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Chapter Text

“... Hoffer -”

Unable to sleep, Albedo turned in his dark tent. Out in the wilderness of Brightcrown, the night was rarely quiet, and filled with scampering sounds of darting squirrels, cricket songs, and the odd cry or two of tussling foxes.

But the cries Albedo was currently hearing did not belong to an angry fox or surprised raccoon. In fact, it came from the tent beside him - a human cry, slightly muffled, but human all the same. 

“Please … I - ah!”

“Cole, shit, keep it down …”

Albedo led a small investigation team which he saw at least thrice a week for field research missions or leyline maintenance like today. But just when he thought he knew everything there was to know about his fellow knights, Hoffer and Cole surprised him tonight. 

And there was no mistaking what they were doing in their shared tent. 

As much as people called him a genius and praised his intellect, Albedo had his own misgivings about his abilities. For one, he could have never seen this coming. He had known Hoffer and Cole long enough and always thought they were just regular coworkers who sometimes clashed in their ideas. When they begrudgingly agreed to share the smaller tent Emma had accidentally packed, never in a million years would he have thought - 

“Please, please - Hoffer …!”

“Dammit … fuck.”

Albedo’s cheeks coloured. There was still a lot he didn't know about human relationships. In particular, human sexuality. What arouses people, what arousal feels like, what they do when they're aroused … 

Well, no, that wasn't completely true. Albedo could say he knew what people did when they were aroused. In the technical sense, anyway. But it was difficult for him to imagine how exactly an orgasm feels, for example. 

“H - Hoffer! I’m going to - !”

Albedo turned back around, snaking a hand into his shorts where a tension had begun to build. He supposed he did know what arousal felt like; despite the circumstances of his creation, he was still human after all. But how this painful, throbbing feeling was pleasurable, Albedo still couldn't understand. 

His fingers wrapped around his arousal, timid and inexperienced. In theory, he knew what to do. He had skimmed the books on human reproduction, perused through texts both high-brow and low on different sexual acts. But the practical application was so … so painfully clumsy. Albedo felt like his fingers had disconnected from his brain as they fumbled around in his pants, squeezing and stroking haphazardly. Was this really supposed to be pleasurable? 

“Hoffer! I’m coming, I’m coming!”

“Archons, C - Cole …”

Albedo grasped at himself in frustration. Despite his best efforts, his arousal remained painfully hard in his fingers, unable to find release. He retracted his hand, sat up, and reached for a clean cloth to wipe the stickiness off, before falling back down on his mat with a frown. 

Disgruntled, Albedo started to form the beginnings of a plan in his mind. An experiment. But to carry it out, he’d have to return to Mondstadt first … 

“Why, Albedo. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Sitting across him at the table was the smiling, thrill-seeking, coin-tossing Cavalry Captain Kaeya. He had really come as asked. Albedo was only fifty percent sure he’d show up in the specified meeting room at such an enigmatic note expressing a vague request. But now that Kaeya was actually here, Albedo found himself at a slight loss for words. 

The morning sun climbed higher up the sky behind the windows, causing the shadows to shift in the room. A reminder that Albedo was wasting time every second he stayed quiet, and they were both very busy people. 

Not that Kaeya seemed to mind, however, if his lounging posture was anything to go by. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Kaeya spun his coin up high, catching the light, all the while still smiling at him. “I must say, I’m rather curious as to why the revered Kreideprinz would like to entertain a private audience with me. Kind of makes me feel special.”

Albedo coughed into a hand. “I was merely out of options.”

“Hm? How do you mean?”

“I mean, as I went down the list of possible candidates for this endeavour, it eventually came to you by process of elimination.”

Unfazed, Kaeya continued to play with his coin. “Ah, but that means I alone satisfied all the necessary criteria, no? So, pray tell, what might this endeavour of yours be?”

Albedo looked away to the side. “Would you …”

“Apologies, I couldn't quite catch that.”

“Would you be willing to …” Albedo swallowed, balling his hands into fists under the table. 

He was going to say it. He had to. 

“Would you have sex with me?”

A falling coin clinked against the table, bouncing away a few times before spinning on itself to an unspectacular rest. And the entire time, it felt like an eternity had passed. 

Albedo must have rehearsed this in his head about a thousand times, but making the request aloud, and in person, was a completely different experience from what he’d imagined. Just last night as he lay in bed thinking about it, it didn't come to him that it might be embarrassing … after all, what was so embarrassing about wanting to explore a natural human function? 

But now Albedo felt an indescribable heat creeping up his face, and he could barely lift his head to look at Kaeya.

Speaking of whom, had been utterly silent for some time. 

With some trepidation, he forced his head up slowly, laying his eyes on Kaeya's indigo-silver pupil. 

It was blown wide in an expression Albedo managed to register as pure shock. 

“Say … say again?” the Cavalry Captain finally managed. 

“I will not,” Albedo tensed, crossing his arms as if that gave him a bit more cover under the other man’s scrutiny. “You heard me right the first time. So will you help me or not?”

“Help you?” Kaeya asked, catching on. “And why is my having - ahem, pardon, sex with you of any help?”

Albedo hesitated. 

He might have been less prepared than he thought for this meeting. He could feel his mind scrambling for a thousand plausible reasons and excuses. But another glance at Kaeya made him waver. It was likely he was going to be read anyway. Best that he was honest about it. 

“I’d like to … explore human experiences I’ve never tried …” 

There wasn't anything shameful about it, Albedo told himself. He clenched his hands tighter, digging his fingernails into his palms. “I’ve never thought much about sex. And … and pleasuring myself is not something I’m particularly skilled at. I just want to know if it's possible for me to also …”

Albedo’s brain had reached its limit, the heat catching up at last. 

“- to also …”

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Kaeya cut in, much to his relief. So great was the feeling that Albedo actually slumped in his seat, releasing a small breath from his body. 

“So, correct me if I am mistaken,” Kaeya began slowly, watching Albedo carefully. “You’re saying you want to know what sexual pleasure feels like, and with no prior experience, you therefore decided to enlist my help. Is that right?”

Albedo nodded. It was logical, wasn't it? Because after all, Kaeya was … 

“You're assuming I’m experienced.”

Albedo stared wordlessly at him, disbelieving. All those times he had seen Kaeya stumble out of the tavern into the streets with another man or lady clinging on his arm. Was he not …? 

Kaeya laughed now, throwing back his head. “Oh, Albedo. Your expression is priceless.”

“Captain Kaeya,” Albedo frowned. “If you're not experienced or willing -”

“Oh, darling, don't get the wrong impression,” Kaeya had stopped chuckling now, although the amusement in his eyes was still clearly evident. 

“I can assure you that I’m both experienced and willing.”

The heat that was just starting to fade flared again in Albedo's chest, travelling up his face with alarming speed. He struggled to compose himself. “I - well, that's good news.”

“The question is,” Kaeya continued, “are you just as willing?”

“Sorry?” It caught Albedo off-guard. Wasn't he the one propositioning?

“Well, some people prefer having sex with people they have feelings for.”

“There is nothing between us,” Albedo clarified plainly. “And I don't mind it. I see you as a colleague and sex won't change that.”

At this, Kaeya laughed again. “How cold of you. But I suppose that's not unexpected. As long as you are fine with it. With me.”

Albedo didn't miss how Kaeya’s eye seemed oddly serious, despite his smiling face. He gave a small nod. 

“I need to hear it.”

“I am.”

“Perfect,” Kaeya's expression was bright. “So, when do we begin?”

Seeing Kaeya in his room past a certain hour was odd for Albedo - no, seeing Kaeya in his room at all was odd. It gave him a strange feeling, a churning feeling in his stomach. 

It had been a few days since Albedo had had that conversation with Kaeya so he did have some time to mentally prepare. He even put it on his schedule, circled it and finished some last minute reading and all. But seeing Kaeya actually standing in his room past twilight was what made it suddenly feel real. 

Then, Kaeya moved, taking a few steps closer, the floorboards creaking beneath his weight. 

It was real. 

Albedo sat on his bed, feeling like he had lost some strength in his legs. 

“Can I … Can I ask a question?” he began. 

“Of course.”

“Were you nervous the first time?”

Kaeya thought for a second. “I think I was incredibly thrilled. May I ask a question?”

“Yes.”

“Are you feeling nervous right now?”

Albedo lifted two fingers to his neck, counting. Just to check. 

“I think so. But I don't really know why,” he admitted frankly.

There were no stakes here. Albedo had made sure of that. This meeting was nothing but a transaction - Albedo even rejected Kaeya’s offer for dinner. And after tonight, they were just going to return to status quo, back to their usual lives as Cavalry Captain and Chief Alchemist with nothing between them. 

They might even forget this ever happened in a few months. 

And yet … 

“It's normal to feel a little apprehensive,” Kaeya assured with a kind smile. “Even if you tell yourself there are no stakes, you're still putting yourself in a vulnerable position.”

Albedo blinked at him. “Are you a mind reader?”

“No,” Kaeya laughed now. “If I were, I'd be a lot happier, I think.”

Albedo raised an eyebrow. “Why do you say that?”

“Uh-uh,” Kaeya wagged a finger at him. “It's my turn to ask a question.”

“Your … turn?”

“Well, I thought we were exchanging questions,” Kaeya pulled Albedo's only chair in the room over, and made himself a seat on it. 

“How far do you want to go tonight?”

The question struck Albedo as strange at first. Wasn't sex the goal here? Then, as his dozens of preparatory readings came to mind, he realised there were different ways of feeling sexual pleasure. Different ways and with varying levels of intimacy. It made him slightly dizzy. 

“I … I don't know,” was his honest answer. 

“How about we start slow? I can take the lead but you tell me to stop whenever it gets too much,” Kaeya offered, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. 

“Alright,” Albedo agreed, thankful he wouldn't be the one initiating. 

“I’m going to sit next to you on the bed,” Kaeya said. 

“Okay …”

There was a dip in the bed beside him. Albedo felt his body move with the motion, and tried to steady himself. He didn't know Kaeya would be sitting that close. 

“Can I hold your hand?”

Albedo nodded, before pausing for a moment. “Wait.”

He removed his gloves, and then lifted a pale hand to Kaeya in the moonlight. 

A larger hand eclipsed it, taking it gently, bringing it all the way to touch Kaeya's lips. Warm breath hit his skin as he breathed into his fingers. 

“How is kissing for a start?” Kaeya asked, smiling behind their hands entwined.

At this point, Albedo could only muster a nod, his voice feeling stuck in his throat. 

Kaeya shifted closer, his other hand coming up to brush against the side of Albedo's face with the back of his fingers. Then, cupping his chin, Kaeya brought him forward. 

Albedo could hear his heart thudding in his ears. It was so loud, he could count its beating without the need to feel his pulse. 

He was definitely nervous … 

But also … 

Kaeya leaned in. 

Soft lips pressed against his chapped ones. And stole the breath from his being.

When Kaeya pulled away after a moment, Albedo breathed deeply, the cool air of the night filling his lungs. And yet, he couldn't put out the fire in his chest.

Thrilled. He was also feeling thrilled. 

“I … I want to try more …” he found himself entreating. 

And Kaeya, obliging, leaned in again. This time, Albedo could feel the smile on the Cavalry Captain’s lips. But only for a second, just before they parted to capture Albedo's bottom lip, suckling. 

Surprised, his hands flew up to grasp at Kaeya's arms. And the man began to pull away … 

But Albedo tightened his hold, and pulled himself towards him. No, he didn't want to stop. He wanted more, he wanted to feel more … 

He felt Kaeya shift his hold, hand coming to the back of his head, entangling his fingers in his hair. In response, Albedo parted his own lips, trying to copy what Kaeya was doing, and earning him a hum of approval. It travelled all the way down to his toes. 

It felt warm, and tingly, and wet. He felt Kaeya's lips devour him, tasting him, claiming the small gasps that escaped from his throat. When Kaeya finally pulled away to allow Albedo to breathe again, he felt like he had just surfaced from a sea of fire.

The saliva trail that formed between their lips slowly broke off.

“Good?”

Albedo blinked at Kaeya. He was absolutely out of breath. Was that how kisses felt? His head was still full of steam. “Are we … are we still exchanging questions?”

Kaeya laughed softly, running light fingers up and down his arm. The sensation tickled, but also soothed him somehow. “We stopped doing that a long time ago. Are you in any mood to continue?”

Albedo nodded again. He might have come across a little eager. His eyes travelled down himself. “I want to … I need …”

Eyeing the small tent in his shorts, his embarrassment caught up with him again, voice growing smaller. 

He’s aroused from kissing Kaeya. 

He brought both hands back to himself. Oh gods. 

“Not a problem,” Kaeya said smoothly, airily, as if he hadn't just seen Albedo internally combust. “Have you done it yourself?”

“I have … but I can't, um …” Albedo trailed off, flushing deeply.

“I’d be glad to lend my assistance.”

He slowly removed his hands, letting them fall to his side. “Um. Okay. Thank you.”

Albedo waited. But neither of them moved. 

Kaeya stared at him for a moment, and then smiled. “I might need you to undress.”

Right. 

Albedo got up from the bed, heading to the chair at the centre of the room. He didn't go very far from Kaeya, but had his back turned to him. Slowly, Albedo began to unbutton his vest, his movements mechanical.

It was all par for the course, he told himself. 

He had never been ashamed of his body, but now that he was standing stark naked in the middle of his room with the full knowledge that someone else was watching keenly, Albedo felt a little hesitant to turn around. 

It seemed Kaeya could sense his reluctance. “You can stop this any time, by the way.”

That's true. Albedo could just call off this entire experiment and ask Kaeya to leave. But he would be lying if he said he wasn't at all curious where this would lead. Already sharing his first kiss with Kaeya felt so … thrilling. Albedo could feel himself turn red at the thought of all the sensations he was feeling a mere few minutes ago. 

He wanted to feel more. 

When Albedo turned back around to face Kaeya, he was met with an expression he couldn't place. Awe? Admiration? 

No, desire.

And yet, Kaeya swallowed it for a moment, asking thickly, “Do you still want to continue?”

“Yes,” he said softly, but affirmatively.

“Come here, then.”

As Albedo made his way back to the bed, Kaeya began to take off his own top, causing some confusion.

“There,” said Kaeya, baring his torso with a grin. For some reason, Albedo found himself blushing at the flexing muscles under a wide expanse of caramel skin. “Now you're not alone.”

“But your pants are still on -”

Kaeya reached for his waist, turning Albedo around as he pulled him down. With a yelp of surprise, Albedo landed in between Kaeya's thighs, the Cavalry Captain’s torso pressed against his back. 

At the contact of Kaeya's skin - somehow it was warmer than Albedo expected - he felt a sudden burst of heat nearer his own abdomen, the very core of it pooling at his groin. 

“Relax,” Kaeya’s voice was like velvet in his ear. “Let me take care of you, darling.”

Albedo was going to say something about Kaeya's penchant for endearments when a gasp replaced his words at the sensation of Kaeya’s lips on his neck. He nipped at the skin playfully, before licking the surface with a hot tongue. 

Albedo shuddered in his hold. 

Speaking of, Kaeya's hands were busy exploring his body. Wandering fingers trailed up and down his sides, his front, grasping at skin, feeling his waist, until eventually, they found his nipples. Albedo never thought they were anything special, but they were now so sensitive under Kaeya's touch. 

Oh, Albedo thought as deft fingers rubbed and played with the reddening nubs. Oh, a soft moan slipped out from him. He never knew they could feel like this … 

Something was leaking from the tip of his arousal. 

“What a pretty cock you have,” came Kaeya's voice in his ear, low and soft. “Look at it twitching. It wants to be touched, doesn't it?”

“Y - yes …” Albedo breathed shakily. His arousal - his … cock, was yearning for stimulation.

Kaeya's hand travelled down, and instinctively, Albedo moved his thighs aside, allowing him access. Kaeya cupped him from below, gently kneading the soft flesh, and then finally wrapped firm fingers around his length. He stroked him once, thumbing its leaking tip. 

Albedo jolted. Kaeya's touch felt like fire, burning him, in the best way possible. 

Now sliding up and down his length in an easy rhythm, Kaeya's free hand now went back to playing with a nipple, causing a string of moans to spill from Albedo. Self-conscious, he lifted a hand to his mouth, while the other grasped onto the sheets for any semblance of hold onto reality. 

But covering his mouth didn't seem to help much with Kaeya now increasing the speed of his strokes. In fact, the onslaught of sensations was so much that Albedo found himself moaning loudly into a loose fist that barely stifled anything anyway. Kaeya chuckled behind him, the reverberations of his laugh rippling through Albedo. 

“How precious you sound, falling apart like this, Kreideprinz.”

It was true. Albedo was losing his sanity. All and any coherent thought was burnt to a crisp in his lust-addled mind. 

Kaeya’s mouth was back on Albedo's neck, kissing and suckling on the skin. He was still being gentle, but it was that extra stimulation that finally sent Albedo tripping over the edge. 

“K - Kaeya, I can't hold - !”

With a stuttering keen, Albedo spilled over Kaeya's hand. He watched it all through his teary half-lidded eyes, saw how his mess coated Kaeya's fingers, and yet, he didn't stop stroking him until the very last waves of pleasure stopped pulsating through his body. 

Neither of them spoke for a moment, until Kaeya shifted his weight a little and Albedo realised he had not only been slumping on Kaeya, the Cavalry Captain himself was also feeling … 

Ah, Albedo sat up with some realisation. He had been … he was aroused too? 

But Kaeya made no mention of it, instead tilting his head to look at Albedo with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Well …” he thought about it for a moment. “Like my limbs are loose and limber. My head … feels lighter, somehow. And perhaps, there's some drowsiness too.”

“So you feel good then,” Kaeya scoffed, flicking the back of his head gently. “Next time you feel this way, just tell me you feel good.”

Next time? But he put the thought away first. He still had something to take care of.

Albedo stood up slowly. “By the way, the rag and washbucket you asked me to prepare is on the desk.”

“Wonderful.”

As Kaeya made his way to the desk, Albedo reached for a leather-bound journal at his bedside. There was a pen there already, and Albedo picked it up, turning the book to a fresh page. For a moment, the only sounds that filled the room were the sporadic sloshing of water and a nib scratching the surface of paper. 

“What are you doing?” Kaeya asked, curious as he looked over his shoulder. 

“I’m recording my experiences,” Albedo explained. “I don't intend to make this a formal experiment, but I’d still like to document my experiences. Oh, and …”

He put down his pen in exchange for a small bag. “Here's your remuneration.”

Kaeya turned to face him, staring at the bag, affronted. “Are you buying me?”

“Your services.”

“I don't run a service,” Kaeya retorted, tone equal parts indignant and amused. “And I’m an upstanding citizen of Mondstadt. How could I ever extort Mora from someone?”

Fortunately, Albedo was prepared. He reached below and pulled out a tall bottle. 

“Is that wine?”

“It's not much. But it is Dawn Winery’s acclaimed red.”

Kaeya marched over, mild frustration in his tone. “You couldn’t have poured that earlier? Ah … save it.”

He knelt in front of Albedo. “Besides, I’m getting something out of this too.”

Kaeya touched a wet cloth on Albedo’s stomach. Carefully, he cleaned the area, as well as his … other parts.

A little sensitive, Albedo trembled at the sensation, setting the wine bottle down quickly. Perhaps he will open it next time. 

Ah, and about that … 

“Are you sure you're getting something out of this?” Albedo asked, still uncertain. “What is it?”

“Hm? Take a guess.”

Pleasure? No, Albedo hadn't done anything for Kaeya tonight. Entertainment, then? 

“Is this an amusing way to pass the time for you?”

“You could say that,” Kaeya stood up, a different kind of a smile on his lips. One that curved up playfully from the sides of his lips. “Like any other person, I enjoy watching a pretty face lost in the throes of pleasure.”

Albedo looked away, doubtful. “That day when I made the request, and you didn't accept it immediately …”

“Hm?”

“I thought perhaps I didn’t meet your standards for attractiveness.”

Kaeya laughed, seeming genuinely tickled. “Far from it.”

He was buttoning up now. At any moment, he’d be out of the room and on his way. Still, if Kaeya wasn't opposed to it …

“Would you see me again, then?”

Kaeya placed a hand over his heart. “It would be my pleasure.”

After Kaeya left the room, Albedo turned back to his journal. Under a sliver of moonlight peeking out from behind parting clouds, he recollected the sensations he felt tonight while it was still fresh in his mind. 

Session 1, XXXX

It proves possible for homunculi like myself to reach sexual climax through prolonged external physical stimulation. The post-climax stage feels … 

Good.

Note: It seems specific words of the subject’s partner also has an enhancing effect on arousal. 

More observation needed. 

Chapter Text

First, they had to be single. 

Single, as in, not attached, not in a committed relationship with anyone. That immediately ruled out Jean and Lisa, for example. Even though the two tried to keep things professional at work (or rather, Jean did), it was hard not to notice Lisa's light, affectionate touches here and there. An involuntary expression of her adoration for Jean, Albedo supposed.

Secondly, they shouldn't be too familiar nor a complete stranger. The willing participant in his endeavours should ideally walk the fine line of being an acquaintance he knows, but not someone he was close to. 

And lastly, they should ideally already have some experience. 

Going down his list of crossed-out names, Albedo eventually reached the last one. He tapped the nib of his pen lightly against the paper. Going by the checklist, this person seemed to meet all his criteria. Of course he couldn't say for certain whether he was committed to someone or not. 

But seeing how he was teetering out of Angel’s Share with yet a different person hanging on his arms tonight, Albedo was fairly sure he was just sleeping with whoever took his fancy that night. 

Albedo was coming up from the other end of the street that night, heading back to his quarters after an evening stroll. He guessed he, on the other hand, was going to his company’s place. Distantly, he wondered if this sort of lifestyle was sustainable.

They passed each other by. Not a word exchanged between them. 

However, Albedo did note how he had the widest grin on his face as he chatted away with his equally lively partner for the night. To each their own, he supposed. Albedo wasn't one to judge. 

But it did make things easier if his possible willing participant was used to having casual partners. 

So it was going to be Kaeya. Albedo made a mental note to schedule a meeting once he got back. 

Inevitably, another thought took root from the name of the seed now planted in his mind. 

What would sex with Kaeya be like?  

Over the next few days, the thought sprouted leaves, branching and growing like a weed unchecked. It grew in all the fissures of his focus, at work, at meetings, at nights in bed. Albedo often found himself wondering.

Would Kaeya scoff at his own inexperience? 

Or perhaps Kaeya might want to exploit that for his own pleasure.  

Whatever the case, Albedo was prepared. Every experiment comes with risks, anyway.

But when the time came, Kaeya was surprisingly … careful. Careful and mindful of his actions, and extremely thorough in ensuring Albedo’s comfort in the whole process. 

Not what Albedo would expect from someone as carefree and egoistic as Kaeya, constantly chasing one hedonistic experience after another, living his life without worry. 

Or so he thought. 

“Are you a mind reader?”

“No. If I were, I'd be a lot happier, I think.”

That morning, when Albedo rubbed tired eyes out in bed, the thought suddenly occurred to him that there was more to Kaeya than he had initially profiled. 

Perhaps Kaeya's wide grin as he accompanied yet another casual partner to fall into bed with wasn't as simple of an explanation as merely being a glutton for pleasure. 

Unable to keep pondering on his thoughts forever, Albedo finally got to his feet and made his way to work. 

As scheduled, he was with the Investigation Team again for a routine check on the leylines.

But today, he found his eyes wandering to Hoffer and Cole whenever they interacted, the knowledge of what they did together the last time they were at work tinging his perception of their relationship. 

“Cole! Don't you know your own size? If you drop the equipment and it breaks, we’re done for!” 

“Oh, like you're going to be any help!”

“I’m on the other side of the field!”

“I’ll help him.”

“Calm down, Hoffer. He’s fine.”

Watching the yelling match, it seemed like nothing had changed between them. He knew his team members. He knew how Hoffer and Cole bickered the most with each other. But if that hadn't changed since … that night, then perhaps there was always something there between them the whole time. 

Albedo was having a hard time wrapping his mind around it. 

“Captain Albedo?”

A knight was handing him a report. He was staring at him curiously. “Everything alright, Captain Albedo?”

“Yes, Erich …”

Albedo turned his focus back on the numbers in front of him. All the data one could ever need to know about the leylines recorded in black and white. Contrary to what others say, human emotions weren't a science, and certainly less so in the domain of love. Feelings seemed to come in different shapes and forms, varying from individual to individual. How could anything there be measured with precision? 

How could one tell that they were in love? 

Albedo felt like he still had a lot to learn.  

Speaking of learning, Albedo’s research into his latest personal area of interest has led him to realise he might not have the adequate … equipment for further studies. 

Fortunately, there wasn't much work to be done today. All indicators of the leylines’ condition point to being normal. So, wrapping things up quickly, Albedo led the expedition back to Mondstadt when the light was just beginning to wane. 

“Thank you for your work today. Please have a good evening ahead,” Albedo said, releasing his team from the drudgery of the day. 

“Thank you, Captain.”

Usually, Albedo might have headed back to the Ordo, but since he needed to stock up on a certain something, he quickly made his way to the general store, hoping he made it in time. 

To his relief, the shop sign on the door still read “Open”. He was just about to enter when a shadow fell over him. 

“Kaeya,” he looked behind with mild surprise. 

“What a lovely coincidence, Chief Alchemist. How do you do?”

“Fine,” Albedo murmured. Then, after a pause, “And you?”

The Cavalry Captain flashed a flirtatious grin, one that Albedo had seen being used all too often with about a dozen other red-faced merrymakers at the tavern every night. 

“Better now that I’ve run into you.”

Trying not to let his scepticism show, Albedo merely turned around in response and pushed open the door.

A tinkling bell announced their entry. But an older man at the counter, frowning down at his paper, barely looked up. 

“What are you here for?” Albedo couldn't help ask. 

“Shoe polish,” Kaeya said, brushing off invisible dust from the bells and jingles that hung from his clothes. “Got to keep ‘em shining. What about you?”

“My shoes get muddy in the field all the time.”

“I mean, what do you need from here?” Kaeya chuckled, coming to a stop in front of a section. Albedo wasn't sure why he followed. 

Perhaps it was because the item in question was something related to their recent arrangement after all. 

“Lubricant.”

Kaeya's expression was hard to describe in words. Taken aback was probably the best way to put it. But even the turn of phrase didn't fully capture how Kaeya choked on his earlier chuckling and tried to hide it behind clearing his throat, all for an uncharacteristically dumbfounded moment. 

“Ah hah. Albedo,” Kaeya managed after a beat, words tumbling out in a breathy laugh. “Your frankness is refreshing. And dare I say, endearing.”

Albedo crossed his arms, looking down. “Well, since you’re here, you might as well help me.”

“Naturally.”

After selecting his shoe polish, Kaeya steered Albedo towards an aisle at the end of the store. He led him to some shelves tucked away at a corner at the back. A curtain overhanging from the ceiling also gave the space some privacy. 

“Here we are,” said Kaeya grandly, holding the curtain aside, as if he were presenting the latest innovative creations at a conference. 

But to Albedo, the rows upon rows of a variety of products all made to enhance pleasure might as well be. Albedo couldn't help but stare. He never knew there were that many types of lubricants, let alone the other props and toys displayed there. 

“Well?”

“Honestly, I’m a little lost,” Albedo admitted.

“Generally speaking, there are water-based lubricants and oil-based lubricants,” Kaeya gestured, pointing those out. “Water-based lubricants are made from natural thickeners like hydro slime condensate, while oil-based lubricants are made from plant oils.”

Albedo recalled that was indeed the case with all his research. “So …”

“Since it's your first time, I’d recommend a water-based one. They’re stain-free and don't irritate,” Kaeya supplemented helpfully. “Try this one.”

Kaeya passed him a nondescript glass bottle with a clear fluid. The item felt cold and heavy in his hands. Foreign. 

“I’ll teach you how to use it.”

But it's not so much the lack of guidance he feared. Albedo wasn't even sure if he could even feel pleasure from stimulating that part. He couldn't be certain how thorough his master had been in his creation, after all. For all he knew, he could have been made with only the basic functions for survival and practicality, only to be all wrapped up nicely in an outer puppet shell resembling a human. 

Albedo lifted his head to look at Kaeya now. “What if I can't … can't …”

Suddenly, Kaeya flicked a strand of hair from his face, surprising him. “That’s normal too,” he scoffed. “That’s perfectly normal. Don't worry your pretty little head over nothing.” 

“But -”

“We’ll make it feel good for you anyway,” Kaeya’s hand caught on a shelf as he leaned down to smile knowingly. “Didn't you enjoy the last time?”

Memories of the last time surfaced in his mind, replaying every single curl of his toes and hitch of his breath as he trembled under Kaeya's touch. 

Archons, he was heating up. Involuntarily, Albedo raised a hand to his warming face.

“Well …”

Albedo was so caught up in his mind that he didn't even realise someone else had come through the curtain (and he had pretty good hearing) until Kaeya shifted back and looked up. 

Albedo turned, expecting a stranger, but found instead, someone very familiar. 

Someone he had just seen. 

“Hoffer.”

“S - sorry, I -” the knight stammered, already backing away. “I - I made a mistake. Turned a wrong corner. Good evening, Captain!”

Hasty footsteps faded away, suggesting he had retreated, probably out of the store completely. 

“Is that knight under your charge?” Kaeya asked eventually. 

“Yes,” Albedo replied. Him and the rest of the investigation team. But why would he be …?

And then it hit him. “It’s Cole!”

“Didn't you just call him ‘Hoffer’?”

“Oh, I meant, he was probably here because he and Cole are …” Albedo hesitated. Were they in a committed relationship? Just colleagues who fell into bed by happenstance? What were they? 

“... Because he and Cole are … in some sort of relationship, I think.”

Kaeya laughed. “So it seems they have an arrangement between themselves too.”

Albedo began to make his way out, still in deep thought. “Well, not an arrangement like ours, I don't think …”

“We're in a pretty unique predicament,” Kaeya agreed from behind. 

“Hoffer and Cole …” Albedo mused, recalling how Kaeya once said some people preferred to have sex with someone they had feelings for. Was Hoffer and Cole’s relationship exclusive? 

“I wonder if sex is better between parties with mutual feelings.”

“It depends on the individual,” Kaeya shrugged. 

They reached the counter, where the elderly shopkeeper now peered at them just past his paper as they placed their items down. 

“That's all, Gerard,” Kaeya said, depositing a Mora pouch on the smooth surface of the table.

The shopkeeper grunted, sweeping the pouch off the counter. No questions asked. 

Kaeya handed the bottle back to Albedo, and then headed for the door. 

“I’ll pay you back,” Albedo pocketed the glass bottle quickly, going after him. 

“Tomorrow night,” Kaeya smiled, holding the door chivalrously, in stark contrast to the implications behind his words. 

Implications that Albedo did not miss. Tomorrow night. Their next scheduled meet up. Somehow, the thought of paying Kaeya back with sex was … 

“Like any other person, I enjoy watching a pretty face lost in the throes of pleasure.”

Albedo’s pulse raced. He never thought himself pretty or attractive in the least. But the way Kaeya looked at him on their first night … 

It made Albedo want to be desired. 

The thought, sudden as it came, surprised him to standstill. 

“Albedo?”

The lamps were beginning to turn on, flooding the darkening cobblestoned streets in hues of orange and yellow. Albedo turned his face away from the light. 

“I’ll … see you tomorrow night, then,” he murmured. 

Without losing another second, Albedo strode past Kaeya, brisk-walking his way back to the Ordo Favonius. He felt like he needed an extra long bath tonight. 

As it sometimes happened, Albedo would find himself saddled with newfound emotions like now, unsure of what to do except cradle them in his arms carefully, like the complicated, yet precious things they are, until he found a place to make sense of them in due time. 

Albedo spent the later part of his afternoon in many assorted positions. He had twisted and turned himself over in so many ways now, he could probably train as a contortionist. Seldom were the poses pretty, and many were downright uncomfortable, but Albedo was determined to feel something from his efforts. 

Come sundown, however, Albedo only felt just as foolish as he was confused. He had followed every step he gathered from his reference materials - from washing himself to massaging various areas for the relaxation of his muscles to the actual (and very awkward) insertion of his fingers … 

And yet, after multiple attempts, Albedo hadn’t found that elusive “sweet spot” within him. 

It confirmed what he thought might have been the whole time. Even if the gland did exist (and by the rules of his biology, it technically should), he lacked the ability to feel pleasure from stimulating it. 

Strangely, contrary to how he felt back at the store with Kaeya, Albedo was rather accepting of the fact. 

He stood from the bed and cleaned up after himself, mentally crossing prostate stimulation off his bucket list. And then, got dressed and went for dinner.

When Kaeya entered his room later, Albedo was already sitting on the bed, prepared to tell him. 

“It didn't work. We should do something else. Perhaps oral sex would be viable.”

Kaeya paused, and he had only just come through the door. “Pardon?”

“I tried using my fingers,” Albedo elaborated tonelessly. “I followed all the steps. I didn't feel anything.”

Kaeya's mouth curved upwards now. “While I’d love to try oral sex with you as well, are you absolutely certain you can't feel pleasure from your prostate?”

“I’m …” Albedo started, trying to get his derailing thoughts back on track. While I’d love to try oral sex with you. “I’m certain that … I did every step thoroughly but …”

Kaeya came to him now, joining him on the bed. “Let me see how you do it.”

“I don't think that'll …”

“I’ll guide you,” Kaeya turned his head to hold his gaze, leaning in. 

Momentarily, all Albedo could do was open and close his mouth wordlessly. At such a close proximity, Kaeya's gaze had a certain … electrifying effect on his mind. 

“Only if you want, of course,” Kaeya added softly. 

Albedo glanced away, getting up. “I - I can do that, but I’ll need my journal. My steps are all …”

He stopped when he felt Kaeya's hand on his.

“Just do what you remember. I’ll help you,” Kaeya insisted gently, smiling. 

Albedo swallowed a sudden nervousness that arose in him. But he couldn't ignore how the feeling was tinged with a hint of thrill. And much like the first time he did this with Kaeya, Albedo found he didn't hate it. 

Slowly, he got to his feet, just so he could undress. 

He turned around to unbutton his clothes, feeling Kaeya's gaze on him like fire on his bare skin. He didn't think that might ever go away. 

“Okay,” Albedo said, opening a drawer for the lubricant. He climbed back onto his bed next, still avoiding Kaeya's eye. “I think I’m ready.”

“Please go ahead.”

Albedo adjusted his pillow behind him, supporting his back. And now he realised he was facing Kaeya, who had turned his entire body towards him. 

He had his knees propped up, and squeezed them tightly together now. 

This was going to be harder than he thought.

“Um,” Albedo began, unsure how he suddenly became so self-conscious. 

Maybe it was the way Kaeya was staring at him so intently. 

His brain was struggling to recall what to do next. “I - um … I think I used this much lubricant …”

Albedo uncorked the bottle, pouring a substantial amount into his hand. Then, slowly, he reached between his legs … 

“Ah, it's a little difficult to see what you’re doing,” Kaeya’s eye was glinting. He tilted his head. “I’d like for you to … spread your legs apart.”

Albedo felt himself flush, pausing in his motions. For a moment, he forgot how to breathe.

But eventually, he took a very shaky breath, and untangled his legs as he was told, slowly moving his feet apart. 

Kaeya hummed in approval, the sound making him shiver as heat pooled at his groin. 

And most embarrassingly, Albedo could feel himself hardening in arousal under Kaeya's gaze. Kaeya's hungry gaze. Staring at him like he was a meal to be devoured. 

Somewhere at the back of his melting mind, Albedo registered a last coherent thought - he did want to be desired. 

“Lovely,” Kaeya’s voice was like velvet. “Do continue.”

Trembling fingers began to massage his skin, one hand reaching for his opening, and the other travelling up his chest. When he made contact with a nipple, a soft moan escaped his lips. Ever since Kaeya touched him there … Albedo blushed harder, unable to complete the thought. He felt more sensitive now than all his attempts in the afternoon. 

Another moan slipped out, and this time, Albedo tried to hide it in his rambling words. “The - the steps said … prior to - to penetration … relaxing my muscles with stimulation …”

Albedo trailed off in a shakily. What was he trying to explain again? 

“Foreplay?” Kaeya offered in a low voice. “You’re doing well. There's nothing to be ashamed of.”

Right. He was trying to justify his actions. Under Kaeya's gaze, he felt like he was engaging in something depraved. Swallowing another moan, Albedo now began to slowly insert a finger. 

“That's right, steady motions now,” Kaeya murmured, eye tracking his every movement. “When you're ready, go on and add another finger.”

The next finger joined his first, faster than when he was doing it himself in the afternoon. But having already been stretched then, there was barely any discomfort. Rather, it now felt like he was really doing this in earnest - touching himself in front of Kaeya. 

Heat flared in his cheeks, and Albedo had to bite his lip down for fear of making yet another embarrassing sound. 

“Mm. Beautiful. Reach as deep as you can,” Kaeya continued smoothly. “Curl your fingers upwards. That's right. That's it.”

Albedo probably wasn't doing anything right, but his mind was getting fuzzy. Against his own will, more moans tumbled out of his mouth, even though he didn't think he was finding much pleasure in stimulating his prostate. No, the pleasure came from somewhere else. 

“You're doing so well, darling.”

It came from Kaeya's praise. 

He wanted to feel good, for Kaeya. 

Albedo moved his fingers inside him, desperately searching, desperately trying to draw any pleasure he could. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he just hadn't found that spot yet. Maybe he needed … 

When Albedo lifted his eyes to Kaeya’s molten gaze, he knew what he needed. 

“... T - touch. Please touch me,” Albedo stammered. 

Kaeya's eye darkened.

“Oh, darling, I thought you'd never ask.”

Discarding his gloves, Kaeya shifted closer, the bed dipping with his weight. He placed both arms on either side of Albedo, closing in on him, and leaned forward with a smile that did not hide his less-than-polite intentions. Albedo's heart was thundering in his ears. 

He was so close now that Albedo could feel Kaeya's breath on his face. It tickled him, and caused every hair on his arm to stand in anticipation. Involuntarily, he lifted his chin to Kaeya …

And the next thing he knew, warm lips crashed on his, drawing his breath with burning need, turning him pliant under the taller man, his mouth all for Kaeya to taste and explore. 

Faintly, Albedo registered the sound of a cork being popped. Evidently, Kaeya's hands had been busy too. 

When Kaeya pulled away, Albedo was left panting. But he barely had a moment to catch his breath as the following sensation of foreign fingers near his opening took him by surprise. Albedo was about to withdraw his own fingers when Kaeya's other hand held him still by the wrist. 

“You can take it,” he promised, voice heady in his ear. 

Somehow, Albedo found himself nodding. But that didn't stop him from exhaling shakily when a bigger finger pressed on that ring of muscle until it gave way, his finger slipping inside. The stretch wasn't as bad as he expected with how wet he was there, but it did feel tight inside him.

“Relax. Good boy, that's it,” Kaeya cooed, his words clouding Albedo's mind. His eyelids fluttered close. “Aren't you enjoying yourself? You love being praised, don't you?”

Did he? Albedo’s mind was so hazy. Maybe he did. 

Kaeya leaned forward again, this time to press his lips against Albedo's neck. He suckled at his skin, and Albedo couldn't help but tremble at the sensation - he didn't know he was sensitive there. At the same time, Kaeya's finger had begun to move inside him, slowly thrusting in and out, making small circles, stretching him. 

“So good,” Kaeya murmured against him. “You’re doing so good for me.”

Albedo really couldn't hold back his moans. Kaeya's finger, his voice, his words, they all felt too much. He didn't need to look down to know his arousal was leaking against his stomach. It didn't feel like this when he was doing it alone. 

“Think you can take another finger?”

Kaeya’s second finger prodded around his stretched entrance. Albedo felt like he was at his limit, but wanting to hear more of Kaeya's praise, he nodded his head again. 

To his surprise, the ring of muscle at his entrance gave way a fourth time, and Kaeya's second finger was able to slide in, joining the rest. Although, perhaps he had agreed too quickly, as the resulting stretch stung around his opening, bordering on painful.

But Kaeya didn't give him much time to think about it. His mouth kissed a trail down to a raised nipple, taking it whole into his lips. Albedo arched into Kaeya, crying out loud. But Kaeya was relentless, using his tongue to lap at his nipple. 

“K - Kaeya, Kaeya,” Albedo gasped. He was sure he was leaking a huge mess onto the bed. Eventually, Kaeya pulled off, giving him some reprieve. 

“Oh, darling, you’re taking my fingers so well,” Kaeya licked his lips. And then Albedo realised he was already thrusting both his fingers in and out of him. When did he begin? 

“Told you you could. You look so gorgeous stretched out on your fingers and mine.”

Following Kaeya's gaze downwards, another moan escaped him at the sight of his tight entrance, glistening under the moonlight as it stretched around four fingers. He had never seen anything so perverse. But the increased drumming of his heart told him he was excited by it. Albedo flushed deeply. What was Kaeya doing to him? 

“Do you know what face you are making?”

He didn't. But he had an idea. And he turned his head away in shame. 

“No, look at me,” Kaeya's other hand held his chin, forcing Albedo to meet his gaze. 

With a stronger thrust, Kaeya reached deeper inside him, curling his fingers upwards suddenly. 

“A - ah!”

Kaeya released a sound in between a sigh and a chuckle. “Hah. Found it.”

With newfound vigour, Kaeya drove his fingers into that one spot. Gasping, Albedo’s hands scrambled, digging into his bedsheets, his pillow, Kaeya's forearm - anything to ground himself while shockwaves flooded his body.

“Kaeya, Kaeya, I - I can’t - !”

Every aimed thrust sent bursts of pleasure through him, intentional in reducing Albedo’s words to an incoherent moaning mess. Kaeya's hungry eye seemed to be drinking in the sight of Albedo losing himself - glinting in razor-sharp focus on every twist in his features. Even as tears began to form, it only seemed to feed Kaeya. His arm flexed with every forceful thrust. 

Albedo couldn't do much but succumb to it all, legs trembling as his toes scrunched up in his bedsheets. The build-up was faster than he thought, heat climbing to a fever pitch, until it pushed against the absolute limit, and broke through it, white hot stars bursting behind Albedo's eyes. 

Oh. Oh, did that feel good. His release was so intense, Albedo couldn't stop shaking for a while. The thrusting fingers slowed, allowing him to ride it out, still spurting ribbons from his arousal. 

Ah, his red, neglected arousal. Albedo breathed heavily as he stared at it from his teary eyes. He couldn't believe it, but the evidence didn't lie, he was able to orgasm without directly stimulating it. 

Eventually, the thrusting fingers inside him came to a complete halt, before withdrawing from him slowly. Albedo let out a shaky sigh, taking out his own fingers as well. 

“Beautiful,” Kaeya whispered, a gentle hand coming up to brush Albedo's matted hair from his face. Then, he leaned down to press his lips against his closing eyelids, kissing his tears away. 

“Looks like you were able to feel pleasure there just fine.”

Albedo's eyelids fluttered open. He didn't answer at first; it felt like he was only just getting his bearings back. But eventually, his senses did return, and was able to form whole words again. 

“I - I thought …” Albedo shook his head slowly. “I’m surprised … at myself.”

Kaeya chuckled softly. “How did that feel?”

Perhaps, if Kaeya had asked the same question at another time, Albedo would have told him off for asking the obvious, but tonight, he paused to give the question serious consideration. 

Like intense pleasure he had never felt before. He still felt so light. Like his body was floating.

Albedo remembered what Kaeya had advised him when he was talking about his feelings the last time. 

“It felt good.”

He watched the Cavalry Captain sitting across from him break into breathy laughter. Albedo was suddenly struck with a thought. 

If sex with Kaeya already felt this good, he wondered what sex with someone he loved would feel like. 

Was it really better? 

Right now, it was difficult for Albedo to imagine. 

“Let's get you cleaned up,” Kaeya said, standing up from the bed and extending a hand to him. 

Albedo stared at it momentarily, still lost in thought. Eventually, he reached out his hand, taking Kaeya's. 

He hoped that one day, if he ever found someone he loved, sex with them would feel just as good as he did now. 

Later, as Albedo fought the onset of drowsiness, he decided to put away other miscellaneous thoughts and focus instead on objectively recording his experience. 

Session 2, XXXX

It seems even homunculi with a prostate might experience sexual pleasure from its stimulation, although to what degree and intensity might vary. 

Overall factors determining the amount of pleasure experienced include the subject's prior knowledge, technique, as well as whether the partner is watching intently … 

Albedo paused here, pen tapping on the paper. He wasn't sure about the phrasing of the last one. Hastily, he struck it out. 

More observation needed. 

Chapter Text

Ah. He wasn't paying attention. 

When he finally registered the pain, Albedo drew his arm back as fast as possible. But it was a little too late. 

Over the sink, he reached forward to douse his arm in running water. It took the edge off the pain somewhat, but the sliver of skin between his gloves and sleeves was still an angry red colour. 

“I’m going to see Barbara,” he said, passing by Sucrose on his way to the door. 

“Everything alright, Mr Albedo?” the girl looked up from her book quickly. 

“Just a small burn,” Albedo said, hiding his arm behind. “I’ll be fine.”

“How did that happen?” Timaeus came over from the side of the room, eyebrows furrowing in concern. 

How did that happen, indeed? Albedo silently chastised himself. It was the last workday of the week and he had been losing his focus all morning. He knew what was distracting him - the building anxiety over what he had planned for tomorrow night … and it didn't help that Kaeya's words had been ringing in his head all week. 

While I’d love to try oral sex with you …

Albedo turned away from his students, “I got a little too close to the crucible, that's all.”

Later, when Barbara attended him, she was all gasps and exclamations of worry for his “lack of rest” that had caused his decreased focus. But no, Albedo grimaced inwardly, it was one hundred percent his fault for letting himself get distracted by things he really shouldn't be thinking about at work. He couldn't exactly admit that, however. So instead, he murmured quick thank-yous and made solemn nods to the Deaconess’ concerned lecturing.

“Barbaraaa!” a familiar spirited voice sounded from a ways behind, before little footsteps could be heard tip-tapping their way down the marbled floor of the church. “Barbara, can I - oh! Albedo? Did something happen?”

He turned his head to see Klee just coming up to his side. “It’s only a small accident.”

“Your brother needs some rest,” Barbara sighed, loosely wrapping his arm now with some gauze. 

“I’ll be fine,” Albedo assured. “What brings you here, Klee?”

“Oh! Um …” the elven girl looked at the ground, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “I was … looking for someone to play with!”

Albedo raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“You should ask your big brother,” Barbara said, looking a little wistful. “It's such a nice day out and I wish she’d also … ah, nevermind. Mr Albedo, you should go with Klee.”

“Ooh! Can we go to Starfell lake?”

“But -”

“Some fresh air might reinvigorate your focus. You want to return to work ready to concentrate right?” Barbara huffed, placing both hands on her hips. “Then, it's time you take a break.”

Finding it a little hard to refuse Klee’s hopeful eyes and Barbara's adamance, Albedo eventually sighed, giving in. 

“What are we doing at Starfell lake again?”

“Flower-picking!” Klee giggled, tugging him by the hand. “Let's go!”

Beyond the city walls, a gentle wind was blowing. They trekked down sun-drenched roads and past verdant meadows, the wild uncut grass swaying in the cool breeze. 

Barbara was right, it was a nice day out. 

Slightly feeling less tense than before, Albedo began to relax into Klee’s lively chatter, allowing his mind to empty and be occupied with more lighthearted topics - like what flowers there were at Starfell lake, and where and how the flowers were going to be kept. 

By chance, Albedo found a smooth rock to sit on just by the lake. It was a nice spot to watch out for Klee while enjoying the breeze at the same time. Gradually, he felt the stiffness in his shoulders easing. Perhaps Barbara was right again, perhaps he was due for a break …

“I like Kaeya!!” 

At Klee’s words, Albedo looked up with mild surprise. The little elven girl was smiling as she picked a Calla lily from the rushes of Starfell lake, the sparkling water reflecting dappled light onto her face. Instead of adding the lily to her growing collection of wildflowers in her arms, she held it out to him for his inspection first. 

“I like Kaeya, so this one is for him!”

Albedo paused, then found his words again. “What do you like about him, Klee?”

“I like that he’s smart, and funny, and nice to everyone!”

Oh. 

Albedo looked toward the cerulean sky. 

They were all positive attributes. And based on Albedo's observations so far, it seemed those attributes did lend to Kaeya’s many adoring admirers too. Of course, there was more to him than those characteristics, but sometimes Albedo did wonder … 

Why wasn’t Kaeya in a committed relationship?

He was still thinking about the question when they returned to the city after their flower-picking adventure, and planned to have a nice lunch when Jean received them with a stern expression. 

“Klee, this is the third time this week that you’ve neglected your chores!” 

“I’m sorryyyy!!”

Albedo sighed. He had a feeling something was afoot when Klee ran into the church, almost tripping over her own feet this morning. “Go along with Master Jean, Klee. Let's have a nice lunch another time, after you're done with your chores.”

Sniffling, Klee passed Albedo a Calla lily before taking up Jean’s firm hand. 

“Please give this to Kaeya!”

Albedo watched her be led away, waving a final time before letting his arm fall to the side. He now turned his attention to the Calla lily in his other hand, its sunset-dyed petals quivering ever so slightly in his hold. 

He supposed he should make his way then. 

Albedo might have been forced to take a day off but it was still a workday for Kaeya - not that it meant much with how Kaeya never seemed like he was actually working. Just in case his hunch was right, he made his way around town first to see if he might somehow run into Kaeya. 

He even went to the general store, visiting the shoe polish aisle and considered buying some shoe polish himself, but eventually decided against it at the thought of another muddy trip to dig up some leylines next week. 

And then, in a decisive moment, he headed to the secluded corner Kaeya once showed him. 

Only shelves full of many other mystery items greeted Albedo, and among them, rows of toys he couldn't quite place how exactly they were meant to be used …

Albedo tore his eyes away, remembering himself. 

Perhaps he was wrong about Kaeya. Perhaps Mondsatdt's carefree Cavalry Captain was actually hard at work, toiling away. There was only so much he knew about him. Albedo ascended the stone steps of the city, on the path back to the Ordo Favonius, until, from the corner of his eye, he finally caught sight of a familiar tall stature by the fountain of Goth Grand Hotel. 

It was Kaeya! Albedo adjusted the Calla lily in his hold, quickening his pace towards his direction …

But he wasn't alone. 

She was turned away from him but Albedo needn't see her face to read her body language. Her shoulders slumped in response to whatever disappointing news Kaeya was telling her. And then, turning on her heel, the lady walked away, past Albedo, wearing a tearfully shaky smile on her face.  

It wasn't hard to guess what had happened. 

“Ahah, Albedo,” Kaeya exhaled a short laugh, eye falling on him now that he was in his direct line of sight. “You don't have to look at me like I just committed a crime.”

“Just how many people have you let down?” Albedo placed a hand on his hip. 

“Many,” Kaeya still smiled, sauntering towards him. “Oh, but don't mistake me. I’m not an irresponsible heartbreaker. I rarely let it get to that point.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m quite upfront about the fact that I’m not looking for a committed relationship with my partners,” Kaeya waved a hand lazily. “And if they're not reading the signals right, it's their fault for falling in love.”

Their fault. Albedo mulled over the turn of phrase. Their fault for falling in love … Albedo would have never thought about it that way. Was it someone's personal responsibility to stop themselves from loving someone else? 

Albedo hadn't even a concrete answer for how one could tell they were in love yet, and now another question had popped into his mind. 

Could one stop themselves from falling in love? 

Albedo stared at Kaeya who now stood in front of him, eye glinting with amusement.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

His lips formed the question before his brain could properly think about it.

“Have you … ever been in love, Kaeya?”

The Cavalry Captain laughed into a loose fist. “Maybe. Once upon a time. Who knows?”

It was a little too light and breathy - the laughter that he forced. Albedo watched his countenance keenly. Somehow, it didn't look quite right; it didn't look quite like joy. It looked more like the plastered smiling expressions he had on nights after a good round of drinks or two, stumbling out of the tavern with another person in tow. 

With some surprise, Albedo came to a realisation: For such a professed romantic, Kaeya was strangely rather sceptical of love. 

It’s their fault for falling in love. 

Albedo held up the Calla lily, tiny petals trembling in a dying wind. 

“For me?” Kaeya, the questionable romantic, raised a hand to his chest dramatically. He gazed down at Albedo with a stare he couldn't meet. 

“From Klee,” Albedo said shortly, passing the flower to him whilst looking at his feet. 

He turned quickly, beginning to walk away before Kaeya could even thank him (her). An inexplicable discomfort rose in his chest, but he didn't want to dwell on it. All Albedo knew for sure was that he didn't want to be mistaken for a different intention.

As much as he and Kaeya had agreed on a certain arrangement between them, it was never in Albedo’s plans to fall in love, anyway. 

Albedo scrunched his eyebrows together. 

It was probably normal to feel some trepidation about it. 

But in writing, it always read with a blasé sort of indifference, if not, it was glorified as something like the pinnacle of pleasure. 

And yet, Albedo found it difficult to believe it was really that easy and intuitive to fit someone else's engorged genitalia in a mouth. 

The next day, when he sat down for dinner, he found it a little difficult to finish his food. Albedo stared at the banana he was having. It lay rather innocuously on the cafeteria table. But Albedo couldn't help but eye it with some wariness … 

Suddenly, a tray was set down in front of him. 

Albedo looked up, snapping out of his thoughts. “Erich?”

The knight smiled in greeting, sitting down across him. “Good evening, Captain.”

For Albedo, it was rare to have company at mealtimes. Even if it was his Investigation Team or his alchemy students. They usually only approach him if it had something to do with work. 

“Can I help?” Albedo asked, thinking back on the work week. Was there an issue he might have overlooked? “Do the survey results tally with the last set we collected?”

“Of course,” Erich assured. “We were very thorough with the checking.”

“That's … thank you for doing a good job,” Albedo scratched the side of his face as he scrambled to figure out why Erich was here. “Did you want to talk about our bi-annual Dragonspine trip? It should be in a few weeks …”

“I know, Captain.”

“Oh, then …” Albedo was out of ideas now. “Is there something else?”

“Something else?” the knight laughed. “Why, I just happened to see you sitting by yourself and thought to join you for a meal!”

Albedo looked down at his empty tray and clean plate. “But I’ve finished my dinner.”

“You still have that banana,” Erich pointed with his fork. 

Albedo turned his head away. “I’ll … be saving that for later.”

“Staying up late tonight?”

“I suppose …”

“For work?” 

Albedo hesitated a little. “No, not really.”

“Klee?”

“Ah, no, she's with Noelle.”

“Care to join me and the other guys at the tavern, then?” Erich leaned forward, seeming much too enthusiastic. Albedo couldn't imagine himself someone much sought-after for something like a night out. 

“I have an appointment, actually,” Albedo held the sides of his tray. “So I really should get going.”

“An evening appointment that's not work-related or Klee,” Erich mused aloud. “Interesting.”

“I really ought to get going.”

Albedo stood from his seat, taking his tray with him. 

“Oh, Captain, you left your banana.”

Albedo almost dropped his tray. “I - I’m not so hungry. Please have it for yourself.”

He almost ran his way back to his room, his heart in his mouth. What just happened there? 

Did he let on more than he intended? 

And in the first place, why did Erich approach him out of the blue anyway? 

When Kaeya eventually knocked on his door, Albedo jumped at the sound, thoughts disrupted. He stumbled over to unlock it quickly, clumsily. When the door swung open, Albedo fell through it, catching himself against a taller figure. A minty, woody scent enveloped him.

“That eager to see me?” 

Looking up, he saw Kaeya grinning at him. At this point, Albedo shouldn't be embarrassed at their proximity, but he still found himself blushing. 

Albedo pulled away quickly. “Um.”

Kaeya laughed. “May I come in?”

Nodding, Albedo stepped aside for Kaeya to enter. When the door closed and he found himself in the dim candlelight of the room with Kaeya once again, Albedo clasped his hands awkwardly together. He would have liked more time to mentally prepare (even though he couldn't stop thinking about it the whole week).

“You seem tense,” Kaeya first remarked. “Did something happen?”

Albedo thought back at dinner. Probably not … He shook his head. 

“Are you then anxious about tonight?”

Albedo hesitated, but eventually gave a small nod. 

“I know you did raise a suggestion last week,” Kaeya said slowly, observing his face. “But you can take that off the table anytime.”

“No, no,” Albedo was quick to correct, somewhat surprising himself. “I … I do want to try … oral sex with you.”

He could feel his face burning, but it wasn't as difficult to say as he thought. Although, Albedo could still be a little more honest. Pushing himself, he tried to elaborate on his concerns. 

“It's just that I’m not sure I’m ready …”

Albedo glanced apprehensively at the other man, only a few feet away from him in his tiny room. But Kaeya only faced him with a kind smile. 

“Well, we have a few options here. We could postpone tonight's session, or ease you into it, or … I could perform it on you, tonight,” Kaeya wriggled his eyebrows a little. “I’m not a bad hand - or mouth at it, I don't think.”

Albedo let out a small sigh, some anxiety fading from him as he found his lips curling into a smile. “The third option, please.”

“Perfect. Come here.”

Albedo padded over, and gave his hand when Kaeya extended his. “We can start off with a nice massage to ease that tension. What do you think?” 

Already distracted by the way Kaeya was gently holding his hand, his voice was soft as he replied. “I’d … like that.”

Soon, Albedo was lying naked on his own bed, facing his pillows. He didn't think he could get used to it - Kaeya's intense staring. Even if he couldn't quite turn his head all the way around to see it, he could feel his gaze. Albedo squeezed the pillow under him, feeling embarrassed. “Kaeya?”

“Don't mind me,” Kaeya answered, running a single finger up his spine and causing Albedo to tremble slightly. “Your skin is so beautiful.”

Albedo buried his face into the pillow. Before he started this arrangement with Kaeya, he didn't think anyone had looked at him in such a way. At once, a familiar fire was stoked in him, causing his fingers to curl into the sheets.

He felt a hand gently brush his hair aside, allowing Kaeya's fingers more access to his shoulders. He began there first - kneading slowly. 

“Tell me if you want me to adjust the pressure,” Kaeya leaned down to say in his ear. In response, Albedo blushed, and nodded into his pillow. 

Kaeya's hands now travelled to his upper back, kneading slow, deliberate circles. Albedo sighed involuntarily, finally turning his head to the side before he could suffocate. As Kaeya travelled down, Albedo wanted to tell him about the minor burn on his left arm from yesterday, but Kaeya somehow managed to avoid it anyway, kneading everywhere else. 

Then, his hands came to the small of his back. And there, when Kaeya’s palms shifted into position, Albedo realised with surprise how large they were. So expansive were his hands that his fingers could easily curl around at his waist. 

And give him a little squeeze. 

Albedo yelped softly. The fire in him suddenly jumping. Behind, a low chuckle sounded, which only added to the growing flames. Soothing circles soon became a little hungrier, a little greedier, grasping at his skin, his flesh. 

Beneath him, he could feel an unmistakable hardness against the sheets. 

“K - Kaeya …” Albedo exhaled, fidgeting. He tried to shift himself into a more comfortable position, but firm hands held him down. 

“Just relax,” Kaeya cooed, with zero intention of allowing him to. 

Then, his hands travelled lower still, and Albedo couldn't help but try to turn over in his embarrassment. 

“Stay still,” Kaeya said, giving him a small pinch behind. 

Albedo buried his voice into the pillow again, letting Kaeya have his way with him. Greedy hands felt him all over, squeezing him, grasping at his flesh … And yet, and yet … 

A moan escaped him when he shifted slightly, the friction beneath him sending sparks of pleasure through his body. 

The fact that this even aroused him … 

Finally, Kaeya stopped his ministrations, flipping him around in one movement. Now that he was facing him, Albedo could see a proud smile, accompanied by a gleaming eye darkening with lust. 

“Enjoyed that, darling?”

Without thinking, Albedo found himself reaching up, reaching for Kaeya. Perhaps he just wanted an excuse not to answer, but in any case, he was rewarded with a hungry, impatient kiss. 

Albedo arched into it, breathless moans leaving his mouth when Kaeya's lips kissed down his jaw, his neck, his chest. It burned everywhere Kaeya's lips touched. He felt like he was going to lose himself.

A finger trailed up the length of Albedo's arousal, causing his breath to hitch. Through his watery vision, he could just about make out Kaeya staring at his tip, a bud of precum forming, trickling down his length. 

Kaeya licked his lips. 

His single eye looked up to meet Albedo's staring as he moved closer. He could feel Kaeya's breath on him. 

And then, he paused, gaze fixed on Albedo. 

“Please …”

A plea, tumbling out from a slipping control. 

“Please, what?”

“P - Please … make me feel good …”

Kaeya's lips curled into a satisfied smile, and then he closed the distance. Slowly, intentionally, he traced up his length with his tongue, lapping up his precum. The sensation alone was enough to make him tremble.  

He murmured low against him. “Going to have a taste.”

At once, a sudden heat enveloped him. Albedo cried aloud, gasping when he saw that Kaeya had taken him whole at once. 

“Kaeya … I - !”

Wet lips lifted up his length, leaving his arousal glistening with saliva, before it disappeared once again inside Kaeya's mouth. It took everything in Albedo not to reach out and grab fistfuls of Kaeya's hair. He half-wanted him to pause - the sensation was almost too overwhelming - but at the same time, it felt so unbelievably good he never wanted Kaeya to stop.

Ever so often, Albedo's eyes would squeeze shut, lost in the feeling of a soft and hot tongue on the underside of his arousal, rubbing up and down his length as Kaeya assumed a rhythm. He felt much too sensitive - Kaeya was so wet and all searing heat between his legs, melting all coherent thought. When his eyes did open to gaze at the man making him feel this way, it really did seem like Kaeya was more devouring him rather than merely “having a taste”. 

He felt like prey under a darkened silver-indigo eye, filled with a lustful, ravenous hunger. 

Archons, Albedo thought. He was losing it. He was making Kaeya do something that appeared so … so … obscene, and yet, he still looked to be enjoying it this much. 

Albedo didn't have time to be embarrassed when Kaeya suddenly increased his speed, sucking on him every time he came down on him and burying Albedo deep in his mouth. He found himself moaning loudly, unable to string a full sentence but disjointed words and breathy keens of Kaeya's name. Behind him, his fingernails dug into a soft pillow. 

“K - Kaeya - I think I’m - !”

Albedo’s legs were trembling, he was close. He couldn't help his squirming. But firm hands held his hips in place while a hot mouth bobbed up and down at a faster pace still, hellbent on bringing him to the edge. Every move Kaeya made was deliberate, purposeful, all working towards a single goal of making Albedo come undone. Some panic rose in him when he realised he couldn't stop himself from falling. 

“I - I really can't - Kaeya!”

He tried to get away, but his efforts were futile. With a broken cry, Albedo squeezed his thighs, spilling only into Kaeya's mouth in a toe-curling orgasm. Seeing this, Kaeya hummed in approval around him, the vibrations making him shudder as his torso spasmed from the seemingly never-ending pleasure overtaking his body. 

Albedo didn't know he could orgasm this long. He must have been trembling all over forever. But when he finally did come down from the high, he could register a new sensation - Kaeya lapping up the remains of him on his softening length. He was spasming again, and would have disrupted Kaeya if it weren't from his hands pinning his hips down. He felt so oversensitive. He didn't know oral sex could feel this way. 

Finally, Kaeya withdrew from him, tongue and fingers cleaning the corners of his mouth. 

“Delicious,” he rasped, smiling. 

Albedo blushed, feeling his neck and face turn hot. Kaeya really did swallow everything … Was he telling the truth? Albedo couldn't imagine that tasting delicious. His eyes involuntarily travelled down. Now that Kaeya was sitting a little further from him, Albedo could just about make out the outline of a tent in his pants. He blushed even more. 

Albedo had known for some time now. Whenever Kaeya touched him, he got this way too. He swallowed. Albedo started this arrangement for himself, and Kaeya always respected that. But still …

He tried to sit up now, and seeing this, Kaeya lent him some help, one hand supporting his back. The moment his feet touched the ground however, Albedo realised he was going to have some difficulty standing. 

“Um …” he began. “I’ll clean up later.”

Kaeya laughed, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “Too intense just now? Don't look embarrassed, it's endearing.”

He got up to find the bucket, returning with a wet cloth. Albedo was still sensitive and trembled wherever the cloth ran over him, but Kaeya was being as gentle as he could.

Meticulously mindful of his actions.  

And observant and thoughtful of Albedo. 

Maybe needlessly so. 

A strange feeling rose in him. A warm softness, but different from the usual heat that consumed him whenever Kaeya was touching him.

Albedo reached for his pen and journal on his bedside. 

Session 3, XXXX

Oral sex - by means of fellatio specifically, is an effective means of reaching sexual climax. 

Due to the nature of the act, fellatio seems to be self-sacrificing, with the party performing it seeming to gain no benefit … 

Although Kaeya the partner looked pleased bringing me the subject to orgasm. Perhaps Kaeya as a lover was particularly attentive and giving in personality. 

“Albedo?”

Albedo looked up, pausing. 

“Writing in your journal?” Kaeya came to him, about done with adjusting his own clothes. 

“Mm.”

“One more thing. Almost forgot. Here's some cooling cream for your burn.”

Albedo watched with surprise as Kaeya produced a small jar from his coat, before placing it on the bedside table. 

“How did you … ?”

“Noticed it yesterday when you handed me that Calla lily.”

The pen in Albedo's hand quivered slightly. Oh. 

“Be careful, alright?”

He recalled an earlier conversation he had with Kaeya about falling in love. He might have found an answer. 

Perhaps, it's not entirely the other person's fault … 

Perhaps, it was just too easy to fall in love with Kaeya.

More … observation needed.

Chapter Text

When Kaeya laughed, he laughed big and hearty - ostensibly thoroughly amused, and without a single care in the world. This was especially the case around company, like now. 

A distance away from their table at Good Hunter, Kaeya was surrounded by some knights, chatting boisterously about some miscellaneous topic. Albedo wasn't so much interested in the topic as he was with how Kaeya looked. The picture perfect image of happiness. 

“Bedo?”

At Klee's voice, Albedo was drawn back to their table and his little sister sitting across him. Her head tilted in question. “Are you okay?”

Some guilt rose in him. Here he was at their promised lunch together and he was getting distracted. “Sorry, Klee. I’m fine. How's the honey roast?”

“Really good!” 

Another round of laughter erupted from the group at the town square. This time, Klee was looking over too. 

“Oh, it’s Kaeya!” she exclaimed. Then, the girl raised her hand in an excited wave. “Kaeyaaa!”

He saw Kaeya's head turn, eye finding Klee. He raised a hand to wave in return too. 

And then, his eye travelled, landing on him. 

A mouth opened in mild surprise transformed into a wide grin. “Albedo!”

That turned a few heads from the knights.

Embarrassed at his name being called out so suddenly, Albedo only managed a small wave before he turned back to his food, pretending to be rather busy stabbing the brussel sprouts on his plate with his fork. 

Eventually, the group did leave the square. And Klee turned herself back to face him again. She was giggling. 

“Are you that happy to see Kaeya?” he murmured. 

“That's because he’s fun to be around!” Klee replied cheerily. 

“Well, I can see that,” Albedo could agree. Life of the party and everything. “Looks like he's always in a good mood, huh?”

“But you know what, Bedo?” Klee asked through a mouthful of roast. 

“What? And don't speak while you're chewing.”

Klee swallowed her food, continuing with a smile. “I think Kaeya looked the happiest when he was calling out to you!”

Albedo smiled, shaking his head. “You have quite the imagination.”

“I do think so!”

“Really, now.”

“Something about his smile!”

Albedo recalled the wide grin Kaeya flashed. It did seem sincere, almost involuntary. 

What if, like all the other times he had observed, Kaeya’s laughter around others was merely a performance? What if that grin was the most genuine expression he let show today? 

Albedo’s fork paused, mid-massacre of a brussel sprout. 

But so what? They were only colleagues. 

Yes, and despite everything they did. 

They were only colleagues. 

That was the agreement, after all. 

So now, Albedo began to wonder how Kaeya would look with someone he truly loved - that is, if he wasn't so hellbent on not committing to a special someone else. 

“I mean I’m quite upfront about the fact that I’m not looking for a committed relationship with my partners.”

There must be a reason for it, right? Some sort of personal principle or philosophy perhaps? It stirred Albedo's curiosity. 

He was still thinking about it at work. 

But Albedo wouldn't say it was exactly his fault this time. He and his Investigation Team had been swift and effective clearing out a ruin where some Treasure Hoarders had holed up in. So, when it came time for a well-deserved break, he couldn't help but listen in on some of the conversations around him. 

In particular, a group of his knights huddling nearby caught his attention. 

“I think Kaeya would prefer …”

“No, that's too obvious!”

“Didn't Kaeya mention once that …”

Albedo found himself craning his neck. But the crackling of a flame and the noise of surrounding conversations were preventing him from fully making out what they were discussing. He only recognised those knights as part of Kaeya's regular drinking party. They seem to know him well enough. Perhaps he could go over and ask if they knew anything about Kaeya's preference for staying … 

“Captain?”

His head snapped up at the sudden interruption of his thoughts. The interloper in question - Erich. 

He was holding out a stick of salted fish. “Fancy some?”

Albedo looked at the skewered thing, still smoking from the fire. It seemed freshly grilled. “Thank you.”

After Albedo took the skewer, Erich made himself comfortable on the ground next to him. “How’s the fish?”

Albedo bit into it, the salt immediately hitting his tongue. “A little heavy-handed with the seasoning …”

“Ah, that's Hoffer,” Erich pointed to another fire nearby. “And look, he’s with Cole.”

“He seems angry.”

“Distracted, more like,” Erich laughed before turning to him. “Kinda like you just now.”

Albedo blinked at him. Was it that obvious?

“Saw you looking over at that group intently.”

It was. 

Albedo kept his eyes on his fish now. “I was just curious.”

“About?”

Seconds ticked by. And Albedo hoped he’d get the hint. 

“Captain Kaeya?”

He almost dropped his skewer. 

Erich laughed again, taking too much delight in Albedo’s surprise in his opinion. 

“I can hear them too, you know. What do you wish answered about Captain Kaeya?”

Albedo fiddled with the stick, warring with his own curiosity. On the one hand, he didn't really want to overshare with Erich, but on the other, there was a burning question that had been on his mind. 

“Has Kaeya ever been in love?”

“Maybe. Once upon a time. Who knows?”

Erich raised an eyebrow. “In love, huh? Why do you ask?”

Albedo munched on his fish in response. 

“Alright, I can take a hint. Well, I don't know about that kind of love, but we all know Captain Kaeya was closest to Master Diluc before their fallout.”

Diluc. The name rang in his mind like a fog-clearing bell. Like the shining missing piece of a puzzle. Right. 

Albedo stood up now, tossing the skewer into the flames. He began to walk away. 

“Hope that helps!”

Albedo’s pen tapped against a white page. He was having trouble concentrating on the meeting. 

Looking around him, everyone seemed to be following along fine, however. But it's probably because they didn't lie in bed awake all night just speculating about a thousand conjectures as to how one person might decide to never enter a committed relationship.

Not Albedo’s smartest decision. Now all the furniture in his field of vision was beginning to meld together.

“Hm, we’re looking at about a week out then. Albedo?”

Oh no. 

He started, staring blankly at Jean, who - now that he thought about it - looked equally as pressed for sleep as he must seem. But she still mustered up her efforts for a tired smile. 

“According to your estimations, will these supplies be enough for a squadron of about 20 recruits in Dragonspine?”

To his right, Eula passed a piece of paper from the centre of the table. Albedo hastily looked over the figures. 

“Uh, yes,” he nodded, handing the paper back to Jean. “Although the rations could be increased by another ten percent in case of emergencies.”

“Thank you,” Jean said, then turning to Kaeya sitting across the table from him.

“What’s another ten percent in weight? More training for the knights. And besides,” he looked at Albedo now, grinning, “who would dare question the expert opinion of the Kreideprinz?”

Albedo wasn't expecting another sudden address. “Captain Kaeya, please.”

“Please, what?” The Cavalry Captain didn't miss a beat, his grin turning devious. 

Albedo's heart almost stopped, his mind immediately going into other places. “W - What do you mean?”

“Well, if you insist, I could clarify later,” Kaeya laughed. “But since you're wide awake now, why don't we finish the meeting first?”

At this moment, Albedo registered the stares of everyone else in the meeting room, some curious, some concerned, and some downright annoyed at the disruption of their exchange - Hertha for one, looked like she was about to murder them. Awkwardly, he murmured an apology and looked back at his blank page. 

Jean cleared her throat. “Let's move on.”

With a prickly hyperawareness, Albedo listened to the rest of the meeting with razor-sharp focus, even finally managing to fill the page on his notebook. When the meeting drew to a close, Albedo breathed a sigh of relief. It ended uneventfully. 

But of course, the thought came too soon. 

As the other Captains filed out of the room, someone caught his sleeve, causing Albedo to turn in surprise. 

“Kaeya?”

“No more ‘Captain’ now?”

His hand moved faster than he could even think about it, whacking Kaeya over the head with his notebook. “Don't be smart with me. What were you thinking?”

“Only of waking you,” Kaeya rubbed his head, although his smile didn't look apologetic in the least. “You seemed out of it.”

“That's …” true, he finished in his mind. But outwardly, he was shaking his head. “That's nothing of concern.”

“Really? I’d be concerned if Mondstadt’s Chief Alchemist of all people had trouble concentrating during a meeting.”

Albedo sighed, looking off to the side. “I … just had some difficulty falling asleep last night.”

Thinking about why you refuse to let yourself fall in love. 

Faintly, he registered that the meeting door had just closed behind him. Evidently, they were the only two left. 

Alone. 

Kaeya rubbed his chin. “Hm.”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Albedo asked now. 

“Actually, there is,” Kaeya changed his tone, softer now. “About our private meeting tomorrow night, we might have to postpone it.”

“Oh.”

“Apologies, there's just a small party I’ve suddenly been invited to and … it's a special circumstance,” Kaeya gave a small laugh. “You’re more than welcome to join if you like. We’ll be at Angel’s Share.”

Angel’s Share. Albedo was transported back to last night's musings. More specifically, a certain redhead that featured in his thoughts came to mind … 

“Um, Kaeya.”

“Hmm?”

“The other day, when you mentioned how falling in love is a personal fault?”

“What about?”

“Is … Diluc the reason?”

Maybe Albedo shouldn't have asked Kaeya point blank like that. But the lack of sleep may have also caused the lack of judgement there. And it was too late to take it back. 

He watched Kaeya's smile disappear like it was never there. 

Much too late. 

“Huh. Bit of a loaded question, don't you think?”

Albedo looked down. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, and then met Kaeya's eye again. “But I have to know.”

“Why?”

Albedo paused here. Because he had been thinking about it all night? Because the idea had been bothering him for almost a week? Why, indeed. 

“I …” Albedo hesitated. “I’m just struggling to understand how you arrived at such a belief.”

Kaeya laughed, short and bitter. “When you fall in love, you entrust your feelings to someone else. And they tend to do with them however they like.”

Albedo was silent. 

“I just have too much self-respect for that.”

So, that's what Kaeya thought falling in love was? Almost like a form of abuse? The logic didn't sit quite right with Albedo. “I’m not sure if it's … disrespectful to yourself to fall in love with someone. It just means you care a lot about them …”

“What's the difference if the result is all the same?”

“Which is?”

At his sides, Kaeya's hands curled into fists. “Opening yourself up to being hurt.”

There it was. “So, you're afraid, Kaeya.”

Kaeya laughed again, although a harsher sound now, almost derisive. “Are you going to counsel me, Kreideprinz? Have you ever been in love?”

“No, but -”

“Yet you assume to know all about love - no, all about me.”

“I - I’m just concerned about you,” Albedo stammered in a sudden rising panic, words tumbling out of his mouth.

“Save it,” Kaeya snapped. “Please don't mistake our relationship. We’re not that close; we’re just colleagues.”

Right. 

They were only colleagues. 

But somehow, something about the bluntness of it cut when it came from Kaeya. Albedo took a step back. “I’m sorry.”

There was a brief moment of silence. 

“No, I -” Kaeya seemed conflicted, and for once, short of words. Eventually, he let out a frustrated sigh. “I apologise. I’ll … see you.”

Quickly, the Cavalry Captain strode past him and out of the room. At the sound of the door closing once more, Albedo finally collapsed into a chair. 

He understood that he and Kaeya had just gotten into an argument, and about something deeply personal to the Cavalry Captain too. It probably was natural that he reacted with such anger … 

So, why did Albedo keep pushing it? 

It was odd for Albedo to be confrontational in any way. It was already strange for him to prolong any sort of social interaction. In another scenario, with another person, he would have dropped the conversation and walked away. But something about Kaeya's views and the way he talked to him upset him too. 

Albedo raised a hand to his chest. 

And it hurt him from inside. 

Albedo found it rather odd to be sitting alone in his room at night. 

Usually, at this time of the week, at this hour, he’d be with a certain someone. 

He stared at his open journal on the bedside table. Candlelight flickered across an expanse of white. Albedo took a deep breath.

Well, he had no partner for tonight, so he'd just have to rely on himself. 

Lying on his back, Albedo shrugged off his shorts and leggings. Next, his gloves came off. And then, bare fingers inched closer downwards, gently massaging himself. He tried to concentrate on the sensations, and tried to mimic someone's movements the way he remembered … 

It took some time but Albedo eventually managed to stroke himself to a hardness. He kept at it until he felt a little more relaxed, and then reached for the lubricant. 

It felt cold when he poured it on his hands. Bracing himself, he reached even lower, spreading the smooth concoction over his skin. 

Now came the most difficult part.

Albedo inserted two fingers immediately. It wasn't his first time doing this, but the sensation still stung. It almost made him feel like pulling out. But he forced himself to keep them inside, taking deep breaths to manage the pain. Finally, when it subsided somewhat, he began to move them. 

“That's right, steady motions now.”

Albedo moved them in and out, keeping to a rhythm.

“Curl your fingers upwards. That's right. That's it.”

Following the echoes of a voice in his mind, Albedo began to move a little faster, trying to reach a little deeper. And yet, the elusive spot was nowhere to be found. 

Perhaps he needed more. Albedo inserted a third finger, and gasped at the sudden stinging pain. He was aware that he might be going too fast. He might be too impatient. 

But that night, Albedo had taken four. 

Tears forming at the corners of his eyes, Albedo thrusted into himself, rougher, faster, almost punishingly so. He kept at it until his arm ached and his fingers cramped. But there was little to no effect. His arousal was weak and there were tears now streaming down his cheeks. 

Finally, Albedo pulled his fingers out in frustration, letting out one last whine of pain as they left him. 

Darn it, he might have hurt himself. 

He wiped away the tears as a stark loneliness began to set in. What was he doing? Albedo looked at his own sullied hands. He definitely wasn't thinking straight. He had enough self-awareness left to realise that. And the reasons for his clouded mind might be multiple … although he was pretty sure that it mostly centred on one person. 

Kaeya Alberich. 

Albedo washed up quickly. He needed some air. 

The night breeze was cold and bracing at this time of the year. But just what Albedo needed for his walk. He didn't quite have a plan beyond heading towards the townsquare for now. 

On his way there, however, a voice from behind called him. 

Turning around, he saw Erich running up to him with a grin. 

“Captain!”

“Um. Good evening,” Albedo turned back around as he caught up. 

“Good evening, are you - wait. Are you limping?”

“No.” Was he? Albedo tried to adjust his gait.

“Did you hurt yourself anywhere?”

“No.”

“Alright then,” Erich scratched his head. “Just uh, continue to take care of yourself then.”

“Thank you,” Albedo looked away. He had hoped for a quiet time to collect his thoughts. Perhaps this was a sign that he should head back.

“Where are you going?”

“Probably back to my room,” Albedo said, his footsteps coming to a stop. 

Erich looked a little confused. “Really? I’m heading to the party. You know the one they were talking about - I thought you were going too.”

“I don't really like parties.”

“But it's a birthday party. For Captain Kaeya,” Erich smiled. “And you like Captain Kaeya, don't you?”

Albedo froze. A birthday party? Kaeya's birthday party? And what did Erich mean by … 

Here, the knight broke into laughter. “Oh, your expression is priceless, Captain. I mean, everyone likes Captain Kaeya so I’m not surprised you seem to - hey, wait!”

Nevermind all that. It was Kaeya's birthday? Albedo was brisk walking - no - running towards the Angel’s Share. 

If he wasn't thinking straight before, Albedo was definitely still not thinking straight now. In fact, his muddled mind might have gotten worse. He only just realised when he was at the door of the tavern that he didn't even have a present. 

Although, do just-colleagues gift birthday presents to each other?

He flung open the door, and a rush of hot air hit him immediately. 

Albedo hadn't been to very many birthday parties and didn't quite know what to expect from one celebrating Mondstadt's Cavalry Captain, but he was pretty sure it shouldn't involve said Captain rolling on the floor and clutching at the collar of Dawn Winery's owner in a heated brawl as onlookers stood aside in a morbidly fearful curiosity.

Erich came up behind Albedo just then, also taking in the scene before them in a mixture of wonder and apprehension. “Woah. That's not part of the celebrations, is it?”

“Get off! You’re out of your mind!” Diluc was shoving roughly.

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do!” Kaeya roared, red-faced from his anger and possibly a dozen drinks. “He was right - I cared about you, but you couldn't give a rat’s ass how I felt -”

Nope. That should definitely not be happening. 

Albedo marched over quickly, grabbing two mugs from a table nearby, and hurling whatever's inside at the pair. 

Diluc was immediately spluttering. 

Tossing the mugs aside, Albedo now grabbed Kaeya by his furs and yanked him off with as much force as he could muster. Thankfully, Kaeya was just as much taken by surprise as Diluc to come off rather easily. He sat on the floor, furious still, but no longer trying to actively commit homicide. 

“Who the fuck -”

“Wake up!” Albedo slapped him across the face so swiftly he surprised even himself. 

“Albedo …?” Kaeya now seemed to have registered what was going on. 

“We’re leaving,” Albedo said firmly. “You need to get cleaned up.”

To add to his surprise, Kaeya didn't protest when Albedo helped him up. He took this opportunity to push him towards the door before anyone could. 

Even Erich sidestepped out of the way without comment, and thankfully remained silent as he and Kaeya finally left the premises. 

“Where are we going?” Kaeya murmured. 

Albedo made the decision without much thinking. “My room.”

He knew it wasn't completely rational. 

“You’re limping,” Kaeya muttered, reaching out to hold Albedo by the elbow. “Are you hurt?”

“Kaeya …” Albedo fidgeted in his hold, but ultimately decided against fighting him off. With a resigned sigh, he let Kaeya help him back to his room as if he wasn't the one three sheets to the wind and stumbling over every five steps.

Fortunately, a Captain’s quarters was furnished with an adjoining bathroom. 

Albedo about shoved Kaeya into his, lit a candle, and then closed the door on him. 

“Wash up,” he told Kaeya through the door. 

For a moment, Albedo was worried that Kaeya was so drunk he hadn't heard him, or had passed out on the floor given the silence after. But eventually, just before he was about to open the door, he heard the sound of running water. 

Albedo waited on his bed, a thousand thoughts running through his mind. He didn't know how Kaeya and Diluc got into that fight earlier, but he did recognise that Kaeya had referred to him and their argument yesterday during the brawl. 

It seemed like Albedo wasn't the only one still affected by that moment. 

Albedo only got up from the bed when the bathroom door opened. 

“What happened to your shirt?” Albedo asked upon being faced with Kaeya's bare torso. 

Kaeya held his top in a hand. “What do you think happened to it?”

Oh right. Albedo had splashed them. 

“Sorry.”

“No,” Kaeya sighed, crossing the room to drape the soiled clothes over his chair. “I needed that. Thank you.”

Another long silence fell over them. Albedo let it drag until he could no longer wait it out and had to address the elephant in the room. 

“Why were you and Diluc fighting?”

Kaeya sat on the chair, sighing deeply. “It probably started when I was about to walk out with someone … and Diluc made an insufferably self-righteous remark in passing. And I … I couldn't let it go.”

Albedo could imagine it. Kaeya about to head out with someone hanging off his arm, and Diluc commenting on it … Strangely, he found himself fixated on the thought of Kaeya almost having gone back with another person. 

Other than him. 

Technically, they never contractually agreed to be mutually exclusive in their arrangement. 

But Albedo still … wasn't sure how he felt about it. 

“You're quiet,” Kaeya said now, looking straight at him. “Are you silently judging me and my lack of desire for any close relationships?”

“No,” Albedo responded. 

“Then, are you perhaps perturbed by my casual ones?”

“No,” he responded again, this time, a little too quickly. 

Kaeya laughed, although there wasn't any humour in it. “Diluc could learn a thing or two from you. It's nobody's business who I decide to see for a quick fuck.”

Albedo felt his chest tighten. Kaeya was a lot more crass when he had alcohol in his system. It made Albedo feel a whole mixture of emotions he couldn't even begin to describe. His hands clenched by his sides. 

“But if you wanted a quick fuck, you could look for me.”

Albedo's heart was pounding. 

Did he really just say that? 

By the looks of Kaeya's shocked expression, yes he did. 

Albedo really wasn't sure why or how he managed to say something like that, but it was too late to take back his words now. Something in the air shifted, and the room was instantly ten degrees warmer, or colder, or both, Albedo couldn't decide. He only knew that goosebumps prickled at his skin when Kaeya's expression darkened dangerously, looking at him. 

“What if I said I wanted it now?” Kaeya asked in a low, tense voice, like every muscle in his body was straining. 

At the intensity of his gaze, even from halfway across the room, Albedo found himself flushing, making him feel like he should hide away. But a surge of adrenaline spurred him on. “You’re welcome to it.”

Kaeya stood from the chair and advanced towards Albedo. Feeling much like cornered prey, Albedo fell back on the bed, his knees having given way. 

“I’m not sober,” Kaeya warned once he had reached the foot of the bed, his shadow falling across Albedo's frame. “You can still say no.”

Albedo bit his lip, glancing to his open notebook on the beside table. His mind was made up. “It's … it's for my personal research too, so please …”

“Please, what?”

“Please … do as you will with me,” Albedo breathed. 

Immediately, two hands grasped Albedo’s cheeks, pulling him to Kaeya so he could seal his lips with his own in a searing kiss. Unlike all the other times before, this one lacked gentleness, and felt more like Kaeya was claiming him and his every breath completely. Tasting the bitter notes of alcohol on Kaeya's tongue, Albedo thought he might become drunk on it too. 

The next thing he knew, he was being manoeuvred around to lie flat on his bed. He couldn't help but whine slightly at the thought of being manhandled to Kaeya's liking. The discovery of his own excitement made Albedo tremble. 

And then, Kaeya paused, eyeing something else just beside him. Albedo followed his gaze to a certain glass bottle he forgot to put away. 

“You were touching yourself,” Kaeya stated. And Albedo didn't refute him. 

“Did you cum?”

“N - no.”

Kaeya bowed his head, kissing Albedo's neck. He swore he could feel a smile on his lips. 

“No wonder you're so pent up,” Kaeya murmured against his skin as he reached below to palm Albedo's arousal through his shorts. His lips contorted into an open-mouthed moan at the roughness of his movements. “If you wanted it so badly, you could have told me you wanted to be my birthday present.”

Albedo flushed a deeper red than before at the thought. Kaeya's words tickled a part of his mind he never knew existed. A part that made him want to lie down for Kaeya, relinquish all control, and let him do whatever he wanted. Albedo moaned when Kaeya nibbled on his earlobe. 

“Don't worry. Now that I’m here,” he whispered, “I’ll make you cum. I guarantee it.”

The same rough hands took his clothes apart, making quick work of them as he undid Albedo's top and tossed aside his shorts and leggings. Albedo had never let Kaeya undress him before, and instead of feeling exposed, he was breathless at the thought of being unwrapped like a present for him … 

Archons, Albedo thought dazedly, now his mind was playing fantasies. This must be a sure sign he was losing it. 

Kaeya pushed up a leg while another hand expertly opened the bottle beside him and drizzled a good amount on his opening messily. Albedo flinched at the coldness of it, but also at the slight sting … 

When Kaeya took off his gloves and touched one finger to his entrance, that was when Albedo yelped, nearly jumping out of his skin. 

It wasn't hard to figure out why. Albedo felt like cowering in embarrassment as Kaeya registered what happened.

“You've hurt yourself,” he murmured. “So that's why you were limping.”

Kaeya’s eye looked like molten lava. “But you still want to cum, don't you?”

Albedo nodded, but Kaeya hadn't yet moved. He swallowed, finding his voice. “Yes …” he said. 

Kaeya leaned down and kissed him again, hands running all over his body. He only pulled away to look at Albedo in his entirety, as if drinking in the sight of him. And what a mess he must have looked. 

Albedo trembled when Kaeya traced a finger up his leaking arousal, tapping it on its head. “Well, your pretty cock is just begging to be touched. How about I make you cum from here?”

“Y - yes,” Albedo stammered as his arousal - his cock twitched against him. 

Kaeya wrapped his hands around him, applying the perfect amount of pressure before beginning to stroke him roughly. Something Albedo said tonight had definitely set Kaeya off. Or maybe it was a string of things. Whatever the case, Albedo found himself shaking, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the intensity of Kaeya's movements. And yet, he could feel his pleasure building at an alarming rate. 

But then, all of a sudden, Kaeya stopped, making Albedo keen. He looked down, vision focusing slowly as Kaeya fumbled with something, and then widened his eyes when another heat touched his arousal. 

Kaeya’s heat, Albedo's mind registered just barely short of disintegrating. Kaeya's cock. 

The taller man leaned over Albedo, arms sliding behind his figure to pull him close. 

“I can get us both off without hurting you,” he breathed into his ear. “But only if you want it.”

Albedo could feel Kaeya's hardness against him. This was the first time he had ever acted on it, after all the other times of solely focusing on Albedo's pleasure. The alcohol clouding his mind tonight must be what finally made him lose his inhibitions. But even now, Kaeya was still asking him …

“Okay,” Albedo whispered back. “I - I trust you.”

That was all Kaeya needed to hear. 

He pulled him up to a sitting position, thighs draped over his. Instinctively, Albedo’s arms wrapped around Kaeya as his lower body was pressed against his. Kaeya sighed at the sensation. 

“Do you know how hard you make me every time?” he asked, taking one hand from Albedo. “Here, touch for yourself.”

Guiding his hand, Albedo's fingers found both Kaeya and his own arousals, flushed against each other. He let out a soft moan, feeling up Kaeya's cock. It was larger, slightly curved, and leaked more copious amounts of precum from its red tip, dripping down onto Albedo's. It seemed Albedo wasn't the only one who was pent up. Heat rushed into his brain when he registered Kaeya was saying he got him that way. 

“Do you understand, now?” Kaeya breathed, another hand running up and down his side. “How you make me feel?”

Albedo nodded between them, wrapping his fingers around more firmly. 

“What do you want to do, darling?” Kaeya asked in a low voice. 

“- Cum … M - make us cum together …”

Kaeya's hand joined Albedo's, enveloping it, enveloping them in a tight grip. And then, he started to move them, pumping up and down slowly, as if relishing the feeling. Kaeya's other free hand came up to Albedo's chest, thumbing over a nipple. 

“A - ah!” Albedo gasped, arching.

Kaeya increased the pace of their hands, almost matching it to the speed he stroked Albedo earlier. It was almost too easy how the pleasure built again, now with the added sensation of Kaeya's cock also rubbing against him. He couldn't stop staring at the sight, only arching away whenever Kaeya flicked a nipple or kissed his neck. 

It felt so, so good. 

Albedo was melting against Kaeya. The thought of his hand also pleasuring Kaeya burnt away in his mind and made his arousal throb. Albedo was so close, but it seemed he wasn't the only one. Their slick mixed and made loud, wet sounds as Kaeya hastened the pace still, greedily chasing after his pleasure too, his grip almost bruising. Albedo trembled, moans pouring out of his mouth uncontrollably. The sensation was too much, and he was reaching his climax … 

“K - Kaeya - Kaeya!”

Albedo's trembling turned into spasms as he came, hips bucking up into their hands as he spurted from a sensitive tip. Not long after, Kaeya also followed, spilling between them with a low growl. Albedo gasped, looking down at their stained stomachs, at Kaeya's cum still painting him in long, white ropes. 

Oh gods, that'd be in his mind for a long time. 

Kaeya pulled him into another kiss, this one a little messier, a little more spontaneous. But it left Albedo breathless all the same. When they surfaced from it, it took a while for them both to come to their senses. But Kaeya seemed to come around a little faster.

“Shit … Albedo, are you okay?”

“I - I am …” he replied, looking up at a worried expression. 

“Fuck …”

“Why are you swearing?”

Kaeya stared at him, something like a storm in his eye. His torso rose and fell quickly. “I … really lost it there.”

“Well, you weren't sober,” Albedo smiled, thinking it might lighten the mood but Kaeya only turned his face away. 

“It was dangerous - I’m sorry.”

“No, please,” Albedo quickly interjected. “Let's - let's get cleaned up, alright?”

“You go first,” Kaeya said, slowly extracting himself from Albedo. 

So, wobbling slightly, Albedo made his way into the bathroom first. He stared at himself in the mirror, taking in his dishevelled hair and stains all over his torso. He was a mess. But somehow, he thought Kaeya looked slightly worse for wear. 

Well, he did provoke Kaeya. 

He washed himself thinking about it. It surprised him what he was capable of saying around Kaeya. A lot of it came to him without thinking. 

He should talk about it with Kaeya. 

But when Albedo stepped out of his bathroom, he found himself alone. Kaeya had left, along with the clothes he had draped over his chair. 

He didn't even hear him go. Kaeya must have wanted to leave unnoticed and unhindered.

Albedo padded over to his bed and assessed the damage there. It was a wreck too. He’d have to replace his sheets. And then, his eyes travelled to his journal, still sitting opened on the bedside table. 

Session 4, XXXX

The satisfaction of sexual climax seems to be dependent on a multiplicity of different factors. Such factors are (but not exclusive to): 

• The libido of parties involved 
• The method of reaching sexual climax
• Whether or not it is reached together 

Occurring concurrently, more variables may affect the above factors themselves. It appears both our parties’ minds were influenced by different variables tonight. 

One by alcohol. 

The other by particular sentiments about Kaeya the other party seeking sexual satisfaction from another. 

More observation needed.

Chapter Text

“I’ve always been interested in you.”

Albedo blinked up at Erich, not sure if he was hearing him right. Either that, or he must have a terrible sense of humour. 

Was he missing something? 

Just a few days ago, he was picnicking with Klee at Windrise, enjoying the scent of sweet nectar in the air, carried by a gentle breeze. They indulged in handmade sandwiches and plump fruit as Klee narrated the recent eventful happenings of her life. 

Then, she landed on the topic of Kaeya's birthday. 

“I made him a card!” Klee recounted happily. “It was so pretty with the pressed dandelions - I wish you could have seen it!”

“I’m sure it was beautiful,” Albedo smiled. 

Klee giggled. “What did you gift Kaeya?” 

Nothing, although a few choice scenes came to mind when Albedo recalled that night. He didn't even realise it was Kaeya's birthday. And when he did, he didn't exactly have time to figure out a gift, what with having to break up a fight and all. 

And then later inviting Kaeya into his room, starting a whole series of chained events Albedo would have never been able to predict. 

He should really talk to Kaeya about it. There was definitely something about that night that changed them - or changed him, at the very least. New feelings he never knew he could feel, and new realisations about himself too. 

But most pressing of all, Albedo felt like he probably should discuss Kaeya's leaving. That didn't feel … okay. 

Unfortunately, the Cavalry Captain had to make himself scarce these days. Try as he might, Kaeya was nowhere to be found, and Albedo spent a good while searching. Part of him felt like he should report him missing. The only thing stopping him was how he found a small wrapped tub of ointment outside his door the morning after that night. “Apply to reduce soreness” the attached note read. 

Affectingly thoughtful as always. But it was also the last time he had heard from him … 

“Bedo?”

He cleared his throat. “I … couldn't really come up with a gift.”

“Oh, I think Kaeya likes chocolate!” Klee exclaimed. “Maybe you could get him something when he's back!”

“When he's back?”

Klee nodded. “Uh huh. He’s at Dragonspine now!”

Dragonspine? Albedo stared at the elven girl in confusion. Where did she get that? Why would Kaeya be at Dragonspine? Then, it hit him. 

“According to your estimations, will these supplies be enough for a squadron of about 20 recruits in Dragonspine?”

Last week’s meeting - Jean must have been asking about Kaeya's knights. Ever since Grandmaster Varka took most of the cavalry, Kaeya's become responsible for training the new recruits. 

Albedo rubbed his nose. He really should have been paying more attention. And if he had been more alert, maybe he would have remembered to ask Kaeya to bring back a sample of glacial water for his alchemy research. Now, he tried to recall how long Kaeya would be away. If his memory served him right …

“Hm, we’re looking at about a week out then.”

One week. He still had some time then. And he should probably figure out what he should do for their scheduled session - cancelled, of course, but perhaps he could use the time to explore something himself …

After sending Klee back to Mondstadt, Albedo finished up his own work at the alchemy laboratories quickly, before making his way to the now all-too-familiar general store. The old shopkeeper was flipping through a paper again, much too preoccupied for a greeting. 

The previous times before, Albedo would look through the regular shelves as he slowly inched his way closer to the back out of self-consciousness. Now, however, and given the empty state of the store at the moment, Albedo felt comfortable enough to head straight for the secluded corner at the back, just past a dusty curtain … 

He had seen it before but the rows upon rows of adult toys on display still struck him with surprise and wonder. That humans could apply such creativity and innovation … and all for the sake of hedonistic pleasure. But if Albedo were to be honest, he was starting to understand it. After all, and he blushed thinking about it here, every night he spent experimenting with Kaeya had been immensely enjoyable. 

Albedo stared at all the shapes and sizes. They were so diverse, with so many functions, but he had read about a specific toy that piqued his interest. His eyes scanned the shelves until he finally found it. 

The anal beads. 

His face turned redder now that he was actually looking at the toy, now that he had actually found the thing he had been thinking of buying. It was one thing to look at the other toys knowing he wasn't purchasing them, but it was another to look at something he had been thinking of trying for a while. 

Still, his hands remained at his sides. Even with the type of toy identified, there were still so many choices to choose from. There were tall, upright ones, and shorter, fatter ones. There were beads linked by string, and beads sculpted on an attaching rod. Albedo's heart thudded as he reached out towards a modestly-sized toy made of pristine glass. 

It was packaged in a wooden box with a sliding lid. Albedo brought it to himself a little closer. The beads started out small at the tip, growing in size towards the base of the toy. And the craftsmanship looked decent. This might be a good starting point for him. With a deep breath, Albedo mustered the courage to close the lid on it, taking it for himself. He had spent too long being indecisive about this anyway. 

He made his way to the counter, probably flushing all the way to his ears now as he timidly passed the shopkeeper the box. But just like before, the shopkeeper never batted an eye at Albedo's purchases. 

“1000 Mora,” he said, adjusting his glasses at an inventory list. 

Albedo handed him the exact amount quickly, having already come prepared.

The shopkeeper swept it off the table, and passed the box back to Albedo. “Come again,” he muttered indifferently, before turning back to his newspaper.

“Thank you,” Albedo murmured, crushing the box against his chest as he sped towards the door, bowing his head … 

“Ah - !”

“Oops!”

The bell tinkled loudly behind him as Albedo got down. The crash into whoever was right outside had knocked his box out of his hands and sent it tumbling. To his utter horror, he saw the lid had slid open, and its contents were clearly visible under the orange glow of an evening sun. Albedo scrambled towards it.

But another pair of hands found it first. 

Albedo lifted his eyes and froze in position, unable to utter even a greeting. 

“Sorry about that, Captain.”

Calmly, Erich closed the lid on the box, and handed it to him. They both faced each other wordlessly.

Paralysed with fear, Albedo opened his mouth, but was unable to make any sound.

“Relax, Captain,” Erich smiled. “I’m not going to judge you for what you do in your spare time … even though others might.”

Albedo bristled. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” Erich assured. “Really.” 

But it didn't quite alleviate Albedo's anxiety. 

“Although, I’m rather curious if this toy is for Captain Kaeya or yourself.”

“S - sorry?” 

“Hm? Am I mistaken? Aren't you seeing Captain Kaeya regularly?” Erich raised an eyebrow. 

But how did he know that? Albedo dug his fingernails into the box to ground himself. His palpitating heart was driving him crazy. No one was supposed to know that … 

At his silence, Erich laughed. “You know, Captain Kaeya has been missing the liveliest night of Angel’s Share for weeks now. It's hard not to notice for regular tavern-goers like myself. He must have found a partner he started seeing regularly, we thought.”

Albedo pressed his lips together. That's not enough information to link them together … 

Seeing his expression, Erich continued with a slight smile. “And then there was that evening when you left the cafeteria quickly for a non-work appointment, not involving Klee,” he related with terrifying accuracy. “Coincidentally … or not, Captain Kaeya didn't turn up at the tavern that night either.”

Here, Albedo broke his silence. “So, out of all the people in Mondstadt -”

“Out of all the people in Mondstadt, you were the one seen with Captain Kaeya at the back corner of the general store.”

Taken off-guard, Albedo could only stammer. “H - how …?”

“Happened to overhear Hoffer telling Cole,” Erich supplied lazily, and then, noticing his reaction, changed his tone. “Oh, don't worry. He didn't mean to spread any rumours - didn't share anything with the rest. But you know, he just lacks the self-awareness when he's around Cole to realise I was passing by …”

Albedo had been digging his fingers in the box with so much pressure now that it hurt. “You … you can't tell anyone …”

Erich placed a hand over his chest. “I’m deeply wounded, Captain. Who do you take me for? I’m not a monster.”

“No - I …” Albedo corrected quickly, but stumbled over his words. “It’s just … Kaeya really shouldn't be implicated in any of this. It's all me … I’m doing this for my personal research.”

“Personal research, huh?” Erich rubbed his chin. “Well, coming from you, that's not unbelievable. But how did you choose Captain Kaeya as your aid?”

Albedo swallowed, looking away. “They … they had to be single. And not too close nor too unfamiliar - so a colleague works best. And … they should be experienced.”

“I see,” Erich hummed, thinking. “Well, if it's those criteria, why didn't you look for me?”

“What?” 

“After all,” Erich smiled. “I’ve always been interested in you.”

It had to be some form of joke. But unfortunately, as the silence dragged on painfully, Albedo eventually came to the realisation that Erich might be deadly serious. Might, because he was hoping for that sliver of chance that he must have misheard. 

And yet, Erich’s smile remained unchanging, seeming to wait for his response. 

Albedo finally managed a few words. “I … never knew.”

“Of course,” Erich murmured to himself, but then broke into laughter. “Well, now you do. And we both know Captain Kaeya is out of the city this week.”

“So Albedo, what do you intend to do?”

He intended to avoid the Investigation Team for the next few days. 

It wasn't the most responsible thing to do, but he cancelled the rest of their expeditions for the week due to unforeseen circumstances. Albedo just couldn't bear to face Erich, or even Hoffer and Cole for that matter. Not for a while after that interaction. His mind was still reeling whenever he thought about it. 

It should have been easy to turn down Erich then. Every instinct in him screamed so. But the rational part of his brain - the researcher in him was ever so slightly curious about exploring the variable of another partner. 

They weren't mutually exclusive - Kaeya and Albedo. This was a mere experiment. And Albedo had some questions he wanted answered. Questions like why did he feel so … ambivalent (this was the best word he could come up with for now) when Kaeya mentioned turning to someone else for sex that night?

He sighed, turning to the gauge measuring the leyline energies underground. Meanwhile, Sucrose and Timaeus studied what they could of the biome somewhere nearby. As irresponsible as it was to cancel the Investigation Team’s expeditions, Albedo couldn't just let the leylines be without their regular checks. So, he might as well turn it into a field trip with his alchemy students. 

“Hey Sucrose, do you think this plant is what I think it is?”

Albedo pulled the gauge out of the ground, having recorded its numbers. The leylines were perfectly healthy. If only there was a tool to perfectly measure and diagnose his own thoughts and emotions. 

Where was the unrest in his chest coming from?

And then there was the matter of Kaeya leaving so abruptly that night. Albedo realised he had grown used to him cleaning him up every time … 

Perhaps Kaeya was angry at him for prodding into his personal affairs that week? Albedo admitted he might have overstepped there … So, did that potentially mean he might lose him as a partner for his research? 

“Um, Timaeus … I can't actually tell if that's a White Dragon or Dragon Jade flower …”

Nothing was guaranteed, Albedo realised. They didn't write a contract. It was all verbal agreement. This wasn't a formal inquiry, after all. So, all along, Kaeya had been helping him out of his own goodwill. He knew Kaeya had told him he was getting something out of it too, but if it was a “pretty face” he wanted to see, he had all the pick of Mondstadt. If Kaeya wanted, he was free to rescind his agreement any time. 

“We’re not that close; we’re just colleagues.”

And therefore, the logical part of his mind argued, it might not be a bad thing to also look for possible alternatives. 

“Hm. Delectable tea … or deadly poison?”

Albedo wouldn’t know unless he tried. 

Swallowing the broiling unrest in his chest, he straightened himself and turned around to call his students back. He was done here anyway. 

All there's left to do now was to return to Mondstadt, set his plans in motion, and witness the pay off of his plan. 

When the knock sounded on his door, Albedo opened it half-expecting to see Kaeya. But of course, he found himself face to face with Erich instead. Albedo wasn't sure what expression he was making, but Erich looked amused.

“I’m happy you reached out to me, Captain,” Erich said. “But I can't decide if you are displeased or glad that I accepted the invitation.”

“No, I -” Albedo began, but couldn't quite continue. Neither, would have been his honest answer. That and nervous, perhaps. “Um, nevermind. Just, please come in quickly.”

As Erich stepped inside his room, Albedo recalled how he felt when Kaeya was here for the first night. He was nervous too, he remembered. But the nervousness he felt then was slightly different from the nervousness he was feeling now; he was pretty sure of it. Maybe it was because Erich was an unknown variable in this experiment. 

Then again, Kaeya had also been an unknown variable once. Still, to his credit, he always made Albedo feel at ease. And come to think of it, it was because of his experience with Kaeya that he decided to continue exploring his sexuality with him. That wasn't in his plans at first. 

Was it the degree of trust he had that differed between them then? 

Hard to say. 

Albedo swallowed the lump in his throat as he sat on the bed. He tried to make conversation to ease his own tensions. “How … are you feeling?”

“Me?” Erich scratched his head. “Well, a little excited, if I’m to be frank. I did say I was interested in you.”

So he did. But what did he mean by that? He realised he knew nothing about Erich’s preferences. 

“Are you into men?”

“Truthfully, I prefer the ladies,” Erich smiled, coming towards him. “But you’re really pretty. Just as pretty as any girl, prettier even, than most.”

Was that what he meant by being interested? It didn't sound like there were any feelings involved. Not that he minded. In fact, it relieved him somewhat. 

“Well, Albedo, should we get started?”

A hand took his chin, lifting it. He was rather forward, was what he thought before Erich’s lips crashed onto his. 

Erich kissed like he had done this a hundred times before. He probably had. And he knew what he liked and what he didn't like. Albedo squirmed slightly against his hold. Unlike Kaeya, Erich was unyielding. He took what he wanted, notwithstanding how Albedo was feeling. He didn't know if he liked that. 

But he knew it wasn't like how he felt when Kaeya was kissing him. 

When Erich pulled away, he looked pleased, like he had accomplished something great. “You do this every week with Kaeya?”

Albedo hesitated, and then gave a small nod. 

Erich smirked, pushing him down now. His back hit the bed unexpectedly hard, knocking the wind out of him somewhat. Without wasting a second, Erich dived straight to his neck as his hands ran up his torso. Albedo clutched at them, trying to slow things down. Somehow, he wasn't feeling the same thrill as he did when Kaeya first touched him … 

Then, when his neck was no longer enough to satisfy him, Erich began tearing at his clothes in his attempt to access more bare skin.

“Ah - wait, wait!” Albedo panicked now. Things were moving too fast for his comfort. 

“What's wrong?” Erich grasped his hands, pushing them aside. “You wanted this.”

“I …” Albedo stared up at Erich looming over him. There was a look in his eyes that made his stomach twist uncomfortably. Did he want this? “Erich!”

Albedo gasped when he took advantage of his confusion in that second and tore his shirt open, buttons popping. His hands flew up to cover himself. 

“I said, wait!” 

But Erich gathered his wrists and pinned them down above him. Albedo struggled against his hold, and for the first time, felt a cold seeping fear right to his very bones when he looked at his subordinate. 

“You don't like being on the bottom?” Erich was yanking on his shorts now despite Albedo's protests. 

“No - please, stop -” he choked, twisting his body in a desperate attempt to get away. Although, with Erich's weight on him, painfully pressing down on his wrists, his efforts are futile. “E - Erich, please …”

“What? You can whore yourself out to Kaeya but not to me?”

Erich’s voice dripped with undisguised contempt. Staring down at him with a derisive smile, he looked almost unrecognisable. 

At his words, Albedo’s eyes widened in shock. “L - let go of me.”

Erich snaked a knee up between his legs. Albedo squirmed, his stomach churning in cold dread. 

“Let me fuck you once. I promise you'll feel good.”

“No,” his response was immediate, almost instinctual. Albedo was going to lose it if Erich tried to go any further. He was only barely suppressing his flight or fight response. 

He tried to keep his voice level. “Let me go now before I make you regret your every action.”

His vision pulsed in the torn shreds of his shirt. His threat - his only threat weighed heavily in the air. 

Erich glared at him now. But at the very least, he had stopped moving. Albedo still maintained eye contact fiercely. 

Eventually, the stalemate broke when Erich looked away, slowly lifting off him. Albedo could feel his blood rushing back into his hands. He sat up as Erich backed off. 

Neither of them said anything for a while. But finally, Erich lifted his head with a wry smile. 

“My mistake, Captain,” he said, then turned on his heel. “I’ll take my leave.”

Albedo watched wordlessly as Erich crossed the floor of his room, letting himself out. 

When the door closed shut, Albedo exhaled shakily, slumping forward. He held out his trembling hands, catching his own tears as they fell freely, rolling down his face.

He had never felt relief like this before. 

Albedo allowed himself to cry until the cold knot in his stomach slowly untangled itself completely. He must have sat there like that for a long time, for his candles were slowly reaching the ends of their wicks. But he couldn't really muster the strength to do anything else. 

All he knew was that this was his mistake. One that he would never repeat again. 

The flame of the candle by his bedside danced erratically. Before it went out completely, Albedo still had to do something … 

He gathered himself the best he could, crawling to the bedside table where his open journal rested. And then, took up his pen with a shaky hand. 

Session 5, XXXX

Perhaps it was a matter of compatibility, but attempting the same experiment with someone else turned out to be a regrettable experience. 

Although, it didn't seem like mere coincidence that Kaeya … makes me feel safe. 

Albedo paused, thinking about the implications of his emotions. But he was too exhausted to reach any conclusions. 

More observation needed. 

Chapter Text

Albedo stared at the peeling paint on his ceiling, the climbing sun illuminating all the cracks in between. It was finally morning, and about time for Albedo to rise from his bed and get to work. 

Except that rising was a little difficult when he weighed a hundred pounds. Or at least, that was what he felt like.

If he could, he would cancel all his work this week. In particular, all work with his Investigation Team. He didn't think he could deal with seeing him again, not especially after … not after …

Albedo curled up in his bed. He wanted to wipe the memory from his mind and dive back under his covers.

But unfortunately, even if he could cancel the week’s plans for the Investigation Team (he couldn't; he already cancelled two expeditions last week and there was too much to get done), he still had Mondstadt's Alchemy division to take care of. So, gathering all his strength, he managed to roll himself out of bed somehow, and drag himself to the alchemy laboratories. A miracle.

“Good morning, Mr Albedo,” Sucrose turned her head from her bench to greet him when he entered, and then gasped in shock, fully turning around to face him now. “A - are you feeling alright, Mr Albedo?”

“Just fine.”

“Y - you look like you haven't slept …” Sucrose covered her mouth quickly. “Ah, pardon my rudeness!”

Albedo said nothing. After all, it was true. He didn't just look like he hadn't slept. He didn't - not for the whole weekend. 

“Where's Timaeus?” he asked instead, noticing his other student was missing. 

“Oh, um,” Sucrose began. “He’s unwell … consumed something disagreeable - but only a small amount, thank goodness. Nothing Ms Barabara couldn't fix …”

Albedo nodded his head slowly. He knew what it was like to make a god-awful decision. 

Then, the door opened behind him. With some surprise, Albedo turned around. “You’re feeling better, Timaeus -”

The rest of his question died on his lips when the tall figure of Kaeya Alberich came through the door instead of his apprentice, smiling widely as if he were casually visiting a friend's house. 

“Captain Kaeya!” Sucrose exclaimed. “H - how was your trip?”

Heavens, he had forgotten again. And now reality was hitting him like a hammer. Kaeya returned to Mondstadt today. 

“Good morning, Ms Sucrose. Not much to complain about when there are such stunning views up in the mountains of Dragonspine. Oh, and I do have your mint sprigs here,” Kaeya raised a jar full of young sprigs before setting them down on a nearby bench. “And Mr Albedo, I also brought you a sample of glacial water.”

Albedo stared dumbfounded at the jar of clear water Kaeya was holding out to him. Whether it was his lack of sleep or sheer surprise, Albedo found himself stumbling over his words. “I - how - how did you …?”

“Well, Ms Sucrose approached me at the gates just before I left last week with a request,” he flashed her another charming smile. “I thought to take that opportunity to also ask if there was anything you might want from Dragonspine. A pity I couldn't find the opportunity to catch you in person before I left …”

“You really didn't have to go through that trouble … The Investigation Team is planning a trip to Dragonspine in two weeks and -” Albedo stopped his rambling upon seeing Kaeya's amused expression. He bit his lip, composing himself the best he could.

Slowly, he took the jar from Kaeya. “I … thank you.”

“But I am curious. What ever you would need that glacial water for?”

“My research on primordial lifeforms …” Albedo answered softly, still feeling out of it. His thoughts were all scattered. He wasn't prepared to see Kaeya this soon.

And now he was in front of him. 

Talking to him! 

Albedo clutched at the jar. No, they do need to talk, but not about this, and not here …

“I’m guessing this one isn't also a super secret personal inquiry - ugh!”

Albedo retracted his leg from Kaeya's shin. 

“Ouch … heh. I guess I deserved that - oh - hey, Mr Albedo?”

Albedo had grabbed him by one of his coat danglies and was dragging him back out the door.  

“Ah, Albedo, Albedo,” Kaeya blabbered as they left the room. “I apologise - would you allow me to live another day?”

Albedo dropped his hand from Kaeya, glancing around the hallway for anyone that might come by. Fortunately, it was still too early in the morning for anyone but the Alchemy division to have any business at this part of the building. Anyone but the Alchemy division and Kaeya apparently. 

“I need to talk to you,” Albedo said quietly. 

Kaeya eyed him carefully, evidently registering the shift in tone. “Are you alright? You look like you haven't gotten any sleep.”

He must look like a real mess. “Um. Something's on my mind.”

“Alright then, would you like to find an empty meeting room to talk about it?”

Albedo nodded, and then Kaeya was leading the way to the nearest meeting room in the building. It happened to be empty. And when Albedo stepped inside, he recognised the room as the same one they sat in more than a month ago. Where Kaeya was tossing his coin sitting across him at the table. Where Albedo broached a special arrangement with Kaeya. Where Kaeya had then turned the tables and sought his consent instead. 

Now Kaeya took the chair next to him, turning it around so that he could face him properly. Albedo interlocked his fingers together. It was hard to gather his disparate thoughts, especially now that Kaeya was in front of him. Where should he even begin? 

“Last week,” Albedo said eventually. Last week was as good as any place to start. He might as well sequence its events chronologically. “I ran into my subordinate in town …”

Kaeya leaned an elbow on the table, using his fist to prop up his head. “Go on.”

“And he told me …” Albedo paused, hesitating. “He told me … he was interested in me.”

“Ah well, that's not surprising,” Kaeya shrugged. “Who is this person?”

“Erich Franz,” Albedo said before interjecting himself quickly, “you don't know him. Please don't look for him.”

“Is there any reason I should?”

Albedo swallowed. Technically no. Lawfully, factually, by definition of terms, no. Albedo and Kaeya never signed an agreement of mutual exclusivity after all. It wasn't even verbally agreed upon. 

So, why was Albedo having so much trouble answering Kaeya's question? 

His chest tightened as he spoke. “No, but I … extended an invitation to Erich one evening …” Albedo glanced quickly at Kaeya's expression, which seemed to be an odd blankness. 

“For my research,” he clarified.

And still, Kaeya didn't respond. 

But it should be clear what he was saying. Albedo bit his lip before deciding to continue. “But we didn't go past um, the kissing because … because … I had to stop Erich.”

“Stop Erich?” Kaeya spoke now, still ostensibly indifferent in expression. 

“Tell me exactly what you both did.”

But there was no mistaking a dangerous undercurrent in his voice. Albedo just couldn't place what it meant. All he knew was that Kaeya wasn't asking him now, he was demanding it. And then, Albedo was suddenly reminded of the coldness he felt that night in his stomach, the abject fear …

“Hey, Albedo?” Kaeya reached forward, placing a hand on his whitening knuckles. “You’re … shaking.”

No, it wasn't because of Kaeya, though. Not really. It wasn't his fault. Albedo tried desperately to get his breathing back under control. He just couldn't help the emotions that came rushing back when Kaeya touched on that memory …

“Archons, Albedo. What happened?” Kaeya asked, full of worry. “I didn't mean to scare you.”

“I - I’m okay,” Albedo managed somehow. “I … just … remembered something unpleasant.”

“From that night?”

Albedo nodded. “Um. But I stopped it. I - I’m fine. Really.”

He'd rather not go into details. 

Sensing that, Kaeya didn't press any further. But his hand still tightened around Albedo's fingers. Perhaps it was subconscious, but Kaeya was shaking too.  

They didn't exchange a word for a while, until eventually, Kaeya broke the silence first.

“Albedo,” he said in a slow, controlled tone. “If you want to continue your research, just stick with me from now on. I won't see anyone else either. For your safety too.”

Albedo blinked at him. “Are you … okay with that?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

Because we’re not that close, he thought. We’re just colleagues, he heard Kaeya say once. Then, to see Kaeya exclusively … what did that mean? Was Kaeya really doing this out of goodwill? 

“Just look for me,” Kaeya said firmly, standing up now. “There are too many people with ill-intentions out there.”

So, what exactly are yours? Albedo was struggling to understand. 

But Kaeya was already going to the door. “I have to get back to my knights. Take care, Albedo.”

The door shut behind him, leaving Albedo alone in the room. He should really be going too; Kaeya wasn't the only one with work to do. But Albedo's legs felt like lead on the ground. He was still trying to process what had happened. 

Maybe he should take a day off.

After all, he’ll need a lot more courage to face tomorrow. To be specific, to face a certain someone on the Investigation Team tomorrow. His head hurt thinking about it, although the stress and pain had been alleviated somewhat after managing to get all that out to Kaeya. 

He couldn't connect all the dots. Why his chest tightened so much when he was confiding in Kaeya earlier, why he felt so relieved among his confusion when Kaeya assured him he would continue to help him with his research. 

No, insisted on it. 

Albedo put his head down on the meeting table. Just a little longer. Even if he couldn't figure everything out, he wanted to think about his messy thoughts and emotions just a little while longer … 

The next day, Albedo woke up slightly more rested, having finally managed to get some sleep at night. But he still dreaded the walk to the city gates. And dreaded the greeting from that one knight that would surely await him …

“Good morning, Captain!”

“Good morning!”

“Morning, Captain!”

A chorus of voices rang upon seeing him. But none of them, Albedo realised, lifting his head, belonged to him … 

His eyes swiftly scanned the Investigation Team just making last minute adjustments to their packing and equipment. A quick headcount also confirmed it. 

Erich Franz was nowhere to be found. 

He was just about to ask a knight about it when someone called him from behind. 

“Albedo!” It was Jean, coming up to him. With her slightly windswept hair and expression, she looked like she had been busy, and it was only nine in the morning. “Thank goodness, I managed to catch you before you set off.”

“Acting Grandmaster Jean!”

“Good morning, Acting Grandmaster!”

His knights greeted, and Jean responded in return. But she quickly pulled him aside after. It seemed like this wasn't a conversation she wanted anyone to overhear. 

“Sorry, I couldn't find the time yesterday,” she began. “But I do still need to confirm the news about Erich Franz with you. I believe he was part of your Investigation Team?”

“Was?” Albedo blinked. “What happened to him?”

Now Jean looked a little surprised. “You didn't agree to him moving to Kaeya's division? When he approached me yesterday, he said he discussed it with you …”

Albedo paused to process this information. 

Jean's eyes narrowed slightly. “I must say, something looked rather odd about how Kaeya was requesting my approval of the transfer yesterday. I’m happy to give it but if you are unaware of this …”

“No, no,” Albedo said quickly, realising what must have happened. Kaeya, was that really necessary? “Sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you were about to tell me that something unfortunate happened to Erich.”

Although, looking at the circumstances Erich was in, this transfer itself probably was going to be rather unfortunate. 

Maybe painfully even more so than any other accident. 

“Oh, I see,” Jean looked thoughtful. “No, I’m referring to how Kaeya had apparently gotten your agreement to move Erich to Cavalry. Kaeya said he believes his talents are better suited there …”

“And Erich agreed,” Albedo tried to phrase it without sounding too much like a question. Kaeya, what did you tell Jean?!

“Kaeya said he spoke to Erich already and he was agreeable, yes,” Jean now looked at Albedo carefully. “I just wanted to check his account with yours.”

Well, that was probably a good idea. If Albedo hadn't gotten those few hours of sleep last night, Jean might have found out Kaeya had been lying through his teeth the whole time yesterday. “It's correct. He did come to me requesting to receive Erich under his charge.”

Jean hummed. “I suppose that's all good then. I’ll officially approve the transfer. Erich won't be joining you in today's expedition; Kaeya's already got something for him to do.”

Albedo nodded. “Not a problem. Thank you for coming all this way.”

“Captain, we're ready to set off!”

Albedo glanced behind at his knights. 

“Safe trip,” Jean smiled. 

“Thank you.”

Business as usual. Albedo wasn't expecting anything different from this expedition. They went to all the regular spots, retrieving data from leylines that also tallied with their usual numbers. 

But it was hard not to notice that they were one person short. Or rather, it was hard not to feel relieved that Albedo didn't have to interact with a certain someone after a certain incident. Albedo wouldn't have known what to do if he were still here and tried to talk to him about the other night … 

It was a good thing after all that Kaeya requested his transfer (even if he mentioned nothing about it to Albedo beforehand). 

But did Kaeya do it out of consideration for Albedo's feelings? Had he anticipated Albedo's discomfort around Erich? Or did he decide to take action because of something else? 

Albedo paused mid-report, looking at the hand that held his pen. He remembered how Kaeya placed his own hand over his yesterday, shaking too, almost imperceptibly, like he was reigning something in.

“Albedo. If you want to continue your research, just stick with me from now on.”

He knew Kaeya meant that it was safer to be with him. But the way Kaeya said it, and how he looked then - Albedo couldn't help but hear a tinge of something else in his voice. 

Something like possessiveness. 

But Albedo must be imagining things. 

Still, the mere thought, no matter how fleeting, no matter how much Albedo corrected it, made his heart beat erratically. The humdrum of work was interspersed with these bouts of light-headed giddiness brought on by his racing heart that often also left Albedo confused and questioning. It was a strange mix of feelings to say the least. 

So, upon his return to Mondstadt, when he turned a corner on the grounds and happened to see Kaeya ahead of him in the walkway, he stopped in his tracks. His thoughts were not yet settled, and neither were his feelings. 

And his boots were muddy. 

Then, Kaeya turned, as if he had a sixth sense, and smiled as he met Albedo's eyes. 

He couldn't do much about his shoes, but he quickly patted down the loose strands of his hair, even as he was unsure exactly why he cared. 

Kaeya walked towards him. “Thought I heard someone. Heading this way?”

“I … yes,” Albedo replied, casting his eyes down. 

“Back from an expedition?” Kaeya asked. 

“Ah, that's right.” Did he look that unkempt? 

“I see you're carrying some equipment,” Kaeya pointed out. “Do you need help? Where are your knights?”

“Oh,” Albedo forgot he was carrying some apparatus. “They've gone to the team’s stores. What I’m carrying are actually borrowed from Reconnaissance.”

“Allow me to help,” Kaeya was already reaching out, taking some equipment from his arms. 

“Thank you …” Albedo said. “I hope I’m not inconveniencing you.”

“Not at all,” Kaeya started down the walkway, and Albedo trailed after, their figures casting long shadows on the dusty Favonius grounds as the sun began to set. “I was headed this way myself. Going to check on Cavalry’s stores.”

“If you need help with anything -”

“Don't worry,” Kaeya laughed. “I’ve already set someone on the stores. And they've been on it the whole day. I’m just checking on the job done.”

They arrived at Reconnaissance where two knights on duty received the loaned equipment, thanking Albedo for bringing them back in good condition. As Kaeya now made his way to Cavalry, Albedo couldn't hold back the urgent need to address the elephant in the room anymore. 

“Kaeya …”

“You want to discuss Erich?” he filled in. “Apologies, I didn't have time to contact you earlier about him.”

Albedo didn't buy it. That was unlikely to be the case. “So you went ahead and told Jean I agreed to it.”

“Do you not?” Kaeya raised an eyebrow at Albedo.

Their shadows lengthened in the setting sun, making it seem like time was dragging on forever as Albedo considered his own thoughts. He had to wrestle a little with his own emotions, sorting them out carefully.

“I … I’m fine with the arrangement. No, I’m … relieved, actually. Thank you,” Albedo admitted eventually. It wasn't like it was a huge loss to the team either. Mostly, his absence was only profound because of Albedo's relief. Still, for Kaeya to take such drastic action …

“I just wonder why …?”

Now, Kaeya stopped in front of a small storehouse. He turned to look at Albedo, something ineffable simmering in his eye. “Why indeed,” he murmured.

It did seem odd, and Albedo was about to respond when Kaeya shrugged, letting out a chuckle. “I guess I was just a little short of manpower. Do you know how much work it takes to be Captain?”

“I’m … aware,” Albedo muttered. 

“Who has time to take care of inventory, purchase supplies, collect manure, on top of polishing your own boots?”

“So you set Erich to do all those things for you?” Albedo sighed. It looked like his earlier predictions were true; this transfer was probably not going to be easy for him. He felt somewhat sorry for Erich.

Just a little. 

“Well,” Kaeya said, unlocking the doors of the storehouse and glancing around the spotless place. “It looks like he does do a good job. A capable knight, isn't he? As expected of his training under you.”

Albedo shook his head. “Don’t overwork him.”

“Nonsense,” Kaeya placed both hands on his hips. “I’m not a tyrant. Look, he still gets to eat dinner if he finishes his tasks on time.”

“... I’m going back.”

“Hang on there,” Kaeya said, stopping Albedo mid-step. 

He turned back slowly. “Yes?”

Albedo was shocked by how close Kaeya suddenly was. He closed the distance between them, standing before him with the same strange simmering look in his eye again. Everything felt a lot more still and quiet. Maybe it was because the last dregs of sunlight had disappeared below the faraway horizon, and they were waiting in a transient limbo before the first evening stars woke.  

In this lightless interim, Kaeya took a loose strand of hair from Albedo’s face and tucked it behind his ear. He was still smiling, but that expression in his eye made Albedo feel something.

His heart … it was beating erratically again. 

“About this weekend,” Kaeya began in a low voice. “It’s a selfish request, but I’d like to try something. May I?”

Kaeya? Try something? Albedo’s mind barely registered it. This was the first time he had ever asked for anything out of this. 

Despite the flush that had risen to his cheeks, Albedo found himself acquiescing with a small nod. 

“What … do you need me to do?”

For the first time since they began this, Albedo was the one going into it blind. 

Well, he had gone into many experiences with Kaeya somewhat oblivious, but at the very least, he had always had some preparatory knowledge of what they were going to try. This time round, however, Albedo had no inkling as to what Kaeya had planned. 

He had been cryptic about what Albedo needed to do as well. Just told him to “prepare himself”. 

So, before Kaeya arrived, he made his usual routine of cleaning himself and getting the wash bucket and rag ready. Then, all there was left to do was to “prepare himself” further. Albedo's cheeks coloured hotly as he massaged his rim, already slick with a generous amount of lubricant. 

Kaeya, could you be any more vague about your request? 

After stretching himself out with his fingers (he was getting much better at this), he debated getting out the toy he bought. But eventually, he decided against it - best not to go overboard first. Best that he waited for … 

A familiar knock sounded on the door. Albedo pulled his fingers out of himself, sitting up gingerly. 

“Come in.”

The door swung open, and the Cavalry Captain entered the candlelit room, his eye quickly falling on Albedo on the bed. 

“Oh?” he raised an eyebrow at him. “How daring, Mr Chief Alchemist. What would have happened if it wasn't me?”

Albedo swallowed, having been made aware of his nakedness, and what he was just doing moments before. “Well … you're the only one I invited …”

He looked away, quickly correcting himself. “I’m expecting you tonight, that is. A - and besides, I recognise your knock.”

Kaeya hummed, locking the door behind him. “I suppose I’ll be the only one you're expecting these nights from now on.”

There it was again. That edge in his tone. Almost like it was demanding his attention. Albedo could not take his eyes off Kaeya as he discarded his top and his gloves. 

He approached him, like he knew his space in the room, like he knew Albedo would let him. And he did. Albedo lay on his back as Kaeya joined him on the bed. It was almost intuitive. 

Kaeya let out a pleased sound, gently taking Albedo's legs and no doubt fixating on what's in between. “You’ve prepared yourself quite thoroughly.”

“Well, I don't know what you have planned,” Albedo pursed his lips with some embarrassment. Did he seem too eager? “And you did request it …”

“I’m happy you did as I requested,” Kaeya smiled, kissing a calf. 

Albedo fidgeted, definitely more than embarrassed now. His heart wasn't giving him a break either. “W - what are you planning?”

He watched as Kaeya pulled out what seemed to be a red satin ribbon from behind. Albedo stared at it in confusion. 

“I’m thinking … of tying you up here,” Kaeya said, touching the tip of a finger to his arousal, which twitched shamelessly upon contact. “And if you’ll indulge me …”

Kaeya smiled, almost innocuously. “I’d like to hear you beg a little for release.”

Beg. Albedo’s mind was starting to fizzle in a sudden ensuing heat that enveloped him. The thought of it made him feel so shameful. But at the same time … 

Why on all the presiding logic of the world was his heart beating this fast? Albedo could barely begin to utter a reply. 

A hand held his open palm on the bed, grounding him. “That is, if you’re comfortable with it.”

Albedo stared at the man above him, who could do just about anything he wanted at this point. But he was still explaining himself with the sole purpose of trying to assure him he was safe. 

“I’m aware you might have some reservations on account of whatever happened last week, so I understand if -”

“Okay.”

Kaeya paused. “Are you sure?”

“Please do it …” Albedo murmured. 

Kaeya held his face in his hands for a moment, looking straight into his eyes. “Let me know if you want to stop.”

“Alright,” he breathed, staring back at the indescribable expression that met him. 

Something like a cross between both urgency and relief. Albedo couldn't quite make it out. But it made his heart feel like it was bursting. And when Kaeya pulled him into a kiss, it was almost as if tender, like he was taking his time to savour all Albedo had to give him. 

When they broke for air, Kaeya gave one final kiss on the forehead before starting work below. With nimble fingers, he quickly tied the ribbon onto him, finishing off with a bow. 

“How do you feel?” Kaeya grinned at his handiwork. 

There was a slight pressure around his arousal, concentrated mostly at the base where Kaeya tied it. It wasn't very comfortable, but it didn't hurt either. 

But Albedo glanced away, still finding it embarrassing to meet Kaeya's smug expression. “Doesn't feel like much …”

A light laughter escaped Kaeya, like bubbles floating up a glass of champagne. “Not now, at least,” Kaeya leaned forward. “But soon.” 

He touched two fingers to his lips. 

“Need them wet, darling.”

Lips parting, Albedo allowed his fingers access into his mouth. Perhaps it was the way Kaeya was looking at him, but cutting through his own embarrassment, he found himself wanting to please. His tongue curled around Kaeya's fingers eagerly, making sure he coated every surface of skin he could taste. And so, when his fingers left his mouth, a shiny trail of saliva still connected them to his wet lips. 

“Good boy,” Kaeya praised breathily, also admiring the job well done. “Shall I reward you for following instructions so well?”

He touched the wet fingers to his opening, circling on his skin, still slick from the lubricant, slowly, intentionally. Albedo nodded, wriggling himself in an attempt to get Kaeya's fingers to enter him. But a firm hand on his thigh stopped him, followed by a swift flick to the tip of his arousal. 

Albedo drew a sharp gasp. 

“Ask nicely for your reward,” Kaeya smiled, gently admonishing. 

Albedo let out a shaky breath. “Can I … Can I have my reward?”

“Please.”

“Please,” Albedo added. 

“What do you want me to do?” 

“Your fingers …” Albedo struggled not to push back against Kaeya's hand still holding his thigh. “Move them … inside me.”

Kaeya laughed again, shaking his head. “No.” 

“No?” Albedo's eyes widened. 

“Say, ‘Fuck me with your fingers, please’.”

Albedo blushed at the directness. It was rare to hear such diction from Kaeya, or at the very least, rare to hear such diction used with him. And rarer (or never) still, for Albedo to use it in return.

He echoed after in a small voice. “F - fuck me with your fingers, please …”

“It would be my pleasure,” Kaeya cooed, immediately slipping his two fingers inside. 

“Ah!” 

Albedo couldn't stop the barrage of moans Kaeya pulled from him with every thrust. He hadn't touched Albedo there in a while, and it felt so much better than he remembered. Albedo stared, open-mouthed at Kaeya's flexed forearm, pumping his fingers into him at an almost alarming pace. It wasn't just his imagination - Kaeya was a lot rougher than the last time. It was almost as if Kaeya was trying to carve a space inside Albedo for him and him only. 

His heart drummed against his chest at the thought.

“Mmm … what a lovely sight, seeing you stretched around me,” Kaeya remarked, lust tainting his tone as he kept his eye focused on Albedo's hole, no doubt stretched tight around his fingers just as he said, sucking them in. This felt so different from when Albedo experimented on himself, even with the toy he bought. With the warm fingers thrusting into him so viciously, it felt like Kaeya was greedily taking anything he wanted from Albedo. He keened loudly when Kaeya hit a sweet spot. 

Despite the rough movements, Kaeya still somehow managed to precisely thrust up into his prostate. Every time he made contact, waves of pleasure rippled through Albedo, down to his curling toes. Albedo was losing his mind again as he felt a familiar heat pooling between his legs. 

“K - Kaeya,” he moaned, unthinking. “Kaeya, I can't …”

The pressure at the base of his arousal increased with each thrust. He could feel himself swell, so much so that it now felt painful with the tight ribbon around him. Most frustratingly however, Albedo was unable to find release, even as he twitched and leaked against himself. 

“Kaeya … I need - take off the ribbon - ah!”

The Cavalry Captain, looking drunk on lust, flicked the tip of his arousal again. “Uh - uh. I told you to ask nicely.”

“P - please …” Albedo moaned. “Please take off the ribbon …”

“Beg for release,” Kaeya stopped thrusting now, instead opting to rub his fingers against his prostate. The intensity of his movements drew a long string of incoherent moans from Albedo. 

“Ahh … !!” 

Kaeya leaned down to whisper in a low voice. “Tell me how much you need to cum, darling.”

“I - I …” Albedo was sobbing from both the pressure and pleasure building. He was too far gone to think properly. “I - I need to c - cum … Please, Kaeya!”

“Tell me you’re mine.” A growl in his ear. 

Albedo was barely registering anything at this point but his own need for release. He was already moaning so shamelessly. “I - I’m yours, Kaeya … all yours. So, please let me c - cum!”

“That's right,” Kaeya kissed a rolling tear away. 

“Remember that you're mine.”

Suddenly, the tightness around him disappeared. Like a rushing river breaking through a crumbling dam, Albedo came with a wanton cry. His torso arched, pressing up into Kaeya as pleasure wracked his body. Warm, long ribbons of his own spend landed up to his chest, and on Kaeya too. But the Cavalry Captain didn't seem to mind. He kissed all over his face, fingers still moving inside him until Albedo rode out the last waves of his pleasure. 

Finally, Albedo collapsed back on the bed. Kaeya pulled out of him, and captured his mouth one last time in a fervent kiss. When they broke, it was Kaeya who found his voice first. 

“You came so hard, darling,” he said, sweeping aside strands of hair drenched in perspiration and tears from his face. “How are you feeling?”

Albedo was still panting heavily. He reached for Kaeya's hand, holding it to ground himself, much like how Kaeya did for him earlier. What he was feeling - it was indescribable. All at once, all the embarrassing things he had moaned aloud came rushing back to him with a mortifying clarity. He had never begged for anything, and yet it came to him so easily in the heat of the moment. Albedo squeezed his eyes shut in his embarrassment. To think he could orgasm like this. And when Kaeya finally allowed him his release at the end … 

“Remember that you're mine.”

Albedo opened his eyes again, staring up into an anxious expression still waiting for a response. 

“I'm … feeling really good.”

Kaeya let out a sigh and slipped his arms under him, pulling him up. “Glad to hear it. Let's clean up.”

It must have just been bedroom talk.  

It must have been. After all, he knew what Kaeya's views on love were. He doubted it'd have changed since their altercation two weeks ago … 

“Albedo? You're so quiet. Did I go too far, after all?” Kaeya asked, wiping the remaining traces of his spend from his chest. The sensation was so familiar now. They’ve grown so familiar. Unexpectedly. 

Albedo shook his head. “I was only thinking …”

“What about?”

“Your being afraid of falling in love.”

Kaeya stiffened in front of him, his hand pausing mid-cleaning of his own torso.

“You're still thinking about that?”

Albedo knotted his fingers together. “Do you … still feel the same?”

For some inexplicable reason that wouldn't come to him at the moment, Albedo just felt like he needed to confirm it.

Kaeya ran a hand through his hair. “Well.”

Well? What’s that supposed to mean? Albedo furrowed his brows. “Well, what?”

“Is it wrong for someone to be afraid of getting hurt?”

Albedo stared at Kaeya with some surprise. A part of him was prepared for him to walk out and slam the door shut on the topic. He didn't dare breathe, lest he might spoil the moment. 

A beat passed between them. 

“Even now … I think I’m still a little afraid.”

“Everything has its risks,” Albedo almost jumped to say. “But it doesn't mean you should stop trying after one failed experiment … I think you just haven't found the right person.”

Kaeya raised an eyebrow. “So if it were you, you’d take the risk of getting hurt over again for the small chance of finding that ‘right person’?”

“I wouldn't have found you otherwise,” Albedo blurted without thinking, and then, registering what he had said, he corrected in panic. “I - I mean for this research of mine! And … and I confirmed you are indeed the right partner after trying with Erich too - ah!”

Kaeya flicked his forehead, actually looking peeved. “Never do that again. It's dangerous, alright?”

Albedo nodded, holding his forehead. He supposed he deserved that. “But you get my point.”

Kaeya sighed. “I think I can see where you are coming from …”

“So …”

“So, thank you for your thoughts,” Kaeya finished, turning back around to put on his clothes. “You should get some rest.”

Albedo bid him a goodnight, and then fell into bed with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions fighting for his attention. But the one feeling that stood out most was the immense relief he felt when Kaeya was willing to be this open with him. Albedo didn't know when he started … caring this much. 

About Kaeya, no less. 

He opened his journal. 

Session 5, XXXX

It appears that playing with role and power dynamics greatly influence sexual satisfaction. Despite the propensity of incurring some embarrassment, enjoyment can be found in entrusting one’s pleasure to a trusted partner they feel safe with. 

Therefore, when Kaeya asked for a declaration of belonging. It was startlingly too easy to say that "I was his".

Similarly, it was easy to admit later that Kaeya felt like … the right partner. Implications still unknown. 

More observation needed. 

Chapter Text

Of all the ways to drive Albedo insane, Kaeya chose to propose yet another trip to Dragonspine with his recruits … and Albedo’s Investigation Team.

“This trip is for exposure,” Kaeya went on, fully ignoring the way Albedo's mouth fell open from across the meeting table (he couldn't help himself). “You know the recruits will be choosing their companies soon. So, why not have them try the ropes of our very accomplished Favonius Investigation Team?”  

“H - hang on,” Albedo jumped in. “Why the Investigation Team specifically?”

Kaeya merely smiled at him knowingly for a few seconds of silence. It made him regret asking the question up front now. With everyone looking at them, Albedo could feel the hair on the back of his neck stand. Please don't say something stupid, he tried to telepathically communicate through his eyes. 

“Well, I happen to remember that the Investigation Team makes two trips to Dragonspine annually,” Kaeya drawled, looking amused. “And the second one should be around this time, no?”

What a convenient thing for Kaeya to remember. 

“... We set off tomorrow.”

“Perfect,” Kaeya clapped his hands together as if they had reached an agreement. “I’ll get my recruits ready.” 

Albedo narrowed his eyes, trying to read Kaeya. It likely wasn't as simple as he made it out to be. Tryouts for specialised company experience or “exposure training” as Kaeya put it could be done any other time. Why pick the very week the Investigation Team was leaving for Dragonspine? 

“Well, Jean? I was also thinking it might be a good way for my recruits to gain more confidence after their first Dragonspine experience.”

Nope. He didn't buy it. 

“I suppose there shouldn't be any harm …” Jean began cautiously, no doubt picking up on the odd tension in the room. Her eyes flitted over to Lisa. 

“Oh, I think it's a brilliant idea!” the Librarian was too quick to show her approval, clearly enjoying the entire spectacle. 

“Wonderful,” even Eula came in to add her two Mora, although much more deadpan than Lisa. “It’ll be another weekend without that drunkard fooling around in the tavern.”

Another weekend. Albedo stiffened in his seat. 

“Now, now,” Kaeya laughed good-naturedly. “I haven't been there as often lately, have I?”

Surely, he couldn't be planning … 

Kaeya turned his gaze back to Albedo, donning on that same knowing smile from before. 

Meanwhile, Jean had moved on to the next item on their meeting agenda. But Albedo was no longer listening. 

He bowed his head, trying to hide the way his cheeks reddened almost immediately at the shameful thought.

There was no way. 

Klee wrapped her arms around Albedo, kicking her little feet up as he caught her in a tight hug. 

“I’ll miss you!”

Albedo let her down gently. “It’ll only be 5 days.”

“That's almost a full week!” Klee pouted. “But if you ever get bored, I packed you something fun!”

“Something fun? What is it? Which bag?” Albedo looked behind him at the sheer number of rucksacks the knights and recruits were preparing at the city gate. 

“You’ll find out!” Klee giggled. 

At this moment, Kaeya strode in, patting Klee on the head. “Such consideration for your dear brother!”

A chorus of greetings sounded behind, which Albedo didn't join. Instead, he straightened from the ground, frowning slightly at the Cavalry Captain. “You're late.”

“Well, I was packing something special too,” Kaeya smirked. 

Albedo folded his arms, struggling to retain his composure against the immediate barrage of thoughts pertaining to what that “something special” could be - something less innocent than he would have liked. He could already feel his cheeks beginning to warm. It had better not be something ridiculous … 

“You know this is a work trip, right?” Albedo worked to keep his composure. “A professional work trip,” he stressed. 

“Of course!” Kaeya replied, but he sounded much too cheerful about it. 

“Take care of ‘Bedo, okay?” Klee looked up at Kaeya now. 

“I will,” Kaeya placed a hand over his heart. “‘Bedo is in good hands.”

Albedo sighed, deciding he wasn’t going to get very far if he kept pressing this now. He turned away to help his team finish the preparations. 

Thankfully, after wrapping everything up, they set off and arrived at Dragonspine without a hitch. From the foot of the mountain, they began their trek to Albedo's personal camp where his Investigation Team usually set up tents for their expeditions. Previously, Kaeya's recruits had only set up camp at the Adventurer’s Guild’s outpost, so this would be their first time staying and working in the mountains for the full duration of their trip. 

Therefore, Albedo had a few words to say. 

“Make sure your groups have at least one Investigation Team member,” Albedo emphasised. “Never split up unless there is an emergency. In those situations, seek help back here at camp as a pair. Keep to time closely. And always have your warming lamps with you. Clear?”

“Yes, Captain,” the rather large group of knights chorused. 

“Any questions before you set off?”

A hand went up in the crowd, front and centre. And of course, it belonged to none other than the smiling Cavalry Captain Kaeya.

“Yes?” Albedo placed a hand on his hip. 

“Captain Albedo,” he began slowly, as if relishing the way the title sounded. “I cannot help but notice that you aren't in a group. Will you not be joining us?”

“I’ll be with the group stationed at camp,” Albedo answered flatly. 

“Pity,” Kaeya put on an expression close to a pout, and Albedo was left fighting an urge to throw a rock at him.

The fortunate thing was, after that, Kaeya didn't bug him for the rest of the day. Work went more smoothly than anticipated, with all the groups coming back safe and with valuable data successfully collected. Albedo did feel at one point during dinner, that things were going a little too well. 

His gut feeling was proven right just shortly after the knights split to occupy their tents for the night. 

“Emma, you can't be serious!”

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

Hearing the commotion, Albedo headed to Hoffer and Cole. “What's wrong?”

“Emma packed the small tent again,” Cole glared at the sheepish-looking knight. 

“Honest mistake!” she put her hands up in a show of innocence. 

“I’m not squeezing into that small tent with Cole again,” Hoffer huffed.

“Those are my words, you oaf!”

Albedo pinched his nose. Was the size of the tent the issue here? Nevertheless, if that's what they presented it as … “Well, if neither of you want to share the small tent, you can both have mine. It's a little bigger.”

Hoffer and Cole looked at each other before breaking out in polite protests. 

“No need for that, Captain!”

“Where would you sleep then?”

“The small tent,” Albedo turned away, already walking. “I’ve got to move my things. Now, please go take yours and unpack too. It's getting late.”

“Yes, Captain!”

“Thank you, Captain!”

The small tent was decidedly less spacious than the others, but Albedo didn't have much to move in anyway, what with most of his belongings lying near the alchemy benches. He made the right call, he thought. Up until … 

The tent flap opened to reveal a grinning face. “Good evening.”

“Kaeya,” Albedo said, and then watched mutely as the Cavalry Captain crawled in, moving his own items into the small space. 

It wasn't until Kaeya began to unroll his mat did Albedo exclaim. “You're sleeping here?”

Kaeya barely looked up from his unpacking, speaking as though he were talking about the weather. “Ah. Emma didn't tell you? ‘Twas a bad slip of the mind but I forgot to pack my own tent. So I asked around for a spare and that's when the kind girl said yours should fit me too.”

Albedo stared at their touching sleeping mats. His mouth turned dry. “It’s too cramped.”

“Nonsense!” Kaeya laughed, adjusting the warming lamp at the end of the tent. It barely fit in the crevice between their mats and the tent wall. “Just be careful not to knock into -”

Albedo grabbed his small pillow from behind and wedged it between them. “This is a work trip,” he reminded Kaeya, although now it was really more like a threat. “There will be no … funny business, alright?”

“Like what?” Kaeya had the gall to ask, looking like he was barely just holding himself back from laughing. 

“You know what!” Albedo hissed before diving into his blankets. 

He turned away, clutching his covers. And tried to ignore Kaeya’s actions while he busied himself with the unpacking. Eventually, Kaeya quietened down too, coming to lie down beside him. Gingerly, carefully, and never crossing the fragile clothed cotton boundary separating them. Albedo still tried to pay no mind, but couldn't help but realise that the time between Kaeya's breaths grew longer and longer as he fell asleep. And so, he closed his eyes too, finally succumbing to the gentle rhythm of Kaeya's breathing. 

That night, the night after, and the night after that, Kaeya had been perfectly behaved. 

Even during the day, Kaeya hadn't been that much of a nuisance. He let Albedo concentrate on his work and mostly spoke to him at dinner or when they were in the tent. And while conversations with Kaeya could border on the inappropriate at times, this work trip, they were mostly harmless questions about his day to day and what he did in his free time and his favourite foods and the like.

It all seemed so arbitrary. What use would Kaeya have for learning his favourite food? 

Albedo rubbed the back of his head on the fourth morning. He was about to develop a bruise for nothing at this rate. It seemed his previous conjecture on Kaeya's reasons for planning this whole trip might have been mistaken. 

The fourth day ended rather unspectacularly too. 

At night, Albedo found himself eyeing the pillow he still kept wedged between them with some longing. Beyond the pillow barrier was Kaeya, lying sound asleep. 

Some part of him, some small (insane) part of his mind, couldn't help but drift into the dangerous territory of “what ifs”. What if Albedo hadn't put that pillow between them? What if Kaeya had enacted what he set out to do (because Albedo was still sure of an agenda at play)? And what if that entailed pinning Albedo down in their small tent while he fought his own voice in the throes of pleasure?

Albedo squeezed his thighs together in mortification. Just thinking … even just thinking about that could get him this way … Albedo flushed deeply, resolutely turning to face the other side. Was it perverse of him to think in such a way? Especially since Kaeya hadn't done anything … 

But then, why else would he push for a combined trip to Dragonspine together? 

The fifth day marked the knights’ last day on the chilly mountain. As per the Favonius Investigation Team tradition, the last day they spend on Dragonspine was always a half work day, with the later half being used for the preparations for a large bonfire night. However, this time, with Albedo's camp being taken up by multiple tents, the bonfire had to be moved to near the foot of the mountain. Thus, there were more preparations to be made than usual. 

So, after noon had passed and the knights were keeping busy with the bonfire preparations underway, Albedo decided to take this chance to confront Kaeya. 

“Come with me,” he said plainly. 

Kaeya, who was evidently on his way to the bonfire with a pile of firewood, stopped in his tracks to raise an eyebrow at Albedo in surprise. But perhaps, this too, was all feigned. Perhaps it was his plan all along to wait things out and drive Albedo crazy in nervous anticipation, hoping for a chance to strike when - 

“Ah, Captain Albedo, do you need my assistance with something?” Kaeya asked, smiling as if Albedo wasn't imploding inside. “Do you think it could wait until after I set these down?”

Since when had Kaeya ever been that hardworking? 

“Drop the act, Kaeya,” Albedo frowned. “I know you planned this entire trip with a certain agenda.”

At this, Kaeya’s smile changed ever so subtly. “Oh, I see what this is about. Hey, you there, get these to the bonfire site.”

The recruit hoping to scuttle by behind straightened up. “Y - yes, immediately, Captain!”

Having been relieved, Kaeya dusted off his hands. “Now, where were we?”

“Come,” Albedo said, before turning away and trudging back towards the camp. With most of the movement being where the bonfire was, the camp lacked the usual flurry of activity. Still, to avoid any prying eyes, he decided to seek the shelter of their tiny tent. 

Kaeya crawled into the small space after him. “See, I knew this tent would grow on you.”

Albedo grabbed his pillow and delivered a swift wallop over his head. “The issue has never been the tent. It's you.”

Kaeya adopted an expression of hurt. “How you wound me, dearest Albedo.”

“Enough stalling,” Albedo narrowed his eyes. “Tell me honestly now, for what purpose did you devise this combined trip to Dragonspine?”

Kaeya opened his mouth but Albedo was faster. 

“I won't accept ‘mere convenient coincidence’ for an answer.”

Bursting into laughter, Kaeya raised a hand in surrender. “Alright, alright, I’ll come clean. The reason may not be what you expect, however.”

“What is it?”

“Albedo, I just simply want to get to know you.”

Getting over the initial surprise, Albedo shook his head. “No, I don't think so.”

“Can you prove otherwise?”

Albedo narrowed his eyes. “That question is an admission of guilt.”

“Not even close,” Kaeya laughed again. “Dear me, do you have that bad of an impression of me? Truly, I am hurt.”

Albedo paused for a bit. Logically speaking, there really wasn't reason to doubt Kaeya's words. After all, as Kaeya had raised, there was nothing Albedo could point to to prove that Kaeya had more … questionable intentions for the trip. Still … 

Would Kaeya devise all this for a reason like “I just simply want to get to know you”? 

The same Kaeya who actively avoided pursuing genuine relationships with others. 

Does that mean … 

Albedo shook his head again, but this time, it was to correct his own thinking. No, there was a logical fallacy there as well. Just because Kaeya wanted to “get to know [him]” didn't mean that he was interested in a genuine relationship. For all Albedo knew, Kaeya could just find him entertaining to be around. 

Yes, entertaining, Albedo thought, remembering asking Kaeya a similar question why he agreed to help Albedo for zero remuneration. It was probably amusing for Kaeya to be around Albedo.

An odd frustration bubbled within him, even though Albedo couldn’t figure out why. There shouldn't be a problem … 

“Besides,” Kaeya continued suddenly, causing Albedo to look up hopefully (albeit, inexplicably). “It's the weekend and who knows if you’ll start looking for someone else to share your bed again.”

Thwack. Albedo smacked him with the pillow again, even harder this time. “That's not funny.”

“No,” Kaeya agreed, putting down his arms slowly. “Which is why I remain confused when you questioned if I wanted to continue doing this with you.”

“When did I …” Albedo trailed off as he began to recall a certain painful conversation they had a week ago. 

“Albedo. If you want to continue your research, just stick with me from now on.”

“Are you … okay with that?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

Albedo fumbled with the pillow ends. “Oh. That. Well …” He supposed if Kaeya were being honest, he should also be in return. “Well, two weeks ago, on the night of your birthday, you left a little abruptly … so I thought -”

“That I didn't want to continue this anymore?”

“I wasn't sure,” Albedo swallowed, looking down. “I really only asked Erich for data comparison … and to assess his suitability as a possible second partner in case -”

“Don't do that again,” Kaeya levied him with a hard gaze.

“I know, I know,” Albedo said, even though he was unsure why exactly he was making this promise. 

It was all supposed to be a mere experiment. 

“And, for the record,” Kaeya slowly began. “That night I left abruptly because I was … afraid of hurting you.”

Albedo tilted his head. “Of hurting me?”

“I wasn't sober and pushed a lot of things …” Kaeya sighed. “It was really dangerous.”

Albedo blinked at him for a second. It took him a while to register that Kaeya was actually feeling some remorse about that night. He jumped to assure him. “Kaeya, it was all consensual. And - and I frankly don't think I trust anyone more than you …”

“That's just it,” Kaeya murmured. “Your trust is … invaluable. I never want to betray it. I never want to betray the trust of someone I care about again.”

At that moment, all Albedo could process was he’s talking about his past again, he’s talking about Diluc. And never in his life has he ever felt a greater need to comfort him. Albedo reached out a hand, but retracted at the very last second.  

The movement, however, didn't go unnoticed. “Don't worry about it. My apologies for dampening the mood,” Kaeya forced a small smile. 

Not that there was much mood to begin with. But perhaps, Albedo thought as an idea came to him, he could create some now. He turned around, just to grab a rucksack that felt a little too heavy for what he had originally packed. 

“What are you doing?” Albedo could hear the confusion in Kaeya's voice. 

“One moment,” he said, rummaging through his things. “If I’m not wrong, Klee packed … ah! Here they are!”

He held up two pairs of metal blades, strings hanging off them. 

“Ice skates?” 

“Have you ever tried?” Albedo asked, feeling a lot more excited than he thought he would be.

“Not for a long while, but yes,” Kaeya smiled a little wider. 

“Great. Let's go then.”

“Where to?”

“Follow me.”

He stared at the wide expanse of lake before him. No doubt, the waters were very cold. It was sure to send anyone unfortunate enough to have fallen in into a coma. But that was just it … If people could fall into the water, it wasn't frozen.

Albedo suddenly felt very silly.

“Ah, the temperatures,” he started, already feeling a ramble going. “The temperatures have been getting warmer. Leyline reports also indicate -”

Kaeya scoffed, stepping in front of him. “Stand behind me.”

Coalescing Cryo so concentrated that Albedo could tangibly feel the air dropping a few degrees, Kaeya swung his sword in an arc towards the lake. It sent a wave of biting cold across the waters and froze it over as it swept the mirror-like surface, the ring of crackling ice filling the air. 

Shaking off the cold from his sword, Kaeya put it away, turning to face Albedo as temperatures around them returned to just above freezing. 

“Shall we?”

Albedo snapped out of his awed surprise with some embarrassment, struggling to find his words. “Ah … yes.”

He passed Kaeya a pair of skates - the larger pair, his pair. Albedo took Klee's instead. They were a little too small to fit on his boots comfortably, but he’d have to make do. After all, he was the one who insisted on bringing Kaeya all the way here to cheer him up. 

Although, looking at Kaeya standing at the edge of the edge of the now-frozen lake smiling at him with an outstretched hand, it seemed like he had already achieved that goal. 

Albedo waddled his way over, a little shaky on the too-small skates, and too relieved to have Kaeya's hand for balance. He felt his fingers grasp onto him firmly, and assurance washed over him. And then, before he knew it, Kaeya was leading him onto the ice … 

Albedo let out a tiny gasp as he slid across the cold slippery surface with Kaeya. It had been too long since he had done this with Klee, he realised. And most infuriatingly, Kaeya, who admitted to not having skated in a while, seemed a little too comfortable on the ice for that claim. 

Certainly comfortable enough to be laughing at him in any case. 

“Klee's skates are too small,” Albedo huffed, fighting for balance. 

“You can keep holding onto me, then,” Kaeya chuckled. 

Embarrassed that he was basically cutting off Kaeya's circulation with his grip, Albedo took deep breaths to calm himself, and then tried to loosen his hold. Eventually, when he felt stable enough, he let go, pushing off tentatively. 

Putting one foot out over another. 

Then, he was skating across the ice, letting out a breathy laugh as the cold wind caught his hair and bit his nose until it was red and blushing. Albedo stretched his arms out, suddenly feeling more carefree than he had felt in years. Skating around, Albedo whipped his head back to find Kaeya. 

A warm expression met him from across the lake. Even from that distance, something about Kaeya's gaze made Albedo's heart swell. 

“Come over here!” he yelled, waving at him. 

Kaeya skated in long strides, soon catching up to him. “Having fun?” 

Albedo nodded eagerly, and couldn't help his own smile as the wind zipped past his ears. “Klee and I haven't done this in years - and I almost forgot how it feels like to just let go.”

“Uh huh,” Kaeya laughed again. “Sure feels nice, doesn't it?”

“Don't you feel the same way?” Albedo asked, words tumbling out of his mouth. He found himself reaching for Kaeya's hand again, but not for balance this time …

Kaeya looked at him with surprise. “You’re asking if I feel like I could let go?”

Now, Albedo took hold of both of Kaeya's hands and was pulling him across the lake. “And whether you're having fun at this very moment.”

A soft breathless laugh escaped him as Albedo turned a few dizzying circles using their weight. Eventually, when they gradually slowed down, he found himself drawing towards Kaeya. Icy fingers still grasping onto each other, Albedo lifted his head to meet Kaeya's eye. 

They were so close their breaths mixed together in the cold. Albedo was suddenly seized by a great urge to express the swelling feeling in his chest.

“Kaeya, right now, I feel like my heart is bursting.”

It turned out Albedo wasn't the only one who (unknowingly) packed a surprise.

After a great feast around the giant bonfire the knights had managed to get going, Kaeya brought out wrapped chocolates he passed around to be melted into hot milk. It made for a delicious hot chocolate drink Albedo liked a little too much. He was just finishing his third mug as surreptitiously as possible when Kaeya caught him right in the act.

“Oh, Captain Albedo has a sweet tooth, I see,” he grinned. “Enjoying the surprise I packed? Worth being a little late at the gate, don't you think?”

Albedo buried his head. He couldn't let Kaeya see the flush over his cheeks. He couldn't let Kaeya know that he had completely misjudged him and thought he had packed something else. And also, perhaps most importantly, he couldn't give away how embarrassed he now felt about the crazy things he was saying on the ice earlier. 

Archons, just what possessed him then to say … 

Albedo shook his head, turning away. No, he will not relive that specific moment. If he did, he would combust into flames. Surely. 

Thankfully, Kaeya was whisked away by a few merry knights belting out a seasonal song. Albedo was left alone again, and decided that before he could do or say anything stupid, he should retire early for the night. They set off back to Mondstadt early the next morning, anyway. 

A while after, it seemed like the other knights had the same idea and began shuffling back to their tents. Kaeya himself returned as well, entering their tent just as Albedo had finished packing up. 

“All done already?” 

“Yes,” Albedo replied, crawling under his covers and pulling the blanket over him.

Kaeya smiled. “Goodnight, then.”

Albedo squeezed his eyes shut while Kaeya began to pack his own things. And despite Kaeya being as quiet as possible, no matter how hard he tried, Albedo couldn't will himself to fall asleep. Scenes from their little ice-skating run replayed over and over in his mind.  

“Kaeya, right now, I feel like my heart is bursting.”

Albedo felt like his heart was bursting now. He raised both hands to his cheeks under the blanket, drowning in his own embarrassment. He blamed it on the euphoric rush - the thrill of going so fast on the ice … and from being with Kaeya. 

A movement beside him told him that Kaeya had lain down for the night. The noise outside had grown diminished too, until there was nothing but the soft crackling of a fire nearby. In the near silence, Albedo's heart sounded like a loud drum in his ears.

It was a far too common occurrence these days. Coursing adrenaline, swelling aches, hot flushes, irregular heartbeats. And while these symptoms flared up most often on the nights they came together, he had been experiencing them more of late, outside of their sexual encounters. 

Albedo bit his lip as a terrifying thought crept into his mind. 

He couldn't be … 

Could he? 

But how does one exactly tell - and know for sure - whether or not they're … 

Albedo turned in his covers to face Kaeya, drawing his blanket down just far enough to peek out. His eyes grew wide at the sight of Kaeya also on his side, facing him. But his eye was closed, and his breathing soft and slow. Albedo took in his relaxed form, the way his hair fell over his shoulders in long, gently curling strands.

They were less than an arm’s length away from each other. Being this close - close enough to touch Kaeya - it made Albedo forget all about the flimsy pillow still wedged between them. 

“Hoffer … please …”

“Fuck …”

Albedo jolted, and then about froze in place in abject embarrassment. But this time, the embarrassment was second hand, and his mouth fell open in horror at the sounds coming from a certain tent not too far away. He tried to stay as still as possible, hoping the dubious sounds would go away soon. But they only increased in volume and intensity as time went on, stoking a heat in Albedo too. 

“Cole, fuck …”

“Ah … wait - !”

Albedo sat up quickly. He squeezed his thighs together. Not now, not now, damn it! 

“Albedo, where are you going?”

Albedo jolted again. He turned his head to meet an indigo-silver eye. “K - Kaeya. You're awake?”

“It appears so,” he said, a slight curl at the corner of his lips. 

“Hoffer, Hoffer, oh my god …”

“Oh my god,” Albedo echoed, slapping two hands over his ears. 

Kaeya stifled a laugh. “Your knights certainly get rather intimate with each other.”

“I’m going to stop them,” Albedo made to get up, but then felt a hand on his arm. Kaeya's hand. 

“Let them be.” 

“No, Kaeya …”

“They’ll be done soon. Let's try to sleep.”

In a brief moment of deliberation, a particularly loud moan travelled to them, making Albedo bury his face in his hands. It sounded like it was finally over. But Albedo didn't think he could sleep now even if he tried. 

For one, the embarrassment was killing him. 

And for another, the fact that this whole ordeal also reminded him of the less-than-innocent thoughts he had about Kaeya just last night was sending his body up in flames. 

And speaking of his body … Albedo crossed his thighs more tightly together. It was shameful, shameful really. 

“What's wrong?” Kaeya asked, noticing his distress. 

“I … I can't go back to sleep,” he murmured into his hands. 

“Why not?”

Albedo shifted uncomfortably. “Um.”

“Pardon?”

“I’m …” Albedo’s voice died on him when Kaeya sat up too. 

“What's wrong?” he asked, pulling his hands away. “You can tell me.”

I can tell Kaeya. 

“I’m feeling … I - I’m aroused,” Albedo stammered softly, barely meeting Kaeya's eye. 

And all the while his insides were combusting. 

Kaeya’s smile was growing. “Is that so?”

“You’re not allowed to laugh!” Albedo hissed, glaring. 

“There's no need to be embarrassed about it,” Kaeya leaned back, blanket falling from him. “Here. See? I’m aroused too.”

Albedo's eyes travelled down, landing on a recognisable outline on Kaeya's tight pants, one that mirrored what was happening in Albedo's shorts at the moment. He blushed at the frankness, and he blushed at a sudden thought that came to his mind. 

“I’m sure you know that it's just a physiological reaction -”

“K - Kaeya, I’d like to try something.”

Albedo shifted himself, turning to face Kaeya. For weeks he had been thinking about it. Trying to work himself up to it. But Kaeya always left his room so quickly after Albedo finished … 

So, if not now, then when? 

Albedo’s voice came out in a shaky whisper. “Kaeya, I’d like … I - I’d like to try oral sex … with, no, on you.”

His words were so soft, he wasn't even sure if Kaeya heard him. But when he mustered the courage to look up, Kaeya’s eye was blown wide in surprise. Albedo could tell that he was probably weighing too many things in his mind. 

“Are you sure?” he managed finally, after a long pause.  

Albedo nodded, then, remembering Kaeya liked to hear him, uttered a small, “Yes.”

A hand reached out to cup the sides of his face gently, fingers slightly cold on his skin. “I’m not going to say no to that offer.”

Taking the pillow aside now, Albedo crossed the invisible boundary to Kaeya’s mat as he adjusted himself closer. Meanwhile, Kaeya leaned back even more, giving Albedo room … and access to a sensitive region. 

Albedo fumbled a little with his belt, but eventually managed to free Kaeya's hips from it. And then, he moved to undo his pants, shakily pulling his underwear down. What he saw made him still for a moment. 

It wasn't the first time he had seen it. But Albedo would be lying if he said he hadn't been constantly thinking about it since that one night. Slightly curved and girthier than his own, Kaeya's arousal was already leaking a little bead at its head. Albedo wrapped two hands around it. 

Kaeya sighed upon contact, no doubt watching him intently. It made Albedo's cheeks burn. 

The past few weeks, Albedo had been plagued with so many depraved thoughts - this week, especially - despite the fact that this was supposed to be a professional trip … But now he was going to do it. He was going to taste Kaeya and help bring his arousal to completion, like how Kaeya had done for him so many times before. 

Albedo leaned in, first kissing Kaeya on the weeping head, before giving it a tentative lick. The clear fluid was a little salty, but it wasn't a bad taste. Gathering a bit more courage, Albedo licked a long stripe up his length, recalling how Kaeya had done it for him. Sneaking a look at him, Kaeya seemed to be completely enraptured watching him, if his lust-clouded eye was of any indication.

Finally, Albedo’s lips closed around his tip, then descended down his length. 

At this, Kaeya let out a low hiss, bringing up a hand to Albedo's head and quickly sweeping up his hair. It helped to get loose strands away from his face but Albedo couldn't get his whole length in - the tip of Kaeya’s throbbing arousal rested near the back of his throat uncomfortably. But Kaeya hummed reassuringly.

“Archons, you're doing amazing.”

Albedo pulled up, surfacing for some air. With the encouragement, he went down on Kaeya again, this time bobbing his head up and down slowly. 

Kaeya’s voice was laced with so much tension. “Fuck, your mouth feels so good, do you know that, darling? So amazing.”

The praise all went to his head and a throbbing heat between his legs.

His hands stroked the remaining length he couldn't take in, pulling a low moan from Kaeya. Wanting to elicit more sounds from him, Albedo bobbed up and down faster, hands moving in tandem with his head. Somehow, inexperienced and awkward as he was, Albedo felt good about it. He felt good that he was making Kaeya breathe so heavily, and he felt good whenever Kaeya pulsed in his mouth, saliva and pre-ejaculate mixing. 

“Albedo, you take my cock so well …” Kaeya panted. 

Albedo hummed, Kaeya's words sparking happiness and pride in his brain. He forced himself to take even more of Kaeya in … and for that effort, his cock hit the back of his throat with some force. Albedo gagged around Kaeya, tears filling his eyes. And then, the fingers in his hair tightened, pulling him up as he spluttered. 

“Hah … K - Kaeya, I can still -”

“I’m close,” Kaeya gritted out, leaning forward now. His other hand was stroking himself furiously. “If you want it, put your mouth near me and show me your tongue.”

In his heat-hazed daze, Albedo complied readily, opening his mouth wide. And no sooner than he did, Kaeya came with a low moan, shooting hot semen all over his mouth and tongue. Albedo gasped at the sensation, but remained as he was, trying to lap up and swallow everything. The taste was just slightly bitter. 

When Kaeya seemed done, he cupped Albedo's cheek, pulling him up. 

“I - I’m sorry, I wasn't able to make you cum -”

Kaeya kissed him, drowning the rest of his words. When they broke apart, he was turning Albedo around, pulling his back to his chest. 

“You did plenty. Now, let me take care of you, darling.”

Kaeya undid his shorts, and held Albedo's own arousal in his hand. The mere touch already made him quiver. He had been so hot and hard for so long, throbbing in his own underwear every time he bobbed up and down on Kaeya. And now that Kaeya’s fisting hand was finally giving him some delicious friction, Albedo couldn't help but cry a little. 

With his other hand, Kaeya brought it to Albedo’s mouth, giving him something to suckle and bite onto as he tried to be as quiet as possible.

“Gods, you're hot when you try to hold back your moans,” Kaeya whispered in his ear as Albedo’s mouth clamped down on his fingers in a desperate attempt to stop his leaking voice. “So beautiful like this, but you're only mine to see and hear.”

Albedo shut his eyes, nodding quickly as his heart raced at Kaeya's words. Yes, his only. Kaeya’s only to see, hear, and touch. 

“You're close, aren't you?” Kaeya nipped at his earlobe while he shook all over. “Won’t you come for me? Come for me, darling?”

Despite his best efforts, Albedo couldn't stop a high-pitched keen when he came. Fortunately, Kaeya had been anticipating it, and his hand clamped down on Albedo’s mouth just in time. The pleasure that swept his body was so great, Albedo’s fingers curled around Kaeya's arm, digging his fingernails into skin unthinkingly. All Albedo could process was his own blissful release. 

For a while, he felt like he was floating. 

After they had cleaned up after themselves the best they could, Albedo grabbed his pen and began rummaging in his bags for a piece of paper. Any piece of paper. 

“What are you doing?” Kaeya yawned behind him. 

“I have to write this down somewhere … I didn't bring my journal so …”

A soft, light laughter came from behind. “Don't take too long.”

Albedo managed to retrieve a torn page from another notebook, and wrote in the orange glow of the warming lamps. 

Session 7, XXXX

Adding on to the multiple factors that affect sexual arousal and satisfaction, feeling like one truly and wholly belongs to Kaeya  the partner greatly heightens the experience of sexual climax.

Oral sex, in this case - fellatio, is one way to

“Albedo,” Kaeya yawned again, making him pause.

“You're still awake?”

“Come here.”

Albedo put down his pen, going over as asked. With some surprise, he allowed Kaeya to manoeuvre him sideways, making him lie down with his back to Kaeya. He felt warm arms envelope him, pulling him close so that Kaeya's chin just rested just on top of Albedo's head. The act felt so precariously intimate. 

But Albedo didn't resist it. 

No, in fact, a great comfort came over him as he involuntarily relaxed into it. 

Feeling the gentle rhythm of Kaeya's breathing against him, Albedo’s eyelids started to fall. 

He barely registered a last lingering thought in his mind as he gave in to a fuzzy warmth as Kaeya hugged around him tighter still. 

More observation needed … 

Chapter Text

There's a saying that the more one thought about something, the more it became true. 

Or something to that effect. 

Albedo would like to think that the accelerated heart rate and flushing he had been experiencing around Kaeya were by mere coincidence of a lack of sleep or hot weather. But frankly, he’d rather not think about it at all. 

Since coming back to Mondstadt after their trip to Dragonspine, Albedo had been very mindful to brush off the recurring somatic symptoms he felt whenever Kaeya moved a little too close, or accidentally brushed his fingers against his. If any thoughts still persisted against his will, he quickly relegated his symptoms to some other reason before putting them out of mind - often after hastily extracting himself from the situation. 

In addition, he took more walks with Klee and spent more time instructing Timaeus - now that he was fully recovered - and did anything he could to distract himself. 

Even when Kaeya had somehow managed to find him at the library to discuss their next meeting, Albedo tried to be as removed as he could about the topic. 

With a hand on top of a book hiding another, Albedo looked up at Kaeya from the table with as much of an indifferent expression as he could put on. 

“I’d like to try … sensory deprivation,” he said softly. 

Kaeya's eyebrows shot up. And Albedo tried extremely hard to hold his own composure. He wasn't the most expressive individual, but a flush starting would hint at his feelings - no - not his feelings. There were no feelings involved here, he corrected himself quickly.

“Well, what sense or senses do you want to be deprived of?” was Kaeya's next question as he sat on the edge of the table. 

“Do you want to be blindfolded?” Kaeya continued, resting a hand on top of Albedo's. “Or bound?”

And gave his wrist a firm squeeze. 

Already feeling his heart rate spiking, Albedo withdrew hastily from Kaeya's hand. “Um,” he bowed his head, hoping that staring at the library’s polished tiles would help him concentrate. But his focus had already been too scattered. “Both,” he said, without much effective thought, and surprised even himself. 

He could hear Kaeya laughing. But Albedo staunchly kept his eyes down. 

“Well then, I’ll come prepared.”

Albedo nodded to the ground. 

“Everything alright?”

Albedo threw himself on his books, using his arms to shield his face. “I’m a little tired,” he murmured. It was a plausible excuse, seeing how it was currently late evening on a workday.

The next thing he knew, he felt light fingers threading through his hair, just like how Kaeya had done so when he hugged him warm and close one night atop an icy mountain. It might have been a subconscious act then - they were both so drowsy, but here, he couldn’t say the same.

Although it was just as comforting. 

Albedo sighed into it, feeling how the motions made his head tingle warmly … until he finally caught himself. He stiffened when he realised what was happening, and Kaeya too, responded in kind by pulling away abruptly. 

“I’ll take my leave first,” Kaeya said - and there was something controlled in his voice, something Albedo couldn't place. “Don't stay too late.”

Albedo could hear the click of Kaeya's heels on the floor, the sound of his footsteps fading as he left. When Albedo lifted his head again, he was alone. 

Well, alone except for his stewing thoughts. 

He moved his research books aside, revealing the colourful cover of a periodical popular among the younger ladies of Mondstadt. Albedo had come across it quite by chance (it had been lying on the table, unreturned) and was debating if he should look at it when Kaeya found him just a few seconds later. 

Now, he flipped through the pages, mostly out of curiosity, he told himself, and not because he saw a topic being advertised on the cover. However, for his own edification, he paused upon a certain page. 

10 Signs that You’re Falling in Love.  

He was sure this list was barely relevant to him but Albedo couldn't stop himself from reading. It didn't mean anything. Albedo had always wondered how one could tell they were in love anyway. 

Apparently, number 1 on that list was: “You think about them constantly.” 

Albedo wouldn't say he thought about Kaeya constantly. “Constantly” implied twenty-four hours seven days a week. Albedo was also aware of the irony of thinking about thinking about Kaeya. A sneaky thing. So, Albedo closed the magazine and banished the thought (as best he could) before heading to bed. 

No, he remained convinced he thought about Kaeya a normal amount. A regular amount. When he needed to. Like when their combined reports of their trip to Dragonspine were returned because Kaeya forgot to countersign on Albedo's documents. So of course, Albedo was thinking about him when he went looking for him. 

“Oh,” Kaeya smiled upon seeing him come up to him in a hallway. “How coincidental. You were just on my mind!”

“Kaeya, I need you to sign here,” Albedo said, passing him a pen. 

And tried not to think about how Kaeya's fingers lingered on his a little longer when he took the pen from him. 

But was that really his fault? 

Number 1 was a “probably not true”.

“Join me for lunch?” Kaeya offered after the deed was done. 

“I’ve a lot of work to do …” Albedo said, turning around. He couldn't afford to spend too much time with Kaeya these days. And yet, there was Number 2 on the list …

“You find ways to spend your time with them.” 

Albedo wouldn't say he found ways. He had too many responsibilities for that. He would not be able to function as the Chief Alchemist and Captain of the Favonius Investigation Team if he was clearing his schedule for Kaeya as and when he liked. 

Still, increasingly, Albedo was spending more time with him somehow … 

Even outside of their regular meetings. 

The day after, when Albedo's alchemical supplies arrived, it was strangely sent to Cavalry rather than delivered to the alchemy team, even though he had clearly addressed it to himself. Albedo watched as Sucrose, Timaeus, and Kaeya sorted and shifted boxes to and from Kaeya's office. About 15 minutes of this passed, and then, Albedo couldn't hold back anymore. 

“Kaeya, did you have something to do with the delivery of these parcels?”

Kaeya paused mid-step, shifting a box to an arm. “Hm? How do you mean?”

Albedo narrowed his eyes at the ostensibly innocuous expression, but decided he didn't have any proof to pursue this conjecture, and so turned around quickly. 

Much too quickly. 

He had been standing too close to the door and it swung right open before he could react. 

“Mr Albedo!” Timaeus cried, reaching out for him. 

Albedo stepped back, holding his forehead. Going by the throbbing pain, it was definitely going to bruise. 

Number 3 on the list: “You don’t feel pain as strongly - didn't seem to hold true either.”

Kaeya was over in a flash and took Albedo's hand aside, replacing it with his own palm. Gently, he applied some pressure, and then a steady low coolness with Cryo. 

Did number 3 still count if Kaeya was alleviating the pain with first aid? 

It was a little unfair, Albedo thought, allowing his eyes to close as he leaned on another hand supporting the back of his head. 

“I’ll take Mr Albedo to his room,” Kaeya said to a frantically apologising Timaeus. 

“Yes, of course, yes, of course.”

Albedo led to his room in a rather remarkable fashion considering how Kaeya's hand never left his head despite his protests. He wasn't in the best of moods when Kaeya eventually got him to his bed. 

“I don't need to lie down for this,” Albedo muttered a little curtly. 

“But you’ll need a cold compress,” Kaeya said, and then cut him off abruptly when Albedo opened his mouth again. “Unless you want my hand on your forehead the whole day?”

Albedo fell silent, letting Kaeya fetch a clean handkerchief to turn into a cold compress for him. 

Number 4: “You put up with their flaws” - seemed applicable here, but Albedo still questioned it. After all, logically thinking, Kaeya's persistence here was for his benefit … 

So, it didn't really seem apt to describe his persistence as a flaw. In fact, upon some reflection after Kaeya left the room, Albedo’s earlier obstinance must have been more frustrating to deal with. 

And for that, when Albedo was buying … adult supplies at the general store later, he also picked up some shoe polish for Kaeya. 

But it wasn’t like number 5: “You do things for them”, since Albedo was only intending to gift the shoe polish by way of a small apology. Besides, Kaeya had done him a favour earlier, and thanks to his actions, there wasn't much swelling at all at the injured area of his forehead. 

Perhaps number 6: “You remember small details about them” could somewhat hold an argument here. But then again, Albedo had always been confident of his own memory. He wasn't so forgetful as to misremember the exact shoe polish brand Kaeya had gotten six weeks ago.

No, of course not. 

Which is why, upon the sight of Calla lilies at Starfell Lake on his next expedition, it was even harder to forget how he passed Kaeya a Calla lily on Klee's request just five weeks ago. It wasn't like number 7: “Everything you encounter reminds you of them” at all. 

He’d like to reiterate (to himself), he had always had a great memory. 

But number 8: “You can't imagine a future without them” confused Albedo most. When he thought of Mondstadt, he thought of Kaeya. He was, after all, one of the first few people Albedo met in the city - he could still recall that one afternoon in the hallway when Kaeya spoke to him. And since then, he was to Albedo another tightly woven thread in the fabric of Mondstadt despite how he might have gotten there. It was just like how he couldn't imagine Mondstadt without Klee or Jean. Or perhaps, it might be more accurate to say he didn't want to imagine a Mondstadt without them. 

So, when it began storming the day Kaeya had gone out to clear the city’s trade routes of treasure hoarders, Albedo was not unreasonably worried. 

He was at the alchemy laboratory until late evening when he heard that Kaeya and his squadron of knights had finally returned to Mondstadt. Albedo left for the stores immediately, thinking Kaeya might be there and returning equipment. 

His eyes scanned past the thirty or so drenched and worn knights for a familiar face. And Albedo did pause upon seeing one, although it definitely wasn't the face he was looking for. Still, Albedo might be able to get some information if he asked … 

“Erich,” Albedo said, walking up to him. “Erich,” he said a little louder, to be heard over the storm still raging outside. 

Eventually, the knight did turn, raising an eyebrow when he saw him approach. Strangely, Erich took a few steps back in response. That was enough of a signal to halt Albedo in his steps. 

“Um,” Albedo started. “Erich, have you seen -”

Thunder roared outside, cutting him off. Erich looked towards the windows and then back at Albedo, seeming very much like he’d rather be outdoors and pelted by violent rain than in the warm, dry store. Relief fell on his face when another knight yelled his name from the other end of the room. 

“I’ve got to get going,” he muttered, looking away.

“One moment!” Albedo stepped towards him again, freezing Erich on the spot. “I just wanted to ask a question.”

Erich sighed, now turning his head to face him - although just barely. “Look, I’m not allowed to talk to you. I’m not even allowed to be within a 10 feet radius to you. If I get caught, I’d … it's best that I don't get caught.”

A strange rush of emotions hit Albedo when he finally processed Erich’s words. Emotions that he didn't currently have the capacity to parse through and analyse. It almost made him forget why he was here in the first place, but another loud clap of thunder reminded him. 

“Kaeya …” he said, grasping at his original intent. “I just need to know where he is.”

There was a short pause. 

“Captain Kaeya has gone to report to the Acting Grandmaster,” Erich replied eventually. 

“Thank you,” Albedo said sincerely before turning. 

Behind, Erich spoke again, momentarily stopping him. 

“Take care of yourself. Captain Kaeya really cares about you, too.”

And that was number 9. 

“You care deeply about them.”

Albedo was struck by a realisation as he considered Erich's words. Did “too” mean that … 

No, it probably wasn't what he was thinking. After all, knowing Kaeya's views on love … 

In any case, Albedo was only wasting more time standing around trying to reach an impossible conclusion. He had to get to Kaeya. 

Pulling himself together, Albedo made his way as fast as he could to Jean’s office, only to find out that she had quickly sent Kaeya on his way after seeing how exhausted he looked. Albedo hoped exhausted was all there was to Kaeya's current state. For his own peace of mind, Albedo decided he had better see for himself, and immediately made his way next to Kaeya's room, only dropping by his own on his way there to fetch something. 

When Kaeya answered the door looking dishevelled and surprised but otherwise fine, Albedo sighed in relief. 

“Here, take this,” Albedo took Kaeya's hand and pressed a warming lamp into his cold fingers. 

Kaeya held it for a moment in silence. And then, without warning, pulled Albedo into a hug. 

Damp as it also made him, Albedo found that he didn't mind. Not especially when the relief he felt knowing Kaeya was safe was greater than any discomfort he was experiencing at the moment.

And then, the next evening … 

The next evening, Albedo allowed himself to be blindfolded by a silky dark fabric, knowing that he himself was safe in Kaeya's hands. Even when Kaeya held his wrists up to tie them together, Albedo never had a single doubt in his mind. 

His breaths were a little unsteady as he was manoeuvred to lie down on the bed. Not out of fear, but in giddy anticipation. Albedo had earlier laid out the lubricant and his toy on the bedside table. And he knew, from a quick glance of surprise, that Kaeya had seen them. 

Nevertheless, he took his time. Kaeya kissed Albedo on the lips, along his jaw, down his neck, everywhere, leaving him a shuddering mess. Kaeya was only leaving fleeting kisses, but without being able to see where he was kissing, every touch felt like leaving trails of fire on his skin, making his hair stand. When a warm, wet tongue rolled over a nipple, Albedo cried, instinctively moving his hands, but a larger one pinned his tied wrists back down on the bed. 

“Don't move now,” he heard Kaeya tell him, followed by a pinch on the inner corner of his thigh that made him yelp in surprise. 

“Spread your legs, darling. Let me see you.”

Be it the term of endearment or the explicit request, or both, Albedo felt himself blush hotly. Still, he did as he was told, moving his feet aside. Without his sight, he could only imagine Kaeya staring at him as he did so, the same intense gaze he had been held under so many times before … 

“Gorgeous,” Kaeya eventually whispered, letting a finger trail up his length. 

And Albedo felt like he was about to combust into flames. 

Then, a movement of the bed signalled that Kaeya was getting up. 

“Kaeya …?”

“Stay right there, darling,” he heard Kaeya respond a few steps away from the bed. “And don't move an inch.”

Albedo strained his ears to hear what Kaeya was doing. It sounded like he was removing articles of clothing. Even the clink of a belt. Albedo’s breathing grew more erratic - he didn't feel like he was getting nearly enough air. His brain felt foggy, clouded. Kaeya tarried, dragging out the time, and Albedo couldn't help but feel like he was on display here.

He held the position the best he could for Kaeya. 

Albedo's patience was rewarded when Kaeya finally returned with a hungry kiss. He melted into it, involuntarily letting out sounds of pleasant surprise. And then, a hand loosely wrapping around his arousal had him mewling as it stroked him. Albedo tore away, breathing hard as he tried to look down on instinct, but saw only darkness. The friction - however gentle Kaeya was being - felt amazing. But it wasn't nearly enough. He wanted more, he needed more. 

“Not enough?” a chuckle came in his ear. And then the rounded shape of cold glass touched the skin of his rim, making him gasp. When did Kaeya take …

“You’re waiting for this, aren't you?” Kaeya continued to say in his ear. “You’ve laid it out for me to use on you as I like. How bold of you, Kreideprinz.”

For Kaeya to highlight the brazenness of such an action …. It stoked a heated shame within him, but the all-consuming fire of his shame only made his arousal throb even more in Kaeya's fist. 

Then, all sensation was removed from him. But Albedo didn't have much time to relax. Only a few seconds later, the pop of a cork sounded, and Albedo knew that Kaeya had opened the bottle of lubricant. 

He knew and yet, the sticky liquid still felt much too cold on his skin when Kaeya poured it. Everything felt a hundred times more sensitive when he couldn't see and wasn't allowed to use his hands. So instead, he dug into his own pillow with his fingers as the two circling fingers at his rim entered him. 

Albedo bit his lip as Kaeya's fingers prodded and massaged inside, playing with him. A whole manner of squelching noises at his ministrations made Albedo blush deeply. It was much too loud, and therefore much too evident what Kaeya was doing to him. His heart raced at the mental imagery of Kaeya playing with him as he liked, giving pleasure as he liked, all the while watching him come apart with a smile on his face.

He was in pieces when Kaeya was thrusting three fingers in and out of him. Hitched moans, trembling legs, and gripping fingers. And every time Albedo felt like he was dancing at the edge of a precipice, Kaeya would pull back and slow down, allowing the pleasure to fade momentarily, only to build it back up again pulling moan after moan from him. 

“K - Kaeya … please, I need … I need to cum,” he cried brokenly. “Please let me …”

Kaeya now kissed him on his inner thigh, where he had pinched earlier. Albedo could feel that smile on Kaeya's lips, the same smile he had been imagining in his head. 

“Well, since you asked so sweetly.”

The fingers were withdrawn, leaving a strange emptiness. But no sooner had Albedo started to miss their presence, a hard rounded shape touched his rim. There was no doubt that Kaeya was pressing the toy against him, applying some pressure … until finally, the first bead slipped inside him, and Albedo forgot how to breathe again. 

Since purchasing the toy, Albedo had used it on a few occasions. But it was different when Kaeya was using it on him - and even just the act of slowly pushing it inside made him shudder. Every sensation he felt was heightened; he could feel every bead, every curve inside him. 

“Feeling good, darling? You’re making such a beautiful expression,” Kaeya hummed, rubbing the tip of the toy in expert circles against him. “Didn’t know you like toys like this. Would have bought you more to play with.”

Instinctively, involuntarily, Albedo’s hips moved in tandem with Kaeya. He must have looked so shameless, so utterly debauched as all manner of moans fell out of his mouth. 

“K - Kaeya … Kaeya … feels so good inside …”

Immediately, the circling stopped, replaced by a sudden thrust up where Albedo felt the most. His mouth fell open, the moan coming out silent before his breath escaped in a high-pitched keen. Albedo felt Kaeya lean over then. 

“Gods, I love it when you lose control,” he growled into his shoulder. 

Snapping upwards sharp and quick, Kaeya thrust the head of the toy into Albedo, over and over again. He barely felt like he had time to breathe with his moans now being punched out of him by an unrelenting force. The feeling was so intense Albedo found himself babbling. 

“Kaeya, please, please … hold you - need to hold you - !”

The grip on his wrists changed, Kaeya's hand pulling his arms up to wrap around his neck. Quite happily, Albedo raised his legs too, and crossed his ankles behind Kaeya. Like this he could feel Kaeya above him, like this he could feel like … he could feel like … 

Oh, Albedo’s heart was exploding. Like this, he could feel like Kaeya was making love to him. 

Dully, at the back of his head, his mind reminded him of the tenth sign of falling in love. 

You just know.  

Kaeya gripped onto his thigh now, squeezing it as he thrust into his sweetest spot one last time. 

And then, Albedo was seeing stars behind his eyes. 

It took a while for him to come down from his high, but eventually, he was lifting a shaky hand to remove his blindfold. Kaeya had been uncharacteristically quiet since, even though he hadn't let go of his thigh … 

What Albedo eventually saw, when his eyes adjusted, was an expression extremely afflicted. His hand was still moving, but instead of the toy, it held his own arousal over Albedo, red and leaking and desperate for release. 

“Tell me and I’ll finish in the bathroom,” Kaeya breathed, voice tight from the tension. 

Albedo pulled his knees up, liking the way Kaeya's eye darkened at the sight, at the toy still inside him.  

“Do it here.”

It didn't take long before Kaeya’s warm release mixed with his own. It made a mess on his abdomen, his softened length, his opening even. But Albedo didn't mind. He liked it, he realised. 

He liked it because it was Kaeya. 

No, he liked it because he loved … 

He loved … 

Albedo could barely put his thoughts together when he sat down later to write in his journal. How could one string together all that just happened - the acts, the sensations, the emotions, with a coherent conclusion … ?

Well, first, he had to come to terms with it. 

After a long time in contemplation, long past since Kaeya had cleaned him up and left his room, Albedo found he could only manage one summary sentence. 

Session 8, XXXX

I think I’m in love with Kaeya. 

Chapter Text

Knowing that one was in love changed everything. 

For Albedo, it changed the way the light fell - softly, hazily, dousing laboratories and meeting rooms in a diffused glow. It changed how the winds blew - gentle and balmy, sweet with the scent of ripe fruit and blooming flowers. It changed how nights felt - warmer now, and somehow more serene, like all the world’s troubles have been cast aside momentarily for a moment of quiet solace.

Of course, those weren't the only things that changed. 

Albedo was stocking up at the public alchemy table in the townsquare when a spirited voice called out to him. 

“Bedooo!”

Looking back, he saw Klee skipping towards him, and right behind her, was none other than Mondstadt's Cavalry Captain … 

Also presently, Albedo's object of his affections. 

Now that he knew what the cause of his irregular heart rate was, Albedo turned back to the shelves and leaned his forehead on the wood. He had to calm down. Because besides the rose-tinted perspective of the world, knowing that he was in love also brought about a heightened, prickly self-awareness. 

He counted to ten. And then turned to face Klee when she just about got to the alchemy table. 

“Hello, Klee,” he said to the little girl before looking up eventually. “Kaeya.”

“Albedo.” Kaeya flashed him a lopsided grin, the sort that Albedo had to quickly look away from lest a blush betrayed him. 

Which was just as well because Klee was now shoving a small paper bag into his hands. “The sweets at Cat’s Tail are on sale so I bought some for you!”

“You bought some, you say? With whose Mora?” Albedo raised an eyebrow at her, opening the paper bag with some hesitation.

“With Kaeya's Mora!” 

Albedo sighed. “Klee, what did I say about spending someone else’s Mora?”

“I offered.”

Albedo looked at Kaeya. “You shouldn't have.”

“I wouldn't for anyone else but you.”

Albedo stared open-mouthed at Kaeya. And he still smiled so casually that Albedo was even beginning to think he might have heard wrong. 

At this point, Klee was jumping up and down, trying to get his attention. “Try one!”

Fumbling a little, Albedo peered into the bag and found mostly a selection of chocolates. He picked a piece and bit into it, a familiar sweetness melting on his tongue. 

“Like the taste?” Kaeya asked, although his smiling expression showed he already knew the answer. “They're what I brought to make the hot chocolate on Dragonspine. The one you drank three mugs of -”

Albedo hurriedly cut him off. “I’ll return you the Mora.”

“Nonsense,” Kaeya waved a hand in dismissal. “How about a favour instead?”

“What is it?” Albedo asked warily. 

“How about you attend my New Year’s Eve party instead? I host one for my knights and recruits every year.”

Albedo shook his head. “No, thank you, I -”

“Can we go, please?” Klee interjected, pleading. “Kaeya said it'll be fun!”

“No, Klee …”

“Pleeeaassee!!” 

Albedo pinched his nose. “I don't know … I’m not great at - um, talking to people.”

“You can just talk to me, then,” Kaeya rejoined smoothly, and Albedo had to turn away to collect himself and his erratically beating heart. 

Kaeya didn't mean anything by it, he told himself. Kaeya always talked like this, Albedo reminded. After all, Kaeya was comfortable saying these things because he didn't harbour any other … intimate feelings. 

“I mean I’m quite upfront about the fact that I’m not looking for a committed relationship with my partners.”

A slightly breezy afternoon came to Albedo's mind - the splashing sounds of a fountain, the quivering petals of a Calla lily, and the tearful expression of someone who just had her heart broken. 

“And if they're not reading the signals right, it's their fault for falling in love.”

Albedo kicked himself now. How did he let himself get to this point? In any case, he couldn't risk Kaeya finding out. 

“I - we’ll see if we have some time,” he said as indifferently as he could sound. 

Because if Kaeya knew, he was sure he’d break his heart too. 

Usually, every Favonius Captain had their own way of celebrating New Year's Eve with their companies. It is normally an afternoon event, seeing as most knights had their own evening plans after. There were some exceptions of course - like Kaeya’s New Year's Eve party at Angel’s Share which was a popular evening affair. But for Albedo’s Investigation Team and the Alchemy division, their annual combined celebration was by way of a pfannkuchen cook-off in the Favonius kitchens. 

This year, Albedo was on a team with Timaeus, Emma, and Cole (they had drawn lots). There was no real competition of course, but Cole was determined to win at least a few more votes than Hoffer’s team. So, having quickly taken the lead, he set everyone about various tasks to make the perfect sugary, jammy treat. 

In about an hour, Albedo was up to his elbows in flour. 

However, looking around, he was glad to see it wasn't just him. Most everyone - and entire kitchen tables and cupboards were covered in flour. They all seemed to be having a good time; some of them were just taking their time to chat amongst each other, enjoying themselves. But Cole had a job for Albedo to do - one that he entrusted with all seriousness. Albedo paused in rolling a particularly springy mound of dough to briefly raise a forearm to his brow, and then went back to attack the thing with the rolling pin.  

“Ah, Captain, be careful not to overwork the dough!” Cole’s voice stopped him. 

Stepping back, Albedo allowed Cole to take the pin from him, and watched as he rolled the dough with expert pressure and ease. 

“Have you done this before? You're very good at it.” Albedo couldn't help but ask. 

“Oh, well, I like baking things for my family,” Cole said, colouring a little at the praise. “Although pfannkuchen needs to be fried …”

“I’m sure a good dough helps.”

“Whatever the case, I won't let Hoffer's team best ours,” Cole promised confidently, setting the dough aside to rest now. “Mr Timaeus, Emma, how's the jam?”

Timaeus looked up from a thick, reddish mixture in a bowl, and pointed a thumb behind where Emma seemed to be exchanging some fruit with another table.

“Emma, don't give our valberries to -” Cole huffed in frustration. “Exchange them with any other team!”

“Afraid you’ll lose?” came Hoffer with a snarky smile, seeing the internal team conflict. 

“Who’s afraid?” Cole sniffed. “Fine, take our valberries. Emma, accept only the largest sunsettias, alright?”

Watching all this, Albedo couldn't help another burning question. It slipped from him before he could even begin to stop himself. 

“How long have you and Hoffer been dating?”

Cole almost fell over hearing the question. He gripped the edge of the table with one hand and looked at Albedo with a face that was steadily turning as red as the jam Timaeus was stirring. 

“C - Captain … you know about us?”

Albedo stared at him for a long time, unable to respond immediately. Eventually, Emma scoffed, returning to the table with humongous sunsettias. “Cole, everyone knows.”

At this, Cole turned redder still. “So, all the tiny tents - you packed those on purpose?”

Emma laughed now. “I’m going to get more sugar,” she said, and then happily waltzed away. 

Cole hung his head in embarrassment. “That Emma … Oh, Captain, I don't know where to start …”

“How did it start?” Albedo asked, pure curiosity taking over him now that they were openly discussing the topic. 

“I think it was about three months ago when I - um … when I asked him about it,” Cole covered his mouth with a fist. “But I suppose we’ve … liked each other for a while back, just that we didn't know then.”

Albedo considered this for a moment. So, something compelled Cole to talk to Hoffer about it, even though they didn't know of each other's feelings for certain. 

“Were you afraid?”

“Sorry?”

“When you told Hoffer how you felt.”

Cole was blushing to the ends of his roots again. “A little. I asked him first, though. Before I came clean myself.” 

“I see,” Albedo chewed on a lip. 

“Captain, are you and Captain Kaeya …” Cole began, but then stopped himself. “No, I’m sorry for overstepping -”

Albedo hesitated, but eventually shook his head. There wouldn’t be any harm anyway. “Well, I did ask about you and Hoffer first. But no, we’re not … dating.”

It sounded so foreign - to even consider he could be dating Kaeya Alberich. If he could ignore the odd ache in his chest, Albedo would have even laughed at the thought. He turned back to the dough, eager for some distraction.

“Shall we continue?”

In another hour or so, the aroma of freshly fried pfannkuchen filled the Favonius kitchens. At Albedo's own bench, they were just filling the last few doughnuts when Klee burst into the place animatedly. 

“Albedooo!” she squealed, running up to him. 

Noelle came trailing in not far behind. “We’re here for the tasting too, if you don't mind,” she smiled. 

“Oh, of course - Klee, wait,” Albedo gently smacked her hand away. “Hold on. We’ve got to finish dusting this with sugar first …”

While they made the finishing touches on their doughnuts, Noelle had brought out a long table. Then, teams of knights began to bring their pfannkuchen on a plate to it. Like every year, the team numbers on the back of a card was hidden under the plate, and then knights began their taste-testing, casting votes into a small bowl behind the plate. 

Noelle usually joined them as a tie-breaker if there was one. This year, there happened to be a need for her services. She stood in front of two plates, chewing thoughtfully on the doughnuts presented. Meanwhile, everyone watched with some anticipation, especially two particular knights. 

Hoffer turned his head to grin at Cole beside him. “That's ours. If my team wins, you owe me a -”

Cole stomped on his feet, causing the other man to grimace in pain. “Shut up! Don't distract her!”

Eventually, Noelle came forward, and tossed a marble into the bowl on the right …

“We won!” Cole turned to Albedo, yelling in jubilation while Hoffer watched, dumbstruck. 

“The winning team is … ah, you all know who the winning team is,” Noelle said in amusement as Timaeus and Emma closed in on Albedo and Cole, pulling the group into a hug. Everyone else erupted in applause and cheers. 

Albedo was suddenly aware of a tugging on his hand. Looking down, he saw Klee excitedly pulling on him. He disentangled himself from the group and picked her up. 

“Liked the pfannkuchen?” he smiled, wiping icing sugar off her face. 

“I loved them all!” Klee nodded eagerly. “This is almost the best New Year's Eve ever!”

“Almost?”

“It'd be perfect if we could go to Kaeya's party together!” Klee declared. 

Albedo frowned. “Did Kaeya tell you to say that?”

“No …” then, under Albedo's scrutiny, Klee broke. “Y - yes … but I really do want to go!”

Albedo sighed, setting Klee back on the floor. “We’re not going.”

“Is something the matter?” Noelle came over. “Won't you join the rest of your knights in celebration? The pfannkuchen are going fast.”

Albedo rummaged a hand through his hair. “It’s nothing, we’re just … trying to reach an understanding.”

“What about?”

“About ‘Bedo refusing to go to Kaeya's party!” Klee huffed, crossing her arms now. 

When she put it that way, it made Albedo sound like he had something against Kaeya's party. But it wasn't the party per se that he was avoiding … 

Seeing this, Noelle patted Klee’s head gently. “Now, now. I’m sure your brother has his reasons. If you aren't going, and if you aren't against it, I could take her?”

Albedo looked at Noelle with surprise. “Ah, but that’s -”

“Pleeeeaassseee??”

Albedo pinched Klee’s cheek. “You really are persistent about this.”

“Ouch!” Klee pushed his hand away. “Please? I’ve never been! I promise I’ll be good!”

“And the moment you get back, you go straight to bed, alright?”

“Yes!”

Albedo smiled tiredly. “Alright then. Thank you, Noelle. And my apologies for imposing on you.”

“Not at all!”

He watched the little elven girl jump up and down with glee before insisting that she got a full dinner with Noelle first before the party. And “No, pfannkuchen is not dinner.”

They had made a lot of it, however. Many knights chose to take some home for their families. Albedo himself had about three or four of the jammy treats before even his sweet tooth decided he should take a break for the day and save some for tomorrow. Then, cleaning up the kitchens was another hour. But by then, the sun had begun to set, and it was just about time for people to go back home for a family celebration or head to town for various evening events. 

Klee and Noelle bid Albedo goodbye as they set off, leaving him behind in the now empty kitchens. 

It was peculiar how quickly his mood shifted when he eventually found himself alone. 

He might as well take the time to process some of his thoughts by himself. 

In his room, Albedo opened his journal, picking up a pen. 

Session 9, XXXX

Albedo paused, and then struck out the words. Force of habit. But it was unlikely they were going to have a session tonight, seeing as Kaeya would be busy at his party. 

Albedo chewed on his pen in thought, mulling over the insights he had gained from his research so far. 

It can be regarded as conclusive that homunculi such as myself feel regular human sensations of arousal and sexual pleasure. 

Besides the confirmation of the above fact, an unintended consequence of these experiments shows that homunculi can also indeed experience romantic affections. 

Or, in the language of the layman, “fall in love”. 

A brief interpretation on “love”:

• Manifests like a state of being (e.g., “a state of being in love”)

• Often characterised by heart palpitations and mood shifts

• Influences sensory perceptions of the world  

• Sometimes induces a dull ache in the chest from a persistent yearning … 

And yet, Albedo couldn't bring himself to look for Kaeya. He spent the most of this week torn between wanting to spend time with Kaeya and wanting to avoid him. 

It had been a little over two months since Albedo first broached his personal research project with Kaeya and it surprised him how much he had learnt about himself … 

And how quickly he can fall in love with someone. 

Well, the sex might have helped, Albedo thought, blushing slightly. He had had to be vulnerable in front of Kaeya, after all. Although, it was to Kaeya's credit as well that he had been so patient, and mindful, and understanding. And always made him feel safe. 

But what should he do now with these newfound emotions? 

Feeling like he was somewhat at an impasse here, Albedo eventually left his journal and headed for the bathroom for a long shower. Penning his thoughts down helped to settle some of his mixed emotions but it did little to cure that “dull ache in the chest”. 

Perhaps, he should take a walk. It was New Year’s Eve, after all. Perhaps, the celebrations would help to take his mind … and heart off some things. 

In a little while, Albedo had made it to the townsquare, surrounded by pretty lights and the hustle and bustle of a cheerful crowd. Some stalls were still open to cater to the merrymakers and sold New Year’s delights - ranging from food and drink to trinkets. Perhaps it was a side effect of being in love, but the city appeared to Albedo particularly beautiful that evening. 

He gravitated to the stalls, buying a sausage roll at one, a potato salad at another, before eventually finding himself down a lane that led to the Angel’s Share. 

There was that subconscious desire rearing again - the great urge to see Kaeya. But anxiety and willpower both stopped him in his tracks. 

“Bowle! Get a sweet cup of bowle here!”

Albedo glanced over at a stall vendor selling the popular beverage, distracting him temporarily from his thoughts. For a second, he considered it. 

Ah, why not? 

He didn't drink much, but the sugary mix went well down. There was only the slightest aftertaste of a fruity alcohol. Before he knew it, Albedo was asking for a refill. 

He imagined himself in Kaeya's party just a few steps away. If he strained his ears, he could make out the raucous laughter from the tavern every time someone opened the door. Albedo wondered what Kaeya was doing. Would he be taking care of Klee? What about the other partygoers? How many charismatic jokes would he crack with them tonight? 

Albedo asked for a third refill.

He told Kaeya he wasn't great at talking to people, but deep down, he knew why he was really wrestling with going to this party. Albedo didn't trust himself not to say anything if he saw Kaeya talking to others - flirting with others. Just like all those times he had observed before. Always someone else hanging off Kaeya's arm.

Albedo might feel compelled to tell him then. Tell Kaeya how he felt. Or, even take Cole’s approach. Maybe ask Kaeya how he felt first. But unlike Hoffer, Kaeya was certain to respond with an initial confusion, and then, after figuring out Albedo’s intentions, perhaps even take on a cold sternness. 

“Please don't mistake our relationship. We’re not that close; we’re just colleagues.”

Albedo downed his cup in a single swig. After that response, he would have to reconcile with probably never interacting with Kaeya ever again.

Suddenly, the crowd around him felt much too suffocating. A discomfort rose in him. He shouldn't have drunk that much. It seemed like the high alcohol content was masked by the drink’s sweetness, and Albedo wasn't used to drinking in the first place. For now, he felt like he needed to get away. 

He eventually found fresh air a little walk away from the city gates. Here, the pretty lights of the city were replaced by dazzling stars. Again, the night seemed wonderful through the rose-tinted lens of love, but at the same time … a profound loneliness overlayed the beauty of the sight. 

Albedo didn't want the crowd. Nor did he want to be by himself either. Albedo knew he wanted Kaeya's company. No, more than that. He wished for Kaeya's affections in return. The mere thought made him lightheaded with joy. 

Albedo stayed under a tree, mulling over his thoughts until the cold of the night gradually got to him and he had to get up, seeking warmth. He made his way back, and was on the bridge to the city when he slowed his steps upon seeing someone ahead. 

Someone that made his heart skip a beat. 

“Albedo,” Kaeya called, speeding up towards him. 

“Kaeya,” Albedo said, surprised. “What about your party?”

“I left early,” Kaeya stopped in front of him. “Klee's still with Noelle. I think they're going to stay a little longer for the fireworks.”

“Oh,” Albedo didn't realise it had gotten so late. 

“What are you doing out here?” Kaeya moved closer, observing him carefully. “Have you been drinking?” 

Smelling the alcohol on Kaeya's breath, Albedo huffed a little. “So have you.”

Kaeya smiled at the retort. “Not very much. I was looking for you.”

Albedo felt the earlier giddy lightheadedness return. Kaeya was looking for him? 

“Why?” he asked, although he was half-afraid the answer might break the illusion. 

“I know you don't like parties, but,” Kaeya paused for a moment, dropping his voice. “I really want to spend New Year’s Day with you.”

By sheer coincidence, as if on his cue, the night sky lit up with a dozen dazzling lights. Albedo’s eardrums were bursting from the deafening fireworks above him, but the drumming of his heart was louder still. 

“Happy New Year,” Kaeya laughed softly. 

Perhaps it was the alcohol clouding his mind, but it was too easy for his heart to be singing at Kaeya's words. For him to pretend that Kaeya also loved him. Albedo’s body moved on its own accord, responding to Kaeya, like they were lovers on New Year’s Day. 

With both hands, he held the front of Kaeya's coat, tip-toeing to reach him. 

And kissed him under the blooming lights. 

Albedo pulled away after, burying his face into Kaeya's coat. He dared not look up at his face. He only wanted to keep dreaming like this. 

“Kaeya, let's go back to my room.”

They fell into bed, tumbling, entangling, a mess of limbs and falling pieces of clothing. Albedo soft moan slipped from him when Kaeya showered his neck with kisses, bare hands running down his sides. 

His mind felt so hazy. Whether from the alcohol or from lust, Albedo did not know. All he could register was Kaeya's knee pressing between his legs and a growing heat pooling. 

It was Albedo who finally shirked off his tights, baring himself to Kaeya. 

“Would you have sex with me?”

Kaeya dived for his collarbone, murmuring. “We are having sex …”

“No, I mean,” Albedo paused to let out a whine as Kaeya slipped a hand under to feel his arousal. He was going to lose his mind like this if Kaeya continued. How could he put it in a way that he'd understand? He didn't want this to end like every other night. They had kissed under the fireworks on New Year’s Day; weren't they already lovers? 

Desperate to prolong the belief, Albedo's mind scrambled, and landed on a memory that could help him - that time Kaeya once taught him to beg. He was flushing deeply as he got into position, but he really needed him to understand …

Albedo swallowed his shame. 

“Kaeya,” he held his knees up. “P - please … fuck me.”

Kaeya’s glinting eye darkened, and Albedo knew he had finally understood his meaning. Fingers moved to grip his thighs with a near-bruising force, as if Kaeya was grounding himself. 

“You’re inebriated,” he gritted out. 

“No, no …” At the response, sounding almost cold to him, Albedo’s world came tumbling down. He felt like he was being crushed. He asked for it, begged for it. Why wasn't Kaeya giving it to him? 

Lips came crashing down on his, a small comfort. Kaeya kissed him hard, tasting every part of his mouth while Albedo tried to keep up sluggishly. 

“How many have you had?” Kaeya asked, although it slipped out more like a growl. 

“Two … three,” Albedo struggled to count, his mind was dissolving. 

Kaeya considered this response. He was deliberating, Albedo could see it on his face. His furrowed brow, lightless eye, hard set jaw. He waited with bated breath, trying to communicate through his eyes … 

But then, Kaeya turned him around, pulling his hips up. “Knees together.”

Albedo did as he was told in confusion. What was happening? 

The question found an answer a mere second later when a hot sensation found its way between his thighs. Kaeya’s arousal was burning and hard as it rested just below his own. Albedo let out a surprised gasp as he felt him. But that surprise soon turned into bitterness when he realised what was going on. 

Kaeya didn't want him. 

“K - Kaeya …” Albedo croaked, wrapped his arms around a pillow under him. He couldn't find any other words to express the ache in his heart right now. 

Kaeya seemed to mistake the response as impatience, and so he drew back slightly before snapping his hips flush against him. His arousal slid between his thighs easily, Kaeya's own wetness acting as the lubricant. An arm curled around him to reach Albedo’s own hardness, pumping him in time with Kaeya's thrusts. 

The sensation wasn't unwelcome. In fact, it was extremely pleasurable. Albedo moaned into the pillow as Kaeya picked up speed. Besides the hand that was stroking him, every thrust Kaeya made rubbed against his most sensitive areas. But most strikingly of all, the movement painfully felt like the sex Albedo wanted. The sex he craved. He closed his eyes, the pillow soaking his tears as he pretended Kaeya was really thrusting into him. 

Pretended Kaeya loved him. 

If he couldn't have Kaeya's love, perhaps he could at least have his lust. Those were his initial thoughts as they crashed onto the bed earlier. Now, even that had been denied, somewhat. 

The room was filled with obscene sounds of skin slapping against skin. Albedo did his best to prolong the illusion as his pleasure climbed, courtesy of Kaeya's expert hand. The pace grew intense, almost frenzied. And being pulled this close to Kaeya every time he thrusted against him, Albedo could feel that he was chasing his own pleasure too. There was some gratification to be found there. Kaeya might be close. But another wave of bitterness consumed him when he realised he was about to reach his own climax without Kaeya being inside him.

A thumb swept over Albedo's tip, undoing him completely at last. 

Behind, Kaeya followed not long after, his rhythm stuttering before releasing between Albedo with a groan. Kaeya leaned over him as he did so, holding his torso in an embrace. Tearfully, Albedo watched as his spent mixed with his on the bedsheets below. 

Eventually, Albedo was manoeuvred back to his front. He covered his eyes with a forearm, passing it off for exhaustion. He was afraid of Kaeya seeing him. 

Afraid of Kaeya finding out that he loved him. 

He dared not say anything as Kaeya swept him into his arms, still kissing him gently. Much too gently for someone who had long decided to close their hearts to the world. 

It was a little too cruel. 

But Albedo now understood Kaeya's sentiments about love completely. 

“You alright?” Kaeya asked, realising Albedo had been silent for a while. 

Albedo wiped away the last traces of his tears and adjusted his expression into a small, shaky smile. 

“I am.”

Chapter Text

The thing is, when Kaeya received a note slipped under the door of his office, he never expected it to be about anything else besides work. 

This was from Mondstadt’s Chief Alchemist, after all. The ever diligent and scholarly Kreideprinz, as he was known. What other intention could he have but to let him know Kaeya might have impeded his work somehow? 

Kaeya,

May I request your sole presence at meeting room XX at noon tomorrow? I’d like to discuss something personal. 

– Albedo

It turned out Albedo wasn't as predictable as he thought. 

But then again, he had specified it was about something “personal”. Although “personal” could also relate to how someone might personally feel about matters of work. 

In any case, he really couldn't have guessed Albedo's request … 

“Would you have sex with me?”

Truly, nothing in the world could prepare him for a question like that. As his tossing coin fell noisily on the table, he stared at the man sitting across him, wondering if those words even came out of his mouth. But since there were only two people in this room, the answer was clear. But it didn't rule out the possibility that he might have heard Albedo wrongly. 

“Say … say again?” 

“I will not,” he said tersely, crossing his arms. “You heard me right the first time. So will you help me or not?”

Oh ho? “Help you? And why is my having - ahem, pardon, sex with you of any help?”

Through some back and forth, Kaeya managed to gather that Albedo was looking to run a little private experiment. On himself. On novel experiences like sex. 

It sounded crazy when Kaeya thought about it later. He even had to check that Albedo was really okay with what he was asking. Kaeya was still having trouble wrapping his mind around that direct of a request, and for something so intimate. 

The Kreideprinz was certainly living up to his reputed inquisitive spontaneity. 

But if Kaeya were to be honest, a small part of him was a little flattered that Albedo asked him. He didn't really believe he was the last option on his list … Surely, it must be because Albedo thought him charming? 

He hadn't had much interaction with the Chief Alchemist before, so Kaeya decided he must put his best foot forward to make a good impression. He sent Albedo some instructions on preparations - just the basic washcloth and bucket of water, as well as cleaning himself. Having heard no reply from him, Kaeya assumed that the alchemist had things down pat. 

But when he entered his room that evening, and Albedo asked whether he was nervous his first time, it didn't take a genius to gather that Albedo was more apprehensive than he was letting on. Perhaps, more than he thought. 

Kaeya pulled a chair over, facing him. “How far do you want to go tonight?”

Confusion swam in his bright, turquoise eyes. Confusion, and then a helplessness, almost. 

“I … I don't know,” he admitted in a small voice.

Kaeya’d have to be delicate. He preferably wouldn't sleep with first timers because of this. When he was looking for a fun and wild night, it was best to find an experienced partner. But he had accepted Albedo's request. And everyone started somewhere. Besides, now that he was seeing some signs of anxiety on his face, Kaeya couldn't help but want to set him at ease.

“How about we start slow? I can take the lead but you tell me to stop whenever it gets too much,” Kaeya offered gently. 

“Alright,” Albedo agreed, relief washing over his face. 

He sat next to Albedo on the bed and asked for his hand - to which Albedo replied by removing his glove before giving it to him. Kaeya tested his comfort with close physical contact, bringing that hand to his lips. 

Albedo's cheeks flushed slightly, but he didn't pull away. He mostly kept his composure. 

Not bad. “How is kissing for a start?”

Albedo’s lips were soft and tentative. But it was Albedo that grasped into him to prolong the kiss, and so, responding, Kaeya deepened it. Quite endearingly, Albedo had begun to copy what Kaeya was doing. 

When they broke, Kaeya’s heart stirred by what he saw. A usually collected face had given in to the heat of the moment, glazed eyes and deep pink cheeks, looking almost red in the candlelight. 

And then, when Albedo stood bare before him, Kaeya found himself gripping the edge of the bed. Smooth and unblemished, the sight of Albedo's skin, his lithe and slender figure, and a barely controlled bashfulness ignited hot desire within Kaeya. He hadn't felt this way about the Kreideprinz before, but the surprise was pleasant. 

Kaeya’s voice was already thick with desire, “Do you still want to continue?”

“Yes,” Albedo responded softly, but affirmatively.

“Come here, then.”

He pulled Albedo to him when he got near, the other man letting out a sound of surprise. In response, Kaeya leaned forward to whisper in his ear. 

“Relax. Let me take care of you, darling.”

It slipped from him so naturally, he wasn't even thinking about it. Kaeya was no stranger to terms of endearment used in bed, but it might be too soon to call his colleague “darling” when they have barely even started. 

But that was an afterthought borne only when he sat in his own room alone after. Just a mere few minutes ago, Kaeya had been drowning in Albedo's moans and light gasps every time Kaeya touched him anywhere. 

“How precious you sound, falling apart like this, Kreideprinz.”

He was so sensitive. So, so sensitive to everything he did. Albedo didn't seem like the flustered sort; he was always so composed. But seeing him crack under that careful exterior made Kaeya heady with lust. 

In his own bed, Kaeya pumped himself to completion with a low groan, the afterimage of Albedo spilling between those very fingers still swimming in his mind. 

It was only when his mind replayed the later scene of Albedo offering him remuneration (really?) for his “services” that Kaeya was reminded how Albedo was a fellow colleague he was only doing a favour for. 

He was just a colleague. But he did meet Kaeya's preferences in terms of physical appearances, although Kaeya never really took note of it before. And he had rather endearing reactions to boot. But most importantly, Albedo seemed like he could keep things professional between them. 

So, when Albedo asked the final question of that night, “Would you see me again, then?”

There was only one answer.

With sincerity, “It would be my pleasure.”

Kaeya remembered his turquoise eyes from the very first time they conversed. 

It wasn't an encounter that was particularly memorable; back then, Albedo was just one of the many that sought a home in Mondstadt. Of course, he did stand out in terms of his immediate station as the Chief Alchemist of the Ordo Favonius, but other than that … 

Oh, right. There was the matter of his birthmark too - the little golden star on his neck.

“Homunculi?” Kaeya had enquired when he ran into the man in an empty hallway. This was the first time he had seen him up close. Besides the birthmark, his facial features had a delicate touch to them, as if painstakingly shaped by a masterful craftsman.  

Albedo looked up at him with mild surprise then, and Kaeya was immediately struck by how vivid his turquoise eyes were, immediately eclipsing the fact that he was undoubtedly borne from the ancient Art of Khemia. 

The memory had since faded somewhat, but Albedo’s eyes had surfaced in his consciousness in recent times. The alchemist had a terrible act of hiding his glances at him whenever Kaeya was near. Of course, perhaps that had to do with the fact that they were now seeing each other regularly for his research, but Kaeya couldn't quite ascertain what Albedo was trying to figure out every time his eyes flitted over. 

Still, it amused him. 

Another thing that amused Kaeya was Albedo's personality. From a stranger’s perspective, Albedo was reticent and might even be described as unfeeling. But with their increased interactions, Kaeya was pleasantly surprised by how much more there was to the initial impression.

He wasn't so much reticent as he was quietly thoughtful. And Albedo experienced emotions just like any other person, even if he might not be able to place or show what exactly he was feeling every time. But part of the fun was learning to read Albedo's little facial expressions. 

First, it was the way Albedo raised his eyebrows at him ever so slightly outside the general store one evening.

“What a lovely coincidence, Chief Alchemist. How do you do?”

“Fine,” Albedo murmured, pausing. “And you?”

Kaeya flashed him his best smile. “Better now that I’ve run into you.”

And then tried to hold back his expression when Albedo’s eyebrows ever so subtly raised themselves in scepticism. It was all for a mere fraction of a second before he turned away, evidently trying to hide his reaction out of Kaeya's consideration. And it made it all the more amusing. 

Then, it was the way his turquoise eyes widened at the store shelves, the way he was lost for words when he was troubled about himself. They were honest reactions, albeit small, but honest. Even with the frankness with which he asked Kaeya for help with his intended purchase that evening. It was … refreshing in a city that sometimes liked to put on too many airs. 

It made him recall a memory that might have otherwise stayed buried in his subconscious for an indeterminable time. 

“Homunculi?” Kaeya enquired, and was immediately surprised by a turquoise as blue as the lakes under a clear summer sky. 

But trouble was stirring in those lakes. Kaeya watched him hesitate for a moment, before he frankly retorted, “Just as much as you are Khaenri’ahn.”

Kaeya smiled at the seemingly placid expression that almost but not quite hid the undercurrent of curtness in his voice. They reached a tacit understanding then that both of them wanted more to their lives than what their ancestry promised (or did not promise), and Kaeya never raised it again. 

He was looking forward to getting to know this new Chief Alchemist more. But alas, their lines of work never quite crossed, and time did make the mind forget. 

However, with all of Kaeya's acquaintances and connections, it wasn't like he remained completely ignorant of Albedo's character. He knew, for example, that he fiercely loved his little sister from the stories she told him. And he knew, for another, that his outward indifference belied a more patient nature from how Timaeus talked about Albedo's teaching. “He's the type that everybody likes,” Kaeya remembered telling someone a while back. Because it was true. It seemed like no one had a bad word to say about the Kreideprinz. 

The closest thing to a complaint was a remark Albedo’s colleagues sometimes made on nights where the drinks flowed more easily. They’d affectionately shake their heads about Albedo's alleged impulsiveness if curiosity got the better of him … which Kaeya found to be true when he experienced it first-hand by a very special request asked of him … 

Since then, it always made Kaeya wonder just what piqued his interest and made his turquoise eyes shine in thought; what puzzles or conundrums occupied the brilliant mind of the inquisitive alchemist whenever he grew still in contemplation like on one particular afternoon. 

Kaeya couldn't help but ask. “Penny for your thoughts?”

Albedo responded almost immediately, like the question had been turning in his mind over and over again, until it was finally granted words. 

“Have you … ever been in love, Kaeya?”

Kaeya laughed. “Maybe. Once upon a time. Who knows?”

Truthfully, no one did. Not even Kaeya, himself. It was difficult to determine what love was. There were too many forms, and too many blurred intersections that Kaeya never quite knew where he stood. Was a father’s hand on his shoulder love? Was a brother’s embrace love? If his heart beat frantically in warmth and in conflict, did that mean it was love? And what if people called it so? The stories he grew up hearing about love were never really what they taught. Even his father who loved him left him. And Diluc who loved him too, was able to scar him in deep loathing. 

All he was certain, was that he wanted nothing of it if loving meant picking up the shattered pieces of his heart after. 

“Kaeya, where have you been?”

“We haven't seen you in ages!”

“You got some other plans or something?”

Such were some of the questions and remarks Kaeya had been getting for the past few weeks. His response was to always scoff lightly, crossing his arms in an indignant fashion. “What do you mean where have I been? I turn up, don't I? After all, I’m here right now.”

“Here” referred to the four walls and two storeys of a dimly-lit old place littered with beer mugs and empty wine bottles called Angel’s Share. It was a sight Kaeya was all too familiar with, visiting it almost religiously every few nights and on weekends. What difference did it really make if he forwent one measly evening in the week? 

The group he was sitting with looked at each other. Beer mugs and wine bottles pausing in their trajectory to the mouth. 

“Listen, Kaeya, you know what we mean,” someone finally sighed, breaking the silence, and attempted to lean their head on his shoulder. But Kaeya adjusted himself away discreetly. 

“I’m afraid I don't,” Kaeya put on a good-natured smile, giving nothing away. “But I do know that Cat’s Tail has an exceptional bartender, who charges reasonable prices for quality drinks.”

From the bar, a certain set of crimson eyes fixed him with a humourless glare. 

“So you're going to Cat’s Tail in the evenings now?” someone else asked in confusion. 

Kaeya shrugged, bringing a mug to his lips. “Sometimes I’m in the mood for card games before bed.”

At this, a barely stifled huff of laughter came from the counter. All eyes travelled over. A figure they didn't see before was now sitting there drawing circles over the rim of her glass with a pointed finger. 

“More specifically, someone else's bed,” she smirked. 

“A regular?”

“You're seeing someone?”

“Since when?”

Kaeya couldn't help a note of annoyance slipping into his voice, especially since a pair of scrutinising crimson eyes had returned on him. “Ahem. Sister Rosaria, I’m sure you don't mean to suggest my private relations so easily.”

“Oh, I’m not suggesting anything,” Rosaria returned. “I’m merely wondering to myself.”

Wondering aloud to the entire tavern, more like, and surely with nefarious intentions too. Slander, Kaeya proclaimed in his head, for the remark was just as good as that. Especially for him who had long declared he was never entering a committed relationship. And then, another part of him was concerned now for Albedo. If Rosaria knew this much just by lurking in the shadows like some vampire avoiding the light, then what was the full extent of her knowing the circumstances around their agreement? 

Whatever the case, Kaeya couldn't let it get out. For his sake, and his own as well … Luckily, she wasn't the only one who had a hobby sticking his nose into things he had no business in. 

“Wondering to yourself?” Kaeya raised a pointed eyebrow. “Just like how I’m currently wondering why a nun skipped evening mass yesterday just to escape to the hills with a bottle of mead?”

Rosaria sighed, rolling her eyes. “Oh, alright. I wasn't being serious.”

Kaeya took a last swig of his beer smugly. “Well folks,” he said to the table, “I’ve a meeting tomorrow morning, so I’d best call it a night.”

“Wait, Kaeya!” someone stopped him as he was standing up. “Um, it was supposed to be a surprise but considering your recent … schedule, we had better tell you …”

“Hm?”

“This weekend. The night of your birthday,” another person continued excitedly, unable to keep the secret for any longer. “We planned something, so you have to come!”

Kaeya scratched the back of his neck. Oh. That. 

It was odd that he felt a little unwilling, but Kaeya nodded, promising his presence. 

When the next morning arrived, Kaeya took a little time to tease a barely-awake alchemist who looked worse for wear at the Favonius meeting table. 

He watched in amusement as Albedo floundered about in question after question after being called.

“Uh, yes,” he nodded from across the table, scrambling slightly as he tried to get his bearings, a rather rare sight that Kaeya enjoyed. “Although the rations could be increased by another ten percent in case of emergencies.”

“Thank you,” Jean now  turned to Kaeya. It was his time. 

“What’s another ten percent in weight? More training for the knights. And besides,” Kaeya flashed Albedo his best smile, “who would dare question the expert opinion of the Kreideprinz?”

Albedo’s eyes darted to him in surprise. “Captain Kaeya, please.”

“Please, what?” he asked, the corners of his lips curling. 

Sitting across him, Kaeya could see a visible blush spreading across Albedo's face, unbeknownst to the blusher himself, of course. “W - What do you mean?”

Kaeya laughed at this, but decided he should put the poor alchemist out of his misery. “Well, if you insist, I could clarify later. But since you're wide awake now, why don't we finish the meeting first?”

Embarrassed to have been caught, Albedo agreed hastily, apologising in a string of murmurs while Kaeya bit back his laugh. 

He waited for the meeting to finally draw to a close before he approached the alchemist again, catching his sleeve. 

“Kaeya?”  

He could barely hold back. “No more ‘Captain’ now?”

Wielding his notebook, Albedo hit him over the head swiftly. “Don't be smart with me. What were you thinking?”

“Only of waking you,” Kaeya rubbed his head, still undetered from teasing him a little more. “You seemed out of it.”

“That's …” Albedo glanced away, and Kaeya could tell he was thinking about something. But he finally shook his head, brushing it off quickly. “That's nothing of concern.”

“Really?” Kaeya raised an eyebrow. “I’d be concerned if Mondstadt’s Chief Alchemist of all people had trouble concentrating during a meeting.”

A sigh escaped Albedo. “I … just had some difficulty falling asleep last night.”

Oh? What could possibly be keeping the genius Kreideprinz up at night? Kaeya rubbed his chin, also thinking. “Hm.”

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

Kaeya took in Albedo's tilted head, his questioning expression. “Actually, there is,” he dropped his voice. “About our private meeting tomorrow night, we might have to postpone it.”

“Oh.”

“Apologies, there's just a small party I’ve suddenly been invited to and … it's a special circumstance,” Kaeya forced a small laugh. “You’re more than welcome to join if you like. We’ll be at Angel’s Share.”

There was a pause, and Albedo looked like he was wrestling with himself a little. At times like this, he really wished he could read minds. The skill would be too convenient. It'd even have helped him all those years ago - helped him realise that no matter how deep one’s professed love was, it could never outdo how deep their hate could run. 

“Um, Kaeya.”

“Hmm?”

“The other day, when you mentioned how falling in love is a personal fault?”

Kaeya stilled a little. Why was he bringing this up now? Could he read Kaeya's mind? “What about?”

“Is … Diluc the reason?”

Involuntarily, his body stiffened in response. He hadn't even fully come to terms with it, himself - Kaeya was still trying to figure it out, for crying out loud. So, to be confronted with a question like that so suddenly … 

Oddly enough, as emotions stirred within him, they also hardened like ice, forming a cold pit in his stomach. 

“Huh. Bit of a loaded question, don't you think?”

Albedo looked down. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, and then met his eye again. “But I have to know.”

“Why?”

Another pause. 

“I …” Albedo hesitated. “I’m just struggling to understand how you arrived at such a belief.”

At the back of his mind, Kaeya knew he was losing control of tightly-held emotions he hadn't allowed himself to feel in years. Perhaps it was the strange ringing echo in the empty room that amplified every word exchanged between them, forcing Kaeya to consider each implication. 

Bitterly, he spilled in a short laugh, “When you fall in love, you entrust your feelings to someone else. And they tend to do with them however they like.”

In the wake of Albedo’s silence, Kaeya added another frustrated line, feeling like he needed to dissipate the echoes of the last, before the implications were cemented in each other's minds and made themselves real.  

“I just have too much self-respect for that.”

Slowly, softly, Albedo responded finally. “I’m not sure if it's … disrespectful to yourself to fall in love with someone. It just means you care a lot about them …”

It just means you care a lot about them? It wasn't like the softer rephrasing would ever change the outcome.  

“What's the difference if the result is all the same?” Kaeya spat. 

“Which is?” 

His hands curled into fists, fingernails digging into his palms. “Opening yourself up to being hurt.”

A breath. “So, you're afraid, Kaeya.”

An ugly, vicious emotion took hold of Kaeya. “Are you going to counsel me, Kreideprinz?” He - no - whatever that was controlling him laughed in derision. “Have you ever been in love?”

“No, but -”

“Yet you assume to know all about love - no, all about me.”

“I - I’m just concerned about you.”

“Save it,” he - it snapped, only concerned with lashing out. “Please don't mistake our relationship. We’re not that close; we’re just colleagues.”

Albedo stopped responding, leaving Kaeya’s last sentence to ring coldly around the room.  

Then, Albedo took a step back, something like hurt in his eyes. 

“I’m sorry.”

Crap.  

There was a moment of clarity that struck him upon meeting Albedo's eyes. 

“No, I -” Kaeya wanted to explain, it wasn't him. It was an emotion - a very terrible, bitter thing that took hold of his mind for a moment, preying on his deepest fears. But he couldn't find the right words to relate that. Angry with himself, he could only let out a frustrated sigh. 

“I apologise. I’ll … see you.”

Kaeya decided he didn't want to wait around for Albedo’s reply. Quickly, he strode past him and out of the room without another word. 

He felt like a horrible human being. 

There was a decent chance he actually was. 

Something about that interaction just now really cut into him, tearing through to his very core where he buried his deepest emotions. And Kaeya’d be lying if he said he wasn't shaken by it.

It was a good thing he didn't have to see Albedo tomorrow. Suddenly, the initial unwillingness he felt towards the party turned into an urgent eagerness. So desperate he was to escape and forget what happened in that meeting room that he even arrived at the tavern early the next evening. 

“Oh? You’re already here?”

“Kaeya, you must be so excited!”

“Glad to see you back, pal!”

A chorus of voices greeted him as the usual bunch arrived with little gifts and trinkets. There was even a cake, too. He allowed himself to drown in bottles of liquor and multiple renditions of birthday songs. Slowly, but surely, the ache that had plagued him since yesterday faded into near non-existence. 

They ordered a champagne tower, challenging each other to drinking games - and Kaeya won almost every one. As the night went on, he almost felt like himself again as a pleasant buzz overcame him and clouded his vision in bright, hazy colours. Pairs of soft, slender arms draped around him, all perfumed smiles and light, playful laughter. 

He chose someone beautiful. Someone he could forget the rest of the evening with. Wine bottle in one hand and the beautiful person in his other, he made his way towards the door.

“Ahem.”

Kaeya barely registered the sound, but his partner for the night turned in the direction of it, and Kaeya was forced to meet a crimson-eyed someone’s disapproving expression. 

“I thought that stopped,” the self-righteous bastard commented. “Don't you have someone else now?”

“Diluc,” Kaeya forced a smile. “I wonder if you are really that daft to realise whom I choose to spend my time with isn't any of your business, or if you do mean to be that unbearably condescending?”

“Neither,” said Diluc dryly. “Frankly, I’m rather concerned.”

Kaeya tightened his grip on the wine bottle as the anger he had worked so hard to bury rose in him again. 

“Concerned? Where was this concern three years ago?” 

The fury in his voice carried, turning heads as everyone paused to watch. Even his partner was backing away slowly. 

At that, Diluc faltered for a moment, but then doubled down with a frown. “Kaeya, this isn't appropriate.”

“And you questioning my decisions is?” Kaeya pointed the bottle at him, raising several gasps about the room. “Don't fucking act like you’re innocent here. You started this.”

“Kaeya,” Diluc clenched his jaw. “You’ve had too much to drink. You need to go home.”

He laughed now, but there was no humour in it. “Oh no, you wanted to talk about why I’m doing this? Why I can't commit to a single person -”

“Stop,” Diluc marched around the counter, looking quite alarmed. “Kaeya, listen, we can talk about this later -”

“No!”

Anger seizing him, he smashed the bottle to the ground, the glass splintering into a thousand pieces. By now, everyone in the tavern was either standing and watching, or cowering in fear. Their reactions should have snapped Kaeya out of it, but his mind only got hazier and foggier with heat, his vision now dyed in a violent shade of red. 

It was hard to tell who lunged first. But when Kaeya saw Diluc take another step towards him, the next thing he managed to register was that they had both fallen to the floor. But there was no pain - only anger, and disappointment, and regret, and red hot anger again. 

He was grabbing, and pulling, and maybe even got in a few blows. The Diluc who loved him, who said he loved him, was yelling at him now. Still leaving him scars that couldn't all be seen. 

“Get off! You’re out of your mind!” the words rang in his ears, but Kaeya was only thinking of someone else's words in his head. 

He had to come to terms with it. 

A deep pain welled from Kaeya's chest, coming out in an aggrieved spat. “He was right - I cared about you, but you couldn't give a rat’s ass how I felt -”

Before he could continue, well, he couldn't have anyway. He was suddenly hit by some sort of liquid that was hurled at them, leaving Diluc spluttering and Kaeya in abject shock. He was pretty sure some of it got into his eye too. Then, he was grabbed and yanked back, causing him to land unceremoniously on the floor, sopping wet in a puddle of someone else's drink. 

“Who the fuck -”

“Wake up!”

A ringing slap was sent across his face. And there was only one other person he knew who could hit him with that much force (that notebook over the head yesterday did actually hurt a little). Blinking away what had gotten into his eye, Kaeya's vision registered a familiar face - Albedo's face, his furrowed eyebrows just showing the barest hint of panic and mild surprise even though the intensity of his emotions must be through the roof right now.

“Albedo …?” 

“We’re leaving,” he said decisively, grounding him immediately. “You need to get cleaned up.”

Two hands held him firmly, helping him up. Kaeya allowed himself to be pushed out of the premises without argument, barely registering the whispering that erupted behind them. It was only when they were on the path leading away that Kaeya finally asked quietly, “Where are we going?”

Albedo replied almost immediately, although he kept his eyes ahead. “My room.”

Hazy as his mind still was from all the alcohol and the remains of his slowly dissipating emotions, Kaeya noticed there was something odd about the way Albedo was walking.

“You're limping,” he said, reaching out for his elbow immediately. “Are you hurt?”

His words sounded so slurred.

Despite that, Albedo seemed to understand him fine, fidgeting a little in his hold. “Kaeya …”

But that was his only protest. He sighed and seemed to have given up struggling. Not that Kaeya was going to let go even if he tried a little harder. For some reason, Albedo had come in this state and Kaeya’d hate for him to miss a step and hurt himself any further. 

Upon reaching Albedo's room, he was shoved into the bathroom. It all happened so quickly he could barely react. Or maybe it was the alcohol in his system that made him feel so sluggish in comparison to the rest of the world. Suddenly, a candle was lit and the door had closed on him. 

“Wash up,” Albedo's voice came from behind the door. 

It took a few seconds for him to get his bearings and fully process what was going on … to the best of his current ability anyway. What really spurred him into action was seeing his reflection in the mirror - a dishevelled, beer-stained, sorry looking thing. He turned on the water and splashed some on his face first before starting on peeling off his clothes …

He came out of the bathroom a while later, meeting Albedo's surprised expression. 

“What happened to your shirt?”

Kaeya held up his stained top. “What do you think happened to it?”

Realisation came over Albedo's face. “Sorry.”

“No,” Kaeya sighed, crossing the room to drape the soiled clothes over his chair. “I needed that. Thank you.”

Silence fell between them. Kaeya felt like a strange mix of emotions he didn't want to address at the moment and was content to let the silence stretch. But he knew Albedo wouldn't feel the same, and braced himself for the next question. 

“Why were you and Diluc fighting?”

Well, if he was going to do this, he might as well take a seat. Heavily, he dropped himself on Albedo’s chair with a sigh. “It probably started when I was about to walk out with someone … and Diluc made an insufferably self-righteous remark in passing. And I … I couldn't let it go.”

Oddly enough, it was Albedo who fell quiet now. When Kaeya looked over, he had his head bowed, expression hidden from him. Still stinging from the whole ordeal, a discomfort began to stir in his chest as he remembered their own altercation yesterday. 

“You're quiet,” Kaeya started. “Are you silently judging me and my lack of desire for any close relationships?”

“No,” Albedo looked up now. 

Following quickly, “Then, are you perhaps perturbed by my casual ones?”

“No,” Albedo clarified hurriedly. 

Kaeya turned his head towards the window and barked out a short laugh. With a bitter taste in his mouth, he found that he couldn't stop himself nor the words slipping from him. “Diluc could learn a thing or two from you. It's nobody's business who I decide to see for a quick fuck.”

Opposite him, Albedo's hands clenched by his sides. 

“But if you wanted a quick fuck, you could look for me.”

Kaeya turned back to Albedo immediately, shocked at first, but not for long. If Albedo was offering … if he was really offering. Kaeya took in his slender frame, posed confidently at first, but now seemed to shrink under Kaeya's gaze.

Every fibre of his body suddenly lit on fire. 

“What if I said I wanted it now?” More words fell out of Kaeya, words he knew carried dangerous implications. Moreso when there was alcohol running through his veins, feeding the flames.

And yet, despite the flush that Albedo had taken on, he kept his chin up. 

“You’re welcome to it.”

Kaeya stood now, approaching Albedo who appeared to fall back, sitting on his bed. Finally, it seemed like there was a minutest of slips in his confidence. Still, Albedo maintained his eye contact, never looking away. It was those goddamn turquoise eyes.

Kaeya's heart was pounding. 

“I’m not sober,” he warned, voice coming out tense as his self-control wrestled with his alcohol-addled brain. “You can still say no.”

Albedo only glanced away once to look at his open notebook. But his eyes were back on him in second, a decision made. “It's … it's for my personal research too, so please …”

“Please, what?” Kaeya pressed. 

He wanted - no, needed to hear Albedo say it. Even if every part of his brain was telling him to ignore anything Albedo could say and pin him down now … 

“Please … do as you will with me,” he breathed. 

Fuck. Albedo was really something.

What happened next was a lust-clouded blur. All he knew were Albedo's slightly-chapped lips, the clean scent of his soap, the strands of his falling hair entangling around his fingers. Despite his addled mind, however, he did notice a familiar glass bottle on the bedside table, evidently used earlier in the evening. 

“You were touching yourself,” Kaeya stated, the very thought riling him up even further. Maybe to the thought of him. “Did you cum?”

“N - no,” Albedo was all wide-eyed and trembling. And the sight made Kaeya want to devour him. He leaned down to kiss him on the neck, tasting his skin. 

“No wonder you're so pent up,” Kaeya murmured against him, whilst palming him through his shorts. “If you wanted it so badly, you could have told me you wanted to be my birthday present.”

He felt like he was drowning. Drowning in lust, in Albedo, in the sweet open-mouthed moans he was eliciting. 

“Don't worry. Now that I’m here,” Kaeya continued, his voice dripping with promise, “I’ll make you cum. I guarantee it.”

Albedo’s clothes came off next by Kaeya's hands in a brazen fashion, but he was far too blinded by his own lust to realise. It felt right, was all that registered in his mind, for Albedo to be laid bare before him, all for Kaeya to pleasure. 

He only paused when his finger, slick with lubricant, touched his opening. It already looked red and slightly puffy - perhaps from earlier. Albedo cried out at Kaeya's touch, squirming away involuntarily. Kaeya immediately thought of when Albedo was limping back from the tavern. It wasn't difficult to put two and two together. 

“You've hurt yourself,” he murmured. “So that's why you were limping.”

Kaeya gazed at the flushed expression. He was in pain, and yet still pliant and waiting, cock leaking against his abdomen. “But you still want to cum, don't you?”

Kaeya paused for his reply. There was a nod, and then a small, “Yes …”

With that response, Kaeya kissed him again, letting his hands roam all over Albedo’s body. He pulled away to drink in the sight of flushed skin and pink lips now coated in the shine of their saliva. An inexplicable sense of satisfaction came over him, ingraining into his brain that he was the one who had pleasured Albedo so. And he couldn't wait to give more. Kaeya lowered his eye to a reddened cock, tapping it on its head with a finger. 

“Well, your pretty cock is just begging to be touched. How about I make you cum from here?”

“Y - yes,” Albedo stammered.

He grasped the leaking arousal then, relishing in the way it twitched in his fingers, relishing in Albedo's moans. Kaeya might be a little too rough - but he was no longer really thinking. Instead, he viciously chased the way Albedo trembled under his movements, his usual composure in complete shambles as he keened with Kaeya's every touch. Gasping, moaning for him … 

Kaeya was losing his mind. 

Swearing beneath his breath, he undid his own belt and reached for himself, already painfully stiff. Kaeya gave Albedo a few seconds to register him, his own cock pressed flush against his. The Kreideprinz, his darling Kreideprinz widened his eyes. 

He slipped his arms under Albedo, pulling him close.

“I can get us both off without hurting you,” Kaeya breathed into his ear. “But only if you want it.”

Please say yes. Please say …

“Okay,” Albedo whispered softly. “I - I trust you.”

Oh, Kaeya was absolutely losing his mind. 

He pulled him up into a sitting position, Albedo’s arms and legs wrapping around him. In this position, Kaeya could feel every part of his lower half of the body. Albedo was so slim compared to him, so delicate, and so warm against him. He sighed at the sensation.

“Do you know how hard you make me every time?” Kaeya rasped unthinkingly, taking Albedo’s hand. “Here, touch for yourself.”

He brought his hand to both their cocks, and bit back a groan as Albedo felt him up. 

Every night since they started …

“Do you understand, now?” Kaeya ran a hand up Albedo’s side. “How you make me feel?”

The desire to possess him completely … 

Albedo gave a small, tentative nod, before seeming to steel himself, and wrapped his fingers around their cocks more firmly. 

“What do you want to do, darling?” Kaeya asked, tone low, and almost sweet. 

“- Cum … M - make us cum together …”

Kaeya's hand joined over Albedo’s, moving together, pumping up and down slowly at first, taking pleasure in the feeling, in the sloppy sounds, loud and lewd in the room. Kaeya’s free hand thumbed over a pink nipple, pulling a gasp from Albedo as he arced beautifully for him. 

Fuck, if Kaeya were a lesser man, he would have long pushed Albedo down and had his way with him. 

Increasing the pace of their hands, Kaeya began to chase after his own pleasure, the heat melting his brain. It was so easy, with the sounds Albedo was making fanning the flames. He let the sensation of Albedo's pristine fingers wrapped around his cock consume him. 

If Kaeya were a lesser man, he’d …

All sorts of thoughts and pictures flooded his mind. Kaeya closed his eyes, matching Albedo’s moans to them.

“K - Kaeya - Kaeya!”

Connected by the hand, he felt the body in front of him spasm, twisting and bucking as he came. In his mind, Kaeya was doing all sorts of unimaginable things to Albedo. Fuck, Kaeya thought, fuck, Albedo was so … 

He released with a low growl, strained and ripped from his throat as he spilled over their hands, on Albedo’s pale abdomen, marking him in his own spent. 

In the end, Kaeya was neither a god nor a saint. As the mortal man he was, he relinquished his self-control for but a moment. In the precious few seconds after he came, Kaeya allowed himself to claim an indulgent kiss from Albedo's quivering lips.

No pretenses. 

Only an adrenaline-filled passion. 

Unfortunately, having fulfilled what he most desired in that spontaneous moment, Kaeya also came to his senses much more quickly. As the high faded from his mind, the throbbing of an alcohol-induced headache returned, and with it, a heavy reminder of what he had just done under the influence. 

“Shit …” Kaeya cursed, scanning the other all over. “Albedo, are you okay?”

Looking overstimulated, it took Albedo a while to find his voice. “I - I am …” 

“Fuck …”

“Why are you swearing?”

Salacious images flashed through his mind in recall. If I had been a lesser man …

Kaeya struggled to control his own breathing. “I … really lost it there.”

“Well, you weren't sober,” Albedo gave a small smile, and Kaeya knew he meant to comfort but … 

He turned away from him, Albedo's words weighing heavily on his chest. 

“It was dangerous - I’m sorry.”

“No, please,” Albedo quickly interjected. “Let's - let's get cleaned up, alright?”

Kaeya pulled away from Albedo slowly, and cajoled in a lighter tone. “You go first.”

He watched as Albedo padded his way to the bathroom. And then, when the door was closed, put on his clothes and made his quiet escape.

In the solitude of Kaeya's own room, he sat pondering over the events of the night. Among the tangled mess within him that were his emotions, Kaeya managed to identify a thread of fear. 

He had drunk on nights he wanted a bed partner before; and was going to walk out with one tonight as well if other … events hadn't transpired. But he had never lost control of himself like when he was with Albedo. 

Albedo, who was just supposed to be a colleague he was helping out. 

It would be … dangerous if he stopped thinking about Albedo that way. 

Yet, his actions just now, and his current emotions, proved he might feel more for Albedo than he’d like. 

Kaeya was well aware of the implications. 

The next morning, he stood outside of Albedo's door with a small tub of soothing ointment. Kaeya wasn't sure if Albedo was awake yet, but he could barely sleep last night and he wanted this weight off his chest …

Kaeya raised his hand to knock.

But paused only a mere hair’s length away from the door. 

If Albedo were to open the door now for whatever reason, he’d see Kaeya standing stiff, his expression practised but frozen. Albedo might even be able to tell with the rehearsed greeting that Kaeya didn't really so much mean “good morning” as much as he meant “I’m sorry …”

“... And I might care about you more than I thought.”

If that did slip out, it was as good as Kaeya delivering his mosaic heart right into the palms of Albedo's hands. 

Kaeya made his decision on the spot, overturning everything he planned. 

He turned and left the quiet hallway with no one the wiser, his hands lighter without the ointment, but heart just as heavy as ever. 

Everyone could tell that Kaeya wasn't in the best of moods when they left Mondstadt for Dragonspine. 

First of all, he hadn't heard any word from Albedo since. And then, at the city gates, when one of his recruits told him someone from the alchemy division wanted to see him before they set off, Kaeya had turned around much too expectantly, only to see Sucrose instead. 

“Anything else I can do for you?” Kaeya politely inquired through his best smiling facade after Sucrose had stated her request. 

“Um, well,” she pushed up her glasses, thinking. “This isn't, um, for me but …. you could probably get a jar of glacial water for Mr Albedo …”

It was like rubbing salt into a festering wound. He could feel his smile slipping. Internally, Kaeya wanted to knock himself unconscious at the reminder of something he was trying to forget, and Sucrose didn't even know it. 

Kaeya could deal with a lot of things. He could deal with how people behaved, and how people responded, toying even, with their idiosyncrasies amd peculiarities if he knew them well enough. But the one thing he couldn't stand was not having control over himself and his emotions. At the mere mention of Albedo’s name, Kaeya at once remembered the frustration towards himself for being so cowardly the other morning. 

Sullen and gloomy, his knights walked on eggshells around him and put in more effort than usual into their training. Gradually, however, surrounded by breathtaking snowy terrain and the relative warmth of the Adventurer’s camp they stayed at, Kaeya began to turn his mind to other things. His knights in particular, did so exceptionally well on their tasks despite the unfamiliar environment that Kaeya was impressed. 

And so, they enjoyed a hearty dinner every night, going to bed early and fed for a well-deserved rest.

By the last night out, Kaeya almost forgot why he was so upset at the beginning of this trip, sitting around a blazing campfire toasting marshmallows. And even after he was reminded as he began to pack his things and remembered Sucrose’s and Albedo’s souvenirs, he didn't feel like his problems weighed as heavily as they did at the start of the trip. 

If he buried the guilt from going overboard the other night, thinking about Albedo didn't incite that pressure around his mosaic heart like it seemed to before the trip. Perhaps it was all the alcohol that night that made him think he cared more than he should. 

Entering the Favonius alchemy laboratory on the next bright, early morning, Kaeya broke into a natural smile easily upon seeing the surprised-looking Chief Alchemist and his apprentice. 

He was even able to tease him a little about his research as he handed over the jar of water. 

“I’m guessing this one isn't also a super secret personal inquiry - ugh!”

But Albedo kicked him on the shin then, hard. And Kaeya didn't quite have time to recover before he was dragged outside by the coat with surprising strength.  

“Ah, Albedo, Albedo,” Kaeya tried to placate. “I apologise - would you allow me to live another day?”

The alchemist let go of him then, and moved a little closer after making sure no one else was around in the hallway. 

“I need to talk to you,” he said quietly. 

Now that he was right in front of him, Kaeya could see more clearly the rushed braids, the loose and messy strands framing his face. And circles under his eyes, grey almost, against his complexion that seemed paler than he remembered. All this combined with Albedo’s sudden change of tone caused the alarm bells in Kaeya's head to go off. What happened? 

“Are you alright?” he asked carefully. “You look like you haven't gotten any sleep.”

“Um. Something's on my mind.”

That sounded much too serious. Anxiety was beginning to build in Kaeya although he fought to appear calm. “Alright then, would you like to find an empty meeting room to talk about it?”

In this empty meeting room that they eventually found, Kaeya occupied a chair next to Albedo, turning to face him, observing the way he stared at his laced fingers in silence. The dread Kaeya had forgotten started to build in again in his stomach as he waited. 

Was Albedo angry at him about losing it the other night? Anxiety prickled on his skin as Kaeya braced himself. Finally, Albedo took a breath. 

“Last week,” he said. “I ran into my subordinate in town …”

Oh. It didn't sound like Albedo was furious? Moreover, last week was when Kaeya left for Dragonspine. Relaxing a little, he leaned an elbow on the table. “Go on.”

“And he told me …” Albedo paused, hesitating. “He told me … he was interested in me.”

Most people were, just some more than others, Kaeya thought. “Ah well, that's not surprising,” he said honestly. “Who is this person?”

“Erich Franz,” Albedo replied, and then followed up quickly, “you don't know him. Please don't look for him.”

Kaeya thought this reaction was unusual.  “Is there any reason I should?”

Albedo seemed to have some difficulty responding to that question. 

“No, but I … extended an invitation to Erich one evening …”

An invitation. One evening. When Kaeya was out of the city.

The implications were not lost on him. 

“For my research,” Albedo clarified, although it really wasn't necessary. 

As soon as it sank in, the dread in Kaeya's stomach started turning into something harder. It was involuntary, and irrational, and he hated himself for it when he realised the budding emotions he felt about Albedo were merely momentarily forgotten and not passed. 

He thought … he really thought … 

By sheer willpower alone, Kaeya controlled his expression, trying to focus on what Albedo was saying next. Some description of the night Kaeya really didn't want to hear. 

Albedo’s eyes were downcast. “But we didn't go past um, the kissing because … because … I had to stop Erich.”

“Stop Erich?” Kaeya cut in, hearing the concerning wording. Suddenly, he needed to know every detail. His voice was sharp when he addressed Albedo again. 

“Tell me exactly what you both did.”

To his shock, instead of replying, Albedo seemed to curl into himself. Knuckles so pale they turned almost white. His figure trembled, and Kaeya had never seen the calm and collected alchemist look this terrified.

“Hey, Albedo?” Kaeya found himself reaching forward for his hands. “You’re … shaking.”

At this, Albedo immediately began to draw deeper breaths. But he hadn't the experience of hiding his every emotion and the failed attempts to make himself stop shaking only turned more desperate.

“Archons, Albedo. What happened?” Kaeya adjusted his tone. It couldn't be that he had caused this, right? “I didn't mean to scare you.”

“I - I’m okay,” Albedo stammered. “I … just … remembered something unpleasant.”

Kaeya thought about their conversation. “From that night?”

Albedo nodded. “Um. But I stopped it. I - I’m fine. Really.”

Kaeya's brain was racing. 

Putting two and two together, Albedo's words could only mean one thing, even if he didn't state it. 

Kaeya realised he didn't need the details anymore. He just needed to make something understood to him. 

“Albedo,” Kaeya began in a slow, barely-controlled tone. “If you want to continue your research, just stick with me from now on. I won't see anyone else either. For your safety too.”

Albedo blinked at him. “Are you … okay with that?”

This question annoyed Kaeya.

“Why wouldn't I be?”

Albedo fell silent again.  

“Just look for me,” Kaeya reiterated firmly, standing up now. “There are too many people with ill-intentions out there.”

When he left the meeting room, he found that Albedo’s acquiescence to this new exclusive arrangement did not completely alleviate the hard knot in his gut. Because Albedo wasn't the only one that needed to understand something. 

It didn't matter that Albedo told him not to seek him out. In fact, on the contrary, it made the livid broiling within him worse, threatening to spill over and burn anyone unfortunate enough to cross paths with him at the moment. 

Even though his face didn't show it, everyone who could read his body language and posture quickly disappeared from Kaeya's view as he strode to the training room, thanks to a little tip off from a terrified knight he managed to catch. 

He entered the place, doors clanging behind him, and turning every head in the vicinity. Eye locking on to the single person he had been meaning to find, Kaeya froze him in his spot with only a stare. 

“Uh, Captain Kaeya,” the knight, having been interrupted mid-spar with a dummy, now greeted him in evident discomfort. “Are you looking for me … sir?”

Kaeya smiled at him. “Erich Franz?”

“That's me,” he looked surprised that Kaeya knew his name. 

“Draw your sword.”

“S - sorry?”

Kaeya now pointed his own blade at him, repeating himself clearly. “Draw your sword.”

Erich looked down at the wooden sword he had in his own hand. He raised it half-heartedly, mostly in fear as he glanced back at Kaeya. The other knights around them had either dispersed or were hiding somewhere, watching from a safe distance. And to those knights, Kaeya only slightly turned his head at them. 

“Unless you wish to be witness to something quite unfortunate, I suggest you take your leave.”

Getting the message, the knights scattered quickly, leaving Kaeya and a pale-faced Erich in the empty training room.

“Captain Kaeya - I …” Erich backed away as Kaeya advanced on him. “Please, what is going on?”

Kaeya raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Do you mean you don't remember? It was only a week ago.”

“A week ago …” Erich echoed, eyeing the cold glint of Kaeya's blade with trepidation. 

“Hm, I’ll give you five seconds to think about it -” and that was the only warning before Kaeya lunged at him. 

A thwack sounded as Erich managed to fend off the first blow. But it was a diversion for the second strike that came much faster, cutting through his wooden sword cleanly. With horror, Erich watched the splintered piece hit the floor with a hollow thud. He then tried to dodge away, but Kaeya tripped him, and swung his sword …

In exactly five seconds as promised, Kaeya had him pinned under a boot, the tip of his sword a mere inch away from Erich's neck. 

Erich pressed the heels of his palms against the flat sides of Kaeya’s blade, gritting his teeth with effort. 

“Well?”

“It’s …” Erich breathed heavily. “It’s about Captain Albedo …”

“Oh, so you do remember,” Kaeya dug his boot into his chest, crushing a groan out of him. “That makes things a lot easier. Listen here, Erich. I’m busy and don't have a lot of time to waste on vermin like you. So, I’ll cut straight to the point. Do you value your miserable life, Erich Franz?”

Erich nodded frantically. 

“Then you will do this: from this day on, you will transfer to Cavalry and serve solely under me. Do you understand?”

“Y - yes, Captain.”

Kaeya pushed the tip of his blade right up against the skin of Erich’s neck, causing him to draw a sharp breath. “And your first order from me: you will never again speak to Captain Albedo nor appear within a 10 feet radius around him. Clear?”

“Yes - yes, Captain,” Erich squeezed his eyes shut. 

Kaeya had never known himself to be particularly possessive. He had slept around with multiple partners who had themselves slept around with others too, after all. But something about Albedo, and him being the only one to see Albedo made his chest swell with satisfaction. Erich forswearing any and all interactions with Albedo (to which Kaeya will certainly see to) almost made the hard knot undo itself in his stomach completely. 

Almost. 

Come the next time he and Albedo met under the moonlight, Kaeya finally allowed himself to act on his irrational need to hear a promise from his darling’s lips. 

“Beg for release,” Kaeya’s voice was strained and breathy, his fingers rubbing at a particular spot in Albedo under him, with only a single-minded focus on taking him apart. His leaking cock twitching in a pretty bow, moans fell from Albedo as orgasm eluded him despite the onslaught of concentrated pleasure Kaeya sent throughout his body. Albedo was struggling to pull his mind together. It seemed he needed some help. 

Kaeya decided to throw him a rope, leaning down to whisper. “Tell me how much you need to cum, darling.”

“I - I …” In Albedo’s current state, he was probably only hearing the words, barely registering what he was repeating after. “I - I need to c - cum … Please, Kaeya!”

“Tell me you’re mine,” Kaeya growled in his ear. 

Albedo was gasping through his tears, not at all understanding. “I - I’m yours, Kaeya … all yours. So, please let me c - cum!”

But it was enough. 

“That's right,” the knot in Kaeya's stomach undid itself fully, softened and placated by Albedo’s precious promise, even if it didn't mean anything after the night was over. 

“Remember that you're mine.”

Perhaps taking Albedo's cue, Kaeya said his own piece to throw away to the wind later. Anything could happen in the heat of the moment, after all. So, conveniently blaming it on lustful fervour, Kaeya undid the knot on Albedo too, and greedily kissed him all over as he sobbed and cried and pressed up against Kaeya with his warm, pliant body shaking in a hardwon orgasm.

Just before the moment was over, Kaeya captured Albedo's mouth in one last kiss. It was all he could do from saying something more implicating. 

Unfortunately, Albedo had an uncanny knack of hitting the nail right on its head even on pure coincidence, and he wouldn't let Kaeya escape so easily. As Kaeya cleaned himself after Albedo, the alchemist broke a long silence upon Kaeya’s innocent question on his well-being. 

“I was only thinking …”

“What about?”

“Your being afraid of falling in love.”

What was almost an absent-minded cleaning of himself became a frozen, high-tension tableau as Kaeya’s hand became rigid. 

Guardedly, Kaeya asked, “You're still thinking about that?”

“Do you … still feel the same?” In front of him, Albedo was lacing his fingers together.

At that time, Kaeya didn't even stop to consider why Albedo might be asking such a question. Instead, he only felt torn. It was just the trouble that currently weighed in his heart. If this were any other person, Kaeya would have walked out of the room, let alone allow himself to open up. But this was Albedo. Albedo, the Kreideprinz, Chief Alchemist, his colleague, his current bed partner, his exclusive partner that not long ago, had barely managed to stop him from pummelling someone he once cared about - Albedo whom Kaeya evidently now cared enough about to threaten someone else's life over. 

And therefore … 

Kaeya's mosaic heart quivered in his chest.

“Well,” he ran a hand through his hair. 

“Well, what?”

“Is it wrong for someone to be afraid of getting hurt?”

In the echo of his hanging words, Kaeya somehow managed to find within himself the courage to say a sliver of what he wanted to say one morning standing outside a closed door with a tub of ointment in hand a little more than a week ago. 

“Even now … I think I’m still a little afraid.”

“Everything has its risks,” Albedo didn't let him sit in that, almost interrupting at the end. Surprised, Kaeya could only listen to him rattle off. 

“But it doesn't mean you should stop trying after one failed experiment … I think you just haven't found the right person.”

At that, Kaeya raised an eyebrow in questioning. What ever happened to self-preservation - or did homunculi not possess something like that? “So if it were you, you’d take the risk of getting hurt over again for the small chance of finding that ‘right person’?”

“I wouldn't have found you otherwise,” Albedo blurted.

Then, almost immediately, panic came over his features. “I - I mean for this research of mine! And … and I confirmed you were the right partner after trying with Erich too - ah!”

Kaeya flicked his forehead, moving purely on sheer annoyance. “Never do that again. It's dangerous, alright?”

Sheepishly, Albedo nodded and held his forehead. “But you get my point.”

He supposed. “I think I can see where you are coming from …”

“So …”

“So, thank you for your thoughts,” Kaeya ended it there, turning back around to put on his clothes. “You should get some rest.”

And Kaeya should get going. 

That night lying in bed, he had a lot to think about. But the one sentence that stuck, that really stuck was: 

I wouldn't have found you otherwise. 

It was obviously taken out of context, but for some reason, Kaeya found himself wanting to believe in it. 

Who can really say that the right person didn’t exist anyway? 

Albedo might be on to something, even if it did seem like an incredible risk to be gambling with the pieces of his heart. 

Still. 

What if this time … 

Kaeya sat up from the bed. It wasn't a bad thing to be curious. Wanting to know someone better didn't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. It’ll only take up a bit of his time, he wagered. 

Kaeya placed a safe bet. 

Then, he tossed a coin high up into the air, smiling as he whispered a little joke for its amusement. 

It was a delightfully amusing thing to know that Albedo knew about Kaeya planning this entire thing. 

The thing being their romantic rendezvous up a snowy mountain. 

Except, they were accompanied by about thirty or so knights and recruits. And couldn't see each other for much of the day as they had work to do. Or rather, Albedo had work to do. Kaeya just had time to spare pretending to do work. But what he was really up to was observing Albedo whenever he got the chance. 

So, it wasn't exactly romantic. But Kaeya was alright with that. Even if nothing happened, the objective here was really just getting to know more about Albedo (outside of their nighttime activities). It was a relatively safe bet. One that he was unlikely to lose even if he didn't win anything. 

But there was a way to turn the odds even more to his favour. 

Kaeya bided his time, and jumped on the golden opportunity when it finally presented itself on their first evening. He watched it all unfold from a distance - a knight accidentally packing a smaller tent that two other had to share, and then Albedo stepping in to placate the horrified individuals by offering his own tent in exchange … 

Naturally, Kaeya tore down his own tent before heading to Albedo. 

“Good evening,” he greeted with a wide smile as he crawled into the space. 

Shamelessly, he began to unpack his things while Albedo seemed to have turned into a statue where he sat. Eventually, the sight of him unrolling his sleeping mat was apparently too much for him as Albedo finally spluttered, “You’re sleeping here?”

He hid a curl of his lips, keeping his eye down. “Ah. Emma didn't tell you? ‘Twas a bad slip of the mind but I forgot to pack my own tent. So I asked around for a spare and that's when the kind girl said yours should fit me too.”

There was a brief moment where Albedo just kind of stared in disbelief at their touching sleeping mats. 

“It’s too cramped,” he eventually said, looking rather put out.

“Nonsense!” Kaeya laughed as he adjusted the warming lamp at the end of the tent. “Just be careful not to knock into -”

Just then, a fast movement distracted Kaeya. Looking over properly, he saw that Albedo had grabbed his small pillow and wedged it between them. “This is a work trip,” he emphasised quite strongly. “There will be no … funny business, alright?”

Kaeya grinned. “Like what?” 

“You know what!” Albedo hissed before diving into his blankets in annoyance. 

Kaeya was left smiling at Albedo's back when he eventually lay down to sleep in the shared tent, taking care not to disturb the little pillow Albedo so emphatically placed between them. And that about concluded their first, unromantic night together.

The next few days were similarly uneventful in terms of new developments between them, but Kaeya was content to keep his distance a little during the day and just watch Albedo go about his work. And even though Kaeya had learnt to read much of Albedo’s expressions and mannerisms over time, he still kept finding out new things about him - like the way he scrunched up his eyebrows when annoyed, the way he blinked in surprise when Kaeya asked a question about his favourite pastime, and the way his face would light up ever so subtly whenever he was passed a sweet treat after dinner. 

Over the next few days, Kaeya also noticed, most amusingly, that Albedo was beginning to feel a little self-conscious about this trip the more he thought about it. And Kaeya knew he was thinking about it by the way Albedo glanced elsewhere quickly if their eyes met on accident, and yet stared almost fixedly at the pillow between them every night. Kaeya knew Albedo knew something was up, but it was rather endearing to watch him second-guess himself without any evidence.

Albedo's frustrations finally came to a boiling point on the fifth and last day of their trip. In the midst of the celebratory bonfire preparations, Albedo stopped Kaeya on his way to deliver some firewood.

“Come with me,” he said plainly. 

Kaeya feigned happy ignorance. “Ah, Captain Albedo, do you need my assistance with something?” He paused for a bit to take in the furrowing brows with much amusement. “Do you think it could wait until after I set these down?”

“Drop the act, Kaeya,” Albedo snapped. “I know you planned this entire trip with a certain agenda.”

It seemed he couldn't hide it any longer. Drawing out his sentence, he gave Albedo a knowing smile. “Oh, I see what this is about. Hey, you there, get these to the bonfire site.”

After offloading his firewood to a passing recruit, Kaeya followed Albedo back to their tent. He couldn't resist teasing him a little about it. 

“See, I knew this tent would grow on you.”

That earned Kaeya a swift whack to the head by Albedo’s pillow. “The issue has never been the tent. It's you.”

Kaeya put on his best hurt expression. “How you wound me, dearest Albedo.”

The affectionate term slipped from Kaeya without much thought, but Albedo was too caught up in his interrogation to process that anyway. “Enough stalling,” he narrowed his eyes. “Tell me honestly now, for what purpose did you devise this combined trip to Dragonspine?”

Here, Kaeya was about to say something that would probably frustrate him more, but Albedo was too quick to cut in, “I won't accept ‘mere convenient coincidence’ for an answer.”

So, Kaeya laughed. Threw his head back laughing, hands raised in the air. 

“Alright, alright, I’ll come clean. The reason may not be what you expect, however.”

“What is it?”

Kaeya smiled at him, pausing a little to set the stage for his next sentence. 

“Albedo, I just simply want to get to know you.”

Kaeya could see surprise register on Albedo's face, although it quickly morphed into disbelief. 

“No, I don't think so.”

“Can you prove otherwise?” Kaeya challenged.

To that, Albedo let out a huff. “That question is an admission of guilt.”

“Not even close,” Kaeya laughed again, before bringing back his expression of hurt. “Dear me, do you have that bad of an impression of me? Truly, I am hurt.”

He allowed a moment of silence for Albedo to deliberate this. Kaeya understood why he might be wary. After all, it wasn't like they had agreed on anything outside of meeting for Albedo's personal research. 

Kaeya tried to read the gears turning in the alchemist’s mind as his expression turned pensive. It made Kaeya question himself too. Is wanting to get to know someone really that unbelievable coming from him?

But if Kaeya were to be honest …

Really, and truly honest …

There was something else he was omitting too. 

It was a petty thing. Probably not very becoming of someone in his position - just colleagues with … certain conditional benefits. But still. 

In a half-joking tone, Kaeya broke the silence. “Besides, it's the weekend and who knows if you’ll start looking for someone else to share your bed again.”

He was promptly met with a faceful of fluffy pillow again. “That's not funny,” Albedo protested. 

“No,” Kaeya agreed, quietly, slowly, feeling the half-hearted attempt at humour falling away to something that came a little more from the centre of his chest. “Which is why I remain confused when you questioned if I wanted to continue doing this with you.”

“When did I …” Albedo trailed off as he frowned in concentration.

But the memory was still very much fresh in Kaeya's mind. A loose end from the week that he hadn't managed to tie. 

“Albedo. If you want to continue your research, just stick with me from now on. I won't see anyone else either. For your safety too.”

“Are you … okay with that?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

Eventually, it seemed like Albedo also arrived at the same page. “Oh. That. Well …” He seemed a little conflicted here, but decided to press on after a moment. “Well, two weeks ago, on the night of your birthday, you left a little abruptly … so I thought -”

“That I didn't want to continue this anymore?” Kaeya was mildly surprised that that affected him.

“I wasn't sure,” Albedo swallowed, looking down. “I really only asked Erich for data comparison … and to assess his suitability as a possible second partner in case -”

“Don't do that again,” Kaeya's voice came out a lot harder and stronger than he wanted to control.

“I know, I know,” Albedo responded remorsefully. 

“And, for the record,” Kaeya started, recalling the night of his birthday again. He supposed he owed an explanation too, since he wasn't able to tell Albedo what came over him the morning after and all. Kaeya chose his words carefully. “That night I left abruptly because I was … afraid of hurting you.”

Albedo tilted his head in question. “Of hurting me?”

“I wasn't sober and pushed a lot of things …” Kaeya admitted with a sigh. “It was really dangerous.”

Albedo blinked at him for a second. But he was quick enough to pick up on the implications, on Kaeya's emotions, despite how much he was holding back, even in this moment. 

“Kaeya, it was all consensual,” Albedo assured him almost urgently. “And - and I frankly don't think I trust anyone more than you …”

But it didn't really make him feel better. 

“That's just it,” Kaeya murmured. He could feel it all slipping out now. All he wanted to say at his door that morning after, all he was afraid to say … all tumbling out. “Your trust is … invaluable. I never want to betray it. I never want to betray the trust of someone I care about again.”

Ah, the words were out before Kaeya could really help it. 

And poor Albedo, who must feel so uncomfortable at the moment, even reached out a hand for a second, before retracting it. Albedo, who disliked most social interactions, felt compelled to comfort him. And all because Kaeya couldn't get himself out of the quicksand of emotions drowning him until it was far too late. But since he couldn't take back those words and stuff them into his mouth again, he forced a small smile instead. 

“Don't worry about it. My apologies for dampening the mood.”

To his surprise, Albedo began rummaging through a rucksack.

“What are you doing?” Kaeya asked, the confusion an effective lifeline in the quicksand.

“One moment,” Albedo said, making quite a mess of the insides of his bag, Kaeya was sure. “If I’m not wrong, Klee packed … ah! Here they are!”

And then, to Kaeya's greater surprise, Albedo turned back to him and held up two pairs of metal blades.

Kaeya stared at the shiny things. “Ice skates?” 

For some reason, Albedo began to look excited the moment Kaeya identified them. And this was certainly a first. So eager he was to drag Kaeya to a lake out that he didn't have the heart to stop him, even if Kaeya wasn't exactly feeling it. And one of the pairs of skates definitely looked too small for either of them …

Not to mention, the lake wasn't even frozen.

“Ah, the temperatures,” Albedo babbled, excitement dying into embarrassment. “The temperatures have been getting warmer. Leyline reports also indicate -”

Kaeya scoffed, stepping in front of him. “Stand behind me.”

He may not be in the mood for ice-skating, but he certainly wasn't in the mood for disappointing Albedo either. And well, fuck it, since they were already here anyway. And Kaeya had already bet his time on this trip … 

He kind of wanted to see where it would lead.

Kaeya sent a frigid wave of Cryo across the lake with his sword, the sheer cold of it freezing the lake waters instantly. When the chill dissipated, he turned to Albedo who looked at him as if he just pulled off a miracle. 

Well, Kaeya felt a smile tugging at his lips, he supposed he kind of just did. 

“Shall we?”

Flushing a little at being caught staring, Albedo stammered. “Ah … yes.”

Already, Kaeya's mood was beginning to change. 

Soon, he found himself at the edge of the frozen lake, extending a hand to Albedo who wobbled over on skates too small for him. There was something oddly warm about this all, despite the fact that they were in the middle of Dragonspine away from the bustle and noise of their knights and the bonfire site. There was a quiet about the scene, but not the sort that made one feel lonely. Here, in the quiet of freshly fallen snow and gentle sun, Kaeya could feel more tangibly the grasp of Albedo’s hand on his, and hear more clearly the gasp of surprise he let out as Kaeya led him onto the ice. 

It was a strange sort of quiet that highlighted anything and everything about Albedo in the present moment. 

Even after Albedo’s warmth slipped from Kaeya's hand as he pushed himself off to skate freely across the ice, all Kaeya could see and hear and feel still, was how happy he was. Nose kissed by the cold and blushing, Albedo turned his head to find Kaeya. 

There was a clear light in his eyes as he waved an arm at him. “Come over here!” 

At his beckoning, Kaeya skated to his side immediately. “Having fun?” 

Albedo nodded eagerly, pushing off as Kaeya followed. “Klee and I haven't done this in years - and I almost forgot how it feels like to just let go.”

He sounded so free and so open that Kaeya had to laugh, an emotion swelling in his chest. “Uh huh. Sure feels nice, doesn't it?”

“Don't you feel the same way?” Albedo asked, reaching for Kaeya's hand next to him. 

“You’re asking if I feel like I could let go?” Kaeya was surprised. 

Then, Albedo took hold of both of Kaeya's hands, pulling him along across the lake. “And whether you're having fun at this very moment.”

Letting go and having fun, huh. His past, his fears, his burdens did seem a lot more faraway. 

Especially right now, in the present. 

In the quiet that foregrounded Albedo’s soft, breathless laughter.

They spun circles around each other before finally pulling so close that he could see their breaths mix in the cold. But the warmth in Kaeya's chest only grew. 

It seemed like Albedo felt the same.

“Kaeya, right now, I feel like my heart is bursting.”

That was about the moment when Kaeya’s mosaic heart decided it wanted to know where it could go with Albedo more than it feared being broken again. 

Later that night in their tent, Kaeya was losing his mind about Albedo’s wet lips parted around his length. Part of him still couldn't believe that this was happening. It felt so sinful to be doing this in a small tent, just a few feet away from another. Kaeya felt absolutely lecherous brushing back blond strands of hair to reveal Albedo’s flushed face and pink lips, and the length of his own cock disappearing into them, sullying his mouth. 

But fuck, if the whole crazy situation didn't make it all the more arousing.

“Archons, you're doing amazing.” It even got Kaeya swearing on the damned gods. 

The nail in the coffin was when Albedo tried to take him all the way in, actually getting his cock to hit the back of Albedo’s velvety throat. He gagged around it, tears filling his turquoise eyes, but held himself there for a moment - good boy - before Kaeya was pulling a spluttering Albedo up. 

“Hah … K - Kaeya, I can still -”

“I’m close,” Kaeya gritted out, taking over and stroking himself furiously. “If you want it, put your mouth near me and show me your tongue.”

A pretty mouth opened before him. Kaeya wanted to engrave this picture in his mind forever. 

He spilled messily all over, cum staining Albedo’s mouth, tongue, his face. It was a while before he could stop. That should have signalled how devastating Albedo's effect was on him, and yet the alchemist was blabbering nonsense when they both recovered. 

“I - I’m sorry, I wasn't able to make you cum -”

Kaeya kissed him, drowning the rest of his words. When they broke apart, he was turning Albedo around, pulling his back to his chest. 

“You did plenty. Now, let me take care of you, darling.”

And took care of Albedo he did, positioning him on his lap and making him cum on his hand just a mere few minutes later. Kaeya had a hand clamped over his mouth while Albedo's fingers dug into his skin as he came. But Kaeya didn't mind at all; he was much too preoccupied relishing in how Albedo trembled all over and fell apart at his touch. 

They cleaned up quickly, and Kaeya was looking forward to falling asleep together after. But of course, Albedo had to get up and write his research notes. Kaeya hoped he put in a good word about him.

Beset with a sudden onset of drowsiness, Kaeya decided to settle down in the blankets first. For a while, he stayed up, waiting. Although he was tired, Kaeya felt a little restless. A little cold. 

“Albedo,” Kaeya yawned.

The scratching of a pen on paper stopped. “You're still awake?”

“Come here.”

Kaeya caught Albedo in his arms, manoeuvring him around. Eventually, he had the smaller man lying in front of him, back against his torso. Kaeya’s arms came around him then, pulling him even closer. Albedo grew still against him, relaxing too.

This felt nice. 

Really nice. 

It feels like …

Kaeya rested his chin on Albedo's head, letting himself fall into the warmth. 

Feels like falling in love.

Oh, Kaeya was pretty sure of it now. 

After they returned from Dragonspine, Kaeya did about anything to get Albedo's attention. He made light touches on Albedo's hands and arms whenever he could get away with it, extended lunch invitations (although none were accepted), and even routed an entire delivery of alchemical supplies to his office. Just so he could spend more time with the blond alchemist. 

And when Albedo asked him about it … “Kaeya, did you have something to do with the delivery of these parcels?”

Kaeya could barely pull himself back from saying, yes, he did - yes, he had everything to do with it, all because … 

Well, honestly, he still had a hard time believing it, admitting to it. But he wasn't so obstinate to ignore what was happening despite his own fears. So, in his mind, a small voice whispered back in quiet confirmation. 

Because he was in love. 

He didn't say that out loud though. Instead, he shifted a box of alchemical supplies to one arm, feigning innocence. “Hm? How do you mean?”

The tricky thing was, although Kaeya knew Albedo reacted to him and his touches and lunch invitations and masterful schemes that allowed him to see the alchemist more often, Kaeya wasn't sure if Albedo was reciprocating. In fact, he wasn't sure if Albedo would reciprocate. After all, the faint blushes and pulling away of his hands whenever Kaeya got too close seemed like a natural response to, well, anyone in his personal space really. Perhaps the only reason why Albedo hadn't told him off in anger was the fact that Kaeya was still seeing him for his research every week. And Albedo couldn't exactly burn any bridges there. 

Ah, Kaeya thought as he fell back on his bed one evening after finding a bottle of shoe polish outside his door. But surely, he’d have noticed something was up, right? Surely he’d have pieced it together and figured it out eventually. 

Kaeya held up the bottle of shoe polish. The exact same brand and bottle he bought after running into Albedo outside the general store weeks ago. How thoughtful. Although there was no note, knowing Albedo, it was probably an apology for being a little difficult to tend to when he injured his forehead that same day Kaeya re-routed - helped him move his supplies to the laboratory. 

Still, a man could dream, couldn't he?

Damn it. Kaeya turned to the side, gripping on the bottle. I really want to tell Albedo. 

At the same time, it wasn't like Kaeya had completely lost all sense of self-preservation. His fears couldn't miraculously be cured overnight, of course. But Kaeya had a work-around. If he could charm Albedo enough, both in bed and outside … perhaps he’d stand a better chance. 

Even though the opportunity to tell him, and have Albedo like him enough to reciprocate could only come to be months or years later or …

Better not to think of the extreme, Kaeya shook his head.

Still, the point was, to play it on the safer side for his own heart, Kaeya wanted to be absolutely sure Albedo liked him enough before telling him. 

That was the plan. 

That was the plan, and yet … 

The evening he and his squadron returned from clearing trade routes of Treasure Hoarders (who tended to be more active at this time of the year when merchants and travellers were returning home to their families), they were caught in a terrible storm. They returned fairly late, much later than Kaeya had accounted for, anyway. And everyone was drenched and bone-tired from fighting off the ferocious gales of the sudden tempest. 

Kaeya had only just gotten back to his room from giving Jean a brief report, absolutely exhausted and still dripping from his clothes. And then, a knock sounded on his door. 

He dragged his feet across the floor. It was late and Kaeya wanted to pass out on the bed. He was ready to be ill-mannered about it too, if the visitor couldn't get the hint. But to his utter surprise, he opened his door to none other than Albedo. 

Kaeya thought he was dreaming. 

It was Albedo with a warming lamp in his hands, looking like an absolute angel as he stared up at Kaeya in relief. 

He was worried about him? 

“Here, take this,” Albedo said, taking Kaeya's cold hand and closing his fingers around the warming lamp. 

How could he even begin to describe the wave of emotion that overcame him then? All he knew was that he was placing his hand on Albedo's shoulder, and pulling him into a sudden hug. 

I really, really want to tell him. 

Kaeya wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out. 

A few days later, he could barely stop himself from being too overt with his words while conversing with Albedo at the public alchemy table. And Klee was there too. Still, when Albedo looked up at him with that disapproving expression and told him he shouldn't have given Klee his Mora, Kaeya couldn't help himself. 

“I wouldn't for anyone else but you.”

Kaeya watched Albedo's mouth fall open. It was a very satisfying sight. It made Kaeya want to elicit more expressions, more reactions from the alchemist. 

He invited Albedo and Klee to his New Year’s Eve party. Kaeya wanted to see how far he could push it. After all, this wasn't an impromptu lunch invitation where its suddenness could be made into an excuse to decline. This party was happening in a few evenings. And surely not even Albedo would choose be working on New Year’s Eve, right? 

Somehow, Albedo still came up with a reason. “I don't know …” he said, pinching his nose. “I’m not great at - um, talking to people.”

Kaeya didn't skip a beat. “You can just talk to me, then.” 

And he was serious about it too. He’d much rather keep Albedo company for the entire night than be with his knights. 

But Albedo turned away from him. Kaeya couldn't see his expression now, so a part of him feared he might have really annoyed him now. Was he being too pushy? 

Albedo's final response was delivered in a strangely indifferent tone that seemed to be masking a bit of internal conflict. “I - we’ll see if we have some time.”

Alright. Kaeya could accept that. Kaeya could work with that. 

The next thing Kaeya did was talk Klee’s ear off about the party for the next few days. Yes, there’ll be unlimited grape juice. Yes, Klee could invite Fischl, Razor, and Bennett too (Kaeya will just have to take a few precautions). Yes, it will be an absolute blast even if she couldn't show off her new set of Dodoco bombs. 

Then, on the day of the party, he brought Klee out to the shops for some fun, and before letting her go, knelt down and instructed the elven girl very carefully. “Listen, Klee, I’d love to have you at this party, but I still need your brother to agree to it. You understand right?”

She nodded a little sadly. “Yes, but ’Bedo still hasn't said anything.”

“Don't worry,” Kaeya said assuringly. “I know just what to say to persuade him. You’ll try it, won't you?”

Klee nodded eagerly. “What?”

“You should let him know, that even though you love his New Year's Eve pfannkuchen cook-off, it would be the absolute best New Year's Eve ever if you both could come to my party!”

“Okay, I’ll try that!” the girl gave her promise, eyes shining. 

Kaeya let her go after, having absolute faith in her. No one could really protest when Klee was serious. Not least of all, her dearest brother. Kaeya was feeling rather confident about it, and began preparations for his party in a jovial mood. 

Even after the party was in full swing, and people started filling the tavern, Kaeya was feeling pretty good. Albedo and Klee might be having dinner now. They should be coming over soon. 

Kaeya was in the midst of settling the bill with Charles for a toppled wine rack after Bennett had passed it when the door to the Angel’s Share opened to a bright voice. 

“Kaeyaaa!”

“Klee!” Kaeya greeted enthusiastically. “Wonderful of you to make it! Now that you’re here, could you keep Bennett company please -”

His voice trailed off when another figure came in after Klee. A figure that was not decidedly not a certain blond alchemist. 

“Miss Noelle,” he said as she curtseyed in greeting. 

“I’ve come to accompany little Klee,” Noelle explained, then smiled a little apologetically at him. “It seems I’m not the person you’re hoping to see.”

“No, no,” Kaeya snapped out of it quickly, putting his smile back on. “You are very welcome here, Miss Noelle. Please help yourself to anything and enjoy yourself.”

Kaeya didn't need to look for Klee to know how his plan had gone this afternoon. It seemed even more obvious to him now that Albedo made the decision to send Klee here whilst specifically excluding himself. 

Maybe Albedo didn't like Kaeya as much as he thought. 

Immediately, the party and company became stale. Kaeya was with the people he spent the most time with in the year - colleagues, friends, drinking buddies, and yet, every smile and laugh he put on felt like a chore. He couldn't even really finish any drink after knowing how Albedo had practically turned down every invitation he extended. It couldn't just be a mere coincidence this time. 

As time wore on and Kaeya turned down more drinks and kept slipping into a moodier expression, he began to debate his options. Kaeya could either stay at the party until midnight like a good host, or take his leave. But seeing as people were already starting to notice his dip in mood, perhaps it was best to take the second option and not spoil everyone’s fun.

And besides, even if he knew Albedo didn't like him that way, Kaeya couldn't really ignore a deep yearning inside his chest. 

He still wanted to see him. 

Kaeya made up some excuse about feeling unwell. This and some award-winning acting about having a terrible migraine gave him a pass to leave the tavern. From there, Kaeya was free to go wherever his heart pleased. And right now, it was telling him to head to Albedo's room. 

He knocked on the door softly, then waited. When he didn't hear a reply, he knocked again, louder this time, and even called out a tentative, “Albedo?”

But no one answered. 

That was odd. It was rather late at night now. Where else could he be? Surely not the laboratory? 

To his relief, Kaeya only found clean benches and strange vats of luminescent liquids in the alchemy laboratory. No one was working overtime tonight, it seemed. That was a good thing. 

But it still didn't answer the question where Albedo was. 

Kaeya racked his brains for an answer. Seeing as it was New Year's Eve, perhaps Albedo took a stroll around the festive stalls in town? Kaeya headed back down, joining the mass of people thronging the stalls. It had gotten a lot more crowded in a relatively short amount of time. It looked like midnight was approaching. 

And yet, Albedo was nowhere to be found. 

Then, a passing voice stopped him in his tracks. “Saw him heading back to the city from Windrise.”

Kaeya turned around sharply, facing Rosaria’s retreating figure. 

She definitely knew, knew.  

“Didn’t take you to be a wingman,” Kaeya remarked, but he was smiling. “Thank you.”

Rosaria scoffed, barely turning her head. “Thought I might do a little charity before the year is officially over.”

After Rosaria had vanished into the crowd, Kaeya hurriedly made. his way through the masses with elbows and hands cutting through the throngs of people. It wasn't very elegant, and he would have been running otherwise. But with the moment almost upon them, Kaeya couldn't really blame the crowd. It filled him with a sense of urgency too. 

He knew he just needed to see Albedo this very instant. 

Kaeya's frantic efforts eventually did help him get past the city gates in good speed. And as he headed out for the bridge, he was relieved to see he made it in time. 

Crossing the bridge towards his direction was a slender figure, its outline only hazily lit by the orange glow of the lamps along the bridge. But it was unmistakable who that was. Especially the way the figure registered who was coming towards him after he got a little closer - eyebrows subtly lifting in surprise and revealing big turquoise eyes that appeared to shimmer in the light. 

Instantaneously, Kaeya’s mood was lifting. It was amazing, so amazing really, how his heart sped up as his footsteps did.

“Albedo.”

“Kaeya,” he said. “What about your party?”

“I left early,” Kaeya stopped just a foot away from him. He sounded so breathless it was embarrassing. Thankfully, it seemed Albedo hadn't noticed. “Klee's still with Noelle. I think they're going to stay a little longer for the fireworks.”

“Oh,” Albedo blinked. It looked like he was more surprised at the fact that it had already gotten late. Which brought Kaeya to his next question.

“What are you doing out here?” Kaeya inched closer still, then noticing the unmistakable smell of alcohol on Albedo. “Have you been drinking?” 

Albedo let out a huff that made Kaeya’s mosaic heart squeeze. “So have you.”

He smiled at the retort. “Not very much. I was looking for you.”

Kaeya watched Albedo process this, trying to read him with much difficulty. Kaeya thought he knew all there was to the alchemist's little subtle expressions now. But this one seemed new, and Kaeya didn't know what to make of it. It looked like a cross between surprise, confusion, and … something else. Something like a wistfulness. 

“Why?” Albedo asked, echoing Kaeya's own thoughts.

“I know you don't like parties, but,” Kaeya paused here on what was probably the dying instincts of whatever’s left of his self-preservation. Eventually, his heart won out the fight. 

“I really want to spend New Year’s Day with you.”

By such sheer coincidence that almost made Kaeya believe the gods were watching, the night sky lit up with a dozen dazzling lights. Albedo’s face, his wide eyes and open lips, were all immediately illuminated under the light of fireworks that hit the sky. 

“Happy New Year,” Kaeya laughed softly. Even if Albedo didn't like him that way, he told himself, he’d be okay as long as they could spend another year just like this together. 

Then, without warning, Albedo reached for his coat, tip-toed …

And kissed him. 

Kaeya didn't even know how to react - he couldn't. All he could barely understand was that Albedo's soft lips were on him and his heart was actually pounding so loudly it was more deafening than the literal fireworks. And it only just occurred to Kaeya that he should kiss him back. But wait, should he really? What would it mean if he kissed him back? What did it mean that Albedo was kissing him now? 

And then, before he could even decide, Albedo pulled away. 

Burying his face into Kaeya's coat now, Albedo murmured softly. 

“Kaeya, let's go back to my room.”

He didn't need much more persuasion. 

Something felt different about tonight when they fell into bed together. There was something about the way they moved, the way the air tinged with an electrifying tension. Kaeya couldn't describe it, but he knew they were going faster than usual, clothes coming off even as they were tumbling and rolling all over each other, locked in a messy kiss. Kaeya could still taste whatever drink Albedo had - sweet, fruity, a slight bite to it. 

It might be the alcohol then. This was the first time Albedo was so forward, so hungry almost, like he needed something from Kaeya. He was happy to respond in kind, headily pressing a knee between Albedo's thighs. The sensation pulled a soft moan, leading into breathy words that formed a single question. 

“Would you have sex with me?”

What was he saying? Like Kaeya was going to walk out of this room without drawing an orgasm out of Albedo at least once. 

Not fully understanding, Kaeya murmured against his collarbone whilst another hand found his arousal, “We are having sex …”

“No, I mean,” Albedo let out a whine of pleasure. He wriggled himself out of the way, surprising Kaeya who pulled back a little. And then, hooked his hands behind his knees … 

“Kaeya,” he began, flushing the deepest Kaeya had ever seen. “P - please … fuck me.”

Oh. 

That's what Albedo wanted. 

Fuck.

The sight was almost enough to make Kaeya oblige, but somehow he managed to hold onto himself, or rather, hold onto Albedo by gripping, digging into his pale thighs with taut fingers. He was certain to leave a mark. 

It was taking everything he had not to give into his more carnal instincts to shift that grip to pin Albedo down, to force him, to claim him, and make him realise exactly what he was asking for …

But there was only one problem.

“You’re inebriated,” Kaeya gritted out. 

Almost immediately, a keen left Albedo’s lips. “No, no …” 

Heart aching, Kaeya dampened the sound with his own lips. He did so with much fervour, perhaps just so to momentarily distract him. The thought of Albedo begging him, however, and of his own volition still stirred up a greater flame within Kaeya. 

What was he doing? A voice inside him asked. Was he really going to give up this opportunity?  

“How many have you had?” Kaeya asked, almost growling. 

“Two … three,” Albedo panted breathlessly.

It could have been anything. It could have been mostly juice or extremely hard liquor. Kaeya didn't know. But he knew that Albedo had been out of sorts ever since he stood on tip-toe to kiss him on the bridge earlier. 

Kaeya raked his eyes over Albedo, his pale, trembling body illuminated in a ray of moonlight that fell across his sheets, looking absolutely ethereal, looking absolutely beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that Albedo deserved to be ravished completely. Could Kaeya be the one to do it? 

Would he? 

Kaeya’s blood pulsed in his veins. 

Was this how Albedo's first time should go?

Clenching his jaw, Kaeya unfroze his limbs to turn Albedo around before he could really be tempted any much more.

“Knees together.”

Albedo shifted into position slowly. Honestly, he looked just as every bit enticing as he did from the front … but at the very least, with Albedo putting his legs together obediently, it signalled that they had made the other decision. Kaeya didn't want to waste a single second. He needed to distract himself, too. And so, he hastily guided his own arousal between Albedo's thighs.

“K - Kaeya …” An odd sound came from Albedo as he wrapped his arms around a pillow below him. It was a little muffled, but it didn't quite sound like a moan. Perhaps he wanted to get this over and done with. 

Kaeya pulled his hips back before snapping them flush against Albedo. His leaking cock helped with the movement, slicking Albedo's thighs with precum. Every movement he made against him made Albedo hiccup a little, the little hitches and whines driving him insane. And when Kaeya reached an arm around to take hold of his cock, finally coaxing a loud moan from him, he couldn't help but increase the pace to a furious rhythm. 

At this point, Kaeya’s mind had long succumbed to the chase of his pleasure. He was almost rough with his thrusts, just eager to feel his cock sliding between slim thighs, eager to hear the ringing slaps of skin against skin. It was almost like, Kaeya closed his eyes, like he was fucking into Albedo. The thought alone made him double over and go even faster, just chasing, just wanting …

Albedo for his own. 

Eventually, it was Albedo who came first at Kaeya's hands, crying into his pillow and gasping as he tugged and pulled still, on him. 

But his release was swiftly followed by Kaeya who slammed his hips against Albedo one final time before spilling over, dirtying his thighs and bedsheets and cum running down his legs. It was a copious amount, and definitely not how Kaeya expected the night to end. 

Fuck, they've definitely ruined the bedsheets. 

They stayed there panting for a while, until Kaeya finally regained enough sense and strength to turn Albedo back to the front. Immediately, he lifted an arm to his eyes. 

Kaeya couldn't see his expression like that, but he appeared a little dazed, what with his silence and everything. Filled with an aching, Kaeya leaned down to kiss him, soft, tender, deliberate. 

One day, one night, Kaeya would tell Albedo … 

… Just how much he loved him. 

“You alright?” Kaeya asked eventually, breaking away from his kisses. 

The arm fell away, and an obscure expression rearranged itself into an identifiably small smile.  

“I am.”

And so, the sinner fell in love with the homunculi. 

It honestly sounded so laughable that Kaeya wouldn't have doubted that the gods had had a hand in this somehow. Perhaps, when the lines of fate were written at the start, Kaeya was thusly made to fall in love with Albedo as a mockery of his decision to discard his past. 

Only for Albedo to never reciprocate his feelings. 

It had been nearly a month since the alchemist spoke to him, after all. 

At first, it was just Albedo telling him he wouldn't be free to meet him in the coming week, which, granted, wasn't hard to believe seeing as Albedo did have dual responsibilities as Captain of the Investigation Team and the Chief Alchemist of Mondstadt. So, who was Kaeya to question the guy when he said he was busy? 

But then, the seven days turned to fourteen, turned to twenty-one. And in all that time, Albedo barely spoke to him unless he was made to by some circumstance like a Favonius meeting or other. In fact, and Kaeya was pretty sure of this one afternoon when he caught a glimpse of Albedo turning back round a corner when Kaeya was headed his way, Albedo was avoiding him. 

Kaeya wondered if he had done anything wrong. The last time he saw him, like really saw him and spent a significant time with him … was on New Year’s Day. When Kaeya closed his eyes at night, he can still see the shine on Albedo’s thighs, still feel his warmth against his body, and taste the alcohol on his lips after their very last kiss. 

Then, that smile afterwards. 

“You alright?”

“I am.”

Or so he said. 

But was he really?

Now that doubt had been thrown into the picture, Kaeya felt like he needed to get to the bottom of things. If he did something wrong he wasn't aware about, Albedo needed to tell him. Which means …

They’re going to have to have A Talk. 

Kaeya really wasn't fond of forcing Albedo into a corner, but he didn't have much of a choice what with all his evading. Still, knowing this didn't make the task any easier. It was one thing to show up at his workplace for work-related reasons, and another for such … personal ones.

And in front of Sucrose and Timaeus too. 

When he came in through the door, they stared at him with a mix of surprise and … worry? It was odd but Kaeya decided he had better focus on his plan and the fact that Albedo wasn't even in the room. 

“Good morning, I’m just looking for Mr Albedo …”

Their eyes shifted behind him, and then Kaeya turned, facing an Albedo frozen by the open door. 

“Ah, Al - Mr Albedo. Right on cue, I was just asking for you -”

Without a word, Albedo spun on his heel and walked back the way he came from. 

“Hold on!”

Kaeya dashed out after him, but Albedo hadn't gotten very far. He couldn't. In front of him were a dozen knights or so coming down the corridor and forcing Albedo to stop in his tracks. 

“Oh, Captain Kaeya!” a knight in front leading the rest saluted, everyone else following in kind. “I was just showing our newest Cavalry members the patrolling route, starting with the hallway to alchemy as you requested.”

Albedo whipped around to stare at Kaeya wide-eyed. He didn't need to say anything for Kaeya to know what he was asking. 

Yes, he did this. He had prepared for the event that Albedo decided to flee. 

A sigh. 

Still hurts to see it happening, though. 

Kaeya now strode up to him easily as the knights shuffled past them slowly. 

“Albedo, I’ve been meaning to ask -”

“Don't,” Albedo took as much of a step back as he could. “I need some time to think.”

To think? Did Kaeya do something wrong after all? “Can I at least apologise?” 

“Apologise?” Albedo looked confused. Then, he shook his head. “No … no, why are you apologising? It's me who …” he bit his lip, then moved back another step. “I really ought to get going.”

At this moment, the last knight walked by them. It seemed like Albedo had noticed too. 

“Wait. Maybe we can figure this out together,” Kaeya made a desperate attempt to appeal to reason. 

But Albedo shook his head again. “No, I am working it out. I just need - I just need time and … some distance.” He paused. “Sorry.”

And then, he withdrew quickly, disappearing down the now empty hallway. 

Kaeya felt like punching a wall. But he didn't want to give any more reason to scare Albedo or make him despise him even more. It seemed like whatever it was, Albedo had gotten it into his head that the best course of action for him to take against Kaeya was distance. 

So, he wasn't just imagining things. 

When it came to the apology, though, Albedo reacted strangely to say the least. But perhaps Albedo had already realised Kaeya liked him and out of sympathy, conveyed he didn't want him apologising for it. That would explain why Albedo insisted on keeping some distance between them too. Probably until he worked out a better plan to continue keeping Kaeya at bay … 

Fuck, it hurt so much that it was laughable. 

A sinner and a homunculi, huh? Maybe Albedo saw the problem therein and decided they shouldn't be testing the gods. Even though Kaeya was sure they caused this for their own entertainment. The Heavenly Principles might be sitting on their heavenly throne and laughing their head off right now. 

That week, Kaeya returned to the Angel’s Share every night. 

He wanted to be left alone, however, and always chose a bar seat. But on the fifth night making a beeline for it, he slowed his steps in dismay as a certain red-headed bartender lifted his equally crimson eyes to affix on him. 

Kaeya bristled, preparing himself for another fight, or shouting match, or escape if it really came down to it, but the bartender only put down a glass of red on the counter wordlessly. 

Kaeya pulled himself together, going to his seat with a performative swagger. “Well, Diluc. No comment on my alcoholism before serving me a drink? I must say, I like this new change.”

“If you want me to comment on it, I can,” Diluc glared, wiping down another glass. 

“I’d rather you not,” Kaeya took up the glass, taking a long sip. “Remember the last time you commented on things that were none of your business? Yeah, didn't turn out well, did it?”

Diluc’s scowl told Kaeya he remembered the night of his birthday all too well. “That was not … my best.”

“Admitting to fault now?” Kaeya raised an eyebrow. “Wow, have you hit your head or something? Can I be sure that this is the Diluc Ragnvindr I’m talking to?”

“The very same one that witnessed Mr Albedo dragging you out the tavern that night,” Diluc crossed his arms. 

At Albedo's mere name, Kaeya almost choked on his wine. It was embarrassing, really. He tried to cover it up with a cough. “Ah, details, details.”

“They matter,” Diluc insisted. “Charles has let me know that every night you've come in, it's Mr Albedo’s name that you keep muttering three bottles in.”

That traitor Charles! “You should train your employees to keep matters at the bar, at the bar.”

Diluc shook his head. “You like him, don't you?”

Kaeya grimaced at the straightforwardness. The directness of it made his skin crawl. He took another long sip of the wine, hoping the alcohol would kick in soon and make the painful conversation easier. He might have to turn around and go home at this rate. 

“So what?” Kaeya finally spat bitterly. “It’s not reciprocated.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you really going to doubt me?” Kaeya snapped. “It's not like I haven't tried for a month to even talk to him, only to be ignored!”

Diluc shrugged, picking up another glass to polish. “Well, if that's the conclusion you came to …”

“What? Spit it out. I know you want to.”

Diluc sighed, hands stilling. For some reason, his expression began to look a little pensive, a little more … melancholic, even. It might be the flickering light of a lamp in his eyes, however. 

“Perhaps, if you do … love him, you should let him go.”

Kaeya had a choice now. He could either press him for details on how Diluc came to that thinking, or he could just take it at face value. There was just the slightest throb in his heart as he thought about it. He might have been wrong about Diluc all those years ago, after all. 

But time cannot be reversed. 

And these days, Kaeya didn't feel like he wished it could be, anyway. 

He was sure … Diluc wanted to move on too.

“Let him go, huh?” Kaeya finished the rest of his wine in a last sip. “You might be -”

The door to the tavern swung open suddenly, and with so much vigour that the hanging ornaments nearby shook and tinkled noisily with the force. 

“A - Albedo?!” Kaeya set his glass down in alarm. 

The alchemist stood there, almost imposingly as he locked Kaeya in an intense stare. He couldn't read him. He couldn't read him at all, not even when Albedo marched up to him and came so close Kaeya could count every lash on his eyes. 

But he could feel a surprising amount of determination radiating from him. Albedo seemed wholly unbothered that there was someone behind the counter watching them. His only concern seemed to be etching all the details of his large turquoise eyes into Kaeya's memory forever. 

“Kaeya,” he addressed, then took a deep breath. 

“I’m in love with you.”

Chapter Text

If one asked a bard, love was the all the sounds of your partner - their voice, their laughter, like a joyful melody to the soul. 

If one asked an artist, love was the picture of a tight embrace, the harmony of two melded into one. 

If one asked a physician, love was the erratic beating of the heart, a physical manifestation of a greater emotion. 

But if one asked Albedo … 

On a quiet evening at the laboratory, he dropped a coloured liquid into another in a flask, the droplet turning into something like swirling smoke. They pushed, they pulled, and danced, until eventually, the liquid faded, and all the flask became colourless. 

Perhaps, love was an experiment. And Albedo, the researcher and subject, was here to see it begin, develop, and end. 

This was the homunculi’s self-study. 

The first step of his plan was removing himself from the object of his affliction. If Kaeya were to sever their relations once he found out anyway, then it really was no different for Albedo to walk away first. This way, his affections for Kaeya might eventually fade, and Kaeya would be none the wiser about it all. 

New enquiry: What would the end of love feel like?

Albedo was determined to find out. For the next two weeks since that fateful New Year’s Day, he set his plan in motion. 

“Not this week either?”

Albedo kept his head buried in a book. “No. I’m really busy.”

Although usually a place of solace for Albedo, the air in the library suddenly felt tense. He couldn't see Kaeya's face, but he could feel the way he registered Albedo's short response, considered it, and shifted his weight doubtfully. 

To his surprise, Kaeya’s tone was light when he spoke again. “See you next week then!”

Albedo then understood this was a tactic to trap him into admitting there was something else going on. It struck him that Kaeya must have realised something was up by now. It wasn't just how he was pausing their weekly rendezvous (indefinitely). Albedo had also been avoiding him in hallways and other common spaces in the Ordo Favonius. Even meetings that involved their presence together turned into a game of who could keep a discussion going and who could end it as quickly as possible. Albedo never replied more than a sentence these days if Kaeya happened to have business to ask him something (possibly another tactic from Kaeya to get him to talk).

It appeared he was starting to frustrate the Cavalry Captain.

Which was … rather odd, Albedo thought as an aside to formulating his careful reply. Why would Kaeya be so bothered in the first place? It wasn’t like he was getting much from Albedo. If Kaeya wanted a bed partner, he could have anyone else. 

Albedo swallowed the lump in his throat at the thought. 

“Albedo?”

“If work’s cleared up,” he murmured noncommittally. 

“Albedo -”

“I have to be somewhere,” he said quickly now, shoving the book into a random shelf. If Kaeya used that tone with him, Albedo wasn't sure if he would last. His chest tightened.

At first, it hurt to walk away. 

Albedo slid past Kaeya next and headed for the door. Thankfully, Kaeya didn't call him back. 

He decided he had better come up with other measures. The short replies and deliberate evasions would only work for so long. Albedo had hoped he wouldn't raise any suspicions in Kaeya but it seemed to have failed spectacularly. 

So, the next time he saw his Investigation Team, Albedo extended the camps outside, thereby giving him an official reason to disappear from the city for a while. This extended to his alchemy students too, whom he would bring out for fieldwork multiple times in a week, even right after he was back from an overnight camp. 

It helped, Albedo thought. It helped that he kept himself so busy that he didn't even have a second to think about Kaeya. But he returned to his bed every night, exhausted. And there he’d lie staring at the grey ceiling willing himself to think about anything else. 

But after some time, it seems by concentrated will, it was possible to banish unwanted thoughts. 

Yet … 

Albedo turned in his bed, trying to pinpoint the exact emotion. 

Grief, no. Sadness, not quite. 

Something else. Albedo put a hand to his chest.

Heartache. The heartache still remains.  

So it may be. But Albedo was determined to prove it wasn't a permanent affliction. He kept up with his gruelling work schedule, piling on more and more things. Somewhere through the third or fourth week doing this, it got to the point where it was starting to feel a little ridiculous. And he didn't think it was just his imagination when Sucrose and Timaeus glanced at each other with raised eyebrows when Albedo announced their third consecutive trip out in the week. 

“Um, Mr Albedo,” Timaeus scratched the back of his head. “I don't think we need more samples …”

“The Crystalflies are -”

“Plenty,” Sucrose said, lifting a jar full of them. “We just replenished these last week.”

“What about the acorns?”

“They’re right here,” Timaeus held up another jar. “We were out collecting these just two days ago, remember?”

Albedo stared at them. “Oh.”

His students shared another look with each other, and this time, Albedo really had to know. “What is it?”

Sucrose looked at the ground meekly, so it was Timaeus who begrudgingly spoke up. “It’s because of Captain Kaeya, isn't it?”

Albedo almost dropped his clipboard. “What's because of Captain Kaeya?”

“The field trips every two days,” Timaeus coughed into a hand. “We - uh, couldn't help but notice that you seem to be avoiding Captain Kaeya.”

Has it really gotten that obvious? Albedo felt a little defeated. If even his students noticed … 

“Is - is everything okay, Mr Albedo?” Sucrose now asked with concern. 

Albedo felt his body deflate, slumping against a bench behind him. “I thought I was doing just fine.”

A memory of a candlelit night came to him. He was panting, out of breath, and trying to hide himself from a concerned gaze.

“You alright?” 

“I am.”

Albedo shook his head slowly, and then forced a small smile. “No, I’ll be fine.”

Timaeus scratched his head awkwardly again, looking to the side. “Mr Albedo, pardon me for being rude but … you always taught me not to be afraid of failures. So, I guess what I want to say is, maybe you should take a leap of faith …

“... Everything has its risks, after all.”

Albedo blinked at Timaeus. Even Sucrose was staring at him with some surprise.

“Hey, what is it?” Timaeus put his hands on his hips. “I haven't grown a second head, have I?”

“I think you might as well have,” Sucrose laughed lightly. 

Suddenly, the smile Albedo put on didn't feel so heavy on his face anymore. “I’m glad you remembered my teaching so well.”

“Everything has its risks.”

Albedo mulled this over throughout his laboratory work (in lieu of the cancelled field trip) and into the night too. It had almost been a month since he had started his new enquiry. And so far, it had been met with middling success, he thought. The distance he put between himself and Kaeya had helped somewhat but he also knew he couldn't keep bringing his knights and students out on camps and field trips forever. 

So Albedo had to make a decision. 

But what and when? 

Unfortunately, it seemed like he didn't have much say in the regard of time because the next day he headed off to work, Albedo walked into the laboratory to find just the one person he had been avoiding for weeks. 

Back facing him, Albedo could only see Kaeya's tall silhouette against the light from the windows. Just seeing his figure - familiar and so near, already started up his heart.

“Good morning,” he heard Kaeya say to his students. “I’m just looking for Mr Albedo …”

Sucrose and Timaeus cast a glance past Kaeya towards Albedo, making the Cavalry Captain turn around too. Everything seemed to be moving ten times as slow. So much so that Albedo even had time to identify the surprise turning into gladness in his eye. 

“Ah, Al - Mr Albedo. Right on cue,” Kaeya said, his voice snapping him out of his reverie. Pulled him back and reminded him what's at stake. 

“I was just asking for you -”

Albedo didn't waste a second turning back down the hallway. Behind him, Kaeya's voice rang. 

“Hold on!”

He was calling him. He was calling him back this time. A surge of panic rose in Albedo. He wasn't prepared. He realised now that he was only fine so long as Kaeya wasn't around. But the moment he was in his sight, so near that he seemed possible to reach … 

Albedo couldn't help but feel like he was falling in love again. 

Or perhaps, he thought a little more honestly, he had never fallen out of love. 

It seemed the experiment had failed. 

Lost in his muddled emotions, Albedo almost crashed headfirst into what seemed like a small squadron of knights heading down the opposite way. He backed a little, and watched with surprise as the knights came to a stop, the one in front saluting suddenly. 

“Oh, Captain Kaeya!” the knight said. “I was just showing our newest Cavalry members the patrolling route, starting with the hallway to alchemy as you requested.”

Immediately, Albedo whipped around to look at Kaeya striding up to him who, of course, had already planned everything in advance. 

But why?

Why go to this length? 

And as Kaeya came closer and Albedo could see better, another question came to his mind. 

Why is there … something like hurt in Kaeya's eye? 

Kaeya came right up to him. “Albedo, I’ve been meaning to ask -”

“Don't,” Albedo took as much of a step back as he could as the knights tried to shuffle past them. “I need some time to think.”

He wasn't doing it on purpose - it was almost reflexive. But he hated the way that emotion in Kaeya's eye intensified.

Kaeya dropped his voice. “Can I at least apologise?” 

“Apologise?” Now Albedo was confused. What for? “No … no, why are you apologising? It's me who …” His voice trailed off. 

It's me who fell in love with you and committed the fault.

His nose was beginning to tickle. An emotion was welling up inside Albedo too. “I really ought to get going.”

Fortunately, as he said so, the last knight had walked by them.

“Wait. Maybe we can figure this out together,” Kaeya said quickly. 

Shaking his head towards the ground, Albedo began to back away. “No, I am working it out. I just need - I just need time and … some distance.” He took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

Taking the chance now, Albedo turned and fled down the empty hallway, footsteps clattering against the polished floors. He didn't stop until he had reached an empty meeting room, and slipped in as quickly as he could before anyone else could spot him. 

Albedo leaned against the door shut behind him and took in his surroundings. 

And of course, as coincidences usually go, it happened to be a very familiar meeting room indeed. 

This was where it all began after all. 

Sighing, he approached a chair and sank into it feeling like a deflated balloon. His mind … and his heart was still struggling to process what had just happened. After nearly a month away, after nearly a month of work put into not thinking about him … 

Dissolved in an instant. 

Now all that filled Albedo's head was Kaeya. The way Kaeya appeared at his laboratory, the way just seeing his figure from the back induced both joy and heartache. The way Kaeya turned to look at him, and the emotion in his eye when he approached … 

Albedo didn't really understand why, but it seemed like he had hurt Kaeya somehow. Perhaps Kaeya saw him as more than just an acquaintance, more than just a colleague? Albedo's heart squeezed at the thought, hopelessly hopeful. He flushed, finding it embarrassing he was getting worked up over this like a young maiden in love. And after all that work put into trying to rid himself of the emotion. 

But since that experiment’s failed … 

Albedo folded his arms on the table, and laid his head to rest on them. 

“I mean I’m quite upfront about the fact that I’m not looking for a committed relationship with my partners.”

So he said once. But perhaps he was still open to just being friends. 

Albedo closed his eyes, thinking of that time Kaeya helped him carry his equipment to the store, that time when Kaeya let him hold his arm on slippery ice, that time when Kaeya insisted on icing a mild injury on his forehead. 

All the times they spent just being friends.

Albedo hugged his arms around himself tighter. If they couldn't be anything more than that, he’d be fine with them just being friends. After all, that was why Albedo worked so hard trying to stem his affections. So that Kaeya would never find out. So that he didn’t have to lose Kaeya or his company. 

But it seemed like it was impossible to move on like this. Perhaps, the only recourse, the only way to move forward was to admit it … 

… To Kaeya. 

Albedo’s breathing turned shallow. Could he? But how would Kaeya react? 

Would he turn Albedo away immediately like he was known to do to past admirers? Would that then help Albedo move on from this emotion and allow him to keep at least Kaeya as an acquaintance? 

“Everything has its risks,” Albedo muttered to himself, the phrase now very familiar to him. “But it doesn't mean you should stop trying after one failed experiment …”

New (updated) enquiry: Would Kaeya accept a friendship even if he knew of Albedo's feelings? 

By the end of the work week, Albedo decided. No more dawdling about. It was going to be a month since he started trying to distance himself. Kaeya had a right to know, too, why Albedo had been doing this. And whatever the outcome, Albedo would do his best to accept it. 

He lifted his head from the table, newfound determination filling him. 

Such was the plan.

And yet …

Albedo stared at the clean surface of a bench. So spotless he could make out a hazy reflection of himself if he bent over at an angle in the illuminating light of a setting sun. 

Nevertheless, Albedo found himself picking up the cloth anyway, and began to clean over the tabletop again. 

It had been long since Sucrose and Timaeus had left the laboratory. On the last day of the work week, this wasn't unusual. For Albedo however, despite having finished his work for the day, he found it very difficult to leave … 

It was almost the pivotal hour. 

Albedo cleaned to relieve stress. That was something he had always done. But this time, the habit served more as a distraction than a stress-reliever. It was impossible to take the edge off. Albedo knew there was no escaping what's to come. He made that decision after all. 

Just before the light of day faded completely, Albedo peered into the shiny surface of the bench and patted down his hair. His appearance was probably going to be ineffectual, but he did it more for self-comfort anyway. 

Then, he was ready. In the technical sense. 

Emotionally, Albedo … really didn't know. Throughout the week, he had thought of so many possible outcomes from his decision, he now felt nothing and everything at once. 

Albedo dropped the cloth, and raised two hands to his face, cupping his cheeks. 

He took a deep breath. 

Secondary enquiry: Could his heart burst from the anxiety that came from love? 

Only one way to find out. 

Albedo finally left the laboratory, setting off for Kaeya's room first. He doubted he’d be in at this time. But it was worth an attempt to avoid having to double back. 

He knocked on the door twice and then waited. No response. 

As he thought. That meant he must be … 

Albedo headed for Angel’s Share immediately. He felt clumsy in his haste. It wasn't just his footsteps. He was also getting all the lines he was rehearsing wrong in his head. Albedo quickly discarded the ones that felt too long. If he was going to do this, he wanted to say it once, and once only. 

Finally, he settled on something he thought was clear enough that didn't require further clarification. And just in time too, for he had just reached the door to the tavern. He opened it quickly, the tension in his limbs making him swing the door open harder than he really should. A few hanging ornaments on the wall rattled in his wake. 

“A - Albedo?!” 

And then he saw him. Just a few feet away, twisting his torso around from his seat at the counter. Albedo’s heart made a tight squeeze. If Kaeya looked this shocked now, he couldn't imagine his expression after what Albedo was about to say … 

He walked over, fists clenched by his sides. 

“Kaeya,” Albedo said, positioning himself right in front of him. He breathed in. 

“I’m in love with you.”

Time seemed to freeze then. All the world around them came to a standstill - everything, but his heart, that is. Albedo could hear its rapid beating in his ears. His heart was bursting. It is definitely bursting, isn't it? 

Meanwhile, in front of him, Kaeya's eye widened. 

And then … 

“S - sorry?”

“You don't have to reciprocate,” Albedo blurted out at Kaeya's bewildered face. He looked almost unsure. Hadn’t his phrasing been straightforward enough? “I’m telling you more so to get it off my chest, really. If you mind it at all, I’m about 98% sure I can move on from these feelings. I do plan to try so we can at least keep a cordial friendship - that is, if you are still willing to -”

Suddenly, a hand flew to his mouth. Kaeya's hand. His pressing palm ever so slightly cool on Albedo's lips. But that's not surprising considering how Albedo felt like he was burning up. 

“Stop,” Kaeya said, getting up from his seat. “Come with me. Outside.”

He felt another hand grasp at his wrist, this one pulling him across the tavern to the door, and out. 

Immediately, they were hit by a cool evening breeze. But it did little to calm the raging furnace inside Albedo. They stumbled a few steps forward before Kaeya finally let go of him. 

“Albedo,” Kaeya began, voice sounding strained. “Did you know how many eyes were on us inside?” 

“I …” he blinked. “I wasn't paying attention …”

“No, of course, not,” Kaeya sighed. “Albedo - I …”

“You didn't hear me because there were so many people inside?” Albedo gathered, his mind trying to make a connection. “I said, I’m in love with you.”

“I know,” Kaeya put out a hand quickly, and then retracted it. “No, wait. I don't. I didn't. I … how did this happen?”

How did this happen? Albedo’s mind raced back many weeks. “It’s most probable that it’s an emotion resulting from our many encounters together … I’m sure we can trace its genesis looking at my research notes. But I suppose I was only consciously aware of it the week after our time at Dragonspine …” Albedo trailed off, suddenly realising the purpose of Kaeya's question might be to find out what exactly led to this because it was so bothersome to him. 

“I’m sorry, I wasn't careful. I knew how you felt about relationships, but I fell in love with you anyway -”

Two hands clasped the sides of Albedo's face. He stared up at the other man with surprise. 

“Do you mean it?” Kaeya asked, suddenly looking serious. Although, Albedo could make out … an anxiety, or was it trepidation, swirling in Kaeya's indigo-silver eye. He repeated himself urgently, “Do you really mean it?”

“That I’m in love with you?” Albedo found it difficult to get his words out when Kaeya was staring at him so intensely. What was going on? He didn't know what to make of this … “Yes,” he answered a little breathily. “Yes,” he repeated, trying to be as clear as possible. 

And now the ball was out of his court. If Kaeya turned him away now, at least Albedo managed to convey his feelings. That fact brought him a small comfort in the slowly creeping grief that he would have lost someone dear to him. But he’d be able to move on after this, eventually. 

Lost in his own thoughts and emotions, Albedo did not realise how Kaeya had closed the distance between them and shifted his hold … 

Until wine-stained lips captured his in a gentle kiss. 

Albedo’s heart drummed in his ears again. And so desperately so as he intuitively held onto Kaeya's hands, unwilling to let him pull away. 

He must be dreaming. 

Then, Kaeya broke from him, his eye shining under the stars, like he was holding back tears. “Goddammit, Albedo,” he whispered. 

Albedo could hardly believe it. He spoke quickly, “Kaeya, do you -”

“I do,” Kaeya answered, brushing back a strand of hair from his face. “If loving someone meant caring about them, I care about you more than all my fears combined.”

“So -”

“So don't avoid me like you have for an entire month!” Kaeya flicked Albedo's forehead, causing him to stumble back a little. “Why did you do that?”

“It's a long story …” Albedo held his forehead, a little sheepish. “There's a reason.”

“I’d like to hear it,” Kaeya said dryly. “But we can't go back inside, oh gods, no. Not after …” He sighed at the thought. “And I’ve left my glass of wine behind …”

Albedo suddenly remembered something. “Let's go to my room.”

“Oh?”

“If wine and a story is what you want,” Albedo felt a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. 

“I can fulfil that request.”

They didn't go back to his room. Not immediately, anyway. First, Kaeya went back to his own room while Albedo got things ready on his own. 

The journal. His journal. Albedo scrambled for it. 

Session 9

Session 10 XXXX

Fortunately, the heart is a wonderful organ that continues to function and beat steadily even after an act of confession. 

This also marks the end of the experiment on love. Result: failure. 

It might be impossible to see to the end of one’s love for another, especially if it is requited.

I have never been happier at a result.

Just thinking about it evoked a swelling feeling in Albedo, something close to an euphoria. He put down his pen and looked at his fingers, slightly trembling. It was curious, so curious, that being in love, and having one’s feelings be reciprocated, could induce such intense emotional and physiological reactions. 

In other words, Albedo felt the lightest and happiest he had been in the past few weeks. 

And then, as the candles flickered in his room, Albedo was reminded of the passing time, and the fact that Kaeya was coming over. 

He dashed into his bathroom. 

A few minutes later, Albedo emerged from the bathroom, just as a knock sounded on his door. 

“You’re punctual,” Albedo said, opening the door to Kaeya. 

“You said half an hour,” Kaeya murmured. 

“I did.”

“It doesn't take half an hour for me to grab two wine glasses, you know,” Kaeya raised the glasses in a hand, looking at Albedo with some amusement. 

“I’m aware.”

“Hm,” Kaeya hummed, and then walked into the room where Albedo had placed some bread and cheese on his desk … alongside a very familiar bottle of red wine. 

At the sight, Kaeya burst into laughter. “Don't tell me …”

“It's Dawn Winery’s acclaimed red, the very same from our first meeting,” Albedo couldn't help but smile himself. 

Kaeya set the glasses down and popped the bottle open with a coin and a deft hand. He poured the ruby liquid into a glass, and then offered it to Albedo. 

“A glass for you?”

“Thank you.”

They sat at the table. Kaeya on the chair and Albedo on a stool he had found. The bread and cheese wasn't much, but it made for an easy dinner they washed down with wine. Albedo sipped slowly on only one glass, quite aware of how he behaved on New Year's Day. He couldn't afford that this time, not especially when he wanted his story to be coherent. 

“So, you've been avoiding me because of an experiment?” Kaeya looked like he couldn't decide whether to be surprised or not. What resulted was a rather conflicted expression between disbelief and exasperation. 

“I wanted to know if it were possible to forcibly remove an attraction to someone,” Albedo replied, feeling a little defensive. “After all, you … you never cared for a relationship.”

“I used to never care,” Kaeya admitted, his gaze a little pensive. “But that's changed too. The thing is, after I realised I did care, that was about when you decided to avoid me. So, I thought … you weren't so fond of me.”

Albedo stared at Kaeya for a moment. Weren't his feelings obvious at all? They were to him. There have been so many times where Albedo was afraid Kaeya would find out. 

“Kaeya, I love you.”

The man in front of him seemed taken aback. And then, if the candlelight wasn't playing a trick on him, it seemed like his cheeks had taken on a rosier hue. “I know that now,” Kaeya still ground out a smile. 

Albedo could barely believe it. He, of all people, was making Kaeya Alberich blush. 

“Then,” Albedo began slowly, feeling emboldened, “how would you like to respond?”

Kaeya evidently picked up on a certain shift in tone. He leaned his head against propped knuckles. “How would you like me to respond?”

“I’d like you to help me with my research …” Albedo lied. This was no longer about his personal study. Not for the most part anyway. Although, he was intrigued to find out how intercourse would feel with mutual feelings involved. Before today, Albedo had always felt he was living some sort of one-sided fantasy … 

“Your research? You’re going to have to be a little more specific than that,” Kaeya smirked. 

“Well, would you be willing to …” Albedo paused to take a breath. 

“Would you have sex with me?”

A laugh escaped from Kaeya, first into a hand, and then he was throwing back his head in a fit. 

“What is it?” Albedo asked, mildly miffed at the reaction. 

“Is that why you needed half an hour?” Kaeya simmered down, although still very much amused. 

Now Albedo was the one blushing. But he still pressed on boldly. It might be the liquid courage in his veins after all. “Is there anything wrong with some preparation?”

“What preparation?” Kaeya raised an eyebrow, clearly adamant on not making it easy for him. 

How infuriating.

Albedo stood up and went over to his bed where he sat down, holding his eye contact with Kaeya. 

“If you undress me, you’ll find out.”

Kaeya clicked his tongue, rising from his chair. “Brazen.”

He crossed the floor to him in the span of a long breath. And then reached for his face, entangling fingers in his hair. Albedo leaned into the touch, eyelids closing in momentary indulgence before opening them to Kaeya's gaze again. 

“Albedo,” Kaeya began with something simmering behind his eye. “Here's something for your research notes.”

“What?”

“The reason why your experiment failed,” he continued, running gentle fingers through his hair, “is because distance actually makes the heart grow fonder.”

Just as Albedo was taking that in, Kaeya's fingers suddenly seized him firmly by the base, causing him to tilt his head up with a gasp. 

“And more needy.”

Albedo closed his eyes, just as Kaeya lowered his head to take his mouth in a fervent kiss. As he subconsciously reached up to clutch at Kaeya, all he could think about was how much he missed this. How much he missed Kaeya. So much so that he felt like he was melting into the kiss, like putty in Kaeya’s hands as he undressed him as asked. 

From there he allowed Kaeya’s fingers to roam his body, Albedo lying down as he did so. Kaeya squeezed and caressed and pinched every surface of his skin while he continued to deepen the kiss, making Albedo break and mewl when his fingers tickled a sensitive spot. And then, upon lifting his knee, Kaeya's running fingers touched on something else between his legs. Albedo knew he had found it when Kaeya lifted his head and paused. 

“Oh?” His voice was raspy, evident lust darkening in his eye. “You have something interesting here. Why don't you turn around and show me.”

Anticipation coursed through Albedo's veins as he adjusted himself into a kneeling position on the bed, facing away from Kaeya. Then, he leaned down on his elbows, bending over for Kaeya to see … 

There was a sharp tug at a certain intrusion lodged within him. Albedo moaned into his arms, absolutely dripping with embarrassment. 

“Shameless,” Kaeya chided. “Keeping a toy like that inside you,” he gave another harsh tug. “Isn't the Kreideprinz embarrassed about expecting something like this to happen?”

Seeming to have read his mind, Albedo buried his head deeper into his arms. He was writhing with it, hot in his cheeks, on every surface of his skin. But he’d be lying if he said it wasn't stirring another feeling within him. Since a while ago, Albedo had had an inkling he liked the shameful feeling. But it was something he never quite had time to think about or fully come to terms with, until tonight, that was, as Kaeya slapped him once harshly on his exposed skin, pulling a loud gasp from him. 

“I can see you clench around the toy when I do that, you know?” Kaeya was now playing with the base, moving it around him in teasing circles. “Is this exactly what you imagined would happen?” A nod. “Is this why you had this in here?” Another nod. “Tell me what you think is going to happen next.”

Albedo lifted his head now, craning his neck to find Kaeya's eye. 

“I think you are finally going to fuck me.”

Kaeya swore under his breath, laughing breathily. “Clever little mouth you’ve got tonight.”

Albedo tried to sound unimpressed. “All I did was answer your question.”

“I know you know I know what you’re trying to do,” Kaeya laughed again, before working the toy in and out of him and causing Albedo to bow his head once more. “But keep acting cute, darling. It amuses me.”

Albedo couldn't help but smile a little at the moniker, even if Kaeya couldn't see it with his face in his arms. It felt like forever since he had heard the name. What once sounded odd and out of place to him, now made him warm all over. 

Kaeya flipped him over, catching his lips in another kiss. And this time, Albedo really couldn't hide his happiness. Everything they were doing now was intimate, but kissing was one of the first things Kaeya taught him. And he had never really gotten over how loved, and wanted a simple kiss made him feel. Albedo put his hands on Kaeya too, grabbing onto his clothes. Then long fingers came to lace themselves between his, and pulled his hands away to pin them against the bed. 

Albedo felt like his mind was all a heated foggy mess. 

Finally, Kaeya pulled away, smoothly discarding his top so Albedo had more access to his skin. He felt shy now, of all times, when he ran a finger down Kaeya’s sternum to his abdomen. Albedo's head turned away slightly when his finger reached the waistband of his pants.

“What’s wrong, darling?” Kaeya asked, holding up a hand to kiss it. 

“This time …” Albedo murmured. “You’ll put it in, right?”

His grip tightened around his fingers. “Fuck, you drive me insane, you know that?”

Perhaps. Because Kaeya did the same to him too. 

When it came to love, Albedo was realising that he lost most semblances of sane thought. And when added to the unadulterated lust, the combination often had him spiralling, had him saying things he would never even dream of saying, saying things he knew he’d be so mortified about after, he would be blushing for days. 

But it was okay. It was only Kaeya hearing them, after all. 

For Kaeya, to Kaeya, with Kaeya, Albedo was willing to show every side of himself. Even the parts he didn't fully understand yet. 

His toes curled in his bed sheets as he regarded the other man staring at him with so much warmth and affection. Albedo really couldn't have asked for a better partner. 

“We’re going to need more lubricant …” Kaeya said, and then was stunned when Albedo simply reached under his pillow and handed him the bottle. 

“Someone’s really prepared, huh,” Kaeya shook his head, chuckling. “Fine. Since you have so plainly made up your mind.”

Bubbling with excitement, Albedo watched intently as Kaeya undid his pants, slipping from them. He rolled his underwear down and … the sight that met Albedo still made him pause for breath. Then, a pop from the cork of the bottle snapped him out of his reverie. He put a hand around Kaeya's.

“May I?”

“You want to do it?”

Albedo nodded. “Yes.”

Kaeya handed the bottle back to him, and with amusement in his voice, conceded. “Alright then. Far be it from me to deny you.”

They changed their positions - Kaeya leading back on a pillow against the headboard and Albedo in between his legs. From there, Albedo began with pouring a generous amount of lubricant into his hand. And having experienced how cold it could be straight from the bottle, first warmed it between his palms before placing them on Kaeya's erection. It was hot to touch, and throbbed in his hands, sending heat straight to Albedo's own arousal.

It wasn't just the feeling of stroking Kaeya. It was the full understanding of him stroking Kaeya for a particular purpose. Albedo massaged the slippery lubricant over him, knowing full well he was preparing Kaeya to enter him … 

“Are you nervous?” Kaeya asked softly, breaking the silence. 

“No,” Albedo shook his head, although his heart fluttered at the thought of what was going to happen. Perhaps he was nervous, but only just a little. He wanted it more than he was afraid. “I’m only thinking …” Albedo supplied to divert Kaeya's attention, “about how it would …”

“Enter?” Kaeya cracked a small smile. “I thought the illustrious researcher in you would have read up on this beforehand.”

“I have,” Albedo pursed his lips. “I’m considering my options.”

“I’m somewhat flattered you are considering this so seriously.”

Albedo paused to glower a little. “I want to feel good.”

You will, darling,” Kaeya promised sweetly, meeting his eyes. “Here, how about I make a suggestion? Back up a little …”

With his help, Albedo was now sitting on Kaeya, straddling his thighs. He peered down at the grinning Cavalry Captain under him. Oh, it was this position. 

“Take the toy out and finger yourself with the rest of the lubricant,” Kaeya instructed, and Albedo did as he was told. He had had to bend over a little to reach back, one hand falling next to Kaeya's neck. It was mortifying, of course, doing this above Kaeya while he watched. But Albedo was leaking so badly onto him that he couldn't even pretend he wasn't getting off on this. 

“I’m ready,” Albedo panted, breath unsteady. 

“Mm,” Kaeya reached to him to brush a falling strand of hair back. “You look like you are. At your own time, alright?”

Albedo took out his fingers, curling them around Kaeya's length instead. And then, lowered himself slowly. Like this, you’ll be able to control the pace and angle, Kaeya had told him earlier. But his pace felt incredibly slow. Kaeya was noticeably girthier than the toy, and Albedo had only just caught on to the tip when he already felt like it was too much. 

Kaeya ran his fingers up and down Albedo’s arm, sometimes brushing back more of his hair. The gestures were intended to soothe. And so, Albedo tried to relax himself, exhaling slowly. 

He lowered himself further, trying to focus on his breathing instead of the painful stretch of his muscles as he took more of Kaeya in … until finally, he felt the warmth of Kaeya right under his legs. 

Albedo doubled over, torso falling on top of Kaeya. He felt much too full. 

Light fingers now ran the expanse of his back. Faintly, he registered that Kaeya was saying something to him. Albedo lifted his head. 

“Good boy,” Kaeya cooed, a hand coming to wipe away the fresh tears on his cheek. “Well done, darling.”

Albedo felt like butterflies. Thousands of them, emerging from where he could feel Kaeya's heartbeat against his. Albedo leaned into the touch and the comfort offered to him, Kaeya's hand moulding to the contours of his face. 

Finally, when the pain had dulled somewhat, Albedo lifted his body, hips rising a few inches, before sinking back down. 

It was only a little movement, so little that it might have looked barely noticeable that Albedo had even tried anything. But the sensation of dragging against something that felt so engorged within him was so great, it made tears well up in his eyes once more. Still, Albedo bit down on his lip, and tried again. 

This time, having braced himself for the same sensation, it felt more bearable. And then Albedo was lifting his hips a little higher, coming down a little harder, hearing the sounds of slick skin against skin get a little louder. 

“That's it, darling,” Kaeya said, unexpectedly sounding strained. Albedo, who had been concentrating his gaze over his shoulder, turned back to meet Kaeya's eye, watching him, transfixed. The colour where his diamond-shaped pupil rested looked the darkest he had ever seen, clouded over with lust. Suddenly, Albedo felt two hands travelling up to his chest, rubbing against his nipples. Yelping, Albedo grasped a wrist as his quivering thighs gave out. 

“K - Kaeya …” he let out brokenly. 

Kaeya's hands left his chest, now going towards his back, down his spine, until they reached the soft flesh behind. Albedo flushed, feeling fingers tightening around him, gripping him, so greedily kneading him. And then, his hands raised, lifting his hips too, and brought them down. 

Albedo was leaning forward, putting his hands on either side of Kaeya as he felt himself being bounced up and down Kaeya's length. 

“Kae - !” Albedo couldn't even complete his name, only capable of making pitched moans that Kaeya thrust out of him. His eyes widened when Kaeya started to set a faster pace. 

“I - Kae … ya!” 

“So beautiful,” Kaeya breathed. “So beautiful, so good for me …” Albedo's eyes flickered to Kaeya's face, who looked like he only had a single-minded purpose to turn Albedo's insides into mush, and he was succeeding too. “Taking my cock in your pretty ass like that. This is what you wanted, isn't it?”

“Ye - es …” it was punched out of him. 

“This is what you are so desperate for, huh?” Kaeya growled loudly, so as to be heard over the loud squelching noises they were now making.

“Yes … !”

“Good boy,” Kaeya praised, and shifted his angle. All of a sudden, Albedo was gasping for breath, Kaeya reaching a spot that made him lose his mind. And knowing that, knowing he had found it, Kaeya snapped his hips up deviously, landing the mark accurately every time he brought Albedo down onto him. 

At this point, Albedo's mouth had fallen open with the onslaught of sensations. His arms were shaking now, and every thrust, every press of Kaeya's hips against him felt like too much pleasure. Was it normal to feel this much pleasure? Albedo felt like part of it was knowing it was Kaeya doing this to him - taking him apart, and putting him back together every time they connected at the hips. The tears he had worked so hard to stop from spilling now flowed freely. It was a lot. It was too much. But Albedo didn't want it to stop. His cries soon turned desperate as pleasure climbed within him. 

“Albedo, darling,” Kaeya’s voice reached for him, bringing his mind back somewhat. “Albedo, look at me when you come. Can you do that?”

Albedo nodded, trying to keep his line of sight on Kaeya's face through the tears. “Yes …”

Kaeya didn't have to wait very long. Albedo knew he was already done in with a couple more thrusts. Fighting the urge to throw his head back, Albedo kept his eyes on Kaeya as he trembled in climax, spilling so hard between them that some of it got to Kaeya's chest. 

“So beautiful, well done darling,” Kaeya groaned, his hips jerking and losing rhythm, before finally bringing Albedo down one last time. 

A hot sensation filled him. And Albedo didn't know it was possible to feel any fuller. But the feeling was surprisingly not unwelcome. Vaguely, he tried to log the sensation in his brain. But became too tired to complete the thought, and fell against Kaeya, nuzzling his head into the crook of his neck. 

It just felt like the right thing to do. 

Larger hands shifted up to his back, pressing him close as a soft voice whispered sweet praise and affirmation in his ear. 

Later, much later, perhaps even tomorrow, Albedo was sure that he would attempt to write one last entry in his journal about his findings on sex … and on love, and would realise that it was impossible to capture all the nuances of emotion that were stirring in his chest right now, his heart beating against Kaeya's. Mere language was simply not adequate. How could he explain how far this study had come from a single question asked in a meeting room? How could he conclude how he felt now about who was once the last option on his list of possible candidates, and how Kaeya in turn made him feel at this very moment? 

For now, Albedo decided to leave that all to later, whenever that was, presently content to just melt against Kaeya's form and be soothed by the fingers now running down his hair. 

“Albedo,” Kaeya said, breath tickling the shell of his ear. 

“Hm?” Albedo replied, sighing in Kaeya's gentle hold. 

“Would you date me?”

Albedo lifted his head as laughter rose and escaped from him like bubbles in champagne. He found the question absurd in light of everything they had done, and even after everything they had shared this evening. It was as if they started out backwards … 

But somehow …

He was still glad Kaeya asked.

Albedo kissed him on the lips, almost feeling chaste.

“Yes,” he said, smiling as he identified a buoyant happiness swelling in his chest. “Yes, I would. I would love to.”

Albedo yelped as Kaeya sat up now, still holding onto him, and returning a kiss of his own to Albedo's lips. 

“Perfect,” Kaeya's expression was bright. “So, when do we begin?”