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Chapter Text

Even before his mind could wander in a wrong direction, Minho suddenly rushed back in with an apologetic nervous smile on his face... holding something in his hands?

And oh how his eyes widened, ears burned and heart stopped the moment he saw what was in Minho's hands.

Minho immediately looked down with his cheeks burning when he saw Jisung's face snap up at him with his eyes wide and mouth hanging open.

"I-I, uh..." he mumbled, clutching at the things in his hands while looking down at his feet with a red face and ears burning in embarrassment.

"M-Minho...?" Jisung let out, waiting for an answer for what he was seeing, looking back at the older's face.

"I-I..." Minho mumbled, looking down "I did a l-little research and..." he said as a shaky breath left his lips, and he finally stepped forward.

Jisung sat up, the towel around his neck falling off on the bed, his eyes still looking between his hands and his face as he scooted a little towards the headboard of the bed, making space for Minho as Minho walked towards him and sat down in front of him.

"Um.." Minho let out, slowly putting the things on the bed between them, still not daring to look up.

"R-Research?" Jisung asked, eyes fixed on the things laying on the bed.

A pack of Condoms and lube. A brand new bottle of water based lube.

Jisung looked up, his eyes wide with disbelief as he waited for Minho to explain.

Minho blinked his eyes rapidly, looking down at his hands before finally looking up in the younger's eyes.

"L-Last time when it happened, i-it was s-sudden" he spoke in a small embarrassed voice "I-I didn't know about t-things properly, so, uh, s-so I t-thought of looking up and reading about, uh, h-homosexual s-sex..." he mumbled, and Jisung just sat there with his eyes wide and heart racing, hearing a proper term from Minho's mouth.

"I-I didn't wanted to do s-something wrong again, or somehow h-hurt you, so I looked it up and read about it all and..." he looked back down, ears burning "I-I ordered these for 'j-just in case'" he gulped, nervous that Jisung will take it the wrong way. What if he thought he was waiting to have sex with him? No no.

"I-I didn't, uh, I was not preparing or w-waiting, but, I just..." he looked back up and blinked with his heart slowly calming down when he saw Jisung's eyes softening.

"I didn't know it hurt you that time" he finally spoke, voice going soft as he kept looking in the younger's eyes "I didn't know" he looked down "I didn't know you n-needed this" he mumbled while looking at the bottle of lube "I didn't know it hurts so much, I-I'm... I-I'm sorry"

And Jisung sat there, biting down at his lower lip harshly to stop it from quivering.

"H-How did you..." he finally spoke in a little voice "H-How did you get these?"

Minho looked up slowly "Learned o-online shopping from Felix a month ago and then ordered t-them after coming home from the store" he explained, looking back down "I just bought them because if anything happened again all of a sudden, I didn't want to tell you 'No', or hurt you again, so I b-bought them and kept them in t-the drawer of my table-"

"I don't need them..."

Minho blinked, his eyes fixed down on the pack of condoms and lube, and his ears burned when he saw Jisung placing his hand on the box of condoms and sliding it aside while looking at him with soft eyes.

"I don't want them" Jisung mumbled in a softer voice, coming out in just a whisper, as he suddenly got up slightly from the bed, straightening up on his knees and moving forward towards the older.

Minho blinked with his cheeks red as he slowly looked up, seeing Jisung coming closer to him, hovering over him, looking at him with those dazed eyes.

Yeah, Minho did the research, and that doesn't only include the articles he read. He knows what that means. He knows what that indicates when someone doesn't want to use condoms.

"B-But-" but he still tried, and it was of no use when Jisung kept looking down at him with those eyes, before suddenly sitting down in his lap with his hands cupping his face.

"I don't want them, Minho" Jisung breathed out, leaning closer to the older's lips "I want you. Only you"

Shivers ran down Minho's spine when Jisung sighed heavily against his lips before suddenly placing his own on them.

Minho sat there for a second, trying to grasp the situation, before his eyes closed and hands immediately raised up and one wrapped around the boy's waist, and other on the back of his head, pulling him more into him.

"H-Hah!" a gasp left his lips into Jisung's mouth when Jisung suddenly scooted closer in his lap and unknowingly grind down on him harshly, and even before Jisung could get the goosebumps from what he just heard-

"M-Mmh!" Jisung let out in a surprise when Minho suddenly lifted himself on his knees holding him in his arms and laid him down on the bed, putting his head on the pillow carefully.

"Keep your promise" Minho breathed out against his lips before snaking his hands down to the dip of his waist and burring his face in his nap, immediately leaving a wet open mouth kiss, biting down there instantly after, earning a shaky whine from the younger.

Jisung's raised his hand and laced his fingers in the back of his head, pulling him closer as Minho kept kissing and suckling at his skin messily.

Ok, this was his second, and probably the last chance. He knows, if he hurts Minho this time, he knows he will never be able to do it again. He still doesn't understand how Minho forgave him for what he did that time, for what he said to him, but he has not. He has not and will never forgive himself for it.

' "JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE MINHO, YOU CAN'T RAPE ME!?" '

He will never forgive himself for this. And he will never forgive himself if it happened again.

So he let out a breath, kept his eyes closed, clutched at Minho and emptied his mind from every thought.

Yes. He was still scared, still nervous, still not sure completely. But he knows, he will never be sure completely. He knows at one point or the other, he will have to push himself a little. So it was tonight.

"Jisung..."

And suddenly his mind snapped when Minho breathed out in his nape, before slowly lifting himself up and hovering over him, looking down at him with soft eyes.

"Open your eyes" he mumbled, making Jisung blink and open his eyes, already looking so drunk.

"Keep them open" Minho whispered before...

Before a silent gasp left Jisung's lips when Minho took his hand away from his face and lowered it to his crotch, softly keeping it onto the bulge on his shorts.

"Don't close your eyes" he whispered, leaning down closer, still having his other hand holding his waist tightly "Keep looking at me" he said, leaning even closer, seeing Jisung's chest heaving as he waited for the touch on his lips, looking at him with hooded eyes as he slowly moved his hand, rubbing at his dick over his shorts softly. And the moment Jisung was about to complain and pull himself up and attach their lips himself-

"It's me, Jisung" Minho suddenly breathed out, and Jisung froze.

"It's me, not him" he whispered again, looking straight in Jisung's eyes, seeing those little eyes carrying a soft desire in them going horrified within a second.

"M-Minh-"

"Focus on my hands" Minho said, ignoring the terrified look on Jisung's face, softly lowering his hand more and touching at his thigh, caressing his skin softly.

"Keep looking at me. It's my touch. It's not him, Jisung" he whispered, trying his best to keep himself calm when he saw those tears pooling in those beautiful innocent eyes.

He knows he was scaring him right now, but from everything he have observed, ignoring that man, acting like he never existed was not the option for Jisung's mind. For Jisung, he can block the thoughts of him when they creeps in, he can remind himself repeatedly that it's not him, he can keep his lips shut when those voices echos in his head, but he can't forget him.

So if he can't forget him, then he have to face him.

"M-Minho. Don't. P-Please..." his voice wobbled as he kept staring at Minho with wide scared eyes, not understanding what was he thinking, why was he doing this, why was he mentioning him when he was trying so hard to not think about hi-

"You can think about him" Minho mumbled softly, pushing his hand slowly upper to his thigh, softly snaking it under his shorts.

"Let him, Jisung" Minho breathed out "Let him creep in, and keep looking at me"

Jisung blinked, his eyes slowly relaxing as Minho kept caressing his skin with soft movements of his fingers.

"Keep looking at me, know that it's my touch" he said, leaning in, softly touching their lips together "Know that this touch will never be his again" he kissed his lips softly "It's me. It's always going to be me, Jisung"

And a tiny sob left Jisung's lips with a shaky "I-I love you", when he finally closed his eyes and suddenly reached down for Minho's hand that laid on the dip of his waist.

Minho leaned up, blinking softly as Jisung opened his eyes and kept staring at him with those hooded eyes as both of their focus was on their hands.

Where Jisung held Minho's hand kept on his waist where Minho held his t-shirt down, making sure it wouldn't lift up accidentally when...

When Jisung tightened his fingers, held his hand and pulled it off his waist.

They both kept looking into each other's eyes, that little golden dim light shining on their skin, when Minho's heart suddenly stopped.

He... He felt a warmth, a soft warmth touching his fingertips, only to register that...

That Jisung have pushed his hand up inside his t-shirt.

He stayed there froze, as Jisung's eyes quietly gave him the permission, before he suddenly lifted both his hands up, loosely keeping them above his head.

Minho blinked, heart pounding in his chest before...

Before he pulled his other hand out of the younger's shorts and held onto the ends of his t-shirt and... and softly pulled it up, above his head, slowly putting it aside.

And they both immediately stopped breathing.

Jisung stayed there, staring up at him, his heart going crazy with anxiety, while Minho gulped, trying his best to not look down, not look at his chest, at that scar.

But he did. And Jisung closed his eyes the moment he saw Minho's eyes falling onto his chest.

Onto the left side of his chest. Onto that permanent scar around his chest.

Five little lines-like healed deep wounds, scattered circular around one side of his chest. A constant reminder of that night.

"H-He said..."

Minho wanted to look up when Jisung spoke, but he couldn't. He kept looking at that scar, wanting to touch it, kiss it, sooth it somehow, but it felt like it will burn Jisung even more if he touched it.

"H-He said I-" Jisung mumble, choking on the cries building up in his throat.

"H-He shoved his u-underwear in m-my mouth so I c-couldn't shout. H-He said, I would've b-been prettier i-if I h-had a ch-chest like a g-girl..." he almost cried, and Minho's eyes immediately widened in pure horror the moment he understood the meaning of those words.

His hand shaking raised up, pausing just an inch away from touching those healed wounds.

"Y-You mean... t-these are h-his- his-"

"His nails..."

He held him down, grop his chest. Dug his nails into his skin. Kept pressing until his nails pierced his skin, until he felt blood on them.

"N-Nails...?"

And oh Minho's immediately saw red. For some seconds, his mind had nothing on it, not Jisung, not sex, not love. Just red. A gun, a knife, a whatever and a faceless figure that he wanted to kill, wanted to butcher with his own hands.

And the moment his fingers were about to touch those scars-

"I can wear it back..."

And his mind immediately snapped back. He blinked repeatedly, and immediately looked up and saw Jisung's eyes open, staring at the ceiling numbly with tears rolling down to the sides of his face.

"I know i-it's unsettling..." he mumbled, clearly regretting trying to get over this fear "I can w-wear my t-shirt back"

And something suddenly changed in Minho's eyes.

"I-It's ok. I know it's ugl-" Jisung's words were cut off when Minho's suddenly raised his hand, held face in one hand, pulled him down and placed their lips onto each other, as hi other hand rested on his chest, on top of his scar.

More tears left Jisung's eyes as he kept looking at Minho's eyes with his defeated one, seeing Minho looking at him with sharp eyes with his own tears filling his.

Minho's eyes were promising some scary things to him, but they didn't scare him this time.

They both closed them, letting their tears roll down. One had angry, the other has painful, but both of their skins burned with them.

There was a lot Minho wanted to say, there was a lot Jisung wanted to hear, but they both couldn't. Minho didn't trusted his words, Jisung didn't trusted his tears, so they kept quiet, stayed there, closer and closer to each other when...

When Jisung's eyes opened, hips bucked and a whine left his lips into Minho's mouth when he suddenly felt Minho leaving his face and lowering his hand, keeping it on the hem of his shorts, before...

Before his fingers fumbled with it, and he slowly leaned away.

They both kept looking into each other's eyes as Minho quietly waiting for any signs of discomfort, of a rejection, and Jisung waiting for him to just touch him, touch every inch of him and make him his. To make him forget that touch, to give him the touch he can feel on his skin when his own brain haunts him.

And Minho did.

Looking into his eyes, Minho slowly leaned back, sitting on his knees properly, held the hem of the shorts in his hand and immediately pulled them down in one go, pulling them completely off when Jisung lifted and folded his legs up to his chest to help him remove them, before tossing them to their side on the bed.

He held his legs up, knees to his chest, closed as his face burned when Minho kept looking in his eyes, laying there naked for the first time in front of him, while his face, his eyes showed no shame, no shyness, nothing but determination. A determination to claim something that has always been his.

Without any words, Minho held the hem of his own t-shirt with one hand and pulled it off in one go, tossing it away as he kept looking in Jisung's eyes, seeing his body slowly calming down.

Minho kept looking down at the younger laying in front of him with his legs hiding most of his body, and he slowly leaned forward, placing a gentle hand on both of his knees.

Jisung blinked and a shaky breath left his lips when he felt his legs being parted away on their own. He immediately looked away, cheeks and ears burning red as his fingers gripped at the pillow under him to stay put.

Minho stared at him with his eyes getting softer with each second when Jisung opened his legs and lowered them on either side of his, revealing his whole body, his... his every scar.

Every scar that man gave him, every scar he gave himself, every pain, every scream visible, written on his body with permanent ink.

He slowly scooted closer in between his legs, placing his one hand on his upper thigh, slowly caressing the deep but healed long scars on them with his thumb. He leaned forward, down towards the boy's face before rasing his other hand and reaching to his face, softly wiping his tears away.

Minho was mad. He was so so mad. That man took a part of his baby's soul away even before he could come and protect him. He gave him things that he can't erase, can't kiss better, can't sooth anymore.

He leaned forward, attaching their lips together seeing Jisung close his eyes and kiss back slowly, while he on the other hand was trying so hard to not let his tears fill his eyes when his fingers kept caressing on those bumpy lines on his thigh, thinking how bad they must've hurt, how long they would've took to heal.

"You are so pretty" he whispered against his lips, slowly pulling away and lowering himself to the boy's nape, burring his face in and leaving a soft warm kiss.

Jisung blinked his eyes open, feeling Minho's fingers brushing over his scars before his hand traveled up and held onto his waist, caressing there softly.

"D-Don't lie to me" he mumbled with his voice breaking as Minho sighed against his skin, biting and kissing softly with his eyes closed.

"There will never be a day when I will lie to you" he breathed out, biting down softly at his collarbone, earning a little gasp.

"You are pretty. Every part, every inch of you is so so pretty" he whispered, suddenly removing his hand from the boy's face and reaching to their side towards the bottle laying there

"So beautiful" he breathed out before slowly pulling of and sitting back down on his knees in between the boy's legs, holding that bottle.

Jisung panted, his hands gripping softly at the pillow under him, looking at him with drunk hooded eyes with his cheeks and chest red, having his neck covered in red and purple marks, teeth marks all over them.

Minho blinked at him, his own heart racing, seeing a liquid pooling on Jisung's belly as his dick twitched, laying there bare in anticipation.

Minho kept looking at him as he opened the cap of the bottle and slowly poured a generous amount on his fingers, coating them properly on them.

And Jisung felt safe. So so safe.

He always felt safe in Minho's hands, but knowing that Minho knew what he was doing, knowing that he can let himself go completely, just take what he gives him, he felt so light, so safe.

"Tell me if it hurts at any point, hm?"

He blinked and nodded lightly when he saw Minho tossing the bottle to their side and lowering his hand, holding his hip with the other.

His eyes immediately closed and lips parted when he felt Minho's finger touch his hole with a soft light touch.

Minho blinked, looking down, scared and nervous of hurting him, as he slowly carefully pushed his middle finger in fully, immediately looking up to see any sign of discomfort on the younger's face, but all he saw was relief, a relaxed pleasure.

He let out a sigh and leaned forward, keeping his finger in, and burring his face in the boy's nape, immediately biting down softly.

A gasp left Jisung's lips as his back arched when Minho bit down at his skin harshly and pulled his finger out completely before pushing it back in.

"You smell s-so..." Minho trailed off, kissing and biting as his own chest heaved, wanting to touch his own aching dick in his trousers, before he nudged his second finger onto the boy's hole before-

"A-Aah!" Jisung let out in his ear, immediately panting heavily when he pushed that finger in with the other, immediately pushing it all the way in.

Minho panted in his neck, too gone to even keep kissing or do anything but focus on how his body was reacting, how beautiful sounds he was letting out, how fragile he was under him.

"M-Minho!" Jisung whined, gripping at his pillow tightly when Minho parted his fingers lightly, breathing heavily in his neck.

Minho wanted to say 'I love you', tell him how pretty he sounded, but no words were forming on his tongue, in his brain. All he wanted was to fuck him. Right now.

His hips twisted, when Jisung let out a gasp with a tiny cry, arching his back when Minho kept fucking and parting his fingers in him. And...

And oh Minho couldn't take it anymore.

A soft gasp left Jisung's lips when those fingers were suddenly pulled off completely. A opened his eyes, panting heavily, just to see Minho leaning back on his knees in between his legs, removing his trousers, looking in his eyes, and tossing them to their side before reaching for that bottle again.

Jisung's breath hitched when his eyes glanced down the moment Minho removed his lowers, before Minho suddenly hovered back over him, taking a good amount of lube in his palm.

Jisung blinked up at him with big eyes as Minho panted just an inch away from his parted lips and...

"I-It's cold!" he suddenly whined as his body twitched the moment he grabbed his dick with that liquid in his hand.

Jisung blinked as Minho whined and panted, before opening his eyes and looking down at him with a pout on his lips.

"You didn't tell me it's so cold!" he complained and...

And a soft smile stretched on Jisung's lips.

His fingers loosened on the pillow under him as he raised his hand and softly placed it onto the older's cheek, caressing his thump onto the corner of his pout.

Minho blinked and looked into his eyes, letting out a shaky breath as he gently coated his dick with the lube properly, before...

Before a gasp left both of their lips the moment Minho placed his dick onto his hole, failing to stop himself from applying a little pressure immediately.

"I-I'll be careful" he mumbled, his heart thumping in his chest as Jisung kept looking up at him with those dreamy foggy eyes with his one hand softly laying on his cheek and other clutching at the pillow.

"Just tell me, stop me, push me away if I hurt you" Jisung sigh shakily and nodded ever so lightly as his back slowly arched up a little and whole body tensed up when he felt Minho pushing in just a little.

"I-I love you" Minho mumbled, raising his other hand up and placing it onto the younger's cheek, closing his eyes and tilting his head, placing their lips together before-

"Aah!" Jisung let out against his lips as his hand left his face and flew back to the pillow under him, fingers immediately gripping it tightly and eyes squeezing shut when Minho panted heavily and dropped his head, bumping his forehead onto his collarbone and kept pushing in slowly and carefully when-

"H-Hurts! H-Hurt- M-Minho!"

And Minho immediately froze.

He snapped his face up, looking at Jisung with concern in his eyes, seeing him letting out tiny whines with his eyes still closed tightly and feeling his legs shaking slightly.

"I-I'm sorry" he immediately spoke, looking down and seeing his dick half way in, immediately backing away to pull it out when-

"N-No!" Jisung whined out, panting heavily, slowly opening his eyes and looking at him with daze in them "Stay l-like this" he stuttered out "J-Just a moment I-"

"Ok" Minho breathed out, immediately leaning back down and placing a loving kiss on his cheek, raising his other hand up and lacing it in his hair softly, caressing his scalp.

"Your hair is still a little damp" he whispered with a smile, pressing little butterfly kisses on his cheek continuously.

Jisung panted, his body slowly relaxing, breathing calming down as Minho smiled, placing a kiss on his eyes.

"How many times I've told you to dry your hair before coming to bed, hm?" he whispered with a soft smile, seeing Jisung open his eyes a little and glare at him with a tiny pout on his lips.

Minho chuckled, slowly snaking his other hand from his waist to his chest, fingers caressing over that scar softly.

Jisung blinked his eyes open, letting out a shaky sigh as Minho kept looking at him with drunk yet loving eyes.

None of them said anything, they just kept looking at each other and understood each other's heart, before Minho shifted a little, his hand going back down to hold his waist securely in place and let out a shaky breath.

Jisung's breathing calmed down as he kept looking at Minho, clutching his fingers at the pillow when he saw that look in Minho's eyes, before...

"H-Hah" he gasp left his lips but eyes refused to leave Minho's when Minho slowly started pushing in again.

A tiny whine left Minho's lips as he dropped his head, suddenly burring his face in the boy's nape, nuzzling in when he pushed his dick fully in the younger, breathing heavily, before...

"Aah" Jisung let out a tiny dry sob when Minho placed a sloppy kiss on his throat, before pulling out and slowly pushing back in completely.

"I-I love y-you" Minho stuttered out, slowly loosing his mind in the sounds Jisung kept letting out, at how his body kept reacting at his every thrust, how Jisung threw his head back, how his thighs trembled, how his fingers pulled at the pillow.

"F-Fuck" he suddenly breathed out subconsciously when Jisung suddenly clenched around him, letting out a shaky moan when he slowly increased the pace of his thrusts.

Shivers ran down his spine when the sound of their bodies meeting with his every thrust kept ringing in his ears, when Jisung arched his back letting out whiny sobs, when he felt his own fingers clutching at Jisung's waist to hold him down when his body kept jerking up and down as he kept fucking in him with sharp and strong thrusts continuously.

"M-Minho! A-Aah!" Jisung cried, fingers pulling on the fabric of the pillow as Minho kept fucking him, kissing him, biting him with no breaks, when...

When suddenly his eyes shot open.

Wait. It's... It hurts.

His breath hitched and almost stopped when he felt Minho's body suddenly getting tensed and his breathing heavier, and suddenly...

And suddenly his thrusts became harsh, rougher, meaner.

"M-Minh- Aah!" he cried, his hand suddenly flying to Minho's shoulder when his thrusts kept getting faster and it started hurting more and more with each one.

"W-Wait!" he let out but the voice barely came. He tried to push Minho but Minho was way stronger and his hands, his whole body felt like jelly.

"Minho! S-Slow d-down!" he cried, hearing Minho whining in his nape as he kept fucking him faster and rougher with each second, and he immediately understood what was happening.

This was Minho's first time having sex. He was not being able to control his body, his mind with the rush of pleasure in his nerves, the high of probably his orgasm approaching hitting his brain like this for the first time.

"Minho!" so he digged his nails in his shoulder and cried out loudly.

"S-Sto-! AAH! MINHO! S-STOP!"

And... And Minho did.

With his hips twitching, breathing uneven, he suddenly stopped the moment that word left Jisung's lips and immediately pulled himself up from his nape.

Jisung panted, chest heaving as his body trembled under Minho, when he looked up with tears pooling in his eyes, seeing Minho looking down at him with his own chest raising and falling heavy, clearly having difficulty in breathing, forehead covered in sweat, blinking rapidly at him with teary drunk eyes.

"I-I" he panted, trying his best to hold his body up on his shaky hands as he kept twitching and trembling, to clear that fog from in front of his eyes, his mind "I-I feel d-di-dizzy" he stuttered out, words barely audible as he kept panting heavily.

"I know" Jisung suddenly whispered, panting, tears finally rolling down the side of his face before he left the pillow and raised his hand to the older's face, keeping his hand shakily onto his cheek.

"C-Calm down, baby" he breathed out, a shaky adoring smile appearing on his lips when Minho suddenly with weak trembling movements tilted his face in his hand, nuzzling in the warmth of his palm, trying to escape the panic his body, his mind, his heart was in.

"Calm down" Jisung whispered, slowly pulling Minho's face down "It's ok, b-baby. I-It's ok, breathe" he smiled when he felt Minho trying to stay put and not just throw himself on to him and kiss him and kiss him madly.

"Breathe" Jisung whispered softly, before pulling Minho down completely, placing their lips onto each other ever so lovingly.

"Breathe through your nose, baby. Calm down" he whispered, caressing his thumb onto Minho's cheekbone, smiling when Minho nodded shakily and tried to do as he was told to.

And he slowly relaxed. The rush of that sudden pleasure started wearing off from his mind as his breathing stabilized.

Jisung's eyes blinked open when he felt Minho trying to keep himself from moving his hips and just focus on kissing him, and a soft smile stretched on his lips.

"Slow, yeah?" he whispered against his lips, making him open his eyes and lean a little back, panting softly.

Minho blinked, looking in the younger's eyes, before slowly pulling out and pushed in with a controlled movement, immediately feeling his mind crumble up again.

They both let out a shaky breathy moan, slowly closing their eyes as Minho caught a calculated pace, making Jisung shiver under him.

He blinked his eyes open to look at Jisung's face, his closed eyes, his parted lips, his tiny tears, his head thrown back, only for his eyes to land onto the side of his head on the bed.

Onto his hands gripping at the pillow so tightly.

He panted, his thrusts getting sharper as his hooded eyes kept staring at those hands, at those scars on those wrists.

He wanted to hold them. The wanted to tightly hold those hands and promise him to always being there but...

But he was scared.

What if Jisung suddenly panicked? He didn't want to restrain his hands, didn't want to make him fear and panic that he can't push him away.

But he really, really wanted to.

So he did.

He removed his one hand from the bed and reached for Jisung's left hand, softly touching his elbow before, letting him get aware of that touch.

Shivers ran down Jisung's spine as Minho kept fucking into him, slowly and softly caressing his arm, before reaching up for his wrists and stopping.

Jisung's eyes opened slightly the moment Minho let out a gasp, dropped his head and nuzzled into his nape, thrusting into him and panting softly.

He blinked as he felt Minho caressing his fingers on his wrists, on his scars softly, lovingly, before...

Before he slowly reached his fingers up.

Jisung's heart jumped as his own grip on the pillow loosened on its own when he felt Minho reaching his fingers in between his palm.

Minho panted and opened his eyes in his nape, blinking numbly, before slowly intertwining his fingers with the younger's.

And Jisung? He didn't close his fingers.

And the moment Minho panicked and made his mind to pull his hands back-

"T-Thank you" Jisung suddenly breathed out, closed his eyes before tightening his fingers and clutching at Minho's hand desperately, letting those tears roll down.

And Minho... He stopped for a second. It was like, like his body shut down suddenly the moment those fingers closed around his, like...

Like Jisung has allowed him to enter a wall of his heart that he have been standing outside since forever, begging to be let in.

And suddenly, he let out a deep shaky sigh, before holding his waist from his other hand, tightening his hand around his, and immediately fucking into him with sharp thrusts, biting down at his shoulder.

Jisung squeezed his eyes shut, tightly holding onto Minho's hand as Minho fucked into him and... and oh god...

"A-Ahh!" his eyes opened as he blinked rapidly, before his back arched, nails digged in the back of Minho's hand, mouth fell open in a silent moan and eyes roll back and...

And Minho suddenly stopped.

He panted with his heart racing the moment he felt something warm and sticky touching his stomach, only for his mind to spin the moment he looked down at the mess in between their bodies.

His breath hitched as he leaned away a little to look up at the younger and oh his hips suddenly jerked forward on its own the moment his eyes laid on Jisung's face.

His face with his cheeks burning red, tears rolling down the sides of his face, exhausted shaky pants stuttering out of his lips, as his eyes stayed lost and dreamy, like he was not even there.

And god, he was not.

Minho's breath got stuck in his throat when he kept looking into his love's eyes, realizing how lost, how gone he actually was. So he decided to pull out.

He read it, he knows it will hurt now. He read about overstimulation, the discomfort and pain through it if someone is not willingly into enjoying that pain for their pleasure.

So he let out a deep shaky breath, feeling Jisung's fingers, his legs, his whole body slowly loosening up around him, completely exhausted, trembling and twitching lightly

A soft smile appeared on his lips when Jisung tried to whine when he pulled his hand away from his, but failed to let any sound out.

Minho smiled and he leaned back, carefully sitting back on his knees, making sure to not move too much to accidently cause pain to his baby, when...

When his heart jumped a beat and cheeks burned in blush the moment he sat back on his knees and his eyes landed on the younger's waist. On the...

On the red harsh prints of his fingers around the dip of his waist.

He gulped, looking down and softly holding onto Jisung's hips, caressing there gently to sooth him, slowly pulling out when-

"A-Ah..." Jisung let out a tiny cry and immediately tried to close his legs, sniffling as his whole body tensed up a little.

"Sorry" Minho apologized with a tiny guilty smile, slowly grabbing Jisung's knees, making sure to caress them before gently pulling them apart when...

When something suddenly shifted in Jisung's eyes.

He blinked, his eyes as lost, as grey, when he... when he suddenly pulled his legs shakily apart, more than he had this whole time, while looking at Minho like he was bracing himself for something to come.

Minho blinked at him with a little confusion, tilting his head when his legs suddenly slipped from his hands, but he just smiled, and looked down and carefully, slowly started pulling out and...

And Jisung looked down, let out a small breathy whine when Minho pulled out completely and saw that he was still hard, that he hasn't come yet, before looking back up at his face where Minho was looking at him with a sweet loving smile and...

And suddenly parted his lips.

Minho's heart stopped when Jisung panted, trembled, looked completely lost and suddenly opened his mouth and took his tongue out, his hands shakily reaching back for the pillow and clutching at it, trembling.

This... This can't be...

Jisung laid there, waiting.

Waiting to be used like he always was.

' "Aww, you came? Already Sungie? Liked it that much?"

"But see, uncle hasn't come. So be a good boy, quiet down and let him have his fun, hm?" '

Minho kept staring at him, and Jisung saw the horror in them, saw Minho freezing up a little, saw him realizing what was happening in his head.

' "Aw what now? Hurts too much? Ok, open your pretty pretty mouth then, baby" '

There were no voices in his head, but it's like, this was the only way his body knows to react. Everything in his subconscious mind seemed so fresh. More fresh than what he shared with Minho just now.

There was a silence, a pause, a halt of breaths as Minho stared down at him with his heart breaking and aching more than he thought it ever can, and Jisung stayed there with his lips parted, disbelief of what he was doing buzzing in his head, but unable to move, to control his body even a bit, when...

When his eyes suddenly went big, mind snapped and every last bit of energy left his body when he was suddenly pulled up from the bed and two arms were wrapped around him, before a hand was placed on the back of his head securely and his chin landed on that shoulder.

He blinking into nothingness with empty eyes, his hands laying limp on his sides as Minho tightened his hold around him.

Minho didn't say anything, he couldn't, he couldn't trust his voice right now, he couldn't bear crying right now.

So he hugged him, held him tightly in his arms, quietly saying that it's ok, that he was still here. That he is always going to be here.

While Jisung...

Oh Jisung...

"Why... Why me...? Why it has to be me? "