Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Life was so great! Nothing could possibly be better than how things were. You was having a wonderful time in the Uncanny Valley, the new city he had just moved to. Right now, he was with his girlfriend, holding hands as they walked through the park together. The grass was vibrant, the sun warm… It was perfect. He turned to look at his dear partner, who flashed a grin back at him and opened her mouth to speak.

“BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.” She said, still smiling at him.

Before You had a chance to ask if she was okay (as those noises definitely weren’t human), he was suddenly jostled awake, his eyes snapping open as the beeping continued. He groaned, rolling over in his bed and smacking his alarm clock to make it shut up. He sighed, sitting up on the edge of his bed and dragging his hands across his face to try and wake himself up.

After staring at the wall and spacing out for about ten minutes, he finally got on his feet and went to the bathroom. Standing in front of the toilet and pulling down his boxers, he could've sworn he heard something skittering around the small room. He figured it was just a rat, so he paid it no mind.

After getting done with his morning piss, he went over to his shower and grabbed the curtain. Before he pulled it open, he paused, as the skittering was much louder now that he was so close to his shower, almost like the rat was inside. So, he grabbed his plunger to whack it, and swiftly pulled open the curtain. He saw something black trying to climb up the slick walls of his bathtub, and it looked like a furry cat.

You put his plunger back down, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. “Poor thing,” He said, kneeling down to try and get it. “Stop moving, I'm trying to help you out.”

He managed to grab it, and it felt a lot… hairier than expected. He just figured it was some weird kind of cat only found in the valley. It was also weirdly greasy, but since it was obviously a stray, that was to be expected. He held it in his arms like it was a baby, looking down at how it was spastically squirming around. He tried to comfort it by petting it, which actually really seemed to help it relax. It wiggled and laid on its back, and that's when You realized…

“WHAT THE-?!” He yelled, instinctually dropping whatever this thing was. It obviously wasn't a cat, as it had one huge eye in the middle of its body, and nothing else. It had just been flailing around so much, he hadn't noticed…

“Get out! Getoutgetoutgetout!” You grabbed the plunger off the ground, attempting to hit the creature with it. It narrowly missed his attacks, zipping up the windowsill and escaping through the opened window. When it was gone, You sighed, dropping the plunger once again and walking over to the window to slam it shut.

“Vermin…” He mumbled, turning on the cold water for his shower, taking off his boxers, and getting in.

After his shower, he got dressed, then took a piece of bread from the kitchen, taking a bite out of it without even buttering or toasting it. After grabbing his wallet and keys, he left the house and locked the door. He finished his bread on the drive to work, parking his car at a dinky little gas station, the kind that looks like people share drugs behind the building. You didn't care about that, it wasn't his business.

Getting out of his car, he walked to the door and unlocked it, entering the tiny place. He flicked on the lights, flipped the sign on the door to “open”, and found his place behind the front counter. He pulled his little stool closer to it, so he could cross his arms on the counter and rest his head on it. Nobody ever came into the store, usually, so he just saw his job as an opportunity to get some extra sleep, and get paid for it.

He drifted off quickly, and he must've stayed asleep for a good few hours. But sadly for him, he was woken up again at some point. He honestly would've preferred to have been woken up by his annoying alarm again, as that would be a lot less uncomfortable than feeling someone's hand stroking his hair. He jolted up at the sensation, almost falling out of his stool from how much it had startled him.

“Man, who just touches a stranger's hair? What's wrong with you?” He complained, not yet looking up to see who had done it.

“Your hair is soft.” The person replied, in a voice that sounded… off. You couldn't place it, but there was just something a little weird about it.

He glanced up finally to give this rando a properly uncomfortable expression, but You's face contorted even more when he got a look at who this was. They looked like they had just crawled out of a dumpster, and they had a smell to match.. 

He couldn't tell if they were a woman or a man, as their waist was so small and feminine, but their shoulders were broad like a man's. The long, kinky black hair obscuring most of their face didn't help. It almost seemed like it was moving on its own, but You chalked that up to still being half-awake. The parts of their face he could see revealed huge yellow eyes, with pinprick pupils, and a wide smile, with the most askew (also yellow) teeth he had ever seen.

You blinked, processing what he was looking at before responding. “...Okay? That doesn't mean you can touch it. What do you want?”

Silence. They just stared at him, unblinking, for what felt like hours.

“Uh, hello? Are you like, dissociating, or whatever they call it?” You was quickly becoming very uncomfortable with this whole situation.

“Hello,” They finally answered. “What's your name?”

You quirked one of his eyebrows, before gesturing to his nametag. “...You, it says so right there.”

They nodded in acknowledgement, clasping their hands together and grinning ever-wider at him. “Well, my name is…” They spat out a garbled, unintelligible mess of sounds. “...But you can call me John Doe.”

“...Alright. Hi, I guess. Are you gonna buy anything?”

He completely ignored You's question, and leaned forward across the counter, gripping the edge with his sharp-nailed fingers. “Are you doing anything after work?”

“No?”

Silence, one again. He stared at him for a moment, before turning around and leaving. You watched him go, intrigued by his undulating hair. Maybe if this interaction has gone differently, he would've complimented him on it.

You decided it was best to not linger on whatever that was, and just go back to sleep. But now he wasn't tired, and he couldn't get back to bed. He groaned, sat back up, and pulled out his phone to look at. He scrolled mindlessly for a few hours, before his shift was over. The moment the clock hit six, he was out of there and going to his car as fast as possible. While speed-walking to it, he dropped his keys, so had to kneel down to pick them up. When he got back up, that weirdo (John, wasn't it..?) from earlier was back, all up in his face.

“CHRIST!” He yelped, jumping back a bit. “You scared the shit out of me! What the fuck!”

His smile grew once again. “Do you like being scared?”

“Not like that! Jesus!”

Quick as anything, his expression dropped a bit. It wasn't extremely noticeable if you weren't paying attention, but You definitely was. He wanted to watch out just in case this guy tried to pull anything. Doe went quiet again, but instead of staring at him, he looked at his own hands. You, for some reason, suddenly felt a little bad. Maybe this guy was just really bad at making small talk…?

“Look, I'm sorry, you just really freaked me out, don't get sad-” While he tried to apologize, he was quickly interrupted.

“Well!” He perked right back up again, shoulders straightening up. “Can I go home with you?”

“...No. I don't even know you…” You attempted to walk around him and just go on his way, but his shoulders were forcefully grabbed by Doe, digging his nails into his skin and dragging him back.

“But you do know me! We're friends, we talked today!”

“Let go of me, you lunatic! You're insane!” You snapped, flailing around to try and release himself. It was in moments like this that he wished he carried a knife with him.

That must've really hurt his feelings, as he immediately let go of him, and for once, he had an actual frown on his face, with his eyebrows furrowed. You quickly ran to his car and got in before that crazy person had a chance to do anything else. He didn't even bother buckling up, jamming his key into the ignition and slamming his foot on the gas.

When he got home, a pang of anxiety hit him in the stomach when he walked up to the door. It was unlocked… He tried to just tell himself that he had just forgotten to do it before he left, but he really didn't believe it. He took a deep breath and walked inside, and from what he could tell, everything was untouched. He almost relaxed, but when he walked into his living room, who did he see but John Doe sitting on his couch. He was waving at him happily, as if nothing had happened earlier.

You’s eyes widened, and he quickly ran to the kitchen to grab a knife, but he slipped and fell on something slick and awful smelling. It was different hues of red, and his shoes and calves were covered in the sickening stuff. It was a good thing he had a strong stomach, or he would've hurled right then and there. But even if he wasn't one to puke easily, he still gagged a bit, putting his hand over his mouth. While he pushed himself back on his feet, albeit with a lot of slipping around, he heard Doe scrambling into the kitchen, snatching You's hands and helping him up without a second thought.

“Ohh, you stepped on my gift for you! I'll get you a new one later!”

“Why are you in my house?! And what do you mean, “gift”?! That's what you call leaving organs on someone's kitchen floor?!” You pulled away from him, almost falling again as he stumbled back from the momentum.

You looked thoroughly rattled, shaking as he stood there, staring at him. “I think I'm gonna be sick, actually…” 

Doe cocked his head to the side curiously. “Why?”

“Y-you… You make me sick.” His voice shook, and he bolted off to the bathroom, locking the door.

Doe stood in that same spot, shuffling his feet as he processed what You had said. His shoes squelched underneath the mashed-up organs still present on the floor. His pupils blew up to unnatural proportions as he understood what he had meant, and another large, unsettling frown grew on his face.

“B-but…” He stammered, before making a beeline for the front door and leaving. He couldn't believe it; he had ruined his real first impression with the person he loved the most in the whole world. 

He'd just have to try again.

Chapter Text

Life was so great! Nothing could possibly be better than how things were. You was having a wonderful time in the Uncanny Valley, the new city he had just moved to. Right now, he was with his girlfriend, holding hands as they walked through the park together. The grass was vibrant, the sun warm… It was perfect. He turned to look at his dear partner, who flashed a grin back at him and opened her mouth to speak.

“BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.” She said, still smiling at him.

Before You had a chance to ask if she was okay (as those noises definitely weren’t human), he was suddenly jostled awake, his eyes snapping open as the beeping continued. He groaned, rolling over in his bed and smacking his alarm clock to make it shut up. He sighed, sitting up on the edge of his bed and dragging his hands across his face to try and wake himself up.

After staring at the wall and spacing out for about ten minutes, he realized that something felt really weird. It was like… Déjà vu? He decided it was just his mind playing tricks on him, and went off to the bathroom to get ready for work.

After his shower, he got dressed, then took a piece of bread from the kitchen, taking a bite out of it without even buttering or toasting it. After grabbing his wallet and keys, he left the house and locked the door. He finished his bread on the drive to work, parking his car at a dinky little gas station, the kind that looks like people share drugs behind the building. You didn't care about that, it wasn't his business.

Getting out of his car, he walked to the door and unlocked it, entering the tiny place. He flicked on the lights, flipped the sign on the door to “open”, and found his place behind the front counter. He pulled his little stool closer to it, so he could cross his arms on the counter and rest his head on it. Nobody ever came into the store, usually, so he just saw his job as an opportunity to get some extra sleep, and get paid for it. He drifted off quickly, and he must've stayed asleep for a good few hours. But sadly for him, he was woken up again at some point. 

“Um, excuse me?” A soft voice asked. “Are you sleeping?”

You lifted his head, looking at the customer blearily. “Well, I was. What do you need?”

The guy had long, curly black hair that looked like it had a mind of its own. He had a nervous smile on his face, and large, downturned, dark eyes. He was rubbing his arm nervously, which seemed to be covered in faded scars of self-inflicted origin. They were on his other arm, too. He had on a black T-shirt and a hoodie, which he was wearing very incorrectly. You sort of thought he was a little cute, honestly.

“I wanted some of that,” He said, pointing behind You to where the packets of cigarettes were kept.

“Oh, okay.” He stood up, unlocking the cabinet and grabbing the brand he had pointed at. He put them on the counter, sticking his palm out at the customer. “Can I see your ID?”

He seemed to freeze up, biting his bottom lip nervously. “Uh… I forgot it at home. But I can tell you my name! It's…” He paused for a moment, seeming to be in thought. “...Hard to pronounce. You can just call me John Doe! Or Doe, for short.”

“Well, hey. I'm You. But I'm sorry, that's not gonna cut it.” He replied, turning back around and putting them up.

“Oh! That's okay, I understand.” Doe nodded, playing with his hair by wrapping it around his index finger. “...Are you doing anything after work?”

You shook his head, sitting back down on his stool. “No, probably just gonna watch that new episode of “The Real Housewives of The Uncanny Valley”. I'm a sucker for trash TV.”

“Me too!”

“Really? Isn't it so fun to see those people fighting about stupid shit? Makes me laugh every time.”

“Definitely!” He nodded once again, more vigorously this time. “Well, I have to go… I'm sorry to have bothered you for no reason.”

“It's fine, I get it. Have a nice day, John. By the way, I love your hair.” You laid his head back on the counter after replying to him.

“T-thank you!” Doe stammered out as he left, the bell on the door ringing behind him.

You slept for the rest of his shift, waking up a few minutes before his shift was over. The moment the clock hit six, he was out of there and walking to his car. On the way to it, he dropped his keys, so had to kneel down to pick them up. When he got back up, there was that guy from earlier, seeming to have appeared out of thin air. You jumped back a little and yelped, thoroughly startled.

“Gah! Oh… It's just you. You scared me! You shouldn't sneak up on people like that.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!” Doe frowned. “But, you do look cute when you're scared.”

“...Thanks? That's a bit of an odd compliment.”

“I've never been the best at them, haha…” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Meh, that's okay, you made an effort. Anyway, did you come find me again to ask me something, or…?”

“Actually, I did! I was wondering if I could go home with you..? To like, hang out!”

“I mean, uh, I don't really know you, man…”

He looked a little panicked, gripping a lock of his hair tightly. “Well, how are we supposed to get to know each other better if we don't hang out? It's the perfect opportunity!”

“Hm… I guess you have a point. Well, go on and get in the passenger’s side.” You walked over to his car, getting in the driver's side and turning on the ignition. “You must have a real sense of charm or something if I'm letting this happen, you could totally kill me right now.”

“I would never!” Doe climbed in, sitting in the seat with his legs crossed. 

“I guess I'll just have to trust you on that,” You backed out of the parking lot, getting on the highway to drive home. The silence felt odd, so he attempted to make a little small talk. “You know, man, I feel like I've seen you somewhere before… I've been getting this weird sense of déjà vu all day.”

“That's so odd,” He replied. “I get that feeling sometimes too.”

He hummed in acknowledgement of what he had said, continuing the drive home. After parking his car in the garage and getting out, he unlocked the door.

“Alright, go on.”

Doe grinned at him. “I'm so so so excited to spend time with you!” He practically skipped in the house after. It was sort of endearing, really.

Ok

You stood in the living room with him, tapping his foot. “I don't have company over a lot… Do you want me to get you something from the kitchen?”

He suddenly looked really freaked out, his black hair practically standing on end. “NO! I mean… No, don't go into the kitchen…”

“...Okay?”

Things got awkwardly quiet for a beat after that. “Um, we should just watch TV! You were talking about that new show earlier, right?”

“Oh, yeah. The new episode should be starting any time now.” You sat on the couch and slouched into it, before grabbing the remote and turning the TV on, flicking through channels until he found the one he was looking for.

Doe sat next to him, still leaving a good amount of space between them. “I love this show. I'd love to be able to watch TV with you all the time.”

He turned to look at You, a warm smile on his face. “I'm just so happy to be here with you.”

You nodded in agreement, looking back at him. “Yeah, actually, this is surprisingly nice.”

Doe got quiet again, still smiling at him. You just figured it was just the fact he wasn't that good at talking, and went back to watching his show. But after a few minutes, he spoke up again.

“Do you like me… Like this?”

You didn't take his gaze away from the catfight currently happening on screen. “I mean, I guess so. I think I gotta get to know you better, though.”

But after completely taking in what he had said, he turned back to look at Doe again. “Wait… What do you mean, “like this”...?”

Doe’s face fell. “...Oh. In that case…”

You scrambled back until his back hit the armrest of his couch as he watched Doe's face contort unnaturally, eyes bulging out of his skull with huge pupils, a yellow smile with about four rows of visible teeth smiling at him, and more eyes appearing in his unkempt, suddenly moving mane of hair. Some tendrils of the greasy locks wrapped around You's forearms, dragging him close. When his head was resting on this… creature's chest, more hair wrapped around his waist and neck, squeezing him until he couldn't breathe.

“LET’S GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.” A warped voice said to him.

You choked, saliva burbling out of his mouth as he tried to fight against his binds. A million thoughts were going through his head at the moment, but the most prominent was the fact he had suddenly realized why this guy had given him such a weird feeling of déjà vu… 

He tried to do something, anything, to keep from passing out, but being trapped so tightly like this didn't give him many options. But with all his memories from the day prior coming back to him, he did have one idea. He blocked all the other thoughts rushing through his mind at the moment, and made sure one stayed at the forefront. “I love you, I'm sorry”.

To You's shock, his spur-of-the-moment plan actually worked. The tendrils loosened, giving him a chance to breathe. Instead of choking him and holding him so tight, now they seemed to be petting him. It felt disgusting, but You would definitely take this over the other option.

“Really? You mean it?” Doe looked down at him, his face having gone back to somewhat normal. His large yellow eyes and smile seemed to be here to stay, though the pupils in his eyes were still huge, with hearts in the middle.

“Uh-huh…” You croaked. “C-can you let me go…?”

“But what if you leave me?” The tendrils began to tighten up again.

Panic sunk into You's body again. “I-I won't! I swear!”

“Well, okay…” He reluctantly set him free.

You didn't dare move away from him, lest he do something again, but it was still nice to be free from all of that. He was still on high alert, involuntarily holding his breath until he was let go. He took a big breath out when the ties were gone.

“You really do love me, right?” Were the next words out of Doe’s mouth, as he rested his chin on You's shoulder. “You weren't just saying that?”

You nodded stiffly. “Y-yes, I do love you.”

“Darling! I knew it!” He wrapped his scarred arms around his waist and pulled him back against his chest again, this time a little more gently. “I love love love you! I was worried you only liked me if I looked like I did earlier! It's really hard to hold myself together like that,” He sighed, his hot breath hitting You's cheek. It smelled like death.

You fought back the urge to gag, biting the inside of his cheek. He was able to stand the funny smell that seemed to follow this guy wherever he went, but his trash-breath was a bit too much for him. “Urk- Uh, it is? How interesting…”

He nodded in agreement, changing positions so he was looming over You in an intimidating fashion. Whether that was on purpose was up for debate. He leaned close to his face so their noses were touching, and threaded his four fingers through You’s white hair. “You’re the best, darling…” He cooed, but it came off as way more creepy than romantic.

He licked his lips with his long, red tongue and puckered up, leaning closer and closer to You while he tried to scoot away. You’s face was contorted in disgust as he tried to avoid the kiss coming at him. He looked around the room spastically for some way to get out of it, before his eyes landed on the bathroom door.

“I have to pee!” He yelped, jumping up and running into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it behind him.

He leaned against the door and slid down it until his bottom hit the floor, sighing with relief. That relief was short-lived, though, as he quickly heard (and felt) rapid, erratic scratches on the other side. Along with it came ear-bleeding screeches, absolutely inhuman in nature. You startled at the racket, jumping up and backing away from the door.

“DON’T LEAVE ME!” A familiar voice screamed from the other side. “I NEED YOU!”

You froze in fear. If Doe broke that door, which was bound to happen eventually, he’d be utterly screwed. He backed away from it until his back was pressing up against the wall farthest from it, his veins throbbing with adrenaline. He scanned the room for something to defend himself with, grabbing the showerhead in his bathroom, as it was the first thing his eyes landed on. He turned on the scalding hot water just in time, as at that same moment, Doe actually managed to tear down the door, charging at him with a horrifying, contorted expression on his face. You turned his head away and pointed the showerhead right at him, which made him let out a guttural howl that eventually turned into a gurgle, like he was drowning. You thought he was being dramatic until he looked at him again, and noticed that he was literally melting. No exaggeration, he was turning into a puddle of goop on the ground, including his clothes.

“Oh my god,” You mumbled, turning off the water and tossing the showerhead back into the tub. “Did I kill him?!”

As an existential crisis quickly began to set in, something crawled out from under Doe’s melted remains. It was that weird little creature from the day before, staring up at him with that huge eye. It looked really sad for being a creature, with a huge pupil like it was trying to do puppy-dog eyes.

“Oh,” You stared at it. Or.. him? “Uh… I thought I killed you. Sorry. I didn’t know water would do that…”

He made a funny chittering noise at him, but You couldn’t tell what it meant.

“Look, you kind of had it coming,” He shrugged. “You can’t just force someone to love you, it doesn’t work like that. Especially when you trick a person by being something you’re not. Or by choking them out. Frankly, I’m terrified of you. By the way, I don’t appreciate my day being reset and my memories being wiped.”

Doe hid behind a dusty faux plant You had as decoration, presumably from shame. Or maybe he was just sad about being called out, You would never know. Despite his better judgment, You walked over to him and kneeled down, petting him kind of stiffly.

“You seem nice enough,” You sighed. “Or, you did, before you started acting crazy. But anyway, I think you just don’t know what you’re doing. Maybe we could start over, try and be friends? I feel kind of bad for you. Or maybe your crazy just rubbed off on me.”

He crawled into his lap, purring like a cat. Maybe he was more similar to one than You thought. In any case, You relaxed a little, though he could still feel his heart beating out of his chest. He tried to ignore it, and stroked Doe more naturally. You realized how odd this whole thing was, sitting on his bathroom floor with some awful thing in his lap that had tried to kill him before he melted it. And it was apparently in love with him…? You was great at ignoring and shrugging off a lot of things, but this was something he would never be able to forget about.

Chapter Text

“Okay, I’m gonna go to sleep now. You can go home.” You stood up from the couch, placing the doeball on the beige carpeted floor. He didn’t make any attempt to move, instead trying to crawl up You’s leg. You kicked him off, sighing. “You’ll survive. Go, I’d like to have some privacy.”

Doe made a noise of displeasure, but he sulked off and left the home like You had asked. You sighed once he was gone, going to the bathroom to wash his hands of all the grease he had accumulated on them from petting Doe. After that, he went to his room, stripped off all his clothes except for his underwear, and flopped onto his plain white bed. He fell asleep almost immediately when his head hit the pillow, which wasn’t surprising.

During the night, he was woken up by the feeling of arms around his waist. He moaned, groggily changing positions to see who was bothering him. He knew who it was, but being so tired, he still felt the need to check. As expected, a big, yellow set of teeth were smiling at him, along with one big yellow eye. You blinked and stared, expecting it to just be the lighting making him look weird. But upon closer inspection, he was definitely just a cyclops.

“Your eye…” You mumbled sleepily. “And why are you here, it’s late… I’ve already had to deal with you all day.”

“I just couldn’t stay away from you!!” Doe replied, squeezing him a little tighter. “And my eye…?” He actually looked embarrassed for once, trying to cover his little mistake with his hair. “I messed it up!! Noo!!”

“Whatever, I already saw you as a little nuisance or whatever. And one eye definitely isn’t as bad as when you pull those creepy fucking faces. You should quit doing that, I’m gonna nip that in the bud right now.”

He pouted at him. “Oh, okay…”

“Uh-huh. Can you give me some space?” You squirmed out of his arms, getting up out of his bed. “If you really just can’t stand to be away from me, go sleep on the couch or something.”

“But, you’re so nice and warm… I can feel your organs moving…” He tried to pull the puppy-dog eyes on him again, but with only one eye, it had a completely different effect, not to mention what he was saying did not help matters.

You’s face turned a little green. “Say that shit again and I’m welding my windows shut. Go, get out of my room. Be thankful I’m not completely kicking you out for that.”

He sighed, but got up like he had asked. He dragged his feet on the way out and hung his head, but still took the time to peck You on the back of the head. You did a double-take, but Doe had already closed the door behind himself.

You wiped the back of his head and got back into bed, trying to get back to sleep. He pulled both of his thick blankets over himself, but he was still chilly. He would never admit it, even to himself, but he thought for only a second about inviting Doe back in so he could warm up a little. He quickly realized that was a dumb thought, and just went to bed that night shivering a bit. Maybe if he had closed the window, he would’ve been better off.

The next morning, You did his daily routine, as always. Stare at the wall for a bit, go pee, take a shower, brush his teeth, get dressed, and go get a slice of bread from the kitchen. Going through the living room to get there, he saw Doe watching something on the TV. He glanced at him for a moment, which resulted in him excitedly waving back at him and smiling. You made no response, continuing on his way to the kitchen. But of course, You’s cold shoulder still didn’t stop Doe from trying to initiate a conversation.

“Hello, good morning, my love! You look so beautiful! I cleaned your toothbrush for you before you woke up!”

That was enough to make You turn around and stare at him. “You did…? How?”

He stuck out his tongue, pointing at it while grinning. He slurped back up and nodded. “Are you happy?”

“Nope, I’m going to block that out. Don’t you dare follow me to work. And I don’t trust you alone in my house, so go back home. Or to your trash can, I don’t know where you live.”

“But… I swear I won’t bother you! Let me go, please?” He whined, clasping his hands together like he was in prayer.

You sighed, dragging his hand across his face. “I can’t trust you, you tried to kill me yesterday! Which I still don’t understand, if you love me so much. Like, are you stupid, man? Or do you just have a weird fetish?”

“I didn’t wanna kill you,” He replied, sounding sad. “I didn’t want you to leave me, I didn’t know it would hurt you…”

“You’re such a fucking idiot,” You groaned. “Well, at least now I know you don’t have homicidal tendencies… On purpose, at least.”

“But I do have a fetish!” He chirped happily, his mood changing on a dime.

“Do not elaborate on it, I don’t wanna know the twisted shit you’re probably into. Now, you’re gonna make me late for work, I have to go. Don’t stay in my house.”

“Please!” He screeched, getting on the floor and wrapping his arms around You’s leg like a child. “I love you, don't leave me! I swear I won’t do anything! I just don’t want to be alone!”

You gawked at him as he begged, acting like he was going to have a breakdown. He did not want to have to deal with him completely going off the deep end again, so he groaned and nodded at him. “Fine, oh my God, you can come with me. Don’t pull any stupid shit.”

Doe’s face lit up, and he stood up to squeeze You in a very tight hug. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! I’ll be good!” He pecked his face repeatedly, until You put his hand on his face and pushed him back a bit.

“Don’t kiss me, gross!”

“Oh…” His face fell again, his permanent grin faltering.

You fought his way out of the hug, dusting himself off. “Follow me, come on already.”

He walked to his car and got in, with Doe following closely behind him. He leaned on You the whole time he drove, practically glued to him at this point. When he parked his car and got out, he went behind the counter like always and sat on his little stool. He rested his head on the counter, getting ready for his during-work nap. Doe sat down on the floor next to him, resting his back against the back of the counter. He stared up at him in pure infatuation, even though You was doing absolutely nothing of interest.

You went to sleep for a while, but he was inevitably woken up by someone. He groggily lifted his head to see who it was, and saw a short woman with messy blonde hair in a top knot glaring at him. She had a large pair of glasses on her face, that she pushed up her nose with a manicured nail. He blinked at her, letting his brain buffer before he finally said something.

“Hello, what do you want?” He murmured.

“There's some kind of creature in here messing with everything.” She griped, pointing behind her at Doe, who had his head below the slushie machine and was drinking from it. “You should do something about it, it's disgusting.”

“Christ,” You groaned. “I don't care. He's not hurting anything, let him live.”

At the sound of You's voice, Doe backed off from the machine to look at him. He really didn't care what anyone thought of him, unless it was You, of course. So, he was interested in what he was going to say.

“Did you even want a slushie, or did you really just wake me up to complain about what someone else was doing?”

The lady frowned, crossing her arms. “It doesn't matter if I wanted one or not, it's unsanitary.”

“You really thought some ratchet ass gas station would be sanitary? Well, aren't you so smart?” He replied with a pound of sarcasm in his voice.

“You're so rude! You can't talk to paying customers like this!”

“Paying? You haven't bought anything, lady. Buy something or leave, I don't have time to listen to you complain.”

She huffed and turned on her heel to leave, storming out like an angry toddler. You sighed and rested his head again, but felt a hand suddenly stroking his back as he tried to relax.

“You really do love me!” Doe squealed, resting his head on You's shoulder, like he seemed to love to do. 

You arched an eyebrow at him. He was about to ask why he would think that, when it clicked for him. “Did you think I was defending you or something?”

He nodded excitedly, his smile growing as You spoke. It was so wide, it looked like it would snap his head in half if he went any farther with it.

He sighed. He was going to be blunt and tell him that he would never defend him in his life, but he didn't want him to do something rash. And besides, he looked kind of sweet, so happy about something he had just figured happened in the first place.

Wait, what? Sweet? You shook his head. That was a crazy thing to say, with how insane this guy was. He needed to quit thinking so much before he decided to read his mind again.

“Yeah, I was. You should be able to do what you want,” You finally replied, trying to make his lie convincing.

Doe squealed with delight, going in to kiss You's cheek, before pulling away last-minute. He looked kind of nervous, just staring at his face. You arched an eyebrow at him in confusion.

“What? Why are you just staring?”

Doe kept his head on You's shoulder, but made sure his face wasn't too close to his. “You don't like it when I kiss you,” he whined. “So I didn't.”

…Well, wasn't that a bit endearing? Seemed he wasn't as dumb as You thought, if he had finally caught onto his feelings. Even if they were obvious the whole time.

“Maybe I wouldn't have minded if you would ask, man. You gotta ask people about things like that, you can't just do them out of the blue.”

He blinked his saucer-like eyes at him. “You can't?”

He shook his head. “Nope. You really should ask about hugs and stuff too, I don't like it when people just jump on me like you do. Freaks me the hell out.”

“I'm sorry,” He sighed, pulling himself away from You and just standing behind him, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Don't hate me… please!”

You turned in his stool to look at him, resting his elbows on his knees so his hands could cup his face. “I don't hate you, you need to stop jumping to conclusions. You just really get on my nerves sometimes.” That was partly true, partly a lie. Sometimes, he really did hate him, but he would keep that to himself for the time being.

He grinned again, rushing to hug him once more, arms wide open. He stopped while he was leaning down, hesitating and pulling his arms back to his sides, slowly. “Is it okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah, go on.”

With that confirmation, he jumped on him, sitting in his lap and wrapping his arms around him tightly. He stared at his face for what seemed like forever, studying it as if it was a beautiful work of art. He put one of his four-fingered hands on You's cheek, gently rubbing his thumb against it.

“You…” He sighed, speaking with so much adoration in his voice. His eyes were half-lidded, revealing his black eyelids that dropped down over them.

You still thought this whole thing was really weird, but he wasn't as uncomfortable as he had been before. He was still a little stiff, but he wasn't actively trying to fight his way away from him or anything like that. Maybe he was just feeling this way because of how inexperienced he was with love?

“What about me?” You asked, unsure of what to do with himself.

“Oh…” Doe didn't bother replying, just moaning like a whore and smelling the nape of You's neck. He was guiding his free hand down to his crotch, not bothering to be sneaky about it.

“I think you're getting too excited,” You’s eyes widened, and he gently pushed Doe off. He whined as he lost contact with him, attempting to climb back on his lap before You made it very clear he wasn't having any of that.

“Sorry! Don't hate me!” He spat out the words very fast, like he was afraid if he hesitated at all, You would turn away from him, or, worst of all, leave him. “You're just so pretty, I want to chop you up and watch you bleed…”

“Um, no. Absolutely not. I'll die.” You replied stiffly, trying not to show how sick that made him. He turned back away from Doe, resting his head on the counter. "I'm going to nap, don't wake me up if you can help it.”

“Okay!” He chirped, just standing there and watching him drift off.

Chapter Text

Life was so great! Nothing could possibly be better than how things were. You was having a wonderful time in the Uncanny Valley, the new city he had just moved to. Right now, he was with his girlfriend, holding hands as they walked through the park together. The grass was vibrant, the sun warm… It was perfect. He turned to look at his dear partner, but she didn't face him.

“Babe?” He reached out his free hand, running it through her curly black locks. Her hair was a little tangled, and a bit dirty, so he tried to finger-comb it for her.

While he did, his girlfriend's neck suddenly snapped, her head twisting around unnaturally to look at him. Her face was completely different, some kind of inhuman thing with too many teeth and large eyes with yellow sclera. You jumped, backing away from her and trying to remove his hand from her hold. She only tightened her vice-like grip, her sharp nails digging into his skin. Everything around the two of them had turned black, and now it was just them, in a black, endless void. Tons of eyes appeared in the void, all staring at You intently.

“Let me feel your guts!” She screamed, jumping on him and pinning him to the ground. You tried to fight her off, but he froze when he saw her pull out a large butcher's knife, caked in old blood.

She immediately dug it into his chest, making You wail in agony as she dragged it all the way down past his navel. The pain was so unreal, he felt like he was on a different plane of existence as she dropped the knife and used her hands to split open his middle further. She grabbed out his intestines, squeezing out the contents of them like an applesauce packet, before beginning to devour them. You wanted nothing more than to die, but apparently, that wasn't going to happen. He just had to watch her devour his innards, and deal with the unimaginable pain it was dealing him. She eventually picked up the knife again, pointing it at his head. You panicked, trying to scream or move, but he was completely frozen. As she lowered the knife, right before it was about to hit his flesh, he woke up.

He gasped, falling out of his stool and onto his back, his head hitting the linoleum floor the hardest. His heart was beating out of his chest, and now he felt a headache coming on. He got back onto his feet slowly, groggily rubbing the back of his head.

“Are you okay??” He felt hands on his shoulders, and saw a concerned-looking Doe staring at him. His eyebrow (yes, eyebrow,) was furrowed in worry, and his grip on You tightened when he didn't immediately answer.

“I-I’m fine,” You replied, still trying to catch his bearings. “I just had a bad dream.”

“What was it about?”

You bit his lip awkwardly. “...Worms. I hate worms.” He quickly left Doe’s hold, and turned to look at the clock. “My shift is over, I'm going home. Do you want me to drop you off?”

“Can't I stay with you for another night? I've been good all day! I haven't annoyed you once!” He grinned at him hopefully, clasping his hands in front of his chest tightly.

While that most certainly wasn't true, You still was of the opinion that it would be much easier for him to just let him come along, instead of saying no and him having a total psychotic break again. He'd have to remember to lock up his knives before he went to bed, though.

“Fine.” He grumbled. “You'd better keep this up, I don't mind you that badly if you're being a normal person. Or… kind of normal.”

“Yay!” His grin widened, and he wrapped some tendrils of hair around You's arm. “Come on, come on, come on! Let's go! I want to spend more time with you, my love!”

You felt a pang of anxiety as the hair wrapped around him, but shook it off. He was being silly, Doe was way too infatuated with him to ever hurt him. On purpose, at least… But, did he even know that slicing someone up like sushi would kill them? With the way he talked, You really doubted it. He knew he had apologized for hurting him yesterday, but he just wasn’t sure.

While You had been thinking, Doe had dragged him all the way outside, and in front of the driver's side door of his car. He was bouncing from one foot to the other, hair twirling and moving quickly, like many small tentacles on his head. 

“Open it, open it!” He sang. 

“You're very patient,” You smirked at his own sarcastic comment as he unlocked the car. “Go on, get in the other side.”

Doe nodded and did as he ordered, sitting in the seat very oddly, his legs folded up in unnatural positions. You got in after him and made the drive home. Doe was quiet the whole time, staring at You, as to be expected. The two of them got back to You's home without any qualms, and Doe continued to follow You inside, still silent.

“How are you so perfect?” He cooed, reaching out his hand to him, but pulling it back as he remembered what You had told him earlier. “You're amazing… My love… I want to feel you from the inside…”

You had gone to the kitchen and was putting up the knives somewhere safe when Doe said that. He figured he would be getting used to the wild things he said by this point, but that still made him turn around and raise his eyebrow at him.

“...Like… Sex? Or cutting me open and sticking your hand in me…” He shuddered.

His face lit up. “Ooohhh, would you like me to do that? Wouldn't it be so fun?!”

“NO…” You frantically shook his head. “I don't know if you know this, but humans are weak. You're obviously not one, so I don't know how you work… But you can't cut up people or choke them and expect them to be okay.” He pointed to some purple bruises on his neck from yesterday.

Doe looked at You meekly as he mentioned the choking thing from the day prior. “I didn’t know you people are so delicate… I cut myself all the time, and I’m fine!” He pulled down the sleeve on his hoodie to his elbow to show the many scars scattered across his flesh.

“...Did you carve my name into your arm…?” You had a very unsettled expression on his face.

Doe nodded excitedly, pulling his sleeve back up. “Uh-huh! I love it, you’ll be with me forever like this…”

You’s expression continued to contort in concern and disgust. “Are you a masochist?”

“...A what?”

He sighed. “You know, you get off to pain…” He blushed a little as he explained, hoping he wouldn’t have to go into more detail.

“In that case, I guess so, yeah!”

“Well, then. I guess I learned something new. Anyway, this is all off-topic. You can slice yourself, and you’ll always be able to just reform yourself, I think. But people aren’t like that. It’s way more permanent. If I sliced up my arms like that, I could definitely die.” 

Doe looked shocked, his face going a little pallid. “Die? Really? I don’t want you to die!” He wailed, latching himself to You’s side. “Don’t die! Don’t!”

You’s shoulder was getting covered in inky black tears as Doe sobbed; he would never get used to how quickly his emotions could switch. He attempted to comfort him, awkwardly patting his back with his free arm. “Hey, uh, it’s fine, don’t cry… I won’t die as long as you don’t hurt me…”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT HURTS YOU!” He screeched, loudly enough for You to flinch and try to cover his ears.

“I’ll tell you! I’ll tell you!!” You quickly replied, hoping that would be enough to make him relax a bit. 

He sniffled, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “Y-you will?”

“Yeah, okay? So quit crying, there’s nothing to get so out of sorts about right now.” You sighed with relief, wiggling out of Doe’s grip.

Doe grabbed his arm again, keeping a pretty tight hold on it. “Okay, I won’t…” 

You just accepted his fate, and walked into the living room with Doe still holding his arm in a death grip. Even when You sat down on the couch, Doe didn’t let go, and rested his head on his shoulder, as well. You tried to escape his grip once again, but that only made Doe tighten his hold again, groaning in displeasure.

“I want a drink,” You said, while still trying to squirm away from him. 

“But I want you!”

“I’ll only be gone for a minute, I swear, okay? Just lemme go. Besides, you’re kind of hurting me, your nails are digging into me…”

That was enough to make Doe pull away, but now he looked all freaked out again. “I hurt you??”

“But it’s fine!!” You quickly tried to backtrack, waving his hands in front of himself spastically. “Really! I’m okay now, you didn’t know, there’s no need to do anything rash!”

“Are you sure?” He pouted.

“I couldn’t be more sure of anything in my life,” You replied as he left for the kitchen.

He opened the fridge and fetched a can of beer, cracking it open and walking back to the couch to sit down. He chugged the whole thing in one fell swoop, with Doe watching intently. He made a noise when You got back up, but he didn't try and drag him back or anything. You tossed the now-empty can, and got a new one from the fridge, before walking back again. He continued this cycle for a little bit, until he almost fell flat on his face trying to get up from the couch again. Doe grabbed him around the waist and brought him back down, thankfully.

“You almost fell,” He said, pouting, before pulling his arms off of his waist, albeit hesitantly.

You hiccuped. “Ah, who cares?” 

For once, the roles swapped, and now You was staring at Doe, his cheeks flushed. Doe happily stared back at him, not thinking anything was out of the ordinary.

“You know, man,” You slurred. “I don't know why I'm so scared of you, you're sexy as fuck.”

Doe obviously wasn't one to fluster easily, but for You to say something like that, it was enough to make his whole face turn red. His hair began to move a little quicker than normal, and his pupils blew up, with little red hearts in the middle. “I-I am?” He stammered out.

You's head lolled back and forth as he nodded. “Uh-huh, yeah. You're really something~” 

He clumsily reached out a hand to Doe, snaking it under his hoodie and black shirt. Doe watched his hand make its way to his chest, and felt it squeeze his chest. A big, stupid grin appeared on his face as soon as he felt it.

“You're built like a woman,” You continued to grope him, letting his other hand feel up one of his thighs.

Doe huffed, squirming under You's touch. He was spitting out a bunch of word vomit under his breath as You continued to get more intimate. 

You pulled his hands away from him for only a moment, getting off the couch and clumsily getting on his knees between Doe’s legs. He hitched his fingers around the waist of his pants, pulling them off in a drunken fervor. He looked up at Doe from this new position, a wobbly smirk on his face.

“You go commando?” He laughed, burping loudly in the middle of it. After his laughter subsided, he looked at what was between Doe's legs like he was trying to be serious, but he was so utterly wrecked, it really didn't come across right.

The appendage was innately inhuman; a black, slimy thing that was currently writhing around like a chopped off tentacle. It was completely smooth, and it seemed to be simply pouring slime off of its surface, the more excited Doe got. He was starting to buck against the air, getting so utterly aroused just by the knowledge that You was looking at his most sensitive part.

“Mmh, it's so…” You mumbled, reaching out a hand and grasping the slippery thing tightly, making Doe scream in pleasure.

“Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease-” He chanted, as if that would make You do anything else. 

You leaned forward quickly, somehow taking the whole thing down his throat in one go, barely gagging. This prompted Doe to grab You's head tightly, digging his sharp nails into his scalp so tightly, he was drawing blood. He continued babbling nonsense as he began to thrust into You's throat, making the other man choke and gag as the thing grazed his tonsils.

Lewd noises filled the room, until a shot of black goo went down You's throat. It came out so violently, it shot out his nose, dribbling down his lips and chin pathetically. The rest he managed to swallow, gasping for air as Doe finally pulled out.

“Darling…” Doe panted, his abnormally long tongue lolling out of his mouth.

“...You cum fast,” You commented in a sleepy voice, laying down on the carpeted floor. “I feel…” He yawned, just shutting his eyes and not bothering to finish his sentence.

Chapter Text

"My head…” You groaned, slowly sitting upright. He was sort of delirious, with a pounding headache and no idea what time it was, or where he was in the first place. His sinuses burned, and there was an awful taste in his mouth, like vomit and rotten food mixed together into one. He felt something tickling the back of his throat, so he stuck his hand in his mouth to pull the foreign object out. 

It was a hair.

A short, black, curly hair.

“Christ,” You flicked the hair off of his finger, dragging a hand across his face. “What did I do…? I can't remember anything…”

Looking around the dark living room, he saw a familiar face sleeping on his couch, nude from the waist down. You quickly averted his eyes, but he thankfully hadn't seen much because of the black bush covering most of his crotch. 

He was starting to get an inkling of what might have happened, which put a sinking sense of dread in his chest. He sighed, pulling himself back up to his feet and dragging himself to the kitchen. He fixed himself a cup of water, gargling it and spitting it back out into the sink to try and get rid of the bad taste in his mouth.

After that, he shuffled to his room, enjoying the darkness; it helped soothe his raging headache. He climbed into bed, also appreciating the fact he was able to have some solitude for once, even if he knew Doe would probably barge in eventually. He pulled the covers over his head and shut his eyes, groaning in discomfort.

As expected, he eventually heard footsteps enter the room, walking up to the other side of the bed. The bed creaked a little as Doe climbed in, pressing himself right up against You's back. He went under the covers as well, so he could wrap tendrils of hair loosely around his arms.

“Hello,” You greeted him with an exasperated tone.

Doe hummed contentedly, burying his face in the crook of You's neck. You was just going to accept it and try to relax, before he felt something damp touch his leg. He flinched, immediately pulling his leg away a bit.

“What the fuck was that?” He said with a gasp.

Doe ran his hand down You's side, laughing. “My love… Just being near you has me all worked up! You should help me out again!”

You stayed quiet for a minute. “...Help you out?”

“Don't you remember?” More hair continued to wrap around him, holding him close. “You said I was sexy… And then you took off my pants… and then you put my part in your mouth…”

You felt like he had swallowed a rock. Out of all the things he could possibly do while he was drunk, this was THE WORST. Absolutely no contest whatsoever. 

“WHAT.” He yelled, which caused himself to flinch, as it exacerbated his headache. The wet feeling grew on You, as some kind of tentacle-thing was rubbing against his crotch. He made a face, but he didn’t try to get away from it.

“There’s no way I would’ve done that,” He finally continued, feeling his face flush as the appendage continued to prod at him. “And are you the one touching me?! …Quit that!”

“I can’t help it,” Doe complained. “I’m too excited… Can you make me feel good again? Pleeeease? Nobody has ever done anything like that to me.”

You squirmed around, feeling heat shoot down between his legs. He didn’t want to admit it, but he really didn’t mind what was happening to him right now. He bit back a moan as he felt Doe clumsily rub his hands all over him. But as quickly as he felt himself getting stiff, You immediately lost all the lust in his system, as Doe chomped right into his shoulder, straight through the fabric of his shirt, making him scream in pain.

He threw the covers off of himself, sitting up and hissing with his teeth gritted. “Damn it… What the hell was that for?!”

Doe sat up as well, looking at the spot on his shirt that was quickly turning crimson. “I thought you'd like it…” He replied meekly.

“No! That shit hurt!” He snapped. “I'm gonna have to glue this shut…”

“It hurt?” The frown that was already on Doe’s face grew. He latched onto You, burying his face in his side. “I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't be mad! I won't do it again!”

You couldn't do anything but sigh. He ran his fingers through Doe’s kinky hair, scratching his scalp with his nails. “...It's fine,” He responded, sounding exhausted all over again. “You didn't know. I really need to give you a lesson on what hurts people…”

Doe preened at the affection, dirtying You's shirt further by wiping his black tears on it. You looked down at him and let a small smile go across his face, before flinching as another wave of pain hit him.

“I think I should shower and get this taken care of,” You commented, peeling Doe away from himself and getting out of bed. “Don't do anything dumb while I'm in there.”

“Can I come?” Doe jumped up out of bed as well, standing so closely behind You that he was breathing down his neck.

“Showers include water. And I have a pretty good feeling you probably don't like that stuff.” 

Doe’s face twisted into an ugly grimace. “...No, I don't…”

“Yeah, I figured. I'll be back.” You gathered some clothes from his chest of drawers, before leaving the room and closing the bedroom door behind him.

Doe stood in the dark room for a moment, but quickly ran after You. He stood in front of the bathroom door, about to open it, when he heard the sound of running water. He jumped back like a cat seeing a cucumber, with all his hair standing on end. He sped off to get away from the sound, going right back to You's bedroom. He sat up on top of his bed, resting his hands on his face and pouting. He already was missing You badly, but he was way too scared to go be with him right now.

He grabbed You's pillow, putting it in his face and taking a deep smell of it. But that wasn't good enough, it wasn't strong enough for him. He threw it in the ground, got up, and started hunting through You's laundry. He grabbed an old pair of his boxers, bringing those up to his face to smell instead.

“You…” He sighed, taking in huge breaths of his scent. Though he was still missing him so much it hurt, this was enough to tie him over for just a bit.

Thankfully for Doe, You was quick about his showers. He returned to his bedroom soon enough, with a towel wrapped around his waist. He paused and stood in the doorway, processing what on earth Doe was doing.

“...Are you smelling my boxers?”

Doe completely ignored the question, tackling You in a hug that almost made him fall over. “I missed you so much! I thought you'd never come back! Let me kiss you!”

“Sure, why not. Just don't touch my hair, it's wet.”

That made Doe hesitate for a minute, but he quickly went back to his original plan. He kissed him all over his face and neck, still keeping him in a death grip.

“I hate when you leave me,” He mumbled into his neck. “And you don't have that good smell anymore…”

“You mean blood? Yeah, I'm not letting a bunch of crusted blood stay on me, that's nasty. Sorry to burst your bubble, or whatever.”

“Awww…” He sighed in defeat. “At least you're here! I always want to be able to see you. What if you never come back?? I need you in my sight!”

“You're worrying yourself like crazy,” You put a hand on his shoulder to try and comfort him. He sighed, biting his lip and staying quiet for a moment. “I… I like you, I wouldn't just leave like that. You'd probably chase me down, anyway…” He laughed a tad.

Doe grabbed You's shoulders, holding them tightly. He had those big, blown-out pupils for the umpteenth time, and his smile actually disappeared for a moment, getting replaced with an oddly serious expression for someone like him.

“You like me?”

You nodded slowly. “Uh, yeah, I think I do.”

“HE LIKES ME!” Doe shouted, squeezing him into a hug so tight, it could definitely cut off circulation. “Helikesmehelikesmehelikesme…” Is what he continued to chant as he rubbed up against him like a cat.

You was now quickly second-guessing his decision to say that. He was pretty sure it was true, but now he knew he would never get a lick of privacy again, for as long as he lived. Maybe this wasn't as good of an idea as he thought… 

At least it was nice to see Doe so happy, even if his torso was beginning to hurt from how he was squeezing him.

“Uhm- Can you let go?” You grunted. “I can't really breathe…”

“I love you, love, love, love, love, love…” Doe seemed to be in his own little world at the moment, completely unaware of anything You was saying.

You sighed and accepted his fate. He figured if he tried to get out of this, there would be a lot of screaming and/or whining involved, and he really didn't want that, especially with the fact he was still battling that stubborn headache. He patted Doe on the back as he continued to cuddle You like he was a teddy bear, as he was never really one who knew what to do for physical touch.

“You sure seem happy about that little quip,” You shook his head with a smirk on his face. He couldn't help but find the absurdity of this whole thing a bit humorous.

“I'm always happy with you!” He sang.

You nodded in acknowledgement of what he had said. “You know I don't really mind your company that much any more, but I'd still kind of like to sleep alone tonight. So do you think you could leave?”

Doe frowned. “Do you not want me around? Is this because I hurt you? Please! I'm sorry! I-”

You put a finger on his lips to shush him. “No, it isn't any of that, man. I'd just like to be alone with my own thoughts for a bit.”

“...Are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure, I'm very sure I don't hate you or anything like that. I mean, I literally just said that I like you.”

The cogs in Doe’s head were turning. If he stayed, he'd get to be with his darling more. But he might get annoyed at him… But if he went, he wouldn't be able to keep an eye…

…

Eye! That was it! Even though it definitely wouldn't be the same as being with You for real, this would definitely do the trick.

“Well, okay… I'll go…” Doe reluctantly pulled away from You, leaving the bedroom.

Before he left the home entirely, he grabbed a lock of his hair and ripped it out, fighting back a scream of inhuman proportions. He tangled the hair up into a ball, and set it on top of You's fridge. This way, he'd be able to spy on him from afar! 

Pleased with his own ingenuity, Doe left the home with that wide smile he always had plastered on his face.

Chapter Text

With Doe gone, You sighed, taking in the silence of his empty home. He tossed his towel on the floor and switched into some clean boxers, before heading into the kitchen to get himself a cup of water. He didn't have a clue what time it was, but looking out the window, he could at least tell it was night. Good thing he didn't have work tomorrow, as he had definitely fucked up his sleep for the night. He sat down at the kitchen table, periodically taking sips from his cup while he pondered things. 

“Well, I guess there are worse people who could decide to attach themselves to your hip.” He voiced his thoughts out loud, since he was finally, truly alone. “He's not that bad. Maybe he'll calm down over time. And at least I know someone in this town now… Even if he's batshit insane.”

The ball of hair Doe had perched on the fridge earlier perked up as You spoke, its single eyeball shooting open and staring at him. It (or really, Doe,) listened intently, leaning forward a little as You continued talking to himself.

“He's sort of nice-looking, too. In a weird, trash-goblin sort of way.” You decided it was just better to admit that, it wasn't like anyone was around to hear him mentioning something so embarrassing anyway. “Though he could do with some cologne and a hairbrush.”

Doe made mental notes of everything You said, trying not to scream in his house about the fact he had really just said he was good-looking. He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. He shuffled through the heap of garbage he was sitting on, pulling out an old hairbrush from somewhere within the pile. He couldn't help but howl in agony as he ran it through his hair, as it was really more like sensitive nerves or feelers attached to his head. But if You wanted his hair brushed, he would be getting just that. 

“...And maybe he could change his clothes, I think he's been wearing the same ones the whole time I've known him.”

Another note tucked away in his head. His “clothes” sucked back into himself, and a new set formed on his body. A loose black sweater and equally loose jeans seemed good enough. The way You had been talking about him, Doe started to get a hunch that he would rather Doe be as normal as possible. While the thought kind of hurt him, he knew You's approval was the most important thing for him.

He ripped out his old teeth and hunted for new, cleaner ones to put in. He tried to start blinking at a normal pace, though the whole thing was completely voluntary. He grew another finger on each hand, made his scars disappear, tried to fix his smile, and made his eyes smaller, among many other things.

Looking at himself in his dirty, cracked bathroom mirror, he couldn't help but frown a little. He looked exactly like he had been earlier, when he was trying to fit in. He should've been happy he was still able to replicate it so well, but something about it just made him a little depressed. The whole facade was still very tough to hold together, but once again, if You wanted it, he'd do it. He grabbed a bottle of perfume off of his bathroom counter, absolutely drowning himself in it as the final touch. The skin on his neck melted away after being pelted with so much liquid, so he had to pat it back into shape like wet clay.

“Now he'll like everything about me! I'm perfect!” He said to himself in a happy voice, though it seemed more like he was trying to convince himself of his “perfection”.

He tried to practice his “normal speak”, as he called it, waving to the mirror in an awkward fashion. “Hi, I'm John Doe! I'm… adult years old, and I have a job!”

He kept staring at himself, eventually sighing. Something seemed wrong. He hooked a finger behind his eyelid, pulling it up to look at what was underneath it. It was just more hair, squirming around under his skin. Looking at it saddened him, for a reason he couldn't really place. He let go of his eyelid, letting it snap back into place. He'd just have to hope this was good enough for him. At least better than his last attempt to fit in…

___

You woke up later than usual, with no responsibility to go anywhere today. He stayed in bed for a while, curled up under his blankets while scrolling mindlessly on his phone. He did eventually get up, if only because he was frankly starving. He took the time to actually make himself a good breakfast, standing in front of the oven as he fried an egg for himself.

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door. You put the egg on a different stove eye so it wouldn't burn, before walking over to open the door. He wasn't sure of who it was, as he didn't really know many people in the valley. And the person he did know would never knock.

“Hello?” He answered without looking up, but when he did, he paused for a moment in surprise. “...Doe?”

Doe, who looked oddly normal, clasped his hands together below his waist. “Hi, You! Nice day today, huh?”

You made a face of pure confusion at him. “...I guess it is. Why are you like that?”

“Like what?”

“Not… you. You look uncanny, no pun intended.”

“You don't like it?” He looked down at the floor, as You had learned he liked to do when he was sad or anything like that.

“I mean, it's nice, but, you know, it's just not… right.” You sighed. “Just come in, do you want something to eat?”

You walked back to the stovetop to work on his egg, while Doe passed by the fridge to grab his hairball and push it back into the rest of his hair. He stood next to You, watching him cook his egg like it was the most interesting thing a person could possibly do. It was all he seemed to be focusing on, really.

“Well, you never answered me, so I guess you're not hungry?” You commented, not taking his eyes off his food.

Doe shook his head. “I'm okay.”

After that, it got quiet. You put his egg on some toast, going to his kitchen table to eat his little breakfast. Doe sat down across from him, resting his head in his hands while he looked at his plate. He had a particularly dull look on his face, and his eyes looked sort of milky, like he was halfway out of it.

“Are you alright?” You asked through a mouthful of egg and bread. “Something on your mind? Usually you're yapping your fool head off to me. Or just staring at me.”

“I just don't have anything to say,” Doe replied, blinking slowly, like a frog.

“I know that's not true. Why are you being weird? Well, you're always weird, but this is bad weird.”

“...I mean, I know you probably like me, but I figured you'd like me even more like this.”

“Like what?”

“I dunno… More regular? Don't get mad at me, but I spied on you while you were talking to yourself last night… I just figured, with the way you were talking…” He scratched behind his neck nervously.

“I didn't say anything about thinking I wanted you to change so drastically, you need to stop having so much self-doubt. Yeah, maybe I said something offhand, but you don't need to take it so personally. You have a heart way bigger than your head…”

“What do you mean?”

“It's nothing. But you should know I definitely don't like you as much when you're being something you're not. It's endearing, how offbeat you are. I've grown to kind of like it.” You shrugged, not wanting to make a huge deal of what he had just said.

“You mean it?” Doe climbed up onto the table, grabbing You's face in his now four-fingered hands. He was quickly reverting back to his old self, seemingly out of his control.

“Of course I do, this is what I'm talking about. Don't doubt things so much.” You actually didn't try to fight his grip at all, instead sinking into it a little. “You've grown on me, Doe.”

He grinned, squishing You's cheeks together and cooing. “I've grown on you!!” He repeated, as if the words were a badge of honor.

You tried to lean in to give him a kiss, but Doe pulled away and jumped off the table, clasping his hands under his chin and sighing dramatically. “This is all so romantic! You know what would be even better?!”

You turned to look at him, smirking. It was fun to humor him. “I don't know, what?”

“I should bring you back to my house!” He grabbed You's hand, pulling him out of his chair with ease, as if You was a stuffed animal.

You stumbled, grabbing onto Doe’s arm to keep from falling like a fool. “Oh, sure, I guess. I've got nothing better to do today.”

“Yay! I'll take you now!” Without any warning, Doe ran out of the house while dragging You behind him. Despite You's protests, there was no stopping him.

He ran up the concrete steps of his house so quickly, You could barely get a look at the outside before he was dragged in. From what he could see, though, the grass was dead and brown, and there were piles of garbage everywhere. The inside was worse, really, as You got punched in the face with such a strong odor, he could've keeled over right there. The place was dark, dimly lit by a single flickering light bulb attached to the stained popcorn ceiling. The whole place smelled like rotten blood and decaying food, which made sense, with the piles of junk everywhere. The floor had been completely swallowed up by trash, and some of the piles grazed the ceiling.

“Oh… It's… great, Doe.” You pinched his nose, giving his voice a nasally tone.

“I'll show you my room!” Doe chirped, dragging You down the dark hallway, with the garbage crunching underneath their feet. 

He came to a stained and water damaged door that he had to force open with all his strength. He could barely get it open enough to squeeze through, and he had to help You get pulled in. The junk in this room had completely taken over, with the floor being buried under at least a whole extra inch of trash, compared to the rest of the house. You could barely see the walls, but the parts you could see were stained yellow, like a smoker had lived here in years past. There was one area carved out to put a bloody mattress on, but the floor was still nowhere to be seen.

Doe let go of You, sitting on the nasty thing without any qualms. It groaned under him, and the trash crunched underneath the mattress. “This is my bed, come sit with me!” He happily patted a spot next to him that had a yellow stain of mysterious origin on it.

You bit his bottom lip, trying to take everything in. “Well, alright…”

He hesitantly sat next to him, trying not to think about the millions of diseases that could have been woven into the fibers of the ratty thing. Doe dragged You into his lap the moment he sat down, holding him in such a way that You's face was flush against his chest.

“I'm gonna love you forever…” He crooned. “You'll love me forever too, right?”

You did not like to talk in such a finite way. He had barely known this guy for a couple days, and he was definitely still getting used to the way he acted. But he did want to see him happy, which wasn't something he usually felt for someone who was still a virtual stranger. So, he nodded in agreement, actually taking in a deep breath of his scent, since he was so close to him. He had grown to somewhat like the musky odor that followed him wherever he went.

“Yeah, I will. Though, I think I need to teach you a thing or two about self-doubt.”

“I'm sorry, I just like making sure…” 

“And you shouldn't apologize so much, I swear there isn't much you could do to turn me away at this point.” You peeled his face away from Doe’s chest, gently grabbing his face and bringing it down to his level.

“I think you've properly twisted my mind, John. I think you're perfect.”

He leaned in, placing a long kiss on his chapped lips; one that was quickly reciprocated.