Archive of Our Own ^beta

Remus would have liked to say that peter had always been separated from the others. Maybe it would have been easier to digest, or made coping easier. It would have been nice to think that peter had never truly been their friend, that he was just following them around.

But he knew very well, that wasn't the case: Peter was dear to all of them, the same way each was. He could remember clearly as yesterday, sneaking out to the Black Lake, or going to the forbidden forest together. He remembered when the other three surprised him with their animagus forms to help him when the full moon came. It was clear in his memories how much he had appreciated that. 

He remembered exploring with each of their forms: handing Sirius dog food as a joke, which he didn't question when he found a black dog eating the treats as his tail wagged, accompanying James as he forages fruits instinctively in the forbidden forest, bringing cheese from the kitchen while under the invisibility cape for Peter's midnight craving. He was one of them. Why did he betray them?

Why did they make peter the secret keeper? because they had trusted him, of course. And that trust had costed them Lily and James life. Remus looks down at his hands, his still delicate, yet scarred hands of the countless nights of transformation. He remembered Peter being a bit sad the night previous to it. He never paid much attention to it, everyone was distraught. He should've, god, he should've.

Maybe that way they would be alive.

He was snapped out of his thoughts as Harry came in. He looked up from his half packed things. "Ah Harry, what can I help you with?" he asked, giving him a tired smile. He would take care of him: for his friends. For himself, even if James, Lily and Harry didn't get to watch him grow, he would. He would make sure of it, he wasn't the best suited to be a parent (he knew that better than anyone,) but he would try. For Harry.