Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Seladorin of Osphranter.

A land of rich culture, prosperous harvest, and home to generations of powerful magic wielders.

The weather in these lands was fair for most of the year, and brutal during the rest.

Outside, the birds were singing. The sun was shining. A gentle breeze was in the air.

It was a picture-perfect definition of a good day, and everyone was having a splendid time enjoying it.

Well, mostly everyone.

In the largest Kingdom of the Seladorin of Osphranter where the descendants of one of the First Five Royals resided, many were enjoying the good weather of the day. People were bustling about. Merchants were selling their wares. Children were playing merrily.

And the Royal Jester was sitting alone in his room at the royal place, glaring at a piece of paper that sat innocently on his desk.

On a normal day, a piece of paper before the Royal Jester would be full of half-written jokes or gags in progress. A good joke needed time and process to make someone laugh. But this paper just so happened not to be filled with jokes.

No. In fact, this paper just so happened to be a rare and quite expensive piece of paper. At first glance, it looked like an ordinary piece of paper that was likely filled out or written by a doctor.

However, if one took a closer look at the bottom right corner of the paper, they would see the Medical Seal of Healing stamped there. Any person educated in their studies would know right away that this paper was a magic item. Though not rare or highly sought after, this particular paper was a useful tool in the medical field and was often used by doctors during medical examinations.

This paper, which is appropriately called Blood Paper, was enchanted to detect, calculate, and evaluate the health of a person. How it worked was simple. The person who uses Blood Paper needed only a small drop of blood. The blood is then placed in a small square located at the bottom of the paper. Normally, it would take a few hours or a full day for the Blood Paper to detect any abnormalities or defects.

But since Bittergiggle was the Royal Jester, he had the resources to buy the more expensive version of Blood Paper, which was faster and sometimes more accurate than its cheaper, more common used counterpart. It could also detect more and evaluate what the person whose blood was drawn should look out for if they wished to stay healthy and strong.

This Blood Paper, which had most of the same things a normal Blood Paper would detect, had a list of various afflictions, diseases, and other assortments of things that could be found in his blood if detected.

Most of the boxes that sat in front of the names of various diseases were white, the typical sign that said disease or affliction wasn’t detected.

However, while most would find comfort that they weren’t sick, there was one box that was colored red. It was located in the section where evaluations of the health could be found. Everything looked normal, except for the small note on sugar that was just off the recommended level, and the one box that was marked in red.

The same box Bittergiggle had hoped wouldn’t be marked.

The same box he wished and prayed would remain white, and that he was worrying over nothing.

The same box that crushed his expectations when the recommended hour passed and he found to his utter disappointment that, once again, it was marked red.

The same box that, indefinitely, revealed that he had undoubtedly a little passenger growing inside of him.

“… damn.” He had suspected as much.

He had hoped that he was only being paranoid. He didn’t actually suspect that he had life growing inside him.

It had been a small worry of his. Ever since that day. He had hoped, prayed, wished, and denied that the possibility could happen.

Yet the worry had lingered and persisted, even when he hadn’t been showing the signs. He didn’t truly believe that it could happen, even when he subconsciously tallied the days since that night that somehow morphed into counting down the days when a discreet test would be most accurate, just to clear his growing anxiety that he was worried over completely nothing.

After all, his kind didn’t conceive easily with anyone outside of their own kind. That rarely happened. Very, very rarely.

Though it seemed he was one of the lucky Serinsperins who could.

And it was AWFUL.

“DAMN!” Slamming his hands down on the table, Bittergiggle felt that the world was laughing at him. Normally, he would be desperate to hear someone laugh, but that desperation normally stemmed from his desire for his jokes to be appreciated. This, however, felt like a mocking laugh from the God of Creation themself, deciding that Bittergiggle’s life wasn’t chaotic enough and threw a kid into the mix.

Bittergiggle groaned, covering his face and hanging his head in defeat. This. Was undoubtedly. The WORST Thing. That could ever happen to him.

Five different Blood Papers, two common and three of the more expensive kind, and they all had the same marked box on each of them.

Pregnant. He was undoubtedly pregnant.

Bittergiggle wanted to scream. He wanted to yell, and shout, and hurl, and throw stuff around and break things out of distress and fear. He wanted to curl up into a tight ball and cry his eyes out till all the liquid in his body was gone. He wanted to hunt down the father who put this kid in him and slap them till their face came off. He wanted to run as far away as he could and leave everything he had behind, too ashamed to admit his fault in this dilemma and pretend that this was all just a dream, and he would be waking up to see he was worried over nothing.

He wanted someone to hug him and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

Bittergiggle sighed, covering one hand over his mouth while his other hand traveled down to his abdomen. It was still flat, barely any change at all. No one would be able to tell that there was a little baby inside him.

Not for a few more weeks at least. It would be a while before he would begin showing.

And what would happen then?

What was he going to do?

Having a kid hadn’t crossed his mind before. The thought of making a family of his own had never really appealed to him. He was quite content with the family he had now, even if they weren’t blood-related to him.

Not to mention his real blood family was… a mess.

The last letter he got from his brothers didn’t quite give him hope that things were going alright for them. And he wasn’t too keen on seeing them at the upcoming festival.

He already had enough on his plate being the court jester. And his other job.

This kid was throwing a wrench at everything, and they weren’t even born yet!

“What am I gonna do?” He gazed down at his flat stomach. “What am I supposed to do?”

Bittergiggle didn’t know the first thing about childcare. In fact, he knew next to nothing about it. Serinsperins were rumored to be loving and caring towards their offspring, but Bittergiggle couldn’t remember if it was true.

His parents had died when he was young and had been taken in by the royal family out of mercy from the late king. He knew very little about his own kind, and rarely ever met one who was willing to talk to him.

How was he supposed to care for a kid? Was he qualified for a kid? Could he raise a kid?

No. Definitely not.

If there was one thing Bittergiggle was certain of, it was that he would be a mess of a terrible parent to this kid. Not to mention how demanding his job was, he really wouldn’t have any time to raise a kid properly.

Plus, there was the matter of… him.

Oh God. What was he going to tell him?

Was he supposed to go up to him and say ‘Hey, remember that one night? The night we both got suuuuuper drunk and ended up in bed together? How it was reeeeally awkward for us to even look at each other for a while because we both said some things at the time that may or may not have been true or honest? Remember how I told you that it wasn’t likely that a kid would be inside me after that incident? Whelp! I was wrong! Congrats! You’re gonna be a dad! See ya later!’

Yeah, that wasn’t going to go over smoothly.

If anything, he’d probably give the guy a heart attack with the news.

After what happened that night, Bittergiggle didn’t even want to see the guy ever again. But that was difficult due to the fact that they literally worked at the same place. And the fact that he didn’t actually want to never see him ever again.

If anything, he wanted them to be here right now, trying to help him see the positive side of things. Help him calm down and think of some ideas that could and would work.

He wanted so badly to imagine that they would be ecstatic over the news, overjoyed with the thought that he was going to be a father, thanking Bittergiggle over and over again for the miracle he’d bring into the world. He wanted to believe that they would be over the moon with the news, crying tears of joy while hugging him non-stop… but that wasn’t likely going to happen.

As much as he wanted to be optimistic about this, Bittergiggle knew he had to face reality sooner rather than later. Knowing how they think, they’d probably be shocked and horrified that he placed a kid inside Bittergiggle. They probably wouldn’t think twice that he was joking, or that someone else was the father. There was also the likely outcome that they would be FURIOUS over the news.

He wanted to believe that they were normally good-tempered, but he knew that anything could set him off if someone rubbed him the wrong way. Bittergiggle still remembered how rocky and spiteful their interactions were when they first met, and he still had the scars on his chest.

A wave of sickening panic washed over him, his arms wrapping around his abdomen in almost a protective hug.

Oh God. What if they became ANGRY? What if they found the news displeasing after he’d assured them that a child was likely never to happen and found out it was a lie?

What if they became so angry, they’d become MURDEROUS towards him?

Bittergiggle shook his head, trying to dispel the awful thought. Yes, they had a temper, but Bittergiggle was sure they wouldn’t want to murder him… maybe… probably… hopefully…

A whine pushed through his lips as Bittergiggle hung his head.

There was too much to think about. And he wasn’t sure if his mind was capable enough to handle it all at the moment.

“I need to talk to someone.” He decided. “I need a second opinion on this.”

But who? Who could he turn to? There wasn’t a lot of options for Bittergiggle to choose from. Most people he knew weren’t parents or expecting a kid any time soon. Those he did know who were parents wouldn’t actually be helpful since one of them was the queen herself, and he didn’t want to bother her (A.K.A. have her become ecstatic over the idea of a tiny jester running around and make a big deal out of it), and the other just so happened to be the queen’s favorite advisor (A.K.A. the father of the queen’s children).

No, what he needed was an outside source. Someone who he could trust not to tell his secret, and tell him what he should do next.

A doctor? Hmm. That would likely work. He could make them swear not to tell while they gave him advice on what to do.

But there was a problem. He was the COURT JESTER. If anyone caught sight of him going to a physician, news and rumors would definitely spread and reach the queen’s ears. And the father’s.

Or worse.

HIM.

Bittergiggle shuddered at the thought before breathing out a sigh. It was fine. He was fine. No one knew his secret yet, he was safe! He just needed to get to a doctor without anyone noticing and BOOM! Perfect plan!

He just had to act like nothing was wrong and pretend that he was fine. Baby or not, he had to keep up appearances for the time being till he had a solid plan.

First order of business. Acting. Crumpling up the Blood Paper, Bittergiggle tossed it into a waste bin. Pretend that everything is fine. Appear like you’re your normal self and NOT expecting. No one can know that you have a tiny passenger inside you. Not even… him.

Second order. Find a doctor. He began pacing the room, feeling some comfort as a plan formed inside his mind. A good doctor with the best skills would be the best option. But it would also be beneficial if the doctor kept their mouth shut about this matter until either I A) manage to get the courage to tell someone else or B) run away to a new Seladorin and never look back, while leaving behind everything I knew and loved.

Would running away be an option? The Kingdom was the only home he ever knew. He’d grown up here ever since he was a little kid. He’d never been to any other Seladorin, and he wasn’t sure if anyone would be tolerant of him for being a Serinsperin. And there was no telling if the queen would send out search parties for him, or, worse yet, if they went looking for him.

That wouldn’t be fun.

Let's just make running away a last resort situation. I should only focus on acting normal now and finding the best doctor to go to.

He stopped for a moment, looking down at himself. His abdomen was flat as ever, and there was no outward appearance that life was growing inside him. Yet Bittergiggle couldn’t help but worry that someone might notice. He didn’t have any symptoms yet, so maybe he could pull this off until he started showing. He could still do his jesting work and keep his secret for a while longer.

He just had to make sure not to run into them, and he’d be all set! Easy peasy!

⚜

No it wasn’t.

It very, very, very much wasn’t.

Of course symptoms started showing just right after he found out about his little stowaway. And OF COURSE they just had to pop up the moment he entered the dining hall, and the smell of fresh-cooked food wafting from the room made his stomach suddenly twist in a way that made him feel queasy and running for the closest bathroom to hurl.

Morning sickness. Great.

He should have realized that he was at the point where he would be getting symptoms by now. And it had been more than five weeks since that night.

Wiping his mouth, Bittergiggle took a moment to think.

Okay, if he had morning sickness, did he have any other symptoms? He thought back, trying to recall anything out of the ordinary in those days that he might have missed. He’d seen the queen go through the symptoms throughout all of her pregnancies, so he knew the basics of what to look for in the early stages.

Let’s see. Well, he did feel a bit more tired than usual one morning and felt like he hadn’t slept for days despite getting enough rest. He perfectly recalled some cramping that he quickly dismissed due to stretching at the time. But those didn’t really scream out as baby bun in the oven to him. If anything, he would have chalked it up as being one of his off days if he hadn’t been worried overthinking that he really was expecting.

But now that he was certain, a lot of things he had overlooked in the past now made more sense to him.

Light cramping and tiredness I can deal with and hide easily. He thought, flushing the toilet. It’s the dreaded morning sickness I’ve got to be careful with. Morning sickness my ass. If it’s as bad as people say it is, I’m going to be running to the nearest waste bin trying to push my guts out through my mouth every hour! That’s bound to get everyone’s attention. Maybe I should skip lunch today…

He shook his head. No, that wouldn’t work. The queen would notice right away that he skipped not only lunch, but breakfast as well today, and question him why. And questions right now weren’t a good idea for the jester.

Not if he wanted the queen to find out his little secret.

So, skipping out on food wasn’t an option, buuut he couldn’t head to the dining hall. The smell would only make him nauseous and cause frequent trips to the bathroom.

“Guess I’m eating out today.” He mused. It had been a while since he left the castle, but it wasn’t uncommon for him to leave to get himself food. Sometimes he was hit with a craving for certain foods, and the dining hall wouldn’t have what he was looking for.

Plus, he was sure the queen was having an important meeting with her advisors today, so that just meant that he wouldn’t be needed till much later in the day.

Maybe he could use this as an opportunity to scout out a doctor.

With a renewed spring in his step with the thought, Bittergiggle bounded down the halls of the castle, excitement bubbling inside him as he slipped past the guards stationed at the front door, barely making a sound as he slipped past through the huge double doors, and gleefully skipped in the courtyard where knights and squires were doing their routine daily training.

Most didn’t bother to pay him any attention. They knew right away, with just one look at hi,m that he was the Court Jester. Anyone could guess that.

His appearance and mannerisms certainly did little to hide his important role. And many knew it was best to avoid him.

Not out of malice, though some would glare at him due to being a Serinsperin, but because he was close to the queen, and many knew how much she treated him like her own family, and was very protective of him.

Family.

Bittergiggle’s eyes darkened for a moment before quickly shaking the thought out of his mind, and immediately went over to a large, barn-like building that sat far in the courtyard close to the entrance. He was practically skipping like a little girl at this point, giving a friendly wave to the guard station at the doors, grinning with enthusiasm. “Hi~!” He greeted, coming to a stop before them. “I’m here to see my cute lil’ kitty~! Mind stepping aside and letting her out?”

The guard gave him a small glance. “Do you have permission from the queen?”

A groan nearly escaped his lips as Bittergiggle rolled his eyes. Permission? Ugggggh! Were they still on edge from last time? He warned people to keep catnip away from the barn, and look what happened! “I don’t need permission from the queen. This is my pet, and while I appreciate you and the rest of the guard taking time to dutifully watch over her home, I require her to get into town today.”

“May I inquire as to why you wish to go to town?”

He shrugged. “It’s noon. And I’m hungry. And there’s a little cafe in town that serves my favorite jelly-filled donuts. It’d be a crime not to indulge myself in a jelly-rific sweet treat.” He giggled at his own pun as the guard gave him a deadpan stare.

“I’m sorry. But only those with permission from the queen may pass.”

Bittergiggle frowned at them. “I just said I don’t need permission. It’s my pet we’re talking about here.”

“Even if that were the case, I still can not let you pass without permission.”

A glare deepened on Bittergiggle’s face. “And why not exactly?”

“I was given strict orders not to let anyone who hasn’t been permitted by the queen in to see the beast.”

“… beast?” A dangerous glint appeared in Bittergiggle’s eyes. “Did you just call my pet… my sweet little baby… my sweet angel girl. My shining star. My sprinkled-covered cupcake. My perfect pansy. My darling universe. My Masterpiece Muse. My Brilliant Guiding Light From Darkness. MY TETHER IN A RISING STORM! MY INSPIRATION! MY WALKING DREAM! MY BIGGEST FAN AND FRIEND! THE MOST BEAUTIFUL! PERFECT! PURE! AND GLORIFIED BEING ANYONE COULD LAY THEIR UNWORTHY EYES ON WHO COULD DO NO WRONG A BEAST?! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLED MY BABY?! A BEAST?! DO YOUR EYES NOT WORK OR ARE YOU JUST STUPID?! HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN MY PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL?! MY BABY IS FAR FROM BEING JUST A BEAST! FAR FAR FROM IT! UNLIKE YOU YOU MISERABLE LITTLE UNGRATEFUL–!”

“BITTERGIGGLE!”

Bittergiggle felt the back of his neck being grabbed by the scruff, being yanked away from the guard and held up off the ground. He blinked a few times, turning his head to glance over his shoulder. “Oh. Hi Dadadoo.”

“Jester.” The Head Advisor huffed. “I figured that it was you from all the screaming.”

“Screaming? What screaming? I wasn’t screaming.” Bittergiggle said, feigning innocence. “I was just telling this pompous whelp of a guard that my kitty isn’t some beast.” He shot a nasty glare at the guard, who was trembling on the ground and staring back at him in horror. He looked back at the Head Advisor with a small pout. “Honestly. The guards must be skipping out on their lessons if they all keep calling my beautiful baby such horrible names.”

Dadadoo let out a sigh, setting Bittergiggle down on his feet. “Yes. That’s the only problem that seems to keep arising with every new guard that gets posted to watch your pet each passing week.”

“Exactly! You clearly get it!”

“What are you even doing out here, Bittergiggle? You normally aren’t out here harassing the guards till evening.”

“Well, it is lunch right now, and there’s a certain cafe I’ve been meaning to drop by a certain favorite cafe of mine for a while. And since it’s such a lovely day out today, I figured why not?”

“It is a decent day out today. Though a little too bright for my taste.” Dadadoo hummed, turning his head a bit towards the sky. He quickly looked back at Bittergiggle. “Would you care if I join you?”

“Join me?”

“It’s as you said. It’s a nice day out, and I could use a small break away from my duties for today.”

Bittergiggle narrowed his eyes slightly. Something didn’t feel quite right. He’d eaten out with Dadadoo before, but usually, it was Bittergiggle who offered when he noticed the leach was drowning in his work and could use a break.

“And we could use it as an excuse to talk and catch up with one another. Without anyone else butting in, of course.”

Ahh. There it was. The good old ‘I want to talk to you about something, and you better say yes or this will only drag out and be worse for you later down the line’ subtle hint. There was clearly something the Head Advisor wanted to talk to him about.

But not in the company of others.

“… mmmm. I don’t know.” Bittergiggle rubbed his chin. “I guess I wouldn’t mind… as long as you’re paying for the meal.” He added with a cheeky grin.

“Considering how you never keep any of your allowance on hand when you go out? I was already planning to do so.”

“… is that jab at me?” Bittergiggle questioned as Dadadoo signaled the guard to leave.

“Not a jab. Just a clear fact about you.” Dadadoo grinned, flashing his large fangs and reaching into his vest. “You need to learn to keep some coins on you when you go out into town, my boy. Otherwise, you might resort to stealing to pay for your meals.” He searched his pockets, his grin fading away into a frown. He patted his vest, feeling around his pockets. “Where is… I swore I had it in one of them.”

“And you, sir,” Bittergiggle spoke up, catching Dadadoo’s attention as he held up a key in his hand. “Need to be careful of what you put in your pockets. Anyone with sticky fingers would take any chance to rob you blind if you’re not careful.” Dadadoo chuckled as the jester giggled and dropped the key into his hand, shaking his head in mirth.

“A true fact, my friend. And you’re lucky I’m so nice. Otherwise, you would have been thrown in the dungeon for that little trick.”

“As if you aren’t used to me swiping stuff off you all the time.” Bittergiggle retorted, sticking his tongue out playfully.

“True. Though I highly recommend you keep your butterfingers to yourself and not give the captain a good reason to lock you away for good this time.”

“He’d need to catch me first if that was the case.” Bittergiggle crossed his arms over his chest, looking away with a huff. “Not that he would be able to. I’m too slippery to be caught by the likes of him. There’s not a chance he’d be able to put me in a cage.”

“Oh really? Then how do you explain the one time you were caught in a live trap set up by the sheriff?”

“THAT WAS YEARS AGO!” Bittergiggle exploded, his face covered in a cyan-colored blush of embarrassment. “How Was I Supposed To Know?! It Looked Nothing Like A Trap! And The Sheriff Was Playing Dirty Using My One Weakness As Bait!”

“Who knew the simplest way to trap the jester was using fudgy brownies as bait?” Dadadoo snickered, earning a heated glare from Bittergiggle as he unlocked the door.

“It was cookie brownies. A perfect combination of chocolate chip cookies and brownies! How am I NOT supposed to get baited in with a glorious treat like that?!”

“By ignoring it.”

“… I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you say that.”

⚜

The plate before him sat untouched.

So did most of the contents on the other plate beside it.

It had been a few minutes since his order arrived, and, usually, his meals would have been reduced to nothing but crumbs right about now.

Instead, the spaghetti sat untouched, cooling along with the meatballs and sauce. The small bowl of fruit was still full, and the garlic bread had cooled enough that it was starting to harden.

He ordered this. He ordered this. He wanted something simple along with a few healthy bits. He knew that he clearly wanted this, and the sides included.

And yet, now that it was sitting before him, he DIDN’T want it.

“Are you feeling alright?” Dadadoo asked. “You haven’t touched your food since it arrived.”

“… I… guess I’m just not as hungry as I thought I was.” The jester stared down at his food. He should eat it. He should eat it. Dadadoo was looking at him and would think something was up if he didn’t eat at least a few bites.

Could he handle a few bites? If morning sickness was already hitting him, could he keep what he ingested inside long enough to appear normal?

Come on, Bitter. He’s staring at you. He’ll know something’s up if you don’t start putting something in your mouth soon. Just a forkful. That should be enough to dissuade his worries.

“Does it have something to do with him?” The question made Bittergiggle pause just as he was about to fork some spaghetti into his mouth, looking up at the leach in surprise.

“Him?” Bittergiggle echoed.

“Toadster.” Dadadoo calcified, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “You haven’t been acting the same since he left. Are you missing him by any chance?”

A sharp inhale of breath passed Bittergiggle’s lips, trying to keep his hold on the fork.

Of all the things the Head Advisor could ask him, he had to get straight to talking about the one person he didn’t want to think about.

Toadster.

Sheriff Toadster Law.

The name sent shivers down his spine.

Everyone knew who he was. It was hard not to. He was the sheriff of the kingdom and the queen’s best protector. No one who broke the law or did nefarious deeds could get past him. Ever since he came here, it was as if crime could sense that he was there to stop it and fled in fear to get away from him.

Sure, there was still the occasional petty crime of shoplifting, scamming, and even small robbery here and there, but at most, days were rather peaceful and calm.

Toadster was like a hopeful beacon in a dark ocean. People looked up to him and idolized his drive and honor. Plenty would be willing to follow in his footsteps if they could, and he was the clear definition of keeping the law and peace.

And he just so happened to be the one responsible for putting a kid inside him.

“… I guess.” Bittergiggle cast his gaze downward, stabbing his fork into the sauce-covered noodles. “I do miss him a little.”

Little was an understatement. If he was being honest, he missed the sheriff every day. Life just seemed a bit duller and gray without him. He liked having the sheriff around. That toad was full of surprises, even before and after they started dating in secret.

Bittergiggle had been firm about keeping their relationship strictly on a professional basis when they were out in public, and to not let anyone outside of close family and friends know. “I guess I hadn’t realized how much I’d miss him.”

Dadadoo gave a soft sigh, folding his napkin neatly. “Don’t I know that feeling all too well. But don’t try to lose hope. Time can fly by quickly, and he’ll be back before you even know it.”

Bittergiggle didn’t want to point out a small flaw in that sentence. Namely, how ‘time can fly by quickly’ didn’t understand that waiting twelve long weeks was going to be agonizing for the world’s most impatient Serinsperin.

Twelve weeks. Toadster hadn’t been that long away from the kingdom for quite some time.

He didn’t give Bittergiggle much details as to why before he left, only stating that it was important and he would be back before summer’s end.

Summer’s end.

Bittergiggle’s stomach dropped. He’d be showing around summer’s end.

If Toadster saw him with a rounded middle… he didn’t want to think about it. He just wanted to focus on the now instead of later. “Well, as long as I can stay busy to keep my mind off it, I guess I won’t notice the time passing by.”

“Speaking of being busy.” Dadadoo began, reaching into his vest and fishing out a red envelope. “Your… brothers are coming.”

Bittergiggle nearly gagged on his spaghetti. “ What?! ” His scream echoed in the open air. If he’d been calmer, he would’ve tried to keep his voice down to not attract attention, but the jester didn’t care as he snatched the envelope out from Dadadoo’s open grasp and tore it open. “They can’t be serious!”

“Unfortunately, they are.” The Head Advisor let out a small sigh as Bittergiggle read the contents of the letter. “Apparently, they caught wind of the festival Duke Feuer plans to throw in a month’s time, and are already making their way here.”

“Noo.” Bittergiggle moaned, already imagining the disaster his brothers would bring with them. “No, no, no, nooo!”

He wanted to tear his hair out. To throw a tantrum and rush to the queen and warn her. Beg for her to double the guard, tighten security at the gates, hide ANY AND ALL explosive material there was, and for the love of the God of Ultimate Creation, have everyone guard their most valuable things before his brothers got here!

“This can’t be happening!” The jester dug his fingers into the paper, reading the scrawled messy handwriting that only his brothers could achieve. “How?! How did they even know about the festival?! News of it shouldn’t have gotten far from the kingdom! Not even past the borders of the Seladorin!”

“I don’t really have an answer for that, my friend. But think of it as a good thing! At least you’ll have something to keep you busy now!”

The jester let out a groan, slamming his head down on the table.

Right on his plate of spaghetti.

… huh. It actually tasted good.

Chapter Text

There was a certain number of people Bittergiggle didn’t like.

Most of them were those who disliked him for various reasons. Some were more personal. And some were just downright racist.

He knew how to deal with most of them. It was easy to ignore most glares and small backhand comments on a good day, and on bad days he’d take time off to mentally heal with a big box of donuts of varying sorts while crying under the covers of his bed. Most of the time, he left those people alone, yet he wouldn’t deny that he had gotten back at a few with his tricks.

And then there was a certain group of eight who made him want to strangle them till they croaked and hold them close so they never left.

That certain group that just oh-so happened to be his siblings.

His dear, sweet, stupid, dumb, chaos-inducing eight younger siblings.

There was never anyone he wanted to slap so much and laugh along with more than his younger siblings.

And they were coming here.

TO THE KINGDOM.

FOUR MONTHS EARLIER THAN EXPECTED.

A groan stifled from Bittergiggle’s mouth, covering his head with a pillow. Was he happy to hear that his siblings were coming? NO! Of course not!

Every time they showed up, disaster happened! He was highly aware of the damage and chaos his eight younger siblings brought. Half of the kingdom hasn’t even gotten a quarter of their last visit fixed yet! He didn’t even want to know what new mess they would bring at their arrival.

The jester peeked an eye out, looking over at the red envelope sitting innocently on his nightstand. It was slightly crumpled, with a few spots of tomato sauce staining the paper. A part of him wanted to throw it out or at least burn it, but Bittergiggle couldn’t really find it in himself to do so.

Yes, his brothers were all a pain, but they were still his family. He wouldn’t trade them for the world, even if he sometimes thought he would regret it.

His brothers didn’t write often, so it was a habit of Bittergiggle’s to hang on to each note and letter they did manage to send, a little grateful that they at least had some forcite to announce when they’d be arriving instead of just popping in without warning. Each letter they sent gave the jester mixed feelings.

Relief.

Fear.

Dread.

Joy.

Hope.

Anticipation.

Loneliness.

The last one always made him feel the worst.

He didn’t blame them. They were young and scared. Rational thinking wasn’t capable back then, so he really couldn’t put much blame on them for it.

It still hurt though.

Reaching over, he plucked the note off the nightstand and read the messy, scrawled writing on the paper.

GRETINGS! Salutations! Bonjour! Hello!

It is US! The REMARKABL! STUPENDIS! GRAND AND GLOROUS TRAVLING JESTER BROTHRS!

It has ben some time since our last leter, and we are writing to let u know that we wil be arivng at the kingdom son to partake of the up and comng festival! How have we heard of such thng, u might ask? WE WIL NEVR TEL!

We plan to be staying four the festival and a little while into autmn, so we would apresiate it if we can have our usual rooms ready when we get their. Of corse we still plan to agree to the terms and pay during our stay. AND DONT WORRY! We promise not to set anything that’s two imporatnt on fire! Again.

We promise to b on best be-ha-vor. And good. And bring gifts to say sorry.

DO NOT BOTHER TO TRY DOBLING THE GURD! FOUR YOU HAVE ALREDY GUESED THAT IT IS FUTILLE TO STOP US! NEITHERTHELESS, WE SHAL BE KIND AND LET YOU KNOW THE EXACT MOMENT WE HAVE RECHED THE KINGDOM SO YOU WON’T HAVE TO BE IMPACIENT TO SEE OUT IMPECKABLE SPLENDEOR!

Please don’t take this as a threeat. We gust want to com and have fun. And see Bittergiggle. How is he by the way? Iz he doing alright? Iz he stil the cort jester?

If ou plan to give this letter to out brother, HI BROTHER! WE MISS OU! Cant wait two se ou again son!

Hangout. Fun. Play. Miss you.

WE EPECT NOTHNG BUT GODWILS FORM YOU, BROTHER! AND PERPARE TO HAVE THE TIM OF UR LIVE WHEN WE ARIVE! WERE GON TO MAKE SURE YOUR DAYS ARE FILED WITH EXCITMENT! THRILS! AND LAUGHTER BEYOMD ANYTHNG YOU COULD THINK A BOUT!

Oh, and to put some ease on u, only for of us r comng.

Half of as split to folow Bitterbite four new mney schem. Dont no how they dong, but hope they okay. So its only us that r comng!

Magi. Lyrist. Sit. And me.

WITH GRET APPRICATION!

Hopeful expctations.

Wishes and kises.

We see soon.

FORM THE EIT FOR TRAVLING JESTER BROTHERS.

P.S. Please no dungon. Want to b with brother. Mis him much. B good. Promis.

A small smile cracked on Bittergiggle’s face. The poor grammar somehow brightened his mood, even if it brought bad news of approaching danger. His brothers were idiotic, but a small part of him found their antics amusing. Even if his life was far from being dull, he still cherished the craziness his eight younger brothers created in their paths.

Well, four.

If he could read this jumbled letter right, only half of his younger siblings were coming to the kingdom. And he could only hope for the other half that Bitterbite wouldn’t land them all in jail again. Or worse.

His smile faltered, placing a hand over his abdomen. How would his siblings all react if they found out that they were going to be uncles? Would they be excited over the thought that they were getting a niece or nephew? Or would they be angry and disgusted? Pointing out how he tried to act righteous before them while doing despicable things behind everyone’s backs. Would they even be angry that the father wasn’t another Serinsperin?

Would they reject and cut all ties with him for good?

Bittergiggle wanted to curl up and hide from the world. This… this was all too much. He just wanted a second solid opinion that he could ground himself with. He wanted words of sweet encouragement. He wanted strong arms to hold and steady him with comfort.

He wanted to hear a southern accent whisper soothing things in his ear while webbed fingers patted his fur down softly.

A sigh passed through Bittergiggle’s lips, feeling anxiety eating away at his insides.

“Kid, I don’t know if you realize this, but you are causing me a lot of turmoil here.” His hand caressed his middle, his thoughts twisting back and forth in worry before exhaustion finally pulled him into a restless slumber.

⚜

There was an anxious feeling buzzing in the air inside the castle.

Dread, fear, irritation, and misery were mixed in, yet everyone tried to wear a mask of complete calm as they went about their business.

The blank looks and polite tones were easy enough to hide the growing worry, yet Bittergiggle could tell that plenty of people, who were quietly informed ahead in secret, were NOT happy with the news that his brothers were coming. They were trying to keep a facade of control while discreetly carrying out Her Majesty’s orders in preparation for their arrival without rousing worry and panic for the general public.

Oh, he knew how much trouble his brothers caused. He clearly remembered all the problems and damages they left behind, and how much he tried to keep them in order with little success.

Being the oldest, it naturally fell on him to keep his younger siblings in line. Serinsperins only listened to the eldest sibling among them, so people expected him to have complete control over all their antics and crazy schemes.

Only, his brothers didn’t listen to him.

In fact, nearly half of them didn’t even acknowledge him when he tried to reel them in from their antics. He didn’t know why people thought he would have complete control over them when it was pretty clear that they wouldn’t listen. It didn’t help that he was blamed for being unable to stop his siblings from doing anything bad, even when it was obvious that he wouldn’t be able to in the first place.

A wave of nausea rolled through Bittergiggle’s body, and it took him a moment to determine if it was from his nerves or morning sickness. It could be his nerves. It could be morning sickness. Or it could be both.

Either way, Bittergiggle still found it a good excuse to pop a peanut into his mouth. He’d seen the queen chewing on peanuts during her pregnancies when she was having trouble with morning sicknesses, and the jester thought it would be a good thing to try. After all, it wasn’t unusual for him to be seen snacking on something, so no one would be any wiser as to why he suddenly carried around a bag of peanuts on his belt.

Not even the queen questioned it much when he arrived at her summons for a private meeting.

Several people were in the room alongside him and the queen, all ranging in important roles from within the castle to the kingdom itself. A handful of trusted advisors stood around a table with the queen at the head. Bittergiggle was seated closest to her on one side, while Dadadoo was on her other side. Everyone was chattering, drawing up concerns and problems that could arise.

Normally, Bittergiggle wouldn’t bother attending meetings. They were too boring and bland, and no one really appreciated him being there since he never took anything too seriously if it wasn’t revolving around or in direct link to him. But since this meeting was about his brothers, Bittergiggle was forced to be here without choice.

“I say we lock them up the moment they set foot in the kingdom.” One advisor spoke up. “Knowing the trouble they can cause, it’s only fitting that they should be locked away before anything can be damaged.”

“You think too little. Locking them up won’t do any good.” Another advisor belittled the first. “Serinsperins are a slippery bunch. It can take more than five highly guarded cells to keep even one from escaping. It wouldn’t even matter since we don’t have jails that could hold one, let alone FOUR Serinsperins. I’d say we give them a proper message that they’re not welcome here. Let the guards or a knight give them a few scrapes and cuts, that will surely be enough for them to convey everyone’s feelings towards them.”

“But that also might send mixed messages to neighboring kingdoms and Seladorins. People will begin to suspect that we’re dropping our Serinsperin rights if such actions from the guard are left unpunished, and the more vocal nobles might take it as an opportunity to reignite old prejudice and undo years of progress.”

“Undo years of progress? For what, defending the kingdom from well-known threats?! You can’t possibly be putting your concern more on just a couple of Serinsperins over the good of the kingdom!”

“Surely, we all know the damage they can do. Even if we tried to keep the kingdom’s rights without too much trouble, letting them run loose would be trouble. I say we keep a few guards on them at all times, watching their every move and decision from the shadows and intervening when necessary. If they get too out of hand, we can kick them out of the kingdom and use their crimes to force them to leave if they try to protest.”

“Oh, they protest alright! It took ages to get them all the leave from their last visit! Though stubborn mules will be too hard-headed and close-minded to even see the damage they cause to our fair kingdom with their filth ruining it!”

Bittergiggle felt his eye twitch. Filth?

His eyes narrowed, turning his glare on the advisor who spoke. He knew this particular person well. It was Pythias, a sea otter Duke who had a bad reputation and even fouler mouth. He was old, with gray strands appearing in his dark fur and his cheeks having a saggy look to them.

Bittergiggle didn’t particularly like this guy. Mostly due to the fact that he wasn’t ashamed to voice his dislike against anyone. Especially towards Serinaperins.

“I’d say we let the guards rough them up. Give them a good taste of hospitality we have, and throw them out before they tarnish this good kingdom any further.”

“Are You Mad?!” One of the advisors slammed their hand down on the table. “This kingdom is about peace! Not senseless violence! If we use such harsh actions, people might think we’re going mad and reverting back to the old ways of the Mad King!”

“Well, it would certainly keep other Seladorians from believing that we wouldn’t have the backbone to defend ourselves! This kingdom is already a laughing stock for giving these creatures rights! Letting these pests go about freely will only tarnish the good image we’re trying to maintain!”

Bittergiggle’s blood boiled, crushing the nuts in his hands. He just about had it hearing all these insults being thrown at his brothers.

“That wouldn’t do us any good, Duke Pythias.” A deep voice cut through the chatter before Bittergiggle could say anything. “In fact, I believe that would only bring more harm to the kingdom.”

“Harm? It’s harmful to let those vermin in the first place!” Pythias turned his glare on Dadadoo. “The kingdom will be in ruins before the end of the year with monsters like them roaming about! They–!”

“Have you ever met a real monster, Pythias?” Dadadoo asked, cutting the old otter off.

“Pardon?”

“You keep comparing Serinsperins as beasts and vermin, monsters even. But have you ever actually met or even seen a real monster?”

“What’s that got to do with anything? Serinsperins are a fine definition of a monster!”

“Oh? Are they the first things you think about when you imagine what monsters are?”

“Obviously! After all, nothing good happens when a Serinsperin is involved.” The Duke’s eyes narrowed, his gaze shifting to the jester. Bittergiggle glared back.

“And what about the creatures of the Depths?”

A chill was felt in the room.

“… th… The Depths?” Pythias’ eyes widened. For a moment, his haughty demeanor cracked, just long enough for Bittergiggle to notice a flicker of fear in the old otter’s eyes. “W-Well, of course. Everyone knows that Serinsperins came from the Depths. It’s only natural to think of them as beasts and monsters like the creatures who spawn from there.”

Lies. Serinsperins didn’t come from the Depths, you idiot. Our origins come from the high mountains and thick forests in the east, far from the Depths which lie in the west. Even a preschooler should know this.

From the looks of the other advisors, they knew this fact too, and weren’t buying it. Even the queen was giving the Duke a disapproving look for the false statement.

“B-Be that as it may,” Pythias cleared his throat. “The Depths have nothing to do with this meeting. We are here to deal with a serious problem, and if we don’t come up with something, it might as well spell doom for the kingdom.”

“Spell? Oh! How about we try using a spell?” An advisor, who looked young and new, suddenly spoke up. “We could use an enchanted item to perhaps dampen their need for mischief or use it to persuade them to act normally during their visit.”

“That wouldn’t work.” Pythias shook his head. “Serinsperins are immune to magic. Be it artifacts or wielders, being around one Serinsperin will negate the power, no matter how skillful or powerful the spell may be.”

“Not to mention, it’s illegal. Alerting their personalities would be a moral and imperial crime.”

The young advisor ducked her head, blushing in shame. “O-Oh…”

It wasn’t long before everyone started filling the room with chatter. Some were angry, most were worried, and a few were whispering, trying to discreetly point at him.

Oh, of course. They were planning to throw him at his brothers. Using the old strategy myth that didn’t even work. Surrre. That was certain to go swell.

“Excuse me. Your Majesty? I might have an idea.” A voice suddenly spoke up, and all the chatter went silent.

Bittergiggle stiffened his back, directing his gaze to the end of the table.

Only one person sat at the end alone. A red, devil-like creature. He looked normal enough, he dressed fairly, and nothing about him screamed extraordinary and special.

But there was something about him. Something that made people feel… off. Or disturbed.

He didn’t look dangerous, and yet every part of Bittergiggle’s body screamed to be wary and cautious.

He was a Deviloid. And unlike Pythias’ claims about Serinsperins, Deviloids DID originate from the Depths.

This person who spoke up was Uthman ‘Banban’ Adam. Though most called him by his middle name, he insisted everyone call him by his first name. He didn’t know why he didn’t like to be called Banban, but Bittergiggle knew better than to ignore his instincts and never asked the red Deviloid.

“An idea? What would that be?” The queen inquired.

“Well, I was thinking,” Uthman started, politely putting his hands together. “Since we all know how destructive Bittergiggle’s siblings can be at times, why not use that to our advantage?”

Silence hung in the room.

“We all know of a rising issue that’s been rising in the south.” Uthman continued. “A group of bandits who’ve been calling themselves The Purgers have been causing minor issues and serious crimes. They've mainly been attacking small villages and towns, and reports have it that they’ve recently taken refuge along a main travel road and attacking anyone who goes along the path. While we have been able to drive them away, the road has become a main issue. Since the path cuts through a thick forest, these bandits have been using it to their advantage to ambush in different locations and disappear back into the forest before the knights can catch them. Normally, we wouldn’t have an issue of sending our best in to track them down, but the issue isn’t the tracking. It’s who lives in the forest that’s the issue.”

“Whooivils.” The new advisor spoke up.

“Exactly. The forest is both their home and, in their eyes, sacred ground. There had been multiple issues with them in the past due to a past incident involving King Hoppington the Fourth, and Whooivils haven’t forgotten the damage he had done to their land that resulted in a fifteen-year-long war that ended in a stalemate and forced treaty for the safe return of Hoppington’s only son. As such, while Whooivils didn’t like their home being used by bandits, they still despise the royal family more and have been refusing to let our guard in to capture these bandits. And the Purgers know this. As long as they don’t kill any of those they attack on the path, the Whooivils won’t do anything about them since it’s their custom to shelter those without a permanent residence, and they don’t go against their customs so easily.”

“And what exactly does this have to do with the approaching dilemma?” Pythias asked, appearing more frustrated as the meeting went on.

A lopsided smile appeared on Uthman’s face. Even though his smile seemed friendly and welcoming, it didn’t actually feel like he was really smiling, and he was putting on a mask. “Well, if Bittergiggle grants permission for this idea, how about we send these bandits a… negotiation?”

⚜

There were more guards than usual stationed around the castle today.

That was one of the ultimate signs that THEY were in the kingdom.

Even when he had a few days to prepare, Bittergiggle still felt nervous.

Not because of his brothers. Well, no, they were part of the cause. A big MAIN part of the cause.

But the other cause was his current situation.

A week had nearly passed since the meeting, and he still hadn’t acted on his plan to find a doctor.

He couldn’t. Not when so many eyes were watching him when word that his brothers were coming. Many knew that things were going to be hectic for a couple of days and were dreading them.

While some were actually secretly happy.

Deep down, Bittergiggle knew there were some who would take advantage of this situation. A majority of people didn’t like Serinsperins, and plenty of them loved using them as scapegoats or decoys to throw blame at. If a Serinsperin was framed for something, even for the pettest of crimes, they were locked up without trial while the real criminal got away scot-free. There had been plenty of times in his past when Bittergiggle had to keep an eye out in public to keep himself out of trouble.

Even being the queen’s jester didn’t fully shield him from wicked schemes. He was still a Serinsperin. And plenty of people would love to see him suffer.

Especially Pythias.

Crazy old coot had it out from him the moment he laid eyes on Bittergiggle. He was sure he never did anything to earn the old sea otter’s immense dislike, though he was sure at this point that Pythias just hated Serinsperins in general. He never spoke fondly of them. He always suggested more cruel and violent solutions in matters that revolved around Serinsperins. He didn’t even tolerate those who were only half Serinsperins, and acted like their mere presence disgusted him.

Bittergiggle’s hand moved subconsciously towards his abdomen before he quickly caught himself. He made his hand into a fist, hoping no one noticed his behavior. He did not want to give anything away that others could use against him.

Instead, he tried to appear calm and collected as he made his way to the throne room. The queen didn’t need him, but Bittergiggle figured he could have a moment to chat with her.

The guard stationed at the door gave him a side-eyed glance, but nothing more. At least that was a good sign. If they had stopped him, then he knew better than to try and enter.

“Your majesty?” He knocked on the door a few times before entering.

The throne room was massive. It, along with the rest of the castle, was large. Taller than five Bittergiggles stacked on top of each other. Even his beloved cat could walk around comfortably, if she was ever allowed back inside the castle that is. While most castles were large, imposing, and showed off the wealth and power royalty had to offer, every part of this castle had been built with the intention to accommodate the royal family’s towering height.

The queen, sitting on her throne at the end of the room, was massive. She stood taller than everyone, but she was smaller than his pet. In fact, if the late king was still alive, she’d be noticeably smaller than him. The late king had towered over everyone when he was still around, and most of the castle had to be rebuilt to accommodate his growing size. There was an old joke that went around saying that the royal family were once giants, and could stand over mountains if they lived beyond two hundred.

Bittergiggle never believed it. The old king kept reminding everyone that living to two hundred was nearly impossible, and pointed out that his great-grandfather was no bigger than him, even when he was over a hundred and eighty. And besides, Kangaroosins only live to be over a hundred and twenty anyway, a hundred and fifty if they were lucky, so there was no way for them to reach two hundred.

Still, the queen was tall, and even if she wasn’t standing, she still towered over everyone in the room.

“Ah, Bittergiggle.” She looked up from the paper in her hands, smiling fondly at him. “Just a moment, I need to finish looking over this first.”

“Take your time.” Bittergiggle waved a hand away, already knowing it wouldn’t be long.

He took the time to look around the room. Even when he had been here plenty of times in the past, he never got over how large the throne room was. It was well decorated to fit the queen’s taste. Purple flowers were placed on the rims of the pillars holding the ceiling up. Laces of gold were woven into the tapestries that depicted important events in the royal family line. Soft candlelight glowed from the chandeliers. And windows of stained glass each held a large heart in the center, similar to the heart at the end of the queen’s scepter that was always by her side.

Bittergiggle glanced at the scepter. A long staff made of fine wood with a comically large purple crystal heart at the end. Most would find it ridiculous at first glance, yet there was a certain thrumming to it. A sort of feeling that gave off power that no mere object could hold. It had a command of respect, order, and maybe a hint of humor, though Bittergiggle figured that was only his opinion on the feeling.

“Annnd… there.” The queen wrote something down, folding the paper and handing it off to Dadadoo, who only now Bittergiggle had realized was also in the room. When did he get there? “I think that settles the more important business for today. Until dinner, I suppose.” She turned her eyes on Bittergiggle, smiling at him. “Is there something you need?”

Bittergiggle hesitated. A small part of him wanted to tell her about his secret. To reveal an important secret that he’d come to learn not too long ago and share the great news. He wanted her advice on important matters concerning his condition and questioned if he should still be working as her jester.

“I… I wanted to talk about my brothers.” He said after a moment of silence.

The queen’s smile fell slightly. “Oh. I see. Are you having second thoughts about this plan? I know you’re not fully comfortable with the idea, so if you wish–”

“No! No, that’s not it, your majesty.” Bittergiggle quickly shook his head, jingling the bells in his hair. “I just wanted to ask if you were okay. With them being here. And about everything that might happen while they’re here.”

“Are you worried about them?” The queen asked.

“Eh.” Bittergiggle shrugged. “More or less worried of them than about. I know they’re not the best but…” But, what? He didn’t want them causing trouble? He didn’t want them breaking things that they shouldn’t? He didn’t want them making mistakes that others would take advantage of and use against him? He didn’t want them coming here and making a mess of his life just when it was starting to change?

He didn’t want them finding out his condition and who exactly the father was, because he knew they wouldn’t approve of him?

“But?” The queen inquired.

“But they’re still family.” The jester sighed. “As much as they’re a pain, I still have to look out for them. Though I’m more worried about the kingdom. I know they haven’t had the best track record of ‘modeled citizens’, and a lot of people don’t think very highly of them. So I’m a bit worried that they might do something if they don’t really agree to this plan.”

“I see. That is an understandable concern to have.” The queen nodded her head. “Well, as much as I would like things to go smoothly, there is no telling what your brothers might do. It’s hard enough to get them to listen, but with Toadster gone, it might be a small problem.”

Small?

Did the queen clearly not remember what happened the last time Toadster wasn’t around to stop his brothers?

Half of the castle was submerged in cake batter while it took several months for the whole guard to capture all the birds they released! Not to mention that they got melted cheese on some of the family portraits, and lost three-fourths of the castle’s treasury.

All under one hour after arriving for Her Majesty’s birthday.

Bittergiggle had a GREAT time yelling at his brothers in the dungeon that whole week.

“But we will have to work with what we have.” The queen continued. “Do you have any idea on how to convince them?”

“Not yet. But I’m sure I’ll think up something. After all, I’m pretty good with my words. Inspiration is bound to come flying at me when I least expect it!”

As soon as those words left his mouth, the window to his left suddenly exploded. Glass shards flew through the air as Bittergiggle jumped back in surprise. It was lucky that he had managed to move away so quickly, as something heavy landed right where he had been standing just mere moments ago. The queen let out a surprise yell, calling Bittergiggle’s name just as the guards burst in and quickly surrounded the object, pointing their spears at it.

Bittergiggle looked at the object in surprise, wondering if it was an attack and worried that the queen was in danger… when the item suddenly moved and let out a groan. He took a closer look at it and, once he could make out what he was seeing, let out a groan. “Oh no.” He sighed, just as the object sat up, shaking the glass out of their fur.

“Not the spectacular entrance I was imagining.” The figure mumbled, taking off their top hat and shaking the glass off it. “A lot more glass and not as much fireworks and confetti as I was expecting.” They huffed, plucking out a large shard that stuck out like a feather on their head. It was then that they noticed that they were surrounded by guards, looking at each one with an uneasy smile till their eyes landed on Bittergiggle, and a bright grin broke out across their face. “BITTERGIGGLE!”

The jester let out a small sigh, rollinghis  eyes while pinching the area between his eyes. “Hello Bittersurprise.”

Chapter Text

“Brother!” 

Bittergiggle braced himself as Bittersurprise swiftly jumped up and launched himself at him. The jester stumbled but managed to keep himself upright as his brother wrapped him in a tight hug. Tight enough that he could feel the small bits of shards in his brother’s fur poking his body. He was beginning to worry that the hug might crush his kid, but Bittersurprise soon released him and pulled away far enough to grin at him.

“It’s good to see you! It’s been way too long since I last saw you!”

“We literally saw each other only eight weeks ago.”

“EXACTLY! Eight weeks is FAR too long! I was starting to go crazy thinking when I might see you again!”

“You would have seen me in autumn at the harvest moon festival. That YOU and all our other brothers agreed to meet up.” Bittergiggle poked his brother’s cheek. “And NOT come four months earlier than planned.”

“I know! I know! I dislike sudden changes in plans as well. BUT! It’s a change I’m willing to take!” Bittersurprise stepped back, striking a pose. “After all, I, THE GREAT, POWERFUL, MAGNIFICENT, SPELL BOUNDING, AWE-STRIKING, GRAND AND WONDROUS MAGICAL MYSTICAL MYSTIC OUTSTANDING MAGICIAN! A.K.A., Magi for short. HAVE HEARD THROUGH THE MYSTIC VEIL OF OTHERWORLDLY BEINGS THAT A GRAND AND GLORIOUS PARTY WAS BEING THROWN HERE IN THIS VERY KINGDOM! AND BY MY SWORN DUTY AS PHENOMENAL, EXTRAORDINARY, BREATHTAKING, MIRACULOUS SHOWSTOPPER TRAVELING MAGICIAN, I KNEW MY PRESENCE WAS NEEDED IMMEDIATELY! AFTER ALL, ONLY THE MESMERISING, CHARMING, irresistible, POWERFUL MAGIC WIELDER SUCH AS I CAN MAKE A FESTIVAL THAT DUKE… uh, F-FUFU IS THROWING A HUNDRED, NO, A MILLION TIMES MORE GRAND AND GLORIOUS THAT NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO FORGET IT FOR GENERATIONS TO COME!”

As if on cue, a plume of smoke exploded from behind Bittersurprise, his cape fluttering as he appeared to sparkle and gleam under a beam of bright light that shone down on him from above.

“OI! You four! Stop glamorizing him and inflating his big ego!”

The four guards around Bittersurprise blushed behind their helmets, shuffling away quickly and taking their items with them while Bittersurprise kept his pose, even when his dramatic effects were taken away.

“There are so many things wrong with all of your words, I don’t even know where to begin.” Bittergiggle sighed, rubbing his face. “Oh, wait, yes I do. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU COME HERE JUST FOR A FESTIVAL AND NOT STICK TO OUR AGREEMENT ON SCHEDULE VISITS?!” The jester screamed at his brother, poking him right in the chest. “I’ve told you! COUNTLESS TIMES! That you CAN NOT just RANDOMLY APPEAR in the kingdom at ANY TIME YOU WANT! You and the rest of the gang have been given strict warnings on multiple accounts of your past behaviors AND repairs are still being made for your LAST visit!”

“H-Hey! Calm down, brother! No need to get harsh!” Bittersurprise raised his hands in surrender. “It wasn’t my grand and glorious idea to come here! Well, it was grand and glorious since I suggested it.” He flinched under Bittergiggle’s glare. “B-But! I had no choice in the matter! Sight and Sweetie were really adamant on going, and you know how hard it is to say no to them! Besides, we had to come! We barely get a chance to go to festivals and there’s even an open-stage event. An Open Stage Event! You know we can’t resist a chance to show everyone our talents!” He dropped his voice to a whisper. “And uh, between you and me? This is probably our best chance for us to actually enjoy something without Bitterbite around ruining things with his usual get-rich-quick money schemes.”

That… Bittergiggle had to silently agree.

Bitterbite had an assertive and aggressive personality. Something that the more meek and soft-spoken siblings couldn’t quite fight against. He was quite bold and thick-headed, so once his mind was set on something, it was very difficult to get him to change his mind. Especially since he expected things to go his way, and didn’t take into account of others feelings or opinions on things when he dragged them into his schemes.

Speaking of which.

“Where is Bitterbite?” Bittergiggle asked. “Your letter mentioned that Bite and three of our other brothers aren’t with you. Something about another scheme of his?”

Bittersurprise scoffed, waving a hand. “Obviously. He apparently heard a rumor from a tavern that a town near the south borders of the Seladorin had struck gold in the river and commoners are making quick money off of it. Bite figured if he got there quickly and obtained the rights of the river, he’d get all the gold and obtain wealth quickly.”

“A town in the south? Winchester?”

“I think that was the name.” Bittersurprise shrugged. “I didn’t get much of his rambling, but all I really know is that it’s supposed to be a town in the south.”

“Well if it’s Winchester, he’s going to be disappointed to learn that he’s not going to be making any money off that river. The gold found there was discovered to be fake. False gold.”

“Ooooo. He’s gonna be maaaad about that.”

Bittergiggle nodded his head, already imagining the fit Bitterbite was going to throw when he realized his new scheme led to a dead end. His other half was going to have a hard time calming him down. Speaking of which. “Who exactly got dragged along with Bite’s new scheme?”

“Well to no one’s surprise, his dear other half. Bite should take a page out of Bitterbright’s cautious nature and learn to slow down. But that’s likely not going to happen. Bittershiggle and Bitternuts tagged along for their own pleasure and a few laughs. So it’s only me, Lyrist, Sight, and Sweet… speaking of who, why haven’t they shown up yet?” He looked at the window he crashed through. “They were supposed to appear in dramatic fashionable order behind me! I had the slings set up and everything!”

Bittergiggle felt his eye twitch. “… slings? You mean… the trebuchets?”

“Of course!”

“… you used… one of the trebuchets… a machine built for war… meant for slinging giant rocks great distances… to sling not only you, but three of our other brothers… into the kingdom?”

“Yes! How else would I make a dramatic and fabulous entrance? Which… now I see wasn’t the best entrance to make. I kind of went one way while Sweet, Sight, and Lyrist all kind of flew in different directions. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if I would recommend such transportation for the future if it hurts this much… EH! I’m sure it’s fine! … why are you giving me a scary glare?”

⚜

It took a while, mainly over a few hours, but the guards soon returned with the missing brothers.

They didn’t seem too banged up, aside from Lyrist who had collided with a brick wall and suffered minor factors in his ribs. But other than that, his siblings acted like nothing was amiss and appeared completely normal.

“Thank the God of Creation you’re alright!” Bittergiggle sighed in relief, hugging his brothers tightly. “I was worried that maniac killed you!”

“Maniac?” Bittersweet tilted his head. “What maniac?”

“The one we’re unfortunately related to.” Bittergiggle shot a glare at the cot, the one that had Bittersurprise lying limp upon with a few lumps protruding from his head. He glared at him for a moment longer before turning his focus back on his other siblings. “You weren’t hurt too badly, right? No broken bones or cuts?”

“No.” Bittersweet shook their head, shaking some of the bandages loose. Bittersight, with the same as ever pleasant slow grin and pale vacant friendly eyes, copied Bittersweet, but at a slower, almost sloth-like pace.

“That’s a relief.” Bittergiggle smiled, stopping Bittersweet and readjusting his brother’s bandages. “It’s a good thing you both landed on something soft during your fall.”

“Dresses!” Bittersweet cried out in delight, beaming widely. “Dresses! Pretty, pretty dresses!”

“Pil… lows.”

It was remarkably lucky. Bittersweet and Bittersight had been flung to different parts of the kingdom, and while Bittergiggle had worried that his brothers landings were harsh, fortune was smiling upon Bittersweet and Bittersight.

Bittersweet had landed in a small hill made out of dresses that a nobleman had bought for his daughter, and Bittersight just so happened to land in a large, puffy, surprisingly deep pillow that not only cushioned his fall, but he was in so deep in the pillow that no one had noticed he was even in there till the cart carrying the pillow was brought to the home of the Bareness it belonged to.

Bittersight was now expected to have tea with the Bareness next week.

Bittergiggle fretted over his brothers for a bit longer before he was satisfied. His gaze went over to the last brother. Lyrist was by the infirmary window, gazing out of it intently with a forlorn look in his eyes. Bittergiggle frowned, wondering if there was something wrong with his sibling.

“Is he alright?” He whispered to Bittersight, pointing at Lyrist. “He looks gloomier than a rain cloud hanging over a graveyard.” And that was more than his usual level of gloom.

Bittersight frowned, shaking his head slowly. “… bro… ken… not… healed.”

“That bad, huh?” Bittergiggle sighed, looking over at his brother. He wondered if he should go over there and ask what was wrong. He probably won’t say anything to me. He usually likes to keep to himself and his poems. Which is odd. Normally he’d already have his quill and paper out to jot down new ideas. He really must be down if he’s not even writing poetry. I wonder what happened?

Figuring he could ask later, he turned his focus back on the younger pair. It was wrong to say that he had favorites among his brothers, but he couldn’t deny that out of his eight siblings, Bittersweet and Bittersight were his favorite siblings. They were the least hectic and chaos-inducing, so it was easy to trust that they could behave themselves.

Plus, without the influence from their other brothers, these two were probably the tamest of their siblings.

“So… who’s hungry?” Bittersweet and Bittersight instantly lifted their hands up, their stomachs instantly growling at the mere mention of food.

A giggle left Bittergiggle, trying hard not to notice that his own stomach was both growling in hunger and turning with nausea as he led the pair out of the infirmary. 

⚜

The smell of cooked food and baked goods assaulted the jester’s nose. His stomach turned and lurched, and it took Bittergiggle all his willpower to turn on his heel and dash for the nearest bathroom.

Keep it together, Bitter. Just… hold it together.

He mentally chanted, swiping a bread roll for himself as Sweet and Sight went about the kitchen grabbing whatever was available and adding to their growing mountain of food on their plates. He finally managed to usher them out when the head chef seemed to reach his patience with them, and the three of them went outside to eat in relative peace.

Bittergiggle had to fight himself from grimacing as he bit into the roll. The taste of soft sweet bread made his stomach turn, and the jester had to force it to stay down as his brothers ate their fill. He did not want to alert them of his condition.

Once the roll was devoured, he shoved a handful of peanuts into his mouth, chewing on them to quell his turning insides.

By the God of Creation, is this what Her Majesty had to deal with during her pregnancies? What anyone who had to deal with when with child? It was horrible! And he still had MONTHS to go!

A whine left Bittergiggle’s lips, swallowing the nutty mush in his mouth.

Months. He was stuck like this until the kid was ready to come out. And that depended if he could get the correct treatment to be sure he got them to full term.

Would he have things figured out by then? Most likely not. But at least if he got to that point, then he could at least have some peace of mind knowing that he made it through the whole pregnancy without killing the kid.

He looked over at his brothers, watching them chat aimlessly with each other. A part of him wondered if he should break the news to them. Sight and Sweet were probably the only siblings he was really close to. Being the youngest, they tended to look up to their older brothers with some reverence. Yet, Bittergiggle still had some doubt if he even should tell them.

As much as he liked them, Sight and Sweet were TERRIBLE at keeping secrets. Even if he promised them mounds of sweets to keep their mouths shut, they would instantly tell anyone who asked.

They weren’t trying to be mean about it. But Bittergiggle would rather keep his condition a secret for just a little longer.

A sound cut through his thoughts above him, making Bittergiggle glance up.

His heart did three or four flips in fear as a large bird that was quickly descending towards the ground. Someone shrieked, and Bittergiggle grabbed his two brothers, pulling them to safety as the bird landed with a thud, shaking the ground and kicking up dust.

“Water… mellon!”

“I’ll get you another slice later! Right now we need to–! Oh. It’s just you.” All the fear that he felt quickly disappeared, frowning at the bird now that he had a better look at it.

The bird was as tall as him, with a wingspan that was five times its body size. A harness was strapped around its chest, with a large golden star presented proudly on its chest with a crystal heart etched in the center of the metal.

The bird turned its head, side-eyeing Bittergiggle and his brothers with a look that just screamed bored and done.

“Birdy!” Sweet cheered, trying to reach out to pet the large bird. Bittergiggle kept a tight hold on him, making sure they were ten steps away from the bird and out of its reach. He did not believe the red of its beak was natural.

“Hi… bird.” Sight gave a small wave, smiling at the creature.

The bird stared at them for a moment, before rolling its eyes. Bittergiggle didn’t know whether to be offended or appalled. It quickly spotted the food that Sight and Sweet had dropped, and set to work snapping up everything.

“Hey!”

“Our food…”

“Let it go, you two.” Bittergiggle patted their shoulders sympathetically. “It’s not that big of a loss. If you’re still hungry, we can head to town to get something.”

The pair pouted, but thankfully didn’t voice any objections to the idea.

In fact, Bittergiggle was starting to feel a bit more peckish, and the idea of eating in town sounded rather appealing. “In fact, I knew this wonderful new bakery that has a fine selection of donuts we could try out.” His brothers faces instantly perked up upon hearing the word donuts. “It’s a bit of a walk, so we’ll have to take Kitty and–”

He took a step towards Kittysaurus’ barn.

The bird instantly snapped its head up, staring straight at him.

Bittergiggle froze.

The bird stared.

Slowly, Bittergiggle moved an inch back.

The bird continued to stare.

He lifted one foot and took a step back.

Staring.

“…”

Without a single word, Bittergiggle twisted on his heels and instantly bolted.

There was a squawking sound just behind him, the fluttering of feathers, and a small shriek of terror that echoed in the courtyard as Bittergiggle ran for his life away from the bird.

“LEAVE ME ALOOOOOOONE!”

Chapter Text

He hated birds.

Ever since he was a little kid he always despised the wretched creatures.

They had some sort of grudge against him that had no explanation. Every bird that he met would squawk and scream at him, chasing him around to peck at him. Many who owned birds had trained them to specifically attack him and his kind, and Bittergiggle’s hatred for the feathered beasts only grew.

It didn’t help that birds were a big factor in life for their many uses, so as much as he didn’t like it, Bittergiggle was stuck with them for life.

And this one in particular seemed to want to make his life extra miserable.

“GET AWAY FROM MEEEEE!”

Bittergiggle was thankful to have long legs and an incredibly flexible body. Taking twists and sharp turns and jumping hurdles were easy. No one normally expected that the job of being a jester was anything special, which made it easy when they never expected him to be able to pull any parkour maneuvers in a flash. It was fun to pull a stunt or a move that no one would expect him to be able to do, and more useful to get away from particular people with bad tempers and extreme distaste for Serinsperins.

However, no matter how many twists and turns and walls he scaled, the bird was always right behind him. Wherever he ran, it was close behind him like a shadow. It was starting to get rather annoying at this point.

And very tiring.

An ache was starting to build inside his feet, and Bittergiggle could feel exhaustion creeping up on him. He needed a way to lose this crazy bird, and fast, before he lost all his energy to run.

His eyes scanned around for any possible escape routes. He caught sight of a familiar barn-like structure, and, without hesitation, made a mad dash for it.

Luck was shining on him as no guard was stationed at the door, so no one was able to stop him from jumping on the large double doors, scaling up to the open window high above, and slipping inside while simultaneously shutting the window behind him.

A breathless laugh escaped his panting lips as he heard the bird squawking outside. Feeling safe at last, the jester collapsed on a pile of soft pillows, checking himself for any harm.

Aside from some exhaustion, he seemed alright. He caught himself checking his abodemen frequently, chiding himself for being worried when he knew the kid was alright. 

It had just been some running. Running wasn’t going to do the kid any harm! … probably.

He gazed down at his still flat stomach, wondering if all this excitement was good for the kid or not. He couldn’t remember if her majesty had done a lot of movement for her pregnancies… did he need to cut back on his movement as well?

Before Bittergiggle could think too deeply about it, a large head poked over the rim of the balcony, staring at him with big dark eyes, and the jester forgot all about his worries.

“KITTY!” With a squeal, Bittergiggle jumped up, leaning over the railing of the balcony and cooed at the large feline.

A soft coo reverberated from the hybrid, pressing her large nose to Bittergiggle’s outstretched hand and purring contently as he gave her a few affectionate scratches.

“How’s my precious wittle baby doing~? How’s my wittle princess~?” Bittergiggle cooed, scratching Kittysaurus’s favorite spot behind her ear. “Are you my good girl~? Hmm~? Yes~ Yes you are~!”

Kittysaurus’s tongue rolled out from her mouth, swiping it across Bittergiggle’s whole body. Far too used to it, Bittergiggle only giggled in delight, racing down the stairs to the ground floor and practically throwing himself to his giant pet.

If there was one thing that calmed him down more than anything else in the world, it was his beloved pet.

He didn’t understand why anyone who took one look at her and only saw her as a beast or a monster. She was a sweet kitty! A playful, cuddly, loveable kitty! And she was all his!

After all, he took care of her when she was but a wee little kitten when he found her, and he happily raised her ever since! Yes, she was a tad bit big, but so was the queen, and no one ever complained about HER size!

Breathing in deeply, Bittergiggle sighed contentedly. This. This is what he needed most. A stable pillar in his dark sea of doubt and fear. A happy reminder and comfort for his spiraling thoughts.

Purrs rolled in Kittysaurus’s body, rolling on her back and presenting her belly.

“Ah, Kitty~” Bittergiggle cooed, happily obligating his pet’s silent plea for belly rubs. Her fur was so soft and warm, the jester almost felt comfortable enough to curl up on his pet and fall asleep right here and now.

But, events of the past few days plagued his mind, and Bittergiggle wasn’t sure if resting was a good idea right about now. Besides, who knows what his brothers might get in to if he didn’t keep an eye on them?

“Our simple, peaceful days are slipping through our fingers, Kitty.” He sighed wistfully. “Things are changing. And it might not be for the better.”

Having his brothers here certainly wouldn’t make things better. Even if it was only half of them, four unruly siblings was hard enough to handle. Sight and Sweet were easy enough to handle if it was just them, but with Surprise and Lyrist in the mix, something was sure to catch on fire.

It was going to be stressful… stressful.

A pit grew inside Bittergiggle’s stomach.

Stress. He knew stress wouldn’t be good for him, not in this condition. His life was already hectic enough as it is, but now that his brothers were in the mix…

“Hoooooo by the God of Creation.” Bittergiggle moaned, sinking himself into the soft fur of his pet. He hadn’t thought about it much, but now he was starting to regret it.

Stress was not good for the kid inside him, and with his brothers around, it was going to be a hundred times more difficult. He wanted his pregnancy to go smoothly. Or, at least trouble free as much as possible. But now things have gotten even more complicated than normal.

His hand trailed to his middle, wondering if things were going to get worse from here on out.

As if to answer his inner dilemma, he heard something behind him, and nearly had a heart attack when he glanced back. 

Standing a few feet behind him was the bird.

“HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!” Bittergiggle shrieked, causing Kittysaurus to jolt and lift her head.

An annoyed look somehow managed to appear on the bird’s face, as if it was the one who found this situation to be vexing it instead of Bittergiggle.

Bittergiggle pressed his back against his cat, breathing heavily. He needed to get away from the bird. He didn’t want this THING attacking him. The struggle might just end up hurting the kid if he wasn’t careful!

He was debating if he could manage getting around the bird to get to the window on the balcony when Kittysaurus suddenly shifted. The large feline tilted her head towards the bird, her nose twitching as she sniffed the air a few times. For a moment, Bittergiggle hoped that she would be able to scare off the bird, but to his horror, his pet let out a happy, trilling noise, trying to headbutt the bird in a friendly manner.

“… WHAT?!” Bittergiggle stared, flabbergasted at the action. Normally, his pet would scare off any bird she saw, giving in to her old predatory instincts to chase them down for a hunt. But here she was cuddling up to a walking feather duster! “KITTY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Can’t you see that’s a bird?! You should be going GRAA, Ra-Ra-Raaa! OOOOOH free chicken! NOM-NOM-NOM! Instead of smothering it in cuddles and kisses like it’s some old–! … friend… oh.” A deadpanned look crossed his face, taking another look at the bird.

He felt like an idiot, mentally slapping himself for not being able to recognize the star emblem with a crystal heart inside.

Only one person used such badge.

And only one person owned this bird.

“Hello, Tarta.” Bittergiggle sighed, pinching the area between his eyes. 

Of course, it had to be TOADSTER’S bird to give him such a big fright. The only bird that, while it clearly didn’t like him, didn’t outright attack him on sight.

Tarta, Toadster’s messenger bird. Whenever the sheriff was summoned away from the kingdom, he would send letters of details and reports to keep her majesty updated on things. Tarta was very reliable at their job as they always got to the place they were meant to go, and delivered messages to the right person. Though Bittergiggle often told Toadster, over and over again, that he DID NOT want the bird anywhere near him!

The jester let out a long, suffering sigh.

Of course, Toadster had to send the bird to him.

And OF COURSE his kid just had to mess WITH HIS BRAIN! Stupid pregnancy.

He gave his belly a little poke, sending his displeasure to the kid inside him, and got off of Kittysaurus. Since his pet had Tarta’s attention, maybe he could finally get away?

As if sensing his plans, Tarta snapped its attention onto him.

… oooor maybe not.

Bittergiggle frowned, glaring at the bird. Tarta gave him a look that screamed boredom, then promptly lifted one of its legs out and shook it.

“… what are you…? Oh!” Realization hit the jester, chiding himself for not putting two and two together earlier as he approached the bird.

It was difficult. Having years of strong aversion towards birds, Bittergiggle found it quite difficult to approach Toadster’s bird. He had told the Toaddosin time and time again that he would never get along with birds, and Toadster had argued that he didn’t need to. Bittergiggle just had to get comfortable enough to get near Tarta to retrieve the letters they were delivering.

Easier said than done. The jester kept flinching and jumping away from the bird if it even so much as twitched. Finally, the jester managed to grab the container strapped to Tarta’s leg, opening it and retrieving the letter from inside. Clutching the paper close to his chest, Bittergiggle dashed up the stairs to the balcony, wanting to put a good fair distance between him and the bird. 

Once safe on the upper balcony, he went straight to the small desk he kept hidden up here, dropping a small sun stone in a lantern to give him some light, and set to work opening the letter.

His heart fluttered as he saw the neat handwriting on the clear paper, eagerly soaking up each word as he read the letter carefully.

Dear Bittergiggle,

How are you? I hope you’re doing alright. Though that might be just a bit of a stretch if Tarta gave this letter to you directly instead of going to the mail post like I asked. I know you hate getting letters like this and I’m sorry, but Tarta was the only option to get this letter to you as quickly as possible. I sincerely apologize if Tarta bugged you, and I promise I’ll make it up to you when I get back.

Speaking of which, how are things back at the kingdom? Is anyone giving you any trouble? If there’s any problem that needs dealing with, you just let me know. I’ll drop everything and come straight back! Might be a bit difficult to manage with all I got going on over here.

I know I hadn’t properly explained why I left a while ago, but things have been running smoothly on my end over here. Namely a particular dam that needed ‘special’ touches here and there, and some trouble that needed some sorting out. It was rough the first few days since I got here, ain’t gonna lie about it, but so far things are shaping out to be fine now! With how it’s going, I might be done sooner than planned and get back to the kingdom quickly.

This might be a bit sappy, but I miss you. I miss your smile, your laughs, and even your jokes, and it’s only been a few weeks now. How about after I get back to the kingdom, you and I can spend some time together, just the two of us? We haven’t been on a date for a while, and I reckon that we should fix that soon. How about dinner? A picnic under the stars? Or maybe some shopping? I honestly wouldn’t mind that if it meant spending time with you.

I have so much I want to add, but I should keep this letter short. I hope this gets to you swift and safely.

Love, Toadester.

P.S. If Tarta went straight to you instead of the mail post, you have my blessings to flick him on the beak.  

A smile tugged on Bittergiggle’s lips. The tension that had been having a tight hold over him ever since he found out about his little stowaway began to loosen and slip away. A sense of calm, and warmth fluttered in his chest, feeling oddly comforted by the kind words in his hands.

Somehow, someway, Toadster always knew the right words to say or do that could ground Bittergiggle back to reality while making him feel that everything was going to be alright. Sure he could be a little blunt at times, but Bittergiggle would rather have some blunt truth than fancy lies. The old king had often stated that it was better to have something bitter than sweet all the time, and he often associated that phrase with truths and lies. And Toadster was probably the most honest person he ever knew, even if he didn’t tell the full truth and withheld some things. It was still better than being a flat-out liar.

“Toady~” Clutching the paper close to his chest, Bittergiggle tried imagining thick, strong arms around him. Dry, leathery skin that had a faint smell of caramel and brown sugar sticking to moderate yet high official clothes. Bright golden eyes that held warmth, care, righteousness, and vigilance within them. Rough, callused, strong webbed hands that had small scars on them, littered on his skin from years of loyal servitude and justice.

Pressing his face to the paper, Bittergiggle inhaled deeply. Was that an earthy smell? Or a faint whiff of caramel and sugar? A dreamy sigh escaped Bittergiggle, happy that Toadster took time off his busy schedule to send him a letter.

A letter. He should send Toadster a letter!

Searching around the desk, Bittergiggle retrieved a clean sheet of paper, happy with himself for remembering to refill the ink bottles he kept hidden up here as he cleared away a clean space to write.

He only managed to write down a few words on the paper when he stopped and pondered. There were so many things Bittergiggle wanted to say to Toadster, plenty of them that he wanted to tell. But the biggest thing he wanted the sheriff to know about…

… was them.

Bittergiggle placed a hand over his middle, suddenly feeling uneasy.

Should he write about his little discovery? Should he reveal his current state to his lover through a letter instead of face-to-face? It would be easier, writing down what he found out a few days ago, but at the same time it didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel proper or the best way to tell Toadster that he was likely going to be a father. It felt like he was cheating and taking the easy way out just telling the Toaddosin that they had a kid on the way on a piece of paper instead of spoken words.

Would Toadster even want a kid? Bittergiggle remembered the sheriff never outright stating that he never wanted a family, but he never indicated that he did want one. He liked kids well enough, but would he be willing to take on the task of raising one?

Was HE willing to take on such task?

Bittergiggle was still on the fence with that. On one hand, the idea of having his own kid was terrifying. He had helped the queen with her own children and liked them well enough, but he had seen how hard and tiring it could be, even with all the help the queen could get raising her offspring. But on the other hand, he wasn’t against the idea of a family. Yes, families could be quite a mess, but Bittergiggle knew not all families were a big, jumbled mess. The queen’s late father had been quite a loving father to his children, including Bittergiggle.

Even when he got some complaints about taking in a Serinsperin, the king was quite adamant that Bittergiggle was part of the family, no matter what others said.

And he dealt with others accordingly if they had more than complaints to share about it.

Shaking his head, Bittergiggle opted not to share about his condition. Not yet. Not till he knew what to do, and told Toadster in person. It would be better if he told the sheriff face-to-face rather than over a piece of paper. That way, Toadster wouldn’t have to worry about unnecessary things when he was busy, or come rushing back without completing his tasks.

I feel bad not telling him about it, but this is something that would be best to talk about in person. Bittergiggle thought, folding the paper and looking round the desk for an envelope. I’m still getting over the shock knowing I have a kid growing inside of me, even though it’s been a few days already. I don’t even know how Toadster will react if he found out. I mean, I guess we did sort of talk about it when we finally got around to talking with each other again after that night, and he didn’t seem so against the idea. But what if… what if he was just putting on a brave face so that I wouldn’t feel scared and worried over the possibility?

The thin paper in his hands felt heavier than it should be as he stared down at it. There were many ifs that he didn’t feel comfortable to talk about. Ifs were uncertainties, and Bittergiggle didn’t feel comfortable not having anything certain to stand on.

What if Toadster wouldn’t be happy if he found out? What if he tried to put on a brave face, yet secretly despised the idea? What if he flat-out told Bittergiggle that he didn’t like the idea, and they’d get into an intense argument over it?

What if he left Bittergiggle? Told him it was over, that he should move on and find someone else who was willing to stay by his side till the end?

That made the jester feel slightly sick to his stomach, shaking his head as he got up and went down to the lower floor. Kitty was half asleep on her massive pillow bed, letting out a large yawn as Tarta sat perched on her back, preening their feathers. Once it spotted him approaching, it hopped off Kittysaurus’ back, standing a respectful distance away from Bittergiggle.

The Royal Jester hesitated, slowly holding out the letter with one hand while keeping the rest of himself away from the bird. He swore the bird rolled its eyes at him, yet opened its beak and took the letter from him. A sigh of relief left Bittergiggle’s mouth, counting his fingers to be sure they were all there, then casually flicking the bird’s beak. The glare that was sent his way made Bittergiggle flinch and take a step back, but thankfully, Tarta merely turned its focus to the balcony, spreading its wings.

A moment later, the bird was gone, and Bittergiggle caught the sound of a window snapping shut soon after. Now that the bird was truly gone, Bittergiggle finally relaxed, dragging his feet towards his pet and joined her on her soft bed.

Today had been eventful, draining him dry of energy. All Bittergiggle wanted to do right now was curl up and sleep, but he knew that he couldn’t. He still had to keep an eye on his brothers, and there was also the plan that he needed to discuss with them. Not to mention, with his duty as the Court Jester, he would need to perform his duty soon.

He looked over at his giant pet, finding her fast asleep next to him. Her soft, easy breathing broke the stillness of the barn. Warmth emanated from her fur, and Bittergiggle wondered if his life could ever be as simple as hers.

A warm bed. Good food. And a loving owner. Hard to compete with a life like that. And a stable companion who’s been with him ever since he was a child.

Bittergiggle smiled, wrapping his arms around his middle, wondering if his child would be a cat lover like him.