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Our story starts on a bright, sunny ,Tuesday morning where we meet James who was racing towards the dock where he would get on the most wonderful and grand cruise he had ever been on. You see, James worked for national geographic as a journalist and was always looking for a new opportunity to write an article. Today , he got invited on the renowned Jamaican cruise with a group of marine biology interns to act as a sort of shadow over their studies. James was anticipating this being one of his most eventful writing works yet ,that could hopefully solidify him a spot as nat geo’s top journalist. Little did he know, this cruise was not going to be what it seemed.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------“Woah would you look at the view ! Its like I can almost perfectly invision what the coast of Jamaica will look like when we arrive.” This was Mark speaking , one of the interns on board. The ship hadn't even set sail yet but he was still in awe of the view of straight blue waves in front of him. His room was on the opposite side of the entrance of the ship, close to the hull of the ship. He shared a room with three other guys that he met from his music group back in highschool. Mark was glad to have friends on this ship to talk to during their passage to Jamaica. This was gonna be one hell of a trip and he knew that neo would have his back through it all.
“응 뷰가 꽤 좋아.” Haechan, one of Marks roommates answered him back. Haechan only spoke korean, but that shouldn't be much of a problem in Jamaica …right? Haechan assumed they spoke Jamaican so language wouldn't matter if none of the interns could speak it either. (You can’t fucking speak Jamaican Haechan.)
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“WAIT!!!!!! STOP !!!” James tried to push through the rapidly closing gangway on the ship, this guy sure isn't good with time. He had just arrived when the ship was all clear to take off ,how inconvenient. The Captain of the ship looked down and sighed as he caught sight of James down below waving his hands in the air and screaming. Here goes another delay…He thought as he ordered one of the attendants to lower the drawbridge back down. The ship’s captain, Zanmang Loopy, had been dealing with minor inconveniences all day before James had arrived. Loopy thought this time the ship would FINALLY be able to set sail , but here comes James waddling up the runway. The ship’s attendants had to show him to his room and check him in before they could set off to Jamaica. Zanmang Loopy expected this would take another--at least 10 minutes ,so he opened block blast on his mobile phone awaiting an ‘Ok!’ from one of the attendants, signaling that everyone was set.
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As for the other passengers, they weren't short of annoyance either. One of the other interns , Dave Mustaine angrily tapped his finger on the windowsill of his balcony room after hearing the announcement of yet another delay on the intercom. “Im CONVINCED these fuckers have never sailed a ship before!”
He muttered angrily, glaring out the window to nobody in particular. “God, this trip was such a dumb idea.”
A few moments later, the drawbridge was up and there was a knock on the door. Dave reluctantly got up from the chair next to the windowsill and opened it, only to be met with a familiar face he grew to feel more than contemptuous about.
“Uh, hi, Dave.” James mumbled shyly, the attendants behind him carrying his duffel bag and a pink satchel that probably held some kind of haircare. James had a lululemon belt bag slung across his body, too. Dave felt a pang of jealousy; here he was, a journalist for Nat Geo and probably making double any money he ever will, while Dave is stuck being a lousy intern.
Wow, what a start to this trip, he thought.
“Hi. I’m going to get dressed,” he spoke indifferent and detached, hopefully dissuading James from any small talk. “Just leave your stuff in the other room. It’s attached.” So this was the guy he had to deal with the rest of the way there. The guy that held up the trip even longer, the guy keeping Dave from recording his aesthetic cruise vlog. “This moron…” Dave whispered under his breath as James started to make his way to the room over. “Excuse me?” James spoke up. Well, Dave didn't see this one coming. “I-I mean this fucking majestic looking fellow!”
“Thank you?” James replied, uncertain if Dave was some kind of crazy person. He walked into his room, and Dave collected a change of clothes from his Marc Jacobs travel bag he won in a fishing competition a year or so back; it was between some Korean girl and a man who repeatedly yelled “Neo got my back!” when he reeled in a sizable catch. Dave slipped on his clout goggles after he finished changing into some casual vacation wear.
As much as Dave would like to be accompanied on the big ship, he did not want to wait for James. He left the room, wandering aimlessly and hoping to stumble upon a minibar or some kind of buffet.
Sure enough, he found what he was looking for. Suddenly the money and inconveniences of the trip became worth it, since this bar was the definition of grandeur:
A lanky but well-dressed man stood behind the marble counter that had gold pillars on each side. A small indoor pool accompanied the set up, a large chandelier hanging above, the crystal gleaming against the noonday sun. Dave spent a moment scrutinizing the surroundings before walking towards the bar and taking a seat.
The man raised an eyebrow, confused, “Um sir the ship’s bar opens at 11:00.” he pointed to a sign on one of the large pillars. “C’mon can any of you fuckers just give me at least one thing good today. Fuckin pour me a pint.” Dave motioned the attendant back behind the bar ,to get to work on his drink. “Sir, Im going to have to ask you to leave. I told you we open at 11:00.” Oh no. This wasn't going to end well.
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“Bwingo ! Rwoom 73 ,mwy luckme numba !” Mike Tyson ,another passenger on the ship cheerfully pranced into room 73 on the upper level of the ship.He was using this trip as a reward for successfully being clean off meth for 3 weeks. He wasn't an intern , but he worked for national geographic like James, but as a photographer. Mike swiped his room key on the door and opened room 73’s door to see a short-statured Danish man with emerald green eyes. “Hewwo roomwate!! Iwm Mwike Twyson.”
The Danish man looked up at the doorway where Mike stood, he seemed to be folding something. “Hi… Im Lars …and you were-um…M-Mike?” Mike nodded yes. “What awre yow worwking own?” Mike walked fully into the room ,threw his luggage aside to the bed across from Lars’s, and sat down next to him. “Oh ,yeah,this. Im folding paper cranes. I read somewhere if you make a thousand you get a wish. Needed a pastime anyway,” Lars handed Mike one of the cranes. “Here you can keep this one,Maybe it can act like a good luck charm for you.”
“Aw thanks mwan!” If you didn’t focus on Mike’s naturally threatening appearance – what with the face tattoos and all – and lisp, he seemed to be a very kindhearted person. Lars could use a roommate like that for the next week or two. “So what brings you on board? I don’t remember your name on the intern list.” Lars selected another small sticky note and began folding again. “Oh i’m nawt own of thowse; I do phwotogwaphy with Scott Stapp!”
“Scott Stapp? Like the guy who used to be in Creed?”
“Shuwe thing!” Mike grinned, picking up the paper crane and feeling the texture of the sticky note like it was some ancient relic. “You did a really good job own thwis one. So, what’s that wish of youws?”
Lars smiled dreamily, shaking his head and appearing to be half-absorbed in thought. “Can’t tell you,” he tried to change the subject, hoping Mike doesn’t press him further, “Anyway, are you excited to see the jellyfish?”
“Shuwe am!”
He smiled again. “That’s good. We should get to the coast sometime tonight, according to the captain. In the meantime, I’m gonna take a swim. Come with, if you’d like.”
Mike laughed giddily. “Yes!”
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By the time the ship reached the coast, Captain Loopy sent out an announcement: “we’ve reached our first destination! All interns report to the main exit – attendants will be there to assist you. Journalists, photographers, and everyone else please report to the Observation Terrace. Thank you.”
Dave begrudgingly left the bar (still no drink in hand, however he convinced the bartender to remain there and have some la croix), observing the other interns around him as if it was their first time together. Lars nervously made eye contact with him more than once, leaving Dave confused; did he do something? Surely not…Eh, who cares? Dave ran to the front of the crowd with his selfie stick in hand ,this was going to be a great vlog.
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“I forgot how beautiful Jamaica was, its been a while since i've been back here with you.” Dr. house, the ship’s cook admired the view of the island from the observation deck. This island was his home and his everything. Since his wife passed away three months ago he hasn't been back on board, until now. Dr. House’s son ,Kirk Hammett House, also came with. Kirk was born on th very island 23 years ago. That day was the best d of Dr.House and his wives life. Its a shame she couldn't be here to see Kirk all grown up,taking after his father working on the ship and surfing in his free time. “Yeah ,after being gone for so long I can’t wait to get back to surfing.” Kirk made peace signs with his hands which made Dr. House let out a small chuckle. He loved his son so much,but his ADHD was so present at times. Kirk frequently took medication for his mental illness,that Dr.House provided to hopefully allow him to prevent overdosing (Kirk was not the most responsible ,and his dad definitely did NOT trust him with xanax).
Soon James and Mike Tyson appeared on the observation deck next to Kirk and Dr. House. House and Mike were acquainted from years past, and took their sweet old time to discuss the last decade they’d spent by the oceans, on ships, and who they’ve met along the way. House reluctantly opened up about the past few months, dealing with grief and loss, and Mike proved to be more compassionate than anyone else he’d told.
“Oh my goth, I’m swo sowwy you had to dweal with that,” he sighed, planting a hand on the doctor-slash-cook’s shoulder. “If you evwer need anyfwing, pwease reach ouwt.”
House sighed, smiling sadly. “Thank you, Mike.”
The sentimentality was quickly cut short by Captain Loopy approaching the two from behind. “HELLO PLEASE GET OFF THE BOAT.” he spoke in all capital letters. Startled, the two men quickly rushed through the exit and took in their sights. “YOU GUYS TOO!!” Loopy yelled at James and Kirk who were making small talk on the side. This was James’s chance to get some awesome notes down with the interns.
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Captain Loopy went to go anchor the boat in place whilst the passengers got instructions. The bartender Dave argued with earlier was at the front of the crowd of people that were off the ship. He held a clipboard in his hand with written instructions on it. “Welcome interns and nat geo workers alike to Jamaica! Tomorrow we’ll make our way to Ocho Rios, but for now enjoy the nighttime coast; the jellyfish and algae will be bright tonight!” Lars perked up. He has always wanted to see bioluminescence at night. This was going to be so cool. “However ,since its dark and easy to hurt yourself navigating alone, we’ve decided to use a buddy system. Interns and nat geo workers will be split into groups of four. Is everyone ready to hear their groups? Remember to stay with them at all times, unless you’re back at home camp.” There was a sea of nods ‘yes’ from the crowd and with that the bartender started to read off names. “First we have group one with Mike, Haechan, Mark and Stone. Group two with Lars, Dave, James and Tommy. And group three with Kirk, Dr.House, Cosmo, and Moses.”
Lars scanned the crowd. Did he just hear someone named Moses? And of course he was grouped with the one person he was feeling most conflicted about. This better be the best night swim he’s ever had, or he’ll gladly swim back home.
James and Dave were already together, Lars walking over to join them. He’d never really spoken to Tommy, but he was plenty nice and Lars wouldn’t mind. “How do you guys think about going for a night swim first? I heard the bartender mention the waters should be really pretty tonight.” Tommy suggested this and Lars excitedly nodded. How did Tommy just read his mind like that? Dave grunted but ultimately agreed, and James eagerly took out his notebook to write this experience down. It's not everyday you get to see something like glowing blue waters. This article was for sure going to get James a promotion.
The group said their goodbyes to the bartender (not Dave, who had not become any less angry) and left towards the beach on the other side of the island.
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As they were walking ,Tommy pulled something out of his back pocket on his lululemon leggings. “What’s that?” Lars asked him. “My hair clips. It's so my hair doesn't get in my face while we’re swimming.” Tommy carefully sectioned off his hair while walking and slid the hair clips into place. By now, the group was just arriving at the south side beach ,where the bioluminescence was supposed to shine the brightest.
“Do you mind if I like play music while we swim?” Tommy asked, holding up his hot pink speaker. “What kind of music? Lars knows how I feel about fuckin power ballads.” Dave sneered as he pulled on his wetsuit. Lars blushed a bit,did Dave just mention his name? “Okay you don’t have to be such a downer! Whats your issue with power ballads?” Dave side eyed Tommy, not in any particular mood to listen to him whine. “When my pee paw passed he was listening to that shit. Fuckin hate power ballads nothing good comes outta them.““Oh im sorry, my condolences. I’ll put on Troye Sivan instead ,hows that sound?”
“No! Put on something good. I hate gay sissy music.” Dave rolled his eyes. Troye Sivan? You couldn't catch him listening to that (he does).
“He’s not just gay ,he makes good songs Dave! Y’know like ‘I feel the rush addicted to your touch’ fucking banger like…” he trailed off, mumbling some curses under his breath. Lars looked at him, a bit surprised he actually spoke his mind to Dave. Lord knows he wouldn’t, but he guessed it was different. Dave just scoffed.
“I’m more of a classical kinda guy.” James chimed in after he finished changing into his swim shorts. “You know, Tchaikovsky, Beethoven, all that stuff.”
“Classical music is stupid,” Dave retorted. “Anyone who listens to that should be condemned. Straight to the chair.”
Lars liked to think that Dave just had some extremely dry sarcasm, but he couldn’t tell at this point. He hadn’t spoken for the entire duration of the conversation, but his frustration was climbing; why couldn’t they just all swim and not argue about whatever Tommy decided to put on the speaker? “Okay, I’m going in the water. I don’t wanna listen to you guys squabble.” He walked off, wiggling his toes in the sand and getting closer to wading through the glowing waves. “Wait ! Lars! We have to use the buddy system, remember?!” James yelled after him. Lars however did not turn back whatsoever (especially after hearing the sound of Pound The Alarm from Tommy’s direction) and plunged into the illuminated water. James sighed and started writing in his notebook, whatever if he didn't want to listen he’d do something more productive than running after Lars. Then, just as he really got into his writing –
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” Suddenly a scream erupted from in the far distance. “What the fuck was that can four hotties not just enjoy the beach?!” Tommy snorted as he applied sunblock (Its pitch black outside why is he doing allat). Dave, however, turned his head towards the water. “It's Lars. I know that scream anywhere." Dave and Lars had known each other since marine biology club in middle school and were kind of friends. To Lars their relationship was ‘complicated’. Dave swiftly pulled an Altar’d State bow hair tie out of Tommy’s thirty one beach bag and tied his ginger locks back. “I’m going in.” Dave said sternly. “ What the hell Dave! Dave! DAVE! DAVID DID YOU NOT HEAR ME ABOUT THE BUDDY SYSTEM!!!!????” James screeched. “YEAH WELL YOU LET LARS OFF! I’LL BE HIS BUDDY IM NOT ALONE! AND MIND YER OWN BUSINESS!” Dave yelled back as he descended into the water.
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Where the fuck is he? Dave thought as he waded through blue waves. “LARS !!!” Dave called out his name into the dark sky. There was no answer. Fuck. Dave wouldn’t ever forgive himself if he found the danish man’s dead body floating in the water. “LARS!!! SAY SOMTHING IF YOU CAN HEAR ME FUCKER!!”” Dave sighed and caught his breath. This time these was a small voice that could be heard on the right. “The sublime dog….” Dave knew it was Lars immediately. But what the hell did he just say? “Lars?!” Dave started running--well more like hopping through the waters. “OW-fu-”Dave’s foot rammed into the side of something and felt movement in response. He jumped, shocked, before looking down and seeing Lars writhing in obvious pain. “Oh god, Lars, are you ok?”
“The sublime dog,” he repeated, “the sublime dog.”
Dave nodded in understanding, before leaning down to examine his wounds. It was dark, but through the faint lights emanating from the deep he could notice a purplish-red welt on his calf. From his marine biology course and late nights of Nat Geo research, he immediately recognized it as a sea nettle sting. Dave quickly hoisted Lars up in the water and held him in his arms, princess-style. Lars blushed and nuzzled into Dave’s chest instinctively. “Ow…fuck…” He continued to writhe in pain against Dave’s chest. “It’s ok, we’ll see if they have an antivenom–”
“Lars? Shit, dude! You know we don’t have any antivenom!” Tommy yelled, making a disgusted “ew” sound as they walked closer and Lars’ wound was in full sight of everyone (fortunately, the other groups were far away, not really paying attention).
He was beyond embarrassed, even through his half-consciousness, and Tommy wasn’t helping matters. And of course the one thing they should have brought was gone.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me! You’re telling me on this entire cruise, there’s none?” Dave growled.
“No,” James interjected. “There is. But if that’s a sea nettle sting, we won’t have enough time to get him back on the boat and heal his wounds. However, if one of you is…” he coughed.
“Is?”
“If one of you is kind enough to–uh, urinate on him–it should hold him off ‘til we’re back on the boat.” Dave gently set Lars down onto the sand, ripped off his shirt and tied it like a bandana into his ginger locks. “Fuck this shit. I’m always doing other peoples dirty work.” Dave looked around at James and Tommy who were looking side to side anxiously ,minding their own business.
Lars looked up at Dave’s chiseled abs as Dave positioned himself by standing with his legs apart over the end of Lars’ ankles. He blushed and covered his eyes as dave unzipped his patterned levi’s. “I-it might sting.” Dave said biting his cheek stubbornly. Why the fuck was he gonna piss on this-um-guy..? Shit. Dave should not be feeling the start of a boner. He took a deep breath. After gathering all his manhood and sexual maturity he calmed himself and felt a small warm drip fall to Lars’ skin. “OW! HOLY WACKAMOLE DAVID SCOTT MUSTAINE!” Lars screeched in pain but he couldn't help by seeing this as some sort of intimate moment. At this point Tommy and James had been too disturbed to watch this any longer so they packed up and headed back to camp for the night. James did NOT get the good writing down he wanted to tonight. This experience also made James feel much better about his unique looking penis after seeing Dave’s.
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After Dave had successfully reduced the swelling of Lars’ wound, he gathered up their things and sent Lars off to tell the ship’s doctor.
“And he peed on you?” House asked him, raising an eyebrow inquisitively.
“Yeah um It was pleasant after a whi- I MEAN it hurt really bad, doc. Is there anything you can do?”
“Pleasant?” He sighed. Lars nervously looked away — some things are better left unsaid. “And yes, but you’re gonna have to wait until Loopy lets us back on the ship.”
Lars thought for a moment and then said thank you to Dr. House and started on his way back to the beach with a new bandaid covering the sting. He figured he should check on Dave did he like- make it weird? He didn’t want to upset him. Though, if he was being honest, he definitely felt something other than pain in that moment. Maybe it was time to just let the cat out of the bag.
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“I’m never doing anything like that again, Lars. Don’t go around saying ‘the sublime dog’ unless you want me to freak out again.” It was Dave ,with his bare muscular back to Lars ,sitting on the beach looking towards the night. “I’m sorry I just got scared and I didn't know what to do and-and..” Dave put his hand out behind his back,and without looking grabbed hold of Lars’ hand. Lars had this habit of putting his hands out when talking about something stressful, and Dave was probably the only person that knew this.
“D-Dave…?” Lars asked, clearly taken aback. Instead, Dave said nothing and stood up still holding Lars’ hand behind him. Suddenly Lars got swung around so he met Dave’s eyes and his feet were slightly touching the water. Dave embraced him into a warm hug. “You really scared me, I felt almost as bad as I did when destiny's child stopped releasing music. Lars Ulrich I really hate you.” Lars pushed out of the hug. “I’m sorry Dave, I know I'm irresponsible and I should've been better. You might hate me,but i’d still like to be friends.”
“Lars thats what I fuckin hate. I hate you as a friend.” dave planted his hands on both of Lars’ shoulder blades and leaned his face in the crook of his neck. “Dave?” Lars shivered a bit under Dave’s sudden movement.
Dave didn’t say anything, and Lars could feel him take a deep breath: he was about to drop a bomb. “I-is something wrong?” He asked, gently setting a hand on Dave’s back and patting it considerately. “N-no its nothing. Forget it.” Dave backed away from Lars and covered his mouth ,like he just did something terribly wrong.
“Come on, just say it. You can’t do that,” if it was anything Lars was hoping for, he would prefer it to be said now. “I’m not gonna hate you for anything, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Shit, Lars, I feel like an immature school girl when I'm around you. I just don’t know how to say it.” Dave fidgeted with his fingers.
“You don’t have to say it. I’m not forcing you.”
“Would you be okay if I said it in a different way then?” Dave stared at Lars deeply. “Whatever you feel comfortable with, I mean sure I want to know what it is that's got you so worked up, but I won't push it.”
Before Lars could yap on any longer Dave pulled him in by the neck of his shirt into a feverish kiss.
END OF CHAPTER ONE