Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was bound to happen. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up once again. This wasn’t even the first time Felix had forgotten about him, leaving him hopeless and abandoned in his cold dorm while he went out and had fun with his crew. Right now, he was probably (definitely) warming up some bird’s ear with god-knows-what blubber that will end on a mindless fuck, she wouldn’t even cum, and he would look at her through his long lashes while telling her some bullshit about having to study in the morning. They would always leave tear-faced but somehow came back every single time for more. That was Felix. An addiction that will have you reaching each time for your fix, even if it was just a couple of pleasurable, tortuous, seconds. But it was always worth it, those seconds, if only to grasp the sun with the tip of your fingers.

So, what fun was he either way? Always weird little Ollie that freaked everyone out with his never landing jokes. Oxfam Ollie, that had to abstain from drinking another round because he couldn’t pay for the shots. Oliver the creep that was more of Felix’s shadow than a human being, never making eye contact even if he yearned for it, never saying more than two words because they always got caught up in his throat. If anything, his only use was getting Felix to his dorm safe and sound after he was hammered and became the hottest blackout drunk that had ever stepped foot at Oxford.

He wiped another tear that was threatening to ruin his never-ending essay. If he was good at anything it had to be schoolwork, which only contributed to him being the lamest person ever. It made him even angrier that he couldn’t concentrate on his assignment right now. If he was going to be completely useless to Felix tonight, then at least he could be finishing his paper. Stupid, stupid, stupid Oliver.

The thing is, he understood why Felix was embarrassed to show him around often. He saw his awkward smile when people made fun of him, always laughing it off and changing the topic as if it made him uncomfortable. Oliver made him uncomfortable. And he knew embarrassment when he saw it. He recognized when Felix got ashamed of him, and it still hurt every time he got that uneasy smile from him.

He scratched his upper thigh once again through the cotton pajama pants. It helped him focus and relief some tension.

“I don’t want to appear entitled and say I told you so but…” Oliver sniffed, and Michael laughed, that high-pitched awful laugh of his, made him want to tear his skin off and use it to feed the wolves.

Oliver didn’t know why he even called him. Thought having some company, even if it was the tosser of Michael Gavey, could help him get out of his head for a bit. Clearly, Michael just made the situation way worse.

“Aw come on Oliver, don’t be mad at me. I’m only making sure you become the academic weapon you were meant to be from the start. Without that twit that is. You know he’s only a distraction from your path of success, right?”

“Could you cut it off for a bit? ‘m trying to concentrate…” Michael scoffed and continued to work on his rubik’s cube. This was probably the trillionth time he had solved it tonight. He was so obnoxious it made Oliver’s hands tingle with annoyance. Annoyance that grew even stronger at the fact he was laying on his bed, with those goddamn shoes on, ruining the spot that he always left untouched for the times Felix stayed for the night. Ruining Felix’s smell, Felix’s body shape on the matress, Felix’s couple of hairs on the pillow. He was staining it all with his idiotic wool sweater and outdated pair of khakis.

“Concentrate? For christ sake Oliver, you’ve been working on one single paragraph for the past two hours. Even when my assignments are way more demanding than your silly essays, I managed to finish way before you. I think your little wanker has finally rotten your brain.”

He could easily reach for the envelope slitter. After all, it was beside his right hand, at least 5 centimetres away from the stapler. In one swift movement he could stab Michael on his jugular vein. Feel his pulse stop under his hands, his blood drain from his neck and taint his matress. It would be so warm and thick under his touch, leaving Michael pliant beneath him.

His index finger grazed the slitter, when suddenly they heard the door being knocked. It was a wonky replica of the “knock knock-knock-knock-knock, knock knock” pattern Felix always made when he appeared at Oliver’s door. It was so silly, his precious boy. Could recognize him even if it was only by his knocking, by the way his knuckles hit rhythmically the wooden surface.

“Ols! Are you awake? Fuck-” He tried to be silent, whisper-shouting his name considering the time, but a loud thump was heard on the hall. The sound of a giant losing the war against gravity (and its own limbs), falling backwards, seeking to reclaim its title as hero.

Michael laughed, finding amusing the situation that he found himself immersed in. “You have got to be pulling my leg. He couldn’t be more of a git.” Oliver tried to shush him, but he kept on reproducing that hideous howl.

“Ollie? Are you with someone?” He all but slurred his words.

“I’m busy Felix, please go home. We’ll talk in the morning.”

But that only seemed to rile Felix up even more. He started to knock violently on the door, and apparently got up on his feet again, since he was kicking the door too.

“Open up! Please? I’m serious.”

“Go away, you tosser.” Michael replied, confident as if he had the permission to talk to God.

“Oliver. Open the fucking door. I’m not fucking joking, Oliver. Now.” Felix ordered as if he was talking to the service of his house. As if he was the king and Oliver wasn't but a peasant, licking his feet. It made his mouth drool. 

Was it strange that he almost creamed his pants from that order alone?

Chapter Text

“Is Ollie coming tonight?” The question left him speechless. Definitely something he wasn’t expecting during “study time” at their self-proclaimed corner in the library. At most, it was a space they used for quick banter when it was raining outside, and they couldn’t have a smoke in the communal gardens.

“Dunno…Why?”

“He’s just cute, I guess. And he’s always a good laugh.” Good laugh are those horrid pink heels she wore for school, which in fact weren’t cute, Felix thought.

India stifled a laugh, giving Annabel a look of disbelief. “Are you seriously saying Oliver Quick is cute?”

“Not only cute, I would say he’s kinda fit behind that goody two shoes act.”

“Farleigh!” India giggled at him, always the shit stirrer.

“All I’m sayin’ is… If he wasn’t Felix’s little pet, I would totally give him a go”

“Enough Farls, it’s not funny.” Yeah, if Oliver was coming tonight to the pub, he was certainly not coming now. Were he not so peeved at Farleigh for talking rubbish, he would find the comment of Oliver being his pet quite… intriguing.

“I’m not joking.” He uttered in a careless manner, staring at his chipped nail varnish as if he didn’t have a care in the world. As if he wasn’t making Felix feel complete bonkers.

“Jesus Christ! Do me a favour and shut that trap already. Besides, he told me he can’t tonight. He must finish an essay or somethin’; I don’t really know” Did he lie? Not really. Okay, maybe just a smidge, but it might be true! Final exams were around the corner, and he knew Ollie always got anxious at this period of the semester; he was probably, no scratch that, undeniably working on some of his final papers. Breaking a sweat for them to be as meticulously academic as possible. Needn’t he more distractions, this was for his own good, really. Felix the kind-hearted soul he was, always seeking to help.

“Sure, leave your pet on its jail so we can’t play with it. Always the envious cousin, never sharing any of his toys. I’m telling you guys! Vee and I had it rough…” He sighed dramatically. As if! Felix was always so generous with them; he loved lending some of his toys. What was the matter if maybe, just maybe, the toys he shared were the ones he didn’t want to play with anymore? It’s the same charitable act at the end of the day. And Ollie was not his pet, nor his toy, didn’t matter if the thought made his pants tighten slightly.

“Whatever, keep acting like a brat. I don’t care.” He did care, but apparently, he had to be the grownup in this situation.

“It’s devastating really, I would have loved to have some fun with Ols. Heard he can do wonders with his mou- Ouch! India!” Farleigh exclaimed with a feline smile at the corners of his mouth. India just pretended she didn’t kick him hard on the shinbone, and turned her attention to Felix.

“So, Fiz, what was that movie you were so excited to tell us about?”

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

The alcohol was crap, leaving a strong aftertaste on his tongue he was brutishly trying to chase away with a warm coke he stole from Annabel. The music was dire, beat after messy beat that made absolutely no sense and that couldn’t even be used for a good grind. The air was dense with people’s sweat and pheromones, everyone desperate for getting laid, even if it meant going home with the most mediocre person at the pub. All that mattered was the urgent look on their faces and the nasty words slurring past their mouths. Even India, whom he always used as part of his secure-shag-rotating-circle, was getting on his nerves.

“I love this song, let’s go dance!” She grabbed his hand and tried to pull him up. He was so sure that she didn’t even knew the song, but it was obvious on her tone that she was bored, interesting enough as they were the only two people from their friend group that have been sitting all night.

“Is this necessary?”

“Oh, come on, don’t be such a drag. I know you want to, you’ve been eyeing me all night.” She turned away making her way into the crowd as Felix tried his best to bite back a laugh.  Whatever, maybe dancing with India will make this shite of a night less of a wank.

Five minutes in and he proved that statement to be utterly wrong. He was just not feeling it. She had been all but grinding her ass up his front for the past couple of songs, taking turns to look at him through her fake lashes. She was so sure she was being sensual. But he was as excited as a bag of frozen peas. Felix tried feeling her tits through the sheer dress she was wearing, but he might as well be touching some grass. She turned, once again, whispering some nonsense that he could not care less about, and suddenly her glossy lips were on his, giving him the wettest, stickiest, grossest make out session he had ever received. Everything felt wrong. From the way she was much taller than he preferred, to the way her boobs were completely smashing his chest (believe it or not, it was just not doing it for him), to her being all soft and mushy and expecting him to take complete control of the situation, even if she was the one looking for this. It was all so lame, so repetitive, monotonous and grey. He needed something more, or rather someone.

“Let’s go back to yours and…”

“Farls, you said you wanted another round? This one’s on me!” She whirled around looking for Farleigh, but she saw no one.

One hour or so later Felix was as wasted as a pint glass at last orders. He found himself nodding at whatever words people kept throwing at him, not caring the slightest bit. Why was suddenly everyone so… not interesting? He swore if Oliver was here, everything would be different. He’s just so clever with his words, always knowing the right thing to say, always making the funniest jokes possible with that serious expression on his face that gave him shivers. He would make him laugh until his tummy hurts and then stare him down intensely as if he was complete bonkers and he didn’t know why he was laughing so hard. And then they would play that little game of theirs, where Felix touched his shoulder, then his knee, then positioned his hand on his upper thigh and left it there the whole night, Ollie just responding with a dimpled smile as if everything was as platonic as ever. Just two boys being boys… And when he was about to shift his hand just somewhat higher, Oliver suddenly turned to him and dared him to choose a girl. A choice destined to be made by an “eeny meeny miny moe” game. As if to prove Felix’s power over people. To prove that he controlled the crowd wherever he went, but Oliver could control him just as easily. It always thrilled him, it felt private to them and obscene, it certainly helped him chase that high he needed for a good hook up.

At that moment he knew just what he needed to end the night. Or maybe not precisely. He just knew he needed that rush to function. That rush that only one person could provide to him.

Chapter Text

“Oliver. Open the fucking door. I’m not fucking joking, Oliver. Now.”

The pounding on the door got heavy, sluggish, almost disinterested, as if he knew Oliver would follow wholeheartedly every one of his orders, follow them like prayers. And he would, every time. Kneel down for Felix, crawl on his hands and knees just for a meager glimpse of him, lick the sweat from his shirts after a night out had left them filthy. He would eat from his hand, speak only when he’s told, let him mark him whenever and however he wanted to.

“Jesus Christ! Who does that twat think he is. Your mother?” Michael scratched his back, having no intend of moving from his now acclaimed spot on the bed. Felix’s spot. Oliver bit his lower lip until he tasted blood.

“Michael, could you just-”

“No because he’s not kidding. Does he believe you are his property or something? Oh god Oliver, didn’t know he was psycho like that, I swear those rich assholes think that everything, everyone, belongs to them. How can you deal with such-”

“Shut the fuck up Michael!” Oliver raised from his former sitting place, pointing an accusatory finger at the asshole that was imprinting on his life without consent. “Just…just… Go. I’ll talk to you in the morning, but please, for the love of God, leave my fucking dorm.” He took Michael’s ‘vintage’ jacket, which hung at the back of the chair he was previously sited, and gestured desperately to the door. Only one wooden surface separating him from water, from oxygen, from shelter.

“Well, if that’s how you will pay for my friendship then, go ahead. Let him treat you like a dog, that’s alright.” Standing up like a cat, stretching in the laziest manner possible, what was he doing? Extend his last seconds with Oliver to get on his nerves? As if he wasn’t almost nauseous with anticipation, to prove that this wasn’t a hallucination caused by his lack of FelixFelixFelix.

After what seemed to last decades, Michael finally opened the door.

There he was, in all his grace. Oliver might as well cry from relief, he could finally breathe again. The lightning from the hall made it seem as if he was the owner of a halo, in the manner of an angel’s wings. The condensed black from his pupils chased away the night’s trail, and with it lingered the remains of liquor.

Felix laughed, just a slight puff of air that flowed through his nose. It didn’t reach his eyes. “And can someone please explain to me who the hell is this Muppet?” His gaze was dancing erratically between Michael and Oliver.

“Oh, come on, like we don’t see Public Health together two times a week. And, by the way, I’m Ollie’s best friend, who are you?” Oh.

Felix grabbed the doorframe. His nails engraved a pattern on the old wood. “You did not just say that.”

“Say what? The truth?” He smirked, as though he just won the prize for being the most idiotic human being in the world.

“Michael please…” He tried to whisper, save him from his miserable destiny.

“If you don’t shut that nasty gob of yours this instant-” A vein popped on his neck. Oliver wanted to tear it down with his teeth and suck on his blood till he was empty.

“What will you do? Call your daddy so he takes care of this?”

Felix smiled at him. A smile he had never seen before. It carried the weight of madness, of anguish, sculpted by Thanatos. In one swift movement he decked Michael’s nose, breaking the cartilage and painting his face red. Oliver Gasped, covering his face with trembling hands, trembling from excitement. Michael fell to the floor.

Felix stared at his own hand and shrugged; his attention now driven towards Oliver. He still held that dark gaze that made him look like a lunatic. Oliver had never been more turned on in his life.

“Ew.” He pointed with his chin at Michael’s jacket that was hanging by Oliver’s arm, grabbing it with his good hand and wiping the remaining blood he had from the bastard’s nose. He threw the jacket at him and pushed Oliver inside his dorm. The door was closed with a thump by his left foot.

“I leave you alone for one night. One night, Oliver. And you, what, find me some cheap replacement on that freak? Are you serious?” He approached Oliver slowly, a predator silently eyeing his prey, cornering it in its own environment.

“Replacement? Felix I-”

“No, don’t you dare lie to me. Where the fuck did he come from, under a rug?” Never had he seen him like this, rage exuding from his skin, sizzling outdoors. It frightened him. It electrified him.

“He’s a friend from-”

Felix laughs “No. No, no, no, no. He clearly isn’t your friend. Is he Ols? He is your best friend.”

“Why are you so riled up Felix? It’s not as if you care.” Suddenly he stopped reaching for him, his limbs became rigid, almost as if now the predator was being chased by the prey.

“So now I don’t care?”

“Uh-huh.” He exhaled a breath, wanted to pull Felix back in, even if it meant he was the bait about to be eaten.

“Care to explain where on God’s earth did you came to that conclusion?” One step closer. Please, please.

“You ignored me all day. Didn’t invite me tonight either…” His face contorted, acting like the biggest victim ever, he even shed a tear just to look at that delicious guilt on Felix’s face.

“Wh- I didn’t ignore you! I was just…was just busy! And tonight? You wouldn’t even want to come, it was shite anyway, you can’ be mad at me for that. I did you a favor!” He turned away from Oliver, tried to walk away from the obvious lie he blurted. But that wouldn’t do, he would rather die than let Felix walk away from him. He gripped his arm, nails digging on skin, pulling out the sweetest gasp from that mouth of his. Oliver swept him easily, shocking him with this ‘newfound’ strength. It was always so sweet how he perceived him to be this small and gentle creature, so unaware of their reality.

“Stop bullshitting me Felix, I know why you didn’t want me there. I’m just an embarrassment to your friend group. It’s fine, already made peace with it. But for Christ’s sake stop pretending, what I can never accept is your pity.” He squeezed his arm again. This time with more force, emphasizing his point, making him swallow hard. Was he enjoying this as much as him? Or was he just scared? Either option made him shiver, a long cold thrill going down his spine.

“Ollie no, no you don’t understand, believe me it’s not like that!” A stride closer, Oliver retreated, the back of his knees hitting his bed, making him chase, capture, coaxing him into thinking he was the one preying.

“Just go home Felix, I’m tired. You don’t have to give me any explanations. I understand.” However, he didn’t make any move to leave, if anything, he grasped his arm even harder.

“Ollie stop! I’m not going anywhere, please…”

“What I don’t understand is, if I embarrass you so much, then why keep coming back? Just let me go, even if it hurts me, it hurts me more you being insincere.”

“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! Ols, I didn’t invite you because I was jealous, okay?”

“Jealous?” He released his arm, didn’t know what to do with this information floating on the surface. This was too much, too real, couldn’t do anything but look away. Those black eyes so intense, left him breathless.

“Yes! Fucking jealous! Annabel said you were cute and… and fucking Farleigh kept making these stupid comments about how he would love to fuck you. It just… made my blood boil with anger. They can’t have you, you know that, right? They can’t have you Ols…” Felix grabbed Olivers chin hard, forced him to look back at him. He could feel their breaths mixing, converting into the elixir of life, made him want to drink it whole.

“W-what do you mean?”

“I mean that you are fucking mine, okay? Get that into your skull. Burn it in your memory. You belong to me, not to Farleigh, not to Annabel, and definitely not to that twit of a muppet. Mine, Ollie. Mine.” Felix stared at his lips like a lion stared at a deer’s flesh. When he licked them, confirming what was really going on between them, Felix’s pupils dilated.

“Prove it then.” Felix huffed a breath and pushed him into the bed, his back hitting the mattress hard, a spasm of pain erupted from it. His dick twitched, aching in his pants.

“Is this what you wanted all along? Having me on your bed, begging? Hm?” He grinded down hard on his front. Only once. A moan emitted from his throat he didn’t know he was holding. Oliver tried to grind himself against the hardness he felt on his thigh, but Felix held him with a firm grip into the mattress.

“Answer me, Oliver.”

“Please.” His eyes watered, his dick was throbbing, didn’t even know if he would last, or cream his pants like a teenager.

“Fuck, you get me so…” He groaned, grinding once again, this time onto his thigh. It sent shivers through his whole body, his back curving like a bow for Felix, in search of contact and warmth.

“Off, off off off” Felix whispered on his ear while trying to get rid of his pajama pants. Oliver shook his hands away and got rid of them, throwing them carelessly away. When he tried to unbutton Felix’s own trousers, he gripped his wrist and shook his head.

“Boxers.” His boxers got taken away from him in an instant. The coldness of air made him shiver, his dick hitting his stomach with an impulse. Felix eyed him, looked in a trance, unable to move, until his right hand reached to touch. Oliver gasped, hips moving unvoluntary to chase the heat. Felix’s heat. Fuck.

“So wet already. How bad do you want this, Ols?” His thumb cleaned his precome from his tip, made him shake with want, hand gripping his base firmly.

“So bad, so so so so… Felix.” A tear escaped his eye, he tried to think about anything but Felix, tried to last longer for him.

“Yeah? Well then…” He grasped him hard until it hurt, then released with a cocky smile. “Shirt off.” Finally, Felix got him completely naked under him. It felt obscene, the contrast of clothing grinding against nakedness.

Felix moved onto his neck and started sucking, biting, drawing blood that he later licked and swallowed. “Mine.” He whispered, repeatedly, and moved down into his chest. Kissed, licked, sucked, bit, left all kinds of marks, claiming what belonged to him. “Mine, mine, mine” He started grinding continuously, his hardness rubbing against him, chaffing him with his clothed dick. Marking even his own cock with the harshness of his movements and the raspy surface of his trousers. Felix was primal, groaning, eyes closed, repeating “mine” as a mantra, hurting Oliver with his own roughness. He almost came right there. He continued down his stomach. His nails scratched every corner of his skin, engraving his name all over Oliver.

Suddenly he opened his eyes and looked up at him, his beautiful wet lashes making his eyes look even bigger, darker, feral. He took one of his nipples into his mouth, sucking as hard as he could and reached for his other nipple with his hand grasping simultaneously. His tongue started to move, in and out, in and out, breathing hard through his nose, hips grinding over his own hard on desperately, animal-like.

“Holy shit Fe- Agh!” He screamed when Felix bit his nipple so hard he ripped skin, blood painting his mouth scarlet, beautiful. Oliver came hard on Felix’s jeans, painting them as proof of his own devotion. His hips moved erratically through the spasms of pleasure, never had he come this hard in his life. Static rang noisily though his ears, his limbs tingled, his head floated through multiple sensations. When he tried to open his eyes, he saw Felix grouping his come in one finger and sucking it like he did to those cherry lollies he loved to taste. His cum mixing with the blood on his lips made him see stars.

Suddenly he was on him again, grinding once, twice, repeated times, groaning and cussing violently. Breathing hard all over his neck, like a dog. Using Oliver’s unresponsive body to reach his high.

As he finally recovered from his orgasm, he placed his hand inside Felix’s trousers, searching for the hardness inside of them. However, when Felix felt his hand touching him, his hips moved once unconsciously, and then retracted harshly, opening his eyes.

“Oh shit, look at the time.” There wasn’t a single clock in sight. He jumped away from Oliver, as if it burned. A tent evident on his stained jeans. “Erm, I´ve gotta wake up early.” Moving fitfully, scanning the room for his shoes.

“What?”             

Victory. He got both his shoes in his left hand. “Sorry mate, y’know finals and stuff…” Felix reached for the door’s handle.

“Felix wait-” The door opened and closed abruptly, leaving his dorm cold and empty, leaving Oliver naked on his bed.

At that moment, Oliver felt like Icarus, approaching too close to the sun, hands grasping greedy with need. Until his wings burned, melting away, carrying with them the premonition of death.