Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Bright lights. A gun in her face. A firelight, perched on the end of the barrel. Explosions.

Caitlyn awoke to the sounds of a struggle. Someone was screaming, fighting against restraints. Rattling metal echoed through the darkness.

Then, blinding light. First, it was directed at her, but then it swung away. It took a moment for her vision to clear. When it did, she found herself to be in some sort of laboratory. She was cold. The air felt damp and heavy, and it smelled of rot and chemicals. Her entire body ached. There was so much pain that it was hard to discern exactly where she had been injured. Parts of her burned while other parts were disconcertingly numb.

When she tried to move, Caitlyn found that she was restrained, strapped to some sort of table. Not only were her arms and legs bound, but her head was also trapped under a leather strap. Fear struck her. She didn't know where she was and she couldn't remember how she had gotten there. Everything hurt, and she couldn't move. In a panic, she thrashed against the restraints. This was a terrible mistake.

Sharp pains radiated out from the points where strained against the straps. Except for where it didn't, and she could feel nothing at all. Sensation started and stopped at various points all over her body. She realized she couldn't move some of the fingers on her left hand. Caitlyn groaned and grit her teeth as anxiety blossomed in her stomach, making her feel nauseous on top of everything else.

They had been taking Ekko across the bridge. Her and Vi. There was a barricade. Marcus was there. He… had pointed a gun at her. There were firelights everywhere. One landed on the barrel.

And then everything exploded.

Caitlyn tried to cry out, but her mouth was dry and her throat burned and her voice came out a hoarse rasp, like the sound of someone on their deathbed. She swallowed over and over, desperate to wet her throat and find her voice. But before she could make her own noise, she heard someone else screaming and gasping for breath. The noises came from her left, where the light was. The strap over her forehead was just loose enough for her to turn her head, but it felt like every muscle in her neck was tearing as she tried to look for the source of the noises. As she moved her head, it felt everything inside her skull fell to the side, throbbing pain radiating out through her crainium. She screwed her eyes shut and hissed as the demonic child of a hangover and a migraine hammered against her forehead.

“Vi?” said someone, their voice barely above a whisper.

Caitlyn's eyes flew open. Was Vi here? Had she also been hurt in the explosion?

“No, no, no! NO!” the voice cried out, followed by desperate sobs.

“I understand this must be painful,” said a softer, calmer voice. A man.

“NO!”

“I’m afraid it will only get worse.”

The screaming voice echoed through the room, chanting “no” over and over with increasing terror. The sound only worsened the pain inside Caitlyn's skull and made her heart pound in her chest. With the last bit of strength she could muster, Caitlyn forced her head all the way to the side and gasped.

Beside her, strapped to an operating table in a similar manner to herself, was Jinx. A slim, bald man stood over her, pressing the plunger on a device that held multiple vials of shimmer, pushing the drug into her arm. Purple flooded her veins, running up her arm and across her entire body, pulsing with light and throbbing with such intensity that they inflated into a web of swollen ridges running across Jinx's body. She convulsed on the table, thrashing against the restraints and screaming bloody murder, spit flying as the shimmer ran through her.

Caitlyn had seen photos of this effect in training and caught glimpses of the deformed addicts in the fringes of the undercity, but she had never seen the process itself carried out in front of her. This couldn’t be what it was normally like. She couldn’t imagine anyone willingly doing this to themselves.

“L-let her go,” Caitlyn croaked. She still couldn’t manage enough saliva to moisten her mouth. “Stop… stop it!”

The man looked over his shoulder at her.

“Ah, you’re awake,” he said, ignoring Jinx’s desperate pleas for help.

Jinx’s body was still spasming under the restraints at the drug tore through her. Despite everything Jinx had done, Caitlyn didn’t think she deserved whatever was happening to her. This was a pain she wouldn't wish on her worst enemies. She wanted to help her. She always wanted to help.

“Who… are you? What are you doing… to Jinx?”

“I don’t think you’re in a position to be interrogating me, Miss Kiramman,” said the man, stepping towards her. “But if you’d like to know more about the procedure… Let’s just say I’m saving her life.” He paused, looking her over. “Would you like me to save yours?”

Ah, so she was dying. It didn’t really surprise her. Everything hurt too much, even her insides. Either that, or she couldn't feel anything at all. Her head was pounding to the point that it was beginning to affect her vision. She was struggling to breathe, each inhale rasping and rattling inside her chest. Her lungs felt like they were resisting the air.

Caitlyn wanted nothing to do with the man, but she couldn’t cough up a response to him. Everything was getting darker, colder. Her body hurt more and less at the same time.

“Ah, well. Why not give myself another test subject? I’m not even sure why they brought you here.”

The man stepped back into the darkness, and Caitlyn could hear him drawing liquid from something. Just as she felt she was about to slip away, he reappeared over her, glowing purple vials in hand.

Caitlyn had thought she couldn’t speak, but some primal instinct welled up in her chest and forced out the word “no” over and over as fast as her lips would allow. She used the last of her energy to struggle fruitlessly against the restraints. She could still see Jinx across from her. The girl was unconcious, but her body still shook and spasmed as her veins lit up like fireworks. Caitlyn's eyes flicked up to the man. She did everything she could to move away from the syringe, but there was nothing she could do. She was battered and broken and lying on death's door.

The man pressed the needle into her left arm and pushed the plunger.

Caitlyn’s world lit up in the worst way possible. She screamed until her throat was raw. She thrashed about, unable to control her movements as her body tensed and seized and convulsed. The real world melted away. The last thing Caitlyn saw was Jinx, suffering just as she was.

Then, Caitlyn saw everything and anything—Jinx, herself, her parents, Vi, Jayce, Grayson, Marcus. Marcus, pointing a pistol in her face. Her father, teaching her how to hold a rifle. Her mother, reprimanding her for her actions. Grayson, holding her shot.

The images flashed through her mind in rapid succession, and the people started to blur together and change places as they repated. Marcus, teaching her how to hold a rifle. Her mother, pointing a pistol at her. Grayson, reprimanding her for her actions.

Jinx, holding her shot.

Caitlyn’s eyes screwed shut, trying to make the visions stop, but they continued to flash past under her eyelids as she felt like her body was being ripped apart. She was letting Vi out of jail. She was talking to the beautiful girl in the brothel. She was waiting for Jayce in the rain.

She was letting Jinx out of jail. She was talking to Jinx in the brothel. She was waiting for Jinx in the rain.

Her head whipped from side to side but stayed held down by the leather strap. Just as she felt like her body had stopped breaking down, she felt a sharp pain as the man shoved another needle into her arm and the cycle began anew.

Caitlyn couldn’t be sure if she was ever unconscious because the visions didn’t stop. She watched her life play out before her eyes like a cheap parody of itself, putting the wrong people in the wrong places. Memories looped over and over, populating with different faces each time. Mother, father, Vi, Grayson, Marcus, Jayce, Jinx, the girl from the brothel, the girl she had her first kiss with, her favorite instructor from the enforcer academy. People she had no names for passed before her eyes, invading some of the most private moments of her life. Voices overlapping, everyone talking, yelling over each other until the sound was incomprehensible. Though she couldn't discern what was being said, she somehow knew they were all yelling at her.

When it was finally over, her eyes flew open and the noise ceased. She was unnerved by how quiet it was, feeling the absence of the chaos that had been raging inside her for gods know how long. She could’ve heard a pin drop. She did hear water dripping.

Caitlyn made a sudden, jerking movement as if she had expected the restraints to still be in place, but instead she shot upright with inappropriate momentum, almost flinging herself off of the table. She coughed and ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth (which tasted terrible), trying to conjure up enough spit to speak properly. Still, when she finally opened her mouth, her voice was rough and low, as if she had been sick.

“Where the hell am I?”

She surveyed her surroundings. Before her was a dimly lit laboratory that seemed to have been carved out of a cave. Underground. The undercity. Buzzing lights burned overhead, barely illuminating the space. Directly to her left was a rusted operating table—empty.

Jinx. Jinx was gone.

Caitlyn moved to get off the table, expecting to hurt all over, but she was startled when she felt nothing out of place at all. She got on her feet without issue, moved all of her limbs without pain. She looked down at herself. Her gloves had been removed at some point, and she was covered in dirt and debris. From the explosion, she reminded herself.

Something was off. Even in the low, sickly green lights, her arms didn’t look right. They were unusually pale. Caitlyn wasn’t exactly tanned, but she had a healthy glow. The hands before her looked like that of a corpse, and where there should have been wounds, there were only a few light scars.

Her eyes darted around the room. Off to the far left, there was a long counter with a sink and a mirror. She rushed over to it and found her feet moving much faster than she anticipated, crashing into the counter and rattling the various medical instruments sat atop it. The speed at which she moved was jarring.

The lights were low, but it didn’t take much for Caitlyn to see that something was very, very wrong. Desaturated, nigh translucent skin revealed branching strands of deep, dark veins around her eyes, which seemed like they had sunken into her face. She always had sharp cheekbones—it was a known Kiramman trait—but now she looked gaunt and unwell.

But the worst was her eyes. Once more, she was confronted with something she had learned about in the academy, though this was also something she had seen many times in life. After all, identifying the telltale signs of drug use was a core part of being an enforcer.

Her eyes were a vibrant, glowing pink. Like someone who had taken shimmer.

“No, no, no, no, no… No, no, no, no!”

How could she go home like this? These were blatant signs of shimmer use. Kiramman or no, she would be arrested on the spot.

A disgrace upon our name.

Her mother’s voice.

Caitlyn shut her eyes and shook her head, as if that would fix the problem. But when she opened them, the perversion of her own face stared back at her. She brought her hands to her cheeks, pressing and pulling at the skin. No matter what she did, nothing changed.

At least, nothing changed externally. Internally, she became painfully aware of a buzzing sensation under her skin, like a current of electricity running through her veins. This quickly turned into an itching feeling, accompanied by random, sharp pricks. Like someone was trying to push needles out through her skin. She scratched at her arm and found herself twitching uncontrollably as she did, jolts of energy coursing through her limbs and causing small spasms.

Her terror turned to frustration, and frustration to anger. Anger that boiled in her stomach until it began to bubble up and overflow, filling her entire body with white hot rage. She gnashed her teeth together and growled as she dug her nails into her left arm until she drew blood.

“Miss Kiramman! I see you’re awake.”

Her entire body whipped around before she could even make the decision to turn to face the voice. It was the bald man. She could now see he was wearing a mask over the lower half of his face. What she could see of the upper part was halfway marred by burn scars.

“What the fuck did you do to me?” she snapped.

“I recall the members of your house having much better manners in the past,” he said, ignoring her question. “Are you feeling alright?”

“NO!” she roared, startling herself. She stepped back in an attempt to get away from the sound of her own voice.

The man laughed, though his tone was indecipherable. He spoke in such a neutral manner that Caitlyn couldn’t figure out his angle—and it was just pissing her off even more. Her hand flew down to grip the counter beside her, and the metal buckled under her fingers.

“What. The fuck. Did you do to me?” she asked again through gritted teeth.

“I saved your life.”

“Bullshit!”

He tipped his head to the side. “If I had done nothing, you would be dead. Ergo, I am the reason you are alive.”

“What is wrong with me?” Spit flew from her mouth as she flung the words at him.

He sighed. “The same thing that went wrong with Jinx, it seems. Valuable results, nonetheless, but this version of the serum still seems too unstable. Not that I expected it to be perfect.”

“Jinx? Where is Jinx?”

He waved dismissively. “She left. Silco soon after. I was worried I might have gotten to you too late, Miss Kiramman.”

The itching, the prickles, the tense energy coursing through her. It was too much. A sensory overload. This man was making her so angry, she could just—

He took a step towards her. The sound was quiet, but terribly loud in her ears, and it snapped her out of her thoughts. She was scared by how fast she reacted to things. That the slightest noise would send her into fight or flight mode…

“Am I correct in assuming that your new outlook on life isn’t agreeing with you, Miss Kiramman?”

She winced. “Tell me what you’ve done to me. Now.”

“If you must know the details, I’ve injected you with a new variant of shimmer that I developed. It’s a particularly potent mix, capable of healing life-threatening wounds.”

“I got that, just…” Caitlyn winced again and pressed a hand to her forehead. She was so angry that she could hardly think straight. “How long does it last?”

He laughed, and this time it seemed genuine.

“Oh, Miss Kiramman. It lasts forever.”

His words slammed into her like a blow to the gut. Anger was superseded by fear. She held her head in her hands and stumbled backwards.

“No… No no no… I can’t… I have to… I can’t be… this!” She threw her arms in front of her, staring at her open palms. “I… I—”

A soft clinking sound interrupted. Her eyes darted towards the man. His arm was outstretched, dangling a glass bottle half-filled with pills.

“These might be of use to you,” he said, waving the bottle before pulling it back to hold it closer to his face. “My own special concoction, made to help with the side effects of the procedure. They won’t fix how you look, but they’ll make you feel better.”

She lunged towards him, but he stepped back, clutching the bottle to his chest.

“Ah ah ah! You see, Miss Kiramman, I’m the only person who knows how to make these, and right now, I’m holding the only batch that exists—a mere two weeks’ supply.”

“Spit it out, bastard.”

He rolled the bottle along his palm.

“If you want to feel better, you can’t kill me. Because if I die, there’ll be no one to treat your… condition.”

Caitlyn balled her hands into fists, anger threatening to boil over yet again. Just as her thoughts started to rage, she forced herself to snap out of it and did her best to evaluate the situation with a calm mind.

Every bone in her body wanted her to brutalize his man and desecrate his corpse, but she couldn’t do that. In no world would that be helpful to her cause. If anything, she needed him alive even without his promise of medication—he was evidence of what had happened to her. If she had any hope of ever making it home, she would need him to explain what he had done to her. Otherwise, no one would believe her. She’d look like she went underground, took a wrong turn, and gotten hooked on illicit substances. Clearly not in her right mind anymore.

Not fit to be part of this family.

“Gods, shut up!” she hissed. “Fine. Please, just give them to me.”

Caitlyn pressed a fist against her forehead and shuffled towards the man. The buzzing was inside her skull now, reverberating through her head and making it hard to tell what was in her mind and what was real. She kept hearing her mother’s voice.

The man handed her the bottle. She immediately ripped it open, grasping for a single pill with trembling fingers. She threw it into her mouth and swallowed it dry.

The effect was nearly instant. The physical sensations subsided. She stopped twitching. Her mind quieted. She was able to think. To breathe. To collect herself and her thoughts, and assess the situation properly.

There was a small tag tied around the neck of the bottle. 2X per day. 1 morn, 1 night.

A two week supply. She looked past the bottle at the man.

“What’s your name?”

He was quiet for a moment. “People have taken to calling me Singed.”

On account of the burns, no doubt.

“Are you going to keep me here?”

“I couldn’t if I wanted to—and I don’t. You are free to leave, Miss Kiramman.”

She was stunned. This man would deign to pump her full of experimental drugs and then let her walk free? He wasn’t even interested in trying to detain her? What had he wanted out of all this? The sick satisfaction of tormenting young women?

As if he could see the gears in her head turning, he said, “I could have let you die, but, you see, I once had a daughter myself. You caught me in a moment of rare compassion.” He looked her over. “I don’t seek your gratitude, nor do I need anything from you but your word that you won’t try to harm me. If that’s agreeable, I will prepare more medication for you every fortnight.”

Caitlyn wanted so badly to bargain with him, make some kind of offer to swing this in her favor. But she had nothing. Less than nothing. No way home, and nowhere to go. If she went without the pills, she would surely lose her mind within a matter of days.

“You have my word,” she said.

“Good. Enjoy the rest of your day, Miss Kiramman.”

Singed gestured towards a door behind her, and she left quickly, desperate to get out of that makeshift operating room. She emerged into another cave, though this one was much more natural. There was a pool of water in the center, and glowing mushrooms dotting the walls. A few different tunnels led out of it, but the easiest to access would be the one from which the water flowed downwards. Caitlyn pocketed the bottle of pills and moved forward.

She followed the winding stream up and up until she felt wind and smelled rain. She picked up her pace, jogging and hopping over rocks. In just a few minutes, the sky was in sight.

Rain fell, pitter-pattering against the stone walls of the ravine she stood in. High, high in the distance, she could see Piltovian rooftops jutting above those of the less fortunate on this side of the river.

She was so relieved to be free that she hadn’t realized she had nowhere to go, and she didn’t know where any of her allies were. For all she knew, Ekko and Vi were dead, blown to bits by the firelight bombs. She was not one for praying, but she did speak one in that moment, hoping that they had survived.

She clambered up the sides of the ravine, exiting onto undercity streets. She couldn’t cross the bridge, but she could take a good look at it. Survey the damage.

Caitlyn scaled buildings, getting herself as close to the river as possible while still staying out of enforcer sightlines.

Her vision felt sharper, as if she could see further than she could before. The barricades were still in place, enforcers still patrolling the bridges. Certainly, the bombing had only worsened things in that department. And Marcus must have also died. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him to be alive or not.

She stayed there, perched on an abandoned rooftop, watching her former comrades go about their patrols. She recalled Jayce’s visit, how her parents had her removed from the force. House Talis Security. A cruel joke.

The rain picked up, and Caitlyn was getting drenched, though she didn’t feel particularly cold. Sitting around in wet clothes was still uncomfortable, so she picked herself up.

Caitlyn took one last look across the river at the marble towers of Piltover, then descended into the undercity.

She remembered how Vi had moved about when she first followed her down. Running and leaping across rooftops. Caitlyn hadn’t been much good at it then, but something was scratching at her brain, telling her to give it another go. She leaned forward, then took a running start towards the edge of the roof.

Her body moved on its own, like it was doing all the work for her. She didn’t even have to think about when she needed to jump, or how high. She was just suddenly in the air, and it felt easy and natural. The same happened when she landed on the roof below, rolling out of her landing with the expertise of someone who had been doing this all her life.

It unnerved her. But she couldn’t stop. She let her body carry her down, down, down. Down to the Lanes.

Caitlyn hadn’t exactly gotten a lay of the land from following Vi around, but she had paid enough attention to remember where things were. She descended to the streets, no longer worried about anyone pegging her as an enforcer in the state she was in. As if she had even still been an enforcer when she first came down here.

Her first thought had been to seek out the Firelights, but she doubted they would be happy to see her. Especially not if Ekko was gone. They would probably revel in the irony of her current position before blaming her for his untimely death.

The only other place Caitlyn remembered fondly from her time with Vi was the brothel. Babette’s, she recalled, named after its Yordle owner. Vi had ditched her there, but she couldn’t deny that she had a good time. She blushed and shook her head. Not something she needed to be thinking about right now. Her instincts were telling her that if she had any chance of getting help down here, it would be from Babette.

Caitlyn went through the front door this time, knowing that the security wouldn’t let her through the back without Vi by her side. A buff, bald man with a handlebar mustache sat behind the front desk, which itself was behind iron bars. He did not greet her when she entered.

“I’d like to speak to Babette,” she said as calmly as she could muster.

His eyes narrowed. “She’s not taking meetings.”

“Please, it’s urgent.”

“I don’t know you. I’m certain Babette doesn’t know you.” He gave her a once over. “You look like shit, but something about you stinks. People don’t come ‘round here asking to talk to the Madame. Least, not marching right through the front door.”

Caitlyn was at a loss. “Look, I was here earlier this week with… a friend… and I spoke to her briefly, and I just wanted to ask her—”

The inner door swung open, and a slim woman in a mask poked her head through.

“Madame would like to see this one,” she said, beckoning Caitlyn to follow her.

The man behind the desk grumbled but did not waste any more of his energy on Caitlyn. She followed the masked woman into the brothel.

Babette’s office was on the bottom floor at the back of the building. Caitlyn had not actually gotten to go inside during her last visit. Babette was the one who had sought her out, informing her of Vi’s whereabouts and encouraging her to give chase. It was a kind act, something that Caitlyn hadn’t expected of anyone down here. A lot of things she hadn’t expected had happened since then.

The masked woman let the curtains over the door fall closed, leaving Caitlyn alone with the ancient Yordle woman.

“You’re Vi’s friend,” she said, taking a drag from her pipe. “Matilda.”

Caitlyn cleared her throat. “Caitlyn, actually.”

She waved dismissively. “I know who you are, Kiramman. Except you’re looking quite different today.”

Caitlyn looked down at her hands, at the dark veins hiding underneath her sallow skin. She wrung them together like she was washing her hands, trying to scrub away the unfamiliarity. Doing her best to keep her calm, Caitlyn explained everything to Babette to the best of her ability. There was a lot she still didn’t grasp, but she understood the hard truths of her situation.

She couldn’t go back up topside. She was stuck here. She needed Singed to supply her with pills. She needed a place to stay. She needed to find a way to fix things.

Babette listened patiently, nodding every now and then.

“Singed… I know very little of him, but I have heard the name. People say he works for Silco, but every other rumor I hear makes him out to be some sort of boogeyman.”

He was. Caitlyn shuddered as memories of his “life-saving procedure” flickered through her mind. Babette noticed this, and she frowned.

“I’m terribly sorry this happened to you, Caitlyn. I would love to offer you a place to stay out of the kindness of my heart, but… this is the Lanes. People who do things out of the kindness of their hearts, seeking nothing in return, are fools.”

Caitlyn saw where this was going. “You want me to do something for you in return.”

“I’d like you to work here.”

Caitlyn could not stop her face from flushing a deep red. “I… I don’t know if I—”

“Not like that, my dear.” Babbette took another drag from her pipe. “I’m running short on security. You seem like you can handle yourself quite well.”

Caitlyn let out a loud sigh of relief. Sure, she had done quite well in her adventures as Matilda, but that wasn’t something she wanted to make a habit out of.

“Of course. Yes, I can absolutely do that.”

“Wonderful. Now, no offense, dear, but you look horrible. I’ll show you to the baths and have one of the girls get a bed ready for you.”

It was far more than Caitlyn had planned on asking for and beyond anything she expected to get. She so badly wanted to go home to her own bed, to see her parents, but having a roof over her head was enough to allow herself to relax.

“Thank you, Madame,” she said, using the title she heard from the other employees.

The baths were split into public and private sections. The latter were clearly more suited to actually cleaning oneself as opposed to the large heated tubs of the former. The showers were a far cry from her en suite back home, but they were still quite nice and kept very clean. Caitlyn was surprised to see a variety of familiar Piltovian brands as she looked through the various bottles of soap and shampoo. They were nothing fancy, but she hadn’t expected to see anything of the sort in a place like this.

She disrobed and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water run over her body. She wasn’t in pain, but she did feel a dull ache from how tense she had been. With a washcloth, she scrubbed away the remnants of the bombing. The water beneath her turned gray as it carried away the dirt and ash.

Caitlyn felt like she was washing someone else’s body. She was familiar with herself, going so far as to take pride in her physique. It was something she achieved through hard work and dedication. Hours of physical exercise. Proper nutrition. A thorough skincare routine. She had been the picture of health.

Not anymore. She avoided looking in the mirror as she went about her business, not wanting to meet the eyes of the stranger she had become.

Chapter Text

Turns out, cleaning herself off made Caitlyn feel a little more like herself. A lot of what was making her feel so uncomfortable in her own skin was dirt and grime. Now, she felt renewed, even if her body didn’t exactly look like it used to.

But there was something else on her mind. A lot of things, actually, all at once. The medication had slowed her racing thoughts, but not stopped them entirely. Caitlyn had always prided herself on her ability to remain calm and think things through, even in a crisis. That was getting harder for her. And that made her mad, and that distracted her even more.

Her train of thought was moving at a pace she couldn’t keep up with, taking sharp turns into unrelated territory, and making her forget what she had even been pondering in the first place.

Eventually, she gave up, assuming she was simply too tired and stressed out by the day’s events to think clearly. There was always tomorrow.

The brothel had small but cozy living quarters for some of the workers. There were rooms with bunks built into the walls, each with their own little privacy curtain. A far cry from Caitlyn’s four poster queen, but it would do.

They had clearly been constructed with smaller statures in mind, as she could place her feet flat on the far wall and press the top of her head against the one behind her. She curled in on herself and pulled the quilt over her body. She was exhausted, and she expected sleep to come easily.

It did not. Though she was entirely spent, her body still buzzed like a live wire. She tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position. And the torrent of thoughts did not stop.

What would her parents think of what had happened to her? And Jayce? Would he understand? Had Vi and Ekko survived the bombing? What happened to Jinx? Had she gotten caught in her own explosion by accident? Or was it intentional? Who had the gemstone? What had Jinx wanted with it?

A steady stream of questions she had no answers for. Or, at least, she couldn’t stop to ponder what the answers might be. Where was she even supposed to start looking? She had no leads. She was stuck in an unfamiliar city, with her only points of contact being the owner of a brothel and the unfeeling man who had put her in this situation.

Singed. The mere thought of him was enough to make her angry. So, so angry, that she wanted to break something—

The pills. One in the morning, one at night. She had already forgotten. Caitlyn sat up, bumping her head on the bunk above her. She felt around for her bag, then dug into it to retrieve the bottle. She could have easily gone to get water, but she swallowed the pill dry in a panic.

Calm washed over her. The world got quieter. She turned the unmarked bottle over in her hand, wondering what was in these things that made them work so quickly. Hopefully it wasn’t another illicit substance. To be truthful, she didn’t really care that much. As long as it helped.

She tried to make herself comfortable again. This time, her mind allowed her to fall into a deep sleep.

X

The skills of an enforcer translated shockingly well to working security for a brothel. After all, Caitlyn was no stranger to security assignments. Most of what she had to learn was to do with the types of people she needed to identify. Patrons who were trying to get more than they paid for, workers who were uncomfortable with particular clients, anyone who was too far gone off drugs or alcohol to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner.

“A lot of it is very subtle,” said the bald man she had met yesterday, whose name she had learned was Ral. “D’you know, when someone is drowning, they don’t actually make much noise? On account of the water they’re swallowing.”

Caitlyn nodded, understanding the metaphor.

“You’ve got to get good at reading the tiniest little tells. We try not to make much of a scene unless it’s necessary.”

This was relevant when she was stationed inside, roaming the halls to keep an eye on patrons. At other times, she would be stationed out front, warding off drunks, junkies, and anyone else looking for trouble. There was also desk duty, where she would evaluate the people who actually made it inside as a second line of defense. This role also required some administrative work, but she was comfortable enough.

“The one thing you won’t get to do for a while is man the back door. It’s… for special cases,” Ral told her.

Special cases like her and Vi. She wasn’t well-versed enough in the ways of the undercity or the relationships within it to be watching that particular entrance.

It was easy work. Caitlyn always had a sharp eye. Within the first week, she had rescued three different workers from uncomfortable situations and punched countless shitheads in the face while trying to keep them off the premises.

She had always known how to handle herself in close combat, but she found that she was much faster and stronger than she used to be. And there was that uncanny, instinctual movement. A drunkard twice her size had tried to come at her from behind to bash a bottle over her head, but Caitlyn’s body had reacted before she even noticed his presence. No matter how many times it happened, she was always startled by the feeling.

Before she knew it, a week had passed. She had earned Ral’s respect pretty quickly. He was much friendlier to her after a few days. Her wages were nothing to shake a stick at, but she didn’t mind. She had settled into a comfortable routine.

Caitlyn’s work ethic had impressed Babette so much that she treated her newest employee to dinner on Friday night. She had gotten a genuine steak dinner that must have come from up top, clearly trying to pander to Caitlyn’s more distinguished tastes. Sadly, Caitlyn had lost a lot of her appetite. She had to remind herself to eat meals sometimes. Not wanting to disappoint her gracious employer, she did her best to eat the majority of the food.

“You’ve done exceptionally well,” said Babette. “Almost better than Ral—but don’t tell him I said that.” She winked. “Why don’t you take the weekend off?”

Caitlyn had hoped she would say that. She hadn’t had a good chance to get out and explore. Though she didn’t know where to look, she was sure she could find a trail to follow that would help her.

“Of course. Thank you, Madame.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. Enjoy yourself.”

X

Caitlyn wasn’t really sure what she was about to do would be enjoyable, but she set out on Saturday morning (after taking her meds) to explore the underground. As much as she thought it was a bad idea, she was going to seek out the Firelights. If anyone knew what happened to Ekko and Vi, it would be them. She prayed they wouldn’t just attack her on sight.

She and Vi had been knocked out when they were brought to the tree from the Lanes, but she remembered how they navigated the pipes to leave the hideout. This meant backtracking from the Promenade, the highest level before crossing the bridges. Trudging through the tunnels was unpleasant, but Caitlyn found her way back to the gate easy enough. It helped that the Firelights had left some discreet markers to guide folk along.

Caitlyn stood before the metal gate, recalling that when she had last walked through it, she had been a different woman under different circumstances. She took a deep breath and rapped her fist against it.

A slot in the door shot open, and familiar, batlike eyes glared through. He was silent, and he looked at her for an unusually long time, as if he couldn’t figure out what to make of her.

“I was here with Vi and Ekko last week,” she said. “I want to find out what happened to them.”

Upon hearing her voice, his eyes widened with recognition. The slot slammed shut, and the door began to grind open. The bat Vastaya nodded at her, then tilted his head towards the tree, inviting her in.

Much to her surprise, sitting at the base of the mural beneath the tree was none other than Ekko. He held a pair of crutches at his side, but he didn’t look too worse for wear. Caitlyn gasped and took off, sprinting across the courtyard to him.

He looked at her in shock.

“Cait…lyn? Is that you?”

She slid to a halt before she got too close to him.

You forget yourself, Caitlyn.

She jumped at the sound of her mother’s voice, her head darting around as if she was hiding somewhere nearby. Nothing. She looked at Ekko.

“Yeah, it’s me. I… It’s a really long story. But I’m glad you’re alright. Is Vi…?”

He stood up, putting the crutches under his arms. “Yeah, she’s alright. Great, even. Didn’t get hit too bad. Worried sick about you, though.” He gestured for her to follow him. “C’mon, she’s up top.”

Caitlyn followed Ekko up into the tree. Something about the hideout made her feel uneasy, but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

You don’t belong here.

She screwed her eyes shut. This was not the time to be thinking about every cruel thing her mother had ever said to her.

Vi was sitting on a balcony, eating some sort of fruit that was unfamiliar to Caitlyn. When she heard people approaching, she turned to look at them. Her jaw dropped when her eyes met Caitlyn’s.

“Oh my god! Caitlyn!” she cried and leapt from her perch. “You’re okay!”

Vi ran to her without hesitation, pulling Caitlyn into a tight hug. It was the first time someone had touched her so intimately since she had woken up, and it sent a shiver up her spine. Vi held her tight, and Caitlyn slowly relaxed in her arms and hugged her back. They stood like that for a while until Vi let go, grabbing Caitlyn by the shoulders and holding her at arm’s length to give her a once over.

Caitlyn watched Vi’s excited expression drop as she noticed the changes.

“Cupcake, what happened to you?”

Caitlyn looked away, unable to meet her gaze.

“You both might want to sit down.”

All three of them did, and Caitlyn explained everything. Jinx, the shimmer, Singed. Vi put a hand over her mouth in horror as she described what had been done to her.

“Caitlyn, I… I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry. I never would have brought you down here if I had—”

Caitlyn cut her off. “No, you didn’t bring me down here. This was all my idea. A reckless, unsanctioned expedition into the undercity that I made sure I didn’t tell anyone about.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “No one knows I came down here. The last time anyone saw me, I was letting you out of Stillwater. And I still didn’t even tell my parents that’s where I was going!”

Vi gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. We can fix this.”

“Can you?” she snapped. The words came out angrier than she had wanted them to. “I don’t even really know what’s happened to me! I… I don’t feel like myself sometimes.” She stared at her hands. “The way I’ve been acting… It scares me. I’m afraid of myself, Vi.”

Caitlyn put her face in her hands and began to sob. It was the first time she had let herself cry, and it was like opening the floodgates after a storm.

“Caitlyn…” Vi got up and moved to sit beside her, laying an arm over her shoulders. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I… There’s gotta be a way to fix this. If there is, I’ll find it.” She looked to Ekko. “Maybe Heimerdinger could take a look at her?”

Caitlyn wiped her eyes. “Professor Heimerdinger is here?”

Ekko didn’t respond. He was staring off into the distance, brow furrowed.

“You said Jinx was there,” he said. “And that she got the same treatment you did. That means she’s alive, which is concerning because there hasn’t been any activity from her. We all thought she had died.”

“I don’t know for sure. She and Silco were both gone by the time I woke up. But Singed made it sound like she survived. Not that I trust him that much.”

“Sounds like your mad scientist is our only lead,” he said, sitting up straighter. “Where’s his place at?”

Caitlyn was struck by a sudden fear. Ekko meant to interrogate Singed—potentially even harm him, if it came to it. Even if all Ekko did was piss him off, it was likely that she wouldn’t get her medication.

“You can’t,” she growled.

Ekko’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

“You can’t talk to him. He’s the only one who can help me.”

“Right, the pills,” said Vi. “He’s the only one who can make the medication you need.”

Vi was trying to back her up, but Caitlyn could tell that she wasn’t entirely on her side. They were both unnerved by the tone of her response.

“Look, when I go see him next week, I can try talking to him. I’m—I was an enforcer, I know how to get information from people.”

Ekko looked at her, skepticism evident on his face.

“You just told us you don’t feel like yourself. How do we know he’s not manipulating you somehow? Scratch that—he is. You’re his bitch as long as he’s the only one who can make the shit you need to keep yourself sane.”

“Ekko! That’s enough!” Vi shouted, putting a hand on Caitlyn’s thigh. “You built this place to help people who had their lives destroyed by shimmer. You can’t treat her like this! It's not her fault!”

Caitlyn was getting fed up with the way they were both treating her. She was angry with Ekko’s suspicions, but Vi’s way of taking her side felt incredibly patronizing.

“I can take care of myself!” Caitlyn yelled, standing up and smacking Vi’s hand away. She pointed at Ekko. “You can take what I give you, or I’ll do this on my own. I’ve been fine without you so far.”

Ekko looked away. “... sorry,” he mumbled. Caitlyn wasn't sure if it was a genuine apology or not, and she didn't care.

“I don’t need your apology either.” Caitlyn straightened her clothes. “I’ll report back to you after I see him again. Hopefully, I’ll have some more insight into his operations, and how they connect to Silco.”

With that, she turned and left. Ekko stayed where he was, but Vi jumped to her feet and followed her down.

“Cupcake, I’m sorry if I—”

“It’s okay, Vi. I know you’re just trying to help, but I can handle things on my own.”

“Right. Of course.” She paused. “But if you want some tips on getting around the Lanes…”

Caitlyn smiled. “I know who to ask.”

Vi smiled back. “By the way, do you need a place to stay?”

Caitlyn shook her head. “I’m fine, I’ve got a bed at Babette’s.”

She immediately realized the way she had said that lacked context as Vi’s face turned the color of her hair.

“B-Babette’s? Are y-you…?”

“No! Gods, no,” said Caitlyn, also blushing. “I’m working security for her. It’s an easy gig, and it’s put a roof over my head. I can’t complain.”

Vi chuckled awkwardly. “Caitlyn Kiramman, brothel bouncer.”

The mention of her surname made her wince, but she forced a laugh.

“Hey, it’s been a great way for me to learn about the undercity. No doubt it’ll be a good way to get intel too. I know a lot of Silco’s underlings frequent the place.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Vi started to perk up. “That’s perfect. Of course you know what you’re doing. We’ll figure this out in no time!”

She seemed to mean what she said this time. Caitlyn could not be so blindly optimistic, but Vi’s faith in her was comforting nonetheless.

They stood in the yard for a while, Caitlyn looking up at the mural. At Vi’s face. For a week, Caitlyn had thought her to be dead, just as Ekko had assumed for seven whole years.

Then, a firelight buzzed by her ear, and the hauntingly familiar sound Caitlyn flew into a panic. The image of Marcus, pistol raised, flashed before her. She shoved Vi away from her and leapt back, head whipping around to locate the source of the threat. She spotted the glowing bug floating by and snatched it out of the air without thinking, closing her fist around the tiny insect. It exploded in her palm with a sickening, wet crunch.

Shaking, she opened her fingers to see the gruesome mess splayed across her hand. The firelight was unrecognizably dead, and everyone around her was staring at her in shock—even Vi.

“S-sorry, I… I’m so sorry. I just… It startled me. I—” Caitlyn was out of breath. Her heart was pounding so loud she was sure everyone could hear it.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright!” said Vi, slowly inching towards her. “You got spooked, that’s all. Come on, let’s get you outta here.” 

Vi walked her back to the Lanes. They didn’t talk about what had just happened.

Instead, Vi tried to lighten the mood by giving her a sort of haphazard tour as they went. Some of it was just her showing off places that were important to her as a kid, but a decent chunk of it was useful information. Don’t shop here, the owner’s a cheat. This bar waters down their drinks. Muggers love this particular alleyway due to the poor visibility.

They passed by The Last Drop on their way to Babette’s. Vi stopped them in front of it, looking up at the oppressive neon eye that kept watch over the Lanes.

“I used to live here, you know,” she said.

“In a bar?” Caitlyn asked incredulously.

“It was different back then. Still a bar, though,” she snorted. “But yeah. Had a room in the basement and everything. Vander owned the place.”

“The Hound of the Underground,” Caitlyn murmured, recognizing the name. “He was your father?”

“Adoptive, but he might as well have been mine by blood.” Vi’s fists tightened.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Vi pulled her along by her wrist, leading them away from the bar.

Babette’s was busy. It was Saturday evening, after all. Parties were raging, people were drinking, and that always led them to seek out pleasures of the flesh. Caitlyn nodded and waved at Ral as she led Vi around to the back door.

“Do you have time to come in?”

Vi blushed. “Oh. Uh, yeah. Not really doing much around the hideout other than playing with the kids.”

The guard on duty let them in the back door after he confirmed it was indeed Caitlyn coming back. They went up into the main area of the brothel. Caitlyn had been intending to take Vi to the spare room where employees took their breaks so they could have a chat, but Vi grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her aside, into one of the private rooms. Caitlyn yelped a little.

“Uh, sorry,” said Vi. “I just… Damn, what the hell am I thinking?” She scratched the back of her neck. “Well, y’see, the last time we were here… I… You…”

It didn’t take a detective to figure out what Vi was trying to say.

“It’s alright, Vi. I get it.”

Vi’s eyes shot upwards, boring into hers.

“You do?”

In a past life, Caitlyn would have just said yes. She was well aware that she was a catch, and she wore her beauty proudly. Now, though, she was dodging mirrors. Caitlyn couldn’t keep herself from asking the question that was sitting at the back of her throat.

“Are you… Are you sure you still like me… like this?”

Vi’s big, beautiful, gray eyes went wide in disbelief.

“Cupcake, what…? What are you talking about? Of course.” Vi stepped forward and placed a hand on her cheek. “What’s there not to like?”

Caitlyn closed her eyes, brows knitting together. Disgust bubbled in her stomach.

“I’m… different. I look different.”

Vi caressed her face.

“Oh, Caitlyn, no. I mean, really, it’s not that big of a change.” Her thumb rubbed against Caitlyn’s temple, encouraging her to open her eyes. “Besides, pink is a good look for you.”

Vi made no mention of the other differences—how her skin had lost its color, how haunted she looked, the way she moved. Perhaps she couldn’t tell. She had only known Caitlyn for a few days. And Caitlyn was thankful for that. In her mind’s eye, she could imagine the judgement that would inevitably come from the people that had known her since she was a child. How they would look at her and see a distortion of the person she had been.

But Vi didn’t seem to care, and that was a small but welcome comfort.

Vi pressed her forehead against Caitlyn’s and closed her eyes.

It was hard to tell who initiated the kiss. They were already so close to each other that Caitlyn could feel Vi’s breath against her lips. It was only natural for them to close the gap.

Vi was warm, and she tasted like fresh fruit (no doubt from what she had just been eating). Caitlyn, on the other hand, hadn’t been eating much lately, but she was hungry now. She laid her arms on Vi’s shoulders and the two of them carefully walked backwards towards the couch. Vi didn’t even look away when she lowered herself down, pulling Caitlyn onto her lap.

It felt natural. Whether that was because of the person she was making out with or the setting of the brothel, Caitlyn couldn’t decide. And she didn’t need to. She just kept going. Deeper and deeper.

Vi’s hands lingered around the hem of her shirt, tickling her waist. Caitlyn pulled apart from her lips for long enough to tell her that it was okay, and Vi’s hands immediately shot up under the fabric, gliding across her taut stomach towards her breasts. Like her mouth, her hands were warm. They were also rough, but not in an unpleasant way. They were the hands of someone who had to use them to protect herself. They groped at her breasts in a way that was so awkwardly nervous it was kind of cute. Caitlyn laughed into Vi’s mouth.

“H-hey, look, it’s been a while. Prison isn’t really a great place for frequent casual flings.”

Caitlyn frowned, thinking about what Vi had been through in the seven years she spent wrongfully imprisoned.

“It’s alright. It’s charming,” she said, kissing Vi on the cheek.

Vi was already flustered, but her face turned a shade darker and burned a degree hotter.

Caitlyn was no stranger to heavy petting. She had been with her fair share of women over the years (much to the chagrin of her mother, who would rather she court seriously than engage in meaningless flings). Where Vi fumbled, she met her with practiced hands, guiding her where she needed to go and then returning the favor. Caitlyn pressed against her rigid abdomen, feeling every muscle in her stomach. Vi must have kept a serious workout regimen, which was a trait Caitlyn greatly admired.

As her hands went higher, Caitlyn found herself wanting more. Her mouth left Vi’s, moving down her jaw to her neck, nipping at her like a starved animal. Vi made some very cute noises, which only egged her on.

Caitlyn felt heat rising from the pit of her stomach. It was familiar, but something was different. The way it spread through her was more intense, lighting her up. She felt energized by it. And, gods, she was hungry. There was no other way to describe the feeling other than to say that she wanted to sink her teeth into Vi and eat her alive. Not in the literal sense, but the desire that was building inside her was so intense that it was becoming unbearable. Without thinking, Caitlyn sunk her teeth into Vi. She wanted to truly taste her. She wanted to draw blood.

She had never felt like this before, and it scared her. Suddenly, Caitlyn was on the opposite side of the room, back pressed against the wall, holding a hand over her mouth.

Vi was shocked. “Wh—did I do something wrong?”

“No, no. Not you,” said Caitlyn, breathing hard. “Me. Did I hurt you?”

Vi rubbed at the bite mark on her neck. Caitlyn had not broken the skin, but there was a clear outline of her teeth imprinted there.

“No, I’m fine. I’ve had worse, believe it or not.”

Concern was evident on Vi’s face. She stood up and began to cross the room to comfort her, but Caitlyn shied away from her touch.

“I’m sorry, Vi,” she choked. “I can’t do this right now. I don’t feel… right. It has nothing to do with you, I swear. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Cupcake. Look, I’ll get out of your hair. I shouldn’t have sprung this on you anyways.” Vi was speaking genuinely, but there was a sadness in her voice that she couldn’t conceal.

Vi left, and Caitlyn fell to pieces.

Everything about her felt wrong. She had been able to ignore it until now, distracting herself with work, but it was undeniable. Even Singed’s pills couldn’t hide the fact that she was different now. She moved differently, she thought differently, she reacted differently, she felt differently.

She had liked Vi. A lot, actually. Enough to have entertained the idea of them truly being together. But now she didn’t dare think anything of the sort. Caitlyn’s gut was telling her that if she tried to be with Vi, she would only wind up hurting her.

Even as the dread crept through her, the heat in her stomach didn’t recede. She was still just as hot and bothered as she had been when Vi had her hands all the way up her shirt.

Caitlyn slammed her fist against the wall. The blow was stronger than she intended, rattling the baubles dangling from the rafters. Defeated by her own lust, she shuffled across the room, sat down on the couch, and slipped her hand into her pants.

Chapter Text

On Caitlyn’s second day off, she decided to spend her free time gathering information about what was going on in Piltover. As it turns out, just as the people up top didn’t know much about the goings-on down below, the people of the undercity didn’t really keep up with the latest news about the topsiders—unless it was directly relevant to them. Growing up, Caitlyn had been told over and over that they were “two cities, one people”, but the reality couldn’t have been farther from the truth. After spending a week down here, she felt like she might as well have been on a different continent. The only reminder that this was technically supposed to be a part of Piltover were the Promenade’s distant views of the city on the other side of the river and the occasional clearly Piltovian accent floating through the streets. After all, it wasn’t like topsiders never came down here. She alone was enough proof of that.

Despite all this, it wasn’t that hard to get a hold of a copy of The Piltover Herald. Just because folk didn’t care about topside news didn’t mean it wasn’t accessible. Newsstands in the Promenade sold it right alongside stacks of The UnderPress. Caitlyn was sure that the woman running the stand could count on one hand the number of copies she sold of the Piltovian paper. One of them went to her.

It did not surprise Caitlyn that she was front page news. The sudden disappearance of a councilors daughter was a big deal. However, the information that was actually presented was quite vague. This, too, did not surprise her. She was sure the Council had learned of her trip to Stillwater and her misappropriation of Jayce’s newfound status. This detail was not mentioned. The article stated that she was last seen departing the Kiramman mansion.

I’m covering for you yet again.

Caitlyn scowled. Of course she was. Her mother would not let it be known that her vaunted daughter had disappeared after forging a councilors signature to release a prisoner. Caitlyn’s image must be protected at the cost of someone actually locating her faster.

She scanned the rest of the paper. There was some commentary on how the Council was directing a not insignificant amount of resources towards the search. Yet they had not crossed the river yet. They were sweeping every inch of Piltover first. Another desperate attempt to preserve her image.

God forbid we find you on the other side .

Caitlyn winced at the sound of her mother’s voice in her head. This was not new, not caused by the shimmer, but certainly enhanced by it. She had always heard her mother’s voice lurking in the back of her thoughts. It was just louder and more talkative now.

Though she was disappointed with the lies and lack of focus in the search efforts, everything she read was good news for her. Enforcers wouldn’t be descending on the undercity just yet, and she was not in danger of being found. No one down here was reading this paper, and they remained blissfully unaware of her true status.

X

Vi would not stop coming by the brothel. It was to the point where she had started paying to get inside and see Caitlyn if the front desk attendant wouldn’t let her through for free.

It wasn’t that Vi distracted her from her work. Caitlyn was good enough at her job to have a conversation with someone and stay vigilant at the same time. No, Vi being around bothered her because she was simply acting like nothing had happened. She came around, made small talk, gave her updates on what the Firelights were up to—which was literally nothing, since Ekko was still on the mend and Silco’s more obvious operations had come to a sudden halt. Caitlyn’s good manners kept her from displaying her irritation, but they were starting to wear thin.

Caitlyn did not want to be around Vi. Even when she had calmed down after the incident, she felt disgusted with herself. Every time she thought of Vi, she thought of how she had felt in that moment. The insatiable hunger that overtook her, the thoughts she had, the things she almost did before she forced herself to stop. She was so much stronger now, and she didn’t have any control over it. She couldn’t trust herself with Vi, no matter how much she wanted to be with her.

It made it painful to see her. All the more so since it didn’t seem to phase Vi whatsoever.

Caitlyn was changing—Caitlyn had changed. And Vi was acting like everything was normal. Like she wasn’t one forgotten pill away from completely flying off the handle. Like she hadn’t been so close to sinking her teeth into Vi’s neck when they had barely made it past second base.

On Thursday, Vi came to her with an actual purpose. She hadn’t meant to reveal it, but Caitlyn was too sharp to miss the meaning behind her words.

“So, when are you going back to the creepy doc? Saturday?”

It was the most pointed question Vi had asked her all week, so it stood out. Caitlyn raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” she said, and then, “You’re asking me because Ekko is planning on tailing me.”

Vi’s eyes roamed around, looking everywhere but at Caitlyn.

“What on earth gave you that idea, cupcake?”

Caitlyn narrowed her eyes at her. “Vi, if he fucks this up for me, I’m screwed. I can’t function without those meds.”

Vi finally met her gaze. Sadness and concern swam in her eyes.

“Cait… He just wants to make sure you’re safe.”

“I have a hard time believing that.”

“I want to make sure that you’re safe.”

Vi should have been more worried about her own safety. Caitlyn wanted to say that, but she knew better. She kept her mouth shut.

“Tell him to leave me be. I promise I’ll come back with whatever info I can get. I do know how to interrogate people.”

Vi huffed. “I’ll see what I can do. I don’t exactly call the shots.” She shoved her hands in her pockets. “Listen, forget all this. What time do you get off?”

Caitlyn glanced at a clock on the wall.

“In about thirty minutes, actually.”

“Let’s go out. Grab some drinks.”

Vi flashed a grin that made her heart flutter. How could she tell her no? She wanted to indulge in the fantasy that everything was normal. Everything would be fine. Nothing was changing.

“Sure, why not,” Caitlyn replied, shrugging.

Vi performed a celebratory fist pump. “Yes!”

Caitlyn chuckled. “I don’t think you’re supposed to celebrate in front of the girl you’re asking out.”

“Oh, you know you love it, cupcake.”

Vi waited out back for her until her shift had ended. She took Caitlyn by the hand and led her through the busy underground streets. They passed by The Last Drop, and Vi did hesitate for a moment, almost as if she wanted to go in. But she just shook her head and pulled Caitlyn along. They made their way to a much quieter spot, a little hole-in-the-wall bar further down the street. There was a man with a guitar in the back, strumming away and murmuring the words to a song Caitlyn didn’t recognize.

Vi got them drinks: a beer for herself, and a gin and tonic for Caitlyn. It was Caitlyn’s go-to, a taste she had inherited from her old man. The smell made her homesick.

She felt Vi’s arm snake around her waist, and she went rigid at the contact. Vi noticed this, and she removed her arm, frowning.

“Look, Cait, I just… I wanted to apologize about last weekend. I pushed things too far too fast. I never intended to make you uncomfortable—”

“Let me stop you right there,” said Caitlyn, raising a hand. She felt awful for making Vi feel this way. “I told you, it had nothing to do with you. It was me.”

“See, I feel like you’re just saying that to make me feel better.”

“No, Vi. Listen to me.” Caitlyn’s eyes darted around the bar, taking stock of the other patrons. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private, okay?”

Behind the bar was a rickety staircase leading up to a rooftop deck. There were only a couple other people up there. Vi and Caitlyn tucked themselves into a corner.

Caitlyn took a deep breath. “I do like you, Vi. But I’m afraid. Not of you, but of myself.”

“I know you look a little different, but it really doesn’t matter to me.”

“It goes deeper than that. The way that I feel things is... different.”

Vi put a gentle hand on her arm. “Help me understand. Because I can’t tell the difference. Your eyes might have changed, but you seem the same to me.”

Caitlyn felt sick. She didn’t believe she deserved this level of care and compassion.

“It’s hard to put into words. I did my best to describe it to you and Ekko, but I don’t think I fully knew the extent of it then. Every day, it seems like I notice something else.” She couldn’t bring herself to look directly at Vi. “When I was with you… I felt like I was on the verge of losing control. It sounds terrible, but I… I wanted to hurt you.”

Vi’s brows knit together and her lips pursed.

“But you didn’t. And, I mean, I don’t mind a little love bite.”

Caitlyn shook her head. “I stopped myself. I was scared of what I wanted to do. Vi, you don’t get it. Without the meds he gave me…”

She struggled to find the right words. Vi squeezed her arm.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to.”

“No, I have to. You need to understand. I know you barely knew me before all this, but this is important. Please, just listen to me.”

Vi hooked her finger under Caitlyn’s chin and tilted her head up so that their eyes were forced to meet.

“I’m listening. I promise.”

Caitlyn wanted to cry, but she did her best to swallow the lump in her throat.

“Without the meds, it’s… loud. Inside and out. I can hear every little sound around me, but there’s also noise in my head. Like I’m thinking too much, or thinking too fast. Too many thoughts, all at once. It’s frustrating, and that makes it worse, because everything is intensified. If I get angry, I get so angry. If I get scared, or even just startled, I’m terrified. I can’t control it. When I first woke up, I could’ve killed Singed if I wasn’t so overwhelmed by everything that was happening to me. And there’s also this… this itching. Like there’s something under my skin. Pins and needles, all over. It’s a complete sensory overload.”

Vi was nodding along as she spoke with a heartbroken expression on her face. Caitlyn was sure she would have swapped places with her in a heartbeat to take away the pain. That just made her feel worse. She wasn't sure what name to give to the emotion that was eating away at her, but it was making her feel sick.

“And so, when you were with me… it brought some of that back?”

Caitlyn frowned. “No, it was more like… Another part of it woke up. Like there’s all this shit inside of me now, and more of it surfaces every day. I don’t mean to make you feel bad by saying this, but I’ve been with other women in the past, and I never felt like that before.”

Vi grabbed both of her hands. Their faces were so close together.

“Caitlyn, I swear, if there’s a way to reverse all this, I will find it. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I know it isn’t, but it feels like it’s all my fault.”

“It’s not. It really isn’t, Vi. I made the choice to come down here. I knew that I was taking a risk when I got you released.”

Vi reached up, placing a hand on the back of Caitlyn’s head and pressing their foreheads together.

“If it’s any comfort, I don’t think you’ve changed at all. You’re still Caitlyn to me. My cupcake.”

It was not a comfort. It made Caitlyn wish that they had never met.

X

On Friday, Caitlyn was tasked with working the front desk. She had slipped out before her shift to grab another copy of The Herald, to see if there were any updates on, well, her. She laid the newspaper on the lower shelf of the desk, out of sight from the patrons coming and going.

SEARCH FOR KIRAMMAN SCION CONTINUES! NEW DETAILS COME TO LIGHT!

Beneath the headline were two photos: one of her, smiling for a portrait, and one of Vi. A mugshot from her file.

Caitlyn quickly read the text of the article. The original story hadn’t changed. Instead, more lies had been tacked on to cover up the unsavory truth. Vi was an “escaped prisoner” who had been spotted “carrying her into the undercity”.

Be careful of who you associate yourself with. You are a councilor's daughter. Your actions reflect on all of us.

To say that this was not good news was an understatement. Not only would enforcers now be pushing into the Fissures, but they would be hunting down Vi as well. Vi, who had done nothing wrong, and only wanted to help. Caitlyn crumpled up the paper and threw it into the trash. Nausea overtook her, and she bent over, hugging herself. She wished she could throw up, imagining that it would expel everything that was wrong with her, but she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten anything.

Of course this wasn’t going to last. It had been too nice, too easy. Things could never be easy for her.

DING!

A customer was asking for her attention. Caitlyn stood up and forced a smile.

“Welcome to Babette’s! How may I—oh, Sevika.” Caitlyn recognized Silco’s right-hand woman. She was a well-known regular with a favorite girl. "I assume you’re here to see Naomi?"

Sevika smiled darkly, and shifted so that the cloak fell from her left shoulder, exposing a freshly repaired mechanical arm. Vials of shimmer popped up from the shoulder plate and plunged back down with a soft hiss, pumping the drug into her veins.

“No, actually. As nice as that sounds, I’m actually here for you, Kiramman.”

Chapter Text

The grid of iron bars that separated the front desk from the customers was there for the workers’ protection, as people were wont to get aggressive if they were denied access to the garden of earthly pleasures. Caitlyn was thankful for this barrier as Sevika raised her metal arm and gripped one of the bars with a solid CLANG! Metal ground against metal. The iron groaned as it buckled under her grip.

There was only one door that led behind the desk, and it thankfully did not exit directly into the foyer where Sevika was standing, now flanked by two goons who looked much less threatening. Caitlyn could handle them. She wasn’t sure if she could handle Sevika. Her thoughts sped as she analyzed the situation, but her inspection was interrupted as one booming voice overwhelmed all the others in her head.

FIGHT OR FLIGHT? FIGHT OR FLIGHT? FIGHT OR FLIGHT?

Words chanted like a mantra. She felt like her body was egging her on, trying to rile her up and get her to go on the offensive. This was a stupid idea. Caitlyn held tight to her reason.

She chose flight.

The door behind the front desk led to a small room that connected to the staff room, and the staff room had a door that led to the back entrance. Before she even realized she was running, Caitlyn was outside on the street, shoving her way through crowds of people. She heard shouting behind her and looked over her shoulder. Ral and one of the other security guards were trying to detain Sevika and her crew at the front of the building. They wouldn’t last long, and Caitlyn wished they weren’t risking their lives for her.

She ran, and as she ran, she felt a jolt run through her body, and the world around her began to slow down. It was as if the people around her were moving through molasses, and she was the only one unaffected by it. Even when she skidded to a stop, no one else sped up. They didn’t even react to her presence. Sound was muffled, like she was underwater.

Then, the jolt ripped through her again, and the world came crashing back. Everything was unbearably loud. Caitlyn realized that the other people weren’t catching up to her speed—she was slowing down to meet them.

Maybe the shimmer had its uses. She broke into a sprint, pushing herself as hard as she could, and she felt the jolt again. No words could properly describe the feeling, but she imagined this was what being struck by lightning would be like if it was pleasurable.

The speed was addicting, and she caught herself enjoying the feeling, nearly forgetting that she was fleeing from a gang of murderous criminals. She wasn’t sure that they wanted to kill her, necessarily. It was more likely that Silco had seen the news, and he was trying to get his hands on her before the enforcers did. And yet, she let herself enjoy the rush.

A little too much, as she realized she wasn’t sure where she was running to. She couldn’t go to the Firelights. No matter how fast she was, she was sure they would find a way to track her there, and she didn’t want any harm to come to the innocent people that called the cistern and its tree home. If things had been different, she would have run straight to the bridge, leading Sevika and company right into the laps of the enforcers’ barricades. But she doubted they would recognize her in this state, and she was just as likely to be shot down as the gangsters pursuing her.

Caitlyn came to a stop again. Should she run to Singed? Would he care enough to help her? He was working with Silco. Perhaps he would just let them take her.

She looked up. She was standing in front of The Last Drop, the neon sign casting a sickly green glow over her. The world around her stayed slow. The quiet was nice. It gave her space to think.

Then, Caitlyn felt a gust of wind behind her and a breath against her ear.

“Well, hello there, cupcake,” spoke a low, rough voice that was all too familiar to her. “You come here often?”

Something blunt smashed against the back of her head and everything went dark.

X

Caitlyn awoke to the smell of cigar smoke and alcohol. There was a din of shouting and music coming from beneath her. She tried to move, but found her arms had been tied to the arms of the chair she was sat in.

When her vision cleared, she found herself in an office. A circular window of green glass cut into twisting, decorative shapes cast a dim glow over the space and framed the chair in front of it, which was turned away from her. Smoke rose from the other side, and she heard someone sigh, though she couldn’t parse the emotion attached to it. The chair creaked as it turned.

“Welcome, Miss Kiramman. It’s so nice to see you again.”

Silco’s voice was dripping with contempt. Caitlyn strained against the ropes to no avail.

“Why am I here?” she snarled. “What do you want with me?”

“I thought you were a detective. Or did you not get that far before mommy and daddy had you taken off the force?” He pushed his cigarette into an ashtray that was covered in pink and blue doodles. “You already know the answers to your questions. Ask me about something you don’t know.”

Caitlyn wanted so badly to leap across his desk, pin him down, and tear his throat out. But she swallowed her anger and tried to calm her mind.

“Why—” She rasped, and then swallowed again, trying to wet her throat. “Why did you take me to him? Singed?”

“That’s the one.” He smiled. “Well, for starters, it wasn’t for… all this.” He gestured lazily at her. “I brought you to him to stabilize you, not give you the same drugs he gave to Jinx.”

Caitlyn heard something shift above them, and her eyes shot up to the rafters. A blue braid was dangling down, signaling Jinx’s presence. She was sitting with her knees pulled tight to her chest, glaring at Caitlyn over her crossed arms with harsh, pink eyes. Just like hers.

“To what end?” Caitlyn asked, still staring at the other girl.

“You are a councilor’s daughter.” She winced, his voice overlapping with her mother’s. “An effective bargaining chip. I saw an opportunity and took it. But it seems Singed had other plans for you. No matter. Even like this, you can still serve the same purpose.”

Caitlyn scoffed. “You think they’ll want me back like this?”

Silco’s dark expression wavered. She thought he was confused, but when she looked closer, he seemed almost concerned.

“You don’t think they’ll accept you in this state,” he said, though it sounded a bit more like a question. “Is that why you haven’t tried to go home yet?”

“No one would believe anything I had to say. Not while I’m like this.”

She didn’t want to talk about this with him. As Silco was trying to figure out how to respond to her, she felt a restlessness building up within her. Sharp prickles beneath her skin. Her eyes went wide.

“What time is it?” she nearly shouted.

He was startled and didn’t answer her. She spotted a clock on the wall. It was late. Far too late. She had missed her nightly dose.

“Look, I know I’m in no position to ask anything of you, but—” She grit her teeth and writhed in her restraints, her skin crawling. “Please. At Babette’s, there’s a bottle of pills in a bag upstairs. I need… I need one. Please.”

“What for?” Silco asked, his voice betraying a genuine curiosity.

“To stop this!” she spat. “To keep me from losing my fucking mind!”

There it was. The anger was boiling over. She was red hot with rage.

“This is quite interesting. Don’t you think, Jinx?” He cast his eyes up at his ward. “Singed told me he gave you the same treatment, but Jinx received no such medications. She seems quite the same.”

“No changes here, pops,” said Jinx, who was now staring down at Caitlyn with a similar fascination. “Still just lil’ old me.”

What? Nothing like this was happening to Jinx? The thought consumed her and drove her fury deeper. Why just her?

There’s something wrong with you.

“SHUT UP!” she screeched.

Both Silco and Jinx started. No one had said anything.

Why can’t you just be like the other girls your age? Why can’t you be normal?

There was a soft thunk and Jinx was suddenly between Caitlyn and Silco, crouched atop his desk. She locked eyes with Caitlyn, her head tilted to the side. She looked like she was trying to take Caitlyn apart with her eyes.

They weren’t going to help her. Caitlyn knew they wouldn’t. She traded anger for despair. She stopped thrashing and went limp in the chair, hanging her head, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. It was a jarring emotional shift that she didn’t have time to process before she was choking back sobs.

“P-please,” she whimpered. “I can’t…”

Caitlyn lifted her head, staring at Jinx through the curtain of her own dark hair. Jinx was still looking at her like she was a problem she needed to solve. It was a familiar expression, one she had seen on Jayce and Viktor’s faces so many times in the past.

“Jinx, I have no use for her in this state. You were the one looking for her, so I’ll leave Miss Kiramman in your care. Just don’t kill her.”

Jinx looked over her shoulder at him, then back at Caitlyn. She had been looking for her? What did that mean? Before she could pursue that line of questioning, a thousand other thoughts crashed into her skull and sent her into a panic. What would Jinx do with her? Why was she looking at her like that? Was Silco still going to try to negotiate with the Council? Was he going to hand her over to her parents like this? What would they do to her?

Stop crying.

She couldn’t. She cried ugly, ugly tears, unbefitting of someone of her station, of her name. She was sitting in front of the most dangerous chembaron Piltover had ever seen and a known terrorist, bawling like a child.

Jinx reached out and placed a finger under Caitlyn’s chin—a motion so similar to the one Vi had done the night before that it sent a wave of comfort through her. Her chest felt warm. She almost smiled.

The look on Jinx’s face hadn’t changed, but her hand moved upwards, and she wiped away some of the tears streaming down Caitlyn’s face. Her touch was gentle, but the skin to skin contact felt like it was burning her.

Without saying a word, Jinx pulled back, sliding off Silco’s desk and walking behind her.

“Don’t worry, pops. She’ll be safe with me.”

Against her better judgement, Caitlyn believed her.

A mask was placed over her mouth. Caitlyn smelled harsh chemicals, and then she was asleep.

X

Once more, Caitlyn awoke to find herself tied up. This time, though, there was a gag over her mouth. Her head was pounding. She prayed she wasn’t getting a migraine.

Through squinting eyes, she surveyed her surroundings. She was certainly not in Silco’s office anymore. She wasn’t sure where she was.

She was on her knees, wrists and ankles bound behind her back and tied together so that she could hardly move. The floor beneath her was metal, if you could even call it a floor. She looked to her left and right and realized that she was sitting on the blade of a giant industrial fan. The blade appeared to be lodged into a wall of solid rock, and at the end of it was an old couch surrounded by pink and blue neon lights. In her dazed state, Caitlyn thought someone was sitting on it, but she blinked and realized it was just a mannequin.

She craned her neck to look over her shoulder. There was a column in the center of the fan, where it looked like someone had set up a workshop of sorts. It was nothing compared to what Jayce worked with, but it was still impressive.

Jinx. Jinx had brought her here. As Caitlyn surveyed the area, she saw more obvious signs of her. The whole place was covered in drawings. She recognized the monkey that she had seen on Progress Day among dozens of other splotches of graffiti.

But Jinx was nowhere to be found. She was alone. And she was afraid.

That thought was a mistake, because as soon as she acknowledged the creeping feeling of fear gnawing at her, it gained power over her. In a flash, it turned to full on panic, which brought the pins and needles back. Trapped as she was, this was agony. She knew scratching wouldn’t help, but being unable to do it made the sensations worse. Against her better judgement, she pulled against the restraints until her wrists burned from the friction. She did her best to overwrite one pain with another.

Somewhere in the darkness, a door opened. Light spilled through momentarily, then was cut off as a familiar, gangly figure stepped through. The door slammed shut, and a pair of heavy boots clomp-clomped across the farthest blade of the fan.

“Wow, cupcake. You look like shit.”

Caitlyn tried to scream, but nothing more than a pitiful muffled sound escaped the gag.

Jinx strolled across her workshop and dropped into a squat directly in front of Caitlyn. She pulled something from a pouch on her hip. Something small, and bright blue.

The gemstone. After all this, she still had the gemstone. Caitlyn cursed herself for not thinking to ask Ekko or Vi what happened to it.

Jinx noticed her eyes were fixated on the glowing ball. “Oh, you want this?” She rolled it between her fingers. “Too bad! I’ve got a job to do.” She returned the gemstone to her hip pouch.

Caitlyn knew she couldn’t be heard, but she continued trying to talk anyways.

“What is wrong with you?”

Jinx was the one who spoke, but Caitlyn heard her mother’s voice. She screwed her eyes shut and jerked herself backwards, falling on her side. Jinx moved closer to her, and she tried to squirm away from her.

“Jeez, lady, will you relax? I’m just going to take the gag off.”

Caitlyn froze. Jinx reached behind her head and undid the buckle holding the gag in place. It fell from her face, and Caitlyn gasped. For a few seconds all she could do was breathe.

Jinx crossed her legs and sat down. “Better?”

“If you untied me, maybe,” Caitlyn rasped.

“Can’t do that. I’m worried you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

That was not what Caitlyn had expected her to say. “You were worried I was going to hurt myself, so you hogtied me?”

“Maybe not my best judgement call, but it was better than nothing.”

The prickly feeling was still at work within her, and it was accented by random, sharp pains throughout her body. Caitlyn jerked involuntarily as if she had been stabbed. With no other recourse, she twisted her wrists and pulled against the ropes, praying that the friction burns would overpower whatever was tearing her apart inside.

“Hey, woah. Is something wrong?” Jinx asked, genuine concern in her voice.

“Yes! Everything is wrong!” Caitlyn wailed. “It fucking hurts!”

“The ropes?”

“No, you fucking—! Inside!”

Caitlyn slammed the side of her face against the metal, startling Jinx.

Everything hurt. Everything was so loud. It was unbearable. She felt just as bad as she had when she woke up in Singed’s lab. Maybe worse. She couldn’t think straight. She could hardly see. Was she going to pass out?

Jinx scrambled to her feet and ran over to the center of the fan. She rifled through the junk on her desk until she found a familiar looking bag. Caitlyn’s bag. Jinx pulled out the pill bottle and ran back over to Caitlyn. She dropped to her knees as she approached, sliding over to her as she unscrewed the cap.

“Open,” she said, raising the pill to Caitlyn’s mouth.

Caitlyn could hardly hear what she was saying over the furor inside her head. The itchy pins and needles were fading, replaced by a frightening numbness that started in her hands and crawled up her arms.

“Fucking hell,” said Jinx. She gripped Caitlyn’s face and forced her jaw open, shoving the pill into her mouth and then tilting her head to the side. “Now swallow!”

The pill touched the back of Caitlyn’s throat and she gagged, almost coughing it back up. Jinx clamped her jaw shut and held it there.

“Fucking swallow it! Unless you want me to shove my hand down your throat!”

Caitlyn’s throat muscles convulsed. Somehow, the pill went down.

Though the medication took effect and started to ease her symptoms, the damage had been done. Caitlyn was exhausted, and she fainted in Jinx’s hands.

X

This time, when Caitlyn woke up, she was no longer bound. At least, she thought she wasn’t.

She had been put on the couch—the same one where she had seen the mannequin earlier, but it was gone. The space had been cleared out in what appeared to be an attempt to make it more habitable. Jinx was across the way, sitting at her work table, humming something to herself as she tinkered away.

Caitlyn shot up from the couch and started to walk over to her, but when she got close to the center platform, she felt something close around her neck, and her feet flew out from under her. She fell on her ass, and Jinx cackled.

A collar had been placed around Caitlyn’s neck, made of sturdy leather. It was connected to a tether that ran all the way across the blade and was anchored into the stone wall.

Jinx took off the goggles she was wearing, pushing them up onto her forehead as she waltzed over to where Caitlyn was laying on the ground.

“Pretty neat, huh? Made it all myself. The rope is reinforced with steel wires, so you couldn’t cut through that shit without some serious clippers.”

The maniac had her tied up like a dog. Caitlyn saw red.

“Are you serious? Get this off of me!”

“Nuh uh! Look, you were the one who didn’t like being tied up. This seemed like a better solution. You can move around—I gave you way more slack than I needed to—but you’re still stuck here. With me!” She clapped her hands together.

Caitlyn sat up and pushed herself backwards so that she was no longer at the end of her rope (at least, not physically). She closed her eyes and did her best to recall what had happened to her. It was hazy. Going off the medication had messed with her head, and she could only recall snippets of what Silco had said and what Jinx had done with her. Though she did remember that Jinx had brought her pills and given one to her. That was odd.

“You gave me my meds,” Caitlyn said.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Jinx raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘why’? You were freaking the fuck out. I thought you were having a seizure or something.”

Caitlyn rubbed her forehead. “No, I wasn’t. I… I don’t really know what it was, if I’m being honest. It’s just too much for me to handle.”

“No shit. I was seriously afraid I was going to have to finger your throat to get that pill down.”

Caitlyn gagged at the thought of Jinx’s hand in her mouth.

More bits and pieces of what Silco had said were coming back to her now. “Singed didn’t give you any pills.”

“Nope! Walked outta there with a clean bill of health. Well, except for everything that was already wrong with me before I almost died, but, y’know.”

“And you’re fine?”

“I’m basically the same as I was before. ‘Cept I’m faster, stronger, etcetera.”

That couldn’t be right. Hadn’t Singed said that the same thing had gone wrong with Jinx as it had with her?

“So, no side effects at all?”

“Nope!” Jinx rubbed her chin. “Alright, I am curious, so you tell me what you’re dealing with. Maybe I’m just forgetting something.”

Caitlyn started to list off all her symptoms like she was at the doctor. She started with the good stuff: the strength, the speed, the heightened senses. Jinx nodded along, familiar with those effects. Then, she went into the bad: the pins and needles, the racing thoughts, the mood swings, the… urges. She even hesitantly admitted to hearing her mother’s voice. It was embarrassing, but it was relevant. Jinx was jotting it all down on a notepad. At least, Caitlyn thought she was. When she turned it around to show her, she had drawn a picture of Caitlyn with dog ears and a tail.

“Are you actually trying to help me or do you just want to piss me off?” Caitlyn snapped.

“Woah there, pup. Chill out.” Jinx laughed. “I am trying to help, it’s just… How do I put this?” She paced around in a circle, treading dangerously close to the edges of the fan blade. Finally, she stopped, looking down at Caitlyn. “Most of the stuff you just described has been happening to me since I was a kid. That is to say, the shimmer didn’t do that to me. Might have made it a bit worse, but it’s not the source of the problem.”

Caitlyn blinked. “What are you saying?”

Jinx raised one hand and drew circles in the air next to her head. “Well, I’m a little fucked in the head, princess. Don’t exactly got a proper diagnosis since the only doctor I’ve seen since I was 11 was the same guy who shot both of us up with untested chemicals a couple weeks ago.” Her jocular demeanor faded, her shoulders slumping. She went silent and turned her back to Caitlyn.

It made sense. Caitlyn had never thought much of it, but growing up underground certainly wasn’t easy. She had always known that the people of the undercity had it harder, and she had seen that for herself since she had gotten stuck down here. From what she had seen of Jinx, she knew that the girl was mentally unstable.

But what did that mean for her? Why was she suddenly like this?

Caitlyn closed her eyes and hummed quietly, trying to organize all the information in her mind. It would have been easier with pen and paper, but she could probably still manage it in her head. Just as she was starting to sort through it all, Jinx interrupted her.

“Are you having that much trouble putting two and two together, cupcake?”

Caitlyn winced. She didn’t like it when Jinx used Vi’s nickname for her.

“Yes, I am. Please, by all means, enlighten me,” Caitlyn responded with a flourish of her hand.

Jinx rolled her eyes. “Whatever problems you’re having now, you had before. The shimmer just exacerbated them.”

“That’s not possible. I was completely fine.”

“More like completely repressed.”

Caitlyn glared at her. “How do you know? You barely know me!”

“I’m just stating the obvious!”

Caitlyn covered her face with her hands, unwilling to accept Jinx’s declaration. “No! Nothing like this has ever happened to me before! I’ve never felt like this!”

This behavior is unacceptable, Caitlyn. We have a reputation to uphold.

Don’t you ever speak to me like that again.

If you’re having another one of your “fits”, then don’t plan on coming down for dinner.

You are a Kiramman. Stand up straight and act like it.

There’s something wrong with you.

“Shut up! Leave me alone!” Caitlyn’s hands went from her face to cover her ears. “There’s nothing wrong with me!”

Jinx stood still, watching Caitlyn with a neutral expression. She hadn’t said anything. Caitlyn was screaming at no one. At her mother, who was not there.

Slowly, in an effort not to scare her, Jinx knelt down. She reached up and gently grabbed Caitlyn’s wrists, guiding her hands away from her ears.

“It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s not real. No one else is here. It’s just us.”

Caitlyn was breathing hard and fast through her nose. She looked into Jinx’s eyes. Those deep, pink eyes that made her feel like she was looking into a mirror. She bit her lip, and hot tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“It feels real. It feels like she’s here,” she whispered.

“She’s not.” Jinx pressed their foreheads together. “I promise.”

Chapter Text

Jinx held Caitlyn until she stopped crying.

Caitlyn couldn’t remember the last time she had cried like this, let alone the last time someone had held her and comforted her. Perhaps her father, once upon a time, had done so, but the memory was so far in the past she wasn’t sure it was real.

This was real. Jinx was here, doing the best she could to cradle Caitlyn in her arms despite being half her size and stick thin.

Once Caitlyn recovered, she sat up and untangled herself from Jinx. “I’m sorry,” she said without thinking. She wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for.

“It’s okay.” Jinx leaned back and stretched her arms. “It’s my job to take care of you now.”

It was decidedly not her job. Sure, Silco had told Jinx not kill Caitlyn, but nowhere in his instructions did he tell Jinx to tend to her emotional needs. It would not be remiss of her to simply give Caitlyn enough food and water to keep her alive for the time being. Many other kidnappers had done worse.

Caitlyn wanted to question her, to dig into her mind, figure out what Jinx thought about this situation. But the day had taken a toll on her, and crying so much had thoroughly exhausted her. She wanted a glass of water and a long nap.

“You look tired,” said Jinx, standing up. “You can sleep on the couch. I cleaned it up. Do you want food or water or anything?”

“Water,” said Caitlyn, rubbing her throat.

“Gotcha.” Jinx darted off to somewhere Caitlyn couldn’t see. She heard rumbling and rattling, and then the sound of water running.

Caitlyn looked around the hideout, surveying the different areas. She could see things strewn about the different fan blades, but most of it looked like junk. Jinx returned with a metal cup full of water that she downed in one go.

This consumption of liquid raised an important question.

“Where’s the… uh… bathroom?”

Jinx pointed back towards the couch. “I put a bucket behind that curtain.”

“A bucket!?”

“Do you think there’s plumbing down here? Do you think I’m hiding a toilet from you?”

Caitlyn hadn’t considered that there might not be one at all. She couldn’t conceive of someone choosing to live in a place that didn’t have a proper toilet.

“Oh… Well then.” Caitlyn had already asked one stupid question, so she went for a second. “Where do you sleep?”

Jinx pressed a button on the center column of the fan. Chains rattled as an amalgamation of wooden boards, metal rods, and tarp fell from above. It was a hammock, and a rather cozy looking one at that. It was also dangling above the ravine below. Caitlyn’s heart leapt into her throat when she watched Jinx vault over the railing without a care in the world, landing in her suspended bed and laughing.

“You get some sleep, pup,” she said, wiggling her fingers. “I might too, but I got some work to do.”

As much as she wanted to prod Jinx some more, to figure out what her deal was, Caitlyn’s eyelids were getting heavy. She wouldn’t accomplish anything if she didn’t get some rest and give her body time to recover from everything that had happened to it over the past day.

She trudged over to the couch, wrapped herself in a shoddy blanket, and let herself sleep.

X

“Alrighty then! While you were taking your fourth nap of the day, I managed to get a little science done,” said Jinx, plopping down on the couch beside Caitlyn, who had just risen from her nap and was wiping sleep from her eyes.

Jinx had a notebook in hand that was open to a spread of pages covered in alchemical diagrams and chicken scratch notes. Caitlyn couldn’t make heads nor tails of it.

“Be warned—I’m not much of an alchemist, but I’m also not not an alchemist. I dabble in a bit of everything.” She wiggled her fingers. “But also I’ve been secretly stealing Singed’s notes since I was a kid, so you could say I learned from the best. Now, about those pills he gave you…”

Jinx launched into a complex explanation that Caitlyn never had any hope of understanding. It reminded her of the way Jayce and Viktor would talk whenever they had just made a new breakthrough. Energetic rambling with no end and no thought given to whether the people they were speaking to understood what they were saying or not. She recalled her father saying that men of science often spoke out loud to themselves, and that the layman’s job was to smile and nod and make them feel validated.

Caitlyn caught herself unconsciously doing this, and the thought crossed her mind that what Jinx was doing was actually quite impressive. She was a kid from the undercity with no formal education, but she was alchemically deconstructing medicine, identifying its components, and trying to parse how exactly it was meant to affect the body. At least, that’s what Caitlyn thought she was doing. Everything coming out of the girl’s mouth was going right over her head and down into the abyss below them.

“... everything I’ve been saying sounds like Ionian to you, doesn’t it?” Jinx suddenly asked, grinning sheepishly.

Caitlyn chuckled. “Yes. In simpler terms, perhaps?”

Jinx snapped the notebook closed.

“Alright, you’re an enforcer. Do you know what null is?”

“Null? Like the drug?”

It was one Caitlyn had heard of and learned about in the academy, but never actually seen in use. Where shimmer—which did have multiple uses—was an upper, null was a downer. The common slang term for use was “getting nullified”.

“The very one. See, null was originally made to counteract shimmer. Specific use cases were for overdoses or bad reactions. It goes into your body and hunts down the shimmer inside, and nullifies it. That’s where the name came from.”

This was news to Caitlyn. She had never heard of null being used against shimmer.

“I’m assuming these pills I was given are null, then.”

“Sorta kinda! They’re a modified version of it. It’s not usually in pill form. Aside from that, it’s not like, full-on null. Otherwise you’d be in a null hole from how much you’ve been taking each day. It’s like… diet null? Mixed with some other things. I can’t tell what those other things are supposed to do exactly, but my best guess is that they were in there to get rid of the psychoactive effects.” Jinx’s excitement faded a little as she continued to speak. “It certainly seems like it did the job for you. Hell, I even took one myself, and I did feel it working. Made me feel… slow. Weak. But there’s a pretty big problem.” She paused to look at Caitlyn. “He told you that the shit he gave us is permanent, right?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

Jinx seemed troubled, and Caitlyn searched her eyes to better understand what she was feeling. Was she also unhappy with what had been done to her?

“What we were given wasn’t normal shimmer. Normal shimmer cycles through you. The average dose is out of your system in a few hours. The stuff we have is part of us. Y’know how people always talk about the human body being 70% water? Don’t quote me on this, but I’d say that 70 percent water is now somewhere around 15 to 20 percent shimmer.”

Caitlyn did not enjoy the sound of that. Jinx pursed her lips and spat onto the palm of her hand.

“Ew.”

“Sorry, I just needed a quick example. See this?”

She held her hand up to the light. Caitlyn leaned in, and she immediately saw what Jinx wanted to show her. There was a slight pink hue to the liquid.

Jinx wiped her hand on her pants. “I could’ve saved up your pretty pink tears, but I didn’t think to do so at the time. Anyways, we’ve got a lot of this shit in our bodies. It kept us alive when we should have died, and my guess is that we need it to live. Obviously not gonna test that out, but it’s pretty likely.”

“What are you getting at, Jinx?”

“Patience, patience! I did leave out one important detail about null. It doesn’t just shut down shimmer—it eats it. It completely removes it.” She gave Caitlyn a serious look. “Do you understand what I’m getting at? Singed was feeding you a drug that eats away at the stuff in your body that’s keeping you alive. If you keep taking this stuff indefinitely, it could kill you. It’d probably start having very negative side effects before then. Much worse ones than what you have when you’re off it.”

Caitlyn stared at her. She had no reason to trust Jinx, a wanted criminal who had knocked her out not once, but twice, and was keeping her chained to a wall in her lair. It was entirely possible that Jinx was feeding her lies to get her to stop taking the medication. She wanted to weaken her mental fortitude, make her easier to manipulate.

But that didn’t make any sense to her. Not when she was convulsing on the ground and Jinx had gone to such great lengths to give her that pill. Not when she was holding a notebook full of information she had gleaned about the medication that looked entirely legit. Not when she had spoken at such length about the subject, both in technical detail and dumbed down enough for Caitlyn to understand. If this was an attempt at tricking her, it was incredibly elaborate and very detailed.

“You still there, cupcake?”

Caitlyn flinched. “Please don’t call me that.”

“Fine. I’ll come up with my own nickname anyways, and it’ll be way better!”

Jinx rose from the couch, rocked on her heels, and started towards her workbench. But she stopped in her tracks, her back to Caitlyn.

“After what happened earlier, I know it probably doesn’t feel great that I’m telling you to stop taking that stuff. And I’m a little worried too, because I don’t know what else I could’ve done to help you in that situation. I know I said I’m no alchemist, but… I’m gonna try.”

“Try what?”

“To make something else. Nullifying the shimmer works, sure, but that’s not the root cause of the problem. There’s something else happening that’s making you freak out like that, and I bet there’s a way to fix it.”

Caitlyn was baffled. Was Jinx saying that she was going to try making new medication for her? She tried to bite her tongue, but the words spilled out of her.

“Why do you even care?”

Jinx looked over her shoulder.

“Because… you’re like me. We’re the same. We might be the only two people in the world in this specific set of circumstances, and it feels wrong to just let you suffer.”

This was a level of compassion Caitlyn hadn’t expected from her. From everything she had seen and heard, Jinx was an unhinged maniac who killed without remorse. She was the type of person to put a bullet in you if you looked at her wrong. Were people exaggerating? They couldn’t be—Caitlyn knew her body count. And she had stolen a hextech gemstone that was most likely going to be used for some kind of heinous weapon.

But here she was. Acting almost like a normal girl. Caitlyn realized she couldn’t have been that much older than her either. If things were different, perhaps they would have met under better circumstances. Perhaps they could have been friends.

A dangerous thought crossed her mind—why couldn’t they be friends here and now? It was a ridiculous idea, befriending the criminal who had kidnapped her and tied her up. In the academy, they had learned how hostages could sometimes develop a fondness for their captors. It could be a form of trauma bonding, or a coping mechanism to deal with the fear created by the situation.

Caitlyn didn’t feel afraid. Irritated, sure. Uncomfortable, absolutely. But fear wasn’t part of the equation. Jinx didn’t scare her. She had been more afraid when Jinx wasn’t around. Better to have Jinx here than to be left completely alone.

It was a bit ironic. She had grown up an only child, so she was used to being left to her own devices. That didn’t mean she always enjoyed it. From a young age, she had sought out the company of others, only to be repeatedly rejected. The Kiramman name carried with it certain ideas and expectations, even among children. To many, it was intimidating. Caitlyn’s stoic demeanor and blunt way of speaking didn’t help, nor did her perfectionism. In school, her excellence isolated her. In the academy, no matter how well she did, it was chalked up to the power of her name. She could walk away from the shooting range with one of the highest scores anyone had ever seen, but her classmates would still whisper behind her back about how her family was paying for her honors.

Jayce was the closest thing to a real friend that Caitlyn had, and he was nearly a decade older than her. It was a bit sad if she thought about it for too long.

Then, wasn’t it only natural that she would crave company in a situation like this? Wasn’t it only natural that the company she craved would be the one person who understood what she had gone through? Even if that person was a criminal? Even if it was Jinx?

It would have to be Jinx. There was no one else.

X

Jinx came and went—to where and to do what, Caitlyn did not know. Sometimes she would drop a hint. Something about Silco, or Sevika, or some other string of unrecognizable names. She would leave and return multiple times in one day, at odd and inconsistent hours. Caitlyn was forced to determine that she had no routine, no schedule. Jinx flew by the seat of her pants and it seemed to work for her.

A day passed. Jinx brought her food and water, but neither of them ate very much. Caitlyn did surmise that Jinx was working on two distinct projects. The first was her alchemical experimentation in the interest of making new meds for Caitlyn. This wasn’t always active science. Jinx was bringing back a lot of books, and she would sit reading for hours on end. Caitlyn tried to pick one of them up and immediately found herself out of her depth. The impossible to parse scientific jargon made her miss Jayce.

Jinx noted her interest in the books, and she brought one specifically for Caitlyn to read.

“Issues of the Inner Self, by Dr. McWhositFuckface or whatever, I dunno,” said Jinx, handing her the tome. “Silco gave this to me a few years ago. We all knew that something was wrong with me, but I don’t think anyone knew how to talk to me about it. I didn’t want to be talked to about it. So, pops grabbed a book from Singed, and he told me to read it.”

Caitlyn opened the book, flipping through the first few pages. It was an introductory text on disorders of the mind, written for the general public in a manner that wasn’t exactly easy to read but wasn’t bogged down by overly academic language.

“I know about these kinds of things,” Caitlyn said, shutting the book. “I am—was—an enforcer, I went through the academy. They teach us about how to handle people like this.”

Jinx glared at her. “People like what? Like me? Like you? Did they tell you how to put someone having a psychotic episode in a chokehold? The quickest way to handcuff someone having a panic attack?”

“No!” Caitlyn protested, but there was a truth in her words that stung. Sure, they had learned how to help people in crisis, but they had been taught more about how to approach the situations physically, with an emphasis on protecting themselves rather than the individual. “Regardless, I wasn’t born yesterday. I don’t need this.”

“Read it, Kiramman. You might learn something new.”

And Jinx left her alone, heading out to do whatever it was she did when she wasn’t there.

Caitlyn did read the book. Not because Jinx had told her to, but because she was bored out of her mind. She had nothing to do, and she couldn’t even explore Jinx’s lair because she had her chained up like a dog.

She did already have a basic understanding of most of what was covered in the book. There were terms she had heard before, concepts she had an understanding of. But, it was all too soon that she was forced to admit Jinx had been right. She did not understand the finer details of many of the mental conditions that were described. Certain symptoms surprised her. After making it halfway through the book, she often caught herself wondering. Did she do that? Did she behave like this?

She had the urge to be a contrarian, to say that Jinx was trying to mess with her head. She was tricking Caitlyn into thinking of herself as unstable, so that she could manipulate her. This was all part of her master plan. Unfortunately, this caused a spike in paranoia, and she felt herself beginning to spiral.

The medication was gone. Jinx had used up the last few pills in her experiments. Caitlyn wasn’t sure she wanted to keep taking it anyways after what Jinx had told her. However, this meant that she was always one bad thought away from an emotional outburst.

Her mind reeled, turning over every possibility related to the intent behind Jinx giving her this book. Each theory was more outlandish than the last, but the illogical nature of the ideas didn’t stop her mind from indulging in them, believing them to be potentially true and giving them power over her. This continued until all power of reason was gone, and Caitlyn felt detached from herself, like she was bearing witness to her own body having a meltdown but could do nothing to stop it.

Then came the electricity in her veins. Shimmer, coursing through her, urging her to act.

Do something, do something, do something. Do anything! We’re going to die and we have to do something. Do something!

Caitlyn didn’t know what “something” was, but she started to come back to herself when she felt a pressure around her neck that was making it hard to breathe. Without realizing it, she had gone all the way to the end of her tether, straining against it. The collar had, of course, tightened around her throat, but her instincts were driving her forward.

Just a little more. Push harder! Go! Go! Go!

In a flash of lucidity, Caitlyn recalled something she had read in the book. Anxiety, though mental in nature, could put physical stress on the body. If one were to grow exceptionally anxious about something, the systems within them would react as if they were facing a life or death situation. Base instincts tell the mind to flee from the source of fear—even if it isn’t tangible.

She was running from nothing. Caitlyn suddenly went limp, falling backwards onto the floor, a hollow CLANG echoing through the ravine. Her heart was racing. She gasped for air now that she wasn’t straining against the collar.

She understood why Jinx had given her the book.

X

“What’s going on outside?”

Jinx raised an eyebrow. “A lot of things. Why do you wanna know?”

Caitlyn sighed. Talking to Jinx was an extreme exercise in patience. All of her interrogation training in the academy had not prepared her for the circles Jinx loved to run her in.

“I want to know about what’s been going on with me.”

Jinx smiled, but her brow furrowed in confusion. “You’re right here, pup.”

“You know what I mean!”

“By all means, enlighten me.”

Caitlyn felt herself getting a little too angry. She took a few deep breaths to recenter herself.

“What’s going on with Piltover? Have enforcers started coming into the undercity yet? Has there been anymore news about the search for me?”

“Ah, right! The missing scion of House Kiramman.” Jinx put her hands in the air and spread them apart, as if she was envisioning the words in front of her. “No, the enforcers haven’t come down here yet. At least, not into the Lanes. There are some idiots crawling through the Promenade, but they’re not making a lot of progress. Too scared of us spooky trenchers.” She examined her nails, turning her hand around and curling her fingers. “Your mom and pop put out a big reward for anyone who can find you and get you home safe. If I cared about money, I’d definitely be capitalizing on it. Lucky for you, I don’t!”

Of course. When the enforcers couldn’t provide results, they would turn to anyone to get her back. That meant that news about her was spreading into the undercity, and people there would be looking for her to get their hands on that reward. She wondered if her mother would actually hand over part of the Kiramman fortune to a trencher who dragged her back topside.

“This place is pretty well-hidden, right?” Caitlyn asked.

“Don’t you even start worrying about anyone finding you!” Jinx leaned over and tapped her nose, causing Caitlyn to scrunch up her face. “The only people who know about this place are me, Silco, and Sevika. And… Well, that doesn’t matter anymore. He wouldn’t come down here again.”

The mischievous look in her eyes faded, and suddenly Jinx was somewhere else. In another time, perhaps. Then, she came right back with a jolt.

“Anywho! You’re super duper safe, pup.”

Pup. After Caitlyn had asked her to, Jinx swapped out Vi’s nickname for one of her own creation. She said it with more kindness, though it still irked her prisoner. The tether, the collar. It was degrading. She was being treated like an animal.

She couldn’t deny that she felt like one at times. Off the meds, her body was often not under her own control. When her mind went, it followed eagerly and without asking for permission. Thankfully, Jinx had not been around to witness most of those moments. They usually occurred when she was gone, when Caitlyn was alone.

That was how it had always been, she realized. Caitlyn was always alone. As a child, she had no friends to speak of, and her parents were frequently out on business, be it related to the Council or their own arms manufacturing business. Cassandra had vehemently opposed getting a proper au pair or nanny, as she didn’t want another mother figure in the home. The servants were charged with watching her, and they were kind to her and kept her in good condition, but they were not her friends.

Caitlyn was raised in isolation and molded to fit right into her mother’s shadow. When she was in public, she dutifully played along. When she was in private…

She was forced to contend with the fact that she did not remember large swaths of her childhood. There were vague ideas of what she had been like, and of course the major events stood out. She remembered the first time she held a gun, the first time she fired one. The first shooting competition she won. But outside of that, what was there? Being paraded about in public, a councillor’s brilliant daughter. She had been to so many ridiculous events and fancy parties in the course of her life that they all blurred together in her memories.

In between all the parties and lessons and competitions and ceremonies, there were the hours that Caitlyn was by herself, and she could barely remember them.

She had told Jinx this, to see if she felt similarly. The answer was no—Jinx’s childhood was a brutally formative period of her life. She could never forget any of it. It still haunted her today. Yet another stark contrast between the two girls from two cities. Jinx didn’t even have to point out that this was a result of their dramatically different upbringings. Caitlyn understood that it was almost a luxury not to remember, even if it didn’t feel that way.

“Who was talking to you?” Jinx asked suddenly.

“What?” Caitlyn responded, confused. They had been sitting in silence for a while. Jinx was messing with a pile of scrap metal, and Caitlyn was staring off into space, ruminating and reflecting.

“When I first brought you here, and you were freaking out. I mean, it’s not really my place to ask, and you don’t have to tell me,” she said, her voice growing quieter with each word.

Caitlyn thought it was an interesting way to phrase the question. The reality was that no one had been talking to her. It was an auditory hallucination. The way Jinx spoke about it betrayed something about how she interpreted her own experiences. It told Caitlyn that people talked to her, too.

“My mother,” she replied. “I wouldn’t call it… talking. It was more like I was hearing things she had said to me in the past. She’s always wanted me to be the best version of myself, and I’ve kind of kept her in my head for as long as I can remember. ‘Do this, Caitlyn. Don’t do that, Caitlyn.’ It’s… not always helpful. Probably pretty harmful sometimes.”

Jinx scoffed. “Certainly pretty harmful if she had you screaming and crying like that.”

Caitlyn just nodded. She wasn’t sure if she should continue the conversation or not, so she waited for Jinx to make the decision for her. Jinx turned back to her tinkering, plucking bits and pieces out and holding them up to see if they would fit together. Caitlyn assumed she was going to let the topic drop, but she started talking as she worked.

“A lot of people talk to me,” she said, almost matter of factly. She had engrossed herself in her work, and her voice was devoid of emotion. “My brothers. They died. Vander. He died. Vi… I thought she died.”

“You hear Vi?”

There was a loud clattering as Jinx swept her arms across the desktop and knocked everything she had been doing onto the floor. Some of the parts bounced and rolled until they fell off into the abyss. Caitlyn jumped backwards, alarmed by the sudden change in her demeanor.

Jinx stepped over to a box beside the handrail, plucked two hand grenades from it, pulled the pins with her teeth, and hurled them over the edge. She roared through gritted teeth as they exploded beneath the fan, the force gently shaking the structure.

“She didn’t tell you much about me, did she?” Jinx asked, chest heaving.

“N-no, not much.”

“Of course not! Why would she be open and honest? Why would she tell her goody-two-shoes enforcer girlfriend about all the horrible shit she’s done? That would ruin everything!” Jinx shoved her hand into the box, ripping out another grenade and chucking it down as hard as she could. Another boom.

Caitlyn didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t sure if she should say anything.

“Y’know, that week after we both got royally fucked up by the good doctor? I was trying to hunt you down. I thought you had gone back up top, gone home to cry to mommy and daddy about how terrible the trenchers treated you. I went inside your fucking house.”

That sent chills down Caitlyn’s spine. Her parents had been in danger, and they likely hadn’t realized it. And no one had been there to protect them.

“My plan… My plan was that I was going to get you, and get Vi, and even get Silco, and we were all gonna have a big party together!” She was smiling, but it was almost like she wasn’t even talking to Caitlyn anymore. “And Vi would get to pick between you and me . I was going to give Powder back to her…” She raked her fingers down her face, and the manic fury was traded for hurt and regret. “But that’s not even something I could have done. Powder’s gone. Powder fell down a well. She can’t come back. It’s just me now.”

“Jinx—”

“WHAT!? What could you possibly want from me ? The little Piltie princess who has everything! Mom and dad are dropping a fortune to find her! Oh, you know what? Maybe my sister will grow a brain and figure out where I live! She’ll be your knight in shining armor, coming down to the depths to beat the shit out of her sister and leave her all alone yet again!”

Talking about Vi had triggered Jinx, and now she was losing control. It terrified Caitlyn, but it also struck a chord with her. She felt like she was seeing herself from the outside—and not in a dissociative way. Is this what she looked like to Jinx when she broke down?

More importantly, Caitlyn was starting to piece together what had happened between the two sisters. Details were missing, but the picture was clearer. Vi had hurt Jinx, and then left her alone. Likely when she was being hauled off to Stillwater, but it had left an impact on her sister. One that had shaped her entire life. Made her into what she was now.

The words left Caitlyn’s mouth before she could consider the gravity of what she was saying.

“Jinx, I’m not going to leave you. I promise.”

Jinx went stiff.

“You will. Everyone does, whether they want to or not. I’m a jinx .”

“I won’t, I swear.” Caitlyn swallowed, recalling what Jinx had said to her a few days prior. “Why would I? We’re the same.”

Jinx’s head whipped around, her braids following the movement in a manner that was quite mesmerizing. Pink eyes met pink eyes. Caitlyn saw so much pain and loneliness, but she also saw something else.

She saw herself in Jinx, and she could tell that Jinx saw herself in her.

Chapter Text

They were the same.

Jinx had been the first to say it, and Caitlyn hadn’t quite known what to think about it then. She had settled on a surface level interpretation. They had, in fact, undergone the same experimental medical procedure. Internally, they were the same, bonded together by the shimmer in their veins.

But that’s not what Caitlyn had meant when she said it.

“You really mean that,” Jinx said. The tone of her voice made it sound like she couldn’t believe it, but she desperately wanted to. But it didn’t sound like a question. It was a solid statement. A fact.

“I do.”

Caitlyn winced at the sound of her own voice. It wasn’t like her to speak without thinking. Thinking was what she was good at. Careful, calculated thinking. She wanted to believe that this was something else talking, something conjured up by the shimmer, but she could feel that this was coming from somewhere deeper.

She felt like she couldn’t lie to Jinx. The thought of doing so made her heart ache. Why would she even consider doing something so cruel? Especially when she was vulnerable like this. Caitlyn felt like she was handling a live bomb, and the slightest error would set it off, destroying her and everything around her. At the same time, she felt like she was holding a piece of her mother’s finest china, and that it would shatter into a million pieces if she so much as looked at it wrong.

“You do?”

It was a question this time, and it was so soft and quiet and Jinx’s voice cracked as it escaped her lips. She sounded so small, like a child. Something stirred in Caitlyn, and she started towards Jinx, but she was quickly reminded of the collar around her neck as she hit the end of the rope and was yanked backwards, falling on her ass for the nth time since she had been restrained like this.

Jinx rushed over to her, kneeling down to make sure that she was okay. Caitlyn felt a slight shame. She had been trying to comfort Jinx, and now Jinx was comforting her. Jinx reached out, her hand moving towards the collar, but Caitlyn grabbed her wrist. The younger girl flinched, but she didn’t try to pull away.

Caitlyn closed her eyes and pressed Jinx’s hand to the side of her face. She leaned into her palm, nuzzling against it.

Jinx’s skin was surprisingly soft for someone who spent so much time working with her hands. Her hand was so much smaller than Caitlyn’s, her fingers thin and her touch featherlight. The palm of her glove was well-worn, and the soft leather smelled of grease and solder.

The world was silent. Caitlyn could hear Jinx’s heart thumping in her chest. She inhaled long and slow through her nose. It was an exaggerated breath, her shoulders rising and then falling as she exhaled. She repeated this, over and over, until she heard Jinx’s breathing align with hers and her pounding heart was calmed.

Caitlyn couldn’t be sure how long they stayed like that. She kept her eyes shut and leaned against Jinx’s hand. At one point, she let go of Jinx’s arm, giving the girl an out if she wanted to take it—and she didn’t. She kept her hand pressed to Caitlyn’s face, even going so far as to stroke her cheek with her thumb. Then, her hand slipped higher, and her fingers sank into Caitlyn’s midnight blue hair. It was not at its best. She hadn’t bathed in several days, and it was exceedingly greasy. But Jinx ran her fingers through it anyways, nails lightly scratching against her scalp. She did it again. And again. And again.

“We didn’t have pets growing up,” said Jinx. Caitlyn opened her eyes. She hadn’t stopped playing with her hair. “I mean, there were certainly animals all around, but we didn’t keep any of them. Just another mouth to feed. I played with strays a lot.”

There was a very clear insinuation behind her words that Caitlyn did not have to work hard to pick up on. Something in the back of her mind was telling her to be angry, to smack Jinx’s hand away and assert herself. Reclaim her pride, her dignity.

This is unbecoming of a woman of your station.

Caitlyn ignored her mother’s voice and closed her eyes.

“We had a few dogs. Hunting dogs,” she murmured.

Her head bobbed slightly as Jinx’s hand slid through her hair, gently pulling it up and then letting it fall again.

“Of course. Fancy rich people dogs.”

“Mmm.”

“Were they good? At the hunting stuff, I mean.”

“Yes, quite. Father trained them well. And they were pretty mean guard dogs, too.”

Caitlyn recalled how they would bark and snarl at any stranger who entered the manor. Her mother got fed up with it after a while, and they were eventually put out in the garden whenever they expected company.

The memory was wiped away by another stroke of Jinx’s hand. Caitlyn’s lips parted, and she let out a content sigh. Her mother’s voice faded away until it was imperceptible to her, and she felt a warmth swelling in her chest.

When Jinx finally pulled her hand away, Caitlyn leaned forward, desperate for her touch. The rope tensed, and she could move no further forward.

Jinx reached into her pocket and pulled out a strange looking instrument. She reached both arms around Caitlyn’s neck. There was a soft click , and then the tension was gone.

Caitlyn fell forward into Jinx, instinctively wrapping her arms around the smaller girl as they fell to the floor together.

“I’m not going to leave you,” Caitlyn repeated. I don’t think I could.

Caitlyn felt Jinx relax in her arms as she started to cry. The bomb did not detonate, and the porcelain did not shatter. She would be sure of that.

X

Jinx had cried herself to sleep in Caitlyn’s arms. Caitlyn didn’t want to attempt to place her in the deathtrap of a hammock that she called a bed, so she took her to the couch instead. Once Jinx was comfortably tucked in, Caitlyn sat down on the floor in front of the couch. Her hand went up to her neck. The leather collar was still there, but the rope lay detached in front of her, snaking across the fan blade.

She was no longer bound here. At least, not physically. There was no way she could leave. Not after what she had said and done. It would have been so easy to just get up and walk out, leaving Jinx and everything about her behind.

But she couldn’t. The rope that had been tethered to her neck was now replaced by one she had put around her own heart. She couldn’t bear to imagine how Jinx would react if she left. Caitlyn would become another face in the long line of people that had left her behind. She would be proving her right—telling her that she was a jinx.

She couldn’t do that. A tangle of emotions swelled in her chest.

Confusion. Why was she acting like this? Why was she suddenly so concerned for the very criminal she had been trying to catch?

Empathy. They were the same. Jinx was the only person in the world who could truly understand what Caitlyn was going through.

Compassion. She had always had a bleeding heart, always wanted to help. No matter what Jinx had done, she was clearly in need, and Caitlyn didn’t trust Silco to properly care for her.

Anger. Towards the people who had hurt Jinx in the past, leaving her like this. Towards Vi? She wasn’t sure.

Doubt. Perhaps the shimmer was affecting her more than she thought, hampering her ability to make the right decisions. She wasn’t sure she was in her right mind anymore.

Fear. Was this all a huge mistake? Would she come to regret the choices she had made—the things she had said?

Disappointment. With herself, with the way that she had spoken without thinking. She had to be more careful with her words.

Embarrassment. The way she had behaved with Jinx set her face aflame. It had felt good—felt right— but it was still mortifying to think she had let Jinx treat her like her pet.

Like a dog.

Caitlyn pulled her knees to her chest and buried her head in her arms. It was humiliating. But why was it? She hadn’t felt disrespected. If anything, she felt like she was being cared for (despite the fact that she was the one trying to comfort Jinx). Jinx had not mocked her, or even said anything mean. The look in her eyes had been so earnest, her touch so gentle. And Caitlyn had loved it.

She looked over her shoulder at the sleeping girl. She wanted her to wake up and do it again, to play with her hair and hold her face and drive away the memories of her mother’s voice.

Her mother’s voice, which was creeping back into her skull. The humiliation resided with her, with the way she had raised Caitlyn to care so much about her image. This behavior was unacceptable for a Kiramman. To bow her head to a murderer from the undercity? She should be above this.

You're a councillor's daughter. Your actions reflect on the entire body.

Caitlyn balled her hands into fists. How many times had she been told that over the course of her two decades on this earth? When she was younger, she didn’t really understand it. It was just something her mother said to get her to behave. When she got older, she understood what it meant, and it made her angry. On top of everything she already did to appease her mother, she also bore the burden of wearing a mask to keep her family name clean. She had to fight for every inch of leeway she got, and most of those inches were put towards allowing her to attend the academy to become an enforcer. It was the one thing she had been able to choose for herself, and even that had been ripped away from her in the end.

She felt like she wanted to break something. She was hitting her boiling point again, and she understood why Jinx had gone straight to tossing grenades into the ravine. She was full of steam, and it had to get blown off somewhere.

The itching, the sharp pains, the noise in her head. She tried to do the same breathing exercise she had done with Jinx, but it didn’t work. She couldn’t slow herself down enough. Her eyes darted around in a panic, searching for anything she could use to stop the meltdown from occurring.

Then, she saw Jinx, sleeping so peacefully, and had one, clear thought: I don’t want to wake her.

And, just like that, the feeling began to ebb. Her heartbeat slowed, her breathing steadied, and she felt the tension leave her body.

Every time she recovered from an episode like this, Caitlyn felt exhausted. Her muscles ached and her eyelids grew heavy. She laid her head on the edge of the couch, right by Jinx’s stomach, and quickly fell asleep.

X

When Caitlyn woke, Jinx was gone, and she flew into a brief panic until she whipped her head around and saw the girl sitting at her workstation. She let out a sigh of relief.

Her neck was stiff from the position she had fallen asleep in, so she rolled her head around on her shoulders and flexed her back before rising to her feet. Once more, she looked at the rope lying on the floor. Jinx had released her. She was free to walk all the way down the blade of the fan and onto the center platform where Jinx was messing with a load of foul smelling chemicals. The stuff was hissing and bubbling and she was handling it all with fingerless gloves, but at least she had on goggles.

“Ah, you’re awake!” Jinx shouted when she noticed Caitlyn approaching. She took a quick look at an open book on the table beside her, then back at the alchemical concoction before her. “I got my hands on some more books about medicinal stuff. Honestly, I feel a little silly for not studying up on this stuff earlier. I mess around with chemtech a lot, but this is the first time I’m learning more about the ‘chem’ side of things.”

It was clear from the surrounding environment that Jinx was more engineer than scientist. However, she knew Jinx had cracked hextech with nothing more than Jayce’s notes, a gemstone, and some scrap, so it wasn’t inconceivable that she would pick this up just as quickly.

Caitlyn rubbed her eyes. “What day is it?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’m not actually sure. I haven’t been outside in a while.”

It was permanently dark down in Jinx’s lair, allowing for no concept of day or night or the passage of time. Caitlyn had taken so many stress-induced naps of indeterminable lengths that she wasn’t even sure how long she had been there.

Jinx pushed the goggles up to her forehead and spun around on her stool before hopping off of it. She walked around the center pillar and Caitlyn followed, eager to see a new side of the hideout.

On the far side of the pillar, she could see the stone steps leading up and out of the ravine. The exit, so tantalizingly close. Caitlyn wasn’t even tempted to flee, which concerned her, but she shoved the thought aside.

Jinx might not have had proper plumbing, but she did have a pneuma-tube, as well as a mechanical clock calendar.

“Thursday!” said Jinx, tapping the date. “And it’s 4 AM.”

Caitlyn had been there for almost a week. It felt both longer and shorter than that.

“I’m glad you asked, because I’ve got work to do today. Gotta go check in with pops later.”

Something tugged at Caitlyn’s heart. Jinx was leaving her alone again. At least she wouldn’t be tied up anymore, but she didn’t like the idea of being down here by herself. Jinx seemed to notice her disappointment, and she frowned.

“I wish I could take you with me, pup, but the Lanes are filthy with enforcers right now. Not to mention everybody and their mother is after the reward your folks put up.” She lifted her hand, fingertips brushing against Caitlyn’s arm before falling back to her side. “You’re safer down here.”

She didn’t even imply that Caitlyn might try to escape while she was gone. It was like the thought hadn’t crossed her mind at all. It hadn’t really crossed Caitlyn’s, to be fair.

Jinx weaved past her, heading back to her science experiment.

“I’ve been trying to work on mixing up something that might help with your little freak outs, but it’s obviously nowhere near ready. If it was just as easy as grabbing some kind of anti-anxiety meds to calm you down, I would have done that, but I tried some myself and it seems like we don’t metabolize things like normal people.” She shuffled around some papers on her desk before retrieving a small glass bottle. “You’re not gonna like this, but I think it might tide you over in the meantime.”

Caitlyn crossed her arms. “What is it?”

“A shimmer variant. A very weak one.”

“I don’t want to put any more of that shit in my body,” Caitlyn said coldly.

“You don’t have to! You just uncap the bottle and give it a sniff. It’s an inhalant. It just relaxes you, makes you feel good. There are lotsa use cases for it, but most folks down here use it to get people to relax when they’re treating injuries, or to get someone to calm down fast if they’re tweaking. It only lasts for a couple minutes.”

Caitlyn wasn’t sure how she felt about this. Doing one drug to combat the side effects of another didn’t feel great—especially not when it was, essentially, more of the same drug. But she had blindly taken the meds Singed had given her without even questioning what was in them. At least Jinx was explaining things to her.

Jinx sat the bottle down on the table, her manically cheerful smile fading into something softer. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to, but I also don’t want you to hurt yourself.” Her gaze flicked towards the rope so quickly that Caitlyn almost missed the movement. “I’ll leave it right here, and you can use it if you need it.”

Caitlyn looked at Jinx, at the rope, at the bottle.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

She wasn’t sure if she was thanking Jinx for removing the restraints or not trying to force more shimmer on her. It didn’t really matter. Jinx’s smile brightened back to its usual levels of brilliance.

“You’re welcome! Now, I’m going to work on this a little more before I have to go.”

Jinx popped her goggles back on and returned to her stool. As she started firing up a burner and flipping through a book at the same time, Caitlyn sat down on the ground nearby, her back against the railing. She watched Jinx work, fascinated by seeing her genius in action. That someone so brilliant was able to come out of this wretched environment. She admired Jinx, and she wondered how many other prodigies were hidden within the undercity, doing what they could with the scraps they had.

She thought of Jayce and Viktor, the latter of which was lucky enough to make it out of the undercity and into the academy. She imagined another world where Jinx had the same luck. How different would her life be? Would their paths have crossed? Would her family be sponsoring Jinx’s work? Would she be standing guard outside her tent on Progress Day?

Caitlyn let her imagination run wild, envisioning a world where she met Jinx under different circumstances and they bonded over different things.

Chapter Text

Caitlyn had been let off her leash, and she was free to explore Jinx’s lair while the blue-haired girl was off doing gods only knew what for Silco. She wandered around the metal death trap that Jinx called home, marveling at how she'd managed to turn the place into something mildly livable. There was no reason that she had to live down here, but she had chosen to.

It said something about Jinx. She craved independence and a place to call home. At the same time, she intentionally isolated herself, hiding away in one of the darkest corners of an already dark corner of the undercity. The place was a mess, but it was an organized chaos. She had seen Jinx at work, plucking things out of piles like she knew exactly what she wanted and where to get it.

Then there was the decor. It was crude. Childish, even. But it was so very Jinx. Caitlyn had long been familiar with her style, having first seen it at the hexgate, and then again on Progress Day. It was loud and distinct. There was no mistaking it for anything else. Her calling card.

It was impossible for Caitlyn to avoid thinking about Jinx’s role as a crucial part of an organized crime empire. She was surrounded by evidence. If she was still her old self, this would be a gold mine.

Rather than lingering on Jinx, that thought caused her to turn inwards. Perhaps it was finally time to reflect on her own ideals. After all, she wasn’t really in a position to uphold them anymore—at least, not in the same way she had in the past. No matter how things played out, it was highly unlikely that she would ever be reinstated as an enforcer. Even in the best case scenario, her parents would never let her go back.

If she wasn’t an enforcer, who was she? Caitlyn had dedicated her life to her career, fought for it with every ounce of her being. In an attempt to distance herself from simply being a Kiramman, she had defined her identity through her passion for law enforcement. She wanted to be the next Grayson, shooting to protect the people of Piltover.

For the first time since her near-death experience, Caitlyn let herself accept that the plan she had laid out for her life was no longer viable.

It hurt.

It wasn’t just the pain of realizing her dream had shattered. She was forced to contend with the fact that she had no backup plan. If she wasn’t an enforcer, she was just a Kiramman—and could she even be that anymore?

Jinx had let her loose. If she felt like it, she could walk right out of here and into the arms of someone who would whisk her away, putting her right back into her family's hands.

And what would they do with her? She looked in Jinx’s broken mirror, examining herself. The dirt and grime could be washed away. Some shampoo and conditioner would restore the sheen to her hair. But no amount of medicine or makeup could fix her. Her skin, her eyes. Her mind.

You look terrible.

Caitlyn felt sick. The uncertainty was getting to her. She gripped the edge of the counter, locking eyes with herself.

What’s wrong with you?

Caitlyn’s fist slammed into the already shattered mirror. Shards of glass dug into her knuckles, but she barely felt it. She only felt the wet warmth of blood dripping down between her fingers. No pain.

Her hand trembled as she pulled it back. She stared at her wounded fist for a moment.

Come home.

The voice had softened. Caitlyn looked at the exit, at the door, just a hundred or so yards away.

We can fix this. There’s still time. You can still come home.

“No… You can’t fix it. This can’t be fixed.”

I can. I can fix anything. I’ve done it before, and I’ll do it again. I can fix you.

“You can’t!”

Come home. I’ll take care of you.

Caitlyn reached down and ripped one of the bits of glass from her knuckles, flinging it across the space.

“No you won’t! You never did!” Caitlyn wailed. “Not once! I can’t remember a single time that you were the one who took care of me!”

Do not speak to me in that tone!

Caitlyn grabbed a screwdriver from the workbench and hurled it in the direction that the voice was coming from. It clattered against the metal floor and skidded off the edge, dropping into the abyss below. She immediately felt bad that she had carelessly thrown away one of Jinx’s tools.

Why do you care? She’s beneath you.

Caitlyn roared, gripping her head with both of her hands.

“SHUT UP!”

The weight of her mother’s expectations came crashing down on her, and she fell to her knees. Blood from her hand seeped into her hair and trickled down the side of her face.

She could walk outside right then and there. Someone would catch her, take her home, and her mother would try to salvage the broken pieces of her only daughter. Somehow, she would be molded back into the Kiramman that the world expected her to be, and she would live out the rest of her life trapped in that massive house. Alone.

The thought made her ache all over. She bent over and screamed again. Memories of a thousand nights spent alone flooded her mind. No one but her and the servants. And the dogs. When she got older, she would sneak girls in, knowing that she would be punished for doing so but desperate for the company. Anything to fill that void. If she was caught in the act, not only would she suffer the consequences, but whatever poor girl she had brought home would also be disrespected and degraded, and she would never see her again. The only times she felt like herself were when she wasn’t at home, but leaving the house only served to remind her of who she was and who she couldn’t be.

Being an enforcer had been her lifeline. Her mother had managed to ruin even that, and now it was all gone.

It’s over, Caitlyn. Come home.

I love you.

There’s something wrong with you.

Caitlyn slammed her bloody fist against the floor, causing the entire structure to shudder and rattle.

“I can’t. I can’t. I can’t,” she repeated to herself over and over. “I can’t go back. I can’t. I can’t.”

She said it over and over until it didn’t sound like she was saying anything. She couldn’t stop. She was trembling. The pain and numbness was back, pricking at her insides. Ironically, she still couldn’t feel anything from the cuts on her knuckles. There were still a few pieces of the mirror embedded in her skin.

The bottle. Jinx had left the bottle of shimmer on the table. She said it would help. She hadn’t wanted to use it, but she forgot how bad it felt. She would do anything to make it stop.

She dragged herself across the platform, reached up, and plucked the bottle from the counter. With twitching hands, she unscrewed the cap and immediately pushed the opening under her nose.

At first it smelled sickly sweet, and it became clear that the fragrance was there to cover up the harsh chemical odor beneath it. Caitlyn could care less. The fumes worked fast. They numbed her in a pleasant way, making her feel light and warm. Her muscles relaxed. She felt like she was floating.

It was over as soon as it had begun, though it felt like time had dilated somewhere in the middle, and she was still a little hazy after the high had passed. She screwed the cap back on the bottle and put it back in its place. Once again, Jinx hadn't lied to her. It worked just like she had described.

She couldn’t go back home. That much was clear. Caitlyn felt more comfortable in Jinx’s sorry excuse for a home than she ever had in the house she was born and raised in. She hadn’t showered in a week, there was no real bathroom, and her host had kept her chained to the wall with a collar around her neck. And yet, it was better than the alternative.

Because, no matter how she showed it, Jinx actually cared. She was making an effort. Something horrible had happened to Caitlyn—to both of them—and she was doing what she could to help, at no benefit to her.

Caitlyn was better off here than she was with her own family. It was heartbreaking.

But it was also freeing. The weight of her name dropped from her shoulders. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do next, but it didn’t involve being a Kiramman.

At that moment, she heard the creaking metal sound of the door opening, and Jinx was back. Caitlyn jumped up and practically ran over to greet her.

“Woah, pup, settle down—Holy shit, Cait, what happened to you?”

Caitlyn had nearly forgotten that she was still covered in blood.

“Oh, shit, sorry. I broke your… broken mirror? More?”

Jinx grabbed her wounded hand, inspecting the cuts across her knuckles.

“Fuck the mirror. Come here.”

Jinx led her around the central platform to where the mirror was. She made Caitlyn sit on a stool as she bent down and opened a small cabinet under the counter. She pulled out a set of tweezers, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a needle and thread, and a roll of bandages. She worked methodically, like she had done this many times before.

First, she picked out the remaining bits of glass with the tweezers. Caitlyn still didn’t feel much outside of the sensation of the shards leaving her skin. Then, Jinx reached for the bottle of alcohol and held a cloth to the top of it as she turned it bottom up.

“This is probably going to sting. A lot,” she said, the damp cloth hovering above Caitlyn’s hand.

Caitlyn nodded, urging her to continue.

To say it stung was an incredible understatement. Shimmer did not seem to counteract the fiery pain of putting alcohol directly on an open wound. Her fingers felt like they were going to burn off. She bit down on the inside of her cheek, desperately trying to hide the fact that she was in so much pain. Tears threatened to spill over.

“Bad?” Jinx asked, looking up at her.

Caitlyn kept her jaw clamped shut, but she nodded. Jinx tried to finish cleaning the wounds as quickly as possible.

The stinging remained even after Jinx sat the cloth aside. She held Caitlyn’s hand in hers, inspecting the severity of the cuts.

“Hmm. I think only one or two of these needs stitches,” she said, pointing to a couple particularly nasty gashes. “Shouldn’t be as bad as the alcohol.”

Jinx had incredibly steady hands. It had to come from her years of experience working on machinery. Her sutures weren’t particularly impressive, but they were effective and neatly done.

“Have you done this before?” Caitlyn asked.

“A few times. Mostly to myself.” She snipped the thread and tied off the last stitch. “I try to avoid seeing Singed if I can.”

“Is he the only doctor down here?”

“No, but he’s the one Silco trusts the most. Whenever I got sick or hurt, it was off to see Doctor Creepy. Never a fun time, I can assure you.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

Jinx unrolled a length of bandage and started to wrap it around Caitlyn’s hand, threading it between her fingers. Once the wounds were covered, she cut the bandage and made sure it was tightly secured.

“There! All good.” Jinx looked up at her. “You still look like shit, though.”

Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “Thanks.”

“The good news is I had already planned on taking you to get cleaned up today. Sorry it took so long. I just wasn’t sure if I could…” Jinx trailed off, eyes drifting down to the collar around Caitlyn’s neck.

Trust her. Jinx wasn’t sure if she could let Caitlyn off her leash without her trying to run away.

“Do you… Do you want me to take that off?” Jinx asked.

Caitlyn’s heart skipped a beat. She raised a hand to her neck, fingers fumbling with the thick strap of leather around her neck. It was secured in the back with some kind of buckle that Caitlyn hadn’t been able to undo herself. She had thought about the day before, how it had felt when Jinx held her face, ran her fingers through her hair. Her face felt warm.

“N-no,” she said quietly. “It’s fine.”

Caitlyn was surprised to see Jinx also looking a little flustered.

“Right,” she said quickly, averting her eyes. Nothing else was said on the matter. “Well, let’s go get you a bath.”

Jinx headed for the door.

“Outside? Is that safe?”

“What, you don’t trust me? C’mon, pup, I’m not gonna put you in harm’s way.”

Caitlyn took a deep breath and followed Jinx outside.

Jinx’s lair was directly connected to the web of subterranean tunnels that tied the undercity together. Ventilation, plumbing, sewage, and so on. It was clear that Jinx had become an expert at using them to her advantage. Caitlyn was sure that she could even use them to get into Piltover if she wanted to.

She followed Jinx through a maze of twists, turns, and ladders until they came to a stop beneath a manhole cover. She signaled for Caitlyn to stand back as she shifted the cover to the side, scanning the street above for any signs of danger. After a moment, she gave the all clear and hopped out, extending a hand down to pull Caitlyn up with her.

Shockingly, Caitlyn knew exactly where they were. They were in the back alley, behind Babette’s. Jinx stepped up to the back door, knocked twice, and the slot popped open. The eyes that peeked through narrowed upon seeing Jinx, but went wide with recognition when they spotted Caitlyn. After a few seconds of the sounds of locks coming undone, the door flew open, and Ral stood before them.

“Caitlyn! Gods, we thought Sevika had killed you!”

“Psh, like I would let that happen,” said Jinx, rolling her eyes.

Caitlyn glared at her. “No, this one was the one who actually got me.”

“Got you? I’ve been keeping you safe!”

“Shut up and get inside!” Ral hissed. Once they were in the brothel, he slammed the door shut and redid all the locks. “What’re you doing back here?”

Jinx looked at him like he was stupid. “She needs a bath, dipshit.”

He seemed thoroughly annoyed by her, but unwilling to actually respond to her jabs.

The younger girl clearly knew her way around, as she started up the stairs without waiting for him to give them any further instruction. Caitlyn started to follow, but she looked back at Ral.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m doing fine. Better, even,” she said quietly.

Ral didn’t seem to fully believe her, but he nodded and let her go without pressing any further.

Caitlyn never thought she would be so relieved to be back inside a brothel. She had only been at Babette’s for a couple of weeks, but everyone who worked there had been unbelievably kind to her. She wished her time with them hadn’t come to such an abrupt end.

The minute they stepped into the baths, Caitlyn felt all the stress melt out of her body. The steam from the water wrapped around her like a blanket, and the familiar smell of incense put her at ease. She started towards the showers, but Jinx stayed back in the public baths.

“I’m going to run a bath for myself,” said Jinx, starting to undo the buckle on the back of her halter top. “Definitely could use a little soak after everything I’ve been up to.” She looked over her shoulder at Caitlyn. “Go clean up, but feel free to join me if you’d like.”

Caitlyn was stunned. The idea of sharing a bath with Jinx set her face on fire and made her heat up in other places. It got worse when she watched Jinx’s top fall to the floor, exposing her bare back. Caitlyn’s eyes traced the curves of the cloud tattoos that covered her right side.

“O-of course,” she said, and then realized she had basically taken her up on her offer without thinking.

She spun around and disappeared into the private showers before she could do anything else stupid. As she disrobed, stowed her clothes, and grabbed towels, soaps, and hair products, she couldn’t stop thinking about Jinx. She scrubbed herself viciously, as if she could wash away her own thoughts, or the way she was feeling. She was embarrassed, yes, but also a bit worried. She couldn’t let this turn out the way things had gone with Vi. That hunger was still buried within her, waiting to pounce. She couldn’t do that to Jinx. She couldn’t ruin what she had with her.

What did she have with her? Caitlyn realized she was starting to think about her relationship with Jinx in ways that were rather presumptive. Next to nothing had actually happened between them, other than the one particular event that they seemed to be dancing around discussing. Caitlyn had decided that she liked it, knew that she wanted more of it, but what if it had made Jinx uncomfortable? What if she regretted touching her the way she had?

Caitlyn shook her head, water droplets flying from her hair. No, she couldn’t make assumptions. Especially not about Jinx, who was so deeply unpredictable. Perhaps this was just another way of playfully messing with her. She was just teasing Caitlyn, trying to fluster her.

It was working.

The water ran red as Caitlyn washed the blood from her hair. She shampooed once, twice, three times to ensure that her midnight locks would return to their silky clean state. A bit of conditioner, and she was done.

She was done, and Jinx was waiting in the bath.

Caitlyn wrapped herself in a towel as she stepped out of the shower. The space that held the baths had two distinct areas. In the center of the room, there were a few open tubs. Around the edges, there were less exposed pools, separated by wooden dividers. Not entirely private, but not completely out in the open.

Jinx was in one of the side baths. Her body was submerged beneath the steaming water, but her head was resting in one of the rounded divots in the tile, a hot towel laid over her eyes. It was a position Caitlyn had never expected to see her in. She almost looked… normal.

Caitlyn didn’t consider herself shy. She wasn’t a virgin, and she had been naked in front of plenty of other women in her lifetime. Hell, at the academy, she often had to take public showers with the other female cadets. Despite this, she was suddenly feeling uncharacteristically bashful. She was thankful that Jinx had her eyes covered as she dropped her towel and slipped into the water.

Jinx did not move despite the disturbance in the water. Caitlyn sunk down, hiding herself beneath the surface. She splashed a bit of water on her face, using some of it to slick back her hair before she, too, laid her head back in one of the divots, closing her eyes and exhaling slowly.

Nervousness aside, the bath felt amazing. The shower had been pleasant, washing away all the filth that had been clinging to her and leaving her feeling refreshed. The bath was equally rejuvenating, but in a different way. It put her at ease, quieted her mind, and let her momentarily forget all her problems.

Just like she had felt when Jinx had touched her.

Her eyes shot open as the memory was pulled back to the front of her mind. Why couldn’t she let it go? Hadn’t other women touched her like that in the past?

The answer, though Caitlyn was loath to admit it, was no. Most of her past encounters had been exclusively for sex. One night stands, recurring hookups, and so on. Every time she tried to get serious with a girl, it fell apart in one way or another. Usually due to her name. The idea of being with a Kiramman was intimidating. It came with certain expectations and responsibilities, and she had never found anyone who was willing to make those sacrifices.

Caitlyn was not embarrassed that she had found so much pleasure in letting Jinx treat her like a pet—she was embarrassed that it was getting her so hot and bothered when Jinx had hardly done anything to her. The most innocent of touches was driving her crazy, and she couldn’t even bring herself to talk to the girl about it.

And yet, here they were. Naked. In the same bath.

Jinx lifted her head, removing the towel from her eyes and depositing it on the floor. She shifted herself up, putting her elbows on the sides of the bath, exposing her chest to the open air.

It had always been obvious that Jinx was rather flat-chested, but that didn’t mean there was nothing to look at. Rather, there was more than Caitlyn expected. Sitting atop small mounds of pale flesh, Jinx’s nipples had hardened as they were exposed to the open air, perfectly showing off the barbell piercings that ran through each. Caitlyn’s breath hitched. The heat in her belly came back with a fierceness.

She was staring at Jinx, and Jinx was staring at her. Jinx was grinning.

“See something you like?”

Caitlyn opened her mouth, but could form no words. She closed it, swallowed, and tried again.

“Just admiring the view,” she said in an attempt to sound suave, but there was enough of a shake in her voice to betray her.

“Are all topsiders as bashful as you?”

She sure knew how to get Caitlyn riled up. Her words poked at her pride. Caitlyn was never like this with other girls. She knew she looked good, knew how to wield her body like a weapon to get what she wanted. Many times had she been on the other side of this kind of conversation, doing what Jinx was doing to her now.

You are such a slut.

Caitlyn ignored the nagging voice and sat upright. She shivered a little as her shoulders and chest rose from the warm water, but she wouldn’t let the difference in temperature bother her. She had to make a point.

Rivulets of water ran down her chest, dripping into the valley between her breasts. She made a point to cross her arms underneath them, pushing them together and upwards. Her nipples grew hard as they were exposed to the cool air. She tilted her head back, exposing her neck—highlighting the collar that was still in place.

When Caitlyn met Jinx’s eyes again, the younger woman didn’t seem as confident as she had before. In fact, she had sunk down into the water a little, making herself look even smaller than Caitlyn. As expected, she was staring straight at her breasts. They tended to have that effect on people.

“What was that?” Caitlyn asked, pretending as though she hadn’t heard her prior question.

“I, um… You…” Jinx sunk even further into the bath, putting her mouth under the water and blowing bubbles. She came back up. “What I meant to ask was, uh, are there places like this up top?”

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. “What, brothels?”

“No, no. I mean, public baths. This one is in a brothel, but there are some around that are more… tame.”

“A few. I’ve never been to any of them, but I know they exist. They’re an interesting sort of luxury, but one that my parents thought was beneath us.”

“Luxury?”

“Yes. Frequented by the rich and powerful.”

Jinx looked a little confused, and a little angry. “That’s… interesting. Down here, bathhouses are more of a… necessity. Not everyone has access to plumbing and clean water. So people who did took advantage of it and made a business out of it. You wanna get clean, you go to the bathhouse.”

That made sense. Jinx didn’t even have plumbing in her “home”. Of course she would have to go somewhere else to shower. And, perhaps, Jinx hadn’t been trying to flirt with her—she was just used to being seen naked by other people. Caitlyn mentally cursed herself and let her body sink below the water again. She was getting a little too cold anyways.

“And you brought me to one in a brothel.”

“Because this is a safe place,” Jinx hissed. “I knew that no one would be trying to kidnap you here. Besides, this is where I like to go. Babette is… nice.”

Caitlyn recalled how Vi had also come here when they were scouting the undercity together. It was the second place she had gone, and they had let her in the back with no issue. It struck her as odd that the two sisters likely had a close relationship with the madame of a brothel when they were children, but she realized it must be another reality of life in the undercity. Taking what you could from where you could get it. It was what she had done, too.

“She is,” Caitlyn agreed. “She’s very nice.”

Jinx hummed and leaned back, arching her back so that her stomach pushed up out of the water. Caitlyn couldn’t help but stare at her abdomen, which she saw on a regular basis due to Jinx’s revealing attire, though something about this was different. The way the water glided across her skin, how her muscles pulled taut, how her tits—

Caitlyn averted her eyes.

I can’t believe my own daughter would be so perverted.

Her brows threaded together as she did her best to dismiss her mother’s voice, but it didn’t work. She was behaving like a pervert. A sex-crazed maniac who couldn’t platonically share a bath with another woman without her mind being invaded by vulgar thoughts. Even submerged in water, she could feel herself getting wet.

“How long do you want to stay?” Jinx asked.

Caitlyn simultaneously wanted to leave immediately and also stay forever.

“Um, however long you want to be here,” she said, putting the onus on the younger woman. “It’s not like I’ve got anywhere to be.”

“Mmm, true.”

Jinx submerged herself entirely, save for her braids, which were still slung over the edge of the bath. When she surfaced, she stood up, exposing her lower half. As Jinx wiped the water from her eyes, Caitlyn gave her a once over, taking in every little detail. Gods, her tattoos went all the way down…

“This is a weird ask, but would you mind giving me a massage?” Caitlyn’s eyes shot upwards. Jinx actually looked a little embarrassed. “Feel free to say no. I normally pay one of the girls to do it, but since you’re already here…” She rolled her shoulders. “Running around all day with a minigun slung over your shoulder will do a number on your back.”

Caitlyn should have said no. Every bit of rationality within her was screaming at her to say no.

But, gods, she wanted to touch her so bad. The fact that it was a genuine ask, something that would help her feel better, made it even worse. Caitlyn so desperately wanted to help her feel better.

“Sure,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound like a complete idiot.

Jinx waded over to her, braids floating atop the water behind her. Caitlyn lifted herself out of the water to sit on the side of the bath. Jinx took the spot where she had just been sitting, placing herself— fuck —right between Caitlyn’s legs. She was throbbing. Why was this happening to her? Had she completely lost her mind? Was it the drugs? Was it just her?

Jinx’s slim frame made Caitlyn’s hands look massive as she laid them on her shoulders. Slowly, gently, she squeezed, pressing her thumbs into Jinx’s back. The younger girl made a soft noise of approval, encouraging Caitlyn to keep going.

Jinx was thin, but she was dense. No body fat, all lean muscle. Caitlyn squeezed and kneaded, and Jinx leaned back into her touch.

“Oh, that’s it,” she breathed. “A little harder.”

GoodfuckinggodswhatthefuckamIdoingwhattheFUCKamIdoing!?

Caitlyn let out a shaky breath. She almost felt nauseous, but she knew that wasn’t what the sensation in her stomach was. It was raw desire, eating away at her insides.

She took her hands lower, pressing into her upper back. Jinx was like putty in her hands. She groaned softly as Caitlyn’s fingers worked their magic, pushing the tension out of her muscles.

Jinx’s head lolled back, and she looked up at Caitlyn through half-lidded eyes and smiled.

“Thank you, pup,” she said so quietly that Caitlyn almost didn’t hear her. Jinx reached up and hooked a finger under the collar, gently tugging on it before letting her arm fall back into the water.

Caitlyn shuddered.

This was new. Uncomfortably new. Jinx was making her feel a certain type of way that she had never felt before. The hunger from before, the ferocity with which she had gone after Vi, was not present. It was almost like it couldn’t be present. That’s not what this was.

Jinx was not at her mercy. Caitlyn was the one under her control.

Chapter Text

The revelation was so jarring that Caitlyn hardly noticed Jinx getting out of the bath. Once she realized the girl was no longer between her legs, she closed them with such force that the sound of her thighs connecting made a loud clapping sound. She heard Jinx giggling, and she covered her flushed face with her hands.

Thankfully, Caitlyn was over her episode of shyness. She climbed out of the bath and reached for her towel without trying to cover herself. Jinx was equally casual as she wiped herself down and rung the water out of her braids.

Caitlyn was wishing she had clean clothes to put on when she found the cubby she had put her things in held exactly that. Someone must have come in while they were in the bath and swapped out her old set. Jinx, on the other hand, slid back into her usual outfit. Caitlyn wondered when it had last been washed.

Her mysterious benefactor had gifted her with clean underwear, a simple pair of trousers, and a button-up shirt. She mumbled a quiet “thank you” to whoever had done so as she put them on.

Jinx was waiting for her by the door. Caitlyn gave her a once over, lining up the mental image of her naked body with her currently clothed one. Not a hard thing to do, considering Jinx’s sense of style didn’t really leave much to the imagination. The younger woman waved for her to follow, and they stepped out into the halls of the brothel.

Jinx was not really Caitlyn’s type. She had never truly defined what her “type” was, but it was certainly not in line with the pale, stick thin trencher before her. Caitlyn typically went for women that looked like herself, occasionally pursuing someone more of Vi’s build. Jinx was a whole head shorter than Caitlyn, and she was all lines and sharp edges.

But she was strong. Even before the shimmer, Caitlyn had seen how she was able to move around, commanding that massive minigun of hers. Her image was deceptive. You’d think she would snap like a twig under pressure, but she was sturdy and resilient and fast as hell. If you misjudged her, you’d be the broken one.

And Caitlyn thought she was cute.

It was a descriptor she didn’t really apply to many of her previous entanglements. Women were hot, sexy, curvy, buff. Waifish, delicate girls never caught her eye. They didn’t seem like they could handle her. Caitlyn was never interested in being a gentle lover.

But Jinx was different. She wasn’t delicate—at least, not physically. And something about her small stature made Caitlyn want to wrap her arms around her and hide her away from the rest of the world. Hers.

Caitlyn stopped in her tracks. There she was, getting ahead of herself again. Hadn’t she just tried to shut this down? Jinx was just messing with her, that’s all it was. There was no way she held any affection for Caitlyn beyond their shared affliction. After all, she had basically admitted that she was planning on kidnapping her and using her against Vi in some kind of deranged attempt to get her sister “back”. Surely, she still felt some kind of animosity towards Caitlyn.

Right?

“Jinx?”

The blue-haired girl stopped, looking over her shoulder. “Yeah?”

“You still hate me, right?”

Jinx put her hands in her pockets and turned around to face Caitlyn. Her brows dropped, pressing together, like she was looking at a puzzle she needed to solve.

“Why would you think that?”

Caitlyn blinked. “What? W-well, I mean… Everything you said the other day… I just…” She took a deep breath through her nose. “I’m trying to figure out where we’re at now. I know that… that we’re the same. I know we’ve both said a lot of things, but… I don’t know if that outweighs how you felt about me before.”

Jinx gave her a strange look, like she was seeing something else where Caitlyn stood. For a second, she did look angry, her face tensing and her eyes glowing. Caitlyn stood her ground. Then, Jinx’s expression softened, overwritten by melancholy.

“Do you want to leave?” she asked quietly.

Whenever she spoke like this, Caitlyn felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. The strength she so admired faded completely, and Jinx was like a lost child on the edge of bursting into tears. Caitlyn stepped closer, raising her hands as if she was trying to pacify a spooked animal.

“No no no no no,” she said quickly. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to leave. I promise I don’t. I just… I need to know what you’re thinking.” She hesitated. “About me.”

It was a bold question. Almost a confession, she feared.

“I don’t hate you. Not anymore.” Jinx reached up, pressing her palm flat against Caitlyn’s sternum. “We’re the same, so I get it. I…” She looked down, unable to meet her gaze. “I look at you and I see me. Not literally, but you get it. I think… that if I wasn’t me, and I saw myself, I would…” Her voice cracked. “I would want to help.” Her fingers closed, drawing the fabric of Caitlyn’s shirt into her fist, and she spoke so softly that Caitlyn barely heard her repeating, “I only wanted to help.”

Caitlyn wondered if Jinx could feel her heart beating. It was hammering in her chest, threatening to leap up into her throat. She put her right hand over Jinx’s fist, pressing it close.

“You are. You’ve helped me. Jinx, I would be a mess without you. I think I would have lost my mind, or worse.”

“You would have been fine.”

“I would not.”

Jinx looked up at her. “I don’t hate you. I did, I really did. It was really silly in retrospect.” She tapped her temple. “Everything’s a mess up here, if you hadn’t caught on already. I can get ideas in my head and then I just… run away with it. When it comes to Vi…” Her mouth clamped shut, and she shook her head. “Not the point. I don’t hate you. You’re not who I thought you were, even if you are a pampered little Piltie princess.”

Jinx smiled, and Caitlyn smiled back.

“Well, I haven’t really been one for about three weeks now, so maybe it’ll wear off after a while.”

“Not with that accent, pup.”

That earned a laugh. Jinx tugged Caitlyn’s shirt before letting go, urging her to keep following as they made their way downstairs to the exit.

Before they could leave, however, Ral stopped them.

“The Madame wants to have a chat before you go.”

Jinx groaned. Caitlyn put a hand on her shoulder. They went back upstairs, and Caitlyn took the lead this time, knowing exactly where Babette’s office was.

“Caitlyn! Wonderful to see that you’re alright,” she said, and then her expression soured slightly as she nodded and said, “Jinx.”

Caitlyn was getting the sense that people didn’t really like Jinx.

“I’m doing just fine. This one has been taking good care of me,” she said, elbowing the blue-haired girl.

“I find that hard to believe, but I won’t call you a liar.” Babette took a drag from her pipe. “At least you’re safe. We were worried Sevika had killed you.”

“I wouldn’t let her do that!” Jinx protested.

Babette ignored her. “Things have been chaotic since you disappeared, and that’s sugar-coating it. We’ve got people of all kinds that come in here every day asking for you. Trenchers, topsiders, enforcers, you name it. Of course, we wouldn’t tell them where you were even if we did know.” She gave Caitlyn a pointed look. “Vi’s also been looking for you.”

Caitlyn’s heart skipped a beat, but she didn’t have the time to consider what that might mean. Jinx was coiled like a snake ready to strike, malice radiating off of her at the mention of her sister’s name. She had told Caitlyn that she didn’t know who she thought she was—who did she think Vi was now?

“Have you heard anything about the Firelights?” Caitlyn asked, trying to redirect the conversation.

“Not much. The enforcer presence has them on edge.”

Caitlyn wondered if Ekko was pissed at her for not leading them to Singed. He was probably more upset with her for being the reason that his city was crawling with Piltovian law enforcement.

“How bad is it?” she asked.

Babette took another long, slow drag, then exhaled the smoke directly at the two of them.

“Jinx, why don’t you tell her?”

Caitlyn looked at Jinx, who was so tense that she could see the veins pulsing under her skin.

“The enforcers aren’t an issue. They can send a whole army down here and I’ll send them back up full of lead,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’ll handle it.”

“How bad is it?” Caitlyn repeated, directing the question at Babette while gently placing a hand on Jinx’s back.

“If it was just our own idiots searching for you, it would be annoying but easy to handle. Enforcers are different. Do you know what happened when they came down here in the past?”

Caitlyn didn’t know, not the full extent. She had learned of Piltover’s forays into the undercity from the mouth of the beast itself. It obviously painted the enforcers in a heroic light. They were doing the right thing, doing the necessary work to keep everyone safe. She knew that Grayson had died down here, but no one ever told her exactly how it had happened.

“It’s not that bad yet, but it’s heating up. If they send more men into the Lanes—”

“They won’t,” Jinx snarled. “I won’t let them take her.”

Caitlyn was gaining an understanding of what Jinx had been doing for Silco when she left her alone in the hideout. She pictured her unloading endless rounds into the boys in blue—her former comrades. She wasn’t able to muster up much sympathy for the people who were trying to drag her back to her old life, but it didn’t sit right with her that so many people were dying in her name. The Kiramman name.

This is your responsibility.

Suddenly, Caitlyn felt incredibly stupid. All this time, she had been hiding away from the world with Jinx, indulging in her silly little fantasies of escaping her responsibilities. She had been agonizing over how she felt about a girl that was going out into the streets each day to gun down enforcers that were ripping apart the undercity trying to find her. How many innocent people had they questioned, beaten, arrested in her mother’s quest to bring her daughter home?

It’s all your fault. You did this.

“No. I didn’t…”

You did.

“I DIDN’T!”

Babbette and Jinx both jumped at her sudden outburst. Caitlyn was hot with embarrassment. She could let Jinx see her like this, but in front of anyone else? She spun on her heels and rushed out of the room.

“Caitlyn, wait!”

Jinx rushed after her, the soft sound of metal clinking against metal following her down the hall. Caitlyn stopped abruptly and felt Jinx run into her back. After she caught herself, the younger woman pressed her hands against the small of Caitlyn’s back. She slid them around, grabbing her waist and squeezing.

“It’s okay. I can fix this. I can—Silco can fix this. I’m sure he has a plan.”

Caitlyn tilted her head back, shutting her eyes and hissing through her teeth, “I don’t want him to fix it. I don’t want it to be happening at all.”

She felt Jinx tugging at her waist, and she followed the movements, turning around to face her. Jinx lifted her hands, cupping Caitlyn’s face, and it felt like all the stress and tension was being sucked out of her body into the girl’s palms. Jinx made her feel so vulnerable. One touch was able to strip away all barriers, revealing the truths that Caitlyn had spent her whole life burying. She couldn’t hold back the tears.

“I don’t want to go back,” she croaked. “I can’t.”

Caitlyn crumbled, falling to her knees and pulling Jinx down with her. She sobbed, loud, ugly, and broken, tears streaming down her cheeks and snot running from her nose. Jinx instinctively moved her hands down to hug her, but Caitlyn grabbed her wrist and guided the hand back up, pushing Jinx’s slim fingers into her freshly washed hair. Jinx seemed to understand what she wanted, and she carded her fingers through the dark locks. The movement was much smoother now that her hair wasn’t thick with grease and oils. It felt even better. Caitlyn wrapped her arms around her.

“You don’t have to,” Jinx murmured. “I’m not gonna let them take you.”

Caitlyn wanted to say something, to tell Jinx that no, she did have to, that this was her problem. But she couldn’t talk. She was wailing and hiccuping and making a scene in the hallway of a brothel, letting Jinx pet her and holding onto her like she would die if she let go. Crying like a child. Being handled like a dog.

Heavy footsteps approached, and in the back of Caitlyn’s mind she thought it must be Ral or another security guard coming to kick them out.

But it wasn’t Ral.

It was Vi.

“Caitlyn—Powder?!”

Jinx went rigid at the sound of her sister’s voice, her fingers curling in Caitlyn’s hair. Her eyes lit up like neon, and her pupils left little halogen trails behind as they darted to the side. She didn’t turn her head to look at Vi, but Caitlyn could feel that she was poised to strike.

Just as Caitlyn was about to speak, Vi stepped closer and said, “Cait, is she hurting you?”

The idea that Jinx would ever do anything to hurt her set Caitlyn aflame. She pulled Jinx inwards, holding her tight against her chest, her larger frame practically swallowing the smaller girl. White hot electricity shot through her veins. She ground her teeth together and breathed heavy through her nose.

She looked at Vi, taking in every detail. Her feet were spread apart, not quite in a fighting stance but ready to step into one at a moment’s notice. Her hands were balled into fists. She looked angry. There was a pair of mining gauntlets hanging from a hook on her belt.

A voice in the front of Caitlyn’s head was chanting a mantra: Threat. Threat. Threat. Threat.

Caitlyn remembered how Ral had spoken to Jinx, how Babette had treated her.

They lied. Babette lied. She was keeping you here so Vi could find you. She did this on purpose. They want Jinx. They want you. They want to get rid of you, send you back to where you came from.

She held Jinx tighter, so tight that she was worried she might hurt her. Words thundered in her skull, thoughts crashing into each other, clouding her judgement until one boomed above all others.

FIGHT OR FLIGHT? FIGHT OR FLIGHT? FIGHT OR FLIGHT?

Deep within her, there was still a part of Caitlyn that didn’t want to hurt Vi.

She leaned down and whispered to Jinx, “Hold on tight.”

Lightning coursed through her, that familiar jolt, as she burst forward, circling around Vi and running for the front door. She thought that Ral was likely still guarding the back, and he wouldn’t let them through, so the only way out was right through the entrance. She blew past customers, staff, ripping through them until they were out on the street, and she skidded to a stop, still cradling Jinx in her arms. Their eyes met, and Caitlyn saw a glint of something in Jinx’s that she didn’t have time to think about.

“Where to?” she asked, not knowing how to get back into the network of underground tunnels that would lead them home.

Before Jinx could answer, Caitlyn felt a presence close behind her, and she dropped down into a squat to dodge what she thought was an incoming blow, then twisted around to deliver an elbow to the attacker’s gut.

No one was attacking her. She drove her elbow into Jayce’s stomach with incredible force, knocking him backwards several feet. Guilt gnawed at her. He had just been reaching out to her with an open hand. But then she saw the hextech hammer he was holding, and the group of enforcers at his back, and she felt vindicated for her reaction.

She let go of Jinx, and the two of them stood up, back to back as they were encircled by enforcers.

Vi did this. She lied to you. They lied to you. You’re just a problem they’re trying to get rid of.

Caitlyn grit her teeth and winced, then shook her head quickly and stared at Jayce, who was still holding his stomach and trying to catch his breath. She heard Jinx draw her pistol, heard the click of the safety. She had no weapon but her fists. They were greatly outnumbered. All they could do was run, and what then? Go back into hiding and ignore the problem?

“Caitlyn, please. We just want to help you,” said Jayce.

She wasn’t sure he meant that. He didn’t look like he did.

“Bullshit!” Jinx snapped.

“Jinx,” said Caitlyn, reaching for her hand. “We have to get out of here.”

“We can take these assholes!”

“We can’t. We have to run.” Caitlyn swallowed. “We can split up, confuse them. Meet up later. Where it all started.” Singed’s lab. She hoped Jinx understood.

Jinx grunted, but she relaxed, lowering her gun. “Alright.”

Caitlyn steadied herself as if she was getting ready to take off running. She felt a surge of energy behind her back, and Jinx was gone, leaving nothing but a pink trail. Caitlyn hesitated for a moment, flexing the muscles in her legs. She waited until she knew Jinx was gone.

Then, she stood up straight, and raised her hands above her head.

“Alright. You got me. Take me in.”

Chapter Text

Confusion and a hint of distrust danced across Jayce’s face. Caitlyn could hear the unspoken questions: “Why are you turning yourself in? Weren’t you kidnapped?” But he didn’t ask them.

“Caitlyn? Are you alright?”

He sat the hammer down and took a step closer to her, hands raised to show that he meant no harm. Caitlyn kept her hands in the air. She knew that any sudden movements could set off an enforcer—she had been on the other side of situations like this. If she was going home, she would at least do it without having a bullet put in her.

“I’m fine.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t really the truth either.

Jayce, seeing that she wasn’t relaxing, stepped even closer. He reached up and gently took her wrists, guiding them back down so her arms rested by her sides. He raised his fist, signaling the enforcers he had with him to stand down. When they lowered their guns and stepped back, Caitlyn let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

She did not expect Jayce to draw her into a bone-breaking bear hug.

“God, Cait, we’ve been so worried. What happened to you?”

He stepped back, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking her over. Caitlyn didn’t miss the way his eyes narrowed briefly, how his lips turned down ever so slightly.

“It’s a long story. I can explain on the way back?”

Jayce nodded, but before he could respond, they were interrupted by the sound of a struggle coming from the brothel entrance. A handful of enforcers were struggling to hold someone back. Vi. She was shouting over them, trying to push through to Caitlyn.

“Cait! Please, wait! You don’t have to do this!”

Caitlyn didn’t look at her.

“Jayce, please. Let’s go.”

He looked between her and Vi, brows knit together and a confused frown on his face. But he forced a soft smile as he placed a hand on Caitlyn’s upper back and started to guide her away. Up, out of the Lanes, through the Promenade, towards the bridge. Vi’s shouts faded into the noise of the undercity behind them, and Caitlyn did her best to pretend like she hadn’t heard her at all.

Caitlyn recounted to Jayce a version of events with very strategic omissions. She put most of the focus on Singed and what he had done, as this was the most important part to get across to him. Then, she talked about her stay at the brothel and how kind the people had been to her, and decided not to mention Sevika, Silco, or anything after that. She said nothing of Jinx, and she was hoping he wouldn’t ask. After all, he shouldn’t really have known who she was. Any hope of that information getting to the right people died that night on the bridge.

She wasn’t even sure she wanted to give it to them. Yes, she had evidence that Silco was the lynchpin behind all the chaos that had come topside, behind shimmer itself—but Jinx was an inherent part of it at every turn. She had been the one behind the Progress Day attack and robbery. She had been the one who blew apart a dozen enforcers on the bridge. She was the one who had been attacking the enforcers her mother was pushing down into the undercity.

And Caitlyn couldn’t bring herself to say it. This was everything that she had dreamed of and more when she had first started investigating this mess. She had uncovered it all, and a few simple words would point Piltover in the right direction to shut down shimmer once and for all and keep hextech out of the wrong hands—out of Jinx’s hands.

Caitlyn nervously tugged at the collar around her neck.

“That girl, who was she?”

Damn it.

“Which one?” she asked, hoping he meant Vi.

“The one with the blue hair, the braids. Some of the men mentioned seeing her before.”

Caitlyn shrugged. “Not sure. I met her in the brothel, so I don’t even know her real name. Customers used aliases.”

“Was she trying to help you?”

Caitlyn didn’t know how to answer that. “Maybe? I didn’t really get to know her all that well. I don’t think she understood what was going on.”

He made a noise of confirmation that meant he was thinking about it. This didn’t worry her. His mind was for machinery, not detective work. She doubted he would be able to connect the dots.

As they drew closer to the bridge, she saw that the barricade was still in place. Jayce pulled her to the side as he let his contingent of enforcers pass ahead.

“Cait, I’m so sorry, but I have to ask—What that man did to you… Are you still on it?”

Caitlyn narrowed her eyes. “On what? Shimmer? Jayce, I told you, it’s not like that—”

“You look like you’re on drugs, Cait. I know you told me what you could, and I promise I’ll have Viktor look into it, but it doesn’t change the fact that you look like you’re sky high on an illegal substance.”

She had been foolish to think that this wasn’t going to happen.

“What are you saying, Jayce?”

His eyes darted towards the barricade, then back at her.

“I don’t know. This just… it doesn’t look good. For either of us.”

This will reflect poorly on the family.

Looks. Of course he cared about appearances now that he was on the Council. He shifted nervously, unwilling to keep walking.

“Are you being serious right now? Jayce, do you think I’m lying to you?”

“I… I don’t know, Cait. You’re acting strange—”

“Are you serious!?” she shouted so loudly that it drew the attention of the enforcers at the barricade.

“Cait, please be quiet.”

“I will not!” She gripped her head in her hands and laughed. “What did I expect? This, exactly this. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”

“Caitlyn, please!”

Jayce tried to calm her down, reaching out to take her hands in his, but she reacted before she could think, shoving him backwards. This was a mistake, as it immediately drew the attention of the enforcers. Jayce raised a hand to tell them to stand down, but they didn’t seem to be entirely under his control. They pressed forward despite his command.

Caitlyn whipped around, taking a defensive stance. She had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, that Jayce would take her seriously and treat her like a normal person, but it seems like she had misplaced her trust.

Again. Again, she had put her faith in someone just to have it shattered almost immediately. Why was everyone turning against her all of a sudden? Just because she had spent time with Jinx? Was that all it took?

The enforcers closed in, brandishing batons but no guns. The first lunged forward, and she caught his baton mid swing and disarmed him with ease, tossing the weapon over the side of the bridge.

The bridge. She looked to her left, towards the place where she had been attempting to cross over just a few weeks ago. She saw herself. She saw Vi, Ekko.

Caitlyn saw Marcus. His face flickered over the row of enforcer helmets behind the barricade, as if he was any and all of them at the same time. When her focus returned to her attackers, she saw him there, too. Batons became guns. Day turned to night. She felt dizzy.

An arm wrapped around her waist and a hand closed over her mouth. She smelled sickly sweet chemicals, and then she was gone.

X

Before Caitlyn opened her eyes, she was aware of a feeling. A sharp prick in her right arm, pushing into the soft flesh of her inner forearm. Moments later, a slimy, slithering feeling, like worms crawling through her veins. Her body reacted before her mind could fully wake. She reached over and ripped something from her right arm. The pain brought her back to the world.

An IV. Blood erupted from the insertion point. Her arm twitched, and the veins under her skin began to darken, then glow. Streams of neon rippled under her skin, converging upon the open wound. The blood stopped, and something else replaced it. Some kind of thick, white fluid was expelled from within her. When it was fully purged, the skin closed on its own. The glow faded, but the dark shadows of her veins remained, criss-crossing over the inside of her arm like a fleshy spiderweb.

Across the room, someone gasped and dropped something. Her head jerked around to face the noise.

Her father.

Caitlyn was in her bedroom, in her family home. Her father, Tobias, was standing by the door, hovering over a cart carrying his physician bag.

“Gods, Caitlyn, you’re awake!” he cried. “Please, dear, you shouldn’t do that. You’ve… hurt yourself…” His eyes trailed down from her face to her arm, which was still lined with evidence of her new difference. The truth hidden within her had risen to the surface in the ugliest of forms. “Darling, please just lay down. I’ll go and get the doctor—”

“Doctor? Who else is here?”

“He’s a colleague of mine, a good friend. You’re very sick, dear, and he specializes in… these kinds of things.”

“I want to see Viktor,” she mumbled to herself, remembering what she had asked of Jayce. Viktor would understand, she thought. He was from the undercity. Then, curious, she asked, “What did Jayce tell you?”

Tobias looked nervous. Afraid, even. He stuttered as he spoke.

“H-he told us that, after the bridge incident, you were taken back down to the undercity, and that horrible man used… some untested medical procedure to heal you.”

“Shimmer, dad. You can say it,” she said, rubbing the inside of her healing arm. “And what else?”

“He told us that some good folk had been taking care of you since then. A-and he said when they found you, they had to sedate you because—his words, not mine—you were ‘a danger to yourself and others’.”

Caitlyn closed her eyes and exhaled loudly. Of course he said that.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stumbled slightly as she rose. Whatever they had used to knock her out still had her feeling groggy, not fully there. And even though it seemed the liquid from the IV had been expelled, she still felt a thickness inside her that made her feel slow, heavy. Nonetheless, she managed to gain her footing and walked across the room towards her father.

“Dear, please, just go back to bed,” he pleaded. “I’ll go get Dr. Meved and we can talk about this a little more. You’re very sick, love, you need to be treated—”

“I’m sick?” she said, craning her neck forward and raising an eyebrow. “Did Jayce say that too?”

“Caitlyn, it’s… it’s obvious something’s not right. Dr. Meved has done some incredible research in this field. If anyone can help, it’s him.”

“I don’t need his help!” Caitlyn had to work hard to keep her voice down. She wanted to scream and yell and break something, but she did her best to hold it back. That wouldn’t be helpful here. “I’m not sick. I don’t need his ‘treatment’. I need…”

Jinx.

She screwed her eyes shut and gripped her chest. Jinx was all alone. Caitlyn had left her, just like she had promised not to do so many times. Just after the girl had told her she didn’t hate her. That had to have changed now. Her heart ached, and an unpleasant feeling of regret made its home in the pit of her stomach.

Sorrow quickly turned to anger. First at herself, at the series of stupid decisions that had led her right back to the exact place she did not want to be. Then, at Jayce, for not understanding. Then, her father, for believing him. Finally, her mother, for everything.

“Where is she? Mother.”

Tobias swallowed. “She’s, um, in her study.”

“Right. Of course.”

Caitlyn stepped past him, and he seemed like he wanted to try and stop her, but there was a terror in his eyes that kept him from getting any closer to her. In fact, he stepped backwards. Shied away from his only daughter, his own flesh and blood.

Tobias was as good a father as a man in his position could be. He had given Caitlyn as much affection as he could muster, and she remembered her time spent with him fondly. But, he was a councillor’s husband, and his love for his daughter was not strong enough to make him stand up against his wife. Caitlyn resented him for that. She wanted to feel sad that he was so afraid of her, but it barely registered with her at all. She left him alone in her bedroom, heading down the hall to find her mother.

Caitlyn wasn’t entirely sure what she aimed to do. Her initial plan had relied on Jayce treating her like a normal person, and he hadn’t done that. She wanted to see Viktor. She knew he would understand, and he might even have some ideas on how to help her. Not that she particularly wanted to go back to her old self now, but if it meant keeping Jinx out of harm’s way, she would do anything.

It was better like this. It was better if she left, got the enforcers to pull out of the undercity, and went back to living under her mother’s thumb. Her staying down there wouldn’t help anyone except herself. It especially wouldn’t help Jinx. She was starting to feel like a burden to her. Caitlyn carried around all these problems and feelings and just expected Jinx to be the salve to her wounds. That was unfair to her.

But she had promised not to leave, and the fact that she had broken that promise made her stomach turn. At least, she thought, Jinx wouldn’t want her back now.

The leather collar around her neck felt tight, almost like it was choking her. She tugged at it, slipping her fingers underneath, but had no desire to remove it. She could hardly believe it was still on her, but it appeared as though they hadn't had time to remove any of her clothing other than her shoes. Likely due to their panic at seeing what their daughter had become.

Caitlyn paused outside the door to her mother’s study, fingertips brushing against the embossed wood of the door. She wasn’t ready to do this. She opened the door anyway.

Cassandra had not been expecting her daughter, as evidenced by the way she abruptly sat down her cup of tea and caused the porcelain to clatter against the saucer, a few small drops spilling over the brim. She rose from her seat and faced Caitlyn.

“Caitlyn! I didn’t realize you were awake. Why are you out of bed, dear? Oh, your arm…”

The dark veins had faded, but not fully receded yet. It seemed like her body was still recovering from whatever they had tried to inject her with.

“What’s going on?” Caitlyn asked. “I told Jayce I wanted to see Viktor.”

“Yes, dear, I know, but Viktor is a busy man these days—”

“Too busy to see a councillor’s daughter?”

“He’s fallen ill, dear. We’ve asked him not to overextend himself.”

“Oh… I didn’t know. I… I’d still like to see him.”

Cassandra smiled politely. “You can see him when you’re feeling better.”

“I’m not sick!” Caitlyn snapped (Cassandra flinched). “If anything, whatever you’re trying to pump into me is making me feel worse!”

“Dr. Meved has extensive experience working with shimmer addicts, and this is a formula he—”

“I’m not addicted to anything! Gods, this is exactly what I knew would happen!” Caitlyn rubbed her eyes and laughed darkly.

“Caitlyn,” her mother said, her voice taking that cold tone that was painfully familiar. “Listen to me. I understand that something happened to you down there, and I recognize that it was very traumatic for you. But you have to understand how this looks for us. You forged Jayce’s signature to get a prisoner released and then disappeared into the underground for almost a month. Then, you come back…” Cassandra gestured vaguely at her daughter. “... like this. The details don’t really matter. We have to fix this.”

We will fix you.

Caitlyn pressed her fingers into her eyes when she heard her mother’s voice echo inside her skull. Gods, now there were two of them.

“It’s all about looks with you, isn’t it, hm? Keeping up appearances! Gods forbid you actually listen to me and care about what I have to say.”

Caitlyn began to pace around, gesturing wildly. Cassandra stepped back slightly.

“We are doing everything we can to help you, Caitlyn. What more do you have to say? What more do you want?”

Why can’t you just be grateful for once?

“I want someone to believe me!” Caitlyn yelled, exasperated. “I want you to stop thinking you know exactly what’s best for me! I want you to stop caring about covering your own ass for long enough to consider what two decades of that kind of behavior has done to your only child!”

With every word, she stepped closer to Cassandra, who stepped further away, keeping the distance between them until her back was nearly pressed against the bookshelf behind her. Caitlyn was getting angry, and that anger was multiplying within her until it overflowed, spilling out of her chest into the rest of her body. Sparks flew inside of her, and it wasn’t long before the uncomfortable tingling sensations started up again, growing sharper and sharper until they felt like thorns trying to push out from under her skin. Some were so painful that she jerked reflexively when they went off.

Caitlyn staggered backwards, furiously itching at her arms, trying to ease the pain in whatever way possible. She pressed so hard that her fingernails broke skin, leaving bloody scratches behind.

“Caitlyn… What…” her mother said. Terror was evident in the way her voice quivered, but there was something else hiding in the way she said her daughter’s name. Caitlyn would recognize it anywhere. Disgust.

“What is wrong with you?”

That was all it took. She couldn't even be sure if her mother had actually said the words, but it didn't matter. No longer in control of herself, Caitlyn lurched forward. She saw red.

A loud BANG! cut through the rage. The firing of a gun. She felt pain radiate through her right leg.

Her vision cleared. She looked down and saw a hole in her thigh. Blood began to leak through, leaving a dark, wet patch on the fabric of her pants. It hurt. Too much. She fell backwards and pressed her hands against the weeping hole, vaguely remembering her training on how to handle gunshot wounds. Apply direct pressure. Stop the bleeding.

Caitlyn looked up. Above her, Cassandra stood statue still, eyes wide in terror, brandishing a pistol that was still aimed straight at her daughter.

The world around her fractured and disappeared. Everything grew dark, and Caitlyn could smell gunpowder and burnt flesh. A mechanical butterfly landed on the barrel of the gun.

Marcus was pointing a gun at her. Her mother was pointing a gun at her. Her father was pointing a gun at her. Vi was pointing a gun at her. Jayce was pointing a gun at her.

Jinx was holding out her hand.

Her mother was pointing a gun at her. Caitlyn forgot about the gunshot wound and began to scramble backwards across the floor, leaving a bloody trail beneath her as she tried to make for the door. Cassandra stayed frozen in place, pistol still held aimed down at her. She was shaking.

Was she afraid of the fact that she had just shot her own child? Or was Caitlyn so unrecognizable to her now that she was only afraid of her?

There was a thundering of boots in the hall outside, and the door burst open to reveal a squadron of enforcers. They took stock of the situation and surrounded Caitlyn without a word. One of them was holding some sort of gas mask.

Caitlyn willed the spark to come back to her, searching for that liberating jolt of energy, that burst of shimmer that would get her out of this nightmare.

It didn’t come. Whether it was because of whatever they had tried to dose her with or that her body was too focused on healing itself, she couldn’t summon the strength to escape. The enforcers grabbed her arms and legs as she desperately tried to kick out of their grip, and the mask was placed over her mouth and nose.

And she was gone again.

Chapter Text

After Caitlyn Kiramman had been found, the barricade between Piltover and its undercity was dismantled. This was in large part due to public dissatisfaction with the amount of government resources that had been dedicated to searching for one girl. People were already displeased with the barricade before she went missing, and their irritation had only grown over time. Now that Caitlyn was home, the Council voted to end the barricade in order to regain some public favor.

This made it easy for Viktor to make a second trip to visit Singed to replenish his supply of shimmer. The first test with the hexcore had worked wonderfully, but he needed more if he was going to fully heal himself. With the barricade no longer in place, it was easy for him to slip across the bridge and return without being missed.

Or so he thought.

“Vik! Where have you been? I was looking for you all morning.”

Jayce looked deeply unsettled. For a moment, Viktor worried that something had gone wrong with the hexcore while he was gone, but he looked past his partner to see it hovering peacefully on the far side of the room.

“What is it?”

“Are you feeling alright?”

Jayce reached up to touch his face, and Viktor brushed it away.

“I’m fine. What do you need?”

Jayce withdrew his hand, looking a little rejected. However, Viktor didn’t linger on that for long, because his partner looked like shit. There were dark circles under his eyes. He hadn’t shaved. Viktor had last seen him a few days ago, before he left to search for Caitlyn. Something had happened between now and then that was eating away at him.

“It’s… Caitlyn. She’s…” He held his tongue, and Viktor could practically see the gears turning in his head as he figured out what he wanted to say. “Well, she’s been asking to see you, but it’s a lot more complicated than that. You might wanna sit down.”

So Viktor did sit down with Jayce, who launched into an explanation of the wild series of events that led them to where they were now. Caitlyn had used his name to release a prisoner from Stillwater, and that adventure resulted in her nearly dying during the bridge explosion. A man going by the name of Singed had used shimmer to keep her alive, and she had taken shelter at an undercity brothel, fearing that she wouldn’t be able to return to Piltover due to her altered state.

When Jayce mentioned Singed, Viktor did his best to not let recognition show on his face. His old friend had said nothing to him about this when he visited—but why would he? Viktor never would have thought to ask. Singed didn’t seem like the type who would go around kidnapping Piltovian heiresses and testing out drugs on them. He was smarter than that. There was something more to this, something that Jayce didn’t know and that Caitlyn hadn’t told him.

Now Caitlyn Kiramman was “on shimmer”, as Jayce had poorly put it. Viktor held himself back from explaining that not all forms of the drug worked in the same ways. After all, he had just used some on himself a few days ago. He anxiously rubbed his leg, knowing that the only thing separating himself from Jayce’s judgement was the fabric of his pants. He had told Singed that Jayce would understand. Now, he wasn’t so sure.

“They had her at her parents’ house, but she…” Jayce’s expression twisted into something between fear and grief. “Something happened. It wasn’t safe to keep her there. So she’s here, in one of the cells upstairs.”

“And you said Dr. Meved is treating her?”

“Yes.”

Viktor was familiar with the man. He had made a name for himself at the academy by studying undercity chemtech, and eventually pivoting to shimmer itself when the drug flooded the streets seven years ago. Shimmer wasn’t as much of a problem topside as it was below, but it still made its way into shadier parts of their gilded streets.

Meved earned his laurels by developing a detoxicant that would purge the body of shimmer. It worked exceptionally well and had become the default treatment for overdoses and addicts in Piltover. Despite this, the medicine was not readily available in the undercity, where it was needed the most. On top of this, Viktor had heard less successful tales about the tests on those who had used more aggressive versions of the drug—the people who took the nastier kind of shimmer that warped their bodies beyond recognition and turned them into “monsters”. He wasn’t sure if the rumors were true, but it was said that some of the volunteers in those trials had died.

“I’d like to see her right away,” Viktor said, gripping his cane and pushing himself onto his feet.

“R-right.”

Jayce was almost walking too fast for Viktor to keep up with him. In the years they had spent together, Viktor had only ever seen him act like this a few times. The last he could recall was when they had first met, and he was so desperate to do anything to save his research. This, somehow, was worse. It wasn’t about a ruined dream—it was about a ruined person, a girl who had been like a sister to him. And though he had said nothing of the sort, it was clear that Jayce blamed himself for whatever was happening.

What was happening was far worse than Viktor had imagined.

Caitlyn had been put into one of the Council’s holding cells. Someone (likely Jayce) had tried to make it more comfortable for her, with sheets and pillows and a bit of furniture, but it was still a jail cell. Her left arm was still chained to the wall above the bed where she lay, unconscious. 

Viktor’s first thought upon seeing Caitlyn was of Rio—that poor creature that Singed had used so cruelly to develop his drugs, the horrific sight that had made Viktor abandon him as a child. He had seen Rio earlier that day, still preserved in a tank in his lab. Still suffering.

Every inch of Caitlyn’s skin was riddled with dark, pulsating veins. In some places, they bulged outwards, and would occasionally glow a dim, purple-ish pink color. The skin underneath the web of veins was pallid, corpse white, and she looked like she had lost an unhealthy amount of weight. She had been dressed in simple white clothes, a shirt and shorts, but they were stained with red and black smears (blood and something else he could not place). Her right thigh was bandaged, as was her right forearm. She twitched and convulsed in her sleep, her eyes darting back and forth under her eyelids. Every now and then, she would moan softly in pain.

Viktor barely knew Caitlyn outside of her relationship with Jayce, but seeing her like this made his heart ache.

“Jayce… what did they do to her?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

His partner sat down on a chair by her bed and held his head in his hands.

“The detoxicant. They said she ripped out the IV at the house and… caused a scene. So they knocked her out, brought her here, and injected her with more of it while she was unconscious. It was like… like her body was trying to reject it. They practically had to hold it inside her to keep it from spewing right back out.”

“And that didn’t tell you that perhaps something was wrong with the methods you were using?”

“It wasn’t me!” he shouted, throwing his hands out. He held them in the air in front of him, flexing his fingers like he was trying to grasp something invisible before clenching them into tight fists. “I just… This isn’t my area of expertise, Vik. I make machines. I don’t… fix people.”

I am not sure she needs fixing.

Viktor stepped closer to the bed. It was obvious that Singed had not given her a dose of ordinary shimmer. Especially because it would not stay in her system for an entire month without her taking more. Meved likely knew this, and no matter what Caitlyn had told Jayce, assumed that she had continued to take it in the following weeks, diagnosing her with an ongoing addiction. Thus, treatment would be necessary.

But that was not what had happened. Caitlyn had been given something new, something that likely no one else would ever be given again. If it had done what Singed wanted it to, she wouldn’t be here right now. She would be with Rio.

Viktor stepped closer to the bed to examine her more thoroughly. Her body was behaving in a manner akin to that of other shimmer users, but there was a notable difference. The glow within her was faint, weak. He could see it struggling to move through her, fighting against the detoxicant that was consuming it. He made a few quick hypotheses.

First, that Caitlyn’s body had been “reworked” to produce and run off of this shimmer variant. In other cases where Meved’s detoxicant was used, it was briefly painful for the patient, but quickly provided relief as the drug was removed from their system. It also worked relatively fast, and it looked like Caitlyn had been here for quite some time. The shimmer in her body must be fighting against the detoxicant, trying to produce more. But it appeared that it was losing.

Second, that the detoxicant was destroying more than just the shimmer.

“Jayce?”

“Yes?”

“Was she this thin when you brought her back?”

Jayce grimaced as he looked at her.

“No, she was a healthy weight. Same as she always has been.”

“So this rapid weight loss occurred… what? Overnight?”

“It seems so, yeah.”

Viktor bit the inside of his cheek. If Caitlyn’s body was running off shimmer, then it must have become an integral part of her biological ecosystem, pervading throughout all her tissue. Now, the detoxicant was eating away at it. Likely fat first, then muscle.

Third, that the fastest way to fix this would be to flood her system with more shimmer to overpower the detoxicant. This is the part that Jayce would not like.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

“Yes, of course! There’s no one in the world I trust more than you,” said Jayce, and he said it so earnestly that Viktor’s heart fluttered, and he felt a warmth in his cheeks. He returned his attention to Caitlyn, dismissing the feeling.

“The detoxicant is killing her. Whatever she was injected with was not normal shimmer, and she was not lying to you when she said she hadn’t taken any more since then.” Viktor took a deep breath. “If we want to help her, we have to give her more shimmer to combat the detoxicant.”

Jayce looked utterly torn. It was not what he had wanted to hear, but that there was even hope of saving her at all seemed to restore some of his morale. Light returned to his eyes.

“Are you sure?” he asked, looking up at Viktor to confirm.

“Yes.” Viktor paused, searching the depths of his partner’s eyes, praying to gods he didn’t believe in that Jayce would trust him. “And I have some that we can use.”

Jayce balked and stood up so abruptly that he knocked the chair over. “What!?”

“I promise, I can explain, but we need to act fast if we want to help her.”

“Is this why you went to the undercity!?”

“Yes. I needed it for the hexcore.”

“To do what!?”

Viktor closed his eyes, grounding himself. “To heal myself, Jayce. Shimmer is a drug, but it is also a medicine . There are many clinics in the undercity that use it in perfectly safe and acceptable treatments. It is dangerous, but it is so much more than what we pretend it is.” Jayce opened his mouth to speak, but Viktor cut him off as he continued. “I am not advocating for its use, I am not saying it should be legal, but I am saying that we have misconstrued its true nature. Men like Meved have taken advantage of those perceptions to further their own ambitions. If we let his ‘treatment’ continue, Caitlyn will die.”

Jayce looked at Viktor, then at Caitlyn. He set his jaw and closed his eyes.

Viktor knew that the onset of his illness had made him look terrible, and that Caitlyn looked even worse.

He would not forsake us. He cares too much.

After a long silence, Jayce took a slow, shaky breath,

“Fine.”

X

Viktor would have to make another trip to see Singed later, as he had to unload the entire vial he had gotten that morning into Caitlyn. He injected the drug into her left arm, as the right had clearly been used to administer the detoxicant and was in no shape to take another needle.

The shimmer got to work almost immediately, lighting up the network of veins like lightning. Dim glows became vibrant, flashing lights that pulsed through her whole body. It was almost beautiful. After just a few seconds, her eyes shot open, and she sat up. Viktor, who had been sitting on the bed,was so startled that almost fell on the floor, but Jayce caught him before he could topple over.

Caitlyn leaned forward, gasping for air, and then gagged. She retched up a mixture of unnaturally colored fluids and chunks of tissue, all riddled with lines of a thick white substance that Viktor could only assume was Meved’s famous detoxicant. She coughed and spat until the mess had cleared from her throat, then weakly lifted her head to look at the two men in the room with her.

“C-Cait?”

It was Jayce that spoke. She swallowed and made a face of disgust as she tasted her own mouth. Jayce shuffled backwards, grabbing a glass of water off the nearby table and rushing it over to her. She tried to hold it, but she couldn’t lift her arms or fully move her fingers, so he held the glass to her lips. She downed it all in one go.

“Feeling any better?” Viktor asked as she finished.

“You… could say… that,” she said, still having trouble catching her breath. Her eyes, glowing bright pink, narrowed as she laid eyes on Jayce. “ You, ” she said with so much venom in her voice that even Viktor felt like he was in danger.

“Caitlyn, I am so, so sorry, I should have—”

“It’s too late for apologies,” she growled. “Do you have any idea what they’ve done to me? How much this hurts?” She tried to lift her arms but could barely raise them higher than her chest before they dropped back down into her lap. “I can’t fucking move. I feel like I’m… like I’m full of worms, and they’re eating me alive.” Slowly, painfully, she turned to look at Viktor. “Did he tell you? My own mother shot me.”

He had not. That explained the bandaged leg. Viktor could not help but to look at Jayce in shock. His partner had no rebuttal. He simply stepped away from the bed and hung his head in shame.

“Caitlyn, I’m really sorry—”

“Gods, shut up!” she groaned. “Apparently, there’s no ‘Caitlyn’ anymore. Just another shimmer monster to be put down.”

She looked down at her own arms, at the throbbing veins pulsing with light, the chemicals within her working to remove the detoxicant from her body.

“I hope the dose was enough. It was all I had,” Viktor said softly.

Caitlyn tried to smile at him, but it was almost like the corners of her mouth refused to lift themselves. She sighed.

“So, what next? Are they going to put me on trial? Prop me up in front of the Council and have them vote on what to do with me?”

“No,” said Jayce. “We have to get you out of here.”

“Are you going to issue me a pardon, Councillor Talis? Let me walk out of here? Oh, wait, I can’t move my fucking legs.”

Every word she said cut Jayce like a knife. He stopped trying to talk and let Viktor take the lead.

“Someone was taking care of you in the undercity, correct?”

“... yes.”

“I will contact them. Jayce can create a distraction during a Council meeting, and your friends can come get you.” Jayce did not say anything, so Viktor took that as an agreement. “How do I find them?”

Caitlyn leaned over, weakly dragging her hand through the sheets. Eventually her fist emerged from the fabric, holding tight to a small strip of leather—a collar that looked to have been cut, as the buckle was still tightly latched.

“Take this to Singed. Tell him it’s for Jinx.”

X

Singed had not been expecting visitors two days in a row, much less the same visitor. He seemed like he was busy working on something when Viktor arrived, but whatever it was he kept hidden from his former pupil.

“Back for more already?”

Viktor frowned. “Unfortunately, yes. I ran into a recent experiment of yours, actually, and she needed it more than me.”

Singed raised his brow, but without being able to see the bottom half of his face, Viktor couldn’t entirely tell what emotion that was supposed to convey. Surprise? Interest? Or was he simply acting smug?

“I was wondering where Miss Kiramman wound up. Never came back to refill her prescription… No matter. I assume she’s receiving top quality care from your world class doctors.” Singed turned his back to Viktor, washing off some bloodied medical instruments in the sink.

“What exactly did you give her?”

“Ultimately, a failed experiment. But it did help me make valuable progress.” He paused, looking over his shoulder. “Did something happen to her?”

His interest, Viktor knew, was purely scientific. Singed was wondering if whatever shimmer concoction he had given Caitlyn had undue side effects that would affect whatever it was he was doing now.

“A Piltovian doctor used a detoxicant on her that was eating her alive. I gave her more shimmer, and I think it’s flushing everything out of her system. But she’s weak, and she can’t get out on her own.” Viktor pulled the collar from his pocket. “She gave me this, said it’s for Jinx.”

“Intriguing that she sent you to me rather than Silco. Must have anticipated that they wouldn’t let you in to see him. Or, perhaps she suspected that you knew who I was.”

Viktor blinked. That was exactly it. Caitlyn had pegged him from the very moment she woke up. She hadn’t even told him how to get to Singed’s lab—just handed him a piece of leather and told him who to find. She knew he knew.

She would have made a fine detective.

“You… You know how to contact this ‘Jinx’?” he asked.

“Yes, I will pass along the message. I am a sentimental man, after all. It would be a waste if I let one of my experiments wither away in such a manner, abused by some idiot calling himself a ‘doctor’.” Singed dried his hands and walked across the room, taking the collar from Viktor. “Where should I tell Jinx to aim her guns?”

Viktor shuddered. “There is no need for unnecessary violence. We will be creating a distraction this Wednesday night during the Council meeting. The back entrance to the Council building will be left unguarded, and Caitlyn’s cell unattended.”

Singed chuckled.

“With Jinx, there is always a need for unnecessary violence.”

Chapter Text

In the following days, Viktor gave Caitlyn more shimmer injections. They were smaller, more frequent doses. The detoxicant was still ripping through her, but it wasn’t as bad as before. Her muscles were recovering. She could move again, albeit not much. Walking was still impossible, but she could lift her arms and use her hands to an extent.

Jayce tried to come visit a few times. She wasn’t happy to see him, but she was in no position to refuse him either, so she put up with his platitudes.

Caitlyn had been informed of the plan. On Wednesday night, during the Council meeting, Jayce was going to put forth a proposal for the undercity—for Zaun’s independence. All the chaos during the search for her had stirred up the twin cities, and Silco had used this opportunity to arrange a meeting with Jayce after Caitlyn had been returned home. Silco’s demands were steep, but all Jayce had asked for in return were the people responsible for the Progress Day attacks, the robbery, and the bridge bombing.

He didn’t know it, but he wanted Jinx—the very person he was helping to infiltrate the Council building. Ironic.

Silco had refused him, but Jayce was going to take the proposal before the Council anyways. It was the perfect topic to get them heated enough to not notice a prison break happening under their noses. And Jayce wanted to do it regardless—he was exhausted by the conflicts between Piltover and Zaun. To let them self-govern would be a weight off his shoulders.

Caitlyn was intrigued by Silco’s refusal to hand over Jinx. She didn’t know much about the man outside of her brief encounters with him during her time in Zaun, but it seemed like he cared for his daughter enough to turn down an incredibly easy path to independence. That meant something to her. She would decide exactly what it meant at a later date, when she had less on her mind.

Every time he stopped by, Jayce filled her head with his problems, which served to distract her from her own, and she was at least thankful for that. The inside of Caitlyn’s head was not a fun place to be at the moment. If she was left alone with her thoughts for too long, she started to fracture.

Her mother. Her own mother.

Caitlyn and Cassandra had always been at odds, always disagreed, but she was her mother. Never in a million years would Caitlyn have expected her to pull a gun on her, let alone actually fire it. It was outrageous, unthinkable.

But it had happened, and it confirmed what Caitlyn had suspected all along—she had been irrevocably changed in a way that made her unrecognizable to the people that knew her before. There had been fear in her mother’s eyes. Cassandra had not seen her daughter. She had seen a monster, lunging at her, ready to tear her to pieces.

And Caitlyn would have, wouldn’t she? That was the part that she struggled with the most. She had tried to attack her mother. Cassandra had the gun, but Caitlyn had shot first, so to speak. Her mother was just defending herself.

Would she have killed her mother? Caitlyn didn’t know, and it ate away at her insides as much as the detoxicant. It had been a thoughtless attack, spurred by her instincts and instability. As it did so often these days, her body had moved before she could think about what she was doing. Before she could analyze the consequences of her actions, or even figure out what her actions were.

She looked like a monster, and now she felt like one, too.

Caitlyn couldn’t stay here. She had become incompatible with Piltover. She was damaged, she was unstable, she was dangerous. She was unfit to be around other people. If she hadn’t been immobilized by the detoxicant, she probably would have tried to hurt Jayce—or even Viktor, who had done nothing to harm her. Something inside her couldn’t help but lash out defensively when anyone came near. She was behaving like a caged animal, terrified of everything happening around her.

And she had no source of comfort. Viktor was nice to her, and she appreciated that, but he couldn’t ease the ache in her chest. She had even given away the collar, the last bit of Jinx she had left. The guards had cut it off of her neck when she was brought into the Council building, unceremoniously removed as they stripped her and put her into prison clothes. Snip snip! And it was gone. At the time, she still had enough strength in her to lash out, to grab the strip of leather before they could throw it away. And she used the last of her strength to hold onto it, refusing to let them take it from her.

Now, it was gone too. Caitlyn was truly, utterly alone.

Wednesday. She would see Jinx on Wednesday.

Maybe she would see Jinx on Wednesday. The girl probably despised her now. Caitlyn had broken her promise. In the moment, it felt right. She was making a sacrifice. She was trying to keep Jinx safe.

Now, it felt foolish. It felt like something the old Caitlyn would do, and that kind of behavior didn’t align with who she was now. She wasn’t an enforcer. She wasn’t even a Kiramman anymore. She had no power, no influence, and no one who would listen to her other than Viktor. Despite his willingness to help her, she could never trust Jayce again. Not after this.

Layers of identity built up over two decades shed from her like snakeskin. As a war between chemicals raged inside her body, she felt herself being killed and revived, born anew over and over. The pain faded into the background as she entered a dissociative state, both within and without herself.

Marcus was pointing a gun at her. Her mother was pointing a gun at her. Her father was pointing a gun at her. Vi was pointing a gun at her. Jayce was pointing a gun at her.

Caitlyn was pointing a gun at herself. Dressed in that prissy little enforcer uniform she hated so much, royal blue and gold, skirted with impractical ruffles. She raised the pistol, put it into her mouth, and pulled the trigger.

X

Wednesday came and the day passed by slowly. Caitlyn sat alone in her cell, watching the sunlight crawl across the wall, stretching out the shadows of the bars on the window. No one came to visit her. They were too busy. Viktor had warned her that preparations had to be made.

She flexed her fingers, opening and closing her fist. He had told her she needed to keep moving her hands, her arms, her legs. It would help to rebuild the muscle she had lost and restore her mobility. She was able to stand now, but she still had trouble walking on her own. Earlier, she had tried to get up and look out the window, but she had fallen and had to drag herself back into the bed. It was pitiful, and she was embarrassed by her impotence.

Would Jinx come for her? Would the plan work as intended? It almost didn’t matter. Caitlyn hoped that, if things didn’t work out, someone would have enough pity for her to put her out of her misery. She couldn’t stand to live like this. It would be fitting, she thought, if her mother would be the one to put her down, like she was an ailing dog, unloved and of use to no one.

Night fell over Piltover. The sunlight was replaced by moonlight, filling the cell with a cool glow and darkening its corners with deeper shadows. Caitlyn sat with her back against the wall, staring out through the door. She could see the back of the guard’s head. And she saw when someone came to talk to him, and when he turned to leave. Then, there was no one but her.

An eternity passed. Time itself could have stopped, and Caitlyn wouldn’t have noticed. The only sound was that of her own labored breathing.

Then, a clamor down the hall. The sounds of boots against marble. Several pairs, running. Incomprehensible shouting. The rattling of cell doors. Caitlyn tried to sit up straighter.

Eyes peeked through the bars of her cell door. There was a whirring of machinery, hissing and burbling, and then a red hot blade burst through the door, slicing through the steel like it was butter. It cut the lock out completely, leaving the door loose. It swung open, and there stood Sevika. Caitlyn never thought she’d be happy to see her, and she wasn’t sure if she was, but she certainly wasn’t scared.

“She’s in here,” said the domineering woman.

Sevika stepped aside, and there was Jinx.

Jinx, who looked so angry, but Caitlyn couldn’t tell who or what it was directed at. But that anger faded into shock when she laid eyes on Caitlyn, taking in the state of her. Then, it came back tenfold.

She flitted across the room in a blur, appearing beside Caitlyn’s bed like a bolt of lightning.

“What— Who did this to you?” Jinx was angry at first, practically growling, but then her face fell and she sounded like a scared child as she continued. “What happened? What— Why? Why did you leave? Why did you leave me!? You said— You promised!”

Jinx sounded like she couldn’t decide which question was the most important. Caitlyn recognized the look in her eyes, that frantic terror mixed with rage that meant Jinx was not all there.

“I’m sorry,” Caitlyn blurted out, and that broke the dam. Words and tears poured out of her. “I’m so sorry, Jinx. I broke my promise. I’m sorry. I just wanted to keep you safe. I thought it would help. I’m so sorry. I just wanted to help. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it. I’m—”

She was cut off when Jinx threw her arms around her, holding Caitlyn so tightly that she felt like she was going to snap. Caitlyn couldn’t lift her arms to hug her back, but the touch was comforting nonetheless.

Jinx stepped back, looking her over, brows furrowed.

“I’m still mad at you,” she said. “But… we can talk about this. We can fix it, I think. You… You made a mistake. That’s…” Jinx shut her eyes and shook her head, as if she was fighting something off. “We have to get you out of here.”

Sevika stepped forward, that hot blade sliding out from her fist to slice the chain that was holding Caitlyn to the wall.

“Can you walk?”

“N-no,” said Caitlyn, hanging her head in shame.

“I’ll carry her,” the woman said to Jinx. “You go find your doctor.”

“What? No! Jinx, that’s not the plan!” Caitlyn tried to protest, but Sevika was already lifting her and putting her over her shoulder. She was surprisingly gentle.

“Singed told me what they did to you,” Jinx said, her voice low. She stood with her back to Caitlyn. “It’s fucked. I can’t just let that slide.”

“I don’t care about that! I just want to get out of here.”

“Sevika will take you.”

“Jinx, please!”

Caitlyn tried to reach out towards her, but Jinx stepped away, and Sevika started to carry her off in the opposite direction.

“Be quiet,” Sevika hissed, jostling her a little.

There was nothing Caitlyn could do. She watched Jinx disappear, going deeper into the Council building while Sevika carried her down, down, down and out through the back, then into a sewer grate. There were others with them—more of Silco’s goons, no doubt. But none of them had gone with Jinx. They followed Sevika and helped her carry Caitlyn deeper into Piltover’s bowels. Caitlyn had long theorized that the sewers connected to the undercity, and that certain groups used them to get in and out without catching the eyes of the enforcers. Her suspicions were confirmed as they went further down and directional markers started to appear on the walls. She couldn’t make sense of them, but the others knew how to interpret the code.

Caitlyn was not sure how far they had gotten, but they must have still been in Piltover when they heard the explosions. Caitlyn screwed her eyes shut and tried not to imagine what was happening. She tried not to see Jinx, getting hurt, getting caught, getting killed.

The cacophony grew distant and dull, and there was a distinct change in the architecture of the tunnels as they crossed into Zaun.

Zaun. The nation of Zaun. Its own distinct entity. Caitlyn wasn’t sure how the Council would react to Jayce’s proposal, or if they had even had time to now that Jinx was on the loose inside the building. She thought of what her mother would say, how she would vote. With a bullet, most likely.

Caitlyn started to drift in and out of consciousness. Though she was on the mend, the detoxicant was still inside her, doing its best to tear her apart. She only caught fragmented glimpses of their journey. They made it out of the tunnels, onto the streets. People parted before Sevika and her crew, eyeing the sickly girl thrown over her shoulders. Neon signs. Hushed whispers. Loud music.

When Caitlyn came to, she was in a bed. A proper bed, and not in Jinx’s ramshackle “home”. It was nothing grand, but she was resting in some sort of inn room, with the usual dresser and chair and somewhat cozy atmosphere. She could hear music thumping below the floorboards and the sound of people chattering away. Sickly, undercity sunlight filtered in through the dirty glass window.

There was an IV in her arm, and her instincts told her to remove it, but she hesitated long enough to examine what was in it and caught herself before she could tear it out. Shimmer, vibrant purple-pink, coursed through the tube embedded in her left arm. The dark veins under her skin pulsed with light, and she felt like she was becoming whole again. She could move. She almost felt like she could stand, and walk around.

The door opened, and Sevika stepped inside, not expecting Caitlyn to be awake. Her eyes widened, and she leaned back out to call for someone. Caitlyn heard a familiar hobbling, the sound of a cane on wood, and Viktor entered the room.

“Viktor? What are you doing here?” she asked, pushing herself upright.

“Don’t move too much just yet,” he said, raising a hand. “I’m sure you’re feeling better, but we don’t want to push it.”

“Why are you here? Where is here?”

“You’re in The Last Drop,” said Sevika, standing in the doorway. “Under Silco’s protection.”

That was interesting, but Caitlyn was too focused on Viktor’s presence to think further on it.

“Viktor,” she said sternly. “Why are you here?”

“I made arrangements to leave Piltover,” he said solemnly. “After what happened, I don’t think I could continue to work with Jayce or the Council. I want to help people, not hurt them.”

“What did happen? I heard… explosions.”

Viktor’s lips pressed into a thin line.

“Your friend Jinx caused quite a stir. The only casualties were guards and enforcers, but she kidnapped Dr. Meved and escaped pursuit. Thankfully, the stir she caused made it easy for me to gather some things from the lab and slip out unnoticed the next day.”

Caitlyn breathed a sigh of relief. “And where is she now?”

“Busy,” Sevika said curtly. “She’ll certainly come by to visit later. For now, I’ll leave you two alone. Silco wants to see you when you’re done, Viktor.”

He nodded at her as she left, closing the door behind her.

“Viktor, you shouldn’t have left—”

“I didn’t do this just because of you, Caitlyn. I did it for myself. I’ve long felt like the Council has lost sight of what’s important, and it has been decades since they’ve done anything to enable progress for the people of the undercity. This was my home before I went to the Academy. It’s not absurd for me to come back.”

Caitlyn couldn’t argue with that. She just frowned and looked down at the IV in her arm.

“What you gave me wasn’t enough…?”

Viktor sat down in the chair by her bedside.

“No. Though it should only take you a few more days to fully recover, now that we have unlimited access to shimmer. I tried to get more of the formula that Singed used on you, but he insisted that he didn’t have any more. When Jinx turns up, I’m going to suggest a blood transfusion. That should give you a big boost.” He leaned forward, steepling his fingers in front of his face. “Singed wouldn’t explain the formula to me. He told me that if I wanted to know more, I would have to analyze it myself. And I am. I apologize for doing so without asking, but I took some of your fluids to study.”

Caitlyn waved dismissively. Worse had been done to her at this point. She didn’t care.

“I don’t have any answers for you yet, but if I come across anything important, I will be sure to let you know. And Jinx.”

And Jinx. Caitlyn’s thoughts drifted away from the man sitting beside her and his scientific ambitions to the blue-haired girl who had valiantly walked into the Council building to liberate her from her medical torment.

Jinx had been upset with her, and Caitlyn was glad that she was. She didn’t feel like she deserved to be so easily forgiven for making such a stupid decision. She had betrayed Jinx’s trust, and she would have to work to earn it back. Yet, Jinx still saved her. She said they could fix things, and Caitlyn desperately wanted to, so much so that it was almost embarrassing. After everything she had been through, she felt like there was no place left for her but with Jinx. If she fucked that up, she had nothing.

But how could she even begin to regain her trust? What could Caitlyn do that would demonstrate her dedication to Jinx?

She had no idea, but she had time to think about it. After all, she was still recovering. Viktor and Sevika surely wouldn’t let her out of this room until they were sure she had fully recovered.

“You seem out of it. Are you feeling alright?”

Viktor’s question drew her attention back to him.

“Oh, yes. I was just thinking. Sorry.”

“That’s alright. Just making sure.”

Caitlyn looked at him. Viktor looked defeated, but somewhat hopeful despite it all. He seemed as if he was grieving. In choosing to leave Piltover, he was leaving behind most of his life, but also all of his privilege. No more easy access to tools, to resources, to information. Even though he was an accomplished scientist, coming down to Zaun meant putting himself at a disadvantage. It was a bold move. It was brave.

And he was right. It wasn’t crazy for a kid from the undercity to go back home. There were many cases of people making it up to Piltover and finding that the lifestyle didn’t agree with them. Zaun, as it was now called, was a very different kind of city, with very different cultures and customs. Ironically, it was far more common for Piltovians to successfully migrate to the undercity. The process was easier and involved far less red tape.

Going up from the bottom was challenging, but falling down from the top? One small mistake was enough to send someone tumbling down into Zaun’s welcoming arms.

Caitlyn had never thought it would happen to her.

You need to be more careful.

She grit her teeth, hissing. Viktor tilted his head.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing, I…”

She contemplated telling him. Of all people, Viktor might be able to provide some kind of real help. Then again, she was already so sick of being confined to bed, unable to move or do anything on her own. If she told him, he could potentially extend her treatment to keep her under observation. Keep her away from Jinx…

“Nothing,” she said. “I’m just tired.”

“Ah, I’ll leave you alone then.” He rose from his seat. “Hopefully Jinx will come around later, and we can do a transfusion. After that, things should stabilize, and you can get back on your feet.”

“Good to hear. And… thank you, Viktor. For everything.”

“You do not need to thank me. I wanted to help.”

No one else did.

Viktor left Caitlyn alone, and she laid her head back against the pillows, staring up at the ceiling above. A blood transfusion, and then she would be back to normal. Or whatever normal was for her now. Back to being a freak of nature.

She had opened herself up inside that cell in the Council building and looked at what was inside. It was an ugly mess, something that had been buried down so deep that it never would have resurfaced if this hadn’t happened. Vulnerable, broken, afraid, searching for someone, anyone to cling to. A lonely little child who couldn’t make friends.

No titles. No status. No house.

Just her.

It was embarrassing for Caitlyn to admit to herself just how much she needed Jinx. Not even in a particularly romantic or lustful way—just being around her would be enough. Her presence alone comforted Caitlyn, to know that someone was there for her when she needed it, regardless of the actual nature of the relationship.

Her hand unconsciously went to her throat, rubbing the skin where the collar had previously been. She felt uncomfortably exposed without it.

Chapter Text

Jinx demanded to speak with Caitlyn privately before the transfusion took place. Viktor was irritated by this, as his goal was to get Caitlyn back on her feet as quickly as possible, but he also couldn’t force Jinx to consent to the transfusion. If her one condition was a conversation, she would have it. Regardless of how it went, she agreed to donate her blood to Caitlyn.

Caitlyn was made aware of this agreement shortly after Jinx finally returned to The Last Drop late that night. Caitlyn had no idea what time it was, as she had been falling in and out of sleep all day, but it had grown darker outside by the time she heard Jinx’s familiar clunking and jangling footsteps moving through the hallway outside her room. If she had been in better condition, she would have leapt up from the bed and thrown the door open to chase after her. But she wasn’t, so she stayed miserably confined to the bed, her IV drip of shimmer acting as a new, unpleasant kind of leash keeping her tethered there.

Viktor came to speak to her first and prepare her for the transfusion, then he left. A few unbearable minutes passed before the door opened again and Jinx stepped inside.

She looked like she had been quite dirty, but someone had forced her to clean herself up a bit. Despite this, she smelled like gunpowder. Her makeup was smeared, and there was still evidence of her brutality all over—dirt, debris, ash, blood. The last was likely not hers, but it still worried Caitlyn to see it on her.

Caitlyn pushed herself into a sitting position when Jinx entered. Her mobility and strength had recovered, and she no longer felt the slimy, wormlike sensation of the detoxicant crawling through her body. She tried not to look too eager as Jinx walked over to her, each heavy footstep echoing throughout the room. Vi and Jinx walked in the same manner, Caitlyn realized. With a relaxed swagger that was casual and unassuming but could easily be transformed into a stance of intimidation at a moment’s notice. But where Vi was rigid and solid in her movements, her younger sister was loose and fluid. Jinx moved like something outside her body was pulling her forward, and she was instinctively following it.

Jinx turned the chair Viktor had been using and sat down in it backwards, leaning over the backrest and sitting her chin atop her crossed arms. Caitlyn couldn’t read her expression, but the look in her dull, pink eyes was familiar. It was almost like she wasn’t fully there.

They stared at each other for a few silent moments. Jinx’s eyes roamed across the exposed parts of Caitlyn’s body. The horrid, bulging black and purple veins had mostly receded. At least, they had faded to patches of faint lines running under her pale skin, as they had been before. Caitlyn hadn’t had a chance to look in the mirror, but she knew the ones crawling out from her eyes were likely still visible. There were still vibrant lines of shimmer pulsing out from where the IV was embedded in her forearm, but they weren’t stretching quite as far anymore.

The worst of it all was on Caitlyn’s right forearm, where the detoxicant had been injected. Her body had fought fiercely against the substance. Meved and his doctors had to inject her multiple times to force it into her system. The cluster of injection wounds had festered as the detoxicant ate away at her body and the shimmer warred against it. The inside of her forearm was now covered in a disgusting, barely healed cluster of wounds that would leave a massive scar behind. It had been bandaged, but Viktor had removed the dressings and left them off as it had scabbed over. He had discovered that her healing was far faster than that of a normal person.

Jinx’s gaze lingered on that gnarly wound, and her expression finally changed, brows knitting together and lips curving slightly downwards. Not quite anger, not quite sadness. Something in between. The dull look in her eyes cleared as they traveled up Caitlyn’s arm to her face.

Disappointment. That’s what it was.

“You left. You tricked me and you left,” she said quietly. “And then this—” Jinx loosely gestured at Caitlyn. “—happened to you. Why the fuck would you do that? We could have handled those guys. I mean, we could have just ran like you said!”

“I’m sorry—”

“I waited for you! I went all over the place, everywhere I thought you could’ve meant, and you never came!” Jinx cried, her voice raw. She was holding back tears. “I thought we were the same! You said we were the same.”

“I know, I know. Jinx, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t a lie, I swear.”

Jinx held up a hand, silencing her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to ground herself.

“I’m—I’m trying not to lose it,” she said. “You said… you wanted to help. What did you mean?”

Caitlyn let out a shaky exhale. “I thought… It was stupid, really. I felt terrible that the enforcers were pushing into the undercity and hurting people because of me. I didn’t like that you were having to deal with them for Silco. So, I thought if I went back h—if I went back up, it would fix things. You would be safe, and the topsiders would leave Zaun alone.”

Caitlyn paused, searching Jinx’s face for understanding. It wasn’t quite there yet.

“So you lied to me, and you left.”

Caitlyn hung her head. “I’m really sorry, Jinx. I wasn’t lying to you when I said that I would stay with you. I meant it. I just made a foolish, spur-of-the-moment decision, and I regret it. I would never do that to you again. Hell, if I could go back, I wouldn’t have done it at all.”

It was Jinx’s turn to examine Caitlyn’s expression. Her eyes narrowed, but there was a glint of hope behind the suspicion.

“Why should I trust you?”

Caitlyn swallowed. She had agonized over this, trying to figure out what she could do to rebuild what she had destroyed.

“I’m… not sure yet, if I’m being honest. I can’t give you a good reason other than that I feel terrible about what I did, and I—”

Her voice caught in her throat. The words she was about to say were terrifying. Saying them out loud would make everything real.

But it was the truth, and she had to say it out loud, if only to admit it to herself.

“I would never try to go back up there again. They don’t want me anymore.”

Jinx’s skeptical expression softened, and she reached out, her fingertips ghosting across Caitlyn’s arm. She let her hand rest on the edge of the bed, balling it into a fist, her brows now furrowed in worry rather than frustration.

“Caitlyn…”

“I made a mistake,” said Caitlyn. “I feel terrible. I… I hope you can see that I learned my lesson.”

She raised her right arm, gesturing to the marred flesh.

“They’ll never do that to anyone again,” Jinx said quietly. “I made sure of it.”

Caitlyn pursed her lips. She imagined what Jinx had done to Meved. The possibilities terrified her, but she felt a sick satisfaction brewing.

Was this not another form of justice? It wasn’t the law, but it was what Caitlyn thought was right. She had long disagreed with certain aspects of Piltover’s government. There were rules and regulations to follow that made it harder for justice to be swiftly and properly delivered. The system was not built to serve the people—it was built to serve itself.

“Good,” said Caitlyn, still looking at her arm. “I’m glad.”

Jinx raised an eyebrow. “You’re glad? Little miss ex-enforcer, happy that I tortured and murdered a bunch of Piltie doctors?”

Caitlyn winced, but she nodded. “I am. They deserved it.”

Jinx’s hand moved forward, fingers gently wrapping around Caitlyn’s arm.

“You’re… different,” she said.

Of course Jinx could see it. Caitlyn was starting to think that the girl understood her better than anyone else.

“I am.”

“I’m sorry that it had to happen like this. I…” Jinx squeezed her arm. “A long time ago, I also made a really terrible mistake. It was painful, and I lost everything. But… I found Silco, and he helped me. He forgave me. I was just trying to help…” Caitlyn watched Jinx grow distant for a moment before snapping back to the present. “So I get it. I’m upset, but I get it. Sometimes we do things that we think will help, but they just make it all worse. I can’t stay mad at you for that. Not when I’ve done the same.” Jinx let go of her arm and looked away. “We are the same.”

Caitlyn lifted her left arm and snatched Jinx’s hand, holding it tight. Jinx looked back at her, and as their eyes met, pink-stained tears began to fall from Caitlyn’s.

“I’m sorry,” she said for the millionth time, her voice wavering. “I’m really sorry, Jinx. This isn’t what I wanted to happen.”

Jinx could hold onto her disappointment no longer. She rose from the chair, shoving it behind her as she fell to her knees beside the bed, clutching Caitlyn’s hand.

“I know. I know. It’s alright. We can fix it! I know we can.”

Caitlyn wiped her eyes with her free hand.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated. “I know I can’t earn your trust again with just words. I hope I can prove it to you with my actions.”

“You can. You can.” Jinx stood up, still clutching Caitlyn’s hand. “I should go get your… your little nerdy friend. We need to get you fixed up.”

Caitlyn nodded, still wiping away tears. She didn’t let go of Jinx’s hand until the younger girl started to walk away, letting her fingers fall when they were too far apart to stay connected.

Jinx fetched Viktor, and he came back to the room with her to hook up the equipment for the transfusion.

“I don’t think we’ll need much. Caitlyn isn’t that low on blood, as far as I can tell. This is less about replenishing and more about giving her body a healthy boost.” Viktor gestured for Jinx to sit down in the chair by the bed. “Cait, I’m going to unhook your IV for this. We may not need to reconnect it after, anyway.”

As Viktor moved about, leaning on his cane as he did, Caitlyn noticed he was wearing gloves. It was not something she had ever seen him do before outside of volatile lab situations. And these were not safety gloves—they were slim fitting and stylish. Was it something about being in the undercity? Or was he hiding something? She didn’t ask. She was too tired. A mystery for another day.

Viktor removed the IV from her arm and replaced it with the line for the transfusion. Jinx didn’t look happy to be having a needle shoved into her, but she grit her teeth and allowed him to jab it into her arm.

Jinx looked away from the procedure, but Caitlyn watched curiously. The blood drawn from Jinx was still red, but it had a sparkling, pinkish glow to it. Nothing overwhelming, but certainly not normal. As it was pushed through the tube into her, Caitlyn could feel the blood entering her body. Unlike the foreign intrusion of the detoxicant, it felt warm and comforting. And it spread quickly. Every time Viktor pushed more through, it rushed through Caitlyn’s veins, sending a pulse of heat through her body. She felt full. She felt alive.

Viktor patched them both up when the transfusion was done. He was correct—the IV was no longer needed. Caitlyn was immediately feeling much better, to the point where she was able to get out of bed and move around without issue. She was still visibly underweight, but Viktor assured her that it should be fixed over time. She would need to eat more than she felt she needed to in order to replenish her fat and muscle. Carbs and protein.

It wasn’t a complete recovery, but it was enough to get her back on her feet. Caitlyn was starting to feel like a person again.

“Like I said, make sure you eat three meals a day and stay moving. I suspect your body will rebuild itself quite fast, but it will need the necessary nutrients to do so.”

Caitlyn nodded as she stretched her arms and legs, flexed her toes, bent her neck from side to side, and twisted at the waist. Being chained to a wall unable to move while feeling her body waste away had been a nightmare. Finally being freed from bedrest was liberating.

Jinx rose from her seat and immediately stumbled.

“You should go get something to eat,” Viktor told her. “You may feel a little woozy for a bit.”

The blue-haired girl groaned and made for the door.

“I’ll come back to see you later, pup,” she said to Caitlyn. “Whenever you’re ready, Silco wants to talk to you.”

Caitlyn nodded, and a warmth spread through her chest at the sound of the familiar nickname. She blushed a little and turned away so that no one would see.

She was going to have to talk to Jinx about this eventually. First, though, she had to talk to her father.

Sevika had brought clothes for Caitlyn to change into. They were nothing fancy, and she was honestly glad. Simple shirt, simple pants, simple jacket. Dark, grungy colors. A typical undercity look.

That outfit is most unladylike.

They fit her a little loosely, but she hadn’t expected Sevika to know her exact size and bring her a tailored outfit. This would suffice. She tucked the shirt into her pants as best she could to give it a slimmer fit, then cinched the provided belt to keep her trousers in place.

Once dressed, Caitlyn looked at herself in the small, dirty mirror on the dresser. Her face was gaunt, making her look somewhat ill, but her complexion had returned to the pallid color it was immediately following Singed’s “life-saving” operation.

You look awful. Go put on more makeup.

With time, food, and a bit of exercise, she would be back to how she was before. If she could be thankful for one thing, it was how resilient the shimmer had made her. It was amazing to bounce back so fast after her body had been subjected to so much trauma.

Satisfied with her appearance, she stepped out into the hallway where Sevika was waiting for her.

“Silco’s expecting you,” she said.

“Of course.”

Silco’s office was on the top floor of The Last Drop. Caitlyn remembered the room from her first unplanned visit. Jinx, however, was not here. She even made sure to check the rafters, but there was no sign of the telltale blue braids anywhere. Jinx must be actually following Viktor’s advice and getting something to eat.

“Welcome, Miss Kiramman,” said Silco.

Caitlyn scowled at the sound of the housename.

“Don’t call me that. It’s not my name anymore.”

You are a Kiramman.

Silco raised his single eyebrow, fingers steepling in his lap.

“Oh? Mommy didn’t want you back?”

Not like this. Not unless you’re fixed.

“No, she definitely did. I’m the one throwing away the title.”

“How interesting. A rebellious little heir.”

As my daughter, you must be prepared to follow in my footsteps.

“Don’t call me that!” she snapped again, unable to control herself.

Silco actually jumped a little at her tone, but quickly steeled himself. With how fast he adjusted, he must have been used to similar outbursts from Jinx.

“Please remain calm… Caitlyn . Is that an acceptable way to refer to you?”

“That’s fine.”

Caitlyn stepped forward and took a seat in the chair in front of his desk. She leaned back and crossed her arms and legs, staring directly at the chembaron industrialist.

“Alright then. I won’t beat around the bush.” He leaned forward. “My daughter cares for you dearly. I lent her my men to break you out of the Council building. I would do anything for her—within reason. But it was a big favor, and you owe me for it.” He pointed at her. “Jinx wants you around, and I’ve been told you don’t plan on going back topside. Down here, we don’t let people sit around and take handouts. If you want something, you work for it.”

“You want me to work for you,” Caitlyn said simply.

His good eye narrowed. “I had a feeling you would figure that out. You’ve got a sharp eye, girl. I can put that to good use.”

Caitlyn’s stomach turned. Here she was, being offered employment by the very man she had once aspired to take down. Just over a month ago, she was working to put him in prison. Now, she was sitting in his office, having a somewhat amicable chat. Seriously considering his offer. She shifted in her seat, moving to grip the armrests of the chair.

“What would you have me do?”

Silco stared at her, and she couldn’t help but look into his infected eye.

“You would work with Jinx. Your primary responsibility would be guarding her while she does her work, but you would also assist when necessary.”

“And what does Jinx do?”

“You haven’t figured that out already?” he asked with a coy smile.

“I want to hear it from you. What do you call it when you send your daughter out to kill people for you?”

That wiped the smile off of his face.

“Jinx is, first and foremost, a cleaner. For bigger operations, I send her along as security.”

“A cleaner. So she cleans up your messes?”

“Jinx handles what needs to be handled, and she enjoys doing it. I wouldn’t ask her to do anything she didn’t want to do. It was her idea to start working for me.” Silco sat up straighter. “What we’re doing here, Caitlyn , is for the betterment of Zaun. If you didn’t before, I hope now you understand how little Piltover cares about us. The only ‘progress’ they support is what benefits them . The minute someone doesn’t fit into their idea of the world, they are cast aside without a second thought.”

Why must you always go against me? Do you understand how this makes me look?

Caitlyn hated how much she agreed with him. She hated how much a few weeks could change her entire perspective on the world. More than that, she hated how she had been so blindly ignorant for her entire life. She hated how she thought she could change things from the inside, how she thought what she had been doing was the “right” way to go about it.

“Thoughts, Caitlyn?”

She realized she had been staring at the floor, and her eyes shot upwards to meet his.

“I still don’t agree with all of your methods. There are things you’ve done that I find morally reprehensible. You talk about Piltover’s oppression, but I’ve seen you treat your own people just as poorly,” she said, watching his cool expression sour as she spoke. “But I care about Jinx, and I promised that I wouldn’t leave her. I already broke that promise once, and I won’t do it again. If this is what it takes to do that, then I’ll accept your offer.”

He tilted his head down, looking at her from under his brow.

“Glad we could come to an agreement.”

“Don’t think this means I’ll bend over backwards and lick your boots,” she growled. “I’m here for Jinx, not you.”

“All I ask is that you protect her. I assume you’d do that even if I didn’t ask,” he said, rolling his eyes. “To be honest, I had wanted to ask for more, but…” He twiddled his thumbs and sighed. “Jinx requested that I not treat you too harshly. And I won’t. I can recognize that what has been done to you is terrible, and there’s no need to rub salt in such a grievous wound. I don’t have to sit here and convert you into an anti-establishment extremist. Dr. Meved did that part for me.”

Caitlyn’s whole body tensed with anger, but she couldn’t let it out. Because Silco was right. He didn’t need to espouse his beliefs and outline all the terrible things Piltover had done in the name of “progress” that had made life miserable for the people of the undercity. She already knew, and the way she had been treated was the final straw. Logic and reason had failed her. People she had known her entire life had refused to believe her and treated her like an animal. All because they refused to take the time to understand what had happened.

Her anger with Silco warped in on itself, turning towards people like Marcus, like Jayce. People like her mother. The people who were supposed to listen to her and protect her, who had hurt her. Who had shot her.

For the first time in days, Caitlyn felt true, hot fury rising within her, that animalistic, all-consuming rage that she could feel in her bones. She trembled. The itch creeped under her skin, the buzzing filled her skull.

For the first time, it felt good. She felt alive.

This terrible feeling that had plagued her for the past month was now a welcome guest. It made her feel at home in her body, despite the discomfort it caused. The pain was almost pleasurable. She barely noticed the hint of fear that flashed across Silco’s face as she twitched in her seat.

In the midst of it all, she felt something new. A unique sensation, almost like a second heartbeat. Confusion and curiosity snapped Caitlyn out of her blooming rage and began to pull her somewhere else. Her head whipped around to look behind her, almost as if she expected something to be there, but there was no one else in the room. She tilted her head to the side, curious as to what this new feeling was.

Caitlyn looked at Silco.

“I trust we’re done here?” she said.

“Yes. You may go. Jinx will provide you with further details.”

He seemed eager to get her out of his office, and she was just as eager to leave.

Caitlyn rose from her seat and turned to follow the tugging feeling in her chest. It pulled her through the hall, down the stairs, out of the bar, and into the streets of Zaun. She ignored everyone around her, following this singular line with the steady thumping of her heartbeat. It was almost visible to her, weaving through the crowds. She picked up her pace, walking faster and faster, desperate to know what was doing this to her.

And when she found it, she froze in her tracks.

Just a few yards in front of her, Jinx was sitting at a street food stall, stuffing her face with some undercity street food. Though Caitlyn was nowhere near close enough for the girl to notice her, Jinx abruptly turned to look at her as soon as she was within her sight.

Pink eyes met pink eyes.

Caitlyn could feel their hearts beating in sync.

Chapter Text

Jinx looked just as surprised as Caitlyn.

“Well, that’s new,” she said as she wiped her hands. “Seems like that transfusion did more than just fix you up.”

“You feel it too?” Caitlyn asked, placing her hand on her chest.

“Yeah. To be honest, I thought I was like, having a panic attack or something, but then I just felt like you were here and… you were.” Jinx paused, staring at her curiously. Then, her expression shifted and she waved for Caitlyn to come join her. “Get over here. You need to eat.”

Caitlyn acquiesced without protest. She wasn’t hungry, and what the street food stand was serving didn’t look at all appetizing to her, but she wouldn’t go against Viktor’s orders. She wanted to recover from this as quickly as possible, even if it meant eating undercity “slop”, as she had referred to it when she was with Vi.

The memory of visiting Jericho with Vi flashed through her mind, and it was almost like she could see Vi standing beside the stall in front of her, slurping down slimy seafood of dubious origin. This stand, however, was run by a human man with a face full of chemtech, and not the jovial fishman vastaya from before. Jinx said something Caitlyn didn’t hear, and the man quickly threw together a bowl of food.

“Sit,” said Jinx, patting the stool beside her.

Caitlyn sat, and the bowl was passed to her. She recognized the popular Zaunite style calamari, marinated and seared on a grill. It was mixed in with chunks of some sort of vegetable that she couldn’t identify, as well as thin slices of fish cake. No utensils were provided. Jinx had been eating with her hands, and so was everyone else at the stand.

“What, still too high and mighty for undercity cuisine?” Jinx sneered.

“No, no. I’m just not that hungry,” she said, and then quickly added, “But I know I need to eat.”

She picked up one of the bits of calamari. It was wet with whatever sauce the whole meal had been drizzled with. Caitlyn had never been big on seafood, but she had also never eaten squid. She took a deep breath and popped the tentacle into her mouth. The immediate taste was somewhere between sweet and savory, which was likely the work of the sauce, or perhaps the marinade. The meat was tough and somewhat rubbery, but when she bit down, it divided cleanly between her teeth. The resistance in combination with the slippery texture made it almost crunchy. She didn’t dislike it.

Caitlyn ate slowly, as she couldn’t force herself to speed through the meal. Jinx watched in silence, occasionally turning her head to scope out the crowds wandering through the Lanes. Caitlyn looked too, observing peoples’ reactions to her new partner (if that was what she could call Jinx).

The people of the undercity either seemed to fear or detest Jinx, giving her a wide berth when they noticed her presence and often scowling at her as they passed. Caitlyn inferred that the work Silco had her doing didn’t exactly make Jinx into a beloved pillar of the community. Being associated with her wouldn’t bring any love to Caitlyn either—not that she wanted it. The only opinion she cared about anymore was Jinx’s.

“How’d your chat with Silco go?” Jinx asked.

“Fine,” said Caitlyn between bites. “I accepted his offer.”

Jinx actually seemed surprised by this, though Caitlyn wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t gotten so good at reading the younger girl’s expressions. Jinx’s face moved as quickly and unpredictably as her body. If you didn’t look closely, she would cycle through a dozen different microexpressions before you could even process what she was thinking. Thankfully, Caitlyn was operating on the same wavelength as her.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I don’t exactly have other options.”

“Hmm, true. Well, we won’t have any jobs for a while since you’re still in recovery. After the scene I made up top, Silco is planning on laying low for a while before we make our next move. Things are changing, big time.” Jinx grew a little shy. “Having you around will actually be a huge help.”

Caitlyn looked down at her food and quietly said, “Thanks.”

When Caitlyn’s bowl was mostly empty, Jinx reached into her pocket and slid a folded up scrap of paper across the counter. Caitlyn raised an eyebrow at her as she unfolded it. It was a clipping from The Piltover Herald.

What she held in her hands was, essentially, her own obituary.

COUNCIL UNDER SIEGE!!! LAUDED ACADEMY DOCTOR AND KIRAMMAN HEIR PERISH IN ACT OF TERRORISM

Caitlyn had wondered how her mother would cover things up, and she wasn’t even surprised that this was how it had played out. Killing her off was the easiest course of action. If Caitlyn was dead, she could no longer be a stain on the family’s reputation. Perfect and pristine, untouchable and incorruptible under a gravestone.

Do you enjoy making me clean up your messes for you? Grow up.

If anything, this was a weight off of Caitlyn’s shoulders. No one would be pursuing her. No one would be scouring the undercity to drag her back “home”. No one would be pumping her full of vile medicines or shooting her out of fear.

She was finally, truly free.

Is this what you wanted?

“Looks like they killed ya off,” said Jinx. “Memorial service is on Sunday, by the way.”

It would be a big, public spectacle. Cassandra loved a good spectacle.

“Good. A Kiramman no longer,” said Caitlyn.

She crumpled up the piece of paper in her fist and threw it over her shoulder, sending it off to be trampled under the feet of passers by.

You’ll regret this one day.

“I don’t think I will,” she muttered under her breath.

Jinx heard her, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she shifted the topic.

“If you’re all done, I’ve lined up a proper place for you to stay. My workshop isn’t exactly a five-star hotel, and I thought you’d appreciate a place with a real bed and legit plumbing.”

Caitlyn was surprised by this turn of events and a little disappointed. Some small part of her had been looking forward to going back to Jinx’s lair, to going back to that familiar, “safe” place where they had spent so much time together. She hid her disappointment, though, and let herself get excited about the idea of having an actual bathroom instead. Still, worry gnawed at the back of her mind—was Jinx going to leave her on her own? Had she fucked up so badly that she didn’t want to have Caitlyn in her space anymore?

Jinx grabbed Caitlyn by the wrist and led her through the streets, back towards the plaza where The Last Drop loomed over the Lanes. Catty corner to the bar was a not-so-terrible looking apartment building. Jinx brought her inside and Caitlyn was a bit shocked at how nice the interior was. It wasn’t that she didn’t think buildings in Zaun could be this nice, but she wasn’t expecting it from this one. It was nearly as high class as Babette’s—perhaps even finer. It was certainly not as old. Though the decor was vastly different, it rivaled some of the classiest buildings in Piltover.

Caitlyn was starting to understand what Silco was doing in the Lanes. If Piltover wasn’t going to improve conditions down here, he was going to find a way to do it himself. The people of the undercity deserved not just to survive, but to thrive. She remembered her conversation with Jinx about the differences between bathhouses above and below, who they were frequented by and their overall purpose.

Zaunites deserved to live comfortable lives and have the opportunity to enjoy the same luxuries that were commonplace among topsiders. Caitlyn might not agree with Silco’s methods, but she could certainly appreciate his goals.

Jinx pulled her over to the elevator, a marvel of shining brass and whirring machinery. She had to insert a key once they were inside, which popped open the cover on the “PENTHOUSE” button. Caitlyn’s eyes widened as the elevator rose, dinging as it passed each floor until it came to a stop at the top and the metal doors slid open.

Black marble floors led them into a small but luxurious living space, decorated with crushed red velvet furniture and accented by ostentatious gold trim. It almost reminded Caitlyn of the Kiramman manor, but there was a hint of hedonistic sensibility in the decor that shattered the resemblance. Her family’s taste had always been prim, proper, and appropriately sexless. Her mother also was never fond of luxury for luxury’s sake and avoided excess wherever possible. They were rich, but they weren’t wasteful.

This? This was wasteful. This was not old money. This was indulgence.

“Penthouse? Who did you kill to score this?” Caitlyn asked as they stepped inside.

Jinx seemed to stiffen a little as if Caitlyn had said something wrong, but she relaxed before she responded.

“This was the apartment Silco and I used to share when I was little. He moved out a few years ago to let me have the space to myself, but I was lonely on my own and I wound up staying in my workshop instead.”

“Where does he live now?”

“He has a private room in The Last Drop. He likes to stay close to the business.”

On the far side of the living space, there was a long glass window running across the entire room. It started at waist height and extended up, curving over into the ceiling, creating a little sunroom-esque viewing area. Of course, there was little sun in Zaun, but it did allow for a breathtaking view of the undercity’s hazy neon skyline, and it highlighted The Last Drop and the massive eye looking down on the people below.

To the right, there was a door that was covered from top to bottom in what could only be Jinx’s art. Bright pinks and blues, drawings of what seemed to be herself and Silco, as well as that familiar monkey face. To the left, was a dark mahogany door that was untouched by the chaos.

“Silco’s old room. Yours now. He moved all of his personal stuff out ages ago, so it’s mostly empty,” Jinx explained.

Caitlyn pushed the door open to inspect her new living quarters. As Jinx had said, the room was mostly empty. There was a four-poster bed against the far wall that was not unlike the one she had back home, though it was built from different materials, as well as a dresser and mirror.

“If there’s anything else you need furniture-wise, let me know,” said Jinx, poking her head in behind her. “Sevika told me I should take you to get new clothes tomorrow, so don’t worry about that.”

Caitlyn bit her lip as she spun around. It all felt far too nice, and she was undeserving of it. She had fled to Zaun to give up this kind of lavish comfort. She had expected to be sleeping on Jinx’s raggedy old couch, teetering on the edge of that industrial fan that she called home. Not put up in a penthouse surrounded by unearned opulence. She wanted to protest, to say that it was too much, but when she turned to look at Jinx she saw that the blue-haired girl was waiting patiently with an eagerness in her eyes, desperate to know that Caitlyn liked what she saw. Caitlyn held back the words she had planned on saying.

“It’s nice. Nicer than I expected,” she said instead. “More than I ever could have asked for.”

Jinx seemed relieved. “Good. I knew you’d have some hoity toity Piltie sensibilities, so I thought this place would be suitable.”

Caitlyn wanted to tell her that she didn’t need to worry about things like that anymore, but she didn’t want to disappoint her. She looked around the room again and noticed a package sitting on the bed.

“Is that…?”

“For you? Yep! Go on, check it out,” Jinx said, excitement evident in her voice.

Caitlyn walked over to the bed and began unwrapping the paper. It was a long, thin package, and she was starting to suspect what it might be.

Once more, her expectations were blown out of the water. In the box before her was the very same folding rifle that she had traded to get medicine for Vi. She lifted it, unfolded it, and checked it over to make sure it was still in working order. Her eyes lingered on the Kiramman crest embedded in the stock. She would have to see if Jinx could remove that.

“Where did you get this?” she asked, looking at Jinx.

“Sevika brought it in from collections. I recognized the symbol. Thought you might want it back. You’ll need a weapon for work anyways.”

Caitlyn didn’t know what to say. She turned the rifle over in her hands.

“And if you want anything else, let me know,” said Jinx, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I’m working on a pistol for you, actually. And I can make other stuff too. Or upgrade that.”

Caitlyn tilted the stock upwards and tapped on the crest. “I’d like that gone.”

“Easy.” Jinx snapped her fingers.

“And would it be possible to get some kind of workbench to put in here? So I can maintain my guns.”

“I mean, I could do that for you, but sure. I bet I have something sitting around the workshop that would fit in here.”

Caitlyn sat down on the bed, still holding the rifle.

“Jinx… This is too much. I don’t deserve all this. Especially not after…” Caitlyn trailed off, gripping the gun tighter.

Jinx frowned for a second before putting on her typical grin.

“Don’t feel too special, pup. None of this was set up for ya or anything. Just what we already had lying around. This was empty space. We’re just putting it to use.”

“We?”

“Uh, yeah. I’m gonna stay here with ya. We’re gonna be working together, after all, and pops told me he doesn’t want me sleeping in the workshop anymore. Something about a falling risk or whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “And I still gotta keep an eye on ya! You’re not exactly walking free. Especially not after your little stunt.”

That wiped away all of Caitlyn’s doubts. She felt undeserving of the space, sure, but she had been more worried that she would be separated from Jinx. She would give all this up and sleep in a cage in Jinx’s lair if it meant getting to spend more time with the girl. Caitlyn would stay wherever Jinx was staying. If that was here, she was fine with it. She would do whatever she needed to prove herself to her.

“There is only one bathroom, though,” said Jinx, poking a thumb over her shoulder. “So we’ll have to share. But there’s running water and all that good stuff.”

“I don’t mind. Something is better than nothing.”

Jinx shifted awkwardly again, leaning back and forth on her feet like she didn’t know whether she should stay or go.

“Well, uh… It’s late. You’re probably still a little tired. I’ll leave you alone for a while, and tomorrow we can go find some clothes. Sound good?”

Caitlyn so badly wanted to ask Jinx to stay, but she couldn’t find a good enough reason to keep her there. She just wanted to be as close to her as possible and for Jinx to hold her like she had before, but it wasn’t something she could have right now. There was still a rift between them that needed to be repaired. Things couldn’t go back to how they were before after one conversation.

“Sounds good,” Caitlyn said quietly as she folded the rifle and put it back into the box. “I’ll get some rest.”

“Right… Goodnight.”

Jinx left, closing the door behind her. Caitlyn laid down on the bed, sinking into the plush duvet. Her hand closed around her throat, doing what it could to imitate the feeling of leather around her neck.

X

When Caitlyn awoke in the morning, she found a new piece of furniture waiting for her in the living room. It was a metal workbench that had a gun rack welded to the top of it. She was stunned that Jinx had managed to fulfill her one request overnight.

Only moments later, the painted door across the room opened, and out stepped Jinx herself. She was wearing an oversized button-up shirt and a pair of shorts that looked to have been cut from a pair of men’s pants. It was the first time Caitlyn had seen her in anything other than her typical halter top and striped pants, and, for some reason, it had her quite flustered. Perhaps it was in the way the far-too-large shirt hung off of Jinx’s tiny frame, threatening to expose the bare skin underneath. Caitlyn had seen the girl naked before (and she would never forget the sight), but somehow this outfit felt far more intimate.

Caitlyn herself was still wearing the shirt and pants from the day before, as she had no sleepwear to change into.

“G’mornin’ pup,” said Jinx, rubbing her eyes. “Man, I haven’t slept like that in a while!”

“You did this last night?” Caitlyn asked, gesturing towards the bench.

“Yeah, I went out after you went to bed and hauled it up here. Does it look alright?”

Caitlyn looked over the table and smiled. “Yes, it’s perfect.”

“Here, let’s move it into your room.”

She and Jinx took up positions on opposite sides of the workbench. It wasn’t that heavy, but they lifted it together and walked it across the living room. As Caitlyn shuffled backwards, she saw the collar of Jinx’s oversized shirt slipping down her shoulder. It hung dangerously close to falling off, and Caitlyn was still staring at her when it finally did drop, exposing her the blue cloud tattoos that covered her right side. Jinx hadn’t done up the buttons very far, so it fell down to a point that exposed her right breast. Caitlyn blushed and looked away, directing her gaze over her shoulder as she backed up into the bedroom.

Jinx didn’t seem embarrassed in the slightest. She didn’t even react to the fallen shirt, instead staying focused on carrying the workbench. Caitlyn led them over against a wall on the empty side of the room and lowered it to the ground. Jinx followed suit. When she finally reached up to adjust her shirt, she did so more out of a desire for lost warmth than to cover herself. Caitlyn was getting the sense that Jinx didn’t mind showing a little skin, but she couldn’t decide if it was a general thing or if it was just around her. She figured it must be the former, as there was no way she was that special to Jinx.

Caitlyn was convinced her ridiculous feelings were largely one-sided, even if Jinx had reciprocated some of their past contact. She wasn’t even able to put a name on her own feelings. There was attraction, for sure, but there was something else unnameable that drove her to act in ways she never had before. Caitlyn had crushes in the past. It was obvious to her that she had a crush on Vi, though those feelings had grown more complex as of late.

This didn’t feel like a crush. Caitlyn wasn’t pining after Jinx like a lovesick schoolgirl. It was something deeper, something instinctual. A connection, an attachment, now made manifest by their shared blood. They were the same. Inextricably bound.

And yet, it was more than that. There was the embarrassing bit beneath it all that Caitlyn tried her best to ignore but couldn’t. The thing that made her wrap her hand around her neck, mourning its nakedness. If Jinx had been trying to do something to her when she collared and leashed her, it had worked. Something had been sleeping inside Caitlyn, an animal that craved tender affection, that wanted to be held and pet and cared for, that wanted to protect and defend and claim things for itself. Jinx had awoken it, and, no matter how hard she tried, Caitlyn couldn’t put it back to sleep.

No one had ever cared for Caitlyn like Jinx had, and Caitlyn had never wanted to care for anyone like she did for Jinx. Maybe she could have ignored it before, but now, after all that had happened to her? After Jinx had pulled her out of hell itself and given her own blood to keep her alive? Jinx could have utterly despised her after she left and decided never to forgive her, but Caitlyn would still want to follow her to the ends of the earth. If Jinx wanted her dead, she would die.

But she didn’t. Jinx wanted to fix things, and Caitlyn would do everything in her power to make that happen.

“Still in there, pup?” Jinx asked, snapping her fingers in front of Caitlyn’s face.

Caitlyn blinked a few times. She didn’t realize she had zoned out.

“Uh, yes. Sorry.”

“I’m gonna go get dressed, then we can head out. Get you some breakfast, then some more clothes to wear.”

“Right. I’ll get ready.”

Jinx left her room, padding silently across the marble floors. Caitlyn watched her go, eyes lingering even after she closed the painted door behind her. Then, she turned, walked back to her bed, and fell down on it, burying her face in the covers.

“Gods, what the fuck is wrong with me?”

Everything.

“I didn’t ask for your opinion,” she hissed.

I’m simply being honest with you, dear.

Caitlyn screwed her eyes shut. She was starting to have trouble discerning when her mother’s voice was repeating things from the past and when it was coming up with new bullshit to spew at her. Had Cassandra ever said that to her? She had no idea. She didn’t want to remember. She gripped the sheets, balling them up in her fist and growling into the fabric. She was frustrated—mostly with herself. That didn’t stop her feelings from getting the better of her, didn’t stop the sharp pricks from crawling up her arms, her spine, like a dozen little knives stabbing her from the inside.

Caitlyn forced herself to get up and put on her shoes, moving through the pains. What was once debilitating was now somewhat bearable. She had welcomed the sensations when they returned the day before, but that didn’t mean she was entirely happy to have them back. She just kept reminding herself how bad the detoxicant felt, and that made the paresthesia feel like nothing in comparison. But she still couldn’t stop herself from rolling up her sleeves and scratching at her forearms, or shoving her hand past her waistband and down the leg of her pants to itch a particularly annoying spot on her thigh. None of it actually helped, but she couldn’t control the compulsions.

All of it felt worse when Jinx caught her with her arm in her pants.

“Y’know, that’s not how you’re supposed to touch yourself,” Jinx said with a smirk as she leaned against the doorframe.

“Fuck you,” Caitlyn groaned, removing her arm from her pants leg and tightening her belt.

She stood up, scratching her arm as she walked over to Jinx, who was still smirking at her but, but there was clear concern in her eyes.

“It’s not that bad,” said Caitlyn, answering an unasked question.

“What triggered it?”

“Nothing,” she responded a little too sharply, shooting a glare at the younger girl.

Jinx’s hurt expression immediately made her regret doing so, but she didn’t want to talk about why she was feeling like this, so she shoved her hands in her pockets and walked towards the elevator. The prickles didn’t go away, but she did her best to keep her hands off of herself.

For the first time, Caitlyn walked through the undercity unconcealed and unafraid. No longer did she feel like a Piltovan fish out of water. Of course, she hadn’t entirely adjusted to Zaun yet, but she was starting to feel like this was where she belonged. A misfit finally finding her proper place in the world.

Jinx took her to another street food stand for breakfast, this one serving fried sweets. Before Caitlyn could even ask what the food was, Jinx had shoved one into her hand and tossed a few cogs to the cook in payment. Caitlyn was tugged along, forced to eat as they walked. Her breakfast, as it turned out, was a sort of filled waffle dusted with powdered sugar. When she bit into it, fruit filling oozed out. It was pleasant, if not a little too sugary.

No conversation took place while they walked. Caitlyn had her mouth full, but Jinx was uncharacteristically silent the entire time. Perhaps her curt behavior in the apartment had pissed her off, and she was giving her the cold shoulder. Caitlyn did her best to occupy herself in the silence, observing their surroundings as they weaved through the streets of Zaun.

Caitlyn had gotten a decent tour of the city when she had first come down with Vi, but she had been so single-minded in her goals that she hadn’t paid much attention to the environment. After the bridge, she had mostly been confined to the area of the Lanes where the brothel was, and then tucked away inside Jinx’s underground hideout. She hadn’t really gotten a chance to look closely at the undercity and learn its streets like she had learned Piltover’s.

The many neighborhoods of Zaun were crammed up against each other and often ran more vertically than horizontally due to the lack of space. The city was rife with catwalks, ladders, stairs, and elevators to facilitate upward and downward movement. Where no such structures existed, people had jerry-rigged their own—many of which did not look safe in the slightest. And, as Vi had explained, just as many people ignored the laid out paths and took to the rooftops, parkouring across Zaun’s towering buildings to get to their destinations.

Some clusters of buildings had clearly been revitalized in recent years, while others were in horrid states of disrepair. Regardless of their status, most structures used whatever was available to keep themselves standing, creating a mismatched style of architecture that meant no two buildings looked the same. There was also the matter of the chembarons and their gangs, who were not at all shy about marking their territory with their corresponding symbols. The area Jinx was leading Caitlyn through was covered in Silco’s eyes, but she saw signs of others cropping up in smaller doses.

It appeared that Silco kept the Lanes in good shape. At least, as good as was possible in a city borne from a mining slum. Caitlyn was impressed, but she knew from experience that there were far darker corners of Zaun that had gotten the shit end of the stick. The encampment full of shimmer addicts came to mind. She had been thinking of them more often as of late.

Not long after Caitlyn finished her food did Jinx make an abrupt right turn into a shop. Caitlyn searched for a trash can to throw away the paper from her breakfast and, finding no such receptacle, balled it up and shoved it in the pocket of her jacket. She would have to talk to Silco about the city’s waste management.

A bell dinged overhead as Jinx pushed the door open, leading Caitlyn into a boutique that smelled strongly of leather. While the undercity was a tapestry of different styles and cultures, it did have a distinct sense of fashion that was at odds with Piltovan sensibilities. In addition to its more avant-garde style, Zaunite clothes were much like its buildings, as they were often patched together and repurposed from existing garments.

Jinx had brought Caitlyn to a boutique that appeared to be catering to the demographic of mercenaries and henchmen, as it was filled with dark, sturdy clothing that was fashionably functional.

“This your style?” Jinx asked, gesturing towards the racks of clothes. “I typically like bolder looks, but I felt like you’d appreciate something a little more under the radar.”

“This is fine,” said Caitlyn, running her fingers across the sleeve of a leather jacket. “Do you have a budget for me?”

Jinx laughed and nodded her head towards the checkout counter, where a neon eye was hanging on the wall over the cashier’s head. “We’re not paying for anything.”

“Right. Of course.”

Caitlyn resolved to get herself a week’s worth of clothes—four pairs of pants and seven shirts—as that seemed like a good way to start her new wardrobe. She also picked out two more pairs of boots and a few pieces of outerwear. As she started to go through her mental checklist, Jinx mentioned that there was another place where she could get socks and underwear.

The cashier recognized Jinx, who instructed him to have the clothing delivered to the apartment building so that they wouldn’t have to carry it back. While this was happening, Caitlyn continued to browse the racks. A particular leather coat caught her eye. It was long, reaching just above her knees, and had a high collar and an embossed design featuring a crow across the upper back. She slipped it off the hanger and tried it on. It fit perfectly and allowed her a full range of movement. She gripped the lapels and pulled it snug around her torso.

“Lookin’ sharp, pup.”

Caitlyn jumped at the sound of Jinx’s voice, unaware that she was being watched. She turned around to face the mirror on the wall and observed herself. The coat didn’t really match the borrowed clothes underneath, but it would go well with the ones she had just chosen for herself.

“Indeed,” she said, tilting her head from side to side and twisting around to view herself at all angles. “I’ll take this too.”

“Would you like it delivered?” the cashier asked.

“No, I’ll wear it.”

Caitlyn was used to wearing a uniform. The same clothes every day, showing the world who she was and what she did. No one was providing her with a uniform now, so she had to make her own. A nice coat would be a good start. That Jinx seemed to like how it looked was a fortunate bonus.

Socks and underwear were purchased at another shop, and Jinx was determined to make Caitlyn eat another meal, so they were working their way back towards the street lined with food stalls. However, on the way, they passed by a gunsmith’s shop, and Caitlyn was drawn in by the smell of gunpowder and oil.

“If you want guns, I can make anything you can dream up,” Jinx said defensively as Caitlyn headed towards the shop.

“I know, I just want to look,” she said, pushing the door open.

There weren’t a lot of guns in Zaun. No one was manufacturing them en masse, and they weren’t exactly easy to acquire from outside the city. Piltover made sure that weapons deals were strictly monitored and regulated. If you had a gun in Zaun, it was either illegal or built by someone who lived there, in which case it was probably incredibly expensive. This was confirmed for Caitlyn when she saw the price tags on some of the pistols in the display case under the counter.

“Looking for anything in partic—ah, Jinx. This a friend of yours?”

The man behind the counter was a yordle, and Caitlyn could not discern what color his fur was due to the fact that most of him was black with gunpowder and grease.

“Drezz,” said Jinx rather rudely. “Who this is is none of your business.”

Caitlyn side-eyed her and then returned her attention to the yordle proprietor.

“Caitlyn,” she said, bowing her head to him.

“Welcome, Caitlyn! Name’s Drezz. Are you looking for anything?”

She scanned the store. Most of the weapons were locked up tight, and none of them were of interest to her. Jinx had gotten her rifle back, and she had offered to provide Caitlyn with whatever she needed. She wouldn’t disrespect that offer by going out of her way to purchase something from someone else—especially at these prices.

“Shooting gloves,” she said, wiggling her fingers.

There had been gloves at the boutique, but none of them fit the way she wanted them to. If there was one thing she really missed about her enforcer uniform, it was the gloves. They were tailor-made for her, and they were just the right thickness for her to feel the gun through the fabric.

“Ah, of course! Right this way.” Drezz hopped onto the counter and walked around to the other side of the store, gesturing towards a shelf where several pairs of gloves were on display. “Feel free to try them on if you’d like.”

And she did. Caitlyn went through each pair, pulling them on and flexing her fingers. She tried several, and none fit like she wanted them to. Jinx watched, scoffing as each pair was discarded.

“I could make you something better than that, you know,” she grumbled.

Caitlyn ignored her. She thumbed through the pairs, looking for anything that seemed like it would be the right fit. Finally, she found a pair that seemed promising.

They were short, leather gloves that fit, well, like a glove. On the right hand, her trigger fingers were exposed so she could get a better feel, but the gloves themselves would provide a strong grip.

Caitlyn eyed a rifle in the case behind Drezz.

“Do you mind?” she asked, pointing at it. “Just to test.”

“Of course, of course.”

He unlocked the cabinet and handed her the rifle after he was sure it was unloaded. It wasn’t the same size or shape as she was used to, but the overall feel of the gun was familiar to her. She gripped it tight, pressed the stock against her shoulder, and looked down the sight. Her fingers curled around the trigger. She didn’t pull it, but she imagined firing it.

It had been so long since she’d fired a gun.

Caitlyn lowered the rifle and handed it back to Drezz, who placed it back in its home in the display case.

“I’ll take these,” she said, flexing her fingers again, enjoying the creaking of the new leather.

Drezz eyed Jinx. “You’re paying, I assume?”

Jinx scowled, but she reached into the pouch around her belt. “How much?”

Hexes were exchanged, and Caitlyn left the gunsmith’s shop with a new pep in her step, pleased with her purchase. Jinx was staring at her as they walked back to the food stalls.

“Something on my face?” Caitlyn asked sarcastically.

“No, you, uh…” Jinx seemed flustered. “You look good. At least, the coat and the gloves are nice.”

Caitlyn smiled and popped the collar of her new coat.

“Thank you,” she said. “Anything else on the docket for today?”

“Food for you, and a checkup with your sickly little friend.”

It made sense that Viktor would want to keep an eye on her. Caitlyn was feeling so much better, but she was still a little underweight.

Jinx treated her to lunch but, once more, ate nothing herself. Caitlyn didn’t really feel like eating, but it was necessary.

Despite her earlier compliment, Jinx still seemed disgruntled. Caitlyn felt as though it had something to do with the gunsmith, but she couldn’t figure out what the problem was. She was already worried about having upset Jinx with her past actions, and she didn’t want to do anything to worsen their healing relationship.

“Is something wrong?” she asked as she finished her meal.

“Hm? No. Nothing.”

Caitlyn frowned. “Yes there is. You’re acting… weird.”

Jinx hopped off the stool and narrowed her eyes at Caitlyn before turning and walking away towards The Last Drop. Caitlyn hurried after her, grabbing her arm to stop her. Jinx ripped it away and made a hard left into a small alleyway.

“What the hell is your problem?” Caitlyn called after her.

“You didn’t need to go in that idiot’s store! He doesn’t know jack shit about guns anyways,” Jinx snapped.

Caitlyn had been following her closely, but Jinx turned around to shout at her, and it caused her to back up a few feet. Jinx pursued her now, getting up in her face.

“You don’t need to pay for shit! I can get you whatever you need, and if I can’t find it somewhere else, I can make it!” Jinx jabbed her thumb in her chest. “Whatever you want, whatever you need—I can get it for you.”

Caitlyn was taken aback. They had been out shopping. She never would have interpreted going into an extra store as some sort of act against Jinx’s hospitality. When she stopped to think about it, though, the picture became clearer. Everywhere else they went, Jinx had taken them. They weren’t asked to pay because the businesses were under Silco’s protection. And Jinx had expressed her distaste with Drezz. Caitlyn had ignored it all, chalking it up to Jinx’s usual antics.

“You didn’t want me to go in the store,” she said, putting the pieces together.

“No shit!”

“Why didn’t you just say so?”

Jinx stared at her, dumbfounded. “I tried to? What did you want me to do, grab you by the collar and pull you away?”

Caitlyn hand instinctively went to her bare neck and her face flushed at the image that was conjured in her mind.

“No! Just… say what you mean!”

Jinx stared up at her, lips still downturned, irritation still wrinkling her brow.

“Whatever you want, whatever you need. I can get it for you,” Jinx repeated. Then, she sighed and let the tension and anger fall out of her posture. “I… You left me, and I should still be pissed, but instead, I just want to do everything I can to make sure you stay this time. I’m the one giving you the second chance, but it feels like it’s the other way around.”

“Jinx, I’m not going to leave again. I apologize if I made you feel like I would.” Caitlyn stepped closer. She wanted to grab the girl’s hand, but she didn’t, unsure if it was appropriate. “If I left, where would I even go? There’s no one else who would take me.”

“You could go back to the brothel. Or my sister,” Jinx said, eyes downturned as she spoke of Vi.

Caitlyn hadn’t even considered that. Even when she was locked up in Piltover on her deathbed, Vi had rarely come to mind.

The mention of Vi made something in her chest twist in a painful manner. She winced as memories of their time together crossed her mind. Vi was charming and easy to love. Caitlyn had certainly fallen for her. In another world, she might have been with her.

But not in this one. Caitlyn could no longer conceive of it. She didn’t trust herself with Vi, and she didn’t trust Vi anymore either. Not after their last encounter in the brothel. Caitlyn recalled how she had run up on them, how she had been armed, how she had dared to insinuate that Jinx would do anything to harm her. How she didn’t even call Jinx by her name. She couldn’t even be sure that Vi had nothing to do with Jayce and the enforcers showing up. Someone had lied about something, otherwise she wouldn’t have been there at that exact moment.

If all that wasn’t enough, Caitlyn looked down at Jinx—at this girl who was terrified of people leaving her behind—and knew that it was Vi’s fault. She didn’t know all the details, but there was no other explanation for how Jinx reacted to the mere mention of her sister.

“No. You’re the only person I still trust,” said Caitlyn.

“Why? This is all my fault. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here. None of this would have happened to you!”

“You didn’t do this to me!”

“You don’t know what I was going to do to you!” Jinx screamed, and she stumbled backwards. There were tears in her eyes.

“You didn’t do anything to me,” Caitlyn said, stepping closer.

Jinx backed up, shaking her head. She looked everywhere but at Caitlyn, staring off at things that were invisible to the older girl.

“No, no. No! I was going to… I was going to hurt you. You took Vi from me, and I saw you there, and she was going with you ! And I was going to hunt you down, and hurt you, and—”

“Jinx!”

Caitlyn grabbed the girl by the wrists, holding them up above her head. She had started to scratch at her face, and her nails were so long that Caitlyn feared she would draw blood if she pressed too hard. Jinx stared up at her, eyes wide with fear and guilt. A single tear slipped from her eye.

“You should hate me, and I should hate you,” Jinx whispered. “But you don’t, and I don’t, and it scares me. I don’t think you should be around me but I don’t want you to leave.”

Caitlyn searched for her words but found nothing. There was nothing she could say that would feel right. Her strange affection for Jinx was compelling her to spew all kinds of nonsense that wouldn’t help the situation. Caitlyn wasn’t ready to confront her feelings yet, and Jinx clearly didn’t understand her own.

Caitlyn closed her eyes and leaned down, pressing her forehead against Jinx’s. In the darkness behind her eyelids, she swore she could see Jinx’s heart beating, thumping along in time with hers. She opened her eyes and let go of Jinx’s wrists to press a palm against her chest. It felt like her pulse was pumping through Caitlyn’s arm into her own body.

“Even if I did leave, you’d be able to find me,” she said. “We’re tied together even tighter than we were before. You can feel it, can’t you?”

Jinx nodded slowly.

“It’s… weird.”

“It means you can’t get rid of me.”

Caitlyn pulled her hand away and stepped back, putting some distance between them. She liked being close to Jinx, liked to touch her, but it sometimes felt like it was too much, and she was never sure how the other girl felt about it. Once again, her hand went to her throat.

“You keep doing that,” said Jinx.

“Doing what?”

“Touching your neck. Is something wrong?”

“No, no. It’s just…” Caitlyn turned around and shoved her hands in her coat pockets. “We should go see Viktor.”

“Right. Checkup time.”

Caitlyn waited for Jinx to take the lead, and she heeled behind her.

Whatever Caitlyn wanted, Jinx would provide—but there was no way she could bring herself to ask the girl to give her another collar.

Chapter Text

Caitlyn hadn’t realized how naked she had felt for the past few weeks until she had a gun in her hands again.

Jinx had taken her rifle and made some tweaks. She had crafted a detachable scope for it and even put together a silencer, insisting that she might need it for future jobs. Caitlyn let herself ponder what Silco would have them doing down the line, but she quickly dismissed the thought. She wouldn’t be doing anything for Silco. She would be protecting Jinx.

The Kiramman crest had also been removed from the rifle stock. It had been embedded in the wood, so Jinx had dug it out and sanded it down. Of course, that threw off the weight and shape of the gun, so she had used something to pad it out, then covered the stock in leather and even included a few holsters for extra bullets. The stitching was immaculate—Caitlyn wanted to tell Jinx that she should be the one running a gunsmithy, not Drezz. She kept that thought to herself, though, not wanting to reignite the argument from the day before.

There was one final touch Jinx had added to the rifle that Caitlyn adored. Previously, she had carried it in a bag on her back, and it had to be stowed away in a manner that made it slow to draw. Jinx had crafted a leather strap with a buckle over the chest that clipped onto the rifle. When she first brought it back from the workshop, she demonstrated how it worked.

The rifle was folded up, and the strap placed across Jinx’s chest. She unclipped the buckle and pulled down on the top half of the strap, slinging the rifle up and over her shoulder. The strap was attached to the butt of the rifle, and the force with which she tugged on it caused the gun to unfold neatly into her hands as it passed over her shoulder.

“Jinx, this is amazing!”

Caitlyn immediately folded the rifle and tried on the strap, mimicking Jinx’s actions and marveling at how quickly she was able to draw the gun from her back. Jinx looked proud of her work, but there was something in her smile that told Caitlyn she was happier about her liking it than the function itself.

“Wanna go test it out?” Jinx asked, smirking as she watched Caitlyn admire her handiwork.

“Absolutely! Is there a range down here?”

Jinx shrugged. “I’ve made a couple of my own. For that—” She motioned towards the rifle. “—we’ll need to head down a bit deeper, out of the Lanes. I’ve got something more suitable for long-range target practice there.”

“Do you ever use rifles?”

“No, not my style. But I practice with my pistol sometimes, and Pow-Pow can hit pretty far if I aim well enough.”

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow. “Pow-Pow?”

Jinx mirrored her expression. “Do you not name your guns?”

She looked down at the rifle in her hands, turning it over and inspecting the various mechanisms. Caitlyn had used many guns over the years, and she had never considered naming any of them. Not even this one, that had been her rifle since she was big enough to use it.

“No, not really. They’re just tools.”

Jinx scoffed. “Just tools? You don’t even believe that.” She reached down and grabbed the barrel of the rifle, lifting it and pressing the muzzle against her chest. “This gun is an extension of yourself. It’s part of you.”

Caitlyn stared at her, so boldly pointing the weapon at herself. It was empty, but it was still an intense gesture.

Yet there was something left unsaid. The fact that Caitlyn had given up this part of herself in exchange for medicine for Vi. Traded one of her limbs for a bottle of shimmer. Ironic.

She tried not to think about Vi too much. After all, the gun had found her way back into her hands regardless.

“I’ll think about it,” said Caitlyn, lowering the gun and folding it up. “Is Pow-Pow your gatling gun?”

“Yep! And this is Zapper,” she said, jutting out her hip to refer to the pistol holstered there.

“Does it use electricity?”

“Well… Not yet. I haven’t figured that out. But I want it to!” Jinx drew the gun and spun it around her finger. “I’ve already made one hextech gun, so I think scaling it down would be pretty easy—”

“You made a hextech gun ?” Caitlyn asked, shocked and terrified.

“Oh, yeah. Did I not tell you about that? His name is Fishbones.” She smiled dreamily.

“You did not! Jinx, that’s—that’s beyond dangerous! The damage you could cause with something like that…”

“That’s the point! At least, that’s Silcos’ point. He doesn’t want me to use it. It’s just a threat.”

Caitlyn frowned. The fact that it existed at all was worrying. She was quickly losing her sympathy for topsiders, but she didn’t wish death on all of them. A hextech gun sounded like a nightmare. The exact opposite of what Jayce and Viktor had intended for the technology. Pure destruction.

“What kind of gun is it?”

A devilish grin spread across the younger girl’s face.

“It’s a rocket launcher.”

Caitlyn balked at her. The idea of a rocket launcher was already extreme, but one powered by hextech? It was overkill.

“Bloody hell, Jinx, what—!? What would it even do?”

Jinx was not registering her discomfort. She grinned and rubbed her hands together.

“So, primarily, the hextech just powers the propellant system. I’m sure you understand ballistics and bullet drop and all that.”

Caitlyn nodded. “You have to account for gravity when firing long distances. The further a bullet flies, the more it will drop.”

“Right! So with Fishbones, the hextech creates the propellant and then continues to push the projectile as it flies. I used a precision rune, so the rocket will fly in a perfect straight line until it hits its target. No drop off. It doesn’t matter how heavy the payload is either.”

Jinx continued to ramble, talking about rune combinations and engineering nonsense that went way over Caitlyn’s head. She was simultaneously impressed and terrified and very sure that the Council had no idea that there was a Zaunite prodigy lurking in the depths who had built a hextech weapon of mass destruction out of nothing but scrap and Jayce’s notes. Sure, Caitlyn’s dislike for Piltover was growing every day, but she didn’t want to blow up the entire city.

Caitlyn grabbed Jinx by the shoulders, startling her out of her overcomplicated explanation.

“Jinx. Please. I don’t care what Silco says. You can never use that weapon. It would be devastating.”

Jinx stared up at her, confusion and concern in her wide eyes. She didn’t look like she understood Caitlyn’s fear, but she also didn’t seem like she wanted to upset her.

“I… Don’t worry. As much fun as it would be, I don’t think Silco wants it to be used either. It’s just a threat. He was pretty clear on that,” she said, trying to assuage her.

Caitlyn let out a sigh of relief and her hands fell back to her side. The fact that Fishbones existed at all was terrifying, but she didn’t think Jinx would lie to her, and she also believed that Silco wasn’t truly intending on using it. If he started a hextech war, topside would surely win. Jinx couldn’t arm the entirety of Zaun, but Jayce could easily do that for Piltover.

Caitlyn unintentionally began drawing more connections, her mind shifting into detective mode. Chemtech was supposed to be Zaun’s answer to hextech, but Silco had his daughter stealing Piltovan secrets and using them instead of developing his own technology. Was he giving up on shimmer? It didn’t make sense. She wanted to probe Jinx for answers, but the air between them was already tense. She let it go. If she stuck around, she would surely figure it out.

“Let’s go to that shooting range of yours,” she said instead, flashing a smile at the younger girl.

The range was quite a ways outside of the city proper, and the path they took almost led down into the area that Caitlyn knew was referred to as the “Sump”. The area they were passing through was close to the encampment of shimmer addicts. Memories flooded her mind against her will. Of her, of Vi, of her trading the very gun that had now been returned to her for medicine. Of Singed, of the surgery. Of Jayce and the Piltovan doctors that had nearly killed her.

Caitlyn was nearing a full recovery. Viktor had evaluated her early that morning and congratulated her on bouncing back so quickly. He had advised her to keep eating regularly for a few more weeks—shimmer did strange things to the metabolism that were keeping her from putting on as much weight as she needed to. He also advised her to get a lot of protein and do some light exercise to rebuild muscle. She had been doing some bodyweight exercises in the apartment—pushups, situps, squats. She had asked Jinx if she could get her a pullup bar and some weights. A good marksman had to have strong arms and a sturdy back to handle their gun with precision. In addition to that, she felt it would be useful to practice more hand to hand combat, as Zaun was a city of tight spaces and close encounters. She could only rely on the strength the shimmer granted her to a certain extent.

The range was in a desolate ravine devoid of human activity. There were probably some underground vermin crawling around, but there was hardly even any plant life to speak of. Jinx had set up a serviceable amount of targets, mostly made out of wood and steel rods. The targets were cut and painted to look like people, and they were riddled with bullet holes. The range was also littered with broken glass bottles and dented cans that had clearly been lined up and shot down.

“Not bad,” said Caitlyn, scanning the area.

“I used to have one of those target launcher things, but I had to take it apart to repair something else. Maybe I’ll rebuild it…”

“This is enough. Reminds me of some places I used to go as a child. Just less… nice?”

Jinx huffed. “Sorry it’s not living up to your high society standards, toots.”

“I’m not complaining, just making an observation.”

Jinx recklessly drew her pistol and fired a shot down range. A loud CLANG echoed through the ravine. Caitlyn started at the sound, not afraid of the gunfire, but of the complete lack of gun safety.

“Please don’t do that.”

“Ugh, fiiiiine.”

She holstered the pistol. Caitlyn unclipped the buckle and practiced slinging the rifle over her shoulder to unfold it. The movement felt so natural and so good that she wondered how Jinx had come up with the idea for it.

She took a moment to inspect the gun to make sure everything was in working order before she reached into a pouch on her hip to load it. Jinx eyed her as she did this, kicking her feet in the dirt.

“You really shouldn’t walk around with an unloaded gun. Not here,” she said, nodding towards the rifle.

Caitlyn wanted to protest, but Jinx was right. She nodded quietly and continued to load the gun. As she did this, she cut a flew glances at Jinx, who was inspecting her own firearm. Jinx often behaved carelessly with weapons and didn’t follow many of the rules that had been drilled into her as a child, so it was interesting to see her treating a gun with such care. It shouldn’t have surprised Caitlyn. After all, the girl was building and maintaining her own weapons, and she seemed to be a decent shot. No matter how she handled them, she knew her way around guns. Intimately, in ways that even Caitlyn wouldn’t understand.

Caitlyn stepped up to the range and raised her rifle. The butt slotted comfortably into her shoulder like the touch of an old friend she hadn’t seen in quite some time. Firing a gun like this was as natural to her as breathing. She relished in the familiar feeling, gripping the gun tightly and mentally thanking Jinx for returning it to her.

She lined up her shot, aiming for one of the middle distance targets, and fired. CLANG! A clean hit, dead center.

“Nice,” said Jinx, once again spinning her pistol around her finger. “That the best you can do?”

“Absolutely not,” Caitlyn snapped defensively.

Before Jinx could make another snide remark, Caitlyn took aim and struck a much further target.

“Alright, alright. I won’t tease anymore.”

Jinx stepped down the range, standing at a safe distance from Caitlyn, and took up a proper pistol firing stance. It was the first time Caitlyn had ever seen her stand like that, arms extended, both hands on the grip. She tilted her head to one side and then fired several shots in quick succession. They thudded against a wooden, man-shaped target, putting holes in his chest, stomach, head, and both shoulders. Jinx spun the gun around her finger and blew on the barrel.

“You prefer pistols?” Caitlyn asked.

“I’m most accurate with them. Not that you really need to be accurate with a minigun.”

That was true. Wielding a machine like Pow-Pow took more raw strength than anything. Caitlyn couldn’t imagine what the recoil was like, or how you were meant to stabilize yourself when you were firing something that big from your hip. Caitlyn remembered seeing the gun in action during their first encounter with Vi, and she was amazed that Jinx was able to effectively use a weapon that was basically the same size as her.

“I learned how to handle pistols in the academy. They’re standard issue service weapons, but I grew up with rifles.”

“Great for cover fire. You can hang back, keep an eye for anyone who tries to get the jump on me.”

Jinx was smiling, but Caitlyn frowned.

“Do you normally wind up on the front lines?”

The blue-haired girl rolled her eyes.

“There’s not really ‘front lines’ down here, pup. And it depends. Sometimes I’m backup, though I seem to fuck that up more often than not.” She tilted her head towards Caitlyn. “You saw what I got up to at the hexgates. No, usually I’m up front. The fear factor.”

Jinx made a snarling face and raised her hands as if they were claws, imitating some kind of monster. Caitlyn still continued to frown.

“People are scared of you.”

It was an observation, not a question. A fact that Caitlyn had gleaned from spending so much time around Jinx and seeing how people responded to her presence. They shied away from her and gave her dirty looks. People didn’t want to touch her or even be near her.

Jinx forced a smile as she said, “People are scared of you, too.”

Memories of Jayce and her parents bubbled up to the surface. Things she was trying not to linger on. The fear in their eyes, the way they had shied away from her. The gun.

Caitlyn hadn’t realized she had gone somewhere else until she was brought back by the feeling of Jinx’s fingers against her jaw.

“Hey, it’s alright,” she said, gently tracing the line of her jaw before softly dragging her fingertips under her chin.

Caitlyn leaned into it, pressing her chin down in a motion that asked for more. Jinx smiled and began to scratch her chin. She hummed in approval.

“Fear can be a useful tool,” Jinx explained as she continued to touch her. “Another weapon in your arsenal. You can learn to use people’s fears against them.”

Caitlyn made a soft noise of agreement without thinking about what she was agreeing to. It made sense, though.

Our name commands respect just as much as it inspires fear. People will try to use you, but you must remind them who you are and where you come from. Always remember that it is better to be feared than it is to be adored. Fear comes with less expectations.

Her mother’s words made her feel uncomfortable, and she withdrew from Jinx’s touch. Once more, her hand drifted to her neck to wrap around her throat. She looked down at Jinx.

“You’re not afraid of me, are you?” Caitlyn asked quietly.

Jinx looked back at her curiously.

“Are you afraid of me?”

“No,” Caitlyn answered far too quickly.

Jinx didn’t seem happy with her answer, but she swallowed her discomfort.

“I’m not afraid of you either. After all, you’re just a big puppy.”

Caitlyn’s face grew hot and her stomach turned in a pleasantly unpleasant way, knocking her off kilter. She opened her mouth in a desperate attempt to summon a retort, but no words came forth. So, she pressed her lips together in a tight line and turned back to the range to resume her practice.

She wondered if Jinx did that on purpose. Did the girl know how those comments, those touches made her feel? How could she know, when Caitlyn barely understood herself? It was humiliating, dehumanizing—but she never asked for her to stop. She wanted it to keep going. She wanted more.

You’re acting like some kind of animal.

Caitlyn winced, closing her eyes before firing. The bullet burst through the head of a wooden target, splinters sent flying.

You are so needy. I don’t have time for this.

Her eyes darted to the left, looking at Jinx, who had also returned to target practice. She was firing with a more casual stance now, one handed and relaxed. Caitlyn took a deep breath and aimed for a target that was mounted further up the side of the ravine. She fired and hit it dead center.

Must you always cling to me like this?

Caitlyn reloaded the gun, testing herself to see how fast she could slip the bullets into the chamber. One, two, three, four… Popping them in like pills. As soon as it was loaded, she raised the barrel and fired six shots in a row, all at different targets. Her heart was racing. She moved to aim at one of the higher targets, staring down the scope at the wooden cutout.

She saw Marcus. She saw her mother.

Caitlyn dropped the gun and stumbled backwards, clutching her chest and gasping for breath. Jinx immediately stopped what she was doing, holstering her pistol and rushing over to her.

“Hey, hey, hey, what’s the matter?” she asked quietly, cupping Caitlyn’s face in her hands.

Jinx was right in front of her but Caitlyn couldn’t see her. She was back in the dark, back on the bridge, back in her mother’s office. Jinx squeezed her face, hoping that the pressure would bring her back to reality.

“Nothing’s happening, Cait. It’s just me and you.”

Jinx started to breathe slowly and intentionally, in through her nose and out through her mouth. Caitlyn felt each exhale against her lips and smelled the sugar on Jinx’s breath. She closed her eyes and did her best to match the girl’s breathing. Behind her eyelids, she could see that hazy line connecting the two of them. She could feel Jinx’s heartbeat align with hers.

Caitlyn opened her eyes.

“You alright? We can go home if it’s too much,” said Jinx.

“I’m fine. I just got… caught up in my thoughts.”

Jinx frowned and her brow furrowed.

“I’ve got to get back to my chem research,” she muttered. “There’s gotta be something out there that can help you with this.”

Caitlyn leaned in, pressing their foreheads together.

“Does this really not happen to you?”

“Not like this. I’ve got… different stuff. It’s still not great, but I’ve learned how to live with it for the most part. This…” Jinx let her hands fall to rest on Caitlyn’s shoulders. “It paralyzes you. I worry about accidentally hurting people when I snap, but I’m more worried about you locking up and getting hurt.”

Caitlyn pulled away from her and nodded.

“It’s not ideal.”

Jinx pursed her lips, looking her over.

“Have you been able to identify any triggers?”

Caitlyn closed her eyes in thought. There were some. The firelights—the insects themselves, of course—were obviously one. Her mother’s words haunted her, and they could easily lead to recollections of troublesome memories. But what caused her to summon her mother’s voice?

She knew the answer, but it wasn’t something she wanted to admit. Not yet. Not to Jinx.

After everything, she was still trapped in a prison of self-deprecation. Still constantly judging herself by her mother’s standards, as she had been trained to do all her life. She was free from the Kiramman yoke, but she perpetuated her own torture inside her mind.

“Jinx?”

The younger girl stared up at her.

“Yes?”

“What do you think of me? Be honest.”

Jinx’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“What is your opinion of me? How do I measure up in your eyes?”

Whether Jinx realized it or not, Caitlyn was subtly revealing her major trigger.

Jinx scratched her chin and paced around a little, looking Caitlyn over and making some exaggerated hand gestures as she went—framing her between her fingers, pretending to measure her. The girl was unable to go for very long without injecting some sort of comical levity into her actions.

“Well, you’re very tall,” Jinx started, and Caitlyn scowled at her. “I’ve got more to say, I promise.” She stepped back, putting her hands on her hips and squinting. “You’re… strange. Not necessarily in a bad way, and I mean, pot, kettle…” She gestured between herself and Caitlyn. “You’re sharp, and you’re a great shot—”

“I’m an excellent shot.”

“Right, right. Anyway, at first glance you seem very… How do I put this? Uptight. Put together. Like any other posh Piltie. But there’s more to you than that, and I’ve certainly gotten to see the ugly bits through the cracks in your mask.” She reached up and lightly flicked Caitlyn’s cheek, making her flinch. “Real ugly bits. Screaming, crying, passing out ugly.”

Caitlyn closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable hammer of judgement to come strike her down.

“And… that’s what makes me like you, I guess.”

Her eyes fluttered open, and she stared at Jinx in utter disbelief. Jinx paid her no mind, and started to pace around lazily as she continued.

“You did lie to me and run away, but you came back, and… I can sort of understand why you did it, so I’m not as mad as I thought I’d be. Not as mad as I wanted to be. Even while you were gone, I wanted to be angry, but I was just…” She threw her hands up. “Not. I was more sad than anything. I was honestly trying to figure out how to get you back when Singed showed up with your—uh. Your collar.”

Caitlyn couldn’t stop her face from heating up at the mention of the thing, and she couldn’t stop her hand from reaching up to her neck. It was becoming a shameful compulsion.

“I couldn’t be mad at you when I saw you. I was mad at everyone else. I just wanted to help you. I wanted to save you, and I wanted to bring you back and make sure no one ever hurt you like that again.” Jinx sighed, hanging her head. “I don’t know if that really answered your question. I think a lot of things about you. But mostly I think that you’re just like me and I know what this —” Jinx pressed her palm flat against her chest. “—feels like, and I know it’s not easy to deal with. I don’t wanna be alone with it and I don’t want you to be alone with it either.”

Caitlyn was stunned. She didn’t know how to react. Jinx had said a lot of things about her, but none of them were critical or demeaning. She didn’t make fun of Caitlyn—at least, not in a way that mattered to her—and she didn’t judge her for her faults. She… appreciated them?

Caitlyn had always felt off kilter. Now more than ever, she felt like a mess of a person that was just barely holding it together. Jinx was right. She was great at hiding it, but the facade crumbed if you stared at it for too long under the right lighting. Beneath it was a lonely, broken girl who was desperate for affection and validation. A girl who had long been buried under the rubble of criticisms, both from herself and from her mother. Caitlyn had taken the bits and pieces of herself and shoved them into the shape that was demanded of her. She wore the frilly skirts, the fancy dresses. She put on the ridiculous, decorative enforcer uniform, complete with its stupid hat. She smiled and did her best to follow the rules (or not get caught when she didn’t) and acted like she was the person everyone thought she was.

That person was gone. She had died locked in a tower in the Academy, when her body was withering away into nothing and everyone she had ever loved had turned against her.

Why, now, was she still hiding behind the same mask? Why was she still listening to her mother, taking her criticisms to heart? Cassandra had no power over her. She was nothing but a disembodied voice in her head, parroting cruel words back to her.

“Do you think I’m a failure?” she asked without realizing she was saying the words out loud.

Concern flickered across Jinx’s features and she stepped closer, touching Caitlyn’s arm.

“No. Janna, no. Why would I think that? What, because you dropped your gun?”

Caitlyn felt tears welling up.

How many times are you going to cry over this?

She pulled away from Jinx, furiously wiping her eyes. She grit her teeth and hissed, trying to stop the turmoil that was building up inside her.

“Cait, you’re not a failure. If anything, we’re both some kind of fucked up success stories because we should absolutely be dead. Besides, I have no room to say something like that to you when everything I touch turns to shit. If anyone is a failure, it’s me.” Jinx closed the gap between them again, gripping her by the lapels of her coat. “Whatever this is about… I don’t think about you like that. I’m not constantly judging you or anything. I just think that you’re you and I—” She cut herself off before she could finish the thought. “It’s okay, Caitlyn. I’ve seen you at your lowest and I’ve never thought any less of you for it. I hope you don’t think any less of me.”

Her tears could no longer be contained.

“Oh, Jinx, no! I don’t think less of you. I feel terrible that I can’t help you the way you’ve helped me,” she blubbered. “I just… I don’t know who I am anymore, and I’m struggling to figure out what that means. I feel… haunted.”

Jinx wrapped her arms around Caitlyn’s waist.

“Gods, I know how that feels.”

Nothing else was said. Caitlyn took a few moments to collect herself, and Jinx let her go to retrieve her gun and make sure it hadn’t been damaged in the fall. They decided to wrap up for the day and head back to the Lanes, where they were supposed to meet up with Silco for a debriefing.

Their break was almost over. Soon, there would be work to do.

As they approached The Last Drop, Jinx eyed the gun slung over Caitlyn’s shoulder.

“Did you think of a name?”

“Hm? For what?”

“Your gun, silly.”

“Oh. I had a few ideas.”

“Anything good?”

Caitlyn chewed her lower lip as she turned over the names in her head. There was a shocking amount of birds in Zaun for a city that was sinking into the sump. Likely something to do with all the rotting corpses floating around.

“Corvus,” she said. “Does that sound good?”

“Ooh, spooky!” Jinx wiggled her fingers. “I like it. We can make a name for you with that. A new name.”

“Do I need one?”

“If you want people to be afraid of you? Yes. Jinx isn’t the name my mother gave me,” she said, and then her face fell as if she immediately regretted what she had said.

“I like Caitlyn.” It was the Kiramman part that she wanted to get rid of.

“That’s fine. Not really what I meant. You spend enough time around me and people will certainly start calling you something.”

Cailyn didn’t know if Jinx wanted her to be excited about that or not.

They weaved through the intoxicated revelry inside The Last Drop and made their way up to Silco’s office. Sevika and Viktor were already there. No one else was in the room. Caitlyn found that odd. Was there no one else in command? Did Sevika relay everything to the rest of the gang? Why was she here? Why was Viktor here?

“Good afternoon, Jinx, Caitlyn,” said Silco, gesturing towards the couch. “Thank you for deigning to join us.”

Jinx immediately collapsed on it, leaving just a little room for Caitlyn to sit towards the end.

“Caitlyn,” said Viktor, nodding to greet her. “You’re looking well.”

“Thanks to you.”

He smiled.

“Let’s get down to business,” said Silco, snuffing out the stub of his cigar in an ashtray on his desk that was decorated in a rather familiar style. “The recent incident in Piltover has put a target on Jinx, but we can use this to our advantage. If topside thinks she’s the problem, they’re less likely to look for the real operation.”

Caitlyn was uncomfortable with what he was proposing. He wanted to obscure their illegal dealings behind Jinx’s chaos. It was a great plan, because Caitlyn had never gotten the chance to tell anyone that Silco was behind it all—but it put Jinx in danger.

Apparently, her discomfort had shown on her face, as Silco directly addressed her next.

“Thankfully, we shouldn’t have to worry too much for her safety, since we brought on someone who is solely responsible for keeping her safe.” He looked at Jinx next. “You’ll continue your cleanup duties, but we’re also going to be shifting you to smokescreen work.”

Jinx gave him a skeptical look. “And what does that mean?”

“You’re gonna be our new shit-stirrer,” said Sevika, smirking. “Doing what you do best—running around and causing problems. Just not for us, hopefully.”

“You want to use her as bait,” said Caitlyn, venom in her voice.

“Not bait . A distraction,” Silco hissed. “I would never intentionally put Jinx in danger. Or are  you implying that you can’t keep her safe?”

Gods, he knew how to press her buttons. She did her best to dampen the fire that had been lit in her chest. Still, she couldn’t hold it all back. She leaned forward to spit at him.

“I would never let anything happen to her—”

Caitlyn was cut off by a hand placed on her chest. Jinx was pressing her back down into her seat.

“Easy, pup,” she said quietly. “It’s alright. I don’t die easy, and there’s no one I’d rather have watching my back than you.”

Jinx was able to put out the flames with just a few words. Her mere touch had a cooling, calming effect on Caitlyn, who took a deep breath and sat back. Jinx turned herself around on the couch so that she was laying across Caitlyn’s lap.

“Sorry, pops. Go on?”

Silco continued on for a while, outlining plans for various operations that were to take place in the coming weeks. It was a buffet of information for Caitlyn, who had spent years trying to piece together the full picture of the undercity’s drug kingpin. Now, she was sitting in his office, and he was willingly spilling all his secrets to her. Caitlyn filed them all away in her mind, but there was no use taking notes or keeping proper track of it all. This vital intelligence was useless to her now outside of knowing where to go and when. Even then, she didn’t need to pay attention to it. Her job was simple: follow Jinx, keep her safe. If she was being honest with herself, she was tired of trying to keep up with everything. Was it so terrible to want things to be simple for once?

Silco’s words went in one ear and out the other. Caitlyn stared down at Jinx, who was listening attentively, her gaze fixed on her adoptive father, hanging on his every word. She took her job seriously. It shouldn’t have surprised Caitlyn, as she had seen the girl faithfully going to help out time and time again when she was tied up in her hideout. It was really the only time Jinx had ever left her alone. Caitlyn was thrilled that she would be able to go with her now. She didn’t want to be left alone again.

Without thinking, Caitlyn reached down and brushed some of the hair out of Jinx’s face. Jinx’s eyes flicked up towards her, and Caitlyn’s heart dropped. She feared she had overstepped or done something to upset her. But Jinx just smiled at her before returning her attention to the debrief. When she looked away, Caitlyn smiled too.

The only time Caitlyn returned her attention to Silco was when he addressed Viktor.

“How are things with Singed?”

“Progressing smoothly. I’ve moved my things to his lab, and we should be on track to continue my work.”

“Good. Keep me updated.”

Viktor nodded, and that was the end of the exchange.

Caitlyn narrowed her eyes at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. She remembered his promise to look into the shimmer variant for them, but the fact that he was now working with Singed had her on edge.

Before she could ponder it any further, her attention was captured by Jinx grabbing the collar of her coat and tugging her down.

“Hungry?” she asked once she had Caitlyn’s full attention.

“I mean, no, but…” Caitlyn looked at Viktor. “Doctor’s orders, still.”

“Well, for once, I am hungry. Let’s blow this joint and grab some grub.”

Caitlyn hoped she didn’t mean literal grubs. When Jinx let go, Caitlyn’s least favorite compulsion reared its head and her hand returned to her throat. The action had reminded her of when they were in the brothel baths, and Jinx had reached up and grabbed her by the collar.

Thinking of the baths led to thinking about Jinx, naked, and Caitlyn had to bite the inside of her cheek to clear the thoughts before they went too far.

The meeting had concluded, and Caitlyn was following Jinx out of the bar. They were picking up dinner before heading back to the penthouse. While they were waiting on their food, Jinx turned to Caitlyn to make small talk.

“So, how ya feelin’ about this first job?”

Caitlyn blinked. “Uh, to be honest, I kind of stopped paying attention about a third of the way through.”

Jinx chuckled. “Really? I thought you were like, super detail-oriented. A detective, and all that.”

“I am—I was , but I just… I don’t know. You know what you’re doing, so I’ll just follow your lead.”

Jinx clapped her on the shoulder as the stall worker called out their number. Caitlyn stepped up to retrieve the order.

“Well, you probably should have listened at least a little bit, because it is kind of relevant to you,” said Jinx, hips swaying from side to side as she started to head towards the apartment building.

“Oh? How so?”

Jinx spun on her heel, now walking backwards so she could look at Caitlyn. She raised an eyebrow and grinned.

“You really weren’t listening? I’m shocked, pup. Well, anyways, it's a big deal because we’re gonna be going to your funeral on Sunday.”

Caitlyn almost dropped the bag of food.

“We’re what!?"

Chapter Text

As it turned out, the memorial service being held for Caitlyn (and the other casualties of Jinx’s rampage) was gearing up to be an incredibly popular event. Silco had heard through the grapevine that a rival chembaron was planning to use the event as an opportunity to break into the Academy and steal some hextech, just as Jinx had done.

“It’s an arms race,” said Caitlyn. She was staring out of the window in their apartment, looking down at the neon streets below. “Silco has hextech, everyone knows you can weaponize it—”

“And I did! ”

“And you did. So now everyone else wants a piece of the pie.” Caitlyn wished she hadn’t shut her brain off during the briefing. This was more important than she thought. “Do you know if any of the other chembarons have someone that could do what you did?”

Jinx, who was draped over the back of the couch, feet kicking in the air, tried to shrug. Being upside down didn’t help. It looked more like she was trying to push herself back upright.

“I dunno. I don’t think there’s anybody. I feel like I would’ve heard about it, or Silco would’ve told me.” Her brow furrowed, and she swung her legs over her head, rolling until her body was splayed across the couch in a more “normal” manner. “Ekko could probably do it, but he doesn’t work with any of those bastards. He’s a big goody two-shoes. Boy savior.”

Caitlyn hummed as she ran through her thoughts again, pacing back and forth in front of the window.

“You stole a gemstone because you knew you could make something out of it. But if some idiot goes in there, they would probably steal something that was already built.” Her eyes went wide thinking about the things in that lab. Jayce’s hammer. Viktor’s laser arm. The Atlas gauntlets. “Gods, Jinx, we can’t let them get their hands on any of it.”

What Jinx had already built from a hexgem was a nightmare in and of itself, but if warring chembarons started popping up with their own pieces of hextech, it would spell disaster. Mutually assured destruction, most likely. All of them would wind up in the sump.

“That’s the job!” Jinx said in a sing-song voice. “And we’re the eyes in the skies.”

Jinx’s role was to take to the rooftops. They were to watch the memorial service for any foul play while also keeping an eye on the Academy building. If anything started happening, Jinx would cause a distraction. Caitlyn would cover her until they got an all clear signal. Others would be dispatched to cover alternate points of entry, and Sevika would be waiting underground to stop anyone taking the tunnels. The information Silco had received wasn’t very specific. All they knew was that some topsider had promised Smeech’s gang that security would be lax.

Caitlyn collapsed into a nearby chair, exhausted from trying to think things through. Getting her brain to slow down and pick things apart was harder than it used to be. She was still just as good at it, but it required a new kind of mental effort to keep herself from spiraling off into ridiculous hypotheticals. It didn’t help that she was going to be attending her own funeral. From a distance, yes, but she would be witnessing the whole sordid affair. Her mother would be there.

Caitlyn groaned and pulled her legs up to her chest, closing in on herself. She thought herself free from this specific kind of torment, but it was persistently haunting her. Her arms were starting to itch. Fingers twitched as she resisted the urge to scratch at them.

“Are you alright?”

Caitlyn raised her head, eyes flying across the room to meet Jinx’s. She chewed on her lower lip, wondering if she was capable of explaining.

“It’s your mom, isn’t it? You told me that before.”

Caitlyn winced, but she nodded before letting her head sink back down behind her knees.

“I thought I would be over all this. After everything, I thought I’d be able to let it all go.”

“It’s never that easy.” Jinx sat up. “There are things I think I’m done with that come crawling back when I least expect them.”

“It just feels like I’m doing it to myself.” Caitlyn could no longer restrain herself. She dug her nails into her forearm, scratching an itch that would never be satisfied. “Mum isn’t here. What I’m hearing in my head isn’t real. It’s just… me.”

“It’s not you. It’s her. It’s stuff she said to you in the past, right?”

“... Mostly, yes.”

“Then it’s her. Even if your brain is cooking up new shit for her to say, that’s her and not you. That’s because it’s what you think she would say. You’re not saying it to yourself.” Jinx pointed at her. “Don’t say it to yourself. Let her say it, and figure out how to ignore her.”

Caitlyn looked at Jinx over her knees.

“How do you ignore it?”

Jinx frowned and leaned back.

“Honestly… I don’t. At least, I don’t do a good job of it. I’m really thankful I haven’t accidentally shot anything since we moved in here. Part of the reason I was hiding out in my workshop was because I was less afraid of breaking something, or hurting someone.”

Caitlyn had seen it a few times. Where she locked up, Jinx would lash out. She’d shot at nothing, thrown things, shouted at people who weren’t there. Sometimes her attention was drawn to several different places at the same time, and Caitlyn wondered how she survived with that many people vying for attention inside her head. She was alone with her mother, and that was already too much for her.

“But you can tell her to shut up. It doesn’t work, but you can do it,” said Jinx. “I don’t think you really have, uh, visual stuff, but throwing things at them helps to. I’ve been trying not to do it now, though. Don’t wanna ruin the place.”

Jinx grinned, and Caitlyn laughed a little. She let herself unfurl, feet touching the floor.

“I don’t think I want anyone to know I’m alive,” she said, staring at the ceiling. “I mean, my mother knows, but that’s not the point. If the rest of Piltover thinks I’m dead, I’d like to stay that way.”

“We can make that work. Get you a mask. Keep your identity under wraps.”

“Yeah. That should work.”

The odd couple had not entirely adjusted to living together despite their past experiences. Caitlyn often thought things would feel more natural if they were back in the workshop instead of this glamorous penthouse apartment—though she had grown to appreciate having running water enough to want to stay here.

It was awkward because Jinx seemed out of her element, and Caitlyn didn’t know how to act in response to that. Caitlyn found it odd, considering that this was allegedly Jinx’s home in the not-too-distant past. She didn’t act like it was her home. She sometimes moved through the apartment as if one wrong move would cause the place to crumble like a house of cards, her eyes distant and glassy as if she was somewhere else entirely.

Years of instruction on proper manners kept Caitlyn acting mostly normal. She had her occasional fits, but she was working on controlling her thoughts to keep them at bay. Whether she was making progress or not was hard to determine. Some nights, she laid awake for hours after trying to go to bed, tossing and turning, twitching and scratching. The individual pains were nothing on their own, but in rapid succession it quickly turned into death by a thousand cuts. She had accidentally aggravated the still-healing scar on her right forearm, and she had to shamefully get Viktor to bandage it for her to keep her from making it worse.

Tonight was another one of those nights. She and Jinx had gone to their separate rooms. Caitlyn had finally gotten proper sleepwear. Though it was one set of shorts and a tank top, it was more than nothing. She had grown tired of sleeping in her street clothes. It made her feel grimy no matter if she had showered that day or not.

The shorts were nice because her legs were a particularly troublesome spot at night. Sharp prickles around her shins, stabbing pains in her feet, and unbearably itchy pins and needles sensation in her thighs. Caitlyn knew it was bad. She knew she should stop scratching. She knew she would draw blood and mar her skin. But she had no other relief. She would claw at herself until she was exhausted, eventually managing to get a few hours of sleep before tomorrow rolled around to greet her.

Tonight, though, her agony was interrupted by someone else’s.

Jinx was screaming bloody murder. The noise began so abruptly that Caitlyn accidentally dug her fingernails into the inside of her thigh, breaking the skin with the pressure. She leapt out of bed without hesitation and flew across the apartment to the door covered in Jinx’s trademark graffiti. Caitlyn had never been in her room before, but she didn’t even stop to think about that. The cries from within were too distressing, too painful. It hurt her to listen to them. She threw open the decorated door.

Jinx was on the floor, in the far corner of the room, opposite from her bed. She had dragged the quilt off and was huddled within it, looking smaller than Caitlyn had ever seen her. Terror was painted across her face. As she so often was, Jinx was seeing something that Caitlyn couldn’t. Her screams turned to choked sobs. When their eyes finally met, Jinx was looking up at her with pleading desperation.

Do something. Do anything. Please.

Caitlyn had frozen at the sight, but movement returned to her, and before she knew it, she was kneeling next to Jinx, shielding her from whatever was bothering her with her body.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry—” she repeated over and over, only pausing to suck in a shaky breath.

“Jinx, it’s okay. There’s nothing there. It’s just me.”

Caitlyn placed herself between Jinx and the rest of the room, trying to block out the girl’s entire view with herself.

“I didn’t mean it. I only wanted to help. I didn’t mean—”

Jinx curled in on herself, wailing into the quilt. Caitlyn wasn’t sure what to do. Jinx’s meltdowns were usually angry, and they resolved after she bickered with herself a bit. Either that, or Caitlyn just had to say something that would ground her. That strategy didn’t seem to be working. Jinx was pushing herself into the corner like she wanted to disappear into it. Caitlyn’s stomach twisted and her heart ached. Logic and reason failing her, she let emotion guide her as she reached out and pulled Jinx into her arms.

The younger girl immediately threw her arms around Caitlyn and sobbed into her chest. Caitlyn sighed in relief—she had found the right answer after all. Jinx was still mumbling nonsensical apologies through her tears. Caitlyn held her close and gently rubbed her back, whispering assurances to the girl.

Time passed. How much, Caitlyn did not know. During that time, she glanced around the room. It was decorated in a manner similar to the door, with walls covered in drawings (some far better than others). This was clearly a child’s room, as the bed was a twin and the rest of the furniture was quite juvenile. There were toys strewn about, and in one corner there was a corkboard with dozens of drawings pinned to it.

It was a child’s room, and Jinx was behaving like a scared child. This gave Caitlyn an idea.

“Jinx? Would you like to sleep in my room?”

Jinx swallowed hard and looked up at her, eyes still glistening with shimmering tears. Pink irises darted to and fro, surveying her surroundings. Shyly, she nodded.

Caitlyn nodded back and slipped an arm under the girl’s legs, lifting her with ease—Jinx weighed nearly nothing to her—to carry her back to her bedroom. Inappropriate thoughts intruded upon the front of Caitlyn’s mind and she hastily shoved them to the back. Nothing about this was to be tainted by her licentious yearning. In fact, she would simply sleep on the couch. Jinx could have the whole bed to herself.

Caitlyn laid Jinx on her bed, quilt and all, and the blue-haired girl immediately curled up like a cat and sunk into the pillows. Satisfied that this would solve the problem, she turned and began to head for the door.

“Alright then. Get some sleep. I’ll be right outside and I’ll leave the door open, so just call for me if you need any—”

An arm shot out from under the quilt to grab her wrist and tug her backwards. Caitlyn stumbled a little, turning to see Jinx looking up at her with that same pleading expression. She didn’t even need to speak. Caitlyn knew what she wanted. Though she hadn’t wanted to, she couldn’t deny the girl now. Caitlyn acquiesced and climbed into bed with Jinx, though she made an effort to keep space between the two of them.

This is perverse behavior, Caitlyn.

It’s not like that. It isn’t like that. She’s scared.

You’re taking advantage of this poor girl.

I am not. She doesn’t want me to leave.

Do you think any of these girls actually like you? They come to you for what you can offer them—not for your company.

Caitlyn ground her teeth together as the paresthesia returned. Her pulse quickened. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t scratch herself now. She would disturb Jinx. Instead, she screwed her eyes shut and bit the inside of her mouth, trying to cover the pain with more pain. It provided no relief.

What did ease her suffering was a gentle touch upon her cheek that slid down to her jaw and softly stroked the underside of her chin. Her eyes flew open. Pink saw pink.

Jinx reached out to grab Caitlyn’s shoulder and wiggled across the bed, closing the gap between them and sliding her arm underneath the older girl’s, pulling her into a loose, one-armed hug. Without saying a word, she closed her eyes and let her head rest beside Caitlyn’s chest, her hair just barely brushing against her skin. It was so soft.

Caitlyn felt nothing, heard nothing. The night was silent and her body was at peace. Warily, she raised her arm and laid a hand on Jinx’s waist, just below her ribcage. She could feel her breathing.

What followed was the easiest, most restful sleep of Caitlyn’s entire life.

X

The days before the memorial service were busy, filled with lots of time at the shooting range and meetings at The Last Drop. Jinx wanted Caitlyn to practice as much as possible—not because she was doubting her skills, but she wanted to make sure Caitlyn wasn’t going to freeze up in a high stakes situation. Caitlyn wasn’t offended by this. It was a genuine cause for concern. If she got spooked by a hallucination during target practice, what would happen if she got triggered by a real person in a shootout? Nothing good.

This was why Caitlyn was making an active effort to lay mental images of the people haunting her thoughts over the targets. Marcus. Jayce. Her mother. She spent the mornings gunning down councillors and sheriffs and mad doctors, unflinchingly putting bullets right between their eyes and watching them fall, bloody and broken.

It probably wasn’t the healthiest way to cope with her trauma, but it was what had to be done. After all, her mother was going to be present at the memorial. Jayce would be too. She wasn’t there to take them out, but she couldn’t have herself locking up if she saw them through her scope.

BLAM! Marcus crumpled to the ground. BLAM! Jayce took a clean shot right through the heart and fell, clutching his chest. BLAM! Cassandra Kiramman’s perfect face had a perfect hole in the center of her forehead.

It didn’t feel good. It made Caitlyn’s heart pound, made the shimmer running through her veins boil. It made her cry sometimes without even realizing it. She would lower her gun and realize that her face was wet with tears. She would keep going until she felt sick to her stomach and the range was littered with the bodies of people she had respected, people she had trusted, people she had loved.

“I’m gonna have to make new targets,” said Jinx, whistling as she surveyed the destruction.

Caitlyn blinked and the corpses disappeared, replaced by dented metal and shattered wooden panels, splinters covering the ground.

She tried to respond to Jinx, to continue the conversation, but there was a lump in her throat preventing her from speaking. She tried to swallow it and was overwhelmed by nausea. Caitlyn fell to her knees, holding herself up with her rifle, and retched.

Jinx was startled and her casual demeanor was erased by frantic concern as she crouched beside her, laying a comforting hand on Caitlyn’s back.

“Woah, are you okay? Are you sick?” Jinx mumbled something quieter to herself that sounded like, “Can we even get sick?”

Caitlyn weakly shook her head and pushed herself up slightly, still balancing by gripping the barrel of the rifle.

“I’m… fine.”

“No, you are not. What have you been doing? I’ve been watching you hit targets over and over like a machine.”

She shook her head again and forced herself back onto her feet, shrugging off Jinx’s hand as she did.

“It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Jinx didn’t say anything else, but the look on her face showed that she didn’t believe Caitlyn’s answer.

“Okay, well. We gotta go. I have to meet up with pops for a bit, go over some plans.”

Caitlyn folded her rifle and slung it over her shoulder. She followed wordlessly as Jinx led them back to the Lanes.

Jinx met with Silco often. Privately, just the two of them. Catilyn didn’t consider this to be unusual. After all, he was essentially the girl’s father. But it did irk her a little that she didn’t know what they were discussing.

Today, Caitlyn found herself waiting in the hall outside of Silco’s office, standing across from Sevika, who had been kicked out to allow for some one-on-one father-daughter time. Sevika was smoking a cigar, occasionally casting her eyes over Caitlyn as if she was measuring her worth. Caitlyn avoided meeting her eyes, instead staring at the gap under the door to Silco’s office as if she could glean something of what was happening inside from the sliver of sickly green light leaking through.

“She’s giving him his medicine.”

Caitlyn didn’t look up.

“What medicine?”

“For his eye.” Sevika tapped her cigar, ashes falling onto the floor. “He can’t do the injection himself. She likes to do it.”

Caitlyn pursed her lips. Jinx always loved to help. It made sense that she would come around every day to give her adopted father his meds. Still, something irked her about it. She closed her eyes, knitting her brow together. She was not going to let herself feel jealous over this.

Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and finally looked at Sevika. The woman was tall, sturdy, and unwavering. Caitlyn remembered when she had come after her at the brothel. Her eyes drifted to the cape covering her prosthetic arm, and she remembered the whirring and hissing sounds of the shimmer-powered machinery.

Carefully, Caitlyn said, “I have a favor to ask.”

Sevika raised one eyebrow. “Oh? Go ahead, shoot.”

Caitlyn forced herself to swallow her pride. This was something she had been considering for a few days now when she wasn’t making herself ill imagining shooting her mother.

“I want you to teach me to fight. Hand-to-hand combat.”

Sevika raised both eyebrows, looking simultaneously impressed and amused.

“Not confident enough in your skills?” she asked, looking away as she tapped her cigar yet again.

“I’m a sharpshooter. I work best from a distance, when I have the space to line up my shots. I’m not…Close quarters combat is not a strength of mine. I learned some things in the Academy, but I never excelled.” Caitlyn looked down at her feet. “There will come times when I have to protect Jinx in situations that aren’t ideal for long-range weaponry. I have a pistol—” She raised her right leg, where the gun was strapped to her thigh. “—but I need to be able to physically subdue an opponent. I have the speed and the strength, but I don’t know how to use it.”

Sevika took a long drag of her cigar, scanning Caitlyn from top to bottom for probably the fifth time today. Caitlyn averted her eyes yet again, thumbing at the strap of her rifle that crossed over her chest.

“Sure.”

Caitlyn looked at Sevika, eyes widening.

“Really? You’re being serious?”

The woman nodded. “Yes. You’re part of this operation now, and we make sure our boys know how to handle themselves. Besides, you’ve gotten me off the hook. I’m not Jinx’s babysitter anymore.” She grinned. “But I also don’t want the kid getting killed. Silco wouldn’t stand for it.”

He hadn’t. The fact that Jinx was still alive today was proof of that. Singed had done the operation, but it was because of Silco that she and Caitlyn were the way they were now. Caitlyn wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“Right. That makes sense.” Caitlyn straightened her back and tilted her head up, trying to maintain an air of confidence as she said, “Thank you.”

Sevika waved away her thanks.

“Come see me tomorrow morning.”

Caitlyn nodded.

The door to Silco’s office swung open, and out stepped the chembaron and his adopted daughter.

“Caitlyn,” he said, nodding towards her.

“Cait! Thanks for waiting,” said Jinx, rushing over to her. “C’mon, let’s go get some lunch.”

Viktor still had her eating regularly, now with a focus on getting more protein in her diet to help her rebuild muscle. This was easy, since meat was abundant in Zaun, though Caitlyn dared not think about exactly where it was all coming from.

After lunch, they returned to the apartment, where Caitlyn spent some time cleaning her rifle before doing a small workout. Jinx had gotten her a pull-up bar as well as some weights. She focused on working her arms and her back—crucial areas for marksman—but didn’t neglect her lower body, as leg strength was just as important. Sometimes, Jinx would watch her exercise, and it always made Caitlyn blush, though she never hesitated in her movements. It was almost voyeuristic, and she found herself enjoying the attention. A cold shower was always necessary afterwards.

Neither of them talked about the night Jinx had spent in Caitlyn’s bed. Jinx had been gone when Caitlyn woke, and she was thankful for that. She wasn’t sure what she would’ve said to the girl if she had still been there. They both pressed on as if it hadn’t happened, and Jinx hadn’t had any further late night breakdowns in the following days.

Caitlyn had done it for Jinx’s sake, but she found herself selfishly missing the closeness, the intimacy. Her bed felt empty. She would wake up clinging to pillows, tangled in the sheets, her mother’s voice chiding her for her foolish, clingy behavior.

Being around Jinx had become tough at times. In perfectly calm situations, she found herself wanting to wrap her arms around the girl, draw her in and hold her close. When they spent time together at home, Caitlyn wished Jinx would sit closer to her. She wanted to touch her all the time, and not in unsavory ways. Her thoughts had grown innocently affectionate, and Caitlyn was being forced to contend with the fact that she might not simply be attracted to Jinx in the physical sense.

There was something about her. Something about the nigh unconditional care she provided to Caitlyn. Even when Jinx didn’t explicitly tell her she was doing something for her, Caitlyn could tell when she was going out of her way to provide for her. After their first shopping trip, more clothing in a similar style had appeared in her wardrobe overnight. Caitlyn hadn’t asked for more tools for her workbench, but they were provided anyways, and ammunition was replenished without word. Jinx made sure she got three meals a day even if she didn’t eat them herself. Ingrained manners told Caitlyn that she should say something, tell Jinx that she didn’t need to go to such efforts—but Caitlyn enjoyed it too much. She liked the attention. Though she had servants waiting on her hand and foot for most of her life, this felt different.

Jinx cared about her. Caitlyn just wasn’t sure how to respond to it. For now, she focused her energy into honing her combat skills.

This was the mindset she brought to her first training session with Sevika.

“People down here don’t fight fair, so you can’t either.”

This was Sevika’s first lesson. She had Caitlyn demonstrate what she already knew, which wasn’t much. She used to be much more stiff in her movements, but the shimmer had loosened her up. She moved more instinctually and was actually able to dance around Sevika’s hits for a while solely relying on those gut reactions, letting her body move on its own. Blind instinct could only carry her so far, though, and it wasn’t long before Sevika had her pinned to a wall. Caitlyn was thankful Jinx had opted to head down to her workshop for the day, as she didn’t want her to witness this embarrassing learning process.

“You’re moving like Jinx,” Sevika observed, letting her go. “That works for Jinx because she’s small. You’re not.”

Caitlyn dusted herself off and stood up straight. She was six feet tall, and the slight heels on her boots gave her another inch or so, putting her just slightly above Sevika.

“Point made. What do I need to do, then?”

“Jinx can operate on instinct because she’s lived here her whole life. I wouldn’t say she’s a good fighter by any means, but she can hold her own because she knows what to expect. You don’t.”

“I do,” said Caitlyn, narrowing her eyes.

Sevika rolled hers. “Sure, princess. Listen, you’re a sharpshooter. You need to bring that precision to the way you fight.”

For the next hour, Sevika taught Caitlyn some basic moves, some of which she was familiar with from the Academy. How to disarm people, use their momentum against them, sweep their legs, and so on. She taught her how to punch properly, how to hold her hands and how to stand and how to brace herself and block. At the end, Sevika challenged her to another spar, and Caitlyn did her best to apply what she had learned.

As they began, Caitlyn focused on finding windows to use the moves she had been taught, only to find that it distracted her from what was actually happening. She took some sturdy (but not damaging) blows from Sevika before she abandoned her analysis. Her body was screaming at her to return to that instinctual movement. It was almost painful to hold it back, so Caitlyn let the shimmer rush through her and guide her movements.

“Don’t get sloppy!” Sevika shouted.

Caitlyn grit her teeth. As her body moved on its own, she found she had more time to consider Sevika’s movements. She tightened her stance, forcing the loose movements to become sharp, exercising a degree of control over her body’s knee-jerk responses. She blocked two jabs and ducked under the third. Sevika went low in response, and Caitlyn sidestepped the blow and circled around, using her opponent’s forward movement to send her tumbling to the ground. She let herself celebrate the moment and immediately realized that was a mistake as Sevika rolled out of the fall and swept Caitlyn’s legs out from under her.

“Better,” said the woman, a little out of breath. “Needs work, but it’s better. Same time next week?”

Caitlyn rubbed her back as she got back onto her feet.

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Sevika clapped her on the back as she walked away.

“Good luck on Sunday. My condolences, I guess,” she said, chuckling.

Caitlyn rolled her eyes and went to collect her coat and rifle from where she had laid them aside during their sparring session. Jinx had asked her to come down to the workshop when she was done, so she slipped into a nearby entrance to the tunnels, disappearing into the darkness. She hadn’t memorized the way to the workshop, but she didn’t need to—she could follow the line that always brought her to Jinx, pulsing and pulling her along, binding the two of them together.

It was almost too poetic. Caitlyn remembered reading Ionian fables about threads of fate binding people together, guiding them towards their true loves. A romantic notion that she had adored as a child because it would make things so much simpler if the world told her who she was supposed to be with. As she got older, she abandoned the childish notion. If anything was going to tell her who to be with, it was her mother. And gods, she had tried. No one Caitlyn showed an interest in ever seemed to be good enough, which was why she gave up on proper dating entirely and stuck to casual flings. Not that Cassandra liked those either, but there was no point in pursuing a romantic connection if she was just going to be paired up with a suitable bachelorette later in life.

But Caitlyn found herself entertaining those long-forgotten folk tales again as she walked through the dank tunnels, following a thread that was visible only to her and one other.

It wasn’t like that, of course. There was a perfectly good scientific, alchemic explanation for it. Shared blood, and all that.

Jinx wasn’t working on anything when Caitlyn arrived. She was sitting at her workbench doing nothing in particular. Fiddling with bits of metal, knocking things around with a pair of pliers. When Caitlyn drew closer, she shot up from her seat and pulled a blueprint over something on the desk.

“Cait! How was your date with ol’ Sevika? Learn anything useful?” Jinx leaned in and looked her over, growing slightly serious as she asked, “No bruises or anything, right?”

“Maybe a few, but nothing serious. She wasn’t actually trying to hurt me. And, yes, I think I did learn a few things. I’m meeting up with her again next week for some more training.”

“Good! Like I say, there’s always room for improvement.”

Usually, Jinx said that when she was talking about adding unnecessary extra projectiles to a perfectly good gun, but Caitlyn could see how it applied to this scenario as well. She nodded thoughtfully as she went over some of the moves she learned in her head.

“What have you been up to?” she asked, looking at the workbench.

“Ah, just doing a little regular maintenance on Pow-Pow.” She pointed her thumb over her shoulder where the gun in question was propped up on a custom-made stand. “Though, there was something else…”

Jinx trailed off and Caitlyn’s brow furrowed as she gave the girl a gentle yet questioning look, prompting her to continue. Jinx hemmed and hawed for a moment, rocking on her feet and looking everywhere but at Caitlyn.

“How do I put this? Well, let’s start from the beginning. I’ve been doing a lot of research on how I could help you with your, uhhh, side effects. Unfortunately, I haven’t made a lot of headway in the alchemical avenue. I’m sure there’s something there, but I can’t quite put my finger on it yet.”

Caitlyn nodded along. “Of course. It’s no problem at all if it takes time. I appreciate your efforts.”

Jinx smiled a small, genuine kind of smile that rarely crossed her face. Then, she continued.

“In the meantime, I did some… alternative research. There are ways to deal with these things outside the realm of chemicals. I know you picked some things up from the book I gave you a while back, and I hope it helped at least a little.” Hesitance returned to her voice. “Lately, I’ve noticed you… How do I put this? I’ve noticed some things. Little habits of yours, I guess.”

Caitlyn grew nervous. She wondered what Jinx could be referencing as her hand drifted to wrap around her neck, and—ah, that. She withdrew her hand a little too sharply, forcing her arm down by her side.

“Yeaaaah,” Jinx said awkwardly. “I really don’t want to make you uncomfortable, so if this is reading things totally wrong, please just tell me to stop and I will drop it and we can both forget this ever happened. I just… I want to help, and I think this might work.”

Jinx reached over to push aside the blueprint and Caitlyn felt like both of them were trapped in molasses. Time slowed down and Caitlyn felt her heart jump into her throat and beat with such intensity that it shook her whole body.

It can’t be. She wouldn’t. Why would she? It can’t be.

Anxiety overtook her, a mixture of animalistic excitement and pure terror. She was sure she was shaking, but it also felt as though her mind was separating from her body.

This can’t be real. This can’t be happening.

Hidden underneath the blueprint was a circular piece of leather with a buckle and a D-ring attached to the front. A collar.

Caitlyn felt like she was going to pass out for a myriad of reasons. She was dizzy, but she managed to stay on her feet, standing statue still as Jinx wrapped her fingers around the collar and picked it up. Caitlyn’s eyes followed her every move, locked on the item in her hands. There was no way she could look Jinx in the eyes right now.

“I didn’t really think about it much at all the first time I—when I restrained you. It was just something I had lying around and I thought it would be safer than having you literally tied up. And I thought it was funny, keeping you chained like a—” Jinx was blushing now, unable to say what they were both thinking. “When Singed brought the collar to Silco, I knew exactly what it meant without him having to say anything.”

“I held onto it!” Caitlyn blurted out without thinking. She caught herself immediately and clamped her jaw shut, cheeks flushing.

Jinx blinked in surprise. “What?”

“When they took me in, they stripped me and took everything I had on me, but I wouldn’t let them take it. I used the last bit of strength I had to fight them off and hold onto the—” She couldn’t say it. “Hold onto it. They let me have it. Too much effort, I guess. And when I met with Viktor, I knew if I gave it to him you would know it was really me.”

Jinx was silent, and Caitlyn was having a hard time reading the expression on her face. She squeezed the new collar in her hands tighter, leather creaking a little in her grip. She looked at it, then looked at Caitlyn, who looked down so as not to meet her eyes.

“You seem uncomfortable without it. I don’t really know if this is the right thing to do. I honestly rejected the idea the first time it crossed my mind, because it felt… bad. Like I was doing something to make you my prisoner again. That’s not what I want.” She sucked in a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “But you kept touching your neck like that, and I kept thinking about it. And I wound up going by Babette’s one evening because I was curious, and I talked to one of the girls…”
Caitlyn didn’t realize it was possible to be so mortified and so excited at the same time. She was burning up from the inside out.

“It was a very enlightening conversation. I learned a lot, honest. And I just think…” Jinx pursed her lips. “I think this might help. Gods, Cait, say something. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

She felt like it too. Caitlyn was staring at the floor, eyes tracing a bit of neon pink graffiti in front of her feet.

“I…” she croaked, trying to remember how to speak.

“Just tell me if this is something you want. If not, I’ll throw it over the edge right now and never bring it up again. We can forget this happened and just go back to how things were.”

Caitlyn forced herself to look at Jinx and found that the girl was just as visibly embarrassed as she was. It made her feel better, if only slightly.

Her mind was reeling. It was like Jinx had read her mind, stared straight into her soul and pulled out her deepest, most shameful desires. The things she could barely even admit to herself were now being held out in front of her, ready to be claimed and embraced.

Her mother was desperately trying to say something but the sound of her own heartbeat drowned out the voice. Cassandra was relegated to being background noise in her mindscape as every neuron in her brain chanted along with her pulse: YES! YES! YES! YES!

Thinking things through was Caitlyn’s biggest strength. Whenever she encountered a problem, she took a step back and broke it down into tiny pieces, analyzing each before putting it back together, solving it like a puzzle. Even if she didn’t know the final answer, she could come up with a course of action that would help her reach it. Logic and reason were weapons in her arsenal, and she was just as adept at using them as she was with firing a rifle.

Right now, they were both failing her, beaten down by an overwhelming combination of desire and shame. She was so disgusted by herself that it almost felt good.

“Caitlyn. Say something. Say anything!” Jinx pleaded. “I didn’t go through all this trouble just for you to go braindead on me right now!”

The sound of Jinx’s voice cut through the pounding in her skull. Caitlyn stepped forward and dropped to her knees in front of the girl, grabbing her by the wrists and looking up at her, tears pooling in her eyes.

“Please,” she whispered. “Do it before I convince myself not to.”

Jinx nodded wordlessly and, with shaky fingers, undid the brass buckle. Caitlyn pulled her hands down and guided them around her neck before letting go to reach up and pull her hair out of the way, tying it into a loose ponytail so Jinx could secure the buckle. She fumbled with it for a bit, making sure it was tight enough without being too tight.

“Is that good?” she asked quietly as she folded the strap down into the buckle.

Caitlyn slipped two fingers under the leather. It was snug, but there was plenty of space for her to breathe.

“Yes,” she breathed out.

The feeling was indescribable. Warmth, comfort. Like she was being held. Like she had been vulnerable and naked up until now. But there was also a rush of excitement. The thrill of wearing something with such an obvious meaning.

It did mean that, didn’t it? Caitlyn looked up at Jinx.

Jinx knelt down so that they were level with each other. She reached up and brushed a lock of hair out of Caitlyn’s face, and Caitlyn instinctually leaned into the touch.

“Does this help?” Jinx asked quietly, as if speaking too loud would hurt her.

“It does. I think it does,” Caitlyn murmured, pressing her face against her palm. “No one has ever touched me like this but you.”

She hadn’t meant to say it, but she didn’t want to take it back either. There was a sparkle in Jinx’s eyes, and the corners of her lips turned upwards just a bit.

“Is this what you want?”

Caitlyn pondered the question. She wanted to say yes, but she wasn’t entirely sure what “this” was. Someone needed to define it, and it seemed like it was up to her.

“I’ll be your guard dog,” she said, face hot. She held Jinx’s wrist and pressed her face into her palm again before pushing the girl’s hand up into her hair. “This is all I need. Is that alright?”

Caitlyn wished she knew what was going on in Jinx’s mind. She was staring at Caitlyn in awe, but she could not determine what that meant.

“I can do this,” she replied, curling her fingers and lightly scratching the crown of Caitlyn’s head.

Caitlyn hummed in pleasure at the feeling, closing her eyes and tilting her head a little.

“Thank you.”

Jinx only nodded as she continued to scratch, hand dropping to the sensitive spot behind Caitlyn’s ear, then caressing her jaw and scratching the underside of her chin.

Caitlyn held her head high as they walked back to the apartment, exiting the tunnels and striding through the streets just a few steps behind Jinx, following her like a shadow. Anyone who dared to give the younger girl a dirty look got an even dirtier look from Caitlyn. They shied away from the two girls and corrected their faces, showing fear instead of disdain.

That night, Caitlyn only removed the collar to shower, not wanting to ruin the craftsmanship by getting it soaking wet. She took it back to her room and, after she dressed, sat down at her workbench with a bottle of leather conditioner and cloth. Reverently, she wiped down the collar and ensured that the metal hardware was properly shined before returning it to her neck, revelling in the feeling.

Chapter Text

With the collar, Caitlyn carried herself differently. It wasn’t quite confidence, but she stood straighter, puffed out her chest, and held her head high, proudly displaying the band of leather secured around her neck. If people gave her judgemental looks, she didn’t pay them any mind. Their opinions didn’t matter to her. The only person she cared about was Jinx.

The days flew by at an alarming speed. The cycle of night and day barely touched the Lanes, where everything was cast in a perpetual sickly neon glow. It got brighter in the morning and darker in the evening, but Zaun itself never woke up or went to sleep. It just carried on like a twisted machine, churning out filth and belching smoke.

Caitlyn had come to enjoy people-watching from the window in their apartment. It taught her a lot about Zaun without having to go down into the streets herself. She rarely went out without Jinx—only to meet with Sevika for combat training. It wasn’t that she couldn’t leave—Jinx had even given her permission to roam freely when they weren’t working—but Caitlyn didn’t see the point. She’d follow Jinx whenever it was appropriate and spent the rest of her time relaxing at home.

Home. She had started to call it that. Caitlyn was the first to say it, the word absentmindedly slipping from her lips as they were leaving Jinx’s workshop one evening.

“Let’s head home, then,” she had said, not even considering what it meant to say that.

She realized what she had said almost immediately, but she didn’t try to correct herself. She waited patiently for Jinx to respond, trying to read the girl’s face as she processed the words. In the end, Jinx hadn’t reacted at all. At least, not negatively.

“Yeah, let’s go home,” had been her reply. She smiled at Caitlyn, and  it felt right.

This was home. Not one she would have chosen for herself, but she and Jinx were both making it their own. Bits and pieces of the workshop had made their way up into the penthouse, giving it that scrappy, uniquely “Jinx” feeling. Caitlyn made occasional requests for items and found that they would usually appear the next day. A vanity, a coffee maker, a reading chair. No consistent style between them, but she cared for function, not form.

Caitlyn didn’t spy, but she noticed Jinx cleaning out her room. She had spent some time one afternoon shoving things into a sack: old drawings, toys, what appeared to be failed childhood projects. When Caitlyn passed by the open door later, she saw a room a bit more befitting of a young woman, though Jinx had merely replaced her juvenile decor with her current style of extravagant expression and hauled up a bigger desk for her to tinker at, along with a giant corkboard on the wall that she could tack her plans to.

It was nice. Comfortable, even. She liked it.

Although many of her positive associations with the space could be attributed to the treatment she was now receiving.

Negotiating things was awkward, to say the least. Jinx had asked Caitlyn what she expected from her, and Caitlyn had said that what she was already doing was basically enough. It was embarrassing to say it so explicitly, but she confessed that she liked the gentle petting and the praise and the feeling of belonging. She had blushed so hard and so hot that she thought her face was going to melt, but Jinx just nodded along, her own cheeks tinted pink.

As humiliating as it was to discuss, they found that performing the necessary acts felt much more natural. After all, Jinx had already been doing this without Caitlyn asking for it. Jinx treated her like a beloved pet dog (one capable of human speech, that is), and Caitlyn leaned all the way into it.

The night before the memorial, Jinx called her into the living room as she had done for the past couple nights since she had gifted her the collar. Caitlyn came forth and obediently complied when Jinx told her to sit. She knelt before Jinx and did her best to keep her lips from curving too far upwards, as she didn’t want to appear too eager for what she knew was coming.

Jinx had gotten even better at this form of roleplay in the few days it had been going on. She smiled at Caitlyn and reached down, ruffling her hair a little.

“How’s training with Sevika?”

“Good.”

“Is she really teaching you or is she just beating the shit out of you?”

“I’m really learning, actually. She’s a shockingly good teacher.”

“That’s good.” Jinx leaned forward to cup her face with one hand. “Good girl.”

Caitlyn felt a fluttering, swooping feeling in her stomach as she leaned into the touch, nuzzling against Jinx’s palm. Jinx stroked her cheek with her thumb, then slid her hand down to scratch behind Caitlyn’s ear before withdrawing her hand. Caitlyn almost whined at the loss of contact, but she swallowed the sound. Jinx was doing this for her, not the other way around. She didn’t need to act any stranger than she already was.

Jinx grew unusually serious and looked away, staring out the window.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

Caitlyn shifted slightly and fidgeted with the fabric of her pants.

“Yes?” It came out sounding more like a question than she had wanted it to. “I mean, there’s not really a choice.”

“There’s always a choice,” Jinx muttered, drawing her knees to her chest. “I don’t want you to get hurt. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to.”

“I won’t let you go alone!” Caitlyn barked, surprising herself with her own fervor. “What kind of guard dog would I be if I didn’t guard you?”

Jinx sighed and lowered one of her hands, knuckles brushing against Caitlyn’s cheek. She lifted it and carded her fingers through Caitlyn’s hair—so soft, having just been washed and dried—and gently scratched her scalp.

“I just don’t want you to freeze up and get caught off guard.”

“I won’t.”

Jinx made eye contact with her.

“Are you sure?”

Caitlyn swallowed, feeling how the collar sat snug around her neck. She closed her eyes as Jinx continued to scratch her head and smiled.

“I won’t.” She paused, and spoke quietly and shyly.  “This has really helped, I promise.”

And it had. Caitlyn had heard less and less of her mother’s voice and been able to largely ignore it when it did decide to invade her mind. She felt less anxious, less itchy. Sometimes the paresthesia would flare up, but it was never as all-consuming as it was before. She even felt more in control of herself. It was because she had purpose and direction now, and a constant, physical reminder. She had a job to do. She had someone she cared about, who cared about her.

In moments like this, Caitlyn felt like she and Jinx were the only people in the entire world. Nothing else mattered outside of the connection between them.

Was it the healthiest coping mechanism? No. She was aware of this. But it worked . It made living bearable. After everything she had been through—everything that they had both been through—did they not deserve some reprieve from it all? Neither of them had asked for this. Neither of them would have chosen it either. They should have died.

But they were alive. Together. That had to mean something. That had to be something worth clinging to.

X

Caitlyn and Jinx left the apartment before the sun was up. They stopped by The Last Drop to check in with the others before leaving, and Jinx went down into the storeroom to grab something. She quickly returned with a full-face gas mask, offering it to Caitlyn.

“I know you don’t want anyone up there to know you’re alive, so I thought this would help. The lenses are adjustable, so if you can’t see through them, they unlock and slide back.” Jinx demonstrated, pressing a small lever on the side of the mask that made the right lens retract into the mask. “I cleaned them, though, so you should be able to see through it just fine.”

Caitlyn nodded and took the mask, pulling it over her head to check the fit. She had to tighten a few straps, but it sat snugly on her face and the lenses were indeed clean enough for her to aim through.

“Thanks. I think this will do just fine.”

She left the mask clipped to her belt until they reached the upper levels of the Promenade where they were more likely to be seen by topsiders. As they walked, Caitlyn’s stomach turned. Not because she was nervous, but because she wasn’t sure how she felt about bearing witness to what was essentially her own funeral. She had tried to think of it as just a job and nothing more, but the undeniable truth of the situation wouldn’t leave her alone.

They went through the tunnels with Sevika’s group, but split ways once they crossed the Pilt. Sevika was heading closer to the Academy, while Jinx and Caitlyn were going to exit the sewers and watch the memorial service from above. It was taking place in the same amphitheatre that was utilized for the main ceremonies on Progress Day, which meant there were tall windows that allowed them to see in from any angle they chose. Caitlyn suggested a tall building across the street, so that they would be able to monitor both the ceremony and the comings and goings outside.

“Y’know, I’d suggest sneaking in on the rafters, but that doesn’t really seem like your style,” said Jinx as they scaled the outside of the building.

“You? In the rafters? With that thing slung over your shoulder?”

“I’ve climbed crazier things with ol’ Pow-Pow here.”

Jinx patted the rear of the gun, smirking. Caitlyn heaved herself over the edge of the roof and turned around, extending a hand to help Jinx up.

“Your knack for stealth doesn’t suit the ostentatious nature of your chosen weapons. Why crawl through the rafters if you’re just going to fire up that monster?”

Jinx grabbed her hand, and Caitlyn lifted her and her child-sized gun with little effort. It was either shimmer strength, or her training with Sevika was paying off.

“It’s about presentation, Caity! And anticipation. Sure, you can go in guns a’ blazin’, but isn’t it even more shocking if the explosion is coming from where they least expect it? Besides, I gotta be able to get away after I cause chaos. Slip into the shadows and disappear.”

Jinx gesticulated wildly as she said this and Caitlyn was worried she was going to draw attention to them. She appeared so careless, yet Caitlyn knew she was incredibly clever. She hadn’t decided yet if it was an act that Jinx put on, or if she was just naturally lucky. Ironic, given her name.

It was true, though. Despite her bravado, Jinx was expertly stealthy.

“I’d prefer to stay in them the whole time,” said Caitlyn, unfolding Corvus.

Jinx patted her shoulder. “And that’s why you’re my guardian angel. Silent but deadly.”

The comment reminded Caitlyn to fish the silencer out of the pouch on her hip and attach it to the muzzle of the gun. If she needed to fire, she didn’t want to immediately give away their position with the sound.

They set up towards the edge of the roof, behind a small lip that would keep them mostly concealed. Caitlyn propped up Corvus on the edge so that she could sit comfortably while looking down the scope. Jinx reached into a pouch that hung around Caitlyn’s waist and retrieved a collapsible spyglass that she didn’t know she was carrying.

“Did you sneak that in before we left?”

“What? You want me to carry more shit on top of Pow-Pow?” Jinx gave her gun a pat on its rear.

Caitlyn rolled her eyes and got into position, peering through the scope to get a good look at the memorial. The amphitheatre was mostly full, but there still were a few stragglers still filtering in. From this angle, she could see her mother waiting in the wings, talking to some of the staff. Her breath caught in her throat. This was the first time she had seen Cassandra in real life since—

Caitlyn closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. She tilted her gun to the right, scanning over the crowd. Nothing seemed out of place.

She lifted her head from the scope to look at the street immediately below them and was struck by the appearance of another familiar face—Vi. The former convict was sitting by a fountain just down the street from the amphitheatre, nursing a bottle of some nebulous alcohol and looking utterly despondent. It puzzled Caitlyn for a moment, and then she realized.

“She thinks I’m dead,” Caitlyn whispered.

“Who? Oh, I see her.” Jinx swung her spyglass towards her sister. “I mean, everyone here thinks you’re dead.”

That sick feeling churned in Caitlyn’s stomach yet again. It didn’t make sense. Why would Vi care? Wasn’t she the one who had set them up at the brothel?

“Why would she? I haven’t exactly been hiding in the Lanes.”

“Vi’s holed up with the boy savior and his gaggle of goons. They don’t exactly mingle with the general populace.”

Caitlyn frowned. Yes, Vi was with the Firelights, but she could have sworn that she was the one who had tipped off Jayce and the enforcers. Babette had told Vi, and Vi had told Jayce—right? Why else would they have all been there at the same time? Though, hadn’t they restrained Vi too? Caitlyn’s head started to hurt from trying to make sense of it all.

Vi looked bad. There were bags under her eyes, which were red and raw from crying. Caitlyn had known the girl had a fondness for her, but she didn’t realize it was this intense. Perhaps she hadn’t been involved with Jayce and the others after all. Everything was unrelated and Caitlyn had jumped to conclusions. She had been wrong.

“Should we tell her?” Caitlyn asked softly.

Jinx didn’t respond right away. She was chewing on her lower lip and staring at her sister, eyes narrowed. Then her expression reset and she said, “What? And give up our position? We’re on the job, pup. Stay focused.”

Caitlyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath to re-center herself. She leaned down, resting her cheek against the butt of the rifle and looking down the scope once more, doing her best to put the distraught woman by the fountain out of her mind.

The memorial began with a performance from a local chorus, followed by an opening statement from Mel, who spoke of the tragic losses they had suffered but urged the people to remain steadfast in their grief. She promised that the responsible parties would be brought to justice, and that the cities would return to a state of peace.

Caitlyn highly doubted that. She could tell that this was a form of posturing. Perhaps there was dissent among the Council members. Mel was making a statement in an effort to get the general public on her side.

There was a cavalcade of other speakers. The memorial was primarily for Caitlyn, but it was also honoring the many other lives lost during Jinx’s assault on the Council building. Meved’s name was mentioned a few times. Caitlyn felt ill knowing that he was being mourned alongside her, painted as the hero who had tried to “save” her, when in reality his treatment was slowly killing her. She would have died locked in that cell if not for Jinx. These people shouldn’t be mourning him. They should be celebrating his death.

It was a curious thing, to behold one’s own funeral—especially as it was being made into a public spectacle. Caitlyn was never so widely beloved in life. Most of these people wouldn’t have recognized her on the street. Or maybe they would have, but they wouldn’t have given a shit about her outside of her name. As she scanned the crowd, she realized that, outside of Vi, there wasn’t really anyone she could look for. No childhood friends, no close confidants. If she tried, maybe she could pick out a few of her past hookups, but she didn’t remember most of their faces. It had been dark, after all, and her eyes had been elsewhere when they were together. She recalled bodies, not faces.

None of these people truly cared about her. Perhaps they cared that her mother was sad, but even then they were falling for a false projection. The Piltovan masses were so easily swayed by their leaders, ready and willing to prostrate before them and play along with their façade. This entire memorial was a performance on all parts. Her mother was performing a lie, and everyone else was performing grief for someone they never truly knew.

Except Vi. Vi never went into the amphitheatre. She could have. There was no one ticketing the event or stopping people from entering. But she stayed outside all the same, sitting with her back to the amphitheatre, turning to look inside only occasionally. Grieving for someone who wasn’t dead. The only person who really cared.

Caitlyn’s annoyance with the whole charade grew with each half-assed eulogy comprised of generic statements that meant nothing or comments about her that were entirely unfounded and untrue. Not to mention that the same speakers were bemoaning the loss of the man who medically tortured her.

It was an interesting thought experiment, to envision your own funeral. What would people say? Who would be upset? How would they speak about you after you were gone?

For Caitlyn, it was becoming infuriating. All her life she had felt masked and misrepresented, and the pageantry continued even after her alleged “death”. There was no honesty to be found here.

Caitlyn was beginning to grow restless by the time her mother took to the stage, plagued by an itch she could not properly scratch. She sat up, rolled her shoulders, and cracked her knuckles before sinking back into her firing position. Jinx, shockingly, had stayed still and silent for quite a while. Caitlyn couldn’t tell if she was actually paying attention to the memorial service or not.

Before she returned to the scope, Caitlyn gave the amphitheatre and the streets below a once over with her naked eyes. Vi was still sitting by the fountain drawing herself in liquor. The crowd was staring at her mother, who was saying something Caitlyn couldn’t bring herself to listen to. For once, Cassandra’s words were muffled in her ears.

Above the crowd, in the rafters that Jinx had wanted to infiltrate herself, Caitlyn spotted something that wasn’t there before.

Someone, that is, if she deigned to classify it as a person. It was very obviously one of Smeech’s men, a man so decked out in spindly chemtech prosthetics that he looked like an insect. He had more limbs than he needed and he was using all of them to mechanically but silently crawl through the rafters towards the stage.

Caitlyn elbowed Jinx and took up her gun like a soldier, tracking the Zaunite thug in the sight of her scope. He was quick and precise, and before she had decided what to do he was perched over the stage. Directly over Cassandra. Her mother.

“Jinx,” Caitlyn said, her voice sharp and strained.

“Do not shoot.”

Jinx put her hand on the barrel of her rifle and pushed it down slightly.

“What do you mean? He’s going to—”

“Do not fucking shoot! We’re only supposed to make a scene after something happens.”

“After he kills my mother!?”

“Cait, she fucking shot you!”

Caitlyn ripped her gaze away from the assassin to stare at Jinx, then looked down at her mother, then up at the insectoid Zaunite clinging to the rafters. He was starting to lower himself, hanging tight below the metal beam he was clinging to.

“ Jinx, ” Caitlyn pleaded.

Jinx stared at the assassin, brows knit tightly. Her eyes darted to Caitlyn, and then she lifted her hand from the barrel.

That was all the permission Caitlyn needed.

The bullet left the rifle with a soft thoomp sound, the silencer absorbing most of the noise generated by the shot. It traveled through the air and found a home inside the assassin’s skull. This was the first time Caitlyn had actually killed anyone with a gun, and it would have terrified her if she hadn’t spent the past week imagining her loved ones as shooting range targets and filling them with lead. Still, there was a weight to the shot that she hadn’t felt before. She had made herself judge, jury, and executioner. Justice was hers to deliver.

She didn’t have time to ruminate on the man’s death, though, as she watched his body shudder and go limp and realized that he was going to fall directly on top of her mother. She silently cursed herself for not thinking this through, but a jolt of shimmer brought a strangely peaceful clarity as the world around her slowed down. She slammed the lever on the rifle, took aim, and fired a warning shot at the podium in front of her mother.

The podium (no doubt carved from some expensive wood that she had now utterly ruined) exploded into splinters that floated away from the point of impact as if gravity had ceased to work. Seeing the world on shimmer was strangely euphoric. If this is what it felt like to use the drug in a normal capacity, Caitlyn could understand why people got addicted to it.

The world came back up to speed and Cassandra leapt backwards from the destroyed podium just in time for Smeech’s assassin to land on top of the debris in a mangled heap of flesh and metal. Her mother did not scream, but her eyes went wide in terror and for a second Caitlyn saw her make the exact same expression she had when Cassandra had fired on her. Fear and disgust.

Caitlyn dropped Corvus and scrambled backwards, clamping a hand over her mouth as she grew violently nauseous. Her mother looked at that chemtech monstrosity in the same way she had looked at her own daughter. Was that what she saw when she looked at her now? Is that what she looked like to other people?

Jinx, who had been ready to leap over the edge of the rooftop and join the unfolding chaos, rushed to Caitlyn’s side and held the back of her head.

“Cait? Are you okay? C’mon, Cait, we got work to do. You promised.”

Caitlyn had expected her to get upset, to be frustrated with her for freezing up, but Jinx was so kind and gentle. She kept brushing her hand over Caitlyn’s face, desperately trying to find a way to stop this episode before it started. Her hand slipped down to tug on the collar around Caitlyn’s neck.

“Come back to me, Caity. C’mon. Please! We gotta go.”

The feeling of the leather pulled taut against her skin was enough to ground her and bring her back to herself. Caitlyn gasped and lunged forward, grabbing Corvus and forcing herself onto her feet. She clipped the shoulder strap around herself and looked at Jinx.

“Go. Let’s go,” she said breathlessly, waving the gun in a motion urging Jinx to move.

Jinx gave her a once over, concern still evident in her eyes, but she nodded, turned, and leapt off of the roof.

Caitlyn grabbed the gas mask from her belt and pulled it over her face before she rushed up to the edge of the roof. She flicked down the scope and used the iron sights to aim, tracking Jinx while giving herself a wider view of the situation. Enforcers had leapt into action the moment the assassin had hit the ground. Her mother was gone, likely whisked away for her own protection. The crowd was in total disarray, with people running in every direction, unsure of where they should be fleeing to.

BOOM!

Everything stopped and turned to face the sound of an explosion coming from the direction of the Academy, a small cloud of smoke rising in the distance. Then, they all turned and came to the consensus that they should be running in the opposite direction. Like a stampede, they flooded the streets, descending into the lower levels of the city.

Caitlyn heard Jinx’s laughter rising up from further down the street and she returned to tracking her charge, who was now tossing grenades every which way. They were paint bombs, but the blasts were still enough to knock people off their feet. Jinx’s appearance caused the majority of the enforcers to turn and pursue her instead of running off to investigate the explosion. Caitlyn clicked her tongue, disappointed in how easily her former coworkers fell for the obvious distraction.

Jinx peeled away from the fleeing crowds, ducking into an alleyway to take a path less trodden down to the Pilt. The plan was to lead the enforcers as far away from the actual chaos as possible, then slip into the tunnels and escape back to Zaun. Jinx would run the streets, and Caitlyn would follow on the rooftops to make sure no one got the drop on her.

As Jinx rounded the corner, Caitlyn took off running as well. She effortlessly leapt over the alley that Jinx was running down and started to follow her winding path of destruction. Jinx’s bombs and chompers were enough to keep the enforcers from catching her as she led them through the tight twists and turns, but when she popped back out onto an open street, Caitlyn stepped up to the plate and started laying down cover fire.

Well, it was more precise than that. Three enforcers ran out to block Jinx’s path and Caitlyn fired three perfectly precise shots, hitting one of them in the arm (he was holding a pistol) and the other two in the leg. She hadn’t been told not to kill anyone, but she hadn’t been instructed to use lethal force either. Caitlyn couldn’t rationalize killing strangers for no reason unless it truly seemed like they were about to kill Jinx, so she shot to disarm and disable rather than to kill. For the most part, she aimed for hands, arms, feet, and thighs, but one unlucky enforcer put himself in an awkward position where her best shot was his knee. The man would never walk again, and Caitlyn was surprised to find that she didn’t really care.

While Caitlyn tried to keep the carnage to a minimum, Jinx ramped it up as much as possible. Every now and then, she would start to wind up Pow-Pow, stop in her tracks, spin on her heel, and unload a barrage of bullets into the enforcers chasing her. Caitlyn did not try to count how many fell to the minigun, as they would certainly not be getting back up.

The closer they got to the Pilt, the more enforcers they encountered. A few of them had started to notice that someone was following on the rooftops, which made Caitlyn’s job harder as she was now drawing fire as well. Luckily for her, she could react and move faster than they could ever dream of. The shimmer in her fired up on its own, instinct taking over as time slowed and she weaved through projectiles like she was running an obstacle course. She noticed that Jinx was moving slower too, but every now and then she would come up to speed to dodge something, using her shimmer in a discriminate manner to throw off her pursuers.

Jinx rounded a corner, cutting onto a street at the same time Caitlyn was jumping over it. She ran headfirst into an enforcer coming from the opposite direction. Caitlyn had very little time to react. She let go of Corvus, letting the rifle hang from the strap around her chest, and drew the pistol that was strapped to her thigh. She had never been great with handguns, but she could absolutely make a clean hit at close range. She rolled in midair, firing two shots at the enforcer—one into each shoulder. The enforcer crumpled like a ragdoll, and Jinx jumped over them and kept running like nothing had happened.

Too many of the enforcers were coming up onto the rooftops. Caitlyn was wasting too much energy on dodging bullets and not enough on protecting Jinx. They were nearly to the Pilt and the exit into the tunnels that they would be taking, so Caitlyn dropped down into the streets to run alongside her charge. She collapsed Corvus, pulling the folded rifle onto her back, and stuck to using her pistol to gun down opponents in close range.

“Almost there! This is gonna be gross,” said Jinx, rounding another corner as she dodged a bola thrown by one of the enforcers.

The duo ducked into an alleyway, Jinx threw open a sewer pipe, and they both jumped in, disappearing into the tunnels below.

X

TERROR STRIKES AGAIN!!! KIRAMMAN MEMORIAL SERVICE “JINXED” BY UNDERCITY ASSASSINS

COUNCILLOR KIRAMMAN AND GENERAL MEDARDA CALL FOR CITYWIDE MANHUNT TO CAPTURE THE LOOSE CANNON

WHO IS “THE CROW”? NOTORIOUS TERRORIST JINX ACCOMPANIED BY MYSTERIOUS ACCOMPLICE

UNDERCITY TERRORISTS STEAL UNRELEASED HEXTECH TOOLS FROM HOUSE TALIS

COUNCIL APPROVAL RATINGS PLUMMET TO HERETOFORE UNSEEN LOWS

Caitlyn had asked to have The Piltover Herald delivered to the apartment. Most Zaunites didn’t care about what went on topside, but she found it to be useful information. Silco apparently agreed with her, because she often saw him reading the Piltovan paper as well.

She and Jinx had escaped successfully and returned home entirely unharmed. Their first diversion job was a resounding success. Too much of a success, perhaps, as the enforcers had missed Smeech entirely and pinned the whole thing on Jinx instead. Caitlyn scoffed at the news coverage. How could they pin the theft of the Atlas gauntlets on her when she clearly wasn’t carrying them during the chase?

That was the trouble though—Smeech had succeeded in stealing a piece of hextech. Caitlyn knew what it was, too, having seen the massive gauntlets in Jayce’s lab. They were built for mining in the fissures, ironically. Now, they would become Zaunite weapons. Silco was a bit irritated by this, but not much. Smeech could have the gauntlets. Jinx had already weaponized hextech for him. As long as no one else got a leg up, they would still be on top.

The attention drawn to Jinx (and Caitlyn) meant laying low for a while. They kept off the streets, sticking to the apartment and having food brought in by lower level thugs. Sometimes Jinx would slip away to her workshop, but Caitlyn mostly stayed in. Jinx never stopped moving, but she needed the rest. Not physically, but mentally. She didn’t want to think about her mother, or about Vi, but she felt like she had to. As she did with everything, she had to pick apart the situation, analyze all the clues, and try to find a solution. She had always been a detective, and everything was a case.

Except there was no solution to be found. Caitlyn was conflicted. She hated her mother for what she had done, but she was her mother, the woman who had raised her, and that still meant something despite it all. There had been no hesitation when she had spotted Smeech’s man in the rafters—she needed to protect her.

Vi was even more complex. Caitlyn could barely even begin to untie the knot of thoughts in her head when she thought of the pink-haired girl.

Caitlyn felt like she was going to have another episode. She didn’t, though, because the day after the mission, Jinx had disappeared and not said where she was going. It worried Caitlyn, but she came back a few hours later and presented a small gift to her. It was a wooden box, inside which were supplies for rolling cigarettes, a pipe, a lighter, and a jar filled with some kind of flower.

“My, uh… Vander, my dad before… He used to smoke quite a bit. He had a lot of chronic pain from working in the mines, and there’s this stuff that a lot of old folks used to smoke as sort of a ‘cure-all’. Street name’s ‘fade’, but it’s not like, a hard drug or anything. More medicinal. They cooked up strains without any psychoactive effects, so it just sort of… mellows you out?” Jinx sat the box down on the sill beneath the window and pulled out the pipe. “Anyways, I’ve tried it a few times in the past, and I asked Sevika for some the other day to see if it still worked with… all this.” She gestured at herself, then pointed at her eyes. “And it does. It’s very relaxing.”

Caitlyn watched as Jinx pulled out the accouterments. She tore up the buds and placed some of them into a grinder, then rolled it into one of the wrapping papers. It was a bit messy, but it came out alright. She lit the end, pushed open one of the window panes, inhaled, and then exhaled out into the open air. Caitlyn caught a whiff of the smoke. It was strong and earthy, and it reminded her of running through the woods during shooting competitions.

Jinx stared at the lit cigarette in her hand.

“I tried really hard to find something that might help you. I’m just not that great of an alchemist, and I think what you’d really need is some kind of meds totally made from scratch. I’m not confident enough to not fuck that up, so I went looking for alternatives.” She held it out to Caitlyn. “I think this might work.”

Caitlyn stared at the cigarette, looking at the dimly glowing lit end and the thin trail of smoke wafting off it and drifting out into the night. She took it from Jinx, put it to her lips, and sucked. It wasn’t her first time smoking. There was a girl she had hooked up with a few times who had gotten her to try it. She had been ashamed to admit how much she enjoyed it, but she forced herself to quit before it became a habit. Her mother wouldn’t approve.

The smoke tasted like it smelled. She followed Jinx’s example and exhaled out the window, not wanting to stink up the apartment. Not long after, she started to feel a calm wash over her. It was gentle and floaty, and it made all the tension leave her body. She took another hit before passing it back to Jinx.

“It feels good,” said Caitlyn. “I feel like I can just… be.”

Silence. Stillness. No cruel voices, no itching, no pins and needles. For the first time in months, Caitlyn was completely at peace.

Jinx took another drag and nudged the box towards Caitlyn with her knuckles.

“You can have it,” she said as she let out a puff of smoke. “I don’t need it. Hopefully it makes you feel… better.”

Caitlyn wanted to say something. She wanted to do something. She stared at Jinx, who was not looking at her. Her eyes roamed over the curve of her cheekbone, down her jaw, tracing the tendons in her neck. She realized she wanted to kiss her so badly, and not in a lustful way. She wanted to give her a gentle kiss to thank her for being so considerate, for continuing to think of ways to help Caitlyn after all this time. Caitlyn herself had almost given up. The collar was enough for her, even if it wasn’t perfect. It kept her grounded.

But this, this “fade”. It really helped.

“Cait, I—why are you crying?”

Caitlyn blinked, suddenly realizing that her eyes were wet, and a teardrop slid down her cheek.

“I… Sorry, I’m just feeling a little emotional.” She wiped away the tears. “I just wanted to say thank you. That’s all.”

Jinx smiled softly and reached up to rub her cheek.

“It’s nothing, pup. Really. It’s the least I can do.”

It wasn’t nothing. It was everything. Caitlyn wanted to tell her that, but the words were stuck, forming a lump that she couldn’t swallow that kept her from speaking. Jinx handed her the cigarette, and she took another hit, savoring not only the taste but the knowledge that Jinx’s lips had also been wrapped around it just moments before.

Jinx looked like she wanted to say something else, too. Caitlyn wished she would, because maybe it would free the words trapped in her throat.

But Caitlyn simply passed the cigarette back to her and Jinx took one final drag, burning it down to the filter. Caitlyn watched the glow intensify and fade, then go out completely as Jinx tapped it on the edge of the window. Ash fell into the street below. Jinx closed the window, and the moment was over.

Chapter Text

Vi awoke with a throbbing ache in her head and a dryness that pervaded her entire being. She felt as if all the water had been drained out of her, making a dehydrated husk of herself. Her joints ached. Her stomach turned. With great effort, she rolled over, leaning off the side of the bed and grabbing the nearby trash can to dry heave into. She coughed up nothing but spit and a few bits of what little food she had eaten yesterday before releasing the can and slumping over, arm dangling off the bed, knuckles brushing against the floor.

Sunlight filtered in through the shabby curtains that had been nailed over the window. Ekko had given her a private room in the Firelights’ hideout, insisting that she deserved it after everything she had been through. Maybe he was right, and she had been excited to have her own space at first, but it was starting to feel like a new kind of prison cell—one of her own making.

Vi didn’t need a clock to know that she was running late. The briefing was most certainly well underway by now, so there was no point in rushing. With all the energy of a dying slug, she dragged herself out of bed. It was still worth going, if only because she could refill her canteen with water on the way there.

She was still wearing her clothes from the day before and decided to stay in them, not seeing the point in changing. Everyone was well aware that she was a mess, and she didn’t have the energy to try and disprove them.

After a quick stop at the faucet in the courtyard, Vi made her way up the tree into the large room that the Firelights used for meetings. She did her best to slip in the back without drawing too much attention to herself, but she got a few judgemental looks that inevitably drew Ekko’s ire from the front of the room. He didn’t say anything, but his brow was set low as he cast her a withering glance before continuing to speak.

“Contrary to what topside thinks, Silco’s gang weren’t actually part of the robbery. Smeech was the one stealing shit. As far as we can tell, Silco sent a crew to stop them, and Jinx was there to make a scene.”

“Which she did successfully,” said Scar. “Now the Council is pinning everything on her.”

At the mention of the Council, Vi scanned the room to find that Heimerdinger was notably absent from this gathering. She wondered if he knew it was happening or not.

“Jinx didn’t steal anything,” Ekko continued. “And Sevika and her crew weren’t able to stop Smeech’s guys from getting away with the goods. They scuffled in the tunnels but the robo-rat got away. Luckily for us, we were able to tail them back to their hideout. Security is pretty lax and Smeech is low on men, so it should be an easy job.”

Vi looked over the plans pinned to the board behind him. Hand-drawn maps, blueprints, sketches. They were going to steal from Smeech what he had stolen from Piltover. From Jayce Talis. The big score looked to be a set of giant hextech gauntlets that reminded her of the mining gauntlets she was using to bolster her fists nowadays. She briefly entertained the havoc she could wreak if she got her hands on those.

Ekko continued to talk, outlining the details of the operation. Interested parties could volunteer to help, but they were also going to pick out a few specialized folks for certain tasks. They needed lockpickers, machinists, spotters, muscle, and so on. A diverse team. Ekko looked at Vi as he spoke, signaling to her that he wanted her to be involved in this. After all, she had been there when it had gone down.

“Lastly, there’s the new player.”

Ekko picked up a piece of paper from the table beside him and pinned it over the plans on the board. It was a rough sketch of a person dressed in a long, black coat, wearing a gas mask and holding a gun.

“Pilties are calling them ‘The Crow’, but people in the Lanes have taken to calling them ‘Jinx’s Guard Dog’. Nobody knows much about ‘em. Big dude, intimidating. Follows Jinx like a shadow and doesn’t seem to have any job other than to protect her. We haven’t been able to get much intel on ‘em. They’re both pretty slippery.” Ekko folded his arms over his chest. “No action to take on that, but the Guard Dog was at the memorial, so it’s worth mentioning. Keep an eye out for ‘em.”

Vi stared at the sketch. She had been there, at the memorial, but she hadn’t seen this person. She’d seen Jinx when everything went to shit, of course, but not them.

Ekko dismissed everyone. Vi got up to filter out with the rest of the crew, but he got to her before she could disappear in the crowd.

“Hey,” he said, squeezing her shoulder a little too tightly. “Let’s talk.”

Ekko was a good kid. A good man, now. He had grown so much since she last saw him, making him nearly unrecognizable. It was hard for Vi to draw the connection between this hardened activist and the tiny child that used to cling to her little sister—another person who had changed so much that she could barely conceive the person she was now.

But Vi had been there when Benzo died. She knew why he was like this.

Being in prison for seven years had warped her perception of time. When she was thrown into Stillwater, it was like her world had come to a stop, and it felt like everything outside should have stopped too. The world had moved on without her, though, growing and changing and developing into something new and unfamiliar and, in so many unexpected ways, hostile.

Caitlyn had been a source of comfort amongst the unbearable unfamiliarity. And now she was gone.

Jinx had killed her.

Ekko stopped walking and Vi, who had started to dissociate, ran straight into his back. He looked over his shoulder at her. His gaze wasn’t angry or disapproving—just somber. He opened the door to his room and motioned for her to step inside.

The room was undeniably his. As much as Vi felt she didn’t know him anymore, she did know that it was on brand for him to reside in a den of machinery, diagrams, and art. Just like Powder.

Vi took a long swig from her canteen and wiped her mouth afterwards. She stared at Ekko, who was leaning against his workbench, waiting for him to break the silence.

“You’re…” he started, then stopped. “I’m sorry about what happened to Caitlyn. Can’t say I’m surprised, but…”

Vi shook her head slightly and looked away. Ekko had told her about the body count Jinx had built up over the years. How so many of his friends had met their end after confronting her. She hadn’t wanted to believe that her beloved baby sister had transformed into such a monster, but she was starting to see it now.

“For seven years, all I thought about was her. Powder,” she said, her voice low and hoarse. “I had to get out, because I had to get back to her. I had to take care of her. I had to apologize to her. And now…” She raised the canteen and waved it uselessly. “I don’t know. I was already so lost when I got out, and it’s just getting worse and worse.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your—”

“It is,” he said sternly. “If it wasn’t for me, none of it would have—”

“ Don’t say that!” she shouted, pointing a finger at him. “You were just a kid. I should’ve known better.”

Pity leaked into his expression.

“Vi… You were a kid, too.”

She shook her head, ignoring him and his empathy.

“I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore!” She threw her hands in the air before letting them fall to her sides. “There’s no one left. It’s just me.”

Ekko’s face hardened. He scowled at her and pushed off of the workbench, stomping towards her.

“There are people left, Vi. There are so many of them. They’re all around you!” He placed a hand over his chest. “I’ve spent seven years building up this community to help them. When you came back, I thought…” He stepped back, anger fading into disappointment. “I thought… Vi, I looked up to you so much when we were little. When I started the Firelights, I tried to act like you. There have been so many days when things were going wrong, and it was all too much, and I stopped to ask myself: ‘What would Vi do if she were here?’ And that’s what kept me going.”

Vi didn’t have a response to that. She recognized that she was being selfish, but after everything she had been through, didn’t she have the right to be? Seven years, stolen from her. The remains of a childhood she never got to have to begin with, stolen from her. Shoved in a box, beaten and isolated. Cut off from the outside world. No one even knew she was there.

“I know, Ekko, I know. And I’m honored that you think of me like that, but… that’s not me anymore.”

Ekko stepped closer to her. Vi braced herself for an angry retort, or even a not-so-playful shove, but nothing happened. When she looked up, he was staring at her with a softness in his eyes.

“Then who are you?”

The question left his lips and hung in the air, cast over Vi like a blanket. It draped over her shoulders and weighed her down, but not as though it was a burden. Rather, it came from a place of comfort. Ekko wasn’t asking to spite her, but because he wanted to understand where she was at.

Vi reached up, placing her own hand on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, taking the question and turning it over in her mind. She was a broken woman. She was a girl displaced from her own time. She was in mourning, both over the person her sister used to be and the person her sister had murdered. She was wallowing in her depression, useless to those around her. More of a hindrance than a help. People kept looking at her with either pity or scorn in their eyes, and she was sick of it.

She should be angry, she decided. She should stand up and do something about it. Vi exhaled through grit teeth.

“I’m pissed,” she said. “And I want to do something about it.”

Ekko nodded solemnly.

“Then stand up and put that anger to work. It’s what I always do.”

-X-

Vi was not asked to go with the raid team, but she volunteered. Ekko was giving her some space to breathe and figure things out, but she couldn’t take any more downtime. She had to do something, anything to get these feelings out of her body. In the old days, she would’ve spent an hour at the arcade, wailing on the punching machine. She hadn’t been down there in a while. Wondered if it was still there, if it still worked.

With no games to play, she had to go for the real thing. Fists on flesh.

Smeech had set up in the bowels of the undercity—not quite down in the Sump, but in the lower areas of the Entresol level. His hideout was nestled amongst a bevy of body shops, all under his control, sporting his gang’s logo, which was a crude reproduction of two interlocking gears with green inner rims. Going under the cover of night was useless, as Zaun was more alive around midnight than noon. Instead, they set out in the early hours of the morning, just before sunrise.

The place was quiet, and mostly empty. There were a few tired goons hanging about, some of which were outright asleep. Ekko signaled for them to move in.

Their main goal was to retrieve all the stolen hextech and any related items. Secondarily, they would try to take out Smeech if an opportunity arose. The Firelights hadn’t come here looking for a fight, but they would gladly start one if the odds were in their favor.

Vi was bringing up the rear with Ekko, keeping watch and sending signals to the forward team to let them know when it was safe to proceed. With the lax security, they slipped inside without effort. Vi had assumed Smeech’s lair would reflect his intense interest in chemtech prosthetics, but she hadn’t prepared herself for the grisly reality of what that meant.

Smeech operated out of what clearly used to be a body shop, now converted into living quarters for him and his gang—though the past usage of the facility had not ceased, and there were several ORs still in working order. Whether they were sanitary or not was up for debate. The whole place was one giant health code violation (if Zaun even had health codes). Barrels of chems sat in the halls, left half open, leaking onto the floor and mixing with dried blood and various other fluids that Vi could only assume had come out of someone’s body. The use of shimmer was indicated by evidence of its absence: empty vials strewn about, broken syringes with droplets of glowing purple residue on the plungers.

Then, there were the bodies.

A few Firelights made the mistake of peeking into some of the side rooms, only to come stumbling back, gagging and waving their hands in front of their faces. Curiosity got the better of Vi, and she took a peek in one of the open doors as she passed.

Inside what looked to have been a post-op recovery room was a pile of gutted corpses. They were all at varying stages of decay, indicating that the gang had been dumping bodies in here on a regular basis. All of them were heavily mutilated. Torsos cut open, eyes gouged out, limbs haphazardly severed.

“Organ harvesting,” said Ekko as he placed a hand on her back, gently urging her to move on. “Smeech is the number one guy in the black market organ trade.”

“Makes sense. The guy who’s obsessed with modifying his own body rips apart other peoples’.”

Vi did her best to swallow the nausea that was building in her throat. She kept her eyes forward as she continued through the building.

The hall forked at the end, with a set of double doors over which hung a sign that had once read “OPERATING THEATRE”, though the word “operating” had been crossed out with red paint. Ekko sent the forward team right and took the rear team left.

Dirty windows wrapped around the top of the operating theatre, allowing for blurry glimpses into the room below. Eventually, Ekko found one that was broken, and he was able to get a better view of what was inside. Vi sat on her haunches, occasionally looking over her shoulder to make sure they were still alone.

“Whaddya see, little man?”

“It’s in there. There’s these massive gauntlets, and a couple of loose gems sitting around.”

“Thank god they don’t know what to do with ‘em.”

“They might figure it out if we don’t get ‘em outta here.” Ekko took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Alright, so I’ll send you around to the other side and—”

He was cut off by a loud crashing sound coming from the other side of the building. Before they could move to check on the forward team, they saw one of their comrades come crashing through a window on the opposite side of the theatre.

“Okay, fuck it. Everybody move!” Ekko shouted before bashing the glass out of the window with his elbow and jumping through.

Vi and the rest of the rear team followed. On the other side, she could see the forward team fighting with some of Smeech’s biomechanical grunts. Somewhere in the building, an alarm was triggered, and a painfully loud ringing began to blare throughout the building.

“Get the shit and get out!” Ekko shouted over the noise, waving his arm around to signal everyone to regroup.

Vi rushed over to the table where the hextech was strewn about. Someone else was already collecting the hexgems, but another Firelight was struggling to lift one of the gauntlets. Before she could move to help, the main doors at the top of the room slammed open, and through them stepped Smeech himself.

“Looks like we got an infestation, boys! Who’s ready to squash some bugs?”

From there it was utter chaos. The rest of the rear team charged up the steps to go after Smeech and his goons, while the forward team struggled with more of them in the hallway. Smeech easily bypassed the Firelights swinging for him with an oddly graceful leap, clearing the stairs and landing in the center of the theatre where Vi and the others were trying to get what they came for. Two of the Firelights were still struggling with one of the gauntlets. Vi was trying to pick up the other one herself and failing to do so. All the while, Smeech was drawing closer, taking slow, deliberate steps as he puffed on his shimmer-laced cigar.

“That doesn’t belong to you, little lady,” he said with a grin, flicking the butt of the cigar towards her.

Vi tilted her head to the left, dodging it.

“It doesn’t belong to you either, shithead.”

That wiped the grin off his face. Smeech took one step back, winding up his mechanical arms. One of them split into multiple blades. Vi didn’t have anything that could stop it.

Except, now she did.

She shoved her fist into the gauntlet she was trying to lift. At the end of the padded leather sleeve, there was a glove-like apparatus that latched around her fingers. The device came alive, no longer too heavy to lift. Rather, it felt light as a feather, an extension of her. Vi flexed the mechanical fingers before balling them into a fist and spinning around, meeting Smeech’s bladed arm with a hextech gauntlet that tore through his pitiful prosthetic like it was tissue paper.

Smeech was sent stumbling backwards. Vi turned to look at the Firelights with the other gauntlet, and she motioned for them to push it across the table to her. They were hesitant, but they quickly scanned the room and saw no other options. As soon as they pushed it towards her, Vi plunged her other arm into it. It activated just as smoothly as the first.

She felt like she could take on the world.

Smeech regained his footing and charged at her, screaming all the while. Vi snorted and took up her fighting stance. As he closed in, he looked less like a yordle and more like the punching machine at the old arcade. Wide open, just asking to be hit.

Lower right jab, fifty points! Left hook, twenty five points! Vi ran up her score as she pummeled the chembaron. Finish up with an uppercut right in the kisser! One hundred points!

The force of the blow launched Smeech into the air. He came crashing back down and crumpled as he hit the ground. Something inside Vi snapped when she saw him lying there, beaten, broken, and helpless. Trying to drag himself away with his barely functioning limbs. Seven years of pain and anger boiled inside her chest. She screamed as she raised both of her massive, metal fists and brought them down on the chembaron’s head, flattening it against the tile with a sickening CRUNCH!

The sounds of fighting came to a stop. Only the ringing of the alarm bell continued as the Firelights and the gang members stared down at the center of the theatre. Vi was breathing hard, shoulders heaving. She looked up, locking eyes with one of the grunts, and she screamed at him so hard it felt like her throat had been ripped open. He turned and ran. They all did.

“Let them go!” Ekko called out. “Grab the stuff and get outta here! Scatter!”

He jogged down the steps to Vi, grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a gentle shake.

“Hey? Vi? Snap out of it, man. C’mon, we gotta jet.”

Vi blinked several times, the red haze disappearing from her vision. She looked over Ekko’s shoulder at the pile of meat and bones and metal that used to be Smeech, and she gagged, turning her head to the side to dry heave.

“We gotta go, Vi. Don’t look around, just—just follow me.”

Ekko gripped her bicep, unable to hold her hand due to the massive gauntlets she was still wearing. He pulled her along, up the stairs and down the hall and out of the building. The other Firelights were already hopping onto their boards, taking flight and disappearing into the vents.

“C’mon,” Ekko said again, pulling her over to where he had stashed his board. “You can’t walk back. Not with those on. We need to get ‘em back to base anyways.”

Vi nodded, still not quite all there, and she hopped onto the back of Ekko’s board. He wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her, and they took off.

-X-

“Tell me about it. What happened while I was… gone.”

Vi took a swig from her flask. Ekko gave her a disapproving look, but he didn’t tell her to stop. He just filled a glass of water and sat it on the table beside her.

“Where do I even begin?” he said, laughing darkly.

“At the beginning,” she replied, entirely serious.

Ekko’s sardonic smile faded, and he sat down in the chair by his workstation. The two of them were sitting in his room, resting after the job. The recovered gauntlets were sitting on a nearby table, Ekko having already started examining them, figuring out how they worked. It reminded Vi of when they were kids. He and Powder were always like that, taking things apart to see what made them tick.

He wasn’t a kid anymore, and Vi knew that, but she was glad to see that some things hadn’t changed.

Ekko began to explain how Silco had swiftly taken control of the Lanes in Vander’s absence, setting up shop in The Last Drop. Most people bent their knees to him with no resistance. The ones that didn’t weren’t around for long. Living in the Lanes was already dangerous, but that danger doubled, tripled, quadrupled.

“There were so many kids who lost their parents, whether it was because they got caught up in some turf war or got addicted to shimmer. I couldn’t just sit around and watch. I had to do something. I thought about what you would have done—” Vi winced. “—and I did it. I gathered them all up, brought them here. Made this a safe place. And it’s stayed that way.”

Ekko was carefully dancing around the elephant in the room, the real reason Vi was asking him this. She wanted him to cut to the chase.

“And what happened to Powder?”

He let out a shaky sigh.

“A lot. Too much. Not enough?” He shrugged. “I… I thought Silco was holding her hostage. I spent a year—maybe more than that—trying to figure out how I could get to her. I knew he had her, but I hadn’t seen her since…” He closed his eyes. “I knew she was in there. I thought I could save her.”

Vi said nothing, but she leaned forward, sitting on the edge of her chair, hanging on his every word.

“And I got in. I found her in there, and I told her that I was there to save her, and—and…” Ekko’s whole body tensed, and he looked as if he was going to cry. “She said she didn’t want to be saved. Didn’t need to be saved. She wasn’t in danger. They weren’t keeping her there.” He swallowed. “And she kept calling herself Jinx.”

Vi gripped her flask so tightly that she thought the metal might buckle under her fingers. “Silco will pay for what he did to her.”

“Listen, Vi. I know it seems like he did that to her, and I’m not saying he wasn’t part of it, but she was the one who chose that name for herself. It wasn’t something he came up with.”

That made her nauseous. She took another swig from her flask and chased it with water when she gagged on the burning liquor.

“It’s my fault.”

“No!” Ekko was growing frustrated. “It’s really not.”

“Tell me, and be honest—do you think she’s still in there?” She paused, then clarified, “Powder?”

Her question hung in the air for a long, heavy moment. Ekko looked like he didn’t want to answer it, like he knew she wouldn’t like whatever he had to say. But, over the years, he had become an expert at saying things no one wanted to hear.

“There is no Powder,” he said, and then raised a hand to silence her when she opened her mouth. “There is no Powder because Powder is Jinx. They’re not two different people, you can’t just… fish ‘Powder’ out of her. Powder is who she was and Jinx is what she is now. No going back. You’d have to figure out how to reverse time.”

“Then I’ll fucking do it! I just… I just want my sister back,” she said, her voice breaking as she leaned forward, threading her fingers through her hair. “I don’t want this… this stranger, this murderer .”

“Vi…” Ekko leaned forward, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “She’s changed. I’ve changed. Shit, it’s been seven years. Everyone has changed.”

“I haven’t,” she said, her voice deep and raw with anger. She swatted away his hand.

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“You have.”

Not wanting to argue any longer, Vi stood up with such ferocity that she knocked over the chair she was sitting in. She barged out of the room, and Ekko made no move to stop her.

-X-

Vi had a regular rotation of bars she liked to frequent, visiting them in random orders each week to ensure that no single establishment would catch onto the fact that she was out drinking nearly every night. It was overly cautious of her. She wasn’t getting utterly shitfaced—at least, not every night. But she worried about how it made her look, so she kept doing it.

Tonight’s bar was on the outside edge of the Lanes. It was a hole-in-the-wall dive bar that barely had room for more than a dozen customers and never actually had more than five or six in it at a time. Sometimes, that was what Vi wanted. A quiet place to drink alone.

After her sixth drink the bartender started to give her a concerned look, but she stayed lucid so he kept serving her.

After her tenth drink, she found herself being booted out onto the street. If she was sober, the man wouldn’t have been able to move her an inch, but now she went stumbling in whichever direction she was pushed. The ground was slipping away from her as she tried to walk home, stopping every few minutes when she ran into a wall that she didn’t know was there. If she had been less drunk, she would have felt ashamed of the state she was in. But that was the point of drinking—not feeling anything at all.

Her face scraped against rough brick as she tried to push herself back up into a standing position, only to shove herself away from the wall and fall into a pile of trash. The world above her was spinning and the world inside her was spinning and she decided to sit there and close her eyes, and that was a horrible mistake because everything was spinning in different directions. She jolted upright and vomited between her legs, just narrowly missing her pants.

Vi was tired. She sat there for a moment, catching her breath and trying to figure out which way was up before she forced herself to stand and keep walking.

That was when she saw her.

Powder.

Jinx.

Pink eyes left ghostly trails in the air, followed by long, blue braids that seemed to float behind her as she walked. Vi was sure she was seeing things until those pink eyes seemed to notice her, and suddenly they were getting bigger, moving towards her.

“Ssstop, stop it! Go ‘way,” she slurred, waving her hands in front of her.

“You’re in rough shape.”

The voice was too clear, too real. It cut through the sea of booze that Vi was drowning in and crawled inside of her ears, scraping at her brain.

“You’re not really here, are you? Ahhh, of courrrrse you are. I’m just havin’ the besssst day ever!”

Jinx opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but she closed it quickly. Her eyes narrowed in what was either an expression of concern or judgement. Vi chose the latter.

“Don’t fffuckin’ look a’ me like that! This is alllll your fault.”

Vi, drunkenly swaying on the spot, jabbed a finger towards her sister with such vigor that her entire body followed the movement forward. Her feet struggled to find the ground again, but she remained standing.

“Are… Are you okay?”

Vi’s lazy eyes flew open in anger.

“You’ve got some nerve, askin’ me that! Jinx,” she spat, saying the name like it was a curse. Immediately, she realized she was only repeating herself, though seven years in the past, and she regretted it—both then and now. Vi stood up straighter. “Uh… ‘m sorry. Didn’ mean it like… that. It’s just you… your name…” Her mood soured again. “No, it’s not! Powder. Powwwwder. Powder.”

She said the name almost like she was teasing her. Jinx took it as such, and her face hardened.

“Don’t call me that. Powder’s dead.”

Something Ekko had said floated through Vi’s mind.

“No, Powder is you. You’re Powder. Jinx is Powder. Powder is… Jinx? Fuck.”

“Look, if you shut up and let me go I’ll leave you alone.”

Vi blinked. She didn’t even realize she was holding Jinx by the arm. She stared at her hand, trying to figure out whether or not she should let go. Jinx tried to jerk it away from her, but Vi held on and pulled her closer.

“No. I can’t let you go.” Vi felt like she was sobering up. “You killed her.”

“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Are you serious!? You killed her and you don’t even remember!”

Vi jerked her arm, pulling her closer and grabbing her other wrist, keeping both of her hands from pulling any tricks on her. Jinx grunted and squirmed in her grip, trying to free her hands to no avail. With no other option, Jinx reared her head back and slammed it against Vi’s, headbutting her so hard that she let go and fell back on her ass. She reached up to rub her face and found her nose bleeding.

“Fuck me, dude! Y’know, Ekko said you’d changed and I believed it but I didn’t think…” Vi struggled to get back on her feet. “Who are you? You’re not my sister.”

Vi didn’t expect the words to cut Jinx as hard as they did. The girl tensed up as if Vi had hit her, which cause Vi to remember what she looked like when she actually did hit her. Suddenly, it wasn’t Jinx in front of her anymore, but Powder, and then the two of them flickering back and forth to the point where she couldn’t tell who was who anymore.

“Fuck!” She gripped her head with both hands. “I don’t know anymore! Just leave me alone!”

Jinx didn’t move immediately. Vi couldn’t stand the look on her face. She felt her heart breaking all over again, for the millionth time.

“Go!” she screamed, and that finally got Jinx to turn and run.

Vi continued her drunken walk down the alleyway, tears blurring her vision even further. She didn’t see the figure standing in front of her until she ran straight into them.

“Shit, sorry—”

Her apology was cut off as a gloved hand emerged from the tall silhouette before her and shot up, gripping her by the throat. They managed to lift her off the ground. Vi clawed at their arm and managed to open her eyes enough to get a good look at her attacker.

She found no face. Only the vacuous stare of a gas mask with a long, birdlike beak.

The Crow. Jinx’s Guard Dog.

They held her there for a moment, tilting their head from side to side as if they were inspecting her. Then, they threw her to the side. Vi was sent crashing into another pile of trash. By the time she righted herself and put her dukes up, the shadowy figure was gone.

Vi let herself relax, leaning back against the wall and rubbing her throat.

“Fuck me. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”