Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

xiao is ten when he discovers what it means to fall in love with a sport.

his father brings him and his younger sister along to a baseball game, describing it as a family outing. he’s not an outgoing, active child by any means, if the nintendo ds he brings along with him says anything. nevertheless, xiao has never seen an actual baseball game before, and ganyu looks excited for once. he supposes he’ll just have to deal with throngs of people in the stands and the racket of applause for his family.

his father looks a little ridiculous sporting the baseball cap and the casual t-shirt with ‘yakshas’ scrawled across the middle— xiao has only ever seen him in proper suits or neat button up shirts when they’re outside of the house, so he looks a little out of his element. though, beneath it all he knows it’s still his same old zhongli papa: there’s still the familiar smile on his face when he gently takes xiao and ganyu’s hands to lead them through the sections of seats, all the while giving an overtly long explanation on how he acquired their tickets.

casting a glance to the side, xiao’s eyes widen at the stadium’s field. it stretches beyond perimeters he can comprehend. underneath the spiraling blue sky, xiao wonders what it’d feel like to run through a large open space like that. a diamond is lined into one of the corners in the field, the white paint prominent against the dirt and grass.

ganyu makes little hops as she struggles to look past the railings. “papa, where are they going to play the game?”

“they’ll be playing over there.” their father points to the diamond and xiao is befuddled at why they’d be playing in such a small area when there’s a vast field just right behind them.

the crowds roar as the two teams step into the field, their boots stomping onto the ground in synchronized thumps. “today’s game is between a team from liyue, called ‘yakshas’,” zhongli gestures to his shirt. ganyu’s little hand traces over the letters. “and the opposing team is from inazuma, called ‘tengu’.” xiao rises up from his seat, unable to quell the excitement bubbling in him. the colors on their uniforms are different, tengu’s jerseys a dark indigo and purple hues a contrast to yakshas’ exuberant red and yellows.

both teams jog around the field, some players standing by the side of the fences to throw a ball with a strange large glove. it’s different from the gloves his father makes xiao and ganyu wear in the winter.

xiao insistently tugs at the sleeve of his father’s tacky shirt. “what are those people doing? why aren’t they out on the field?”

“those are the pitchers of the team. the role of the pitchers is to toss, in this case it’ll be pitch, the baseball for the opposing team to bat. they work together with the catcher, the one wearing the large bulky helmet and chest guard, to create pitches that may be difficult for the opposing team.”

“… so if you’re a pitcher, all you have to do is to throw the ball, and the enemy team hits it?” xiao frowns. how could it be any fun to stay in the same spot just constantly throwing balls? “that sounds way too easy…”

“they have an important role in the team, xiao—”, there’s a yell and all the players start lining up to face each other. “let’s watch the game, alright? you’ll get to see that a pitcher is not just someone who simply throws balls at the opponent. observe how they play.” zhongli ruffles his hair, and xiao can only pout in petulance as his question goes unanswered.

he’s itching to turn his ds on but not even a moment has passed since the players yelled out their greetings. he’s not sure if he’ll understand what his father truly means, or whether he’ll have any fun watching people just throwing and hitting balls. 

as the players disperse into their positions, one of the players from the yakshas team, tall with purple strands streaking into his spiky hair,— the pitcher, he recalls— walks up into the middle of the diamond. xiao can’t place his finger on it, but there’s a certain aura he exudes that kickstarts excitement within his heart.

in the corner of the diamond across from the pitcher, a player from the opposing team steps into the position, all the while holding a baseball bat. he’s wearing a different helmet to the catcher, so maybe it’s a batter thing? the jumbotron displays the scene in minute detail, the energy buzzing in the air as a shot of the pitcher and batter staring each other down is shown.

there’s a tense moment before a different person walks up behind the catcher. “that’s the umpire,” zhongli says from his side. “he watches from behind the catcher to make sure the pitcher and catcher don’t break any rules, and also to watch for the strikes and balls. if the player strikes three times, they’ll be out. for balls, if the pitcher makes four throws out of the strike zone, the batter can walk— hence the word walks!”

xiao nods at his father before staring at the scene unfolding in front of him once more. fidgeting with his fingers, there’s a palpable tension in the air that settles into him.

“play ball!”

xiao watches with bated breath as the pitcher stretches his hands out high in the sky, pulling his body back in precise motions as he continues to stare down the batter. 

much later in xiao’s future, he recalls everything happening in slow motion.

the world blurs away from xiao’s view as he watches one of the pitcher's feet stretch out past the plate. lightning strikes through xiao when the pitcher’s arm shoots out, the ball seemingly flying out of his hand. it reminds him of a shooting star, the way the meteors speed through the endless sky. he never could look away from those skies, and he feels the same way now watching the ball zooming towards the batter. xiao zeroes in on the ball’s trajectory, his heart thumping loudly in anticipation of the possible outcome— either the catcher receives it or the batter hits it away into the horizon.

the only thing echoing out in his mind is the sound of the ball landing into the catcher’s large mitt.

“strike!”

“and yakshas’ ace, bosacius, does it again by starting off the game with a strike!”, booms the loudspeaker.

xiao blinks, the cheers and yells from all around him returning as he comes back to his senses. the wild thumping in his heart is still there and he wants that electrifying feeling to return. he’s itching to stand on that field and wonders what it’d be like to pitch like that and have your entire country cheer you on. if he tried to pitch, would it speed across the field like the shooting star he sees out in the fields of the countryside?

as the game presses on, only a few batters manage to make it past the pitcher’s hard throws. and even if they make it to a base, the pitcher and his team make quick work of any base stealers or players that nearly reach home base. the team’s coordination with the pitcher makes xiao’s little heart race in excitement and he finds himself leaning close to the railing each time the pitcher winds up for his pitch.

in xiao’s befuddlement over how someone could pitch a ball in ways that the batters can’t hit, zhongli catches his excitement and smiles at him.

“having fun?”

“i just wanna know how they play.” xiao mutters, fidgeting with his fingers as he avoids looking into zhongli’s eyes. “and… why do they keep calling the pitcher an ace?”

his father's eyes gleam with a knowing look, but he simply answers xiao’s question. “an ace is the baseball team’s best pitcher on the team’s starting line. if you played in school, they’d be the players with the number one on their back. however, in the professional league, the uniform numbers don’t really matter.”

“oh.” xiao murmurs. the best? it really is an important position, then. it would be a challenge but… one day, could he do it too?

there’s a small hum that he catches despite the rumblings of the stadium surrounding them. “do you want to try playing baseball, xiao?”

before he can reply, his little sister hops up, her tiny ribbons bouncing atop her head as she beams excitedly at them.

“i wanna play, papa!” ganyu exclaims, clinging onto their father’s arm. she then latches onto xiao and nearly topples him over his seat with her incessant hopping. “i wanna play ball with gege, too! he’d be the best and we’d win!”

sputtering, xiao uses his other hand to cover his reddening cheeks. ganyu has always been his biggest supporter next to their father, and it only makes him want to strive to be a good older brother she can rely on. yet having her praise directed at him is still something he isn’t used to. “i’ve never even tried playing baseball before, mei…”

zhongli chuckles and pats both their heads. “i’d think that both of you would play splendidly.”

xiao scrunches his face in embarrassment and turns his attention back onto the game. he has no idea how to read the scoreboard, however from the spotting blotches of purple hats out in the field, it must be tengu’s turn to pitch. really, there are no striking differences that xiao can notice at this point in time, but he has to admit that yakshas’ pitcher is cooler.

though, xiao still doesn’t understand why they need to switch sides if the yakshas' ace is so good at defending.

xiao tugs at zhongli’s sleeve again and receives an amused chuckle in response.“they switch positions because they get three outs, which ends the round. each round is called an inning, and each half is dubbed ‘top of the inning number’ or ‘bottom of the inning number’.” 

xiao stares at the jumbotron, the number eight is lit up amongst the other numbers. ganyu chimes in before he can answer. “so this is the bottom of the eight?”

“that’s right, ganyu! you both catch on quick.” zhongli claps enthusiastically and xiao huffs, but he’s sort of proud of his little sister for answering quickly. she’s certainly got it from him.

towards the end of the game, xiao is cheering alongside his father as the last batter hits a homerun, points that lead to yakshas earning their win. ganyu struggles to clap while nodding off, and it signals their father to begin their trip back home.

he holds ganyu in one arm and holds xiao’s hand in his other, weaving through the streams of tired, happy or disgruntled looking fans. they’re back on the first floor of the stadium when something makes xiao stop in his tracks.

a booth stands near the gates they need to go through to leave, several hats and jerseys on display. there’s a light green cap bearing the yakshas logo that steals his attention; one glance up to his father and his throat starts to close up from embarrassment at the thought of even asking for the cap.

“xiao?” his father asks, kneeling down to face him. “are you alright?”

xiao stays rooted on the spot, staring down at the brick path below them. perhaps in the future, when he’s a little older, he could buy the cap for himself. “it’s okay, it’s nothing.”

there’s a quiet huff that leaves zhongli’s lips. “do you want the cap?”

is he a mind reader? he toes the grass that grows in between the cracks of the path, distracting himself from the shame of getting caught. “no.”

there’s no reply from his father, only a gentle tug to his arm as they continue their walk. disappointment wells up within him and he feels as though he could cry, a sniffle threatening to work its way through his lips as he continues to stare down at the brick path.

“excuse me, two yakshas caps, please.” xiao snaps his head up at the jingle of his father’s coin pouch. his father places an arm on his shoulder and encourages him to pick a cap. he gingerly picks up the light green cap from before, and his father grins at him before picking a baby blue cap for his little sister. they leave the merch stand with the caps and a small smile plastered onto xiao’s lips.

he’s admiring the logo embroidered into the fabric of the cap while waiting for his father to place ganyu on the back seat of the car. 

after zhongli closes the door, he turns to him and pats his head. “i’m glad you like the hat, xiao.”

“thank you, papa.” xiao says, still in awe of the cap in his hands. “i love it.” the hand ruffles through his head and xiao can’t fight off the smile on his face.

“of course. and also, my question from earlier still stands. do you want to try playing baseball, xiao?”

the embroidery of the yakshas logo shimmers like gold in the glow of the setting sun. the lingering adrenaline from watching yakshas’ ace pitches still courses through him, a brief preview into the world that’s calling for him. 

he looks up at his father, confidence brewing in him as he clutches the cap in his hands. “i want to become an ace pitcher.”

there’s a surprised look on zhongli’s face for a fraction of a second, but xiao likes the soft smile that comes afterwards when he’s gathered into his father’s arms. “i’m sure i’ll see you play in a stadium like this one day, as the team’s ace.”

the confidence all but melts right out of him at the praise, though he holds his head high and nods at zhongli’s words. “i’ll get you the best seat, papa.”

the week after, zhongli brings both ganyu and xiao to their first baseball practice in a club near their school.

he’s mildly annoyed by the thought of having to run laps before practice to increase his stamina. regardless, he immediately starts running more just to spite the other kids after overhearing a jab aimed at him by one of the older recruits. it’ll only add onto the skills of having to run from base to base and pitching for multiple innings as the ace pitcher.

so he keeps running. he practices batting like his life depends on it, and he does his best to catch all the balls thrown out onto the field during fielding practice.

they eventually get to learn the different pitches and balls through demonstrations from the club’s coach, and xiao realizes that it’s a little different for him.

“excuse me, coach, i have a question.” xiao approaches the coach during their break, a little out of breath from the ten laps he ran that day. it’s a new record for him and definitely more than the kid who taunted him, so he’s satisfied. “i’m left handed, so could you teach me those pitches again, please? i didn’t really get how to do it.”

“oh, so you’re a southpaw!” the coach exclaims, hopping up to their feet. “we’ve never had one before, so i didn’t have to teach it. but of course, i’ll teach you!”

they’re in the middle of going through several wind up mechanics before the coach quips with something that shakes a fraction of xiao’s confidence. “truth be told, the best southpaw pitchers only throw as hard as the average right handed pitcher.”

“what? really?” are xiao’s dreams of becoming an ace shattering before he even gets to pitch?

“mh, but don’t you worry!” the coach claps his back assuredly, seemingly picking up his rapidly declining mood. “the advantage that southpaw pitchers have could be game changing in a real match, and that’s because most players don’t come across lefties that often while playing in middle or highschool.”

“i see.” they continue with practice, and eventually xiao gets to try an actual pitch. he’s stiff and awkward the first few times, but with the coach’s encouragement, he’s able to throw a ball in a stance that doesn’t look so stilted.

that afternoon, xiao does his first pitch in a real game. well, a practice match between the club members, but he supposes it’s the next best thing to a real match. he puts all that he learned from the coach into his pitch, and envisions himself in the yakshas’ ace’s position out on the field.

it’s an immediate foul and xiao has to suppress the urge to throw his yakshas cap into the ground and run away to wallow in his failure.

ganyu, despite being on the other team, still yells out cheers even after getting shushed by her teammates.

mustering the courage and strength for his next pitch, xiao takes a deep breath and winds up into a pitching stance once more. the batter strikes out two times and manages to get a weak hit from the last pitch, but his team makes quick work of him and xiao’s heart soars.

it’s reminiscent of the feeling from the stadium, and it stays with him pitch after pitch, the walks and hits included. it stays even after xiao’s face and uniform are stained by the dirt after leaping onto the ground to score at home base. and even when his team loses due to one of his teammates’ blunder, it’s still there with him when he and ganyu collapse into a giggling heap on top of their father.

it’s not perfect by any means, but for now, xiao relishes in the feeling. 

he’ll definitely make it.

Chapter Text

xiao is fourteen when he feels set alight by an opponent for the first time.

he’s doing well enough to be chosen for the team’s first string in his middle school’s baseball team by his last year.

chihu middle school is the closest school to the area where zhongli works, and it has a baseball team strong enough to rival some of the powerhouses in further areas. he’s heard of chihu players getting scouted for prestigious teams during the spring regionals tournament before nationals, it’s his best bet at entering an elite baseball team in highschool. zhongli had no objections, resulting in both xiao and ganyu enrolling one after the other.

he’s not the ace of this team, though if the team coach deems him good enough to become a reserve pitcher, xiao will take what he can get. baseball takes up ninety percent of his thoughts, leaving the rest for his schoolwork and other hobbies. at the end of the day, xiao’s thoughts will trail back to his pitching and the next match; if he isn’t already watching baseball videos on the internet, then he’s thinking of the vast pitches he’s still yet to learn. his uniforms are meticulously cleaned each day after practice, xiao won’t let a speck of dirt or mud leftover ruin the fabric. zhongli has tried to help, but xiao insisted on doing it himself. it's worth the sense of pride ebbing from the jersey he wears, the number ten plastered onto his back gives him all the confidence he needs to be out there on the field.

during games, ganyu sits next to him whenever they’re waiting out in the dugout. she's not a part of the first string, regardless, xiao stands on the fact that his little sister will grow to become a strong player in the future.

(“you just need to practice your batting, mei,” he told her one day as they were practicing their swings, “you’re good at catching far throws in the outfield and running quickly when you’re on base. if you swing strong enough, you could probably get a homerun off of weak pitchers. and if you’re stronger, you could be a part of the cleanup!”

“i don’t want to clean up.”

“you know what i mean. they only clean up the bases when runners are on them.”

“the only thing that matters to me is that i want to play on the same field as gege and back him up from the field. i’ll do my best!” she had asserted, puffing her cheeks. xiao only pinched her cheek in response, endeared.)

landing a spot in the first string is a big enough accomplishment to finish middle school with, but it only means that he’ll need to step up his game and aim higher next year. his opportunities will start branching out when he enrolls into a highschool with a well established baseball team; every drop of experience he soaks up in this current moment is crucial to him.

he’s not pissy over his placement on the team. he’s been pitching significantly enough to throw their opponents off in recent games, surprising the batters with his changeups and fast balls. the team showers him with praise after every practice match and offers their assistance in any way they can, and while he’s grateful, his emotions may fall a little flat in enthusing his appreciation. he hopes it’s telegraphed well enough through every strikeout he pulls from the opposing team; xiao makes do his time up at the mound from the very moment he’s called up there.

the team’s current ace, xingqiu, is nice enough to give him tips on his wind ups and throws. he had been chosen to be a pitcher within the starting line up in their first year, all while xiao was stuck on the benches as a pinch hitter doing anything but pitching— he made his irritation known through every long hit and on base runs he could get. in spite of his initial annoyance, he quickly understood why xingqiu was, and is, all-powerful enough to be standing on the mound as their ace. 

he’s a graceful pitcher even while throwing his fastest ball, and while it screams ‘my family enrolled me into expensive baseball lessons!’, there’s hard work and preservation etched into his playstyle that xiao respects.

xiao respects him to a certain degree, just not when he’s wandering into the bullpen to bother him about the newest adventure novel he’s stuck his nose into.

“—and i believe the ending was a tad bit rushed, not to mention the numerous plot holes! however, it’s still quite well written.” today, said nuisance is leaning on the entrance of the bullpen, blathering on over the latest entry of his novel collection. 

xiao is attempting to perfect his two seamer with the team catcher, chongyun, who looks unfazed by xingqiu’s ramblings. they’ve been practicing together when xingqiu hasn’t dragged the both of them away to the library down the block after practice. chongyun is quiet enough for xiao to find him tolerable, plus, they form a pretty good battery. “xiao, your pitches are slightly off. they’re breaking a little too early.”

“sorry, there’s a mosquito buzzing near my ear that won't go away.” xiao deadpans, casting a glare to the ace.

“you don’t usually mind when i’m talking to you about my books.” xingqiu says, brushing his shoulder as he straightens up.

“i only mind when i’m practicing my pitches.” xiao mutters, fiddling with the baseball’s seams. normally, xiao would reciprocate with his own opinions on xingqiu’s book reviews— but it’s different when he’s in the bullpen trying to improve his pitching. “as the ace, you should understand why i’d want to improve my skill during the off season. undisturbed.”

“he’s right, xingqiu. he can’t really focus if there are things around to distract him. we’ll talk to you later.” chongyun gives xingqiu a pointed look before he can respond.

“mh, you’re right. i guess i just need something to do while i’m waiting for you both. perhaps i should bring a book next time?”

“do whatever you want, just don’t bother me.”

“alright! see you, guys!” with a flourish, xingqiu finally leaves the bullpen. xiao’s grip on the baseball loosens a little at his leave, his shoulders slightly sagging in quiet relief.

“we’ve been friends and teammates for two years but i still don’t have the heart in me to tell him to go away.” xiao says, getting back into position. “i feel like it’s a little harder, considering he was just made our ace.”

“sometimes, he just needs a strong push back in the right direction when he goes off track.” chongyun chuckles, positioning his mitt to where he wants xiao to throw. “he means well.”

there’s a fleeting memory of xingqiu teaching him the correct way to execute a changeup and demonstrating the throw for him, just after xiao witnessed it in their first year. “i know. still, i can’t concentrate if there’s someone talking directly to me while i’m pitching. i can’t drown them out as easily.”

“i guess ‘cause it’s directed to you? anyway, you can try pitching again.”

xiao nods, taking a deep breath. he winds up the same way he does, hiding the ball in his glove as he lifts his leg and turns his body to the side. the tension releases when he stretches his leg out and his arm extends to release the ball, flexing his arm forward before letting the ball fly from his grip.

this time, the ball doesn’t go off course and flies straight into chongyun’s awaiting mitt. “nice ball!”

a laugh bubbles out of xiao’s throat out of elation from a pitch that just felt right. he’s about to wind up for another until xingqiu trots back into the bullpen not even three minutes since he left.

chongyun all but throttles his mitt towards xingqiu before the ace shakes his head and points to the field. “coach says to gather.”

xiao presses his lips in a thin line and glances back at the catcher, who simply nods. the three of them leave the bullpen and into the open field, the wind whipping through their hair. the moment they reach their teammates there’s quiet chatter that fills the afternoon air that xiao doesn’t even bother tuning into.

the coach clears his throat, catching everyone’s attention. “alright, everyone! today, a visiting student will be joining you in today’s practice match!”

immediately, the chatter around him increases by tenfold.

“visiting student?”

“this never happens, what do you mean he’ll be playing in our practice match?”

“maybe he’ll be joining our team next year!”

everyone tries to peek over each other to get a glimpse of the new kid, ridiculing themselves by craning their necks and standing on their tiptoes. xiao’s not that interested, he’s done the same exact thing the first time zhongli took him to that baseball club years ago. the new student will play one game and get a feel for the sport, and if they’re lucky, maybe they’ll join their team next year.

whichever way it goes, it won’t matter to xiao because he’ll be off in highschool by then, catching bigger fish to fry.

a bright voice he’s never heard strikes straight through his thoughts. “hello! i’m fengyuan wanye. thank you for this opportunity!”

a chorus of “welcome!” and “hello!” are yelled out in response by his team and xiao can only muster a greeting in his regular voice. the crowd starts parting away as the coach mixes the first string and second string players into two teams, and like he stood at the center of the red sea, xiao finally spots the visiting student standing at the coach’s side.

the first thing xiao notices are his striking eyes. the bright crimson hue melts into a sunny yellow that makes the non-existent hackles on xiao’s back rise when they directly stare back at him. the boy’s short platinum blonde hair neatly frames his face, save for the red streak that sneaks out from under his cap. he’s wearing a casual t-shirt that makes xiao question if this really is a visiting student or some kid that got dropped off at the wrong school.

much to his disgruntlement, the boy— wanye, was it? — grins and waves at him. xiao nods and walks away. he hopes he wasn’t making the face that ganyu’s always chiding him for whenever he’s attempting to smile.

he’s set aside to team a, ganyu immediately sidles up to him and giddily starts to talk about their possible positions. chongyun taps him on the back and xiao lets out a sigh of relief. if chongyun is on their team, then there’s a very good possibility that he was separated from xingqiu. their battery was a dangerous one, one he refuses to deal with, even if it’s in a practice match.

he spots xingqiu’s cerulean hair on the team b side. he’s chattering away with wanye, looking like the best of buddies in record time. just one look at xingqiu’s face and xiao can tell that he’s raving on about the book from earlier, but wanye responds just as earnestly, his eyes sparkling like stars as the two nerd out together. 

xiao purses his lips, his eyes trained on wanye. he’s pulled away from his contemplation as a couple of his teammates walk up to him. “xiao! do you want to be the opener?”

from the side of his eye, chongyun gives him a thumbs up. as the ace of the team, xingqiu is almost often the starting pitcher, with xiao backing him up for a couple innings as reserve during mid game. this could be good practice for him, especially if he got to bat against a new player.

xiao nods. “okay.”

one quick coin toss later, team b is to start defense first while team a goes up to bat. after careful consideration, they make one of the quicker teammates leadoff while xiao reluctantly becomes the second in the lineup.

“with all the times you were pinch hitting and your track record now, you have a pretty high on base average. not only that but you’re a leftie! it’ll make it easier for us to break through their defense when i get on base.” the leadoff hitter nods to herself, smug.

‘that’s if you even get on base.’ xiao only grunts in response. she eventually walks out onto the plate, and xiao starts fixing his helmet onto his head while keeping a close eye on xingqiu. even without chongyun as his catcher, xingqiu is the ace for a reason— his pitching is risky, but they could be difficult to decipher until the very last second.

“play ball!”

as expected, the leadoff hitter almost gets struck out and only manages to get on after landing a hit on one of xingqiu’s sloppier curveballs. there’s no saying if he did it out of pity for their teammate, but frankly, xiao would prefer to face xingqiu’s best pitches. practice match or not.

he steps up to the plate and catches the smirk xingqiu sends him. the corner of his mouth curves up for a moment, before he bends his knees and sets his hands properly on the bat. the whistle blows and xiao readies himself for the ace’s pitch.

xingqiu turns his hips and kicks his foot up, before extending his arm and throwing the ball. xiao’s eyes automatically lock onto the ball’s path, the adrenaline coursing through his veins as he watches where the ball would break. it flies uncomfortably close to the striking zone, but xiao lets his instincts fly and bites his cheek as he swings.

the ball touches the bat and has significant airtime before landing outfield, thankfully, however it doesn’t take long for one of the outfielders to quickly get to it. his heartbeat thunders in his ears as he swiftly runs to first base and manages to slide onto the plate.

“safe!”

thanks to the cleanup, their team is able to get a couple points before three outs have them switching sides. the moment xiao steps up onto the mound, a wave of determination crashes over him as he holds the baseball in his palm. a couple of the first string clean up hitters are lined up for him to pitch, but hell, xiao loves a good challenge.

following chongyun’s lead, the inning ends after xiao manages to strikeout the first three batters back to back. he wonders if he’d be able to perform a no hitter game in the future.

‘nice pitch!’ and ‘nice ball!’ are yelled from different sides of the field as they switch teams, and it helps to increase morale before batting. or maybe he shouldn’t speak too soon when xingqiu strikes out a player and their defense manages a double play once their batters actually get on base.

he’s up on the mound again and faces off xingqiu, rolling his eyes as xingqiu sends him a thumbs up paired with a cheeky grin.

he has a little trouble striking out xingqiu when he’s up to bat, only because that conniving brat just had to be an all rounder at batting too. the changeup xiao throws isn’t enough to deter xingqiu from swinging strongly against it. it flies out to the outfield and xiao feels dread settle into the pit of his stomach as he watches xingqiu stand on first base as team b’s first on base runner.

“don’t mind, xiao! we’ll get this next one!” chongyun yells out. over at first base, xingqiu winks and sends him a little wave with his fingers. any other time, xiao would’ve cheered at xingqiu’s good play and his risky moves to get on base. the last two cleanup hitters are next in line, and they’ll either have to run risky pitches or risk walks to prevent a homerun from happening.

xiao is able to pick off the fourth batter after the ball rolls in front of him from the fifth’s sacrifice bunt for xingqiu’s run to third base, but something in the air shifts the moment their visitor steps up to the plate next.

wanye stands in the batting stance, his stare unwavering. he has the same look as back when xiao first spotted him, but once again— xiao isn’t one to back down from a challenge. there is something about wanye that fuels the competitive side to him that rarely ever appears. if he’s got the stance down to a t and earned a batting position right after the clean up, wanye is definitely no stranger to baseball.

all the bases aren’t loaded, but team b will certainly get an advantage over them if a homerun happens. he relaxes his tense body as he winds up, stretching his body before executing a changeup. being a southpaw certainly has its perks to how different the changeup appears to right batters, xiao takes pride in this whenever the batter’s confidence falters as the changeup flies towards them. it just so happens that wanye is batting from the right.

“strike!” wanye completely misses the ball when he swings, and whatever smug remark xiao had in his head flies away the moment he sees the amount of force exerted into wanye’s swing. wanye definitely isn’t a normal player by any means, there are seasons of experience and practice poured into wanye’s being— if he didn’t miss that surely could’ve been a homerun.

they’re still far from done, though, and thus xiao simply maintains his composure and readies himself for the next pitch. chongyun positions his mitt on the inside, signaling for the two seamer they practiced earlier today and xiao’s eyes light up in excitement. the pitch has been effective against clean up hitters before— this would be the perfect opportunity to pitch against an unknown batter as practice before the fall tournament.

he feels more than sees wanye boring holes into his pitching form, yet he isn’t going to back down from whatever intimidation trick the batter was trying on him. the rest of the world drowns away and xiao can only feel just the two of them standing there on the field, under the sweltering sun.

taking in a deep breath once more, xiao turns his body while adjusting his grip to hold the seams of the ball with his fingers. he can see wanye’s gloved fingers tightening on the metal bat— for a split second he thinks he sees mirth dancing in his eyes, — then xiao quickly extends his foot and arm to throw the ball in quick succession.

when wanye fearlessly swings down at the ball almost immediately, it hits him that maybe he shouldn’t have underestimated wanye’s ability. wanye’s tongue is stuck out to the side of his lips as he hits the ball, a determined fire in his eyes as he hits it straight on with no hesitation.

there’s the sound of a clean hit that sucks all the breath out of his lungs as the ball soars in the sky. maybe it’s due to the lack of time out there on the field during an actual game, or never coming across a slugger this strong: nonetheless, the stomach dropping feeling of watching his near perfect pitch get hit in wanye’s first try is abhorrent. watching the ball fly out into the outfield, xiao can only watch on with a dumbfounded look as the world’s chaos registers back.

the ball flies towards ganyu and xiao can only hold his breath when his sister leaps in the air to capture the ball in her mitt, stopping wanye in his tracks before he’s able to reach the second base. she chucks the ball into the air with the hardest strength xiao has ever seen her do, allowing chongyun to successfully consecutively take xingqiu out at home base.

while the teams start to switch positions, xiao walks over to where chongyun is helping xingqiu get back on his feet. wanye is there, too, their gazes meeting when he comes to a stop in front of them.

“aw, we almost had it!” xingqiu sighs as he stands up. he then latches onto wanye’s arm and starts shaking him out of excitement. “but other than that, woah! wanye, your batting was insane! it was against xiao’s two seamer, too! are you part of the cleanup in your team? nobody has been able to get a homerun off of xiao before, but you were so close to doing it!”

wiping sweat from his forehead, wanye’s gaze trails back to xiao’s. it’s as intense as xiao felt it back on the field. xiao quietly huffs, wondering if the boy does the same with everybody he meets– or maybe he just has it out for him.

“i believe he’s a formidable pitcher. it would be an honor to get a homerun off of him.” wanye finally utters with an amusing lit to his voice, ignoring everything else xingqiu blabbered. in the glint of the setting afternoon sun, the undeniable mirth from when they were facing off at the plate returns to his unshakeable stare. a flush settles over xiao’s cheeks as he splutters from the unexpectedly bold statement. 

“sure.” xiao responds, before dragging chongyun along with him to the dugout. he’s wiping his face on the sleeve of his arm, hoping to blame the red flush on the heat.

“what on earth was that?” chongyun starts to elbow xiao and he squeaks out of surprise. “i think you’ve earned yourself a fan.”

“how? he nearly got a homerun off of me. that should be a blow to my ego, considering i’ve been trying to perfect the two seamer.” xiao grumbles. “what kind of fan says they want to beat me?”

“he obviously admires your pitching, he even called you ‘formidable’. that’s like, a big word. like the kind xingqiu uses.”

xiao shoots him an unimpressed look. “you can’t be serious, right? he sounds like he wants to surpass me. and to add on, if you just read the vocabulary list i let you borrow the other day, ‘formidable’ was one of the words included.”

“whatever you say, xiao.” chongyun laughs, lightly shoving at xiao’s arm. “c’mon, it’s my turn to bat soon!”

the rest of the practice match continues with the competitive fervor that occurred after wanye’s near homerun. he shrugs it off when the reserve pitcher gets called to the mound after a couple more innings, especially when he sees that wanye is up to bat soon. 

the dugout has a good view of the home plate, but it’s not as clear as it was up on the mound. from here, next to his squabbling teammates, the world doesn’t fade away like it did when he and wanye stared each other down. there’s no clear indication if wanye does the same thing with every pitcher he goes against— the reserve pitcher is too far away for xiao to see their reaction properly and wanye’s face is hidden by the metal bat and his helmet.

without much effort, this time wanye gets homerun off of the reserve pitcher, and xiao can sense the color draining from all of his teammates' faces. the only saving grace is that the bases aren’t loaded and only wanye is running a full lap around the diamond. it doesn’t stop team b from continuously cheering loud, and it certainly doesn’t help when wanye catches his eye as he’s passing by the dugout. he sends an egregious wink not too dissimilar from xingqiu’s own and xiao absolutely does not fume at the gesture.

from one good hit during xingqiu’s closing inning, chongyun helps to move along the runners on base and earn them the winning points. despite the two point gap between the teams, team a celebrates in loud shouts and excited cheers. even ganyu momentarily wakes up from her nap to clap, only to fall back asleep right after. he doesn’t think he’s seen their team so riled up from a team practice match, but it’s a nice change of pace.

they line up once more before ending practice, thanking their coach in a practiced shout. their coach makes them do it one more time for wanye, which xiao complies through gritted teeth.

one shower later, xiao is waiting at the school gates for his father. ganyu sits a bit further behind on the steps of the school, napping against the side of a statue. he kicks at the rock near his feet, mumbling at his father’s tardiness and how he wishes he brought his ds to pass the time. 

the rock tumbles back to hit the side of his shoe and xiao comes face to face with wanye’s eager grin. “nice kick.”

out of surprise, xiao jumps back. “why are you still here?”

“i’m waiting for my mom to pick me up.” wanye shrugs. “she’s likely late because she’s unfamiliar with the area. do you mind if i wait with you?”

“no, it’s fine.” they’re not on the field and xiao will most likely never see wanye again, so there’s no point in being an ass to him.

wanye visibly brightens and goes to stand next to him. now that he was up close, xiao notices they’re nearly the same height, save for the couple centimeters xiao has over him. he takes that as a small win.

they stand at the gate, the chirping of the birds as they flit by the nearby trees fills the silence. if xiao can name one good thing about wanye, it would probably be how wanye doesn’t try to talk or pester him with unnecessary nonsense unlike his peers at school do. 

he’s humming a quiet tune under his breath as they watch different cars rumble past the gates, a serene smile painting his lips. it’s completely different to the menace he was out on the field.

“did you really mean it when you called me formidable?” xiao’s unable to stop the words from tumbling out of his lips. he quickly slaps a hand over his mouth in shock as wanye’s humming stops.

wanye slightly turns his head to face him and the same look from before is back. his intensifying gaze is as unwavering as it was. “yes. it’s because you are. if i didn’t see the number one on xingqiu’s back, i would have thought you were the ace.”

xiao huffs at the obvious bluff and puts his hand down. “now you’re just making that up.” he rolls his eyes.

“believe what you will, there aren’t many pitches that are as difficult for me to hit. but for some reason, i don’t have a good read on you when you’re pitching,” wanye says as a matter of factly that lights more fire under xiao’s feet. “it’s not a bad thing, though. i want to go against strong players like you. your pitches were fascinating to me.”

xiao's lips slightly crack into a smile, baffled at wanye’s conviction. “if you’re planning on enrolling into chihu, then forget about it.”

“i’m not planning on it. i’m going to enroll into a different school so we can meet at nationals. i’m going to be a rival worthy of your best pitch, so wait for me.” the rays of sunlight filtering through the clouds shine down at them, highlighting wanye’s confident grin. “i’ll make sure i’ll be strong enough when we meet next time. i’ll get that homerun off of you— i promise.”

he doesn’t know when his heart started pounding in his ears, but he attempts to channel his best unbothered looking face and clears his throat. “okay. i’ll hold you to it, wanye.”

xiao isn’t sure why he agreed. there’s a simmering feeling in his blood that makes him want to latch onto this electrifying, air crackling rivalry. the unshakeable force that is fengyuan wanye’s batting skills have hit him like a freight train and xiao wants to relive that same intensity up at the mound. in his few years of playing baseball, no feeling has ever compared to pitching against fengyuan wanye.

a loud, brash honk from a car crashes through their conversation. the brunette woman inside the car waves her arms and wanye waves back.

wanye starts to walk to the car, until he turns around and faces him, beaming. “one more thing. the next time we meet, i hope you have become the ace of your team.” with a wave of his hand, he hops into the car, and it drives away.

xiao is still standing at the same spot, awe-struck, by the time zhongli arrives. 

he doesn’t know it yet, but wanye’s words end up sticking with him for longer than he expected them to.

his final year at chihu middle school went out with a bang when their baseball team won fall nationals for the first and last time. with xingqiu as their ace and xiao pitching as reserve, they were an unstoppable force at the mound. 

xiao will never forget the moment his freezing fingers were holding onto the seams of the baseball, the sharp whistle striking through the thick air signaling his last pitch in his time as reserve pitcher of chihu middle school. his body, strung out from adrenaline, had kept buzzing as the baseball flew till it reached chongyun’s mitt.

the following screams and cheers were deafening. it was almost as loud as the first time he watched yakshas’ ace pitch all those years ago. soaking in all the cheers, he knew he could aim for greater heights than that. an inkling in the depths of his brain unhelpfully reminded him of wanye’s promise and he quickly squashed down that thought.

xiao would be lying if he claimed he wasn’t looking for wanye’s team and had hoped they were able to meet once more. wanye had never told him his school, but they didn’t meet in any preliminary matches nor the semi-finals. he was a little disappointed that a team with a slugger like that didn’t make it far in the league, but at the end of the day, baseball isn’t an individualistic sport.

the moment they got off the field, they were swarmed by their teammates. ganyu leapt onto him and xiao hugged her back almost immediately, the both of them shaking from elation and laughter. he was impressed at her last minute role as the pinch hitter after their second consecutive strikeout— her long hit to the outfield to run players on base gave them the motivational push to win the game.

xingqiu then interrupted them and pulled xiao to the side, where chongyun was waiting for them. they huddled together and xingqiu had whispered ‘a scouter is here to see us!’, which nearly short circuited their brains from the bombshell he dropped on them.

moments later they were meeting with a tall woman with a long, navy ponytail that spilled over her shoulders, her red glasses tinting in the light as they stood under her scrutiny.

“the jueyun jian highschool baseball team would be thrilled to have strong players like you. do reconsider before checking out other schools.” she handed a business card and strutted out of their sights.

on the bus, xingqiu informed them of his findings. “i’ve heard of this school, they’re rather prestigious in terms of academics. i’m not sure about their baseball team, though. looks like they haven’t entered in any matches as of late. don’t think they’ve ever made it past preliminaries for regionals in a few years, too. do what you will with this information, but my parents are probably going to encourage me to go for this school.”

“i think i’ll go, too. what about you, xiao?” chongyun and xingqiu turned to him, anticipation gleaming in their eyes.

xiao nods. “i’ll go.”

late at night, under the glow of his phone reflecting back a video of their final match, xiao decided he would be the ace to bring that team to nationals.

Chapter Text

xiao is seventeen when his heart first pounds even faster than it ever has off the mound.

like xingqiu said, jueyun jian highschool is a prestigious school that boasts their remarkable alumni in all fields of work. xiao’s eyes nearly boggled out of his head when he found out that his all-time favorite pitcher was an alumnus of the school. he’d searched the requirements to enroll right after and had clicked out immediately after seeing the high grades one would need to even qualify for just the entrance exam.

nevertheless, with one call to the scouter, xiao managed to land a scholarship to join the enrolling roster after graduating from chihu middle school. zhongli took them out for a  celebratory dinner, and to xiao’s dismay, kept blabbing to anyone who would listen about xiao’s recent accomplishments. it earned him a free serving of his favorite tofu dessert, but even then xiao would’ve preferred his father’s home cooked food in the comfort of their home.

ganyu had been a little miffed that they wouldn’t be in the same school again, and he could only comfort his little sister by promising to practice with her every weekend if he had the time.

xiao’s first year doesn’t go exactly as he planned.

after a week of seemingly endless drills, a practice match is held in their second week to determine those who will fill in the empty first string slots. xiao, alongside chongyun and xingqiu, despite their first year status, secured those spots for themselves. he’s sure that multiple of his batchmates and upperclassmen are seething through their teeth, but their lackluster performance is not his to blame. xiao isn’t the ace but he knows it in his veins— the spot will eventually be his.

the first half of the year goes by with several practice matches with powerhouse schools that leave him burning with the thought of going higher than he ever has. their victories are only a few matches ahead of their losses, but the impact of losing in the finals of regionals — just one step away from the summer nationals— is still a devastating hit.

“it isn’t over for all of you! we haven’t had the chance to get past the preliminary rounds in our time, so we’re glad that you were able to give us a taste of what it would’ve felt like.” their upperclassmen sport wet stained cheeks and snotty noses, though the words they leave for the team only compel the rest of their team to strive and hone their skills for the fall tournament.

he masters his two seamer and changeup as the weather grows cooler. a second year is named the new captain, he does his best to motivate them out on the field and give them tips on where they lack. coach xianyun is there throughout it all and has them run lap after lap to up their stamina.

even with that and the team’s efforts, it still isn’t enough to get past the final match in the fall regionals. it leaves a bitter taste in xiao’s mouth to realize the truth, their team isn’t the best. most of the second years, their new captain included, don’t even play with the intention of going pro. they’re just hobbies to help relieve their stress from actual schoolwork, they don’t need even more stress from constantly losing matches, they say.

it’s a sentiment that no doubt xiao absolutely dislikes. how could you just waste away that talent? still, somehow he believes in the potential of their team.

coach xianyun allows the second years to study for their final exams before their third year and they don’t go for any matches for a while. so xiao takes matters into his own hands.

he starts batting practice at the crack of dawn and drags chongyun out to run laps with him to improve their stamina. together with xingqiu, they analyze their match videos to make notes of where their defense was weak and observe the abilities of their runners. after school sessions to watch powerhouse schools’ match performances become a thing between the first years when a couple of them join him in the locker room.

all the practices in the following weeks conducted by xiao at the helm led to the first years unanimously voting him to be their vice team captain. to his surprise, the captain and coach agreed to it, xiao rolled his eyes and accepted the position. someone like xingqiu would be a better fit, but through xingqiu’s insistence and chongyun promising he’d back him up, he’d reluctantly went with it. at least now, he had a reason to work the team down to the bone.

by the time spring rolls around, xiao enters his second year. he walks to school with ganyu, silently elated the whole time she’s excitedly chattering about all the new stationary she's bought. she decided to enroll in jueyun jian with him, like how it was back in chihu, and xiao is happy they’ll be in the same team once more.

besides ganyu, a new batch of first years, some of which xiao recognizes as students he faced off back in middle school, join the baseball team. they’re all revved up when the coach instructs them to run laps, signaling the start of what probably is the first years’ first grueling week of practice. 

xingqiu and xiao are overseeing the new recruits when chongyun nearly falls over running into the dugout. “i think there’s a new transfer student! in our year! he’s going to be joining our baseball team!”

he nearly drops the clipboard in his hands at the sudden announcement. xiao hasn’t seen him in approximately three years, but their meeting remains as clear as day in his memories till now. there’s been an itch under xiao’s skin to see wanye again on the field as opponents and face off his batting prowess. unfortunately, it hasn’t happened yet, what with their fruitless efforts to reach nationals.

chongyun continues, talking in between breaths. “he’s someone we’ve gone against before! with, uh, red streaks in his hair? he was really annoying, too.”

could anyone really blame him when his first thought was to blurt out: “wanye?”

a red in the face chongyun and amused xingqiu exchange unreadable looks. xingqiu speaks up after a moment, the corners of lips quirked up. “you still remember him? i’m surprised you keep track of all the practice matches we’ve had.”

“it’s not easy to forget someone who nearly got a homerun off of you after just one strike.” back in middle school, xiao was used to facing batters who couldn’t understand his pitching form. but wanye’s visit had set a fire under him, since then he’s been constantly improving to catch more batters off guard to prevent the same thing from occurring again.

“yeah, but that’s happened before, especially if you were off your game.” chongyun says, shaking his head.

“or exhausted as a result of overworking your body during practice.” xingqiu unhelpfully adds.

the urge to pull at their hair is near overwhelming, but they need to look disciplined in front of the new recruits at least on the first day. “is it him? is it actually wanye?”

there’s a blur of red from behind chongyun that runs off into the field to join practice and xiao’s heart kickstarts into a frenzy. 

the blur turns around and xiao feels his face falling in record time when the figure reveals themselves to be yip gaming from qiaoying middle school.

xiao smacks his head into the clipboard “you could’ve just told me it was gaming from the start…”

“i didn’t remember his name!” chongyun mutters, scratching the back of his head. “i just knew he was that really annoying shortstop that kept going after me while i was on base.”

the day ends with xiao forcing chongyun to catch for him as he tests out a new pitch to add to his repertoire— a sinker. not too dissimilar from a two seamer, he nearly gets the pitch down within a day.

“did you actually think it was wanye?” chongyun asks him as xiao fixes his grip on the ball. “i thought you told me he wouldn’t be enrolling in the same school you went to.”

xiao grumbles in annoyance. “why are we still talking about this?” he winds up, then throws the baseball back to chongyun’s mitt.

“for a second, you actually looked excited. also the trajectory of that one was a little off. you have to throw it lower.” the ball is thrown back.

“have i never been excited before? is there something wrong if i was excited?”

chongyun taps his finger on his face in a way xiao knows he’s ignoring the bite in his pointless deflection tactics.

“i was thinking about how i haven’t seen you like that before, i guess. it was different, but not a bad different! it’s like a, woah, xiao does care about some other players from outside our team, different.”

xiao mulls over his words, tossing the baseball up with his mitt. “i guess you’re right. he was a strong opponent back then, he must be stronger now. i want to know how he’s grown since we last saw him.”

“i’m sure we’ll see him at nationals. this year, our team will be stronger.” chongyun grins, positioning his mitt back into his middle. “you’ll become the ace who leads us there.”

xiao huffs a quiet laugh. he lowers his arm when he throws and hits chongyun’s mitt with a satisfying noise. “i’ll do my best.”

after the subsequent practice match for first string team positions occurs, xiao doesn’t know how to feel about their new roster yet. most of the third years have retired, resulting in their team mostly consisting of first and second years. 

one of the last third years has become the ace of the team. he’s up to par with the last ace, so xiao isn’t complaining just yet. he won’t usurp the position from his senior, though it doesn’t mean that xiao won’t work hard to show his worth as the team’s possible ace. 

he’s sure coach xianyun chose the first and second string members for a reason.

the practice sessions he’s held from the previous year are still conducted with renowned vigor in the new year. nowadays, they’re watching matches from teyvat’s nationals, reviewing the expertise and skills of the different teams that make it to that level.

seeing ganyu join with a couple friends she has made in the team makes him feel a little more at ease. she’s grown to become a strong batter and a reliable outfielder, it’s only natural she got into the first string— even if she wasn’t a starting player just yet.

strong rookie players he’s met before like hu tao and xinyan work well together with him during fielding practice to pick off players on base. many of his previous opponents are easy to work with, though he believes chongyun would disagree in regards to gaming’s shortstop position.

“you don’t get it, xiao, his throws are unstable when he throws to me! it’s like he’s not gripping the ball properly!” almost every day, chongyun rants to him at lunchtime before practice. 

xiao doesn’t get it, really. gaming is quick on the field and throws like his life depends on it, even more so when it’s back to home base. he acknowledges xiao to a degree but smiles a lot more around chongyun; it doesn’t seem like he’s trying to put chongyun off his game on purpose.

their team is strong when the summer air arrives, the cicadas singing into the air. golden week comes and goes with practice matches that end with jueyun jian high’s victory. the local newspapers have been boasting about their team, which his father prides on as he hangs another newspaper clipping with xiao on its front page.

he’s pumped up for the summer regionals to arrive— he strongly trusts that this is the summer they bring their school to nationals.

preliminaries and semifinals are easy to get past for their team, what with their strong pitcher line up and fielders’ synergy paved the way for their victory in each match.

standing at the mound on their final match, one step away from nationals, xiao carries the hopes and dreams of his fellow teammates and seniors on his back. his set of pitches are different and unpredictable enough to get him this far, it’s sure to work this one last time. coach xianyun made him the opener of this match and he’s planning on closing it. his teammates are right behind him and their batting lineup has done their best. thus, he proceeds to exceed everyone’s expectations and gets near consecutive strikeouts with all he has, down to the very last inning.

the last batter on the opposing team strikes out and xiao collapses onto his knees, the relief flooding him as he blinks back tears in his eyes. his teammates start piling up on him and there’s only euphoria overwhelming him as the same thought fills their minds.

xiao makes his debut as jueyun jian high’s new ace in the teyvat’s summer highschool national baseball league.

this year, it’s held in one of the largest stadiums liyue has to offer for the other seven nations— nantianmen outdoor stadium’s outstanding baseball field is one xiao wishes he could play on every day. it’s not as large as the pro league, still, being able to stand on the mound of a highly regarded event in the baseball world is an honor in itself.

all the seven nations have their eyes on nationals— it’s the best of the best he’ll ever experience until he goes pro. there’s history laid into the dirt of the diamond here and xiao will have the fruits of his labor pay off to brand jueyun jian high’s name there, too.

the mondstadt representing team is a menacing force in their own right— their team consists of multiple strong hitters right from the leadoff. their ace is an upbeat girl with a bright red ribbon adorning her hair, hyping up the crowd that could rival gaming’s chants since she’s entered the field.

they put up a good fight, even managing to almost hit a homerun off of xiao’s near perfect sinker. he’s sure he made a face for the rest of the game, however, deep down he’s amazed at the greatness in every player he faces off against as a pitcher and a batter.

his excitement doesn’t wane down for the rest of the nationals season, especially not when they win against fontaine and are next in line to beat last year’s champions of teyvat baseball summer nationals— snezhnaya.

the highschool representing snezhnaya is a nationally revered team, known to produce the strongest players that get scouted to join for pro level snezhnayan teams. he’s never seen a snezhnayan go for a different team, save for this one white ginger man he saw in one of liyue’s pro league teams.

it’s a daunting task to beat them. however, he has faith that a team unknown to one widely beloved by all, they have the upper hand. they're finally stepping onto the stage they watched from behind their screens in every after school session; they’re going to give it all they have like it’s their last match alive.

there’s the need to stand at the very top of the mound with everything he has. xiao has finally become the ace, he’ll show the nation the team he brought with him to nationals.

everything happens in a blur. knowing the batting ability of snezhnaya’s top highschool baseball team, xiao throws his hardest to hit balls— fastballs and breaking balls alike — like his life depended on it. 

his father is watching in the stands and his little sister is right behind him in the outfield. and maybe, just maybe, wanye is watching him from somewhere. he’ll watch xiao as the new ace, like he said to xiao that summer afternoon a few years ago.

it’s the push he needs to withstand the swift and brunt attacks of the snezhnayan players, striking out whoever he can and initiating double plays thanks to the infielders' astounding teamwork.

the moment he goes up to bat, the snezhnayan ace stares him down with a sharp glint in their eyes that makes xiao smirk in pride at his team’s current progress. losing to some unknown liyuean team will surely be a blow to their inflated egos.

the match ended after two tied innings, with liyue breaking through the matchpoint in the final inning. for the first time in jueyun jian highschool history, they win teyvat’s national highschool summer baseball league.

he thinks there’s no better feeling that could ever top being on the mound, holding on tight to the cheers from his home nation over the sound of his heart galloping through his ears.

it’s no surprise to anyone, save for xiao, that he gets voted to be their next captain.

“you’ve done more to lead the team than i ever did. that’s why i recommended you for the position.” his senior says, clapping him on the back. xiao chokes out a couple of words in return, grateful for the great strength his seniors showed until the end.

“number one, captain xiao.” coach xianyun gives him a soft smile while she’s calling them up to retrieve their uniform numbers. “one is proud of your accomplishments. you’ll fly to even greater heights.”

as captain of jueyun jian’s baseball team, xiao brings his team to nationals each time until he graduates. 

they make it to the fall tournament, which was held in mondstatd, before losing in the semi-finals to natlan’s team. they spend the rest of their time at nationals watching the other teams compete and exploring mondstadt city as they pleased.

somehow, gaming has convinced chongyun to go with him and check out an ice cream vendor they passed by outside of the stadium. chongyun shoots him a frown as he walks away, while xingqiu watches them with an amused grin. xiao makes a puzzled look at how xingqiu finds chongyun hanging out with gaming to be funny.

after eating a few local delicacies, xingqiu brings him along to inazuma’s match against sumeru. “it’s for reviewing purposes! plus, it’s not like you’d ever get sick of baseball, right?” xingqiu had said, whilst already pulling him back in the direction of the stadium.

sitting in the stands, the first thing xiao notices is that the team that represents inazuma this year is different from the summer. in the summer, he remembered the ace as a girl with a pink ponytail, long streaks of blue entwined in her pink locks.

this fall, the ace at the mound is a boy with dark violet hair and equally deep purple eyes, who gives off the feeling that he would rather be anywhere but there. he’s actively ignoring the tall, white-haired red streaked bulky catcher that’s waving at him from the home base plate, choosing to fiddle with the ball instead.

he’s never gone against an inazuman team, so scanning the field for any recognizable faces would be futile, yet xiao does it anyway out of curiosity.

as the game starts, his eyes go around each of the diamond’s bases, finding no familiarity in them.

that is, when he reaches third base, he sees a familiar red that makes his heart skip several beats.

“xingqiu. holy shit,  xingqiu, who’s that? the, uh, the third baseman.” xiao has a strong grip on xingqiu’s arm, his arm trembling as he continues staring at the figure. “please.”

“errr…” xingqiu pulls the booklet containing lists of all the players from the competing teams, trailing his finger down each name until he finally stops at a name. “narukami highschool, batting fourth and third baseman, second year kaedehara kazuha.”

“oh.” xiao doesn’t even realize he’s standing until he slumps back onto his seat. “i thought it was wanye.”

xingqiu bites his lips, eyes flickering between xiao’s sullen face and the field. “maybe wanye has a twin…?”

“at least his twin made it to nationals.” xiao mumbles, into his coat, watching kaedehara kazuha swing the baseball back to first base with a sharp throw before the runner could reach. 

subconsciously disregarding his previous plan, xiao continues to monitor kazuha and his performance throughout the rest of the match. not only is kaedehara kazuha a lightning fast thrower, the leap he makes when a ball nearly flies into foul territory is higher than xiao’s ever seen. his pitching arm’s strength is unmistakably powerful, he’s fast on his feet and has reflexes that could rival a cheetah’s— he could very well be the next best third baseman of their generation.

in addition, kazuha’s effortless ability to hit the sumeru ace’s breaking balls only goes to show his role as part of the cleanup. his batting is received with acclamation by the crowd, their inazuma flags and banners lifted up high each time his hits fly into the outfield. watching from the jumbotron, the grin kazuha dons as he successfully steals a base is dazzling— it’s reminiscent to wanye’s own.

narukami wins and the crowd goes wild. kaedehara kazuha is seemingly perfect in every way— he’s a prodigy in his own right, loved by the crowds and egregiously handsome. gazing down at the field, xiao’s heart still continues to pound, even if he isn’t the same boy he met at fourteen.

“you weren’t paying attention to the ace today. distracted by wanye’s twin?” they’re leaving the stadium, both of their faces bundled in their scarves to combat the cold settling into mondstadt’s air. they are to reconvene with the rest of the team at a local restaurant, so xiao has been engrossed in looking at the map on his phone over talking to xingqiu about his complicated (and frankly, unnecessary) thoughts.

xingqiu’s stare bores holes into the side of his head. “i was paying attention to him. by the way, we don’t even know if that’s wanye’s actual twin. it could be some other relative, for all we know.”

“of course, because there’s definitely a vast majority of highschool baseball players who have red streaks in their hair.” xingqiu drones, rolling his eyes.

xiao narrows his eyes. “xinyan and gaming do, actually. even narukami’s catcher had red streaks in his hair.”

“all i’m suggesting is that the guy down there could’ve been wanye’s twin, or even wanye himself. who knows.” xingqiu says with a shrug. he’s giving xiao another pointed look and xiao has half a mind to leave xingqiu stranded here in the cold.

“whatever, just drop it. i’ll watch narukami’s ace another day.”

“i was regretting not following chongyun and gaming to their outing, but this was interesting!”

“what’s that supposed to mean?”

“nothing!”

the spring regionals became yet another success under his belt. they spend their spring in the court of fontaine and xiao devotes most of his off-time going around different local cafes at his little sister’s insistence. 

tomorrow, they’ll be going against sumeru for the finals— thus, xiao indulges in ganyu’s requests to motivate her for tomorrow’s game. he won’t admit it, but he doesn’t mind trying a few cakes— especially after ganyu sent him pictures of the delectable desserts for far too long.

they’re waiting in line at a cafe, which claims they have the best tiramisu in teyvat, when xiao’s eyes catch onto a group of three walking past the cafe. he feels his knees go slightly weak at the sight of kaedehara kazuha from last season’s match, talking to the narukami ace and another player. he hasn’t watched any of narukami’s matches this season, but he’s heard of their loss against snezhnaya. it shouldn’t be such a surprise to see them wandering in the city.

they don’t go into the establishment and eventually walk away, but it’s enough for xiao to immediately collapse in his seat once they leave his field of vision.

the next day, if xiao makes mistakes on the mound that lead to a couple walks, he’ll blame it on the number of desserts he ate.

xiao attempts to not think about wanye or kaedehara kazuha for a few months.

he enters his third year and watches his seventeenth birthday pass by. his upperclassmen retire and a fresh wave of first years join them once more. it’ll be his last year overlooking new recruits, but he’s sure the next team captain will do their job just as well.

the time for summer regionals arrives. they nearly lose by a hair to a different school in the final, but with preservation (and definitely not the thought of a different liyuean school going against wanye, for that matter), they triumphantly come out on top— guaranteeing them a spot in natlan’s summer nationals.

they’re up against inazuma this time around, except it’s the team he saw from last year with the pink haired ace. the loudspeaker presents them as ‘watatsumi technical’ and he deflates a little in disappointment.

disappointment? immediately, xiao straightens up and refuses to give into those feelings. there’s no reason to be disappointed, even more so if it was over someone else who reminded him of a boy and a promise.

out of spite, xiao goes hard with his pitches on the other team straight from his first step onto the mound. he only feels a little bad when watatsumi’s ace approaches him after the match, courteously offering him her congratulations and asking for a few tips on breaking balls.

summer nationals earn him their second nationals win— going to nationals is a feat in itself, however actually winning against all the top schools in every nation is an accomplishment prestigious enough to add to their nation’s history.

still, after going to nationals in consecutive succession, xiao has yet to meet with wanye out on the diamond. time is slowly slipping through his fingers as their days pass; there are only two teyvat nationals left in the fall and spring until his time in highschool baseball is over.

he’s swinging a bat at the air near the field, the night sky slowly enveloping the sun as it sinks down the horizon.

if they never meet, then what? little kids make promises all the time and never keep them, he could blame it on both of their naivety in thinking they’ll meet again as fully fledged national level players.

his gloved fingers tighten on the bat. he swings his arm down, harshly, and the air echoes with a loud ‘swoosh!’ sound.

only one school can reach the top of their nation, there are so many factors that bind them to different fates— the chance of meeting once more was little to none.

maybe he outgrew baseball. maybe he forgot xiao. maybe he pushed his dreams onto his twin, instead.

…

is he really believing in the twin theory now?—

“you look like you’re about to murder someone with that bat, cap.” xiao whirls around and almost gets a crick in his neck in the process, his arm back in its swinging position at the sudden intruder. gaming raises his hands in record time, his eyes wide. “woah! not me, though, please!”

xiao sighs, setting his bat down. “i’d never injure our best shortstop on purpose.” gaming brightens back to life like a lightbulb. “what do you need, gaming?”

“nothing, i just saw you staring off into space with your bat in hand.” gaming shrugs. he stands next to xiao, looking over the horizon. “maybe some company?”

“i don’t mind it. just don’t go buzzing in my ear like the mosquito xingqiu is.”

“right! i don’t understand chongyun’s ability to put up with that.” gaming says, his mouth twisting in annoyance.

“they’ve been best friends for a really long time and chongyun’s just a patient guy.” xiao chuckles, thinking back on their days on the team at chihu middle school. while they’ve never really been a trio of friends, they had their library trips and snacks after a practice well done.

“chongyun? patient? not with me. he’s strangely annoyed at me nearly half the time we’re together, and i think his aunt hates me! it’s so awkward when she shows up to our games, ‘cause when i’m with chongyun, she keeps glaring all scarily at me.”

“his aunt hates xingqiu, so you aren’t alone.”

“that doesn’t make it any better!” gaming whisper shouts, dragging his hands down his cheeks. “i want him to like me!”

xiao frowns, confused. “but… he does? you’re friends, after all.”

“i mean, yeah, but—”

one of the first years scampers up to them, cutting their conversation short. “captain! coach is calling for you for a team briefing!”

xiao puts their conversation on hold and the three of them head back into the team’s meeting room. coach xianyun nods when they enter and xiao heads to the front. he’s still not used to the amount of eyes following him, even if he’s already stood at the center of a stadium holding more than forty thousand people.

“everyone’s here, so we shall commence with the briefing. recently, we had an invitation extended to us.” the coach says, holding up a purple envelope. “it is to participate in an upcoming two week long training camp in a different nation, occurring a few months short of the fall tournament.”

“depending on the situation, we could greatly benefit from it.” xiao casts his glance to the side in thought. some of his teammates are starting to whisper amongst themselves at the mention of a trip. on one hand it would definitely improve team morale and learning new techniques from a different nation could be an advantage to them. on the other hand, he isn’t so comfortable with staying in a different nation for more than a week.

“the senders are none other than last year’s fall tournament champions, narukami high.” coach xianyun pushes her glasses back with a finger.

xiao snaps his eyes back onto the coach. “naru… narukami high?” he bites his tongue to prevent himself from blurting out something along the lines of ‘the same narukami high kaedehara kazuha is from?’.

“yes. alongside a school from mondstadt, they have invited us to inazuma. accommodations are provided, and they’ll allow you to explore the nation in your free time.” excited chattering and gasps ensue, friends gathering around to whisper in each other's ears. “what are your thoughts, captain?”

“i agree. it would be beneficial for us to train with them.” xiao’s answer is quick, much to his own surprise. xiao’s brain starts to catch up with his answer and he dreadfully realizes that now, he wouldn’t be able to avoid kaedehara kazuha, or thoughts of a boy who looks too much like him.

“since the captain agrees and you all have performed superlatively this summer, this one will allow you all to go. one shall be the accompanying teacher as well. make sure to inform your parents and sign the consent form.” forms are passed around in the team, and xiao holds his own with shaky hands.

“in a month’s time we will be on a plane, so do submit your forms to the captain or vice before the end of next week. you are all dismissed.”

amongst the clamor, xingqiu smiles at him from across the room, smugness etched into his lips. xiao scowls right back at him.

to ganyu’s delight and xiao’s quiet shock, zhongli allows them to go for the camp. 

“if it’s to further your baseball careers, then of course i’d let you go. have fun, alright?” zhongli dropped them off, not without kissing each of their foreheads. 

ganyu hugs their father and looks like she’s about to burst into tears, but she lets go and goes to stand next to xiao. “we’ll bring you back souvenirs, papa!”

zhongli smiles. “i can’t wait. take care of each other, okay? i’ll see you both at home.”

xiao holds onto ganyu’s hand like they’re separately ten and eight again, waving their father goodbye as he drives off.

the airport is bustling at seven in the morning. office men drink coffee leisurely in their fancy lounges, the air cabin crew strut past in their neat uniforms and neck scarves, and xiao doesn’t feel awake enough to handle a group of more than twenty people at the airport.

through some miracle, immigration and check-in is an easy breeze for their group. one incredibly stuffy and restless flight later, they make it to inazuma in one piece and xiao’s thankful for the fresh air he finally breathes in, compared to the weird plane smell in the cabins.

ritou airport is surrounded by vivacious red maple trees, their leaves swirling down from above as they walk to their designated bus. he reluctantly sits next to xingqiu after seeing gaming grab onto chongyun the moment they clambered on, which he vehemently regrets the second xingqiu’s cheshire grin grows. it doesn’t help that xiao’s heart continuously beats like he’s running a marathon as they get closer to their destination.

the bus drives past a baseball field and he feels sick knowing they’re close by. xingqiu just pats his back in return.

their coach signals their arrival at the camp when she tells everyone to start packing up their belongings. xiao’s body feels strung out and drained when he receives his bags, meanwhile, his giddy teammates start entering the premises as their coach leads the way.

xiao walks in the back of the group, the weak feeling attaching itself to his arms and legs as they get closer and closer to the building.

the group comes to a stop. “welcome to inazuma! thank you for coming all the way here. i’m coach yae miko.”

“of course, thank you for your gracious invitation. this one is their coach, xianyun.”

there’s a bit of small talk between the coaches and xiao wants to stay rooted to his spot, but it’s futile when coach xianyun calls on him. he takes a deep breath and steps in front, feeling unfamiliar sets of eyes trailing after him as he stands next to the coach.

“thank you for having us.” xiao says, bowing. “it is an honor for our team.”

coach yae grins and shakes her head. “having a tenacious school that makes it to nationals almost every season accepting our invitation is honorable for us. i’m sure our team captain is especially elated, seeing as he pitched the idea to me. captain, come here!”

the air shifts the moment he hears one of the inazuman students step out from the group. xiao shifts his glance in the direction of the noise and gets the air punched out of his lungs at the appearance of kaedehara kazuha. regardless of feeling like his world’s been knocked out of its axis, xiao stands tall and hopes his eyes aren’t trembling when their gazes lock.

it’s his first time having kazuha’s sights set on him, but it feels like having his soul stripped down to its very core, like it’s happened before. the wild thumping in his heart isn’t ceasing, not when the rest of the world disappears into nothing when they stand face to face. kazuha’s eyes soften as he looks at him and xiao feels like melting into the concrete from having this kind of attention directed at him.

“captain kaedehara kazuha.” comes his voice, smooth and airy like the breeze. he holds his hand out and xiao shakes it. it’s strong and firm, and he hopes his freezing fingers can’t be felt.

“captain xiao.” xiao says, refusing to let his voice croak in front of all his teammates. “thank you for hosting us, captain kaedehara.”

“i was the one who invited you all, it’s no problem. and captain kazuha is fine.” kazuha winks, before letting his hand go.

“okay. captain kazuha.” he grits out, stepping back to his coach’s side. he’s ready for the floor to swallow him up whole.

“alright, thank you, captains!” coach yae claps, grinning. “the mondstadt students are currently settling into the dorms right now, so feel free to take your time to bring your belongings in and freshen up! we’ll reconvene in the evening as i’m sure it’s been a long day. the captain here will take you to your rooms.”

before they start walking, kazuha turns to xiao and holds out his arms for xiao’s bag. “let me carry it for you.”

xiao huffs, bits of his pride chipping away. the bag isn’t even that heavy, but he relents. “fine. here.”

kazuha beams and gingerly takes it, holding his bag in his arms like it’s the most precious thing he’s held. “alright, follow me, everyone!”

as they’re walking, they walk in step with each other. xiao doesn’t really know what to say, he’s never talked to other team captains outside of matches. but from a glance at kazuha’s face, it looks like he’s fine with just walking in silence. 

the baseball field they pass by is vast, it’s most likely a few metres longer than jueyun jian’s field back home. his mouth drops open in awe at the view, the endlessly blue skies are clear and all he wants to do is run through the field. he wants to get up on that mound and see how far his pitch goes.

“can’t wait to pitch already, huh?” kazuha’s voice filters through his thoughts, bursting through the quiet bubble.

“yeah, guess so.” xiao murmurs. “it’s a nice field.”

kazuha laughs, and they bump shoulders. xiao’s arm tingles from the contact. “i can’t wait to play, too.”

they reach their dorm and kazuha stands with him in the entryway as they watch xiao’s teammates excitedly choose their rooms. kazuha leans against the doorway, turning back to xiao. “so, who are you rooming with, captain?”

“with the catcher.” xiao says, silently doing a headcount. thankfully, all his teammates were present.

“ah.” kazuha nods and xiao expects the conversation to end there, up till kazuha says: “chongyun, right?”

“how do you know that?”

“i’ve seen your games, so it isn't strange to know the other half of your battery, is it? it’s been a full year since you’ve become a regular at nationals.” kazuha lifts his shoulders, shrugging. “did you think i’d just recommend any old highschool to come for this training camp?”

“you have a point.” xiao mutters. he turns back to the captain and raises an eyebrow. “and how about you? do you often wait for the other team to settle down, or do you just have nothing to do, captain?”

kazuha smirks at xiao’s snarkiness and simply leans back. “not really. i’m sure my teammates are waiting for me to come back.”

xiao shakes his head, a small smile forming on his lips. “you’d better go. i can handle my teammates.”

“i’ll see you later, captain.” kazuha does a salute motion with two of his fingers before leaving. xiao quietly huffs at the gesture, then heads into the room he saw chongyun heading into. said chongyun is lounging at the bottom bunk with a comic book in his hands, meanwhile xingqiu and gaming are on the floor of his room playing jenga.

“welcome back.” xingqiu says without looking up, watching gaming cautiously slide a block out from a risky position. the blocks look like they’re about to topple over, yet, it still stands even after the block gaming takes out. “done flirting with the enemy?”

“flirting? he was just making small talk.” xiao scowls, shuffling into the room to store his belongings. he nearly knocks the jenga tower over with his bag and both gaming and xingqiu shriek in surprise.

“okay, okay! i get it.” xingqiu has his hands hovering around the tower, gaming following in suit.

“and what are you both doing here? in my room?” xiao asks, taking out his spare clothing and hanging them in the wardrobe.

there’s no clattering sound or yells of terror yet when gaming responds. “playing jenga? chongyun wouldn’t let me take it back to my room, so i asked xingqiu to come here.”

chongyun makes a non-committal noise.

one exasperated sigh later, xiao turns back to face his friends. “you need to prepare for the meeting in the evening. not only will we be meeting with narukami, the mondstadt team they invited will be there as well.”

“are you saying this jenga tower won’t be knocked down by then?” xingqiu mutters, lying on his stomach on the floor as he reaches over to meticulously remove another block.

“your competitive spirit won’t let you.” they make no moves to get up and xiao pinches the bridge of his nose. “look, just go and get ready soon.”

gaming does the unthinkable and takes one of the remaining support blocks at the very bottom, thus resulting in both his and xingqiu’s screams when the tower subsequently collapses all over the floor. xiao grimaces, sending the two boys into a frenzy as they clean the blocks up.

once they leave, xiao lies back on the floor, staring up at the ceiling in a starfish position. they’ve only been here for less than a day and he’s mildly drained from everything.

“how’s captain kazuha?” chongyun asks, his nose still buried in the comic book.

“what about him?” xiao drones, unmoving from his spot on the floor. he’s starting to regret not sleeping in the plane when sleep pulls at his eyelids.

“i dunno, it looked like you wanted to say something when you first came back from talking to him.”

“that was before i knew xingqiu and gaming were here. it’s okay, i’ll figure it out soon enough.” xiao presses his lips in a thin line. asking kazuha shouldn’t be that difficult. maybe.

“we’re going to be roommates for the next two weeks, you can come to me anytime if you have problems, y’know. i get you’re the captain and all, but you are allowed to rely on your teammates, too.”

xiao stares at the ceiling for a beat until he closes his eyes. “yeah.”

“mm. anyway, is it just me or is gaming’s hair getting longer, lately? he’s been tying it up more often and it’s getting distracting. like, he’s never done it before so why….” chongyun’s mindless ranting continues on as xiao lies there on the floor, his consciousness drifting away.

there’s no telling how much time has passed just as he’s gently shook awake. xiao shifts in his bed, then blinks up to see chongyun slightly hovering over him whilst standing on the ladder of up to the top bunk.

“how did i get up here?”

“you might hurt your back if you sleep on the floor.” chongyun says with a shake of his head. “anyway, we need to get going for the meeting.”

xiao groans, the urge to sink back into the sheets clawing at his tired body. “okay.”

the cafeteria’s lights are blinding as they enter, the atmosphere loud and bright as students from different nations mingle amongst themselves. as chongyun leads them to their table, xiao tries not to frown at the number of stares directed at him as they walk past. it’s unnerving, but it especially worsens when xiao turns and catches kazuha’s eye from where he’s sat up front.

smiling, kazuha nods, and xiao can only muster a nod back before turning to follow chongyun.

they arrive at their table and xingqiu is there, talking with a player from mondstadt as gaming helplessly darts his eyes around the cafeteria.

“i was starting to think you guys were never coming!” gaming wails, holding onto chongyun’s shoulder. chongyun turns beet red in an instant and xiao looks around to check if the air conditioning’s working— chongyun’s aunt once mentioned his sensitivity to the change in temperature.

xingqiu and the mondstadt player halt their conversation. the player stands up, brushing at his clothes. “xingqiu had invited me for a chat, my apologies. i am albedo kreideprinz, catcher of windblume highschool’s baseball team.”

xiao’s mind lights up in recognition at the highschool’s name, helpfully reminding him of the mondstadt team they went against the first time jueyun jian went to nationals.

“xiao, captain and ace of jueyun jian highschool.” xiao slightly bows. “and this is chongyun, catcher. and it’s alright, i don’t mind if you sit with us.”

“i wasn’t aware that you personally knew any of the other players, xingqiu.” chongyun says as he and xiao shift to sit on the bench.

xingqiu shrugs, nonchalant. “i don’t actually. i bumped into albedo when he was drawing near our dorm. then we came here together.”

“and then i came here and third wheeled the whole time before you guys came and saved me!” gaming grins, holding both his thumbs up.

“what?” xingqiu’s graceful demeanor cracks and he begins to sputter like xiao’s never seen him do before, his hands scrambling for purchase in the air. “you didn’t even say anything about being uncomfortable! and for the record, we were just talking!”

while gaming and xingqiu continue to squabble, xiao remains silent as chongyun makes small talk with albedo.

there’s a tap, tap, coming from the speakers that makes every head in the room turn to the space up front where their coaches stand. coach xianyun stands to the side of coach yae and windblume highschool’s coach. 

“good evening, everybody!” coach yae takes center stage, her tied up pink hair swaying as she gives the room a once over. “okay, looks like everyone’s here. once more, thank you all for coming all the way to inazuma to participate in this two week long training camp. thank you, coach xianyun and coach venti!”

students clap and cheer, some of the loudest coming from kazuha’s table.

“tomorrow, we will commence our practice! and as a fun little experiment,” a foxy grin pulls on the coach’s lips, “at the end of the week, there will be a practice match where we’ll shuffle players from different groups and create three new teams!”

conversations break out immediately at the announcement, excitement washing over the room like a tidal wave.

it should be interesting to see a match like that play out, xiao thinks. there are a number of strong players in the room that xiao would like to play on the same team with, a few of them popping into his mind as he envisions what the roster could look like.

“now, now, calm down. each coach will be creating the teams, so make sure to practice and give it your all!” windblume’s coach cheers, throwing out a peace sign as he does so.

“your coach looks like a student.” gaming says to albedo, while looking at coach venti blabber on about drills.

albedo sighs, shaking his head. “he gets that a lot. if you look past his short stature, you’ll find that his training methods are by far the best in mondstadt.”

the mic is then passed to coach xianyun.

“not to worry, one will work one’s baseball team to the bone to ensure their exemplary performance for said practice match.” coach xianyun nods to herself, smiling.

xiao grumbles under his breath, knowing their coach too well by now to expect anything but pitching on the mound for the next couple of days. they’ll be running laps, fielding drills and swinging practice before he even thinks about throwing any baseballs.

dinner begins right after, and xiao spends most of it quietly picking at his food. he doesn’t feel hungry yet, not when he’s had his energy and appetite zapped up by the trip it took to get to inazuma.

he excuses himself from the table after attempting to finish his meal. sluggishly, he walks out of the cafeteria and into the resounding darkness of the night. narrowing his eyes, the lights are barely bright enough to light his path back to the dorms.

there’s a sinking realization that he doesn’t even remember the way back, not with how sleepy he was when chongyun had brought him to the cafeteria.

he’s about to admit defeat and shuffle back into the cafeteria, up till he hears a shout from behind him.

“captain!” 

xiao spins, nearly bumping into kazuha. “...yes?”

“it gets pretty dark out, and the lights haven’t been working that well as of late. care to let me accompany you on your walk back?” kazuha asks, in between breaths.

xiao frowns, looking at the barely bright path and the inside of the cafeteria, the muted chatter filtering into the still, quiet of the night. there’s a nagging feeling that tugs at him to just walk back into the cafeteria, but xiao’s tired body yearning for rest overpowers it.

“sure.” xiao tries not to think about how bright kazuha smiles at him. he stuffs his hands into his coat and follows kazuha out.

they’re stepping side by side again, despite how slow xiao walks. there’s a weird feeling churning in the pit of his stomach at the thought of kazuha slowing down just to walk right next to him— he’s seen how fast kazuha can be, why even bother walking at a snail’s pace with him?

at the very least, kazuha makes no move to talk. the hum of the crickets accompanying the billowing trees in the midsummer night, a gentle breeze kisses their skin, causing xiao’s drowsiness to heighten by the time they reach the dorm.

while they’re standing in the doorway, xiao ponders why kazuha is still there by the time he’s done taking his shoes off.

“thank you.” from where they stood, the realization that kazuha is a few centimeters taller hits him when he has to slightly tilt his chin up to face him. he’s slightly miffed, but kazuha makes another stomach churning inducing grin that could almost make xiao say something stupid. “are you actually wa—, are you actually going to be waiting here all night, captain?”

“tempting, seeing as we’ll be facing off on the field for once after a couple days of drilling practice.” kazuha says, teasing.

xiao feels a smile tugging at his lips as he crosses his arms. “and figure out the different sequences of pitches i’ll be doing? perhaps that is the reason why you’ve invited my team to come all the way here.”

“think whatever you want, captain,” laughs kazuha, before his smile turns disgustingly soft. “as fun as this is, i need to go back to the cafeteria and you’re in dire need of sleep. goodnight.”

he leaves without any of the silly winks or tinkling laughter, just that gentle smile and soft-spoken words. xiao absentmindedly rubs at his chest, pondering over his abnormally elevated pulse this late into the evening.

sleep overtakes him when he’s washed up and settled into bed, lulling him into a dreamless sleep.

xiao wakes refreshed the next day. the rest was well needed, even notably so after coach xianyun instructed them to run lap after lap and coordinate warm up exercises under the blistering sun. the field is large enough for all three teams to split into different areas, working on their respective drills. his body feels strung out each time they take a short break, too much to even steal a glance into the other teams.

the drills continued the following day, not without coach xianyun promising to allow them to work on their respective skills— be it batting, pitching or fielding— the day after. it’s akin to the spring training professional baseball players do at the facility in fontaine, a place xiao hopes he could visit one day as a pro player.

by the end of both drilling days, xiao barely says anything worthwhile during dinner. cotton muffles the thoughts in his head and he can only gather enough energy to eat his food before sleepily trudging back to the dorms.

kazuha follows him each time, repeating ‘coach yae will fix the lights soon!’; xiao is too exhausted to tell him no.

the walks are always silent, unlike the noise in the cafeteria that pounds nails into xiao’s head. he comes to the realization that it’s not like he’d mind at all.

perhaps, as the captain, xiao should be wary of another captain's attempt to get close to him. though, xiao can’t say he’s had much experience with befriending other people from outside his school, either. he doesn't have a problem with windblume’s captain kaeya per se, yet xiao hasn’t talked to him much to form a solid opinion. the blue haired, eye-patch wearing captain steers clear of xiao’s way, other than exchanging a couple of respectful nods.

however, narukami’s captain hasn’t tried asking him any invasive questions about himself or their team tactics. it’s only been three days of xiao’s time at the training camp, for all he knows anything could happen, lest xiao make any brash assumptions.

xiao gets the chance to practice in the bullpen with chongyun on their fourth day at the camp. their battery’s synergy has been improved over the years, especially in the months leading up to xiao’s ace position. it is only through chongyun’s guidance and calls during games— chongyun bringing out the best in his pitches— that xiao could extraordinarily perform at a national level.

the baseball is a solid, familiar weight in his mitt. xiao felt like he was going through withdrawals after only three days without holding one. they test out a two seamer and it hits against chongyun’s mitt with a resounding hit.

xiao winds up for another two seamer, until a rattled yell from nearby shatters his train of thought. “itto! i said i wanted to practice the four seamer, you idiot!”

“huh? sorry, bro! i was just distracted by the number of players out there on the field today!” an equally loud response, xiao mentally groans.

the other bullpens are occupied by batteries from the other teams, one notably containing narukami’s ace and his catcher. narukami’s ace, kunikuzushi, still looks like he finds his catcher to be a pain in the ass when he’s pitching.

“do you want to move to a different bullpen?” chongyun asks, glancing around.

“it’s alright. i don’t think there are any empty bullpens left.” xiao shrugs. “i guess this could be practice for me, too.”

“i guess.” chongyun echoes, going back to his regular stance. “this reminds me of when xingqiu used to stick around while we were practicing your pitch.”

xiao does his best to ignore the external noise, throwing his arm low to execute a sinker. it goes off trail right at the end and he grimaces. “at least he doesn’t do it anymore.”

“yeah, but now i have another nuisance in the form of yip gaming.” chongyun mutters, rolling his eyes.

“do you actually have a problem with him? i thought you were friends.” xiao thinks back on gaming’s conversation with him before the camp, of gaming’s hesitance on their status as friends. “if you have a problem, you better work it out. i’m not about to have the catcher and shortstop ruin the team’s chances for nationals.”

xiao attempts another sinker, only this time chongyun moves a little too slow and fumbles the catch. “no! i wouldn’t do anything like that. it’s just a personal thing, that’s all.”

“did he do something to you? or is this about how he used to target you all those years ago?” xiao deadpans, catching back the ball when chongyun throws it to him.

“i wouldn’t let something like that bother me. that’s a you thing, xiao.” chongyun says, looking pointedly at him.

xiao ignores him in favor of pitching another sinker. “what happened to the ‘we have to rely on each other’ bit you were doing the other day?” 

chongyun catches it on instinct. “ugh, okay. the thing with gaming is that he’s always trying to figure me out, or getting me to eat more, or making me tea. we’re already friends, so it just feels like he’s fussing over me!”

“it’s not like you’re declining his invitations to hangout. when we go for nationals you’re always running around whatever nation we’re at with him.” xiao recalls both him and xingqiu almost always sightseeing together, only because gaming and chongyun have run off without them.

“well, you see,” chongyun starts coughing and a flush forms over his cheeks. “i’m fine with hanging out, just not the whole… fussing over me part.”

“you should just talk to him about it, then. ask him to tone it down.”

“it’s not that simple. i just… i don’t know! why am i even talking to you of all people about this?”

xiao looks at him quizzically. “what?”

“you and mr. almost got a homerun in middle school. it’s been how many years by now and you’re still thinking about it.”

it’s xiao’s turn to gawk at chongyun, wide-eyed and red-faced. “how is this even related?”

“haven’t you asked him about it?” chongyun asks, standing up.

xiao’s not about to do this right now. not when the possible subject of their conversation is standing somewhere in the field nearby. “... asked who about what?”

chongyun drags his free hand over his face, muttering something under his breath before looking back up. “you know what! i’ll just go to xingqiu for these things until you get your shit together. he’s the vice captain, so it still counts.”

“okay. let’s just keep practicing.” the conversation is dropped afterwards, but it’s still an unhelpful reminder of the lingering questions he has for the narukami captain in the back of his head.

they join fielding practice right after, the sun hanging high in the afternoon sky. the clean up hitters from different teams stand on the sidelines batting long balls to the field, their team members racing across the grass to catch the balls.

kazuha is obviously there, batting next to xinyan and ganyu, and a stoic faced windblume player with red, tied up hair. xiao does his best to go in the direction farthest away from kazuha and attempts to avoid any balls coming his way, but it’s unavoidable when they always fly in his direction and xiao has the built-in instinct to retrieve the ball with his mitt.

that, and the fact that kunikuzushi is standing a few meters away and would glance at him every once in a while, glowering. xiao knows he could be unlikable to several people, his cut and dry way of talking and serious gaze make him hard to approach and even more so if you were an opponent standing across from him on the plate.

except the thing is, xiao has never talked to kunikuzushi before. they’ve never played in a match together, either. from the way he was yelling in the bullpen at his catcher, maybe he really did just dislike talking to other people.

a ball launches in the sky in his direction and xiao readies his mitt to retrieve it. his mitt covered hand is outstretched into the air while he runs backwards, his feet picking up the pace as he runs after it.

he almost catches it, until xiao’s back nearly bumps into someone behind him— there’s a ‘thwack!’ above him and he sees a narukami high player holding the ball. xiao whirls around and bows his head in less than a fraction of a second, the beginnings of an apology on the tip of his tongue when the player says: “woah, there’s no need for that, captain xiao.”

xiao snaps his eyes back up. “excuse me?”

“i mean, it’s no big deal. running into each other is inevitable.” the player says, tossing the ball in his hand. “there’s no need to apologize for something like that.”

xiao’s mouth closes and he stands back up straight. “i see…”

“anyway, i don’t think i’ve introduced myself before! i’m shikanoin heizou, left field.” he offers a hand, which xiao accepts.

xiao gets a good look at shikanoin. his maroon hair falls over his green eyes, and a single mole dotting his sun kissed skin, each of his bottom eyelids. his hair is long and tied back in messy strands sticking out the ends, which brings xiao back to springtime and seeing kazuha through a cafe window with two teammates.

“shikanoin! and jueyun’s ace! stop flirting on the field and get back to practice!” kunikuzushi shouts at them, his hands on his hips.

“alright, alright. no need to yell, kuni-kun!” shikanoin yells, fixing his cap. without breaking a sweat, he throws back the baseball in the direction of the batters; it zooms through the air at a terrifying speed. it could rival kazuha’s own in terms of strength and velocity.

xiao sticks around the same area while fielding, intrigued by shikanoin’s throwing strength and speed. there could be tips to be learnt by fielders— their reflexes and actions must be swift every game to ensure the safety of their bases. if the balls’ momentum breaks due to the blunder of a slow player, it could cost them greatly.

as a break is called, shikanoin scampers up to xiao’s side to compliment his throwing. in the corner of his eye, kunikuzushi is there again, with the same glare on his face before he saunters off to go sit in the shade.

“why does your ace keep staring at me like i’ve killed his cat?” xiao mutters, his chest slightly heaving as his body cools down from practice.

shikanoin hums, taking a pause from drinking his water. his cheeks are full from water, not too far off from a hamster. he gulps everything down when he conjures up an answer. “he looks at everyone like that, that’s just how he is. but if i were to think of a reason, maybe it’s because you’re kinda like a distraction to our captain?”

“distraction?” xiao repeats. “how?”

“he talks about you a lot, it doesn't matter if we’re on or off the field. it’s been picking up more than ever since you’ve arrived.”

xiao huffs, running a hand through his hair. “there’s nothing to talk about, really.” there’s only so much one can say about xiao. outside of baseball, he’s a terrible conversationalist. to add on, after a day’s long worth of practice in the camp, he’s been looking like he could double over in exhaustion at any minute.

shikanoin gives him a once over and smiles, shaking his head. “not really. kazuha thinks otherwise, too. i don’t think you’re a distraction to him per se, but i wouldn’t put it past kuni-kun to think of it that way. if it gets too worrying for you, you should talk to kazuha about it.”

and embarrass himself even further? no thanks. “okay, i’ll think about it. thank you, shikanoin.”

come nightfall, the night air has gotten significantly cooler. liyue’s weather has always been consistent throughout the day, it makes him long for the cool afternoons in comparison to inazuma’s searing mid day weather.

ganyu comes to his table during dinner and babbles about kazuha giving her tips for her batting, from one cleanup to another. her eyes light up while recalling the fastball she was able to hit thanks to kazuha’s advice, it briefly makes him reminisce of ganyu’s younger days before she could swing a bat as hard as she could now.

his little sister is growing up well, just like he knew she would.

the subsequent day consists of practice matches between teams, the mixed team matches following the day after.

their first practice match of the day is against windblume high. it’s different from their summer win the year prior, both windblume and jueyun jian have grown since they last faced off each other and xiao’s brimming with excitement to see how much they’ve changed.

xingqiu is the starting pitcher of the first match, giving xiao ample time to note his observations of the new cleanup line. they’re a strong force against xingqiu’s curveballs and cutters, xiao frowns watching xingqiu nearly at his wit's end before the inning ends thanks to the fielders quick throws.

with three runners on base, xiao witnesses ganyu hit one of the windblume ace’s breaking balls, the ball launching for several seconds of airtime before landing in the outfield. there’s a grin breaking across his face as he manages to return back to homebase, ganyu following suit.

“thanks for having my back, mei.” he ruffles her head out of a burst of sudden endearment. 

she giggles, eyes sparkling in wonder. “i’ll always be there to protect you, gege!”

standing on the mound as xingqiu passes the baton to him, the mitt and ball pressed against his chest as the morning air caresses his cheeks. there’s finally a sense of familiarity in a land far from home. he closes out the last inning with ease, jueyun jian wins against windblume by two innings. 

their ace, amber, comes by to greet him. her red bow hops on her head when she jumps in surprise at xiao’s compliments for her team’s tenacity and teamwork. she’s in shock by the time a blonde cleanup hitter arrives, thanking xiao for the game before dragging her ace away.

after a quick lunch break, the matches continue. this time, they go against narukami high. it’s nerve wracking, to say the least, more so on the ‘are kazuha and wanye one and the same?’ side of things rather than the ‘going against a team they’ve only watched from the sidelines’ part.

just like windblume and jueyun jian, narukami high are teyvat nationals winners. xiao doesn’t doubt the skills and ability of the team, he’ll continue to play like they’re in a real match.

one walk and one out later, kazuha steps up to the plate with his bat leisurely slung over his shoulder. there’s a smirk on his lips, which is vastly different to the soft and bright smiles xiao has been used to by now, sending his stomach into a flipping frenzy. he waves at xiao, before raising his bat to enter his batting stance from the right.

‘wanye also batted from the right’, xiao thinks, waiting for the signal from the coach. the memory is a little fuzzy now, bits and pieces leaving his memory as he grows older.

“play ball!”

it doesn’t matter, not right now. chongyun calls for a sinker with his mitt, placing it low. xiao nods, then starts to wind up. he watches the runners on base in his field of vision— runner on third doesn’t have that far of a lead and kunikuzushi on first makes no move to steal. stretching high once, he whirls back to home plate and throws the ball low, the air hanging with suspense as the ball flies towards the narukami captain.

it’s not a good pitch, xiao realizes as he stumbles back, seeing it drop far too early. regardless, kazuha swings, making contact with the ball before it bounces off the ground.

“groundball!” xiangling calls out from left field. she throws the ball to gaming, who rolls on the ground when he catches it to throw it back to chongyun at homebase.

in a split second, chongyun outs the third base runner and throws the ball back to xinyan before kunikuzushi makes it to second.

three outs. they switch, and xiao lets go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

passing by the mound, kunikuzushi rolls his eyes at kazuha while muttering curses. kazuha beams at xiao, only this time there’s a nagging in xiao’s gut when he replays the captain’s batting in his head.

jueyun jian wins by a point. it was another tough battle, however, playing against narukami’s strong players is exhilarating and he wants to play again. his leg bounces the whole time watching windblume and narukami’s match, unable to keep his eyes off of the field for more than a second.

xingqiu is there with him, writing down more notes for their team to go over for their next practice matches. around his chicken scratch writing, there are random doodles all over the page, decorating the borders and empty space.

“since when did you learn how to draw?”

“i didn’t.” xingqiu refuses to elaborate afterwards and xiao rolls his eyes at his silence.

kazuha is still an enigma out on the field, whether it was batting or fielding, it looked so effortlessly done that makes xiao the tiniest bit envious. he gets a homerun off of the reserve pitcher, drops the bat with grace and walks around the whole diamond like it was a piece of cake.

the nagging feeling in xiao only grows.

narukami wins and the day’s matches are concluded.

dinnertime is a chaotic affair when the three teams mash together to discuss their matches from the day, the atmosphere buzzing with camaraderie and laughter just after a couple days of friendly competition.

xiao picks at the food on his plate with his fork once more. he’s surrounded by chongyun and gaming bickering over something on chongyun’s phone, while albedo and xingqiu converse over xingqiu’s latest writing project. 

he doesn’t feel as tired today, pitching on the mound rejuvenated his spirit— but that doesn’t stop xiao from wanting to leave the cafeteria as quickly as he can. xiao is bored out of his mind; there’s no point in being here any longer.

he sees his doom arriving in the form of kaedehara kazuha when the captain approaches his table, holding glasses of cold lemonade. “hey guys! great game today.”

the drinks are passed around the table, a litany of thanks piping up from the group. kazuha joins in the conversation and well, there goes xiao’s plan to escape.

xiao stares at his own drink. “can i get this to go?”

“oh, are you leaving?” kazuha asks, handing a glass to xingqiu.

“yeah. i’m done eating.”

“sure, just make sure to bring it back in the morning.” xiao half expects him to ask if he needs company, yet kazuha only turns back to speak with xingqiu. xiao presses his lips in a thin line and tightens his grip on his glass as he leaves the cafeteria.

the cool evening air envelops him when he steps outside. it’s weird to not have kazuha trailing after him today, but there was no reason to expect him to accompany xiao each and every day back to his dorms. 

he stalls outside the entrance and drinks from his glass, hope kindling deep down inside of him. 

it’s stupid.

he knows he could ask kazuha for the company, however xiao refuses to do such a thing— especially if it was in front of his teammates.

deciding to leave, xiao takes his first step down the steps and hears the door click open.

“xia— captain xiao?” kazuha stands there, the light from the cafeteria filtering out from behind him bathing him in a gentle light. there’s a look of surprise painting his features. “i thought you left.”

“i was… just drinking my lemonade.” xiao mumbles, inwardly face palming because he should’ve just gone back to the dorm on his own, damnit!

“oh! are you heading back now, then?”

“i guess.”

“great!” kazuha beams. xiao huffs and starts to walk, his face heating up at kazuha’s visible excitement. there’s nothing fun about walking your rival team’s captain back in the middle of the evening.

“are you doing anything this weekend?” kazuha pauses, before flushing red that even xiao can see in the darkness of the night. “like, as in plans with your teammates to sightsee around inazuma?”

“no. i’ll just see what they’re doing on the day.” ganyu will be busy traveling with her friends to eat pastries, and with chongyun and gaming undoubtedly hanging out, he’ll be left with xingqiu. as per usual. “guess it’ll just be me and xingqiu hanging out together.”

“i see. before i left, xingqiu asked me where the best tea ceremonies take place in inazuma.” kazuha holds his chin, tapping his cheek in thought. “he said he would be going there with albedo.”

the thought of having to follow them both as they talked about books and tea makes xiao’s head hurt. “oh. guess i’ll be staying at the dorms, then.”

“you came from a nation across the sea, spent hours on a flight and spent more hours practicing in this field, only to spend your weekend in the dingy dorms?” kazuha asks, an eyebrow raised.

xiao grits his teeth together, mouth twisting into a frown. “i came here for baseball. what i do on the weekends is not of importance.”

in actuality, xiao wouldn’t mind heading out for the weekend. he had been looking forward to learning inazuma’s culture and history, simultaneously eating delicacies he most likely won’t get to try in a very long time. the only problem lies within xiao’s refusal to admit that traveling with another person is better than going solo.

xiao craves and appreciates solitude, but playing a team sport over the years has built a dynamic he prefers over being alone at certain times.

nevertheless, he’s not about to admit all that to someone he barely knows.

“well, as a local, i know a lot of the best restaurants and sightseeing spots.” kazuha says matter of factly, nodding to himself.

“it would be strange if you did not.” xiao laughs, shaking his head. 

kazuha comes to a stop in front of him, under one of the only working lamps outside the dorm. a halo forms over their heads, bringing forth an angelic glow that xiao can’t tear his eyes away from. as they stand there in the light, his heart quickens in his ear, the traitorous thing’s beating jumps through his shirt.

kazuha slightly bows and puts a palm to his own chest, before extending out his other hand towards xiao. a tender glint replacing the usual fire in his crimson eyes, his bangs lightly swaying in the breeze.

“what do you say we go out, captain?” 

it’s not supposed to be that serious.

the blood in his ears is a roaring tsunami. it threatens to pull him under, his knees close to buckling out from under him. it’s never been so loud in the silence, never been this overwhelming up on the mound. the sensation is all so familiar when he’s at the center of kazuha’s gaze, like xiao is the sun that he orbits around for years and years.

is this what it feels like to freefall, after flying away from what scares him in the ground below?

“today. did you hold back?” xiao asks, after a breath, taking one step closer. 

“hold back during what?” kazuha straightens up, dropping his hand. “during the practice match? i didn’t think you’d notice.”

another step. “normally, you hit breaking balls with ease. it’s like you didn’t even try to hit that pitch.”

“have you been watching my matches?” instead of stepping back, kazuha stands still, an eyebrow quirked as if he was challenging xiao to step closer. xiao can’t back down, even if it’s all so embarrassing to come face to face with the subject plaguing his thoughts.

xiao tilts his head to the side, smirking. “you’re a regular at nationals, too.”

“ah, i should’ve known.”

“you can hit harder than that,” xiao challenges. he steps the farthest he can go without their heads bumping into each other. their faces are hovering close, xiao’s head slightly tilting it up to look him directly in the eye. he’s just a few breaths away. “can’t you, captain?”

the rest of the world starts blurring away, drowning him in the torrential sea of all the unexplained feelings and history he feels between them.

kazuha’s eyes flicker between his eyes and somewhere below his face, though he remains steadfast on his feet. “if i give it my all and win the match tomorrow, will you go sightseeing with me?”

xiao bites his lips to pretend like he’s giving it a second thought, missing the way kazuha stares at the action for a fraction longer. “and if i win?”

nothing wrong with some healthy rivalry between them.

“hell,” kazuha laughs, running a hand through his hair. “i’ll keep you company this weekend.”

“and you’ll allow me to ask you questions regarding baseball.” xiao not so subtly adds. at least, if he wins, it won’t seem so suspicious to ask possibly invasive questions about kazuha himself. “and about you.”

“oh? how forward of you, captain.” kazuha smiles, his head tilting to lean into xiao’s space. “you don’t need to get me alone to ask me questions.”

“do you agree?” xiao rolls his eyes, trying to ignore both the captain’s teasing smile and the tightening in his chest.

kazuha glances down once more, licking his lips, then looks back up into xiao’s eyes. “yes.”

“it’s settled.” he steps back, feeling winded. however, there’s a light flush on kazuha’s face that makes him grin in delight. “goodnight, captain.”

his face is furiously hot when he leaves without waiting for kazuha’s response. hurrying inside the dorm, xiao slams back against the door with his back to shut it close. he slides down the wooden surface until he’s sitting on the floor, a hand clasped over his mouth.

kazuha has to be him.

the next morning, all the teams are gathered into the field after a hearty breakfast. their coaches stand in front of them, holding clipboards in their hands.

“welcome to the mixed team games! we’ll be calling out your name and your positions soon, i hope everyone’s excited!” coach yae grins, clapping her hands. “i’ll start with my team!”

xiao gets chosen to be a pitcher on coach yae’s team. he gets to keep his captain role, the same going for kazuha with coach venti, and captain kaeya in coach xianyun’s team. he’s standing at coach yae’s side while she calls out on her chosen players, creating strategies in his head based on their current roster of players.

their final line up is quite an exceptional one, he thinks, scanning the group. the cleanup are all strong hitters– narukami’s catcher and shikanoin are part of the line up, the red-haired windblume cleanup, diluc, included. fielding won’t be a problem too, with windblume’s center fielder’s skills and xiangling there, they should be alright.

“yo! jueyun ace!” the catcher runs up to him. he’s as noisy and brash as ever, possibly loud enough to be heard from the other side of the field. “the name’s arataki ‘numero uno’ itto! well, i guess kuni is technically numero uno and i’m numero dos since i’m the catcher and…”

xiao now understands the plight kunikuzushi faces while pitching. if chongyun was a blabbermouth as much as this guy is, he too, would be pissed every time he’s about to pitch.

“anyway, nice to meet you!” arataki bows, before coming up and saluting.

xiao bows back, only to be polite. “nice to meet you. i’m xiao. captain of jueyun jian highschool and pitcher.”

“i know!” arataki grins, giving him a thumbs up. there’s an urge to face palm, but xiao stops himself short of doing it.

a short briefing is held to discuss team tactics. xiangling should be able to explain how xiao operates out on the field, so he leaves the fielding to be handled by the windblume center fielder, jean. he heads off to the bullpen with arataki in tow.

arataki is a capable catcher, xiao notes as they practice. sure, he shouts “nice ball!” way too loud, but he catches the baseball with mostly no difficulty. as xiao’s pitching skills have refined over the years, his balls have been picking up with speed. in their team, chongyun is the only catcher to catch all of xiao’s pitches with ease.

shikanoin sidles up to the bullpen after a few minutes of practice. “how’s practice?”

“i think our battery will be alright.” xiao says, after throwing a sinker to itto’s mitt. ironically, it nearly falls out of the catcher’s mitt. he makes a wry face. “was that too low?”

“itto still has problems with catching sinkers.” shikanoin shrugs, leaning against the netting of the bullpen. “kuni-kun doesn’t do low balls, so it’s not something he’s used to.”

“sorry, captain xiao!” arataki exclaims, face apologetic. “anything else is okay, though. that was a nice ball!”

“mm, your breaking balls are something.” shikanoin nods, turning his gaze to xiao’s. “your pitching form is phenomenal, so i don’t believe you’ll have much of a problem going pro after graduating.”

“there’s no need to flatter the captain of a rival team.” xiao says, crossing his arms, slightly amused.

“i’m sure our captain does enough to flatter you more than our team ever could.” shikanoin hums, his smile morphing into a smirk.

arataki snickers at shikanoin’s comment. “oh, yeah! kuni never really gets pissed off at the cap unless he’s going off about how incredible your pitches are, which they are!”

“kunikuzushi is your ace, after all.” xiao shakes his head, sighing. “to talk about a different ace in the presence of the one in your team is possibly unnerving to him.”

“perhaps you’re right. anyway, the match should be starting soon. we should rejoin with the others.” shikanoin says, stretching his arms as he straightens back up.

in the distance, he sees their team milling around the field, demonstrating throws to each other and practicing their swings. he arrives shortly, nodding to jean and xiangling. they catch him up on what he missed, it’s straight to the point and informative— they don’t waste any time blabbering over certain details or add unnecessary quips.

“the hitters on the other teams mainly hit from the right side, therefore you should have no problem pitching to them. with diluc as third baseman, he’s guaranteed to act fast and throw back to home or first base. you can rely on him, captain xiao.” jean ends her briefing with a nod of her head. “any other questions?”

“that should be it, thank you.” xiao says, impressed. “let’s have a great game today, everyone.”

the whole team cheers in response. it may be a silly fun match for everyone, but to xiao, this will be the defining moment to end all doubts he has towards kazuha.

if i even have any left, xiao thinks, remembering their conversation last night. the image of kazuha close to his face pops up in his head and xiao suppresses the urge to pull at his hair. 

he needs to get this match over and done with, stat.

of course, by the curse of the gods, coach xianyun and coach venti’s teams go against each other first. their team become spectators in the bleachers, mindless chatter filling the stands as the match begins. seeing jueyun jian split into opposite sides is a little strange, but it takes him back to his first two years in highschool, playing games against his upperclassmen.

nostalgia washes over him, knowing this would be the last year with his teammates.

he shakes the feeling away, chiding himself for thinking such a thing when they still had a few months to go.

the match goes off without a hitch. as captain of jueyun jian, he’s satisfied to see his teammates work well with the other schools, the synergy remaining strong despite being opponents. as a regular spectator, he finds amusement in the little moments like albedo telling xingqiu off for monologuing to the crowd for too long on the mound.

the moment kazuha gets up to bat against xingqiu, xiao is rapt with attention. the regular grin he wears is still present, brightening when the narukami players on xiao’s team begin to clap and whistle. kazuha’s gaze travels through the crowd, xiao’s pulse racing until their eyes meet. the captain’s smile turns soft, and he does a small salute with his fingers, before continuing his walk to the plate.

shikanoin turns to him with a smug grin that makes xiao want to throttle him off the stands.

kazuha bats xingqiu’s refined curveball, one that even ganyu has trouble hitting, like it was child’s play. it’s not exactly a homerun, however it’s a long ball that gives kazuha ample time to reach third base with relative ease.

xiao’s mouth goes slightly dry at the display. he did it like the bat was weightless in his hand. he hit it without a single hint of hesitation in his body, like it was just natural for him to move with the wind and swing as hard as he could.

the next runner comes by, the ball flies a bit past the third base, nearly into foul territory. it doesn’t deter kazuha from running to home base. it’s a risky play to make when he could get outed so easily at the home plate, but kazuha still makes the leap and slides to touch the home plate, only seconds before albedo receives the ball.

coach yae looks over the plate, before yelling the result. “safe!” 

kazuha dusts his clothes and stands up, his eyes searching through the bleachers. he spots xiao, pointing at him with a finger and wink, mouthing the words: ‘that one was for you!’.

xiao scowls and covers his face with his hands, flushing red in record time, cursing at ever even involving himself with kazuha in the first place.

the match ends with coach venti’s team winning. coach venti sticks his tongue out at coach xianyun, who simply rolls her eyes at the action.

now, it's time to face off kazuha and play their parts in the bet.

seeing kunikuzushi and chongyun form a battery is one of the strangest things xiao could never have thought of. kunikuzushi doesn’t make any harsh remarks or berate chongyun like he did with arataki, simply choosing to cross his arms and mindlessly stare off into the sky.

“play ball!”

kunikuzushi’s splitter is the ace’s winning pitch, one bearing few differences to his fastball, that retires their team’s first few players. from xiao’s observations from national matches and watching from the dugout, it’s a fast breaking pitch that makes their batters swing far too early and strikes them out.

when they switch, coach yae sends amber as their starting pitcher.

“i’ll do my best, captain xiao! i’ll make sure you’ll be able to pitch with no problems later!” amber grins, before excitedly skipping off to the mound.

true to amber’s words, she persists against coach venti’s team, a look of determination washing over her features as she leaps into action at the team’s risk-taking runners. they successfully perform a double play after chongyun makes contact with amber’s cutter.

the only strange thing is that whenever it’s kazuha’s turn to bat, amber purposefully walks him. it’s a liability to have kazuha batting– holding back or not—, though he has no doubt in their tight defense to make quick work of him.

“a little birdie told me you have an ongoing bet with captain kaedehara,” coach yae croons, languidly staring at her nails. “so perhaps it’ll be even more exciting when the stakes are higher in the last few innings, hm? he’ll be itching to bat by then.”

on second base, kazuha’s eyes are hooded, his mouth pressed into the beginnings of an annoyed scowl. it’s like a storm quietly brewing, the winds picking up before they turn turbulent.

“...sure.” xiao finally replies, mouth twisting into a frown.

innings go by and amber’s performance dwindles as they near past the midway point, and coach yae finally switches xiao with her, sending him into the fray.

“i’m passing the baton over to you, captain!” through the sweat and panting, amber holds up her hand.

a small smile is pulled from his lips as they high five. “thank you.”

fueled by amber’s words and just pure spite to win the bet, xiao aims to strike out as many players as he can.

he gets a little satisfaction in striking out kunikuzushi with his changeup, remembering shikanoin’s words of xiao being a ‘distraction’. if anything, he should be glaring at kazuha, not him!

they’re down to the second last inning, with coach yae’s team pulling ahead. they have three runners on base, which makes xiao’s entire body tense from the pressure, but this is nothing he couldn’t handle.

with the last runner being another walk, xiao laments his stupid decision to even attempt the sinker, while the next runner comes along. xiao turns his head to assess the opponent, his grip tightening the moment he sees him.

it’s like entering into the midst of a cyclone, xiao believes, when kazuha steps onto the plate. thanks to xiao’s quick strikeouts, kazuha hasn’t had a chance to show up in the field— up until this moment.

the air is electrifying, thrumming with anticipation as kazuha readies his stance on the home plate. he goes into a bunting position and xiao scoffs, rolling his eyes. is this supposed to be his demonstration of ‘giving his all?’.

in this turbulent storm, the rest of the world fades away in a blur— only kazuha stands at the epicenter, crystalline clear. even in that bunting position, there’s a challenging smirk on kazuha’s face under the shadow of his cap that spurs xiao on to go with his best pitch.

time moves at a painstakingly slow pace as xiao begins to wind up, his grip on the ball changing as it’s hidden in his mitt. the stretch in his muscles when he twists his body aches in a familiar way, ready to snap into action as he kicks his feet out to throw the ball. his arm swings to his back, xiao bites his lips to ground himself as he throws the ball.

in the short few seconds of it flying across the diamond, kazuha’s stance changes at the last second. 

a fake bunt?

tongue stuck out at the corner of his lips, kazuha holds up his bat to hit from the left, and swings.

even with the afternoon sun above them, xiao could almost feel the winds rushing through his way from the force of kazuha’s swing. to say it was a powerful hit is an understatement— the ball completely flies out from the field and into the dorms somewhere, leaving everyone stricken with shock.

a homerun.

it’s a grand slam— all the runners sprint directly to homebase, kazuha included, cheering on while the fielders helplessly watch. kazuha passes by him, the smirk on his face growing more smug by the second as he walks past base after base.

xiao’s last straw is when kazuha mouths ‘you owe me that outing, captain!’.

despite the last inning, it isn’t enough for coach yae’s team to catch up to coach venti’s team. if he ignores the homerun kazuha pulled off, he actually had a lot of fun working together with his teammates. they were all extraordinary within their own right, it is no wonder they play important roles within their teams.

he tells them so, which results in a round of head ruffling after his cap gets taken away by shikanoin. arataki hoists him up onto his shoulders and their teammates cheer around him, making xiao bury his head in his hands at the display.

at the cafeteria, his friends ease into a conversation over the day’s matches, happy glows on their faces from the excitement and thrill of it all. save for chongyun, who keeps sighing beside him.

“kunikuzushi is a pain to work with. i don’t know how arataki does it.” chongyun grumbles, leaning his head on his arm. “at least he didn’t call me stupid.”

“if he did, i would’ve kicked his ass.” gaming replies to chongyun’s plight, patting his arm in comfort.

“you call each other stupid all the time, though.” xingqiu mutters, mindlessly jabbing at the carrots in his curry to dump them on albedo’s plate.

xiao picks at his own plate, half of his brain listening to the conversation while the other half flies off into outer space. the nonsensical chatter is enough to keep a part of him grounded.

gaming scoffs. “yeah, but it’s not the same. it’s cause we’re closer! if kunikuzushi calls him an idiot, that would be an insult.”

“and you? what place is it coming from, then?” xingqiu says with a laugh.

“i dunno,” gaming scratches the back of his neck, his ears flushing. “erm, a place of lo—”

“good evening, everyone.” kazuha seemingly appears at his side from out of nowhere, holding glasses of lemonade again. “today’s match was exhilarating!! you’ve all fought well.”

xingqiu makes a face at him. “it was definitely fun when you hit my curveball like it was nothing.”

“captain kaedehara, i didn’t know you could pull off a fake bunt!” gaming half yells, nearly falling over the table as he stumbles to get up. “it was so cool, you gotta teach me how to do that!”

xiao stabs his broccoli a little too hard, to the point it makes a scratching sound against his plate.

kazuha chuckles, passing around the drinks on the table. “i can’t do it all the time, but sure.”

“don’t you usually bat from the right, anyway? you hit xiao’s ball from the left.” chongyun adds, taking one of the drinks. xiao immediately perks up. chongyun is right, kazuha’s hit yesterday was from the right, too.

“i just wanted to try something new, i guess. it works when you’ve got something at stake.” kazuha hums, not so subtly meeting xiao’s eyes as he slides a glass over to him.

“it was a well played match, captain.” xiao says, accepting the glass. the ice in his drink clinks against the glass as he tips his head back to drink, though keeping a steady gaze on kazuha.

“what can i say? i did give it my all.” kazuha murmurs, leaning closer to him. his platinum hair falls over his face in this angle, his eyes hooded over as a languid smile pulls on his lips.

xiao puts his drink down for a second, rolling his eyes in amusement. “nothing less from a player of your caliber. to perform that switch at the last minute was an impressive feat.”

“of course, it’s the sort of thing you could expect from me, captain.” he’s slightly hovering above xiao as he finishes his drink in one go, their eyes never straying away from each other.

xiao pulls away from the glass with a quiet laugh, licking at the excess lemonade on his lips. kazuha’s eyes trail after the movement, his mouth slightly dropping open. ever so slowly, his face begins to turn red at kazuha’s rapt attention. is there a need to be staring this hard?

“ahem.” someone from their table coughs, making xiao and kazuha whirl their heads towards the noise. albedo has a deadpan look on his face, while his friends look at them with matching faces in varying degrees of surprise.

it strikes embarrassment into xiao’s heart.

"well, i'm going to bed, good night!" xiao stands up as fast as he can, ignoring the headrush, claiming his return back to the dorm and leaving in record speed.

he runs all the way to the dorms, almost running into a tree in the process, because of course the lights are still dead, and scrambles to get inside his room.

what the hell was that?

why did he run?

there’s a knock outside the door and xiao nearly screams in horror. his chest heaves with labored breath as he opens the door to his room, ready to strike the intruder with the baseball bat he found in chongyun’s bag.

“captain xia— wait, don’t hit me, please!” kazuha cowers beneath the bat where xiao has it raised, his hands covering his head.

“huh? it’s just you.” he loosens the grip on the bat and brings it back down, frowning. he helps kazuha onto his feet, stopping mid way at a realization. “wait, why did you come here?”

“uh,” kazuha stands up, rubbing the back of his head. “about tomorrow… are we going?”

xiao looks away, suddenly feeling embarrassed at running out before they could discuss tomorrow’s plan. “...you won fair and square. i’ll go with you.”

“yes!” kazuha cheers, a shiny gleam in his eyes.

xiao’s heart is all but strong when something akin to fondness blooms in his chest at kazuha’s excitement. still, xiao has his own smile when he replies. “i’ll be awake in the early morning, so just come by whenever you want to leave. in case chongyun is still asleep, don’t knock loudly.”

“okay!” kazuha nods, still smiling ever so brightly. if he was a dog, his tail would definitely be wagging at maximum speed. “you’re going to have so much fun tomorrow, i promise!”

“i’ll take your word for it, captain.” xiao says, stepping back into his room. “good night.”

kazuha looks at him for a beat, a glimpse of something in his eyes that xiao can’t quite read. “good night.”

he leaves and xiao closes the door shut. after changing his clothes and climbing into his bed, xiao clutches at his chest, failing to will the still wild beating of his heart to stop.

is he ever going to be able to be in kazuha’s presence without feeling like he’s going into a heart attack?

the morning after, xiao wakes up well rested despite the draining day. chongyun is fast asleep, at the bottom bunk, his blanket strewn half across his bed and floor. xiao fixes his blanket, muttering under his breath about chongyun’s terrible sleeping position.

he feels a little silly to get ready a while longer than he usually does with xingqiu. convincing himself that heading out with the captain of a rival school is drastically different to going out with a childhood friend, xiao decides to go with his nicest looking coat and a clean pair of black jeans.

he’s in the middle of fixing his bed hair when there’s a series of quiet knocks on his door. xiao grabs his yakshas cap and collects his things as swiftly as he can, taking a deep breath before he opens his door.

kazuha stands there, hands stuffed into the pocket of his red jacket. he’s wearing a red cap, a change to the violet narukami cap. “good morning, captain. ready to go?”

“lead the way.”  xiao says, stepping out of his room. the door clicks shut, and they both walk out of the dorms. they walk past a few players on the way out the gates, greeting them as they pass by. 

there are lingering stares on them, and xiao wonders if it’s weird to see two captains going out for an outing together.

while riding the bus, kazuha shows him the different spots in the city on his phone, giving him descriptions of each place to the best of his ability. they drive through the countryside, the pink and purple trees swaying in the wind as they pass by.

“we’re going to inazuma city, as its name suggests, it’s the main city on narukami island where most of the popular stores and restaurants are. it didn’t really use to be a tourist spot until a few years ago.” kazuha says, swiping through pictures of the city. compared to the countryside they go past, it’s a bustling city that’s reminiscent of liyue harbor. “our commute is pretty long, are you sure you don’t mind?“

“what other place could i even go to in this countryside if not the main city?” xiao asks, leaning back against his backrest.

“the closest place to the camp is actually my highschool, but i don’t think it’d be very fun to go there on a saturday… they’d just be having classes at this time of day. not that there’d be anything else interesting.”

“might i remind you of your win yesterday?” xiao crosses his arms, giving him a pointed look. “for today, i wouldn’t mind whatever place you take me to. i won’t go back on my word.”

kazuha laughs. “right! well, i’ll keep it a surprise then!”

“you better. you promised me a good time.” xiao murmurs, glancing away. he has enough faith in kazuha to take him to the good spots in inazuma, if xingqiu had the same belief then he should be in good hands.

the bus stops in a bus station in front of the city, and the immediate change from the countryside of the camp is palpable. the streets bustle with people standing by corner shops and street food stalls, throngs of tourists holding bags of souvenirs in their hands as kazuha leads him through inazuma city’s streets.

“are you hungry?” kazuha asks as they approach a building, banners hung from the overhanging roof displaying different food the establishment had to offer.

the restaurant is homey when they step in, lit just by the flickering candles in candle holders and jars. the lingering aroma in the air is similar to the pulled noodle soup from back home, making xiao’s stomach grumble.

kazuha only laughs and gives him the menu. after careful consideration and kazuha’s suggestions, xiao ends up going with the tonkotsu ramen. it’s filling and delicious, the broth enhances the flavors of the noodles and meat, it nearly makes xiao call for a second bowl until he remembers he needs to save some room for the desserts he plans on eating.

kazuha pays for his meal with a card before xiao could even pat around for his wallet.

“my treat.” kazuha smiles, waving his card.

“thanks.” xiao mumbles, pocketing his hands in his coat. it’s chilly today, which xiao’s thankful for, but his fingers have always been the most prone to freezing in the cold weather and it makes pitching difficult. they are walking further into the city, the purple pink leaves raining down on them as the wind blows through the trees. 

“anyway, here’s one of the first surprises of the day.” kazuha procures two tickets before him, waving them around in xiao’s face. “two tickets to the tengu versus ritou maple leafs baseball match!”

xiao’s jaw drops open. “what? how did you manage to get those?”

“i have my ways.” kazuha shrugs, smiling. “come on, the match is starting in twenty minutes! we should be able to get to the stadium in five.”

xiao allows himself to be pulled along to the stadium, noting the different banners hung on lamp posts with players from the respective tengu and ritou teams. he hasn’t seen another tengu match since he was ten, back when they were playing against yakshas all those years ago. he can’t remember the details of the match anymore, the thought of watching a match with all the knowledge he has on baseball compared to ten year old xiao’s memory does excite him.

inside the stadium, they sit in the row on the edge of the second floor giving them full, unblocked access to viewing the whole field. xiao has always sat in one of the farthest rows during pro baseball league games, there was no need for seats close to the field— but he admits that having to stare at the back of a person’s head if they were taller than him could be annoying.

“were these seats retrieved through another one of your ways?” xiao says, looking out at the vast field in front of them. they could see the diamond from the batter’s perspective, too, instead of having to view the whole game from an off center angle.

“maybe, not telling.” kazuha makes a zipping motion across his lips.

soon, the players are called onto the field. tengu’s team still looks the same with their purple caps, except now xiao can see their faces much clearer without having to look at the jumbotron. ritou maple leafs’ team sport red caps, similar to kazuha’s own.

“are you a ritou fan?” xiao asks, watching the players practice on different sides of the field. 

“yeah. been a fan of them since my friends showed me a match recorded on their tv.” kazuha takes his cap off to show it to xiao. the maple leaf logo is embroidered into the cap, the color close to the streak in kazuha’s hair. “i was already playing baseball as a hobby then, but i think watching that match just solidified my resolve to take it seriously.”

“i see.” imagining kazuha as a kid… xiao can only think of see wanye in his place. the short platinum hair, same red streak and red cap.

“though, if i’m being honest, taking baseball seriously wasn’t something i considered until i played a match against someone strong.” kazuha notes, before putting his cap back on. “maybe i’ll tell you another day.”

does kazuha know that xiao knows? he has to, doesn’t he?

but if he didn’t and wanye really is his twin, it would make the whole entire outing awkward. it has only begun and xiao doesn’t want to sour the mood between them just from asking one question, it could definitely wait until later…

after a lingering gaze, xiao nods. “okay.”

the game begins, and soon enough, it gets intense as xiao watches from the edge of his seat. they’re in the fifth inning, both teams still on zero points due to the strikeouts or fielding that protects their home base whenever they have a player at the plate. tengu starting pitcher kujou sara is a frightful woman who sticks to cutters and fastballs, the ball traveling at a velocity xiao dreams to have one day.

“fun fact, kujou-san is actually a narukami alumni.” kazuha quips as kujou stands at the mound and winds up for another pitch against one of ritou’s cleanup. “to try and bat one of her pitches, especially her shuuto, i wonder how much of a challenge that would be?”

xiao silently nods. it doesn't ruffle xiao’s feathers that kazuha’s talking about batting someone else’s pitch after supposedly going on that whole tirade to his team, to the point his own ace decided to sink his claws into xiao instead. it does not.

“but, you know. i don’t know if it’d be fun.” kazuha’s voice drops to a gentle tone that sends flips to his stomach. he’s leaning back against his chair, his elbow resting on the backrest as he shifts to turn his head and look at xiao with a look just as tender as his voice. “when i’m batting your pitches, it’s a challenge, but there’s something about playing against you that makes it so exhilarating. sometimes, it’s like i want to be my team’s only player just so i could be the only one to hit your pitch.”

“don’t be stupid.” xiao grumbles, looking away. he doesn’t like the flush forming on his cheeks at the praise.

“hence, why i said ‘sometimes’.” kazuha laughs, making quotation marks with his fingers in the air to make a point.

the match continues, and at one point kazuha leaves to buy drinks for the both of them. the ritou ace strikes out a batter, which allows the teams to switch positions once more. there’s a disgruntled look on kujou’s face when she steps out back onto the mound. xiao resonates with the feeling of making absolutely no progress when their team is batting on the plate and having to immediately defend their bases right after.

kujou throws three fast balls that result in one strike and two balls. if xiao were in that position, he’d throw a breaking ball to shut down the possibility of a walk, and perhaps switch up pitch to a vastly different one to add on the unpredictability.

kujou throws, except the ball breaks into the strike zone instead of out like her previous pitches. 

it’s the shuuto kazuha mentioned.

turns out, even if it is an inside pitch, the ritou player up on the plate disregards it. with one swing of his bat, xiao watches in awe at the amount of air time it has until the ball flies away somewhere into the stands on the right side of the field. the jumbotron focuses on the person who retrieved it, and the familiar platinum hair and the crimson red of kazuha’s cap and eyes is a blow of complete surprise to xiao.

amongst the people cheering and trying to get themselves onto the screen, kazuha holds two drinks in his left arm while he’s holding his cap with the ball in it, beaming enough to rival the midday sun as he waves the cap in his hand at the camera.

“woah, the young boy who caught the ball with such ease while carrying two drinks is sure to be an outstanding player in his own highschool team!” the announcers comment, the sound reverberating across the whole field. “he could even grow to become a professional player when he grows older!”

xiao is still in disbelief when kazuha returns, still holding the drinks and ball. “how did you manage to catch that while holding two drinks?”

“the moment i realized the ball was actively flying in my direction, i just crushed the drinks to my chest and used my cap like a mitt.” kazuha says, like it was the easiest thing in the world to just do.

he sits back down and xiao examines the cup, which looks relatively unscathed from kazuha’s crushing. “perhaps your role as third baseman prepared you for this moment.”

“perhaps.” kazuha grins. then, he leans into xiao’s space to whisper into his ear, his breath warm and leaving goosebumps in its wake. “for you, captain.”

the baseball is placed gingerly into xiao’s palm, kazuha closing each of xiao’s fingers over it with his own. his touch is featherlight, but it's all xiao can focus on, the baseball being the only barrier between their palms. it’s like a century has passed, xiao’s fingers are freezing by the time kazuha pulls away and his heart hammers in his chest louder than the crowd around them would ever be.

the game ends with ritou maple leafs winning. kazuha is ecstatic as they leave the stadium, his body seemingly buzzing with energy as he recounts the match. he makes xiao take a picture with him outside, making excuses about how this should be something they should commemorate, even more so since kazuha caught the ball.

they stand in view of the stadium, the baseball in xiao’s hand as he extends it to the camera. xiao is all but relaxed when kazuha pulls him closer to get him in the frame of his phone. 

kazuha shows him the picture and he wrinkles his nose in distaste at the stiff smile he has. “sorry, i find it difficult to smile unprompted.”

“i understand. it’s no problem, really. seeing your smile in person is enough for me.” kazuha nods, grinning down at the picture. “i’m treasuring this!”

“surely, we can take a better one another time…”

“oh, so you don’t mind taking another one later?”

xiao chews his lips, pondering over the thought. “... i suppose not. i’m only agreeing to it because you won.”

“you make it sound like i’m forcing you to do it.” kazuha frowns, pocketing his phone. “i don’t really want to do anything you don’t like.”

“...” xiao looks down at his feet, toeing the brick path. it’s awkward now, great job, xiao. kazuha would obviously feel uncomfortable if xiao just related everything he was agreeing with to his loss in the match.

“look, i’m not doing this because i won.” kazuha murmurs, stepping closer to him. “i said i’d show you a good time, but if you don’t like something, i’d drop it. if it’s not making you happy, then it means i’m doing something wrong.”

xiao looks up, frowning. “i’m sorry, i just… i didn’t think you’d care about how i’d feel since you won the bet.” they were captains from rival schools, kazuha could’ve used the situation to gain a leverage over xiao— it was a possibility that lingered at the back of xiao’s mind that refused to disappear even after kazuha’s continued kindness in the last week. is it because of his identity as wanye that made xiao doubt kazuha’s intentions?

“what? who cares if i won the bet, of course i’d care about you. you’re… you’re someone i care about.”

“we barely know each other.”

“yeah, but…. i… i—i’m the host here!” kazuha blurts out, his eyes darting everywhere but at xiao.

“okay, i apologize for how i was behaving. maybe i was being too cautious.” xiao sighs, crossing his arms. “if you don’t mind, maybe we could eat some dessert…?”

the tense atmosphere dissipates and kazuha perks right back up. “hell yeah! what are you up for?”

after taking another quick bus ride, kazuha takes him to the tenryou commercial district. street food is plentiful, from fried food to small desserts— kazuha makes sure to buy whatever xiao finds himself leaning towards despite xiao’s adamant refusals. 

they buy different snacks from each stall, ‘so you have a variety of food to choose from!’ is kazuha’s excuse, but xiao knows it’s his own way of sneaking in more snacks for him to try. 

“you should try this! it’s dango! one of my favorite sweet treats.” kazuha waves around tri-colored rice balls stuck on a stick in front of his face. xiao is holding a cup of chicken karaage in one hand and red bean filling taiyaki in the other; he’s close to becoming full but as it turns out, xiao can’t ever really say no to desserts.

“okay. hold my cup for me.” xiao holds out his karaage.

kazuha makes no move to get it. “just bite it! i won’t try stabbing you with the stick, promise.”

“fine.” xiao rolls his eyes and leans forward to kazuha’s hand. he looks up at kazuha when he bites a part of the first pink rice ball off.

kazuha visibly swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “you… you can just take that one. i’ll eat the rest.”

“you sure? you look like you want more of it.” xiao says, chewing on the rice ball. it’s chewy and just the right amount of sweetness to xiao’s liking.

“yeah. if it isn’t enough, i could always just buy another stick.” he’s staring so intently at the dango. his hands are shaking the tiniest bit that worries xiao for the safety of his lips, so xiao tucks the karaage cup and taiyaki into his right arm as he takes hold of kazuha’s hand. 

slowly biting down on the pink rice ball and pulling it off the stick with his teeth, xiao’s eyes flicker up, meeting kazuha’s dango-wanton gaze.

… does he like dango that much?

once it’s off the stick, xiao has to puff his cheeks out to chew the whole thing properly. 

it’s like a spell breaks from within kazuha when he suddenly bursts into a fit of giggles. “you look so cu— funny! almost like a tanuki.”

xiao only continues chewing, his eyebrows furrowed as he focuses on breaking down the chewy rice ball. it’s a real workout for his jaw and xiao’s glad kazuha didn’t make him eat the whole thing. just one rice ball is enough.

the cloudless cerulean sky begins to melt into a soft pink and orange hue when they’re on the bus after their streetfood visit. the moment they stop at the foot of a mountain, xiao feels dread settle into the pit of his gut.

“you’re not making me hike all the way up the mountain, are you?” they walk through the side of the path of torii gates, candles flickering in the gentle breeze lighting their way up a path.

“for what purposes?” kazuha says, amused. “hang gliding?” xiao shoots him a hardened stare and kazuha raises his hands in defense. “i’m joking. it’s actually just up ahead.”

a bigger torii gate greets them as they enter a shrine, stone laden path leading them to the offertory box in the main building. a large sakura tree looms behind it, the cherry blossom petals breezing past them as the wind carries them below. there are smaller shrines and statues of inazuman deities in the area as they walk past, shrine maidens and people milling about.

“the grand narukami shrine is inazuma’s largest shrine.” kazuha explains as they approach the offertory box. “all the shrine maidens in inazuma are basically trained here, and even if they end up tending to different shrines in inazuma, they’ll always be associated with this shrine.”

kazuha hands a coin to him, before tossing one of his own into the offertory box. “just to pay respects to the kami.”

he pulls at the rope to ring the bell and bows, proceeding to clap twice and clasp his hands together. xiao follows suit, and they both bow deeply one last time.

“alright! wanna write some wishes on the prayer plaques?” kazuha drags him over to the stand adorned with blank pentagonal wooden plaques. “it’s a part of inazuman tradition, we could either draw or write our wish and pray for it to come true. we can hang it up on the prayer rack right after.”

xiao rubs at his arm, looking at the wooden plaques. “i’m not the best at drawing…”

“as long as you know what you’re wishing for, the kami are still willing to bless you.” kazuha buys two prayer plaques from the stand. he retrieves a couple of permanent markers for them, and hands one over to him. “and like i said, you don’t have to draw, writing’s just fine, too.”

while kazuha has already begun to draw on his, xiao stares at his blank plaque. what would he wish for…?

for his father’s everlasting good health? for the kami to watch over ganyu whenever he couldn’t?

xiao closes his eyes, thinking back to when he was ten and leaning over the edge of the balcony at a stadium, witnessing the shooting star launch itself from yakshas’ ace.

on his plaque, xiao drags his marker on the wooden surface. his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, meanwhile his hand struggles to properly draw a cap. he adds crude stick figures of family to his left, smiling.

there’s empty space to his right. it’s enough space to add one more drawing. xiao chews at his bottom lip as he adds one last stick figure, adding their features with no hesitation. once he’s satisfied with his work, he writes a sentence above the drawing just for emphasis.

“i’m done.” xiao says, clicking the marker cap close. kazuha is still scrawling his marker on his own plaque, his tongue peeking out from the corner of his lips. “i’m hanging up mine first.”

kazuha nods furiously, though his eyes are still glued to the plaque. his focus is as intense as it is when he’s batting out on the field, xiao notes, smiling amusedly. 

examining the prayer rack, there are many plaques hung from inazumans and travelers alike. the prayers range from wishes of good health and riches, to childrens’ drawings of passing exams or a toy they want to purchase. 

xiao brushes a thumb over the plaque, feeling a little ridiculous for his wish, but it’s not like it would be bound to be granted by the kami. but that is the point of a wish, isn’t it? amongst the wooden plaques of old and new, xiao chooses to hang his in the middle row, carefully hanging the rope loop onto the metal hook.

he stands there looking at the plaque, long enough for kazuha to come up beside him. “have you hung yours?”

xiao points over to his. “it’s there.”

“oh, it’s directly in the middle!” kazuha hangs his next to xiao’s, the plaques clinking against each other. “so, what’s your wish?”

“it’s predictable.” xiao shrugs. “i wished to go pro and become the ace.”

“it’s not a bad dream, though. with your proficiency in pitching, i’m sure you’ll get there in no time. and who are these people beside you?”

xiao huffs, looking up at the cherry blossoms. “my family. and you. only because you seem to be a huge fan of my pitching, from what your teammates tell me.”

kazuha is silent, and suddenly, the awkwardness becomes prevalent when kazuha continues to say nothing. xiao looks back down to see kazuha’s attention situated on his plaque.

in kazuha’s plaque, there’s a drawing of what he thinks is kazuha, standing together with a crowd of people, next to another person.

“that’s you.” kazuha muses from beside him.

xiao head snaps to the side to look at kazuha. so he put xiao in his plaque, too? “why?”

“i never used to want anything huge out of life, but i’ve recently realized my biggest dream and wish.” kazuha murmurs, his eyes settling over xiao. they face the setting sun, a warm glow casts over kazuha’s figure, bathing him in the evening light. there’s resolute conviction laced in his voice when he says: “i wished for the both of us to go pro, and face off each other out on the field. i wished for us both to be referred to as the greatest rivals of all time.”

a flashback reel plays in his mind, bringing him back in time when they stood in front of chihu middle school’s gates, kazuha has the same radiant smile that wanye had. “i’m going to be a rival worthy of your best pitch, so wait for me.”

there’s a weak feeling in his knees threatening to pull him under. the tsunami’s wave looms over his head, to wait for him to break under the pressure. his chest hurts from how tight he is, at the furious way it hammers like it’s trying to break free from xiao’s body. 

xiao crushes his hands against his chest, nearly crumpling over, as the feelings he’s been trying to put into words for so long claw their way out of his throat. “you know, i’ve waited for you, all these years. are you really trying to make me wait again?”

kazuha’s eyes widened for a quick second, though it’s gone as quickly as it came. “i promised you, didn’t i?”

the tsunami is teetering on the edge of crashing over him, and his fingers are frozen to the touch. his voice comes out in a breathless rasp. “i do, fengyuan wanye.”

“we’ve been loitering in front of the prayer racks for a while now, so let’s go sit somewhere, okay?” his head is numb and full of cotton as kazuha leads him to a bench overlooking the beach, the sun now setting over in the horizon. 

kazuha doesn’t sit down next to him and turns, which makes xiao grab onto the sleeve of his jacket, his heart jumping in his chest at the impulsive action. “don’t… go.”

“i’m just leaving to get hot drinks for us. it gets chilly in this area whenever dusk arrives.” kazuha says, gently rubbing xiao’s arm. “i’ll be back.”

while kazuha leaves, xiao is left to fester in his thoughts. why on earth did he do that? does he really have that strong of an attachment to wanye after just one match, to the point he was nearly doubling over in a public shrine when he’s found him again? it wasn’t even that long ago… it’d just been nearly four years, what the actual hell is wrong with him?

the waves nearby lazily lap at the sandy shores, in contrast to the tempestuous storm that was his feelings. kazuha returns not a moment later, two steaming cups in his hands.

“it’s green tea.” kazuha gives him one, which xiao takes with both of his hands. “your hands are freezing.”

“it’s cold.” from nervousness, he doesn’t say.

“unfortunately, i didn’t bring gloves today. i hope the drink suffices.” kazuha says, sitting down on the bench next to him.

xiao stares out into the sea in front of them, taking a small sip from the cup. it warms his body, but his fingers remain cold. “so you really are fengyuan wanye.”

“i didn’t know how to bring it up. it’s a weak excuse, but i thought you forgot about me.” kazuha replies, his voice painfully soft at the end of his sentence. as if he really believed it. “i first saw you again when you went to nationals in your second year, while narukami was still stuck getting disqualified in regionals. that was of course, until we went there in the fall of last year.”

xiao purses his lips in thought. it would explain why he never saw kazuha around. “did you move homes?”

“i’ve always lived in inazuma.”

“what?” xiao turns to look at him, surprised. kazuha eyes are on the waves crashing onto the shore, his face an unreadable expression. “but you… back then, you introduced yourself as fengyuan wanye.”

“it’s what my moms tell me to do whenever we’re in liyue.” kazuha shrugs, nonchalant, like it isn’t a huge bombshell for xiao. “it’s their home nation and they often have business there, and they bring me along sometimes. in the end, they decided it’d be easier if i introduced myself in liyuean too.”

“so if i knew your name was kaedehara kazuha, we could’ve met a lot sooner?” xiao mutters under his breath, running his free hand through his hair. “and you played along with my confusion this whole time because you thought i didn’t remember?”

“in my defense, we were fourteen. even though i knew you through your evolved pitches on the mound, i didn’t truly know the you of today.” kazuha finally tears his gaze away from the sea, his head tilting back against the headrest when he truly looks at xiao. “i… i was scared you would’ve just brushed me away as that child with stupid little dreams. i wanted to be acknowledged by you without forcing you to feel bad for my childish wishes.”

“you’re so stupid.” he hears himself say, unable to stop the words from stumbling out. “if you told me from the start, i would’ve understood.”

kazuha laughs. “yeah. i guess i am quite stupid.”

xiao huffs, finishing his drink. “you made me look stupid, too. i really thought you had a twin. it was xingqiu who put that dumb idea into my head.”

“so you were referring to me as wanye’s twin this whole time?” kazuha sports a silly lopsided grin, a teasing lilt to his words.

“sometimes. but a part of me believed that the ‘real’ you was still out there, somewhere. i just wanted to see you again,” xiao mumbles, lolling his head to the side to avoid kazuha’s gaze. “as embarrassing as it is to admit it.”

“then i guess we’re in the same boat,” kazuha says, his voice dropping into that tender, longing tone that draws xiao in. xiao turns his head and kazuha is closer than he remembers. their eyes meet and kazuha’s stare is impossibly soft, a light flush dusting his cheeks. the thundering pulse returns, a force that renders xiao breathless. in a quiet whisper, like it’s only a secret for them both to hear, it’s the only thing that xiao can hear over the pounding of his heart and the waves at sea, kazuha utters: “because i wanted to see you just as much.”

the revelation is the final push to the tsunami, crashing over xiao in violent waves as he takes in kazuha’s words. “oh.”

…oh.

the staring doesn’t let up, not when xiao feels like he might do something stupid if they stop looking at each other. something like running into the ocean to actually drown.

“as much as i love staring at you, captain,” kazuha begins, a teasing smile on his lips. “we should probably get back soon. it’s getting late.”

the sky is nearly dark at this point in time, the sun nearly hiding over the horizon. xiao feels the energy draining every step of the way, up till they arrive at the bus station. it’s completely zapped out of him when he sinks into his seat at the back. seated right next to him, kazuha quietly talks to someone on his phone.

even after the reveal, xiao has absolutely no more energy to even attempt to talk. the journey back will take a total of half an hour, but xiao doubts he’d be awake for most of the time. he blinks away the sleep, yawning into his hand. he’s dozed off for several minutes when he feels heavy weight on the side of his shoulder and something light tickling his cheek.

“kazuha?” xiao murmurs, gently shifting his head to look at him. kazuha’s head is craned at an uncomfortable angle as he rests on xiao’s shoulder, his eyes shut and his breathing even. “how did you fall asleep that fast?”

xiao slowly lifts kazuha’s head to properly rest on top of xiao’s shoulder, only because he feels bad for the state kazuha’s neck would be in tomorrow. xiao’s not prepared to receive a barrage of silent resentment if narukami’s captain couldn’t play baseball anymore. he’s being dramatic, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

he absolutely does not flush red when kazuha buries his head closer to xiao’s neck and wraps an arm around xiao’s back. they were just friendly rivals, and perhaps friends, too. it’s normal for friends to be close and sleep on each other at times.

the position is surprisingly comfortable enough to lull xiao into another nap, long enough for him to dream about cheering crowds in stands and spinning around at the mound with a faint figure.

xiao is pulled awake when he’s shifted around, and then he’s back to lying down on a comfortable, warm surface. when he blinks his eyes open properly they’re standing outside his dorm.

“how did i get here?”

“i… carried you.” kazuha scratches his head. “sorry. the bus driver was already hurrying me to get out.”

“it’s okay.” xiao murmurs, suddenly unable to look at kazuha in the face. “you have nothing to apologize for, i didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“i fell asleep on you first so… how was it today?”

xiao turns back. “our outing?”

“yeah. did you have fun?” kazuha asks, a rare nervous look on his face.

“i was promised a good time, and i did have one. thank you.” xiao is unable to stop himself from smiling, remembering all the things kazuha did for him throughout the day.

kazuha takes a step closer. “even though you found out i didn’t immediately tell you i was wanye?”

“you didn’t have bad intentions. i understand why you did it.” xiao nods. “sure, i wouldn’t like it if i you tried lying to me again for my sake, but we’re friends.”

“i see. then, do you mind if i call you xiao?” kazuha is turning bright red and xiao has half a mind to tease him, but alas, xiao is not immune to how he’s looking at him with such earnestness.

“as long as i can call you kazuha.”

kazuha, the bastard, begins to smirk and winks at him, “you can call me by any name you want, captain.” 

xiao sighs, rolling his eyes. “good night, idiot.” he’s turning away already, but kazuha grabs onto his wrist and when xiao turns to look at him, there’s a genuine smile.

“good night, xiao.”

his heart skips one traitorous beat. “yeah.”

trudging through the dark hallway of his dorm and making it to his dorm, xiao puts his head in his hands and wants to scream. why is he acting like this? he’s never been this nervous before and it’s like he has heart palpitations every five minutes if they’re in close proximity. there’s a shuffle to his side that makes him snap his neck towards the sound, only finding chongyun sitting on his bed with a frown.

“i didn’t know you were going to be out this late.”

“sorry. forgot to text you.” xiao mumbles, dropping his hands. “how was your day?”

“... i don’t know.” chongyun says, as if he’s in a trance, “rough, maybe. gaming was strange today. we had a pretty bad argument.”

“i know you said you’d rather talk to xingqiu about these kinds of things, but i could try to help.”

chongyun sighs, sounding more defeated than xiao has ever heard him. “no… it’s fine. it’s not something i could even go to xingqiu to. i should resolve this with gaming myself.”

“well, as long as it doesn’t—”

“—affect the team’s performance. yeah. i know. chongyun snaps.

xiao presses his lips together, frowning. “okay.”

even if xiao never heard chongyun sound so snappy in the last six years of being friends, chongyun needs his space. their trip must have gone sour if it's gotten this bad. while xiao worries slightly for their team, he worries more for his two friends.

he doesn’t want it to come down to the point he has to talk about it with xingqiu, or worst case scenario, their coach.

xiao silently gets ready for bed. he’s sunk into the feathery pillows and comforter, sleep nipping at the last bits of consciousness.

sunday is a lazy blur when all xiao does is stay at the dorm, exhausted from going out for almost the entire day on saturday. chongyun was nowhere to be found when he woke up, so xiao opted to laze around in his room.

kazuha walked with him back to the dorm after breakfast, and insisted on keeping xiao company the whole day while chongyun was out.

xiao decides to do homework.

“i didn’t know you meant you wanted to do school work when we were making our bet…” kazuha grumbles, lying down on a pillow on the floor as he flips through one of xiao’s textbooks. xiao finishes up on his liyuean literature report and dumps it in his bag. “are you a straight a student in academics, too?”

“i’m close to the top, but xingqiu is the one excelling in everything.” he says, taking out a different notebook. “when i’m not practicing, i’m studying. i don’t have any other hobbies outside of baseball. what about you?”

“i’m quite fond of poetry and literature, so i can easily ace literature class. not sure about the other classes, though, not that it’d matter when i go pro.” kazuha shrugs. “hey, did you know coach yae is a teacher at school, too?”

“i think coach xianyun is the same, but she teaches the elementary kids.”

“coach yae teaches inazuman history, if you can believe it.”

“kind of. by the way,” xiao looks up from his notebook to glare at kazuha, “did you tell her we had a bet?”

kazuha stops flipping through his textbook and slams it shut on the ground. “how did you know?”

“she said something along the lines of ‘a little birdie said you have a bet with the captain, so let’s make things more interesting!’, and probably told amber to keep walking you so you’d be itching to bat.”

“i told her about it so they wouldn’t put us in the same team…” kazuha groans, face planting into the pillow. his voice is muffled by the cloth when he continues to talk. “but i guess that makes sense. i really did want to bat! and i was pretty pissed i never got an opportunity to hit.”

“until i was on the mound, apparently.” xiao says with a huff.

kazuha looks up from the pillow with a grin. “it wasn’t intentional. and this doesn’t count as my promise, i’ll still do it on nationals, i swear!”

“well hurry up, we only have two left.” xiao laughs, with a roll of his eyes. “that stunt you pulled shocked everybody.”

“i’ve been training to become a switch hitter.” kazuha nods, pleased. “to be honest, i only really started attempting to bat left when i went to narukami. you were the first southpaw i’d ever gone against, and it made me realize if i wanted to keep my promise, i should push myself to be the absolute best to stand on the same field as you.”

“you keep talking about me as if i’m some god…” ducking under his notebook, xiao’s face feels warm all over. “we’re equals, kazuha.”

there’s no answer, so xiao peers over the pages of his book. kazuha’s grin is so ear-splittingly huge that xiao hurls a pillow in his direction out of embarrassment.

the rest of the day goes by frighteningly fast as xiao makes quick work of his homework, and by dinnertime, it’s xingqiu’s turn to drag him to his room wth the purpose of playing board games. kazuha follows along, because of course he does, and instead of finding gaming there, it’s just albedo.

“gaming ran off somewhere.” xingqiu shrugs, placing the board game on the floor. tonight, xingqiu wants to play monopoly and ruin their friendships, apparently. “i tried calling him and he didn’t respond.”

xiao frowns. “huh. so did chongyun. i hope they’re okay.”

“you did say they got into a fight.” kazuha says. he helps xingqiu place the proper cards around the deck.

“with how close they are to each other, i’m sure their squabble will end by tomorrow.” xingqiu quips back. once everyone has their bank notes and tokens, xingqiu claps his hands together. “anyway, let’s play!”

an hour and a half later, xingqiu is heading towards becoming the richest out of all of them, owning multiple properties and estates across the deck. xiao blames it on xingqiu’s well versed knowledge on actual business, considering his family’s position in liyue’s commercial industry.

it’s hell every time xiao’s token lands on any of his properties and xiao prays to whatever god is listening to him to force xingqiu into bankruptcy. albedo is close to becoming bankrupt after going to jail twice, while xiao and kazuha are just getting by.

albedo is rolling his dice the moment the door bursts open, gaming storms in and tramples all over their board as a result. the tokens and bank notes fly everywhere, making xiao grimace at the thought of cleaning all that up.

“i was so close to becoming the richest one… my properties…!” xingqiu mutters, rising onto his knees as paper bills dramatically flutter down around him. “the economy crashed!”

“can you guys … leave me alone for a sec? i promise i’ll clean this up. i just… need a moment.” gaming is standing in the corner of the room, his hunched back facing them.

they shuffle out of the room awkwardly, and close the door behind them.

“oh, hell, it’s actually late! we have drills again tomorrow, so i’m heading back. see you tomorrow!” kazuha practically runs out of there, albedo in tow. xiao turns to xingqiu, who still has a scowl on his face.

“we’ll monitor those two tomorrow and the day after.” xiao holds his chin in thought, “we have practice matches with the other schools after those two days, so let’s hope it gets better by then.”

“okay. you’re helping me clean up, right?”

“no. good night.”

xiao leaves behind a cursing xingqiu in the hallways.

the situation doesn’t get any better in the next two days.

despite coach xianyun running them through the ground by assigning drill after drill, eventually, they will play in another practice match. if they don’t fix this problem by then, coach xianyun will see the desynchronization within the team and investigate the matter herself.

nevertheless, xiao and xingqiu gather their findings whenever the opportunity arises. they don’t make any progress, only figuring out that it’s a situation bad enough where chongyun and gaming both refuse to talk to each other or anyone about the matter. during breaks, gaming goes off on his own to talk with the other teams, while chongyun remains quiet by their side.

it reminds xiao of chongyun’s initial reluctance to talk to gaming in their second year after seeing him out on their field as a teammate rather than an opponent. like any other member of the team, the shortstop and catcher have to coordinate plays during a game— the messed up momentum they brought with them onto the field screwed up practice a few times in the beginning until the captain of that time had to intervene.

the next day, before the game begins, chongyun asks to be substituted by a different catcher in their team. he claims he isn’t feeling well, and coach xianyun allows him to rest for the day while yanfei takes his place.

the matches go without any trouble, yanfei is a capable catcher in their first string that xiao can put his trust in. the catcher change catches the other teams off guard, as yanfei rarely switches in for chongyun, and it’s a delight watching them get strikeouts or soft contact with the balls.

gaming is still at the top of his game, leaping in the air to retrieve the balls before they become a long shot into the outfield, except his silence is a new thing none of them expected.

nonetheless, it has gotten bad enough that xinyan approaches him during the break, hu tao and ganyu following right behind her. “is something wrong with gaming? he kinda looks distracted, even with players on base.”

“and without chongyun gege in the cleanup line, i think it’ll be hard to get runners into home base against the narukami ace.” ganyu frowns.

“gaming’s just having a little spat with chongyun.” hu tao says, shrugging.

xiao looks around before asking them to huddle closer.  “how did you know that?”

“it’s obvious!” hu tao takes out three of her fingers, putting them down each time she lists a point. “first, chongyun asks to be substituted. then gaming turns into a quiet domesticated cat, even though we all know he’s dying to be hollering out on the field.”

ganyu and xinyan clap at her observations.

“third…?”

“everyone can clearly see that they’ve been avoiding each other like the plague!” hu tao finishes with a flourish. “sooner or later, the coach will deeefinitely find out!”

xiao groans into his palm. “thank you for the reminder, hu tao.”

like ganyu said, having no chongyun pushes their cleanup to the limit. kunikuzushi doesn’t slow down while pitching against their best hitters, and even xiao nearly strikes out before doing a sacrifice bunt so that hu tao can run back to home base. xinyan saves the day when she pulls off a homer from narukami’s reserve pitcher, and while everyone celebrates the win, gaming excuses himself from the field.

“remember how the captain had to step in when gaming and chongyun didn’t get along in our second year? maybe that’s what i should do.” xiao says to xingqiu, as they make their way to the cafeteria for their dinner. “i’ll corner chongyun, and you’ll do the same to gaming.”

“there’s a high possibility they won’t even bother saying anything about the matter.” xingqiu shakes his head, crossing his arms. they make their way to their usual table, predictably, with no chongyun or gaming in sight.

“albedo, where’s chongyun?”

albedo looks up from his sketchbook. “i’m not sure. i assumed he’d be arriving with you both. as for gaming, he’s at captain kaedehara’s table.”

xiao glances in the direction of kazuha’s table, spotting him talking to the shortstop. as if he could feel xiao’s eyes on him, kazuha looks up and sends him a nod.

“chongyun most likely holed up in our room. i’ll go find him.”

he’s pondering over how to confront chongyun when he nearly bumps into said chongyun after he steps out from the cafeteria. surprise washes over chongyun’s face. “xiao…”

xiao shifts on his feet. he’s not prepared for this. “want to go to the bullpen to practice? we haven’t done that in awhile.”

practicing in the bullpen is a normal pastime for them by now, and xiao finds it to be a time where both of them can let their instincts and reflexes fly without having to say a word.

chongyun takes a glimpse at the cafeteria, then back at xiao. “... okay.”

the lights on the field are enough to light the bullpen, the baseball hitting chongyun’s mitt filling in the tranquil air. there’s a look of defeat in chongyun’s face that makes it difficult not to ask about what happened— it’s a rare look that xiao hasn’t seen ever since they lost regionals back in their first year, back when it felt like there was no hope for jueyun jian to ever reach nationals.

by this point in time, it’s easy to read what kind of pitch chongyun wants, so they wordlessly toss the ball back and forth with relative ease. the silence between them isn’t unnerving, after all they’ve been friends for many years, yet xiao has to admit he can’t stop himself from feeling worried.

they’re all stubborn at times, it’s a known fact especially when they are technically still growing teenagers making sense of their thoughts and purpose in this world.

“xiao. i know you don’t like it when people talk while you’re practicing, but can i ask you something?”

xiao snaps out of his thoughts, pausing his windup. “of course.”

“do you think i project my issues onto others?” chongyun mumbles, fiddling with his mitt.

“care to give the context…?”

chongyun sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “i don’t know. it’s just that… gaming said that to me when we were arguing the other day. i was mad that he decided not to go pro when he could easily score the shortstop position in any team. he wants to run his own restaurant. can you believe it?”

“you don’t control whether or not he goes pro, it’s his own choice, chongyun.” xiao says, frowning.

“i know! i know if xingqiu told me he wanted to inherit his father’s business instead of going pro, i would have supported him all the way through! but with gaming, i don’t know why i freaked out so much.”

a thought dawns on xiao as he ponders over chongyun’s words. he’s not cut out for this, he’s finding it difficult to place himself in chongyun’s position when it’s never happened to him before! “maybe… maybe it’s because you want to go pro with him?”

chongyun centers his mitt on the ground again. “isn’t it natural to want to go pro with your teammates?”

xiao thinks about kazuha and his wish. if rivals wish for each other to go pro together, then it’s perfectly normal to think that way with his teammates. “i suppose so.”

“then i don’t know what his problem is! he keeps saying i don’t like him, which isn’t even true if he just listens to me for once!”

“did you ever tell him to stop fussing over you?” with his arms now warmed up, xiao switches things up and throws a changeup.

it lands in chongyun’s mitt with a thud. “...no. but i brought it up while we were arguing, and then he proceeded to tell me that was his way of caring.”

“he’s not wrong.” gaming regularly buys food and snacks for the team after practice, or brings boxes of his family’s freshly picked tea leaves. there are still a couple unopened boxes back home from the amount he’s brought home.

“when i said i cared about him too, he said ‘not in the same way as i do!’ and stormed off before i could even answer.” chongyun scowls. “like, what does that even mean? is he making it a competition?”

“chongyun, you really are an idiot.” from the shadows, xingqiu materializes by their side. chongyun jumps in horror whilst xiao gives him an unimpressed look. 

“what? were you here this entire time?”

xingqiu blatantly ignores him. “tell me, dear chongyun, why do you always go with gaming whenever we’re visiting other nations?”

“because he asked me to go?”

“okay, but you could easily reject him if you didn’t want to go, no?” xingqiu says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

xiao’s mind wanders to his outing with kazuha from the other day, how he could’ve just left at any point in time. but there was never a time when xiao felt uncomfortable with kazuha’s presence, so maybe it was the same thing for chongyun. “chongyun probably has fun with gaming when they go out together.”

“that’s…” chongyun splutters. “of course i have fun with him! he’s nice and fun, he also pays for all my food…”

just as how he feels with kazuha! xiao nods to himself, pleased at his deductions.

“then let’s move onto my next point. why did you never tell him to stop coddling you?”

“because it makes me feel funny!” chongyun grumbles, covering his face. “it makes me feel like i’m about to go into a heart attack every time he takes care of me!”

chongyun has a heart problem, too? xiao feels like he should really be paying attention now if he wants to understand why he’s been feeling the same thing around kazuha… he feels relieved that there’s someone else with the same symptoms. “do we need to go to a cardiologist for that…?”

“no, xiao, there’s no need for that.” xingqiu deadpans. “okay, chongyun. last question before i give up. how do you feel about gaming?”

“uh, that’s a loaded question…” chongyun says, scratching the back of his head.

“just say whatever comes to your mind.”

“like i said, he’s an incredible shortstop, he’s literally always there right when i need him to catch the ball. he’s also our team’s best motivator. he’s nice and funny, and sometimes he says things that make my chest feel tight… ever since he started tying his hair, it distracts me because i didn’t know he could look like that.” the tips of chongyun’s ears turn visibly red. “and…”

“and…?”

“and i have fun whenever we go out traveling together. don’t get me wrong, you guys are fun too, but sometimes gaming and i just talk for ages in one spot… he knows me so well that he’s turned into a really good listener when i get talkative…” chongyun has turned beet red and xiao’s starting to feel bad for asking him all about this. “i got mad when he said he didn’t want to go pro because i always thought we were going to go together… i just want to keep playing with him, i don’t want our travels and conversations to end…”

the things chongyun says about gaming are starting to awfully remind him of how he feels towards kazuha. xiao appreciates kazuha’s silence whenever he’s not in the mood to talk. he’s been working hard just to see him in nationals, watches his matches and supports him through kind gestures and nice words that leave xiao feeling warm and fuzzy all over.

it doesn’t explain his heart pounding whenever they’re near, but there’s a thrill in teasing the captain that xiao never wants to end.

xiao realizes he wants kazuha’s wish to come true, too.

he wants to go pro and see kazuha standing at the plate, he wants to keep this banter going on forever. he wants the world to know he would be kaedehara kazuha’s only worthy rival.

the thought bubble in xiao’s head bursts at xingqiu’s question. “okay, now taking all that into consideration, would you say the same thing about me or xiao?”

“how is that related to any of this?” xiao asks. “i think it’s clear enough that chongyun thinks of him as a good friend.”

“you’re another idiot i refuse to deal with.” xingqiu sighs exasperatedly. “just answer the question, chongyun.”

chongyun stares at them for a moment, and gradually, his face starts to turn redder than it already is. “no… i wouldn’t.”

“at least now you do know that you, in fact, do care about gaming in the same way. now go and make up. please.”

chongyun rapidly nods and scrambles out from the bullpen, nearly tripping over himself in the process.

“wait, what do you mean he cares for gaming in the same way?” xiao ponders aloud as they make their return to the cafeteria.

“if chongyun doesn’t feel that way for us, then obviously, he cares for gaming in a different way. they like each other romantically, plain and simple.” xingqiu says, giving him a thumbs up.

for the rest of the dinner, he mulls over xingqiu’s words while picking at his food. like… romantically? how did chongyun realize he liked gaming romantically? the things he said seemed normal enough, especially when xiao felt the same to a degree towards kazuha.

but he’s not sure if he views kazuha in a romantic light.

kazuha accompanies him back to the dorm, as always, but xiao’s mind wanders around to the point he forgets to reply to kazuha’s quips.

“a lot on your mind tonight?” kazuha murmurs, chuckling. “gaming and chongyun must be giving you a run for their money.”

xiao sighs. “sorry, it’s complicated.”

could he really think of kazuha in that way? xiao glances at kazuha while they walk, biting his lip as he tries to recollect his thoughts. under the moonlight, kazuha’s platinum blonde hair glows in its soft light, softening his sharper features.

he looks handsome, xiao thinks. his stomach does a flip at the thought. would he say that about any of his friends?

kazuha catches him staring and he begins to laugh. “like what you see, captain?”

“i was just thinking about something…” xiao grumbles, looking away as his cheeks heat up. how embarrassing.

“if you wish to know, i like looking at you as well.” kazuha hums, all nonchalant. “you’re rather ethereal in the moonlight.”

there’s a surging heat at the pit of his stomach from the compliment, a flickering flame that nips at his insides even when they arrive at his dorm.

“do you really mean that? or are you just casually flattering me so that i don’t kick your ass tomorrow?” xiao murmurs, facing the door. his face is flaming hot, in contrast to his freezing fingers which fiddle with the doorknob as he awaits kazuha’s answer.

“xiao, look at me.” kazuha says, his tone so convincingly sweet that xiao turns around without a second thought.

kazuha looks at him, almost as if he were starry-eyed, and he lifts a hand to gently brush something away from xiao’s cheek with his fingers. the touch is featherlight but his cold fingers burn xiao right up from the inside, his traitorous heart beginning to pound like xiao is running laps out on the field.

“i mean it. you are as beautiful as your pitches are.” he’s breathless and a little red in the cheeks; xiao’s eyes shake in the frantic search for any hint of ridicule or sarcasm and only finds total sincerity.

and xiao thinks, once again:

if his friends were to say that, he’d laugh it off. he’d roll his eyes and talk about how they should get back to practice, to stop spouting nonsense just to butter up their captain. it’s the kind of phrase they’d say just to rile him up on the mound.

but kazuha’s words are inherently sound and resolute, that he finds himself holding onto them like a lifeline in the violent waves crashing over him.

he cares about kazuha the same way chongyun cares for gaming.

he likes kazuha.

romantically.

“...thanks.” xiao coughs out. his face is most definitely red, but there’s a part of him that hopes kazuha just thinks he caught chongyun’s supposed sickness. “good night, kazuha.”

“of course,” kazuha’s smile turns soft as he steps back. “good night, xiao.”

that night, xiao tosses and turns in his bed, replaying every single instance where kazuha set his heart alight.

his fingertips lightly touch the part of his cheek where kazuha touched it, and when his fingers travel down to his lips, his face immediately burns.

he’s taking this to his grave. how could he ever confess this to his friends, let alone kazuha himself? it’s too mortifying to admit that xiao is a fool, one who fell for kazuha’s everlasting admiration and support, when that’s all it was and nothing more.

admiration.

with time, it will most definitely fade. in the future, they could be best friends, but xiao can’t fathom his silly feelings to be any more than a warped sense of gratitude as a response to kazuha’s admiration for him.

ultimately, xiao decides that he’d rather die than admit this to kazuha’s face.

the last two days of camp, the practice matches pass by far too quick. xiao pretended that he didn’t even have that revelation late at night, and everything seems to go back to normal. instead of arguing, chongyun and gaming are pink faced around each other but they still mess around as usual, albeit there’s more affection there than usual. it’s amusing to watch them, though the physical affection gaming showers chongyun in is a terrible fate to be subjected to at their cafeteria table.

on their last day in inazuma, xiao finds himself wanting to stay longer. kazuha beams when xiao tells him so, and they exchange numbers for the next time kazuha’s in liyue.

“in all seriousness, i’m glad you had fun here. i know you came for the camp, but knowing you left with good memories makes me happy.” kazuha says, as they walk to the bus station before all their teammates arrive. if they are to talk, this would be the best time, because xiao will most likely end up blushing like a fool again.

“... me too. it was nice being here. you were an outstanding host.” xiao nods, smiling back at him. “i hope we’ll see each other again.”

“well, about that, i have a gift for you.” kazuha stops at his side before presenting a small wrapped package to him. “you can open it now if you’d like.”

“you really didn’t have to…” xiao murmurs, opening the package. inside sits a beautifully embroidered, maroon colored pouch. there are crimson maple leaves embroidered into its design, along with inazuman script. 

he holds it up and admires the gift, his heart fluttering.

“it’s an omamori, a lucky charm. i bought it when you were hanging up your prayer plaque.” kazuha winks.

xiao rolls his eyes. “no wonder you took so long with your drawing. but really, thank you for the gift. it’s lovely.”

“of course,” kazuha takes a step closer and gently clasps his hands over the hand that holds the omamori, “with the charm, i’m sure the kami will bring us together once more. be it on or off the field.”

it’s difficult not to fall in love with kazuha, xiao thinks, silently awestruck at the tender words and the warmth of his hands. the way kazuha looks at him like he’s the center of the universe, surely if he was another person, they’d fall for him too. there’s a beat of silence as they stand there, the wind wisping by and chirping of the birds in the distance, they’re just a few breaths apart and xiao has never had the urge to kiss someone else in his life up till now.

there’s nothing in that very moment, the world drowns away like they’re on the field and all xiao’s senses are attuned to kazuha alone.

xiao feels himself licking his lips, and kazuha’s eyes immediately flicker down to follow the motion. tilting his head up, xiao can only hold his breath as one of kazuha’s hands rubs a thumb across his cheek. kazuha begins to lean down and xiao’s eyes automatically flutter shut.

so, back then, with the dango… was he…

distant chatter hits xiao’s ears and they both promptly break away from each other. the world around him falls back into focus, though it’s now he realizes how hard his heart is beating in his chest. one glimpse at kazuha doesn’t tell him much— there’s an unreadable expression as he looks in the distance to see the rest of his team coming up on the path.

kazuha looks back at him and the usual smile is back. “guess we'll have to talk some other time. i hope i’ll see you again soon.”

“let’s hope you beat everyone at regionals then, captain.” xiao laughs, still a bit out of breath.

once all his teammates have arrived, coach xianyun thanks the other coaches and their teams. it’s not a tearful goodbye by any means, but there’s a look of reluctance present in many players as they board the bus.

“i know we didn’t talk much, but your team is extraordinary. thank you for these last two weeks.” captain kaeya says to him before he climbs into his own bus, extending a hand. “we’ll be looking forward to seeing you all at nationals this fall.”

“it was an honor for us, too. thank you.” xiao shakes his hand and they both smile.

while he settles inside the bus, kazuha lingers outside with his teammates. he does the same salute wave to xiao, like he did on his first day at the camp. then, he brings a hand to his ear and makes a phone gesture, mouthing: ‘call me’, and winks.

it’s a direct hit to xiao’s unfortunate heart.

soon enough, the bus drives out of the premises, leaving narukami’s training camp behind.

Chapter Text

xiao is eighteen when everything he dreams about, everything he's put his blood, sweat and tears into, shatters right in front of him in just mere minutes.

the fall nationals after the training camp is an easy feat thanks to all the training his team received prior to regionals. going against tenacious schools of both narukami and windblume’s caliber, it prepares his team enough to breeze right through multiple liyue baseball teams.

kazuha congratulates him after every victory, much to xiao’s plan of thwarting his feelings for him.

“your match today was incredible, xiao! your team performed excellently today, but of course, the jueyun jian ace is always the star of the show.” kazuha would say, showering him with praise after praise.

“you don’t need to be saying all that, especially when our team runs you through the dirt at nationals.” xiao would reply, as he lay on his bed clutching his phone and resisting the urge to kick his feet at such words.

nevertheless, as a student in his last year, winning the baseball regionals doesn’t spare him from the perils of finals and entrance exams.

“i don’t get why i have to study for entrance exams if i don’t even want to go to university… i want to go pro right after! or maybe go somewhere else to train before going pro…” on the way to practice, chongyun is grumbling about his latest practice test scores, while gaming has an arm around him in comfort. xingqiu and xiao trail behind them, except xingqiu is far too engrossed in his phone that he might as well not be there.

“don’t worry, yunyun, if you don’t make it pro or get into a university, you could be the co-owner of my future restaurant.” gaming says, hugging him close. even from the back of his head, xiao can see the red in chongyun’s ears.

“as nice as that is, i want to go pro…” gaming continues to talk about different ideas chongyun could do after graduation and xiao all but listens to whatever drivel they’re going over.

“i’m starting to think your intervention just caused more problems for us, xingqiu.” xiao mutters. he’s happy that his friends have finally gotten together and resolved their issues before their condition on the field worsened, however it does not warrant exposing everyone to their blatant, incessant flirting.

“were you not doing the same thing with kaedehara, especially after you found out he was wanye?” xingqiu replies, still looking at his phone. “just let them be, i was going insane watching them run in circles around each other.”

“it was only friendly banter between us!”

“sure, and i suck at monopoly!”

“how does that even relate to anything…?”

nevertheless, chongyun’s earlier worries do hold some merit. they aren’t guaranteed immediate spots in pro teams unless a scouter at a game finds their performance to be exceptional for their roster. there are backup universities he has in mind if he doesn’t make it, but it doesn’t mean xiao will slack off in their last two chances at winning the nationals. going to anything that isn’t a professional team would be his last ditch effort— even if it brings him great disappointment.

alongside coach xianyun’s training, xiao pours his blood and sweat into preparing the team for nationals. swinging practices and running drills are amplified more than it has been in xiao’s entire highschool life, with days sometimes spent in the bullpen refining different pitches and discussing different combinations to catch potential opponents off guard. they leave the club rooms later than usual after watching countless videos of their performance in previous matches.

it gets exhausting enough that xiao starts to fall asleep on the couch instead of his room. ganyu and his father chide him for overworking himself; xiao is so close to going pro, he can’t really stop going all out now, can he?

kazuha’s calls are the only moments of solace he can really get.

he’s close to falling face first into the liyuean literature textbook right in front of him until his phone begins to ring. groggily, his hand shuffles around through the piles of exam papers and assignments to retrieve his phone.

“captaaain~ guess who just won the semifinals for regionals!” the voice drawls out from the speaker. the sound of crowds in stands leak through the phone.

“by ‘just won’, you don’t mean you’ve barely gotten off the field…” xiao murmurs into the phone, lying his head on his crossed arms.

“i couldn’t wait to call you!” kazuha argues. he sounds like he’d be a needy boyfriend… xiao shakes his head at the thought and lightly smacks his head onto his arms. “i wanted you to know before i head into finals tomorrow.”

“congratulations, kaedehara.”

“one more to go and i’ll be seeing you in a week.” kazuha singsongs. ever since xiao returned to liyue, he’s been counting down after every match until they compete in the national league. “they’ll be hosting it in sumeru this autumn, so i’m excited to get some traveling done while we’re there.”

“we?”

“i was hoping you’d accompany me around sumeru once we settle things on the field.” he could almost see kazuha’s pleading face already, non-existent tail wagging behind him.

“i’ll need to check my schedule, captain, i have nationals to win after all.” xiao laughs when kazuha begins to plead in earnest. “fine, i’ll go with you.”

“okay! i’ll start searching for places, i’ll plan everything!” he pretends he doesn’t hear kazuha’s friends cheering in the background. 

“sure, looking forward to it.” xiao yawns and stretches his arms into the air. sitting for hours is starting to do his back in…

“sleepy? aren’t you going to take a break?”

“studying for another mock exam.”

kazuha tsks. “on top of baseball practice, you’re studying every day, too? you’re going to end up overworking yourself…”

xiao sighs, closing his eyes. “you sound like my family.”

“you’re setting a terrible example for ganyu-chan when she enters her third year.”

“meimei will be fine, she’s capable of caring for herself more than i can. and i told you, baseball is my life. but i can’t afford to fail entrance exams either. even if jueyun jian goes to nationals each time, it doesn’t mean a professional team would be there to scout specifically for me to be a player.”

their team effort has always been a winning strategy in nationals. without his team, would xiao even amount to anything?

kazuha gasps, as if he is horrified. “stop putting yourself down!”

“you just think i’m the best because you can’t land a hit on my pitches most of the time.”

“that’s not true. i can see your worth in your team, xiao.”

‘easy for you to say’, xiao grumbles in his head. for kazuha, he’s an all rounder player. a quick-witted third baseman, who has a throwing arm that is undoubtedly the best in inazuma and a slugger switch hitter that bats breaking balls like it is nothing— there are many teams that’d kill to have kazuha as a part of their roster.

there’s no use in letting his jealousy fester like this when they aren’t even competing for the same position on the same team. yet the ugly thing keeps rearing its head in the midst of xiao’s lowest of doubts.

 xiao ends up retorting, “yeah, my team. professional teams are a whole different can of worms. i think i should begin to learn a new kind of pitch.”

“changing your arsenal of pitches is a good way to get out of a rut.” kazuha notes. the yelling and shouting in the background are no longer there, just kazuha’s soothing voice. “look, i’m sure you’ll get scouted. it’ll be hard at first, though i’m sure that day will come.”

“then let’s hope your omamori works.” xiao mumbles. his eyelids begin to feel tired, even while shut.

“even if the omamori fails and the kami try to force us apart, i’ll find my way back to you.” kazuha’s softly says, “we’re rivals, after all. i’ll keep chasing after you, xiao.”

“mm. okay.” xiao hums. though his consciousness started to leave him, the words kazuha utter sent flutters to his heart. “tell me about today’s match. tell me about the poor pitcher you probably got a homer off of.”

“and who am i to decline such a request?” kazuha murmurs. he’s not even hiding his fondness, and it makes warmth spread all over xiao’s body like an encompassing blanket. it’s silly how quick kazuha has become a staple figure in his life, even if they spent a good three years of their friendship never coming across each other.

it terrifies him to a degree that his feelings refuse to wane, even while knowing the potential heartbreak that comes with it. they are better off as friends; healthy rivalry between best friends have always been a thing, and xiao doubts kazuha could ever fathom dating him. 

xiao does not need to ask kazuha for his true feelings, in the event their friendship sours. he likes to think he isn’t a sentimental person, but he’d be lying if he doesn’t get upset at the thought of destroying a perfectly fine friendship.

and so, as he lies there while kazuha’s gentle voice soothes the ache in his weary bones, xiao can only pray for moments like these to last an eternity.

as per kazuha’s suggestion, xiao suggests learning a new pitch to chongyun. a pitch closest to the ones xiao has already mastered is the screwball— while it’s similar to a changeup, the unique point is the spin the screwball has, causing the ball to break past the inside zone of a batter. furthermore, as a southpaw, it’ll be a hard-to-hit pitch against opposite batters.

everything goes well when xiao gets the basics down and manages to get a demonstration done by one of the side-arm reserve pitchers of the team. save for the moment when chongyun stares at him like xiao grew a second head when he so much as so implicates on debuting the pitch during the upcoming nationals.

“you do know that nationals is like… in three days, right”

xiao holds his stare and raises an eyebrow. “it could be a real game changer if we manage to pull it off.”

“xiao, i’m confident in your abilities as our ace, but to use it so soon…” chongyun says, chewing his lip. “you can’t control it that well yet. we could try it in the spring, though. we’ll have plenty of time to try the pitch during practice matches after the break.”

xiao opens his mouth to argue, but he knows chongyun is right. it wouldn’t be worth it to cost his entire team a possible nationals win if he tried throwing an unstable pitch. he has faith in their battery and chongyun’s judgment; they’d still have some other time to test the pitch out.

the next couple of days fly past after a day of practice and rest before jueyun jian find themselves in the semifinals of teyvat’s fall nationals in the lush green lands of sumeru. the fontaine team is no easy match this year, their firecracker of an ace easily wows the crowds with his forkballs and the spontaneous magic tricks up on the mound.

he doesn’t make use of the screwball this time, but he’s itching to try it especially when one of their cleanup gets a long hit to the outfield just from a single changeup.

getting fourth in the final ranking is no big deal, not with the force of how the fontainian team had fought this year. fighting against strong opponents gives him a exhilarating thrill that he can’t find in regionals, so they amicably accept their ranking in xiao’s final fall highschool nationals.

with narukami high representing inazuma once more, they’re in the finals up against snezhnaya for the number one title. xiao and his friends all watch the match with focus that renders them silent throughout the entire match, save for the moment arataki gets a homerun off the ace that has them erupting in cheers. xiao holds onto the omamori until the end of the match, the cloth packet crushed in his palm until the match reaches its last inning. kunikuzushi closes up with his four seam fastball that strikes out the last snezhnayan player, earning them their second consecutive fall nationals win.

the loudspeakers boom with praise after praise as the stadium goes wild over the win. “narukami high’s exceptional roster is a new favorite we’ll continue to look forward to in the coming years! even if their third year players are leaving big shoes to fill after graduation, i’m sure they’ll find a way to the top once again!”

on the big jumbotron screen, the team piles on a struggling kunikuzushi, smiles of elation plastered on all their faces. if their placements allowed it, facing them off in the springtime would be thrilling— their schools were both two-time winners of in the seasonal tournaments by now, evenly matched in skill and achievements.

come the next morning and xiao is standing outside of the rented dorms, holding a fan to avoid looking like a sweating mess despite the early morning sun. the tropical weather is difficult for xiao’s body to adapt to, especially when he’s used to liyue’s cold evenings.

“xiao!” the sound of shoes running against the marbled dorm floors echo behind him, and xiao whirls around to come face to face with kazuha and his dazzling smile.

“kazuha.” xiao is unable to help the smile that spreads across his lips. it’s so ridiculous to feel overjoyed when they call at least once a week, but xiao forgets how pleasant it is to be in kazuha’s presence. 

hummingbird-like flutters grow in his chest as kazuha laughs at xiao’s obvious excitement. “and you called me the silly one for being so eager to meet again?”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” xiao huffs a laugh, still smiling.

“regardless, i’ve come up with a list of places to visit while we’re here. i’ve taken into consideration the times we’ll need to meet up with our separate teams and made sure we have ample time before, so let’s make the most of our day!” out of courtesy, or another one of kazuha’s dramatic antics, he holds out a hand for xiao to take.

perhaps, by some cruel fate, the gods decided this was the day to mess with xiao and his hopeless crush. it’s grueling to dance along to kazuha’s playful banter and teasing flirts, but xiao knows all the steps to this routine— he becomes a fool that falls into the familiar rhythm each damn time.

and thus, xiao takes his hand with a roll of his eyes, and allows kazuha to whisk him away through sumeru city’s streets.

after a hearty lunch at lambad’s tavern, kazuha brings him along to puspa cafe to purchase a trading card game set for one of his moms. in the cafe, there’s a starting line shortstop from the sumerian baseball team that xiao has played against in the spring. he spots xiao and kazuha and goes up to them to offer his congratulations to the narukami team.

the shortstop, cyno, really takes his time animatedly explaining the different card decks and sets to kazuha. the discussion goes on long enough that xiao finds himself a comfortable couch to sit on, sipping on the best coffee he’s ever had while kazuha mulls over cyno’s deck recommendations.

“hey, by the way, inazuma has a book that’s based on this card game,” kazuha says as he flips through a magazine with the latest deck designs. “since you’re an avid enthusiast of the game, i assume you’ve heard of it before?”

“no, i haven’t, but reading it sure would be a novel idea.” cyno nods, a serious look on his face. it’s the third pun cyno has cracked within twenty minutes, with the same deadpan stare. it results in kazuha needing to persuade xiao from leaving the cafe.

they leave nearly an hour and a half later, kazuha holding one comically large paper bag filled with an entire deck of cards and (at his insistence) another paper bag of boxed coffee beans xiao bought to bring home.

they go on a brief bus tour around sumeru’s lush green forests, legends of forest creatures that hide within the nation’s fauna playing through the bus’ speakers when they pass by trees that reach high towards the skies.

xiao takes a few pictures of the greenery that spills outside in their window, knowing his father would be enthused to see sumeru’s forests. kazuha poses by the window, holding up a finger gun to his chin as he beams at xiao’s phone.

“you know i’m taking these to show to my dad, right?” xiao stifles a giggle with his palm, showing kazuha the picture.

“i look good in it, so i don’t mind if you show it to him. it would be a good introductory look into the kind of person i am to your father, captain.” with a wink, kazuha strikes another pose more ridiculous than the last.

in retaliation, xiao promptly draws a mustache on the picture and sends it to his group chat consisting of his friends. expecting laughs and jabs at kazuha’s silly poses, the barrage of ‘cute pic of your bf!’ and ‘are you guys on a date right now?’ leave him fuming red that he all but chucks his phone kazuha’s way.

kazuha snickers all the way to their last stop of the day, the house of daena. it’s the biggest known library in teyvat, home to thousands of books on histories of how the nations were built, literary works from even the most obscure of authors in teyvat and rare manuscripts to aid in academic reports.

he’s led through the labyrinth of towering shelves by kazuha, the captain gingerly pulling books from their shelves to add to his growing stack of books as they traverse through the large expanse of the library.

they find a quiet corner close to the end of the dimly lit hall, far enough that xiao can only hear the turning of pages. xiao doesn’t have a knack for reading, not after the immense volumes of liyuean literature he had to study for his mock exams.

kazuha’s gleefully buried in a light novel with a ridiculous sounding title called ‘the youkai’s new liyeuan best friend is actually an adeptus?!’, so xiao helps himself to one of the books in the pile. it’s a book on the many aquatic fish in teyvat’s oceans and rivers, and while he isn’t much of a fish person, it’s enough for him to pass the time.

he’s just about to fall asleep by the time he gets to a page on fontaine’s blubberbeasts when kazuha taps his shoulder. “hey, sleepyhead. i’m done reading the entire series.”

“that fast…?” xiao groggily mumbles.

“it’s a light novel, i get hooked on them pretty quickly.” kazuha whispers back. “the adeptus in this book reminds me of you. he’s aloof in the beginning, but starts to open up when the kitsune befriends him.”

“okay.”

“he’s real cute, too.”

xiao’s heart nearly explodes right then and there. “spare me from your meaningless flattery.”

kazuha sticks his tongue out. “i’m just teasing you.”

“without any consideration for my feelings? you wound me, captain.” xiao huffs, making a show of flopping his head onto his outstretched arms.

“i don’t think you know how often i think about you first. there would never be a time where i don’t consider your feelings first.” kazuha lays his head next to xiao’s, the short stack of light novels in between them. they aren’t high enough to block kazuha’s searing gaze.

“you don’t have to actually care. we’re on opposing teams.” xiao murmurs, pulling his arms in to pillow his head. “don’t think about me when you’re about to win.”

“even if it led me straight to my failure, i’d still be thinking of you.” it’s said in almost the quietest of whispers, but it’s a sentence that resounds like a thunderous lightning strike in xiao’s head.

with the nonchalant manner kazuha uses when he speaks the most tender of words, it’s difficult to pull himself away from kazuha’s space. it would be in xiao’s best interests to stop his feelings from growing, to quell the evermore need to float in kazuha’s orbit just to get a sliver of what it’d be like to know him forever.

xiao simply huffs and buries his head into his arms, the tips of his ears burning red. in the safety of his arms, he can scowl knowing that one day, there would be a time when kazuha would rise to heights where they’d no longer think of each other, and xiao would just be a brief flicker in his past.

in the cool evening breeze, they leave the library after nearly going past the allocated time. kazuha shifts on his feet when they stop at treasure street, the bustling crowd from earlier in the day dwindling down to couples or groups of friends milling about before their evening meals. xiao will set off for lambad’s tavern for dinner with his team, while kazuha’s team planned to view a showing of a play at zubayr theater.

xiao is first to speak up, blinking down at the ground to avoid kazuha’s gaze. “i had fun today. thank you.”

“i had fun, too. especially when i know it’ll be awhile until we see each other again.”

“yeah.” xiao peers back up. it’s strange to see kazuha so somber, but after all, they are saying goodbye. “but i’ll definitely be there in the spring. it’ll be the last chance for you to get a homerun from me.”

“then i’ll just have to pray to the kami that we face each other off at one point.” there’s a solemn smile on kazuha’s lips, and a sigh escapes him before he continues to speak. “still, we have to say goodbye for now.”

xiao shakes his head. “there’s no need for a goodbye if i’ll be seeing you later.”

kazuha brightens up a little. “that’s right. it’s just… ever since we spent time at the camp, i’ve found myself thinking you’d still be at the dorms. strange, right?”

“if you miss me that much, then i’ll call you as much as i can.” xiao could laugh all he wants, yet he’s aware that he’s likely to yearn for kazuha just as much.

“it won’t be the same, but i suppose i’ll deal with it for now.” kazuha’s grin is back and xiao feels a small amount of relief seep into his bones. “i hope they’ll hold spring nationals in liyue next year. they haven’t done it in a while.”

“if they do, it’ll be just in time for lantern rite.”

“it would be a delight to see all the lanterns in the sky again… the last time i saw it happen was in middle school.”

“we could go together after nationals? my birthday would be right around the corner, too.” xiao’s traitorous mouth speaks before he even manages to catch up with the thought.

“ah, right! i’ll hold you to it, then, captain.” kazuha beams. “i’ll see you later.”

“see you.” xiao murmurs, and they both part for the day. on the walk to lambard’s tavern, the picture of kazuha posing by the bus windows is a dim light on xiao’s phone. 

a couple of taps and a self-satisfied smile later, it becomes kazuha’s new contact picture on his phone.

the first few days back in liyue thrust him head first into final exams before the winter break. there wasn’t really enough time to pay attention to anything other than his studies, not with the stacks of textbooks and mock exam papers he’d go through every single day.

once the last day of exams finished, they’re officially on winter break. despite that, xiao wants his team to be well prepared for the spring regionals. their performance in the last nationals was less than stellar; if they want a chance at winning nationals one last time before xiao graduates, then this would be their moment.

“we don’t have to win nationals, you know.” xingqiu says in the middle of swinging practice. xiao pulled his friends to practice their swings, it’s almost reminiscent of their earlier first year days. “we have always gone to nationals since our second year, that should be enough for pro level teams to want to recruit you.”

“i don’t think it’ll ever be enough— i need to show that we’re a team consisting of winners who managed to come on top of all the seven nations.” xiao bites out.

“you are undoubtedly one of the best players in liyue,” chongyun adds, “with the way you’re performing at nationals, they’d be stupid not to recruit you.”

even gaming replies with his own quip. “yeah, cap! you don’t need to take this burden on yourself, that’s why we’re always standing right behind you to back you up.”

“it’s…” xiao pauses for a beat to swing, “it’s not that easy.”

xingqiu puts a hand on his chin and closes his eyes. “do you want to win so badly so you could rub it in kaedehara’s face?”

“they still have their whole ‘captain rivalry’ act going on?” chongyun asks.

“it’s not like that!” xiao grits out through his teeth.

xingqiu clicks his tongue and xiao is so close to throttling him around like a ragdoll. “i myself do not comprehend why it’s still going on, even though we are well aware of their weekly calls.”

xiao’s gloves tighten around the bat at the mention of their calls. truth be told, it’s been three whole weeks since xiao has even heard an inkling of anything from kazuha. he chalks it up to his end of year exams and kazuha’s own schoolwork, yet, xiao can’t help the concern simmering in the back of his mind. “narukami’s captain is rather busy, so we haven’t talked in a while.”

“is that a hint of worry i hear from our dear old captain?”

“can’t i be worried for my friend?”

xingqiu’s smirk grows by tenfold. “then why haven’t you tried reaching out?”

xiao scowls, and swings his bat harder. “i’m not some lovesick fool.”

“xingqiu really has a death wish if he’s trying to rile up the captain during swing practice. i would know,” gaming whispers to chongyun in an obvious volume. “i really thought he was going to kill me!”

“xingqiu, drop it.” chongyun sighs loudly. “if xiao hasn’t talked to kaedehara in a while, it’s none of our business. and xiao, i’m sure he’ll come around soon. it’s obvious he cares for you.”

he swings again, the weight of the metal bat heavy in his hands. kazuha must have a good reason if they haven’t talked for almost a month since they last saw each other. it’s nearly humiliating at how the anxiety is beginning to prick into him over his absence, perhaps this is how it feels to suffer over a crush.

could he even fathom the thought of living his life without kazuha in it ever again?

it’s a reaching thought that xiao refuses to delve into. they would both hold onto the promise they once made, and so xiao would put his absolute trust in him.

thankfully, xingqiu drops the conversation and practice resumes. they assist the fielders practice by launching balls out into the field, and practice ends after xiao pitches a few balls to their batting lineup to help with their batting. it’s a fruitful day that wears his bones enough to distract him from his concerns.

well, until his own sister decides to delve into it.

“your pitches were so tough to hit today, gege. it’s like you were determined to strike us out instead of actually helping us bat.” ganyu drawls as she stretches her arms. their father is cooking dinner in the kitchen while they sit around the dining table. the winter break has bored him enough to pull out his old ds and resume an unfinished pokemon game from nearly a decade ago.

after accomplishing a gym battle, xiao answers, “i’ll tone it down next practice, mei.”

“your new pitch is especially hard to hit.” ganyu pouts and crosses her arms. while most of her baby fat has gone away over the years, xiao still finds his little sister endearing. “did our placement in the fall worry you?”

it’s not exactly just their fall performance, but it’s not like he’d be lying if he didn’t bring up kazuha’s absence. “i’m just worried it wouldn’t be good enough for the recruiters if i’m not showing the best of our team’s ability in the spring.”

ganyu nods. after a beat of silence, she raises an eyebrow. “that’s it?”

xiao bites his lip and turns his gaze back onto his game. “yeah.”

“you’re hiding something, gege.” he hears the roll of her eyes in her voice. an automatic sibling instinct lights up when they notice something off about the other, it’s pointless to hide things from each other but the embarrassment of even admitting his worry over kazuha would eat him alive.

“give me your honest opinion, mei.” xiao puts his game down after saving, and leans back against his chair to mimic her pose. “what do you think of captain kaedehara?”

“he’s a nice person! during practice at the camp, he often gave me tips on batting certain balls since he’s a part of the cleanup on his team— and gege trusts him, so i trust him too.” ganyu says with a nod. “and if he wants to become my brother-in-law, i’d gladly allow it!”

“okay– wait, what?” xiao begins to sputter, covering his face with his hand. “i never said anything about that!”

“gege, everyone else may be stupid, but i know you the best.” ganyu sticks her tongue out and does a peace sign. “out of all the other teams in the camp, i only ever saw you hanging out with kaedehara gege— can i call him that? — for most of our trip there. plus, you talk about him to papa!”

“it’s only because papa asked.” xiao grumbles. after they came home from inazuma, zhongli asked him about the camp and inazuma itself. in an off-handed comment, xiao mentioned going to the shrine with the narukami captain. his father had been elated that xiao made a friend from another nation and since then asked about him whenever the topic headed towards baseball. “and i only went with him because i lost a bet!”

“that doesn’t explain why he always went with you after dinner.” ganyu singsongs.

so it is obvious. “the lights were broken!”

“they fixed it on the weekend.”

“they did? i didn’t notice.” by then, xiao had been accustomed to kazuha trailing after him in their evening walk that he didn’t mind so much anymore, especially after kazuha confirmed he was wanye.

“admit it! he likes you, right?”

xiao sighs, about to admit defeat when ganyu’s question hits him. “huh? what do you mean he likes me?”

“he didn’t really need to jump through hoops to get you both alone together, but i understand why he did it. you’re like a prickly fruit to new people, gege.” ganyu has a self-satisfied grin, one she often wears after hitting one of xiao’s harder to hit pitches. “or a cat that needs to trust people before being really cuddly with them!”

“i’m not…!” xiao fumes, scrubbing at his cheeks to will away the flush from spreading. he was attempting to ask ganyu on her thoughts to discern if she thought kazuha was a bad person, and here he is, furiously blushing over her teasing remarks.

it’s at this moment zhongli decides to return, a steaming pot of pulled noodle soup in his gloved hands. “ganyu, your poor gege looks red all over… are you messing with him again?”

“sorry, papa. gege is fun to tease when he’s embarrassed. he was just asking me about his friend!”

“oh, xiao, are you having troubles with xingqiu and the others?” his father asks with a frown.

“no, it’s nothing like that. i just wanted to know ganyu’s thoughts on a friend i have.”

“yeah, because he li—” xiao gives her a pointed look and she shuts up immediately, to his surprise. “he’s like, a really nice person! i don’t think he could ever be awful.” she shoots him a look of her own that said ‘you owe me an explanation for that!’.

“oh, i see.” zhongli sets the pot down on the table and steps back with a smile. “alright, kids, let’s eat!”

dinner finishes up an hour later. xiao leaves after cleaning the dishes, mumbling out his goodnights as he trudges up the stairs very well knowing he’d be up playing his ds. in his room, he throws the ds onto the bed and searches for his phone to check for any notifications before crashing out for the night.

his stomach immediately drops at the notification spelling out: three missed calls from kazuha. without thinking, xiao presses on the notification and the call goes into ‘ringing’.

“oh, crap, what do i even say!” xiao groans out loud, pulling at his hair. “you idiot!”

“what a greeting, captain.” kazuha’s voice connects on the other end, and xiao feels a mixture of embarrassment and relief sink into him. “i suppose i deserve it for not calling you in over a month.”

xiao begins to shake his head in earnest. it’s a voice call, xiao, get your grip together! “no! i mean, i understand if you had your reasons…”

“these three weeks have been insane,” kazuha complains, accompanied by the sound of rustling cloth. “i haven’t been able to catch a break in awhile.”

“do you want to talk about it…?”

“maybe later… talking to you is enough to make me feel better.” he hasn’t heard kazuha’s airy laugh in so long that the butterflies hit him at full force. “to be honest, i thought you were completely done with me after you didn’t pick up any of my calls.”

“i was eating dinner with my family.” xiao huffs.

“i know, i was just… worried. if anything, seeing you call me was such a surprise i nearly shook the whole house awake in my excitement.”

“i don’t think i could ever be upset enough with you to completely ignore you.” xiao muses, flopping back onto his bed. “are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?”

“if you have all night for a long story, sure.”

“as long as you don’t fall asleep first.”

“hey, that was you!” kazuha retorts.

“just get to the point, kaedehara.” xiao deadpans.

“alright, you know our ace, kuni, right?” well acquainted with his glares, xiao thinks. “recently, we just found out that his mother has quite the political influence in inazuma. like, a big shot military position, too.”

the thought simmers in his mind for a second, before he asks, “how did you guys never notice that?”

“kuni never talks about his family, so we just let him be. they’re kind of estranged since kuni lives with a family friend, but i guess his mom has been trying to rekindle their relationship because get this,” kazuha pauses for emphasis, “she talked about our team on national television! for comparison, that's like the equivalent of one of the qixing praising your achievements on liyue’s biggest news outlets.”

xiao tries to imagine it. it is unfathomable to have your praises be sung to the whole nation, not to mention one by a person with that much political power. “wow.”

“fast forward to our arrival in inazuma, and we get swarmed by reporters! it was crazy— but good thing kuni stepped forward and told them to screw off.” kazuha snickers. “since then, our school has been interviewed by news outlets hungry for a scoop– to the point they were waiting outside our gates and interviewed any student that walked past.”

“isn’t that illegal?” xiao asks, furrowing his brows. having a bunch of reporters lying around waiting behind a gate to interview highschoolers is quite concerning…

“yeah, but i guess kuni said something to his mom, because they stopped coming after two days. but that didn’t stop our classmates from bothering us.” kazuha lets out a big sigh, and a part of xiao wants to jump on the next flight to inazuma to comfort him in person. “everyday it’s ‘yo, kaedehara-kun, can i join the baseball team? i want to go on tv, too!’ or ‘kaedehara-senpai, if we start dating, we could become famous together on tv!’. annoying blathers like that are near endless.” 

it’s ridiculous how immediate xiao’s reaction is to bristle at the mere mention of kazuha dating someone else. nevertheless, he remains composed and nods his head. “that’s understandable. does it bother you?”

“to an extent.” comes kazuha’s grumble. “i understand they’re excited that our school has been recognized for its achievements by someone of power, but still! the baseball team isn’t accepting any new positions, and to simply date me for the purposes of going famous is an abhorrent idea.”

“has there been any good that came out of this, at least?”

“to start, a few recruiters have come to talk to the team about professional league positions.” 

xiao gasps in surprise. “kazuha, that’s great! congratulations!”

“a few businesses also offered sponsorships for our team, which would still continue even after the third years graduate after spring, which i’m thankful for. as their captain, i’m glad they’ll have ample opportunities to keep them on their toes even after we’re gone.”

“captain, you’re starting to sound like you’re about to pass on.” xiao laughs. “but sponsorships? i’ve only ever recalled snezhnayan schools having that sort of backing from their pro-teams.”

in liyue, businesses are more focused on agricultural exports and performance troupes, so it’s unheard of to hear of a business sponsoring a highschool baseball team.

“i guess that’s what happens if your teammates’ mother is a high ranking general in the military.” kazuha mutters with a heavy sigh.

“i’m glad your achievements are recognized. did you get scouted to join a team?”

“... i did. they said i could join right after graduation.” kazuha says, though there’s a sliver of hesitation that lingers in his voice. “but i don’t know if i’m going to accept it.”

even if they are friends, xiao can’t help but envy the opportunity kazuha was given. here comes the all-powerful mother of one of his teammates, who rockets them into national tv and sings their praises for their achievements. there’s no point in wondering why so many inazuman professional leagues are after them, but it’s even more pointless to even get jealous because xiao is not even inazuman.

still, is it wrong for him to want his team to be recognized in liyue for their achievements, for consistently participating in nationals for about two years now?

regardless, kazuha’s strength and ability in baseball would always be a unique point that the professional league would catch on in the future. xiao just needs to be patient and wait for his turn to come, too.

“you’d be stupid not to accept it.” xiao says pointedly, “i think you should go for it, kazuha.”

“then call me stupid, because i want to wait for you!” kazuha argues. “and it’s not right to accept the offer either. i feel as though they’re only asking me to join only because kuni’s mom said a few nice things about us on tv.”

annoyance begins to bubble within xiao at kazuha’s stubbornness. “do you not believe in my abilities to bring me to the professional league right after?”

kazuha’s retort is quick and sharp.  “xiao, i never said that. i’ve told you countless times of how i have faith in your skills.”

“then would it kill you to go pro without me? i told you, you don’t need to think about me!” xiao’s mouth twists into a frown. arguing with kazuha won’t do them any good, but he can’t just be the reason kazuha throws away his chances of going pro when people would kill to have the same opportunities he did.

“don’t you get it? i don’t want to wait alone anymore!” there’s an obvious shift in his voice, if anything it sounds more pained than angry. “would you let me be selfish this once?”

are they still talking about baseball? “if you were being selfish over your future career choices? no! if i’m not good enough yet, then i’ll just have to do better.”

“you’ll always be good enough to me.” kazuha promptly answers with a determined voice that renders xiao quiet for a few seconds.

cheeks pink, xiao feels all the fight leave his body at the statement. “...kazuha, just reconsider their offer. i still have your omamori too, remember?”

“... right. the omamori.” kazuha exhales. “i’m sorry, i got carried away. i don’t like it when you put yourself down.”

“you defend my honor more than i defend it myself.” xiao jokes, trying to lighten the mood back up. how could they argue just weeks after not even talking?

“would i really be your rival if i don’t talk about how brilliant you are?” xiao could already hear the grin in his voice.

“knowing you, i suppose not. all jokes aside, you’ll reconsider it, right?”

there’s a beat, and xiao bites his lip from spouting something stupid to ruin their improving mood. but kazuha’s resounding “i will, promise,” spreads relief to his tense body.

“good. i’m glad.”

“anything for you, captain.” kazuha’s teasing drawl returns at full force, while xiao suppresses the urge to giggle and kick his feet at such an obvious flirty joke. “so, how are gaming and chongyun doing?”

“oh, you’ll never believe this. they went on their fifth date after school the other day and…” their gossiping goes on late into the night, bringing him more joy than the ds that lies discarded on the side of his bed could ever do.

kazuha’s prior hesitance did leave an ugly taste in his mouth when they argued, still, xiao has faith in working out that problem when the future arrives. they’ll play at nationals, go pro, and face off in a real professional league match.

because that’s how the story always goes, right?

as the end of the year approaches, xiao makes it his mission to master the screwball. with a lot of free time on his hands, he either spends it at home doing swing practice with ganyu or goes to jueyun jian’s baseball field to join his teammates for practice.

they’ll be having a few practice matches with other liyuean teams once the winter break closes out; xiao is itching to get strikeouts from players that aren’t his teammates using his new pitch. it would be a disadvantage to present it so early before regionals, but it’ll be worth it once he figures out how to control its stability and use its full potential before nationals.

he stays behind longer during practice, turning down offers to go out for lunch or dinner in favor of perfecting his skills. the amount of practice they do within a day never feels like it’s enough, not when there could be so much at stake. as the ace and the captain, there’s the need to back up his team with all he can do from the mound and the plate. as a highschooler close to graduating, xiao needs to perform his best if he even wants to be recognized for his abilities.

nevertheless, deep down he knows that he’s been spurred on by kazuha’s recent revelation. even though xiao likes him so much, why does he still feel like he’s falling behind? jealousy isn’t a forceful thing urging him to break their friendship off, though nothing stops quiet resentment from plaguing his thoughts whenever he thinks about kazuha’s recruitment.

thus, to distract his guilty conscience from eating at him alive, what can xiao do other than cope through baseball?

he’s only thankful that chongyun doesn’t mind the cold that much when they remain in the bullpen till the early hours of the evening.

xiao twists his wrist to add more of a spin to the screwball, scowling when it goes off trajectory and lands below chongyun’s mitt. the spin is difficult to pull off after he’s used to the straightforward throw of his changeup, but hell, xiao is determined to get it down before the break ends.

“you would’ve walked the batter if you tried doing that.” chongyun says, throwing the ball back to him. “your index and middle fingers are the ones helping the spin, not your wrist!”

“i do know that, yes…” xiao mutters. he attempts it once more, without twisting his wrist as much. it lands in chongyun’s mitt and xiao is about to celebrate until he sees chongyun shaking his head. “what was wrong with that one?”

“it wasn’t that obvious but it broke a bit early.” chongyun tosses the ball back and xiao suppresses the urge to groan. “i don’t expect you to get it down just after a couple months, especially when it took you a while to master the two seamer.”

“in my defense, i was in middle school when i first learned the two seamer! of course it’d take me a while, i didn’t have much experience yet. it’s completely different now.” xiao says with a scowl, the ball held tightly in his grip. he can’t be a slow learner if he wants to be scouted for a pro team— there’s no way a team would want him if he couldn’t get a pitch down so soon.

“xiao, we’ve gone over this. just even getting to nationals is enough! i’m sure you’ll get scouted—”

“how did you handle gaming telling you he wasn’t going to go pro?” xiao asks on impulse. he immediately looks back up in shock and is about to apologize but chongyun beats him to it.

“you guys had to talk some sense into me, remember? we had a full blown fight over it, i didn’t take it well at all.” chongyun looks at him with an incredulous look, like he couldn’t believe xiao forgot about it so soon. “how is this related?”

great, now xiao has to come up with some bogus reason on the fly. “it does, in a way. just answer my question first.”

“i apologized to gaming for not supporting his wishes, and i accepted the fact that he has different things in mind! if it makes him happy, then i’ll be happy.” chongyun says, a soft smile on his face. “i was too caught up in my own feelings and how i felt that i forgot in the end, it was his choice to make.”

“caught up in my own feelings…” xiao murmurs back, his eyes flitting to the ground as chongyun’s words repeat in his mind. looking back on it, xiao had been argumentative when kazuha insisted on waiting for him. if it really made kazuha happy to wait for him, the obvious answer was to let him make his own choice— even if that meant rejecting the offer.

“of course, i think he’d be an exceptional shortstop if he went pro, but he’s said that he feels happier when he’s cooking food for me.” there’s color tinting chongyun’s cheeks, his eyes brimming with fondness. “so, i’ll be happy for him no matter what. does that answer your question?”

xiao bites his lip and nods. he feels like an awful friend. “yes, that answers it.”

“okay, now you have to explain why you’d randomly ask me that. pitch.” chongyun positions his mitt to the corner of where a batter would be standing, and xiao huffs a laugh at chongyun’s way of getting him to talk.

it’s stress relieving, he admits, as he stretches up to prepare and throws another screwball. it’s not a good one, but it feels good to just throw in between talking. “kazuha told me he got an offer to go pro right after graduation.”

chongyun pauses, before throwing the ball back to him. “how is that bad, then? i thought it would’ve been something worse, like, i dunno, he’s quitting to become a wandering samurai.”

“how did you even come to that conclusion?” xiao sighs and shakes his head. “he told me that he was going to reject the offer because it didn’t feel right to just take it.”

it’s pointless to include the part where kazuha claimed he wanted to wait for him, chongyun would be none the wiser.

“and i’m guessing you told him that if he rejected the offer, he’d be stupid.” chongyun says with a deadpan. he crosses his arms and xiao presses his mouth into a thin line.

“naturally.”

“sigh, so much for ‘it’s his own choice to make!’.” the talking gesture he makes with his mitt is a direct dig at him, but chongyun isn’t wrong. xiao is a hypocrite, through and through. “sure, going pro immediately is what you and i want, but it’s not what everybody else wants.”

xiao narrows his eyes as he looks at the baseball in his palm. “it’s just… it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. he wouldn’t need to wait after graduating… i told him to at least reconsider before rejecting them.”

chongyun opens his mouth to say something, but it leaves him after sighing once more. “fine, but don’t tell him to accept it if he brings it up again. it’s not your life, xiao. it’s his.”

“i know… i— i just wish that…” there’s a lump in xiao’s throat as he struggles to admit his thoughts, his careful composure breaking away bit by bit. he laughs humorlessly and blinks away the tears pricking the corner of his eyes. “i wish that i could get an opportunity like that, too. isn’t that stupid?”

his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper at the end, and the urge to get down and hug his knees is overwhelming.

“how could that be stupid?” there’s a concerned frown on chongyun’s face as he lifts from the ground and walks towards xiao. in all their years of being friends, xiao has only cried in front of him when they lost in the spring regionals. it only occurs to him now that it’s stupid to maintain a cool composure for nearly a decade, only because it results in xiao scrubbing at his eyes in shame over his vulnerable state. “xiao. it’s only natural to want that. is that why you’ve been pushing yourself to practice so much?”

“... kind of.” xiao mutters in defeat, his shoulders sagging down to his sides.

“what would it take for you to believe in yourself? winning nationals and beating kaedehara? going pro right after?” chongyun puts a hand on his shoulder. it’s a gentle grip, but it’s one that makes the tears brimming in his eyes fall as he blinks at the ground. “we’re going to be alright, even if we don’t win the nationals, xiao. even then, you know our team would do their absolute best to win— we’ll back you up no matter what happens. because…?”

xiao sniffs and smiles a little, “because baseball is a team sport…”

“that’s right. so stop burdening yourself. even if you are the ace or the captain, it takes an entire team to win. still, as long as you play like you always do, you’ll go pro. trust me and your team. trust kaedehara.”

“i …” xiao glances up; he must look snotty and teary eyed, but he smiles right through it. “trust you all.”

chongyun smiles with satisfaction and pulls him into a side hug. “great. now let’s go home, it’s actually freezing!”

“alright… but can we still practice tomorrow?” xiao asks, fiddling with his fingers as they walk out of the bullpen.

“mm, as long as you agree to hangout with the others instead of practicing this late.” chongyun says with a shrug.

the retort xiao had in mind immediately falls flat on his tongue after chongyun shoots him a glare.

in the subsequent weeks, xiao allows himself to try and relax when he’s out with his friends instead of thinking about baseball all the time. he hasn’t had a chance to bring it up to kazuha, not when kazuha doesn’t have time long enough for them to properly talk outside of studying for his end of year exams.

he’s itching to apologize when there's guilt continuously gnawing at his brain, but a part of him also just wishes to have their hours-long talks again without baseball or exams in mind. kazuha suggests sending each other gifts for new years a week before his exam ends, ones they could open on call together after narukami high let their students out for the holidays.

at the drop of a hat, xiao thinks of multiple different things to send to inazuma. he’s not an excellent gift giver by any means, however, his sentimental side could think of good gift ideas at times. the entire time while they shopped, xiao did his best to ignore ganyu’s smug grins while pondering over which items to include in his package.

in the end, xiao settles on a red woolen scarf, a box of gaming’s family’s famous tea, and a handwritten letter— he gets a little giddy wrapping everything up in a nice box and he drops it off at the post office the morning after arrives.

their plans get a little thrown off schedule when the last two weeks of the year become busy for both xiao and kazuha. it’s busier this year, moreso when zhongli decides to go on a quick trip to chenyu vale to meet up with a few relatives.

their family arrives back home a day before the new year, xiao and ganyu thoroughly drained from meeting family and temporarily sick of tea after drinking it like water multiple times a day. of course, zhongli had bought multiple boxes for them to keep at home, however the siblings refused to drink any at least after a month.

in the evening, xiao is close to falling asleep in his room for the day until his phone begins to ring. after struggling for a few annoying seconds, he manages to pick it up while keeping his eyes closed.

kazuha’s voice directly rings out of his phone upon picking it up. “xiao! i have a surprise for you.” 

“my gift? i still haven’t received it, by the way.” xiao says, stretching his arms up as he sits up on his bed.

“your gift is outside your window!”

“what do you mean?”

“just look outside!” xiao opens up the blinds from his window and sees nothing except the small vegetable garden his father has been working on.

“there’s nothing there except the garden?”

“oh? hold on for a sec—” there’s a person that scampers into view, one with a red streak that makes his heart jump up in familiarity. “here!”

with a paper bag in hand, kazuha is hopping behind the fence of the vegetable garden, dressed in a white turtleneck sweater and comfortable brown sweatpants; the cherry on top of is xiao’s gift wrapped around his neck. out of shock, xiao’s phone nearly slips out of his hand. ”is that actually you?’

kazuha stops hopping and deadpans into the phone, “no, it’s fengyuan wanye, kazuha’s twin.”

xiao pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. “i’m going down there before my dad kicks you out for looking suspicious—”

“um, too late for that.” right on cue, his father steps into the scene and crosses his arms as he stares kazuha down. xiao frantically dresses himself and exits his room in such speed that he almost trips over his feet running down the stairs.

unscathed, he bursts out of the front door and is close to yelling at his father to cease his interrogation, only to stop when he properly looks at the scene unfolding before him.

“—talks about how you were such a great host in inazuma! thank you for taking care of both of my children.”

“it’s no problem, zhongli-xiansheng—” he hasn’t heard kazuha speak in liyuean in so long, but it’s a familiar sound to his ears that carries along a wave of nostalgia.

“there’s no need for that, you’re a friend of the family—”

“it’s the polite thing my mothers would tell me to do—”

“ahem.” xiao clears his throat as he stands with crossed arms and a burning face, ceasing the ‘who can be more polite?’ battle before it gets out of hand.

“oh, xiao, i didn’t know your friend would be visiting liyue!” zhongli says, before turning back to kazuha. “would you like to come in for some tea? we just returned from our trip to chenyu, i might have gotten a bit carried away with my purchases…”

“papa. kazuha and i have plans. i’ll give him a box when we return home later.” xiao shoots a glance at kazuha and blinks at him to play along.

kazuha makes a hesitant face but it’s quickly replaced with a smile. “yes! i’ll come back later, zhongli-xiansheng!”

“alright, you kids go on and have fun. go enjoy the fireworks! i’ll stay at home with meimei.” zhongli smiles and ruffles xiao’s hair. it’s an unbreakable habit his father has, however it’s one xiao does not mind.

zhongli leaves and it’s just kazuha and xiao standing by the vegetable garden. “so, do you want to tell me how you found my address?”

kazuha chuckles and raises an eyebrow. “it’s written on the very lovely present you sent.”

“and you’re wearing my present…” xiao murmurs, stepping closer to touch the soft material. the scent of baked goods wafts from kazuha, it’s almost tempting to just hug him and soak in his presence.

“how could i not? i do love it, and it was a gift from someone i care about.” xiao looks up to catch kazuha’s gentle smile. he’s missed him so bad, bad enough that he has to physically stop himself from reaching up and kissing him there on the spot. but he has decorum and they are still standing on his front porch, he absolutely refuses to be seen by his family in this manner.

“cornball.” xiao rolls his eyes while smiling. “i’m happy you like it. where’s mine?”

“let’s go find a spot to watch the fireworks, then i’ll give it to you!” kazuha pulls him and they walk out of the neighborhood, the sun completely sets and stars hang in the night sky when they find an empty bench that overlooks the main city from above.

there’s almost no gap between their thighs as kazuha pulls out a box from the paper bag and presents it to him. “your present, captain.”

‘you being here is already enough of a present for me’, xiao thinks while he unravels the ribbon from the present with deft fingers. inside the box sits a pair of deep indigo gloves, made from the softest material xiao has ever felt.

“you mentioned that your hands are usually cold, so…” kazuha mumbles, scratching the back of his neck. there’s a red flush over his cheeks, and xiao is almost giddy at how shy he looks. “i don’t know what size your hands are so i used mine for reference.”

xiao slips his hands into the gloves, and they fit snugly over his fingers and palm. “they’re perfect.”

kazuha looks down at his hands and breathes a laugh, “they do fit like a glove, yes.”

“thank you, kazuha.” there’s a burst of courage that spurs him to gently put his gloved hand over kazuha’s own. kazuha makes no move to pull away, resulting in xiao’s heart only thumping even quicker in his ears.

the moment kazuha flips his hand to entwine his fingers with xiao’s is the closest xiao’s heart has ever come to exploding. “if it makes you happy, then i’m happy.”

the recruitment incident pops up into xiao’s head, and he needs to talk about it now or he’d feel guilty over it forever— “kazuha, what i said about your recruitment the other day—”

“it’s okay, xiao. i…” kazuha takes a deep breath, his eyes turning solemn as his lips press into a smile, “i think i’ll accept their offer after nationals.”

the relief that floods xiao is imminent. “oh! okay. i’m sorry for forcing you to reconsider, i was just—”

“no, i understand.” kazuha murmurs, his hand rubbing circles into xiao’s hand with his thumb. “as long as we’re both happy… then i’m alright with it.”

“i… yeah.” xiao answers, nodding his head. the air has gotten thicker and there’s an anxious feeling prickling like needles into his side, but if kazuha is alright, then it’s sure to be fine.

kazuha clears his throat and he leans back on the bench, a carefree smile returning to his face. “anyway, i’m glad i came back to liyue. my moms brought the idea up and i agreed to it so quickly, they were both surprised!”

“did you oppose coming here that often?” xiao laughs, the tension slowly leaving his body.

“not really, it’s just that i’ve always gone with the flow of things in our family.” kazuha shrugs. “i’m sure they’d be thrilled to meet you, though.”

“mm, maybe during lantern rite when you come by after nationals?” it would be interesting to see the kind of women that raised kazuha to be the kind-hearted and brilliant person he is today.

“oh, that’d be perfect! you could bring your dad and ganyu-chan, too!”

“i can already hear them agreeing to this proposal before even hearing about it…”

their talks continue late until the fireworks are set to begin, it’s almost insane to xiao how hours pass by in a blur when they’re together on and off the phone. perhaps the kami really are listening to him when he holds the omamori late at night in the comfort of his bedroom, his yearning urges to see kazuha heard even when they were said in the quietest of prayers.

the countdown begins and their hands are still held tight together, down to the moment the new year breaks and fireworks launch in the sky above them. it’s a dazzling mix of bright red, blues and yellows; xiao can’t look away from the spectacular view in front of him and hopelessly dreams to have this for every single new year afterwards. 

he glances to the side and finds kazuha’s gaze already on him. through the fireworks and cheers, kazuha beams and mouths, “happy new year, xiao.”

a laugh bubbles out of xiao’s throat, his heart full of happiness and hands warm with his new gloves and kazuha’s hand as he mouths back, “happy new year.”

their walk back to xiao’s house is silent, the leaves crunching under their shoes as they approach his home.

“i’ll be seeing you in nationals, then. for real, this time. no more surprise visits.” kazuha chuckles and removes a stray leaf from xiao’s hair with the brush of his hand. “i had fun today.”

“yeah, me too.” he’s biting his lip to stop himself from smiling so much. his cheeks are beginning to hurt, however he can’t help how happy he feels at this moment. he wants it to last for eons, no, forever. even if kazuha didn’t share his feelings, perhaps xiao could accept what they have for what it is.

“xiao… i…” kazuha begins to utter, his adam’s apple bobbing as his gaze flickers from xiao’s eyes to the door.

“yes?” xiao asks breathlessly with a smile, the butterflies in his stomach refusing to cease their flutters.

kazuha grins and he looks so handsome even if they are simply standing under the lamp at xiao’s front door, xiao is so close to pulling him down by his scarf. “it’s just that, i—”

“gege, is that you?” the door clicks open and ganyu stares at them for a hot minute. “woah, it’s kaedehara gege!”

“gege?” kazuha parrots as he looks between ganyu and xiao.

“yeah, since you’ll be ma–mmph!” xiao removes his hand from kazuha’s grip to close ganyu’s mouth before she begins yapping.

“she just admires you a lot, like another big brother figure!” xiao exclaims, hoping his eye isn’t twitching when he feels ganyu’s glare on him. he releases her mouth and she makes a show of taking a deep breath.

“ahh i see! i don’t have any siblings, but you’d be a wonderful little sister, ganyu-chan!”

“she’s a handful, but she’s a good little sister.” xiao ruffles ganyu’s hair, much like their father does, and she rolls her eyes with a smile. he leaves ganyu at the door with kazuha after he trusts that his little sister won’t be spouting any more embarrassing things to retrieve the box of chenyu tea that his father had promised. 

he’s a little reluctant to say goodbye to kazuha when they finally have to part. ganyu goes back inside their home and xiao allows himself to be a little courageous as he sees kazuha off. “don’t miss me too much, kazuha.”

“i have the whole year ahead of me. there won’t be a day this year where i don’t miss you, captain.” kazuha’s laugh is fond and his smile is brilliant as he begins to step back. “see you at nationals.”

“see you at nationals.” xiao replies, his smile just as fond. he stands at his doorway, cheeks flush and heart pounding until kazuha disappears into the distance. 

their little touches and tender words exchanged throughout the day keep him up until dawn. in this new year, perhaps xiao would finally be courageous enough and confess his feelings.

the winter break ends in a blink of an eye. xiao isn’t quite glad to be back in school so soon, though at least he has baseball practice at the end of each day until regionals begin. it’ll be a month of normalcy, followed by at least two more months of absolute hell before xiao’s fate is decided after nationals.

watching his friends gather around the cafeteria at lunch, gaming and chongyun sharing their lunch while xingqiu babbles on about albedo’s recent drawings for his newest novel idea— it sinks in that this would be one of the last times they’d ever have something like this. once they go down their different paths, could they still have time for each other? would they drift apart and never speak again, closing out this chapter of their lives?

regardless of what happens, xiao will cherish having such friends and teammates, even if he doesn’t voice his thoughts out loud. with the best of his abilities, he’ll show his gratitude by making them winners at nationals one last time.

one week before they have their first scheduled practice match with a different school, xiao nails down throwing the screwballs to different corners. it’s effective against their own cleanup team, which leads to chongyun giving him clearance to begin using it in their current arsenal of pitches.

just as their battery predicted, the pitch is an unexpected new ball that their opponents never see coming. xiao’s winning pitches have always been his two seamer and changeup, it’s satisfying to throw in a screwball every once in a while and witness the batter’s brain work overtime in real time. their team gains momentum with every strikeout they get; their victories follow them all the way to regionals when they go against some of the best schools in their region one last time.

near overworking himself in the winter has its perks, despite the obvious downside leading to concerning his friends and family, and it’s prevalent when the loudspeakers boom with praises for jueyun jian’s best season at regionals. 

the last regionals trophy he holds in his hands after they win is a special one, even if it looks the same as every other one they own back at the school, and he nearly bursts into tears when it sinks into him at the realization— this would really be the last time they could play baseball as an entire team one last time.

in true kazuha fashion, he sends his good luck and congratulations before and after every match. xiao tries to reciprocate it as much as he can, finding time in between his studies, practice and matches to find time to talk to kazuha. the big gaps of time between their messages and calls are beginning to grow as their season grows busier by the second, but every passing moment they have is just as precious; the wait would be worth it once national ends.

in spite of everything, the inkling of doubts over his own worth continues to cling to him like a parasite.

everyone recognizes this season as their best, though however hard xiao attempts to rid of this insecurity and doubt he continues to fail as they progress along the season.

chongyun’s words echo in his head if he so much as thinks about staying late after practice, but it’s difficult to peel himself away from the field to focus on maintaining his health and the state of his pitching. no matter what he does, the heavy burden on his shoulders that he bore upon himself remains.

it gets especially worse, somehow, when they enter nationals for the very last time.

and just like kazuha and him both had wished, spring nationals are held in liyue. in their return to nantianmen outdoor stadium, it’s almost like their first time at nationals two years ago, the highschool baseball league world blissfully unaware of jueyun jian’s skyrocketing potential to claim the trophy upon their debut.

by now, it’s well known to the other nations that they are a force to be reckoned with. xiao has seen more right handed batters hit his pitches with less difficulty compared to his first year, though he’s an ever evolving southpaw ace who remains unpredictable even to the most seasoned players.

ace he may be, his insecurities attach themselves to his limbs when he’s up on the mound. in the preliminary round, jueyun jian goes against sumeru’s representing school— surasthana academy— their opponent from last year’s spring finals.

their ace is second year student nilou, a favorite at nationals for her effortlessly graceful pitches done in a dance like fashion that never fails to wow the crowds. it’s close in similarity to xingqiu’s elegant pitching, their batters are used to his excessive actions before his pitching that it becomes quick to nail down the kind of pitches nilou throws.

it’s enough for their runners to get on base and gain some points for the team before their team switches. now it is xiao’s turn to maintain their momentum from his place on the mound.

as he walks onto the field, the shackles around his feet grow heavier as doubt begins to sink into his gut. when he reaches the top of the mound, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. the echoing cheers from people in stands isn’t a sound xiao often listens to when they play, though somehow, it’s a grounding feeling to know that he should perform like his nation has watched him do in every single match from before.

narukami high must be watching from up there too, and xiao can’t let them see how much he feels like he’s lagging behind, not when he’s determined to beat their team one last time before graduating.

chongyun calls for inside pitches to strike out their leadoff— satisfaction washes over him upon three consecutive strikeouts on their first batter and his worries begin to dwindle. the cleanup batter isn’t as easy to handle once they step up to the plate, but one ball later, chongyun puts his mitt to his chest and calls for a screwball.

xiao smirks as his fingers move to change his grip on the ball behind his mitt. it’s their first time showcasing the screwball in nationals, and it’s especially risky with the two runners on base, though it lives up to its name as it spins when xiao releases it. the batter swings right over the ball after it passes and it’s a strikeout.

the first inning is over just like that and chongyun bumps his fist with his mitt, grinning from behind the faceguard. as the game continues on, jueyun jian’s basemen go all out once surasthana’s players begin to see through the gaps of xiao’s pitches. it’s exhilarating to see the ball fly from one baseman to the other, including when chongyun throws without a second thought in between bases for gaming to catch.

gaming whirls chongyun around as their teams switch, and while all their teammates laugh, he knows they’re a team that can’t be beat. xiao can’t think of a team that deserves to win more than they do. as much as he wants to be recognized for his talents, the team supporting him from behind the field deserves it even more.

they were close to a tie, but ganyu’s homerun was a happy addition to their final points in the final inning as they moved up to the semifinals.

coach xianyun forces him to take a break once they leave the field, muttering something about how xiao should maintain this level of focus and performance if they want to last all the way to the final match. his friends nods are resolute, too, and xingqiu even offers to become the starting pitcher in their next match.

xiao refuses, obviously, but the nagging only adds onto his quiet disgruntlement. are they worried he’s going to strain himself in order to reach the very top?

“if you faint on us before we even make it to the final round, my bat will be the first thing you see when you wake up.” ganyu grumbles from his side, holding up a fan to cool down his heated face. 

below them in the field, fontaine and natlan are playing against each other, jueyun jian will play against the winning team tomorrow and xiao is here to analyze their potential opponents before tomorrow’s match. the rest of his team left after they made sure xiao wouldn’t run off to the bullpens with chongyun, and ganyu opted to stay behind with him and watch.

xiao rolls his eyes and sighs. “you know i won’t do that, mei.” ganyu isn’t as much of a worrywart as xiao is, though he knows that she means well. they’ve always looked after each other, but he can’t help but maintain his levelheaded big brother role in front of her.

if he was vulnerable, would she think of him less?

“winning is important, sure, but you as a person are just as important to the entire team, gege. kaedehara gege would definitely agree with me if he were here.” ganyu says with a smirk, nodding to herself. xiao simply shakes his head and sighs once more.

nonetheless, he does know ganyu is right. winning would be nice and it’d be the best way to end his last time at nationals, xiao would do anything in a heartbeat even if it was at the cost of his worries and burdens, but would his teammates feel the same way? it leaves a bitter taste in xiao’s mouth to think about letting his entire team down, but it’d be just as bad to see them lose so soon.

they’ve been working hard for these last two years, they’ve made it into nationals this far— they certainly could do it again.

the match below ends with the fontaine representative, palais mermonia high, winning. their ace, lyney, remains ruthless with his forkball’s speed and precision. it’s sure to mess up a few of his team’s batters in the first innings, but xiao has figured out the trick that makes it a pretty good chance for a long ball, a homerun, even.

there are southpaws on fontaine’s team that could be a pain in the ass to deal with tomorrow,  pitching multiple innings would risk easy points for them to hit off xiao. switching with xingqiu and allowing him to close the match would be their best bet at winning— plus, he’s also a fan favorite of the viewers at nationals by now. xiao would just need to suck up and apologize for being so snappy with him.

he discuss his plans with the entire team over dinner, meticulously going over every player and their ace in precision to avoid another loss like fall nationals from happening again. the team conjured up their strategies to go against palais mermonia, the fall nationals and today’s match as references. with the help of coach xianyun and their own experiences from last year, they come down with a solid plan more foolproof than last year’s. 

this year, they aren’t going down without a fight.

late in the night in the rented dorms, xiao finds himself still watching their nationals match from last year, during an inning where he nearly walked one of their batters. a text notification pulls his attention away, one from kazuha, making him stifle a giddy laugh at finally hearing from him.

it’s only a short ‘you were amazing today. can’t wait to see you pitch tomorrow! let’s do our best, captain~’, but it doesn’t fail to make him smile like a fool. he sends a quick reply back and puts his phone away, closing his eyes as he waits for sleep to come.

basking in the glow of liyue’s morning sun, xiao feels like he’s in a significantly better mood in the morning compared to the day before. it’s the boost he needs to excel during today’s match, earning him three consecutive strikeouts of fontaine’s batting lineup.

the crowd goes wild and xiao wipes the sweat on his forehead, laughing it off with a huff.

lyney’s winning forkball is still a problem his team can’t properly get down, it’s not a surprise to be on the mound in less than twenty minutes. xiao ruffles ganyu’s hair and tells her to do her best when she goes up to bat next time, and she salutes with a smile before putting her helmet on and running off into the field.

the cleanup line is tough when they’re all southpaws that hit xiao’s pitches with near relative ease, however their earlier prep has prepared the fielders and basemen to swiftly deal with runners. xiangling is quick to throw the ball to xinyan, where it then launches to hu tao and back onto home base— they get two outs before ten seconds have passed.

they’ve exceeded their performance from last year’s match, the need to redeem themselves and get a place higher than fourth in the ranking is an all consuming need that xiao feels within his bones. if they win this one, and narukami wins theirs: there’s no doubt that they’d meet.

thus, in his resolute determination, xiao made sure all his pitches would be strikeouts. when xingqiu enters the fray, xiao gives him a high five and slumps onto the bench in the dugout. 

they’re so close to finals— xingqiu just has to keep pitching until their team overtakes palais mermonia in points. as they expected, the southpaw batters don’t anticipate the switch and their synergy wanes, allowing jueyun to make up for their lost points.

after a tough match that almost spans across three hours, lyney closes the inning with a walk— the entire team breathes a sigh of relief once jueyun jian wins and is cleared to move on to the finals.

upon leaving the field, narukami high is there to congratulate them.

“yo, jueyun ace! we’re going to win this match against natlan— then we’ll be seeing you in the finals!” arataki’s voice booms, which results in a few of the narukami players shaking their head at his antics. “right, kuni?”

kunikuzushi all but says a word, though he remains amicable after a roll of his eyes and sending them a firm nod.

“captain xiao.” kazuha says, taking a step towards xiao. it’s almost embarrassing how many eyes are on them, however it doesn’t deter kazuha from making a heart fluttering smile that nearly breaks xiao’s stoic composure. “i hope i’ll be seeing you on the mound tomorrow.”

“you know we’ll be there too, right?” xingqiu pipes up from his side, a smug tone in his voice.

“i know. i’m just looking forward to seeing the captain. no hard feelings, xingqiu.” kazuha winks. “all jokes aside, congratulations on winning. your team has always been a powerhouse in our eyes, it’ll be serious business tomorrow.”

 xiao cocks his head to the side and grins. “i’m expecting nothing less from you, captain.”

the teams part, and amongst the clamor of his teammates teasing him or yapping over narukami’s playful threat, the thought of tomorrow looms over xiao’s head.

this would really be it. if narukami makes it, xiao would stand there on the mound across from kazuha, as all the seven nations watch on.

it’s a daunting thought, one where doubt lingers longer than it should in his head, though xiao refuses to let narukami lose so easily. with their current winning streak, they are bound to go against a powerful foe matching them in strength.

it could be the best match in nationals’ history.

and xiao undoes it all just as it becomes his absolute worst match to date.

somewhere along the lead up to the finals, narukami and jueyun jian’s match becomes the most anticipated yet in spring nationals history. walking into the stadium isn’t exactly a breeze; there was a staggering amount of inazuman reporters scattered around setting up their recording equipment and the packed stands filled with liyueans and inazumans alike.

he can only hope his father managed to snag enough seats beforehand— he had been excitedly babbling about bringing his work friends to watch his kids go up against inazuma’s ‘best highschool baseball team’.

since their very first match at nationals, xiao has never felt pressured to carry his team to the finish line. there had never been a moment where he felt close to collapsing from the tense atmosphere in the air weighing down on him like a ton of bricks. even through the most intense of innings, xiao stood tall on the mound with pride for his team and confidence in his pitches.

he won’t let it get to him now, not when he’s so close to the end.

in the locker rooms, gaming hypes their team up while they are minutes away from walking out onto the field. “let’s do this, guys! even if we lose, i’m still glad we got to play together in these last two years. i’ve had a lot of fun.”

“don’t bring up losing when it hasn’t even happened yet!”

“yeah! we’re totally going to win! we’ve gone against them during the training camp before, we can do it again!”

there are a few more collective cheers before gaming turns to xiao, his eyes glimmering expectantly. “captain xiao, any last motivational words for our team?”

“you know i’m not good with speeches, gaming.” xiao says, shaking his head. 

it doesn’t deter his team from yelling ‘we need it, captain! it’s the boost we need out on the field!’ and ‘come on, captain, it’s our last match together with you!’. sentimentality gets the best of him and xiao rolls his eyes while he gets his teammates to gather around him. 

“from the very beginning i’ve always believed that jueyun jian highschool would get to stand on the field at nationals. it was only because of you all that we’re able to get this far. there’s not a single one of you who isn't important to our team, and i’ll hold that close to my heart for a very long time.” xiao murmurs, his eyes scanning over his teammates with something akin to pride filling his heart. “no matter the outcome, i’ll always be proud of this team.”

at his side, xingqiu puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles. “we’re proud of you too, captain. we wouldn’t be here without you.”

xiao looks at the ground at xingqiu’s words. would they be proud even if they didn’t win nationals? there’s room for doubt to grow even if xiao had reassured his team— if they lost, he knows they would all be disappointed at the outcome. xiao can’t risk that happening.

the announcers’ voices begin to filter out from the loudspeakers, the sound booming across the field until it could be heard in the locker room.

“that’s our cue to go out there. let’s go.” chongyun says, ushering their team out the door.

xiao’s heart begins to thunder in his ears as they step into the field. narukami’s team is on the other side of the field and xiao’s eyes are quick to find kazuha’s familiar figure. he allows himself to linger for a moment, to take in kazuha’s form in silent admiration. they’re too far away from each other for xiao to properly see his expression— but he knows there’s a big smile that's there once kazuha spots him.

much to xiao’s embarrassment, kazuha begins to wave wildly.

is it appropriate to be doing this in front of the whole stadium when they were to meet as opponents in just a few more minutes?

still, xiao waves back. there’s a flush on his face and he prays the jumbotron hasn’t been turned on yet.

in the bullpen, chongyun all but says anything about that little moment, simply rolling his eyes and asking him to pitch. 

xiao complies with no complaints. for now, the ball is steady in the palm of his hand. without pitching at his full power, it’s a grounding feeling to let the ball fly from his hand and into chongyun’s awaiting mitt. there’s a small ache in his body from how hard he went yesterday during the fontaine match, but he knows it’ll ebb away into nothing once the adrenaline begins to flood his veins up on the mound.

“your form is great today.” chongyun says after a few throws. 

xiao receives the ball back and does a little flourish, one similar to what xingqiu usually does. “i need to be at my absolute best if i want to win this match.”

“are you still hellbent on winning? even after what i said last winter?” chongyun asks with a frown.

“i don’t know,” xiao looks away, his mouth pressed into a thin line. “but what i do know is that if kazuha gives his all in this match like i told him to, then it’d be up to me to match his energy.”

“ugh, you and your homoerotic rivalry.” chongyun groans.

“hey,” xiao walks up to chongyun, holding out his mitt. “i’ll follow your lead, as always. we can do this.”

chongyun looks at his mitt, before lifting his gaze up to meet xiao’s. “just don’t regret anything, xiao.” he pushes his mitt against xiao’s own and grins. “let’s do our best today.”

the stadium’s air buzzes with anticipation while the teams start to line up on the field. there are banners with their school emblems waving in the stands, a mix of nerves and excitement surging within the crowds as narukami and jueyun jian come face to face. 

an uneasy feeling begins to grow in the pit of xiao’s stomach when he’s reminded of all the inazuman reporters and media outlets. reporters have always been plenty in every final match at nationals, but there’s an overwhelming number of them this time around— most likely due to kunikuzushi’s mother’s influence. 

xiao shakes the thought away. it’ll be easier to ignore them when he begins to focus on pitching up on the mound.

lining up with his teammates to face kazuha isn’t a sight pre-training camp xiao thought he’d ever see. xiao can’t help the small smile on his face when they have to face each other while doing the coin toss in front of an entire stadium, not when kazuha has an equally goofy grin on his face.

the coin lands on heads— kazuha wins. he does a stupid little fist pump gesture and winks at xiao, all in front of the umpire. he chooses for narukami to score first, the knowing glint in his eye as he passes by xiao.

xiao presses his mouth into a thin line and walks back into the dugout, a noticeable chatter picking up in the stands as xingqiu steps out to pitch.

shikanoin has his eyes narrowed when he’s up to bat as leadoff. not only have they caught narukami off guard with the switch in pitchers, but the announcers make it known as their commentary begins with: “instead of jueyun jian’s ace, we have their pitcher xingqiu opening this inning! with his pitching from yesterday against palais memoria, it’s no wonder he’s been sent out first!”

“ignore them, xiao.” coach xianyun says with a clipped tone from his side, her glasses glinting in the light. “we’ll need to preserve your energy. based on what we’ve learnt from the training camp, narukami’s batters are persistent and one is sure that you know of that fact.”

“i apologize for straining myself yesterday.” xiao says, subconsciously rubbing the side of his arm. “if i didn’t, i’m sure i would be able to pitch for the whole entire match—”

coach xianyun clicks her tongue. “not with how much narukami has improved. strain or not, one would have still sent xingqiu to open.”

xiao shuts his mouth and stares out onto the field. shikanoin has made it to the second base, but not without xingqiu striking out the batter that came right after. his teammates begin to shout on the field and in the dugout, ‘two outs!’ yelled into the air as the crowds in stands cheered.

“your team is capable enough to handle narukami’s offense.” coach xianyun turns to him, arms crossed as she leans back to view him with a smile of pride. “you must know that after watching them for this long.”

xiao huffs a laugh. “i know. they’ve always been a force to be reckoned with.”

on cue, there’s an attempt to thwart their defenses when arataki gets a clean hit on xingqiu’s pitch— the ball flies long onto the outfield until xiangling catches it in her mitt and throws it right back to gaming before shikanoin reaches third. the crowd goes wild at the third out and the teams switch positions. there’s a yell stuck in his throat at their strong defense, at how brilliant his teammates are on the field.

they can’t lose. they will not lose.

as soon as kunikuzushi heads up to the mound, there’s a sizable portion of the stadium that  begins to yell and cheer. kunikuzushi remains blank-faced until arataki begins to jump around and wave to the crowd. kunikuzushi’s scowl grows when the announcers begin to talk about his mother, all the while preparing to wind up as hu tao walks up to the plate.

hu tao gets on base even after getting two strikes, much to the probable disgruntlement of kunikuzushi— he’s still scowling and looks like he could kill arataki right about now. it’s not as bad as earlier when the announcers were talking about his mother, it’s more like the same strange glare kunikuzushi kept sending him back in the training camp.

when it’s xiao’s turn, there’s a particularly aggressive splitter that xiao nearly swings at, but he stops himself as the ball whizzes past his body and lands in arataki’s mitt behind him. there was no way xiao would’ve hit a pitch as aggressive as that when it could’ve been a groundball flying in hu tao’s direction.

“strike!”

xiao bites his cheek while waiting for the next pitch. he can’t get striked out— not when every hit and pitch counts. kunikuzushi now has a smirk on his face as he throws his next pitch— a fastball? xiao hits it and immediately sprints when he’s certain it won’t land into a fielder’s mitt.

xinyan is up to bat next, though it doesn’t stop kunikuzushi from looking behind him to glare at xiao even though xiao doesn’t have a leadoff huge enough for a steal.

xinyan hits kunikuzushi’s splitter in her first go, like the cleanup hitter she is, and it flies to center field. in a split second, the ball is flying over to him. with her cat-like reflexes, the shortstop gets a hold of the ball— xiao side steps her hand and slides beneath her arm to reach second base.

“in spite of shortstop kirara’s plans, captain xiao barely makes it onto second base! the match has barely begun but it’s already so intense!” the announcers’ boom amongst the clamor of the crowd. “it even gave jueyun jian’s hu tao enough time to reach home base!”

xiao breathes a sigh of relief and dusts himself off the ground. it’s annoying to have mud stuck onto his uniform and boots, but sliding on the ground did save him from the shortstop’s wrath.

now with hu tao scoring their first point within the first inning, narukami’s defense will no doubt tighten. he watches chongyun step up to the plate next, getting into position to prepare to run to third. it could be his chance to score something for the team and motivate them further when they’d inevitably switch— though he’s not sure how successful he’d be with kazuha as third baseman.

“strike!” it’s chongyun’s second strike and xiao bites his lip to quell his anxiety. kunikuzushi looks back at him again, still with the glare, before pitching to chongyun. the moment chongyun hits the splitter, xiao takes his chances and runs for it. there’s regret settling into him when he sees it turn into a groundball that heads towards him, about to run into kazuha or kirara’s mitts, though one look at kazuha has him realizing that— kazuha isn’t even looking at the ball.

he’s just watching xiao. xiao almost stumbles into him when he makes it onto the plate and kazuha has to hold him steady by the shoulders. the ball is gone— they’re face to face and xiao gulps as he stares up into kazuha’s eyes, his mouth drying up at the unexpected hold kazuha has on him. “i– uh, kazuha—, what are you doing?”

kazuha flinches back and releases him, his eyes wide. xiao doesn’t even want to try looking around, nor does he attempt to hear what the announcers are likely saying over the stadium’s noise. “uh, i—”

“kaedehara!” kunikuzushi yells from the mound, no doubt pissed. “do your fucking job!”

“sorry! i was…” kazuha looks at kunikuzushi, then back at xiao. a somber frown forms on his face while his hands fidget at his sides, and xiao can only watch with his mouth slightly open in disbelief. “... distracted.”

distracted?

“you’re kinda like a distraction to our captain?”

there’s a twinge in xiao’s heart that turns into an ache the longer the seconds pass by. kazuha smiles at him, strained at the corners; it doesn’t help to stamp out the lingering concern that xiao has as they go back into position.

xiao frowns at the ground while carefully observing ganyu on the plate. the word ‘distraction’ is blaring in his mind like an alarm but xiao can’t think about that right now, not when he’s so close to scoring another point. a glance to his side tells him that kazuha’s focus is on him again rather on home base, it’s even more visible when his eyes are still trained on xiao’s the moment  ganyu’s bat makes contact with the ball.

sprinting to home base, he hears arataki yell for the ball. the fielders are shouting behind him, a double play happening that manages to take both xinyan and chongyun out in just seconds.

his thighs are burning whilst he runs, he’s so close to the base— arataki is waving wildly at something behind him and it spurs xiao to just take the chance to jump onto the ground. midair, his left arm stretches out as far as it can go, xiao screws his eyes shut when his chest hits the ground with a resounding ache that spreads like fire.

the umpire stands over him, scrutinizing the sight below.

“safe!”

face now drenched with sweat, xiao stares up at the stands and cheers from the stadium, his chest rising up and down with heavy breaths. slowly, he turns back onto the field and catches kazuha’s eye, kazuha breathing just as heavily, his brows furrowed and frown just as strained.

he’s unsuspecting of the sudden guilt that creeps into his mind. xiao is a distraction to kazuha. he could’ve taken xiao out with the groundball, instead, they nearly crashed into each other when kazuha stood there mouth gaping open like a fish.

xiao would be lying to himself to call it a careless mistake. kazuha has always been a great observer, one step ahead in front of his opponents to catch them off guard before they could even blink. in all the matches xiao has watched kazuha play, he’s a slippery fox out on the field, he sinks his claws into any unsuspecting prey— the same kazuha turned into a deer in headlights when he saw xiao nearly stumble on his feet sprinting to third base.

how could kazuha even afford to make such a blunder when his recruiters are possibly watching? why would he possibly risk such a thing even happening? does he not care?

the shock doesn’t wear off when xiao reaches the dugout. his teammates are making a ruckus around him over the point he managed to snag, yet it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth to have done it in such a way. xiao excuses himself to go drink water and he sits in the bench at the back, staring at the ground with his water bottle clutched in his hand’s tight grip.

“did kaedehara purposely mess up there?” xingqiu slides into the empty space next to him, any sort of teasing tone gone.

xiao narrows his eyes, “… i don’t know. i can’t tell. i don’t think it was a mistake, but i don’t know why he’d do it either.”

“i feel underqualified to answer that,” xingqiu adds, “you know him better than i do to realize if something was bothering him.”

“if i need to be frank, xingqiu, i’m terrible at reading the emotions of people around me.”

xingqiu glosses right over that statement. “either way, his mistakes could benefit us. don’t beat yourself up over that.”

as much as xiao wants to scowl and yell ‘that’s easy for you to stay!’ to him, xingqiu isn’t wrong despite how callous his words are. but it still irritates him. xiao wants to win but not without kazuha messing up and making mistakes at his expense— he still wants kazuha to go pro.

“whatever dilemma you have stewing in your mind has to go, xiao.” xingqiu pokes xiao’s temple, earning him a near smack to the head with his water bottle. “hey! i’m just trying to cheer you up.”

“you’re right. i’m sorry.” xiao takes a deep breath and puts his water bottle to the side in favor of burying his head in his hands. “i just can’t believe how stupid he’s being.”

“we can deal with it after the match.” xingqiu nods his head in triumph, patting xiao’s back. “rest assured, my friend, i’ll personally knock some sense into him.”

xiao doesn’t even try to argue back. attempting a conversation in the middle of the match would be impossible. it’s too early to be disappointed or angry at him— he needs to know the full story. all xiao needs to do is get through this match without having the extreme urge to rack him by the shoulders and scold him over his recklessness in their very last nationals match.

one of their teammates is striked out and they switch teams. “they’re calling for you.”

“i’m heading out now, then. i’ll hold them off until it’s your turn to pitch, captain.” xingqiu exits with a flourish, leaving xiao alone to silently fester over his thoughts.

soon enough, coach xianyun sends him to the bullpen to warm up with yanfei. it’s enough to quell his need to go on the mound for now (and so he does not drown in his own doubts). he observes xingqiu’s pitching in between throws to keep track of the score, filing off different observations to strategize for later when he’s on the mound.

the subsequent innings don’t pass by in quick succession. xiao is well aware of how long innings can be, his longest has been a whopping thirty minutes, though restlessness nips at his body at each second ticking by.

while xiao goes for the offense on the mound on every batter he comes across, xingqiu’s play style has recently adopted a new defensive side. he forgoes direct assault on stronger foes to allow their unbreakable defenses to deal with them. he purposefully walks power hitters like kazuha and arataki, all the while picking them off without breaking a sweat when risk-taker players like shikanoin attempt to steal a base.

when narukami defends, though kazuha does not look as dazed, there’s a grim look on his face that worries xiao to an extent. the swift and agile kazuha he’s all too familiar with returns with time and their defense begins to toughen once more. on the jumbotron, kazuha tightens his jaw. his face is void of any other emotion other than the visible annoyance in his narrowed eyes. there’s a restlessness in his body that seems to spur kazuha on to make stronger throws on the field, covering large distances in such a short time that it takes xiao by surprise— beneath all of his worry, xiao is bewitched by the strength kazuha posessess.

as the morning sun begins to burn brighter, they are at the top of the fifth inning and jueyun has three points over narukami. narukami is up to bat now; coach xianyun turns to him and nods her head. “one has decided it is time for you to go up there. go and fly, xiao.”

there’s no tremble in his voice when he answers, “i’ll do my best.”

the nerves have been eating at him over the course of the match, however xiao absolutely cannot afford to lose now. they’re four innings away from winning if they don’t end up in a tie, it’s nothing xiao can’t handle.

there’s a rumble that starts within the crowd at the first few steps he walks into the diamond. an electrifying feeling buzzes at the tips of his fingers as he makes his way onto the mound, it crackles and sparks when he steps on his rightful place in the heart of the diamond. the chants and cheers flood the stadium, their colorful banners raised above high and proud; xiao never really cared about the recognition amongst regular viewers, however he doesn’t think he could ever let a feeling like this go.

xiao takes a deep breath and assesses the batter right in front of him. it’s the shortstop batting second to last, her olive hair swung over her shoulder as she readies down into the batting stance. behind her, chongyun signals for a changeup to start off easy.

following his lead, xiao begins his wind up and stretches back. he throws the ball in quick precision and the shortstop completely misses it by a hair.

“strike!”

a small grin spreads on his lips, adrenaline returning to him as all the ache disappears from his body. after striking out the shortstop, xiao is pretty confident that all the doubts he had have been effectively squashed down to nothing. he’s pitching with everything he has, all of his throws are controlled and precise— even the screwball that has been messing with his head earlier in the spring manages to strike out kunikuzushi— he’s flying high on the euphoria of getting one strike after another using the best pitches in his arsenal without fail. 

xiao doesn’t intend to crash and burn any time soon.

gaming begins to whoop and holler once he’s got three outs, running around the field and chanting cheers; the crowd absolutely loves the show. the announcers, of course, pipe up with their commentary on the display: “ace xiao is killing it out there on the field today! three consecutive strikeouts immediately after switching out with reserve pitcher xingqiu, he’s certainly bringing back the energy onto his team, just look at their shortstop!”

gaming pummels straight into him as they’re switching teams and xiao nearly jumps out of his skin. “cap! we’re so going to score some points for those three outs! leave some for us, will you?”

“gaming,” chongyun crosses his arms, sighing, “you’re going to make him fall if you do that again.”

“sorry, i just got so excited seeing cap back in action!” gaming laughs and scratches the back of his neck, letting xiao go. “it didn’t look like he was having fun a few days ago, but it’s back for sure.”

xiao bites his cheek. he noticed? did his entire team notice? “i was just going through something, don’t worry about it. i’ll do my best today.”

“you’re always doing your best, gege! we’ll earn those points and keep supporting you on the field.” ganyu chimes in, giving him two thumbs up. she squawks after xiao ruffles her hair out of fondness.

“okay, okay, come on guys! we’ve got a game to win!” xinyan pumps her fist and their team follows suit with encouraging cries.

the game continues without a hitch, and without fail, their team pulls ahead with more points courtesy of their clean up. xinyan very nearly gets a homerun from kunikuzushi’s four seamer, the ball flies and hits the fence that separates the field from the stands, and the crowd ramps up their shouts and yells as the runners sprint past basemen to get on base. xingqiu bows in the way xiao has seen him do in formal gatherings, curt and formal, once he crosses over home plate. it doesn’t fail to get the crowds screaming and xiao amusedly rolls his eyes at the over the top display.

his team are relishing in the steady, uphill pace xiao has set; it’s only fair for xiao to continue pitching at his best. he leaves little room for reprieve— once the baseball is back in his hand and the batter goes into the batting stance, chongyun’s call for a pitch is immediate and xiao’s body falls back on his instincts to throw the ball.

soon enough, an hour has passed and they’re in the second to last inning; that is, if jueyun manages to gain enough points to avoid a tie from happening. they’re in the lead by four points but it could easily turn to dust from a single grand slam, one xiao bars from happening in his very last highschool game.

it’s been relatively easy to strike out the batters in the end and start of narukami’s batting line up, xiao has played against them enough times in training camp to notice that their strengths and weaknesses haven’t changed enough to warrant the jueyun jian battery from pulling any big tricks. whichever player manages to worm their way out of striking out gets picked off quick enough by their fielders before they can reach home base. 

genuinely, xiao thinks it would be terrifying to play against a team known for their indestructible defense if he isn’t a part of it.

regardless, there are also players like arataki: the meathead makes soft contact in spite of xiao’s sinker and he deliberately darts to first base before anybody can really catch him. it could have been worse, xiao has seen him hit a ball to the stands a few games ago and he’s not going to stand for another repeat of what happened in the training camp.

xiao watches arataki with a careful eye, his leadoff isn’t a lot and xiao doubts he’ll even make it to third base without running into gaming’s swift plays. after quietly huffing at arataki for waving at him, xiao turns his head and feels his entire world come to a halt as kazuha steps up to the plate.

with every step he takes, xiao’s fingertips begin to freeze.

from the mound, xiao can’t exactly make out what expression kazuha holds on his face. is it worry? is it admiration for xiao’s performance, or is he still simmering with annoyance after constantly getting walked by xingqiu? all xiao can see is kazuha bent at the batting stance from the left, his head low and arm angled in preparation to bat the ball.

the world begins to fade as it does so whenever xiao finds kazuha’s attention on him. there’s a tense shift in the air, it’s so palpable that it drowns the stadium’s commotion and leaves only the both of them in their own world.

this is what they both waited for half a decade ago. it certainly won’t be the last time they’ll ever meet, though the brewing storm of dread and doubt has been a struggle to clear from his head until he was on the mound just an hour ago. the feeling hits him like a freight train, standing at the mound just sixty feet away from his greatest rival.

xiao doesn’t really know what to do.

would this be a defining moment in both of their futures?

there’s a break in xiao’s thoughts when he catches chongyun calling for a changeup. his mitt is placed in the middle, close to his chest in the strikeout zone. xiao takes a deep breath as he struggles to force his doubts out of his brain, xiao stretches his arms and readies his stance as sweat drips down the side of his face.

heart in his throat, xiao throws the pitch. 

the ball flies across the field.

kazuha swings just after the ball lands right behind him. “strike!”

panic surges in xiao’s heart— this has to be a fluke. the first time they played, xiao remembers kazuha missing the ball altogether. xiao rubs the sweat gathered in his hand on the fabric of his pants and releases a shaky exhale, his eyes never leaving kazuha’s form. his pulse has risen to an exceptional level, it pounds against his eardrums and xiao’s entire body is thrumming from both dread and adrenaline.

xiao can’t afford to mess up. 

but kazuha can’t just throw away his chances like this either.

the sinking feeling is near overwhelming as xiao winds up for his next pitch. this time, chongyun signals to him for a screwball.

xiao leans back and stretches his arm, his eyebrows furrowed. his leg steps out as he throws the ball, releasing it with his fingers to allow it to spin.

the force in kazuha’s swing is undeniable. it’s strong, like a huge gust of wind in the midst of a storm.

“strike two!”

he still missed.

“one more!” his teammates yell in the field, and in the dugout. the crowds are beginning to chant louder and there is a sudden, overwhelming feeling in xiao’s knees that threaten to make him collapse right there and then. a devastating ache in his chest tightens with every breath xiao exhales, it stabs into his heart as xiao stands on the mound and stares at kazuha’s tense figure with a frown.

is this really it?

‘i’ll get that homerun off of you— i promise.’

“you can’t break that promise now.” xiao shakily whispers into the air. “you can’t just end it like this.”

‘okay. i’ll hold you to it, wanye.’

even if kazuha got a homerun, their team could recover from it. but what about kazuha’s recruitment? he’s a jack of all trades in his own right, a paragon of strength and precision that’s been unparallelled— perhaps xiao is overthinking it but kazuha has been making countless mistakes and hasn’t even batted a single ball in this match. professional leagues are meticulous in recruiting highschool students before they even graduate— kazuha could possibly lose this offer and xiao doesn’t want to be the reason for that.

“even if it led me straight to my failure, i’d still be thinking of you.” 

just how stupid are you, kazuha?

and maybe, the adoration xiao has for kazuha makes him foolish.

and maybe, it’s why xiao’s grip on the ball subconsciously loosens more than it should have in his next pitch.

“ball!”

the ball flies out of the strike zone.

xiao gulps to get rid of the lump in his throat. he stares down at his trembling hands, his mouth slightly open.

“don’t mind!” chongyun yells as he throws the ball back to xiao. xiao catches it and prepares his next stance. his teammates shout reassurances, which fall on deaf ears when all xiao can think of is the boy standing at home plate.

kazuha’s face is still too far away, but his posture is visibly tense and xiao bites the inside of his cheek to silence his head. with the heavy weights on his arms and legs, xiao pulls his body back and starts his wind up.

kazuha might lose the recruitment.

xiao lifts his hands above his head, moving his fingers to grip the ball in the form of a sinker.

kazuha might quietly resent him, especially after xiao encouraged him to take the offer.

with a shaky breath, xiao steps out and aims low, letting the ball fly from his fingers.

“ball two!”

kazuha doesn’t attempt to swing at the ball this time either. xiao can only watch in shock, his eyes widening at the result. the trembling in his hands hasn’t ceased and his hair sticks to his skin from sweat, he can’t bear to look back at his teammates' probable disappointed faces at how much of a wreck their captain is being in his very last match.

“come on, xiao! one more!”

but xiao can’t.

the fear grips onto him in his next pitch and the result is still the same. it flies outside the strike zone.

kazuha hasn’t moved a single inch. 

they’re standing in a hurricane and all kazuha does is watch as xiao succumbs to the turbulent winds pulling at his sleeves and limbs.

kazuha’s possible resentment overrides his rational thoughts, it trashes through xiao’s head and throws everything xiao has ever worked for out of the window. 

chongyun signals to the umpire, calling for a short mound meeting. they barely ever do these meetings, xiao barely makes mistakes critical enough to warrant them. chongyun runs to xiao’s side and clutches his shoulders, his eyes searching xiao’s as xiao stares down at his still shaking hands. “xiao. it’s the final stretch. strike or ball, you can do this.”

xiao blinks up at chongyun. the sweat blurs his vision, and through heavy breaths xiao nods.

“just don’t think about the outcome, alright? we’ll handle it.” chongyun whispers, pushing his fist against xiao’s. xiao mumbles a “right”, which is enough to assure chongyun to run back to home plate.

xiao presses his lips into a thin line and sees kazuha look at chongyun for a fraction of a second.

the match isn’t over yet.

xiao could still recover and strike out kazuha.

xiao takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. there’s nothing in the world, except for him and kazuha. there’s so much ahead of them, xiao’s birthday, lantern rite, and pro league. it won’t end right here.

xiao brushes the sweat on his forehead away with his sleeve, and he looks back up with narrowed eyes and a firm gaze. chongyun positions his mitt to the inside, calling for xiao’s signature two seamer. through the anxiety and dread, xiao huffs a laugh at how they’ve come full circle, from that midsummer afternoon playing as a reserve pitcher against an unknown visitor from a nation far away.

the ache in his heart is unbearable, however, this has to end one way or another. xiao could almost cost his team a crucial out, at the cost of his conflicting problems and feelings over some guy.

‘kazuha is not some guy, and you know that.’ his mind supplies as his fingers fumble to find the two seams of the baseball, nearly breaking his concentration on this next pitch. xiao grits his teeth at the thought and goes into position, holding his stance for a moment before launching the pitch with a strong throw.

the ball flies all sixty feet across the field to kazuha in less than two seconds.

xiao watches the ball fall into chongyun’s mitt.

“ball four!”

xiao watches their promise disintegrate into nothing.

the sequences that followed are a muddled blur in xiao’s head.

while the announcers are blathering on over xiao’s stupid blunder, kazuha stands at home plate for a good moment, just staring at xiao. xiao feels like his heart has stopped and he’s standing at the mound like a ghost, unable to do anything but just stare back.

then, kazuha turns and looks down at the ground. his figure is slightly slumped over when he walks to first base.

in an attempt to help him get back on his feet, chongyun calls for a changeup when shikanoin is up to bat next. the ball xiao throws nearly becomes a homerun with how far it flies— it’s barely saved by ganyu and gaming as they execute a double play that gets both arataki and kazuha out.

even with the three outs, xiao knows that their momentum has been broken.

in the next inning, coach xianyun calls for a switch of players. when xingqiu passes by him, a grim frown pressed thinly on his lips. he gives xiao a firm pat on his shoulder, nodding to him. xiao can only screw his eyes shut and nod in response.

at the dugout, xiao sits at the very back and slumps in his seat. coach xianyun had reassured him that mistakes like these happen, but xiao can’t bring himself to accept it. he’s always been at the top of his game, there never has been anything to stop him from throwing continuous balls at the mound and walking a player on accident.

shaking, he holds his left hand and stares at it.

just like that and he screwed it all up.

xiao threw all rational thought away for a boy who won’t remember him by the time he goes pro. he’ll be reduced into a tiny little blip in kazuha’s acclaimed career, just an echo of a person who used to be there.

he’s not sure how long he stares at his hand before the game comes to an end.

“congratulations to inazuma’s representative, narukami highschool, on winning this year’s teyvat spring highschool national baseball league!”

xiao scrubs at his face and makes himself look presentable. coach xianyun puts a hand on his shoulder and xiao blinks away the water glazing his eyes. “it’s okay, xiao. one knows you did your best.”

xiao sniffles into the back of his palm. “thank you.”

coach xianyun solemnly smiles, her hand moving to give one last pat to his head. “now, go join your teammates. you need to congratulate the winning team. we can talk about this after it’s over.”

it’s almost shameful to be walking out on the field after he’s pulled such a thing. his teammates' faces are both reassuring and sad, but there are tears in their eyes and xiao can’t bear to look at them for longer than a second.

it’s all his fault.

they stand in front of narukami in a single line. kazuha stands in front of him and xiao can finally see his face properly. his face is contorted in a pained expression when their eyes meet, his lips twisted in a trembling frown.

xiao bites his lips to stop the sob that threatens to tear free from his throat. he can’t. not right now.

“what an intense game! it was definitely one of the best i’ve seen in all my years as an announcer in teyvat’s seasonal games, those last few innings had me on the edge of my seat!” one of the announcer's voice blares out from the speakers as the last few team members line up on the field.

“thank you for the game!” both teams yell out, before bowing. he hears sniffling from his teammates and it’s hard for xiao to hold back his own tears. 

the guilt is all-consuming. how could he face his teammates, who had looked to him to lead them into victory? so much for motivation— his words were rendered null after the stunt he pulled on the mound, he acted like a blubbering fool and now they’ve lost.

“captain xiao. good game.” xiao slowly raises his head to see kazuha holding a hand towards him, a sad smile on his face. “what a game, huh?”

at least now, kazuha’s recruitment is still safe.

“yeah. good game.” xiao murmurs, taking his hand. his grip is strong and firm, and xiao melts a bit at the feeling. even after everything, it’s still a safe feeling he holds onto—

“ah, the two captains have always been friendly, haven’t they? we’ve seen them at each other’s matches and they’ve made mention of each other in the postgame interviews!” the speakers boom, airing out all their laundry to the field. “both kaedehara and xiao are strong players in their own right, it’s no wonder they’re close!”

“i agree, though speaking of which, it's a shame that kaedehara keeps rejecting offers to go pro! the reporters have been talking about it all afternoon and—”

in one fell swoop, xiao’s stomach free falls and crashes straight through the ground.

in front of him, kazuha’s face quickly drops. his eyes are wide and xiao feels like he’s about to throw up. “xiao—”

“now, let’s get the winning team to take pictures with the trophy!” finger by finger, xiao slowly pulls his hand away from kazuha’s grasp. at every step he takes back, the ache in his chest worsens into an ugly hurt that threatens to consume his heart. he looks down at the dirt, unable to bring himself to look back up at kazuha and his pained face. with one last harsh breath, xiao turns and begins walking briskly out of the field with his teammates as narukami gets herded away for pictures.

in the locker room, there are tears threatening to spill over xiao’s cheeks. maintaining his put together composure, xiao holds on as best as he can, haphazardly shoving everything in his backpack with little care before storming out of the room before any of his teammates can pull him back in for the post-match interviews. he hears his little sister yell for him, but xiao’s distraught state spurs him to leave everything behind to find peace and quiet.

pushing past spectators and reporters, xiao runs out to the entrance of the stadium. there are scoffs and surprised gasps here and there, all before he comes to a stop when he’s finally alone.

a shaky sigh leaves him.

kazuha isn’t going pro.

“i think i’ll accept their offer after nationals.”

so at new years… was that all a lie?

kazuha lied to him?

the realization makes xiao’s body crumple slightly. a sob that rips itself out from his throat.

they were two innings away from winning and xiao absolutely destroyed those chances when he walked kazuha and got replaced.

xiao, the ace, replaced just after three innings.

what a fucking joke.

“xiao!” the voice tears straight through the silent air and xiao’s veins run ice freezing cold. he stays in his place, still slightly bent over. the person’s footsteps grow louder and they stop at his side. “xiao, i can explain, please.”

“not right now, kazuha.” xiao mutters, eyes cast down at the concrete ground. the world truly must be playing some cruel joke. instead of going for the post interview matches, kazuha came running straight to him. he’s throwing everything in favor of xiao— again.

kazuha tries once more. “look, i didn’t know the reporters were going to blabber about it, but please trust me when i say that i was going to tell you—”

if it was any other time, xiao might have felt bad for him. the desperation in his voice is evident, xiao trusts that he’s telling the truth. though now, xiao only clenches his fists at his sides and stares down at the concrete to avoid blinking out the tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. “why did you reject them?”

“i told you, i didn’t feel right accepting it!” xiao looks up to see kazuha frowning, desperately shaking his head in protest. “they’re only doing it to kiss kuni’s mom’s ass and get her attention! i’ve said it before, i wanted to wait for you before going pro!”

“you’re so stupid! you don’t have to care about me! why do you keep caring so much about how it’s going to affect me?” xiao cries out. a few tears slip out from his eyes and xiao can no longer stop the sob that wracks through his body. kazuha immediately holds his hands out to comfort him and xiao flinches back at the action. “don’t—! don’t touch me.”

kazuha immediately stops, hands midair at his sides as he stares down at xiao with a shocked, pained look. it just further stabs xiao’s heart. “i’m sorry. i’ve told you time and time again that i only care about you, even if it meant i’d fail.” kazuha argues, hands clenching around the empty air. “i swear, i was going to tell you. i didn’t tell you before because i didn’t want you to lose on purpose.”

“lose on purpose? is that why you were distracted today?” xiao scoffs, sending him a challenging look. “you were conflicted on whether or not you should have me believe in your stupid little charade and win?”

“stop putting words in my mouth!” kazuha shoots back. his eyes are furious and xiao falters for a moment. kazuha’s eyes instantly soften at xiao’s shock, and he shakes his head. “please listen, i was distracted because i was worried about you. you weren’t the starting pitcher and i assumed something went wrong. even then, the look you had when you were pitching—”

“it doesn’t even matter! i was scared that i was going to be the reason you weren’t going pro, only to find out you rejected them anyway!” xiao wants to tear his hair out at kazuha’s stubborn insistence. it’s bad enough for xiao to resort to airing his grievances in a public setting, however it’s even worse that he’s so close to uncontrollably sobbing in front of the person he admires the most. his composure has completely shattered. “you lied to me, and i fucked up my team’s chances of winning nationals.”

“you have to understand why i did what i did,” kazuha’s eyes are glassy and he approaches xiao slowly, as if he is approaching a frightened animal. “i seriously care for you, xiao, just listen—!”

stupid kazuha throwing away his whole entire future just for xiao. it’s a burden xiao can’t bear to handle, not when so many people are looking up to kazuha as their generation’s best and brightest player. kazuha can’t ruin his chances at a future, one that xiao dreams of having, all for him. how could anyone be so selfish?

“if you cared, you would’ve told me the truth from the beginning.” xiao seethes through his teeth as he takes a step back. his tears are molten hot when they slide down his cheeks and xiao frantically scrubs at his eyes as he glares up at kazuha. “save it. i need to think about all of this on my own.”

kazuha’s eyes blow wide and he nearly doubles over as he clutches at the air at xiao’s sides. “you don’t understand! i’m willing to wait to go pro because i lo—”

“stop, kazuha!” xiao yells into his hands. 

truth be told, xiao doesn’t know how he could ever recover from this. when kazuha didn’t tell him of his identity as wanye, xiao brushed it off knowing it could’ve been awkward on kazuha’s side. but they were friends. they talked to each other nearly every day, even with the miles of oceans in between them, and yet kazuha still had the nerve to lie straight to his face. 

xiao dug his own grave the moment he felt any worry or concern over kazuha’ own future. he should’ve been focusing on himself, yet because of what— his crush on this idiot?— he’s now lying in the grave he made. 

like the utter fool he is.

xiao swallows a gulp of air past the lump in his throat and blinks several tears away. he hates the way his heart breaks into a million pieces, at how it takes everything in him to muster out a whisper of the words he never would’ve dreamt of saying: “don’t talk to me. i think… i think we’re done.”

kazuha’s responding silence is deafening.

if xiao looks up now, at kazuha’s pleading face on the brink of tears, he’s terrified he’ll take his words back. he’ll brush off everything that’s happened, and they’ll be happy again.

at the cost of risking all this happening once more?

xiao stares into his hands, hiccuping quiet sobs that rack through his body.

he feels a warm presence in front of him and more tears leak out of xiao’s eyes. his chest tightens to the point it feels like he’s going into cardiac arrest. “xiao, look at me. please.”

the ache is unbearable. if xiao buries himself in kazuha’s warmth, would everything disappear like it never happened? he blinks up and kazuha’s face is close. shakily, kazuha holds a hand up to xiao’s cheek, just hovering above it to stop their skin from touching. there’s a sense of vulnerability brimming in kazuha’s eyes that urges xiao to simply press his cheek to kazuha’s palm.

with a deep breath, xiao gently rests his cheek on kazuha’s hand. kazuha wipes away a fresh wave of tears, and—

“kaedehara-kun! your play earlier today was amazing, how did you do it?” it seems their yelling has grabbed the attention of some onlookers, judging by the reporter that shoves past xiao and thrusts their mic close to kazuha’s face.

whatever trance xiao is in shatters into nothing. a violent wave of hurt crashes over him as he takes a step back to avoid the reporter’s insistent shoves.

kazuha pushes the microphone away, with a stern frown. “my apologies, i’m in the middle of something—”

another reporter comes scampering and xiao is pushed to the back. “kaedehara-kun, what do you think about winning against jueyun jian—”

“not right now!” kazuha shouts at the reporter, frantically trying to push past the grabbing hands to reach xiao. “you’re pushing my friend—”

“kaedehara-kun, are you sure you won’t be going pro?!” a new one yells as a stream of reporters burst out of nowhere and continue to swarm kazuha. behind them all, with the rivulets of tears running down his face, xiao huffs a laugh of disbelief. 

he leaves, but not before sending one last glare to the narukami captain.

the last sight he ever sees of kazuha is his infuriatingly heartbroken face as xiao storms away.

xiao sprints out of there, the damned sobs tearing themselves free out of his mouth until he finds his friends standing outside of their team bus. standing by the bus door, chongyun’s face goes from relieved to concerned in a matter of seconds when he spots xiao approaching the bus. he holds out his arms and xiao immediately collapses onto him with a muffled sob.

“i’m s–sorry, i didn’t want us to lose—!” xiao chokes out in the middle of his crying. the dam has completely broken now and his emotions rush out past an unstoppable floodgate. “i’m so sorry!”

his friends bring him inside the bus, sitting him at the very back. xingqiu brushes his hair back and chongyun holds him close, while gaming searches through his bag muttering about finding an emergency thermos of tea he stored somewhere.

“we didn’t lose because of you, xiao.” xingqiu murmurs, brushing xiao’s bangs out of his eyes. “mistakes are bound to happen.”

“cap, we could all see you were trying your best!” the smell of tea wafts through the bus as xiao’s sobbing dies down. gaming shuffles to the back with a travel sized thermos in hand and nudges it towards xiao’s hands. “here, you’ll feel better straight away!”

xiao accepts the drink and drinks a mouthful, relishing in the warmth the tea brings. tears prickle at his eyes at his friends’ care and love despite everything he did. xiao knew how important this match was, and yet…

the sobs return at full force as he clutches the thermos. all three of his friends' mouths drop open in shock at the sudden crying and they scramble to cheer him up.

“you were pitching excellently after i was switched out! chongyun and you make up the best battery in liyue, you must know that.” xingqiu insists, lightly brushing xiao’s hair.

“that’s right, you guys are the best! and besides, even after you walked captain kaedehara, we still picked him off before he could get very far.” the mere mention of kazuha must’ve sent off a signal in xiao’s brain, because it directly causes xiao’s sobs to grow more frantic.

“you idiot!” there’s the sound of a smack somewhere on xiao’s side.

“ow! you didn’t have to punch my arm!” gaming yelps in pain.

“you didn’t have to mention him!”

“i didn’t know he was even related to all of this!”

gaming and xingqiu get into another squabble. 

on his other side, chongyun is still comfortably rubbing xiao’s back. “xiao. do you want to talk about it?”

“it’s stupid.” xiao bites his lip to stifle a sob. his throat is scratchy from crying.

“is this about winning? is it about going pro? or is this about kaedehara?”

“... i don’t know. i don’t think i want to talk about it just yet.”

“that’s fine.” chongyun hums. “we’ll be here when you’re ready.”

wordlessly, xiao nods back. it would only be a matter of time until they found out, anyway.

in the midst of gaming and xingqiu’s argument, the rest of their team enter the bus. they’re all joking around, clearly in better spirits, and talking about their plans for the lantern rite holiday. ganyu spots him, worry etched into her furrowed eyebrows, and xiao mouths ‘later’ to her before she could come scurrying to the back.

the whole way back to school, xiao remains silent, staring out at the fields. he thinks of a hundred speeches he could possibly say in their return, of what his teammates would expect a captain like him to say before he passes on the batton to the next captain; of what his teammates would want to hear after such a devastating loss.

when they’re back on their familiar baseball field, coach xianyun calls for a team meeting. out of nowhere, all of his teammates begin clapping and cheering, urging him to stand in the front with the rest of the third years.

he has to blink back more tears when coach xianyun calls him the best captain and ace jueyun jian highschool has ever had.

“that match wasn’t your fault, captain! we just had bad luck!”

“we’ll get them in our third year, we swear!”

“that kunikuzushi won’t see us coming!”

more reassurances are yelled and xiao feels like crying his eyes out again. the speech he had in his brain has completely disappeared, rendering him a sputtering mess as he speaks his last words as captain. “thank you all for playing brilliantly in these last three years. i’m— i’m s-sorry i wasn’t able to bring victory to us in this year’s nationals, but i trust that you’ll be able to make it once more.”

“to consistently bring your team to nationals is a feat in itself, young one.” coach xianyun tuts, pushing her glasses back. “jueyun jian is now recognized as a strong baseball team in the eyes of teyvat’s baseball league.”

“that’s right! and we’ll keep going to nationals!” one of the first years yells, “i hope you’ll keep watching us, captain! we’re proud of you!”

xiao has to choke back a sob as he gives a firm nod of his head. “i will. thank you, everybody.”

“let’s give it up for the captain!” gaming shouts, before crashing into xiao to give him a bone crushing hug. all his teammates begin to crowd them in one big hug and xiao struggles to breathe. however tight the hug is, xiao has to admit it’s a nice feeling that finally makes him laugh.

after the terrible disaster that was the spring final match, his father gave him the whole ‘you did the best that you could’ speech every other parent would say. his argument with kazuha and his worries about pro go unsaid, but xiao is certain that zhongli knew he was hiding it.

not that anybody else knows about it.

xiao would rather die than speak of their fight and how humiliating it was to cry in front of his now ex-crush in public.

his life can’t get any more miserable than spending the lantern rite rotting at home.

they have a week off from school for celebrations to visit relatives and enjoy the festival held in their city. as the oldest in his family, zhongli receives visitors rather than bringing their family to different houses. this year, zhongli decides to stay at home instead of traveling to a different part of liyue, which means xiao has to endure several pointless conversations with relatives that may or may not pertain to his studies, career goals and the most dreadful of them all— his love life.

barricading himself inside his room isn’t really an option when he knows ganyu will only kick down the door to promptly drag him out. and so, his next best option is this: he’ll visit the harbor with the largest festival in the city with ganyu and return once he’s certain his relatives have left.

zhongli doesn’t seem to oppose the idea, stating it has been awhile since xiao and ganyu had visited the harbor’s festivities since they were children. he allows them to leave, only after they’ve greeted all their family members. 

and so, xiao spends his lantern rite morning greeting relatives he’s only seen on occasions; they talk about his feats in baseball and nationals— xiao clams up and allows ganyu to do all the talking, they’re in the same team after all. nonetheless, one or two of them might comment on his height or how little he’s been eating, which xiao argues, is not true at all. he has an average height for a boy his age and he eats well, he’s an athlete!

another asks about a girlfriend and xiao struggles to keep his disgusted face down to the point it ends up looking like a strained smile as he shakes his head. his father then comes to his rescue and brings the relative to a different side of the room, where plenty of snacks lay, sending him a comforting smile.

not long after, xiao and ganyu receive the okay to leave the house. it’s a freeing feeling to finally escape the jaws of family gossip, ganyu makes a show of stretching her arms and xiao rolls his eyes in amusement.

it’s a quick trip to the city’s harbor, the festival in full swing once they arrive. the lantern rite festival is one of xiao’s favorites festivals for a good reason; he’s entranced by the extravagant display of vivid colors and streamers, a lantern hung in every building’s corner and in the harbor’s waters. ganyu buys snacks and xiao keeps to himself, marveling at the wondrous decor and the chosen mingxiao lantern this year floating in the water; a pair of jade colored fish surrounding a golden flower.

two small mingxiao lantern purchases later, they’re at one of the highest points of the harbor in a hill that awards them with a view of the entire docks below. xiao’s heart constricts at the memory of just a couple months ago in a spot similar to this, of gentle smiles and exchanging presents beneath the fireworks. he shakes the feeling away and holds his mingxiao lantern, silently observing the clamor and festivities below.

“you’re not very expressive, but even i can tell that you look like you’re having a terrible time during your favorite festival.” ganyu muses aloud into the quiet night air.

“this year’s festival isn’t terrible.” xiao mumbles, taking in a deep breath to soothe the fresh wave of hurt that washes over him. he just expected to spend it differently for once. “i’ve got a lot on my mind, mei.”

ganyu looks at him expectantly. “is kaedehara gege still coming?”

xiao mentally slaps himself for even getting ganyu’s hopes up in the first place. before nationals, he told her of their plans in the spur of the moment, and she excitedly begun to plan all the sights they could show kazuha. looking down at his sister now, xiao doesn’t know if he could bring himself to tell her what transpired at the stadium a week ago.

xiao swallows a shaky breath, “...i don’t think so. i don’t think we’ll be seeing him ever again.”

“what? why?” ganyu’s shock is imminent as she clutches onto her lantern with a tight grip. “did he do something?”

“gege made it complicated. i’m sorry.” the lump in xiao’s throat returns, stinging his throat as he talks. “let’s not talk about it right now.”

“but—!”

“meimei,” xiao says, as firm as he can manage without scaring his sister, “not now.”

ganyu lets out a huff and remains silent. eventually, the time to release the lanterns come. while the origins of lantern rite lie in commemoration for liyue’s fallen heroes, xiao can’t help but make a small wish to go with his mingxiao lantern. as they let go of the lanterns, allowing them to float into the air, xiao shuts his eyes tight and brings his hands together in a silent prayer.

the fireworks spark across the sky and memories of his time together with kazuha flash one after the other in his mind.

‘i wish… that kazuha forgets about me. and i hope i’ll forget about him.’ a sudden chill passes through him and xiao’s knees wobble, the ache in his chest is overwhelming but this… this would be for the best, wouldn’t it?

kazuha wouldn’t be a bother in his life anymore and xiao will stop ruining kazuha’s future.

tears sting at the corners of xiao’s trembling eyes. he presses his lips together, lest he chokes a sob out to further worry his little sister.

xiao returns home with his heart shattered in a million little pieces. ganyu didn’t try talking to him again on the way back, opting to remain silent at xiao’s side. she gives him one last look before he disappears inside his room.

a chime on his phone sounds off when he flops onto his bed in his freshly changed clothes. ice floods his veins the moment he reads the message and its sender.

‘i hope your lantern rite has gone well. i wish that i could’ve seen it with you. i’m sorry.’, writes kazuha. the typing bubble stutters, and it eventually stops as xiao blankly stares at his phone. his phone buzzes one last time: ‘i miss you.’

in xiao’s mind, there’s a ghost of kazuha sitting across from him, tender eyes and all, brushing away his bangs. he whispers the same words in his text, in the gentle tone that never fails to coax xiao’s fears and doubts away.

another dam inside xiao breaks. he’s unable to stop the tears that endlessly stream out of his eyes, and he makes pathetic little hiccuping sobs that only make him want to claw his throat out. he cries into his pillow well into the night until he eventually passes out with a splotchy face and snotty nose.

if his family notices his bleary red eyes or the dark circles under them in the morning after, they say nothing.

just to add onto xiao’s pain, even after their second place ranking, his miserable life isn’t enough to completely escape the clutches of exams. of course, xiao has prepared for the entrance exams as always, though that doesn’t mean he’s not stuck tutoring chongyun and gaming with xingqiu right after school.

the worried glances they throw around in moments they don’t think xiao is watching are expected— all three of them watched xiao break down in tears, only chongyun has ever seen him bawl his eyes out like that once.

acting indifferent is an easy mask to don. xiao shrugs and gives curt nods, he speaks firmly while demonstrating an example they need help with and smiles when needed. his stomach twists itself into knots when the topic of baseball arises, his words are rendered stiff and strained when he has to respond— though it must be enough if his friends say nothing over it.

and in the evening, xiao comes home and locks himself in his room before ganyu or their father can get to him. using entrance exams is a flimsy excuse that won’t hold up once they’re over, yet xiao doesn’t feel like explaining his problems just yet. it can certainly wait until his exams are over. 

in the blink of an eye, entrance exams arrive and xiao spends every waking moment focusing on his studies. without fail, xiao reads his books and practices worksheet after worksheet to blank out every miserable thought his brain manages to conjure up. despite his tired eyes and pounding head, he makes sure that his writing is intelligible and answers everything to the best of his abilities. it may be pointless to give it his all when he might not even enroll in any of the universities he’s writing all these exams for— but xiao needs something to distract himself with in these depressing times.

the very moment exams end, instead of partying out to his heart's content like some of his classmates, xiao goes straight home and proceeds to unceremoniously pass out for an indiscernible amount of time. 

time that must have been concerning enough for him to blink awake on the living room couch, the bright lights shining down at him instead of his room. at his side, his father startles awake. “oh, xiao, thank heavens. you’re finally awake.”

“what do you mean by ‘finally’?” xiao croaks out. his voice is scratchy and he feels like he’s about to die from thirst. his father helps him sit up on the couch and hands him a tall glass of water.

“you were asleep for three days.” zhongli murmurs, gently patting around xiao’s forehead with the back of his palm. 

xiao swallows a mouthful of water. “oh.”

there’s a shriek somewhere, then the sound of stomping feet before it stops in front of the doorway into the living room. ganyu is holding a baseball bat in her hand, her face furious. “gege.”

zhongli shakes his head. “meimei, call up dr. baizhu before you kill gege, please.”

“okay, papa.” ganyu sets her bat down and leaves the room to do her task. meanwhile, xiao twists his fingers and frowns down at the comforter.

“xiao,” zhongli starts, patting at one of the stubborn hairs sticking out of xiao’s head, “i did not want to fret over you much like a mother hen would, but it’s been frustratingly difficult lately.”

xiao’s lips wobble. “i’m sorry for worrying you, papa.”

“i know you’re a growing teenager who’d prefer to keep some things to himself…” zhongli quietly chuckles when xiao makes a face, “but at the end of the day, i hope you know you can talk to me or meimei about anything, alright?”

xiao gulps another mouthful of water as he nods. zhongli ruffles his head, smiling, and turns to leave until xiao grabs at his sleeve. he feels like he’s ten again, like a petulant child, begging for his father to wait for him after baseball club practice. his cheeks are hot as he tugs at zhongli’s sleeve again. “papa. don’t leave me, please.”

“okay, xiao. let’s wait for meimei, shall we?” zhongli hums. he runs his fingers through xiao’s hair and he leans into the touch, sighing in content.

ganyu comes back moments later and shuffles on the couch to tuck herself under zhongli’s free arm. “papa, dr. baizhu said that if gege doesn’t have a fever, all he needs is rest and food.”

“thank you, meimei.” zhongli presses a kiss into her hair and she beams. when she turns to face xiao, she puffs her cheek then sticks her tongue out. even though xiao barely has any strength, he musters up enough energy just to pinch her cheek.

“ow! papa, did you see that? gege started it first!” ganyu says with a whine, aiming a kick at xiao’s leg. “i didn’t kill him and he’s still trying to provoke me!”

“now, now, children.” zhongli laughs, shaking his head. 

ganyu huffs. “we’re not little kids anymore.”

“i know, but this brings me back to when you were both still kids…” their father pets ganyu’s hair to calm her down, start to tell them a story back from their childhood. if xiao has anything to brag about his father, it’s that he’s an incredible storyteller, one who paints vivid pictures with his words.

in a matter of minutes, ganyu has quieted down, dozing off once zhongli ends his story. 

looking at his family, xiao swallows the growing lump in his throat. “papa, can i ask you something?”

“yes?” his father replies, gazing upon him with a warm smile. the telltale tears are already pricking at the corners of xiao’s eyes, a feeling xiao has been too pathetically familiar with in the last few weeks.

“if… if i don’t go pro right after i graduate highschool, does that mean i’m a terrible player?” xiao’s voice wavers right at the end of his sentence, his insecurity begins to take over him in full force. his heart aches with a hurt so tremendous he clutches his shirt in a tight fist to soothe the dull pain. “d-don’t mince your words. just tell me what you honestly think.”

“oh, xiao, the future will always be uncertain. if you don’t go pro, it does not mean you’ve been playing terribly.” zhongli uses his thumb to gently wipe at the tears slipping down his cheek. “would a terrible player have the ability to beat every liyuean highschool in the region, and bring their team to nationals?”

“it might have been a f-fluke.” xiao hiccups, wiping his cheek with the back of his hand.

“if that were true, don’t you think you might have been replaced by now? you’ve been the ace for two years.”

xiao chews at his lip, pondering over his father’s words.

“let’s put it this way,” his father says, reaching over to find a tissue box on the coffee table. “do you have fun playing baseball?”

“i guess i do, somewhat.” xiao mutters, fiddling with his fingers. his mood had been improving after chongyun forced him to stop overworking himself, but when nationals came along and the doubts began to creep in, it had been difficult finding any fun.

“then, if you didn’t have fun anymore, would you stop? would you stop pursuing your dreams of joining a professional team?” 

“it would be pointless chasing after a dream i have no interest in.”

“exactly. then, what is it that you’re playing baseball for?” zhongli asks; the question directly strikes down to the center of xiao’s entire being. “is it because it’s fun, or is it because you think it’s the only way you can show your worth as a person?”

whatever retort xiao has in his mouth falters as his father’s words sink in. zhongli read him so well, even when xiao did not even say a peep about his internal struggle. 

xiao has always strived for being the best at what he does… because it’s all he has. what would he be without baseball, or his team? the prospect of trying anything else after years of putting his whole heart into the sport is terrifying. there never had been anything of interest that urged xiao to go off track from the path to his dreams. there has never been a doubt that xiao wanted to play professionally, but after seeing kazuha receive recruitment offers, the insecurities hidden away in the depths of xiao’s mind hit him at full force.

“if your younger self saw you now, do you think he’d be proud of all your achievements?”

back then, all xiao wanted was to go pro and become the ace of a professional league team. admittedly, he didn’t know about all the extra steps in between; how one has to be the cream of the crop within their nation for a chance to even go to nationals and be recognized.

if xiao went to a powerhouse school, perhaps he would’ve been able to go for nationals in his first year. in the end, he stuck with jueyun jian and watched his seniors lose all hope in regionals. it had been an arduous journey to get where they were now— xiao didn’t care about jueyun jian’s failure to reach regionals. his favorite player was an alumnus, but xiao’s generation had been the one to bring them to nationals first. alongside his first year classmates, they brought jueyun jian from the ground up to where they shone the brightest as teyvat’s baseball highschool champions.

playing in a large stadium like nantianmen’s had already been a dream in itself— in his highschool life, xiao got to travel around teyvat, pitched against formidable players from across the seven nations and played in stadiums just as grand.

everything the younger xiao did over the years, from spending hours at the baseball club and practicing his pitches in the small bullpen in his middle school’s field; everything helped xiao get to where he stands today.

“i think…” xiao whispers, the tears swimming in his vision blurring as he struggles to pull the words out of the mouth, “um, i think. i think he’d be p-proud of me.”

he takes the tissue from zhongli and fails to wipe his face dry as fat tears continue to roll down his cheeks. zhongli huffs a quiet laugh and holds him closer, careful not to jostle ganyu. “if you do not join the professional league after graduation, i do not believe it is the final testament of your current abilities, xiao. still, in the eyes of your family, you will forever be an incredible player to us— as long as you’re happy with playing baseball, nothing else matters.”

‘if it makes you happy, then i’m happy.’

tremors wrack through xiao’s body as he brokenly sobs into the tissue. he thinks of the spark of hope extinguished in kazuha’s eyes when xiao left him at the stadium, of how much xiao couldn’t bear to turn back because he knew he’d run straight back to kazuha and everything he ever promised. with how much it hurts right now, was it ever worth it? zhongli gently rocks xiao back and forth in his arms, murmuring soft reassurances as xiao works through his sobs.

he feels another hand on him, and xiao blinks another wave of tears away to find ganyu groggily patting his arm. “gege, don’t cry…”

ganyu’s words turn him into more of a blubbering mess. ganyu frowns with bleary eyes as she looks between xiao and their father, her lips wobbling as if she’s holding back from crying herself. all zhongli does is simply ruffle both of their heads with a laugh. “don’t worry, meimei. gege is fine.”

xiao sniffles and really thinks on his father’s words. even if he does not get recruited for a professional team… perhaps it really isn’t over just yet. as much as xiao’s dignity would hate it, if he didn’t immediately go pro, maybe the world wouldn’t end just yet.

and no matter what happened… he still had his family.

“papa, meimei, i think…” xiao says with a tremble, before he shakes his head. he makes sure he’s resolute in his words, so that even the doubtful part of himself will listen to his  determination. “if i don’t go pro just yet, i'll be okay. i’ll work hard so that one day i’ll be able to go, too. i’ll get you the best seats… like i said i would.”

“i’m sure with whatever choice you make, you will succeed.” zhongli gently kisses his head, pulling back to smile at him.

“papa and i believe in you, gege!” ganyu loudly announces, holding onto xiao’s arm from across their father’s stomach. “i’ll be there with you, i promise!”

“meimei…” xiao is about to tear up all over again. since the very beginning, his little sister has been nothing but supportive on and off the field— he’s not sure how he got so lucky to have her in his life. “thank you for being the best little sister i’ll ever have.”

after a silent beat, ganyu bursts into tears. zhongli chuckles and rubs her back comfortingly, as xiao feverishly apologizes for making her cry. that day, if not for their little family, xiao would have definitely fallen into the depths of his insecurities. the future may not look as bright, but it’s not as bleak either.

at the end of spring, the graduation ceremony is held at jueyun jian highschool. it’s a grand event, jueyun jian spares no cost in holding a prestigious ceremony each year for their graduates. his friends point out a few famous faces here and there, xiao recognizes absolutely none of them but he nods along just to entertain them one last time before they all split in their separate ways.

after multiple reluctant pictures up on and off the stage with their degrees, he’s dragged to the baseball field by his friends for one last hurrah. it’s strange that this field would be nostalgic in just a few years, when he no longer comes here after every school day.

“this really is goodbye.” xingqiu says, his smile melancholic. “but we had a good run.”

“we did.” xiao murmurs, smiling at the thought of all the memories they've made.

“i’ll never forget you guys, i swear!” gaming babbles, his eyes are tearing up as he wraps an arm around them in one big group hug.

“you’re acting as if we don’t live in the same area…”

“not like you can forget chongyun either, he’s your boyfriend.”

“gaming aside, i’m sure we’ll meet again.” chongyun nods. “perhaps every month or so if we have the time.”

“of course we will!” gaming pouts, crossing his arms. “yunyun and i will make sure we’ll visit you guys wherever you go, trust me!”

xiao rolls his eyes with a smile, before facing back towards the open field in front of him. it really has been a good three years, even if that last match still bothered him to some degree. his teammates recovered quicker than he did, yet the guilt still weighed heavily in his thoughts. they were so close to winning, their momentum and synergy lined up so well until xiao had to ruin it all.

time and time again his friends don’t fault him, and neither do his teammates. in the last few baseball practices before the third years retired, xiao is still held in high regard, never mind the overwhelming guilt that looms over him every single day.

there couldn’t be a worse way to end his highschool baseball career— maybe he’s being overdramatic, but he’s certain he’ll live with this regret until he dies. and thus xiao swears a stupid blunder like that will never happen again.

eventually, xiao realizes he’s been staring off into the distance in silence and he turns back to check on his friends. they’re holding a birthday cake and are wearing party hats, and ganyu has somehow wormed her way into the group. “happy birthday, xiao!”

a surprised laugh escapes his throat as confetti launchers pop, the pieces of paper twirling down from the sky above. behind his friends, his father is holding up his phone with an amused smile on his face. coach xianyun is there, too, hands on her hips as she shakes her head in quiet laughter.

surrounded by his friends and family as he holds a cat-shaped cake, xiao thinks that this really is the boost he needs to pick himself back up from the ground.

momentarily, he thinks of kazuha and how he’d stand here too, with that sunny grin of his brightening up the entire field. he’d blather some embarrassing praise for xiao, then look at him with that unbreakable stare he’s had in his eyes ever since they were fourteen and naive. 

in a perfect world, xiao would have rolled his eyes and pulled him down for a kiss.

unfortunately, that’s not how life works, does it? xiao would move on, they would forget each other and the world would still turn on its axis. he’ll look back at their time together on lonely nights, forever pondering on ‘what if’s— until he remembers kazuha lying to his face and stomps all over those thoughts. nothing more. the cost of falling in love is too much to bear. at his heart’s behest, xiao doesn’t think he ever wants to feel a hurt so calamitous like this ever again.

there is no need for romantic endeavors. the people he has in his life are enough.

from this moment on, xiao vows to never bare his heart open for another person ever again.

Chapter Text

xiao is twenty one when he realizes it’s difficult to run away from some things no matter how hard you try.

for xiao, college baseball isn’t all that different from highschool. out of all the other schools of higher education that reached out to him, the university of tianheng had a scholarship program xiao couldn’t refuse. it guaranteed him a path straight to professional minor leagues, it is no major league that spanned on a national level—nonetheless it offered benefits to him that outshone his other scholarship offers.

“you’ve had seasons of matches and nationals under your belt, it’s no wonder you’ve received a multitude of scholarship letters.” zhongli said as they were sorting through xiao’s pile of letters. “you were the ace pitcher of a two time winning nationally revered team!”

xiao flushed at the praise and pulled at the strands of his hair. “i get it, papa…”

his father and ganyu toured the university grounds with him, and one look at the baseball field further reaffirmed his position on choosing the university as his next stop.

it doesn’t mean the bitterness from the spring match doesn’t linger bitterly in the depths of his heart. though, it becomes a catalyst in xiao’s journey of improvement in his couple years at tianheng. the team coach is a friend of coach xianyun’s— coach houzhang is not as stern in his day-to-day drills, but xiao can see the similarity in their teachings from the backbreaking exercise regiment they’re put through.

familiar faces such as yanfei and yun jin are there, and even gaming, who enrolled in tianheng for culinary arts, reprises his role as shortstop; the familiarity had been relieving to xiao in his first year playing. besides practicing his pitches with yanfei, fielding practice becomes xiao’s sole focus— gaining throwing speed is essential if he wants to go against powerful players in the major leagues.

of course, it throws his teammates and the coach in for a loop— but xiao stands firm on his decision— he wants to improve his weaknesses before he feels worthy of the ace position.

much to his dismay, this gives ammo to some less than cordial teammates who didn’t make it to the first string. they make snide remarks of how a paragon in liyue’s highschool baseball league fell from grace in his last match, calling him a washed up player who landed himself in university instead of going pro. xiao bites back his own retorts, only because gaming shuts them up first with his own barking.

“i’ve never seen you guys at nationals. or maybe it’s because you’re a part of a team we beat at regionals?” gaming would ask challengingly, his eyes narrowed. to xiao, gaming has always been a team player, so perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised at gaming jumping at any chance to defend xiao’s honor.

coach houzhang would eventually reprimand them; they give half-assed apologies to xiao but he never really cared much in the first place. xiao may carry the guilt of his last match for the rest of his life, however, he no longer sees it as the defining factor of his abilities. nonetheless, xiao knows he’s a hard worker and he won’t undermine his own skills just because of the mindless jabs his spiteful teammates might say.

baseball team aside, the general courses he takes are an easy breeze. writing reports doesn't take much time and xiao is blessed enough to be knowledgeable in most of the topics to waltz through the few exams thrown his way.

perhaps the only real university-related gripe that bothers xiao is that this is the first time ganyu decided to pursue a different university. in her last year of highschool, ganyu decided she wanted to take on managerial duties in a baseball team. after discussing her options with their family, she enrolled in qingyun university— coach xianyun’s alma mater.

it goes without saying that xiao would be a terrible older brother if he didn’t support her dreams, but he’s only noticed how lonely it has become without her presence nearby. once they began living in different campus dorms, having her a mere three steps away from his door turns into a memory that he took for granted. 

without fail, ganyu makes this known to him too through her weekly phone calls. xiao doubts she’ll be calling as much in her second year since she’ll be drowning in exams and reports, so he takes the time to listen to her and talk as much as he can before that time arrives.

today is no different. ganyu begins the call with a sleepy greeting; her groggy voice makes xiao want to cross the entire nation just to make sure she’s tucked into bed right after he hangs up. “i had to stay up all night for my exams, then i couldn't exactly go back just yet since i had to go print some paperwork.”

“please tell me you went home afterwards?” xiao twists his mouth in a frown. he’s currently at his dorm room, compiling his notes from the day’s lecture. “you’re picking up my bad habits, mei.”

“guess it runs in the family.” ganyu snickers and xiao all but joins her laughter. “but no, i didn’t.  the team had to gather at the field for … for an announcement.”

“what was it about?” xiao hums, scribbling down more words. the other line is silent for a while as he finishes up writing an extra note for good measure, and he has to tap on his phone to see if ganyu’s still present in the call. “mei?”

“it was nothing important.” ganyu croaks out.

even if ganyu can’t see his face, he’s still rolling his eyes at her half-assed answer. “mei.”

“you’re not going to like it, gege!” there’s the sound of things knocking over and frantic desperation colors her voice. “seriously, it was nothing important!”

xiao rubs a hand on his temple to quell the incoming headache. “fine, i’ll drop it.”

the conversation continues after that awkward stutter. ganyu bemoans the vegetarian options at the university and how she misses xiangling’s boxed lunches, which leads straight to an advice session in which xiao gives tips for managing a team.

“if you recommended me for captain in my third year, maybe i wouldn’t be having this much trouble in uni.” ganyu says with a huff. she’s scratching down notes in earnest and xiao only chuckles at her plight.

“unfortunately for you, xinyan was a better leader.” xiao teases. “in all seriousness, you should be good to go! your notes from today have been packed with information that a captain would definitely approve of. it’s accurate and concise in what goes into helping a team grow.”

“well, yeah, it’s because i asked someone who used to be a captain—” ganyu then begins to cough— “who is obviously gege, duh!”

xiao sighs. “look, mei—”

“—kaedehara gege came by to visit the university today!” a beat passes after ganyu blurts out those words. instantly, xiao’s body jumps and he slams his hands down on the table out of shock. he hasn’t heard of someone in his close circle uttering his name since the spring match.

xiao must be a part of a long running gag, because as much as he’d like to avoid that name, ever since he joined a major league team, inazuma’s ganoderma’s kaedehara kazuha has been shot into stardom within the baseball and teyvat’s celebrity world. with his good looks, talent and charm, it’s a wonder xiao was still surprised the first time he saw kazuha advertising a sports drink on some billboard in the city. his fanbase in liyue is particularly strong, especially so when kazuha mentioned his mothers’ liyuean origins on a variety show clip that xiao watched out of curiosity.

(if someone asked, xiao would claim it happened to be on his social media feed.)

he’s become a star on and off the field. his batting prowess has only grown since they last met, and his throwing strength surpasses a hundred and fifty kilometers per hour— he’s the all rounder player a litany of teams would kill to have. based on their recent wins, ganoderma is lucky to bring kazuha on as an astounding third baseman.

whenever xiao watches his post-match interviews, he doesn’t seethe in bitter jealousy or resentment. long has kazuha ceased his attempts of texting xiao ever since he got the memo that xiao wouldn’t be answering any of his texts or calls anytime soon, and in turn, xiao has chucked that baseball and omamori below all his belongings back at his father’s house. all that remains when he sees kazuha’s glowing face plastered on the entrance of a popular sports brand, or appearing on tv with shiny new friends: it all turns into a numbing hurt that lingers for a couple days.

but to hear kazuha’s presence appear in a place so close to him is like gashing open an old, half-assed stitched up wound.

one way or another, with their choice in careers, xiao is bound to hear of him close by. his friends are more likely to pass him by: xingqiu is touring around different nations with his newest book deal and chongyun has joined a minor league in chenyu— but his little sister?

xiao’s tense silence goes on for long enough that ganyu begins to just continue with her story.

“the university invited him since he’s an up and coming figure in baseball, and for his experience as captain in narukami.” ganyu mutters with a defeated sigh. “... well, it’s mostly because he’s famous now.”

“... i see.” xiao mumbles into his hand.

“he had a question and answer session, so we asked him a bunch of questions! i mean, i couldn’t really pass the opportunity up,” from how high pitched ganyu’s voice has become, she's rambling out of nervousness, “i know i could ask you too but having another perspective is also great for my report…!”

“okay…”

“then, after the meeting was over, i took a picture with him since he asked, and also because i haven’t seen kaedehara gege in so long— i’m really sorry!” ganyu genuinely sounds like she’s on the verge of tears and xiao sobers up from the somber tone he’s taken.

“ganyu, it’s fine. i can't control who you can talk to or miss.” it’s not like xiao ever gave her a proper reason to hate him, either.

“i thought he wasn’t going to approach me either, but he recognized me immediately and was like,” ganyu lowers her pitch and makes her voice sound as relaxed as possible, “‘ganyu-chan! i haven’t seen you in so long! you look great, how are you?’ and i couldn’t stop myself from talking to him…”

the imitation is similar enough that xiao can see that exact scene play out. the all so charming kazuha is an enigma difficult to ignore, it’s a trap xiao has fallen for himself. he bites one of his fingers from just imagining it. “meimei, i promise it’s okay.”

ganyu’s still not listening to him. 

“and– and to make things worse? after my classmates heard about me talking all friendly with kaedehara gege, they asked me to introduce them to him! they say things like ‘oh ganyu, i didn’t know you were friends with a professional player! do you think we could get his number?’— they had photographs of him that they wanted to get signed!” there’s the telltale sound of a chair squeaking, and xiao knows she’s most likely rocking herself back and forth in her chair by now. “first of all, i refused, because i don’t know kaedehara gege that well! and second, if they came earlier, they would’ve made it to the short autograph signing session he held before the meeting!”

oh, the things he’d do to board the next train to qingyun… “meimei, listen to me. breathe.”

there’s a brief pause as ganyu takes a few deep breaths. ganyu doesn’t get worked up so easily, not unless there’s something really bothering her.

“i know you were only holding back from telling me this to avoid upsetting me, but really, it’s alright.” xiao says into the phone with the gentlest tone he can muster up. “you can talk to him and it won’t bother me. promise.”

ganyu sniffles from the other end. “i didn’t want to betray gege like that.”

“mei, you’d never do anything to betray me. unless you sneak in jueyun chilis into my food.”

“it was only that one time! promise you aren’t upset?”

xiao huffs a quiet breath. “i’m not, don’t worry.”

“if gege says so…” there’s a silent pause, before ganyu continues her tirade on how her classmates refused to leave her alone on the topic of kazuha, following her on the edge teetering towards harassment until she had to threaten to report them to the dean.

back then, maybe it was foolish to think that only he saw kazuha in such a light. charismatic, handsome, courageous and kind— it’s all aspects kazuha displays in such an authentic manner, it is bound to attract different people into his orbit, to gain such diehard fans in just three years is a feat someone like kazuha is bound to accomplish.

after chiding her terrible sleep schedule, xiao sends ganyu off to sleep. she goes without a fight and the line goes dead, and xiao packs up his belongings to prepare for tomorrow’s classes. he’s in the middle of stuffing his stubborn books into his backpack when his eyes land on a framed picture on his desk. his eyelashes brush his cheeks as he slowly drags his eyes over the picture, one of his highschool team in their first nationals win.

he narrows down a group chat on his phone on instinct, fingers flying across the keyboard as he types his message out.

the message sends. ‘team meeting. end of the week if possible.’

it’s an agonizing wait for the week to end. it becomes worth it when he enters the yip family’s teashop in the morning, the familiar scent of freshly brewed tea washes over him in calming waves. chongyun and gaming are already seated in a table in the corner, a pile of uno cards haphazardly dumped in the center as both chongyun and gaming wear scowls on their faces.

“uno!” chongyun slams a card on the table with a triumphant yell. he greets xiao when he sits in a chair across from the pair.

gaming grumbles something under his breath before conceding defeat, dumping the rest of his cards on the pile. “fine, you win. whatever!”

“and that’s my third win in a row now.” chongyun smiles, beginning to pack the cards into one stack.

“nice to know your competitive streak remains strong even after getting together.” xiao chimes in, giving them an unimpressed look.

“it keeps things interesting. i get free food, too, for winning.” chongyun says with a shrug. he turns to a glum looking gaming. “want to play again?”

“no.” gaming narrows his eyes. “only if xiao joins in.”

xiao furiously shakes his head.

“come on, xiao! we don’t get to meet like this that often!” in a way, gaming is right. ‘team meetings’ have been a way for them to meet up for a much needed chat session in the midst of their busy lives.

they both turn to him with expectant looks and xiao twists his mouth into a frown. he could easily opt out of the game, but xiao hasn’t seen them in a hot minute— the nostalgia of going to the teashop during school weekends urges at him to join at least for one match. “fine.”

agreeing to play card games or board games with his friends always ends the same way, it\s like pushing up a boulder destined to tumble back down. xiao may be a master at maintaining his emotions in public settings with strangers, and yet after years of knowing his friends, these games never fail to rile him up. gaming is stupidly good at racking up wild cards and chongyun dumps his cards at an alarming rate— xiao bears the brunt of the attacks and he’s third wheeling— who wouldn’t go insane?

they’re making enough noise that in the middle of their heated match, gaming’s dad has to lightly scold them as if they were fifteen again.

the game ends with chongyun winning and gaming unceremoniously shoves the pile of cards back into its box before they could get into another match. “next time, we should just play jenga.”

“your dad is going to kill us for making a mess in the store.” chongyun shoots back. “anyway, xiao, what did you want to talk about?”

“let’s wait for xingqiu to get here.”

gaming blinks up at him. “oh, it’s that serious?”

“quite.” xiao grits out. kazuha hasn’t become a topic of their conversations ever since xiao mentioned their falling out. he could never bring himself to tell them the full story of that day, xiao’s pride would not let him. 

knowing xiao for years by now, they’re not stupid in the least; there’s a brief idea in their minds on what happened judging by xiao’s complete avoidance at everything kazuha-related. it’s a stark contrast to how xiao yearned to meet kazuha when he still thought of him as wanye, or the way xiao never went a day without mentioning narukami’s team from the regular tidbits kazuha would tell him.

but xiao digresses; it feels an association too close and he needs to rant about something before bottling everything up.

speaking of the devil himself, xingqiu arrives with his clothes in disarray and his hair sticking out in different directions.“sorry for running late, my friends!”

“finally!” gaming slumps back in his seat and dramatically swipes non existent sweat off his forehead. “any longer and we would’ve killed each other over uno.”

xingqiu rolls his eyes and laughs. “your father won’t allow it.”

chongyun immediately cuts to the chase, “you sure do look like a hot mess, oh great author zhenyu-xiansheng. busy with something?”

“you could say that, chongyun-xiansheng.” xingqiu hums, fixing the collar of his frilly button up shirt. “artistic purposes, as you may know.”

“you don't need to use euphemisms to talk about whatever you have going on with albedo.” xiao mutters as he drags a hand down his face. xingqiu’s infatuation with albedo has definitely grown ever since they began working together for xingqiu’s novel series, and everyone save for xiao saw it coming. in xiao’s defense, he was distracted by other depressing things.

xingqiu positively fumes and lightly smacks xiao’s arm with his tie. “chongyun asked, so i shall give him an answer! now, what are we discussing today?”

“yesterday, ganyu told me about kazuha’s visit to qingyun.” xiao says, pulling at his fingers.

xingqiu raises an eyebrow. “and why does that warrant a team meeting…?”

“i don’t know,” xiao sputters, “maybe it’s how my little sister talked to him and they took pictures together? i guess it’s a shock that he was so close by.”

“if he came to tianheng, i’m sure the heart attack he would’ve given you would be fatal.” chongyun muses back.

“oh, yeah i saw her university talking about it the other day!” gaming pipes up. he scrambles to get his phone and chongyun instantly holds gaming’s hands together. “hey, i was going to show cap the pictures—!”

chongyun looks past gaming’s struggling to face xiao. “xiao, do you want to see the pictures?”

“okay.” xiao shrugs. he may never talk to kazuha ever again, but he’s absolutely over him and the stupid highschool crush he once had. if xiao wasn’t, he would’ve folded over in pain each time he stepped outside and got a glimpse of the billboards with kazuha’s face smacked front and center.

a switch goes off when gaming shows him the picture. kazuha is in one of his narukami track suits, a sight xiao hasn’t seen in three years. it’s a candid picture from the looks of how there’s no flashy grin on his face, just his natural cadence as he speaks to a group of people. compared to all the clean suits and shiny branded sports shoes, xiao is reminded of the kazuha he knew back before spring finals happened.

xiao gnaws at his bottom lip and leans back into his chair. gaming pulls his phone back and all three of his friends look at each other, while xiao remains silent.

“he looks like he’s doing well.” xiao finally utters.

the silence is tense, even when chongyun decides to cut right through it. “uh, so. what was kaedehara talking about with ganyu?”

“just about his experience as captain in narukami… which is why he’s wearing the track suit, i guess.”

“it makes sense, he’s an up and coming figure in the baseball world. he’s been hitting it off great in both liyuean and inazuman variety shows, and he’s well within their age group to be relatable enough for the talk to be worthwhile.” xingqiu notes, using his fingers to count each point.

gaming adds to his point with a cheery exclaim. “he was a brilliant captain back in narukami, too!”

“i can attest to it…” xiao huffs, crossing his arms. there was no need for gaming to rub more salt into his wound.

chongyun looks between them before speaking up. “did we gather here to wax poetic over kaedehara…?”

“no, i mean, isn’t it just infuriating that he’s kind of everywhere? he goes pro, and suddenly he’s so loved by the public— well, he does have qualities to him that would boost his popularity, but still!” xiao rambles, further fidgeting with his fingers as his voice grows more frantic.

“well, you and chongyun are still in the sport. it’s not surprising to hear about him, especially if he’s a freshly popular face on a well known team.” xingqiu shrugs in that nonchalant way he does so each time he’s about to explain business in simpler terms for them commoners. “brands are jumping at the opportunity to sponsor him, and he needs the support to gain further funding and popularity.”

chongyun clicks his tongue. “xiao knows that. he’s just freaking out over the picture.”

xiao is close to standing over the table and throttling chongyun by his collar. “alright, i never should have brought this up.”

“no, cap, it’s fine!” gaming says, waving his hands. “some things take time to heal, so it’s perfectly okay to move at your own pace.”

“i never had anything with him.” xiao spits bitterly, scowling at his cup.

“we all know that's a lie.” there’s a shoulder on his arm, and xiao looks up to see xingqiu’s frown. “you had known him since he was just wanye to you. you were friends and rivals. are you really going to tell us that was nothing?”

xiao lets out a shaky breath, and presses his mouth into a thin line. a part of him may never really forget the connection he felt with kazuha, whether or not it was romantic. “fine. you’re right.”

“exactly. so it’s fine to freak out over this kind of thing every once in a while.” xingqiu smiles and gives his shoulder a comforting squeeze.

chongyun nods in agreement. “xiao does bottle up his feelings most of the time. this discussion was definitely needed, then.”

xiao coughs and squawks out a rebuttal. “that’s not true!”

“training camp.” strike one.

“winter break.” strike two.

“spring nationals!” strike three.

xiao flushes red and furiously rubs his face. “whatever, maybe i do, but it’s something i’ll work on!”

his friends snicker and poke lighthearted fun at xiao’s red face, and for a fraction of a second, they’re back in the jueyun jian’s baseball field, laughing to themselves without a care in the world.

that is, until gaming’s dad yells for gaming. “a-ming, help me with the customers that just came in the front!”

“okay! sorry guys, gotta help my old man out for a bit.” gaming leaves, but not without pressing a kiss to chongyun’s cheek. now it’s xiao’s turn to giggle at chongyun’s rapidly reddening face.

xingqiu unabashedly goes in for the killing blow to chongyun’s remaining shame. “if you guys get married, who are you making your best man? me, or xiao?”

“shut up! i still haven’t turned twenty one…!” chongyun’s voice stutters like a broken engine.

“it doesn’t hurt to ask.”

chongyun huffs and sends him a challenging look. “so can i ask if you and albedo are going to eventually make things official?”

xingqiu groans and swats a hand in chongyun’s direction. “it’s complicated between us!”

“do tell us the story, xingqiu.” xiao grins, joining in on the teasing. it’s not very often they get to tease xingqiu while he’s flustered— his composure rarely ever breaks, and it’s only recently they’ve learned that break was caused by a certain mondstadt player.

“now, you see—”

at the same time, gaming scrambles back to their table, wildly waving his arms. “guys, guys! you’ll never believe who i ran into at the entrance!”

is it stupid that the skip of xiao’s heart at those words was instantaneous?

“you and chongyun sure do have a habit of telling us who you met without saying their name…” xingqiu mutters, shaking his head. “out with it. who did you see?”

xiao’s traitorous heart pounds harder even if he knows it’s most likely a fluke.

“i brought him with me, so you can just see for yourselves!”

“hello, everybody!” a figure pops up behind from gaming and xiao almost goes into shock from the sheer surprise.

the last time xiao saw him, his hair was longer and unkempt. now, as he stands in front of their table, shikanoin heizou’s hair is shorter, wearing a loose fitting tank top that shows off the smattering of moles on his arms and neck. his green eyes immediately brighten as they land on xiao’s and his stomach twists itself into hard knots.

“shikanoin?” xiao asks, incredulous, hands shaking. xiao wasn’t thinking of shikanoin when he heard gaming mention someone, but there's something inherently insane in xiao making his heart tremble at the sight of shikanoin heizou three years since they last met. shikanoin and kazuha are most definitely still friends— kazuha has mentioned narukami a few times in a few viral interview clips— and xiao isn’t ready to hear shikanoin blab about kazuha’s achievements right after having the realization that maybe he’s not that over their friendship.

“were you expecting someone else, captain xiao?” shikanoin teases and sticks his tongue out. 

xiao ignores the direct strike to his train of thought. “i wasn’t expecting you, no.”

shikanoin only laughs off xiao’s jab and puts his arms on his hips. “you’re still as direct as ever, i see.”

“there’s no need to call me captain anymore. no ace, either. i’m just a reserve pitcher.” there’s no need for formalities, but xiao doesn’t want to tread over certain boundaries placed in between them.

“yeah, but you’ll be ace soon!” gaming exclaims, giving him a thumbs up.

“i’m surprised you’re not the ace by now, xiao.” shikanoin enunciates his name with a drag. he looks down at xiao and grins when xiao thins his lip into a slight frown. “after all, you’ve always been a brilliant player.”

“he’s been focusing more on fielding to increase his pitching strength.” chongyun says, muffled through the bites of cake he’s been having.

“fielding, huh?” a smirk forms on shikanoin’s face and xiao prays to whatever god is listening that he’s not about to run with that information and tell kazuha about it. “i could help give you some tips! as you all know, i was left fielder back in narukami!”

“there’s no need for that right now,” xiao mutters, shaking his head. there’s no telling what could happen if shikanoin decided to stick around in his life.

“shikanoin, what are you doing in liyue anyway?” xingqiu quips. “last i saw from your instagram posts, you were still back in inazuma driving a cyclone through all the minor leagues.”

xiao’s head nearly snaps as he whirls to look at shikanoin. “you’re in the minor league?”

“yup! i’ve been signed to tenryou and in their first string as center fielder. is that so shocking?” shikanoin quirks up an eyebrow, grinning. “if you followed me on instagram, you would’ve known.”

he’s right. xiao should have expected it, especially with kunikuzushi’s mother’s endorsement of narukami. after the spring match and their win, more opportunities were sure to open up for all their members.

xiao is about to hit back with a snappy retort until xingqiu cuts him off. “xiao only follows jueyun jian team members.”

“i don’t see a reason to use instagram that much.” xiao mutters, levelling xingqiu with a glare.

“i’m in liyue because i’ve got a few friendly matches here. my team wants to visit popular spots in each city before we have to leave.” shikanoin points over his shoulder with a thumb, to a table near the entrance up front where a group of people are sitting around two tables. “i should probably go back.”

“shoot, me too! i’m supposed to be helping the old man! call me if you need anything!” gaming yelps, then he runs off to the kitchen.

before he leaves, shikanoin sweeps his gaze across their table, and leaves one lingering look on xiao that makes him raise a questioning eyebrow. “it… it was nice seeing you guys.”

xiao nods and he turns back to face their table. xingqiu is resting his head on one hand, leaning towards xiao, topping it all off with a strangely smug look on his face. “are you sure you won’t take him up on his offer?”

“why would i? fielding practice is something i do on the side. yun jin has been giving me tips, too.”

“it doesn’t hurt to get another perspective on fielding.” chongyun quips back. “when he played left field, he could throw back home to arataki just like that,” he claps his hand together for emphasis, “in less than a second. he’s a strong player, an insanely fast runner at that. as center fielder, he’s only gotten better since he graduated highschool. it’s like nobody can escape his wrath once he’s got his hands on the ball, so he’s been called ‘cyclone’ as of late.”

back in training camp, when shikanoin and xiao had played together on the same team, xiao recalls seeing the same thing. if kazuha wasn’t already on the team, shikanoin would’ve most likely been chosen to be third baseman. now he’s in the minor league playing as center fielder, with an arm just as strong.

xiao sighs and looks off to the side. “i’ll think about it.”

“uh, you can’t be thinking for too long,” chongyun points to the table, frowning, “because they’re about to leave!”

xiao looks between his friends and the group leaving by the door, his leg bouncing as he ponders over the possible cost of practicing with shikanoin. in the end, he throws his thoughts out the window and gets up, the chair scraping across the floor as he goes to catch up with shikanoin’s group.

xiao pushes the door open and braces his arms on the pillars on the entrance, his heart jumping to his throat as he shouts out his name. “shikanoin!”

the entire tenryou team faces him and xiao feels his face heat up in mild embarrassment. shikanoin’s own eyes are wide. he says something to his team, before jogging back to the entrance of the teashop, an amused grin on his face.

standing face to face, shikanoin has grown taller and his shoulders are broader— maybe xiao is a little lightheaded from getting up so quickly from his chair that his words gets stuck in his throat as he blinks up at shikanoin’s anticipating grin. “err, well, i just…”

“yeah?” 

even while knowing he’s one association away from kazuha, if xiao wants to join the major league and succeed in a good team, he needs this experience.

“if you’re still around in liyue for a bit longer, maybe you could come by to the university of tianheng for a match…” xiao’s words trail off at the end, his mouth clamping shut out of embarrassment. he clears his throat and swallows his pride, “... and give me some advice on fielding?”

shikanoin beams and enthusiastically nods his head. “of course! can we exchange numbers?”

xiao pats around his pockets, and realizes with dread that he left it on the table. “oh. i left it inside.”

“you ran out here without thinking?” shikanoin shakes his head with a laugh, and he hands his phone over to xiao. “here. i’ll send you a text.”

with shaky fingers, xiao types his number in. his hands are clammy by the time he’s done and shikanoin saves his number, sending a text to xiao before he says goodbye and runs back to his team.

back in the teashop, xingqiu’s smug look is still there and chongyun shrugs when xiao sends him a questioning look. xiao checks his phone and finds shikanoin’s message, and drags a hand down his face at the single ‘text’ shikanoin sends.

‘very direct’, xiao types back, and receives a winking gif in quick succession.

xiao makes a face. “i’m starting to regret this.”

“i don’t think you will.” xingqiu singsongs, patting xiao’s arm. “trust me. it’ll be much needed.”

before xiao can bite back with another snappy remark of his own, chongyun suggests playing monopoly while waiting for gaming to come back. at the drop of a hat, xingqiu’s grin turns wicked and xiao groans.

two weeks after meeting shikanoin in the teashop, xiao receives a text from him every other day. on some days, all shikanoin asks are for food recommendations, and on others, he’ll send xiao some nonsensical picture of himself in a tourist attraction.

half of the time, xiao simply replies with a sticker gaming edited of his cat, man chai, doing a thumbs up. it’s the only answer xiao can come up with without coming off as dry, as much as ganyu calls him so. it doesn’t seem like shikanoin cares, given how he continues to send texts day after day.

‘don’t tell anyone, but i think we’ll be going to your uni next week,’ reads shikanoin’s message one afternoon after practice, punctuated by a smiley emoji. ‘tianheng invited us! i haven’t even brought up the idea to the team manager yet, but i think they’ll accept.’

xiao sends the man chai sticker in response. he puts his phone back down on the bench and fits the mitt back onto his hand, walking back into the bullpen to continue pitching practice with yanfei.

by now, their battery has created new signals for xiao’s pitching. his two seamer is still his signature pitch, but his screwball is a rising star amongst his arsenal of pitches. enough practice has given yanfei ample time to catch his pitches with ease compared to the beginning of their first year; if anything, xiao’s thankful enough that yanfei was the reserve catcher back in jueyun jian.

“let’s do the changeup next, just so you don’t get rusty.” yanfei calls to him, throwing the ball right back.

xiao nods, before leaning back and changing his grip to a changeup. as he throws the ball, coach houzhang enters the bullpen. “one is not surprised to see you both still here.”

“it’s a habit i can’t break.” xiao mutters, wiping off the sweat on his forehead.

“one knows, xianyun has mentioned that getting you to stop is a fruitless endeavour.” coach houzhang chuckles, “we’ll be switching team positions soon, right before a practice match with a minor league team.”

“let me guess, tenryou?” xiao deadpans, raising an eyebrow.

“oh! how did you know?”

“um,” the hand in his mitt is itching to fidget. “i have a … friend on the team.” 

“ah, one understands. yes, we’ll be having a friendly match with tenryou in a weeks’ time before they leave for inazuma.” coach houzhang says with a pleased smile. “don’t overwork yourself till then, xiao.”

xiao grunts a noncommittal reply, then turns back to yanfei to continue practice.

“tenryou, huh?” yanfei mutters, putting a finger on her chin as she looks into the distance. “isn’t that heizou’s team?”

“is everyone aware of what all the narukami members are doing except me?” xiao groans.

“no, actually, heizou is the only narukami member i follow on social media.” yanfei says, her hand waving off xiao’s grumbling, “we hit it off during the camp when we were discussing law, and we occasionally message each other crime novel recommendations.”

it explains the use of his given name, xiao thinks. “fair enough.”

their practice ends once xiao is satisfied enough with his changeup, and they discuss a possible strategy for next week’s game when xiao gets switched in to pitch after the ace.

except that plan instantly falls flat on its face when xiao is made the ace just two days later.

nevertheless, xiao has grown enough self-confidence back from his three years in tianheng and learning from his peers to accept the new uniform, and new position, with a firm look on his face. everyone applauds him and his ears turn red from all the praise and attention— he’s not as close to his team members as he was back in jueyun jian, but their synergy on the field comes effortlessly to him. and now as the ace, he feels more assured in this position and vows to bring their team to glory in the college baseball league.

the week of the match with shikanoin’s team, their team finalized their plan after reviewing tenryou’s latest matches. like in narukami, probably due to his speed, shikanoin is leadoff. he’ll be the first batter xiao faces, and it's been awhile since xiao has faced an opponent he once knew from nationals in a friendly match setting; he’s itching to see the strained look on shikanoin’s face once xiao strikes him out.

“tenryou focuses more on defense rather than offense, so it’ll be more crucial when the time comes to bat.” the captain noted to the team a day before the match, “however, it does not mean our defense will slack off. xiao will hold their offense off as much as he can, and our fielders will pick them off whenever possible. now, get some rest for tomorrow!”

on the day of the match, shikanoin scampers up to xiao when he spots him, lighting up when he looks at the number on his back. “reserve pitcher, huh?”

xiao crosses his arms and amusedly corrects him. “it’s new.”

the game begins when all the team members have assembled in the field, with tianheng batting first.

like the captain said, tenryou’s defense is hard to crack through. their ace’s pitches don’t strike out tianheng’s batters one after the other— it’s the fielders that do most of the legwork. their accuracy at catching long balls are scarily precise, with shikanoin at the helm of the outfielders and catching most of the long balls himself, it becomes unbelievably tough to even get a score in.

up at the mound, xiao defends the diamond while observing the different players. the difference in playing against a minor league team compared to a highschool or college team is obviously vast, but the taste of striking out players playing in a professional league is euphoric. shikanoin is somehow as predictable as he was back in highschool, and xiao strikes him out with two changeups and one sinker. so much for the cyclone nickname.

“nice ball!” his team yells after each devastating pitch, fueling his euphoria. the combination of adrenaline and endorphins spur him to end each inning with one to two runners, but xiao refuses to let tenryou gain a point before their team does. like he’s trying to prove xiao’s thoughts wrong, shikanoin’s catches multiple balls in the outfield and sends the other members off in rapid speed to take out runners in the diamond. chongyun wasn’t kidding, shikanoin’s arm strength is scarily accurate and the catcher at home plate has no problem catching it and outing a runner in quick succession.

once xiao is able to bat again, he goes for a bunt. thanks to the shortstop, his earlier batting got him picked off at first base, so he goes for a different approach. when the ball flies towards him, xiao lightly taps it with his bunt and sends it flying to the ground. the tenryou team scrambles to go after the ball— the third baseman was clearly expecting anything but a groundball hurdling in their direction— and xiao takes this chance to run.

“groundball!” xiao sprints to first base, sticking his foot out when he slides down to the ground— he makes it and his team goes wild.

sacrifice bunts, groundballs and a homerun later— their teams are tied. in the last inning, the reserve pitcher on jueyun jian closes it with two strikeouts at the mound. everyone holds their breaths until yun jin picks off the last runner from right field, right before the runner makes it to second base. the game ends, and tianheng wins their first practice match of the season.

“congrats on winning.” shikanoin catches up to him in the gates of the university as xiao says goodbye to yanfei and his teammates. he’s changed out of his baseball uniform into another dastardly sleeveless tank top. “i guess we were getting a bit too lenient after some of our wins here.”

“came here to pity me, did you, shikanoin?” xiao challenges him, cocking his hips.

shikanoin raises his hands up in defense, shaking his head. “nothing like that! it’s just that… before i leave liyue, i wanted to invite you to a party i thought you might be interested in.”

“i’m not interested in parties.” xiao scoffs, crossing his arms. “it’s too loud and just not my kind of scene.”

“i thought so,” shikanoin rubs the back of his head, sheepishly. “would you change your mind if i told you there would be people from the major league industry there…?”

“as in?”

“as in scouters, players, managers and the like.” shikanoin shrugs. he looks like he’s attempting to be nonchalant right after casually inviting xiao to a supposedly exclusive party with equally exclusive members. “if you don’t believe me, i could pull up a poster—”

“there’s no need for that. i’ll go.” it could be that xiao agreed without thinking things through, but shikanoin having contacts in the professional industry isn’t that far fetched of an idea. there’s an advantage to be gained, and if shikanoin was offering it to him on a silver platter, xiao won’t refuse.

shikanoin’s eyes go comically wide for a moment. “really?”

“yes, i'll go.” xiao draws in an exasperated breath. “don’t make me regret this, shikanoin.”

“okay, great! you’ll be my plus one, so forgive people if they mistake us as …” shikanoin looks up and down at xiao, before turning away with a cough. “ah, something.” 

xiao twists his mouth into a frown. he’ll endure it. like xingqiu said, in the end, it would be worth it. “deal.”

“are you insane? you’re not going out like that.” once xiao told ganyu about the party, her request to see his outfit on video call was immediate.

“what? it’s not a terrible outfit. it’s just a party.” xiao frowns and looks down at his clothes. he’s wearing a coat over his oversized graphic t-shirt, and a clean pair of jeans. “it’s not like i’ll be dancing, it isn’t necessary.”

ganyu is fuming, her nose wrinkling in mild disgust. “if you’re going there in hopes to impress people, you have to dress nicer! what about those flared bell bottom jeans you have?”

“... i haven’t had a chance to use them.”

“then use it now! along with that black sweater you bought last year, it’ll be perfect!”

“but it’s—

ganyu’s nose flares and she shakes her head. “go!”

minutes later, xiao shuffles back on screen wearing the proposed outfit. despite the long sleeves, the black souffle sweater’s v neck goes down past his collarbones and makes his neck feel a little more vulnerable in the open air. the black denim flare-bottom jeans are as form-fitting as he remembers them to be after ganyu shoved him into a changing room when they last went clothes shopping together. looking at the outfit put together like this, xiao admits that he does look pretty good.

he turns around per ganyu’s insistence, feeling his face flush at showing off an outfit he never thought he’d enjoy wearing. she makes him wear a couple necklaces and spray on cologne for the finishing touches, and once he’s done, his little sister claps and cheers for a solid minute.

“oh, ganyu, you genius…” she says, a pleased smile forming on her lips. “you look great, gege!”

“thanks, mei.” ganyu wipes away a non-existent tear, and xiao shakes his head with a quiet laugh at her dramatics. “i’ll be heading out soon, then.”

“okay! text me when you get back home!” xiao and ganyu say their last goodbyes before the call ends. he falls back onto his bed and holds his phone close to his chest, staring up at the ceiling. it’s just a couple hours to get through. once he makes some necessary contacts and connections, he’ll have shikanoin send him home and that will be it.

his phone begins ringing and xiao sharply exhales. he picks it up and shikanoin’s voice blares in his ear: “xiao! i just arrived! i’m waiting in the parking lot.”

heading to the meeting point, xiao’s heart begins to pound faster step after step. it’s the first time xiao goes out in public with an outfit like this— he’s never had a chance to wear either of these clothes out in a public setting, nor has he ever attempted to in lieu of comfort. still, he makes confident strides across the span of the parking lot, until he finds shikanoin leaning against the side of a maroon red car.

shikanoin is dressed just as nice; he’s in a white, short-sleeved button up shirt with one of the buttons popped open, and deep gray jeans. to top it off, there’s an expensive looking watch on his wrist that xiao spots the second shikanoin starts to wave at him, and xiao’s suddenly grateful that ganyu forced him out of his earlier outfit choice.

“xiao! hey.” as xiao stands in front of him, shikanoin sounds breathless. he sweeps his gaze down xiao’s outfit and grins, “you… you look nice.”

“i try.” xiao scans over the car behind him. “i didn’t know you drove.”

“i rented it.” shikanoin opens the passenger side of the door with a bow. “for you.”

rolling his eyes at shikanoin’s antics, xiao climbs into the car. shikanoin clambers in a second not too soon, and they’re off. the direction they take is the one leading to the shinier parts of the city, one where tourists often frequent to buy luxury goods and souvenirs. it’s a flashy area that xiao rarely ever goes to, though the area only further proves that this party truly is the real deal.

“is anyone you know going to be there?” xiao murmurs, after shikanoin went on a short spiel of fielding tips that he promised xiao.

“not that i know of!” shikanoin says, leaning back against the seat to drive with one hand and gesture with the other. “kuni-kun’s currently studying in sumeru, itto’s traveling with family in natlan, and the rest are back home in inazuma.”

xiao chews at his bottom lip, staring hard at the road ahead of them. “and?”

“...and?” shikanoin echoes. he turns to glance at xiao before it seemingly clicks in his head at xiao’s implication. “oh, kazuha? he’s in inazuma, too. i thought i said that?”

“right.” xiao narrows his eyes. xiao wouldn’t need to worry about bumping into anyone he knows, and if he does, he’ll feign ignorance and blame it on his brain for being unable to register unfamiliar faces. it’s liyue, so he’s bound to catch more liyeuan athletes than any other nation.

still, knowing that doesn't stop the wince he makes when they park in the underground parking lot of a prominent nightclub he’s heard whispers floating about in the halls of the university. his gut is fraying with nerves as shikanoin guides him into the club; the bouncer let shikanoin and him in from just one show of shikanoin’s i.d and the first bass notes that resound throughout the space rattle straight down to xiao’s bones the second they enter.

like any other nightclub, ostentatious fluorescent strobe lights pulse and flicker across the packed dance floor. they weave through throngs of partygoers, the sickly smell of alcohol wafting from the sweaty bodies around them. it’s difficult not to grimace at the setting; the deafening music and getting the grime of strangers on him isn’t how he would’ve spent his weekend night. in the middle of brewing a possible escape plan in his head, shikanoin comes to a stop in front of a staircase.

“we’re here!” shikanoin yells, beckoning him to come closer. after shikanoin says something to the security up front, they’re let in with no hassle, and xiao’s stomach flips as they head up into the room. upon arriving, it’s hard not to notice the various people covered in flashy designer clothing brands and accessories that are worth more than his father’s house scattered throughout the large private area, be it huddled in small groups or languidly chatting by the bar.

he feels slightly out of place as he allows shikanoin to pull him along by the arm across the area, coming to a halt at a round table.

“shikanoin! you came!” one of the guys says, getting up to bring shikanoin in for a side hug. xiao idly stands by and scans the people seated around the table. there are several players from minor and major leagues, and xiao tries not to start buzzing out of his skin in excitement at the presence of highly respected figures.

“i wanted to bring my friend here!” shikanoin gestures to xiao, and xiao bows politely in response. “he’s an incredible player, really!”

“oh! i’ve seen him play before during one of the highschool national league games!” another one quips. he comes up to shake xiao’s hand, “xiao, right? i’m sethos, shortstop for hermanubis’ silencers. your pitches are marvelous; they’re insanely fast, but also precise!”

“thank you.” xiao says as loud as he can over the pounding music. shikanoin pulls a chair for him and xiao pats his arm in a quiet thanks as he sits down.

“the ace from the highschool that continuously represented liyue at nationals?” comes the voice from a familiar ginger haired player— one xiao recognizes from a team he saw back when he was still in highschool. it’s the snezhnayan player in one of liyue’s biggest major league teams and xiao hopes he’s not shaking as he nods his head in acknowledgement.

“yeah, the same one!” shikanoin puffs with pride, grinning as he pats xiao’s back. “xiao, this is childe, ace of—”

“— seven stars.” xiao finishes with a shaky breath. “i’ve watched some of your matches, and your forkball is as deadly as it looks on screen. it’s brilliant.”

childe grins with a smug look and the woman on the other side of the couch shakes her head. “if you keep gassing him up, his head will explode. i’m keqing, manager for seven stars. we have watched your matches as well, and it’s a wonder you have not been picked up for a major league team yet.”

xiao digs his nails into his palm and attempts not to wince as he speaks,“i wanted to improve more on certain skills before going pro.”

“maybe you could recruit him into seven stars,” childe drones, before downing a shot. a few people in the group voice their agreements and xiao turns silent at the piling praise from teams he’s looked up to all his life.

keqing turns to gaze at xiao, and under her scrutiny, xiao deeply breathes in to avoid squirming in his seat. “i’m not so sure about that. from his playstyle, he’d work better with yakshas. i could give someone there a call.”

at the mention of yakshas, xiao begins to hack and sputter. “there’s no need, really—!”

“xiao’s currently the ace of the university of tianheng— i played a match against him the other day and our team got our asses kicked.”

shikanoin pouts and xiao rolls his eyes. “you were just as strong, shikanoin.”

“still, you have to admit your pitching was insane back then!” shikanoin argues back, and the group then falls into a conversation over the current college baseball season and xiao’s experience back at nationals. in xiao’s heart, his inner child freaks out over the repeated fact that he’s been recognized by some of the industry’s greatest. a few more people come and go by, mingling with their group, and on the off chance xiao gets recognized, it adds onto a high he never wants to come down from. by the end of the first hour, xiao has a few more contacts on his phone and follows several more people on instagram. whatever, at least xiao gets to brag about it to his friends.

amidst the conversation as the tension slightly leaves his body, sethos slides over a filled shot glass to him. “tequila? it’s kind of strong, though.”

his body hums from the high of receiving high praise and recognition he once dreamed of, so he doesn’t think it’d be terrible to celebrate a little more for his small victories. “sure.”

he wraps his fingers around the shot glass and tips his head back as he drinks it in one go. the bitter burst of alcohol hits his taste buds and the liquid burns his throat; it’s a nasty taste, but xiao prefers to down alcohol in one shot than let it prolong a second longer on his tongue.

“woah, i didn’t expect you to drink like that. fry?” shikanoin holds up a french fry and xiao accepts, the salty tang washing away the bitter aftertaste. “do you drink often?”

“no. i’ve only drank my father’s osmanthus wine and some wine xingqiu bought from fontaine, but if you’re asking, i don’t get tipsy that quick.” xiao says, resting his head back against the couch’s headrest.

shikanoin laughs, loud enough over the bass of the electronic music. “what a relief, ‘cause at least it means i won’t have to drag you back to your dorm room.”

three more shots of tequila xiao doesn’t remember taking start to seep into his bloodstream, his worries and thoughts are rendered into a pile of mush as he lazily snickers at a picture on shikanoin’s phone of shikanoin back in middle school. through his lightheaded, dazed state, the electronic pop music and colored lights of the dancefloor below beckon him to let loose after a tense week. most of the attendees in the private area have dispersed into the animated crowd, it’s only natural that shikanoin disappears into the crowd for a quick dance. xiao can’t bring himself to purposefully wade through a bunch of sticky bodies, so he stays behind.

there’s an incoming headache, but xiao still washes down the last sticks of fries he ate with two more tequila shots. it’s guaranteed he’ll get a killer hangover tomorrow, but xiao’s too far gone to genuinely care. it’s future xiao’s problem, not his.

he closes his eyes to quell the ache in his temples, until they snap back open when he hears the words: “hey, isn’t that kunikuzushi?”

“what?” xiao gawks, turning his head to sethos with a look of disbelief.

sethos looks back at him and raises an eyebrow. “you know, the one from narukami? i’ve seen him around the akademiya and at some gatherings since we have a few mutual friends.”

“he’s here? right now?” xiao glances around the floor, and he narrows down kunikuzushi’s back with his deep indigo hair and electric purple streaks, his all black get up and another person’s figure right beside him at the bar. “it… really is him.”

“huh, i thought he was still at sumeru? it’s not that surprising either. they invited a bunch of players from the industry, and with his mom’s endorsement it’s no wonder he’s here. well, unless he’s someone else’s plus one, i guess.” sethos blabs, pouring another shot of tequila and offering it to him. “that match you guys had in your third year really was something! narukami destroyed my team the year before that, so i get it.”

xiao swipes the shot out of his hand, and immediately hits back the shot and slams it back down. “yeah. whatever.”

“woah, slow down.” sethos grimaces, before he turns back to look at kunikuzushi. he squints and xiao slumps back in his seat, dazedly staring at the ceiling as his head continues to pound. “now that i think about it, the guy next to him is pretty familiar. i can’t quite see properly, though. it’s too dark here.”

“it’s a nightclub.” xiao grumbles underneath his breath, pouring another shot of tequila for himself. his body moves like lead as he tilts his head up to look for kunikuzushi at the bar. the strobe lights shine down on kunikuzushi and his partner for a fraction of a second— then all xiao can focus on is a crimson streak atop of platinum blonde hair, blazing red eyes flashing under the bright lights and a smile he’s only seen from behind a screen in the last three years. kazuha laughs at something, his arm swung around kunikuzushi’s waist— the action kickstarts xiao’s brain back into motion and before his brain can register the scene unfolding at the bar, he downs one last shot then stumbles down the stairs out into the dancefloor.

there’s no telling if it’s the alcohol or his emotions making him sick to his stomach, regardless, xiao searches through the throngs of people; his thoughts swirl like a hurricane in his head until he finds shikanoin dancing in the heart of the dancefloor. 

shikanoin is moving his body fluidly with the crowd, his bangs stuck to his head as he throws his arms up in the air, hips moving to the fast paced rhythm of the music. looking around, xiao swallows dryly and approaches shikanoin, the music swells up and riles up the dancers all around him. shikanoin’s eyes open, and they lock with xiao’s as he beckons xiao over with his hand. he’s a few steps away when a clubgoer’s swing hurls xiao forward, and he crashes right into shikanoin’s arms with a yelp.

xiao’s eyes blink open and shikanoin’s look of concern is all up in his face due to the packed condition of the dancefloor. out of the corner of his eye, kunikuzushi and kazuha are looking out at the dancefloor now and xiao’s stomach churns at the sight of their close proximity.

“i thought you said kazuha was back home in inazuma.” xiao says into the space between them, furrowing his brows into an angry frown. “he’s right there! with kunikuzushi!”

shikanoin’s jaw drops open and he begins to flounder around looking for them. “what? where?”

“stop doing that!” xiao stops him by holding his head with a firm hand and glares at him. “did you do this on purpose? did you ask me to come because you knew they’d be here?”

in this close space, he can hear shikanoin’s heavy breathing from dancing and gets a faint waft of his earthy cologne. there’s sweat sticking to his face, gaze half lidded as he looks down at xiao with a look of frustration. he laughs in disbelief, and xiao lightly tugs at his hair when he doesn’t respond.

“did you know they were coming to fuck with me on purpose?” xiao says through gritted teeth. he should’ve never come in the first place. hell, he should’ve known shikanoin could’ve told kazuha at any time just to mess with him.

shikanoin’s eyebrows furrow and he scowls. “are you serious? no, of course not! i’d never do that to you! i swear, i didn’t know they’d be coming, nobody knew!”

shikanoin could be right, sethos didn’t look like he knew kunikuzushi or kazuha was coming either. “i’m sorry, i think i—”

a headache pounds through xiao’s head and he squeezes his eyes shut, slightly crumpling down over shikanoin’s body. shikanoin’s arms come up to steady him on his feet, and xiao feels like throwing up over his nice pair of shoes. the headache passes and guilt creeps into xiao’s gut over jumping to conclusions, it’s now that the stress of the situation truly starts to sink in.

he could’ve been lying in bed at his dorm, and yet—

it’s like a lighting strike when he feels it. one quick glimpse to the private area and his heart thunders vehemently over the deafening noise of the crowd and music, kazuha’s intense gaze is directed to the center of the dancefloor, right in their direction. xiao swallows a breath and looks up, because of course, the damned disco ball is right above them.

he could blame it on how rambunctious the people behind him are when he flips them around so that shikanoin’s back is to kazuha. he could blame the alcohol taking control of his body the moment he reaches up to loop an arm around shikanoin’s neck and arches into his space, relinquishing the already little space between them. the hands automatically holding onto his hips make the corner of xiao’s lips turn into a crooked smile.

eyeing shikanoin’s shell shocked face, xiao would’ve never imagined finding himself in this position with him. back then, as teenagers, xiao never found his gaze straying away from kazuha’s. however now, even if it’s meant to be a ruse to run away from his oncoming problem, xiao can’t lie that shikanoin’s looks have truly become devastatingly attractive since highschool.

shikanoin’s adam’s apple bobs as xiao drags his free hand down his chest to play with the hem of his collar. “remember how you said people might see us as… something?”

“uh, yeah?” his chest moves up and down with each harsh breath he takes, and xiao resists the temptation to look behind him for kazuha’s gaze.

“then, let’s pretend. right now. kazuha’s staring and he can’t know that i’m here.” xiao mutters slowly, flicking at the second button of his top. “we don’t have to do anything, just dance with me. please, shikanoin.”

at any given time, xiao will allow shikanoin to push him away. it’s an absurd plan, to use the only reasonable person he trusts in this room to avoid his problem, though it’s mostly the alcohol talking, isn’t it? shikanoin exhales through his nose and he looks back up from his shirt and into his eyes, pupils dilated and cheeks flushed. “fine. but don’t call me shikanoin.”

xiao slings his other arm over him and tugs him closer, a smirk pulling at his lips, “heizou, then?”

“yeah.” heizou smiles devilishly and holds xiao tighter against him, and xiao rolls his eyes in amusement as they move to the music. heizou noses xiao’s neck and xiao feels the hot puffs of breath on the skin, the tingles traveling down his spine. “if we’re going to be acting like something, you don’t mind this, do you?”

there’s a fog clouding xiao’s brain from all the overwhelming sensations in his head, and through the haze, he drags a hand through heizou’s hair and mumbles an affirmation. it’s a nice feeling to be somewhat wanted, even if it’s pretend, it gives him a taste of what he could have if he isn’t so hellbent on remaining alone.

through his lidded gaze, he searches through the hazy fluorescent lights for any sign for kazuha or kunikuzushi, and spots their figures huddled close by on a couch near the edge of the balcony. his unhelpful brain supplies multiple images of what could be conspiring shrouded in darkness, until he sees kazuha lift his head to look back at the dancefloor.

something pangs in his chest when xiao’s drunken deluded mind drums up the imagination of kazuha staring right at them in a sea full of moving bodies. heizou comes up from his neck and attempts to look in the same direction xiao stares at— xiao huffs and pulls his head closer to block kazuha’s view.

“stop looking at them.” xiao hisses. “i think he’s looking at us. come on, we have to pretend we’re two random people dancing!”

“okay, okay.” heizou laughs, his hand going up to squeeze xiao’s waist. “you have to stop looking at them for this to work, you know?”

“i— well,” xiao’s sentence falters, and he bites his lip to stifle the bumbling words. under all the noise, heizou’s chuckle is clear as day when he caresses xiao’s face, and xiao feels his face go hot as the hand travels down his body. “you’re already putting on a pretty convincing act for the both of us.”

“it’s hard not to when you show up looking as gorgeous as you did.” heizou leans closer, the puffs of breath hitting xiao’s lips as their faces remain inches away. their bodies sway to the rhythm of the music, xiao’s elevated heart rate pounding with the bass boosted beats. beads of sweat stick to his head from the heat being pressed to heizou’s chest, and that only spreads like a wildfire with every touch heizou drags across his body.

“is that why you’ve kept staring at me since we met at the teashop?”

“i thought i was being subtle.” their noses bump and xiao looks up into heizou’s heated, emerald green eyes. “i just thought you looked really good. still do.”

“what a flirt.” xiao laughs breathlessly. his body is burning up the longer they linger in this hold, with heizou’s hands now on his waist and xiao’s arms looped around his neck. as they dance, xiao’s thigh accidentally grazes against the front of heizou’s jeans and heizou groans loud enough for xiao’s mind to instantly drown out the shitty pop music echoing through the club. “sorry, did i hurt you?”

“no! it’s fine!” xiao’s pupils go wide at watching heizou’s face flush in real time. “that just felt good. you— you can keep going.”

xiao carefully observes heizou as his thigh moves more purposefully against him, and he lazily smirks when heizou stifles a breath by hiding his face in xiao’s neck. this way, they must really look like two random, drunken lovers to any onlookers— hopefully kazuha included.

one particularly hard grind causes heizou to lean back and hold xiao’s face in his hands; his face is burning red and he’s wincing, and xiao thinks maybe he went a little too far with their little charade. “xiao, if you keep going…”

“sorry. i’ll stop.” xiao’s head spins and he’s reminded of all the alcohol he drank less than twenty minutes ago. “i think i want to go home. my head hurts.”

heizou takes a deep breath, then he brings xiao and himself back into an upright position. “alright. let’s head back.”

xiao’s sure he looks like a mess as heizou strings him along out of the establishment, but he can’t find himself to care when he feels like he’s on the verge of throwing up his dinner as he slumps into the passenger seat of heizou’s rented car. regardless, xiao still has some dignity leftover in his tipsy state, even though most of it has been thrown out after shamelessly grinding on heizou back in the club. 

his eyes close shut and the situation sinks into his mind as their time at the club flashes through his mind. throwing himself onto heizou shouldn’t have been the first plan he had when he saw kazuha there, yet a tiny part of himself revels in the feeling of confidently dancing in the heart of the dancefloor. heizou went along with his dumpster fire of a plan, and it felt hot enough that xiao derived enough fun to go home somewhat satisfied.

by the time they arrive in the parking lot of the dorm, xiao has sobered up enough to haul himself out of the car. “i can walk myself back to my dorm.”

“you look like you’re about to keel over and die.” heizou shakes his head. “at least let me walk you back.”

and that’s how xiao finds himself walking back to his dorm room, heizou by his side to steady him each time he lurches forward. his head heavily lolls around as he pats his pockets for his keys, and once he manages to unlock his room, he breathes a sigh of relief.

the alcohol has simmered out and left him with a headache, still, xiao turns to face heizou with a small smile. “thanks for helping me out just now.”

“it’s fine, i had fun. i’ve never seen you that way before.” heizou chuckles. his smile is bright in the dim hallways of the dorm room, infectious enough for his own smile to grow.

xiao rolls his eyes and huffs a quiet breath. “nobody has seen me like that. i told you, i don’t go to clubs or parties. but i had fun, too. it’s thanks to you.”

“i’m glad.” heizou grins, then he’s moving to step out of the door frame. “i’m leaving in a couple days, so this was a brilliant way to end my trip.”

xiao doesn’t think he’ll ever have a repeat of clubbing ever again, but for a moment, he had fun enough for his worrywart of a head to quiet down for a bit. heizou indulged in his request and was a great dancer, he’s also hot— xiao wouldn’t mind hanging out with him in the near future. 

“when will you be visiting again?”

“i’m not sure, i’d have to ask. it’ll probably be after the minor league games in inazuma, though. it’s going to take a few months, so—”

in the spur of the moment, xiao reaches up to pull heizou down by the collar, face flushing. it’s not like they’re never seeing each other again, but after tonight, there has been a want simmering in his veins to overwhelm the hurt of seeing kazuha again.

heizou steadies himself by bracing his hands on xiao’s door and he’s in mild surprise as they stare at each other. “uh, xiao?”

xiao has fooled around with a couple people before just for the thrill of it, but here, looking up at someone he’s known back from highschool, xiao’s words are nearly garbled as he asks: “do you want to stay the night?”

heizou’s breaths grow heavier and xiao’s mouth goes dry when one of his hands lifts up his chin. “are you still drunk? i don’t want to do anything you’ll regret.”

“practically sobered up in the car. i just have a headache, but other than that i’m sure.” his hands cradles heizou’s face as he says, pleading, “heizou. please.”

xiao gasps against heizou’s lips once heizou leans into his space, and he fumbles around for his door knob to pull heizou inside his room. the taste of heizou feels hot and heavy on his tongue as they tear their clothes off each other, and xiao can’t help the moans that fall from his mouth when heizou palms his ass through his pants. it’s invigorating to feel the bursts of ecstasy flood his veins after the amount of stress he’s had throughout the week and in the nightclub, so he allows heizou to push him down onto his bed, grinning up at heizou through his quiet panting.

heizou slides down xiao’s body with an amused smile, and time blurs into blazing sheets of molten pleasure crashing over him in numerous waves, leaving him blissfully sated by the end of the night.

he only lets heizou snuggle into the crevice of his neck, after chiding him into cleaning them both up, and at least for now, xiao feels happy enough to silently off into a long, dreamless sleep.

whilst leaving a particularly difficult game that tianheng nearly loses, gaming sends a tabloid cover spread into the group chat that only just worsens his day. it’s been an annoyingly hectic two months ever since xiao saw kazuha at that nightclub, but clearly, he was right to suspect something was going on as he presently glares a hole straight through his phone.

‘a steamy night at the people of spring’s hot springs?!: leaked pictures of baseball star kaedehara kazuha cozying up with possible boyfriend, kunikuzushi!’

it’s one of several shitty headlines he’s seen over the course of the day, 

chongyun beats him to the punch and sends a text while he’s in the middle of typing. ‘team meeting at my place tonight? xingqiu’s in town, so we could meet up at a short notice.’

he returns back to his dorm, ready to shower off the grime and dirt from the day— only to find heizou dozing off on his bed. in the dim light of the sunset, it’s a tranquil scene; he looks relaxed despite the visible circles under his eyes, and xiao cracks a smile as he sneaks in a picture.

careful not to disturb him, xiao places his bag on the ground and rifles through his wardrobe for comfortable clothes. as he pulls his favorite red sweater from its hanger, he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a warm body resting against his back.

“i thought you weren’t coming back for a while?” xiao murmurs, placing the hanger back into its spot in the wardrobe. “you just visited two weeks ago.”

“photoshoot. got an excuse to come.” heizou says groggily, muffled by xiao’s uniform. he presses a kiss to xiao’s nape and a shiver travels down his spine. “missed you.”

xiao clicks his tongue in distaste. “heizou. i just came back from a game. i need to shower.”

“we can shower together.” heizou kisses up the side of his neck and nibbles on xiao’s ear. xiao draws in a shaky breath and nearly drops a hanger onto his foot when heizou purposefully grinds against him as he lightly bites a mark below xiao’s jaw.

their proposition goes like this: if heizou’s in town for whatever reason, they’ll hang out and heizou will train with xiao to help him with his pitching strength. and if they’re both up to it, xiao wouldn’t mind hooking up with him— it’s all just de-stressing from xiao’s studies and heizou’s job. it’s fun and harmless, and on the plus side, heizou doesn’t visit liyue so often that it becomes a regular enough occurrence to freak xiao out into avoiding heizou altogether.

“did— did you see that article about—” xiao’s breath stutters as heizou’s teeth run over the fresh mark.

heizou grumbles and more purposefully rubs against xiao’s back. “i did. do you want to leave marks on me like that, too?”

“i’m fine with you leaving marks,” xiao laughs as he cocks his head to the side to allow heizou to mouth up his jaw, “but if i did it, you and i both know it wouldn’t do wonders for your career.”

the moment xiao has all his clothes, heizou flips him around against the wardrobe door, leaning down to kiss him. it’s an awkward stumble of feet to get to the bathroom, but they manage to get there without knocking any of xiao’s expensive skincare products off the sink. 

this time around, they get more cleaning done than anything else, giving xiao enough time to dry his hair. there’s a few finger-shaped bruises forming on his thighs and hips, but the real problem is the large hickey heizou left on his jaw. xiao doesn’t hide the scathing glare he sends to heizou through the mirror’s reflection. 

unabashedly, heizou smugly grins right back at him. “you could just say you fell.”

“because gaming definitely didn’t see me leave the field mark free.” xiao deadpans, brushing the knots out of his hair.

“you could’ve fallen at any time after the match!” heizou shoots back. he checks his watch and subsequently widens his eyes in surprise. “it’s getting pretty late. are you sure you want to take the bus? i could drive you.”

xiao pretends to mull over the offer, even though he knows he’d never pass up the offer of getting driven versus walking the twenty minute walk to chongyun’s place. he puts down his brush and turns to heizou with a nonchalant shrug. “if you’re offering, sure.”

it doesn’t take long for the car to arrive on the curb of chongyun’s apartment building.

“i had fun showering.” heizou says with a smirk, unlocking the doors of the car. “i’ll see you later.”

“nobody says that, you idiot.” xiao seethes. as heizou leans over to steal a kiss, xiao shooes him away with a laugh. “see you.”

heizou leaves a lingering look on him, before he grins and drives away.

the apartment building that chongyun lives in is a nice part of the town. chongyun has been playing in multiple winning matches to begin receiving better pay, which means he gets to leave his overbearing family and move out to live on his own. 

well, living alone is a stretch. when xiao rings the doorbell, gaming opens the door with a beam and lets him in.

upon entering, from the numerous flashy sports shoes and red articles of clothing strewn across the floor, it’s clear that gaming has basically moved in with him.

man chai included.

the black cat weaves around xiao’s legs while he sets down the takeout bag of fried noodles on the table that he picked up along the way at heizou’s insistence, because ‘movie night isn’t complete without food!’.

“food!” gaming claps, digging his hands into the bag to check the contents of the containers. 

“i’m not sure if man chai likes me or if he just wants our food.” xiao says as he bends down to let man chai curiously sniff his hand. the cat knocks his head forward against xiao’s hand and his heart melts at the sight.

“i keep saying that he likes you, but you never believe me!” gaming retrieves a pair of metal chopsticks and takes a box with him. “i’m starving, thanks!”

“a-ming? is that xiao?” chongyun steps into the hallway and comes over to where they were sitting at the dining table. “oh, food? that’s rare.”

“someone was being insistent.” xiao shrugs and hands chongyun his noodles.

“it’s no wonder you walked in here looking like you got caught up in a cyclone.” chongyun and gaming snicker together at the table like a pair of gossiping aunties, matching devious smirks on their faces.

xiao subconsciously covers the mark with his hand and shoots them a glare. “think whatever you want.”

it’s a grueling fifteen minute wait with all of the pair’s teasing, xingqiu takes his sweet time to make his appearance at chongyun’s doorway and finally arrives the moment they all finish their food.

the hickey on xiao’s jaw is the first thing xingqiu zeroes in on when he enters the apartment. “caught up in a cyclone, were you?”

“that’s what i said!” chongyun doubles over in laughter into gaming’s lap, and xiao can only warily shake his head in response.

“as long as xiao’s having fun!” xingqiu sings as he toes his shoes off at the entrance. he picks up his noodles and saunters off to the living room, while xiao stays behind with gaming to clean up the mess. well, until gaming goes to microwave a bag of popcorn.

“just so you know, that cyclone bought all the food i brought today!” xiao calls out, before grumbling as he dumps all the trash into the bin. man chai slowly blinks up at him from where he’s seated next to the bin, and xiao’s frown melts away into a smile. “at least i have you, man chai.”

their team meeting commences once they’re all gathered on the couch, a lame action movie only gaming is paying attention to plays in the background. xingqiu pulls up the tabloid article on his tablet for them to see and the sinking feeling prickles into xiao’s skin. it’s a different article from the one gaming sent earlier in the day, the first article of many that spilled out speculating on kazuha and kunikuzushi’s relationship.

“from what i gathered, this outing was the starting point for all the rumors. kaedehara was spotted at the nightclub xiao was at, and whoever saw him took pictures of him and kunikuzushi together.” xingqiu says as he scrolls down the article. despite the brightened filter over the several pictures linked on the article, it’s difficult to see anything other than the pair huddled close. 

xiao and chongyun nod, and xingqiu continues. “next, that’s when more articles about them get released, like about their time together at narukami or leaked pictures like the one gaming sent earlier today.”

“i thought kunikuzushi’s mother or ganoderma would’ve shot all the rumors down by now?” chongyun asks.

“neither party has made a single comment on the matter. it’s most likely due to the amount of publicity this is giving them both,” xingqiu says as a matter of factly, then proceeds to hold up both his hands to make his following point. “on one hand, due to kaedehara’s popularity, more of his fans are bound to start following kunikuzushi out of a parasocial desire. on the other hand, ganoderma gets more press releases about them, thus more people would be paying attention to his team, which leads to an increase in ticket sales for their games. it’s a possible win-win.”

“i’m not surprised if that was the case…” xiao mutters warily. given the media’s obsession over kazuha and narukami predating back during their final spring nationals match, it’s unsurprising to see them thirst after any droplet of newsworthy information about him that they can get their grimy hands on. it came with the fame kazuha had, and yet no matter how much xiao dislikes seeing them together, it must be terrible for the pair’s breach in privacy with every leaked picture published front and center on the cover of some trashy tabloid.

“anyway, it’s nothing i’d worry about, xiao.” xingqiu shuts his tablet off with a click and sinks back into the couch. “for all we know, it could be a publicity stunt. kunikuzushi’s mother could be preparing him for his debut in a new team, or perhaps they just really have bad luck and bump into people whenever they’re together.”

“and xiao has a cyclone now!” gaming chimes in, grinning smugly.

“i’m not sure how he’s related to any of this.” chongyun glances back at xiao with a wary look. “besides that, you’d better be careful, xiao. while players in the minor league don’t receive the same amount of coverage as the major players do, shikanoin’s team has been recently rising in the ranks. given his skill, he might be recruited to join a major league team soon.”

“i know, i’ll be alright. trust me.” xiao pats chongyun’s arm with a huff. chongyun isn’t wrong, heizou has been receiving a few high end brand deal offers— including the expensive watch he wore— which has given him an excuse to travel to liyue during the game season. it’s only a matter of time until heizou gets a spot next to the big leagues and is walking down the red carpet for the newest product release of whatever luxury brand snatches him up first.

be it as it may, besides xiao’s dorm room, they’ve never done anything as risky as their stunt at the nightclub. perhaps it was by luck that instead of them, kazuha became the unsuspecting victim plastered all over the news. xiao’s not particularly interested in ending up on the front page of a cover and having his laundry aired out for the entire world to see, anyway.

it didn’t stop his friends from becoming concerned with xiao’s little arrangement, especially when considering the well known fact that kazuha and heizou are friends. it took some convincing on xiao’s end that he’d never pull a stunt to jeopardize heizou’s career at the cost of his own. still, he knows they mean well after the disastrous breakdown xiao had at the end of their third year.

“i know… but i’m also worried in the sense that maybe he told kaedehara—”

“if he does, it’s not like kazuha would do anything about it. if he has kunikuzushi, then it doesn’t matter.” xiao says, a bitter taste on his lips as he spits those words out. “ it’ll be okay, chongyun. don’t worry about me.”

chongyun looks at xiao with one last frown, before nodding. “... alright.”

xingqiu clasps his hands together with a smile. “great, let’s watch the movie now!”

they turn to the tv and only find the end credits playing.

“uh, it’s been over for a good while now, guys.” gaming pipes up. he’s finished his entire bowl of popcorn, too.

“it’s alright, let’s just wait for the next one to play.” xiao says, allowing his body to relax against the soft cushions of the couch. man chai trots over and lies in between chongyun and xiao’s legs while gaming skips to the next movie— before an ad starts to play on the tv, the obnoxiously loud pop music blaring through the speakers.

xingqiu grimaces and covers his ears. “i thought we were watching on netflix? why are we watching a movie on youtube?”

“oh, shoot, it’s because i forgot to update the billing information… let me do it right now.”

gaming startles everyone with a shout. “woah, guys! it’s kaedehara! he’s on the ad!”

on screen, kazuha shows up in a loose tank top that shows off his biceps and xiao swallows dryly at the sight. the world is definitely out to get him. a montage plays of kazuha working out and running on a track field, in between close up shots of his clear face and arms flexing. a heat slowly simmers in xiao’s gut with every shot and it spreads like fire across his entire body as a shot of the fabric of kazuha’s jersey rides up his stomach, the camera panning down to show the beads of sweat sliding down the defined muscle as kazuha wipes his face with the hem of his shirt.

xiao would kill for a taste— the scene subsequently hard cuts to a shot of kazuha tossing his head back to gulp down a can of some drink. as he’s brushing out the bangs from his eyes, a sound just as loud blasts from xingqiu’s phone, striking through the already awkward air: “everything we know so far about baseball stars kaedehara kazuha and kunikuzushi’s relationship, a timeline from narukami high to present!”

xingqiu fumbles with the volume buttons on his phone as they stare at him with boggled out eyes. “uh, i was doing some research…”

annoyance swirls in xiao’s head, and he’s pulling out his phone to impulsively write up a message. ‘can you come pick me up?’

less than ten minutes later, xiao’s phone lights up with a single text and xiao’s yelling out a lame excuse to his friends about needing to study while he’s slipping on his shoes at the front door.

the maroon car honks at xiao the moment he’s in view, and xiao hurries to jump inside the passenger seat in record time. heizou makes a lighthearted comment about his impatience as they drive back to xiao’s dorm, but it’s drowned out by xiao’s mind spinning with the realization that another person gets to drag his hands down kazuha’s toned stomach and feel the defined muscle there.

heizou walks with him back to his dorm room as usual, but before he can say his goodbyes, xiao pulls him down for a bruising kiss. instantly, heizou kisses him back and grabs at the handle of xiao’s door to push them inside, flipping him against the door’s hard surface as it locks shut.

heizou pulls aside the collar of xiao’s sweater to mouth at his collarbone, and xiao can only paw at heizou’s back while desperately pleading with him to get on with it. huffing a laugh against his skin, heizou pulls back to amusedly grin at him. “you’re eager tonight. i didn’t know i’d get to feel you again today; was the shower not enough?”

“someone just really pissed me off.” xiao murmurs through quiet pants when heizou firmly grabs his thigh to hook it over his waist. the friction is dizzyingly good, his entire body feels like it’s been lit aflame. it’s almost good enough to briefly blank out his thoughts of kazuha lingering in the back of his mind.

“then allow me,” heizou holds his chin up and swallows his moans with a kiss that threatens to scorch xiao from the inside out, “to help you forget.”

it’s not xiao’s greatest idea to use their hookups as a means to drown out his thoughts, but as long as it’s a quick fix to his stress and troubles, xiao hopes heizou wouldn’t mind indulging in him for a bit longer. their arrangement isn’t an everlasting thing, heizou is bound to find someone he’ll fall in love with and xiao will focus on his career once he gets into the big leagues. in the meantime, xiao allows their rendezvous to blur the rest of the world, melting into the ignited touch of heizou on his skin.

they continue to sporadically meet in between xiao’s matches and heizou’s busy schedule, and their meetings begin to rack up in numbers when the tournament season begins and tianheng manages to reach the semifinals of teyvat’s national college baseball league held in natlan.

winning nationals is a top priority in xiao’s list, but he’s not as hell bent on winning as he did as a highschooler. it’ll just be an addition to the long list of achievements he’s earned for himself through years of hard work— but it’d be nice to win nationals a couple more times.

familiar faces show up from different regions, like captain kaeya and centerfielder jean back from windblume or narukami’s cat-like shortstop; it’s almost nostalgic to think back on their matches until the bittersweet memory of their third year loss crashes down in the midst of his reminiscing.

nevertheless, today’s match is another one where xiao falls victim to his own anxiety and worries each time he makes a wrong call up on the mound. yanfei encourages him all the same by calling for less riskier pitches when there’s a hiccup in his pitching, but it doesn’t do anything to stress him out any less. these bursts of anxiety don't happen all that often anymore, emotions don’t override xiao’s mind easily as they used to as a teenager and so, he’s level headed enough to remain on his best behavior until he closes out the game. xiao ensures their win in the first half of the semifinals, but any semblance of his cool composure breaks once he’s in his hotel room.

thankfully, his room has a shower large enough for him to sit down and stare at the wall until he comes back to himself.

he takes a pleasantly long hot shower that is sure to rack up a large water bill if he did it in his family home, taking his time to bask in the feeling of the cascading water crashing down on him like a thunderstorm. in addition, the towels are fluffy clouds, the soap has a heavenly scent; xiao is thankful that their university has an extraordinarily impressive funding to provide their sports faculty with a high budget for their accommodations.

“it’s also because you’re here on a really good scholarship, gege.” ganyu drones through his phone speaker from where it sits against a pillow on his bed. their universities didn’t meet during the qualifying regionals and she’s currently complaining about xiao’s ‘luxurious’ hotel room. “i really do envy you…”

“after i go pro, i’ll make sure to get you and papa nice hotel rooms when you come to watch my games.” xiao muses, patting his hair dry. he turns back to look at the video call on his phone and fondly smiles at ganyu’s resounding pout.

“speaking of papa! he’s been dropping not so subtle hints that he misses you and has been waiting for a call.” ganyu clicks her tongue and wags a finger at him. “just how busy have you been?”

“enough to forget to call home.” xiao grumbles. “i’ll call him later, mei. i’ve been going through a lot lately.”

“don’t let spring nationals happen again! you could’ve fallen really ill back then…i don’t want another repeat of that.”

guilt pangs through him and he exhales, shaking his head at the screen. “it won’t happen. gege promises.”

ganyu smiles and nods. “okay. i trust you. anyway, what about the contacts you’ve made at that party? it’s been like, what, four months, and i still don't even know which club you went to that night!”

as much as xiao wanted to avoid telling his little sister of what went down that night, he had to make up a lie about coming home wasted and falling asleep right after failing to text her. they haven’t had a proper call in a few weeks, and ganyu knows he has ample time to explain himself at this moment since his next match won’t come in a couple days.

“it was a club in the city, the one next to that casino—”

“the club that kaedehara gege and kunikuzushi was pictured at?” of course ganyu would know about it. “you were there?”

xiao sharply breathes in a breath of air and releases it with a heavy sigh. “same one.”

“did you talk to him?”

“no.”

ganyu presses her lips into a thin line. “oh. well, i guess it’s understandable. but you know, i feel like they’re not actually… together?”

“here we go.” xiao says with a groan and face plants on his bed. “i’ve had enough with these conspiracy theories.”

“okay, but hear me out! kaedehara gege doesn’t look as happy as he used to back in highschool. i mean, he’s smiling all the time, but i’ve been watching his matches to take notes for my batting and well…” ganyu chews the tip of her finger in thought, “i don’t know. it just looks strained, like he’s not actually happy.”

“not my circus, not my monkeys.” xiao muffles from where he’s face planted on the comforter. he lifts up to see ganyu’s unconvinced, questioning look. “what?”

“i know you can see it, too. you watch his variety show clips on youtube and his matches on the tv from time to time.”

“no i don’t.” xiao scoffs, rolling his eyes. he sneaks a glimpse of ganyu’s face and she’s still unconvinced. “fine! maybe i do, but it’s none of my business. we’re no longer friends and what he decides to do with his life is not something i can just speak on.”

“fine, but i know you’re annoyed by his so-called ‘relationship’.” ganyu says, doing air quotes with her fingers. “and knowing you, you’re probably bottling up your feelings and distracting yourself through other means!”

xiao’s brain instantly conjures up his hookups with heizou and his cheeks flush at the reminder. he uses his best deadpan voice and the blankest look on his face to say: “i’m not.”

ganyu just stares at him, nose wrinkled and eyebrows scrunched. it goes on long enough that xiao goes to chew his lip out of habit, which leads to an immediate: “oh. oh! you totally are!” ganyu begins yelling and she points an accusatory finger at him. “what are you doing! is it studying yourself to death again, or are you spending twelve hours pitching in the field?!”

xiao covers his face with his hands and groans out of humiliation. she clocked in the conclusion quicker than he expected her to— not that xiao was even planning on talking about his arrangement. “it’s not anything bad, i promise.”

“okay, then you would have absolutely no problem with telling me what you’ve been doing!” ganyu punctuates her argument with a cross of her arms and a perfectly arched eyebrow. “so?”

it’s absolutely mortifying to explain his friends with benefits situation to anyone, let alone to his little sister. he knows ganyu isn’t twelve anymore, she’s grown up into a capable almost twenty year old young adult— but she’ll never not be his adorable baby sister. now she’s here, calling out his stupid decisions and making him face them head on. she’s grown up well.

“do you remember how i told you shikanoin drove me home?” xiao begins to tread across the line, carefully watching ganyu’s face. she nods, so he continues. “well, that night, we ended up sleeping together. you can understand what happened after.”

“you’re coping with your problems by having sex with shikanoin?” ganyu echoes, her mouth open in a daze.

“ganyu!”

“i mean he is attractive, i guess? but i always thought kaedehara ge—”

“ganyu, enough!” xiao wails, hiding his face in a pillow. his ears are burning hotly from the shame, xiao wants to crawl into a hole and never come back up.

“gege, you’re… you’re insanely messy.” ganyu’s voice drops to a sudden whisper and she looks around as if they could get caught talking about this. “isn’t shikanoin still friends with kaedehara gege?”

“he told me that kazuha doesn’t know.” xiao protests, attempting to protect whatever is left of his dignity. “does it even matter if kazuha knows? i told you, we’re not friends anymore.”

ganyu opens her mouth to argue before faltering, her mouth closing shut. “right. but still, i don’t think this whole arrangement helps you with your problem. instead of accepting the fact that it’s totally okay to be mad over kaedehara gege’s actions, you decide to sleep with his friend!”

“it sounds terrible when you put it like that. we’re just hooking up for fun… you know, de-stressing!”

“maybe it’s fun for him, but is it fun for you?” ganyu challenges, narrowing her eyes.

truth be told, xiao does think it’s fun… to an extent. he’s sated enough to keep sleeping with him whenever he feels like the stress gets to him— only that most of the stress really derives from constantly getting kazuha’s relationship with kunikuzushi thrown at his face. whenever he come across a shitty magazine about the hints kazuha has dropped about his relationship, xiao gets the overwhelming urge to pitch until his arm breaks off, and if heizou was in town, they’d fuck it out of his system.

it’s now that the conclusion settles in a pit of dread within him: xiao never properly moved on and instead of handling it in a regular, healthy way, he’s been hooking up with heizou when a smidgen of grief gets to him.

through his silence and the grim look on his face, ganyu continues with her questioning. “does he know that you’re just with him to cope with your unfinished business with kaedehara gege?”

“of course not.” xiao mumbles, hugging the pillow. “i don’t know what to do.”

“i think you should just be honest with him. he deserves that much.”

xiao really is despicable. “i’ll do it the next time i see him. gege is pretty stupid.”

“don’t beat yourself up. i know you’ve made a lot of mistakes, but you’re a really good person too. to me, xiao gege will be the best person i’ll ever know.” ganyu gently smiles, with the same sparkles in her eyes she’s always had as a little kid. he misses her terribly.

“thanks, meimei.” xiao sniffles, hugging the pillow tighter. “if you were here, i would’ve started bawling my eyes out.”

“hey! at least that’s a start, you never used to cry in front of me. you were always acting so big and strong.” ganyu giggles. “in all seriousness, gege, when i come to watch the finals, papa and i will give you the biggest hug yet!”

xiao draws in a watery breath before softly laughing along with her. “i can’t wait till then.”

“me too. also, do you want to hear about my latest report? i added in the comments you told me to!”

“of course, mei.” xiao smiles down at his phone screen, and lets ganyu yap away about her research findings. he’s not sure how she finds him to be the greatest after all he’s done, but the best thing xiao can do for her is to keep his head high and never let her down. he’ll stop his arrangement with heizou, and he’ll have a long talk with his father to find better coping mechanisms. 

without his family, xiao doesn’t even want to think what kind of path he would be treading on today.

regardless, xiao toughens it out on the mound the day after to finish the second half of the semifinals. the thought of the arrangement coming to an end weighs heavy on his mind right before the match and he ponders over a hundred ways to break the news to heizou. it shouldn’t be that difficult and heizou would probably take it well since their relationship never amounted to anything more past being friends who fuck every once in awhile, right?

there’s absolutely nothing romantic in how xiao sees heizou. xiao can’t afford to fall in love again.

he needs a soak in the hot springs so bad.

slight regret in his actions loom over him like a tall tower when he’s on the mound, but unlike how he handles his feelings off the field, his emotions immediately fall flat as he focuses on his job. it’s easy to get into the swing of things when he begins to pitch, xiao channels all his stress and worries into motivation to win this semifinals match, because at least then he’ll have something to be happy about. 

his teammates notice that his hiccups from yesterday have dissipated and they shout encouragement into the midday sky, gaming hypes the crowd up and they chant xiao’s name as he winds up for each pitch. half the time, he can’t hear it from how much he zeroes in on yanfei’s mitt, but it’s exhilarating to come back to his senses and listen in to the roaring crowd.

with his excellent performance, xiao pitched a full match with little to no walks in every inning. it’s the closest he gets to a no hitter. they win and are qualified for the final match in a couple days, the news is a breath of fresh air to his burning lungs as the team walks back to the dugout. coach houzhang and the team’s belief in him, and the way crowds chanted and cheered, gives xiao absolute faith that even if they lose, these matches were worth something.

he walks with yanfei out of the field and into the stadium’s halls. some reporters ask him for notes and comments on the match, and xiao steels his nerves as he speaks straight at whatever camera they pointed at him. he’s not charming or an eloquent speaker by any means, but the reporters look satisfied enough with his commentary and leave him be with a smile on their faces.

“was that your first interview? you looked like you were gonna throw up.” yanfei laughs, lightly smacking him on the back. 

“it’s not, i’m just not used to it.” xiao grits with a glower.

“you’ll have to get used to it when you get signed onto a good pro league team.” yanfei says in a singsong tone. “i can see it already! ‘oh, xiao-xiansheng, can we interview you? you were sooo cool out there on the field when you pitched that screwball!’.”

xiao swats yanfei’s hand away with an amused roll of his eyes. “shut up, they don’t say things like that.”

“my, my, if it isn’t the nationally revered ace xiao and the brilliant catcher yanfei?” a new voice says to their right.

they both turn to look at the stranger and yanfei lights up like a firecracker. “and if it isn’t our super famous cyclone! who knew you had the time to come and watch our humble match today?”

“i won’t be here for the final match, so i thought i’d drop by and say hello.” heizou grins. he loops his arm over xiao’s shoulder and xiao stiffens at the immediate touch. “you guys did great out there. your pitching strength has considerably grown in the last few months, xiao, i’m impressed!”

“you did help with that.” xiao says, slightly smiling at heizou’s words. “thank you, heizou.”

“heizou has always been at the top of the fielding game at nationals, they were always talking about you and how you were the best.” yanfei adds with a smug look. “when are they going to recruit you for a pro league team?”

“i’ve had offers, but i’m still considering my options.” heizou shrugs. “i’ve read your last recommendation, by the way, and i’m dying for the next novel to come out.”

“i’ll text you the spin off to keep you entertained for now, i’ve got to get going. see you guys!”

they wave to yanfei until heizou turns his attention back to xiao. “have you tried going to the hot springs yet?”

“i haven’t had the time to try the one at my hotel. why?”

at heizou’s insistence (and also just to fulfill xiao’s earlier thoughts of the hot springs), they go to the hot springs in the hotel at dusk. at this time, there are a few other people milling in the showers and the pool, but there’s no point in paying attention to them when heizou pulls him into a corner far enough away.

the hot water in the springs cocoons him like a heated blanket, soothing every aching muscle in his body in the unending warmth. it’s not scalding enough to turn his skin bright red, just the right temperature for xiao to sink into the water with a pleased sigh.

as much as xiao wants to doze off in the water, the thoughts xiao wants to say out loud sitting uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach keep him awake. he’s relieved that heizou doesn’t try and pull anything while they’re soaking in the water, but the small talk about the day’s matches and heizou’s latest modeling work does not stop xiao’s mind from worrying over the potential outcome.

heizou’s eyes gleam with interest for xiao’s every reply, and he smiles with a tenderness that guilts xiao all the more into the urge of just blurting out the words there and then. heizou’s here earlier than he expected and threw off xiao’s initial plans to talk to him after his matches were over.

however, xiao won’t do it, not when there’s the possibility of someone hearing their words close by. chongyun’s warnings echo in his mind and xiao isn’t ready to face possibly public backlash right before the finals— he’s been withstanding everything thus far, but the thought of heizou and xiao’s fling cemented into both of their histories would, without a doubt, destroy his performance in a couple days.

he remains quiet when they wash up and when heizou walks xiao back to his hotel room, and xiao grabs his arm to pull him in before he could try leaving. at this point, heizou doesn’t flinch in surprise anymore and goes with him when xiao backs him to the foot of the bed. heizou sinks into the bed and sets his hands on xiao’s waist, his hands warm from the hot springs.

“are you not gonna drop down on—”

“heizou.” xiao presses his lips into a thin line and firmly shakes his head.

heizou puts his hands down. he runs a hand through his barely dried hair with a strained chuckle. “oh. so it’s over.”

xiao sucks in a sharp breath before sitting down next to him. “i don’t think we should do this anymore.”

“it’s cool, i saw it coming. guess i didn’t expect it to be this soon. are you going to call me shikanoin again?”

“no, i think we’re friends— wait, what do you mean you saw it coming?” xiao glances up to look at heizou. his shoulders are hunched over and there’s a somber look on his face, and xiao’s heart squeezes tightly at the sight.

the corner of his lips quirk up, a juxtaposition to the melancholic glaze over his eyes. “i know our relationship never meant anything to either of us… but i had the feeling that i can’t truly compete with kazuha, even if you both don’t talk anymore.”

in a flash, ice spreads across xiao’s entire body. “what?”

“i mean, you aren’t exactly subtle either.” heizou laughs with a shrug. there’s no humor in his voice and xiao bites his lip to quell the regret ebbing through him. “i realized that we only ever have sex around the time a new major article about him and kuni drops. i did consider the possibility in the beginning, but i didn’t truly believe it until i noticed the pattern.”

“i’m sorry, i never meant for it to be like that.” xiao whispers, his fingers beginning to fidget as his mind races to cautiously choose his words. “it was just fun for me in the beginning, i promise. but when everything about kazuha came out… i don’t know. i didn’t know how to cope with the news.”

“i mean, i never expected him to end up with kuni either. we don’t talk all that much and kazuha never mentioned it,” heizou looks up at the ceiling and shakes his head. “but i suppose i’ve been avoiding him. i’ve been a terrible friend, too.”

xiao’s mouth drops open at the revelation and he furrows his eyebrows. “when was the last time you spoke with him?”

“i didn’t completely stop talking to him, but we only have conversations that never amount to anything. pointless small talk that both he and i have profound hatred for, and yet we have them anyway.” heizou mutters with a sigh. “lately, he’s been looking like shit. i should’ve been there for him.”

“ganyu mentioned that too.” xiao adds, “the looking like shit part.”

“don’t bluff, you know him well enough to realize it too, right?” heizou turns and plants his arms beside xiao, his eyes narrowed. “you can’t say that you didn’t— kazuha may be good at hiding his feelings from the entire world now, but sometimes those cracks show and i know you can see right through them.”

“it’s none of my business.” xiao repeats the same answer he gave ganyu monotonically. they have nothing to do with each other anymore, it wouldn’t matter if xiao knew that kazuha was going through a horrible time. the gap in between them spans oceans and seas away, it’s a brewing storm that xiao refuses to cross.

heizou raises an eyebrow with a glare. “are you saying you’re over him?”

“what kazuha does is up to him. we’re not friends anymore, so there’s no point in trying anything.”

“do you dislike him?”

xiao falters for a moment, but he shakes himself out of the pause. “...yes.”

heizou sighs and frowns. “i never brought it up because i thought we’ve gone past it, but is this because of what happened at the spring finals?”

“what do you know about it?” xiao grits his teeth together, irritation rearing its ugly head.

“whatever argument the both of you had completely destroyed kazuha, that’s what.” heizou shoots back. “he never told any of us the details, but that was the first time i saw kazuha look so defeated.” 

xiao remembers how he had left kazuha amidst the barrage of reporters hurling themselves at him, the crestfallen look on his face as xiao walked away from the ruckus. “he lied to me. that’s all i’ll say.”

“did you ever stop to think that he did it for your sake?”

“he doesn’t need to!” xiao insists, clenching the sheets under his hands. “i don’t understand why he had to do that for me!”

heizou crosses his arms and levels him with a hardened stare. “frankly, you’re an idiot.”

xiao scoffs. “me?”

“don’t you realize that kazuha hosted that training camp just to meet you?”

“he what?” xiao parrots, dumbfounded. out of all the things they could talk about, he never expected their training camp to be brought up. in his grief, xiao hasn’t thought about their trip in a long time. the baseball kazuha got from him was lost in a sea of his belongings, their memories there are weighed down by the baggage of their fallout. it hurts too much to remember their time at the beach or the wishes they scribbled on the prayer plaques, and he’s adamant he’ll never touch the omamori ever again.

“you know, kazuha came to narukami and the only person he ever talked about was you.” heizou states point blank and the beginning of an ache stings xiao’s heart. “it was all about how much of an amazing pitcher you are, and there was never a day where kuni didn’t purposefully aim the ball directly at his head. then again, he never mentioned that you were liyuean, so our teammates and i were confused why he used to get so disappointed every time we had a practice match against a local school.”

xiao doesn’t say anything, so heizou continues. “in the beginning, our team never made it far in regionals. it upset kazuha a lot in our first year and we never knew why. one day, kuni found him watching your regionals match after one of our rougher games. he smacked kazuha in the head after he said he wanted to go to nationals just for you.”

a sharp pain twists itself in xiao’s chest. “oh.”

“even if kazuha was performing his very best and having fun, i could see that he never really cared about the outcome. it only mattered to him if the match would eventually lead to meeting you.” heizou’s eyes turn soft for a moment, before it hardens once more. “of course, as you know, it wasn’t easy. liyue and inazuma only have a handful of chances to go against each other each year, and whenever we did, you would be up against watatsumi technical.”

images of the pink haired ace come to mind and xiao’s finger snaps in recognition. “the inazuman representatives in the summer?” 

“that’s right. sangonomiya is a pain to deal with in the inazuman heat, we used to joke that she was blessed by a different kami to obliterate us. as a result, i suppose kazuha had enough and used the training camp as an excuse to finally see you.”

it makes sense. kazuha’s unwavering insistence on keeping xiao company on his walk back when the lights were broken, how he convinced xiao to sightsee the attractions around inazuma; out of all the guests, kazuha was almost always stuck next to him. it only took xiao almost the entire two weeks at the camp to realize he liked kazuha just as much.

“so…” xiao begins, heizou’s explanation stewing in his mind as the ultimate realization comes to fruition. “you’re saying that kazuha has always been doing things just to see me since the very beginning…?”

heizou finally cracks a grin. “exactly. i think you underestimate the lengths kazuha is willing to go to for someone he adores. i don’t know why kazuha messed up back in our final match together, but his hesitation makes sense. there was a lot of pressure on us after kuni’s mom blabbed about us on national television, and despite that, he was still thinking of you. if he was that hellbent on meeting once more, what was stopping him from throwing away his entire career just for you?”

‘i’ve told you time and time again that i only care about you, even if it meant i’d fail.’

perhaps, if xiao had stayed a moment longer in the entrance of nantianmen’s stadium all those years ago, it never would’ve turned out this way. if he had listened to kazuha’s words and understood why he lied and did everything that he did on the field, it wouldn’t have gotten this bad.

yet, xiao was prone to running from any problem that threatened his path to success, and on that very day, he’d been making rookie mistakes and all the wrong calls. the crumbling of his career happened right before his very eyes and it repeated in his head like a bad movie throughout the rest of the day. kazuha lying about his choice just added on to it and xiao blew up.

xiao swallows past a lump in his throat. “it doesn’t matter anymore. kazuha’s a figment of my past, and even if i screwed it up back then, it means nothing now.”

“after everything i said, are you really going to tell me that kazuha doesn’t matter to you anymore?” heizou groans, rubbing his hands over his face. he comes back up and sighs exasperatedly at xiao. “if you don't care about him anymore, why did we keep fucking to help you cope with his relationship? what did that have anything to do with kazuha?”

“fine, so maybe kazuha pissed me off real bad and i haven’t gotten over our fight yet, but that doesn’t mean i care about what he does now.”

“and even after that, you still call him by his given name?”

“it’s… just what i’m used to!” xiao blurts. nobody has ever asked him this before.

“you’ve confirmed my suspicion that you still watch his matches and variety shows earlier, and you still call him by his given name despite not speaking to him in three years. if you sincerely disliked him, you’d be jumping at the chance to call him anything but ‘kazuha’.”

“but—”

“if you never cared, it'd just be kaedehara, like how i was only ever shikanoin to you.” heizou finishes, frowning by the end of his tirade. xiao can’t look away from his unbreakable stare, if he bluffs, heizou’s bound to untangle the braids of lies and put him in his place. “didn’t you say you wouldn’t stop calling me by heizou because we’re friends? how is this any different with kazuha?”

“i… i can’t. kazuha’s in a place i can’t reach anymore. so many years have gone by for me to even fathom seeing him again. it hurts just thinking about it.” xiao says in defeat, digging his nails into his palm.

“you can still do it.” heizou grabs onto his shoulders and gazes upon him with a passionate ember burning in his eyes. it’s familiar, like kazuha’s own, and xiao can see why they’re friends. “if you make it past the finals and win the championship, it’ll add to your already impressive list of achievements. the talks about you in the pro circles have been endless lately, i’m sure you’ll be picked up for a pro team in record time.”

“i don’t think he wants to see me again.” xiao grumbles and pushes himself out of heizou’s grasp to fall back onto the bed.

“i’m not going to meddle in his business, so it’s up to you.” heizou says, before smiling at xiao. “but for what it’s worth, i think he’ll appreciate anything he can get from you. back then, he kept telling us that you were reading his texts even after the argument. he was still happy you didn’t have him blocked.”

“he really is an idiot…” xiao softly whispers, staring at the ceiling. an immense heaviness on xiao’s shoulders frees itself and he feels like he can breathe again, and the thought of how much kazuha cared about him washes over him in gentle waves.

“one that you care about.”

“...unfortunately.”

“you know, this interrogation and the efforts i’ve put into observing kazuha and you in the last few years has paid off. if i never became a baseball player, i think i would've tried becoming a detective.” heizou laughs, the tense atmosphere beginning to chip away.

xiao sits back up and snickers at the thought. “i can see it, detective shikanoin.”

after talking a bit more, they walk over to the door and xiao shifts his feet from side to side at the entrance. “thanks for talking to me. i’m sorry for how i handled things.”

“you should just get a journal instead of fucking some guy to cope with your problems.” heizou winks.

“especially if that some guy is friends with the subject of said problems.” xiao sighs.

“i’m starting to think that he might know, but we’ll see! good luck for tomorrow, you’re going to kill it out there.” heizou holds his arms out and xiao laughs as they go in for a hug. despite how things turned out, xiao knows he’s made a lifelong friend in heizou.

they part and when xiao is left alone, the day’s conversation sits with him. kazuha did so much to see him and xiao ended their friendship in one swift snip after blowing up. the journey ahead to reach him might be arduous, but xiao decides that giving it a go will give him something to aim for when he goes pro.

and thus, xiao needs to win the match ahead of him in two days. or at least, go above and beyond to make sure the whole world knows how serious he is about entering the professional league as a star player. nobody will know he’s doing half of it in the name of a man who may never think twice about him again, and xiao thinks it’s a risk he’s willing to take. if after everything, kazuha decides to do absolutely nothing with him, then at least xiao would be able to peacefully move on knowing he did everything he could.

its one day before the finals, and it's announced tianheng will be going against the sumeru representative. it dawns on him during the team briefing of the match that while xiao was caught up in his worries and breaking off the arrangement with heizou, he never bothered watching any of the matches in this season.

“—and while i’m sure their ace is no match for xiao here, it is best you all exercise caution when you go up against him.” the captain presses a button on his laptop to switch to the next slide, and the sight of kunikuzushi’s face almost makes xiao flinch. “kunikuzushi is known for his splitter, but from what i’ve seen, he’s been switching in a shuuto amongst his other well known pitches. any questions?”

in the midst of everything, xiao had almost forgotten that kunikuzushi was enrolled in a sumerian university. up until their near encounter in the club, kunikuzushi had been relatively quiet for xiao to hear close to nothing about him. naturally, there was the occasional news article when he’d be out with his mother, though it’d never been as consequential as any of his “steamy hot rendezvous” with kazuha.

“kuni’s mellowed out over the years, but i just know that the front page covers are not making him very happy.” heizou told him a few weeks ago, just a couple days after a new article of all the public photos of kazuha has of kunikuzushi on his instagram made headlines. “if anything, he’s likely dying to tell his mom to shut everything down. i doubt she’ll listen to him.”

a part of xiao wants to ask kunikuzushi on his true feelings on kazuha, to know if they really do have anything. but given their history, there’s no way kunikuzushi would even look in his direction unless he has to. it’d be best to leave him alone.

after the briefing has ended, the captain comes up to him. “you’ll have the entire team to back you up tomorrow. don’t strain yourself, alright?”

if xiao fucked it up once back then in highschool, he’ll never forgive himself for fucking it up now. xiao gives the captain a steadfast nod and goes off to practice in the bullpen.

his father and ganyu come to greet him once practice ends, traveling all the way to natlan to watch the final match. given ganyu’s worried face upon arrival, xiao knows he owes them a long conversation on his problems and feelings on everything, never mind how embarrassing it all is.

in the hotel cafe, xiao ends up spilling everything he did in the last few months (with minimal details) after ganyu kept prodding him in the arm with a straw. his father listens to the whole story with his eyes closed, sipping his tea in between. meanwhile, ganyu looks close to strangling him multiple times.

“—and so, i’ve learned that in these last few years, i may have been a bit stupid at times and made decisions due to my irrational thinking. i thought i was able to handle everything on my own.” xiao says, clasping his hands together as he waits for his family’s reaction. “i’m sorry.”

ganyu sits up and crosses her arms, narrowing her eyes. “so after all that, are you still convinced that kaedehara gege and kunikuzushi are together?”

“i… don’t exactly know. if kazuha tells me that they are, then i’ll leave them alone. i just… feel like i should apologize for everything i did.” xiao murmurs. “it’s the least i can do, knowing all the things kazuha did for me.”

“despite the tumultuous route you chose to take in this ordeal, i believe you’re on the path to doing the right thing.” his father finally speaks up, “and i trust that kaedehara will appreciate it just as much. i don’t think i know many people who spend their teenage years reaching someone they adore.”

“adore…?” xiao coughs and covers his face. “i don’t think he feels that way for me. i reacted pretty awfully and said some dumb things.”

“you must be stupid if you never saw the way he looked at you. i’ve been telling you all this time, kaedehara gege likes you!” he feels ganyu jab at his side a little more and he has to resist the temptation to pull her hair out in broad daylight.

“meimei, gege has a match tomorrow. maybe kill him afterwards?” zhongli chuckles softly, and ruffles their hair one after the other. for the rest of their stay in the cafe, xiao and ganyu sit in their chairs, huffing and puffing like children, while zhongli orders way more desserts than he can finish eating. they part when the sun melts into the horizon, his family hug him and wish him well for the finals.

the morning of the finals match is bright, with not a single cloud in the sky. there’s a new resolve burning bright within him that makes him step with pride as the teams enter the field, applause echoing in the large stadium. 

as all the players line up, he finds himself standing face to face with kunikuzushi. from the get go, kunikuzushi is glowering at him with the fury of a thousand suns, a deep furrow in his brows and his nose wrinkled in disgust. xiao stares with a blank look and suppresses the urge to glare right back.

they break away after the coin toss, and the teams jog to their respective positions, with the sumeru team batting first. he mulls over kunikuzushi’s angry face. maybe kazuha had told him everything xiao did.

the first innings started tremendously as well as they could when xiao got consecutive strikeouts and no runners. it’s nowhere near child’s play, but it’s not earned through sheer luck either. the sumeru team, however, fights back just as hard. with kunikuzushi on the mound, it’s almost as difficult to break through their defenses. he’s grown immensely since xiao last went against him, his splitter’s speed is quicker and breaks a lot closer to the plate; the difference in his fastballs is little and confuses their team more than ever.

the innings stretch out for longer than they should as runners begin to infiltrate the bases, though it’s nothing xiao can’t handle after years of diligent practice and discipline. kunikuzushi matches his pace as an ace, as expected from a player of his caliber, yet xiao still finds himself reveling in the fun of playing amongst such strong players.

in the bottom of the ninth, he’s batting against kunikuzushi. the captain and gaming are on base, and their game is nationally televised for teyvat to watch. kazuha might be watching somewhere, if kunikuzushi’s here. it’s not a thought he allowed to linger on his mind in fear of possibly breaking through his carefully put together composure, that he might get too distracted thinking about what kazuha possibly thought of him after all these years.

the sweat beading on his forehead slides down his temple, and xiao’s gloved hands tighten on the metal bat as he watches kunikuzushi begin to wind up.

kazuha may think he’s the worst of all time and perhaps he’s wishing ill for his team, in hopes that his pseudo-boyfriend strikes him out to win the league once and for all. it’s a thought that stings xiao’s pounding heart, but he’s not certain if kazuha remained as bitter as xiao did in these last few years.

kunikuzushi’s foot is raised as his entire body is pulled back. xiao narrows his gaze and remains steady on his feet, releasing an exhale.

regardless, xiao is going to make things right as much as kazuha will allow him to. he’ll go pro, and they’ll meet on the field as rivals, like their silly promise back under the falling sakura petals at the shrine. instead of an acrimonious meeting, he imagines standing under the overwhelming attention of kazuha’s beaming grin, of the subject of his unending praise.

kunikuzushi’s body snaps forward as the pitch flies— it’s his splitter, deadly velocity and all flying straight towards him— xiao readies his swing and hits it with his entire might before it breaks down at the plate. he stares up at the ball as he drops the bat, and watches it fly as his blood sings within his veins with adrenaline along with it. it lands on the edge of the outerfield, and from there the pressure of the game picks back up. 

for a split second, he imagines kazuha standing on home base, waving wildly at him. call him delusional, but it’s just the push he needs to sprint the rest of his way back home, right where he used to think it belonged. he’s covered in dirt and grime when he slides onto the home plate, hair haphazardly sticking up everywhere once he takes the helmet off. 

everyone watches the umpire with bated breaths.

“safe!”

university of tianheng wins the finals, making them the champions of the season’s college baseball league.

a hymn of chants and cheers break out in the stadium for the winning team, liyue’s national warm colors fluttering in the stands. xiao is helped onto his feet and he nearly stumbles, though it doesn’t matter when his team crowd around him to toss him into the air. xiao’s close to tearing up just from sheer joy, he brushes his bangs away to stare up at the thunderous applause blessed down upon them and sighs with relief at the outcome.

later, in the lockers as xiao collects his belongings, yun jin calls out to him. “someone wants to meet with you, xiao!”

xiao’s heart jumps as his thoughts fly onto a single person. 

outside, kunikuzushi stands there, the scowl is not as deep as it was on the field, but he looks mad nonetheless.

xiao looks around and finds nobody else loitering near the locker room. “did you want to meet with me?”

“yes, and i hope you’ll listen to me before running away. who knows when we’ll get to meet again.” kunikuzushi says with a glare. xiao raises an eyebrow and nods at him to continue. “i want to let you know that despite everything you did, he still thinks of you. never stopped, actually. don’t ask me why. i don’t know either. after all, we’re not together.”

xiao’s eyes widen and he stops breathing. “what?”

“i don’t want to meddle in anything. that’s it.” kunikuzushi inclines his head with a bow, and he turns to walk away. he makes a couple steps before turning to xiao, his face holds the barest hints of a smile. “you played well today, by the way. i can see why he thinks you’re the best.”

kunikuzushi leaves without turning back this time, his steps echoing down the hall until it dissipates into nothing. xiao blinks at the empty spot where kunikuzushi stood, mouth agape. they were never together?

he’s unmoving until yun jin waves a hand in front of xiao’s face. “xiao? what are you still doing here?”

“um, i was meeting with kunikuzushi?”

“kunikuzushi?” yun jin repeats with a deadpan. “the person who wanted to meet you is outside with coach houzhang.”

the natlanese stadium is a maze difficult to navigate, and xiao nearly gets lost until he’s pointed in the right direction of the supposed seating area coach houzhang was waiting at. more than anything, kunikuzushi’s surprise visit still remains on his mind. it was a shock to see him act so civilly after the way he viciously glared at him, and indubitably, the absolute grenade of a statement that is ‘he still thinks of you’ and ‘we’re not together’.

so those tabloids… really were just absolute nonsensical garbage. xiao face palms and groans inwardly. besides that, it’s irritating how quick kunikuzushi left and how he refused to say anything else. though, xiao supposes it was better than his initial expectations of getting their relationship shoved in his face.

xiao rounds the corner and finds himself standing in the middle of a large crowd of flashing cameras. amongst a circle of a few bodyguards, coach houzhang appears from the crowd of photographers and reporters, coach xianyun and a man with spiky hair and purple highlights he’s seen before—

“b-bosacius? the, the yakshas’ ace—” xiao’s words stumble over each other as his childhood idol stands there, smiles and all, next to his coaches.

“the one and only.” bosacius’s voice rumbles straight through xiao’s bones and he feels like he’s about to jump out of his skin in amazement. bosacius chuckles at xiao’s starstruck look and holds out a hand, which xiao shakes with his own trembling ones. 

coach houzhang chuckles and pats xiao’s back. “apologize for the surprise, xiao. he was insistent on meeting with you once the match ended.”

“one of the managers mentioned you, and i had to go see your match for myself! they weren’t lying when they said your pitching leaves batters stunned— that screwball in the last inning was remarkable!” bosacius releases his grip on xiao’s hands and beams at him. 

“bosacius kept pestering one about you once he caught wind of your previous enrollment at jueyun jian,” coach xianyun mutters with a sigh, before looking back at him with a fond smile. “but you have grown, young one. this one and coach houzhang is pleased with your exponential growth in skill and talent.”

“undoubtedly, coach xianyun produces some of the best players in the nation.” bosacius comments, nudging xiao with his elbow with a knowing look. “some of the best came right from jueyun jian, and i believe you’d fit right in, xiao!”

xiao’s entire world flips upside down at the drop of a hat. a few camera flashes go off and the ramblings of a reporter fires off in record speed. xiao points a shaky hand at himself, eyes blown wide. “me? with yakshas?”

“bosacius is retiring in a couple years, so one believes he’d be a great mentor to you while he’s still on the team.” coach houzhang adds.

“this one believes in your capabilities as well. it is natural for a talented player like you to fly high amongst the stars in this field.” coach xianyun smiles and gently pats at the stuck up hair on xiao’s head. “you can do it.”

“i…” xiao bites his lip, staring at their expectant faces. he’s only a few more steps away from meeting kazuha out on the field—

his phone starts ringing, and xiao excuses himself to take the call. “meimei?”

ganyu’s yelling in his ear instantly. “gege! check the article link i sent you, it’s important!”

xiao immediately opens the link and it leads him straight to a news article— noticeably, one from the steambird. it’s not a trashy tabloid take down of kazuha’s relationship with kunikuzushi or anything xiao had expected.

‘—kaedehara’s player representative commented saying that kaedehara and his team, inazuma’s ganoderma, have agreed to the termination of his contract for all future seasons. as of today, he will be taking a break from all baseball related activities until further notice. it is speculated that due to the press—’

as xiao keeps reading his stomach plummets. “kazuha’s… quitting baseball?”

his goal begins to crumble right in front of him like a poorly put together sandcastle, the waves of reality hitting in massive waves. was he stupid to think that it would’ve been this easy? with all the tabloids and harassment kazuha has been receiving in the last few months, he could understand why someone could break under the pressure. is he too late? is it truly over for them?

“give me a second, mei.” xiao hangs up and looks for heizou’s contact, dread crashing over him in stomach churning wave after wave as he waits for the call to connect.

“heizou! heizou, tell me, do you know anything about—”

heizou sighs on the other end, a heavy one that makes xiao’s fear worse. “i don’t know why he quit his team. all he said was he’s going to leave inazuma to travel for a while with his moms and to not contact him. i’m not sure what else there is to do other than wait.”

“oh.” xiao crumples over the wall and bites the inside of his cheek. the euphoria he felt diminishes into a gloom of disappointment in one fell swoop.

“hey, hey! don’t cry over this just yet!” heizou’s panicked voice comes, “listen to me! he said he isn’t quitting baseball entirely, he just needs a break from everything.”

“but…”

“he’ll be okay, trust me. if his moms are with him, then i’m sure he’ll be safe. it sounds worrying but honestly, it’s kind of in character for him. he’s always enjoyed traveling, i’m sure it’ll be good for him.”

winning the championship and getting recruited to join the yakshas is still worth it, isn’t it? it’s everything xiao worked hard for all his life to get. if kazuha decides to take a temporary break, then xiao will just have to continue working diligently at this pace to be the best version of himself once they meet again. the spark of hope rekindles its flame, and xiao puts a palm over where his heart beats to ground himself.

heizou’s voice comes filtering through the phone. “xiao? are you alright?”

“sorry for freaking out. i’ll be okay.” xiao murmurs, fisting his shirt. he pauses, before speaking up again in a quiet voice. “do you think… i’ll be able to meet him one day?”

“... you know i can’t answer that. but i’d like to believe you can. you’ve always been a strong-willed person. kazuha is bound to see it, too.”

xiao breathes a quiet, shaky laugh. “okay. i know what i have to do.”

he returns to his coaches and bosacius, his head held up high. this is the chance the gods have granted him to meet with kazuha on the field, and it’s right on the road that xiao has always wanted to reach as a child. being a star player is just within his reach, and if he can meet kazuha along the way, is there really anything to lose? with all the determination his will musters, xiao nods with a bright grin. “i accept.”

cameras go off and bosacius shouts a cheer. “awesome!”

standing there, watching as bosacius and coach houzhang work out the logistics of the rest of xiao’s academic term and his scouting, xiao mulls over what he must do in the future. in their past, regionals were the only hurdle in his way from meeting with kazuha out on the field. it had been unfathomable to think they’d spend their whole lives being rivals, hell, xiao never thought he would’ve fallen head first into the endless ocean that was kazuha’s admiration for him.

kazuha still thinks of him. unlike what xiao thought back then, despite his rise to stardom in the baseball world and in the adoring eyes of the rest of the world, kazuha still thinks of him. kazuha spent his years chasing after xiao, and now it is xiao’s turn to go right after him. it might take years, decades, but until he gets a sign that it is truly over between them, xiao won’t give up. not yet, not when it’s the least xiao could do.

xiao is not certain of what he can expect in the path awaiting him. it could be terrible, for all he knows, he might not make it either. but if he’s persisted this long even through the worst matches of his life, xiao will walk amidst this turbulent hurricane and reach his dream of becoming an ace pitcher in the professional league. then, with whatever light he finds at the end of the tunnel, xiao swears to be a guiding star signaling kazuha home.

Chapter Text

xiao is twenty three when he wholeheartedly bares his heart, rain battering down on him, for the only person he’s ever loved.

in yakshas, the all-star roster immediately took to him despite his initial silent nature upon joining. after his contract with a player representative was signed, bosacius wasted no time bringing him over to their gym near the nantianmen stadium, boasting about how he got to watch xiao’s pitching in real time. meanwhile, in an attempt to repress the fan in him, xiao remained stoic and introduced himself as calmly as he could muster. 

that composure broke after they suggested going for dinner after practicing together. he wasn’t an official player yet, not when the paperwork between the player representative and the team wasn't finished, still, they included him in all the conversations and told stories of their team. to be sitting with a team full of legends, xiao had been unable to stop himself from asking about all their strategies and plays, babbling about how much of a fan he was ever since he was a little kid and even brought out the hat his father bought that he didn’t plan on showing.

in the following days of the off season, xiao spends most of his time practicing at the gym with the team’s trainer. the regimen is harsher than anything xiao or his coaches have ever put himself through; core strength workouts, speed training and deadlifts leave him close to being drained before the afternoon sun has even reached its peak. regardless, it doesn’t dissuade xiao from running over to the bullpen each time the team splits between position players and pitchers.

bosacius and the starting catcher, indrias, showed him a few of the drill practices they perform, and they worked out a training routine that fits best with xiao’s list of pitches. xiao didn't shake or tremble when he threw his first two seamer into indrias’ mitt, he relied on his reflexes and let the ball fly to her with relative ease. despite the easy catch, indrias and bosacius shower him in praise, saying that he’d be a star in no time.

the other team members are no different. they respect his talent and strength all the same, though there’s no amount of deterring xiao’s embarrassed scowl can do each time they express encouragement or fondness over him.

it’s embarrassing to be coddled so much as their newest and youngest player, it’s not something he’s used to when joining new teams— the older players in his first year of highschool and university never liked him that much for making it onto the first string even after xiao showcased his abilities in a match. 

xiao pushes himself in practice matches the team holds once a week during spring training as the game season nears. he’s determined to pitch for at least five innings with little to no walks, and his motivation is spurred on each time a slugger hits his pitch with near composure.

“my highschool used to have an ace who was a southpaw, so i’ve had a lot of practice.” said one of the cleanup hitters, menogias, after securing a homerun from xiao’s changeup. he advised xiao on some of the better pitches to take down ‘southpaw killer’ batters and watched over his batting posture in the cages.

the fear of not obtaining a spot grips him when they near the end of the off season, an unfounded one once he lands a spot as one of the pitchers in the first string. xiao stood on his spot like a gaping fish after seeing his name on the roster, it isn’t a position he expected so soon after joining a few months back, but xiao accepted it with a small smile once his jersey fell into his awaiting hands. it’s perfect; the number seventeen and xiao’s name are sewed onto the fabric, the swirling patterns reminiscent of his jueyun jian jersey he still keeps in his drawer at home. a few tears may have escaped his eyes out of joy, and he will admit it in the name of all the blood, sweat and tears he put into this achievement.

xiao’s highschool friends and his family all come to watch his first official match. they post instagram stories to cheer him on and make their own banners that xiao spots fluttering in the wind upon entering the field. his teammates nudge him in amusement and xiao can only reply with fondness for his loved ones, their vigor is infectious and motivates him to perform his best.

instead of a new, shinier cap, xiao uses the old one he’s kept in as good of a condition as his younger self could, pride ebbing off him in waves as he’s called onto the mound. it’s the first time he’s used it in any sort of official match, be it in school or as a professional, and it certainly won’t be the last.

he watches his improvement come into fruition when he pulls off multiple strikeouts with very few walks, he breezes right through inning after inning and passes on the mound to the next pitcher with a nod of his cap. the announcers are reeling from his arrival, one of them commentating on how xiao’s pitches have changed vastly since highschool.

he’s on the vast and large field of his dreams, one he’s forever yearned to stand on; everything feels like it’s finally falling into place. it’s a fulfilling feeling, but a thought remains in the back of xiao’s head spanning the entire duration of the game, a tiny sliver of hope holding onto the chances of kazuha watching the match. 

if anyone watched and observed his post-match interviews, they’d notice how xiao speaks of his dreams of going against strong players with such intent, that perhaps he’s directly talking to someone he can’t reach just yet. it’s the only question xiao doesn’t flub and his stilted self returns whenever they switch the question over to his favorite players or childhood memories of playing baseball.

in spite of how xiao talked brazenly in his all seemingly dry glory on multiple interviews, it doesn’t take long for the brand endorsements and interviews with bigger outlets to come streaming in like a flood into his player representative’s email and landline. yelan complains of how all her communication methods are nearly swamped with all the deals, and she unceremoniously dumps half of it on xiao to pick all the ones he favors.

within the list, there’s a few star picks like the comfort sportswear zhongli bought xiao and ganyu in highschool and his favorite sports shoes brand. the one that really catches xiao’s eye is not because of its bright and flashy pictures or the amount of pay they’re offering him— it’s the same sports drink kazuha was an ambassador of before his break: dawn fit. kazuha’s on the promotional infographic they attached to the email, the image plastered on at the very bottom as he holds out the drink like it’s the best thing he’s ever drunk. 

as stupid as it may be, an ache grows in his heart as he gazes at the picture. it’s been a year since kazuha left and his absence is felt in the industry; nobody can live up to the talent gap kazuha left as the reigning champion of the best third baseman teyvat’s major league has ever seen.

after kunikuzushi gave his statement on the status of their relationship, it was only then that people really started realizing the width of the consequences all the articles and rumours had. his instagram has gone completely dead, his fans cry and grieve his absence on several social media sites: video edits with emotional music, viral posts berating the tabloids for ruining his mental health and numerous comments in his socials begging him to come back.

it’s a wonder to see kazuha’s impact on the lives of a vast majority of people, even if they never got into baseball. there’s been several video edits of kazuha cracking his teasing jokes in interviews, the silly inazuman variety shows he goes on to show off his cooking skills— xiao watches them until he’s tearing up at the end over some dumb clip of kazuha terribly acting out a ridiculous skit.

to say that xiao misses him is the understatement of the century.

heizou has shown him the postcards kazuha sends from whatever part of the continent he’s currently on, the sight of his familiar scrawl on cards of extravagant monuments and horizons turns the dull ache into a numbing pain. xiao knows he won’t ever receive one, however it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

there’s nothing stopping him from pressing the call button in an attempt to reconnect except xiao’s stubborn insistence that he works better conveying how he feels on the field.

adding to the injury, it’s gotten bad enough that xiao finally mustered up the courage to scroll through their old text conversations. they’re close to half a decade old, xiao’s heart threatens to shatter into a million pieces as he reads back on how endearing kazuha was with his words of encouragement and ridiculous selfies post-fielding practice. once, the emotions overwhelmed him mid-scroll, his teardrops splattering all over his lit phone screen, turning his vision into a blurry mess as he stares down at the picture he took of kazuha in sumeru.

putting it simply, if xiao had all the time in the world, he too would be posting countless edits from some burner account to profess his adoration under the guise of a devout fan.

he blames everything on his sentimentality when he calls yelan with his final pick of brands and interviews he’ll agree to, the sports drink included. yelan’s approval quickly comes a few days later, xiao’s set to go for interviews and his brand shoots towards the end of the season, giving him ample time to brush up on less-stilted sounding interview answers.

mid game season, xiao’s notoriety rises as yakshas move up in the ranks of the major league. if he’s spending his off days in between matches with friends or ganyu, there’s a fifty percent chance he’s recognized and chased down by a fan. he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to being pulled to the side by a stranger and having to apologetically refuse a photo for his own privacy. it’s uncomfortable watching their faces fall and having to satisfy them with an autograph, xingqiu tells him it comes with the price of being a public figure in a well known industry.

“when your fans get disappointed because you can’t take a picture with them, do you ever feel guilty over it?”

it’s one of those rare days he gets to spend time with xingqiu when he’s in town, all while gaming and chongyun are off busy somewhere.

“sometimes, though, I remember that i don’t owe them anything.” xingqiu shrugs, leading them to the elevator that brings them to the penthouse on the top floor of the already lavish apartment building. obviously. “it gets easier with the job.”

xiao chews on his lip as they enter xingqiu’s apartment, the sunlight filters through the large floor-to-ceiling windows in the vast living room and offers a view of feiyun slope down below. if it were not for xingqiu’s clothes or things littered atop almost every piece of furniture, xiao would’ve thought his apartment looked like a spotless showroom. “you really need to clean up.”

“hey, i’m going through a rough time!” xingqiu yells from the kitchen. he’s hauling groceries onto the marble kitchen island like he’ll be staying in liyue for more than a week.

“right. your writer’s block and your complicated friendship with albedo.” xiao says with a sigh before heading to the kitchen. “honestly, i’m kind of surprised there haven’t been any rumors about you both.”

xingqiu’s head pops up from the space in between the counters and kitchen island and shoots him a deadpan look. “trust me, there are. they’re simply not as blown up as your regular celebrity drama because i’m an author. besides, i keep shutting down those types of questions during interviews. i don’t give them the time of day, otherwise they’ll twist my words and run with it.”

xiao thinks back on kazuha’s silence during the entire scandal he had with kunikuzushi, how he never made a single comment regarding their time together. “back then, do you think kazuha should’ve said something to clear things up?”

“he could’ve, but his team might’ve told him to stay quiet. like i mentioned previously, ticket sales for games that kazuha participated in skyrocketed after the news came out. people were nosy over their relationship because they’re both hot and fairly new, famous people.”

it’s true that there was a trend of rising interest towards baseball once those tabloids started leaking pictures on a weekly basis. it’s strange that someone as outspoken as kazuha would've said absolutely nothing on the matter, xiao sees him as someone who’d profess his love and double down on it on national television for the entire world to see. kunikuzushi mentioned they were never in a relationship to begin with, so the idea that kazuha’s comments were suppressed by his team’s decision to allow the rumors to boost their popularity irks him to no end.

there’s no question that kazuha had a pretty rough time, all the while xiao angrily thought of him in a terrible light and fucked some guy to get over it. it’s not one of his best moments.

“if i got into a situation like that, how should i handle it?” xiao asks, drumming his fingers on the countertop as xingqiu finishes up storing his groceries. “i doubt i’ll ever be caught up in something as bad, but it’d be nice to know what i could do.”

“for one, if they’re asking you invasive questions such as ‘what’s your relationship with so and so?’ or ‘have you heard what they’ve been saying about you and this other person?’, immediately make no revealing comments. shut it down.” xingqiu makes a slicing motion with his hand on his neck for emphasis. “with that blank faced stare and dry words of yours, they’re sure to take it seriously. especially if you give them nothing to work with!”

“this is the first time within a decade of our friendship that you’ve praised how dry i am.” xiao huffs in amusement.

“it’s a strong suit that i believe you possess.” xingqiu says with a bow. he ushers xiao into the living room and makes him sit on the million mora couch. “in all honesty, i doubt the reporters are going to dig up anything notable from your past. you don’t have any public appearances outside your games, and you mostly keep to yourself. in other words, there’s nothing newsworthy there.”

“i suppose you’re right…” it’s better to be nothing but a boring old baseball player to the reporters.

“plus! in all your years of having an account on instagram, you’ve only posted one picture.” xingqiu shoves his phone in his face, his newly turned publicly verified account staring right back at him in the face. the one picture he has uploaded is of his family during their lantern rite visit to chenyu vale.

xiao groans, the reminder of his modeling work hitting him. “i’m going to have to post more for the sponsors. you still owe me help with that.”

xingqiu beams and snaps his fingers together. “isn’t that why we’re here in my apartment? come here, let’s see what we’re working with.”

keeping still isn’t that much of a struggle— it’s the posing without the looking stilted part of modeling that xiao suffers with. xiao would probably have a better time filming advertisements when the time came for it, but even then, his resting blank stare would still be present. he’s not sure how to exude charm as well as xingqiu or kazuha does, frankly he can’t see what any of his brand endorsements find captivating about him.

‘flash!' the camera goes off for what feels like the umpteenth time that day.

“uh, you’re still looking a little too stiff.” the director of photography says after one look at the resulting pictures. “could you smile a little less?”

xiao tries for a smaller smile that twitches at the corners as the camera snaps several more pictures.

“let’s take a break, shall we?”

they near the end of the season and yakshas have several wins to satisfy xiao by enough upon losing to a snezhnayan team in the final playoffs. the interview shows he’s scheduled to be on and hasn't begun filming yet, so xiao has been hopping from one brand endorsement to the next to clear out his schedule before the holidays arrive.

it’s surprising to derive some semblance of pride in striking the pose the photographers want him in while dressed in form fitting sportswear, or when they take candid shots of him in the outdoors as he does his regular warm up routine. the final pictures he’s taken glimpses of bring out not only the best within the products, though he has to admit they’re the most enticing looks he’s ever done. xiao’s favorite has to be the advert with the shoe brand, the make up they put on him highlights his natural features and his hair was tied up in a small ponytail— call him prideful, but he felt pretty in that shoot.

he finds most of his shoots to be a breeze. all except this current shoot with dawn fit.

xiao stops himself from grimacing, simply nods and puts the canned drink back down on the table. he’s done everything xingqiu told him to do when he helped him practice for three entire days before xingqiu ran off to a different corner of teyvat. he knows his smiles look awkward, but he doesn’t think a blank face would do well for a brand that is supposed to be upbeat and motivating.

maybe xiao made a mistake in accepting this sponsorship.

during the break, xiao mindlessly stares at the framed pictures in the greenroom. there are plenty of pictures of other athletes they sponsor plastered on the wall, but nobody appears more than a specific platinum haired man. kazuha steals the spotlight in every picture he’s in, a cheerful smile gracing his features that burns brighter than any star xiao could ever compare him to. still shots of the advertisement that played on chongyun’s tv that one time are plastered like it’s the company’s magnum opus, one xiao has seen countless of times on his own tv.

“are you trying to look like him?” he’s not sure when yelan opened the door. her hands are on her hips, her usual coat still looks close to falling off her shoulders, thrown over a perfectly ironed blouse. “you keep attempting to smile, and i’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but it’s not working out great.”

“wow, thank you for your input.” xiao rolls his eyes. “it’s not like i don’t already know how terrible i am at smiling.”

“there’s no need for your snarky replies.” yelan smirks with the shake of her head. “i’m serious. you don’t have to look so cheery. it looks strained.”

“i don’t think they want me to glare right into the camera.” xiao mutters. he rubs his arms and looks up at a picture of kazuha holding out the drink. truthfully, xiao can’t ever look that excited over dawn fit’s wide variety of drinks, they don’t taste that good to warrant such an expression.

“they chose you because they certainly saw something in you. have you even bothered striking the faces you’ve done in previous shoots?”

he exasperatedly gestures to the wall of pictures in front of them. “have you seen this place? it’s all smiles with the athletes they sponsor. of course i haven’t.”

“it doesn’t hurt to try. they have kaedehara kazuha to smile for the camera, perhaps they’re looking for a broodier ambassador to broaden their horizons.” yelan shrugs. “why did you take this job if you know you’re awful at smiling?”

“...i have my reasons.” xiao states, punctuating his words with a grumble.

yelan pauses for a moment, before she shakes her head with an amused smile. “alright. i’ll try to work something out, okay?”

they return to the shooting room, and yelan talks with the director for a hot moment. he’s learned how much of a smooth talker yelan can be, which xiao appreciates, so it doesn’t take long for yelan to return to him with a smile painted on her lips.

“they said they were completely fine with you not smiling, they thought you wanted to smile so they went along with it.”

xiao sighs, both relieved and frustrated at the same time. “i see. thank you.”

the shoot resumes, and all previous attempts to smile have been dropped as xiao looks right into the camera with his natural expression, jaw tilted up and hair gently falling into place around his face.

the director is finally satisfied with the end products. the production crew all clap in accordance, and they beckon xiao to come over to look at the pictures. he looks pretty good, and nothing about it looks strained to make xiao cringe, thus he deems it as a success. 

he isn’t as smiley as kazuha is, but maybe when he comes back, xiao could ask for advice. his fingers retrace the familiar steps back to their chat, and xiao’s thumbs type out a message.

‘i hope you’re coming back soon.’

he deletes it.

the season ends with a bang, quite literally when fireworks are set off at the afterparty he reluctantly attends. as yakshas’ newest member, the least xiao can do is join. even if that meant leaving the party just after an hour of his team dragging him along to introduce him as their best new pitcher, his face furiously burning throughout the whole entire ordeal.

it only helps that there are recognizable faces like sethos there that xiao can get several words out that aren't about baseball.

“it’s no surprise you ended up with yakshas! keqing was right when she said you’d fit well with them. your pitches have grown faster since i last saw one of your matches!” sethos clinks his glass with xiao’s. “i hope we get to play against each other next season. hey, maybe we could train together during spring training too!”

“thank you.” xiao nods, taking a sip of his drink. “training together would be great.”

someone saunters up to them, white hair and red eyes, one xiao finds oddly familiar. sethos lights up and gestures to “oh, xiao, this is my boyfriend. cyno, come say hi!”

“jueyun jian’s ace?”

“uh… yes?” xiao blinks. as hard as he tries to rack his brain, he can’t for the life of him recognize this man. the sentence ‘i don’t recognize you, i’m sorry.’ is on the tip of xiao’s tongue, but he bites it back as he looks from sethos to cyno with a wince.

“we played in the spring. i was the shortstop for surasthana academy.” xiao must’ve made a blank face, because cyno tries again. “well, i was also there when you visited with kaedehara—”

sethos interrupts him as he taps a finger on his chin. “awful jokes and tcg, does that ring a bell? try making one now, cyno.”

“hey, i’m a baseball player not a comedian, i can't make a joke right off the bat.” the deadpan way cyno says it almost makes xiao think he’s serious. almost. sethos has an equally grim frown.

the memory hits xiao, one where he’s close to dozing in a cafe while kazuha raked over different trading card sets while a litany of terrible puns were said in the background. xiao coughs, “oh right. i remember now. excuse me, i need to… get a refill.”

nevermind that he’s not even drinking alcohol tonight, not when he needs to drive back to his apartment right after (and also out of embarrassment for how shameless he acted the last time he got tipsy in public). he just needs to get out of there before he’s stuck talking about that damned card game or dragged away by a teammate to join another awkward conversation.

ultimately, nobody stops him when he exits the party.

his apartment isn’t as big and lavish as xingqiu’s, but it’s decently sized enough for xiao to have a bedroom bigger than his entire dorm room back in university. he feels like melting into the ground as the elevator rises from how draining the week has been— he’s finished up a few interviews without screwing them up tremendously, there are no invasive questions and xiao only had to talk about his past a couple times. yelan cheered him on after every interview and applauded his ability to maintain a good image despite how icy he may have seemed.

dazed, xiao punches in the code and walks into the blanket of darkness. he switches on the lights and gets the scare of his life when his friends pop out from his couch and yell: “congratulations!”

his heart is galloping at the speed of a frightened deer as he clutches his chest for dear life. “when i gave you my apartment code, i never said to come over and scare me like this!”

chongyun comes over and pats xiao’s shoulders in comfort. “i know you hate surprises, but i couldn’t stop these two from scheming together. they threatened to lock me in the bathroom.” 

“there is no way in hell we aren’t going to celebrate the end of xiao’s first season in the major league and the launch of his ad campaign with dawn fit!” gaming says and procures three thermos bottles worth of tea.

xingqiu dangles a box in front of his face with a gleeful smile. “i even brought you pastries from fontaine!”

xiao ends up sitting in the middle of the couch, delightedly eating cream puffs he hasn’t tasted in months. it’s been a week since the campaign began, and from what yelan said, it’s been profitable already for dawn fit to extend another offer to work together. they watch the advertisement on xiao’s tv and make teasing comments on his physique and facial expressions, he rolls his eyes and laughs lightheartedly along with them.

“would you kill me if i said your ad is better than kaedehara’s?” xingqiu says, reaching over to pour xiao another serving of the tea. “i can’t put my finger on why, though.”

“it’s because kaedehara’s ad felt more focused on his looks— ow!” gaming yelps before dodging another smack of the pillow to his head, courtesy of xiao's wrath. “you can’t deny that!”

“i think you look just as good, xiao.” chongyun chimes in as he pats xiao’s arm. “now, please stop hitting my boyfriend.”

“all of us hold biased opinions, so it’s incomparable. let’s just watch something else.” xiao relinquishes the pillow and grabs the remote to exit full screen mode. the recommended videos on the side are either related to xiao’s interviews or kazuha’s matches, and xiao huffs a breath of exasperation as he tries to look for a video that isn't about them. the remote’s button is stiff from disuse each time he jams it down in search of a good video until he comes across a bewildering title. 

‘conspiracies of the home plate podcast: is yakshas’ xiao an industry plant?!’ it’s at three views. the poorly made thumbnail consisting of xiao’s pitch pasted on an orange gradient background and the contrasting green colors of the word ‘industry plant?!’, large and bold pasted front and center to clickbait unsuspecting viewers.

xiao, flabbergasted, raises an eyebrow at the screen. “what the hell is this? industry plant?”

“the video barely has any views, it’s probably some stupid gossip. don’t bother clicking on it.” chongyun says, swiping the remote out of xiao’s loosened grip. he goes for a video compilation of cats playing in the snow.

“i guess this is how you know you’re getting famous.” gaming whistles low before adding, “they start calling you an industry plant instead of crediting your years of hard work and success.”

“i know, but isn’t it public knowledge that i’ve been going to nationals since we were in highschool?” xiao’s bewilderment boils over into short-lived laughter. “i’m just surprised people would bother with this kind of crap.”

xingqiu sighs, long and heavy. “i told you, they don’t have anything on your past. at this point, they’re stirring the pot for their own entertainment. chongyun is right, don’t pay them any mind.”

it’s true that pointless drama like this is inescapable as a public figure, but going as far as to call him an industry plant? while he’s mildly curious on what bullshit the video spewed about him, there’s no point in giving them any sort of attention. the video is quickly skipped over in xiao’s mind as his friends quickly launch into a rambunctious debate over which cat breed man chai actually is.

nothing about the video sticks in xiao’s head for a few weeks. it only reoccurs to him a little after he’s leaving the gym with menogias after practicing in the batting cages.

“your batting could still use a little work, but your speed really makes up for it. next season, they might even make you the leadoff!” menogias heartily slaps his back. they’ve been training together at xiao’s request to revise his batting in the off season before xiao has to go home to meet his family for the holidays.

xiao grins from behind his water bottle and shakes his head. “i don’t think so, bonanus might kill me for that. it’s been her spot for years now.”

“don’t worry, i won’t let her.” they chuckle and make their way to grab a quick bite at a nearby sandwich shop. 

menogias is in the middle of ordering for them while xiao sits on a bench outside. a person creeps into xiao’s field of vision as he’s scrolling through his phone and xiao feels his blood run cold. they stand there for just a moment, unmoving. xiao tightens his grip on his phone to assess his surroundings. it’s better to be safe, just in case.

the person slowly slinks forward from the shadows and xiao takes immediate notice of the logo of another baseball team on their cap. it’s not recognizable from where they stood, but xiao remains cautious as he they walk up to him.

“hey, you’re yakshas’ newest pitcher, right? i’m a fan!” they say with a bright smile.

xiao breathes a sigh of relief. “yes, i am. thank you.”

“that’s awesome! do you mind autographing my hat? it’s a ganoderma cap, but it’s the only one i have on me right now.” a flash of familiarity flickers in xiao’s mind at the team name. the logo is all too familiar now that he’s looking at it, discomfort pricking into his skin.

“sorry, i don’t feel like it’s right if i autograph the cap of a different team.” xiao replies, shaking his head. especially if it was kazuha’s team.

the person’s smile drops, but it’s quickly replaced with a strained looking grin. “that’s alright, i understand. good ol’ sportsmanship between teams, right?”

“er… yes.” xiao sends a wary glance to the shop and sees menogias still at the register, just flipping his wallet open. the interaction was quickly turning awkward and xiao isn’t sure how to salvage it from descending into something even worse.

“okay, then, how about one picture? i won’t post it online, i promise!”

“i’m sorry, but i don’t take pictures either. i’m not comfortable with it.”

“just one! come on, nobody will know!” the ‘fan’ is insistent, like every other bad egg xiao has come across. apparently to them, boundaries don’t exist if you’re a public figure. he knows it’s impossible to avoid this breed of person within the sporting world, and frankly, xiao knows he’ll be bashed online one way or another regardless of how he responds— especially if he cursed out a fan of another team.

nevertheless, xiao can’t stop himself from scowling this time around, venom close to dripping in his voice. “please leave me alone, you’re better off getting pictures from somebody else. i don’t take them and i never will, there’s no use in trying to get one out of me.”

“wow, you’re as insufferable as they say you are.” the person spits through a snarl, like the snake they most likely are. “must be nice acting all high and mighty when the yaksha s picked you up to boost your own image, huh?”

the words pierce right through him and anger briefly burns hotly within his chest. he takes a deep breath to calm down, and levels the person with a hardened gaze. “say whatever you want, but i’m not taking a picture with you. leave me alone, please.”

they ignore xiao’s words and talk over him, pointing an accusatory finger in his face. “if kaedehara was still with ganoderma , he’d definitely beat your team into a pulp like he did to you in the spring nationals, you industry plant!”

the mention of kazuha and their last match together is unexpected, xiao’s eyebrows furrow and his retort falters in his throat. it doesn’t deter his anger from multiplying by tenfold and xiao has to bite back a curse from his lips. not only was this person insulting xiao and his achievements, but they’re now rubbing salt all over an old wound from his past. it should be easy for xiao to knock some sense into this person, the only thing stopping him is the very public setting of the sandwich shop in broad daylight.

“excuse me, what’s going on here?” menogias’ voice booms. he’s on the steps of the shop, and like a guardian angel, he’s eyeing xiao’s harasser with a ferocious glower. “if you keep harassing my teammate, i’ll have to call the millelith.”

“whatever, i didn’t want the stupid picture anyway!” the idiot sputters, before running off into whatever sick dump they live in. 

once they’re sure of the person’s absence, menogias’s glare turns soft and he sits down next to xiao with a shake of his head. “sorry for taking so long. i’m sure you could’ve handled it, but that must’ve been uncomfortable.”

“i nearly punched their lights out.” xiao says with a grimace as he takes his sandwich. “they were spouting so much bullshit, all because i didn’t want to take a picture with them. not to mention this is the second time i’ve been called an industry plant!”

“they’ll call you all sorts of things for the stupidest of reasons.”

xiao’s stomach churns at the thought. he’s close enough with his team by now to confide brief snippets of his past with kazuha, including jueyun jian’s loss at nationals. “i wouldn’t have cared, but then they brought up the spring finals match…” 

“they’re a ganoderma fan, it’s not surprising they brought it up. they lost pretty early on this season, and it’s the first time such a thing happened since kaedehara quit the team. they’re just sore losers.” menogias shrugs with a chuckle.

from an outsider’s point of view, it would make sense to hurt xiao where it stung the most with his worst performance in a match against their favorite player. still, it wouldn’t have been such a low blow if it were not for xiao’s personal feelings towards the match. they would never know of the history beneath all of it, however xiao would always feel the stinging reminder, no matter how many years have flown past.

menogias pulls him away from his thoughts as he continues, “so many yakshas fans love you already, and i’m sure a good chunk of them have seen you grow from a highschool ace pitcher to a major league professional. there will always be a few rotten eggs in the bunch, but it’s easy to ignore them once you focus on the people who love you.”

“you’re right. by the way, that was the first time i’ve ever seen you so mad…” 

“i could say the same for you!” they gloss over the incident with the team the next day during practice with a laugh.

all is forgotten and well until it’s not, and this time it happens xiao is smack dab in the middle of a live interview with another outlet. he’s heard of them from his father back in the past and they’re reputable enough for xiao to agree for a quick interview before he heads home at the end of the week.

everything is a smooth sailing breeze in the beginning, xiao tells his experience of how it felt to play in the major league for the first time in his career and the interviewer looks to be interested enough to continue asking him follow up questions on his favorite matches of the season.

“our last question is: what team you’d like to go against next season?” the interviewer asks with a clasp of his hands. “any team you can think of at the top of your head will do!”

“fontaine’s pneuma.” xiao answers. “number twenty two, lyney, was a formidable pitcher back then in my highschool years.”

the interviewer interjects with a laugh. “he still is one!” 

“i agree. many of my opponents from my past in highschool now play in the major league, their skills must’ve improved since we last met on the field, so i think it would be interesting to see how a match between us would play out.” predictably, he’s thinking of kazuha. from watching several of his matches, there’s no doubt about it, kazuha’s batting hits harder and he runs like he’s one with the wind. even with xiao’s growth, if they had their bet now, xiao wholeheartedly believes that kazuha would absolutely win again.

“there are people who’d definitely want to watch that! your skill and popularity have grown much since then, i’m sure fans would die to see you go against past opponents! like for one, ex-captain of narukami highschool, kaedehara kazuha-xiansheng!” kazuha’s picture, one where he’s posed to bat, pops up on the screen behind them.

xiao presses his lips into a thin line. “i see—”

“there has been some speculation from his fans that you entered the industry just as he quit from his previous team, inazuma’s ganoderma, just so you could replace him as the baseball world’s sweetheart!” the interviewer is laughing still, as if this is all just some measly little joke between them. xiao can’t find it in himself to chuckle along, not when he is literally spouting bullshit on live television. he shoots yelan a frustrated glance and she shakes her head, holding up three fingers.

three more minutes of this nonsensical garbage. xiao doesn’t even bother to put up a smile and stares back with a deadpan as the interviewer continues to yap like an inebriated conspiracy theorist.

“—i mean, you’ve now become an ambassador of dawn fit, the same brand that kaedehara-xiansheng has been an ambassador of for the last five years!” as to mock him further, a picture of both xiao and kazuha’s adverts pop onto the screen behind them, side by side.

xiao’s eye twitches. frankly, dawn fit finally requested xiao join their ambassador program after the big success the campaign had. xiao only accepted because not only would it fund him, he wasn’t one to say no to a good opportunity for the sake of his team. “they extended their offer to me, i’m not sure what you’re trying to imply here.”

“it’s all just speculation that our outlet has been hearing, do you have any comments on this?” the interviewer leans in, as if he’s trying to get a better look at xiao’s annoyance.

xiao clenches his jaw but maintains the calm facade, and shakes his head. “i don’t, no.”

like he just lost the scoop of the century, the interviewer leans back with poorly disguised disappointment. “alright. well, that’s all the time we have for today, so thank you for coming here, xiao-xiansheng!”

the bright studio lights shut off with a resounding thud and nobody stops xiao from storming off into the awaiting car in the parking lot.

“what the hell was that?” is the first question out of xiao’s mouth once both yelan slips into the driver’s seat.

“i’m starting to think we need to make a list of banned questions the next time we go for an interview.” yelan tosses her jacket into the passenger seat with a hard throw as she twists the car key in the ignition. “i’m sorry, i wasn’t aware they would pull up those baseless allegations— on live television no less. i’m rejecting future offers from them, clearly they didn’t do their due diligence.”

“kazuha’s fans think i came to usurp his nationally loved position, all because i debuted in the league just as he quit and we’re the ambassadors of the same brand.” the statement is so incredulous, xiao finds himself laughing at the absurdity of it all. “do they think i’m some jealous, sore loser who got here with absolutely zero skills?”

“they’ll twist anything to fit their narrative. i think it got particularly bad when their team lost early on, so they’ve resorted to spreading rumors about the next greatest person in the league.” yelan glances up at him from the rearview mirror with a grim look. “we’ll just have to ride out this bad wave. you know, you did a pretty great job up there by deflecting the question, don’t let them get anything out of it. don’t let it get to you, alright? it might get worse from here on out.”

“i know, it gets annoying at times,” xiao grumbles, crossing his arms. “i can handle it. if anything, the questions are so ridiculous, maybe i won’t answer the next person who asks me about it.”

“atta boy!”

true to yelan’s words, things do in fact, get worse. more short form videos of his alleged industry plant status are posted online, clips of spring nationals and his erratic pitching against kazuha in that last inning are practically inescapable when xiao goes on his social media pages. there are countless comments on his dawn fit sponsored posts; they vary from things like ‘you’ll never be better than kazuha!’ or ‘dawn fit only hired you because kazuha’s taking a break’, from numerous accounts all with kazuha in their icons.

his only saving grace is spending his holiday at the sanctuary he calls home with his family. even if they do go out, he’s resorted to using a cap and a mask whenever they’re out in crowded areas at the off chance he gets recognized. he profusely apologizes for inconveniencing them, yet they never fail to express vehement frustration for his situation.

(“if kaedehara gege saw all that, he’d definitely hate them.” ganyu once said after scrolling through another one of xiao’s comment sections.

xiao had given her a sad frown. “kazuha’s not a hateful person, he wouldn’t do that…”

“you ‘hated’ him because you spent, like, three years thinking he thought lowly of you.” ganyu, sharp as ever, shot back with a quick retort.

xiao sighed in defeat.)

any semblance of peace that remained is disrupted when xiao flies out to fontaine for spring training with his team. as is tradition, teams from every nation gathered there in preparation for the major and minor leagues, so he should’ve seen it coming that more than a few people would know of the news about him. it would’ve happened sooner or later, the rumors have been spreading like wildfire through the internet and tabloids since winter.

chongyun and heizou show up for season prep as expected, and xiao has them and his teammates to thank for quickly shutting down questions if some unsuspecting player from another team hesitantly asks about the validity of the rumors. players he hasn’t played against in years like amber and nilou come to him to offer their support— knowing that these rumors really are unfounded to everyone except his detractors keeps xiao grounded through this entire mess.

spring training is a blast (if he ignores the occasional reporter waiting outside the training facilities), they’re jam packed with action on a day to day basis and xiao meets several new players while he’s training that never makes it a bore. the training complex’s gym is never empty regardless of the time of day; there are always players lifting weights or doing reps even when it’s close to one in the morning.

occasionally, he gets to form a battery with chongyun like they used to in highschool and stun everyone with their synergy on the field. xiao is secretly glad that out of all their habits, at least this one is still ingrained into their reflexes. 

it’s all fun and scratches the itch he had in the holidays, xiao doesn’t stop himself from pitching with his entire might during training. xiao can see a noticeable improvement since he started last year when they have practice matches against other teams. the strict training regimen isn’t as grueling as it used to be, xiao can run laps while pulling a tire for ages like it’s nothing. he welcomes the numbing ache from gym workouts, and he gets teased lightheartedly for the toned lines on his abdomen and arms whenever he’s changing in the locker rooms.

maybe it’s the mocking name ‘industry plant’ unwillingly branded onto him that triggers his need to train hard, it's certainly another motivator next to his dream to see kazuha once more.

before he knows it, spring training comes to an end and the roster for the next season is released. he bumps several shoulders on the way to the board; some players are celebrating in excitement with high fives and loud yells, and there are several others defeatedly walking to their lockers in tears. it’s a battlefield out here, and it even has xiao scrambling to find his team on the large board.

biting his lip, his eyes trail down the list of names on the roster.

seventeen. alatus. starting pitcher.

he’s the ace of the season.

as if xiao can’t have anything good for himself, his starting position gets bashed on several new tabloid headlines with the worst sounding, attention-grabbing titles. ‘arrogant, prideful, rude: why yakshas’ xiao doesn’t deserve the starting position’ was one of the nastier headlines he saw.

yakshas’ managers and yelan work together to dispel the rumors as best as they can before the season begins and damage control works just slightly enough for some articles to be removed for clear defamation, but there’s nothing they can really do about the stream of hate comments on xiao and yakshas’ social media pages.

xiao doesn’t let it get to him— he believes in his own skill and ability as a valuable member of the team. the only part that gets under his skin at times is how kazuha gets brought up several times; some inazuman outlets seem to hate him the most for possibly replacing their nation’s sweetheart. nonetheless, it’s hypocritical how so many of the same outlets had been pumping out the same rubbish on kazuha’s personal affairs back when he was actively playing. 

looking back on it now, if things didn’t turn out this way, xiao would’ve fought tooth and nail to shut them up any way he could. it’s two years late for that sentiment and all xiao can do now is just hope kazuha is having the time of his life wandering around teyvat.

drama aside, with the new season comes a fresh batch of players on different teams and making their debut on the first string of a team. heizou tells him of his new deal with tengu, he’s returned to his role as the right outfielder he truly is at heart, and xiao is looking forward to seeing yakshas go against tengu if their teams cross paths.

he’s having lunch with heizou while he’s blabbering his mouth off; they’re in a newly opened cafe in the center of the city a week before the season officially begins. they’re set off to fly to different parts of teyvat for their matches and heizou is feeling particularly chatty right after his position on tengu had been announced to apparently anyone he can find.

“you know, kujou-san isn’t as scary as she looks on the field. man, highschool heizou would’ve been so stoked to know that he’d eventually end up on the same team as her!” heizou says around a mouthful of fried chicken and xiao makes a noncommittal sound in return as he scrolls through his phone. “he’d also probably be excited knowing that you and i might have a chance of fighting it out on the field again.”

“not when tengu inevitably loses, and i get to spend my evening at home.” xiao snickers. his thumb drags across his screen to load his instagram feed— he’s waiting on more player announcements from different teams to assess the possible outcome of this season.

“prepare to eat your words! i can’t wait to see the look on your face when you lose, i’m going to enjoy having you there hanging out with me at the afterparty.” there’s the sound of heizou crunching through another chicken before he speaks again. “either way, highschool heizou would be happy enough just to play against you, at the cost of possibly facing kujou-san’s wrath.”

“how admirable of you, oh honorable shikanoin heizou.” instagram loads a new picture on his feed and it’s another article from a stupid news outlet talking about if xiao really deserved his new position. it’s nothing new, but his eyes narrow still in annoyance and he blocks the account without thinking twice. “i’m curious, has kazuha ever said anything about getting compared to me and all?”

“if he has, then i haven’t heard anything about it. actually, he hasn’t sent any new postcards at the height of all the tabloids publishing their garbage.”

in a rare moment of hesitation, he wonders if kazuha changed enough from the man he once knew to find satisfaction in the barrage of hate hurling towards him.

xiao eyes flicker up from his phone to meet his gaze. “i see. well, i’m going to pay at the register; you owe me next time.” he rolls his eyes when heizou does an overt heart pose with his arms.

the tv drones on in the background of the cafe as xiao waits in line to pay. xiao fidgets with his fingers, the line is moving particularly slow when the person up front is fumbling for their wallet. he turns his attention to the tv; a news channel is playing and xiao’s silently hoping they won’t play something about him and blow his cover. despite his best efforts to cover up his face with a hat and a mask, there’s not many people in the city with teal highlights in their hair.

a new section starts to play and xiao is intent on listening, the line doesn’t look like it’s about to move any time soon.

“this is charlotte for the steambird’s news on sports of all kinds! first off, we have some groundbreaking news to share that the studio just received: ritou maple leafs have announced a player teyvat has been waiting for, dry your tears because their newest member, number twenty nine and third baseman: kaedehara kazuha has returned to the baseball world!”

a thunder crackles in the back of xiao’s mind at the mention and he whips his head to face the television. the breath is fully knocked out of his lungs as the news anchor continues the announcement; a new picture of kazuha is on the tv, dressed in crimson ritou uniform and a devilish grin on his face, xiao’s knees go weak at the sight.

kazuha is back. he’s back and he’ll be playing in the major league.

the combination of cotton filling his head and the tumultuous rushing of blood rushing in his ears, xiao doesn’t hear the final total of their lunch. he mindlessly taps his card on the card reader and leaves without taking the bill, wandering back to his table with heizou with a dazed look.

xiao chokes out a lame goodbye, unable to look up at heizou at his current state. the reality of it all hasn’t hit him a single bit and some part of him feels like it’ll be one of the many dreams he’s had of kazuha returning. it doesn’t feel real until he’s swaddled up in his bed, under a couple layers of his blanket and staring at kazuha’s announcement picture on ritou maple leafs’ official instagram page. 

 “i’ve been training with ritou during the entire off season, i’m grateful they’ve presented me with this opportunity to return to the industry.” in a video, kazuha is talking in inazuman, he looks brighter and happier, no longer a shell of himself from when xiao had last seen him in public. “i hope everyone looks forward to our matches in the season, we hope to see you there!”

several calls and texts come in to check up on his well-being, and as embarrassing as it is, xiao is glad to know that he is loved by many people for them to send multiple pictures of kazuha’s comeback and the subsequent press conference that happened earlier that day in inazuma.

this is everything he wanted. they’re both in the major league and xiao is barely a mile away from just reaching kazuha and explaining himself. with the tabloids and reporters around the stadiums, it’ll be a pain to try and talk to kazuha on the days of his matches; xiao’s will rejuvenates anew to ransack his entire room to find a memento he hasn’t touched since he moved out of his home. the omamori doesn’t look as new as it once did half a decade ago, the fabric crumpled from how much xiao used to crush it in his grip back in highschool, but it doesn’t stop xiao from holding on tight to it with a desperation he hasn’t felt since he was in his third year. 

‘somehow,’ xiao prays with every drop of hope he holds in his body, ‘we’ll meet on the field.’

the following week, the game season commences and it’s as cutthroat as xiao remembers it to be. it’s busy enough for xiao to get his head in the game and ignore all the buzzings of kazuha’s matches floating around in every corner of the stadium, the stakes are higher when baseball is no longer just an after school game he participates in, focusing on getting consecutive strikeouts is all xiao can think of the moment he’s switched on and off the field. 

there are no worrying glances thrown his way at the dugout, so he must be doing a good job at repressing his feelings after every match. the reporters seek him out almost immediately upon a win, ninety percent of the time it’s to ask for his opinions on the match but there’s always that ten percent carelessly shoving their mic to his face and asking him obtuse questions about kazuha’s performance in the season.

in a different time, xiao would openly gush on kazuha’s unwavering strength despite his two year break. it’s clear that in his time away, he never stopped training and maintained his good physique and stamina to sign on a team as impressive as ritou maple leafs. xiao would make a joke of how it was fate that they’ve landed in their dream teams, and right after the interview was over, kazuha would call him up and tease him for making such a statement on national broadcasted live television.

at present, xiao turns his nose at the question and answers with a simple ‘i have no opinions on it’. he silently hopes that kazuha never comes across these interviews, not when it’s not his true feelings on kazuha’s prowess on the field. it’ll never be a sufficient answer to deter the reporters from asking those same stupid questions, and it’ll never describe kazuha the way xiao truly thinks of him.

in between his matches, xiao takes up journaling and writes all his feelings down. and by journaling, xiao really means writing to kazuha with the intent of writing things he’ll never say.

there are a hundred different speeches he’d say to kazuha if he had the courage to call him up on a random day, all his feelings swirled into his prose to make up for the words he can’t bring himself to speak out loud. they are mostly apologies, but every once in a while, xiao would indulge in his poor little heart’s feelings and scribble down reminiscences of their past and his evermore strong affections for him. haste, hesitant scratches fill the pages; phrases that make his heart come close to exploding whenever he writes it down, things that only xiao alone will forever know.

both teams are progressing well in the season, xiao watches each one of kazuha’s matches without fail from his tv screen at whichever part of the world he’s at. the very real situation of not being able to watch his matches in person slightly irks him to a degree, however yelan and xiao have agreed that it would do more harm to them both if xiao showed up to one of his matches— disguised or not. there’s nothing in the world xiao won’t do to see him, to assess the velocity of his throw and catch his charming smile close enough for the butterflies in xiao’s stomach to burst.

on one of xiao’s better matches, perhaps it’s the excitement that spurs him to subtly hint on kazuha’s plays during a post match interview when a question comes about his favorite player of the season. “i don’t have a favorite player, per se, but there’s been a few i’ve been keeping my eye on. particularly, those that can jump high and throw balls back to the diamond like it’s nothing, even if they’re in the ninth inning.”

there are many people in the field who hold that ability that xiao can name on the top of his head, it’s an adequately vague answer to dance around the boundaries of what xiao will and won’t say to the press. yet really, any hardcore kazuha fan would know that only kazuha holds those skills ever since he played for narukami.

ganyu calls him a yearning loser who refuses to go about his feelings, but xiao doesn’t think there’s anything that could top how he feels than fighting hard to meet on the same field. if kazuha really thought of him and they still held onto the same wish, then they both would play with their absolute might to face each other off one way or another. it’s a sentiment ridiculous enough that mid season, ganyu forces him onto a video call with his friends waiting on the other end.

the call is aptly named ‘very very important team meeting ft. ganyu’, more so when chongyun pulls back none of his punches and goes straight for his throat. “i mean, ganyu is right. you’re making this so much harder on yourself. like, are you actually planning on saying anything if you meet?”

“obviously?” xiao says with a scoff. he crosses his arms and glares at his laptop screen. “it’s obvious that i can’t avoid him, so i might as well apologize.”

the unconvinced stare ganyu gives him is palpable, even through the screen. “then why haven’t you, oh i don’t know, tried asking your manager to arrange something with their manager? you know you could arrange for that sort of thing, right?”

“it’s not worth the hassle.” in addition, xiao hasn’t really thought about what to say yet when they meet. in spite of the nonsensical ramblings of a fool his journal holds, it’s too embarrassing and delves into his feelings way too much for xiao to hold a civil conversation with someone he hasn’t talked to properly in five years. hell, maybe there might not even be enough time after the match to say anything.

gaming begins to speak off screen from chongyun’s side of the call, “i don’t think there’s anything wrong with xiao wanting to do it his own way, i mean it’s kind of like something straight out of xingqiu’s books: old rivals battling their feelings out on the battlefield!”

ganyu laughs together with gaming at the ridiculous statement, all the while xingqiu’s smiles as he’s adjusting his glasses. “gaming’s actually right on the nose with that. it’s romantic, sure, but that’s if kazuha shares the same sentiments.”

“there’s nothing more romantic than saying ‘no comment’ when a reporter asks about your beloved’s progress in the season.” chongyun adds onto the teasing, and xiao’s ears frustratingly turn red from all the giggling they're doing like they used to in highschool. some things just never change.

“all jokes aside, at least kaedehara gege hasn’t been saying anything bad about you to the press.” the call screen starts to load and it quickly changes to ganyu’s screenshare of an article by the steambird from a match that happened earlier in the week. “in fact, as it says here, ‘kaedehara says he refrains from answering any questions on baseless accusations; it’s a waste of time to him, he notes.’”

xiao swallows a tiny lump in his throat. “oh.”

“kaedehara cares for xiao!” his friends sing, an explosion of heart emojis popping up on the call screen. xiao buries his face in his hands, his face as red as a tomato, while grumbling at his supposed ‘friends’ to shut up.

“i’m just saying, gege, whatever you tell kaedehara gege when you meet him, i hope it’s everything you’ve ever wanted to say.” ganyu says, softly smiling, not before she starts teasing him for not seeing how kazuha had never stopped adoring him. it’s a lively night amidst a season of victories. if everything goes well, then getting to talk to kazuha and expressing things he’s kept under lock and key would just be the cherry on top.

there’s the idea that kazuha might be doing it just for his own benefit; he’s been through a mentally taxing scandal just a couple years back and diving head first into another one isn’t exactly the greatest thing to do. if xiao didn’t care as much about all the things he’d done, maybe he’d be less inclined to entertain the fleeting doubts that manage to enter his head.

as much as the thoughts scare him, it’s like holding onto the omamori in a moment of hopelessness sometimes works. xiao’s fear gets slightly absolved a few days later when he decides to stick around watching a ritou maple leaf’s match long enough, instead of clicking out after the last inning ends.

chants of ‘mvp!’ are in the background as the interviewer holds a mic up to kazuha, asking him his feelings on how it felt to get multiple outs and the hundred sixty kilometre per hour ball he threw back to home without breaking a sweat. kazuha answers, hands on his hips as he chuckles modestly and talks, the interviewer hangs onto his every word and xiao gets it all too well. the natural charisma he exudes is perpetual, his smiles drip with sincerity and the way he bashfully scratches the back of his neck at a compliment is endearing; becoming smitten with kazuha is an unavoidable result he knows too well.

it doesn’t help that he continues to look just as eminently handsome. with age, his face is more sharp around the edges, and the half-lidded smile he sends the cameras is as deadly as the explosion that goes off on xiao’s mind whenever he sees it. kazuha’s shoulders are slightly bulkier and xiao can’t imagine the defined muscle underneath the uniform— if kazuha redid that popular advertisement for dawn fit he did, xiao would be dead by the end of the video.

“alright, one last question for you, kaedehara!” the interview grins at the camera before turning back to kazuha. “i’m sure you get this question a lot, but some people have been saying that  your fans have been causing a stir for other players this season. is there anything you’d want to say to those fans?”

“the interview was going so well, there really isn’t a need to mention that.” xiao mutters at the tv screen, shaking his head. at least the interviewer didn’t mention xiao by name.

“i’m… aware of such things happening.” kazuha says, frowning. “i know them to be baseless accusations too, those ‘fans’ who continue to spread those lies are not fans of mine at all. please do not believe them, everyone.”

if ganyu was correct, then this is the first time kazuha has really said anything about the situation.

“it’s strange that all the outlets, who defamed me back then, are now coming to my aid. i’d rather they stop, because there’s no use in being so wishy-washy for clicks.” kazuha then turns to the camera, staring right into it. “and to the player who’s been affected… i’m sorry.”

player, singular. 

it’s a small change, it might have been easily missed by anyone else, but it rings as clear as day in xiao’s mind. the look in kazuha’s eyes is the same one he had back then after spring finals during their argument, a raging storm of emotions flashing by on his face as xiao actively fought against his reasoning. it’s been years, yet xiao remembers every last bit of grief and heartbreak engraved into the frown he wore as xiao left him behind.

it feels like xiao is the only person in the world noticing all the little details etched into his body language: from the tic in his jaw down to the tension in his posture that replaced his easy going disposition. would it be crazy to think that kazuha isn’t saying this to pretend and be amicable with him? would it be an exaggeration to say that xiao’s broken heart felt itself mending together a little more?

they’re close to the finals, yakshas successfully beat tengu and earned him a pass from the afterparty, and this poster interview match is after ritou maple leafs’ win against pneuma. it’s a heartstopping thought, to think xiao is so close to meeting him, and here kazuha broadcasts another apology to him, a dramatic difference from the last one that sits in their texts.

when xiao performs extraordinarily well tomorrow while throwing his pitches to indrias’ mitt, almost getting a no hitter match this early in his career, he’ll say that it was the nice hotel bed and the good food they were given.

the air turns colder as fall approaches teyvat’s atmosphere, it’s colder and rains more often in liyue with the rise of the monsoon season. the major league is down to the last two matches, the last standing four teams will go against each other and the final two will be fighting for the major league world champions. yakshas against hermanubis’ silencers and ritou maple leafs against seven stars; each team have been world champions before but more often than not, seven stars   make it out on top.

the matches are happening one day after another, with yakshas going first and ritou the day after. it’s held in liyue since two teams are from the nation, so the stadium’s grass never fails to smell like fresh dirt from the rain that falls each night. 

right before his match is set to begin, xiao grasps his omamori. he closes his eyes and quietly says, “i’m going to win today.”

“we sure are!” bosacius’ voice booms right behind him, shocking xiao out of his skin.

“fuck, don’t do that, da-ge.” xiao hisses, before stuffing his omamori back into his locker.

“sorry, it was too good of an opportunity to pass.” bosacius tugs him by the arm to walk to the dugout, knowingly smiling at him. “holding onto some extra luck, huh?”

“i believe in everything happening for a reason, but it doesn't hurt to be hopeful.”

“xiao-di, we’ll definitely win. we’re here at the semifinals, so trust in your teammates and yourself. most importantly, have fun!” bosacius laughs heartily, patting him on his back. it’s the same advice he’s heard over and over again, but it’s only because it rings true each time. xiao smiles and agrees with the sentiment, they’ve made it this far, haven’t they?

the game goes off without a hitch. as the starting pitcher, xiao is the first one on the mound after the first no-hit inning batting against silencers. xiao gets a no hitter for the first few innings he’s in retaliation before he gets switched out with one of the reserve pitchers. it’s early in the game and the managers would rather he save his energy in case they go into extra innings, which is starting to look like it, given the no hits both teams refuse to give up.

silencers ’ ace is just as headstrong, it seems, yakshas’ batting line up can barely get a hit from his pitches, leading up to just two to three points an hour later with silencers’ in the lead. it’s not over just yet, but xiao can’t help biting his bottom lip in worry as he glances at the scoreboard. maybe it won’t be as romantic anymore if he fails to get to the finals and maybe that wouldn’t matter if ritou loses in their match tomorrow, xiao will have to concede defeat and face kazuha some other way.

it’s not worth pondering over when they still have a two hours maximum before they reach the end of the game; xiao fixes his helmet on as he goes up to bat and sends the coach on their team a solid nod before he goes up to step onto the home plate. batting second in the lineup, it’s not a surprise to xiao that he got striked out after being unable to get a read on the ace. bonanus had managed to get onto second, so the least xiao can do is try to attempt something. observing the ace during his time at the dugout helps, because xiao zones in on the curveball flying his way— it zooms past and is the tiniest of inches out of the strike zone.

“ball!”

xiao readies his bat again and waits for the pitch, it’s another curveball and again, he watches it fly, just barely missing the inside of the strike zone.

“ball two!” xiao’s gaze flickers up to the mound and smirks. from his observations at the dugout and now on the plate, the battery must be developing some kind of fast curveball. they’re betting on the chance that xiao swings down at it since the pitcher is rather good at covering how much of a mess the ball’s trajectory is.

after a fastball to change the pace that gives them one strike, the ace then throws a slower curveball, one that goes for the corner again, and xiao bats it just as it reaches the plate. running to first base, it’s a solid hit, far enough for bonanus to sprint like a fast moving river all the way home. she throws a thumbs up his way and xiao sends his own peace sign albeit how ridiculous it felt.

this gets the momentum going in their team. the batters start to trickle in the bases, and they manage to end the inning with a few runs more than silencers to get them into a tie at 5 points each time. they go into extra innings to nobody’s surprise, both teams are big fighters in the lead and xiao can’t help himself from grinning each time exhilaration thrums through his body. 

his changeup and sinker are the stars of the show in this match, they haven’t failed to strikeout batters every single time indrias’ calls for them. sethos isn’t spared from xiao’s path to winning either, xiao barely breaks a sweat striking him out the next time he’s on the plate. this is nothing but xiao’s pure talent and strength, xiao refuses to be called some industry plant that landed a spot in one of liyue’s most respected baseball teams all because of some coincidence he had with a rival from years ago.

it’s the bottom of the eleventh and the next batter is stepping up to the home plate. as xiao wipes the sweat on his face on the side of his arm, he catches a glimpse of the jumbotron and the last person he expects pops onto the large screen. kazuha’s there, waving at the camera with a group of people. the crowd goes wild and there are several cheers for kazuha’s name, some for ritou maple leafs . the baseball almost falls out of his hand from his loosening grip, xiao turns back to face the batter and attempts to calm the hummingbird-like fluttering of his heart.

he’s a livewire of nerves, he ends up throwing the two seamer a little too hard and it hits indrias’ mitt with a loud thud that doesn’t go unnoticed. thankfully, it’s a strike, but indrias shakes her head before throwing the ball back to him.

‘i’m getting distracted…’ xiao presses his lips into a thin line to suppress a sigh. if kazuha had been watching this whole time, then it would be no different now. kazuha had seen him as a blubbering, sobbing, almost eighteen year old mess— at twenty three, xiao’s evolved in ways that he hopes kazuha, in spite of everything, can be proud of. the nerves slowly dissipate from his body with xiao’s windup, he breathes in deeply from his nose before launching the next pitch into the air. 

two strikes later, the batter is out and they win this inning, giving them their final point to break the matchpoint. they’re making it to the finals.

in the postgame interviews, xiao expertly dodges every question that tries to lead into the question of kazuha’s presence at the game or xiao’s thoughts on the newest trashy article slandering his ability at getting a high end sponsorship. at the speed of light, xiao leaves the stadium to drive straight home, then spends his night looking up pictures to see if he hallucinated kazuha during the match in a rare moment of hopelessness to motivate him into winning.

several articles pop up of kazuha and his teammates spotted at the stadium and xiao feels his stomach churn. kazuha was only wearing a cap that covers the recognizable red streak of hair, which is rendered useless when you can still see his face underneath. xiao grits his teeth, he would’ve recognized kazuha in a heartbeat if he were any random passerby, how could he be so dumb to show up without a disguise?

still, he really was there. it’s not clear why he’d show up, and xiao is embarrassed to think that it was the push he needed to close the inning and win the game.

should he show up tomorrow? xiao hasn’t seen any of kazuha’s matches in person since their third year out of spite, though a tiny part of him knows it to be fear of distracting kazuha like he once did in the finals.

ultimately, xiao decides against it.

instead, he goes to the gym for his regular workout and holes himself there, ignoring any texts or calls just so he could stall the news for the winning team that makes it to the finals tomorrow. of course, it deters everybody except ganyu from spamming him with numerous texts until he gets the memo to check his phone for once when he arrives back home.

she sends him a video once he finally responds. ‘watch.’ she says, in capital letters. ‘to the end.’

he already knows it’s the seven stars and ritou match from the looks of the olive green haired ritou ace, on the mound. the video begins to play, from the score at the bottom it’s the bottom of the ninth and ritou is in the lead. the bases are loaded, undoubtedly upping the pressure of the game. ritou’s ace throws the ball and the batter hits it, a ground ball that heads towards third.

kazuha appears on screen, uniform caked in dirt as he hurriedly throws the ball back to first at an insane speed like it was nothing. a triple play is executed flawlessly, getting three out of four runners out— giving ritou the win.

as the cheers ring in the video, it settles it. yakshas will play against ritou maple leafs tomorrow. for the first time in half a decade, xiao and kazuha will come face to face again, out on the field no less. he’s not sure if they’re rivals anymore, given their stilted history, but this is their god given chance to play like they always wanted to.

winning the league matters and it would be amazing, but xiao wouldn’t mind it that much if they lost. all that matters is xiao plays his best against the only rival that ever mattered to him.

at the end of the week, the bustle of the stadium is packed just hours before the match even starts. there’s no doubt it’s a hyped up match— there have been posts uploaded on both teams’ social media and the major league’s own socials, videos of past matches garnering hundred thousands of views and interactive content on instagram riling up the fans' competitive spirit. the tickets sold out at a terrifyingly quick pace; if xiao wasn’t on the team he doubted he’d manage to get a ticket quick enough, even if it was in the nosebleeds. thankfully, zhongli and ganyu are guaranteed entry in the box, and his friends have astounding connections (note: xiao) to get front seat tickets to the game.

several banners of different players are put up outside the stadium and xiao reluctantly takes a picture below his banner after some goading from his team. in all honesty, if they weren’t around, he would’ve taken a selfie with kazuha’s. he posts the picture onto instagram, which leads to an influx of fans attempting the same pose with the banner, the foot traffic in that area now looks congested from where he’s watching in the stadium. it’s just as bad in the merch stands with the huge lines that spanned as far as the eye could see, the employees working double time to keep up with the overwhelming response of fans lining up.

they didn’t make it to this point last year, and xiao had forgone watching the final matches for his interviews and brand deals; it’s one of those times where it’s still a huge shock to see the colossal support both teams are receiving. while xiao always dreamed of playing in a stadium, lifted by the cheers of his supporters as he played, he never actually thought he would achieve it so soon.

sentiments aside, the roars of the crowds are vociferous when both teams step onto the field. the gray clouds rumble above, threatening rain on what was originally a sunny, cloudless day, not that it would slow him down anyway. it’s just a pain to work with the muddy ground and xiao hates the skin-crawling feeling of wet clothing sticking to his skin.

his heart uncontrollably beats so loud he feels like the whole of teyvat could hear it when they go to line up. he could just blame it on warming up in the bullpen and the several laps they ran,  but he knows it’s far from the actual truth. here xiao is, just a few meters away from kazuha, the closest they’ve ever been since they last met. the club two years ago doesn’t count, xiao still had the ability to hide himself from kazuha and run away before they could even meet. there’s no running away this time, complete with nowhere to hide; xiao isn’t planning on doing both when this is what they both wanted.

ritou is set to bat first, giving xiao the opportunity to warm up his restless hands and get a feel for their batting line up. yakshas never had a chance to come across this team last year, so xiao didn’t pay them any mind until kazuha signed with them earlier in the spring. it provided ample time to become familiar with some of their playstyles enough to discuss with indrias to form a strategy for certain players. 

one of which is kazuha, given his speed and strength as cleanup. it won’t be awhile until xiao gets to him in the roster, but xiao is certain he’ll get there fast enough before he gets switched with a reserve pitcher. nowadays, it’s a piece of cake to strike out the first three players at the start of each inning, xiao’s advantage as a newer southpaw pitcher helps his unpredictability. 

but not with kazuha.

the first inning ended with no runs, as expected from two tenacious teams.

xiao drags his foot across the dirt on the mound, eyes downcast on his position as the loudspeakers boom across the field with a name that’s just as thunderous to him. “batting fourth, number twenty nine, kaedehara kazuha!”

kazuha gets into the batting stance facing the left. there’s an uproar in the crowd, the announcers are babbling about how kazuha never bats to the left— but xiao hasn’t forgotten kazuha’s switch-hitting ability.

‘show off.’ he can’t let a smile slip onto his face, not with the cameras watching his every movement. it’ll only stir the brewing pot that’s been getting worse in the last week. nothing kazuha or xiao says stops the bashing on either side, but xiao refuses to give them any more ‘drama’ to fester more hate.

there’s the air of focus xiao once had playing against kazuha that blankets around them, a welcomed one he never thought he’d get to feel again. there’s no music or chants in the air, the bleachers are empty and xiao only sees kazuha in front of him. just the two of them, like it always should have been. if xiao had still hated him for everything he did and for the guilt he carried from that final match, he wonders if the rest of the world would still drown out as they stood across from each other.

xiao starts off his first pitch with a sinker.

over the years, it’s become one of his hardest to hit pitches, especially when he uses it as the first pitch to catch batters off guard. it clearly doesn’t break through kazuha’s iron-will when he swings at it almost immediately and lands soft contact on the ball, sending it hurling to the ground. the first baseman catches it and kazuha is tapped out.

xiao bites the inside of his cheek as kazuha passes by, and it takes everything in him not to continue watching him leave as the next batter steps up to the plate.

unfortunately, it’s always slow in the beginning when everyone is getting a feel for the situation. xiao’s body buzzes in anticipation to get to the real action, on the high of adrenaline coursing through his veins. it starts up as the innings begin to pass, xiao can’t keep his leg from shaking in the dugout after getting switched out as he watches their team go up to bat.

the green-haired starting pitcher of ritou doesn’t make it easy despite the amount of fastballs she throws in favor of throwing a breaking ball in between to kick up the pace. her winning changeup does its job well, a convincingly quick ball swift enough to be a fastball that baits their players into batting and straight up missing the ball. their keen eyed runners made it past, not without ritou catching up at the cost of yakshas’ reserve allowing runners through in an earlier inning. kazuha was one of them; xiao won’t ever admit that he was silently stewing at a different yakshas pitcher pitching against him.

the thunder grumbles again across the horizon as xiao is switched onto the field at the top of the seventh. the reserve did a good job at holding up the fort; xiao is determined to see this match all the way through and close it out. the audience chants for yakshas while he pitches, exploding into a burst of cheers as he picks off a runner stealing right before he throws the ball.

he’s been waiting for the feeling of dread from what leftover feelings he might have from spring finals, but it never comes. he’s had fun since the match started. the emotion doesn’t show on his face when he’s in the zone, though xiao makes little cheers to himself each time a batter gets striked out. yakshas’ defense goes all out, most of them have dirt all over their fronts from sliding into bases while batting but it doesn’t hinder their pristine performance on the field. all his teammates high five him when the teams switch, ruffling his hair and calling him their mvp. little xiao would’ve never believed a dream like this could ever come true, let alone heroes from his childhood praising and hailing him as one of their best players.

bonanus gets onto first base and now xiao is now up to bat, pulling on his gloves as he walks onto the field. at home plate, it never feels daunting to stand there knowing what it’s like on the other side. much to his dismay, ritou’s ace specializes in cutters against southpaw players. the soft contacts he gets with the ball don’t go far enough to allow him onto first base, not when the ball is already hurling towards said base before he can even make it.

he could sacrifice bunt and let bonanus advance, but xiao refuses to give a free out of desperation.

it’s difficult to pinpoint where the ball jams xiao’s batting, however xiao is prepared enough after two strikeouts to intently differentiate the cutter and regular fastball’s path to home plate. the pitcher winds up, kicks up her leg and throws the ball. xiao patiently waits until the last minute to watch the ball break down to the left, xiao bites his cheek and puts his might into hitting the ball.

it’s not soft contact by any means as it whizzes to the outer field, giving xiao the chance to run all the way to first. the next batter comes and xiao steps forward as much as he can in the base to prepare for the next run— it’s a big leadoff and the ace keeps glancing back to keep him in check— but xiao wants to at least score once for his team while he’s on base. ritou’s side of the game isn’t exactly a no hit, but they’ve been getting strikeouts to hinder yakshas’ performance to a degree. it’s a hard hit, one that echoes loudly as the third batter flawlessly hits like the slugger they are against ritou’s ace’s fastball, xiao doesn’t have time to check if it’s a homerun yet it must be long enough if the cheers for bonanus and yakshas filling the air mean anything.

wind whipping in his hair and legs burning from xiao’s sprint to third, kazuha has his arm outreached like he’s waiting for the ball to fly into it any time soon and xiao tosses a glance to the outfield and sees the right fielder already pulling their arm back to throw the ball. xiao’s heart lurches in his chest and he curses his impatience, it leads him to bite the inside of his cheek at the thought of mud on his still clean uniform but he still kicks his foot forward to slide on the wet ground. the slide is swift thanks to the mud, and he lands right onto the base, just a bare millisecond before kazuha is nearly caging him with onto the ground one hand, the baseball in the other.

“safe!”

time stops for a moment.

xiao watches the bob of kazuha’s adam’s apple as he stares up at him, his heart close to exploding into a billion pieces from the closest proximity they’ve ever been in since they last met. he’s still gorgeous to look at, even with the mud streaking his cheek and sweat dripping down his forehead, it’s almost heartwrenching when xiao has to break the eye contact after what feels like forever. kazuha leans back and everything comes back into focus. xiao gets up, frowning at how his ears are feeling stupidly hot.

as much as xiao has been harping on the fact that he’s been waiting all his life to go head to head against kazuha, he never thought about how he’d act on third base with him there. if they were still friends, they would’ve had their overt banter before having to focus on their respective roles. in the present, they are just strangers, never mind the years of history inlaid between them.

it’s deafeningly silent the entire time they watch the cleanup hitter at home base. xiao doesn’t even try at throwing any glimpses at him in fear of what he might see in kazuha’s eyes, not right after they were just heart stoppingly close. he’s embarrassed at letting such a mess happen in front of possibly the whole world, he’s praying and hoping that the news outlets and fans won’t use it as ammunition to attack them with some nonsensical title like ‘ ritou maple leafs’ kaedehara almost jumps yakshas’ xiao on the field: a list of his other accomplishments in the match!’.

xiao almost doesn’t make it back to home after the soft contact the next cleanup hitter makes with the ball, it bounces near first base and xiao has to run before the ball flies back to the home plate. there’s a burst of adrenaline spurring him onto running like his life depended on it as the shortstop gets hold of the ball and he makes it onto base safely, earning yakshas another point. 

xiao laughs breathlessly as he goes back to the dugout, and bosacius looks knowingly at him enough to make him stop. “what?”

“nothing, you look like you’re having fun.” bosacius grins, before pulling him to ruffle his already messy helmet hair. “i’m glad.”

the nerves and anxiety-inducing feelings from back then have yet to rear their ugly faces, not that he’s sure if it ever will, but xiao feels like he can breathe a sigh of relief. the teams switch after a couple more points on yaksha's end and xiao is pitching once more.

maybe xiao shouldn’t have spoken so soon upon the second batter getting a hit on his changeup and the third batter managing to bat his sinker far enough to advance both of them in bases. there’s no dread seeing kazuha walk up to home plate, but that doesn’t stop xiao’s stomach from flipping out of nervousness anyway. there’s no player that fearlessly breaks through xiao’s carefully put up walls around his composure like kazuha does.

kazuha bends his knees, ready to bunt, and xiao narrows his eyes. the second and third base runners are quick enough to get far ahead if kazuha bunts based on previous matches, and even if they don’t, kazuha getting onto base from one solid bunt will still be a pain in the ass. at the corner of his eye, the team shortstop is close enough to get the second runner out if indrias catches the ball quickly enough, and xiao trusts the shortstop enough to throw the ball back to first in time for kazuha to get tapped out.

xiao throws a fastball— it’s simple and gets the job done especially if kazuha is intent on bunting, but xiao eats his words as kazuha pulls back in record speed and sends it flying like a comet. for a split second, xiao swears he once saw the shooting stars he last saw in the countryside like in his childhood soar alongside the baseball. it lands in the stands and the crowd erupts into a roar of cheers and chants as all the players run, kazuha doing leisure jog around the diamond with glee casted on the jumbotron. 

instead of any anger or grief burning up in him, xiao laughs. kazuha pulled the same exact trick back then in the training camp and xiao fell for it just as he did in the present. the jumbotron shows the little kid that picked the ball up and xiao can’t bring himself to be mad, it is an exhilarating rush to see kazuha at his strongest.

as kazuha passes by third, the butterflies return as xiao catches his gaze and the world falls into slow motion. the homerun could’ve been what they had back in the spring finals, would xiao be a fool to think that this is possibly kazuha’s way of returning that promise?

in retaliation for the homerun, xiao gets three outs with a three play— the batter at home base gets out after the soft contact with xiao’s screwball, xiao doesn’t break a sweat as he throws the ball back to third for the out and the ball then flies to first, before the shortstop gets hold of it and slides onto home plate and gets the runner out.

xiao smiles at the camera when their teams switch places, and mouths ‘i’m winning those points back’, earning a good amount of screams from the stadium.

it’s fun to go back and forth with the points in what’s supposed to be a grueling match, xiao’s determination triumphs the remainder of the game and before they know it, it’s the top of the twelfth and he needs to break the matchpoint this time if he wants to win. it’s not like xiao cares as much anymore, it’s not the end of xiao’s career after the tremendous effort he’s put into the game season to make up for dragging his team with him during the peak of the industry plant allegations.

he’s not at his wit’s end yet, so he goes along with whatever calls indrias sends him and diligently picks off runners if he’s given the chance. with the best of xiao’s abilities, their half of the inning ends with just a single runner. if yakshas get two more points, they’ll be able to break the matchpoint and earn them their win.

menogias pats him on the shoulder before he’s off for cleanup, “leave it to us, you’ve done well this match.”, he says, and xiao can only nod in response. regardless of how the match goes, xiao doesn’t think the rumors would die any time soon. they’ll be calling him all sorts of new names for beating kazuha just as he returned from his hiatus and if he lost? the allegations would continue and xiao’s ability to play would be undermined until who knows when.

xiao worries the bottom of his lip with his teeth, clutching onto his water bottle while watching the match. was he naive to think that playing together would solve all their problems? kazuha would still bear the brunt of xiao’s scandal, and maybe in his two year break, he no longer thought of xiao anymore. but his fake bunt, the switch hitting and homerun; it’s all an echo of what kazuha used to do back when they played together, it’s their promise engraved into the wooden plaques all the way in inazuma— as stupid as it is, xiao can’t help himself from holding onto that hope.

in the midst of his thoughts, menogias hits the ball right out of the stadium. quite literally. the ball flies out, nowhere to be seen, a grand slam that brings their runners right home. yakshas win by four points and their brought out onto the field at this year’s major league worlds champion.

it doesn’t even feel real as they take a picture with the trophy, his team must be used to it by now from the amount of seasons they've won in the past while xiao was growing up, and xiao shakes like a leaf during the entire photoshoot and especially while they’re shaking hands with ritou maple leafs for the win.

it is inevitable to come across kazuha, his hand is already outstretched before xiao gets to him and he has to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes as they wordlessly shake hands. a thunder strikes somewhere in the distance, the air is cold but kazuha’s touch is molten hot on his skin. it’s a firm grip, kazuha’s calloused hands are familiar and xiao bites the inside of his cheek to suppress the smile pulling at his lips. he can’t decipher the fiery look in kazuha’s eyes, but the small smile he sports scrambles xiao’s brain hard enough for every speech xiao every wrote to self destruct.

just as the beginning of a sentence begins to form on the tip of his tongue, there’s a teammate coming to pull xiao away for a postgame interview. xiao’s face drops as kazuha walks off, he curses at himself for becoming a bumbling idiot when he could’ve said literally anything about meeting after the match for a chat— but no! he was rendered speechless, and was a gaping fish as he walked away.

the answers he gives the interviewer are all curt and sharp, he’s not exactly in the mood to talk to anyone after he passed up his chance to say something to kazuha; xiao’s plan has been thrown off course and he’s not sure what to do anymore.

he refuses rides to the afterparty that will happen later that night. xiao would prefer to be swaddled up in his blanket to come up with a different plan to talk to kazuha, and he returns home with his family and friends to celebrate his win at his father’s house.

his father is heating up his favorite bamboo shoot stew while gaming helps prepare the side dishes and xiao actively tries not to wallow in his own misery on the couch.

“so, why exactly are you here and not talking to kaedehara gege? what happened to the ‘i’m totally going to talk to him’ attitude you had?” ganyu pokes his arm with a finger, insistent.

xiao grumbles and swats at her hand. “you can call me a fool all you want, there just wasn’t a good time to talk about it. i couldn’t find him after the interview was over.” there were multiple other ritou team members still present, however none of them had seen where kazuha went off to with his moms after the match was over.

ganyu gapes at him with a disbelieving stare. “you… you loser!”

“ganyu’s right for calling you a loser.” chongyun huffs, shaking his head in disapproval.

“stop that!” xiao wails, burying his head into his hands. “i’ll think of something!” just not now. he has plans to lay in bed for the entire evening and replay the match in his mind before succumbing to his own embarrassment and thinking over their last interaction together.

“you don’t have to think of anything, because i have a plan!” xingqiu suddenly pipes up from where he sat in the corner, and he gets up to shove his phone in xiao’s face. it’s kazuha’s instagram story, a picture of heizou driving with the caption ‘getting a free ride to the afterparty’ pasted onto the bottom. “kaedehara’s going to the afterparty. you have to go.”

xiao blanches at the thought. “but there’s going to be multiple other teams there, and it’s happening in a bar! i don’t think we’d be able to talk about anything.”

ganyu flicks him right in the forehead and ignores his yelp. “stop making excuses! pull him outside or something!”

“the bar isn’t as bad as the club, i’m sure you’ll find a place to talk.” chongyun says, also ignoring the pointed glare xiao sends him.

“plus, i’ll help dress you up again so you can look hot!” xingqiu and chongyun clap to ganyu’s dramatic hair flip as she extends an arm to xiao.

which is how xiao finds himself sitting on his bed as ganyu digs through his closet. she throws his black turtleneck and a light brown coat at him, along with a pair of tight fitting pants he hasn’t worn in a year. she clips his hair back, grumbling about his flawless skin as she lines his eyes with red eyeliner. 

“i’m not going to make you too hot, otherwise kaedehara gege’s going to get too distracted to listen to your apology.” she grins, adding a hint of color to his lips with a lip tint.

xiao experimentally smacks his lips together, checking the mirror to check his appearance. he has to admit that ganyu did a great job of adding subtle makeup to highlight his features, the red eyeliner is stark against the dark teal of his hair and brightens his eyes. “i don’t know about going... papa made his soup already and—”

“papa will understand! just go, gege.” ganyu leans back on his bed and grabs his gloves from his side table, ratty and old from use despite its history. in his defense, the material is undeniably good. “it’s going to get cold, so don’t forget these!”

xiao stares at them, before looking back up at his sister with a soft smile. she’ll forever be his biggest supporter and xiao will forever be hers, too. “...thank you, meimei.” he leans forward to envelop her in a crushing hug, relieved to see how well she’s grown, and she hugs him back just as tight.

his friends wolf whistle and yell out corny pick up lines when he steps out from his room, xiao rolls his eyes and laughs when his father looks around the corner from the kitchen and asks about the ruckus. he apologizes for having to leave so early, promising he’ll be back soon after he deals with his ‘mess’ at the afterparty. zhongli simply hugs him in response and wishes him luck with kazuha, which xiao accepts with a flustered face.

it’s a nerve wracking drive to the bar. thunder from the afternoon still hasn’t ceased its rumblings, the dark gray clouds blot out the stars of the night sky. xiao mindlessly thinks about whether or not he remembered to stash his umbrella in the back to distract him from the mind numbing thought of confronting kazuha after five years. it gets too much and xiao has to stop at the side of the road to connect his phone to the bluetooth and blast original soundtrack ballads from dramas to rid his brain of any anxiety-inducing thoughts.

thirty minutes later after reimagining his entire relationship with kazuha like they were the leads in a drama, he reaches the city and finds the bar where the after party is held. he parks in a nearby park just so he could avoid the possible reporters milling around the area, it’s better to be safe even if there are security detail present in the establishment. it also gives him enough time to hype himself up while walking to the bar, chanting ‘he still thinks of you’ in his head, but nothing dispels his nerves even as he reaches the entrance.

the urge to run away is so strong that xiao almost high-tails it out of there when the security detail ask him for identification— he curses the fact that he should’ve come in with his team— eventually he gets let in after they find him on the list. he resists the urge to wring his fingers as he steps into the building, light jazz music filtering through the open doors leading him into the bar’s open area. several people spot him and wave quicker than xiao expected anyone to, his teammates included, and he inclines his head out of politeness as he weaves through the tables.

he has no intentions in mingling tonight and replies with sharp and short answers to whoever comes up to him. he doesn’t care if it earns him a reputation of being arrogant and unapproachable, xiao is on a mission tonight and he needs to get it done and over with before it eats him up for the inside.

nonetheless, there’s no sign of kazuha anywhere, so he goes up to the bar and orders a drink. as much as he needs the liquid courage to find kazuha and talk to him, xiao ends up settling with sparkling water, and even gets the fancy mint leaf topped atop the ice. despite the very real possibility of him crying his eyes out in his car by the end of the night, he’s not exactly looking to drown his worries with this choice of poison.

he absentmindedly chews at his straw while glancing around the room, there are several other parts of the bar like the outdoor swimming pool and billiard rooms somewhere that he could still check. what is he even doing here? it’s possible that kazuha didn’t even come and xingqiu mistook it for the same afterparty. in a room full of people, xiao sits alone by the bar and looks for a person who might not want to even talk to him.

he’s starting to feel stupid sitting there, so he finishes his drink in one go and decides he might just go home after one search around the place. after finding nobody at the pool, he bumps into some ritou players. they don’t make small talk with him, they simply pointed in the direction of the billiard room for kazuha with pointed grins.

he’s actually here.

xiao sucks in a deep breath, the soothing jazz notes fading when he walks to the billiards room, heart threatening to pound right out of his chest as he nears it. there’s a heart-fluttering laugh resounding through the walls, xiao peaks through and finds kazuha playing pool against heizou, pneuma’s lyney and seven stars’ childe. kazuha, dressed in a red button up with the sleeves rolled up for all to see his arms, leans against the table and with a strike of his hand, shoots the pool stick forward and manages to lurch three balls into the holes. he looks devastatingly good.

he cheers, laughing when his opponents wail with that sunny laugh of his that melts xiao at his core— until he turns his head and suddenly, kazuha’s gaze falls onto him.

“oh, hey, xiao!” heizou says, beckoning to come closer by the table, lyney and childe nodding in acknowledgement. there’s a flash of something that passes by kazuha’s face in a split second, like he’s taking in xiao’s presence there, and regret begins to bite at xiao’s gut in a way that makes him want to run.

xiao carefully treads across the floor, as if he might step on a triggering landmine in kazuha’s boundaries. he stands next to heizou, awkwardly staring down at the pool table to avoid kazuha’s gaze.

this is it. this is what he’s been waiting for ever since they stopped talking. they’ve missed out five years of each other’s lives. they can start anew if xiao just manages to get his mind straight and talk to him.

“congrats on the win, xiao!” heizou gives him a side hug that xiao stiffly returns, “i didn’t know you were planning on coming, you know, kazuha was just—”

“heizou.” kazuha says, tone stern. xiao’s gaze flickers back up and finds kazuha still looking at him. “xiao, you—

“sorry, i can just leave.” the words come tumbling out of his mouth, xiao slaps a hand over his mouth. fuck. that was absolutely not what xiao meant to say and he interrupted kazuha. the responding silence is awful and xiao can’t bear to look up as he squeezes heizou’s shoulder in silent apology and proceeds to practically run out of the room.

he’s running away.

“you’re so stupid. you haven’t changed a single bit.” xiao hisses at himself, bumping past several people in the process as he briskly walks out the bar. he doesn’t know why there are tears welling up in his eyes, though it might be the frustration and not being able to get his shit together just for one moment and blowing whatever chance he has at reconciling with kazuha. 

a freezingly cold wind bites at his face as he exits, a turbulent thunderstorm outside pours with no end in sight and xiao curses at leaving his stupid umbrella in the car. the only good thing to come out of this is the absence of reporters outside, xiao is free to storm off into the rain and instantly feel the chill racking through his body from the cold rain showering down on him. the rain soaks through his coat in an uncomfortable way and xiao’s hair turns into a sopping mess just in the four steps he manages to take, what a stupid fucking day—

“xiao!”

xiao whips his head in the direction of the voice and finds kazuha at the entrance of the bar, neck now wrapped in a ratty red scarf while he’s attempting to shrug his coat on.

“what are you doing? come back inside!” kazuha yells, his eyes wide like he’s concerned— maybe for the atrocious state xiao’s in. his hair is soaked all the way through and he can feel the beginnings of the rain seeping through his turtleneck, his pants are annoyingly wet and xiao’s makeup is most likely running down his face in ugly rivulets. the only way this could get worse is if kazuha decides he wants nothing to do with xiao ever again.

“i’m not going back inside.” xiao steps back on the wet pavement, another chill going down his body as the wind begins to pick up. “you should go.”

“don’t be ridiculous!” kazuha shoots back. he looks up at the sky with a frown, then back down at xiao’s soaked figure. “the rain is going to worsen, come on, don’t be stubborn.”

“and what if that’s what i want?” xiao grits out. every emotion from these last five years are starting to cascade down upon him like the battering rain, none of the scenarios and conversations xiao has ever dreamed of saying to kazuha appear in his head. he’s fucking it up beyond belief. “don’t come after me. it’s not worth it.”

like heeding his calls, the raindrops striking the ground grow heavier, xiao bites his lip and turns on his heel to run to his car. he’ll stay there and cry for five minutes before making the drive back to his loved ones. never mind kazuha, xiao doesn’t think he’d ever be able to completely face him without being a mess. if xiao is kazuha, he doesn’t think he would forgive himself for every single stupid thing he did, not when kazuha only ever thought of him.

he’s not sure if it’s the tears in his eyes or rain that blurs his vision as he runs, the cold nipping at his face as xiao tries to suppress the sobs from leaking out from his throat. he doesn’t get very far, his car is just across the park— xiao flails around upon slipping on the slippery roads and nearly tumbles onto the wet ground— there’s a hand steadying him that stops his feet from giving out.

it feels warm through xiao’s soaked gloves, xiao lowers his arm and swallows the lump in his throat the moment he comes face to face with kazuha’s drenched figure. his bangs stick to his face, his coat doing very little to block out the rain from his button up and the scarf he wears has turned into a sopping wet cloth that hangs heavily around his neck. despite the soft touch of his hand, he’s looking at xiao with a pained scowl.

“could you stop running away? is that all you do? run?” kazuha says, eyes searching xiao’s. the rain thunders above and xiao can barely hear his words, yet it doesn’t stop them from hurting just as bad. “talk to me, xiao, instead of running away. please.”

xiao’s pride stands in the way of admitting defeat to kazuha, it’s childish when he feels the almost eighteen year old version of himself return with vehement frustration. “what is there to talk about? spring finals?”

“you never let me explain myself! you just ran before i could say anything, and after that you never responded to my texts” kazuha argues, his free hand coming up to run through his wet hair.

“there was nothing to explain. we both fucked up and it’s in the past. all things considered, you don’t need to care about me.” xiao chokes on a sob at the end of his sentence. this isn’t the way he thought their meeting would’ve happened. it was supposed to go better, more civil, one where he wasn’t just a word away from breaking down in the middle of the street. instead, xiao’s actively arguing against kazuha and looks like an idiot more than ever. “look, you don't need to like me. you don’t need to pretend to care and we can just move on like nothing ever happened—”

kazuha drops his hand and xiao clenches his empty fist from the loss of warmth. his heart aches with a hurt so unbelievable, a hurt he hasn’t felt so strong since that one spring day. it’s better for the both of them, xiao has inadvertently dragged him into his problems and kazuha doesn’t have to keep up this act of being nice just to dispel the rumors.

xiao thinks he’s really done it when kazuha mutters something so quiet under his breath, drowned out by the raindrops beating down around them. “…what did you say?”

“i said, i can’t!” kazuha yells out. there’s tears shining in his eyes underneath all the rain, his face contorted in pain.  “i never stopped thinking of you! i couldn’t, because i didn’t want to; all because i foolishly thought that i still had a chance to prove myself to you— even if you didn’t want to talk to me, even if you wanted to be with heizou!”

xiao flinches at the mention of heizou. “you knew?”

there’s no humor in kazuha’s responding laugh, he gazes at xiao with a pain so palpable that it strikes xiao down to his very core. “weren’t you there at the club two years ago?”

“back when… kunikuzushi and you…” xiao breathes out, voice trailing off as the regret sinks into his stomach. there’s a prevalent shake in his voice as he looks up and says, “you saw me?”

“how could i not? you were the most beautiful person i saw there. you were all i saw on the dancefloor, even as you danced with someone else.” kazuha doesn’t whisper, nor does he falter when he speaks. his voice is resolute, xiao almost crumples as the pain seizes his heart and draws a watery sigh from his throat at the revelation. even as they stand out here in the middle of a storm, both on the verge of tears, kazuha still finds it in himself to mess with his feelings.

“you— i—” xiao stifles a sob by biting his lip, trembling, racking down his freezing body. the rain isn’t letting up any time soon but xiao refuses to break down and cry, no matter how difficult it becomes to hold in his tears.

“back then, if i wasn’t so busy crying my eyes out, i would’ve walked right up to you and explained what happened in spring finals. unfortunately, it led to the whole scandal with kuni happening, and everything became too much to bear.” kazuha laughs again, just as humorless. he doesn’t look like he’s lying, though xiao can’t understand why he’d be crying when xiao saw him happily talking with kunikuzushi.

xiao sniffles, blinking back more tears. kazuha continues in his silence, “then i saw you debut with yakshas, in the pro league just as you’ve always wanted, just as i left. the whole ‘industry plant’ rumor spread, and i came back because i know that they’d never scout you for those reasons. i came back not only to help dispel the rumors, but also because i thought that this was my chance to finally play with you again! i came back because i want to try again.”

“it’s not worth being friends with me. we— i— “ xiao huffs a frustrating breath as his throat closes up around the lump. “i messed up too many times. don’t ruin yourself by being friends with me! seriously, you should just go back to the bar. i’m going home, and i’ll pretend we never talked about what happened to us.”

if they became friends again and forgot everything that happened in the past, xiao still has his feelings for him. he wouldn’t be able to handle all the meaningless flirting, and eventually he would witness kazuha go off with someone he truly loved. one who isn’t xiao with all his baggage, burdens and problems.

the rain has turned into a torrential downpour around them. xiao is certain his clothes are soaked right through and he won’t leave without catching some type of cold— maybe pneumonia. there’s a big puddle forming underneath them and only xiao’s boots keep his socks dry, though time would tell if it’ll stay that way. nevertheless, xiao is an unmoving force, his pride is close to shattering into a million pieces and his heart will follow right after they’re done with this conversation. they’ll both leave and xiao will never find it in himself to ever attempt another conversation with kazuha, no matter if they meet on or off the field.

the silence between them breaks and xiao snaps his head up. it’s quiet, kazuha’s voice, so soft under the rain that xiao’s ears only manage to pick up the words: “... you …. that …”

“what?”

“... understand… i … you!” kazuha tries again, a bit louder this time, but the rain has been pouring so damn hard in the last minute that his voice melds together with the thunder strikes and raindrops.

xiao steps closer and shakes his head. the rain drops are beating down on his head and everywhere else that really, he can’t hear unless they’re closer. “what? i can’t hear you!”

kazuha cups his hands together, like a makeshift microphone, and yells seemingly with all his might: “why can’t you understand that i’m in love with you, xiao?!”

the thunder booms right then and there, punctuating kazuha’s declaration. xiao’s body feels numb from the cold, freezing feeling that seeps into his veins. this could still be some practical joke to knock him down a peg. “you… what?”

“i’m in love with you!” kazuha shouts again, just as loud, with a conviction that triumphs over the thunderous sky. xiao’s pulse astronomically jumps when kazuha continues to talk. “i loved you since that day at the shrine, i loved you even when you walked out of my life, i loved you when i saw you with someone else, and i still love you now!”

xiao brings his hands up to clutch at his chest, to still his beating heart, and he adamantly shakes his head as kazuha’s words begin to chip away at his composure bit by bit. “you can’t—, you— you can’t just say things you don’t mean!”

“from the very beginning, the only thing i ever wanted was to see you again! i never cared about winning or becoming famous, i turned down those offers back then because i wanted to wait for you. it’s all because i love you!” kazuha’s shouting would be heard by the rest of the world if it wasn't storming. there’s something different about hearing those words come out of kazuha’s own mouth than what heizou had told him, if xiao had hoped it was true then, he wants to believe it now.

“i told you to never care about me and to focus on yourself! what if i ruin your dreams? what if i become a burden— hell, a distraction— to you? what if i’d never be good enough to amount to what you expect of me?” xiao is protesting just to protect his own heart in case of the very possible heartbreak that comes out of this. it’s stupid and it’s stubborn but xiao can’t help his defenses from fortifying at the thought of opening his heart once again.

“you’d never be any of those things to me.” kazuha says sternly. he takes a step forward, his face of frustration softening to one akin to the tender looks he’s held so, so long ago. “if you never meant anything, i would’ve never fulfilled our wish. i wouldn’t have worked as hard as i did to get to you, because it was no kami or fate that brought us together again. do you ever notice that nobody can ever recall me switch hitting, because i’ve only bat from the left for you? i hit that homerun today just to show i never stopped thinking about you. i caught your smile when that ball flew. you cared just as much, didn’t you?”

“what?” xiao sucks in a breath and stares at the ground. kazuha’s nice looking dress shoes come into view, the water droplets falling onto the leather and slipping off it’s smooth surface. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“i watch your matches, you know? last year, you didn’t look as fired up as you did now. especially against silencers. you wanted to win so we could meet as rivals, right?” when they’re this close, kazuha doesn’t have to shout or yell. the words ring through xiao’s ears and he flushes in embarrassment. “admit it. you still remember our promise.”

xiao’s gaze flickers up and he suppresses a gasp at how close kazuha is. if kazuha takes a step forward, he’d crash right into xiao. they’d be chest to chest and xiao’s heart is on the verge of combusting into flames, the butterflies in his stomach uselessly fluttering about. “i don’t— i don’t know…”

“tell me. say that you don’t care about our promise. say that you don’t care about me, and i’ll leave you alone for good.” there’s the slightest shake in kazuha’s voice, just enough for xiao to scrunch his eyes shut and feel the hot tears sliding down his cold cheeks. he hears the shuffle of kazuha’s clothing as he shifts closer, their shoes touch and xiao can feel kazuha’s warm puffs of breath hitting his cheek.

“i…” xiao murmurs, wringing his gloved fingers. they’re useless now, it’s just as cold with them on but there’s nothing colder than xiao’s hands from the fear slipping in. if he admits it and lets kazuha in like he once did, would kazuha really be okay with the person xiao is?

“if you tell me that you don’t care about any of this anymore and you never want to see me again, then i can live with that.” kazuha’s voice drops to a whisper, just low enough for him to hear underneath the rain. “if you tell me to go, i’ll leave right now and we can pretend none of this ever happened.”

xiao sighs deeply, his teary eyes fluttering open to look into kazuha’s. kazuha, with his drenched hair and red-rimmed eyes, looks at him with an expectant smile. “you could have anybody else in the world. why do you still want me?”

kazuha smiles, brilliant amongst the enveloping sea of darkness around them. “the rest of the universe doesn’t hold a candle to you. everything i’ve done up to this point has been on purpose, all for the purpose of loving you. in my eyes, there’s nobody else who can match you. you’ll forever be my greatest rival and the love of my life.”

the world holds its breath as it falls silent, only the sound of the falling rain remains. kazuha’s words make their way to xiao’s heart and settle over there like a comforting warmth that spreads throughout his entire body. 

kazuha doesn’t move, waiting for him with such patience like he always had. 

for xiao. 

on purpose.

“i’m scared,” xiao croaks hoarsely as he completely falls apart, an unending stream of tears dropping down to the ground. it’s humiliating how his vulnerability renders his voice into a broken whisper. “i don’t want to do something stupid and lose you again. i was terrified back then, and i’m still afraid now.”

“i’ll be here, no matter what happens, i promise. we’ve already been through so much without ever seeing each other in the last five years.” kazuha’s close enough that he could lean his head on xiao’s shoulder, close enough for xiao’s arms to wrap around his neck and pull him in. 

his lips wobble as he looks up, exhaling another trembling breath. “i’m sorry for everything.”

it’s a long, overdue apology. it’s not enough to completely explain his actions back when he was an irrational teenager, and it’s not enough for the current situation of xiao’s allegations. it’s not enough to explain the overwhelming feelings he holds at the moment, despite how xiao has spent years trying to figure out how to put what he feels into words.

but he thinks now, he’s confident in a phrase that’s enough to convey what he means.

kazuha somberly smiles and nods. “it’s okay, i understand—”

xiao doesn’t blurt them out. he says it softly, a tender tone that he hopes translates well enough into his voice.

“i love you, too.”

he doesn’t have enough time to gauge for kazuha’s reaction as he makes the push forward into kazuha’s arms, his shoulders sagging with relief as kazuha’s arms wrap around him in a bone-crushing hug. their wet clothes are sticking to them and they’re shivering like leaves in the wind from how long they’ve stood in the rain, yet xiao’s cheeks burn and hot tears slip down his cheeks and finally holding kazuha after being separated for the longest, most unbearable time. there’s nothing that could tear him away from what he’s yearned for so many years.

“oh, xiao, i love you so, so much.” kazuha whispers into his ear, loud over xiao’s pounding heartbeat, one of his hands gently holding the back of xiao’s head. “you don’t know how much i missed you.”

“i missed you just as much.” xiao chokes out, slightly muffled by kazuha’s scarf. he clings onto kazuha’s coat for dear life and is a blubbering mess through his tears. “i wanted to go to your comeback matches, but i was afraid that i might cause more problems for you.”

kazuha pulls back just enough for him to look at him properly. “you’d never.”

it tears out another sob from xiao’s throat and he sniffles, embarrassed at how much he’s crying. wiping away his tears, he thinks that he hasn’t cried this bad in a long time.

“you’re going to irritate your eyes—” kazuha gently holds his hand and he intertwines their fingers together as he closely looks at the material. “you’re wearing the gloves i gave you on new years.”

“and you’re still wearing the scarf i gave you?” xiao asks in turn, brushing back kazuha’s hair.

“how could i not? i never stopped; the person i love the most gave it to me.” kazuha leans closer with a chuckle, his forehead almost pressing against xiao’s own. his eyes flicker down when xiao chews at his bottom lip, his own mouth slightly dropping to lick his lips. xiao tilts his head up, their noses brush and his breath hitches when kazuha’s hand caresses his face, thumb brushing his lip. “your lip is going to bleed if you keep doing that.”

“just kiss me already—!” is the last thing xiao blurts until kazuha is pushing forward and is finally, finally kissing him. his mouth on xiao’s is a blazing heat enough to warm xiao’s body from the freezing cold rain, it’s everything that has xiao’s eyes fluttering shut as he’s pressing his body against kazuha’s to fit like a perfect puzzle. there’s nothing else xiao hears except for the roaring blood in his ears and the sound escaping his throat swallowed up by kazuha’s lips slotting against his awaiting mouth, a rising giddiness swirling in his gut.

there’s something about kissing in the rain, holding onto kazuha like an anchor in a world of dizzying kisses; everything feels so right down to the cliche of kissing kazuha in the rain that xiao can’t even complain. he’s too high on the euphoria of knowing he’s loved by someone who loves him just as much.

the thunder crashes and claps above them like it was applauding them for finally getting their shit together, xiao laughs into the kiss at the ridiculous thought, and it quickly turns into a gasp as a spark of heat courses through him when kazuha’s hand kneads his waist. xiao’s body arches into him from the pleasure and he revels in the little groan he pulls from kazuha when tugging at his hair. whatever smug feeling xiao has leaves his body as kazuha slips a hand underneath his sweater, his cold fingertips graze skin that lights a fire up his abdomen, resulting in an embarrassing squeak into kazuha’s mouth.

kazuha pulls back and laughs at xiao’s red face before xiao sneezes with the force of a volcanic eruption— it’s loud and so unsexy to sneeze when he’s already snotty and teary eyed from crying, though it doesn’t deter kazuha from digging into his pocket for a tissue packet and wiping his face with a mass of soggy tissue.

once he’s snot free, kazuha places a chaste kiss on xiao’s mouth with a smirk. “as much as i love kissing you, i think we should head back. the others got worried when you just ran out of there. also, we’re freezing. we’ll probably get sick by the end of this.”

“i have a better plan,” xiao loops his arms over kazuha’s shoulders, giddily smiling with a teasing look in his eyes. “do you want to come back to my place?”

it’s hard not to miss the heated look that flashes in kazuha’s eyes. “oh?”

half an hour later, they end up on the doorstep of his father’s home looking like a couple of drowned rats.

“i thought you said we’re going back to your place.”

“…does this not count?”

once ganyu opens the door they’re quickly ushered into the house, his little sister is both flabbergasted and elated for them until turns into a round of her and xiao’s friends chiding them for standing out in the rain.

they change in his room and xiao has to remind himself that no, he can’t jump kazuha when his family and friends are present, but the looks kazuha sends him as he’s pulling his shirt up is making it exceedingly difficult not to. the red button up was already doing things to him in his car when it practically clung to kazuha’s skin, showing off the muscle underneath the fabric all the while kazuha’s hand lay on top of his thigh for the entire ride. it was a miracle xiao didn’t crash the car. it’s only fair xiao gets to make a show of peeling his pants off and throwing them in kazuha’s direction after kazuha stares too long at his back, hilariously hitting his face with a wet slap.

a loud knock interrupts them in the middle of their tease-off and earns them another scolding, this time from gaming. “you better not be doing anything in there! xiao’s meimei is in the house and zhongli-shushu is going to chase you off the premises! also we’re here to beat you up if you do anything terrible to him!”

when they sit side by side at the dining table and across from xiao’s friends and family, they all look between them with looks of anticipation that make xiao pinch the bridge of his nose.

zhongli serves them the bamboo shoot stew that’s been simmering on the stove for god knows how long and kazuha immediately digs in after a loud “thanks for the food!”, his father grins and sends xiao a look that screams ‘so… are you two…?’.

they’re mid meal and xiao is on his second helping of stew, kazuha wipes away a piece of meat stuck onto his lip with his thumb like it is the most natural thing in the world, it’s a display of affection most likely embarrassing enough for ganyu to pipe up with her thoughts: “you two are dating, right?”

xiao coughs and almost hacks up a chunk of the bamboo shoot, while kazuha pats his back and looks at him with a worried glance. “are you okay, sweetheart? here, let me get you a glass of water—”

sweetheart? never mind how xiao’s eyes nearly pop out from his head at the pet name, his friends and ganyu hold varying expressions ranging from fondness to unadulterated disgust. “forget i asked! i’m happy for you guys, bla bla bla, whatever!”

zhongli brings him a glass of water and pats his hand on kazuha’s shoulder, gleefully telling him that he’s “glad that it’s someone like you taking care of xiao, i’m glad you’ll be my future son in law!”. kazuha, without breaking a sweat, nods with a determination that has xiao’s cheeks furiously flushing within seconds.

the pleasant conversation continues on into the night, xiao is endlessly teased for his stubbornness but he knows his loved ones mean well. his friends make him swear to have a proper talk about what went on at the bar and he’s engulfed in a group hug just as they’re leaving.

by the end of it, xiao’s laying next to kazuha on his bed in his childhood bedroom, having been forced to stay the night by his father in case the both of them end up sick from how long they were out in the rain. kazuha’s rubbing circles into his back and has a leg thrown over his, trapping xiao in his hold, which has xiao’s brain buffering as he’s close to falling asleep.

“we’re dating, right?” xiao asks. he feels the breathy laugh escaping kazuha’s chest and he blushes from how dumb the question sounds after all that has been said.

kazuha leans forward and brushes his bangs back to press a warm kiss on his forehead. “if you want.”

“stop teasing me.” xiao frowns. “i’m just making sure… we still have a lot to talk about.”

“things like what happened back when i saw you at the club?”

xiao juts his bottom lip out at the thought of kazuha seeing him at the club. “yeah. i didn’t know you actually saw me. i had seen you earlier with kunikuzushi and i didn’t want you to see me, so i went to dance with heizou.”

“both you and heizou have one of the most recognizable hairstyles ever, i don’t know how you thought you got away with it.” kazuha chuckles into the little space between them. “i thought for sure you knew i was looking at you, i mean, you hid behind heizou right after i looked.”

“and you cried because of that?”

“one, i was drunk from drinking with kuni, which explains why i was so clingy with him, but obviously the tabloids don’t know anything about that. and two, of course i cried!” kazuha pokes a finger right at the center of xiao’s forehead. “i don’t see you for three years after you run off, and the next time i do, you're in the arms of another man.”

“for the record, we never had anything serious,” xiao still thinks that the fling was one of his worst ideas, but that doesn’t stop him from attempting to explain his irrational thinking. “i thought you were dating kunikuzushi! and— and i was still thinking i hated you for what you did back in spring finals.”

“it just stung to see you together with him. kuni and i never had anything whatsoever. kuni was the only reason i didn’t immediately run crying to the dance floor to drop to my knees and beg for your forgiveness.” there’s a somber look on kazuha’s face, a sad smile on his features that makes xiao want to kiss his frown away. “ganoderma didn’t care about the ‘dating scandal’ that broke out with kuni, i guess i was wrong to think they actually cared about my skills unlike all the other teams that tried to scout me. i couldn’t even refute the rumors, i could only watch as the rumors got worse until i had enough and quit.” 

xiao’s eyes go wide and the regret washes over him in one unbearable wave after the next. “i’m sorry. i really should’ve let you do what you thought was best for you.”

“i should’ve done my own due diligence at that time, but i shouldn’t have lied to you either. instead of telling you the truth and flat out saying that i refused the offers, i did the exact opposite. and i’m sorry for that. i guess teenage kazuha couldn’t bear to see you so upset.”

“i’m sorry i didn’t listen to you back then. i couldn’t fathom that you’d possibly do something like that for me. i never thought about turning down a life changing opportunity for someone i loved. it’s just—”

“stupid?” kazuha snickers at xiao’s horrified look. “i know. you told me.”

xiao begins to flounder around in kazuha’s hold, unintelligibly sputtering. “no, i mean, i didn’t think it was like that—”

“shh, i’m just teasing you.” kazuha laughs and wraps his arms around xiao’s waist to pull him closer, the bed shifts under their weight and xiao’s only glad that his bed is still sturdy enough for two grown men. “sorry, you’re fun to tease. in all seriousness, i told you that i don’t care about playing in the big leagues or doing it for fame. i would’ve been fine with becoming a regular player in the minor league or a baseball coach, hell, maybe i’d be an author who played baseball on the side!”

“you’re too talented for that…”

“my talent doesn’t matter if it wasn’t something i was invested in. my team at the time didn’t care either, the publicity they were getting was the only thing that mattered. from the beginning, baseball was a hobby i truly never cared about until i saw you pitch back in middle school.”

“you’re kidding.”

kazuha shakes his head while his shoulders shake from laughter. “i’m not! why do you think i went to chihu for that practice match?”

xiao raises an eyebrow. “chihu’s one of the best middle schools for baseball.”

“that too, but i did it to see you pitch in person. you didn’t disappoint, because for once, i actually had fun. from that day forward, it was one of the only things motivating me to do my best in baseball. i started learning to love playing, but it wasn’t enough. so i made sure to work hard and be the best at batting, even going so far as to become a switch hitter,” kazuha tucks the strands of his hair behind his ear, leaning in, lip brushing against xiao’s ear like he’s about to whisper a secret that’s only theirs to hear. “all so i could see you once more.”

his breath tickles xiao’s ear, lips trailing down to press light kisses to his jaw before he pulls back with a wink. xiao shoves a plushie in his stupidly smug face, face hot from his words and kisses. “i can’t believe i still thought you didn’t like me back.”

“i tried to tell you, but you ran away before i could! hey, when did you start liking me, anyway?”

xiao puts his hands up to cover his face from kazuha’s curious look. “it’s embarrassing.”

“we’ve said i love you to each other and i’ve kissed you after you begged me to, are you really getting embarrassed by this?”

xiao whines and kicks at kazuha’s legs in response.

“i won’t laugh, i promise!”

“it was back when…”

kazuha gently pries his fingers away from his face, softly smiling when xiao meets his gaze. “when?”

“back when we made that wish at the shrine, when you told me you wanted to see me again just as much as i did.” he thinks his heart is going to beat itself right out of his chest, every breath he takes feels tight and he can’t help the raging blush on his cheeks. “i only realized later on that i really liked you then, but i’m certain that was the moment i felt it.”

kazuha says nothing, instead he brings xiao in for a long kiss, just short of turning heated when kazuha nips at his bottom lip to elicit a gasp from his throat. the kiss breaks, kazuha breathily laughing as their lips brush. “you’re making it so hard to not want you. you’re adorable. i had already liked you then, but i really fell for you at that moment too. if i knew we weren’t going to speak for half a decade, i would’ve confessed to you back then.”

xiao’s heart is certainly going to get squeezed into nothing from kazuha’s words. life would’ve been easier if xiao had accepted kazuha’s decision, no matter how crazy it sounded, and they wouldn’t have danced around each other as long as they did. “and none of our problems would’ve ever happened.”

“as tumultuous as our journey has been, our wish still came true, didn’t it? you and i now play together in the major league. i got that homerun from you like i promised back then, with the entire world watching.” kazuha traces patterns into his waist, all the while looking into his eyes with a look so tender as to set off the butterflies in the pit of his stomach. “best of all, you love me back.”

xiao smiles brightly, brushing his nose against kazuha’s as euphoria sings in his blood. “i do. i love you.”

they kiss again, slow and sweet like they’re enveloped in molasses. xiao’s heart feels full from the love he holds for kazuha, his pounding chest pressed against kazuha’s own and his fingers tangled in kazuha’s still wet hair. kazuha’s mouth moves with such insistence on his, parting them open to taste him unabashedly. it’s heavy and heated, kazuha kisses him in earnest, it leaves him wanting more as their heads tilt with every drowning claim of his lips.

the way kazuha gently holds his waist is a strong juxtaposition to how he kisses; it’s hot and wanton and quick to pull him back in each time they part for a breath of air, wrenching sounds from his throat just from kissing and licking into his mouth with burning fervor. it’s like heaven on earth to be kissing him, so much better than his dreams, he thinks he’ll never kiss another person as long as he’s alive, not when kazuha kisses him with every inch of his life while pressing him into the bed.

heat stirs in xiao’s gut enough from simply making out, simmering as the hand on his waist trails underneath his shirt. kazuha’s finger dances across his abdomen and the moan it pulls out from xiao’s lips makes him kick kazuha back with a jolt, acutely aware that they’re still in his father’s house.

kazuha yelps and almost falls off his bed, hanging onto the edge of the headboard for dear life. “ow! i almost fell!”

“you need to stop before we go too far.” xiao hisses, grabbing at his shirt to pull him back onto the bed. the action has kazuha’s shirt riding up his stomach and xiao has to avert his gaze from his muscles before he throws a leg over his body and straddles him.

“i can’t help it, the reactions you give are too cute.” kazuha pouts as he wraps his arms around xiao’s body. he kisses xiao’s flushed cheeks, his nose and his eyelids. “you’re cute.”

“you’re going to be insufferable in public. not to mention our matches; you’ll be a pain for yelan to deal with.” xiao grumbles, already imagining yelan scolding him for the godawful amount of pda his boyfriend shamelessly does in broad daylight. boyfriend, huh? it sounds right. yet there’s a nagging doubt remaining in the back of xiao’s mind that reminds him of their current public situation.

“what are you frowning for, sweetheart?” kazuha says, smoothening the crease in the middle of his furrowed brows. it’s silly how it feels so natural for kazuha to do that, like they’ve been dating for ages.

“what about the whole ‘industry plant’ problem? if people start seeing us dating in public, they might attack you for doing it as a pr stunt.” it’ll cause a whole slew of new problems for them, xiao doesn’t care if he gets attacked but he doesn’t want to drag kazuha through the mud with him.

kazuha purses his lips as he stares up at the ceiling for a moment, until his eyes light up. “don’t worry. i know how we can deal with them and crush the allegations for good. let’s just sleep now, okay?”

with how kazuha is nuzzling his cheek as he urges xiao to bury his face in the crook of his neck, xiao can’t find it in himself to argue. it’s been an exhausting day, nonetheless, it’s a day xiao has yearned for for so long. wrapped in kazuha’s embrace, in the arms of the one he loves the most, sleep comes to him the easiest it ever has in all twenty three years of his life. 

under the harsh lighting of the bright studio lights, xiao thinks he’ll never be able to feel anything but tense during an interview. it’s one thing for the interviewer to help ease the awkward tension by making some lighthearted jokes or easy questions he won’t have to scramble for, but it’s also up to xiao to stop squirming in his seat out of nervousness in spite of all the interviews he’s done in his career.

especially today, with kazuha at his side as they sit together for an interview with the steambird’s charlotte, his gut has been fraying with nerves ever since they woke up in the morning. according to kazuha, she’s been asking for an interview since kazuha returned to playing in the beginning of the season. the steambird had been the one of the only news outlets that didn’t slander kazuha or xiao during their separate ‘scandals’, so it’s natural that charlotte is the only journalist kazuha agreed to talk to amongst all the others.

not only was charlotte thrilled to hear kazuha’s response, but she was also quick to agree to kazuha’s condition of bringing xiao along for the interview. traveling to fontaine just for this interview is an overkill in his opinion but kazuha’s representative, kamisato ayato, met up with yelan plenty of times to discuss the ways of going about this matter, and they both agreed that this would be their best bet at putting the rumors to rest.

airing their laundry out for teyvat to watch isn’t something xiao is particularly excited for.

they’re dressed neatly for the professional setting: xiao wears a sweater over his button up and kazuha’s put on a leather coat over his dress shirt and even put on a tie. it was hard keeping their hands to themselves when they met after meeting with their separate stylists, he just couldn’t help it with how kazuha kissed him senselessly after he entered his dressing room. their mussed up hair was easily fixed but he still hopes that the concealer covered mark on his neck remains hidden for the rest of the interview. 

it’s been close to a month since becoming official. the morning after sleeping at his father’s place, xiao drove them back to his apartment and didn’t have a chance to jump into his shower before kazuha pinned him to the back of his apartment door after it slammed shut. xiao had to physically drag them to his bedroom, clothes littered across his apartment floor, before kazuha proceeded to fuck the living daylights out of him.

to absolutely no one’s surprise, they both developed a cold that same night.

they quickly developed a routine right after kazuha spent a week at his place recovering together with him. like the gentleman he is, kazuha would come over with breakfast and they’d go do their off season workouts together. in the evening, they’d catch up on the five years’ worth of conversations they never got to have. xiao learns that his moms’ recently adopted a cat and he gets shown endless pictures of the cat cuddling with him, in turn kazuha learns of ganyu’s progress into becoming a manager for a major league team in the near future.

it may be mundane, but it’s everything xiao wants. he’s eager to learn all of kazuha’s new favorite foods, the people he’s met, and the places he’s traveled to. he wants to relearn all the quirks melded into his personality, to memorize every tender look in his eyes as he listens to xiao blabber on about his day. after the hurt and pain they’ve gone through, xiao is content with their simple, domestic moments. 

“you’re staring, sweetheart.” xiao jolts out of his thoughts as kazuha whispers into his ear. he’s got one hand on xiao’s own and the red face xiao is currently sporting isn’t exactly doing wonders for them. so much for being discreet.

the live interview begins when charlotte comes and sits across from them, visibly buzzing excitedly in her seat as she grins at them both. “first of all, mr. kaedehara and mr. xiao, i’d like to thank you for coming here today for this interview! it’s an honor to be talking to the most popular superstars of the season!”

“of course. i do trust your judgment and admire your journalism work within the baseball world, ms. charlotte.” kazuha says with a charming tilt to his smile.

“it’s an honor to be here as well.” xiao says, politely inclining his head. “we highly respect the steambird and how you handle things, so thank you for this opportunity.”

“thank you! and before we start endlessly thanking each other, let’s get on with the interview!” charlotte sifts through her notes; it’s not a thick stack of papers but it’s certainly an amount that will have them stuck here for at least an hour. “to begin, let’s start off with your off the charts chemistry! since highschool, there’s been a lot of talk of how your rivalry on the field has been unmatched despite only playing two matches against each other. how did this rivalry begin?”

it was an event xiao never stopped thinking about until they met again in highschool, so the answer easily comes out from xiao’s mouth: “it started when kazuha played a match against me in middle school.”

“as a visiting student.” kazuha adds, leaning towards xiao with a grin. “we’ve only ever had one official match in highschool, however narukami hosted a training camp where we were given the chance to play together.”

“aw, i’m sure many of your fans would’ve loved to watch those matches! to follow up on this question, i’d like to ask for your thoughts on your overall performances in this year’s league!”

he’ll never be able to fully explain his feelings on pitching and playing baseball; standing on the field and getting that rush once you throw the ball is an experience that couldn’t amount to any kind of phrase. but xiao does his absolute best to answer charlotte’s questions with carefully chosen words close in semblance to how he feels.

nevertheless, it’s inevitable that charlotte would begin asking the heavy hitting questions after a few more on their plans for the off season and their goals for next year. after all, it’s what they were here for.

“your two year break was really felt in the industry, mr. kaedehara! like i mentioned in my initial article on your contract termination, it’s speculated that your team at that time did nothing to stop the rumors. at that time you never addressed the rumors either, why is that?”

“i can’t fully explain why, but i’d like to state that my relationship with kunikuzushi was never romantic. i left ganoderma due to our differences and a change in my priorities.” kazuha explains without wasting a breath, quick and precise. it’s acceptable enough for charlotte to nod and move onto the next question.

“it’s because of this break and mr. xiao’s arrival that many are skeptical of the nature of your relationship with each other due to the existing allegations that have been spreading since the fall of last year. it’s true that we’ve never seen you both interact until recently, so my question is: are you both friends?”

“not a lot of people outside my circle know this, but i’ve always admired xiao.” xiao almost pulls a muscle in his neck from how rapidly he turns his head in kazuha’s direction. kazuha’s smiling softly, it’s not the one xiao often sees when they’re alone together, but it’s close in similarity enough to make xiao’s heart flutter. “i’ve never thought horribly of him despite our bumps in the road and i was so happy to have heard that he made it into yakshas. since we’ve met, his pitching has tremendously grown and i find that no one else pitches at his level. he’s calculative, a great strategist; he’s a brilliant opponent i've longed to play against once more.”

xiao swallows past the growing lump in his throat and he presses his lips together, especially when kazuha turns to face him, gazing so longingly like xiao hung all the stars in teyvat’s skies.

“if you knew xiao, then you would know that he’s the most hardworking person you’d ever meet. that’s why it’s so disparaging to see people calling him such names. i doubt the detractors would believe a single thing i’d say, but i’d like to make it clear here and now that he’s a star for a reason. i know in my heart that he’d never accept an offer that discredited his skill just for the sake of getting a spot in a team that didn’t care about him past his looks or fame. i hit a homerun off him, but it’s because he’s the only one who could ever match me at my level.”

“i agree! mr. xiao has been hailed as the mvp of yakshas’ games for a few matches now, everyone in teyvat can see his incredible pitching skills!” charlotte nods with a beam. “in addition, you were the only one to hit a homerun off of mr. xiao in this entire season! we’ve seen long hits, but nobody else managed to pull it off! but other than the obvious, mr. kaedehara, you haven’t exactly answered the question yet.”

“oh! my apologies, i got carried away!” he absolutely does not look sorry, xiao thinks, cheeks pink. now that xiao’s attuned to kazuha’s day to day behavior, the heart in his eyes are outrageously obvious that he feels that everyone else in the room can see him and completely disregard him when he says: “i believe we are friends, yes.”

the things kazuha says have always had a great effect on xiao, so it might have not been the best thing for him to speak right after kazuha professed his admiration and subtly confessed his love in the way that only xiao would know. in the midst of trying to mask his expression, the next words tumble out of his mouth in a deadpan: “we’re not friends.“

the awkward expression on charlotte’s face is apparent and xiao can hear yelan slapping her palm on her forehead on the side. he doesn’t even want to turn and see kazuha’s face because he absolutely knows that kazuha’s stifling a laugh at the mishap at xiao’s admission.

“we’re…” xiao clears his throat, “we’re not friends because, well—”

there’s a slight brush of kazuha’s hand next to his and kazuha envelops his hand, warm and grounding. from the corner of his eye, kazuha smiles back at him with a resolute nod.

xiao takes a deep breath. “we’re dating.”

there are several gasps filling the room from the bombshell. charlotte is smiling so brightly from ear to ear and ready to jump out of her seat out of excitement. “congratulations! i’m so happy for you both!”

xiao breathes a sigh of relief, and some weight lifts from his shoulders. it may never be enough to completely stop the rumors, but the steambird has always been renowned for being one of the best news outlets for their factual news. xiao has faith that it’ll be sufficient to deter people from believing the tabloids.

the interview ends and they both thank charlotte, not before she vigorously shakes their hands and congratulates them once more on their relationship. yelan has a pinched expression on her face when they meet up with her, her phone buzzing from multiple notifications. she scolds xiao for all the calls and emails she’ll be receiving over the weekend and xiao has to swear that he’ll take that underwear modeling gig he's been putting off to make up for it.

“when i initially started playing in the league, i was kind of hoping that brand would email ayato-san about any possible sponsorships, but now i’m kind of glad that i didn’t do it.”

“why? because it’s going to be me in the stupid ad instead?”

“i think you’d look really hot in their underwear. just saying.”

“you’re saying that because you’ve already seen me in nothing.”

kazuha is driving them back to the hotel, one hand on the steering wheel and the other on xiao’s hand lying atop his thigh, a laugh escaping his lips as xiao rolls his eyes. “if you were dressed in the ugliest, shabbiest clothing in teyvat’s history, i’d still think of you as the most gorgeous person in the room.”

“i won’t allow that to happen, i refuse to be seen in such an outfit.” xiao scoffs. the sun begins to set over the horizon, the crystalline blue waters of fontaine shimmering from below the highway. he doesn’t recall the drive to the steambird taking this long, then again, he wasn’t exactly paying attention from all the nerves in his gut. a soft tune plays from the radio of the car, the mellow notes of the piano filling in the gaps of silence between them.

xiao looks to the side, kazuha’s profile highlighted by the setting sun as the light paints his features in the softest of ways. kazuha simply brings his hand up to kiss his knuckles, the gesture sets his heart ablaze and his stomach flutters about like a flurry of butterflies.

“you’re such a sap.” xiao huffs, propping up his elbow on the side of the door to lean his head back on his hand.

kazuha laughs against his hand. “mm, but you’re stuck with this sap.”

xiao grits his teeth and hides his face further into the palm of his hand. “i’m kicking you out of our room.”

“you’ll just have to wait after this stop we’re making!”

xiao grins against his palm as kazuha cranks up the volume of the song the moment it switches to an upbeat pop song. they drive far enough along the highway for the skyscrapers of fontaine’s skyline to fade into the distance, only the rolling lush green rolling fields of the countryside on both sides of the road. 

it’s well into the night when kazuha pulls over to the side of a field and takes xiao by the hand as they walk side by side. their shoulders brush with each step and he can’t stop the quick rise of his pulse as their fingers easily intertwine, kazuha pressing a heart fluttering kiss on his hand with a chuckle. it’s reminiscent of what their last year of highschool could’ve been, with the chaste kisses and push and pull of playful flirting, but xiao wouldn’t trade what they have now for anything in the entire universe.

they reach the edge of a lake, a lone bench sitting by the lake’s shores. various lakelight lilies sprout in the area, blanketing them in a gentle blue hue all while swans rest on the still surface of the water.

“found this place while traveling.” kazuha murmurs, pulling xiao along to sit on the bench. i think it’s a great place to watch the stars.”

the sky above them is endless, stretching out to a sea of stars smattering across the swirls of the clear blue.

“you know, back then, i was amazed by pitching because they reminded me of shooting stars.” xiao whispers into the tranquil air, a slight amused huff to his words as he recalls his younger self witnessing his first ever pitch. it’s been more than ten years at this point but that memory remains in him like a crystal clear frozen moment in time. “i loved it when my father brought ganyu and i to see the shooting stars in the countryside. i thought it was incredible that a ball could fly close to that same speed.”

kazuha hums, tracing shapes into palm. “you do throw your pitches as if they are comets. it’s no wonder i was so enthralled by how you threw, i couldn’t figure out you pitched back then and i still have trouble with it now. that’s just how good you are.” he punctuates his sentence with a grin and xiao can’t resist pulling him in for a kiss.

“you don’t need to flatter me so much.” xiao grins against his lips. “am i really a star in your eyes, kazuha?”

“you’re the brightest star amongst all the others in the sky, and i’ll keep loving you even if it means burning in your presence, and i’ll do it on purpose.” kazuha holds him close, kissing his cheek with a tenderness that melts him down to his core.

“you really could’ve been an author.” xiao’s heart thumps wildly against his chest, it’s a welcomed feeling in spite of how his chest may feel close to bursting from kazuha’s words. 

“but if i’m an author, who’s going to bat your pitches?” kazuha snickers when xiao weakly smacks his arm. “you know i’d never do that. i love playing against you too much to completely let go of it. especially when i finally get to show you off to the entire world and show how much you mean to me as a rival and my dearly beloved sweetheart.”

the words are warm and fuzzy in the pit of his stomach, he thinks of this as a love so rare, one that must have been so strong in a past life, it persisted in their next. xiao leans close enough for their noses to brush, just a hair’s length away from their lips touching. “will we be the greatest rivals of all time like you wished for?”

it’s a silly question, though kazuha still hums in thought even though xiao knows his incoming answer. kissing kazuha ever so slowly as he clutches fistfuls of his hair, a myriad of prayers is on the tip of his tongue in the hopes they’ll stay together like this for the rest of their lives. kazuha laughs breathily as they part, eyes twinkling with mirth as he smiles knowingly at xiao. 

“we already are.”

and xiao believes it.

xiao is twenty nine when he learns kazuha’s true definition of a homerun.

as appointed captain of yakshas, xiao’s duty has grown exponentially since he originally started as a pitcher in his first season. bosacius, along with the retiring members and their managers, agreed on xiao’s capability to lead the team. their retirement party was chock full of tears and promises that xiao would do his absolute best to maintain the pride tied to their team. he’d been blessed with a team full of mentors who helped shaped his childhood and earlier career, now it’s xiao’s time to do the same for the next generation of players.

like highschool, going over new recruits is still fun, he sees a younger version of himself in a few of them and understands why bosacius asked him to join all those years ago. training them is only easy because chongyun has been aiding him ever since he joined the team a couple years back, it’s just like old times when they go to the gym or get together on the field during spring training for fielding practice.

if their battery in highschool was dangerous, then their battery in the major league is deadly. he’s been hailed as one of the best southpaw pitchers in teyvat’s league, a title he feels is worthy when he has over six no hitter matches just in this season, an ongoing three match streak. it’s his best by far and close to beating the current world record of nine set by bosacius just ten years ago. he aims to possibly break it next season, it’s impossible to do it now that they are close to the end of playoffs with the final match just around the corner.

he’s not sure if chongyun would be willing to go for the spring training early next year, not when his wedding would be happening around the time the spring training facilities open. according to chongyun, gaming mindlessly proposed the idea of getting married while chongyun was helping him close up the restaurant and chongyun easily agreed to it. of course, it ruined gaming’s plans for an actual planned proposal— when they heard the story, both xiao and xingqiu laughed until their sides hurt. 

chongyun picked him as his best man, ending the years-long debate, and xiao was so honored he almost started crying after a minute of silence. consequently, xingqiu yapped on about how chongyun will most definitely not be his best man if he ever got married, but they all know that he’s dying waiting around for albedo to propose ever since he finally grew some balls and asked to date albedo for real.

it’ll be a busy spring next year from chongyun’s wedding arrangements and trip, but xiao won’t complain about it. there’s been someone in his life nagging at him to go on another vacation even though they’d be going on one during this coming off season with his family.

it’s only fair that he goes, after all, ganyu has also taken a break from her managerial duties with seven stars to go on this vacation. it didn’t hurt to find out that ganyu would be working with a rival team, but his workaholic nature has bled into her disposition much to his dismay; his father only laughed and said something about how it runs in their family.

his father deserves it too, even if he now spends most of his days tending to his vegetable garden or shopping for trinkets in the morning market. their family has always loved travelling and xiao jumps at the opportunity to treat his family as a way to show his love for them to make up for how terrible he still is at the art of expressing feelings.

the end of the season is approaching, the leaves are beginning to fall from trees to signal the coming of fall in the air, hand in hand with the storms that have been happening lately. a little rain never hurt xiao, and xiao can think the same for yakshas’ opponent in the finals. it doesn’t stop their fans either, their roars still ever so loud as both teams step onto the field in all their glory as a light drizzle falls onto the field.

he comes face to face with ritou maple leaf’s captain, kaedehara kazuha, a smug smirk on his face that xiao will pleasantly watch get run into the dirt as they play. they approach for the coin toss, kazuha cocks his head to the side with a charming smile playing on his lips. it’s one xiao has grown familiar with, he’s seen it on countless advertisements and banners of their duo ambassador campaign, and one he’s kissed many times first thing in the morning.

“it may be drizzling today, but that doesn’t make your pitches less easy to hit, right, captain?” his smooth drawl is never grating to xiao’s ears even with his provoking teasing; in comparison, it’s been breathed against his skin in the midst of their nightly trysts when he’s uttering the sweetest of praises as a love sonnet like no other. xiao can almost feel the tender marks littering his chest, hips and thighs aching underneath his uniform in reminder of yesterday’s affair, a heat simmering under the stare of the crimson in kazuha’s eyes that wants to render him vulnerable.

“don’t go slipping in the mud while you’re fielding. wouldn’t want to ruin your nice uniform now, do we?” xiao says with a smile of his own, patting down kazuha’s nicely ironed jersey. the umpire coughs from the side and they both step away, though their gazes never stray from each other as the coin is flipped into the air.

“yakshas will be batting first!” the speakers boom as the crowds cheer.

xiao leans up to pretend to whisper to kazuha. “better luck next time, captain.” he winks before leaving to rejoin his team. he doesn’t wait long to see kazuha’s reaction, but he knows from experience that it’ll get somewhat of a rise out of him. in xiao’s opinion, he thinks their games get a little more interesting each time xiao hits kazuha back with his own teasing remark. it’ll be worth the sore back tomorrow.

“you do know that we all have to stand and watch your foreplay whenever we go against them, right?” chongyun says with a deadpan as they make their way to the dugout.

“i got carried away. kazuha knows how to get under my skin.” xiao mutters, his cheeks guiltily flushing. their playful banter from back then in highschool got carried over after they were both appointed as captains of their team, kazuha’s teasing on the field grew tenfold and xiao couldn’t resist playing along with his game.

chongyun rolls his eyes. “oh, i know he does. you’re just lucky they didn’t do one of those mic'd up events this time.”

it would be a pain to see another article about their relationship plastered on the front page of every well known gossip magazine again. when the allegations of xiao being an industry plant died, news of his relationship with kazuha sprouted everywhere like a stubborn weed. it didn’t happen often ever since they announced their relationship to the public six years ago, yet it was still embarrassing to see the most ridiculous of headlines like ‘baseball captains’ rendezvous: ritou’s kaedehara kazuha and yakshas’ xiao’s midnight walk turns hot and heated!’ when all they did was kiss in some dingy park.

it comes with the job and he’s gotten used to it after a near decade in the industry, kazuha especially doesn’t mind it when he could care less about giving grace to those reporters who follow them out in public. their player representatives do the best they can with their circumstances, he knows kamisato and yelan would shoot down the most atrocious ones in a heartbeat before the rumor mill even started.

getting his head back in the game, he watches the leadoff runner get a hit on ritou’s ace. kuki shinobu has grown exponentially ever since xiao first played against her in his first major finals match, in addition she’s got a good head on her shoulders and is always professional whenever they meet. overall, kazuha’s team is a nice bunch, xiao’s met plenty of them thanks to kazuha bringing him along for their gatherings and they’ve practiced together plenty during spring training.

he knows his own team admires kazuha just as much, there would always be that one new recruit that calls kazuha their inspiration and role model. the fielders look up to him like he’s the paragon of fielding in the league and he understands why. kazuha’s strength and skill continues to be unmatched when he’s at the prime of his life. xiao won’t ever tire of seeing his prowess on the field, both as a spectator and a competitor. his hundred sixty kilometre per hour throw has well progressed into a whopping hundred seventy by now, it only lights a fire underneath xiao to spur him into performing just as brilliantly as he does.

the one point they managed to score in the top of the first is motivation enough for xiao to maintain his no hitter streak. he gets strikeouts on the first three batters and he knows it’ll be a pain once kazuha’s up to bat in the bottom second, still, it’s nothing he isn’t used to. after all, his boyfriend has always been the only one to match his wit and skill from their very first meeting.

there’s a steady thrum in the air once yakshas’ sixth batter inevitably gets an out after the ball lands in an outfielder’s mitt. xiao has readied his mitt as he steps out of the dugout. the drizzling has progressed into rain; kazuha steps up onto home plate and although xiao can’t see it from the mound, he’s certain of kazuha’s smirk when he bores holes into xiao’s wind up.

chongyun calls for a sinker to start and xiao throws impossibly low, it’s a ball nobody but kazuha would swing at with such triumphant confidence, even if it only gets him to first base. at least he slid and got his uniform muddied in dirt— xiao smugly grins at kazuha and he only gets a heart pose in turn that has his stomach twisting itself in knots. he’s still embarrassingly affectionate, sufficient in turning xiao into a flustered mess. it’s in this flustered state that xiao makes another consecutive strikeout, save for the last batter who sacrifices a play for kazuha to reach home.

inning after inning, it always ends in a tie that has every spectator hanging off the edge of their seat. it’s not uncommon for matches against ritou, by now everyone acknowledges the forces of both teams are unbreakable especially with their captains at the helm. their rivalry is undeniable, the world knows that there is no chance of being the greatest rivals in the teyvat major baseball league if their names aren’t kaedehara kazuha or xiao.

the game progresses well into the day along with the rain, well to the point that even xiao has mud on his pants and the front of his uniform after sliding chest first to home plate. they’re on the bottom of the ninth, the reserve pitcher has learned enough from him over the years to hold up the fort long enough without letting more than one runner through. this is certainly not a no hitter match with ritou’s tenacious batters, however xiao refuses to lose their current streak to winning against them for the second year now.

he sets a new personal record for his fastest changeup when he’s throwing against the cleanup, it’s a shooting star setting off in the blink of an eye and xiao is set alight with unbridled excitement. unfortunately, it still ends up becoming a ground ball that only gets two out and the cleanup onto third. they’re currently on a tie, so all they have to do is just get one more out.

it’s easier said than done as the next batter comes, smirking on the jumbotron with such pride like he knows he’ll blow things out of the water. xiao rolls his eyes at the theatrics while kazuha once again steps onto the plate. if xiao is planning on getting an out, he might as well spare nothing right here and now. behind kazuha, chongyun puts his mitt to his chest— he’s asking for a screwball and xiao stifles a laugh with his mitt as he knows it’s one kazuha fails to predict before it’s breaking at the plate.

there’s nobody else in the universe except for xiao and kazuha as he winds up, there’s nothing else to focus on when the only one worthy of his sole attention stands across him in a total of sixty kilometers.

predictably, kazuha swings and misses the ball. two more.

he receives the ball back and he’s dying to see the look on kazuha’s face.

xiao managed to pull another strike with a changeup after it broke down quicker than any of them expected to. without a doubt in xiao’s mind, kazuha is most likely positively burning with the all needing urge to hit by now. there’s a simmering want growing at the pit of his stomach at the thought of how kazuha would inevitably corner him in their room tonight and leave him aching in the best ways possible. maybe chongyun was right at dubbing their rivalry on the field as their own brand of foreplay.

this time, chongyun signals to him for xiao’s best two seamer. xiao intends for this to be the winning pitch to strike kazuha out, so there’s nothing but thrill flooding his veins as he kicks feet up in his wind up in preparation to throw. the ball shoots out like a star crashing through the galaxy, the resounding ‘crack!’ as it makes contact with the metal bat in kazuha’s hands is the resulting supernova. the ball flies out the field, possibly one of kazuha’s farthest hits to date.

ritou maple leafs win as kazuha makes it back to home base with a deep bow to the crowd. there’s no amount of chanting or lifting handmade posters to get kazuha to stay, he immediately heads to the mound afterwards and xiao tugs him into a hug once he’s close enough, burying his nose into kazuha’s neck as they laugh. no longer xiao does care about winning when this has become one of their best matches to date, and he knows kazuha could care less too. they’re both damp with sweat and rain, mud sticking to their uniforms and cheers reverberating around the stadium; kazuha still heaves him up and spins him around as the rest of the world fades away.

kazuha insists on driving them home once the match is over. there would be the annual afterparty as always, but xiao isn’t in the mood for it when his bones are aching from playing, even more so his backside because, as it turns out, his boyfriend can’t keep in his pants— especially once he wins a match. they were the last ones in the locker rooms from how long one of the post match interviews had been, one thing led to another after their heated match, and now xiao is sitting in their car with a literal aching pain in his ass.

it’s not like xiao is keen on going to the afterparty either, he’s certain he’d never thrive in any club or bar environment after his experiences. he can’t think about alcohol either without the thought of throwing up, so he leaves all the drinking to kazuha during all the prestigious events they’re invited to. kazuha doesn’t try to argue, they’re past the days of attempting to bring xiao along to big parties or celebrations, so he’s content with holding xiao’s hand as they drive back to their shared apartment.

kazuha is around liyue more often now that his moms have moved back to their hometown, kamisato or ritou’s managers don’t mind kazuha working out in liyue as long as he’d return for a couple months before each game season began. it only made sense for them to move in together after xiao realized how much of kazuha’s stuff was already in his apartment, and they’ve never been happier.

he’s in the middle of thinking about what to eat for dinner when kazuha makes a turn on the road where they’d normally head straight. xiao shoots him a quizzical stare at the change in direction. “this isn’t the way home.”

“i thought we’d make a detour.” kazuha gleefully smiles before bringing xiao’s hand up to brush his lips on his knuckles. “indulge me? after all, i did win, sweetheart.”

“i’ve indulged you enough in the showers,” xiao says with a huff. “but fine, go ahead.”

the smile kazuha gives is dazzling. is there a world where xiao isn’t immune to a brilliant smile like that?

they’re on the outskirts of town, xiao realizes, as kazuha goes down a familiar road that he hasn’t been on in more than a decade. they pull into the parking lot of chihu middle school, a deserted place xiao remembers it to be on a weekend, faint echoes of laughter bounce off the walls where xiao used to spend his days as a growing preteen.

kazuha pulls him along the familiar path to the baseball field, passing by pictures of the baseball teams over the years. they even spotted one with xiao and chongyun on the roster, xingqiu as ace and their first and last win at nationals. their hands held up the trophy that sat in the glass case out front, toothy grins splitting their faces open as they huddled around the best thing to happen in their lives. they were so young back then, unbeknownst to the vast world that awaited them. if the younger xiao saw him now, he hopes that he’d be proud of everything he’s done up to this point.

chihu’s field is well maintained by the looks of it: the grass is trimmed and the markings on the diamond are clear as day. he closes his eyes standing on the mound, taking a deep breath as memories come rushing into him. it’s incomparable to the fields that xiao plays on now, but once upon a time, this was the greatest one he ever stood on.

there’s a hand on his shoulder as his eyes blink open, kazuha stands next to him with a well worn baseball bat in one hand and a mitt with the baseball in the other. “for old times’ sake?”

“you have an expensive bat from your sponsor and you choose to use that old stick?” xiao asks, amusement painting his lips while he puts the mitt on. it’s smaller than his own, but xiao can make it work.

“its only fair that i use this,” kazuha shrugs, taking a few steps back to stand on home plate. he goes into his batting stance, knees bent and faces xiao from the left. “come on, hit me with your best shot!”

xiao’s arms are pulling in protest as he begins his wind up, the wind picking up and carding through his hair as he looks at kazuha with a grin. within the rare short distance between their spots on the field, he can see kazuha’s determined smile, mirth dancing in his eyes when xiao kicks his feet out up on the mound. it’s not a strong throw by any means, xiao doesn’t want to further strain himself after the amount of exertion he’s done the entire day and he doesn’t exactly have a catcher there to signal any pitches for him.

the ball zips like a rocket nonetheless, he’ll never back down from throwing to kazuha even if they were in his old middle school baseball field, a field too easy for two grown baseball players to play on. it slices through the air, kazuha hits it with such ease that it makes xiao roll his eyes when it launches over the fence of the field, most likely landing in one of the neighboring houses in the vicinity.

“and that’s a homerun for kaedehara kazuha!” kazuha cheers, tossing the bat to the side with a bow. 

xiao claps and pretends to cheer, indulging in his boyfriend’s antics. “oh my, kaedehara-san, you’re so cool!”

kazuha makes a show of the lap he runs around the field, he pretends to shoot an arrow at xiao and xiao dramatically falls back just to play into his theatrics. xiao finds this to be more fun than any afterparty, there’s nothing that could ever compare to spending time with his ridiculous boyfriend no matter the place and time as long as they were together. he’s certain that this is what love truly is.

they were no longer in a world of hurt, misunderstandings or resentment. xiao no longer wakes up with the need to scribble down on his journal to throw out another page on his long list of apologies or to switch the tv on in hopes of possibly catching one of kazuha’s matches. he’s no longer a highschooler who yearned to see an opponent who was the only one that mattered in his eyes. and even through it all, xiao would wholeheartedly, genuinely take the same path and go through every single thing if it leads him back to finding kazuha, and the life they had together now. 

above all his silliness, the smile kazuha sports grows bigger as he runs past second, and when he reaches third, he runs straight for xiao. xiao tilts his head, his heart strangely picking up its pace as kazuha approaches him. he’s got the brightest smile ever, and xiao huffs in amusement as he brings a hand up to brush a stray hair behind his ear.

“you’re not at home base, idiot.” xiao murmurs, smiling up at him.

“i am. i ran home to you.” there’s an awaiting retort on xiao’s tongue that instantly dies as kazuha takes xiao’s hand, his smile ever so blinding when he takes out a small box from his pocket. xiao softly gasps as he opens the box; there are two rings inside, engraved with teal and red jewels that match the highlights in their hair.

“what are you…” xiao’s heart is so close to bursting, the butterflies in his stomach uncontrollably flapping their wings as he stares down, mouth agape at the rings.

“xiao, sweetheart, every time i get a homerun, i want to run home to you for the rest of my life.” kazuha rubs his hands, his face close as their foreheads touch. his smile is dazzling and xiao laughs at his admission, cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “i’ll love you well after i die, and i pray it’ll carry on to our next life together. this is a promise i’ll keep. marry me?”

his answer is instantaneous and resolute, he doesn’t have to ponder over it when his love for kazuha transcends the universe. “yes,” he laughs in between a hitched breath, holding tight to kazuha’s shaking hands, “yes, i’ll marry you.”

kazuha pumps his fist in the air like the loser he is, but he doesn’t manage to get a word out as xiao tugs his collar to sweetly kiss him. it’s a ridiculous proposal, yet it’s so effortlessly kazuha and xiao adores it so much. there are tears brimming in his eyes as kazuha holds him close in his loving embrace— it’s absolutely perfect. he’s definitely smiling, they giggle in between breaths like two lovesick fools that just began dating. it feels right.

they break apart as the sprinklers on the field turn on, effectively spraying their clean clothes as bursts of water fly into the air. the droplets of water stick to their hair and smiling cheeks, and they laugh as they flee the field, fingers entwined. back in the car, kazuha is already planning their wedding out in his head as he ponders aloud, protests of ‘it must be in the fall’ or ‘we should hire gaming’s restaurant for catering’, and xiao is willing to go with whatever he wants.

it doesn’t matter if they get married in the fall or spring, or if kazuha insists on a piano rendition of their favorite trashy pop song for their aisle walk— xiao would follow him to the ends of the world if he asked him to.

in the end, all that matters is that kazuha is home to xiao as much as he is to him, and it’ll be like that for the rest of their lives.