Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Regulation #4: All humans are required to donate a pint of blood to their local blood bank every two months from the age of 16 to the age of 65. Humans may be exempted from required blood donation if they fail to reach benchmark health qualifications. Upon failure of a health examination, they will be re-examined every subsequent year; if health qualifications are met at any point, they will be required to donate blood.

~

Seonghwa placed a hand over his brow to shade his eyes from the sun as he opened the rusted door of his beat-up sedan, wincing as he stepped out of the car and stood up straight, his aching muscles protesting the stretch. His body was used to facing conditions that were far from ideal, but after sleeping night after night in his car, he couldn’t avoid the stiffness in his joints. Stretching his hands over his head, his spine cracked in a few different places, and he groaned. 

All in all, he had probably slept for a grand total of about three hours, constantly waking up thanks to a combination of his own discomfort and the noise carrying through the city outside of his car windows. At least in his old apartment he had been able to sleep in a bed, even though his roommates had made noise through the night. 

He closed his car door and locked all of his belongings inside, carrying nothing on his person other than his ID and the small wad of bills in the pocket of his worn jeans, the only money he had left. A small hole had formed in the denim of his jeans over his kneecap after he had fainted on the side of the road a few days before, and he hoped it wouldn’t grow any larger, because the air was already starting to chill after sundown. 

The sun had yet to reach its peak in the sky, telling him that it was still morning, and he started to make his way along the sidewalk, keeping close to the walls of the buildings on his right as other hurried pedestrians passed by him on the left. All Seonghwa had eaten in the last three days was a granola bar and a fun sized piece of candy, and his head swam dangerously as he ambled his way towards the bus stop a few blocks away. 

Other people gave him odd looks along the way, ranging from concerned to disgusted, but Seonghwa paid them no mind. He was used to such stares, after all; kindness was not as innate in the human species as people often wanted to believe. Or, at least, he had rarely ever been on the receiving end of it. 

The bus was pulling away just as Seonghwa arrived at the stop, which was what he wanted. Now the bench was clear, and he sat on it, closing his eyes for a moment until he managed to ground his consciousness enough to avoid another fainting episode. Blinking a few times, he then turned to face the back wall of the bus shelter, scanning over the papers pinned to the bulletin there.

Every day, he came down here to look for any kind of housing vacancy that he could afford with his measly savings, but he never found anything. Today was the same as any other day, and he deflated in defeat, running his hands over his face. He just wanted to find a place to live outside of his car, where he could actually take a shower, and sleep in a bed, but so far that had proven to be an impossible task. 

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t find a place to live, and no job wanted to hire him when he walked in with his clothing stained and torn and couldn’t provide a home address. He had no means of income, and no way to rectify that either. Although he had hated the orphanage, sometimes when he sobbed into his hands while curled up in the backseat of his car, he wished he could go back there. At least they had given him food and a roof over his head. 

Forcing himself to inhale a deep breath, Seonghwa looked at the bulletin again, with the naive hope that maybe something would suddenly appear that hadn’t been there before. However, that was not the case, and depression began to sink further into his skin until his eyes caught on another paper tacked to the cork. A paper that he had noticed and subsequently ignored every single day when he came to sit on this bench and browse for any new postings. 

FEEDERS WANTED

Apply to be a feeder today and receive an immediate bonus in the form of an electronic check at the time of your assignment. All interested parties must fill out an application before making an appointment at their local blood bank for a health and eligibility check as well as a discussion of terms. 

Benefits include: monthly compensation checks, lodging, and further measures to be negotiated upon the installation of a contract. 

Call us today or visit your local blood bank for more details.

Feeders. Seonghwa had never personally had anything against them, but the way they were viewed by most people was no secret. They willingly submitted themselves to become something less than human, a mere blood bag for vampires to use as they pleased. The thought alone sent a chill down his spine, although he couldn’t stop himself from reading over the flyer again, swallowing forcefully. 

Would it really be such a bad idea? Monthly checks and free lodging, the two important aspects of a healthy life where he was currently failing miserably. The thought of sleeping in a bed was enticing, even if that bed was located within a coven house, deep in one of the four thick patches of forest spaced throughout the city. 

Even if vampires mulled about in the night while he slept, able to feed on him whenever they wanted. 

Tearing his eyes away from the flyer, Seonghwa released a breath, threading his hands through his hair and tugging at the strands. He was desperate, and at this point, his body was going to shut down and he was going to die before he had any opportunity to get back on his feet. If he received monthly checks, he would be able to buy food for himself, and maybe he wouldn’t feel like his skin was moments away from sloughing right off of his bones. 

Seonghwa wondered what it would be like to feel full. That alone might make up for the whole blood bag part of the deal. Even when he was a child, when he had been given regular meals at the orphanage, he had only ever eaten to the point of feeling not hungry anymore. But to feel full… that was a foreign concept to him. 

If he had food, and money, and a bed to sleep in, then would it be so bad to willingly let vampires drain his blood in exchange for all of that? The entire reason that the flyer said “feeders wanted” was because yes, it was that bad, and no one wanted to let themselves be used in that way, but there had to come a point where it was the only option left. And as much as Seonghwa hated to admit it, he was pretty sure he had passed that point two weeks ago, when he had been forcefully thrown out of his apartment after missing three consecutive payments for his small, closet-sized room. 

His intense aversion to the sight of blood would be another issue, but that was a hurdle he would rather ignore at the moment. 

“If you ain’t waitin’ for the bus, piss off,” came a gruff voice, and Seonghwa startled out of his thoughts as a large man sat down on the bench, a cigarette sticking out from between his lips. He was wearing some kind of uniform, his skin worn with age and leathery from prolonged sun damage. “Homeless piece of shit.” 

Clenching his jaw, Seonghwa balled his hands into fists as he rose from the bench, still staring at the man. He knew he looked like shit; his shirt had holes in it, he hadn’t showered in ages, and he was nothing more than skin and bones, but he still didn’t deserve to be spoken to like he was a mere waste of breath. “Hey, shut the fuck up, asshole,” he blurted, staggering slightly as his vision darkened. He had stood up too fast - dammit. 

“You watch your fuckin’ mouth,” the man growled, his robust brow shadowing the hollows of his eyes. “Surprised you ain’t a toy for a group of vamps yet. You sit here and stare at that flyer every goddamn day; do us all a favor and stop taking up space ‘round here. Blood is all you’re good for, now.”

Even as Seonghwa stood there, he knew that any fight he might start would end with his face being pounded into the asphalt. So instead, he darted out his arm and snatched the cigarette from the man’s lips before turning tail and running down the street, a furious yell carrying after him. But the man wouldn’t follow him; Seonghwa knew the bus schedule like the back of his hand, and it would be there in about thirty seconds. If he chose to follow, he would miss the bus. 

Seonghwa turned a corner into a grimy alleyway and came to a stop, hands on his knees as he caught his breath, the cigarette held between two of his fingers. He grinned even as he gasped for air, head spinning dangerously, and once he could bear to stand up straight he leaned back against the wall and ripped away the end of the cigarette that had been in the man’s mouth before bringing the remaining length to his lips. 

He inhaled once, twice, and then snuffed it out against the wall behind him, expression twisting in disgust. “Fuck, that’s nasty,” he muttered. “Talks a big game, but can’t afford the good stuff.” 

His stomach rumbled, and he winced at the feeling, pressing his hand to his abdomen. He hoped that cigarette smoke had calories. 

Groaning, he slowly made his way out of the other end of the alley, ambling aimlessly down the sidewalk once more. The feeder sign still lingered at the forefront of his mind, though, and after a few more steps he came to a stop, standing there on the side of the road. People shouldered past him, muttering words of irritation, but he paid them no mind. 

At this point, the choice was out of his hands. He pictured a mental map of the city, and he turned on his heel, heading in the direction of the nearest blood bank. Filling out an application would be the first step, and it was worth a try - he knew he wasn’t medically eligible, but maybe he could con the right braindead employee. 

He ran his hands through his hair a few times in an effort to make himself look presentable, although he was fighting a losing battle. The thick black strands brushed over his shoulders now, longer than normal, but at least his neck was covered. 

The collar of his shirt had been stretched out over time, and it hung past his clavicle, the bones of his chest more visible than he would have liked. He tried to reposition the fabric, although his efforts were mostly useless, and when the blood bank came into view he had to just sigh and accept the fact that he looked awful. 

In truth, Seonghwa had always cared about his appearance; the problem was that for most of his life, he had never had the luxury of actually making himself look nice. He had gone from an orphan drowning in hand-me-down clothes to an adult confined to the same measly wardrobe he had taken with him when he had turned of age and left the place. 

As he approached the entrance, he kept his gaze directed firmly towards the ground, careful not to meet the eyes of any of the people lined up outside, waiting to give their bimonthly pint of blood. Seonghwa had never qualified medically for blood donation, and he had only ever been to a blood bank for his yearly reevaluation, which he consistently failed each time. 

“-no way he’s here to donate-”

“Dude, he looks half dead, what the hell-”

“-another blood bag, no doubt. Pathetic.”

Gritting his teeth, Seonghwa forced himself to ignore the comments, reaching the glass doors at the front of the building and wrenching one of them open, the handle cold against his palm. He marched right inside, bypassing the line of donors and heading for the front desk instead. 

The receptionist looked up at him, her lip curling slightly as she visibly scanned over his face and body. Before Seonghwa could even open his mouth, she jabbed a finger to her left, towards another waiting area opposite the one for donors. “Over there,” she directed, and Seonghwa closed his mouth once more, standing there for a second before going over to the second waiting area. 

On the other side of the room, the donors at the front of the line sat in plush, cushioned chairs as they waited to be called into the donation room, chatting idly with one another. All different kinds of people were over there: men, women, young, old, rich, working class. And yet, they all cast disgusted looks in Seonghwa’s direction, voices changing as they continued to speak. Although Seonghwa couldn’t overhear their words, their new topic of conversation was obvious. 

He sat down in a stiff metal chair, nothing like the comfortable ones for the donors. No one else was waiting in the feeder area, and Seonghwa pulled his legs up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. His skin was thick, for kindness from others had always been a rarity in his life, and he let their gossip roll right off of the armor he had crafted to fit his body since before he could even talk. 

A stack of applications sat on a small table beside his chair, and Seonghwa took one along with a pen, beginning to fill it out. The information requested was fairly basic, and he had to leave a fair portion of it blank due to his circumstances, but he suspected that was a common occurrence for people applying to be feeders. Those who had a home address and emergency contacts would never be sitting here in the first place.

Once he was finished, he set down the pen and rolled up the paper in his hands, tapping his fingers against the side of the chair as he waited. A few more minutes passed, and then the door right beside the feeder waiting area swung open, a doctor emerging. “Follow me,” he beckoned, and Seonghwa stood from his chair with the application in his hands, doing as instructed. 

The doctor led him past two doors before turning into the third, a small examination room inside, identical to the ones where Seonghwa’s yearly revaluation was held. Seonghwa handed him the application and sat down in a chair, pleased to find that this one was cushioned, at least. 

The doctor sat behind the desk opposite Seonhwa’s chair, pressing a few keys to log onto the computer, and Seonghwa took special notice of which ones he pressed. If he wasn’t medically eligible, then some tampering might be in order, after all. The doctor looked down at the application before tapping at the keys again, probably pulling up Seonghwa’s records. “Park Seonghwa, please state your date of birth for verification,” he requested. 

“April 3rd, 1998,” Seonghwa recited, although that date was actually just an approximation; his true date of birth was unknown, because he didn’t actually have a birth certificate. The circumstances of his birth were unknown, but he had been found and brought to the orphanage at two years old, and no information related to his birth or those first two years of his life had been discovered by the staff. 

Continuing to tap at the keyboard, the man looked at Seonghwa with a slight frown. “You’ve never given blood bimonthly?” he asked, and Seonghwa shuffled his feet against the floor, shrugging his shoulders. 

“I’m always told I’m not eligible, when I come for my yearly appointments here. They prick my finger and test for something, I forgot what it’s called, but my levels are already too low so they can’t accept any donated blood from me.” Seonghwa had never really understood it, though, because did it really matter that vampires were given the most top of the line blood possible? He was pretty sure that blood was blood, to them. 

“Hemoglobin,” the man said, filling in the blank in Seonghwa’s statement. “Your hemoglobin is too low, which is an indicator that your iron levels are low as well. We don’t accept your blood for your own safety, as losing a pint will affect you more than most people. From the looks of you, anemia wouldn’t come as a surprise. But for it to have persisted your entire life… do you follow any special diet? Perhaps a lack of meat consumption?” 

Not by choice. Seonghwa loved meat; the only problem was that he could never actually get his hands on it. “No special diet,” he answered. “Could it be caused by just… a lack of food in general?”

The doctor stared at him for a moment, taking in the sharp jut of his cheekbones, the way the skin stretched right over the bone of his jaw. “Right,” he said, clearing his throat and looking back down at the computer screen. “And you came here to apply to become a feeder, correct?” 

Seonghwa nodded, fiddling with his fingers. He watched as the doctor continued to tap the keys before moving the mouse and clicking something, his eyes scanning over the computer screen. Seonghwa wished he could actually see what the man was looking at, what kind of medical records they possessed that pertained to him. He had never really been to the doctor outside of that yearly finger prick, so their data was likely pretty limited. 

“Okay, well, first let me explain to you how the feeder system works. As you know, every human is mandated to donate one pint of their blood every two months in order to keep blood banks stocked for the vampires in the area. But there is another option for blood consumption for vampires: they can have a human feeder, if they wish. These terms were all negotiated many years ago, when humans and vampires finally came to an agreement on global regulations after centuries of conflict.” The doctor sounded bored as he recounted all of this, and Seonghwa had heard most of it before, but he listened along anyway. 

“All human feeders have to consent to the arrangement, and a contract must be negotiated between the two parties upon their first meeting, if all goes well. The first meeting is overseen by one of our officials, to ensure that both parties are satisfied. By agreeing to be a feeder and signing a contract, you are thus accepting that the vampire you are assigned to is permitted to feed from you at any time. You are effectively at their disposal, a fresh supply of blood whenever they want to feed.” 

Wrapping his arms around himself to hide a shiver, Seonghwa let the words wash over him. He understood that he was essentially throwing away any semblance of his own free will by doing this, but he didn’t have any other choice anymore. “But if I am assigned to a vampire and I decide after the first meeting that I don’t want to go through with it, I can still back out, right?” 

The doctor nodded. “Yes. Until you sign your name on that contract, you can rescind your application at any time. Usually, at a typical first meeting, the vampire will feed on the human for a short time - under a minute - to both give the vampire a taste of the blood and introduce the human to how a typical feeding may feel. Both parties reserve the right to decline the match if they are not satisfied.” 

“And, um, how long is a contract in effect?” Seonghwa asked, although he was afraid of the answer. “After it’s signed, there’s no way to back out of it, correct?”

“That is correct,” the doctor confirmed. Great. That wasn’t intimidating at all. “The length of the contract varies depending on the terms negotiated between the two parties. Some feeders are bound to their vampire for decades, while others start with only a handful of years. A contract can always be re-signed, so if you aren’t comfortable with a long span of time, make your preferences known. Too many times, feeders don’t speak up for themselves, and they wind up trapped in situations that they don’t want to be in.”

That didn’t come as a surprise, considering how desperate a person had to be to apply to be a feeder in the first place. If the vampire would only agree to a long contract and particularly harsh terms, a human who was desperate enough would agree just to have a steady income and a bed of their own. Hell, Seonghwa liked to think he had more self respect than that, but he wasn’t so sure. 

“Alright,” he said after a beat of silence, digesting the information. “I want to do it. Put my application in; I’ll at least agree to meet my assignment, before I decide if I really want to do this or not.” 

The doctor looked at him, and for a moment Seonghwa thought he was going to say something, to try to convince him not to do this. His eyes held a glimmer of sympathy, and it hit Seonghwa like a blow to the chest. He couldn’t even remember the last time someone had looked at him like that. 

But the doctor didn’t say anything, and instead he just nodded once and returned to the computer, that momentary emotion disappearing from his face. Seonghwa sighed, looking down at his feet, the sides of his sneakers stained and dirty. He didn’t understand how people took the care in their lives for granted; one kind look and now Seonghwa’s heart was aching. He wondered what a kind touch would feel like, what it would do to him. 

“I will put your application through, but given your lack of medical information in the system along with your low iron levels, you shouldn’t get your hopes up. You will be entered into the feeder database, but the chance of your application yielding results is very unlikely,” the doctor explained, and Seonghwa pressed his lips together to hide his irritation. He had known that was coming, but he was desperate. 

Immediately his brain began to turn, and he parted his lips as he glanced towards the door. “Is there a shower in this place somewhere? Can I use it?” he asked, and the doctor appeared taken aback by this request. “Please,” Seonghwa pressed. “We’re done here, aren’t we? Can you go, um, find out if that would be possible? I just… I want to feel clean.” 

He was slightly embarrassed to be asking this in the first place, but this doctor wasn’t entirely bad, he could see that. And while a shower would be nice, that wasn’t the main reason why he was asking. He just needed to get the doctor out of the room for a minute or two. 

The doctor didn’t reply right away, contemplating the request, and finally he sighed. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said, standing from his seat behind the desk. “Stay here, I’ll be back in a minute.” 

“Thank you,” Seonghwa replied, and the doctor gave him a nod as he strode from the room, the door closing softly behind him. Refusing to waste a single second, Seonghwa rounded the desk and hovered just above the chair the doctor had just stood from. If the doctor felt that the seat was warm, he might suspect something, and Seonghwa couldn’t afford that. He looked at the screen to find that the man had been smart enough to log out, but Seonghwa still remembered which keys he had pressed when logging in at the start. 

All the computer asked for was a passcode, and Seonghwa pressed the keys in the same order he had committed to memory, grinning to himself when the computer opened back up to show his medical records. PARK SEONGHWA was written at the top in red, all of his information following. Most of it made no sense to Seonghwa, but at the top of the page were the results of his yearly medical examinations, each row containing the information from a new year, each one deeming him ineligible for blood donation.

Seonghwa pressed the button to add a new row, and he typed in the current date, copying the information from the other rows to make it realistic. He only changed the content of one column, the one concerning his hemoglobin levels. The heading read Hemoglobin within range? and every following row contained an N to indicate that his levels were not within the required range. But now, Seonghwa added a Y to the new column he had created, and once that was all done he pressed Save. 

The page lagged for a moment as it updated, but as soon as the new row he had entered appeared, something else changed as well. PARK SEONGHWA was now written in green at the top of the page, and Seonghwa quickly logged out of the computer and returned to his seat on the other side of the desk. 

A few seconds later, the door opened once more, and Seonghwa turned around innocently to face the doctor. “You are permitted to use a shower, but only for ten minutes,” he informed, and Seonghwa rose from the chair with a soft smile. “Let me show you the way.” 

Seonghwa followed him down the hall, and he was led into a bathroom with a few shower stalls. The room wasn’t the cleanest, but Seonghwa didn’t care; he had existed in far worse conditions than this. He thanked the doctor, and as soon as the man left he stripped off his clothes and turned on the stream of water, letting it wash over him completely as it carried away the dirt and grime that clung to his skin. 

A plastic container full of shampoo was mounted to the wall, and Seonghwa pressed the button to expel a glob of it into his palm, lathering it through his hair before washing it out. He repeated the same process three times before cleaning his body with soap as well, and once he was done he turned off the water, feeling more like himself than he had in weeks. 

The thought of putting his disgusting clothes back on wasn’t very appealing, but he didn’t have much of a choice. He used a few paper towels to dry off his body, as he didn’t have a real bath towel, and then he put his clothes back on and shook his head to shake some of the water droplets from his hair. 

After that, he left the bathroom and made his way back down the hall, exiting back out into the waiting area and making a stop at the desk occupied by the same receptionist as before. She didn’t look up at him, tapping away at her phone with little care for her surroundings, and he cleared his throat after a moment to get her attention. 

Setting her phone down, she redirected her attention to him, chewing loudly on the wad of gum in her mouth. “Can I help you?” she asked, sounding as if she would rather do anything other than help someone like him. 

Seonghwa forced himself to be polite, casting a glance towards the door he had just emerged from. “I just met with a doctor to submit my feeder application,” he said, seeing no reason to beat around the bush. She rolled her chair back a few inches, like being in his proximity alone was going to cause her some kind of harm, but he pushed on regardless. “I want to request that a different doctor covers my assignment, please.”

She raised a carefully manicured brow, making no move to submit his request. “And why is that?” she asked, sounding bored. “Dr. Kim is one of our best, and no other doctor in this place is going to be that kind to you. Don’t be ungrateful.” 

He couldn’t even find it in himself to be mad at her response, because she was right. The doctor who had helped him just now had been kinder to him than most people, and it pained him to willingly ask for his case to be passed over to someone else, but he had no choice. If this Dr. Kim looked at Seonghwa’s profile in the system again, he would notice that it had been tampered with, and this would never amount to anything. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just… I would prefer a female doctor,” he proposed, mentally rolling his eyes at the audacity of this woman. “I’m not comfortable around men. Can you please change that for me?” He almost felt bad for lying about it, although his words weren’t entirely without truth, but this receptionist was so annoying that he felt little remorse. 

Grumbling to herself, she turned to her computer and tapped at the keys, her long nails making loud clicking sounds as she did so. Once she was done she rolled her chair back even further, looking at him with undisguised disgust. “Done. Now please, get out of here.”

“Can you tell me when I need to be back?” Seonghwa asked, ignoring the muttered words being spoken by the donors waiting in line to give blood. “I don’t have a phone.”

She sighed, clicking at the mouse one more time before writing something down on a slip of paper and setting it down on the portion of desk between them, unwilling to actually touch him. “You’ll need to use this login information to check our portal. When you’re assigned to a vampire, the information will show up there. Surely you can use a public computer somewhere for that.” 

Seonghwa took the slip of paper and folded it carefully before sliding it down into his pocket with a nod. “Okay, thank you,” he said, turning on his heel and leaving through the glass doors when she gave him no response. Once outside, he bristled with irritation towards that entire interaction, but he forced it from his mind. At least he was clean, and his tampering with the system would hopefully go undetected by the new doctor assigned to his case. 

~

Over the next few days, he went to the public library both in the morning and afternoon to use the computers there, logging into the website that the receptionist had written down for him along with his login information. Every time, he found no new news about his assignment, and he sunk further into his misery as the days dragged along. 

He was starving, and one night he managed to catch a restaurant handing out food before closing, but none of it was ever enough to fill his stomach. Roaming the streets had proven to be too dangerous now that he was never sure if he was going to faint or not, and the library became his only sanctuary, a place where he could linger for an hour or two before returning to his car. Sometimes one of the librarians even gave him some ice water and a snack, which he appreciated more than she could ever know. 

However, just as he was reaching his limit and resigning himself to returning to the job search, he logged into the portal one afternoon to find that an assignment had been posted. He had missed his morning trip to the library, for he had been too weak to leave his car until he caved and ate the last granola bar in the box in his trunk, and as soon as the page loaded he froze in surprise.

Where before the portal had read PARK SEONGHWA: NO ASSIGNMENT , now it read PARK SEONGHWA: ASSIGNED WITHIN IMMORTALIST COVEN . The name of the vampire wasn’t provided, but the name of the coven was enough to make Seonghwa’s skin burn, panic constricting his throat. Even someone like him, who knew very little about vampires in general, knew about the Immortalist Coven. 

The most powerful coven in the city, small in number but easily the most dominant out of the four. For the most part, the vampires in the city tended to roam the same areas as humans at night, taking to the city streets and mingling with humans, working regular night shifts, and behaving as regular people. But the immortalists only left their section of forest at rare times, even Seonghwa knew that. They kept to themselves for the most part, an air of mystery shrouding the Immortal Forest and the coven house within it. 

From what he knew, the immortalists had been around the longest out of the four covens in the city, and the oldest ones amongst their number had played a major role in the global peace negotiated between humans and vampires before they settled down here in Seoul. 

Seonghwa had been assigned within that coven? He couldn’t imagine how such a decision had been made, and dread accumulated in the pit of his stomach as he imagined how those vampires would react to the sight of him. Surely they were interested in finding a feeder who was healthy, who could supply them with blood that would suit their needs, and Seonghwa was perhaps the last person on earth who would suit that position. 

Maybe tampering with his health information had been a mistake, because he never would have been given this assignment if he was still considered medically ineligible in the system. No one in the Immortalist Coven would actually want to feed from someone like Seonghwa once, let alone permanently. 

On the screen, a date and time were listed as well, and as Seonghwa read it over he realized that he was supposed to meet the vampire he had been assigned to today. Well, tonight - he was supposed to go to the blood bank at sundown, and then he would travel with the overseer to the coven house where he would meet the vampire. 

That left him with barely any time before he needed to go to the blood bank, and he quickly logged out of the computer before leaving the library, his anxiety so thick that he could hardly breathe through it. He hurried back to his car, and he changed into the best set of clothes he owned, the ones he reserved for interviews and other opportunities when he needed to make himself look like he wasn’t running on a granola bar and four hours of sleep. 

After that, he used the mirror in his car to make himself look as presentable as possible, and he hoped that he wouldn’t be immediately kicked out of the Immortalist Coven house. He had swallowed his pride and showered at the nearby homeless shelter the day before, which he was grateful for now, because he didn’t look as terrible as he had anticipated. 

Making sure to bring his ID along with him, Seonghwa left his car and locked it, heading for the blood bank. He didn’t attract as many odd looks when he was dressed in his nicest pair of clothes, and he didn’t feel so alienated as he walked up to the entrance of the blood bank either, this time. The last hints of the sunset were disappearing, and the line of donors at this time was far shorter, contained inside of the building. 

He opened the door and walked inside, approaching the front desk to find a new receptionist there this time. She asked for his identification and he slid his license across the desk, allowing her to check him in. Once she was finished, he sat in that same waiting area as before until a new doctor emerged from the door to the examination rooms. 

As requested, the doctor was a woman, her hair tied back into a severe bun, harsh lines creasing the skin around the corners of her mouth. Her expression was cold, and it didn’t soften at the sight of him. “Come with me,” she said, turning without waiting for him to follow.

Seonghwa scrambled up from his seat and caught the door before it closed in his face, following her down the hallway. Instead of bringing him into an examination room, the two of them continued to move down the hallway, until she led him into an office room. She sat down behind the desk, and he sat in the chair on the other side, awkwardly looking at the walls in order to avoid eye contact. 

“You have matched with a member of the Immortalist Coven, as you viewed on the portal already, correct?” she asked, a pair of slim glasses perched on the end of her nose, and Seonghwa nodded. “It is my job to provide you with further details, and then we will travel to the coven house, where you will meet the vampire assigned to you. He will feed from you, and if you wish to proceed with the contract, we will negotiate the terms.”

All of this felt so official now, and Seonghwa swallowed thickly as he mumbled an agreement, his palms slicked with sweat. The vampire was a man, then - she had said “he.” Although, now that he considered it, he had never heard of a female immortalist who lived in Seoul. 

She placed a folder down on the desk, and she opened it to pull out a few pieces of paper, stapled together at the top left corner. “You have been assigned to a vampire by the name of Kim Hongjoong. He is a member of the Immortalist Coven; the leader, to be exact. He has never owned a feeder before, in all of his years of life. You are the first human he has been interested in meeting.”

What? Seonghwa could do nothing but blink at her for a moment, completely dumbfounded. “Um, me?” he asked lamely, pointing at himself. “Are you sure?”

“You are Park Seonghwa, aren’t you?” she asked, looking at him over the top of her glasses, arching a brow. 

Face warming, Seonghwa nodded. “Yeah, I am,” he confirmed, coughing lightly into his fist. “Sorry, I just - I wasn’t expecting that. Are you sure there wasn’t, like, a mistake, or something?”

“We do not make mistakes when it comes to this,” she said, her voice possessing a colder edge now, and Seonghwa clamped his mouth shut. “Every feeder profile has a copy of your identification photo attached; for you, that would be the photo on your driver’s license. Your basic information as it pertains to your potential as a feeder is provided as well; blood type, height, weight, and other basic measures. No otherwise defining information is provided to protect your identity. From what he saw of you, he was interested.” 

Seonghwa exhaled a long breath, unsure of how to handle any of this. At least his driver’s license photo wasn’t terrible; he had looked a hell of a lot better back then than he did now. The photo was only about three years old, for he had gotten his license at twenty-three, and he had been working a decent enough job at the time to be able to afford his shitty apartment room and enough food to fill out his face a bit more. 

The same couldn’t be said for his current condition, and his anxiety only grew when he considered how the leader of the Immortalist Coven would react when he took note of how different Seonghwa looked. The fucking leader. Of the Immortalist Coven. 

Kim Hongjoong. What the hell did he want with someone like Seonghwa? Someone like him could probably have any feeder he wanted, and Seonghwa wasn’t even medically eligible, although his profile didn’t reflect that anymore. One glimpse of him and Hongjoong would instantly lose interest, which might be for the best. 

The woman continued to rattle off more information, but Seonghwa was hardly listening, her words reaching his ears through a haze of fear. Within the hour, he would be standing in a coven house, meeting one of the most powerful vampires in history. His knees felt weak at the mere thought, and he was grateful that he was sitting down. 

Eventually, the doctor stopped talking and rose from her chair, asking Seonghwa to follow her. Seonghwa stood as well, his entire body shaky as they both vacated the room, dreading the situation he was about to walk into. He didn’t say a word as she led him out through a different exit, where a van was waiting for them, the blood bank logo printed on the side of it. She sat in the passenger seat, and Seonghwa slid into the backseat, heart pounding against his ribs. 

This was really happening. The van pulled away from the blood bank, heading for one of the four thick swathes of forest amidst the city, where the coven house awaited them. Although Seonghwa had lived in Seoul all his life, he had never dared to venture into the forests held within it, and this would be the first time he actually saw a coven house. This would be the first time he willingly walked into vampire territory, the first time he let a vampire drink his blood. 

Or, at least, the first time that he would actually remember. 

He raised a hand to his neck, rubbing over the scars there, almost entirely faded with age by now. Turning his head, he watched the city pass by through the window, resting his cheek against the glass and sighing at the cool sensation. His skin felt too hot and too cold at the same time, and when the edge of the forest came into view, nausea curled at the base of his throat. 

The patches of forest amidst the cities of the world had always been there, long before any urbanization had ever occurred. Vampires had been around far longer than any current humans, after all, and when a peace had finally been settled between species, part of the terms had included the preservation of a certain circumference of forest surrounding existing coven houses. And thus, the current hybrid cities had been born as areas urbanized, lush sections of forest smack dab in the center of every major city in the world. 

And now, Seonghwa watched through the window as the forest swallowed the van whole, only small flickers of moonlight still visible through the dense foliage above and around them. The van’s headlights illuminated the dirt road that brought them deeper into the immortalist domain, and Seonghwa’s apprehension grew with every second that passed. 

What would the vampires be like? He had never actually spoken to one before, because although they were free to traverse the city as much as they wanted, they could only go out at night. Seonghwa had always made a point to be safe inside by sundown, whether that be within the orphanage, his old apartment, or his car. 

Not because vampires were violent; perhaps they had been at one time in history, but they weren’t anymore. At least, not any more dangerous than some humans could be. But given the bits and pieces of information that Seonghwa knew relating to his own past, as well as the stigma that still surrounded vampires as a species, he had never been willing to take his chances. Not until now, at least. 

Now, he was willingly driving straight into vampire territory, and when the first shadowed image of the coven house came into view he stifled a gasp. He had never seen one in the flesh before, and the shadows seemed to warp around it, like the very foundations of the house absorbed the darkness itself. 

The house had been around for a long time, and although it appeared to be in good condition, the exterior design betrayed its age. Gothic in style, the walls of the house were built from thick, dark grey stone, seemingly built into three stories. The windows were tall and curved at the tops, black panes splitting the glass, revealing the dim orange lighting that filled the inside of the house. 

It looked almost like a castle, with black roof tiles that sloped and curved over the different architectural features of the house. The chimney looked more like the turret of a castle, and shiny black iron crestings lined the roof. Although it was difficult to tell from his current vantage point, Seonghwa was pretty sure that some of the windows were even made from stained glass, depicting intricate images that he couldn’t make out in full. 

The sight took his breath away, and he didn’t snap out of his trance until the van came to a stop, his heart leaping into his throat. “We’ve arrived,” the doctor said from the front seat, opening her door and stepping out onto the grass. Struggling to breathe, Seonghwa opened his door and followed after her, staring up at the house as it stretched up above his head. 

Something about the atmosphere of this place, the energy in the air… it was captivating and dangerous all at once, and he lingered behind the doctor as she ascended the front steps to stand before the door. He brushed his hand over the railing, black and woven with intricate details, the metal cold against his palm. 

“Hurry,” the doctor snapped, and Seonghwa blinked hard before joining her in front of the door. A thick iron door knocker was mounted against the door itself, black like everything else. The doctor reached out to lift and drop it, a loud knocking sound reverberating through the thick mahogany of the door, and Seonghwa shuddered involuntarily. 

They waited for several seconds before the doorknob twisted, oval in shape with detailing all over the surface, and Seonghwa’s breath caught in his throat. He backed up a step, but he couldn’t go anywhere as the door swung open, a vampire standing right before them. 

He was tall, with broad shoulders and black hair that teased the tops of his brows. Much to Seonghwa’s confusion, he was wearing a lab coat, and he smiled softly at the sight of them. Oddly, his fangs weren’t visible, but perhaps vampires had a way of retracting them when they weren’t actively needed. Seonghwa didn’t know any of those details; he had never had any reason to inquire. “Hello there,” he greeted, his voice normal. If Seonghwa had encountered him on the street, he never would have known he was a vampire, a chilling thought. “Come in.” 

“Thank you, Yunho,” the doctor said with a dip of her head, crossing over the threshold, and Seonghwa followed after her a moment later. Yunho? So this wasn’t Kim Hongjoong, then. Seonghwa wasn’t sure if that was good or bad news. And how did the doctor know his name?

Seonghwa shuffled his way inside, and immediately he was captivated by the interior decoration, for it was just as entrancing as the outside had been. The walls were covered in thick panels of dark wood, and the moldings were black and intricate, matched perfectly to the exterior. He had entered into some kind of short entryway, and he couldn’t even imagine what the rest of the house looked like. 

Footsteps reached his ears, and he snapped his head to the side just in time to see someone new come through the opening to the right, which must have led to the rest of the first floor. This vampire was shorter, and immediately his aura was more aligned with what Seonghwa had expected. He practically exuded power, and Seonghwa couldn’t tear his gaze away. 

His hair was black as well, but it curled past his jaw, thick and slightly unruly. The line of his jaw was sharp, and his skin was pale, highlighting the color of his lips. His frame was small but significant, and he was dressed more like Seonghwa had imagined, a black silk shirt draping over his shoulders. A deep, V-shaped neckline exposed the plane of his chest, his skin the color of porcelain. 

He was the most beautiful man that Seonghwa had ever seen, and he had to rest a hand against the wall to keep himself from staggering backwards under the mere strength of the presence before him. This was Kim Hongjoong, he knew it before the vampire even opened his mouth. And he was staring right at Seonghwa, one side of his mouth lifting in the barest of movements. A grin or a smirk - Seonghwa wasn’t quite sure. Maybe both. 

“You are Park Seonghwa,” he said, and it wasn’t a question. He was merely stating a fact as he stared right at Seonghwa, those dark eyes holding him completely in place. “It is a pleasure to meet you.” 

Unlike the first vampire, his voice was different - his words possessed a slight accent that Seonghwa had never heard before, but already he was desperate for the man to speak again. Struggling to find his own voice, Seonghwa allowed his lips to part, noticing how the vampire’s gaze flitted to his mouth for a split second. “You’re Kim Hongjoong,” he replied, his skin on fire. 

Hongjoong dipped his head slightly, a few pieces of hair falling over his eyes. “That I am,” he said, the accent curling around his words, dripping from his lips like nectar. “You are even more lovely in person.” 

That had to be a lie, but Seonghwa blushed anyway, head spinning. This was not at all how he had expected this interaction to go, and he was left ungrounded now, all of his preconceived notions shaken. What was this vampire playing at? Did he intend to coerce Seonghwa right into a contract before dropping this act? 

Something about it felt genuine, though. Seonghwa couldn’t put his finger on it, but the darkness in those eyes wasn’t scary. It was… warm, in a way. After being on the receiving end of cruelty for his entire life, he knew how to read people, and Hongjoong didn’t seem cruel. Dangerous, maybe, and intoxicating, but not cruel. 

For a moment, neither of them said a word, and then the voice of the doctor who had accompanied Seonghwa to the house filled the entryway. “We will now proceed with this initial meeting,” she said, sounding entirely unbothered by the charged nature of their interaction. “Kim Hongjoong, where would you like for the rest of the meeting to take place?” 

Only then did Hongjoong finally tear his gaze away from Seonghwa, looking at the woman standing beside him instead. “My bedroom will be fine,” he said, and something in his voice changed when he spoke to her. Still polite, but not as enchanting. “Follow after me. Yunho, thank you for answering the door, but you are already running late. Go.” 

Seonghwa turned to look at the vampire who had opened the door, a sheepish expression now on his face. “Yeah, I should go. It was nice to meet you, Seonghwa,” he said before leaving through the same door they had just entered through. He pulled it closed behind him, and that left only Seonghwa, Hongjoong, and the witness to their meeting. 

Hongjoong turned to lead them through the house, and Seonghwa followed after him, no longer looking to the doctor to guide him. As he stepped through the opening to his right and into the next room, he gasped slightly at the decoration. The styling was much the same as the other parts of the house, but this was some kind of living room, as plush velvet couches surrounded the steady flame of a fireplace. The couches were dark red in color, standing out stark compared to all of the black decor. A collection of tall white candles burned along the wall, wax dripping down the sides artfully.

To their left, a staircase led to the second floor, and Seonghwa followed Hongjoong when he turned in that direction. They passed by a grand piano, the sleek black surface reflecting the glow of the candles. The stairs were made from that same dark wood as the walls and floor, the railings black and polished as Seonghwa gently ran his palms over them. At the top of the stairs, Hongjoong waited for Seonghwa and the doctor to step onto the landing of the second floor before he made a left down the hallway. 

Several doors lined the walls as they walked, but he stopped at the first one on the right, twisting the knob to open it and reveal the room inside. Seonghwa wasn’t quite sure what to expect - did vampires really sleep in coffins, or was that just a myth? Would vampire bats be hanging from the ceiling, ready to swoop down at the first sign of an intruder? 

But when Hongjoong pushed open the door all the way, Seonghwa was relieved to find that his room looked much like any other bedroom, albeit holding true to the gothic style of the rest of the house. All of the furniture in the room was crafted from dark mahogany, and the frame of his bed was black and intricately detailed, much like the moldings and railings that Seonghwa had already seen. 

Other than a few pieces of furniture, a wide window, and his bed, the room was spotless, giving nothing else away about the character of the vampire who lived within it. Seonghwa stepped inside when Hongjoong held the door for him, and he wasn’t quite sure where to go after that, so he stood there in the middle of the room and fought the urge to shuffle his feet. The doctor came inside as well, and then Hongjoong let go of the door, sealing the three of them inside. 

Seonghwa wondered briefly if anything had ever gone wrong during these feeder meetings, if a vampire had ever attacked the two helpless humans once they were alone like this. But he doubted it, because from what he knew of human regulations for vampires, they were supposedly fierce; any vampire who did such a thing would be executed with little remorse. 

A chill ran over Seonghwa’s skin as Hongjoong walked past him, their arms brushing as Hongjoong sat down on the edge of his bed, patting the open stretch of mattress beside him. “You may come sit, if you would like,” he offered, clearly speaking to Seonghwa. “Make yourself comfortable, please.”

Turning to face Hongjoong fully, Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to move from where he stood, his legs rooted into the ground. Something in his face must have shown that, for Hongjoong smiled, more gently this time. Unlike with Yunho, the tips of his fangs caught in the overhead lighting, dangerously sharp, a stark contrast to his expression. “Don’t be afraid,” he soothed. “I will not hurt you.” 

Swallowing thickly, Seonghwa finally snapped out of his trance and forced himself to shuffle forward, settling down gingerly beside Hongjoong on the bed. He was hyper aware of the vampire’s presence beside him, his heart racing within the confines of his chest. Hongjoong didn’t touch him, but Seonghwa could still feel the burn of his gaze as it swept over his skin, suddenly feeling exposed even with clothes obscuring the true form of his body. 

The doctor stepped in front of the two of them, clearing her throat, and Seonghwa looked up at her in an attempt to clear his mind. But still, Hongjoong’s gaze didn’t move away from him, even when the doctor began to speak. 

“This meeting will hereby be conducted in full by the two interested parties, Park Seonghwa and Kim Hongjoong, with my mitigation where needed. The reason why we are here today is to conduct a test feed, and if both parties are satisfied with that, then we will move on to a negotiation of terms. Does that sound suitable to the two of you?” 

Frozen, Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to nod or shake his head, suddenly overwhelmed by the reality of this situation as he stared down at the floor. He was really about to let this vampire he had met a few minutes ago drink his blood. And if it went well, then could he really stand to be bound to this arrangement for years? He knew so little about vampires, about how they lived, and although Seonghwa’s life was terrible at least it was his own. 

Finally, Hongjoong’s gaze moved away from Seonghwa’s face as he responded to the doctor, clearly noticing that Seonghwa was in no state to do so. “The feeding comes first, before the negotiation, correct?” he asked, and the doctor must have nodded, although Seonghwa wasn’t looking. “I do not wish to do it that way. He is clearly not comfortable - I refuse to feed from him like this. Allow me to… talk to him for a moment, first.” 

She didn’t say anything to that, but Hongjoong took that as permission anyway, turning to look at Seonghwa once more. Sucking in a shuddering breath, Seonghwa turned his head as well, his jaw uncomfortably tight as their eyes met. “You are scared,” Hongjoong said, something about his voice different when he spoke to Seonghwa. “I know you are. You do not need to lie to me.”

Blinking a few times, Seonghwa nodded, for he saw no reason to attempt a lie when his fear was that obvious. “It’s not you,” he murmured, for clarity. “You’ve been… more pleasant than I expected. But I’ve never been in this situation before, that’s all.”

“My favorite color is red,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa frowned, momentarily drawn out of his nerves by the odd nature of the statement. Why did that matter right now? “And my favorite animal is a squirrel. I am… well, I will not tell you how old I am, actually, because that may scare you, but I was turned when I was twenty-six, so that is my eternal age. We have special seals on our windows for when the sun comes out, because we all have a bad habit of staying up well into the day and sleeping through half the night, me in particular. I am working on correcting that, but it is not really going well.”

He stopped talking then, and the expression on his face when he looked at Seonghwa was almost… tender. That endless aura still exuded from his skin, but it didn’t necessarily correlate with his behavior. “Why did you tell me all of that?” Seonghwa asked, confused. “Is that, like… an important greeting for vampires, or something?”

That drew a soft laugh out of Hongjoong, further exposing the full length of his fangs, and Seonghwa leaned back instinctively. His fangs took up the place of human upper canines, long and tapered into wicked sharp points. Seonghwa had never seen fangs up close like this, and Hongjoong’s laughter abruptly stopped when he noticed how Soenghwa had flinched away. 

“Oh dear, I am sorry,” he said, his fangs hidden once more. “I was - I did not mean to scare you. I told you those things because I wanted you to know a bit more about me, to perhaps make you feel less nervous about this whole thing, but now you are scared anyway, so I suppose it did not work out so well. I am sorry, darling.” 

Darling. Now when Seonghwa shivered, it was for a different reason, that name curling around him like an invisible blanket. No one had ever used a term like that towards him before. He was used to rude names, the regular taunts and jabs that had been thrown his way daily for as long as he could remember, and his fear stagnated now in response to that word, the affectionate tone with which it had been spoken. 

For humans, being afraid of vampires was oftentimes the norm, but in the few minutes he had known Hongjoong, the man had already been kinder to him than any human. That had to stand for something, and he felt some of his fear wash away, his muscles not quite so stiff now. “It’s okay,” he said, and his voice was a bit louder now, more full. “I’m a little scared, but you seem… nice. For now, at least.” 

“For now?” Hongjoong hummed, not entirely satisfied with this. “Give me a little time, and you will see. I will never be anything but nice to you.”

The corners of Seonghwa’s mouth twitched at that, and he nodded. “Alright,” he said, forgetting entirely that the two of them weren’t alone. Some kind of energy existed between the two of them, and Seonghwa couldn’t quite place his finger on it, but he had never felt this way around someone before. “I’ll hold you to that.” 

“I would not expect anything less. I have always been drawn to beautiful things; I have a collection of antique jewelry, and I designed most of this place myself, that sort of thing. So I am afraid that I will likely be vying for your affections for a long time to come. If you agree for us to be bound together by that contract, that is.” The words fell easily from Hongjoong’s tongue, and Seonghwa processed their meaning a bit late, too busy staring at Hongjoong’s mouth as it moved. 

“My - my affections?” he asked, eyes widening. “But, um, that’s illegal.” He cast a glance towards the doctor, who was watching the two of them with evident disinterest. Had Hongjoong intended to call him beautiful, as well? Seonghwa struggled to make sense of the riddles held within Hongjoong’s words, and he wondered if all vampires were so elusive, so enchanting. 

He found it hard to believe that anyone could be as enthralling as the man beside him. 

The ice cold pad of a finger pressed beneath Seonghwa’s chin, raising his gaze from Hongjoong’s mouth to his eyes, the first real contact between the two of them. “Oh, who is to say what kind of affections I am referring to?” he countered, and although his skin was cold, his touch still burned. “Plus, you do not strike me as such a rule follower, anyway.” He winked before dropping his hand, and Seonghwa sucked in a sharp inhale, heart hammering. 

How could he say something like that so openly, when the two of them weren’t alone? Humans and vampires had been historically punished for infractions to the regulation that forbade any romantic or sexual relations between species, and while flirting alone wasn’t enough to get them in trouble, they had only just met. If Hongjoong was this forward now, how would he behave in a few months’ time? 

Coughing lightly into his fist, Seonghwa struggled to find something to say to that, his pulse pounding in his ears. “Why did you choose to meet me?” he asked, recalling what the doctor had told him earlier, how Hongjoong had never shown interest in any other feeder before. “I’m nothing special.”

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” Hongjoong commented, the traces of his accent clinging to his words. “And you happen to suit my tastes, Park Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa looked down at his lap quickly to hide the blush that spread over his cheeks, although he was sure Hongjoong had seen it anyway. He didn’t think he would ever grow tired of hearing Hongjoong say his name like that. “What is it like?” he asked next, hoping to at least assuage some of his remaining fear by knowing what to expect. “When a vampire, um, feeds from a human, I mean. What is that like?” 

“Ah.” Hongjoong seemed to consider the question for a moment before giving his response, his voice a bit more earnest now. “I have not fed on a human in a long time, and it has been a long time since I was a human myself, but it will not be painful for you. When my fangs first enter your neck it may hurt for a second, but it will not last. Vampire saliva possesses a compound that acts like a drug, which stimulates the release of dopamine within the human brain, making the experience pleasurable for both parties. For a full length feed, you will need up to an hour for the drug to wear off, but the feed today will be quite short. So there is no need for you to be afraid, okay? I will take care of you.” 

Those last words warmed Seonghwa’s heart, because he could feel that they were genuine. He had been lied to so often in his life: at the orphanage when people would lie to him about adoption before never coming back, at interviews, every time he had tried to even just to make a friend. But something told him that Hongjoong wasn’t lying, a feeling deep in his chest, and some of the tension bled from his frame at last. 

“Okay,” he said softly, sucking in a breath before nodding. “I think - I think I feel better about it, now. Thank you. But, um, I don’t do well around blood. So if you could….” 

Hongjoong smiled, although he kept his lips closed to avoid revealing his fangs this time. “You will not see any blood. It is a neat process,” he replied, waiting for Seonghwa to nod before looking to the doctor. “Sorry about that. We may proceed, now.” 

She appeared rather annoyed by this entire thing, not concerned whatsoever with Seonghwa’s comfort, and he found that he actually felt more content in Hongjoong’s presence than hers, regardless of his identity as a vampire. Humans were capable of cruelty of their own, after all, and Hongjoong had shown him none of that thus far. 

“First, we will proceed with the feeding,” she said again, looking over the top of her glasses to fix Seonghwa with an unimpressed look. “Unless you need more time, that is. I believe it was clear from the start why you agreed to come here. You were aware of what the meeting would entail.” 

Flushing under the comment, Seonghwa nodded. “I was, I’m sorry-”

“Do not speak to him like that,” Hongjoong interrupted, and for the briefest of moments, Seonghwa understood why he was the leader of this coven, why he was so notorious. His voice changed completely, chilling the air in the room. “You are supposed to be useful, are you not? Because I think this entire meeting would progress with considerably more ease if you were not here at all.” 

Seonghwa bit back a sound, something between a gasp and a laugh, watching as her expression hardened even further, if that were even possible. “If you want this contract officiated, I have to be here,” she replied coldly. “Do not test me, or I won’t sign it.” 

“Do not be rude to him, then,” Hongjoong countered, eyes flashing. “That is not such an outlandish request on my part, in my opinion. What do you think, Seonghwa?” 

With both pairs of eyes on him, Seonghwa could have cowered, but he wasn’t quite as helpless as the world often wanted him to be. Instead, he looked right back at her, strengthened by the knowledge that he wasn’t alone. “I think that you have an obligation to make both parties feel comfortable in this situation,” he said innocently, although the underlying threat in his words was obvious. “So I don’t think that the two of us have done anything wrong, and you would have no reason to not sign a contract if we decide on one.” 

The look that Hongjoong gave him then was different - appraising, almost, like he hadn’t expected Seonghwa to be so outspoken. Something about that made Seonghwa feel a bit more confident, the knowledge that he could still surprise the leader of this coven, who had undoubtedly been around for a very long time. 

For a moment, no one said a word, until the doctor changed the subject completely. “Please proceed with the feeding,” she said stiffly, all of her irritation held behind her glasses. “Keep it under a minute in length, for the safety of the human.” 

Seonghwa turned to face Hongjoong, now hyper aware of where his pulse thrummed at the base of his jaw. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, and when Hongjoong reached out to cup his jaw, he flinched. “You will be okay,” Hongjoong soothed, his voice gentle. “Just relax. It will not hurt, I promise.” 

He used his other hand to brush the hair away from the other side of Seonghwa’s neck, and for a moment he paused, fixated on the skin there. “What is this?” he asked, the question no louder than a whisper. “Did something happen to you?” 

He was referring to the scars, of course, and Seonghwa rolled his lips together before shaking his head. “It’s nothing,” he said, although his words meant little when the curve of his neck was exposed like this. Small puncture scars dotted the skin on both sides of his neck, evidence of the places where fangs had pierced his skin long ago. “Happened when I was a baby. I don’t even remember it.” 

If anything, Hongjoong appeared even more horrified by that clarification, and he pulled his hands back to break their contact. “I am so sorry,” he breathed, stricken. “If you are not comfortable with this, then-”

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa interrupted, forcing a slight smile to curve his lips. “Like I said, I don’t remember it. Just, um, please be gentle. That’s all I ask.”

“Of course I will be gentle,” Hongjoong replied, and after a lingering pause he reached for Seonghwa’s neck again, although his movements were more hesitant this time. Seonghwa could sense that he wanted to know more, but that he wouldn’t ask right now, which he appreciated. “And please, tell me if you need me to stop.” 

Seonghwa nodded, and he tilted his head to the side when Hongjoong’s hand nudged him in that direction, exposing the left side of his neck more fully. Again Hongjoong swept locks of Seonghwa’s hair away from the area, chills spreading over Seonghwa’s skin where those cold fingers touched. 

When Hongjoong leaned closer, Seonghwa forced himself not to stiffen, his nerves set alight by every sensation around him. The feeling of Hongjoong’s hands on his neck, the soft gust of breath that brushed over the hollow of his throat, the rapid pace of his own pulse. He was sure that Hongjoong could sense how nervous he was, for he was being incredibly gentle and moving slowly, allowing Seonghwa all the time he needed to prepare. 

“You can do it now,” he whispered, Hongjoong’s face hovering a breath’s distance away from his neck. “I’m ready.” 

Hongjoong hummed softly, and then Seonghwa felt the first prick of his fangs as they touched his skin, piercing through the flesh. It hurt at first, but not as bad as he had expected; the same kind of pinch that accompanied a shot at the doctor’s office, or the needle that entered the crook of the elbow to draw blood. 

Within seconds, all traces of pain were gone, and an odd feeling washed over Seonghwa instead. Not a bad one - it was exceedingly pleasant, making his mind swim as all of the remaining tension bled from his bones. Without even realizing it, he slumped against Hongjoong, who had already shifted his arms to support Seonghwa’s body. 

The warmth of his mouth against Seonghwa’s neck was dizzying, and Seonghwa was able to feel each pull of blood drawn from the punctures in his neck, but it didn’t hurt at all. He had never felt anything like this before, and when Hongjoong’s fangs pulled out of his neck a few moments later, he couldn’t believe that a minute had gone by so quickly. 

He blinked groggily, unable to support himself fully as Hongjoong licked over the twin wounds in his neck a few times. “That will heal the skin within a few minutes,” he explained once he was done. “You will never have any scars from me, I promise.” 

Seonghwa tipped his head back to look at Hongjoong, his lips parted as he fumbled to form words, dazed from the drug that Hongjoong’s saliva carried. “That wasn’t so bad,” he slurred, and Hongjoong smiled at him, his eyes soft. “It didn’ hurt.”

“I told you it would not hurt,” he reminded, brushing the hair back from Seonghwa’s face, supporting him with an arm around his waist. “You will feel normal in a minute, I promise.” 

“Mm, I like the way I feel right now,” Seonghwa said, and Hongjoong let out a quiet laugh. “Will you always be nice to me like that? When you feed from me?” 

Hongjoong’s smile faded then, and he cupped Seonghwa’s cheek with his palm, the touch so gentle that it almost brought tears to Seonghwa’s eyes. In a vulnerable state like this, he couldn’t maintain his usual walls quite as well, and his body had always yearned for the kind of touch that Hongjoong seemed more than willing to provide. If this arrangement worked out, it might benefit him in more ways than just the monthly checks. “You do not have to worry about that. I will never hurt you.” 

At first, Seonghwa hadn’t been sure how trustworthy a vampire could possibly be, but as he started to come back to himself he found that he believed Hongjoong’s assurances. The fear that had built inside of him ever since he had first applied to be a feeder had now dissipated almost entirely, because this entire experience had proven to be completely different from what he had expected. 

Maybe this arrangement wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

He was able to sit up on his own now, and he pulled away from Hongjoong’s contact reluctantly, his body already missing it as soon as it was gone. “Sorry about that,” he said, tone sheepish. “I feel more, um, normal now.”

“Do not apologize,” Hongjoong replied, and he kept their legs pressed together when Seonghwa didn’t move any further away. “It’s normal for that to happen. And if it comforts you to know, as long as you want to move forward with this whole arrangement, I would never leave you after a feeding until you are fully coherent again.” 

Seonghwa nodded. “Thanks.” He was surprised that Hongjoong was still interested in moving forward, for he had half assumed that at the taste of his blood the vampire would realize that Seonghwa wasn’t actually medically qualified to donate, but perhaps he had been right all along - perhaps all blood was the same to them. He chose not to mention it, for fear of the doctor dissolving the meeting. “That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m okay with, um, talking about the contract, if you still want to.” 

“You heard him,” Hongjoong said, looking towards the doctor now, brows raised slightly. “Shall we continue?” 

With her jaw tight, she nodded, pulling a folder out of the messenger bag she had brought with her from the blood bank. “Very well,” she agreed, flipping through a few pages before pulling out a thick bundle of papers, bound together by a black binder clip at the top. “There are a few critical points of the contract that must be negotiated between the two of you before any kind of arrangement can be settled upon. The first of these concerns the period of time in which this contract will be eligible. What preferences do each of you hold?” 

Fully expecting Hongjoong to take the lead, Seonghwa didn’t bother to give a response until he felt both pairs of eyes in the room shift towards him. “Your preference is my preference,” Hongjoong said, surprising Seonghwa once again. “I have no desire to force you into a contract that you are not comfortable with.” 

Considering this, Seonghwa chewed at the inside of his cheek, unsure of what a suitable amount of time would be. He didn’t want to sign his life away, but he also didn’t want to have to go through this whole reevaluation process again so soon. “How long are most contracts to start?” Seonghwa asked the doctor, looking for some kind of baseline from which to base his decision.

“Typically no shorter than two years, but sometimes an initial contract can extend past ten years in length, depending on the wishes of the vampire. Kim Hongjoong, it may do you well to remember how small of a blip in time that a year or two is in the grand scheme of your lifetime. A longer contract may be more desirable for you.”

But Hongjoong shook his head, not interested in her reminder. “We can always sign a new contract if we both wish to. I refuse to be like the rest of my kind, who treat their feeders like dirt.” That was all he said, but his words carried enough emphasis to silence the doctor, who looked to Seonghwa once more for an answer. 

“How about… a year?” he asked, even though that was a shorter span of time than she had mentioned at the low end of her range. “I think I would be okay with a year.” 

“A year, then,” Hongjoong agreed, and she leaned the contract on her folder to write their request into place. Seonghwa shared a look with Hongjoong, and the warmth in his expression was impossible to miss. 

Once the doctor finished filling in that portion of the contract, she moved onto the next part. “Now we will discuss living conditions. It is customary for a feeder to live in the coven house of the vampire they are bound to, in order for the feeder to provide a constant supply of blood when needed. Is this a suitable arrangement for the two of you? And if it is, then where will Seonghwa be sleeping, Hongjoong?” 

“It’s suitable,” Seonghwa blurted quickly, not so eager to share the truth about his current lack of living conditions. “I’m fine with that.” 

After a momentary pause, Hongjoong nodded. “Alright, yes. There are plenty of extra rooms in this house, so Seonghwa will be able to sleep in one of those.” 

The doctor wrote that into the contract as well, and then she continued to proceed with the rest of the terms. Much to Seonghwa’s relief, Hongjoong looked to him for most of the answers, allowing him to set their agreement to match his own preferences. The entire process wasn’t nearly as intimidating as Seonghwa had expected it to be, and by the time the contract was finished, he didn’t feel as nervous to sign it as he had anticipated. 

Hongjoong signed first, and then he passed it to Seonghwa, who looked down at the space for his signature for a moment before pressing the pen to the paper. He signed his name, and then he handed it to the doctor, who looked over their signatures before nodding once and returning the contract to her folder. 

“This contract will remain as the active one on file until the one year period of your arrangement comes to an end, in which case you will have an option to terminate, renegotiate, or simply re-sign the same terms. In the meantime, you are both bound to the terms that you both signed off on, and any potential conflict that may arise will be settled by an examination of the conditions that you both agreed upon. Understood?” 

They both nodded, and she returned the folder to her bag, marking the end of the meeting. “That is all for now, then. Park Seonghwa, you will begin your year long term as a feeder tomorrow at sundown, when you will move your belongings into this house and live here as per the terms. You have means of transporting yourself here, I assume?” 

Blushing slightly, Seonghwa nodded. He would drive himself and all of his belongings here tomorrow, then, and he would finally have a bed to sleep in, and a monthly income of his own for him to use to buy any kind of food he wanted, all the way until next September. The mere thought of that made his stomach rumble, his blush deepening at the sound. 

With the meeting officially over, Seonghwa stood from Hongjoong’s bed at last, swaying on his feet for a moment as his vision darkened. He really needed to eat something soon, and he blinked a few times to ground himself once more. Hongjoong stood up as well, looking at him with poorly disguised concern. “Are you alright?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, offering no further explanation, for he was embarrassed about the current state of his life as he stood here in this three story house, worth more than Seonghwa could ever dream of owning. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.” 

Hongjoong smiled softly, nodding once. “I will be eagerly awaiting your return,” he murmured, extending his hand with his palm facing the ceiling. After a moment of hesitation, Seonghwa placed his hand gingerly in Hongjoong’s colder one, and he shivered when Hongjoong raised their joined hands to his mouth and pressed his lips to Seonghwa’s skin, right above his knuckles. “It has been a pleasure to meet you, Seonghwa. I look forward to getting to know you further.” 

Cheeks burning, Seonghwa nodded, his skin tingling where Hongjoong’s lips had touched his hand. “Me too,” he replied, and when Hongjoong dropped his hand, his nerves immediately cried out at the loss of contact. Seonghwa wasn’t used to being touched with such care, and now that he had experienced it once, he wouldn’t be able to forget it. He hoped that Hongjoong would remain this attentive through the entire first year of their arrangement. 

The three of them left Hongjoong’s bedroom, and Hongjoong led them to the front door once more, winding through the beautifully decorated rooms of the house. Seonghwa couldn’t quite fathom that he was going to be living here permanently, that this would become something of a new home for him in the coming weeks. He had never lived in a space this large; even in his apartment, the room he had rented was the size of a closet. At the orphanage, he had shared a room with a bunch of other kids. This was all entirely new to him. 

At the door, before Seonghwa could step over the threshold, Hongjoong caught his wrist in a loose grip to halt him in his tracks. “What kind of food do you like?” he asked, and Seonghwa frowned in confusion. 

“What?”

One side of Hongjoong’s mouth lifted into a crooked smile, the tip of his fang on that side showing. “Vampires do not have to eat, so there is no human food here, but we do have a refrigerator, and a stove, and other human appliances in the kitchen. So if you tell me what you like, I will get it for you, so that you will have something to eat when you arrive here.” 

Seonghwa’s jaw went slack in surprise, and for a moment all he could do was stare at the vampire standing before him, floored by the gesture. “Are you - are you sure?” he asked, and he hated the audible strain in his voice, betraying the emotion that he was too shocked to hide. “I can, um, get it myself-”

“No, I want to get it for you,” Hongjoong insisted, his hand still wrapped around Seonghwa’s wrist, gentle but firm, much like his tone. “What do you like?” 

No one had ever done anything like this for him before. Seonghwa didn’t even know what to say, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly as he blinked a few times, trying to keep his eyes from visibly filling with tears. Hongjoong wanted to buy him… food? His stomach rumbled again, and Hongjoong’s eyes filled with concern, and Seonghwa knew he had heard the sound. 

Biting his lip, Seonghwa said the first thing that came to mind. “I like meat,” he said, his hunger threatening to overcome him at the mere mention of it. “Any kind of meat. And, um, maybe some rice? Or vegetables? Anything is fine, really. And if you can’t get anything after all, it’s okay, don’t worry about it-” 

“Meat,” Hongjoong repeated, nodding. “I will have it for you, along with the other things too, and anything else I see that I think you may like. Does that sound okay?” 

Seonghwa nodded, trying to keep his emotions in check, for otherwise he feared he would burst into tears right here in the front doorway of Hongjoong’s house. “Yeah,” he breathed, still completely dumbfounded by the gesture. “That… that sounds amazing. Thank you.” 

“Anything you need, just let me know and I will get it for you.” Hongjoong squeezed Seonghwa’s hand before letting go, his words nothing but honest. “Okay?”

Pressing his lips together tightly, Seonghwa nodded. “Okay,” he agreed, his voice soft as he finally stepped through the doorway to return to the van that had brought him here. “I’ll, um, see you tomorrow.” 

“I will be waiting,” Hongjoong replied, lifting his hand in a small wave. “Return home safe.” 

Seonghwa smiled at him before turning around and heading for the van, clambering inside with his heart racing as he immediately placed his hand over the place where Hongjoong’s fangs had sunk into his neck. The skin was smooth as ever, completely healed over, and as the van pulled away from the house to return to the human part of the city, he couldn’t stop replaying the events of the night over and over again in his mind. 

He couldn’t quite believe that any of it had been real, and after the van returned to the blood bank he walked back to his car, feeling as if he were floating above the ground, his heart lighter than it had ever been before. Hongjoong had touched him gently, and spoken to him with kindness. Seonghwa hadn’t even realized how badly he needed that until he experienced it, and now he wanted nothing more than to go back there.

Just one more day, and then he would be able to go back. One more night spent in his car, one more journey of the sun through the sky before he had access to real food. 

One more day, and then he wouldn’t have to be alone. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #9: All populated areas must contain preserved sections of forested land for each documented vampire coven within the confines of the area. The radius of the forested land that surrounds all vampire coven houses must measure 1.5 kilometers at minimum from the coven house in all directions. These sections of forested land are hailed as “enter at your own risk” areas; humans should remain free of these areas at all times without cause. 

~

The next day dragged by, and the only thought on Seonghwa’s mind all the while was Kim Hongjoong and his house in the woods. He couldn’t stop touching his neck, remembering the feeling of Hongjoong’s mouth, the gentle touches of his hands. The memories alone were enough to make him blush, and he couldn’t imagine what it would be like to move into that house. Before meeting Hongjoong, he had been terrified, but the vampire had made him feel so comfortable that now he was desperate for night to fall. 

During the daylight hours, he went to the nearest homeless shelter to shower again, for he figured he would be meeting the other vampires that lived in the house at some point, and he didn’t want to look homeless. He was homeless, but they didn’t need to know the truth about that. And, anyway, he would only be homeless for another handful of hours before he finally had somewhere new to live. 

As he walked through the city, stomach hollow and rumbling, he wondered what his room in the house would be like. He wondered what floor it would be on, and if he would have a dresser and a desk, too, just like Hongjoong did. Even if he didn’t have those things, he wouldn’t mind - having a bed would be more than enough. 

When he had left the blood bank the night before, the receptionist had told him that he would receive the electronic bonus mentioned on the flyer within the next twenty-four hours, and then from there he would receive biweekly checks through the end of his contract. The amount of money was a comfortable sum considering that Seonghwa wouldn’t have any need to pay for lodging, and he looked forward to all of the food he would be able to buy for himself. 

He went to the bank to check his account balance just after noon, and he was thrilled to find that the bonus had already been deposited into his checkings. The first thing he did was buy a hot meal from a cheap restaurant nearby, and after he devoured the entire thing without even tasting it, he finally felt somewhat satisfied for the first time in weeks. 

Wandering the streets, he entered a secondhand clothing store after that, and he bought a few more clothing items that would make him look more presentable around the vampires that he was going to be surrounded by for the next year. Despite the limited selection, he still tried to find garments that appealed to his personal style, and he was mostly satisfied with his purchases by the time he left the store. 

With that task finished, he left the store and walked back towards his car, humming to himself. As he was about to cross the street, something blew in front of his feet, and he looked down to find a perfectly intact feather, pure white in color. He picked it up, carrying it close to his chest as he continued to walk. It wouldn’t serve him any particular use, but it was too pretty to be kicked around the city streets.

When he returned to his car, he changed into a pair of casual but still nice clothes from the selection he had just bought, a pair of jeans with a black sweater that clung to his body nicely. Seonghwa wasn’t short, but his frame was quite slight due to the malnourishment that he had never been able to escape since his childhood, and he was grateful for the thick fabric of the sweater that hid the outlines of his bones. 

He wondered if Hongjoong had felt the papery skin stretched over his wrists when he had touched the area, or if he had taken note of the deep hollows of Seonghwa’s cheeks, the sunken sockets of his eyes. Hongjoong had still called him beautiful despite all of that, but Seonghwa wasn’t naive; he knew that Hongjoong had noticed how poor his current situation was, even if he wasn’t aware of the details. 

That knowledge didn't bother Seonghwa very much, though, because even after noticing those things, Hongjoong had still treated him like a human. He hadn’t expected himself to lose his fear of the vampire so quickly, but his heart had latched onto Hongjoong before his mind had even been able to process his touches, his kind words. All Seonghwa had wanted for so long was just to be cared for, even by just one single person, and he felt closer to that now than he had in a long, long time. 

As a child, Seonghwa had curled up in his bed at the orphanage and muffled his sobs with his pillow, the names and faces of the children occupying the beds around him always changing as they cycled through, no one else spending as long there as Seonghwa had. New faces had appeared and been adopted, and old faces had grown old enough to leave on their own while Seonghwa was still young. 

No one had ever really cared about him. No one had ever wanted him, and when he was little, that pain had ruled his life. As he had grown he had learned how to force it down, but the hopes of that child inside of him had never truly disappeared. And now, for the first time, someone had shown the interest in him that he had always hoped for. Hongjoong had chosen him, and he hadn’t changed his mind even after he saw Seonghwa in person. 

If Hongjoong was the only person on this earth who had ever done that for him, then why should he hold any kind of allegiance towards anyone else? 

After so many years of trying to convince himself that he was content with loneliness, Seonghwa actually had something to feel hopeful about at last, and the sun seemed brighter because of it. He packed all of belongings into the suitcase that he kept in the trunk of his car, and everything fit inside easily, for he didn’t own many things to begin with. 

He still had to wait a little while longer for the sun to set in full, but then he clambered into the driver’s seat and started his car, his headlights illuminating the way as he began to drive through the city, recalling the route the van had taken the night before. Anticipatory nerves twisted in his chest, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe enough air into his lungs, his hands shaking slightly against the steering wheel. 

The drive took about a half an hour, and the final portion after he entered the forest was the most peaceful, free from the light and noise pollution of the city. His car was old, and he had to drive slowly along the dirt road for fear of getting stuck, but as a small clearing came into view Seonghwa could make out the subtle glow of a full moon just above the trees, hovering over the silhouette of the house he had visited the night before. 

Seonghwa parked in the same place where the van had parked last time, behind two sleek black cars that must have belonged to the vampires inside. He wondered how many other members of the coven there were besides Hongjoong, for in a house of this size, there could have easily been a dozen, maybe more. 

That thought was a bit intimidating, and he tried not to jump to conclusions as he left the driver’s seat to open the trunk, pulling out his suitcase before closing it and pressing the lock button on his keys. He pulled up the handle of the suitcase and headed for the door, the wheels jostling over the uneven forest ground. Again, warm lighting was visible through the windows, and Seonghwa ascended the stairs with his heart in his throat.

He reached out to use the door knocker, and a heavy thud resounded through the thick wood, one that would be impossible to miss from inside. A gust of wind swept past, and Seonghwa wrapped one of his arms around his middle, the other one gripping the handle of his suitcase. 

After a few seconds, the door opened, and Hongjoong was the one standing on the other side this time around. As soon as their eyes met, a wide smile stretched over his face, eyes twinkling with the same magic as the stars above. “Come in, you look cold,” he said immediately, and he reached out to take the suitcase from Seonghwa’s hand, ushering him inside with a gentle touch to his waist. “It’s getting chilly out at night, now.” 

“Can you even feel the cold?” Seonghwa asked, happy to step into the house, for it was much warmer inside courtesy of that fireplace he had seen last time. “Since you’re…”

“Dead?” Hongjoong finished, and Seonghwa blushed. “No, I cannot feel it, at least not in the same way you can. I can tell that it’s cold, but I cannot feel cold myself - I have no need for coats or jackets, even if it is snowing outside. It’s a bit difficult to explain.” 

“No, I think I get it,” Seonghwa murmured, shuffling his feet as Hongjoong closed the door behind the two of them. He could hear distant voices coming from somewhere else in the house, and it made him feel a bit nervous. He didn’t know where they had all been last night, but the rest of the coven members were clearly home this time. 

Once the door was shut, Hongjoong turned to look at Seonghwa, his expression just as kind as the last time. His grin still possessed a bit of a flirtatious edge, but Seonghwa was beginning to suspect that he wouldn’t be losing that anytime soon. “Hello there, darling,” he said, his accent thicker on the word ‘darling’ in a way that made Seonghwa’s knees feel weak. 

“Hi,” Seonghwa said lamely, pulling the sleeves of his sweater down over his hands to warm his fingers. “I can, um, carry my own suitcase. It’s really not heavy.”

“That will not be necessary,” Hongjoong replied, seemingly content to keep it. “What other bags do you have out there? I will send someone out to get them for you while I show you to your room, if you would like.”

Cheeks warming, Seonghwa dragged his bottom lip against his teeth before responding. “I don’t have anything else. Just that suitcase, everything is in there.” 

Hongjoong blinked at him before looking down at the bag, the gears turning in his mind as he nodded. “Oh, alright,” he said, and the corners of his mouth lifted into another smile, although this one was a bit softer. “Not a problem, then. Would you like to see your room? We can leave your belongings there, and then you can meet the other members of my coven, if you would be okay with that.” 

Swallowing down his nerves, Seonghwa nodded. “Well then, follow me,” Hongjoong said, striding forward to pass in front of Seonghwa, holding out a hand to him. “Upstairs we go.” 

Heart skipping a beat, Seonghwa allowed his hand to fall into Hongjoong’s grasp, and the vampire led him along the same path as the night before, past the fireplace room and up the first set of stairs. Seonghwa couldn’t help but look at their joined hands, and he took note of how pale Hongjoong’s skin looked compared to his own, veins purple underneath his skin, even though no pulse had passed through them in a long time. 

Hongjoong’s hands were impossibly soft, the beds of his nails tinged purple. A tiny scar curved over the knuckle of his left thumb, in the shape of a crescent moon. Even that was enchanting in its own right, and Seonghwa hardly paid any attention to his actual surroundings as Hongjoong walked past the door to his bedroom, stopping in front of the next one. 

“I figured this one could be your room, if that is okay with you. Mine is right next door,” Hongjoong explained, letting go of Seonghwa’s hand, which effectively snapped him out of his trance. 

The door looked exactly the same as all of the other ones, made from polished dark wood, with an intricate oval knob. Seonghwa reached out to brush his fingers against the wood, finding it to be as smooth as it looked. “That’s fine,” he decided, glancing at Hongjoong. “That way, whenever you need to feed, I’m right here.” 

“No, that is not why,” Hongjoong clarified without missing a beat, and Seonghwa frowned. 

“Why else?” he asked, confused. 

Hongjoong leaned against the door, not opening it just yet, his fingers trailing idly over the details that covered the knob. “I wanted you to be close to me. Not for feeding purposes, but simply because I thought you may feel more comfortable that way. You are more to me than just your blood, Seonghwa. You probably know how most vampires treat their feeders, but I am not like that.”

He had already proven that, and Seonghwa just nodded, surprised that he cared so much considering they had only just met. “Well, either way, I’m fine with it,” Seonghwa said. “Can we go inside?” 

Wrapping his fingers around the doorknob, Hongjoong twisted it and pushed the door open, holding it for Seonghwa. Only once Seonghwa had entered did he follow, the door remaining ajar behind them. Hongjoong let go of the suitcase, and he clapped his hands together once, watching Seonghwa’s expression. “Is this okay? It is pretty much identical to mine - all of the rooms in the house are. I wanted to get the largest sized beds for the rooms - I forget what humans call that, these days - but Yunho said that this size was better, to make the room more spacious, so I am sorry if you would have liked the larger one better-”

“It’s perfect,” Seonghwa interrupted, breathless as he trailed his fingers over the bed, the blankets carefully tucked into place. Both of the pillows looked soft as clouds, and he even had the same furniture that he had seen in Hongjoong’s room: a dresser, a desk, and a bedside table. On the opposite wall, there was a closet as well, and he walked around to the other side of the bed, awed by the amount of floor space still available even with all of the furniture. 

In his old apartment, he had slept on a foldable cot, so small that his feet had hung over the end. He had never imagined that he would ever have a place to sleep like this, a room to call his own, and tears stung his eyes as he frantically blinked them away. “It’s perfect,” he said again, at a loss for any other words. 

“Well, it belongs to you,” Hongjoong said, watching Seonghwa fondly. “This is your space. If you ever need to be alone, you can come in here and no one will bother you. It can get a little lively around here, but everyone will respect your privacy, I promise.” 

Seonghwa nodded, although it would take him a while to actually become accustomed to this. It felt surreal, to have his own space of this size, and he awaited his next check already so that he could buy some more clothes and other belongings. As it stood now, his clothes would fill about half of the space within one dresser drawer. 

Scanning his eyes over the walls one more time, he then sat on the bed gingerly, sinking slightly into the soft mattress. After sleeping in his car for weeks, aches had gathered all along his body, and he had a feeling that one night in this bed would heal him completely. “How many other vampires live here?” he asked, looking to Hongjoong once more, running his fingers over the soft comforter beneath him. 

Hongjoong leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “There are six others besides myself. You already met Yunho briefly when he answered the door; he has been with me the longest. He is something of an important man, so he spends a lot of time elsewhere, but he is very kind. They all are, really.” 

“Is that why he was wearing a lab coat?” Seonghwa asked, for he had never actually received an explanation for that. “Last night, when he left?” 

“Yes. He is a doctor - he was one before he was turned, actually. He works at a clinic, and he treats both vampires and humans.”

Now that came as a surprise, because Seonghwa had never heard of anything like that, and his brows dipped low in confusion. Vampires did work amongst humans, but as a doctor? “How does that work?” he asked, his curiosity winning out. “Most humans I’ve encountered would never agree to see a vampire doctor. If I’m being honest, I probably wouldn’t either.” 

Humming in understanding, Hongjoong nodded. “Let me ask you something. DId you notice that when Yunho smiles, you cannot see his fangs like you can see mine?” For emphasis, he smiled with his teeth, allowing his fangs to show in full for a second before his lips met once more. 

“I did, actually,” Seonghwa confirmed, his gaze lingering on Hongjoong’s mouth for a moment longer than it should have. “I thought that was strange.” 

“He willingly had himself defanged,” Hongjoong explained, and his voice possessed an edge of disapproval, an underlying strain. “Because it mattered to him that people understand how minimal the differences between humans and vampires truly are, fangs aside. You know, we were humans once, too. Humanity is not something that you can lose as easily as most people think.”

Stunned, Seonghwa’s jaw slackened. “I’ve never heard of that,” he murmured, touching his tongue to his own canines, feeling the blunt edges. “He… chose to do that? How does he feed?” 

“Blood bags,” Hongjoong answered, speaking through his teeth. Even though they had only just met, Seonghwa could still read Hongjoong’s displeasure well enough to know that he didn't approve of Yunho’s choice. “Drinks them through a straw.”

“And you don’t like that, do you?” Seonghwa asked, although he kept his words unassuming, for he didn’t want to press if this was a topic Hongjoong didn’t want to elaborate upon. He would understand if that were the case, for he had yet to earn any real trust, and he had no right to any of the answers to his questions if Hongjoong didn’t want to provide them. 

With a sigh, Hongjoong shook his head. “It happened a long time ago, do not misunderstand me, but… that is one of the regulations that I have always had a problem with. I fought to have it overturned, but it was a losing battle from the start. I do not believe defanging should ever be an option, but Yunho knew what he wanted. He has always been a little more human than I, even from the beginning. I both respect and resent that part of him, sometimes.” 

“I’ve never really talked with another vampire before, but I think you’re more human than a lot of others, based on what I’ve heard,” Seonghwa supplied, looking for a way to ease the tension that had visibly gathered along Hongjoong’s frame. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up, I was just curious. I don’t know a lot about vampires.” 

“It is alright,” Hongjoong assured, pursing his lips as he shifted the subject. “But other than Yunho, there are five others that you have not met yet. They are all here, so I can introduce you to them, but I would like to just tell you a few things about them first, if that would be okay. I think it may make you feel more comfortable if you know what to expect.” 

Seonghwa nodded, grateful for Hongjoong’s foresight. “I think so too,” he agreed, and they shared a soft smile, his heart fluttering in response to that subtle curve of Hongjoong’s lips. He really was so handsome, in a way that no human could ever be. He possessed an eternal grace, a magic that seemed to be laced through his skin, and Seonghwa still couldn’t quite believe that this arrangement was real. That this was really his new home.

“Yunho was the first one I met, although back then, covens were not nearly as commonplace as they are now. I was not tied to anyone, not after I left my sire, and neither was he, but he was the first vampire whom I really came to trust. It helped that we were part of the same overarching clan.”

“The immortalists,” Seonghwa filled in, and Hongjoong nodded. 

“Yes. For a while, it was just the two of us, and then Mingi came along. He was a human, at first.” Seonghwa perked up at that, for it sounded somewhat similar to his own situation. “Yunho had not lost his fangs yet at that point, because the peace negotiations had not happened yet - sorry, I know I am not explaining this well, and it is probably confusing for you. But Mingi was attacked by a vampire and left for dead on the streets, and Yunho found him. He was going to die otherwise, so Yunho slit his own wrist and fed Mingi the blood to save his life.”

Pressing a hand to his mouth, Seonghwa processed the story, shocked by how brutal it was. When he thought about vampires, he rarely ever considered how they had actually been turned, or what their lives as humans had been like. He could only imagine that for Mingi, he had carried a wealth of trauma after experiencing something like that, and his heart swelled with sympathy. 

Part of him wanted to interrupt, but he held his tongue, eager to hear about the rest as well. Hongjoong pressed on, and the slight lilt of his accent made his words pleasant to listen to, like a song of his own making. “San came after that, although he was another immortalist that was not turned by any of us. He came from the countryside, but he made his way towards Seoul after hearing word of the other immortalists there - that was the three of us. Seoul was not urbanized yet at that point. The peace negotiations took place after that, because the amount of vampire attacks were skyrocketing without regulations. I am sure you have learned about that before - the uprisings, the cullings, all of that.” 

Seonghwa nodded, although he couldn’t imagine actually living through all of that. As he spoke about it, Hongjoong’s demeanor had darkened along with the memories, the muscles in his jaw tensing. “Well, we had to form a coven then, so the four of us became one unit. For a while, it was just us - the other three are a bit younger than we are. Yeosang and Jongho were turned at the same time, but they were both regulated, so it was a simple process. I sired Jongho, and Yunho sired Yeosang.” 

He didn’t offer any more information about that, but Seonghwa figured he would learn more as he spent more time here. This was just a simple overview, and he was grateful for it. “What about the last one?’ he asked. “You said there were three younger ones, and that’s only two.” 

Grimacing slightly, Hongjoong nodded. “The last one to join our coven was Wooyoung. He is something of a special case, though, because he is still a fledgling. He was only turned two months ago, and I was actually hesitant to bring you here because of him. Everyone else will be fine around you, but you need to be careful with him. He is not fully in control of himself yet.” 

Biting at the inside of his cheek nervously, Seonghwa nodded. “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind,” he murmured, his mind already running wild with apprehension. He moved his hand to rest against his neck, covering the scars there. 

Hongjoong pushed away from the wall then, and he closed the distance between the two of them, settling down beside Seonghwa on the edge of the bed. “I would never let him hurt you,” he promised, sensing Seonghwa’s unease. “But I just want you to be aware, because this will be his first time being around a human since he was turned, and I do not know how he will handle it. Nothing will happen to you, as long as you are not alone with him, which I will not allow to happen. Okay?” 

“Sorry, it’s not that I don’t believe you, because I do, I just - I guess that makes me a bit nervous, that’s all,” Seonghwa admitted, sucking in a deep breath. “Being around vampires in general is new to me. I’ve always done everything in my power to avoid it, because, you know…” He didn’t elaborate, but he didn’t need to, for Hongjoong had already seen the scars. “But now… I don’t really have the luxury of avoiding it anymore. If I’m being honest, I needed somewhere to live and a steady form of income.” 

He was embarrassed to admit that, but Hongjoong took it in stride, probably because he had already figured as much. “I will not let anything happen to you, darling,” he said again, and his tone of voice made Seonghwa’s head spin. 

“Do you call everyone that?” Seonghwa asked, one side of his mouth twitching upwards. “Darling, I mean.” 

Hongjoong grinned, the wicked points of his fangs exposed. “No,” he replied easily. “That is a name I’ve reserved for you, if you are so keen to know.” 

“Why?” 

“You ask a lot of questions,” Hongjoong commented, which made Seonghwa’s face warm. “And you already know why.” 

Seonghwa arched a brow. “Do I?” 

“Another question. I will not preserve any of my mysterious appeal if you keep asking for all of the answers, you know.” 

With a shrug, Seonghwa replied, “You’ll just have to try harder, then.” 

Eyes twinkling, Hongjoong’s gaze never faltered from Seonghwa’s face. “You intrigue me, and that is not so easy to do. I have come across many people in my lifetime, but I have never met anyone quite like you.”

Seonghwa looked away then, not wanting to let on just how much he enjoyed hearing those words. If Hongjoong found him interesting, maybe he was worth something after all, despite what humanity had made him think all his life. “I could say the same about you,” he said after a brief pause. “You’re nothing like I expected you to be.”

“I hope that is a good thing,” Hongjoong replied, and Seonghwa smiled. He had no idea just how good of a thing it was. 

“It is,” Seonghwa appeased. “Although, if you continue behaving like this, you’ll get us both in trouble.”

The mattress shifted as Hongjoong stood, extending a hand for Seonghwa to take, which he did. “Did I mention that I am on the council? I play a role in upholding our laws - that makes it easier for me to break them.” He winked, pulling Seonghwa up from the bed. He didn’t step back, however, and for a moment their chests were nearly touching, their breath mingling. “Come on, let us go and meet the others.”

He finally moved back a step, and Seonghwa could do nothing but stare after him until a tug at his hand drew him forward. The two of them exited out into the hallway, and Seonghwa trailed a half step behind Hongjoong, still processing his words. “Wait, you’re on the council?”

Hongjoong looked over his shoulder to respond, and from this angle, Seonghwa was momentarily distracted by the length of his lashes. “I am one of the founders of it, yes. Any obstructions of the law that involve vampires are handled by me and the other three council members. So there will be times that I will not be around, because I have duties that relate to my position, but most of the others will always be here. Only Yunho and I actively have to attend to duties outside of our lives here.” 

They made their way down the stairs, Seonghwa still digesting that information as Hongjoong led him into the living room area with the fireplace and the plush velvet couches. Each of the three couches were arranged in an equidistant semicircle around the hearth, only this time, they were occupied, and Seonghwa stopped in his tracks at the entrance to the room. 

“Come on, there is no need to be afraid,” Hongjoong said gently, letting go of his hand to instead touch his waist to guide him forward. “They are nice, I promise. A lot nicer than me, if I am being honest.” 

At the sound of his voice, all of the vampires sitting by the fire turned in their direction anyway, and Seonghwa forced himself to draw in a deep breath. This would be fine - he could do this. The contract was already signed, and he was bound to this place for the next year; it was in his best interest to make a good impression on all of the vampires who lived here.

So he stepped forward with Hongjoong, the two of them sitting on the loveseat, the only couch that wasn’t otherwise occupied. Six vampires stared right back at him, and he was at least grateful that they were all here, so he would only have to do this whole introduction thing once. 

“This is Seonghwa,” Hongjoong said, breaking the silence, the tips of his fangs brushing over his bottom lip as he grinned. “He is my new feeder. Do not scare him, please, or I will kill you.” 

A few of the other vampires chuckled at that, and Seonghwa immediately sought out the one face he recognized. Yunho smiled softly at him in return, his expression just as kind as it had been the night before. “Hey, Seonghwa,” he said, his voice warm. “Nice to see you again.” 

He wasn’t wearing a lab coat this time, and as he spoke, Seonghwa took note of his lack of fangs. His teeth looked just like those of a human, but now that Seonghwa knew the truth, he found it to be more upsetting than comforting. “Hi, Yunho,” he replied, and Yunho seemed pleased that Seonghwa had remembered his name. 

Forcing his gaze to wander over the rest of the faces in the room, Seonghwa smiled tightly, the pace of his heartbeat quickened by his nerves. “I’m Seonghwa,” he said, even though Hongjoong had already said it. “Thank you all for letting me stay here, I really appreciate it. I won’t get in your way, I promise - I know some of you probably aren’t thrilled about having a human live here amongst you, but I’ll mind my own business, so-”

“Hey, wait, no,” said one of them, his voice deep but smooth. He sat on the couch beside Yunho, and he appeared equally as tall, although it was difficult to tell for sure when he was seated. “Hongjoong, he’s a nervous wreck, you idiot. Why didn’t you tell him that we were excited to meet him!” 

“I thought I did?” Hongjoong said sheepishly, although it sounded more like a question than a statement, and he rested his hand on Seonghwa’s knee to get his attention. “I am sorry, darling. That is my fault - you really do not have to be afraid. All seven of us wanted you to come here.” 

Confused, Seonghwa looked between Hongjoong and the deep-voiced vampire, brows furrowed. “All of you?” he asked, and they all nodded, which didn’t help to clarify a thing. “I - I’m sorry, I don’t get it. Why?” 

“There’s a couple reasons,” Yunho admitted, leaning against the arm of the couch, a pair of glasses perched over his nose. “Hongjoong had been scanning the feeder base for a while, but that’s not the only reason. I’ve been wanting to have a human around here for a while, because I was turned a long time ago, you see, and I need a bit of a refresher on what it’s like to have a beating heart. I’m a doctor, and I treat humans too, so I would love to talk with you about your experiences, and maybe ask you some things. If that’s okay.” 

That was an odd request, but Seonghwa had no problem with it, so he nodded. “Um, yeah, that’s fine,” he said, and Yunho’s smile broadened. 

“Wonderful!” 

The deep-voiced vampire sitting beside him rolled his eyes, speaking again to Seonghwa. “He’s really just a nerd, you’ll get tired of it eventually. God knows the rest of us have,” he said, ignoring the glare that Yunho sent his way. “My name is Mingi, and honestly I just thought it would be nice to have someone new around here. I like making friends.” 

That was a surprisingly simple reason, and Seonghwa hesitated for a moment before nodding, unsure of how else to respond to that. Another vampire chimed in next, with the kindest eyes Seonghwa had ever seen. “I’m Jongho,” he said first, raising his hand in a small wave. “I agree with Mingi, but also, I think there’s something else that you might be able to help us with.” 

He didn’t elaborate, and the vampire next to him spoke before Seonghwa could think of anything to say. “I’m Yeosang,” he said, and his voice was a bit softer, his presence more timid than the others. Seonghwa liked that about him straight away - he wasn’t as intimidated by Yeosang, compared to the rest. 

Yeosang didn’t say anything else, and Seonghwa’s gaze naturally fell to the last two, looking at them closely for the first time. Immediately, his heart stuttered when he noticed how terrible one of them looked. His eyes were bloodshot, and his skin was oddly sunken, not as supernaturally perfect as all of the others. He almost looked like he had been crying, and Seonghwa’s heart went out to him immediately, even without knowing anything about him. 

The other vampire was holding the sickly-looking one close, an arm around his shoulders, their sides pressed together. He looked at Seonghwa with a soft smile, but his eyes were sad. “Hi, Seonghwa. I’m San, and this is Wooyoung,” he said, pulling Wooyoung a bit closer as he said his name. “And to be honest, I’m really hoping that you can help us.” 

So this was Wooyoung, the vampire that Hongjoong had warned him about, the one who was still just a fledgling. He looked awful, and even without context, Seonghwa could see that vampirism wasn’t treating him well. Regardless of the warnings he had received, Seonghwa couldn’t shake his sympathy. “Help you with what?” he asked, although he suspected he already knew what the answer would be. 

“Wooyoung was just turned recently, as I told you earlier,” Hongjoong supplied, and his voice sounded more serious now than Seonghwa had ever heard it. “But he is having a hard time adjusting, and even for the youngest amongst us, it has still been a while since we were human. So having you here… I guess we were all hoping that it may be helpful. That you may feel less alone, right, Wooyoungie?” 

Heart in his throat, Seonghwa watched as Wooyoung nodded, and he felt a bit sick knowing that this boy had been a human two months ago. He was probably younger than Seonghwa, then, and a surge of protectiveness rose within him. “Hi, Wooyoung,” he said, his voice gentle, his fear entirely gone now. How could he be scared of someone who looked so afraid? “Actually, I want to give you something. Can you wait a second?” 

He waited until Wooyoung nodded, looking at him through the long strands of his bangs that partially covered his eyes, curled in on himself. Seonghwa stood up, and when Hongjoong moved to stand as well, he rested a hand on his shoulder to keep him seated. “I’ll be right back, I’m just getting something from my bag,” he murmured. Hongjoong stayed put, but Seonghwa still felt his gaze as he crossed the room and went up the stairs, watching him the whole way. 

Seonghwa quickly entered his room and reached into the front pocket of his suitcase, digging out the item he wanted. He ensured that it was still fully intact, and then he headed back down to the living room. Instead of sitting back down on the couch, he crossed the room to the couch where Wooyoung and San were seated, and he dropped to one knee before the fledgling. 

“I found this earlier today,” he said, holding up the pure white feather that had blown in front of him in the road. “It’s just a feather, but  I thought it was pretty, so I kept it. But you can have it, if you want.” 

He held out the feather, and he watched as Wooyoung stared at it. Now that he was closer to the boy, Seonghwa noticed the sunken skin around his eye sockets, the purplish tone to his complexion, the heavily chapped skin of his lips. He didn’t look healthy, not for a human or a vampire, and Seonghwa saw a piece of himself in those wounded eyes. 

At first, Wooyoung didn’t do anything, but Seonghwa didn’t mind waiting. Maybe the feather was an odd thing to offer him, but there was something so human about picking up a pretty feather for no other reason than its beauty. Humans loved to collect pretty shells, or feathers, or rocks, or anything of the like, and he had retrieved the feather from his room in hopes that it would appeal to that humanity that still lingered inside of this young vampire. 

After nearly a minute of staring, Wooyoung finally shifted, reaching out to take the feather from Seonghwa’s hand. Seonghwa let him take it, and their fingers brushed for just a second. Immediately, Wooyoung’s eyes snapped open more fully, a jolt going through his frame as he drew away from San’s side, sitting up on his own. “You’re warm,” he breathed, and his eyes filled with tears. “I forgot that you would be warm.” 

He was clutching the feather in his hands now, feeling the residual warmth along the base where Seonghwa’s hand had just been. Just two months ago, he had been a living, breathing human, with a heartbeat and warmth in his bones, his blood. But now, he was a vampire - he was dead, technically. Even if he couldn’t feel the cold, he would still weep the loss of the warmth that went along with being a human, the warmth that Seonghwa still possessed. 

All of this clicked within Seonghwa’s mind at once, and his own eyes stung as he held out a hand, his palm facing the ceiling. “Give me your hand,” he said gently. “You can touch me, if you want. If it might make you feel better.” He didn’t know if this was safe, or where he should draw the line at contact with a fledgling, but he figured that someone would stop him if he crossed a line. 

Wooyoung moved his hand forward before halting midway, his bottom lip catching between his teeth. Only then did Seonghwa see the tips of his fangs, but he still couldn’t find it in himself to feel afraid. “Are you sure?” Wooyoung asked, although his desire to accept was evident. “I don’t want to, um, make you feel scared. I’m not fully in control yet-” 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa soothed, and he really did mean it. Wooyoung reminded him of the terrified little kids at the orphanage, the wounded animals on the street. He had always had a weakness for wounded souls. “You won’t hurt me. Have some faith in yourself.” 

Stricken, Wooyoung stared at him for a long moment, tears lining his lashes. He seemed unsure of himself still, but he moved his hand forward the rest of the way anyway, his fingers trembling visibly. When his fingers first brushed Seonghwa’s palm again, he had a physical reaction to the contact, some of the pain clearing out of his expression. He seemed to gain a healthier color as he let his hand fully grasp onto Seonghwa’s warmer one, a tear rolling down his cheek. 

“Thank you,” he whispered, and through his touch Seonghwa could feel just how badly he was shaking. “I - you don’t even know how much I’ve missed being warm. I didn’t know if you being here would actually help me, but I forgot that - that you would be warm. Touching you makes me feel… I don’t know…”

“A little more human, maybe?” Seonghwa offered, and their eyes met then. Wooyoung nodded, his cheeks wet, and Seonghwa moved his other hand to settle on top of Wooyoung’s cold fingers, surrounding his hand with warmth on all sides. “I can see it in your face. You don’t look quite so sad.” 

All of the others remained silent, simply watching Wooyoung and Seonghwa as they interacted, and Seonghwa now held no lingering doubt about the intentions of this coven. Part of why they had wanted him here was to potentially bring some comfort to this fledgling, and they had chosen the right person. Already, Seonghwa felt an attachment growing in his chest, for he had always yearned to be touched by kind hands. This benefited him as well, more than the vampires around him knew. 

For the first time, Wooyoung’s mouth curved the tiniest bit, the ghost of a smile completely transforming his face. He still looked weary and worn out, but maybe with time, that would change. Seonghwa hoped so. “Thank you,” he said again, and his voice held some more strength, this time. “Um, I’m sorry that we had to meet like that. Thank you for the feather, too. That made me happy.” 

“I’m glad,” Seonghwa replied, and if he had known this boy better, he would have reached forward to ruffle his hair then. But he withheld the urge, and instead he just squeezed Wooyoung’s hand, not letting go yet. “Anytime that you need to feel warm, you can come to me, okay? I don’t mind it.”

“Are you sure?” Wooyoung asked, the question timid. 

Seonghwa nodded. “Let me tell you something. It might make you feel better about it.” And Seonghwa hadn’t planned on saying any of this, but the words came easily now. “I grew up without a family, all on my own. So every time I’ve been touched in my life, it hasn’t been a nice touch. Not like this one. So in a way, I need this, too. Do you get what I mean?” 

“Yeah,” Wooyoung said, a furrow forming between his brows. “I’m sorry that you grew up like that. That’s so awful.” 

“Oh, it’s okay. I’ve never known anything else, so it’s not really a big deal,” Seonghwa said with a shrug, not really wanting to focus on that topic. “But I mean it when I say that whenever you feel too cold in your own skin, you can borrow some of my warmth. Okay?” Wooyoung nodded, and they shared a soft smile. 

A different voice spoke then, and Seonghwa looked up from his position kneeling on the ground to find San watching the two of them, his eyes misty. “Thank you so much,” he breathed, and his gratitude was palpable. “Anything you need, you can ask me. Seriously. Thank you.” 

Now Seonghwa started to feel a bit self conscious, feeling several pairs of eyes on his skin as he nodded, a flush filling his cheeks. “Um, it’s okay,” he said, and he looked over his shoulder towards Hongjoong, seeking the eyes in the room that he was the most familiar with. 

The way Hongjoong was watching him was different from the rest, his expression unreadable for a second before Seonghwa caught his eye and he blinked himself back to normal, parting his lips to speak. “Speaking of that, actually - are you hungry? I forgot to ask you when you came in, but I bought you a variety of things to eat. There are some ready-made meals, if you are not interested in having to cook something.”

As soon as he mentioned food, Seonghwa’s stomach rumbled loudly, and he blushed. “I’m hungry,” he admitted, for his stomach had already made that quite clear. “A ready-made meal is fine. I’ll eat anything. Thank you for getting it for me.” 

“Seonghwa, what did I tell you?” Hongjoong reminded, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “I was not lying.” He rose from the couch, heading for the kitchen. “I will make it for you, you can stay there.” 

Immediately, Jongho stood up as well, following after Hongjoong while throwing a comment over his shoulder. “I do not trust him to come back with something edible, it’s been too long since he actually ate human food!”

That made Seonghwa giggle, and he turned back around to find that Wooyoung’s smile had grown a bit as well. “You don’t have to stay there on the floor,” San said, shifting over on the couch that he shared with Wooyoung. “You can come sit up here with us.” 

Seonghwa opened his mouth to assure that he was fine on the floor, but Wooyoung shifted over as well, making room for Seonghwa right beside him. “Come on,” he urged, tugging gently on Seonghwa’s hands. “The couch is really comfy.” 

With both of them looking at him expectantly, he couldn’t find it in himself to decline, so instead he rose from the floor and plopped down on the couch beside them. Wooyoung was right - the couch was much more comfortable than the floor, and he sank into the cushions with a sigh. 

The middle couch was the longest, the one facing the fireplace directly, and Mingi, Yeosang, and Yunho were still sitting there with an empty space left for Jongho. “I helped Hongjoong pick the food,” Yunho supplied, breaking the silence. “He doesn't know anything. I picked the food that my patients have told me they like, but I also didn’t get anything too unhealthy. So hopefully you’ll like it.” 

“Oh, I’m sure I will,” Seonghwa appeased, for anything was better than the scraps he had been living off of lately. “Thanks.” 

“I like your sweater,” Yeosang said, and Seonghwa had to look down at said garment in order to hide the flaming blush that rose to his face. Never in his life had anyone complimented him on his clothes, and that comment alone was enough to make his entire night. 

He stammered out a thank you, and Yeosang smiled shyly, dipping his head in a small bow. All of these vampires were so different from each other, so different from the assumptions Seonghwa had made before meeting them, and he struggled to reconcile with the fact that this was actually real. Hongjoong had chosen him, and now he had a room in this massive house, and food was on the way, and he was surrounded by people who were actually being nice to him. 

It was all surreal, and he focused on the feeling of Wooyoung’s hand still clasped within both of his own to ground himself, for otherwise he feared he might float away. 

The aroma of his incoming meal reached his nose, and his stomach growled again right as Hongjoong and Jongho emerged back into the living room once more. Jongho was holding a plate in his hands, and Hongjoong had a scowl on his face. “He almost blew up the microwave,” Jongho informed, handing the plate to Seonghwa, who accepted it with gratitude. He had to let go of Wooyoung’s hand to do so, but their legs were still touching, so he hoped that would still bring him some comfort in the meantime. 

“That is not true!” Hongjoong protested, and instead of sitting on the loveseat by himself, he came over to Seonghwa and perched on the arm of the chair right beside him. “You are simply trying to make me look bad.” 

“Hongjoong, you set the time to twenty minutes,” Jongho said, and a chorus of laughter followed the words. “You would have set the entire house on fire. It only needed two minutes.” 

While Hongjoong and Jongho continued to bicker, Seonghwa began to eat, blowing on the steaming bite of food before bringing it to his mouth. The plate was full of rice, meat, and vegetables, and it tasted delicious, even though it had been made in the microwave. He continued to eat while listening to the others around him, and he remembered something that Hongjoong had told him earlier, about how he had sired Jongho. 

Looking at the two of them, he could see a special kind of bond there, something between a parental relationship and a sibling one. It warmed his heart, and although Hongjoong hadn’t mentioned who had sired Wooyoung, Seonghwa had a feeling that the answer was San. Their relationship seemed to err more on the side of romantic as opposed to familial, but he could still sense something special there. 

He glanced towards the two of them to find Wooyoung huddled against San’s side once more, his head fitting perfectly into the crook of San’s neck. San was whispering to him softly, and Wooyoung was nodding periodically, one of his hands fisted in the fabric of San’s shirt. They both noticed his attention after a moment, and San opened his mouth to speak while Wooyoung looked longingly at the plate of food in Seonghwa’s lap. 

“I’m his sire, if you were wondering,” he supplied, almost as if he had overheard Seonghwa’s thoughts. “I met Wooyoung while he was still a human, and the two of us just… had a special bond, even from our first encounter. But you know how the regulations are, I’m sure; it took almost two years before I was actually able to turn him. I’ll never regret that, though. Being a fledgling sucks, to be frank, but I think having you here will help, too.” 

He offered the information so easily, and Seonghwa was honored to be on the receiving end, although he didn’t actually know much about the regulations beyond the ones that were common knowledge amongst humans. He had only just met these vampires, but a base level of trust was already evident between them. He could see it in San’s eyes, could hear it in the tone of his voice. Especially after how willing Seonghwa had been to help Wooyoung, he had created a good first impression, much to his relief. 

Raising another bite of food to his mouth, Seonghwa tuned back into the other conversations going on around him, simply basking in the comfort of being surrounded by people. Kind people, who weren’t going to hurt him, or taunt him, or whisper under their breath as he passed by. 

As he finished his plate, Hongjoong reached right over and took it from him the moment he was done. Although he had been immersed in other conversations, he had still been keeping tabs on Seonghwa, then. “How was it?” he asked, genuinely curious as he looked down at the empty plate. “Well, it appears to me that you liked it. There is nothing left.” 

Pressing a hand to his stomach, Seonghwa nodded. “It was really good,” he answered, feeling satisfied at last. “Thank you, really. For getting it for me.” 

“Oh, you can stop thanking me,” Hongjoong said easily, standing from his perch on the arm of the couch. “It is truly not a big deal. If you can generate some kind of weekly list, I will get anything you want. These were all Yunho’s choices, so if anything is terrible, rest assured it is his fault.” 

Yunho spluttered in protest, and Seonghwa bit his lip to contain a laugh. “It’s okay, I’ll be receiving money soon for being a feeder, so I’ll be able to get it myself. You don’t have to worry about that.” 

“Oh, you are adorable,” Hongjoong replied, holding the plate in one hand as he held out the other one for Seonghwa to take. “I am getting it for you, so simply tell me what you want. Do not bother trying to argue with me, either. I assure you, I am stubborn.” 

“He is,” Mingi piped up, and Hongjoong kicked him in the shin, an innocent smile plastered on his lips all the while. 

“Um… are you sure?” Seonghwa asked, resting his hand in Hongjoong’s smaller one but not yet rising from the couch. “It really doesn’t make sense for you to buy it for me when I’ll have my own money.” 

When Seonghwa didn’t stand from the couch, Hongjoong let go of his hand to bring a finger under his chin instead, forcing their eyes to meet. “Darling, let me make something clear. I fully intend to spoil you for as long as you choose to stay here, so your protests, while sweet, are useless. I am not hurting for money, and beyond that, I would like to flatter a beautiful man by showering him in gifts. Is that so wrong?” 

Speechless, Seonghwa failed to give any answer at all, and Hongjoong grinned. “Fantastic. Now, come on. I will show you where the kitchen is, and you can look at the other things we bought for you.” 

Seonghwa stood from the couch to follow him, observing the details of the house around him as they left the living room and moved into the kitchen, although the two rooms were connected. A dining room branched away from the kitchen as well, which was a bit silly since vampires didn’t need to eat, but he supposed it was there for decorative purposes. 

The kitchen itself was gorgeous, fitting perfectly with the theme of the rest of the house, or at least as much of it as Seonghwa had seen thus far. The base cabinets that ran beneath the counter space were made from that same polished dark wood, with intricate black detailing. Overhead, the lighting was muted and warm, contributing to the overall atmosphere. All of the appliances were black, and the cabinets above the counter space were laden with panes of stained glass. 

“Your entire house is so beautiful,” he breathed, touching the black and grey marbled countertops, cool to his human touch. “You said you decorated all of this, didn’t you?” 

“Yes,” Hongjoong confirmed, stopping by the refrigerator, resting one hand on the handle. “This place has been ours for a long time, but it has been continually redone. I’ve always liked artistic things, but I did not have the time to explore that during my human life, so I do what I can with it now, when I have the time.” He shrugged, tugging at the handle to open the fridge. “Here, look at what else we have for you.” 

Tearing his eyes away from the interior design of the kitchen as a whole, Seonghwa shuffled over to Hongjoong and peered inside of the fridge, surprised to find it completely stocked. He had expected a handful of basic ingredients, but this was overboard: an assortment of different vegetables, a variety of meats, pre-made meals, and snacks, amongst other things. Seonghwa had never had this much food at his disposal in his entire life, and even though he had just eaten, saliva pooled under his tongue as he scanned the contents.

“Does it look okay?” Hongjoong asked, but Seonghwa could hear the smile in his voice. 

Swallowing, Seonghwa glanced towards him, the cold air from inside the fridge causing goosebumps to rise to the surface of his skin. “I can’t believe you bought all of this,” he replied, shaking his head. “Some of those cuts of meat are really expensive. I really don’t understand why you did all of this, when-”

“Seonghwa, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong interrupted, Seonghwa’s name rolling off his tongue in a sing-song manner. “We have been over this. It would really be easier for you to just accept it, because I do not plan to stop taking care of you.” 

Seonghwa stepped away from the fridge, easing it closed, his fingers momentarily brushing against Hongjoong’s colder ones where they were still wrapped around the handle. “I’ll try,” he said, picking absently at the skin around his nails. “I’m just not used to anything like this.”

“And that is okay,” Hongjoong murmured, reaching out to grasp one of Seonghwa’s hands, preventing him from hurting himself. “Come on, would you like to go back upstairs with me? It would please me to talk to you about a few things, if that is okay. Nothing bad - I just do not want to let you carry any worry with you if I can help it.” 

Unsure what exactly he meant by that, Seonghwa nodded, following Hongjoong up the stairs and back down the hall where both of their bedrooms were. This time, Hongjoong stopped at the door to his own room, holding the door for Seonghwa before entering himself. “Do all vampires still believe in chivalry?” Seonghwa asked once they were inside. “The general consensus amongst humans is that it's dead.” 

Sitting down on the edge of his bed, Hongjoong beckoned Seonghwa to sit beside him. “I have been told by the others that I can be a bit too old fashioned, at times,” he admitted with a shrug. “But I believe there are parts of the past that never should have left us, and while it is important to keep up with the natural progression of society, I have also held onto the things that I believe to be important.” 

“Like what?” Seonghwa prompted as he sat down, genuinely curious. Like most humans, he knew the bare basics about vampires, but this kind of insight was completely unknown to him. 

“Mm, well… manners, in a general sense. I know I can be a bit forward, but your comfort is the most important thing to me. I really do mean that.” 

And Seonghwa believed him, because he had shown it through his actions, his words. The only reason he felt so comfortable already after such a short time was because of the efforts of the man beside him. “I know,” he assured, and they shared a smile. “What else?” 

“Music, too. I like the music from the past more than the present, for the most part. The musicality of those times was… quite different. I will play you a song one day, if you would like,” Hongjoong offered, and his passion was clear through his demeanor. 

“Do you play an instrument?” Seonghwa asked, curious. 

“Several,” Hongjoong replied. “Piano, violin, cello, harp, organ… I will not bore you with the whole list, but yes. Music has always been a part of my life, and it is something I hold very close to my heart.” 

Something about that was so beautiful to Seonghwa, for although he had never had the privilege of learning to play an instrument, he loved music. “I would really like that,” he said, answering Hongjoong’s question belatedly. “If you played me a song, I mean. I would love to hear you play.” 

Hongjoong winked, and Seonghwa’s heart fluttered. “Consider it done.” 

It seemed as if Hongjoong grew more and more appealing with every exchange between the two of them, and Seonghwa feared for his own resolve as he looked at the sharp, classic features of the vampire beside him. He felt safe here, and that alone was dangerous. The way his heart reacted to Hongjoong’s presence, the constant blush that colored his cheeks… he didn’t understand why this one man had garnered such a strong reaction from his body, but he was powerless to resist. 

Desperate to change the subject for the sake of his own sanity, Seonghwa cleared his throat, briefly pressing his curled fist to his mouth. “Why did you want to talk to me?” he asked, recalling Hongjoong’s words in the kitchen. “Is everything okay?” 

“I am more than okay,” Hongjoong replied cheekily, and Seonghwa had to fight the urge not to blush again. Dammit. He was supposed to be immune to such charms, but something about the way Hongjoong spoke and the somewhat traditional nature of his values was the perfect combination to bypass his defenses. 

He also never stopped holding eye contact, which made Seonghwa squirm constantly, although not necessarily in a bad way. He liked the attention, which was another odd change, considering how much of his life he had spent keeping his head down and trying to blend in with the rest of the world around him. To Hongjoong, he stood out despite making no effort to do so, and he was left wondering how he had even wound up here in the first place. 

“I would like to say a few things to you. A declaration of terms, in a sense. Terms that are not deemed important enough to go in the contract, but terms that I personally believe to be the most important of all. I would like to convey my intentions, and my perceptions of this arrangement, because I do not want your mind to wander to false conclusions. Will you listen?” 

His sincerity warmed Seonghwa’s heart, and he nodded easily, giving Hongjoong the okay to continue on. The way he spoke was a bit too formal, but Seonghwa found it to be incredibly endearing the more time they spent together. “First, I would like for you to know that you are still your own person. I am providing for you because I want to do it, but you are by no means indebted to me. I will never ask anything of you that you are not willing to give.” 

The sentiment itself was simple, but it meant the world to Seonghwa, and he pressed his lips together to keep himself from interrupting. “If you are not in the right state of mind for a feeding, I can wait. I have survived on blood bags for a very long time; it will not hurt me to resort back to that. Your well being and state of mind is far more important to me. At no point during this process will you ever be a slave to my whims. Many vampires treat their feeders in that way, but to me that is unforgivable. I will never do that to you.” 

He had no obligation to be saying any of this, but that was just the kind of person he was, Seonghwa was learning. Perhaps he had been human once, but no human Seonghwa had ever encountered would take the time to be this kind, this thorough. “Thank you,” he murmured, and for once, he was the one to initiate a touch. He touched his hand to Hongjoong’s knee for just a second, long enough to convey his meaning. “Before meeting you, I was really worried about that.” 

“I could see that in your face when we met,” Hongjoong admitted, eyes piercing. “But I do not see it there anymore. I take that as a good sign?” 

Smiling softly, Seonghwa nodded. “You’re not like anyone else I’ve met. I can see that now.” 

Hongjoong grinned, and if he weren’t already dead, Seonghwa suspected he would have blushed as well. “Good,” he replied, sounding rather pleased. “I think you will find that I am very different from both the humans you have known until now and the stories of vampires that you have heard.”

“Is that so?” 

“Yes.” Hongjoong didn’t miss a beat, the air around them suddenly charged with energy. “Anyone who does not appreciate you is simply not worth your time. I think you are an angel.” 

Taken aback, Seonghwa’s collected demeanor slipped, his eyes widening. “An angel?” he asked. “Why?” 

“You have been through a lot of hardship in your life, from what I see, although I will never pry. And when I have spoken to you thus far, you have been lovely, but when I watched you speak to Wooyoung I was overcome by how gentle you were. The world has not been kind to you, but still you are kind despite that. So, you are an angel.”

Blushing, Seonghwa couldn’t find the words to respond to that straight away. “I had the power to help him, so of course I did what I could,” he said, thinking back to the feeling of Wooyoung’s cold hand held between both of his own. “I would do it again. I will do it again, if he needs that. He seems like a sweet boy.” 

“He is,” Hongjoong replied, his features softening. “He is very sweet. But this fledgling period… it has been hard on him. I worry about him.” 

“I understand that,” Seonghwa murmured. “But it seems like you do a great job as their leader. They all look up to you, I can see that already. He’ll be okay, but you have to believe it. Because when he struggles to believe it, he needs to be able to rely on you.”

Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa for a moment, thoughtful. “You are right,” he decided, his voice soft. “Thank you.” 

“It’s nothing,” Seonghwa replied, mostly because he was squirming under all of the praise Hongjoong kept sending his way. “What else did you want to talk to me about, though? The terms you mentioned, it sounded like you had more to say.” 

With a nod, Hongjoong continued on. “Something that I think all vampires need to understand is that humans do not need us. Your kind would survive perfectly fine without us. But my kind, vampires, we need humans in order to survive. Our undead lifespan means little if we do not have the blood we need, and we can only get that blood from one source. Someone like you, who is willing to provide blood, should be treated with the utmost respect and gratitude.” 

“I’m afraid that no one else sees it that way,” Seonghwa said, although he figured Hongjoong already knew that truth. “Vampires or humans. Like you said, most vampires treat their feeders like slaves, and humans hate feeders. Most humans think feeders are worse than the vampires themselves.” 

Visibly bothered by this, Hongjoong shook his head. “I do not understand it,” he admitted, pressing his hand briefly to his brow. “Our world has come very far in a lot of ways, but in some ways it has not changed at all. In some ways, it has worsened. Would you agree?” 

“Yeah,” Seonghwa murmured. “I would.” 

Hongjoong nudged Seonghwa’s side with his elbow in a playful manner, in an attempt to lighten the mood now that it had taken a somber turn. “For as long as you are here, you will not need to worry about those things,” he said. “You are my feeder in the eyes of the law, but I would much rather you be my… friend, at minimum. Feeding is not all you are good for; never think that. Your blood is the least important part of you.”

At minimum? Seonghwa chose not to comment on that, mostly because he didn’t know if he could handle the answer he would receive. “How often do vampires need to feed?’ he asked instead, shifting the subject. “I don’t know much about how that whole thing works.” 

“In the case of a full length feed, then usually only once per night. But that may be difficult for us to work out, at least at first, since you are used to sleeping during the night. That is okay, though; you need your sleep. You are probably tired right now.” He looked at Seonghwa inquiringly, searching for signs of fatigue in his face.

Truthfully, Seonghwa’s eyelids were beginning to grow heavy, but he could hold out for a bit longer. “It’s okay,” he assured, mustering a small smile for Hongjoong’s sake. “But… it’s safe for you to feed from the same human every day? Won’t I lose a lot of blood?” 

“For donors, yes. Humans are required to give blood bimonthly in order for their bodies to replenish the blood they have lost in full before the next donation. But vampires are designed to feed from the source - my saliva does more than numb your pain and heal the puncture marks afterwards. It also stimulates blood production, which allows for continued feeding. I also do not require a large amount of blood per feeding; the pint of blood collected during donations can feed several vampires.” 

When Seonghwa nodded in understanding, his worries assuaged, Hongjoong continued. “Whenever you need sleep, please sleep. It is okay if we cannot arrange a feeding every day; blood bags are always an option. But when I do feed from you, it will be just like the first time. A full length feed is longer, and you will feel the effects of the drug for a longer span of time afterwards, but I will stay with you until you feel normal again. I will take care of you.” 

He had already proven that, although Seonghwa’s memory of his time under the drug was fuzzy. “Well, you can feed from me now if you want,” he proposed, a ball of nerves immediately encasing his heart. “You’re probably hungry.” 

For once, Hongjoong was the one taken aback, his lips parting in surprise. “Would you not prefer to go to sleep?” he asked, blinking. “We do not have to do a feeding today, it is not a big deal.” 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa appeased, resting his hand on Hongjoong’s knee again. “I don’t mind. If anything, that drug might help me to fall asleep, no?”

“I suppose,” Hongjoong agreed, albeit reluctantly. “But… are you sure? I do not want to force you-”

“I’m offering,” Seonghwa interrupted, his lips twitching upwards. “If anything, now I feel like I’m the one forcing you.” 

A low laugh rumbled in Hongjoong’s chest at that, and he finally ceded with a nod. “Okay, then. But if you decide you have had enough, we can finish. I will not mind.” 

Seonghwa nodded, resisting the urge to touch his neck, his skin flaming at the memory of Hongjoong’s mouth, his fangs. “Should we just, um, sit here again?” he asked. “This feeding will be longer, right?” 

“Yes,” Hongjoong said, gesturing at the expanse of the rest of the bed. “When the drug takes effect, you will likely want to lie down. You may lie down now, if you would like. It may be easier, that way.” 

Positive that his entire face was red by now, Seonghwa stared towards the head of the bed, where twin pillows rested over the carefully arranged comforter. “Um, okay,” he said eventually, because if he were to protest, he would only prolong his own discomposure. At least once the drug was in his system, he wouldn’t have the mental capacity to feel flustered like this. 

He shifted further up the bed, lying down on his back with the back of his head against one of the pillows, staring up at the ceiling with his pulse pounding in his ears. This really didn’t need to feel so intimate, but he felt naked lying there, the mattress shifting as Hongjoong moved to fill the other side of the bed beside Seonghwa. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice quieter now. 

Seonghwa nodded, swallowing. “Yeah,” he replied, although his heart was pounding fast enough to be concerning. “Um, you can do it now. Whenever you want.”

He tilted his head to look at Hongjoong, only to find a playful grin on his face, fangs exposed. “There is no need to be so nervous,” he teased, and Seonghwa fought his desire to smack that look right off of those timeless features. “You will be okay. I promise.” 

“I know that,” Seonghwa said through gritted teeth, which only earned him a tinkling laugh. “You’ve made that very clear.” 

“Then why are you so nervous?” Hongjoong asked innocently. 

Seonghwa had walked right into that one, and he groaned. “I’m not answering that. Get on with it.” 

Leaning in closer, Hongjoong moved some of Seonghwa’s hair in order to expose his neck, brushing it behind his ear with a careful hand. “You do not have to answer, it is okay,” he murmured, his breath brushing over Seonghwa’s neck, an immediate chill jolting his frame. “I will have fun thinking about the answer to that question on my own.” 

“Oh my god,” Seonghwa muttered, covering his face with his hands. “If you keep teasing me, I’m seriously gonna-”

“Okay, okay,” Hongjoong appeased, and now his mouth was actually touching Seonghwa’s neck, for he could feel how his lips moved around the words. “I will stop. Take a deep breath for me, darling.”

Feeling about two seconds from a heart attack, Seonghwa did as he was told, sucking in a long inhale through his nose before releasing it from his mouth. Once he was finished, he felt the first prick of Hongjoong’s fangs against his skin, a sharp pain searing his flesh for just a second before the area numbed over. A soft sound escaped Seonghwa’s lips, and Hongjoong reached out to cover Seonghwa’s hand with his own, a silent gesture of support.

Within seconds, Seonghwa’s mind began to swim, the drug taking effect. He didn’t try to fight it, his body instantly relaxing into the mattress, and he was grateful that Hongjoong had told him to lie down this time. It was more comfortable, and with the drug coursing through him he could focus on nothing other than the soft mattress below him and the sensation of Hongjoong’s mouth against his neck, blood pulled from his body with the slight pressure of every suck. 

The situation was intimate, but Seonghwa supposed that was unavoidable considering the nature of feeding. With Hongjoong’s fangs in his neck, they had to develop a certain level of closeness, and he could feel Hongjoong’s legs brushing against his own, that hand still resting against his arm. 

Seonghwa wasn’t afraid, and he lost himself in the high that encased his mind. The feeling wasn’t scary, not like the effect of many human drugs that induced hallucinations and the like. All this drug did was make him relax, inducing pleasure that started within his mind, calming his muscles and calming his rapid heartbeat. 

Unlike the last time, this feeding went on for far longer, and Seonghwa stared up at the ceiling, blinking sluggishly as more and more of his blood was drawn from his system. He trusted Hongjoong to only take what he needed, but his fangs could only extract a small amount of blood with each suck, and the time floated by as Seonghwa drifted within his own mind. 

At one point, Hongjoong pulled back from Seonghwa’s neck for long enough to look at him, using a gentle hand to tap Seonghwa’s cheek and get his attention. A small smudge of blood clung to the corner of Hongjoong’s mouth, and Seonghwa couldn’t look away from it, his throat constricting at the sight. “Is it okay so far?” Hongjoong asked. “Do you need me to stop?” 

Blinking sluggishly, Seonghwa shook his head after a short delay. He tried to raise his hand to brush away the blood from Hongjoong’s mouth, but his movements were too uncoordinated, and he wound up nearly poking Hongjoong in the eye. “Sorry,” he mumbled, trying again. “You have some blood… right there. I, um, don’t like blood. I don’t like seeing it.” 

He never would have tried to brush the blood away if he were in the right state of mind, but Hongjoong caught his hand within his own, using his tongue to quickly clear the blood away. Seonghwa blinked and the blood was gone, and he was able to breathe a bit easier, his momentary panic dissipating. Hongjoong watched him with a soft frown, his throat moving visibly as he swallowed before speaking. “Sorry about that,” he murmured. “Thank you.” 

“You can keep going, ‘s okay,” Seonghwa reassured, his head flopping back against the pillow once more, the ceiling spinning slightly up above his head. 

Hongjoong stared at him for another moment before nodding and returning his fangs to Seonghwa’s neck to resume the feeding. This time, one of his hands found Seonghwa’s waist, resting there lightly. Seonghwa’s breath hitched at the contact, and he bared his neck a bit more, giving Hongjoong better access to his blood. 

Did a full feeding like this technically bond the two of them together in some way, beyond just the contract? Seonghwa’s blood would be within Hongjoong’s body; didn’t that have to mean something? Although, he didn’t know much about how a vampire’s body changed after their human death, and he wasn’t in the right state of mind to ponder the idea any further, so he let it go. 

Another few minutes passed by, and this time when Hongjoong retracted his fangs from Seonghwa’s neck, he licked over the wounded area to accelerate the healing process and prevent scarring, just as he had done the first time. Seonghwa made a sound when Hongjoong pulled away, the hand disappearing from his waist. He wasn’t sure how to feel, too dazed from the drug to think straight, but he didn’t want to be alone. 

“Don’ leave,” he slurred, blinking a few times in an attempt to clear his vision, surprised to realize that his eyes were now filled with tears. “Please.” He looked towards Hongjoong to find that he had turned away, hunched over the bedside table with his back facing Seonghwa.

However, when he heard Seonghwa’s voice, he quickly finished his rummaging and turned back around, expression softening when he noticed Seonghwa’s quick change in emotions. “Oh, darling, I will never leave you. Have I not told you that? But I need to take care of you as well, and after losing blood, you need to drink something. Can I help you to sit upright?” 

Blinking hard, Seonghwa nodded, and Hongjoong’s arms came around his waist to prop him up against the pillows. Although Seonghwa was taller than Hongjoong, he didn’t seem to struggle whatsoever, strength hiding within his small frame. His grip was firm but gentle, and he only let go once Seonghwa was in a sitting position, his legs stretched out across the bed. 

“Here you go,” he said, placing something in Seonghwa’s hand and wrapping his fingers around it. “Drink some of that for me, please.” 

Seonghwa looked down at his hand to find that he was now holding a juice box, the straw already poked through the top for him, and he raised it to his lips without protest. It was apple juice, and the sweetness was pleasant as he drank from it, draining the whole thing in a matter of moments. 

He felt slightly more grounded after that, although the drug was still in full effect, and Hongjoong took the empty juice box from him as soon as he lowered it back down. “Good job,” he praised, and his words were warm in a way that made Seonghwa’s heart ache. “You did so great, darling. You can rest now, I can see how tired you are.”

Slumping back against the pillows, Seonghwa shifted back to lying down, never looking away from Hongjoong. He was afraid that he was going to leave, and with his inhibitions lowered now, he didn’t want to be alone. “You won’t leave?’ he asked, voice small. 

“No, I won’t,” Hongjoong assured. “Would you like it if I brought you to your room, so that you can fall asleep there? I promise that I will stay, if you want me to.” 

“Stay,” Seonghwa insisted, reaching for Hongjoong’s sleeve, catching it in his weak grip. “Please.” 

Hongjoong’s lips curved gently, and he nodded. “I will. Come here, let me carry you.” Seonghwa tried to do as he asked, but his movements weren’t very helpful. Still, Hongjoong stood from the bed and leaned over to slide one arm beneath Seonghwa’s back, the other in the crook of his knees. He lifted him up like that, and suddenly Seonghwa found himself cradled to a still chest, no heartbeat inside. 

He rested his head against Hongjoong’s chest anyway, and he let his eyes begin to droop as Hongjoong moved from the room, going next door instead. They entered Seonghwa’s new room, and he set Seonghwa down gently on the bed, with his head resting against the pillow. “There you go,” he murmured. “Go to sleep, it’s okay. I am not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” Seonghwa asked, the word muffled, his lips numb. 

“I promise,” Hongjoong soothed, sitting down on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping beneath him. “I’ll sit right here until you fall asleep. You are not alone anymore.” 

You are not alone anymore. A simple sentiment, but one that brought Seonghwa enough comfort for him to close his eyes at last, his exhaustion swallowing every last thought inside of his mind. But before he fully let himself fall into sleep, he felt a cold hand brush lightly over his cheek, and he clung to the comfort that maybe his life was still capable of redirecting even after twenty-six years.

Maybe, for the first time, he had a purpose. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #14: Any human who is twenty years of age or above and wishes to be turned must complete a lengthy application process as well as a full physical health and psychological competence evaluation. Upon completion of this process, a human may not be turned until they reach the top of the national waitlist in their country. If an applicant is deemed to be vital in their position within human society, or if they have any criminal activity noted on their record, their application to the waitlist may be declined without appeal. 

~

Over the next few days, Seonghwa spent most of his time alone, although not necessarily by his own choice. As Hongjoong had mentioned, his sleep schedule was opposite that of the vampires whom he now lived with, and they were only awake at the same time for a handful of hours around dawn and dusk. Hongjoong was still the vampire he spent the most time with due to their arrangement, but he always enjoyed the moments he spent with the others, although fleeting.

Seonghwa found that the time he spent alone was pleasant, however, for it was quite different from how he used to live. Now that he had a room inside of a house, he didn’t need to spend the day wandering the city, desperate for something to fulfill him as every day continued on the same as the last. His life had more of a structure now, and he had food and shelter at his disposal, which was brand new to him. Without spending all of his time worrying about his next meal and if he would make his rent payments on time, he had time to spend on other things instead.

On his second day at the coven house, Jongho had shown him how to place an order to have items arrive at their door. He could order anything he wanted, ranging from clothes to food to home goods to anything else under the sun. In a separate room of the house that was termed ‘the study’, all he had to do was sit in front of the computer and add the things he wanted to his cart before making the purchase, and the order would arrive within a day or two. It felt like magic, and as soon as his first check came through into his bank account, he decided to buy a few things.

He didn’t tell Hongjoong, because he was sure that the vampire would insist on paying for all of it, and he didn’t need a lot of things anyway. All he purchased were a few clothing pieces that appealed to his brand new sense of personal style, along with some supplies for a few hobbies that he had always been interested in. A notebook for drawing, a set of colored pencils, and a beginner’s kit to learn how to crochet a simple pink bunny. He had never owned a stuffed animal, but he had always wanted one, so the idea of making one himself was perfect.

Once everything arrived at the doorstep, he spent his hours of alone time during the day attending to his new hobbies, discovering a creative side of himself that he had never had the privilege to pursue before. Even when he failed at crocheting a few times and had to start over, he couldn’t keep the smile off his face, overjoyed that his greatest frustration at the moment centered around a length of fluffy pink yarn. In a matter of days, his entire life had changed, and he was actually happy.

Aside from the items he had purchased for himself, his other favorite thing about his new life in the coven house was the refrigerator and all of the food stocked within it. Seonghwa had never cooked before, but he started to learn, printing out recipes from the computer in the study before bringing them into the kitchen and making his best attempt at replicating the directions. He wasn’t always successful, but everything tasted delicious to him anyway, even if it had been partially charred in the oven or seasoned incorrectly.

In truth, Seonghwa had always had a hard time actually tasting flavors, which was part of why he had been able to survive off of such measly scraps for so long. Everything tasted kind of bland to him, and now that he was learning how to make his own food, he seasoned everything so heavily that the aromas filled the entire house, lingering even for hours afterwards.

After receiving a new order of groceries courtesy of Hongjoong about a week after the first, Seonghwa set out to make himself steak. He had been experimenting with the way he liked his meat cooked, and now he was quite proud of himself for the outcome. All of his printed recipes were held together by a binder clip that Yunho had given him, and he referred back to the written instructions when he needed to, until he was finished. His stomach rumbled as he arranged his finished plate, and he quickly washed the last of his dishes before taking his plate and heading for the front door.

He liked living out in the forest, because the city itself had always held such misery, the setting of the worst times of his life. But here in the forest, he felt as if he could start anew, and he ate most of his meals outside on the porch in one of the few chairs arranged around a small table. The air held a slight chill, but his sweater kept him warm as he began to eat, humming to himself in satisfaction.

Birds twittered in the nearby trees, and he caught the occasional glimpse of small creatures darting through the foliage, squirrels and rabbits and even the occasional red fox. At this time of evening, diurnal and nocturnal creatures coexisted for a short time, and he even caught a glimpse of a bat flying over the coven house, landing briefly on one of the second floor window sills. The world was so peaceful when humans weren’t around to disturb anything, and Seonghwa wished that forests weren’t so limited. He preferred this over the city any day. 

He smiled to himself as he remembered when Hongjoong had told him that squirrels were his favorite animal, watching those bushy tails as they scurried up the trees around the coven house, chasing each other and picking up acorns from the ground. He wondered what it would be like to be an animal like that, to not have to worry about human and vampire regulations, and politics, and all of the aspects of humanity that had wronged Seonghwa since his birth.

Pressing a hand to his neck, he pursed his lips, staring down at his now empty plate. He was beyond grateful that he now had a place to stay, but he couldn’t help but think sometimes about how different he might be if his life had gone down a different path. If his parents had been in the picture, raising him the way that a child was meant to be raised. If he hadn’t been bait for vampires as a baby, until he was found abandoned and nearly dead in an alley within the city and brought to the orphanage where he had spent most of his life. 

He had mostly made peace with those parts of his past, considering that he had been far too young to remember the trauma that he had suffered in the first two years of his life, but it would still haunt him for as long as he could still draw breath. The vampires around him now were all gentle and kind, but the scars on his neck stood as clear evidence that not all vampires were like this. It would do him well to be cautious, because especially out here in the forest, anything could happen.

A shiver crawled down his spine with the eight spindly legs of a spider, and he turned his head to the glimpses of the sky that he could make out through the trees, now colored with the vibrant hues of a sunset. The sunset was more beautiful out here than it had been in the city, and Seonghwa was captivated by the image as the colors shifted and darkened, the first hints of stars peaking through the leaves as well before the sun sank fully beneath the horizon.

When the sunset disappeared, the night sky blanketed the earth in all of its glory, and Seonghwa wrapped his arms around himself as he stared up at the stars, although the trees obstructed most of his view. He didn’t know any constellations or anything like that, but he had still always liked to look at the night sky, for the appearance of the moon served as proof that he had survived another day. It reminded him that he was as deserving of being alive as anyone else, even if he had often been made to think otherwise.

Once darkness settled over the forest, the front door of the coven house opened, distracting Seonghwa from the owl he had been observing as it flew low through the trees. He turned his head to find Hongjoong standing there, his form shadowed in the night, a long cloak blanketing his shoulders and brushing the porch floor as he approached.

“Hi,” Seonghwa greeted, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around his folded legs as Hongjoong sat down in the chair opposite him. “Did you sleep well?”

Hongjoong nodded, shadows pooling beneath his cheekbones and within the sockets of his eyes. In this light, he looked more like a vampire than a man, and Seonghwa could almost believe that he was dangerous. At least, until he smiled softly, an expression which shattered the image completely. His fangs poked out from behind his lips, luminous in the moonlight. “Yes,” he answered. “Thank you for asking.”

A gust of wind blew past the house, and Seonghwa shivered slightly. Although he had been warm enough before in only his sweater, the disappearance of the sun had lowered the temperature further.

Without a word, Hongjoong removed his cloak and stood from his seat, crossing around to the other side of the porch table to drop it down over Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Oh, um, you don’t have to-” Seonghwa started to protest, but he clamped his mouth shut when Hongjoong leaned forward to speak, his breath ghosting past Seonghwa’s ear.

“I do not need it,” he said, no louder than a murmur. “The cold has no effect on me. I only wore it for you.”

He returned to his seat, and Seonghwa pulled the cloak around himself, grateful to the night for covering his blush. Of course Hongjoong didn’t need the cloak - he couldn’t feel the cold. I only wore it for you. Such a simple sentence, but Seonghwa’s heart skipped a beat, his head spinning as he breathed in Hongjoong’s scent that still clung to the fabric. “You smell like the rain,” he said as Hongjoong settled back down.

Cocking his head in interest, Hongjoong held Seonghwa’s gaze. “Is that so?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded.

“It’s one of my favorite smells,” he admitted, and Hongjoong lit up at that. “It’s subtle, but calming, too. I like it.”

“As long as you like it, that is what matters the most to me,” Hongjoong answered seriously, crossing one of his legs over the other as he leaned back in his chair. Now that his cloak was gone, Seonghwa could see his shirt in full, a white silk garment with buttons spaced down the front. He always dressed like this, old fashioned in a way that was still acceptable, and again Seonghwa found himself fascinated by the line that Hongjoong walked between the past and present. Vampires did not age, he was well aware of that fact, but this was the first time he had ever truly understood what it meant for someone to be timeless.

Biting at his lower lip, Seonghwa observed Hongjoong from across the table, the breeze shifting the vampire’s hair forward into his face. “Is there a reason why you came out here?” he asked eventually, breaking the comfortable silence between them. That was another thing he liked about Hongjoong - his presence was always warm, and he never made Seonghwa feel nervous. At least, not the bad kind of nervous.

“Because you are out here,” Hongjoong said simply. “I worry that sometimes it may be dangerous for you to leave here. Not because I own you, but because of the other vampires that live in this city. They are not all so kind.”

“I wasn’t planning on leaving,” Seonghwa reassured, flattered that Hongjoong cared about his safety. “And if I ever did have to leave for something, I would only go during the day. I don’t like going through the city at night.”

Hongjoong leaned forward, resting his elbows against the table. His sleeves fell to expose his wrists, slender and pale in the light of the moon. “Do you know the eight bloodlines?” he asked, his tone serious. “This is something you must know, for your own safety. You know that we are immortalists, but do you know the rest?”

Feeling a bit embarrassed, Seonghwa shook his head. “I only know of a few,” he admitted, rubbing the sides of his sneakers together under the table. “I don’t know a lot about vampires. Most of those details are kept from humans, unless if you’re someone of importance, which I am most certainly not. I don’t even really know why the bloodlines are so important. What makes you different from any other vampire? Aren’t all of you immortal, anyway?”

“We can discuss all of that at another time,” Hongjoong promised. “There is a lot of information for you to learn. For now, I will simply tell you what an immortalist is. Although vampires are dead, we can still be injured, but we can only be killed in a few specific ways. However, when we are injured, it can take a very long time for wounds to heal, because our bodies do not regenerate with the same speed as human healing. We are called immortalists because our wounds heal immediately. Would you like to see?”

Processing the information, Seonghwa immediately tried to protest. “You don’t have to hurt yourself just to show me, I think I get the point-”

Without breaking eye contact, Hongjoong grabbed his own pinky finger and snapped it, the sound of crunching bone disrupting the otherwise peaceful environment. “Oh my god!” Seonghwa jumped out of his chair, mouth agape as he rushed to the other side of the table, staring at Hongjoong’s evidently broken finger. At the first knuckle, it was now bent and pointing in the wrong direction, the sight of which made Seonghwa’s stomach churn as he reached for Hongjoong’s hand, cradling it carefully between his own. “Why would you do that, oh my god-”

“It is not a big deal, look,” Hongjoong countered, his voice completely unaffected by the injury. Seonghwa watched as his finger straightened again with another crack, although he hadn’t touched it at all to set it back in place. The swelling and discoloration immediately went away, and Seonghwa was left staring at a normal pinky finger. “Like I said, we heal instantly. The only way for us to die is for a stake of wood to go straight through the heart, killing us before we can heal. Or decapitation, or being burned alive, or going out in the sun. Pure silver can inflict damage, but it is not deadly.”

As he stood in front of Hongjoong, Seonghwa stared at him with wide eyes, still holding his completely healed hand. “Why are you telling me that!” he practically shrieked, unable to fathom how Hongjoong was still so unbothered. “That’s, like, the biggest secret about vampires! Humans speculate, but we don’t actually know what’s true and what’s myth! I could kill you with that information, do you not get that?”

“But you will not,” Hongjoong countered, his lips curving. “So what does it matter?”

Letting go of Hongjoong’s hand, Seonghwa instead dropped his head into his own hands with a groan. “You’re too reckless,” he muttered, and much to his irritation, all Hongjoong did was laugh. “I’m serious! You’ll get yourself killed if you act so careless.”

“You forget that I have survived this long,” Hongjoong pointed out, and Seonghwa rolled his eyes. “I am not careless. I simply know who I can trust.”

“You’ve known me for a week, Mr ‘I’m-so-old-and-wise.’ You know nothing about me.”

Hongjoong shrugged. “You say that as if it matters. It does not. I like you, Seonghwa. You are most endearing when you lose your composure.” All that did was make Seonghwa gape at him again, which Hongjoong seemed to find quite hilarious.

Pulling the cloak tighter around himself, Seonghwa turned around to face the forest again instead, bracing his hands against the black railing that circled the porch. He spoke without looking at Hongjoong, for his heart couldn’t bear another moment of that smug expression. “Whatever. That doesn’t change the fact that you don’t know the first thing about me. You can’t be sure that I won’t just decide to kill you one day when your teasing pushes me over the edge.”

He didn’t receive a response right away, and he exhaled a slow breath as he enjoyed the silence, the night breeze caressing his cheeks and blowing his bangs away from his face. Hongjoong’s cloak was well made, and it kept the chill away, allowing him to enjoy the peace that surrounded this house in the middle of the woods. Now that he had spent time out here, he could never go back to the urban disorder of the city.

A quiet rustling sound came from behind him, and then Hongjoong’s presence was impossible to ignore, his chest pressing against Seonghwa’s back as he rested his hands against the railing as well, effectively caging Seonghwa in place. Seonghwa froze, his breathing coming to a halt as Hongjoong spoke, his lips right beside Seonghwa’s left ear. “Well, I want to know more about you. You know that, do you not?”

Swallowing with force, Seonghwa kept his eyes trained forwards, although he couldn’t even think straight with Hongjoong’s body pressed against his own like this. But at the same time, he didn’t want to free himself, even though he easily could have. He was bigger than Hongjoong - he could break out of the cage of his arms, if he wanted to.

The problem was that he didn’t want to.

“Well, that’s too bad,” he managed to say, trying to keep the strain out of his voice. “Because I’m not telling you anything.”

When Hongjoong chuckled, chills spread over Seonghwa’s neck, and he fought the urge to shudder. “I already know more than you think I do,” he said, his voice still soft, his accent adding to the sultriness of his tone. “I will learn more, with time. You interest me, Seonghwa.”

“I’ve barely told you anything,” Seonghwa protested, and he swore the stars were winking at him, mocking him from all the way up in the sky. “Anything you think you know is just from inferences you’ve drawn on your own. Don’t get too cocky.”

Hongjoong hummed, unbothered by this, much to Seonghwa’s irritation. Did anything ever bother him? He never reacted to anything, and Seonghwa couldn’t stop himself from reacting to everything, which left him feeling like he never had the upper hand. Which, truth be told, he never did. For a moment, he considered moving one of his legs backwards to step on Hongjoong’s toes in hopes of drawing a reaction out of him, but that probably wouldn’t bother him either. He would probably find it endearing, if his earlier words held any truth.

“I know that you like your steak cooked rare. I know that you over season your food. I know that you’re right handed. I know that bunnies are your favorite animal. I know that you like the color pink. I know that you have a kind soul, even though life has not treated you well. I know that you hug your pillow when you sleep. I know-”

“Okay, stop!” Seonghwa finally blurted, letting go of the porch railing and turning around to face Hongjoong. Now the railing pressed into his back, and they were still standing way too close for comfort, breath mingling as they looked at each other. “I get your point. Why did you watch me sleep, that’s creepy!”

Still grinning, Hongjoong didn’t move his arms, leaning in a bit closer. “You always ask me to stay with you after a feeding. I wait until you are fully asleep. You like to hug your pillow.”

Face flaming, Seonghwa shook his head. “I’m not going to ask you to stay anymore,” he threatened, and even that didn’t trip up Hongjoong, his expression not faltering in the slightest.

“That is not true,” he said, not a hint of doubt behind his words. “You do not like to be alone. You like it when I stay.”

The worst part about all of this was that every word Hongjoong said was true, and Seonghwa couldn’t even think straight when they were positioned like this, a mere breath’s distance from each other. He couldn’t resist the urge to glance at Hongjoong’s lips, and when their eyes met again, Hongjoong was smirking. Fuck. “What happened to being nice to me?” Seonghwa whined, finally unable to keep up his end of… whatever this was. “Stop teasing.”

Hongjoong’s expression softened immediately at that, and his arms moved closer to Seonghwa’s body, now touching his waist on either side. “That was all you had to say, darling,” he said innocently, the stars reflected in the dark color of his eyes. His irises held galaxies of their own, and Seonghwa’s breath hitched as he stood there, frozen in place. “You know your comfort is what matters to me the most.”

“I really don’t think I can handle you,” Seonghwa breathed, the thought coming out before he could force himself to keep his mouth shut. “I’m way too far out of my depth here.”

“I do not agree,” Hongjoong said with a slight shake of his head. “I believe you are the only one who can.”

Seonghwa’s blush deepened at that, his heart doing funny things under that stare. “Why are you so adamant about that?” he whispered, unable to find his voice. “I haven’t done anything to warrant your interest.”

“Ah,” Hongjoong murmured, tilting his head slightly to one side. “Yes you have. I find everything about you to be interesting.” Seonghwa parted his lips, although any attempt to speak died in his throat when Hongjoong’s finger pressed gently against his mouth, keeping him quiet. “You do not have to do anything to warrant my interest like you say. I like you the way you are.”

He said the words so easily, and yet they hit Seonghwa directly in the heart, his eyes burning the next second as he blinked a few times. “You can’t just say things like that,” he replied, the words slightly choked. Surrounded by only the forest and the stars, Seonghwa found it easier to be honest, and when he looked into those kind eyes it all came tumbling right out of his mouth. “I’m really used to being alone, okay? And if you say things like that, I’ll forget how to be alone, and that will only make my life harder later on. So just…” he sighed, biting the inside of his cheek. “This can’t amount to anything, anyway. I know that my life is a blip compared to yours, but don’t play with me. Please.”

As soon as he was done, Hongjoong’s expression had already shifted, all hints of amusement gone now. He dropped his arms, and Seonghwa missed his touch as soon as it was gone. “My intention was never to play with you,” he said seriously. “I apologize if I came off that way. But you must understand… you do not need to be alone. You may stay here for as long as you desire.”

Looking down at his shoes, Seonghwa sucked in a breath. “Do you really mean that?” he asked, although he had asked similar questions countless times already. But Hongjoong never stopped reassuring him, and now was no exception, either.

“Of course I do,” he said firmly, and when he reached out again, Seonghwa expected to feel that cold touch against his hands, or his face, but that was not the case. All Hongjoong did was adjust the cloak to wrap more fully around Seonghwa’s frame, buttoning the front to keep it closed. “I will prove it to you. You will see.”

Seonghwa glanced up at him again, and after a moment of silence he nodded. “Okay,” he whispered. “I’ll wait for you to prove it to me, then.”

“Very well,” Hongjoong agreed, gesturing towards the front door. “Shall we go inside? You will be tired soon. I would also like to give you something.” He reached across the table, grabbing the plate that Seonghwa had left there after finishing his dinner. 

Once Seonghwa nodded, the two of them headed inside, Seonghwa’s interest now piqued after that last sentence. “You want to give me something?” he asked as he stepped back inside, Hongjoong holding the door open as he always did. “What is it?” 

Hongjoong just smiled, walking past Seonghwa and bringing him into the living room. None of the others were around yet, for they had the tendency to linger in their rooms for a while after the sunset, not waking up until closer to midnight. Hongjoong wasn’t normally awake at this time either, but he was quite lively tonight. 

The two of them sat down on the loveseat, and Hongjoong set down the plate before he slid his hand into one of the front pockets of his pants, pulling out an object. It fit in the palm of his hand, and he held it out for Seonghwa to see. A small metal rectangle, long and thin, with various gemstones encrusted within the silver exterior. “What is this?” he asked, taking it from Hongjoong and running his fingers over the ridges between the gems. 

“It’s a knife,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa frowned, looking at it more closely. He couldn’t see any sign of a blade, and he glanced up at Hongjoong, willing him to elaborate. “If you press down on the right stone, the blade will come out. Let me show you.” 

Seonghwa let the knife sit in his palm, and Hongjoong reached over to touch it, his fingers just barely brushing over Seonghwa’s skin. “This ruby, right here. See how it is a bit larger than the others, and it sits in the center? If you press down on it, the blade will come out. But make sure you are holding it correctly so that you do not hurt yourself. The flat emerald marks where the blade will emerge from, right here.” 

He touched the stone he was referencing, and Seonghwa flipped the knife around, allowing the emerald stone to point away from himself. Then, he rested one of his thumbs against the ruby that Hongjoong had pointed out, and he pressed down on it. Quite a bit of pressure was required, and he supposed that was a good thing, so that he wouldn’t accidentally stab himself. 

However, once he pressed down with enough force, a blade emerged from within the gemstone-encrusted handle, and he gasped at the speed with which it moved. Now, he was staring at a unique blade, the end curved into a sharp point while the base was thicker and more sturdy. 

The blade was not that of a typical knife, he realized as he stared at it, and he moved one of his hands to lightly brush over the blunt side. While the outline of the blade was made from expertly crafted silver, free of any blemishes and glowing in the warm light of the roaring fireplace, the center of it was made from wood. 

Silver and wood - an obvious combination, and Seonghwa now understood why Hongjoong had gifted him this. 

“So first you tell me how to kill a vampire,” he murmured, looking at Hongjoong once more, those smoldering eyes already watching him. “And now you give me the perfect weapon to follow through?” 

Hongjoong smiled, and his fangs looked sharper than any blade, entrancing in their own lethal way. “You must be able to protect yourself,” he replied in earnest. “If you drive this blade through the heart of a vampire, they will die. Blades like this one were only ever made a long time ago. Humans are not permitted to wield them, but I need you to have this. In case you ever need it.” 

“If this is the key to killing you, why do you even have it?” Seonghwa asked, his curiosity winning out. “Why didn’t you destroy it?” 

“This blade that I gift to you now used to belong to me,” Hongjoong said, reaching out to press the ruby again and retract the blade before closing Seonghwa’s fingers around it. “When I was a human, a long time ago. I killed many vampires with this weapon. But I wish for you to have it, because I know that it will keep you safe.” 

Hongjoong had never shared a word of his past with Seonghwa before now, and that was certainly not what he had expected to hear. “You… killed vampires?” he asked, looking down at the knife in his grasp, imagining a human Hongjoong wielding it prior to his turning. “I didn’t know that.” 

“It was a long time ago,” Hongjoong said cryptically, and Seonghwa could tell that he wasn’t interested in offering any further information right now, which was okay. After all, Seonghwa had shared very little about his own past, so it would be unfair for him to expect that from someone else. “It is yours now. Keep it on your person at all times. Please.” 

Seonghwa nodded, clutching the knife tight, the gems pressing into his skin. “I will,” he promised, although he hoped he would never have to use it. Violence wasn’t new to him, as it was often difficult to avoid on the streets of the city, but Seonghwa had always erred more on the side of flight than fight. 

He slid the knife into his own pocket now, making a mental vow to always keep it with him. If Hongjoong was concerned enough about other vampires to ask him to carry it, then he would obey. Just because he preferred to avoid violence did not mean he wouldn’t use it if the opportunity arose. 

At the end of the day, he would rather kill than be killed. 

~

Seonghwa blinked his eyes open, staring up at the ceiling, still not quite used to waking up in this bed. All of the aches and pains caused by the time spent sleeping in his car had disappeared, soothed away by the large, comfortable mattress beneath him. He moved his hand to his neck straight away, just as he did every morning, but no pain met his touch. The places where Hongjoong’s fangs had pierced his skin healed every time, and he smiled softly to himself as he sat up. 

The blankets pooled around his waist, and yawned, stretching his arms over his head. His back cracked in a few places, and he rubbed at his eyes to clear the blur of sleep out of his vision. Sunlight was already streaming through his window, the sun higher in the sky than it usually was when he woke up; he had slept in, then. 

That was okay, because he didn’t have any obligations to attend to other than the rumble of hunger in his stomach. The antique clock on his wall told him that it was already lunch time, and he forced himself out of bed, padding over to his closet and pulling the door open. 

Now that he owned more clothes than he had at any other point in his life, he had a wider selection to choose from, but he opted for something comfortable today. A pair of loose jeans and a brown sweater, so soft that he couldn’t stop touching the material even after he had already pulled it on. He slid the knife Hongjoong had given him into his pocket as well, upholding his promise. Pulling on a pair of socks, Seonghwa then vacated his room, making a stop in the bathroom to brush his teeth and fix his appearance before quietly moving through the hallway towards the staircase. 

As far as he knew, most of the other vampires also slept on the second floor, other than Wooyoung and San who occupied the third floor. Although Hongjoong hadn’t said it outright, Seonghwa suspected that the two of them slept upstairs for his safety, in case Wooyoung ever lost control. 

He understood that fledglings weren’t fully in control of themselves yet, for even Wooyoung himself had said that on the first night, but Seonghwa had yet to see that side of him. They had interacted little since the first night, mostly because Wooyoung didn’t actually spend a lot of time downstairs to begin with, but he had been sweet every time they had encountered one another. Seonghwa had taken a liking to him; to all of them, really. 

Now, he descended the stairs, pressing a hand to his mouth as he yawned again, intending to head straight for the kitchen to satisfy his hunger. However, when he reached the first floor and turned towards the kitchen, he found that the room was already occupied by the very same vampire he had just been thinking about. 

Hongjoong’s words crossed his mind, his warning to never be alone with Wooyoung, but Seonghwa continued to walk forward anyway. He purposely made a bit of noise to alert Wooyoung to his presence, and the vampire whirled around from where he was sitting at one of the barstools around the kitchen island. 

“Hi,” Seonghwa greeted, keeping his distance just in case as he moved towards the refrigerator, resting his hand on the handle but not opening it yet. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Wooyoung just stared at him for a moment, his lips parted in surprise, as if he had forgotten that a human lived in their house now with a different sleep schedule from the rest. “Oh, um, hi,” he said eventually, and he sounded a bit nervous, which softened Seonghwa’s heart. “Yeah, I should be, but I couldn’t. I’m still having a hard time adjusting in that way, I guess. But I can leave, I’m not supposed to be around you without someone else here.” 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa assured, patting the pocket of his pants where the knife resided. “I know how to protect myself if something ever were to happen, but I don’t think it will. I think you’re more in control of yourself than you think.” 

That drew a small smile out of Wooyoung, and Seonghwa returned it easily before returning his attention to the fridge, pulling open the door to scan the contents. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted, so he just opted for leftovers from a meal he had made the day before, an assortment of meat and vegetables with some rice and kimchi. Removing the cover from the bowl, he placed it in the microwave and started the timer. 

“I miss being able to eat,” Wooyoung admitted, watching the microwave as the seconds hummed away. “I don’t get hungry for human food anymore, but it’s like… in my mind, I miss it. Blood is all that satisfies my hunger, but I don’t like it. I just want to eat.”

Seonghwa paused to consider that, for he could only imagine how hard it would be to adjust to never eating actual food again. Vampires like Hongjoong who had been around for a long time were used to it, but someone like Wooyoung who had lived completely as a human up until two months ago would still be coming to terms with all of the changes accompanying his death and subsequent revival. 

“You’re really brave, you know,” Seonghwa said, leaning his elbows against the kitchen counter. “For persisting, even though so much in your life has changed. It’s inspiring. There’s nothing wrong with the way you feel - I’m sure that every vampire has a hard time at first.”

Nibbling at his bottom lip, Wooyoung looked at the marble countertop, not quite meeting Seonghwa’s gaze. “San says that, too,” he murmured, his voice a bit distant now. “But it’s hard to believe him, sometimes. I don’t feel brave. I feel weak, and sad, and I miss being a human. I miss being alive.”

The microwave beeped, and Seonghwa removed his bowl once more, steam billowing from the food before dispersing into the air. He grabbed a pair of chopsticks and walked around the island to sit on the barstool beside Wooyoung, waiting for his food to cool. “What were your favorite parts of being a human?” Seonghwa asked, watching the boy beside him. “Other than the obvious things. What do you miss?” He hoped that maybe if Wooyoung had the opportunity to talk about it, he would have an easier time making peace with how things had changed since. 

Wooyoung met his eyes again now, his voice small as he answered. “I liked cooking,” he admitted, glancing at Seonghwa’s plate. “I really liked it. I would have gone to culinary school, if it weren’t for other things that happened in my life that needed my attention. But since I became a vampire, I have no reason to continue with that passion anymore. That has been the case for so many things, because all I do now is stay here in this house. I know that I have endless years ahead of me now, but I don’t think my life will ever be as fulfilling as it was before.” 

He shook his head, and he almost sounded like he was trying not to cry. “I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful. I wanted to be turned, and I love this coven. I just feel so many conflicting emotions right now, and it’s sometimes just…” 

His voice trailed off, and Seonghwa finished for him. “Too much?” 

Wooyoung hesitated for a moment before nodding. “And that’s okay,” Seonghwa said, taking his first bite of food and swallowing before he continued. “But I’m sure that we could figure out ways for you to still enjoy those parts of your human life that you miss. Like, if you miss cooking, you could always cook for me. I would love to eat anything you want to make.” 

Immediately, Wooyoung brightened. “Really?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded, chewing another bite. “I - I would love to do that. And I’m really good at cooking, I swear. Anything that you like to eat, I can make for you.” 

“I’m not really very knowledgeable when it comes to food,” Seonghwa said, shrugging. Sitting here with Wooyoung, he saw no reason to keep his walls up, not when this boy was clearly hurting. Maybe the two of them had experienced different kinds of hurt, but the feeling was still the same. “I didn’t have steady access to it for most of my life. Living here is the first time I’ve been able to fall asleep with a full stomach. So I assure you, I will love anything that you make.” 

Wooyoung’s expression softened, and despite how little they knew of each other, Seonghwa had no doubts that he was an empathetic soul above all else. It was present in the way he spoke, his facial reactions, everything. “That’s awful,” he murmured with a slight shake of his head. “No one should have to live like that.” 

“Yeah,” Seonghwa agreed. “But hey, I have plenty of food now! Hongjoong has made sure of that.” He gestured at his plate with his chopsticks, mustering a smile to keep the mood from dropping too low. “I would love to eat any of your cooking, okay?” 

“Okay,” Wooyoung replied with a nod, the gears already turning behind those sparkling eyes. “I’ll make you something for dinner! Well, if I don’t fall asleep before then. I can’t really figure out this whole sleeping during the day thing.” 

“Me neither,” Seonghwa agreed, finishing up the last of his food, feeling pleasantly full. “I’m gonna be here for a while, so I figure it might be better if I can adjust my sleeping too, because I’m kind of lonely during the day. But I don’t know if I can convince my body to change like that.” 

Wooyoung smiled, and the apples of his cheeks puffed the slightest bit, which Seonghwa found to be extremely adorable. “At least we’re awake together now,” he remarked, pushing his bar stool away from the island. “If you’re done, want to go sit by the fire? I can’t feel the cold anymore, but I still like to sit where it’s warm.” 

Grabbing his empty plate in his hands, Seonghwa agreed easily, washing his dishes quickly before joining Wooyoung by the fireplace. He sunk down onto the largest couch this time, the middle one, sighing as the plush cushions enveloped his body. “So, were you originally from Seoul?” Seonghwa asked once they were both settled, curious to hear the answer. 

The firelight turned Wooyoung’s skin to gold, and shadows shifted across his face as he nodded. “Yeah, I’ve always lived here,” he replied, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his sock-clad feet against the cushion beneath him. “My parents were always from here, too. Well, I never knew my dad, but my mom told me that.” 

Seonghwa hummed in understanding. “I never knew either of my parents,” he supplied, mostly so that Wooyoung wouldn’t feel out of place. “I grew up in the city too, though. My first time being in the forest was when I came here, but there’s something about it that I think I like. It’s quiet in a way that the city never was.” 

“It is,” Wooyoung agreed. “I used to like how busy the city was, but something in me changed a few years ago, and I couldn’t bear it any more after that. That’s why I’m here at all, really. I met San, and he kept me afloat when otherwise I don’t think I would have had it in me to keep going.” 

Although he was still sitting right beside Seonghwa, he had clearly traveled somewhere far away, and Seonghwa chose not to pry. Instead, he just sat there in silence alongside Wooyoung, providing him with silent support in case he needed it. After a minute or two, he made the choice to shift over a little bit, resting his hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder. 

At the contact, Wooyoung’s head snapped in direction, and he blinked himself out of his trance. “Sorry,” he breathed, shaking his head. “That was rude. I was just… remembering some things. I didn’t mean to check out like that.”

With a gentle smile, Seonghwa gave a small shake of his head. “No, it’s okay,” he assured, dropping his hand. Wooyoung’s face fell once the contact was gone, however, so Seonghwa shifted even closer, so that the sides of their arms were touching. “I understand the feeling. If it would help you to talk about anything, you can. I’m a good listener.” 

Not that Seonghwa had been confided in many times in his life, but he had always yearned for it. When he was young, he used to sit alone at a long lunch table while others made the choice to cram onto the benches of the other tables instead of sitting with him. He had listened to the conversations near him as his stomach rumbled, imagining that he was a part of them, that he had friends too. 

He had never had the opportunity to be a good listener for someone else, but he had always wanted to be. 

Wooyoung sighed softly, leaning further against Seonghwa, soaking in his warmth just like he had on that first night. “You might regret saying that,” he said, although the humor in his voice fell a bit flat, laden with an undertone of sorrow. “Once I start talking, it’s hard for me to stop.” 

“That’s okay,” Seonghwa replied, nudging Wooyoung in a playful, gentle way. “If it’ll help you to talk about it, I’m more than happy to listen.” 

“You’re really too nice,” Wooyoung said, resting his cheek against his knees as he turned his head to face Seonghwa more directly, one half of his face smushing as a result. “I get why Hongjoong likes you.” 

Seonghwa blushed at that, and Wooyoung giggled. “You can talk to me about anything except Hongjoong,” Seonghwa grumbled, pressing the heel of his palm to his forehead, the mere sound of his name provoking a headache. “He drives me crazy.” 

“Vampires do that,” Wooyoung agreed, and as Seonghwa listened to him speak up close like this, he began to notice the barest hint of a lisp clinging to his words. Probably because of the fangs, since he was still just a fledgling, and Seonghwa’s heart swelled with fondness. Something about that was so endearing to him. “San was like that too, when I first met him. Well, he’s still kind of like that, although nowadays he’s too busy being worried to flirt me to death.”

Intrigued, Seonghwa nudged Wooyoung again as a silent request for him to continue, to which he obliged. “I met him when I was in a really bad place. It was always just my mom and I, but she got sick, and that’s the whole reason why I didn’t pursue culinary school like I mentioned before. I took care of her, but she only had a few years left, and then she passed away. That was about three years ago, now, but I don’t think it’ll ever hurt any less.” His voice cracked on the last word, his features sinking. “I would’ve thought that a heart that doesn’t beat wouldn’t hurt as much, but that isn’t the case.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Seonghwa murmured, and he would have liked to wrap his arm fully around Wooyoung then, but he didn’t know if that would be okay considering the warning Hongjoong had given him at the start. So he stayed where he was, but he hoped his voice conveyed the additional warmth that he would have liked to provide. “If she raised you, then I’m sure she was an amazing woman.” 

Wooyoung smiled at that, huffing a pained laugh. “She was,” he said, eyes shining. “After she died, I visited her at the cemetery every day. That was where I first met San.”

Of all the ways Seonghwa had expected for the story to go, nothing like this had crossed his mind. “What was he doing there?” he asked, finding it a bit strange.

“The cemetery where she was buried is on the edge of this forest,” Wooyoung explained. “He didn’t intend to go there the first time, but he saw me there alone and told me to get home, that it’s dangerous to be so close to a forest after dark. And I knew he was right, but at that point I didn’t really care what happened to me either way.” 

His words were devastating, but Seonghwa also related to the sentiment more than he let on. “I didn’t know he was a vampire at first. I didn’t know until I saw him smile for the first time. But after that first night, I didn’t listen to his warning, and so he started sitting there with me instead. To keep me safe. It annoyed me at first, because I thought that I wanted to be left alone, but in truth that wasn’t really what I wanted. I was just afraid to become attached to someone, because I didn’t want to be left behind again.” 

Wooyoung sniffled, wiping at his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, and Seonghwa was stricken by his every word. Had he not thought the same thing about his current situation with Hongjoong, afraid to grow attached? He had known that he would be able to relate to Wooyoung on the level of their shared connection to humanity, but they had far more in common than he had anticipated, and he felt his own emotions stirring as well. 

“Over time, I fell in love with him. I didn’t mean for it to happen, and we both knew that it’s against the law, but… he was the perfect mixture of sweet and enticing, and he cared about me when no one else did. I had nothing left, but then suddenly I had him. And I couldn’t bear the thought of continuing to age as a human while he stayed young forever, so when he mentioned the idea of turning me, I didn’t think twice. He warned me about how hard it is to be a fledgling, but I didn’t care back then, which I regret now. I wish I had at least prepared myself better. I don’t think I would be taking this quite as hard if I had done that.

“We had to go about it the legal way, otherwise it would’ve all been pointless, but with Hongjoong on the council it only took about two years until I was at the top of the list. So when the time came, San sired me, and here I am now. And I don’t regret a thing, I really mean it. There was nothing left for me as a human. But that still doesn’t change the fact that I miss parts of it. I miss having a heartbeat, and I miss feeling warm. I miss how my face used to burn whenever San talked to me, back then. But I was so dejected as a human that I didn't appreciate it enough until it was all gone. I only came back to life after I died, ironic as it sounds, and now I just miss it.” 

He sighed heavily as he finished, watching Seonghwa through hooded eyes, his cheeks shining in the light of the fire. How interesting that vampires were dead, and yet they could still cry, could still bleed. Where was the line drawn? Seonghwa didn’t have the slightest idea, because Wooyoung seemed pretty damn alive to him. 

“Thank you for telling me all of that,” Seonghwa murmured, for he understood this boy beside him now on a level that he hadn’t before. “I don’t think there is anything shameful in the way that you feel. All of those conflicting emotions - it all makes sense to me, at least. I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough for everyone else around you. It just has to be enough for you, too.” 

The tears in Wooyoung’s eyes reflected the fire, creating a warped image of the flickering flames, illuminating his face even amidst his turmoil. “I’m trying,” he whispered timidly, as if he was afraid of his own words. “But I’m afraid that it won’t get better. I don’t know if I can believe it will, because then it will hurt even worse if it doesn’t.” 

Exhaling a soft breath, Seonghwa nodded. “I get it,” he said, and he moved his hand to squeeze Wooyoung’s arm gently, hoping that the touch would bring him comfort. “Trust me, I do. But you said it to me just now - you’re trying. And you’re going to figure this out. You’ll feel safe in your own skin again, okay? I promise.” 

“How do you know?” Wooyoung asked, and when he blinked a tear escaped the corner of his eye, rolling down to where his cheek rested against his knee. 

“Well, because I’ll help you in any way that I can. If you need to feel the warmth of a human, I’ll be around. And if you want to talk to someone who still remembers what it’s like to be human, you can come to me. Not that you have to, but the offer will always stand for when you need it. All of the other vampires around here clearly care about you a lot, I can see that. You don’t have to handle it all on your own.” 

Wooyoung’s stare was piercing as he clung to the words, his mouth trembling at the corners. “The blood is the worst part,” he said, voice wavering. “It’s disgusting. And it hasn’t gotten better. I don’t know how any of the others can live off of it. San tries to coax me to drink enough, but I always gag and can’t do it until my instincts take over and I go through multiple blood bags at once. That’s why the two of us aren’t supposed to be alone together, because I could hurt you if that happened when I was around you. I would never do it on purpose, but in those moments I’m not in control of myself.”

“You seem in control now,” Seonghwa pointed out. 

“That’s because I just had one of those episodes yesterday, and I drank enough blood to sustain myself after starving for days. So right now, I’m fine. But the reason why I wasn’t really around the last few days was because of that. I stayed upstairs, because I didn’t want to risk hurting you.” 

That explained why Seonghwa hadn’t encountered Wooyoung or San quite as much as the rest, then. “Still, you’re mindful of how you might react, and that means more than you think. I can’t understand what living off of blood feels like, but… give yourself time. Needing more than two months to adjust to an entirely new way of life is okay. Years from now, you’ll be grateful that you fought through it now. Right?” 

Biting his lower lip, Wooyoung nodded. He still didn’t raise his head from where it rested against his knees, and Seonghwa’s heart ached at the sight of him. “Would it help if I touched you?” he asked, keeping his tone kind, unassuming. “I could give you a hug, if you want.” 

Wooyoung lifted his head then, and his expression made it clear just how badly he wanted that. But he shook his head anyway, tears filling the wells bordered by his lower lashes. “I don’t want my face to be that close to your neck,” he explained in a whisper. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“Okay, something else then,” Seonghwa said without pause, offering a smile. “What would make you feel less worried?”

Contemplating this for a moment, Wooyoung’s mouth twisted into a small pout. “Um, maybe you could just… hold my hand again. That made me feel happy last time.” 

“I can do that,” Seonghwa said, and he moved his hand down slowly until their palms were touching, curling his fingers around Wooyoung’s hand. “Is that okay?’ 

Looking somewhat shy now, Wooyoung nodded. “Yeah,” he said, and he looked so small curled up on the couch like this. “Thank you.” 

With his free hand, Seonghwa ruffled Wooyoung’s hair, unable to resist the urge. Wooyoung leaned into that touch as well, and Seonghwa’s heart clenched. “Whenever you feel okay to come down here, I’ll always do this for you. I don’t mind. Being close to someone is good for me, too.” He paused, a blush rising to his cheeks. “Well, I’ve been close to Hongjoong, but that’s different. He’s tormenting me - it’s nice to be close to someone as sweet as you.”

That made Wooyoung smile, the tips of his fangs showing. While Hongjoong’s fangs contributed to his air of dangerous appeal, Wooyoung’s fangs just made him look cute, invoking feelings of fondness. “I’ve never seen Hongjoong like that,” he commented, visibly calmer now that he had their shared touch to ground him. “I haven’t known him for super long, but I used to just think he was… um, old, for one thing. Always kind, but with an air of immortal elegance that was kind of intimidating sometimes. But now whenever I see him, he’s different. You’re good for him, I think.”

Seonghwa wasn’t quite so sure of that, but his heart fluttered just the same. “I don’t know if he’s good for me,” he admitted, although he was mostly joking. “Everything he says makes me blush, and yet he’s never affected by anything that I say, so I’m left reeling while he just stands there with that stupid grin on his face.” Seonghwa’s lips curled into a pout as he spoke, and it drew a giggle out of Wooyoung.

“But he’s gentle too, isn’t he?” Wooyoung pointed out, and Seonghwa nodded, for he couldn’t deny that. “He’s a good man, Seonghwa. They all are. From what you say, it sounds like he likes to tease you, but when he feeds from you he’s completely sincere.”

“That’s the problem,” Seonghwa groaned, flopping back against the couch, letting his head hang back. “I can’t even find it in myself to be annoyed at him, because he treats me so kindly. He teases me while fixing my coat, or says something shameless while brushing the hair out of my face. And when he feeds from me, he’s so gentle that it sometimes makes me want to cry.” He sucked in a long, shuddering breath. “He takes care of me. No one has ever done that for me before.”

Wooyoung’s smile softened now, and he squeezed Seonghwa’s hand. “I don’t think it’s a problem,” he said, thoughtful. “I think that maybe this is exactly what you needed. I like to believe that life has a way of doing that; of bringing us what we need when we need it most. And I don’t believe for a second that your words don’t have any effect on him. I think he’s smitten with you.”

Biting back a smile, Seonghwa shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe,” he said, although in truth, Wooyoung’s words made a lot of sense. “Hey, do you want to see something I’ve been making?”

“What is it?” Wooyoung asked, perking up further.

“A pink bunny, I’m learning how to crochet it myself. I’ve messed up a lot, but this is my seventh attempt now, and I think it looks pretty good.” He smiled, and Wooyoung returned it, and suddenly the world didn’t seem so bad.

~

After another few days, Seonghwa found himself rolling out of bed after only a few hours of sleep, the night sky still visible through his window. From downstairs, he could hear voices traveling through the wooden floor, and he tried to listen but couldn’t make out any of the actual words. Resigning himself to leaving his room well before the sunrise, he quickly got dressed before opening the door and slipping out into the hallway. 

When he reached the first floor, his attention was drawn immediately to the group of vampires all sitting in the living room, talking and laughing with each other. They hadn’t noticed him yet, and Seonghwa kept his distance at first, just watching them interact. He hadn’t seen them all together since the first day, but almost all of them were here now, other than Wooyoung and San. 

They all wore easy smiles, sitting together casually, arms draped over shoulders and sides pressed together. Seeing them like this, he was able to understand that they were more than just a coven brought together by their shared bloodline - they were a family, each with their own special bond to each of the others. Seonghwa could have stood there all day, just watching them. It was fascinating to him, for he had never known that kind of love before. 

Mingi said something funny, and they all started to laugh, Yunho jumping in to respond straight away. As he laughed, Hongjoong tipped his head back just far enough to notice Seonghwa’s presence, and for a moment their eyes locked. Seonghwa froze as Hongjoong whirled around, no longer laughing. The others noticed him as well then, and then he was being stared at by all five of them, fighting the urge to squirm in place. 

“What are you doing over there?” Jongho asked, patting the section of couch beside him. “Come join us, it’s okay. You’re always welcome.” He said the words so easily, and all of the others nodded in agreement. 

Hesitating for a moment, Seonghwa then shuffled his way over, sitting beside Jongho. On the long middle couch, Yunho and Mingi sat beside Jongho, leaving Hongjoong and Yeosang sitting on the couch to the left. Although they were sitting on different couches, Hongjoong was still just an arm’s length away, and he reached over to briefly rest his hand on Seonghwa’s knee. “Good morning,” he said, eyes bright. “It is a pleasure to see you this early.” 

Already blushing, Seonghwa was only able to take a breath once Hongjoong’s hand retreated, his heart in his throat. “Yeah, I woke up early today,” he said with a small shrug. “I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation, though. Don’t feel like you have to talk about something else now that I’m here.” 

Yunho stood from the couch, wearing a set of scrubs and a lab coat again, the fire dancing in the reflection against his glasses. “No it’s good that you interrupted us, actually,” he said, brushing the wrinkles out of his clothes. “I’m gonna be late, at this rate. I’ll be back later. I wish I didn’t have to go, because I would’ve liked to talk with you, Seonghwa.” 

“Um, any other time is fine,” he answered, and Yunho seemed pleased with that answer. Everyone bid him goodbye, and then he left the living room, the front door opening and closing a moment later. That left four vampires around Seonghwa, and they didn’t show any intention of leaving, each of them turning back to look at him once more. 

The attention made Seonghwa want to sink all the way into the cushions, but he tried to keep his expression neutral, embarrassed at his own lack of social skills. He wasn’t used to interacting with one person, let alone four at once. “So, I’ve been meaning to ask,” Mingi started, and Seonghwa looked over at him as he spoke. “How much do you know about vampires, anyway?” 

His question reminded Seonghwa of his conversation with Hongjoong out on the porch that day, and he shook his head. “I don’t know a lot,” he admitted, finding it easier to just be honest. “I didn’t even know what it actually means to be an immortalist until Hongjoong showed me.”

“Hey, well that’s okay!” Mingi assured, and he appeared rather excited now. “That just means we get to tell you about all of it. What else do you want to know?” 

The others nodded as well, and Seonghwa parted his lips before closing his mouth again, trying to think of something. If they actually wanted to talk with him about this, then he would take advantage of that. “Um, what are the other types of vampires, then?” he asked, for that was something he had been wondering about for a while. “I know about immortalists, and I’ve also heard about the speed and strength enhanced ones, but aren’t there eight kinds?” 

Seonghwa’s knowledge on this entire topic was extremely limited, but he had always suspected that the actual lack of confirmed information related to vampirism was purposeful, not only on behalf of the vampires themselves. Any faith that he should have possessed in the humans in positions of power had left him ages ago, after their system had failed him time and time again, and he wouldn’t be surprised if those people of importance withheld information on purpose. 

All they had ever really wanted was to exert control over as much of the world as possible. By keeping humans in the dark, fear ran rampant, and they maintained their hold on the city. The regulations kept vampires in check as well, leading to society as it stood now. 

“Speed enhanced vampires are called fleeters, yes,” Jongho confirmed, taking over. “And ironbloods are strength enhanced. There are no Fleeter or Ironblood Covens in Seoul, though. Only four covens occupy this city, all from different clans, native to the patches of forest just like this one. Us, the immortalists, of course but three others as well. Hypnotists, sunwalkers, and mindreaders. All with abilities that are attributed to their overarching clan, the bloodline that runs through each vampire within it. Our coven is by far the smallest - the others have upwards of one hundred members.” 

Seonghwa struggled to make sense of all of this, taking a moment to organize it within his brain. From what he could tell, covens were the individual groupings of vampires within a distinct area, but they had to originate from the same bloodline. He didn’t necessarily understand how that worked, but he assumed it had something to do with how vampires were turned, the blood from the sire influencing the blood of the fledgling in some way. 

“What are their abilities?” he asked eventually, curious. “It sounds kind of self explanatory, but…”

“It is,” Hongjoong agreed, but he explained anyway. “Sunwalkers can walk in the sun. They aren’t bound by the rules that the rest of us are; they don’t burn up in the sun like we do. Hypnotists have the gift of persuasion, and they can coerce anyone into doing their bidding. Their clan is the most heavily regulated though - they can only use their gift in certain ways without punishment. And mindreaders can’t necessarily read a mind completely; they read memories. They can see into a person’s past, but they can’t read their present thoughts.” 

Seonghwa listened attentively, absorbing all of that information and filing it away in his mind, a clearer picture of vampires now being painted within it. “So every bloodline has its own gift,” he said, and he received a round of nods in return. “How did that come about? How are these things possible?” 

“There are a lot of possibilities when you’re dead,” Yeosang answered, his voice timid. “But most people believe that vampirism started from an instance of necromancy gone wrong, but none of the founders are alive to confirm or deny. They were executed a long time ago, but they had already passed on their newfound power.”

That sounded like a long, complicated story, and Seonghwa didn’t know if he could handle all of that information at the moment. Instead, he asked the one thing that was now nagging at his mind, a frown twisting his mouth. “So… there are really vampires who can walk in the sun? I always thought that if I avoided staying out after dark, I wouldn’t ever encounter a vampire.” 

“That is the way the myths go, but yes. There are vampires who can walk in the sun. One of the few positive sides to the peace negotiations between humans and vampires was our right to keep our secrets close. Since human lifespans are so short, any concrete knowledge has been warped into fable by now, leaving questions of what is true and what is not,” explained Hongjoong, and from the way he spoke, Seonghwa knew that he was speaking from memory and not just from his knowledge of history. 

He had actually been alive during those times. He had witnessed the way that vampire and human relations had changed, had experienced the shift from a lawless land to a heavily regulated one. Seonghwa couldn’t help but wonder what it had been like back then. Vampires had existed unchecked, so it was no leap to assume that humans had lived in constant fear as a result. 

“And… you were a part of those negotiations?” he asked, looking at Hongjoong, their eyes meeting. Hongjoong looked dangerously handsome tonight, dressed in all black. His skin was so pale that his eyes almost always appeared to be ringed with reddish-purple color, almost like permanent twin bruises. 

He nodded, the firelight highlighting the sharp line of his jaw, casting a shadow along the hollow of his throat. “Yes,” he said, the end of the word slightly drawn out, characteristic of that accent of his. “Many years ago. Each regional council was founded at that time, and I have upheld my place on ours ever since. You are lucky to be my feeder, I can tell you anything that you wish to know.” He winked, and Seonghwa had to look away. 

“Isn’t most of that supposed to be confidential?” he pointed out, glancing back at Hongjoong just in time to watch him roll his eyes, leaning back and draping an arm over the side of the couch.

“What the humans do not know cannot hurt them,” he replied, not sounding terribly concerned about breaking the law. “I would never pass on important information to people I do not trust. But I will tell you all that you wish to know.” 

Seonghwa gave up on trying to understand him, and instead he considered that, an immediate question coming to mind. “Do you only handle occurrences that involve vampires? Or do you handle humans at times as well?” After all, he had never heard of a human being brought before the vampire council for trial, but he wouldn’t put it past the government to hide that from the public. The more he learned from these vampires, the more he understood how little humans actually knew. 

Humans weren’t bound by such a tight set of regulations like vampires, but they were still bound by fear, blind to their own ignorance and left to speculate over important information. And vampires, while regulated heavily, knew everything. Two worlds side by side, both with their own set of trade-offs. 

But now, Seonghwa felt as if he were walking between worlds, privy to the information he had been denied before while still escaping the laws that restricted vampires. He wasn’t supposed to know any of this, he was sure of that, but he was curious and Hongjoong was willing. How could he pass up an opportunity to gain more knowledge, especially when he of all people owed nothing to humanity?

“It depends on the situation,” Hongjoong answered, and he lost the air of humor to his tone now, his features settling into a more serious expression. “If only humans are involved, then most of the time, the vampire council plays no role. But there have been times where the governing humans will consult the council despite that, if a case still concerns vampires in some way.” 

Reading the confusion on Seonghwa’s face, he elaborated further. “Several decades ago, a serial killer evaded human attempts at capture for months. He was a human as well, but he staged his murders to frame vampires as the guilty ones. In that case, the council was heavily involved, even after the killer was determined to be human. Same with the vampire-obsessed scientist who went mad, and the woman who tried to turn her unborn child into a vampire while she was pregnant. When it involves vampires in some way, the council plays a part as well.”

“Oh,” Seonghwa breathed, thoroughly disturbed. “How do you, um, handle that kind of thing? I don’t think I could bear having to be involved in something so awful.” 

“I would rather it be me than someone else,” Hongjoong answered simply. “And remember that I have been alive for a long time. It is not so easy to disturb me, now. It does happen, but not often. Perhaps once per decade, if that. But what I will say is that the cases I’ve handled that involve humans are the most disturbing. Vampires are not as evil as many humans are.” 

Seonghwa moved his hand to touch his neck, recalling his own scars, and Hongjoong’s face softened. “That is not to say that vampires cannot be evil as well,” he added, reaching over to touch Seonghwa’s arm, a silent show of support. “I have known plenty that are.” 

Something occurred to Seonghwa then, and he sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you remember prosecuting a vampire who fed from young children? It would have been about twenty-four years ago. You - you probably handled that case.” 

For a moment, Hongjoong said nothing, searching Seonghwa’s face as the muscles in his jaw shifted beneath the cover of his skin. “I…” His voice trailed off, and he let out a sigh. “I did not want to say this unless you asked, but I have handled many cases like that. I do not remember yours specifically. I am sorry.”

Biting his lip hard, Seonghwa tried to ignore the pain that had started to accumulate in his chest. “How many?” he whispered, afraid of the answer. “How often does the same thing that happened to me happen to other children? Other babies?”

“Seonghwa…” Hongjoong said, reaching for his hand, but Seonghwa withdrew it before their skin could touch. His fingers were trembling, and he curled them into fists to hide it. “At least once a year, usually,” he finally admitted, and the words hit Seonghwa like a blow to the chest. “It leads to executions, which allows new vampires to be turned. There’s a consistent turnover because of people like that, who do terrible things. I’m sorry if that wasn’t the answer you were looking for.” 

“Obviously it wasn’t,” Seonghwa answered, his voice cracking over the words, diminishing their intensity. “That shouldn’t be allowed to happen. My life was ruined before it ever even started, all because of a vampire who couldn’t resist - couldn’t resist what? The taste of blood yet to be tainted by the world? It’s evil. That’s fucking evil.” 

His eyes burned, and he held both hands to his neck, suddenly embarrassed about his own reaction. But he was shaking and he couldn’t stop, and when Hongjoong reached for him again, he jolted straight to his feet. “I’m going upstairs,” he said, and his voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away. “I’m - I’m sorry.” 

He darted from the living room, the first tears blinking free as he rushed up the stairs, hating himself for reacting like that. Aside from Hongjoong, he had barely interacted with the other vampires at all since he moved into their house, and here he was making a terrible impression.

As he stopped in front of his door to push it open, he heard footsteps behind him, and he whirled around with his stomach twisted into a tight knot. He intended to tell Hongjoong to leave, the words already sitting on the tip of his tongue, but they died there when he realized that Hongjoong wasn’t the one who had followed him. 

Yeosang was standing there, his hands clasped awkwardly in front of his waist, his eyes gentle as he stared at Seonghwa. He left a bit of distance between them, and his presence wasn’t hulking, unlike some of the others. “I’m not going to force you to talk to me or anything, don’t worry,” he said, offering a smile.

Seonghwa didn’t return it, but he didn’t open his door yet either, waiting to hear what else Yeosang had to say. “I just want to tell you that most of us went through terrible things when we were still human, too. And I’m not saying that to diminish or take away from your pain in any way; I just want you to know that we understand. Life hasn’t been fair to you. It’s okay to be upset about that.” 

The sentiment was simple, but it was one that Seonghwa needed to hear, and he softened a bit as a result. “Thank you,” he murmured, swallowing around the lump building in his throat. “I… I appreciate you telling me that. I didn’t mean to leave so abruptly, and to make the conversation take such a turn, but I feel like this world gets crueler every time I blink. Or, at least, I learn more about how cruel it has always been, right under my nose.” 

“I know,” Yeosang said, completely sincere. “It shouldn’t be this way, but this world has always been fucked up. Especially to people like you, who never even had a chance.” 

“Yeah,” Seonghwa agreed, shoulders slumping as he sighed. “But… thank you. For understanding.” 

He twisted the doorknob and pushed open his door, looking back at Yeosang as his lips curved into a small smile. “We all do,” he said again, his eyes holding so much depth that Seonghwa couldn’t fully decipher. “But it’s okay to need time alone, too. No one will deprive you of that.” He raised his hand in a small wave. “See you later?” 

Seonghwa smiled too then, and he nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, touched. “I’ll see you later.” 

He entered his room then, closing the door gently and sitting down on his bed, dropping his head into his hands. He sat there in silence for minutes that turned into hours, his head spinning as he considered all of the children who had been hurt so young like himself, who had never had a chance at life. It was so unfair that it made him want to scream, but he couldn’t find the strength to do that. 

So instead, he just cried. He cried until he had no tears left, and then he lay there on his bed and stared up at the ceiling, grateful to these vampires for taking him in. Otherwise, he would still be sleeping in his car as the chill of autumn set in, freezing as he curled up in his back seat in an attempt to conserve his warmth. 

The world was cruel, but for the first time in his life, he had found people who were kind. And the more time he spent with them, the stronger his attachments grew. Now, when he thought about them, his heart warmed and his anxiety calmed, and he was starting to understand why humans were supposed to be social creatures. 

After living so long without being touched, he now yearned for soft touches and gentle hands. His initial reaction to any question posed his way was surprise, because he wasn’t used to anyone caring about what he had to say. All of these experiences were new to him, but in a positive way, contrasting so extremely with all of the years of his life that had come before. 

He didn’t know how long he would be able to hold into this new life, but he would make every effort to cherish these connections while they lasted. Because even when the pain struck now, the blow was cushioned by the newfound care that surrounded his heart, a product of the vampires whom he now lived alongside. 

The world was cruel, and vindictive, and wrought with pain, but they weren’t. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #15: Vampires may browse all human feeder applicants for their desired choice; however, if multiple vampires are interested in the same feeder, the human will go to the highest bidder upon the signing of a contract. All proceeds will be delegated to blood banks. 

~

After another few weeks, Seonghwa’s sleep schedule had aligned more closely with that of the vampires, allowing him to spend more time with them during the night while they were all awake. He began to feel more comfortable around them, and the coven house became more of a home to him as opposed to just a shelter. 

Slowly, Wooyoung started to spend more time downstairs rather than staying holed up in his room on the third floor all the time, and Seonghwa witnessed firsthand how difficult it was for him to drink from the blood bags that San gave him. Even while his sire coaxed him through it, he was very clearly miserable, but he tried his best because he wanted to make the coven house a safer place for Seonghwa.

However, during the nights in which he drank enough blood to sustain himself, he was really a delight to be around. Everyone was fond of him, that much was obvious, and his soul was incredibly cheerful beneath all of his struggles to adjust to his new lifestyle as a vampire. Seonghwa liked spending time with him, and Wooyoung slowly became more and more comfortable seeking out his touch when he needed a reminder of what the warmth of a human felt like. 

Other than Wooyoung, however, Seonghwa had also grown closer to the rest of the vampires in the coven. He spent time with each of them in various groupings, and although he started out mostly just listening to their conversations, he began to feel comfortable enough to contribute as well as the weeks passed by. 

They had all been kind from the beginning, but as Seonghwa spent more time with them he came to trust their kindness, to understand that it wasn’t an act and it never would be. Just because they were vampires didn’t make them bad people, and in truth, they treated him far better than any human ever had. That alone was enough to warrant his loyalty, and he was able to admit to himself that he was actually happy, more so than he ever had been before. 

The first one to wake up as soon as the sun went down was always Yunho, and Seonghwa waited for him down by the fireplace if he was awake at that time, although he had taken to sleeping in odd intervals. Sometimes he napped for half the day in order to be awake with the vampires, and sometimes he just pushed the limits of his body, crashing halfway through the night when he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. 

He always made sure to be awake long enough for Hongjoong to feed from him, for he took his duty as a feeder quite seriously considering all that Hongjoong had done for him. The least he could do was repay him with blood, and Hongjoong was never anything but gentle, so the feedings were never a negative experience. 

One evening right after sunrise, Seonghwa sat sprawled on the long middle couch in front of the fireplace, his pink crocheted bunny tucked under one arm. He had just taken a short nap, but now he sat up and blinked a few times, running his hands through his hair to tame it. Footsteps sounded from above his head, and he knew they belonged to Yunho. 

Yawning, he leaned back against the cushions and waited for company, enjoying the warmth of the fire. Although the vampires didn’t require warmth, they were always asking him if he was warm, if he needed the temperature in the room adjusted, catering to his comfort at all times. Anything was better than relying on the heating system in his car, but he appreciated their consistent attentiveness just the same. 

He didn’t have to wait long before Yunho’s familiar footsteps came down the stairs, padding across the room to join Seonghwa on the couch. Seonghwa turned his head to watch him approach, taking note of his usual work clothes; his scrubs and the lab coat with his name embroidered over the left chest pocket. “Good morning,” Seonghwa said with a smile, although night had just fallen. 

Yunho smiled, dropping down onto the couch with a sigh, raising his arms to rest his hands behind his head. “Hey, how’d you sleep?” he asked, looking over at Seonghwa. “Have you been up for a while?” 

“Not too long,” he answered with a shrug. “I just woke up from a nap. So I should make it at least a few hours before I need to go to bed for the night.” Yunho’s smile grew at that, and Seonghwa’s heart warmed. “When do you have to leave?” 

“I have about thirty minutes.” Yunho pulled up his left sleeve to look at his watch, checking the time. “So, I was wondering if I could ask you a few things. You know, my usual questions.” 

This had become a routine thing between the two of them, as Yunho had been a vampire for a very long time, and his memories of his time as a human were entirely blurred by now. He found humans to be fascinating, and he asked Seonghwa about all kinds of things that were seemingly basic to any other human, but intriguing to this one vampire. 

Seonghwa nodded, for he actually enjoyed spending time with Yunho in this way. He liked to feel like he served a purpose, like he was the one person who could satisfy Yunho’s curiosity when it came to this particular topic. 

“What do humans do at the gym?” Yunho asked this time, and Seonghwa bit his lip to withhold an amused grin. He found Yunho’s innocent excitement over such basic things to be kind of adorable, and he always tried to give the best answer that he could come up with. 

He had never been inside of a gym, of course, but he still knew what they were for. “Well, gyms are a place that humans go to exercise,” he explained, recalling all of the people he had seen exiting the gyms in the city dressed in workout clothes, drenched in sweat. “There are machines inside, and treadmills, and weights and stuff. That’s how a lot of humans build their muscles.” 

Seonghwa looked down at himself as he said that last part, taking note of his own scrawny arms, lacking any muscle whatsoever. The bones of his elbows were visible beneath the thin layer of skin that laid over them, and the rest of his body wasn’t much better. Even after having steady access to food for a few weeks, his hip bones still jutted out noticeably, his cheekbones sharp and pronounced. 

“Treadmills,” Yunho repeated, as if the word was foreign to him. Which it was, evidenced by his following question. “What are those?” 

“A treadmill is a machine that people use to run,” Seonghwa explained, and Yunho hung onto his every word. “Like, you know how people sometimes run around the city to exercise? Or they run in races, and stuff like that? A treadmill allows people to run inside as well. There’s a belt that moves at the speed they choose, and they can change the incline too to replicate hills… have you really never seen one?” 

Yunho shook his head, eyes sparkling with interest. “That’s fascinating,” he said, smiling as he leaned back further against the couch, looking up at the ceiling. “Humans are so innovative. Nothing like that ever existed when I was a human.” 

Fiddling with his fingers, Seonghwa asked the question that had been nagging at his mind for a long time, for he didn’t want to overstep in order to sate his curiosity. But if Yunho could ask him all of these questions, then couldn’t he ask one of his own? “How long ago was that?” he asked tentatively. “When you were a human, I mean. How long have you been alive?” 

“Has Hongjoong not told you that already?” Yunho asked, brows rising in surprise, and Seonghwa blushed as he shook his head. He was sure that Hongjoong would have told him if he had asked, but he had never worked up the courage to do so. Not because he was afraid of the answer, but… something about Hongjoong made him nervous, and he didn’t feel that way around the others. 

“Well, I don’t mind telling you,” Yunho continued, and Seonghwa let free a quiet sigh of relief. “I’ve been alive for centuries, now. It’s 2024 now, and I was born in 1618, so… yeah. I’m old. Hongjoong is the only one in our coven who is older than me. But you have to admit it, I’m way cooler than him. He still speaks like he did when I met him. At least I’m modernized - he needs to get in the times.” 

Stifling a giggle, Seonghwa pressed a hand to his mouth. “I think you mean ‘get with the times,’” he corrected gently, and Yunho made a sound of understanding.

“Yes, that’s right. The slang still confuses me, sometimes.” Seonghwa wasn’t quite sure how to tell him that the phrase ‘get with the  times’ wasn’t exactly current slang, so he let it slide instead, figuring that the entire coven was better off if Yunho didn’t start learning actual modern slang. 

The two of them talked for a bit longer, until Yunho had to leave. After that, Seonghwa was left alone in the living room once more, although he knew the others would be joining him soon. He made himself a quick snack in the kitchen, and just as he finished he heard another set of familiar footsteps come down the stairs, his breath lodging in his throat as he cleaned his plate in the sink. 

He didn’t turn around, even though he knew that Hongjoong was behind him, for his presence filled up the entire room. That didn’t stop Hongjoong, however, and he came right up behind Seonghwa to look over his shoulder and down at the sink. “Good morning,” he said, and even though Seonghwa wasn’t looking at his face, he could still hear the smile in his voice. 

Pressing his lips together, Seonghwa finished cleaning the plate and grabbed a dish towel to dry it off next, Hongjoong hovering behind him all the while. “Good morning,” he replied, his skin burning even though they weren’t touching. “Sleep okay?” 

A cold hand wrapped gently around his wrist, and Seonghwa allowed himself to be turned around, holding the plate to his chest. “Yeah,” Hongjoong answered, and he looked handsome even when he had clearly just rolled out of bed, his hair unruly and a black silk robe secured at his waist. “I slept very well. I dreamt about you.” 

Seonghwa gripped the plate tighter, for fear that he would drop it entirely. “Oh?” he asked, the sound vaguely choked, and one side of Hongjoong’s mouth lifted into a slight smirk. 

“Yes,” he said, although he didn’t elaborate any further. Instead, he took the plate from Seonghwa’s hands, reaching past him to place it in one of the overhead cabinets. As he did so, Seonghwa couldn’t avoid the smell of rain that briefly washed over him, familiar now in a way that made his stomach swirl. 

His relationship with Hongjoong was… interesting. That was the only way he could think to describe it without causing his face to burn, for everything about their dynamic had been different from the rest since the beginning. Even as the days turned into weeks, Hongjoong remained the same, and Seonghwa hadn’t developed any new ability to handle the vampire who stood before him now. 

The black robe tied around his body provided a stark contrast to the pallor of his skin, and as he lowered his arm again, the silky material slid from his shoulder to expose the lean muscle beneath. Seonghwa’s gaze flitted to the area for a moment, and when he looked back at Hongjoong’s face, the smirk had grown. 

“I have to attend to my duties within the council today,” Hongjoong said, and he finally took a step back then. Seonghwa released a breath, blinking hard. “But my hope is that I will be back after a few hours. Will you still be awake?” 

Catching his lip between his teeth for a moment before letting it go, Seonghwa shrugged. “Um, I don’t know,” he replied, although he made a mental note to stay awake. Not that he would tell Hongjoong that - he had to play hard to get somehow, after all. And as it turned out, the only leverage he could hold over Hongjoong was himself. Nothing else ever seemed to affect him. “I was thinking of going into the city, but I know you don’t want me going alone, so I was going to ask you to come with me. But if you’re busy, then…” 

Hongjoong’s smirk fell away immediately, and Seonghwa had to hide his satisfaction. He hadn’t actually been thinking of going into the city until about ten seconds ago, but he had to do what he could to hold the upper hand, even if it only lasted for a fleeting moment. “Tonight?” he asked, and he actually sounded disappointed. “Does it have to be tonight?”

“I’m afraid so,” Seonghwa said, leaning his elbow against the counter. “I have to pick something up that I purchased online.” Which was a total lie - as far as he knew, hardly any stores would even be open at this time of night.

“I cannot avoid my council duties to join you,” Hongjoong said, all of his former sultriness entirely gone, his eyes wide with disappointment. “Not this time. But please know… I would like to go with you, if I could.” 

He looked genuinely upset about this turn of events, and Seonghwa’s heart softened as he reached out to take Hongjoong’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Maybe we could go another time,” he proposed, if only to see Hongjoong’s eyes light up again. “We have plenty of time, after all.” 

“Another time,” Hongjoong repeated, and his smile was back now, wide enough for the tips of his fangs to show. “Yes. Please.” Seonghwa returned the smile easily, and for a moment neither of them said a word, until Hongjoong opened his mouth once more. “Perhaps I can ask some of the others to accompany you into the city.” 

Seonghwa couldn’t say no, because he had already lied about needing to go, so instead he just nodded. “Um… okay,” he agreed, although a large part of him wished to just stay at home. But he hadn’t been out into the urban part of the city in a while, so he supposed it wouldn’t be so bad to go, especially with a group of vampires to join him. 

He wouldn’t need to worry about anyone hurting him with them by his side. 

~

“Woah, these buildings seem so much bigger than they did the last time I was here!” Mingi exclaimed as he exited the car, his neck craned upwards as he looked at his surroundings in wonder. Seonghwa joined him on the sidewalk, and Jongho and Yeosang did the same a moment later, Jongho pressing the button on his keys to lock the car. 

The vampires owned a few cars of their own, each of them sleek and black, and Jongho had been more than willing to drive the group of them into the city. Seonghwa hadn’t expected the vampires to be so eager to accompany him, but they had seemed thrilled at the idea of strolling through the city at night, so here the four of them were now. 

“Where do you need to go?” Jongho asked, looking at Seonghwa as he tucked the keys into the front pocket of his pants. He wore regular black jeans, a fairly modern outfit, and Yeosang was dressed similarly as well. However, Mingi on the other hand was dressed in some kind of cape that looked like it had been made a century ago, and the boots on his feet were reminiscent of a style Soenghwa had only ever seen before in the pictures in the old history textbook he had used in school. 

In short, they made an interesting group, but Seonghwa didn’t even mind the lingering stares of the people who passed them by. He was a part of something now, he existed within a group, and he didn’t care about the perceptions of the rest of the world. 

Shuffling his feet slightly, Seonghwa winced. “Um… so, I don’t actually need to go anywhere,” he admitted, for now that Hongjoong wasn’t around he had no reason to pretend. “Hongjoong was just, well, driving me a bit crazy, so I said I had to go into the city because I knew it would knock him down a peg. But there isn’t any real reason for us coming here so, um, I’m sorry about that.” 

The three of them stared at him for a second, processing his words before they burst into laughter right there on the sidewalk, the sounds of their joy echoing through the space between buildings. “Oh my god,” Yeosang said, muffling his laughter into his palm. While the others were loud with their amusement, he was more contained, but his eyes betrayed the extent of his glee. “Good for you.” 

Seonghwa grinned at that, relieved that they understood his reasoning, and when Mingi spoke he sounded as if he were struggling to breathe. “He deserves that,” he gasped, giggles slipping through the gaps between his words. “He needs to be humbled.” 

That made Seonghwa erupt into laughter as well, and the four of them couldn’t compose themselves for another several minutes, as every time they looked at each other they dissolved into their amusement all over again. Seonghwa’s heart was full of joy, and he hoped that he would remember this moment forever, because he really did feel like he was a part of something. He had never felt like that before. 

Once they managed to regain a hold of themselves, they started to stroll through the streets, wandering aimlessly now that they had no real destination. Seonghwa liked it better like this, anyway; the vampires were all curious about different parts of the city that they weren’t familiar with and Seonghwa was able to supply all of the information they asked for after living here all his life. 

“You know so much,” Mingi marveled at one point, and Seonghwa blushed, hands in his pockets as he kicked absently at a small pebble in his path. “We don’t really come into the city a lot, and even when we do, we always stay away from humans. We don’t want to scare anyone. But because of that, we really don’t know much about the human side of things anymore.” 

Jongho hummed in agreement, and when Seonghwa’s pebble came into his path, he kicked it instead of letting it be left behind. A simple action, but for some reason it touched Seonghwa’s heart. “Even the youngest of us - well, aside from Wooyoung - are still almost a century old. A lot can change in that time, and especially with technology, everything is so different now.” 

“You know how to work the computer at the house, at least,” Seonghwa pointed out, which drew a groan out of Mingi and a subsequent giggle out of Yeosang. 

“Don’t talk to me about that computer,” Mingi grumbled. “I still don’t understand it.” 

Shifting over to walk alongside Seonghwa, Yeosang linked their arms together, and Seonghwa nearly stopped in his tracks. Some of the others had been very affectionate from the beginning, but Yeosang had never been one of them. He was considerably more reserved, and he had never initiated contact like this. 

When Seonghwa looked at him, he offered a soft smile, and Seonghwa returned it immediately. “Mingi is the reason why we’ve had to go through multiple computers,” Yeosang informed, seeming to enjoy Mingi’s squirming. “Each one has wound up with a virus that we can’t get rid of, always because of him.” 

“What the hell is a computer virus anyway?” Mingi blurted, shaking his head in exasperation. “Computers can’t get sick, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” Seonghwa and Yeosang shared a look after that, before they both started to laugh all over again. 

Mingi continued to whine about this for the next several minutes as they crossed the street and continued to wind their way through the city, until the smell of food wafted towards them on the breeze. “That smells good - are you hungry?” Yeosang asked, and just as Seonghwa was about to say no, his stomach rumbled and shattered any illusions. 

“Let’s go,” Jongho said, and Seonghwa was powerless to resist as he was dragged in the direction of the smell. “I wonder where it’s coming from.” 

Holding a hand to his stomach, Seonghwa blushed. “Um, I think there’s a night market nearby. I’ve never eaten there, but I’ve seen it before. A lot of vendors, that kind of thing. A lot of people too, though.” 

He wasn’t sure how all of the humans at the market would respond to the presence of three vampires, but if they kept their mouths shut to hide their fangs, then he supposed that it would be okay. And if it didn’t go as planned, then they would just leave. Comforted by that thought, Seonghwa’s apprehension dulled, the smell of the food driving him forwards until the market finally came into view. 

As he had expected, vendors lined the streets on either side, the roads blocked off around the area. All different kinds of food were visible, for each vendor specialized in something different, and he wasn’t quite sure where to look as he took note of the crowds of people, the containers of various types of food and drink. 

The vampires scanned over the area in wonder as well, and Seonghwa turned to face them, smiling when he noticed their expressions. “We won’t linger here long, but we can find something for me to eat, if you want to see more of the market.” They all nodded, and when Seonghwa moved forward they followed after him, allowing him to lead the way. 

He noticed all kinds of different foods, and although they all looked wonderful, he was craving meat. Now that he actually had access to a regular stream of food, he ate meat at every meal, and he still couldn’t get enough of it, his body desperate to replenish all of the nutrients he had missed out on for most of his life. He let his sense of smell guide him forward, and he stopped at the first vendor he noticed selling meat. 

With the vampires watching in interest, he bought a paper container of food from the vendor, still steaming as he took his first bite to satisfy his hunger. He was always hungry, even though he had eaten dinner not too long ago, and he cleared out the container as he searched for his next stop. “What about this one?” Jongho said, pointing out one of the vendors, and Seonghwa went over and bought something from her, too. 

He was enjoying himself immensely, munching away as they weaved their way through the crowd and out the other side, finishing the last of his food before disposing of the paper containers. Just as he turned to thank his friends for indulging him, he noticed two figures looming behind Mingi, and he froze in place.

 “Um, guys-” he started to say, but he stopped when he noticed the sharp fangs glinting in the mouths of the shadowed figures as they came closer, his words catching in his throat. His friends noticed his reaction and turned around just as the two vampires behind them stepped forward, both of them fixated on Seonghwa, not even looking at the others. 

“It comes as a surprise that the three of you would dare to bring him here,” one of them said, his voice holding an accent similar to the one belonging to Hongjoong. His hair was inky black, and he was taller than the other vampire, who was considerably older. The second vampire had grey hair at his temples, evidence that he had been turned at a far older age than most. Both of them weren’t nearly as pale as Hongjoong and the others, however; their skin was golden. “Not a smart choice.” 

Seonghwa backed up a step, their words making no sense to him, and he felt the presence of his friends at his side as they all moved back to stand around him, Mingi blocking Seonghwa’s body completely with his own. “Leave us alone,” he hissed, and he sounded nothing like the Mingi that Seonghwa had come to know. His voice was cold as steel, his shoulders squared as he drew up to his full height, taller than the two vampires he faced down. 

Reaching down into his pocket, Seonghwa grasped the hard surface of the retractable knife Hongjoong had given him. He didn’t want to use it, but he wouldn’t hesitate if these vampires left him with no other choice. 

The older vampire laughed, but the sound didn’t carry a trace of humor, his eyes hard as he continued to stare at Seonghwa. “We will do nothing to you,” he sneered. “Not here.” Seonghwa couldn’t move a muscle, chills erupting all over his skin under that gaze, his fingers beginning to tremble. 

“Not anywhere,” Jongho cut in, stepping forward as well, passing Mingi and pushing one of the vampires back, laying both hands against his chest. “Get the hell away from us. He isn’t yours.” 

“Regretfully,” said the taller vampire, licking over his fangs. “If he weren’t Hongjoong’s new toy, I would have a grand time with him. However, contracts do not last forever.” His lips curled into a wicked grin, and Seonghwa took another stumbling step back, his heart hammering against his ribs. “You won’t always be protected.” 

Yeosang wrapped an arm around him to prevent him from losing his balance, and Seonghwa drew comfort from the contact, still unable to look away from the two vampires. “It was quite the battle to bid for you,” the older vampire added, the sound of his voice grating down Seonghwa’s spine. “Or did he not inform you of that?” 

“Enough,” Mingi growled, shoving them both back, his voice booming. Their altercation was drawing stares now, and Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut as he turned away from the vampires and further into Yeosang’s hold, shaking from more than just the autumn chill. “Get out of here. Say one more thing to him, and I’ll rip your throat out with my fangs.” 

“It is shocking that you still have fangs at all, considering how your lover willingly had his taken away,” the tall one threw back, and even without looking, Seonghwa could feel a shift in the air when Mingi snapped. He turned his head just enough to see Mingi throw himself forward, held back only by Jongho’s arm in front of his chest, halting his trajectory. 

Frightened as he was, it took Seonghwa a few seconds to understand that the last jab had been about Yunho and his lack of fangs. Jongho’s anger was obvious as well, but he managed to restrain Mingi as he spat his next words. “If you know what’s good for you, you will leave now. Our leader is not far from here - he’s with the council right now.” 

And as soon as those words left Jongho’s mouth, the grins faded from the faces of the two vampires. They didn’t say another word, and instead they just turned and stalked away, disappearing within the crowd of people in the night market who had turned to watch. Jongho looked at them next, bringing Mingi back over to where Yeosang and Seonghwa were standing. “Show’s over!” he called out, and they all turned away at once, murmuring amongst themselves. 

“Are you alright?” Yeosang asked now that the other vampires were gone, gripping Seonghwa’s shoulders and holding him at arm’s length, searching his face. 

Inhaling a shuddering breath, Seonghwa nodded and let go of the knife in his pocket, although he was still shaken. “Yeah, I’m okay,” he murmured, glancing over his shoulder, making sure that the vampires were really gone. “Can we go home?” 

Mingi finally softened at that, his anger melting away as he nodded, although some lingering tension was still visible along his jaw. “Yeah, let’s go home,” he replied, his voice a bit distant. “Hongjoong will be there soon, too. I need to talk to him.” 

Swallowing, Seonghwa allowed himself to be guided through the streets and towards where they had left the car, his mind still reeling after all that had just happened. “What did they mean?” he asked once they had left the market behind, their surroundings quieter now. He kept casting glances behind them, unable to rid himself of the feeling that they were being watched. “Why did they say those things?” 

“Wait until we get home,” Jongho said, and he still looked visibly bothered as well, his words clipped. “Hongjoong can explain everything to you.” Although that answer did little to satisfy his question, Seonghwa nodded anyway, focusing instead on bringing down his heart rate as they drew closer to the car. 

Once it came into view, Jongho unlocked it and they all clambered inside, Seonghwa and Mingi in the backseat. On the way there, they had left the middle seat empty, but now Mingi slid in further to take the middle seat instead, clearly with the intent to be closer to Seonghwa. Seonghwa smiled weakly at him, and he returned it, but the expression didn’t reach his eyes. 

Their ride back into the forest was silent, each of them absorbed in their own thoughts, the mood considerably dampened. Seonghwa still struggled to halt his trembling, and he couldn’t regain a hold of himself until Mingi wrapped an arm around his shoulders about halfway through the ride, a silent show of support. Only then did he start to calm down fully, his heart dislodging from his throat, his breath coming more easily. 

When they arrived at the coven house, the four of them went inside to find the first floor otherwise empty. Hongjoong and Yunho both weren’t back yet, and Wooyoung and San were likely upstairs. “He’ll be back soon,” Yeosang promised, and Seonghwa nodded, going straight for the couch and holding the crocheted bunny close to his chest. 

Mingi dropped down to the couch as well, staring into the fireplace with his hands cupped around his mouth, his elbows resting against his knees. “Anything that we kept from you was to keep you safe,” he said after a few minutes of silence, and Seonghwa looked at him, confused. “Just know that, okay?” 

Unsure of how to respond to that, Seonghwa chose to say nothing at all, pulling his knees up to his chest to make himself smaller. Whenever he was upset, or scared, or anything in between, his first instinct was always to take up less space. It hurt less when the world made him feel small if he had already done it himself. 

Steps moved up the stairs, and a few moments later they descended once more, this time with company. A few moments later, Wooyoung appeared at Seonghwa’s side, sitting down beside him and touching his arm gently to get his attention. “Yeosang said what happened,” he breathed, and he looked genuinely upset after hearing the story secondhand. “What do you need?” 

Those words alone made Seonghwa want to cry, and instead he just shook his head, leaning closer to Wooyoung. “I want to know what’s going on,” he murmured, resting his head against Wooyoung’s shoulder. He probably should have asked if that was okay, considering the proximity of his neck to Wooyoung’s fangs, but the boy didn’t resist and Seonghwa was desperate for the comfort. After not receiving any physical touch for most of his life, he craved it now in the same way that his stomach asked for food when he was hungry. He needed it, and he knew that Wooyoung needed it just as much as he did. 

“I would tell you if I knew, but I don’t know anything either,” Wooyoung replied, his voice soft, and that made Seonghwa feel a little bit better. At least he wasn’t the only one in the dark. 

Another few minutes crept by, and then the sound of the front door opening carried through the house. Seonghwa sat up fully, but he slid his hand against Wooyoung’s, lacing their fingers together for comfort. He watched as Hongjoong came into view, stepping into the living room to find some of them on the couch and the rest standing behind, his brows drawing together in confusion. “What’s going on?” 

Immediately, his eyes found Seonghwa, and his expression changed as he crossed the room in a few swift steps. He stopped in front of the couch, and he reached out to settle his fingers under Seonghwa’s chin, raising his face in order for their eyes to meet. “Are you alright?” he breathed, his concern impossible to miss. “Did something happen?” 

Swallowing with force, Seonghwa set his jaw, grounded by Wooyoung’s cold hand within his own. “You tell me,” he replied, his voice lacking its usual warmth. The muscles all along his body were fraught with tension, his shoulders set in a hard line. 

“What do you mean?” Hongjoong pressed, and Seonghwa reached up to brush his hand away, looking down once more. 

When he didn’t reply, Mingi cleared his throat from his place on the other couch, redirecting Hongjoong’s attention. “While we were out, we ran into two sunwalkers. Nothing happened, but only because we didn’t let anything happen. If Seonghwa had been alone, he wouldn’t have been safe.” 

Those words caused Seonghwa’s former chills to return, and Wooyoung squeezed his hand. As soon as the words left Mingi’s mouth, Hongjoong’s entire frame visibly stiffened, his hands curling into fists. “They wouldn’t dare…” he said, but Mingi shook his head. 

“Maybe not now, but he’s on their radar. And really, you should have told him why sooner, because they said a lot of cryptic things. Now you have no choice but to explain.” Hongjoong whirled around to face Seonghwa again, his throat moving as he parted his lips again, his fangs stark white against the pink color of his lips. 

“What did they say to you?” he asked, his gaze piercing, seeing straight through any facade Seonghwa might try to hold in place. 

With a heavy sigh, Seonghwa looked back at him, easily recalling the words that had been circulating around within his mind for the last hour. “‘It was quite the battle to bid for you’,” he recited, the words alone making his skin crawl. “What does that mean?” 

Hongjoong’s jaw tightened, and he scanned over the faces of the others, beckoning all of them to come sit on the couch now. “Okay,” he muttered to himself, pacing along the length of the floor in front of the middle couch where Seonghwa and Wooyoung were seated. San joined them as well, and Jongho and Yeosang joined Mingi on the other couch. “I will tell you everything. But please, you must listen to everything I say before you come to your own conclusions.” 

Although he was tempted to say that he didn’t have to do anything if he didn’t want to, he didn’t want to escalate the situation any further, so he just gave a belated nod. “Fine,” he said, and even as the others settled down, Hongjoong’s eyes never strayed from Seonghwa’s face. 

“I never wanted a feeder,” Hongjoong said, coming right out with the words, and they hit Seonghwa straight in the chest. He shrunk back against the couch, pressing a hand to his neck, sucking in a sharp breath. And really, those words shouldn’t have hurt as bad as they did, but he couldn’t control the feeling. He felt the pain in his heart, and his eyes stung against his will. 

Clearly reading Seonghwa’s expression, Hongjoong continued, tension visible at the corners of his mouth. “That is why I have told you over and over again that I will never treat you like a slave, like most other vampires would. I never wanted a feeder at all, because I do not believe it is right. I do not believe that any human should have to sign their life away in order to survive. Humans should never let other humans struggle with that degree of desperation.” 

Everything he said aligned perfectly with how Seonghwa felt about his own struggle, but now that he sat there listening to it, he felt more vulnerable than he had since his first day in this house. How naive he had been, to think that Hongjoong couldn’t see right through him. 

“However, what you do not understand is how the feeder system works. Every feeder is entered in a system with their basic information, and vampires are permitted to place bids on that human if they are interested. I never wanted a feeder, but I do check the feeder system on occasion anyway, because I believe it to be cruel. I do not think it is right. But when I opened it and I saw you, you struck something different inside of me.” Hongjoong was staring at Seonghwa, his eyes pleading, begging for him to understand. 

But no one had told Seonghwa any of this at the blood bank, when he had agreed to have himself assigned to a vampire. He had never known about this bidding system, and it made him feel sick now, his stomach churning.

Any vampire who had checked that system had seen his face and read his information, then. And no human even bothered to protest against that, because feeders were the disgraces of society anyway. Once he agreed to be a feeder, he had essentially thrown away any scraps of worth he may have still possessed in the eyes of the rest of the humans in the city. 

He wished the couch would swallow him, and his hands had started to shake again, numb to Wooyoung’s touch. “You must understand… most feeders do not look like you, Seonghwa. You are beautiful, and that is evident to anyone who lays their eyes upon you. But most feeders are not the same; they look… sick, or damaged in ways that you do not. Do you understand what I am referencing?” 

“I understand better than anyone else,” Seonghwa croaked, hating how his voice cracked. “I’ve been surrounded by people like that all my life.” 

“I know,” Hongjoong murmured, no longer pacing now, just standing there before the fireplace. He was still wearing the cloak he often wore when he went outside, the same one that he had wrapped around Seonghwa’s shoulders that night on the porch. “But when your information appeared on that portal, along with a photograph of you… in all of my years I have never seen the bids rise that high. Every vampire in this city wanted you, Seonghwa. The cruelest, most despicable ones wanted you.” 

Breath catching in his throat, Seonghwa erupted into a brief fit of coughing, pressing his loosely curled fist to his mouth. He hated the looks of concern, the pity. He just wanted them to look at him like he was normal again. “And let me guess,” he muttered, meeting Hongjoong’s eyes at last. “The worst ones were winning.” 

After a few long seconds of silence, Hongjoong nodded. “Yes,” he admitted, and the room may as well have been empty aside from the two of them. “You were going to be bought by the leader of the sunwalker coven here in Seoul, and he is a terrible man. I have a… poor history with him. And I just could not let you go to him.”

“So you outbidded him,” Seonghwa filled in, his mind reeling. “For me.” 

Hongjoong nodded again, and he moved forward at last, settling down into a crouch right in front of Seonghwa. In this current position, Seonghwa was the one holding the power, with Hongjoong kneeling at his feet. It was impossible to miss the meaning in that. “I did,” Hongjoong answered. “And I do not regret it. Please understand this.” 

“But you never really wanted me,” Seonghwa continued, a pang of pain shooting through his chest when Hongjoong’s face fell. “You only bought me because I would have gone to an enemy of yours otherwise.” 

“Well, perhaps at first I did it solely to protect you from the vampires who would hurt you,” Hongjoong admitted, and Seonghwa did appreciate his honesty, despite how it hurt. “But that is not the case any longer. I did not want a feeder, that is the truth, but I do want you. Because you are far more than just a feeder to me, darling. Do you understand?” 

Seonghwa didn’t respond straight away, mulling over all of this in his mind, his head starting to pound. He had known that Hongjoong had requested him, as the woman from the blood bank had told him that, but he hadn’t realized the true circumstances of why Hongjoong had done that. “How much money did you spend?” he whispered, the thought suddenly occurring to him. “In order to outbid everyone else?” 

“That does not matter,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa understood then that Hongjoong would likely never tell him the answer to his question. “And I am sorry for not telling you this sooner, but I did not want you to believe yourself indebted to me. You are still free to behave in any way that pleases you. You are not under my control, and you never will be.” 

Pressing his thumb and forefinger into the skin above his eyebrows to alleviate the ache that had gathered there, Seonghwa nodded. “Okay,” he whispered, for he had no reason to question Hongjoong’s words, not when he had proven his intent since the start. “But those vampires who confronted us today… they knew who I was because they had probably placed bids as well, then? Every vampire out there - they all wanted to have me? To use me for my blood?” 

Hongjoong grimaced, his anger evident even as he withheld the worst of it. “That is why I warned you about being outside without one of us. Because if you had been alone, they wouldn’t have left so easy. Every vampire in this city knows who you are. Beyond that, every vampire in this city hungers for your blood. I do not say this with the intent to scare you, but you must understand. It is dangerous for you to leave here alone.” 

“I get it,” Seonghwa choked out, and he fought the urge to flinch when Hongjoong reached out a hand to cup his cheek. “So I just… won’t ever be safe again, is that what you’re saying? Because even if I leave after our contract ends, that will mean that the vampires can just come after me, won’t it?” 

“Do not worry about that right now,” Hongjoong soothed, although Seonghwa found it difficult not to, considering all of the implications of what he had just learned. “You are safe here. You will have a safe place here for as long as you want it. I will never let anyone hurt you.” 

Biting his lip, Seonghwa hated how his eyes burned. He was tired of being a victim. All his life, he had felt like something was wrong with him, and he was so tired of bearing the weight of that feeling. “I’m going to my room,” he said eventually, and he pulled Hongjoong’s hand away from his face, getting to his feet and sidestepping Hongjoong’s crouching form. “I’m sorry, I just - I feel overwhelmed. I need to be alone.” 

He hated how he resorted to a desperation to be alone when he was hurt, but he had been alone for so long that his distressed mind didn’t know how to relax when he was surrounded by people. Deep down, he wanted their comfort, but he wasn’t in the right state of mind to trust their kindness. 

To their credit, the others let him go, for they had spent enough time with him now to understand what he needed. And that only served to make it all worse, because had Seonghwa really been so easy to read from the start? 

Rushing up the stairs, he went straight to his room and closed the door before crumpling right to the ground, unable to even make it to his bed before the tears began to flow. He dropped his head into his hands, and he curled up as small as the size of his body would allow. His chest hurt, and he didn’t know how to make the feeling go away. He didn’t know much of anything anymore. 

For a while, he stayed there on the floor and cried, keeping his mouth clamped shut to muffle any sounds, desperate not to garner any further worry from the vampires who had taken him in. Already, they had done so much more for him than he deserved. They had given him a home, and food, and had treated him with nothing but care. 

But beyond that, they had also paid an obscene amount of money to keep him safe from all of the other vampires out there who wanted to sink their teeth into his flesh, to drain his body of its blood. 

Fear gripped his frame at the mere thought of how different his life would be now if he had wound up bound to a different coven, a different vampire. He would be nothing but a blood bag, to be used and abused on a whim by the one who owned him. He wasn’t naive, either; he understood that he would likely have been used for more than just his blood, if all of those vampires were so entranced by his appearance. 

Nausea swirled in the pit of his stomach, and he swallowed down the surge of bile that stung the back of his tongue, breathing heavily through his nose. His face was sticky with tears, and his skin was burning hot to the touch. 

He wasn’t upset with Hongjoong, or any of the other vampires within this coven; he owed them even more than he had ever realized. Rather, he was upset with the world in general, with the terrible hand of cards he had been dealt on the day he had been born. 

How was it fair that so many other people lived mostly happy lives, while he was so used to suffering that misery was more familiar than the awkward stretch of his face around a smile? His own laughter was a more foreign sound than the rumbling of hunger within his hollow stomach; he was more accustomed to the feeling of knuckles splitting his skin than the warm arms of an embrace. 

Why had humanity constantly turned its back on him? Was he really that different from everyone else?

He dragged himself up from the floor in favor of curling up in his bed, for at least the blankets were softer than the hardwood floor. Between the visit into the city and the discussion that had come afterwards, he was completely wiped of energy, and it didn’t take long until his eyes grew heavy. He didn’t resist when they fell closed, the overhead light still beaming down as he drifted into sleep. 

~

When he cracked his eyes open, the room was dark. He sat up in his bed and pressed a palm to his forehead as he groaned, his headache still present even after a few hours of sleep. The glow of sunlight peeked through the gap beneath the curtains that covered his windows, and it occurred to him that someone must have come in here to turn off his lights and close the curtains. 

He sat there for a few minutes, blinking aimlessly at the wall as he recalled all that had happened before he had fallen asleep, all of the information he had learned about the true circumstances of his assignment to Hongjoong. Now that a few hours had passed, his emotions weren’t as volatile, and he was able to process all of it more easily as he blinked the last of the sleep away. 

Something occurred to him then, however, and he turned to set his feet down against the floor. Amidst his surge of emotions, he had forgotten about Hongjoong’s usual nightly feed. Guilty filled his mouth with bitterness, and he forced himself up from the bed, still wearing his clothes from the day before as he shuffled out of his room and towards the one next door. 

After all that Hongjoong had done for him, the least he could do now was actually uphold his own end of the deal. All that Hongjoong needed from him was one feeding per night, and he hadn’t even succeeded at that, too concerned with himself. 

He stood outside of Hongjoong’s door for a minute before he worked up the courage to knock, keeping the sound quiet in case any of the others were already in their rooms, sleeping through the day. Several seconds passed by, and he wrapped his arms around himself as he stood there awkwardly, beginning to realize that he wasn’t going to receive an answer. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he touched his hand to the doorknob, the metal cold beneath his human skin. Taking care not to make a sound, he twisted the knob, casting a glance over his shoulder before he pushed the door open far enough to slip inside. 

Hongjoong’s room was dark as well, blackout curtains keeping any hint of sunlight out. The only source of light came from the hallway, a sliver exposed by the open door, slicing a window of visibility over the bed. Soft, rhythmic sounds filled the space, and only then did Seonghwa understand that Hongjoong was snoring, deep in the grasp of sleep. 

For a moment he just stood there, staring at the bed, at the prone body resting upon it. Hongjoong wasn’t covered by any blankets, and Seonghwa stared at him in confusion before realizing that he had no need for a blanket when he couldn’t feel the cold. Something about that made him sad, in a way. It didn’t feel right to sleep without the comfort of a blanket, for that had sometimes been the only comfort available to him. 

Seonghwa pushed the door open a bit further to illuminate Hongjoong’s face as well, his eyes closed and his lashes dusting lightly over his cheeks. His hair was an unruly mess against his pillow, and his arms were splayed out at his sides, taking up the full space of the large mattress. In sleep, he didn’t look like a vampire who had been alive for centuries. He looked young, almost like a boy, the timelessness of his soul hidden behind his closed eyelids. 

His chest didn’t move, because he wasn’t alive, but a current of fear still swept through Seonghwa’s frame when he noticed that small detail. Sometimes, he forgot that Hongjoong was technically dead, for he was so animated when he was awake. He was all sparkling eyes and curved lips and sultry tones, no different from a human in that sense. 

While he was awake, he still breathed a lot of the time, a reflex of his body in the same manner as his snoring. He still gasped, and sighed, and whispered as much as a human would. But in sleep, his body was still, only his soft snores reassuring Seonghwa that he was okay. In sleep, he truly did resemble the dead in a way that made Seonghwa feel uneasy, afraid that none of this had ever been real at all. 

Just as he was about to slip out of the room once more, Hongjoong’s body moved in one swift motion, however, his eyes snapping open as he rose into a seated position. Scared out of his mind by the abrupt disruption of the stillness in the room, Seonghwa stumbled back a step, his hand flying to his chest as his heartbeat stuttered into a faster pace. 

“Seonghwa?” asked Hongjoong, his voice thick with sleep, accent more pronounced than usual. Still, his eyes were piercing as they stared at one another, shining in the light from the hallway. “What is wrong? Are you okay?” He shifted again, clearly intending to stand up, and that snapped Seonghwa out of his stupor. 

“N-no, nothing’s wrong,” he stammered, holding up his hands in surrender, his face burning. He never should have come in here, for now he looked like a creep for standing here and watching Hongjoong sleep. Which… was technically true, although he forced the thought aside as he scrambled for an explanation. “I just - I wanted to see if you were still awake, because I realized that after everything that happened, you never drank from me. You must be hungry.” 

Patting the other side of the bed, Hongjoong beckoned Seonghwa forward. “Oh darling, you are so sweet,” he murmured, and warmth curled within Seonghwa’s stomach at the tone of his voice. “Come here.” He leaned over to turn on the lamp beside his bed, light filling the shadowed corners of his room at last. 

The wooden floorboards creaked softly under Seonghwa’s feet as he finally closed the door to the room and crossed over to Hongjoong’s bed, coming to a stop right beside it. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said, fiddling with his fingers to alleviate his anxiety, and Hongjoong looked up at him with his brows slightly raised. 

“You may wake me whenever you please. I do not require much sleep anyway.” He patted the surface of the bed once more, looking at Seonghwa expectantly. “Will you sit? You may go under the comforter if you wish. I do not use it, but you are welcome to do so whenever you feel cold.” 

Dipping his head in a small nod, Seonghwa sat down on the bed. That alone was nothing new, for he had laid down on Hongjoong’s bed plenty of times for feedings in the past, but something about this time felt different. This wasn’t a usual feeding time, and after the truths that had been unearthed the last time they had spoken, the energy between them had shifted. 

Shifting his hair away from the right side of his neck, Seonghwa tilted his head to bare the exposed skin in Hongjoong’s direction. “I’m ready,” he said, staring down at his lap. “You can feed from me now, to make up for before.” 

Cold fingers wrapped around his wrist, and when Hongjoong didn’t say anything right away, Seonghwa tilted his head to seek out his face. Hongjoong’s expression had completely changed, the corners of his mouth downturned and his eyes remorseful. “Is that really all you think of me?” he asked. 

Seonghwa parted his lips, confused. “I - I don’t understand,” he said, trying to keep his focus on Hongjoong’s words and not the physical reaction of his body to that gentle touch. Goosebumps had erupted along his arms, and his nerves had become particularly sensitive. Hongjoong’s touch always seemed to have that effect on him. 

“Seonghwa, I do not care about a missed feeding. If you decided today that you never wanted me to feed from you again, I would respect that decision, and I would never take advantage of you. It matters to me how you are feeling. I was angry before, and I did not check in with you with the same intent as I should have. Are you okay?” 

Understanding now that Hongjoong had no intention to feed right then, Seonghwa straightened his neck, his hair falling forward to cover his scars once more. His immediate response to that question was to say he was fine, to appease the one asking, but he stopped himself before the words had the opportunity to leave his mouth. Hongjoong was being sincere, he could see it in his face and hear it in his voice. 

Was Seonghwa really okay? Hongjoong would see right through him if he lied, he understood that now, so there was little point in avoiding the honest truth. 

“Not really,” he admitted, his voice strangled. He had never actually been honest about that to another person before, and it was scary to bear his true feelings. Hiding his vulnerabilities had been a key part of his survival over the years, so to lay them bare before another person now was frightening. “It scared me. All of it did. I’m just… I’m so tired of being scared all the time.” 

“I am very sorry for what happened,” Hongjoong said, releasing his grip on Seonghwa’s wrist to cradle his hand gently instead. “I should have been there. Those sunwalkers, they have a tendency to strike when I am not around. Next time you need to leave this house, I will accompany you.” 

Seonghwa nodded, and he found that he did feel a bit better knowing that. He trusted Hongjoong more than anyone else, because even after tasting his blood he had never been anything but kind. Perhaps a bit too flirtatious, but always kind underneath. Hongjoong’s fangs had parted the flesh of his neck numerous times, always gentle, always attentive to Seonghwa’s needs. “Thank you,” he murmured. 

The light of the lamp behind Hongjoong created a halo around his head, illuminating the messy state of his hair, his face hidden in shadow. But still his eyes glittered, so alive even within the confines of his otherwise dead body. “I have told you before that I would do anything for you,” he replied, unblinking as he stared at Seonghwa. “I did not lie about that. I will not lie to you again, I promise.” 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa said, for now that he had thought this all over, he didn’t feel quite so betrayed. “I understand why you didn’t tell me. I would never have come to trust you if I knew the truth of why I was here in the first place.” 

Hongjoong smiled, and the expression produced an ache in Seonghwa’s heart, one that made it hard to breathe. He didn’t understand why that happened sometimes, why his body ached in response to Hongjoong’s kindness. “You trust me?” he asked, and Seonghwa blushed. 

“Don’t take that to mean more than it does,” Seonghwa replied, but Hongjoong’s grin still didn’t diminish. “I trust you not to hurt me, because you haven’t given me any reason not to believe that yet. I don’t want to have to change my mind, so please don’t make me do that.” 

“I would never,” Hongjoong said without pause, the words coming as easily as the rising and setting of the sun. “I am sorry if my words today hurt you, but I would like to clarify something to you now. I did not want a feeder, but that does not matter, because I will always want you. Now that I know you, I will spend all of my years wanting you. I do not say that lightly.” 

Blinking hard, Seonghwa parted his lips with little forethought, unable to believe that. “You have an eternity ahead of you,” he pointed out, for he spent more time thinking about that than he would ever admit aloud. “I have a mortal lifetime, and that is all. You may want me now, but you will not want me forever. You don’t need to lie, it’s okay.” 

“I am not lying,” Hongjoong insisted. “I would not lie about this. You matter more than you think you do. I have been alive for a long time, that is true, but because of that I know very quickly when I have found something special. And you are special to me, Seonghwa. In all of my years, no one has made me feel the same way that you do.” 

Seonghwa’s first instinct was to protest, for he was certain that Hongjoong’s words could not be truthful, but then something occurred to him. He was sitting on this bed with a comforter underneath him, one that Hongjoong did not use, a fact he had made quite clear. Seonghwa’s bed was covered not only by a comforter, but also by several other types of blankets, varying in texture and thickness. 

From his first day here, Hongjoong had always kept the refrigerator stocked with all of the foods Seonghwa liked. Hongjoong had given him a knife that had been his own several centuries before, one that clearly held a lot of meaning for him. In many ways, Hongjoong had already shown how much Seonghwa mattered to him. After all, he had never given that knife away before now - no one else had ever warranted that gesture. 

Mind turning, Seonghwa reached for the edge of the comforter, trailing his hands along it. “What are you doing?” Hongjoong asked, but Seonghwa ignored the question, shifting on the bed as he searched for something. He found it a few seconds later, and he lifted up the edge of the comforter for Hongjoong to see.

“You only bought this for me, didn’t you?” he asked, for he was holding a price tag in his hand, one that Hongjoong had failed to remove from the blanket since he never actually used it. “For when I come in here for feedings.” 

Glancing at the tag before returning his gaze to Seonghwa’s face, Hongjoong nodded. “I bought it on the same day I bought the blankets for your bed. I removed the tags from yours, but I suppose I forgot about mine. I am sorry if the tag is bothersome to you.” 

“Did you never have a blanket before this?” Seonghwa pressed, staring down at the tag in his hand. He ripped it free, returning to his spot at the head of the bed beside Hongjoong. 

“The mattress is comfortable enough on its own,” Hongjoong explained, seemingly not understanding why Seonghwa was so fixated on this. “But yes, I did buy it for you. I know that humans are sometimes cold when they sleep, so they benefit from the use of blankets. If you do not like it, I can buy a different one. I did not know what you would like.”

Seonghwa shook his head, slightly exasperated now. “No, that’s not what I mean. I just - when you said that I am special to you, in a way that you haven’t felt before, I didn’t think that was true. But if you bought me all of those blankets, and the food in the fridge, and if you gave me the knife that used to belong to you… then maybe it is. Maybe it is true.” 

That last sentence hung in the air as the two of them looked at each other, and the atmosphere in the room shifted ever so slightly, still warm but now charged with something that hadn’t been there before. Hongjoong’s stare was endless, his touch gentle as he took the tag from Seonghwa’s hand, setting it down beside them. 

His gaze flitted to Seonghwa’s lips before returning to his face, the air around them charged with warmth. “I have something else for you,” he murmured, his voice quieter now. “Please give me your hand.” 

With a hard swallow, Seonghwa held out his hand, and Hongjoong took it gently into his own. He reached towards the bedside table, and he opened the small top drawer, taking something out before closing it once more. Turning back to Seonghwa, he looked down at the hand now in his own, pressing against Seonghwa’s ring finger to raise it slightly above the rest.

He turned his other hand to reveal a ring that now rested in his palm. The band was thick and made from silver, with a massive ruby at the center, a beautiful piece of vintage jewelry. Seonghwa gasped at the sight of it, entranced by how the limited light in the room reflected off the surface of the precious gem. He had never seen a ring this beautiful before, and he was sure that it must be worth a fortune. 

Despite that, Hongjoong slid it right onto Seonghwa’s finger, and it rested perfectly at the base. “Why are you giving me this?” Seonghwa breathed, in awe of the beautiful stone now resting on his own finger. Anyone who saw him now would never know the truth of his past, that he had been poor his entire life. This one ring was worth more than everything Seonghwa owned, and he couldn’t understand why Hongjoong would give it to him. 

“Twist the ruby clockwise,” Hongjoong directed, dodging the question as he released Seonghwa’s hand. Biting his lip, Seonghwa touched the stone reluctantly, afraid that he would break it. “It is okay, I had the ring made special for this purpose. You can twist it, do not be afraid.” 

Biting his lip in concentration, Seonghwa started to twist the ruby, and his eyes grew wide when it turned easily. After two full twists, the sound of shifting metal rang through the air, and Seonghwa sucked in a sharp breath when the ruby split clean in half to make room for the sharp wooden spike that emerged from the silver band. 

“It is a beautiful ring, but it is also a weapon,” Hongjoong explained, reading Seonghwa’s surprise. “That wooden spike is all you need to subdue a vampire. A stab to the neck would be most effective, but it is capable of causing immense pain to any area of the body. To return it to the regular ring, you need only to press the ruby back together and twist it in reverse.” 

Seonghwa touched the ruby again, pressing both sides together, and the spike retracted once more. He twisted counter-clockwise this time, and when he was finished, the ring looked the same as before. The split in the ruby wasn’t visible at all; it was impossible to tell that a weapon was hidden inside. 

“You had this made?” he asked, looking up at Hongjoong, who nodded. “For me?” 

“Yes.” Hongjoong offered a slight smile, and this expression was more innocent than usual, lacking that slight edge that Seonghwa was used to. His eyes had softened now, and the depth of his honesty was impossible to miss. “I will keep you safe, but I want you to have the ability to keep yourself safe as well. I am not underestimating you - I know that you have kept yourself safe long before I met you. But I promise you that I will do everything in my power to keep you from having to use the weapons I give you. I hope they will only ever function as jewelry.” 

Touched, Seonghwa nodded. His eyes were burning, and he hoped that Hongjoong couldn’t tell how close he was to tears. “Thank you,” he murmured, although he wished that he could find different words, words that would convey just how much this all meant to him. 

But Hongjoong was happy regardless; he didn’t expect anything that Seonghwa wasn’t able or willing to give. “I want you, Seonghwa,” he said again, and Seonghwa could have listened to him say that forever. “But it seems to me like no one has ever said that to you before.” 

Vision blurring, Seonghwa shook his head, throat burning as he tried to keep his tears at bay. “That’s right,” he murmured, ashamed of both his words and his tears. “So I’m sorry if I’ve made this hard for you, or if I don’t react to things in the way that other people would. No one has ever wanted me before. For my entire life, no one has ever wanted me. So I - I get scared, because I trust you and that terrifies me. Because if you hurt me, I’ll spend the rest of my life getting over it. I don’t know how to let myself be cared for, because I’ve never experienced it before.”

Once he started to speak, all of the words came tumbling right out, and by the time he was finished he already tasted salt on his tongue from the tears that had spilled into his mouth. He hated how shaky he had become, both his voice and his body, and he wiped roughly at his cheeks. “Sorry,” he said again, because he didn’t know how else to deal with this. He didn’t want to break down, but he could feel it coming, and that was the scariest thing of all. 

“Oh, darling,” Hongjoong murmured, his hands moving forward before halting, as if he wanted to touch Seonghwa but was afraid to overstep. “There is no need to apologize. If I am being honest, I was hoping we would have this conversation soon. I can feel that you hold back around me, and I do not want you to have to suffer in silence. You do not have to hide how you feel from me. Never from me.” 

Now that Seonghwa had started to cry, the tears refused to stop, and when he looked at Hongjoong he could barely see his face at all. “How do I know that for sure?” he asked, his voice no louder than a whisper, afraid of his own words. “Hiding is all I know how to do.” 

Hongjoong shook his head. “You know how to do a lot more than that, darling. I have seen it myself. You know how to make Wooyoung feel comfortable, and safe, when none of us have been able to do that. You know how to connect with people, how to see straight to their hearts. I know you have been hurt, but you see through to the heart of the people around you. I’ve seen you do it. Let me be that person for you. Because I have already seen your heart, and I know that it is as beautiful as the rest of you.” 

“It isn’t,” Seonghwa breathed, and when he blinked, a tear dripped down to the comforter. He watched as it spread through the fabric, the color darkening in a circle around where the tear had fallen. “You are the only person who thinks that.” 

“So what?” Hongjoong countered, not a hint of doubt behind the question. “I do not care what other people think of you. People think bad things about me, too. It does not matter.” 

Seonghwa sighed, dropping his head into his hands, his shoulders shaking as his tears continued to flow. “I never knew my parents. I was brought to an orphanage at two years old, after someone found me in an alley in the city with fang marks in my neck. A vampire drank my blood when I was a baby, and left me there to die. The thing you do, where you lick my neck to close the wounds… the vampire who hurt me didn’t even do that. I was supposed to die that day.

“In the orphanage, other kids came and went, and I was the one who never left. No one ever wanted me, and I was treated like shit during my time there. When I was finally old enough to leave, I realized that the adult world isn’t any better. People hurt me and stole from me before I learned how to survive. I was beaten almost to death more than once. Do you know the absolute terror that paralyzes you when someone holds a gun to your head? I was only eight the first time someone did that to me. I’ve been used again and again, my entire life. I am conditioned to believe that you’re only going to use me, too.” 

Through his tears, Seonghwa glared at Hongjoong, although the anger was completely misplaced. “I refuse to be used anymore,” he said, forcing his voice not to tremble. “And you scare me more than anyone else I’ve met in my entire life, because I want to believe that you’re the exception. Your kindness is more terrifying than any gun. Please, I beg that you don’t hurt me. I won’t be able to bear it if you do. Please.” 

“I will never hurt you,” Hongjoong whispered, something unreadable behind his eyes. He moved his hands again then, extending them towards Seonghwa. “Can I hold you? Will you allow me to do that?” 

The fact that he was even asking proved enough about his character, but Seonghwa couldn’t shake his terror. If he allowed this vampire to hold him, he would yearn for it for the rest of his days afterwards. 

But that didn’t change the truth - he still wanted it. He wanted it so badly that it hurt. 

He looked back at Hongjoong, and he knew that the vampire could see all of his hurt, his apprehension. Unconsciously, Seonghwa had started to curl in on himself as soon as his tears first began to fall, and now he uncoiled the slightest bit, his lips trembling as he answered. “Okay,” he breathed, his voice hardly audible at all. “But please… be gentle. I can’t take any more pain, I just - I can’t.” 

“Come here,” Hongjoong murmured, and when he reached forward, Seonghwa went into his arms willingly. He allowed himself to be pulled closer, his head guided into the crook of Hongjoong’s neck, those small but strong arms wrapping around his back. “I know you are afraid, but you need to let yourself have this. You cannot go on forever all on your own. It does not make you weak to crave the comfort you’ve never known.” 

Pressing his face into Hongjoong’s neck, Seonghwa continued to cry, his body shaking in the cage of Hongjoong’s arms. He felt safe like this, and he couldn’t hold himself together anymore. “No one has ever touched me without hurting me,” he said through his tears, breath hitching. “No one before you.” 

One of Hongjoong’s hands carded through his hair, fingers brushing the tangles away, cupping the back of his head with gentle care. “I understand,” Hongjoong murmured, and Seonghwa could feel the vibration of his voice through his neck. “I did not know gentleness when I was a human. At least, not that I could remember.” 

Seonghwa fisted his hands in the front of Hongjoong’s silk pajama shirt, black like most of his clothes. Every breath was uneven as his entire body trembled, and he struggled to speak through the sobs that he tried his hardest to withhold. “Is that true?” 

“I will not lie to you,” Hongjoong reminded, but his voice was gentle. “Yes, it is true. When I was a child, the world was very different than it is now. Vampires existed unchecked by laws, and they killed my entire family when I was five years old. I do not remember most of my life before that, but I know that I had parents, and brothers and sisters, and vampires killed them all. I was the only one left alive, because I had a habit of sleeping under my bed, afraid of vampires. How ironic, that my fear was the only thing that saved me.” 

His tone remained calm, distant from the story he was telling, only a slight undercurrent of bitterness present. “I started hunting vampires not long after that. The knife I gave to you used to be mine, and before me it belonged to my mother. I killed many vampires with that knife when I was a human.”

“Why would you want to become a vampire after that?” Seonghwa asked, and his cries had quieted as he listened to Hongjoong speak. 

Hongjoong huffed a laugh, absent of all humor. “I did not want it,” he said simply, and Seonghwa’s trembling halted as he understood what the words meant. “I would have rather died.” 

Silence followed, heavy and thick, until Seonghwa pulled back just enough to look at Hongjoong’s face. His eyes were glassy, shining in a different way now. “How can vampires still cry?” Seonghwa asked, reaching out a shaky hand to brush away the first tear that escaped when Hongjoong blinked. 

“The same way we can bleed,” he responded, closing his eyes when Seonghwa’s hand touched his face, sucking in a breath. “The body dies, but it is… reborn. Part of why Yunho is so invested in his position is because of the research he is involved in. He wants to understand that answer to your question, probably more than anyone else.” 

Seonghwa pulled his hand back, but he didn’t miss how Hongjoong had leaned into his touch, how it had affected him. “I’m so sorry for what happened to you,” he said, and his own sinuses began to burn all over again, for despite all he had suffered in his life he had still always been too empathetic for his own good. “No one deserves that.” 

“Although I am a vampire, I fought for the regulations because of my own suffering. I did not want another soul to endure that kind of pain. You see how Wooyoung struggles, and that is a boy who wanted to be turned. When you do not want it… it is a different kind of pain, one I would not wish upon anyone.” Hongjoong sighed and opened his eyes once more, his eyelids hooded. “I want you to know that I understand you. You are not alone anymore.” 

“Thank you,” Seonghwa whispered. “That… that means more to me than you could ever know.” 

Hongjoong mustered a smile, although his eyes were still home to a deep sadness, the kind that never truly disappeared. Perhaps he had learned how to mask it well over the centuries, but that pain would always live inside of him. Seonghwa returned the smile, the least he could do for this vampire who had given him everything. 

Now that he had let himself cry, and had allowed Hongjoong to hold him, Seonghwa didn’t feel quite as prone to shattering. He sniffled, rubbing the drying tears away from his cheeks with his sleeve. “Are you hungry?” he asked, looking at Hongjoong. “You can feed from me if you are.” Hongjoong opened his mouth, likely to decline, so Seonghwa added something else. “And don’t lie to me - you promised you wouldn’t.” 

Hongjoong paused, his lips parted, and Seonghwa grinned. “You caught me,” he said after a moment, but his eyes had regained their usual sparkle now. “But… are you certain? I do not want to feed if you are still bothered by what we discussed earlier.” 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa insisted, and he wasn’t lying either. “I don’t mind. It isn’t a bad thing - the feedings, I mean. I could use to feel a bit loose, right now. As long as you’ll take care of me.” 

Smiling now, Hongjoong nodded. “You know I will,” he murmured, and Seonghwa’s heart warmed, because that was true. He did know, and that was the greatest gift that Hongjoong had given him, worth more than the precious gems and hidden weapons. “Come here, then. If you would let me, I would like to do this a bit differently this time.” 

That piqued Seonghwa’s interest, and he shifted closer to Hongjoong again, those sturdy but gentle arms circling around his back. Hongjoong pulled him further forward, until Seonghwa was essentially sitting in his lap, heart racing. “Um, are you sure this is… okay?” Seonghwa asked, his skin flaming. 

“I have always wanted to feed from you like this,” Hongjoong said easily, and Seonghwa half expected his heart to leap right out of his mouth. Hongjoong had already held him before, but something about this was… different. Exhilarating. “As long as it is okay with you.” 

Hongjoong’s gaze burned against Seonghwa’s skin, and he was hyper aware of the feeling of those hands against his body as he replied. “It’s okay with me,” he breathed, held in place by their shared eye contact. 

Lips curling, Hongjoong brushed the hair away from the right side of Seonghwa’s neck with a gentle hand, revealing the skin typically hidden behind the black strands. He leaned forward, but he didn’t sink his fangs through the flesh yet; rather, he just tightened his hold, hugging Seonghwa close. 

Easily dissolving into his touch now, Seonghwa sighed when he felt Hongjoong’s lips brush against the sensitive skin of his neck. He waited for the sharp pain of the initial bite, but it didn’t come right away. Hongjoong’s lips lingered for another breath, and then he finally opened his mouth, the sharp points of his fangs resting against Seonghwa’s skin. 

As he sunk them in deeper, he raised one of his hands to rest against the other side of Seonghwa’s neck, fingers threading through his hair. The pain only lasted for a second, and then the drug swept through Seonghwa’s system, the strength flooding out of his muscles. It didn’t matter though, not when Hongjoong’s arms were there to hold him, his fingers brushing through his hair in a steady rhythm. 

With one of his fists gripping the front of Hongjoong’s shirt, Seonghwa let himself relax fully into Hongjoong’s hold, curled in his lap while the blood was steadily drawn out from his neck. The hand around Seonghwa’s back shifted slightly to grasp his waist, and a soft sound escaped from Seonghwa’s lips. 

Feedings were intimate by nature, but this time was entirely different from the rest, Hongjoong’s hands gentle but moving with more intent than before. He wasn’t afraid to touch Seonghwa, wasn’t holding him like he was afraid to make a wrong move, and Seonghwa liked that. He liked how Hongjoong made him feel safe, like he could just let go of all of his worry and let himself be cared for. 

Never had Seonghwa experienced anything like this before, and by the time Hongjoong withdrew his fangs, he was completely limp and overcome with bliss. He shivered when Hongjoong’s tongue ran over his neck, healing the wounds left behind. “Thank you, darling,” Hongjoong murmured, nuzzling Seonghwa’s neck, his voice an accented purr. “You are an angel.” 

Seonghwa couldn’t speak, his tongue too awkward in his mouth due to the drug, but he didn’t need to. Hongjoong continued to hold him close, brushing fingers through his hair to help him relax, looking down at him with a soft smile on his lips. He didn’t say anything either, but the air around them was still comfortable, a silence that held Seonghwa’s heart like a pair of soft, familiar hands. 

As the time passed by, Seonghwa’s eyelids began to droop, exhaustion pulling at his consciousness. “Go to sleep,” Hongjoong murmured, slowly shifting back along the mattress until he was closer to the head of the bed. He pulled up the comforter from where it was tucked around the mattress, and gently moved Seonghwa to the other side of the bed. 

Just as Hongjoong was about to wrap the comforter around him, Seonghwa blinked hard, a sluggish panic gripping his chest. “Don’ leave,” he slurred, fumbling for Hongjoong’s wrist, desperate not to lose the contact. Over the last few weeks, he had become less clingy after feedings, but this time was different. “Please, I wan’ you to hold me. Please.” 

“Shh, do not get upset, it’s okay,” Hongjoong soothed, sliding his own body under the comforter now before drawing Seonghwa’s body close. “I will stay with you. I will hold you until you fall asleep, okay?” 

Blinking up at him, Seonghwa relaxed into his touch once more, immediately calmed by the physical confirmation that he wasn’t alone. “Promise?”

Hongjoong leaned his head down to gently press his lips to Seonghwa’s forehead, a tender kiss that he wouldn’t remember when he woke up and the effects of the drug were gone. “I promise. Go to sleep, darling.” He paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was so quiet that Seonghwa could barely understand his words. “You are the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time.” 

Even in sleep, Seonghwa kept his hand fisted in the fabric of Hongjoong’s shirt, his body still desperate for affection while his mind was at rest. And even in sleep, Hongjoong held him close, his grip never falling away. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #7: A vampire sire is legally responsible in full for their fledgling. Both parties will answer for any laws broken by the fledgling.

~

Seonghwa squinted his eyes open to find his surroundings completely dark, no sunlight coming through the window, no bedside lamp turned on. He blinked the remnants of sleep away before raising his head with the intent to sit up, but only then did he register the arms wrapped around his abdomen. Cold arms. Familiar arms. 

Heart racing, Seonghwa froze in place, for even though he couldn’t see Hongjoong’s face, he knew where he was. He had fallen asleep in here several hours before, when he had ventured to Hongjong’s room to apologize for the feeding he had missed. His memory was fuzzy after the feeding, but he recalled all that Hongjoong had told him before that, the truth that had spilled from his own lips as well. 

Even after all of that, after Seonghwa’s tears and his desperation for a caring touch, Hongjoong had still wanted him. Seonghwa’s body loosened as he remembered how gentle Hongjoong had been, how understanding, and he allowed himself to fall back against the pillows again. Hongjoong’s arms wrapped tighter around his middle, keeping him close even in sleep, never breaking his promise. 

Perhaps Seonghwa should have left the room now that he was awake, but he couldn’t bring himself to separate from the body right beside him, resting his head on Hongjoong’s chest. He didn’t have a heartbeat, and Seonghwa shivered at the similarities between Hongjoong’s sleeping form and a dead body, but he was beginning to grow used to that. Hongjoong was dead, but he was also more alive than anyone else Seonghwa had ever known. 

Instead, he chose to wait until Hongjoong woke up as well, taking advantage of this time alone with his thoughts to relax fully, allowing himself to indulge in the kind of affection he had always yearned for. Part of him struggled with the memory of everything he had admitted to Hongjoong the night before, but a larger part of him was grateful for it, because he wouldn’t have been able to hold it all in for much longer anyway. He hadn’t fully realized how desperate he was to be understood until now.

With Hongjoong’s blackout curtains blocking even the slightest sliver of sunlight from outside, telling time was impossible, and Seonghwa had no idea how long he lay there beside Hongjoong’s sleeping form until the vampire began to stir. When he first shifted, Seonghwa moved backwards, suddenly embarrassed that he had stayed for so long. 

But Hongjoong’s arms tightened again, refusing to let him pull away, and in the darkness all Seonghwa could make out was the subtle glittering of his eyes. “You are still here,” Hongjoong murmured, but he didn’t sound bothered in the slightest. “I am glad. I did not know if you would stay, once the drug was no longer in your system.” 

“You wouldn’t have let me go even if I wanted to,” Seonghwa whispered, trying to keep his breath from hitching, for the room was so silent that Hongjoong would be able to make out even the smallest gasp. 

“But you did not want to,” Hongjoong quipped right back, and Seonghwa bit his lip, always affronted by how easily Hongjoong could read him. His silence was enough of an answer, and he could hear the smirk in Hongjoong’s voice when he spoke again. “As I assumed. You do not need to feel embarrassed, darling. There is a place in this bed for you whenever you may want to use it.” 

At least the darkness concealed Seonghwa’s flaming cheeks, but his next words were more strangled than before, betraying his reaction anyway. “This is not happening again,” he asserted, but he didn’t do a great job of sounding intimidating. “I was just… tired.”

Hongjoong hummed, evidently not taking Seonghwa seriously in the slightest. “Whatever you say, darling,” he drawled, wrapping his arms tighter around Seonghwa’s waist, drawing a quiet gasp out of him. “My offer still stands.” 

Swallowing hard, Seonghwa chose to ask the question that had been lingering in his mind whenever the two of them were alone together. “What are we doing?” he asked, and his tone was quieter now, more solemn. “Nothing can ever come of this, you know that. Why do you act like - like you… I don’t know, like-”

“Like I have a romantic interest in you?” Hongjoong finished, and Seonghwa choked on air, eyelids flying open wide. “Perhaps that is the truth. Have you considered that I am not acting?” 

“But - I don’t understand,” Seonghwa spluttered, his head spinning as Hongjoong’s hold remained firm, keeping him close. “You’re immortal, and I’m a human. I know you’re part of the council, but… I can’t offer you anything. You can’t be serious.” 

Hongjoong clicked his tongue, nonchalant as ever. “And what if I am serious?” 

“Then I would say that you’re not very smart, for someone who’s been around for centuries.”

Chuckling softly, Hongjoong pressed one of his hands to the underside of Seonghwa’s chin, brushing those cold fingers against the sharp edge of his jaw. “I never claimed that I was smart,” he murmured, his tone dropping lower, his accent turning every word into a song of his own making. “But I am someone who knows what I want.” 

The subject of that last statement was obvious through implication alone, and Seonghwa knew he needed to get out of this bed for the sake of his own sanity. But he couldn’t bring himself to break free of Hongjoong’s arms either, their chests touching, one heart still beating and the other unmoving. 

Hongjoong must have felt the beat of Seonghwa’s heart as well, for he lowered his hand to press against the left side of Seonghwa’s chest, burning his skin even through his clothes. “I still need to play a song for you,” he said, the change in topic giving Seonghwa whiplash. “But I would also like to compose a melody to the beat of your heart, if you would allow me.” 

“What?” Seonghwa breathed, taken aback by the request. “I don’t - what do you mean?” 

“I would like to record the sound of your heartbeat, to use as the core of a composition,” Hongjoong restated, and Seonghwa realized that he was actually serious. “It would please me immensely if you would allow me to do that.” 

“Um… okay?” Seonghwa replied after a beat of silence, his brows drawn together in confusion. “What kind of composition?” 

Hongjoong considered this for a moment, his eyes sparkling with mirth. “What kind of instrument is your favorite?” he asked, turning the question right back around to Seonghwa, who blinked soundlessly. 

“I like piano,” he said eventually, the grand piano by the stairs on the first floor coming to mind. “And, um, the instruments that are usually played in an orchestra? I’m not very familiar with music, but there were a few times as a kid that I sat outside of the main concert hall in the city just to listen to whatever scraps of the songs carried out into the street. The orchestra was my favorite.” 

Cupping Seonghwa’s face in his hand, the other one still wrapped around his waist, Hongjoong nodded. “Then the song will be an orchestral piece. Do not worry, music has always been a passion of mine. I can play any instrument you ask me to.” 

“Play me a song, then?” Seonghwa smiled, and even though the room was too dark for him to make out Hongjoong’s face, he could feel the infectious energy of his returned grin. 

“Wait a moment,” he murmured, and only then did he finally retract his arms, rolling over to turn on the lamp. Immediately, the room was illuminated by its dim, warm light, and Hongjoong stood from the bed, crouching down to reach underneath it. He rummaged around under there for a few seconds, until he straightened again with a black instrument case in his hands. 

Seonghwa sat up, intrigued. He watched as Hongjoong opened the case and pulled out a violin, and even despite his lack of knowledge related to music, Seonghwa could tell that the instrument was special. Moving with practiced precision, Hongjoong nestled the violin against his neck, holding up the bow to the strings. 

He looked at Seonghwa, and then he started to play. 

The song was beautiful, cavernous and vast as it filled the room, striking Seonghwa in the heart immediately. He rested a hand against his chest, watching as Hongjoong’s fingers moved expertly against the strings, his other hand wielding the bow with an artful, timeless grace. Hongjoong was worlds better than any other musician Seonghwa had ever heard, but he supposed it made sense - he had been practicing for numerous lifetimes. 

Every note resonated all the way to Seonghwa’s soul, his eyes filling with tears the longer he listened, a visceral reaction that he had no control over. He didn’t bother to wipe his tears, allowing them to flow as free as the song that captured him within its lyrical thrall. The notes held both sorrow and hope, the song slow but entrancing, and Seonghwa held onto every sound for as long as he could. 

Even as the song drew to a close, the melody lived on within him, illuminating the craters that dented his bones and heart, filling even the darkest spaces with light. The hope held in Hongjoong’s song rejuvenated Seonghwa’s spirit, and he only wiped at his cheeks once the last note faded into silence, the bow held in Hongjoong’s slender hand coming to a pause at last. 

“That was beautiful,” Seonghwa murmured, his voice choked as he sniffled, blinking away the last of his tears. “I’ve never heard anything like that before. I can’t imagine that there is anyone else in the world who plays as well as you do.” 

Hongjoong smiled in response to the praise, setting his violin back down in its case along with the bow before closing it once more. “Well, I have had more practice than most,” he said, sliding the case underneath the bed. “The violin is one of my favorite instruments. I have always felt connected to it, along with the piano. Most of the classical pieces that humans learn to play were created during my lifetime, you know. After a few decades, I turned to my own compositions. What I just played for you was one of my personal favorites.” 

“I can see why,” Seonghwa breathed, still coming down from the serene high invoked by the music. “You - you really wrote that?” 

“Composition has to come from the soul,” Hongjoong explained, settling back down onto the bed, sitting beside Seonghwa once more. “Most of my compositions come from a place of both desperation and hope, for those are two emotions that I have grown quite comfortable living within over time. I have a hard time composing a song that captures an emotion I have not felt. This is why I would like to use your heartbeat as a baseline, because you invoke feelings within me that I did not know I could feel.” 

Somehow, he always managed to make Seonghwa’s face burn, even in the middle of a more serious conversation like this one. Coughing lightly into his fist, Seonghwa looked back at him. “Well, I’m okay with it. If you think that’ll help you make something new.” 

“Thank you, darling,” Hongjoong practically purred, accenting his words with a wink before looking towards the door. “You must be hungry. Shall we go downstairs?” 

Still reeling, Seonghwa inhaled a deep breath through his nose. “Sure,” he agreed, scrambling out of the bed at last, the ground cold against his bare feet. Hongjoong held the door for him, and the two of them padded down to the first floor, the shapes of their very souls beginning to alter after the events of the last twelve hours. 

~

Partway through the next night, Seonghwa and Hongjoong wound up on the couch by the fireplace, for the nights were beginning to grow chillier as autumn progressed. Hongjoong had retrieved a throw blanket for Seonghwa earlier, and now it was wrapped around his shoulders, locking his warmth inside. 

After their conversation in Hongjoong’s bedroom, Seonghwa felt more comfortable around the vampire than ever before, and the two of them spoke about all kinds of things as they sat together on the couch. None of the others were around, either in their rooms or not in the house at all, and the quiet was nice. 

Somehow, their discussion devolved into Hongjoong asking Seonghwa what various foods tasted like, for he didn’t remember that part of being human very well, not to mention the snacks and other foods that hadn’t actually been around during his time. Seonghwa tried his best to describe everything, but he had a feeling that Hongjoong didn’t actually care in the slightest about the answers to his questions; he was too busy smiling and staring at Seonghwa’s face instead. 

Pulling his blanket tighter around himself, Seonghwa blinked at Hongjoong, his lashes brushing over his cheeks whenever he closed his eyes. “You can feed from me now, if you want,” he said, biting back a yawn. “I don’t know how much longer I’ll be awake. My sleep schedule is all messed up, thanks to the nocturnal people I live with.” 

That made Hongjoong laugh, and he nodded, standing up and holding out a hand for Seonghwa to take. “Come on, then,” he said, but Seonghwa didn’t take it, shaking his head. 

“Can’t we just do it here,” he whined, looking up at Hongjoong through his lashes, his lips forming a slight pout. “I’m finally warm. The second I get up, I’ll be cold again. You wouldn’t understand, because you’re dead. Please? No one else is around anyway.” 

Hongjoong considered this for a moment before he sighed, and Seonghwa knew that he had won. “Fine,” Hongjoong relented, sitting down once more, firelight flickering over his features. “Only because we’re alone. You’ll feel warm with the drug in your system, so I’ll take you upstairs right after. Okay?”  

With a sweet smile, Seonghwa nodded. One good thing about Hongjoong’s infatuation with him was how easily he could use those feelings to his advantage - it was very rare that Hongjoong would actually say no to a request. Seonghwa shifted closer to him, tilting his head to the side to bare his neck, a familiar movement now after going through the same motions so many times. 

A cold hand pressed against his waist through the blanket as Hongjoong dipped his head, seeking out the scarred plane of Seonghwa’s neck. He didn’t linger there this time, and instead Seonghwa felt the sting of his fangs a second later, pain searing through his nerves until the drug in Hongjoong’s saliva numbed the sensation. His head fell back against the couch, his body melting into Hongjoong’s gentle touch, a stark contrast to the lethal sharpness of his fangs. 

He was gentle as he drank from Seonghwa’s neck, the steady pull of blood leaving his body lulling Seonghwa into a state of half-awareness. Feedings weren’t violent or fearsome as he had first expected, for the only time he truly felt himself relax was during these moments. He knew he was in good hands, that nothing would happen to him as long as Hongjoong was the one touching his waist, his neck. 

Once he was finished, Hongjoong removed his fangs from Seonghwa’s skin and licked over the wounds to heal them, although he kept his hands in place. Seonghwa blinked up at him, his movements sluggish, his mouth dry and his head spinning from the blood he had lost. “Water,” he croaked, grabbing onto Hongjoong’s wrist. “Can you get me water?” 

His words came out slurred and sloppy, but Hongjoong understood him despite that, his brows drawing down over his eyes. “Are you sure?” he asked, resting his palm against Seonghwa’s cheek. “I have juice upstairs, I can give you some then-”

Seonghwa shook his head. “Now,” he murmured, unable to hold up his head as he stayed limp against the couch. “Jus’ stay where I can see you. Don’ leave me alone.” 

“I will not leave you,” Hongjoong assured, patting Seonghwa’s cheek gently before pulling his hand back and rising to his feet. “I will be right back. You can watch me, okay?” Seonghwa nodded, and Hongjoong smiled at him before heading towards the kitchen. From Seonghwa’s current vantage point, he could see over the back of the couch towards the kitchen, visible from this part of the living room. 

He watched as Hongjoong entered the kitchen, the sound of the cupboard opening reaching his ears. At the same time, someone appeared from the staircase, the sound of his footsteps covered by the sound of Hongjoong’s tinkering in the kitchen, opening the fridge now to grab the pitcher of filtered water inside. Vampires had no need for clean drinking water, so Seonghwa used the filtered pitcher instead, choosing not to trust the water from the tap. 

Seonghwa allowed his head to loll back just enough to see who had come down the stairs, his eyes landing upon Wooyoung. He looked visibly upset, his eyes glassy and his skin more pale than normal. Even from afar, Seonghwa could tell that he was shaking, and his heart softened. He was too dazed to understand what was going on, but his first instinct was to provide comfort to the boy who always seemed to need it most. 

Just as Seonghwa was about to open his mouth and call Wooyoung’s name, the fledgling looked at him, and he noticed something strange. Wooyoung’s irises weren’t dark brown like they usually were - they were tinged with red. 

As soon as he saw Seonghwa there on the couch, his throat still bared and his body limp, Wooyoung darted forward. Something was wrong with him, Seonghwa could tell that much even in his current drugged state, and he made a distressed sound as he tried to move, his limbs failing to cooperate. Hongjoong whirled around at the noise, but Wooyoung was already standing before the couch, his movements dangerously fast. 

Seonghwa blinked, and then Wooyoung was on top of him, pinning him back against the couch as searing pain ripped through his neck. He didn’t understand where it was coming from at first, a strangled cry tearing from his throat as he tried to get away, his body refusing to cooperate. Blood started to pour down his neck, soaking the collar of his shirt, and only then did his drugged mind catch up. 

The pain of Wooyoung’s fangs drawing the blood from his veins was unbearable, so different from when Hongjoong drank from him. For those few seconds, Seonghwa feared that his head was going to be torn right off from his neck, frozen in terror as Wooyoung’s fangs tore at his flesh. This wasn’t supposed to happen - Wooyoung had always stayed away whenever his body craved blood, afraid of this exact occurrence. 

Worse than the pain was the fear, the complete lack of control Seonghwa felt as he was trapped inside of his own body, entirely helpless. He couldn’t move, he could hardly think straight, completely consumed by terror. This was Wooyoung - that was the only thought at the forefront of Seonghwa’s addled mind. 

This was Wooyoung, so why was he doing this?

In a flash of movement, Wooyoung was pulled off of Seonghwa’s limp form, and the entire thing had only gone on for a few seconds. Still, that was enough time for Seonghwa’s neck to be pouring blood, dark crimson as it dripped onto the couch, sinking into the deep red velvet cushions. 

Once Wooyoung’s presence was gone, Seonghwa curled in on himself completely, wrapping one arm around his legs as he pulled them to his chest. His other hand fumbled for his wound, feeling the flaps of flesh left behind, his fingers slick with blood immediately. Another weak cry tumbled right out of him, his entire body shaking violently as he hid his face, terrified. 

Loud voices echoed through the room, panicked shouting that only added to Seonghwa’s distress, and he shifted his hands to cover his ears instead. He squeezed his eyes shut, blocking out the sounds, trying to block out the pain. The blood was everywhere, and bile rose to the back of his throat, bitter with panic. He just wanted it to stop, all of it. His mind was too sluggish to make sense of it, his heart beating so fast that he feared it would give up eventually, every breath escaping his lips as a ragged gasp. 

The commotion all around him was too overwhelming, and he only caught snatches of words through his covered ears, desperate for it all to stop. 

“-were you thinking! San, you can never let him come down here before you when he is in this state!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know he was down here-”

“You cannot fix him by saying sorry. Sorry is not enough.”

Seonghwa recognized Hongjoong’s voice, and his trembling only increased at the rage in his tone, for he had never heard Hongjoong sound like that before. It scared him, and he was too dazed to understand that none of it was directed towards him. “Stop,” he whimpered, and only then did he realize that he was crying, confused sobs disrupting his words. “P-please.” 

Immediately, the yelling stopped. “Bring him upstairs. I do not want him near Seonghwa anymore,” Hongjoong muttered. Several other sounds followed his words, muted voices and footsteps, and when Hongjoong spoke again his voice was entirely different. “Seonghwa, it is only me now. Hongjoong. No one will hurt you, okay? But I need to see your neck, I can stop the bleeding.” 

Retreating further back against the cushions, Seonghwa squinted his eyes open and withdrew his hands from his ears, his vision blurred by tears. Hongjoong was crouching beside the couch, his face warped with concern. “I’m scared,” Seonghwa whispered, his voice unsteady and thick with pain. “What happened to m-me?” He looked down at his hands, and his body stiffened. 

His palms were slicked with blood, shining in the light of the fire, and suddenly he forgot how to breathe at all. “Get it off,” he whispered, teeth chattering as a result of his trembling frame, staring at the blood. “Get - get it off. Get it off me, please, get it off-“ 

“Hey, hey, shh,” Hongjoong said gently, reaching out to cover Seonghwa’s hands, concealing the blood from his view. “I will clean you up, I promise. I am so sorry. I never should have let this happen. You are going to be fine, okay? But you need to let me see your neck, so that I can help you. Can you do that for me?” 

Seonghwa sniffed and shook his head, pulling his hands out of Hongjoong’s grasp and covering his neck. “N-no,” he protested, shaking his head, dizziness momentarily warping his mind. “It hurts. Don’ touch it.” 

Hongjoong sighed, his expression pained. “I know it does, I know. I can make it stop hurting, okay? You are not in the right state of mind right now. You are scared, but I will not hurt you. I would never hurt you.” 

And deep down, Seonghwa knew that. But the pain was too much, clouding his thoughts, his entire body trembling with such force that he feared he would bite his own tongue off if he tried to speak. He felt disconnected from his own body, trapped in the clutches of the drug that still slowed down everything. “You won’t hurt me,” Seonghwa whispered, and Hongjoong nodded, finally touching Seonghwa’s wrist. 

His touch was gentle, nothing like the hard pressure of Wooyoung’s body, the sharp rip of his fangs. At first, Seonghwa tensed, but then his body leaned into the touch, suddenly desperate to be held. To be protected. He tried to raise himself up, but his arms were shaking too much to support his weight, and Hongjoong’s hands quickly moved under his arms to assist his movement. 

“Come here, you will be okay,” Hongjoong murmured, and that was all it took for Seonghwa to let himself be cared for. He dissolved into Hongjoong’s touch, his head lolling to the side, still gripped in the paralysis caused by both the drug and the pain. “I am going to use my saliva to slow some of the bleeding. I will have to touch your neck, but nothing is going to happen to you. This will help lessen the pain, I promise.” 

Seonghwa stiffened as Hongjoong’s face approached his neck, but all he felt was the soft press of a tongue, lapping away the blood and numbing the pain. After a few seconds, he pulled back again, frowning as he looked at the state of Seonghwa’s neck. “I will still bandage it for you,” he murmured, brushing his fingers lightly over what remained of the wound. “The bleeding has almost stopped, but the wound is still more open than I would like. May I carry you upstairs?” 

Clinging to Hongjoong’s shirt, Seonghwa mumbled an affirmative response, desperate to be safe within the walls of a familiar room. Although the two of them were alone in the living room once more, the wide open space terrified him, for anyone could appear just like Wooyoung had. 

Sliding his arms beneath Seonghwa’s body, one under his back and the other under his knees, Hongjoong lifted Seonghwa from the couch with ease, cradling him close as he headed for the staircase. Seonghwa turned himself towards Hongjoong’s chest, hiding his face there, blood smearing onto Hongjoong’s shirt. Seonghwa closed his eyes to avoid looking at it, trying to keep his panic at bay. His head was pounding, and his mouth felt like it was filled with cotton. 

The stairs creaked under Hongjoong’s feet, and then they were on the second floor, turning towards the part of the hallway where both of their bedrooms were. Hongjoong stopped at the first door, leading to his own room, slipping inside and closing the door behind them. “Lock it,” Seonghwa croaked, his tears seeping into the fabric of Hongjoong’s shirt. “Please.” 

Hongjoong did as he asked, and Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to relax until he heard the click of the lock, sealing the two of them inside. He was still trembling when Hongjoong set him down gently on the bed, brushing the hair out of his face, the corners of his mouth tight. “I have bandages in here, just one moment,” he murmured, leaving Seonghwa’s side to dig around inside one of the lower drawers of his bedside table. 

Unable to prop himself up with his arms, Seonghwa allowed his head to fall to the side against the pillows to watch Hongjoong, desperate to keep him in sight at all times. “Sorry,” he slurred after a moment, and Hongjoong paused in his search to look over at him, lips pressed together tight with concern. “For askin’ you for w-water. An’ saying that it was okay to do the feeding down… downstairs. ‘s my fault.” 

“No, please do not say that,” Hongjoong replied, finally grabbing the bandages he had been looking for along with a few other things and coming back to Seonghwa’s side. He almost looked like he was going to cry as well, his eyes shining as he looked at Seonghwa, and Seonghwa’s heart ached at the sight of him. “This is not your fault. I have always known that something like this could happen. I was careless - you are my responsibility, and I let you down. I am so sorry.”

All Seonghwa could do was cry, tasting salt on his tongue as he squeezed his eyes shut, wishing that none of this had happened at all. Hongjoong started to murmur words to him again, something about how he was going to use gauze to stop the bleeding, but Seonghwa was hardly listening. 

The mattress shifted, and then Hongjoong was right beside Seonghwa, pulling him back into his arms, his touch familiar and gentle and so full of care that it only made Seonghwa cry harder. Hongjoong shushed him softly, pressing his lips to the crown of Seonghwa’s head as he brought a piece of gauze to the wound, applying just enough pressure to soak up the remaining blood. 

Seonghwa whimpered at the flare of pain, and Hongjoong began to run his fingers through Seonghwa’s hair to calm him, switching from murmuring soft words to singing a simple tune. His voice was smooth and comforting, and after a few moments Seonghwa realized that he was singing the same song that he had played on violin. The melody calmed his soul, and it soothed his body in turn, the shaking finally coming to a stop as he fell limp in Hongjoong’s arms. 

After a full feeding, the drug from Hongjoong’s saliva didn’t wear off for about an hour, and time seemed to warp as Seonghwa surrendered himself to Hongjoong’s care. The gauze had to be changed a few times until the bleeding finally stopped, and then Hongjoong set about cleaning away the blood, laying Seonghwa down on the bed for a moment as he retrieved a bottle of water from the stash he kept in his room beside the juice boxes. 

He doused another piece of gauze in water and carefully wiped away the blood that had trailed down Seonghwa’s neck, tacky now as it dried. Seonghwa was numb to the pain by now, hardly reacting when it flared, blinking sluggishly up at Hongjoong all the while. Hongjoong never stopped singing, going through a few other melodies, but he always returned back to that first one. 

Once the blood was cleared away from his hands as well, the drug was beginning to wear off, and Seonghwa started to tremble again as his mind finally was able to make sense of what had happened. He tensed, looking up at Hongjoong, and the awareness in his eyes now must have been evident, for Hongjoong’s expression shifted into one of pained resignation. “Oh, Seonghwa,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I am so sorry. I failed to protect you.” 

“I - I wanted to g-get away,” Seonghwa said, his words broken by his hitching breaths as his panic built, no longer numb to the world around him. “I tried to m-move, but I couldn’t. I was trapped inside of my own body, and it hurt s-so much, but I couldn’t - I couldn’t-” He gasped for air, his hand raising to his wound, fingers shaking violently. 

Before he could touch it, however, Hongjoong caught his hand and held it tight between his own, pressing his lips to Seonghwa’s knuckles. “Try not to touch it,” he said, his own voice strained as he watched Seonghwa dissolve further into his panic, tense lines visible along the plane of his typically smooth face. “The bleeding has stopped. I just need to bandage it for you.” 

He waited for Seonghwa to nod, and then he released his hand to cup his cheek instead, so gentle that Seonghwa’s tears only fell faster. “I know it was scary for you,” he murmured, and his guilt was evident. “I never should have allowed that to happen. Wooyoung will remain separate from you now, I promise. He cannot be trusted until he can control himself.” 

But that didn’t make Seonghwa feel better, his heart aching terribly at the mere thought of Wooyoung. “He didn’t mean it,” he whispered, sniffling as he wiped at his face, his eyes swollen halfway shut. “His eyes… they were turning red, I saw it when I first came down the stairs. Something w-was wrong with him.” 

Hongjoong cursed under his breath, and Seonghwa’s eyes widened, for he had never heard Hongjoong curse before. “He has not ingested a drop of blood in days. Fledglings need to feed, for otherwise they are at risk of turning feral. Do you know what that means?” 

Swallowing hard, Seonghwa shook his head, although he had an idea in his mind purely based on the word alone. “If a fledgling does not ingest a certain amount of blood at regular intervals, they lose their grip on their humanity. Bloodthirst takes over, and they will feed on any source of blood in their vicinity. When Wooyoung gets close to that point, he snaps and drains numerous blood bags at once. But this time, you were there, and he went after you instead.” 

A shiver spread over Seonghwa’s skin, and a furrow gathered between Hongjoong’s brow as he rubbed his thumb over Seonghwa’s knuckles. “He didn’t mean it,” Seonghwa repeated, but now the words held an undertone of relief even as he cried harder, for he knew for sure that it was the truth. “He’s - oh god, he’s probably so upset. He didn’t mean to do it, Hongjoong. It’s n-not his fault-” 

“I know,” Hongjoong murmured, but his eyes darkened as he shook his head. “But it still never should have happened. I will need to have a word with San, for this is his mistake.” 

That only served to make Seonghwa feel more anxious, pressing his lips together as his heart raced within the confines of his chest, still beating too fast. He struggled to intake enough air with each gasp, his head spinning. He couldn’t bring himself to stop crying, not when he felt so powerless, blood leaking sluggishly from his neck again as he grew more and more distressed. 

“Seonghwa, listen to me,” Hongjoong said, and the words were a bit frantic. “You need to calm down. You are going to hurt yourself worse, you have to rest.” But Seonghwa couldn’t turn off his panic so easily, not when the direness of the situation was finally beginning to sink in, his chest burning as he wheezed for breath. 

More blood spilled from his wound, trailing down his neck and contributing to his belated terror, his delayed fear finally catching up to him now that he was able to think more clearly. He could think of nothing but the feeling of Wooyoung’s fangs in his neck, his body pinning Seonghwa to the couch. Panic obstructed his throat, a massive lump that blocked his airway, his eyes bulging as he choked on nothing but air. 

Cold hands grabbed him beneath his arms, pulling him into a seated position and rubbing his back, but he still couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t panicked like this in years, not since he was a child, and he had forgotten just how scary it was. His vision started to go dark at the edges, and he scrambled to grab onto Hongjoong’s shirt, gripping the fabric tight in his trembling, clammy hands. 

“Shh, you need to breathe, darling,” Hongjoong murmured, his lips right beside Seonghwa’s ear. “You will make yourself sick otherwise. I am going to touch your chest, to help you, is that okay?” 

Through his panic, Seonghwa managed an unsteady nod, and Hongjoong’s hand found his chest a moment later. He rubbed his palm right over Seonghwa’s heart, the fabric of his shirt the only buffer between their skin. Somehow, the touch managed to sooth his aching heart, and Hongjoong’s stream of comforting words never paused either. “Shh, it’s okay. Breathe, my dear. This will all be okay. We are going to figure it out, I promise. But you need to breathe.” Over and over again, the words left his lips, settling over Seonghwa’s mind, banishing the fear-induced conclusions he had jumped to so quickly. 

Slowly, he began to regain control over his breathing, some of the dizziness fading away. His heart still raced, however, and fatigue crashed over him as he rested his head against Hongjoong’s shoulder, unable to hold himself up. “Under my shirt,” he murmured, his voice breaking. “Please. Want you to - to touch my skin. ‘m burning.” 

“Shh, I know,” Hongjoong said, and he did as Seonghwa asked, his fingers brushing the bottom hem of his shirt before sliding underneath. Immediately, his cold hands made Seonghwa shiver, but the contact felt nice against his burning skin as Hongjoong pressed his hand over Seonghwa’s heart once more, this time with no barrier. “Your heart is racing, love. It is not good for you.” 

Seonghwa nodded, his face sticky with tears as he pressed his nose into Hongjoong’s neck, focusing on his touch rather than the thoughts circling around in his mind. “I know,” he replied, Hongjoong’s shirt still clenched in his fists. “I’m trying.” 

“That is all I ask,” Hongjoong appeased, continuing to rub Seonghwa’s skin, the exact kind of physical comfort that he needed in order to calm down. In the past, whenever he had descended into a panic attack while at the orphanage, no one had helped him like this. Every time, he had panicked until the point of unconsciousness, strangled by his own inability to inhale properly. 

He closed his eyes, forcing himself to inhale deep, deeper than he thought himself capable. Soft sobs still hitched his breath, interrupting his attempts at regaining control over his panic, but slowly, he started to regain his grip on his own composure. Hongjoong’s hand kept him grounded, and he started breathing in the same rhythm as the hand circling around his heart, allowing the comfort of the touch to guide him. 

Once he felt okay enough to speak again, he squinted his eyes back open, his field of vision limited by how swollen they had become. “W-what about Wooyoung?” he asked, for he couldn’t get the boy out of his mind. 

Hongjoong shushed him gently, wrapping his arms tighter around Seonghwa’s shaking form, keeping his hand pressed over his heart. “It is so typical of you to ask about him, when you are the one who is still upset,” he murmured, wiping away Seonghwa’s tears with the pad of his thumb. “Wooyoung will be okay. Will you please let me bandage your wound, now, and we can talk about it? You are bleeding again.” 

Inhaling another deep breath, Seonghwa nodded, sitting up fully as Hongjoong pulled away and reached for the first aid supplies once more. He dampened another patch of gauze with water, bringing it to Seonghwa’s neck and clearing away the fresh blood. When he pulled the gauze away, it was stained scarlet, and Seonghwa’s stomach twisted at the sight. 

“I’ve always hated blood,” he said idly, blinking down at the gauze as Hongjoong set it down on a piece of plastic, so that the blood wouldn’t seep into the comforter. “I only have this - this one memory, from when I was a baby, before I wound up at the orphanage. I don’t even know if it’s real, or if my mind created it based on what little I know about my past - I don’t even think you can really call it a memory. It’s more of a… feeling. I just remember being covered in blood from head to toe. It was so sticky, and it smelled like metal, and ever since then I just - I hate it.” 

Holding a roll of bandages in his hand, Hongjoong began to unroll the outermost layer, a frown curving his lips. “The brain can hold onto traumatic experiences like that,” he explained, bringing the roll of bandages to Seonghwa’s neck. “In my experience, the brain will either hold onto those memories, or repress them altogether. But you were so young at the time, a feeling would likely be all your brain could recall. That doesn’t mean it is not real.” 

Considering this, Seonghwa watched Hongjoong’s arms as he worked, gently wrapping the roll of bandages around Seonghwa’s neck. He kept the pressure light, just enough to staunch any remaining bleeding without being uncomfortable. “Even though Wooyoung wasn’t in the right state of mind, he’ll remember exactly what happened, won’t he?” he asked, voice small, and Hongjoong nodded. 

“Yes. He was likely in a situation similar to you, where his instincts took over despite the protests of his mind. I can assure you, he did not want to do that to you. That is why having a fledgling around a human is such a risk, because even the best intentions do not always matter.” Hongjoong pressed his lips together into a tight line, clearly more upset by all of this than he was letting on. 

He tore the bandage after wrapping it around Seonghwa’s neck a few times, and then he secured it with medical tape before letting go. Seonghwa reached up to touch his neck, his fingers meeting the soft bandages instead. “That’s horrible,” he breathed, guilt churning in his chest, even though he was the one covered in bandages. “Can… can you go check on him? And let me know how he is?” 

“I was planning to do that regardless,” Hongjoong admitted as he focused on returning the supplies to the first aid kit, gathering up the soiled gauze. “But not yet. I do not want to leave you right now.” 

Seonghwa swallowed, biting down on his bottom lip. “It’s okay, I can be okay on my own for a little while. You don’t have to stay just because of me-” 

“You do not understand,” Hongjoong interrupted, and he latched the first aid kit before looking up once more. Seonghwa’s jaw went slack when he noticed the tears in Hongjoong’s eyes, the slight trembling of his lips. “I said that I do not want to leave you. I do not want you out of my sight, right now. I thought that I lost you, for a moment. If his fangs had hit your neck in a different place…” He didn’t finish his sentence, likely because he didn’t want to scare Seonghwa, but his point was evident. 

This was the first time Seonghwa had ever seen him like this, and he was speechless, his lips parting in surprise. All along, Hongjoong had treated him with endless care, but this was the first time that it was clear how much he mattered to the vampire sitting before him. Seonghwa had never mattered to anyone before, not like this. 

No one had ever cared about if he lived or died before. 

He stared at Hongjoong, dumbfounded, and he watched as a tear rolled down the vampire’s face when he blinked. “Oh,” Seonghwa murmured, because he couldn’t think of anything else to say.

Oh. 

All of those feelings that Hongjoong claimed to feel for Seonghwa… he had never been bluffing. And the ache in Seonghwa’s chest when he looked at Hongjoong didn’t come from a place of indifference either. 

He would be a fool to think that Hongjoong was the only one harboring those kinds of feelings. 

Hongjoong’s lips lifted into a tremulous smile, his eyes shining with tears. “Yeah,” he breathed, his throat moving around a swallow. “Oh.” 

“You didn’t lose me,” Seonghwa said, because he couldn’t bear to see Hongjoong like this. “I’m right here, and I’m fine. You saved me.” 

Shaking his head, Hongjoong pressed the heel of his palm to his forehead. “I should never have left you on the couch. Furthermore, I never should have fed from you in the living room. I was careless, and I gambled with your safety, which is unforgivable. I am deeply sorry, Seonghwa. I told you that I would always keep you safe, and I failed in that today.” 

His guilt was palpable, souring the air around the two of them, and Seonghwa didn’t hesitate to reach forward and take Hongjoong’s hand. “Look at me,” he said, and he didn’t continue until Hongjoong did so, their eyes meeting. “I forgive you, okay? What happened was… it was scary, and it hurt, but I’m okay. No one who has tears to spare for someone else is unforgivable, I really do believe that. I never blamed you, but I forgive you anyway, if that’s what you need to hear.” 

Hongjoong blinked, and then he ducked his head in a slight bow, his voice strangled. “Thank you,” he murmured, the words completely sincere. “That… that means more to me than you could ever know.” 

“I know what bad people are like, and you aren’t one of them.” Seonghwa shrugged, but deep down he was grateful that he had said the right thing. He couldn’t bear to see Hongjoong cry - something about that broke his heart. “There have been a lot of people in my life who have hurt me on purpose. But that isn’t what happened today, okay? You didn’t want for me to get hurt, and Wooyoung couldn’t control it either. Bad things are bound to happen, but neither of you are bad people.” 

When Hongjoong looked up at him again, Seonghwa offered a small smile. “Thanks for bandaging my neck,” he said, brushing his fingers over the bandages again. “It barely hurts anymore.” 

That wasn’t entirely true, but the relief on Hongjoong’s face was worth the small lie. He squeezed Seonghwa’s hand in return, blinking away the last of his tears. “I’ll go check on Wooyoung,” he promised. “Just… in a little while. I want to stay here with you for now,”

“That’s okay with me,” Seonghwa murmured, his heart warm. 

~

Eventually, Hongjoong left his room to check on Wooyoung, leaving Seonghwa alone inside. Now that he had recovered from his earlier panic, Seonghwa wasn’t so afraid of being alone, and he flopped back against Hongjoong’s pillows with a weary sigh. Hongjoong had given him a new shirt, for his old one had been stained with blood. His neck ached with every small movement he made, and he had to resist the urge to keep touching it after Hongjoong had told him not to. 

All he could think about was Wooyoung, guilt swirling in his chest despite the fact that he was the one with bandages wrapped around his neck. He knew Wooyoung well enough by now to know that he would be distraught after coming back to his senses, and he feared for how this would set back any progress he had made in the last few months. 

When Hongjoong returned, Seonghwa turned to face the door straight away, ready to ask him for every detail of Wooyoung’s condition. However, the words never made it out of his mouth, because his attention fell to the plate of steaming food in Hongjoong’s hands instead. “Is that…” he trailed off, pressing his lips together as his emotions surged yet again. 

“He made this for you,” Hongjoong confirmed, coming closer to the bed and setting down the plate on the bedside table. Seonghwa’s stomach rumbled as the smell wafted towards him, for he had been so distracted after everything that he had forgotten about his own hunger. “When I left here, I heard sounds in the kitchen, and I found him down there. San said that he had been planning this complicated meal to make for you sometime this week, but he made it today instead. He did not even realize I was there at first - he was so desperate to make it perfect.”

Every word struck Seonghwa straight in the chest, and he frowned as he looked down at the plate, his heart aching. “Oh, poor thing,” he whispered, unable to feel any anger towards him. How could he, when he knew Wooyoung’s heart? “Was he upset?”

Hongjoong sighed, his expression stressed in a way it hadn’t been before. “Yes,” he admitted, brushing his bangs away from his face. “He was not willing to talk to me about it, but I could see it just the same. He devoted the last few hours to making this for you, because you are the only thing on his mind. The entire time, he has been crying.” 

Staring down at the plate, Seonghwa’s own eyes filled with tears. The meal was beautiful, compiled of all of Seonghwa’s favorite things that Wooyoung had cooked for him over the past few weeks, presented with meticulous care. “He wasn’t in control,” Seonghwa murmured, a lump of emotion lodged in his throat. “I know that. Did you tell him that I know that?” 

“I did, but you must understand, he will not forgive himself so easily. You matter so much to him, Seonghwa. You reminded him of his humanity when he needed it most. Hurting you is something that he will not recover from so quickly, although it pains me to say it.” And Hongjoong was right, no matter how upsetting his words were. 

Seonghwa blinked, and a tear rolled down his cheek, his eyes burning all over again. At this rate, he didn’t think he would ever stop crying, and as he looked down he noticed something else. “Did he give you this?” Seonghwa asked, reaching for a small brown envelope tucked beneath the plate. 

“Yes. As soon as he finished cooking for you, he wrote something and sealed it in that envelope,” Hongjoong replied, watching as Seonghwa grabbed the envelope, squinting through his blurred vision to read the writing on the outside. “I do not know what he wrote, but it mattered to him that I give it to you.” 

On the front of the envelope, the words For Seonghwa had been written in a shaky hand. Biting his lip, Seonghwa turned it over to find more writing on the other side: I’m sorry. 

“You should eat the food before you open it,” Hongjoong encouraged, nudging Seonghwa gently in the ribs. “While it is warm, since he worked so hard on it, and I know you must be hungry. Eat, and then read what he wrote for you.” Begrudgingly, Seonghwa nodded and set the envelope aside, his stomach rumbling at the aroma of the food in front of him. Hongjoong was right - he was ravenous, and the food looked wonderful. 

Going for the meat first, Seonghwa savored each bite, saliva pooling under his tongue in response to the complex layers of flavor. Wooyoung had cooked for him several times since that first time they had spoken in the kitchen, but the food Seonghwa was eating now was different; he could taste the intentions behind every bite, the amount of care that had been poured into the creation of each part of the meal. He wanted to thank Wooyoung, to provide him with the physical touch he always craved, but now that he considered it, he knew that wouldn’t be possible anymore. 

“You won’t let me be alone with him anymore, will you?” Seonghwa asked, his voice small as he swallowed another bite of food. “That was your original intention anyway, I know, but after this…” 

Hongjoong was still sitting beside Seonghwa on the bed, watching him eat, but now he seemed to deflate. “That is correct,” he admitted, and Seonghwa’s grip tightened around his chopsticks. “Being around him alone is dangerous, I told you that at the start. But when I noticed how much your presence helped him, I did not uphold that condition with the correct amount of vigilance. I am sorry, but now you have seen why fledglings are so dangerous to humans. Keeping you two apart is crucial for both of your sakes.” 

Pausing with the chopsticks raised halfway to his mouth, Seonghwa stared back at Hongjoong. “But… but we can still spend time together with someone else there, right?” he asked, trying to ignore the sudden bitter taste in his mouth. He knew that Hongjoong was merely being mindful of his safety, but he still felt a bit like a scolded child. 

“Yes, but-” Hongjoong cut himself off, breaking their eye contact as he chose to stare forward at the wall instead, and Seonghwa’s heart sank. He had already suspected what was coming next, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. “I want someone else to be with the two of you when you are together. Not simply in the same room, but right beside you. And I do not think that there should be any kind of physical contact between the two of you, at least not right now. You are both hurt and upset; such emotions will only add to the volatile nature of a bond between a fledgling and a human.” 

He was right, as much as Seonghwa hated to hear it, bringing the chopsticks to his mouth and chewing slowly. Now, it tasted like nothing more than sawdust in his mouth. “That’s only going to make his time as a fledgling even harder,” Seonghwa murmured, recalling how Wooyoung’s entire face had lit up that first time their skin had touched. 

“He is the one who suggested it,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa froze mid-chew, taken aback by the words. “But even if that were not the case, your safety is the one thing I will not make exceptions for. Not anymore. What happened today could have ended a lot worse than it did, we are all aware of that.” 

Swallowing, Seonghwa sighed, his shoulders slumping. “Okay,” he said after a brief silence, because he was powerless to protest when his neck was wrapped in bandages. “But once he isn’t a risk to my safety anymore - the second he’s not considered a fledgling - you can’t stop me from making up for all of the affection he’s now going to be deprived of. Who knows, I might not have time for you anymore, when that time comes.” 

He only said that last sentence to draw a reaction from Hongjoong, and he was not disappointed. Hongjoong’s jaw fell open, his eyes going wide, as if that was the worst news he could possibly receive. “I’m kidding,” Seonghwa clarified quickly, biting back a smile. “I know I can give you a hard time sometimes, but… I like you, Hongjoong.” 

“You are… not joking?” Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa huffed a small laugh. 

“Not joking,” he confirmed, his cheeks growing warm now. “Not joking at all.” 

Hongjoong smiled at that, a real smile, both of his fangs showing. So much had changed since that first day, when Seonghwa had flinched back at the sight of those fangs, because now that smile filled him with nothing but fondness. “I like you too, Seonghwa,” he said, and an immediate blush rose to Seonghwa’s cheeks. He looked back down at his plate then, finishing the last of the food, his heart racing. 

When he was done, he set down the chopsticks on the empty plate and picked up the envelope once more, holding the thick brown paper in his hands. He scanned over the shaky handwriting again, sobering up immediately. He assumed that Wooyoung had written him some sort of note, and his mind was entirely blank as he considered what words he might find inside. He had never received a note before, and he broke the seal of the envelope with shaky hands. 

The bed shifted as Hongjoong moved away, allowing Seonghwa to read the note on his own. He stood up and busied himself with tidying up his room, which was silly considering that the space was already spotless, but Seonghwa appreciated the gesture nonetheless. 

Opening the upper flap of the envelope, Seonghwa pulled out the folded paper inside, holding it in his hands and taking note of the careful lines of each fold. Even that had been executed with care, indicative of Wooyoung’s pure intent. Inhaling through his nose, Seonghwa kept his lips pressed together as he set down the envelope and unfolded the letter itself, written on lined paper and filled with words written by that same tremulous hand. 

Dear Seonghwa,

I am so sorry. I don’t know what else to say other than that, because I did a terrible thing and I know I did and I can’t take it back and I’m just so sorry. I didn’t mean to do it, I hope that Hongjoong told you that. I know it doesn’t make a difference, but I didn’t mean it. I didn’t mean to hurt you. 

Are you scared of me? It’s okay if you are. I even think that maybe you should be. But the selfish part of me also really hopes that you aren’t, because I don’t want anything to change. Being around you has changed my life, I hope you know that. I’m sorry if I didn’t make it clear enough before now. I’m sorry for a lot of things, and the more I think about it the more I think that I have no right to write you this letter at all, but I still hope you’ll read it anyway.

I want to tell you that I would never have come downstairs if I had known you were there. I was upset, because I was having a hard time drinking blood, and I tore open the blood bags San tried to give me because I didn’t want him to force me to drink them. He was just trying to help me, but I sometimes get into this state of mind where I can’t bear to let myself be helped, and I yelled at him. Sorry, I know that doesn’t make sense. 

I went downstairs after that, to get more blood bags, because I knew I had to drink and I felt bad for being mean to San. He didn’t do anything wrong. No one else did, only me. I was upset, and then when I saw you suddenly nothing else mattered, because my body was desperate for blood after not having any for days. That was my fault. This is all my fault, and I don’t deserve for you to forgive me. I know that, and it’s okay if you never do. I hurt you, after all. I could have killed you. 

What I’m going to say now is really selfish, and I’m sorry, and if you hate me then I really don’t blame you. You owe me nothing, but I just have to say it anyway. Please don’t stop treating me the way you always have. I hurt you because I’m a vampire, but please… keep treating me like I’m a human. 

Please don’t be scared of me. I didn’t mean it. 

Love, Wooyoung

P.S. Sometimes when I look at the feather you gave me the first time I met you, I wonder if you’re really an angel, and if it actually came from your own wings. 

By the time Seonghwa finished reading, tears were streaming down his cheeks, dripping from the ledge of his jaw. On the paper itself, he could see the places where Wooyoung’s tears had warped the ink, and he took care not to let his own do the same. He didn’t want to ruin this letter, because it meant the world to him, despite the pain contained in the words. 

He read it over two more times, and then he folded it up once more, tucking it back into the envelope and clutching it to his chest. The contents had made him cry, but at the same time, his heart was full. He hated to know how upset Wooyoung was over everything that had happened, but he was also so grateful that the boy had confided in him. 

Because Seonghwa didn’t hate him, and he hoped that if he conveyed that truth to Wooyoung now, he would believe it. “Hongjoong,” he said, and Hongjoong turned around immediately, his eyes softening as he took in Seonghwa’s state after reading the letter. “Can you find an envelope and paper for me?”

“So you can write him back?” Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa nodded. 

“I do want to see him, but I think it might be best to wait a little while,” he admitted. “Not because I’m afraid of him, but because I fear how my body may react to him right now, when the wounds are still fresh. But in the meantime, I still want to say what I can to make him feel better. So, can you help me?” 

Hongjoong wasted no time heading for the door, obeying Seonghwa’s request without protest, but he halted before turning the doorknob as he looked towards the bed. “You are remarkable,” he said in earnest, his gaze burning Seonghwa’s skin. “You are the one who was hurt, but you care more about the pain Wooyoung is feeling. I have never met anyone quite like you.” 

Warmth rose to Seonghwa’s cheeks at that, and he shrugged, unsure of how to handle the attention. “I don’t think I’m anything special,” he replied, although he knew Hongjoong would disagree. “I just think that if he’s hurting and I can help, then the choice is simple.” 

“I understand, and I commend you, but please… do not forget your own hurt. Do not leave yourself behind.” Hongjoong’s gaze dropped to Seonghwa’s neck for a moment, and the wound sparked with pain in response. 

“I won’t,” Seonghwa promised, and a small smile curled his lips. “With you around, I don’t think I ever could. You wouldn’t let me.” 

Hongjoong returned the smile as he nodded once, and then he was gone, closing the door behind him. After a few minutes, he returned with the items Seonghwa had asked for - a sheet of lined paper, a brown envelope just like the one Wooyoung had used, and a fountain pen. Leaning against the bedside table, Seonghwa wrote his own letter, and although he had never done this before the words came easily. 

Dear Wooyoung, 

There are a lot of things I want to say to you, and I promise to say it all in person too, once I’ve healed more. But I want you to know that I’m not scared of you. I don’t think I ever could be. I knew you didn’t mean to do it, even while it was happening. It was scary, but that doesn’t mean I’m scared of you. 

I know I can’t give you the same affection as before, but I will still treat you the way I always have. Because to me, you’re still the same person, okay? I know you weren’t in control, that it wasn’t your choice, and I know you feel terrible, and that tells me everything I need to know about your heart. I could never hate you, Wooyoung. Never. 

Thank you for the food. It was really delicious, and I was so hungry. But please take care of yourself, too - holding all of your guilt inside is not a good thing. Let San help you, I’m sure he’s worried about you. The best thing you can do to leave this behind is to keep trying your hardest to adapt to being a vampire. I know you can do it, okay? But you have to believe in yourself, too. 

I’m not mad, and I’m not scared of you, and I don’t hate you. I promise. 

Love, Seonghwa

P.S. I think it’s more likely that I was returning one of your feathers to you.

Once he was finished, he folded up the paper carefully just like Wooyoung had done, sliding it into the envelope and sealing it. On the outside, he wrote Wooyoung’s name, staring down at it for a moment before holding it out for Hongjoong to take. “Can you bring this to him?” 

Hongjoong accepted the envelope, and Seonghwa released a weary sigh as he left the room, sliding beneath Hongjoong’s comforter. He could have gone to his own room, but he couldn’t forget what Hongjoong had said earlier, how he couldn’t bear to be separated from Seonghwa after almost losing him. 

Choosing not to leave, Seonghwa instead wrapped the blanket around himself and curled up underneath it, pressing his face into the pillow as his breathing evened out. He was exhausted, and it didn’t take long for his eyelids to grow heavy, the world blurring as his mind’s desire for sleep surged. 

The door opened, and he blinked sluggishly at the figure that entered the room, immediately recognizing Hongjoong’s outline. For several seconds he just stood there, staring at the bed, before he turned off the lights and moved to the other side of the bed. Hongjoong slid under the comforter as well, even though he didn’t need its warmth. 

“We shouldn’ keep sleeping together,” Seonghwa mumbled once Hongjoong was settled, his voice disrupting the silence that filled the room. “Probably not a good idea.” 

He was still facing the door, turned away from Hongjoong, and he shivered when a cold hand found his waist and rested there. “Why not?” Hongjoong asked, shifting closer, eliminating the distance between their bodies. “I do not see a problem.” 

“You’re full of shit,” Seonghwa deadpanned, and Hongjoong chuckled softly, his mouth now right beside Seonghwa’s ear. He shifted his arm again now to encircle Seonghwa’s waist, his chest flush to Seonghwa’s back. 

“We are only sleeping,” Hongjoong countered, and Seonghwa couldn’t deny how comfortable their current position was, the feeling of being so close to the person he trusted most. His body had always craved this degree of closeness, and now that he wasn’t deprived of it any longer, he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. “There is nothing wrong with that.” 

Seonghwa smiled to himself, his eyes closing once more. “Sleeping. In the same bed. And you are not staying on your side, either.” 

“The bed is mine. I do not have a side,” Hongjoong replied, his arm constricting a bit further. “I like to be close to you. After what happened, I do not want to let go of you. Is that so wrong?” 

Exhaling softly, Seonghwa lowered his own hand to touch Hongjoong’s arm, resting it there. “I guess not,” he whispered, sleep slurring his words now. “But if you don’t let me sleep, I’m g’nna leave.” 

Hongjoong stopped talking after that, but his touch was still ever present, bringing Seonghwa all of the comfort he needed to fall asleep. Truthfully, he hadn’t been sure if he would be able to sleep after everything, and if he had been alone he certainly would have woken throughout the night, trapped in the grip of his own nightmares. But with Hongjoong holding him close like this, his sleep was dreamless. 

~

As the sun set the following night, Seonghwa finally emerged from the safety of Hongjoong’s room, shuffling downstairs with Hongjoong following right behind. Hongjoong had already told him that Wooyoung and San were up on the third floor, and as they stepped into the living room, only Yunho and Mingi were there. 

The two vampires turned around as soon as they heard the approaching footsteps, their expressions softening at the sight of Seonghwa, both of them glancing at the bandages around his neck. “How are you feeling?” Yunho asked, shifting over to make room for Seonghwa to sit on the couch beside him. 

A kit of medical supplies rested on the small coffee table in front of the couch, for although Hongjoong had done his best, he wasn’t nearly as knowledgeable as Yunho when it came to the treatment of injuries. Seonghwa sat down next to Yunho, and Hongjoong perched on the arm of the couch beside Mingi, his gaze never trailing away from Seonghwa. 

“I feel okay,” Seonghwa answered, and it was the truth. Now that some time had passed, he had come to terms with what had happened, and his emotions were more stable than they had been initially. “My neck still hurts, though. Hongjoong said that you could help with that.” 

Yunho nodded, gesturing to the medical supplies on the table. “Yes, of course I can,” he replied, his voice warm, bringing Seonghwa immediate comfort. He understood why Yunho had sacrificed so much to be a doctor despite his status - he possessed an air of calm that washed over the room, quelling Seonghwa’s anxiety. “I’m going to unwrap the bandages first, just to see what the wound looks like.” 

Tilting his head to the side to allow Yunho easier access, Seonghwa held his breath as the bandages were removed, wincing whenever the pain flared. Yunho murmured apologies throughout, and once the bandage was removed, he discarded it inside of a plastic bag. 

“I’m going to put on a pair of gloves to examine your neck, okay?” Yunho informed, and Seonghwa nodded, pressing his lips together to keep them from trembling. He wasn’t used to being taken care of like this, and it left him feeling unbalanced. 

After pulling on a pair of gloves, Yunho raised his hands to Seonghwa’s neck and began to inspect the wound, pressing lightly on the surrounding skin. The coldness of his skin was refreshing, and he talked while he worked in order to keep the atmosphere relaxed. “What kind of pain are you still experiencing?” 

“Um, nothing too bad. Just some aches when I move my neck, that kind of thing. But it definitely feels better than it did yesterday,” Seonghwa answered, and Yunho hummed in understanding. 

He pulled his hands away once he was done, a gentle smile lighting up his face. “It’s healing really well,” he informed, and relief swelled in Seonghwa’s chest. “I’m going to bandage it up for you again, and I’ll also put some ointment over the wound to prevent infection, but there shouldn’t be any issues. Hongjoong did a good job keeping it clean.” 

Seonghwa glanced over at Hongjoong at that, and they shared a smile. “It was my pleasure,” he said, bowing his head. 

Something occurred to Seonghwa then, however, and he looked at Yunho once more. “What do we do about feedings while it heals?” he asked, for he hadn’t considered how this would impact their arrangement until now. His mind had been too overcome with other concerns initially. 

“Oh, that is not a concern,” Hongjoong interjected before Yunho could give a response, shaking his head. “I can drink from blood bags in the meantime. Do not concern yourself with that.” 

Still, Seonghwa waited for Yunho to respond as well, for he didn’t want to completely abandon his purpose here if another solution was viable. “The neck is not the only place a vampire can drink from,” Yunho explained, holding out his own arm and pulling up his sleeve to expose his wrist. “The wrist works just as well. Also the inner thigh, the crook of the elbow, and a few other spots are most ideal. I can name more, if you-” 

At the mention of the inner thigh, Seonghwa’s face turned beet red, and he looked down at his lap quickly. “Um, no that’s okay, thanks,” he blurted, for he was afraid of where else Yunho might decide to mention next. “The wrist is fine. That way, I can still keep up my end of the contract.” 

“The contract is not important,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa had already suspected that he would say that. “I will not drink your blood again so soon. Not for a few days, at least.” 

He wasn’t going to budge on that, so Seonghwa just sighed and nodded. He tilted his neck to the side so that Yunho could wrap fresh bandages around his wound, and by the time that was finished, he felt much better. The ointment Yunho had applied contained a numbing agent as well, just enough to diminish the slight but persistent throb of pain.

“Can I see Wooyoung now?” he asked as soon as the bandages were in place, looking between the three vampires sitting around him. “Please? With all of you here, it won’t be a problem. I just want to see him, so I can talk to him. I think that’ll help him to feel better.” 

Yunho and Mingi exchanged a look right over Seonghwa’s head, and then they both looked to Hongjoong, whose expression was otherwise unreadable. “Seonghwa is right - we’re all here. He won’t be in any danger, and Wooyoung needs it. You know he does,” Mingi pointed out, and Seonghwa appreciated the support, for he had a feeling that Hongjoong would be more willing to listen now. 

“Has he been drinking blood since what happened?’ Hongjoong asked, brushing his hair away from his face. He was perched on the arm of the chair almost like a cat, his small body arranged easily over the narrow space. 

“Yes, he went through several blood bags yesterday,” Yunho confirmed. “I agree with you, that he shouldn’t be around Seonghwa if he’s hungry, but he should still be pretty full. In a way, I do think that this helped him to overcome some of his hesitation around drinking blood. He doesn’t want it to happen again, so he forced himself to drink as much as he could manage. That’s what San told me.” 

Hongjoong sighed, visibly relenting. “Fine. I will go ask them if they would like to come down to see you. I do not know if he will agree, but I will ask.” Seonghwa nodded, for that was all he could ask for, and he had a feeling that Wooyoung would want to see him. At least, he hoped so, because he couldn’t stand to have that image of Wooyoung with eyes tinged red and fangs bared as his most recent memory of the boy. He wanted to replace it, and he wanted to tell Wooyoung in person all of the things he had written in his letter. 

He watched as Hongjoong headed for the stairs, picking anxiously at the skin around his fingernails as he waited. “I know you’ve been dealing with a lot,” Mingi said, disrupting the silence. “But thank you for staying. When we heard what happened… I thought you were going to leave.” 

“I’m bound by a contract,” Seonghwa reminded, for he wasn’t sure how familiar these vampires were with the contract process, considering that the coven had never brought in another feeder before. “I can’t leave. Not until the year is up, at least.” 

Speaking of the contract, it was already December now, winter setting in now that autumn had drawn to a close. He had already been here for nearly three months, which was hard to wrap his brain around, for it didn’t feel like so much time had passed. 

“Still… if you were too shaken from what happened, and you decided that you had to leave, Hongjoong would let you go. He would be distraught, of course, but he would never keep you someplace you didn’t want to be. He is honorable in that way; you’re bound to the right person. He will always care about you more than the contract,” Yunho explained. 

“I know that,” Seonghwa replied, for Hongjoong had been quite clear about his intent from the beginning. “But I don’t want to leave. Wooyoung didn’t hurt me on purpose - none of you would. We just have to be more careful, that’s all. It could have been a lot worse.” 

Mingi and Yunho nodded, and just as Mingi opened his mouth to say more, he was interrupted by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. 

Multiple pairs of footsteps. 

Seonghwa whirled around, looking over the back of the couch to see Hongjoong already stepping down onto the hardwood floor of the living room. Right behind him followed two others, and Seonghwa’s breath hitched in his throat as his eyes were immediately drawn to Wooyoung, his heart clenching. 

Drowning in a hoodie that was too large for him, Wooyoung looked smaller than usual as he huddled into San’s side, clutching his hand. The hood was pulled over his head, but as he looked towards the fireplace Seonghwa was able to see his face, and he sucked in a soft breath. 

He had been crying, likely for a long while, for his entire face was swollen and red, shiny with tears. His eyes were bloodshot, but they had returned to their typical warm brown color, immediately overwriting that awful memory in Seonghwa’s mind. This was Wooyoung how he was meant to look, albeit more upset than Seonghwa would have liked, the tip of his nose pink and his lips quavering. 

Their eyes met a moment later, and Seonghwa rose from the couch, unable to just sit by and stare. “Wooyoung,” he murmured, and the rest of the room was silent around them. Nothing else mattered right then, and Seonghwa wanted to hurry forward and wrap the boy in his arms, but he knew he couldn’t do that. 

An instant later, Wooyoung’s eyes flitted down to the bandages around Seonghwa’s neck, and his eyes filled with tears. A broken sob cracked from his lips, his face crumbling as he turned further into San’s side, his shoulders curving inwards. For a moment, Seonghwa could only stare, his heart shattering at the sound of those cries. 

He looked at San to find tears in his eyes as well as he wrapped his arms around Wooyoung, so visibly upset on behalf of his fledgling. Seonghwa swallowed before stepping away from the couch, approaching the foot of the stairs where the two of them had stopped. He kept his distance, staying a short distance away, and Hongjoong moved to stand at his side wordlessly. “Wooyoung, Seonghwa said again, his voice pleading. “Can you look at me?” 

At first, Wooyoung refused to move, but then he finally turned his head just enough to peek at Seonghwa, his eyes rimmed with red. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice thick and tremulous. “I’m so sorry. I h-hurt you. Your neck, it’s-” Another sob disrupted his words, and he clung to San’s shirt, his knuckles turning white due to the force of his grip. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I d-didn’t mean to - to-” 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Seonghwa soothed, his arms hanging uselessly at his sides. He relied so much on physical touch when it came to connecting with Wooyoung, and now he was itching to reach out. “I promise, it’s okay. I know the bandages look bad, but it doesn’t hurt anymore, okay? I’m fine. Look at me - I’m fine, okay? My skin will heal.” 

Wooyoung blinked at him, the tears streaming from his eyes endlessly, soaking the front of San’s shirt. “I don't feel any differently about you,” Seonghwa said, and he meant every word. “Did you read my letter?” 

He waited for Wooyoung to nod, and then he allowed his lips to curve into a soft smile despite the persistent ache in his chest. “You’re still an angel to me, Wooyoung. One accident won’t change that. You didn’t mean to hurt me, I know that. I promise, I’ve always known that. Even while it was happening, I knew that you weren’t yourself. You would never hurt me on purpose.” 

“I wouldn’t,” Wooyoung sniffled, blinking up at Seonghwa, tears clinging to the ends of his long eyelashes. “I d-didn’t know what I was doing. I wanted to stop, but I couldn’t, it was like I was trapped inside of my own mind and my hunger just took over and - and then I was covered in blood, and I didn’t even realize it was yours at first and then I just couldn’t stop crying-” He dissolved into tears all over again, and Seonghwa had to fight the urge to step closer. 

“I know that must have been so scary for you,” he murmured instead, and Wooyoung nodded, his chin trembling. “And I know that it takes time to fully recover from something like that, but I wanted to see you because I wanted to tell you that I don’t hate you for what happened. I could never hate you.” 

Wooyoung’s grip on San’s shirt loosened slightly as he absorbed the words, his throat moving as he swallowed. “Are you sure?” he whispered. 

“Of course I am,” Seonghwa said, keeping his expression warm in hopes that Wooyoung would see how much he meant the words. “Wooyoung, I have been hurt by so many people in my life. People who wanted to hurt me, who did it on purpose. You are nothing like those people, okay? I promise you that, even if you’re having a hard time seeing it yourself. You are not a bad person.” 

The more Seonghwa spoke, the more Wooyoung seemed to listen, his sobs fewer and farther between now. He looked so young, and Seonghwa was reminded of the truth, that he was in fact the youngest one here. He was immortal now, but he had only just been turned. “You have so much life left to live,” Seonghwa said, trying to ignore how his own eyes had started to burn. “You’re still innocent, okay? You aren’t irredeemable.”

“It was so much easier before,” Wooyoung admitted, his voice small. “When vampires were just… stories that traveled around the lunchroom at school, back when I was a kid. When monsters were just the shadows under my bed. Now… now I am the monster. How can I be innocent, when now I’m the one kids will tell scary stories about?” 

Turning this over in his brain, Seonghwa shook his head. “To me, the world isn’t so cut and dry. Humans are not angels, and vampires are not monsters. Do you know why I say that?” 

When Wooyoung failed to respond, Seonghwa continued. “The worst monsters I have encountered in my life have been human. And the only ones who have ever been kind to me live here, in this coven house. That includes you, Wooyoung. Trust me, I’ve done bad things too. We all have, I’m sure. But the difference lies in the intent.” 

“I didn’t mean it,” Wooyoung said again, blinking back tears. “I wish that I could go back and - and drink the blood bags that San tried to give me, so that it wouldn’t have happened.”

“I know,” Seonghwa murmured. “But time persists whether we like it or not. We can’t go back in time, no matter how hard we wish for it. All we can do is move forward. I promise, Wooyoung, it’s alright. You are not defined by this one thing that you did.” 

Wiping his nose with his sleeve, Wooyoung nodded, finally uncurling from San and standing up straighter. He was still upset, for those feelings wouldn’t just disappear, but he looked better than he had at first, and that was all Seonghwa could have hoped for. “Can I give you something?” Wooyoung asked, still holding onto San’s hand. “I won’t touch you, but I just want to give you something.” 

“Of course you can,” Seonghwa answered, and Wooyoung broke free of San’s hold then, going back up the stairs. Once he was out of sight, the careful silence in the room dissipated. All of the vampires cared about the youngest member of their coven immensely, for Seonghwa could feel their concern in the air, even before any of them said a word. 

“Thank you,” San said, and he was clearly holding back his own emotions, his eyes shining. “He needed to hear that from you. He’s been reading your letter over and over again - he fell asleep holding it.” 

That mental image was almost too much for Seonghwa to bear, and he was so glad that the letter had provided Wooyoung with at least a little bit of comfort. “He’s not a bad person,” Seonghwa murmured. “And at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.” 

The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs captured Seonghwa’s attention, and then Wooyoung appeared once more, holding something in his hands. He stopped next to San, coughing into his fist to clear his throat. “I found this for you,” he said, holding up the feather in his hands. “I know it’s not the same as the one you gave me, but I still think it’s pretty. It reminded me of you.” 

The feather was long and inky black in color, shining under the warm lighting inside the house. It had likely come from a crow or a raven, and Seonghwa smiled. “Did this one come from your wings or mine?” he asked, if only to make Wooyoung smile. And much to his delight, the corners of Wooyoung’s mouth raised slightly, his eyes regaining a bit of their sparkle. 

“Mine,” he murmured. “But I want you to have it.” He moved to extend his arm forward, intending to give it to Seonghwa, before he withdrew his arm. “Maybe I shouldn’t…” he started, and San took the feather from him, squeezing his hand. 

“It’s okay, I’ll do it,” he said, and he stepped forward to hold out the feather. Seonghwa took it, running his fingers over the smooth texture of the barbs, the softness of the down at the base of the quill. 

He looked up at Wooyoung, and he clutched the feather to his chest, right over his heart. “Thank you, angel,” he said, his heart full. 

Wooyoung’s smile grew a bit wider, lighting up the room. “Angels don’t have black wings,” he said, but the protest was a weak one. 

“Says who?” Seonghwa countered, raising a brow. “I think they can.” 

They smiled at each other then, and the cracks in both of their hearts began to heal. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #13: Intentional discrimination against law-abiding vampires by humans is strictly prohibited.

~

When the first snow of the year arrived, Seonghwa bundled himself in layers of warm clothing and sat outside on the porch to watch, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as well. He had always loved the snow, and between the clothes and the blanket, the chill wasn’t too bad. Only the tip of his nose and his cheeks were cold, but he cupped his hands over his face every few minutes, blowing hot air to warm up his own skin. 

The woods were quieter now, a product of the change of season, but the entire atmosphere was still serene as ever. All of the deciduous trees had already lost their leaves, their branches silhouetted against the setting sun, snow clinging to each one. However, the evergreens stood tall and proud amongst the rest, bathed in a curtain of falling snow, the entire sky shaded grey. The sunset was muted as well, the colors more pastel than before. If Seonghwa were an artist, he would want to paint the scene that stood before him now. 

Instead, he settled for watching as the snow fell, coating the ground layer by layer. The evening was quiet, all of the vampires still asleep inside of the house, although he didn’t expect that to last much longer. He loved being around them, but he also enjoyed this time alone with his thoughts. After all, he had been alone for the majority of his life; sometimes, he needed to go back to that state, even just for a short while.

A movement above the trees caught his eye, a small, dark outline of something moving, and he watched as it came closer. At first, he assumed the silhouette belonged to a bird, but as he watched he realized that wasn’t the case. Rather, it was a bat, and much like that other time he had sat out on the porch, it flew up above his head and landed on one of the second story window sills. 

He looked up at it, watching those wings fold away, the small black shape difficult to spot against the black exterior of the house. It was ironic to see a bat land on this house full of vampires, considering the human superstition that centered around a link between the two. But this creature was just an animal like all of the rest, and Seonghwa looked up at it, noticing how the snowflakes continually covered its black fur. 

“Hey there,” he said, because he had always liked to talk to animals, and no one else was around to find it weird. “You can come under this overhang, if you want. I know the snow is probably cold for you.” 

Much to his surprise, the bat tilted his head to look down at him in response to the sound of his voice, those beady black eyes glittering with intelligence. Seonghwa smiled, although he wasn’t sure if his expression meant anything to the creature watching him. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. I promise. I like bats.” 

The bat continued to stare at him, but right when Seonghwa was about to say something else, it flew down towards the porch. Once the bat was right in front of the upper lip of the wooden overhang, it performed a twist in midair with the aid of its wings to hold the wooden lip with its feet, hanging upside down with ease. 

Seonghwa had never actually watched a bat land upside down before, and his jaw fell open as he blinked, surprised. “That was pretty cool,” he commented, his puffs of breath visible in the cold air. The bat stared at him, folding up its wings again, wrapping them around that small body. “Are you a girl or a boy? Maybe I can name you, but I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, you know…” 

He trailed off when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to get an answer, because he was talking to an animal, and he blushed as he wrapped his blanket tighter around himself. “Okay, well… I’m going to assume you’re a girl, then. That’s my best guess.” Again, the bat didn’t react to his words, so he figured that it would be okay. The bat didn’t understand him anyway. 

“How about a name?” he continued, pursing his lips as he considered this, staring out at the snow. “Your fur is black, and so are your wings, so I guess something that goes along with that. If you hate any of my choices, feel free to claw me in the face, or something.” He huffed a laugh at his own words, for he was used to providing himself with his own amusement. 

Despite his rambling, the bat didn’t seem bothered by his presence, as she didn’t make any move to leave. Her gaze remained fixated on him as well, so he figured it was okay to keep talking. “I think the name Onyx would suit you,” he said after about a minute of brainstorming. “Because you’re black, obviously, but not just that. I think that your eyes remind me of the actual gemstone onyx, because they’re so shiny. Do you like it?” 

He looked at her as she hung upside down, and as he blinked he swore that he saw her head bob up and down in a nod. Surprised, his mouth fell open, but then he swallowed and nodded as well. “Okay, then. It’s nice to meet you, Onyx.” 

She spread her wings at his words, and she dropped down from the lip of the overhang, flying right over to Seonghwa and landing on his shoulder. His eyes flew open, and his muscles stiffened as he made sure not to move the slightest bit, for he didn’t want her to fly away. “I guess you like it then,” he murmured, hyper aware of the small weight on his shoulder. 

Now he was able to see her up close, and he realized that she was actually quite cute. He wasn’t terribly familiar with bats beyond the regular halloween merchandise and the fabled link between vampire bats and actual vampires, but he wasn’t even sure what kind of bat Onyx was. Perhaps she had been shunned by society as well, finding it easier to stay in this forest rather than daring to venture into the city, where she might be hurt by some idiot human who thinks she’s a vampire. 

“I live here, you know,” Seonghwa murmured, eyes tracing over the thin layer of skin that made up Onyx’s wings. He found it remarkable that such a creature could exist, with wings capable of flight just like a bird despite the lack of feathers. He remembered hearing once that birds and bats had actually evolved their wings completely independent of one another, which seemed impossible. 

He had forgotten his train of thought for a moment, and he coughed softly to clear his throat as Onyx began to wander around on his shoulder, her feet sinking into the plush texture of his blanket. “I live here now, even though I’m a human. This is my home.” He smiled at his own words, looking at the small bat on his shoulder. “Do you have a home?” 

She didn’t respond, obviously, but he enjoyed having someone to talk to anyway. Directing his attention back towards the forest that surrounded the coven house, Seonghwa inhaled a deep breath of chilled winter air, allowing his lungs to fill before he let it all out, watching his breath dissipate into the air. 

Perhaps being outside in the middle of a snowfall wasn’t the best idea, but Seonghwa was used to being out in the cold. He had spent countless winter nights outside, conserving warmth in any way possible, and he had never owned thick sweaters and jackets and blankets like he did now. So he didn’t feel terribly cold, and he enjoyed watching the world turn white. 

The front door of the house opened eventually, and Seonghwa turned his head, already certain that he would find Hongjoong there. He watched as Hongjoong stepped out onto the porch, the usual black cloak hanging from his shoulders down to his calves, the wind blowing his hair away from his forehead. “What are you doing out here?” he asked, taking note of Seonghwa’s current position, the blanket around his body. “It’s freezing.” 

Seonghwa shrugged, and Onyx flew away in time with the movement, disappearing into the surrounding trees in a matter of seconds. “Was that a bat?” Hongjoong asked, squinting towards the trees. 

“Yeah, she was under the overhang to stay out of the snow,” Seonghwa explained, and to his credit, Hongjoong took that information in stride. He just nodded, clearly more concerned with Seonghwa’s health. 

“You will get sick if you stay out here. Come inside, please,” he said, approaching Seonghwa’s seat and crossing his arms. 

He wasn’t going to budge until Seonghwa agreed, and the air had grown colder since the sunset, so Seonghwa rose from his chair at last, holding his blanket around his shoulders still. “Is everyone else awake?” Seonghwa asked as they both headed for the front door. 

Holding the door open for Seonghwa, Hongjoong nodded. “Yeah, for the most part. Yunho is about to leave, but he has a short shift today, so he’ll be back in a few hours.” 

As soon as Seonghwa stepped over the threshold and into the house, his cheeks and nose began to warm up. Hongjoong stepped inside as well and closed the door before following Seonghwa into the living room area. “Did you eat?” Hongjoong asked. 

“Yes, I ate before I went outside.” Seonghwa headed right for the fireplace, Hongjoong right at his heels. “Did you see the snow?” 

“Of course,” Hongjoong said, sitting beside Seonghwa on the wooden floor to be closer to the fire. “I went outside to retrieve you after all. But I must say, I do not see the human fascination with snow. All it does is make you feel cold, does it not? Your nose is very pink.” 

Holding his hands towards the fire, Seonghwa sighed. “Well, yes, it does make us feel cold, but there’s something so… wondrous about it. Especially the first snow of the season. It holds its own magic, in a way.” 

Hongjoong hummed, reaching out to touch the tip of Seonghwa’s nose. “But your skin is freezing,” he said again, fixated on that part of the equation. “You should not sit outside like that anymore. Not until spring.” 

“I’m not cold anymore, I promise. I wore layers, and I brought out this blanket - only my face was cold,” Seonghwa countered, rolling his eyes, although he did find Hongjoong’s protectiveness to be endearing. “I just wanted to see the snow. It’s not the same to look through a window.” 

“Next time, I will join you, then,” Hongjoong said, his stare holding Seonghwa in place. “Humans get sick so easily. I do not want you to get sick.” 

Seonghwa smiled, his cheeks warm now from the fire. “We live with a doctor, though,” he reminded. “So it wouldn’t be a big deal. But also, I never get sick. I’ve been exposed to a lot of different things, so I used to get sick a lot when I was younger, but not so much anymore. You don’t have to worry about that.” 

~

“It is a fever, if this contraption that we found in Yunho’s room is to be believed,” Hongjoong said, looking down at the thermometer in his hands, brows furrowed in concentration. Seonghwa groaned, leaning his head back against the arm of the couch, closing his eyes to stop the dizziness. His skin felt hot and cold at the same time, a typical trait of illness, and his body ached whenever he moved. 

He had been feeling like this since the moment he woke up, and Hongjoong had seen it in his face immediately as well. Yunho was working at the moment, but Mingi and Hongjoong had managed to find a thermometer amongst the medical supplies in Yunho’s room. “Dammit,” Seonghwa cursed, dragging his hand over his face. “I never get sick, I don’t understand-”

“I did tell you that you would get sick from sitting outside in the cold, did I not?” Hongjoong interrupted, raising a brow, and Mingi dissolved into laughter as Seonghwa glared at him. “Do you feel okay otherwise? Do you need more blankets? I will order you medicine, I do not know what you need but I will just buy everything. Perhaps you would like tea? Or soup? You should try to sleep as well, maybe you will feel better when you wake up. Are you hungry? I will get you water, you should stay hydrated.” 

Hongjoong turned around and headed straight for the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water, and Seonghwa locked eyes with Mingi, both of them dumbfounded. “Is he… normally like that?” Seonghwa asked, biting his lip to hold back a laugh. He felt like garbage, but Hongjoong was treating him like he was on his deathbed. 

Smothering a giggle with his palm, Mingi shook his head. “We don’t really get sick,” he explained, casting a glance towards the kitchen. “So, I don’t know, I guess he’s worried. It’s sweet.”

“It’s insane,” Seonghwa corrected, pulling his blanket up under his chin, a fresh wave of chills spreading over his skin. “I’ll be fine by tomorrow. It’s just a low fever.” 

“If I were you, I would take advantage of it anyway,” Mingi commented, a knowing look on his face. “You have the most well known vampire in the country ready and willing to do anything you ask of him.” 

As soon as the last word came out of Mingi’s mouth, the sound of glass shattering came from the kitchen, and the two of them looked towards the sound. “You’ve got to be kidding,” Mingi muttered, storming into the kitchen and throwing his hands up, still in Seonghwa’s field of view. “You can’t even get a glass of water without destroying something?”

“I was trying to make sure it was a good temperature! If it is too cold, it might make him feel worse.” Seonghwa couldn’t see Hongjoong from his place on the couch, but he smiled at the sound of his voice anyway, shaking his head in exasperation. Who knew a vampire who had been alive for centuries could be so childish. 

Mingi sighed, dropping his arms and shoving Hongjoong out of the kitchen. “I’ll do it, just get out of here,” he said, and Hongjoong didn’t protest, coming over to the couch again to kneel at Seonghwa’s side. 

“Sorry about that,” he said, but he didn’t appear terribly sorry, his eyes twinkling. “Yunho will be home soon, he can check you over to make sure that it is nothing serious. Do you need anything else? Just tell me, I will take care of it,” 

Reaching out to take Hongjoong’s hand, Seonghwa squeezed it. “Hongjoong, I’m fine. Humans get sick, it’s a thing that happens. It’s really not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal,” Hongjoong insisted, looking down at Seonghwa’s hand held within his own. “To me, it is.” 

Before Seonghwa could say anything else, two new faces appeared from upstairs, and he craned his neck to see who it was. When he saw Wooyoung and San, he smiled, raising his hand in a weak greeting. Hongjoong turned his head, beckoning them over. 

Seonghwa really must have looked terrible, because both of their faces fell the moment they saw him. “Are you okay?” San asked, his concern evident. “Are you sick?” Seonghwa nodded, and he frowned in sympathy. 

Beside him, Wooyoung came closer, although he didn’t initiate any contact. By now, the wounds along Seonghwa’s neck had healed, but the fresh scars were still visible, and he didn’t miss how Wooyoung’s gaze landed upon the scars first before raising to Seonghwa’s face. “Is it just a fever?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded, gesturing to the coffee table where the thermometer had been abandoned. 

“I think so, but Hongjoong took my temperature and he didn’t really know what he was doing,” he explained, and Wooyoung picked up the thermometer, holding it in his hands but not doing anything else with it yet. 

“I would do it, but I don’t want to come too close,” he murmured, his eyes sad. “But I’m sure that’s all it is. I can make you soup, if you want. Or if there’s anything else you like to have when you’re sick.” 

Seonghwa held his gaze, a bitter smile on his lips. “I usually don’t have anything special when I’m sick,” he answered, and the implications of his statement hung heavy in the air around the group of them. “But soup sounds really nice. I’ve only had soup a few times in my life, and it was only ever from a can, so I’m sure whatever you make will be delicious. Thank you so much, Wooyoung. I really appreciate it.” Soup did sound nice, but really he just wanted to provide Wooyoung with a way to help, since he could no longer provide physical comfort. 

The joy returned to Wooyoung’s eyes after that, much to Seonghwa’s relief. “I’ll make you my favorite recipe for whenever I was sick. My mom used to make it for me - it’s a ginger soup with noodles. It’ll be light on your stomach, but comforting too. Sound good?” 

“That sounds amazing, thank you. I don’t trust anyone else to cook for me, after Hongjoong just destroyed the kitchen trying to pour me a glass of water.” Hongjoong protested that immediately, while Wooyoung and San just laughed, heading for the kitchen. Seonghwa’s stomach rumbled at the thought of the soup Wooyoung had described, and he sank deeper into the couch, sighing as he allowed his eyes to close. 

Cold fingers tapped at his cheeks, and he squinted up at Hongjoong. “What?” 

“Sorry. I was not sure if you were trying to sleep, or if you were dying.” 

Seonghwa groaned, smacking his hand away. “I’m not dying, Hongjoong. I’m trying to sleep.”

“Okay, I will not disrupt you again. I will just sit here and wait for you to wake up.” 

Closing his eyes again, Seonghwa pressed his lips together to hide his smile. These vampires were a complete mess sometimes, but he had never felt so cared for before. Although his body was wracked with constant chills, his heart was warm. 

He managed to sleep for about an hour, before the sound of the front door slamming shut jolted him back into consciousness. Slowly blinking his eyes open, he raised his head up from where it rested against a pillow now, rather than the arm of the couch. Someone had slid a pillow beneath his head while he was sleeping, then, and it wasn’t difficult to tell who had done it once he inhaled a breath through his nose. 

The pillow smelled like fresh rain, and Seonghwa tilted his head to the side, expecting to find Hongjoong still sitting on the floor beside the couch. However, he had risen at the sound of the door, watching as Yunho entered the living room in his lab coat with his glasses perched on the end of his nose. Yeosang and Jongho were in the living room as well now, sitting on one of the other couches with Mingi, all of them taken aback by the slamming sound. 

Even though Seonghwa had only known Yunho for a short time, he could still see that something was wrong. He was typically a very good natured, easy going person, his features reflecting that. Seonghwa swore he was always smiling, and he was the first person in this house who had made Seonghwa feel comfortable. 

However, his face was stony now, his mouth forming a hard line and his eyes hooded. He was pale by nature of being a vampire, but his pallor looked worse than normal, and he immediately sought out Hongjoong’s gaze as he stopped in the entryway to the living room. “I need to talk to you,” he said, his words clipped with anger. “Now.” 

Hongjoong cast a look towards Seonghwa, catching his bottom lip between his teeth, his fangs exposed by the movement. “Seonghwa is sick, Yunho. I was hoping you could have a look at him, because none of us are knowledgeable in human illness. Wooyoung is making soup, but that is all we could manage.” 

Only then did Yunho finally look towards Seonghwa, noting his sorry state, the pile of crumpled tissues beside him on the couch. He sighed, running a hand through his hair, his shoulders tense. “Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, clearly plagued by something. “Is it bad? What are your symptoms?”

Raising one of his hands from beneath the blanket, Seonghwa waved him off. “It’s just a cold, don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine - go talk to Hongjoong.” Yunho stared for a moment before nodding, and whatever was bothering him had to be serious, because otherwise he never would have agreed to delay his assessment of Seonghwa’s illness. 

Hongjoong appeared reluctant, but he followed after Yunho anyway, the two of them heading up the stairs to speak in private. Once they were gone, the rest of them all looked at each other, Wooyoung and San poking their heads out from within the kitchen. “What was that about?” San asked, lips pursed in concern. 

“No idea,” Jongho said, all of them relaxing back against the couch again, although the atmosphere wasn’t quite so calm anymore. Unable to sleep any longer, Seonghwa propped himself up against the pillow to support his back, reaching over to grab the glass of water that someone had set down on the table for him. He took a sip, moistening his parched throat, his head pounding. 

The others continued to discuss, throwing out guesses as to what the issue might be, all of them relating somehow to Yunho’s work. After all, he had come straight from a shift, and considering the controversial nature of his position as a doctor, the thought of something happening to upset him while at the clinic wasn’t far-fetched. 

Still, Seonghwa hoped that nothing too terrible had happened to him, because he was so kind-hearted that it didn’t seem fair in the slightest. He pursued his career because he wanted to help people, despite the vast majority of the world’s distaste for his mere existence. Most humans were either afraid of him or immediately hateful, and most vampires looked down on him for his lack of fangs, but he still did what he could to help them when they needed it anyway. 

Seonghwa’s eyes prickled with tears the more he thought about it, for his illness made him feel more sensitive than normal. He stared down at his blanket, picking at threads as he pressed his lips together, throat burning. 

“Hey, the soup is ready.” He looked up at the sound of Wooyoung’s voice, watching as the fledgling came over to the couch and set down a bowl on the table. Steam billowed up from the contents, and Seonghwa’s stomach gurgled at the sight. “It’s hot right now, but I think you’ll like it. It used to be my favorite thing when I was human.” He offered a gentle smile, and Seonghwa returned it, wishing he could reach out and ruffle Wooyoung’s hair, or squeeze his hand. 

Instead, he settled for using his words, although he knew they didn’t provide Wooyoung with the same comfort as a human touch. “Thank you so much,” he said, sitting up fully now to look down at the soup. It looked wonderful, and if it was anything like all of the other things that Wooyoung had cooked for him, it would taste even better than it looked. “I really appreciate it. You’re an angel.” 

Wooyoung ducked his head shyly at the praise, the sleeves of his sweatshirt pulled over his hands. “I was happy to do it,” he replied, glancing back as San came up behind him, resting a hand against his waist. “My sous-chef wasn’t too bad, either.” San grinned, pressing a kiss to Wooyoung’s temple, and Seonghwa’s heart softened at the sight. 

Once the soup cooled down enough to eat, Seonghwa tasted it, his eyes widening at the flavor. He had already known Wooyoung was talented in the kitchen, but this soup was exactly what he needed, and he finished the entire bowl in a matter of minutes. His stomach was pleasantly full by the time he was done, his body warmed from the inside out. 

His timing was impeccable, for as soon as he set down his spoon and leaned back against the couch, Hongjoong and Yunho returned from upstairs. Even before Hongjoong opened his mouth, Seonghwa noticed the tightness around his jaw, the rigidity of his body. Apprehension descended over the room as they all turned to the coven leader, who made his way over to Seonghwa’s couch, kneeling down beside him once more.

All of the other vampires gathered around the fireplace as well, and even the flames seemed to burn a little lower, their glow dampened by the mood in the room. “What’s going on?” Jongho asked, looking between Hongjoong and Yunho, his elbows resting on his knees as he tented his hands against his chin. 

Hongjoong sighed, casting a brief glance in Seonghwa’s direction before opening his mouth to speak, and that one look held enough meaning for Seonghwa to know that it involved him in some way. “I need to address something with you all; it has been on my mind for a long while, but with what I just learned from Yunho, we cannot avoid this conversation any longer.”

“It has something to do with me, doesn’t it?” Seonghwa asked, his question punctuated by a loud sneeze, muffled in the crook of his arm. “Did - did something happen with those vampires we ran into that other time? Or something else?” Seonghwa’s mind immediately ran wild with all of the possibilities, only quieted by Hongjoong’s touch as he rested his hand atop Seonghwa’s knee.

“Do not panic,” he soothed, expression earnest. “Nothing bad has happened yet; rather, I want to discuss a means by which we can avoid any potential issues in the future. As we have discussed previously, many vampires wanted you as their feeder, and even after that many vampires still desire you. Your presence here in this coven house is no secret between vampires.” 

None of that information was new, and Seonghwa nodded along with the others, chewing at the inside of his cheek as a way to alleviate his anxiety. “Well, Yunho was at the clinic today, and there has been something of a… new development, when it comes to your situation,” Hongjoong continued, gesturing to Yunho, who had taken a seat beside Mingi. 

He too cast a glance at Seonghwa before speaking, his eyes somber behind the windows of his glasses. “You know that I work at a fusion clinic, one for vampires and humans alike,” he started, and Seonghwa nodded. Yunho had told him about this before, how even though vampires weren’t technically alive, they could still contract vampire-specific illnesses and sustain wounds. Only the immortalist clan was immune to such ailments, which explained why Hongjoong had overreacted so much about Seonghwa’s illness - he was rarely exposed to it. 

“I’m the only vampire who has a position there as a doctor - there are a few others who handle lesser tasks, but they don’t interact directly with patients like I do. The only humans that come through the clinic are usually those who live under poor circumstances, because clinics can provide free medical care, unlike the other medical offices in the city. They don’t usually like to be treated by me, but that’s to be expected.” He shrugged, and Seonghwa frowned. 

Yunho was typically overflowing with infectious, joyful energy to the point where Seonghwa sometimes forgot what he had conditioned himself to deal with. In the absence of his fangs, vampires looked down on him, while humans would never accept him either, no matter how many lives he saved. 

“The humans who come through the clinic are usually high out of their minds, or really sick, or a combination of the two. They aren’t usually very coherent, if you understand what I mean,” Yunho continued, and Seonghwa nodded. He had encountered plenty of people like that, had been beaten and robbed by a few before he learned how to handle himself better on the streets of the city. “They don’t know the first thing about what’s going on in the world, but today…” 

He trailed off, taking off his glasses now, holding them in his hands as he looked at the rest of his coven. “Somehow, the humans there today knew about you, Seonghwa. They were talking about you, and at first I didn’t realize it, but once I understood it took every bit of strength in me to not react.” 

Pulse pounding along the curve of his neck, Seonghwa sucked in a breath, caught off guard by the information. “What do you mean? How - how do they know who I am? What were they saying?” He forced himself not to jump to conclusions, instead keeping his gaze firm on Yunho. 

“They were all in the waiting room talking, and they were saying that - that they would never let themselves wind up like you. They were calling you, um… I don’t-” 

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa interrupted, hiding his hands under his blanket to conceal their shaking. “You can say it. I’m sure I’ve heard worse before.” 

“They called you pathetic. They said that you have no sense of self, that you just let your vampire take advantage of you whenever he wants because you have a pretty face and nothing else. Somehow, they knew everything - your full name, how long you’ve been with us, the circumstances of the bidding situation over you, all of it. And I couldn’t figure out how, but I also couldn’t ask, because that’s not my place as a professional. They knew enough to know that you’re a feeder in my coven, though. They said to me-” He had to stop then, shaking his head. “I don’t want to say the rest. I don’t want to repeat it, you already know the gist.” 

Seonghwa swallowed, his throat aching as he did so, sore from his illness. A destructive part of himself wanted to know the rest, but he held his tongue, for Yunho’s distress was evident. He spared a glance at Hongjoong, and his rage was blatant - hands clenched into fists, jaw hard and eyes blazing. 

“How do humans know all of that?” Seonghwa asked, reaching out to brush his hand against Hongjonog’s arm, hoping to pull him out of his anger. “I - I don’t understand.” 

Shaking his head, Hongjoong avoided Seonghwa’s gaze, his knuckles whiter than the rest of his skin due to the pressure held within his fists. “It’s the other vampires. If they want to give us trouble, they might spread word on purpose. Just because vampires and humans live separately does not mean that vampires won’t use humans as they see fit.” 

“Why would they care, though?” Seonghwa was trying to make sense of this, but it all seemed so convoluted, so odd. “If they want to give us trouble, why wouldn't they just come straight to us? Why bother spreading rumors amongst humans?” 

He was still looking to Hongjoong for an answer, but Mingi was the one who spoke next, his deep voice interjecting. “Do you remember why those vampires left that time? They were enjoying themselves taunting us, until-”

“Until you said that Hongjoong was with the council nearby,” Seonghwa recalled, his eyes widening with the realization. “Are they really that afraid of you?” 

He watched Hongjoong as he nodded. “I have mentioned to you where that knife that I gifted to you came from,” he said, his voice softer now, emotion roughening the edges of his words. “Before I was a vampire, I was a vampire hunter. There are eight vampire clans, or bloodlines, and yet we are the only coven left in Asia that belongs to the Immortalist Clan. Do you know why?”

Seonghwa shook his head, hanging onto Hongjoong’s every word, desperate to learn more about his past. “Because I killed the rest. The vampires who slaughtered my entire family were immortalists. So I hunted them in turn, for over a decade of my human life. I traveled across the continent, until they got the best of me one day. I assumed they would kill me, but instead they turned me, because that was the worst hell imaginable for me at the time. 

“But, all of that is to say that my reputation has been set in stone since before I was ever a vampire. If another clan makes a move against me or my coven, I will not hesitate to wipe out their numbers next, and they are aware of that. So they do not challenge me directly, but rather they move through these other, indirect channels. We know that vampires have been feeding information to humans, but we do not know who. That makes this more difficult.” 

By the time he was finished speaking, Seonghwa was left reeling. One human had managed to kill every single immortalist vampire in Asia? He supposed that explained why Hongjoong was so well known, and why all of the other vampires in his coven were younger than him, but it paved the way for a host of new questions to come to life within his mind as well. 

“But then - did you continue to hunt vampires even after you were turned?” he asked, gears turning. Otherwise, it would make no sense how Hongjoong had been turned in the first place, how Yunho, San, and Mingi had been turned. There had to have been other immortalists around for that to be possible.

“There was a decent amount of time between when San joined us and when Jongho and Yeosang were turned,” Mingi supplied. “The four of us, we finished the job. Vampires killing other vampires is more common than you might think. The council didn’t exist yet at that point, so… it was kind of a free-for-all. And when the regulations were first made and the creation of a council was mandated, Hongjoong was an obvious choice, as a vampire who had been dealing out justice of his own for decades. He was about the closest thing to a vampire who wouldn’t solely take the side of other vampires, which is part of why his presence on the council is so important. No one has brought justice to more vampires than him.”

To Seonghwa, Hongjoong was not a notorious vampire hunter-turned-vampire; although his reputation to the rest of the world was one of brutality, he had proven himself to be so opposite that now Seonghwa struggled to reconcile what he was hearing with what he had seen with his own two eyes from the beginning. 

He blinked hard, trying to clear his head, for the overall fuzziness of his fever-addled mind wasn’t helping either. “What do we do, then?” he asked eventually, fatigue clinging to each of his lashes, weighing down his eyelids. “To be honest, it doesn’t matter to me if people spread rumors about me, but if you say that vampires are behind this… you aren’t just going to let this be, are you?” 

Hongjoong was the one to respond now, his voice firm. “No, I cannot,” he admitted, and although his gaze softened when he looked at Seonghwa, his rage was still impossible to miss. “But there is a solution. If you and I make an appearance together, where all of the vampires in this city will be able to see what you mean to me, this will stop. Right now, they believe you to be my plaything and nothing else. When they see how I truly feel, they will understand that to hurt you is to strike me as well.”

How do you truly feel? The question sat on the tip of Seonghwa’s tongue, but he swallowed it down, afraid of the answer even though he already knew what it would be.

“You’re talking about the masquerade, aren’t you?” Yeosang asked, and this was the first time had spoken up in a while, his thoughts unreadable. “Are you sure that will be safe?” 

Masquerade? In all his time in this city, he had never once heard of a masquerade event. He had assumed such organized balls to be a thing of the past, but perhaps not. Vampires themselves were technically things of the past too, after all. It would make sense for their traditions to be different.

Hongjoong nodded, getting to his feet now and backing up closer to the fireplace to be able to see everyone. “Seonghwa will be attending the masquerade with the rest of us this year. This is the only way that we can be sure everyone will get the message, as all four covens within Seoul will be in attendance. He will remain with me the entire time.” 

Turning to Seonghwa, Hongjoong’s voice softened as he continued, explaining the event for his benefit. “The masquerade ball happens yearly, at the spring equinox - the date in the spring when both night and day are equal in length. It is our way of bidding goodbye to the winter, where the nights are the longest, to make way for the shortest nights of the year in the summer. The ball lasts from sundown to sunrise, and every vampire in the area will be there.”

“And it’s a masquerade?” Seonghwa asked, receiving a round of nods from the vampires all around him. 

“Yes, but the masks only cover part of the face - the vampires will still know who we are. Who you are. You will be at my side the entire time, and I will not allow anything to happen to you. By the time the night is finished, no one will dare to lay a hand on you, not when they understand how important you are to me. Okay?” 

All of this information at once was a lot to process, and the fever wasn’t helping either, muddling all of Seonghwa’s thoughts. Perhaps he would have more to say about this later, but he was sure that any of these vampires would be more than willing to talk to him about it then. “Okay,” he agreed, hiding a yawn behind his palm. “What… what do I wear? I don’t have a mask, either.” 

“Leave that to me,” Hongjoong said, moving closer to Seonghwa’s couch and resting a hand against his shoulder. “I will take care of it. Do not worry.” 

Too fatigued to protest, Seonghwa just nodded, lying back against the pillow again as he pulled his blanket tighter around himself. The others continued to speak about a few other details in the meantime, but he had lost the capability to focus on their words, unfamiliar as he was with the vampire terminology they used. He would ask Hongjoong for more information at another time; nothing would stick in his mind now anyway. 

Eventually, their meeting dissolved, the other vampires leaving the fireplace area in favor of doing other things, still talking amongst themselves. Hongjoong stayed by Seonghwa’s side, however, the last lingering traces of rage finally leaving his frame as he knelt down once more, taking one of Seonghwa’s hands into two of his own, cradling it gently. 

“I am sorry for all of that,” he murmured, entirely sincere. “I know you are not in the state to deal with such information now, and we can discuss this more later, just you and me. But for now, let Yunho look you over. Please, for my sake; otherwise, I will not be able to cease my worrying over you.” 

Looking past Hongjoong, Seonghwa noted that Yunho had also stuck around, holding the thermometer in his more practiced hands. “Okay,” Seonghwa croaked, wincing at the pain in his throat. “Thanks.” 

Yunho came closer, and Seonghwa opened his mouth when prompted, allowing the thermometer to slide beneath his tongue. The reading didn’t take long, and once the thermometer beeped Yunho pulled it back and looked down at the small display. “Definitely a fever,” he said, although he kept a soft smile on his lips to alleviate any potential anxiety caused by the words. “It is a bit high, but it’ll go down. Looks to me just like a regular bout of illness - happens often to humans around this time of year.” 

He looked pointedly at Hongjoong as he continued, nudging him in the ribs. “He needs rest, and plenty of water, but he’ll be fine. Don’t pester him.” His grin turned more teasing now, eyes regaining their usual life. “Get him anything he needs, and he’ll be okay within a day or two. I’m appointing you as his personal nurse.”

Seonghwa gave him an exasperated look, but he just winked. “Use that to your advantage,” he said as he tucked away the thermometer in his lab coat, stepping away from the couch. “He’ll do anything for you, you know.” 

With that, he headed after the others, his final words hanging in the air as Seonghwa was again left alone with Hongjoong. “Do you need anything right now?” Hongjoong asked, completely willing to help in any way possible. It was sweet, and even though he felt like shit, Seonghwa had to smile. 

“Not right now, it’s okay,” he appeased, letting his eyes fall closed. “To be honest, I just want to sleep for a little bit.” 

“Go to sleep, then,” Hongjoong said easily, still holding Seonghwa’s hand. “I’ll stay here with you, okay? So you won't have to worry about anything except getting better.” 

“Thanks,” Seonghwa murmured, his consciousness already being pulled down by the force of his exhaustion. The last thing he felt was the coldness of Hongjoong’s hands, before everything fell away at once. 

~

Seonghwa woke up later to an even worse headache, his entire body wracked by chills, the kind that traveled all the way down to the bone. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes, and sure enough, Hongjoong was still there watching him. It had to be daytime by now, but all of the windows had been covered, the flickering firelight illuminating one side of Hongjoong’s face. 

A groan escaped Seonghwa’s lips as he tried to swallow, for his throat hurt far worse now. Everything hurt worse, and Hongjoong immediately took note of this as well, the corners of his mouth turning downwards. “Oh, darling,” he breathed, touching one of his cold hands to the flaming skin along Seonghwa’s forehead, “you’re so warm. You do not feel well, do you?” 

When Seonghwa attempted to shake his head, sharp aches flared all along his neck, his face scrunching in a wince. “No,” he whispered, unable to find his voice at all. “H-hurts. Everything hurts.” 

“Would you like for me to carry you upstairs?” Hongjoong asked, keeping his voice soft, brushing the back of his hand against Seonghwa’s cheek. Seonghwa leaned into the touch as he nodded, relishing the coldness against his burning skin. “Okay, love. I will take care of you, I promise.” 

Even with his mind addled and his body aching, Seonghwa held no doubt that he was speaking the truth. When Hongjoong’s arms slid beneath him, he fell right into the touch, wrapping his arms around Hongjoong’s neck. He didn’t even try to hold his head up, letting it fall against Hongjoong’s still chest, cold and lifeless. 

Hongjoong carried him up the stairs and down the hallway, bypassing his own room to open Seonghwa’s door instead. Once inside, he gently pulled back the comforter and set Seonghwa down on the bed, covering him up and tucking the blankets around his body. Seonghwa curled in on himself immediately, his vision swimming, slightly blurred and unsteady. 

Gentle hands carded through his hair, brushing it back from his face, and again Seonghwa leaned into that cold touch. His lips parted, and the words fell right out, a stream of consciousness from his mind to his mouth. He wasn’t aware of what he was saying, and he didn’t have the capacity to care either. “Please stay,” he slurred, his voice hoarse and quiet. “Don’ want you to go.” 

“I will stay,” Hongjoong promised, crouching down beside the bed to keep his face at Seonghwa’s eye level. “You do not need to worry about that. I will watch over you.” 

Seonghwa tried to say something else, but instead a hacking cough erupted from his mouth, shaking through his entire frame. It went on for several long moments, and Hongjoong’s hand started to rub at his back, somewhat frantic. “Breathe, darling,” he insisted, eyes wide. “You must breathe.” 

By the time Seonghwa managed to gain control over his coughing, tears were streaming from his eyes, tracing paths down his cheeks. He hated feeling like this, so helpless and out of control, and even once the coughs stopped the tears didn’t. “I don’t feel good,” he choked out, blinking up at Hongjoong. 

“Oh, I know,” Hongjoong murmured, and he looked like he wanted to cry as well, expression stricken. “I wish I could take all of the bad feelings away from you, to leave you only with good ones. I would feel them instead, if I could.” 

Seonghwa sniffled, wiping his nose with the blanket, shaking despite the temperature of his skin. “C-can you come here?” he asked, because with his mind so shaken by this fever, he was feeling more vulnerable than ever. 

“I’m here, darling,” Hongjoong reassured, cupping Seonghwa’s cheek with his hand, but Seonghwa shook his head because that wasn’t what he had meant. 

“No,” he murmured, frustrated with his own inability to articulate himself as he normally would. “Can you - can you hold me? Like you do sometimes, after you feed from me.” He felt guilty asking, a strange pressure building his chest, pushing at the walls of his ribcage. 

But Hongjoong complied without a word of protest, climbing onto the bed and settling into the space behind Seonghwa’s small, curled-up form, wrapping an arm over him. Hongjoong stayed above the blankets, and a sharp pang shot through Seonghwa’s chest. 

“Is this okay?” Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa didn’t understand why his eyes began to burn, squeezing them closed to keep any tears from welling. He nodded, his heart racing as his breath escaped in short bursts. Nothing felt right, nothing but the hand wrapped around his middle, and he hated himself for wanting more than that. 

He clenched his jaw, trying not to cry, wanting to burrow deeper into Hongjoong’s arms while simultaneously knowing that he shouldn’t. All he had done since he had come to live here was take and take. The only thing he ever had to give was blood, and even then, Hongjoong hadn’t drank from him in weeks, not since Wooyoung’s loss of control. 

He was beginning to wonder if Hongjoong had changed his mind, if he had done something wrong without even realizing it. And now that his natural defenses were lowered due to his illness, he couldn’t ignore the thought as it rose to the front of his mind, overcoming everything else. Hongjoong’s arm burned around his waist, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to scream or cry or both. 

Instead, he settled for holding all of it in, but he wasn’t exactly in the right state to execute that very well either. He didn’t even realize that his body had started to tremble until Hongjoong shifted behind him, leaning over to get a better look at Seonghwa’s face. “Why are you shaking, darling?” he asked, voice laced with concern. “What is wrong?” 

Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut harder, biting down on his lip hard enough to draw blood, trying not to cry. However, Hongjoong sensed that as well, shifting his arm to gently pull Seonghwa’s lip from between his teeth with the pad of his thumb. “Seonghwa, what is it?” he pressed, more insistent now as he sat up fully, his touch disappearing. “Talk to me, please. Do you feel sick? Should I get Yunho?” 

Shaking his head, Seonghwa dared to open his eyes, still curled up and staring at the wall, for if he looked at Hongjoong he knew he would break down completely. “Do - do you feel sick?” he asked instead, the words strangled. 

“You cannot get me sick, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong reminded, and even without looking at his face, his confusion was evident. “You do not have to worry about that.” 

But that wasn’t what Seonghwa meant at all, and he struggled to breathe now, phlegm clogging his throat as he coughed into his pillow. “N-no, I don’t mean-” Another cough burst out of him, and there was Hongjoong’s hand on his back again, rubbing calming circles into his skin, through his shirt. It wasn’t enough - Seonghwa wanted him to touch his heated skin, just like he had done that other time, when he had been equally upset. “Does it make you feel sick to - to be around me?” 

“Seonghwa… what are you saying?” Hongjoong sounded upset now, and he moved his hand to brush underneath Seonghwa’s chin, forcing him to look away from the wall and towards the vampire in his bed. So with his eyes bloodshot and his lips quivering, Seonghwa allowed his face to be turned, staring back at Hongjoong at last. 

The sight of him was enough to make the tears fall, and Seonghwa didn’t bother to brush them away, for more would only take their place. “Why would you say that?” Hongjoong said, keeping his hand against Seonghwa’s face, his touch so gentle. Always so gentle. “I love being around you. That is why I always seek you out as soon as I wake.” 

“You don’ drink from me anymore,” Seonghwa mumbled. “I’m healed, I’ve been healed for days, and you still haven’t - haven’t even mentioned it. Did I do something wrong? Something to make you not want to - to be close to me like that anymore?” 

Hongjoong’s jaw went slack, lashes dusting against his cheeks as he blinked, eyes wide. “What? I - no, I do not feel that way. I do not feel that way at all. Darling, why did you not tell me you were feeling like this?”

“Thought you had enough of me,” Seonghwa admitted, trying to avert his gaze again, but Hongjoong’s hand kept his head from moving. 

He couldn’t stop crying, the tears seeping into his mouth, trailing over the ledge of his chin and down along the hollow of his throat. His chest hurt, and he didn’t know how to make it go away. Talking about it now was only making it worse, and he couldn’t bear the look on Hongjoong’s face. 

“Seonghwa, I promise you that is not true. You were healing, and even though the physical wounds are now healed, that does not mean the mental ones are gone as well. I did not want to push you to revisit the feeding process when you were just recently hurt in that same manner. That was a traumatic experience that you went through. I would never begrudge you for needing time to heal from it.” 

A small sob escaped Seonghwa’s lips before he could hold it back. “Everything in my entire life has been traumatic.” He huffed a shaky laugh, although it wasn’t funny. It wasn’t funny at all. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being defined by all of the traumatic things other people have done to me. It doesn’t seem like I’m living much of a life at all, if that’s the case.” 

Seonghwa stared up at the ceiling for a moment, blinking back more tears. He was still lying back with his head against the pillow, while Hongjoong was sitting up, silhouetted by the light of the lamp on the opposite bedside table. “Oh, love,” Hongjoong murmured, and the softness of the word broke Seonghwa’s heart. 

He pushed on, because now that he had started he couldn’t stop. “I want to have the courage to ask you to hold me when I’m not high on the drug in your saliva or sick out of my mind, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want something so simple as touch to rule my life, but I can’t help it.”

“It does not make me feel sick when I touch you.” Honesty dripped from Hongjoong’s words, tender in a manner that Seonghwa feared. “I love to hold you. Every time you have asked me to do that… it makes me feel happy.” 

His words were so honest, so kind, just like always. Even when Seonghwa was a crying mess, his cheeks wet and his nose running and his face red, Hongjoong still looked at him like he was something special. 

“That’s what scares me,” Seonghwa admitted, chills erupting over his arms. “I like it too. But I’m afraid, because - because I’ve never liked being touched before. With Wooyoung, that was different - that kind of touch wasn’t the same as the way that you touch me. And I like the way you touch me, when I never have before. I…” His voice cracked, fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. “I didn’t know hands could be gentle until I felt yours.” 

Hongjoong moved his other hand to touch Seonghwa’s face as well, brushing away his tears with both of his thumbs. “I’m so sorry,” he murmured, cradling Seonghwa’s face like he was something precious. 

With a shuddering inhale, Seonghwa rolled his lips together, trying to find the right words. He had never spoken about any of this before, but all of the sudden he needed to. He needed Hongjoong to understand why he was like this, why he dodged his emotions in the light and indulged his hidden desires only when his defenses were down. 

“A lot of people have touched me in… bad ways,” he said, jaw trembling. “Violent ways. Ways I didn’t want. So it feels wrong for me to ask you to hold me because I’m not supposed to like it. I’m not supposed to like being touched, I never have. But you…” Another sob fell from his lips, and he pressed his lips together until he was able to finish. “You’re the exception, and you terrify me.” 

A brief silence followed his words as Hongjoong just stared at him, something changing in his expression. The concern was still there, now mixed with horror and something like devastation as well. Seonghwa couldn’t bear to look at it, but he also couldn’t bring himself to look away. 

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong breathed, and for a moment, that was all he said. They stared at once another, neither of their eyes dry anymore. “It is not wrong for you to want to be touched by someone who is never going to hurt you. I will never hurt you. And if you’ve gone your entire life without a kind touch, it is normal for your body to crave it now. We all need affection; humans and vampires alike. There is nothing wrong with you. There never has been.” 

He paused, closing his eyes for a brief moment, muscles shifting in his jaw. “There is something wrong with the people who have hurt you. And I… god, I wish I knew who they were, because I would kill them all if it would make you feel less afraid. I wish I could have been there for you back then. I never would have let anyone touch you like that.” 

Seonghwa burst into another round of coughs then, his body falling limp by the time it was over, completely exhausted. His eyes were still leaking tears, but the worst of his sobs had stopped, mostly because he didn’t have the strength to cry any longer. “I pretend none of that happened, most of the time,” he admitted, because he felt safe enough to say it. “But when you touch me… sometimes it’s hard to pretend.” 

“I am so sorry,” Hongjoong breathed, stricken. “If I have crossed lines that I am not meant to cross. That has never been my intention. I know I can be somewhat forward when it comes to you, but I am so sorry if I have made you recall parts of your life you would rather forget. I am so, so sorry.” 

But Seonghwa shook his head, wrapping his fingers around Hongjoong’s wrist, because that wasn’t what he had meant. “No, it’s not - I don’t mean it like that. If you made me uncomfortable, I would have said so. One thing I’ve learned over time is how to defend myself, and I would not hesitate to do so if I felt I needed to. If anyone else did or said the things that you have, I wouldn’t like it, but… it’s you, so it’s different.” 

He couldn’t explain it any better than that, but Hongjoong seemed to understand. With a nod, he pulled his hands back from Seonghwa’s face, catching his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before letting it go. He seemed as if he wanted to say something, his fingers fiddling with his shirt, like he wanted to reach out but didn’t want to cross a line. 

So instead, Seonghwa was the one to break the silence, because he needed Hongjoong’s touch with the same urgency that he needed food, or water, or warmth. “Will you hold me for a little while?”

Hongjoong blinked in surprise, and then he nodded, finally settling back down beside Seonghwa. He wrapped his arm over Seonghwa’s waist again, but he seemed a bit nervous now. “Please, don’t act different because of what I told you,” Seonghwa rasped. “I can’t take it if you do that. You can touch me, it’s okay. You can come under the blanket.” 

He heard it when Hongjoong took a breath, but then he did as prompted, sliding under the blanket. Now when he wrapped his arms around Seonghwa, nothing separated them other than their clothes, his cold skin soothing Seonghwa’s fever-induced heat. Finally, all of Seonghwa’s tension melted away as he dissolved into Hongjoong’s hold, the tears drying down against his cheeks. 

Chin resting against Seonghwa’s shoulder, Hongjoong held him close, holding his hand over Seonghwa’s heart just as he had done that other time. “You still have to make the song,” Seonghwa whispered, blinking hard in order to keep his heavy eyelids open. “Remember?”

“Of course I remember,” Hongjoong murmured, his voice tickling Seonghwa’s ear. “Maybe tomorrow, if you feel better. Hm?”

Seonghwa nodded. “Okay.” He hoped he would feel better tomorrow, because he still had the feedings on his mind as well. “You can feed from me again, too,” he said, speech slurred from exhaustion. “Right?” 

“If you feel up to it, then yes. And if you aren’t comfortable with the neck, we can use the wrist instead.” He brushed a section of hair away from Seonghwa’s neck, and then he pressed his lips to Seonghwa’s neck, right over the scars that Wooyoung had left behind. Seonghwa thought for a moment that he was about to feed right then, but then Hongjoong pulled his lips back only to touch his mouth to the area again, and Seonghwa realized that they were kisses. 

His breathing hitched, but not in a bad way. He didn’t want Hongjoong to stop, and with every press of the vampire’s lips, he swore that a small part of his heart healed. Hongjoong pressed a kiss over every scar on Seonghwa’s neck, both the old and the new, and once he was finished he spoke again, right beside Seonghwa’s ear. 

“You are beautiful, scars and all,” he murmured. “I would kiss your invisible scars too, if I could.” 

Seonghwa shivered, and he was sure that Hongjoong could feel how his heart rate had increased. “Thank you.” He didn’t elaborate, because he couldn’t find the words, but he didn’t need to. Hongjoong kissed the shell of his ear, and Seonghwa knew he understood. 

~

The fever lasted for two days more, but it remained low for the rest of the time, not obstructing Seonghwa’s entire existence like it had on the first day. He still remained in bed most of the time, although not always by choice; Hongjoong was quite adamant in his insistence that Seonghwa rest until he was entirely better. Seonghwa couldn’t even find it in himself to be annoyed by it, for he was mostly just grateful that someone cared about him enough to fuss in such a way. 

However, as soon as he was feeling better, he was eager to let Hongjoong feed from him. He had been surviving on blood bags for weeks, and the entire reason why Seonghwa was even in this coven house was to provide blood on a steady basis. If he couldn't even do that, then he had little purpose at all. 

After waking up with no fever, Seonghwa had finally eaten a meal that consisted of more than just soup, filling his stomach before setting out to find the coven leader. Hongjoong was in his room, as he often was, and Seonghwa had rapped his knuckles against the door despite all of the times Hongjoong had told him that he could come in whenever he wanted. 

The last thing he wanted was to barge in on Hongjoong while he was in some state of nakedness; he felt flustered enough around the vampire on a regular basis. If he were to see him partially clothed, he had a feeling he would make a complete fool of himself. 

Hongjoong had called for him to come inside, and the two of them now sat upon the bed, Hongjoong’s eyes twin pools of concern. “Are you sure it will be okay?” he asked, his accent always so beautiful no matter how many times Seonghwa listened to him speak. “I think it may be best if I drink from your wrist, at least for this one time. I do not want to cause you to panic.” 

Exhaling a long breath, Seonghwa just nodded. An argument wouldn’t change anything, and he knew that Hongjoong’s concern came from a place of care. “Okay, the wrist is fine,” he agreed, pushing up his left sleeve to expose the smooth skin along the inside of his forearm. His skin was paler now, a result of the winter chill. 

He shifted closer to Hongjoong, who took his wrist into gentle hands, cold as always. For a moment, Hongjoong simply brushed the pad of his thumb against the skin of Seonghwa’s wrist, looking down at the blue veins that colored the area in thin lines. He had to be thirsty for blood from the source rather than from a bag, but he never showed even a moment of lost control. 

“How do you manage to keep yourself so controlled?” Seonghwa asked, unable to help the question. “I know that fledglings can’t, but even older vampires… I thought that they would still lose control sometimes around blood. Is that just another myth that humans perpetuate?” 

Hongjoong looked up from Seonghwa’s wrist, considering this. “Not necessarily,” he answered, always so wise about such topics, considering how long he had been alive. Sometimes it freaked Seonghwa out to think that this man, who appeared to be in his mid-twenties, had actually been alive for many major events in history. How could the two of them still connect so well, despite that? It was a puzzle, one that he was powerless to decipher. 

He raised Seonghwa’s wrist higher, holding it just below his chin, not sinking his fangs into the skin just yet. “That can be the case, because control is something that vampires need to make an effort to learn. It is not an innate ability. If a vampire does not value human life in the first place, then they will not care if they hurt or kill someone. That is part of why the time before the peace negotiations was so dark - now, with consequences in place, most vampires are more conscious of themselves and others.” 

Seonghwa nodded, satisfied with that answer, and he watched as Hongjoong opened his mouth, the tips of his fangs touching Seonghwa’s skin now. This was different from the other times, because he had never actually watched Hongjoong drink from him before, as the angle of their usual feedings made it impossible for him to see. 

But now, he was able to maintain eye contact with Hongjoong as those fangs sunk into his wrist, drawing a soft gasp from his lips. A small amount of blood rose from the area, smudging against Hongjoong’s lips and making nausea twist in Seonghwa’s stomach, but the drug from his saliva immediately kicked in, numbing the wound as well as his reaction to seeing the blood. Seonghwa couldn’t tear his eyes away, fascinated by the sight of those lips pressed against his skin, the slight pressure of every suck drawing blood from the wound. 

After about a minute, Hongjoong withdrew his fangs in order to speak, his teeth dyed crimson. He looked wild like this, in a way that he never had before; he was always so put together, so composed. But now, blood had rubbed part way onto his cheek, and his eyes were dark with an emotion that stirred something in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach. He watched as Hongjoong cleared away the blood on his teeth with his tongue, wiping his cheek with the heel of his palm.

“After this,” he started, and he was actually out of breath, “I will record the beat of your heart. Once you are relaxed.” All Seonghwa could do was nod, and then Hongjoong was ducking his head down again, his fangs returning to Seonghwa’s wrist to continue to draw blood from his flesh. 

Seonghwa was sitting up this time, and he only lasted in that position for a few minutes before he started to slump, his mind growing fuzzy as it always did during a feed. Using his free hand, Hongjoong guided Seonghwa down to lie back against the pillows, his eyes never leaving Seonghwa’s face. There was something so intimate about this, even more so than when he drank from Seonghwa’s neck, and part of Seonghwa hoped that it would never end. 

He didn’t have any kind of negative reaction to the feeding, not even after what had happened with Wooyoung, and he noticed when Hongjoong began to relax as well, drawing blood with renewed vigor. In a way, watching him feed was beautiful, a form of survival that never should have been possible. As far as Seonghwa knew, mostly because of countless conversations with Yunho, the existence of vampires was still not entirely understood. He wondered if that would ever change. 

Parting his lips to say something, Seonghwa struggled for a moment, swallowing with difficulty before he found his voice. “How did vampires come to exist?” he asked, his voice a bit slurred now. “Do you know?” 

Hongjoong hummed, although he didn’t answer straight away, finishing the feeding first. It didn’t take much longer, and then he was pulling back again, running his tongue over his lips to clear away the last of the blood. He dipped his head to lick over the wounds, and they healed right before Seonghwa’s eyes, his breath hitching in surprise. 

“Wow,” he breathed, and Hongjoong smiled at that, sucking at his fangs with his tongue for a moment to remove any blood that still stained his teeth. 

“Let me retrieve my tape recorder, and then I will explain what I know,” Hongjoong murmured, reaching out to cup Seonghwa’s cheek for a moment before pulling back and reaching for the bedside table. Seonghwa watched his every movement, taking note of how the muscles in his back shifted beneath the silk shirt that draped over his shoulders. He was always wearing garments like that, classic and well-made. Seonghwa knew very little about clothing, but Hongjoong’s entire wardrobe had to be worth a sizable fortune. 

He retrieved a small black device from one of the drawers, turning back to Seonghwa and setting it down right over his chest. Immediately, Seonghwa’s heart rate began to pick up in anticipation as he blinked up at the vampire hovering over him. “There is a blank tape in here, so when I press this button, it will record the sound of your heartbeat. But you have to be quiet, okay?” 

Seonghwa nodded, not making a sound as Hongjoong pressed the aforementioned button, a clicking sound signaling the start of the recording. Heart pounding in his ears, Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong, his cheeks warming. Hongjoong took his hand, and Seonghwa knew that the tape would reflect the continual increase in the pace of his heartbeat, for Hongjoong always had that effect on him. 

After a few more seconds, Hongjoong ended the recording, that same clicking sound filling the air. “Done,” he said, letting go of Seonghwa’s hand with a grin and setting the tape recorder to the side. “I will make a song for you.” 

“Thanks,” Seonghwa mumbled, his face burning as he tried to recall his earlier question, the drug warping his mind. “What did I ask you before?” 

Hongjoong chuckled, lying down on his side to face Seonghwa, their legs touching. By now, he knew that Seonghwa didn’t like to be apart from him in this vulnerable state, and he always obliged. “About how vampirism came to be. No one knows the true origins, but I can tell you as much as I know, okay?” 

When Seonghwa nodded, he continued, his accent turning the story into something more fabled, more entrancing. “The most common explanation centers around necromancy. Do you know what that is?” 

“Tryin’ to, um, bring back dead people,” Seonghwa said, not in his most eloquent state, but Hongjoong grinned as he nodded. 

“Somewhat, yes. Necromancy was outlawed long ago, and it relies heavily on a belief in magic, or at least in the otherworldly, which leads to a lack of belief in the story I am about to tell you. But as vampires are an anomaly in the first place, a certain degree of magic is necessary, in my opinion.

“Necromancy does not always mean raising the dead, although necromancers were often people who had some kind of connection to the dead, often in the form of unresolved grief or tragedy. Necromancers more typically would call upon the dead to assist them in ways that the living cannot. However, it is common knowledge that to engage in necromancy is to surrender your soul, given the unnatural essence of the practice.” 

Chills spread over Seonghwa’s skin, and he shivered at the mere thought of speaking to dead spirits, raising them from the afterlife for purely selfish reasons. “I feel bad for the dead people,” he whispered, stumbling over the words. “They should be able to rest.” 

“I do agree with you,” Hongjoong replied, his expression softening. “But some people lose sight of morals, and will do anything to achieve their goal. In the case of vampirism, the story starts with eight people. Some were men, some were women, although the exact identities of these people have been long buried by history. They were necromancers, and they wanted to contact the dead in order to extend their own lifespans.” 

Seonghwa hung onto his every word, processing everything with a bit of a delay, but Hongjoong spoke slowly for his sake. “Immortality is a desirable notion on the surface, but as you examine the implications, it is not so great after all. To be immortal means to live forever in a world full of mortals. As you evade death, you thus cannot escape the deaths of those around you. You will never grow, you will never change, at least not outwardly. You are essentially frozen in time, while the rest of the world continues to turn.” 

He was speaking from experience, that much was evident, and Seonghwa frowned. This wasn’t the first time he had thought about what it meant to be immortal, but now that his defenses were lowered, he didn’t shove away the topic as easily as he normally did. 

If he had found a place here in this coven house at last, how long would it last? He wouldn’t live forever, not like the people around him, and he would grow and change. He would not always be young like this; perhaps Hongjoong showed interest in him now, but that would not always be the case. 

Stomach twisting, he listened as Hongjoong continued, but he couldn’t shake his dread. “However, these eight people still strived for immortality in spite of the pitfalls. They continually summoned the dead, but every spirit dissipated before they could accomplish their goal. The souls of regular mortals were not strong enough for their purposes, do you understand?” 

He waited for Seonghwa to nod, shadows pooling in the sockets of his eyes. “So they shifted their focus, and instead of summoning the souls of regular people, they began to target specific men and women of history. People who had performed miracles, who could be thought to have possessed a momentary magic of their own.” 

“Like who?” Seonghwa asked, his brows drawing together, not quite able to understand what Hongjoong meant. 

“I do not know the precise names, but I will give you an example. They resurrected a person who had managed to survive alone in a frigid cold environment for months, far longer than should have been possible. Their survival alone was a miracle, because any other person would have perished in that time. Similarly, they resurrected another person who should have died from an illness, but managed to miraculously heal overnight, an unexplainable feat for a human being,” he explained. “Even now, miracles do happen, albeit rarely. They raised people like that.”

Seonghwa understood now, and he gestured for Hongjoong to continue, invested in the story now. “They summoned those souls on purpose, because they prevailed in life, and they hoped their souls would prevail equally in death. And, true to their expectations, the souls of those people did not dissipate as easily as others.

“However, what they did not count on was how their wish would be granted. The necromancers told the spirits that they desired immortality, no matter the cost. Each of the eight souls they had summoned thus entered their bodies, granting them the immortality that comes from being undead. Their bodies died, but their souls were eternal, keeping them alive despite having no heartbeat. Those eight people were the first vampires.”

His earlier mention of the resurrected soul of someone who had healed miraculously from a terminal illness still stuck in Seonghwa’s mind, because it sounded so familiar. He recalled how Hongjoong had shown him the healing abilities of their bloodline, how he had watched his skin stitch back together right before his eyes. 

“That’s how the different kinds of vampires exist,” Seonghwa said, his mind starting to clear up a bit now. In the time it had taken for Hongjoong to tell the story, the drug had run its course. “Something to do with - with the miracles, right? If one of those souls had experienced that kind of healing… the vampire that was created when the soul of that person melded with the soul of one of the necromancers created your bloodline, didn’t it?” 

Hongjoong looked at him appraisingly, brows rising. “Yes, exactly. You figured it out - you are quite smart, you know.” Seonghwa blushed at that, a glimmer of pride swelling in his chest. He had never been someone often regarded as smart, considering his upbringing and lack of opportunity. It was a nice feeling. 

“But yes, that is the story. That is thought to be the origin of the eight bloodlines, and the start of vampirism in general. None of those vampires are still alive, but we commonly refer to them as the ‘original vampires’. They were executed a very long time ago, well before I was born, but their bloodthirst led them to turn other vampires before that.” 

Another question rose to the forefront of Seonghwa’s mind, and he felt comfortable enough around Hongjoong to ask it, although he probably should have known the answer already. “How are vampires actually turned?” Hongjoong looked at him, surprised, and he blushed. “I know that a bite alone does not turn someone - it has to do with the person ingesting the blood of the vampire first, right? Before they turn?” 

Hongjoong nodded. “Yes. Much like the story I just told you, the human needs to acquire a part of the vampire’s body in order to turn. In the case of those necromancers, the souls of the dead infiltrated their bodies. In current times, if a human ingests the blood of a vampire, or any other part of their body - flesh, bone, anything of that nature - they are at risk to be turned. However, a vampire must then drink from them, and they must lose enough of their blood supply to be pronounced biologically dead. Only then will they be reborn as a vampire.” 

Immediately, Seonghwa raised his hand to his own neck, touching the scars there, both old and new. He knew the feeling of fangs sinking into his skin, both gently and with zero regard for his safety, and he shivered. “I don’t think I could ever bear to go through that,” he murmured, his saliva bitter in his mouth. “When I die, I want to stay dead.” 

Something in Hongjoong’s face changed, and he stared at Seonghwa for a long moment, his lips quivering so slightly that Seonghwa nearly missed it. “Are you… okay?” he asked, and Hongjoong looked down, avoiding Seonghwa’s gaze as he nodded. 

“Yes, I am fine,” he said, mustering a smile, although it did not reach his eyes. “Would you like to join me in seeing what the others are doing?” 

For a moment, Seonghwa could only blink, the calm atmosphere of their conversation now melting away. “Um, okay,” he agreed, and Hongjoong rose from the bed. Usually, he was the one who wanted to prolong their time alone, and Seonghwa frowned. “Are you sure you’re-”

“I am fine,” Hongjoong said again, heading for the door, looking back at Seonghwa with his hand on the doorknob. “Come with me, darling. I want to start composing my song for you.” 

Seonghwa complied, rising from the bed and following Hongjoong out the door, but he couldn’t shake the idea that something was different. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #18: Vampires may maintain any customs amongst their kind that do not negatively affect humans. Any harmful customs must be eradicated. 

~

On the day of the spring equinox masquerade, Seonghwa woke up in the early afternoon, anticipation already swirling in the pit of his stomach. Winter had come and gone, not quite as snowy as other years, although the air was still frigid even during mid-March. He pulled a soft cardigan around his shoulders before leaving his room, his slippers sliding against the ground as he headed for the stairs. 

Upon reaching the first floor, he discovered that he wasn’t the only one awake, for Wooyoung and San were sitting on two of the kitchen barstools, speaking in hushed tones. Seonghwa had learned recently that the stained glass windows that exposed the outside sunlight were specially made to block the rays themselves, keeping the vampires safe even during the day as long as they were inside. 

He stopped a safe distance away from Wooyoung and San, clearing his throat gently into his fist, not wanting to intrude on the two of them if they would rather be alone. As they both turned around to look in his direction, he noticed the blood bag in Wooyoung’s shaky hands, the sickly pallor of his skin. 

Taking another step back, Seonghwa raised a hand in greeting, trying to ignore the anxiety that constricted his throat, partially obstructing his breathing. He looked Wooyoung in the eye, and he was relieved to find that his irises were the same color as always, such a deep brown that they sometimes appeared black. Not red like they had been when he had lost control of himself. 

Still, all three of them were thinking of that time now, a weighted silence settling between them. Seonghwa stood several paces away from the two vampires at the kitchen island, sucking in a shaky breath. “Um, are you okay, Wooyoung? I can go if - if you think I shouldn’t be here, I don’t mind-” 

“No, I’m okay,” Wooyoung insisted, and he mustered up a smile, although his eyes still held a certain degree of sadness. “I’ve been getting a lot better with blood, but today is just… proving to be a bit more difficult than normal. I’m nervous about the masquerade, that’s all. I’ve never gone either.” 

Sometimes Seonghwa forgot that Wooyoung was almost as new to this world as he was, and his words struck sympathy within Seonghwa’s heart. “I understand,” he murmured, for he had been grappling with his own nerves for weeks. “But Hongjoong said that if we don’t feel comfortable at any point, he’ll take us home. What’s making you nervous, angel?” 

Wooyoung smiled softly at the name, shrugging his shoulders. “San was telling me that there are a lot of feeders at events like that. Feeders who belong to other vampires, but also feeders who can just be… passed around, for anyone to drink from. And obviously I would never want to drink from one of those people, but I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to stay in control.” 

“I told you that simply to prepare you,” San murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to Wooyoung’s temple. “You’re going to be just fine, because none of us are going to leave you alone at any point. I’ll be with you the entire time.” 

“If you drink now, you won’t have to worry,” Seonghwa pointed out, gesturing to the blood bag in Wooyoung’s hands. “I know you’re nervous, but if you’re already full, you won’t feel hungry around those people, right?” 

Wooyoung looked down at the blood bag, staring at it for a moment before nodding. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he murmured, squishing the sides of the bag and watching the blood shift inside. Seonghwa made the conscious effort to not look too closely at the bag, squeamish at the sight of blood even when contained like this. “It doesn’t taste so bad to me, anymore. I’m getting better.” 

That made Seonghwa smile, for he had noticed the change on his own, even without hearing those words from Wooyoung. He had been brighter recently, less sensitive and more carefree, just as he should be. The burden on his shoulders was slowly diminishing; after attacking Seonghwa that day, he had taken it upon himself to overcome the barriers to his own wellbeing. “I’m so proud of you,” he said, heart warming when Wooyoung smiled. 

“I don’t think I’ll be a fledgling for much longer. That’s what Hongjoong told me a few days ago, when I talked to him about it.” That was news to Seonghwa, his brows rising in surprise. “There’s no set amount of time that a vampire spends as a fledgling, but once control is fully mastered and I become self-sufficient, I won’t be a fledgling anymore. Right, Sannie?” 

Resting his arm over Wooyoung’s shoulders, San nodded. “Yes. When a vampire is first turned, they can’t grasp all of the changes they experienced in such a short period of time. That’s the purpose of a sire; to teach the fledgling how to survive in a way that isn’t harmful to themselves or others. There’s a lot more to the fledgling-sire bond… it’s kind of hard to explain when you haven’t experienced it, but that’s the gist. But Wooyoung is getting to the point where he’ll be independent soon enough.” 

“But I’ll still always need you,” Wooyoung said, and San ruffled his hair, dimples showing when he smiled. 

The mention of the fledgling-sire bond made Seonghwa think of something else, however, and he frowned. “How does a fledgling survive if the sire doesn’t stay with them?” he asked, mind turning. All of the vampires were used to him asking such questions now, for what they regarded as common knowledge was still entirely new to him. “Like, um, Hongjoong, for example. How did he survive?” 

San looked towards Seonghwa, the smile fading from his lips. “It’s difficult. I didn’t have to experience that, because even though I was turned before I came to Seoul, my sire stuck around at least. But even if another vampire steps in to fill the role of sire, the connection will never be the same as a fledgling and the one who turned them. It requires an immense amount of control, and from what I know, it’s a torturous process. Hongjoong never really talks about it.” 

It hurt to even imagine Hongjoong going through that kind of pain, for Seonghwa was so used to him being the wise, experienced vampire that he was now. But back then, he had been just as naive as Wooyoung, and no one had been there to guide him through it. The thought soured his mood, and he bit the inside of his cheek, taking care not to draw any blood for Wooyoung’s sake. 

“That’s awful,” he murmured, his voice a bit strained now as he scrambled to change the subject. Wooyoung was already struggling enough, the last thing he needed was to hear about his coven leader’s traumatic past. Seonghwa had no idea how much the others knew compared to himself, and it didn’t feel right to discuss Hongjoong when he wasn’t present. “I’m glad you two have each other. I think if you drink that blood, Wooyoung, you’ll be okay for the masquerade. Who knows, maybe you’ll even have fun.” 

That drew a small smile out of Wooyoung, and his hands weren’t shaking as much anymore. “I used to love dancing,” he admitted, the tips of his fangs showing from behind his lips. “Before my mom died. I wasn’t a professional or anything, but I had fun.” 

“There’s a lot of dancing at the masquerade,” San said, resting one elbow on the countertop, his posture more relaxed now that Wooyoung didn’t appear quite as anxious. “It can be quite fun, if you ignore everyone else who is there. We don’t always get along great with the other covens, but we mostly keep to ourselves at the ball anyway. It reminds me of parties back when I was human; a lot of classical music, ballroom dancing, that kind of thing.” 

Seonghwa had never experienced anything like that, but he was intrigued by the idea. Being surrounded by vampires from other covens was terrifying, but he trusted Hongjoong. For weeks, Hongjoong had continually promised to keep him safe there, to be at his side at all times, and Seonghwa didn’t doubt the truth behind his words. He had never broken Seonghwa’s trust yet, after all. 

“Oh, the clothes are like that too, aren’t they?” Wooyoung asked, nudging San, who nodded. “Seonghwa, we get to dress like we’re going to a ball, like in the movies. Do you know what I mean?” 

Although he hadn’t seen many movies in his life, Seonghwa was still familiar with the style, and anticipation rose to the apples of his cheeks. “Really?” he asked, and they both nodded, speaking over each other amidst their excitement. Seonghwa grinned, stepping closer now that Wooyoung appeared more comfortable. “Hongjoong said that he would take care of my clothing for the masquerade, but he hasn’t told me anything else.” 

San’s eyes glimmered as he shared a look with Wooyoung. “Oh, Hongjoong doesn’t take this event lightly, you know. He really loves fashion, if you haven’t noticed from what he usually wears. He always makes his own clothing for the masquerade; I wouldn’t be surprised if he made yours too.” 

“He makes it himself?” Seonghwa asked, dumbfounded. He had definitely seen Hongjoong’s creative side, and his own personal style was quite refined, but making clothes required a lot of talent. And a lot of time. “When would he possibly have the time to do that?” 

“He sleeps horribly, as I’m sure you know. Sometimes if he can’t sleep he goes up to the floor where Wooyoung and I sleep, where all of his materials are. The sound of the sewing machine hammering away wakes us up all the time.” San didn’t sound terribly bothered by this, though, his smile never fading. “I can’t wait to see what he made for you.” 

Seonghwa blushed, looking down at his feet. “You don’t know if he made something for me. That’s a lot to do for someone.” 

“Yeah, it is,” Wooyoung said, brows disappearing behind his bangs. “And I’m willing to bet money that he would do that for you.” 

Sensing a shift in conversation, Seonghwa opened his mouth to change the subject, but San spoke before he had the chance. “I think Wooyoung’s right, you know,” he said, eyes sparkling with mischief. He tapped on the blood bag in Wooyoung’s hands, a silent reminder that he still needed to drink it. “I think he would do anything for you.” 

“That’s not - it’s not like that,” Seonghwa stuttered, his face burning now. “We’re bound by a contract. And since he feeds from me regularly, we’re… connected, I guess you could say. But it’s not like whatever you’re insinuating.” 

“What are we insinuating?” Wooyoung asked, blinking innocently. 

Seonghwa rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Drink your blood,” he grumbled, and Wooyoung giggled as he finally sunk his fangs into the side of the blood bag, piercing the thick plastic to drink the blood within. He didn’t struggle with it this time, slowly draining the contents of the bag. He really had come a long way since the beginning, and Seonghwa shared a brief look with San, seeing the same proud look reflected in his eyes. 

With Wooyoung silenced now, Seonghwa sighed, running a hand over his face. “I hope you don’t tease Hongjoong like that,” he said, keeping his voice quiet, which made San laugh. 

“Oh, we tease him a lot more than we tease you,” he replied, which was not reassuring whatsoever. It must have shown on Seonghwa’s face, for San’s laughter only increased. “You have to understand, most of us have known him for a very long time. The way he acts around you is something we have never seen before.” 

That was an interesting piece of information, because Seonghwa couldn’t imagine Hongjoong being any different from the version he knew. Polite but flirtatious, gentle but dangerous, handsome in a borderline unnatural manner. Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the sound of someone descending the stairs reached his ears, and he clamped his lips shut. 

Of course, Hongjoong was the one to appear, and Seonghwa inhaled a deep breath through his nose in an attempt to clear the blush from his cheeks. “Speak of the devil,” San drawled, earning himself a glare from Seonghwa as Hongjoong looked between the three of them, gaze softening when he noticed Wooyoung’s progress on the blood bag. 

“You are doing great, Wooyoung,” he praised, approaching the fledgling and brushing the hair back from his face, keeping his hand on his head as he looked at Seonghwa. “So you were talking about me?” 

Seonghwa immediately shook his head, scrambling for the right words. “They were. I wasn’t.” San started laughing again, which didn’t exactly help Seonghwa’s case, but he stood his ground as he looked between the three vampires. Sometimes, his life in this coven house was quite surreal. 

Cocking his head to the side, Hongjoong allowed himself a small grin, his fangs showing. “Whatever you say, darling,” he murmured, his voice soft as velvet. “I want to show you the clothing I prepared for you to wear to the masquerade. I hope that you will like it. It was made especially for you.” 

Swallowing hard, Seonghwa nodded. “That was really sweet of you, to have it made for me. You didn’t have to do all of that.” 

Sharing a brief look with San, Hongjoong’s expression turned a bit smug. “I did not have it made for you. I made it for you,” he clarified, appearing rather pleased with himself. “I aligned my creative choices with what I have observed of your personal tastes, but I did take certain… liberties of my own. I could not help myself; I created a set of garments that I have been dying to see on you.” 

He spoke so smoothly, as if that was a normal thing to do for someone, and Seonghwa’s breath caught in his throat. “You… did you really?” he breathed, and Hongjoong nodded easily. “That’s - how did you manage that? You don’t have my measurements, or-”

“My eye is practiced enough by now to be able to estimate such things,” Hongjoong interrupted, ruffling Wooyoung’s hair before pulling his hand back and stepping closer to Seonghwa. “I have spent a lot of time looking at you, so I had an idea of what your measurements would be. If anything does not fit, there is enough time for me to make adjustments as needed. However, it would be best if you would come with me now to get dressed; we will be leaving at sundown.” 

He came closer then, holding out a hand for Seonghwa to take. After staring at it for a moment, Seonghwa obliged, although he didn’t move from his place just yet. “Is everyone else awake? If we’re leaving soon?” 

“They are getting ready, too. This is the biggest event of the year for us; it is quite a big deal. You will see when we arrive. I doubt you have ever seen anything like it,” Hongjoong explained, and he was definitely right. Seonghwa was torn between anticipation and terror regarding the ball, but he trusted Hongjoong to keep him safe and guide him through it. 

He nodded, and the two of them bid farewell to Wooyoung and San before heading upstairs. They bypassed the second floor entirely, heading up to the third. Seonghwa had never ventured up here before, not wanting to intrude on Wooyoung in case he was in danger of losing control over himself, but it looked identical to the second floor, a long hallway studded with doors leading to separate rooms. 

Hongjoong led him down the hall, their fingers laced together. “I hope you will like the clothing,” he said, stopping in front of a door at the end of the hall, not opening it just yet. 

“I think I will,” Seonghwa murmured, his cheeks flushed. “I’m very curious, I have to say. San and Wooyoung were telling me that the style of the masquerade leans more towards the classic nature of the time period in which you were born.” 

“Yes, indeed it does. The modern age has its own improvements upon the past, but I must say that I prefer the classic style. Plenty of silks, ball gowns, corsets, garments like that. Fashion for men can be so much more than a plain tuxedo.” The timeless nature of his accent only served to emphasize the validity of his words, and Seonghwa could have listened to him speak on the topic all day. 

Turning the doorknob, Hongjoong opened the door to what must have been his clothing workspace, and Seonghwa sucked in a sharp breath as he regarded the inside of the room. Various different types of fabrics were draped around the border of the room, mostly neutral colors with an occasional ruby or emerald shade, and plain mannequins were positioned throughout the space as well. Each one had some kind of fabric pinned into place, the beginnings of an outfit that had not yet been completed. 

On the far wall, a rack stood parallel to the wall, with garment bags hanging from the central gold bar. The contents of the bags were hidden, but Hongjoong led Seonghwa towards the rack, so he inferred that the outfits for the masquerade were held inside. “I will show you yours first, and then you can see mine as well, if you would like,” he offered, and Seonghwa murmured an agreement, eager to see both. 

He lifted one of the bags from the rack, setting it down gently on a long wooden table, likely used as a work space. The room itself was cluttered with all kinds of design materials; fabrics, dyes, machines, spools of thread, scissors, and about a thousand other things. But despite all of that, everything was still organized, an ordered kind of chaos. 

Hongjoong seemed to change while inside of this room, his hands practiced as he unzipped the garment bag, pulling out a hanger laden with clothing. “Do not look,” Hongjoong warned, and Seonghwa closed his eyes, unable to shake his curiosity. Anticipation thrummed beneath his skin, and he heard the sound of Hongjoong shifting the fabrics further down the table before he set down the first item on the surface of the table right in front of Seonghwa. “Now you may look.” 

Opening his eyes, Seonghwa looked down at the table, pressing a hand to his mouth as he observed the meticulous handiwork of the corset Hongjoong had presented to him. Made from cream colored fabric, he had never seen a garment more beautiful, every stitch placed with care. The boning was arranged carefully, creating an elegant shape, the strip of material along the top embroidered with cream colored roses, a minimalistic but stunning detail. 

“You really made this?” Seonghwa asked, reaching down to touch it, brushing his fingers over the fabric. “This is beautiful. I’ve never seen anything like this before.” 

Hongjoong reached over and turned the corset, revealing the laces that traveled up the back, the same color as the rest. “Corsets are my favorite to make,” he said, standing to Seonghwa’s right, his voice soft. “I made this one with you on my mind. Shall I show you the rest of the clothing?” 

Breath stolen away by Hongjoong’s handiwork, Seonghwa just nodded. Hongjoong set down another piece of clothing in front of him; a shirt this time, black and gauzy. “Wow,” Seonghwa breathed, touching the material, silky beneath the gauze overlay. The sleeves were incredibly wide and flowy, and they would create a stunning silhouette along with the shape of the corset. 

“Let me show you something,” Hongjoong said, taking the shirt into his hands and holding it up for Seonghwa to see. “Take one of the sleeves and raise it to the side.” 

Confused, Seonghwa did as he was told, taking one of the bell sleeves and lifting it. The material draped down as he did so, and only then did he notice the detailing. If he raised his arms while wearing this shirt, the fabric of the sleeves would hang down like wings at his sides. Not just any wings, either; the material was cut and stitched to look like the wings of a bat. 

“How did you do that?” he asked, eyes wide. 

With a sly grin, Hongjoong set down the shirt again, shrugging his shoulders. “I have seen you with that bat outside. The one that always hangs down from the roof when you are out on the porch. One night when I returned home from the council, I noticed the bat hanging from the portion of the roof right above your bedroom window. It is your friend, in a way, is it not?” 

Seonghwa smiled softly at that. Now that the weather was becoming warmer, he had taken to sitting outside more often, and Onyx always joined him just like she had on the day of the first snow. “Yes, she is my friend. Thank you, I love the details. I really do.” 

Holding Seonghwa’s gaze, Hongjoong winked before reaching for the next garment. Seonghwa’s skin heated in response, and he blinked hard, forcing himself to focus on the floor length skirt that had been placed in front of him. It was beautifully made, much like everything else, with a gauze overlay similar to the shirt. Seonghwa ran his fingers over the fabric, his awe rendering him breathless.

A moment later, Hongjoong reached beneath the table to grab something else, setting down a pair of heels on the table as well. They were made from black leather, with a small, skinny heel. Twin leather straps were adhered to each side of the shoes, meant to be wrapped around Seonghwa’s ankles. With the rest of the outfit, they would pair perfectly, and Seonghwa couldn’t even find the words to describe his love for these clothes. All he could do was gasp and murmur words of praise, which Hongjoong seemed satisfied by. 

Lastly, he showed Seonghwa the mask he had made from black lace, perfect for a masquerade, and a silver choker necklace with a large ruby gemstone embedded in the center. “That is everything,” he said at last, a grin pulling at his lips. “I take it that you like it?” 

Still in a state of disbelief, Seonghwa reached out to touch the necklace, the ruby smooth beneath the pad of his thumb. “My personal style isn’t something that I’ve had the luxury to explore since recently. I don’t even know what I like a lot of the time, until I browse the stores online and see things that interest me. I would never have known what kind of clothes to pick for myself, but these are perfect. I couldn’t have hoped for anything better. Thank you so much, Hongjoong. Really.” 

He turned to face the vampire, the two of them standing in close proximity despite the vast size of the room around them. “I am happy to hear it,” Hongjoong murmured, reaching up to tuck a piece of hair behind Seonghwa’s ear, his cold fingers ghosting past Seonghwa’s cheek and making him shiver. “You will look beautiful.” 

Seonghwa blushed when Hongjoong’s gaze flitted down to his lips, lingering there. He caught his bottom lip between his teeth, heart pounding. The space between them seemed to be shrinking, their bodies drawn together, the two of them breathing the same air…

“We should get ready!” Seonghwa blurted, taking a step back, bringing a hand to his tingling lips. “Right? We don’t have a lot of time, and I really have to figure something out with my hair, so-” 

“Relax, darling. Yeosang has a talent for hair; he can help you with that.” Hongjoong stared at Seonghwa for a long moment before looking at the clothes arranged on the table. “Shall we dress?”

Swallowing down his nerves, Seonghwa nodded, and Hongjoong helped him to gather up the clothing and bring it down to his room. Only once Seonghwa was inside with the door closed did he realize that he had never seen Hongjoong’s outfit, his heart still beating at a frantic pace after what had happened. 

He didn’t understand it - had Hongjoong intended to kiss him? That kind of romance was forbidden, no matter what Hongjoong had to say about his position on the council, and Seonghwa rubbed at his arms as he tried to rid himself of his goosebumps. He set down the clothing on the bed, trailing his fingers over the fabric again, still overwhelmed that all of this had been created to fit his body. 

Shedding his everyday clothes, he changed into the long skirt and shirt that Hongjoong had made, pulling on the strappy heels as well and securing them into place. He slid the knife Hongjoong had given him into a hidden pocket sewn into the inside of the skirt, finding comfort in the familiar weight of the weapon against his leg. He would need help with the corset and the necklace, but even with just half of the outfit on, he still felt more beautiful than ever before. 

Hongjoong had bought him a full length mirror for his room a few months ago, as the vampires didn’t own any due to their lack of a reflection, and he looked at himself for a long moment, hardly recognizing the man staring back at him. The clothes hugged his body perfectly, fitted in some areas and loose in others, changing his appearance from average to otherworldly. He wasn’t a vampire, but in these clothes he almost felt like one. 

He tilted his head to the side, looking at the scars on his neck, mostly covered by his hair. The necklace would help to cover them as well, and he wondered if Hongjoong had chosen it on purpose for that reason. 

Gathering up the corset, the necklace, and the mask, he left his room and headed downstairs, the first floor now bustling with commotion. All of the others were dressed in their clothes as well, mostly composed of shades of black, white, and crimson, and Seonghwa stood there at the base of the stairs with his corset in hand until Yeosang came over to him with a soft smile.

He looked beautiful in a supernatural way, with a white shirt that draped over his body perfectly, a leather body harness peeking out from underneath, and an elegant black cape laying over top. “I can help you with that,” he offered, and Seonghwa nodded, handing him the corset. He trusted Yeosang to do it correctly, for he had no experience with these things. 

Seonghwa raised his arms so that Yeosang could lower the corset over his head, and then he settled it into place before beginning to lace the back, tugging tightly each time as he made his way down Seonghwa’s spine. “I know it’s tight,” he said as he worked, tugging again, the breath forced from Seonghwa’s lungs. “But that is the nature of such clothing. You’ll get used to it as the night goes on.” 

By the time he was finished, Seonghwa’s posture was perfect; he wouldn’t be surprised if he had gained an inch or two in height due to the forced alignment of his spine. He had expected the corset to be uncomfortable, but Hongjoong had made it well, and the boning didn’t dig into his skin or cause him any pain. The tightness was the worst part, but if he breathed shallowly he was okay. 

After that, Yeosang helped him with the necklace as well, and he held onto the mask as he sat down on a barstool in the kitchen to allow Yeosang to fix his hair. “You’re a lifesaver,” he commented, for he had no idea what Yeosang was doing with those practiced hands to fix his hair, but he trusted him wholeheartedly. Yeosang’s hair was beautiful, always with every strand in place, and considering how long he had been alive he must have nailed down his routine at some point. 

“It’s nothing,” he murmured in response, but his smile was audible in his voice. “You look lovely. Hongjoong really outdid himself with your outfit. Every pair of eyes in that room is going to be drawn to you.” 

That wasn’t exactly comforting, and Seonghwa winced. “I think that was his plan,” he admitted, his stomach twisting. “To draw the attention of every vampire in this city in order to claim his territory. And I understand why it’s necessary, but… I can’t say the idea of walking into that ball doesn't terrify me.” 

“I was scared the first time I went, too. And I was already a vampire then, so I can imagine that the feeling is far worse for you. Hongjoong would never bring a human to this ball unless explicitly necessary, but he knows what he’s doing. And it really isn’t so bad - we all stick together, and we wind up having fun. Our coven is a bit odd, in that sense. We don’t engage with others often, vampire or human,” Yeosang said, still working on Seonghwa’s hair. 

“Even before I met any of you, I knew that. This coven is a mystery to humans, compared to the others. I never would have guessed that any of you are… well, the way you are.” 

A third voice interrupted their conversation, loud and full of energy. “Aw, Seonghwa! You look stunning. Mingi, doesn’t he look stunning?” Yunho was beaming as he entered the kitchen, dragging Mingi along by the hand. They both looked wonderful as well, unnaturally handsome, in the same manner as all of the others. 

Seonghwa blushed under their praise, ducking his head slightly as Yeosang finished up with his hair, clapping his hands once he was done. “It looks great!” he said with a smile, and Seonghwa thanked him, bringing him in for a quick hug as he stood from his stool. Yeosang lingered in his touch for a moment, just as all of the vampires always did, soaking in his human warmth. 

They exited the kitchen just as Hongjoong came down the stairs, the last of the coven to join the rest. All of the others were in the living room, and everyone looked towards Hongjoong as he arrived, his presence alone causing the space to go quiet. As soon as Seonhwa looked at him, he forgot to breathe, eyes widening. 

The colors of his outfit were almost entirely identical to the colors that Seonghwa was wearing, and as he looked closer he realized that the fabrics were the exact same as well. Hongjoong wore a special blazer, dark crimson in color, that hung lower than any other blazer Seonghwa had ever seen. The bottom hem was angled, the lowest part stopping at his knees. The cut was magnificent, accentuating his figure, and he wore a white silk shirt and black pants beneath. A pair of heeled boots provided him with some extra height, although Seonghwa was still significantly taller courtesy of his own heels. 

A cape was secured around his neck as well, pure black and extending all the way to the floor. Out of all of the vampires in the coven, Hongjoong had always stood out as the most significant, possessing the kind of presence that toed the line between enchanting and dangerous, but now that aura was emphasized by his clothing, his hair, the way he held himself. He was powerful, that much was obvious, and yet his eyes still found Seonghwa’s face first. 

His jaw went slack, his lips parting as he blinked, stepping down from the last of the stairs and approaching where Seonghwa now stood. “You…” His voice tapered off as he stopped in front of Seonghwa, eyes trailing down the line of his body, taking in every last detail of the clothing and how it molded to his frame. “Wow. I - I do not know what to say.”

Seonghwa bit his bottom lip, nerves swirling in his chest. Not the bad kind; rather, the kind that he always felt when he was around Hongjoong, even more so now because of his attire. “I hope that’s a good thing,” he breathed, fighting the urge to fidget. 

“You are so beautiful.” Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa through his lashes, reaching out to settle a hand over his waist, right over the smallest section of the corset. “I looked at you, and for a moment I felt human again. Nothing has ever evoked that kind of feeling within me. My heart has been dead for centuries, but it still skipped a beat at the sight of you.” 

Blushing now, Seonghwa had to break their eye contact, taking a step back to avoid doing something stupid. Hongjoong’s hand fell away from his waist, resting again at his side. “You look very handsome,” he said in return, a soft smile curving his lips. “I’m flattered to be going to the ball with all of you. I don’t think I’ll fully believe it until we get there.” 

“You are not simply going with all of us. You are going with me.” Hongjoong’s gaze was impenetrable, his eyes warm and bold all at once. “First and foremost, we are making a statement at this ball.” 

“A statement that the other vampires should stop trying to hurt me,” Seonghwa finished, and Hongjoong clicked his tongue. 

“Yes, but more than that. A statement that you are precious to me, do you understand?” He stepped closer again, and this time Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to move away. “Precious in what way… that will be the question of the evening, if we play this correctly.” 

Precious in what way… “You want them to think this is romantic,” Seonghwa deduced. He had expected his words to sound accusatory, but they came out soft. “Won’t that only get us into more trouble?” 

“I want them to wonder, that is all,” Hongjoong countered, a slight curve to his lips now. “Any conclusions they reach will be entirely their own.” And yet, Hongjoong had already implied the romantic nature of his feelings several times. He had said ‘if we play this correctly,’ but Seonghwa suspected that he wouldn’t be playing a role at all. 

All of the others were still standing around them watching the exchange, and Seonghwa glanced towards the windows, noting that the final rays of the sun had finally dissipated. “We should go. It starts at sundown, right?” he asked, and the others followed his gaze. All except Hongjoong, who merely extended his hand, clad in a black leather glove. 

“Shall we, darling?” he asked, eyes shadowed by his lashes. Staring at Hongjoong’s hand for a moment, Seonghwa extended his own a moment later, allowing his fingers to be cradled within that thick leather glove. The contrast left him breathless, his slender hand standing out stark against the black. 

Hongjoong’s grin widened, and he began to guide Seonghwa towards the door, the others following along as well. Their regular chatter started up again, but Seonghwa couldn’t find it in himself to speak, too overcome by fear of what was to come. This wasn’t just a looming event, anymore; within the hour, they would be surrounded by vampires, most of whom would have liked to have him as their own. 

The thought made him shiver, and Hongjoong looked in his direction, the two of them hanging back as the others started to exit that house. “Are you alright?” he asked, squeezing Seonghwa’s hand gently. “You are shaking.” 

Sucking in a breath, Seonghwa just shook his head, unable to keep up a front anymore. “I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice a timid whisper. “I like being here with all of you, away from the rest of the world. I don’t want to face any of these people. I’ve grown used to being treated well; I don’t want to be reminded of what everyone else thinks of me.” 

Expression softening, Hongjoong let go of Seonghwa’s hand in order to pull him into a gentle embrace, holding him with such care that tears welled along Seonghwa’s lashes. “As soon as you want to leave, we will. Okay? I hate that I have to put you in this situation at all, but it is necessary for your safety. I promise you that nothing bad will happen. I will not allow it.” 

“I don’t want it to be like - like it was with Wooyoung. I know he wasn’t in control, but these vampires will be, and I’m afraid they’ll try to hurt me. I’m scared. I’m just scared. I don’t want them all looking at me, or trying to touch me, or-” 

“Darling, breathe,” Hongjoong interrupted, rubbing his palm over Seonghwa’s back, and only then did Seonghwa realize that he was practically hyperventilating, trembling all over. “No one will lay a hand on you. You will be with me the whole time. Here, let me show you something.” 

He pulled back just enough to take Seonghwa’s hand into his own again, the ruby ring catching in the light overhead. “If you feel overwhelmed at any point, squeeze my hand. Once if you still feel mostly okay, twice if you are afraid, and three times if you want to leave. Can you do that for me?” 

Seonghwa nodded, inhaling deeply through his nose, trying to regain control over himself. He tried it now, squeezing Hongjoong’s hand twice, and Hongjoong pulled him back into the embrace for another moment. “It will be okay,” he soothed, cradling the back of Seonghwa's head with his other hand. “You will not need to use them, but do not forget about the ring and the knife that I have given you to defend yourself.”

“But you’ll be with me the whole time, so I won’t have to use them,” Seonghwa said as he pulled back, and Hongjoong murmured a confirmation, guiding him to the door by the hand. 

“Yes. It will be okay, I promise you. You will be with me.” 

You will be with me. Seonghwa kept those words close to his chest as he stepped out onto the porch, not quite as terrified. The air still possessed a slight chill, and the two of them made to descend the porch steps when something small and black swooped down from above, landing on the railing right beside them. 

“Onyx!” Seonghwa exclaimed, forgetting his fear further as he looked at her. Her eyes twinkled as she stared back, wings folded at her sides. He reached out to pet the top of her head with the pad of his index finger, and she let him do so, making a soft purring sound in response to the touch. 

Hongjoong stared between the two of them, brows raised. “She is actually your friend,” he observed, and Seonghwa smiled.

“Yeah, she is. Look, I want to show you something, girl.” He let go of Hongjoong’s hand and stepped back in order to extend his arms, revealing the bat-like cut of his sleeves. Onyx stared for a moment, and then she extended her wings as well, mimicking his position.

“Oh, my. She is such a dear,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa held back a laugh at the old-fashioned nature of his words. He lowered his arms, and Onyx lowered her wings again as well, bouncing up and down against the railing in her excitement. Seonghwa reached out to pet her again and said a quick farewell before taking Hongjoong’s hand, moving down the steps again.

They headed towards the others, standing by the sleek black cars owned by the vampires, and Seonghwa forced himself to take a deep breath. He trusted Hongjoong, and this time, he squeezed his hand only once. 

Hongjoong looked his way, and they shared a momentary smile, weighted with emotions that Seonghwa wasn’t quite ready to decipher. Not that it mattered, because the warm feeling in his chest could only be one thing. 

~

They arrived at the masquerade a short time later, held within a large building that Seonghwa had never seen before, right on the outskirts of the city. The exterior was similar in style and color to the coven house that Seonghwa now called home, but the layout was different, more like a courthouse or other official government building. “This is where the council meets,” Hongjoong informed as they stepped out of the car, shrouded in the cover of night. 

“It’s huge,” Seonghwa commented, staring up at the building as they approached. He couldn’t imagine that the council would need all of this space, but he supposed that if events like the masquerade were also held here, then it made some sense. No one else was outside aside from their coven, and Hongjoong guided them all through the entrance and up the stairs to the third floor ballroom, Seonghwa’s hand in his the entire time. 

The interior was simple, the walls crafted from black marble, along with the stairs. The handrail was gold, with crimson carpeting laid over the steps, guiding them towards the ballroom. “Last time we were here, I didn’t notice how beautiful it was. I was too nervous, I think,” Wooyoung said, his voice coming from right behind Seonghwa. 

“That was a big day for you - it’s not every day that your application to be turned gets approved,” San replied as they reached the third floor at last. “You can enjoy it more tonight. I think you will find that the ball is rather fun - in the meantime, you should put on your mask now.” 

Seonghwa followed San’s words as well, pulling his mask over his face. The fabric on the inside was soft and comfortable as it pressed against the bridge of his nose and the tops of his cheeks, and his visibility was mostly unaffected, thanks to Hongjoong’s handiwork. With the mask over his face, he felt a bit more brave, overcome by the sultry atmosphere of the evening. 

He glanced over at Hongjoong to find him wearing a mask now as well, the same color as his blazer. An air of mystery surrounded him now, and a chill broke over Seonghwa’s skin. When he smiled, his mouth seemed to take up more space, his lips drawing Seonghwa’s full attention. 

When they reached the ballroom, the eight of them stepped inside at last, Hongjoong and Seonghwa in front. Seonghwa gasped as he took in the state of the room, entranced by the decor, the ambience. 

Massive chandeliers hung from the ceiling, casting the room in just enough light while still allowing for shadow. The windows along the walls were all large and arched, split with black panes, much like the ones in the coven house. The floor was made from polished mahogany, and everything was themed either black or crimson, cohesive and vampiric by nature. Classical music carried through the space, crafted by the expert hands of a woman on a grand piano to the left of the open ballroom floor, other orchestral instruments arranged around her but not yet in use. 

The room was filled with people, mostly vampires dressed in similar attire to Seonghwa and the rest, ball gowns and tuxedos and capes. Tables were spaced along the edges of the room at even intervals, overlaid with crimson tablecloths, ornate glasses marking every place. Vampires did not eat, after all; all they needed was a glass, one that would be filled with blood in due time, Seonghwa reckoned. 

Some of the vampires in the room were sitting at said tables, while others were lounging on velvet chaises, located at each corner of the room. As Seonghwa looked closely at the nearest one, he realized that the vampire lying on the chaise was feeding from a human, fangs sunk deep in the flesh of her neck, one hand gripped around her hip. The sight startled him, and he would have stumbled back if it weren’t for Hongjoong’s hand coming around his waist to support him. 

A long banquet table stood not far from the entrance doors, laden with two large crystal bowls, each full of red liquid so dark that it appeared almost black. Blood - the bowls were full of blood, and Seonghwa watched with his stomach twisting as a vampire ladled a healthy amount into a glass, before downing almost the entire thing in one swallow. 

Every face was covered by a mask, some taking up more space than others, ranging from simple eye covers to full face covers. Both men and women filled the space, and every single head turned in their direction as the eight of them walked in, an immediate silence settling over the room. 

Seonghwa’s breath caught in his throat, and he forced himself to keep his expression neutral as he allowed Hongjoong to guide him forward, his heart racing within his chest. Could the vampires around him sense his fear, he wondered? Could they tell how quickly the blood was pumping through his veins, how rapidly his pulse thrummed in the hollow beneath his jaw? 

He didn’t know where Hongjoong was leading him, their coven walking through the middle of the room, along the open space likely reserved for upcoming dancing. Every pair of eyes trailed them, and Seonghwa swore he felt their lingering attention on Hongjoong’s hand around his waist, their proximity. No one spoke a word, no cruel comments thrown his way like he had expected, and for the first time he truly grasped the weight of Hongjoong’s influence. 

These vampires would not act against him, because they were afraid of him. They were afraid of being wiped out, just like the rest of the immortalist bloodline in Asia had been. Somehow, Seonghwa had the most powerful vampire in the entire continent wrapped around his finger, and all of the vampires in this room were coming to that same conclusion. 

At the other side of the room opposite the entrance, a series of four ornate chairs were positioned. They looked like thrones, entirely black with dark red cushioning, practically emanating power. Three of them were occupied already, only the leftmost center chair still empty. A thought occurred to Seonghwa at the sight of them, and his mouth ran dry. 

“You aren’t going to go sit there, are you?” he whispered, glancing at Hongjoong. “You said you would stay with me.” 

Hongjoong’s lips twitched upwards, although he kept his gaze facing forward as he responded. “That is my council seat, yes. I must sit there, but you will be joining me.” 

Eyes going wide, Seonghwa looked at the vacant chair once more, taken aback by Hongjoong’s answer. Before he had the chance to say anything else, a hand came to rest against his shoulder, and he flinched as he whirled his head around. “Sorry,” Yunho said, offering a soft smile. “The rest of us will go to our table, now. Take care of him, Hongjoong.” 

Instead of giving a verbal response, Hongjoong merely nodded, keeping his arm firm against Seonghwa’s waist. “Come, darling,” he said, and he spoke louder this time, wanting their audience to hear. The two of them continued forward, and Seonghwa dared to observe the other three vampires in their respective council seats, apprehensive of their power. 

The vampire in the chair on the far left was a woman, with shiny black hair that descended to her waist. She wore a gold mask that covered the entire left half of her face, the other half visible and painted flawlessly with makeup that highlighted her sharp features. In a way, she looked oddly familiar. Her dress was cinched with a black corset, and the neckline was quite low, a golden snake necklace wrapped around her neck and clavicle. She was watching them with interest, chin resting against a manicured hand. 

To her right was the empty chair, and the other middle chair was occupied by a much older man. He must have already been well into his fifties when he was turned, for his hair was grey and long, brushing his collar. A pair of wire-rimmed glasses perched on his nose, and a scar ran over his mouth. He wore a black velvet tuxedo with a cape, and his expression was indifferent as they approached. 

Lastly, another woman occupied the chair all the way to the right, her hair stark white. She was young in appearance, however; she looked to be a few years younger than Seonghwa, vampirism aside. Her complexion was incredibly fair, her eyes oddly colorless as well. Her clothing was all white, and a fur shawl wrapped around her shoulders, extending down to the floor. Head tipped back, she regarded them with ice in her gaze. 

This was the council, then, with Hongjoong filling the fourth and final place. Seonghwa had never known exactly what to expect from the council, for Hongjoong was fairly cryptic about his work, but he could see why they were entrusted with such important roles. Hongjoong had mentioned being directly involved in the creation of the regulations, likely alongside these three others as well. 

Seonghwa directed his own eyes back to Hongjoong’s throne as they reached it, Hongjoong settling down easily into the seat with a sigh. The other vampires in the room were all still watching, and Seonghwa stood there awkwardly, his skin burning. Was he supposed to stand sentinel beside this throne all night? If that were the case, he would rather be with the others. 

But that was not Hongjoong’s plan as he looked at Seonghwa, holding out a glove-clad hand. Seonghwa rested his own hand against Hongjoong’s palm, and the vampire pulled him towards the throne, wrapping an arm around his waist to guide him onto the seat. Or rather, not onto the seat itself, but onto his lap. 

Blushing, Seonghwa’s entire body tensed, and Hongjoong squeezed his hand. “Relax,” he murmured, his lips close to Seonghwa’s ear. “You can make yourself comfortable. There is plenty of room for the two of us.” Seonghwa wasn’t so sure about that, but he tried to loosen up, his side resting against Hongjoong’s chest. Each of the thrones were spaced out enough to not be on top of each other, but Seonghwa still had to fight the urge not to look at the black-haired woman immediately to his right now that they were seated. 

Facing the rest of the room, Seonghwa struggled not to squirm under all of the eyes pointed their way, openly watching how Hongjoong’s arms curled around his waist, holding him close. “All is well, darling.” Hongjoong’s voice at this proximity made Seonghwa shiver, their bodies pressed together. “This is how they will know that you are mine. They cannot hurt you.” 

Mine. Seonghwa did belong to Hongjoong courtesy of the contract, but that word held more affection than it should have, and Seonghwa wasn’t stupid. Perhaps naive, but not to such a degree to not realize Hongjoong’s intended meaning. 

Seonghwa was saved from having to respond by the older vampire, who stood from his council seat and took a step forward to address everyone in the room. His presence was significant, and Seonghwa let free a relieved sigh when most of the eyes redirected away from them. 

“Good evening to all,” he said, spreading out his arms as he scanned the room, his voice booming through the entire space. “Thank you for joining us at the annual masquerade. I apologize for the delay; we could not begin without all council members in attendance. It is… tradition, if you will.” 

“My bad,” Hongjoong said, his voice much louder now, intended to be heard by all. “I believe in the importance of making an entrance.” The words were thick with amusement, and the older man cast him an unimpressed look. 

“Yes, well, it still alarms me that the oldest of us all has never progressed past a childhood mindset,” the man muttered, and Hongjoong let out a loud laugh, leaning back in his seat. 

He received twin glares from the two female council members, and Seonghwa felt quite uncomfortable existing in the middle of all this. Surely these vampires had known one another for ages, but that did not mean they were on the best of terms; after all, he assumed that the council consisted of one representative from each coven, and Hongjoong had made it clear in the past that he did not care for any vampires that weren’t his own. 

And yet, none of them commented on Seonghwa’s presence, which had to stand for something. Either they were too afraid of Hongjoong to do so, or they respected those who he cared about. 

“Mindreaders, hypnotists, sunwalkers, and immortalists, I welcome all of you to the 275th annual Seoul Masquerade. Feeders will be roaming the ballroom to be used as needed, and you may refill your chalice at any time, if you prefer to drink that way. I will remind you all that communal feeders are wearing white overcoats; any other humans are personal feeders and thus off limits for general use,” the man continued, and Seonghwa’s stomach twisted. 

“Please enjoy yourselves. Dance and drink your fill, and be respectful of all regulations. Let the masquerade commence!” Noise broke out once he finished speaking, all of the vampires mulling about once more, filling their chalices and resuming their conversations. The music resumed as well, this time with all instruments included, and the first few dancers trickled onto the main floor. 

Seonghwa didn’t know where to look, overwhelmed by all of this, and he found the rest of Hongjoong’s coven sitting at a table of their own to the left of the thrones. He sought out Wooyoung’s attention immediately, their eyes meeting, and Wooyoung offered a small smile and a thumbs up. They were both entirely new to this, and it made him feel a bit better. 

“I am sorry to thrust you into all of this without a proper explanation,” Hongjoong said, his arms never leaving Seonghwa’s waist, and when Seonghwa turned his head their faces were mere centimeters apart. “I had a feeling that I would only confuse you by trying to explain. It is easier to simply see it all yourself. You may ask me anything that you would like to know.” 

He had so many questions that he wasn’t quite sure where to begin, but he started with the obvious, now that the other council members had risen from their seats to wander the room. “Who are the other members of the council? They all seem so… powerful. And they don’t seem to like you very much, either.” 

Letting out a chuckle, Hongjoong contemplated that for a moment. “It is not that they dislike me. They often delegate the final say to me whenever there is a disagreement. However, they are a rather serious group, and my attempts to lighten the mood often do not go over well.”

“And… you’re really the oldest one?” Seonghwa asked, for he found that hard to believe. 

“Yes; we are known as the Four Masters, the council representatives of our respective covens. Not all of us are coven leaders, but we are the ones deemed most suited to our current duty. Age did not determine our importance - skill and influence are the main criteria. I am the oldest, and I have stood on this council since its creation along with Saja, while the other two spots were filled by different vampires at the beginning.” 

He looked out into the crowd, and Seonghwa followed his gaze to the older man, the one who had introduced the masquerade. “That is Saja,” Hongjoong explained. The man was speaking to a woman, who matched him in physical appearance, her hair touched grey at her temples. “He is the leader of the Mindreaders. His talents have proven to be quite useful, and he has a good head on his shoulders. Our two covens have never experienced a conflict, for he keeps his subordinates in line.” 

The name sounded vaguely familiar to Seonghwa, although he had never known much about vampires. Hongjoong’s name was the only one that had stuck in his mind prior to his immersion in this world, another indication of his significance. “What about the two women?” 

“Ah, they are twin forces to be reckoned with. The one standing over by the orchestra is Kobeula - she will be dancing within the hour, I am sure. Known as the Seductress by most, she is as dangerous as she is beautiful. Not a coven leader, but her influence is undeniable. She is a sunwalker, so she is not restricted to our nocturnal lifestyle. Look at her closely - do you not recognize her?” 

Seonghwa had found her familiar from the start, and now that he was able to look freely without drawing her attention, he gasped. “I have seen her before,” he realized, blinking. “I thought she looked familiar - not in person, but in-”

“Movies?” Hongjoong finished, and Seonghwa nodded, floored by the discovery. “It is true that most covens are not as secretive as ours. The sunwalkers especially love to toe the line between humanity and vampirism. She was not on the council from its conception; she was turned after the regulations. As a human, she was the most desired actress in the world; the technology to create movies was still many decades away, but she was a theatre performer before then. People would travel across the world to see her perform.” 

“Why did she want to become a vampire, then? She was already so successful as a human.” Seonghwa couldn’t quite make sense of that, frowning. 

Hongjoong clicked his tongue, his arms constricting a bit tighter around Seonghwa’s waist, pulling him closer. If Seonghwa focused on his touch, his smile, he could almost imagine that they were sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace at home, his muscles relaxing further. “Do you know all twenty regulations?” Hongjoong asked, seemingly out of nowhere. 

“No,” Seonghwa replied easily, rolling his lips together. He noticed Hongjoong’s gaze drop to his mouth, and he rushed to elaborate. “I don’t think any humans do, unless if it’s someone important. I know the ones that involve me; that’s all I’ve ever been taught. Enter the forests at your own risk, donating is mandated unless you’re exempted, the ones like that.” 

“Ah, yes. Well, there is a regulation that states the right of the human judiciary system to decline the turning application of someone with vast importance within human society. That regulation typically would have prevented someone like Kobeula from being turned, because of her importance. Not only for entertainment, but for the economy of the country. If she were to be confined to nights only, that would severely limit their ability to use her for monetary gain. I will not bore you with all of those details, but essentially, the humans then discovered a… loophole, I suppose you could say.” 

Soaking in all of this new information, Seonghwa listened closely, his gaze flitting back towards the dark-haired vampire as she leaned against the piano, enjoying the orchestra. “Her application was accepted, as long as she agreed to become a sunwalker and join their coven. That way, she could still perform - indefinitely. She is able to walk in the sunlight, and she remains forever youthful at an eternal age of twenty-nine.”

“Wow,” Seonghwa breathed, his perception of Kobeula now taking on a new light. “And she still does all of that?”

“Yes; she does not have much of a choice in that matter, to be honest. Anytime a human is approved to be turned, they sign a contract stating their agreement to the regulations. Her contract contained more than that. She agreed to continue in her societal role, and she has been performing ever since. Her existence alone has supported this economy for centuries, but I do think that she has regrets. She will not admit it, but one can only remain an object of public desire for so long.”

That was sad to think about, and although Seonghwa was still intimidated by her, he couldn’t bring himself to be as terrified as before. “There are so many different reasons that vampires have been turned,” he commented, for he couldn’t shake that thought from his mind. “I never realized that before I met you.” 

“Sadly, our existence is largely chalked down to whatever myths and stories are currently in fashion.” Hongjoong shrugged, evidently used to this by now. “There are benefits to that, as it provides us with a certain degree of privacy, but especially in the case of some, it can be detrimental as well.” 

“Like her,” Seonghwa supplied, another name coming to mind right after. “And - and Yunho, right?” 

Hongjoong nodded, and his expression lost its humor then. “Yes, you are exactly right. But this is the best system we have developed thus far - it has plenty of faults, still, but it is golden compared to the pain of the past. My hope is that in the future, we will come to see a society even more improved than the one we have created now.” 

When he spoke about such things, his age was evident, his eyes somewhere else. Seonghwa touched his arm to one of Hongjoong’s hands that rested at his waist, squeezing once to pull him back to the present. Hongjoong blinked, and then he smiled. “Sorry about that. Some may call me an idealist because of my hopes, but I have seen this world change. I do not see why it is wrong to hope for it to happen again.” 

He sighed, looking back out at the ballroom, more vampires migrating onto the dance floor now. “I will not bore you with all of that. The last council member is Seori, and she is a bit of an interesting case as well.” Seonghwa scanned the room until he found her, which wasn’t difficult - her white hair stood out amongst the sea of black. 

“She looks so young,” Seonghwa said, for now that he could look at her without being noticed, he couldn’t see her physical age being any older than twenty. 

“Her eternal age is eighteen,” Hongjoong murmured, resting his chin on Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Of the council members, she is the coldest, but she has her reasons. Her turning was not a pleasant experience, but I will not elaborate for the sake of her privacy. Let me simply say that I first met her when she was still human, in this very building, although not because of an application.” 

In this building, where the council meetings were held, where Wooyoung had mentioned visiting in order to finalize his decision to become a vampire. If Hongjoong had met her while she was human, Seonghwa was able to assume that she had been involved in some kind of violation to the regulations. 

He swallowed, not wanting to pry any further. She did have a strange quality about her, more so than the other vampires in the room; her veins were visible through her skin, blue webbing all along the exposed parts of her body. With the odd color of her hair and eyes, she was quite evidently unique. 

“And she’s the hypnotist representative, then,” Seonghwa deduced, directing the conversation away from her past.

Hongjoong nodded, his chin moving where it rested against Seonghwa’s shoulder, the coldness of his skin passing through the gauzy material of Seonghwa’s shirt. “Yes, she is. She is the most recent addition to the council, but she is fierce in her opinions. Also not the leader of her coven, but she was chosen for other reasons. Certainly not one to be underestimated.” 

So these were the Four Masters; Hongjoong, Saja, Kobeula, and Seori. Each of them possessed a strong, self-reliant image, and Seonghwa could understand why they had been raised to their positions on the council. His eyes trailed away from Seori, absorbing all of the information he had just learned as he looked towards the ballroom dance floor, occupied by more than half of the vampires in the room now. Less eyes were upon the two of them as a result, which was a relief as well. 

Two familiar figures drew his attention straight away, and he sat up straighter, drawing a grumble out of Hongjoong as he lifted his head. “Look, Yunho and Mingi!” he said, gesturing towards them. “They’re dancing, look.” 

“They love to dance, those two,” Hongjoong said, a fond smile lighting up his face. “Yeosang and Jongho are amongst the dancers as well, for I do not see them at the table.”

Seonghwa glanced towards the table to find that Hongjoong was right, only Wooyoung and San remaining there now, deep in conversation with one another. They looked happy, though, and Seonghwa’s heart warmed as he watched them for a moment. 

“Excuse me, sirs. May I offer you a blood chalice, Master?” A server had approached them, with glass chalices on a platter, each one filled with the dark crimson liquid. Seonghwa had the sudden urge to gag, but he restrained himself, looking down to avoid the sight of the blood. 

“No, thank you,” Hongjoong declined, bringing Seonghwa closer to his chest, his grip tightening protectively when he felt how Seonghwa had begun to shake. “I have everything I need right here with me.” 

The server left, and Hongjoong shifted to hover his lips right beside Seonghwa’s ear, speaking in a hushed tone. “I would never feed from you in this kind of company. I said that only for appearances. Are you okay, darling?” 

Seonghwa fumbled for Hongjoong’s hand, squeezing twice, his heart beating with the same frantic speed of a hummingbird’s wings. Amidst all of the commotion that had occurred since their initial entrance into the ballroom, he had forgotten about the most disturbing part of this entire scene. He shifted his gaze just enough to look at the closest chaise, bile stinging the back of his tongue. 

Two people were lying on the velvet cushioned surface, a vampire and a feeder. The vampire was a male, and he was holding onto the feeder with a grip that looked painful, one hand gripping her neck to expose the skin there while the other held her hip in place. His fangs were embedded deep in her neck, and she had a distant look in her eyes. However, she didn’t appear nearly as blissful as Seonghwa did during feedings; she looked pained, terrified, and he had to fight the urge to be sick. 

“The feeders here, it’s not - it’s not right,” he said, short for breath as he gasped, looking away from the scene and tucking his head against Hongjoong’s neck instead. Hongjoong held him close, allowing Seonghwa to essentially cling onto him right there on his throne, before every attendee of the ball. Seonghwa hoped that they were too busy dancing to spare the two of them any notice, but that was unlikely. 

“I know, darling. I know. Most feeders are not treated well, but it is impossible to fight that regulation when they are the ones who signed themselves up for this arrangement. I do not like it, but there is not a thing I can do about it. Not until the world treats these people better, so that there is no need for them to stoop so low simply to survive.” Hongjoong rubbed Seonghwa’s back as he spoke, his voice somber. 

Seonghwa couldn’t shake the image of that feeder from his mind, now burned into his memory. “They all look so unhealthy," he whispered, for it was impossible not to notice. Her cheeks were sunken in, her skin thin and papery, her bones visible. “They look sick. I can’t imagine that they survive very long, being treated like this every day.” 

“They usually do not live long, and with the amount of blood that they are forced to give every day, their bodies cannot replenish it fast enough,” Hongjoong confirmed, and Seonghwa clamped his lips shut around a whimper. “They are usually halfway to death when they fill out the application. That is why we had to come here, why I had to show these people what you mean to me. Because a feeder that looks like you is unheard of in this city. Everyone wanted you.” 

Now that Seonghwa had seen firsthand what most feeders were like, he understood why Hongjoong was so protective. He understood why his presence in the feeder portal had garnered such interest, because while he had been starving and lacking shelter, he had not been nearly as close to death as all of these other feeders were. 

The more he thought about it, the more upset he felt, his eyes stinging as he hid his face from the rest of the room. “I don’t want these vampires to want me. I don’t want them to look at me, to recognize me, to… desire me. I only want to be yours. I want you to want me; no one else.” 

“And that is how it will be,” Hongjoong soothed, turning his head so that his lips brushed against Seonghwa’s neck. They were soft, providing a stark contrast to the usual pressure of his fangs that followed, although not this time. Instead, he pressed a soft kiss to Seonghwa’s neck, right over his scars, just above the necklace. “There is another way that we could show all of these vampires that you are mine, you know,” he murmured against Seonghwa’s skin. 

Skin heating under the soft pressure of Hongjoong’s lips, Seonghwa fumbled for a response, distracted now from his momentary panic. “And what would that be?” he asked, breathless. 

One of Hongjoong’s hands came to rest against Seonghwa’s thigh, his skin cold even through the material of the skirt. Seonghwa’s breath hitched at the sudden contact, for Hongjoong had never touched him there before. He didn’t want it to stop, though - even when Hongjoong’s hand shifted further, curling around Seonghwa’s inner thigh, he allowed it to happen. 

“Dance with me.” Hongjoong kissed Seonghwa’s neck again, and heat pooled in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach. His head was spinning, and he knew they shouldn’t be doing this. Hongjoong shouldn’t be kissing his neck and caressing his inner thigh in front of every vampire in the city, but at the same time, he never did things without purpose. He had something to prove, and he was taking that task seriously. 

Any romance between the two of them was illegal, but he trusted Hongjoong; if this would get them into trouble, he would never initiate it, so Seonghwa let his nerves dissipate. Some of the touches he had noticed between vampires and the other feeders in the room were not entirely innocent either, so perhaps some regulations were easier to bend than others. 

Seonghwa wasn’t one to submit so easily, either. He didn’t pull back, allowing Hongjoong’s mouth to stay on his neck as his lips twitched upwards. “I don’t know,” he said easily, adopting a contemplative tone. “You’ll have to try harder than that if you want to dance with me. I thought you were supposed to be old fashioned - I believe asking someone to dance calls for certain etiquette, does it not?” 

Hongjoong pulled back from his neck then, just enough to look Seonghwa in the eye, his lips curling into a smirk. They were so close like this, breathing the same air, and Seonghwa’s breath hitched as Hongjoong leaned closer. Their lips were going to touch, and they were going to share a real kiss for the first time in front of all these vampires, and Seonghwa didn’t even care-

“Eyes up here, darling,” he murmured, and Seonghwa immediately looked away from Hongjoong’s lips, face burning. “You are so beautiful. Thank you for attending this ball with me.” He pressed his lips to the tip of Seonghwa’s nose, only for a fleeting second before pulling away and sliding out from beneath Seonghwa, leaving him to sit on the throne as Hongjoong stood up at last. 

He regarded Seonghwa for a long moment before holding out a gloved hand, his eyes twinkling behind his mask. “Will you do me the honor of sharing a dance?” The statement behind his gesture did not go unseen, for Seonghwa felt the attentions in the room direct towards the two of them. After all, Hongjoong had left Seonghwa to sit in his council seat, a metaphorical shift of power that Seonghwa knew he had executed on purpose. 

Seonghwa looked at his extended hand before nodding once, setting down his own slender hand against Hongjoong’s palm, looking back up at him with a soft smile. “It would be my pleasure,” he answered, and Hongjoong grinned as Seonghwa rose from the throne, allowing himself to be escorted to the ballroom dance floor. 

He had never danced like this before, but he trusted Hongjoong to guide him through it, and the others on the dance floor moved back to give them space. Every last person in the room was watching now, and Seonghwa blushed, keeping his focus on Hongjoong to prevent his nerves from taking over.

“Look at me,” Hongjoong murmured, sensing Seonghwa’s apprehension. “Keep your eyes on me. Do not concern yourself with anyone else.” The two of them came to a stop, and Hongjoong pressed his free hand against Seonghwa’s waist, holding up their joined hands as well. “Place your hand on my shoulder,” he instructed gently, and Seonghwa complied. 

He felt like someone else, in this moment. As Hongjoong started to guide him through the dance steps in time with the slow, orchestral music, he let go of his fear, focusing only on the vampire who had taken care of him from the start. The rest of the world was free to hate him, as long as this vampire never would. 

Eventually, the other vampires resumed their dancing as well, but Seonghwa and Hongjoong still drew attention with every step, starting out simple before Hongjoong leaned forward just enough to whisper into Seonghwa’s ear. “Do you trust me?” he asked, hand firm against Seonghwa’s waist. 

“Like I’ve never trusted anyone before,” Seonghwa answered as he pulled back, and they stared at one another in the aftermath of those words, the air between them charged with emotions that Seonghwa wasn’t ready to name. 

One side of Hongjoong’s mouth quirked upwards, and then he continued the dance with the same simple steps as before. After a short time, however, he pulled his arm back from Seonghwa’s waist and raised their joined hands, a silent invitation for Seonghwa to twirl. He had seen some of the other vampires do that, and he would have thought himself too nervous to do it himself, but when Hongjoong looked at him like that he felt capable of anything. 

He twirled around once, twice, and then he returned to Hongjoong’s secure hold, both of them grinning now. Something about this was exhilarating, and Hongjoong continued to complicate the dance now, adding in new moves while all Seonghwa had to do was follow his lead. 

At one point, Hongjoong lowered Seonghwa down into a dip, one arm firm around his waist to support him as his body line came to a stop almost parallel to the floor, their eyes remaining in contact all the while. Seonghwa understood why ballroom dancing had been such a common tradition for so many centuries; this was the most romantic situation he had ever been in, and he never wanted it to end. 

Hongjoong raised him back up, the two of them twirling together now, bodies pressed close. In all his years of life, Hongjoong had become a flawless dancer, and Seonghwa found himself wondering what other skills he was hiding. He had been handsome from their first meeting, but Seonghwa was entranced by him now, unable to fathom that this was the man who had kissed his neck, who had let Seonghwa sit on his lap in front of every vampire in Seoul. 

Again, he twirled Seonghwa, and as Seonghwa finished the spin he caught a brief glimpse of himself reflected in one of the large, arched windows that bordered the walls. He gasped, momentarily losing his rhythm to stare at the image of himself, seemingly dancing with no one. Where his hand rested against Hongjoong’s shoulder, the reflection showed him touching nothing but air, spun around by the arm of a ghost. 

“You have no reflection,” Seonghwa breathed, eyes wide as he looked back towards Hongjoong. He had already known that about vampires, but this was the first time he was truly seeing it, and he blinked hard to reorient himself. “For a moment, this… didn’t feel real.” 

Pulling Seonghwa closer, Hongjoong roamed a hand over his waist, dipping a thumb beneath the bottom of his corset. “Does this feel real to you?” he murmured, and Seonghwa struggled for breath as he nodded. 

“Yes. It feels real.” He was captivated by the touch, by the perfectly sculpted face staring back at him, handsome as ever. 

Hongjoong spun the two of them around, and then he dipped Seonghwa down again, holding the position for a moment as he spoke again. “Good. I do not need to have a reflection for my touch to be real. Do not forget that, my darling.” He pulled Seonghwa up once more, his words still lingering as they continued the dance. 

The ballroom possessed an almost eerie quality, all of these dancers lacking heartbeats of their own, showing no signs of physical exertion, their bodies moving in borderline unnatural ways. But at the same time, Seonghwa continued to draw eyes, the only human on the dance floor. He stood out amongst the rest, for his breathing was labored at points, cheeks flushed and skin heated. To these vampires, that only made him more desirable, but Seonghwa only cared about the attention of one man, the very same man who had never looked away from him once since asking for his hand. 

As the dance progressed, it became more and more charged with tension, sensual in a way that set Seonghwa’s nerves alight. He caught bits and pieces of murmurs from their spectators, but none of that mattered. Hongjoong had been right; no one would dare to touch him, to speak to him directly. No one would harm him, not when Hongjoong was dancing with him like this in front of everyone, a statement that was impossible to misunderstand. 

Every time their bodies drew close together, Seonghwa had to fight the urge to look at Hongjoong’s lips, trying to suppress the desire inside of him. Ever since that moment in Hongjoong’s clothing design room earlier that day, he couldn’t rid himself of the feeling. 

He wanted to know what those lips tasted like, how they would move against his own, the depth of the heat that would bloom within his body. Seonghwa had never experienced that with any person before whom he actually cared for, and Hongjoong’s affections had already proven to be worlds different from the unwanted touches he had been forced to bear at other times in his life. 

If Hongjoong were to kiss him, Seonghwa knew it would change his life. From the very start, he had been holding onto his self preservation by a thread whenever he was near this vampire, enamored by the contrast between his polite gestures and obvious flirtations. Everything about him was captivating, and Seonghwa could not tell himself that his feelings for Hongjoong hadn’t evolved. 

However, as Hongjoong twirled him again, a sobering thought struck Seonghwa’s mind. They would not be the same age forever. He would not be young forever, and Hongjoong’s interest would eclipse with the progress of time, diminishing into nothing by the time Seonghwa was no longer desirable. 

He was young now, and Hongjoong believed him to be beautiful, but for how long would that last? 

In the past, Seonghwa had always forced such thoughts away, not willing to entertain such ideas when he was only bound to Hongjoong by a one-year contract, but he couldn’t shake the thought anymore. Not when Hongoong’s cold touch warmed his soul, when he knew that he would never feel this way for anyone else. 

But what could he do? Seonghwa was a mortal, and Hongjoong would live forever, and their time together was fleeting. 

“Are you alright?” Hongjoong asked, their bodies still moving in sync, the music flowing through the air and guiding each step, every move. “Is something bothering you?” His voice was quiet, loud enough for only Seonghwa to hear.

Swallowing down his fears, Seonghwa shook his head, forcing a smile and willing his lips not to tremble. “No, not at all,” he murmured. “I’m happy.” Hongjoong smiled, and the beginning of a crack started to run through Seonghwa’s heart. 

He turned away, twirling out of Hongjoong’s arms for a moment, blinking back tears before anyone could see them. Dwelling on the future would only taint the present; he wanted to enjoy this dance for all it was worth, unsure if there would ever be another one. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #19: Romantic and/or sexual relations between a human and a vampire are strictly prohibited. 

~

May marked the month when Wooyoung finally left his status as a fledgling behind, now regarded as a juvenile vampire. The council had to approve the transition, so Wooyoung, San, and Hongjoong had left the house at sundown on May the 22nd, Seonghwa and the rest eagerly awaiting their return. 

“He’ll pass the test,” Mingi said with a yawn, blinking blearily as he stretched his arms back behind his head. He had only just woken up, forcibly dragged out of bed by Yunho in time to see Wooyoung off and wish him luck. “He’s totally in control, now. He’s come a long way.”

Seonghwa absentmindedly rubbed his hand over the scars along his neck, feeling the grooves in the skin there, the thicker tissue that had healed over his past wounds. He had long since recovered from Wooyoung’s attack, but the memory still lingered in his mind, the pain and the confusion that had accompanied the ripping of fangs through flesh. But Wooyoung wasn’t like that anymore - he was in control more than ever, and Seonghwa was beyond happy for him. 

In order to no longer be considered a fledgling, he would need to pass a test, one that Hongjoong had explained for Seonghwa’s benefit a few nights prior. His control around blood would be tested, first from a blood bag, and then from a human. Mingi was right, Wooyoung would certainly pass, and Yeosang and Yunho were busy arranging the room for an incoming celebration. 

Craning his neck over the back of the couch, Seonghwa watched as they worked together to string up streamers and balloons, a large banner hanging above the grand piano that read OUR BABY ALL GROWN UP! , a sentiment that Seonghwa shared despite not being nearly as old as the other vampires. Wooyoung was still his baby, and if all went well with the council, they wouldn’t need to remain so strictly distanced anymore. 

“Do you two need help?” Seonghwa asked, but Jongho was the one to respond as he crossed in front of the fireplace, sitting down beside Seonghwa. 

“Don’t even ask them that,” he said, rubbing the top of his head. “They have… a vision, or something. When I tried to help in the kitchen before, Yeosang hit me over the head with a broom handle. It still hurts.” 

That made Seonghwa laugh, leaving Yunho and Yeosang to their own devices, not too keen on being the next one to be hit over the head. “Noted. When will they be back, do you think?” 

“Soon,” Jongho replied, glancing towards the door. “Assuming all goes well, the test really doesn’t take very long. Hongjoong’s stuck with the council for the rest of the night, but Wooyoung and San will be back soon.” 

Seonghwa nodded, although his heart sank slightly at the reminder that Hongjoong wouldn’t be home for the celebration. Whenever he wasn’t there, Seonghwa missed him until he came home, a feeling that he was still struggling to understand. Coupled with all of the warring emotions inside of him at the mere thought of the vampire, he spent most of his moments without Hongjoong still thinking about Hongjoong, and the time before Wooyoung returned was spent in much the same fashion.

Something had shifted between them ever since the ball, although it had been two months since them and they were still teetering on the edge of something neither of them was willing to define. There had been countless moments of tension, of words dying on the tips of tongues and touches lingering for a second too long, but still both of their feelings hung in the balance. 

Although he was not otherwise familiar with this kind of situation, Seonghwa wasn’t stupid. He understood that their relationship had taken a turn towards romance, but hadn’t it been that way from the start? Hongjoong had never been subtle about his intentions, but Seonghwa was beginning to suffer under the weight of words unsaid, his heart straining for something. Anything. 

At the same time, however, his doubts grew stronger by the day, dark storm clouds tainting his happiest moments in this house. For as long as he was mortal, he would worry about when his appeal would expire. Would it happen gradually, or would he wake up one night to find that everything had changed, that these vampires no longer wanted him?

When would Hongjoong no longer find him to be desirable?

Seonghwa shivered at the thought, and an arm came around his shoulders, dragging him out of his misery. “Hey, are you okay?” Jongho asked, brows bunched in concern. “You’ve seemed a bit out of it lately. Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” 

Sucking in a breath, Seonghwa shook his head. “No, it’s nothing,” he replied, forcing some cheeriness into his tone. “Just waiting for Wooyoung, that’s all. I hope that the worst is over for him, now. He’s been through enough.” 

As Jongho was about to respond, the sound of the door opening grabbed the attention of everyone in the room, all heads turning towards the foyer. Seonghwa rose from the couch, and Jongho and Mingi swiftly followed, with Yunho and Yeosang frantically attaching the last streamer before joining the rest. 

They waited for one breath, two, and then Wooyoung and San appeared with twin smiles on their faces. Wooyoung was beaming, his eyes lit up brighter than Seonghwa had ever seen them, and the sight made him teary as his heart swelled. Before Wooyoung even said the words, Seonghwa knew that he had made it through the hard times, that he wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. 

“I passed!” he exclaimed, holding up his fist in the air, and immediately the room erupted into cheers. Seonghwa clapped his hands together, overcome by his joy as a tear slipped down his cheek, his emotions all over the place. 

Wooyoung found his gaze, and when their eyes met his grin broadened, if that were even possible. He stayed in the doorway for another second, and then he was bounding forward, moving with an infectious energy as he raised his arms and practically flung himself at Seonghwa. 

For months they hadn’t been able to touch each other at all, and now Seonghwa caught Wooyoung in his arms easily, holding him in a tight embrace, hoping to provide him with all of the warmth he hadn’t been able to feel in that time. Wooyoung buried his face in Seonghwa’s neck, and he didn’t struggle at all with control; he nuzzled the same scars he had created, and something inside of Seonghwa’s heart healed. 

“I - I can touch you again,” Wooyoung breathed, his voice a bit shaky now. “I passed the test, Seonghwa. I passed.”

Holding his hand against the back of Wooyoung’s head, Seonghwa nodded. “You passed. You did amazing, angel. I’m so proud of you,” he praised, basking in the comfort of this kind of innocent touch, full of nothing but the kind of love that was unconditional. While Hongjoong’s touches were full of questions, Wooyoung’s embrace quieted all of Seonghwa’s thoughts, calming him down at last. 

Wooyoung sniffled, tears already falling against the skin of Seonghwa’s neck. “I’m so sorry,” he blurted, holding Seonghwa tighter, clutching onto him as the words streamed right out of him. “I’ll never hurt you again. You don’t ever have to be scared of me again. I’m okay now. I’m - I’m okay.” He laughed, a waterlogged sound, full of a visceral relief. “I’m really okay.” 

“You are,” Seonghwa murmured against Wooyoung’s hair. “That feeling from before, the one you hated… it’s gone. I promise, it’s gone.” As soon as those words left his lips, Wooyoung started to cry in earnest, soft sobs muffled against Seonghwa’s skin. 

Blinking back his own tears, Seonghwa scanned the faces of the other vampires, all of them watching the exchange. Their expressions could only be described as fond, and not a single eye in the room remained dry. Wooyoung was so loved. Every vampire within this coven was so incredibly loved, and Seonghwa’s tears fell faster at the thought. 

He felt so lucky to be a part of this, no matter how long it would last. To be here on this important day for Wooyoung, to bear witness to the kind of love that existed between this entire coven… that alone was worth any of the pain that he would face later on. For now, he just wanted to soak it all in, in hopes that he would never forget this feeling. 

“Angel, there’s a whole party set up for you too, you know,” Seonghwa said, pulling back just enough to look at Wooyoung’s face. His cheeks were shiny with his tears, and his eyes were rimmed with red, and he looked so adorable that Seonghwa’s heart ached. “You passed your test, and you deserve to enjoy yourself now. We’re all so proud of you.” 

All of the others chipped in with words of their own, and Wooyoung took a step back to look at them all, his hand sliding down to find Seonghwa’s warmer one. He laced their fingers together, and now that they were able to touch again Seonghwa had the feeling that Wooyoung would never let go. 

Yunho and Yeosang began to show off all of their decorations after that, and Wooyoung’s laughter filled the room as his tears dried. Even during the moments when he had struggled the most, he had still always possessed a certain innate joy to him, but this was the first time Seonghwa had seen him truly happy. He was able to let go of all of his pain, and the smile he wore now was contagious, mirrored on the faces of everyone else. 

Unable to keep the smile off of his own lips either, Seonghwa followed along with the tour of the decorations, before the whole group of them sat down by the fireplace. Wooyoung was wearing a crown that Yunho had made for him, perched on his head at an odd angle as he laughed endlessly, sitting between San and Seonghwa. 

He was pressed right up against San’s side, but he kept his hand in Seonghwa’s as well, entirely content as the group of them joked and bickered. They were all so carefree, and Seonghwa did his best to embody that quality as well, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest that persisted all the while. 

Wooyoung spared him a few odd glances over the course of the night, and at one point when San and Mingi erupted into a heated argument over something that had happened over a century ago, he leaned closer to speak in Seonghwa’s ear. “What’s going on with you?” he asked, his voice quiet so that no one else would hear, eyes wide with concern. 

“Nothing,” Seonghwa replied without missing a beat, for he had been asked that same question plenty of times lately. Perhaps that was a sign that he was doing a terrible job of hiding his feelings. “I’m fine, Wooyoung. Don’t worry about me.” 

Shaking his head, Wooyoung squeezed Seonghwa’s hand. “All while I was a fledgling, you were the one worrying about me. It’s my turn to do the same for you.” His lips lifted into a gentle smile, but he didn’t press any further, merely leaving Seonghwa with those words as he redirected his focus to San and Mingi. 

The rowdy energy persisted for hours, until finally they began to drop like flies, one vampire at a time dragging their feet up the stairs to collapse into bed and sleep the day away. Seonghwa was a bit tired, but he wanted to stay awake until Hongjoong came home in case he needed to feed, so he resigned himself to staying on the couch for a while. Even if he fell asleep out here, Hongjoong would bring him up to his room when he arrived home. 

Eventually, only Wooyoung and San remained, all of the other vampires up in their rooms. San was moments away from joining the rest, his head lolled back against the couch and his lips slightly parted, heavy eyelids sinking and then opening with more of a delay each time. Seonghwa and Wooyoung remained quiet, both of them watching until San’s eyes finally closed for good, a soft snore rumbling in his throat.

“He snores so loud, sometimes,” Wooyoung whispered, pulling a face, and Seonghwa smiled. Despite his teasing, Wooyoung gently guided San’s head to rest against his shoulder, wrapping an arm around him to make him a bit more comfortable. “I’ll take him upstairs in a little while. I just want to talk to you first.”

Seonghwa had expected that, and he sighed, all of the thoughts he had tried to repress since Wooyoung had arrived back home now emerging once more. He didn’t know how to put any of it into words, how to explain the inner turmoil going on inside of him, but if anyone would understand he knew it would be Wooyoung. After all, he had been a human a year ago, in love with San while he waited to come off of the waitlist, his mortal body aging while San’s remained stagnant. 

When Seonghwa didn’t say anything, Wooyoung’s expression softened, the firelight reflected in his eyes as he chewed at his bottom lip for a moment. “I know that something is going on inside your head. And I know that maybe you don’t want to say anything to the others, because you’re afraid that they might not understand, but Seonghwa, I will. I promise you that I will. I think I already know what’s on your mind, at least in part, because I’ve been in your position before. I’m sorry I didn’t bring it up sooner, I just - I was so fixated on the test, because I wanted to pass. I wanted to be able to touch you again, and know that I’m not a danger to you.” 

He plucked the words right out of Seonghwa’s brain, and Seonghwa sank further into the couch as he finally let go of the tension in his muscles, seeing no reason to resist this conversation. After repressing his feelings for so long, they were begging for release, and he trusted Wooyoung especially to understand. 

“I’m - I’ve been scared,” he blurted, finally putting the words out there, hyper aware of every beat of his anxiety-ridden heart. “Ever since the masquerade, I’m so scared, Wooyoung. I just - I don’t know what to do. I feel so out of control, and it makes me feel sick.” His hands started to tremble, and he clenched them into fists, although that didn’t help the unsteadiness of his words. 

But when he looked at Wooyoung, all he found was understanding reflected back at him, warm and unassuming. “Because you’re a human,” he murmured, filling in the gaps, and nausea turned in Seonghwa’s stomach. “And we aren’t. And you’re afraid that as you age, you won’t have a place here the way you do now.” 

Seonghwa opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn’t find his voice, a choked sound escaping instead. His eyes started to burn, and he blinked rapidly in a failed attempt to clear the tears away. He didn’t understand why he couldn’t hold back his emotions anymore, but Wooyoung rested a soothing hand on his shoulder. 

“It’s okay to cry,” he said, and his own eyes looked a bit misty. “It’s okay to feel upset. It’s okay to be confused, and lost, and hurt by all of these factors that exist outside of your control. The situation that you’re in is really hard, Seonghwa. And I don’t think you’ve let yourself truly feel those emotions, which isn’t good. Holding it all in will only make it feel worse.” 

Pressing his trembling lips together, Seonghwa wiped at his cheeks with shaky fingers. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, shaking his head. “I don’t - I don’t know how to feel everything, because I don’t understand what I’m feeling. When I was y-young, the only way to survive was to repress it all. That’s a hard habit to break, now.” He took a shuddering breath, more tears replacing the old ones. “I don’t know if I want to break it.” 

Staring at Seonghwa for a long moment, Wooyoung didn’t respond right away. Instead, he turned back to San and shifted his body with gentle hands, guiding him to lie back against the couch cushions instead. He didn’t stir, a garbled snore drawn out of him as his position was adjusted, and once he was satisfied Wooyoung turned back to Seonghwa. 

“Can I hug you?” he asked, and Seonghwa nodded. Wooyoung held his arms out, and Seonghwa leaned right into them, a sigh pulled out of him at the contact. “I want to tell you something, if that’s okay. Because I think that you have to let yourself feel, even when it’s hard. Especially when it’s hard.” 

He rubbed a hand over Seonghwa’s back, and Seonghwa bit his lip hard to keep himself from crying, his chest so tight that his breathing was strained. But still he listened as Wooyoung continued to speak, hanging onto his every word, relieved that he hadn’t been left to deal with this all alone. 

“I’ve always been someone who feels everything strongly; all emotions, good and bad. I laugh loudly, and I cry really hard, and I love with everything my heart has to offer. I’ve always been like that, because that’s how I was raised. My mother encouraged me to feel everything, to never hide something like that,” Wooyoung explained, and his words didn’t come as a surprise at all. 

“Not only do I always let myself feel all of my emotions, but I also feel the emotions of others as if they were my own. Empathy, that’s what it’s called. I have a really strong sense of empathy, and my mother always made that into a beautiful thing. I’ve never once thought it to be bad, even though it may seem that way to other people. When my loved ones cry, I do too. When they’re happy, I feel happy too. Do you understand?” 

Seonghwa nodded, awed by the size of the heart inside of Wooyoung’s chest. How could it possibly fit inside of this one small boy, when it seemed larger than the world itself? 

“When my mom died, though, I shut down completely. I didn’t know how to feel anything without her there, and so I kept it all inside, because I was so afraid of the hurt. I couldn’t bear to feel any of it, because I knew she wasn’t coming back. There would be no resolution, no happy ending, and that hurt worse than any other pain I had experienced before. I - I didn’t even go to her funeral. I couldn’t bear to go, and I regret that every day.” 

He sniffled, clutching onto Seonghwa tighter now, drawing just as much comfort from the embrace. “I sat by her gravestone every single day without a word. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, because I knew I would cry, but I hoped that she could feel everything that existed inside of my heart. But I wasn’t okay - I was deteriorating so much. My hair was falling out, and I couldn’t eat - I was sick. I was so afraid of my own hurt that I was making myself sick.” 

Pulling back to look Seonghwa in the eye, he cupped both of his hands around Seonghwa’s cheeks, both of them crying now. “Once I met San, I started to heal, but Seonghwa… I don’t want to see that happen to you. You have to let yourself feel things. Even when it’s scary. Because the hurt is going to come out in other ways, then, and you don’t want that.” 

“I know,” Seonghwa breathed, a tear rolling past his lips, salt infiltrating the seal of his mouth. “It just - it hurts, Wooyoung. My heart hurts.” 

“It won’t hurt forever. I know it hurts now, but it won’t hurt forever. Feeling it is proof that you aren’t alone anymore, that you don’t have to repress everything for your own safety. You aren’t alone anymore, Seonghwa.” 

Those words shifted something inside of Seonghwa’s chest, unlocking the vice around his heart, some of the pressure there loosening as his tears fell faster. A sob escaped his lips, and Wooyoung pulled him into an embrace again, giving him the comfort he needed without even needing to be asked. 

“I don’t want to be left behind,” he admitted at last, his voice cracking over the words. “I don’t want to continue to age when none of you ever will. I can’t bear to watch your perceptions towards me change over time. It’ll break me, Wooyoung. It’ll break me into pieces, and I’ve grown used to being whole since I met all of you. I can’t live half a life anymore when I know what it feels like now to live a full one.” 

“I won’t leave you, Seonghwa. You’ve done so much for me. I could never feel differently about you. I don’t care what you look like, if that’s what you’re worried about - your heart will never change, and that’s all that matters,” Wooyoung insisted, but his words only made Seonghwa cry harder, struggling to articulate his feelings. 

He knew that he could be honest with Wooyoung, that the boy would never abandon him, but that didn’t necessarily lessen the hurt either. “It would never be the same,” he choked out, breath hitching. “I d-don’t want things to change. I’m so afraid of that. I’m just - I’m scared, Wooyoung. I’m so scared. Because I’m going to die one day, and you aren’t. I’m going to grow old, and you aren’t. I can’t stay here forever, not like the rest of you.” 

“Is it… is it because you think you can’t also become a vampire if you wanted?” Wooyoung ventured, and a sob fell from Seonghwa’s lips, because he had refused to even let himself consider that option. 

The force of his emotion made him want to gag, and he couldn’t answer right away. “Wooyoung, my - my life has been awful. I didn’t know what it meant to feel happy until I met the seven of you. The thought of living forever… it isn’t something I would ever want. I used to wish for my life to end early, sometimes. Do - do you understand?” 

“Oh,” Wooyoung breathed, his voice cracking. “Oh, Seonghwa. I’m so sorry.” 

Seonghwa shook his head, pushing past that, for he didn’t want to think about it. “I know that a lot of people think life is too short, but I’ve never seen it that way. To me, life has been far too long, and I’m only in my twenties. And I’m happier here than I’ve ever been before, but the thought of living forever is terrifying. Because… what if you all stop wanting me? What if I wind up alone again, and this time there’s no end in sight?”

He had never said any of these things aloud until now, and even as he dissolved into sobs, a fraction of the weight lifted from his chest just by sharing the burden with someone he trusted. The negative emotions had been festering inside of him for so long, poisoning all of the positive moments as well, and breathing became a bit easier despite his cries. 

“Seonghwa, no,” Wooyoung breathed, arms tightening around his shaking form. “That - that would never happen. Every single one of us loves you. I know that you’re worried about a lot of things right now, but… you don’t have to worry about that. I know that you’ve never had anyone to rely on before, but you have us for as long as you want us. You have me. You have Hongjoong. That won’t change, angel.” 

“I just - I don’t want to live forever. I never have,” Seonghwa said again, his breathing erratic now, the tears burning the skin of his cheeks. “But the scariest part is that… I would still do it if he asked me to.” And he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else, squeezing his eyes shut, but Wooyoung understood anyway. 

His voice was gentle, but knowing. “Hongjoong,” he murmured, and it wasn’t a question, either. “You… you love him, don’t you?” 

With tears rolling past his lips, Seonghwa’s words were coated with salt. “I don’t know. When it comes to him, I - I think I’ve been a little bit in love with him since the night we met. He is the one who changed everything for me. And I know that I would do anything he ever asked of me, no matter how painful, but he never asks for anything from me . He’s never once asked me to let him feed. He doesn’t ask for affection from me, even though I’ve asked him to - to hold me, to stay with me. And I know that’s because he doesn’t want to hurt me, because he follows the pace that I set every time, but… sometimes I wish he would ask. Even just once, I wish he would ask. Because then I would know that - that he wants those things just as much.” 

He hadn’t intended to say so much, but the words had spilled right out of him, feelings that he had never actually examined enough to understand. “I know that he thinks I’m beautiful, because he tells me all the time. And I know that he has some kind of - of feelings for me, because he’s made that clear from the start, but then… why? If he loves me, why doesn’t he ever ask me to stay?”

“You’re worried because you know that if you were to mention being turned like the rest of us, he would say yes in a heartbeat, but…” Wooyoung trailed off, and Seonghwa winced as he finished the sentence. 

“But he would never ask me,” he whispered, heart aching. “He would never ask me to go through that. And I understand why, but… I would only want to become a vampire if he asked me to stay with him forever. If he actually wanted it enough to ask. That’s the only way I would be willing to extend my life, because the thought of doing that terrifies me. It scares me so much, Wooyoung.” 

Wooyoung made a soft sound of understanding, crying right along with Seonghwa, even though none of this pain belonged to him. “I understand how you feel, although you have more of a reason to be afraid than I do, given your past. But when I met San, even after I was added to the waitlist, I had to wait a while. So I got to know and love all of these vampires, and I knew I was in love, but I didn’t know when I would be able to join the coven. I didn’t know if I would ever reach the top of the list, even though Hongjoong was pulling strings behind the scenes. I didn’t know how much he could really do.” 

With a sigh, Wooyoung continued, his voice possessing more strength with each moment that passed. “But Seonghwa, you have to believe in Hongjoong. He did all of that for me, all because of San’s feelings for me. He barely even knew me at that point. But you… you’re different for him. We can all see that, and if he knew you felt this way, he wouldn’t let it continue. He would do anything, even to his own detriment, in order to make you happy. You should talk to him.” 

He was right, for what was the sense in suffering like this, all alone? Every other time when Seonghwa had struggled, Hongjoong always had a soothing effect on him, one that Seonghwa had never been able to find anywhere else. Talking to Wooyoung had lessened the burden already, but Hongjoong would stop at nothing to eliminate it entirely - he had already proven that more than once. 

When Wooyoung had lost control that day, Hongjoong had pieced Seonghwa back together, with gentle hands and kind words and the kind of care that Seonghwa had never known before. When Seonghwa had fallen ill, Hongjoong had never left his side, constantly fretting over him until he healed in full. 

The kind of hurt that Seonghwa felt now wasn’t physical, but would Hongjoong not react the same anyway? Seonghwa knew him well enough by now to know that he would do anything to ensure that the people he loved were okay, after all. And Seonghwa was a part of that group, despite everything. 

“I will,” Seonghwa said at last, pulling back from Wooyoung’s embrace and wiping his eyes. The salt of his tears had irritated his skin, and his field of view was lessened by how swollen his eyes had become. “I’ll talk to him. I couldn’t bring myself to do it earlier, because I couldn’t figure out how to articulate my feelings, but now I think I know. Thank you, Wooyoung.” 

Wooyoung smiled, his own cheeks wet as well. “I’ll always be here to listen when you need me. I’m a real vampire now - you don’t have to worry about me anymore. I can worry about you instead!” He looked so pleased that Seonghwa had to smile too, sniffling with every small hitch in his breath. 

“You should bring San upstairs. I’m surprised he slept through all of that-” Seonghwa began, but he stopped abruptly when the front door opened, the two of them sharing a wide-eyed glance. In all that time, Seonghwa had forgotten that Hongjoong would be home soon, and he sat up straight as his heartbeat kicked into a faster speed, soaking up the last of his tears with his sleeves. Not that it mattered - the evidence of his breakdown was written all over his face anyway. 

With a resigned sigh, he stood from the couch just as Hongjoong entered the living room, his hair unruly from the wind. He looked handsome in a white silk shirt and black pants, Seonghwa’s heartbeat stumbling over a beat at the mere sight of him. Immediately, his eyes landed upon Seonghwa, a lopsided grin lighting up his face before he took note of Seonghwa’s swollen eyes and the red tinge to his cheeks and nose. 

He strode forward, stopping right before Seonghwa, reaching out to cup his elbow with one of his hands. “What happened? Are you alright?” Any sign of his momentary joy was gone now, replaced with concern as he searched Seonghwa’s face, checking him over for any visible source of pain. 

“I’m okay,” Seonghwa reassured, mustering up a weak smile as he found Hongjoong’s hand and squeezed it once. Even after the masquerade, neither of them had forgotten their code, but Hongjooong didn’t seem fully convinced this time. “Nothing happened. We celebrated for a while, and then everyone else went to bed. Wooyoung and I have just been talking, and… we just got a little emotional, that’s all.”

He wasn’t technically lying, but guilt clouded the space behind his ribs anyway. Now wasn’t the time to be honest with Hongjoong about everything, not when exhaustion was already weighing heavy on Seonghwa’s eyelids, the occasional hiccup still lingering after crying for so long. He wanted to talk to Hongjoong when the time was right, so for now, he was grateful when Hongjoong took the bait. 

“Oh, I understand. I hope you both made up for lost time,” he said, the smile returning, albeit more restrained now. They both looked towards Wooyoung, who was currently struggling to lift San’s dead weight from the couch, sharing a fond glance. “Do you need help, Wooyoung?” 

“No, I - I can do it,” Wooyoung insisted, finally managing to get a hand under San’s back, lifting him bridal style while he continued to doze. He could sleep through anything, it seemed. “I’m a real vampire now, you know. I’m stronger. I can help San as much as he’s helped me.” 

He looked very proud of himself, and Seonghwa knew that Hongjoong was just as endeared as he was. “Alright, well… don’t drop him down the stairs. We’ll follow the two of you, so that we can catch him if it comes to that,” Hongjoong replied, which earned him a whined complaint from Wooyoung, something about Hongjoong being overbearing. 

Seonghwa smiled to himself as he watched the two of them, thinking back to all that Wooyoung had said to him, feeling less out of control now. He would talk to Hongjoong; otherwise, he would only be prolonging his own suffering, and there was no sense in that. 

He trusted Hongjoong more than anyone on this earth, vampire or human, that was the simple truth. Despite the question of romantic feelings, the heated tension that existed between the two of them, Hongjoong had made it clear time and time again that Seonghwa was a top priority for him. 

Seonghwa hoped that this time would be no exception. 

~

The next night, only a few hours after sundown, a knock sounded against Seonghwa’s door. He was awake, sitting at his desk as he focused on completing a lego set, a gift that Mingi had given him on his birthday in April. Seonghwa had always known what legos were, but as a child he had only ever played with the mismatched assortment at the orphanage. This was the first time he had ever put together a full set, and he was incredibly invested in the activity. 

Mingi had apparently browsed the lego store for upwards of an hour until he found the perfect one, and Seonghwa was eager to complete it, so that he could display the finished product in his room. The picture on the box was of a small brown cottage, one that looked so cozy Seonghwa would have loved to live there in another life, surrounded by flowers and trees. 

However, Mingi had chosen it mostly because of the angel standing in the garden, surrounded by a variety of other creatures, with a fox at his feet. Seonghwa had skipped through half of the included booklet to make the angel first, and he had made the fox as well, the two figures resting off to the side now as he focused on making the cottage. The process of making the lego was relaxing, and he was excited to pick out another one after this one was done. 

At the sound of the knock, Seonghwa finished adding the current lego piece before standing from his desk, stretching his arms over his head and moving towards the door. Most of the others had told him to barge into their rooms whenever he wanted, for privacy wasn’t a thing that mattered to them, but Seonghwa still wasn’t entirely like that. He appreciated having his own space, and all of the others respected that. 

He pulled open the door to find Hongjoong on the other side, his face lighting up as soon as Seonghwa came into view. “Hey there, darling,” he said, the accented words rolling right off his tongue. “Can I show you something?” 

Seonghwa blinked at him, expecting for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. “Show me what?” he pressed, but Hongjoong’s grin only grew as he shrugged his shoulders.

“Come with me and you will find out,” he countered, and Seonghwa rolled his eyes, although his lips twitched upwards as well. Hongjoong always had that effect on him. 

He took a step back, gesturing for Hongjoong to come inside. “Are we actually going somewhere? Because I’m really not ready, I’ve just been doing my legos-” 

Hongjoong was already standing by the desk, examining the half-built lego cottage, brushing the pad of his finger gently over Seonghwa’s handiwork. “I don’t think I would have the patience to do this, but it looks really nice,” he complimented, and Seonghwa’s cheeks warmed. “I’m glad that you’re having fun making it. As long as you still agree that my gift was better than everyone else’s.” 

Biting back a laugh, Seonghwa nodded, for he couldn’t actually deny that claim. Hongjoong’s gift had been his favorite by far, and he wore it every day, the handcrafted silver necklace fitted perfectly to his neck. Hongjoong had made it himself, and the ornate detailing that wound around his neck had been designed specifically to cover up his scars. A large ruby dangled from the middle, with additional gemstones encrusted along the rest of the necklace as well. Similar to the one that he had worn for the masquerade, but more luxurious.

“It’s my favorite, I promise,” he said, touching his fingers gingerly to the piece of jewelry. “It’s the most beautiful necklace I’ve ever seen. And I feel more comfortable in my own skin when I wear it.” 

Hongjoong’s expression softened at that, and he drew closer to Seonghwa, brushing a piece of hair behind his ear. “That is what matters to me the most,” he murmured in earnest. “And no, we are not going anywhere. You do not need to worry about your appearance, for I think you look beautiful regardless of your clothing. Will you come with me?” 

Forcing the pattern of his breathing to remain level, Seonghwa nodded, and Hongjoong took him by the hand. The two of them left Seonghwa’s room, moving towards the stairs, traveling up instead of down. Seonghwa didn’t spend a lot of time on any of the upper floors, and he was surprised when they passed the third floor as well, headed for the top level. 

“What do you even keep up here?” he asked as they stepped onto the landing, looking at his surroundings. The hallway looked much the same as all of the others, lined with doors, and Seonghwa couldn’t imagine that they were all full. Although, after being alive for centuries, he supposed that some of the vampires may require a lot of storage space. 

“Nothing of interest,” Hongjoong replied, guiding Seonghwa down the hall. “Storage, mostly. A lot of files. Some memorabilia from past times. I can show you some of those items another day, but that is not why I brought you here.” He stopped outside of the window all the way at the end of the right side of the hallway. 

Made from stained glass, the window depicted an image of eight figures standing in a circle, surrounded by panes of colored glass. The figures themselves were made from black glass, like silhouettes, and the only part that was distinguishable was the eyes, piercing red. A chill ran down Seonghwa’s spine, and he tore his gaze away from the glass, back to Hongjoong’s face. 

“That glass is a bit frightening, I know. It depicts the story I told you a while ago, about the eight original vampires. But this window is special, because it is the only one in the house that opens. Let me show you.” Hongjoong braced his hands against the bottom of the window and pulled, lifting the glass easily. 

A gust of fresh forest air blew into the house, crisp and cool as it entered Seonghwa’s lungs. Now that the nights were no longer cold, Seonghwa had been spending more time out on the porch again, for he had come to love the forest. Living in nature was more comfortable than living in the city, free of all the noise, the crowds, the mistreatment. The creatures within the forest didn’t care about Seonghwa’s status, after all. 

“Through this window is a fire escape that leads to the roof. This is the only way to reach the roof, but I would like to take you up there, if you are okay with that. If it frightens you, then we can stay here, but I think you will like the view. Have you ever seen the stars?” 

Seonghwa shook his head, peering out through the window, but all he could see were trees. “Not really,” he answered, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. “You can’t really see them in the city, and whenever I go outside now I always sit under the porch overhang, so I haven’t really looked at the sky much.” 

“Will you let me show you, then?” Hongjoong asked, one of his hands resting idly against Seonghwa’s waist, a silent question of its own. 

With his pulse pounding against his neck, Seonghwa nodded. “Okay,” he breathed. “You can show me. I’m afraid of heights, though, so the fire escape part might not go so well-” 

“You will be okay. It is simple - avoid looking down. The fire escape here is very sturdy, nothing like the ones in the city. I will not let anything happen to you.” His tone didn’t possess any doubt, and Seonghwa allowed the words to wash over him, calming his nerves. Hongjoong had never given him any reason not to trust him wholeheartedly, so believing him was like breathing, at this point. 

Hongjoong climbed through the open window first, the fire escape clanging dully beneath his feet. Once he was through, he reached a hand out to help Seonghwa cross through as well, supporting part of his weight. The window was wide enough to allow for easy movement, and Seonghwa was outside in a matter of moments, breathing in the sweet night air. 

He swept his gaze over the surroundings, taking care not to look down. The tops of the trees were visible from this height, swaying gently in the wind. He was momentarily mesmerized by the idea that trees so large could still bend with the invisible brush of the wind; staring openly towards the forest until Hongjoong nudged him to regain his attention. 

“Come,” he beckoned, gently guiding Seonghwa forward with a hand at his waist, so that he would be able to take the stairs first. The fire escape was too narrow for the two of them to walk side by side, but Hongjoong kept one hand on each side of Seonghwa’s waist, an ever present reminder that he was in no danger. “Take it slow. The wind is very mild tonight.” 

Releasing a slow breath, Seonghwa started to ascend the steps, freezing as soon as the fire escape shifted beneath him. “You are okay,” Hongjoong reminded, his voice close. “Do not let your mind tell you anything different. My hands are here to catch you, should you need them.” 

Struggling to keep his pounding heartbeat in check, Seonghwa continued to take each step one at a time, hardly breathing at all. By the time he reached the top, he had started to feel a bit dizzy, and he immediately stepped onto the flat portion of roof and moved away from the edge. Hongjoong stayed right behind him, wrapping Seonghwa in his arms immediately. 

“You did great, darling,” he praised, his touch immediately soothing Seonghwa’s lingering fear. “I’m so proud of you.” 

Seonghwa allowed himself to indulge in Hongjoong’s hold for a short while before pulling back, breathing a bit easier now that he couldn’t see the distance to the ground below. The roof was far sturdier beneath the two of them as well, and although the wind was more prominent at this height, the temperature was pleasant. 

“What now?” Seonghwa asked, watching as Hongjoong sat down on the roof and patted the space next to him. Seonghwa complied, and he found that from this position, the stars were impossible to miss. 

The sight stole his breath away, his eyes blowing wide. Thousands upon thousands of stars glittered up above their heads, some brighter than others, arranged seemingly at random all through the expanse of night that shrouded the forest. Every glimpse that Seonghwa had ever seen of the stars through the pollution of the city paled in comparison to this; he could not fathom that such beauty existed in this earth, that he had never seen it before. 

“They’re beautiful,” he breathed, his vision blurring with tears born from the swell of emotion in his chest, the veil around his heart disappearing. How could he hide parts of himself, when the universe was baring its very soul for him to see? “Oh my god, they’re beautiful.” 

“They are, truly,” Hongjoong murmured, and Seonghwa didn’t need to look at him to know that he was smiling. Both of them were leaning back against their palms, and Hongjoong shifted slightly to cover Seonghwa’s hand with his own, sending a jolt of electricity along Seonghwa’s skin. “They remind me of you.” 

Snapping his head to the side, Seonghwa looked at Hongjoong only to find him already staring, their eyes meeting. The corners of Hongjoong’s mouth raised slightly, his eyes reflecting the light from the galaxies up above their heads. He was so captivating that Seonghwa nearly forgot what he wanted to say, lips parting soundlessly before he collected himself. 

“How can that be?” he asked, a furrow forming between his brows. “I know that you like to tell me I’m beautiful, but… Hongjoong, no human could ever compare to a night sky full of stars.” 

“Mm, I know one human who could,” Hongjoong countered, nudging Seonghwa’s knee with his own. “Why are you so determined to not believe me when I say things like that? I would not lie about it. You are the only person to whom I have spoken such words, in the entire time I have been alive.”

That seemed impossible, but at the same time, Seonghwa was sure he was telling the truth. “Why?” He whispered, afraid to speak any louder than that. “I just don’t understand it. I’ve never been remarkable. I’ve never even been worth a kind word, to most people. So I don’t doubt that you believe what you’re saying, but I just…” he trailed off, sighing in defeat. “I just don’t understand what you see in me. Since the first night we met, you’ve been like this - why?”

Insecurity was innate to Seonghwa given his upbringing, or lack thereof, and he would typically keep all of those words to himself, but he couldn’t anymore. He was exhausted from always holding everything inside; just for once, he wanted to speak his mind. 

To his credit, Hongjoong didn’t recoil at the vulnerable nature of Seonghwa’s words; rather, he drew even closer, their legs pressed together now, hands still touching. “My definition of beauty differs from yours, a truth that I do not think you realize. I have seen many conventional displays of beauty in my time, and even those who are hailed by society as flawless in their human lifetime fade into redundancy for a vampire. Well, perhaps not for all vampires, but for me.” 

He offered Seonghwa a soft smile, possessing none of his usual edge. “But you are special, and that is what makes you beautiful to me. The night I first met you, I was entirely captured by you, because I could not figure you out in one glance like every other human out there. You intrigued me.” 

Seonghwa blushed, looking down at his lap to avoid Hongjoong’s gaze, but a gentle finger guided his head upwards once more. “You do not need to look away just because I am being honest with you,” Hongjoong murmured, cupping Seonghwa’s chin in his hand. “I like it when you look at me.” 

With his skin on fire despite the opposing temperature of Hongjoong’s hands, Seonghwa managed a nod, and Hongjoong continued. “You entrance me, Seonghwa. You fascinate me. When you let me hold you while you sleep, I wonder how a human life could have possibly changed my own immortal one this much. The power you possess over me is not human; it is not of this world at all. It is most similar to the awe one experiences when taking in the vast expanse of the universe that surrounds us. You are like the stars, darling.” 

“I’m really not so difficult to figure out,” Seonghwa murmured, still struggling to accept Hongjoong’s words, unable to view himself in such a positive light. “You are more of a mystery than I am.” 

Hongjoong shook his head, raising a brow. “I would do anything for you. I would wrangle the universe to ask for a star, if you wanted one. That is not so difficult to understand, I do not think. For a long time, I viewed my own existence as some kind of black hole, amorphous and sometimes violent. But when I met you… I discovered my own outline. You defined me. After centuries of roughness, you made me soft. Is it so hard to believe that I love you for that?” 

At those last words, Seonghwa choked on air, hunching forward as he coughed into his fist. Hongjoong’s hand rubbed at his back, and he could probably feel the increase in Seonghwa’s heart rate through his skin. “You - you can’t just say that,” Seonghwa wheezed, blinking hard. “Fuck, Hongjoong.” 

“Why is it the phrase ‘I love you’ that gives humans such grief?” Hongjoong pondered, amused now. “You did not react when I told you that you are like the stars, which is considerably more romantic, in my immortal opinion.” 

Entirely overwhelmed by all of Hongjoong’s words, Seonghwa forced himself to take a deep breath, leaning back once the risk of coughing dissipated. “Every single thing you say makes me react,” he replied, his voice still slightly choked, not entirely natural. “I don’t think I’ll ever figure you out.” 

“Life is more fun that way, is it not?” Hongjoong countered, and when Seonghwa looked his way again, he winked. Warmth stirred in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach, lively and electrifying. “But I mean every word that I say to you. I find you to be more captivating than the sky above us, because you are a star in your own right, and I am lucky enough to live in your orbit. Why would I focus on the ones in the distance when you are right here beside me?” 

“I don’t know… because the ones above us are special? You see me every day - these stars only come out at night.” 

“And they have been coming out at night for the entire time I have been alive. That does not make them more special than you. Tell me, do you know what stars truly are?” 

Seonghwa shook his head, for he had never had much of a chance to focus on education beyond the times he was forced to attend school by the truancy officer. He had learned enough to survive, reading and writing and basic mathematics, but history and science had never stuck well in his mind, because that kind of information wasn't as important to his immediate life as the other subjects. 

Still, he listened in interest as Hongjoong spoke, fascinated by the stars now that he had seen them in their true glory. “Stars are just balls of gas, with huge amounts of energy. There is a process called nuclear fusion that happens in the cores of stars, although I won’t bother explaining all of that, but essentially that process is what makes stars burn hot and bright.”

Looking back up towards the sky, Seonghwa found it hard to believe that those gentle, twinkling lights were so violent. “It does not seem that way from here, I know,” Hongjoong said, following Seonghwa’s train of thought. “But the sun is also a star, you know. Stars are not necessarily what they seem. They are not so gentle; they spend every day burning. They are not small, not insignificant. They are quite profound, if you ask me. That is why they remind me of you.” 

Biting his lip, Seonghwa watched the stars twinkle up above, and understanding wrapped around him like a blanket. “You really think that about me?” he asked, softer now. He looked to Hongjoong, suddenly feeling a bit nervous. “You mean it?” 

“I would not lie to you,” Hongjoong promised, a soft smile curving his lips. “I have not lied to you. You know how I feel about you - there is no need to have any doubt. If you do, then tell me. I do not want you to feel upset, or confused.” 

Now he was alluding to Seonghwa’s recent change in demeanor, and Seonghwa bit down harder on his lip, the nerves returning. “What is bothering you, darling? You can be honest with me. You have not been yourself since the masquerade.”

“You - you noticed it all the way back then?” Seonghwa asked, surprised. 

Hongjoong hummed. “I pay attention to you. I notice, darling. I promise you that I notice. I did not want to push you, because I know that you need time to process your emotions at times, but I have sensed that you have been struggling more than usual as of late. Will you tell me about it?” 

His words were gentle, unassuming. He was merely providing Seonghwa with an invitation to talk, if he wanted to, and that made it easier for Seonghwa to get the words out. After all, he had wanted to bring this up for a while now, but he had never found the right time. Not until now, with only the stars as their audience, the night breeze keeping their words private. 

Inhaling a deep breath, Seonghwa filled his lungs, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m sorry that I haven’t said any of this sooner,” he started, even though he knew Hongjoong would never fault him for that. “I talked with Wooyoung about a lot of things last night, and he was able to provide me with enough clarity to understand why I feel this way. So… I want to just be honest with you, because you’ve always been honest with me.” 

Hongjoong shifted to cover Seonghwa’s hand more fully with his own, a silent show of support. He didn’t interrupt, which Seonghwa appreciated, for getting all of this out would be hard enough on its own. 

With Hongjoong beside him like this, their skin touching and the atmosphere reflecting the intimacy that had grown between them over the months, he wasn’t so afraid to be honest. 

“I’m scared, because I feel so out of control the longer that I spend here with you and everyone else. Control is not an easy thing for me, because so many parts of my life have been out of my control. So when I do have control, I don’t know how to cope when it starts to slip through my fingers. And that’s how I’ve felt since the masquerade.” 

He swallowed hard, willing himself not to cry, at least not until he was finished. “I am terrified that I’ll be left behind, now that I finally found something that brightens my life, that makes all of my years of survival worth it. When I’m with you, I’m not just surviving - I’m living, for the first time. And I’ve made mistakes, and I sometimes don’t know how to handle how I feel, because all of this is new to me. 

“The way I feel about you scares me to no end, Hongjoong. After the masquerade, I think… I think I really understood for the first time that you provoke emotions within me that I’ve never felt before. But you’re going to live forever, and I’m going to die. I’m going to age, and you aren’t. So - so I keep thinking about the inevitable point when you’ll stop looking at me like I’m as beautiful as the stars. I won’t be able to bear it. I know that you’ve told me you want me, but the difference is that I need you, okay? I need you so badly that it hurts, but I won’t always have you. And I’m terrified for the day when you don’t want me anymore.”

By the time he was finished, his vision had blurred with tears, his breathing shallow. He stared down at the roof tiles beneath them, because he couldn’t bear to look Hongjoong in the eye, terrified for what he might find there. Being honest like this went against every instinct Seonghwa had built over his lifetime, but Hongjoong made him want to change. Hongjoong made him want to be better, to be honest about how he felt.

The sound of Hongjoong shifting reached his ears, the hand on top of his own disappearing. A moment later, both of Hongjoong’s hands came to rest gently around Seonghwa’s cheeks, guiding his gaze back up until their eyes met. “Darling,” he murmured, eyes searching Seonghwa’s face, full of emotions Seonghwa couldn’t quite decipher. “I need you. Not for your blood - that is the least important part of you, to me. I need you for everything that you are.” 

Seonghwa blinked, and twin tears rolled down his cheeks, dissolving into the seam of his mouth. “But I - I won’t live forever,” he breathed, for that was the thought that refused to leave him alone, that kept him up when he tried to fall asleep. 

A beat of silence followed his words, Hongjoong’s hands holding Seonghwa’s face in place, their breath mingling. “Do you want to?” Hongjoong asked, his voice quieter now.

With a soft gasp, Seonghwa could only stare, eyes wide. But Hongjoong didn’t push him for an answer, always willing to move at Seonghwa’s pace. “It’s never something I wanted before,” he admitted, held in place by Hongjoong’s gaze.

“And now?” Hongjoong continued, using the pad of his thumb to brush away the tears on Seonghwa’s cheeks. 

Struggling to collect himself, Seonghwa resisted the urge to look down at Hongjoong’s lips, for if he did that he would lose his grip on his thoughts entirely. “Do I want to live forever if I’m alone? No; I would sooner die than wish for that. But with you?” He paused, finally saying the words that had been sitting behind the seam of his mouth for ages. “Yes. With you, I - I want to live.” 

His lips trembled with that final admission, fresh tears escaping every time he blinked, and Hongjoong’s resulting expression was so tender that Seonghwa wished to never forget it. “You do not need to remain mortal while the rest of us live forever, if those worries have been plaguing you for this long. If you want to join this coven… I can make that happen.” 

A large part of Seonghwa did want that, but not like this. He closed his eyes for a moment, composing his thoughts before opening them again, hoping that Hongjoong could sense how much this all mattered to him. “I want you to ask me,” he breathed, afraid to even say the words. “For my entire life, I have made every choice, have dealt with all of the ways the world has wanted to make my life worse. For once, I just want to know that I’m making the right choice. I want to know that you want this, too.” 

“I have been hoping that you would come to feel this way since the night I met you,” Hongjoong said, not missing a beat. That was one of the things Seonghwa loved most about him - he always said what Seonghwa needed to hear, without pause. He never made Seonghwa wait, never made him wonder and jump to negative conclusions. 

“Really?” Seonghwa whispered, and Hongjoong nodded. 

“Seonghwa, there has never been anyone like you in all of the centuries I have been alive, and there will never be anyone like you in the future. I used to wonder why I had been condemned to this eternal fate, why I had been turned by the same creatures I detested with all of my being. I used to wish I had died with the rest of my slaughtered family. But… you make me feel so grateful that I survived, that I have lived for this long. You defined me; you give me a new purpose.”

He managed a smile, but his lips were a bit shaky now as well. “After my family died, I have had terrible nightmares ever since. Every single night, I would see their corpses, the blood, the gore. Those images are burned into my mind for eternity.” 

With an unsteady sigh, he moved his hands back further, his fingers carding through Seonghwa’s hair. “But when I met you, that changed. When I fall asleep holding you, I have no nightmares at all. But when I am alone, all of my nightmares are about losing you. So… what I am trying to convey is that you are not the only one who has been worried about that.” 

They stared at one another, and even the wind seemed to part around the two of them, respecting the intimacy of their moment upon the roof. “Can you really do it?” Seonghwa asked, afraid to get his hopes up. “The list is really long, isn’t it-”

“For you, I would do anything,” Hongjoong said, silencing Seonghwa in an instant. “It may take a year or two, but I will move you up the list as quickly as I can, just as I did for Wooyoung. You do not need to worry. As long as your record is clean, your application will go through, and I will bring this up with the council members at our next meeting.” 

“My record is clean,” Seonghwa confirmed, his heart swelling. “I’ve never been arrested, or anything like that. People were always doing things to hurt me - I’ve never done anything to hurt anyone else.” 

Hongjoong smiled, shifting even closer somehow, hardly any space between them for even the wind to pass through. “I assumed that would be the case,” he murmured, running his fingers through Seonghwa’s hair gently, cradling his head as if it were something precious. “I will take care of things, I promise. And I do not lie to you, you should know this by now.” 

Feeling happier than he had in weeks, Seonghwa returned the smile, blinking away his lingering tears. He wished to stay in this moment forever, to live up here on this roof if it meant Hongjoong’s arms would never pull away. 

“So then… you weren’t lying before either?” he asked, blushing now. “When you said, you know-”

“That I love you?” Hongjoong finished easily, and Seonghwa struggled not to choke all over again, clamping his mouth shut as he nodded. Eyes dancing with amusement, Hongjoong’s grin widened, and he shifted one hand to cup Seonghwa’s chin. “Darling, I thought that was obvious.” 

Seonghwa blinked hard, heart pounding against his ribs. Due to the current positioning of his hand, Hongjoong could probably feel his racing pulse, a realization that only deepened his blush. “But it’s illegal,” he reminded, although that had never bothered Hongjoong before. “This - us - it’s forbidden.” 

“That is rather funny, because I do not see anyone else here watching us,” Hongjoong mused, scanning the surrounding forest. 

Rolling his eyes, Seonghwa lightly hit his chest, biting back a laugh. “It’s just the principle, though-”

“The principle?” Hongjoong looked amused now, curving a brow. “Tell me, Seonghwa. Are you going to report me for breaking the law if I kiss you right now?” 

The smile fell from Seonghwa’s face in an instant, his eyes opening wide. “W-what?” he asked, dumbfounded. 

“It is a simple question. Are you?”

No longer breathing at all, Seonghwa shook his head, and Hongjoong grinned. “Well then, I do not see a problem. So, may I kiss you, my darling?” 

Realizing that his mouth had been hanging open, Seonghwa clamped it shut before nodding his head. “Yeah,” he breathed, his fingers shaking slightly. He curled them into loose fists, nerves coiling at the base of his spine. This wouldn’t be the first time he had experienced this kind of physical closeness, but it would be the first time someone cared about him enough to ask for his consent. “Please. Please kiss me.” 

Close as they were already, Hongjoong needed only to lean his head forward a few centimeters in order to capture Seonghwa’s mouth with his own, warmth blooming where their lips met. Seonghwa couldn’t hold back a gasp at the feeling of Hongjoong’s cold mouth against his own warm one, shifting his hands to rest against Hongjoong’s waist, while Hongjoong continued to cup his face. 

The kiss was gentle, and slow, and still the heat of desire flickered up Seonghwa’s spine as he felt Hongjoong’s tongue brush past his own. Seonghwa had expected the fangs to present a problem, but they didn’t; Hongjoong merely used them to tease Seonghwa, grazing the points lightly over his bottom lip without breaking any skin. 

A shiver ran down Seonghwa’s spine, and when Hongjoong brought him closer, he allowed himself to be handled by those familiar hands. Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa right into his lap, Seonghwa’s legs straddling his waist, the moon and stars providing a dull glow that turned Hongjoong’s porcelain skin into pure silver. 

Even with their bodies touching like this, Hongjoong was still respectful, his hands migrating down to Seonghwa’s waist but staying in place, not moving anywhere else. At least, not until Seonghwa reached down as well and squeezed Hongjoong’s hand once, a silent message that this was okay. And it was the truth - Seonghwa didn’t feel afraid, or wary, or out of control in any way. His nerves were positive ones, born from his attraction to the vampire beneath him. 

Hongjoong slid one hand below the fabric of Seonghwa’s shirt, spreading it over the plane of his back, feeling the small knobs of his vertebrae. Seonghwa gasped, gaining confidence as he pressed his tongue past Hongjoong’s lips, purposely brushing over one of his fangs. 

In response, Hongjoong’s body jerked, a physical reaction to Seonghwa’s contact with his fangs. Grinning into the kiss, Seonghwa paid attention to his fangs again, placing his hands around Hongjoong’s neck, running his nails over the skin there with light pressure. Hongjoong groaned, pulling back for a moment, panting against Seonghwa’s lips. 

“You are a tease,” he breathed, eyes dark with desire, and Seonghwa’s smile only grew. “I did not expect that from you.” 

“Good,” Seonghwa said, playing idly with the hair at the nape of Hongjoong’s neck. “You like it when I keep you on your toes, didn’t you say that?” 

Hongjoong licked over his bottom lip, a certain hunger in his expression. He closed the gap between their lips again, this time with more urgency, his cold hands roaming over Seonghwa’s heated skin. Seonghwa lost himself in the sensation, trailing his own hands down Hongjoong’s back. 

He focused on the fangs again, and this time he purposely dragged his tongue against the sharp point hard enough to draw a small line of blood. The moment Hongjoong tasted it, his entire body stiffened, a low growl rumbling from his throat. But even then, Seonghwa wasn’t afraid, and he allowed Hongjoong to adjust their position, to press his back into the roof tiles. 

Hovering over him, Hongjoong’s eyes were black now, the moon forming a halo around his head. “Seonghwa, if you do that to me now, I will struggle to maintain my usual control,” he said, his voice uneven, driven off balance by this kind of contact. Something about that made Seonghwa feel proud, and he tugged Hongjoong’s face down to meet his own, pressing a long kiss to his lips before responding. 

“I trust you,” he breathed, and nothing else mattered. “You would not hurt me, I know that. You do not always need to let me set the pace - if you want something, you can ask for it.” 

Hongjoong’s weight settled further on top of Seonghwa’s body, and he dipped his head down to find Seonghwa’s neck, trailing his lips over the skin there. Seonghwa tilted his head to bare his throat, and Hongjoong moved the necklace to the side, paying special attention to Seonghwa’s scars. 

“I want to feed from you,” Hongjoong said eventually, his words muffled against the skin of Seonghwa’s neck. “When I tasted your blood just now, I struggled not to sink my fangs into you immediately. I desire you with such intensity that it consumes me. Will you let me feed from you like this?” 

Every word he said contributed to Seonghwa’s current intoxication, and he nodded, threading his fingers through the hair at the nape of Hongjoong’s neck. “Yes,” he whispered, for he found that he craved it as well, the feeling of those fangs drawing the blood from his neck as Hongjoong cradled his waist, his hip. His mind swam at the mere thought. 

He felt the familiar prick of Hongjoong’s fangs at his neck, almost comforting at this point, after all of the times Hongjoong had drank from the area. As he pierced the area, one of his hands raised to move Seonghwa’s hair out of the way, coming to rest gently against the other side of his neck. Numbness spread over the area as he began to draw blood from the punctures, and Seonghwa sighed, resting his head back against the roof and looking up at the sky. 

The stars winked down at him, the night breeze cooling his skin, Hongjoong’s hands having a similar effect. Seonghwa allowed himself to drift in the pleasure that accompanied the drug in Hongjoong’s saliva, his vision blurring slightly, his eyelids sinking. He wanted to drown in this feeling, to stay in it forever. 

“Stay with me, darling,” Hongjoong said after a few minutes, tapping at Seonghwa’s cheek as he pulled back. “It is not time to sleep just yet.” 

Seonghwa hummed, but he tried his hardest to obey as Hongjoong returned to his neck, his heartbeat finally slowing back to its usual pace now. However, one specific memory rose to the forefront of his mind as he tried to keep himself present, and he blinked hard as he reached for Hongjoong’s head, tapping at his cheek now to get his attention. 

Immediately pulling away, Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa with a frown. “Is something wrong? I will stop-” 

“No, it’s not that,” Seonghwa murmured, shaking his head. “I just… remembered something. Something that Yunho said a while ago.” 

Evidently not following Seonghwa’s train of thought, Hongjoong’s frown deepened. “I do not understand.” 

Seonghwa sighed, but he was too dazed now to feel embarrassed about saying the words aloud. “He said that vampires can also feed from the inner thigh. It doesn’t always have to be the neck.” He left it there, but the proposition in his words was clear, and Hongjoong’s eyes fell to the area below his waist before rising back up to his face. 

“I do not believe that you are in the right state of mind to ask for that,” Hongjoong murmured, cupping one cold hand around Seonghwa’s cheek. “I will finish feeding from your neck, it is okay.” 

But Seonghwa shook his head, reaching out to grasp Hongjoong’s chin, forcing him to maintain eye contact. “I want it,” he said, voice raspy with desire. “I know what I’m asking for. I’ve wanted it since Yunho first mentioned it.” 

Hongjoong stared back at him, eyes widening a fraction further until he finally relented, moving his hands to brace against Seonghwa’s hips. A soft sound fell from Seonghwa’s lips at the contact, and he watched Hongjoong’s eyes darken with desire, heat stirring in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach at the sight. He leaned forward to lick over the wounds along Seonghwa’s neck, still not forgetting to heal them first. 

Those hands wandered to the waistband of Seonghwa’s pants, thumbs hooking beneath it. “Are you sure?” Hongjoong asked again, although he appeared to be just barely controlling himself. 

“Just do it already,” Seonghwa breathed, and Hongjoong wasted no more time, pulling at the waistband of the pants until the fabric pooled around Seonghwa’s knees. For a moment, Hongjoong paused to behold Seonghwa’s exposed skin, brushing a cold hand over the soft skin of his inner thigh. Seonghwa shivered at the feeling, heart hammering behind his ribs as he looked up at the stars, struggling to catch his breath. 

“Look at me,” Hongjoong said, and Seonghwa did as asked, his cheeks flushed with desire as he stared back at Hongjoong. “Do not look away from me.” The tone of his voice held Seonghwa in a trance, and he watched as Hongjoong lowered his head once more, this time sinking his fangs into the inside of Seonghwa’s exposed thigh. 

He gasped sharply at the feeling, for it was different from the neck or the wrist; electricity lanced through him, and his back arched slightly, his eyes widening. He still managed to keep looking at Hongjoong, but only barely; he felt like he was burning up from the inside out. 

One of Hongjoong’s hands came to rest on Seonghwa’s lower stomach, and after a few seconds his thumb dipped below the band of Seonghwa’s underwear, resting there. He didn’t move it any further, but it didn’t matter; that touch was enough to drive Seonghwa mad. 

The continual sensation of Hongjoong sucking at the skin of his thigh was blissful, and as the drug swept through Seonghwa’s bloodstream once more, he fully relaxed against the roof. He had never felt like this before, and he was high in a different sense this time; he never wanted the moment to end. He would have lived forever like this, if he could. Hongjoong told him again not to fall asleep, and he tried his hardest to obey, clinging to the last pieces of consciousness he had left. 

By the time Hongjoong finished feeding, Seonghwa was fighting sleep, blinking hard to keep his heavy eyelids from falling closed permanently. Hongjoong started to lick over the fang marks in Seonghwa’s thigh, and Seonghwa had the sudden urge to ask him to leave the wounds there, to let them scar. He would have liked to wear that marking forever, but he managed to restrain himself, for he knew that Hongjoong would never agree. 

“Oh, you look adorable like this,” Hongjoong murmured once he was finished, brushing Seonghwa’s hair back and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips, soft and gentle. “I adore you, I hope you know.” 

“I know,” Seonghwa slurred, a dazed smile lighting up his face. “You say things like that a lot.” 

Hongjoong chuckled at that, moving from his place hovering over Seonghwa now, and instead lying down beside him. The roof was surprisingly comfortable, but Seonghwa still curled into Hongjoong’s side, clutching the fabric of his shirt with one hand. Hongjoong’s arm came around his shoulder, holding him close. 

“Why’d you say I can’t sleep?” Seonghwa asked, a pout forming on his lips. “I’m sleepy.” 

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, Hongjoong spoke against the skin there for a moment, not pulling away. “You may sleep now,” he replied. “I wanted to be sure I was back in control first, that is all. I did not want you to fall asleep up here and wind up getting hurt because I lost focus. But I will stay awake while you rest. You do not have to worry about a thing.” 

“What ‘bout the sunrise?” Seonghwa murmured, his eyes closed already, head resting over Hongjoong’s still chest. “You’ll die.” 

With a soft laugh, Hongjoong pulled Seonghwa closer. “I will wake you before then, and the two of us will head back inside. I want you to experience sleeping under the stars at least once. Do not worry about me, darling.” 

“Mm, okay. Good night.” Seonghwa was already half asleep, but he managed to catch Hongjoong’s last words before fully losing the battle. 

“Good night, my star.” 

Chapter Text

Regulation #5: Vampires may possess human feeders, but only when the feeder has both consented to the arrangement and met all application requirements. A contract must be negotiated and signed by both parties. Upon the issuance of a contract, both parties are thus bound to the terms until expiration.

~

After their night on the roof together, Hongjoong guided Seonghwa through the application process for the turning waitlist, helping him to fill out the application itself and attach all of the necessary files that the government would need to examine before approving his request to join the list. Seonghwa was lacking a lot of the information they needed, but Hongjoong was able to conjure up some alternate documents that would work in place of a real birth certificate or a passport, signing off on everything as a council member. 

The application process itself was long winded, and by the time everything was finished and ready to go, Seonghwa was grateful just to have it out of his hands. He had no criminal record, and his position in society was far from vital, so Hongjoong assured him that there would be no issue. 

That entire process took about two weeks, and in that time Seonghwa had adjusted more comfortably to the idea of being turned, of becoming a vampire like all the rest. Whenever he recalled how awful the fledgling period had been for Wooyoung, apprehension clouded his mind, but he had to remind himself that he would only need to endure about a year of suffering before he was able to sustain himself and live his life as a vampire properly. 

After suffering for twenty-seven years, what was one more? At least, he tried to think that way, because otherwise he would want to rescind his application and continue to agonize over his lack of a future while surrounded by beings who would live forever. This was the only way to live forever with them, and despite the aspects of being turned that terrified him, Seonghwa did want that. 

He didn’t want to be left behind. 

The application went through a processing period as soon as everything was submitted, his information now in the hands of the human officials who handled the waitlist, and every day seemed to drag along as Seonghwa waited to hear back. He wanted to know for sure that this would be possible, because his hopes were already rising despite his hesitations, and he was terrified to have his heart broken. 

Hongjoong wasn’t involved in that process, for he had too personal a connection to Seonghwa to be considered an unbiased member of the council in this case. Instead, he informed Seonghwa that Kobeula was the one in conference with the human officials over his file, which wasn’t exactly comforting. Seonghwa didn’t know the first thing about her - what if she wanted to sabotage him just as much as all of the other vampires out there?

But he trusted Hongjoong, and Hongjoong trusted her, so he dealt with his nerves in silence. For those two weeks, Seonghwa heard nothing either positive or negative about his application result, until one fateful night when Hongjoong returned home from a council meeting a few hours before dawn, his mood visibly disconsolate from the moment he walked through the front door of the coven house. 

At the sound of the front door opening, Seonghwa stood from the couch where he had been sitting with Yeosang and Mingi, idly chatting while he finished eating one of his meals. Hongjoong was the only one not home, so Seonghwa knew it was him who had just entered the house, and he watched as the vampire stepped through the entryway and into the living room. 

“Hey,” Seonghwa greeted with a smile, stepping closer, but he froze in his tracks when Hongjoong looked towards him. His expression was dark, his jaw tight and his eyes hooded, tendons standing out along his neck. “Are you alright? Did - did something happen?” His blood ran cold as he asked that question, worst case scenarios running wild within the confines of his mind. 

Had something happened with his application? Had he been denied? Seonghwa bit down hard on the inside of his cheek, watching Hongjoong as he sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“The human officials finished going through all of your application information, along with the mandatory background check that has to be performed on every potential vampire candidate,” Hongjoong said, looking directly at Seonghwa, not even blinking. Sometimes when something was bothering him, he forgot about his body’s reflexes; in this case, he had stopped blinking, and Seonghwa was sure that he wasn’t bothering to breathe either. 

With a frown, Seonghwa stayed where he was, digging his fingernails into his skin, using the sharp pain to ground himself. “But… my background check is clean.” He stared at Hongjoong, and when he didn't immediately agree, the walls of the room started to close in. “It’s clean, isn’t it? I - I haven’t done anything bad.” 

Hongjoong sighed, and finally he drew closer to Seonghwa, setting down the messenger bag he brought with him to the council and taking both of Seonghwa’s hands into his own instead. “I know that, darling,” he assured, and Seonghwa exhaled a shaky breath, alarmed by this sudden change in atmosphere. “But those humans… they have done something, in an attempt to make you look bad, to make you ineligible for the waitlist.” 

Heart in his throat, Seonghwa stared at Hongjoong with wide eyes, lips parted in surprise. “What do you mean?” he breathed, fearing the answer. This wasn’t entirely hard to believe, though; humans hated feeders, and humans hated other humans who were struggling, who had no real place in the world. Seonghwa had been on the receiving end of that hatred all his life. 

“Typically, once an application review is completed by the human officials and one vampire consultant from our council, the human’s information is then presented to the joint human-vampire council, which consists of the four vampires as well as four humans from the judiciary system who have been elected into their positions by the other humans in their department. That happened today - your case was presented to the joint council,” Hongjoong explained, and Seonghwa swallowed hard, listening intently. 

“Once the topic of your background check was brought into discussion, the humans presented something that they claimed to have found, information provided by a receptionist at the blood bank where you applied to be a feeder that led to the discovery of inconsistencies in your medical files. That is why I feel upset, because these humans are claiming that you broke the law, and I know that if you had truly done that, you would have told me at the start of this process.” 

Seonghwa’s breath caught in his throat, and he looked down at the floor, unable to meet Hongjoong’s eyes. He didn’t even need to hear the rest of the details to know what information that receptionist had provided, for he was sure that Hongjoong was referring to the receptionist whom Seonghwa had asked to change his doctor that day, all those months ago. 

If they had discovered how Seonghwa had tampered with his own profile in their computer system… that would be enough to blacklist him from having any chance of being on the waitlist. The walls closed in further, and he felt strange in his own skin, numb to his surroundings as the consequences of his own actions began to set in. 

He continued to listen to Hongjoong, sinking further into despair. “They had low quality footage of someone using the computer in an examination room when the doctor left the room briefly, and they are trying to present the case that you are the man in the video, that the inconsistencies in your file were your doing and not a product of their own oversight. But if anyone tampered with the system, it is them. I will not let them do this to you, Seonghwa. I will continue to fight for your honor, and you will get on that waitlist. I promise.” 

The overwhelming force of Seonghwa’s guilt made it impossible for him to breathe, his eyes starting to burn as he wished that he could go back in time and stop himself from logging onto that computer and changing his information. Hongjoong likely would have chosen him anyway, and that was the part that hurt the most. 

“Hongjoong, I…” Seonghwa’s voice broke as he trailed off, afraid to admit his own role in all of this. But Hongjoong was looking at him expectantly now, and he forced the words out, squeezing his eyes shut. “I did go on that computer. That person in the video… it was me. I just - I was never medically eligible to donate blood, and I was so desperate to become a feeder because I just - I needed the money, I needed somewhere to stay, and I was afraid that nothing would ever come of it if I didn’t do something-” 

“What?” Hongjoong asked, his voice soft with disbelief as he stared at Seonghwa, expression slack with shock. His lips parted as if to speak again, but no sound came out, and the guilt that curled in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach was so oppressive that bile rose up his throat, bitter against the back of his tongue. “Why would you not tell me?” 

Sucking in a breath, a tear blinked free as Seonghwa gripped Hongjoong’s arms, desperate to make him understand. “No, I just - it slipped my mind. I didn’t think that - that anyone knew about that. I thought I covered my tracks well enough, I didn’t expect-” 

“But you did not tell me,” Hongjoong said again, and Seonghwa could see in his face that he was losing his sympathy, his expression not quite so soft anymore. The sight drove a sharp pain through Seonghwa’s chest, because Hongjoong had only ever looked at him with love before. But the look in his eyes was something else, now - confusion, maybe. Hurt. 

“When you asked if I had a record, I was honest! I don’t have a criminal record, that was just something I did to make my feeder application more appealing. I was desperate, Hongjoong! I was headed for an early grave if I couldn’t figure something out, and so I did something illegal, and I’m sorry! I didn’t know what else to do.” A sob fell from Seonghwa’s lips, and he heard the sounds of movement from behind him as Yeosang and Mingi quietly left the room. 

Hongjoong sighed, the corners of his mouth tight. “I understand that, but I need you to understand something as well. I spent hours in that council room defending your honor, claiming that the man in that video was not you. And then I come home, and you tell me the opposite. I do not resent you for what you did back then, but I could have made that video disappear before your application was submitted if you had told me. Issues on your medical records were not worth breaking the law; I have never seen a feeder on that portal that doesn’t have a - a plethora of deficiencies. Healthy people do not become feeders. Your records never had to be perfect.” Shaking his head, Hongjoong’s throat moved as he swallowed, expression stony. “Fuck, Seonghwa. You should have told me.” 

That was the first time Seonghwa had ever heard him swear like that, and he flinched at the harsh sound as it left Hongjoong’s lips, for none of this was right. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, still clutching onto Hongjoong, afraid that he was going to leave. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for that to happen. They - they made it sound like I needed perfect medical records to be considered. I just - I had no idea, I thought I had to do it. I thought I had to. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry. I’m - I’m so sorry.” 

The words continued to tumble out of him, his breath hitching and growing more and more erratic with every passing moment, panic setting in. “Don’t leave me,” he breathed, terrified as he clung to this vampire, the man he had fallen in love with. “Please, I - I’m sorry.” 

Strong arms came around Seonghwa’s middle, holding him close and rubbing his back, and Seonghwa dissolved into the touch. “You need to breathe, darling,” Hongjoong murmured, his lips close to Seonghwa’s ear. “Please, I want to talk to you about this, but I do not mean to upset you. I am not leaving you. I love you, that will not change, okay?” 

Even now, even when Seonghwa had messed up and potentially fucked over their entire plan to get him on the waitlist, Hongjoong was still so kind, so gentle. Seonghwa truly did not deserve him, a pang of pain squeezing his chest at the thought. 

He allowed Hongjoong to guide him to the couch, and he curled up right there in Hongjoong’s lap, not wanting to be apart from him. “I’m sorry,” he said again, because he couldn’t say anything else. That was the only thought in his mind at the moment, blocking out everything else, his guilt so palpable that it seemed to grow fingers that wrapped around his throat, choking the air right out of him. 

“Shh, just breathe right now. Just relax,” Hongjoong soothed, and Seonghwa tried to comply, following the exaggerated rise and fall of Hongjoong’s chest. He didn’t need to breathe, after all, but he was trying to model an even inhale and exhale for Seonghwa’s sake. 

Once he had calmed down enough to think more coherently, Seonghwa looked up at Hongjoong, blinking back the tears that still blurred his vision. “What happens now?” he whispered, afraid of the answer. 

Hongjoong frowned, his jaw clenched tight. “They are trying to blacklist you from the waitlist. No conclusion was reached today, mostly because of my opposition, but… you must understand that I cannot continue to oppose it now that you have admitted to the truth. I will still try my hardest to wipe this away, but there is only so much I can do. I hold more power over the vampire council members; the humans are much harder to convince.” 

Dread pooled like hot metal in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach, scalding him from the inside out, heavy and endless. “So if… if you can’t convince them, then…” He didn’t want to finish the sentence, because he didn’t want this to be real, but the implications hung over them both with the darkness of a storm cloud, charged with electricity, lightning moments away from striking. 

“Then they will not allow your name on the list,” Hongjoong said, closing his eyes as he spoke the words, gritting his teeth. “In that case, you will never be permitted to legally join this coven. Once you are denied, you cannot re-apply.” 

Despite all of his suspicions, that final confirmation broke Seonghwa’s remaining resolve, the words reaching into his chest and crushing his heart at once. He pressed a shaky hand to his mouth, and he squeezed his eyes shut, resisting the urge to tear at his own skin. 

“It’s not fair,” he breathed, and he hated how his voice wavered, for he had no strength left. “I was only driven to do that because I was born into this world as someone with no chance at a good life. I never had a chance. People always l-looked at me like I did this to myself, like I had nothing because I had somehow failed at being a human being, but I started life at a disadvantage, and that just - it shouldn’t be. It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair.” 

Hongjoong made a soft, sympathetic sound, running a hand through Seonghwa’s hair, but he couldn’t stand the injustice of it all, his anger building the more he thought about it. “Their system failed to protect me when I was a baby. I’m terrified of blood because I remember what it felt like to be covered in it, all those years ago. I was starving, living in my car, desperate for something to bring me back to life. In all of that, tampering with my records is far from the biggest crime. Allowing anyone’s life to take the path mine did is a worse offense, and yet no one ever seems to give a fuck about that. Because people like me don’t matter to people like them.” 

The tears continued to flow now, but they were hot, angry tears, salty and spiteful. “I’m so sick of being treated like dirt, all because of circumstances that have always been out of my control. It’s not fair, and I know life isn’t fair, but how can so much hurt be forced upon one person to bear? When does it all finally become enough? I don’t want to live like this anymore, I don’t.” 

“I know, darling. I know,” Hongjoong murmured, holding Seonghwa close, but even that didn’t lessen the pain. Because this coven house and the vampires within it were the best thing Seonghwa had ever known, and now he stood to lose everything. 

Despite his fears of blood, of living forever, of being left behind, he had still wanted to become a vampire if it meant staying with them for eternity. But now if the future he had dared to hope for was ruined all because of something he had done to ensure his own survival… he didn’t know what he would do. 

He couldn’t bear to resign himself to his mortal lifespan all over again, not when he had just started to hope for an immortal one. Finally, he had actually started to believe that he would be able to prolong his happiness, that one day the suffering he had endured during his days as a human would stand as nothing but a distant memory.

As Hongjoong pressed a cold kiss to Seonghwa’s heated temple, he winced at the pain in his heart, his chest so tight that the ache was all consuming, spreading through his entire body. He just wanted to be happy, but the world seemed dead set on making that impossible. 

“What did I do to deserve any of this?” he whimpered, the fight draining out of him now as he cried into Hongjoong’s shoulder, clutching at the vampire’s shirt with trembling fists. “I just don’t understand. Why can’t I just be happy?” 

Hongjoong held him tighter, murmuring words of comfort, but Seonghwa was numb to it all. 

His worst fears were coming to fruition, and there was not a single thing he could do about it other than watch his world crumble around him, crushing his hope to dust, stealing away the love that he had just begun to let himself accept. 

~

Spring progressed into summer, and any lingering hope was snuffed out in the same manner as the candles that bordered the living room walls of the coven house. Despite all of Hongjoong’s efforts, he held no real power over the human officials on the joint council, and Seonghwa was blacklisted from the turning waitlist on the 25th of July. 

After that date, Seonghwa spent his days and nights in the coven house much like a zombie, pushed right back into that state of going through the motions, every emotion a dull imitation of the ones he had felt before. He didn’t necessarily want to pull away from the others, but he had to protect his heart, and without a place on that list he had no chance of actually joining the coven. 

Part of him believed that this would all be easier if he went back to his life as a human, if he left it all behind, because to lose these vampires after almost a year would hurt less than losing them after decades, losing their affections gradually as he aged and they didn’t. Everything brought him back to that same fear, and now he had no hope for placating it. 

At the back of his mind, the contract reevaluation always lingered, for that time was approaching now. He had first come to this house at the beginning of September, and now the following August was halfway gone already. Time was slipping right through his fingers, and he could not maintain his hold on the Earth as it turned, no matter how he wished for time to freeze and allow him to stay this way forever. 

Just like everything else, time had never been on his side. 

Presently, he was resting on one of the living room couches, his feet propped up on the small coffee table before the fireplace, although there had been no need for a fire with the onset of summer. The days were long and hot, and the nights were cut short, another blow to Seonghwa’s already aching heart. 

Wooyoung was curled up against his chest, lying fully on top of Seonghwa, head hidden in the crook of his neck as he snored the afternoon hours away. He had woken up during the day, joining Seonghwa downstairs now that they were allowed to be alone together again, but the exhaustion had caught up with him eventually. 

He reminded Seonghwa of a cat, making himself small in order to fit on Seonghwa’s lap, clinging to his warmth even in sleep. Seonghwa never denied him this kind of touch either, for he knew how much it meant to the boy, and he wanted to hold onto these moments for as long as he would be able to keep them. 

Jongho had just recently joined them as well, lying down along the length of one of the other couches, his arms stretched behind his head and his legs resting on the arm of the couch. He was awake, though, and after a lengthy but comfortable silence, he directed his focus to Seonghwa. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, eyes gentle but inquisitive. Of all of the vampires in this coven, Jongho had a special air of comfort that surrounded him, and he drew the honesty right out of Seonghwa without even trying. 

“I don’t know,” he admitted, because he felt so out of touch with his own emotions lately that he wasn’t quite sure how he felt. “I just… have something on my mind. And it’s been bothering me a lot, but there isn’t exactly anything I can do about it either, other than just try to protect myself from more hurt.” 

After Hongjoong had delivered the news to Seonghwa that he had no chance of getting on the waitlist, Seonghwa had begged him not to tell any of the others. They had all known that he was applying to be turned, so the reason for his current mood wasn’t exactly difficult to figure out, but Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to tell them outright. 

From the way Jongho was looking at him, however, he knew that his attempts to keep that information secret hadn’t worked on him. Wooyoung, on the other hand, didn’t have the slightest clue, and Seonghwa wasn’t sure which outcome was worse. Still, he tried to muster a smile for Jongho’s sake anyway, his heart aching. 

“Can I tell you something? About my time as a human?” Jongho asked, and Seonghwa appreciated his tact, for he wouldn’t have been able to bear having his secrets exposed outright. Jongho knew the truth, that much was obvious, but this kind of roundabout discussion would be easier to handle, likely for both of them. 

After all, Jongho’s eyes were sad as well, round and shining. “Yeah, sure,” Seonghwa said, pressing his lips together. 

“I’m not as old as the others. Yeosang and I were turned around the same time, you already know that. We didn’t know each other as humans, though, not at first. You see, this happened about fifty years ago, when the public transport system here in Seoul had just been improved to be more widespread and accessible.”

Seonghwa had never learned anything about the history of public transport in the city, but he listened attentively anyway, for Jongho wouldn’t be saying all of this if it had no relevance. “Yeosang and I lived near each other, although we had never spoken or anything. The earliest memories I have of him are just from the two of us waiting at the bus stop with a few other people, dressed and ready for school.

“One day, we were both with our families on that bus, going to different places. I don’t know where they were going, but my family and I were going to dinner for my little brother’s birthday. I was nine at that time, and Yeosang was ten. I won’t explain this all in detail, mostly for my own sake, but the bus crashed. Something about the driver having a stroke behind the wheel - I never wanted to know all of the details. But what I do know is that my entire family died in that accident.” 

Seonghwa gasped, placing a hand gently on the back of Wooyoung’s head, in hopes that he would remain asleep. “That’s awful,” he breathed, horrified. “I’m so sorry.” 

With a bitter smile, Jongho shrugged. “What’s done is done,” he said, but his voice was a bit shaky now. “I survived, and so did Yeosang. We were the only ones who lived, out of that entire bus. And not only humans died - vampires, too. Sunwalkers. The bus went up in flames, and a few vampires burned to death.” 

“How did you survive that?” Seonghwa asked, stomach churning. “How did the fire not…”

“Not kill us?” Jongho finished, and Seonghwa nodded, his throat constricting at the mere thought. “It almost did. Yeosang was a really small kid, he was able to squeeze his way out with some minor burns, but nothing that left disfiguring scars. But for me… there’s a reason why I always wear long sleeves and pants. I’m covered in burns, just not where you can see.” 

He pulled at the bottom hem of his shirt, raising it just enough to show the swathe of burn scars that covered his abdomen, and Seonghwa had to swallow down a surge of bile. “We both survived, but we had no home left, no family. The two of us were all over the newspapers at the time, and we were stuck in an orphanage for a while. That’s when we first became family - we only had each other.” 

“You mean… you lived in an orphanage too?” Seonghwa whispered, eyes wide.

Jongho smiled softly, shaking his head. “Not really - not for long. We were there for about a month, before we were adopted. No one wanted us, you see, but the bus accident led to a ton of legal trouble, and that involved the joint council since both humans and vampires had passed away in the accident. So Hongjoong was involved in that case, and when he heard that the only two survivors had been thrown in an orphanage, he wouldn’t let that happen. He fought to get us out of there, even though he knew essentially nothing about the human adoption system. He tried to find a home for us. But when no one wanted us still…I didn’t want to be separated from Yeosang. So I-”

Surprised by the turn the story had taken, Seonghwa struggled to articulate the questions tangled between his temples. “What?” He interrupted, his voice hushed. “But then… why has he not helped every unwanted child he comes across as a council member? What made this case different?”

“He does help other children,” Jongho answered, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. “Many of the children involved in the cases that the joint council handles are already dead, though. If not, there are often other family members who step in. When vampires and human children mix, you see… the children do not often survive. In our case, we had no family left to help us, and my scars were too frightening for any other human to want to adopt me.”

If anyone knew the truth of that, it was Seonghwa, and he absentmindedly touched the scars on his neck. “Not me,” he breathed, ducking his head. “I didn’t die, and still no one saved me.” His throat burned, and he bit down on his bottom lip. ”No one wanted me for my scars, either.”

“I know,” Jongho murmured, and now he looked sad again. “And that does puzzle me, to tell the truth. If the council handled your case… Hongjoong should have helped you. He should have remembered you, at least. We were a special case, though. I don’t believe he would have adopted us if I hadn’t asked him outright, in front of the council. I asked him to make us vampires, so that we could stay together, and I don’t know… he liked the boldness of the request, I think.”

“Wait, so he - he adopted you?” Seonghwa asked, blinking in confusion. “He’s never mentioned that, though. He didn’t tell me that.” 

“He says it’s our story to tell, that’s why. It’s not because he doesn’t trust you. But I trust you, which is why I’m telling you this. Hongjoong wanted us when no one else did, and he let us grow up in this house, until we reached our current eternal ages, which is when we both were turned. But we were on that waitlist for a while, first. That’s not my point, though - my point is that when no one wanted us, Hongjoong did. When no one advocated for us, Hongjoong did. And he’ll do the same for you, if you let him. So don’t… don’t make any rash decisions, okay? Don’t lose hope.”

By the time he finished, Jongho’s eyes were misty, but his expression was still full of warmth. Seonghwa could only stare at him for a moment, moved by the story. “He tried already, though,” Seonghwa admitted, for Jongho had clearly already figured that out. “He tried to get me on the waitlist, but I’ve been blacklisted now. There’s no chance for me.” 

“He loves you.” Jongho’s stare was piercing, his expression knowing. “And he has for a long time. We’ve all been able to see that from the start. Don’t underestimate his power, and especially not with the feelings he holds for you. Do you really think he’ll just… let you die one day, all because a group of humans said so?” 

“I don’t know. He seems pretty hopeless. I don’t see what else he could do,” Seonghwa argued, although his tone was soft, resigned. To entertain hope would be to allow the chance for additional hurt, and Seonghwa wasn’t ready to put himself in that position. “I don’t think it can happen, but I appreciate you saying all of that to me. Maybe… maybe he’ll still care for me, even as I age. Even if it’s not the same kind of love. Maybe I could be okay with that.” 

Jongho sighed, allowing the silence to linger for a moment. “I know that life hasn’t been kind to you, and optimism is something that needs to be learned. I understand that. If nothing has gone right for you before, then you have no reason to believe that any of this could go your way. But I’ll hold onto enough hope for both of us, then.” 

His words brought tears to Seonghwa’s eyes, and he wiped at them with his sleeve, taking care not to disturb the sleeping vampire in his arms. “Thank you,” he murmured, although those two words would never hold the weight of his gratitude for Jongho and all the rest. “Right now things are just… hard. I don’t know how to handle it.” 

“And that’s okay. But please, just remember that we all care about you, and we aren’t going to abandon you, or ask you to leave, or whatever it is that you’re afraid of. So please… choose to stay with us.” 

Seonghwa shifted his gaze to look at Wooyoung, brushing a piece of hair out of his face, biting his lip hard enough to hurt. He didn’t say anything in response to that, and the comfortable silence settled over the living room again, the entire house silent with the rest of the coven still asleep. Seonghwa’s stomach rumbled idly, but he wouldn’t satisfy his hunger until Wooyoung was awake again. 

The remaining time before the incoming contract renewal was imminent, and his mind was swirling with thoughts that didn’t want to face. If he chose to be honest with himself, he was afraid. The uncertainty of his future was terrifying, because his heart was in a position to be broken, and he couldn’t see a future in which that didn’t happen. 

He stood at a crossroads, now - would he allow his heart to be broken with time, or would he do it himself before that could happen? If he chose to leave this place, he could at least brace himself for the hurt. But if he didn’t leave… the hurt would chip away at him, year after year, and he couldn’t bear to deal with that. 

With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes, wrapping his arms around Wooyoung’s sleeping form. He had never been one to believe in the divine, but if miracles could truly occur, now was the time to pray for one. 

~

On the eve of the contract renewal date, Seonghwa woke up with his head pillowed beneath Hongjoong’s arm, his entire body cradled by the vampire’s familiar form. He bit down hard on his lip as his heart squeezed in response to the contact, torn between lingering in this pair of arms and pulling away. 

For the last few months, Seonghwa had felt the press of tears behind his eyes constantly, his throat always burning with the emotion that he withheld. But now, as the time finally dwindled down to nothing, he couldn’t hold it all in anymore. Hot tears rose to his eyes, no matter how he tried to keep them at bay.

“You are awake,” Hongjoong murmured, holding Seonghwa’s chin in a gentle hand, tipping his head up for their eyes to meet. “Are you-” His casual tone of voice came to an abrupt halt as he noticed Seonghwa’s expression, the unshed tears, the shaking of his lips. “Oh, darling. Why are you crying?” 

His tone was unbearably soft, and Seonghwa’s chest tightened further, his teeth sinking harder into his lip. Blood welled as the skin split, a trail of it rolling right down to his chin. Hongjoong’s expression immediately shifted from concerned to alarmed, and he held Seonghwa’s face between two hands now, gently easing his lip out from between his teeth. “Do not do that. Do not hurt yourself, please. Talk to me instead.” He sounded… afraid, almost, another blow to Seonghwa’s heart. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, chin shaking as he looked down at the blankets, the tears dripping down to saturate the fabric, spreading through the tiny individual stitches. For a moment, he was mesmerized by the sight, until a drop of his blood fell from the edge of his jaw and ruined the image, staining the comforter. “I’m sorry.” 

“You need to talk to me,” Hongjoong said again, desperate now as he held Seonghwa’s face in his hands, sensing that his mind was somewhere far away. “Please, Seonghwa.” 

Hongjoong’s treatment of Seonghwa had never changed, even when everything else had gone wrong. Even with no spot on the waitlist, Hongjoong still pressed kisses to Seonghwa’s bare skin, murmuring words of devotion that would be better suited to a deity, a place of worship. He never left Seonghwa with any questions regarding his feelings, his intentions, and yet it still wasn’t enough. 

The nature of their relationship was forbidden, it was as simple as that. A sapling that had taken root between pieces of sidewalk in the city, doomed to never grow to its full potential due to limited space, limited sunlight, limited life. A kitten born as the runt of the litter, with no chance at life from the very first breath. Seonghwa had cradled such abandoned animals in the streets of the city, holding them while they died, in hopes that the next life might treat them kinder than this one. 

Sucking in a shaky breath, he looked back up at Hongjoong. “The contract is up tomorrow,” he breathed, afraid to say the words any louder. “And you… you remember what I said to you on the roof that night, about how scared I was to be left behind. I thought being on the waitlist would fix that, but that isn’t a possibility anymore. And Hongjoong, I just… I don’t know how much more I can bear. I don’t know if this is worth the pain of losing it.” 

“Darling, it has only been a few months since that time, I am still trying to appeal. Do not lose hope.” Hongjoong’s words were insistent, his brows drawn together in concentration. 

Seonghwa sighed, wincing at the pain in his throat, the force of the emotions he tried to keep in check. “A few months is a lot less time to you than it is to me,” he said softly, reaching up to wrap his hand around Hongjoong’s wrist. “A few years is nothing to you. A whole decade is nothing to you. One day, my entire lifetime will be nothing to you. I don’t want to wait around and be turned once I’m, what, fifty years old? Sixty? I want to stay the same as the rest of you, forever. That’s all I want, but I can’t have it that way.” 

“So then what? Do you - do you want to leave? Is that what you are trying to say?” Even then, Hongjoong’s tone wasn’t accusatory; he just sounded upset, the cracks in his words spreading over the surface of Seonghwa’s heart, webbing outwards from the center. Seonghwa almost would have preferred for him to yell, because then leaving wouldn’t be so hard. 

He stared at Hongjoong for a long moment, the admission caught in his throat until he finally forced himself to say it. “Yes,” he whispered, eyes filling with tears all over again, the pain in his chest unbearable. “I have to. Please, understand me. I have to.” 

“That is not true. You do not have to do anything.” Tears had welled along the line of Hongjoong’s lashes as well, disbelief smoothing out his expression, making him look younger. “You cannot leave. Please, Seonghwa… please. I need you here. We all need you. What about Wooyoung?” 

Seonghwa flinched at the sound of his name, and Hongjoong’s grip on his face became more insistent, as if that was the only way he could get through to him. “You cannot go. I will not let you. There are so many reasons why this is not a good idea. Please, Seonghwa, I know you are hurt, but leaving will be a mistake.” 

“You can’t stop me,” Seonghwa said softly, for he had never held any fight inside of him, especially not about this. His voice cracked, and the tears trailed down his cheeks, and he found himself wishing yet again that life would go his way, just this once. But wishes amounted to nothing; he had learned that long ago, back when he had curled up in his bed at the orphanage and wished for a family. Back when he had wished for just a scrap of food, a band-aid to cover the scrapes on his knees. 

None of those wishes had ever come true, and hoping for a miracle only made the inevitable hurt worse. 

The first tear spilled over the ledge of Hongjoong’s lower eyelid, tracing a path down his cheek. “The contract?” His voice was shaky, his lips trembling. “You are not going to sign it this time, are you?” 

Seonghwa had never seen him like this before, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he spoke, because he couldn’t bear to get the words out with Hongjoong looking at him like that. “I have to break the contract, because I can’t bear the pain that I’ll face if I don’t. Please, see this from my perspective - for my entire life, I’ve been alone. I have never had anyone to lean on except myself. I was so used to that, until I met you. But now, I lean on you. Whenever I bleed, I bleed into you. I’ve felt my armor softening over time, my ability to handle things on my own diminishing, and that terrifies me. Because if I can’t protect myself, then this world will tear me limb from limb.”

“But I will protect you,” Hongjoong whispered, cheeks shining now. “There is no need for you to do it all on your own.” 

“That is the case right now. But what about later, when my mortal lifespan ages me? I can’t bear to watch you fall out of love with me as I grow old and grey while you stay exactly the same. You won’t want me when I’m fifty, when I’m seventy, when I’m ninety. At least, not in the same way. And I’m so fucking tired of conditional love. I just want to be loved like this forever, but it can’t be. But if I linger here anyway, the hurt will strike me worse later on, because I will have forgotten how to protect myself. If I leave now… it’ll hurt, but the shattered pieces of my heart will be large enough for me to hold, to put back together myself. All I know how to do is prioritize my own survival - I’ve done it my whole life. And if I stay here, the misery I feel later will kill me. I know it will.” 

Moving his hands from Seonghwa’s face, Hongjoong braced them against his shoulders instead, almost like he was restraining the urge to shake Seonghwa back to his senses. “Is the love not worth the hurt? Are the good times not worth the bad? I would do anything for you, Seonghwa. I would die for you. I would kill for you. I would turn you right now if I did not already know that we would both be killed for it. I would become a human for you, if I could. I would throw away eternity for just a moment with you. I would do it in a heartbeat.” 

Seonghwa shook his head, a broken sob spilling free from his lips now, the ache in his chest spreading through his nerves, all of his muscles bracing for impact. “But you can’t,” he said through his cries, not even bothering to wipe his eyes, Hongjoong’s features warping through his tears. “This is forbidden for a reason - it shouldn’t be.” 

“You don’t mean that,” Hongjoong murmured, stricken. He pressed his lips together for a moment, and Seonghwa knew he was trying not to lose to his emotions as well. His tears still fell, but they were silent, his throat moving as he swallowed down any sound. “You don’t mean it.” 

“I do. I - I have to. Because even now, all I can think about all the time is what the future will inevitably hold. It haunts me, even though it hasn’t happened yet. I can’t bear to see it happen. I can’t.” 

“So - so then what? You will go back to living on the streets of the city? Every vampire in Seoul knows who you are, or did you forget about that? They all wanted you, they all bidded their money on you. Once you are no longer protected by the borders of my territory, they will find you.” Hongjoong sounded desperate now, plucking at straws in hopes that something would get through to Seonghwa and make him change his mind. 

But he had considered all of this already. The thought of all of the other vampires in the city had occurred to him a while ago, and he swallowed thickly now as he clenched his jaw. “I won’t have to live on the streets anymore. I’ve saved all of the money from the past year, the checks I’ve received from being a feeder. I have enough to find a place to live, to get a job and feed myself. And even if vampires still find me -what can they truly do? They’ll be killed if they hurt me without cause, won’t they? When my feeder application was up for grabs, they held more power. They could have bound me into a contract then, but now they can’t. What can they really do to me without implicating themselves in the process?” 

“No, Seonghwa, you don’t - you don’t understand. Maybe you’re right, but is it so wrong that I want to keep you here with me? It’s dangerous out there, and I cannot protect you if you are not close to me. I fucking love you, Seonghwa, okay? I love you, and I do not want you to leave. That is the truth.” Hongjoong wasn’t breathing at all now, so caught up in all of this that his body had forgotten about its reflexes entirely, his voice waterlogged and wavering. 

One beat of silence followed his words, and then another, and when Hongjoong spoke again he finally started to cry in earnest, the sounds spilling from his lips. “You have never once said it back to me,” he murmured, his irises resembling the stained glass windows of the house. “Is this why?”

“It’s not that I don’t feel the same way,” Seonghwa whispered, his hands shaking as he reached for Hongjoong’s wrists, pulling them away from his shoulders to lace their fingers together. “But the impending hurt has always shadowed those feelings. If I didn’t love you, then - then maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to stay. But I can’t bear to watch your love for me change over time. It’s not worth it.” 

“It is worth it!” Hongjoong was getting desperate now, Seonghwa could see it in his face, the tears an endless stream as they dripped from his chin to soak the collar of his shirt. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that you are not happy here, that you do not want to stay. Please, Seonghwa.” 

But Seonghwa could only shake his head, his body trembling with the force of the sobs he withheld. “That’s why I have to leave. It hurts like this now, after one year. Imagine how much it would hurt when my mortal lifespan ends, and you continue on living. Imagine how much it would hurt to watch me age, to slowly lose your interest in my face, my body, your - your love for me. Because that would happen. You can’t tell me it wouldn’t.” 

“I love your soul, Seonghwa. I love your heart. You are beautiful because of those parts of you - you are beautiful because of the person you are beneath your skin.” 

“It won’t be enough, though,” Seonghwa sighed, letting go of Hongjoong’s hands and pressing his palms against his own cheeks, his skin burning hot to the touch. “I know it won’t.” 

He shifted then, standing from the bed, and Hongjoong’s hand caught his wrist. “Please, Seonghwa. Please do not go,” he pleaded, but even then his grip was gentle. Seonghwa looked back at him to find his composure entirely shattered, the sobs pouring from his lips now as he scrambled off of the bed as well, still holding Seonghwa’s wrist. “Think about this, please. Please.” 

Seonghwa shook his head, shaking violently as he took a step back, pulling his arm out of Hongjoong’s grip. He watched the vampire’s expression shatter further as he stood there, staring at Seonghwa in disbelief, lips parted just enough for his fangs to show. 

The worst part of all of this was that Seonghwa did love him. He loved Hongjoong so much that it hurt, his chest unbearably tight as he looked at the face of the only person who had ever seen him for more than his circumstances, who had given him a home, had loved him all along. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, pressing his hands to his mouth as he sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Seonghwa, please. Please,” Hongjoong said again, the words tumbling from his mouth continually as he stayed rooted in place, wearing his heartbreak on his sleeve. “I need you. I am dependent on you, just as much as you need me. If you leave, nothing will be the same. The - the forest will never be quite as beautiful as it was when you were here. The night sky will not hold any meaning, not when the brightest star I have ever known is standing in front of me now.”

He stepped closer, jaw trembling as he cried, completely losing his composure now. Seonghwa had never seen him like this, and he would never forget it for as long as he lived. “I know you say that I will live forever, that your lifetime is nothing in comparison to mine, but that makes my love for you all the more important. I have never loved anyone like I love you, not in all of my years of life. And I will never love anyone like this again. I do not believe there is a god, but I will spend all of my days praying for you to come back if you leave. Do you - do you want me to beg? I will get on my knees and ask you to stay, if it will make any difference.” 

Shaking his head, Seonghwa had to look away then, turning towards the door. “It won’t,” he whispered, but the words seemed to fill the room anyway. “I’ve already made up my mind. You say you will spend every day praying for me to come back - you would do the same regardless, once my mortal lifetime ends. I am sparing you the pain of watching me wilt.”

“No,” Hongjoong breathed, and even as Seonghwa turned the knob and opened the door, he followed close behind. “Life has never been kind to you, I know that. And you do not believe that this can end in anything other than ruin. I understand why - I do not blame you for trying to protect yourself. But I will not just let you go. I will not force you to stay, but - but I will keep watch on you while you are gone. I still refuse to let anything happen to you. My love for you will not just go away, because you no longer sleep in my arms.” 

Seonghwa stepped into the hallway, his cries shaking through his entire frame as he walked to his room instead, clutching the doorknob in his trembling fingers. “Please,” Seonghwa breathed, breath hitching in uneven gasps, sobs spilling from his lips. “Please, just let me go. I’m leaving either way - don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” 

“How could it not be hard?” Hongjoong pressed, and although Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to turn around, he could still picture the exact expression on Hongjoong’s face as he spoke the words. “How can you ask me to just let you go? Everything about this feels wrong - I know you feel it too. I know you do.” 

“But it doesn’t matter.” Seonghwa inhaled a shuddering breath, struggling to speak through the agony compressing his heart. “Because I want to live forever with you, but I can’t. I want to be a part of your coven, but I never will be. I want - I want you to be my sire. Even if it’s hard, I want you to be there for me through all of that. I want to be able to love you without it being illegal. I want so many things, and I can’t have any of them. So maybe it’s better if I have nothing at all, just like I always did before.” 

He turned the knob, pushing the door open and staring into his shadowed room, the lights turned off. “It’s not because I don’t want you. It’s not because I don’t want to stay here. The truth is that I want all of that too much, to the point where it hurts. I can’t look at you without thinking about inevitably losing you one day. And it just hurts too much. It just hurts.” 

Pressing a hand to his lips, Seonghwa’s entire frame shook with the force of his sobs, suffocated by his own despair. It hurt to be honest like this, to say all of those things aloud after thinking them for so long, but he couldn’t hold it in any longer. “So I’m sorry,” he murmured, his voice so shaky that his words were barely understandable. “I’m sorry that I broke the law, that I ruined everything. We could have had all of those things, if it weren’t for that one mistake. And I know this hurts you too. I know I’m being selfish, and I’m sorry. But being selfish is all I know how to do.” 

Stepping into his room now, Seonghwa turned around to close it, pausing momentarily as he stared at Hongjoong still standing out in the hallway. He looked utterly shattered, more upset than Seonghwa had ever seen him, his face slick with tears and an emptiness behind his eyes that had never been there before. 

“Can I just say one thing, before you close the door?” he whispered, and Seonghwa nodded, his heart shattering further with every hitching breath. “You are not selfish. Trying to protect yourself is not selfish; especially when given the circumstances of your past. I hate seeing you like this, darling. I hate it, and if your life here has driven you to feel this way, then I will not resent you for your choice. But I will not stop protecting you, either.” 

Sniffling, Seonghwa rubbed at his nose with his sleeve, eyes so swollen that his field of view was smaller than normal. “It’s hard for me to believe that,” he replied, voice small. “But… thank you.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment after that, the silence deafening as it stood between them, vast as a gaping chasm. With his hand braced on the door, Seonghwa finally pushed it closed, and only once Hongjoong was out of his view entirely did he crumble to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest and sobbing fragments of his heart right out into his hands. 

Still facing the door, he watched the shadows shift in the small gap beneath it, and he knew that Hongjoong was sitting right outside, refusing to leave. Seonghwa couldn’t hold back his cries, even though he knew Hongjoong could hear. Everything was crumbling, and it was his own fault, and he couldn’t bear to live in his own skin anymore. He scratched at his arms as he dissolved into tears, leaving a puddle of saltwater right there on the wooden floor. 

He had tried so hard, and that was the part that hurt the most. All he had wanted was to fit in with this family of vampires that had taken him in, to have a home at last. And he had achieved all of that, but now he was powerless as everything slipped through the gaps between his fingers with the same fluidity as his tears. 

Despite his best attempts to find his place in the world, he had still made a mess of everything. He felt just as lost now as he had before all of this, despite the comfortable sum of money in his bank account, and all of the belongings he had accumulated over time. None of that mattered, not really. 

After trying so hard, here he was, crying into his hands on the floor of the room that held all of his greatest hopes and deepest fears within its four walls. Leaving would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do, but he couldn’t continue to live a lie here, either. He couldn’t pretend to be a part of this family, when he was the only human amongst them, the only one who was going to age and die one day. 

He couldn’t continue to love a vampire, when everything about their relationship was forbidden. 

Shaking so hard that he could barely stand, Seonghwa still forced himself to rise to his feet, digging out his old suitcase from the very first day and starting to fill it with the things he would need most. He couldn’t take everything, but that was okay - he had always survived on far less. Hardly able to see anything through his tears, he began to throw things into the suitcase, sobbing all the while. 

When he came across the sweater he had worn on the day he had moved in, the one that Yeosang had complimented while they all sat around the fireplace, his knees gave out and he fell onto the bed. Clutching the knit material in his hands, he held it to his face, tears soaking the garment. The physical pain in his chest was unbearable, and for once he wondered if humans could actually die from a broken heart. 

Once the sobs slowed down again, Seonghwa returned to packing his things, going through the motions while his mind was entirely elsewhere. His hands hadn’t stopped shaking in all this time, and his entire face was swollen, hot to the touch. 

In truth, he wanted to stay. In truth, he wanted to hope that something would change, that somehow he would be able to have a place on that waitlist even though Hongjoong had already tried his hardest to no avail. He wanted to believe that the world would be on his side, just this once, that all of the worst parts of his upbringing would one day fade into nothing but obscure memory, after centuries of prolonged life with the people he loved. 

With a weary sigh, he abandoned his suitcase once it was filled, his feet dragging across the floor as he headed for the door and slid down it, sitting down right there on the floor. Hongjoong was still on the other side, he could tell from the shadow coming through the gap under the door, and after a few minutes of silence, Seonghwa spoke to him. 

“You there?” he asked, voice small and waterlogged. He sniffled, but he couldn’t clear his airway, his breath rattling with every breath. 

Without missing a beat, the response came through the door. “Always.” Seonghwa blinked, and tears dripped from his eyes, although he had no energy left to cry. 

Sucking in a deep breath, Seonghwa leaned back against the door, shoulders slumping. “This doesn’t have to be forever,” he whispered, fiddling with the hem of his shirt to occupy his trembling fingers. “I just need to leave, at least for a little while. Because right now, all I can think about when I’m with you is the inevitable day that all of this will change. But if I leave… maybe when I’m alone again, I’ll realize that I’m wrong. I hope that happens, at least.” 

“You do not know the weight of what you hold in your hands now until it is gone,” Hongjoong said, and the words pierced Seonghwa’s heart. He raised a hand to his aching chest, nodding even though Hongjoong couldn’t see him. 

“Yeah,” Seonghwa breathed, resting his chin on his knees. “Exactly. I want to realize that I’m wrong, so that I can come back with this weight finally gone. But if I stay, I’ll never be able to get rid of it. And I know that’s probably not the best way to handle it, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry to hurt all of you, to put you through this. But it’s the only way I know how to deal with it. I’ve been alone all my life - as much as I value being around all of you, I’m just - I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know how to manage any of the things I’m feeling. But now I have money, and I won’t have to live in my car. I’ll be able to live a more normal life, so if I decide that - that I still want to come back here, it will only be because I realized in your absence how much I need you.” 

Hongjoong didn’t reply right away, silence settling between them for a short while. “I hope you will come back,” he murmured, and Seonghwa clung to his accented words, trying to commit the sound to memory. “But even while you are gone, I will keep eyes on you. If not my own, then the eyes of the others. One of us will always be watching, to make sure that no one can hurt you. I will not let anything happen to you, even if you decide you never want to come back.” 

Swallowing hard, Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his arms tight around his knees. “Okay,” he said, his voice audibly strained as he tried not to break down all over again. “Okay.” 

They stayed like that for the rest of the night as it turned to day, sitting back to back with only the door between them. Seonghwa watched the light appear through his window, and he noted a certain familiar shape hanging from the lintel, visible through the paned glass. 

Onyx always spent the night in front of Seonghwa’s window, and he would have opened it to let her in if that were possible, but the only window in the house that opened was the one that led to the fire escape. His heart warmed at the sight of her, but that wasn’t enough to mend all of the breaks through it, the persistent ache behind his ribs. 

Even as exhaustion weighed on his eyelids, Seonghwa couldn’t bring himself to sleep, sitting by the door as morning passed into afternoon, the sun sinking in the sky now, marking the imminence of the contract reevaluation. He stayed there on the floor for as long as he could, before he finally sucked in a breath and forced himself back to his feet, his joints cracking and stiff muscles protesting the movement. 

From the other side of the door, Hongjoong must have heard him move, for his voice came through the wood a moment later. “She will be here soon,” he said, and dread weighed heavy on Seonghwa’s conscience as he mumbled a reply and closed his suitcase, scanning the room to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything important. 

So many memories were held within these four walls, so many tokens of the love he had found here. To leave any of it behind was painful, but to bring it all with him would hurt even worse. He only brought the most important things, leaving everything else for the others to decide what they wanted to do with it all. 

He had a feeling that they would leave his room exactly as he had left it, in case he decided to come back. 

The thought made his eyes water all over again, and he pulled up the handle of his suitcase, heading for the door. When he pulled it open, Hongjoong was standing on the other side, his hands hidden in his pockets. He raised his head, and Seonghwa took note of his swollen eyes, the hollowness held inside of them, betraying the emotions hidden inside. But even then, he lifted his lips into a broken smile, eyes shining with tears. 

“Time for you to go?” he asked softly, and Seonghwa nodded, not trusting himself to speak without crying. He gripped the handle of his suitcase with all his strength, his knuckles turning white from the pressure, his skin strained over the bone underneath. 

Hongjoong reached out to take the suitcase from him, and Seonghwa had no fight left within him, so he let it go. With his hands free now, he began to wring them together, clearing his throat. “I want to say goodbye to everyone else,” he murmured, looking down at the floor. “Before she comes.” 

The two of them headed down to the first floor, Seonghwa’s heart in his throat the entire time. He couldn’t bear to even think about what he would say to all of them, how he would explain himself, not when he had grown so close to each vampire in different ways. As they descended the last few steps, they all came into his line of sight, and his eyes started to burn immediately as he noticed that everyone was already gathered there. 

He watched as they all took in the sight of the suitcase, before redirecting their attentions to Seonghwa himself, as he stood there right in front of the staircase. At first, silence swallowed the group of them whole, before Yunho finally stepped forward, removing his glasses as he regarded Seonghwa. 

“You don’t need to explain yourself to us, it’s okay,” he said, sparing a wobbly smile. Seonghwa’s lips parted in surprise, for they all seemed to know that he was leaving already. “We’ve all seen that you aren’t as happy here as before. If leaving is what it takes for you to figure that all out, then… then that’s okay.” 

Seonghwa blinked, momentarily at a loss for words. “But we hope you’ll come back,” Jongho said, his expression knowing, especially after their recent conversation. “There will always be a place for you here. Never forget that.” 

“And we’ll be keeping an eye on you,” Mingi added, his cheeks already shining, evidence that he had been crying even before Seonghwa had come down here. “So… it’s not like you won’t be seeing us.”

“And I will continue to fight to overturn the decision to blacklist you from the waitlist,” Hongjoong said, his voice soft as he stood beside Seonghwa, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I will not rest until they make an exception for you. I do not care what it takes - the legacy of what I did to the rest of my kind is still strong. They still fear that side of me, and it is not gone. Only dormant. For you, I do not mind reawakening my bloodlust.” 

Vision blurred by tears now, Seonghwa raised his arm to wipe at his eyes, the corners of his mouth wobbling. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, pressing a hand over his heart, as if he could somehow ease the ache that way. “I just - I want to live forever with all of you. But right now I can’t, and that just - it hurts too much. It hurts.” 

A blur of movement caught his eye, and then a familiar body was gripping him tight, arms wrapped around his waist. “I love you, Seonghwa,” Wooyoung cried, pressing his face into Seonghwa’s chest, tears immediately soaking the fabric of his shirt. “I’m s-sorry that - that this can’t just be easy for you. It’s not fair. I w-want you to stay with us forever.”

With tears rolling down his cheeks, Seonghwa wrapped his arms around Wooyoung as well, holding him close for what would be the last time, at least for a while. “I know,” he breathed, hating how his voice wavered. “I want that too. That’s all I want, but sometimes these things just… don’t work out. That’s just life.” 

“It’s not fair,” Wooyoung insisted again, looking up at Seonghwa with wide eyes, tears clinging to his lashes. “You - you were the only reason I was able to be okay again, and it’s not fair that now you’re hurt, and there’s nothing that I can do in return. I want to help you, too. I don’t understand why there isn’t anything I can do to fix it, to make you stay.” 

“I know, angel,” Seonghwa sighed, brushing the hair out of Wooyoung’s face. “But sometimes life goes this way. It’s not fair, you’re right. But I’m used to that kind of thing.”

San came up behind Wooyoung, embracing both of them at once, his face streaked with tears as well. “Wooyoung, don’t make him feel bad,” he said gently, pressing a kiss to the boy’s temple. “You know what it feels like, when everything feels out of your hands, when life doesn’t hold any regard for you or the people you love.” 

He looked at Seonghwa as he spoke, expression earnest. “We all know what that feels like, even if it’s been a long time since we were considered human. All of us struggled with our own cruel circumstances before being turned; you are not alone, Seonghwa. There is no right or wrong way to handle the way you feel, not when you’re the one feeling it. If this is what you need to do, then that is okay. For us to force you to stay would negate all of the love we’ve shown you all along. Even if everything in this world goes wrong, if everyone else shows no care towards you… remember that we are on your side, no matter what.” 

And perhaps he was right; perhaps they all did know how he felt. After all, Wooyoung’s mother had died not long before he was turned, and he had completely lost touch with the life he had been so comfortable living before then. Jongho and Yeosang had watched their entire world crumble at such a young age, left with nothing of their own. 

Hongjoong’s entire family had been brutally killed, and he had spent decades getting his revenge. Perhaps that wasn’t the best way to heal in the eyes of the rest of the world, but that didn’t have to matter. 

All his life, Seonghwa had been treated like dirt. He had never learned how to cope with his emotions properly, had never learned how to handle affection and love since he had never received it. So while he was well aware that perhaps there were better ways to cope, he had never learned any of that. He was scared, and he was reverting back to the only way he knew how to keep himself safe, and that was okay. 

That realization struck him like a blade, and his knees buckled, but Wooyoung and San kept him upright. He began to cry all over again, unable to gain a hold of himself, but still they never left. None of them did - they all drew closer, forming a fortress around him to weather the storm that he was facing. 

“I just need a little distance,” he said eventually, breath hitching unevenly as he gasped for air, salt on his tongue. “That’s the only way I know how to - to cope with things. If I can’t live forever with the rest of you, then it’s hard for me to be here. I don’t want to grow old. I don’t want to die with the knowledge that my memory will fade as the centuries pass, that you’ll all forget me one day. I always felt like - like a mortal lifetime was far too long, but now I know it’s the opposite, because the seven of you inspired that change within me. I don’t want to die anymore. I want to live forever, here with the rest of you. And it just feels so cruel that I can’t.” 

“It is cruel,” said Yeosang, his voice soft but firm. “It’s okay to admit that. It is cruel, and you don’t deserve it. You don’t deserve any of the hurt that you’ve been forced to bear since you were born. Just because you’re used to it doesn’t make it okay.” 

Seonghwa stared back at him for a long moment before nodding, although he had always struggled to believe that. Why did other people live normal, happy lives, while he had never had the chance at one? And now that he finally had found people that made him happy, why was he banned from becoming one of them? 

The group of them stayed like that for a while, huddled around each other, one massive embrace that Seonghwa knew he would never forget, no matter how many years passed. He loved these vampires, and that wouldn’t change. 

When the door knocker sounded through the house, he straightened up, and they finally broke apart. But even then, Seonghwa didn’t go for the door right away, instead walking over to the couch and grabbing something that he had left there. He held it out for Wooyoung to take, for he had a feeling that he might need it. “I want you to have it.” 

Wooyoung took the pink crocheted bunny out of Seonghwa’s hands, holding it close to his chest. He was still crying, and San tucked him into his side, keeping him close. As long as they all had each other, they would be okay. Seonghwa was sure of that, and it brought him some relief. 

He took the suitcase from Hongjoong and headed for the door after that, all of the vampires following behind. He opened it to find the same doctor from the initial contract meeting standing on the other side, her hair still pulled back into the same severe bun, glasses perched on the end of her nose. Deja vu flooded through Seonghwa’s system, and he struggled to breathe for a moment as Hongjoong opened the door, allowing her to step inside. 

With her clipboard held to her chest, she took in the sight of all eight of them, her gaze lingering on the scars along Seonghwa’s neck. He fought the urge to cover them, and instead he kept his head high, swallowing hard. 

“It is time to reevaluate the contract between Kim Hongjoong and-” she began to say, but Seonghwa cut her off. 

“I don’t want to re-sign,” he said, blurting the words all at once, bitter against his tongue. “I’m - I’m leaving.” 

She stared at him, blinking once before she redirected her gaze to Hongjoong, for a feeder’s word was worth little more than dirt. “Is this true?” she asked, raising a brow, and Hongjoong nodded. 

“He said the words himself. Is that not enough for you?” he replied, and her lips twisted into a scowl as she looked between the two of them. 

“Very well. Park Seonghwa, you are free of your contract with Kim Hongjoong. You are no longer obligated to provide him with a steady supply of blood, and he is no longer permitted to feed from you. If he continues to harass you for blood, you may visit your local blood bank and file a report, in which case additional safety measures will be instated.” She rattled off these terms in a monotone, and Seonghwa nodded along, although he knew he would never need to worry about that. 

Once she was finished, she made a prompt exit back to the blood bank van, and Seonghwa rested his hand against the doorknob. “Well… this is goodbye, then,” he said, looking at the faces of his friends, gaze lingering on Hongjoong longer than the rest. He couldn’t help it - this was the love of his life, he knew that in his very soul, and yet he would only be a blip in the timeline of Hongjoong’s life. That hurt more than he could ever put into words, and he bit down hard on his lip. 

“We love you,” said Mingi, and his words were echoed by the rest, teary eyes looking back at him. Seonghwa mustered up a shaky smile, and then he opened the door and stepped out onto the porch, the cool September air caressing the heated skin of his face.

Hongjoong followed him outside, still pulling the suitcase along as the two of them headed for Seonghwa’s car. He popped the trunk, and Hongjoong placed the suitcase inside before joining Seonghwa by the driver’s side door, so many unspoken words held in the silence between them. 

Reaching out to grab the handle, Hongjoong opened the door for Seonghwa, his expression pained. “You will always have a constellation to come back to, my star,” he murmured, pressing one last soft kiss to Seonghwa’s lips. He smelled like the rain, and Seonghwa breathed him in one last time before nodding, sliding into the driver’s seat. 

“Thank you,” he breathed, blinking back tears. “For everything.” 

Hongjoong just smiled, closing the door for Seonghwa, standing there even as he started the car and pulled away. Even when Seonghwa looked through his rearview mirror as he entered the road through the forest, Hongjoong’s silhouette was still standing in the same place, watching him go. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #10: A human is only permitted to be turned into a vampire when an existing vampire dies, in order to regulate population numbers. Unlawful turning is forbidden and punishable by death for both the sire and the fledgling, as well as all other involved parties. 

~

Sixteen days later, Seonghwa was walking back to his new apartment after dropping off a job application, cradling a hot coffee in his hands. He had never purchased a drink from a cafe before, but the smell had been so inviting, and he had enough money to actually go inside and order something now. 

Not only did he have the money he had amassed from his time as a feeder, but Hongjoong had also slipped an appalling amount of cash into Seonghwa’s suitcase, completely unbeknownst to him until he had started to unpack his things. He didn’t want to use Hongjoong’s money, considering how many things the vampire had already bought for him over the past year, but he also knew that Hongjoong would never take it back. 

The coffee in his hands was still quite hot, but Seonghwa took a sip anyway, enjoying the taste as it passed over his tongue. He had added heaps of sugar to his drink, along with a large splash of milk, and the woman behind the counter had given him an odd look, but he didn't care. It tasted good, and that alone was a privilege for someone like Seonghwa.

His new apartment wasn’t anything special, but to Seonghwa it was the epitome of luxury, largely because he had the entire studio to himself. He didn’t need to have roommates anymore, not when he had enough money to sustain himself on his own, and although the bed wasn’t as comfortable as the one in the coven house, it was still worlds better than the backseat of his car. 

The apartment and the easy access to food were the most drastic differences between his life prior to becoming a feeder versus his life now, but the other parts were not quite so great, although he tried not to let his mind linger on the negative. People all over the city knew who he was, just like Yunho had mentioned after returning home from work at the clinic that time, but now Seonghwa had no choice but to bear the brunt of the comments that were flung his way everywhere he went. 

People whom he had never seen in his life knew his name, his circumstances, everything. Even though he dressed himself nicely now, and wasn’t as visibly poor as he had been before, he still couldn’t hide from the knowledge that everyone seemed to know. While leaving the coffee shop, he had even spotted his own name on the front page of the newspapers stacked by the front windows, although he had immediately looked away. 

Hearing whispers when he walked past wasn’t anything new; after all, Seonghwa had rarely been on the receiving end of a kind word before becoming a feeder. He was used to such treatment, and he tried not to let it bother him, although he couldn’t deny that some of the comments got under his skin. 

Humans hated feeders; that was not new information. However, most feeders spend their lifetime by the sides of vampires, passed around once they were no longer desired for a contract anymore, until they inevitably died from the poor treatment. Seonghwa was a case unlike any other, and many people seemed to believe that he had cheated the system, becoming a feeder for a short time before returning to society with all of the money he had never possessed before. 

How could a vampire let their feeder go like that? How could a human use that money to pretend like they had a place in society, an insult to all of the people who worked full-time jobs to support themselves? 

In a way, Seonghwa understood their thinking. Stereotypes had poisoned the minds of humans and vampires alike for centuries, and he only understood the truth now that he had lived on both sides of this divided world. But most people did not have that level of insight, nor did they care to uncover it, not when the regulations made that so difficult. 

The best Seonghwa could do was just keep his head down and mind his own business, paying no mind to the voices around him, and luckily he had a lot of practice in that. He took a sip of his coffee as he turned a corner, enjoying the early autumn breeze as it cut through the fabric of his clothes, the sun still providing a subtle warmth overhead. 

“Hey, it’s the demon boy!” cried a voice from behind him, and Seonghwa gritted his teeth as he continued to move forward. He hated that name the most, because it directly countered the name “angel” that he and Wooyoung had used so many times. Hongjoong had also told him that he was an angel once, at the start of it all, and to hear himself so commonly referred to as a demon now struck a nerve despite his best efforts to feign indifference. 

People in this city seemed to think that he had made some kind of deal with the devil in exchange for money; the devil being Hongjoong, in this case. Most often, they either referred to him as a demon due to that connection, or by the name-

“Bat boy! Oi, bat boy, I know you hear us!” This voice belonged to someone else, closer to Seonghwa now, and he shivered as he started to walk faster, clutching the coffee cup tight in his hands. The source of that name was more obvious - Onyx had followed Seonghwa from the forest, and people had spotted her perched on his shoulder upon the onset of dusk as he walked through the city. 

Considering his current reputation, his continued proximity to a bat wasn’t exactly the best way to re-assimilate into society, but Seonghwa would never tell Onyx to leave. After all, she was his only connection to the life he had left behind, and he relied on her company more than he wanted to admit. 

All he did was keep his head down and walk as fast as he could manage without drawing additional attention, but luck wasn’t on his side this time. The next time those names were called out, the voice was right behind him, and just as he was about to break into a run, a heavy weight barrelled into him and knocked him to the ground. 

He extended his hands to brace his fall, and his palms scraped hard against the concrete sidewalk as a result, pain shooting through the area at once. His coffee fell to the ground, now forgotten, the caramel colored liquid spilling from the cup. Immediately, he tried to roll over and get back to his feet, but the weight on top of him made that difficult. A hand tangled in the hair at the back of his head, smashing his face down into the ground, scraping his left cheek and brow bone. 

“Couldn’t run away from us this time, demon boy,” the voice sneered, and Seonghwa tried to catch a glimpse of who was pinning him in place, but he couldn’t crane his neck because of the hand holding his head down. “Parading around the city with these nice clothes, your stupid drink… we all know where you got that money from. You are a disgrace to all of us humans who have to work in order to live.” 

Seonghwa parted his lips, swallowing hard despite his discomfort. “You can do it too,” he croaked, although he knew that talking back would only make the situation worse. Sometimes he simply couldn’t help it - this man had knocked him to the ground right on the sidewalk, and no one even cared to help him. He watched the shoes of various people as they walked by, no one eager to help him once they realized who he was. “If you’re hurting for money, which it seems like you are. Becoming a feeder will fix that problem. Although, something tells me your appearance won’t provoke desire from most, so that may inhibit your chances.” 

The man raised Seonghwa’s head up a few centimeters from the ground before forcing it down again, the impact reverberating through Seonghwa’s skull. He bit down hard on his lip to hold back a groan, for he didn’t want to give his assailant the satisfaction of hearing it. “I’d rather be poor,” the man sneered, and that alone told Seonghwa that this man had never actually been poor in his life. Not poor to the point of desperation, at least. 

A pair of boots came into Seonghwa’s view, and a new voice spoke a moment later. “I wouldn’t act so smart while you’re at our mercy,” he said, voice deep and gravelly. “It’s clear you need to be taught a lesson.” 

Seonghwa gritted his teeth at that, bracing his body just before one of the boots drove into his ribcage, pain exploding from the area. Squeezing his eyes shut, Seonghwa forced himself not to make a sound, even as the boot landed again and again, his body wrought with agony after each blow. 

This was far from the first beating he had taken, but it had been a while since the last time, and the pain stole his breath away. He gasped for air, trying to move away from the relentless assault, but with the first man still on top of him he had little chance of doing so. Not even a minute had passed since he had first been knocked to the ground, but the corners of his vision had already started to blur, his consciousness becoming hazy. 

At least, until the man on top of him burst into a flurry of curses, his weight falling away from Seonghwa’s back at last, allowing him to scramble backwards. He left blood streaked on the pavement, dripping from the scrapes along the left side of his face. One last kick landed against his hip, but he had moved far enough to only be clipped by the toe of the boot this time, and he wrapped his arms tight around his middle to protect himself from further kicks that never came. 

Squinting against the afternoon sun, Seonghwa watched something small and black claw at the faces of both men, and only then did he register that Onyx had helped him. His stomach turned violently as blood burst from the claw marks, and both men cried out, gripping their faces as they rushed away, nearly falling into the road. Seonghwa wished they had been flattened by incoming traffic, but he didn’t get that lucky. 

Dragging himself into a sitting position, he leaned back against the nearest building, keeping his head down and ignoring the stares of passers-by. The pain made it difficult for him to breathe evenly, and he clutched at his abdomen, hoping that none of his ribs were broken. While he now possessed more money than ever before, he still wasn’t in the position to be paying any hospital bills. He resolutely looked away from his hands, scraped up and covered in blood, his stomach queasy.

Wings flapped nearby, and then a familiar weight settled onto his shoulder. Onyx nuzzled his neck, her concern palpable even with her lack of speech, and Seonghwa inhaled a shuddering breath. “I’m okay,” he muttered, blinking hard to keep his vision from spinning. “Don’ worry. I’m okay.” 

After another few moments, he forced himself to rise to his feet, for lingering on the streets in this state would only be an invitation for the next group of people with malicious intent to pick up where the other two men had left off. He braced his hand against the wall until he was able to stand properly on his own two feet, walking towards his apartment with Onyx perched on his shoulder now, his spilled coffee left behind. 

His gait was awkward due to the pain, and he kept his neck hunched, arms curled around his middle. The people walking past him melded into one continuous blur, and he didn’t notice when someone fell into step beside him until a voice broke through the haze clouding his mind. 

“I would have intervened in another moment, if it weren’t for your bat friend.” Seonghwa wrenched his head up with enough force for pain to lance through his neck, his heart stuttering in surprise at the unfamiliar voice. Did someone actually want to speak to him? 

He was immediately skeptical, squinting against the afternoon sun to get a better look at the person now walking beside him. The voice belonged to a woman, and he noted long black hair, pin straight and glossy enough to reflect the sun. She wore a hat with a wide brim, pulled down low over her face, and he couldn’t immediately place who she was until she tipped her chin just enough for him to make out her features. 

Immediately, his jaw went slack, and he had to resist the urge to stop in his tracks. “Why - why are you talking to me?” he asked, stumbling over his words. “What are you doing here?” 

She smiled, her perfectly painted red lips forming an elegant curve. “Your leader is my closest confidante on the council, you know. I owe him many favors, and he cashed in on one of those. After all, he possesses a wide number of connections, but I am the only one of those who can leave my coven house in the daytime.” 

Almost every vampire Seonghwa had encountered was beautiful in an ethereal, unnatural way, but Kobeula was elevated above the rest. He understood why she had such an impact on the economy, why her immortal presence was so significant; walking beside her, all of his thoughts fell away. 

Silence followed her words for longer than what was normal, before he looked away from her and swallowed. “So… he asked you to look after me?” 

That alone wasn’t a surprise, for Seonghwa had noticed familiar silhouettes watching him whenever he left his apartment at night, the shadows of his friends watching over him even now. But for Hongjoong to enlist the help of someone else, when he rarely engaged in such contact with other covens… it was unexpected, although perhaps it shouldn’t have been. 

“Yes, indeed,” she replied, her voice smooth as velvet. She was taller than Seonghwa as well, with a willowy frame that towered over the people around them. If it weren’t for the hat that managed to conceal her features, she would never be able to move so easily through the city like this. “He cares about you very much, that much is evident. Although I must say, I do not see what makes you so special to him. He has never acted like this before, and certainly not for a human.” 

Seonghwa’s cheeks warmed, although that was a point he had struggled to understand himself. “It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway,” he mumbled, not eager to talk about this, and especially not with her. “Is there a reason why you revealed yourself to me? Beyond just wanting to tell me that you watched me get beat up and did nothing to help me?” 

She let free a tinkling laugh at that, airy and poised. Seonghwa wondered if she ever allowed herself to experience genuine displays of emotion, ones that weren’t crafted to perfection like the rest of her; he found it unlikely, considering what he knew of her past. “You are not as meek as the world thinks, Park Seonghwa. I could not have revealed myself without escalating your story into something worse than it already is - do you truly want that? I would also have gotten myself in trouble as a result; vampires cannot raise a hand to humans without facing execution. Surely you know this by now.” 

“You could have left without saying a word to me,” Seonghwa pointed out, for her response didn’t entirely answer his question. “Why are you talking to me?” 

“Despite my earlier words, I do like you,” she responded, although Seonghwa wasn’t quite sure if that was meant to be a good thing or not. He had the feeling of being a bug under a microscope while in her presence, as if his mortal life was something of casual fascination to her. Which could benefit him, he supposed, if he played his cards right. “I do not wish for you to die. If word is spread that two men hurt you and faced no repercussions, this will not be your last beating. Surely you understand that.” 

With a wince, Seonghwa nodded. “However, do not fret too much. I will have eyes on you during the day - if not my own, then one of my most trusted companions within my coven. Many sunwalkers are cruel individuals, but not all. I cannot intervene, but that does not mean that I will do nothing. Like I said, if your bat friend hadn’t saved you, I would have done so myself. You underestimate the power of a beautiful woman - I do not need powers of hypnosis to coerce humans into doing my bidding. A humble plea to a member of the crowd would have done the trick nicely.” 

“And why would you go to such lengths for someone as unremarkable as myself?” Seonghwa prompted further, for he found her to be very difficult to read. If Hongjoong had put her up to this, then the chances were that she was trustworthy, but he had nothing to rely on other than her word. For all he knew, Hongjoong had never asked her to do this at all, and he was allowing himself to be snared in her web. 

She pursed her lips, her slender shoulders forming a firm line. “Because your leader has been a friend to me when no one else has. I may be powerful now, but this was not always the case. He has fought many losing battles for me on the council, representing my side to keep the stalemate. There are some issues that I feel quite strongly about, you see. He keeps me from losing the majority, even if he does not have a personal connection to my stance on such matters. For that reason, I owe him countless favors.” 

“So I am one of these favors,” Seonghwa deduced, and she nodded. “Well… I will not say that I trust you fully, because I don’t. And I won’t thank you either, since you didn’t really do anything to help me just now. But I appreciate you talking to me like normal - I haven’t experienced a lot of that, lately.” 

They were close to Seonghwa’s apartment now, and he began to slow down his walking speed. His body was still wracked by consistent waves of pain, and he really just wanted to go inside and fall asleep, although he would need to tend to his wounds first. 

Kobeula slowed alongside him, flicking a long segment of hair over her shoulder. Now that his shock had diminished, he was able to look at her more clearly. A snakeskin dress clung to her frame, and her nails were quite long and painted glossy red, the same shade as her lips. When she opened her mouth to speak again, the white color of her fangs stood out clearly. 

“I am sympathetic to your plight, Seonghwa,” she said, and her eyes softened a bit, although her irises were still incredibly dark. “The kind of violence that has been inflicted upon you in your life is not unknown to me. Or to many women in general, to be frank with you. My position on the council is often ridiculed because of that - I am sensitive to such souls, and at times it can impact my opinions in a way that is not entirely unbiased.” 

The two of them came to a complete stop now, right beside Seonghwa’s apartment building. She turned to face him fully now, speaking quietly so as to not be overheard. “If his continued efforts to get you on the turning waitlist ever bear fruit, I will be on his side in that matter. You have my word.” 

Taken aback by her honesty, Seonghwa nodded. Again, her lips curved into a careful smile, and she took a small step away from him. “Go take care of your injuries. Ice will help get rid of swelling. I don’t believe you’ve broken any ribs - you would have had a harder time walking here, if that were the case.” 

She made to leave then, but she turned back a second later, adding one last thing. “If you can find aloe vera, it will help to heal the bruising faster. Just a little trick I’ve learned over the decades.” She winked at him, and then she was gone, the wide brim of her hat visible over the crowd as she moved further away. 

Seonghwa blinked, staring after her for a moment before he shook his head and headed inside, taking the rickety old elevator up to the fourth floor. That interaction had left him with a lot to think about, his head spinning as he unlocked his apartment door and walked inside, closing it behind him with a weary sigh. 

He collapsed straight onto the couch, allowing himself a moment to catch his breath, the pain finally diminishing somewhat now that he wasn’t moving. Onyx flapped her wings, flying over to the curtains that covered the window to the left of the couch and hanging down from the thick golden rod. She wrapped her wings around herself, watching him from there. 

“Thanks for getting rid of those guys,” Seonghwa breathed, exhausted as he sank further into the cushions. “You saved me, you know. How did you even know that I needed you? You’re nocturnal.” 

Considering his own question, he frowned. “I suppose you can still be awake during the day if you want to be, though. I’ve been around vampires for too long - I forget that burning up in the sunlight isn’t actually the norm.” He spared a chuckle at his own words, rubbing the back of his neck for a moment before looking down at himself. “I guess I should look at these injuries, then.” 

He lifted the bottom hem of his shirt to expose the skin underneath, and he winced as soon as he began to survey the damage, his pain worsening as he did so. As expected, his entire abdomen was a mess; the first hints of bruises had already started to form, but for the most part the area over his ribs was red and swollen. In some places, he could even make out the outline of the sole of the man’s boot. 

Sharp pain flared under even the slightest contact, and as he ran the pads of his fingers over his skin, he had to bite down hard on his bottom lip in order to not make a sound. Not that it mattered, for no one was here to hear him anyway, but force of habit kept him silent. 

With gentle pressure, he began to press down on his ribs, traveling down the length of each bone to check for any breaks. Kobeula had said that his bones were likely okay, but he still wanted to check for himself. In the past, he had dealt with broken bones on his own, and he knew what to look for. 

After several long minutes of agony, he determined that nothing was broken, and he was able to breathe a bit easier. Even if his ribs were cracked in any places, they would heal on their own; he was just happy that he wouldn’t need to set any bones in his current state. 

From there, he moved onto the rest of his injuries, pulling out the limited first aid kit that he had relied on for years. The contents weren’t very expansive - gauze, bandaids, antiseptic cream, and a few other basic items - but the kit had always worked well enough. Clenching his teeth, he forced himself to look at the blood along his skin, dried and flaking now. Nausea crept up his throat, but at least the amount of blood from the scrapes was minimal. He cleaned the scrapes on his face and hands, along with a few other open wounds he discovered as he examined his body in full, before covering those areas to the best of his limited ability. 

Once he was finished, he put the kit away and finally forced himself to rise from the couch in order to fill a plastic bag with ice. He opened the window for Onyx as well, so that she would be able to leave whenever she wanted, although she appeared content hanging from his curtain rod. 

Settling back down onto the couch, Seonghwa reclined back now, resting the ice over his ribs. He released a long sigh, closing his eyes. These circumstances were far from ideal, but he was alive, and he had a roof over his head and food in the refrigerator. He couldn’t ask for much else other than that, but still another thought rose to the forefront of his mind, now that he had no other distractions to occupy his attention. 

If Hongjoong were here, he would have taken care of Seonghwa’s wounds instead, and he likely would have done a better job as well. He thought back to the time when Hongjoong had bandaged his neck after Wooyoung’s attack, how gentle he had been. Seonghwa had never known just how nice it could be to be taken care of by someone else until that day. 

With that one thought, he was consumed by the memories of Hongjoong’s hands, his gentle touches along Seonghwa’s waist, his cheeks, his neck. With his eyes closed, Seonghwa could almost imagine that those touches lingered against his skin even now, and his pain finally seemed to dull as his mind traveled to a different place and time.

He recalled being surrounded by ball gowns and formal attire at the masquerade, the sight of Hongjoong with that crimson mask covering half of his face, his eyes still just as enchanting from behind it. Those leather gloves had never left Seonghwa’s body that night, whether they were touching his hands or his waist or the small of his back. Seonghwa had never been one for dancing, an entirely foreign activity to him, but with Hongjoong guiding him he could have done it forever. 

Blinking his eyes open, Seonghwa rose from the couch, numb to the pain that lanced down his frame with the movement. His mind was elsewhere now, and in the time it had taken for him to tend to his injuries, the sun had sunk almost entirely below the horizon line. The curtains over his window were open from when he had opened the window for Onyx, and he stared at his reflection in the glass as he stood there in the center of his small apartment. 

He looked terrible, his face all scraped up and covered in haphazardly placed bandages, nothing like how he had looked on the day of the masquerade. But still, he raised his arms and imagined that one hand rested against Hongjoong’s shoulder, the other clasped in his cold hand. 

When he looked at his reflection like this, he could actually imagine that Hongjoong was really here, for he wouldn’t be reflected in the glass anyway. Seonghwa kept his eyes fixated on the image of himself reflected in the window glass as he began to move, pretending like he was dancing with Hongjoong all over again, the whispers of the classical music from that ballroom washing over his memories. 

As he danced, he maintained one foot in the present and one in the past, both times blending together now as he recalled how he had felt back then, before everything had gone wrong. He had still been terrified of growing old, but life itself had possessed an undertone of hope that was entirely gone now. If he had known that it would end this way, he would have savored those moments more. He would have committed everything to memory, every minute detail. 

But now all he had left was his mortal mind and the memories held within it, memories that would fade with every day that passed by. He had only been with the vampires for a year, after all - when another year passed, he would have spent more time away from them than with them. That thought was sobering, and he forced it away as he spun around, pretending like Hongjoong was there to catch him still. 

After another moment, he finally came to a stop, standing there in the middle of the room again. His ribs were screaming in protest from all of the movement, and he had no choice but to sink back down onto the couch, dropping his head into his hands. Would this ever get easier, he wondered? Or would he be filled with this yearning forever, pent up love pressing against the walls of his heart with nowhere to go? 

Lying back along the length of the couch once more, Seonghwa propped his legs up and rested his head against a throw pillow, his eyes closing. He was exhausted, and he had no other obligations to attend to, so there was no harm in sleeping for a while. After adjusting to the nocturnal schedule of the vampires, he found it difficult to sleep through the night - he would be awake before midnight, he was sure. 

Onyx still lingered in the apartment, and he felt less alone with her there, less afraid to close his eyes. No one could hurt him within these walls, and that was the only comfort he had left as he drifted into sleep. 

~

When he woke up a few hours later, his mind was clearer than before. He rubbed at his eyes as he sat up, looking towards the window to find that Onyx was gone now. She never went very far, but he suspected she had gone to hunt for something to eat now that night had fallen fully. 

Seonghwa stood from the couch and stretched his arms over his head, looking towards the digital clock on the microwave. As he had expected, the clock read 10:18 P.M. , and he was wide awake. He had another long night ahead of him, then, and he chewed at his bottom lip as he considered going out to run a quick errand. A few of the larger stores around his building were open until midnight, and he wouldn’t have to travel far. 

He wanted to purchase the item that Kobeula had mentioned earlier - aloe vera, she had called it. Seonghwa wasn’t familiar with it, but she had seemed to be speaking from experience, and he would like to eliminate as much of the bruising as possible. He wouldn’t be able to hand in any job applications or attend an interview looking like this, and that was his top priority at the moment. 

However, beyond just the aloe vera, he had been considering the idea of purchasing a cell phone for himself. Not that he had anyone to contact, but on the off chance that anything ever went terribly wrong, he would be safer with a phone. After the events that had occurred earlier that day, he wasn’t eager to continue to walk around the city without some kind of protective measure. He always carried his weapons from Hongjoong as well, but he couldn’t exactly use those on humans without committing a criminal offense far worse than tampering with his own medical records. 

After a few minutes of deliberating, he grabbed his jacket and shoes and headed for the door, locking it behind him. He took the elevator back down to the ground floor, and he wrapped his jacket tighter around himself as he stepped out onto the street. 

At this time of night, far less people were around, and he was able to breathe a bit easier as he headed for the nearest large department store that he hoped would carry both of the items he was looking for. He didn’t care about the logistics of the phone itself - he just wanted one that could call the emergency number in the city in case he ever needed it. 

The moon was nothing more than a dark shadow as it hung overhead, the stars barely visible over the light pollution of the city, streetlights and building lights blocking his view. After living in the forest, the city felt entirely cold and void of life, full of selfish, bustling souls. Everyone was always in a rush; always too concerned with themselves to spare a single thought for anyone else. None of it had ever bothered him this much until he realized how fulfilling life could be away from this place. 

He relied on his memory to find the department store, and he had to retrace his steps at one point after taking a wrong turn, but the walk itself was only about ten minutes in length. Just as he started to recognize that he was drawing closer, however, something heavy smashed into his head from behind, and he dropped to the ground like a sack of bricks. 

At first, the pain didn’t register, but his vision went entirely black. He couldn’t see a thing, all of the air pressed from his lungs, his limbs immobile as he lay sprawled against the concrete. Something warm and wet spilled down the back of his neck, indicative of an injury far beyond his mediocre healing capabilities, although he wasn’t aware of that just yet. He wasn’t aware of much of anything. 

A moment later, the pain hit all at once, and his head felt as if it were about to split in two. He couldn’t tell if his eyes were open or closed, and as hard as he tried to move his body, he couldn’t budge a single limb. The pain clouded every last nerve, consuming his surroundings as blood pooled around his head, hot and sticky. 

He knew that feeling. He remembered what it felt like to be drenched in blood, to feel it leaching into his skin. His stomach twisted so hard that it hurt, and he clenched his jaw tight as he tried to fight off the urge to panic, for that would only worsen his current situation. He needed to get out of here, and he needed to keep it together until then, fear of blood aside. 

Muffled sounds came from nearby, although Seonghwa couldn’t pinpoint the location due to both his current disorientation and his lack of sight. The pain itself was impossible to force aside, and he was only able to think in fragments as continued waves of agony crashed over his mind, dissolving any progress he made towards understanding his current situation. 

He had been walking to the store, but now he was sprawled on the ground, bleeding from the back of his head. The pain was unbearable, which probably signified a lot of damage that he wasn’t able to think about right then. A groan slipped past his lips, and he squeezed his eyes shut hard, allowing them to remain closed for a short time. As long as he didn’t see the blood, he would be able to hold himself together more easily. 

When something hard jabbed into his side and flipped him over onto his back, he squinted his eyes open just a sliver, and he was relieved to find that his vision had partially returned. The images around him were all blurred, but he could make out several figures, the outlines of people hovering over his vulnerable form. Immediately, he tried to curl in on himself, desperate to protect his most vital areas, but that same hard thing pressed into his side to resist the movement.

Seonghwa looked towards the touch without moving his head to find the dull silver exterior of a baseball bat, cold and solid. He suspected the blow against the back of his head had been dealt using the same weapon, a thought that was confirmed a moment later when he noticed the blood smudged over the metal. A shiver crawled down his spine, and he was desperate to move away, but his body still wouldn’t obey the commands of his mind. 

He decided to use that to his advantage, allowing himself to remain vulnerable against the ground, fighting the urge to fully open his eyes. If these people knew he was awake and somewhat aware, he would lose perhaps the only upper hand he had left - the element of surprise. At their angle, his eyes would still look closed, especially with the darkness that encased the city at this time of night. 

One of the figures knelt down to get closer to him, a woman who looked to be around Seonghwa’s age, with long hair that hung down to her waist. “He won’t be able to get away like this,” she said, a wicked grin curving her lips, exposing a crooked set of teeth. “He was right to choose us, not that he had much to go by anyway. This is even easier than I expected it to be - he’s already passed out. We can do whatever we want with him.” 

He? Who the hell was the “he” she was referring to? Seonghwa couldn’t figure anything out in his current state, and all he could do was hope for someone to come save him, because he had little faith in his own ability to escape. Lucky for him, however, his chances of being saved were incredibly high. 

Every time he left his apartment after the sun had already gone down, he noticed familiar figures watching him, the vampires from Hongjoong’s coven keeping tabs on him to ensure his safety even when he had chosen to leave them behind. Tonight was no different, he was sure, and he fought to keep his vision from darkening at the edges as he clung onto hope. 

Someone was going to come. He only needed to hold on until then, and he had been in worse situations than this before. This was far from ideal, but these were just humans. They could hurt him, but that was all they could do, and that thought brought him a bit of comfort despite its morbidity. 

Still, the woman’s words filled him with underlying dread, for as he began to recover from the initial shock of the blow to his head, he understood the implications of her words. Someone had put these humans up to this - at least, that was what it sounded like. And if vampires couldn’t interfere directly, as mentioned by Kobeula earlier… 

Rough hands grabbed at Seonghwa’s arms, picking him up from the ground with ease. His head was jostled with the movement, and he felt more blood pour down his skin, reminding him of the severity of his injury. Had the baseball bat cracked the back of his head open? Was his flesh merely split, or was the bone underneath damaged as well? 

Head injuries were bad news, and Seonghwa hoped that he only had a concussion and a wound that warranted a few stitches. Anything more than that would bring trouble that he was in no position to deal with, especially when he already felt close to being sick and blowing his cover entirely.

His body was thrown over the shoulder of a larger man with ease, his arms thick with muscle, the surface of his skin entirely covered by dark clothing. Again, another piece of evidence that this attack was premeditated, and Seonghwa had to resist the urge to struggle his way out of the man’s hold, for it would be no use anyway. Even in a healthy state, Seonghwa would be no match for someone of this size. 

Still, Seonghwa couldn’t just let himself be carried off without a fight. He had always been scrawny, but after his year in the coven house he was in the healthiest condition of his life, injuries aside. His limbs felt entirely numb, as if his entire body were encased in honey, and his head swam with the sudden change in orientation, but he had other means of getting away from these people. 

Turning the ruby on his ring and raising one of his hands to the man’s thick neck, Seonghwa quickly used the spike within to slice through the man's flesh before retracting it once more, not wanting the weapon to be stolen away. He dug his nails into the skin as deep as he could manage, tearing at flesh with no concern for his own pain. The man let free a scalding cry, but he didn’t react fast enough to avoid damage. Hot blood spilled through Seonghwa’s fingers, his nails bending backwards with the force of his scratches, the top layers of skin peeling away from the rest of the man’s flesh. He clenched his jaw tight enough to hear one of his teeth crack, willing himself to keep going, even when the sight of the blood made him feel lightheaded. He would have time to panic later; he couldn’t afford to do so now. 

This was his only chance, and even when the man gripped his wrist, squeezing tight and compressing flesh and bone, Seonghwa didn’t stop. He dug his fingers in as deep as they could possibly go, hoping to sever some kind of vital artery, to eliminate one of these humans. From what he knew, the blood vessels in the neck weren’t far beneath the skin. While he was a peaceful person, he would not let himself die at the hands of these people. They had already hit him over the head with a baseball bat - he had little hope for what would come next. 

The man tried to throw him down, but Seonghwa clung to his neck using his nails even when he felt something in his wrist snap, dangling awkwardly above the ground for one eternal moment. Time seemed to freeze, Seonghwa’s fingers deep in the flesh of the man’s neck, agony shooting down the length of his arm. 

Now that he had exposed his own consciousness, his eyes flew open wide, and he watched his own hand as if it weren’t a part of his body. He watched his fingers grip the torn and bleeding flesh of the man’s neck and pull. He heard the snap of ligaments and muscle, the wet spatter of arterial blood as it pumped freely from the blood vessel he had just torn open. He tasted blood on his tongue, warm and thick, and blinked it out of his eyes. Panic seized his frame, and the strength flooded out of him, not a moment too soon. 

All of those sensations crashed over him in a split second, and then his hold on the man’s neck broke at last, sending him back down to the solid concrete ground. His shoulder collided hard with the sidewalk, and he immediately tried to scramble away, although his movements were more sluggish than they should have been. 

He instinctively tucked his injured wrist close to his chest, and he looked down at his hand to find a chunk of severed gore clutched in his fingers, blood smeared everywhere. His fingers were clenched too tight for him to release the piece of flesh, his mind only partially in control of his body still, and he could only stare at the blood for a second. He still tasted it in his mouth, felt it over his skin, hot and warm and so reminiscent of that memory from when he was a child. 

Stomach twisting, he smashed his hand against the ground, using the pain to open his fingers and let go of the flesh. He frantically wiped his hand on the front of his shirt, breaths tearing out of him, but it made no difference. The blood was everywhere, and if he stayed here and descended further into his panic, it would only get worse. 

He needed to get out of here, and he began to force himself to move backwards, bile sitting against the back of his tongue. He didn’t feel sick because of what he had done; it was just the blood. Blood, everywhere. He had to look away from his own body, to pretend like the blood wasn’t there, and instead he watched the commotion ahead of him as if through a veil. 

The man had fallen to the ground now, his blood spreading over the sidewalk, black in the moonlight. In this light, Seonghwa could almost convince himself that it wasn’t blood at all. He was dead, Seonghwa knew that in his bones - he had felt the rush of blood cascade over his own skin, the sheer volume of which could only have come from a major blood vessel, and he shivered at the memory. His crumpled form was lifeless, unmoving, and as Seonghwa continued to drag himself away he counted three other people hovering over the dead man, including the woman with the baseball bat from before. 

Seonghwa tried to rise to his feet, determined to run away from these people while they were distracted, but he couldn’t manage it. The wound along the back of his head had wreaked havoc on his entire body, and his limbs moved with a consistent delay, a large portion of his strength completely sapped. Not to mention the panic that constricted his movements, his heart beating rapidly behind his ribs as he barely clung to coherence. Still, if he had to drag himself until he reached somewhere safe, he would do it. 

With every moment that passed, he lost confidence in being saved by one of the few people in this world whom he trusted, for surely they would have come to his aid by now. Had something happened to whoever was supposed to be watching him tonight? Or had their schedule simply grown lax, concern for Seonghwa dwindling over the weeks he had spent away? 

That thought sent a pang of pain through his chest, so he set it aside, for he was in enough pain already. The only person he could rely on was himself, and that was nothing new. He had just killed a man with his bare hands, because these people had underestimated him, assuming him to be a weak damsel with no guts of his own. But to survive on these streets, Seonghwa had done bad things. Bad things had been inflicted upon him, more times than he could count. 

This situation was just another one of those times, and the humans who had attacked him were fools for believing what everyone in this damned city seemed to believe, that Seonghwa was helpless without his coven of vampires behind him. In a situation where his only two options were to kill or be killed, he would not hesitate to save his own skin. 

He had never actually killed a man before, but he felt no sick twist of regret, no overwhelming urge to empty the contents of his stomach because of the life he had taken. The blood was another story, but he held no remorse for what he had done. Probably because that man would have killed him, or at least hurt him, and in that case Seonghwa owed him absolutely nothing. Anyone who believed that killing was always morally wrong was lucky enough to have never been in a situation like this, because the truth was that death would never be so black and white. 

Seonghwa managed to drag himself to the street corner, and he rolled his way around the corner, his breath escaping in harsh, uneven gasps. He would never be able to make it back to his apartment like this, but all he cared about right now was getting away from those people. 

The streets around him were mostly empty at this time of night, for he had walked towards a quieter part of the city to find the department store, but he couldn’t rely on anyone else for help anyway. Earlier that same day, no one had assisted him when those other two men had attacked him on the street. No one was going to save him from this situation other than himself. 

He was only able to move slowly, unable to get to his feet even as he tried again, and when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching again he knew he had no chance of getting away. Not in this state, and not after he had just killed one of those people. The remaining three wouldn’t let him slip away so easily. 

“There he is!” called out one of the voices, and then they were upon him again. All he saw was a flash of silver before the baseball bat slammed down again, this time against his ankle, glancing off the joint as he failed to move away in time. The bone strained beneath the blow, followed by a sharp burst of agony, and Seonghwa had no idea if his ankle was broken or not. Either way, he definitely stood no chance of standing now, and when another person lifted him up his attempts at struggling were painfully subdued. 

Every movement hurt, and the man holding him now was smart enough to throw him further over his shoulder, keeping Seonghwa’s head and arms away from his neck. All Seonghwa could manage to do was punch and kick sluggishly at the man’s body, but no real force was held behind the attacks, rendering them mostly useless. 

Now when he was carried away from the scene of the initial attack, all of his protests amounted to nothing; he tried to scream, but the sound was strangled and warped, and no one was around to hear him anyway. Anyone in the vicinity would have fled at the sound of struggle to avoid being hurt themselves, and he couldn’t even blame them for that when he would have done the same. He tried to escape the man’s hold, to wriggle out of his grip, but in his present state he wasn’t coordinated enough to do so. He was entirely trapped, at the mercy of these other humans as they carried him towards somewhere, dread and anxiety causing his frame to shake. 

The three people - one man and two women, now that the second man was dead - did not speak as they walked, but they moved at a brisk pace, as if they had a deadline to meet. Now that the middle of September was approaching, the wind at night cut through their clothes with an underlying chill, a whisper of the cold that the coming months would bring. 

Seonghwa tried to keep track of his surroundings, but the task was difficult when the man holding him held no regard for his comfort, his head jostling again and again with each step. The blood had stopped flowing from the back of his head, but it was crusted all down his neck, soaking his collar. Seonghwa did everything in his power to not look down at it, for the last thing he needed now was to descend further into panic. 

They passed by rows and rows of buildings on the city streets, taking a few turns that Seonghwa tried to keep track of amidst his swimming consciousness. He struggled just to stay awake, let alone to keep a mental map of the exact path traveled. The pain in his head had dulled to a constant throb, but he still couldn’t think straight, blinking hard every few seconds to clear his blurring vision. 

When he noticed a small form approaching from behind a streetlight, he assumed that he was seeing things, but after blinking the shape only became more defined. Onyx flew down from above, her claws bared outwards, wings extended in a steady glide headed straight for Seonghwa and the man holding him, although it was difficult for Seonghwa to grasp her exact trajectory when he was currently being held upside-down. 

Still, he heard the grunt of pain when she found her target, and he didn’t need to be able to see the commotion to know that she had just clawed the man in the face. Another roar, and then he watched as Onyx came back into his view, her body thrown down to the concrete. 

Even in his addled state, Seonghwa regained a bit of awareness at that, his eyes opening wider as a protest automatically burst from his lips, his words slurred. “Don’ hurt her!” he yelled, his voice hoarse now from his attempted screaming earlier, but his words held no influence over these people. 

Onyx lay crumpled on the sidewalk, and one of the women raised her foot to stomp down on her prone form. The force of a blow like that would be enough to kill her, to snap her neck and break her wings, and Seonghwa mustered all of the strength he had left to let free a grating cry. “Onyx, move!” 

With a weak flap of her wings, Onyx raised herself from the ground just in time to avoid being crushed, relying on a lucky gust of wind to glide further away from the group of them. She was clearly hurt, for she didn’t move with her regular ease, but at least she wasn’t dead. She would be okay, and Seonghwa breathed easier once she was out of sight. 

“Lemme go after the damn bat,” the man growled, his breath labored. Seonghwa couldn’t see his face, but he was sure that the claw wounds were dripping blood. He hoped they would leave a scar, that the man would wear the mark of Onyx’s attack forever. 

“You can’t,” one of the women hissed, the one holding the baseball bat. “We’re barely on time as it is. Keep fucking moving.” 

With a muttered curse, the man followed along after the two of them, his nails digging painfully into Seonghwa’s legs even through the fabric of his pants. Again he tried to struggle, but he may as well have been unconscious for how useless his efforts were. All he achieved was a further drain on his energy, and eventually he fell limp again, closing his eyes to keep his head from spinning at the sight of the flipped city streets. 

After another few minutes, the sound of footsteps against concrete softened, and he squinted his eyes open to find that they were entering a forest. A chill shot down the length of his spine immediately, because a swathe of forest in the middle of the city like this could only mean one thing - vampire territory, never to be traversed by humans without risk. Worse, he didn’t recognize this forest. 

They weren’t entering the Immortal Forest, which meant that they were entering the territory of another coven. Which meant that the “he” these humans had referred to before was most likely a vampire. 

Seonghwa’s blood shot cold, and he began to struggle in vain all over again, desperate to get out of the vice-like grip that held him in place. If he didn’t get away, he was going to die here. He knew that deep in his bones, a renewed awareness washing over him as he was carried further into the forest, writhing in the man’s hold despite the pain that erupted along his aching body with every movement. 

He would rather be in pain than dead. Anything other than death, not like this - which was ironic, since Seonghwa had wished to die many times in his life. But now that he was staring death in the face, he felt desperation like he had never known before, a violent, thrashing need to live. 

His weapons were still an option, but he ruled them out quickly. To use the knife now would only betray his greatest asset, for he was too weak to use it properly, too far outnumbered for it to matter. The ring would inflict minimal damage upon a human without an opening like before, as the short wooden spike was really intended to harm vampires. He was better off saving it for whoever had organized all of this.

With his waist resting over the man’s shoulder, his legs hung in front of the man’s chest, and Seonghwa clenched his jaw as he swiftly kicked one of his feet forward, opting for a different form of self defense. He aimed blindly, based on his poor attempts to orient himself as he hung upside-down, but luck was on his side as his shoe drove directly into the man’s groin. 

The arms around his legs went slack for just a moment, and Seonghwa slid out of the man’s grip, colliding headfirst with the soil. Compared to the concrete sidewalks of the city, the impact was bearable, and he scrambled to escape as soon as he was free. He crawled along the root-riddled ground, clawing at the dirt with his nails, until the two women grabbed him by the legs and dragged him backwards. 

Seonghwa let out a frustrated cry, his heart thumping hard against his ribs, but all of his attempts at escape fell flat when he was outnumbered and suffering from a significant head wound. He had known his efforts were fruitless, considering his inability to walk, but he couldn’t die without fighting back. Not after everything. “Get back here, bat boy,” one of the women sneered, kicking him across the face, pain erupting against his cheekbone. 

“Fuck you,” Seonghwa spat, for he saw no need to hold himself back anymore. “Fuck all of you. I’m a human, just like you. You would do this to your own kind? You would do the dirty work for a vampire?” He curled his lip in disgust, practically snarling his next words. “You’re pathetic. Call me all the names you want - it won’t improve your own life. Hurting another human being won’t heal your own wounds. I feel sorry for you. At least I’ve had love in my life.” 

The baseball bat came down with force against Seonghwa’s kneecap, and a scream tore out of him, guttural and piercing as it ripped through the quiet forest over the wet crunch of bone. His vision swam, and he struggled to maintain consciousness, keeping his eyes away from his own leg. If he saw the damage, he would panic. He would pass out, and these people would be able to do anything they wanted with him. 

“I’m getting closer to killing this fucker myself,” the man grunted, recovered enough to speak, although his voice was still strained. 

“We can’t. The shack is right there, I can see it through the trees. Everyone take a limb - we’ll carry him that way, so he can’t try anything else.” That was one of the women, and in response to her words, hands wrapped around Seonghwa’s wrists and ankles. 

Pain seared through his broken wrist, and he watched through his hazy vision as the man grabbed both of his ankles, nodding at his accomplices before they all raised him from the ground. Immediately another scream burst out of him, for his shattered knee shifted horribly with the movement, forced to bear pressure that only worsened the break further. 

They carried him through the woods like that, completely ignorant to his pain. Seonghwa must have passed out for a minute, or at least his mind must have retreated far enough to numb the pain signals, for he only came back to himself when he was dropped unceremoniously on a floor. 

A floor - not the dirt- and grass-riddled ground of the forest. 

Around him were walls made from old wooden planks, faded with age and held together by nails, the heads of which he could see embedded at periodic intervals in the wood. The three humans let go of his limbs and disappeared from his sight, the sound of a rickety door closing following their absence. 

With the distant twinkle of the stars blocked now, Seonghwa was surrounded by darkness, and he couldn’t even begin to figure out where he was as he struggled to simply draw breath. His lungs were burning, and the pain was unbearable, all of his nerves screaming out in desperation, sending alarm signals to his brain. 

Why had these people brought him here? As he struggled to catch his breath, the word “shack” came to the front of his mind, for one of them had mentioned that - why would they bring him to a strange shack in the middle of the forest? Which forest was he currently surrounded by? Had the people left, or were they waiting outside of the shack for… for what? 

He struggled to get a grip on his panic, for the more he allowed himself to think, the more he spiralled. Why had none of the vampires from Hongjoong’s coven noticed what had happened to him tonight? Every other night when he left his apartment, he had seen one of them from afar, monitoring him for his own safety. Why not tonight?

That thought terrified him most of all, because he feared that something may have happened to whoever was meant to be watching him. Someone like Hongjoong or San would be fine on their own, but what if it had been Wooyoung’s turn, or even Yunho? Wooyoung was still a baby in vampire terms, and Yunho didn’t even have fangs - could something have happened to either of them, to keep them from watching him tonight?

For as long as he spent here on the floor, wallowing in his own pain, he would never know the answer to that. Perhaps he was here to starve, to be trapped in here until he couldn’t see straight, couldn't think straight. Or maybe the reason was entirely different. Either way, he would never know if he didn’t make his escape while he was still conscious. 

Placing his weight on his uninjured wrist, Seonghwa forced himself up into a seated position, his head spinning dangerously at the change in orientation. He raised a hand to touch the back of his head briefly, only to find that his hair was matted with blood that was now tacky as it dried. That would be a problem to deal with later, along with all of his other wounds - he had to get out of here first. 

A distant, high-pitched sound came from somewhere outside, cutting through the quiet in the forest. It continued for several seconds, and Seonghwa blinked hard, trying to clear the fog out of his mind. He didn’t understand any of it until he heard rustling from over his head, although it was too dark inside of the shack for him to see anything. 

He squinted up towards the ceiling, only to cry out when something sharp raked across his face, splitting skin and drawing blood. The sound of flapping wings filled his ears, and then more claws raked down the length of his arm, over his chest. As he waved his hands around to prevent any further injuries, Seonghwa pieced together the situation, his stomach twisting. 

This shack was full of roosting bats, and he was sure that the high-pitched sound had been intended to stir them into frenzy, courtesy of the humans who had brought him here. After all, bats had poor eyesight - they relied on echolocation to map their surroundings, and their senses had likely been thrown into disarray by the whistling. 

All of this had been planned, from the very start. This shack full of bats, the whistling, the absence of Hongjoong or any of the other coven members… Seonghwa shivered at the thought, because it still made no sense. Why was he here? What was the purpose of trapping him in here? 

The bats served as a reference to the name that humans had taken to calling him, he was sure, and they continued to flap around in their panic, scratching his skin. Seonghwa was grateful for the darkness, for he couldn’t see his own blood this way, although the feeling of the warm liquid spilling over his skin caused bitter bile to scald the back of his tongue. 

He tried to swat the bats away, but he used no real force, because he didn’t want to hurt them. Another set of claws tore down the plane of his face, and even when he squeezed his eyes shut, he failed to fully protect himself. His eyelids were too thin, and pain shot through to his right eye, his optic nerve set ablaze. 

A cry passed through his lips as he clapped his hands over his eye, blood pouring into his cupped hands, dripping to the floor. The darkness made it impossible for him to see anyway, but he was sure that his eye was ruined. He pulled his knees to his chest, backing up against the wall as he tried to protect himself as best as he could, reeling from the pain as the claws continued to tear him apart. 

Why wasn’t anyone coming to save him? He was all alone, and he was losing the feeling in his fingers and toes, the exhaustion cutting so deep that his heartbeat struggled to keep its usual pace. 

If he didn’t get out of here, he was going to die. He was covered in wounds and several of his bones were broken. Infection wouldn’t take long to set in, not when these scratches came from wild animals. 

Again, that same strong feeling crashed over him, the realization that he didn’t want to die. Perhaps he would have allowed himself to succumb to his injuries at any other point in his life, but he understood now how it felt to live a life that wasn’t bogged down by misery. 

This situation was likely hopeless either way, but if he could just get himself out of this shack… if he could just drag himself out of this forest… if he could just find his way back to one of his friends… then he would be able to fall unconscious and know that he was in good hands. He fixated on that thought, and he began to run his fingers along the wall of the shack, looking for the door. 

When he found it, he tried to open it, already expecting that it wouldn’t be so easy. Sure enough, something heavy and metallic rattled on the other side, likely a lock of some kind. From what Seonghwa could tell, the weathered walls would be easier to eliminate than a thick locking mechanism, so he redirected his attention to the stretch of wall beside the door. 

“I’m gonna get outta here,” he slurred, talking to the bats around him even as they continued to scratch his skin. By the time he escaped, his clothes would be in tatters, not a single part of his body unwounded. “I’ll set you all free.” 

He tried to wedge his fingers between two of the planks of wood that made up the walls, determined to tear this dilapidated shack apart. His own strength alone would never be enough to do something like this, but he did still have a few tools of his own - the knife in the pocket of his pants, for one, along with the ring that Hongjoong had given him. 

Reaching the knife without discovery had been impossible while being carried, and he hadn’t wanted to betray the locations of his weapons without an opening. Even if he had managed to strike down another one of them, he would still have been half dead and outnumbered. If he had lost the knife, then he would really have no chance of getting out of here, and he was grateful now that he had chosen to keep its existence a secret. He pulled it out of his pocket and felt along the hilt until he found the ruby that opened the blade. 

With the blade opened to its full length, Seonghwa ran his fingers up the first plank of wood beside the door, searching for the nails that held the walls together. He had caught a glimpse of them when he had first been dumped in here, before the door had been closed and all light eliminated, and it didn’t take long for him to locate the first two nails, positioned side by side. 

Seonghwa’s fingers were shaking, but he tried to keep his grip strong as he dug the tip of the knife beneath one of the nails. He possessed little remaining strength to begin with, but adrenaline thrummed beneath his skin as he leaned heavily on his uninjured wrist, ignoring the sharp pain that spread along his scraped palms from the attack earlier that day. 

Now that the whistling had stopped, the bats began to settle down once more, roosting along the ceiling. Seonghwa hoped that the humans who had brought him here were gone, for the whistling sounds did not return. Left alone here in the woods, he would be able to get himself out. As long as no one else tried to hurt him, he would find his way out of this. 

Still, an inkling of apprehension gnawed at his mind, although he tried to ignore it in favor of focusing on his escape. He was in a forest, which meant that he was in the territory of one of the other three vampire covens in the city. After his earlier interaction with Kobeula he was inclined to believe that she wouldn’t have organized something like this, but the other three covens were huge. Even if the coven leaders themselves didn’t call for this, one of the vampires under their influence may have. 

Chills crept over Seonghwa’s skin, pain and discomfort and fear all melding together as he finally pried the first nail out of the wall. It fell to the ground with a dull clinking sound, and he rubbed the back of his hand over his forehead, already winded. 

He moved onto the next, prying it from the wall with copious amounts of effort. Although he couldn’t see the wall well, he assumed all of these nails to be rusted into place with age, the metal texture rough against the pads of his fingers. 

Once the second nail dropped from the wall, Seonghwa’s hands were slick with sweat, even as he shivered from the chill. His body was sending mixed signals, confused after all of the injuries he had sustained, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up on the floor and let himself cry. 

His eyes stung, the ruined one still dribbling blood, and his throat burned with unshed tears, but he couldn’t let himself break yet. Not while he was still in danger, when he was running on borrowed time. He searched the wall for the next set of nails, prying those out from the wood as well. 

The process was slow, and after the third plank of wood he was heaving unsteady breaths, his chest burning. In order to eliminate these planks, he needed to remove the next set of nails located higher along the wall, so he dragged himself to a kneeling position with his weight resting on his uninjured knee and raised his arms, his vision going black for a moment before returning to normal. Vomit flooded his mouth, spilling from his lips.

“I’m okay,” he muttered to himself, struggling to speak at this point, his tongue swollen and massive within his mouth. “Jus’ a few more. Tha’s all.” 

No one was around to hear him talk, but it made him feel less alone as he continued to pull nails from the wall, his muscles shaking with fatigue. With every movement, he felt the trickle of flesh blood escaping from his wounds, given no chance to heal before being torn open again. 

When the last nail was out of each of the three planks of wood, Seonghwa sucked in a deep breath and forced himself to stand, leaning heavily on the wall for support. His shattered knee buckled under the pressure, and his mouth opened in a silent scream as he crashed back down to the ground, all of his wounds jostled by the hard impact. 

He had no choice but to lay there for a moment as he waited for the pain to abate, gritting his teeth so hard that he heard one of them crack, his good eye squeezed shut even as salt pooled around the seam, the damaged socket of his other eye hanging torn and useless. Before he could stop it, a sob escaped from his lips, ragged and hoarse. He just wanted to go home. 

Wiping at his face, he forced himself to open his eye and attempt to stand once more, this time allowing his injured leg to drag behind, leaning all of his weight on the other one. Pain flared from his ankle as he bore weight on the injury there, for amidst the agony radiating from his leg, Seonghwa had forgotten about the blow to the ankle he had sustained as well. He was hopeful that the bone wasn’t broken, for the pain wasn’t nearly as awful as his knee. 

Leaning his entire weight against the wall, Seonghwa tried to push the wooden planks outwards. Now that the nails had been removed, this section of the wall was less stable than the rest, and the wood was old to begin with. Seonghwa had hardly any strength remaining, but it had to be enough. 

Clenching his jaw, he pressed his shoulder hard against the wood, pushing with all of his might. His muscles strained, veins building from his skin as blood continued to soak his clothes. He dug his nails into the wood, trying to force the planks outward, a cracking yell slipping between his teeth as he used every ounce of strength that remained within his body. 

The wood strained, creaking under the force of his pushing. He heard the planks splinter, felt the wood bend, and he pushed with the last of his strength as the wood finally broke. 

Seonghwa tumbled through the hole in the wall, colliding hard with the forest floor, his cheekbone smashing against an exposed tree root. His vision blacked out again as his broken bones were jostled and twisted, his entire body submerged in an endless vat of pain. 

But at least he was free. He heard the flapping of wings, and he regained his vision just in time to watch the last bats fly out of the shack, their wings silhouetted against the starlight. 

With a shaky sigh, Seonghwa forced himself up into a sitting position, leaning heavily on his hands. He looked down at his legs only to choke on his next breath, his eye opening wide as he gagged, shaking violently. His right leg was bent at an unnatural angle, his knee completely crushed, forming a crater beneath his clothing. Blood drenched his pants, his shirt, his socks, everything; he had never seen this much blood on his own body before. Dark pools of it filled the folds of his pants, spilling from where it had accumulated in his shoes. The rational part of his mind short circuited at last, panic finally swelling large enough to take over everything else. 

When the bile surged, he was powerless to stop it, and he vomited all over himself. He was shaking so hard that he couldn’t continue to hold himself up, and he fell back to the ground without grace, his spine impacting the dirt hard. Even as he gasped for air, none of it reached his lungs, and he hyperventilated at the sight of all that blood, the feeling of it on his skin, the memories that rose to the forefront of his mind. 

His life had started in this way, drenched in blood after being attacked as a baby, given no real chance at a decent life from the very start. And now, his life was going to end this way as well. He was going to die here, because he couldn’t even breathe, let alone move. He couldn’t walk, he couldn’t crawl - he couldn’t even sit for longer than a few seconds. 

He was going to die. The realization sunk in as his panic surged, his entire body shaking out of his control, his broken and battered limbs sprawled out at odd angles. 

A breathless sob burst from his lips, and then he couldn’t stop himself from breaking down at last, tears running into his mouth and ears, salt spreading over his tongue. His entire frame jolted with every sob that ripped out of him, his desperation so palpable that he half expected the leaves on the trees around him to wilt. 

This was the end, and even after everything, he was still alone. He had found something worth living for, and now here he was, dying because he had left it all behind. 

How stupid he had been. How utterly stupid. Gritting his teeth, he released a guttural scream, raising his shaking hands to his face and clawing at his own skin. He didn’t even feel the pain anymore, numb to all of it, but he needed an outlet for all of the pent up rage and desperation and terror that pushed at his skin from the inside, a mass of emotions too large for him to handle on his own. 

He needed to be held, to be taken care of, to be reassured. But he didn’t have any of that right now, so all he could do was force himself to bask in the pain, for all of that rage was only directed towards his own actions, his own choices. 

He should have stayed with the only people who cared about him. Then none of this would have happened. But maybe they didn’t care anymore, if no one had been watching him on this night to keep him safe. Maybe they didn’t even care if he died here, all alone. 

Seonghwa raked his nails down his face, drawing more blood, but none of it mattered anymore. The panic was all consuming, and eventually his frustrated screams turned into weak cries, because he didn’t have the energy for anything else. Eventually, he stopped tearing up the skin along his face and pressed his hands over his mouth instead, muffling the sounds of his own anguish. 

He was too weak to do anything other than cry, lying there on the ground right outside of the shack. Why had those humans brought him here? He still didn’t understand any of it, but he was in no position to piece anything together in his current state. He was in no position to do much of anything, and he at least hoped that he would fall unconscious soon, that he wouldn’t feel it when his heart gave up like his mind already had. 

A slight rustling sound came from the brush nearby, but he ignored it at first, for forests like this one were full of all kinds of nocturnal creatures. But then the sound came again, closer this time, and he rolled his head to the side with a wince to search for the source. 

At first, he saw nothing but darkness, the shadowed outline of trees blocking his view of anything else. But the sound continued, and Seonghwa bit down hard on his lip, holding his breath as he waited. Fear gripped him even worse than before, because he knew where he was, after all. He was in vampire territory; chances were that he wasn’t going to be found here by someone friendly. 

He didn’t even bother trying to move away, though. Not this time. What was the point, when he would never be able to outrun an enemy in this state? Had those humans roughed him up for this exact reason, so that he wouldn’t be able to run away now? He should have been more disturbed by that, but he was too numb to care about much of anything. Death was inevitable; he would rather die quickly from another attack than continue to feel his own body give up. 

At least, until someone stepped out from the brush, and Seonghwa’s mind went quiet. He could do nothing but stare at first, lips parted in surprise, the rapid pace of his heartbeat finally calming down. 

The source of the sounds had never been an enemy, for he knew that silhouette even before he drew close enough for the moonlight to illuminate his features. Wooyoung was here, and Seonghwa inhaled his first full breath in what felt like a lifetime, hot tears immediately blurring his vision as his lips wobbled into an unsteady smile. 

“Wooyoung,” he croaked, the tears spilling over his cheeks, different from the ones before. His pain didn’t seem quite so bad now, hope sparking back to life within his heart, filling him with a desire to live. He wasn’t alone anymore - Wooyoung was here. He must have been the vampire on watch that night, and he had found Seonghwa here before any other vampires could do the same. 

Everything was going to be okay. 

A sob fell from Seonghwa’s lips, and he extended a shaky, blood-covered hand, his heart so full that he feared it would burst. “You came. Angel, you - you came for me.” 

Wooyoung stared at Seonghwa’s outstretched hand, taking note of all of the scratches and scrapes that covered his skin, his clothing now in tatters. He scanned over the rest of Seonghwa’s body as well, gaze lingering on the worst of his injuries, on the blood that caked his skin. 

For a long moment, all he did was stand there, fixated on Seonghwa’s wounds. His jaw was clenched tight, and his fingers trembled slightly at his sides. Something was wrong, and Seonghwa softened. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. I know I - I look scary right now, but I’m going to be fine. I just need your help, that’s all. Can you do that for me?” He smiled even as the tears continued to fall, gathering in the seam of his mouth. 

However, Wooyoung still didn’t move, and Seonghwa’s smile began to droop as he stared. He seemed to be embroiled in some kind of internal struggle, his hands shaking and his lips twitching, almost like he wanted to speak. But he didn’t say a word, still just standing there, a vein visibly strained along the plane of his neck. 

“Wooyoung?” Seonghwa asked again, his voice hushed. “Are - are you okay? Did someone do something to you, too?”

Again, he received no response, and his smile fell completely as his muscles stiffened. “Wooyoung… you’re scaring me. Did someone hurt you? Please, angel, just tell me what happened. I’m here now, it’s okay. I promise.” 

The standstill continued for another few seconds, until Wooyoung finally made a move, stepping closer to Seonghwa. As he eliminated the distance between them, Seonghwa was able to make out his features more clearly, and he sucked in a sharp breath as he noted the state of Wooyoung’s face. 

He didn’t have any life threatening injuries, for that was the nature of his identity as an immortalist, but he still didn’t look right. His eyes were oddly unfocused, his cheeks flushed red, which was odd considering that Seonghwa had never seen a vampire with any kind of color in their face before. Sweat matted his hair down against his temples, and his lips were horribly bitten and torn, blood drenching his chin and throat, all the way down to where it soaked his collar. 

Seonghwa watched as the skin along his lips healed right before him, before Wooyoung bit down against and tore right through his own skin with his fangs. “Wooyoung, no!” Seonghwa exclaimed, horrified. “Don’t hurt yourself, stop!” 

His words fell upon deaf ears, however, for Wooyoung continued to wield his fangs against his own skin, tearing his bottom lip all the way down to the start of his chin. Even then, his attempts at hurting himself made little difference, for the skin healed as soon as it split. The blood poured regardless, trickling down the length of his throat, crimson and sticky and thick. 

Bile surged up Seonghwa’s throat again, and he heaved onto the forest floor this time, his stomach spasming as his body began to tremble all over again. “Stop,” he gasped, struggling to breathe as his heart hammered against his ribs, all of his former relief gone now. “Please, stop. Don’t - don’t hurt yourself. Stop. Just stop, please. Make it stop.”

Strong hands gripped Seonghwa by the shoulders, forcing him down fully against the ground, his back pressed against the soil. A soft, pained sound escaped as Seonghwa tried to pry the hands away, but Wooyoung’s grip was strong to the point of painful, his nails digging into Seonghwa’s already damaged skin. 

“What are you doing?” Seonghwa breathed, eye open wide in horror as he stared up at Wooyoung’s face, familiar but so, so wrong. He watched as the boy tore through his lips and chin with his fangs again, the blood spilling down onto Seonghwa’s face this time, hot and heavy with the smell of iron, metallic as it entered his mouth. “Stop, Wooyoung! Stop!” 

Seonghwa was screaming now, trying to get away, his panic so vast that he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. “Get off me! Get off, just get off!” But his body was already too weak to get away, and Wooyoung’s grip was impossibly strong, his hands like vices against Seonghwa’s shoulders. 

They stayed like that for several seconds, staring at each other, Seonghwa hyperventilating and Wooyoung deathly calm. Something in his eyes was wrong, lacking the warmth that Seonghwa was so used to. All he found there now was emptiness, eerie and hollow and more terrifying than anything else Seonghwa had faced on this night. 

“Get off,” he said again, his voice hoarse now, his screams fading due to his fatigue. He couldn’t struggle anymore, his heart beating so fast that he feared he would suffer cardiac arrest in a matter of moments. “Please, Wooyoung. Please. I - I don’t-” He swallowed hard, trying to think straight, looking up at that blank expression. “Who did this to you? Why are you hurting yourself?” 

Wooyoung parted his lips as if to respond, before driving his fangs back through his lips, continuing to mutilate his own body instead. “Why are you doing that?” Seonghwa asked again, clenching his teeth together, coughing on bile. “Stop! Just fucking stop!” 

But Wooyoung didn’t stop. He didn't even hear anything Seonghwa was saying, his mind somewhere far away. “Please, angel. Please,” Seonghwa sobbed, lying there limp now, giving up on his own escape. “Help me. I need your help.” 

For just a second, Seonghwa watched something flit over Wooyoung’s gaze, a change in expression that was so momentary Seonghwa almost thought he had imagined it. His eyes betrayed a glimmer of emotion so visceral that Seonghwa flinched back, choking on a breath. 

Desperation. Anguish, terror, guilt. Pain, such an intense pain that it knocked the air from Seonghwa’s lungs. He stared back at the boy currently pinning him down to the forest floor, drawing blood where his nails dug into Seonghwa’s skin, and something in his mind finally clicked as he realized what was going on here.

This forest - Seonghwa was sure that the two of them were in hypnotist territory. Beyond that, the “he” that the humans had referred to earlier must have been someone within the Hypnotist Coven, someone operating outside of regulations. 

Every part of this had been planned. Those humans had brought Seonghwa here, while the hypnotist vampire had taken advantage of Wooyoung, for it must have been his turn to watch over Seonghwa. While Seonghwa had been fighting for his life, Wooyoung had been used for another purpose, and only now did he understand what that purpose was.

Wooyoung was under hypnosis. A hypnotist vampire had used their power on him, to force him to do their bidding. That was why Wooyoung wasn’t speaking, why he was destroying his own face, why he appeared to be caught up in some kind of internal struggle. He was trying to fight against it, to protect Seonghwa from himself, but he was losing the battle. 

All of this clicked in Seonghwa’s mind at once, and only then did he feel the tension bleed from his muscles again, his expression softening as his lips curved into a kind smile. “I understand now,” he murmured, the tears still streaming over his skin, now silently. “You can’t control your own body. You’re - you’re trapped, and you’re trying to stop this from happening, but you can’t.” 

Something wet splashed against Seonghwa’s cheek, and he assumed at first that Wooyoung was bleeding again, but he realized when another tear fell that this time he was crying. A lump lodged in Seonghwa’s throat, and he swallowed hard, trying to keep himself together for the sake of this boy who had already been through so much. 

“It’s okay,” he breathed, staring up at Wooyoung, trying to keep the smile on his face in hopes that when the hypnosis wore off, he would remember that Seonghwa wasn’t mad. “It’s not your fault. You tried your best, angel. I’m so sorry that this happened to you.” 

The fingers gripping Soenghwa’s shoulders tightened, and he winced as a result, biting back a whimper of pain. “You’re going to kill me,” he said, because he didn’t see any other way for this to end. “But this isn’t really you. I know that, angel. I promise you that I know. Please, just - just remember that. I’ll love you still, even after I’m gone.” 

Wooyoung tears fell faster, and Seonghwa’s lips started to tremble. The grip on his shoulders tightened even further, and then their eye contact was broken as Wooyoung dipped his head, aiming directly for Seonghwa’s neck. 

Although he could have fought back, could have used his weapons, Seonghwa didn’t. He tipped his head up, baring his neck, because he saw no use in making this harder than it needed to be. This would haunt Wooyoung for the rest of his life, and the memory would be worse for him if Seonghwa struggled, if he screamed and thrashed and tried to get away. If he died peacefully, then… then maybe it wouldn’t hurt Wooyoung as badly when he came out of this hypnosis. 

When his fangs entered Seonghwa’s neck, he possessed none of the gentle grace that had always accompanied Hongjoong’s feedings. Rather, Seonghwa was reminded of that day all those months ago, when Wooyoung had lost control and torn into Seonghwa’s neck. This was much the same, and pain lanced through Seonghwa’s nerves as his fangs ripped deep into the flesh, hot blood soaking the area immediately. 

No one was here to pull him off this time. No one was here to save Seonghwa, to clean away the blood and patch up his wounds and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Because this time, it wasn’t going to be okay. None of this would ever be okay, because Wooyoung would never smile again after this. He would never heal, and the sun would never shine quite as bright, either. 

Even with the knife in his pocket and the ring on his finger, Seonghwa couldn’t use his weapons, not against Wooyoung. If this had been any other vampire, he wouldn’t have hesitated to drive the blade through their heart. But even in the face of his own death, he couldn't do that to Wooyoung. He couldn’t bear to kill the boy whom he had fought so hard to save. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, even as the pain left him breathless, the blood soaking the dirt around them. He was losing an alarming amount of blood already, and he wasn’t going to last much longer. These would be his final words, then, and he wanted to use them right. “I love you, Wooyoung. I love you so much.” 

He forced the weak muscles in his arms to move, wrapping them around Wooyoung’s waist, even as the vampire sucked the blood from Seonghwa’s neck with brutal force. Seonghwa was reminded of those days in the past when the two of them had been unable to hug, unable to touch at all. He hoped that if he hugged Wooyoung now, he would remember the feeling. The warmth. 

Tears streamed down Seonghwa’s face silently, his consciousness starting to fade away now, the edges of his vision becoming hazy. He was losing a dangerous amount of blood, he could feel it, but it didn’t matter anymore. At least when he was dead, the pain would stop. Right now, he just wanted the pain to stop. 

He tried to open his mouth to tell Wooyoung again that he loved him, but blood spilled out from between his lips instead, hot and foaming with saliva. Something vital had been severed, then. He didn’t stand a chance. 

Wooyoung finished drinking a moment later, and he pulled back, blood dripping from his fangs. He licked it, savoring those few drops before ducking his head back down, and this time Seonghwa couldn’t keep his fear at bay when those same fangs started to rip through his throat with killing intent. His necklace fell to the soil a moment later, ripped apart by the animalistic power behind Wooyoung’s movements. Whoever had hypnotized him hadn’t drawn the line at feeding alone - they wanted Seonghwa to face a brutal, traumatic death, rather than a peaceful one. 

The sounds of snapping tendons and muscle filled Seonghwa’s ears, the blood misting in the air and pooling around him, such copious amounts of it that he almost couldn’t believe all of that blood had been held inside of his body. Wooyoung’s fangs ruptured his esophagus, scraping against the vertebrae that held Seonghwa’s head to the rest of his body, all in one quick movement. 

Life teetered on the edge of a precipice for just a moment, before death won the battle. For one last moment, Seonghwa squeezed his arms weakly around Wooyoung, tears streaming down his cheeks. Breath whistled out from the gaping hole in his throat, his heart pumping blood uselessly as it all pooled around him. His throat filled with blood, and he choked on it now, his body jerking violently. 

He didn’t want Wooyoung to remember any of this, but as his consciousness slipped away, Seonghwa couldn’t protect him from the reality of his own death anymore. His arms fell limp as his body began to seize, his vision going black and staying that way, awful choking sounds filling the forest around them. 

Seonghwa actually felt his heart weakening, the blood from his vessels pumping right out onto the dirt. For the second time in his life, he was overcome by the feeling of being absolutely drenched in blood from head to toe, but this time he was going to die. He would have no future after this, almost as if life had tried to kill him when he was two years old but had failed, and now fate was evening the score. 

He finally lost consciousness, his chest stilling as his heart stopped, his head more than halfway severed from the rest of his body. Blood and gore were strewn all over the grass and soil around him, splattering the trunks of the closest trees. Not a single animal remained in the immediate vicinity, for survival instincts had guided them away from the site of an attack. 

The vampire on top of him finally rose back to his feet, stalking through the forest as if nothing had happened at all, entirely drenched in blood as well. Only his cheeks were clean, courtesy of his steadily flowing tears, the only indication that something was not right within him.

On the ground of one of the four patches of forest in Seoul, covered in wounds and drowning in his own blood, Park Seonghwa died. 

But he did not stay dead. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #1: All vampires must be documented via the vampire registry. Any and all undocumented vampires will be executed without trial along with the sire. Each region has a set quota of vampires permitted to exist within its bounds; this number may never be exceeded. 

~

For one hour, Seonghwa remained dead. His heart ceased to beat, and his brain died as a result, his organs failing one by one until no chance of life remained. He did not move at all, not even when the first inquisitive insect crawled right over his skin, assuming his cooling flesh to be part of the forest ecosystem. 

Lips slightly parted in death, Seonghwa did not inhale or exhale, and his chest did not rise or fall. His uninjured eye remained half-lidded, his iris dull and void of life. In place of the other eye nothing but a torn socket remained, with the deflated globe of the destroyed eye still held inside, drained of all fluid. The blood that coated his skin began to dry in that time, forming a thick, crusted layer over each of his limbs. 

Along his neck, the brutal gash torn through his flesh by the fangs of a friend hung open wide, gore and bone exposed to the elements. The fangs had sliced all the way to the vertebrae along the neck, although the bones were still largely intact. However, many muscles and ligaments had been torn to shreds, utterly destroyed. 

The edges of his skin were not cut clean - rather, he appeared much like the victim of a brutal animal attack. He was covered in scratches from head to toe, and several of his bones were cracked and broken. His right kneecap was shattered to a pulp, dark purple and bent at an unnatural angle even in death. 

For one hour, Seonghwa’s body remained on the forest floor. Crickets chirped from within the trees, and owls hooted as they hunted for prey in the night, but no one came to retrieve his body. His only friends were located on the other side of the city, and even as a dazed vampire arrived back home and blurted out Seonghwa’s location before falling unconscious as a result of his prolonged hypnosis, his dead body was still a city away. Even for the members of the Immortalist Coven, that distance was too great to cross in such a short span of time. 

When Seonghwa’s uninjured eye snapped fully open, he was alone. 

His body was completely still, although his flesh was still home to some residual warmth, not entirely cold in death yet. No breath passed through his lips, but still, his eyelid had opened all the way. He stared up at the trees overhead, their branches silhouetted by the moon. 

As he watched, a breeze carried through the branches, knocking a few leaves loose as the rest swayed gently. And yet, he felt no chill at all, even amidst the late hour. All he felt was the hollow emptiness within his own chest, and a painful, gnawing hunger in the pit of his stomach. 

The hunger overcame everything else; his body was numb to the pain from all of his injuries, because the hunger was all he could feel. This wasn’t the kind of hunger he was used to, however - this wasn’t starvation from lack of food, or dehydration, or nutrient deficits. 

Deep inside of his mind, in the distant place where his consciousness currently resided, he understood that he was hungry for blood. 

Unable to focus on anything else, Seonghwa continued to stare up at the moon as one finger twitched, and then the next, until his stiffening muscles and tendons awakened after death. He moved his toes, and then he began to shift his arms, forcing himself into a seated position. He was covered in his own blood, but it was all dry - he needed to source it from somewhere else. 

Someone else.

As soon as he lifted his head from the soil, it lolled to the side dangerously, the split flesh along his neck hanging open. The wound didn’t continue to bleed, but the skin didn’t magically patch together either, a fact that Seonghwa would have found odd if he was in any mindset to consider such things. None of it mattered to him right now, however, so he dealt with the awkward orientation of his head as he continued to drag himself upright, using the nearest tree for support. 

His shattered knee still couldn’t bear any weight, but the pain was so dulled now that it didn’t matter - Seonghwa forced himself along anyway, his right leg dragging behind him, his gait skewed by a severe limp. Saliva pooled under his tongue, accumulating behind the seam of his lips, and when he finally opened his mouth to let the saliva pour down over his chin, he noticed the long fangs that had replaced his canine teeth. 

They felt odd in his mouth, and even when he tried to swallow his saliva, he couldn’t do it because of the damage to his neck. His esophagus had been torn open, his major blood vessels severed and his ability to breathe and swallow hindered, although these were no longer vital processes for his undead body. 

As a reflex, his body still attempted to breathe, but the air merely whistled out from the large wound. His stamina was far greater than it had been prior to his death, and he continued to drag himself through the forest, leaning on tree trunks as he passed them by, following the internal compass of his hunger. 

He needed blood. He needed to drink from a human, and the city would be full of unsuspecting victims. All he needed to do was find his way there, and the hunger would finally go away. 

The hunger was endless, so severe that it blotted out the sounds of the night around him. At the back of his mind, vague thoughts attempted to form, but the hunger broke them all apart before he could make any sense of his surroundings, of why he was here, of what had happened to him. 

Blood. He needed blood. 

When two voices came within earshot, Seonghwa didn’t even notice them, numb to anything that wasn’t his crippling hunger. He continued to stumble between trees, tripping over roots and trampling branches underfoot, taking no care to be quiet. The voices drew closer, but still he didn’t hear a thing. 

“Seonghwa! Fuck, Seonghwa, are you alright? What the hell happened? Wooyoung, he - he came home drenched in blood, and all he said was that you were here in the forest, and Hongjoong sent me in case you were hurt-” The voice cut off abruptly, and still Seonghwa didn’t even turn in the direction of the person speaking, continuing to stumble his way forward. Somehow, his body knew that these two people weren’t worth his time. Their blood couldn’t satisfy his hunger. 

“Yunho… his - his neck,” the other voice said in a hushed tone, his horror audible. Seonghwa heard every word they said, he understood it all, but none of it mattered to him. Nothing mattered, only the blood that his body so desperately craved. 

He continued to lumber through the trees, until suddenly he couldn’t move anymore. A hand had closed around his wrist, and he whirled around, his fangs bared in a vicious snarl. No sound accompanied the action, however; more air whistled through his neck instead. 

Two vampires were staring back at him, both of them with wide eyes and slackened jaws, frozen in place. Seonghwa’s perspective was skewed due to the current orientation of his head, dangling at a 45 degree angle to the rest of his body, but he still knew that these people were familiar. He didn’t know how, his brain couldn’t comprehend that through the hunger, but he recognized them. 

The one holding his wrist was wearing a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. “Seonghwa, can you hear me?” he asked, keeping his voice soft. He didn’t have fangs, Seonghwa noticed as he spoke, but somehow he still knew this man was a vampire. His eyes were full of tears, and when he blinked, they rolled down his cheeks. “You’re - you’re okay. I know you don’t understand any of this, but we’re here now-” 

Seonghwa pulled his hand out of the man’s grasp, turning around and continuing to move towards the city, completely unconcerned with the two vampires behind him. More muttering sounded from over his shoulder, and then the hand returned, this time more than one. 

Both men gripped his arms, pulling him back even as he struggled, snarling and making that same sickening whistling sound. “I’m sorry,” the man with the glasses said, tears streaming down his cheeks. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. Mingi, we need to get him home. We’ll have to force him - he’s not going to come with us on his own.” 

“Is he still in there?” the second vampire asked, his eyes wide and innocent in a way that the first vampire’s weren’t. “His neck, Yunho. His neck. How… how is he-” 

“I don’t know, okay!” The words burst out of the first man’s lips, lined with an edge of fear. “But we need to get him home! If he doesn’t drink soon, he’s going to lose himself. We just have to get him to the car, okay?” 

Despite Seonghwa’s continued struggle to free himself from their hold, he stood little chance against two vampires, especially given his injuries. He thrashed and pulled, but even when he sunk his fangs into the forearm of the one with glasses, he achieved nothing. The wound healed in an instant, and the blood did nothing to satisfy his hunger, because he wasn’t human. 

They started to drag him through the woods, not in the way that he wanted to go, and they continued to speak to him all the while. In spite of their best attempts to keep their voices calm, the undercurrent of panic was impossible to miss, not that it mattered to Seonghwa in this state anyway. They kept up a steady stream of reassurances; mostly the man with the glasses, as the other one seemed to be spooked, not saying much of anything. 

“We’re going to find out what happened to you,” the man with the glasses murmured, the strength of his grip directly contradicting the kindness in his words. “And we’re going to get you some blood to drink, I promise. I know the hunger is unbearable right now. I know it hurts, and you can’t think about anything else, but that feeling won’t last forever. Just let us bring you home - we have everything you need there. I promise. Fuck, I - I promise, okay?” 

His voice started to waver towards the end, the tears still dripping from the ledge of his jaw. The other vampire was crying as well, although his sobs were audible, soft and choked. Seonghwa didn’t understand why they were crying. In truth, he didn’t care. The words rolled right off of his shoulders, and he continued to struggle, even as the second vampire’s crying grew louder. 

“He’s fighting us, Yunho. This feels wrong, I d-don’t know, I - this isn’t what it was supposed to be like. He was supposed to choose to come back to us! What the fuck is this, I don’t understand, I don’t, I just - I don’t-” 

“I know, baby. I know. But we have to do this for him. It’s just like when I saved you, all those years ago. He’ll be himself again once we can satiate his hunger. I promise.” 

After another few minutes, they reached a car that had been pulled sloppily onto the grass at the edge of the forest, and Seonghwa was forced into the backseat. The vampire with the glasses joined him, while the other one started the car and pulled onto the road. Seonghwa processed all of this from a distant place, trying to open the door, but it was locked. 

“We’ll be there soon,” the driver said, his fingers gripped so tight around the wheel that the skin appeared to strain over his knuckles, the white of his bone visible. “Almost there. Almost.” 

Seonghwa scrabbled at the walls of the car, slamming his shoulder repeatedly into the window in an attempt to break the glass, until the man seated beside him wrapped his arms around Seonghwa’s abdomen, holding his arms in place and restricting his ability to move. “I’m sorry,” he murmured as Seonghwa thrashed in his arms, voice choked. “I’m so sorry.”

Due to the wide chunk of flesh missing from his neck, Seonghwa’s head dangled back far enough to rest on the shoulder of the man in glasses, even as he struggled to get away. “We’re going to find out what happened to you. I promise. We’re going to help you. You’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” The vampire repeated those words again and again, and they sparked a vague feeling of warmth in the back of Seonghwa’s mind, the part of himself entirely repressed by his current overwhelming hunger. 

As the ride continued, the hunger grew to new levels, consuming every part of Seonghwa’s body. His desperation increased as a result, and he felt his coordination begin to falter. From the moment he had regained consciousness after death, his control over himself had been negligible, but it worsened with time. Just as the car came to a stop, he attempted to bite the wrist of the vampire beside him again, still unsatisfied by his undead blood. 

“We’re here. Mingi, you get out first and help me bring him inside,” The man with the glasses instructed, and the other vampire followed his words, getting out of the car and opening the door directly beside Seonghwa. When he lunged forward, desperate to escape, both men grasped his arms in a firm hold, leaving the car behind as they practically dragged him forward to the house looming up ahead.

The house itself was familiar, Seonghwa was able to recognize that even in his current state, in the same way that he distantly recognized the vampires who were now manhandling him up the stairs to the front door. The one with the glasses raised his fist to knock, but the door opened before he could even make contact, a third man coming into view. 

This man was shorter than the other two, and Seonghwa’s heart ached at the sight of him, even if he didn’t understand why. His skin was ghastly pale, and his fangs were long and wicked sharp as he opened his mouth, his eyes fixated on Seonghwa. “Bring him inside, and lock the door behind you. Now.” His eyes were lined with tears as well, and he kept staring at Seonghwa’s neck, his horror impossible to overlook. Despite his firm exterior, he was visibly shaken by the sight of Seonghwa, his fingers trembling against the door handle for a second before he moved further inside. 

Seonghwa was pulled inside, dragged further into the house, and even his best attempts at escape were unsuccessful. He tried to scream, to snarl and snap at the people doing this to him, but with the gaping hole in his neck he couldn't even manage to do that. 

His hunger was even more painful now, and he hunched forward when a blaze of pain ripped through his stomach, his good knee buckling. He would have fallen to the floor if it weren’t for the two vampires holding him up, expressions panicked. The shorter vampire had disappeared momentarily, but he returned a second later with several bags in his hands, full of dark crimson liquid. 

Blood. Human blood. 

This time when Seonghwa lunged forward, no one stopped him. He snatched the blood bags from the vampire’s hands, falling to the wooden floor immediately, his injured knee crumbing beneath him. None of the pain registered, not when he was so desperate to satiate his hunger, ripping the first bag open with his teeth and using his fangs to suck out the contents. 

The first taste of blood sent a wave of relief crashing through his body, and he waited for his hunger to abate, but nothing happened. His stomach was still alight with pain, and he didn’t realize until he felt thick liquid pouring down his chest that all of the blood had leaked right out of the gruesome wound in his throat. 

He growled in frustration, trying to drink more of the blood, but it all escaped through his wound, none of it reaching his stomach. The vampires around him began to speak again, but Seonghwa was only concerned with his current predicament, trying again to satisfy his hunger to meet the same result. 

A pair of delicate hands wrapped around Seonghwa’s neck, supporting his head to sit at a normal angle to the rest of his body, palms covering the hole in his throat. Seonghwa didn’t even care about the touch - he didn’t care about anything but the blood, and this time when he tried to drink again, only about half of the total volume spilled from between the fingers of the hands that blocked his wound. 

“Drink,” the vampire holding his neck commanded, his voice coming from right behind Seonghwa, a unique accent curling his words. His hands were firm around Seonghwa’s neck, and as Seonghwa continued to suck down the rest of the blood in the first bag, his hunger-induced pains finally started to lessen. 

After draining the first bag of every last drop of blood, he moved onto the next, sinking his teeth through the plastic and sucking out the blood as fast as his fangs were capable. The fangs still felt strange in his mouth, but his ability to use them was innate, for he had no difficulty feeding himself now that some of the blood was making it past his neck and into his stomach.

He finished the second bag more quickly, and he moved onto a third. All of his movements were automatic, his hunger taking control now that he had access to the blood he had been searching for. He drained a third bag, and then a fourth, and then a fifth. His hunger seemed to have no end, his mind clouded by a thick fog, clear of all thought. In this state, he was hardly a conscious being at all; he was driven only by instinct. 

After the eighth bag, the vampire with the glasses ran to retrieve more, and Seonghwa continued to tear through them, still unsatisfied. Before his death, he had lost a significant portion of his body’s total blood volume, and now he was desperate to replenish all of the pints of blood that had poured right out of him. 

The entire duration of time he spent feeding seemed to last only a matter of seconds, and when he finally started to slow down, some of the fog clouding his mind retreated. He blinked, looking down at the deflated blood bag in his hands as he sucked it dry, letting it fall from his fingers. His skin felt entirely numb, and all he could do at first was stare, not reaching for another blood bag. 

His hunger was finally gone, and that left everything else that had been hidden beneath it. 

“Seonghwa?” His name was spoken gently, in a tone that held so many conflicting emotions that it drove a stake right through Seonghwa’s heart. He startled at the sudden sound, biting right through his own tongue, his fangs piercing the muscle. Blood spilled from his lips, but that hardly made a difference when he was already covered in it. 

Blinking, Seonghwa looked down at himself, frowning as the hands around his neck retreated and his head lolled unnaturally to the side as a result. His clothes were rust colored, torn to shreds and stiff with dried blood except for the stretch of fabric over his chest, which was covered in the fresh blood that had dribbled out from his neck. Scratches covered his skin beneath the tears in his clothing, and not a single part of him was clean. Not a single part was unhurt. 

A choking sound filled the air, and he didn’t realize at first that it was coming from his own throat, his vision blurring with the burn of tears. He raised his shaking hands to touch his neck, and his jaw started to tremble when all he could feel was the tattered flesh at the edges of a gaping wound, sticky gore held inside. His index finger brushed over something hard, probably bone or cartilage or something of the like, and he would have whimpered at the feeling if he was capable of making a sound. 

Instead, the whimper whistled right through the wound, wet and sickening to his own ears. Seonghwa violently jerked his hands away from his neck, looking down at his palms to find his skin slicked with blood, shining in the overhead lighting. His ears were ringing, and he couldn’t breathe. Not that he needed to breathe anymore, anyway, but the panic was so oppressive that he couldn’t focus on anything else, choking on the torn tissues of his destroyed throat as his mind finally cleared. 

Fangs, ripping into his skin. Pain, worse than he had ever imagined. Fear, the kind of fear that only came from impending death, traumatic and suffocating. 

Blood. So, so much blood. Blood everywhere, covering his skin, filling his throat, bubbling from his lips. 

With a horrific, unnatural gasp, Seonghwa began to pull himself backwards, finally recalling that he wasn’t alone. He knew the vampires around him, he was able to place their names now, to recall everything about each of them, but that still didn’t quell his fear. 

He dragged himself away from them until he couldn’t go any farther, his spine pressing against the wall, his neck hanging at that unnatural angle. How could his head be halfway severed from his body, and yet he was still conscious, still able to move and blink and hyperventilate? Even as a vampire, how could he possibly exist like this? Everything about it was wrong, and the more he thought about it the worse his panic became, the nauseating sounds of his breath only escalating the feeling. 

“Seonghwa, can you hear me? Please, you - you are safe now, okay? Nothing else is going to happen to you. I promise, you’re safe.” Seonghwa dared to look at the source of the voice, and his eye fell upon Hongjoong’s face for the first time since he had left of his own accord. 

How ironic, that all he had wanted just a week ago was to become what he was now - a vampire. Never had he envisioned any of this; the blood, the pain, the terror. He would rather have remained human all his life than have to live like this. 

The mere thought made his pain flare, and he choked again as he clutched at his neck, tears streaming down his cheeks. His body was shuddering with such force that he couldn’t hold himself up, and he slumped back against the wall, trying to make himself as small as possible, wishing that he had died in the forest. 

He was supposed to have died there - why had he come back to life? This was all he had wanted such a short time ago, but… not like this. 

Never like this. 

Seonghwa had always been terrified of blood, and now he was covered in it. Now he would have to drink it, in order to survive. Flashes of blood soaked fangs kept disrupting his thoughts, and now he had fangs of his own inside of his mouth. He didn’t know if he would ever be able to let go of the fear he felt as he looked at the three vampires in the room with him, and yet now he was one. 

“I know you are scared,” Hongjoong continued, and he was purposely speaking with minimal movement of his lips, keeping his fangs hidden. “I know you are in pain, and terrified, and wishing that this had never happened to you. I wish that too, darling. But we are going to handle this, okay? You are going to heal, and you are going to be okay.” 

But Seonghwa didn’t believe a single word of it, shaking his head unsteadily, struggling due to his massive neck wound. He tried to speak, but he was met with that same wet whistling sound. He couldn't even talk - how was he ever supposed to get better? How could anything ever be okay again? 

“I’m going to figure out how to heal your wounds. I promise - I’ll fix your neck. We - we don’t know what exactly happened yet, but we’ll figure it out. Vampire wounds still heal, the process is just a bit different than it is for humans. But you will heal, Seonghwa. Everything will be okay.” Yunho offered a tremulous smile, and although the certainty in his words was evident, Seonghwa still couldn’t bring himself to believe it. 

Breaths tore from his throat as his panic continued to escalate, unable to calm down like this, not with these vampires in front of him. He knew that he had always trusted them, that he loved them, but right now it didn’t matter. He couldn’t even look at them without feeling nauseous, and if he were still a human his heart would have been racing. 

But instead, his chest was still, and he couldn’t get past that feeling. He should be dead. The fact that he was even panicking at all should have been impossible, because he should have died out there in the forest. And technically he did, but he had never chosen to come back. He never would have chosen to come back like this. 

A strangled whimper escaped his lips, warped and airy, his entire body tense. His teeth chattered violently, his fangs cutting into his bottom lip, and a memory flashed to the surface of his mind for just a moment. Wooyoung’s chin drenched in blood, his bottom lip split all the way down to his jaw, a river of blood pouring from the wound. 

That blood had poured all over Seonghwa’s face, entering his mouth, his nose, seeping beneath his eyelids and pooling in his damaged socket. He had ingested Wooyoung’s blood before he had died, a seemingly insignificant detail that hadn’t mattered to him at the time, not amidst all of the pain, the terror. 

However, that small detail was the reason why he had come back to life, the reason why he was now cowering against the wall, shaking like a leaf in the wind. 

“H-Hey, Seonghwa.” Seonghwa looked at Mingi, taking note of the tears streaking his cheeks, the pallor of his skin bordering on sickly. “It’s scary, isn’t it? I know exactly how you feel - the way that I was turned was really scary, too. But you see how I am now, don’t you? Back then, I assumed I would be scared for the rest of my immortal life, but that wound up not being true. And it won’t be true for you, either.” 

He offered a smile then, and Seonghwa froze, his mind going blank. All he could see were the fangs poking out from behind Mingi’s lips, wicked sharp and glinting in the light. In one single instant, he was transported back to that forest, with Wooyoung’s weight settled over him as those fangs ripped into his skin again and again, violent and painful and terrifying. 

With hands scrabbling up to his neck, he covered his wound as if to protect himself from further injury, quivering as he curled into a ball, searing pain shooting through his broken body as he moved. Everything hurt, but nothing was worse than the pain that existed in his mind, the agony of his own memories. Tears ran down his cheeks, burning his wounded eye, and even those were ice cold. No warmth was left in the world; not for Seonghwa to feel, at least. 

He drew no comfort from his own cold hands, from his own still chest. Even as he panicked, even as his breaths turned into hitching gasps, he would never pass out since he didn’t require air in the first place. He was trapped in this hell forever. 

“-hwa! Seonghwa, it’s okay,” Hongjoong tried to soothe, but Seonghwa barely heard him, shaking his head as he squeezed his good eye shut, cartilage and tissues and sticky blood pressed against his hands as he covered his neck. 

The sound of someone shifting made him snap his eye back open, and when he saw that Hongjoong had moved forward, he stopped breathing entirely as a horrific choking sound echoed through the shredded skin of his neck. 

He needed to get away. Before anyone could hurt him again, before anyone could touch him or come near him or speak to him again. He needed to be alone. That was the only way he might be able to lessen his pain, even just slightly. 

With silent sounds of pain, he forced himself to his feet, relying heavily on his good leg as he darted for the stairs, his movements sloppy and his nerves screaming. Voices followed his movements, and he forced himself to go faster, before anyone tried to help him, to touch him. He didn’t want any of these vampires to touch him. 

Moving on autopilot, he headed straight for his old room, closing and locking the door behind him before collapsing to the ground in an ungraceful heap. All he could do then was burn at the stake of his own pain, entirely consumed by it, numb to everything else. He didn’t hear the voices outside of his door, the footsteps on the stairs, in the hallway. 

Tears continued to stream down his cheeks, but he had no effort left to try to make a sound, not when his wound made it impossible. His cheek rested against the hardwood floor, his body crumpled and his limbs arranged at awkward angles, particularly his injured leg. 

For a while, he didn’t think of anything at all. The pain beckoned, and he let it wash over him, welcoming the distraction. He stared at the wall without seeing a thing, surrounded by his room exactly as he had left it, not a single item touched in case he ever decided to come home. 

But now he was here, and everything was wrong. 

Time meant nothing to him as he lay there on the floor. He could have been there for hours, for days, for weeks. All he did was lie there, his form entirely lifeless, for he had no reason to move. If he chose to stay here like this forever, wouldn’t that be the same as if he had died in the forest? 

Something niggled at his mind, an answer to his question. He couldn’t stay here on the floor forever, because his body would inevitably crave blood again in the future, despite his aversion to it. 

Pressing his lips together tight, Seonghwa finally moved his arms, raising his palms to hover a few inches in front of his face. Immediately, he was gripped by nausea all over again, for his hands were still caked in dried blood. The lines along his palms were filled with it, dried flakes caught between his fingers, crusting over his knuckles and around his wrists. 

Disgust sat heavy at the base of his throat, and he started to scratch at his hands, desperate to get rid of the blood. He needed it off of his skin, he needed that so badly that it was all he could think about. 

He scraped at his hands, his wrists, his forearms, dried blood flaking down onto the floor and filling the space underneath his nails. Skin crawling, he pulled off his tattered shirt, trying to clear the blood away from his abdomen as well, although the task was almost impossible when he was covered in so many scratches. 

A frustrated cry tried to escape, but again he couldn’t make a sound, which only added to his frustrations. He was still positioned right by the door, for he hadn’t managed to make it any farther, and in a fit of panicked anger he slammed his fist right into the door. The pain didn’t register, and so he did it again, and again. 

He didn’t know to exist inside of this wounded and blood coated skin. He didn’t know how to handle the truth of what had happened to him, the uncertainty of the future. In his mind, he would never recover from this. He would never get better, and that terrified him worse than anything else. 

With his teeth gritted together, he slammed his own head into the door next, his forehead cracking against the hardwood. Strained breaths escaped him, and he allowed his head to rest against the door as the tears returned, digging his nails into his scalp as he pulled at his hair. 

“Seonghwa?” His name was muffled, spoken by someone on the other side of the door, out in the hallway. Still drowning in his own frustration, Seonghwa ignored the voice, although he couldn’t have answered anyway. 

He tried to keep his lips closed, desperate to hold in the sobs that wanted to escape, but he could only be so strong after all that he had suffered through in such a short time. A silent cry tumbled from his lips, and when the voice spoke again, he listened. 

“Seonghwa… baby, I am still here. I will not come in, not without your permission, but I will not leave you alone either. I know you do not like to be alone,” Hongjoong murmured, and Seonghwa could only cry harder at the sound of his voice, so tender, so kind. But nothing between them would ever be the same, not when Seonghwa couldn’t even look at a vampire without having a panic attack. 

Silence lingered for a moment, and then Hongjoong continued, every word making Seonghwa’s chest ache. “I left you a tub of water outside of your door, along with a sponge and some soap. I know you likely do not want to come out of your room to use the sink in the bathroom, which I understand, but I also know that you are suffering with all of that blood on you. In case you want to clean it off, you can use the water I left for you. Maybe you can clean your wounds as well; I think that may be a good idea. Does that sound okay?” 

For a moment, Seonghwa’s frustration swelled at the last question, for he had no means of providing a response. “Do you still remember our code, darling? When you would squeeze my hand?” 

Seonghwa sucked in a breath at the reminder, looking down at his bloodied hands. One squeeze meant that he was feeling okay, two meant he was afraid, and three was a message to Hongjoong to get him somewhere safe, somewhere quiet. “We can still use that code, for now. Knock on the door once if you want me to leave briefly so you can retrieve the water, twice if you do not want to retrieve it but still would like for me to stay, and three times if you want me to go and leave you alone for a while.” 

Staring at the wooden surface of the door, Seonghwa tentatively raised one of his hands and curled his fingers into a fist. He hesitated for a breath, and then he rapped his knuckles once against the door. 

“Okay, darling. I will go for a minute, so you can retrieve the water. After that, I will come back.” 

I will come back. Those words were the ones that Seonghwa clung to as he listened to Hongjoong’s retreating footsteps. He reached for the doorknob once he was sure that no one would be waiting for him on the other side, shifting his body out of the way as he pulled the door open. 

Sure enough, a tub of water sat on the floor right outside of his room, just as Hongjoong had described. A container of liquid unscented soap and a sponge rested beside it, and Seonghwa pulled all three items into his room swiftly before closing and locking the door again. 

At the simple sight of the water, some of the tension along his muscles eased. He reached for the sponge, gripping it in his hands for a moment before pouring a small amount of soap onto its surface, dipping the whole thing in the water. Holding his arms over the tub of water, he started to scrub at his skin, removing the dried blood with ease this time around. 

As he revealed the clean skin underneath, he sighed in relief, some of the panic retreating to the edges of his mind now. Once he was clean, at least he wouldn’t have to suffer with the feeling of being covered in blood, making it impossible for him to think straight. With a shuddering exhale, he cleaned every crevice of his hands, the crooks of his elbows, all the way up to his shoulders. 

The soap stung his wounds, but he welcomed the feeling, cleaning those as well. This was the first time since regaining awareness that he didn’t feel himself teetering on the verge of panic, and his intact eyelid hung heavy as he cleaned himself. He moved to cleaning his face next, avoiding his injured eye for the most part. 

When the sound of approaching footsteps came through the door, he paused for a moment, watching a shadow settle down outside of his door through the small gap underneath it. “Is the water okay?” Hongjoong asked, and he sounded more like himself now. His voice was still thick with worry, but he seemed to take Seonghwa’s acceptance of the water as a good sign.

Seonghwa knocked once against the door, the only kind of answer he could give in his current state. “Good. I’m glad.” The water splashed as Seonghwa loaded the sponge with soap once more and started to clean his chest and stomach, fixated on watching the blood disappear, the knot in his chest loosening with every clean stretch of skin he revealed. 

He cleaned his back to the best of his ability as well, and then he moved on to his legs, shucking off his pants to expose more skin. For a moment, he could only stare at his destroyed knee, panic breaking through the calm as he did so. His breathing started to pick up again, those sickening sounds emerging through the hole in his neck. 

“You have a lot of injuries, I know that you are seeing that now while you clean away the blood. I know that it is scary. I do not understand why - well, actually, I will save that conversation for another day. It does not matter right now, not as much as your safety does. But we live with the best vampire doctor there is, you know. Yunho is very familiar with treating all kinds of wounds. He will take care of your pain, I promise.” 

Seonghwa swallowed hard, blinking down at his knee before taking the sponge and resuming the cleaning, starting from the top and moving down. When he reached his knees, he cleaned the uninjured one before submerging the sponge in the water, waiting for it to become fully saturated. Only then did he pull it out again, holding the sponge over his shattered knee and squeezing it out, watching as water rained down on the wounded area and washed away some of the blood. 

He repeated that same action two more times, and he finally moved on to his shins and calves once he was satisfied. When he reached his ankles, he encountered another injury from the baseball bat, but this area was only tender. He didn’t think the bone was broken, or at least not shattered like his knee, so he was able to scrub the skin like normal without much additional pain. 

“I hope that cleaning yourself is making you feel a little better,” Hongjoong said through the door, and Seonghwa looked up at the sound of his voice, pausing in his cleaning for a moment. “I can also get you some bandages and things like that, if you decide you want them. You can always pass me a note under the door to tell me something, if the knocking is not enough.” 

With a soft sigh, Seonghwa continued cleaning, finishing up with his feet and returning the sponge to the water, watching all of the blood release. The water wasn’t clean any longer - it was red, so red that it was hardly transparent at all anymore, and he cringed at the sight of it, turning away. 

The only parts of himself that he hadn’t cleaned were his neck and the back of his head, for he wasn’t sure how to go about that without making his injuries worse. He would need to let Yunho look at his wounds eventually, he understood that, and for the first time he was actually grateful that Yunho had defanged himself. 

Disgust filled him a moment later, bitter and heavy, and he hated himself for thinking that at all. But it was true - if Yunho had fangs, Seonghwa would be far less inclined to see him, let alone to have his wounds treated by him. Without fangs, however, he couldn’t hurt Seonghwa like Wooyoung had, which provided him with some relief. 

At the thought of Wooyoung, Seonghwa stiffened. He had been avoiding all thoughts of the boy for obvious reasons, but now that he was all alone and the blood was gone he was able to think more clearly. 

Someone had hypnotized him, forcing him to hurt Seonghwa like this. Despite all of the fear that Seonghwa had felt while dying, while feeling his own life slip away, he had also known that Wooyoung was not to blame. As if that first attack all those months ago hadn’t been enough, the two of them had found themselves in that same situation again, this time with no one to intervene. 

Starting to feel nauseous again, Seonghwa dragged himself across the floor to reach his desk, opening one of the drawers to pull out a notepad and a pen. He hadn’t expected to take Hongjoong up on his idea to pass notes under the door for a while, but he needed to know that Wooyoung was okay, that he had made it home. 

With a trembling hand, he wrote down a simple question on the page before pulling it free and dragging himself back to the door to slide it underneath. He kept the notepad and pen with him, in case he wanted to say anything else. 

“Oh, a note. That is great, Seonghwa. Thank you.” Seonghwa ducked his head at the praise, anxiously waiting for Hongjoong to read the note, his stomach aching with the force of his worry. 

He listened to the sound of crinkling paper as Hongjoong unfolded the note, making a soft sound of understanding as he read Seonghwa’s messy, shaky handwriting. “‘Is Wooyoung okay?’ Seonghwa… you still worry for him even now, do you not?” 

With a soft sniffle, Seonghwa rapped his knuckles against the door once to give his answer. Hongjoong sighed, and Seonghwa could hear it through the door. “He is not awake. I will tell you what happened on our end, if you want to hear. But if it will scare you, then I will refrain.” 

Again, Seonghwa knocked once against the door, for he was desperate to piece together exactly what had happened now that he was able to think more clearly than before. 

“Okay, then I will tell you. Wooyoung was the one scheduled to watch over you tonight, and he was very eager. Even though he would not come close enough to speak to you, all he wanted was to see you. And since he is no longer a fledgling, I held no concern over his ability to go out alone, as he has come a long way. As you know,” Hongjoong started to explain, his words driving a piercing pain through Seonghwa’s chest. 

Wooyoung had been eager to take his shift, completely unaware of how the night would end. Pressing a hand to his chest, Seonghwa’s eyes burned with tears, this time not on behalf of himself and his own pain. “However, he returned to the coven house when it was still night, covered in the aftermath of the - of the attack. All he told us was your location, and he was crying. He said that he was sorry, and then he passed out, and… he has not woken up since.”

A brief silence followed his words, before he spoke again. “I have my suspicions as to what happened, but I will not force you to recount that for me. But I knew that look in his eyes, for I have seen it before. He was not himself. He did not choose to hurt you, I can say that with certainty. Wooyoung would rather hurt himself than hurt you.” 

Seonghwa blinked, and a tear dribbled down his cheek. He knew that, and that was the worst part of all this. When he was alone in his room like this, he knew that none of the vampires in this coven would hurt him. But when he actually looked at them, when he saw the fangs and the pale skin and everything that made each of them a vampire, his panic overtook all sense. 

He didn’t know if he would ever be able to look at Wooyoung the same way again, despite how badly he wished to. And that thought was more painful than any of his injuries. 

~

After a period of fading in and out of consciousness, Seonghwa blinked himself awake once more the following night. Through his window, the stars twinkled through the blanket of autumn leaves that covered the forest, and he shivered. Once he had found that sight so beautiful, but now it only reminded him of dying. 

Forcing himself to look away, he stared down at the floor, raising one of his hands to prod at the wound in his neck. All of his pain was slightly more manageable today, and he assumed that vampires felt pain differently, for no human would be alive in this state, let alone functioning at all. 

Even with the current condition of his neck, he was still able to function surprisingly well - he could see, and hear, and move with minimal pain. None of his wounds had healed, but at least he wasn’t trapped in an eternal pit of agony. In that case, treatment would likely be forced upon him, and the mere thought of that scared him.

Sounds from beneath him caught his attention, and he frowned as he shifted along the floor, hunching down to press his ear to the wooden floorboards. Sure enough, the faint sound of voices carried through the wood, and he closed his good eye as he listened, surprised at how easily he managed to pick up on the words. 

After all, he knew that Hongjoong wouldn’t tell him everything, not when he was in this state. Seonghwa didn’t blame him for that, but at the same time he wanted to know what the others were talking about, how it related to everything that had happened. So he listened in silence, absorbing all of the words that he could make out through the floor. 

“-not healing, at least not from what I can gather. You saw him when he got here - his wounds were awful. I think that he is locked in that room alone with his head just… hanging from his neck like that, and the thought of him being like that is enough to make me feel so - so sick, and out of control. I just want to fix him, to put him back together, and I don’t know how.”  

That voice belonged to Hongjoong, and he sounded so frustrated, completely different to how he sounded when he sat outside of Seonghwa’s door. “I have never seen a turning like that,” he continued, and his words made Seonghwa’s stomach turn. “And I have seen almost every violent turning that has taken place in the last few centuries. He is traumatized, and rightfully so. I mean, when I think about my own turning…  I suffered for decades. I do not want that for him.” 

“But you had no one back then,” Yunho interjected gently. “He has all of us to help him through it. He’s going to be okay, Hongjoong. You have to believe it, because he has to believe it. None of us can show any indication that we don’t believe that. Do you all understand me?” 

Several blended murmurs of assent followed his words, and Seonghwa gathered that all of the others were likely downstairs, aside from Wooyoung and probably San as well. Seonghwa’s heart ached at the mere thought of the two of them, and he closed his eye until the press of tears receded. 

“You are right,” Hongjoong conceded, but his voice was still hard with anger. “He is my top priority, which is the only reason why I have not left this house and murdered that entire coven in cold blood. In case he needs me, I need to be here. However, the moment that I can leave… I will eradicate all of the hypnotists on this continent next. I am not bluffing.” 

Seonghwa shivered, although he could no longer feel the cold. That voice did not belong to the Hongjoong that he knew, the Hongjoong that he had fallen in love with, and it scared him. 

His words were followed by a brief silence, until Jongho’s voice carried through the floor next. “And we will join you, if it comes to that. But there is still a lot of information that we don’t know. Wooyoung hasn’t even woken up yet, and we need to hear from him what happened.” 

“Also, Hongjoong… I know you’re upset, and I am too, but don’t forget how your council seat has benefited all of us,” Yeosang pointed out, his voice as soft as always. “Do not do anything rash. Seonghwa wouldn’t like it, you know that. Our coven is in the position to make those hypnotists pay without breaking the law - with one read of Seonghwa and Wooyoung’s memories, Saja will be able to condemn the ones behind this. If any of us knows the details of the specific restrictions on hypnotist powers, it would be you. You know they won’t get away with this. But if you do what you want to do, we’ll all be put up for execution, and none of that will matter. The world is not the same as it was when you slaughtered all of the immortalists in Asia.” 

A relieved sigh fell from Seonghwa’s lips as he listened to Yeosang’s words, incredibly grateful for him, for he had said everything that Seonghwa would have said himself if he were in the right frame of mind. Right now, he was in no position to think about anything of importance without panicking, but it came as a relief that a voice of reason still existed amongst the rest. 

“They are going to pay, that much is correct,” Hongjoong growled, and Seonghwa flinched at the sound. “I will make sure of that. I exist on the side of the law because it benefits all of us, yes, but I will not let anyone hurt him without consequence. All along, I have made that very clear, and still someone organized this. An attack against him is an attack against me, and the way it was done makes it even more despicable. They tried to kill him, and they used Wooyoung to do it. Hell, they probably intended for the narrative to condemn the rest of us as well.” 

“You’re right,” Yunho ceded, his voice soft. “But their plans did not fully pan out, we can already see that. I don’t believe that Seonghwa was meant to be turned; with him alive, he can speak for himself once he is ready. He has a voice of his own, and he can use it to defend himself in this. He is not helpless. With you on the council, every coven will have to listen. If we can keep this confined to our council, if we can keep the humans out of it… we can turn this around. I know we can, but you can’t be stupid. If all goes well, you will get your revenge as an executioner, not a murderer.” 

A large huff of air followed, like Hongjoong was attempting to exhale the rage out of his system. Whether or not it worked, Seonghwa didn’t know. He wished he could see their faces, but he was too afraid. Listening was the only way to truly know what they were thinking, for they would never say any of this to him. 

“I can’t believe that Wooyoung was used like that,” Mingi uttered after a long silence, and even without seeing his face Seonghwa could picture his expression. “He’s come so far, and this is going to set him back so much. It’s not his fault, not even the slightest bit, but he won’t see that. Especially after the first time he attacked Seonghwa…”

“He will not be able to forgive himself,” Hongjoong finished. “No matter what we tell him, it will not matter. And Seonghwa is… he cannot even bear to look at me, much less the one who attacked him. He should not ever have to face the one who caused him this pain, but it was not Wooyoung’s fault. He is as much of a victim in this as Seonghwa is.” 

Seonghwa agreed with that completely, his heart weighing heavy inside of his chest. He recalled that handwritten letter stained with tears, that meticulously cooked meal, the black feather that Wooyoung had handed to him when they had finally seen each other after the first time this had happened. 

But this time… it was different. Last time, once all of the blood was cleared away and the wound was bandaged, Seonghwa had been able to function as normal. He had always been able to rely on his own instincts, part of why he had survived for so long in such poor conditions, and he had known back then that Wooyoung had not been in control of himself. 

Now, he still knew that truth, but all sense vanished from his mind as soon as he was confronted with anything that reminded him of the forest, the fangs, the blood. He knew in his heart that Wooyoung hadn’t meant to hurt him, that all of these vampires just wanted to help him, but as soon as the door to his room opened he wouldn’t be able to cling to those truths. 

He squeezed his good eye shut, ignoring the pain from his other eye as the muscles in his face moved, so frustrated by the failures of his own mind. No matter what his heart knew to be true, his mind wasn’t in alignment with any of it. The only reason why he was able to think so clearly now was because he was alone, in a space where he felt comfortable. If the conditions were any different, he would revert right back to his panicked state from the night before. 

“The hypnotists behind this will pay for what they did to Wooyoung as well. It sucks to sit around here and do nothing, but we have two members of our coven who need exactly that. They need us here. Hell, San hasn’t come out of Wooyoung’s room once in case he wakes up. I’ve never seen him that angry before, and he was with us back then, before the regulations. If he can keep it together for Wooyoung’s sake, then the rest of us can do the same,” Yunho said, his words firm. 

When Hongjoong spoke again, some of the anger had left his voice, much to Seonghwa’s relief. He knew that none of it was directed at him, but he still hated to hear it. “You are right. I… I am sorry for my anger. I know that there is still a lot more to this story that we do not yet know, but what I already know is enough for me to want to kill every last one of them. But Seonghwa and Wooyoung need me - they need all of us.” 

“And we cannot make a scene now, either,” Jongho pointed out, always a voice of reason. “We cannot allow the rest of the council to catch wind of this, not until we speak to Wooyoung and know who is to blame. When we do bring this to the council, we need to have an airtight explanation, or as close to it as we can manage. Otherwise, both of them will be executed, we all know this. Seonghwa is undocumented, and Wooyoung is technically his sire, despite being a juvenile himself.” 

Silence followed his words, until someone sighed heavily. “This is so fucked up,” Mingi said, sniffling. “I mean, how could we let this happen? They’re the two of us who are the most vulnerable… we shouldn’t have let Wooyoung go on watch alone. We shouldn’t have ever let Seonghwa leave-” 

“There’s no use in thinking like that,” Yunho interrupted gently, and the sound of Mingi crying softly was impossible to ignore, each sob shooting straight through Seonghwa’s chest. “We cannot go back and fix this, so now we simply have to fix it from here. They will be okay.” 

“Something about this is still not right to me,” Hongjoong muttered. “He should have healed by now. He is an immortalist now, but I do not think he has healed at all.” 

“You don’t know if that’s true,” Yunho said, equally as calm, his experience as a doctor shining through as he comforted the others. His tone of voice even served to comfort Seonghwa, although he wasn’t the one being addressed. “You have not seen him, not since he went up to his room. The turning period is different for every vampire - given the severity of his wounds, it is not an outrageous idea that his healing has been delayed.” 

Seonghwa bit his lip, his anxiety growing as they talked about his injuries, for they hadn’t healed at all. They were still exactly the same as they had been when he first came back from the dead, and something about that wasn’t right. Not when he was an immortalist now. 

“I just cannot shake this feeling,” Hongjoong murmured, his voice more vulnerable now, all of the anger and frustration entirely gone. “That something is wrong, something beyond what is obvious.” 

“I think what you’re feeling is a normal reaction when the one you love has been so grievously hurt,” Yunho said gently. “This is bound to hurt you, even more than it hurts the rest of us. And that is okay, Hongjoong, but you can’t bottle it up. It’s okay to be upset about what happened. It’s normal. But if you only lean into your anger and repress everything else, then… you’ll never feel better, and you won’t be able to be there for Seonghwa in the way he needs you to be.” 

Sucking in a shaky breath, the press of tears burned Seonghwa’s wounded eye, his chest so tight that it almost hurt. For a while, not a word was said by any of the others, and he wondered briefly if they had dispersed until Hongjoong spoke again. 

“It was not supposed to happen like this,” he breathed, so softly that Seonghwa struggled to make out the words. “He was afraid to become a vampire because he did not want to suffer any more in this life. I wanted him to be turned safely. I wanted to be the one to do it. I wanted to be his sire, to show him how to adjust, to take care of him in the ways that only a sire can. All of this is - is wrong.” 

Seonghwa blinked, and twin tears rolled down his face, dripping down to the hardwood floor. Hongjoong was crying as well; Seonghwa could hear it in his voice, and that only served to make his words hurt worse. He was right, after all - this was never the way that it was supposed to happen. 

He had wanted to be a vampire, but not like this. 

A muffled sob came through the floor, and Seonghwa gripped his chest through his clothes, gritting his teeth as he tried not to let out his own cries. “I ruined his life,” Hongjoong cried, and despite his age he sounded so young, so hurt. “Nothing is worth the kind of pain that he will face now. Nothing. And there is nothing I can do to help him. I do not know how to fix this. I - I am at a loss, and I am scared that he will never recover from this. I am scared that he will suffer in the same way that I did for so long.” 

“Oh, Hongjoong,” murmured Yunho. “It is because of what you have also been through that you will be able to help him. You can understand him in ways that the rest of us can’t. Mingi, you too.” 

“You helped me, when I was turned,” Mingi reminded, although his words were difficult to understand from how hard he was crying. “I was traumatized, because I remembered dying, and I didn’t know that Yunho would save me until I came back to life. But Hongjoong, you made it easier for me to recover from that. You can do the same for him.” 

Hongjoong didn’t respond right away, the sounds of his sobs permeating the air instead, carrying right through the floor as Seonghwa cried along with him. “After I was turned, I was never the same,” he admitted, voice waterlogged and thick with strain. “He is the one person who has made me feel like I used to, back when I was human. I just… I do not want that for him. He does not deserve that. He does not deserve any of this. His life has already been so hard.” 

“And because of that, he is so strong,” Yeosang said, which only served to make Seonghwa’s tears flow faster. “He does not deserve to go through this, but if anyone can survive this, it’s him. As long as we make sure he knows that he is not alone, that he has the rest of us to lean on… then he will get through this. We will all get through this, as long as we are smart about it. We can’t bring him before the council until we know who did this to him, because that is the only way he can avoid execution. A life for a life.” 

Murmured agreements followed his words, and Seonghwa’s attention shifted after that as the group dispersed, their conversation over. He pushed himself up from his position laying on the floor, prodding at his neck wound again, trying to gauge if it had healed at all. The pain had lessened significantly, but it still felt mostly the same, although it was no longer actively bleeding. 

After a short while, footsteps approached his door again, and he knew they belonged to Hongjoong even before he spoke. “Hey,” he said, the shadows under the door shifting as he sat down. Seonghwa moved closer to the door, although not too close. He couldn’t respond, but Hongjoong already knew that. 

He seemed more absorbed in his thoughts than normal, which wasn’t a surprise considering the conversation Seonghwa had overheard. “I want to tell you something. Something that I really hate talking about, but also something that I think I need to talk about, because I have not been able to stop thinking about it. I do not want to think about it. But what happened to you has reminded me of it, and I cannot get it off my mind.” 

Seonghwa blinked, waiting patiently for him to continue, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. He had a feeling that this had to do with Hongjoong’s own turning, for he had never shared details about it, but he had said something in the past that still stuck in Seonghwa’s mind. 

I did not want it. 

I would rather have died.

Bitterness coated his tongue at the memory of those words, for he found that now he could relate to that sentiment more than he had ever hoped to. “If you want me to stop at any point, though, please tell me. I want you to know that I can relate to the difficulty of your turning in a sense, but I do not want to make you relive anything. I will not describe it in detail, but… I just want you to know.” 

Seonghwa reached out towards the door, knocking once against the surface to encourage Hongjoong to continue. “Okay,” he breathed, clearing his throat softly. “I told you about what happened to my family, how I started hunting immortalists after that. However, when I was twenty-five, I was captured by a small group of immortalists. Back then, covens were not mandated like they are now, but these four vampires existed as one unit.

“They captured me because I had killed their fifth member, and I would have hunted the rest of them next. They strung me up in chains in an abandoned house, so that I could not escape. I fought and fought, but it did not matter. My strength was nothing in comparison to theirs.” 

My strength was nothing in comparison to theirs. Seonghwa recalled both times that Wooyoung had pinned him down, tearing at his neck, and his throat started to constrict. 

“For about a year, they used me for my blood. Feeders were not regulated yet, and these vampires forced me to be theirs, drinking my blood whenever they pleased. For one human, having four vampires constantly draining your blood is not sustainable. I became sick, and they did not care. I was nothing but a husk of a person, a sack of bones, and still they continued to mistreat me. They beat me, they drank from me, they did terrible things to me. I will not describe all of that, but… in that year, I lost my will to live. That will had been teetering on the edge for a long time, but hunting vampires gave me a purpose. Once that was gone, I did not want to be alive at all.” 

A balloon of pain formed around Seonghwa’s heart, the ache expanding with every word that came from Hongjoong’s lips. He had not expected to hear all of this, and the strain in Hongjoong’s voice was audible, the pain that still lingered. 

“That is why I was so determined to be kind to you, because I know what it is like to be nothing but a source of blood. I never wanted a feeder for that reason, but I saw your scars, and they… they reminded me of the ones I used to have. I wore those scars for decades, and so much time has passed now that they have faded away, but I still recall how I hated them. How people used to look at me because of them. But I digress.” 

He inhaled a shaky breath before continuing. “I still had my knife with me, the one that is now yours. But I could not inflict any true damage upon the vampires, because my hands were chained, and they were immortalists. I managed to hurt them a few times, but I watched the wounds heal before my eyes. Only a blow to the heart would have killed them, and I did not have the strength nor the reach to achieve that.

“Instead, I used it on myself, when the will to die became too hard to ignore. I turned that blade to my own wrists.” Seonghwa’s eye widened in horror, his cheeks wet with tears. He had known that Hongjoong had been turned in a traumatic manner, but this… he had never imagined this. “And those vampires… they did not let me die, because they knew it was what I wanted. When I had already lost a significant amount of blood, they found me and fed me their blood. They made me a vampire, because I wanted to die and they would not let me. In order to guarantee my suffering would last, they made me a vampire, the thing I hated most in the world.” 

He was crying now - Seonghwa could hear it, even when he tried to hide it. “When I came back to life, all of my wounds were healed, but the scars remained. Both the scars from when I was human, and the ones from my turning. That is the thing about immortalists; we heal quickly, but we still scar. I always keep them covered, but the scars on my wrists are still there, albeit fainter now than before.

“Initially, the vampires kept me there, to force me through the beginning of the fledgling stage. If I had been on my own, I would have simply chained myself up somewhere in the forest and let myself starve, or driven a stake through my own chest, but they would not let me. They kept me only until I came to anticipate the blood, to want it. Only then did they set me free. That first feeding after I was freed was the only time I ever fed from someone without their consent, and I still feel guilt about that to this very day. They did not die, but I still caused trauma that likely lingered for a lifetime.

“Once I had enough control over myself to process everything, I lost it. I used my knife to cut away my own skin where all of my scars were. I had scars all over my neck, just like you - I used the knife to cut them away, and the skin instantly healed back due to my newfound identity as an immortalist, scarred worse than before. I struggled for decades, because of how I was turned, how I was treated beforehand. My only source of worth was in my ability to slaughter the rest of my kind. I refused to die until all of the immortalists were killed, although I managed to find a few along the way who stayed with me, who softened me. So… while our situations are not identical, I do understand how you feel. And I am so, so sorry. No one should have to live with the pain of being turned like that.” 

Silence hung heavy in the air after he finished speaking, both of them crying on either side of the door. Seonghwa wished that he could have opened it, so that he could comfort Hongjoong as he so clearly needed, but he would panic if he did so. So all he could do was cry on his side of the door, guilt twisting in the pit of his stomach. 

“To be honest with you now, I wanted you as a feeder because I saw the scars on your neck in your profile image, even though the database denoted that you had never been a feeder before. New feeders are a hot commodity as it is, but I did not care about that; you reminded me of myself, and I could not abandon you. I did not want you to end your own life like I tried to end mine, and I could see the hopelessness in your eyes, even just through that one photo.” 

Seonghwa muffled a sob with his hands, his frame shaking now as he cried, the tears spilling over his fingers. He had never known that Hongjoong had suffered like that, because he had always been so kind, so sweet. But perhaps the souls with the most scars were the kindest, and that realization hurt more than anything else. 

With trembling hands, he reached for the notepad he had used before, writing down a quick question with shaky penmanship. Why did you pretend that you had never seen my scars before? Several of his tears blotted the page by the time he was done, and he tore the note from the pad before sliding it under the door. 

He was met with silence as Hongjoong read the note, followed by an audible sigh. “I did not want to make assumptions,” he murmured. “I only wanted you to tell me if you felt comfortable doing so. It was not my place. I… I know how it feels when people do the opposite.”

Always so chivalrous, even now. Seonghwa was satisfied with that answer, for he knew the words came from Hongjoong’s heart, and he appreciated the concern for his well-being that had existed since the very beginning. 

“How are your wounds now?” Hongjoong asked, the question tentative. “I know you feel safer being alone right now, and I understand why, but maybe you can tell me in another note. I just want to be sure that you are okay.”

Swallowing with force, Seonghwa looked down at the notepad again, scrawling out an answer as his tears dried in a light crust of salt over his cheeks. The pain has lessened, but the wounds otherwise look the same. He saw no reason to lie, not when trust was the only reason he felt safe enough to talk to Hongjoong through the wall at all. Holding all of this inside was painful, and to share even that small detail relieved some of the burden from his shoulders.

He slid the piece of paper under the door, and Hongjoong hummed in acknowledgement after reading it. “I see. I am glad that your pain is more bearable now. The thought of you in there alone, feeling all of that pain… it hurts me to think about. I want nothing more than to hold you, but only when you are ready. What you have been through requires a lot of healing; if anyone understands that, it is me. I will never rush you.” 

Seonghwa sniffled, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve as he wrote something else, passing the note to Hongjoong. I just wish I could talk. Perhaps then, he would feel more alive, less like a husk of a soul held inside of a crippled body. 

“I know, darling,” Hongjoong murmured, and Seonghwa pulled his good knee to his chest as he listened, resting his chin there. “And I know that right now, you feel better being away from all of us, but would you consider allowing Yunho in the room to treat you? He does not have fangs, remember. He cannot hurt you.” 

Stiffening at the proposition, Seonghwa was quick to begin writing a note, rejecting the idea instantly. However, Hongjoong did not stop there, speaking as if he could sense Seonghwa’s fear through the door. Maybe he could - he had always been in tune with Seonghwa in that way, even from the beginning. 

“I know it is scary,” he said, and something in his voice made Seonghwa pause, his fingers trembling around the pen. He sounded desperate, almost… afraid. “But darling, you cannot stay the way you are. Please, just let him fix you. Please.” He took a shuddering breath, emotions slipping through the cracks in his speech. “Please, Seonghwa. You are hurt. You need help.” 

Seonghwa dropped the notepad when his vision blurred, for he could not see his own writing any longer. He wanted to speak, but even when he tried, his throat made those same awful wet sounds. A soft sob came from the other side of the door a moment later, and Seonghwa couldn’t bear it. 

“Please. Let him help you, and then you can spend as much time as you want locked in there, but you - you cannot continue the way you are. Your leg, your - your neck, those injuries need to be healed. Yunho knows how to help you. That is his job. And really, he is not so different from a human. I know I told you a long time ago that I did not agree with his choice to have his fangs removed, but… I must admit that I am grateful for it now. If there is anyone who can help you, it is him.” 

And he was right. Seonghwa knew that deep down, and as he listened to Hongjoong’s voice crack as he tried and failed to keep himself from crying, he could no longer ignore his own pain. It had lessened, but it was still overwhelmingly present, and he was tired. He was tired of the hurt, of the fear, of all of it. 

Crying silently, he wrote something down and passed it to Hongjoong before burying his face in his hands, the pain in his heart worse than the rest. 

I’m scared.

“Oh, baby, I know,” Hongjoong breathed, sniffling. “But you are so brave. You are so brave, and strong, and I have admired you since the night I met you. When I first saw you in that database, I felt pity towards you, because I figured you would be like me. I figured you would be bitter, and angry, and apathetic to life itself. But the most beautiful thing about you is that you were never like that, not from the moment I met you. You were bright in a way that I never was, and soft, and so gentle. The world tried to make you into something sharp, but you stayed soft. And people like you… you are soft enough not to shatter, unlike myself. You are resilient. You are remarkable, Seonghwa. And you are so brave. You are brave enough to let yourself be helped.” 

With those words, Seonghwa broke. He started to sob in earnest, his entire frame shaking, the room filling with all of the warped sounds spilling from his throat. Never had he seen any of those qualities in himself, but Hongjoong sounded so certain that his mind was momentarily illuminated, the doubts that lingered in the shadows swept away. 

He cried because he needed to. He cried because he was hurt, and something inside of him had been destroyed, and he didn’t know if he would ever be the same. He cried because somehow his life had gotten worse, when all he had ever wanted was for things to get better. 

However, he also cried because someone who loved him was sitting outside of his door, crying right along with him, refusing to leave him here alone. Hongjoong had seen all of his wounds, had watched him panic and struggle, and he was still here. He cried because if Hongjoong was still here now, then he would probably never let Seonghwa go again. 

Seonghwa wrote something else down, his tears blurring the ink as soon as it touched the page. I’m sorry. He was sorry for so many things, but those two words were powerful enough on their own, and he slid the note under the door with trembling fingers. 

This time, however, Hongjoong’s hand was already there waiting, and their fingers brushed for a split second before Seonghwa jerked his hand back. He stared down at his fingers, half expecting them to look different as a result of the contact, his breath hitching. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Hongjoong said softly, and Seonghwa knew that he meant every word. “I am the one who is sorry. All I wanted was to protect you, and it is because of me that you are now more hurt than you have ever been. So please… do not apologize to me. There is no need.” 

Writing another note, Seonghwa passed it under the door right after. You also made me more happy than I have ever been. 

As Hongjoong read the note, a soft, sad sound escaped his lips. “I know this is hard right now, but you will be happy again, Seonghwa. You are strong, and the kind of strength that you possess only grows in the face of this kind of pain. But… remember what you said to Wooyoung, a long time ago? You told him that he needed to trust in himself, to trust that he would get better, and he did. The same goes for you, you know.” 

Seonghwa swallowed hard, considering those words for a long moment before writing one last note, folding it once and sliding it under the door. 

I will try to let Yunho help me.

The sound of rustling paper followed, and then Hongjoong exhaled in relief, his body slumping back against the door. “Thank you. All I ask is that you try - that is all I will ever ask of you.” 

Chapter Text

Regulation #3: All vampires must be a member of a documented coven, under one of the eight vampire clans. Vampires who defect from their covens or refuse to exist within a coven will be executed without trial.

~

Seonghwa tried to back himself further into the wall as the door to his room opened, although he had already positioned himself at the farthest point from it in preparation for his space to be invaded. He understood that he needed his wounds to be treated in order to get better, but all logical thoughts cleared out of his mind as Yunho stepped through the doorway, immediately closing the door behind him. 

He was dressed in the normal attire he wore on the days he didn’t work at the clinic; namely, a pair of plaid pajama pants and a plain white shirt, his glasses slightly crooked where they perched against his nose. His eyes were bright as they fell upon Seonghwa’s hunched form, his lips curving into an easy smile. Seonghwa had no idea how he managed it, but even in the face of all of his wounds, Yunho didn’t regard him any differently than he always had. 

“Thank you for letting me come see you,” he said, his voice warm as he allowed his teeth to show. His lack of fangs was obvious, and some of the tension bled from Seonghwa’s shoulders. He was terrified of vampires after what had happened to him, but he was also too out of control as a fledgling to be around a human, and Yunho was perhaps the only person who fit exactly between the two categories. 

Making no move to come closer to Seonghwa just yet, he continued to linger by the door, the handle of a leather case held in his hands. Seonghwa assumed that his medical items were held inside, but he kept his distance as he waited for Seonghwa to respond, smile never fading. 

Swallowing hard, Seonghwa parted his lips to speak, but the only sound he was able to procure was a strangled whimper. He shut his mouth again immediately, pulling his uninjured knee closer to his chest, drawing back against the wall. 

“I’m going to take care of that for you, I promise,” Yunho soothed, gentle sympathy written over his features. “Once I patch up your throat, you will be able to speak again soon. Right now, the air is escaping through the wound, which is making it difficult for you to talk. However, the fact that you can make sound at all means that your larynx - or your voice box, as some call it - is not damaged beyond repair.” 

Despite his status as a doctor, he spoke in a way that Seonghwa was able to understand. His tone was no different than it always had been, and as Seonghwa stared at him from across the room, his fear continued to subside. Yunho was difficult to be afraid of - he had realized that when they had first met. He wasn’t intimidating in the same way that some of the others were, and Seonghwa couldn’t stop himself from constantly looking at his teeth, confirming over and over again that he had no fangs. 

“I brought you something, actually,” Yunho said after a lingering silence, reaching into the front sleeve of the leather case to pull out a white rectangle. “A dry erase board, and a marker. You can use this to communicate with me, if you want to.” 

He crouched down, setting down the case for a moment in order to slide the whiteboard across the floor, the marker attached to the side. Seonghwa flinched at the sudden movement, his good eye blinking open wide, staring down at the whiteboard when it came to a stop right in front of him. 

For a moment, he stayed frozen in place, bunching his hands into fists to hide the trembling of his fingers. “It’s okay, you can take it,” Yunho encouraged, and Seonghwa looked over at him, unsure. “Seonghwa, I will never hurt you. My job is to heal, to help. And I know that most doctors in your life have probably never cared to do that for you, but that is why I care so much about helping humans and vampires. That is why I don’t care if every vampire in this city calls me names.” 

With his heart aching, Seonghwa picked up the whiteboard and uncapped the marker to write. They call me names too. He turned the board around to show Yunho, and his smile dimmed slightly, his eyes a bit sad. 

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that, too. It is never a pleasant thing. But those of us who have been mocked and ridiculed by the masses… we tend to withhold judgment of others, because we know what it is like to be forced into a mold that we never chose to occupy. In that same manner, there is nothing that I have assumed about you, even now. I do not assume you to be helpless, or irreparable, or anything else. To me, you are still the same Seonghwa. All I want is to help you feel better.” 

His words brought tears to Seonghwa’s eyes, producing a dull sting within the damaged one, and he used his sleeve to wipe away the writing on the board before replacing it and showing Yunho. Do you really think I’m the same? 

Gaze softening, Yunho remained in his crouch, keeping at Seonghwa’s eye level. “Of course I do,” he murmured, not an inkling of doubt behind the words. “The inner workings of your body have changed, but you haven’t. Your soul is still the same, isn’t it? The rest is trivial, compared to that. As long as your soul is still intact, you will always be the same.” 

Seonghwa stared down at his shaky print on the whiteboard before erasing it again, nodding softly. He supposed that Yunho had to be right, although he was a long way from believing it himself. 

With a deep breath, Seonghwa looked back up at Yunho, uncurling slightly as he raised a hand to weakly beckon him over. “I can come closer? Are you sure?” he asked for clarification, and Seonghwa nodded. His fear surged as Yunho took a step forward, and then another, but he couldn’t stay in this room alone forever. He couldn’t allow his wounds to go untreated forever. 

Once he was a short distance away, Yunho came to a stop and sat down on the floor across from Seonghwa. He set down his case and popped open the latches, revealing an assortment of medical supplies. “I will only do as much as you are comfortable with, and I promise that I will not cause you any unnecessary pain. Something that I have learned through my own research is that vampires have dulled pain receptors; you will not feel pain in the same way that you would have when you were human. Am I right to assume that your pain has become more bearable since your initial awakening?” 

Seonghwa nodded, keeping his lips pressed together tight. Even now, he wasn’t entrenched in the agony of a shattered kneecap, even though his movement was severely limited. The wound in his neck should have been torturous, but it wasn’t. All he felt were minor aches throughout his body, nothing like the pain he remembered feeling in the hours before his death. 

“For vampires, severe pain only comes from a few things: wooden stakes, fire, and a certain type of silver. That is why you can still wear your ring without suffering further pain; that type of silver is safe. The same goes for the necklace that Hongjoong gave you.” 

Breath hitching, Seonghwa raised a hand to his neck, remembering his necklace for the first time since the attack. He scrambled for the whiteboard, hands trembling, until Yunho’s voice made him pause. “I saved your necklace. I saw it in the forest. It needs some repairs, but Hongjoong will be able to take care of that. Don’t worry.” 

Dropping the whiteboard, Seonghwa brought his hands to his face, wishing that he would stop shaking so hard. He hadn’t stopped shaking in all this time, and frustrated tears rose to his eyes. He was upset with his own limitations, furious with the shock that still clung to his system, taking over his life. 

Yunho shifted closer, moving slowly. “Hey,” he murmured, his eyes so kind that Seonghwa felt nauseous looking at them. “It’s okay. You’re okay. And the way you feel is okay. I think if I take care of your wounds, that might help you to feel a bit better. Do you think so?” 

Unsure of how to feel, Seonghwa didn’t give any indication of an answer, a tear rolling down his cheek as he stared resolutely at the floor. The gentle tone of Yunho’s voice made his chest hurt, and he had the sudden urge to be alone again, to wither away in solitude. 

“Seonghwa, hey,” Yunho said again, and he reached out a hand, although he didn’t touch Seonghwa without permission. “Are you afraid of me? It’s okay if you are. I just want you to be honest.” 

Struggling to swallow, Seonghwa shrugged his shoulders, tears clinging to his lashes. He didn’t understand why his heart could still hurt this much, when the rest of him was numb to the pain from all of his injuries. He didn’t know how to feel about anything, and that scared him the most. How could he trust anyone around him when he could barely trust himself? 

“Would you feel better if I left? We can try again tomorrow, if this is all too much right now-” 

Immediately, Seonghwa began to shake his head, heart leaping into his throat as he reached out, breaking the distance between the two of them to grab Yunho’s sleeve. The material bunched within his fists as he clung to the only person he wasn’t afraid of, a truth that occurred to him all at once. Yunho couldn’t hurt him without fangs, but he couldn’t hurt Yunho either, since the man was already a vampire. 

They stared at each other for a moment, and then Yunho nodded once. “Okay, then. I will stay for as long as you want me to.” 

Sniffling, Seonghwa nodded as well, his frame shaking as he maintained his hold on Yunho’s sleeve, unable to let go. Now that Yunho was here, Seonghwa didn’t want him to go. He tried to say as much, but the words refused to come out, the air escaping through his throat instead. 

“Let me ask you something else, then. Which injury would you like for me to attend to first? Your neck, the back of your head, your eye, or your knee? I will get to them all, but you can choose the order. It might make you feel a bit more in control,” Yunho offered, and Seonghwa immediately pulled back one of his hands to point at his throat, for that was the injury that was bothering him the most. Without his ability to speak, he felt trapped inside of his own body, and he hated it. 

Yunho offered a small smile, showing no disdain for Seonghwa’s current attachment to his sleeve. “Okay, the neck it is, then. I will explain to you everything that I need to do before I do it, and you can tell me to stop anytime. Just… hit me, or something. I won’t mind.” His smile grew a bit wider, and Seonghwa blinked, the pain in his chest drawing back. 

“First, I just need to examine the area. I can do it with just my eyes if you don’t want me to touch you, it’s okay. You are far from the first skittish patient I’ve treated, so don’t worry. Vampire wounds are not as difficult to treat, because you are at no risk for death like a human would be. Unless a wound is inflicted through one of the few methods that can deal permanent damage to a vampire, the body will typically heal itself fairly well, as long as everything is in the right place - bones, tissues, that kind of thing. And if anything is out of place, I will fix it now. Sound okay?” 

He waited for Seonghwa to nod, and then he adjusted his glasses on his nose, redirecting his gaze down to Seonghwa’s throat. “Tip your head back for me, please,” he requested, and Seonghwa complied, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to keep his nerves steady. 

To his credit, Yunho kept his word - he didn’t touch Seonghwa’s neck, instead just looking at the damage. His throat had been fully ripped open, so Seonghwa supposed that it wasn’t too difficult to see everything anyway. Several minutes passed by like that, with Yunho muttering soft observations under his breath, jotting down a few things on a pad of paper. 

“Okay, so let me tell you what I can see. For the most part, your skin and tissues are torn, but the area should heal as long as these parts of your neck don’t take on any further damage, which they won’t now that you are here with us. Especially once I wrap the area, the damage will be able to heal properly. Your larynx was not affected, as I assumed. The main reason why you can’t speak is because a lot of your air is passing through this wound, so once I bandage it you should be able to make sounds again, although your voice may sound a bit different until you heal in full,” Yunho explained. 

With a relieved exhale, Seonghwa’s shoulders loosened slightly. Once he was able to speak again, he would at least gain back a small portion of the control he had lost. After fending for himself in life for so long, control was an important part of feeling safe. 

Watching Seonghwa’s expression carefully, Yunho continued. “Several of your major blood vessels have been severed, which I can repair with a few stitches, if you would allow me. As for your vertebrae, you do have some damage to the bone, some cracks and chipped areas, but again, that is not as concerning now that you are technically no longer alive. You can hold your head up, which means that the damage is largely insignificant. A brace will keep your head in line while you heal, and then you should be self-sufficient as before.” 

The mention of stitches was frightening, and Seonghwa pulled back from Yunho, wringing his hands together. He understood that it was necessary, but he was terrified of feeling any kind of pain again, especially in his neck. But he couldn’t articulate his concerns, trapped as he was inside of his own broken body. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Yunho soothed, raising both of his hands in surrender. “I will not do anything that you don’t feel comfortable with. I have a topical numbing agent that can be used for the stitches - if I apply it to the skin around your neck, you won’t feel a thing. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that, then I won’t do it.” 

Seonghwa considered this for a moment, looking down at his hands. He supposed that he would be okay if the area was numb, but the thought of having his neck touched at all was still scary. But he would never heal if he didn’t allow Yunho to do his job, and he would never move on from his fear if his neck was in this state for the rest of his newly immortal life. 

Reaching for the whiteboard, Seonghwa uncapped the marker and wrote his answer. Okay, but I want to close my eyes while you do it. I am afraid. 

“Oh, Seonghwa, that is perfectly okay. When the area is numb, you will hardly feel my hands at all, I promise. It won’t be as bad as you are expecting, I promise.” 

From the moment he had entered this room, Yunho had been nothing but honest, and Seonghwa found that he believed that promise. He nodded, setting down the whiteboard again, clasping his hands together to keep them from shaking. 

He watched as Yunho pulled on a pair of gloves, preparing various supplies before picking up the bottle of topical numbing agent. “I am going to ask you to lie down on your back, if that’s okay-” Yunho started to ask, but he cut himself off when he noticed how Seonghwa’s intact eye had grown wide with panic, shaking his head violently and backing further away. 

“Okay, okay, no problem. We don’t have to do it that way,” he backpedaled, and Seonghwa stared at him apprehensively, raising a hand to his neck as if to defend himself. Being on his back reminded him of the attack, and that was the last thing he could handle in his current state. “I can work while you’re sitting, as long as you hold still. Does that sound better?” 

Seonghwa nodded, and after a short silence he drew closer to Yunho again. If he were still a human, his heart would have been pounding, but instead his body just felt empty, lifeless. He didn’t think he would ever get used to it. Idly, he scratched at his arms, bothered by his own skin, for it didn’t feel the same as before. Nothing did, not really. 

“Hey, don’t do that, okay? Don’t hurt yourself,” Yunho murmured, and Seonghwa dropped his hands, dipping his head in shame. His eyes filled with tears, his emotions all over the place, and again Yunho scrambled to appease him. “No, no, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry, Seonghwa. You did nothing wrong.” 

That was difficult to believe, however, and Seonghwa kept his head ducked as he wrapped his arms around himself, feeling sick all of the sudden. He hated this - he hated how sensitive he had become, how wild his emotions were. Tears built behind the lashes of his uninjured eye, leaking right out of the damaged socket of the other one. This skin didn’t feel like the one he was used to, but now he was stuck inside of it during every waking moment. He couldn’t escape from what had happened to him, and he hated it. Of all the places in the world, this one room was the only one where he felt safe, and yet even within these four walls he still crumbled again and again. 

When would he finally fall apart and stay that way? When would the tears be enough to drown him, to put him out of this misery? 

A gentle, gloved hand touched his own, and he flinched. Still, the touch grabbed his attention, and he looked up at Yunho through his blurred vision, his chest aching so badly that he wanted to dig his nails into the flesh over his ribs, to pull his heart out and tear it to shreds since it was useless now anyway. 

“It’s okay to cry,” Yunho said, his voice gentle. “It doesn’t make you weak. Strength is not defined by a lack of emotion; rather, strength is the ability to endure through hardship, to feel those emotions and still come out the other side. It’s okay to feel the way you feel. It’s normal. Honestly, you’re doing really well, considering what happened to you.” 

He offered a small smile, and Seonghwa reached out to clutch his sleeve again, finding comfort in the proximity. Even when Yunho started to apply the numbing agent, Seonghwa continued to hold onto him, simultaneously afraid to be beside him and afraid to be left alone again. 

However, as the time passed and Yunho continued to be nothing but kind, some of his fear subsided, his mind clearing. Even when Yunho started to stitch together certain areas within his neck, Seonghwa didn’t feel any pain, and as a result he started to trust Yunho all over again. After all, he hadn’t lied once throughout this process, even when a lie may have led to easier cooperation on Seonghwa’s part. 

He finished the stitches and wrapped a soft brace around the area, and then he peeled off his gloves and moved onto the back of Seonghwa’s head, cleaning away the dried blood still caked there with a gentle hand. The wound would need to heal on its own, but Yunho assured him that the damage wasn’t as bad as he had feared, for head wounds tended to bleed a lot.

After that he focused on Seonghwa’s eye, gently examining the area while Seonghwa’s stomach churned. In the grand scheme of all of his injuries, his eye was a lesser concern, but the fact that his field of vision was reduced with one eye gone only added to his disorientation, his panic. 

But even before Yunho said the words, Seonghwa knew that he would never get his sight back. He had touched his own socket with his fingers, after all, had felt the deflated globe inside, the exposed ocular nerve. He had felt his torn eyelid, hanging limp, rendered completely useless by the set of claws that had shredded it to pieces. 

After prodding gently at the area with gloved hands, Yunho sighed. “I do not think I can save the eye. I’m so sorry, Seonghwa. However, I can stitch the eyelid shut, which will help the area to heal and prevent any further pain. There are plenty of ways such a scar can be covered, as well. I’m sorry that I can’t give you a better answer than that, but I will not lie to you.” 

With a small sniffle, Seonghwa just nodded, looking down at the floor. He had expected that, and he allowed Yunho to do what he thought was best, for if his sight was gone for good then he didn’t care about what happened to his eye after that. If he couldn’t see, then it didn’t really matter to him. 

He kept his good eye trained on the floor as Yunho worked, avoiding the sight of his own destroyed eyeball being gently freed from the damaged socket, his mind wandering as a means of protection from his trauma. Seonghwa paid no attention to time as it passed by, staring at the wooden floorboards without blinking, his head empty of all thoughts. Living was easier this way, especially when he wanted to vomit every time he focused too hard on Yunho’s medical tools probing inside of his eye socket. 

Just as Yunho finished the last stitch, a loud sound erupted through the coven house, so piercing that Seonghwa jumped right back to full consciousness. His other eye snapped open wide as he scrabbled for Yunho’s arm, clutching onto him tight, his breathing picking up automatically as panic clouded his mind. 

The sound continued, and he realized that someone was screaming. Tortured screams, more reminiscent of a wounded animal than a human. Seonghwa had heard a lot of screams in his life, plenty of them his own, but he had never heard anything like this. His entire frame started to tremble, his heart in his throat as he grabbed onto Yunho with enough force to hurt, his jaw clenched so tight that he felt his teeth straining. 

“Make it stop,” he breathed, his eye wide and burning with unshed tears, not even processing that he had finally spoken for the first time since his death now that his throat was stitched and bandaged properly. “Make it stop. Please, make it stop.” A sob built in his throat, tears dripping down his cheeks as the screaming continued. 

Yunho’s expression reflected the same shock, but he snapped out of it more quickly. He looked down at Seonghwa and wrapped him in a gentle hold, using his hands to block Seonghwa’s ears, muffling the screams. “Sh, it’s okay,” he insisted, his voice rumbling in his chest as he held onto Seonghwa, sensing that he needed the contact to keep from falling apart. “It’s okay. Everything is okay.” 

But nothing felt okay, and Seonghwa continued to cry with his cheek now pressed against Yunho’s chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt tight in trembling fists. “Make it stop,” he said again, hardly able to hear his own voice. Even with Yunho’s hands over his ears, he could still hear the screaming. “Make it stop… please, make it stop, please…” His volume rose with each word, his voice cracking and hoarse with disuse, his entire form shaking violently. He could barely breathe, his panic growing as the screams continued, infiltrating his mind and filling his skin. 

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re okay, I promise. It will stop soon. I’m so sorry.” Yunho murmured the gentle words over and over, but Seonghwa couldn’t hear a thing, wet sobs tearing from his throat as he squeezed his eye shut. 

He couldn’t bear it, sucking in sharp inhales again and again, unable to exhale as he panicked. “W-Wooyoung,” he cried, pulling at Yunho’s shirt, his tears soaking the fabric. “It’s h-him. I know it’s him. Please, you - you have to do something. Please.” 

“The others are with him,” Yunho soothed, running his fingers through Seonghwa’s hair as he kept his ears covered, holding him close. “Right now, I need to be here with you. Wooyoung will be okay. He’s been unconscious for a while - he just woke up now. He is disoriented, and afraid, but San is with him. Hongjoong is with him. He’s okay.” 

Seonghwa shook his head, each sob wracking his frame. “It’s n-not his fault,” he gasped, struggling to suck in air. How strange, that he didn’t technically need to breathe any longer, and yet amidst his panic he still felt his throat constrict, his lungs burning. “Please, he - he needs to know that. I know it wasn’t really him. I - I know that. I know it.” 

“We all know it, Seonghwa, I promise you that. Wooyoung will know it too, but it just might take him a little while to get there.” 

That brought Seonghwa no comfort, pulling one of his hands away from Yunho’s shirt to scratch at his skin instead. He felt like something was wrong with his body, like his skin wasn’t a part of him at all, like his flesh was holding secrets of its own. This didn’t feel like his own body. His skin didn’t feel lived in, and he hated it.

What was he supposed to do, when he wanted to help Wooyoung but was too afraid to even see any of the others, let alone the one who had attacked him? He remembered how devastated Wooyoung had been the first time, and that damage had only been temporary - this time he had actually killed someone. Not just anyone, but Seonghwa, the one who had always helped him. 

How was he ever going to recover from that? 

“Maybe you can write him a letter, like last time,” Yunho said, disrupting Seonghwa’s spiraling thoughts. “I know you’re not ready to see him, and that’s okay. But if you want to make sure that he knows how you feel… you can always put it in writing for him to read whenever he feels bad. That would help him a lot, I think.” 

Although Yunho’s idea wouldn’t solve everything at once, it was still a tangible solution, cutting through Seonghwa’s panic at last. His mind cleared right as the screams died down, tears still silently streaming from his eyes. With a thick swallow, he nodded against Yunho’s shoulder, more aware of the arms that wrapped around him now, the hands that pulled away from his ears when the screams finally stopped. 

“Sorry,” he whispered, because he didn’t know what else to say. Everything seemed like it was his own fault, and if he thought about that too deeply, he started to lose his mind. 

However, Yunho just shook his head, pulling back and resting his hands on Seonghwa’s shoulders. “None of that,” he chided gently, keeping his smile in place. “You did nothing wrong. Now, I still need to fix your knee, if that’s alright. This one might hurt more than the others, but if you want me to stop I promise I will. Is that okay?” 

Seonghwa nodded, for in his mind’s current twisted sense of justice, he believed himself deserving of the pain. He hoped it would hurt, because then maybe he would feel a fraction of the agony that had led Wooyoung to scream like that. 

With his injured leg extended, Yunho pulled up the hem of Seonghwa’s loose sweatpants to observe his knee. The skin was black with bruises, clouding his leg from his thigh to halfway down his shin. His knee maintained none of its usual shape, swollen to the size of a deflated basketball, so deformed that Seonghwa struggled to swallow down a surge of bile. 

Still, he had to watch. He deserved it. 

Yunho slid on a new pair of gloves and started to examine the area, pressing gently on the swelling, gauging the state of the bones underneath. Concentration creased the space between his brows, soft lines forming along his forehead until he looked up at Seonghwa again, his features smoothing once more. 

“There is a lot of damage, I won’t lie to you about that. If you were a human… you would require extensive surgery, along with an intense rehabilitation process in order to walk again.” Fear struck Seonghwa’s heart, but Yunho rested a hand gently on his leg to keep his attention. “You are not a human anymore, remember. I can shift the fragments of your bone back into place to the best of my ability through a minor surgery, and bind the leg with a cast. Inhalation anesthetics are useless for vampires, but your pain receptors are so dulled that the pain would be bearable. You will also heal differently now, as I’ve already mentioned, and don’t forget that you are an immortalist. Your healing is taking longer than I would expect, but once your leg is bound, I’m sure that the ability attributed to our shared bloodline will take care of the rest.” 

As Yunho explained everything, Seonghwa’s mouth ran dry, his limbs frozen. “What do you mean… surgery?” he whispered, afraid to speak any louder. “I - I don’t want that. I don’t.” He bit down hard on his lip, blood welling around his teeth and running down his chin as his fangs sliced the skin.

“Seonghwa, don’t do that!” Yunho insisted, immediately blotting the blood away with a piece of gauze. “It’s not good for you, please. Don’t hurt yourself.” 

Tears blurred Seonghwa’s vision, and he hung his head. “Why not?” he asked, sniffling. “I’m dead anyway.” 

Stricken, Yunho parted his lips to respond, but he was interrupted by a soft knock at the door. They both looked towards the source of the sound, Hongjoong’s voice carrying through the wood a moment later. “Yunho… I need you for a minute.” The words were spoken with forced nonchalance, for Seonghwa didn’t miss the underlying panic underneath, and he knew Yunho didn’t miss it either. 

“Go, please,” Seonghwa insisted, his chest tight. “It’s probably Wooyoung. He needs you more than me.” 

Yunho stared back at Seonghwa before nodding, packing up his case in a matter of seconds. “He is not more important than you, I want you to understand that,” he said before he left, gripping the handle of the case. “He needs me, but so do you. We can talk more about your knee another time, okay?” 

All Seonghwa did was look down at the floor, listening to Yunho’s footsteps as he eventually left, closing the door softly behind him. Seonghwa remained where he was, staring at the black bruises over his knee, feeling sick to his stomach. 

~

Time meant little to Seonghwa as he wasted the hours away inside of his room, drifting in and out of sleep, never able to stay down for long. He still rested there on the floor, his back pressed against the far wall of the room, opposite the door. Both of his legs lay before him, but he had tugged his sweatpants back down over his knee, for he couldn’t bear to look at it any longer. 

Only when he heard approaching footsteps did he stir back to full consciousness, sitting up and blinking the daze out of his vision as he looked towards the door. That was Hongjoong’s familiar gait, and he awaited the sounds of the vampire’s voice, more desperate to draw comfort from that accent than he had expected. 

Sometimes, he didn’t realize how lonely he felt until someone joined him. 

“Hey, Seonghwa,” Hongjoong said, speaking loud enough to be heard through the door. “How are you feeling? I heard from Yunho that you can talk again; that is wonderful. I hope your injuries are feeling better.” 

Suddenly nervous to respond, Seonghwa looked down at his lap, picking at the skin around his fingernails. He hated how so much had changed in such a short time, because now he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to behave around Hongjoong, his heart aching in his presence. All he wanted was for everything to go back to how it was before, but that was no longer possible, and he didn’t know where the line was drawn.

After all, if he couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as Hongjoong, how was their love supposed to persevere? Desire had turned to fear, and intimacy had turned to words uttered through the wall, and he doubted that their relationship would ever be the same again. How could it be, when Seonghwa himself would never be the person he had been a few days prior? 

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong said again, with a bit more urgency this time, and Seonghwa cleared his throat into his fist. 

“Sorry,” he rasped, blinking hard. “I can talk, but… my throat still needs to heal a bit more, so I sound like this. Yunho helped with my eye, too.” 

A bandage had been placed over his freshly stitched eye, but Seonghwa raised a hand to touch the area anyway, running his fingers over the edge of the medical tape that held the bandage in place. “It makes me so happy to know that you let him help you. Thank you for doing that, darling. You were so brave to let him close to you like that.” 

Recalling their previous conversation, Seonghwa frowned. “It was… it was not scary. You were right. I was only scared when…” Seonghwa trailed off, tensing up at the mere memory of Wooyoung’s screams. 

“I am sorry you had to hear that, love,” Hongjoong murmured, and Seonghwa hardly processed the words that came after that, hung up on the term of endearment. 

Love. 

He hadn’t expected Hongjoong to call him that again, at least not for a long time. He raised a hand to his heart, half expecting to feel his heartbeat thumping against his chest, until he remembered that he didn’t have one anymore. 

At some point, Hongjoong had finished talking, and Seonghwa struggled to find the right words to articulate himself. “You can open the door,” he decided eventually, although his stomach twisted in unison with his own voice. “It isn’t locked.”

Nothing happened at first, the twin shadows of Hongjoong’s shoes still visible through the small gap beneath the door. “Are you sure?” he asked, not yet turning the doorknob. “You are not obligated to let me inside. If you would prefer for me to stay out here, that is okay. I will never be angry with you for that.” 

Seonghwa closed his eye, exhaling through his nose to keep his voice from shaking. “I want you to come in,” he said, although part of him was still unsure. But if he had allowed Yunho to come in and all had gone well, then he hoped this would be okay too. “Please.” 

He watched as the doorknob turned then, until Hongjoong was standing there in the doorway, his outline so familiar that Seonghwa almost wanted to cry. Since his death, he had only actually seen Hongjoong right after the attack, when he had been submerged so deep inside of his own panic that he hadn’t been able to think straight. He had been so afraid, trembling and crying, his trust shattered by what had happened to him. 

Now, however, his body reacted differently. He looked at Hongjoong as the vampire took a step into the room, and his face crumpled. Tears clouded his vision, but he was still able to make out every detail as Hongjoong slid to the floor, sitting on the opposite side of the room from Seonghwa, a shaky smile on his lips. 

Seonghwa saw his own emotions reflected in Hongjoong’s face, although he did a better job of keeping himself together than Seonghwa did. “You look great, darling,” Hongjoong murmured, sniffling as he wiped at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. “Thank you for letting me see you. I have wanted nothing more than to see you, to know that you are okay. Thank you.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you in sooner,” Seonghwa breathed, voice cracking as he tried not to cry. “I was too afraid. After how I reacted the first time, I… I didn’t know how I would handle it.” 

“You seem okay,” Hongjoong replied, searching Seonghwa’s face, eyes lingering over the bandages that covered his eye, his neck. He was purposely hiding his fangs as he spoke, keeping his lips from moving too much. “Is this okay?” 

Struggling to speak around the lump in his throat, Seonghwa nodded. “Yeah. It is.” A tear dripped down his cheek, gathering at the edge of his jaw. “It’s okay.” 

They stared at each other for a long moment, silence hovering between them, filling the room and pressing against the walls. Seonghwa had so much he wanted to say, but he couldn’t find the right words to express any of it. All he knew was that his heart hurt when he looked at Hongjoong, filled with an expired human love that had nowhere to go. 

He was in no position to love someone now, not when he wasn’t even sure if he wanted this future for himself. As if sensing his inner turmoil, Hongjoong’s expression softened further, his eyes wide and shining. “You do not need to hold back your feelings around me, darling. The way that I feel about you has not changed - it will not change, no matter what happens. I promise you that. Even if you want to yell at me, to blame me for bringing you into this life, for allowing all of this to happen… I will never stop loving you. Remember that.” 

The words came out of his mouth so easily, and yet they took Seonghwa’s breath away. He hadn’t expected to hear that, not when he was in this state. “Why?” he asked, so quietly that he could barely hear himself. “You loved me because I was beautiful, but I’m not beautiful anymore. Even once my wounds heal… I’ll be deformed by scars forever. You could have anyone else you wanted, given your standing.” 

“I do not want anyone else,” Hongjoong said without hesitation, firm in his convictions even while Seonghwa wavered. “I will love you as a vampire as strongly as I did when you were human. I will help you get through this, Seonghwa. You are going to be okay, because you are not alone. You will never be alone again.” 

“You told me that before, but I was still alone when it happened,” Seonghwa whispered, looking down at his lap to avoid the guilt that marred Hongjoong’s features. “I don’t believe it, not anymore. What happens when the rest of the council finds out about me? I’m undocumented, so they’re going to kill me. You don’t have to keep that from me, I already know it.” 

Hongjoong sighed, his voice full of remorse when he spoke again. “I just wanted to protect you. I did not want to tell you anything that might make your recovery more difficult, but yes. I have kept this from the council thus far, because I will only bring you before them once I know who is behind all of this.”

“And once my wounds heal,” Seonghwa added, looking up once more and meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Right? Because something’s wrong with me. I should have healed already, because Wooyoung is the one who turned me.” Despite how Yunho had tried to sugarcoat the truth, Seonghwa knew he was correct.

He watched as Hongjoong seemed to fight a brief internal battle before finally nodding. “I do not understand why you have not healed,” he admitted, although it clearly pained him to do so. “But if the council sees that you have open wounds, they will think that something else happened, that a member of a different coven turned you. They will proceed to perform tests on you, in an attempt to determine what your true abilities are, and which coven you belong to. I cannot allow that, because they would take you away from me and potentially send you to live elsewhere, with other vampires. So I have to keep you here until you heal, because I refuse to lose you again.” 

By the time he was finished, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears, and Seonghwa was reminded of the first time Wooyoung had attacked him, when he had realized for the first time how much his mortal life meant to Hongjoong. “I cannot lose you, Seonghwa,” he said again, his words no louder than a whisper now, voice breaking. “Please understand that. I love you with all that I have. All of my nightmares are about losing you.” 

Seonghwa’s chin trembled, and he pulled his sleeves over his hands, wiping his tears away. “I’m sorry,” he cried, sniffling. “I should never have left. I ruined everything because I was afraid, and I hurt everyone because of it. The council is going to kill Wooyoung too, all because of me. You - you never should have bidded on me. It wasn’t worth this.” 

“Do not say that, please,” Hongjoong begged, reaching out his arms before he remembered the distance between them, letting his hands drop awkwardly to his sides instead. “I have a lot of regrets, but that will never be one of them. I did not know how to live until you came into my life. I will never regret you; I will only regret my own failure to save you. I am so sorry, darling. I know you are hurting, and I was supposed to protect you from that. But I will fix all of this now, I promise. I will fix it, no matter what it takes.” 

Inhaling a shuddering breath, Seonghwa glanced down at his knee, his throat tightening as he observed the massive amount of swelling even through his sweatpants. “Yunho said that he needs to cut open my knee to fix it, to fix me, or else I’ll never be able to walk again,” he blurted, for he felt sick holding it inside. “But I don’t want that. I’m - I’m scared. I want to walk, but I don’t want to hurt anymore. I’m so tired of hurting all the time.” 

A soft sob followed the admission, and he hugged his arms around his good leg, pressing his cheek against his knee as he watched Hongjoong across the room. “It would not hurt, not like you are expecting,” Hongjoong explained gently, his lips downturned. “The pain would be bearable, now that you are no longer human. The tools that Yunho uses for vampire surgeries are not made from any kind of material that causes our kind terrible pain.” 

“But I would have to be awake,” Seonghwa said, terrified at the mere thought. Even if Hongjoong and Yunho were both right, and the pain wouldn’t be as bad as he expected, he would still have to deal with his own consciousness in the absence of anesthesia. The thought of being awake while Yunho cut into his knee and rearranged the bone fragments made him feel sick. 

“For decades, Yunho has tried to develop a form of general anesthesia for vampires, but he has not been successful in any form of inhalation drug. When he is not leaving for a shift, he often leaves here to go to the closest laboratory facility, where he has performed research for a long time. He has made a lot of strides in other areas, but yes. You would have to be awake.” 

Stomach twisting, Seonghwa shook his head. “Then I don’t want to,” he whispered, shoving his hands beneath his thighs to hide their shaking. “I don’t want to.” 

“But, Seonghwa…” Hongjoong trailed off, looking uncomfortable now, his gaze so piercing that Seonghwa fought the urge to squirm. He didn’t want to talk about this, but he had the feeling that he didn’t have a choice. “You need to. Your knee will not heal correctly otherwise, and you will not be able to walk. I know you do not want that. I know that you are afraid, but this is really important.” 

“But I don’t want it!” Seonghwa burst out again, tears of frustration burning the eye that wasn’t covered in bandages. “I just - I don’t want it. I don’t want to see any more blood. I can’t bear it, I can’t. I don’t want to.” His lips trembled, and he clamped them shut when he was finished, barely holding back the whimper that rose up his throat. 

Hongjoong looked like he wanted to come closer, fighting the urge as he kept his distance. Perhaps if they had been talking about something else, Seonghwa would have allowed him to cross the room, but he didn’t want that right now. He was too upset, too shaken by all of this. 

“I just want all of my injuries to heal like magic, just like yours do,” he admitted after a short silence. “I don’t understand why that isn’t happening. If my body wasn’t so broken, maybe I would feel a little better, but even after all of this there’s something wrong with me as a vampire, too. Just like when I was human.” 

“There is nothing wrong with you,” Hongjoong insisted, expression pained. “Seonghwa, please. You are perfect.” 

“How can you say that?” he burst out, leaning his head back against the wall, staring at the ceiling as the tears ran from his eyes freely. “It’s not true. No one wanted that kid in the orphanage who was covered in scars. No one wanted to be my new parents, no one wanted to be my friend, no one even wanted to be nice to me. No one wanted to be near me. I finally felt happy here, and then everything went wrong, and now I don’t think I’ll ever be happy again. I feel sick, every single second of the day. My skin feels wrong, like - like there’s something underneath it, desperate to tear me to shreds. My mind is so full of darkness that it scares me. I just want to feel the sun, but I can’t. I want to eat something, and sit by the fire, and feel warm. But I can’t. I feel so cold that it’s making me sick. I can’t do it, Hongjoong. I just - I can’t.” 

He swiped angrily at his cheeks, fed up with his own volatile emotions, wishing that he would just pull himself together. Hongjoong was right, he needed to let Yunho fix his leg, but he couldn’t. He needed to drink blood to fill the hollow that grew in his stomach with every hour that passed, but he couldn’t. 

“So I’m sorry that I don’t want my leg cut open on top of all of that, but I’m scared. I’m scared and I’m hurt and I just want you to hold me but I’m too afraid to even let you do that. I want everything to go back to how it was, but that’s not possible, and I hate it. I want to be fixed, but now I worry that - that I’m too damaged. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same, and I can’t live with that. So if you want to cut open my leg, you’ll have to force me. If you want me to drink blood, you’ll have to force me. Because otherwise, I’m content to waste away in here. I don’t care.” 

“You do not mean that.” Hongjoong’s tone had changed, and Seonghwa finally looked at him to find his cheeks streaked with tears. He didn’t bother to wipe them away, too focused on Seonghwa’s words. “Please, you - you cannot mean that. We just want to help you. Please… let yourself be helped, my star. That is all I ask of you. You do not need to be perfect, not at all. But you just need to try.” 

But he just didn’t understand. How was Seonghwa supposed to learn how to drink blood to keep himself alive, and allow his leg to be fixed, when the mere sight of blood would send him into a panic attack? Perhaps to Hongjoong, an end to all of this was visible, but Seonghwa couldn’t see a thing. All he could see was his current state of misery, and hope had never been his strong suit. 

“All my life, fate has proven to me that I am destined for suffering. Again and again, that is all I have ever known. You don’t know what that’s like. You’ve suffered, but the whole reason you started hunting vampires was because of your emotional attachment to your family. You had an incentive from the beginning; I’ve never had that. So I just… I can’t let myself hope again, because hope only makes the inevitable pain hurt worse, and I’m tired of hurting. I’m so tired.” 

Hongjoong watched him for a moment, before he nodded. “I see,” he murmured, his voice cracking. “And I am so sorry, Seonghwa. I am sorry for what you have suffered, but I am also sorry for what I am about to say, because I know you will not like it.” He tried to smile, but the expression was dead. “I am going to take care of you, until you can bring yourself to have hope again. I will not let you waste away, because I care about you. Because I love you. I cannot watch the man I love die a second death, even if you hate me for it.” 

Throat constricting, Seonghwa wrapped his arms around himself, backing further against the wall. “Why not?” he rasped, clutching onto his own thin frame, a poor semblance of the type of embrace he was craving. “You wanted to die once too. Surely you understand.” 

“I did not have anyone to help me, back then. But you have me. I am not letting you die.” 

The remaining love in Seonghwa’s heart curdled, and he swallowed down the bile that stung the back of his tongue. Even that tasted of blood, threading his nerves with a dull sense of panic. Suddenly, desperately, he needed to be alone. 

“Get out,” he croaked, turning his head away from Hongjoong now, staring at the wall as his entire frame started to shake. “Leave. I don’t need you to save me. I don’t want to be saved.” 

He listened as Hongjoong shifted, rising from the floor. “Deep down, I think you want to live. I think that is what scares you most of all.” He left the room after that, closing the door behind him, but those final words lingered for hours. 

~

By the time the next night came around, Seonghwa began to have more difficulty ignoring his hunger. His stomach growled constantly, and his head pounded with the need to be satiated. However, all he craved now was blood, despite his complete aversion to it. 

The mere thought of willingly drinking blood made him feel nauseous, but he remembered how it had been for Wooyoung, how he had repressed his hunger until losing control and ripping through numerous blood bags until he was satisfied. Seonghwa was afraid of letting his hunger grow to that point, but he had no other choice, huddled up against the wall of his room with his arms curled around his aching stomach. 

He was in that exact position when a knock sounded on his door, the shadows of two pairs of feet showing through the gap under the door. Dread immediately weighed down on Seonghwa’s shoulders, and he clenched his hands into fists when his fingers began to shake. 

“Seonghwa, can we come in?” Yunho asked, his voice gentle, but Seonghwa knew why he was here. He recalled Hongjoong’s assertion from the night before, and he shivered despite his inability to feel the cold. They wanted to save him, regardless of what he wanted. 

When he didn’t respond, they opened the door anyway, Yunho and Hongjoong both standing there in the doorway. Sure enough, Yunho was holding another case in his hands, this one larger than the last. Their expressions were home to a certain underlying tension, even as they tried to smile at him, and Seonghwa drew no comfort from either presence this time around. 

“I know why you’re here,” he said, his voice shaking. “I don’t want you to touch my knee. I don’t want to hurt anymore.” 

The two of them shared a look before Yunho turned back to Seonghwa, his eyes full of remorse. “Seonghwa, you will hurt so much less once it’s over,” he reminded, his brow furrowed in concern. “Don’t you want to walk again? I know it’s scary, but you’ve been so brave, all this time. You’ll feel better once your knee has healed properly, and you can move like normal. Then you won’t be stuck on the floor like you are now.” 

Seonghwa looked down at the floor, resolutely avoiding eye contact with either of them, his stomach twisting. “I don’t want to be brave anymore,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I just want to be safe, and happy, and - and warm. Every time, you always say that I just need to be brave a little longer, just once more, but that’s never true. I don’t want to spend my life being brave. I’m so tired of being strong. It’s not fair.” 

“You are right. It is not fair, and if I could take all of the hurt away from you, I would do it in an instant. But when you get through this, Seonghwa, you will be able to live how you wanted, before everything went wrong. You will be able to be a part of our coven forever, and after years and years of being happy, the hurt will only ever live in your distant memory. I know it does not seem that way now, but it is true. Think of Wooyoung - think of how much he changed,” Hongjoong said, taking another step inside. 

“But now he’s hurting again,” Seonghwa whispered, struggling not to cry at the mere mention of that name. “And I can’t even help him this time. It’s - it’s not fair. He deserves to be happy too.” 

Hongjoong crouched down to be at Seonghwa’s level, finally catching his eye. His expression was so pained that Seonghwa felt it in his own chest, and he had to press his lips together tight to swallow a whimper. “Then do it for him,” Hongjoong murmured. “If you will not recover for yourself, do it for Wooyoung. If you want to help him, you need to get better. Perhaps your own life is not enough of an incentive to remain strong, but think of his life.” 

He paused, staring at Seonghwa as if he could see right through his physical skin, all the way down to his wounded soul, riddled with cracks and beaten out of shape. “He will never be the same if you let the pain get the best of you. If you never walk again because you refuse to let Yunho fix your knee, Wooyoung will suffer from that wound as well, do you understand? If you cannot be strong for yourself, be strong for him. Be strong so that you can see him again, so that the two of you can help one another.” 

For a split second, Seonghwa was reminded of Wooyoung’s weight on top of him, the pain that had flared through his neck. He remembered how Wooyoung had tried so hard to fight his hypnosis, destroying his own face in order to keep himself from attacking. He remembered how he had used the last of his strength to hug Wooyoung tight, even as he died, so that Wooyoung would know that Seonghwa would never hate him even in death. 

They had both gone to such lengths to protect one another, but here they were again in the same house, even after the tragedy that had struck. Seonghwa had been granted a second chance at life; could he truly let himself die again, when he had the power now to take care of Wooyoung just like he had wished for back then? 

As he was dying, Seonghwa would have given anything to see the people he loved one last time, to tell Wooyoung that this wasn’t his fault, to piece him back together. And now, he had the chance to do those things. 

All this time, he had been holed up in his room, too busy feeling sorry for himself to even consider that. But how could he choose to die when it would break Wooyoung’s heart beyond repair? How could he let himself die when the rest of the coven was so relieved to have him back? 

How could he let himself die when Hongjoong loved him enough to fight for him like this? 

Now when Seonghwa’s eye filled with tears, it was for a different reason. Heavy, suffocating guilt crashed over him in one massive wave, and his shoulders slumped as a result, his heart cracking open under the weight of it all. A gut wrenching sob tore from his throat with such force that it was painful, and he clutched at his chest with both of his hands, digging his nails into his skin through the thin material of his shirt. 

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, struggling to speak as his breath hitched unevenly, the pain in his chest unbearable. “I - I could only think of all of my p-pain, and I didn’t think of anything else. It seemed easier to die than to suffer all over again - I’m just so tired of suffering. But I forgot that there are people who… who need me now. I’m not alone anymore. I’m - I’m not.” 

“You are not,” Hongjoong said, rising from his crouch to come closer now, taking a seat right in front of Seonghwa. Yunho lingered a few steps behind, watching the two of them. “And you do not have to do this alone, Seonghwa. I promise you. If you let Yunho fix your leg, I will hold your hand the whole time, and I will talk to you about anything you want me to in order to distract you. I will coax you through the feeding process, and we will get through this together. You are not alone. You will never be alone again, as long as you let yourself be helped. That is all I want from you. Because I need you, Seonghwa. I need you, okay?” 

His voice broke, and he reached out to Seonghwa as he continued, holding out a hand but not touching him without permission. “I need you. I need you so badly that the thought of losing you paralyzes me. So if you cannot find the will to live within yourself, find it within me. If you do not have the strength to stand, I will carry you. If you do not want to speak, I will sit with you and hold your hand. If you need to cry, I will wipe your tears. But please… let me do those things. Do not hold it all inside. Let me protect you and shield you from what I can.” 

He was practically pleading now, his words piercing through Seonghwa’s armor with the force of bullets, embedding deep in his battered soul. But the bullets did not hurt; rather, each one was warm, the first warmth that Seonghwa had felt since his death. He sucked in a sharp breath, looking at Hongjoong’s outstretched hand, suddenly desperate to be held. 

With fingers trembling, he reached out and placed his hand on top of Hongjoong's, their palms touching. The first thing he noticed was that Hongjoong’s skin wasn’t cold to the touch anymore; rather, their hands were the same temperature, now that Seonghwa was no longer human. Immediately, the pain in Seonghwa’s heart lessened at the contact, and his next breath came easier than the last. 

This was far from over, and Seonghwa was not naive; he understood that things would likely become worse before getting better. But perhaps Hongjoong was right; maybe he didn’t have to do this all alone. Maybe he did have people to live for, reasons to keep fighting, even when his feet started to drag and his muscles trembled with fatigue. Because he had a family now, people who would carry him when he stumbled, and share the load that weighed upon his shoulders. 

He wasn’t alone anymore. In the face of such a traumatic experience, he had reverted back to the mindset that had kept him alive for so long as a child with no home, no family, nothing. But he didn’t need to live like that anymore. 

“Okay,” he whispered after a long silence, still staring at their joined hands, their fingers intertwined now. “I’ll try.” Those three words were all he could manage due to the lump in his throat, but he didn’t need to say anything else. He watched relief transform Hongjoong’s face, softening his features and bringing life back to his eyes. He watched a small, tremulous smile curve those familiar lips, and he knew that he had made the right choice. 

For that smile, he would do anything. 

Hongjoong’s cheeks were streaked with tears, and he squeezed Seonghwa’s hand gently, never looking away from his face. “Can I hold you?” he asked, breathless. “Just for a moment?” 

Twin tears escaped as Seonghwa blinked, for Hongjoong would never understand what that question meant to him. “Please,” he whispered, for he was desperate to be held in the cage of those familiar arms, to hide from the rest of the world. “Please.” 

Pulling his hand back, Hongjoong reached out both of his arms instead, wrapping them around Seonghwa’s middle and pulling him close. Their position was a bit awkward, for Seonghwa’s injured leg was still extended straight between them, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered but their still chests pressed against one another, Seonghwa’s nose touching Hongjoong’s neck and Hongjoong’s chin resting atop the crown of his head. 

Seonghwa’s tears fell faster, and he held onto Hongjoong just as tight, his body beginning to shake as his walls were dismantled by the familiar contact. They stayed like that for a long time, Seonghwa sobbing into Hongjoong’s neck for what felt like hours, finally letting out all of the emotions festering inside of him. All of the fear, the hurt, the guilt - all of it. 

By the time his tears started to slow, he was able to breathe easier, the tightness in his chest finally loosening. He pulled back, wiping at his cheeks as he sniffled. Seeking out Yunho’s gaze, he inhaled a long breath before parting his lips to speak. “You can do it now,” he said, trying to keep his voice from wavering. “You can fix my knee. I want you to fix it.” 

He was still petrified, but Hongjoong and Yunho had both been right. He had to do this, in order to get past his own suffering. If he never allowed his knee to heal properly, he would always be reminded of that traumatic night in the woods every time he looked at his leg, every time he failed to walk properly. And he didn’t want that. 

“But I don’t… I don’t want to lie down on my back while you do it. Can I still sit up?” The last thing he needed was another reminder of what had happened out in the woods, and if he were pinned down while lying on his back as Yunho worked on his knee, he would devolve into a full-fledged panic attack. He knew it in his bones, and Yunho was quick to agree, for he knew it as well. 

“Of course,” he appeased, sitting down on the floor now as well, setting down the case in his hands. “We will do this according to your comfort, Seonghwa. If you want me to stop at any point, if you need a break, please just tell me. I know you’re afraid, but you don’t have to do it all alone. Hongjoong and I are here to help you.” 

Seonghwa reached for Hongjoong’s hand, clutching onto it tight, absorbing a small amount of strength through the contact. “Okay,” he breathed, inhaling a deep breath as he tried to calm his nerves, struggling to breathe through his constricted airway. “I - I trust you.” 

He received a soft smile from Yunho in return. “And I will never take that trust for granted,” he promised, opening up his case of medical supplies. The case was positioned at an angle that prevented Seonghwa from seeing the contents, something that Yunho had done on purpose. He rummaged inside for a short while, before looking at Seonghwa once more. 

“I am going to put up a small barrier over your waist, to prevent you from seeing your knee. Not because I am hiding anything from you - I just think you’ll feel more calm if you don’t have to see any blood. Am I right?” 

Nodding, Seonghwa was taken aback by the force of the relief that spread through him, for he had been more concerned about the sight of his own blood than he had even realized. The presence of a barrier would make this whole experience more bearable, and he watched as Yunho set it up, placing a miniature curtain rod over his waist, the curtain covering his view of the lower half of his body. 

Yunho turned back to his tools after that, and Seonghwa chose to look away, focusing on Hongjoong’s presence by his side instead. The two of them were sitting with their backs pressed against the wall, Seonghwa’s legs extended out in front of him while Hongjoong had his legs folded. 

“It will not take long,” Hongjoong said, squeezing Seonghwa’s hand. “And it will not be as bad as you are expecting, I promise. Yunho has performed surgeries on many vampires over the centuries; he is arguably one of the best vampire doctors in the world, if not the best. I know he can be a bit of a fool around us, but he knows what he is doing.” 

“Hey!” Yunho protested, but he was smiling, and the heaviness in Seonghwa’s chest was cut through by something lighter for a split second, an emotion he hadn’t felt since before all of this: joy. It took his breath away, because he hadn’t expected to ever feel it again. But maybe, with time… maybe he would be able to feel like that all the time. That was all he wanted. 

Another squeeze of his hand redirected his attention, and he focused on Hongjoong once more. “You okay?” Hongjoong asked, and Seonghwa actually considered the question, giving his real answer instead of the automatic, ingenuine one. 

“No,” he admitted, swallowing hard. “But I think that maybe… maybe I could be, one day.” 

Hongjoong’s lips curved softly, and he nodded once. He didn’t give a verbal response, but he didn’t have to - Seonghwa appreciated that, in truth. He was tired of talking, tired of crying, and he just wanted to get this over with. Resting his head back against the wall, he stared at the curtain over his legs, trying to breathe steadily to keep his nerves in check. 

The first thing Yunho did was sanitize the area, cleaning the skin gently, applying very light pressure to keep from causing any unnecessary pain. That part wasn’t so bad, and Seonghwa was breathing more easily by the time Yunho was done. 

“Do you want me to walk you through what I’m doing?” Yunho asked, reaching for the next tool from inside of his case. “Or would you rather not know?” 

Considering this, Seonghwa frowned slightly. “I don’t want to know,” he admitted honestly, for he would only feel more inclined to panic if Yunho described every cut he made, every shift of bone and repair of muscles and ligaments. “Just… warn me if something is going to hurt. That’s all I want to know.” 

Yunho nodded, taking the request in stride. Seonghwa tried not to watch him, and instead he craned his neck to look up at the ceiling, allowing his mind to wander. “You will likely feel a small pain in a moment - it should be very manageable,” Yunho explained after a minute, and Seonghwa braced himself. 

As described, a dull pain spread down the length of his knee, but the sensation was completely different from what Seonghwa was used to as a human. The pain wasn’t sharp; it was distant, subdued. In death, his pain receptors had died as well, and now he was more numb to agony than any human. Yunho had explained that to him, but he hadn’t truly understood what it meant until now, his mouth dropping open in surprise. 

“It doesn’t hurt that much,” he said, eye wide as he stared at the ceiling, relieved. “It - it barely hurts.” A weight lifted from his shoulders, his worst fears retreating. He wouldn’t be submerged in agony for hours as Yunho fixed his leg; he could handle this. He had faced far worse pain in his life. 

“You’re doing great,” Yunho encouraged, those same dull pains building into a steady throb along his leg, but that was all. Even as Seonghwa heard the sound of tools scraping pieces of shattered bone, he still felt okay. 

The worst part of it all was the feeling of something wet sliding down his leg, soaking into the waterproof cloth that Yunho had spread out on the floor beneath Seonghwa’s leg. Blood spilled from the area continually, and Seonghwa resolutely kept his gaze fixed on the ceiling, trying to ignore the feeling. He clenched his jaw tight, squeezing Hongjoong’s hand with increased strength. 

Panic started to build at the base of Seonghwa’s throat as the minutes passed by and the feeling of blood coating his skin persisted, and he could feel Hongjoong watching him, scanning his face for signs of discomfort. “Talk,” Seonghwa blurted, trying to keep his breathing even. “About anything. Just talk. So I’ll forget about the blood.” 

Without hesitation, Hongjoong took the words in stride, his voice cutting through the haze of panic that clouded Seonghwa’s mind. “You know, my mother used to tell my siblings and I this one story every night. It was our favorite; for a long time, I repressed those memories, too traumatized by what I had lost to even think about the times before everything went wrong. But eventually, the memories came back to me, and now I can look back on those few short years I spent with my family with a clearer mind.

“Anyway, the story was about pirates and mermaids, so it satisfied the interests of both my brothers and sisters. It was romantic, but also full of adventure, and my mother was a wonderful storyteller. She created worlds with her words that entranced all of us, and even after I fell asleep, I often dreamt of the world she described in that particular story. It was not always a kind world, but that made it feel more real. The story goes like this.” He cleared his throat, telling the tale easily from memory. “Piracy has always consisted of reigns of terror and falls from grace…”

Seonghwa listened as he told the entire story over the next two hours while Yunho continued to put Seonghwa’s knee back together. He hadn’t expected the tale to be so long, but he hung onto every word, clinging to this idea of another world, entirely different from their own and yet still so similar in its foundations. He closed his eye and imagined a world of mermaid princes and pirate captains, of secrets and affections and changing allegiances. By the time the story ended, he had tears on his cheeks, his heart full of Hongjoong’s words. 

“Wow,” he breathed, wincing slightly as a bolt of pain lanced up his thigh. “Is that what all stories are like? I’ve never been told a story before.” 

“Well, the quality of a story does depend on not only the story itself, but also on the storyteller. Some stories are longer than others, some are shorter, but what matters most is what lies at the heart of the story itself. I like to believe that the one I just told you is a tale of the importance of leaning on others, as well as the idea that it only takes a few dedicated souls to reform the world into a kinder place. That is the lesson I learned from it, at least.” 

Seonghwa nodded. “I think so too,” he murmured, thoughtful. “It’s strange, that I feel like I can understand the characters in a story that centers around a different world. I mean… do you think that in some other universe, the world is made up of only humans, and vampires never existed at all?” 

“I am sure of it, yes. I am also sure there are worlds in which vampires have taken over everything. There are probably worlds full of angels, and aliens, and anything else that you can think of. If you bring a world to life within your mind, then in a way, I think that world becomes real. I think the reason why we enjoy immersing ourselves in stories of other worlds so much is because we can escape the present and wonder what it would be like if our world was different. We can hear about the people in those worlds, and see parts of ourselves within them.” 

That was a fascinating thought, and Seonghwa knew that the story Hongjoong had shared with him would live inside of his mind for a long time. After all, he was right - if this world became too much, Seonghwa would be able to think of that other world and let go of his present concerns for that moment. Perhaps he could even create some worlds of his own one day. He liked the idea of that. 

“All done,” Yunho said after another few minutes passed. “The sutures are finished, so there will be no more pain. I only want to bandage the area, and then your knee should heal properly. You did amazing, Seonghwa. I am so, so proud of you.” He smiled at Seonghwa, his eyes shining. “Would you like to see the stitches before I cover them up? I cleaned away all of the blood, and I removed the undercloth, so don’t worry about that.” 

Sucking in a breath, Seonghwa nodded. “Yeah, I want to see,” he decided. He wanted to see the evidence of his own strength, the scar that he would carry with him after this. 

Yunho removed the curtain, and Seonghwa looked down at his leg. His pant leg had been pushed all the way up to expose his injury, and the skin was still covered in bruising, terrible to look at. However, the line of sutures was clean, extending all the way from the top of his shin to the start of his thigh. Despite all of the swelling, his knee was no longer bent at that odd angle, and for the first time Seonghwa dared to believe that he would be able to walk again. 

“Thank you,” he breathed, pressing trembling fingers to his mouth. “Thank you for fixing me.” 

“You are very welcome,” Yunho replied with a smile, holding a roll of bandages in his hands. He started to bandage the area as he spoke, his movements practiced. “I don’t know how long it will take for you to heal, so I want to keep monitoring the wound on a regular schedule. Your healing is still partially accelerated, for I did notice that some of your ligaments had started to knit back together on their own, so I suspect you’ll be able to attempt to walk after a week or two.” 

He secured the bandage into place, looking over the area once more. “I have a brace that I want you to wear as well, so that the joint remains properly aligned. Is it okay if I strap that on over your bandages?” 

Seonghwa murmured his assent, watching as Yunho left the room for a second before returning with the brace. He must have left it out in the hallway. “But my healing is still too slow for an immortalist, right?” Seonghwa asked as Yunho put the brace on his leg. “There’s still something wrong with me.” 

“We are going to figure that out,” Hongjoong replied, squeezing Seonghwa’s hand. “What matters most is that you are safe, and that you are not in pain. Once you are healed, we will take you before the council, but for now we will continue to conceal you here. I still have to attend my council meetings to avoid suspicion, but I will be here to help you at every other moment.” 

“Hongjoong is correct. I also intend to run some tests on your blood, to figure out what’s going on inside of you. As far as I know, there has never been a vampire that hasn’t manifested the abilities of one of the eight bloodlines, so you are something of an anomaly. However, you are healing faster than a vampire from any other bloodline, which leads me to believe that you still have immortalist abilities. For some reason, yours are lessened - that’s what I want to study. While I was working on your leg, I collected some of your blood. Would it be alright for me to run some tests at my lab?” Yunho asked, and Seonghwa nodded. He wanted to know the truth more than anybody. 

After that, Yunho tidied up the rest of his supplies, and Seonghwa realized just how exhausted he was after everything. He allowed Yunho to change the dressings on his other wounds, deeming them all to be healing well, and by the time that was over he was desperate to fall asleep. He blinked sluggishly, looking at Hongjoong. 

“You look exhausted,” he commented, and Seonghwa nodded. “Do you want me to move you to your bed? You have been on this floor the whole time, it is no wonder why you have not been sleeping well.” 

But something about that made Seonghwa feel nervous, so he shook his head. “No, wanna stay here,” he murmured, rubbing at his good eye with the back of his hand. He didn’t want to lie down, because he feared that he would panic in his sleep, that he would forget where he was. The floor wasn’t very comfortable, but at least he had been free of nightmares down here. 

Hongjoong searched his face for a moment before letting the topic go. “Do you want to be alone, or would you like for one of us to stay?” he asked next, and Seonghwa blinked hard, yawning. 

“Stay,” he whispered, gripping Hongjoong’s wrist with both of his hands, suddenly desperate. “Please.” 

Using his free hand, Hongjoong reached out to brush a lock of hair behind Seonghwa’s ear, his touch lingering against his cheek for a moment. “Always, my star.” 

Chapter Text

Regulation #17: Vampires are forbidden from killing their own kind. In the instance of violation to this regulation, a trial must be held by the vampire-led council to determine the fate of the offender. 

~

The day after the surgery, Seonghwa finally asked Hongjoong to bring him a few pieces of paper, an envelope, and a pen. Wooyoung had been on his mind constantly, and now that his injuries were mostly taken care of, he wanted to write a letter. He wasn’t ready to see Wooyoung yet, for he hadn’t even seen any of the others aside from Yunho and Hongjoong, but he hoped that his written words would still help the boy to heal in the meantime. 

Hongjoong had also provided him with a book to lean on, and Seonghwa rested it against his uninjured leg with the paper positioned on top, holding the pen in his hand as he mulled over what he wanted to write. So many thoughts were always swirling around inside of his mind, but writing them down would help him to organize what he wanted to say, so that Wooyoung would not misunderstand. 

He thought back to the first letter he had written all those months ago, and although the actual words he had written were now fuzzy in his memory, he still remembered the feelings he had tried to convey. What had mattered most to him was making sure that Wooyoung knew that Seonghwa didn’t blame him for what happened, that he didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t afraid of him. Those had been Wooyoung’s greatest fears at the time, and Seonghwa was sure that this time was no different in that regard. 

So he pressed the tip of the pen to the paper, and he started to write the words that came straight from his heart. His handwriting was a bit unsteady, but at least it was legible. 

Dear Wooyoung, 

I miss you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot. I have so much that I want to say to you, and I hate that I don’t know how you’re doing. The others have told me things, but they’re always so vague. So I hope that you’ll write me back, because I want to hear it from you. 

Is it really dark, inside of your mind right now? Because it’s been dark for me, too. But I just want you to remember that it won’t be dark forever. Lights can always be turned back on, and you are the brightest person I know. 

For most of my life, everything was dark. It was only once I met all of you that I realized even I had a certain light inside of me - all I ever had to do was have the strength to turn it back on. I know you feel like the hurt will never end. I know you feel guilty, like all of this is your fault. But it only hurts this much because of how much you care. So lean into the hurt, if you can. It means that you’re alive, that you still have a heart, that you’re the same boy you’ve always been. 

Don’t try to block it all out. You have to let yourself feel. Even if that means you want to scream, or cry, or punch something, that’s okay. That’s part of the process, you know? It means you’re alive, that you’re still fighting. And I know that maybe you don’t care about that right now, maybe you’d rather stop fighting entirely, but if you won’t do it for yourself then do it for me. 

I need you, Wooyoung. I don’t blame you for a single thing. I saw how hard you tried to fight the hypnosis, even when everything was out of your control, and that touched my heart more than you will ever know. There are a lot of things right now that I’m unsure of, but you are not one of those things. I hope you believe me when I say that. 

To be honest, I can’t imagine how terrifying all of that must have been for you. After the first time, you were so happy to not be a fledgling anymore, to be sure that you wouldn’t hurt me, and then this happened. And it is not your fault . The person who did this is the only one to blame, and they will be brought to justice. You know who our coven leader is, after all. 

I know you had your control taken away, that everything felt so far beyond your reach. I know that your own guilt must be so heavy, too heavy for one heart to hold. And Wooyoung, I am so sorry that this happened to you. But all of this was out of your hands. You did everything right. No one could have stopped this, and now all we can do is try to heal. 

Even when people break, we can still heal. And I’m trying my hardest to heal, mostly for you. So if I can do that, then can you try to heal for me too? That would make me happy, I think. And I’d really like to feel happy again. 

Please, Wooyoung. Write me back. 

Love, Seonghwa

P.S. You’ll always be an angel to me, no matter what. So don’t let this clip your wings. 

By the time he was finished writing, the muscles in his hand were cramping and his cheeks were wet. He folded up the paper as nicely as he could manage, sliding the letter into the envelope and sealing it closed. Turning it over, he wrote Wooyoung’s name on the outside, staring down at it for a moment. 

He hoped that Wooyoung would write back to him, because then at least he would know that he was okay. All he could think about was how upset Wooyoung had been the first time he had attacked Seonghwa, and the damage back then had only been temporary. This time… well, this time was different, but he hoped that Wooyoung would read his letter and write him back. 

That was all he wanted. 

He handed off the letter to Hongjoong when he returned, and just as the moon was beginning to sink towards the horizon, a knock sounded against Seonghwa’s door. “You can come in,” he said, but the voice that answered him was one he hadn’t heard since he was human. 

“Seonghwa, it’s me,” San croaked, his words muffled by the wood between them. “It’s San. Can I - can I come in?” 

Sitting up straighter, Seonghwa’s heart leapt into his throat, and he gripped the bottom hem of his sweater as he fought to keep fear from surging. This was just San; nothing was going to happen to him. No one was going to hurt him. 

And yet, in the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but worry that this wasn’t really San, that he was being controlled by someone else, just like Wooyoung had been. “Wait,” Seonghwa blurted, swallowing as he tried to keep his voice from shaking. “Sorry. I just - um, I don’t know.” 

“That’s okay. I just wanted to bring you a letter. Wooyoung wrote it for you, after reading the one that you wrote for him.” San paused, and when he spoke again, his voice was thick with emotion. “Thank you for doing that. Really, thank you.” 

Seonghwa’s fears melted away at that, because that had to be the real San. His concern for Wooyoung was audible, and Seonghwa knew without even seeing him that he was distraught. He had to be; he was so in love with Wooyoung. He had brought Wooyoung into this life, and he had only ever struggled from the start. 

Perhaps he hadn’t been directly involved in the attack, but he was just as wounded by it, albeit in a different way. Seonghwa parted his lips, inhaling to beat back the last of his fear. “Come in,” he decided, keeping his back pressed against the wall opposite the door. “Just… stay by the door. But you can come in.” 

The doorknob turned as soon as Seonghwa went quiet again, and the door swung open slowly, revealing San’s familiar figure as he shuffled into the room. His hands were balled up at his sides, an envelope held within one of them, and his shoulders were slumped, defeat written in his posture. Seonghwa’s heart dropped at the sight of him. 

San lifted his head to look at Seonghwa, revealing bloodshot eyes lined with red, shining with tears. “Thanks,” he whispered, standing there by the door. He left it slightly ajar, which Seonghwa appreciated. “For letting me come in.” 

“Of course.” Seonghwa pressed his lips together, unsure of what to say. Did San want to talk about anything, or had he only come to drop off the letter? “Are you… are you okay?” 

One simple question. That was all it took for San’s face to crumble, tears leaking from his eyes as he squeezed them shut, his lips quivering. He fell to the floor in a heap, pressing his hands over his face, his shoulders shaking with the force of repressed cries. 

A noose wrapped around Seonghwa’s heart, pulling tight. “Oh, San…” Seonghwa’s own eye filled with tears then, for it hurt him to see his friend like this. This was a hard time for everyone, but he hadn’t expected this. “I know how you feel,” he said, for that was the best comfort he could give. He wasn’t in the right state of mind to provide the comfort he normally would have, for he was wounded too, struggling to recover. 

“No,” San croaked, rubbing at his eyes with enough force to make Seonghwa wince. “The way I feel, it’s - it’s nothing compared to the way you must feel. I told myself that I wouldn’t do this. That’s why I didn’t come earlier - I didn’t want to burden you with this. I’m - I’m sorry. I’ll go. I just want to give you the letter-” 

“San, hold on,” Seonghwa interrupted, his voice soft. In a way, he was grateful to have someone else’s hurt to focus on, for it distracted him from his own. “It’s okay. Don’t go yet, it’s alright. You can stay.” 

San hid his face in his hands again, soft choking sounds coming from his throat, like he was struggling to hold back sobs. Seeing him like this left Seonghwa stunned, and he blinked hard before opening his mouth to speak again. “You can talk to me, if you want. I wouldn’t mind.” 

But San shook his head, not even hesitating to consider the offer. “No, it’s not right. I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t.” 

“I want to know how Wooyoung is doing. I want to know how all of you are doing. But every time I ask Hongjoong or Yunho about that, they give me vague answers, answers that I know aren’t real. They do it to protect me, so that I can focus on my own healing, I know that. But it’s awful, to sit here in this room all day and know nothing.” He sucked in a long breath, his gaze never moving away from San. “You can tell me, San. I will listen. I can’t promise the best comfort, but… I’ll still listen.” 

When San didn’t respond after almost a minute, Seonghwa expected him to refuse entirely. But he didn’t budge from his current position on the floor either, still hiding his face, his body visibly wracked with barely contained sobs. 

At last, he did speak, his voice small and wavering. “What do you do when the one you love more than anyone else in this world hates himself?” 

The words hung heavy in the air, pulling all of the color from the room, draining the world of life. Seonghwa stopped breathing, stopped blinking as he stared at San, his limbs turning to lead. 

“What do you do when he hates himself for what he did, even though it wasn’t even really him? But he remembers all of it, he remembers what it felt like. He remembers everything except the identity of the person who did this to him. What am I supposed to do? How - how can I possibly fix that?” San finally looked up at Seonghwa then, his face shining with tears. 

“What do I do? I just - I don’t know what to do. Everything I say is wrong, everything I do is not enough. I’m terrified that he’s going to - to give up. I’m so scared, because bad things keep happening to him, and now he thinks that he did something to deserve it. But how can he say that when he’s the sun? He’s my sun, Seonghwa. And I just don’t know what to do. I need help.” His voice cracked as a soft sob escaped, a tear dripping from his chin. “Help me. Please.” 

Seonghwa could do nothing but stare at San, the tears in his eye leaking down his face. The tear duct of his damaged eye was still intact, and saltwater soaked his bandages, a dull sting surrounding his healing wound. 

Desperation was not new to Seonghwa. He had carried it with him all his life, had struggled to bear its weight at some times more than others. At eight years old with a gun pressed against his head, he had emptied his pockets of a few grimy coins, desperate to keep a bullet from lodging in his skull. At twelve years old with the weight of an unfamiliar man pressing him into the concrete, he had retreated to a faraway place inside of his own mind, desperate to protect what little innocence he had left. At twenty-seven years old with the weight of a familiar vampire pressing him into the dirt, he had used the last of his strength for an embrace, desperate to convey a feeling that would die along with his humanity. A feeling of warmth, of comfort. 

He recognized that same desperation in San’s face now. The desperation of trying to cradle water in your hands, only for it to run right through your fingers. San carried with him a burden that was too large for one person to bear, and Seonghwa was now watching him buckle under its weight, his muscles trembling and his bones creaking. 

Someone like Seonghwa was in no position to help, not after his own suffering. He was hardly in a position to function; he couldn’t even stand, and he was too afraid to leave the confines of his room, for this was the only place where he felt safe. His own problems were already far too much for him to bear; he could not provide San with the same kind of help that he would have been able to provide before all of this. 

But when San looked at him like that, Seonghwa couldn’t leave him behind, either. He couldn’t turn down a request for help, not when his own requests had been turned down time and time again as a child, until he had stopped asking entirely. He didn’t want San to reach that point. 

So he breathed his answer into the void that separated the two of them. “Of course I will.” 

He didn’t know what kind of help he would be able to provide, but he needed San to know that the intent was there, that he wasn’t alone. Sometimes, that was all it took to lessen some of the pain. 

San stared back at him, the tears still dripping down his cheeks, his lips quivering with every unsteady hitch of breath. Curled up on the floor like this, he didn’t look like a vampire who had been alive far longer than any human. He looked like a boy. He looked scared, and Seonghwa just wanted to soften the lines that creased his face. 

Finally, San seemed to register Seonghwa’s response, and he clutched the letter in his hands close to his chest. “Please read this,” he whispered, his fingers shaking against the thick paper envelope. “I don’t know what it says, he didn’t tell me, but the best way for you to help me is to read it, and to write him back.” 

Seonghwa would have done that anyway, so he nodded, and some of the tension bled from San’s shoulders as he shook his head, still crying. “Ever since he woke up, he’s just been so far away. It’s nothing like the last time - back then, he cried right away, and panicked and started cooking in an attempt to make it up to you. But this time… he hasn’t even cried, Seonghwa. Not one single tear. He doesn’t respond to anything. He won’t tell me how he feels; I know him well enough to know anyway,  but if he won’t talk to me then I don’t know how to fix it.” 

His voice broke, and he ran his hands over his face again, streaking salty tears down past his jaw. “I’ve been so afraid that - that he’ll never be the same. His eyes are totally dead, and even when he looks at me I can tell he’s not really present. But when I showed him that letter, I finally saw something there. A glimmer of light, just for a second. He snatched the letter from me, and he hasn’t let go of it since. He rolled it up, and he won’t put it down. So… please, I don’t know what your letter said, but keep writing to him.” 

Guilt spread through Seonghwa’s chest as he listened to San speak, for he should have written to Wooyoung sooner. He had known that Wooyoung would be in bad shape after what had happened, but to hear the truth from San was crippling. Not only because of his words themselves, but also his tone, and the complete distress held within it. 

“I will,” he said, his throat burning. He didn’t have the strength to string together sentences, but San seemed to draw enough comfort from those two words. 

“Thank you.” San inhaled a long breath, his eyes falling closed for a moment. “I’m sorry for - for coming here and burdening you with this. I’m sorry for not even asking about you. This has me so screwed up, I forget what life is supposed to be like. It feels like this - this dark cloud that covers everything, that blocks out all of the light that used to exist around here. And sometimes I feel like the light is never coming back.” 

He wasn’t alone in that feeling. Everyone in this house had to feel the same way, even the ones whom Seonghwa hadn’t seen since his own death. That was the risk of having a family, of choosing to love and be loved in return. When terrible things happened, that pain was felt by everyone. 

Seonghwa didn’t respond right away, trying to find the right words. “Pain does not have morals,” he murmured, his fingers fidgeting against his shirt. “We don’t hurt because we’re bad. You didn’t do anything wrong.” His chest tightened, and he shook his head. “None of us did.” 

“That’s the worst part,” San replied. “It’s not fair.”

Bitterness curled in the pit of Seonghwa’s stomach. How many times had he uttered those same words? Too many to count, and it had never gotten him anywhere. “I know. It’s not,” he croaked. “And I hate it. I wish the world was different.” 

He didn’t add anything else, because he didn’t have it in him to force optimism, not when a gaping part of him wished that he had died out in the forest. San kept quiet too, and they sat there in their shared misery, because at least they weren’t alone. 

Eventually, San shifted in order to set the envelope in his hands down on the floor. He pushed it forward, and the letter slid across the floor, coming to a stop right in front of Seonghwa. “I was surprised that he wrote to you,” San admitted, and even from here Seonghwa could make out the small flakes of salt that were now stuck to the skin of his face, a product of his drying tears. “I didn’t think he would.” 

“I asked him to,” Seonghwa whispered, picking up the envelope and holding it in his hands. Nothing was written on the outside this time, but it didn’t matter. The envelope alone was enough. “In my letter, I asked him to write me back.” 

And he didn’t care what Wooyoung had decided to write. He didn’t care if the boy had written a whole page, or one sentence, or just a single word. All he cared about was the envelope in his hands, because it was so much more than just a letter.

The letter was proof that Wooyoung was still in there, somewhere. 

The physical weight of the envelope in his hands was proof that neither of them had died that day. 

“I’ll go, so you can read it,” San said, getting back to his feet. He shuffled towards the door, opening it but lingering in the room for another moment. “Thank you for listening to me. And for writing to him.” 

Seonghwa nodded, watching San as he stood there in the doorway, the light from the hall outlining his burdened frame. “Come again, if you want.” The offer was quiet, barely audible at all, but San still heard it. He answered with a nod of his own, and then he slipped out into the hall, closing the door behind him. 

Alone once more, Seonghwa slid his thumb under the seal of the envelope, carefully breaking it open. With his heart in this throat, he pulled out the paper inside, folded up in order to fit. He unfolded it now, pressing his lips together tight as he exposed the words written on the page, the pain in his chest expanding at the sight of that familiar handwriting. 

This time, no tears had splashed onto the page and warped the ink, just as San had mentioned. But the handwriting was still shaky, betraying the emotion hidden inside of the print. The letter lacked punctuation, with no opening or closing either. Seonghwa began to read, his remaining eye glued to the page. 

Im sorry

Its so dark inside of my head I just want it all to go away

I dont want to feel I just feel scared and bad

I miss my mom

Im sorry seonghwa Im sorry Im sory Im sorry 

Angels dont hurt people they love Im not an angel I never was one

Im sorry that I killed you it should have been me instead

A strangled sound died in Seonghwa’s throat as he pressed a shaking hand over his mouth, his vision immediately blurring. Every line was so blunt, so devoid of hope that Seonghwa felt his own heart wither, his ears ringing. 

All this time, everyone around him had been so gentle, talking to him with delicate words and keeping the real, blunt truths under wraps. But this letter was riddled with raw pain, so visceral that Seonghwa swore he could feel it, his nerves screaming. 

He knew that Wooyoung had written this, but his mind refused to comprehend it. All he could do was stare down at the page, scanning over the words again and again, his frame beginning to tremble. He couldn’t reconcile the image of Wooyoung that lived in his head with the words on this page. All of it was wrong. 

With trembling hands, Seonghwa scrabbled for a piece of paper from the small stack at his side, left there by Hongjoong earlier. He didn’t bother leaning on the book this time, instead hunching over to write against the floor as he pressed his pen to the page, all of the broken parts inside of him jostling as he moved. 

Without any hesitation this time, he started to write. He didn’t waste time trying to choose the right words, because he wanted Wooyoung to sense his own pain through this letter as well. Maybe then, he would show some kind of reaction. 

Thank you for writing to me. I’m so sorry for everything, Wooyoung. I’m so sorry that my presence in your life has caused this same thing to happen twice. 

I don’t want you to die. You being alive is part of the reason why I’m trying to be brave, so that I can get better and see you again. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you, no matter what happens. I promise. 

I have no idea if I ever had siblings, because I don’t know anything about my real family, but I think that from the moment I met you that void inside of me was finally filled. You feel like my little brother, and all I want to do is make sure that you’re okay. But you’re not, I know you’re not, and that’s okay. Thank you for being honest with me in your letter. 

To be honest, I’m not okay either. Everything hurts. And I’m really scared that I’ll be stuck like this forever. 

But none of that is your fault. I don’t blame you, and I never will. I still love you just as much as I did before this happened. I promise. 

Just keep writing to me. Please. Because that’s the only way for me to know how you’re really doing. 

I love you, angel

Once he finished writing, Seonghwa folded the note and waited for Hongjoong to come back so that he could ask him to deliver it, trying to ignore the aching hollow feeling in his stomach. He continually ran his fingers over the folds in the paper, until his fatigue caused his eyes to close, his lips parted slightly in sleep. The sun rose outside of his window, and the house went silent as its nocturnal occupants slept the day away. 

~

After waking, Seonghwa didn’t have to wait long for Hongjoong to appear, for he always came to check on Seonghwa as soon as night fell. A soft knock sounded against the door, the shadows of feet visible in the gap over the floor. . 

“Come in,” Seonghwa said, and the door opened just enough for Hongjoong to step inside. He wasn’t alone, however, and Seonghwa stiffened when he noticed the outline of another person lingering in the hallway. 

“Relax, it is okay,” Hongjoong soothed, noticing the apprehension in Seonghwa’s expression right away. “It is only Jongho. He wanted to come see you, and I thought that you would be able to handle it. I heard that you spoke with San yesterday.” 

Jongho shuffled forward enough for Seonghwa to actually see his face, and he sucked in a deep breath as he forced himself to remain calm, nodding softly. After all, Yunho had declared his wounds to be healing well, and it wouldn’t be long until he had no choice but to stand before the council as an undocumented vampire. If he couldn’t even stand to be around the vampires whom he knew would never hurt him, then he would have an even harder time when that time came. 

Despite the anxiety that thrummed just beneath his skin, Seonghwa nodded. “It’s okay. You can come in,” he said, staring at Jongho. After all that had changed since Seonghwa had become a vampire, it was nice to see someone who looked familiar, and when he looked at Jongho he was able to pretend that nothing had changed at all. He still wore that same soft smile, his eyes just as warm as they had always been as he entered the room, leaving the door open a crack. 

Without hesitation, Hongjoong came right to Seonghwa’s side, sitting down beside him and placing a gentle hand on his knee. His presence alone was enough to soothe Seonghwa’s fear, and his voice was warm as he spoke again, gesturing towards Jongho with his other hand. “I figured that talking to him may be good for you. After all, he remembers what it was like to be a fledgling more than myself or Yunho do.” 

He did have a point - Jongho and Yeosang had the most recent memories of being a fledgling, aside from Wooyoung, who was in no state to be giving insight into that period of time. Seonghwa nodded, pursing his lips as he studied Jongho, watching as he sat down as well. He was still on the other side of the room, which Seonghwa appreciated; he would be able to think more clearly with some distance between them. 

“Hi, Seonghwa,” Jongho greeted, raising one of his hands in a simple wave. Even then, he didn’t move too quickly, allowing Seonghwa to easily track his movements. “You look like you’re healing up well. I’m glad. We’ve all missed you a lot, you know. It’s not the same without you around.” 

Fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, Seonghwa looked down at the floor. If he were still a human, he would be blushing now. “Thanks,” he breathed, for those words meant a lot to him, more than Jongho could possibly know.

A sharp pain echoed in the cavern of Seonghwa’s stomach as soon as he closed his mouth, and he wrapped his arms around his middle, his eyes flying open wide as he froze. Immediately, Hongjoong tensed beside him, scanning his face with clear concern. “What is it?” he asked, insistent as his grip tightened around Seonghwa’s knee. “Are you alright? Are you in pain?” 

Trying to quell his own panic, Seonghwa shook his head, although he was terrified as another pain shot through his stomach. He knew what it meant, but he didn’t want to face the truth. Living as a vampire was bearable as long as he ignored the new foundation of his survival. 

“He’s okay,” Jongho said, and Seonghwa looked up at him to find sympathy etched into his features, his lips downturned at the corners. “It’s hunger, isn’t it?” 

Bile coated the back of Seonghwa’s tongue as he nodded, clutching his stomach, his nails digging into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. Hongjoong’s concerned gaze burned into his skin, but he kept his attention on Jongho, for he could sense an understanding there. 

Parting his lips, he tried to speak, but no sound came out. Swallowing down bile, he tried again. “I don’t want to drink any blood,” he rasped, terror laced through his words. “I can’t. I really can’t. But - but I feel so…”

“Hungry?” Jongho finished, and Seonghwa nodded, his skin burning with shame. “Hey, it’s okay. Aversion to blood as a fledgling is completely normal. I mean, you remember how it was for Wooyoung.” 

But Seonghwa only shook his head, for his fear was born from so much more than that. “Blood makes me panic. I’ve been that way for my whole life. I - I can’t drink it. I can barely even look at it.” He bit down hard on his bottom lip, clenching his hands into fists. 

Familiar hands gently loosened his fingers, massaging the tension away. “We can give it to you in a different kind of bag, where you will not be able to see the contents. You can even drink like Yunho does, with a straw. There are ways that we can make this easier for you, darling. But you need to be willing to try.” Hongjoong’s gaze was piercing, his touch gentle. “Your hunger is going to grow out of your control, otherwise.” 

Seonghwa knew that he was right, for he remembered all of those months when Wooyoung had struggled to drink blood, confining himself to the third floor of the house as his hunger grew to levels beyond his control. The thought of drinking blood by choice was paralyzing, but losing control would be even worse. 

With a shuddering sigh, Seonghwa rested his head in his hands, his throat constricting painfully. “I’ll try,” he whispered, afraid to say the words any louder. His stomach was already churning, but he had no other choice. 

“I can go prepare it for you, if you want to give it a try. I’ll make it so that you can’t even see what’s held inside, does that sound alright?” Jongho offered, and Seonghwa could only manage a nod. He kept his gaze trained on the floor, listening as Jongho rose and left the room, the soft sound of his footsteps fading away as he moved down the hallway. 

A gentle hand rubbed against Seonghwa’s back, and he flinched at the sudden touch, his heart leaping into his throat as his head jerked out of his hands to look in the direction of the contact. “Sorry, sorry,” Hongjoong apologized, his eyes wide with concern as he removed his hand from Seonghwa’s back, keeping his expression calm. “I did not mean to scare you. I only wanted to provide some comfort, because I thought you might need it.” 

Seonghwa tried to wrangle his own panic, wishing that he could just behave normally. He rubbed a hand over his eye, blinking hard. “It’s fine, sorry,” he murmured, struggling to remain present. “I didn’t mean to react like that.” 

“There is no need to apologize. I understand.” Hongjoong forced a soft smile, keeping his hands to himself now. “You will feel better when your hunger is gone. You are having a hard time managing your thoughts, is that right?” 

Mouth running dry, Seonghwa nodded. “Yeah,” he breathed. “I can’t seem to - to keep myself here. Like I don’t even have control over that. I - I don’t have control over anything.” The mere acknowledgment of that made him sick, for he knew that if a human were to step inside of this house, he would have no control over his own bloodlust. He understood exactly how Wooyoung had felt as a fledgling, now, and he hated it. 

“I know, darling. The fledgling period is not easy on anyone, but given your particular circumstances, the way you feel is to be expected. But you are handling this very well. I am very proud of you.” Hongjoong was trying to provide comfort, Seonghwa understood that, but the words deflected right off of him, hardly penetrating his swirling thoughts at all. 

He recalled something that San had said to him, a long time ago. Seonghwa had asked him how a fledgling managed to survive without a sire, in the rare case in which that happened, and he shivered now as the response he had received echoed within the hollow chambers of his mind. 

Even if another vampire steps in to fill the role of sire, the connection will never be the same as a fledgling and the one who turned them. It requires an immense amount of control, and from what I know, it’s a torturous process.

“Wooyoung is my sire,” Seonghwa murmured, staring at the floor without actually seeing a thing. “But I can’t be around him. That will only make this harder, won’t it?” He knew the answer to his own question, but he asked it anyway, his thoughts spiraling out of control. Between the traumatic nature of his death and his current predicament, the odds were stacked against him completely. “I don’t think I can do this. I don’t.” 

“You are already doing it, Seonghwa. And you are doing great, all things considered,” Hongjoong insisted, more force behind his tone now. “This process is not easy, but you will come out the other side. And yes, you are correct that having the help of your sire makes it more bearable, but you will not be apart from Wooyoung forever. Even if that were not the case, though, it is still manageable to handle the fledgling period alone. I did it, after all.” 

His final words were tinged with bitterness, and Seonghwa nodded, clamping his mouth shut. He dug his nails into his palms, the dull pain keeping his mind clear. 

After another minute Jongho finally returned, the sound of his incoming footsteps making Seonghwa’s stomach drop to the floor. He entered the room again with something in his hands now, although it didn’t look like the blood bags that Seonghwa was used to seeing. The outside was blue and entirely opaque, none of the blood held inside actually visible. A straw extended from the top, almost like a juice box. 

“A lot of fledglings use these,” Jongho explained as he held it out for Seonghwa to see more clearly. Hongjoong rose from Seonghwa’s side to take it from Jongho before coming back to his spot along the floor, handing it to Seonghwa. The material felt like sturdy plastic, but it was soft, squishing slightly between his fingers. 

He stared at it, relieved that the blood was not visible whatsoever. Although he still knew what was held inside, he wouldn’t even be able to touch a regular blood bag without gagging, so this felt more manageable. 

“Jongho is right. There are many different kinds of blood bags that can be used, another benefit of modern technology,” Hongjoong added, watching Seonghwa as he studied the bag, running his fingers along the outside and touching the straw. Even the straw was blue, so no blood would be visible through it either. “I think this one will make it easier for you.” 

Staring down at the straw, Seonghwa chewed at the inside of his cheek for a moment, trying to calm his nerves before he attempted to drink from the bag. If he was already in a state of panic beforehand, he would stand no chance of success, and his hunger was slowly becoming unbearable. He had no choice; he at least had to try. 

Forcing himself to intake a long breath, he raised the straw to his parted lips with a shaky hand. He paused for a second before sucking at the straw, drawing up the liquid from inside of the bag. Closing his eyes, he pretended that he was drinking from a juice box, like one of the ones that Hongjoong had always kept by his bed for Seonghwa to drink after feedings. 

However, the moment the blood touched his tongue, the illusion shattered. He threw down the bag at the first taste of the thick, metallic substance, gagging instantly. Both of his hands flew to his throat, clutching at the area over his bandages as he coughed, squeezing his eye shut as reflexive tears blurred his vision. 

Bile moved sluggishly up his throat, filling his mouth with bitterness. Even that tasted of blood, and Seonghwa didn’t even realize that he was tearing at the bandages along his neck until Hongjoong caught his hands, forcing him to stop. He wanted to reach into his throat and remove the taste, to tear it all away, his entire frame shaking violently as he shook his head. “N-no,” he choked out, trying to tear his hands out of Hongjoong’s grasp. “Please, get - get off. Get off me. Don’ hurt me.” 

“No one is hurting you, Seonghwa. You are in your room. You are okay.” Hongjoong’s voice reached his ears as if through a film, and Seonghwa choked on a sob as he slumped back against the wall, all of the fight draining out of him at once. His hands were still in Hongjoong’s grasp, and he tugged weakly again, skin crawling. 

This time, Hongjoong let go, and Seonghwa wrapped his arms tight around himself. He still refused to open his eyes, tasting the blood on his tongue. Memories surged, the feeling of his throat torn open and blood bubbling up into his mouth. A strangled whimper passed through his lips, and when Hongjoong spoke again, he clung to the words this time, desperate to be pulled back to the present. 

“Nothing has happened to you. You are still in your room. The blood you taste in your mouth is only from the bag that I gave you; no one is hurting you. I promise. Trust me, Seonghwa. You can trust me.” The assurances washed over him one by one, and Seonghwa began to calm down as a result, hanging his head and blinking his eye open once more. 

The blood bag was still there on the floor, now in the middle of the room after Seonghwa had flung it away. His stomach churned at the mere sight of it, and he shook his head. “Get it away,” he whispered, unable to look away from it. “I don’t want it. I can’t do it.” 

“Okay, okay, do not worry. I will get rid of it.” Hongjoong stood and picked up the bag, leaving the room for just a second before coming back empty handed. “It is gone. See?” He held up both of his hands, and only then did Seonghwa relax. 

He wiped at his cheeks, his panic ebbing away to make room for regret. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it. I - I wanted to do it, but I just can’t. I can’t handle the blood, it reminds me too much of… of that night.” He shuddered as he spoke the words aloud, wrapping his arms more tightly around himself.

Instead of sitting back down, Hongjoong first reached for Seonghwa’s bed, pulling the folded throw blanket from the end of it. He sat down beside Seonghwa again, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders with care. Even though Seonghwa couldn’t feel the cold anymore, he still appreciated the gesture more than he could put into words. He looked at Hongjoong instead, and he hoped that the vulnerabilities in his expression would convey his gratitude. 

“I know, love. It is okay. You do not need to apologize. No one will ever be upset with you for that,” Hongjoong soothed. “It takes time to overcome such barriers to feeding, and that is okay, especially in your case. What matters is that you tried.” 

“But I’m so hungry,” Seonghwa whispered, throat burning. “I’m still so hungry.” 

Hongjoong sighed softly, nodding in understanding. “I know. I know you are, and I wish I could fix that for you. But… your instincts will take care of that feeling soon, and then you will feel normal again.” 

Swallowing back a whimper, Seonghwa gritted his teeth. “I don’t want to lose control. I’m… I’m afraid.” 

“We’ll leave some blood bags in here for you, hidden in a specific place for when your instincts-” Jongho began, but he stopped abruptly in the middle of his sentence, squinting at something. He wasn’t looking at Seonghwa or Hongjoong - rather, he was focused on the area above their heads. “Is that a bat?” 

Seonghwa’s eye flew open wide, and he craned his neck back to look at the window over his head, ignoring the muted pain that echoed through his wounded throat. Sure enough, the silhouetted outline of a bat fluttered outside of the window. The familiar animal was trying to flip upside down to cling to the top of the window, but she failed due to the unnatural bend in one of her wings. 

Guilt overcame every other emotion that Seonghwa had been feeling, and he tried to rise to his feet at the sight of Onyx, his injured knee making the task difficult. “Hey, Seonghwa, wait,” Hongjoong placated, pressing his hands gently against Seonghwa’s shoulders to keep him in place. “You are not healed yet.” 

“That’s Onyx,” he protested, gripping Hongjoong’s wrists. “She’s - she’s hurt. The humans who brought me into the woods, they hurt her when she tried to protect me. She needs help. Please, Hongjoong, she needs-” 

“I will let her in, but I need you to remain calm,” Hongjoong interrupted, still pressing down against Seonghwa’s shoulders. “I will let her in through the fire escape window, and Yunho can have a look at her wing. Does that sound okay?” 

Settling back down, Seonghwa nodded anxiously. Hongjoong wasted no time leaving the room, and Seonghwa looked up at Onyx through the glass to find her watching him, black eyes shining with pain. “Go to the fire escape window,” Seonghwa said to her, even though she couldn’t hear through the glass. “Please, Onyx. He will bring you inside.” 

She stared at him for another moment, and then she was gone, flying with an unnatural rhythm courtesy of her injuries. Seonghwa fisted his hands in his hair, the guilt in his chest continuing to build as the seconds passed by. “I forgot about her,” he breathed, disgusted with himself. “She tried to save me, and I completely forgot about her.” 

“You’ve had a lot to recover from,” Jongho said gently, reminding Seonghwa that he was still there, although he continued to maintain his distance. “Be gentle with yourself.” 

That was a sentiment that Seonghwa had never had the privilege to indulge in, and the words struck him hard. His response died on his lips, and he pressed his fingers to his mouth. Did he really deserve to receive gentleness, especially from himself? His first instinct was to tear himself to shreds for forgetting about Onyx, but would that really solve anything? He would be better off focusing his attentions on her now, to make up for the time they had lost. 

Before he could think of anything else to say, Hongjoong appeared back in the doorway, this time with Yunho in tow. As the doctor came into view, Seonghwa’s focus immediately shifted to the small black bundle in his hands. Despite her injuries, Onyx flew across the room to land on Seonghwa’s shoulder. A soft wetness touched Seonghwa’s cheek, and after a moment he realized that she was licking him, much like a dog would do. 

“I’m so sorry,” he breathed, using the pad of a finger to gently pet along her back, taking care not to aggravate any injuries. She was covered in small scratches and scrapes, and her right wing was bent out of shape. Still, she nuzzled into Seonghwa’s neck, her way of conveying forgiveness. 

Seonghwa inhaled a shaky breath, blinking back tears. “Yunho is going to help you. He’s my friend. He’s really good at treating injuries; he did it for me, too. Can you please let him help you?” 

She looked back at him, and he watched as her head bobbed up and down. Almost like she was nodding, like she had understood every word from his lips. Her mannerisms were oddly human, more so now than ever before. 

Still, Seonghwa smiled at her; he was grateful that she was okay more than anything else. “You almost died to save me. Thank you, Onyx.” 

He could have sworn that she smiled back at him, eyes twinkling. 

~

When Seonghwa’s hunger finally overcame the last of his control, he was alone in his bedroom. Only Onyx was with him, resting in a nest of Seonghwa’s clothing that he had arranged for her after Yunho had fixed her wing. She wouldn’t be able to fly until the bones healed, but she was a better patient than expected; as long as she was near Seonghwa, she was content with remaining on the ground. 

As promised, Hongjoong had brought a small refrigerator into Seonghwa’s room, placing it within his reach. He couldn’t see the contents without opening the door, but he still knew that the refrigerator was filled with blood bags. 

His consciousness started to become foggy over a short period of time, and he resisted the urge to call for Hongjoong, for he was attending to council duties in order to keep up appearances. Seonghwa didn’t want anyone else to see him lose control, so he forced himself to bear it all alone, his uninjured leg pulled up to his chest. 

Set adrift within his own mind, his hunger crawled to the forefront of his focus, impossible for him to ignore any longer. The hollow feeling swallowed him whole, rewriting his thoughts, changing his motivations. All that mattered was blood, and he forgot about his aversions to it, the traumatic memories that had held him back until now. 

Moving with unnaturally sharp movements, Seonghwa clawed at the door to the fridge, pulling it open to expose the blood bags inside. His stomach growled loudly, and saliva filled his mouth, an automatic response that persisted even in death. Snatching the nearest bag, he sunk his fangs into the side, completely ignoring the straw that stuck out from the top. He desperately needed to satisfy his hunger; that was all that he cared about. 

He sucked out the contents of the first bag before moving to the next, drawing out the blood with his fangs as fast as physically possible, a low growl persisting in the back of his throat. The room around him fell away, the blood from the bag dripping down the sides and over his fingers, sliding down his throat and filling the void inside of him. 

Last time this had happened, after he had first been turned, the hole in his neck had made it difficult for him to actually fully consume all of the blood he sucked out of each bag. But now, that wasn’t a problem anymore, the bandages blocking off the damage to his throat as it healed. He didn’t have to go through nearly as many bags to feel satisfied, and by the time he finished the fifth one, the hollow sensation was gone. 

The empty bag dropped out of his hands, falling to the floor alongside the others, and Seonghwa inhaled a straining gasp as he scrambled backwards, moving away from the aftermath of his loss of control. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from it, however; the blood, the torn open bags, the open refrigerator.

Blood coated the inside of his mouth, and he gagged on it violently, a small amount coming back up his throat and dripping out from between his lips. Most of it stayed down, however, no matter how hard he tried to expel the blood from his body. He didn’t want it inside of him, but his body seemed to hold onto it, using it to replenish all of the needs that had been neglected since Seonghwa’s previous feeding. 

With shaking hands, he dug his nails into the bandages around his throat again, desperate to remove the taste from his mouth. Saliva dripped to the floor from the slack position of his mouth, tinged pink with blood. His entire body was shuddering now, and he fell fully to the ground as he choked on a sob, clutching his throat and pulling his good knee to his chest. 

Tears blurred his vision, and they rolled down his cheeks with no resistance. His chest ached terribly, and he moved his hands there instead, scratching at his skin through his shirt, almost like he wanted to reach inside and pull his heart out with his own two hands. That wouldn’t even matter, though; he couldn’t die, no matter how much he wanted to. 

A gentle weight nudged against the top of his head, and he struggled to see Onyx through his tears, for she had left her nest to drag her way over to him. She stared back at him, nudging his cheek with her uninjured wing. “Sorry,” Seonghwa whispered, running a shaky hand to his face. “I’m - I’m okay. You can go rest.” 

She didn’t move, however, and Seonghwa’s face crumbled. “I can’t do it,” he said, voice cracking as he shook his head, crying softly. He didn’t want anyone to hear him, but he couldn’t hold it all in any longer, either. “I - I can’t. You chose the wrong person to grow attached to, girl. There’s no hope for me anymore.” 

A gut-wrenching sob tore out of Seonghwa’s chest, and he finally just let himself cry, covering his face with his hands. He sounded horrible, choking and gagging and crying all at once, but in a way it was also a relief. He couldn’t hold it all in anymore, he just couldn’t. 

“I j-just want everything to be normal again. I want to see everyone and not be treated like I’m seconds away from breaking into pieces. But I can’t even fault them for treating me like that, because it’s true. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this, I don’t. I really - I don’t think I can.” He bit down on his lip hard, tears dripping down to the floor and staining the wood. 

Blinking hard, he looked at Onyx, reaching out a shaking hand to pat the top of her head. “I think it would be nice to be like you,” he whispered. “I would like to be able to fly away when things get hard. I hate that I’m stuck here on the ground. I could have saved myself from a lot of pain if only I knew how to fly.” 

A bitter smile crossed his lips at that, for those memories would never leave, no matter how much time had passed since then. “I used to look up at the sky when I was little, and hope that in the next life I would come back as something with wings. A bird, a bat, anything. Maybe a butterfly. But now I can’t even wish for that, because I’m already dead. There is no next life for me, not anymore. This one is all I’ve got, and that terrifies me more than I’ve been willing to admit.” Salt spread over his tongue as he spoke, tears flowing right into his mouth. He didn’t mind it, though, for at least it overcame the lingering taste of blood.

“It scares me that in a decade, I’ll still have all of this weight to bear. In a century, none of my memories will be gone. I see how it is for Hongjoong - his past still haunts him, no matter how much time has passed. One of my biggest comforts my whole life has been the knowledge that I’ll die one day, and none of the pain will be able to haunt me anymore. But now that’s not true.” 

Seonghwa rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling as he tried to breathe more evenly. Not that it even mattered, for he didn’t need air in the first place anymore. Tears streamed from his eyes and into the hollows of his ears, soaking into his hair. 

He stayed like that for a long while, arms spread out at his sides, his mind drifting. Onyx stayed at his side, nestled into the crook of his elbow, and he appreciated her company. Somehow, it was easier to admit his true feelings when talking to her. He couldn’t bear the expressions on the faces of everyone else; he was too afraid of disappointing them. 

When a soft knock sounded against his door, he was finally stirred from his daze, forcing himself back into a seated position as he blinked sluggishly. His tears had stopped eventually, but now his face was crusted with a thin layer of salt, and he rubbed at his cheeks to clear it away. “Come in.” 

The door opened a crack but no further, and a familiar face appeared in the small gap, one that Seonghwa hadn’t seen since before the attack. “Hi, Seonghwa,” Yeosang greeted, and something about his face finally brought Seonghwa some comfort. He was just so unassuming, so gentle in every way, and Seonghwa hadn’t realized how much he needed that until now. 

“You can come in,” Seonghwa said again, shifting back to sit against the wall once more. He carefully placed Onyx back in her nest, avoiding any contact with her injuries. 

Yeosang stepped inside, and someone else appeared behind him, taller and broader. “Hi,” Mingi greeted, raising a hand. “I can go if you’d rather only see one of us at a time, but I just wanted to see you. I just - I’ve been so worried.” 

A pang of pain shot through Seonghwa’s chest, for Mingi had been the first one to see him as a vampire, along with Yunho. If that was his last memory of Seonghwa, then it was no wonder that he was worried. Seonghwa forced himself to suck in a deep breath of air, hiding his shaking hands behind his back as he nodded. “You can come in, too.” 

As the two of them came into the room, Seonghwa watched as their focus shifted momentarily to the blood bags on the floor. He winced, ducking his head in shame. “Oh, did you…” Mingi trailed off, and Seonghwa made a soft, pained sound. He didn’t want them to know, even though everyone else had already claimed that losing control was normal for a fledgling. 

“It’s okay, Seonghwa,” Yeosang soothed, hardly reacting at all to the blood bags. “If you’ll let me come closer, I can clear those out of the room for you and close the refrigerator. Would that be okay? You might feel better once it’s all cleaned up.” 

Failing to find his voice, Seonghwa just nodded, although he kept a wary eye trained on Yeosang the entire time. He watched as the vampire cleared away the empty blood bags, hiding them behind his back to keep them out of Seonghwa’s view, and he even used the sleeve of his sweater to mop up the blood that had spilled onto the floor. 

“You don’t have to-” Seonghwa started, but Yeosang didn’t let him finish, flashing him a small smile. 

“It’s okay. This sweater was getting old, anyway.” Once he was finished, he left the room for a moment, returning with his hands empty and only a regular long sleeve shirt on. “I had this on underneath it,” he explained, and finally the two of them sat down near the door. Seonghwa wondered if someone had left a small garbage can outside of his door - he figured that was likely, unless Yeosang had just left the empty bags out there on the floor. 

Seonghwa ran his fingers over his cheeks, embarrassed about the clear tear tracks that had dried down on his skin. “Sorry,” he murmured, although he wasn’t even quite sure what he was apologizing for. He just felt like he had to, that was all. 

“How are you feeling?” Mingi asked, his eyes trailing over Seonghwa’s form, lingering on the bandages. Shifting uncomfortably, Seonghwa shrugged, and Yeosang nudged Mingi in the side. 

“I don’t think the way you’re staring at him is making him feel better,” Yeosang said, and Seonghwa ducked his head. 

However, Mingi just let out a soft laugh, not bothered by the comment at all. “You’re probably right. Sorry, Seonghwa - I’m just glad to see that you’re okay. I’ve really missed you a lot! But I knew you would be fine - you’re just one of those people.” 

Seonghwa’s confusion must have been easy to read, for Mingi was quick to elaborate. “I just mean, you know… you’re one of those people who can overcome anything. Like the main character in a story. That’s just what you remind me of.” 

All Seonghwa could do was stare back at him, blinking. “Now look what you did,” Yeosang muttered, bumping Mingi’s shoulder with his own. “I think you made him more confused.” 

If vampires could blush, Mingi’s cheeks would be turning pink by now, and Seonghwa eventually managed to shake his head. “No, it’s not - it’s not that. I’ve just never been told anything like that before. Do you… really think that?” Seonghwa had never really considered what other people might think of him, but Mingi’s analysis seemed like the least likely guess. After all, Seonghwa had never really done anything heroic, anything worthy of such a compliment. 

But Mingi didn’t hesitate as he nodded, his eyes lighting up. “Well, yeah! I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t believe it. When I see the way that you approach life, it makes me feel something. And I think that makes you special.”

“The - the way I approach life?” Seonghwa whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “Life has never really mattered much to me. I’ve spent most of my life waiting for it to end.” He winced at his own words, but he saw no reason to lie. He didn’t want Mingi to misunderstand what kind of person he was. 

Mingi sobered at that, but that glimmer in his eyes was still there, his expression holding an emotion that Seonghwa couldn’t quite read. “But you don’t let it show. In spite of all that, you’ve always been so nice. Even from the start, when you had every reason to be afraid of us and how we might treat you. I just think that you don’t give yourself enough credit. It’s really hard to find someone as kind as you are. You’ve never let your past harden you, and so I knew that even after all of this, that would still be true.” 

Something about Mingi’s faith in him made Seonghwa feel stronger, even when he didn’t always necessarily feel that way when he was alone. He was so used to picking out all of his own negative attributes, that he rarely ever acknowledged the other parts of himself. 

“I was turned in a traumatic way too, you know,” Mingi continued, and Seonghwa watched as he sighed, shoulders slumping. “I was killed, brutally. I only lived because Yunho found me and saved me, but I was leaving a whole life behind. But at that time, humans were terrified of vampires, even more than now. I didn’t understand that he had turned me to save my life. I - I hated him. For years after being turned, I was so volatile, so angry all the time. I was a fledgling for so long, because I refused to accept what I had become. I spent so much time wishing to go back to the past that I wasted so much time in the present.” 

His voice was a bit strangled now, and he coughed into a loosely curled fist. “I had never faced that kind of pain before. I had a nice life as a human; I was wealthy, and I never wanted for anything. But once I was turned, I tried to see my family one time, and they nearly killed me. I was the same person, but no one else saw it that way. So I blamed Yunho for all of it, even though he had really been the one to save me. I realized that later, but it took a long time.” 

Seonghwa had never heard about Mingi’s past in detail before, and the story struck him right in the heart, for he could hear the raw pain underlying Mingi’s words. Even after all this time, he was still affected by it. 

“Anyway, I’m only saying all of this because I want you to see how different we are. I was so bitter, and I let that bitterness rule my life for years. But you… you’re already doing so much better than I was. I know it’s harder for you to see that, but to me it’s clear as day. So I just… I hope that helps, at least a little bit.” 

Considering the story for a while, silence lingered between the three of them until Seonghwa finally nodded, parting his lips to answer. “I think it helps,” he murmured, fidgeting with the bandages around his neck. “Thank you for telling me.” 

A smile broke over Mingi’s face, and he nodded. “Good! I’m glad. I know I can’t really offer a lot of help compared to some of the others, but I thought it might help you to know all of that.” 

“Hey, you’re helpful too,” Yeosang corrected, speaking up again now that Mingi’s story was finished. “You’re a good guy to have around.” 

Seonghwa found himself nodding in response to that as well, and Mingi looked between the two of them, his grin widening. “Aw, thank you! I guess you forgive me for breaking the computer then, right?” 

In a single instant, Yeosang’s smile fell away, and he rolled his eyes. “No. There was no need to punch the screen. I am still angry with you for that.” 

“There was a need!” Mingi whined, poking Yeosang in the side. “The screen was frozen. What else was I supposed to do?” 

“Um… restart the computer, use the escape key, maybe try having a little patience and wait for it to unfreeze?” Yeosang rattled off, and Mingi pouted, crossing his arms. Their banter was pretty ridiculous, and Seonghwa had the feeling that they were playing it up for his benefit, but it still made his chest feel warm. He still couldn’t bring himself to smile, but he felt a little less damaged, a little more normal. They were treating him the same as they always had, and he appreciated that the most. 

“Why does it matter, though? Hongjoong has so much money, he didn’t even care,” Mingi countered, and they descended into further bickering as a result, the two of them berating each other back and forth. Seonghwa didn’t contribute anything, but he was content to just listen, grateful that they wanted to include him at all. 

It made him feel normal, like he wasn’t so drastically different from before. Like their opinions of him hadn’t changed at all. 

~

Over the few weeks that followed, Seonghwa’s physical injuries healed completely. His mental wounds would require far more time to begin to scar over, but he was finally able to move his body. Using a walker that Yunho had brought home for him, he started moving around his room, even venturing out into the hallway a few times. 

He continued to exchange frequent letters with Wooyoung, most of which were still short and riddled with raw pain on both sides. However, Seonghwa sensed a small shift over time in Wooyoung’s writing, and he heard a few more positive things from the others, although for the most part he knew that Wooyoung was still having a hard time. That came as no surprise, for Seonghwa was also making very few advancements in that regard. 

The blood was the worst part; no matter what he tried, he couldn’t bring himself to even swallow after the first taste of it touched his tongue. He had tried various different types of blood bags, but none of it mattered. Every few days, he lingered in his own suffering until the hunger became too much for him to bear and he snapped, instincts taking over until he was satisfied. And every time, he fell into a panic right after, disgusted with himself for what he had done. 

He couldn’t see a future in which that cycle was ever truly broken, which terrified him to no end. No amount of comfort from the others was able to dull his fear, either, and he spent every passing moment dreading the day when his injuries were all healed. 

When that day came, he would have nothing to hide behind anymore. He wouldn’t be able to pass every day away inside of his room, pretending that the world was confined to that one small space, that nothing existed outside of it. Facing the open air frightened him; seeing any face outside of the ones within his coven was unthinkable. But at the same time, he had no other choice. The fact that no other vampire had caught wind of the immortalists’ secret was a wonder in itself. 

According to the regulations, he would be put to death the moment he was brought before the council. But Hongjoong’s council seat complicated things, along with his strong penchant for vengeance. He was most known for his ruthlessness after the deaths of his family, after all. 

All this time, he had been nothing but a ball of pent-up rage, shoving it all aside for the sake of tending to Seonghwa throughout his recovery. But Seonghwa knew him well enough by now to sense the shift over time; as Seonghwa’s wounds healed, Hongjoong’s desire for revenge began to slip through the cracks, seeping into his demeanor. 

It wouldn’t be long now until none of them could hold Hongjoong back from destroying the ones who had done this. He wouldn’t stop there, either; every hypnotist would be in danger of his wrath. 

Seonghwa dreaded the imminence of that day with everything he had left. 

Chapter Text

Regulation #11: Human judicial courts will only be involved in the sentencing for vampire crimes if humans are involved; if a crime has no effect on humans, then the vampire council maintains full control over the verdict. 

~

“The signal should come in soon,” Yunho muttered, pacing with his arms behind his head, expression screwed into one indicative of deep thought. “It’s been longer than expected. But it’ll be coming, any minute now.” 

Seonghwa dug his thumb nail into his thigh, his jaw clenched tight. Now that his wounds were fully healed, he was dressed in regular clothes, and he had regained enough proficiency in walking to avoid the use of a walker. Now he simply had a cane, but he wouldn’t be able to bring it with him to the council. For tonight, he would need to keep up appearances as an immortalist.

He couldn’t allow anyone to notice his lack of healing, because then all of this time he had been kept hidden would have been for nothing. 

Tension clung to the muscles along Seonghwa’s shoulders, tight and painful. Sitting against his bed, he had pulled his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs. Even when he closed his eyes, the nightmare never seemed to end, reaching its climax now. Despite the assurances of the others, he couldn’t hold the belief that this would go well. There were too many moving parts, too many unknowns. 

The first of which being Hongjoong’s current task, hence his absence from the coven house. 

Inside of Seonghwa’s room, Yunho and Yeosang were also present, with Mingi lingering in the doorway. A small radio rested in Yeosang’s hands, for Yunho had been fiddling with it too much until Yeosang had finally stolen it away from him. If all went as planned, a signal would come through the radio, indicating that the time had come for the four of them to go to the council building. 

Seonghwa understood the basics of the plan, but some of the more precise details had passed him by, lost in the cobwebs of his nerves. This all centered around him, after all. After spending all of this time cooped up in his room, he would now need to leave and stand before a council room full of vampires, most of whom wanted him dead. Because of that, he was not confident in his ability to make it to tomorrow. 

“It’s going to be okay,” Yeosang said gently, his words directed towards Seonghwa. He was seated on the floor, facing Seonghwa’s current position on the bed. “Hongjoong won’t let anything happen to you. None of us will. We’ve been through this - we have several plans of action in place, in the event that everything does not fall into place as planned. But do not underestimate Hongjoong’s influence; he knows what he’s doing.” 

Still, Seonghwa found it difficult to put his full faith in a series of plans that terrified him more than anything else. He wished that he could simply stay here forever, hiding out in this house, for he had no desire to leave anyway. But he also understood why this needed to happen - he would never recover if he was confined to this room all his life. If all went well, and he was granted a chance at life as a vampire, then perhaps he wouldn’t have to be so afraid all the time. 

“Is he really going to kill them all?” Seonghwa whispered, voicing the question that had been on his mind for days, perhaps even weeks. Hongjoong had been alarmingly sparse with details as to what this first leg of the plan entailed, and Seonghwa wasn’t sure if the others knew anything more than he did. He figured that Hongjoong would have confided in Yunho, at least. 

However, the doctor looked at Seonghwa now as he paused in his pacing, pushing his hair back from his forehead as he shook his head. His glasses had slid down to the end of his nose, and he pushed them back into place as he spoke. “He will do what he deems to be necessary. He knows what the limits are.” 

That wasn’t reassuring to Seonghwa in the slightest, but he also found it remarkable that the others had so much faith in their leader. They did not worry about his judgment in the same way that Seonghwa did, which could only be attributed to the length of time they had spent together. After all, that kind of trust transcended what humans were capable of, particularly in the case of the older vampires. They had been with Hongjoong for several centuries, and the trust that had grown in that time was beyond Seonghwa’s current understanding. 

He tried to absorb Yunho’s words, to let the assurance soothe the uneasiness twisting in his stomach. With a small nod, he looked back down at his lap, pulling at the hem of his shirt. He was dressed plainly, for he wanted to draw as little attention to himself as possible, which was a ridiculous wish to begin with. This entire council meeting was going to center around his current existence, after all, and whether or not it should continue. 

Shuddering at the thought, Seonghwa nearly jumped up from the bed when the radio finally crackled, low beeping sounds coming through the static. “Shh!” Yunho held a finger to his lips, even though no one had made a sound. Mingi poked his head in from the hallway, his eyes wide, shadows gathering in the hollows beneath them. 

A series of long and short beeps followed, filling the silence, all of their eyes trained on the radio in Yeosang’s hands. The signal was in morse code, Seonghwa understood that much, although he had no clue how to decipher it. That was Yunho’s job, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he listened intently to the sounds, mind whirring behind his glasses. 

The sounds stopped after a short time, and Yunho cleared his throat, taking the radio from Yeosang. “It’s time. We have to go to, Hongjoong is on the way. The others will follow after us, we’ll go out first.” 

Petrified, Seonghwa remained frozen in place until Yunho reached for his wrist, pulling him to his feet. “We have to go,” he said again, although his voice was softer this time. He searched Seonghwa’s face for a moment, lines creasing his forehead. “It will all be okay, Seonghwa. None of us will let anyone hurt you.” 

With his jaw clenched tight, Seonghwa forced a nod, allowing himself to be guided forward. He wasn’t ready, but he never would be, and they had no time left to waste. He was guided all the way outside of the house, and for the first time in weeks, he felt the night air breeze past his skin, cutting through his clothes. Now that autumn had spread through the land, Seonghwa should have been cold without a jacket, but that didn’t matter anymore. He would never feel that kind of cold again. 

The four of them entered the car, Seonghwa sliding into the backseat with Mingi. Immediately, the larger vampire took Seonghwa’s hand into his own, squeezing gently. Yunho started the car and pulled out of the dirt driveway, Yeosang sitting in the passenger seat. 

“What was the message?” Seonghwa asked in a whisper as the headlights pierced the night, guiding them through the forest. He clutched onto Mingi’s hand in return, to the point where it was probably painful, but he was desperate for comfort. 

“The code he used is an old one, from back when we used to hunt the remaining immortalists on the continent,” Yunho answered, eyes trained on the road, hands braced against the steering wheel. His nerves were only betrayed by the veins that stood out along his forearms, his lab coat pushed up to his elbows. “The word he transmitted was ‘converge’. The other two codes we used were ‘diverge’ and ‘stasis.’ We had a certain protocol that we used to follow, based on those three codes. At that time, radio transmission didn’t exist yet - we used other means of communication. Smoke signals, light patterns, drum rhythms. Things like that.” 

Yunho rattled off the information rapidly, the words spilling right out of him, almost like he needed the distraction just as much. “The radio makes it a lot easier, now. We haven’t needed to use it often, but it still comes in handy at times. Coded signals were always the safest mode of communication to rely on, because only we knew the meaning. By telling us to ‘converge’, all Hongjoong means is for the group of us to meet at our predetermined meeting place. ‘Diverge’ would mean to scatter, and ‘stasis’ means to stay put. Simple, but effective.” 

Most of the time when Seonghwa looked at these other vampires, the ways they had lived in the past slipped his mind. He could hardly imagine any of them hunting other vampires, killing for sport. How could he, when they had never shown him that side of themselves? 

That was a part of the reason why he felt so afraid now, so wary. Not only because of his own imminent arrival at the council, or because of all of the unfamiliar vampires he would have to face once he stepped inside of that council room. 

He was afraid of what state Hongjoong might be in after his visit to the hypnotists. Seonghwa had never seen that violent side of him, not really, and he didn’t want to. His version of Hongjoong had always been gentle, and kind, and so different from the reputation that preceded him in the eyes of the rest of the world. 

Closing his eye, Seonghwa forced himself to take a deep breath, dragging his free hand down over his face. If he had still been human, his heart would have been pounding straight out of his chest by now. As it was, he felt sick to his stomach, nauseous at the thought of what was to come. 

The drive didn’t take long, and Seonghwa didn’t open his eye again until the car rolled to a stop. Mingi squeezed his hand again, and Seonghwa allowed himself to be guided out of the car, Mingi’s touch gentle against his waist as he pulled Seonghwa to his feet and steered him inside of the council building. 

“San and Jongho will be right behind us,” Yunho muttered under his breath as he led them to the council room. Unlike the first time Seonghwa had visited this building, they didn’t have to climb any flights of stairs; the council room was on the first floor. Already, the sound of voices permeated the air, loud and unruly, and Seonghwa halted in his tracks as they drew closer. 

The voices had turned into shouts, piercing his skin like tiny knives, holding him in place like the strings of a puppet. He couldn’t breathe, not that it mattered - he couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. All he knew was that he couldn’t go in there. He couldn’t. 

“Hey.” Yunho’s voice was gentle as he rested his hands on Seonghwa’s shoulders, blocking his view of the doors that led to the council room. “I know you’re afraid. This is going to be scary for you, but it won’t last forever. We’re going to bring you home again after this, and you won’t have to hide anymore.” 

Lips wobbling, Seonghwa’s voice came out as a shaky whisper. “I want to hide right now,” he admitted, blinking back tears. “I don’t want to do it. Please, I don’t - I don’t want to.” He fixated on a sculpture displayed before the council room, depicting the eight bloodlines - the four that existed within Seoul, as well as the ironbearers, fleeters, icebloods, and bloodspinners. He shivered at the sight, fearful of what he was about to walk into. 

Yunho frowned, creases forming between his brows. He looked older suddenly, fatigued from all of his years of life. “You have to,” he said, and the soft tone of his voice made it all hurt even worse. “I’m so sorry Seonghwa, but you have to. Be brave, just until this is over. After that, you’ll never have to do this again.” 

Blinking hard, Seonghwa balled his hands into fists, looking down at the floor. “Promise?”

“I promise.” Yunho lifted one of his hands to wipe the skin underneath Seonghwa’s eye, cupping his cheek for just a moment. “You can do it. Come on.” 

With his body trembling, Seonghwa nodded and moved forward with the three of them standing around him, Yunho in front and Mingi and Yeosang at his sides. The double doors to the council room opened, and the volume of the shouts from inside tripled, making Seonghwa wince. But he couldn’t stop again, because then he would never keep moving. This had to be done - he had no other choice. 

So he gritted his teeth, and he followed his friends inside, a hush descending over the crowd inside of the room. Starting from the back, the vampires crowded in the room started to notice the new arrivals, until Seonghwa felt nearly every single eye in the room looking at him, burning into his skin. His friends shifted closer, trying to cover him from prying eyes, but it was no use. 

Men and women filled the room, all of them possessing the eerie eternal grace of vampires. Flashes of various features caught in his mind; painted red lips, black tattoos webbing over pronounced cheekbones, golden teeth. One man even wore a thick velvet blindfold over his eyes. 

“He was turned! He’s illegal!” A voice shouted, echoing through the room, and in an instant all of the sound around them resumed at once. Seonghwa’s breath hitched as he caught flashes of sharp fangs, and he looked down at the floor, focusing on keeping his feet moving. He was terrified, and if he were still human he would have already descended into a panic, unable to breath as his throat constricted. “Grab him! He’s undocumented! Kill him!”

Bodies pressed towards him, hands reaching for him, fingers snatching at his shirt. “Do not touch him,” Yunho snarled, and even without fangs he was still intimidating, the tone of his voice making Seonghwa shiver. The other vampires didn’t stop, however, and there were too many of them - they were never going to make it to the front of the council room, not before someone ripped Seonghwa away-

“Let them through.” The familiar voice spoke the words as a command, rising above the commotion, demanding the attention of every last vampire. “Return to your seats. This is a matter for the council.” Suddenly, the pressure of bodies pushing forwards released all at once, and Seonghwa nearly collapsed right there in the middle of the room, only guided forward still by Yeosang’s arm at the small of his back. 

The command had been given by Saja, the other man on the council, and Seonghwa dared to look at him now that the overwhelming push of people had cleared away. He stood at the front of the room with his arms crossed, in front of his vacant council seat. As Seonghwa finally reached the front of the room, he could make out the other three thrones as well, all of them occupied. One woman sat on her own, silent, while the other woman had her fangs bared in a rage, lashing out at the one council member who looked out of place.

Yunho tugged him down into the first row of wooden seats, lined up like a courtroom with an aisle in the middle, but Seonghwa was hardly paying attention as his gaze fell upon Hongjoong. He stuck out like a sore thumb amongst the rest, for he was drenched in blood all the way from his hair down to his shoes. Seonghwa’s stomach flipped, and he made a soft choking sound, swallowed by the mutters around him. 

Pieces of gore clung to Hongjoong’s skin, stuck to the plane of his neck and drying down onto his clothes. Blood had dried around his mouth, dripping down to his chin. His fingernails were caked with it as well, braced against the armrests of his throne. Seori was shrieking at him, white hair strewn all about her face, eyes flashing. Seonghwa couldn’t even fault her for it, knowing what Hongjoong had done to members of her coven. 

From the start, Hongjoong had already been watching Seonghwa, his eyes dark like simmering coals. The blood on his skin and clothes was staining his throne seat, seeping into the velvet cushions, dripping down the ornate black structure all the way to the floor. Already, a small pool had accumulated there, reflecting the lights overhead. 

He tried to mouth something, but Seonghwa couldn’t bear to look at him any longer, ducking his head and clutching at his stomach as he swallowed back a gag. What had Hongjoong done? How could he show up here like that, and expect everything to be okay? 

Seonghwa squeezed his eyes shut, his ears ringing. The double doors at the back of the room opened again, but he hardly heard the sound at all. Yunho had guided him to sit in the seat at the very end of the first row, the farthest from the aisle, but even here in the corner he couldn’t hide. After weeks of hiding, he couldn’t do it anymore, and being surrounded by vampires now was such a shock to his system that he felt himself shutting down, his mind receding to somewhere quieter. Somewhere safer. 

Dimly, he felt Yunho’s hand slip inside of his own, but the touch felt so far away. He wasn’t even breathing anymore, chin tucked down close to his neck, his muscles stiff with tension. He wasn’t breathing, and his eyes were closed - if he remained like this, he could almost imagine that he was somewhere else. 

When Saja spoke again, his words broke through Seonghwa’s armor, commanding in a way that was almost supernatural. He demanded the attention of everyone in the room, and Seonghwa listened even as he kept his head down, his frame so rigid that he wasn’t even trembling anymore. He was completely still, wishing that he could blend in entirely with his surroundings. 

“Silence.” With that one word, most of the room fell quiet again, with the exception of the council members themselves. Seonghwa managed to catch a few snatches of Seori’s frenzied rage, and he flinched back when her words registered, ripping his hand free from Yunho’s to cradle his own middle. 

“-couldn’t live without your pathetic human, so you turn on your own kind? You are an embarrassment to this council. You should not be here at all.” Seonghwa didn’t raise his head to look at her, but he could imagine the ice in her eyes, electricity practically crackling in the air around them. 

She was talking about Seonghwa, and every occupant of the room knew it. Murmurs broke out again, until Saja continued. “That is enough, Seori. That is enough from all of you. This is a council matter, so let us all simply be grateful that we do not need to involve a human judge this time. Vampires settle the matters of vampires, and every occupant of this room is a vampire. All who have chosen to gather here for tonight’s meeting, you are merely spectating. I do not want to hear a word, not until this meeting is adjourned.” 

The way he spoke was quite severe, with a subtle angry edge that kept the audience in line. Although Hongjoong was the oldest council member, Seonghwa understood why Saja seemed to be the main spokesperson; he possessed a certain level of tact that the others did not. 

“This meeting will henceforth be conducted by myself, as two of our other council members have too personal of a connection to this case. However, I may require some assistance as I understand the facts as they currently stand, so I ask you all to bear with me.” He cleared his throat, and Seonghwa dared to look at him now, although he resolutely ignored Hongjoong’s presence. If he caught sight of all that blood again, he would be sick all over the council room floor. 

Saja wore a black cloak that trailed all the way down to the floor, half-moon spectacles perched over his nose. The top half of his silver hair was pulled back, the rest trailing down past his shoulders. That scar over his mouth moved as he spoke, and despite having never interacted with him, Seonghwa trusted him to handle this case over the rest. Something about him was solid, steady; he wouldn’t be so easily swayed by the opinions of the other vampires in the room. 

Pressing his lips together tight to keep them from trembling, Seonghwa listened more clearly now, the static in his mind receding slightly. “This meeting will proceed as usual, unless I decide that a change in plans is required. I will state the case as it currently stands, with orderly objections from those who find it necessary. From what I see, every immortalist is present, as well as almost every hypnotist. I brought a few of my coven members with me as well, but the doors are effectively closed, now. No other presence is needed, I believe. Kobeula, there is no sunwalker involvement in this, am I correct?” 

She shook her head, keeping her lips pursed, expression unreadable. Saja continued to speak, but before Seonghwa could look away, Kobeula found his gaze and held it. He was paralyzed by it, held in place, half expecting her to lash out at him. However, all she did was direct a subtle nod in his direction, and for a moment her eyes held a certain warmth that hadn’t been there before. 

Perhaps he wasn’t entirely alone in this council room, after all. He thought back to his conversation with her on the street that day, and the knot of anxiety in his chest didn’t feel quite as tight. 

“-an unprovoked attack on the Hypnotist Coven, from what I understand,” Saja said, and Seonghwa snapped back to attention at that, resisting the urge to look at Hongjoong as all eyes in the room turned to him at once. Unprovoked? He supposed it must have looked that way to everyone else, for the details of Seonghwa’s turning were still unknown. 

Hongjoong rose from his seat, blood dripping from his drenched clothes down to the floor as he raised his arms, addressing the room. “You are wrong. The attack was not unprovoked, not in the slightest. And I made my reason for being there quite clear, but no one was willing to address me with the truth. You know how I prefer to handle things, and so did they. They made their choice.” 

“You cut through twenty of my men.” That voice came from the crowd, laced with steel. A man in the front row, with long black hair and dark features. “And you will face the consequences. These times are different. You cannot get away with slaughtering a whole group of vampires anymore.” 

Despite the cold rage in the man’s voice, Hongjoong still had the audacity to laugh, and the sound grated down Seonghwa’s spine. He was so different like this - he wasn’t the Hongjoong that Seonghwa had always known. “You are no innocent either, Ichiji,” he drawled, his accent particularly thick, curling around his words. Seonghwa wondered if it had anything to do with him remembering the violence of the past as he stood up there, coated in blood. “You hid behind the others, but your guilt has never been a question to all of us here. So I would be careful about what you say to me now.” 

His words were vague, but the threat held within them was blatant. The dark-haired man didn’t say another word, but he was livid in his silence, his features screwed into an expression of utter rage. Seonghwa looked away from him quickly, drawing closer to Yunho’s side, clinging to his sleeve. 

Wordlessly, Yunho wrapped an arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders, and he dissolved into the comforting touch. No one would hurt him as long as the rest of his coven was beside him. 

The rest of his coven. Seonghwa went completely still, eye widening as he looked down to the end of his current row of seats, processing what Saja had just said before. From what I see, every immortalist is present. And sure enough, at the other end of the row sat Wooyoung, huddled so small that Seonghwa had overlooked him until now. When the door had opened that final time… that must have been him, San, and Jongho, for they were all here. 

His entire body was hidden by a thick black cloak, but Seonghwa still knew it was him. The hood was pulled down over his head, and his knees were pulled to his chest. Only the skin of his hands was showing, and the skin surrounding his nail beds was visibly raw, even from a distance. 

Looking at him now, Seonghwa didn’t feel afraid. How could he, when Wooyoung’s suffering was undeniable? Swallowing hard, Seonghwa looked back towards the members of the council, but his resolve was renewed by the sight of Wooyoung. He wasn’t the most vulnerable one here - not anymore. And that gave him something else to fight for, something other than his own life. 

Seonghwa had always found it easier to fight on behalf of someone else. Someone whom he deemed more worthy of saving than himself. 

“Settle down. Hongjoong, you say that your reason for being there was clear - will you please explain, for the sake of those of us who do not know what you mean?” Saja turned his gaze to Hongjoong, who was still standing, his jaw clenched tight. Seonghwa glanced at him for a moment, for that was all he could bear. 

“As you were all so eager to shout when the rest of my coven arrived, yes - Seonghwa is no longer my feeder. He is no longer human at all, even though his application to be turned was denied. He is undocumented as you say, but there is more to the story than that. He was attacked by another member of my own coven several weeks ago, who had no choice in the matter. Hypnosis was at play here, you see. So this issue is not black and white; it is not fair to simply follow the regulations and kill them both.” Hongjoong spoke rapidly, desperation searing his words, the first hint of true emotion from him. 

However, that explanation was not enough to placate the other vampires in the room, several shouted objections echoing in the large space. 

“Lies!”

“Why did you not bring him here at once?” 

“Execution is the law!”

Saja held up a hand, although this time, the crowd took a longer time to settle down. Already, the older vampire looked more weary than he had at the start, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses before speaking. “If this is truly a lie, I will know. One glimpse into the memories of those involved will provide us with the truth. However, before that, testimonies from the involved parties will be in order. That will include both alleged victims from the Immortalist Coven, as well as any hypnotist who is willing to step forward and admit their involvement in this incident.” 

Silence followed his words, no immortalist stepping forward, but Seonghwa hardly even noticed that. He was hung up on what had come before that, his grip on Yunho’s sleeve going slack. 

A testimony? No one had mentioned that to him. He had been assured numerous times that he would only need to be in attendance, and that would be enough. 

The truth about what had happened that night… he had done everything in his power to push those memories as far down as they could possibly go. If he hadn’t even revisited his death on his own, how could he possibly be expected to do so in front of a room full of people who wanted him dead twice over? 

For the first time that night, Seonghwa sought out Hongjoong’s gaze, so desperate that he didn’t even register the sight of the blood. He parted his lips, but he couldn’t say a word. All he could manage was a silent form of pleading, his eyes burning and his jaw trembling. 

Hongjoong’s eyes widened a fraction before softening with understanding, his entire face transforming when he looked at Seonghwa compared to the other vampires in the council room. Even when covered in blood after going on a murderous rampage, he still dropped all of his defenses when Seonghwa was involved, allowing all of the world to see the feelings in his heart. How could one person possess such vastly different sides? 

“No testimonies,” Hongjoong blurted, interrupting Saja as he was in the middle of saying something. “Neither one of my coven members are in any mental place to stand before this room and recount the most traumatic events of their lives. You cannot ask them to do that - I will not allow it to happen.”

He turned to address the rest of the room, his voice sharpening once more. “And for the one who had the nerve to ask, this is the precise reason why I did not bring them to the council immediately. If it were up to me, I would have waited longer. Neither of them should be here right now. They are not ready.” 

Seonghwa looked down at his lap to avoid the stares that shifted his way, blinking back tears. He would never be ready, but the world would always keep on spinning anyway. That was a lesson he had learned the hard way, many times over. 

“Hongjoong,” Saja said, his voice taking on a more rigid edge now. “You are in no position to be calling the shots, when you are not immune to punishment for your own deeds today. Allowing for a trial is already more than you would be getting if the humans were involved - I cannot make any further exceptions. Their testimonies may be brief, but they must be given.” 

The tone of his voice made it abundantly clear that he would not be swayed on this particular matter, and Seonghwa covered his face with his hands, his body beginning to tremble now as the reality of the situation set in. No one could step in and save him from having to do this. Just as he had finally been feeling the slightest bit better, he would have to revisit everything, all at once. 

However, he was not the only one who would have to do it, and he chose to focus on that instead, pulling away from Yunho and rising shakily to his feet. Whispers scattered about the room as all of the vampires around him looked his way. He was still shaking, but he tried to stand tall. 

“I’ll go first,” he said, and even though his voice was small, his words filled the space. For just a moment, he spared a glance towards Wooyoung, and glittering black eyes stared back at him from the shadows beneath the hood of his cloak. The rest of his face wasn’t visible, but that didn’t matter; his eyes said more than words ever could. 

For the first time since the attack, Seonghwa forced his lips to twitch upwards in the barest ghost of a smile as he looked at Wooyoung, before he looked back towards the members of the council. He squared his shoulders, inhaling a deep breath through his nose. “Let me go first.” 

Saja stared back at him, seemingly studying his face before finally giving a nod and stepping back towards his own council seat. “Very well,” he said, settling down on his throne. Hongjoong followed his lead a moment later, and although his expression was wrought with worry, something else existed there as well. Pride, Seonghwa realized. “The stage is yours.” 

The thrones sat on an elevated part of the floor, much like a stage, and Seonghwa gritted his teeth as he left his seat behind and ascended the steps. A wooden podium existed in front of the thrones, facing out towards the rest of the room, and he assumed that he would need to speak from there. A bitter lump lodged in his throat, and he feared that he wouldn’t be able to get the words out at all. 

In his mind, when he thought back to the night of the attack, everything was a blur. He wanted it that way, for he had no desire to ever revisit the terror he had felt then, the paralysis that had set over his body in death. But the memories were there; he had simply buried them. 

Now, he had no choice but to dig them free, his fingers shaking as he came to a stop and gripped the top of the podium, facing the crowd. He couldn’t breathe, his eye opening wide as he looked at all of the vampires before him, most of their expressions ranging from rageful to something like… hunger. Petrified, he could do nothing but stand there as a shiver wracked his frame, rendered to nothing more than a deer in headlights. 

This wasn’t the same as talking to his friends - these vampires hated him. Someone in this crowd was the one who had organized all of this, who had wanted him dead. After all, he didn't even think that turning had been the goal. His ingestion of Wooyoung’s blood had happened by chance; the hypnotist behind this had wanted him dead. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had known that since the start, but now that he stood here with nearly the entire Hypnotist Coven staring at him like he was nothing more than a piece of meat, he couldn’t move. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, to recount his own death in front of the ones responsible. 

“Do not look at them,” Hongjoong murmured from behind him, quiet enough for only Seonghwa and the other council members to hear. “Pretend you are somewhere else. Somewhere from one of the stories I have told you.” 

Seonghwa closed his eye, grateful for once that the other one was stitched closed. The world turned black, but still he could feel the pressure of those eyes watching him, boring into his skin. So he imagined that he was somewhere else, just as Hongjoong had said. He imagined that he was somewhere far away, in a world where bad things never happened to good people. Finally, he managed to inhale, and he started to tell his own story as if it had happened to someone else.

“After ending my feeder contract, I was living alone. I knew that the members of my coven were still watching over me, because I noticed them trailing me sometimes, but I wasn’t in contact with them. I wasn’t in contact with anyone.”

His throat felt so dry, and he found himself wishing for the human relief of a glass of water. But water made vampires sick; he would never be able to drink it again. 

He recounted the day of the attack, speaking in a monotone about how he had left his apartment at night, how the group of humans had caught up to him. That part of the story wasn’t as unbearable to revisit, but he still kept his eye firmly closed, gripping the podium so tight that he could almost feel the wood straining beneath his grip. 

A few murmurs of dissent rippled through the room when Seonghwa mentioned the humans, but no one dared to interrupt him, likely due to the strong presences that loomed behind his back. 

“One of them lifted me, trying to bring me towards the forest, but I-“ Seonghwa’s voice finally broke off then, and he let go of the podium to raise trembling hands to his mouth instead, shaking his head softly. In all this time, he hadn’t truly considered what he had done prior to his own death, and now the truth turned in his stomach, sour and cloying. 

He couldn’t stop there, though. “I killed him,” he whispered, but his words were deafening anyway, striking the occupants of the room into complete silence at last. “I just - I knew he was going to hurt me, I - I knew it. So I hurt him first.” 

Dragging his hands down the length of his neck, Seonghwa continued. “But they still managed to bring me to the forest. One of them had a bat, and they shattered my knee when I tried to escape. I was locked in a wooden shack full of bats - it was a message. The public had been calling me Bat Boy, and - and whoever was behind all of this knew that. It was all premeditated. I managed to escape after a while, but not before losing my eye.” 

A twinge of phantom pain shot through to the back of Seonghwa’s skull from his right eye socket, and he gasped softly, pressing his lips together tight. For several seconds, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything more, his throat burning as he swallowed down a sob. He was already weak in the eyes of these vampires - the last thing he needed was to cry in front of them all. 

Instead, he thought about the vampires in the front row, and the coven leader sitting behind him. He imagined that he was talking to them only, and with his eyes closed, he was able to go on. 

“I couldn’t move, even once I was free of the shed. I thought that I might die there anyway, even before-” He inhaled a shuddering breath, trembling so violently that his knees threatened to give out. “That was when - when I saw Wooyoung. He had found me there, and I thought for a minute that - that I was saved. I thought he was there to help me.” 

Seonghwa bit down hard on his bottom lip, shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around himself. “It wasn’t his fault. I knew that, I… I knew it as soon as I got a good look at him. He was - he was hurting himself. With his own fangs, he was tearing his mouth apart.” 

Nausea surged at the memory, and Seonghwa’s voice was garbled now, his airway constricting with panic. He wasn’t in that forest anymore, he knew that in his bones, but he couldn’t shake the terror that accompanied the memory. Despite his lack of detail, the image in his mind was exact; he remembered how Wooyoung’s bottom lip had been torn open all the way down to his chin, split skin healing the next instant. And his eyes - they had held such desperation, the silent plea of a boy trapped inside of his own body. 

“He was trying to stop himself. He tried so hard. But he was powerless, and so was I. He pinned me to the ground, and then he just-” Seonghwa managed to cover his mouth with his hand in time to muffle a sob that he hadn’t been able to hold back, hunching over the podium now, curling in on himself. He just wanted this to be over. Every second that he stood up on that platform was endless.

“He drank my blood, and then he tore me apart.” Seonghwa winced at the blunt nature of his own words, but he couldn’t give any more detail than that. “But the blood from his lip… it got into my mouth. I didn’t even understand that at the time. I was so sure that my life was over, but I just wanted him to know that I knew. I knew it wasn’t really him.” 

Above all else, Seonghwa hoped that Wooyoung was more inclined to believe him now that he had stated the truth in front of every vampire in the room, friend and foe. He hadn’t lied about anything during his testimony, and he certainly hadn’t lied about that last part. 

A familiar touch pressed against the small of Seonghwa’s back, and he flinched away from it, raising his hands to defend his neck. “Shh, it is only me. You are done here,” Hongjoong murmured for only Seonghwa to hear, and when his touch returned, Seonghwa melted into it this time. 

He leaned heavily on Hongjoong, eyes still shut tight as he allowed himself to be escorted from the elevated platform and back down to his seat. Every step was difficult due to the uncontrollable shaking that wracked his frame, and even when Hongjoong passed him off to Yunho’s waiting arms, he still couldn’t bring himself to open his eyes. Collapsing down into his seat, he dissolved into the strong arms that held him close, protecting him from every other vampire in the room. 

Yunho’s embrace was safe, and Seonghwa found it impossible to keep up his strong facade because of that. Turning his head, he hid his face in Yunho’s neck as a shaky sob tore right through him, unleashing the emotions that he had forced himself to keep in check while speaking. 

“You were incredible,” Yunho whispered as he cradled his palm against the back of Seonghwa’s head. “You’re done now. That was all you needed to do.” 

His assurances only made Seonghwa cry harder, although he still fought to keep himself silent. He was used to that, though - while at the orphanage, he had learned how to cry without making a sound. 

The voices of the council members rang through the room, regaining the attention of the vampires in attendance, but Seonghwa still kept his eyes closed. He didn’t want to open them again until he was gone from this place. None of the words spoken registered in his mind, not until he heard the one name that made his heart ache even worse. The name of the one person who made him want to push aside his own pain in favor of easing theirs. 

“-last testimony, and then we will move forward with the information provided. Jung Wooyoung, if you would please come to the stand.” The moment Seonghwa heard that name, he stiffened, gripping Yunho’s arm tight. 

“He has to do it, Seonghwa,” Yunho murmured, carding fingers through his hair in a steady, soothing rhythm. “He is so much stronger than he thinks he is. You shouldn’t have been forced to do that, but part of me believes that he needs it.” 

Yunho didn’t elaborate any further, but Seonghwa understood his meaning. This was likely the only way to draw this information out of Wooyoung, considering how devoid of all emotion he had been since the attack. Seonghwa was certain that he would speak now, but not because his own life was on the line. He would speak to save Seonghwa from execution, to prevent a second death. 

Shifting his head just enough to be able to see the front of the room, Seonghwa watched as Wooyoung took his place behind the podium next. The cloak swallowed him whole, hiding his face from view, hiding every part of his body aside from his hands. For a moment, he just stood there wordlessly, completely still. He wasn’t shaking like Seonghwa had been - he showed no signs of a struggle at all. 

When he did finally begin to speak, his voice was flat, lacking even the smallest glimmer of emotion. He sounded different, his words muddled. “On that night, it was my turn to watch over Seonghwa, to make sure that nothing bad happened to him. We knew that one of you would try something. And we were right about that, but we didn’t plan for the way that it happened.” 

The tone of his voice made Seonghwa shiver, pressing closer to Yunho as he hung onto every word that came out of Wooyoung’s shadowed mouth. He had never heard this side of the story, after all - none of them had, not in full. 

“I kept watch on the window of his apartment, and eventually I saw him leave. It was late by then; the night was dark. A new moon. I intended to trail him, to make sure that he would be okay going out at night, but I never had the chance. I don’t remember what happened to me, though. My memory goes blurry there, and it only returns later, in the woods. Whoever did that to me, they used hypnosis to make me hurt Seonghwa, and then they compelled me to forget all of the details of the hypnosis itself.” 

Finally, a shred of frustration broke through his monotone. “I was a puppet. That was all I was, and I was chosen because I’m the weakest one in my coven. And I don’t even know who did this. I can’t even tell you that.” His fingers curled into fists at his sides, and his cloaked outline wasn’t so stoic anymore. He was trembling; whether with rage or fear or both, Seonghwa couldn’t tell. 

“I remember being in the woods, and I remember finding Seonghwa. I remember being trapped inside of my own skin, feeling my body move when I didn’t want it to. I kept drawing closer to him, but I knew that something bad was going to happen. I kept biting myself, because I hoped that he would understand that I didn’t want to be doing this. That feeling… there is nothing like it, nothing in this whole world. That power comes straight from hell.” 

His voice sounded strangled now, thick with emotion. Even without seeing his face, Seonghwa could picture his expression, for he had never been cut out for stoicism. And Seonghwa had always loved that about him, but now his heart was aching in response to Wooyoung’s pain. Despite his own fear, he wanted to go back up there just to provide Wooyoung with support, so that he wouldn’t have to face this alone. 

Something about him just ignited Seonghwa’s need to protect, especially when he was in this state, hiding his face from the world and trying to hold himself together as he recounted a feeling that no one else in this room would ever understand. The way he described it all made Seonghwa feel sick; his body had been invaded against his will, used to do terrible things to someone he loved. 

How was he ever supposed to recover from something like that? 

“I couldn’t stop myself, even when I pinned him to the ground. I knew I was about to kill him, and I was - I was screaming, but no sound came out. Inside of my head, I was tearing myself apart, but instead of hurting myself I kept hurting him. I didn’t want to do it, but what I wanted didn’t matter at all.” He raised his hands then, rubbing at his face beneath the hood of his cloak, probably wiping tears away. 

The entire room was dead silent, everyone fixated on Wooyoung’s words. His delivery was raw, wrought with the kind of pain that most of these vampires had probably never felt before. “He didn’t-” Wooyoung’s voice broke, his shoulders curling inwards now, his stature shrinking. “He didn’t even try to hurt me. He has weapons, he always carries them, but he didn’t try to use them. Because he - he didn’t want to hurt me, even when I was killing him.” 

A strangled cry tore from Wooyoung’s mouth, and then he was collapsing to the floor, curling into a heap right there in front of the whole council. Seonghwa swore he heard something snap inside of him, and then the cries were endless, loud and filled with anguish. 

All at once, his armor cracked to pieces, and all that remained was the boy underneath. The sweet, empathetic boy who never would have done any of this of his own free will. That was the part that hurt the most. 

San bolted right out of his seat, rushing up onto the platform and gathering Wooyoung’s trembling form in his arms, holding him close to his chest. “He’s done,” he hissed, glaring up at the council members resting on their thrones. “That is enough. He can’t handle any more.” 

No one protested San’s words, and Seonghwa stopped breathing entirely as he watched San carry Wooyoung right out of the council room, opening the double doors and disappearing from sight. The doors closed again with a heavy sound, cutting straight through the silence. 

Tears prickled at Seonghwa’s lashes, and Yunho’s arm constricted around him further. Saja rose from his seat once the doors closed, clearing his throat to address the crowd once more. “If his memories have been wiped, then there is not much I could have gleaned from reading him. We still do not know the one responsible for this, but I would like to read your memories still, Seonghwa. For confirmation, before we proceed.” 

He turned his gaze upon Seonghwa then, his expression neutral. Getting a read on him was almost impossible, a trait that made him perfect for his position. Anyone with an obvious bias would be difficult to believe; just because he could read memories did not mean that he had to share the full truth of what he found. 

Seonghwa swallowed, glancing at Hongjoong. Everything he had said in his testimony was true, but he was concealing something else. If Saja saw his lack of healing after the attack, what would he say? That seemed like it could become a large enough issue to warrant further investigation, potentially involving humans as well, and that was the last thing Seonghwa was prepared to deal with. 

However, Hongjoong nodded imperceptibly, and Seonghwa trusted his judgment more than his own. So he parted his lips, his voice still unsteady. “Okay,” he agreed, feeling shaky all over again. He didn’t want any more attention. He just wanted this all to be over. 

This time, Saja came over to him, descending the few steps that led to the rows of regular seats. He stopped in front of Seonghwa, glasses perched at the end of his nose as he looked down at him. “The process is simple. I will merely touch your temples, and I will see the memories from that given night. However, that is all I will see. I swore an oath at the creation of this council; I am not permitted to view memories outside of the time frame in question. This will only take a moment.”

Relaxing slightly at that information, Seonghwa nodded, although he couldn’t help but recoil when Saja reached out to touch him. Rough fingertips pressed against his temples, and Seonghwa gasped as a strange feeling washed over him. Within his own mind, he sensed his own memories as Saja read them, and he understood now why Hongjoong had nodded. Saja only read the memories relevant to the trial, and then he pulled his hands back, stepping away. 

Only a few seconds had passed, but Saja appeared more weary now, the lines around his mouth deepening as he returned to the front of the room. His power was a useful one, but Seonghwa suspected that it was draining as well, especially for a council member. He wondered how many terrible memories Saja had been forced to read as part of his position, involving atrocities far worse than what Seonghwa had experienced. 

He shuddered at the thought, leaning against Yunho once more. “Almost done,” Yunho muttered under his breath, patting Seonghwa’s shoulder gently. “Just a little bit longer.” 

“I can confirm that the testimony provided by Seonghwa was true, which now brings us back to the issue of who is responsible for this. A hypnotist, that much is undeniable, but his memories did not provide any additional information, from what I was able to gauge.” Saja turned to look at Hongjoong, his shoulders forming a hard line. “Your methods did not bring us to any conclusion, either-” 

Hongjoong rose from his throne, and Saja fell silent. Blood crusted over his clothes and skin, Hongjoong stood before the side of the room where the hypnotists had gathered, his eyes hard. For a moment, all he did was look at them, his glare icy enough to bring down the temperature of the room. 

“I did not have the opportunity to finish the job earlier, but mark my words, whoever did this to my coven members will not be leaving this council room alive tonight. Many of you called for my coven members to be executed, but their bravery to stand on this stage and recount what happened to them has proven that they are innocent. Someone is responsible for this, and that person is a hypnotist. Execution is inevitable, but I will strike down every last one of you until there is a confession.” 

One side of his mouth lifted in a crude smirk, his fangs poking through his lips and glinting in the overhead lights. “So what will it be?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked at them. “Confession, or eradication?” 

But Seonghwa didn’t want to see any of that. The last thing he could stand to witness was more bloodshed, not after the memories he had been forced to recount. Bitterness flooded his mouth as he mulled over the night of the attack, thinking back to the humans who had captured him in the first place, the things they had said and the way they had acted. Perhaps some kind of clue existed there, something he had overlooked…

Just as Hongjoong started to move from the council platform, heading for the hypnotists in the room, Seonghwa stood on shaky legs. “Wait!” he cried out, and Hongjoong stopped in his tracks, looking towards him. Every head in the room had turned in Seonghwa’s direction, and he clenched his fists, determined not to lose his nerve. 

“Saja can confirm this from what he saw in my memories, but I - I remember something. When the group of humans found me and subdued me, one of them said something that meant nothing to me at the time, but now…” He resisted the urge to scan the crowd of hypnotists, looking at Saja instead, hoping that he had picked up on the same part of the memory. “Now I think I understand what it meant.” 

The older vampire watched him closely, gesturing for him to continue. “One of the humans said, um, ‘he was right to choose us, not that he had much to go by anyway.’ So I understood then that someone had put them up to it, and that someone was a man, but I didn’t attribute too much meaning to that last part. But now that I think about it… I think they may have meant that the one who chose them had nothing to go by because he couldn’t actually see them at all. And there was someone I saw when we first walked in here. He’s wearing a blindfold.” 

He was nervous speaking the words aloud, but he also felt an odd sense of conviction. This time, he didn’t tremble even as he turned towards the other side of the room, where all of the hypnotists were gathered. Searching the crowd, he finally found that same man from before, the one with the blindfold over his eyes. “Take it off,” he said, his voice ringing against the walls. “Or is there nothing underneath?” 

For just a moment, the room hung in a suspended state of silence, until the blindfolded man moved and shattered the peace. He pushed against those around him, weaving his way towards the doors, and a cry escaped Seonghwa’s parted lips. Hongjoong was already leaping from the elevated platform, diving forward in pursuit of the man, his eyes alight with a murderous gleam. 

Seonghwa took a small step backwards, even though he stood on the other side of the room from the altercation, but he refused to look away as Hongjoong caught up to the blindfolded man and grabbed his arms hard, preventing his escape. The crowd around him was too dense for him to have made it far, and Hongjoong tore the blindfold right off of his face, exposing the stretch of skin underneath. 

Just as Seonghwa had expected, his eyes were gone. Both of his sockets were covered in shiny scar tissue, the product of burns that had happened long ago. He couldn’t see at all, and as Hongjoong dragged him to the front of the room, Seonghwa was certain that this man was the one who had organized his death. 

Bringing him up onto the platform, Hongjoong kept the man’s arms locked behind his back, his rage more targeted now that he knew who was responsible. “Check his memories,” Hongjoong spat towards Saja, and the animosity in his tone made Seonghwa feel weak at the knees. He fell back into his seat, automatically comforted by Yunho’s presence again beside him. 

With fingers to the hypnotist’s temples, Saja read the memories held within his mind. Since he hadn’t stepped forward to give a testimony earlier, he now reserved no right to state his own case, and even as he writhed in Hongjoong’s hold, he had nowhere to escape to now. He was caught, and Seonghwa felt sick as he observed the vampire, the one who had done this to him. 

He had never seen this man before today, and somehow, that made it all worse. If the one who had organized the plot against him was a vampire who Seonghwa had clashed with in the past, perhaps at the masquerade, then perhaps this would all make more sense. But even if this man had been at the masquerade, Seonghwa hadn’t noticed him. And he couldn’t understand why someone who he had never even spoken to before would want him dead so badly. 

Saja pulled his hands back from the vampire’s head, his mouth forming a hard line. “He is responsible,” he said, and Seonghwa raised his hands to cover his mouth, even though he had already figured that out. 

“Why?” he found himself asking, still in his seat this time, his voice strangled and warped even to his own ears. “Do - do you know why?” 

With a weary sigh, Saja nodded once, not even sparing the struggling vampire a glance as he addressed the room. “From what his memories yield, he was working alone with the aid of humans, although he… disposed of them on his own once his need for their help expired.” 

Looking at Seonghwa now, Saja’s brows drew down over his eyes. “There is no secret reason, if that is what you are counting on. He did this because he wanted you gone, because he wanted to hurt the ones who care for you. Whether or not he accomplished his goal, he is now caught. A vote is in order.” 

The sound in the room fell away as Seonghwa watched the council members discuss something, unable to make out their words at all. He was shaking again, but he could hardly feel it - the worst of the pain existed inside of his mind. Someone who he had never noticed before had organized all of this simply to kill him. The thought made him feel sick. 

He pressed his sleeve to his mouth, forcing his lips to remain closed tight in fear of vomiting all over the floor. Could vampires even vomit if they did not eat? Seonghwa didn’t know, but he didn’t want to find out either. 

Seori was in a rage, her fangs bared as she fought against the other three vampires on the council, but even without hearing her words Seonghwa knew that she was fighting a losing battle. He sensed a different emotion inside of her, one that she was repressing in favor of her rage; embarrassment, perhaps. After all, she had defended her own coven until the end, only for the truth to be drawn out right from between the blind vampire’s temples. 

This vampire trial was so different from what Seonghwa knew of the human judicial system, which was admittedly little. There seemed to be hardly any order, the proceedings messy and haphazard, just like the discussion that now took place. However, something about that made Seonghwa feel safer, like his fate was in good hands. 

After all, humans had never done anything for him, but vampires had given him a new purpose in life, and he sensed less deceit in their proceedings now.

He started to calm down after that, the numbness over his senses retreating slowly as he watched the council proceed into a vote. The results came as no surprise to anyone in that room, Seonghwa was sure; Seori voted in defense of the blindfolded vampire, but she was outnumbered. The other three voted in favor of the vampire’s execution, and Seonghwa’s mouth ran dry. A life for a life, he heard them declare, although their words were muted, coming to him as if through a dense fog. His life in exchange for the life of his own executioner, the one pulling the strings all along. 

Deep down, he did want the vampire dead, for he would feel safer once he knew that the same thing wouldn’t happen to him again. But he didn’t want to play a part in the rest of this trial - he didn’t want to see a man executed. He couldn’t bear to witness something like that. 

Looking towards Hongjoong, he hoped that his expression conveyed how he was feeling, their eyes locked together for a moment before Hongjoong let free a long breath and opened his mouth to speak. “I would like for my coven to be able to go home, now that this is over with. We should have no further issues, since Seonghwa was turned by another member of my coven, meaning that his place with us is secure.” 

“The only matter we still have not discussed is the bond between sire and fledgling,” Saja replied, gesturing to two vampires sitting behind Mingi and Yeosang, likely members of his coven. “Will you two come here and prepare this man for execution?” Seonghwa pressed fingers to the seam of his mouth, watching as the two vampires obeyed, rising from their seats and dragging the blindfolded hypnotist from the room. 

“From what I understand, Seonghwa’s true sire is in no condition to properly take care of him as a sire should. Having the two of them in close proximity as often as possible is highly advised, because they are now bound in the way that only sire and fledgling can be. But someone will need to assume the role of sire in the other senses; guidance, comfort, skin to skin contact, biting when necessary. He will also need to follow a precise feeding schedule to keep him from being at risk of turning feral.” 

Seonghwa didn’t look forward to that, for feeding was by far the worst part of being a vampire thus far, but he also couldn’t protest. He was lucky enough that he was being granted the chance to live; if he were to complain now, the other members of the council just might rescind their generosity. 

“I will assume that role,” Hongjoong declared easily, scanning his gaze over the room in its entirety, as if daring anyone to protest. “I am familiar with the duties of a sire, and Seonghwa and I have been… quite close from the start. I believe this is the natural course to take.” Several pairs of eyes fell upon Seonghwa at that, and he ducked his head to avoid their attention, biting at his lip. 

If anyone was going to take on the role of sire for him, he wanted it to be Hongjoong. However, he was also so afraid of what was to come, petrified as he considered all of the things Saja had mentioned. What did he mean by ‘biting when necessary’? What would the feed schedule entail? Seonghwa’s own life was entirely out of his hands now, and after spending his whole life alone, he didn’t know how to rescind control to other people like this. He would have no choice but to learn, though. 

This entire trial had drained him, and he was grateful when Yunho tapped his shoulder, gesturing towards the exit. All he wanted was to go back home and retreat to the safety of his room, hopefully to never see most of these vampires again. He had never wanted to be a part of their society; all he had ever wanted was a family. 

“Wait,” called a voice from the other side of the room, and Seonghwa stiffened with his hands braced against his seat. “Saja, this is disgraceful! He cannot go unpunished for coming to our territory and attacking many of us!” For a moment, Seonghwa’s scrambled mind thought that he was the one being spoken about, until he glimpsed Hongjoong’s wicked grin and understood. This was about Hongjoong’s revenge, and in a way, that was more terrifying. He was covered in blood, after all - how could he avoid punishment for that? 

But Hongjoong didn’t appear bothered at all, sauntering to the edge of the raised platform where the four thrones rested, his mannerisms relaxed and his expression full of daring. This side of him was reckless and crass, but something about that smirk made heat pool deep in Seonghwa’s stomach. 

“I did not take any lives,” he remarked simply, although the blood caked all over his skin seemed to directly contradict his statement. However, Seonghwa knew he wasn’t lying - he could feel it, and his shoulders slumped in his relief. “That was merely penance for what your kind did to mine. I told you from the moment I arrived in your territory that I would not harm a soul if you all agreed to attend a trial to determine who had done this to one of my vampires.” 

He shrugged, looking directly towards the hypnotist who had demanded his punishment. “It is not my fault that it took you all so long to agree to my terms. I was only being just.” Dipping one of his hands down into the thick woolen pocket of his cloak, Hongjoong spoke again. “As I said, I did not take any lives. I only did what was necessary.” 

When he pulled his hand back out of his pocket, Seonghwa didn’t immediately register what he was holding. Something about the size of his hand, the color of dull flesh. He threw the item into the crowd, and several screams sounded in response, filling the space. Seonghwa jolted, blinking hard as he stared at Hongjoong’s now empty hand, finally registering that he had been holding another hand. A severed one, which he had been keeping in his pocket all this time. 

Bitter bile coated the back of Seonghwa’s throat, and he clapped his hands over his mouth as he fought the urge to gag, immediately dropping his gaze down to the floor. The damage had been done, however, and Hongjoong’s cruel laughter carried through the room, drowning out the distressed sounds from the hypnotists in the crowd. 

“Reattach it, if you so desire. All of their limbs will heal with time; that is the beauty of being a vampire. I made clean cuts, so you have nothing to worry about. Right, Yunho?” 

From beside Seonghwa, Yunho responded in turn, his voice lacking its usual sensitivity. “Yes, indeed. The clinic is always available if you require assistance.” With that, he turned to Seonghwa, resting a gentle hand on his arm and speaking to him quietly. “We can go. Your part in this has finished.” 

Those words were an immediate balm to Seonghwa’s panic, and he nodded unsteadily, standing from his seat along with the rest of his coven. He kept his head down as he moved through the room towards the door, but this time no one tried to come near him. No one dared, given the events that had just occurred. 

Saja began to speak again, but Seonghwa didn’t process any of his words, quickly moving through the doorway and away from all prying eyes. He pressed his hands over his face, breathing heavily as he squeezed his eye shut, stopping right there in the council building as his legs refused to carry him any further. 

“You did an incredible job, Seonghwa,” said Yeosang, immediately at Seonghwa’s side. He didn’t initiate contact, which Seonghwa appreciated. “It took a lot of strength to be able to do that. I’m really proud of you. We all are.”

Despite Yeosang’s words, Seonghwa didn’t feel strong. He felt incredibly weak, hardly able to support his own weight now that he was free from that room, free from the oppressive stares of the vampires all around him. Now, he only wanted one more thing, and he dragged his hands down his face just enough to look back at Yeosang. 

“Can we go home?” he whispered, the words shaky. 

Yeosang smiled, his eyes sad. “Of course we can. Come on.”