Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

~♥️~

Salwch yw fy athrawen,
Illness is my teacher,

Fe dorrodd fy ngwên,
It broke my smile,

Mae fy esgyrn teimlo'n hen,
My bones feel old,

Yma yw gorwedd corff Uzi.
Here lies Uzi's body.

~♥️~

Uzi woke up to her alarm blaring, rubbing her arm over her face as if to wipe away leftover fatigue, before bringing her hand down on the alarm gently to avoid hurting herself, missing the button a few times before finally clicking the right one, turning the alarm off and letting the sound fade from her room. Groaning to no one, she sat herself up and maneuvered herself towards the edge of the bed, eyeing the glass of water that had been left on her nightstand. Opening her bedside drawer, she took out a small orange pill bottle, eyeing the label. Codeine, she pronounced in her head, as if it was the first time she was taking it. Cracking open the bottle, shaking it for two pills, and closing it again, Uzi put it back into the drawer and closed it, popping the pills into her mouth, washing them down with the glass of water.

Grabbing her elbow crutches from beside her bed, Uzi placed her forearms into the handles and used them to get up, the clicking of the crutches on the floor as she walked to her closet the least soothing sound she could've possibly imagined. Maybe besides scratching your fingernails on a chalkboard. Moving to open her closet, Uzi stared at her collection of dark-shaded clothes, picking out a decently cleaned hoodie and pants, not wanting to deal with the trouble of putting on anything too complex. She was too tired and in pain to do that right now. Hissing in pain when she turned and pushed her foot onto the floor too harshly, she closed the closet behind her and moved back to her bed, placing down one of her crutches to start getting dressed.

What a stupid way to start her day.

~♥️~

Walking through the hall, avoiding the lingering stares of the other students that were enrolled at the college, Uzi made her way to her art class in silence, avoiding running into anyone as best as she could, cursing under her breath every time another student wouldn't pay enough attention and bumped into her shoulder or crutch, making her stumble over herself. Her purple eyes still stung from waking up so early, but she decidedly ignored that feeling in favor of being able to focus on not falling over. She didn't want to give anyone else another reason to laugh at or pity her.

It took her a while, but she finally made it to the classroom and made her way inside to her seat in the front row, since she couldn't get up the stairs. Setting her crutches to her side and placing her bag down, she took out her sketchbook and threw it onto her section of the table in front of her, sighing softly to herself as she brought out her pens, pencils and 'colored pens', because she was NOT calling them gel pens. Opening the sketchbook, she flipped a few pages to find the one she'd been working on recently, a snow crested abandoned city background work she had started for a recent project. The teacher of the class didn't interrupt anyone when they decided to simply start drawing anything, simply opting to occasionally let them know when they would have homework, or a reminder of a due date. Until now, at least.

"Class," The teacher said, standing from his desk, and Uzi looked up from her sketchbook. "We're going to have a new student today. She's transferring from another college because of some.. difficulties, so I'm taking it upon myself to let you all know to be kind. Going to a new school when you're used to another is difficult, I'm sure some of you can somehow relate to that." He continued, vaguely gesturing to the class before gesturing to the door. "You can come in now."

The door to the classroom suddenly opened, and a taller girl walked in. The first thing Uzi noticed was that she was pale. Like, almost abnormally pale. Her skin was vaguely snow-like, and she was clad in sleek, leather pants, cut off at the bottom with fur lining, and a fluffy jacket, which hid a red scarf wrapped around her neck. Atop her head was a silver bob-cut, as well as a headband with.. yellow lights on the top of it, which shined against her hair, making it seem to glow.

"This is Veronica Elliot, and she'll be joining the rest of you for class from now on. Try your best to get along, at least." The teacher spoke up, before pointing at, or near Uzi. "You can take a seat near Ms. Doorman, in the front."

Uzi almost dropped her jaw but held it, rolling her eyes silently instead of speaking up, afraid she would make a fool of herself. She ignored the click of the new girl's shoes against the floor approaching her, as well as the sound of the chair to her left creaking as it scratched against the floor. Continuing to work on her background project, Uzi felt the presence of the new student way more than she wanted to, since she wasn't used to anyone actually sitting next to her. Hell, almost half of the row was empty, avoiding the disabled girl like she would infect them or something.

"So what's wrong with you, short stuff?" A deeper, feminine voice said from her side, and she looked over to see Veronica staring at her, looking her up and down like she was some sort of zoo exhibit. "You've got crutches. Get into an accident falling down a set of stairs or two?" She continued, smirking with this smug look as she crossed her arms and leaned into her seat. "Or did you get so unlucky that you got hit by a car, and still survived? Can't imagine how stupid you'd have to be to have that happen to you." Veronica rolled her eyes at the thought, which now that Uzi was close, she could see that they were a glowing gold. It kind of threw Uzi for a loop for a minute before she snapped out of it, sighing.

"Bite me. Why should I be telling you?" She starts, rolling her eyes as well before looking back to her sketchbook and continuing. "Everyone has their own problems. You deal with yours, and I'll deal with mine. You don't need to a be a bitch about it." Veronica stared in fake shock before smiling, but Uzi didn't let her respond. She reached into her bag again and pulled out her headphones, putting a decent song on for her to listen to so she could ignore the new student that apparently, already, did not like her. What a surprise that was.

Veronica sat and watched Uzi draw with interest, before shrugging to herself and going to her own sketchbook. She'd make some more fun out of the loser next to her later, she had time now that she wasn't under a class deadline, at least for now. Her sister would probably berate her for that train of thought, thinking she should 'keep diligent, you never know when someone's going to tell you to get something done', or whatever she liked to use against her. Taking up her pencil and starting to sketch vague shapes as a baseline, Veronica started drawing to distract herself for the moment, wondering how she could get on the purple girl's nerves next.

What an interesting way to start her day.

~♥️~

Chapter Text

~♥️~

I cursed the gods,

Cursed my messiah,

Cursed my maker,

I cursed all of creation.

And there I lay,

Feeble and thin,

Sick girl, sick girl, seven my sins.

~♥️~

The next day went just about the same. Wake up, grab medicine, momentarily drown herself to take them, get dressed, go to class. Uzi repeated the motions like they were nothing to her, even though just about everything she did caused her at least some amount of pain. It felt like a divine punishment for something she hadn't even done, having to trudge through life as some circus act, forced to use crutches, forced to take medications to be able to do anything without keeling over. Had she done something wrong to deserve this? Did she have like, a past life where she was a serial killer or some shit like that, and whatever hails above decided it was her problem to deal with now? Because that was some bullshit.

After getting dressed, Uzi took a minute to rest on her bed and scroll her phone, waiting for her meds to actually kick in before heading to class today. Today was gonna be a slow day anyways, everyone was looking forward to an upcoming party that Lizzy, the bane of her existence, was throwing that Saturday. That was the one thing Uzi liked about being crippled, she had an excuse to avoid large gatherings of people, cause they were annoying as fuck anyway. She couldn't be bothered to even want to go, even if she hadn't been born the way she was. Shaking the thought from her mind and continuing her scrolling, she unfortunately came across a recent post from said curse on her life.

Lizzy was at the forefront, posing in front of a mirror, holding a peace sign way too far above her head to look halfway decent. Next to her was her brother, Thad, the local jock/major athlete of the school, who was smiling. Cute, she thought before shaking her head again. She didn't like him like that, and he was Lizzy's brother, she'd never want to get that close to him. Behind the pair was Veronica, arms crossed, grimacing at the photo being taken, but still smiling softly. She was gorgeous, the way her hair shined in the light, the way her golden eyes shone, hell the way she carried herself, they were all indescribably.. attractive? Uzi had no way to describe it otherwise, but she was like a runway model. If a runway model was an art student at her college that was a bitch to her.

What was her deal? The first thing she even said to Uzi was 'What's wrong with you?'. Dick move, she thought. She couldn't let anything else distract her right now though, or she was going to be late to class, again. The teacher would raise hell about it, when he didn't bother to discipline anyone else for it, like he was targeting her for just existing. Just like everyone else. Oh well, what can you do? She turned her phone off and pocketed it, using her crutches to pull herself up and 'walk' out of the room. To her surprise, her father was waiting at the dinner table, and his eyes lit up as soon as she walked out of her room and noticed him. Oh boy.

"Good morning, dear! I hope you slept well," Khan started, rubbing his mustache like some sort of.. Victorian loser, smiling at her, which she did not like. He never smiled at her. "I didn't have to leave for work for another, uh.. half hour, so I made breakfast.. if you're hungry?" He continued, vaguely gesturing to a plate on the table opposite of him. When she looked down at the plate after hobbling towards the table, it took all of Uzi's willpower to not immediately vomit. On the plate was a set of four ridiculously burnt pancakes, topped with an even worse amount of maple syrup, even a small slice of butter. Shaking her head, Uzi turned from the table and started walking towards the door.

"No thanks, Dad. I'm not hungry, and I can grab something on campus if I need to." She said softly, ignoring the small frown that showed up on his face as she left the house, grabbing her bag from the doorway and hoisting it over her shoulder. She appreciated the gesture, but the man had no idea how to raise his own daughter, let alone cook. Ever since her mom died, he's always been like this. Hopeless, stumbling trying to take care of her, but she did the job herself ninety percent of the time. He was always at work anyway, even doing side work his employees didn't want to do when he was home, ignoring her. As usual. She couldn't completely blame him, after all, he was probably ashamed of her, wasn't he? She was broken, a defect, other things she'd been called in the hallways at school.

Again, oh well. Nothing she can do about it, just try to live her life the way she can. If it was living, that is.

~♥️~

Family was annoying, Veronica thought, staring around at the rest of the table as she ate her breakfast. Eating in silence and keeping to herself, Veronica watched the rest of her little family eat and converse, as if it wasn't like, nine in the morning. How did they have this much energy this early? It was honestly kind of creepy, but she couldn't bring herself to care right now, she just wanted to finish eating and get to class. Taking another bite of her omelette, she looked up and scanned the rest of the table.

In front of her was her oldest sister, Tessa. She was the second tallest of the family, at around 5'9 if she remembered correctly? She had sweet-toned, chestnut skin, freckles quite literally everywhere. Her long black hair was tied into a ponytail braid behind her, framing her pine green eyes like they were leaves in spring. She was, in her opinion, the prettiest of the family, by a long shot. She was also the only biological daughter of the Elliot family, and the one to adopt the rest of the children at the table. Since the Elliot parents weren't around, she was de-facto in charge, and she took care of her, as well as the other three 'children'. Veronica couldn't describe in words how much she respected her.

Immediately next to Tessa was Jay, the third oldest of them, standing at around 5'7. She was the darkest of the family, velvety chocolate skin that, she assumed because of some sort of skin conditioner, shined way brighter than it usually did under the bright light of the chandelier. Like Tessa, she had long black hair, tied into two twin tails shaped to the sides of her head. She was the only one in formal attire, wearing one of the most uncomfortable suits Veronica had ever seen, and the pencil skirt she noticed her wearing earlier did not help. Like her, she had the same golden eyes, which while she didn't really question, had to be some sort of weird coincidence. She was grating to be around because of how bossy she was, but she cared in her own way, even if she was really rude about it.

To her own right was Noah, the only brother she had and the second youngest. He was the tallest of the family at around 6'2, and he was quite literally the embodiment of a puppy, if there was one. He was the nicest person she had ever met, and quite unfortunately for her, she had met a decent amount of people. He was clad in his usual slacks and fur-lined jacket, and had the same gold eyes she did, with a short, styled silver bunch of hair, kind of like hers, just shorter and more put-together. He was originally a brunette, years ago, but then said one day he wanted to dye his hair, and when he came out of the bathroom, explained he felt bad that Veronica was the only one in the family that had a 'unique' hair color. He kept it ever since, god bless his heart. She loved the guy, but he was way too nice for his own good.

Then, to her left was Cyn, the youngest of her family and the.. weirdest, even if she hated calling her that. With pure white hair framing the small girl's face, she had beady black eyes that could stare into your soul if she wanted them to. Her eyes weren't actually black, but she had some sort of rare genetic condition that caused them to look close enough to it, so she'd call them black. She was short, much shorter than everyone else, 4'11 last she checked, but that's also because she was still young, having just turned fourteen a few months ago. Thankfully she made up for that by being the most entertaining of the family, her quirks only adding to her troublemaking personality. She remembered when Jay came out of her room one day cursing, only to find out Cyn had put a metric fuck-ton of super glue in the hinges of one of her bedside drawers. It took weeks to get that mess out.

Looking down at her plate, Veronica noticed she had finished her food and stood up, waving and saying her goodbyes/good lucks to the rest of her family, grabbing her things and walking out of the house, having decided to walk to class today instead of being a burden, getting Tessa to drive her. She knew Tessa didn't mind in the slightest, but she hated making someone who did so much for them go out of her way to do more. Slipping her hands into her pockets, she hummed a small tune to herself as she walked to class, the silence of the almost-winter climate forgotten as her boots crunched against the fallen leaves. It was cold out, but not cold enough to warrant wrapping up in another few layers like Tessa had been telling her to recently.

While she walked, her mind wandered, thoughts drifting to that purple chick from class. What was wrong with her, why did she use crutches like that? Could it actually be that bad, or was she just some attention-wanting loser that wanted the most sympathy-drawing treatment for a basic issue? Maybe if she made fun of her some more she'd actually spit it out. But that begs the question, she thinks, what if it's actually something serious? She'd be bullying a cute girl who's basically crippled, for no reason other than her own morbid curiosity. She shook her head and continued humming, throwing the thoughts from her mind. She'd worry about it later. Right now, she just had to get to class.

Wait, what did she call that freak?

~♥️~

Chapter Text

~♥️~

Surgeon incision,

Murder ambition,

Fear of the unknown preserves a religion,

Denounce the gods where my body went missing

~♥️~

As soon as the bell rang, Uzi 'jumped' to grab her crutches, gathering up her things and making her way past Veronica, who she accidently ran into while shuffling out of the isle. Whispering the smallest sorry she could manage, she shambled out of the classroom and into the hallway. Her art class was the only one she had to attend in person, which made absolutely zero sense to her, but she wasn't going to take for granted being able to go home early. Like clockwork, the students around her gave her weird looks, whether from pity or some form of self-righteousness they wanted to help her, she didn't know. She knows no one ever bothered to stop, so she didn't bother to pay attention to them. As long as she got far enough from the class in time for a certain someone to not see her, she'd be fine. She shouldn't have thought about it though, cause now that means she's gonna jinx it.

"Hey, freak!" A feminine, disgustingly sweet voice rang out from behind her. She sighed to herself, knowing something was about to happen and she was not gonna enjoy it. Turning around, she spotted Lizzy standing about a foot away from her, arms crossed, the most smugly innocent smile she could imagine on her face. To her side was Doll, another 'popular' girl, but Uzi was convinced Lizzy only kept her around cause she was gay for her. Like, she didn't speak English since she transferred from Russia, and she's almost as weird as Uzi. Keyword almost, cause they still hung out together, making fun of people like it was a hobby. She hated these kind of people.

"What do you want, Lizzy? I'm trying to go home." Uzi started, turning around fully to face the pair of menaces to her sanity, cocking an eyebrow when Lizzy just smiled wider.

"Oh I'm sorry," Lizzy said, uncrossing her arms and placing her hands on her hips, making a show of doing a small dance in place. "I had no idea! Let me just wait until you feel like talking to me, loser." She continued, rolling her eyes and approaching Uzi, sneering when she got close. "I don't give a shit if you're going home. See, I'm sure you're already aware I'm throwing a party soon to celebrate my brother's last game," She started, invading Uzi's personal space. "A party that you weren't invited to, of course. Problem is, we need some more entertainment. So, as the benevolent host of the party, I'm extending you a personal invite-" She continued, placing a threatening hand on Uzi's shoulder. "As our party's personal piñata! What an honor, right~" She asked, staring down at the short girl, fully confident in what she was saying. Uzi almost vomited before pulling away from her.

"Hell no, bitch. I'm not coming to some stupid party, let alone if you're just gonna use me as some clown act." She barked, glaring right back at Lizzy. "I don't know what goes on in your head for you to think of that, but obviously something up there is loose. Did you seriously think I was gonna agree to something like that?" Uzi leaned against her crutches for support as she backed away, further into the hallway and avoiding getting too close to any other students, but especially trying to avoid being anywhere near this nightmare. Lizzy frowned further before grinning, taking a small step forward and thrusting her hand forward, grabbing one of Uzi's crutches and yanking, pulling it out from under her. Uzi, suddenly unbalanced, fell to the floor with a cry as one of her knees slammed into the vinyl tiling. Lizzy stood above her, looking down on her like she was garbage that had yet to be taken out, and tossed the crutch to the floor.

"I don't take kindly to insults, freak." Lizzy said simply, grabbing a fistful of Uzi's hair and painfully pulling her up to look at her. "And I don't take no for an answer either. You're going to the party like I'm telling you to, or I'm gonna make your life absolute hell. As if it isn't already," She spewed with venom, smirking at the insult she had thought of. "Or are you really like everyone else thinks you are? Some depressed, emo cripple that not only can barely walk, but barely makes friends because she's afraid that someone's gonna realize she's even more gross than she lets on?" She continued, yanking Uzi's hair further, to which she responded with a wail, before softly chuckling to herself and looking up at her attacker.

"Bite my ass, you overgrown social media experiment." Uzi said, smirking to herself.

Lizzy scowled and raised her other hand to strike the small girl before someone came up from behind her, having pushed Doll out of the way, grabbing Lizzy's wrist harshly. Looking over her shoulder, pink eyes stared into gold, and Lizzy found herself letting go of Uzi before she could realize it.

"That's enough, Liz." Veronica said, staring down at the blonde with disdain. Doll stood behind her, staring in a semi-shocked state at how easily she had been pushed out of the way earlier. "Take your friend and get the hell out of here. I'm not asking." She continued, tightening her grip and Lizzy's wrist painfully, before letting go of it and stepping between her and the downed girl. Lizzy stared at her in awe before her brow furrowed, but she bit her tongue and turned away, dragging Doll along with her as she left the hallway. Veronica sighed in relief, thankful the situation didn't escalate further, turning and gently kicking the crutch on the ground towards Uzi. "There's your crutch, loser. Still gonna keep quiet about what it's for now that I've done you a favor?" Uzi looked at Veronica, picking the crutch up by the handle and getting to her feet once more. Contemplating for a second, she sighed.

"A favor? You got her off of my ass for the day, at best. That bitch never leaves me alone," She said, exhausted of Lizzy's behavior. "But fine, whatever, you helped. It's a muscle disease, happy? I'm going home now." Uzi continued, turning on her heel and continuing to hobble down the hallway. Veronica followed, stepping into line besides her and slowing her walking pace so that they'd walk side by side. Uzi decidedly ignored it for the moment as she made her way out of the school, stepping into the cold and down the nearby accessibility ramp.

"..You're not gonna tell me anything else?" Veronica asked, being nosy. She crossed her arms behind her head, occasionally looking over at the short girl. She was like, 5'4 or something? That's adorable, she thought, immediately throwing that thought from her mind as soon as she realized it.

"What else could you possibly need to know?" Uzi said, already annoyed at the extra presence. "I have a disease that affects my muscles. That's the gist of it, and that's all you need to know about it. If you're so curious, ask Lizzy. She convinced it out of me once, just to make fun of me with it." She continued 'walking', turning a nearby corner onto the next sidewalk, enjoying the feeling of the wind on her face, even though it was cold as shit out here.

"I mean, I could ask her, but would you rather me learn it from her perspective, or yours?" Veronica questioned. "She's gonna make it sound like you're a freak of nature. You, on the other hand, would probably just explain it as it is, even if you're a snarky little shit about it." She commented, using the few inches she had on Uzi to her advantage as she leaned over her. "I mean come on, I can't be the worst person to tell, right?" Uzi sighed, trying to quicken her pace to get away from the prying woman, but she just sped up and kept in line with her. Looking over, Uzi realized Veronica was actually looking at her. Not avoiding eye contact, like everyone else did, just.. looking at her. Like she was a person, not an exhibit.

"...Dystrophy," She found herself saying before she could stop it. "It's muscle dystrophy. The muscles in my legs and hands shrank, a lot, and they won't gain any mass back." She started explaining, turning back to watch where she was going, but that was an excuse. She just wanted to avoid looking back at Veronica. "That means I've got to use these stupid things," She says, gesturing with her canes shortly before speaking again. "For the rest of my life, probably. It hurts my hands to use them, but I've got meds for that, as well as the pain that's just normally in my legs." She finished, decidedly closing her mouth before she could say anything too stupid, or too blunt. Veronica hummed in acknowledgement as she walked alongside the girl in crutches.

"I see. Well, that sucks, don't it?" Veronica said, as if it was a question and not a statement. "And I wasn't kidding, Lizzy explained it like you were faking for attention or some shit." She continued, uncrossing her arms from her head and pocketing her hands. "You're weird, but you've got your reasons. I can respect that, at the very least." Uzi almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. Actually, she could believe the bit about Lizzy saying she was faking her illness, but the rest? It almost sounded like Veronica was actually feeling bad for her, not out of pity, but out of like, genuine sorrow? Did she know someone else that was disabled like her? She'd ask later if she got the chance, she wasn't gonna ruin a moment right now. Not with how pretty Veronica looked right now.

"Yeah, it does.. but I'm still alive, so that counts for something." Uzi decided to say, focusing more on the sound of her crutches clicking against the concrete. "As long as I can continue to be alive, I can spite anyone who tells me it's one of the worst things in the world. Sure it's not fun to live like this, but at least I'm not fully bedridden. Now that would be a hell of a time," She said, rolling her eyes before looking back at the taller girl. "Is something.. up with you? From the first impression I got of you yesterday, you're not this nice, not to me. What changed?" She questioned, slowing down to give her time to answer. "Was earlier some sort of act? Did Lizzy set you up to do this, to find out more she can use against me?"

On the other hand, Veronica stopped, freezing in place and staring at Uzi, who after noticing the sudden change, turned around and quirked an eyebrow at her. Gold met purple, and Veronica had to stop herself from blurting out compliments like an open dam. She thought she was playing her, to get her guard down, make her spill her own secrets. She couldn't blame her, not after what she saw Lizzy doing. If that was almost every day for her, she understands why she's so closed off, unwilling to talk to other people, lest they say something to her that grates against her mental. Veronica shuffled in place, bringing one of her hands out of her pockets to scratch the back of her head anxiously before she said anything.

"No, I'm not playing you. Genuine curiosity," She assured softly, sighing. "Lizzy is a bitch, I can agree with you, but she didn't set me up to do this. I decided to do it, by myself. Call it some sort of divine reckoning or whatever," Veronica laughed, pocketing her hand again. "I actually have a family member with a, uh... mental deficit, I wanna call it, but I'm not sure if that's one-hundred percent what it is. We just know she learns a lot slower than other kids, and combined with her personality, she's kind of a landmine of trouble just waiting for someone to trigger it." Continuing walking, in which Uzi reluctantly followed suit, Veronica slumped as she continued talking. "I don't blame you for thinking that, though. What Lizzy was doing is pretty shitty. I can't imagine having someone do that to me, let alone make it a habit."

This time, Uzi really couldn't believe what she was hearing. Veronica was talking to her, making conversation, asking what was up with her, and she was doing it all of how own accord. She just.. wanted to. Uzi felt the beginning of a tear forming at the edge of her eye and wiped it away, shaking her head before nodding in acknowledgement. And she mentioned a family member, maybe a sister, that had a disability like she did. She wondered what it was, but her earlier question was already too much, so she held her tongue on that for now.

"..Okay. I'll take your word for it, don't make me regret it." She said, slowly rounding another corner towards the small neighborhood she lived in. "You should probably go home, if someone else from school sees you talking to me, they'll talk. Can't let your new-found reputation get ruined, can you?" She asked playfully, glancing at the taller girl who had scoffed at her. "I'm kidding, mostly. But really, we're near where I live anyways, I can make it the rest of the way back on my own." She continued on, rambling at this point, looking back to the way she was going so she didn't trip on a crack. "Thanks.. for the company, I guess. It's nice to not walk home entirely alone for once." Uzi said softly, almost whispering, but Veronica heard her anyways.

"Don't mention it. What kind of person would I be if I let a cute girl walk home alone?" Veronica said, only realizing what she had let slip after it was already out there, before internally panicking as soon as Uzi whipped her head around to look at her, wide-eyed. She wasn't about to acknowledge the fact that she called her cute, though. "Seriously, don't mention it. Lizzy is annoying enough as is, if she finds out I walked you most of the way home she'll yap my ears off for the next month at the very least. Where does she get the energy to complain that much?" She continued, a mental high-five to herself at the distraction, cause Uzi seemed to forget about the comment as she barked out a laugh, shaking her head. God, Veronica hated the feeling this girl gave her, but they weren't even friends. Were they?

"Okay, I won't. See you at school tomorrow." Uzi said finally, turning towards a bright house on the street and Veronica realized she had walked her all the way home. Before Veronica could say anything, Uzi stopped walking towards the door and turned around, moving one of her crutches so she could comfortably take something out of her bag. Confused, Veronica watched her pull out her sketchbook and pens, ripping out a page and scribbling something onto it. When Uzi put her things back and looked back up, her face flushed red when she walked back towards Veronica, definitely not subtly reaching forward and shoving something into her pocket without asking. With another smile, Uzi turned back towards the house and walked away, leaving Veronica to look down into her pocket, to find the page Uzi had ripped out of her sketchbook, finding herself looking at a hastily written phone number, and stared at it in awe before looking back at Uzi walking into her house. She definitely didn't wave at her as she walked into the house and closed the door behind her, definitely didn't think about telling Uzi that tomorrow was a weekend, definitely didn't make a mental note of where Uzi lived in case she wanted to see her again, and she definitely didn't smile like an idiot when she turned back and kept walking home.

She definitely didn't do any of those things.

~♥️~

Uzi laid in bed at night, fidgeting with the blankets under her fingertips as she rested her head against her prop-up pillow, too tired to do anything right now, but not tired enough to sleep. She sighed softly, using the silence to contemplate. Veronica called her cute, for God's sake.. Had she meant that, or was it an in the moment thing? Was she serious, or was she messing with her? She's had people do that before, pretend to be into her for pity points with other people, before dropping her like she hadn't even mattered to them. She probably didn't, honestly. She wasn't able to finish that thought though, as a shrill sound emanated from her phone, letting her know she had a message. Scrambling to pick it up, Uzi looked at the notification.

'Hey twerp, it's Veronica. Figured you'd need my number as well so you can have it in your phone. Don't tell anyone.' It read, and Uzi smiled to herself, eyes lighting up as she added the number to her contacts. Sending a quick, affirmative reply, Uzi laid back into bed, suddenly a lot more relaxed than before. It was weird the kind of effect that girl was having on her, but she didn't dwell on it, figuring it was a good time to sleep so that she could get up early, even if she had remembered it wasn't a school day tomorrow, which now that she thought about it, she had told Veronica she'd see her at school tomorrow. Already fucking up in front of one of the prettiest girls she's ever seen, and she hadn't even realized it until now. Fuck.

Still, she slept the best she has in ages. That's got to count for something.

~♥️~

Chapter Text

~♥️~

Lights on, lights out

Fade into the background

So down, so down

Running from the silhouette of self-doubt

By now, by now

Really should've figured this shit out

Lights on, lights out

~♥️~

Meds, temporary drowning, clothes, ignore her dad, leave to take a trip to the park, since it was a free day. It wasn't the best idea, but it was nice to get out of the house for a while. Uzi almost tried talking to her dad today, see if she can strike up a half-decent conversation with him, maybe ask him a couple of things and actually get him interested in talking to his own daughter without saying something demeaning, or crude. She knows he didn't mean it, but it still hurts when your own dad says something like 'Maybe if I had done something different, you would've turned out better' or something else that wrecks her mood, makes her feel like she's just a burden on his life. It sucked, yeah, but he was her dad, and she would rather deal with his shit than be homeless or something. Not that it'd be much worse, she was basically living by herself anyways. She swore she could hear her dad talking to himself about his 'real daughter' once, whatever the hell he meant by that.

Contrary to her line of thought, the outside surroundings were really peaceful this early in the morning. It was cold, but Uzi liked that. It gave her an excuse to wear her longer-sleeved shirts or hoodies, other than just trying to be comfortable. The fallen leaves added color to the landscape that was normally devoid of emotion, something that saddened Uzi. It was so boring around here, there was nothing to do, and there wasn't anyone to talk to. Maybe Veronica, but she didn't know where she lived, let alone what her schedule was like when she had free time, she hadn't talker to her that much. She just knew she was a lot nicer than she let on, and that she was gorgeous. Like, abnormally so. Was it normal to think someone was that pretty? Surely not, right? What was wrong with her recently? She could confidently say that at least half of her thoughts since last night have been, in some way or another, related to Veronica.

She contemplated that in silence while she sat down on a nearby park bench, the wood creaking against the metal foundation under her weight, even though she didn't weigh that much. Sure she was like, the tiniest bit above average, but she wasn't overweight. She was, uh.. plush, yeah, she'd call it that. Besides the point, she kept thinking to herself while she scanned her surroundings, watching people walk by, having their own conversations, pets playing or running in the dead grass. It was nice here, she could just hang out and exist without anyone bothering her. Not like they would anyways, as she placed her crutches between her legs to keep them nearby for when she decided to get up and needed them. She looked down at her phone and opened it, staring at the most recent contact in her phone and contemplating whether or not to message her. What would she even say? 'Hey, I'm at the park right now, wanna come by and let me stare at your face like a creep for an hour or two?' Uzi outwardly gagged just thinking about it. She didn't know what else to do, though. She wanted to see Veronica, wanted to talk to her, laugh with her, she wanted-

Oh.

Oh, she wanted to kiss her. That was new.

Well, if there was any time to realize you were gay, now would be the best time, Uzi guessed. She hadn't really thought about it before, she only ever really considered herself as 'that one lonely girl', cause she was halfway convinced that by the time her disease popped up, her love life was ruined. Of course there were other people in the world disabled in a similar way that she was and they had romantic partners, so logically she could have one too, but she didn't think about that, she only thought about being cast out by her peers, her 'friends' or whatever the hell they used to be. Uzi brought a hand up to rub down her face, somewhat in awe at her own stupidity. How was she nineteen, in college, and only now realized she was into girls? Is that what people called disaster or useless lesbians on the internet? Surely she could've thought about this sometime sooner, but she wasn't really worried about that right now. She was kind of just panicking about the fact that she met one girl and suddenly not only was she gay, but she wanted to kiss said girl silly until one of them couldn't breathe anymore. Whether herself or Veronica, she didn't really know but she didn't really care. It was a big enough thought as is, she didn't want to complicate it any further. How would she go about that, either? They were barely friends, they gave each other their numbers yesterday, she can't just randomly go up and tell her, could she? She cringed at the thought, knowing how badly that would probably go. What if she hated her, or said something crude? 'The worst she can say is no' her ass, she could start making fun of her again. She didn't think Veronica would do that, but she had to be safer than sorry, at least for now. Maybe she'd get a hint that she felt the same way? She wasn't gonna risk it otherwise, she thought at first.

Or she could just send her a quick text, asking if she meant what she said other day. That'd be a good start. Well, if she was gonna make a mistake, might as well do it on her own terms. Looking back to her phone and typing out a quick message to Veronica, Uzi hovered her thumb over the send button before sighing and pressing it, quickly turning her phone and pocketing it before she had to read whatever reply came through.

This couldn't possibly go any worse than the rest of her life, right?

~♥️~

Veronica sat at the table with her family again, browsing her phone while twiddling with her fork against her plate, hungry enough to sit and eat, but not hungry enough to actively work on eating. She'd eat when she felt like it, she thought, looking at her family continue conversing amongst themselves, besides Cyn who was sitting in the floor a few feet away, playing with toys and talking to herself. Veronica smiled at the sight, knowing her sister was probably having the time of her life over there. She was just waiting to see if Uzi would message her, eagerly awaiting the notification like waiting for the bell to ring after class. The rest of her family was talking about something that had happened at Jay's job the other day, besides Noah who was seemingly off in his own world, staring.. at her? Or the wall behind her. She didn't know, but she quirked a brow at him and it seemed to snap him out of it, and he quickly spoke up.

"Sorry V," He started, using her nickname that her family had given her to simplify addressing her. "I was just wondering, you've been on your phone all day so far. Did you make a new friend in class or something?" Noah asked, positively glowing with happiness at the idea. At the same time, the other two sitting at the table snapped out of their conversation and looked over at Veronica as well, suddenly a lot more interested in her conversation with Noah than her own. "I don't mean to pry, but you've been smiling a lot. You don't have to say, I was just curious." He added, scratching the back of his head like he was apologizing, taking another bite of his breakfast to avoid talking too much.

"..It's fine," She started, putting her phone down at the earlier comment and taking a small bite of her pancake. "And, uh.. I guess so. We exchanged numbers yesterday, so I was thinking about if they were gonna message me or not." Veronica continued, not specifying the gender of her new definitely-not-really-cute friend that she definitely didn't think about all night before she passed out. "It's not a big deal, but I don't have any plans for the day, so I guessed it'd be nice to have someone to go out and talk to. No offense, but it gets tiring with you people," She laughed, pointing her fork around the table at her family. Tessa was the first to smile and laugh, followed by Noah, but Jay just stared at her, narrowing her eyes when she noticed how vague Veronica was being about this mystery person. Crossing her arms, Jay interrupted the conversation, sending a small (loving) glare across the table.

"And you're waiting on this person to message you so fervently why?" She asked, leaning into her chair. "You're acting like a lovesick teenager. Given you are a teenager still, but I digress. Is this 'person' actually a friend, or are you finally seeing someone that, thankfully, isn't whoever that blonde dyke the other day was?" Jay said, not-so-subtly taking a jab at Veronica's other friend, Lizzy. Actually, scratch that, they were acquaintances. Veronica wasn't sure if she wanted to be friends with Lizzy still after that stunt the other day. "I don't want to assume anything, but the only friends you've been making recently have been girls. Is that a subconscious thing, or are you just doing that on purpose?" She continued, smirking to herself knowingly, like she knew something that Veronica didn't. What could she have possibly known? It wasn't like Veronica was constantly thinking about Uzi, or thinking about how her eyes and cheeks crinkled when she smiled the other day, or how invitingly peaceful she looked when she was thinking about what to say next. Or, god forbid, it wasn't like she was thinking about how sweet it would taste to-

Oh.

Well, that's definitely a thought for later.

"Oh shut up, 'Jaybird'," Veronica bit back from across the table, rolling her eyes as she stared at the two across the table, avoiding Noah's gaze on her. "You're like, the biggest lesbian at this table and you know it. You and Tessa aren't exactly subtle," She laughed, pointing an accusing finger at the two, who flushed red at the accusation and started stuttering excuses, only for her to cut them off. "It's fine, none of us care, I think you know that. Just keep quiet sometimes, not everyone likes to stay up as late as you guys do. I have no idea how you guys get that much energy," Veronica said, shivering at the thought as she took another bite. "But for your information, yes, the friend I made is a girl, what about it? You gonna start lecturing me on who I make friends with now? And don't mention Lizzy, I'm kind of iffy with her right now." She left off, deciding to focus on finishing her food while Jay and Tessa sighed, while N let out a small chuckle at their expense before turning back to Veronica.

"I think it's great that you're making friends so quickly, actually. Jay is just jealous of your natural charisma, considering how long it took her and Tessa to get together," Noah said, ignoring the small 'Hey!' from Jay from his side. "And none of us mind which way you swing, just that you're happy. So if you're happy with this other girl, maybe it's worth trying?" He continued, pushing his plate away from him as he finished eating and stood up, intent on grabbing his things and leaving for his own studies, since he didn't have the day off like she did. "You only live once, you know? If you think it's a good idea, or even a bad idea, maybe you should try it out anyway, just for fun. You never know what's gonna happen until you try it, so. Good luck!" Noah let off, grabbing a backpack and waving at the rest of his family, heading out the door and closing it behind him with a soft thud.

The rest of them sat in silence, deciding now was the best time to let their conversation die as Veronica finished eating her food, pushing the plate towards the center to let Jay deal with the dishes as she normally did. Waving, Veronica pocketed her phone and walked out the door as well, choosing to take out the trash as she left in return for leaving her dirty dishes on the table, as she usually did. Humming to herself as she walked down the sidewalk with no set destination in mind, Veronica almost jumped when her phone dinged with a notification. Much more rushed than she should have, Veronica pulled her phone back out of her pocket and looked down at it, reading the notification slowly as to not mess it up in her head.

'at the park right now, got curious, wanted to ask. did you mean what you said yesterday?' It read, and Veronica tilted her head, confused, before another message came through. This one read: 'about calling me cute, i mean. i probably should've specified that when i sent the first message. srry', and Veronica physically felt her heart jump in her chest. She had never been so happy to turn on her heel and walk the other way towards the park before, so there's a first for everything, she guessed. What a world she lived in, wanting to talk to this cute girl in crutches so badly that it almost made her physically sick at the anxiety of thinking about how Uzi would respond when she said she had meant it, but didn't mean to say it then. Maybe she wouldn't tell her that part.

Maybe it'd be okay.

~♥️~

Chapter Text

~♥️~

Let it be, let it be, quote John Lennon

Click-clack, John got shot for attention

What does that tell you about the good of intentions?

Bitterness formed in the storm of aggression

Prophets get dropped, imagining heaven

Martin Luther, Mahatma, dead and

Six, six, followed by six and seven

Build 'em, praise 'em, bury 'em, dead 'em

~♥️~

Veronica walked into the park, scanning the environment slowly, trying to see if she could figure out where Uzi was without texting her back, wanting to surprise her with her appearance, knowing she wouldn't expect her to just show up in person. Actually, maybe she did. Whatever, she was already here, so might as well make the most of it. It was almost freezing out here, so she was regretting not wearing a thicker layer of clothing or jacket, or something like that. If she said anything about it later, Tessa would kick her ass, so she'd have to suffer in silence. At least later, she could complain now, in front of Uzi, whenever she found her. No pain no gain, or whatever dipshits said on the internet. Her anxiety at the threat of rejection hovered over the horizon, but she couldn't just go home now. She walked all the way here to see Uzi, to talk to her and maybe more, if she was being honest with herself. She wasn't very good with emotions, she knew that, but like Noah told her before he left, everything is worth a shot once. Sure, it might backfire, and she was really hoping it wouldn't, but there's no guarantee it will, or that it won't. Only one way to find out.

Problem being, she couldn't find Uzi. The park wasn't that big, surely it would be easy to spot that extremely unique shade of purple hair, but here she was, standing around the middle of the path like a dumbass, looking around the rest of the park with her eyebrows furrowed. Where the hell was this girl? Sure, she was small, but that didn't matter that much in a park that was like, the same color everywhere. Veronica's sight wasn't the greatest, which her family continuously annoyed her about getting glasses for, but she never wore them. They made her look stupid, she thought, so she just dealt with it. Finally, akin to a beacon in the darkness, Veronica spotted a small blur of purple in the distance to her left, turning in said direction and starting a slow march towards it as subtly as possible, knowing that if it was Uzi, she'd probably spot her as she walked up anyways, but she didn't really care that much. Bringing out her phone for a second to take a quick glance at the time and noting that it was still an hour until noon, she smiled and pocketed her phone and hands, looking back up to the waiting figure in the distance. Once she made decent progress in her trek, her vision decided to clear and she finally saw Uzi, sitting by herself on a park bench, fiddling with her hands as she looked down at the ground, her crutches between her legs, presumably to keep them from going anywhere.

Her hair was more unkempt today, like she had just woken up, or she hadn't bothered to clean herself up before going out. She couldn't blame her, the only reason she combed her hair that morning was because Jay would've yelled at her if she hadn't. Her eyebrows were furrowed as well, like she was concentrating on something, or she was lost in thought. It was cute how her face scrunched into itself, the crinkles on her face giving her more to look at, which was nice. Looking a bit more, she noticed she was actually in something other than a hoodie for once. Given it was a black sweater, so it wasn't that different, but it was a good change of pace. It gave Veronica pause, though, because she could've sworn Uzi was much, uh, thinner last time she saw her. Was she hiding under loose clothing because she felt bad about how her body looked? That was even sadder, and she hated that she felt that uncomfortable in her own skin. Another item on the list of 'What's causing this girl to not like herself this much?', and another thing she wanted to somehow help with. She'd figure that out later, because right now she was adorable, and whether a good or a bad thing, Veronica was about to get close enough to actually talk to her. Of course it was good cause it meant talking to her, but she had no idea how to start a conversation like this, not after realizing that not only is Uzi onto her for her earlier comment, but especially now that she realized that she was gay for this girl. Time to think fast lesbo, cause it's go time.

"'Sup, shortstack." Veronica said, finally getting into earshot of the smaller girl, relishing the sight of Uzi whipping her head up to stare at Veronica, apparently not having noticed her approach. Sitting down on the bench, Veronica brought her hands out to lean back, wrapping them over the rim of the back of it, crossing one of her legs over the other to get comfortable. She was gonna need to be, if she wanted to do this. "You said you were at the park so I took a random guess and came by, do a quick check-up on you. Hope you don't care that much," She continued, looking at the other girl with a small hint of admiration for being out here for so long, probably waiting on her to respond to at least one of her texts or answer her question. "Mostly kidding, I know you don't actually give a shit. But seriously, you good? It's a little bit cold out here, so I'm hoping you're not trying to get yourself sick, or something. You might have enough of a problem with that as it is." Veronica stifled a laugh at the small glare Uzi gave her at that comment, choosing to smile back at her. "But yeah, what's up? You looked kind of down in the dumps when I was on my way over here. What's eating at you, girl?" She decided to leave off, questioning the girl about what she was thinking about without outright saying so, hoping she would catch the drift and tell her anyways. Uzi, still staring at Veronica, sighed before she laughed back, crossing her arms.

"I was just thinking about something, it's not that big of a deal. You seriously came all the way out here for that? You're weird," She started with, letting a small giggle escape at Veronica's expense, and her heart fluttered when she rolled her eyes, looking back down at her like she was treasured, not detested. "But that's okay. We can be weird together, huh?" Asked Uzi, nudging the tall girl with her elbow. "Weirdos have to stick together, after all. Unless you're scared I'm gonna infect you or something, or if you're a coward." She teased, noting the small twitch in Veronica's eye, before unconsciously leaning into Veronica, resting her head on her shoulder without thinking. "I, uh.. I appreciate the thought, though. People don't usually worry about what I feel, let alone what I think. It's nice to be cared about, for a change, I guess." She finished, rolling her own eyes as she looked back down at the ground, covered in the fallen leaves of autumn, just another sign that the weather was getting colder, as if the fact that she was freezing her ass off right now wasn't a good enough tell for her. Upon the eerie silence, Uzi realized what she had done and sat up, startled, but quickly fell back down onto Veronica when a hand came up, pulling her back. When she looked over, Veronica was looking away from her, staring off into the distance in silence, but she felt her hand on the side of her head, running fingers through her hair like it was nothing. She had leaned into her on accident, and she not only didn't care, but she was reciprocating?

This was different. It was nice. She felt warm, wanted, appreciated, loved. Did.. Did Veronica love her, too? Is that why she called her cute the other day? What could she have possibly meant otherwise? She didn't think Veronica would take pity on her like that, not anymore. She wanted to trust her, so she was going to. She really hoped that she didn't regret this, they were only friends recently after all, and taking chances isn't something that Uzi was used to doing. She had always played it safe before, staying in her own lane, being quiet, avoiding trouble like it was the plague. And yet here she was, leaning into this taller girl, living in the moment and appreciating the feeling of Veronica's fingers sifting through her hair, gently scratching against her scalp, which was much more soothing than Uzi had imagined it would be. Consciously this time, Uzi leaned into the soft touch, noticing Veronica flinch for a moment before calming down, continuing to explore the top of Uzi's head with her fingers, neither of them speaking to one another, just enjoying each other's company, enjoying the moment while it lasted, together. The park around them buzzed with the sound of chirping birds, separate conversations happening along the path as people walked by the two oblivious lovebirds, other park-goers playing games with their children or pets, drowning out the awkward silence, before finally, much to Uzi's delight, Veronica decided to speak up, finally breaking the silent tension like a knife through butter.

"I meant it," She said simply, not looking down, still avoiding the gaze of the smaller girl, staring off at random leaves in the distance. "I, uh.. I didn't really mean to say it out loud, but I still meant it. Still do, if that matters." Bringing her free hand to fiddle with the hem of her shirt, Veronica continued talking, taking a deep breath before she turned back to Uzi. "I'm really not sure why, but it just felt natural to say at the time, so.. I think you're cute. Adorable, even, and I hope you don't really care that I say that because it's gonna be a hell of an awkward rest of the conversation if you do." She continued, laughing at the comment while Uzi sat and stared at her in disbelief. "I don't want to make any assumptions, obviously, but.. I'd like to believe that you, at least somewhat, feel the same way about me?" Veronica said sheepishly, pulling her shirt down from where she had messed with it too much, bringing her hand back up to scratch the back of her head, going silent for a moment before she added onto her sentence. "Or not, I'm being stupid. We only met a few days ago, I shouldn't expect that from you, let alone expect you to-" She started, only for Uzi to cut her off by bringing one of her own hands up, grabbing her by the chin and making her turn towards the smaller girl, staring at her with a mixture off confidence, anxiety, and what seemed to be admiration?

"If you keep talking, I'm gonna slap the stupid out of you," She said, rolling her eyes when Veronica scoffed at her. "I don't think you're cute, I think you're drop-dead gorgeous, Veronica. That's the reason I asked in the first place," Letting go of her chin, Uzi brought her hand back down and placed it onto Veronica's thigh, smiling softly to herself. "I was hoping you meant it, because that meant.. that I had a chance to have someone in my life that wasn't friends with me because they felt bad for me, but because they just wanted to be. Or more than that, I was hoping you felt something like I did. I'm not exactly the best person in the world to talk about something like this, but.. I wanna try, y'know? I don't think I'll get anywhere if I don't," Uzi continued, rubbing a small pattern into Veronica's skin with her thumb. "Maybe you are being stupid. Maybe I'm being stupid. But if we're both being stupid, then we can be stupid together, can't we?" She left off, looking back up at Veronica and smiling, to which Veronica replied by smiling but staying silent, deciding to bring Uzi's head back down onto her shoulder, resting her own head on top, pulling Uzi closer to herself, not just out of her own feelings, but to also share body heat because god was it fucking cold out here.

They sat in silence, enjoying one another's company, before Veronica decided to tilt her head enough to look down at Uzi, who upon feeling the movement, looked up as well, meeting Veronica's stare with a smile. Veronica wordlessly bent over slightly to lean over Uzi's face, and without warning, pressed a small, gentle, chaste kiss to Uzi's forehead, before pulling herself back up to rest her head against Uzi's scalp once more, and Uzi flushed red, smiling even wider as she settled down, looking back at the rest of the park as they continued enjoying each other's company.

Uzi had never felt so alive before now.

~♥️~

Chapter Text

~♥️~

I was born to be half a girl, with half a chance

My heart is in half; half-righteous, half is damned

And half a gram, half those troubles and

Thoughts stay darker than Uruk-Hai master plan

Sharper than, glass shards splinter and

Sinner man, sinner man, irony could kill a man

Pain makes money when the music lands expand

Pay me my cheese, rain down parmesan

~♥️~

Uzi lay in bed that same night, giggling to herself gently as she texted back and forth with Veronica, who she had now aptly named in her phone as 'V' with like, six different heart emojis next to it, something that made her both cringe and swoon, knowing that she was a lovesick loser, but the girl she was in love with felt pretty similar to how she did. It was nice, feeling like she was loved for once. Veronica was the new devil on her shoulder, making her do things she had never done before, like actually outright saying she was gorgeous, to her face of all things. Uzi had no idea what had come over her, but she was breaking more out of her shell recently, specifically for this girl she had only met what, like last week? Love at first sight be damned, she was way over her head right now, but it seemed to be going well for now, so she wasn't going to say anything negative about it. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, or whatever the hell. This was her first chance at an actually good relationship, she wasn't just gonna throw it away, she was gonna take advantage of this. It helped that she was genuinely head over heels for Veronica and that it was a mutual feeling. It was a great feeling, she wasn't gonna lie about it. She had never felt this.. appreciated before. Not even her dad made her feel loved the way Veronica did. That was kind of sad, she thought, but she didn't care what he thought right now. Sending a quick reply back to Veronica once she had finished kicking her feet, Uzi sat up from bed and grabbed her crutches, stumbling into the hallway and towards the kitchen, intent on grabbing something to eat. She was hungry, but she wasn't hungry enough to eat a full meal, so she would grab a pop tart or something, and head back to her room. She had a new girlfriend to talk to, after all. That was a weird thought to have, but it made Uzi's eyes crinkle when she smiled softly. Unfortunately for her, whatever cosmic power there was had another plan, as her father was at the table, working on some project on his laptop for the company he worked at or for, she didn't remember nor care, he was too focused on whatever it was to care for her anyways, so it was whatever. Even more unfortunately, he seemed to quickly notice her coming out of her room and looked over, frowning softly, which made more sense to her than his smile the other day. It looked more natural, that look of disappointment. It stung, but she brushed it off when he started talking.

"Uzi, dear?" He questioned, pushing himself away from the table gently, and turning towards her. "You've been quiet a lot recently, and it's worrying me. If there's something you want to tell me, then you know I'm here to listen, right?" He said, and Uzi fought back the urge to scoff at his hypocrisy. He never worried and he was never here for her. Why would he start now? "I realize that it hasn't been great, the past couple of years, since your mom died.. but I swear I'm trying my best." Khan continued, crossing his arms over his lap. He looked at Uzi with what seemed to be genuine worry, but she wasn't letting her guard down around him that easily. She was convinced that it would just hurt her in the end, so all she did was continue on her way to the kitchen, sparing him a sparse look before turning away, trying to prioritize getting something to eat over listening to him spew his bullshit. "..Uzi, you can't just ignore me. I'm still your father," He spoke up again, about to continue before Uzi, not bothering to turn around back to him, cut him off before he could.

"Are you?" She asked simply, grabbing a cinnamon pop tart that had been sitting on the counter before she finally turned back to him. "Or are you just the guy I live with? Because it really feels like the latter," Continuing, she started grimacing as she started her trek from the kitchen towards the table. "You're always at work, you almost always ignore me when you're home, and the only time you ever talk to me is to either say something about what happened at work for the day, which by the way, I do not give a single fuck about, or you want to act worried because you feel guilty." She barked at him, each word dripping with more venom than the last one. "Do you actually even care about me? Or do you just feel bad about the fact that you're stuck living with a daughter who can't even walk on her own?!" Uzi yelled at the man, who flinched at the comment as he sat in his chair, feeling a lot smaller than before all of a sudden. "You've only ever looked at me with sad, depressed eyes! Don't pretend you feel anything for me but pity!" She screamed, pulling out her phone to send another quick text to Veronica, before pocketing it and starting a walk towards the door. 

She couldn't handle being in this house right now, not with this guy. 

"I'm going out. Don't wait for me." She said softly, and her 'dad' fought to say something, but she ignored it and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind her and walking down the pavement. She heard the door reopen behind her, and Khan saying something, probably trying to get her to come back, but she ignored it and continued walking. She heard the silence come back and almost started crying, thinking back to what she had said and the fact that it was probably true, even if she didn't want it to be. Had he ever looked at her without pitying her, somehow? Because she hadn't remembered if he had or not, but she was pretty sure he didn't. It was only ever negative with him. What was she supposed to do to get him to just respect her? She couldn't go back and just not have her disease, if she could've then she would've done that a hell of a long time ago. She felt her phone ring in her pocket and checked it, knowing it could be Veronica, but it was just Khan still. Immediately denying the call, he tried calling again, but she ignored it to check her texts, of which was a reply from Veronica, with an address. She smiled at how quickly she had received it, knowing Veronica cared about her more than her own dad did was comforting, even if it was sad from an outside perspective.

Now she just had to get there.

~♥️~

Veronica paced around her kitchen, stressed out from the last text Uzi had sent her, saying she needed to come over for a bit, possibly the night. Veronica wasn't about to tell her no, of course, and the rest of her family seemed supportive enough when she broke the news that not only was her friend coming over, but that this friend was now, by technicality, her girlfriend, even though they hadn't officially said that out yet, but she couldn't help but wonder why she wanted to come over at such short notice, let alone this late at night. It was almost dark out, and she was walking all the way over here. She knew she had probably left home already so she couldn't do anything at the moment but hope that she got here safely, but she believed she would anyway. She was stronger than that, she was sure of it. It didn't mean she still couldn't be extremely worried though, and her family watched her pace around the room, bringing her phone out and pocketing it multiple times, checking over and over again for another text from Uzi. When there wasn't one, she cursed under her breath, furrowing her brow in frustration as she continued marching around the room, impatiently awaiting the girl's arrival. She didn't know what to do when she got there, except just be here. She was probably feeling terrible if she was coming over this late, so she probably didn't want to poke and prod at a hornet's nest as soon as it showed up. It'd probably be better to just let her relax a while, make sure she was okay, and she'd probably talk about it naturally. If she didn't, then she'd gently breach the subject, because it'd be better for her to get it off of her chest rather than letting it fester. Veronica knew a little about that from experience.

Her family, meanwhile, was in slight awe at how she was acting. None of them had ever seen Veronica worried like this before. Hell, she was wearing her glasses for once so she could see if any texts came through. It was like a switch had been flipped, turning her personality into a complete one-eighty, replacing Veronica with some alter ego that was ten times as caring as the usual one. Noah, specifically, was kind of happy to see her like this. Not the part about being worried for her girlfriend, just the fact that she was caring so much about this girl, whoever she was, even though from what he knew, they only met recently. He was a big fan of love at first sight, so he was extremely proud of Veronica for shooting her shot as fast as she did, from what she had told him at least. Cyn had gone to bed early, so she wasn't here to see it, but he would tell her all about it later. He knew she was a sucker for gossip, especially if it was about someone in the family. Meanwhile, Tessa and Jay were sitting on the couch and cuddling, whispering sweet nothings to one another like no one else was in the room. He was pretty sure that if given enough time, they'd just start making out on the couch. Again. For the fifth time in the past few days. It was almost a ritual for the two of them at this point, but they were going to have company soon, so maybe it was a good idea to hold back on the lovey-dovey stuff for a minute so as to not make her uncomfortable. He sat up from across the room to say something, but Veronica spoke up before he could.

"She's gonna be here in a minute," She said, looking over to the three sitting in the living room. "Don't start making out right before she gets here, neither of you will hear the doorbell go off, no offense, but I don't want her walking in here and watching you two tongue wrestle when she might not be feeling the best" Crossing her arms, Veronica smiled at the two lovebirds before turning to Noah and continuing. "N, can you please grab a glass of water for when she gets here? I wanna be able to answer the door as soon as she does." Veronica said, smiling softly at him. He saluted and nodded at the same time, disappearing into the kitchen while she stood around the doorway, waiting for Uzi to knock so she could open it, tapping her foot impatiently. She knew she was being impatient, but she was still excited to see her girlfriend again so quickly, even though she had seen and talked to her at the park earlier that day. The walk they took together was nice, but she was sure anything they did together would've been just as good, if not better. Jumping when the doorbell rang, Veronica raced to the door and let out a breath she wasn't even aware she was holding in, and cracked the door open to greet the small girl that was sitting outside. She opened the door to let her in, about to say something but got cut off when Uzi just rushed forward and hugged her, burying her face in her chest to avoid having to look at her. Veronica stayed silent, opting to just embrace Uzi as well, pressing small kisses to the top of her head through the beanie she was wearing, whispering affirmations, telling her it was gonna be okay, all of that jazz.

And Uzi believed her. It was gonna be okay, now.

Veronica was here for her, and that's all she had to be.

~♥️~

Chapter Text

~♥️~

Six, six six

Followed by seven,

Seven whole sins for a self-made Armageddon,

Sin one, Pride.

Pride makes a man kill a man, for his ego to survive.

Sin two, Lust.

Lust makes the grass look greener, crucifies trust.

Sin three, Gluttony.

Humans consume and consume, planet Earth gets a frontal lobotomy,

Four, Sloth.

Rinse and repeat, reruns, repeats, time lost.

Sin five, Envy.

That's when one man's win, is another man's frenzy.

Sin six, Wrath.

Rage, vengeance, killers, psychopaths

Sin seven, Greed.

Greed plants a seed that will destroy us all if we succumb to greed,

If we take what we need, then take more than we need, then our oceans will bleed

Still, we feed and we feed and we sleep, then repeat

Then we exile the shepherds and follow the sheep,

We inherit the meek, we inherit this world that we bruised and we beat,

We inherit this vanity, circus of creeps,

Inherit the liars, the murderous thieves,

One sin for every one day of the week.

~♥️~

Veronica sat in a large blue beanbag in her room, a gift from Noah he had gotten her during her 17th birthday, watching Uzi sit across from her at the edge of her bed,  scrolling on her phone nonchalantly, not actively ignoring Veronica being there with her, just needing a distraction, which she understood. She had explained pretty vaguely that she had gotten into a fight with her dad, and needed a place to get away from him for a while, so she very eagerly offered to host her for a few days if she felt like it, which Uzi had agreed to with a bit of insisting after she had been concerned about being a burden on the rest of her family. They however, also assured her that it was fine for her to stay as long as she wanted, bar Jay who had simply rolled her eyes and walked away, but Veronica made sure it wasn't taken to heart. Jay was just like that, it wasn't anything against Uzi, she was sure. Noah was positively ecstatic for the first hour, asking question after question about Uzi and what she was like, as well as what her crutches were for, which Veronica cringed at in the beginning, but Uzi had only laughed at his positive attitude and explained it to him gently. He had listened intently and nodded at the end, and instead of offering apologies for the circumstances, simply told her she was strong to live like that. Uzi, being Uzi, was caught off guard by the comment and almost started crying (again, she had cried a bit as soon as she got there), and only then did he start apologizing. Veronica had watched with a small smile, glad that her family was getting along with the newfound presence so far, cause that meant she wouldn't have to argue with them anytime soon about being able to see Uzi or have her over. After a few more conversations about what Uzi had been doing or how she was feeling, which she didn't comment much on, Veronica had politely excused the two of them so she could 'drag' Uzi to her room so she could relax, knowing she probably needed it. If a fight with her dad made her upset enough to willingly walk all the way down to her house, when it was a decent trek away from her own, she was definitely one wrong comment from bawling her eyes out, she was sure of that, so she was walking on eggshells right now, trying to start picking out the right words to get her attention without making her feel even worse.

"..Can you tell me more about what happened between you and your dad?" She gently said aloud, quiet enough to not startle her girlfriend, who looked up once she had started talking. "You told me you got into a fight, but you didn't elaborate very much on what it was about. Help me understand what went wrong, so I can help you hopefully feel better?" Veronica asked, leaning forward in the beanbag to sit up, coming quite a bit closer to Uzi's face, who had turned around and hung her head over the edge of the bed, looking up at her with a sparkle in her eye, which she found really cute still. "I know you probably don't wanna talk about it, so you don't have to. If you just want me to be here, then I'll do that either way." She left off, bringing one of her hands up to grab at strands of Uzi's hair, brushing them out of her face so she could get a better look at the small girl. Uzi blushed in response, face flushing red as she brought one of her own hands up to take hold of Veronica's wrist, bringing it back towards her and placing it against her cheek, just holding it there for a moment as she closed her eyes, simply savoring the feeling of the larger woman's skin on hers. The (basically) couple sat quiet together, enjoying the moment, the soft chirping of the crickets outside occasionally breaking the veil of silence. After opening her eyes, Uzi just stared at Veronica, who stared back, sharing the eye contact as she continued caressing the cheek her hand was (forcibly) placed against, her thumb running a small circle into the freckles on her cheekbone. Uzi finally decided it was time to speak up, reluctantly pulling away from Veronica with a sigh, rolling over to sit back up, before taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

"It wasn't really a fight. I just kind of snapped at him, cause.. It feels like he thinks he's the victim, sometimes." She started, wrapping her arms around herself. "He's always working, never at home to take care of me, and even when he is home he's always working from the table and ignoring me. I have to feed myself, most of the time. Anytime he does try and cook food, he always fucks it up somehow and expects me to eat it anyway. Then, on top of all that, he acts like I owe him all the respect in the world, just because he's my dad?" She asked, looking up at Veronica with saddened eyes before smiling at her, rolling her eyes. "Total bullshit. I just.. I don't know if he loves me, or if when he looks at me, he sees my late mom, and gets upset because I remind him too much of her, so he avoids me. Which, by itself, grieving for her would be fine, but.. I lost her too, and I don't think he realizes that. And now it feels like I'm losing him too, because he won't think about how I feel." Uzi explained, the torrent of words and emotions leaving her mouth as she shrunk in on herself. Veronica, noticing this, stood up and walked over to the bed, taking a seat gently next to her and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close for comfort, and Uzi looked up at her with appreciation before she looked back down and frowned. "How fucked up, huh? I turn thirteen, get diagnosed with a disease that ends up crippling me for life, I turn fifteen and lose my mom, and now that I'm nineteen, I'm only now realizing that I lost my dad too, because he decided to be a major prick with his coping mechanism. What a world we live in." She continued, further closing in on herself as she continued talking, her own arms wrapping around her abdomen tighter in an attempt to disappear. "..Was it my fault, somehow?" She asked, choking on a small sob, almost regretting it as soon as she said it when Veronica flinched at the question, before she gently but forcefully turned Uzi's head to look up at her. Uzi, confused, quirked an eyebrow at her, and Veronica hesitated, before rolling her eyes and pushing her own head down towards Uzi.

Finally, she kissed her.

She kissed her, and she kissed her back. Letting go of herself, Uzi brought her hands up to wrap around Veronica's neck, pulling her closer. Taking that as a positive reciprocation, Veronica brought her own arms to embrace Uzi's waist, hands grasping at her hips gently, giving the love handles on her sides a small squeeze, to which Uzi flinched for a second before melting even further into Veronica's grasp, her hands behind her neck intertwining their fingers, not wanting to let her go. This moment was everything for her, for them, a confirmation that she wasn't being pranked, or played with.

She was loved. Finally, she had found someone who actually loved her.

However, all good things ended eventually, and Uzi audibly whined when Veronica pulled away from her, letting go of her lips while still holding onto her waist. Letting out a small laugh at the noise the short girl had made, she brought up one of her hands to run through Uzi's hair, sifting through the strands, especially under her beanie, scratching gently at her scalp before she started talking.

"It was never, and never will be your fault, Uzi. Your mom, your dad acting how he is, none of will ever be reasonably pinned on you. It's just.. a series of unfortunate circumstances. Ones that you are very, very strong, and very brave to continue living with how you have so far. And personally, I couldn't be prouder to know that you're the girl that I fell in love with." She started, and Uzi rolled her eyes but flushed red even further at the final comment, watching Veronica's face with interest while she spoke. "Because you're you. No one can ever replace you, because you're that special. And if you aren't special to anyone else, you're special to me. And that's all that really matters, isn't it?" Veronica joked, smiling softly to herself when she pressed another small kiss to Uzi's forehead. "Because, again, I love you, Uzi. With all my heart. And your dad can eat my entire fist for lunch if he tries starting some more shit, how's that?" Squeezing her side again, she left off, pressing yet another small kiss to Uzi's head, rubbing small patterns into her scalp before bringing her hand back down to caress her cheek again, bringing her chin back up so she could meet her lips again, and Uzi predictably immediately succumbed to the advance, pushing herself closer to the larger lesbian who cupped the back of Uzi's head, pulling back quicker this time and pressing another small kiss to the tip of Uzi's nose. "You deserve so much more than that scumbag. I'll make sure you get it, promise." Veronica said, and Uzi swooned. Again. God, she was hopeless for this girl. Suddenly, she flinched at a dull pain in her hands, bringing them back and away from Veronica's neck to stare at them, before frowning up at her.

"..I may have forgotten to take my meds after I got home, and they're wearing off.. My hands and legs are gonna be really sensitive until I can get my hands on them, but.." Uzi started, looking down at her hands in silence. "..I can't go back home to get them. I don't want to see him right now. Dumbass," She continued, gently laughing at her own stupidity before, gently, bringing her hands back up to caress Veronica's neck again, who in response took a gentle hold of Uzi's wrists, pulling them away from her and smiling before she responded.

"Then I'll go get them. I remember where your house is, so I can make my way over there and grab them really quick and bring them back. In the meantime, I can get Noah to hang out with you for a bit while I'm gone, if he isn't asleep. That guy loves doing anything, I swear." Veronica said, not giving Uzi a chance to refuse her offer as she stood up and grabbed a jacket, not making the same mistake that she did this morning. She could still feel the cold pinprick against her skin as she put the jacket on and took a few steps back, winking back at Uzi as she walked out of the room, and Uzi smiled, upset at not having a say but appreciating the gesture Veronica was doing for her regardless. How couldn't she, when her tall and absolutely divine girlfriend, officially now, was doing her not only a favor, but one that would make her quality of living significantly better for the next twelve or so hours? She swooned again at the thought, before sighing once Noah had walked into the room, immediately lighting up when he saw Uzi again for the second time that night.

It was going to be a while before Veronica got back, wasn't it.

~♥️~

Veronica hesitated when she finally arrived at Uzi's house, stepping up to the door and sitting quietly. She had no idea what to expect, but from what Uzi had told her, her dad was a complete prick at worst, and a stupid prick at best. Either way, this was either going to be really easy or really hard, but it was going to be really annoying both ways. It didn't matter, because she was doing this for her girlfriend, her Uzi. If it was for her, she'd do anything, she knew that already. Sighing deeply, she brought up her hand and pushed the doorbell, hearing the shrill sound of it ringing throughout the inside of the house as she sat in the cold, only halfway regretting coming all the way out here. Too late for regrets though, because she heard the sound of rushed footsteps echoing on wooden floors as what she assumed was Uzi's dad basically sprinted towards the door, which swung open and revealed a heavily disheveled, balding middle-aged man wearing a nightcap. The most prominent feature she could see about him was the well-cared for mustache on his face, which put a knot in her stomach. How could someone care for their own facial hair better than their own child?

"Uzi-" The man started, cutting himself short as he got a good look at the girl standing outside his house, who crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him in response. "..You're not my daughter. Can I help you, miss? It's late, and I was sleeping pretty well just now before you arrived." He continued, scratching the back of his head with a shrug as he leaned against the doorway, pocketing his other hand. This was Uzi's dad? Veronica could visibly, and audibly, see why she didn't like the man. He said he was sleeping well, despite his daughter having yelled at him and running off to get away from him. His voice was deep, and it grated against her ears in a way that made her want to immediately knock his lights out, but she had the decency not to do that, at least not yet. Depends on how the rest of this conversation went, she guessed.

"I'm just here to grab something for Uzi," She started, and the man's eyes opened further at the mention of his daughter, but Veronica kept talking before he could say anything. "I'm Veronica, a.. friend of hers. She forgot to take her medicine earlier today, so I came to grab it for her. I'm hoping that's okay with you." Crossing her arms, she stared down at the man, trying her best to seem somewhat intimidating, in hopes it would make him listen rather than argue with her. it'd make this a hell of a lot easier. "She needs them, and while she didn't exactly ask me to come get them, I didn't exactly give her a chance to say no, so I can't just go back empty-handed now. Surely you understand?" Veronica asked, smiling in mock innocence. She wasn't afraid of this guy, and she had no reason to be. He was small, the best he could probably do was insult her, and she had been insulted before. She could handle a few mean words, especially if it meant she ended up being able to do this for Uzi. She just had to keep reminding herself that she wasn't doing this for herself, she was doing it for her, and she'd be fine. If he refused to let her have it, she'd take it. She would worry about the repercussions about that later, because Uzi's dad spoke up again, looking at Veronica with a soft sign of disbelief.

"..I see. Well, since you've introduced yourself, I'm Khan, Uzi's dad. And I'd prefer to talk to her," He said, shaking his head. "She's never been away from the house besides going to class before. I sincerely doubt that all of a sudden, she has a 'friend' that she would rather be spending time with than her own father." Khan continued, standing up straight even though he was at least half a foot shorter than Veronica. He aimed to keep talking, but Veronica was tired, it was cold, and she didn't want to deal with this asshole right now, so she cut him off.

"Too bad," She started, taking a step closer to the door, and Khan flinched before backing up. "Not only does she not want to talk to you, she doesn't even want to see your face right now. I'm sure you know why that is, so I'm not going to comment on it. But she needs her medicine, and I'm not going to ask nicely again. From what she's told me before, it's a codeine prescription, and she keeps it in one of her drawers. If you won't go grab it, at least let me in so I can grab it and take it to her. From what she's told me about you, that should be the least you owe that girl." Veronica continued speaking, taking another step towards the door, and Khan continued backing up, again feeling small at the sudden, more commanding presence. Slowly, to Veronica's delight, he nodded and walked away, leaving the door open, which she thought was a stupid move. She peered into the house, looking at the grossly disorganized dinner table that was off to the right of the door. Just past was what she assumed was their kitchen, with boxes and bags of groceries misplaced all over the counters, haphazardly scattered across the room. After a few minutes, Khan sheepishly walked back down the stairs to her left, approaching the door and rubbing the back of his neck as he held out a small bottle of pills, which Veronica grabbed from him, pushing it into her pocket. Looking down at him, he looked back, and she didn't bother to say anything, simply turning on the heel of her foot and walked back down the pavement, heading home back to Uzi. Khan simply watched her leave, the feeling of a hand gripping at his heart as he thought to himself, watching the tall girl leave him alone in silence. Closing the door and walking slowly back to his own room, a single thought ran through his mind, sending him into a depressing spiral.

He had lost his wife, years ago. He had lost his daughter, now.

And he could only blame himself for it.

~♥️~

"I'm surprised he gave them to you that easily," The short girl's voice came out softly, having taken her own meds as she cuddled with her taller lover, snuggled under the blanket of her bed, sharing the warmth gladly. "I mean, he's usually really confrontational when it comes to other people. I don't even see how he keeps his job with the way he acts sometimes." Uzi said, looking up at Veronica and smiling, pushing herself up to press a kiss to the underside of her chin. "Thank you, V. For going to get my meds.. for loving me for me. For everything, really. You have no idea how much it means to me, knowing you care so much." She said, shuddering when Veronica pulled down to press another kiss to Uzi's lips and silencing her, letting out another audible complaint when Veronica pulled away from her and left her wanting more.

"You don't have to thank me, you just have to keep being you. Can't be that hard now that I'm here, right?" Veronica said, nuzzling her face into the top of Uzi's head, who pushed into the contact as she pulled herself closer to her. "Whatever happens, I'll be here. That's something I can promise you." She left off, continuing to put small kisses onto Uzi's scalp, who giggled each time, reciprocating with her own kisses onto Veronica's collarbone. The two lovebirds shared the silence, whispering their sweet nothings, sharing small, chaste make-out sessions, letting the minutes waste away before they finally fell asleep in each other's arms, the silence of the night washing over them as they slept soundly, together.

Uzi fell asleep after Veronica did, not wanting to pass out without getting another good look at her face. This gorgeous girl, the girl she loved, loved her back. Despite how broken she might be, despite how much of a pain in the ass she definitely could be, despite everything, she loved her back. More than she could ever imagine, probably.

Uzi had Veronica all to herself. Call her greedy, but she liked that.

She could live with that.

~♥️~

Chapter Text

heyyyyyyyy guess who didn't die?

Chapter Text

you know what the issue is with sinning?

it stays with you.

because sins are never truly washed away.

no matter how hard you scrub at it,

the blood staining your hands doesn't fade.

genuine believers do not repeat a sin twice - being cleansed by grace is a one time deal.

those who sin repeatedly are not to be confused with them.

it's a good thing i haven't believed in much, isn't it?

stay tuned.