Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Silly lil goober sentinel was running around in the plains of cybertron when he came across this huge ugly green alien. He got jumpscared and went into a coma. When he woke up the alien was still there staring at him and deer were chewing on his kneecaps. The alien swatted the deer away and they flew into a cliffside. Then sentinel tried to punch the alien, but his pencil ahh arms barely made a dent. The alien pushed his fist down, pulled out a flower, and gave it to sentinel. Sentinel had never seen a flower before and thought it looked tasty, so he bit off a petal. Unfortunately, the flower was super poisonous to cybertronians and he started turning grey. The alien rushed him to his ship, where the medic pumped his stomach and removed the singular petal. Then the alien brought him back to the plains where he guarded sentinel from the deer who wanted to eat his kneecaps.

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“Wake up!!! I need to show you my stick collection!!!” Sentinel shouted joyfully as he grabbed and shook the High Commander from his slumber. This had been the third time this week that Sentinel had woken him up at 4am to see his “stick collection”. The High Commander wasn’t very happy about this, but seeing Sentinel’s happy blissful face, he conceded and went with him.

His “stick” collection wasn’t very impressive, as there were no actual trees on Cybertron, and consequently no sticks. The sticks were just rusty bars of metal that happened to look like sticks. High Commander just pretended to be impressed so he didn’t hurt Sentinel’s feelings. Maybe he would show him how to expand his collection, after he got more sleep.

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High Commander had made the rookie mistake of allowing Sentinel to share a room with him. Now he was sleeping on the cold dusty floor while his silly friend was lying down on the bed with his legs sprawled upwards on the bed post. High Commander clung onto the bedpost for dear life just in case he was pushed out of his own room next.

Next morning, Sentinel woke up to find High Commander sleeping on the floor. He decided that in order to prevent him from falling off the bed again he would get him a bigger one. Unfortunately, Sentinel spent all his allowance on skibidi toilet collectibles and didn’t have enough money for another bed frame. Sentinel decided to just remove the bed entirely and sleep on the floor.

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Sentinel had recently stumbled upon something called "lunchly with prime hydration", thick of it by KSI, and talk tuah. He thought it was very funny and decided to invite his bestie high commander for a watch party.

High commander had expected something very normal, but was shocked and horrified to see two lunchly boxes on the counter. Sentinel showed up out of nowhere and dragged high commander into a room.

Now high commander had never heard of any of these things, but he already didnt like this "talk tuah" podcast he was being forced to watch. In addition, the music playing at full volume on Sentinel's bluetooth speaker made him envy deaf people. At least the lunchly and prime were decent. "Hawk tuah! spit on that thing!!' sentinel said in the middle of the podcast.

Eventually, sentinel fell asleep, and high commander took this chance to escape. Unfortunately, he opened the door too loud and sentinel heard it. He dragged the poor alien back into the room where this time he was forced to watch digital circus content farms. Even having to sit next to Zeta Prime at the dinner table was better than this.

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saw an article about high commander being female, is this true??

i gotta make a new chapter soon 💀

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Sentinel finally decided to bring high commander to meet his family. It would be fun! High commander was reluctantly dragged to sentinel's house.

Zeta prime was sentinel's dad. Unfortunately, Zeta Prime was mean and racist. He made fun of high commander and called him a "beta with no rizz". high commander did not like Zeta Prime. The other primes were a bit nicer, especially Quintus. High commander noted that they looked eerily similar. Quintus kept insisting that he was high commanders "creator".

The time soon came for them to have dinner. High commander could not eat it since he wasnt cybertronian and couldnt digest energon. Zeta made fun of him and called him a "bread mold". Sentinel was very angry. When told that being attracted to high commander was just a phase he said "DAD, YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!" and he crode. High commander looked at him in confusion and said "hey sentinel i need to tell you something".

It turned out that high commander was actually female. Several hundred miles from the house, Shockwave started having an existential crisis. All the primes looked at high commander and said "Thats a woman??"

"ive been trying to tell you guys bruh" Quintus prime said, but no one heard him because hes the most unpopular prime.

Suddenly sentinel was sad because he thought high commander was guy and thought they were gay for each other. "you're still my stinky wife tho dont you forget it" high commander responded. Then sentinel cheered up because he could still retain his role of being high commander's stimky🤢 wife.