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[Cross-Over “Devoted in Life and Beyond” initialized. Cross-Over pending… pending... pending… Cross-Over complete! Time until return: 24h, 00s.]

Shen Qingqiu blinked slowly when he was woken up by a familiar text-to-speech voice reading the sudden message.

...A crossover? Like, when people merged multiple realms together as a wish fulfillment fantasy because they thought themselves so clever to have noticed similarities between characters from different stories? That sort of crossover? Or the one that was a mere opportunity for profit by the original creators, who thought combining the works would get more fans together to consume their trash?

He wasn’t in a book anyway, so how would any of that even make any sense?!

Shen Qingqiu sat up with a start. Which characters were even included in this crossover? What stories did they come from? He looked around the room. It was hard to make out in the dark but it seemed to look just as it had when they went to bed, no sign of any odd people suddenly having appeared out of nowhere. Shen Qingqiu frowned. He wouldn’t have to go search for these ominous people now, did he?

“...Shizun?” Luo Binghe asked quietly from below. “Is everything alright?” He made motions to sit up too.

“Shh.” Shen Qingqiu pushed him back down. “It’s nothing. This master only thought he saw something amiss. I was wrong. Go back to sleep, Binghe.”

“Hm.” His husband just hummed. “If Shizun is awake, then this disciple should begin preparing breakfast.”

“It’s far too early. There’s no need for that already.” Shen Qingqiu lied back down.

Luo Binghe only hummed again and snuggled closer. Shen Qingqiu let out a huff but stroked through his husband’s hair nonetheless.

He’d never been a fan of crossovers anyway. He was perfectly content in his own reality, no need to go search out some people he might not even know just to hear them blabber about their backstory and woes. Explaining their circumstances would only prove far too troublesome too. Shen Qingqiu much preferred his current position to all that work.

Also, he enjoyed giving the system a huge middle-finger for once!

----

Yue Qingyuan wasn’t exactly a man who put much of his faith into beings beyond his own realm, such as gods and ghosts. However, he was a man at the end of his rope and there wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t try for his Xiao Jiu.

Shen Yuan had confided only in him with his actual best-kept secret, though Yue Qingyuan wouldn’t be surprised to find out Luo Binghe was also aware. Yue Qingyuan was glad he was told the truth, was glad he didn’t live the rest of his life in a lie, only… there wasn’t a more painful truth Yue Qingyuan could have been told.

Not only had his Xiao Jiu been dead for over a decade, Yue Qingyuan hadn’t noticed.

As soon as Shen Yuan left, that realization had made his legs give out underneath him. He had been able to feel his gentle, poised mask wash away with every tear that had run down his face until his expression had contorted into one so full of pain, he’d been sure no one would have been able to recognize him anymore. He had thought Shen Qingqiu’s temporary death had hit him hard but this had been so, so much worse.

The next few days had been much slower than the ones before. Yue Qingyuan had experienced everything as though he was detached from it all, as though he was a mere spectator to his body. He’d had half the mind to visit Mu Qingfang but it wasn’t as though he hadn’t known the cause behind these feelings.

Seeing Shen Qingqiu for the first time afterwards had made him stop though. According to his current knowledge, Shen Yuan’s soul had switched between bodies three times. Shen Yuan had died too and reincarnated somewhere else. Luo Binghe had wanted to resurrect him, so revival was indeed possible in this world.

Finally feeling in control of his actions again, Yue Qingyuan had thrown himself into research. If there had been any guilt from neglecting his duties as a Sect Leader, Yue Qingyuan had been able to push it to the back of his mind very well. Numerous months had been spent finding out every possible tidbit of information about reincarnation, revival, the Holy Mausoleum and souls.

What he’d found out wasn’t much. There was indeed a powerful soul array within the mausoleum that could re-merge the soul to a body. Furthermore, for the array to work, one needed to either bring the original body or the soul. Yue Qingyuan had felt a sting when he’d realized that this meant that Shen Yuan’s soul had already been permanently linked to Shen Qingqiu’s body.

And this was why he was currently kneeling in prayer in front of a shrine. It was why he had been doing that for almost five years now.

He stood again, looking at the offerings he’d left one last time and then turned around. He blinked in surprise. Two men stood opposite him, too far apart from each other for them to have arrived together. He hadn’t noticed them arriving at all, which was strange, considering his cultivation level.

“Hello,” Yue Qingyuan greeted politely with a nod. Two pairs of eyes landed on him. Or. One and a half. One of the men hid his right eye under a dark eye patch.

The two looked quite different. One wore long white-blue robes, his black hair orderly and a ribbon was tied around his head. On his back, Yue Qingyuan could spot a guqin. The man had placed his hand on what looked like a sword beneath his outer robe. The other man, the one with the eye patch, was dressed in simpler, red clothes, decked in jewelry and silver chains. His dark hair was rather wild, compared to the other man at least. A scimitar hung on his waist.

The latter also now moved two of his fingers to his temple. His eyebrow pulled down into a frown.

“Where is this place?” he asked, eye boring into Yue Qingyuan’s. At the same time, the butterfly motifs on his silver vambraces began to move and suddenly broke free to gather around him. They had a fragile, luminescent appearance, though Yue Qingyuan could feel the murderous intent they emitted, imitating that of the man they originated from. His cultivation was extremely high, higher than any Yue Qingyuan had felt so far in his life. Even Tianlang-Jun and Luo Binghe didn't reach this level.

However, Yue Qingyuan wouldn’t be the Sect Leader of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect if he let himself be visibly intimidated so easily. Instead, he put on a practiced smile. “You’re currently a bit further north of Cang Qiong Mountain. May I ask what brought you here? Perhaps I can help.”

The eye-patched man’s eyes narrowed. “Cang Qiong Mountain…” The butterflies spread out and soon they were out of sight.

“What is Cang Qiong Mountain?” The man in white now spoke.

“You aren’t aware? It is home to the most renowned cultivation sect in the realms, Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.”

The man showed no reaction to that statement, neither recognition nor confusion. His light eyes just kept staring at Yue Qingyuan who showed no visible signs of discomfort either.

Suddenly, the man in red let out a chuckle. Yue Qingyuan’s eyes flicked towards him. “Cang Qiong Mountain… I must say, I’ve never heard of such a place either.”

“That is highly unusual. Do you belong to any sect yourself?”

The man shook his head. Then he took something out of his pocket and let it fall to the floor. Two dice. They rolled… nothing? They only continued to spin on the floor, not moving forwards or backwards at all but not deciding on a fixed number either. For a while, they all just stared at them. The man with the eye patch huffed and picked them up again.

“How interesting.” Then, after a pause, he took a few steps towards Yue Qingyuan until he stood before him. One hand of the Sect Leader moved towards the hilt of Xuan Su. “Not an easy feat. Was it you who brought me here?”

Yue Qingyuan tilted his head. “Brought… you here? I apologize but I don’t think I can follow.”

“Isn’t it obvious? I don’t belong in this world.”

Yue Qingyuan blinked and let go of his sword’s handle again.

“Neither do I,” the man in white said.

“You both come from another world?” Yue Qingyuan repeated, glancing back and forth between the two of them.

The man with the eye patch hummed. “Something, or someone, must have brought us here. Say, what have you been doing here just now?”

“I was praying,” Yue Qingyuan answered dutifully, seeing no reason not to, as the other man seemed to understand more of the current situation than him at least.

“Praying to whom?”

Yue Qingyuan shot a glance towards the shrine. “I’m… unsure.”

Yue Qingyuan did not know the god he had been praying towards. He did not particularly care to know either, too many that hadn’t responded. There wasn’t much he cared for at this point, other than finding a way to bring back his Xiao Jiu. If his martial siblings could see him this way, the way he acted when he wasn't miming the person they all needed him to be, they’d surely turn their back towards him. Yue Qingyuan wouldn’t be able to condemn them either. Their proud and powerful Sect Leader, reduced to someone like this because of a man no one had really liked. Most had hated.

The red-robed man only raised an eyebrow. It seemed like there was a tinge of amusement, though it felt very condescending. Whom it was directed to, Yue Qingyuan could not tell.

“What was it about, then?"

“I fail to see how this information relates to your case.”

“It does,” the man said. When Yue Qingyuan still gave no answer, he clicked his tongue. “There are a number of unknown variables to this situation as of now. I don’t know any of you and it seems like you each don’t either, but two of us have been mysteriously transported to the third, ripped out of our own worlds. The purpose or the perpetrator are unknown. While gods are no such all-powerful beings in my own world, there is no guarantee that yours wouldn’t be able to achieve such a thing. Therefore, I am asking what you were praying for, in case there is a connection to be made.” Then, because it seemed like he couldn’t help himself, his lips curled into a sneer. “You see? It isn’t all too baseless, is it?”

After some consideration, Yue Qingyuan dipped his head. What the man in red said seemed logical indeed.“First, I would like to know your names, however.” At the eye-patched man’s raised eyebrow, Yue Qingyuan replied, “It’s common courtesy. This one’s name is Yue Qingyuan.”

“My name is Lan Wangji.”

“Hua Cheng.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Yue Qingyuan said before taking a small, steadying breath. “As for my prayer, it was to… find someone.”

Hua Cheng’s eyes narrowed suddenly. “You are searching for someone?”

“Indeed.”

Hua Cheng hummed, “Someone close to you?”

“Yes.”

“A lover?”

Even Yue Qingyuan’s expression slipped at that question. “Excuse me?”

“I’m merely trying to find correlations. But it seems, I have hit the mark.”

“We… we weren’t lovers.”

“They’re deceased?”

Yue Qingyuan pressed his lips together at the reminder. “...Yes.”

“But you’ve been searching for them? Despite their death.”

“...I have.”

Hua Cheng’s expression softened a little and something changed in Lan Wangji’s as well. Nothing that Yue Qingyuan could point to, exactly, as the man seemed extraordinarily stoic, but it was something.

They stood in silence for some time. Then, Hua Cheng spoke up again.

“Is there any particular reason you’ve been praying to your gods to find this soul?”

“It’s my only hope. Souls aren’t easily trifled with, at least here they aren’t. To be reunited with the body, they need to first reenter the mortal realm again. There is but one Soul Recall Array and it can only be activated with the original body or the soul. There are… circumstances that prevent me from obtaining the body, so, naturally, I am searching for his soul now.”

Using his original body was no option, as Yue Qingyuan would die trying to force Shen Yuan out of his body, either by Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge’s hands. While he was relatively certain he could beat either of them in a fight, combined, they’d give him enough trouble that his own defeat was more likely. He did not particularly want to resort to such measures anyway. That wasn’t to say he wouldn’t, but it would take more than mere five years for him to consider such an option. In any case, dying would be his very last escape, when all others had failed. There was no guarantee he would find Xiao Jiu in death either, only that this would be irreversible to him.

“I take it, no luck until now?”

Yue Qingyuan shook his head.

“It’s always the same, isn’t it?” An amused smile played on Hua Cheng’s lips, though it seemed very cold at the edges. Yue Qingyuan did not know what to reply, so he said nothing.

"You are trying to revive someone?" When Lan Wangji said it, it sounded less like a question and more like a statement. Yue Qingyuan nodded.

"Why?"

"The way he died was unjust. His life had also been nothing but cruel to him. All I wish is to request a second chance."

Hua Cheng let out a laugh. "And why should he deserve a second chance? Such audacity. What makes you two so different from everybody else? Why should you get to reweave fate?" He didn't seem as serious about it as Lan Wangji, more light-hearted though there was an arrogant glint in his eyes.

Yue Qingyuan stared at him for a few moments, blinking slowly. Then, as he opened his heavy eyes, in a more tired tone than he had intended to use, he said, "I don't care about that."

Hua Cheng's eyebrow raised up and a slight frown appeared on Lan Wangji's face. Yue Qingyuan smiled a little. It was exhausting.

"That's really all there is to it. I don't care about audacity or fate. I made a promise and I failed to keep it once, twice, I'm not going to fail again. I will find his soul even if it will take my life."

The other two stared at him. Hua Cheng's smile softened a bit at the edges, the condescending touch fading a little.

"And what if he doesn't want you to find him?"

Yue Qingyuan shook his head. "It does not matter at this moment. I will have to ask him once I manage to find him. If he truly does hate me to this extent, I will heed to his wishes…" Although he honestly wasn’t sure what he would do afterwards if it came to that. The last time, the fight for Shen Qingqiu’s body had kept him going. This time…

Hua Cheng nodded.

"And if he wants you to?" Lan Wangji asked.

"Then, I’ll spend the rest of my life caring for him, of course. Whether he wants me by his side or not, it makes no difference, I will simply have to find a way. I won't make the same mistake another time."

Lan Wangji nodded.

Silence.

“I have a way to communicate with souls,” Lan Wangji suddenly said. Yue Qingyuan’s eyes fell to him again. “However, it would need to be within a certain radius.”

“You can?”

“What is his name?” Lan Wangji asked.

“...It’s Shen Jiu.”

Hua Cheng hummed. “Human souls aren’t exactly my area of expertise, I must say. Though, I might be able to find your person.”

Before Yue Qingyuan could ask any further question, Hua Cheng took out the two dice again. He threw them once more and, this time, they landed on a double six. Lucky. But Yue Qingyuan wasn’t able to dwell on the action, as suddenly, the floor gave way underneath them.

----

After a dizzying fall into nothing, they somehow stood on solid ground again. Yue Qingyuan’s face paled. It wasn’t because of any left-over illness from the abrupt transport. It was because he knew that large house surrounded by a mountain, a wide staircase leading up to it, the place where they had landed at.

“That’s… Qiong Ding Hall.” At the questioning look from Hua Cheng he answered, “We’re on Cang Qiong Mountain.”

Hua Cheng chuckled, “You both belong to that sect?”

Yue Qingyuan nodded.

“Of course you do.”

It was still far too early in the morning. The sun hadn’t even risen yet. No disciples were scattering around at this time and it was all so very quiet. It was a very familiar scene for Yue Qingyuan. Sleep was something he rarely indulged in nowadays. His nights could be used far better with wandering around searching for further clues or temples.

Lan Wangji suddenly took off his guqin and put it to the ground in front of him. He began strumming the strings to form a particular melody, one Yue Qingyuan wasn’t familiar with but nevertheless, it was calming. Simultaneously, something that looked like drops of water appeared out of nowhere. Yue Qingyuan looked towards Lan Wangji, who he guessed seemed very concentrated, and then towards Hua Cheng, who held a similarly clueless but nonetheless intrigued look on his face.

Shortly after, Lan Wangji switched from playing that melody to different notes before stopping entirely. The drops, which Yue Qingyuan assumed were souls, moved a little and made sounds too. Then, Lan Wangji resumed his playing. Such was the back and forth for a few minutes, as though they were talking. They probably were.

Finally, Lan Wangji put a hand on top of the seven strings to make them stop vibrating and then bowed to the souls before they disappeared.

“A soul named Shen Jiu is indeed on this peak,” Lan Wangji said, his gaze fixed to Yue Qingyuan. He was the very image of righteousness and honor. “He has only ever stayed at the house of the Sect Leader, though he did not die there.”

Yue Qingyuan’s breathing hitched. “The Sect Leader’s house…?”

“Mn. They also said he seemed…”

“Hm?"

“Annoying. Snappish. Impossible to talk to.”

Yue Qingyuan let out a shaky chuckle. “That’s him, then.”

“Then let’s go pay a visit to your home,” Hua Cheng took the initiative with an amused look in his eyes.

That man truly was very observant.

----

The walk to Yue Qingyuan’s house wasn’t long. On the way, none of them talked to each other but it wasn’t exactly an uncomfortable silence. In any other situation, perhaps Yue Qingyuan would have liked to ask about the worlds the other two came from, but like this, so close to the goal he’d been pursuing for five years, closer than ever before to seeing his Xiao Jiu again, there was nothing else he could pay any mind to.

When they arrived, Lan Wangji put down his guqin again and began playing right away. Soon after, the drops returned, less than had been at Qiong Ding Mountain but still a few. It was strange to see so many souls lingering at his house. How would they know which one was Shen Jiu’s?

A single drop came forward when Lan Wangji started playing these shorter melodies again. It answered with a small hum of its own. Yue Qingyuan’s breath hitched.

“Is that…”

“Mn.”

“...Can you please ask him whether he would like to be revived?” Yue Qingyuan asked.

Hua Cheng raised his eyebrow while Lan Wangji paused for a second.

"If he wishes to rest in peace, I could never force him not to."

With that explanation, Lan Wangji then began to play. The answer took a little longer, this time, yet it came.

“Yes.”

Yue Qingyuan’s hands trembled and he forced a little smile. Lan Wangji stared at him for a little while before turning to his guqin and playing yet another tune.

The answer returned, a little quicker than before. Lan Wangji nodded and stood up. At the same time, Yue Qingyuan quickly moved towards the soul of Shen Jiu.

He took out a pouch and swiftly caught the little drop within it. Bags with which one could house souls did not exist. What did exist was a demonic beast called a Soul Devouring Lion. He’d found mention of it in an extremely hard to find booklet written by a human who’d traversed the demon realm and jotted down information on the beasts and plants they’d seen and heard until their leave. Soul Devouring Lions lived in an extremely isolated area and the reason for that was, as their name very much suggested, the fact that once they started feeding on someone, they’d swallow their soul right with them. It was especially terrifying as these souls wouldn’t be able to escape and enter the cycle of the dead for as long as the Soul Devouring Lion lived.

Yue Qingyuan had personally gone to slay one of the beasts and crafted a bag out of its skin.

It was light, feeling as if it held nothing in it at all but Yue Qingyuan still carried it with the utmost care, willing his hands to stop shaking. This pouch contained his Xiao Jiu’s soul. The one he’s been relentlessly searching for the past five years.

Lan Wangji looked Yue Qingyuan in the eyes, having to lower his gaze a bit, bowing a little in what seemed like an apology before whacking him on the head.

Yue Qingyuan blinked.

“From him."

Yue Qingyuan blinked again. This time the world seemed a little blurry afterwards.

“A-ah… Thank you.”

It didn’t have as much force as what his Xiao Jiu would have likely hit him with but... this really was indisputable proof that this soul indeed belonged to Shen Jiu.

----

“How did you enter the Holy Mausoleum?”

When all he got from A-Yuan and his husband in response were two wide-eyed stares, Yue Qingyuan considered whether having Hua Cheng teleport them directly into their home had really been the best idea. Also, he perhaps shouldn’t have just asked this question right from the start… His heart clenched at the thought that his Xiao Jiu would have surely scolded him for his impulsivity again.

The married couple was sitting at the table in the middle of eating breakfast. This early in the morning? Well, Yue Qingyuan was glad they did because walking in on them sleeping, or even worse, catching them in any sort of intimate position, that would have been truly awkward. The thought calmed him down a little too.

“My apologies, Qingqiu-shidi, Your Excellency, but this is urgent.”

Shen Yuan’s eyes flicked towards the two men standing behind him and they took on a blue shimmer. So that System was behind their appearance as well? Well, A-Yuan had said that it was some sort of deity, so Yue Qingyuan supposed that this was very well possible.

“What does Zhangmen-shixiong need to enter the Holy Mausoleum for?”

“I need to revive-…” Yue Qingyuan’s gaze fell to Luo Binghe. He couldn’t be sure that Shen Yuan had told his husband that he wasn’t truly Shen Qingqiu. It was likely the half-demon had a hunch but a hunch wasn’t the same as outright knowing. “...someone.”

“Revive…” Shen Yuan’s eyes widened when he realized what exactly Yue Qingyuan meant. “Surely, you don’t-… is that what you’ve been…? For these past five years?”

It was odd to see the normally so collected Shen Qingqiu react like this. The way Luo Binghe’s eyes flickered between his husband and Yue Qingyuan told him that he thought so too.

“Indeed.” Yue Qingyuan nodded nonetheless. “I’ve finally found his soul, thanks to the generous help of these two. Now, I need to enter the Holy Mausoleum.” He turned towards Luo Binghe. “How did Your Excellency do it, despite not being the Emperor of the combined Demon Realm?”

“Yue-Zhangmen is acting quite impatiently,” Luo Binghe said leisurely, instead of answering his question. Then he looked at Shen Yuan. After glancing at Yue Qingyuan, the Peak Lord nodded hesitantly.

“Two-Hundred Black Moon Rhinoceros-Pythons.” Luo Binghe’s answer came right away.

A snort came from behind him at that answer. Without looking, Yue Qingyuan was certain that it had been Hua Cheng, as Lan Wangji had not audibly expressed his emotions so far. Or visibly.

“Black Moon Rhinoceros-Pythons?" Hua Cheng asked with an amused tone, leaving no doubt at the source of the laughter anymore.

“They’re large, dark creatures, with a singular horn the shape of a crescent moon. Their cries are terrifying, a mix between a roar and the hiss of a snake. Even most creatures in the Endless Abyss are scared of its wrath,” Shen Yuan immediately supplied the necessary information.

“And how did Your Excellency break into the Holy Mausoleum with them?”

Luo Binghe looked at him blankly. “I made them crash into its walls until the array gave up for a moment,” he said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

“Two hundred of them?”

“Yes. For Shizun, I would have gladly gathered more.”

Yue Qingyuan nodded. This was a doable thing. But just as he opened his mouth to ask Shen Yuan about the creatures’ whereabouts, he was already interrupted by him.

“Gathering those Rhinos without demonic energy would take too long. The two behind you don’t have that much time anymore.”

In a flash, as if of the same mind, Lan Wangji and Hua Cheng stepped forward. In almost the same moment, Luo Binghe also stood up.

“Oh?”

Luo Binghe’s eyes narrowed and a red gleam appeared in them. At that, Lan Wangji placed a hand on his sword, his eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly. Hua Cheng’s lips curled up to a condescending smile, but not the one he had been wearing before. It was, frankly, terrifying. It didn’t quite seem human. Yue Qingyuan was not afraid of demons, most of them were no match for him, but there was something about Hua Cheng. Whether he was a demon or not, he was certainly extremely dangerous. Though, it didn’t matter to Yue Qingyuan at the moment, as long as he continued to help him.

“Whether you stand up to defend him makes no difference to me. I will harm neither him nor you, as long as he tells me exactly what he knows about our situation and how to reverse it.”

Luo Binghe’s glare intensified at these words and demonic energy started to well up around him. Hua Cheng only quirked an eyebrow. He did seem awfully confident that he could beat Luo Binghe and Yue Qingyuan honestly trusted that this confidence wasn’t misplaced.

Shen Qingqiu stood as well now and placed a hand on Luo Binghe’s shoulder. “This master is amenable to that.”

Luo Binghe didn’t budge though.

“I have no qualms about killing you.” Hua Cheng almost seemed bored in the way he talked to Luo Binghe.

“Neither do I.”

“I have no interest in it either, however.” Hua Cheng’s stare turned cold. “All I care about is getting back to my own world. I have someone waiting there for me and every second longer that I’m gone is making me grow more and more impatient.”

The temperature around them dropped in accordance with Hua Cheng’s gaze. The scimitar on his waist suddenly opened its eye. Yue Qingyuan’s eyebrows raised at that. The scimitar possessed an eye? It was red and it also had its glare fixed on Luo Binghe. Shen Qingqiu also watched this development with a twitching eyebrow.

“Binghe,” he scolded.

“But Shizun-”

“No. This master does indeed know something. It would not be right to leave them in the dark.”

"So, what do you know?" Hua Cheng asked before anyone else could get a word in.

Shen Qingqiu nodded. "I am not sure about the reason for you crossing over into our world myself, likely shared traits with certain people that live here, yet I can tell you that you'll leave on your own once your time is up."

"How long will that be?" Hua Cheng tensed, as if preparing himself for an uncomfortable answer.

"A little less than a day."

His eyebrow raised a little but the tension did not leave otherwise. "And how are you so certain of this?"

"I am... in contact with the deity that brought you here. This one has been briefly informed of your arrival and the time of your departure but that was all."

Hua Cheng hummed. "So there is no hidden condition we will have to fulfill?"

"Not that I'm aware of, no."

Hua Cheng stepped back then. With a polite bow, Lan Wangji did the same. The tension bled from Shen Yuan's shoulders as well and he sat again, pressing Luo Binghe down with him, who still didn’t stop shooting cold glares at Hua Cheng.

Shen Yuan cleared his throat. "As this master said, if Zhangmen-shixiong does go to hunt down the Rhinoceros-Pythons, these two will not be there to witness it."

"Mmh. I wouldn’t want to take too long anyway. It’s alright, though. I should be able to create a rift in it myself, as long as the broken array can be kept in place long enough for me to slip through."

"That should be no problem," Hua Cheng said and Yue Qingyuan nodded, trusting these words. Unlike Lan Wangji, Hua Cheng did not generally seem like a very trustworthy man, yet regarding his strength, Yue Qingyuan had seen a glimpse of the large amount of spiritual power he seemed to possess. There was no reason to doubt anything the man said he could do.

"Wait. Do you even have a body to place his soul into? You can't-" 'use this body, anymore' went unsaid but Yue Qingyuan understood anyway.

"The Soul Array works with either the original body or the soul. With the help of Lan-daozhang, I've obtained his soul."

"But isn't there still need for a body for the soul to inhabit?"

Yue Qingyuan smiled. "That should also already be taken care of."

-----

"Z-Zhangmen-shixiong, what a surprise! What is Zhangmen-shixiong doing at this shidi's abode so early?"

"Shang-shidi, the time has come."

"Time? What ti-... oh."

At the beginning of his search, five years prior, Yue Qingyuan had come to Shang Qinghua for help. He, too, had wondered where to obtain a body for his Xiao Jiu's soul from. Countless books later and he still hadn’t been any wiser, until he had remembered Shen Yuan's temporary death and his escape into a sort of plant body. If Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua had managed such a feat, Yue Qingyuan had seen no reason why he couldn't achieve the same, especially since it was for his Xiao Jiu.

"So, you've been growing a body from the Sun and Moon Dew Lotus Seed all this time? With him?" Shen Yuan asked incredulously, voice echoing a little in that now so familiar cave on Qiong Ding Mountain they stood in, looking at the soil under which the seed had been buried years ago.

"Shang-shidi has the most experience with the plant and I didn't mean to trouble Qingqiu-shidi with such a thing," Yue Qingyuan replied easily, glossing over the fact that visiting Shen Yuan so early after those devastating news would not have resulted in anything good.

"‘Sun and Moon Dew Lotus Seed’…” An amused smile grew on Hua Cheng’s face. “A plant that can grow the shell of a body. This world truly has such interesting flora and fauna.”

Shang Qinghua's face lit up hearing this but he didn't say anything. Yue Qingyuan had long stopped wondering about the An Ding Peak's Peak Lord's oddities. It didn't get much stranger than Shen Yuan's situation and if it did, Yue Qingyuan really didn't care enough to know. It obviously wasn't more of an issue than the Peak Lord's treasonous alliance with the Demon Realm's factions that had threatened to destroy their sect in the past, and Yue Qingyuan had forgiven that as well.

“Then, what is all this?” Shen Yuan gestured to the right.

A desk stood at the stone wall, looking very much out of place in this otherwise uninhabited cave. The table itself didn’t hold much, a few blank sheets of paper, a brush and an inkstone. Instead, the wall and ground around it were covered with talisman paper, fully written-on sheets and maps. One large map of the human realm was pinned to the wall the desk stood at, different locations marked all throughout the realm. Next to it was another, smaller one depicting the demon realm with similar markings across it. A pile of books had accumulated next to the desk.

"It’s research. On that note, Qingqiu-shidi, there is something else I need to ask of you. In private, if you could."

He watched Shen Yuan glance towards Luo Binghe who did not seem happy with that idea at all. Still, Shen Yuan turned back to him and nodded, ignoring his husband's small noise of loss.

"Behave, Binghe," was the only response he gave, before following Yue Qingyuan to a more secluded space of the cave they'd gathered in.

"Qingqiu-shidi, I have a favor to ask of you," Yue Qingyuan confessed before Shen Yuan could say another word.

"...What is it?"

"Could I please ask you to stay here and watch over him, once he arrives? Only until I get back, of course."

"How will Zhangmen-shixiong even merge the plant body with his soul?" Shen Yuan asked instead of answering.

Yue Qingyuan sighed. "I have constructed a talisman which is connected to an array drawn around this cave. Once the soul is ready to be reconnected to this realm, the talisman will activate and pull it to this cave where he will be transported into the Seed's body."

He took out both the talisman and the bag which carried his Xiao Jiu’s soul to show Shen Yuan. The other man’s eyes narrowed.

“I’ve never heard of an item that could trap a soul within it. What is this bag made out of?”

“The skin of a Soul Devouring Lion. It was the most likely option to work.”

“A Soul Devouring Lion?!” Shen Yuan sputtered a little too loudly. Yue Qingyuan could see the others glancing over.

“Yes.” Yue Qingyuan met Shen Yuan’s wide eyes, not even surprised that the other man would know about this rare creature already.

Shen Yuan stared at him, then glanced back at the disorganized workspace before staring back at him. "...You really planned this through, hm? Well... what else did I expect?"

Yue Qingyuan gave him a half-hearted smile at that rhetorical question. He did not have the energy for his usual mask of pleasantry anymore and Shen Yuan seemed to know more than enough about Yue Qingyuan’s relationship to his Xiao Jiu anyway.

"I neither trust Shang-shidi nor your husband with my Xiao Jiu. It's why I'm asking you to watch over him, until I get back."

Shen Yuan looked at him with a slight frown.

"Please. A-Yuan." Yue Qingyuan only whispered the last part.

Something shifted on Shen Yuan's face. Yue Qingyuan had watched him closely those six years before he’d found out the truth about the current Shen Qingqiu, so he could clearly recognize that Shen Yuan had made up his mind.

"Alright. I will. Until Zhangmen-shixiong gets back."

Yue Qingyuan's smile widened into a genuine one. "Thank you, shidi."

As much as seeing Shen Yuan reminded him of Shen Jiu, Yue Qingyuan couldn’t deny that he couldn’t help liking the new Shen Qingqiu. He didn’t prefer him over his Xiao Jiu, heavens no, but he cared about what happened to him. He was similar enough to Shen Jiu, in his own way, and he didn’t seem to condemn the original Shen Qingqiu either. Yue Qingyuan hoped that, perhaps, once his Xiao Jiu was back in this world, he could build a friendship with Shen Yuan, one not tainted by misunderstandings and false identities.

Shen Yuan only shook his head but it merely seemed tired and a little sad. Just when Yue Qingyuan wanted to return to Hua Cheng and Lan Wangji, to ask Hua Cheng whether they could teleport to the Holy Mausoleum, Shen Yuan stopped him once more.

"Does Zhangmen-shixiong even know how to get to this Soul Array?"

"..."

Yue Qingyuan found that he, indeed, had forgotten about this detail. Shen Yuan sighed, disappointment evident, and Yue Qingyuan's heart ached at the familiarity of it.

"This master believes he is able to recite it from memory, just, it might be a little difficult to retain. The array is at the heart of the Holy Mausoleum and it’s very large."

"That should be no problem either. Recount the way, I'll remember it," Hua Cheng, who had before been in a conversation with Shang Qinghua of all people, now said with a bored undertone.

"...If that is the case," Shen Yuan said hesitantly. Then, he described the entire way, including special circumstances and traps, sometimes in a little more detail than was necessary. Yue Qingyuan guessed that this extensive knowledge was connected to the same reason that Shen Yuan had come to possess Shen Jiu's body. Or the System had told him. Because, in all of his years of research, Yue Qingyuan had never managed to find even close to so much intel on the workings of the Holy Mausoleum.

He was lucky Hua Cheng was with him though. By himself, he would have had to write down the directions. Yue Qingyuan's memory was above average, but the amount of different tombs and paths one had to take to arrive at the Soul Array even surpassed his limit. Hua Cheng didn't seem all too perturbed, if a little incredulous at the sheer amount as well.

----

With another toss of Hua Cheng's dice, two sixes again, they arrived at the Holy Mausoleum. Yue Qingyuan didn't give much thought to his surroundings. He saw the wall of the building which contained the Soul Array and immediately put his hand around Xuan Su's black hilt.

"This is a powerful array," Lan Wangji remarked and Yue Qingyuan stopped. These two were the reason he achieved what he hadn't been able to these past five years in less than a shichen. It would be incredibly rude to simply disappear inside the Mausoleum right away. "What happens when you enter it?"

"As far as the scriptures tell, anyone who doesn’t qualify for the position of the ruler over the combined demonic realm would die immediately."

"Makes one wonder how you plan on breaking into it on your own," Hua Cheng commented with a lazy grin, "That kid was a bit overenthusiastic but from the description of those Black Moon Rhinoceros-Pythons," the grin got wider, "you'd need quite a lot of force to even form a tiny crack, let alone a rift large enough to fit you."

Yue Qingyuan ignored how Hua Cheng just called Luo Binghe a kid in such a manner and smiled a little. "I know. I will manage."

He made a motion to unsheathe Xuan Su, just a bit. At the large amount of spiritual energy it already emitted, Hua Cheng lifted his eyebrow while Lan Wangji's eyes grew a little wider.

"Xuan Su is tied to my life force. It should be enough for a short moment," he explained briefly before pulling his sword at once.

The blinding light shining from Xuan Su always made people avert their eyes. Outside of Yue Qingyuan of course, which would give him an advantage in battle, if he ever drew the sword for it. With a quick, fluid motion, he immediately cut into the wall before him. A short moment later, part of the rock exploded from the force and Yue Qingyuan could feel that the array had opened as well, enough for him to fit through.

Before he could move further, around twenty small butterflies had already gathered around it, likely to keep it in place. The hole in the array actually didn't close up immediately, Yue Qingyuan knew he had no reason to doubt Hua Cheng's capabilities, but the wall he'd destroyed was quickly rebuilding itself again. Re-sheathing Xuan Su, Yue Qingyuan did not even take the time to look back at Lan Wangji and Hua Cheng before jumping through the quickly closing hole.

-----

He immediately stumbled against a wall, head first, and fell to the floor. A few, dizzying moments later, he slowly got up again, checking whether the bag with his Xiao Jiu’s soul and the talisman to direct his soul to his body were still on his person.

After making sure they were, he looked around. He’d broken into a small corridor. There was no light source left or right but thanks to his cultivation, his eyes were quick to adapt to the dark. Both paths seemed endless and equal in their potential to lead him to his destination, as they looked exactly the same. Yue Qingyuan sighed. Now that Hua Cheng wasn’t with him, he really would have to walk around practically blindly. Perhaps, the lack of rest these past five years really had caught up to him, for him to put such little thought into his actions lately. Or it was the restlessness in his mind from being so close to seeing his Xiao Jiu again. Or a mix of both.

Probably a mix of both.

“I assume not every spiritual sword here contains such amounts of spiritual energy in it,” Hua Cheng’s intrigued voice suddenly came from behind him.

Yue Qingyuan whirled around. What he saw wasn’t the man in red, however, but one of his silvery butterflies.

“Hua Cheng?” Was part of Hua Cheng’s soul inside these butterflies? How else could they be talking at this very moment?

 “While this array wouldn’t be able to kill me, I have no intentions of going through the effort of obtaining a physical body yet another time. I’m merely able to record and play my voice through the butterflies. I can also hear and see everything, so don’t worry about finding the way.”

A wave of relief overcame the sect leader. “Is Lan Wangji there as well?”

“Mhm.”

There was a short moment of silence, before the butterfly started to fly down the path on Yue Qingyuan’s left.

“Even though you’re not exactly where that guy told us to start, we should be able to find that Soul Array within a day. Just follow the butterfly, it’ll lead you.”

Yue Qingyuan nodded gratefully and started walking alongside the shimmering insect. After a few steps, however, his legs almost gave out and he had to support himself on the wall. Only now did he properly realize the painful thrumming that ran throughout his entire body. Unsheathing Xuan Su at once really hadn’t been the smartest move, there was a reason he usually only did so bit by bit. He took a deep breath before continuing to walk further, speed not decreasing despite the shocks that went through his body after every step.

“Pulling that sword really did a number on you, huh?” Hua Cheng’s voice said conversationally. “Tied to your life force. I assume, that isn’t a usual occurrence in your world either?”

“...It’s not.” Yue Qingyuan answered slowly. After a few moments of silence, he thought to elaborate, “...I made a promise, long ago, when we were children, to return after I’d advanced far enough in my cultivation. But I…”

Yue Qingyuan swallowed. Just like before, back when Shen Jiu had asked the first time, the words would not leave his mouth. His throat had closed up, even breaths barely making it past, and a low dread coiled in his stomach. A faint shadow of the past, nothing in comparison to what he’d felt back then. With much effort, he managed to swallow, doing his best to push these memories from his mind.

“… I couldn’t keep my promise in the end.”

This time the silence dragged on for longer. Yue Qingyuan quietly continued to follow the butterfly as it turned right. Out of nowhere, a dark green light appeared further down the tunnel. The longer he walked, the more lights came into view and Yue Qingyuan eventually realized that they were candles. They didn’t illuminate the path much, the glow too dull to brighten the dark significantly, but it was recognizable as a source of light.

“Last Breath Candles,” Hua Cheng remarked. “That guy told me they light up whenever a living person comes near them. You should hurry up before they attract the Blind Corpses.”

Usually such low-level demons wouldn’t pose much of a threat to Yue Qingyuan. They didn’t now either, even with Yue Qingyuan having to be mindful of using too much spiritual energy if he didn’t want for another Qi Deviation or, well, death. At least as long as their numbers didn’t grow too large. He would have to take care of them beforehand.

His steps fastened and it wasn’t long before he could hear the faint, dragging steps unique to corpse demons. Not wanting an encounter with them too soon, Yue Qingyuan quickly followed the butterfly into a larger room on the right side.

The room wasn’t illuminated by the Last Breath Candles like the corridors. Instead, there was a large yellow blob in the middle, slowly rising and sinking. The tomb was otherwise filled with only a few coffins but a large amount of colorful boxes and painted vases on shelves that reached high up until the ceiling, likely filled to the brim with all sorts of valuables. Yue Qingyuan’s eyes, though, were focused on the butterfly that was steadily making its way across the room, choosing to stay to the right of the blob. With quick steps, he went to follow it.

However, as he had crossed about half of the hall, Yue Qingyuan instinctively side-stepped something orange and pulsating shooting at him from his left. The attack caused a minor explosion behind him. Yue Qingyuan’s head shot around to the yellow blob.

Well, it didn’t look very yellow anymore. Instead, it had taken on a mix of red and orange, the colors quickly whirling around in its body. It also wasn’t exactly a formless blob anymore, the wobbly mass having formed two round legs and an arm, made up of countless smaller balls shifting around restlessly. It didn’t exactly look stable, rather like it would fall in on itself any moment in fact, but while hurling attacks towards Yue Qingyuan, it seemed surprisingly sturdy.

“According to that guy, that thing is called an-” and Yue Qingyuan could hear the smirk in Hua Cheng’s voice, “All-Devouring One-Armed Magma Man.”

“…” Yue Qingyuan dodged another three flame balls flying his way.

...That name did sound a little uninspired. Apart from having three limbs, it didn’t even look very humanoid. Rather like a large rock, just with a strange liquid constitution. How it was held in place, Yue Qingyuan had no idea.

“I wouldn’t recommend running from it in your state, its light would attract those Blind Corpses in the corridors. To defeat it, you either wait out until it’s used all the flame balls on its arm and legs or you-”

Before Hua Cheng could finish talking, the pain coursing through Yue Qingyuan seemed to think it was a good time to act up and he stumbled over his own feet. Forcefully ripping off bits of his life force really did come at a price, especially when done as quickly as he had. One of the fireballs headed his way actually hit him and clung onto his robes.

“...Alright, no use in waiting it out now. You won’t be able to get rid of that thing on your clothes until it’s devoured you whole, hence the name. There’s a small yellow spot on its top. If you pierce through that, the All-Devouring One-Armed Magma Man should be defeated, according to that guy.”

Yue Qingyuan looked down on that little fireball and indeed, as if it had grown sharp teeth, it bit itself through his clothes, the flames licking on for more. His gaze fell on his surroundings. In his usual state, jumping up onto the monster would have been no problem, however, he didn’t trust his legs enough for a clean jump. While the coffins, chests and various trinkets around him had all caught on fire, none of them seemed to deteriorate in the process. It did make sense, having a fire monster guard one’s belongings, it would be foolish not to ensure they were fireproof.

Picking one of the coffins that had only started to burn after the last attack, the flames only having reached the lowest part, Yue Qingyuan took a run-on and jumped onto it. Using the momentum of that jump, he pushed himself off to land on a shelf, next to a green box, high enough to stand a little above the creature now. The chest was burning, the shelf underneath him too but Yue Qingyuan paid neither of it any mind as he’d already leapt off of it again, this time to jump directly towards the monster. Indeed, there was a yellow spot, situated towards his right. It bulged a little out of the rest of the blob body, almost like a head, actually making it seem a little more humanoid. Yue Qingyuan pulled out his sword along with its scabbard and stabbed the spot, just as Hua Cheng had said.

The force of the explosion afterwards catapulted Yue Qingyuan away from the Magma Man again, which was for the best, since, it really did fall in on itself after Yue Qingyuan had pierced its weak spot. Thanks to his martial training, even with limited spiritual powers, he did not get any injuries from the fall. The All-Devouring One-Armed Magma Man returned to being a blob in the middle of the tomb again, only that its yellow color was far paler now.

Yue Qingyuan’s outer layers were practically turned to ashes, parts of his robes even completely burned through on his upper body and arms, leaving blistering wounds underneath. His feet had been singed with first-degree burns as his shoes got incinerated while standing on that blazing shelf. He was lucky they hadn’t ended up like parts of his arm had.

The butterfly moved forward silently. Yue Qingyuan followed it with stiff steps, without looking back again.

-----

The time that he spent making his way through the many corridors and tombs felt far longer than a day but Yue Qingyuan’s grasp on time was likely impacted by the maze-like paths of the mausoleum, since the silvery butterfly never disappeared. Walking along the paths with nothing filling his senses but the dim green of the candles, his own unevenly coming breath and the constant faint footsteps of the Blind Corpses that Yue Qingyuan had run into twice but managed to subdue without any major injuries, anyone would have lost track of time. His singed hair and skin left a repugnant smell wafting around him and it was near impossible to ignore the searing heat radiating off of his burns.

Oftentimes, he had to cross tombs of demonic clans to continue on his path. Yue Qingyuan welcomed and dreaded them at the same time. They made for nice distractions from his own nervous running thoughts but they were also increasingly difficult to cross quickly, as his injuries only multiplied with time.

Hua Cheng, for his part, seemed to be very amused by them.

“In here we have a Jaded Hippo Corpse,” he said with an audible smile while Yue Qingyuan had to evade his arm being snapped in two by broken-off, green teeth in a large moldy mouth.

“That’s a Vengeful Charmer Scorpion.” His lazy remark came while Yue Qingyuan dodged a black-pink sting. “Careful, according to that guy, it’s filled with a heavy aphrodisiac and once it hits you, you’ll be in for a painful few days.”

“Those trees are White-Eyed Butcher Willows. Best not to look at those white eyes though, it agitates them. Emphasis on the ‘Butcher’ part here.”

But despite the condescending tone he used, Hua Cheng still guided him through the Mausoleum’s tombs.

“After this tomb, it’s only a set of three halls. Afterwards, you’re as good as there,” Hua Cheng said while Yue Qingyuan brushed off the white fluff, Qingsi, he’d read about in an ancient scroll. “It belongs to a musical clan that lived in the east of the demonic realm, near some springs. According to that guy, you should get through this room as qui-…”

Suddenly a melody started playing. Yue Qingyuan would have liked to say that he was wholly unfamiliar with it but that would have been a lie. Hua Cheng’s voice, as well as his surroundings, washed away with the sounds of a guqin. They engulfed Yue Qingyuan, practically tying him up and enveloping him whole, bringing back a memory from long, long ago.

It was of Shen Qingqiu. Not Shen Yuan but instead his Xiao Jiu, around thirty years ago. It was from a time when they were all still head disciples, not too long before they’d become Peak Lords themselves. Yue Qingyuan’s position had required him to visit Qing Jing Peak, to discuss matters with the former Peak Lord. On his way to the bamboo house, however, he had heard the sounds of a guqin. It wasn’t anything extraordinary, Qing Jing was the peak of scholars and playing the guqin one of the Four Arts after all, but something about that melody had entranced him.

While the melody was played lightly, the tones itself were heavy, laden with a deep feeling, akin to yearning. It wasn’t calm, yet it wasn’t hectic either, the sounds tumbling over another but not to the point of disharmony. Little high notes made their way into the composition, trickling, first slowly, then quicker, impatient until they took over, until nothing was left but a continuous high-pitched noise. Once that subsided, the deep sounds returned, a constant rumbling, while higher tunes were played simultaneously, as if to cover up the first. The higher notes made up an elegant melody, like the ones one would usually hear on Qing Jing Peak but the lower ones alternated between loud and thrumming, and low and careful, irascible and almost vulnerable.

Only when the melody had ended, had Yue Qingyuan noticed that he’d held his breath the entire time. His feet had brought him to the origin of the sounds and he’d spent the minutes staring at the back of Qing Jing’s head disciple, Shen Qingqiu. His heart had been pounding so fast. He’d found himself in that melody somewhere but he knew it hadn’t been made with him in mind.

In his memory, Shen Jiu’s head snapped around and suddenly, Yue Qingyuan could see the man before him, in the tomb, standing a few meters from him on a small island surrounded by water. He wore that same Qing Jing Peak uniform as he had back then but his expression was different.

“Qi-ge!”

Yue Qingyuan froze. A sudden urge made him want to curl in on himself but he couldn’t bring himself to move. Wide eyes stared at the man before him, unblinking.

An almost silent whisper left his lips. “Xiao Jiu…?”

“Qi-ge, are your feet stuck to the ground? Get over here before I change my mind.”

Yue Qingyuan took a step forward and Shen Jiu smiled.

Yue Qingyuan took another step and another until he stood at the edge of the water.

Shen Jiu smiled.

“Come over, what are you waiting for? You promised to come back to get me, Qi-ge.”

Shen Jiu smiled.

Yue Qingyuan swallowed and dipped one foot into the water.

Shen Jiu’s smile widened.

Yue Qingyuan stopped.

Then, he retracted that foot and dipped the other into the cool wet as well. It was soothing to the burns on his soles.

Shen Jiu’s smile faded. Now, Yue Qingyuan mirrored that expression from before.

“My Xiao Jiu would never smile at me like that. Not after what I did.”

The fake Shen Jiu twisted his face into a, far more in character, scowl. “You’re right. You don’t deserve it. I needed you and what did you do? You left me. You abandoned me when I needed you most, you broke our promise. You are scum, utter scum.”

Yue Qingyuan’s smile did not fade. “I know.”

“Yue Qingyuan.” He spat out every syllable. His hair grew out a little and his clothes changed until he stood before Yue Qingyuan as the Qing Jing Peak Lord, Shen Qingqiu. “You should have died that day. I would have been better off if you’d just died! Your loyalty means shit! Your promise means shit! I would rather stay dead than have you, of all people, resurrect me!”

Yue Qingyuan’s smile did not let up. He walked past the sputtering image of Shen Jiu, until the other side of the tomb. Only when the hysterical yells of the fake Shen Jiu were no more did he stop walking.

The butterfly entered his vision again, silently offering to guide his way once more. Yue Qingyuan’s smile fell and he took a step forwards to continue walking. His legs, however, suddenly started trembling and he buckled under the weight of the situation just now. Sliding down against the wall, he tried to steady himself, to get himself to move forward again but he just couldn’t control his limbs anymore. They were shaking, no strength left in him to bring them back under his control. A silvery light settled down in front of him and it took Yue Qingyuan a while to realize that it wasn’t because the butterfly was about to vanish that it had become so blurry.

A guqin played a melody again but this one came from in front of him. Lan Wangji was the one playing, then. It was a calm tune, like a smooth lake surface under a clear sky. It soothed his mind until the tremors of his body subsided. Until his breaths slowed down and came out more evenly, only hitching from time to time. Until the last tear had slid down his cheek and the salt had begun to crust. Only then did the melody stop.

Yue Qingyuan wanted to thank them, both of them, but all that came out of his mouth was a croaked, “Why are you helping me?” Neither replied. “You’ve heard him. Even though he wasn’t my Xiao Jiu, he was right. I am scum, I did break my promise. Neither of you have any obligation to help this selfish wish of mine.”

“My husband also died,” Lan Wangji’s voice suddenly came. “Many years ago. I never got to tell him. I never got to treat him right. But he came back and I swore to never leave his side again. Now we are married and he is happy. I am happy.”

Hua Cheng hummed. “I truly was right to assume that there was a reason we were sent to you specifically. You also remind me of myself. I understand it very well, making one person my entire life’s purpose. I’ve spent centuries trying to find my person again. One word and I would gladly die a thousand times over for him. I could tell you’re the same.”

Yue Qingyuan nodded a little. “He… Most people despised him when he was alive. But I never did, I could have never. He was everything to me. He still is. It was alright that he didn’t like me, he had every right to hate me. I never minded, so long as he could find happiness. So long as he was alive. But… I couldn’t even guarantee that.“

“Mn.” Lan Wangji’s noise made him feel like he understood.

“I’ve also searched for my husband. Centuries of following every small sign, I’d say I’ve gotten quite good at holding onto the tiniest clues. But it also made me understand that living without your special person is an especially cruel fate. You and I, and I assume that Lan Wangji guy too, we share a devotion that goes beyond death, if in different ways. I wanted to alleviate the pain of the path I’ve gone before for you, simple as that.”

“Ah...”

Slowly, Yue Qingyuan got up again. Talking about it, about Shen Jiu, about everything, just a little, it made his heart a little lighter.

“That thing in there just now, that was a Sweetest Nightmare Siren.” Despite the situation just now, Hua Cheng did not seem to be able to prevent the ridiculing undertone slipping into his voice at the name. “It lures you in with its sound, scanning your memories, before either drawing you in with what makes you happiest or tormenting you with your worst nightmare, depending on what’ll get you to submit the quickest. Either way, the end goal is to feed.”

His sweetest dream. His worst nightmare. Both had been his Xiao Jiu and if that wasn’t the truth, Yue Qingyuan didn’t know what was. He let out a breathy laugh, before continuing to follow the butterfly.

-----

The three halls of Sorrow, Fury and Delight were crossed with ease. He didn’t even need Hua Cheng’s guidance, as these halls were actually described in the few books that mentioned the Holy Mausoleum. The first had still been a pain, due to the rain that dropped from above but Yue Qingyuan had made it through the hall fast enough that none of it managed to hit any of the various injuries he’d managed to acquire within all those different tombs. The second had been no problem whatsoever, as stepping onto the acupuncture points of the mural of the woman wasn’t anything problematic, though Yue Qingyuan supposed it would have been if he hadn’t known how to avoid triggering the trap. The last hall was the least difficult, as its trap was meant for demons alone and Yue Qingyuan was a human. Hua Cheng also seemed to have no problems with the loud scream of the woman, proving that he either was not a demon or that this trap only affected demons from Yue Qingyuan’s world.

A few corridors later, Hua Cheng’s voice finally spoke the long-awaited words.

“We’re here.”

Before entering the chamber, however, Yue Qingyuan stopped and turned to the butterfly. He bowed deeply. “Hua Cheng. Lan Wangji. You both have this one’s deepest gratitude for how you’ve helped him today. I’m aware your time is running out and I’ve also not been a good host. So, I wish that we will meet again in the future, either in this world or one of yours, and I can properly express my thanks then.”

After a short silence, Hua Cheng replied, “Eh, there’s nothing you have that I would need anyway. If we meet again, just make sure to introduce me to that Xiao Jiu of yours properly.”

“Mhm,” Lan Wangji made.

“I will, as long as he’s willing.” Yue Qingyuan nodded. “I would also be honored to meet both of your special people and show them this world, if we meet here again.”

“Wei Ying would be excited,” Lan Wangji muttered and Hua Cheng laughed.

“Yeah, I can imagine His Highness would be too.” Then he paused. His voice took on a light-hearted tone. “Actually, if we meet again, a book on this world’s beasts and plants would be much appreciated.”

“Consider it done.” Yue Qingyuan smiled.

Then, he turned around. He took out the bag with his Xiao Jiu’s soul and the self-crafted talisman and stepped into the room with the Soul Array. Hua Cheng’s butterfly settled on one of the coffins that stood in here as well.

“As soon as you’re done, through this coffin, you’ll get back into the outside world.”

“Thank you.”

A gigantic array was painted on the floor of this room, its lines so intricate and varied that, if Yue Qingyuan were to try and copy it, he’d probably sit here for days. Not having that time, and not wanting to use it even if he did, Yue Qingyuan sat down in front of it and put down the pouch next to himself. He attached the talisman onto the pouch and straightened up, drawing a deep breath and readying himself for the spiritual energy transfer. The array needed a lot of energy to activate, whether spiritual or demonic did not matter, so over the entire time that he’d been in this mausoleum, he’d been trying to use it especially sparingly.

With a final exhale, he began pouring spiritual energy into the array. After a while, it began to light up faintly, which was a good sign of it working. One after another, the three corner points of the array started glowing. Yue Qingyuan could tell how much spiritual energy had already been transferred out of his body, but it was not enough. That was alright. He’d use his last reserves and destruct his spiritual veins if he needed to. When all three seemed to be bursting with light, Yue Qingyuan was quick to place the bag so that it touched one of the three corners and opened it. A blinding light erupted from the array now, even Yue Qingyuan had to squeeze his eyes shut.

When he opened them again, the array had calmed down. Only slight traces of spiritual energy remained in the air. He grabbed the pouch but it was empty. The talisman, too, had vanished.

“Did it work…?” He was surprised at how choked up his own voice sounded.

“His soul did indeed return to the mortal world. The day is almost over, so you need to leave quickly. I don’t think the Distance Shortening Array will persist once I am gone and it would be a real pity if you went through all that, only to be trapped within this mausoleum forever.”

Yue Qingyuan blinked. Right. He needed to move.

He stood up slowly for the third, and hopefully last, time within this Holy Mausoleum, only now he fell down two times before finally being able to stand. His legs shook from the strain and he almost toppled over again but he knew he needed to start moving. Some heavy, slow-paced steps later, he finally made it to the coffin. If not for the butterfly emitting light, he probably wouldn’t have found the way anymore. After three attempts, he managed to open up the lid and that was when all his strength left him. The last thing he remembered before losing consciousness was that he fell far deeper than the coffin should have allowed.

-----

The first thing Yue Qingyuan saw when woke up was the familiar ceiling of his bed. Or, well, not all too familiar since it had been a good long time since he’d last slept here. Or anywhere for that matter. It was dark, still at night then. Well, he couldn’t sleep anymore anyway. He shouldn’t. Whatever the reason that he’d thought he had the time to go to bed in the first place, he should start visiting more temples again now.

Next up should be somewhere north of Cang Qiong Mountain, fairly closer than most other temples he’d visited in recent years. He sat up to look towards his window in order to see how late it probably was, whether it was still worth it to travel. Why on earth had he been sleeping anyway?

“Get back down. You still haven’t recovered.”

Yue Qingyuan stopped. There was someone sitting on his bedside. Once he could make out a little more than the general silhouette, his breath hitched. All at once, the memories of the past day came back to him. Or, likely a little more than a day, seeing as when he’d left, it had been early morning and now it was late at night again.

“Xia-…” He stopped himself from saying that name by coughing when noticing how rough his voice sounded. “...Qingqiu-shidi?”

“You can hardly call me your shidi anymore. After all, I’ve seemingly been replaced.”

Shen Jiu looked very much alike to his original body. Probably around 70% alike, especially with those white-green robes he was wearing. His hair was still smooth and dark, well taken care of. His eyes were still the familiar black. His face was a little different. Judging from his sitting position, his height had also remained about the same. But really, the thing that gave it away was his expression. Of course, Yue Qingyuan had never forgotten the way his Xiao Jiu’s face moved to express all sorts of emotions, even if a little over sixteen years had passed since he’d last seen it happen. The slight press of his lips, the barely there frown and especially the little twitch of his right ear told Yue Qingyuan that this was Shen Jiu and that he was nervous.

Before Yue Qingyuan could say another word, Shen Jiu cut him off already. “What the fuck. is wrong with you?” Yue Qi blinked. “These past five years, I know you haven’t been eating, which would be fine for a cultivator of your caliber, but you haven’t been sleeping either and I know for a fact that meditation can’t fully make up for that! And then you return from that demon mausoleum with wounds all over your body, almost completely depleted qi and just generally on the brink of fucking death! What? Did you think one of us dying hadn’t been enough? Did you want to make it the both of us? I knew your self-preservation is shit but that’s a new low, even for you. All that talk about reviving me, when you’re clearly not even responsible enough for one life. Genuinely, what the hell were you thinking to believe that that whole stunt was even remotely a good idea?!”

“...Qingqiu.”

“What?” Shen Jiu snapped but then his eyes widened, his voice quickly losing its rough edge. “Are you-…”

Yue Qi was pretty sure that the first tear had slipped out some time after the second or third sentence of his Xiao Jiu’s rant. He hadn’t meant to start crying in front of Shen Jiu but apparently, whatever had been left of that facade of his after his Xiao Jiu’s death had been completely eradicated at the sight of him living again.

 “You’re alive…” Yue Qi said. And then again, and again, repeating it like a truth that he couldn’t quite process yet.

“...You’ve been very thorough in ensuring that,” Shen Jiu’s eyes traced down his face, likely following the tears down his cheeks as they went.

Yue Qi’s breath shuddered, as he tried to in- and exhale evenly enough to calm down. Yet, every time he looked in Shen Jiu’s direction, it started once more. This was his Xiao Jiu. He was alive. He was alive and he was here, still willing to talk to him. Yue Qi could hear the rustling of clothes and his breath hitched when he noticed that Shen Jiu was moving closer to him. Looking up, his Xiao Jiu was sitting on his bed now, right in front of him. Yue Qi had to bite his lip to prevent any small whimpers escaping him.

“I’m here, so stop bawling already. It doesn’t suit your face. Who wants their Sect Leader looking like that, ah?” Yue Qi’s heart warmed when he noticed these words lacked any real bite, unlike he was used to.

A breathy chuckle escaped him. “This is the longest we’ve spoken in over two decades…” Shen Jiu’s frown deepened at that but Yue Qi’s face had lit up a little at that realization.

“And I can make sure it won’t be any longer, since you’re already starting to mock me again,” Shen Jiu hissed.

 Yue Qi tensed up. “No, Qingqiu, I apologize. That is not what I meant to do.”

“Then you better start explaining why the fuck you would go on reviving me.” And before Yue Qi could open his mouth, Shen Jiu added, “And I swear to the gods, if this was some sort of guilty amendment for that promise, then I will walk out of this room right now.”

“It wasn’t,” Yue Qi hurried to say.

“Spit it out, then.”

“I…” He fisted the sheets and inhaled deeply, intending to tell his Xiao Jiu bluntly. “I just couldn’t stand a world without you.”

Shen Jiu’s eyes widened momentarily, then narrowed, looking to the side. His hands clenched to fists and he stood up at once.

“Qingqiu?”

“...You are mocking me.”

“I assure you, I am not.”

His eyes snapped back to Yue Qi and a sneer made its way onto Shen Jiu’s face. “Right. Last I checked, you were rather good at standing a world without me, so what changed? Did you think that reviving me would nullify the past?”

Yue Qi flinched. “No, that-”

“A life gifted for a life forsaken, is that it?”

“No-”

 “Is that why you weren’t able to sleep at night? Was the guilt eating you up? Were your thoughts filled with pity for the kid you cold-heartedly abandoned?”

“Qingqiu.”

Shen Jiu stared at him, a storm in his eyes. But, a storm never came without rain. No matter the wind’s wrath, there would always be a million tiny, fragile drops of water that were the reason for the clouds in the first place.

Yue Qi believed he could see that rain.

When Shen Jiu took a step towards the door, Yue Qi pushed himself off the bed to catch his Xiao Jiu’s hand. He could feel the other man freeze up at the first skin-to-skin contact they’d had in decades. His grip couldn’t have been strong, he already had to suppress a wince at the sharp pain that quickly started to radiate from some point on his lower arm where he could vaguely remember having been burned at. Nevertheless, Shen Jiu stopped. He didn’t even try to pull his hand free, though he could have, easily at this point. They both just stood in that position in silence.

At some point, Yue Qi’s legs started trembling. He could remember a trap having pierced his left calf at some point, so it was probably that. Still. He had a feeling that if he let go now, he could add that to the piling list of bitter regrets that he was going to carry with him for the rest of his life. He did not want to risk that feeling coming true. So he kept standing.

“Qingq-”

“What the hell happened in that demon mausoleum then?” Shen Jiu interrupted him suddenly, his voice wavering a little.” If you’re one thing, you’re skilled in combat, there’s no way the beasts inside could have messed you up that badly.”

Yue Qi blinked before sighing quietly. He knew Shen Jiu was deflecting but he would indulge him. There was no way he wouldn’t.

“The activation of the Soul Recall Array took up a large amount of my energ-”

“That does not explain how you’ve managed to get all those injuries before.” Shen Jiu turned around again, hand still in Yue Qi’s grip. “Regardless of what you might think, I’m not an idiot.”

“In no way could I ever think that, Qingqiu.”

“Then why don’t you treat me like that for once and answer my actual question?”

“I-…”

Yue Qi sat back down, letting go of Shen Jiu’s hand. This was it. He’d managed to get this far, fueled by the desperation of these past five years but this was the last and largest hurdle and would require more than just despair. Yue Qi would need courage.

He’d told Shen Qingqiu this before, though at that point he hadn’t yet known that it was actually Shen Yuan he’d said it to. Though, in hindsight, something about Shen Yuan had made it easier. Perhaps, he had already known, somewhere, that his shidi hadn’t really been the person he needed to tell this to. That would explain why his hands couldn’t stop trembling now.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out before any other words could form in his mind, his years of experience in politics and choosing his words wisely leaving him this very moment. “I know it is nothing but an empty phrase and even if it wasn’t, my words alone couldn’t ever right this wrong. I don’t mean to grovel for your sympathy and forgiveness, I truly don’t, but please, listen.”

“What-? Stop! Where is this-? This is not what I asked yo-”

“It is, Qingqiu,” Yue Qi actually interrupted Shen Jiu. “The reason why I didn’t come back in time, why I was struggling so much more within the Holy Mausoleum, they’re the same. The reason why Xuan Su practically never leaves its scabbard, the reason why-”

His voice broke off. He drew in a shuddering breath. His hands were shaking now, so were his shoulders and he winced as phantom pain rushed through his knees and lower legs. But he had to continue now. He had to. Shen Jiu had already died once without hearing it. So he swallowed past the tightness once more and continued.

“...the Lingxi caves, why they look like this. Xia- Qingqiu, I-, I cultivated too fast, I tried to come back too quickly and when I claimed Xuan Su, I suffered a Qi Deviation, a violent one. My master broke my- he broke my bones, severed my tendons, he destroyed my meridians and sealed the cave. I-I wasn’t let out for a year, or more, I don’t remember, and when I was, the Qiu Manor had been- been burnt down for a few days and you were- were gone. Xuan Su is tied to my life force, due to that Qi Deviation. That is why I don’t draw it, if I can help it but I used it to get inside the Holy Mausoleum.

“I know, all these words are just excuses. They don’t change anything. I’ve failed you, I broke our promise. You’ve always scolded me for my impulsivity, Xi- Qingqiu. I ruined everything because I couldn’t help being impulsive again and again. Ultimately, there’s nothing else I can say other than ‘I’m sorry’ no matter how empty it may be. Qingqiu, even though I know it doesn’t matter in the end, I really didn’t mean to not come back for you.”

Yue Qi’s entire body was trembling now, hands clenching into his robes, digging into his skin to make it stop, but it was pointless. His breaths were coming short, a few shudders in between but he hadn’t started crying again.

“The gashes… the blood… in the caves, was that-…?”

Yue Qi nodded harshly, desperate to answer, before he bit down on his tongue and shut his eyes tightly at that question, trying to get his body under control again. Trying to get his mind to blur out the images of the deep gauges within stone walls, of raw hands scratching at the rough surface for a way out, of seeing the face of his Xiao Jiu in every direction that he’d turn to, grabbing out towards him and wailing when it turned out to be nothing but an illusion. Trying to distract from the phantom feeling of warm liquid running down his head, of shocks still going through his limbs after the Qi Deviation had already subsided for a few months, of the exhausting pain of having multiple broken bones that pulled on his mind every time he was conscious enough to feel it. He could still taste the iron, even smell the revolting metallic stench and it was all so, so dark, no escape possible, the cave was sealed, there was no way to escape it, he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t calm down, he couldn’t recover, he didn’t have the time, Xiao Jiu needed him-

When he felt something touch his hand, a violent flinch coursed through his whole body. Suddenly he remembered that the dark was only beneath his eyelids and the blood came from his bitten tongue. His eyes flew open and he looked into the very pale face of Shen Jiu that was suddenly far closer again, his left hand extended mid-air, hesitant.

“Xiao Ji-” He cut his cry off, almost too late. “I mean- Qing-”

“Why did you never-...” Shen Jiu began and sat down once more, ignoring Yue Qi’s almost-transgression to his surprise, but then shook his head.

For a long time, it was just silence between them. Yue Qi used that to regulate his breathing again. His Xiao Jiu was here, he didn’t leave even after that admission. He was here and perhaps that meant he wouldn’t leave either.

“What excuses, what groveling?” Shen Jiu suddenly started, “You’re a Sect Leader, now, for Heaven’s sake, people won’t just ignore all reason to mindlessly vent their anger anymore. Especially not on you.”

“…”

What could he say? His Xiao Jiu was right, of course he was. It had taken him quite some time to allow himself to defend his position but in the face of his past, he couldn’t help but shrink in on himself again. Old habits died hard.

“Do you know how much I would have preferred this explanation to thinking you’d abandoned me on purpose?” There was something wretched in Shen Jiu’s voice forcing itself out alongside those words.

Yue Qi’s eyes widened. “Qingqiu, I would have never-…”

“Well, it sure looked like it.”

Yue Qi swallowed.

“I’m sor-”

“I know.” Shen Jiu interrupted him. “I get that, now, I know. You- I-…”

For the first time ever, Yue Qi saw his Xiao Jiu, the man who’d had a blade for a tongue ever since they first met as little kids, completely at a loss for words.

“...Why would you do all this?” Shen Jiu asked again eventually. His voice was so uncharacteristically small.

“It’s just like you had said when we were children. All my loyalty lies with you. Reasonably, I may not deserve yours but you have never lost mine.” He directly locked gazes with Shen Jiu, trying to convey his utmost sincerity on his face. “Will never lose mine.”

Shen Jiu let out a breathy laugh at that, though there was neither humor in it nor did the corners of his mouth lift. In fact, he looked rather desperate.

“How…?”

“Just how I had yours, long ago, despite my own stupidity.”

“That’s not at all comparable. Sure, you’re an imbecile, but there’s a difference between that and- and someone like me.”

“I don’t see any difference.”

If his Xiao Jiu thought that Yue Qi had enough positive qualities, then Shen Jiu possessed even more. If Shen Jiu thought of himself as bad, then how far down was Yue Qi?

Shen Jiu gritted his teeth. His hands balled into fists as he raised his voice, “Did you know, I would have rather you died somewhere in a ditch for me to cry over your pathetic attempt to save both our lives than live with the fact that you’re healthy and thriving and had just- just forgotten about me. You can’t stand a world without me?! Well, I can’t stand to see a world in which you’re happy and I’m not, not like that, not when that means you-…” Shen Jiu’s voice cracked and he broke off, lower lip quivering.

Ah.

So it had come to this, after all.

Yue Qi brought up his lips in a shaky smile, though really, it was crumbling around the edges. “That is alright. You’re right to think this way, even. I agree.”

Shen Jiu stilled.

“No, that’s not- You-…”

He stared at Yue Qi, a bewildered expression on his face. Then, he swallowed and his shoulders slumped. Like this, his Xiao Jiu looked defeated, confused, lost.

“No. Don’t you get it? I’m cruel. I’m selfish. I’m a bad person, how else can I make you understand that? You shouldn’t-… you should-...”

Oh.

So it was like this.

Shen Jiu stared at him, his eyes desperate for something Yue Qi could never give him. Then, like shattered glass only a touch away from breaking apart:

“...How can you still be this way, Qi-ge…?”

At once, the trembling stopped. Everything stopped. Yue Qi held his breath and even stopped blinking. If this truly was something his exhausted mind had conjured up after all, Yue Qi wouldn’t dare do anything that might cause this dream to end.

They were enveloped in the quiet of the night. A light breeze ruffled through the leaves of the bushes outside of Yue Qi’s house. A bird’s cry called into the silence, far away. In the dark only illuminated by gentle moonlight, Yue Qi’s eyes hadn’t been able to make out the finer details of Shen Jiu’s face when he’d been sitting next to his bed but now that he was sitting right in front of him…

Shen Jiu’s lips pressed against each other tightly, the moonlight from the side projecting a faint shimmer into his eyes. His Xiao Jiu had always looked the most handsome under the soft shine of the moon. There was a small frown on his face and noticeable tension around his ears. Shen Yuan never utilized the muscles around his ears, likely because he didn’t in the life he’d led before coming to possess Shen Qingqiu’s body, but seeing it on his Xiao Jiu’s face was so familiar to Yue Qi, despite not having seen it in sixteen years, that it made another tear slip from his eyes.

“Xiao Jiu…” It was hesitant, more a question. The first time in more than thirty years he’d said these two words without being immediately interrupted but they felt so familiar on his tongue nonetheless, as if it was the most natural thing for him to say this name. His stomach flipped at the realization.

“Qi-ge.”

A sob fought its way out of Yue Qi at the name that felt most like himself, that he hadn’t heard in over half his life. His hands twitched, overcome with the desire to reach out but he held himself back. He couldn’t let himself go, he had to be respectful of his Xiao Jiu, he couldn’t just-

Shen Jiu took his hand in his and it was as though all strings were cut from Yue Qi. He fell forwards, against the other man’s shoulder. Shen Jiu made a surprised noise, as they fell back on the bed together. Before Yue Qi could get his limbs back under control, put some more distance between them as he still wasn’t sure where they stood now, whether this was too much, he felt a weight pressing down on his back.

Two arms had slung themselves around him, pressing down hard, fingers digging into his robe, pushing Yue Qi’s body closer to the one underneath him, as though Shen Jiu wanted to merge their bodies into one, as though he wanted to suffocate in his Qi-ge. An ugly sound tore itself from Yue Qi’s mouth, as his crying resumed, heavy, violent shudders wrecking through his body this time. He tried to breathe in as much as he could with his hitching inhales and the severe pain of at least one wound having torn open, breathing in as much of his Xiao Jiu as he could.

“Stupid, stupid Qi-ge.” Yue Qi heard the muffled words between his own sobs. “You shouldn’t want to die. Not you. Everyone but you.” Shen Jiu moved one hand to hit him on his head before he resumed gripping tightly enough to form bruises on Yue Qi’s skin. Contrary to that grip, his Xiao Jiu’s hit had been light, almost soft.

Yue Qi only cried harder at that. “For you, Xiao Jiu, any-anythi-… anything, Xiao Jiu, I-…” He pressed his lips together.

“You can’t-” Shen Jiu hiccuped. “You can’t say something like that. Qi-ge, not to me. I’m not-...”

Yue Qi rode out his shudders for a little while before forcing himself onto his elbows. Shen Jiu’s grip tightened and in the shining eyes that Yue Qi could see now, he could make out sheer panic.

Shifting his weight a little, he brought up his left hand to Shen Jiu’s face, lightly touching his cheek with his fingertips. His Xiao Jiu shuddered, a tear finally slipping out, trailing down his face on the left side. Yue Qi wiped it away, gently. He’d never seen Shen Jiu cry before. Yue Qi never wanted him to cry again but, at the same time, he was glad that it wasn’t out of pain. Shen Jiu leaned into the touch and he cradled his Xiao Jiu’s cheek.

“Xiao Jiu…” Shen Jiu’s eyes closed against his palm and a smile, the first genuine one in years, bloomed on Yue Qi’s face at that display of trust. He couldn’t have kept it down even if he’d tried.

Yue Qi’s hand trailed down his Xiao Jiu’s face until his thumb could brush over soft lips. Shen Jiu’s eyes opened again with a startle but there were no signs of apprehension. Yue Qi’s smile widened.

“Qi-ge-…” Yue Qi could feel the warm breath against his thumb.

“Xiao Jiu, you’re the only one I would say something like that to. Ever.”

Yue Qi lowered his head, slowly, keeping eye contact with his Xiao Jiu all the while, checking for any signs of discomfort. His hand moved to Shen Jiu’s cheek once more.

“Xiao Jiu.” His words were barely above a whisper. “Whatever path you wish to follow will guide me. You have my body, my soul, my loyalty so you may use me for all your desires, whether you wish for me to heal or kill, I will heed your words.”

Shen Jiu’s breathing got heavier, little hitches in between that told of small sobs. Yue Qi cradled his left cheek, tenderly caressing the skin underneath his eye with his thumb.

“If you wish to punish me for my misdeeds, I will abide by your every word. I would rather carve out my own heart, be pierced by ten thousand arrows until not even my dust is left, than let you down once more.”

The other man’s eyes were wide but they rather told of disbelief than dread. Yue Qi smiled fondly at that.

“All I want is to remain by your side for as long as you let me live. If you can endure this single, selfish request of mine, Xiao Jiu, then my life is yours.”

His Xiao Jiu stared at him for a long time. Neither of them moved, their faces so close their breaths were mingling.

“...You know I despise false promises,” Shen Jiu said under his breath, voice fragile. The look in his eyes was so vulnerable but so hopeful, Yue Qi’s heart squeezed.

He hummed. “So do I.”

Shen Jiu exhaled softly, before he closed his eyes with a flutter and moved his head upwards a little, bridging that final gap himself.

It was as though something finally clicked. Like an answer to a question he’d never dared to ask out loud. Feeling Shen Jiu’s warm lips against his own made Yue Qi feel like everything was finally alright.

At some point Yue Qi had fully leaned onto his Xiao Jiu, his right hand sneaking underneath the other man’s head while Shen Jiu’s hands had buried in his hair. At some point tears had started to slip out from underneath his eyelids and dropped down on his Xiao Jiu’s face. At some point, the kiss had started to shift from gentle to desperate, both of them trying to convey the depths of their feelings like this, and at least Yue Qi felt like he was failing.

After what could have well been the entire night in Yue Qi’s mind, they finally broke apart for longer than a second. Yue Qi couldn’t help but laugh, an unrestrained, trembling thing, his cheeks aching from the crusted salt. He sucked in his breath though, when Shen Jiu joined in on the laughter. His Xiao Jiu’s swollen lips were stretched into a smile, his red cheeks glistening with both of their tears but his eyes were alight with something other than that. It made Yue Qi’s tight heart squeeze impossibly more and he swore to never forget the sight of this.

In all his years, Yue Qi hadn’t thought he’d ever get to see a smile like this from his Xiao Jiu again. That he was able to have it now, privately, only for him, it was...

He dove down towards his Xiao Jiu again, this time peppering kisses all over his face.

“Qi-ge, I’m a greedy, greedy man,” Shen Jiu began between those kisses, the smile never leaving his eyes. “What if I want to lock you up because I don’t want anyone else ever laying their eyes on you again?”

“Yes… Xiao Jiu, my Xiao Jiu, anything…”

“What if I don’t want you looking at anyone else ever again? Would you retire from your position as Sect Leader? Would you spend the rest of your life in seclusion to heed my wishes?”

Yue Qi nodded against Shen Jiu’s skin without hesitation and his Xiao Jiu let out a satisfied rumble. The light kisses trailed along Shen Jiu’s jaw and down his neck until they arrived at his pulse point. Then, Yue Qi buried his face in the crook of his Xiao Jiu’s neck and nosed at the point where he could feel his heart beat, where he could feel his Xiao Jiu was alive.

“… I will give you all my loyalty of this life too, Qi-ge. You can still have it, despite your stupidity.”

His breath started shaking once more at those mumbled words and his hands slid underneath Shen Jiu’s shoulders, to pull him closer. Really, perhaps the past five years had worn him out a bit more than he’d thought.

In turn, Shen Jiu’s hands touched everything they could reach. His back, his sides, his arms, his hair, his head, his neck, everything until Yue Qi could feel bruises forming under his Xiao Jiu’s harsh touch all over him.

“You’re mine for life now, Qi-ge. You don’t get to leave anymore,” Shen Jiu whispered between shuddering inhales.

Yue Qi shook his head and mumbled, “I’m yours. Would never want to leave.”

He could feel a slight press on his head and smiled into his Xiao Jiu’s neck at the thought that it was probably a kiss of his own.

-----

For the first time since being able to make a choice out of it, Shen Jiu woke up next to a man. Not just next to a man, no, their legs were tangled, their arms had pulled each other close and the man’s head was pressed to Shen Jiu’s chest. It wasn’t just any man either but, in fact, it was the only man he’d ever trusted since childhood, the only man that owned his heart, body, soul and loyalty until and beyond death. Yue Qi, Yue Qingyuan, his Qi-ge.

His Qi-ge.

Only a month ago, Shen Jiu would have never thought that this would be a development he’d ever experience. After sixteen years of it, he’d pretty much gotten over the fact that he was dead. His unfinished business kept him unable to move on to the next stage and Shen Jiu was really fucking glad about that now.

He’d only been able to stay at Yue Qingyuan’s house and watch him there. And how much Shen Jiu had loathed him when it had seemed like Yue Qingyuan had not cared about his death whatsoever. Not just Yue Qingyuan but also himself, for getting his hopes up, that the man that he’d cared about so much perhaps hadn’t just feigned his kindness. The resentment had only grown and Shen Jiu had been tied to the realm of the living even more.

Like that, however, he’d also been able to see that his body had been inhabited by someone else in his absence and with that, Yue Qingyuan’s reaction to the truth that Shen Qingqiu was nothing more than an impostor. Or at least Shen Jiu heavily assumed that had been the topic, souls couldn’t actually hear anything. But the way that Yue Qingyuan’s mask had just slipped, the look on his face as Yue Qi had realized that Shen Jiu hadn’t been alive in over eleven years… it had made Shen Jiu rethink his view on the situation.

He’d still hated Yue Qingyuan, at least sort of, but the other man had also been the one thing keeping him tied to this world. Which had meant that when Yue Qi had suddenly arrived with two strange men in tow, one asking him whether he would want to be revived, Shen Jiu hadn’t had much to debate. Especially considering that the utterly exhausted expression Shen Jiu had come to see as a constant on his Qi-ge’s face those past five years had been tinged with such fragile hopefulness at the question.

Shen Jiu truly hoped that Yue Qi would never find out just how much power he held over him, just with those kicked puppy eyes. Before, when he’d at least still resented him, it had been easier to ignore, but now...

Well, Shen Jiu still preferred that he had no actual reason to resent Yue Qi anymore. It would have been much preferred if that explanation had come decades sooner, but. Well.

Shen Jiu could say that he didn’t understand, of course, he was an excellent liar. But Yue Qi and Shen Jiu had grown up with each other. If Shen Jiu didn’t understand how that man ticked, then who would? Therefore, Shen Jiu knew very well that Yue Qi, like himself, was not likely to defend himself when confronted with an accusation, especially an unjust one. Their reasons were as different as could be but the outcome was the same.

Shen Jiu sighed deeply, hoping it would wake up his Qi-ge. He wanted to see his face again.

Yue Qi did wake up at that. It wasn’t long before that face nuzzled itself into Shen Jiu’s chest and those eyes slowly blinked open. They stared ahead for a little while before a jolt went through his Qi-ge’s body and Yue Qi’s eyes shot upwards.

“Did you know that this is the first time I’ve slept in a room together with a man ever since coming to Cang Qiong?”

Shen Jiu wasn’t exactly sure why but for the first time in his life, he wanted to be known. He wanted Qi-ge to know every single part about him, to know him so intimately that Shen Jiu would become a part of him, until Yue Qi couldn’t let him go anymore, even if he wanted to. He wanted it to be like that the other way around too. The thought scared him immensely as much as he longed for it.

Yue Qi’s face shifted from confusion, to sorrow and lastly into a smile. Shen Jiu scoffed at it as much as he swooned. This incandescent smile was so different from the polite one he donned to face the outside world. It was just- unfairly breathtaking and undeserved, really.

It was nothing compared to the expression Shen Jiu had seen last night however. Red, gaping lips, a heavy blush tinging his cheeks and ears, bright eyes peeking out from underneath wet eyelashes and his black hair having fallen around the two of them, hiding them from the rest of the world. Keeping this view for Shen Jiu and Shen Jiu only.

Shen Jiu wanted to consume him. Perhaps only swallowing the sun itself down whole would work to satisfy the dark abyss that was his greed.

Their kiss had surprised Shen Jiu, much like the fact that, in the end, he himself had initiated it. He’d thought, if he ever would be kissed by a man again, it would be just as rough, just as disgustingly needy. He should have known that kissing his Qi-ge would be nothing like that. It had just felt right. It had felt like finally coming home, after searching for a place like that his entire life. It had been comforting, even as they’d both become increasingly more urgent to convey the extent of their feelings, which at least Shen Jiu considered a failed endeavor.

Afterwards, when they’d calmed down a little, Shen Jiu had been bestowed the honorable task of switching out the bandages of the wounds that had reopened when Yue Qi had thrown himself onto Shen Jiu. Yue Qi had insisted he could do it on his own but like hell if Shen Jiu trusted his Qi-ge with taking care of himself properly ever again. And if Shen Jiu had been a little rougher with the injury than necessary and had accidentally touched a few of the burns as well, then his Qi-ge had only himself to blame. Shen Jiu didn’t like to see his Qi-ge in pain, not genuinely, but a little retribution was really what he deserved...

“...Falling for me like this, you’re such a fool, Qi-ge.”

Shen Jiu privately hoped Yue Qi would never change that about himself. It was hard to imagine he would still regard Shen Jiu the same if he did. Shen Jiu was a wretched, horrible thing after all, with no love for anything in this world other than his Qi-ge. A man like Yue Qi, compassionate and brilliant as he was, could really only return such devotion equally if he was a fool.

Yue Qi’s smile, miraculously, softened even further and his gaze gained a helplessly fond edge.

“When faced with you, my Xiao Jiu, when have I ever been anything other than foolish?”

Unfortunately, Yue Qi’s bright smile, so tender and warm, full of a happiness Shen Jiu had never seen on his face before, was very, very contagious.

...Perhaps, his Qi-ge would truly never change.