Chapter Text
With a hard push, Levi kicked off the ground, gliding down the sidewalk. His parted fringe fluttered as a crisp breeze flew in between his black hair, and his cheeks suffused with a light pink while the rays of the morning sun heated them up. He rode his skateboard across the road, avoiding cars and passersby, most of which were students, heading to his same high school. He recognised some of them but greeted none. It was too early for any kind of human interaction, even more so with people he didn’t like to begin with.
The ride from his home to school lasted only ten minutes, and the bell rang just as he came to a halt in front of the school gate. He picked up the skateboard and calmly walked towards the entrance. He wasn’t the only student still lingering around, and the hallways were surely too crowded for his taste right now, with everyone scurrying to class or finding a way to skip it unnoticed. His first class of the day was economics, and he knew the professor well enough to be certain that he could leisurely take a shit and still be at his desk before the teacher showed up.
With his free hand, he pushed open the school doors and headed to his locker. As predicted, some students were still chatting in groups or walking to their classrooms as if they had all the time in the world. Levi adjusted his pace to theirs and once he had reached his locker, he stored his skateboard in it, neatly placing it against the metal wall, next to the pair of sneakers he kept for P.E. He then rummaged through the books on the higher shelf, picking out the ones he’d need for his morning classes and that he hadn’t taken home. His schedule for the day was one of the most boring combinations he had ever had in his career as a high school student, and although a senior, he still hadn’t learnt how to survive a tedious school day without wanting to stab himself with a pen to go home early.
That was also why he didn’t hurry his movements despite the hallway emptying, but as he was gathering the willpower to start yet another school day, another reason to linger around presented itself. A familiar mixture of giggles and high-pitched voices reached his ears, and his head turned before he knew it. A group of jocks and cheerleaders was rounding a corner and walking down the hallway in Levi’s direction. If Levi’s head had been quick, his eyes were even quicker and trained on a tall boy in the middle of the group.
His chest tightened as he admired the easy smile on the boy’s lips, as he took in the messy bun tying his hair and the way the muscles of his forearms flexed as he wound an arm around a short girl with blond hair and a cheerleader uniform. But as quickly as his eyes landed on the boy, they also moved back to the contents of his locker, and the ache in his chest turned from bittersweet to sour, to something muddy that tainted his mood. The feeling, however, was so familiar it had become homely. It was weirder for Levi not to feel like his heart had been taken out of his chest and run over by the school bus whenever he crossed paths with Eren Jaeger, the most popular boy in the school.
His crush for him had started like a simple interest, a casual tugging in his gut when he realised how much Eren had grown in the summer between his junior and sophomore year, but now, over a year later, it had turned into a constant yearning in his chest, a heavy weight that dragged his soul down, that clouded his mind with a fog so thick that he couldn’t see a way out. For as much as he knew that Eren had no interest in dating guys and that even if he had, a loner skater boy wasn’t going to be his pick of choice, Levi couldn’t stop the frantic beating of his heart nor the burning heat in his gut every time he thought about Eren.
Fixing his gaze on the corner of his science book, Levi waited for the group to pass. He forced himself to stay as still as possible, to not show any signs of interest in any particular person walking by him. A vanilla scent got stuck in the back of his throat, nauseating him, but rather than the perfume, it was a warm voice that made him sick to the stomach. Unable to deny himself any longer, he took a glance over his shoulder, thankful that the only parts of the jocks and cheerleaders he could see were their backs. No one needed to know about his crush on Eren, and so far, he had done a good job at hiding it. He had learned how not to get caught when he ogled at the boy or to hide the slight warmth on his cheeks when he caught a glimpse of him.
It was pathetic and he felt pathetic if he stopped to properly consider his situation, but he did it very rarely, too content to pretend everything was fine and that he was fine even if he was wasting time on a crush that would never be requited. In just a few months, he’d be graduating from high school and going to college where he would forget all about Eren’s broad shoulders or toned abs, all about his big hands closing around a football and his radiant smile when his team won. In just a few months, all of this would be a distant memory, a faraway dream that had never had a chance to become reality.
Slamming his locker shut, Levi turned on his heels to go to class, ignoring the way his heart was darkening in his chest. Dwelling on his unrequited crush so early in the morning was a sure way to ruin his chances at surviving his school day, but by now he had grown so accustomed to the pain that he was able to go on with his life without it bringing him down. He would deal with the consequences of it later that night, when his defences were weaker and his longing stronger, but for now, he gathered all his strength to pull through the morning.
Class after class, Levi’s energies slowly drained until he dragged himself to the cafeteria for lunch. His brain craved a break from being overused and he slumped on a chair with a soft sigh. He took out the packed lunch his mom had prepared for him and set it on the table, taking out a napkin and cutlery and neatly arranging them next to the glass container with a pasta salad. He grabbed the thermos of tea he had brewed that morning and poured some in the plastic cup functioning as a cap. With his lunch set, he was ready to dive in, but before he could take a bite of his food, a plastic tray got slammed on the table and the seat in front of him got quickly occupied by a fellow student.
“What are you having for lunch today?” Hange asked, eyeing Levi’s lunch from behind their glasses.
“Just some pasta,” Levi replied. He and Hange had been close friends since kindergarten, and even if they didn’t share every class, one way or another, they always ended up having lunch together.
“Looking good,” Hange said. “They had bean soup and steak with potatoes at the canteen.”
Levi threw a questioning glance at the dishes on Hange’s tray, once more glad his mom took the time to prepare his lunch. The few times he had to eat what the school provided, his stomach had felt like a brick for the rest of the day.
“Classrooms are going to smell like shit with everyone farting thanks to the beans.”
“The pros and cons of eating healthily.” Hange grinned, shoving a spoonful of soup in their mouth.
Levi’s lips morphed into a grimace and then he dove into his food too.
As they ate, Hange made small talk about their morning classes, detailing everything that happened so minutely that it was as if Levi had taken those classes as well. By now, Levi knew all about Hange’s French professor with the upturned moustache and thick accent that they perfectly imitated, or about the flings going on between classmates Levi hardly knew existed. Theirs was a well-oiled routine with Hange talking and Levi listening and giving monosyllabic replies to signal he was still paying attention as he finished his food.
Hange had moved on to their chemistry project when Levi’s focus shifted somewhere else. A group of students in football uniforms had entered the cafeteria, and Levi’s eyes were so quick that he was staring at Eren before he realised it. The boy was with the same people he had walked to class with in the morning, but this time, they were following behind four senior students, with a tall blond boy at the head.
“Hi, Erwin,” Hange shouted as they waved their hand to get the boy’s attention.
Erwin’s eyes—like those of half of the cafeteria—landed on Hange, and his lips curled in a friendly smile. Levi was still gazing at Eren but when the younger boy glanced his way, intrigued by Hange’s words as well, he was quick to look away. His heart sped up in an instant and his food twisted in his stomach. So much for being used to his feelings for Eren.
He wanted to curse at Hange for always being so loud, but he didn’t have the time as Erwin stopped by their table.
“Hey, guys,” he said. “How’s it going?”
Based on their appearances, no one would ever think that the captain of the football team was close friends with the skater boy and the nerd of the school, but the three of them had met in kindergarten, and although their interests had diverged as they grew up, they were still on friendly terms and often hung out after school if Erwin wasn’t practicing with his team.
“Good, good,” Hange replied. “Are you guys ready for this weekend’s game?”
“Never been more ready.” Erwin grinned.
“We gotta kick some asses if we want to win the cup this year.”
“We’ll win it. The adversaries are tough but we are tougher.”
“Give your team a good pep talk, captain.” Hange saluted. “You know, I’ve been watching some videos of rugby players hyping each other up before a game. I could give your team the same pep talk to bring up the mood.”
“That’ll make them want to die rather than play football,” Levi said.
“Sush, I know I could give them a boost of confidence.”
“Maybe I’ll ask you into the lockers one day,” Erwin replied.
“Don’t encourage them, Erwin, you know they will hold you accountable for what you said.”
“I will,” Hange retorted with an excited glint in their eyes. For reasons that Levi couldn’t understand, Hange’s interest in the school’s football team was even greater than that of the players themselves.
“Well, we’ll see,” Erwin said. “I’m going to get something to eat now. See you around.”
“Bye, Erwin.” Hange smiled wide.
“Bye,” Levi replied as his friend turned around to join the group of people from before.
“Will you be coming to the game this Friday?” Hange asked as they started eating again.
“No,” Levi deadpanned.
“What do you mean no? You have to come!”
“I don’t have to come. I don’t care about football.”
“Oh come on, Levi, there’s even an after party we can go to.”
“And be around a bunch of kids drunk on smuggled alcohol? No thanks.”
“It’s not always that bad and it’s usually just a couple of idiots.”
Levi grunted. “Still, I’m not coming.”
For as much as he would have enjoyed to get a chance to ogle at Eren without looking like a creep, seeing him surrounded by a bunch of desperate cheerleaders was high on the list of things that made him want to gouge out his eyes.
“Please,” Hange pleaded, sticking out their bottom lip while making puppy eyes. “I don’t want to go to the game alone.”
“Liar.” Levi huffed. “You don’t care about anyone else when the game starts and you yell like a maniac, it’s embarrassing.”
“I’ll behave, I promise!”
Levi sighed. “I really don’t want to go.”
“You’ve been to games before, I know you secretly like it.”
Levi secretly liked looking at a certain player, but he couldn’t care less about anything else.
“It’ll be fun, please,” Hange begged again, and Levi gave up with a sigh. Arguing with Hange wasn’t worth the headache that it caused and deep down, he didn’t mind having an excuse to ogle at the boy of his dreams, regardless of how painful it was.
“Fine, but I won’t go to the after party.”
“We’ll see.” Hange grinned.
Levi took a deep breath, preparing himself for the upcoming headache.
When Friday evening rolled around, Levi begrudgingly headed back to school. Hange’s attempts to hype him up for the game during the week had done nothing to infuse Levi with their same enthusiasm; if anything, all that football talk had made him less inclined to go. But the weakest part of himself kept reminding him that if he went to the game, he’d see Eren again, and so Levi now walked towards the school’s stadium, where hundreds of students and parents were already filling the air with their cheers and laughter.
Looking around, Levi spotted Hange sitting in the middle row with the perfect view of the field, and he made his way towards them. They were wearing one of Erwin’s old T-shirts on top of a black long-sleeved turtleneck and were eating from a packet of chips while they intently watched the teams warm up. Levi’s eyes went to the teenagers on the grass too, chest constricting when he noticed Eren.
“Over here, Levi!” Hange yelled, waving at him.
“I saw you already,” Levi replied as he reached them and sat down on the free seat Hange had reserved for him.
“I’m glad to see you didn’t bail on me.”
“I gave you my word that I’d be here, and here I am.”
“Knowing you, it wouldn’t have surprised me if you had accidentally fallen asleep and missed the game.”
“I wouldn’t be missing out on much if I did honestly.”
“That’s because you haven’t been to enough games to appreciate how strong our team is.” Hange’s eyes were lighting up with a crazed glint, and Levi feared for his ears as they continued, “We have won almost every game this season. The coach is doing wonders with the team, and Erwin is the perfect captain. He’s able to make the players feel like a real team, you know? Even the freshmen. No one gets left behind.”
“You’re starting to sound like a politician trying to convince people their party is the best one.”
“That’s because we are the best.”
“I suppose I haven’t been subjected to enough football games on TV to share your same enthusiasm.”
“We should change that,” Hange said, their crazed gaze brightening.
“Or we shouldn’t,” Levi retorted.
“I could take you to a professional football game this summer.”
“Or you couldn't.”
“Oh, stop it with this.” Hange shoved Levi’s shoulder. “You’d enjoy it, I just know it. It could be just you, me, and Erwin. One last memory before going to college.”
“You say this as if you won’t be dragging me to every football game in college too.”
“Roomies gotta stick together.” Hange grinned.
Levi rolled his eyes with a resigned sigh. Sharing a room with Hange when they entered college was going to be a challenge for his patience.
“They’re going in to get changed, “Hange suddenly exclaimed, squeezing Levi’s arm as they pointed at the two teams going back inside.
Levi glanced at the separate groups disappearing behind the stands, following a familiar bun with his eyes until it got out of sight.
As the teams got ready, the cheerleaders entered the field and started their drills. Levi watched them, bored but with a hint of envy. It was so easy for them to get close to Eren, to casually lean on his arms or ask for his jacket. And Eren was always more than happy to comply. His fame as a ladies’ man never failed to sting Levi’s heart, to prickle it with a thin and long needle that instilled poison deep inside his soul. Thinking about all the girls that had enjoyed Eren’s company soured Levi’s mood like nothing else, and he had no one but himself to blame for both letting his thoughts run wild and letting himself care so much.
Feeling once again down in the dumps, Levi paid only mild attention to the teams leaving the changing rooms and not even the loud cheering and whistling of the spectators cut through the veil of sadness that had engulfed him. His eyes followed every player on the field without really seeing them, and the uniforms made it easier to pretend he didn't recognise the source of his misery.
“Kick their asses all the way home,” Hange shouted next to him. Their voice almost made Levi go deaf but it did succeed in pulling him out of his pity party, at least enough to reproach them.
“Pipe it down,” he told his friend. “They can’t hear you anyway, you know?”
“Erwin told me he can!” Hange protested with their eyes glued to the ball as the game started.
“He was being polite.”
“It helps to intimidate the other team as well. So that they know they shouldn’t do anything funny.”
“Because you’re so scary, yeah.”
“Hell yeah, I am.”
Hange’s confidence caused an amused huff to leave Levi’s nose. Even unknowingly, Hange always had the power to lift his mood.
Games always lasted too long in Levi’s opinion, and this time was no different. After following what was happening on the field for a few minutes, his interest quickly faded and he resorted to scrolling through his phone. He checked his socials and frowned at Hange whenever he risked losing his hearing to them, but after a while that got boring too. He casually cast glances at the players, trying to read a particular name on the back of the uniforms and a pang pierced through his heart whenever he caught a glimpse of it.
Judging by Hange’s excitement, Levi assumed their team was winning, and the uproar that shook the air when the referee blew the whistle to signal the end proved him right. Students and parents of the home team sat up to cheer at their players, and the cheerleaders began their victory dance. While the losing team hid away in the lockers, the winners removed their helmets to wave at their friends on the stands or to chest bump each other. Levi didn’t miss the way Eren’s smile lit up his face, how proud of himself he was, and he couldn't help the soft smile that curled his lips too.
“Time to party now,” Hange hollered.
“Where’s this party anyway?” Levi asked.
“Eld’s hosting it.”
Levi groaned. “I’m not going then. His parties are the worst. I don’t know how his parents still haven’t kicked him out of the house with how many people always throw up inside and outside of the house.”
“We’ll hang out together; you won’t even know people are getting drunk,” Hange tried to convince him. “And some of my friends are coming too. We’ll have fun for sure!”
Levi knew all too well that sometimes arguing with Hange led him nowhere and that it was easier to comply and find a way out of whatever madness they dragged him into later.
“I won’t stay for long,” Levi warned. “As soon as I see a single person even just gagging, I’m leaving.”
“Eld’s house is so big you won’t see any.” Hange grinned.
Levi saw the first person being sick as he walked up the pathway to the front door of Eld’s house, but Hange quickly ushered him along, holding his shoulders tight as he pushed him up the patio. Levi forced the image out of his head, deciding to look past the disgust crawling up his throat just this once, but his determination wavered when he stepped inside the house. Suspicious bottles were being passed around and poured into awaiting plastic cups that quickly emptied down eager throats.
One didn’t need much imagination to figure out the consequences of that, and Levi had seen the end results one too many times to keep his hopes up. It was only because of Hange’s grip that he didn’t turn around and leave immediately, and thankfully, for once his friend steered him away from the heart of the party. Not that what he saw as he walked through Eld’s living room suddenly sparked a burst of love for his fellow students anyway. Couples making out in every corner, people groping each other as they danced to the music blasting from the speakers, girls and boys revealing too much skin as they tried to find someone for a quickie. For as hard as he tried to keep his gaze on his feet, Levi couldn’t help but notice all of it, and the urge to go back to his clean and quiet home strengthened.
“My friends should be here somewhere,” Hange shouted in Levi’s ear.
“Great,” Levi mumbled. Although Hange’s friends were way more normal than them, they weren’t exactly his crowd, and for some reason were intimidated by his blunt remarks and no-fucks-given attitude.
After a bit of searching, they found Hange’s friends in a corner at the end of the hallway to the kitchen, looking more out of place than Levi at a ballet class. The three boys stood out like sore thumbs with their ironed shirts and neatly combed hair, the total opposite of Hange and everyone else who was attending the party. Levi didn’t doubt that it was their mutual friend who always dragged them to these social gatherings, but it was precisely thanks to Hange that they were able to go if they wanted.
Being friends with the football team’s captain had granted Levi and Hange special status at school. They were far from being popular and no crowd parted for them as they walked around, but no one dared to bully or mock them because they didn’t want to get on Erwin’s bad side. They were mostly left alone and the few people who bothered them were freshmen who wanted to get close to Erwin and found Hange and Levi more approachable than him. Levi failed to understand how him with his pissed off frown and bitch resting face, and crazy Hange with their endless talking and nerdy facts seemed more friendly than a jock, but he had never lost any sleep trying to find an answer to the question.
“You missed an awesome game,” Hange shouted over the music to the three boys.
“Yeah?” Moblit replied, always the one to give Hange his full attention.
Levi suspected it was because he had a thing for them; the way his eyes followed them around or how quick he was to engage in a conversation with them regardless of the topic had risen his suspicions since the first time he saw them interact with each other at the beginning of the previous year, but the fact that both Hange and Moblit were still single was proof against his sixth sense.
But even now as Hange shouted incomprehensible comments on the game and Moblit nodded to signal he was listening even if his gaze was as lost as Levi’s during economics class, Levi couldn’t help but think that there was a hidden meaning behind his attention.
Onyankopon and Nicolo’s reaction to Hange’s fanatic remarks was closer to Levi’s own, their focus more and more honed onto what was happening around them rather than on Hange’s conversation, and eventually Onyankopon interrupted Hange’s stream of football vocabulary to ask a more mundane question.
“Are we getting something to drink?”
“Something strong?” Hange winked.
“Not for you,” Levi told them. “Remember what happened last time.”
“The past’s in the past.” Hange brushed him off. “Today I’m a responsible person.”
Responsible and Hange worked in the same sentence only with a not between them, and Levi knew it well enough to keep an eye on them whenever they decided to do something questionable.
The group moved to the kitchen where they had to squeeze through a mass of people hovering around the table with the drinks. Erwin had arrived too and Hange stopped by him to congratulate him on the victory while Levi scanned the teenagers around him. If Erwin was there then it was likely that the rest of the football team had joined the party too. Levi noticed some familiar faces around the kitchen and the hallway, and among them Eren’s as well. His chest filled with a flow of happiness and warmth only to drain immediately after noticing the cheerleader holding onto his arm.
Bitter disappointment turned his saliva into acid, but the feeling was directed at himself rather than at Eren. No matter how many times he had cursed himself, had called himself names, or had torn to pieces and stepped on his rosy dreams, they were always lurking in the shadows of his heart, poisoning it with their wishfulness and seeping their sweetness into it, each time making it harder for Levi to recover from scenes like the one in front of him. The heartache cut deep whenever reality slapped him in the face, and he had to once more make peace with the fact that Eren was never going to be his.
Despite his resolution to never drink something he hadn’t poured himself at a party, Levi grabbed one of the plastic cups laying in messy rows on the kitchen island and downed it down. The taste of alcohol was so strong that he grimaced. If there had been any kind of soda in it, it had drowned in the vodka.
“Hell, yeah,” Hange hollered encouragingly.
“That’s what we’re here for, aren’t we?” Levi shrugged.
“Let me know if you need a ride home later,” Erwin said with a grin. “I’ll be the designated driver today.”
“You have a heart of gold.” Hange quickly squeezed Erwin into a hug before grabbing a cup for themself. “Bottoms up.”
Just like Levi, they downed their drink in a few gulps, hissing when they finished it.
Moblit and his friends grabbed a cup each too, but took careful sips of the liquid. The way their faces scrunched up spoke of how unused they were to drinking.
Grabbing another drink each, the group of friends left the kitchen, and Levi was able to breathe again. Being around the cause of his heartache was detrimental to his mood, so he gladly followed Hange to the living room. There, his friend mingled with the dancing crowd while he stayed on the sides. Moblit and the others were trying to keep up with Hange’s dance moves, so Levi was left alone to finish his drink. His cheeks had warmed up due to the alcohol and his thoughts had eased, barriers falling down and letting Eren’s image slip to the forefront of his mind.
His eyes scanned the crowd more and more quickly, immediately noticing when Eren stepped into the living room too. Even if it hadn’t been long since he had last seen him, Eren seemed drunker and when their gazes met, Eren’s was more vacant than before. Levi looked away with his skin heating up all the more, heartbeat speeding up as Eren’s image got burned into his retinas. Even a chance glance was able to turn his chest into a twirl of emotions, and not even the embarrassment he felt for it managed to calm them down. What he felt for Eren was too strong to submit to any other feeling and was hankering to be let loose and find release in Eren’s arms.
In a moment of clarity, Levi pulled the reins on his thoughts and after finishing his drink, he stepped outside. He needed some fresh air and a cigarette if he wanted to survive the night, so once he left through the back door, he looked for a quiet corner in Eld’s garden. People were hanging around almost everywhere, some more drunk than others, but Levi found a secluded spot behind the tool shed at the end of the garden. No one was going to bother him there, the music hardly reached his ears too and the only light came from the streetlamps.
He took out his cigarettes from the pocket of his jeans and lit one up, slowly taking a drag and huffing the smoke out of his nose. Levi wasn't a heavy smoker, but he did find it calming and calming himself down was what he needed the most now. He tried to free his mind as he looked up at the night’s sky, letting the ache in his chest disappear in the air with the vapor of his cigarette. So out in the open, a chill ran up his spine, so he hid his free hand inside the sleeve of his sweater and kept smoking, feeling less and less tense the more ashes fell on the ground.
After his first cigarette, he lit another one and remained behind the shed, simply enjoying the tranquility of the night.
His peace, however, lasted only for a couple of drags and before he knew it, a figure joined him in his solitude.
“What’cha doing here, beautiful?” Eren said.
Levi stared at him with the cigarette halfway to his mouth and wide eyes, unblinking.
“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Eren continued, leaning closer to Levi. A clear smell of alcohol reached Levi’s nostrils, and he quickly noted the unfocused gaze in his eyes.
“You got the wrong guy,” Levi told him, bringing the cigarette all the way up to his lips with a shaky hand. “You’re drunk.”
“No, I was looking for you, Levi.”
Although slurred, hearing his name come out of Eren’s mouth made Levi’s stomach twist in a knot. The ashes from his cigarette seemed to appear on his tongue, saliva drying up and words dying before reaching his throat. Levi could only stare at him, confused and speechless, smoke slowly eddying out of his nostrils.
“Smoking looks sexy on you,” Eren went on, eyes on Levi’s lips.
Levi was still at a loss for words, but had enough clarity to scan his surroundings. Was someone pulling a prank on him? Had someone figured out he had a crush on Eren and wanted to make him look like an ass? Did Eren think so little of him to agree to something like that? The idea sickened him, brows knitting in bitter resentment.
“What the hell do you want?” he said, dropping the remnants of his cigarette on the ground and putting it out with his shoe.
Eren shifted on his feet, inching closer to Levi. “It’s a nice day, isn’t it?”
“It’s fucking eleven p.m., Eren,” Levi retorted.
“Really? Your eyes are so bright it looks like day time.”
“Oh my God.” Levi rolled his sun-like eyes.
“It’s like two stars have fallen from the sky and ended up in your eyes.”
“What a poet.”
“They’re like two satellites pulling me in.”
“What kind of bullshit are you saying?” Levi stopped him. “These are the worst pick-up lines I’ve ever heard.”
“They always work,” Eren replied. His smile was so childishly proud that Levi couldn’t help but huff out a laugh.
“Maybe they work because you’re hot, not because you’re fucking Shakespeare.”
“As long as they work.” Eren shrugged as he stepped in front of Levi, hazy gaze flicking down to his lips.
Levi pressed his back against the wooden wall of the shed, heart pounding in his ears. “Are you using those shitty pick-up lines on me?”
Ever since Eren had found him, Levi had assumed this had been simply a misunderstanding. Drunk and under a dim light, Eren had mistaken him for someone else, a girl he had been hoping to hook up with or who had caught his attention. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought that Eren had actually looked for him. Until now, he hadn’t even been sure that Eren knew he existed and if he had, he had probably considered him Erwin’s brooding friend and nothing more. And yet, Eren’s face was inching closer to his own, his breath warming up his cheeks, the alcohol in it getting to Levi’s head.
“Yeah,” Eren confirmed. “Are they working?”
Levi blinked and blinked again. And again. Surely, at some point he had fallen asleep and missed an important part of the situation, the crucial moment in which Eren had told him this was a prank, that someone had dared him to hit on him, or that he had injured his head during the game and had forgotten that Levi was a guy. There couldn’t be any other explanation for his sudden interest in Levi otherwise, and Levi himself struggled to comprehend what had caused Eren to act this way because for as hard as his heart was pounding, he couldn't believe that his crush was requited.
“Your eyes really are pretty,” Eren mumbled, cupping Levi’s cheek. His touch was warm and soft, and Levi’s skin flushed a vermilion red under it.
“What…what are you doing?” Levi murmured back.
A knot was clogging his throat and he was getting dizzy from how much blood was getting pumped to his head. Being so close to Eren was detrimental to his health; he couldn't even breathe because of how much Eren’s presence was affecting him, and with thoughts escaping him, words had stopped making sense to him.
“I’m trying to kiss you.”
At this point, Levi was sure he had died or fallen asleep. His brain had effectively stopped working and his pulse had reached the point of cardiac arrest. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again when only an embarrassing gurgle left his throat. The sound, however, seemed to be enough for Eren and he leaned all the way down to press his lips on Levi’s.
Levi blankly stared at the night’s sky above Eren’s shoulder. Everything stilled for eternal moments, no sounds or sensations registered in his body, a total blankness that voided him of any kind of reaction. But just as quickly as the shock had come, so did the feelings he had for Eren. They surged up from the bottom of his heart, crashing through all the barriers Levi had put to contain the ache of a hopeless crush, and flooded to every inch of his being, infusing it with their sweetness.
Without thinking twice, Levi wrapped his arms around Eren’s shoulders and kissed him back. Eren’s lips were eager against his own, feverish and drunk, sloppy with their enthusiasm but it was the best kiss Levi had ever had. He melted into it, slumping against Eren’s chest while relief made him weak at the knees. Eren pressed him further back against the wall, hands sliding down Levi’s sides in a swift motion that caused shivers to shake Levi’s body. He rolled his tongue into Levi’s mouth, the taste of alcohol pungently reaching the back of Levi’s throat.
That was the only alarm that went off in Levi’s mind, the only warning that his brain gave to alert him that he was taking advantage of the situation, that Eren didn’t know what he was doing and that it was his responsibility as the semi-sober one to push him away and save him from making a mistake. But his heart was too weak, had been craving for Eren’s touch for too long to deny himself such a forbidden fruit. He didn't know why Eren was doing it, why he wanted to kiss him, but Levi didn’t need to know, he only needed to feel Eren’s lips against his own and his kiss taking all of his breath away.
He clung onto Eren more tightly, fingers curled around Eren’s hair and tongue chasing after Eren’s. A soft sigh left his lips, and an exhilarating buzz was floating in his blood. Eren squeezed his hips and then held Levi’s lower back with his hands spread. Levi shivered for how easily Eren’s palms covered his entire waist, a weak whimper erupting from his throat. Eren moaned back, kissing him even harder while his touch travelled down Levi’s body and fully covered his ass.
“Eren,” Levi couldn't help but groan, pushing himself up on his toes.
Eren latched himself onto Levi’s neck, leaving wet kisses on it before sucking the skin. Levi’s groin was quickly tightening, Eren’s hands kneading his ass helping only to arouse him all the more. He panted against Eren’s hair, digging his nails into the back of his shirt with half-lidded eyes. If the universe had taken pity on him and had allowed him this single moment with Eren, he was going to enjoy it to the fullest, to take all he could get with the greed of a desperate man and impress everything in his memory. It didn’t matter if Eren wasn’t going to remember this, if their encounter was going to hurt him in the morning and turn his heart into an even bigger field of broken pieces. No night spent dreaming about Eren’s touch could compare to the real thing, and he was going to indulge in it no matter the consequences.
But the time the universe had given him wasn’t long, and as Eren’s lips reached up to his own again, a distant sound of voices pierced through the veil that had engulfed them.
“Eren,” someone was calling. “Where are you, man?”
Levi pretended not to hear it and drowned himself into Eren’s kiss, trying to lose himself in the sea of relief in his veins, but to no avail.
“Eren!” the same voice shouted louder. “Are you okay?”
Panicking, Levi pushed Eren away. Eren’s lips, glistening with saliva, were open in confusion and his gaze was as clouded as before, but Levi’s mind had started working in an entirely different direction. What would Eren’s friends say if they saw him like this? What names would they call him if they caught them in the act? Eren was drunk and he had taken advantage of it. Guilt came flooding through him, a cold and red shame that shook him out of his trance.
“I need to go,” he said, breaking free from Eren’s embrace and running away, leaving Eren alone behind the tool shed without looking back.