Work Text:
I Am...I Said
The incubation tank opens. Wendy takes the towel, gathering the baby into her arms. She cleans his airways, and his cry is high and piercing. Turning, she gives Gerry a look, then looks up at the observation room. “He’s healthy, Director.”
“As we knew he would be. You two have done good work here.” The director leaves the observatory, leaving Wendy and Gerry to coo over the baby.
Keeping their backs to the cameras, Wendy whispers, “We have to do this tonight. We can’t let them do this, Gerry. It’s not right.”
“I agree.” He takes the baby, laying him on the bed. Pressing a few buttons, the computer starts scanning the baby. Wendy goes over, standing next to him. “Until then, we do everything they expect us to do.”
After feeding the baby, just after six, the nightshift doctors come in and Gerry guides Wendy out with a hand on her lower back. They take their separate cars home, then they each call a cab and meet at a restaurant in China Town. Inside, they take a booth at the back. To anyone, including SHIELD, it looks like two people on a date, who want privacy. SHIELD has a rule about dating, so the two scientists can call it that if caught.
“How are we going to do this?” Wendy knows what they have to do, but not how to pull it off.
Gerry pulls a small box out of his jacket. To an onlooker, it would appear to be a ring box. “We use this.”
Wendy opens the box and finds a small device that she’s only considered in theory. “How did you...”
“How I did it isn’t up for discussion. Just know that I did.” He leans in, like he’s going to kiss her cheek. Slipping an envelope into her jacket pocket. “Did you send your things ahead?” She nods and smiles for anyone watching. “Good. You know where to meet me later.”
They have a nice dinner, walk out of the restaurant holding hands, and part ways. At two, Wendy slips into clothes and takes a cab to the guard’s shack. Swiping the credentials Gerry gave her, she walks to the building where her lab is. Gerry is waiting outside. Placing the small device from earlier on the door, it overrides security. In the lab, they make an excuse of checking on their creation before knocking the two doctors out. Wendy throws bottles, formula and diapers in a bag, while Gerry wraps the baby in a blanket. The one thing that SHIELD believes is once you work for them, you’d never deviate from your allegiance. But for Wendy and Gerry, that lasted as long as it took for the two scientists to find out what they had planned for a baby.
As they disappear into the night, baby held close to Gerry’s chest, they know they’ll be killed if caught, but taking this chance is the least they can do for a baby that doesn’t know or care about the future SHIELD has for him. He may not be human, he may contain the technology that Gerry created, but he’s a baby and deserves a life.
They don’t stop running until they’re in California. The small house is in the name of George and Winifred Barnes, who have one son, James Buchanan Barnes, or Bucky. They covered their tracks using technology from SHIELD that they stole a year ago. If anyone comes for them, they’ll just run again. No matter what happens, they’re going to let Bucky have a normal life. They succeed, until agents raid their house one night, killing George, Winifred and Rebecca Barnes.
They start tracking the experiment, but don’t make a move until he’s in New York.
Bucky’s always been smarter than anyone else around him. His parents told him that it started almost immediately after birth; they knew he was different. His only friend, all his life, until five years ago, was his sister. Then, his parents and sister were killed in a home invasion and Bucky found himself alone. He’d never been alone before and it started him thinking about other family, maybe people he’d never known about. So, a few months ago, he decided to have his DNA tested to see if he had family anywhere.
According to his parents, there was no other family; it was just them and that was enough. In the back of his mind, he felt like his parents were hiding something. What it was, he never knew. Maybe their families didn’t want them to get married. Maybe they were abusive households. Bucky didn’t know. After a couple of years passed, after their death, Bucky looked into their lives, before he came along, and found nothing, so maybe there wasn’t anyone else, like they told him. It did seem odd that his parents just didn’t seem to exist before he was born. The DNA test was just a late-night musing of an overactive mind that missed his family.
Today, Bucky moves into his new apartment in New York. He’s been living in the suburbs of Los Angeles for as long as he can remember, which is a long time. His brain has never been like others. But something his mother said once, when she thought he was absorbed in his homework, stuck with him. ‘I really miss New York, George.’ So, at some point his parents lived on the East Coast. It gave Bucky something to investigate and he did. As a boy, he looked up things about The Big Apple and found that it was diverse, interesting, and always busy. He liked the idea of busy, like his mind.
Finding a job in New York wasn’t hard; not with his education and background. At 26, Bucky has four undergraduate degrees, two master’s degrees and a PhD in physics. All of those he’s had for the last three years. He wishes that his parents could see him now; they would be so proud. Becca would give him hell for doing nothing with his life except school.
Once the movers are done bringing his stuff in, Bucky sits on the floor, looking around at his new life. Tomorrow, he’s going to work for the first time, in a building that’s as famous as the man that built it. Tony Stark called him personally to welcome him to Stark Industries. Bucky happens to know that Stark doesn’t normally do that, but when a man is hired, that has an IQ higher than the owner, he made an exception.
Tonight, he orders pizza, sits on the floor until he can get furniture and watches the world outside. Halfway through his second slice, something happens. He remembers it happening when he was two, then four, then eight, at eleven, at fourteen and pretty much every two to three years, since he was born. He described it to his parents, and they shared a look. It was a look that Bucky later decided was ‘normal’ like they knew this would happen. Because they seemed unbothered by it, he was too. It hasn’t happened in a few years, so this isn’t unusual.
His brain stops.
Like it freezes up and nothing is computing. Eyes rolling back in his head, Bucky sits, unseeing and unable to move. It only lasts sixty seconds, or so, then he’s back to normal. His dad used to tell him that it was his body’s way of stopping his mind because it usually never stopped. The only oddity is that when his brain starts working again, it’s like it works faster than it did before.
With an IQ of 301, Bucky is alone. He’s sure there are others out there that are smart, genius level even, but no one on the planet has an IQ that high. It makes life lonely, not that Bucky wouldn’t like to have someone to spend time with, have a relationship even, but once he starts talking, they realize he’s not normal. The one thing that’s always made him separate, from even his family, is he’s never completely understood humor. His family were always laughing, telling jokes, teasing each other, but Bucky never got it. So, he spends his time studying, which is pointless because he usually knows it already.
Stepping up to the security desk the next morning, the woman that takes his ID smiles in what Bucky knows to be flirtatious. It’s not that he doesn’t recognize humor or flirting; it’s just that he doesn’t know how to respond to it. Checking him into the system, she hands the ID back. “Welcome to Stark Tower, Dr. Barnes.”
“Thank you.” Pocketing the ID, Bucky takes his employee badge.
“Do you need any help getting to your lab?” She’s hoping to get to spend a little more time with the extremely handsome doctor.
“Oh, no thank you. I’ve memorized the schematics of the building already.” He’s aware that the schematics he memorized don’t include the Avengers parts of the Tower, but it’s enough to know where he’s going. Heading to the elevators, Bucky steps inside.
‘Dr. Barnes, welcome. My name is JARVIS, I am Mr. Stark’s AI, and I am here to help in any way I can be of service.’
Bucky smiles up at the camera by the panel. “Thank you, JARVIS.”
He’s deposited on his floor and heads into the lab that’s been set up. Everything is exactly like he requested. Sitting his messenger bag on the chair, he begins pulling up the work he was hired to do. It’s early, so he knows that no one will disturb him for a while. Human interaction isn’t something he’s especially good at, so he hopes to be left to his work. He finds the work enthralling and JARVIS to be fascinating. He’s able to work in peace most of the day.
That holds true until mid-afternoon.
The doors open and Tony Stark strides in, carrying himself with a confidence that Bucky wishes he had. “JARVIS tells me you’ve been here, since 7, Barnes. What gives? You nervous about your first day and couldn’t sleep?”
Bucky tilts his head to the side, wondering if this is a joke or an honest question. “I don’t find myself nervous very often, Mr. Stark.”
Tony freezes, trying to figure out the guy that’s smarter than anyone else in the building, including Tony. “Uh...yeah.” Taking a seat across from Bucky’s workstation, Tony narrows his eyes, trying to decide how to approach this guy. “How are you finding everything?”
Bucky looks back at the screen. “I think you’re right about the arch technology, but you did invent it, so I assume you know more about it than anyone. Your problem isn’t the technology itself; it’s the matrix you created.” Tony seems shocked that someone, that just started today, would insult one of his creations. Before he can respond, Bucky continues talking. “You’re trying to run the matrix through JARVIS, which is admirable, but, in this case, the wrong idea. This matrix will be running a city-wide grid and needs to be independent of JARVIS.”
“Are you always this blatantly honest?” Bucky looks up, blue eyes neutral.
“I am. Will that be a problem?” Tony stands, coming around the workbench, poking Bucky in the cheek.
“You look so lifelike.” Tony grins and Bucky stands confused. “No, it absolutely will not be a problem.”
Bucky’s never been sick and since he never played sports, his parents never took him to a doctor. The only time that Bucky thinks he might need to go to Stark Industries Medical, is the day he boards the elevator in the lobby and finds himself sharing it with Captain America. Of course, Bucky’s known that the Avengers come and go at the Tower, but until now, he never saw any of them, except Iron Man.
Steve Rogers is perfect, physically; that Bucky knows. However, up close, he’s pretty. In all of Bucky’s life, no one has stood out as prettier than others. Bucky knows pretty when he sees it; he even accepts that, according to Becca, he himself is attractive. There’s just something about Captain Rogers that stands out. His eyes are blue, with little flecks of green, his nose is bent, just a little, but only adds to the perfection in its imperfection. Lips, framed by his beard, are plush and Bucky finds himself wanting to touch the bottom one and see if it feels like a pillow.
“Morning.” Bucky looks up, from under his lashes, trying to make sure that Captain Rogers is talking to him.
He sees the man looking at him. “Morning.” It’s mumbled through some unknown feeling in Bucky’s stomach.
Exiting the elevator, on his floor, Bucky heads to his lab. Sitting on the stool, he rubs his stomach and chest, wondering what this unusual feeling is. It flutters around inside, making him feel excited, but also nauseous. The longer he works, the feeling lessens. Shaking his head, Bucky decides that he ate the wrong thing for breakfast.
It’s a normal day besides that, until nearing lunch. Bucky’s so engrossed in his calculations that he doesn’t hear the door open. After two weeks working at SI, the only person that comes in is Tony, so that’s who Bucky thinks it is, when he registers someone in the lab.
‘Dr. Barnes, sir, I have contacted Mr. Stark for you.’
Not understanding what JARVIS means, Bucky looks up and finds six people in black suits, guns aimed at him. The door opens again, and Iron Man walks in, coming to stand in front of Bucky, gauntlets aimed at the people in suits. “I’m going to have to ask you to lower your weapons because I won’t be held responsible if you don’t.”
For the third time in less than five minutes, the door opens and another man in a black suit comes in. “Mr. Stark.” He looks at Bucky. “Dr. Barnes.”
Tony lowers the gauntlets. “Agent Coulson, you want to explain this. I gave you access to the building because Pepper likes you, but this isn’t okay.”
“Mr. Stark, we’re going to have to take Dr. Barnes into custody.” Bucky stands and all the guns come back up.
Tony doesn’t even hesitate and fires on the agents. They hit the ground, except for Agent Coulson. Looking around, Coulson shakes his head. “Was that really necessary?”
The mask flips up. “You came into my building and tried to take my best scientist, so yeah, Phil, it was.”
“I don’t understand.” Bucky looks around from one man to the other.
“Neither do I.” Tony looks back at Coulson. “Do you want to explain yourself now?”
“I told Fury this was the wrong way to handle this.” Coming to the workbench, Phil sits on the opposite stool. He looks at Bucky. “Three months ago, you did a DNA test.”
Bucky sits again. “Yes, I did.” It’s not that he’d forgotten about it; it simply wasn’t important enough to be at the forefront of his mind.
“It was red flagged by SHIELD because the results came back and...I don’t know how to say this, Dr. Barnes.” Coulson rubs his forehead.
Tony looks exasperated. “Just say it.”
He looks pained over at Bucky. “You aren’t human, Dr. Barnes.”
Tony watches Bucky, who’s sitting on the sofa in the penthouse, listening to everything that’s happening. He seems calm, like this isn’t new information, yet he seems confused too. Coulson is inserting something into the worktable in the middle of the room. The elevator opens. The Avengers file out. When Steve sees the pretty man from the elevator, he smiles.
“Tony, what’s going on?” Steve holds his response to Bucky’s presence in check for the time being.
Rubbing his hands down his face, Tony looks over at Phil. “Well, SHIELD stormed my building this afternoon, trying to take Dr. Barnes from his lab and Phil says that Barnes isn’t human.”
Everyone freezes, except Coulson. “That’s as close to the truth as I can tell you.”
“What do you mean, he’s not human?” Steve comes further into the room, looking between Phil and Bucky.
Pictures come up on the screen, causing Bucky to stand in surprise. Phil looks over at him. “Dr. Barnes, do you know these people?”
No one is moving, except Bucky, who goes to the screen. “Those are my parents, George and Winifred Barnes.” He tries not to be emotional, but seeing them moves him. Tears gather, so Bucky sighs, trying to control himself.
Phil pulls his lips into a thin line, shaking his head. Stepping over to Bucky, he looks into the man’s eyes. “No, they aren’t your parents. Those two people worked for SHIELD until March of 1998, when they disappeared with...you.”
The elevator opens again and Nick Fury walks in like he owns the place. “You weren’t authorized to reveal that to it.” When he says ‘it,’ Fury points at Bucky.
Steve turns, seeing Fury looking at Bucky with contempt. “Until we understand this situation, Director, you and Agent Coulson aren’t taking Dr. Barnes anywhere.”
“You think the Avengers can fight off all of SHIELD, Cap?” Steve looks over at Tony, giving a nod.
“JARVIS, you know what to do.” Before the words are completely out of his mouth, Stark Tower goes into the new lockdown protocol that Steve and Tony designed together.
In the few seconds it takes JARVIS to secure the Tower, emergency arch generators have kicked on, giving eerie red light to everything, the building’s exterior is now covered in panels that can withstand a nuclear blast. In this state, no one can get in or out, not even through the underground access that’s been sealed off. “I think we have a good chance, Fury.”
Fury pulls out his phone and finds that all communications are down. “What is this?”
Tony strolls over, standing next to Bucky. “The Avengers don’t work for you anymore, Nick, so we decided to take precautions. Now, you want to tell us what’s going on?”
Taking a deep, annoyed breath, Fury goes to the workbench. Bucky steps away, not wanting to be too close to the man. “SHIELD started a project in 1995. It took three years to get a viable result.” He points at Bucky. “Wendy Burrows and Gerry Baldwin were the scientists in charge of the project. It was supposed to be raised by SHIELD to be a super soldier, only with modifications.”
Clint rubs his forehead. “Whether you like it or not, Fury, calling Dr. Barnes an it, isn’t helping your case.”
“What do you expect me to call something that was grown in a lab?” Bucky goes closer to the table, leaning on it, trying to wrap his head around what he’s hearing. With all his vast intellect, this isn’t making sense. His parents weren’t his parents and if what he’s hearing it to be believed, he was grown in a lab and not his mother’s uterus.
“I expect you to show respect to a man that’s hearing the most farfetched story of his life.” Bucky turns, locking eyes with Steve. “Have a little respect.”
“Fine.” Coulson looks exceedingly uncomfortable with everything happening. Fury shakes his head in frustration. “Once the baby was extracted from the chamber, the two doctors ran with him. They changed their names and were able to hide from SHIELD.” He looks at Bucky. “You must know how different you are.”
Bucky shakes his head, looking around the room, pleading for help. “How different?”
“We used multiple stands of DNA, from things we’d collected over the decades, to build you into the perfect soldier. More intelligent that anyone on the planet.” Fury looks at the team. “I can’t really say what all was put into him, but I can say that calling him human isn’t accurate.”
Steve goes over, standing next to Bucky. “Well, no matter what SHIELD did to create him, he’s a person and will be treated with respect.”
“He’s property of SHIELD, Cap, and you’ll have to give him up to the organization that made him.” Fury stands, staring off against a stubbornness that he doesn’t understand.
Walking over, Steve stands toe to toe with Fury. “You try to take him from his life, and you’ll see just what I’m willing to do to protect him. You think SHIELD is invincible. I’ll show you how fast it can fall...again.”
“You really want to threaten me?” Steve steps an inch closer.
“First they came for the inhuman and I kicked their asses because I’ve read the rest of the fucking poem, Director.”
Steve watches Dr. Barnes, sitting on the exam table with the same look he remembers having after coming out of the chamber. After chasing down Dr. Erskine’s killer, when Steve had a chance to really look at himself, he remembers that look of ‘who am I.’ Everything he believed about himself growing up, what he knew to be the truth of what was going to be a short lifespan, then to look at himself and see the mountain that was Captain America. He’s had time to adjust, time to figure out who he is and what he wants. Dr. Barnes is just starting the process.
“What am I?” Those are the first words that Bucky’s said in the last couple of hours. When asked a question, he nods or shakes his head. This is the question he needs answered.
Before Tony can make some off-color remark, Steve goes over, sitting on the table next to Bucky. “You are who you believe you are.”
Looking over, Bucky doesn’t think that Steve understands his situation. “They said I wasn’t human.”
“You look human to me.” It’s so straightforward and honest, Bucky smiles. “No matter what anyone says, you’re Dr. Barnes and those two people that raised you and loved you, they were your parents.”
“They told me that I was different. That I would grow up to be something special.” He looks off at the screens that are running all the tests Tony and Bruce have been gathering. The rest of the Avengers sit around the lab. “Is everyone here to keep me contained?”
The pain Steve feels from that question shows on his face. There were those, back during the war, that did the same to him. “No, I think they’re here out of curiosity.”
Bucky looks over, calm expression on his face. “Are you here out of curiosity?”
Chuckling, Steve reaches over, rubbing Bucky’s back. “I’m here because I remember feeling like you do now. I remember people looking at me like I might explode or be taken over by some kind of rage. Made me feel like a bug under glass.”
Bucky settles into the physical contact that he hasn’t had since the night his parents and Becca died. They hugged him before he left the house and that was the last time that anyone touched Bucky, except for a handshake. “Can you call me Bucky?”
“I’d be proud to call you Bucky.” They sit, waiting on the results, and Bucky tells Steve about his family dying. About being alone but knowing that they were originally from New York. He talks about his education and graduating from high school at ten. He talks about his research and through it all, Steve just listens.
The rest of the Avengers watch, listening to everything being shared between two men that are held apart from everyone else. Tony and Bruce share glances each time a new result comes in. Whatever Wendy and Gerry created, then stole and raised, it’s not quite human, just like Fury said. JARVIS finally spits out the last of the results nearly five hours later. Bruce takes the tablet, pulling a stool over and sits. Bucky can see the look and knows that everything he thought he knew is about to end. Rolling the stool closer, Bruce pulls his glasses from his face, staring at Bucky.
“You’re not completely human.” The rest of the team gets up, coming over to stand next to Bruce.
“What does that mean?” Bruce hands the tablet over to Bucky, who starts going through the results.
All his schooling never prepared him for this. He wonders if his parents would have eventually told him. He suspects that they hoped he would just live his life. He believes that probably they were waiting for him to ask about how different his brain worked. Bucky never did because it didn’t matter. His parents loved him. His sister loved him, so that was all that mattered.
“We have to figure this out, Cap.” Steve turns in the elevator, Bucky standing next to him. Tony and Bruce have to find a way to keep all of this under wraps and the Avengers will need to come up with a plan to keep Bucky safe, if they decide to help.
Steve’s already made his decision, no matter what the team does. “We will figure everything out, but Dr. Barnes has been locked in the lab for hours and I think he needs to eat. God knows, I do.”
Before anyone else can say anything, the doors close and Steve reaches over, squeezing Bucky’s shoulder. “Thank you. I couldn’t stand the way they were looking at me.”
“Believe me when I tell you that each one of them has felt something similar at some point. They’ll process it, then they’ll treat you like anyone else.” Bucky looks up into Steve’s eyes. “I’m not saying that’s a good thing, by the way.”
Bucky’s sure that Steve means that literally, but also in a humorous way. “I need to process it too.”
“I’m sure you do.” They exit the elevator on Steve’s floor. “Now, what do you feel like eating?”
“I’m not sure I can eat.” Steve comes over, placing his hands on Bucky’s arms and that fluttering feeling is back.
Bucky steps away and Steve takes that to mean that he’s not comfortable with physical touch right now. Making a mental note, Steve steps away too, giving Bucky space. “I’m going to order a few things, and you can eat when and if you want.”
The apartment fills with silence that’s deafening until the food arrives. Once Bucky can smell it, his stomach starts to rumble. “I guess I am hungry.” Steve grins, spreading out the food.
They eat and the silence continues. “Can you explain to me what all of those results meant?”
Bucky looks up, seeing that Steve is curious. He also knows that Steve’s IQ is high, so this is just to get Bucky talking. "Those results confirmed what Director Fury was saying.” Steve nods for him to continue. “Basically, they used an egg from a donor, but instead of fertilizing it with human, male sperm, they used DNA they’d been collecting from other forms of life.”
“So...you’re human and alien?” Steve’s sure that he understood Bruce correctly. He just thinks that if Bucky can talk about it, he can process it better.
“That’s basically what it means. I don’t even know where they got alien DNA.” Steve thinks about Carol, Gamora, and a few others, wondering just how long aliens have been known by SHIELD. “There was one other thing though.” Before they left, Bruce pulled Bucky aside, having a private conversation with him. Something was serious enough that he didn’t want to say it in front of the team.
“You can tell me anything. I’m not going to look at you any different than I did earlier today in the elevator.” Bucky’s stomach swoops and he finds that he can’t eat anymore.
“You know that Mr. Stark has perfected nanotechnology.” Steve nods. “There seems to be some nanotech in me as well. It’s not Mr. Stark’s nanotechnology, it’s different.”
“It’s not dangerous to you, is it?” Steve wonders how this man can remain so calm knowing all of this.
“No, it’s why I’ve never seen a doctor. It repairs anything that might make me sick and also seems to be jumpstarting DNA strands. I think it’s been doing that my whole life.” Steve sits his plate aside.
“You’re telling me that you have nanotech that just lives in your body and fixes anything that goes wrong.” Standing, Steve goes to the windows, looking out at the night. “That’s what Fury meant by super soldier. You don’t have the serum; you have technology that would repair any injuries.” There’s again, silence. “Create a human/alien hybrid that can repair itself and you have someone that you can throw into any fight.”
Bucky gets up, going to stand next to Steve. “That’s what it looks like. I just can’t figure out why my parents did what they did.”
Steve huffs. “Because they were good people and knew what kind of life you would have with SHIELD. They took the opportunity to free you from that life.”
“Now that life has come to find me.”
In all of Bucky’s vast knowledge, he doesn’t understand why Steve’s presence causes him to feel more alien than the DNA that makes up who he is. If Becca were still alive, he would call her and ask her what this feeling is, but she’s not. Taking the problem to the internet, Bucky starts searching for answers to this mystery. He should be more concerned about what’s going to happen to him. Instead, he’s trying to figure out why Steve coming out of the bathroom earlier, in nothing but sleeping pants, made Bucky feel like he was going to pass out. For now, it’s easier to focus on this feeling he has with Steve around, than to think more about something he can’t change about himself.
Steve’s been in bed for hours and Bucky can’t sleep. Steve offered for him to stay here until they can figure out what to do. Bucky knows that Steve spoke to his team earlier. Through the closed bedroom door, he could hear Steve telling them that he’s not letting SHIELD get their hands on a man that has a right to live his life. That caused another swoop in Bucky’s stomach, so he’s sitting in the dark of the living room, searching for answers.
“Why does looking at another person cause my stomach to flutter?” As he’s typing, he’s reading the words out loud. The results that he gets shock him because he’s never had a physical reaction to anyone, yet according to the internet, Bucky’s attracted to Steve Rogers.
Sitting the tablet aside, Bucky gets up, pacing around like a caged animal. “Bucky?”
So caught in his own mind, Bucky didn’t hear the bedroom door open. Steve’s standing in the darkened living room, still not wearing a shirt. Bucky looks at the man’s chest and knows that the internet is correct. He’s attracted to Steve and that scares him more than what happened in the lab. Bucky can compartmentalize what he’s finding out about himself. What he can’t seem to put away in a neat little box in his brain, is his reaction to Steve.
His arms hang limply at his side, lowering his head, Bucky begins to cry. There are too many things bouncing around in his head and he can’t parcel out what any of it means. Steve’s in his space in seconds, offering a hug. Bucky falls into his arms, letting himself be held up. “I don’t know what to do.”
Steve pulls back, brushing Bucky’s hair from his face, looking into eyes that look lost. “Sssshhhh, sweetheart, you don’t have to figure anything out right now. You can stay here as long as you need to, while we decide what to do.” He pulls Bucky back to his chest and just holds him.
Stepping away, Bucky looks forlornly at Steve. “That’s not what I mean.” Steve crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for Bucky to explain. Bucky looks back at the floor, hands twisting in front of him. “My parents instilled in me a sense of who I am. I didn’t react like other kids. My sister tried to teach me things that seemed foreign to me, like relationships outside the family.” He looks back up at Steve. “I never understood why people wanted someone in their life like that. I was fine with just my family. Now, I find out that the reason I was always so different is because I’m not human entirely and for the first time in my life, I meet someone that I’d like to explore my humanity with...I think I’m too different now for that.”
“Bucky, anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.” Bucky takes a tentative step forward, while Steve stands his ground.
“Even you?” Everything that Bucky’s shared makes sense to Steve. The man, whose life just got turned upside down, is reaching out for something he doesn’t grasp.
Smiling, Steve holds out his hand, waiting for Bucky to take it. When he does, Steve pulls him closer. “I thought you’d never ask.”
Bucky wakes the next morning, warm and for the first time, since yesterday’s fiasco, he feels safe. Looking down, he sees Steve’s arm over his waist and the weight of it makes him smile. Steve pulled him to bed, after their conversation, calming Bucky with words and actions. Helping, he got Bucky into sleeping pants and bundled into the bed. As he drifted off to sleep, Bucky felt a kiss to the back of his neck and soft words whispered into his hair. “You’re safe here.”
Trying to get out of the bed, without disturbing Steve, the arm around his waist tightens, making Bucky smile in a way that feels foreign on his face. He’s never smiled for this reason before. “Where are you going?”
“I was going to the bathroom.” There’s a hoarse chuckle from behind him, making Bucky smiles more.
“I guess I can let you do that.” Steve, being who he is, was a perfect gentleman the night before, just letting Bucky’s body relax and rest like he needed. For the first time in his life, Bucky’s mind stopped for a night, letting him sleep without interruption. He should examine that more, but in his current, relaxed state, he doesn’t want to. Bucky should question why Steve’s being so nice and giving him a place to stay. He should be concerned about getting too comfortable here, with a man he doesn’t know.
Steve, for his part, is finding this new sleeping arrangement pleasant. As Bucky gets up, Steve rolls onto his back, putting everything from the waist up on display. Bucky pauses at the end of the bed, looking at the man and the sleepy smile he’s wearing. “Thank you for last night.” Bucky blushes, making Steve’s smile brighten. “I felt safe.”
“I’m going to keep you safe and if that means bringing down SHIELD, I will do it.” As he’s about to say more, JARVIS interrupts.
‘Sir, the Avengers would like to see you.’
Bucky heads into the bathroom, shutting the door with a quiet click. Steve sits up, pulling his knees up, arms resting on his knees. “Tell them they can come up, but if they want to turn Bucky over to SHIELD, they can go fuck themselves.”
There’s a snort from the bathroom. Bucky stares at himself in the mirror. In all of his life, he’s never snorted about anything before. For whatever reason, Steve Rogers wants to keep him safe and Bucky hasn’t fully internalized what he’s found out about himself, but being here, with Steve helps calm the restlessness. As he’s washing his hands, Bucky feels that sensation from a few weeks ago. He’s staring at himself in the mirror when his mind stops, everything freezes. His eyelids start to flutter and his eyes roll back. When he comes to, the answer hits like a freight train.
It’s his mind resetting.
Steve gets up, grabbing a T-shirt and goes to the kitchen to start some coffee. The elevator dings and Steve braces himself for whatever this is. The team comes in, looking around for Bucky. “Where’s my scientist?”
A throat clears behind them. They turn to find Bucky, wearing pajama pants and a shirt that they know is Steve’s. Going over, Steve stands next to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. He sees Bucky wringing his hands again, like he did the night before. Steve realizes that it’s not a nervous movement, but a way for Bucky to expend energy and think through his circumstances. “Should I clear out my lab?”
Bucky looks up, meeting his boss's eyes. “Why would you do that?”
“I’m not sure you want this kind of trouble at your company.” Steve’s arm tightens a little more, standing next to Bucky and also holding him up.
Tony laughs, shaking his head. “Kid, between the six of us, we’ve caused a lot more problems than this. We came up because we want to tell you that we’re protecting you no matter what anyone else wants.” Bucky looks up, gratitued shining in his eyes. “I would like to know why you slept here, where you slept, and why you’re wearing Cap’s clothes.”
“Tony.” There’s a warning in Steve’s voice. “He needed someplace safe, and this was the logical choice.”
Natasha smirks. “I’m going to assume the safest place for him to sleep was with you?”
Bruce steps forward, glaring at everyone except Steve and Bucky. “Look, I don’t care where anyone is sleeping, I want to talk to Bucky about his brain.”
Steve looks at Bruce, confused, then at Bucky, who seems scared. Leaning in, he whispers for just Bucky to hear. “Whatever it is, we face it together.” He looks at the team. “Bruce, Bucky and I are going in the living room. You are going to stay here, finish the coffee and fix breakfast.”
As they sit, Steve can hear Tony grumbling from the kitchen. Bruce seems more agitated than normal. His first question stuns Steve. “Bucky, I need to know if you’ve ever done anything that you couldn’t explain.”
Bucky looks at Steve, who shrugs. “Besides being smarter than anyone else, no.”
Bruce seems disappointed. “Bruce, what’s going on?”
Sitting again, he looks at Bucky. “Look, scientists have been debating how much of the brain that an average person uses. Some say no more than 20%, others say 100%. I know for a fact that you use all 100% and it’s constantly evolving.” He stands again, nervous. Bucky thinks back to the bathroom, to a few weeks ago, to when he was fifteen, to when he was eight, and sighs. “Bucky, I think before this is over, you’re going to be able to do things that aren’t normally human. Between the alien DNA and the nanotech, I don’t think there’s any other way for this to turn out.”
“What do you mean?” Bucky can’t imagine being any different that he already is.
"I wouldn’t be surprised if you started showing abilities.” Bruce stares at Bucky. “I think the nanotech is turning on things in your body and brain.”
There’s a crash in the kitchen and Tony comes storming out. “WHAT?”
The rest of the team follows Tony, also looking stunned. Bucky edges into the corner of the sofa, so Steve stands, holding out his arms. “Everyone stop!” They freeze and he sits, pulling Bucky into his arms. “You’re not alone. I’m here.”
Throwing himself from Steve’s arms, Bucky stands, backstepping away from everyone. It’s one thing for Bucky to speculate on things, but it’s another to have Bruce confirm them. “You’ve known me for one day! How can you say that you’ll be here, when you don’t even know me! And what’s that going to be like if I suddenly can start moving things with just a thought, Steve! You still going to be there when that freakshow happens!” Bucky’s never felt this emotional before. He’s never lashed out like this. So many people, teachers and professors especially commented on Bucky’s even temper. Never losing himself to emotions.
Before he knows what’s happening, Steve’s got his arms around him again, and he’s being kissed like the super soldier means business. When the kiss ends, Steve rests his forehead against Bucky’s. “I’ve known you for one day and I know that I’ll protect you against anyone that comes for you: friend or SHIELD.”
Pressing his fingers to his lips, Bucky’s caught up in a new feeling: one that’s big and scary. "You kissed me."
There’s a quiet chuckle from Steve and a few others. "Yeah, I did, and I’ll do it again if you’re okay with that.”
He looks up with a brilliant smile. “Yeah, I’d like that.” The swooping feeling in his stomach makes Bucky feel things he’s never recognized before. He’s also pleased to find out that Steve’s bottom lip is just like a pillow: soft and plush. “Are you sure though? I mean, considering what Dr. Banner just said, I could start to change.” Then his scientist mind kicks into gear. “Wait, how do you know that the nanotech might do to me?”
Bruce looks around at everyone, flushing because he knows that Tony will be upset that he didn’t include him. “I didn’t sleep last night because something about all the tests were bothering me.” He does get a look from Tony. “I started with the tissue samples and had JARVIS monitor them.” He shrugs. “I was right, they’re constantly evolving. I checked the blood samples again and found that the nanotech is also constantly rebuilding your body.”
Bucky narrows his eyes, letting everything find a logical place in his mind. “So, whatever I am, it hasn’t stopped.” Bruce nods. “Will I change physically?”
“I can’t say if it will change your appearance. I’ve never seen anything like this.” He looks around, pulling his glasses off. “I’m just speculating here, but I’d say this is what your parents were afraid of. Without a lab, they couldn’t check. I’m betting they knew though and watched you more carefully for the changes that might come.”
“My cells are changing, and the nanotech is rebuilding things, so it’s a safe bet that they had to know that something could happen.” Bruce nods. “What do we do about this? Is there any way to stop the changes?”
Bruce walks over, putting a hand on Bucky’s arm. “Not to upset you, but I don’t think we can stop what your unusual body is doing. Whatever is happening, it’s just who you are.”
Bucky turns, afraid to meet Steve’s eyes. When he finally looks up, Steve’s staring at him with a determined look. “Not goin anywhere, Buck.”
Bucky spends the next few days working in his lab, thinking and processing everything he’s learned. When he finds himself unable to concentrate, he opens the files that Bruce set up. He goes through everything, looking at the DNA strands that don’t match anything on Earth. He watches as the nanotech rewrites his system, wishing that he could see the rhyme or reason for what they’re doing. He has no frame of reference for anything he’s seeing because these things are a science that isn’t mainstream. He wishes that he could ask his parents. They did this; they created him, so what he is, only his parents and SHIELD understands.
At night, he goes back to Steve’s floor, showers and crawls into bed with a man that wraps around him and makes him feel safe. They don’t talk about what’s happening and Steve seems fine with that. Bucky suspects that Steve’s processing as well. It doesn’t stop how Steve treats him. The man seems determined that the guy he said good morning to, in the elevator, is still just a man. It’s so far from Bucky’s current truth, yet Steve still cuddles up with him like it truly doesn’t make a difference.
Steve watches Bucky, waiting for a sign that he’s ready to talk about everything. Instead of forcing a conversation, Steve talks to Bucky about what he’s working on for Tony. It’s a safe topic and one that Bucky feels comfortable with. Until he feels good about everything else, Steve’s going to leave it alone. At night, he holds Bucky against him, reminding him that nothing can hurt him. Tony sent Natasha and Clint to Bucky’s apartment, instructing them on things to bring back. He’s got clothes now and a few books that he wanted here. The only other thing that he asked them to get was a photo album of his family.
The safety that Bucky’s been feeling comes to an abrupt stop after nearly three weeks. The Avengers are needed and Steve has to leave. Bucky’s left at the Tower as the team leaves. He watches as the jet takes off and breathes through the anxiety that he’s feeling. Going back to his lab, Bucky emerses himself in his work.
Two days comes and goes. Then three days. On the morning of the fourth day, Bucky’s back in the lab, trying to work through an issue that Tony gave him to solve. He’s building a matrix for the arch reactor when he feels that sensation again. “JARVIS, monitor my vitals.”
‘Might I inquire...’ Before he can finish, Bucky’s eyes roll back, his brain shuts down, and his knees buckle. With the Avengers gone, JARVIS makes the executive decision to involve someone not on the team. ‘Ms. Potts, report to Lab-Alpha 2. Emergency, Ms. Potts.’
Once informed of Dr. Barnes’s unique circumstances, Pepper has Bucky taken to Dr. Cho, who is given the files on Bucky by JARVIS. “You’re telling me that he’s not human? He’s alien?”
JARVIS presents the facts as he understands them. ‘Dr. Cho, Dr. Barnes is a hybrid of a human ovum and alien DNA. With Dr. Banner gone, it is imperative that SHIELD not be given information.’
Helen runs tests and finds that Bucky appears to be in a coma. “Do we know what caused this?”
JARVIS brings up the footage from the lab. ‘He asked me to monitor his vitals, then this happened.’ She sees what happened in the lab and deduces that if Bucky asked to be monitored, then he knew what was coming. She surmises that Dr. Barnes has had this happen before. Stepping closer to the screen, Helen watches the reaction again.
“What the hell is this?” The vitals, during the reaction, spike well above anything she’s seen in a human having a seizure. “JARVIS, I need a brain scan."
For hours, she goes over everything that Dr. Banner discovered, with notes from Mr. Stark. Handing the tablet over to her assistant, Helen shakes her head. “Doctor, am I reading this right? This man isn’t human?”
“Yeah, that seems to be what we’re dealing with.” She points at the tablet. “According to the notes, SHIELD wants this guy back and it’s our job to make sure that doesn’t happen. Keep everything coded and isolated in JARVIS.” The assistant nods.
She takes blood, watching under magnification, what the nanotech is doing. On the second day, an alarm sounds, and Helen goes to check. What she finds is disturbing. The nanotech is sending electrical pulses into the DNA strands that haven’t already been activated. They also seem to be boosting his white blood cells. She’d call it mutating, but suspects that this was always what was going to happen.
“JARVIS, keep these readings going. I think Dr. Barnes is evolving.” By the time the Avengers return, Bucky’s been in a coma for close to two weeks. The changes that are visible are striking. The changes that aren’t visible are alarming.
When the team arrives back at the Tower, JARVIS is unsure who he should contact. Deep in his algorithm he understands that Dr. Banner is the logical choice, but in what he can only call instinct, he decides on a different choice.
‘Captain Rogers, please report to Dr. Cho’s laboratory.’
Sitting the shield down, Steve sighs, shoulders slumped from exhaustion. “JARVIS, is everything okay?”
‘Sir, Dr. Barnes has been in a coma for some time, and it would be best if Dr. Cho explains the current situation.’
Taking off at a run, Steve makes it down to the lab. As the doors open, he sees Bucky, lying in a bed, machines beeping around him. “Buck?”
Helen comes into view and Steve looks at her with a pained expression. “Captain, I wasn’t expecting you.” Steve stumbles to the bed, looking down at Bucky and the changes that have happened to him. Helen starts explaining what she knows. “He had some sort of seizure in his lab and passed out. He’s been in a coma for weeks and the changes you see have been evolving over that time. As far as I can tell, the nanotech has been booting some of the alien DNA strands.”
Steve turns, ready to ask more questions, when the door opens, and Bruce comes in with Tony. Both men look as exhausted as Steve, but, like Steve, understand how important all of this is. “JARVIS filled us in. What can you tell us?” Bruce is looking at Helen, then looks over at the bed. “What the hell?”
Steve pulls up a stool, taking Bucky’s hand, kissing the knuckles. “Hey Buck, you wanna wake up for me?”
Helen starts explaining everything to Bruce and Tony. “I’ve hypothesized that these seizures have been happening throughout Dr. Barnes’s life. The readings from the seizure show unusual readings from his brain, like it’s rebooting.”
“What does that mean?” Tony steps closer to the bed, looking at Bucky’s change.
“I think it means that he was always going to do this.” Helen waves at the bed. “JARVIS said that Director Fury called him a super soldier without the serum. I think that’s what we’re seeing. His body has enhanced much like Captain Rogers, due to the technology inherent in his system.”
Steve looks at the muscles that Bucky didn’t have before. He’s big, as big as Steve. His long hair is passed his shoulders now, still waves of softness, but longer. He doesn’t look young anymore; he looks like he’s seen too much and been through even more. That youthful innocence written in his soft face is gone, replaced with lines etched into the area around his eyes and in his forehead. Turning to the others, Steve hangs onto Bucky’s hand. “What is the nanotech doing now?”
Helen shakes her head. “Nothing. After jump starting the DNA strands, the nanotech went dormant. It’s still there, probably waiting for an injury to fix, but nothing else has happened.”
Turning back to Bucky, Steve kisses his hand again. “Come on, Buck. You gotta come back now.”
By the time evening comes, the rest of the Avengers are in the lab too. Everyone, except Steve, is pacing around, waiting. Bruce and Tony go over everything with Helen, while Steve stays next to the bed, holding his friend’s hand. Just after ten, Steve jumps to his feet when Bucky squeezes his hand. “Buck?” Reaching over, Steve brushes Bucky’s hair away from his face. “Wake up for me now. You can do it. Please, Bucky, wake up.”
His eyes flutter open, locking with Steve’s. “Steve?” Helen and Bruce come to the bed. Bucky looks around, confused. “Where am I?”
“Dr. Barnes, you’re in my lab. I’m Dr. Cho. With Dr. Banner gone, JARVIS and Ms. Potts had you brought here.” Looking back at Steve, Bucky seems panicked.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Steve reaches up, caressing Bucky’s cheek. “It’s okay. Everything is okay.”
“I don’t feel...something’s...what happened?” Bruce comes closer, trying to smile. Bucky knows something is wrong.
“Bucky, have you had seizures before?” Everything from the day in his lab comes back and Bucky looks from Bruce to Steve.
“I’ve had them my whole life.” He starts to sit up. “It’s like my brain stops working for about a minute, then everything’s fine.” He looks at Steve. “Why?” Before anyone can answer, Bucky looks at his arms, then down at his chest. “What the hell happened to me?”
“Barnes, you’re going to need to calm down.” Natasha’s stepped over to the bed, just in case something violent happens. They don’t know what else might have been changed.
Steve’s aware of what she’s thinking and doesn’t hide the glare. Helping Bucky from the bed, Steve helps him over to a reflective surface. “You’ve been in a coma while the nanotech has been changing you.”
Bucky stares in the mirrored door, taking in everything that’s been done. Reaching up, he runs his hands over the scruff on his face. “Steve, how long have I been in a coma?”
“According to Dr. Cho, a few weeks.” Turning, Bucky throws himself into Steve’s arms. They’re at an even height now, one just as bulky as the other. Steve doesn’t even hesitate, wrapping his arms about this new version of Bucky. They still fit; just like before. “I’ve got ya, Buck. I’m right here.”
“I don’t understand any of this.” His eyes are clinched shut and his mind is working at a pace that he’s finding difficult to keep up with.
Tony shakes his head. “JARVIS, order Dr. Barnes some new clothes.” Everyone except Steve and Bucky look over at him. “What? Either we get him a new wardrobe or he’s gonna steal all Cap’s clothes.”
Bucky knows, as sure as he’s sitting on Steve’s sofa, that his brain has been rewired again. It’s not just that it seems to be overflowing with too many thoughts, it’s that it’s all making sense now. Before, he would have times that he couldn’t keep up with what his brain was doing. He’d eventually line everything up in a neat little row, separating out what he needed to know and do. Now, it’s like he doesn’t have to stop and breathe to make everything make sense. There is no logical order. It’s all there, for him to see.
Looking around, he takes in everything that he’s seen before, but now, there’s something different about it. His eyesight is different, changed. It’s early morning; the sun is coming up, and Bucky can see all the different colors in the light pouring through the window. He can see how the glass bends the light to its will. The particles, in the sunlight, dance in a way that Bucky understands now.
When Steve sits the coffee cup next to him on the table, Bucky stares at the liquid like he’s never seen it before. Not only can he see the ripples, he understands the vibration. Whatever the nanotech did to him, he’s never going to be the same. Suddenly, he looks up, seeing Steve’s gaze and the flecks of green in the man’s eyes is mesmerizing. Everything Bucky thought was pretty about Steve before, he now sees true beauty.
“You’re beautiful.” Steve blushes furiously, chuckling in a nervous way. Bucky finds it charming. Thoughts flit through his mind. All those ‘lessons’ that Becca tried to teach him about other people, flirting, conversation; they all make sense now.
“Thanks, Buck.” Sitting on the table, staring into Bucky’s eyes, Steve may be embarrassed, but he’s never going to back down. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“I can’t explain it, Steve. Something’s different.” Leaning over, Bucky looks at the floor, wishing he could make Steve understand. Blowing out a deep breath, Bucky pokes his tongue out, touching his upper lip. “Before, I would get overwhelmed by how fast my brain worked. You know?” Steve nods. “Now, it’s like everything makes sense. My vision is different. I can hear things several floors away. The nanotech dialed everything up to a thousand.”
Steve huffs, shaking his head. “Welcome to my world.” Reaching out, Bucky takes Steve’s hands, begging for an explanation. “I still get overwhelmed sometimes when there’s too much input, but mostly I’ve learned to filter everything.”
Narrowing his eyes, Bucky wonders why he never asked Steve this question. “What is your IQ, Steve?”
Looking away, new flush to his skin, Steve starts to get up; trying to walk away to protect himself. No one beside Howard ever knew about it, so Steve just never brought it up. Bucky’s hold on him is firm, almost like he could hold Steve in place. There’s something exhilarating about that. “No one here knows, Bucky. Howard Stark left it out of the files because he didn’t want them using me anymore than they already were.” Turning pleading eyes to Bucky, who nods. It will be their secret. “It was high before the serum, but after it went up to 250.”
Bucky’s mouth hangs open for a couple of seconds, then he starts to giggle. “You’re a genius and everyone treats you like you don’t understand.” He giggles more, causing Steve to grin. As big as he is now, his giggling seems to amuse Steve. “Stark talks about you like you’re just a big battering ram and you’re a damn genius.”
Steve starts to snigger, which causes Bucky to laugh more, making Steve laugh more. Giving an embarrassed shrug, Steve plays it off. “I mean, I’m not as smart as you, but something tells me no one is as smart as you.”
Bucky throws himself into Steve’s arms, holding on to keep himself together. “I’m gonna go shower, you need to do the same.” Leaning away, he smiles at Steve. “Then we’re gonna eat something because I’m starving, and I’m gonna explain what I understand to you.” Giving a nod, they head off to their respective bathrooms.
Years ago, when Tony designed Stark Tower, the foundation had to be deep; deep enough to support the building that he envisioned. He also wanted to protect his people; everyone that worked in the building knew about the tunnels. It was part of their welcome package when they start working for Stark. It’s also on the NDA they sign as a Stark employee. In case of a structural issue, or, as he knows now, the threat of aliens led by a Norse God, the tunnels are for escape. They stretch across blocks, under the city, leading to an exit in a drainage tunnel in Central Park. Today, that tunnel is being used by people that shouldn’t know about it.
JARVIS, ever vigilant in protecting the Tower and the people inside, scans through communications, determining if Mr. Stark is using the tunnels for an Avengers exercise or a company drill. He’s sure there isn’t because those usually go through him, but JARVIS is thorough. When he finds no such orders, he sounds the alarm, sealing off the tunnel. Unfortunately, not before some of the intruders make it into the building.
“Alright, let me see if I have this straight.” Bucky smirks over at Steve, who’s been working with Bucky in his lab. Now that Bucky knows just how smart Steve is, he likes to drag him into his lab. “The nanotech sent an electrical charge into the DNA strands that aren’t human. By doing that, it, in effect, turned those strands on. That’s what made you bigger.” Bucky nods. “They also shut down your systems, so these changes wouldn’t be painful. You’re telling me that these little bugs in you are sentient.”
Bucky snorts at Steve’s description. “No, not sentient. Think of them like your shield. They protected me through the process that they jump started.” Steve spins on the stool.
“Your body’s weirder than mine.” He halts the circles, leering at Bucky. “Not that I mind. You’re the smartest person on the planet and not that you weren’t before, but you are hot .”
“Well maybe, Captain Rogers, you might want to do a little exploring...finally.” Steve’s bark of laughter is interrupted by the alarm.
Jumping to his feet, Steve changes from carefree to Captain America. “JARVIS, report!”
‘Intruders in the building, Captain. I have informed the rest of the team.’
By the time Steve and Bucky get to the conference room, they hear Tony say, “Lock the whole thing down, JARVIS. They may have gotten in, but they’re not getting out.” So, not only is the tunnel level shut down, JARVIS secures the entire building, evacuating certain floors. The panels cover the outside of the building, the arch generators kick on, giving all areas the eerie red glow and communications go offline unless through JARVIS.
“What do we have?” Tony points at the screen, where Steve can see heavily armed people, dressed similarly to the old Strike Team. “This is Fury.”
“Yeah, not only that, but it seems that they know about Barnes’s newest upgrade because of an assistant that works for Cho.” That causes Steve to growl. “The building is locked down. JARVIS blocked the escape tunnel before all of them could get through. The ones inside, can’t get out.”
“Everyone get suited up. We’re taking them and holding them. Fury started the war, but it’s not going to end the way he thinks.” He looks over at Bucky and sees how SHIELD could take away someone that Steve’s started to care about in a way that he wasn’t sure would ever happen.
“I’m in this too, Steve.” Before Steve can reject the idea, Bucky goes over, pulling him into a hug. “Listen to me, this is about me and if anyone in this room has a reason to make a stand, it’s me. They want this war, then I’ll show them what my parents designed me to do.”
Nodding, but still not liking it, Steve looks over at Tony. “Do we have something he can wear?”
Tony smirks. “It’s like you don’t even know me, Cap.”
Bucky ends up in a uniform with a blue jacket, lined with material that repels just about anything SHIELD might use, his pants are brown and the boots mold to his feet, lacing themselves up. Going into the armory, Clint watches as Bucky loads himself down with knives. Knives go into his belt and into his boots that loosen, then mold back around the knife.
“Uh...dude, are you sure you know how to use those?” Bucky winks over at him.
“Watch me.”
Steve checks the video feed again, seeing that the intruders have separated, moving onto different floors. Unknown to them, JARVIS has been guiding them under orders from Tony. He’s put them exactly where the team wants them. Luckily, Tony has moved all of his non-combatant employees to floors that can’t be accessed by this group. “What’s the play, Cap?”
Turning, he sees everyone waiting for orders. He’s not expecting to take one look at Bucky and wants to peel the clothes off him. He looks incredible and capable. Clearing his throat, he gets a sweet, innocent smile from Bucky, and knows it’s meant to add to his discomfort. “I don’t want anyone going it alone. But I also don’t want Bruce involved in this, since Hulk could do more damage than we want. So, Bruce, you’re staying here. Monitor us at all times.” JARVIS changes the screen to six different views. Each of them shows the intruders. “No one turns off their comm, we stay connected. Tony, take Thor with you. Natasha, you and Clint stay together.” He knows they’ll split up, but that’s usually so Clint can go high and protect her from behind. “Bucky, you’re with me.”
“Yeah, that seems convenient.” Steve shoots a glare at Tony.
Before anyone can move, Tony opens a case on the workbench. “What is this?”
Clint doesn’t like putting anything over his eyes, so he’s unsure when he looks at Tony. “These are like night vision goggles, but better.” Everyone takes a pair. “The floors they’re on; we’re going to turn everything off.”
“Yes Tony, but what if they have goggles too?” Natasha looks at the equipment, shaking her head.
“It’s like you have no confidence in me, Romanov.” Nat smirks over at him. “These are better because they don’t react when a flash bang goes off. They shield the eyes completely. Also, when I say we’re turning everything off, I mean pitch black off. Their goggles need a little light to function, and I know this because I designed them for SHIELD. These,” he indicates the new ones, “need zero light.”
Bucky picks up a pair, putting them on. “At least they’re fashionable.”
Clint and Thor snort, also putting the goggles on. Tony huffs. “Barnes, your gay is showing.”
Leaning in, Bucky kisses Steve. “It’s been showing, Stark.”
JARVIS shuts off all power to the floors where the intruders are located. He also locks those floors down, making their escape impossible. As they move through the darkness, Tony and Thor headed up, Steve and Bucky headed down, and Clint and Natasha staying at the door to the middle floor. The plan is to wait for the other two pairs to be in place before exiting the stairwell onto the assigned floor. They know that there are twelve intruders total, four on each floor. Steve gives the command when everyone is in place, they put on the goggles and JARVIS shuts down the lights in the stairwell, so the intruders don’t see the light from the door. Entering their floor, Steve looks over at Bucky. Since the coma, he’s different. Almost like all the social graces that he didn’t know before, he does now. Like the nanotech turned on all the etiquette that’s been stored in Bucky’s brain. He moves with a grace and prowess that comes from years of training. Steve doesn’t understand any of this, not from a soldier’s point of view.
Tapping Bucky’s arm, Steve knows that he has to trust that they can do this as a team. Looking over, Bucky nods, breaking away from Steve and heading to the far end of the floor. The protective panels are covering the windows, making the floor completely black, but Tony’s goggles work exactly like he designed them to. Steve watches how Bucky moves through the room, skirting past the men that don’t seem to know they’re there.
Through the comms, Steve hears a yelp, but it’s distant. There’s a morse code message from Natasha that Clint’s in the rafters and having a great time shooting the intruders in the ass. Steve hears a noise, looking over where Bucky is. This man, that’s become so important to Steve’s wellbeing and life, is holding in a snigger.
Then, with the precision of an assassin, a knife goes flying by Steve’s head, embedding itself in one of the intruders that was getting too close to Steve’s position. Spinning, Steve catches the guy before he can hit the ground and alert the others. Whatever that nanotech did, it made Bucky deadly and Steve’s a little turned on by that.
Taking a deep breath, Steve gives the signal to attack.
Once they engage, the intruders stand no chance. There’s grunting, screaming and the dull thud as bodies hit the floors. With the help of security, they drag the bodies to the communal floor, tying up those that are still breathing and laying out the ones that aren’t. Tony goes to the table, bringing up the screen. JARVIS connects the Avengers to the channel that the intruders were on. Fury’s face comes up on screen.
“Director, we’d like to thank you for the gift you sent, but we’re going to have to refuse the kindness and sent it back to you.” Tony steps aside, so Fury can see the men and women on the floor.
“Stark, this could cause some serious trouble for you.” Tony grins, knowing that it will just piss the man off more.
Steve steps into frame. “I did tell you that I’d kick their asses.” Before Fury can comment, Steve keeps going. “As many as you can send, we can take care of. If you send anymore though, I will come down to that building you have in Florida and tear it to the ground.”
“Captain Rogers, you shouldn’t go around threatening to tear anything to the ground, especially when you aren’t supposed to know about it.” He’s trying to remain calm, but his eye twitches when Steve brings up the headquarters that Fury’s been working out of.
Tony leans on the table, smug grin on his face. “Do you really think you can set up a new organization and we aren’t going to know about it?”
“All you have to do is turn Dr. Barnes over to me and this will all go away, or we’ll just keep coming for him.” Bucky snorts, stepping over next to Steve. He sees the stunned look on Fury’s face at his appearance.
“Well, Director, since all the DNA has been activated, I wouldn’t recommend that. Everything I was created to do, I can do now. That means, taking me in, would not be in your best interest because I can think for myself, thanks to my parents, and I’ll be right next to Cap tearing down your organization.” Fury looks the man over, knowing that he’s taking on more than he can actually handle. They cut the transmission. Steve turns to Bucky. “What do you think he’ll do now?”
Natasha chuckles, grabbing Clint and heading to the kitchen. “I think he’ll think twice before sending anyone else into this building.”
Tony sighs. “I do think we need to consider that you won’t be in this building all the time. Every time you go home, you’ll have to wonder if someone is following you or waiting at home for you.”
Steve gives a half-hearted shrug. “He could just move in here.”
Bucky turns, grinning at Steve. “For my protection, right?”
“Yeah, of course. There’s no other reason.” That causes everyone to laugh as they follow Nat and Clint to the kitchen.
Tony looks back over at the intruders. “Oh, uh, JARVIS, can you get security a vehicle big enough to take these people back to their boss?”
‘Of course, sir.’
Steve is leaning on the wall of the shower, water running over his head, thinking about what Bucky was like in the attack. He watched the man fling himself over furniture, kicking one assailant, then wrapping his ankles around another one, and twisting the man’s neck until it snapped. Whatever Bucky’s parents did to him in creation, made him a weapon, one that Steve wants to cuddle. Some people see Steve as a weapon and the only person that truly understands that is Bucky.
As the water slides over the planes of his body, Steve sees himself getting aroused. “I have a problem.”
The shower door opens and arms slip around his waist. “Oh? What’s that, Steve?”
Closing his eyes, Steve wonders if saying the words to Bucky is a good idea. Feeling the man, naked, against his back, makes the issue much more prominent. “Your abilities are a turn on, Buck.”
There’s a deep chuckle from the man, clinging to Steve’s back. “I don’t really see that as a problem.” Pushing his hips into Steve, where he’s just as aroused. Laying kisses along Steve’s shoulders and back, Bucky hums. “I’ve been standing in the doorway watching you and, as you can feel, I’m right there with you.”
“Leaning back, into Bucky, Steve puts his arms over the ones around his waist. “I want you to live here because I want to see you as much as possible.”
“And that’s why I told Tony yes to the offer.” Turning Steve, Bucky searches his eyes. “I understand now, Steve. Things I didn’t know before, I know now.” That gets a head tilt, questioning what he means. “I’ve been experiencing things my whole life that I didn’t understand: feelings, responses, humor. I get it now and if you’re offering, I’d like to be with you for a long time. You get me, Steve. Your experiences make your life compatible with mine.”
Reaching up, he moves Bucky’s hair. “What do you mean, Bucky?”
That gets a grin because he knows that Steve needs to hear it. “I mean that I love you, Steve.”
Steve rests his forehead against Bucky’s shoulder. Shoulders that are just as strong as his own. “I love you too, Buck.”
Six months after the intruders:
A small package arrives at the Tower, addressed to Dr. James Barnes. After scanning it, JARVIS finds that it’s a flash drive. After viewing the contents, he deems it harmless, yet urgent. There’s no return address on the envelope, but he suspects that it’s from someone at the new SHIELD facility. He just can’t fathom who would send this with the letter of explanation.
Bucky takes the envelope from the security guard that brought it up, knowing that it’s safe. Nothing comes to him that JARVIS doesn’t examine with the dedication of a bloodhound during a hunt. Opening the letter, Bucky sits heavily in the chair and asks JARVIS to get Steve. When he arrives, he’s not alone. Since the incident, as Clint calls it, Bucky’s been fighting as part of the Avengers. It was a calculated decision because if he’s considered a hero, then disappears, people will start to ask questions. Questions that SHIELD doesn’t want to answer.
Coming to the desk, Steve kneels, seeing Bucky’s teary eyes. “Baby, what’s going on?”
Looking into Steve’s eyes, Bucky hands the letter over. “SHIELD killed my parents. Hydra SHIELD, but still SHIELD.”
Taking the letter, Steve starts reading aloud, so the team understands what’s going on. They’ve become family with an appreciation of all the differences that make them work, when they shouldn’t. Natasha goes over, taking Bucky’s hand as Steve reads.
‘Dr. Barnes,
I struggled with whether you needed to see this. There are those that have turned your life upside down and things that we had no control over. Director Fury knows that I’m sending this letter to you and after you’ve done so much good for this world, before and after working with the Avengers, I believe you deserve this. Enclosed you will find a mission number. If you give it to Mr. Stark, you’ll be able to read what happened the night your parents and sister died.
Please know, Director Fury never would have approved the mission. He may be a bastard sometimes, but he’s a moral bastard. Coming for you, it was what he believed, truly believed, to be in the best interest of the country. After working with the Avengers, he believes you are exactly where you should be.
This drive was found among your parents’ possessions. I think it belongs to you.
Thank you for your service,
Agent Phi Coulson’
Bucky hands the flash drive over, nodding for Steve to plug it in. The rest of the team sits down, facing the screen and lending support. Steve sits in a chair next to Bucky, taking his hand and kissing it. “Whatever it is, we’re in this together.”
The screen comes to life, automatically playing the video. Bucky sucks in a breath when he sees his parents. Winifred Barnes touches the screen, like she’s trying to touch her son. The tears that were threatening, fall on Bucky’s cheeks.
‘Hey, sweet boy.’ There’s a sob from Bucky. ‘If you’re watching this, your dad and I are gone. We always knew that this day could come and want to make sure you understand your life and the future we wanted you to have.’ The chair next to her pulls out and George sits next to his wife, taking her hand and linking their fingers. ‘You’ve known us as your parents, Winifred and George Barnes, but that’s not who we are. My name is Wendy Burrows.’
George smiles at her. ‘And I’m Gerry Baldwin, son.’ Bucky shakes his head, and Steve has JARVIS pause the video.
“If you can’t do this, or you want to do this in private, we’ll all understand.” The team adds their agreement.
Bucky turns, shaking his head. “No, I want all of you here.” Taking his seat again, he nods for Steve to start it up again.
Winnie smiles, then takes a shaky breath. ‘We had to become new people in order to keep you safe. Over the years, things changed between us, and it wasn’t just a mission. We became the family neither of us had.’
George sighs. ‘We need you to understand why we did what we did. After working for SHIELD, thinking we were working for the good guys, we started to suspect that something more sinister was going on. At first, creating a super soldier seemed like a good thing, if that super soldier was going to be nurtured. When they told us that they were going to raise you to only know SHIELD and following orders, we couldn’t let that happen. I’ve included the files about how you were created on this drive, but we wanted you to hear everything else from us.’
Winnie nods, looking back into the camera. ‘We created you Bucky. It was our brainchild, and we don’t regret doing it now that we’ve watched you grow into such an amazing young man. We stole you from SHIELD and moved to California. We were never married.’
George grins. ‘Well, not until you were three and we found out Winnie was pregnant. I think I was always in love with her. I’d never met anyone that could challenge me, and I looked forward to it.’
Winnie looks over, hearts in her eyes. ‘We told everyone that we were married, when we moved here, and you were our first born and that’s true. You may not have come from my body, but you were always mine and your father's. Bucky, if SHIELD hasn’t taken you, remember that you come from two people that loved you enough to become different people. No matter what your body does, you were loved beyond compare. I’m sure you have a million questions, but that’s the only one that matters. We did this because we love you.’
Winnie starts to cry and George hugs her, kissing her head. Looking back at the camera, he gives a sad smile. ‘I’m sorry we’re gone, and you have to do this alone, but we are always with you because love never dies. I love you, son.’
Bucky looks around and everyone seems to be crying or sniffling. He looks up at Steve’s tear-stained face. “I’m not alone though.” He looks at the team. “I have a family again.”