Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was an ordinary day like any other when Jekyll heard something. 
Which wasn't too unusual, he often heard things. Most everyday in fact, big fan of it that man. But today he heard something odd.
A small shifting, like fabric or long hair, something soft.
He doesn't think much of it, almost tuning it out entirely. On a busy campus like this there could be a marching band made entirely of trumpets and it wouldn't be worth looking up for. So he didn't even consider looking around the classroom when all the notes and textbooks he could ever need were right in front of him.

Until it happened again. More shifting, someone shuffling around. It sounded louder, like they were getting closer to him.
But that doesn't make sense, there was no one near him.

In fact, there was no one in the room with him at all.

Jekyll had stayed after class to finish up his notes and was clearly the only person there.
Finally peeking his head out of his book he eyed the room with confusion…yup. Just him.
The classroom was large but it was no auditorium, just a few rows of chairs with hardwood tables, nowhere for anyone to hide. He was sitting in the front row, as close to the teachers desk as he could, with the door across from him.
He was probably just hearing someone in the hall or next room over. Sure it was late and most everyone had left campus already, but he was still there. Though he'd probably have to hurry to avoid getting locked in, again.

He had almost managed to convince himself it was nothing when he heard a new noise. Clinking, like small bells or bracelets. Jekyll looked again, bewildered. Okay there was nothing in here that would make those noises, there's nothing even moving near him. What was going on?

“Alright try it again.”

He jumped. The voice was right. in. his. ear.

A low mumbling.

“You're going to parr-e later?”

For a moment he sat shocked, looking around with wide eyes. There's no one around him, certainly not close enough to be speaking right in his ears.
Feeling a bit silly, he tentatively called out.

“Er, hello?”

He heard a yelp and startled curses. This wasn't making sense he could hear the voice right in his ears.
Was he over the speaker system maybe? Or- or-

“Who said that?! I'll fuck you up you fucking…fucker!”

There it was, a voice as clear and loud as his own. It was a man's voice, he couldn't tell the age. And scratchy, he spoke with an exaggerated cockney accent, though Jekyll couldn't tell what was under it. It was weird hearing a voice so close to him but not echoing, the way his was, in the empty room.

“Not you i'm talking to whoever's prankin me right now. Where are you you prick!?”

Oh right, that's him.

“I'm right here.” Jekyll said, pushing his chair back and standing, “Where are you?”

He could hear the shuffling of footsteps nearby, like the person was wandering around looking for him. Was Jekyll asleep maybe? At home in his bed? It wouldn’t be the first time he’d dreamt of work.

“Well? Come out then!”

Jekyll tried to get over his surprise and think logically about this.
How do you hear someone who's not in the same room as you? You call them.
And if you want to hear them directly in your ears? You connect to your headphones.

As a child Henry Jekyll had a… certain hobby that led to a series of infections. He was fine for the most part but a particularly bad ear infection resulted in loss of hearing; and he'd eventually had to get hearing aids.
He'd had them for so long he didn't even think about them when he heard the man's voice. Most days he forgot about them entirely after putting them on in the morning.
The man must have connected to them somehow and was ‘on call’ with Jekyll.

“Excuse me. Er, hello?”
“Man I cannot be hallucinating again last time it was- yeah you remember- with the eyes and junk-”

The other man was still talking, rambling really, with the occasional swear thrown in for good measure. Whoever this was was getting old quick. Jekyll cleared his throat impatiently.
 
“A-hem! Right, so I believe l know what's going on here. Our headphones got connected.”

There was quiet on the other end, whatever gesture or expression the other man was making was lost on Jekyll, who continued.

“I think when you turned your headphones on they accidentally connected to mine instead of your laptop or phone or whatever. So if you could just… disconnect your bluetooth device for a moment?”

“Hey!” he snapped, “My 'bluetooth device’ is my fucking hearing aids asshole!”

Jekyll blinked. Wait. This man also had hearing aids? What were the odds? Probably pretty high actually they must be on the same system.

That didn't explain why they were hearing each other now though. He certainly hadn't paired them together, maybe the man's headset had linked to the nearest thing like it? Or a bug from a new update he hadn't checked?

“Huh…my bluetooth device are my aids. They must have connected somehow…”

There was a moment of silence on the other end,
“Wait really? Huh… What kind do you have?”

“HJ7.”

“Same.”

Well that increased the odds of a system error rather than blind luck(deaf luck?).
Jekyll didn't exactly run into people like himself all that often, it was likely he simply hadn't been close enough to someone else's aids to run into a problem like this before.

“Right well, I'm in room 208 right now so if you come here we can try to figure this out.”

“What? Room 20- where the hell are you i'm not even in a building right now you git!”

Jekyll grit his teeth, god he just wanted to finish his notes and go home already. The man's voice was starting to give him a headache.

“I'm in the Rose building, room 208. If you use the front door and take the stairs on the left it's on the right side of the hallway.

“...wait. The Rose building? You're at that fancy ass college? Right now?”

“Yes. Upstairs on the right so if you could just come upstairs then we can sort this all out.”

“Well I can't fucking do that can I! I'm at The Copper Cog!”

Jekyll paused. The copper cog? The penny university next to that courtyard? That was all the way across town!
What was going on?

Chapter Text

Vibrations buzzed up his legs as he skateboarded down the sidewalk. A wicked smile was plastered on his face as he dodged angry pedestrians who waved their arms and made faces at him. Humming to himself, he nodded along to the tune in his head, no doubt wildly off-key.

Edward Hyde loved the faces people made when they saw him, their delicate noses wrinkled at his ripped jeans and dirty combat boots; the way they scowled at his piercings and bright clothing.
They just couldn’t handle the fact that he was cooler than them.

He did a kickflip, just cause he could, and took a sharp turn around a corner, startling another civilian.
He slowed down by dragging the side of his boot against the concrete as The Copper Cog came into view. From where he was he could see the tall figure of Pennybrigg waiting out front for everyone.

Spotting Hyde he waved and called out to him.

Hyde grinned and called back, “Hey! Gimme a sec I turned my ears off.” he said, making a big point to his ear. Pennybrigg nodded as he fiddled with the damn tiny switch.

Finally managing to turn his aids on he realized he still couldn't hear much, “Oh yeah, I turned ‘em down earlier cause I was taking a nap.” he muttered.

I can tell  Pennybrigg said with a smirk, pointing at his hair.

“Fuck you.” he laughed.

Hyde held the spiky attachment in place as he fiddled with one at a time, neither responding particularly well. Damn. He rolled the dials up and started to hear a bit better. His thin bracelets clinked together as he tried in vain to move his hair out of the way.
His hearing aids liked to glitch out sometimes, probably because Hyde liked to toss them on his bedside table, or in his bag when he wasn’t using them.

“Damn it all.” he muttered, still spinning the dials in an attempt to hear the slightest thing. Despite the hubbub of a city in the afternoon he couldn’t hear a lick of it. Not people, not wind or even traffic. He could feel the breeze of passing cars but could only hear the sounds of himself fidgeting with the damn things.

“Alright try it again.” he said, lowering his hands.

Penny faced him and made big exaggerated mouth movements, cupping his mouth like he was yelling, but Hyde knew the jokester was probably still using a normal volume.

“...You're going to parr e later?” he guessed, mostly looking at his lips.

He heard something, papers rustling, he glanced over his shoulder but there was nothing there. He turned back and started to ask when Flowers would be there, when-

“Er, hello?” All of the sudden, Hyde’s mouth was filled with the overwhelmingly bad taste of salt, like when he’d licked Rachel’s salt lamp that one time.

He yelped and spun around, spitting surprised curses.
“Who said that?! I'll fuck you up you fucking…fucker!”
Hyde kept turning, going around and around as he looked for the person who snuck up on him.

Pennybrigg blinked at him. He pointed at himself in question.

“Not you I'm talking to whoever's prankin me right now. Where are you you prick!?”

“I'm right here.” The voice said. Hyde heard the sound of a chair being pushed along tile, followed by the quiet, almost hesitant click of shoes. “Where are you?” Along with the salt his vision gave the impression of the color red, not blocking his sight, more like if he was thinking really hard about the color.

This is weird as hell, he couldn't even hear Penny right now but this guy was right on top of him! He could hear the shuffling of footsteps, like the speaker was wandering around looking for him.

Hyde narrowed his eyes, shuffling away from the cafe and down the sidewalk. Still not finding anyone he balled his fists and stomped, “Well? Come out then!”

Are you good
Pennybrigg looked past him down the street, still confused. 
Hyde are you see things

Hyde scowled. “I better not be.” That had been a rough week, he hadn’t slept in days and had been on all sorts of drugs that he knew better than to mix but did anyways. He’d gone on a hell of a bad trip. Reliving his worst nightmares and shit for days until it eventually wore off.

“Excuse me. Er, hello?”

The figments had mostly been visual but he could hear and feel them too which made telling what was real or not that much harder.
“I swear to fucking god that shit sucked. Man I cannot be hallucinating again last time it was- yeah you remember- with the eyes and junk.” 

Yeah that was a crazy trip

But wait he wasn’t on any drugs right now, or at least not those ones, and - “A-hem! Right, so I believe l know what's going on here.” The maybe-real maybe-auditory hallucination-al voice said. 
“Our headphones got connected.”

Hyde paused his pacing. Oh, yeah that would do it. 

“I think when you turned your headphones on they accidentally connected to mine instead of your laptop or phone or whatever. So if you could just… disconnect your bluetooth device for a moment?”

So much salt, god he wanted this guy to stop talking just so he didn’t have to taste it anymore. Hey wait a minute!

“Hey!” he snapped, “My 'bluetooth device’ is my fucking hearing aids asshole!”

The man paused, silent. Yeah take that. And take your saltiness with you.

Unfortunately the guy spoke again.
“Huh…my bluetooth device are my aids. They must have connected somehow…”

He blinked, surprised enough to calm down, “Wait really? Huh… What kind do you have?”

“HJ7.”

“Same.”
Weird, maybe the brand had something to do with it? Like they got mixed up and connected to what it thought were his? Maybe when Flowers got here she could figure it out. She was good with little mechanics like that. Or maybe he could go through his app and try to detach it there?

Before he could try it got obvious the guy wasn't going to wait for Hyde to puzzle it out and kept talking.
“Right well, I'm in room 208 right now so if you come here we can try to figure this out.”

He pulled out of his thoughts, “What? Room 20- where the hell are you i'm not even in a building right now you git!” Hyde eyed the buildings around him, half-expecting the man to be watching him from a high up window like a sniper or something.

“I'm in the Rose building, room 208. If you use the front door and take the stairs on the left it's on the right side of the hallway.”

“...wait. The Rose building? You're at that fancy ass college? Right now?”
Hyde knew the place. All the people there were pretentious as fuck and couldn't pick normal names like 'The Science building’ or 'Main Office’. No, they had to bring innocent plants like rose and sequoia and chrysanthemum into this.

“Yes.” he hissed, “Upstairs on the right so if you could just come upstairs then we can sort this all out.”

“Well I can't fucking do that can I! I'm at The Copper Cog!”

There was a long pause on the other end as the man processed this.

“The-! Well… you can come here anyways.” the man stuttered eventually. The impression of the color red making a comeback.

“Like hell I will!” Hyde snapped, startling a random passerby, “I won’t be lured to a secondary location by some stranger. How dumb do you think I am?”

He just barely caught the mutter of something that sounded like ‘very’.
“Hey! I heard that!! If you wanna meet you can come here and Penny and I will fix this!”

“Why would I meet TWO strangers?” the man huffed. Hyde heard the screech of a chair and some shifting, presumably the man sitting down again. 
“Just. Just let me look through my settings and see if I can fix this.”

In the end it took almost twenty minutes of both him and the guy frantically skimming through their apps and repeatedly connecting and disconnecting their hearing aids, to no avail.

Stomach and mouth growling Hyde broke it off and left the guy to puzzle out the problem himself. He finally adjusted his aids the right way and headed inside.

Almost everyone else had shown up while Hyde was distracted. Already holding their drinks and books. He flagged Lottie down and ordered the sugariest thing on the menu, along with a chocolate pastry. And wandered over to everyone.

Penny noticed him coming and pushed out a seat he’d saved him. Hyde crashed down gratefully and thunked his head onto the wooden table.

“Sooooo, who's your new friend?” Pennybrigg asked, a clear smirk to his voice. As well as the slight tang of copper.

“Ugh, some prick.” Hyde groaned into the table.

“I can still hear you, you know.” The man grit quietly.

“Then stop!! It's rude to eavesdrop!” he huffed, sitting up to glare at… nothing, right.

Pennybrigg raised an eyebrow, “We can wait til you hang up mate.”

Hyde just shook his head, “Can't, we're stuck. Our hearing aids are caught on each other or something.”

The man on the other end makes some kind of noise, something between a squeak and a yelp, “I- don't tell them that!”

Hyde raised an eyebrow, even though the man couldn’t see it.
“What? Why the hell not? It's not a secret or nothing.”

“Well- I- oh whatever.”

Hyde puffed his chest up. Exactly. Take that.

“Caught on each other? That's a thing?” right, back to Penny.

“Apparently. Hey, when is Flowers getting here I need her to fix all my problems for me.”

Archer snickered as he scooted his seat closer to them, “Sorry mate, she stayed behind to work on her project. Said it had a lot of bugs.”

“No, she said that she had a lot of bugs.” Lavender corrected, “Her new project has something to do with insects I think. She mentioned she probably won’t have time for outings for the next week or so.”

“Oh yeah. Say, did anyone hear about that party later?”

Hyde groaned and dropped his face back on the table.

Chapter Text

Jekyll sighed as he put down the pen. Straightening up was a slow and painful process that resulted in more than a few pops in his back. It was almost sundown by now, the last dregs of sunlight making their way through the window.

Jekyll rubbed his tired eyes. His class was certainly bright but the ideas they had about qualitative analysis were downright nonsensical. If he could restrict their lab hours he would. As it was, all he could do now was supervise them and hope no one blew anything up while his back was turned.

He gathered up his papers and swept them into his bag, a nice leather satchel that suited his curated professor look. Packing his things he finally stood from his desk and made his way out of the empty classroom, into the hallway where someone was distantly playing music.

Jekyll hurried down the stairs, polished shoes clicking on every step. He’d spent too long working again, this was the third time this week he’d stayed hours longer than needed. He really should try to take it easy like everyone suggested.
It wasn’t his fault there were things to do! There were only so many hours in a day and he couldn’t afford to waste a single one of them.
Hm, maybe he could start taking more of his work home? Zozi would enjoy the company if nothing else.

As he got to the ground floor he heard someone chatting. That was good, if other people were still in the building he was less likely to be locked in.

Finally. He breathed a sigh of relief as the glass door of the building came into view. It might still be light enough that he wouldn’t need to hurry home, if he was quick about it he could even stop by the store - annnnd the door is locked.
Damn.

He sighed, hopefully the backdoor was unlocked. Otherwise he would have had to embarrassedly call Rachel to come let him out.

The backdoor was an automatic one, and he knew the janitorial staff usually left it unlocked until they left with their carts for the night. It was a recent addition to the traditional school as part of an ‘accessibility campaign’.
It would probably help if they’d built elevators too but apparently old dogs can only learn so many new tricks when on a budget.

He turned to head to the other exit and came face to face with someone.

“Oh, Dr. Jekyll. How goes it?” Dr. Maijabi asked pleasantly.

Jekyll nearly jumped out of his skin but managed not to scream.
“Ah, uh, perfectly well thank you! I was just finishing up some grading.” he breathed smoothly. “You must be here to check on your tissue samples, yes?”

Dr. Maijabi nodded, his face was hard to see behind his bushy eyebrows and full beard but Jekyll was pretty sure he was smiling.

Maijabi was one of those people who held on to old fashions. Bowties, conductor hats, spots and striped patterns. The man was interesting and enjoyable to be around, which of course meant the administrators running the college hated him. However there was nothing they could do about it as the man had tenure, and not to mention had been the best in his field for literal decades.
Also he believed in ghosts.

“Yes, my most recent infection batch is showing good progress. The kids are eager to see the results.” The ‘kids’ of course being the full grown adults taking his biomedical course.

Jekyll nodded pleasantly. He liked Maijabi, more than most of the other professors, but all he really wanted right now was to go home and maybe have a glass of wine or two.

“Ah, that must be nice, my students don’t even pretend to not be on their phones in class most days. If you don’t mind though I really should be leaving-”

“Oh my god you’re a teacher, that's even worse.”

This time he did scream. He whirled around, coming face to face with his own reflection in the darkened glass door before remembering.

Right.

He'd almost forgotten about that. He’d entirely forgotten they hadn’t actually resolved the hearing aid problem, rather benching it for later. Jekyll had subconsciously tuned out the background noise, and apparently the man just hadn’t felt like talking until that very moment.

When he shakily turned back around Maijabi was holding his hands out as though reaching out to hold Jekyll.
“What's wrong? Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!” he exclaimed, eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, what's wrong?” came a taunt from the other end of the connection.

Jekyll took a step back from Maijabi, back brushing against the locked door.
“I-er- nothing! I just… just… I’m on call is all, ha ha! I called a friend earlier and I forgot I never hung up on him! I'm- I'm wearing an earpiece right now and he startled me is all!” he stuttered. “Nothing's wrong! He's just messing with me."

Maijabi laughed at him. Guffawed really. At least it was just laughter, the others would probably tease him when they found out. If they did, Maijabi wasn’t typically one for gossip but who knew…

“Goodness boy, you must keep fun company!” he chuckled.

“Ha ha yeah so if you’ll excuse me I really must be going now goodbye!” Jekyll edged around Maijabi and dashed down the hall, feeling his ears burn as he went.

“Goodnight Dr. Jekyll!”

From there his ‘friend’ made it a game to startle him at inopportune moments on his walk home. Yelling mid step or saying weird inappropriate things.

Jekyll grit his teeth and tried to stop himself from looking crazy by talking out loud.

“I can't believe you're timing my steps, how can you even hear that?” Jekyll growled under his breath when no one was nearby.

“I can hear everything you can Jeky-poo! I think your aids are transmitting the same information to the both of us, also, your shoes are loud as fuck.
Hey, can you hear this?” he asked, making fart noises and cackling. “Come on, it's for science! What about this! Or this!”

By the time he got to his apartment he was ready to smash his own hearing aids with a hammer.

Jekyll slammed his door with more force than usual. Struggling to rip off his bag and coat.

“Are you seriously five years old!? I swear I can’t even hear myself think over your childish antics! It’s genuinely unbelievable that someone as depraved and annoying as you even exists!”

“Oh yeah? Well I bet your salty ass is always this boring! It’s all BLAH BLAH BLAH with this guy!”

Jekyll was about to politely tell him to shove something up his own ass when Zozimous ran up to him.
The scottish terrier quickly went from eagerly wagging his tail to growling. He got in a defensive position and started spinning around looking for an intruder.

Jekyll’s voice caught in his throat and he knelt down to reassure his puppy.
“Oh, no I’m sorry Zozi. No ones here boy don’t worry. I’m just having a discussion with a madman right now.”

Zozi dropped his defensive stance as he was pet and let out a loud bark at the assurance.

“And another thing-! Wait, you have a dog?! …Fuckin mention that next time!”

Jekyll’s jaw drops, “Next time?! Next time I what? Connect my hearing aids to some random person and they decide to terrorize me?! My apologies I’ll be sure to bring that up sooner next time!”

But the man wasn’t listening anymore. He had done a total 180 and was now cooing in his ear to Zozimous, who obviously couldn't hear him.
“Aww who's a good boy? Is your dad a big meanie? I bet he is! I bet he is. Hey Doc! Put me on speaker would ya? I wanna talk to 'im!”

“Are- are you serious?! I’m not calling you so you can talk to my dog! I don’t even want to be talking to you right now!”

“Well tough shit I don’t wanna talk to you either!! Now put your dog on the phone or shut up!”

Jekyll pushed down the urge to start growling himself and instead took a moment to calm himself.
He was a fully grown man with multiple doctorates, if he could survive years of med school he could survive a few hours with a random low-life who had the worst attitude and the scratchiest voice he'd ever heard and a blatantly fake accent and jingling bracelets and-

The man prattled on as Jekyll took even more deep breaths.

“Okay. Look.” he interrupted, “If we’re going to be stuck this way for much longer I think we should introduce ourselves. The faster we work together the faster we can sort this out and move on with our lives. As you already know I’m Doctor Henry Jekyll, I teach chemistry at the college, and… I have a scottie named Zozimous.”

There was a huff on the other end, as well as a pause so long Jekyll almost thought they'd somehow disconnected and he was free, free of all burdens, before the man responded.

“Well if you must know, I’m Edward Hyde. And I'm The Spirit of London At Night!”

……… Oh god this was going to be worse then he thought.

Chapter Text

"...Hmm
......Hmm
..........Hmmmm"

"Alright thats fucking it! What the hell have you been 'HMMM'ing at for the past five minutes?!"

Jekyll didn't flinch, far too used to Hyde yelling over their connected hearing aids by now. And he didn't look away from the fridge wall of the grocery store.
"I'm trying to decide what sort of milk to buy. He muttered, tapping his chin. "There's a lot of plant-based choices to consider."

Hyde scoffed, "What you care about your health now? I heard you microwave ramen like every day this week."

Jekyll froze, a sudden blush coming to his face. "Wha-uh- how do you know it's ramen? What if it's just some leftovers I'm reheating?"

He heard Hyde snicker, "For exactly 2 minutes 40 seconds? I know how long ramen takes, I'm no fool."

"Well of course you do. You wouldn't know proper eating if it bit you." Jekyll sniffed.

"Says Dr. Ramen~”

He huffed, deciding to be the bigger person and just move on. "If you must know, I'm having company on thursday. I need to impress a member of the college board, the problem is he suggested I host the dinner."

"So?" Something on Hyde's end rattled. It was impossible to tell what, but he heard a squeak that he'd come to associate with Hyde shifting in one of his chairs. "Whats wrong with the same three things you always make when you have 'company'?"

Jekyll bit his tongue, turning back to the fridge. "The members wife, Ms. Mortinger, is vegan. Those three- er, all of the many dishes that I know how to make all include some form of meat or dairy."

"Ugh. Vegans are fucking psychos. No one cares about your new cruelty-free diet you're gonna quit on in two weeks Karen!"

"Hyde, vegans and vegetarians are perfectly sane and it's an admirable endeavor to want to be healthy and save animals."

"Oh yeah? Why aren't you vegan then, huh?"

"Er..." Jekyll glanced side to side, somehow hoping someone would save him from answering. Unfortunately no one was around, though that was actually rather fortunate, as it meant no one would see him talking to thin air.

"Well...uh... maybe I will!" he cried. Confidently. "It's never too late to start eating healthier! I might just start right now!"

He looked at the shelf of various milks labeled soy milk, oat milk, almond milk, cashew milk, pea milk oh that's unfortunate naming, cashew milk, and coconut milk. As well as the many 'meat alternatives’ and dairy-free cheeses already in his shopping cart.
Well, maybe not. But he wasn't telling Hyde that.

Hyde muttered unintelligibly, but with enough grumbling for Jekyll to feel smug.

"Yeah yeah whatever. So whats taking so damn long? Just grab one and go already fuckface."

"Well, the first thing I'm going to try is alfredo, but I'm not sure how a different milk will affect the sauce. Especially considering they're not actually milk.
There are some easy choices to eliminate, I'm pretty sure rice milk is mostly water. And I doubt the taste of almond would go well with alfredo."

"How do you know? Youve never tried it." Hyde scoffed, shifting again. Maybe to lie down? "Honestly, and you call yourself a scientist."

Jekyll pulled out a random carton and inspected the nutrition label. "Hm, pea milk has 8 grams of protein, that's a good sign right?"

"Pee milk??? Who the fuck named that? Also dont peas have shit bioavailability."

"Oh right, isn't it something like 46%?"

Hyde snorted, "I wouldn't know I'm not a fucking nerd."

"I-you literally just-ugh!"

After another five minutes of semi-quiet deliberation Jekyll decided soy milk would be his best bet and grabbed a few.
"Okay, a half-gallon is 2.86, so that's... 11.44."

"What? How much fucking milk are you buying?!" Hyde asked. He'd been unable to wait the few minutes in peace and had repeatedly sat up and down in his chair, tapping his feet all the while. Jekyll never understood why the man had so much energy, or so little patience, or... anything about him really.

"Just enough to practice with. What if I serve them my first attempt and it's not perfect? They'd probably laugh me out of my own flat!" God a disastrous dinner party would ruin his reputation, probably.

Hyde growled, actually growled, like an animal. "You know, I said this before but your life fucking sucks. You should quit your job and join my band."

"You don't have a band."

"Because we don't have enough people!! You could change that!"

Jekyll rolled his eyes, "Two people isn't enough for a band. I wouldn't be any good in a band either, I'd sound terrible. It would take ages for me to learn a passable tune, much less master an instrument."

"Thats not the point! Its not about sounding good its about having fun! Something you know nothing about mr-l-have-to-be-perfect-all-the-time-or-ill-fucking-die!"

Jekyll huffed, gripping his cart and heading for self-checkout. He wasn't going to be able to focus on making small talk with an cashier now that Hyde had worked himself up into another fit.

"And another thing! Where do you get off lecturing me on what I eat when you eat the same shit when no ones looking! You're a damn hypocrite and pretentious as fuck for buying fake milk!"

God that was right, this conversation started over milk.
Not for the first time, Jekyll considered going deaf permanently. Unfortunately he had classes to teach and a dog to take care of. Maybe one day.

"It's unreasonable to cook everyday when I won't eat all of it! And the milk's not even for me!"

"Thats worse! You're buying plant slurry just cause some rich guy told you to and you have no fucking backbone!"

"Hyde I'm not going to go against someone's personal wishes just because you think she's doing it for attention!"

“Oh yeah?!”

“Yeah!”

...

"Do you want to come over later and eat the practice meal?"

"Sure"

Chapter Text

“Edward Hyde leaps across the buildings with ease. Flying over gaps and obstacles like they weren't there. After all there’s nothing in the world that can stop the Spirit Of London at Night! (… ignore the fact that it's daytime)

Hyde drops onto the fire escape with a spicy CLANG and races down. Jumping down the last level in a freefall. He narrowly catches the last rung of the rusty ladder with his best leather gloves. The black fingerless ones with cool spikes he put on himself ‘cause he’s awesome and talented like that.

He sneaks down the alleyway. Blending into the shadows as if made from them, the creature darts soundlessly. Gazing upon the mortals going on about their daily business. Not knowing that a vicious beast, alone in the ranks of mankind, looked down upon them.

The one, the only, Spirit Of - !”

“Sorry, are you… monologuing?"

Hyde froze in the mouth of the alleyway. Ears flushing as he stiffened.
“Uh… no?”

“...right. Well, could you not-monologue quieter, I’m doing paperwork.” Jekyll said flatly.

“Ugh, when aren’t you doing paperwork?” he groaned.

Jekyll grumbled something while Hyde rolled his eyes. Some loser was looking at him funny, probably because he was talking out loud.
He snarled at them and they scampered off.

“Soooo do you need to hear anything in particular right now?” He asked. Casually. “I’m gonna listen to my music. You know, go on a walk.”

Jekyll sniffed, “I wouldn't call it that. Your taste in ‘music’ is terrible, there’s barely any tune and what lyrics you can hear are utterly nonsensical.”

“What!? My music is killer! You just suck too much to get it. You listen to shit like Mozart! Who actually listens to Mozart??”

“Mozart is calming and good for concentration!” Jekyll insisted for the hundredth time, “Maybe if you listened to it instead of screaming nonsense you’d be less irritating to speak to!”

Edward huffed and flicked a glance at his phone. Almost noon.
“Look are you gonna fuck off already or are we gonna bitch about whos music is better all day again!?”

“Ugh, whatever. You have one hour, then I need to start my lecture.”

“Okay mom.”

Jekyll grumbled but turned his ears off. Perfect.
Now free from the oppressive red fog, Hyde could do as he said and listen to some music.

Except, that was actually a lie.

(Well, he supposed he could listen to music on the way, but that wasn't the real reason he'd convinced Jekyll into turning off his hearing.)

The truth is… Today is the day Edward Hyde is going to break into Jekyll’s apartment!!

Weird? Sure. Illegal? Maybe, but hey what was a little breaking and entering between friends? Besides, Hyde had only resorted to this out of complete necessity!

It had been weeks now since he and Jekyll had met irl. Like, two! That was totally enough time for him to see how trustworthy and responsible and trustworthy Hyde was! And yet! The man still refused to let Hyde do the one thing he desired above all else. Above violence, above glory, the massive problem that Hyde was now out to resolve was:
Jekyll was still refusing to let him meet Zozimous!!!!!

Hyde loved dogs! Jekyll knew that! Jekyll knew that because Hyde had told him! Multiple times!!

And Zozi loved him!
While Jekyll wasn't happy with it Hyde would occasionally charmingly convince (annoy) him into letting him talk to Zozi. The man would place his cellphone on the floor while he worked on other stuff and Hyde would coo to the puppy. While the dog woofed and jumped around happily.

However that wasn't remotely as good as having Zozimous be in the same room as him. The closest he ever got to playing with him was when the dog brought over squeaky toys that Hyde couldn’t actually throw. But today that all changed!
Or it would. Once Hyde could actually get inside the damn apartment.

Jekyll had refused Hyde hanging out so many times that at this point he was convinced that Jekyll was either maliciously hoarding poor Zozi like a princess in a tower; or that this whole thing was a convoluted illusion involving recorded barks, growls, and patters that Jekyll randomly played all in order to merely trick Hyde into thinking that he had a dog when he in fact did not.

Admittedly it’s probably not the second one.

Worry not dear Zozi! Your knight is coming to rescue you! Hm, wait that makes Jekyll the dragon. Hyde wanted to be the dragon. Your dragon is coming to rescue you! From the lamest knight on earth!! Yeah.

With step one of the plan complete Hyde took off into the city’s streets. With killer music playing.

Since Hyde already knew where Jekyll lived (thanks Rachel) the biggest obstacle was Jekyll’s Ring alarm.

For some goddam reason Jekyll had one of those annoying ass doorbell apps for his apartment that went off every time someone so much as walked down the hallway. Jekyll said it was in case anyone knocked on his door and he didn’t hear them but that literally never happened! Or at least it hadn’t since Hyde came around.

Anyway, it was super annoying, in particular now that Hyde was trying to get in without Jekyll finding out.

But that was no problem for The Spirit Of London At Night! Door schmore. His followers didn’t worship the ground he walks on cause he lets a little app stop him! Where Hyde was going he didn’t need doors! That’s right. He was breaking in right through the window!

Obviously Hyde was the unquestionable master of climbing. Not to mention fast, agile, strong, handsome, ect. One measly window on a multistory building was nothing! He’d even secretly given Eli some tips on his grip last time they hung out. All this would take was a little parkour!

Hyde cracked his knuckles as he finally reached the fucking apartment building. It was pretty normal on the outside. Brick, metal, glass. The important thing was that the window frames had plenty of ledges for him to work with!

Hyde darted around the building. Nosing around like he could spot Zozi from the outside.
Flat brick wall, flat brick wall, flat brick wall, and ooh! A bright red… shiny… fire escape.

Well, that was less fun. But who was he to turn down an easy in? Jekyll’s apartment here he comes!

He raced up the stairs. The escape didn’t make the same sickly creaks older ones did but they did squeak under his rubber boots. When he got to the right room he smushed his face up against the window, humming at the warmth. Hm, no Zozi.

It looked like a normal apartment. Which was to say it was an empty wasteland of plain ‘modern’ furniture and stock photos.
Jesus he was starting to second guess that he had the right apartment cause it seriously looked like nobody lived here.

Hyde gave the window a wiggle and wasn’t surprised it was locked. He tossed a halfhearted glance over his shoulder and pulled out a long flat hairpin he’d brought just for this. His loose bun flopped out but that didn't even matter with how much hair was already in his face so he didn't care. He wedged the blade between the panels and spent a good few minutes trying to flip the latch without snapping the pin.

A thin white *click* and the latch was open! Hyde easily slid through the opened pane, landing in a crouch and flipping his hair back.
“You’re a clever boy mister Hyde~”

The grin froze on his face as he heard a low growling.
… He may have made a slight miscalculation.

Hyde screeched from the generic sofa while a surprisingly angry Zozimous barked at him. Circling the couch like a soldier.

“Zozi! Zozi! It’s me!! Hyde!!! You literally know me man c’mon!!” he yelped

“WOOF”

“Shhh!! Please!” For such a small dog he was LOUD. Hyde nervously wondered if a neighbor would text Jekyll about his dog going nuts.

“Jekyll and Rachel never mentioned you lose your fuckin mind for fun what the hell?!?” He was going to have to have a talk with them about properly warning a guy before he breaks in to pet your dog. Honestly!

While he was distracted Zozi hopped up and almost nicked his heel. He squawked and yanked his leg closer.

“Oi! Awright stop acting lik' that, we're best buds!”

Zozi stopped growling. He tilted his head and perked his ears.

“Knock it oof we're gonna be en trouble!” Hyde said, panting.
Cracking an eye open he realized the pup had actually stopped. “... Zozi? Ye dane now ya wee dug?”

Zozi leered at him suspiciously from the floor. Eyes narrowed and body lowered, ready to spring. Hyde wondered what the hell he was plannin now, when Zozi plopped down on his hindlegs and lolled his tongue out.

Hyde stared. Blinking at the now seemingly docile dog.

Zozi wagged his tail.

Hyde cautiously and carefully clambered off the couch with a thud. Landing on his rear.
“...Guid laddie?”

Zozi perked up and started doing laps around Hyde, barking happily and nuzzling up for pets.

Well, who was he to look a gift dog in the mouth? Hyde instantly started petting the puppy. Cooing all along.
“Wee dug, guid laddie!”

Huh… speaking of things Jekyll and Rachel hadn't mentioned…

On a hunch Hyde held out his hand to Zozi and said, “Shake”. And he did! Of course such a good boy knew tricks! Zozi happily placed a ‘paw’ in Hyde's hand, giving him a good look at what he was holding.

Instead of legs, Zozimous had four prosthetics. Thin flat sticks that kind of looked like spatulas, each had a small bit of rubber on the bottom, probably so he didn’t slide away.

“Zozi, you’re… JUST LIKE ME FR!!”

Zozi barked in agreement and bolted off to grab something from a box next to the television. He came back holding something in his mouth.

“Oh hell yeah! We can play with your toys now!”

The toy he brought was a squeaky one he'd heard pretty often on their phone calls. He'd imagined it blue but it was actually a deep purple with spikes.

Hyde immediately dived to wrestle it from Zozi. The dog jumped back and lowered himself playfully. Before darting off in a different direction, Hyde giving chase.

They circled the couch a few times til Hyde managed to wrestle it away. Cheering in victory.

Nothing could ruin this moment. He wanted this to last forever.

Abruptly Hyde heard a voice in his left ear that wasn't his.

*CLICK* “-oping you could get it done before Friday."

“Of course! I can totally do that!”

Crap. Hyde desperately shushed Zozi. But the dog was still happily barking away. Loudly.

A prickle ran up Hyde’s neck as a heavy red fog descended around him, weighing him down and pressing insistently at the back of his mind.

“...Hyde.”

Hyde gulped.

“Why are you in my apartment.”

“Er…”

When Jekyll gets home he’s greeted to the sight of his dog and a grown ass man sprawled on the floor, with Zozi’s toys scattered around them.

Boot marks on his couch, dog treats everywhere, and when Zozimous happily trotted over to him he spotted one more mess to clean.

He sighed, stepping over a snoring Hyde, and grabbed a rag to wipe away the skeleton bones that had been sharpied on Zozi’s prosthetics.

“Guid Laddie. Did ye hae fin th'day?” Jekyll asked, kneeling down.

Zozi yipped happily and wagged his tail. Unexpectedly he pulled away from Jekyll, who was still cleaning his legs, and ran over to point at Hyde.

“I see him.” He agreed.

Zozi barked and started picking up toys and dropping them on the still sleeping man, making a pile.

Henry sighed. He'd begrudgingly admit that his schedule didn’t allow for much attention or playtime for poor Zozimous. Perhaps Hyde could maybe dogsit every once in a while.

Jekyll dropped his bag on Hyde's stomach to wake him up and kicked him out of his apartment.