Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

In the neutral zone, a space outside of space and time, alarms are going off.

A patient has escaped,something previously thought to be impossible. And not just any patient, no, it was the triangle himself, Bill Cipher.

No one is even really sure how it happened, not even the frilly guy. Perhaps Bill had a power no one knew of. Maybe he got help from the outside. Or maybe it was just from some quantum fluctuations, which seems most likely.

However, he was not found in any existing dimensions. Bill Cipher has escaped the multiverse.

We don't know how that's possible, but at least he won't be able to terrorize people anymore. There's nothing out there, right? I mean, a multi-multi verse would be absurd.

-an excerpt from a news article in Dimension 76_

—

Gwendolyn Clawthorne had been born before the reign of Emperor Belos, and unlike many younger people, such as her daughter Lilith, she didn't blindly believe that everything he did was right.

However, she didn't completely hate the Emperor like her other daughter, Edalyn. He had set up many systems that improved life for people, and he'd unified the Isles.

He wasn't a perfect emperor, but he seemed to be a decent one.

That was until a few days ago, when Belos started demanding that citizens worship and entity called “Bill Cipher” who was supposedly a one-eyed yellow triangle who wore a tophat.

Belos even changed the emperor's coven symbol to be more reminiscent of Bill and started putting symbols of him up everywhere.

Gwen thought all this Bill stuff was made up. She'd never read about anything like him, it was like he's from a whole different universe. It made no sense to her.

But who knows? Maybe Bill was real.

—

Ford’s interdimensional smartphone buzzed. He checked the message to see it was in the group chat between himself, The Oracle, the parallel version of Fiddleford, and Hydronica.

Jess: I have some news.

Jess: Bill escaped from the theraprism.

Fiddleford Pines: How?

Hydronica: yeah, it's that place impossible to get out of?

Jess: I don't know. Apparently he escaped from the multiverse.

Jess: I found a news article from dimension 76_

Jess: mvww.76_news/how-did-bill-escape-the-theraprism

Ford opened the article and began to read through it. There was no way Bill was outside space and time. That was insane.

It could be possible, though. During his time in the multiverse, Ford learned that anything was possible.

Ford: If he's out there, that's dangerous.

Hydronica: chill out six fingers. There's literally nothing outside of the multiverse. You're starting to sound like Fiddleford

Fiddleford Pines: Hey, at least I didn't build a memory gun. That was the other Fiddleford.

Ford: Yeah, also you need to use proper grammar.

Hydronica: none of these chumps here care about grammar, they only obey the rules of it so you won't berate them

Jess: Guys, stop arguing.

Ford: Sorry, Jheselbraum.

Hydronica: sorry

Hydronica: keep in mind that I'm only apologiZing cuz you're the admin

Jess: You're starting to sound like your sister.

Hydronica: I hate you all

Ford: Is there any way that I can follow Bill outside space and time so I can defeat him once and for all?

Jess: That's a terrible idea.

Fiddleford Pines: Oh, I know a way. It's a device that we've been building at the Institute of Oddology.

Fiddleford Pines: Keep in mind it is very dangerous and we don't know if it works yet.

Ford: Then I will gladly be your test subject.

Jess: Are you sure you want to do this? We will probably never see you again.

Ford: Yes, I'm sure. It has been my life’s mission to defeat Bill, and I'm not giving up now.

Jess: Alright. Just make sure to say goodbye to your family.

“Stanley!” Ford exclaimed. He quickly comes inside the cabin.

“What is it?” Stanley asks.

“I'm going Bill hunting.”

—

Ford felt bad about leaving his family behind, but he had to. He had to defeat Bill.

Now, he was at the Institute of Oddology, walking with parallel Fiddleford.

“We've got a lot of scientaculous thingamajigs.” PF said.

“Alright.” Ford said. “We don't have time for a tour. Just lead me to the machine.”

“Grunkle Ford!” Mabel suddenly came out of hiding. “You can't do this!” She was 15 now, far more mature than when she'd caused weirdmageddon, but of course she had to get involved.

Ford sighed. “I've devoted my entire life to defeating Bill. I can't give up now. Mabel, go home.”

“No.” Mabel pulled at her portal gun, pointing it at Ford's feet. Ford managed to dodge just in time. He ran, knowing that if he stuck around any longer, he'd be transported to another dimension.

As Ford rounded a corner, he bumped into someone. And when he looked up, he was… his own face?

His surroundings were flickering, fading in and out. He'd bumped into his parallel self, and now, the whole dimension was falling apart.

“Mabel!” Ford yelled. “Use your portal gun and get out of here!”

“We’re not leaving you!” Mabel said. Suddenly, Stanley and Dipper appeared next to her.

“Listen, Grunkle Ford.” Dipper grabbed Ford’s hand. “I don't know what's going to happen to us. But we're family, and family sticks together.”

“No!” Ford said. “You're going to be erased from existence!”

Instead of listening, Stanley walked up to Ford and hugged him. “Sixer, I don't think we're really getting erased. There's something on the other side, I know it. And even if there isn't, it's our time.”

“Mabel, save yourself!” Ford said. Dipper and Stanley were already corrupted, but Mabel could still get out.

Mabel walked up to Ford and grabbed his hand. “Us weirdos have to stick together.”

The dimension collapsed, erasing all its inhabitants from existence as they knew it.

—

Amity put her training wand in her pocket, finally being able to sneak away from her siblings. She took a walk through the snowy wilderness on the knee, appreciating her surroundings.

She got busy often, and it was nice to be able to take breaks.

That was when she stumbled upon four people laying in the snow. “Hello?” She said, shaking them. “You guys awake?”

“Holy crap!” One of them exclaimed. He was an old man with glasses and a gray beard. “It worked!”

“What?” The man beside him got up, turning out to also be an old man with glasses. Both of them looked exactly the same. Were they twins? Amity did notice that this old man had six fingers.

“My head hurts.” A girl around Amity’s age grumbled. She had long brown hair and wore a headband.

“Where even are we?” A boy, also around Amity’s age, asked. He had brown hair and wore a tan hat.

“Uh, you're on the knee.” Amity said.

“That's makes no sense.” The boy said. “It's freezing here? Can you like, get us jackets or something?”

“Uh, I didn't bring any spares.” Amity said. Both the teens looked to be shivering.

“Hello!” The girl greeted. “I'm Mabel! I'm 15 and own a pig! Also I'm from another dimension.”

“You're from another dimension?” Amity said. “Oh Titan, I didn't expect to find more humans here. I mean, uh, oh Cipher.”

“Oh Cipher?” The old man with six fingers inquired.

“Yeah, according to our emperor, we all should worship a triangle named Bill Cipher. I don't really get it though.”

“WHAT?” He exclaimed.

Chapter Text

“Bill, I love you so much!” Ford exclaimed. “Of course I'll be your henchmaniac! I'll even be more than that! I can be your right hand man!”

“Ah, I knew you'd say that.” Bill replied. “Of course you'd forgive that I tried to kill your family.”

“Bill!” Bill turned away from his sock puppets to see Belos entering the room.

“Yeah?” Bill said.

“i need your advice on how to increase coven numbers.” Belos said. “We need to have everyone in a coven by the day of unity.”

Bill rolled his eyes. “Because you wanna wipe out the entire demon realm?”

“Yes, obviously!” Belos said.

Bill groaned. “Well, I'm sick of hanging out in your mindscape doing nothing. I need a physical form. So, I'll give you advice, but first, you need to work on the portal.”

“Fine.” Belos said. He woke up shortly after. He walked through the castle, down into the hidden basement, past the grimwalker pit (he didn't like to look at it).

Eventually, he reached the lowest room. A partially constructed portal, intended to bring Bill into the demon realm.

Well, it was time to continue working. But until he found Titan blood, it was gonna be hard to make it work.

—

“So, let me get this straight.” Luz said. “You four are from another dimension, but not just the Earth in from, like, a parallel version of Earth?”

“Yeah, that sums it up.” Dipper said. “And now we're staying here. At this owl house.”

“Okay, just one thing.” Luz said. “When Eda wakes up and sees you, she might freak out, since I didn't tell her you're here.”

As if on cue, Eda walked down the stairs, yawning. “Luz did you bring more refugees into our house?” Eda complained.

“Eda, it won't be like last time.” Luz said. Last time, the “refugees” were actually coven scouts in disguise.

“Sure, whatever.” Eda opened her eyes. “Slatney?” She exclaimed.

“Marylin?” Stan exclaimed.

“You know her?” Dipper exclaimed.

“Yeah, we were married for like, 48 hours.” Stan explained.

“And then I scammed him!” Eda laughed. “I got em good!”

“And I thought you couldn't scam a con-man…” Ford said.

“Wait, how is that even possible?” Dipper asked. “Aren't you from entirely different dimensions? Even the portal you have to the human realm won't lead to our human realm.”

Eda and Stan both shrugged.

“By the way,” Stan said. “My name isn't actually Slatney. It's actually Stanley.”

“Well, I can say the same.” Eda replied. “My name is actually Eda.”

“This is really weird.” Mabel said. She looked at Luz. “I can't believe my uncle was married to your aunt!”

Luz rolled her eyes. “She's my mentor, not my aunt.”

“That's enough of this.” Ford said. “We can talk about this later. Right now, we have a urgent problem. A cipher problem.”

“Oh, Bill Cipher?” Eda said. “Yeah, that dumb emperor is telling us all to worship him.” She snorted. “It's all nonsense, of course.”

“No.” Ford said. “It's more dangerous than you could imagine. I need to know everything about this. We need to discuss this in private.”

“Sure.” Eda said. She grabbed her cup of apple blood, and she and Ford walked up the stairs.

“So, I guess you want to know about me!” Mabel said. “I'm 15 and own a pig!”

“Okay.” Luz said.

“And Dipper, he's a huge nerd.”

“Wow!” Luz said. “I'm a huge nerd too!”

Dipper gasped. “Really? Have you heard of quantum entanglement theory?”

“What?” Luz said. “I watch anime and I'm in internet fandoms. I don't know anything about all that STEM stuff.”

“Dang it.” Dipper said.

“Don't worry, Dip.” Mabel said. “You can still talk about nerd math to me, even though I won't understand it.”

“Hey kids, wanna scam people in this alternate universe too?” Stan asked.

“Oh, I've already done plenty.” Luz said. “I mean, you should see Eda's wanted poster.” Luz pulled a curtain up, showing off the wanted poster on the wall.

“HEY GUYS!” An obnoxious voice screeches as the door opens. Out of the door comes Hooty, with his strange bird tube body.

“Ugh.” Mabel says. “He creeps me out.”

“Yeah.” Dipper replies. “I just don't like him.”

Stan laughs. “Oh, my brother encounters weirder things on a daily basis! I bet I can befriend him, maybe even get him to pledge undying loyalty to me.”

“Well, let's bet on it.” Mabel said. “Ten dollars that he won't be your friend.”

“Ha, I'm so charismatic.” Stan says. “I like those odds.” He walks up to Hooty to talk to him.

“Now that it's just us three…” Mabel begans, “Who wants to look at cute boys?”

“Ooh.” Luz says. “Don't mind if I do.”

“Girls are the worst.” Dipper grumbled.

Meanwhile, in Eda’s room…

Eda sipped her apple blood. “So. Bill Cipher. What's the problem with him, anyway?”

“Bill Cipher is a dangerous and powerful demon.” Ford said. “He can possess people, and haunt dreams. What's worse is that he's manipulative. He knows exactly what to say to people to get them to make a deal with him.”

“And?” Eda said. “Why should I care?”

“Because he could destroy this realm.” Ford replied. “He tried to do it with my home realm. He wanted to take over so he could turn my dimension into a hellhole for his own personal entertainment.”

“He will do the same with this place, Eda.” Ford continued. “I don't know if he has a physical form, but either way, he's dangerous. And with the entire dimension worshipping him, they'll build a portal in no time.”

“Uh, okay?” Eda said. “I'm gonna be honest, I didn't understand much of that. Besides, Belos is already doing that, and I'm fine.”

“You don't get it!” Ford exclaimed, seeing that Eda was looking away.

“Oh hello King.” Eda said. “Ford, meet my roommate, King.”

“I am the King of Demons!” King exclaimed.

“Bill?” Ford exclaimed; this person sounded exactly like him! But when King finally emerged from the hallway, Ford could see he was a small dog-like demon creature.

“Oh.” Ford said. “It's just a furry demon thing.”

“Yes, I am a demon!” King said. “The King of Demons!” It was still uncanny how much he sounded like Bill.

“Is he actually the king of demons?” Ford asked Eda. He wouldn't be surprised if he was- Ford had seen some strange things in the multiverse- but he just wanted to be sure.

“Oh, not anymore.” Eda chuckled. “He was once a mighty ruler before his power was usurped, and he shrunk into this little creature.”

“Okay.” Ford said, choosing not to inquire. “It's nice to meet you. I'm Ford.” Ford was about to hold his hand out for a handshake, but he thought better of it.

“Eda! The King of Demons demands tummy scratches!” King exclaimed.

—

“I'll pass.” Mabel said. “Too many tentacles.” Mabel, Dipper, and Luz were playing smash or pass with different species across the multiverse and the Boiling Isles.

“Totally smash.” Luz said. “I am so into that species.”

“Ew, pass.” Dipper said.

“You choose pass for all of them, Dipper.” Mabel complained.

“Yeah, cuz I'm not into them.” Dipper grumbled. “This game is stupid anyway.”

“Ha, you're only into Wendy.” Mabel teased.

“What the heck Mabel? I got over Wendy, like 3 years ago. Haven't had a crush since. It's way better that way.” Dipper said.

“Yeah, true.” Mabel said. “And she was 3 years older than you. It would've been really weird if you actually dated. Not as weird as some of my past relationships… but still.”

“Oooh, what were your past relationships?” Luz asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Let's just say, I have some really strange stories.” Mabel said.

“Hey kids!” Stan shouted. “I'm friends with Hooty now and he'll do anything I ask him to!”

Mabel and Dipper groaned. “Well, I guess we lose the bet.” Dipper said.

“How do we split the money?” Mabel asked.

“How about you give him the full 10 dollars?” Dipper suggested.

“Not. Happening!” Mabel exclaimed.

“Gimme your money!” Dipper tackled Mabel.

“Hey!” Mabel said, giggling. “You pay him!”

Suddenly, the two siblings were interrupted from their playfight to the house shaking.

“What's that?” Mabel asked.

“Uh oh.” Luz said. “I think it's the owl beast!”

The Owl beast emerged from a hallway, growling.

“What do we do?” Mabel asked.

“We're doomed!” Dipper exclaimed

Chapter Text

The Owl beast emerged from a hallway, growling.

“What do we do?” Mabel asked.

“We're doomed!” Dipper exclaimed.

Mabel laughed. “Doomed? Why do you think I carry a crossbow on me at all times?”

“Oh, right.” Dipper said. “Sometimes I forget that I'm competent.”

Mabel pulled out her crossbow, aiming for the head of the owl beast.

“Don't shoot!” Luz exclaimed, tilting the crossbow away from the beast as Mabel shot. The arrow landed at the beast's feet.

The beast charged towards Mabel, but before it could reach her, it was restrained by seemingly magic vines.

“I've gotcha.” Luz said. “King! Where are you? Get the elixir!”

Ford appeared in the hallway. “King was eaten by the beast.” He explained. “Kind of a problem, but this is a fascinating creature to study.” Ford sat down and started taking notes.

“Eda ate King??!!” Luz exclaimed.

“That monster is Eda?” Dipper gasped.

“Yeah, and only elixir can turn her back.” Luz said. “If I leave, she'll break out if her restraints. Ford, I need you to get the elixir, since you're the only one who knows where Eda’s room is. It's orange and by her bedside.”

“I'm on it.” Ford said. He quickly ran upstairs and grabbed the elixir, then went back down.

“I've got it!” Ford said. “Catch!” He tossed it to Luz, who tossed it inside Eda’s mouth. She turned back, looking very annoyed and confused.

“Ugh, why does my mouth feel so furry?” Eda grumbled. “At least the elixir works this time.” She coughed up an owl pellet, which had King inside it.

“Ugh.” King said. “Still not as bad as when Hooty swallowed me.”

Eda groaned. “I ate you this time?”

“Yeah.” King said. “I'm going to take a shower.” He walked away.

—

While Eda and King recovered from the owl beast incident, Ford took Luz aside to get more information on the curse.

“How did Eda get this curse?” Ford asked.

“I'm not quite sure.” Luz replied. “i know she got it as a teen, but she isn't sure who cursed her. She just said that she woke up one day, cursed.”

Ford scribbled down some notes. “Alright. What causes her to turn into the beast?”

“Mainly stress, I think.” Luz replied. “If she drinks her elixir every day, she can usually prevent it, but sometimes she runs out, or the elixir doesn't work. Eda tells me it's all fine, but I think the curse is getting worse.”

Ford took some more notes. “Do you know if the owl beast has any weaknesses?”

“Yeah.” Luz said. “Demons with black eyes are sensitive to light. It doesn't make her turn back like the elixir does, but it distracts the beast.”

“Anything else?” Ford asked.

“Oh, the curse also takes away her magic.” Luz added. “She's the most powerful witch in the Boiling Isles, but when the curse gets bad, she isn't able to do magic.”

“Fascinating.” Ford finished taking notes. “I must study this realm. Imagine all the strange things they have here!”

“Oh yeah, there's a lot.” Luz said. “So many different types of magic.”

—

In the following days, Ford made a new journal and studied everything this dimension had to offer. Everything from typical witch magic (pretty normal) to palisman (truly fascinating creatures!) to the house demon that lived with them (he got more horrifying the more Ford learned about him)

Ford even discovered glyphs, a way humans could do magic without the bile sacks most witches used. He didn't really see the point of learning them- guns and crossbows were far more effective weapons- but he still did, since it might help him out later. So far, Luz only knew the ice and light glyphs.

Ford, Mabel, and Dipper were now going to take a tour around Luz’s new school, Hexside. Stanley had refused to participate, saying he didn't care about magic and had better things to do.

“So this is magic school?” Mabel asked, amazed. Since it was after school, there weren't many people around.

“Yup.” Luz said.

“The lockers are alive.” Dipper observed. He touched one of the lockers, but jumped away when it hissed at him.

“Let's just say we don't put our lunches in there.” Luz said.

“Hello!” Mabel greeted the lockers. “I'm Mabel! I love glitter!”

“And this over here is the detention pit.” Luz explained. “It's currently out of order, but usually this is where troublemakers are sent.”

“Detention pit?” Dipper said. “I have a lot a questions.”

“You don't wanna know.” Luz said.

“Help!!!” They heard someone scream, and a short boy came running through the hallway, being chased by a bunch of pixies.

“Gus!” Luz exclaimed. “Are those… pixies?”

“Their bites are so painful!” Gus exclaimed! “And they aren't fooled by my illusions!”

“Fascinating!” Ford started sketching.

“Leave it to Mabel!” Mabel said, and started punching the pixies. Gus sighed in relief, finally able to catch his breath. He sat down on a bench next to Ford.

“You're human!” Gus noticed. “So cool. I'm like, a human expert. Wait, do you all have six fingers?”

“Oh no, six fingers is quite unusual for humans actually.” Ford said. “It's an anomaly, and it's made me quite fond of studying strange things. Can you tell me a bit about those pixies?” Ford showed Gus his sketches.

“Hmm…” Gus thought for a moment. “Okay, I'll tell you about this world, but only if you tell me about the human world.”

“Sure thing, kid.” Ford said.

Meanwhile, Luz, Mabel, and Dipper were fighting the pixies. The pixies could be easily taken out, but there were just so many of them! And for some reason Ford and Gus were just sitting around and chatting.

Suddenly, a girl ran towards them, using vines to fight the pixies. She had round glasses and black hair.

“Oh hey Willow!” Luz said. “Thanks for the help.”

“No problem.” Willow grinned. With the group of four working together, they were able to hold their own against the pixies.

On a nearby bench, Ford and Gus were still talking.

“It seems they've got this handled.” Gus said. “Wanna see the illusion track homeroom?”

“Sure!” Ford said. They got up and walked away.

“Well, they're gone.” Dipper said, smacking a pixie away from him.”

“It's fine.” Willow said. “We got this handled.”

“Yeah.” Luz agrees. “Willow’s the most powerful witch I know. They only say to defeat her is to convince her to stop fighting.”

Willow seemed distracted, looking off into a hallway. “Amity!” She yelled, running off.

“And… she ditched us.” Dipper said.

“I think she's helping a friend.” Mabel squished another pixie.

Willow ran down the hall, seeing Amity getting swarmed and overwhelmed by pixies. The green haired girl’s abomination magic was strong, but it was no match for all those pixies.

Willow used her vines to keep the pixies away from Amity, and with the two of them together, it was a bit easier to fight.

“Wow, you're actually pretty decent at magic now.” Amity said.

“Save it.” Willow said. “This isn't personal. I would've helped out any classmate in danger.”

“Thanks anyway.” Amity said as they dispatched the rest of the pixies.

“Well, I'll just go.” Amity said. The pixies were gone, leaving just Amity and Willow.

“Bye.” Willow said. Neither of them were ready to talk about repairing their friendship. Amity left down the hallway, disappearing out of sight.

Willow ran back to the other group, who were finally done fighting the pixies.

“Wow, that was crazy!” Mabel said. “Pixies are worse than unicorns. Can we punch more of them? I'm thirsty for pixie blood.”

“If more pixies show up, we can beat them up together.” Willow said.

“Help! The pixies got into the plant homeroom!” Jerbo yelled from down the hall.

“Let's do this.” Mabel said. She and Willow left to go fight the pixies in the plant homeroom.

“Holy crap, your sister is amazing.” Luz said.

Dipper chuckled. “Yeah, she is. By the way, where did all these pixies come from?”

Luz laughed. “Trust me, stuff like this happens all the time at Hexside.”

—

Meanwhile, at the owl house…

“I'm starting to wonder if divorcing you was the right decision.” Eda said. “You're the only one who understands that magic school is a whole load of nonsense, Slatney.”

“You know my name’s Stanley.” Stan said. “But yeah, you're right about school. Total waste of time. Why bother with it when you can learn how to scam people?”

Eda laughed. “Finally someone who gets me! My perfect prissy sister Lilith thinks I'm wasting my life, but she's the one wasting her time in some dumb castle serving some corrupt emperor.”

“Your sister can take a hike.” Stan laughed. “Marilyn, if this isn't the perfect life, I don't know what is.”

“You know my name’s Eda.” Eda said, and her and Stan laughed.

“Heya friends!” Hooty exclaimed, popping up behind them.

“Oh, hey Hooty.” Stan said.

“Your loyal servant, forever and ever!” Hooty did the bird-tube equivalent of a bow.

“I can't believe you managed to become best friends with Hooty.” Eda said, utterly perplexed. “And make him into your servant?”

“Easy.” Stan chuckled.

“I'm desperate for friends!” Hooty explained. “I'll do anything to be included! Anything!”

“Ugh!” King covered his ears. “That annoying voice! Why can't I get that annoying voice out of my head?”

—

Willow and Mabel ran towards the plant homeroom, ready to fight more pixies. They burst into the room, finding it completely overrun. Even with the carnivorous plants trying to fend off the invasion, it was still not enough.

“No pixie is going to mess with my plants!” Willow said. “Come on Mabel, let's attack!” They started punching and squishing pixies, getting pink glitter (pixie blood) all over them.

Mabel laughed. “And I said I liked glitter.” She crushed a pixie that was on her face, splattering it with more pixie blood. “Reminds me of unicorn blood.”

—

“How does a pixie infestation even work?” Dipper asked. “I never imagined pixies as being annoying pests with painful bites.”

Luz chuckled. “Number one rule of the Boiling Isles: expect the unexpected. You probably shouldn't be too concerned though; the pixies don't seem particularly intelligent.”

Dipper chuckled. “Yeah, better than fighting and army of gnomes. Wait, I have an idea. Are there leaf blowers in the Boiling Isles?”

Luz shook her head. “Nah, this place doesn't have much human technology. Sucking up the pixies with a leaf blower is pretty clever though.”

“Alright, alright.” Dipper said. “Now that we've smushed most of them, theyre not much of a threat.”

“Help!” A voice shouted from down the hallway. “The pixies tied up Edric and they're about to kill him!”

“We gotta help!” Dipper exclaimed, running down the hallway. Luz followed, using an ice glyph to speed herself up.

The girl who had called for help had dark green hair and was currently running down the hallway. Luz and Dipper caught up to her.

“Hey Luz.” She said. “I'm Emira, who's this kid?”

“I'm Dipper.” Dipper said.

“Okay.” Emira said. “Here's the plan: me and Dipper will hold back the pixies while Luz frees my brother Edric.”

Emira immediately began attacking the pixies, and Dipper joined in, while Luz snuck behind them to untie Edric.

“Get lost, you pests!” Emira said, kicking one across the room. “You aren't going to hurt my twin brother!” She punched another one.

“You're a twin too?” Dipper asked, squishing a pixie.

“Oh yeah.” Emira said. “He can drive me insane, but he's still my twin.”

“Nice.” Dipper said. “I have a twin sister, Mabel.”

“Cool.” Emira pulled a pixie out of her hair and ripped it in half. “Twins have to stick together, you know?”

—

“I murdered so many pixies.” Mabel said. “Now that these guys are finally gone from the plant homeroom, we can do something fun! Look at plants!”

“Oh yeah.” Willow said. “There's a lot of plants here. Wanna know all about them?”

“Sure.” Mabel said. “Can I touch this one?”

Willow laughed. “Only if you want your hand eaten.”

Mabel touched it anyway. Predictably, the plant ate her hand and Willow had to tickle it to get it to let go of Mabel.

—

Dipper and Emira fought off the remaining pixies while Luz freed Edric. Dipper and Emira sat down on a bench, catching their breath.

“Wow, you were super cool back there!” Dipper said.

Emira chuckled. “I'm always cool.” She said.

“Wanna hang out later?” Dipper asked.

“Sure.” Emira said. “It beats cleaning up after my dorky brother.”

“Hey!” Edric shouted.

“Ooh, I know.” Emira continued. “We should go mess with the Coven history museum. Does tomorrow at 4 pm work for you?”

“Sure, sure.” Dipper said, chuckling awkwardly. Emira left and dragged her brother away.

“Ooh, looks like someone has a crush.” Luz teased.

“Shut up Luz.” Dipper said.

—

“And that's how I escaped from a Colombian prison.” Stan finished telling his story.

Eda laughed. “Oh, you think that's impressive? Just wait until you hear my stories about outrunning the law.”

“Can't be crazier than mine.” Stan said. “Marylin, you've only had one fake identity. I've had like 40.”

Eda laughed. “That's what you think, Slatney. Believe it or not, I've been in some crazy places.”

The door opened, and Luz, Ford, Mabel, Dipper, Gus, and Willow walked in, covered in pink glitter.

“Woah, you kids look like you had a crazy day.” Stan said. “What's with all the glitter?”

“It's pixie blood.” Dipper said. “We had to fend off a pixie infestation.”

“It was quite fascinating, studying the strange occurrences at Hexside.” Ford said.

“Yeah, also me and Ford are best buds now.” Gus said. “He tells me about the human world, and I tell him about the demon world.”

“I also have a new friend!” Mabel said. “Her name is Willow. She's been teaching me all about plants.”

“Hello.” Willow said. “You must be Mabel’s Grunkle Stan?” She held out her hand to shake.

“I like this kid.” Stan accepted the handshake. “She has manners.”

“Oh, another thing.” Luz said. “Dipper’s got a girlfriend.”

“What?” Dipper exclaimed. “Emira is not my girlfriend!”

Mabel chuckled. “Emira and Dipper, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-”

Dipper pulled a magnet gun out of his coat. “I could rip your braces out of your mouth with this.”

“What?” Mabel exclaimed. “How do you still have that?”