Archive of Our Own ^beta

Seungmin liked to think of himself as a very mature, rational person, someone who was responsible, trustworthy. He liked following rules, being neat, but he also tried his best to be considerate of others’ feelings.

His friends called him a control freak, sometimes a robot, with the way he was so methodical about his things and following rules he had made up for himself, but he liked to think he was just very organized.

After all, that was why he had always been good at school. He had always done his homework without complaining, and he was pretty good at it as well, and because of that he had found himself in one of the top universities of the country studying law.

Because of his discipline, he had never missed a lesson, his coursework was impeccable, and he got the max score every time. Except in one subject. And really, why the fuck was it compulsory for him to take a math class? It made no sense. He had never really struggled with math before, but in his humble opinion the professor was shit, and the things they were studying were much more advanced than anything he had ever done before.

He had met up with his professor countless of times, he had studied with other students, researched online, but nothing ever stuck.

“May I suggest you study with the TA of this course? He’s very busy, that’s why he’s never come to class, but he helps me behind the scenes,” his professor said the tenth time Seungmin showed up asking for clarifications at the end of class. “I can give you his academic email, tell him I sent you, he won’t say no.”

“Alright, thank you,” he said, at that point defeated and willing to try anything to get a good grade in that stupid, useless subject.

The professor wrote it down for him, then gave him the piece of paper and went back to his computer, effectively putting an end to the conversation.

Seungmin took his leave and went straight to the library to study, but before getting started on that he opened his email and started typing.

‘Good afternoon,

I’m Kim Seungmin, I follow the math course with professor Choi. He told me you would be the perfect person to tutor me. I’m not failing the class, but there are some things I can’t seem to grasp and would greatly appreciate the extra help. I promise it won’t take long, I just need someone different to explain it to me.

He said you are very busy, so if you can squeeze me in somewhere I will make it work.

Sorry for the bother, have a good day,

Kim Seungmin.’

He hit send, then put his phone down and started studying.

He forgot about the email for the whole afternoon, and when he checked his inbox at the end of his studying session, he was surprised to find a new message waiting for him.

‘Hello, Seungmin.

I am quite busy at the moment, but if you say it won’t take long, I might find some time for you. I’m getting two degrees at the moment, the second one being a music one, so if you manage to come to the studio I’m working at around seven in the evening I should be free. Does that work for you?’

Seungmin just blinked down at his phone, unable to quite grasp it. He thought he was an overachiever, but that guy was studying two different things at the same time, on top of being a TA.

‘Thank you so much. Seven works perfectly fine. When do you think you’ll be free?’

His first tutoring session was finally there, and Seungmin was so hopeful to finally understand more, but when he got there and saw how his tutor looked like, he started doubting it. The thing was, Bang Chan was the most attractive man he had ever laid eyes on, and while he usually never cared about how people looked, and he had never considered himself to be sex driven, he had also never felt quite so attracted to anyone before.

Chan’s face was perfection, he looked so… stern, which for some reason was a turn on for him, but also kind. His eyes seemed so soft, and he had the best lips he had ever seen.

“Hello, Seungmin,” Chan said, his voice gentle, soft. Fuck, he was not going to retain a single thing he heard from him if he spoke that way.

“Uh, hi. I, uh, brought some food, if you want. I’ll pay you, obviously, I just thought it’s dinner time and you should eat. I mean,” he stopped his rambling, feeling his whole face burn in shame, but Chan just started smiling, and fuck were those dimples?

“That’s fine, thank you. Let’s get started, then. I contacted professor Choi to have your assignments and see what you’ve been struggling with. I haven’t had the time to go through it just yet, I was thinking we can start with that and you can tell me what you didn’t understand about the exercise. Sounds good?”

“Sure, perfect,” he said. He was pretty sure he would have agreed to anything in that moment, to be honest.

“Great. I get the papers and you take out the food, wouldn’t want it to get wasted.”

Seungmin did just that, focusing so hard on not making a mess and spilling on himself. He wouldn’t have been able to handle humiliating himself in front of such a hot man.

The session went by fast, and surprisingly easy. Seungmin did not embarrass himself too much even though he always took too long to answer any question Chan had for him, but overall, it was a success, and by the end of it he felt much more at ease.

“I’m recording with my friends tomorrow, so they might still be here around seven. You can either come a bit later, or worst case scenario wait around a little bit,” Chan said at the end of their tutoring session.

“That’s not an issue. Can I watch? I’ve always wanted to sing, actually, but it wasn’t really family approved so, here I am,” he said with a little shrug.

Chan smiled sadly at that, nodding. “Yeah same, that’s why I ended up picking it as a second degree. Thankfully I got a scholarship with my swimming.”

Oh fucking hell. Was there one bad thing about that guy? Maybe he hated puppies, that could very well be.

“Oh really? Wow, no wonder you’re so busy.”

Chan chuckled, seemingly a bit embarrassed at the subtle praise. “Yeah, but I like it, after moving here from Australia I was missing home too much, I needed to keep busy. I miss my little Berry so much. She’s a dog, by the way.”

Seungmin had to leave before he got hard. Chan ticked off all his requirements in a perfect partner – requirements he had purposefully made impossible to meet, as an excuse to stay single for as long as possible and be able to focus on his academics.

“Oh, so you’re Australian?” Why was he asking more questions? He had to go.

“Yup, I was born here, then we moved and I came back on my own, but I consider Sydney my home.”

“Do you want to go back once you’re done studying?”

“I honestly don’t know. I’m building a career for myself here right now, I have friends, but who knows. I think if I found the right person, I’d stay here for them with no issue.” So he was single. Great, just what Seungmin needed to know, yes.

“That makes sense.”

“I’m still young, I don’t have my whole life planned out just yet, these things can change so suddenly. I might meet someone from France and decide to move there, who knows.”

Now that was something Seungmin couldn’t understand. His life was planned to the smallest detail. He knew what he was going to do even single day for the following two years, what jobs he wanted to apply for, the car he wanted to buy. “That’s good, keeping your options open.”

“Doesn’t sound like you really think it,” he said, amused.

“It’s not for me. I don’t like uncertainty, I need to have a plan. And if it changes it has to be adapted as soon as possible.”

“Bit of a control freak, are you?” he asked, not really teasing.

He scoffed at that. “My friends would say it’s an understatement.”

Chan chuckled, his eyes crinkling slightly. “I can see that.”

“Well, uh, I guess I will let you be, and see you tomorrow?”

“Sure, if anything comes up and I’m super late I will- can I have your number? Much easier if I have to warn you on short notice.”

“Of course, sure,” he said. It was just to study, Chan was not asking him his number to text with him. He was probably going to delete it as soon as they were done with the tutoring sessions. He grabbed Chan’s phone after the other man had unlocked it and opened his contacts, and he wrote down his number, checking it once he was done. “There you go.”

“Great, thanks. Have a good evening, Seungmin.”

“Thanks, you too.” He quickly gathered up his things, and left the room with his heart pounding.

For the following three weeks he saw Chan twice a week, at seven on the dot, in his studio. He only got to see him work twice, and he had met his friends a couple of times, and that had only made him like the other man more, even though he was still in denial and kept pretending he just found him interesting and was maybe jealous of how much Chan seemed to be accomplishing.

So when he saw Chan at a party with a pretty girl hanging off his arm, he really had no reason at all to feel his stomach drop.

“You’re staring,” Minho said, gaining his attention. He smiled sadly at him, already having caught up to the fact that he was at the very least interested in Chan.

“Let’s go drink,” he said, hoping his friend would just play along.

“You can’t bury your problems with alcohol.”

“What problems?” He smiled innocently at him even though he knew it wasn’t going to work.

“Fine, I’ll get you drunk and then I’ll make you spill.”

Minho hadn’t been joking. In one hour, he had shoved three drinks in his hands, and Seungmin was starting to feel as if his body was heavy and light at the same time, like it wasn’t a part of him anymore.

He started wandering around, escaping from Minho’s keen eyes when the man got distracted. He wasn’t sure where he was going, he just wanted to… find Chan, really.

Maybe if he saw him kissing that girl, it would have helped him get over the other man sooner. It wasn’t like Chan had ever shown any interest in him anyway.

“Hey, pretty.” Someone grabbed his hand, pulling him backwards, and his drunken body wasn’t able to keep straight, so he fell into the person, who immediately wrapped their arms around his waist.

“What?” he mumbled, confused, as he tried getting away, but all he could do was squirm in his grasp, no strength left in his body.

“Thought I’d never get you alone,” he kept going, his lips way too close to his ear.

“I don’t know you.” He tried getting free once more, but the guy didn’t budge, just held him tighter, pressing their bodies even closer together.

“You will soon, dance with me.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Seungmin felt the arms slowly loosening up around him, and suddenly he was being pulled sideways. He wasn’t sure what was happening, but it wasn’t like he had much control over the situation, nor his body, so he just followed the movement, hoping this second person was actually going to help him.

“Touch him again and you’re done.” And it suddenly hit Seungmin that he knew that voice, and when he mustered the force to turn his head, Chan’s profile came into view. “Let me get you out of here, Seungmin.” He wrapped a protective arm around his waist, and gently guided him through the crowd and outside the house where the party was being held. “Are you okay?” he asked as soon as they were outside, the music still loud but less intense.

Seungmin took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but there were people smoking, and he immediately started coughing, which only served to make him nauseous.

“I’m gonna throw up,” he warned.

“Fuck.” Chan simply dragged him away and to a more secluded place, and Seungmin leaned forward, his hand on the wall, as he coughed and sputtered, but thankfully nothing else came up. “You’re okay, you’re safe now,” Chan said, rubbing his back soothingly.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, the reality of things catching up to him. He felt so embarrassed.

“Not your fault. Did you know him?”

He shook his head, and finally straightened up, leaning his back against the wall.

“What an asshole.” Chan’s hand stayed on him, rubbing his arm, his face so serious.

“Thank you.”

“Of course. I saw you stumbling away from your, uh, friend? But you didn’t seem very lucid.”

“I get clumsy when I’m tipsy, but I’m not that drunk,” he said, also because what had happened had definitely sobered him up. “Fuck, Minho.” He struggled a bit but managed to get his phone out of his pocket, and immediately saw a missed call from his friend and a couple of texts.

‘I’m outside.’ He texted back, hoping Minho would see it and not get into freak mode.

“Ya, Kim Seungmin,” Minho basically shouted not even ten seconds later, coming his way. “What the fuck? Why would you run away from me? Are you okay?” he asked, his anger quick to transform into worry once he saw the state he was in.

“He’s fine, a guy was being a bit too handsy so I brought him outside and then he started feeling nauseous,” Chan filled him in since Seungmin had subtly moved away from his friend and closer to him.

“What? Who was it? I will set his car on fire.”

Seungmin chuckled, finally feeling a bit better and not like his friend was going to jab him in the stomach, so he got closer to him and grabbed his wrist. Minho was not big on physical touch, he usually only offered up his wrist for him to hold when they were in busy places. “I’m fine, don’t worry. Chan got there before anything happened.”

“I don’t care.”

“I know you don’t, but I need you out of jail, we share rent.”

“Fair,” he conceded, finally deflating. “I should get you home.”

“Do you guys need a lift? I drove here,” Chan offered.

“Well, if it’s not an issue,” Minho said. “I’m Minho, by the way,” he introduced himself now that he was calm.

“Chan, I tutor him, we know each other,” he said.

“Oh, I know.”

Seungmin just bumped into him, hoping he would shut up, and thankfully he did. “Are you sure it’s not an issue?” he asked Chan, distracting him from what his friend had just said.

“Of course it’s not. But I’m here with my friends so I have to warn them that I’m leaving for a bit.”

“You really don’t have to if you plan on coming back.”

“I don’t mind, I wasn’t having much fun anyway, at least I will pass the time,” he insisted with a smile.

“Alright then, thank you.”

“Let’s go.”

Facing Chan at the following tutoring session was harder than anticipated. He was so embarrassed at having been caught so drunk, not to mention almost throwing up in front of him.

He went to the studio with an extra slice of cake and a drink, hoping it would distract Chan enough.

“Hello, Seungmin. How are you feeling?” he asked, his smile bright when he spotted him.

“All good, you?” he asked, unable to make eye contact.

“Alright, just tired, the usual,” he said, his voice cheerful as always.

“I brought you a piece cake. As a thank you slash sorry,” he said, setting the bag on top of the table.

“What for? Seungmin, you have nothing to apologize for, you’re young and in college, you are allowed to drink and have fun without worrying about creepy guys touching you.”

“Still.”

“No, none of this, it wasn’t your fault. But I’m glad it ended well and I got there in time, it really wasn’t an issue,” he insisted.

“Alright, then. I don’t even drink usually, I was just in a mood,” he said, still feeling like he had to justify himself.

“Is that mood over now?” Chan asked, seemingly genuinely interested.

“I guess,” he said with a little shrug. “I’m sorry, I’m wasting your time, we should start.”

“I’ll be honest, I have a killer headache because I have not eaten all day, how about we skip today’s session and go grab some dinner?”

“Uh?” What? Had he hard that right?

“Just dinner. Your boyfriend won’t mind, right?”

“My what now?” he asked. Did he have a boyfriend? He for sure would have remembered that.

“What’s his name, Minho.”

“Oh god no,” he said, cringing. “Bleah, why would you put that image in my brain?” he asked, his voice whiney.

“Sorry?” he asked, but he looked way too amused.

“Minho is… I guess my best friend? But our relationship is weird, we would never admit to that. We also live together, but that’s it.”

“I see. So dinner is fine?” he asked again.

“You can go home and rest if you have a headache.”

“But I don’t mind spending time with you.”

And who was Seungmin to tell him no? “Alright then.”

“Is it okay if I leave the cake here for Jisung?”

“It’s your cake now, I don’t mind.”

“Thanks. Don’t want to eat too much before dinner but I don’t want it to go to waste. I’ll l text him to come pick it up.” He got his phone out, while Seungmin got ready to leave once more. “Okay, let’s go.”

They made their way outside the room, and they were almost at the end of the corridor when a running Jisung passed by them. “Thank you Seungmin,” he said as he went, making both boys laugh.

“Cute,” he commented, endeared. He hadn’t spent that much time with him, but what little he had seen of him and Changbin he had liked a lot. Both men were super funny but also very hardworking, he really liked the bond the three of them had, how they relied on one another.

“He is occasionally very cute. A pain in the ass, but cute,” Chan said, his voice that of a tired parent who loved their troublemaker child a lot. Yes, it made a lot of sense in Seungmin’s mind.

“I know the type, I have one of my own,” he said, way too fond, as he thought about his friend Jeongin.

“Yeah? What are your friends like?”

“There are three of them I spend most of my time with. Minho, who’s a dick, my sweet angel Felix, who’s the kindest person I know, and the little demon Jeongin. I think you’d actually like all of them. Lix is also from Australia, he moved here to study, learned the language all on his own as well, with a bit of help from Minho.”

“He is? I’m in a group chat full of Australians, he should definitely join.”

“He would love that. I’ll ask him.”

“Let me know, I’ll add him,” he said, looking so genuinely excited at the idea. God, he looked like such a puppy, he was adorable. “So, where to?” he asked once they stopped in front of his car.

“I’m fine with whatever, really.”

“Mmh, okay, I know a place.”

The drive took very little time, and they spent it talking about their upcoming exams and all the things they had to study. Chan even offered to meet up outside of their usual schedule to study together at the library, maybe with their respective friends.

The night went by fast, way too fast, but that was normal considering how much fun Seungmin was having. Chan was funny, smart, charismatic, he was sweet and always knew the right thing to say, and he listened to him, he even gave him the time to think about what he wanted to say.

By the end of it Seungmin’s face hurt from all the laughing, his stomach was full, and he felt warm all over, just so happy.

Chan drove him home, his smile big as he waved at him through the window, and Seungmin basically skipped up the stairs, feeling so light.

“Why do you look so… dumb? No, sorry, that was ruder than I had meant it to be. Your smile is just very big and stupid?” Minho said from the sofa, clearly frustrated with himself and his own choice of words.

“Geez, thanks,” he said, but he was laughing, because he knew what Minho meant, and he felt exactly like that: dumb, stupidly happy. “I went to dinner with Chan. It wasn’t a date, I know that, but-“ he stopped, sighing dreamily. “He is so great, Minho.” He finally let himself fall down on the sofa, putting his feet on Minho’s lap.

“Do you have a crush, Min?” he asked, teasing.

“Fuck, I think so. I feel so giddy around him. It’s scary.”

Minho’s smile softened, and he rested a hand on his knee. “He seems like a good guy.”

“Yeah, he is a little bit too good to be true, to be honest. Besides, he was with that girl,” he said, his enthusiasm killed just like that. “What am I doing?” He reclined his head back, covering his face with his hands.

“Hey, you never know. He seemed really concerned about you the other night, and he kept touching you.”

“He’s just a tactile person. Oh god, this is going to crush me.”

“Okay don’t be dramatic now. Wait a bit before calling defeat.”

“I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t even think about this. I have exams coming up. By the way, Chan invited us all to study together.”

“Who is us all?”

“You, Lix and Innie, and his friends.”

“And why is that?” he asked, confused by the sudden invite.

“I don’t know, it came up. And I think Lix would like him, he is also from Australia, and he is in a group chat with Australian students, he said he can add Lix if he wants.”

“He’d love that. Alright, guess I can push through for my little angel.”

“Me? Aww, so sweet of you.”

Minho rolled his eyes before throwing a pillow his way, then just resumed his movie, and Seungmin stayed there, his feet resting on his friend’s lap.

Their big study gathering happened less than a week later. Seungmin was trying his best not to get too excited, he knew he had to keep his distance and keep it cool. The four of them got there first and managed to score a big table at the end of the room, away from everyone else, they all sat on the same side, leaving the four other chairs free for Chan and his friends.

“Here they are,” he said, once he spotted Chan. He recognized Jisung and Changbin immediately, but the fourth man was not one he had ever seen before.

“Holy fucking shit,” Felix said, very eloquently. “He’s massive, I need him.”

Seungmin burst out laughing, while Minho was too busy staring at someone, and Jeongin tried to busy himself with a book. An upside-down book. God his friends were such losers.

“Hey,” Chan said, stopping in front of him with a big smile.

“Hi,” Seungmin said back, unable not to smile back. Fuck Chan and his dimples.

“Uh, I’m Chan,” he introduced himself to the rest of the table, “and these are Jisung, Changbin, and Hyunjin.”

The three guys all said hi, Jisung looking adorably shy for the first time since Seungmin had known him.

“Seungmin,” he introduced himself, mainly for Hyunjin’s sake, “this is Minho, Felix, and Jeongin.”

“Who is the least likely to get distracted by my fidgeting?” Jisung asked, looking at the table at large.

“I volunteer,” Minho said, looking up at him with a smile that promised nothing good.

Jisung seemed to blush a bit under the attention but he still sat down in front of him, Chan took the seat right in front of Seungmin, while Changbin sat down in front of Felix, and Hyunjin took the last chair in front of Jeongin.

“Are you the Australian one?” Chan asked Felix while everyone else started getting their things out and ready for an afternoon of studying.

“I am,” he said, lighting up.

“Where are you from?” he asked, his face one of pure happiness.

“Take it outside,” Changbin said, slapping Chan’s arm lightly.

“Sorry. Coffee break?”

“Sure, why not,” Felix said, agreeing easily even though they hadn’t even started yet, and he hated coffee.

Seungmin couldn’t help but stare at him, feeling his chest tighten the more they walked away. Of course Chan would adore Felix, he had been the one to suggest it, but it still hurt. Felix was bright, happy, a joy to be around. He was spontaneous, extroverted, he was funny. And so, so pretty.

He looked down at his own book, unable to focus on anything at all.

Minho sneaked a hand to his arm, and left it there in silent support.

He did his best to study, to try and retain any information at all, but after thirty minutes Chan and Felix still weren’t back, and he was feeling so stupid over the way he was reacting.

“Min, can you help me?” Jeongin asked, moving to sit beside him, his pout adorable. Fucker.

“What is it?” he asked, easily giving in.

“This math problem.”

“I’m definitely not the best person, then.”

“I can try, I’m pretty good at it,” Changbin offered at that.

“He is surprisingly smart,” Jisung said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Changbin asked, throwing an eraser his way.

“Your face looks very stupid,” he said, unfazed, making everyone snicker.

“Said hamster boy.”

“That’s what you reminded me off,” Minho said, his voice way too loud.

“Excuse me?” Jisung said, taken aback.

“You look like a little hamster. Or a squirrel, when they stuff their cheeks. Cute.”

Jisung blinked at him, so clearly confused. “Are you saying I look like a rodent?”

“I am. But a cute one,” he rushed to clarify, as if that made it any better. It probably did in Minho’s head.

“Don’t worry, in his language this is the highest compliment. He once called me Pochacco, and to this day he insists it’s the nicest thing he’s ever said to me,” Seungmin reassured him.

“Well Pochacco is quite cute,” Changbin agreed.

“See?” Minho said, looking way too proud.

“Not this again,” Jeongin groaned, standing up to occupy Chan’s spot.

“It really wasn’t meant to be rude,” Minho said, his focus back on Jisung as his ears slowly turned red. Interesting.

“Alright, thanks, I guess. It could have been worse.”

They went back to studying a bit longer after that, then Seungmin decided he had had enough of pretending, so he asked everyone if they wanted anything and got up to go to the coffee shop to get everyone a drink, Jisung trailing behind him, seemingly very happy about taking a break.

“So, uh, your friend Minho,” he asked as soon as they were outside the library.

“Single but weird, as you’ve probably already noticed. Also one of the nicest people I know, even though he denies it and he tries hard not to let it show how much he cares.”

“He does seem very protective of you. Chan told me about what happened last week, how concerned Minho had looked. Are you interested in him?”

“God, no.”

“Sorry, my mouth can’t keep up with my brain. I meant Chan.”

“Ah. He’s my tutor,” he said, hoping Jisung would not ask more questions.

“It’s not an answer.”

“I’m someone who likes to play it safe, and Chan makes me feel very out of control,” he said, leaving it up to Jisung to interpret his answer.

“So yes.”

He didn’t reply, there was no need to.

“He’s not into Felix, I can promise you that. He is like this with all his Australian friends, he just gets very excited at the idea of talking to someone who grew up in the same place as him.”

“He was with a girl at the party,” he said, hoping Jisung could clear that up for him.

“Just a drunk friend, I was there too.”

“Still. I don’t think he’d like me, and I don’t think we’d be compatible.”

“Why not? I think you two would work great together.”

He just shrugged, and thankfully this time Jisung dropped it and stopped talking. They finally got to the coffee shop, but immediately Seungmin wanted to leave. Chan and Felix were pressed together, looking down at one of their phones, giggling and laughing as if they had known each other forever.

He wasn’t sure why it hurt that much, it wasn’t like he was in love with Chan, or like the other man had ever shown interest in him.

He was quick to advert his gaze, and he made his way to the counter, ready to order, Jisung walking beside him.

They started talking about class, just to pass the time as the line moved slowly, all the students desperate for some caffeine as they tried to study, and then finally managed to order, asking for some cardboard cup holders as well.

“Hey guys,” Chan said, suddenly showing up behind them as they were still waiting.

They both startled and turned around, making the older laugh.

“Sorry. Do you guys need help carrying it back?”

“No, we got this,” Jisung replied. “Are you guys coming back or what?”

“Yeah, we are meeting up later.”

Seungmin decided to turn back around at that, not really wanting to hear more, or look at Chan.

“Alright. You can go ahead, we will come back shortly.”

“I can wait here if you guys want to go back.”

“No, this is our break, we will enjoy every single second of this.”

“Fair enough. Are you okay?” Suddenly there was a hand on his back, and Seungmin forced himself to turn around and look at Chan, putting on a fake smile.

“Just tired.”

“You do look very tired,” he said with a frown. “I don’t think you should come to the studio anymore, you don’t need me, you should take the time to rest.”

It felt a lot like rejection, like Chan pushing him away. He bit down on his cheek, hoping it wasn’t too noticeable and nodded. “Sure.” He gave him his back again, feeling so close to breaking point. Being tired always made him extra emotional, and that day he was feeling too much.

“Go, we got this,” Jisung said, and suddenly his arm was around his shoulders, as if shielding him from Chan. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just become an emotional mess when I’m tired, I’m not actually this upset,” he said with a sad chuckle. He must have looked so pathetic.

“Alright, then. He looks really worried, though.”

“I doubt he cares that much.”

He was saved from talking more by their order being called, so they picked it up and made their way back in silence, Seungmin lost in his own head, and Jisung giving him the time and space he needed.

Once back everyone seemed to sigh in relief, thankful for the caffeine and the short break.

“You look worse than you did before,” Minho commented, resting a hand on his arm as he looked into his eyes.

“Thanks, you’re so sweet,” he deadpanned.

“You know what I mean. Are you okay? Need a nap?”

“Can you-“ he stopped, because he knew it was absurd.

“What?”

“Hug?”

“From me?” Minho asked, batting his eyes his way, confused. He peeked over his shoulder to look at where Felix was immersed in a conversation with Chan, then nodded. “Alright.” He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, and rubbed his back.

Seungmin relaxed in the embrace, even though it was a bit awkward and he knew Minho wasn’t fully comfortable. 

“Oh, hug?” Felix wrapped around his back, his head resting on his. “You okay, Seungminnie?”

“Yeah, don’t worry.” He straightened up, pushing Felix away, but thankfully his friend didn’t notice and just went with it.

“I can drive you home if you want,” Minho offered.

“No, I need to study some more.”

“You’re not even focused, you kept sighing.”

He cringed at that, at having been so obvious. “Sorry.”

“Not what I meant. I can drive you back,” he offered again.

He just shook his head, then looked down at his book. He was going to sit there and study. Nothing had ever distracted him from his exams, and he wasn’t about to let a stupid crush do that.

“Fine. Stubborn.”

They spent another hour and a half studying, until Jisung started whining that he was tired and oh so bored, and wanted to walk a bit.

“I’ll come, my legs are killing me,” Minho said, standing up before Jisung could even comprehend what was happening.

His eyes immediately widened, making him look like a little animal caught by a big bad prey. Yeah, Seungmin could see the rodent now. “Uh, sure, okay.”

“Let’s go.”

Minho walked around the table and to Jisung, and they quickly made their way outside, while the whole table looked at them.

“We all felt that, right?” Hyunjin asked.

“Definitely,” Jeongin agreed. “Besides, Minho is not the friendliest person in the world, pretty telling he just left with him.”

“Cool. Bets?” Changbin asked.

“I give them a month and a half to date,” Jeongin said.

“Nah, they kept looking at each other while studying, pretty sure they kept bumping their feet together as well. I give it maybe a month,” Seungmin said.

“For real?” Felix asked, way too amused.

“Yeah. You know Minho is weird, Jisung matches him so well.”

As expected, Minho and Jisung did not return for a whole hour, and when they did it was only because Seungmin had texted them to let them know they were ready to leave.

“I’ll take you home, then I’m going out with Jisung,” Minho informed him.

“I can take him,” Chan offered at that.

“Aren’t you meeting up with Felix?” he asked, hoping it didn’t sound too bitter.

“It’s not an issue, he can ride with us-“

“I’ll take him,” Minho decided, not letting him finish. “Got everything?” he asked, resting a hand on Seungmin’s back.

“Think so.”

“Okay. Jeongin, you coming with us?”

“Yes.”

“Okay my little ducklings, let’s go. Bye everyone.”

The four of them made their way outside, Jisung and Minho pressed together at the front, talking.

“They are kinda cute,” Jeongin commented, his smile soft.

“I guess.”

“They are, you’re just bitter. You should tell Lix, by the way. I don’t want you to resent him. Do it before he gets attached to Chan.” And honestly, fuck his friends for being so good at reading him. Or maybe he just sucked at hiding his feelings, after all even Jisung had noticed how sad he had looked.

“Chan doesn’t like me, and he is a great guy, I know he could make Felix happy,” he said, because no matter how much it hurt, he knew it was the truth.

“Seungmin,” he said, sounding so genuinely sad for him.

“It’s fine, I don’t have the time for this anyway.”

“I don’t want to see you hurting.”

“I’ll survive, it’s not that deep.”

Seungmin was struggling. The oncoming exams were kicking his ass, but at least they kept him busy, what was truly breaking him was Felix constantly talking about Chan, meeting up with him, going to places together, texting him.

He tried avoiding those conversations, leaving the room whenever he brought him up, but it never stopped hurting, especially now that he wasn’t really seeing Chan anymore.

It was just his luck to enter a coffee shop and find Felix and Chan already there, sitting close to each other, laughing about something. He did his best to get lost between the crowd, to not be seen. He managed to order just fine, but then he couldn’t get to the counter in time, and the waiter shouted his name out loud, gaining his friends’ attention.

“Seungmin,” Felix rushed to him, his smile bright. “Hey. Wanna stop with us?”

“I’d rather not.”

“Uh? Why not? You’ve been so distant lately. Is everything okay?”

“I just have a lot to study for,” he lied.

“That’s not it, I know you,” he said, his expression sad, hurt.

“Then can you please let me go? Please?” he begged, hating how much his eyes were burning already. He wasn’t going to cry, he was not.

“Min?” Felix looked so worried, so genuinely concerned for him, and it just made him feel worse. Felix was an amazing person, so sweet and caring, he deserved someone like Chan by his side.

“Seungmin?” Chan showed up behind Felix, his face worried.

“I have to go.” He tried leaving, but Chan wrapped his hand around his wrist and stopped him. “Please,” he whispered. He was at breaking point, he knew he was about to lose it.

“No, sit with us for a moment, I’m not letting you go like this,” Chan insisted, then started walking him to a table. They all sat down, Chan staying close to him and Felix in front of them.

“Have you been eating?” Felix asked, still looking so worried.

“Minho forces me to.”

“Good. Sleeping?”

“Not much,” he admitted. He was always studying to keep himself busy, and then at night if he wasn’t tired enough he kept thinking about Chan. It was ridiculous, really, he didn’t even know him that well, he wasn’t spending time with him at all, yet there he was, pining like an idiot.

“Are you sick?” Chan rested the back of his hand on his forehead, then frowned. “You feel really hot.”

“He gets stress fevers,” Felix said.

“You should be home, in bed,” Chan said, his tone scolding. “Let me take you back.”

“I have stuff in the library.”

“I’ll go get it. Lix, can you keep him company?”

“Of course.”

“I’ll be right back.” Chan was quick to stand up and leave, and immediately Seungmin relaxed a bit at not having him so close anymore.

“Want to tell me what it is?” Felix asked now that they were alone.

He shook his head, keeping his eyes cast low on the table. “I don’t.”

“I’d like to know anyway. It seems like lately you’re avoiding me, and I don’t like it. Have I done something to upset you?”

“It’s not your fault,” he said, hating the idea of that stupid situation hurting his friend.

“I’d still like to know,” he said, his tone so sweet, patient.

He sighed, because he knew that eventually it would have come out. “I have a crush on Chan. But I know it’s not mutual, so if you like him, go ahead. I will get over it eventually, you know how I get when I’m stressed, I’m mostly emotional because of that.”

“What? Min, no, I don’t like Chan.”

“No?” he asked, surprised, finally lifting his head to look at his friend.

“Definitely not. I mean he is very nice and sweet and all that, but honestly, you think I’m stupid? I knew you liked him, he was off-limits the moment you mentioned him.”

“But if he were to say that he likes you?” he wondered.

“Beside the fact that I don’t think it will ever happen, I don’t care, you’re one of my best friends. I’m sorry you’ve been hurting because of me, I can distance myself from him.”

“That wouldn’t be fair, I can see you have fun with him. I know how much you miss home.”

“Still. I hate seeing you like this. I had no idea it was my fault.”

“I wouldn’t say it was your fault. It just hurt knowing he will never like me back,” he explained.

“But you don’t know that.”

“I do,” he said, looking down at his own coffee. “It’s fine, not like I have the time for this.” Or well, that was what he had been trying to tell himself.

“You deserve to find happiness and love too, okay?”

“Maybe one day,” he said with a little shrug, as if he didn’t care.

“Here I am.” Chan came back with Seungmin’s bag swung over his shoulder and his smile a bit tense. “Ready to go?”

“I guess.” He stood up slowly, feeling a bit dizzy.

“Text me if you need anything, okay?” Felix said, pulling him in for a hug.

“Are you not coming with us?” Chan asked. Seungmin tried not to think that he looked disappointed.

“No, I have stuff to do. Get him home in one piece.”

“Of course. Bye.” He pulled him in for a quick hug, and Seungmin started walking away, not wanting to see. He felt like such an idiot.

“Where are you rushing to? You can barely stand.” Chan was immediately by his side, his arm wrapped around his waist. “Let me look after you, stop fighting this.”

“You know I won’t.” He couldn’t let Chan so close, he was already hurting too much.

“I know, but I don’t know why. I mean I know that technically I’m still the TA of your course, but I thought we were somewhat friends.”

Somewhat friends. Ouch.

“Chan, I really don’t want to talk, please,” he begged. He was starting to get a headache as well, he just wanted to get home and take a good nap.

“Fine, for now.”

The ride home was quiet and tense, and Seungmin almost sighed in relief when he spotted his building. He was hoping that was it, but before he could even leave the car Chan had already gotten off and was walking to his side, helping him out.

“Is Minho home?”

“No, out with Jisung,” he admitted despite himself.

“Right, I forgot. Can I walk you upstairs?”

“I’m good.”

“Seungmin,” he simply said.

“Fine.”

Chan rested a hand on his back once more, and slowly guided him to the elevator. They took it up to the third floor, and then went to his apartment, the last on the right. Chan helped him when he fumbled a bit with his keys, he got the door open for them and then walked him to the sofa.

“Do you have a thermometer in here?”

“My room, first drawer.”

“Be right back.” Chan put his bag down on a chair, then rushed to the corridor. “Uh, which room?” he called after a second.

“Right.”

“Thanks.”

He listened as Chan rummaged through his drawer, then his steps coming back towards the living room. He sat down by his side, then silently lifted his arm a bit, sneaked his hand under his shirt and placed the thermometer under his armpit and turned it on.

“Are you cold?”

“A bit.”

Chan grabbed the blanket and wrapped it over his shoulders, pulling it tight at the front. “A little Seungmin burrito,” he said, his smile fond as he looked at him. “Need anything?”

“You don’t have to stay here, bet you have better things to do.”

“I’m taking a day off, my brain was about to explode, so I’m actually free.”

“Still. Then you should rest.”

“I can rest here to make sure you’re fine. I doubt Minho will come home soon if he’s with Jisung.”

“Definitely not.”

“How is he as a partner? I mean, can I trust him with Jisung?”

“Yeah, he’s a great guy, he will treat him very nicely,” he reassured him, unable not to find Chan’s concern endearing.

“Good. How about Felix? How is he as a partner?”

As dramatic as it may have sounded, Seungmin felt his stomach drop at that. He leaned back into the sofa, pulling his legs up to his chest. “He, uh, he’s nice, very sweet. You know him by now. He’s very cuddly,” he added, hating how hard it was to even speak in that moment.

“Good, that’s good to know.”

He took a deep breath, hoping it would just seem like he was tired, and closed his eyes tight. He needed to send Chan away.

The thermometer started beeping before he could think of a good reason to throw him out of the apartment, and Chan was quick to grab it, his warm hands way too close to his naked skin.

“Thirty-eight. Do you have anything for it at home?”

“It helps to just sleep, I guess I’ll take a nap.”

“Okay, then I’ll be really quiet.”

“What?” Surely he wasn’t just going to stay there.

“You won’t even notice me. Want to sleep here or in your room?”

“You don’t have to stay.”

“I don’t mind, I just want to make sure you’re fine and won’t need anything until Minho gets home. So?”

“I don’t feel like moving,” he admitted, giving up on the idea of sending Chan away since it was clear he was not going to leave no matter what.

“Okay then.” Chan helped him lie down on the sofa, then picked up his feet and rested them on his own lap, very gently massaging them. “Sleep, I got you.”

“You don’t-“

“Just sleep,” Chan interrupted his protest.

He mumbled his agreement, and finally closed his eyes. He hated how having all of Chan’s attention was going to his head. Having him there taking care of him, massaging him, being worried. It was messing with his head too much, even though he knew Chan was there as a friend and nothing more, that he didn’t like him that way.

Seungmin woke up to voices, and it took him a moment to realize it was Minho and Chan.

“I got him, you should go,” Minho was saying.

“I want to wait until he wakes up, make sure he’s fine.”

“He will text you if he wants you, there is no need to stay. He’s going to sleep a lot longer.”

“He shouldn’t, it will mess with his body too much.”

“I know how he works when he’s sick, I’ve been living with him for a while now. He will be just fine. Go,” he said, and Seungmin knew he was starting to get upset, annoyed by Chan being there when he knew Seungmin didn’t want him, so he decided to make his presence known.

He started stirring, and slowly opened his eyes. Chan was still sitting with his feet on his lap, while Minho was in front of them, looking very pissed.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Chan was quick to ask.

“Everything hurts,” he admitted.

“I told you you should have stayed home today,” Minho said, rolling his eyes. “Did you take anything?”

“Not yet, I was hoping it would pass after a nap.”

“You dumbass. Sit up slowly, I’m getting you some meds.” He moved to the kitchen, and Seungmin did as told, sitting up with Chan’s help.

“Okay?” Chan asked, staying close to him to make sure he wouldn’t fall to the side.

“Mmh.”

“Here.” Minho put a pill on Seungmin’s outstretched hand, then passed him a glass of water. “I’m ordering you a soup and you are eating all of it, understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good boy.”

“Will you also pet me and scratch my tummy?”

“Keep being a smartass and I will, you know we will both hate every second of it.”

Seungmin chuckled, amused, but didn’t bite back. He knew Minho was right.

“I guess I should go, now that you’re not alone anymore,” Chan said, looking quite uncomfortable when Seungmin turned to look at him.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on me.”

“Of course. Can you text me to let me know how you’re doing?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Alright, bye, then.” He got up, said bye to Minho with a very tense smile, and finally left.

“Are you okay?” Minho asked almost immediately, his smile so sad as he looked at him bundled up in his blanket.

“I guess. Lix told me he’s not interested, that nothing will happen, but I think Chan likes him.”

“I could ask Jisung?” he offered.

“I talked with him last week when we went to grab coffee, he knows I like him, he would have said something. He just reassured me that Chan doesn’t like Felix, but they had just met, I’m sure things have changed in these last ten days.”

“I’m sorry, Seungmin.”

“I knew it wasn’t going to happen, it’s fine,” he said, forcing a tiny smile. “How did it go with Jisung?” he asked, hoping Minho would fall for it and drop it.

Minho lit up immediately, and despite how sad and bitter Seungmin felt, he couldn’t help but smile as well, feeling so happy for his friend. Minho was one of the most selfless people he knew, he had been there for him so many times, and to see him so happy, excited at the idea of clicking with someone, was really special.

“He is so great. We keep talking and never run out of things to say. He’s so incredibly witty, and he just looks so adorable. He got cake all over his lips earlier and his cheeks were full and I legit groaned out loud because he was so cute. He thought it was funny, thank fuck.”

Seungmin chuckled, amused. “He definitely matches your weirdness. So, have you kissed already?”

“I don’t kiss and tell.”

“So yes. Good for you. Let me know if you need me to stay out of the apartment, you know I don’t mind as long as it’s not every evening.”

“Thanks, but now just think about getting better. I actually don’t want to sleep with him so soon, I want to woo him properly first. It’s so weird, he just makes me want to be romantic? I want to take him out on so many dates, maybe it’s because he lights up whenever he sees something he likes, and it’s so nice to see, it makes me feel really happy.”

He full on cringed at that. “Who knew you could be so gross.”

“Fuck off,” he said, but he was laughing, also finding the idea quite hilarious. “I hope you will also be this happy very soon.”

“Thanks.”

He didn’t text Chan for the following two days, hoping the other man wouldn’t actually care that much, but of course he did, because Chan was sweet and kind and he worried about others, so that night when the bell rang and he opened the door to find Chan there, he wasn’t really that surprised.

“Hey.”

“Hi. I know I could have just texted you, but Jisung told me he was going out with Minho tonight so I thought I’d come check on you. How are you?” he asked, for the first time since he had known him looking quite nervous.

“The fever went away, I’m still weak though.”

“You look really pale. Have you eaten already?”

“Not yet.”

He seemed to light up at that, as if he was truly excited. “Can I make you something?”

“You don’t have to, I’m old enough to look after myself.”

“I don’t care, I want to.”

And maybe it was because he was sad and feeling lonely, but he decided to indulge in it, and let Chan inside.

“Felix told me you two suck at cooking, especially when left unsupervised.”

He sighed, because of course he had to mention Felix one second in. “Yeah, somehow we can’t work together. But he is good at baking.”

“Is he? Nice,” he said, not sounding like he really cared much, as he went around his kitchen to find something to make.

“He might make you brownies if you ask nicely enough.”

“I’ll give it a try. So, is Felix single? I never found a way to ask him, it felt a bit odd,” he admitted.

“He is,” he said, his voice barely coming out. Fuck his life. “But I don’t think he’s interested.”

“In dating?” he asked as he filled up a pot, keeping his back to him.

“In you,” he corrected him. He knew it was a dick move, but Felix had promised him he wouldn’t pursue Chan, so.

“Uh? Oh god, no, that’s not what I meant,” Chan said, laughing at the idea. “No, for Bin. He asks me about Felix any time I meet up with him.” He finally turned around, his dimples out as he smiled.

Oh. It didn’t mean that Chan was interested in him, but at least he wouldn’t have had to see them together. Small victories. “Then maybe. Changbin is just his type.”

“Yeah? Think I can set them up on a date? I think they would work great together.”

“I think he’d accept.”

“Great, I’ll ask. You thought I liked him?” he asked, seemingly finding it absurd.

“You two got really close really fast, I thought maybe you were interested in him,” he admitted, already feeling his cheeks burn. He really hoped it wasn’t too obvious.

“Nah, just Aussie boys sticking together. I mean he is really sweet and really nice to be around, but definitely not my type.”

“Makes sense,” he mumbled. He so desperately wanted to ask what his type was, but he knew it wouldn’t have been very subtle.

“What about you?” he then asked as he busied himself once more. Seungmin had no idea what he was doing, but he decided not to question it and just looked at him as he went, trying to ignore the way his chest felt so heavy at watching Chan cook for him.

“Uh?”

“Still single?”

He snorted at that, as if it was the funniest joke in the world. “Definitely.”

“And are you looking for someone?” Chan kept going.

“Not really, but I guess if it were to happen on its own.”

“Do you maybe have someone in mind?” he asked.

“I do. But it’s not mutual,” he confessed.

“Have you asked him?”

“I didn’t have to, I know he’s not into me. I mean, I never think anyone is into me, but he is definitely not,” he said.

“Why do you think that?” Chan asked, and he had a little frown between his eyes when he turned to look at him.

“He is too good for me.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

“What if he liked you back?”

“Then he’d have to tell me, because I’m definitely not doing that, there is no way.” he said, resolute.

“Fair enough. Come help, I want you to learn something, I can’t have you starve to death.”

“I have Minho for that,” he said, but still got up and stood by his side.

He spent the following hour cooking with Chan, the other man always pressed to his side or his back, helping him out even when he didn’t need it.

By the time dinner was ready he was actually hungry for the first time in days, probably thanks to the very inviting perfume coming from the pot.

They ate in silence as a movie played in the background, and once they were done they moved to the sofa, Chan immediately pressed to his side, his arm around his shoulders and a blanket thrown over their legs.

Seungmin hadn’t realized he had fallen asleep until he felt Chan picking him up. He was carried to his room, and carefully tucked in, but he couldn’t really bring himself to speak, to make it known he was awake.

“Good night, Seungmin.” He felt lips press to his head, and then Chan was going, leaving him in his dark room.

He didn’t see Chan for the following week, but the other man texted him every single night to ask how his day had been, if he needed anything, if he had eaten enough. And it was messing with his head so much. He knew Chan didn’t like him back, but.

“Jisung.” He sat down next to him on the sofa, while Minho was cooking for the three of them, and put his phone right under his face.

“What am I looking at?” Jisung asked, confused, until his eyes zeroed in on Chan’s name on the screen. “Chan, okay. What about him?”

“Are his text standard texts for his friends? Am I reading too much into this?”

“I wouldn’t really know, I see him every day so he doesn’t text me much, only when I’m sick or we are separated,” he admitted, as he scrolled through the chat. “But he seems to be quite persistent with you.”

“So I’m reading too much into this.”

“I literally did not say that?” Jisung said, looking so genuinely confused as to how he had come to that conclusion.

“Seungmin is insecure as fuck, don’t worry about it,” Minho said. “Why don’t you invite him over to eat with us?”

“You two don’t get along,” he pointed out.

“I’ll try my best. It’s not that I don’t like him, I don’t like how he makes you feel.”

“Aww, you’re so cute,” Jisung said, making fond eyes his way.

“Okay yes, I definitely need support for this shit.” He grabbed his phone and started typing, hoping Chan would reply and come save him. ‘If I pay you, will you come have dinner at my place? I’m alone with Minho and Jisung, I’m scared dad.’

“Dad? Is that a kink of yours? Bet he’d be into it,” Jisung said, his voice suggestive.

“Fuck off.” He pushed Jisung away, but they were both laughing.

“He replied,” Jisung said, more excited than Seungmin when he noticed the new text.

‘Fuck, who hate you this much to leave you alone with them? I’m on my way, don’t worry. Do I have to bring anything?’

‘Either an iron to knock me out, or alcohol, either works.’

‘Definitely alcohol then. Hold on, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

‘Thanks, my savior.’

‘Anything for you.’

“Oh,” Jisung said, smirking as he read over his shoulder. “You should up your game a bit, see if he responds to your flirting. Chan can also be quite insecure at times, and he can be quite shy. You should push him a bit.”

“You think so?” he asked, still trying not to get his hopes up too much.

“Definitely. I think Bin might know more than I do, since they live together and Chan talks a lot to him, I can ask if you want.”

“I worry he might tell Chan.”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, I got this.” He got his phone out and opened his chat with Changbin, the last text being a photo of Jisung and Chan hugging while asleep on the sofa. ‘Bin, do you think Chan likes Seungmin? I kinda wanna see them together, they are having dinner with Minho and I tonight.’

‘Yeah? Thought it was obvious? But not yet, he’s still his TA, he’s struggling with that at the moment, if you push him now he might lose his shit, you know how he is about following rules.’ Oh. That made a lot of sense, actually.

‘True, thanks. I’ll wait then.’

‘Tell Seungmin I say hi.’

‘I don’t know what you mean Changbin dearest.’

‘Hi Seungmin.’

Seungmin chuckled, amused. “Say hi back.”

‘Hi Changbin. Bye Changbin.’ He put away his phone, his smile so pleased. “Told you. Makes sense that he would worry about that, now that I think about it.”

“Worry about what?” Minho asked, since he was still cooking and was unaware of what was going on.

“Chan likes him but he’s worried about the fact that he’s still the TA of his course. But the exam is coming up soon and then he’ll be done with it, so it will happen soon.”

“That’s true, his professor might not like it. Alright then, guess I can be nice to him from now on. Until you start dating, then we need to have the talk.”

“Minho,” Jisung said, amused.

“What? I also got the talk before I took you out. He stopped me on campus on day and told me to please be careful with you and be nice to you.”

“He did?”

“Yeah. He also asked Seungmin about me, more than once.”

“He did,” Seungmin confirmed. “He really loves you a lot.”

“Aww, he’s so cute when he’s not being a pain in my ass to finish a song.”

Chan got there soon after, two bottles of wine in hand, as well as a small store-bought cake.

“They are eye fucking,” Seungmin complained immediately, wrapping himself around his arm.

“Oh god. You sure you want to stay here?” Chan asked, and while he seemed totally unbothered by Seungmin touching him, his ears had immediately turned red.

“I live here, I’m doomed.” He pouted his way, hoping to buy his sympathy.

“You poor thing,” Chan said, his smile so soft as he looked at him. “You can hide in my room if you need a break from them.”

“I might take you up on that offer.” He finally let go of him, allowing him to come inside to get more comfortable.

“Please do, his room has not seen anyone but him in way too long,” Jisung said from the sofa.

“Fuck off, that’s not true.”

“Hyunjin falling asleep in your bed does not count.”

“Why am I being bullied right now?”

“Baby, stop pestering your friend and come help me,” Minho called him, immediately gaining Jisung’s attention.

“Coming.” He was quick to walk to him, not even putting up a fight, nor sparing Chan another glance.

“What the fuck? Jisung, that’s so bad even for you, he called and you went just like that?”

“Shut up, Seungmin asked you to come rescue him and you went and bought him wine and a cake? You’re no better than I am.”

Chan did not reply, but had the decency of looking guilty.

They went about setting the table while Minho and Jisung plated the food, then they all sat down together, and talked animatedly as they ate. It all felt so good, normal, and Seungmin found himself hoping it would become a normal occurrence, the four of them eating together, as couples.

“Hyunjin wants to know if we want to go out with him tonight,” Jisung informed them as they were finishing the cake.

“I pass, I need to finish revising a math thing,” Seungmin said. Not like he would have gone out anyway, he wasn’t a big fan of loud clubs, he still wasn’t sure how Minho had managed to convince him to go to that party where he had embarrassed himself in front of Chan.

“Not really in the mood either. I could help you, though? I need to work on something as well,” Chan said, his smile so soft as he looked at Seungmin. Okay, maybe he had been too wrapped up in his own self pity to notice Chan’s interest.

“Fine by me.”

“We can go, if you want,” Minho said, his smile sickly sweet as he moved Jisung’s hair out of his face. “Can I call Lix and Innie?”

“Of course, Bin is proper obsessed with him,” he said, just to then go silent, his eyes wide as he realized what he had just said.

“We knew already,” Seungmin reassured him, amused. “Tell him to make a move, Lix likes to be courted.”

“Is he into Changbin, though?”

“Well, the first time you guys entered the library he said, and I quote: ‘he is massive, I need him.’ So I’d say he is interested,” Minho said.

“And you’re sure he was talking about him, yes?”

“Love, he definitely wasn’t talking about you, nor Hyunjin. Chan is quite big but not his type, so that only leaves Changbin.”

“Hey, I’m big,” Jisung said, voice whiney and pout prominent on his lips.

“You are big, where it matters,” he said, patting his arm.

“Oh god, no.” Chan scrunched up his nose, disgusted, while Seungmin fake gagged next to him.

“I meant his heart, you perverts. I haven’t deflowered your friend just yet, don’t you worry.”

“Please stop talking,” Seungmin begged, “I’ll wash the dishes, just stop.”

“I’ll take it. Going to get ready now, do you want to borrow some of my clothes?” he asked Jisung.

“Yes, thanks.” They left the room, giggling among themselves, while Chan and Seungmin started cleaning up.

“They are quite cute, I have to say,” Chan admitted as soon as he was sure they couldn’t hear them.

“They are. They make me so bitter.”

“I know the feeling. Still nothing on your crush’s front?”

“Well, I actually think it’s mutual, or so I’ve been told. But he’s not ready right now, so I will give him some time. Maybe after the exams?” he asked, hoping Chan would give him more to work with.

“That would probably be best. I mean, I’m sure he’s very busy right now, maybe he has some obligations as well.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I will wait, it’s not an issue. Not like it will be long. And then we can even keep it lowkey for a bit longer, until he’s sure and feels better about this.”

“Very good idea,” he agreed, refusing to look up from where he was scrubbing a plate, his ears suspiciously red.

“I know, I’m smart.”

“You are pretty smart. I mean not always, you thought it wasn’t mutual.”

“I’m just very insecure, and he is really, really good looking and also super smart and popular and maybe I should stop,” he said, stopping his rambling by pressing his lips together.

Chan chuckled, but added nothing.

“What do you have to work on tonight?”

“I’m trying to finish a song but I have zero inspiration lately. Maybe being in a different place will help. Or being here with you.”

“You should write a song about the lovebirds in the other room.”

“Maybe, but I’d rather have my own story to tell. Besides, Jisung is a little genius when it comes to writing, bet all his next songs will be about how much he loves his boyfriend.”

“I just realized I’ve never heard anything you’ve written. Can you show me something?”

“Sure, once we’re done.”

By the time the whole kitchen had been cleaned up, Minho and Jisung had left already, so the two remaining boys moved to the sofa, with Seungmin’s books and Chan’s phone.

“This is the first one we ever did together,” Chan said as he started the song.

Seungmin listened closely, quickly getting into it. “Is that Changbin? Wow, I didn’t know he could rap this well.”

“He’s amazing at it. Hannie too, he can keep going forever and so fast, but he actually also has an incredible voice.”

“I like your voice the most, though. It’s very smooth, soft. I like it.”

“Oh, thanks. I still think I lack a lot compared to-“

“Take the compliment and shut up,” he interrupted him.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good boy.” He moved closer to peek down at the phone. “Can I listen to more?”

“Sure, we have a lot of songs. Maybe one day you could sing for us, I remember you saying you wanted to sing.”

“I don’t think I’m that good. I used to take lessons, but then it was becoming too much with all my courses and stuff so I stopped.”

“You should start again,” Chan said, quick to sense just how much he cared about it, and how much he missed singing.

“Maybe.”

“Jisung is still taking lessons, you could go with him. His teacher is really good, he even has idols going there, but the price is reasonable.”

“I might ask him about it.”

“Please do. I know you like to have everything planned to a T, but I think you also need to do things that make you happy, even if they aren’t in your schedule.”

“Unplanned things scare me, I feel so out of control,” he admitted, his voice nothing more than a whisper, as if it was a big secret.

“But they could turn out great, too. They could make you happy.”

“You scare the most,” he said before he could think better of it.

“Me?” Chan asked, taken aback by the sudden confession.

“Yes. You came out of nowhere, threw all my plans in the air. I wasn’t supposed to fall for anyone until I was done studying, I wasn’t supposed to get upset over anyone and lose my time thinking about them instead of my coursework. You messed it all up.”

“I’m sorry. But I also make you happy, right?” he asked, unfazed by what he had just said.

“Now you do.”

“Now?”

“I’ve been miserable these past weeks, I was convinced you were into Felix.”

“Oh, that explains why you were so distant with both of us. No, Min. I’m so sorry.” He got even closer, wrapping his arm around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder. “You can wait until your exam, right? I know it doesn’t make much of a difference, but it would make me feel better, less guilty.”

“I can wait,” he confirmed, leaning his head on his. “I was serious about being lowkey, we can keep it to ourselves for a while if it makes you feel better.”

“Maybe for a bit. I still want to take you out, though. I don’t want us to have to stay holed up in here or in my room.”

“I can live with that.”

“Thank you.” He pressed a kiss to his cheek, then scooted to the end of the sofa. “Now stay right there before I start kissing you.”

“But kisses?” he asked, pouting his way.

“Nope, don’t you dare. Start studying.”

“Fine, but I’m not happy.”

“How about a kiss after every two pages you revise?”

He pretended to think about it, as if it was something he would have turned out. “You know what, I’ll take it.”

“But I will ask you questions, you can't just skim through them.”

“Chan, I’ve been studying my whole life, it’s the thing I know best, don’t worry, I know everything.”

“Oh god, you’re kinda scary. That’s so hot.”

Seungmin just chuckled, amused, and finally opened his book. He was going to get those kisses no matter what.

Seungmin woke up to the noise of the door opening, and his friends giggling, clearly drunk.

He lifted his head, only to realize he had fallen asleep on the sofa, a book on his chest, and Chan curled up at his feet.

“Seungmin!” Jisung shouted, before running to him and jumping on him, not giving Seungmin the time to understand what was going on. “And Chan! My friends.”

“Oh god,” Chan groaned, slowly sitting up. “Minho, I know he’s cute when he drinks, but don’t do this to yourself. He’s so hard to deal with.”

“In my defense, I didn’t know,” Minho said, looking way too amused and definitely tipsy as well. “Jisungie, come here.”

“Oh, there’s my Minho.” He rushed away, almost tripping on his own feet, but Minho managed to catch him, pulling him against his chest to keep him steady. “My savior.”

“C’mon, let’s go brush our teeth and get into bed.”

“Mmh, no,” he said, laughter clear is voice.

“Han Jisung,” Chan said, his voice stern, firm. “Go brush your teeth now. I want you in bed in five minutes.”

“Okay.” He walked away, while Minho just blinked his way.

“Don’t ask how, Bin and I trained him to answer to our commands when he’s drunk.”

“You what?” Seungmin asked, unable not to laugh.

Chan shrugged, his smile bright as he looked at him, even though he was definitely still very sleepy. “Not sure how it happened.”

“Well that’s good to know, definitely very handy. Good night, guys, I’ll try and keep him quiet.”

“Good luck.”

“Wanna sleep over?” Seungmin asked, finally sitting up properly.

“Like on the sofa?”

“If you feel more comfortable here then yes, otherwise we can share my bed, I don’t mind.”

“Would you be comfortable with that?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright then.”

They made their way to his bedroom, listening while Jisung chatted in the bathroom and Minho laughed at every single thing he said, unable to tell him to stop. They waited for them to be done, then took turns getting changed.

In twenty minutes, they were in bed, the lights turned off, both super tense and stiff as they tried not to overstep the imaginary line they had created.

“This is stupid,” Seungmin decided, rolling to his side and moving closer until he was pressed to Chan’s side, his head resting on him, an arm thrown over his stomach.

“This is dangerous,” Chan retorted.

“Why?”

“Because now I just want you even closer.”

“Don’t you know that what happens after three is a secret and the world doesn’t have to know?”

Chan groaned, but did nothing to push him away. “You’re a menace.”

“Eh, I try.”

Chan chuckled, moving to lie on his side as well and hugging him closer. “No, we are waiting. It makes it more fun, exciting.”

“So you like to be edged, got it.”

“Fuck off,” he said, but Seungmin was sure he was blushing. “Turn around, let me hold you.” He started rubbing his side gently, his thumb ending up under his shirt, touching naked skin.

“What if I don’t?”

“I’d make you hold me, because I’m not risking having my face this close to yours.”

“Fair.” He turned in his grasp, and immediately felt his lips tug up in a smile when Chan pressed himself to his back. “This is nice.”

“It is,” he agreed, his hand rubbing his stomach. “Good night, Seungmin.”

“Good night.”

The following days passed in a blur. He was constantly studying, locked up in his room or the library, determined to just get it all over with and then be able to be with Chan. He didn’t see the other man much, but they texted a lot, and that was enough to keep him going, that and the promise they’d be able to kiss soon.

The day of the exam finally rolled around, and Seungmin felt his face light up when he spotted Chan there, next to their professor. He could also definitely see the way everyone was looking his way, the way some of the girls were whispering to one another and then checking him out, but he didn’t care much, not when Chan had also started smiling as soon as he had spotted him.

He decided to walk up to him, since their professor was the one who had introduced them anyway.

“Good morning, professor Choi, Chan,” he said, biting back a smile when Chan seemed to blush a little.

“Seungmin,” professor Choi said, “good luck on the exam today, I’m sure you’ll do great, your assignments were all impeccable.”

“Chan helped a lot. Thank you for introducing us.”

“He really is such a reliable tutor,” the man said, looking quite proud.

“I’ll go sit down. Good bye.” He said bye to both of them, lingering longer on Chan, and then left.

“Seungmin, who the hell is that?” Minji, one of his classmates, asked, leaning down from the seat behind his. And he usually didn’t mind her, she was smart and they had studied together before, but in that moment he wished he had sat anywhere else.

“Chan, he’s the TA and sometimes he tutors people for professor Choi,” he said, not even sparing her a second look.

“He’s so hot. I would have struggled more had I known he was the tutor,” she said with a coquettish laugh.

“He’s very busy, he might not have had the time.”

“So you know him? Can you introduce him to us?” she insisted.

“He’s taken, sorry,” he said, doing his best not to just get up and go sit on Chan’s lap to stake his claim.

“Of course he is, look how hot he is,” another girl said.

He got his phone out at that, feeling the need to text Chan. He was insecure, so what, he needed to remind himself that Chan wanted him.

‘Do you have to stay here? If I hear anyone else say how hot you are I might come there and kiss you.’

He watched as Chan got his phone out, his eyes widening a bit as he read the text, and then his ears turning red, embarrassed. He watched as the dimples fought to come out as Chan bit down on his lips to hold back a smile, and then as he texted back. ‘Behave, if you’re good I’ll take you out after the exam is done, that’s why I’m here anyway.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘The coffee shop you like with the fancy pastries. Then we can walk around a bit, have dinner, and then to my place. Bin is out with Felix.’

Seungmin almost gasped out loud at the text. ‘THAT TRAITOR TOLD ME NOTHING.’

Chan laughed down at his phone at that, and Seungmin smiled to himself, pleased to have caused his laugh. ‘It happened this morning, Bin cornered him before an exam and asked him out.’

‘Okay then, I can live with this.’

Before Chan could reply, the professor got up and silenced the whole class, giving instructions on how to take the exams, what to do, how much time they had and all that.

Seungmin was quick to put his phone away, focusing fully on the task at hand. He knew everything there was to know, Chan had helped him memorize every single little thing, he was pretty confident by that point.

The exam was only one hour long, but Seungmin finished in forty-five minutes, so he went outside to catch some fresh air as he waited for Chan, occasionally chatting with another student who came out after him and wanted to know how he had answered a question or the other.

“So?” Chan asked, sitting down beside him thirty minutes later.

“I think I did well. Will you know before I do?”

“I asked not to go over your exam, I said because I know you and feel a bit biased, he agreed.”

“Fair. But I think it went well, I answered everything.”

“Good job. Let’s go now.”

“Just like this? Together?”

“Yes. Pretty sure everyone has left already anyway.”

“Okay.”

Seungmin couldn’t remember ever feeling so happy, like he was floating, or maybe yes, the first time he had gotten dinner with Chan. He felt so at peace, like there was nothing in the world to worry about. Everything was Chan Chan Chan, and he liked it so much. The other man was so nice, caring, and Seungmin felt like he could truly let go around him. It wasn’t like he didn’t feel that way around his friends, but it was even better with Chan. He felt free to be cuddly, clingy, he knew he could poke fun at him and that Chan would have just taken it and joked along, he knew he could be silly, that he could be stupid if he wanted to and not be judged.

Chan just let him be, and played with him, they bounced off one another so easily.

When they finally left the restaurant, Seungmin was so happy he was almost skipping, but he held back, feeling like that would have probably been a bit too much. It still didn’t change the fact that he felt so giddy, excited about what was to come.

They walked back to Chan’s car holding hands, Seungmin clinging to his arm with his free hand just because. It all felt so right.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smiling this much,” Chan said, opening the door for him but then waiting, letting Seungmin rest against his car.

“I don’t remember ever feeling so happy, to be honest.”

“Yeah? Are you still scared?” he wondered, the hand that was still holding Seungmin’s gently stroking his skin.

“Very, but I don’t think I mind. I like being scared because I’m feeling too much, it’s nice. And I feel out of control, but I feel good knowing it’s because I’m giving in to you.”

“I will be really careful with you, I promise.” He leaned closer to press a kiss to his temple.

“I know, I trust you.” It was odd how much he meant it, after all he hadn’t known Chan for long, and they had spent most of that time not flirting, just being very professional, but he knew he could trust the other man.

The rest of the evening passed quickly, with them just chatting and laughing, watching a movie while cuddling in Chan’s bed. It was absolutely perfect.

And then Seungmin remembered something, a thing he had not told Chan just yet.

“Chan?”

“Mmh?”

“I, uh, forgot to tell you something,” he admitted, as his hand fidgeted on Chan’s chest.

“What is it?” he asked, patient.

“I’ve never been in a relationship. Like I fooled around a bit but I always said no to everyone, so I don’t really have much experience.”

“That’s okay, I haven’t either, I was always too busy. Which reminds me, you will have to tell me if I’m not giving you enough time, okay? I’m used to doing things at my own pace, without having to take others into consideration. You will have to tell me if you need more time with me, if you feel ignored. I will try my best, but sometimes I’m a bit dumb and I might need a reminder.”

“That’s fine, I know where your studio is. I really like how passionate you are, I like driven people, who have a goal in mind and work hard for it.”

“Good, that’s settled then.”

He pulled away at that and sat up straighter, a little smile on his face. “So, when are you going to ask me?”

“What?” Chan asked, clearly teasing him.

“Annoying.”

“I know, do you think you might be able to keep up with me and maybe possibly become my boyfriend?”

“Eh, it might be hard, but someone has to sacrifice themselves and date you. Guess I can do humanity a favor.”

“You’re a little shit.”

“I know, Minho reminds me every single day.”

Chan laughed, amused, and pushed him lightly on the shoulder. “So it’s a yes? You’ll be my boyfriend?”

“Yes, of course,” he said, and he was sure he had an idiotic smile on his face, but Chan was smiling just as big and his heart was doing backflips so really, who cared. He leaned in, waiting to gauge Chan’s reaction, and when the other man didn’t move, he pressed their lips together. He had meant to keep it chaste, soft, but before he could even realize it Chan was pulling him up and onto his lap, and his arms automatically wrapped around his neck, pressing himself close to his now boyfriend.

They kissed for a while, with the occasional humping and lots of little whimpers coming from Seungmin, but suddenly the front door opened, and voices filled the apartment.

“I kinda wanna know about their date but I’m very hard right now,” Seungmin said, genuinely upset he couldn’t get his good dose of well-deserved gossip.

Chan just laughed, hiding his face behind his hands.

“Hey, it’s very serious. Both my need to know and my erection. This is all your fault, really.”

“How so?”

“You have very great lips.”

“Do I? Would you perhaps like know how they feel like on other parts of your body?” he teased him, his smirk mischievous.

He groaned at that, and moved away from him, putting a pillow between their bodies as a shield.

“Oh, are you guys up?” Suddenly Felix’s head poked through the door, Changbin right behind him, a hand on his hip.

“How was your date?” Seungmin asked, thankful for the pillow covering him up.

“Really good. Yours?”

“I have a boyfriend,” he said, smiling at his friend.

“Oh my god, you what?” Felix threw himself on the bed, both Chan and Seungmin very discreetly trying to hide the fact that they were both hard. “I’m so happy for you.” He wrapped his arms around his neck, holding him tight. “I want to know everything, you’re having breakfast with me tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good puppy.”

“Was Changbin nice to you?” he asked, as he sent a nasty look towards the other man. “You better not hurt my little angel.”

“He was great,” Felix defended him, amused.

“Heard that? Besides, his guard dog already threatened me.”

“Minho?” he guessed.

“The one and only. I had to threaten him back to treat Hannie well, my frail ego was suffering too much.”

“Well at least you’re self-aware,” he said with a snort. “But don’t worry, I’ve known him for years and I’ve never seen him quite so happy, he is a totally different person around Jisung.”

“He is,” Felix agreed. “He does anything he asks him to do, it’s hilarious.”

“Alright, you can gossip tomorrow morning, let’s go to bed,” Changbin said, finally dragging Felix up and away.

“You sleeping over?” Seungmin asked.

“Yeah, I want cuddles.”

“Fair enough. Good night, guys.”

They all said good night, then finally the other two men left, leaving them alone once more.

“He was way too close to my dick,” Seungmin said, giggling a bit hysterically.

“Idiot.” But Chan was giggling as well, amused.

“Hey, I’ve not gotten any action lately, I’m pretty desperate.”

“Yeah? Was a bit of kissing all it took to get you going? Are you going to come in your pants if I give you a hickey?”

“Probably,” he said, not really embarrassed by it.

“Tempting, but I want to take my time with you when I know we’re alone.”

He groaned at that, and threw the pillow at his face. “Stop talking.”

“Why?” He moved closer, his face so close to Seungmin’s. “You’re cute when you’re shy.”

“I’m always cute.”

“You are, just a bit more right now.” He wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his chest and resting his chin on his shoulder. “Is Felix really going to take you away from me tomorrow morning?”

“Definitely, I bet he already called Minho and Jeongin as well. But we can study together in the afternoon. At the library, where neither of us will get tempted.”

“But where is the fun in that?”

“You will not corrupt me, Bang Chan, I have grades to maintain.”

“Fine, I will just kiss you in my car before dropping you off, then.”

Breakfast went as well as he had expected, with so much teasing from all his friends, and a lot of gushing about their respective partners, well except for Jeongin, who had an adorable pout on his face for most of the time.

“What is it?” Seungmin asked, endeared.

“Hyunjin won’t ask me out.”

“Then do it yourself,” Minho said with a shrug. “Text him, ask him if he wants to grab coffee or have dinner together.”

“What if he’s not interested?”

“Everyone is interested in you,” Felix said, offended on his behalf, “and if not, he is an idiot. You said you’ve been texting a lot, does he seem into you?”

“I guess. When we meet up he is always all over me, touching my face, sniffing my hair, he’s always hugging me and kissing my cheeks,” he listed, and the more he talked, the more Seungmin wanted to facepalm.

All three of them just blinked at him, trying to figure a way to point out that he was being stupid without hurting his feelings. In the end, Minho took one for the team.

“Innie, is it possible that you’re already going out with him, but you didn’t realize?”

“Uh? But he’s never once said it was a date. He just asks if I want to meet up somewhere, then usually we go to his place and cuddle a bit.”

“Dude, you already have a boyfriend,” Seungmin said, unable to believe his friend. “Text him right now.”

“Fine, okay.” He got his phone out and opened his chat with Hyunjin, which was filled with hearts and kissing emojis. ‘Hi, do you want to have dinner with me tonight?’

“Say it’s a date,” Felix said when Jeongin turned his phone around to make them read the text he had written.

He rolled his eyes, but typed some more. ‘Like as a date, if you’re up for it.’

“Go ahead,” Felix said, approving the text.

He hit send, then put his phone down, his fingers drumming nervously on the table. It took less than a minute for a new text to show up.

‘What do you mean if I’m up for it? I’ve been flirting with you for weeks???’

“Oh,” he simply said, his cheeks turning red.

“You idiot. Answer back,” Minho said, gently slapping his arm.

‘I wasn’t sure. So yes to dinner?’

‘Of course, baby, I’m picking you up at seven.’

“You’re so lucky you’re cute,” Seungmin said at that, messing with his hair. “Feeling better now?”

“Yeah. Oh god, what am I going to wear?”

They spent the rest of their morning trying to get him to calm down and helping him pick an outfit and a restaurant, then Seungmin made his way to the library, finding Chan already waiting for him in front of the huge gate, a smile on his face as soon as he spotted him.

“Hello, baby,” he said. He reached out with his hand, then thought better of it and let it drop, a small frown on his face.

“That’s okay, not yet,” Seungmin reassured him. “My friend is going on a date with your friend.”

“Which one?”

“Jeongin and Hyunjin. Why is it that all our friends are dating?”

“They are? About time. I’ve been telling Hyunjin to make it official for a while now.”

“Well he didn’t listen, ‘cause up until this morning Jeongin still thought he wasn’t interested. But they are having dinner tonight.”

“That’s good, I’m glad. So group date coming up soon, I’d say.”

“You really want to be in the same room as Minho and Jisung? Do you hate yourself? Do you hate me?”

“That’s dramatic, it will be fine,” Chan said, rolling his eyes for good measure. As if Seungmin didn’t already spend so much time with them considering Jisung often went over their place.

“Hey, Seungmin.”

He turned at the familiar voice, and immediately groaned internally when Minji came up to them. “Hello,” he said, hoping she would just leave.

“Are you checking on the answers from the exam?” she asked, not subtly at all looking Chan up and down.

“Uh, sure,” he lied, feeling cornered.

“Great, can I join? I have so many questions.”

“We won’t be here long, I’m supposed to study other things,” he said, hoping Chan would come up with a way to get rid of her.

“That’s okay, I will keep it short. Is it okay?” she asked Chan, her smile so fake.

“I guess. But I also have to study other things soon,” he said, visibly uncomfortable.

“Oh, what are you studying?” she asked.

Seungmin rolled his eyes and started walking away and to the entrance of the library, hoping that once inside she would have lowered her voice and focused on the task at hand, which definitely was not flirting with his boyfriend.

He sat down at a small table, and Chan was quick to sit at his side, forcing Minji to sit opposite of them.

“So, what questions did you have?” Chan asked, easily slipping into tutor mode.

“Oh. Uh, question four,” she said, taken aback.

“I need you to be a bit more specific, I didn’t read the exam beforehand,” Chan said with a chuckle.

“Do you remember it?” she asked Seungmin.

Despite himself, he did remember, and he did also want to be sure he had done it right, so he helped her piece the details together until they got the whole thing down, and Chan easily solved it for them, thoroughly explaining everything. And if Seungmin found it incredibly hot, then so be it.

“Going to grab coffee, you guys need anything?” Chan asked, getting up and stretching, his stomach showing just a little bit. Now, Seungmin had cuddled with him, he had touched his stomach before, yet he still hadn’t expected those abs. He was the luckiest person alive.

“Coffee, thanks,” Minji said easily.

“Alright. You? Want to try the new coffee with the whipped cream?”

“Oh, yes please.”

“I’ll be right back.” They both watched him leave, then Seungmin forced himself to turn around, trying to distract himself by studying.

“You sure he is taken? I feel like he totally checked me out,” Minji said, still looking at where Chan had almost disappeared to.

“Very much taken, very much not interested, sorry.”

“Who is he dating? You seem to know a lot about him.”

“We got close while he tutored me, and all our friends are dating one another now, so.”

“For real? Even Minho? He is a real cutie as well.”

“He is, and his boyfriend is very possessive, don’t even think about it.” Jisung had legit growled at him once for standing too close to Minho, and yes he was aware it was a joke, but he also wouldn’t have been surprised to find out it was something they were actually into.

“Boyfriend?”

“You thought Minho was straight? Cute.” He so was going to tell Minho, he hated when people assumed he was straight.

“For real?” she asked, seemingly unable to believe it.

“Yep. They match each other so well, no one else has a chance now that he’s met Jisung.”

“I never would have thought. So, about Chan?”

“Why do you care so much? Sure, he looks good, but would you really come between him and his partner?” he asked, frustrated.

“I’m telling you he checked me out, not my fault he’s not faithful,” she insisted with a smug shrug.

Seungmin refused to reply, instead he went back to his book, and when she was distracted enough by her own studying, he got his phone out.

‘How do you feel about having our dates in jail from now on?’

‘I’d rather not, to be honest, I like sleeping with you. Why do you ask?’

‘She keeps asking me about you, she said you checked her out.’

‘Besides the fact that I’m dating you, I’m very much gay, I can promise you I was not checking her out.’

‘I know, that’s not the issue, I’m just getting so pissed at her wanting to flirt with you even though I told her you’re taken.’

‘I’ll be back soon, love, hold on.’

He sighed, but went back to studying, and thankfully soon enough Chan was back, three coffees in one hand inside a cup holder, and a brown bag in the other hand.

“Sorry, the line was so long.” He sat back down, passed the coffee over to Minji who was so desperately trying to have her moment and have their hands touch, and then he focused on Seungmin, his smile softening. “I got you a brownie.”

“Why?”

“Made me think of you.”

“Because I’m soft on the inside?” he asked with a chuckle.

“And you’re sweet.”

Seungmin barely managed to hold back a smile, and it was so hard not to turn his head to look Minji’s way and see her reaction. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He took the box out for him, and even went so far as to put a napkin down so that he wouldn’t leave crumbs on the table. “You coming over tonight?”

“Can’t, Minho said we haven’t seen each other in too long and while he hates me very much, he also wants to watch a movie with me. Go figure.”

“Cute. Alright then, you can have your roommates night, but tomorrow you’re mine.”

“Aren’t I always?” he asked, aware that Chan did not care in that moment and wanted to go all in to get her to stop.

“Definitely. Eat now.”

He did as told, and finally chanced a glance up to find Minji with her lips slightly parted as she looked their way. Victory.

She only stayed there another two minutes, then came up with a bullshit excuse and rushed away, while Seungmin laughed to himself.

“I definitely did not check her out.”

“I know, don’t worry. And even then, I think you’re allowed to find someone attractive, it’s acting on it or thinking too much about that person that’s the issue.”

“Agreed, but I still didn’t. Think she will make a big deal out of this?”

“Nah, I’ve known her for a while, she was probably just embarrassed.”

“Okay, good.”

They went back to studying after that, even though with Chan’s hand on his leg, Seungmin felt very distracted. Now that he had caught a glimpse of his perfect stomach, he just wanted to see even more, he wanted to get his hands on his boyfriend.

“Chan?” he asked, because it was clear he was not going to be able to concentrate anytime soon.

“Mmh?” Chan asked, his eyes still on the page he was reading.

“Can I maybe come see you swim one of these days? That’s the only part of your life I haven’t seen yet, I’m curious.”

“Oh, of course. It might be a bit boring, though.”

“Yeah, my boyfriend all wet and half naked getting out of the pool will definitely be boring, I can see that.”

“You little shit. Is that why you want to come?” he asked, his cheeks a bright pink.

He fake-gasped, a hand on his chest to sell it better. “No, I’d never be so shallow.”

“Asshole. You can come, sure, I will send you my schedule later, just come whenever you want.”

“Thank you.”

“Hyunjin swims too, you might be able to drag Jeongin along.”

“Does he? Nice, is that how you met?” he wondered, because somehow that topic had never come up.

“Yeah, then he just stuck to us, so he became part of our group.”

“I can see that,” he said, amused. “I did the same with Felix, he was so friendly and nice and I just stuck to him, and then he introduced me to the other two.”

“Well, it worked out great,” he said, amused.

“It really did. Can’t believe we are all dating now.”

“It is pretty wild. But also nice? I like that we have the same friend group and I will to see you often.”

“Sap.”

Seungmin was not prepared to see Chan half naked. He wasn’t sure how he hadn’t thought it through, how he had just thought he could go watch him practice and not completely lose his shit.

But there he was, on his way to hard, mouth watering – yes as if his boyfriend was his favorite food, that was how bad it was – as he did his best not to combust on the spot.

The only consolation was the fact that Jeongin was not faring much better, he was also staring at Hyunjin as if he wanted to jump on him.

“Seungmin this was both your best and worst idea,” Jeongin managed to say after five minutes spent in silence, just watching as their boyfriends stretched before entering the pool.

“I know. What the fuck. How am I supposed not to jump on him or get on my knees when I see him after he’s done here?”

“I have the same exact issue. Should we leave before them?” Jeongin asked.

“Pathetic. But maybe.” Worth it for saving some of his dignity.

“Fuck we really are down bad. But have you seen my boyfriend?”

“Have you seen mine? Actually no, don’t look,” he said, quick to change his mind.

“Too late, he’s hot.”

“I know,” he said, groaning. “Will you judge me if I say I wanna lick him?”

“You don’t even want to know what I want to do to Hyunjin right now. His back? Have you seen it? It should be all marked up by me.”

“I am so glad you’re as deranged as me, thank you. This better not reach Minho, though.”

“Fuck no, he would never let us live it down. Shit, they are coming our way.”

“Oh god.”

They got up and closer to the edge of the stand, watching as their boyfriends approached, as if in slow motion. Seungmin didn’t know where to look anymore, his hands were itchy with the need to reach out and touch as much naked skin as possible.

“Hello, love,” Chan said, stopping in front of the plexiglass that separated the pool from their seats.

Seungmin was distantly aware of Hyunjin and Jeongin talking, but all he could focus on was trying so hard not to make eye contact with Chan’s nipples and instead keeping his eyes on his. “Hi.”

“Having fun so far?” he asked, teasing.

“You do not want to know what we’ve been saying so far, you’d probably never be able to look me in the eyes again,” he admitted, because apparently a horny Seungmin meant a very blunt one.

Chan burst out laughing, his shy, embarrassed laugh as his cheeks went all red.

“No, for real. I’ve never been this attracted to anyone in my life. I’m kinda worried about my own mental health,” he kept going since Chan didn’t seem to be bothered by it.

“That was dramatic, baby,” he said, his smile growing even bigger.

“I promise you it is not. You’re like unfairly good looking. Can I come study here from now on? For, uh, motivation.”

“Would you actually get anything done?”

“Doubt it. But who cares about grades, right?”

“What?” Jeongin asked, because he was lost in his own little world with Hyunjin but hearing Seungmin saying something like that was enough to snap him out of it. “Are you okay? This is too much for you, maybe you shouldn’t be standing so close to a naked Chan.”

Both swimmers started laughing, while Seungmin simply pushed him on the shoulder.

“I have a hot boyfriend for once in my life, let me enjoy it. I’m going to be so annoying from now on.”

“Boy do I have news for you.”

“Alright, you guys keep bickering and thirsting over us, see you later.” Hyunjin leaned over the glass to kiss Jeongin on the cheek, and then started walking away.

“Fucking hell,” Jeongin commented, eyes huge as he got a good look of his back up close.

“Okay, I’ve heard enough. Have fun, baby.” Chan winked at him, the asshole, and left as well, while Seungmin groaned at the way the speedos hugged his perfect ass.

He was going to have Chan sitting on his face even if it was the last thing he did. He would have been happy to die from asphyxiation caused by an ass too big.

Okay he definitely needed to chill, that was too unhinged even for his own self.

“Seungmin, thank you so much for introducing us,” Jeongin said.

“You’re so welcome, I’m so glad I suck at math.”

They spent quite a while just talking, not really able to see much since their boyfriends were in the water, but once they got out both of them went very quiet, just staring at them all wet, droplets dripping down their chests.

“How is it even better?” Seungmin whispered, as he watched Chan chat with a friend before heading to the showers.

“I have no idea. I’m taking him to a pool soon, I need to hug him the whole time.”

“Don’t get arrested.”

“I wouldn’t even care.”

“Proud of you,” he said, half teasing, half serious.

“Can we skip the double date tonight?”

“Gladly.”

Chan and Hyunjin walked back to them, a towel thrown over their shoulders. Rude. It didn’t even cover much but Seungmin still felt deprived of something.

“We will shower quickly and then we can go,” Hyunjin said, his smirk knowing as he watched his boyfriend check him out.

“No, change of plans,” Jeongin informed them, “no double date tonight.”

“Uh? Why not?” Chan asked, confused.

“We just really want both of you alone and to make out heavily on a bed.”

“Oh,” Chan said, his cheeks turning red and his eyes big. “Okay, see you in a bit,” he added, suddenly looking very unsure, and started heading to the changing room.

They definitely had to talk about that, they had not taken it too far yet, and Seungmin was more than happy with that, he just wanted to make sure Chan was okay, he wanted to know what the issue was with them taking things further.

“See you soon.” Hyunjin winked at Jeongin before following Chan.

“Chan was definitely weird, wasn’t he?” Seungmin asked, feeling just the tiniest bit insecure.

“He seemed shy more than anything. Have you two done nothing yet?” he wondered.

“Nope. Maybe I just took the joking too far? Like obviously I’d love for something to happen tonight, but I think he took it too seriously and got uncomfortable.”

“Just tell him you were joking, I’m sure he will understand.”

They went back to the front of the building to wait for them, and it took the other two men twenty minutes before finally coming out as well.

Hyunjin was quick to rush to his boyfriend and press a loud kiss to his cheek, then he threw a rushed goodbye over his shoulder and dragged Jeongin away.

“My place or yours?” Chan asked, unable to make eye contact.

“Minho and Jisung are at my place, we can have dinner with them,” he suggested, hoping that would make Chan feel more at ease.

“Uh? Sure, whatever you want.”

They started walking to Chan’s car in silence, both tense, until Seungmin had enough.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong? I’m sorry if I took it too far, I just find you very attractive. I know we haven’t done anything yet and maybe I came on too strong but I promise you I don’t expect anything to happen tonight, I just genuinely think you look really hot,” he said, the words rushing out of his mouth.

“Do you really?” he asked, stopping in his track and forcing Seungmin to do the same.

“Yes? Chan, you’re one of the most good-looking people on campus, probably even beyond that, of course I think you’re hot.”

“Oh. The thing is, I don’t have the best relationship with myself and how I look,” he admitted, looking down at his own feet. “I’ve always felt a bit out of place. First in Australia because I looked nothing like my friends, but then when I came here, I felt like I was never really Korean enough, if it makes sense. So I’ve always struggled with feeling like I don’t fit in with the beauty standards or whatever.”

“Chan,” he said, feeling the need to hug him, and so he did, holding him tight against his chest. “Baby, you could create beauty standards of your own, that’s how hot you look. You remember how many of the girls in my class were losing it over you? You look gorgeous, I can promise you that.” He pulled away, making sure Chan was looking him in the eyes. “And it’s not that my opinion matters, but as your boyfriend, I swear I’m telling the truth. Jeongin said it as well, you know? We were joking around and I told him not to look at you, but he said it was too late and that you’re hot.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

“So was the issue that you felt uncomfortable about me looking at you that way?”

“I guess? I didn’t really feel like it was deserved, to be honest, I thought maybe you were just saying because Jeongin has Hyunjin and he’s really pretty.”

“I’m letting you know that whenever I get my hands and mouth on you, I’ll love you so hard you won’t have any other choice but to admit how good you look. Body worship doesn’t even cover what’s going to happen.”

“You don’t-“

“I said I’m letting you know, I wasn’t asking for your permission, and unless it makes you feel very uncomfortable, it’s happening.”

“Okay,” he said, finally agreeing.

“Now, do you want to have dinner with the two lovebirds, or do you want to be alone? Because I’d love to just be alone with you and cuddle, but if you feel off about what happened and are worried I will jump on you, we can eat with them.”

“I mean I wouldn’t turn you down, I want that to be clear, I just feel very insecure. Like I know I work hard and my body looks good, but there is still something at the back of my head telling me it could be better.”

“Chan,” he started, thinking if the embarrassment was worth it, but then decided to go for it, “I spent the whole time hard as fuck. You look good, baby, like really fucking good.”

“Oh. Really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Wow. Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I should be the insecure one, to be honest,” he said with a chuckle, hoping Chan wouldn’t realize just how real his words were to him.

“Why? I think you look handsome, I like every single thing about you, even the little mole on your ear,” he said, as his hand reached out to touch said ear, his smile soft.

“That’s a bit far,” he said, now his turn to be embarrassed.

“It’s really not. But let me get you home now so we can cuddle and I can tell you everything I like about you.”

“God no.”

“Oh yes. Let’s go.” He started walking again, not taking no as an answer, and Seungmin was quick to follow, grabbing onto his arm just because.

They spent the drive home chatting about their days, and once there they got to cooking together. Seungmin still wasn’t the best in the kitchen, but he loved helping Chan out, it felt very domestic, just the two of them talking and working together for a meal they were going to share. He loved watching Chan cook the most, though, how he did it all so effortlessly, how he just seemed to know what he was supposed to do.

They ate while watching a movie, then cuddled for the rest of it until Seungmin started getting fidgety, his hands itchy with the need to touch Chan some more.

“What is it?” Chan asked, his voice low, as to not disturb the silence.

“This isn’t enough,” he muttered, frustrated.

“What is?” he asked, confused.

“This cuddling.”

Chan chuckled at that, amused by the reply. “Okay, how about you sit on me?”

Seungmin didn’t reply, just moved to straddled his lap, Chan’s hands immediately making their way to his lower back to keep him steady.

“Is this better?”

“Yes, going to try and melt into you now.” He rested his head on his shoulder and closed his eyes, then took a deep breath, finally feeling better, peaceful.

“Are you okay?” Chan wondered, gently rubbing his back to offer comfort, just in case.

“Yes, I’m just being needy,” he admitted.

“Okay, I can deal with that. Why though?”

“I always crash after exam season, it’s like all the stress is finally gone and my body relaxes too much.”

“Makes sense. You have me taking care of you now, you can let go and I’ll be there.”

He could only hum in response, feeling way too emotional to use actual words. How was Chan that perfect? And he didn’t even seem to realize it.

“Want to move to my bed so if you fall asleep you’re more comfortable?”

“Five minutes,” he muttered, not wanting to let go of him just yet.

Chan seemed to understand it, so he just hugged him tighter, and pressed a kissed on his shoulder.

They stayed there in silence for a while, then Seungmin found the strength to get up, and they started getting ready for bed, taking turns in the bathroom.

While he waited for Chan he grabbed his phone, to check his unread texts, and found some in the group chat with his friends.

‘Guys, guys!!! My boyfriend is so hot I’m losing my shit,’ had been Jeongin’s first text, which made Seungmin chuckle.

‘Same here, he gets hotter every time I see him,” had been Felix’s reply.

‘Sorry guys, mine is the best,’ Minho had written.

‘Impossible. I just spent my afternoon watching my very hot boyfriend swim and then come out of the water all wet, he’s currently grabbing us food and I don’t know how to act, like I can’t just wait for him half naked in his bed, that would be weird for our first time, but I’m going insane.’

‘Didn’t know you were such a horny mess. Just eat with him and then go for some heavy making out,’ Minho had said.

‘Making out is not enough, I need him inside of me.’

‘Oh god, my eyes.’

‘Shut up Minho, you make bedroom eyes at Jisung all the time. Innie, the make out is the lead up to more, you got this, you have him wrapped around your pinky.’

‘He’s back! I will report back tomorrow.’

‘Please don’t.’

‘Please do, I wanna know. Where’s Seungmin? Weren’t you supposed to have a double date?’

‘I fear Seungmin is just as horny as I am.’ Jeongin, that traitor, wasn’t he supposed to leave the chat?

‘Things I never wanted to know: Kim Seungmin has a sex life.’

‘Respectfully, his boyfriend is really good looking,’ Felix had commented.

‘Well I guess he has a good body. Sorry, Hannie read this and is now whining, bye boys, use protections.’

‘Just so you know, I have the hottest boyfriend. And nothing happened, we just cuddled and are now getting ready to sleep. Hope you’re having fun, traitor.’ Seungmin wrote before putting down his phone.

“Here I am. All done?” Chan checked, stopping at the door.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Chan just nodded and turned off the lights in the corridor, then closed the door and made his way to the bed, getting comfortable.

“I fought for your honor,” he informed him.

“Uh, thanks? What for?”

“We argued over who has the hottest boyfriend. Lix said you look good, and Minho agrees that you have a good body but Jisung didn’t take it well.”

Chan just snorted at that, not really fazed. “Are all of you horny messes?”

“As of right now? Yes. We’ve all been single for so long, let us have this.”

“Fine, that’s fair. So, uh, you’re waiting for something to happen?”

“Waiting is not the word I’d go for. I’d be happy if it happened, but I’m also okay with taking things slow. We haven’t been together for long, and when we started dating we were still in the middle of studying for exams, so it’s fine, I’m not desperate or anything.”

“Alright, that’s good to know.”

“I’m sorry if you felt pressured earlier, it wasn’t my intention,” he added, cuddling more into Chan.

“It’s not really pressure to make it happen. I just worry you’ll be disappointed, maybe.”

Seungmin sighed, but pulled away and forced himself to make eye contact with Chan. Did he want to be swallowed whole by the bed before even opening his mouth? Yes. Was he going to push through and be vulnerable for Chan? Also yes, he was a grown man. “I’m going to be very cheesy right now, so if I cringe right after don’t take it personally. I like you a lot, I’ve never been this interested in anyone before, I never allowed anyone so close, let them get under my skin. It won’t be just sex, Chan. It will be meaningful, too. So yes, I might be a horny mess and maybe I said some unhinged things, but just having sex is not what I’m after nor the only thing I care about, I hope you know that. It might be awkward or it might not be great for whatever reason, and but promise I still wouldn’t care.”

“Come here.” He pulled him into his chest, forcing Seungmin to sit on him as his hand sneaked under his shirt to keep him as close as possible. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I want you to be comfortable when it happens, I don’t want you to overthink it or whatever, that’s my job, I’m the overthinker in this relationship,” he tired to joke, glad when Chan let out a small laugh.

“Alright, I won’t overthink it, I will just let it happen.”

“Good boy,” he praised him.

Chan’s breath hitched at that, and he went very quiet and still for a moment. “Just so you know, I definitely have a praise kink.”

“I- I’m not surprised, good to know,” he said, unfazed.

“Let’s try and sleep.”

“I’ll hold you tonight,” he said eagerly, not taking no as an answer.

They got settled in, then Chan gave him his back and Seungmin wasted no time hugging him, his face pressed into his hair.

“Good night.”

“Good night.” He pressed a kiss to his head, then sighed happily, making Chan giggle. “Ssh, let me be a sap for tonight.”

“Fine, just because you’re cute.”

Considering how their first talk about sex had gone, Seungmin had expected Chan to sit him down and tell him he was ready, that he wanted to do it, or maybe even ask to start with something small.

Instead, he found himself on his bed with his boyfriend pressing him into the mattress, his hands roaming his body freely, as he kissed him without letting him take a breath. Not like he was complaining or anything.

“I need you so bad,” Chan panted against his lips once they parted, the desperation in his voice making Seungmin twitch in his pants.

“Only if you let me show you some love first.” Was it a low blow? Definitely, but he knew the power he held in that moment. With great powers come great responsibilities, or whatever the quote was, and in that moment his priority was making Chan feel very loved.

“Fine, sure.”

“Good boy,” he said, smiling to himself when Chan shivered a little bit at the praise. “Let me take care of you now.” He pushed on him until Chan caught the hint and moved from him, then he also sat up and quickly brought his hands to Chan’s shirt. “Can I?”

“Yeah.”

He pulled it up carefully, not wanting to rip off his ears, then threw it away, as if just seeing it was offensive. It kinda was, how rude of it to hide Chan’s perfect body from him.

“Fuck, even better than I remember,” he said, his eyes stuck on Chan’s pecs. “Can I touch however much I want?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you, this is the best day ever. Tell me if you need me to stop, though.” And then he pushed him so he was lying down, and he sat on his lap, his hands quick to find their way to his pecs to squeeze them. “Perfect, you’re perfect,” he praised. He leaned down, attaching his mouth to his neck and kissing it a bit before moving down to his clavicle, and then even lower until he was able to take a nipple into his mouth.

The sound Chan let out was probably the best thing he had ever heard, but he tried to focus on the task at hand, and kept sucking gently until his boyfriend was squirming. That was his clue to move to his other nipple, so he left behind a trail of kisses and moved to the other side, reserving it the same treatment.

“Min,” Chan moaned softly, a hand moving to grasp his hair.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so desperate, please.”

“Sorry, love, we’ve just started.” He smirked up at him, making Chan groan and recline his head back. He took advantage of the fact that he wasn’t watching him to move. He grabbed Chan’s hands and pulled them up, resting them on the headboard. “Can you keep them there for me?” he asked, a hand caressing his taut stomach. God, Seungmin still wanted to lick him so bad.

“I can,” Chan said after a bit.

“So good for me. Keep them there and I’ll reward you.”

His answering groan was confirmation enough that the message had been received.

Seungmin moved up a little and leaned down on him once more, this time attaching his mouth to his bicep. He kissed it and bit it gently for a while, then moved to the part he was really interested in.

He wasn’t sure if it was Chan’s preference or a swimmer thing, but Chan’s armpits were completely smooth, and the thing drove him insane.

He wasn’t sure why, he had never taken an interest in armpits before, but Chan’s just looked so smooth, soft, yet his arms and by extension his pits were so defined and perfect and- he needed to get a grip.  

He leaned in, kissing him gently, and Chan giggled, probably ticklish, but he didn’t give up, he kept kissing him, even licking him a bit, he nosed at the skin there, taking in his perfume, and then moved back to his chest some more.

“Can I go lower?” he asked, wanting to check in with Chan.

“If you strip me more, can I also strip you?”

“Of course.” He pulled off his own shirt, only feeing moderately self conscious since Chan seemed to have heart eyes for him and he didn’t look like he minded his lack of muscles.

“Lovely,” he said, reaching out to touch his chest reverently. “Come here, I need to kiss you.” He pulled him in for a kiss, holding him so carefully and sweetly, his hands never stopping their movement on his back. “Better,” he said, a dumb smile on his face when they parted.

“You’re cute.”

“You too, the cutest.”

“Sap.” He pushed him gently, careful he wouldn’t actually fall backwards and hit his head, just enough for him to catch the hint and lie down again. He then took off his own sweatpants, then pulled down Chan’s, his eyes focusing on his very tented underwear for just a moment before he could get back to his sense. “Just so you know, I hate feet, so they won’t be getting any love but it’s nothing personal.”

Chan couldn’t help but laugh at that, the absolute best sound in the world for Seungmin. Well after his soft moans. “That’s alright, love, I don’t mind.”

“Good.” He thought about it for a moment, if he also wanted to tease Chan a bit or just shower him in love, then decided that too much love in one go was probably going to overwhelm his boyfriend, so he straddled his lap giving him in back, his ass resting comfortably on his crotch, and then leaned down to kiss his legs.

“This is so unfair,” Chan said, his voice choked.

“You can touch.”

“Oh thank fuck.” His hands immediately made their way to his ass, squeezing it gently before moving to his back, his shoulders, then down his sides and his waist, all the while Seungmin kept kissing his legs, making sure to also rub against him from time to time. “Min?”

“Mmh?” he asked, not lifting his head from where he was pressing kisses to his knee.

“I really want you inside of me.”

And well, that had been unexpected. He stopped what he was doing and turned around, but he must have looked off because Chan backtracked immediately.

“I mean we never discussed this, I’m fine with topping, really, I just-“

“Chan,” he stopped him, leaning in for a kiss. “Tell me what you need right now and I’ll give it to you.”

“You, please. Can you fuck me?”

“Of course I can. Thank you for telling me.”

Chan groaned at that, and hid his face against his chest. “Why are you perfect?”

“Hardly, I just care a lot about you, and want to make you feel special, happy.”

“I already feel that way.”

“It’s not enough, I can do more for you. Now let me take care of you.”

Truth be told, Seungmin preferred bottoming, but he did his best for Chan.

He took his time opening him up, trying to figure out what his boyfriend liked, what made him moan the loudest, what the right spot was. He kept kissing him all over while he did so, telling him how beautiful he was again and again until Chan was a blushing mess and trying to cover his face with his hands.

And then he slowly got inside of him, trying his best not to come on the spot. It was simply amazing, so warm and tight and it was Chan. He was hit by a sudden wave of affection, of love. He knew he was in love, it had been pretty clear from the beginning, but was still quite scared to admit it, so he was a bit in denial.

“Baby?” Chan called him, his hand reaching out to grab his.

“Sorry, just trying not to come on the spot,” he said, smiling down at him.

“I wouldn’t mind.”

“Well I very much would, I’m making this epic.”

“Oh, cocky, aren’t we?”

Instead of replying he decided to roll his hips into him, making Chan moan, his back arching just a bit off the bed. Seungmin didn’t have the biggest dick in the world, he was definitely smaller than Chan, but it was long, and he knew how to use it properly.

“I take it back.”

“Good boy.” He leaned more over him, their faces inches apart. “Ready?”

Chan lifted his head for a quick kiss, then nodded.

Seungmin did his best to make it good, to make it all about Chan. He immediately tried to figure out how to hit his prostate, he changed the pace when Chan was getting too used to it, moved him around as he pleased since Chan was mush under him just to change the angle. And his boyfriend loved it, if his moans were of any indication.

He had stopped talking, he was a moaning mess, his eyes watery anytime they looked at one another.

“You’re perfect, so good for me,” he praised him just because. “Wanna come, baby?”

Chan nodded eagerly, his fingers digging more into Seungmin’s back as he got ready for his release.

“Okay, I got you.” He quickened his pace, and at the same time brought a hand between their bodies to touch Chan, trying to match the rhythm of his hips.

It didn’t take Chan long to come. His boy tensed up around him, come sprouting from his dick and reaching almost up to his chin, and the visual mixed with the new sensation was enough to make Seungmin come as well, deep inside of Chan.

He slowly pulled out as soon as he was done, then let himself fall down on top of Chan, not even caring that they were both sticky with come and sweat.

“Okay?” Chan asked, as he patted his head.

“Mmh, I get sleepy after I come,” he mumbled, his eyes heavy.

“Cute. Min?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Seungmin’s heart skipped a beat at that, his whole body going very still as he tired to process what Chan had just said.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same yet, no pressure,” Chan said when he stayed quiet for way too long.

“I’ve never said it to anyone before.” He moved away to face him, even though he regretted doing so as soon as he saw the disappointment on Chan’s face. “So I’m struggling with figuring out if this is love. This isn’t something I’ve studied before, it’s not something I can prepare for.”

“It’s fine, if you don’t feel it you just don’t.”

“I think I do. It’s just so scary?”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Chan,” he said, almost exasperated, “I plan my outfits for the whole week, I know what I’m going to eat every single day even before I go grocery shopping, I have appointments set up in my calendar for next year. You, your feelings, our relationship, they are all out of my control. Do you know how hard that is for me?”

“You just have to trust me. You said you did.”

“I do, but love is just such a new thing and so unpredictable, and I wasn’t meant to find anyone until I was done studying. Am I just supposed to change my plans now? Am I going to move in with you before I’m twenty-six? It wasn’t meant to happen so early,” he said, at that point rambling.

Chan looked at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. “Baby, this is absurd. We move in together when we are ready, you don’t have to plan for it.”

“But I do, I need to know how much I need to save up for it and-“

“And I’m here now. You didn’t take into consideration how much I will make, did you?”

And fuck, how did he not think of that?

“Oh god, I didn’t say it to make you think about it now. Just that some things are not predictable and you can’t control them, and that’s fine. You’re going to drive yourself nuts if you try and do that. We are together now, we are happy, I really, really want this to work and I love you, that’s all you need to take into consideration.”

Seungmin stared into his eyes for a moment, then finally nodded and moved back to rest on Chan’s chest. Living in the moment. What a crazy, stupid concept. But then again, Chan was in that moment, he was there, next to him, maybe he could work with that. “I love you, too,” he finally said, because really there was no reason to fight it. “And before you ask, I’m not just saying. I knew already, I was just a bit in denial,” he admitted, suddenly embarrassed by the way he had reacted.

“I can’t make promises, I don’t know everything, but you’re definitely in my plans for the future. I’d stay here in Korea forever for you, and I’d follow you to any other country.”

“I- I think I’d consider moving to Australia for you if you really miss it.”

“That’s a lot coming from you. Maybe after we retire, what do you say? So we can spend our days at the beach.”

“Sounds good, actually.”

“I won’t look like this anymore, though, keep that in mind.”

“I won’t either, who cares,” he said, easy as that.

“Good. We should really shower now.”

He groaned, but he knew he was right, so he got off of him and sat up, Chan quick to do the same just to then wince.

“Didn’t think you had it in you,” Chan admitted, massaging his lower back.

“Sorry? Or rude? I don’t know how to take this,” he said, making Chan laugh.

“Yeah, it was a bit backhanded, I didn’t realize. It was nice, I liked it. Did you?”

“That’s a stupid question, of course I did.”

They gathered some clean clothes, then made their way to the bathroom to shower together, and Seungmin took advantage of it to kiss Chan’s body some more.

Once done, they made their way back to bed, getting ready for sleep since it had gotten quite late, and Seungmin grabbed his phone to check if he had gotten any new text just to freeze when he spotted way too many messages from the group chat with all eight of them.

‘Things I didn’t want to hear but did: Chan and Seungmin having sex,’ had been the first text from Changbin. ‘That noise is forever engraved in my brain. I don’t know what Seungmin was doing to him but it must have been good.’

‘Now why would you share? In this case sharing is NOT caring.’ Minho, of course.

‘Seungmin??? You go dude, I didn’t know you had it in you.’ Seungmin could clearly picture Jisung’s smug smile at that. Good, so Minho would have suffered even more.

‘Twinknator number 3? Wow.”

‘Felix, who’s number 2? Is it me?’

‘No Hannie, I think you’re number 1 and I’m 2, since you’re a day older.’

‘Thank you so much for clarifying, I like how this sounds.’

‘Please spare me,’ Jeongin had said, joining the chat.

‘Hello, number 4.’

‘Excuse me?’

‘No, let him speak,’ Hyunjin had said at that.

‘Do you want to have sex ever again?’

‘I’m so sorry my love. Guys, stop with the nonsense.’

“Why are they so dramatic?” Seungmin asked.

“Go figure. You’re number one in my heart, though.”

“I dare you to write that in the group,” he said, already finding the idea so hilarious.

“Why not.” Chan grabbed his own phone since he had been reading from Seungmin’s over his shoulder, and went to the chat as well. ‘Seungmin is twink whatever it was number 1 in my heart, I want you to know.’

‘Is it over??? Can I come back?’

‘Ignore Bin, he’s been in my bed the whole time, he’s just fine,’ Felix called him out. ‘But congrats on the sex, at least we won’t have to watch you make bedroom eyes at each other anymore.’

‘Literally no one is worse than you when you watch Changbin in a tight shirt,’ Jeongin said, coming back to the chat just to drag his friend.

“Okay, enough of this,” Seungmin decided, putting down his phone, Chan quick to do the same. “Not sure I want to look Changbin in the eyes ever again.”

Chan just chuckled, then lay down, pulling Seungmin with him. “He really doesn’t care, he was just being a bit dramatic and he probably wanted to gossip about it.” He moved as close as possible, until they were lying on the same pillow, their foreheads pressed together. “I’m really happy.”

“I’m glad, I’m also really happy.” He sneaked a hand up to his waist, gently rubbing the skin since there Chan had decided to stay shirtless. Apparently, he usually slept naked, but had deprived Seungmin of it until that point. It was basically a relationship built on lies. “Was what we did alright? Not the sex, before that.”

“Of course it was, it felt nice. I like having your hands on me and your full attention.”

“Okay, good to know.”

“I wouldn’t mind also doing that for you, if you feel like it.”

Seungmin thought about it for a moment, it would have made him feel very exposed, but he figured it was only fair. “I guess, if you want.”

“I do. I really like how you look, all of you.”

Unsure how to reply, he just pecked his lips, hoping Chan would understand him even without having to talk.

“Is it okay if I tell you that I love you whenever I want or will it make you panic again?” he asked, his smirk teasing.

“Rude. You can, yes.”

“Good. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he was quick to say back.

He was unable to fully believe it just yet, but he had a boyfriend and he was in love. Chan had thrown his whole five-year plan up in the air but he didn’t really care – or well, he did, very much so, but at the same time he was so happy that it overshadowed any other emotion. Seungmin had always followed the rules, always stuck to his ideas and his plans even when it had meant giving up on singing to have more time for studying, and there Chan was, making him want to pick it back up, making him feel like for once he could put his happiness first and let everything else sort itself out.

His friends were so going to tease him for it, perfect Kim Seungmin who was a control freak just going with the flow because Chan had asked him to. Oh well, it didn’t seem so bad so far, after all it had gotten him a very hot boyfriend who cuddled him to sleep.