Chapter 1: prologue
Chapter Text
❋
Now referred to as the forget-me-not, the blue-petaled, delicate, and tiny flowers with a light fragrance have many well-known stories. Most of these are legends created by people and passed down from one generation to another, reaching future generations.
However, there are stories that the wolves know and tell about this special flower, which is much more impressive and unique than the others. Wolves are dual-created beings, meaning they can bloom and find a soulmate on Earth. According to the legendary tale of these wolves, long ago, when a noble omega and a wild alpha fell deeply in love, their union gave rise to these nameless blue flowers, blooming from their lips. However, their unique love and bond were impossible; when they realized they could never be together, the omega fell gravely ill. Just before passing away in the alpha's arms, a cry escaped the omega's lips: "Forget me not."
The locals, who witnessed the short and tragic love of this soulmate pair, retold the story over generations, turning it into legend. Today, these flowers are called "forget-me-nots" because of the omega’s final words and the blue flowers that grew by the lakeside where the pair lost their lives.
✼
Chapter Text
1-“The wolf, I will follow into the storm.“
"Don't ever show up here again, you fucking freak. We'll forgive you for this time."
Jimin had been shunned yet again by another pack, cast out in the dead of night under the unforgiving gaze of all who watched. How many times had it been now? Truthfully, he had stopped counting after the seventh. On the day he turned twenty, he once more found himself standing on the outside, on the cold, desolate fringes of bustling lives, loving pairs, and picture-perfect families. They had seized him, tearing him from the confines of his temporary cabin nestled among the clustered shelters of the wolf territory, and hurled him far beyond its borders, as if erasing his very presence
The secret he had guarded with his very life had, once again, found its way to light. And as always, no one was willing to bear the burden of an unknown, unclaimed omega. This chapter too, had ended just like the others. By now, he had grown almost accustomed to it. Almost... Yet he wished, with all his heart, that it hadn’t happened tonight, on the very night he stepped into his birthday. The new day had barely dawned; not even ten minutes had passed. If only they had done it earlier, in the quiet solitude of dawn, when no prying eyes filled with pity or fear could watch him, and no murmured whispers could claw at his back.
Why wasn'nt there any place in this huge word where he could fit? Was this world only too much for him? But he was tiny, he didn't even take up the space of a hunting dog.
Jimin, covered in freshly fallen snow, drew strength from his hands as he got up from where he fell, what else did he have besides them? The Alphas had been merciful though and had been kind enough to throw his leather bag a little further away. This was Jimin's whole life. It was just a bag, and inside it was the rusty knife with the engraved hilt that he had never parted with, a glass jar full of herbs given to him by a healer on another herding adventure, a broken mirror and a few shabby summer clothes. That was the way it was going to be anyway, he couldn't remember ever getting further than a sack. He had always been a refugee, living with someone or in ramshackle shelters. One time, in the second pack he had been taken in, he had books. He had lived for a few months in the same hut as the village oracle. He was fifteen at the time and his hopes were high.
The Oracle had realised his secret the first time he met his eyes, but kept it hidden. Still, Jimin was glad to have a roof over his head, even though he always felt the Oracle's eye on him. The oracle taught him some of the letters and gave him some of his precious books. Just as Jimin was learning the syllables, his secret was revealed by a malicious Omega, and Jimin fled into the mountains, narrowly escaping being beaten in the village square. If he didn't die that day, he never would. He grew as he lived, learning the difficulties of surviving.
But he was still so sad. It doesn't have to be like this, he doesn't have to live like this. All this had to be a curse from the god. Ah... If his mother had heard him, she'd have scolded him good and definetly told him how precious those lone flowers really were.
After shaking the snow off his torn, thick trousers, he slung his bag over his shoulder and felt his waistline over his not-so-thick clothing. He wasn't sure if the pain he felt was from the treatment he'd been given, or if it was what he expected to feel.
"That wolf I'll follow into the storm, will lead me to my other half."
That's all he knows.
As he walked with slow steps towards the unclaimed area where the forest began, surrounded by dense trees, away from the herd, he did not think of the pack and the short life he was leaving behind. He did not have the strength to look back. The Alphas used to make the Omegas in the packs do all the hard work. Especially the orphaned Omegas like him, who needed a bowl of soup. Of course, he had had his share for three weeks. His hands were calloused. The cold had left bruises all over his body. He was in pain everywhere. The hard winter was going to be even harder than he thought. He had no idea what his next adventure would be.
He was grateful that he had knitted himself a thick blanket out of used wool during the short breaks in his free time. The wool would keep him warm. He wrapped the dark cloth from his head to his face like a scarf. His hands were already as cold as ice. After he had thrown himself into the snow, which had piled up to about half a metre, without worrying about his shoes with the holes in the toes, he began to walk, even if it was with difficulty.
He couldn't stay outside. If an abandoned Omega with a scent was left outside, it would die. There was no second choice, no chance of living without something bad happening to him. So he had to keep going, keep running, keep fighting until he died.
He had given up a few times, but tonight was not one of them. Tonight he was feeling something strange. Like a stomach ache, like a strange tingling sensation that made his stomach boil. It wasn't unpleasant. Rather, it gave him strength. It was as if a voice was calling him and his feet knew where to go. He felt for his wolf. He was in his den with his ears pricked up, watching what was happening with an ancient silence. People say that every wolf has a part of the god in it, so they were sacred in a way, and it was inevitable that his feelings would be right.
Sometimes he was terrified that the wolf inside him would leave him. Because there was no one else for him, no shelter. Difficult nights became mornings by talking to him. Of course, his wolf rarely answered him.
He wanted to see him so badly, but he was nowhere near that moment. From what he'd heard and seen around him, a man only saw his wolf when death was near, or when he was complete with his other half. To show him the way.
He took another step. Each step was harder than the last. The snow had spread in a thick layer over the surface of the forest. Everywhere he looked, everything he could see was snowed in, covered in white death. Wolves lived in packs. Otherwise, especially in these harsh winter conditions... they would die.
To the south, and further south... He was now much further away from the warm northern lands where he was born, and from his pack. He had travelled so far that he was perhaps at the other side of the world, and if he went any further he would find himself back home, where he had started. Home... there was no such place. The thatched hut in the forest where he was born and grew up had already turned to ashes. His memories had come with him wherever he went, as if they wanted to hunt him down at every corner. It was impossible to escape himself in this situation.
He covered his face more tightly. He must have walked for ten minutes, maybe an hour, he didn't know. As he walked, the pain in his waist grew and grew. Although he wanted to scratch it, he held back for now.
He had the feeling that he was getting closer.
Finally, his search had come to an end. He was now approaching the only part of him that could heal his tortured soul, that he could surrender to without fear, that could heal his wounds. They would be reunited and twenty years of pain would suddenly vanish.
That's what the oracle said too. When he saw the flowers blooming in his waistline; "The reunion is near..."
He did not know how close he was, how much space he occupied in this infinite time. And so much time had passed. He was going to his Alpha, a part of his life, a mate of his soul. His mate should have been looking for him too. After all, there had to be a rational explanation and a sense to all of this. All that he had suffered for, not for nothing. His lonely flowers, his incomplete feelings, his unacceptance had a meaning. Sometimes he despaired and thought he would never find his other half, but now he had grown up, he no longer thought such things.
He'd be a good soulmate too. If his Alpha wanted him to be. He... he wanted him to have a real name. He was sick of imagining the other part of himself. Every time he closed his eyes, another part of his Alpha was completed in his mind. Sometimes he didn't like the face he created and started all over again. This was his favourite game for years. Was his hair blonde like the sun? Did his skin glow as if he had stolen his whiteness from the moon? What about his lips... What colour were his eyes? That questions made him tremble every time he thought about them? Some nights he imagined kissing him, caressing him gently. Ah... if it felt so wonderful when he dreamed about it, who knew what he was going to do when it happened.
He swallowed as his heart pounded with excitement, out of breath from walking. His Alpha, whom he had named Yoonie when he was very young and never changed, was with him every step he took. One more step... For some reason this name suited him very well and he could not change it. He walked a little further, as he had promised his Alpha. It was pitch black everywhere, but he could see better in the darkness with his strong eyes, inherited from the wolves.
The storm grew worse, and the sneaky wind that blew through the trees rang in his ears like a whistle. The last wave of wind hit him so hard that his body was thrown forward. He had nowhere to hide. This endless, dark forest was suddenly hostile to him. Everywhere seemed sinister, and when he tried to smell, only the fresh, biting scent of snow reached his nose. When he stood to one side and tried to breathe, something terrible happened. Whether it was exhaustion or not, he couldn't control his smell, and for a moment it spread in waves through the forest. Covering his mouth with his hand and trying to control himself in shock, he took panicked steps, knowing that he had to leave immediately.
And he stumbled over a branch and fell to the ground.
He had to... he had to get up now, he felt something. The jungle meant danger, especially at night, especially if you were an Omega. The world turned into a prison full of hunters and he froze. Scanning quickly with his eyes, he realised that he was standing on the edge of a small frozen lake. It was the only opening he could see. He seemed to see a lifeless beam of light on the other side of the lake. He held his breath as he heard crunching in front of him. Dangerous footsteps were coming closer and closer to where he was, almost catching him. He backed several steps and his back hit something hard and solid, something warm. It was the large body of an Alpha. Jimin's eyes widened and a surprised scream came out of his mouth. He had to run, he had to cross the frozen lake and reach the opposite shore.
But he had neither the strength nor the luck to do so. He was caught in a dangerous trap. This time he was not going to get out of it. Whoever was in front of him was not the only one, different pheromones were vaguely touching his nose.
In a pack, Alphas were relatively harmless and couldn't do what they wanted to the Omegas. But these were not from a pack, and it was obvious that they were homeless and herdless. And they had a little seal on their foreheads. The wildling seal. Unaccepted. Outcasts. The others. Just like him. But they were not friendly. They were hungry, he could see it in their dark eyes, shining in the moonlight.
They were going to destroy him. They were gonna do things to him that he couldn't even dare talk about. Jimin couldn't beg for help. He had no one.
His eyes scanned the Alphas desperately, his heart crushed with fear. Maybe... Maybe one of them was his other half. But no, if he saw him, he would know. He would feel him. He wouldn't let them touch his soulmate.
''Little Omega... In the middle of the night in a dark forest...'' Jimin staggered as the Alpha behind him grabbed his scarf and pulled him. "What are you doing here?"
"Have you come to see us?" said the other with an ugly smile. They were all scary and ugly. That was how Jimin could describe them. All the Alphas who weren't his were ugly and disgusting.
"N-no..." he stuttered in horror. "I was on my way home." It was the dumbest thing he could have said. If he had a home, he wouldn't be here. Because a sensible Omega wouldn't be wandering away from his pack at this hour.
"Where is your home?" He shuddered as another Alpha called loudly from his right. He was so terrified now, he might as well die. As he tried to take a step away, the Alpha behind him grabbed his arm and held him back, turning his body violently towards him so he could see his face. He stank. A very, very dangerous smell. Perhaps they were one of those who had scattered the packs and started wars. The Rebels.
Jimin's eyes filled as the Alpha deliberately increased his scent and it made Jimin's knees shake. At that moment he hated to be powerless again. To be like this. To be so helpless and alone. "Please..." he said and closed his eyes tightly. It was as if if he didn't see it, he wouldn't be able to experience what was happening.
“Please what?”
"Let me go... Please..." His sobs ripped from his throat and echoed through the dark forest. "I'm begging you."
"You didn't tell us where your home was." The Alpha brought his face close and rubbed his beard against his cheeks, trying to smell him while Jimin had already stopped breathing. "'Or was that a lie?"
"Give him to me... It's my turn. That's what we agreed." The Alpha behind him grabbed him now. His grip was stronger, it hurt. A small moan escaped his mouth and when the Alpha wrapped his hand around his waist, he screamed, feeling incredible pain in his flowers. Not content with that, he kicked the Alpha between the legs and got rid of him. He had taken a few steps when the Alpha in front of him slapped him across the face and threw him to the ground, onto the snow. "He's braver than he looks."Jimin collapsed to the ground. As he begged in fear, his shrill screams faded into the dark night.
Was there no one in the whole world... He started to pray... 'Save me Omega, kill me if there's nothing you can do, let me wait for my soulmate on the other side, but don't make me go through this. Don't let other hands touch the flowers I've kept for years.'
The pain in his flowers increased, as if they had become alive. He warmed up, his whole body shivering, and his flowers became insanely hot.
As he cried, one of the Alphas kicked him hard in the stomach and he tried to defend himself in the fetal position. "Shut up! Your voice will draw everyone here!" Another kick came and the Omega gasped and lost his voice.
"We know you have nowhere to go. You're unclaimed, aren't you? What a pity... A little Omega without an owner." As he leaned down and stroked his hair, a voice he had never heard came from the right. A voice as mighty and powerful as the mountains. He didn't even shout, but his loud voice somehow managed to make the whole forest tremble.
"Leave Omega alone. He's with me."
Jimin blinked and looked fearfully in the direction of the voice and saw a silhouette approaching their position. It was a new Alpha. He couldn't see very well in the dark and was about to pass out from the pain. As he lay lifeless on the ground, the snow that had fallen with the storm began to cover him. But he could still see what was happening. Seeing the new Alpha coming and hearing his threatening growl, the other three Alphas looked at each other. They wondered if they should leave or take their chances against one person. They decided that because of his scent and his confidence, they should be afraid of this Alpha who had appeared in the middle of the night. It was obvious that they had hit a solid rock - they had made the mistake of laying their hands on his Omega.
"If he's yours, what's he doing here at this time of night?"
"Do I have to answer to you?" the newcomer replied. His voice was relaxed, without a trace of fear or lie. "If I ever see you near my pack again, or see one of you touch an Omega, they will light the fire in the square for you, and believe me, we will all enjoy watching."
He wasn't bluffing.
Leaving Jimin behind, the three strays quickly disappeared.
Jimin felt the strange Alpha come and take him in his arms. His eyes were barely open and his body trembled with a strange sensation. "You..." he said in a low whisper, but he could not go on. His weak breath came out of his lips in a faint mist and disappeared. They looked at each other in an inexplicable way for a few seconds. Jimin tried desperately to reach his eyes... All this was strange, all these feelings. But he couldn't make sense of it and soon he was lost at the edge of the frozen lake, his eyes locked on this Alpha that felt familiar.
His wolf knew, it was his wolf that sent him to the peaceful arms of sleep. Most of his difficult journey, for which he had suffered so much, was over.
Notes:
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Chapter 3: Scar
Summary:
soulmate, soulmate, soulmate...
The other half of him.
Just his...
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
2- "These Scars Long Have Yearned For Your Tender Caress"
The Alpha had to return to the cabin with an unconscious Omega in his arms, when he failed to hear the Omega’s scream as he made his way to the hunting cabin he had built on a hilltop far from the pack's winter quarters.
He could honestly admit that he hadn't expected this cold, stormy night to end like this, with a strange Omega returning to the hunting cabin where he'd never let anyone in. He really wouldn't let anyone in here except himself. This was his secret place, his safe place. Tonight, as he did when he was suffocated and bored, he wanted to get away from the pressure of his family, especially his mother, and go to the shabby hunting cabin a few hundred metres away from the frozen lake. It was hard to stay in one place when his mother and father, and even his brother and sister, were after him. He often wanted to escape even from himself, but he did not know how.
How could you stop being yourself? It always seemed like the best option was to run away. From thoughts, disappointments, pitying looks, judgements and... loneliness.
And now, as if the burden of his own life wasn't enough, he took an unknown Omega to his cabin. To the deepest, most unknown part of his life. He tried not to worry, the Omega would wake up soon and go where he was going. He hoped so. His eyes wandered back and forth to the Omega's white face under the flaky snow. He could barely make out his features in the darkness. And for some reason, looking at him gave him a strange feeling in his stomach. Maybe it was because he had already done with the Omegas. After all, he was the one who always looked for a place to run when he saw them.
His cowhide boots crunched the freshly fallen snow, and only the sound of strong footsteps broke the night. After a ten-minute walk, they reached the cabin, both white with snow. The Alpha had protected the Omega's frail body as best he could on the way, hugging him to his chest in a natural instinct to keep him warm and wrapping the dirty blanket around him, but he wasn't sure it had worked. Now that he was inside, in his cold cabin, he could put aside his body, which felt as light as a bird.
But for the first few seconds he stood in the middle of the house. It had been ten days since he had last been here. Since it was a hunting cabin, he had built it as a purpose-built one-man cabin. He'd never thought to bring an Omega with him. On the contrary, this was where he had escaped from them. It consisted of a single room, a kitchen and a bedroom. The furs and heads of the animals he had hunted hung on the wooden walls. The inside of the room always smelled of soot, the air was dry, dull and muffled. A few candlesticks and half a candle stood in the space in front of the window. After walking over to the old mattress to his right and putting down the Omega, he groped for the candles he had placed on the windowsill. After a while he managed to light three candles and the gas lamp to provide some light. Now he had to light the fireplace and heat the house.
As he grabbed the brass handle of the gas lamp and brought it up to the Omega's face, he shuddered for no reason and quickly examined the wounded face illuminated by the yellow light. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully. He almost panicked. Was he dead? They had obviously beaten him badly. He clenched his teeth and sighed. It was unacceptable thing for an Omega to be treated like that, but he'd let the Alphas go because he was in danger of being kicked out of the pack if he caused trouble again. The next time, he would do as he said and burn them alive in the fire pit they had built in the square. In his opinion, such wolves deserved only a painful death.
When the Omega stirred, the Alpha startled and retreating, as if he had not just looked at him carefully. He turned and placed the candles in their hollows and lit the remaining three candles so that the Omega would not be afraid of the darkness when he got up. Since they were out of the village, the darkness was very thick here. The wide area with the rows of houses would be brighter and more lively even in the darkest of darknesses. But that was what the Alpha was running from. The liveliness. He was one of those who preferred to punish himself in silence. He didn't even feel that he belonged to his once beloved pack. If he told his father that, he could punish him in a million different ways.
He looked around, picking up the gas lamp. This cabin that he had built on his own, years ago, with the help of a few friends, was a very small one. When young Alphas who wanted to prove their leadership in the packs reached a certain age, they would build their own houses to legitimise their existence and gain the approval of the elders. According to this mentality, if they could do anything, they could be leaders, and building a house was a good way to do it. When Alpha built this cabin five years ago, he was the fastest builder in the pack. But he didn't even have the ambition to be a leader. Still, Alpha was respected in the pack. After all, his father had an important role in the pack council, and that role would one day pass to him, the eldest Alpha son of the household.
As the snow began to melt and fall in wet flakes onto the wooden floorboards, Yoongi walked over to the corner where the fireplace stood and reached into the dusty bin where a few large logs of wood lay, luckily he'd brought some in the last time he'd been here so he didn't have to bother getting the wet wood from the woodshed outside. He wasn't really cold, but it was bloody freezing tonight. Winter didn't spare anyone, and it was even harder for relatively weak wolves like Omega. If he hadn't found him, the Omega might already be dead. There was a moment of peace, almost like a soap bubble, but it vanished quickly.
He pushed the fuzzy thoughts out of his mind and threw himself back into his work, using the small pieces of twigs to light the fire. A moment later, the fireplace began to burn noisily, warming the room. As the light from the flames illuminated the one-room cabin, the Alpha walked over to the table by the wall, pulled up a chair, took off his fur coat and threw it on the other small mattress opposite the one where the Omega lay.
And he waited without moving.
He didn't know what to do with his life. From where he stood, it looked like the end of everything and he was drowning and drowning. He was tired of feeling like this, of not being like the other Alphas. Why couldn't he just fight other people and let off steam? He had tried. He couldn't. He had even been beaten up just to feel different. That hadn't helped either. Maybe he should have done something else. Calm down. Why couldn't he just settle down and join them in this meaningless life?
He felt half-finished. Perhaps he was cursed from the moment he was born.
After about ten minutes, the room warmed up and the Omega's face, reddened by the cold, slowly returned to its natural golden colour. The Alpha had started work before he woke. He unloaded whatever was in the wooden cupboard in the corner onto the table. He hadn't been around for days, so there wasn't much left. Just a few pieces of dried meat and some fruit and vegetables. He chopped some carrots, rice and onions into an iron pot with the jerky and cooked it over the fire to make a filling meal. Omega must have been very hungry, it would be good to fill his stomach before questioning him.
The Alpha left the bubbling food on the fire and returned to the table, and after a moment Jimin moved. The Alpha stopped sharpening his old knife, which he had been doing for several minutes, and turned his suspicious gaze to the Omega.
*****
When Jimin opened his eyes, he did not expect to find himself in a warm nest. There was also a faint smell that, if it wasn't his imagination, smelled like a good meal. In fact, he hadn't eaten a proper meal for days, so anything would have tasted delicious to him at that moment. He was very, very hungry.
So where was he?
Suddenly it all made no sense. He thought he was six years old again, on that warm night when his mother and father were still alive. The smell of food filled his nose, his mother stroking his hair, his father's laughter and their last meal... He blinked his eyes and all the memories vanished. No, the reality he was living was far from his thoughts and dreams. He had to accept that he would never be a six year old boy again. Everything was different now. It was hard. Hard as hell. He couldn't remember what had happened, but he was safe.
It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. To be safe... It was like a dream...
A few candles lined up in the corner of the window to his right and a gas lamp on the table softly lit the room as the fire warmed the inside. As a strange peace filled him, his eyes finally met the stranger Alpha sitting in the chair, staring at him.
Jimin blinked his big eyes in confusion.
He heard his blood pounding in his veins. No, it was such a moment that his blood seemed to flow backwards. It was as if all words had been put into a sack and thrown into the void. He began to float in the void, hoping vainly to be heard.
'No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.... Could it really be? Could his feelings have led him to the truth this time?'
'Fuck...' He thought to himself. He rarely swore, not even internally.
'Fuck... Fuck... Fuck...'
As he felt his whole body go numb, the flowers at his waistline tingled, warmed, even burned. Just like before he saw him. Now he remembered the fear, the looks and the moment. He had passed out in his arms. He felt everything at once, as if his flowers were a rope pulling him strongly towards the Alpha. Slowly he sat up on the mattress, unable to take his eyes off the Alpha. Jimin rarely looked into the Alpha's eyes. He recognised those dark, gloomy, mysterious eyes.
These were the eyes that he had been dreaming about for a very long time.
His wolf was silent, as if in confirmation. 'You will never walk alone again...'
His throat went dry and he swallowed as his heart began to beat in a rhythm he didn't know. It all happened in a matter of seconds, but to Jimin it seemed like years, and finally a weak voice came from between his cracked lips.
"Yoonie..." he said in a surprised voice. For the first time in twenty years, today, at midnight on the end of his birthday, he said the name out loud.
It was happening...
His wolf always tells him: "When you find your mate, you'll know."
He knew. Every corner of his mind screamed his name, his body trembled, his flowers cried out.
But his wolf was silent. Was it waiting for a step? What should he do?
The Alpha didn't react for a few seconds when he heard the way Jimin had called him. He wasn't even sure if he had heard it right, he was seeing him for the first time in his life and so he couldn't have used a nickname that belonged to him, and what intimacy was that? He had definitely misunderstood, it was because he hadn't slept for days.
As he stood up quickly, the wooden chair behind him toppled to the floor. Jimin jumped, a sudden fear filling his eyes.
As he walked over to the Omega, the Alpha refused to sit next to him, and after sitting down on the mattress opposite him, he asked in a firm voice, "Do you know me?" He became restless. Something in the Omega's gaze bothered him. Maybe it had been a big mistake to bring him here. But what else could he do? He couldn't leave him at the mercy of evil Alphas. He never could do that.
"I-I..." the Omega began, badly stunned. "Don't you know me?"
Without looking at him, the Alpha peeled back the knitted blanket and answered without thinking. "No," he said. "This is the first time I've seen you. You're not from our pack."
"But I..."
"Just because I saved your life doesn't mean I should recognise you." He snapped, almost angrily. What nonsense... "Should I have let you die?"
Jimin watched him carefully, trying to reach the eyes that refused to meet his. It was as if the Alpha had sworn not to look at him anymore, as if there was an unbreakable wall against him. Maybe he was acting out of surprise.
If he felt it, the Alpha must have felt it too. Maybe he was afraid. Who knew what he had been through during this long search. He talked it all out, now that they were reunited, the rest didn't matter. Jimin took a shaky breath and tried to calm down. He had to calm down. Everything was fine. It was Yoonie. Every fibre of his being knew it was him. He swallowed hard as his eyes filled with tears.
'Soulmate, soulmate, soulmate...
Tho other half of him.
Just his...'
He scanned the exposed parts of the Alpha with his eyes. He hoped to see a flower, a familiar trace. But there was none. Perhaps the flowers were on his waist like his own, hidden. He felt an endless longing to see them. "Thank you." He whispered as he put his hand to his heart, which was beating in a rapid rhythm.
“For what?”
“You saved me.”
'In every sense. Now my life has meaning. My search is over. All the roads I've travelled have brought me to you.' He couldn't say any of it. Even though he'd prepared for this moment a thousand times, now he was speechless, he couldn't do anything.
"I did what I had to do," The Alpha said in a straight voice this time. He almost thought he didn't like talking to him. Was he blowing him off? Oh, no. He wouldn't. Soulmates valued each other's opinion. Jimin tried again. "Yoonie-"
But this time the Alpha really frowned at him. "My name is Min Yoongi, Omega!"
When Jimin heard his voice getting louder, he flinched away from him. He crawled under the blankets, suppressed the urge to cry and turned his full eyes towards the fire. He was speechless. It was a cruel, disorientating shock. How could he not recognise him? But the name was his... Yoongi... Yoonie... They were the same. He wanted to call his Alpha that, why was he angry with him?
"You're hurt." The Alpha changed the subject, his eyes on Jimin's leg. When he had fallen, his knee and the back of his leg had been badly bruised and his trousers had been torn. The Alphas had also beaten him mercilessly. But now it didn't hurt nearly as much as Yoongi had hurt him.
A thousand Alphas couldn't have hurt him like this.
He wanted to grab him by the lapels of his jumper and shake him, yell and scream at him until he looked him in the eye and screamed, 'Don't you really know me?' There was something wrong with that.
Instead he said, "It's just a scratch." It was a lie, it was serious, but who cared?
But the Alpha didn't listen, and after getting up and returning with a cloth from the wooden cupboard opposite, he sat down in front of him again. "It will get worse if we don't treat it." As he was about to touch his finger to his exposed skin, Jimin pulled his leg away in fear and wrapped his arms around his knees. He felt like he would collapse if the Alpha touched him. He resented him. How could he yell at his soulmate like that?
He'd spent most of his life looking for him and thinking about him, but he'd never imagined a scenario where he wouldn't recognise him. Thousands of days... Thousands of hopes and dreams were now shattered and he couldn't hold back. He could not blame this on his Alpha. Something must have gone wrong. He would correct it.
Yoongi put aside the harsh tone in his voice and softened it so as not to frighten him. He didn't know why he was being so rude. He was an innocent Omega who had just been abused by the Alphas and he didn't recognise him. He didn't deserve this treatment and it wasn't fair. He clenched his teeth. His decision to stay away from the Omegas had turned him into an unguided savage. He wanted to punish himself.
"You don't want me to touch you?"
Jimin nodded his head quietly, as if he would cry if he spoke.
"You're right. I should have asked." Yoongi sighed calmly, folded the damp cloth and handed it to him. "Then you do it. Clean your wound."
Jimin looked at his hand for a while, it was bony, with long, shapely fingers. At least his skin was as he had imagined it. It was white, showing his veins. He swallowed sadly. He wanted to examine his face, his body, until he knew every inch of it. But he lowered his eyes, picked up the cloth and struggled to clean his wound through his wet, bloody trousers.
It was hard when Yoongi was watching him. Even impossible. He couldn't do it.
"You should change your clothes, they're wet. Clean your wound later," he said in a flat voice. "I've got some spare clothes here. You'll be all right for now. The pack territory is a few miles away. Stop by before you leave tomorrow and get some clothes."
"Am I going?" Jimin asked in a shaky voice. "Go where?"
Yoongi didn't expect this answer and looked at him. "You mean you have nowhere to go?"
'I came to you. You were my only place. Now your doors are closed in my face as well.' Jimin shook his head gently and put the cloth aside. He couldn't lie. He couldn't leave him.
"Don't you have anyone?"
"You..." he wanted to continue, but he didn't want to hurt his pride any more. The sadness he felt tonight would last him a year. Now that his soulmate's doors were slammed in his face, he should have died. Maybe tomorrow he should have thrown himself off a high cliff. Perhaps that was his destiny. His wolf must have meant death when he said the reunion was near. He sniffed, the tip of his hazel nose was red.
"I'm what?"
"Nothing..."
"Are you an outcast?" Yoongi's voice actually softened when he asked this question for the first time.
"Yeah. I guess I am."
"I guess so?"
Would someone ever die of heartache? If so, Jimin wouldn't survive the night.
Jimin shrugged. When the Alpha stood up, he followed him with his eyes. This one-room cabin was not his home. It was nowhere. When the Alpha returned with a pile of folded clothes, he handed them to the Omega. "Put these on, I'll wait outside."
Jimin looked at the thick clothes. They were stained with the Alpha's scent. He shivered with sadness. If he put them on, he might never want to take them off, even if he was forced to give them, this was the first thing Jimin had ever received from his soulmate. "I don't want to get my scent on your clothes." he said embarrassedly, shaking his head from side to side.
"It's okay. I'll wash it off."
Jimin lifted his broken eyes from the clothes and quickly fixed them on the Alpha. He didn't know how each word could hurt more than the last. The Alpha returned his gaze for a second, then grabbed his coat and left the cabin. Jimin put his hands over his face in disappointment and tried to deal with his feelings.
He had to calm down. He had to do something. He was so tired now, maybe that was why their wolves didn't connect, why the bond wasn't complete? He would treat his wounds and get some sleep. Tomorrow, when he woke up refreshed, perhaps the bond would be complete. Yes, that's it. He had to believe it.
What else would he have to believe in?
He took a deep breath, calmed himself and shed no tears. Alpha's imposing shadow fell outside the window. Jimin immediately put on the baggy brown turtleneck he had been given and took off the torn pants underneath, putting on Alpha's pants instead. They were a bit too big for him, so he tied the waist with a rubber band he'd found in his pocket. After a while, he found himself lifting the jumper to his nose and sniffing it. That's when he smelled the Alpha's faint scent. The scent of his soulmate. It smelled like the inside of a house, and if there was something comforting and reassuring about it, he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
It was a scent of pain, a scent of sadness, but why? He'd never heard of an Alpha smelling like that before.
When the Alpha knocked on the door, he straightened up and sat down on the mattress.
"You can come in." he said softly.
The Alpha had been out for two minutes, but he was covered in snow. The storm outside was still raging. After shaking off his clothes, he approached him. He hadn't noticed how his clothes looked on him, not even out of the corner of his eye.
Jimin had never felt so small and worthless before. He didn't care if everyone looked at him and humiliated him, but this time it was his soulmate. That hurt the most. He had dedicated himself to him all this time... All these years. But he had never received anything in return.
Yoongi ordered him from where he was. "Pull up your trousers and clean your wound."
Jimin obeyed and pulled the thick cloth up to his knees. He didn't even have the strength to blink anymore. But he still tried to wipe the wound with the cloth, clenching his teeth because it hurt. "You're doing it wrong." Yoongi said.
But Jimin didn't hear him, he had other things on his mind, he whimpered as he accidentally touched the cut on his kneecap with his fingers. It looked really bad. His thin legs were covered in dried blood. Jimin must have hit a sharp stone or a jagged piece of ice when the stray Alphas had pushed him. He couldn't remember.
Yoongi looked into the Omega's face. "Are you sure you want to do it yourself?" His voice was still as cold as a winter storm.
Jimin gave up. Whatever was going to happen could happen, he didn't care. The Alpha's touch was as cold as his voice, he didn't think he would remember anything the moment they touched. Besides, there was no strength left in his trembling fingers. He shook his head from side to side. "I don't want to get you into trouble." he said hesitantly. "But I can't... My hands are shaking."
Yoongi said nothing, didn't try to comfort him. Instead, he approached him, bent down and gently held the Omega's thin, bare thigh. Jimin gasped at the feel of his touch, wanted to cry, but he didn't move. How could a touch that should feel like home feel this cold?
This contact lasted for a short moment. Jimin shivered again when Yoongi stopped examining the wound. He withdrew his hand and rubbed the cloth soaked in a mixture of herbs on his skin and began to clean the dried blood. Noticing that he was shivering, the Alpha asked, "Are you cold?"
'N- No..." More than cold, his blood was frozen.
"It's almost over." he cleaned his kneecap and wrapped his leg in a thin white cloth. "It'll scab over in a few days, but you shouldn't walk too much."
"How am I supposed to go if I can't walk?" Maybe he would say he could stay.
Yoongi paused and looked at him, then continued. Their skin did not touch again while he treated his wound. He refrained from touching him. Maybe it was because of his reaction just before. "This is the hunting cabin. There is enough food and firewood for a few days. You can stay here until you feel better."
"What about you?" he asked hopefully.
"I'm going back to the village tomorrow." He stopped again. "I'll bring you some new clothes."
"I have nothing to give you" -Just my heart, he thought to himself.-
"My last money... was stolen by those wolves."
"Those strays?"
Yoongi sighed when Jimin nodded his head. "I don't expect anything in return, but I'm curious. What were you doing in the forest at midnight?"
"I..." Whatever he said would have been a lie. If he said he'd been kicked out of the pack, wouldn't he ask why? If he said he was looking for his soulmate and showed him his flowers, wouldn't he think he was cursed and take him to the fire he was talking about? Wouldn't he be killed? Wasn't he already dead? He was in a situation where he could not even trust his soul mate. "I'm an Omega, rejected by the pack."
It was a slap in Yoongi's face. He'd never seen an Omega outcast before, they lived far away, in a bad neighbourhood with the fallen. Mostly prostitutes. Rebels and strays were usually Alphas. He couldn't believe it. "Why?" he asked, confused. "It's too dangerous for Omegas. Why didn't you fit into the pack?"
Was he worried about him? Jimin pressed his lips together and shook his head. "I tried. They wouldn't accept me..." He swallowed, his eyes welling up. Noticing that he was struggling, the Alpha decided not to press him any further. It was none of his business. He was far from his pack and his territory. If he was dangerous, he was too far away to hurt them. He didn't seem to be dangerous, though.
"There you go. I'll check it tomorrow, and if it's not closed, I'll seal it with fire."
"Seal it?" he asked, his words always coming out without thinking. He clenched his fists in his lap and fell silent.
"Yes," the Alpha said, looking away. "So it doesn't get infected."
"O-okay."
"It'll hurt a bit."
"I'm resilient." It was something life had forced him to do. But if he had had the choice, he would have chosen life under the safe arms of his Alpha and never been in harm's way.
Yoongi stood up and took the food that was cooking on the fire, poured it into a bowl on the table and looked at him. "Eat."
"Really?" No one had ever given him food for free before. Hope filled him, he struggled to get up and walked to the table, careful not to step.
Yoongi handed him a wooden spoon and watched as he sat down. "This is what was in the cabin." The Alpha said as Jimin looked at the steaming food. "Potatoes, rice and carrots..."
"That looks delicious." Jimin took a whiff of the food. "Thank you very much."
Yoongi didn't answer him. Jimin couldn't stand it any longer and dipped the spoon into the food. But his hands were shaking, it was because of what he'd been through. He couldn't hide it and he blushed with embarrassment when all the rice spilled on him at the first try. Yoongi had noticed everything. "Sorry." he said, looking at him embarrassedly out of the corner of his eye. "I'll clean it up right away."
He was afraid he would be yelled at again, but was surprised when the Alpha took the spoon from his hand and pulled the bowl in front of him. He thought he had lost the right to eat. "Open your mouth." the Alpha commanded. Yoongi dipped the spoon into the food and put it into Jimin's mouth, surprising him and making his eyes widen.
Jimin obeyed immediately and a moment later he was chewing the hot food, it was delicious. So delicious that his eyes almost rolled back. "It's delicious." he said as he passed out. Another spoonful was ready and waiting at his lips. "Sorry to bother you." he said as he folded his hands in his lap.
"Hopefully it won't be for long."
Jimin found it hard to chew his new bite. He couldn't even be coy with him. "I'll eat it." he said, taking the spoon from his hand after nodding his head gently. "Really."
"As you wish." As the Alpha got up from the chair and walked across the room, Jimin watched the Alpha's broad back with sadness. He was big and well formed, but he had seen bigger men. He wasn't very tall either. He was no more than ten centimetres taller than Jimin. Jimin blushed like a child when he was caught staring at the Alpha and turned back to swallow the hot food floating in the bowl. This time he tried very hard not to shake his hand. Not to be a burden to him. His pride was hurt, yes, but he was so hungry he couldn't stop eating.
Still, he consoled himself like a fool. His soulmate had prepared a meal for him. For him... Jimin was always so good at comforting himself. Even if Yoonie didn't know that he was his soulmate.
After he had finished his meal, he swallowed a glass of water and wiped the corner of his mouth on his sleeve. Then he realised that it wasn't his clothes and caught the Alpha in his panic. He was afraid he would get angry, but Yoongi ignored him, looked away and picked up his bowl. "I'll do it." the Omega jumped in. "Where are you doing the dishes?"
"Outside." But he took the dishes and put them in the corner where there were small shelves and a partition. "I'll do it tomorrow. Are you full?"
"Thank you, it was delicious." He pressed his lips together and looked in front of him. "I haven't eaten this well in a long time."
"I can see that," he stared at him, not expecting the words to be his. "You're so thin."
"Oh..." He scratched his neck. "I'll be fine, don't worry."
Yoongi turned his back to him and put a spare pillow on a smaller mattress on the other side, then started blowing out the candles one by one. "Go to sleep now. You can sleep here."
"This is your place... isn't it?"
"You're injured. It's more comfortable here."
"But you can't..."
"I can," he protested, then without waiting for Jimin to go to bed, he lay down on the mattress and turned his back.
Jimin suddenly felt very happy. He had saved him, brought him home, made him food, healed his wound and now he was giving him his bed.
"Good night, Yoongi." he murmured as he reached the mattress and slipped under the covers. But when he gets no answer from the Alpha, the soulmate on the other side of the room, he goes to sleep, thinking that everything will disappear with the dawn.
Chapter 4: Park Jimin
Chapter Text
"I came to you in pieces so that you could make me whole again."
When Jimin opened his sleepy eyes hours later, it was already light and the fire that had warmed the cabin had long since gone out. Scanning the room with big, confused eyes, Jimin stood still for a few seconds, trying to remember what had happened, and then the memories of yesterday flooded his mind. So much had happened that his head felt as heavy as a stone.
Was it all a dream? Was this Alpha... This Alpha he had thought of as his soulmate, not real? Perhaps he was the one who had brought him here, to this safe house. Could that be possible? He was almost relieved, because if the Alpha he had met yesterday was real. Then he would have to deal with not recognising him. It would be nice to have another chance, of course. He would prefer a mate who knew him.
When the faint scent hit his nose, the reality of what had happened collapsed in front of him. The Alpha, whose name was Yoongi, had given him his own clothes and now Jimin was starting to smell like him. His pheromones, wounded and starved for days, were very weak, so another scent easily masked his own.
Unimaginable and unexpected things were happening in his life. For a moment he had the suspicion that if he were to look in the mirror he would see the face of someone else. It was as if the life he was living did not belong to him. And perhaps he had spent his short life searching for a soulmate who was never his. The questions were many, the answers equally impossible and distant.
After looking to both sides, he tried to stand, but stopped when the sharp pain in his leg, bandaged by the Alpha last night, made itself felt. Pushing aside the thick, plain-coloured blanket that covered him up to his knees, he saw his injured leg. He must have done something wrong in his sleep last night, for his trousers were once again lightly stained with blood. Neither the bandage nor the herbal remedy that was supposed to stop the bleeding and heal the scabs seemed to have worked. If it had been spring, he would have dug into the earth, as he had been taught to do by the healers, and treated his wound with the rare herbs he had found. Sighing and rubbing his thigh with his fingers, his eyes went to the wooden window behind the old curtain. It was white and deserted outside, and this time he reached out and pulled the curtain a little to the right. The snow seemed untouched, there was no one around. just the surrounding fir trees and this little hut in the middle of nowhere.
Where was his Yoonie? His Alpha, who wasn't his.
He had to stop call him Yoonie, the Alpha didn't like that. He shouted at him. But he'd always dreamed of this moment. The moment he called him by his name, his flowers would bloom with the strength they had never bloomed before. It was disappointing.
He was about to worry that he had been left here. Then he noticed the crumpled piece of paper at his feet and picked it up. The Alpha must have put it there, leaving a note for him when he left early that morning. How thoughtful of him. It turned out that he had been wrong about him. Perhaps in a few days everything would be fine. He examined the broken handwriting in crooked letters, the words were written quickly and no matter how hard Jimin tried, he couldn't get beyond a few syllables. If he could have stayed with the seer who had taught him to read and write for a few more weeks, he would undoubtedly have been able to read easily. Or perhaps this pack's alphabet was different from the one he had learned, for there were strange shapes on the paper that he had never seen before.
He was angry with himself. Maybe it was very important that he read the writing on the paper. He was incompetent. What was Yoongi supposed to do with a soulmate like him?
Inhaling angrily, he stood up and started walking, drawing strength from the wooden walls. Indeed, there was no sign of the Alpha. Only a pot of food, still warm, stood by the extinguished fire. He must have left him. And he was right. Someone like him would have caused trouble. Especially when they saw his flowers.
Jimin had always grown up with this awareness. His flowers were loved and feared by no one. They even disgusted him. So he kept them hidden. Until the moment came when he couldn't. That moment never came, he just thought it would. Last night it came closer than ever. As if it would be over if he touched them, as if everything would be solved if he showed them. But it wasn't.
What a disappointment… His soulmate didn't recognise him. He didn't have any flowers. He was so sure that he didn't. Would it be like this? Yoongi would have been cast out of the pack, just like him. He wanted to know all about him. But nothing would work out the way he'd imagined.
God must have hated Jimin to give him this punishment. God was cruel and each time he came up with a more difficult test.
He looked out the window again. He didn't know what to do. So he tried to read the paper for a while longer, staring intently at the writing, as if the code would be decoded if he looked at it long enough. Then he got bored, grumbled, put the paper in a corner, ate cold and boiled potatoes, and began to tidy up the place in his wounded state. He would have done some exploring too. He also urgently needed to go to the toilet. Still, being all alone in this mountainside was something that scared him. All his life he had tried to avoid danger, to stay away from the eyes of the Alphas, he had spent his life that way, but of course he had gotten into trouble many times. He had trusted the wrong people and almost fallen into bad ways. Each of them had made him a coward instead of a braver man.
He took a deep breath and regained his confidence. His eyes were drawn to the various stuffed animal heads like deer hanging on the wooden walls and the primitive weapons, sharp knives and arrows. This place was really made for an Alpha. Jimin wondered about his real home. He didn't even know which pack he belonged to.
He didn't know how many hours had passed since he'd woken up. There was nothing at home to use as a clock, so he started watching the sun. The sun was just above his head, so it must have been midday. When he couldn't sit still and did nothing, he limped out the door. The shoes he'd just taken off to go to the toilet were on the doorstep. He put them back on and looked around, he heard the wolf howling in the distance, it sent shivers down his spine and something inside him told him to hide. Jimin took a step anyway and walked around to the back of the house where he came across another makeshift structure. What Yoongi had called a hunting cabin was actually a shelter with a round roof and a tiny chimney rising from a makeshift foundation. Jimin returned to his work and continued to look around for firewood while he tried to pull the heavy plank in front of him and succeeded at the second attempt, but this time he slipped in the snow and before he realised what had happened his body was on the ground. The freshly fallen snow was covered with hard ice, so it hurt badly, but he got up quickly.
Last night's wood had already burned to ashes, and he needed to warm the house before the Alpha arrived. Bending down, he stuffed as many of the slightly damp oak logs into his lap as he could. Then he turned, taking care to leave the woodshed as he had found it.
When the Alpha returned to the cabin, he wanted to welcome him with a warm home. The first thing he did when he limped into the house was to light a fire in the fireplace. He was very good at starting fires, but this time he had some difficulty. Fortunately, there were plenty of matches in this hut, so his work was not difficult.
As the house began to warm up, Jimin tidied up the mattress where he had slept last night and tried three times to fold the blankets neatly. When his own bed was ready, he went over to Yoongi's bed on the floor and stiffened when he suddenly found himself on his knees, pressing Yoongi's pillow to his nose, he needed him so much.
He couldn't accept it.
It was impossible to deal with his unwantness. His throat tightened. He shouldn't have been so sensitive to his scent, he shouldn't have let himself go, it would have been terrible for him. If Yoongi found out that he had feelings for him, it would be easy for him to kick him out. Even if he said they were soulmates, he couldn't get away with it, he would end up in the arms of death.
Controlling his emotions, he continued to tidy up, trying not to think about anything. He collected the pieces of wood from the floor and put them in a bucket, then swept the shabby carpet with a reed broom. Then he rummaged through the contents of a sack to see if there was anything edible. There was nothing left but a few apples and carrots. He picked up the apple and before he started to nibble at it, he took the thin candle from the windowsill and pressed it against the soft surface of the apple. After lighting the candle, he whispered a little birthday song to himself. After all, it was his birthday, and no matter what he had been through, he still had a lot to be thankful for.
'Happy birthday.' He closed his eyes and blew out the candle, wishing for a wish that was both very close and very far from being fulfilled. 'Please let my soulmate love me.'
He was now a twenty year old Omega. He had spent most of his life in the cold, unforgiving land where Omegas did not live long after their successive births. He was alive, though a little wounded, and perhaps weeks away from his first heat. He wanted to experience that special moment when everything was settled. Rutting seasons varied from species to species, and Omegas had the hardest.
He was lost in thought as he nibbled at his apple. Even though it had been a relatively quiet day, his wounded state had forced his body. He'd never taken care of himself, and he wasn't going to start now. It was what he was used to, working non-stop and making the most of life. The wound on his leg had been pushed too hard, and Omega only noticed it when he sat down. Stripping off his trousers, he saw that the wound was worse than it had been in the morning, and slightly bruised. Wrapping the dirty bandage around his leg again, he sat back and prayed for the blood to stop. He didn't want Alpha to see him like this when he came. He didn't want to give him any trouble.
Seal, the Alpha had said. Seal the wound. Could Jimin do it himself? His eyes went to the fine-tipped tongs they used to stir the fire, but he didn't dare.
After a while Jimin felt his eyes grow heavy, he stopped pressing his wound and surrendered to the tempting arms of sleep.
*****
When Yoongi came home in the evening with his belongings in hand, he first saw the bloodstains on the front door and his heart skipped a beat with fear. At first he thought that someone had come and hurt the Omega he had rescued the night before. Who had dared to trespass on his property. No, that wouldn't happen again. He couldn't bear to see anyone else get hurt because of him. As he slowly opened the wooden door, he stiffened when he saw the Omega sitting on the mattress, asleep, unconscious even. And when this image reminded him of something he had buried deep inside for a long time, a painful memory, everything in his hands hit the ground with a loud thud. His leg was covered in blood, as were his hands.
When he recovered from the momentary shock wave, he came to his senses and rushed to the mattress where Jimin was sitting. He couldn't understand what he had done to his wound. All he had to do was lie still. He realised this a moment later when he scanned the inside of the cabin with his eyes. The fire was burning and, for God's sake... The hunting cabin looked tidier and cleaner than ever. Everything was sparkling. Yoongi frowned when he found the note he had left in Omega's bloody palm.
"Don't move until I get back."
It was easy to understand. He'd done everything but sit down. He'd be angry about that later. Now he had to stop the bleeding. The wound was in the kneecap, so the slightest movement would interrupt the scabbing process. Once, when he was a child, he had fallen and hurt himself there and his mother had to tie his ankle to the bed to let it heal, otherwise he would have run to his friends.
Yoongi kept his cool and acted very quickly, and when the tip of the iron tongs he had heated over the fire turned red, he turned to the side where he had placed the Omega. The Omega, whose name he didn't even know, had fallen lifelessly to his side and the beautiful shadow of his eyelashes had fallen across his cheek. Yoongi watched him for a moment, he was about to hurt him badly. Doubting that he was still alive, he leaned close to the Omega's face, relieved to feel his weak breath on his lips. On second thought, knowing that he couldn't do it, he pressed the tip of the tongs firmly over the wound he had just cleaned. He regretted now that he had been afraid to take him to the healer and become the centre of the pack's gossip. No matter what they said, no... he couldn't do it.
Jimin, who was badly injured, opened his eyes screaming. He tried to push him away from his shoulder when he saw the Alpha leaning towards his leg with the first shock. He was about to lose himself again. "Let me go! Help me!" His screams turned into cries and Yoongi had to grab his arms to keep him from moving. "Stop, you want to die Omega!"
When Jimin recovered from the shock and looked at the Alpha who was staring at him with hard eyes, he calmed down and fell silent. He leaned his back against the wall and began to sob bitterly in pain. He almost attacked him, and all the Alpha did was try to heal him. "I'm sorry..." he said after a while, the pain so great that drops of sweat formed on his forehead. The Alpha grunted and pulled the hot tongs from the wound. "What are you apologising for?"
"I... I didn't mean to scream, that's all."
Yoongi took the bandage without a care. Thought about giving him his pheromones to comfort him, but then decided not to. It was all down to his alpha instincts. If he tried to listen to them, he would probably wrap the Omegas around him. "How did you get like this? If I came back in a few hours, who knows what state you would be in. Your blood pressure must have dropped from the loss of blood. Don't you know that Omegas are much more vulnerable to injury?"
"I... just..." he mumbled, not understanding half of what he was saying.
"I told you not to move and to rest."
His innocent eyes widened. "You told me?"
"Yes, I wrote it down." He hesitated as he looked at the paper Jimin had taken from his hand and tossed into the bucket in front of the fireplace bed. "I left a note."
"Well, I... I couldn't read it." Jimin admitted in a weak tone after a long moment of silence, looking down at the paper in front of him.
"What? Why?"
'...' The answer was silence.
Yoongi realised that he would understand, he shook his head from side to side, "My writing is not very legible." Omega probably couldn't read or write, but he didn't want to embarrass him, he was in a bad enough situation as it was. He made the bandage even tighter this time, and after tying the two ends together, he rolled down the leg of the baggy trousers that belonged to him. "I've closed your wound, you'll have trouble walking for a while. You need to rest. And don't try to do anything you're not supposed to."
Jimin followed him with his eyes. "I made you angry." he said quietly, not a question but a statement.
"I didn't ask you to clean my house, there's no need for that."
"I just wanted to do something... Because you were taking care of me..."
"No need." He cut him off. "I am not dishonourable enough to expect anything in return from a helpless Omega."
But until now, everyone had expected Jimin to repay everything.
"Okay." He said carefully. He didn't know whether to get up from the floor and lie on the mattress or on the floor, so he looked both ways hesitantly. His heart was still beating fast, who knew, maybe his pheromones had filled the room. His eyes went to the sacks on the floor, the food and clothes inside spilled as well.
When he reached out to pick them up, Yoongi pushed his hand away and scolded him again. "What did I tell you?" This time he deserved it.
"Okay, I'll try to do what you say from now on." He said like a submissive wolf. Just like the way he treated those who looked after him in the packs.
Yoongi was surprised by this easy acceptance, but he kept his cold attitude towards him. As an Alpha, the more he put his feelings first, the more he would fail in life and in his father's eyes. It would probably be the stupidest thing he could do to casually show his feelings to someone who had suddenly come into his life. "I'll carry you to the mattress." he said after clearing his throat. Although he didn't say it in a permissive tone or even sounded like an order, the Alpha was actually asking for permission.
"Fine." Jimin said as if he already knew that. He was in no condition to get up right now.
As soon as he took his hand in his lap, the Alpha grabbed his waist in a tight, almost possessive grip. Jimin held his breath because he didn't know what else to do. His fingers almost touched the flowers. In those few seconds, Jimin got a tiny taste of what it was like to have a soulmate. He was close to the Alpha's warm chest and felt the intense pheromones coursing through his veins. And the arms around him felt so safe and warm that he almost cried. The contact between them ended as if it had never happened, as the Alpha gently laid him down on the mattress like broken porcelain. "Thank you so much." Jimin murmured a moment later as the Alpha picked up the spilled items and placed them on the table.
"I brought you some kimchi and tinned beans and some rice porridge."
The Omega nodded, watching his every move as if to memorise it.
"Thank you, you're very kind. You make an effort for me."
Yoongi didn't seem to hear him. "There's some tinned fish. Do you like it? Jungkook caught the fish."
For the first time, Jimin noticed that he was speaking in a friendly way, his lip curled slightly to the side. He felt warm inside. "Who is Jungkook?" He asked with a cheerful voice.
"My brother." The Alpha paused, eager to continue, and then stopped.
But Jimin didn't give up, cleared his throat and dared to say: "I guess you have a big family." Yoongi stopped sorting the cans out of the bag for a moment, turned his head and looked at the Omega. "Packs are made up of big families."
"My parents had no one, and our pack was small." Jimin said, trying to keep his voice cheerful, but it was difficult, and his eyes filled with tears whenever he remembered the faces that were fading from his memory.
"Didn't you have a brother?"
"I had no one." His voice trailed off. I was an only child. He smiled bitterly. "You should treasure your siblings."
Yoongi didn't answer, but handed him the full bag he'd never touched. When Jimin asked what it was, he shrugged. As if he was only allowed five sentences a day.
Jimin didn't ask any more questions and took what he gave him. Carefully taking the bag from his hand, he untied it and a pile of colourful clothes came out. Knitted fabrics from thin to thick, patterned to plain. His pale eyes lit up as he poured the clothes into his lap. What the hell are these? Even though they were used and mostly old, they were all new to Jimin. He had never owned so many clothes before.
"Hoseok from the pack gave them to me, he didn't need them. I thought you might need them." the Alpha said, avoiding his eyes. Hoseok was a friend of his. He ran a small shop full of goodies in the bazaar in the rich land where the pack had settled. He was a Beta and knew a lot about Omegas. When Yoongi came to him with a request for clothes, he couldn't help but make fun of him and tried to get the words out of his mouth. Luckily, Yoongi was a secretive person, so he couldn't insist too much and stuffed everything he didn't use anymore into a big bag. Before Yoongi left, he chuckled and said, "Say hello to this mysterious Omega of yours."
Yoongi didn't have an Omega. And he never would have. Never, under no circumstances. Gritting his teeth, he hurried out of the market where the wolves roamed and shopped, trying to get back to the hunting lodge without getting caught by anyone. His parents were giving him enough trouble as it was. He didn't want any more trouble. He had to send this unknown Omega away as soon as possible. He couldn't take care of him with the terrible and uncertain days ahead of him. Maybe he should poison himself, kill his wolf or cripple himself until he could no longer function. Such useless, evil thoughts kept running through his mind.
He had just reached the path leading into the forest when he bumped into his mother. He stopped and hid the bags in his hands behind his back. His mother had already noticed, of course, so he'd have to come up with a reasonable lie.
"Yoongi! I've been looking all over for you, where have you been?"
"Where was I supposed to be, Mum?" He grunted. "I was at the hunting cabin."
"You took too long this time." His mother took his arm, she was wearing a long khaki dress. "Where are you going now, what's that in your hand?"
Yoongi looked at the bags as if he knew nothing about them, then cursed inwardly. "These... Hoseok gave them to me. He told me to give them to someone in need, so I gave them to Grandma Juna."
"Ah... my thoughtful son, how good of you."
He tried to shake her off as he had to walk in the opposite direction to where he was going with his mother. "I'm going back to the hunting cabin, don't expect me for dinner."
"Enough, hunting and hunting... we have enough food for a year, Yoongi. Aren't you overdoing it?"
When they reached the street where the cabins were lined up, the Alpha got out of his mother's arm. "I'm not hunting, I'm relaxing. Would you rather I stay here and fight with someone?"
"Hasn't it been too long, Yoongi?" His mother squinted at him, her face filled with the signs of age in many places. "We need to have a serious talk now. We should start preparing for the wedding. How long will Yuna wait for you?"
Yoongi gritted his teeth. "Mum!" He said wearily. "I didn't promise her anything." He walked quickly to the end of the street before she had to say more.
He knew he couldn't run any further. With the weight of all this in his head and the bags in his hands, he made his way to the hunting cabin.
Thinking about what had happened, he came to himself and looked into the Omega's questioning eyes. "Hoseok. He runs a shop in the local bazaar. Full of trinkets... the kind of place Omegas would love." He almost said, 'I'll take you with me.' He couldn't. He was out of the pack and always would be.
"Yeah, that's right! Who doesn't like colourful clothes? And they're... They're soft." He rubbed the green jumper lightly against his cheek. "You're so thoughtful."
No, it wasn't thoughtful, he grunted, almost embarrassed. "Thank Hoseok. I didn't do anything."
Ignoring him, Jimin clutched his presents, he didn't know who Hoseok was, but he had made him very happy. He'd never had so much clothes. "These are the nicest birthday presents I've ever gotten."
Yoongi's eyebrows furrowed. "What? Birthday?"
"Yes. Today was my birthday." Jimin smiled as if he had years of exhaustion on his face.
The Alpha swallowed, what should he tell him? And he couldn't understand how he could look so happy. Yesterday, in the early hours of his birthday, he had been close to death. He had obviously been through some terrible things. He was strong, no doubt, and the Alpha almost envied him. Then he murmured quickly, without looking at him. "Happy birthday."
The Omega thanked him without stopping smiling for a moment.
This was no longer a comfortable place for the Alpha. Yoongi didn't know what to do with this Omega. It was strange the way he looked at him with those smiling eyes. He almost thought he enjoyed being with him. He shoved his hands into his pockets, cleared his throat and called out in a hurry to get out of this suffocating moment. "I'm outside." He opened the door and looked over his shoulder at the Omega. "By the way, what's your name?" he asked before leaving. He couldn't help but wonder. In a way, this was the beginning of the end.
Jimin smiled warmly and his honey-coloured eyes narrowed. "Park Jimin." He said. "I thought you'd never ask..."
Chapter 5: Marriage
Chapter Text
4- "The heart of you that has been deprived of love.”
Listening to the Alpha's warnings and advice, Jimin did not move from his bed and found a way to make himself happy by keeping himself occupied for an hour. He was happy. He really was. Despite his wounds, despite the fact that his soulmate had never recognised him, despite his despair, he was happy and hopeful for their future. Instead of his old rags, the Alpha had brought him new and slightly used clothes. They would last Jimin for years. He had a roof over his head and an Alpha who protected and cared for him, and that was the best.
Okay, he wasn't exactly his Alpha at the moment, but he wasn't anyone else's either. They were both wolves without mates. And Jimin was sure that he would find a way into his heart, he would break the chains of his heart, he would break in, and just like he had cleared the cobwebs from the cabin, he would clear his cold heart from the lonely, cold webs of lovelessness.
They had so much to talk about. He believed that if Jimin expressed himself to him, Yoongi would understand him and everything would be fine, even if slowly.
But he wished that Yoongi hadn't been so elusive, that he had been willing to listen to him. What Jimin had to say was important and he was sure that he would agree with him if he listened. But the Omega had never been listened to by the Alphas either, he didn't know how to talk, where to start. He couldn't suddenly tell him, ‘I'm your soulmate, look at this.’ Besides, he was afraid it would backfire. And as much as he knew Yoongi, he was sure it would backfire. He didn't look like the Alpha of his dreams. He was short-tempered, impulsive, angry and indifferent. Perhaps the reason for his behaviour was that he had lived a life without a soulmate.
After placing his hand on his waist and lightly touching his thumb to his waistline, he felt a pain there and became alarmed. This time it was different from the others. Yoongi had gone out to chop wood, so he was home alone. He searched the lighted room with his eyes until he found his bag. Finding his torn, dark-coloured bag on the cushions in the opposite corner, he limped over and picked it up, and after returning to the mattress, he hurriedly took out his mirror. He wiped the dust from the mirror, which was even more cracked after yesterday's fight, with the sleeve of his jumper and pulled the mirror closer to his flowers, taking off the brown jumper Yoongi had given him. It was a pity that he could only see them this way. If it weren't for the mirror, he would have no news of his flowers, those beautiful, priceless little miracles.
Everyone called them a curse, everyone bad-mouthed them, insulted them. Jimin remembered how he had hated the flowers at first, how he had cried and tried to scrape them off his skin, how he had stabbed them with a knife, but they had come back stronger the next day. He had hated them, hated the fact that they were so unclaimed and lonely.
But now he loved them so much. He accepted them, even if they were a curse. Which they weren't. Something was just not right. Jimin knew it. These flowers belonged to Yoongi as much as to him. He didn't know how to prove it, but feelings didn't lie and neither did wolves.
The first time they had looked at one another, his wolf had done something it had never done before, it had howled bitterly, and then it had fallen into a deep sleep. A sleep from which it still hadn't awoken, apparently wanting to wake up after it had found its mate.
Turning his eyes to the reflection in the flowers, he covered his lips with his hand and mumbled in surprise. “Oh no!”' he said afterwards.
The flowers had grown pale and lifeless since he had last seen them. Or were they dying?
Yesterday, he hadn't had a chance to examine the flowers that had hurt him when he first met Yoongi, and then he had fainted anyway. So what had happened? Why were they so pale? With tears in his eyes, he tried not to call Yoongi.
‘Come…’ He wanted to beg him. ‘My flowers are dying, kiss them, stroke them, do something.’
How senseless it sounded. Things like that couldn't be forced. When he heard the door open, he quickly covered his jumper and before he could move away from the mirror, Yoongi came in with thick firewood in his arms. The floor was dirty again because he had walked in with his shoes on, and Jimin grumbled to himself as he put the mirror back in his bag. He had just finished cleaning the floor. Yoongi went to work without looking in his direction, as if he wasn't there, and after stacking the wood on the side of the stove he started the fire.
Jimin was terribly confused, his eyes were already distracted. He had to tend to his flowers. “Did you make this?” The Alpha asked, pointing to the pot by the fire while biting his lip impatiently.
Omega shook his head vaguely, shaking off his sadness. “Who else could have done it?”
“Nobody's been here today, have they?” He was suspicious, although if someone had come in while he was unconscious, he would smell them. He wanted to ask anyway. Because Jungkook was curious and his fiancée even more so. It would be bad if they saw the Omega he was hiding.
“No... Nobody came.”
Yoongi shook the pot and put it on the surface above the fire.”You don't have to cook.”
“But I get hungry.” Jimin mumbled confusedly.
“So... Extra. For me. I don't want that. You shouldn't get out of bed anyway.” The colder his voice was, the more soul-stirring his words were. “I'll get better and be on my feet as soon as I can,” Jimin said, playing with the threads of the blanket. “I won't bother you anymore.” He gritted his teeth as a sharp pain shot through his calf.
Yoongi heard the small room fill with bitter pheromones and turned his eyes to the Omega. “What happened?”
“Oh...” Jimin scrunched his face. “Nothing.”
“I'll get some painkillers for your wound from the healer tomorrow.”
“Your pack must be pretty close to here.” Jimin said breathlessly and the Alpha just shook his head. “Distances don't matter much to wolves.”
Was that another way of saying he'd go a long way for him? Jimin laughed inwardly at his naivety. “So you often change into your wolf form?”
“When necessary.”
“In many packs I've been in, Alphas weren't very good at transforming.” He said. Trying to open up a topic of conversation, and the breathing exercise he was doing was good, relieving the pain from his wound. The bitter smell that filled the room also disappeared.
The Alpha's reaction to the foreign pheromones was limited to making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. The Omega's scent had been faint since he'd brought him into the cabin and Yoongi didn't want to think about another Omega's pheromones. It was too easy for the wolf in him to be attracted to any pheromone. He'd longed for it for so long. He cleared his throat and answered. “In our pack, transformation is a very important skill. They teach us to transform at an early age.”
“Oh, is that so?” He said with interest. Even though it was still early, he settled back on his pillow and pulled the covers up to his neck, watching the Alpha and chatting pleasantly with him, feeling at peace. In every way, even though the Alpha had his back to him. “What else do they teach? Do the Omegas go to school too?”
Yoongi shrugged. It seemed to make the Alpha at least a little happy that someone was taking interest of his pack. “Not really. For the Alphas, we teach them how to read and write as well as how to fight and transform. The young Omegas usually get together and prepare wedding gifts or attend festivals.”
“Like any pack…” They made do with what was left of the Alphas. A part of Jimin was one of those who thought that this was unfair, that Omegas should be trained in self-defence as well, but he could never say it. Because this was the order for thousands of years, it was sacred. And he had seen many times how those who thought like that were punished and expelled from the packs.
“What about the Betas?” he asked, tugging at a lock of blonde hair that was tangled between his eyelashes. His hair was filthy, he was not happy to be in front of his Alpha in this state.
Yoongi sighed in boredom and stirred the fire with the tongs, feeding it fresh wood. “They work in the houses or on the fields, and if they're lucky they're part of the pack's security, but from childhood on they only do work. Like your packs.” he said questioningly. “But families with influence also have beta sons, they are the exception.”
“One pack I was in used Betas only as slaves. It was horrible. I think it was one of the Northern packs.”
“The pack order is unfair and full of nonsense.” Jimin looked at the Alpha in surprise, did he really want to criticise the order with him? Jimin was glad that he thought so.
Betas were neither as strong and powerful as Alphas nor as fertile as Omegas. In fact, they had been the outsiders for many years, always doing the heavy work in the packs and rarely taking part in the leadership. This was because they had betrayed the other wolves in the Great War and revealed their side. They were unpopular, but their numbers made them hard to give up.
“Maybe I should have been a Beta." he said sincerely. They were partners in destiny. The only difference was that they were not kicked out of the pack.
Yoongi was silent, expecting him to at least ask why. Jimin didn't speak either, instead looking at the Alpha when he had the chance. His features were etched in his mind. From here he could see the whiteness of his fiery skin, those veined hands, those beautifully shapely fingers, his pale colour. He was like the vampires in the old stories. He never took his black knitted hat off. He could only guess at the colour of his hair. The hat covered everything. He had even spent the night in that hat. Jimin watched him for a while, searching his face for something familiar. His profile was beautiful, with a pretty little nose and red, well-formed lips, the firelight rippling across his face, giving his skin an angelic quality. Until he turned to him and spoke firmly. The spell broke.
“Go to sleep.” He chastised him.
“Aren't you going to sleep? You look tired.” He'd do his best to make him feel better if he could. What an Omega should do to his mate. But he never knew. No one ever taught him. All he knew was how to please the spoiled Omega ladies and their spoiled little daughters who ordered him around.
“I have to leave early in the morning.”
“Why? Nothing bad?”
Yoongi's eyes flashed with hesitation for a moment. He didn't know what to tell him. The marriage issue had become something that made his stomach ache and he wanted to get rid of it. Forever.
“No.” He said. And that was the end of the conversation.
Jimin felt overwhelmed with sadness as the Alpha blew out the candles and left. His flowers tingled and he could hardly sleep in the dark.
When he awoke the next day, the Alpha was indeed nowhere to be seen. This time there was no note, but there was a small pot by the fire. He had prepared a meal for him and the one Jimin had made yesterday was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he liked it and ate it. He wanted to see this moment. Jimin got up with difficulty and sat down at the table, filling his rumbling stomach. Usually, he ate very little because the packs were in short supply and the important members of the pack didn't have much to give to the servant Omegas. But here, there was more delicious tinned fish, fresh fruit and rice porridge than he could have ever dreamed of. Though he wanted to eat until his stomach ached and signalled him to stop, he hesitated and simply poured a spoonful of each into the ceramic bowl and ate with relish.
After he'd eaten and done his daily chores, he had a long time to think. He sat on the couch and looked at the clothes the Alpha had brought him for the fifth time. Yoongi must have gone to his pack, where he always went. He had left him here all alone. He couldn't help but wonder. Would he always be the Omega, living on the run in a hunting cabin away from the pack, or would he really embrace him?
If not, what would his life be like?
Jimin hoped to find answers to these questions soon.
He was bored, he was not used to sitting idle at all, but obeying what the alpha said was the most important thing for him now. He had to sit still, rest and heal. And what if he wanted to send him away when he got better? His heart made a rhythm full of fear, then he would never get better. After a while he managed to calm himself and his bad thoughts. Tired of the silence, he made up a song, blending songs in different languages he had learnt in the herds, and entertained himself. Until he heard some strange noises outside. Before he realised what was happening, he saw a silhouette peering in through the window and then an uninvited guest entered without even knocking. He jumped in fright.
This was Yoongi's marked territory. It was alpha-only, the only place where no one could enter. He knew the Alphas, this move could even spark a war between them.
Jimin looked around for something he could use as a weapon, the knife on the wall was too far for him to reach. “Who are you?” the omega asked cautiously as the stranger stood before him, his eyes, air, posture and pleasant pheromones screaming that he was an omega. Jimin swallowed. What was a lone omega doing here? ‘Or was he-‘
“My God!” whined the stranger loudly. “It's really true.”
Jimin remained cautious, but his brow furrowed. “What are you talking about, I don't know you.”
But the foreign omega seemed not to hear him. Jimin stared at him as he shook his head from side to side and stomped his foot dramatically. He was wearing the fur of a precious animal, sable or something. He was a rare beauty. In packs, only those with strong alphas had such furs. His Alpha must have hunted for him. He swallowed as he shivered inside, he had to keep his composure, it was obvious that the omega in front of him was not an outcast like him. He could make out his long eyelashes beneath the dark brown, assertive hood that covered his forehead.
When the omega took a step towards him, Jimin mumbled, trying to control himself. “You can't wear shoes in the house.”
“I'll wear my shoes wherever I want.” he stepped a little closer to Jimin. His gaze was menacing. “Secondly, this is not your house, stupid omega.”
He didn't expect that. All right... Jimin couldn't say he wasn't used to being humiliated by omegas, but he wasn't just any omega anymore. He had a home, and soon he would have an alpha. He wasn't going to obey him. “You can't call me stupid.” he said calmly. “We don't even know each other.”
“I already said it. Let me say it again. Stupid!” The stranger smoothed his omega wavy dark hair and looked at Jimin. “Oh, my God. I'm going out of my mind. What did he find in someone like you?” He touched Jimin's hair, which was dirty because he hadn't washed it for days. “How long since you cut your hair? It's so dirty.” Then he shouted outwards, Jimin couldn't follow what was happening. “Your Hyung has good taste, Kook! Come here and see what's going on. I told you I'd be right.”
Soon another man, a well-built young alpha, walked in. The omega flinched as his big, bright, dark blue eyes locked on Jimin. He now saw every alpha other than Yoongi as a threat. Were they going to hurt him? Who were they?
“Holy shit, my flower... You were right.” He muttered in shock. As he said this, the Omega closed the Alpha's wide open mouth as if to scold him. At first, Jimin thought they were brothers. But they didn't look alike. When he smelled them, he noticed that they were marked. Ah... so they were mates? “ Who are you?” He asked shakily. His former composure was gone, he wanted to cry, he had no strength to resist if they hurt him. “I haven't done anything.”
“What are you doing here?” the Alpha asked. “What are you really doing here? Enlighten us.”
“You have to ask your dear Hyung.” the foreign Omega said.
“Taehyung, stop now. Let's find out.”
“My Alpha will kill you.” Jimin spoke boldly as the Alpha took a step inside and collapsed into a chair. “If you hurt me…” How pathetic. But it was the only way to get rid of the culprits. No one would touch an Omega with an Alpha.
He blushed in embarrassment as this made them both laugh. “Your Alpha? Your Alpha”' the one called Taehyung said. “I swear I'll ruin you...” As he lunged towards Jimin, the Alpha grabbed him around the waist. Jimin didn't stay still this time. “If you touch me-“
“Let's see what you've got!”
“You'll see”' He said, shaking. No one could touch him in the house of his soulmate.
“Stop, Omegas, I said stop!” The Alpha calmed his Omega and stroked his cheeks. “Calm down darling, something's going to happen to you.”
“Jungkook! If you don't solve this problem right now, I'm going to kill Yoongi-sshi. How could he do this to us”
When Jimin couldn't take it anymore and asked, “What did Yoongi do?” they both snapped at him and told him to shut up. Should he die of curiosity? He watched them sitting in his corner. They looked like a couple in love. But the Omega was too angry and vicious, he didn't like him at all.
Taehyung didn't listen to the Alpha and stood in front of Jimin and looked at him. “Listen you little devil, whatever happened between you and Yoongi, forget it and get out of here.” When he tried to smell him, Jimin raised his hands as if to protect himself. “Don't come near me.”
“Their scents haven't merged yet, so nothing has happened between them. That's good...”
“Stay away from me!”
Jungkook asked, “So what are you doing here if he didn't spend his heat with you?” Jimin turned red with embarrassment and anger. “I'm not a prostitute!”
“Then what are you?” Omega looked really confused. “Tell me how you know Yoongi.”
“I-I…” he mumbled. He had the feeling that he shouldn't tell anyone about Yoongi. “Yoongi is getting married.” Taehyung growled. “That is so inappropriate.”
And for Jimin, life froze for a few seconds. He blinked his eyes as he stiffened. Did he say marriage? To someone else. Someone who wasn't him. A few failed attempts, no sound. “What did you say?”
“To an Omega from a good family, not a nobody like you. Do you understand now? He didn't tell you, did he?” He laughed and looked at the Alpha. “Have you seen your Hyung? He let you sleep standing up. ‘No, I don't understand Omegas, no, I'll never marry one, I want to stay away from them!’ Let him tell that to the marines!.” He pointed at Jimin. “Here, look, if that Hyung you defend so much had stayed here a little longer, he would have had a child with that Omega.”
“Enough!” Jimin shouted with tears in his eyes and they both fell silent. His emotions overflowed and he froze at what he heard. “Enough!”
It couldn't be true. His pride couldn't be hurt like that. Maybe Yoongi didn't know him, maybe his soul was sick, maybe his relationship with his wolf was terrible. He could make a lot of excuses now. But after what he heard, it all lost its meaning. Yoongi had betrayed their bond. At least he thought he wouldn't, or rather couldn't. He had naively assumed that he was an orphaned wolf like himself. He was naive. He was the most stupid, naive and foolish person in the world.
He looked at the Omega and the Alpha while he wiped the tear that was about to fall from his eye with the back of his hand. “This Omega obviously has feelings for him…” Jungkook said and Taehyung agreed. “But Yoongi lets him down.”
“Please…” he said, swallowing hard. “Go away from here. Leave me alone.”
“Will you leave too?” Taehyung tested his patience. When Jungkook noticed that Jimin was in a bad mood, he took out his Omega. A minute later he came back alone. “Look, Omega. I don't know you and I'm sorry, but I don't want to know you. But I'm sorry for Taehyung's behaviour, okay?” Jimin looked at him as he tried to touch his knee in a friendly way, but his hand stayed in the air. “Just so you know, we have no personal problems with you. Taehyung is angry because he doesn't want our wedding to be postponed again, we've been waiting for Yoongi's mood for years...”
Jimin wanted to cover his ears, but he didn't move. Instead, he was proud enough to say in a low whisper: “There's nothing between us.” He should have just walked away. “I was... injured. He rescued me from the strays and brought me here. That's all. He's not my Alpha. I was just trying to protect myself.”
That's all.
That's all he meant to Yoongi.
For Jimin Yoongi meant everything…
And what would have happened? What's the most that could have happened? If he'd left him behind, if he'd let him get married... Would he have died of pain? If he hadn't died all this time, he wouldn't have died anymore. Maybe he could have got over it. Maybe with these flowers he could find an Alpha who would accept him. Jungkook left the cabin quietly. A tear fell from his eye as the Alpha left. No, he shouldn't try to console himself. Everything would be so difficult without him. Impossible, maybe.
But it wouldn't be like that for Yoongi, if he could marry impulsively... That meant he wasn't weak like Jimin. He also didn't have any flowers. Maybe the soulmate bond was dead. Maybe Jimin was the only one who got hurt.
While he thought about these things and tried to formulate his plans in his head, the sun went down and left his place to the merciless cold. Would Yoongi's next step be to politely send him away or would he continue his relationship with him in the time he had left his mate and make him his second Omega? He felt goosebumps, he wanted to hate his mate, but at the same time he couldn't blame his mate. But he was offended, his pride was hurt and his soul was sick. There was a part of him that wanted to break him as he was broken. He was filled with feelings he had never felt for anyone before.
His wolf was in mourning.
*****
On the other hand, Yoongi, unaware of what was going on, went to the remote hill where the hunting cabin was located. He took with him the pain-relieving herbs he had bought from the healer for the injured Omega and the sweet buns offered by the Omegas he met. Lately he had neglected his life in the pack, and his family had criticised him for it. As he quietly slipped into the house to change, his father had spotted him and pulled him aside to talk.
He was tired of being caught every time he came into the neighbourhood, he was a big Alpha now, he was tired of them running after him like a child. So he made no secret of his dissatisfaction and glared at his father. “Are you going to start acting like my mum? Enough is enough, leave me alone!”
The number of times he had defied his father could be counted on one hand. Alpha Dohyun was a very strict man, who had an important seat on the board and was respected and loved by everyone in the pack. He didn't want his son to be an irresponsible Alpha on the loose. Of course, he was not thinking of his son, but of the good name of the family.
Hearing his son's backhanded reply, he didn't think twice before striking him hard across the face, right across the left cheek. The young Alpha was stunned by the ear and cheek slap, but after a few seconds he dared raise his burning black eyes to meet his father's dark ones. His ears were ringing. “I'm not a child anymore, Dad.” he said through clenched teeth. “You both had better realise that. I'm the eldest son in this family and the line will continue through me.”
It was a subtle threat.
“You… You…' His father replied. “You are just a silly child who has had a toy taken away from him. All you've done since the day you were born is look for attention.”
He continued to look at him fearlessly. The sparse hair on his father's head, the thick eyebrows and the war scars on his face... He studied them all for a long time. “I will not marry that Omega. I will not do it, no matter what. Whether you like it or not. Tell her family, cancel the meeting, or suffer the shame of the whole pack.”
“This family has honour and I won't let you dishonour it!” Yoongi was unimpressed when the Alpha father pushed his son, this time hard and strong, in the chest, causing him to hit the wall hard. Violence was his only means of communication. Only for Yoongi. Should he feel privileged?
“We have been waiting for you for years!" He said, bringing his face close to his. As his heavy pheromones penetrated the young Alpha, he felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. There he was again, trying to influence those weaker than him with his pheromones and force them to obey. “We've given you more sympathy than you deserve, Yoongi. Don't push your luck. Like every Alpha, you will marry, settle down and carry on our bloodline. That is your first and foremost duty. How many times do I have to tell you, get your duties into your limited mind! Just because you lost the Omega you were going to marry because of your stupidity, the world will not let you go.”
Yoongi was vulnerable to his sharp arrows of words, letting them pierce his chest. It was pathetic, yes. As much as he hated to hear it, he was right, he was telling the truth. No one would ever look him in the eye again, he had mourned too long. Yoongi wanted to run. Run until his legs couldn't carry him anymore or jump off a cliff. He'd always avoided these things, but his father had caught him at his weakest moment. Either leave this pack and join the wildlings, or do as he said. He had no other choice.
They wanted him to get married?
So be it.
He was going to get married, and if marriage would solve everything, he would find a way to shut them up. But not with the omega they wanted. Up to that point, everything had been the way they wanted it and Yoongi had given in. When he didn't want to get married, both his family and the pack gave him a reasonable amount of time, just to make them feel better. Not that they cared about him. After all, the blood of the Omega who had died in their arms five years ago was on their hands too.
His jaw tightened as he gritted his teeth. Without another word to his father, he sprinted out of the house, dodging anyone who tried to stop him, and headed for the cabin. A few miles from home, he saw strange footprints on the road, then Taehyung and Jungkook. It was unlikely that he would meet them here. This was the only secluded path leading to his cabin.
When the three of them faced each other, they paused. Yoongi was the first to speak. “What are you doing here?" He was bored enough, he couldn't care less about their problems.
But Taehyung didn't care. He was as vicious and angry as ever. He took a step forward and frowned at the Alpha. “You should know better!”
“I don't know.” He said flatly.
“We paid a little visit to your hunting cabin.” Taehyung explained and Jungkook interjected behind him before Yoongi could speak, “That's right.” he confirmed to his future mate. “You forced us to do it, so don't be angry.”
Yoongi sighed in frustration at what he heard, he didn't have to explain anything to them and that was what made him so angry, they didn't know his boundaries. He grumbled, fiddling with the black hat on his head. “Do I have to lecture you about my boundaries again? How dare you enter my cabin without my knowledge, without my permission?”
“Taehyung heard something. We went to see if it was true.”
Turning to Jungkook, Yoongi growled, “And you didn't disobey him. How could you not stop him? Was I ever in your marked private territory, Jungkook?”
“That's not the point, you're good at twisting things Yoongi-sshi !” Taehyung shouted. “Don't play with Jungkook's conscience and change the subject. It's not about what we did, it's about you getting involved with an unknown Omega on the eve of your wedding! There, I said it!”
Jungkook tried to laugh awkwardly as he covered his omega's mouth and pulled him towards himself, “We don't know exactly what they do yet, Taehyung.”
Yoongi clenched his hands into fists, resting on either side. He was at the limit of his patience. “You two broke into my house and disturbed that Omega? Two against one Omega?”
He had promised Jimin that no one would disturb him in the cabin.
When neither of them made a sound, the Alpha growled. “Did you hurt him?”
“Of course not Hyung, we're not savages, we just talked to him.” Jungkook hurriedly interjected, but Yoongi didn't calm down. He would be very, very angry if another Omega got hurt because of him. How could he call himself an Alpha if he couldn't even protect a poor Omega?
“Don't change the subject. When were you going to tell us that you had a secret life with an Omega? Let's see how you bring him into the pack. Bring him in as what? Or have you always wanted to meet in secret like this?”
“You're going too far, Taehyung.” Yoongi said to the Omega, his voice so sharp that the Omega had to shut up. “Take your Omega and get out of here.” He said to the Alpha. He tried not to explode.
“You owe us an explanation.” the Omega said again. He was always like that. He'd known him since he was a little boy. Whatever he wanted, he wanted it immediately, and he got it. Except his marriage with his childhood sweetheart Jungkook. And for that he blamed Jungkook's older brother Yoongi.
It was not that he did not understand him, traditions and customs were the most important elements that kept a pack alive, but Yoongi did not want to marry just to make them happy. How could he drag the Omega he was about to marry into a life of unhappiness? He was an Alpha, wounded from head to toe and unworthy of love.
“I don't owe you anything.”
“We thought you were in mourning because you lost the Omega you were meant to be your mate with years ago, but you've already found yourself another Omega!” He gave a fake laugh. “And an ugly, neglected, lonely Omega! Have you thought about what we're going to tell Yuna? Your mother was going to call them in two days to set the wedding date.”
“That's enough! Shut up!” He shouted so loudly that even the birds in the branches flew over him. “Get out of here, both of you! Out of my sight!” He waved his hand. “Tell my mother not to keep Omega's family in suspense any longer. This marriage will not happen, she knew it from the beginning.”
“Dad will kill you this time.” Jungkook said almost desperately. When Yoongi didn't answer, he grabbed his wrist. “Hyung, you're making a mistake, you're making life miserable for all of us. You will regret it. Please sort yourself out right now!”
“This conversation is over. If I hear from anyone what you saw today, I will ruin you both. Now get out of my way!”
Yoongi quickened his steps even more as the couple he left behind watched him go in confusion. If it wasn't for what he had in his hands, he would have turned into a wolf and run to the cabin. Ten minutes later, when he arrived home more quickly than usual, the cabin was empty. The fire had obviously just gone out and there was still a slight warmth. He left whatever he had on the table and quickly threw himself out.
“Jimin?”
It was the first time he had said it so clearly. As a strange twist in his heart began, he saw shoe prints on the ground, covered by the non-stop snow, and started to follow the tracks. Jimin's faint scent also reached his nose, but disappeared immediately. He should have been closer. He had never smelled Omega's pheromones anyway, and what he heard was the kind of scent that wolves can recognise each other by. He started to run, following the tracks. As he looked ahead through the falling snowflakes, he saw the figure a few hundred metres away. It was vague, but Yoongi knew that it was Jimin. He sped up even more. He covered the distance in a minute and stopped a few metres away, out of breath. Jimin was standing at the edge of the lake with his bag over his shoulder and his old clothes. He hadn't taken the clothes he had given him. Yoongi thought he was stuck between leaving and staying, and then he felt really sad. As pain spread through his heart, he wanted to get rid of this feeling.
‘He didn't want to lose him like that.
He didn't want to lose him.’
Life had treated him badly, he didn't want that. Did he feel sorry for him? Did he see himself in him and just want to help him? He wasn't sure of the answer, but all he knew was that he couldn't let him go.
“Jimin… He said, standing right next to him. Omega also stopped limping and stared at the Alpha who had come for him. He still had torn boots on his feet because the Alpha hadn't thought to buy him a new pair. He felt a burning guilt. The Omega, who had even given him back his breath, had not even looked back at him. He must have been truly heartbroken. Taehyung's sharp tongue must have opened wounds that would be difficult to repair.
“Where are you going?" he asked. He wasn't wearing any of the clothes he had given him. He had left everything in the cabin. “You can't go.”
Jimin bowed his head and quickly wiped away the tears that had frozen on his face, not wanting him to see him cry. “Why not?” He asked in a trembling voice, he was so cold, his nose and cheeks were red.
“Because...” The Alpha said. “Because you can't go unannounced like this.”
“Fine…” Jimin shook his head disappointedly, “I'll go, Yoongi. Thank you for taking care of me and not letting me die, I'll always be grateful to you. I'll go before I cause you any more trouble.”
Yoongi didn't want his thanks. Feeling like a really lousy Alpha, he started to explain. “I heard what happened today, I didn't know that Taehyung and Jungkook would come to the cabin, if I had known I would never have let them in, I promised you but I couldn't keep it, I couldn't protect you from them, I'm really... Sorry...”
Jimin smiled bitterly, was he apologising to him? He couldn't stand it and let the words slip out of his mouth. “They're not the ones to protect me from. It was you. You should have protected me from yourself.”
He continued when Yoongi looked at him with an expression that was hard to understand.
“If you had left me there that night, even if you hadn't saved me, I wouldn't have suffered this much.” Jimin also turned his head and looked at the frozen lake. “Hearing it from someone else shook me.”
“What did you hear?”
“Are you going to continue playing the game?” But Jimin couldn't play the game anymore. All he wanted to do was cry. Something told him that he could never leave him, that he would pay the price for knowing everything. What would Jimin do if he got married? He would die of grief. It was impossible for him to share his secret anymore, he could never tell Yoongi the truth.
The secret would go to his grave, maybe soon.
“I don't play games.”
“Let's go inside.” the Alpha suggested as Jimin wrapped his arms around himself as if he were cold. “You're not completely healed yet. You're cold.”
“Don't worry about me.”
He wasn't worried. The only thing he was worried about was his guilt, maybe. Yoongi never thought about him. He was nothing to him. “I'm just a poor, lonely Omega who needs help for you, but I'm not without pride, Yoongi.”
Yoongi choked up. “No, you're not. I never thought for a moment that you were.”
“Then let me go. You know better than me that it's not right for me to stay in the house of an Alpha who's about to get married.” When he finally turned to look at him, their eyes met. “Why didn't you tell me you were getting married?” he asked pleadingly, his lip quivering.
“It never came up…”
“I thought...” ‘I thought we had a chance.’ “If I'd known you had an omega...”
“I don't have an Omega.” Yoongi whispered coldly. His forehead was furrowed, he hated the situation he was in. “There won't be one, but I'll tell you if you let me.”
What? Was he joking, laughing at him, or was he laughing inside? “You're getting married, Yoongi.”
“I messed up. Maybe I should have told you, but I didn't.”
Confused, Omega mumbled, “I don't think I understand.” and frowned.
Yoongi didn't answer, instead he turned away, standing at the edge of this lake hurt him as much as ever. He didn't even have a reason. In the summer it would be a paradise of flowers, maybe that's why he had built his house here. He swallowed and pointed at the house. “Let's go inside.”
Jimin decided to play coy for a moment. Even if he was his soulmate, he couldn't treat him like this. “It's normal that you didn't tell me because you see me as someone who will leave at any moment, why am I making such a big deal out of it anyway?” He turned his body towards him, “You go and I'll be on my way”.
His face was like a wall. He had no chance, it was useless to play coy with him. “Let me help you.” About to touch Jimin, the Omega stepped back and held up his hand, “I can walk by myself.”
Right now, at this very moment, he was very vulnerable to him. If he touched him, he would cry for hours. So it was best for both of them not to make contact.
Jimin began to walk, clinging to the tree trunks as the Alpha followed him, the cabin was a few hundred metres away and the snow was falling fast. When he tired after a few steps, Yoongi stepped in front of him. “At least give me your bag.”
When Jimin didn't have the strength to resist, the Alpha took the bag from his shoulder and tucked it under his arm, "The snow is coming down harder, are you sure you don't want any help?”
“Hm? Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.” He couldn't ask him when every contact left indelible marks on his skin. He had an Alpha who would leave him. A soulmate who would never love him. He bit his tongue to keep from crying as his eyes burned and he took bigger steps.
“Then I'll go and light the fire." he quickly walked away from him when the Omega nodded. He left him alone with his tears and the reality of his marriage. If Jimin could run, he would run from here. He didn't want to be found, he was never searched for anyway.
Yoongi ran home and threw the wood on the fire and had some time to think while he warmed it up until the chilled Omega arrived. Omega was completely devastated. But why should the news that he was getting married affect him so much? After all, he had not promised to marry him, nor had he given him any hope. Would Omegas always misunderstand like that? How could he express his thoughts in such a situation? That he was not going to marry that Omega, he had a completely different plan.
When Jimin reached the steps in front of the house five minutes later, he coughed uncomfortably like an intruder. When Yoongi came to the door, he didn't let the Omega bend down to take off his shoe because he might get hurt. The Omega, who had lost his balance, put his hand on the Alpha's back to avoid falling when the Alpha bent down and started to unlace his shoe. It felt forbidden to touch him, but no prohibition could be so tempting.
He bit his lip on the verge of crying again. How could he live with the pain? If only there was a way to forget what had happened and return to the world without flowers. Then maybe he would have a warm home.
When they went inside and closed the door, Jimin did not sit down. His pride told him to leave, but his heart told him to stay. So he stayed, not knowing what to do.
Yoongi noticed his hesitation but gave him some time and he stirred the wood in the fireplace and lingered until the room was warm, then collapsed into a chair. “I want you to know that I'm sorry for what happened today.” He looked at the standing Omega. “Have a seat. There's something I want to talk to you about. Then you can leave if you want, I'll help you. But listen to me first.”
Jimin felt shattered, but he managed to sit down in the chair directly opposite Yoongi and folded his hands in his lap.
It was the last time they spoke and he didn't even know his soulmate, just a handful of conversations. It would all end without knowing his favourite food or colour.
After watching the floor tiles for a while without speaking, Yoongi was the first to speak and he was also irrelevant. He reached into the small bag he had brought with him today and handed it to Jimin.
“What's this?” he asked confused.
“I bought it today.” Jimin opened the crumpled package and found apple and cinnamon rolls that smelled delicious. “T-that smells good.”
“Yes, the Omegas in our pack get together on Saturdays to prepare delicious food. They gave them to me when I found them. They were actually hot when I got them, but...” he didn't continue because Jimin had forgotten everything and started stuffing the buns into his mouth as if he had never eaten anything like them before. The buns were so good that the Alpha's voice disappeared in his ears. After a few minutes of eating the buns, he looked up.
Yoongi was glad that he had bought some time as he watched the Omega eating the buns with a blank face, his nose and lips smeared with flour. He looked but did not see, he just wanted to get rid of the word in his mouth as soon as possible. When Jimin saw the Alpha looking at him, he blushed like an embarrassed child and put down the roll in his hand. “Sorry, it was so delicious that I dozed off.” He handed him the rest. “Why don't you eat it too?”
“I did.”
Jimin asked after he had wrapped the rest in the package. “That Omega... the one from today...”
“Taehyung…” Yoongi said. “He's my brother's fiancée.”
“Yes, he is. I see.” He sighed. “He treated me like I was guilty. Like I'd done something bad. I guess it's too bad for them that I'm here. I don't want to upset anyone with my presence.”
“It's not you they're worried about, it's me. You know the traditions of the packs. In a family, the oldest Alpha marries first, followed by the others.” Yoongi's face was shadowed by the light of the fire as he fixed his dark eyes on the burning fire. Where could he even start? He hadn't wanted to tell anyone for a long time, ever. “They have loved each other since they were children. They got engaged a year ago. I am the only obstacle to them getting married and settling down. Naturally, they are forcing me to get married.”
“Ah...” he could only say softly. The intense flames of emotion that were about to explode overrode all rational words and thoughts. “So you don't want to get married.”
Yoongi nodded absent-mindedly. He desperately wanted to change the subject and get rid of this burden, but he continued. “No. It's not even the last thing I want. But my mother has even chosen a potential mate. She met the Omega and talked to her. When I found out, I wanted to meet the Omega to clear up the misunderstanding, but they kept stopping me. We never even sat down and talked. And now they expect me to settle down with her. In a few days the two families will meet to plan the wedding. They haven't even consulted me.” As he clenched his fist on the table, his blue veins stood out. “But I'd rather die than go that way.”
Jimin interjected anxiously, raising his hand in his lap as if to say no. “No, don't say that. God might take it the wrong way.”
Yoongi ignored the warning. He had to move on and finish this conversation as soon as possible. He was suffering. “I've held them off for years, but I can't hold them off any longer.”
“It must be hard for you.”
He chastised the butterflies in his stomach. The light of hope for Jimin came back on. There was no telling where the conversation would end. He continued to listen intently. The Alpha never looked at him, never took his eyes off the fire. No matter how hot it was inside, his knitted hat was on his head.
“I have certain responsibilities towards the Omega I'm going to marry, but I don't want to fulfil them.” He drummed on the table with his fingers.
“Yes, I understand. Marriage... it's a bit complicated.”
“And I want to end it.”
“What can you do?” he asked, his pulse quickening.
“I've thought a lot. I can't find a way out except to leave the pack.”
Jimin put his hand over his mouth. “No, that's wrong! Being a wolf without a pack sucks, Yoongi.” He said. “You should never live outside the pack. You'll regret it, but you can't go back.”
What was he doing? He was trying to convince his soulmate to marry someone else.
“Then I met you, after what happened today, I had this idea, so I decided to talk to you.”
“What?” he said, stunned. There was a vague movement in the mischievous flowers.
Or... did he understand?
Was Yoongi giving up on marriage because he realised he was his soulmate?
He held his breath.
Yoongi looked at him carefully. He had to say it. Otherwise he couldn't tell him never. This was his last chance. He closed his eyes as his lips moved. “Marry me, Jimin...”
Chapter Text
5- Our maladies were such we could not cure them. And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign.*
When Jimin's big eyes are closed by the Alpha walking behind him, they take a few steps forward together. Jimin giggles in surprise. “Yoonie! What are you doing?”
He really likes to call his Alpha like that. His Alpha allows it. When Jimin opens his eyes, he finds him standing right in front of him. He looks into his eyes as if he is about to say something, an excited, passionate and meaningful look. Soon he starts to speak, at that moment both their hearts beat as one. “I was fascinated the first time I saw you... I knew from the beginning that you were my soulmate, Jimin-ah... my darling. I want to be with you until the last moment of my life, to grow old with you and die with you. There's nothing I want more than that.”
Yoonie is kneeling in front of him at this moment, there is no one else around. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Spring is at the door. The scent of lime and honeysuckle fills their noses in harmony, while a light breeze ruffles Jimin's silk shirt.
As his soulmate kneels before him and proposes, he can only think of one thing.
Their destinies are one now, not even God himself can separate them, their hands will never be separated forever, nor their hearts, nor the beating of their hearts, the magical red thread has already passed through their little fingers and wrapped around them.
“Yoonie…” He kneels like his Alpha, and with tears in his eyes, he puts his hand on his Alpha's smooth cheek and says, “Yoonie…” while his insides chirp with joy.
His Alpha is the most handsome Alpha he's ever seen, he couldn't have found a better one. The brown tunic he's wearing is unbuttoned a few buttons, soothing, pleasant pheromones emanate from his white skin towards his Omega, and as he smiles, his eyes narrow, his Alpha takes the gold engraved ring he's been working on for months, made with his own hands, out of its wooden box and presents it to his beloved. “Marry me.” He says, laughing so hard he can't stop. “Make me the happiest Alpha in the universe, let's never part until death, my little one.”
As he nods, he runs his hand through the soft dark hair at the nape of the Alpha's neck, caressing his cheek again. Yoonie can't help but close his beautiful eyes at the touch, resting his cheek against the Omega's small, warm palm.
“Yes, my darling.” Jimin says, his voice shaking. “My soulmate...Yes, of course I'll marry you.” Yoonie smiles broadly and hugs his omega, so happy that he doesn't even know what he's doing, they both collapse onto the lush green grass, the alpha standing on omega's tiny body and looking down at him. “I love you.” he says in a whisper. And they kiss long and deep for minutes by the lake that belongs to them alone.
That's how Jimin had imagined the moment of receiving the proposal a million times in his mind. With completely different scenarios, completely different rings and a big smile on his face. Only one thing remained the same. In every scenario, he was undeniably loved by his Alpha. In reality, there was no reason why this should not be so. He thought he was worthy of being loved and he believed it, he depended on it.
The offer he actually received was a disappointment. It wasn't even close to his dreams. Yoongi had surprised him at such a moment that he would not have thought that he would get such an offer if he had been dreaming about it for a thousand years.
He was literally stunned in front of him. Not a single word had fallen from his cracked lips for minutes. As the minutes passed, Yoongi began to panic. Omega didn't look well. He seemed not to believe what he was hearing. He had obviously made a big mistake in assuming that he wanted this.
But he couldn't go back on his mistake. What was he going to say? 'I proposed by mistake, forget it' No, no, no. He had done the only smart thing he could do and if Jimin didn't accept - and it didn't look like he would - he would have no choice but to marry the potential partner his mother had found. One of the few who would accept him for who he was. But he couldn't, he couldn't…
He hated this forced life that was forced upon him.
Five minutes after his proposal, Yoongi poured some water into a glass and drank it to clear his throat. The presence of an Omega watching his every move made him uncomfortable, especially when he stared at him. He was about to head out into the courtyard when he stopped himself and asked with the tip of his tongue, even though he didn't want to have this conversation. “ Aren't you going to say anything?”
Jimin blinked and fiddled with his hands on the table. The Alpha had actually noticed his hands when he had found the Omega in the forest that night. They were small and cute. His fingers were chubby, but calloused all over. Who knew what hard work he had done. With all that in mind, he also wanted to make him feel comfortable. He wasn't sure. Was this an excuse for his lie, or did he really think that this offer was advantageous for him?
“I... well, I'm a bit surprised.” Jimin's ears were still ringing, maybe he would have fallen down if he hadn't sat down. “You know, it's not what I expected.”
He hadn't heard right, had he? In fact, he wasn't even awake now. His eyes weren't fixed on the Alpha's dark eyes and almost embarrassed expression, he could be unconscious or even dead right now, but this couldn't be real. It was a trick of his mind. That's how much his poor brain felt sorry for Jimin, enough to create a fantasy world for him.
He blinked, trying to focus his attention on the Alpha. He was close enough to touch him if he reached out, pressing his lips together as his fingers fought for contact. “You're right.” Yoongi said, tilting his head and thinking for a moment. “It's too sudden, isn't it?”
“A bit.” A growling laugh escaped from the back of Jimin's throat as he tried to lighten the weight of the moment. The Alpha was not supporting him again. So he stopped laughing, feeling naive. I guess he had a soulmate who would never smile as big as he imagined. Whatever he wanted, it was the opposite. “I don't even know what to say." He said after folding his hands in his lap.
The only question he really wanted to ask was this. 'What convinced you to marry me?’
“Me too.”
They locked eyes for a moment. Jimin watched as the Alpha turned his brown, cold eyes away. “You just said you didn't want to get married.”
“Yes.” Yoongi tried to explain. He had to explain it in a way that wasn't offensive, the subject was quite sensitive and the omega was quite fragile. He cleared his throat and came back to the point. “But it won't be a real marriage.”
“Hm?” Jimin's eyes widened and his shapely forehead furrowed. “'What do you mean? What kind of marriage will it be?”
“Well... If I had offered a deal to the potential mate my parents had suggested, the chances of it being made known to the pack were very high. There was nothing I could do about it, I knew that if I married her, it would lead us both to unhappiness.” He paused carefully. “ I couldn't…. I told you, I told you I couldn't see a way out, and that's what I've come to after what happened today. If you're asking me if I've thought it through, no. I haven't. Things got out of hand. Maybe what's coming out of my mouth will make you hate me. And you might. You see... I'm struggling. I'm fighting for someone to save me, and I'm dragging you into my darkness.” His lips parted and closed, then he locked eyes with the Omega he had never spoken to for so long. “I'm a terrible person, aren't I?”
It was the first time Jimin had ever seen him so honest. He had only known him for three days, but for some reason he felt he had recognised most of him today. He had always thought that the moment soulmates saw each other, everything fell into place. Real life was nothing like that, even the pheromones did not work, let alone fall into place. As his jaw clenched from gritting his teeth, he pushed back the hot tears that were about to flow by looking up. “I don't think so…”
No, he was so horrible that he was torn between wanting to kill him and wanting to hold him and hug him. Okay, arranged marriage, huh? This wasn't what he wanted to hear. Things certainly hadn't gone the way he'd imagined, but at least the Alpha was thinking about marrying him. That was something. To him. Not someone else. It had to be fate, there was wisdom in it, if fate would bring their paths together like this. It might be.
“So now…” He asked in a hesitant voice. “Are you asking for my help?”
“You could say that. But I can't be the only one who favours it. If I thought that, I'd know it was absurd to offer it. I've been walking a fine line all this time, and now there's no escape. When I met you, something clicked in my head. I thought, what do I have to lose? It wasn't an easy decision, believe me. But I did it, considering your situation... I thought maybe you would accept. It seemed like a good offer for an outcast Omega with no one, it seems easy to talk from where I stand. Believe me, I'm in the most difficult situation of my life too, so I thought we could help each other.”
“You're right about my situation... I really want a permanent pack now.”
“And the way to do that is to get married.”
“Yes.” The Omega agreed. Though he would not admit it, the world was much more dangerous and difficult for lone Omegas to live in.
" I've considered all that." the Alpha went on to say. This conversation seemed to torture him. His eyes were purple, like someone who hadn't slept in days, and he looked exhausted. “As much as you need a pack, I need an arranged marriage, a mate who knows the truth.”
“The truth...”
“It was impossible for me to tell Yuna that she and I would never have a real marriage. I'm from the same pack as her and she's very close to my family, I can't jeopardise that. I couldn't tell anyone else, and no one was lining up to marry me anyway.” He shook his head uneasily. “My mother must have had a hard time convincing Yuna, too.”
“I think you're the kind of Alpha every Omega dreams of.” He snapped. But what could he do, he couldn't stand by and watch his soulmate being unfairly treated in front of him. Even if there were other mate candidates.
Yoongi seemed surprised by this, almost stunned. “I'm not…” He said in a deep and insulted voice. He said it in such a tone that Jimin couldn't ask why. It was like a forbidden zone.
The silence held them both captive for a while. “Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up.” Yoongi muttered unhappily. A million things were going through Jimin's head. He seemed to regret it. “You're not even cured yet. Maybe you have other plans for your life. I was completely selfish.”
“With your marriage to the other Omega coming up, you must be at a loss.” Jimin guessed. He couldn't say ‘Leave me and go to her.’ Whatever had happened had happened... Now he had to tighten his grip. “Don't feel bad. And look at me, do I look like I have a plan for my future? All my life I've done nothing but drift from place to place. I've been pushed, excluded, exiled, marginalised, and now for the first time in my life I feel like someone sees me. Really s ees me.”
This was not a lie, no, not at all. Even though he had not found the love he was looking for, here, in this little cabin, he was seen, maybe even cared for a little. For the first time, someone had done him a favour without expecting anything in return. It was the first time after his parents. Because he was his soulmate. Even if Yoongi didn't know it, the wolf inside him must have known that they were having this conversation now. That's why all Yoongi's ways led to Jimin.
Yoongi looked at him confused. “So... Now you mean...”
Nodding his head, Omega said “Yes…” And stared at his fingers. “I accept your proposal of marriage, Yoongi. “
Yoongi didn't expect it to happen so quickly. He was haunted by the silence that overcame him as soon as it came out of his mouth and he regretted it. But now, the positive answer had come. He moistened his lips and shook his head. “What? Really?”
“Really.” Jimin said. He could put his feelings aside for now. Besides, marrying him would mean that they would be together for the rest of their lives and something could change in that time. He could make Yoongi fall in love with him or, if he was brave enough, show him his flowers. The future was a bit dark and a bit hopeful. He could overcome it. The only thing he couldn't do was to leave him.
“I'll give you time to think.” Yoongi said hurriedly. “Tell me your decision when you're sure.”
“I'm already sure.”
“But...” Yoongi paused, Omega seemed more sure than ever, as if he had been waiting for this offer all along. He got over the first shock quickly. Maybe he was a different person than he thought. Was he mature instead of shy and sensitive?
“But what if you regretted it?”
“Would you make me regret it?”
The Alpha shook his head.” Let's make a deal, I'll do my best not to make you uncomfortable, I'll protect you as much as I can. Especially from my family. You'll have an important position in the pack... a warm home...”
“What more could I want?”
“There is one thing... A puppy in the future. Yoongi rolled his eyes uncomfortably. The puppy issue was important, he would be lying if he didn't put his finger on it. “Apart from that, my presence and absence are one, I won't do anything you don't want.”
“The puppy…” Jimin said in a low voice. What a distant dream that was, and yet it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside, but it also made him feel uncomfortable. He had never thought about it. He didn't even believe he could find his soulmate. “I thought you didn't want that.”
“I don't.” The Alpha said. “But it's true. At some point in our marriage, everyone will be expecting pups. Especially Mum. She's been expecting grandchildren for years... You know, mothers.'” Yoongi stopped when he realised he had made a mistake. “Well, sorry...”
“I know, mothers are all more or less the same. Isn't the purpose of marriage to have some... pupps?” His cheeks flushed. He had stopped crying over his fate and was lost in the moment. If they'd sorted everything out between them by then and were true soulmates, he wouldn't mind. The Alpha saved him as he pressed his lips together in agony. “Just so you know, you don't have to talk about it. I feel just as overwhelmed as you do.”
He could speak very softly and it suited him. The Omega hadn't missed that. “If the pack expects it from us... we can bring it up again after a while. It is too early to talk about it now. But I will do my best not to disappoint you. Besides, I love pupps very much. They love me too.”
“I'm sure they do.”
“Was that a compliment?” He asked shyly. The Alpha's answer was a shy shrug. “You're very young.” He said shortly afterwards. “How old are you?”
“I'm twenty.” He said, not grown up but mature, life had made him grow up a lot. “And you?”
“Twenty-four will be over soon.”
That meant Yoongi had spent four years in this world without a soulmate. Maybe that's why he was alienated from his Omega, because Jimin had left him alone in the big world for four years. He was offended.
“You are really young.” The Alpha told him.
“Omegas my age even have children.” Jimin tried to convince him. Convince him of what? That he would make a good mate? But that wasn't what the Alpha wanted. They just had to pretend to be married. It was ridiculous, but he wasn't going to let his pride be an issue tonight. He could see how hard Yoongi was trying. He understood what a difficult situation he was in, and he considered himself lucky to have him by his side, no matter what it was for. “It's okay.”
“Fine, if you say so…” The Alpha nodded. “As long as we do what we're supposed to, no one will question our relationship. You'll feel at ease in our pack.”
“We can't tell anyone, can we? I mean, about the deal?”
“No” He said immediately. “Sometimes we even forget it ourselves. It's a big secret. No one will know. Especially not at first. If they find out what we've done, they'll punish us.”
Jimin got scared and lowered his voice. “What will they do?”
“We could be banished…” Yoongi replied. “At best.”
“No way… I’m good at keeping secrets.”
“That's good.” Yoongi drank the water left at the bottom of the glass and spoke honestly. “I never thought the day would end like this.”
“Yeah... me neither. It's a bit strange.” He smiled. “So we'll be married in a few days?”
“I think so.” Yoongi scratched the back of his neck, he couldn't believe he was going to make an Omega he'd never met the centre of his life. “I need to get you in front of my parents so they can drop the marriage talk. And we need to do that soon.”
“Is there anything I can do?”
Yoongi sighed and thought for a few seconds before answering. “There are things we have to do together, and there will be. You'll have to excuse me.”
Jimin nodded as his lips parted. “Like being marked? I've heard of Alphas doing that to... claimed Omegas.”
“Is that all you know?”
“Just a little bit…” He said as he lowered his head in embarrassment.
Jimin was pleased when Yoongi said, “Me too. We mark Omegas when we want to claim them, it's quicker and easier than mating. But it's not permanent. Are you sure that no one has ever marked you before?”
Jimin felt tiny. “Yes, of course I'm sure.”
“That's strange.”
“Why is that?”
Yoongi averted his eyes. “I'm sure the Alphas were after you for that.”
Jimin couldn't read the expression in his eyes, but he giggled anyway. “Ah... not really. Would I be here now?” Actually, yes, there had been a few, but they had only caused Jimin endless agony. Every moment he couldn't say he had a soulmate, he died and ran away from the Alphas' touch. “What about you?”
“I... I avoided the Omegas for a long time and the last time... the last time I wanted to mark one, it didn't go well.”
What could Jimin say... he just stood there. He had an old love. Someone who wasn't him. How could that be? He couldn't understand. He couldn't even be angry at him for being unfaithful. He felt like dying, but not right now, he thought to himself. “I understand…” He said, hiding his pain.
“Anyway...” The Alpha stopped suddenly, as if the end of the sentence was a cliff. “The scenting is temporary, but couples like us who want to be mates can only show it in one way. And that is by being mated.
Jimin's breath caught in his throat, “Mated?” He asked in a weak voice. “I-I mean are we supposed to be mated?” He stuttered.
He didn't even know what he was feeling, as if many, many fires had broken out inside him. His body was filled with fireballs that exploded one after the other. Was it joy, fear or terror? Would their first contact with his Alpha be the mating? “I've heard a lot about this...”
“Let me tell you. You need to know everything so you don't regret it later.” Yoongi said wisely. “Mating also means marriage. You must have seen marriage ceremonies or weddings... A couple can only be considered a couple in the eyes of the pack if they are mated, otherwise all other unions are inappropriate and unacceptable. When an Alpha comes to the pack with an Omega he has mated, there is no going back. It has to be thought out long and hard for both parties. And although it is sometimes abused, in our case I don't think it goes without saying that I will not act without your consent. So if we're mated, my parents won't be able to keep us apart. They wouldn't even dare. It would be too far, even for them.” He sat back.
“Then we have to do it.”
“Tell me if you have any doubts.”
He shook his head from side to side. “If we don't do it, I guess I'll never be accepted. Right?”
“They won't accept you, they might even try to get rid of you. And I can't protect you. That's the truth... I told you, I'm a hard Alpha to marry.”
Jimn laughed nervously and tore his hands. He didn't speak for several minutes. Finally he shook his head. “I'll do what I have to do.”
“I can see that this frightens you. I'm as inexperienced as you are, maybe that's comforting.”
“Huh... Aren't wolves only mated once anyway?” He had seen bad things though, all sad stories that ended in death. Yoongi replied. “In our case, yes, but evil Alphas have found many ways to hurt Omegas. In particular, they willingly sealed Omegas who had soulmates... And made them their own.” They both grimaced at the same time. “That's why we're very careful about marrying an Omega who doesn't have a soulmate.”
“Does that even possible…”
Yoongi shrugged. “Our Seer will know. I can take you to him if you want.”
“I don’t have a soulmate.” He said. “Do you think I’m lying?”
Yoongi shook his head, “I told you because you asked, and there are many ways to find out.” But somehow the seeds of doubt were sprouting in him. He continue. “Are you... Are you really sure?”
“Yes, why do you ask?” he said, averting his eyes, afraid of being caught. He felt like a betrayer.
“I don't feel comfortable. I don't know. What if one day you regret it and can't tell me? What if you wanted to go... What if you wanted to go and find your soulmate but you couldn't? You'd hate me. And rightly so.”
Jimin stiffened when he heard this word. Soulmate. He'd said it so coldly that his skin felt like ice. “I won't search.” He said, shaking his head from side to side. “I will never seek my soulmate. Rest assured.”
Yoongi wanted to say something, but he remained silent, he wasn't ready for such an intimate conversation with him, with anyone. He didn't want to leave his self-isolation.
“Tomorrow I'll ask you for your final decision, and even if you change your mind... You can stay here. In the pack.” He pressed his lips together. “I'll introduce you to Hoseok. He'll take care of you.”
He'd heard it so many times, it didn't end well. “'I'll be thrown out anyway.”
“No, Hoseok is a good guy.”
“It doesn't work that way.” He shrugged. “ I won't change my mind. I can't stand being kicked out of another pack and being in the hands of wild Alphas.” His eyes filled with tears. “It seems the only way to save myself is to marry, and it can't be anyone but you...” He swallowed, trying to make it up. “Because we're making a deal, that's good... And you've never treated me badly.”
“And I won't.”
“You'll give me a warm home and a pup later.”
“Yes.” He said, staring at him.
“And can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
Jimin blushed, but what could he do, this was his first experience. “How do we work through our heats?”
Yoongi turned to him as if he hadn't expected this, stunned. “I guess...Like everyone else.”
“Some Alphas... I mean married Alphas have done bad things. With other...Other Omegas, I mean…”
“I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do, just know that for now.” He cut him off. Jimin was upset. That wasn't what he wanted to say. He wanted him to spend his hard times with him. Although he didn't know how he could make love to him with his flowers. God, could he see those days? He stopped thinking as his face turned red.
He hadn't even had his first heat yet, and god knew how hard the first one would be. He felt so cold he almost shivered. He held himself back. The conversation was over and Yoongi was on his feet. But there were still a million things to talk about. Jimin was the one who was curious about everything. He didn't care how fake their marriage would be. For him this marriage would be the most real thing in his life. He only had it and he would make the best of it. When he was settled in the pack, he would learn to read and write, make friends with the Omegas and learn about marriage and its responsibilities while running the house.
His Alpha was just like him. Clueless, inexperienced. That was good. Maybe he loved someone, but... He had never had any experience in that sense, and maybe that Omega was a mistake for Yoongi. After all, they weren't united, they were separated.
“It's getting late…” Yoongi bent down and stirred the fire after throwing the last pieces of wood into the fireplace. “I'll chop wood, you go to sleep.”
“Do you want help?”
“No…” He interrupted. He wanted to be alone, to try and shake off the weight of the night, to try and ignore his betrayal of his love. Without even glancing at the innocent Omega watching him, he grabbed his jacket and quickly left the house.
He was in an endless labyrinth whose walls were made of pain. And now he imprisoned Jimin there, in the kingdom of sadness, by offering logical reasons.
*****
When Jimin opened his eyes to the new day, it was so early that the other bed was still full. It was the first time he had opened his eyes to a morning with him by his side. He couldn't believe it as mischievous butterflies fluttered in his stomach and he pulled the covers up to his eyes as he watched the Alpha's back.
He was going to marry him, what more could it be?
For a moment he thought he'd made it all up in his head. But the open packet of sweets on the table, the half-drunk water and the pieces of paper crumbled nervously as Jimin listened to him. No, it was all real.
But how could it be?
Fleeing from the negative thoughts that had flooded his mind as soon as he woke up, he made his bed and, so as not to wake the Alpha, tiptoed over to some logs that had been placed by the fireplace. The Alpha had been doing all the work for days and today he had to do something.
He dropped the pieces of wood into the extinguished fireplace and picked up a match, but his first two attempts failed. As he tried a third time, muttering to himself, a grunt came from his right. “The match is wet, try another one.”
“Oh, what?” Jimin looked to his right in surprise, how had the Alpha heard him when he was still in the same position? "Did I wake you?" He picked up another match to show that he could do it.
“No. You're early today.”
Jimin smiled as he lit the match. “There you go… Huh? Did I...yeah. I think I woke up a little early. I slept really well. How about you?”
When the Alpha replied, “Not really…” The Omega's face fell. The happier he was, the more unhappy the Alpha was. But there was nothing they could do but appreciate what they had. He could pretend to be unhappy and devastated - God knew he had plenty of reasons to be - but he owed it to himself to feel happy. How long was he going to make life miserable for his existence?
When he finally managed to light the fire, he breathed a sigh of relief. The Alpha had also risen and was outside again. When he came back, Jimin greeted him with a warm home. But the Alpha didn't seem to notice, he was numb and unhappy. He blinked when he saw Jimin sitting at the table peeling the potatoes he had boiled. Jimin looked at him, “I'm making breakfast, you'll eat too, right?” he asked quietly.
Yoongi poured a glass of water and drank it in a few sips. “I'll do it.” He said, wiping his mouth with the corner of his hand.
“No... Let me do it this time.”
“If you boil the potatoes that much, they'll fall apart.” He mumbled, then wrinkled his nose. Jimin looked down and saw that the potatoes on the plate had indeed fallen apart. “Shall I make some more?”
Yoongi sighed and shook his head, then took some hand-rolled noodles from the wooden cupboard and threw them into a pot of boiling water. The Alpha prepared a quick meal within minutes while Jimin watched him intently. Jimin still hadn't finished peeling the potatoes. When he placed the noodles on the table, while they were swimming in the water with the sauce, the smell opened all the perceptions of the Omega and he licked his lips.
“Enjoy your meal.” Jimin finished as Yoongi started to eat, pushing the plate of potatoes to the middle.
“Eat well. It's going to be a long day today. We'll be leaving before nightfall.”
“Ah...” He swallowed. “So soon?”
“The sooner the better.” He looked at him as he drank his soup. “Are you still sure of your decision?”
Jimin nodded as the hot soup went down his throat, his lips burning a little, but how in God's name could it be so delicious? He almost couldn't concentrate. “ Yes, I'm sure, Yoongi.” He said almost mischievously. “You don't seem to want me to be sure.”
“I thought about it all night.” Yoongi said. “A young Omega like you has a long way to go. The life you've lived so far has been so bad that you might be under the illusion that it will be the same in the future. I think you'll regret this deal rather than be happy with it.”
Jimin didn't look at him as he swallowed a small slice of potato and gathered his answer in his mind. “You don't have to worry about me or think about me. Even if I don't want to, I have to. You don't understand, Yoongi... I have no one else but you.”
“I don't want to make things more difficult for you.” The Alpha said calmly. “There's a part of me that thinks I'm being unfair to you, but a big part of me... wants to. Like I have to. Like I'll regret if I don't.”
Well, that was an epic moment of Yoongi at his most honest. Jimin blinked his wide eyes and shook his head as he fiddled with the string hanging from the sleeve of his jumper. It was probably his wolf. The voice that had driven him to his death. He wouldn't let it. He raged at himself, if the truth came out of his mouth... What would happen? He couldn't, he pushed it away again.
“Then think no more.” He said to the Alpha. “I don't think you're a bad or opportunistic person either. No one is forcing me. I said yes of my own free will.”
“There is something I haven't told you.” Yoongi put down his wooden spoon and looked at him guiltily. “A secret.”
Jimin's pulse quickened, heat rushed up his neck. What was going on? Or... It couldn't be, could it? He couldn't be keeping the same secret from Jimin. But a part of the Omega naively hoped so.
When Yoongi finished eating and got up from the table, he called Jimin over and together they sat down on the soft cushions by the fireplace. “I have to show you something.”
“What is it?" He asked, butterflies fluttering in his stomach, unable to take his eyes off the Alpha as he folded his hands in his lap and sat on his knees.
He was going to tell him he had flowers. He would tell him, and tonight they would truly be mates.
“It's hard for me to say this, but since we're in this business, you have a right to know. It wouldn't be right for me to keep it from you. I'm telling you before I mate you... so you still have a chance to walk away.”
“You frightening me…" He said, nibbling at his lip. The beating of his heart echoed in his ears.
And Yoongi fell silent instead of talking and explaining. Under Omegan's sceptical gaze, he turned his face to the burning fireplace and took off the knitted hat he never took off his head. As soon as Jimin noticed his orange-red hair, he put his hand to his lips in surprise. But he still couldn't prevent a murmur from escaping his lips. He had to confess. This was not what he had expected. It wasn't like that at all, he wouldn't have thought of it in forty years.
“You…” He paused. “You're a…”
“Yes.” Yoongi finished, bowing his head, his face flickering with flame light. “I'm a fox hybrid and that's my big secret.”
A fox. That was fabulous.
Jimin couldn't help himself. He couldn't hold back and his little fingers lifted up and slowly climbed into the Alpha's orange hair. He had never seen anything so beautiful before. His blood was boiling and his insides were chirping. ‘Of course…’ He thought . ‘My soul mate should be as special and unique as I am.’
Just as he was about to touch it, Yoongi turned his head and ignored the hand in the air. “What do you think? You must have given up on getting married.”
“What?” He lowered his hand. “Why would I do that?”
Yoongi was as confused as he was. “What? It didn't affect you?”
Jimin laughed confusedly, not understanding. “What effect could it have on our marriage? Although... Wait a minute. I might get jealous and want the same colour in my hair.”
“Hey...” He said, sounding annoyed. “I'm serious. Is this funny to you? It's ruined my whole life.”
“Oh...” When he was just trying to lighten the tense atmosphere. “No, no... I just...”
“Whatever…” He put on his hat. “Now you know who I am. A fox hybrid is rarely born in wolf packs, if you didn't know.”
“I've never seen one.”
“You've been in dozens of packs.” He said with a hint. He was suddenly aggressive. Like a wolf licking its wounds.
“It must be very rare.”
“That's because they were killed as soon as they were born. I would have ended up the same way. I was two days old when my parents discovered that I was a fox hybrid. They wanted to bury me alive, but somehow they gave up... Thanks to my father's influence, I found a place in my own pack. Thanks to them, they never separated me. But I'm a danger to other packs. That's why I've hidden this fact all my life. They couldn't even find a mate for me because no one would have accepted me.” He huffed. “It was the only time it worked for me…”
“But...”
“No one wants to take the chance that the child of a hybrid Alpha might turn out to be a fox.” An eyebrow lifted. “Would you?”
Jimin thought for a moment, but no, he wouldn't mind at all. “I wouldn't mind.” He replied with a pursed lip that didn't sound convincing at all to Yoongi. “You're just saying that because you're in a difficult situation right now.”
“No... I wouldn't change my mind later.”
“Why should I believe you?”
Jimin found his attitude childish, but he didn't snap at him. “You can believe what you want. That's what I believe.”
It was the first time the Alpha had been scolded by the Omega. Shaking his head vaguely, he looked down at the black hat in his hand. “ I guess I'm surprised that you accept it so easily, I don't know. No one has ever taken the fact that I'm a hybrid so normally.” Then he looked at the Omega. “I actually thought you were a hybrid when you told me you were often banished from the packs.”
“Is that why you saved me?” The Alpha frowned, taking his joke seriously. “No, of course not. I'm not that bad.”
“I was joking... You still thought I was a hybrid. You must be disappointed that I'm not.”
“A little…” He said bluntly. “When I was little, I wondered what it would be like to meet someone like me. I guess I just have to accept that I'm alone now.”
‘I wish I was a fox,’ Jimin thought and looked at the blazing fire for a while. So they had been looking at the same sky all this time. They had seen different stars, had been dragged to the same pain in different galaxies. The unbearable burden of being different. Yoongi thought he was alone, but in fact Jimin had suffered his pain all the time. “Maybe this is God's gift to us…” He said with a faint smile. “But we're too young to understand that.”
“Maybe…” The Alpha said, but there was not the slightest hint of conviction in his voice, as if he were a living corpse. Jimin wanted to wake him from the sleep of death.
This time it was Jimin who broke the silence, the clock on the wooden wall ticking a little after three in the afternoon. The pain in his stomach increased as the time approached, but he didn't want to put it off, he wanted to get it over with. If he was going to be mated, then he had to be mated as soon as possible. “Come on.” He said. “Let's do it. It's getting late.”
Yoongi nodded, then turned his body over and looked at Jimin and asked. “Are you comfortable?”
“Not really…” The Omega replied.
“Me neither.”
Jimin smiled, hoping to lighten the mood. He felt like the piece that didn't fit into the puzzle, like he had to file down the jagged edges to make it fit. As his smile faded, he asked, “Is it going to hurt a lot?”
Yoongi's gaze softened at that moment, he felt sorry for him and the feeling was killing him. He almost got up and walked away, leaving everything behind. He clenched his teeth and shook his head vaguely. “It won't be real mating. Real mating is something that's done in the most pleasurable moment of a wolf's life, and the pleasure of that moment is so intense that they don't even feel the pain of the mating. But what we're doing now is far from that. We don't feel anything for each other. I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't hurt you. It will be painful for both of us, our wolves will suffer.”
Jimin's lips tightened to keep them from trembling. He had put his wolf through enough already, so much so that he hadn't made a sound for days. But maybe... Maybe mating would make everything all right. He naively wanted to believe that it would. But he knew it wouldn't. After all, even the mating was for show, a game, an agreement. Feelings weren't even a part of this game.
“Okay…“ He said in a barely audible tone. “What if they find out we're cheating?”
“They won't. It's something only we will understand. Mating is two-sided, in body and soul, it will look perfect on the outside, but we will feel in the deepest part of our souls that it is not real.”
He almost burst into tears. Ah... Was he strong enough to overcome this game? How quickly he had lowered his sails, how quickly he had given up. He tried to straighten up. He had been so convinced that his soulmate would touch him gently. If he touched him tenderly, he would be the first to do so.
But it just wasn't happening, no matter what he did, something always went wrong.
“I am ready.” He said without looking at him. He kept his eyes closed during the mating ritual so that he could imagine that he was in a completely different place. When Yoongi touched him, he thought it was a touch of love, how much the Alpha loved and cherished him.
Yoongi watched him for a few seconds, trying to catch his gaze, but decided against it. He was obviously just as uncomfortable and nervous as the Alpha. God knew this was the hardest thing Yoongi had ever done, and the hardest thing hadn't even come yet. They were going to get married. After a while, the pack would start to question them and they would find themselves in bed to fulfil their duty. His whole body froze, even the flow of his blood changed. But he had no intention of dragging it out any longer and torturing them both. He had to do it and get over it. As he swallowed hard, his Adam's apple moved. He couldn't help but examine Omega.
His face, shadowed by the fire, was tiny, so small that he could cover his entire face with one hand. He had a hazelnut nose and full, large lips that had perhaps never been kissed before. The marks of the incident a few days ago were still on his face, the bruise on his cheek had almost disappeared. They had hurt him and now he was doing the same in a completely different way. He sighed. He was a beautiful, handsome Omega, no doubt about it, and no matter what he had been through, he still had that boyish expression on his face. Perhaps the hardest days of his life were not behind him, but in the days to come. He moistened his lips as he felt his heart ache for the first time in a long time.
At first he raised his hand in his lap, inches away from touching his face, but something stopped him.Jimin waited with his eyes closed as his hand remained in the air. Yoongi touched the neckline of the Omega's sweater, pulling the knitted fabric down slightly so he could see the spot he wanted to bite. Jimin suddenly grabbed the Alpha's wrist. When their eyes met, Jimin looked pleading. “ Please be gentle …” He said as his eyes filled.
“I'll do my best.” He said, as stunned as the Omega. His throat tightened and he looked away, then saw the short fingers wrapped around his wrist. Everywhere he looked he saw pain. So he closed his eyes for a moment to breathe and calm himself.
He immediately regretted it. Painful memories flashed before his eyes, pain... endless pain. They had turned into nightmares that haunted him every night. They tormented him without a break. Every night he died inside.
Now he wanted to be free of this pain. And of this remorse and regret. But he knew it wouldn't happen.
He didn't need to open his eyes, the wolf knew exactly what to do. He was always ready, he had already overcome his pain. It was he who gave him no rest. He did not interfere when the Omega's hand gripped his wrist, he could let him touch him just this once if it would do him good. And it was mutual. When he brought his face closer, his nose reached the hollow of the Omega's neck, as if he had found his home. How long had it been since he had been so close to an Omega? He felt a sting in his stomach. He was now at the source of the faint scent that had been in his nostrils ever since he had met the Omega, perhaps at the most intimate place of an Omega.
And now he was almost invited. Jimin tilted his neck back slightly and offered himself to him, to the Alpha with whom he had agreed to unite his life.
Yoongi was stunned by the increasing floral pheromones, unable to move for a moment. Feeling a warmth spreading to his heart, he covered himself and rubbed the tip of his nose against the Omega's warm skin. When Jimin shivered at his touch, his instincts kicked in. He placed his hand on the Omega's cheek, hoping to comfort him and release his pheromones for him for a moment. It took a moment but Jimin relaxed under his hands. At that moment, Yoongi bared his teeth and sank them into the omega's thin, vulnerable skin.
Jimin bit his lip at the sharp pain he felt and, unable to control himself, curled his free fingers into a fist around the Alpha's jumper. Tears welled up in his eyes, a tiny whimper escaped his lips and a tear fell from his eye as the Alpha's pheromones filled his nose again, making him weak. That was it.
This was it.
It was a moment between nothing and nothing that passed like the wind, leaving behind ruins that could not be rebuilt. Yoongi was embarrassed to look at the Omega when he finished in a few seconds and pulled his teeth back. He almost wanted to get down on his knees and apologise to him. Instead, he handed Jimin the embroidered cloth he had taken from his jacket pocket.
Jimin took it hesitantly and pressed it gently against the warm wetness on his neck, it didn't hurt but he knew that the mark was bleeding. The pain of the first moment was gone, maybe it was the scent. The scent of the soulmate who had healed him.
So why didn't his scent work? Why did Yoongi look like he was in pain?
He felt exhausted as he wiped the tear from his eye without the Alpha noticing. The Alpha moistened his lips, almost tasting the omegas on his tongue. He had never felt so disgusting. He wanted to go and scrub his whole body with boiling water, but he got up quickly to run away. “Get some rest.” He said hurriedly. “I'll be outside... I'll get you some painkillers.”
Before Jimin could say no, the Alpha was already out of the house. He had left him alone in an experience that was difficult for an Omega to deal with.
It would be foolish to expect more from him and Jimin thought he was a fool.
Notes:
*how did it end- taylor swift
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Take care ^-^
Chapter Text
6- " The two of us are already far apart. Even though we are meant to be together.”*
Yoongi didn't know how long he had been wandering senselessly outside the cabin. When he tried to breathe, it was as if someone was pressing hard on his chest, making it impossible for him to breathe. His ears were ringing like there was a big explosion nearby, and his stomach hurt. After what he had done, he was upside down.
Biting that Omega in the hunting lodge had completely shaken him and his aggressive and grumpy wolf, knocking him off balance. There was no denying that he had been feeling bad for a long time, but what had just happened was just the icing on the cake.
However, on that warm night five years ago, he had promised himself that he would never put himself in such a difficult situation again. While flames were all around him and he was very, very cold. He couldn't do anything about it.
The same thing was happening now. Somehow fate was playing its dirty tricks and putting him in the very situations he was running away from. God must have enjoyed watching him from his place above. He had bitten an Omega. Mated with an innocent young Omega he had never met, and then walked out without looking back. Because he knew that if he stayed, he would have to face something about himself.
Words were meaningless, his efforts useless. That was what he thought, and that was the excuse he used. He had said from the beginning that he couldn't give Omega what he wanted. And now, as if to drive it into his head, he gave him nothing, not really.
He would never have done it if mating had not been an obligation to legitimise their relationship in the eyes of the pack.
But he had done it. He had grabbed an Omega he had never met and bitten into its untouched white skin, sealing it with his fangs. But how naturally it happened. That's how it happened with all of them. His wolf broke its thousand-year-old chains and tore itself from his chest as soon as his scent, those vaguely fragile pheromones, reached his nose. Yoongi was sure that he would have reacted the same way, no matter which Omega it was. His poor wolf had longed for them. Now he accepted it. All this time, the only thing he had condemned while punishing himself was his wolf. He had robbed him, that poor primitive creature, of everything, of every bit of happiness and meaning.
He tried desperately to look on the bright side. His only sister Yuri had advised him to do so, because the light in the darkness is always strong enough to overcome the darkness. And she had wisely added. As long as you want it to... Perhaps this marriage would lead to him and his wolf becoming friends again. Maybe his wolf would be cured by Jimin's presence in his home and his pheromones would return to Yoongi instead of remaining silent for endless hours. He wouldn't have to torture him when the rut came.
There were so many things he had buried in himself that he feared he had sent his wolf under the black earth by mistake. Or maybe he secretly wanted to punish him. After all, he blamed his wolf as much as he blamed himself for that evening. He was no longer sure of anything, and he was already on a path of no return.
His life was over before it had begun, and now he was covering it with earth.
For a while he stood motionless at the edge of the frozen lake. He watched the graceful dance of a winter heron as it broke the ice and hunted the fish in it. The layer of ice was not yet hard enough to support the large body of an Alpha. Out of sheer boredom, he threw a flat stone into the puddle in the middle of the lake. He watched it sink with a loud splash as the bird flew away and landed on the broad branch of a hundred-year-old beech tree.
If only he could fly away now and land somewhere far away….
Seeing that the sky was beginning to darken, he pulled himself together as best he could and, with heavy steps, made his way back to the cabin. All the while, he thought of the words he would say to the Omega. ‘How are you? Let me look at your wound, we have to show the mark to my family, you agree, don't you? We have to, to convince them, otherwise I wouldn't want to.’
Oh, fuck. The bite must have hurt because it was fresh, and Yoongi had said he'd bring something for it, but he'd been so distracted that he'd forgotten everything on the way out.
He didn't know how much more he could screw up. If Omega didn't have any expectations - and he had the feeling that he did - there would be no harm done in their game. Yoongi had really screwed everything up. On the very first day.
If he showed such a careless and thoughtless attitude in front of his family, no one would believe that he loved Omega. That was the point he would make to his family. He would stand in front of them and shout that he was blindly in love with Jimin and had mated with him. He had become a good actor thanks to the difficult living conditions and the impositions of his family, but for the first time he would tell such a big lie.
It would be very difficult to say that he was in love with an Omega whom he had never looked into his eyes for a long time. He did not know what he liked and what he hated, and he had just found out his birthday.
When the doors slammed and he left, it was up to Jimin to face this moment alone. The moment Yoongi left the house, his stiff body began to relax and breathe again in the silence. Because he couldn't do that while he was getting bitten, he was scared. What if he breathes and hears the Alpha's pheromones? What if he bursts into tears and hugs him?
There was a truth in front of him that he couldn't deny. He wanted it, damn it. He wanted it so much. To look into the pale eyes of the Alpha and say: ‘I'm your soulmate… ’ Show him his flowers and turn this bite into a real two-way mating. ‘Love me. Remember me. Have you forgotten me? How can I bear this burden alone?’
Everything was left unsaid in the air, and a bitter smell lingered from the Alpha's absence.
As the light of the fire reflected off his pale face and rippled across his features, Jimin bowed his head. After his trembling fingers had cupped his mark for a moment, two tears fell from his eyes and trickled down his chin. It was only after a few minutes that he realised he had been crying actually. He was so disorganised, he didn't know how to tidy up.
Nothing was happening.
After Yoongi had mated with him, he got up and left without a backward glance. Not a single kind word, not a single intimacy, not even a little attention... Nothing… He just handed him a piece of cloth. When Jimin's eyes fell on the clean, light-coloured cloth, he found himself bringing it closer to his nose. As soon as he smelled it, he quickly stuffed it into his trouser pocket as if he had sinned. Jimin thought the Alpha was trying to make him hate him. Maybe he thought that distance was the best thing for their relationship. But it would kill Jimin from within. If not now, then one day.
So he had to be brave and try to heal him, regardless of the sharp and harsh words of his soulmate. Most of all, he had to heal himself. Besides... How long could an Alpha resist him, his soulmate, when they lived in the same house, surrounded by their pheromones? And when things calmed down, Jimin would explain everything to him. But not now. Not now.
He quickly wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and stood up after regaining his senses. Yoongi would be here soon. Then they would return to the pack together. It would be the first time that he would have a long-term, even permanent pack, and the Alpha couldn't know what that meant. He couldn't even imagine what he was promising. The world was his, and yet he had been pushed out of it.
When the Alpha twisted the brass handle of the door about ten minutes later, Jimin had doused the fire with water and was dressed in the cleanest and finest clothes he owned. No matter how hard he tried, this was what he could be. He looked like a simple and unpretentious Omega, or even a Beta. He was nowhere near as beautiful as Taehyung. His wet hair was dirty, no matter how hard he tried. He had neither the time nor the space to wash it. He didn't complain. When the Alpha closed the door behind him, Yoongi kept his eyes fixed on the Omegas neck, trying to straighten his hair with his back to him. The bruise that would be gone in a few days was now very visible. It was hard to take his eyes off it as his wild wolf whipped him to take care of him. It was a strong, very strong instinct and hard to resist. He had never mated with an Omega before so this was the first time he had encountered such resistance.
Yoongi almost gave his wolf an imaginary slap. He couldn't just go and comfort him as if nothing had happened. That would be a lie. Besides, the Omega was already very uncomfortable with his touch. Given the chance, he might even want to erase his existence from here.
“You're ready…”
Jimin nodded quietly without turning to him and stopped messing with his hair. As far as he could see in his broken mirror, he already looked less than promising. “You said we would leave in the evening. It's almost evening.”
“Are you sure? Don't you want to rest?
Omega shook his head again and Yoongi was thankful that he didn't look him in the eye. That wasn't even the last thing he wanted to do at that moment. “I'm fine.”
“I was going to get you some painkillers..” the Omega interrupted. “We're going to the pack anyway, I'll go to the healer.”
“Don't you at least want to apply this ointment?” Yoongi took a small jar from the wooden shelf without looking at the Omega. “I've heard it's good for aches and pains. Not as good as arnica, but...”
“You seem to know a lot.” Jimin interjected as he picked up the jar. Ever since he had been in this house, the Alpha had somehow found and brought him things that were good for him. He even gathered them with his own hands. Surely he had a deep knowledge of healing.
“I'm a little interested.” the Alpha murmured. He was glad that another subject had come up, he couldn't get close to the truth right now. “There are other herbs that are good for mark pain, I'm not sure about this one. The healer in the pack will know better.”
“It doesn't hurt anyway.” Jimin said, trying to be careless. “It's not a problem. You don't have to pretend to care.”
Yoongi watched his profile, it was easy to watch Jimin as he kept his eyes on one spot. Still, he looked away when his eyes felt forbidding, as if he were travelling on land that didn't belong to him. “I'm not trying to do that…”
Then he noticed something that landed on his face like a slap. It smelled different inside now. It was the dance of pheromones. That rare scent that came from the combination of two different scents. It was like those legends everyone talked about. But it was so weak and doomed to disappear that he couldn't even think about it.
If they really loved each other, their scent would have been much stronger. But that wasn't going to happen. Their relationship had been a lie from the start. When Omega didn't say anything to him, Yoongi felt like drowning again and decided to drink some soju to relax a little before going to his parents. Walking quickly, he reached over to one of the shelves and grabbed a bottle of soju, which he had stolen from the bottles the pack had prepared and put away in the cellar. He would need a strong drink tonight.
While he was halfway through drinking from his leather flask, the Omega's eyes fell on him. Yoongi suddenly stopped drinking when their eyes met and handed the flask to the Omega on his right. The Omega looked at the flask with wide eyes as if he saw a drink for the first time, then shook his head from side to side and grimaced.
“Don't you like it?”
“I never drank. We were forbidden such things.” he said bluntly.
“Which pack?”
“Every pack has a nice list of dos and don'ts for Omegas. Especially if they're young and single. Being an Alpha, it's no wonder you don't mind.”
“Who said I don't mind? I'm not responsible for the packs' behaviour towards Omegas.”
“Oh yeah... That's what they always say.” When Jimin wrapped his arms around each other as if he was cold, Yoongi stopped talking and got ready to leave. Jimin had already lost interest in the conversation and wore his old coat with his back turned. He hadn't even thought about buying him a coat. He had never met such a poor and helpless Omega before and he didn't know what he would need.
“Hoseok will take care of your basic needs like coats and boots, I'll introduce you tomorrow.”
“Thank you. I think I can manage with what I have.” While he buttoned the buttons, some of which were broken, Jimin's lips pursed. The Alpha didn't even notice that they were nice and full. He deliberately avoided examining them in detail, staring at the damp floorboards as if he were seeing them for the first time.
“You can't,” the Alpha snapped. He'd get even more flak from his family if he showed him around in such a shabby state. “You're going to be a Min now. Family is very important to us,” he averted his eyes. “I mean, especially to Mum and Dad. They don't want our good name tarnished. They're very protective of everything, and they're very interested in how we look...”
The Alpha, who had not expected the Omega to ask “Am I going to bring dishonour to your name by dressing like that?”, was confused and could not answer for a while. Jimin nodded tiredly, “No need to explain, you said your family was difficult, I've been practising.”
“I didn't mean it like that, that's how they see it... for me it's a meaningless thing.”
“Am I going to marry your parents or you?” He asked this time. Although Jimin usually seemed quiet and well-behaved, the Alpha was beginning to realise that he was intelligent and clever. He opened the door while shaking his head from side to side. “There is a saying in our pack... Marriage is a two-way street. Choose the family before the mate, they say, so yes...”
“How nice... Yesterday I had no one. Today I have a family and an Alpha.” The Alpha locked the door with a thoughtful expression on his face as Jimin reached over and slipped on his boots with worn soles. Who knew when he would return to this house, it would not be soon. They would nag him in packs and then insist on a wedding.
And then, leaving the little cabin behind, they set off along the small path that had been cleared the day before. The snow had tapered off for the time being, but the dark clouds heralded a new wave of snow.
“I liked your cabin.” Jimin said as they trudged through the snow.
“Consider yourself lucky. You're the first Omega to get in there.”
Smiling, the Omega used his old scarf to cover his aching neck. “Good thing I got hurt, then.”
“A series of coincidences…” Yoongi laughed.
“Do you believe in coincidences?”
Yoongi replied quickly. “Do you believe in fate?”
Didn't he? He'd been chasing it all his life. He nodded as he looked at the ground, almost having to run to keep up with the Alpha's fast steps. “Yeah.”
“I think it was... fate rather than coincidence. Look where we are now.”
Jimin nodded and looked at him. But he wished they were somewhere more beautiful. Like a real proposal or the moment of mating? He couldn't say anything. Still, he liked that the Alpha associated it with fate.
Yoongi stopped in the middle of the street when he noticed that the Omega was limping behind him. He was walking ahead to see if there was any danger. “Are you in pain? How's your leg?”
“Ah... no. No, it's fine. I'm fine.” He said as he tried to speed up, hurting himself even more. He couldn't be a burden to him, he couldn't be a burden to anyone. He had to get well as soon as possible and take control of the situation.
“Is that why you're limping?”
“It will pass soon." He said hurriedly. He hoped his parents wouldn't notice his limp. What questions would they ask him, and what would he answer? They hadn't discussed it. I can look after myself.
“You can't take care of yourself anymore.”
Jimin involuntarily looked at the Alpha who was waiting for him to catch up. He felt forced to say such things. “Why? Do you want to console yourself by pretending to take care of me?”
Yoongi put his hands in his pockets and looked around with a shrug. The snow had lightened. “Because you're my mate now...” As much as he tried to say it like he didn't care, the sentence left a bitter taste in his mouth, the lump in his stomach growing. He feared it would soon turn into something that would swallow him whole.
When he made the mistake of looking at Jimin, he turned his head and saw that the Omega gave him a meaningful look. “This is what everyone will assume. We have to act accordingly.” He continued.
Behind closed doors, two strangers…” Jimin said in a flat voice.
“Just like we agreed.”
“Yes.” the Omega confirmed. Then they continued on their way. His eyes were always on the ground as he walked, counting his steps. Every now and then he limped and was in danger of falling, but he did not ask for help. The large grey scarf around his neck and shoulders covered every part of his face except his eyes.
The Alpha felt a heartbreaking pain inside him, but he didn't dwell on it.
“Are we going to walk much further?”
“Not much longer.”
“Well, let's rehearse a bit. It would be nice if you could give me some hints as to what I'm going to say. Where I come from... who I am... they'll want to hear the whole story, of course.”
“Yes.” He nodded. “They'll want to see what made me make that decision, especially if there's already a potential mate. So we'll give them what they want.” He paused. He looked at him. “We'll use the traditional story. We'll say we fell in love at first sight and we don't want to lose it. Sound good to you?”
“Yes.” A word and then deep silence… The Alpha sighed in anguish as he saw ravens flying overhead; they must have been carrying food to their nest. It was a sign that home was near, over the hill, and then he would see the faint torchlight. God knew what the rumble would be. Within minutes everyone would hear what had happened and tell each other. All hell would break loose on the family front.
In the end, the majority would be happy about the marriage. Some would be sad. Who knows how the future wife and her family would feel. But Yoongi did not want to make things worse by trying to fix them, he had never approved of this marriage. If his family had listened to him, they would have understood. He didn't want to get married now either, but it was better that the marriage candidate was the person he wanted.
At least they could get along.
They didn't talk for five minutes. Jimin was preoccupied with the strange pain in his neck. From that moment on, he only listened to the mark and tried to hear it. He spent the time trying to make sense of what was happening. But nothing was happening.
It was pure pain.
They still weren't bound by the sacred bond. The Alpha had already spoken, it was a two-sided bond and he had only activated one side. Maybe they had sealed their fate with that, they would never really be soulmates.
Jimin should have realised that by now. There was no future for them like he had imagined. In the best case scenario, he would be safe and happy on his own in his nest. No one would mistreat him or treat him like a slave. He could look on the bright side. But there was no future with Yoongi. He'd have to work hard and eventually exhaust himself. If it was meant to be, it was meant to be... He felt so confused that he couldn't do anything. He was tired, hurt and wanted to cry. And laugh. Really laugh. To laugh and laugh. To pick up the mirror and stare at his mark for hours. The wolf's reaction to this was quite different. He was happy about the mark, no matter what happened.
And now it affected Jimin as well, the excitement ripped through his chest and fought to get out.
He put his absent-mindedness and pouting aside just before they reached the border. He approached the Alpha who was walking about a metre to his right. Yoongi also looked at him in surprise. “We should act like mates when we enter the territory. What will the pack think if there is a world of distance between us?” He said, wetting his lips. His nose was red again, it was very cold.
“Yes, that's right. Let's get closer.”
“Let's practise.” He immediately took a step behind him. “Should I walk behind you like that? Some married Omegas used to walk one step behind their Alphas. I guess it's about respect.”
Yoongi found this very primitive and stupid. “I'd rather you walk next to me.”
“You say you're a progressive.” Jimin scoffed, a slight chuckle accompanying his voice.
Yoongi snorted in annoyance as he felt himself blushing slightly. His chuckle was pleasant enough to annoy him. “No kidding.” He scratched his neck. “Do you prefer Omegas to be undervalued in packs?”
Jimin replied with raised eyebrows. “No, of course not.” He took everything seriously. “I just wanted to lighten the mood.” Then he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Besides, the alphas prefer it. We never had a say. Especially outcasts like me. They didn't even treat me like an Omega.”
“They'll behave now.” He snapped. “What more do you want?”
“I'm grateful, your Alpha Highness.” Jimin made an imaginary reference while the Alpha actually grunted and quickened his pace to get away from him. “You're annoying today.”
“No, I'm just nervous and you're not helping.” The Omega said, trying to keep up with him. “Your parents are going to kick my arse.”
“You'll get used to it”.
Again he tried to catch up with the Alpha and take his arm. For he could smell the scents that told him they were approaching the pack. “What are you doing?” he looked back at the Alpha. “Trying to act like a mate.”
“They'll know when they smell us.”
“That's fine. If we're going to act... we have to act perfectly.”
Yoongi couldn't keep up with the Omega's fast emotional changes, but it was still better than a silent Omega. At least he didn't feel like shit. Like... like they could get through this whole stupid game together, but what if he approached him like someone he wasn't and the Omega thought of something else and ruined everything? What would happen then?
“Okey… I think we should stay close.” He said, then joined him.
“Shall I take your arm? That's what Omega ladies always did in packs” He said cheerfully. Yoongi thought that his voice sounded really nice, could he hear him singing? What was he to him? Who was he to comment on him? He was the furthest away.
The Alpha nodded once as Jimin cleared his throat and started to back away. “Okay.” The Omega was right. They had to play their game well. He waited for the Omega's tiny hand to wrap around his arm when he held it out. Then he looked straight ahead, so he wouldn't be blinded by their contact, so he wouldn't feel bad. He felt it enough as it was.
“I can see that this is hard for you.” Jimin said as they started to walk arm in arm. He still felt sorry for him, what could he do? He was just like that. He was like someone he dreamed of being at this very moment. With his Alpha on his arm, he wanted to show off to the imaginary pack that didn't like him.
If only he could do that in the packs that shunned him. When no one looked out for him, when they shunned him and beat him, if only someone could take his arm and stand up for him without fear. All those times he had no one but himself.
“Here we are.” Yoongi stopped and looked across the large lighted area beyond the shoveled path. He saw some people walking around. “Look,” he said, pointing to the right. “Those two-storey houses, that's my parents' house.”
Jimin made a strange sound. “Wow. They must be rich. Only rich families live in big houses like this.”
“A bit...” Yoongi's lip curled up slightly, but Jimin didn't see it, his eyes were wide as he stared at the huge room the whole pack occupied.
“Are you ready to face them?”
“As ready as you are.”
And the two walked through the entrance to the warriors' quarters, looking exactly like a couple, in contact with each other. Yoongi nodded when he saw Seojoon and Yujong. They were good warriors and respected him, as did most of the pack. Jimin wanted to bury his head in the sand when every few steps someone stopped to watch them. The snowdrifts had melted in places from today's bright sun, turning the ground to mud and making him dirty. Swallowing, he turned his gaze forward, they would judge him, he would be judged, very badly. It was certain that he didn't belong on Yoongi's side. He didn't know if it would suit him in the future.
He was rich, respected by the Alphas, had an influential family and an important lineage. Jimin was nothing to him.
He would have liked his soulmate to recognise him for who he was, without his name and all the glamour that adorned his life.
But they were soulmates. God must have known something.
As they passed through what looked like a market place with tents and huts lined up, an Alpha selling fruit and vegetables said, “Is what I'm seeing true, or am I dead?” Jimin heard and said, “Everyone is surprised.” he said, moving closer to the Alpha.
“It was to be expected.”
“Min Yoongi! Are you finally making your family happy?” Yoongi smiled quickly as an old man with a stick walked in front of them. It was the first time he had actually smiled. Jimin was so surprised that he couldn't take his eyes off the Alpha.
It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He couldn't even recognise him. He wished he would always smile like that. He would have fallen in love with him right away. He couldn't help it.
But this magical moment vanished like a soap bubble. As they left the man behind, the Alpha's face frowned again. “He was one of the oldest administrators.”
“Ah... I see. I guess he's important.”
“He is. Leadership is different in every pack. In our pack, the Alpha leader and his deputies run this pack of thousands. My father is one of the assistant alphas.”
“Your father is also an important person, yes, I see.” He said with a quick nod. That intimidated him even more. He didn't like big Alphas.
“In his own way.” Yoongi muttered dissatisfied. “This mission will be passed on to one of us one day. Probably Jungkook.”
Jimin frowned. “Isn't Jungkook younger than you? Why don't you take over?” Although, if he took over such an important task, he would see Yoongi less, which was not in the Omega's favour.
Yoongi huffed. “Because my father loves me...”
They walked through the grove while the Omega, who did not understand what he meant, was lost in thought, and after a moment the Alpha spoke. “Here we are.” The large house they arrived at was surrounded by fences. It was covered with large trees like willows and oaks and had a magnificent outer door. Jimin tried again and again to clean himself up, but it was no use, his trousers were always muddy. Yoongi was dirty too, but he still looked so noble and strong.
Maybe whatever happened to Omegas always happened to them.
It was very, very, very nice. There was a small poultry house on one side of the garden, a wooden barn with farm animals, a red-tiled barn where the hay was kept, and a garden oven that he was used to seeing right next to it. He had once eaten bread baked in the garden oven and he still remembered the taste. Chewing his lips, he felt like crying. Now this was their home too. “Do you have animals too?”
Yoongi nodded. “Yes, we do. Every big family has them.”
“I know how to milk them!” He added excitedly. “Maybe I can be of use to you...” But before he could finish his sentence, Yoongi snapped. “Are you a maid or my mate? “
When Jimin fell silent, the Alpha realised he had gone too far and sighed. “Look, Jimin,” He turned to him, they were close enough to the house that they could see the patterns of the moulded wooden windows and the thick curtains behind them. “Don't talk about what you used to do in front of my family. You might be ridiculed for trying to curry favour with them. For both our sakes, forget honesty, you'll get hurt.”
“Why would they make fun of me? There's no shame in that, is there?” His voice was almost rebellious.
Yoongi looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. His heart was pounding, disgusted by his parents' opinion. “They don't see it that way. They're afraid that an outsider coming into this family will ruin their reputation. You'd better say nothing tonight, just stay by my side.”
“I'll do my best.”
The two wooden steps were out of reach and then Yoongi lifted the doorknob and knocked on the door. Jimin breathed in and out quickly, sweating heavily. “Try to stay calm.” He said sharply. “I'm trying.” He would do as he said, even if what had just happened had crushed his heart. He would pretend to be someone he wasn't, and if he wanted to, he would lie. But no lie could last forever, they would find out what his shabby disguise meant.
He did not look like a rich, dignified and noble man from a respectable family. As he was encouraging himself, the white-painted door opened and a middle-aged female Beta looked at them in surprise. “Yoongi-ah… Alpha Min, I'm sorry. W-welcome.”
“Junhee, your face is as white as lime.” Yoongi entered and Jimin walked past her with a weak smile. “I don't know what mum will do if even you react like this.”
When the woman's eyes turned to Jimin in confusion, Yoongi noticed and handed her his jacket as he said, “This is Junhee. Jimin. He's my mate... Soon to be a Min.” He said quickly and as if he was talking about something ordinary. Hearing this, the Beta's expression was shocked, but Yoongi didn't care and turned to his Omega and helped him unbutton his coat and take it off. “Take this.”
“S-Sir, you...”
“Did you have something to say?”
As the woman started to answer, she was silenced by the sound of laughter from inside. “Do we have a guest?”
A voice rose from inside, calling Junhee's name. “Junhee, who is it?”
“Sir...” Yoongi raised his hand and stopped her from answering, then grabbed Jimin's hand and pulled him after him. “Let's surprise them.” Jimin gave his coat to the woman and his thoughts stayed with her. They even had servants. As he tried to fix his hair, he suddenly felt like he was in a circus, on a big stage with everyone watching him. Unknown and small.
He felt the grip of Yoongi's hand, squeezing his palm numbly. It was a cold contact. He swallowed and took in the details around him. Family members gathered around a large table. All eyes were on him. All of them sending burning and poisonous glances at Jimin.
What could he say? He had stumbled into the house out of the blue, anyone else would have been looked at like that.
“Good evening everyone.” Yoongi said without letting go of his hand. He looked nervously at his Alpha. His face fell a little and his jaw clenched. “I didn't know we'd have guests tonight. Welcome, Alpha Minjun and Omega Euncha.” He paused. “ And Yuna. ”
At that name, Jimin froze. Was that the Omega Yuna staring back at him? The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he averted his eyes from the beautiful blonde Omega. He was in a very bad position. It couldn't get any worse. It was getting harder and harder to stay there when all he wanted to do was run away.
Yoongi hadn't mentioned that. He must not have known that his future partner would be here too. When the old woman on the left asked, “What does that mean, Yoongi?” Jimin pressed the scarf tightly around his neck.
They must have got it. The eyes of the two Alphas were still on the Omega, they must have smelled the scent coming from him...
“Shit.” One of them said. It was Jungkook, the Alpha who had stormed his house. Next to him sat Taehyung, who looked at Jimin with judging eyes. He obviously had an important place at this table, but would Jimin have one too?
“What did you do...” The owner of this question was an old Alpha sitting in front. The shape of his eyes reminded Yoongi. It was obviously his father.
“Yes” Yoongi said calmly. “What you saw is true. Are we going to do this in front of our guests?”
The other older Alpha interjected, putting the spoon down noisily on the table. “What a shame!” Yuna beside him had tears in her eyes. “Alpha Min. I hope you have a reasonable explanation for this.”
The Omega, Yuna's mother, shook her head from side to side and stood up. “We can't stay here another minute. It's a great shame, Chaerin-sshi. If your son has an Omega...”
Chaerin-sshi, a noble-looking woman with white curly hair, raised her hand. “For God's sake, Euncha, would we be so shocked if we knew! Sit down, sit down. If anyone should go, it's this Omega.”
Yoongi laughed sarcastically, “Alright. Shall we continue? That's fine with me. After all, I've repeated my warning many times and even though I insisted on talking to Yuna, I was blocked. I never wanted this marriage. And Mum... this Omega is my mate.”
“Enough! That's enough! I think everyone understands now, it seems you have something to talk about too.” Yuna's father stood up his bearded face was red with anger. His eyes were blazing and Jimin found herself flinching as bad memories flashed through his mind. “Get up Yuna, there's no place for you at this table, we got it.”
When Yuna quietly rose from the table, Alpha Dohyun could think of nothing to say. He was furious, and his silence was like the calm before the storm. When the visiting family left the house like a raging storm, the family members were left behind. Taehyung, on the other hand, as if he belonged to this family, did not care at all, and he was secretly happy because he knew that this event would work in their favour. But he was still not happy to be in the same family with an Omega like Jimin.
Jimin felt his knees shake as all eyes turned to him again, luckily his Alpha was still holding his hand so he didn't collapse. He swallowed hard and lowered his eyes to the floor, it would have been better if he hadn't spoken at all. What was he going to say anyway? He wasn't much of a liar and he hoped he wouldn't ruin this marriage with his honesty.
As Jimin felt his ears ringing, there was a sudden noise and the Omega raised his head and the Father Alpha, whose name was Dohyun, quickly got up from the table. The chair he was sitting on was knocked over and the people around the table were startled. The Beta, who had not spoken since their arrival and was sitting in the chair nearest to the couple, said, "Father. Calm down.”
She must have been Yoongi's older sister. Jimin could hardly take his eyes off her, he had never seen such a beautiful Beta with her short black shoulder length hair, big brown eyes and pretty lips. Beta family members were rare in rich, noble families, he could say he had never come across them. But the Min Family seemed to be quite rich in species diversity.
Her father didn't stop. Slowly and surely he walked towards Yoongi and Jimin who were standing in front of the table. Everyone was in a state of nervous anticipation. When they came nose to nose with his son, Jimin squeezed Yoongi's hand even tighter without realising it. His father's pheromones, strong enough to bring an Omega to his knees, were having a strong effect on him. Yoongi did not take his eyes off his father as soon as he felt this contact and signalled to Jimin to let go of his hand and go behind him.
Even without saying anything, Jimin felt safe. Was this what it was like to be a soulmate? He quickly hid behind him.
He didn't know how many minutes it took, but it had to be long. It was as if they were both testing their strength in a primal battle. The father against his son. The son against the father.
Alpha Dohyun’s jaw tightened and he finally asked, “What have you done?”
“Isn't it obvious?” Yoongi replied coolly. Jimin wondered, weren't those strong pheromones affecting him at all?
Yoongi’s mother Chaerin spoke from behind, slumped in a chair and moaned unconsciously. “My son, you've disgraced us in front of everyone. Everyone! I don't understand how you could do this. Haven't we put up with so much for you? What have we missed that you do this to us? I'm going to faint…”
“Shut up, Chaerin!” The Omega obeyed his mate as he growled. “I asked you what you did, Yoongi.”
“I mated with him, any more questions?”
Jimin's heart tightened with fear as the old man suddenly grabbed the arm of the Omega who had taken cover behind his son and pulled him towards him. His touch was so rough that Jimin couldn't help but whimper and closed his eyes out of habit. Like when they used to beat him.
“Is this true?”
Jimin was so scared that he didn't even realise he was asking him, so the Alpha shook him and the Omega gritted his teeth. “I said is it true! Show me if my son is mated with an Omega like you!”
“Keep your hands off him, I'm the one you're dealing with.” Yoongi interjected. “How dare you touch him?”
“Shut up!”
“That's right.” Jimin said shakily and then opened the scarf around his neck with trembling hands to show everyone his mark. Couldn't they tell by the smell? Did they have to see it? As if this moment wasn't painful enough for him. “We are mated…”
Chaerin shouted. “Junhee get me my medicine, I can't breathe!” His mother cried while the others froze. As if no one had expected Jimin to speak, Yoongi couldn't take it any more and growled angrily as he pushed his father in the chest. Yoongi spoke hatefully as the man staggered back. “I told you to take your hands off him! Of course I'm telling the truth, I won't lie about it, I love Jimin and I'm mated to him, that's why I did it unannounced, because I knew about your disgusting reactions. I did it so that no one could stop me. Now stop interfering in my life and mind your own business. That's all I ask of you.”
It was the first time his father had ever seen his eldest son use force against him. And not only that. His son stood before him and told him that he loved an Omega. “What does someone like you know about love?” He said, looking at him. “How did you convince him?” He turned to Jimin. “How much did he give you?”
How much did he give you?
“Did you found him in the dumpster?” His mother said, huffing in frustration. “You couldn't find anything worse! Great Eloa, what have I done to deserve this?”
Jimin chewed his lip as he started to tremble, the tears hard to control. Just then Yoongi growled again. “That's enough, you can't talk about my Omega like that. Junhee, take Jimin to the big room and take care of him.”
When Junhee quickly came out of the kitchen, Jimin didn't mind her taking him with her. He didn't want to object anyway. He just wanted to be alone and cry. So much had happened. His heart skipped a beat when his Alpha's hand rested on his cheek for a moment just before he left. “Don't be afraid.” He whispered in his ear. “I'll be right back.”
He kissed his dirty hair before letting him go. Jimin stopped for a moment. What kind of game was this? How was he supposed to get used to it?
Distracted for a moment as the Beta took his arm and led him up the wooden stairs, the young Alpha turned towards his father. He noticed him coming towards him, but it was too late to avoid him. A hard punch landed on his jaw, sending him staggering into the wall. Luckily, Jimin had not seen it. For a moment he was dizzy from impact of the punch, but after a few seconds he recovered and blocked the second punch by sliding to the side. There was a rumble in the living room and Jungkook quickly stepped between the two. Her mother and Yuri were horrified.
“Come on, are you crazy? Dad! For Eloa' s sake!” Yoongi laughed as Jungkook grabbed his father's battered body and pulled him back. He wiped the blood from his busted lip with the back of his hand. “I'm not afraid of you. Understand that now. No matter how much you beat me. One day this will all change, and when that day comes I will do everything I can to see the look on your face. You will no longer interfere in my life! Be as ugly as you want.”
“Hyung shut up!” Jungkook said.
“Let go of me!” The big alpha tried to get out of his son's hands. “I said let go! I'll show this rascal his place!”
“Let go Jungkook. I'm used to it.”
“Hyung, please go outside, don't make this bigger than it already is!” Then he shook his father. “You calm down too. Both of you stop it, not in front of Taehyung.”
“I'm curious Yoongi-sshi... Did you choose this evening especially?” This was asked by Taehyung in red who was still sitting at the table without moving. He rolled his eyes mockingly as he raised the porcelain cup in his hand to his lips. “I think you're trying to give your mother a heart attack.”
“No, it was pure coincidence. They should have thought before inviting my future wife's family home without telling me.” Yoongi said. “Right, Dad? But it's good. Kill two birds with one stone. We don't have to talk to them separately.”
Jungkook sat his father on a chair while he is holding his heart. “Hyung. Please...” He looked at his father and walked over to his Hyung, then took his arm and started to lead him towards the exit. “Go and calm down... Or, I don't know, go to your Omega.” He looked at him questioningly, Jimin was the Omega he had seen in the cabin and of course his questions had piled up. “I'll question you later.”
Yoongi wanted to leave, he had no more patience for this night anyway. As the pain in his stomach was getting higher and higher, he slipped out of Jungkook's arm and raised his finger threateningly at the table. “Your problem is with me. Stay away from my Omega, don't use him to take revenge on me, he's not guilty of anything. I'm leaving now, and when I return, you'd better accept that fact. Better for me to mate with an Omega I like than to marry one I don't and make life miserable for us all, isn't it?” He wiped the blood from his lip as he headed for the exit. “Enjoy your meal.”
After walking past Jungkook to the entrance hall, he quickly slammed the door and left the house. He could not bear to see his family or his mate looking at him with pity.
–
Notes:
*bts- crystal snow
poor jiminie 😖 Things will get better for him, just trust me. 😇
I hope you've enjoyed the chapter ..🌟 remember leave kudos and comments pleaseee, let me know what you think about this fic. I'm curious 🧍🏼♀️
Chapter Text
7- "Break my soul in two looking for you but you're right here. If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to?"*
Feeling suffocated, Yoongi left the house and walked with shaky steps towards the exit door on the right. In the dark, desolate darkness of the night, he started walking. He hadn't been on the road for more than a few minutes when he stopped in the middle of a neighbourhood of one-storey huts with a creaking sound in his ears. His attention was drawn to the sound coming from his right. This was a small park area built for the children of the pack and usually no one came here on the coldest days of winter. Yoongi watched the iron swing in the moonlight for a while. It creaked as it swayed gently in the wind. And a moment later, his feet, which had no idea where they were going, led him to this very spot.
Just like when he was little, he found himself back in the same place. He walked aimlessly with his hands in his pockets, sweeping the pile of snow with his hand before sitting down on one of the two-seater swings. The air was so cold that a white cloud formed as soon as his breath escaped his mouth. He'd forgotten to take his coat with him when he left the house because he was so blinded by anger and Junhee was nowhere to be seen so she couldn't hand it to him. He tried to stop himself from shivering, thinking he wasn't cold. On some nights, when his father was angry with him, he would take off his clothes and stand in front of the door in his underwear so that he would be tamed. On such nights he had found this method. His skin was now so thick that neither cold nor pain nor any good feeling could penetrate it. His father had created an unfeeling monster with his own hands.
As he stared ahead, rubbing the tips of his boots on the frozen ground to swing the swing, his keen ears heard someone approaching. His eyes, which saw well in the dark, though not as well as other Alphas, signalled that it was his sister. The closer she came, the more certain he became. Yuri approached him with his brother's coat in his hand.
Yoongi said nothing and bowed his head again.
He needed to be alone, but he couldn't tell his sister, the most precious soul in his life. Maybe a short talk with her would change the course of the night. As a stiff breeze brushed over his skin, Yuri dropped the fur coat he was holding onto the Alpha's shoulders behind him and sat down on the empty swing to his left.
While neither of them spoke for a while, the Alpha, who could feel his sister shivering in the cold, said, ''Go inside, it's very cold. It's not good for your health.” The beta sister was the most unfortunate of the siblings in terms of health, and Yoongi would have kept her in a glass case if he could.
“Are you made of iron? It's cold for you too.”
“I have a coat, I won't be cold anymore.” He said. “Thank you” He was glad that his sister didn't talk about what had happened inside. The punch, the bleeding lip and above all the Omega he brought home.
He had brought him home with his own hands, to a hell he had no control over, a hell ruled by his father's rules. He had really done it. And he had struck a match to all the memories and burnt them to ashes. Even though it was water under the bridge, he had waited and waited in the same place all the time. Until the moment he realised that no one was going to pull him out of this ocean of sadness. That was a few days ago. He had held the hand that reached out to him before he drowned in the water, Jimin. When he was the one who had to be saved.
Yoongi didn't know anything anymore. Who he was, what he was, what he was becoming. It was obvious that he wasn't a good person. How good could a fox be? As his father had said, he was a half-assed loser who was nothing but a disgrace. He was dragging Omega into this mess with him.
Yuri spoke and began to sway slightly. “When you were a child, you would run away from home and come here, and I would run after you and rock you here until you stopped crying. How quickly you grew up. You grew up and brought a new Omega into the family.” She sniffed her cold nose. “I'm proud of you. You had the courage to do what you wanted, no matter what. You loved someone and stood by your love, something I never thought you would do.”
Yoongi wanted to cover his ears. This thing he was going through, the whole marriage game, the deal... it was the most fake thing he had ever done, but how his sister had believed it. He was fooling her. “Let's call it off." He said, his voice lost in the dark night.
“When that's all we have to talk about?”
“I don't want to talk, Yuri. I really don't. Why don't you go home?” He waved his hand in the air. As much as he didn't want to avoid her, it was obvious that he couldn't be honest with her right now. He'd be embarrassed. He would fall from his sister's grace and never recover. So he had to pretend and make himself and his sister believe that he loved Jimin. “Why don't you go and meet Jimin or something, it might be scary for him to be alone in that house.”
His sister gave him a wise smile. “Then why don't you go back to your beloved Omega?”
Yoongi was trapped in a corner and couldn't help himself, so he raised his voice slightly. “Because I have to calm down right now, I don't want to scare him, it's only our first night, Noona.”
After a short pause, his sister looked into his glowing red eyes without fear. Since Yoongi was a fox hybrid, his eyes would change colour at certain times, becoming as hot and bright as fire. Mostly when he was trapped and overwhelmed. “Do you really love him?”
There was a moment of deafening silence. He was ashamed to look at his sister's face. They couldn't make eye contact. She was so close to seeing the truth. He swallowed hard, trying desperately not to blush. “What do you mean?” He asked curtly. “If I didn't like him, would I ever bring him into this family?”
“Yoongi.”
“What's wrong?” He snapped. “Noona, I'm already in a bad mood.”
“Who understands you better than I do?" Her sister said tenderly as she took his hand and held it. “Who thinks of you more than I do? I want you to be happy more than anyone else. I pray to God every night that you will get rid of this family and build your own home, but...” There was an emptiness. “But I don't know. Maybe it's my imagination. You're right...” They locked eyes again. “Maybe I'm just surprised that I didn't know this was happening in your life.”
Ah...
They were confidants. They always had been. Yuri, who always balanced between the three siblings, still loved and cared for Yoongi the most. Because her brother was the one who needed the most care. He was the one who was bullied and excluded by his father. And most of all, he was the one who gave her life. That's why she wished that Yoongi would tell her everything, that he would give her the key to all the locked doors, that he would give her the permission to wander into the dark depths of his mind. Normally this wish would be granted. So why didn't he trust her this time?
Yoongi looked at the sky and sighed. He'd rather die than hurt her. “I must have let you down, that's all I did. You're right, it wasn't right to hide it from you... I don't know. Maybe I was trying to show you that I could do things for myself now. I didn't want to hide it from you. You're the only one I trust, Noona.”
“You haven't let me down. You never let me down. You've been acting strange lately, I should have asked you.” His sister said regretfully, pulling her hand back and resting it in her lap. “I should have raided your cabin, met the Omega if I had to. I tried to convince my parents that you didn't want to marry Yuna.”
“It was all so sudden.” He tried to cut her off, sinking into a pit of lies. “I just... I lost myself... It was like I found myself here, introducing him to my family. I guess that's what it feels like to be in love.”
The lie-soaked words stuck in his throat.
Her sister's sweet giggle echoed in the night. “You're so silly... Tell me everything. I want to know everything. Where did you meet him? What kind of person is he, what does he like, what kind of food does he like... What does he smell like?”
Yoongi's throat tightened as he stared at a fixed point on the floor and smiled bitterly. He didn't know the answer to any of these questions. He realised that he couldn't even name the smell. Betas didn't have pheromones and therefore couldn't smell, so even if he tried to describe it, he would fail. “You'll learn everything as you get to know them.”
“Come on, Yoongi!” She tapped him on the shoulder. “Are you jealous of your Omega from me?”
“It's nothing like that…”
“Look at my eyes.” The Alpha growled as she tried to grab his cheeks and tease him. “Don't, don't!” Yoongi couldn't help but growl hoarsely when Yuri's finger accidentally hit the lip his father had bruised. Yuri immediately pulled her hand away. “Oh, Yoongi. I'm sorry.”
The air suddenly felt ten times colder. The memory of what had just happened made them both feel sick. As it always did. Yuri couldn't find the strength to stop his father. She was always thwarted when she tried.
“It's not your fault.”
“I'll apologise to your Omega for what happened tonight, and I'll do my best to get him to forgive us, even though there's no explanation or excuse for my father's unreasonable behaviour, but... I think he'll get used to it.”
Sentences came out of his mouth at that moment. “Jimin is already used to it. If someone else were in his place tonight, he would have left without listening to the mating or the marriage.”
He clenched his teeth, not wanting to admit the answer, knowing that he was someone who would not have left him if he had made this offer, seeing it as an advantage.
“What do you mean? His family too-“
“He has no family.” He interrupted. “Jimin has no one.”
It was then that Yoongi realised how much he still had to be grateful for. At twenty-five, he didn't think he would still be grateful at the end of that sad night of his father's violence. He had his mother, Jungkook and Yuri. Even if they were different in their own way, they still cared for Yoongi.
“Oh...” His sister shook her head. “I feel so sorry for him. But don't worry... I'll take good care of him. His parents are dead now? Because of the wolf epidemic...”
“No. When he was a child.” He didn't know the story, he hadn't asked. He wasn't curious. He was disgusting. “He had no siblings either.”
“Life hadn't been kind to him then.”
“He was near my hunting cabin when I found him.” He decided to be honest. At least he could say that much. “The savages were about to do him harm.”
“Is he a savage?” Her sister's eyes widened in curiosity.
“No. No, he's not.” He dug his boot into a snowdrift. “He's an outcast from the pack.”
“What pack?”
“Many packs.” He fiddled with his hands, picking at the edges of his fingers. He wanted to devour himself with sadness. “Anyway. His story is not very pleasant, you know. I wanted to save him, give him a better life... maybe his...” He swallowed as his throat tightened. “I fell in love with the way he looked, the way he was resilient, the way he knew how to be happy despite everything.”
What a good liar he was.
This time even Yuri fell for it.
If he said any more he would go mad. He had to go and bang his head against the wall or forget himself. There was a creaking sound as he stood up quickly. “Okay, Yuri, you know the rest. Go home.”
“You're coming too.” She offered him her hand. “He needs you. If you love him so much...”
“'I'll come…” He said, looking away. “I'll come when I've calmed down a bit. I promise. Don't push me any further. He's fine, he's already asleep. I'll be back before he notices I'm gone.”
“Ah, Yoongi. You have to realise that running away won't work anymore, you're not alone anymore. He pointed at the house. You should think of him too, Omegas are fragile.”
“Just this once…” He cut himself off, unable to breathe.
Finally accepting, Yuri stood up and hugged him. “I hope you'll be very happy... I hope this love will make you forget all your wounds…” She wished as she rested her head on his shoulder, and Yoongi hugged her waist lightly. “Thank you, Noona. Go now, they'll be worried.”
Yoongi slipped away as Yuri walked up the path back to the house. He took quick steps, too quick to turn back, into the soju shop that had been open all night. He was out of breath and didn't care about embarrassing himself any further. He knew the village was buzzing with his name. In their eyes, he was now an Alpha who left his Omega in the middle of the night and came to drink. That was the one thing he hadn't been, and that had to be added to his identity. Fortunately, there were only two people in the small, secluded shop, so they didn't bother him. He immediately sat down at the wooden table, ordered a couple of bottles of soju and waited impatiently for service.
“What are you doing here at this hour...”
He snatched the bottle from the middle-aged man serving him, snapped. “I'm not here to talk, leave me alone.” And drank the soju as if it were water. As the bitter liquid burned his throat, he was filled with the desire to feel cleansed of the lies he had just told. Forget, forget these lies... forget everything.
Leave it all behind.
*****
When Jimin went upstairs with the Beta, the maid of the house, his mind was left behind. When the woman, whose name he had just learned was Junhee, closed the wooden door behind them, he turned his gaze to her, full of unease and indecision. Yoongi would come back to him safely, wouldn't he? He didn't like the way his father looked or acted at all. For some reason, it bothered him more when he approached the Alpha than when he touched himself.
If only they were close enough to ask Junhee. The Alpha didn't say anything. He only said that they were a difficult family, but not a bad one.
He had put himself in a very embarrassing situation and now that even the servant of this big family was looking at him with judgement, he agreed with him. How quickly he had found himself on the other side. He had always been an orphaned, unclaimed Omega, trying to serve and benefit someone, or simply observing from a distance. But now he had become the people he had watched from afar. He had the chance to become the Omega of an Alpha, to sit on a throne that no one could displace.
But if no one would love him while he sat on that throne, why would he do it?
He looked back at her complicated face. He must have looked like a real troublemaker from there. He had disturbed the peace of the family. Perhaps he had caused irreparable wounds in their bonds. At least that's what the voices that came from downstairs, from the well-lit and tastefully decorated living room, told him. The shouting didn't stop for a moment, and the noise grew louder and louder.
Yoongi wouldn't get tired of the pressure and leave him, would he? And if he did, where would he go? How would he go? Wouldn't that be the end for both of them?
A few minutes passed as he walked backwards, his arms wrapped around himself. It was Junhee who finally broke the suffocating silence. “Is it really true?” Jimin turned his head to the right and looked at her, and the Beta bowed his head, realising that she was asking something out of place. “It's not my place to ask, but...Yoongi is special to me, I'm sorry he hid it.”
“Special?” Jimin asked crossing his arms over his chest. “Special how?”
“I practically raised him...I'd be happy to see him grow up.” She shook her head from side to side. “But I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to be.”
“If that's what you're wondering…” Jimin said without looking her in the eye, as if that would expose his lie. “What you heard is true. It's not like he mated with me under false pretences.”
Ah...that was exactly what he had done...
The woman stood still for a while, looking at the Omega's mark. When this look made him feel naked, he put his hand on the seal and turned his back. When he touched the wound, he felt a tickling pain. He didn't like what he felt, so he immediately covered up. He was very tired, very dirty and completely humiliated down there.
Yoongi's parents called him trash. Was he that bad? He had cleaned up as best he could at the hunting cabin, but it would take a lot more to be worthy of them. What was done was done. Now he had to wait for the Alpha, who would be here soon to comfort him. Sighing, he took a few steps to the wooden window and watched life pass by, the gas lamps wandering in the darkness. But the view inside was more beautiful, he realised after a few seconds.
He wanted to examine this house thoroughly, to satisfy his curiosity. It was furnished with such exquisite details. It was the result of good taste. Was it his mother's work? Well... It wouldn't be his father's. He ran his full gaze over the floral wallpapered walls, the hand-embroidered curtains, the large and soft double bed, and the salmon-coloured ornate cushions in front of the fireplace that kept the room warm. On the opposite wall was a display of the grizzled fur of a huge animal.
Beta saw Jimin admiring it and said, “This is one of Hanseo Min's hunts. He hunted it for his wife when they got married and now it's on display in this big room that used to be their bedroom. You can see similar ones in many parts of the house.”
“It's beautiful" He said. If he had a real Alpha, he would do things like this too.
“Yoongi asked me to look after you.” She said after a while.
“Don't worry, I'll just sit here quietly.”
“I have to look after you, that was an order.” She said as she lifted her chin and gave him a stern look. “I'll prepare the bathroom for you.”
“You don't have to address me in a formal way.” Jimin said with a smile, he was not at all suited for such things. Besides, this Beta was older than him, maybe as old as his mother. “I am Jimin.”
“Everyone heard that.”
Had he snapped? The look in his eyes was questioning. “I'm sorry, I feel like I've caused trouble for all of you tonight.” He said, still maintaining his respect. It wasn't as if he wanted to outdo the Pope. The wisest thing he could do would be to fit in with them. It looked like it would be hard, though. Yongi's mother didn't seem very friendly, but maybe he would like him once he got to know him. Jimin thought he would be easy to like if you gave him enough time and opportunity to express himself. Or so they said. Until his secret was out, of course.
“That's your business.”
“Please don't be too formal.” He repeated, it was uncomfortable, it didn't suit him.
“I follow the rules of the house, and if you're here to stay, you'll soon learn them too.”
“If I stay?” Jimin asked with a frown. “I don't understand.”
“Chaerin-shi will explain it to you soon enough.” She averted her eyes and walked to the closed, white wooden door to her right. I'll prepare the bathroom.
Ah.... Even she didn't like Jimin very much, it was so obvious. Jimin didn't waste any time with grumbling. He stood in the middle of the room with his arms wrapped around himself. The bedclothes were spotlessly clean and he didn't want to sit there and spoil their beauty. He'd get a good night's sleep as soon as he was washed. Yoongi would be back by the time he finished.
He listened as the noise downstairs grew louder, as if something had broken. He hoped it wasn't Yoongi's heart. But if something like that happened, he would feel it. Would-he? His father and Jungkook were shouting, he couldn't understand what they were saying. He waited a few minutes, alert. There was no place for him here either, but he forced it. What other choice was there?
He wouldn't stay there any longer or Junhee would scold him. Steam hit his face as he opened the door to the room the Beta had entered. This was one of the bathrooms in the houses of wealthy families. There was a blazing fireplace in the corner and iron pipes running along the floor, carrying hot water to a bathtub of precious porcelain.
He was thrilled to think that he had never bathed in such a place in his life.
“If you close the door, it won't get cold in there.”
He quickly did as he was told and closed the door, then walked over to the Beta. The floor was covered with waterproof varnished wood. “Can I help you with anything?”
When she looked at him as if he had said something strange, he realised he had and looked away. He was not a servant. He was not a member of the household either, his position was unclear. He didn't know how to behave. Yoongi hadn't said anything. Should he hide the fact that he travelled a lot and worked a lot, including as a servant? Not being able to make the decision himself, he remained silent and made a mental note to ask the Alpha.
“I've heated the water, I'll help you undress if you want.”
Jimin shook his head, afraid she would see his flowers. His voice was a little high. “No, no! I mean... I'll take it from here.”
“Are you going to wash yourself?” the Omega smiled as her eyes widened. “Yeah... I'd like to, if you don't mind.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I'm comfortable like this.” He broke off and turned his back to the wall.
“Here are the towels and I'll put your clothes over here. We didn't know you were coming, so I could only find some unworn Beta clothes for you.”
“No problem.” He said, still smiling. She didn't know that they would be the cleanest and nicest things he could wear.
“Your Alpha will take you on a nice shopping trip.” She said as she looked at the Omega who seemed to be at a loss for words. She wondered what Yoongi saw in him. Jimin also shrank under her gaze. “Yes…” He said, although he wasn't sure. He didn't want anything more from Yoongi. “Because it was so sudden, I...”
He didn't have to continue because the Beta turned her back on him. “There is everything in this room. You can call if you need to, but for now it's best if you stay out of Chaerin-shi's sight.”
“Okay.” He said and waited until she was gone, just in case. Then he went out and locked the door.
This house couldn't take one more surprise, one more secret. If they found out he had flowers, they would hang him the moment they found out, they would use it as a big excuse to break up with Yoongi.
Even if he said that Yoongi and he were soulmates, he couldn't save himself. Maybe even his Alpha would die.
He wanted to enjoy the moment by pushing these negative thoughts out of his mind, and this time he remembered what happened downstairs. Although the doors slammed as he entered the bathroom and the argument was over. So why didn't Yoongi come? Well... He might not have been able to tolerate staying in the same place with him, of course. But now that they were mated, he had to play the game according to the rules.
He sighed sadly. How could he live alone with his flowers and his soulmate? Besides, he had a mark. All three were dead to each other, they just needed to be buried. His fingertips tingled as he touched his mark, and he wiped the steam from the mirror on the wooden wall with the back of his hand, seeing it for the first time in hours.
The mark Yoongi had given him. There was nothing more important to couples. He clenched his teeth and bit his lip, overcoming that pain as well.
The mark was beginning to turn a dark purple. Even he had given up hope that the Alpha would come and look after him. But he was sure that after the mating something would be different. Or that the Alpha would take an interest in him. And there wasn't. There was no change. He was still as cold as a stone.
He had bravely faced his family, held his hand, told them he loved them, and even saved him from his father's hands. All these things were deceptive for Jimin and he gladly fell for them. Just for a few seconds. His heart fluttered, his face flushed, then he remembered that it was all a game and came to his senses.
It would be best if he didn't get carried away. At least for now. But there was a part of him that needed comforting, his poor wolf.
One by one he began to take off his clothes, finally his underwear, and that was the last time he saw the clothes of his old life. After warming the boiling water a little, he went naked into the water and pulled his knees up to his chest. The water came up to his throat and cleansed him.
It was the best feeling in the world.
How many days had passed since he had bathed? Would he be able to bathe whenever he wanted now? This wasn't their home, they could leave soon. Once a week would be enough. Or every ten days? They were all nice.
He put his hands on either side of the tub, enjoying the gentle lift of the water, feeling warm and clean. After a while he began to soap himself, lathering over and over until his skin was spotless. Maybe then Alpha's father wouldn't call him rubbish. When he lathered up for the third time, he didn't even notice that he'd been crying, the tears being washed away one by one in the hot water. Drops of water fell from his blond hair and spread over his body.
He didn't know how much time had passed, there was no clock here anyway. But he didn't want to get out of the bath. What did he want to do? Had Yoongi come? He tried to smell him, but all he could smell was the clean scent of soap.
There was also no sound from the lifeless flowers at his waist.
What to do in this great silence? He used to be able to comfort himself, and he used to work so hard that he would fall asleep in a corner before he even had time to think. Now there was nothing to do.
It was an hour later when Jimin finally dared to get up. He reached over and wrapped himself in a light towel and dried his hair with another towel. He always dried his hair in the sun because such fine fabrics were very expensive. He could never afford it. Everything was luxurious, but he was a poor and lonely Omega.
He couldn't help but chuckle as his own scent tantalised his nose. It didn't matter if his skin was wrinkled from being in the water. It was just like when he was little, swimming in the lake with his father, staying so long that his mother had to pick them up from the shore.
A few minutes later, he put on the immaculate new clothes that had been left for him and looked at his reflection in the mirror. He wore a belted tunic in shades of grey and baggy trousers of thick fabric, also in shades of light brown. Normally he would have frozen in them, but fortunately the house was warm. He parted his wet hair with the wooden comb he had taken from his own bag. He tucked his slightly elongated fringe behind his ear. At that moment he noticed his mark again, this outfit left his neck exposed.
Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi…
He didn't know what to do with him. He was so indecisive, so cold and boundary alpha... It was as if he rarely showed his true face. It was as if life had taken him, shaken him until there was nothing left in him and thrown him into a corner.
After making sure he had left the bathroom clean, he left to find the room empty. The bed was still untouched. No matter how hungry he was, it would be wrong for him to wander into the house, so he would not leave until his Alpha came. Junhee came back minutes after he'd sat at the end of the bed in his new, clean-smelling clothes. His eyes were on the floor. “Well... Chaerin-shi asked you to go into the next room.”
“What?” He really didn't understand. “Why? It's very comfortable here.”
She sighed. “This was our lady's room. According to the rules, it was to be given to the first married Alpha and his mate. But... Our lady said she didn't think it was appropriate. So you...”
He didn't want her to struggle. Of course, he didn't expect them to accept him immediately, he didn't want to make a scene. “Oh...Sure. I see.” He stood up quickly and took his bag from the bedside table. “A room is a room... It doesn't matter to me. Probably not for Yoongi either.” He tried to smile. “We'll find out when he comes.”
“Chaerin-shi also told you to stay out of the way and not to come down for breakfast in the morning. I have to say this... Forgive me.”
Jimin's smile faded slightly as he tried to control himself and slowly walked past the maid and out into the small corridor. “Which room?”
“I'll take you.”
She whispered as they walked side by side. “If Yoongi chose you, he must know something. Chaerin-shi will find out soon, don't worry.”
What choice did he have but to hope so?
Jimin smiled weakly as he entered the much smaller room, which was also a beautiful room. It was just a bit messy, as if it had already been used. It might as well not be big at all. Anyway, they would be moving into their house soon. “Thank you.” He didn't know if he could trust Junhee. Maybe he couldn't trust anyone. His life had always been like that.
That's why he couldn't tell her, even if he was hungry. He wasn't allowed to go down for breakfast in the morning. Maybe he would starve… “This is your Alpha's room.” She added before letting him out. “He hasn't been here for a long time and he won't let us clean up.”
Jimin stood in the middle of the room with this reality. It was a simple room, decorated with mainly brown and green colours. A large bed and carved pieces of wood on the desk caught his attention. On the walls, just like in the cabin, there were hunting animals. Just like in the previous room.
He felt much more comfortable in this small room than in the other one. Perhaps the Chaerin-shi had done him a favour.
He sighed and threw himself between the dark blankets to test the comfort of the bed. It was wonderful. For half an hour, he studied the details of the room. The glowing flames of the gas lamps placed throughout, the beautiful velvet curtains and all the details that belonged to him. He had seen many Alpha rooms, but none like this. He walked over to the table and looked at it from a distance, not touching anything on it. A few sharp knives and a lot of unfinished wooden figures. Maybe his Alpha was a carpenter who made cute little things. He smiled because he liked that. He was tempted to clean this place up, but he didn't. He hadn't gotten the reaction he'd expected when he'd done the same in the hut. On the shelves against the wall were valuable boxes and beautiful books with thick bindings. He was tired of examining everything.
It was very late and his eyes were hurting. He was worried about Yoongi and sat on the old chair by the window, watching his path. When would his Alpha arrive and why had he left? Was it right for them to spend their first night apart? He had no one to ask. He pressed his hand to his stomach and smelled the pheromones surrounding the room. He hoped that his Alpha's pheromones would become more pronounced as the day went on and he would know what his scent was like. At the moment it was vague, it didn't look like anything. Maybe it was because of the vague and fake relationship between them, so their soulmate bond wasn't working properly.
Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that Yoongi was a fox hybrid. Oh, right. He wasn't just any wolf. It seemed that this situation had been very difficult for the Alpha, that it had affected every phase of his life. Otherwise he wouldn't have hidden it from everyone. Although Jimin had been in many packs, he had never seen a fox hybrid, only heard whispered stories.
He had always wondered what they looked like. He never thought that one day he would be soulmates with one of them. He bit his lip to keep from laughing as his stomach twisted with joy, not hunger this time. Despite everything, Jimin had realised how lucky and special he was and had let things go.
His soulmate was unmatched. In both senses. Is that why everything was like this? Was that why he hadn't recognised his mate? Sleep overpowered his thoughts as he licked his lips and his eyelids began to flutter, unable to keep his pale brown eyes open. But he needed to be awake when his Alpha came.
After sitting down on the sofa, he noticed a thin, hand-knitted brown blanket on the cushions on the floor, probably covered by the Alpha, he was cold because the fire in the room was not lit. After throwing the blanket over his shoulders, he felt happy and safe. As his scent spread with this unexpected feeling, he panicked, but he couldn't help it. Just then, he heard the door handle being turned and his eyes fell on it.
A moment later, Yoongi entered with his tired body. He stared at the Omega's face for a while, as if he was surprised to see him there. “What are you doing here?” He asked, letting out the breath he was holding in while frowning. Jimin folded his hands in front of him as his eyes looked at her as if she was seeing him for the first time and explained. “Well... Your mother thought it was appropriate.”
“What? I told you to go to the big room. You're not supposed to be in here.”
“I'll tell you if you let me.” Jimin said, swallowing all his resentment. So the Alpha had planned to sleep alone in his room tonight. Well... the smell coming from the Alpha made his nose itch. The Alpha seemed to be very drunk. On their first night. He looked at the clock on the wall. It was five in the morning.
“I'm listening.” His hand on the handle of the door landed next to him.
“I've already come from the room you mentioned.” He touched the clothes he was wearing. “Junhee prepared a bath for me to wash and gave me clothes. Then she asked me to come out of that room. Your mother... Ordered it. That's what she said. She didn't want us to stay in the big room.”
Jimin was startled when Yoongi laughed mockingly, ran his hand through his hair and slammed the door behind him. “She's testing me in her own mind.”
“What?”
“It's nothing.”
“What happened to your lip?” He asked, unable to take his eyes off the wound. Even in the dim light, he was saddened to see that the bruise on his face and the corner of his lip had split. He would have taken good care of it if he had let him.
“It's no big deal.” Yoongi said as he walked past him.
“I'll get some ointment, it'll help.”
“I don't want to.”
“It doesn't work that way. Are you always going to be the one taking care of the wounds?” As he asked this, there was a crack in the Alpha's eyes as he looked at him, but it only lasted a moment. “I told you I don't want to.” Yoongi looked over his shoulder at the Omega as he took off his coat and threw it on the couch. “Why are you still awake?”
“I was waiting for you.”
“Why did you wait?” Yoongi was really surprised, after all it was arranged and now that they were mated there was nothing left to wait for. “Did my mother order this too?”
“No. I haven't seen your mother. She didn't speak to me. I just... I wanted to wait. You had a bad night. Maybe...”
“We had a bad night.” Yoongi corrected.
“I didn't think I was going to have a good night anyway. It's all right.”
“I'm sorry for them. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
Jimin's eyes narrowed as his lips parted in disappointment. “What are you trying to say?”
“I'm saying that you went to a lot of trouble to wait for me. Doing things I didn't ask you to do and expecting something in return. You don't need to wear yourself and me out.”
Omega took a deep breath and pulled the blanket over his shoulders, then stepped in front of the Alpha and gave him a good scolding. “You told me to play a realistic game, but on the first night we were together, you left your Omega alone and went off to get drunk, which you were brave enough to stand up for in front of your family. How can your family believe that you love me, of course they'll stand in front of me and say that I'm with you for the money.” He was silent because he would cry if he continued.
There was some truth in what the Omega with the sparkling eyes was saying, but he couldn't bear it. He could not bear the truth. He could not enter this web of lies that he had built with his own hands. “We are not married yet.” He said as he sat on his bed. “It's not our wedding night either. So it doesn't matter. Besides, my family can think what they like now, we're mated.”
“Does that mean you can just leave me hanging?”
“I am not going to leave you hanging.” When Jimin didn't make a sound, he continued. “What's wrong? Besides, I left you alone. We've been in the same house for days, what are you going to do with me?” He was too tired to say more. He had entered the room without even washing his hands and face, his plan was to sleep here alone. He couldn't believe his mother. She had let Jimin in on purpose, knowing that he didn't want anyone in his room. To play with his nerves and test him. But he wasn't going to be fooled, if that's what she wanted, he would start accepting things that would normally make him uncomfortable and angry. He didn't bother taking off his thick shirt and turtleneck, letting his hair down and tossing his hat into a corner before lying down on the bed. He was not cold at all because of the soju he drank.
After a moment Jimin noticed that he had fallen asleep, but for him the conversation was not over yet, but who cared about that. His explanation made sense. Maybe he was right. Maybe Jimin had expected him to do things he couldn't.
He should have gone to sleep as well. Besides, the Alpha didn't need any attention, so there was no need to wipe the dried blood from the corner of his lip. Not when all he wanted to do was heal his wounds. It had been a very difficult day and his mark, which had begun to hurt after washing, had begun to hurt again. Everything hurt him. With nowhere else to sleep, Jimin walked over to the empty part of the bed and slowly crawled under the covers, afraid to wake him. If he could, he would leave now and sleep in another room, but he wasn't allowed to. So he swallowed a few times to get rid of the lump in his throat and curled up on his side next to the Alpha, putting his hand on his cheek like a pillow.
The first time they slept in the same bed was not at all what he had imagined. A drunk and angry Alpha.
He watched his sleeping face for a while. How his face changed to a calm and gentle expression when he closed his eyes. His lips, too small and too sweet for an Alpha. Her red hair, like fox fur, scattered all over the pillow.
I wish it wasn't like this.
*****
Yoongi was the first one to wake up in the morning. No matter how much he drank at night, his body was stronger than he thought, he could always get up at the same time. After waking up and bathing for half an hour in the bathtub Junhee had prepared, he put on clean clothes and went back to his room. Breakfast was ready in half an hour, so it was exactly eight o'clock. The sun had come up an hour earlier.
Thinking back to last night, he knew he hadn't been a very good mate. In fact, he was a disgrace. Whenever he fought with his father, he distracted himself and tried to dull the pain. It was an utterly pathetic method. The guilt burned inside him, he couldn't even remember what he'd muttered to the Omega who'd been waiting for him all night. But he knew that he'd upset him. Was he going to upset Jimin, as if his family wasn't enough?
He continued to dry his hair with a dark towel and entered his room to find Jimin still sleeping. He was huddled in the corner of the bed, using his hand as a pillow. He didn't understand why Junhee hadn't come to wake him up. He cleared his throat and called out to him. “Jimin.”
He must have misplaced his voice because the Omega didn't even move. He should have been on the left side of the bed at night and he didn't even have a pillow. He wanted to blame Junhee and his mother for that, but he didn't want to prolong it. Fortunately, his days in this house were limited and he would be able to move into his own house after the wedding. He would be a happier Alpha now.
He repeated his name. This time he was closer. How heavy his sleep was. Jimin. He touched the Omega's shoulder with his hand and quickly pulled it back. On the third try, the Omega mumbled “Five more minutes…” And pulled the blanket over his head.
Yoongi almost smiled.
“Breakfast time.” He said and sat up. “You can't eat if you miss it.” Besides, they hadn't been able to eat last night. Had Jimin eaten anything while he was gone? Maybe the Omega was right. He had neglected him, as a mate, as a human being. He regretted playing this game from the very first day. Like everything else, it was a sign of failure, just like his father had said. He gritted his teeth and watched the innocent little face of the Omega. When he sighed in distress, the Omega blinked his eyes and woke up. “Yoongi?” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Jimin.” He quickly looked away and cleared his throat. “You're finally awake.”
“I'm sorry.” After scanning the room with his sleepy eyes, he nodded quietly. “Did you just say... Breakfast?”
“Yeah. We have to get off in ten minutes, we're late.”
Jimin opened and closed his mouth, then sat up and looked at him. “But we can't.”
“What can't?”
“I can't come.”
Yoongi was surprised this time. “What do you mean?”
“Your mother didn't want me to come. You go and eat.” He turned and felt his stomach.
“I won't do that.” He said angrily. “What does that woman think she's doing?”
“Nevermind, don't cause any trouble.”
“Who told you that?” He pressed.
“Junhee.”
“And did you eat yesterday?” For some reason, the Omega's pheromones were very weak and his colour was pale. He must have been exhausted from the mark. He wanted to take him to the healer today and get some herbal remedies to solve his problem. Jimin shook his head from side to side in answer to his question. “Shit!” The Alpha said, getting angrier and angrier. “Have you been hungry all these hours?”
“Your mum... Didn't want me wandering around either, so I couldn't go to the kitchen...”
“Junhee…” the Alpha said through clenched teeth. Why didn't she help the Omega? He was going crazy, couldn't he trust her too? “Yoongi.” the Omega said and stood up when Yoongi stormed out of the room. “Don't get angry.”
He was right. But he wanted to get angry. He turned and grabbed Omega's wrist. “We're going down.”
“But I can't…” Poor Jimin said and tried to pull back. “They'll be angry with me.”
“If she's the mistress of this house, then I'm the eldest son, everyone knows their place!”
“Yoongi really...”
They argued for a few minutes, and even though he was finally convinced, Jimin didn't want to go to dinner in this state. He tried to tidy up for about ten minutes, soothing his soap-smelling hair and putting on the classic beta hairpins Junhee had given him. “Come on now...”
“Okay, I'm coming.” Although he was very happy to have his Alpha behind him, he was also worried. They were sure to say that he had gotten into the Alpha's head on the first day. Yoongi held his hand as they walked down the stairs together, there was no trace of the man from last night on his face. Jimin forgave him immediately, his Alpha who didn't even know he was hurt.
As they walked down to the family already sitting at the table, Jimin tensed. All faces were turned towards them again, this time without Taehyung. Was that the reason why the two chairs were empty? Or had they taken Jimin into consideration?
“Good morning everyone.” Yoongi said with a sour frown. Then he pulled out a chair for Jimin. “Sit down dear.”
Oh… Dear. How artificial it felt, like it shouldn't be.
“Good morning.” His beta sister said with a smile. She was right next to the Omega, so she held out her hand. “Yoongi must have mentioned it, but let's meet. Last night... It was a bit fast. I'm Yuri Yoongi's older sister. Nice to meet you, sweetheart.”
Did Jimin hear right? After looking at Yuri's face for a few seconds, he realised what he was doing and shook her hand. “Oh...Sorry. Yeah...Well, I'm Jimin.”
“Oh, you're so cute.”
Jimin blushed, “Thank you.”
It was Chaerin who interrupted the nice moment. She scolded her daughter. “Yuri, you look so happy.”
“Yoongi being happy is enough to make me happy.” Yuri replied.
Jimin stared at the shiny fork and spoon in front of him when he looked up, was Yoongi happy? No, all he saw when he looked at her was sadness. He took the matter into his hands before the tension in the family dropped any further. “I will do my best to make him happy.”
No one answered. Chaerin looked ahead with the same sullen expression while Yoongi's father went through the papers in his hand. When he looked at Jungkook, who was sitting in the chair next to Yoongi, he found the young Alpha looking at him out of the corner of his eye. He was eating his kimchi.
Nothing could ruin his appetite. As he moistened his lips with his tongue, he took a piece of omelette from the plate in front of him and put it in his mouth. Chaerin glanced at him as he chewed. When their eyes met, Jimin chewed quickly. “Your omega seems to be as ignorant of table manners as he is of dress code.”
Looking at Yoongi, Jimin saw him staring calmly at the porcelain plate, cutting tiny slices. “He'll learn.” He said nonchalantly, but then, realising he was in the family circle, he grabbed the Omega's hand on the table with a quick glance. “Besides, he can eat however he wants.”
“He can't.” She protested. “If he wants to be a member of our family, he can't behave like a lower class person...”
Yoongi didn't answer this time. Jimin looked at their joined hands on the table, how well his hand covered his little hand. “I'm sorry.” He cleared his throat. “I'll find out everything.”
“Wherever you're from, you don't even know that much.” She complained. “Besides, I told him he had no place at this table. He seems to have no pride. Yuna was so noble and educated.”
Yoongi quickly put down his fork and the table rang. “Enough! Jimin is my mate and has as much place at this table as anyone else. You better understand, mum.”
Jimin tried to ignore it, no, there was no Yuna anymore, there was only him. He was Yoongi's mate, even if they didn't like it. And as for his place at the table... he didn't know. He could follow their rules for now, that was fine. Still he remained silent, feeling his Alpha's hand. He ran his eyes over the plates of the other family members, studying how they ate. He had never used this thing called a knife before. For minutes he tried to take it in his left hand and use it with a fork. In the end he was still hungry. Because Chaerin called Junhee. “Dinner is over, you can clear the table.”
“Jimin hasn't finished eating yet.” Yoongi snapped.
“He should have. I'm not going to change the dinner rules for him.” She turned to Junhee again. “Pick it up.”
Junhee started to clear the table and picked up his plate, which he hadn't even finished half of. “Thank you.” Omega said, leaning back in his chair, his stomach rumbling with sadness. “It was very good. I was already full.”
But Yoongi must have been angry too, because he stood up with a grunt and reached for Jimin's hand after he had quickly pulled the chair back. “Come on.” the Alpha said when he had no choice but to get up and pulled him roughly. “We're going.”
“Where are we going?” He couldn't even wipe his mouth, barely holding a napkin in his hand as they stormed past his parents and headed for the door. Yoongi couldn't hear him, he was raging like a storm again. When they opened the door and walked out, Jimin looked around but couldn't see his shoes. His torn boots were not among all the beautiful and shiny shoes. So he went out in his thick grey socks. “Yoongi-my shoes-“ But Yoongi didn't hear him. He kept on walking fast, pulling him along.
“Yoongi-“ He tried his luck again. “What happened? Why did we get up like that?”
“They're treating you badly Jimin, can't you see that? Don't be so naive. “ He stopped and looked at him with a frown. “Besides, weren't you hungry yesterday? I'll take you to get something decent to eat.”
“It's okay, I think we should follow the rules, at least for a while.” The Alpha rolled his eyes and continued on his way. Jimin tried to catch up with him. But after a moment he tripped over a snow bank on the ground and stumbled to the ground.
Yoongi finally stopped pulling him and bent down. He hurriedly said, “Are you okay? Did something happen?”Jimin quickly recovered and stood up while Yoongi shook the snow off his knees and realised that he had no boots on his feet. “Jimin, what are these, your shoes?.... Are you crazy?”
Jimin blushed as he looked down at his dirty feet. “I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. My boots...” He sniffled quickly, he was so cold. “I think they threw my boots away.”
“Fuck…” Yoongi whispered. How could he be so blind and careless, he was so angry with himself. He rivalled his father in his anger. He hated it. “We'll sort it out.” He said, trying to stay calm. “I didn't realise, I'm sorry.” He didn't want to take his anger out on this innocent Omega. But he wanted to destroy them, the people in that house. Why were they so evil? Why, instead of rejoicing, were they making the Omega's life miserable because they didn't get their way?
And they were just getting started.
“It doesn't matter.”
“No, it does. I'll be more careful from now on.”
“Okay…” Jimin agreed, it was sad when the Alpha got angry and then calmed down and took it out on him.
A few hundred metres from the market place Yoongi took the Omega in his arms without question and held him tightly around the waist and below the knees. Jimin threw his arms around his neck to prevent him from falling. His eyes were wide. Snowflakes stuck to his hair from the fall. “What are you doing?”
“I'm carrying you.” He said as he stopped looking at him and started walking. “You're not going to walk like this.”
“Are we going to find my boots?” He asked, surprised.
“It's not like those boots have any place to wear.” Jimin was silent as he sweated. Yoongi guessed from his silence that he was hurt. “Let's get you a nice pair of boots.”
Jimin sunk his teeth into his lip and suppressed a smile. He leaned his head against the Alpha's shoulder so that the Alpha wouldn't see him, so that he wouldn't have to look anyone in the eye or face judgmental looks. He noticed that Yoongi stiffened as soon as he touched him, but he didn't move his head. At least he should get used to these touches in public. Besides, he used Jimin when he wanted to. He held his hand, looked into his eyes and called him his mate.
After a few minutes he gave in to his curiosity, lifted his eyes and looked around. They had arrived at what they called the market. It was early, so most of the tents were empty. There seemed to be everything he could imagine in this place where many tents were lined up side by side. He was full of excitement. Just then, the Alpha carrying him in his arms entered a tent. It was a large tent, lit by candles and filled with all kinds of cloth, shoes and clothes.
A young man, whom he recognised by his scent as a Beta, appeared and put his hands to his face. “Oh my God, Yoongi. It's true what I heard. You have an Omega! I can't believe my eyes...”
“It's like you didn't spread the rumour…”
“Well, I wasn't wrong.”
“Stop talking and help us.” Yoongi put the Omega on his lap on a stool in the corner and Jimin sat down. “He needs a pair of boots.” The Alpha said, looking at him.
“He?” Beta grimaced as he walked over to the Omega. “Doesn't he have a name?”
Jimin's cheeks turned pink as he shook the hand of the Beta who reached out to him. He was the liveliest, happiest Beta he had ever seen. He was dressed in unique clothes, with a green feathered hat on his head and black curls peeking out from underneath, completing his style. “Hello, I'm Jimin.” He said admiringly.
“Ah! Jimin. I'm Jung Hoseok, honey. I run one of the biggest clothing stores in this beautiful market. It's so nice to meet you.” He leaned slightly against his ear. “It's great to meet an Omega who melts his icy heart, tell us your formula sometime.”
Jimin looked away and tried to smile. Melt it? He had frozen his heart even more.
“Let's get you some boots.” He leaned over and touched his foot. “…And change your socks. They don't work so well anymore.” He murmured. He had never asked why he had socks, he liked that beta. So many people had judged him by his appearance.
“Sorry…” Jimin said quietly as Yoongi stood impatiently with his hand on his waist. Hoseok went to the shelves across the street to find a pair of boots for him. “I'll get you in trouble too, you can go if you want...”
When Hoseok returned, he didn't have to answer. The Beta bowed to the Omega with several pairs of boots in his hands and began to show them to him. The first was brown, with shiny leather and feathered ankles, just the latest fashion. The rich Omegas in his last pack always wore boots like that. It tickled him and he reached out to stroke the soft wool on the ankle of the boot. “Do you like it?” Hoseok asked happily. His eyes were almost shining because he was helping him. Because Yoongi was his dearest friend. And he longed for the day when he would find happiness again.
“It's beautiful.” He said simply.
“These are very fashionable now.” He chuckled. “Your Omega has good taste.”
“Give him what he wants.” Yoongi said and walked towards the exit of the tent, “I'll be outside.”
Jimin caught the Beta as he watched the room he left. “The usual Yoongi…” He said with a smile. “I'd have thrown a boot at his head if I didn't know he had a soft heart inside.”
When was he going to see his soft heart? He nodded anyway. “Yes.”
“How did you find this?”
He looked at the other boot. It was as stylish as the other. It had clearly been made for the Omegas who were more likely to go out on house calls and to the market than for the Omegas who worked in the open air. It was flawless, with a glittering buckle at the ankle and a slight heel. “Isn't there anything more practical?”
“It's more important to be stylish! What are you going to do, work in the fields?” Jimin was silent, his eyes fixed on the clothes spread all over the tent. “Let's get you some clothes too.” Hoseok suggested when he realised that he was admiring them. Jimin shook his head from side to side. “No... I don't want to, but they're beautiful. Do you sew them?”
“Yes, I do. They are perfect for a beautiful Omega like you. What do you mean I don't want them? They'll be my wedding present, I'll put them in your dowry.”
“Wow.” He clasped his hands between his knees, his heart skipping a beat at the thought of him wearing all that fancy, expensive fabric. “You're very talented.”
“Call me Hoseok Hyung. How old are you, by the way?”
“Twenty.”
“Ah! Now you should definitely call me Hyung, I'm exactly four years older than you, Caterpillar.”
“Caterpillar?” Jimin asked with a mischievous frown. No one had ever called him that before. “Do I look like a caterpillar?”
Hoseok let out a big laugh. “You're just a little caterpillar, you'll soon turn into a beautiful butterfly. Around here I call unmarried Omegas caterpillars.”
“I hope I turn into one soon.” Jimin murmured, happy to hear that. Maybe then Yoongi would be fascinated by his impressive wings and stop flying around fire.
“You're so beautiful.” Jimin was surprised when Hoseok said after examining him for a while.
“Me?”
Hoseok touched the Omega's chin with his hand, a light, gentle touch. “Yes, you.” The Beta said as Jimin blinked. “But... Why are you so sad?”
“I'm not.” He cut him off. “What makes you think that?” He patted the boot in his hand, no one should have suspected that their marriage was a setup. “I'm very happy... on the contrary.”
"His parents are a pain in the ass, aren't they? Ah...Those Min's. They're a pain in the ass for the whole pack. But Yoongi is different.”
“Do you love him?” He asked curiously. He really needed to see his Alpha through someone else's eyes.
“Very much.” Hoseok said. “I love Yoongi as much as you do.”
Jimin was lost in thought. Did he love Yoongi at all? He loved his soulmate.
They both fell silent when they saw the Alpha come into the tent. Jimin waited while Hoseok got up and went to make a package for all the boots Jimin liked. “Do you like them?” Yoongi asked with his hands in his pockets.
“Yes.” Jimin said, looking at the black boots at his feet.
“Let me help you put them on.” Knowing that Hoseok was watching them, he forced a smile and bent down to unlace his boots. Jimin took off his old socks to put on the new ones the Beta had given him. He was surprised when Yoongi took the new socks from him, but that wasn't the end of it. He bent down and gently put the white woollen socks on his little feet and then pulled the boots over his feet.
“That's it. Go on.”
Jimin stood up happily and made two or three rounds around the tent. Then he looked back at his Alpha, “They are very comfortable.”
“Let's get a coat. A thick coat.” The Alpha turned to Hoseok, “Show him the best.” and Hoseok disappeared with a jump.
“No need.” Jimin tried to say, but he knew that if he wanted to please his family, he had to blend in and look noble. He knew from the first moment that if he was going to take a Min surname, he had to look the part.
Seeing that Yoongi got bored when Hoseok came back with some options, the Omega quickly chose one and put it on. He looked just like the noble Omegas. His reflection in the mirror was funny to him, but he couldn't help but be impressed and put his hands in the pockets of the coat.
“If you like it, let's go.”
“Yeah. Okay, sure. I like it.” He said quickly.
“You didn't even look at the other options -" Hoseok's voice was cut off by Yoongi's stern look. “We'll come back later.” Pulling a bag of gold out of his pocket and handing it to Hoseok, he whispered without his omega hearing. “You can start preparing the wedding clothes.”
Hoseok nodded happily and hugged Jimin, who was wearing his brown wool coat and black boots. “Have a nice day, my love. I'm waiting again... Find me as soon as possible.”
“Thank you, Hyung.” He felt safe as he returned the hug. He was glad to know him.
As they left the tent, Yoongi took his hand again and wrapped his cold fingers around it.
“Hyung, huh?”
“He told me to call him that because I'm young.”
Yoongi changed the subject. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yes. Honestly, I've never had such comfortable boots before. I really appreciate it. I'd like to pay you back as soon as possible.”
“Don't bring that up again, Jimin.” He snapped at him. He tried to keep a straight face as they made their way through the crowd. “We are married and no one is asking you for money. It was enough that you agreed to this arrangement. You must be hungry…” He said. He pulled his Omega in front of him and made it comfortable as a group of several Alphas walked towards them. “Come and have a meal. They make good ramen at the pack inn.”
Jimin laughed softly. “For a moment, I thought you'd never ask me... I'm so hungry.”
He held the door open for him and waited for him to enter. “I'm sorry about my mother's behaviour. She's very particular about mealtimes.” And suddenly he found himself opening up to him. They were already seated at a small table to the right. “It's nothing special for you. I've gotten up from that table many times hungry.”
While Jimin waited anxiously for his order, he studied the Alpha with all his attention. “She seems to be someone with strict rules. I've met such ladies before... that's why it didn't seem so strange.”
“You've met a lot of people.”
“Thanks to my rejections.”
“How could you be so careless?” He asked, unable to control himself. He drank the soju the young Beta had placed in front of him. There was no glass for the Omega. Even in their pack it was frowned upon for Omegas to drink alcohol. He didn't even know that. So he signalled to the Beta. “Let's have another glass.”
Yoongi continued his question under the Beta's strange gaze. “After all your experiences and bad experiences? What happened last night didn't affect you much either.”
Jimin leaned his elbows on the walnut table while he shook his head from side to side. “I didn't say it didn't. It's just that only I can decide which emotions rule me. Let's just say I enjoy it instead of giving in to sadness and anger. I've trained myself well to do that.”
When Beta came with two plates of vegetable and chicken ramen, some beef jerky and kimchi and an empty glass, Omega looked at the food with bright eyes. Yoongi poured half of the soju bottle into a glass and put it in front of Omega. Seeing this, Jimin's eyebrows raised. “This isn't mine, is it?”
“Why not? Don't you want to try it? You've travelled so much, it's a waste that you haven't tried it yet.”
“But if your family finds out... Won't you get in trouble? Look, even the Beta is giving me the evil eye.” Jimin said nervously as he nibbled his lip and looked around.
Yoongi took another sip and shrugged his shoulders. “Luckily you're my Omega and not theirs. That means that only I can interfere with you and usually even an Alpha can't interfere with his Omega. Drink up. They won't say anything, don't worry.”
“Well, if you say so…” Jimin was surprised but he liked what the Alpha had said. He had pretended to care about him and was not acting. Excitedly, he picked up the small glass. After a quick sniff of the soju, he downed it quickly without thinking. But it wasn't right to drink so much at once, so he made a face and felt like throwing up.
Yoongi also had a fit of laughter on his face. “What are you doing? You just meant to take a sip.”
“For Eloa's sake!” Jimin said tearfully. “That's disgusting, why didn't you tell me?”
“You didn't ask.”
“No wonder the Alphas are so cold.” The Omega muttered. “Everything in the person who drinks it dies.”
Yoongi buried himself in the ramen, trying not to show that he was offended. He shoved the thin, hand-rolled noodles into his mouth. “Do you think all Alphas are the same?” He couldn't help but ask.
Jimin pushed the half-full glass in front of the Alpha. He was sure that he would never put the soju in his mouth again. “The ones I knew were all like this.”
And where am I? He wanted to ask, but stopped himself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know. All he knew was that Jimin was much more colourful than he seemed. It was the first time he had sat down and talked to him so freely and without realising it, he had taken a different tone.
He couldn't understand why he had been disliked for so long. It was unbelievable that he had been disliked and excluded. Perhaps he was excluded because he was not lifeless and boring like the other Omegas.
Ah... He never knew. He didn't care, he shouldn't have cared.
They spent the remaining ten minutes eating in silence. A few people who had come to the ramen shop approached them and tried to talk to them. But none of them stayed long as the Alpha left them unanswered. Jimin was curious, a little worried. He watched the people from a distance, trying to gauge their reactions.
“Don't worry.” He said as he took the gold coins out of his pocket and put them on the table. “People's evil looks stop like a knife when we tell them about the wedding. They begin to look forward to the wedding. Packs are like that.”
“Will there even be a wedding?”
The Alpha stood up. It was nice to see him in the pack with his hair down, because Jimin liked to look at his orange hair and thought that this colour gave the Alpha a completely different air and warmth. “It has to be done whether we like it or not. Otherwise there will be rumours. A marriage without a wedding is frowned upon.”
“You're right...” He started to follow his Alpha. “And your brother has been waiting for this day.”
“Yes. They'll be happy now.” They stepped out into the dry cold. They noticed that the sky was turning snowy. They had to get home as soon as possible. Even if Jimin's and the Alpha's feet went backwards, there was no better place for them to go now. And it would do them no good to make his parents even more angry.
So when they walked down the snowy path, leaving the crowd behind and stepping out into the wilderness, Jimin felt a little pain. All the warm conversation, even the laughter would be cut off like a knife, replaced by the old angry and sarcastic Yoongi.
Nothing was real.
But Yoongi did the opposite and waited for Jimin to take his arm and move closer to him. “We're almost home.” He said. “Let's play this game right.”
Notes:
taylor swift- coney island
Chapter Text
8- “ Even statues crumble if they're made to wait."*
Everyone at the table was silent for a moment after Yoongi got up from the table and walked out with his Omega. As the eyes of Chaerin and her Alpha met, Jungkook leaned back in silence. So many things were running through his mind. He had talked to Taehyung after what happened last night and they had spent hours trying to find ways to break the ice between the family.
They had to play the right cards and make the right decisions to get married as soon as possible. The young Alpha, who had just turned twenty, cleared his throat and looked around at his family members. Maybe he would get some appreciation from his brother if he could get things sorted out before he arrived. He couldn't believe it though, Yoongi had always seemed a little distant from him. And he had kept what had happened a secret from him. If it wasn't for his marriage with Taehyung, he wouldn't have bothered his family so much. He would have even questioned his brother. After all, he was his brother's only sibling, so why did he hide his Omega from him and call him a stranger when they were at the hunting cabin?
They didn't trust him and that hurt Jungkook, deeply. For now, he would cover it up and move on. Like he always did.
He cleared his throat. “Mum, Dad... Well... I'm just saying, shouldn't we be a bit more reasonable? We all know what my brother went through. It took him years to get over his first relationship. We never thought he would ever love an Omega again, did we? You had no hope. But look at him now. He's mated. Why can't we just drop everything and be happy? Maybe that's why he hid it. Your reaction. You were so obsessed with him marrying Yuna that you never asked him if he wanted to marry her. I think you should think about it.”
Dohyun rolled his eyes and snorted. “If he had an Omega he was interested in mating with, he would have told me honestly. It can't be done in secret, it can't be done on the sly, what is he, a child? He's an adult now. If he doesn't think of himself, he'll think of the family.” When he slammed his hard fist down on the table, everyone at the table was startled. “If I am the head of this family, I will be listened to, period!”
“You're right…” He agreed immediately. He had to be on his good side too, for God's sake... He was fighting a war on so many fronts. “You're right, Dad. But if we keep eating each other up like this, there won't be any family left. The eyes of the pack are upon us, and you know it is not in our best interests for them to witness a family quarrel. There are people waiting to undermine us.”
The gleam in his father's eyes, even if it was only fleeting, had been recognised and Jungkook had scored a point. Yes, he had definitely struck the right note and had been strategic, he congratulated himself, pleased with himself. If his beautiful Omega was here, he would be proud of him.
Yuri supported him. “Jungkook is right. You've had what you wanted for years. You're just whining because it didn't happen the way you wanted. Didn't Yoongi tell you many times that he can't marry Yuna, Mum?”
Chaerin sighed, her eyes on the cooling food, “He did, but-“
“No buts. He's a big Alpha now. Even Jungkook has caught up. What did you expect him to do after being so involved in his life? You knew he would break out at some point. He could have done more.”
“Enough! Don't defend that sneak to me!” Her father laughed derisively. “Just like a fox. Just like a fox…”
This time it was Yuri who sighed. He was aware that his father had been fighting with Yoongi's hybridity since he was born, and every time Yoongi misbehaved, he would hurt him by claiming that he was a fox. ‘He's not a wolf, wolves don't act like this, wolves are like this... You're not a wolf.’ “Dad... You're going too far.”
“Don't tell me where to stop!”
“You won't get anywhere by shouting or punching.”
“It calms me down.” He argued.
“It's not just about you!” Yuri said, raising her voice, she was the bravest one in the family. Especially when it came to defending her brother. “How long are you going to make Yoongi's life miserable? Haven't you had enough? Look... He's getting married and going away. He'll be leaving home soon.”
The conversation was over for Dohyun. He got up from the table, grabbed his jacket and hurried out of the house. Jungkook followed his father to continue his persuasive efforts, for Yuri was like an army fighting alone on the home front.
The remaining Yuri and Chaerin looked at each other. She believed that she could somehow convince them, even if it took time. In the meantime, she was determined to do everything she could. She popped the last olive from her plate into her mouth. Breakfast had picked up where it had left off when the new couple had left the house. The intention had been to annoy Jimin. “Do you realise that what you did this morning was very rude, Mum?” Yuri brought it up before she forgot. “Taking Jimin away from the table –“
Chaerin rolled her eyes. “With all due respect, I can't bear to see that Omega. I told him the night before that he wasn't coming, but he has the nerve to-“
“Maybe he's just hungry.” She said. “And why do you say that? I think he's a pretty good Omega.”
“Oh Yuri, you're driving me mad.” She put her hand to her chest and lowered her voice. “Have you thought about what the pack would say? With a candidate like Yuna, look at the Omega he brought home! Where is his family? Why is he mating with an Alpha so quickly? Who knows where he got him from?”
“Enough…” Yuri said calmly. That was the most important thing she had learned in this house, to be patient. “Yoongi will tell you, but... Jimin's parents are dead, Mum. He had no one. Imagine how hard his life must be. Why do you make it harder for him? Is it that hard to be nice to him? Then Dad will calm down. You're just adding fuel to the fire.”
“Omega hasn't even been here a day. Don't presume, how well do you know him? Besides...” She laughed hysterically. “How much does Yoongi know? Marriage can't be rushed.”
“Didn't you run away and marry my father?”
Chaerin fell silent and averted her eyes, and Yuri knew his mother well enough to know what that meant. It had managed to seep into his mind a little. “He can't just walk into this house. Look at Taehyung and look at him. What am I supposed to tell that beautiful Omega and his family...”
“Jimin is marrying Taehyung and I'm missing it?”
“Shut up, smartass. You know what he means. What will a noble family like them think of us when they see that we've brought a stray Omega under their roof? Of course, all you know is love and romance! We built this family from the ground up. It wasn't easy.”
“Oh mum…” Beta whined. “Taehyung is madly in love with Jungkook, you know that. Is he going to give up because of Jimin? Be realistic.”
“What if he does? What if his parents back out?”
“They have been waiting for this moment since they were children. Taehyung is the only child in the family. Whatever he wants, his family does, as if you didn't know.” She rubbed her forehead. “You're making ridiculous excuses.”
“Stop defending that Omega to me. What, you were friends and I didn't know?”
“That Omega has a name.”
She waved her hand and got up from the chair. “Junhee, clear the table and make me some herbal tea, my head is pounding.”
Yuna ended the discussion and retreated to her room to rest. The events of the last two days had not been good for her health and she was tired.
Meanwhile, Jungkook walked behind his father and tried to talk to him. Dohyun wandered around the garden trying to decide where to vent his anger. He then went to the woodshed and started chopping large pieces of wood with an axe. “Dad,” Jungkook said after a while.
“Go away.”
“But dad...”
“I told you to leave me alone so I wouldn't take it out on you.”
“I don't see what you're getting at by running away.” The young Alpha crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the sill. “Are you a child?”
“Jungkook!”
“There you go. Either you scream or you break something. I'm trying to talk to you like two wolves.” He knew that the easiest and fastest way to get on his father's good side was to play dumb and scold him sweetly.
“What do you want to talk to me about?” The young Alpha smiled. His father rested the axe on his shoulder without lowering it, and turned to his son. “Oh, what else... This marriage thing.”
“Not again! Didn't I tell you not to pester me?”
“I know, but we're worried. My Omega is very worried. He wonders if what Yoongi has done will delay our marriage. Her parents will think differently if we wait any longer.”
Frowning, Dohyun asked, “What will they think?” If they went back on their word, he was finished. Taehyung was the strongest card he had now. He was the key, if he didn't love Jungkook so much, it would be very difficult. So he got serious.
“I think they're going to split us up, dad.” He made a dramatic face. “I mean, you know I can't take it. We have waited thirteen years for this moment. But to hell with your rules, we couldn't get married before my brother got married.” He blinked his eyes in excitement. “Look, now that my brother has chosen his Omega, I think we should just get this wedding over with. Hm? Wouldn't that be nice? I want to give my Omega a wedding so grand that the whole pack will remember it for the rest of their lives.”
“Are we going to celebrate Yoongi's fault!”
“I have taken the pulse of the people. No one seems to condemn it, except the old ajummas. And Yuna's family. Forget them! Everyone is happy for Yoongi. It seems to me that everyone loves my brother, they're sure he won't do anything wrong.” And so it was. Jungkook, the number two Alpha son, was always in his brother's shadow in the pack, struggling to gain favour not only with his family, but also with the warriors and rulers. There were still big holes in his life and he had not been taught how to fill them. But it was clear that his powerful father valued him. Probably everyone else felt the same way. He was the golden son. If only he could feel that way…
“Look, Dad, listen to me.” He took his father's arm. “You're going to lose Taehyung's family while you're still angry about losing Yuna's family. I'm telling you, we'll be ruined. Don't be stubborn, give your blessing.”
The great Alpha withdrew his hand in anger. “Tell that to your insolent brother.”
“All right, I'll tell him. But here I ask you.” He sighed, the task was becoming difficult. “Whatever happened, it's none of our business. Jimin seems harmless, I'm sure he's not a spy who will destroy our family from within.”
“Your brother is the real spy. He's a fox! What do you expect?”
“Come on... He's your blood father.”
He waved his hand, even he was forgetting what he knew but couldn't say. He was distorting the facts and creating truths for himself to believe.
“Look, you are being too hard on my brother. You put me in the middle.”
While they were talking, Taehyung called out. “Jungkookie, are you there?”
Jungkook left his father standing there in thought. He ran outside to find his beloved Omega standing in the doorway. As they hugged each other and stepped back, Jungkook wasted no time in breaking the news. “Honey, our plan is working, only the last part is left.”
Taehyung laughed, his eyes shining. “So I talked to my parents, my dad will talk to your dad tonight to get this marriage over with as soon as possible. Even though they didn't like the Omega your brother brought with him... I convinced them. You know they never go against my word.”
“You are the best.” He kissed his Omega's forehead. His beautiful pheromones chirped through him like the scent of a rare summer rose. “We will succeed this time.”
The Omega took the Alpha's hand and brought it to his lips, his heart fluttering at the thought of what was to come. They would marry, they had waited so long, but the end of the road was in sight. Taehyung's wait had been longer than he had ever waited for anything, he had been more patient than he had ever been patient for anything. Finally he would get his reward... “And what does your father say?”
“Well... He's angry with my brother.”
“I'll talk to him too, I'm having dinner tonight anyway.” His lip curled down. “Although I don't like the fact that the one who will be my sister-in-law is this weird Omega, it doesn't fit into the family... But your love is such a priority that I didn't even think about it.”
Jungkook held his hand after opening the door for his Omega and leading him out of the house. “I think you'll get along. You go and apologise and he'll forgive you. No one can resist you.”
Taehyung grimaced, it had never even crossed his mind. What was the reason? Was he guilty? “Excuse me? Why am I apologising?”
“That day at the hunting cabin –“ He tried to remind him, but Taehyung held up his hand. “I know what happened, I'm not going senile! He deserved it for what he did that day, okay? If they hadn't hidden all those things from us. How was I supposed to know they were playing dirty? I did what I had to do for our marriage.” He rolled his eyes, he was angry now. “And now we're the guilty ones. You're incredibly naive, Jungkook.”
“I didn't say you're guilty, honey, if you would just take it down a notch and show your greatness - that's why. And it's not necessary, I just said it. Don't be angry with your Alpha.”
“I can't take it. Enough!” His voice was raised and his nerves were on edge. Today they were supposed to go shopping at the market with Jungkook, but he was in a bad mood.
“Okay, you're right, but don't make trouble, get along with Jimin. If you get along with him, then Mom will warm up to Omega and the wedding date will be closer. Domino effect.”
“I won't get along with him.”
“You don't know him?”
Sighing, Taehyung withdrew his hand. “Honey, are we going to talk about this now? You're making me nervous. We'll think about it later... Right now I just want to plan our wedding.”
“I think Dad will accept the offer.” Jungkook said as he followed the steam coming out of his mouth.
“Finally...” Taehyung muttered as he adjusted his hat.
*****
In the evening, the whole family gathered at home for dinner. Even Yoongi had agreed to go to dinner at Jimin and Jungkook's insistence. He didn't even want to see his father's face, but he bowed to his dominance. Because he had never tried to stand up to him before. The little boy in him thought it was impossible. That he deserved all the violence and that he had to submit. Soon this suffering would be over. He would take Omega and move into his own house, and until then he could hold out. The three of them walked together into the clear night. The snow had stopped falling a few hours ago, leaving behind an icy frost.
Jungkook stepped between his brother and the new Omega. Jimin was about his shoulder height. He was proud to be one of the tallest Alphas in the pack. “Jimin, I want to talk to you. It would be nice if we could start all over again. Let's forget about the hunting cabin. I don't want you to think I'm a bad person. I'm Jungkook, I'm twenty years old and Yoongi is my big brother... And I like hunting, although I prefer fishing. Both are my favourite things after Taehyung”
Jimin couldn't help but chuckle at that. He studied his mate's approving look and quickly shook the Alpha's big outstretched hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“Do you forgive me?” He moved quickly to the Omega's side. “Hm? You do forgive me, right? I'm really sorry that we said bad things to you that day... I'm really sorry. If I knew my brother had Omega...”
“Jungkook, shut up, don't drag this out.”
“Wait Hyung, this is your first time having a mate. I'm excited.”
Jimin was excited, even happy. It was a new thing that someone was trying to make it up to him, he was always the one who was easily offended, the one no one ever looked at. He was quick to forgive those who asked for forgiveness and he wasn't even angry with Jungkook. He had forgotten everything. Besides, today had gone well. Even though the morning had been a disaster, he had fed himself for the rest of the day and bought boots and a coat. He and Yoongi were able to talk like two normal people for a short while. Maybe they would sleep together tonight, like real couples.
“Leave my Omega alone.” Jungkook muttered. Yoongi grabbed his Omega's upper arm and pulled him to his right. “I worked my ass off to get you guys accepted and look how you treat me.”
“What did you do?” Yoongi asked. Jimin couldn't help but overhear. A minute later he found out that Jungkook had talked to his father and tried to convince him to agree to the wedding. Jimin was usually right about people and I guess he was right about Jungkook. Or maybe he warmed up to him because he and his mate were of the same blood. He thought he was an honest and caring Alpha with a soft heart.
“The wedding will happen whether he likes it or not.” His Alpha replied. He was not happy, not at all. His face was still grim. His feet felt like they were going backwards, he was in no mood to go to dinner. But there was no other way. They had to go to that house. “Hyung, you can tell me how you met, can't you? I guess the story I know is not based on reality... Jimin told me something that day.”
“It all happened so suddenly.” Yoongi mumbled reluctantly. He didn't feel like acting around Jungkook, in fact he didn't want to continue this game around anyone. It was all so suffocating. “That's the way love is. It doesn't take ten years to blossom like yours.”
“What a subtle comment.”
Jimin smiled to himself again but realised that his Alpha had drifted off. Something must have been bothering him again, he was about to ask him when Jungkook spoke up. “Look Jimin, that house behind those trees...”
“Shut up!” Yoongi continued as he shushed his brother and pulled his Omega towards him, “It will be our home.” He continued. “I'll show you some other time. They say it's bad luck to enter before the wedding, Jungkook is more excited than you, don't worry.”
“And you're so calm.”
Neither of them paid any attention to Jungkook and Jimin nodded his head at the cute one-storey red roofed house that was just visible through the pine trees and played along. Ah... It was so easy for him to pretend. Because this attention was what he wanted, what he had been waiting for, what he had spent years and tears for. He took his Alpha's arm and rubbed his head against his shoulder, that kind of little rubbing was a sign of affection for wolves. “Is that so, darling? I can't wait to live there, it looks so nice...”
When the word came out of the Omega's mouth, it came as no surprise to the Omega that the Alpha had flinched completely. Had he crossed the line? No. He was playing along with this dirty game, just as his Alpha had done. He might as well get used to it. It wasn't always the Alpha who made the first contact.
Five minutes later the trio entered the house. The large dining table, illuminated by an ornate chandelier hanging from the ceiling, was covered with a variety of dishes. Thankfully, Jimin wasn't hungry this time, so he was able to control his stomach. Hesitantly, he followed his Alpha inside. He looked around the living room at the people sitting in the velvet upholstered armchairs. In the corner of the wall, the younger members of the household were perched on the same team of floor cushions. The large fireplace was blazing. “Good evening.”
Yuri replied, but his parents said nothing, their faces still grim. Taehyung, sitting in the corner, caught his eye. He was once again dressed in glittering, high-quality clothes that would make anyone jealous. His eyes lit up when he saw Jungkook and they immediately sat next to each other. “Let's go to the room, Jimin.” Yoongi asked with the anger he was trying to suppress. Jimin hesitated for a while, not wanting any unpleasantness. “You're not going anywhere.” Dohyun ordered as they were about to leave, holding his hand. “Sit down. We'll talk.”
Looking over his shoulder, Yoongi's eyes were like fire. “Talk about what?”
When his father didn't answer, Yoongi obeyed with a sigh and they collapsed onto the red velvet cushions in front of them. Jimin sat on his knees. He folded his hands in his lap, moistened his lips and did what he had been thinking about all morning. “Well, first of all... Can I say something, if I may?” His eyes were on Yoongi's mother. He could feel his Alpha's body tense against this sudden development. But he couldn't keep quiet now. He didn't want to shut up. He couldn't always act according to plan. “You never asked, but I will tell you. I never wanted to upset anyone here, I swear. But Yoongi and I really loved each other. He was everything I was looking for all my life...” He swallowed. “When I found him, I realised he was looking for me too. It was a very strong bond. So strong that it distracted us from life, even from the harsh realities of life. We couldn't resist this instinct, you know wolves... They're not easy to stop. I apologise to you all for not doing everything right. I wish we hadn't lost control so much... There's nothing to be done now, don't blame Yoongi, don't be angry with him either.” He smiled slightly as he reached for his Alpha's hand. He noticed that Yoongi was looking at him with a surprised expression that he couldn't hide. “Because we will never be separated.”
“You'd think they were soul mates…” Taehyung said, breaking the silence, and Jimin stiffened and bowed his head. How hard it was to have unspeakable words. To wait helplessly for the moment when they would grow and come crashing down on him like an avalanche.
“Are you finished?” Dohyun asked rudely.
Jimin was used to this rude behaviour. “It's over.”
“What a cheap story.” Chaerin muttered as she pressed her lips together and covered her white scarf. “How could you let my son mate with you? Do you know what they call such omegas –“
“Mum!” All three children said at the same time and the woman rolled her eyes. Jimin knew the word: Whore. But he didn't lower his face. He had made the speech he wanted to make to a soulmate who really loved him, to show that he was no coward, that his intentions were serious. He could die and not regret it. “Like I said... Neither of us thought about it. I'm not the kind of Omega you think I am, nor is your son the kind of person who would get involved with such Omegas.”
How did he know? Now he was guessing. There must have been Omegas before him, Yoongi was a handsome and rich Alpha, powerful too. Such Omegas would do anything to be with him.
“I can't listen to this nonsense anymore.”
Taehyung said, “Mom, dad... Why do you say that? It's such a romantic story. So romantic that I almost can't believe it's real.”
Unable to tell if he was insinuating or being sincere, Jimin looked at him without making a sound.
“It's nice of you to make my brother fall in love with you like that, Jimin. You've turned him into a completely different person... A very, very drastic change for someone who's been shutting himself off for years.” Yuri said with a smile.
I wish Jimin could see the Yoongi of the past. If he could master every story. It was so hard to find his way in the unknown. “I'm doing my best.”
Yoongi finally spoke. “Jimin is right in what he said. I'm doing my best to make him happy. He's the only person who can bring a smile to my face in the midst of all this misery and hardship. I hope you'll understand soon.” He said, clearing his throat. He was a little annoyed at the conversation, which was out of his control. “If you are finished, we will go to my room. My mum doesn't really like us staying in the big room.”
“Mum…” Jungkook said with a frown. “I thought it belonged to the oldest Alpha and his wife?”
“Don't mess with that, dear!” she stood up. “I saw it that way. I've changed the rules and it'll be empty for a while.”
“It's not like I don't know that you want to test me.” Yoongi scoffed. “Come on mum... I know you.”
This time the mother's blue eyes turned to the Alpha in frustration. They were hurt and offended, she didn't recognise her son. “I will not have this conversation in front of strangers."
“Not strangers.” His son grumbled. “Besides... Taehyung is no stranger.”
“Great Eloa!” Taehyung frowned. “It's your Omega.”
Yoongi shrugged amusedly. “My Omega is my blood now.”
Jimin almost giggled as he chewed his lip and squeezed his Alpha's hand as if to say don't do it. They would never be accepted like that.
“That's enough!” Dohyun raised the iron cup of soju to his mouth. “We've thought it over and decided that Taehyung and Jungkook's wedding should take place as soon as possible, no more postponements. What happened yesterday and my attitude hasn't changed and I won't forgive you Yoongi until I hear a reasonable explanation.”
“I didn't ask for forgiveness, Dad.”
“Please don't…” Jimin whispered into his Alpha's ear as Dohyun clenched his teeth in anger. He could feel his anger in his heart, but he didn't know why. “I'm sorry, go ahead.” Yoongi said nonchalantly.
“But since I'm putting Jungkook's interests first, I'll put up with it for now. Taehyung and his family are impatient too, it's a shame to make them wait any longer.”
“We are very impatient.” Taehyung agreed and interjected.
“The wedding preparations will take weeks as well.” Dohyun added. “So it's time to get down to business. But don't tell anyone for a few days. Especially you.” He said to Jungkook and his partner. “After Yuna's tragedy, wait for the public to calm down, Yuna and her family are going to the West Pack tomorrow. If I hear about the wedding from anyone before they leave...”
“No! I won't tell.” Jungkook said. “We won't tell.”
“So what are you saying?” Yoongi asked with a raised eyebrow.
“You're getting married on the same day as them. At least do that properly.”
Jimin's ears began to ring. He hadn't thought it would be that easy, after all, he had fought for a thousand years for even a crumb of the life he had left behind. “We'll just have a double wedding and get it over with.” Dohyun said annoyed. It was a total cop-out. Yoongi sighed and said nothing. But someone was upset. Taehyung. “Why a double wedding? They'll get married right away... They don't have any preparations.”
Chaerin said, “Dear, it's more sensible. We don't approve of their marriage. But not without a wedding.” She said.
“So you'll share my wedding with someone else.”
“Someone else is Jungkook's brother.” Yuri interjected with a judgmental look. “Do you have a problem with that?”
“If it's my wedding, I'll have a problem with whatever I want, Yuri.”
“No, we're not sharing weddings, we're doing something that's never been done before. Because you're unique.” Chaerin flattered him.
Taehyung sighed, unconvinced but silent for now, happy. He wanted to get married. He wasn't going to care about these little rough edges. “Alright... I can take it. It's all I do in this house anyway.”
Chaerin tried sweetly to change the subject. “Come early tomorrow so we can start planning the wedding. What to wear, what jewellery... I'll give you my family heirloom necklace.”
“Ah! The one with the emerald?”
While they talked about sharing the jewellery, Yoongi turned to Jimin and looked at him. “Luckily you have an Alpha who can fulfil all your wishes.” He said as if he wanted to tease the people in the house. “You don't need anyone.” Jimin didn't even hear him because he was still so happy. He had no eye for heirloom necklaces or clothes. And he knew that if it was an heirloom, he could not be a suitable candidate. But the Alpha resented it. “Come on, let's go to our room.”
“It's time for diner.” His mother interrupted. They were already up. “That's very kind of you, Mum. We've already eaten, we didn't want to risk going hungry this time, if you know what I mean.” That was a rule not to be broken at Min Mansion. Not to participate in the dinner. But Yoongi and his mate had lit the first fuse of rebellion without even looking back.
As soon as they had entered the small room, Yoongi let go of Jimin's hand. It was as if he had realised that he had touched the fire and went to the window with the curtains drawn. Jimin looked at his hand out of the corner of his eye. Why had he let go of it so rudely? He sat down on the end of the bed and tried not to care. “We were rude to your parents, we shouldn't have just left.”
“Jimin, why are you so naive?”
He frowned and looked at him, but the Alpha's back was still turned. “Am I supposed to be malicious? I don't get it... Look, they're even going to have a wedding for us, so let's just be grateful.”
“You don't know anything.”
“You don't tell me anything.”
“You know as much as you need to know.”
Okay.
That was harsh but he could' ve ignored it.
“Are you going to sleep?” Yoongi asked reluctantly as Jimin nodded softly and took off his knitted cardigan and laid it on the sofa.
“Yeah. Do you want anything?”
“Isn't it early?”
“Do we have a bedtime? I didn't know.” He sat back on the bed and put his hands between his knees. “I didn't know as much as I should have.”
“I didn't say that to hurt you.” He explained, turning to face him. He put his hands in his brown trouser pockets. “I don't mean it that way, and I don't have a problem with you. But you don't know my family, and you don't want to. They treat you in a way you don't deserve. They don't appreciate us obeying them, believe me. The more distance the better.” He paused. “I'm trying to protect you.”
Jimin's heart skipped a beat and his full lips parted. Could he protect him from himself? When the day came and his secret was revealed, Jimin might need protection. His shy heart fluttered, it hurt to think of that moment. ‘You're lying to Alpha’ , the wolf inside him said, and every second he dug at his wound.
“Say something.” Yoongi said without looking away.
“I believe, otherwise I wouldn't have married you. I only believe in you.”
Yoongi looked at him thoughtfully. “No one has ever believed in me so wholeheartedly, you're so strange. It's like drowning in the sea and hugging a snake in front of you.”
“You told me to believe.”
“So you have a character that accepts everything without question.”
“Let's just say I believe my feelings.”
“They say I'm a good person?”
“They say you're the right one.” His voice cracked. “To trust.” To love. To share my soul.
Yoongi's eyes flickered back and forth for a moment, then he turned away, his glowing eyes fixed on the ground. He felt a pain that made him avoid long conversations with the Omega. And he would spend a lifetime with this Omega. “You can sleep.” He said. “If you want to…” Sleep, sleep, and don't make me think. Sleep so your eyes don't make me feel naked.
Jimin walked around the bed and sat on his side. The new pillow and duvet had arrived, thank God, so he could sleep on his own pillow. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Since we're having a wedding... Shouldn't I be preparing something? For the wedding.” He didn't know anything about such things. In the packs he came from, he had heard that the Omegas prepared dowries before the wedding. He had seen small dowries a few times. But only out of the corner of his eye, from a distance.
Yoongi shrugged. “Everything will be done properly, don't worry. I won't deprive you of anything.”
Jimin nodded in agreement and lay down on the bed. If only he hadn't deprived him of his love. The thing he was most hungry for. His hunger had never been for clothes and dowries and household goods. His hunger was in his heart.
“Thank you.” He said. “And for today. And... And for the things you bought.”
The Alpha's gaze softened only for a moment as his white face returned to the shadows. “What have I done? “
“What no one else does.” Jimin lay on his side with his back to him and said, “I want to sleep, good night.” He wished that this night would end here. He just wanted to close his eyes and dream about their wedding. He waited for the day when everything would be better. When God would lift the dark clouds between them and Alpha would see the truth. Until then, this was all he could do. Wait.
“Good…” Just as Jimin was waiting for him to walk out the door, the Alpha blew out the candles that were attached to the candlesticks on the walls one by one. He didn't stop until only moonlight entered the room. Then he lit the fireplace and added a few dry oak logs. ‘He will leave now,’ Jimin thought . ‘Then he'll come back drunk in the middle of the night.’
But Yoongi didn't. He stayed, even though he didn't want to. He threw himself onto the bed without even taking his clothes off. Jimin swallowed and held his breath, noticing from the movement behind him that his back was turned. “I'll sleep too.” Yoongi said in a flat voice. “Going down without my mate might attract attention.”
Jimin nodded, even though he couldn't see it. He fought back tears, he didn't know where they came from, by closing his eyes. His soulmate was only a metre away. And it never felt that far away.
Still, Jimin clung to the little light in this darkness. After all, he had chosen to be with him tonight.
Notes:
hellooo!! I hope you've enjoyed the chapter. 🌟please leave kudos and comment!!
*the prophecy- taylor swift
Chapter 10: Dowry
Chapter Text
9- " We both did our best, under the same moon but in different galaxies."
For Jungkook, the days had become even more eventful since his brother had taken Jimin's hand and brought him home. Last night it was up to him to calm things down and appease his family after the two went to their rooms without dinner. Jungkook sometimes felt like a patch on everything, he felt that way last night, and on top of that he had gotten into a fight with Taehyung. When he had settled the argument and said goodbye to him on the veranda, Taehyung had blamed him and had pulled his warm hands away from his chest, giving him the ultimate punishment.
He had waited as long as he had for this beautiful Omega, and now he was punishing him by depriving him of himself again.
“I'm doing my best Taehyung, why are you picking on me?”
“Are you doing your best? I'm doing my best, I've been trying to explain all this to my family. They think you're stalling and it's hard to change their minds.”
Jungkook fixed his gaze on one point and waited for his Omega's anger to subside. Because it wasn't true, this was a lie to convince the Min family to get married and suddenly it had turned into a game against Jungkook. Taehyung didn't stop there. He suddenly complained about what a brave Alpha his brother was and how he protected his Omega and accused him of cowardice and then left without giving him a chance to say anything. Junkook also had a fight with his parents about this.
Yes, he was maybe one step away from getting the Omega he had been waiting for for years, and God knows he was very happy. But at the same time, something was missing. The roosters hadn't even started to crow when he woke up from his nightmare sleep. As he slipped out of the bedclothes, wanting to throw himself onto the large balcony of the house for some fresh air, he found his brother standing there, absentmindedly looking at the snow covered forest. His warm breath dissipating the moment it touched the air. It wasn't until Jungkook approached him that he noticed his presence. “Long night?”
“Looks like I'm not allowed to be alone in this house.” Yoongi said in a depressed tone. “What are you doing here at this hour?”
“I'm asking you the same question.”
Yoongi shrugged. “I'm getting some air.”
Jungkook clenched his jaw and stared blankly at the scenery before him, then brought up the subject that had been gnawing at him for days. It would be hard to find him free at any other time, his Hyung was so busy he didn't even have time for him. “Hyung... Are things bad between us?”
“What makes you think that?”
He swallowed as guilt settled in his chest. “Because we broke into the hunting cabin that day? I know we treated Jimin badly, I apologised, I know that. I regretted it when I found out the truth and I apologised to your mate, but I'll apologise again if you want...”
“Jungkook, what do you say?”
“Let me finish, Hyung. Look, yes, okay, Taehyung is very irritable and sometimes very hurtful. Do you think it's easy to keep someone like him? I couldn't keep him that day either. I agreed to go with him when I didn't feel comfortable, but I didn't want to upset you. Afterwards, it hit me hard... That look of yours...”
“Jungkook, stop it.” Yoongi frowned after turning to Jungkook who was telling him his problem with full eyes. “Are you crazy?” It was true that he was running away from Jungkook. It was true that there was a distance between him and Jungkook, but it wasn't because of Jimin or the day of the raid, even if it had slipped his mind. He was avoiding because he was lying.
To him, to his sister, to his mother... But most of all to himself.
“I'm not crazy Hyung, this is no time for jokes. I just want to go fishing like we used to, spend time... Talk, but you only do that with Yuri. And now that Jimin is here, I have two rivals.”
Yoongi laughed, really laughed. His brother was the youngest of the three and now he was really acting like it. Here was Jungkookie, thirteen years old, crying softly because they wouldn't let him in, just the way he was, with his cracked eyes and his trembling lips. He was innocent. How different he was from him. He knew how to really love, how to really hurt and feel. Everything he had was real and oh... If only he knew how lucky he was.
“Come here, you lunatic.” He grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him towards him, then pressed him against his chest in Alpha fashion. Not very successfully, as his brother was an inch taller and bigger than him, but he laughed anyway. “It never occurred to me to blame you. That day stayed that day. It's over and done with. Even Jimin has forgotten. We lied to you and we have to apologise to you. Why do you care so much?”
“But am I right...”
“You're wrong, I'd never treat you like that. You're my only little brother. You are precious. Very much. I'm very busy these days, I haven't even had time to scratch my head over the wedding preparations and the arguments.” He realised that he was getting better at lying every day.
He was afraid that one day he would believe those lies.
He was afraid that he would lose all the truths in his life and that one day lies would be the only truth.
“All right…" Jungkook said, stepping back as if unconvinced. His dark hair was dishevelled after a hard night. “Are you okay, Hyung?”
Yoongi nodded. “I'm fine.” He had to convince him, he pushed. “I'm marrying an Omega that I love. It's a completely different feeling.”
“You've been through it before.” Jungkook reminded him, even though it was all bitter memories. Because he couldn't understand how he could forget Hyuna so suddenly. He was even sceptical. How could he be mated with an Omega he had never met, yet it took him years to forget even someone like Hyuna? Was that what love was like?
“That was different.” Yoongi said with a depressed sigh. “That was different, Jungkook. I was young. I was immature and I had a guilty conscience…” For some reason, he felt like he was saying this to himself. Then he felt angry at his brother for digging up the past.
“I was little too, and because I was little, I didn't know what you were dealing with. You didn't tell me. You will not tell me again.”
He looked at his brother for a long time, his bright eyes were pale tonight and he really meant what he said. Jungkook was desperate to get involved in Yoongi's life. When Yoongi realised this, he wanted to run away because he felt he could tell everything if he stayed. His new lies… His biggest guilt…
Everything he did made him regret it. He wanted to get rid of one lie, but he was sinking into a bigger one.
“Don't make me angry, Jungkook. That time is over, it's over. I've had bad days, but five years is long enough to get over someone, believe it or not, and I'm over Hyuna. She had nothing to do with why I didn't want to marry Yuna.”
“I hope not, Hyung, I don't want you to be sad.”
“No one will be upset, but don't bring it up again, you're disrespecting Jimin.” He scolded and left the balcony, only to return home for breakfast.
*****
When Jimin woke up an hour later, Yoongi wasn't there. For some reason he stopped when it felt good. Because every moment he was close to him was torture for Jimin. Seconds stretched out when he was close to him and couldn't touch him. When he got ready and went down for breakfast, he found him at the head of the table. They greeted each other with a forced smile and mumbled something.
Since they hadn't had dinner last night, there was an icy silence again, so much so that Jimin was cold here now.
Across from him, Jungkook was in a bad mood as he chewed his egg, Chaerin noticed and muttered. “Why didn't Taehyung come to breakfast? Is he still mad at you?”
“I saw him last night, maybe he fell asleep.” He replied evasively. “You were supposed to meet for shopping anyway.”
Chaerin nodded and spread honey on her bread. Out of the corner of her eye she watched Jimin and Yoongi to her left. As the two ate in silence, Omega struggled to use his fork correctly. “It was very inappropriate of you to go to your roomwithout joining us for diner.” Caherin grumbled, rolling her eyes at his effort. “Dohyun had missed breakfast today because of an emergency. Your father was angry too. You're too conspicuous.”
“I had to.” Yoongi said as he popped an olive into his mouth. “Besides, weren't you the one who didn't want my Omega at the table?”
Chaerin rolled her eyes but didn't answer. Jimin was too busy looking at his Alpha out of the corner of his eye. Every time he defended him, every time he stood behind him, he lost another piece of his heart to this big lie. While he tried to learn table manners by trying to eat like his mate, he said, “I felt a bit sick, so I fell asleep before I went down to eat. Yoongi didn't want to leave me either, sorry.” Yoongi didn't react when he tried to make it up to her. Chaerin just shook her head from side to side and said, “Are you sick?”
This was perhaps the first direct question the Mother Omega had asked Jimin. “There's nothing to worry about.” He said, gritting his teeth to keep from smiling. I was a bit tired.
“You must have lived under much more difficult conditions where you came from, you're not used to this comfort.” The young Omega's throat tightened when he heard her sarcasm. He hadn't even told her the truth. But she knew what he was and what he could never be. He wasn't Taehyung, he couldn't be like him. “Make sure you get well in time for the wedding. I don't want anyone saying bad things about you.”
Yuri interjected. “Yoongi, did you take him to the healer?” The Alpha nodded. “I'll take him after breakfast.” Then, realising he was speaking too flatly, he looked at Jimin and tried to smile. “I have his medicine.”
Jimin had a hard time swallowing his bite, but he managed. The funny thing was that the Alpha was telling the truth. That's why this game was so painful, especially for Jimin.
After cursing himself and eating his breakfast, he and Yoongi left the house together. The subject of the healer had come up at breakfast, but Yoongi had spoken as if he had planned it for a long time. Yoongi let go of Jimin's hand as they crossed the garden and left the big gate behind them. Jimin was really limping because they had walked too much yesterday. “I should have taken you to the healer yesterday.”
“It's okay. You already took care of me.”
“Don't mention it.”
After ten minutes of walking, they arrived at a small, neglected shack outside the market. Yoongi knocked on the door, then went inside and waited for Jimin to enter. Inside was a single room filled with jars on shelves on the walls and various plants all around. A sofa made of beech wood stood in the corner and like in every house, there was a fireplace in the middle of the room. Jimin was startled when an old man with a long beard suddenly appeared to his right.
“I was wondering when you would come.” He said in a hoarse voice.
Yoongi bowed his head respectfully and Jimin found himself doing the same. “Master Jae…”
“Yoongi Min…” The man's eyes narrowed as he smiled, he was obviously a Beta, he had no scent. “You must be Park Jimin.” He murmured as he turned to Jimin. “The whole pack talks about you.”
Had they really been talking about him? “Hello sir, nice to meet you.” He said in a low voice as he clasped his hands in front of him and bowed like his Alpha again. He was nervous, not knowing what to do with him here. Healers sometimes checked the bodies. If they thought it necessary. But he couldn't take his top off, the moment he did that, it was over.
“I'm so glad that Yoongi finally followed his heart. I thought the lock on his heart was so strong that no Omega could get in.”
He thought right. He had already stopped at the door. As he swallowed and tried to smile, the Alpha stepped in and saved him. “I actually came here today to ask you something... I mean... About my mate. He has a wound on his leg. It hurts from time to time. I tried to treat it with arnica ointment, like you taught me, but it didn't work.”
The man, who had listened to the Alpha by nodding his head, held out his wrinkled hand to the Omega. “Let's have a look at you, little one.” After sitting him down on the sofa, he put a step under his feet. “What happened to you?”
“I fell…” He lied. “I fell on the ice. I got an icicle stuck in my calf when I fell, but it doesn't hurt much. Yoongi is exaggerating a bit.” Looking at the Alpha, he noticed that he was frowning at him and blushed.
Jae looked at him, sat down on the stool in front of him and started to roll up the leg of his baggy trousers. “Did you move at all after the treatment?”
Yoongi approached Jimin, fighting the urge to leave, if he was here he had to make his presence felt. He reached out and took the Omega's hand on his knee. It was warm and soft, he was surprised that it felt like that despite all his calluses.
“Yes.” the Omega said, looking at their joined hands. “I've been walking a bit.”
“A lot of walking.” The Alpha corrected.
Jae examined his not-quite-healed wound and threw the old, ointment-soaked cloth into the bin. “Rest is very important for wounds to heal. It's the same with everything. Healing is only possible if you give it time.” He stood up and grabbed a few jars from the shelves. He mixed them with a small spoon and made a muddy paste, then turned around and applied it to the wound. “Yoongi, you need to make your Omega comfortable.”
“I'm trying, sir.”
They really didn't let him do any work. He either went to the market or sat in his room all day. But he'd only been here a few days. This stupid wound was like a plague from his old life, it wouldn't go away.
Jae said, “Your parents must be pushing you. Oh, those Min's and their snobbish ways. I make an exception for you” He teased the Alpha. He applied the ointment. Jimin squeezed Yoongi's hard hand when it hurt and they locked eyes. When the Alpha's eyes flashed again, Jimin tried to pull his hand away, but the Alpha didn't let go. His eyes seemed to be warning him. Stay true to your role.
“It is almost over.” After a few quiet moments he said, “That's it. Now let's get your wound well dressed.” He said. “Apply this ointment twice a day.” He ordered, after wrapping the calf in a new woven cloth. “You'll be well in three days. Oh... And don't move too much.”
Jimin interrupted them as they spoke, his hand already withdrawn and stuffed into his trouser pocket. “And can you give me something for my Alpha, healer Jae?” He asked hesitantly. Jae nodded as Yoongi frowned. “Good for you, your Alpha never takes care of himself. It's your job to take care of him.” He looked at Yoongi's split lip and touched the slight black eye. The Alpha gritted his teeth angrily and turned his head away. “I'm fine.”
“Shut up. Is that what I taught you?”
“You said the healer doesn't heal himself.”
“Yes, that's why your Omega will heal you.” He found another jar and handed it to the Omega. “Rub this on the Alpha's face at night and he'll be fine.”
“Thank you, sir.”
Soon Jimin got off the couch and said goodbye to Jae. Yoongi grumbled as they walked out and down the snowy path. “What you did was unnecessary.”
Jimin didn't mind the scolding, he expected it. “You take care of me. What's wrong with me taking care of you? Besides, if I don't take care of you, I'll be a bad mate in people's eyes.”
Yoongi couldn't find anything to say this time. Did he want to be treated at all?
“You always found a way to come out on top.”
“What does that have to do with it?” Jimin said as he took his arm. He did it spontaneously, without thinking. Of course. But when Yoongi's body stiffened, he realised. But he didn't let go. The streets were full of people, he had an excuse.
“You always use the excuse that we're mates.”
“Because we're going to be mates, and I could use your help. I'll go home and rest. You go and do your work, do it so I'm not under your feet.”
“I'm going anyway.”
They didn't speak again. When they left, the house was quieter than usual. Only the voices of Junhee and the other helpers chopping something in the kitchen. “Why don't you go up to the room and rest, I don't think they're home. They won't bother you. I'll make sure of that.”
While Yoongi looked around, Yuri suddenly came out of his room and smiled broadly when he saw them. “Are you here? How's our Omega?” She walked over and stood next to Jimin. “Are you okay?”
“I'm fine.” Someone who really cared about him... It was so strange. “I'm fine... The healer gave me some ointment.”
“Good, good.”
“Where are my parents?” Yoongi asked distressed. He clenched his fist in his pocket, the contact still burning his skin.
“Didn't they tell you?” Her eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“What?”
“Mum and Taehyung went to the market to buy a dowry. You know my mother has been waiting for this moment for years. Even though Taehyung had a lot of things, she couldn't stop. But they also planned to tell you...”
Yoongi sighed when he saw Jimin's head drop. He would control himself not to get angry in front of Omega and upset him even more. “Anyway, it was better for Jimin to rest at home now.” So he tried to recover from the evil his mother had done. “It was good that she didn't call. Jimin is in no condition to leave, Jae has already ordered him to rest. I can't let him go. We'll sort it out later, the days are not in the bag.” He said quickly. “Besides, Mum's not in the best of tastes.”
Yuri laughed and took Jimin's arm. She had unintentionally upset him. “It's a good thing you didn't go, if you need to rest. Oh dear. It would have been much better to go with you on another day anyway, who wants to suffer Taehyung's moods, right?”
While Jimin smiled softly, the Alpha was torn between the two. And when this indecision was reflected in his eyes, Yuri understood. She sent Jimin into the lounge. “You go, I'll be right back.”
“Don't worry, I'll take care of the shopping.” Yuri said to his brother as Jimin waved to his Alpha and went inside.
“You can handle it, right?” Yoongi asked as he took off his hat and combed his hair with his hand. “I don't think it would be right for me to go shopping for a dowry.”
“Of course not! Besides, we are still looking for a wedding hanbok for Jimin. Don't come, it's bad luck.”
“Okay. Make sure he doesn't miss anything.” He sighed and lowered his voice. “He doesn't have anything. It upsets him.”
“We'll knit a lot with him until the wedding, there's no dowry without handicrafts. It will distract him.”
Yoongi assumed that Jimin knew how to knit. He was a little relieved that he had an older sister he could confide in. His mother would have eaten him alive and he wouldn't have noticed. He didn't want anything to happen to the Omega because of his decisions. “Then I'm going to see the children, I missed them for a few days. I'll leave you in charge Jimin.”
After saying goodbye, Yuri came in. Jimin was waiting on the cushion. He was worried when he didn't see his Alpha following Yuri. “Yoongi left?”
Yuri laughed. “Don't worry, he'll be back tonight. Why am I not enough for you?”
“Ah... I didn't mean it like that.” He couldn't resist asking. “Where did he go?”
“To work, of course.”
“He has a job?” His eyebrows raised and he wondered if he and Yoongi had talked about it. He would remember if they had.
“He didn't tell you? No way.” Yuri let out a small laugh and crouched down beside the Omega. “I'll tell you. Yoongi has been the fighting instructor for the young Alphas in the pack for a long time. In big packs like ours, everyone has a job to do. That's what Yoongi did. Although... The younger ones are good for him, I know.”
What Jimin didn't know about his Alpha was an iceberg compared to what he knew. It was almost unbelievable. An instructor, Yoongi... His Alpha with a hard temperament, a quick temper and a sad disposition. Was he getting better when it came to children? He found himself secretly wishing he could see this sight. Yuri nudged his shoulder, lost in thought, “I'm surprised, what did Yoongi tell you?”
Nothing… But he was too honest, it might have aroused suspicion. “I'm so forgetful, he must have told me.”
“That's our Yoongi, he's so secretive.”
“Does he go to work every day?”
“Three days a week, more if there's an unexpected attack or something. But we've had peace in our pack for a long time now, and we're lucky to have a strong leader.” Yuri smiled dreamily. “The boys love to work with Yoongi. I suggest you go and see for yourself. Just don't show Yoongi, but... He's embarrassed.”
Jimin put his hand to his lips and giggled, but Yuri noticed and grabbed his wrist. “That's a nice smile, don't hide it.”
But he didn't think so. An Omega in a distant pack had told him that his teeth were crooked and had scolded him not to laugh so loudly again. He had been ashamed of laughing ever since. “All right…” He managed to say, his cheeks flushing. Yuri was so affectionate with him. It would hurt him a lot if one day he was in front of him instead of next to him.
Even Yoongi didn't treat him like that. Would it be like that if he did?
“So tell me, Jiminsshi... We have so many things to talk about.” Yuri called to Junhee after she had stretched her legs and gotten into a comfortable position. While Jimin thought about what to say, Yuri said to the maid: “Can you bring us some nice snacks? This beautiful Omega needs to eat well.”
“Right away, sir.”
When she was gone, Yuri turned back to the Omega and winked, “Well? I'm listening.”
“What shall I tell you?”
“Whatever you want. Tell me something about yourself. Or Yoongi...” She lowered her voice. “You don't pay much attention to him, do you? Take it slow. You mated with him. Alphas are the worst. But my brother isn't really a wolf, and that's what I like most about him. He's actually much more compassionate and kind than he looks. I'm sure you know... Well, you should know better.”
Jimin knew nothing, so he caught every word as it came out of his mouth. “Oh yeah…” He said awkwardly. “That's why I was so attracted to him.”
“I wonder how you reacted when you found out he was a fox hybrid.” Jimin laughed as his eyes lit up with excitement. “I liked it very much. His hair and his eyes were very unique. It really impressed me. But he didn't think so.”
“That's because they do everything they can to make him think otherwise.”
Jimin wanted to ask but kept silent because he didn't know what he should or shouldn't know about him. Apart from that, Jimin was actually the most curious about this Omega. Since the first day and he couldn't stop it. Knowing how it had all started and how Yoongi had felt would hurt him more anyway, but... He couldn't help it. They chatted for a while and when Junhee brought them some delicious snacks on porcelain plates, they started to devour them.
“It's delicious.” He said as he ate the cookies.
“Junhee's famous cinnamon cookies…” Yuri said, pulling the green plate in front of the Omega.
“This is the best thing I've ever eaten.” As crumbs fell from the corner of his mouth, he quickly picked them up with his finger.
Yuri smiled warmly, he was so comfortable with this Omega, it was as if she already knew him. “Mum treats you badly sometimes and she will continue to do so. Don't worry about her, it's not you. She's just obsessed with status. And the whole marriage thing falling through... She didn't like that. Ignore it, okay?”
A familiar pang shot through the Omega's stomach, it was hard to talk about. “I didn't expect her to treat me like my own mother, and Yoongi told me, so I was prepared.”
“My mother is difficult, but she's good at heart. My dad drove her crazy.”
“I wouldn't be surprised.” He blurted out, blushing. “I'm sorry.”
But Yuri laughed back. “Oh! You're so sweet. Don't worry, when you get married and separate the houses, there will be fewer problems. Besides, you're so new... To all of us. Even for Yoongi. My brother has been alone for so long.”
Just as Jimin gathered his courage and was about to ask about the Omega, the door opened. The new arrivals came in noisily. When they crossed the hall and entered the lounge, they were surprised to see Jimin and Yuri. “I see you're in a good mood.” Chaerin said sarcastically as she handed the packages to Junhee.
Taehyung and his mother, who came in right behind him, just looked at this new scene.
“We were just chatting with Jimin while we were waiting for you... I noticed you left unannounced.” Yuri said as he popped a peanut into his mouth.
Taehyung took off his seemingly new fur coat and sat down on the seats while his mother looked at Jimin. “So you're the famous Park Jimin.”
Jimin could tell from the air that this Omega was also extremely well-off and wealthy. He stood up and thought that she looked like Taehyung, he had to meet her. “Hello. Yes, it's me.”
They exchanged quick greetings, “Welcome to the Min family Jimin, I hear you have a long history.” She said as she finished looking at him and sat down.
“Not really.”
“We were surprised Yoongi got mated, he kept us so busy we thought he'd never get married, alphas... You never know who they'll mark.”
Jimin did not want to compromise his respect, but Yuri disagreed, so she stood up and grabbed his shoulder. “Luckily he made a tasteful choice this time. And thank Jimin. Without him, who knows how long this wedding would have been postponed?”
The woman nodded thoughtfully, not the type to mince words, but remained silent. She obviously wanted to get to know Jimin before she spoke. When Chaerin took her place in the living room, Jimin left. He felt out of place and walked until Yuri caught up with him and took his arm. They walked up the stairs together. When they entered Yoongi's room, Jimin sat down on the bed and sighed.
“Taehyung's mum is not a bad person normally, but they dote on their son so much... Taehyung got jealous and complained about you to his mum. I'm sure she'll warm up to you once she gets to know you.”
“But... I have nothing to be jealous of?”
“You think so.” She sat down next to him. “Don't make that face.”
“When is Yoongi coming?” He asked, unable to resist.
“Are you scared?”
“No... But...” He stopped, he certainly felt better when he was with him. Like he was closer to being whole.
“Don't feel alone, I'm here and they can't hurt you.”
But it wasn't long before she left. She left the room, promising to come back when her mother called from downstairs. For the first time, Jimin felt that he had found a good friend. Of course, he'd had friends before, but they'd all ended badly. Because of the flowers. Everything was because of them. When he thought about it, he felt a strange pain in his flowers and became restless. He wanted Yuri to come back as soon as possible. There were so many things he wanted to talk to her about. But part of him also wanted her to keep her mouth shut.
After about ten minutes of watching the fire burn, there was a knock at the door. It wasn't Yuri when Jimin fixed his excited eyes on the door and told him to come in. His face fell, but he quickly recovered and stood up. It was Junhee, standing there with the big bags in her hands. Jimin frowned, she seemed to be carrying them with difficulty. “Junhee…” He said as he opened the door wide, “Do you need help?”
The Omega quickly stepped aside as the old Beta nodded her head from side to side and asked, “May I come in?” “Sure. Please come in.” As the woman set down the small box in her hand, he asked. “What is this?”
“Your dowry.” The Beta said in a low voice as she sat up, took a breath and looked away. “When Chaerin-shi found out you had no dowry, she came up with this solution.”
“They bought this for me? But we were going to go with Yuri anyway-“
“No.” She interrupted, and the Omega fell silent. “They weren't bought for you. We already had them, they've been in the attic for years, and my mistress asked me to give them to you.”
“Why were they hidden? I don't seem to understand.”
“This dowry belonged to Yoongi's first Omega. When things didn't work out the way we thought, we put it in the attic. They never had a chance to use it and they never got married anyway.” Beta stopped in shock when she realised she had gone too far. She looked at the newest member of the household, Jimin.
Jimin froze for a moment, then tried to find his words and mumbled something. “Chaerin-shi is very considerate. Thank you.” After sending her away, he quickly closed the door. He leaned back against it and pressed his hands to his face. Both Yoongi and Yuri had said that his mother was difficult. Yes, they had said that, but wasn't it too much?
He didn't deserve the way she treated him. Besides, she hadn't even bothered to talk to him directly, and Junhee had taken care of that. That's how unimportant he was to her. How long did she want to punish him?
He tried hard not to feel sad. He held someone else's dowry in his hands.
I mean, this so-called Omega and Yoongi were even preparing to get married once, and then it was all over. It was unfinished. And why was that? Did she leave Yoongi? Jimin had been stuck with these flowers all his life. He had never even looked at anyone else, while Yoongi had fallen in love with someone else. That was certain now. He couldn't have missed all that. Ignoring it wouldn't work anymore. Maybe Yoongi saw his old Omega every time he looked at him.
A tear fell from his eye and he quickly wiped it away with the back of his hand. No, no, no, no. He wasn't going to give up, he wasn't going to give up so easily. He was going to see this through. Yoongi was his soulmate and not even a possible lover from the past could change that.
With tears in his eyes, he sat on the bed and opened the small box he had taken from the trunk. As the contents were revealed, a faint scent filled his nostrils. A scent that didn't belong to him. Something that did not belong in this room. As he took the embroidered silk handkerchief between his fingers, he realised that all these things belonged to this Omega. That she had done all this. And the source of this scent could only belong to an Omega. The pheromones were still alive, however faintly, in the airless environment. She was gone, but her scent remained. Instinctively, he wanted to wash all these things with his own Omega scent.
He wanted everything to be his. Especially his Alpha. He clenched his jaw involuntarily as he squeezed the silk handkerchief and crumpled it in his palm. Five minutes later, he felt calmer. What his mother had done was not Alpha's fault. Her intention was obviously to make life hell for both of them in this relationship. He would not let her, he would cling to his Alpha even more. With this feeling, he continued to examine the contents of the dowry. After a moment he embraced it and his pheromones filled the room.
Silk nightgowns, socks embroidered with soft and thick fabric, combs and towels. Everything was there. Most of it was for an Omega girl, and apparently this Omega was very slim and pretty. Most of it would not fit Jimin, he wished. If he was pretty enough to look at, maybe he'd be interested.
He didn't notice when the sun went down. Just like he didn't notice Yoongi coming in. He jumped when the door closed and looked up from the lace nightgown to see his Alpha staring at him with a confused expression. “Jimin?” Yoongi had picked up the intense pheromones emanating from the room all the way downstairs. He had come up in confusion.
His Omega was one of the dowries from years ago. It was the dowry that Hyuna had made with her own hands, sealed with the scent and last seen years ago. His mother had told him that she had sent it back to the family. She had lied.
“What are you doing?” He asked, trying to keep his voice calm.
That smell. That faint trace of Hyuna's scent disappeared. He was confused. What had Jimin felt when he smelled that scent? He must have smelled another Omega's pheromones and released his own.
“Your mother gave me these.” He explained gently. “I've been examining them. Look... There are some amazing pieces.” Jimin tried to smile. “I guess he didn't want us to shop and get tired.”
“Jimin...”
“Your old Omega is very tasteful... But these won't fit me.” He held up a long dress and looked at it. Yoongi picked it up angrily and threw it into a corner. “Put that away! That wasn't my Omega! My God... What were you thinking when you took it?” He rubbed his forehead and exhaled sharply to calm his anger. “You should have returned it unopened.”
“Why? Did it upset you?” He asked, gathering himself, but at the same time wanting to cover his ears so he wouldn't hear what she said.
“It belonged to the past.” The Alpha added, shaking his head from side to side in despair. “My mother must have destroyed it. I don't understand how she could. She went too far this time.”
“They wanted me to sort out the ones that fit me, but there isn't much.” Jimin said calmly as he closed the lid of the box, only to be stopped by the Alpha's hands. The Alpha lifted the two large trunks in his strong arms and left the room. Jimin called after him but he ignored him and the Omega had to follow. “Yoongi stop what are you doing!”
“I'll get rid of this.” The Alpha didn't stop, even though his mother caught him on the way down the stairs. He crossed the hall, went out the front door into the garden, threw the chest in the middle of the garden and waited a few seconds while everyone watched the scene. Meanwhile, Jimin ran out onto the veranda. Even Yuri heard the noise and came out. Luckily, Yoongi had chosen a time when Dohyun was out to make a scene.
“Yoongi! Are you crazy? What's going on?”
With an unreadable expression on his face, Yoongi took a match out of his pocket and lit it with one stroke, while Jimin watched him stiffen, wondering if the Alpha's reactions were real. He had to analyse his every move.
“Mum, come and see your work! I am doing what you should have done years ago.” Jimin locked eyes with Chaerin as her eyes glowed in the light of the flame. He didn't need to be wise to realise that she was accusing him again. No matter what he did, he wouldn't win her favour. Maybe he should have done what Yoongi had said and not taken the chest through the door.
They were memories, a past he didn't belong to.
“Don't be silly, put that down.”
Yuri called to him, wrapped in his brown cardigan. “Yoongi, let's sit down and talk calmly. For God's sake... You've all been acting crazy lately.”
“We're way past talking, Noona.”
“Tell me what happened, what's this chest?”
Yuri shouted angrily as Yoongi made him realise who it belonged to with one look. “Mum! I can't believe you.”
“Where were you when this happened, Yuri? I asked you to protect my Omega...”
Jimin tried to intervene but he couldn't, no one could hear what he was saying. “Don't come!” Yoongi warned as Yuri took a step forward, thinking she had disappointed her brother. “I didn't know, Yoongi... I'll show her. Mum! Are you crazy?” She grabbed her mother's arm and shook her. “What's Hyuna's dowry doing in this house?”
As the whole garden echoed with these voices, Jimin watched the Alpha as he crossed his arms to protect himself from the bitter cold. He looked at him with an apologetic expression, which he assumed was part of the act. “Yoongi, let's go inside. Please...” He didn't know what else to say. Then he added. “It's okay, let's forget it, it was a mistake.”
“I'll never forget this insult to you.” Yoongi stared at him for a moment, then threw the match into the pile of beautiful hand embroidery. Chaerin almost kicked herself when it all went up in flames in a matter of seconds, thanks to the wooden chest. “Great Eloa, no! I wanted to do you a favour! You've gone mad. I don't recognise you anymore, Yoongi.”
“You didn't want to do me a favour!” Yoongi said as he caught up with her. He stood in front of her and looked down at her. “All you're doing is making my Omega's life miserable, trying to push him away from me, and everyone knows it.”
“It's not like that, you're full of shit. Omega has nothing, so what's the crime in giving him things?”
“Did you have to give him my ex-fiancée's dowry?” He shouted. Jimin shuddered. “When I told you that I had erased everything that belonged to Hyuna. That was disrespectful, disrespectful even to you. I don't know how you manage to disappoint me more and more every time.”
“Listen to me, son...” Yoongi broke free of his mother's grip and looked back at the fire, the top embroidered handkerchiefs succumbing to the ashes. “Jimin.” Yoongi called to the Omega to his right and Jimin took a mesmerised step forward and let him take his hand. “Jimin will be my mate, you better accept that now. As soon as he gets better, you'll take Yuri with you and go dowry shopping with him.” His voice was like ice. “Whatever he wants, you won't refuse. Otherwise you'll cause things you won't like.”
“Enough Yoongi, you can't disrespect your mother anymore!” The woman looked at Omega angrily. “Your Omega is obviously telling you everything, I was right to be careful with him. When I say I meant no harm, I meant no harm! If I had known that the dowry meant something to you –“
Yoongi thundered. “You're good at twisting things. Tell me why you kept these things.”
“I couldn't bear to throw them away, okay, they were very rare. I tried so hard to buy them, I couldn't wait to give them to Omega, and then everything happened. I couldn't give them to her family, they were in pain, you know that. What was I going to do?”
“I'm bored, Mum…” Yoongi said with a nonchalant shrug. “All these little games and lies... You can't control everything. Leave me alone. Leave us alone.” He didn't even look as the things behind him went up in flames. He knew he was burning his past, but he had to run for the exit before it engulfed him. Maybe he should have done it in the first place. He picked up the innocent Omega and went inside. He needed silence now. When they went up to their room together, Jimin closed the door quietly. His full lips parted and closed for a while, not knowing what to say. Yoongi sat on the bed with slumped shoulders. He was no longer the strong man he had been before, he looked like he had been through a battle. Maybe his Alpha had really been disappointed and upset. Jimin should have comforted him, but how? What for? “Yoongi” He said quietly.
“Yes?”
After he had taken a seat in the small room next to him, he said: “I don't know what happened in the past, nobody tells me, but I'm sorry for what happened today. Junhee asked me to separate these things.” He began to speak. “I didn't know what to do, I didn't think it would remind you of bad things.”
“I'm the one who's sorry.” He said, turning to him. “Look at the position I put you in. That's why I'm angry. For opening up the past when I closed the book on it. My parents are more devious than I expected. I didn't think that they would try to hurt me with this kind of thing.”
“The past only hurts if you feel something about it, don't you think?”
Yoongi's eyes darkened and he shook his head from side to side. “I have regrets.” He said. “But nothing like you think, if that's what you're wondering.” Then he shrugged. “I don't see why you should wonder. The fact that you accepted this chest shows you don't care about my past, it's a game and you want to be a good player. You have nothing to blame yourself for.”
‘ Shut up ’, he wanted to tell him. Without realising it, he was opening wounds in Jimin that would never heal.
“On the contrary…” He said instead. “I'm curious about your past, because I don't know what I'd do if someone who still matters to you came from the past and took you away from me... No one would ever open the door to a mated Omega again, I'd just be left in the middle. Game over.”
“I would never abandon you, I'm not like that.” Yoongi said in disbelief. “Have you really thought about that?”
“The world is a huge battlefield for me, I have to think about everything.” He couldn't trust anyone anymore. Especially after the soulmate he'd been searching for for years had turned his back on him and didn't recognise him anymore. This bitter truth followed him everywhere.
Sighing, the Alpha said, “Don't worry, no one from the past will come back. She can't. Because she's dead. You can be sure of that.” And without looking at him again, he slammed the door and left the room, leaving the Omega alone with this harsh reality.
The Omega he had almost considered his rival was no longer alive.
Was Yoongi grieving for a dead Omega? Was that why he couldn't see his soulmate dying for him?
*****
Jimin didn't leave his room until dinnertime. As he sat by the window watching the snow fall outside, he was startled by a knock at the door. It was Yuri. “Can I come in?”
“Sure, Noona.” Jimin suddenly blushed, it was the first time he had called her that. “Uh, excuse me.”
“Oh! What forgiveness, I like that very much. Please go on.” She squeezed his shoulder affectionately as she settled into the empty seat. She wore a brown wool skirt and a green turtleneck that brought out the beautiful colour of her eyes. Jimin thought she dressed well, simple and elegant. If only he could be like her. But there was only so much he could do with his frail body. He didn't dare to wear anything but the plain grey suits Junhee had given him, because whatever he wore would look out of place on him. And there wasn't much in his wardrobe.
“How are you? Are you feeling better?”
“I'm fine, but Yoongi got angry about what happened.” He nibbled his lip nervously. “He walked out.”
“He's like that, he likes to walk out and disappear. Everyone has a different way of avoiding trouble. You too... You have to learn to keep him out of the house in your marriage.”
If only someone had taught him how…
“If I'd known, I wouldn't have taken the dowry.”
“It's not your fault. I apologise for not being able to stop it. My mother distracted me at the time.”
Shaking his head, Jimin fiddled with his fingers and spilled the beans. “I didn't know that Yoongi's Omega was dead.”
The air in the room tightened for a moment as he said this. “All right…” Yuri said, clearing her throat. “Yes. I kept quiet because I thought it was right for the Alpha to say it. I didn't bring it up in case you knew.”
Jimin wiped his face as he remembered that his Alpha had played the role of loyal mate tonight. As much as he didn't believe that he had gotten over Hyuna. He had to pretend. Doubt would have ended the game. “Yes, he didn't even need to talk about it. The past is the past, he said. But this act made him very angry. He apologised because he thought it was disrespectful to me. I didn't care so much...” He sighed heavily and the lies spilled out of his mouth easily. “But Yoongi thinks about me a lot, that's why it happened.”
“Of course it's in the past. Why else would he marry you? He loves you so much. What he just did is something only a blindly in love Alpha would do.”
“Yes.” He said in a weak voice. Yoongi was a really good liar, he had even fooled his sister thoroughly. “He's in love with me.”
Yuri patted the Omega's back, “You must be hungry, shall we go down for dinner?” Just then they looked out the window and saw the Alpha coming through the iron gate. “Your Alpha is here too.”
“Let's go down then.” Jimin stood up and straightened his clothes.
As they walked in arm in arm, Jimin blushed when Yuri said, just to change the subject, “I've got to get your wardrobe sorted out sometime, let's go shopping with you.” He must have stood out because of the way he dressed, which didn't suit this family. “It has to be done before the wedding.”
Jimin nodded his head gently. “We wanted to deal with Yoongi, but he's got his hands full.”
Yuri pinched him. “He doesn't know how to get dressed, come with me.”
They laughed quietly as they descended the carpeted stairs and everyone sat down at the table. Yoongi took off his coat and handed it to Junhee when he saw his brother and his Omegas arm in arm. “Jimin…” He said as he walked up to him. “Yoongi…” He said, looking down. He wondered where he was, but didn't ask. He smiled and took his Alpha's arm. He didn't want to show that he was upset in front of his family.
It was then that Jimin realised that the people at the dinner table were very well dressed, not shabby like him. Even Yoongi had put on a nice cloth jacket and combed his hair. He must have showered while he was away because Jimin could smell the smell of his hair. But he didn't notice anything. Just like he hadn't noticed anything when he had smelled his scent and mated with him or when they had looked at each other for the first time. There was nothing between them, he had to get used to it. “Have a nice meal.” Dohyun said as they sat down next to each other. The rest of them started to eat the steaming venison steaks.
“I heard something today.” The big Alpha said a moment later as he put the meat on the bone aside. “You had a fight with your mother, Yoongi.”
“It's over, dear.” Chaerin said in a soothing voice. She was still tense from what had just happened. “It was a small fight.”
“I hope so, I don't want any more incidents in this house, especially if it's because of Yoongi.”
Yoongi ignored it, grabbed the meat with his teeth and chewed. “Taehyung was very happy with today's shopping.”Jungkook tried to change the subject. He had found out what had happened at home when he met his brother in front of the woodshed. Junhee was cleaning up the burnt remains on the floor, so he had to tell him. “He wants us to plan the wedding day as soon as possible, what do you think?”
“I talked to his father about it today, so I can give you this good news.” Dohyun sat back and looked at Jimin as he licked his greasy fingers. “We talked about doing it seven days later, exactly one week before the winter solstice. We agreed on that and it's up to you to go along and speed up the preparations.”
Yoongi stopped chewing the meat and looked at his father while Jungkook hummed happily. This day was the anniversary of Hyuna's death. It was no coincidence. “You could have asked me.”
“I didn't even ask Jungkook.” Even... Yoongi was the eldest son in this family. “And you're not the main characters of the wedding. You're just getting married on the same day to cover up your shame.”
Yoongi opened his mouth to say something nasty. But he stopped himself when the Omega's warm hand gently touched his knee under the table. A single touch. Jimin's wolf strangely calmed his wild and impulsive wolf. “Yes, sir.” Jimin said just then, adapting to the conversation. “Everything suits us. We are grateful.”
“Speak when I ask for your opinion.”
Jimin pressed his lips together and swallowed, and who knows what else he would swallow. Just out of respect, just to be nice. Just because it had always been like that. Maybe someone else would have left, but Jimin had no door to go to, no shoulder to cry on, no one to listen to his complaints. He was all alone and helpless in this vast universe. So there was little choice but to remain silent, to accept and keep quiet.
He accepted that too.
“It's also his wedding, so that's more than enough for him to have an opinion.”
Jimin looked at his Alpha out of the corner of his eye, he didn't want to see his Alpha defending him and being bad to his father. His Alpha was obviously a strong Alpha with his own domain. But that wasn't always the case with his father and Jimin didn't want to make it harder. But luck was on his side this time. Dohyun didn't mind at all and turned to his other son, continuing to chew his meat noisily. “Make everything perfect, don't let me down. I'll be out of the pack all day tomorrow, it's up to you.”
“I'll do my best, Dad.” Jungkook said, too embarrassed to look at his brother. Whenever his father compared him to his brother, Jungkook felt crushed and incomplete. Like he was a patchwork. He was sure he would feel complete when he married. Now it was ending.
*****
That evening, when dinner was over and everyone was about to head for their rooms, Chaerin and Junhee stopped the pair at the top of the stairs. “I need to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
The woman lowered her voice and looked out of the corner of her eye at the Omega who was an inch taller than her. “We need to take Jimin to a separate room...”
“Why?” The Alpha asked as Jimin frowned, he couldn't take any more nonsense.
“Don't worry, I mean no harm.”
“Then what?”
Chaerin said, “The wedding is only a few days away. Don't talk as if you don't know the customs. It's bad luck for the Alpha to see the Omega a few days before the wedding, and it's not appropriate for them to be in the same room. Great Eloa... I should have thought of that on the first night, but you're completely out of your mind. Anyway, what's done is done. Do as I say, Junhee is preparing the room. What you've done has already caused us enough sin. I don't think you'll find anything wrong with this.”
Yoongi snapped, “I'm mated to him, don't make it sound like we're doing something shameful.” But Jimin was mild. He was willing to follow tradition; after all, this was his first and last wedding. “Your mother knows what's right Yoongi, let's separate the rooms and our wedding is just around the corner...”
“What nonsense...”
“Jimin.” She said and looked at him. “I trust you. Don't let him into your room.”
Did Chaerin-shi trust him? He would do anything to keep her trust alive. He nodded as hope sparked inside him, maybe she could throw down her weapons and try to love him one day.
Yoongi grumbled as the two left. “Why do you let them?” Omega whispered back. “You won't lose anything if you're a bit compatible. Anyway, we'll always be in the same place when we get married.” He found himself saying something that would later crush him with pain. He, too, was caught up in the game. “Do you miss me?”
Yoongi frowned and his white skin flushed slightly. “Not at all, it just seemed ridiculous. I remind you of what my mother did just tonight.”
“They are your parents after all... Because they care about you.”
“Yoongi sighed. I'm not going to argue with you. Do what you want. Then pack your things and get out of the room.” Jimin followed him as he left him behind and entered the room.
“Here, pack everything.”
Jimin crossed his arms over his chest and watched him from a distance. “You're being rude.”
“Jimin, I can't argue with you. I really can't.”
“I'm just trying to do what's best for the game we're playing. If that's the tradition, then let's separate the rooms. There's no harm in that. They're also right, I came to this house mated out of the blue.”
“Let's get this wedding over with and get out of here.”
“It's only a week away.” Jimin said and started to recover. “By the way... Is there any way I can see the house before the wedding?”
“If you really want, I'll take you. But the pack won't take it well if they see it.”
“Well, then let it be a surprise for me, I'm curious, but I can bear it.”
“That's good.”
“Well... I'll go then.” At that moment Jimin, startled by the knock at the door, looked at the opened door. It was Junhee. “Your room is ready.”
They both forced a smile as they stood in front of her and Yoongi reached up and kissed the top of Jimin's head. “Don't be afraid without me...”
“Your scent is with me anyway, good night.” He put his hands on his Alpha's chest and stayed there for a second. Then he pulled away and didn't breathe until he was alone in his own room.
The agony of his soul was intensifying and it hadn't even begun yet.
When he entered the room Junhee had led him to, he thanked her and gently closed the door behind him. The room was on the same floor as Yoongi's, but it was more simply furnished than any other room he had ever seen in this huge house. It was more like... Neglected. Nothing fancy, no bright wallpaper on the walls, lit by a single gas lamp and a small fireplace, wooden cupboards and a bed with an iron headboard.
Jimin was angry with himself. It wasn't like he'd been living in palaces all this time. Just having a roof over his head and four walls was more than enough for him to be thankful for. What he was doing now was nothing but spoiled. But he couldn't help thinking about the first room he had stayed in when he came to this house. Chaerin had made it clear to them that they were not fortunate enough to stay there.
Maybe Yoongi was right. This was a game like any other cheap game. His mother was doing her best to damage their relationship. But he didn't know what she could gain from it. After all, she couldn't stop them from moving into their own house a week later. They were going to get married. It was so close. Jimin clenched his small hands into fists and hid them against his chest, sighing shakily. The events of today had made him tired. Even if he was no longer physically tired, he felt mentally tired, a feeling he had only recently realised. Being next to Yoongi but far away from him was his hardest battle.
He took off the cream-coloured scarf around his neck, rolled up his cardigan and left it on the bed. It was already late and he had to get up early in the morning. Yuri wanted to go shopping with him, and Yoongi had practically ordered his mother to do it for him a couple of hours ago.
My omega, he had said bravely. You'll take care of him. And a lot of other things... The way his Alpha had defended him to his mother had been so realistic. If he hadn't seen the sadness burning in Yoongi's eyes, he would have believed it too. Jimin felt how miserable he must have been when he burned those clothes, all those unique dowries. It was one of those rare moments when he could read his heart. And in that moment Jimin had asked God not to feel it at all. It was pathetic. Trying to be good to his soulmate while his heart was burning for someone else... He wasn't sure. Wouldn't Yoongi feel it if he was in love with someone else? But he didn't feel anything for him, soulmates wouldn't be like that.
Maybe Yoongi was telling the truth. When he said that his relationship with his fiancée was different. Maybe it was all over and done with, it was all water under the bridge. Jimin couldn't blame him, no, he couldn't.
But he blamed him, inside he was screaming that Yoongi was to blame for everything and he thought that Yoongi never looked for his soul mate and that's why he went down the wrong path. He was the only one who fought for it. Maybe that's why he was grateful for Chaerin's plan to separate the rooms. As much as he loved sharing a bed with his Alpha, it would be very difficult to get into the same bed with him tonight. Now it just felt like a burden.
After quickly wiping the tear from his eye to his cheek and sniffing, he sat down on the bed and opened the bag on his lap. Yoongi's ointment was there too. He had forgotten to give it to him. The healer had said that he had to take care of his Alpha. Because Yoongi didn't care about the bruises on his face.
He put the small glass on the bedside table so that he wouldn't forget to give it to the Alpha. He would give it to him in the morning. Now he had to take care of himself and heal. After stretching his leg, he rolled his cotton pyjamas up to his knees. He applied a finger-thick ointment of herbs to the wound he had bandaged and wrapped it in a fresh cloth. He was used to treating himself, but this time it would take time to heal. But soulmates were good for each other. They healed their wounds together.
From head to toe, everything about them was broken, wrong and defective.
Chapter 11: Hanbok
Chapter Text
10 "I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed.
That morning, Yoongi woke up half an hour before breakfast as usual. He got ready, washed and put on his thick clothes, which were neatly stored in the closet. Just as he was about to leave the room, there was a knock at the door. He opened it with a smile, thinking it was Junhee, who checked on him every morning, even more meticulously than her mother. “I'm awake, don't worry.”
But it wasn't her, he froze when he saw Jimin looking at him with big brown eyes. Omega stood at his door as if they hadn't parted last night in a quarrel. He held a small glass in his hand. Even in the light, plain suits he'd been wearing since he'd arrived, he looked nice. Yes, it would have been nice if Yoongi had had to describe this Omega in one word, but fortunately he didn't have to. There was something about him that he couldn't put a name to, that he didn't even want to think about. Yoongi cleared his throat and his eyes fell on the little green flower clip the Omega had pinned into her growing hair. He must have made it himself. “Good morning.” He said and stopped smiling. “I thought you were Junhee.”
“I see, you don't open your door to me with a smile like that.”
Yoongi didn't care, he was sure that the Omega only said things like that to annoy him and keep the game going. He saw the Alpha as an emotionless playmate.
“What is it?” After what had happened yesterday, it seemed like a good idea to stay away from the Omega. In fact, he was almost grateful to his mother when he lay alone in his bed at night. He could not bear the presence of an Omega on the other side of his bed, probably looking at him accusingly. Even to think of sharing his solitude, which he knew every inch of, with an Omega made him dread it. Besides, his mind had already been disturbed enough by the dowry issue last night. Books that should not have been opened had been opened, and bridges that should not have been destroyed had been destroyed.
He would never mention Hyuna again in any corner of his life. That would have been the case if her dowry had gone up in smoke with her. He would never have brought her to the surface himself. But whatever happened, her mother had done what she wanted to do. No matter how bad he felt, it had to happen the way it had to happen. He didn't even know if he should explain to Jimin. What would he say? How could he tell him what he couldn't even explain to himself?
“You dived...”
“What did you say?”
Jimin looked to either side of him, the sound of cutlery coming from downstairs. “Well, I left this in my bag. Healer Jae asked me to put ointment on his wounds, I wanted to put it on before I came down.”
The subject was completely out of his mind. “Did you use your own medicine?” He asked, ignoring himself. “How's your leg?”
Jimin waved his hand nonchalantly. “I'm fine.” He smiled weakly and handed him the glass. “You put it on too.”
“I'll put it on later.” Jimin frowned. He put the glass he had taken from his hand in the walnut chest of drawers in his room, entered the room without asking permission and closed the door. “I'm sure it won't last.”
“Jimin, what are you...”
“Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you.” He took the jar, opened the lid, dipped his finger in it and brought the cloudy ointment close to his Alpha's face. “We have a wedding in a week, are you going to go out in public like this? I don't understand why everyone says I have to look good and no one sees you.” Yoongi grabbed his wrist as he stood on his toes and approached his face. “Jimin…” He said as a warning. He had invaded his personal space too much.
Jimin stared at him sleepily. He had woken up on the bright side today, but he was going to ignore the Alpha's rude behaviour. “Why are you being so stubborn? You looked after me for days in that cabin.”
“I didn't expect anything in return and that's not the same.”
Jimin finally reached his face by gently moving the wrist the Alpha was holding, and managed to apply the ointment to the corner of his lip with the bruise under his eye. “There you go.”
“For God's sake...” He let go of the wrist and stepped away from the Omega. “You're so stubborn.”
“Am I? You don't know yourself.” He looked meaningfully at the Alpha. “Why don't you rub the ointment into your skin?”
“Okey, I'll do it.” He snapped at him. “Can you get out?”
“I can't. Your mother separated us at night, now we have to go down for breakfast together.” He put his hands on his waist and waited for the Alpha. Alpha's bright orange hair was dishevelled, his eyes tired and sleepless. Though he wanted to tease him by saying, 'Couldn't you sleep without me?' , their artificial relationship was too fresh for that. Something inside him whispered that he was carrying the entire burden of this relationship. But Jimin couldn't stop himself. He had to give one hundred percent in everything and please the other person.
Maybe he was a pathological case of people pleaser.
“What are you looking at?”
“We're going wedding shopping today.” He pressed his lips together. “And you can't come. That's what they said.”
“That's right, I don't like shopping.” He paused. “Besides, I thought wedding shopping didn't involve alphas.”
“Yeah, that's true.” He combed the hair at the back of his neck. “We'll be looking for a hanbok. A wedding hanbok. Is there anything in particular you want?”
Yoongi was surprised by the question. “You can wear whatever you want, why are you asking me?”
“But... You'll be wearing a hanbok too. That's why. So you want special embroidery for our hanboks? Something in common? I have heard that some couples do.” ‘Flowers…’ He thought longingly. ‘Say you want little blue flowers…’ He put his hand on his heart and waited for an answer.
Yoongi thought for a few seconds and then shook his head. “No, and we're not that kind of couple.” Then he looked at him and asked for his opinion. “Do you have one?”
“Do you mind?”
“I don't mind. If you're into that sort of thing, you can do it. I'll give you my hanbok to work on.”
When Jimin opened his mouth to say that he didn't know how to handicraft, the Alpha had already left. For him, everything was just a business. A special embroidery on a wedding outfit would of course be meaningless. Jimin was the idiot who judged the Alpha on secrets he didn't know and declared him guilty. Yes, he did. Because who else could he blame? He wanted to grab him by the collar and say ‘We're soul mates, why are you pretending we're not?’ Fall at his feet and beg him to acknowledge him, and then plunge the knife deep into his heart. That's how he felt. It was chaotic. It was as if this was all a disgusting and unbearable joke on the Omega, and Yoongi himself was the one playing it. Oh, how he wished it were true. He would forgive Yoongi in a heartbeat if he'd done something like that. He wouldn't even have asked him how he could make such a joke.
He was so pathetic.
Breakfast was cold and silent as usual. Jimin stayed hungry, he tried to show off his skills, he tried to eat the way they did. Junhee and the other servants came and cleared the table. The Great Alpha got up from the table and left everyone else free. This time he didn't talk to Yoongi at all. Instead, he looked after his other Alpha son and listened to his worries about the wedding. It seemed to Jimin that his father ignored his Alpha, while his Alpha was very visible and conspicuous. He didn't understand this strange relationship. He wondered what had happened that night. For example, what had caused the bruises on Yoongi's face? At the same time, he was running away from the answer. But in his own way, he resented the way he had treated his Alpha.
Jimin had been treated badly by everyone in this life, only his family had treated him well. Maybe that's why he had stayed so strong and carried on without giving up, because he was loved, his parents loved him. But who loved Yoongi? Did he disown him because he grew up without love? If that was the case, then Jimin could try to love him for real, even fall head over heels in love with him and never hold back.
But he thought that the problem was something much bigger, something too difficult for both of them to understand.
A short time after Dohyun left the house, the rest of the people got up and started getting ready to go shopping. Jimin understood from what was said that there would be a feverish pre-wedding cleaning at home. So they shouldn't have stayed at home either. Taehyung watched himself in the mirror in the hall while Chaerin went to her room to get dressed. Jimin couldn't stop looking at him out of the corner of his eye, because how could he not? He was truly mesmerising, his lips the colour of a ripe cherry, his slightly dark skin and his curly hair, which he wore in a silver hat adorned with tropical bird feathers, were enough to draw admiration. Jungkook must have been a very lucky Alpha that Taehyung had chosen him. Jimin was caught by his Alpha watching him with his lips parted. “What are you looking at?”
“N-nothing…” The Omega recovered quickly.
“Do you like his clothes?”
“Whose?”
“Taehyung's.” He paused, studying him from above, his eyelashes curled and his full lips pursed. “You want to wear something like that? Then buy it.”
He was about to protest when Taehyung handed his handbag to a short Beta coming through the door who must have been his helper. Jimin shook his head quickly from side to side. “No. I was just distracted.” What did he want to say to his Alpha? ‘Taehyung is beautiful, but look at me. I'm not even likeable and my clothes don't even look good on me?’ He couldn't compete with him. He didn't want to. He didn't want to be the centre of attention, to be the envy of everyone, all he wanted was for his alpha to love him, to recognise that he was his soulmate.
He wondered what Yoongi's ex-fiancée looked like. He couldn't stop wondering. The brothers had a taste for Omegas. Until it was his turn. He shouldn't have been so gloomy. After all, it was Jimin who was going wedding shopping now. Yuri skipped down the stairs too, dressed in a brown dress that ended at her ankles. “Where's Mum?”
“She's still getting ready.” Yoongi replied.
Yuri smiled and patted his brother on the shoulder. “You're going with Jungkook, right?”
“If he can get out of his room.” Yoongi grumbled this time.
At that moment Jungkook and Chaerin came into the hall. They were all ready, just needing to throw their furs over their shoulders. Jimin felt his heart sink and turned to his Alpha. “I really don't know what kind of hanbok to get.” He murmured in a voice that no one could hear. They hadn't had time to talk about it properly.
Yoongi looked at him and shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever you want, and how different can a hanbok be?”
“I think the colours might be different. Are you sure you don't want anything special?”
“Yes, I'm sure. Think about yourself, don't worry about me.”
Meanwhile Jungkook was whispering and laughing with Taehyung on their right. Their conversation was up to their ears. “You will have the most beautiful hanboks not only in the market but in the whole world. No matter how much they cost... I'll buy you the most beautiful one, worthy of my Omega.”
Yoongi heard it too, but he didn't give any sign. He took his Omega's arm and pulled him forward a little. “You and Yuri can choose something suitable, it's not right for me to be there. You can take whatever you want, I'll be fine. Alpha hanboks don't come in much variety anyway.” He paused. “What colour would you like me to wear?”
He couldn't believe they had done this five minutes before leaving the house. But Jimin was happy, it was better than nothing. His Alpha was asking him what to wear. Suddenly he felt like a big, real mate. “I think any colour would suit you...” He said and looked at his hair.
“Do you think so?” He asked hesitantly.
“Sure... Your hair is so glamorous anyway.”
Yoongi looked away at that moment, he doubted it. He had always disliked his hair, just as he disliked all fox characteristics.
It was time to go, and they slowly made their way to the outer gate. Taehyung's mum had also come to go shopping with them. Chaerin and Taehyung wore their fur coats, while Yuri wore his own off-white coat. “You're forgetting this, dear...” Yoongi said as he took Jimin's brand new brown plain coat and handed it to Jimin to put on. “Do you want to freeze?”
Yoongi kissed his Omega's blonde hair as Chaerin witnessed this moment and looked at them both. “Yuri will take care of you.”
Yuri squeezed Jimin's cheek. “Of course I will... I'll do whatever he wants.”
“You're embarrassing me…” Jimin said sincerely. No one had ever said that about him before, it felt strange.
Taehyung had already overheard this conversation. He narrowed his eyes and stood in front of Jimin, buttoning his coat and straightening his shoulders. “You and I will finally be able to meet as two Omegas. We'll get to know each other well, won't we? Hm... Look at you, you're so frail, your Alpha should take good care of you.”
Yoongi shrugged and felt the need to protect him. Jimin hesitantly looked at his Alpha and the big Omega in front of him. “You bet. Besides, Jimin is gorgeous in every way.”
Jimin was deceived again when he heard that and his cheeks blushed in surprise. “Thank you...”
“You have a weak voice too, darling, you'd think you were a wimp. But you're not like that at all.” He laughed and took a pair of scissors from Jimin's cheek, just like Yuri had done. “How else would you be mated to an Alpha you don't even know?”
“Taehyung,” Yoongi stepped between them with his imposing figure. “Don't you have anything else to do? Go suck up to my mum again.”
“Ah, why do you say that, Yoongisshi? I just wanted to break the ice with your mate.”
“Jimin is two years older than you. Even though he is a caring person, he doesn't have to put up with your lack of respect.”
Jimin couldn't resist the urge to look up. He looked into the Alpha's eyes, searching for a glimmer of truth in them. It had been said in a casual way. But there was no truth in it. He didn't think he was loving. He wasn't handsome either.
“It's okay, Yoongi. “ He said and took his arm.
Yuri stepped in and smiled insincerely. “Okay, we'll have plenty of time to talk today. Let's get out of here as soon as we can. Mum's been waiting in the garden for minutes.”
Taehyung shrugged his shoulders and went ahead. Jimin stood still, not noticing what was happening. Everything that came out of that beautiful Omega's mouth always seemed wrong to him. Even a beautiful word was like a rose surrounded by thorns and made his hand bleed. But Jimin preferred that he was sincere and not insinuating. Yoongi put Jimin's hat on his head while Yuri walked ahead. “Don't just stand there gawping, go ahead.”
“Ah... Okay.”
Yoongi stopped and looked at him when he stayed behind. He fixed his hat when it covered his eyes. “Well... See you.” Yuri opened the door and looked at them. “Let's say goodbye, lovebirds.”
As Yoongi took the velvet bag of gold coin out of his pocket and threw it to Jimin, the Omega, who caught it at the last moment, asked, “What is it?”
“It's yours, so you can take whatever you want. Don't leave Yuri's side.” He approached him with his hands in his pockets and looked into his face. They probably should have said something nice, since Yuri was still behind them. “Come back to me as soon as you can.”
Jimin tried his best to ignore the words that changed the rhythm of his heart as he tried to smile awkwardly. It was so hard not to get carried away and pretend to get carried away at the same time. “Okay…” As Yoongi leaned down, Jimin's warm lips spontaneously pressed against the Alpha's smooth cheek. “Goodbye.”
Jimin's heart slowed as they left the mansion, leaving the Alpha behind. He stared at the velvet bag in his hands, he had never seen so much money in his life. Yuri chuckled. “What happened? Silly, you can buy anything you want with it. Isn't that enough?”
“I don't want to spend too much.” He explained to himself. “It's too much Yuri noona.”
“Why does your Alpha earn this money if he's not going to spend it on you? Don't worry. It's not too much.”
“Isn't it?”
“Compared to Taehyung's expenses, it's nothing... Keep it between us, but at this rate he'll bankrupt us all.”
Jimin looked at Taehyung out of the corner of his eye as he walked behind them. Maybe he was glowing from spending so much money.
“Isn't he from a noble family already?”
Yuri nodded. “Oh, yes. That's why he's so uptight. His great-grandfather was one of the founders of the Thirteen Great Packs. You can imagine.”
The wolves had split into packs a long time ago. The great warrior alphas had been the leaders who had founded them. In the old days, leadership had been passed down through bloodlines. Later, in many packs, it was determined by a vote. However, due to wars and epidemics, centuries had passed and only seven of these great packs remained. “So Taehyung's family –“
Yuri nodded without finishing. “You've hit the nail on the head. The Kims are... The original leaders of our pack. But since his father doesn't want to take care of things and he doesn't have an alpha brother, Kim Namjoon, who also comes from this line and was chosen by the pack, sits in the leadership seat and he is Taehyung's cousin.” It was the first time Jimin had heard that name. He must have been extremely impressive, even Yuri shivered slightly when she said his name.
“What is he like?”
“He is strong and brave. He has saved us from the brink of war many times, and we owe our prosperity to him.”
“Is everyone in this pack rich?” Jimin knew of some packs where the majority of the people lived on the streets, without a roof over their heads. But he'd never seen anything like this when he'd travelled through this district. They didn't even have a beta market.
“Not everyone. There are a few families. But these big families get together and help the less fortunate members of the pack, it's a tradition. Noble or not, everyone has to do their part to make it work. Namjoon set up this system, and although there was some resistance at first, it worked for us.”
“Sounds good.” Jimin said curiously. “I know some packs where the living conditions were very difficult and sick and child wolves starved to death. If I hadn't been thrown out, I might have died too.”
“Really Jimin…” Shee asked as she took his arm. “Why were you thrown out of the packs? I'm so curious to hear your story, Yoongi is so secretive, he never tells me anything.”
He didn't tell the story because he didn't know it either. “It's a long story…” Jimin said with a sigh. As they walked along the tree-lined path, the snow accumulated on the branches rustled in the wind and fell to the ground. “I'll tell you one day.”
If one day his secret was out and he was still alive.
Ah... He was brave in a life where he had nothing, and now... suddenly he had so much to lose. Yoongi, Yuri Noona, Hoseok Hyung and many others. If this secret couldn't take him to his grave, maybe it would kill him. He swallowed as fear filled him. They were already in the market.
“What are you whispering about back there? Come closer.” Chaerin ordered. “We're getting into the cart.”
Yuri and Jimin looked at each other and quickened their pace. Jimin wrapped himself in his warm cloak and woolly brown gloves. In front of them stood a cart, drawn by two large horses and decorated with fine tulle, just right for a noble family, and Yuri spoke, his jaw almost dropping to the floor. “Here we go…”
“Are we going in the cart? Is it too far?” He had only seen a cart twice before. Usually they were used by rich families or Omegas who couldn't or didn't want to transform horses. But they were so expensive that even some noble families couldn't afford them. “Whose cart is this anyway?”
“Whose will it be, Your Highness Taehyung, our benefactor.” Yuri said sarcastically and took his hand. “Come on, let's not keep them waiting. Our destination is an hour away.”
Grasping her hand, he stepped onto the wooden step and climbed into the cart, plopping down on one of the velour cushions next to Yuri. They were now face to face with Chaerin, Taehyung's mother and Taehyung. Jimin fumbled and looked at the riders visible through the embroidered curtains. Behind him came Betas on two horses. “They will accompany us to make sure nothing happens to us.” Yuri said, recognising the look in his eyes.
“I see…” He said quietly, feeling the two people's eyes on him and hesitating to look at them.
“Is this your first time in the car?”
Taehyung's question was confirmation. He raised his eyes. “Yes.”
“I feel sorry for you, it must be so hard to walk everywhere.”
Jimin didn't react and instead enjoyed the moment, bouncing on the bumps as the car moved, Jimin squeezing Yuri's arm every time they jumped. “Don't be afraid.” She whispered into his ear. “You'll get used to it.”
An hour passed and the journey ended at a crowded inn. During that hour, Taehyung, his mother and Chaerin talked non-stop, pretending that the Omega wasn't there. Only once Chaerin asked him. “Don't you have any relatives coming to the wedding?”
“No, Mrs.” He said without further ado. “I have lost all my family members.” “What a pity…” Chaerin muttered and turned to the window. It was obvious that she couldn't bear to see her son make such a big mistake. But did God know better than she? They were soul mates. Although Jimin choked on his words, he remained silent and enjoyed the experience of the car.
But for Jimin it was an indescribable experience, fear, excitement and the wonder of experiencing something new.
It was a few minutes before they arrived when Taehyung's mother called out to him. “You get along well with Yuri, she doesn't get along with everyone... She's selective.”
Jimin looked at her, surprised that she was talking to him, and nodded his head. “Then I'm very lucky, Mrs.”
“Call me Rina-shi.” Jimin was shocked and blushed while Chaerin and Taehyung were stunned. Maybe Risasshi was also selective and had chosen him.
“Okay.”
“I've been watching you for a long time, I hope you don't misunderstand... I'm like that with people I want to get to know. And I can see that you're someone worth getting to know.”
Taehyung grinned, “Mum…” He said. “Are you serious?”
“Am I going to make a joke out of this?”
Yuri chuckled as Taehyung and Chaerin exchanged glances before falling silent. “I told you Jimin, Rina-sshi is a very fair person. I told her just the other day that she would love you.”
‘I've been talked about’ , he thought, but surprisingly in a good way this time. Not used to it, he clasped his hands between his knees and said, “Thank you. Rina-shi.”
“I'd like to sit down and talk to you sometime, I'm interested in your life. Let's see what we can do together.”
The subject was dropped for the time being when the car stopped and Rina got out with the other two. Jimin's knees trembled slightly as he got out of the car with Yuri. A Beta was waiting for them at the top of the stairs. When Taehyung, who got out behind him, did the same, he realised that he had to hold the well-dressed Beta's hand.
Ah, it's been a long time since I was here, Mummy...”
While Taehyung and Chaerin were talking, Jimin's big eyes stopped at the big two-storey building. It looked familiar, but he couldn't place it. “That's the Jeol Inn.” Yuri said from behind him. “They have nice shops for luxury clothes.”
Jeol...Jeol… Yes, he'd been here once. He was sure of it. The orange tiled walls and black roofs of the inn reminded him of bad things. He swallowed, his palms sweating. It was a long time ago. He had been lost and had thrown himself into this inn, unable to spend the night in the forest. With no money and no scales, he'd spent three days scrounging for dry bread. When they'd found out he wasn't part of a pack, he'd started to attract bad attention. When one Alpha almost caught him, another strange Alpha rescued him and took him back to his own pack. So he had a new pack and was working in that old Alpha's house. How many adventures was that, how long had it been? He was only a child then. But the fear was still alive.
He was ready to do anything to avoid those dark days again. Even if it meant lying to his soulmate... He wanted to be somewhere safe and survive.
“What happened? Your face turned white, Jimin.”
Jimin shook his head, lowered his eyes and followed Chaerin. “Nothing…”
“Shall we take a look inside first?” Chaerin suggested as they passed a large shop. “The fabrics here are of poor quality, I like silk, you know.” Taehyung scoffed, pointing to another shop across the street. “Let's go in there.”
Chaerin didn't argue. “You check out the other shops.” The woman suggested as they walked. It was even better for Jimin, he wouldn't be watched, and he was about to agree when Yuri said, “I hear the silks there are very good. We'll buy Jimin a nightgown.”
Jimin couldn't look at either of them because he was blushing. He was in the mood to go wherever someone took him. “I don't mind.” He said quietly.
“Silk, huh?” Chaerin laughed meaningfully. “I guess Omega can't do without it.”
“He has refined tastes, just like Taehyung, and his name isn't Omega, Mum.”
Jimin squeezed Yuri's arm. “It's okay, what if I don't wear silk?” Yuri looked at him as if to warn him. He fell silent, caught between two fires. Silk. He had never seen such luxury in his life. Not even close.
“ Do whatever you want.” Chaerin said as she followed her other daughter-in-law. Rina had gone as far as a shop on the right to buy her own custom-made clothes. “Be at Suno's shop for hanbok.”
“Okey, Mum.” Yuri said and followed her. “Suno's Shop?” Jimin asked curiously.
“He makes the best hanboks, so you're in luck.”
“Is that so?” Jimin had heard about the quality of the products sold in Jeol, but he had never had the chance to see them. Part of him was melting with excitement. The other part wanted to go back to the pack right away. Malicious feelings crawled inside him.
“Yes, Taehyung had placed his orders weeks in advance. We haven't counted how many hanboks he's having sewn.” They laughed and continued to follow the duo in front of them. A few minutes later, they entered a large shop with a pleasant atmosphere. Unique, elegant hanbok suits hung in every corner of the shop. They looked so inaccessible that Jimin felt tiny. He had already decided that he didn't want to buy anything here. Yuri tugged at his sleeve as he stood in the doorway as if he'd been knocked down. “Come here.”
“Maybe we should look somewhere else?” He suggested in a weak voice. “What for?” he was quickly countered.
“I don't know... They're too flashy.”
“I'm sure there's something here for you too. Come on.” He let her pull him, not wanting to stand up to Yuri. Taehyung was already surrounded by well-dressed Omegas and Betas. They all asked him questions and praised his appearance. Jimin saw Chaerin looking at him with envy and pride as he watched them from a distance.
Would anyone look at him like that?
Taehyung said, “I want to try your most beautiful model, and I'll also try the orders I placed a few weeks ago. I hope you got it done. I'm getting married soon. You're getting rid of me now.” He laughed, and the people around him laughed in agreement. “We are always at your service, Omega Taehyung.”
“Oh, you're so sweet.” He looked around. “Let's sit down and catch our breath, Mummy. Can you bring us some winter tea, please?” He took Chaerin's hand and pulled her towards the white cushions. Yuri and Jimin looked around as well. Yuri called out, “Excuse me?” As she examined the satin fabrics in the suitcases hanging on the hanger.
The woman who approached them smiled. “Yes, Yuri-shi.” She said to Yuri. “Won't you join your mother?”
“Oh no, we're just going to try on some clothes.” She looked at Jimin out of the corner of her eye.
Her eyes widened. “So it's a double wedding! I'm so happy Yuri, who's the lucky Alpha?”
“Oh, no, no, no. I'm not getting married.” She was about to correct the misunderstanding when the woman said, “I think you're one of the maids.” She looked at Jimin out of the corner of her eye.
“What does that have to do with anything, Wonhee?” Yuri snapped and Jimin bowed his head and wanted to disappear. He had no right to be angry with her. He seemed so worthless in this world. “This is Yoongi's Omega, Park Jimin.”
The woman blushed and looked at Jimin for a moment. Jimin lowered his head slightly and bowed. He didn't even have anything to say. “I'm so sorry.” She said. “I... When I saw the clothes you were wearing, I...”
“Okey, stop it.” Yuri interrupted. “He's already a Min. From now on you'll treat him the same way you treat Taehyung.”
“Of course, Miss, of course. You'll have to excuse her.” Said the shopkeeper who had witnessed the incident. He rushed over and took charge of the situation. When he stood in front of Jimin and put his hand to his lips, Jimin choked up in surprise. “Nice to meet you, Jimin. We have the perfect pieces for you, trust us and we'll bring out your beauty.”
“Ah... Well I…”
“Yuri, how's this?” He asked, interrupting him as he showed him what he was holding in his hand. Jimin took the opportunity to pull his hand away and hide behind Yuri. This Alpha had scared him. Actually, every Alpha except Yoongi scared him. After all, he had spent his life running away from them. “Yeah... I like it, Noona.”
“You didn't even look.”
It didn't matter. Yoongi wouldn't see him no matter what he wore.
“I looked...Very nice.”
“And this?” This time he pulled out a light brown hanbok with red stripes. “This is nice too.” He confirmed. It was beautiful, really. Whatever he saw was beautiful to him.
“With your permission, let me take your measurements and we'll decide on a model accordingly.” Jimin panicked when Omega came with a measuring tape. He didn't want to take off his coat in public. He was still wearing his plain and ordinary clothes. But before he could object, he found himself in front of a full-length mirror. His coat was already taken off and thrown aside. Jimin could see Taehyung in the mirror while the two Omegas measured him. The others were gathered around his head and he tried on a glamorous silk hanbok in the cubicle.
“How skinny you are.” One of the Omegas said. Jimin didn't know what to say, so he just smiled. Of course he was thin. It wasn't like he had a choice. “All right. We have some nice models for you, if you wait here I'll get them for you.”
“Okey, I'll wait.”
As he waited, he realised he had lost sight of Yuri and turned to find her chatting with Chaerin. The old woman shot him piercing glances from time to time. While he waited, the Omega arrived and led him into one of the booths, closing the red veil. Jimin felt very lonely. He wished Yuri was with him to help him get dressed. But no, when these expert Omegas started to undress him, he realised that this was actually their job.
He looked at the Omegas in panic. ‘I can do it’ , he wanted to say, but he was silent. Fortunately, they hadn't stripped him naked and he had avoided showing his flowers at the last moment. He sighed in relief and touched the cloth that covered him. Within minutes, he was wearing his three-piece red and green wedding outfit. It was the first hanbok he had ever tried on in his life. Maybe her mother had made him wear it when he was a baby, but he couldn't remember. “Come out and look at yourself.”
Jimin did as he was told and came out of the wooden dressing room. He was glad to see Yuri there. The Beta's eyes brightened and softened at the sight of him. “Jimin! Look at you!”
“No?” He said sceptically, looking at himself. Then he remembered the full-length mirror. He could see himself very clearly in the mirror with the candles burning on both sides.
It was simply different. It was not the face he saw in the reflection. His blonde hair was puffed up and he had a confused expression on his face. The long skirt of the hanbok covered him everywhere and his inner trousers were not visible. Around his waist was an embroidered belt. “The belt is embroidered with gold thread.” Omega said, listing its features. “The cloth is also a very valuable one, brought from faraway lands.”
Taehyung came out of the stall at that moment and stood next to him in front of the mirror. He held his skirts in his hands and looked so beautiful in this red embroidered hanbok that Jimin found himself admiring him. Omega, on the other hand, saw no one but himself. He hurriedly sorted things out. “There's a pot in the waist, the model I sent you wasn't like this... Disappointing again.”
“Let's look at our other model then...”
“Why don't you meet any of my requests? Do I want something difficult? Then I'll find another tailor...You can relax and so can I...”
Chaerin and Rina tried to calm him down. “Don't be sad Taehyung, look how good it looks. What don't you like about it?”
“Mum, come on, don't comfort me. I'm having a wedding, everything has to be perfect!”
“You're right.”
“Okay. You're not the only one who's getting married. Don't make a big deal out of it, it'll work out, son.” Rina said.
“Try the other model, Jimin.” Yuri told him and Jimin snapped out of his reverie. He slowly walked back to the stall and let them take off his clothes and put on another one. “Are these too expensive?” He asked quietly to the Beta who was tying his belt.
The Beta looked at him as if she saw a monster, but she replied. “Everything here is very expensive.”
“Which one is cheaper?” He pointed to the hanboks hanging on the wall that he wanted to try on. Beta was preparing the embroidered white veil designed for the wedding hanbok. “I don't know, sir.” She said. “Both are worth at least three hundred gold coin.”
Jimin froze.
She had said three hundred gold coin. That was more than he had earned in his whole life. When he worked sixteen hours a day, he got four silver coin a month. He was speechless.
When he came out, Yuri looked at him. “What's the matter? Why is your face so white... Do you want some water?”
“No.” He didn't even look at himself. “Shall we get some somewhere else...These don't suit me.”
“That's a good idea.” Chaerin said, waiting for Taehyung on his right. “Look at the way they hang on you. Not everyone can carry Suno.”
She said it so quietly that only the three of them could hear it. Chaerin didn't want to do anything that would embarrass him in front of the others, so they wouldn't get a bad name. “Mum…” Yuri said.
“Your mum's right, look... This is weird.”
“No, sweetheart, not at all.” She took his arm and turned him towards the mirror. “Look at you, you look like a fairy. You just need to eat a bit more before the wedding.”
‘Like a fairy…’ Jimin smiled mockingly. Chaerin was about to open her mouth when the Alpha approached them. “You never told us about Jimin.” He said. “So our eternal bachelor is getting married. Say hello to Yoongi and I'll give him a wedding present.” He handed Jimin a small velvet box. “It would be better if you gave it to him.”
Chaerin mumbled unhappily. “You know our boy, he's unpredictable. He had closed himself off because of his previous omega... We're glad he's coming to his senses now.”
“I heard you were going to marry him off to one of your pack, but I thought that was an Omega girl, don't get me wrong...”
Yuri interrupted him. “Thank you for your gift Alpha Woosung, yes you heard wrong, Yoongi is marrying Jimin. He's very much in love with him and has even mated with him. Now if you'll excuse us, we're going to try on the hanbok.”
“I'll leave you two alone.” the Alpha said and walked away. He had already heard what he would hear.
Jimin stood there with the box in his hand. “What are you waiting for? Have you decided yet?” Chaerin asked. “Are you going to take it or not?”
Jimin looked indecisively at the mirror and his mother-in-law, then gritted his teeth. Enough of being looked down upon. His Alpha had paid the price. Taehyung came out at that moment, this time wearing the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. It was dazzling with its skirt adorned with glittering stones crawling on the floor and its stone belt. “This hanbok is very special.” Said the Omega's assistant. He held a diamond crown in his hand. “It is the most expensive hanbok ever sewn, and no one has yet been brave enough to buy it. See how it suits you? No one has ever worn it as well as you.”
“Mummy, I love it.”
Chaerin tried to smile. “How much is it?”
“One thousand five hundred gold coin.”
Jimin almost fainted. He turned to the mirror and made up his mind. “Shall we take this?” He asked in a whisper as Yuri adjusted the buckle of the belt behind his back. The young Beta smiled. “That's it! And the fabric is very nice, it's comfortable... We could embroider it on the chest, it would be beautiful.”
He didn't think so, but nodded anyway. “I wonder what Yoongi will buy?”
“If you don't like it, we'll change it, you'll see when we get back.” She pointed at the box in his hand. “Open it.”
“But it's not mine.”
“You mean Yoongi and Yoongi means you. Just open it.”
His ear drifted back to Taehyung. “I want this. It's definitely this one. I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life.”
“Darling, we've only tried on two models, you haven't even looked at the ones that were made for you.” Chaerin said desperately.
“Mummy, is this about money?” He asked as he put on the Omega crown. Rina, on the other hand, watched Chaerin flush and flush and did not intervene. Taehyung took strength from this. “It's not a problem, my father will take care of you if you're in trouble.”
The woman turned red with anger, “Not at all, where did you see the omega's family buying the hanbok, my dear?”
“Well, that's settled then.” Jimin and Taehyung exchanged glances as he hugged her happily. Taehyung blinked as if he had just noticed him. Then he walked over to him, adjusted the pink collar of his hanbok and put a hand on his shoulder. “Jiminie, you look so cute. It's so you. Unpretentious and casual.”
Jimin almost believed he was going to say something nice. “I don't like being in the public eye. I just need to get my Alpha's attention.” He said as his jaw tensed and his eyes dropped to the ground. It had been a challenging day enough, and the last thing he wanted was to get into even a small argument with Kim Taehyung.
“How nice... How nice…” He said. “Good thing you landed on your feet. You clever Omega.”
Yuri interjected with a cough, Jimin would have collapsed without her and her saviour interrupting. “Taehyung…” She said warningly.
“What did I say?” He muttered and walked away. She approach to Jimin and muttered “Antipathetic.”
Ten minutes later Jimin and Yuri had decided on the last hanbok he had tried on and bought it. Jimin had to give away most of the gold coin his Alpha had given him. He was sorry, he had never spent so much money before. They bought the rest in a cheaper shop. Fortunately, Taehyung and Chaerin continued their hanbok shopping and they both breathed a sigh of relief. Yuri managed to make Jimin laugh every chance she got by saying something to put Taehyung down.
“Seriously, Jimin, look, I'm teasing, but you're not upset about it, are you? You're not pretending to laugh, are you? They're... How shall I put it? A bit harsh. Rina-shi isn't like that at all, she's very mature and understanding, but Taehyung... Ah, he's a pain in the ass!” She rolled her eyes. “You've only known him for a few days. What about me? I knew him from the moment he was born.”
“Ah...”
“And you know what's worse? Taehyung doesn't even realise how unbearable he is. Everyone loves him, he's never seen it any other way. He's a golden boy who's never had to fight for anything, everything he wants is right in front of him as soon as he says it. That's why I always say he needs a good life lesson, watch him become a real person.”
As they started to browse through the clothes shop, Jimin's eyes fell on the nightgowns on the racks. He looked away and turned back to the conversation. “Don't worry. I'm not upset, it's enough that you think of me, Noona. You're so kind... I feel like I've found a lost sister. The rest doesn't matter.”
When Yuri heard this, she let out a little scream and pulled Jimin close to herself. “You're so silly! You know, I feel the same way. I'm really warming up to you. Yoongi really hit the jackpot. They say I'm usually cold, I don't like people very much. Rina is right.”
“I'm very lucky.” He said in a low voice. He couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with the fact that he and Yoongi were soul mates. Yuri loved and cherished him so much. And he was keeping a secret from her, playing a dirty game right in front of her. It was like being in the grave.
“Let's get a set for both of you. You don't have a dowry yet. We must hurry. We can buy them at our market. Of course, handicrafts are a must, we'll make them together.”
Jimin nodded quickly, he knew nothing about handicrafts, he felt guilty. He didn't have a single skill that could help him in this new life. They looked at the dowry sets in front of them. When one of the betas asked them what they needed, Yuri spoke to her.
“Let's look for the most elaborate dowry set. It doesn't have to include small things, we'll take care of that.”
“Well, actually...” He paused, biting his lip. “I need to tell you something.”
Yuri frowned and put his hand over his mouth before he could speak. “Oh, my God! Are you pregnant?”
Jimin was so surprised that his eyes widened and his cheeks turned pink. “W-what no! Of course not! Noona, it's nothing like that!”
Yuri breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God. I don't know, dear, you like surprises. After all, you are mated, it's not impossible.”
“No.” He said quickly. He didn't even want to think about it. It was such a remote possibility. His mark seemed to tingle, painfully, agonisingly. “I was going to say, I don't know how to knit, I don't know anything about needlework... My mother didn't stay with me long enough to teach me. She flew away like a bird.”
Jimin was worried when Yuri's lips trembled. When the Beta hugged him, he stood still. “Oh Jimin, are you going to make me cry? I'll teach you! Are you crazy?”
“Aren't you angry?”
“Angry!”
“I don't know... You know these things an Omega should know, I know nothing. You would have been right to be angry.”
“It's not a shame not to know, it's a shame not to learn. And what's the big deal? We can afford everything, you don't need to knit anything.”
“I want to learn... I always wanted to learn.”
“Okay then. Let's do it immediately, and after the wedding we can go to knitting meetings together.”
“Thank you, Noona.” He smiled and patted her hand warmly. Meanwhile, the dowry sets were laid out in front of him. From cotton towels and bath sets to combs and woollen undergarments, there was everything needed for the cold winter. Jimin looked at the small piece of cloth on the right. It was a tiny nightgown, dark red with lace. It was not suitable for winter! Even if it wasn't winter, it wouldn't be appropriate, he would never wear it. Yuna noticed and laughed when his eyes widened. “You must have liked it.”
“What? No!”
“You're right. Yoongi would've liked it too.”
“I didn't say I liked it.”
“Exactly, we should definitely buy it.”
Jimin gave in to her rhetoric. He studied the towels out of the corner of his eye, praying that he wouldn't die of embarrassment. He couldn't even imagine wearing them. But something happened that he hadn't thought of. Yuri made him buy the dowry that included the nightgown. By force! If it had been up to him, he would have just bought some towels and underwear.
“Noona…” He said bitterly. “You didn't have to...”
“I'll see you when you're in heat.” She clipped his cheek. “You can thank me later.”
Heat. Ah... and then there was that. Their game was going to get tougher and tougher, and if Jimin was lucky, he'd walk away with minimal damage. If he didn't put his heart on the line, it wouldn't hurt. But he felt that his heart was pure and he would be fooled into taking anything for hope. A touch, a kiss...
It would be a waste of his feelings.
“Let's buy some clothes, casual or special occasion.”
Jimin looked at it, it was the most important thing. Just something that would make him look better and they wouldn't mistake him for a maid. Yuri quickly found a white cashmere jumper with an open collar and thick fabric trousers. She sent them to the fitting room. Jimin was a different person when he came out. It was a nice change from all the hanboks he had been wearing. Like a real Omega. As he looked at himself, Yuri came up from behind. She wrapped a dark green scarf with floral embroidery around his neck and closed the mark. “How is it?”
“It's beautiful.” He said stiffly. The fabric of his clothes was soft. He looked even more beautiful when he put on his cloak. “I like it very much.”
“Now you're like a married Omega...” She smiled sincerely. “Only mated Omegas wear scarves like that.”
“Is that so?” He shook his head. “I didn't know.”
After two hours of shopping, they entered the tavern's liquor store. Carrying large, bulky packages, they waited for Rina, Chaerin and Taehyung. The betas with them had stayed behind to protect the Kim family. Jimin felt very insecure and asked to sit down at a table in the corner. His feet hurt and he wanted to rest wherever he could.
Even if the memories of this inn were not good, it was all over now, he was a new Omega. Then something happened that he hadn't expected. As they drank their hot tea, he saw Lucas drinking soju in front of the bar. The crazy Alpha he had tried so hard to forget. His blood ran cold. The reason for the bad feeling inside him was now revealed. His eyes were glued to the Alpha. He was distracted when Taehyung and the betas entered with a loud bang.
Following Taehyung, Lucas' eyes found Jimin and the poor Omega wanted to hide under the table. All faces turned to them as Taehyung slumped down at the table and began to complain about his exhaustion. Normally, it was frowned upon for Omegas to sit alone in an inn. But this was Kim Taehyung, and the Beta guards around him confirmed it.
The Alpha stood up and made jerky movements towards them with the bottle in his hand. Jimin looked around, unsure of what to do. Yuri realised something was wrong. Taehyung frowned as Lucas sat down across from them, unbidden. “Who the hell are you?” The burly Betas behind him were about to attack him, but Taehyung stopped them.
“You're Park Jimin.” He said, pointing with his index finger. He was drunk. “Oh my God! I was looking for you on the ground and found you in the sky. Small world, isn't it? Where have you been all this time?”
Jimin started to shake. Icy sweat ran down his back.
“Yes, Park Jimin.” Taehyung replied. “And who are you, freak? How can you sit at our table like that? Do you know who I am?”
“That's a good place, how did you manage that?” The man looked directly at Jimin. His dark eyes were full of danger and it was doubtful if he could even hear Taehyung. Jimin almost cried. What was he going to tell them, he had to explain. The stalker he had been trying to get rid of for months? He was annoying, the Alpha, he had been kicked out of the pack many times. That was why he had attracted Jimin's attention, why he had taken pleasure in annoying him and making his life miserable. He had even tried to mark him, which made Jimin dizzy when he remembered it.
“Take him away.” Yuri ordered the Betas. “Get out of here and never come near our family again. I don't know how you know Jimin, but he's a Min now. So you idiot, get lost.”
“I'll find you Jimin. I know where you are now.” Lucas said with a laugh as the betas dragged him out. It was Taehyung who asked Jimin a question. “Who was he?”
“No one.” Jimin said, his eyes watering with fear.
“He knows you, what do you mean no one? Does Yoongi know?”
“Taehyung, it's none of your business. He's obviously sick.” Yuri snapped and turned to the Omega who was staring at the exit door with fearful eyes. “I'm not going to ask you who he is, but if he's hurt you and he's going to hurt you, talk to your Alpha, okay?”
He stammered as the shaking slowly subsided. “O-okay.” But what was he going to say. He just hoped he would never see him again. He didn't want to be anyone's problem. He couldn't find him, could he?
His past was haunting him.
When they returned home in silence a few hours later, first the bought ones were moved into the new house by Junhee and her helpers. Jimin couldn't look at the house because he wasn't allowed to see it. So he waited in his room with horrible scenarios in his head for his Alpha's return. Good things had happened today, he had gotten a lot of good things and now he looked like an Omega. Maybe Yoongi would think differently about him.
Jimin couldn't even think about that. Seeing Lucas today had broken him, devastated him. No matter how far he went, his past would haunt him. He'd always tried to protect himself, through no fault of his own. But everyone was waiting to trip him up.
He paced the room, feeling nauseous. Dinner was just around the corner and he didn't want to look anyone in the face. He stayed in his room. When the Alphas arrived home ten minutes before dinner, Yoongi's first impulse was to go up to the small room where his Omega was kept, as Yuri insisted. He opened the door and entered. At first, he didn't recognise the Omega sitting on the end of the bed. It was Jimin. But it was the first time he had seen him look tidy. He was dressed neatly and smartly. Yes, he was still thin and frail, pale and tired. But he was different.
“Jimin.”
Omega got to his feet when he heard him coming. “Yoongi.”
“How was your day?” He asked, just to ask. But he could tell at first glance that something wasn't right.
“It was good...”Jimin actually had a lot to say, but he didn't feel like it, he was scared and worried. “They carried my purchases home.”
“Do you like your hanbok?”
“Yes.”
“Was the money I gave you enough?”
“It's more than enough.” He held out the bag on the bedside table, there were a few gold coins left. “Take this... I've spent too much already.”
“It's your money, I'll be giving you money on a regular basis, don't you dare give it back to me.” He said, turning the velvet bag over and handing him the cardboard box. “This is my hanbok, Yuri insisted I show it to you, you have to approve it.”
“I'm sure it's beautiful.” He absentmindedly handed him the wedding present the Alpha had given him. “He gave me this too.”
“Aren't you curious?” Yoongi was surprised, Jimin was strange today. He took the box and opened it, there was a nice brooch in the shape of a fox. He closed it annoyed but put it in his pocket anyway. “Who gave it to you?”
“The guy who sells hanbok.”
He put the box in his pocket and put his own hanbok on Jimin's bed. “Keep it here, it should be in the same place as yours.” Jimin's hanbok was inside the package so he couldn't see it.
“Okay.” The Omega said reluctantly. He felt sick to his stomach, even sicker when he smelled the Alpha's faint scent. His soul screamed that he couldn't lie to him about this.
“Are you sure you're all right?”
He shook his head. “I'm just tired.”
“Okay. Let's go down for dinner then.”
He nodded and followed the Alpha. Dinner was a feast as usual. The table was full and Jimin wasn't hungry, even though he hadn't eaten all day. He dipped the spoon into the meaty miso soup and brought it to his lips. But there was no way he could eat, his stomach was in his mouth. He put the spoon down and tried to eat the kimchi this time. Luckily, everyone was too busy eating to notice him. Then the Alpha next to him leaned over. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yes, I'm fine.”
“Why aren't you eating, don't you like it? I can have something else prepared if you wish.” He was so interested, it was like torture, all this pretending. Jimin tried to smile and protested. “No, everything is delicious, I just don't feel like it. Thank you.”
“Are you sure?”
Chaerin put the spoon down. “He'll eat what everyone else is eating, it's delicious.”
“Yes, ma'am, it's delicious.”
“Then why don't you eat?” She snapped. Her eyebrows were raised. “You have to be fit for the wedding, you're so thin... People look at you with pity.”
“Mum...” Yoongi said through clenched teeth. But he had to stop when Jimin grimaced and put his hand to his mouth as if he was going to vomit. “Excuse me.”
“Are you...” Chaerin's eyes widened and all eyes at the table turned to Jimin. “Are you pregnant?”
“What!” Asked Taehyung, his world would fall apart if he was pregnant. He deserved to give this family their first grandchild. Not the Omega who came yesterday!
Jimin froze, for a moment even his nausea was cured. She was the second person to ask him today. He reacted the same way as the first time and quickly tried to deny it. Then his eyes met Yoongi's. The poor Alpha stared at him for a few seconds, his spoon frozen in his hand. “No.” He said, then tried to compose himself because Jimin wouldn't do it. “That's not possible. It's too soon. Don't worry.”
He had dispelled all doubts in one sentence, it's not possible.
“I told you - I feel nauseous, maybe tired.”
Taehyung breathed a sigh of relief. He thought of the Alpha they had seen today and revealed the secret as he popped a piece of meat into his mouth. “Is it because of that Alpha?” He asked with a worried voice. “Oh dear... He must have been a bad influence on you.”
“Which Alpha?” Yoongi frowned, he had stopped eating.
“Don't you know?” Taehyung pressed his lips together, “I think I've exposed his secret.”
“What Alpha is he talking about, Jimin?” Yoongi kept his voice calm and looked at his trembling Omega. Obviously something had happened and was being kept from him. “Tell me.”
“It's nobody important.” He said in a low voice. His heart was in his mouth, he couldn't reveal his past, not in front of his family. “Let's talk later, okay?”
Chaerin said, “Is he talking about the punk we saw in the tavern today?” Lucas had left before Chaerin and Rina arrived. But they had seen him thrown into the garden.
Taehyung drank his drink. “Yes, Mummy, he was very scary. He came and sat at our table, I thought he was going to hurt us. He doesn't seem like the kind of person who belongs in our family. How Jimin knew him... I have no idea, he told us he didn't recognise him.”
Jimin couldn't stand the pressure any longer and apologised with tears streaming from his eyes. He quickly got up from the table and threw himself outside into the fresh air to empty his stomach. He ran to the snow-covered bushes beside the chicken coop. He held on to a gnarled tree trunk as he vomited, shaking from hand to foot.
As he stood panting, he suddenly felt something on his shoulders. He startled and locked eyes with Yoongi. Ah, he had arrived. His biggest problem and his cure. As if that wasn't enough, he had dropped his own brown jacket onto his trembling shoulders. “You're going to freeze, let's go inside and rest.”
“I want some air.” He said shyly. “Go back to dinner, I'll be right back.”
“I'm going to eat while you're here throwing up?” He put his hand on his waist and looked at him. “What kind of mate am I going to be?”
Jimin stopped himself from wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he didn't want to ruin his new clothes. “I'm sorry.” He said, looking down in embarrassment. “I didn't mean to bother you... I don't know how it happened.”
“You must have been stressed.” This time he handed the Omega a cloth napkin from his pocket. I think the Alpha had a lot of them, they came to his aid whenever he needed them. “Thank you.” “Come sit over here.” Yoongi ordered, pulling him by the shoulders as he quickly wiped his mouth.
Jimin thanked him again as he sat down on the divan in the conservatory. He still felt a little nauseous because there was no escape now. He couldn't help but tell his Alpha about this. Taehyung had somehow put him in a difficult position again. He had to make the best of it and get out of this mess as quickly as possible.
Yoongi asked with a disinterested voice as he stood and looked at the flowers around him. “What is Taehyung talking about? Is it... Is it really about that Alpha? You have to tell me, Jimin. Otherwise I can't help you.”
“I didn't want to drag you into this.” He said weakly. “You're in enough trouble. And it's not like that, it's not like you think...”
“I don't think anything. I'm just asking.”
“His name is Lucas.” He said, shivering. Then he wrapped himself tightly in the Alpha's coat. The snow was falling, but they were in the conservatory, so it wasn't too cold. “I met him in the old pack, the Jung Pack. Somehow he found out that I was an outcast and a lonely Omega. That's why he came after me. I was working as a maid in a house at the time." He swallowed, it hurt to say it, the Alpha staring intently into his eyes. "He was a sickly Alpha who wasn't well liked in the pack, and he'd been kicked out of many packs like me. I avoided him like the plague and he enjoyed it. And when he got fed up with him, I left the pack of my own free will. And that was a first, the first time I had left a pack of my own free will.” Out of the corner of his eye, he saw that the Alpha believed him. He wondered if he would have been so understanding if he had told him about his flowers.
“Did he hurt you?”
“N-no.” He said quickly, but it had happened. Lucas had cornered him and tried to mark him when he'd gone outside the pack to do a chore, and he'd been rescued by passersby and then left the pack. Sick and tired of this life of pain, he met Yoongi a few months later. Just when he thought he was on the last slope of his life, he reached the straight line.
“What did he say to you today?”
“Not much, the Betas have already chased him away.”
“You must tell me everything.” He said as he crouched down beside him. It was the first time his voice had sounded so soft and caring. “Don't be afraid. You are no longer alone. You are part of this family. No one can hurt you now.”
Was that for real? He sniffled as tears filled his eyes. He had never known what it was like to lean on someone, to trust them unconditionally.
“That's it.” He said. “Nothing else happened. I was so afraid today because... I thought you might misunderstand me. I know my past is no bed of roses, but... I was afraid of falling further in your eyes. I swear I have never had a relationship with an Alpha. I didn't see you as a saviour. I married you because you gave me trust-“
“You don't have to explain, I believe you and I don't care what people at home think.”
“But your mother misunderstood...”
“I'll talk to him.”
Jimin nodded slightly. “I apologise again.”
“I just... I expected you to answer when I asked you what happened to you. It's better that I hear from you than from someone else about an important detail of your life. Remember that, okay?” Jimin just nodded as he stood up, not a word came out of his mouth, he couldn't. How could he? He was lying to his Alpha right in front of him. His throat tightened. “Okay.” Was all he could say.
“Let's go inside. You rest, I'll have Junhee make you some herbal tea.”
“Thanks for taking care of me.”
Yoongi stopped and looked at him as he went on. “No problem.” After waiting for him to catch up, they went inside together. Yoongi led him to his room. “Don't worry about the people downstairs, I'll take care of it, just rest.”
Just then Junhee arrived with a tray of fruit. Yoongi had also asked for it. “Here you go, sir.”
“Take care of him Junhee, make sure he's well fed.” Yoongi reached for Jimin's cheek and gently stroked the soft skin before leaving the room. But long after he was gone, his touch still felt like a searing pain.
Chapter 12: Transformation
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
- "The wish I whispered, when it all began, did it forge a love you might never have found?*
Jimin would have loved to calm down for the rest of the night and bury Lucas deep in his mind, but he was nowhere near that. Yoongi had grabbed him and taken him to his room and had given Junhee lots of instructions, if he didn't know better he would have thought he was taking care of him. As he popped the juicy and delicious orange slice into his mouth, he consoled himself and thought about those moments. But soon he was haunted by memories of what had happened in the tavern. The fearless black eyes that seemed capable of anything, the dirty grin and the threatening words that came out of his mouth...
Lucas was the embodiment of his fears, he couldn't get rid of him no matter what he did.
What was it that made him so scary? There had been Alphas and even Betas who had groped him before, but none had gone as far as Lucas. For some reason there was a feeling he couldn't understand. He was afraid it might lead to something worse, maybe that was it. Maybe it was because he had told Jimin in the tavern today that he would find him.
Maybe he was afraid because he knew that he could. Not for himself, but for his new family, who still didn't like him very much. For Yoongi, for Yuri, even for Chaerin.
He couldn't eat more than a few slices of orange and a slice of honey-cinnamon bread toasted over a wood fire, his stomach was still too sensitive. He turned out the light from the oil lamp and rested his head on the soft pillow, watching the flames in the fireplace with his eyes. After Yoongi and Junhee left, no one came to visit him. Only every now and then, after midnight, he heard doors opening and closing, footsteps walking down the hall. He wished Yoongi had been there to comfort him. But he would have asked him to do something he couldn't.
When he finally fell asleep in the early morning, he had to get up a few hours later to go downstairs to breakfast. When he opened his eyes, he grimaced, feeling a pain in his throat and chest. He didn't have time to think. Thanks to Yuri, who knocked on the door a little later. “How's our sweet Omega?”
Jimin sat up and leaned his back against the wooden headboard, smiling tiredly. “I'm fine, Noona...”
“You had us worried yesterday.”
“There's nothing to worry about, I'm really sorry.” He said sincerely. He was really sorry. He didn't want anyone to worry about him, because he was the one to blame. He'd failed to get rid of Lucas and he'd messed everything up. He prayed he wouldn't get into any more trouble.
“I'm sorry, I should have kicked his arse when I realised Alpha was bothering you.” She stroked his hair. “Don't hide things like that from Yoongi, okay? If you have an Alpha, he'll be happy to fight for you. But if you hide it, you'll hurt Yoongi. He's more fragile than he looks.”
He thought Yoongi was many things, but fragile had never been one of them. It was a side of him he never showed, and maybe he never would. He nodded his head thoughtfully, fiddling with his hands in his lap. “You're right, that's what he said. I made a mistake.”
“You didn't make a mistake. For your information.” She took his hand in her lap, her grip warm and firm. “You're so inexperienced, it's natural not to know what to do where. It's natural to panic.”
“I was going to tell him after dinner...” He had planned it that way. “But when Taehyung suddenly said that...”
She laughed and rolled her eyes as if mocking the situation. “I scolded him, don't worry.”
“What? When?”
“When you went out to throw up.” Shrugging, she played with the embroidery in the corners of the duvet. “He deserved it.”
“I don't want you two to get on bad terms, I'm not upset or angry with him.”
“But how? How can you be so calm? He should learn to keep his nose out of things that don't concern him.”
“I don't know, I guess I'm used to people like that. Besides, he's two years younger than me, he's like my little brother. I don't want to get angry.”
“Oh Jimin...” She smiled warmly at him. “We have a lot to learn from you, such a mature point of view.”
“Breakfast is ready! Where are they?” Chaerin's voice called from downstairs. They both straightened up as Jimin sent her off, quickly pulling on a casual and comfortable dark sweater and pants. They were the same ones he had bought yesterday and had already been put in the wardrobes by the betas.
Neither Yoongi nor the other Alphas were at breakfast. Yuri satisfied his curiosity when Jimin asked quietly from his chair on the right. All Alphas were at the council that meets once a month. Important decisions are made there. I heard the news last night.
“Dohyun told me that a pack of savages is gathering nearby and that they'll cause trouble.”
Yuri, who had started to eat while his mother worried, was relaxed. “Not with Namjoon-shi as the leader, Mum.”
Jimin swallowed hard as the two of them started a conversation he didn't understand. There was no one else at the table except Chaerin and the two of them. The table felt empty and cold. Jimin had inevitably gotten used to Yoongi's presence. A single sincere interest was enough to keep him going, no matter how distant and cold it was. Jimin listened to Chaerin while he moved the boiled potato pieces around in his mouth. “The wedding is in a few days. I'm going to Jeol with Taehyung to tie up loose ends, and he has a few requests for jewellery. I have to get them.”
“There's more? How much did you spend on all this?”
Chaerin turned pale when she heard that. “Don't bring that up, please.”
“He's your kind of Omega, Mum.”
“He is. I'm happy to do whatever he wants. Just think how much our family's reputation will grow after this marriage. The great Eloa. He's a Kim.”
Yuri raised an eyebrow as if he didn't care and popped some fruit into his mouth. Jimin looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Jimin will certainly add to the family's prestige.” She said solemnly. “After all, nobility and maturity don't come from the bloodline.”
Chaerin didn't mind, but still looked at the Omega and asked how he was doing. “Are you no longer nauseous?”
“Yes, Chaerin-shi.” He said in a strong voice.
“Don't ever hide things like that from Yoongi again. I don't know exactly what it is, but it's not something an Alpha would like. If you want to get married so badly, make your Alpha happy.”
“I'll do my best.” His voice cracked, and he couldn't look her in the eye because he was lying. It wasn't the biggest thing he'd ever hidden, of course, but it was small in comparison. He was devastated when he thought about it.
“Anyway, I'm leaving, so you stay here. Go through the guest list Junhee has prepared and send it to the betas. Have them send it to the distant packs. I want everyone to be at the wedding. We'll have the most spectacular wedding they've ever seen. Jimin, you finish the wedding preparations.”
“Yes, Chaerin-shi.”
“We'll take care of it, Mummy, just go.”
Chaerin hesitated. “I hope Omega can read and write.”
When Jimin realised that he was being referred to, he swallowed his food quickly and looked at her. He couldn't. “Well... I'm learning.”
“Great Eloa... What do you mean?”
“'I've never seen the alphabet of your pack, the written language is different where I come from. I come from a faraway pack. But don't worry, I have no trouble speaking, as you can see.” Even though his accent slipped from time to time, he thought he was well isolated in the pack and had a good command of the language.
“Oh, and you were going to be ignorant of our language.” She rolled her eyes. “Although... I wish it were so, then maybe you wouldn't get along and get married.”
Jimin pressed his lips together. Multilingualism was one of the good things he'd picked up while travelling the world. Maybe it would come in handy one day. He had joined many packs and mastered many different scripts. But the ancient language of the Kim Pack was not one of them. What a pity. It was the most important. The native language of his Alpha.
Yuri interrupted angrily. “Mum. When are you going to stop snapping at Jimin every time he opens his mouth? They're getting married in a few days, you can mumble all you want.” She put the wooden spoon down on the table. “He's a patient Omega, but I'm not. You're turning everyone against you.”
“How should I have felt when my word was broken, Yuri!” The woman said, turning to her daughter, her eyes flashing. “I try not to speak, I restrain myself, but you force me. Should I congratulate them? Should I embrace this unknown Omega? You may be indifferent, but I am the mistress of this family. I have certain duties and obligations. I must be sceptical, as you can understand. Do you ever think about the future of this family if I throw everything away and live?”
“So it was better for Yoongi to be unhappy?”
She huffed. “Do you think Yoongi is so happy now?” She pointed at Jimin again. “Do you think he loves this Omega? Whatever feelings he has now will soon pass. Then Yoongi will realise what a mistake he made and regret it. But it's pointless. He'll make it hard for Jimin and himself, I know my son well, unlike you.”
Jimin gently put down his fork, wiped his lips on a purple napkin and asked for permission to leave the table. “Chaerin-shi... It’s obvious that you have known and cared for your son for a long time, but I'm afraid that you have stopped to know him at the age of eighteen. Because the Yoongi I see and the Yoongi you see are very different. We love each other, and it's not a one-day thing. Neither you nor anyone else has the power to tear us apart. Because we are two wounded souls and we can only heal each other. I hope you realise that one day. Thank you for diner.” He got up from the chair. “Excuse me…”
As he walked to the stairs leading to his room, even he couldn't believe what he had said. His heart was beating fast. But he was proud of himself. Even she had no right to speak ill of her son. The absence of the Alphas at the table gave him a little more confidence. He managed to open his mouth. Maybe it was better that way. How long did he want to be oppressed? If one day he and Yoongi started a big family and his Alpha found out that he was his soul mate, everything would be so much better. And Jimin wouldn't want to look back and see himself as a submissive person.
God knows he's been submissive enough in his life.
*****
In the evening, Taehyung and Chaerin were at home together. They started to show off what they had bought during the day. Unlike yesterday, Rina did not go shopping today, preferring to stay at home. She could only look at her son's jewellery purchases from a distance, nodding in approval. Jimin studied the large stone necklaces, emerald earrings and extravagant wedding tiara from his cushion in the far corner.
He didn't think they even noticed he was there when Rina called out to him. Jimin. “What kind of jewellery did you buy?”
“Me?” He looked into her green, clear eyes. “I...”
Chaerin interrupted him. “He and Yoongi are going to look tomorrow. Right, Jimin?”
Jimin heard this for the first time. No one had bought him any jewellery and he didn't need any. But he nodded his head in confusion. “Yes, Chaerin-shi.”
“He doesn't come from a noble family, so he doesn't have any savings. We had to buy everything for him.”
When Rina remained silent, Chaerin continued. “Since he doesn't have a family, he's behind in a lot of things, and he doesn't know how to do handicrafts. He can't even come close to Taehyung in that respect.”
“Don't make comparisons, Chaerin.” She said in a stern voice. “Remember, you were like him once, how quickly have you forgotten those days?”
As soon as Rina said that, the air in the room almost froze. Chaerin stood there with the expensive porcelain cup in her hand. Rina turned to Jimin and smiled. “If you need anything - and I don't think you will - Yoongi is a very good Alpha. But if you ever get into trouble, our door is always open. Maybe they told you. I'm the president of a charity organisation where many Omegas are members. We've helped many unfortunate Omegas like you, and now they're all doing very well. I know people like you very well... You always take life in your stride and I admire that very much.”
Jimin nodded his head in surprise. “Th-Thank you. I... I mean, like you said, Yoongi takes good care of me. And those hard times are over, I don't need anything anymore.”
“I'm so glad. Where did you come from?”
Feeling his face burning, Omega lowered his eyes in front of her. “From the north. I changed packs many times before I came here, Rina-shi.”
‘Please don't prolong this, please don't ask for details.’ He begged. Luckily, Junhee came in before she could answer and the conversation was interrupted.
“Omega Jimin…” Jimin's heart beat faster as he put down the cup in his hand and turned to her. “Junhee? What's wrong?”
“Someone's here, he wants to see you. I told him to leave, but he insists on talking.”
“Who is it?” Chaerin asked.
“An Alpha, Chaerin-shi.”
“What does that mean?”
Jimin stiffened. So much so that he didn't even remember how he got up and left the big hall. As he stepped out into the cold air, wearing only a thin sweater, he came face to face with the person he had been afraid to see. He realised that his fears were not unfounded. He regretted that he had not acted, even though it was too late. His eyes flashed. No matter how scared he was, he was not going to give this Alpha the pleasure. Now his anger overcame his fear. How could he be here, in the home of his Alpha, whatever he was, but how could he be a threat to his new family?
He could never allow it.
Crossing an arm over his chest to cover his front, he frowned. “Lucas. Are you out of your mind? Get the hell out of here.”
“Jimin-ah... Jimin-ah. My little frightened Omega. There you are.”
“Know your place, I have an Alpha.” He snapped. But his reaction was somewhat muted, he didn't want his voice to be heard inside. He walked a little to the right, to the side of the outer door, to get him out more easily. He just didn't know how to do it yet, how to get rid of him in front of everyone. They were probably already at the window.
“That won't stop me, you know.”
“Fucking bastard. I'm not the Omega you've been groping around in that pack, not letting him breathe. I can end your life with a single sentence.” He listed what came to his mind, which was actually a lie. It was an unknown. He didn't know what Yoongi would do. If he saw them, he would probably try to communicate with Lucas and listen to the dirty Alpha as much as he didn't listen to him. Yoongi was only deaf to Jimin.
He shivered as he felt the icy reality of not even having someone to lean on. Lucas looked at him and grinned in amusement. The Alpha's light hair was tangled and matted. He smelled heavy and his clothes were worn, he must have been out for days. Jimin wanted to plug his nose at the strong smell. It was very, very disgusting, like a hard kick in the stomach. It reminded him of those hard days.
“So you've changed, huh?” He grinned again and leaned closer to him. “My poor, miserable Jimin... Do you have any idea how long I've been chasing after you?”
Jimin doubted his sanity. Lucas had never treated him with good intentions. He always wanted to take advantage of him.
“Don't come any closer.”
“'What are you going to do about it?” The Alpha was distracted and looked around, the garden was huge and covered in snow. He whistled as he walked towards the conservatory. “I didn't believe it when they told me you'd got a good place. That's why you ran away from me, isn't it? When I could have given you this, this glamorous life...”
“Shut up!” He said, his eyes filling with anger. “Who do you think you are? I have nothing to do with you, never have, never will. I left my pack to be left alone, I'm disgusted with you. Now give it up... Please give it up. Can't you see I have a life... Whatever it is you want, I don't have it.” Now he was trying to persuade him, he couldn't cope with him. “I have a family, I'm not a stray.” He felt like crying.
How strange it was to say that. He had a family.
He thought it would have been better to speak in a soothing tone, but he was wrong. The Alpha had locked his dark eyes on him like a weapon and then, before he realised what was happening, had come up to him and grabbed his arm tightly, pulling him towards himself. So hard that his breasts collided with the sudden tug. Jimin held his breath so as not to smell his scent, trembling in his hands. “Look at me. Do you think I'm stupid? Can you get off so easily, huh?”
“Leave me alone.” He said, trying to catch his breath. Now they were on the side where the windows couldn't see them. “This is the Min family mansion... You want trouble? Go Lucas, please...”
“Shut up!” As he shook him, the Omega's scarf slipped and fell to the floor, revealing his mark. Jimin's eyes filled with tears as he shivered with cold and fear. “So you've been mated.”
“That won't stop me.” Lucas giggled as he tried to break free. “It would only be bad for you and your Alpha.”
Luckily the people inside, especially Yuri, hadn't seen him in the garden and came out screaming when they saw Jimin being held by a familiar Alpha. “Holy Eloa, I'm going to kill you. Let him go now! Junhee, Mum! Do something, call the Alphas.”
“What is going on, who is this Jimin?” The whole household was gathered at the door, watching in shock at the sight before them. “Don't call anyone or you'll never see the Omega alive again.” Without hesitation, Lucas wrapped his strong arm around the Omega's slender neck and pulled him towards the door. He pulled a worn knife from his pocket and held it close to the Omega's neck. Jimin screamed, no longer able to be brave.
“No! What are you doing - stop!” As Yuri screamed like a madman, Jimin tugged at the Alpha's arm to keep from choking and shedding tears. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry-“
“That's it, beautiful.” There was another scream as he rubbed the sharp edge of the knife across the Omega's cheek. “You'll give me anything I want.”
“Do something!” Chaerin ordered the servants outside. There was no one in the house, they were all alone. “Why are you standing there?”
“Don't even think about it, or he'll die.”
At that moment, Yoongi, who was staggering towards the house with his brother, heard the shouting. He quickened his pace. “What is that noise?”
Yoongi replied, “It's coming from our house.” That wasn't the only thing he heard. He felt a strange pain in his stomach and the smell of the Omega he had mated, even if only half mated, filled his nostrils. But this time the smell was not ordinary or pleasant, it was terrifying. It literally expressed fear.
“Hyung, what's happening?”
“Quiet.” The Alpha growled as he stood outside the iron gate. He could smell the scent and knew that someone else was inside. So did Jungkook. He had already darkened his eyes and prepared to enter. “Stop.” His brother said.
The Alpha left Jungkook behind and after opening the door with the silence of a fox, he slowly crept in using his hybridity. No one heard him coming. It was a blessing that he could hide his scent at this moment. What he normally considered a curse now seemed useful to his eyes. As he threw his body in, everything that had happened collapsed before his eyes. First the uncanny Alpha he was sure he had never seen before, and the Omega he held in his arms, and then the people standing in the doorway watching. Yuri's eyes widened when she saw her brother coming, but Yoongi signalled her to shut up.
He knew he had to act quickly, and seconds were precious at a moment like this. There was no time for him to get tangled up or panic.
Strange hands held his Omega, strange dirty hands. No matter what, Jimin was his mate and they were mated. No matter what their arrangement was, he would marry him in a few days. He couldn't lose another person. How dare he touch him? What was this Alpha thinking?
He thought he had never felt like this before. But he was convinced that it had something to do with the fact that he was mated to the Omega. Jimin had somehow noticed that he was coming. He looked at the Alpha out of the corner of his eye as if begging for help, his neck slightly bruised. The Alpha had laid a hand on him, hurting him roughly and deliberately.
Now he could hand over control to his wolf, who growled and snarled in full fury. He could not hold it back. What he felt was very primitive. But he wasted no time in understanding it and did what he had to do.
He ripped his Omega from the hands of the scum. He did so with such speed and skill that even those present were surprised. Silently approaching behind the Alpha like a spy, he grabbed the hand holding the knife by the wrist and twisted it towards his waist, breaking its bones. Then he grabbed his Omega by the waist and pulled him hard, calling to Yuri. “Get him out of here, quick!”
“Yoongi-“ He had already knocked down the screaming foreign Alpha with a single move and continued his blows on him when he heard Jimin's struggling and pleading voice. But no. This was not enough. Death would be his punishment.
Chaerin and Jungkook called out to him. Jimin's fearful scent faded, but his primal wolf did not calm down. A terrible, terrible mistake had been made, his Omega had been touched. How could he let it go.
“Son, stop it!”
As he was about to throw another punch at the Alpha, he was distracted by Jimin's voice through the window, telling him to stop in tears. He looked up for a second. Taking advantage of the opportunity, the Alpha, with his face covered in blood, grabbed the knife that was slightly to the right of his hand and lunged at Yoongi. Luckily, Yoongi was able to grab the sharp side of the knife just in time. It was about to plunge into his stomach and he grabbed the Alpha. When his hand was cut, hot blood soaked through his trousers. He didn't even feel it hurt, he felt extraordinarily strong.
“Did you touch him with this hand?” He asked in an icy voice. Lucas was still struggling, badly bruised. Before he could answer, Yoongi grabbed his broken wrist and slammed it to the ground, raising the knife that cut his hand, “Stop!” The Alpha said.
Yoongi's eyes flashed like flames, he didn't want to stop, but his Omega was watching him. When the foreign Alpha realised that those eyes weren't typical of a wolf, he turned and fled into the forest.
Yoongi thought this would work in his favour and after a long moment he transformed effortlessly into a unique wolf with brown and red fur. He growled at the Omegas watching them from the threshold. It was a warning, a warning, and Jimin ignored his Alpha and went back to the door. Yuri also held Jimin tightly before Yoongi left. “We have to go inside, we can't interfere with the wolves Jimin, Yoongi is unconscious.”
“Please, Noona, let me go!”
“You can't keep up with him.”
“'ll turn, too, I'll try-“
“Nonsense!” Cried the weeping Chaerin, “Shut up and come in! Pray that no harm comes to my son, pray that no harm comes to him. Or no one will take you away from me.”
Jimin trembled, hot tears covering his entire face. “Yoongi…” He said, looking into the darkness, Yoongi had just run off into the woods. “If he gets hurt - no! I have to stop him.” Just as he slipped out of Yoongi's grasp, Jungkook stepped in front of him. “Go inside, Jimin.” He said. “Get inside now.”
“Can't you go...” He said pleadingly. Jungkook felt sorry for him. Even though he was angry, he couldn't even ask who the Alpha really was and how he knew him. “I can't go Jimin, Alphas have to follow rules. Don't distract him now, stop crying... Yoongi Hyung won't get hurt.”
This scared him so much that his knees went weak and he found himself sitting on the seats inside. Chaerin went crazy. “If anything happens to my son, I'll ruin you! Then you'll see what a crazy Omega looks like! You fool! Look at the trouble you've caused us!”
All the Alphas were out of the house now, waiting for Yoongi's return with torches at the entrance to the forest. They would illuminate him to help him find his way. And if he was injured, they would smell his scent and rescue him.
In the forest, the darkness and snow grew deeper and deeper. When Lucas, one of the transformed wolves, ran into the forest, Yoongi didn't give up the chase. He ran after him and caught him in a corner. He felt more powerful than ever, so much so that he could even dominate his father. Maybe it was because he hadn't beaten anyone in a long time. Yoongi showed no mercy when the Alpha was thrown to the ground. He could no longer fight because he was too wounded in his human form. He would only show mercy to those who deserved it. The other was a parasite who had to die.
As the Alpha fell to the ground, Yoongi came closer, growling hoarsely, and walked around him in circles for a while. Lucas was now experiencing the greatest fear of his life, he had never seen anything like it. Groaning in pain, he begged for forgiveness, playing every trump a wolf could play to keep his rival from killing him. The wolf sniffed him with his nose and looked at him without blinking, as if enjoying his prey.
This torture continued for a few more minutes for Lucas. He realised now that he had no chance of survival.
As the blood of the Alpha touching his Omega adorned this white cloth under the flaky snow, Yoongi did not take his fiery hot eyes from the dull eyes of the other Alpha. He did not forgive as he stood right in front of him. He did not forgive and turned the Alpha's cries and pleas into his most beautiful lullaby. He sank his sharp wolf fangs into the Alpha's thick, dirty-haired neck and tore the jugular vein in one fell swoop. The wolf took the blow to the fatal spot. He convulsed a few times and drew his last breath.
He had touched his Omega.
His Omega.
How could anyone take him from his hand?
*****
When Jungkook came back home to calm down the Omegas, he became even more angry, “Where did this Alpha come from, I don't understand it! Can someone enlighten me?” He shouted as he paced back and forth. He couldn't bear to be silent any longer.
Taehyung looked at him with interest, “Ask Jimin. He knows him.” He muttered. “He was the Alpha in the tavern.”
Jimin and Jungkook looked at each other, the Omega was in no mood to talk, just crying and crying. Jungkook sighed, he couldn't stand it when Omegas cried. “Don't cry, stop. My Hyung will come back safe and sound.”
“If he doesn't, I'll finish you off.” Chaerin screamed.
Yuri stopped trying to calm Jimin and shouted. “Mum! Stop it! Stop it, can't you see how devastated the Omega is?”
“Ah... My son…” Chaerin couldn't take her eyes off the window, tears streaming down her wrinkled face. “That Alpha was so eerie, something must have happened to him, it's been so long.”
“It hasn't even been half an hour.” Jungkook said. “My brother is a good fighter.”
Dohyun had also gone inside, leaving other Alphas in his place. He knew that Yoongi would come straight home by another route. This is not Yoongi's first time. Think of all the Alphas he beats up when he's bored and stop crying. “Sit down, I'm sure he'll come back safe and sound.”
“How can you be so calm?” The grieving mother sat down on the sofa, her reaction echoing down the hall. “How can you be calm when everything is happening because of this Omega... How can you be calm?”
Dohyun didn't bother to answer. Jimin waited a few more minutes with his heart in his mouth, the waiting was like death, every second he was sinking deeper. What would he do if he didn't come? Where had that bastard Lucas lured him to? What deep forest was he in? Did he need help?
It was because of him, because of him, because of him. Whatever they said was right, even if they beat him, he wouldn't make a sound now.
Every second he didn't come back, he felt like going mad. Time stood still, tears frozen on his cheeks, his eyes fixed on a single point. Yuri tried for the third time to get him to drink water, but failed. “You've exhausted yourself, why are you doing this? Come on, drink it.”
“I have no one but him.” He said in a weak, lost voice. “He is my only safe place.”
It hurt that it was true.
His pain was real, what he was saying was real. He would be alone in the world. He would die. If he lost everything he depended on, there would be no point in living.
“We exist, I exist. Don't say things like that.” Yuri pulled him to her, then led him through the hall and into the cold, secluded kitchen. She sat him down on the wooden stool and took him by both shoulders. “Pull yourself together, Jimin. What will Yoongi think when he sees you like this? Don't upset us.”
But he still mumbled. “I'll die if I lose Yoongi too. I can't live if he gets hurt because of me, Noona.”
Noises from inside could be heard in the kitchen. Her mother's panic did not help their situation. Yuri couldn't help wishing that they could show their passionate love in normal times too. “Nothing will happen. I would feel it if something happened to him.”
‘Me too’ Jimin thought miserably. But he didn't know if he would feel it or what the state of this soulmate bond was.
“He's really strong. You're worrying for nothing. He's not just any wolf.”
“But what... What if... What if they trapped him in the middle of nowhere? What if he was surrounded by a pack of wildlings and he couldn't escape? The forest doesn't listen to mistakes, Noona. It stumbles you when you least expect it and you can't get up again.” He sniffed and thought back to that cold night. He had stumbled, yes, if it weren't for Yoongi, if he had not stumbled upon him that night, he would have died.
He had saved his life. Was there anything more important than that? He might as well not have recognised his soulmate. All he wanted was the safe return of the Alpha who had saved his life. Even if he didn't look at his face.
Yuri managed to get him to drink some water. “That won't happen, trust me. Besides, this Alpha came alone, if they travelled in packs, we would have found out.”
“'Nobody liked him.” He confirmed. “He never got on with anyone, he was a pain in the neck.”
“I have a lot of questions, but I won't ask them and upset you more, we'll talk later.”
“Whatever you say is right Yuri Noona, I made a big mistake. Maybe it would hurt less if you got angry and shouted at me.” His hands shook and he put the glass down on the counter, his eyes swollen from crying, he looked devastated.
“I understand that you blame yourself, I'd do the same, but what good does that do anyone? Your Alpha chose to save you and accepted the consequences. I'm sure he knows nothing bad will happen. Do you think he'd let you go?”
Another hot tear rolled down Jimin's eye. If only he could believe that. “This feels so bad. I've never been used to someone doing things like this for me, I've tried to take care of everything myself, that's what I tried to do today, but I failed, I didn't know he'd come all the way home.”
Yuri was about to open his mouth when the Beta looking out of the window shouted excitedly. “Sir! Alpha Yoongi is here! He's here, sir!” Jimin didn't know how to get up. He ran out of the kitchen and into the hall, which was dimly lit by gas lamps. He caught Yoongi just as he walked through the door. He was wearing only a torn shirt with the front open and trousers with bloody knees. His hand was covered in blood. The smell of blood seeped into the Omega's bones. His eyes filled with tears and he couldn't stop himself. He ran to his Alpha. “Yoongi! You're here. You're alive...” The others in the house were in the hall now, Jimin ran his hands and eyes over his Alpha's body to see if he had any wounds, Yoongi was surprised by this and the miserable state his Omega was in. He grabbed his wrist and turned him towards himself, he could smell the scent coming from the places the foreign Alpha had touched “Jimin-ah…” His distracted eyes travelled up to the Omega's swollen face, he looked so scared. “Why are you crying, I'm fine.”
“I was so scared... So scared…” He said stiffly. This time Yoongi examined his neck with his dark eyes, still not fully aware of what had happened, still unable to comprehend that he had killed someone, that he had transformed and run a long way, still unable to make sense of the wolf's rage inside him. All he knew was that he had to press this fragile, docile, crying Omega to his chest, to calm it and restore his soiled scent.
What had he become?
“Your neck…” He said, running his fingers over Jimin's bruised skin. The Alpha must have squeezed him so hard that Yoongi clenched his teeth, wanting to resurrect him and kill him again and again. “It doesn't matter… It doesn't matter, you're here.” Jimin said after touching his neck and grabbing the Alpha's hand in the air. His palm was covered in blood, he couldn't swallow as a tear broke off and fell on his Alpha's wounded palm. “Your hand... Ah Yoongi, does it hurt a lot?”
“It doesn't hurt, don't worry. Let's go to our room.” He said absentmindedly. He had to take him to his room and heal him, his Omega was hurt, he had to do something.
“It's my fault.” Jimin said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve and couldn't stand it anymore, he was so relieved to see him in the flesh that he crawled into the Alpha's chest and hugged him tightly. He didn't care about anything, so much so that even Yoongi was surprised that an Omega was so strong, his bones hurt. “It's okay… It's okay… Shh.” He said, regaining control, still feeling a bit like a wolf and a bit like Yoongi adapting to his role. It was hard to breathe again, caught between his roles. With his arms flailing, he tilted his chin and kissed the top of his head, enveloping him in his own scent to calm his fear. He couldn't believe he was doing this right now, it felt so good, it must have been his wolf. As he pulled his lips away from the Omega's soft hair, his mother snuggled up next to him.
Yoongi had really worried them.
Even himself.
The fire in his eyes faded as he stepped back, leaving the Alpha to bleed, and soon he was back in human form, staring down at his hands. The sharpness of his teeth faded as he dropped to his knees in the snow and stood for several minutes over the body of the scrawny, white-furred wolf.
He had killed someone. It was a first, apart from the enemies he had killed in minor skirmishes and arson.
Chaerin hugged his son tightly and pushed Jimin aside. Yuri followed, seeing that her beloved brother was all right, and put a hand on his heart. “Thank God.” She said. “You scared the hell out of us.”
Jungkook looked at Hyung from a distance and bowed his head respectfully. “Don't do something like that again, Hyung, or we'll have to come after you and suffer the consequences together.” But he couldn't resist. Instead of obeying, he reached out and shouldered his Hyung, even though his scent was too strong for a young Alpha. “You scared me to death.”
“It's nothing, Kook, you see.” He growled.
His father had been sitting in the big chair, undisturbed since he'd arrived, content to watch his reunited family from a distance. Yoongi was desperate to get away from it all, he was so confused and needed to be alone. In fact, he hadn't even wanted to go home tonight, but his wolf had insisted. What had happened to his wolf? For a moment, his eyes searched for Jimin like crazy. The little Omega was standing by the fireplace and did not take his eyes off his Alpha. Yoongi looked at him and gestured for him to come closer. He stepped away from his mother and took his Omega under his arm.
“You both have a lot of explaining to do.” Dohyun finally got up from his seat. The big Alpha stopped when Yoongi gave him a warning look. They looked at each other. Yoongi's jaw clenched instinctively and he growled, as if to let his wolf know that he was in control.
After a moment, the Alpha turned his head and said, “We need some privacy, we're going up to our room.” He said firmly. “Don't disturb us.”
And no one objected as they walked up the stairs.
When they entered Yoongi's room together, Jimin couldn't even think about whether he should be there or not. His fear overcame everything else and he didn't want to let his soul mate out of his sight even for a moment. They would have to scrape him out of the room tonight. The same was true for Yoongi. His wolf was so insistent on keeping Jimin close that he was powerless to object. His head began to spin as he entered the room.
Something was happening inside him and he couldn't make sense of it, he was just getting to know this wild, almost foreign wolf. Maybe he had been like this wolf all along, he just hadn't recognised it because he had never had a mate before.
“Jimin…” He panted, his voice still hoarse like a wolf's, even though he had returned to human form about half an hour ago.
Jimin opened the cupboard in the corner of the room and looked for something to warm his Alpha while he tried to light the fireplace. “Sit down quickly, I'll light the fireplace and heat up the room, put on something warm so you don't get cold and I'll wrap your hand, okay-“
Yoongi grabbed his wrist, which was so thin it felt like it would break when the Omega passed by. “Stop. Stop…” He said, blinking his eyes slowly.
Jimin's worried expression softened instantly as his gaze shifted to his bare chest and fire flushed his cheeks. “You'll catch cold.”
“I'm not cold. Sit down.” He didn't let go until he'd pulled him up and sat him on the bed. “I should have at least lit the fire.” Jimin complained as he folded his hands uncomfortably in his lap.
Yoongi couldn't see anything. He wasn't cold either. He was as tough as a wolf now. He just wanted to make sure that Jimin was okay. But if his Omega would be happy, he would go and light the fireplace. “Okay, sit down, I'll light the fire.”
“Yoongi-“
He interrupted his protest. “Just sit down and calm down. I'm here and I'm fine.”
Jimin fell silent and watched his Alpha throw wood into the fireplace and the skilful way it was lit. The shapely muscles of his back showing through his thin shirt and his dishevelled red hair, his heart trembling. The wolf he had seen for a few seconds, Yoongi, a unique hybrid wolf with greyish red and dark brown fur, stood before his eyes. He was very, very beautiful. He pressed his lips together. He wasn't hurt, he could relax, he could keep breathing. But it just wasn't happening.
Yoongi lit the fireplace and the room was illuminated by the light of the fire. When he turned around and saw the wetness on the Omega's cheeks, he frowned, the wolf inside him raged again, attacking the imaginary walls. “Why are you crying?” He asked, almost angrily. “What happened now?”
Who was the recipient of his rage? The Alpha he had killed?
He had killed an Alpha. He should have been devastated, why was he so calm now? He looked down at his hands, they were still his hands, his teeth were his teeth. It didn't look like he had killed anyone.
“You're injured.” Omega said and put his hand over his lips. “It was because of me. Look at yourself.”
“It's just a small cut, it doesn't even hurt.”
“I saw you, the knife almost went into your stomach, Yoongi... He almost killed you.”
He clenched his teeth. “Did you think he could kill me? Would I give my life because of that worthless piece of shit?” He huffed and looked at his hand, “It's just a stupid little bruise. Don't cry over it.”
“Please let me have a look at it.”
“Okay…” He said without a fight. As he sat down and complied with his wolf's request, Jimin looked around the room and found the drawer with the items Yoongi had borrowed from the healer. Yoongi had actually described them. “Take that little jar, there's a white bandage in the bottom drawer.”
“Okay, I'll find it right away.”
Yoongi crouched down on the cushion by the window to be close to him. Soon Jimin was sitting cross-legged next to him with the materials in his hand. “Here I am.”
Yoongi nodded and held out his hand in a fist for Jimin to treat him. Jimin wrapped his trembling fingers around the Alpha's wrist. He turned his palm towards himself and put the Alpha's hand on his knee to move more comfortably. “I'll heal your wound right away.”
“Are you going to use magic?”
“No, but...” He pointed to the jar, teasing him. “I got the recipe from a good healer, a fox hybrid.”
“Then it'll take time to heal. “ He teased, smiling wearily. Then, not realising why he was smiling, he changed his expression. Jimin did not see this moment, he was too busy cleaning the Alpha's hand with a wet cloth. It made him happy to touch his warm skin, to concentrate on healing his soulmate's wound. The cut was not very deep, but fortunately it would heal in a few days. “Tell me when it hurts.”
Yoongi didn't speak the whole time he was cleaning the wound, he just concentrated on locking his wolf in its den. He had to be in control now. By this time, Jimin had already cleaned his hand and applied the ointment. All that was left was to bandage it.
“Does your neck hurt?”
“Hm?” Jimin looked at him with an unsure expression. Then he noticed that the Alpha's eyes were fixed on his neck and swallowed. He didn't want him to bring it up. “It's nothing, it's okay. It doesn't hurt.”
“It's bruised, Jimin. How is it nothing?”
“Your hand is cut too, you say it's nothing.”
“Don't twist it.”
Jimin shook his head from side to side, “I'm not twisting it.” He cut the bandage with a knife and closed it. He wasn't the point.
Yoongi felt anger. He didn't want to hide it, but like every transformed wolf, he was exhausted. He clutched his chest and arched his back. Just as he was about to forget, he saw the piece of cloth dangling from his trouser pocket and pulled it out with his uninjured hand. It was a silk scarf with green and brown patterns, the smell of Omega was on it and it was not where it belonged. “You dropped this in the garden.”
Jimin blinked, it must have slipped and fallen to the ground in the struggle with Lucas. It was one of the precious pieces the Alpha had taken from Hoseok's shop. Jimin smiled and grabbed the soft fabric, the edges stained with blood. Immediately his face fell. “Thank you for bringing it.”
“I saw it coming into the house, it smelled like you.”
“We got it from Hoseok.”
Yoongi didn't remember, they had taken so many things. When he had found it on the floor, he had even put it in his pocket, never to take it out again. But his wolf had wanted it, not him. “Could be.”
“It's covered in blood.”
“Sorry…“ The Alpha said, chewing his lip. “It must have come off my hand, I'll buy you a new one.”
“No!” Jimin protested a little too loudly and Jimin realised what he was doing and blushed. “I mean, no need, I'll wash it off. Besides, you got hurt protecting me.”
Their eyes met and Jimin remembered what had happened. He started to shed the tears he had been holding back for minutes.
“Yoongi, I'm really sorry, no matter how much I talk and apologise, I just don't feel comfortable. Since we started - since this... this deal, so many things have happened to you, I can't help but think that I have nothing to offer you but harm.”
“Jimin-“
Jimin put his hands over his face, silencing him as he struggled to hold back his sobs. “You're right to be angry with me, I deserve it so much. You shouldn't even be talking to me, I can't even ask you to forgive me, but please forgive me.”What would happen if he didn't forgive him and threw him out of the door? He hadn't even got to the real secret yet. He trembled like a bird. “I'm so sorry.”
“You can't be responsible for an Alpha being obsessed with you. Do you understand that?”
“But...” He sniffled. He was right, but it still didn't feel right. It was like he was being polite. “But I could have taken precautions.”
“What could you have done? What can you do with an angry Alpha? Were you going to frown at him?”
“I don't know - I should have stopped him coming home!” He sobbed.
How could he blame himself?
How had life treated him that he could apologise when he was dying inside?
“Come here…” Jimin continued to cry quietly with his head down. Yoongi gave in to his wolf and did something he probably shouldn't have done and pulled the Omega towards him. Oh, he looked so desperate and starved for attention that he felt sorry for him. He should have given him his attention for the night. They sat half reclining on the cushions. Jimin rested his head on his chest, in this forbidden paradise he had been invited to. The crying on the Alpha's chest also had a calming effect. He pulled him into his lap. Strangely enough, there was no one else in the room but them. No one was watching them. Had they started to pretend even when they were alone? He wished the Alpha wouldn't hear him, his heart pounding like a poor beached fish.
This time, their intimacy was real. It was the most real moment in this whole painful game.
“Don't apologise for something like that or I'll get really angry.” Yoongi said as he looked at the wall. He couldn't move with his hand on the Omega's tiny shoulder, and his chest was the Omega's only protection. If he moved, the magic of this awkward moment would disappear. “Don't ever apologise again, life may have made you apologise for things you couldn't help, but you've left that life behind. You're my responsibility here, it's my job to protect you and I have no regrets or anger about anything I've done. I did what I had to do. I took responsibility for everything.”
Jimin couldn't recognise the owner of this voice. Or maybe it was the real Yoongi all along. His throat tightened, no one had ever protected him like this before. “I'll be more careful from now on.”
“If anyone bothers you, tell me first.”
“Okay…” He said and put his small hand on the Alpha's chest, who had already buttoned his shirt. Then he thought that he had gone too far, that the Alpha needed to rest and he tried to pull back so that the Alpha would not be disturbed any more. But Yoongi didn't let him and held his arm tighter around his shoulder. He hadn't been able to wipe the smell of that filthy Alpha off him yet. Jimin was surprised but rested his cheek against the Alpha's chest. He could feel the steady beating of his heart. He had never been so close to him before. Yoongi clenched his teeth as he lifted his hand and wrapped it around the Alpha's waist this time. He couldn't think, he just wanted to be closer to him. “Please don't do anything to put yourself in danger again, please. If I lose you, I'll have nothing. You...” He paused and hiccupped. “I found you too late. I can't lose you again.”
Yoongi didn't understand, his brow furrowed, but he didn't ask, distracted by the arm around his waist. “Don't worry.” He said as they continued to sit on the cushions. Omega must have been emotional. “You won't get rid of me that easily.”
“I don't want to get rid of you at all.”
“Okay, stop crying. I'm fine.”
Before Yoongi realised what was happening, Jimin sat up and took the brown blanket from his toes, draped it over his Alpha and snuggled into his side. This was it, this was peace. He wanted nothing more, his wolf's happiness was intense, he could feel it. Jimin's hair tickled his chin and his scent hit his nose.
He almost thought his heart skipped a beat. It was doubtful that a better moment would ever come, if only they could stay in this moment forever.
He liked the faint, unidentifiable scent. His wolf told him to strengthen his scent. They didn't talk much, but Yoongi felt he had to. ‘Comfort your Omega, he's so worried about you.’
And so he did. When Jimin's stiff body relaxed, he put his hand to his covered chest and closed his eyes. “Do you want something?”
“You came, what else would I want?” He murmured. “Don't ever leave again, okay?”
“I'll think about it.”
Yoongi was ticklish and wrinkled his nose as he moved his head, trying to get comfortable. But he didn't say anything. “Are you feeling better?”
“Much better.” Jimin said sniffling.
“That Alpha will never bother you again.”
Jimin's eyes widened in fear and he looked up into the Alpha's eyes. “Never? What does that mean?”
“I taught him a lesson.”
“What did you do?”
“Nevermind. Just don't be afraid. I told you, you're supposed to tell me these things in advance. What if I hadn't got there in time? Would he have taken my Omega?”
“He wouldn't have...”
“He has bad intentions, Jimin.” He said emphatically. “I know these Alphas well. He wanted to hurt you.”
“I-I don't know, he used to bother me before, but-“
“No buts. I'm sure there's more.”
“No-“ He leaned back indecisively. “He was just threatening. He said he was going to mark me... I ran. I didn't think he'd find me. But he did.”
“If you don't misunderstand me...” He said hesitantly. His wolf was not ready to hear the answers to such questions. He had to be loyal to an Omega, even if it was just any wolf. Nevertheless, he asked. “Did something happen between you and this Alpha? Or someone else? I don't know... It might be good to know.”
Jimin stiffened, wanted to rebel but could not. The fact that the Alpha didn't recognise his own soulmate hit him for the millionth time. He realised again that this was a marriage of convenience. “No. There's never been anyone. You're the first. I told you that.”
“I won't ask again.” Yoongi said quietly, annoyed at himself for the Omega's hurt voice. What did he want to hear? That he had a lover and that they had broken up unwillingly? Would that relieve him? He didn't think so. He was getting used to him, to his tiny presence in the universe. The tears he had shed for him had fallen and sprouted in the dry earth inside him.
He stared at the ceiling for a while, slowly coming to himself. But I think it's over now. “Jimin?” Omega made no sound, a long day was over for him. His eyes were closed. He had fallen asleep. Yoongi swallowed and stood still for a while. His eyes were heavy with the comfort of the scents and the fatigue of the fight.
He fell asleep for a while on the sofa with his Omega. No one disturbed them. He opened his eyes when he heard the sound of roosters outside, the fireplace was out and the room was cold. He looked at Jimin, the Omega huddled close to his chest, but his nose was red from the cold. He tried to get up immediately. “Don't go, please.” Omega begged sleepily, clutching Yoongi's shirt. “I'm scared.”
“I'll light the fireplace and you go to bed-“
Jimin shook his head from side to side sleepily, he didn't want to give it up because he was cold when he slept so peacefully for the first time, he couldn't miss the chance to sleep on his Alpha's chest. “I don't want to, please Yoong i. Stay.”
And Yoongi stayed, just so he wouldn't get upset. When he thought about his behaviour last night, he didn't recognise himself either. Maybe he had mistakenly given Jimin hope, hope that he would love him one day, that he could act like a mate even when they were married and no one was around. He hadn't. He had to kill those hopes now and Yoongi didn't know how he could stand in front of the Omega and say something like that.
Until Jimin woke up, he didn't move even though his arm was numb. He waited for the time to pass without even blinking his eyes.
What had he done last night and now he had to deal with it. He had to give his wolf a good scolding, and punish him if necessary.
And what about his fox? Still as invisible as a sprout under the ground, it was silent and content to watch. Was it laughing at Yoongi? Perhaps mocking him for being such a poor loser.
His life was full of unknowns and he made mistake after mistake.
When Junhee finally knocked on the door and called for breakfast, Jimin woke up and rubbed his eyes. “Good morning.” He frowned when he realised where they were and his shirt-marked cheeks flushed. “Oh... Er... Yoongi, I'm sorry. I must have disturbed you, I... I don't know why I did it... It must have been my wolf.”
“It's okay, we just fell asleep.” Yoongi said, getting up quickly and putting on a thick dark jumper to avoid confronting him. “Let's go downstairs for breakfast.”
“Thank you.” Jimin said from behind him. He was desperately trying to reach the concerned and almost affectionate Alpha from last night. Once again, he had turned into a complete stranger. “For last night.” He added.
Yoongi opened the door, “Nothing happened last night.” He said. “You know that too. You needed comfort, you were scared and begged me to stay. I did what you asked. Don't thank me for it.”
So Jimin watched the Alpha leave. He was right, there was no healing between them. It was just... Yoongi had obeyed a primitive wolf. Every wolf was like that, even without a soul mate.
Every time he was wrong, he lost another life. How many times would he rise from the ashes? He was even tired of being a phoenix.
*****
There was an icy silence at breakfast and Jimin almost got used to it. The only good thing about going downstairs to eat was seeing Yuri. But this morning she was as pale and cold as the air outside. It must have been because of yesterday's events, Jimin inwardly blamed himself. But he made sure not to look up from his food so he wouldn't catch her eyes. And he was guilty, he wouldn't have been hurt if someone had said that to him. But when it came to Yuri, his heart ached. He put the piece of meat into his mouth with his fork. His eyes fell on Yoongi, who was sitting there without touching his food.
Just then Dohyun spoke. “Some people saw you coming out of the forest last night, on the lonely path by the thorns... Chief Song came early in the morning and asked many questions. You can't go a day without getting us into trouble. Who was that Alpha and what did you do to him?”
Out of the corner of his eye Jimin saw the owner of the threatening look, Dohyun. The big Alpha turned to him. “This is all your doing, isn't it?”
Omega gathered his courage, “Yes, sir, don't be angry with him, I'm responsible.”
“It wasn't enough that you messed with my son's mind and mated with him, you had him killed? What are you? Why are you bothering us?”
Yoongi intervened. “If anyone can be persuaded to mate, it's Jimin.” He said. “I'm the one who begged him to be with me, so don't judge him without knowing. Besides, I don't think you'd be upset if I died, Father.”
“Why are you bothering him now?” He put down his spoon. “It was all last night, I don't want to talk about it.”
“I really apologise to each and every one of you.” Jimin said, his apology bottled up inside. “That Alpha Lucas –“
“Jimin, you don't have to do this.” Yoongi said, looking at him and gritting his teeth. Just hearing the bastard's name made his skin crawl. He was probably in a corner of the forest by now, being eaten by carrion crows.
“I want to. They're your parents, they have every right to be angry. We first met this Alpha in my old pack. I swear, I never gave him any hope, but he kept pestering me...”
Yoongi saw how hard he was struggling to speak and felt he had to do something. His jaw tensed and his brow furrowed, he had to get the Omega out of this situation.
“It doesn't matter anymore.” He interjected after leaning back in his chair. “Who he was, what he did and didn't do...” He glared at his father. “Because I killed him.”
He was telling the truth, and at that moment he was filled with relief. It wouldn't have been right to hide it anyway. The truth had a way of coming out eventually.
Jimin dropped the fork with a clatter and quickly put his hand over his mouth.
“What?” Chaerin screamed. “What do you mean, you killed him!”
“This wouldn't have happened if you'd let me go after him, Dad.” Jungkook growled. “I told you, he lost control! You weren't yourself, were you, Hyung? Are you sure he's dead...”
Yoongi nodded. “Of course I'm sure, Gguk.”
“Are you doing this on purpose? What's your purpose?”
“One less arsehole in the world, I don't know why you're reacting.” He had managed to draw all the attention from Jimin to himself. He was calm, whether he killed someone or not was the same to him. He didn't regret it at all.
“What if it was found out? Did you ever think what would happen?” Chaerin said and started to cry. Jimin stared at his Alpha, frozen.
“My only witnesses were the carrion crows. So what if they did? Everyone knows I had a good reason. The punishment for laying hands on a wolf mate is death, that's a rule in every pack.”
“Was it worth it? You got your hands dirty for that Omega.”
“If I don't get dirty for him, who will I get dirty for? He's my Omega. My marked Omega. And if that bastard had touched my Omega, he would have killed him. Is there more?”
“Yoongi is right, he tried to harm the mate of a marked wolf, he deserved to die according to our laws.” Yuri tried to summarise, but it was clear that she was surprised too. In the old world, Alphas had many reasons to kill other Alphas, and Omegas were one of them. It was one of those cases where retaliation was accepted. Still, Yuri was surprised because he hadn't thought his brother would go that far. He must have been desperate. But she was not at ease. She thought she knew every fibre of Yoongi's being, and today she met a side of him she had never seen before, this hard-hearted wolf.
“Anyway…” Yoongi finished his meal, he didn't feel like eating, he wanted to get up and get some air. “The wedding is so close. We have to speed up the preparations. Jimin and I are going to buy some jewellery.” He looked at him. The Omega didn't know, his eyes were full of tears. He also needed to talk to him privately.
“If Namjoon finds out...”
He interrupted his mother. “There's nothing I can't explain.”
“Get out of my sight, Yoongi, or I'll have an accident.”
“Let's go Jimin.” He said after a long look at his father with mocking eyes and took his hand and led him out. Jimin put on his coat and hat as he left. The sight of the garden where he had been held last night made him shudder, but he had a bigger problem now.
Yoongi had become a killer because of him. In the first week. So many things had happened before he was even able to say that they were soul mates, Yoongi, because of him, damn it, because of him!
He had blood on the hands of his beautiful Alpha. He was sick of it all. He didn't want jewellery or anything else. But he had to go. When they left together, Jimin couldn't stop shivering. It was snowing outside and they walked quickly along the road. Just before the market, Jimin stopped and couldn't hold it in any longer. He threw up everything in his stomach at the base of the beech tree next to him.
Yoongi watched confused. “Are you sick or something? Let's go see a healer, it's not a good sign if you keep throwing up like this.”
“What?”
“You keep throwing up.”
Jimin wiped his mouth and sat up, his eyes flaming. There was no one around so he could rage to his heart's content. You killed someone, Yoongi! How can you be so calm? You became a murderer because of me and you expect me to be happy? I'm going crazy!” He slapped his hands across his face.
Not expecting this reaction, the Alpha replied with a frown. “I don't understand. Should I have forgiven him so that he could come back to the mansion and kidnap you?”
“He wouldn't have dared, you'd already made him worse than dead... If you'd let him escape, he wouldn't have messed with you again!”
“That's what you said the first time, you said he was harmless, but look what happened.” He huffed. “It's obvious you've never met alphas like that before. And it looks like you've had spent a lot of time with him.”
“What?” He asked, grimacing. He was shocked. “What are you trying to say?”
Yoongi looked around and lowered his voice. “If it's over, let's go.”
“Don't ignore me, everyone's already ignoring me. I asked you a question.” He swallowed his anger to keep from crying and pushed the Alpha away from his chest. It was the first time. When he pulled back and said, “I can't believe you…” He was completely lost.
“What am I trying to say? What's the point? Do I care? I don't care. You can do whatever you want in the past, I don't care! But you're my Omega now, so you have to watch your behaviour. Just like you should have told me about that Alpha before. I did what an Alpha has to do in such a situation, I killed him, okay? I won't regret it. If you want to hate me for that, go ahead. But look at you. You're in way over your head, and it's no use complaining when it's too late. Let me take responsibility for this.”
Jimin looked at him disappointedly and couldn't help but feel scared. He spoke as if he knew the big secret he was keeping from him. How could he tell such a person? He didn't know Yoongi. This Alpha he was talking to couldn't be his soulmate, maybe it was all a misunderstanding. He mumbled to himself. “Okay.”
“I won't argue in the pack anymore. Go on. Don't let people know that's why I'm arguing with you. Adapt to your role. Remember our agreement.”
“I didn't know he was worth so much.” He said behind him as Jimin started to walk in front of him and pinned him to the ground. His eyes filled with tears. “Enough…” He said in a weak plea. “Please shut up.”
Yoongi didn't continue, the presence of the hands pressing on his chest still hurt. What was happening to him? Why was he so angry and wanted to hurt him? Why was something in his heart heating up and hurting him? Was his wolf going mad? He'd never behaved so primitively. Not even then...
They entered the market while Jimin walked one step ahead of him, they should not walk separately in such a busy place. When he grabbed his wrist and pulled the Omega towards him, he thought he could run away or fight a little, but Jimin gave in and crawled under his arm and cried his heart out, no one saw it thanks to his hat and scarf. Yoongi noticed when Jimin shivered under his hand and went stiff.
Damn it. He had really hurt him and he didn't know how to treat an hurt Omega. If it had been his sister, he would have tickled her and said two funny things to make up for it. But he was his mate, not his sister.
“Look, the stalls are open. Do you want something to eat?”
Jimin shook his head from side to side and pulled his hat down over his eyes.
As they passed the stall that made sweets out of fruit, he said, “Sweets? Have you had any?”
“No. I don't want any.”
“Why not? It's so good and it's healthy.”
Jimin looked up at him. “Please, let's just do our business and go. I don't need you to comfort me and I won't be comforted by sweets. Stay true to your role.”
Yoongi didn't continue. Everything he did was wrong anyway.
When he led him into a long-established jewellery shop, they caught the attention of the man who worked there. “I was wondering when our famous couple would arrive. Their wedding is just around the corner.”
“Yes, in three days.”
“I'm so happy, Yoongi.” He turned his gaze to the Omega who was looking indifferently at the rings on the counter. “You must be Jimin.”
“Yes, hello sir.”
“Do you like anything?”
“Everything is very nice.” He said politely. Damn it all. To hell with all the rings and necklaces, even the wedding and the alphas.
“What do you want for your Omega? Jungkook ordered a lot of stuff, we're working day and night to get it done.”
Yoongi looked at the Omega out of the corner of his eye, Jimin was careful to stop him at the slightest point. And he had succeeded, he avoided Yoongi like the plague.
“Classic stuff.” Yoongi said. “For the wedding. Mum gave me the list.” He handed him the list he had in his pocket from yesterday, a much smaller list than Taehyung's. He had never seen Jimin wear jewellery, so he didn't know what he liked to wear. He turned and walked over to the Omega on the sliding glass shelf on the wall and asked. “Do you like it?”
They were small and unpretentious, simple flower hoop earrings. “It's pretty...” When he turned and walked away again, Yoongi sighed and said to Sejun, who was preparing the orders, “Let's get those earrings too.” without Jimin hearing it.
*****
The preparations for Taehyung's Omega Night continued unabated. Jimin and Yoongi had just found out about it. The events at home were happening so fast that they could not keep up.
Jimin was on his way to his room on the second floor while Yoongi picked up the packages and went upstairs with them. As soon as he closed the door, he collapsed on the floor and lost himself in thought. He had cried so much last night that there were no tears left to shed. He just stared dully.
At that moment, Yoongi was about to leave his room when he was caught by his sister and stopped in front of the door. “Noona…”
“Do you have a minute?”
“I always have time for you, come on.” After opening the door wide and waiting for his sister to enter, he turned to her. “What happened?”
“What didn't happen? Don't you think we should talk about what happened yesterday?”
Yoongi rubbed his face with his hand, “I don't think I have that much time, I have to go out...”
“Yoongi, come on.”
“Noona…” He said annoyed. “Are you going to start too? I don't feel like listening to advice.”
“Sit here.”
Yoongi couldn't protest and sat down next to her at the end of the bed. “What's done is done, there's no point in talking about it. I don't regret what I did, what do you want me to say?”
“You've been too impulsive lately. Do you ever think before you speak, before you act?”
“Come on!” He said through his teeth. “Don't scold me, I'm almost twenty-five.”
Yoongi calmed down in seconds when his sister's warm hand rested on the Alpha's cheek. “You've always been small to me. Don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to question your decisions or judge you, I'm just trying to understand. I haven't sat down and talked to you for a long time, I want to know if everything is okay. What is my Yoongi trying to do on his own? You don't seem to include Jimin in your burdens. But that's not what marriage is about. It's about the two of you being one and sharing your burdens. He was so scared last night that something might happen to you, Yoongi... Don't leave him out.”
“I didn't do that.” He said.
“You said you killed the Alpha without giving him a chance to explain himself at the table today. Let him say what he wants to say.”
“Talking about the Alpha made Jimin uncomfortable.”
“And you said you killed him.”
“But I did, no lie.”
She sighed. “I'm sure that must have scared and worried Jimin even more. He insists it's all his fault.”
He nodded. “Yes. But I couldn't lie, he would have found out. I told him, Noona, I told him it wasn't his fault.”
But he had snapped and hurt him in the market. Everything was set back now.
“I'm sure it was.” She said. “I want you to be more careful from now on, Yoon. Stay away from anything that's going to wear us down and you down. You're not that crazy Alpha anymore. You're practically married now, and you might even be a father soon. So please don't get into trouble. No matter who it's for.”
“I'll try…” Was all he said.
“You could have died.”
Yoongi went stiff. Yuri said, “He came so close to killing you, with that knife-“
“Come on, Noona, I'm alive. I've had enough. I have to go.” Yuri just watched as he got up and left the room like the wind. A few minutes later she was in Jimin's room this time.
When she entered, she found the Omega standing at the window, looking out absent-mindedly. “Jimin, can I come in?”
He recovered quickly. “Oh, please come in.” He felt much more guilty towards her now. He couldn't look anyone in the face. His mate had become a murderer because of him.
“Did you get the jewellery?”
“Y-yes.” Jimin said, playing with the dangling string on the sleeve of his sweater. Yuri pursed her lips; she knew he was in a bad mood. “What's up, my little bird?”
“Nothing…”
“Because of what happened yesterday?” She guessed, and she was right. “I'm telling you to stop blaming yourself, but I know you won't listen. I know it's hard, but don't worry about Yoongi. He knows exactly what he's doing. Besides, not many Alphas would do this for an Omega. And I'm sure the Omegas were jealous when they heard what happened.”
“But how? Who would like to see their Alpha kill someone?”
“All the Omegas except you.” She said with a smile. She hadn't spoken to Yoongi in that language. She hadn't glorified what he had done, but with the Omegas it was different. Yuri had to find a middle way. She had to make sure there would be no rift between them on their wedding day. “They are drooling, you should keep your Alpha.”
When Jimin looked at her in surprise and fear, the smiling Beta took his arm. “We'll go to the party tonight, it'll do you good. I can see you need to relax before the wedding, we could even have some soju.”
“Ugh…” He said. “I hate soju.”
“Did you drink it?” Beta was surprised. “I drank it.” He said. And that was thanks to his Alpha, whom he had accused of being a murderer today. Suddenly he thought he had done him wrong. He did not know that Yoongi was thinking the same thing at the same time. His heart clenched and he put his hand to his chest. But as soon as he was distracted by Yuri again, he was happy to follow her instructions. They had to get dressed up before going to the Omega House, where all the young Omegas gathered in the evenings and where the Kim family paid for everything. Yuri wanted to dress him up. Jimin obeyed.
Yuri found today's packages and started rummaging through them. “What did you get?”
“Lots of stuff.” Jimin said reluctantly and slumped down on the sofa. He didn't even remember, he'd just said yes to everything and watched as the packages filled up.
Yuri spent a few minutes examining the boxes of jewellery, and in a few minutes she made him an outfit for the evening. Jimin looked at the clothes gratefully out of the corner of his eye. They were so beautiful. Hoseok had made them with his own hands and sewn them, and they had taken them with them when they arrived, but he hadn't had the time or the inclination to look at them. The days when she had imagined that he would have such clothes and make himself happy were near. But it had never turned out the way he had imagined. What he really wanted had never been material things, he realised now. The restless rumbling in his stomach and the beating of his heart wouldn't go away.
He looked at the outfit Yuri had given him to wear. It was a long, flowing suit with the striking colours and delicate embroidery on the lapels that young Omegas wore. He swallowed. He was sure he didn't want to wear something so conspicuous on Taehyung's night. What was the point if Yoongi wouldn't see it. Well, there would be no point even if he did.
Shrugging his shoulders, he chose the draped cloth pants and the cream-coloured wool turtleneck sweater with bead detail from the other package. It was enough to be simple and elegant. “I want to wear these.”
“Are you sure? It's your night too.”
“But Taehyung planned everything and I don't like being in public. Are they bad?”
“No, with a beautiful Omega like you, anything goes.” She smiled. “Just between us, you're the one everyone in the pack is curious about, Park Jimin. As Yoongi's Omega from a far away country, you attract everyone's attention.”
“Everyone knows I'm a foreigner.” He muttered.
“You speak our language so sweetly that they understand.”
Jimin was worried, he had to fix this. It wasn't his first language, but he was a member of this pack now. “Don't fool me Noona.” He said. He was just a dull, boring and unworthy Omega. And he had turned his Alpha into a murderer. He swallowed guiltily and tugged at the bottom of his cardigan, wishing he could just disappear. He would rather disappear than cause trouble for his Alpha. He was ashamed to look into Yoongi's mother's eyes, he would have been ashamed of himself.
“What happened now?”
“I'm so sorry…” He said quietly. “I'm really sorry. I made you very upset yesterday... Your mother would be right if she didn't like me, I'll never be in her favour now.”
“Darling, don't be like that.” She patted him on the shoulder. “Would I be here with you if I thought that, please don't. You're young and immature, it's natural to make mistakes.”
“But these mistakes affect everyone.”
“You weren't the reason Alpha was bothering you. It was just a mistake not to tell us about it in time. We would have taken precautions. Although that precaution would have been similar. Yoongi did the right thing.”
“Enough!” Yuri shouted as Jimin's eyes welled up. She sat him down on the bed and pinned the gold hairpin with green stones she had taken from her bag into his wavy hair. “It looks good on you. Look.”
Jimin looked at his hair in the small mirror Yuri had given him. He thought he'd only seen jewellery like this in his dreams. He swallowed and thanked her. Yoongi had bought a lot of jewellery for his wedding today, but he hadn't paid attention to any of it, his eyes were only on the tiny flower earrings. But he couldn't ask for them. He'd sulked at him, as if the Alpha needed to be nice to him.
It was just... He didn't know. Jimin felt really, really bad and projected it outwards. He didn't know how much of it he should have projected onto him. When Yoongi had made some nasty insinuations towards him, they had lost contact. But there was no equality between them. There were secrets that Yoongi didn't know as much as Jimin did and he judged him accordingly. If he had known that they were soulmates, he wouldn't have said those things.
Would he have said it?
He wanted to say that he was his soulmate at all costs. This secret was now in his throat, preventing him from breathing. He would tell him very soon. As soon as the wedding was over.
“How about some make up?”
Jimin fixed his undecided gaze on her face. He had never worn make-up before. “I don't think I want to.”
“I understand that you're naturally beautiful, dear.”
“No, that's not what I meant.”
“Just a little blush then, you're so pale.” Before he could object, Yuri opened the small box in his hand. Using what looked like cotton wool, she applied a red, creamy blush to his cheeks and then a little to his eyelids. “It looks so natural.”
Jimin found his reflection unpleasant. Even though he felt like a circus monkey, he remained silent. After a while he stopped sighing and let Yuri lead him out of the room. Yoongi was at the top of the stairs on his way down, and when they locked eyes for a moment, Yuri immediately ran away. “I have to do something, I'll be right back.”
When Yoongi reached him with heavy steps, he looked around, everyone had gone into a room. He glanced at Omega and then looked away. “Are you going to a party?”
“Your sister made me.” He said, staring at the floor. One step above him, his Alpha was very close.
“It's your party too.”
“I appreciate it, but it wasn't necessary.”
“You should go, it'll clear your head.” He said. “Your hairpin looks good on you.”
Jimin realised what he had said, put his hand on his hairpin and stammered. “T-thank you.”
Yoongi didn't manage to say what he wanted to, he felt forced to stop when Yuri left the room. He leaned over to Jimin and kissed him coldly on the cheek. He could have just left, no one would have questioned it. But he couldn't. Jimin's face fell. It didn't matter because only the two of them felt that his kiss was cold, it was just an impression. “Have fun, love, I'll be home.”
“Let's go now. Leave us alone Yoongi.”
“All right, my Omega is in your care, don't let him get bored.”
“He'll be the star of the night, I can't promise.” Jimin came to as she grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. He was still thinking about how cold that kiss had felt. It was like kissing a corpse.
Why wasn't everything getting better?
He and Yuri walked ten minutes to the two-storey, medium-sized Omega house up the road from the mansion. It had been specially decorated and lit for tonight, only Betas and Omegas were allowed inside, with a few Beta watchers standing around. Jimin's steps were backwards as he shoved his hands into his coat pockets. They ran into Jungkook as Yuri grabbed his arm and pulled him along. The Alpha ran towards them as they saw him going down the stairs of the tavern. “Welcome, Taehyung is inside waiting for you. Everyone's here. The whole neighbourhood is here.”
“What are you doing here, shorty?”
Jungkook frowned at his sister and showed the jewellery box of stones in his hand. “I came to give them to him, but he scolded me, saying it wasn't the right time yet.”
“What did he make you buy?”
As Jungkook pulled them into a corner and eagerly opened the lid of the box, Jimin was greeted with the most extravagant necklace he had ever seen. It was hand carved from large diamonds and who knows how much it cost. “It's beautiful.” He said, his eyes sparkling. “Very Taehyung…” Yuri added. “He wouldn't settle for anything less.”
“I had it made.” Jungkook said as he closed the box. “I designed it.”
Yuri patted him on the shoulder, “Believe me, I feel sorry for you… Come on, don't hold us back.” hse giggled after saying goodbye to him. “He's taking after Yoongi, but it's a disaster, what were those stones?”
"Yoongi?" Jimin asked as they entered the lighted hall.
“Yes, don't you know, Yoongi loves to design things too. Ever since he was little, he used to retreat into his own space and design things day and night in his room. Of course, he likes carving wood more than jewellery.”
He didn't know that, what did he know? He smiled bitterly. To avoid embarrassment, he added. “Oh, yes, he mentioned that.”
As they entered, they were greeted by heavy smells mixing with each other and the glare of the lights hitting their faces. The place was full of fancy Omegas, all dressed up as nicely as possible for this special occasion. Now he understood Yuri's point. He looked as ordinary as a servant Beta again. Of course he didn't say anything about it, he was happy as he was. What he wanted was to be alone in a corner and have a glass of mulled wine, which had been specially distributed for the evening.
Yuri bought two mulled wines for both of them in porcelain glasses after going to the counter where the Beta was serving in the corner. “One of the good things about being rich is that we rarely get to drink wine.”
Jimin sniffed at the red wine. It didn't smell good. Even though he was afraid of another soju disaster, he held on to the glass and went where Yuri pulled him. “Let's go say hello to Taehyung, come on.”
Taehyung was sitting elegantly on the red seat that looked like a decorated throne at the top of the hall. He was laughing with the Omegas around him when he noticed them. “Ah, here are the Omegas...This is Jimin who has a lot of troublemakers, you wanted to meet him, here he is.” He smiled at him insincerely and gestured with his hand. “Please come in Jimin.”
The poor Omega swallowed. With a smile on his face, he melted into the crowd that was watching him intently. “Hello…” He said and bowed his head. “I'm Jimin.”
“Oh, so that's him?”
“Such a handsome young Omega.”
“He's very thin.”
“He's so plainly dressed, who'd think he’s gonna be a bride at the Min mansion.”
“We heard that his Alpha almost died in yesterday's events. Look, what a lucky Omega, what Omega has such an Alpha?”
As he heard such things, one of them, a tall and beautiful Omega with long blonde hair, stepped forward. She hugged him. “Hi Jimin, I'm Kim Dahlia, I'm Taehyung's distant cousin, you'll have to excuse those who are surprised, they're surprised that Yoongi is a perpetual bachelor, we're all fascinated that he chose an Omega, like you, as his mate.”
“What's wrong with Jimin?”
It was Yuri who asked. The last thing Jimin wanted was another unpleasantness because of him, especially on Taehyung's night. The Omega named Dahlia smiled and drank her wine. “It was nothing, just an Omega like the rest of us. We only heard that he had been thrown out of the packs and that he was an orphan. But the most important thing was what happened last night. That's why we were curious.”
“Thank you all.” Jimin interjected before Taehyung turned his piercing gaze on him. Jimin also froze when he heard about last night. He had no intention of being the centre of attention. “You guys have fun, we'll just sit over here. Taehyung, you look beautiful too, everything looks great.”
Taehyung looked at him out of the corner of his eye and nodded, “Thanks.” He said in a flat voice. “Sit down, it's going to be a long night.”
“Isn't it his night too? He's also getting married in two days.” It was another Omega who said this. Taehyung replied, “I organised this night, everyone else is invited. Jimin is a special guest too, he is Yoongi's Omega.” Then he reached out and took Jimin's hand, his hands were soft. “Jimin doesn't like this kind of thing, he doesn't want to be in the public eye. That's why I said that.”
“Yeah, Taehyung is right. Have fun all.” As Jimin walked away from the Omega crowd to a secluded area he had found and sat down, Hoseok who was sitting in the opposite chair looked at him. His hair was shiny and he was wearing a silk dress. “Hoseok Hyung? Did you come too?”
“I came running when I heard you were coming and we haven't seen each other since.”
“Yes, we didn't see each other again.”
“I heard what happened, my love. I'm glad you're all right.”
Surprised at how quickly everything was heard here, he lowered his eyes. “Thank you.”
“You must be worried about Yoongi, but don't be. He's a bit of a crazy Alpha, he's put a lot of Alphas in their place so far.”
“Did he kill them?” Hoseok laughed as his eyes widened. “No. But he did his best to make sure they were punished. This time he had to do it himself, it was about you.”
“That didn't feel good, not at all.” He looked around uncomfortably, wanting to run away. Yuri was talking to a male Beta on the right, occasionally glancing in their direction.
“But you don't seem too happy about it.” Hoseok sat back and sighed. “Then let's drop the subject and I'll give you a little present.”
“A gift?”
“Here, please, for the wedding.”
“But you've already done so much...”
“I felt like it!” Jimin smiled slightly and opened the ribbon of the box. When he saw what was inside, Jimin smiled wide. His eyes filled with tears. Although he remembered very little about his childhood and his family, he remembered his mother's fur leather gloves, because he loved to steal them from his room and put them on his hands. They were so warm that he wanted to wear them on his little hands when he played snowball, but his mother always objected. These gloves he saw now were just like his mother's. They even had long beads dangling from the wrist. “It's beautiful, Hyung.”
“Do you like them? I made them myself, your hands were freezing the last time you came.”
“I love it, it's a precious gift for me.” He told the truth, he couldn't have made him happier. He wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes with his hand.
“Oh little Omega!” Jimin returned the hug. He pulled him into his arms and let himself be wrapped in the artificial flower scent that wafted from the Beta.
*****
Even if the right thing to do would have been to stay there until the night of celebration was over, he couldn't do it. Jimin was so sleepy now that he couldn't keep his eyes open. Yuri felt sorry for him and nudged him. The owners of the party should be the last to leave, but I don't think you'll last much longer.
“Sorry... I'm fine.” He rubbed his eyes, but they closed again. “I'm waking up now.”
“The wine must have been too much for him.” Hoseok added. “I'll take him home if you want, you stay here.”
Chaerin looked at her with displeasure. “We'll be here for a few more hours, you go.”
The Omega returned his cold gaze and bowed his head, which was fine with him. The noise of the people and the music had made his head swollen and tired. He hadn't stayed out this late for a long time. In his old life, his day would have ended after nine o'clock. “Well, have a good time.”
She didn't answer and he didn't expect her to, so he got up and hugged Yuri. Then he met Taehyung and said goodbye to him as well. Taehyung smiled at him and showed him the necklace that Jungkook had come and given him an hour ago when he had been nice to him among his friends. “Do you like it? I thought Yoongi would come over and bring you something...”
Jimin shrugged, “It's nice but it's too flashy, it's not really my kind of thing but it looks good on you” And without listening to his answer he went out into the cold and started to walk home with Hoseok who was waiting for him there. “I can go alone, you go back if you want, Hyung.”
“No way, I need to see you get home safely.”
“Thank you again for tonight and for your gift. You are such a good person.” He confessed. “It makes me so happy to have someone like you in my life.”
“'That's because you are a good man.” He patted his shoulder. “How is Taehyung? He's a demanding Omega, isn't he?”
“We don't communicate much. I'm not on his level, but I don't worry about that.”
“He's had everything he's ever wanted in his life, except this wedding. He's waited a long time, that's why he's so prominent.”
“Chaerin-shi loves him very much.”
“She'll love you too, once she gets to know you.”
He pouted thoughtfully. “After I turned her son into a murderer? I don't think so.”
“Don't be so sure, things can change so quickly.” Hoseok sighed. It had started to snow lightly in the still air, they put their hats on their heads. “And what if she doesn't? You're practically married to Yoongi.”
“He's really special, you're lucky he chose you. And it seems to me that he's as lucky as you are. You're perfect for each other.”
“Special…” Jimin repeated. What was special about him? That he was a fox?
“Foxes are mystical creatures. They have the power to heal souls and many other things. Yoongi has suppressed this part of himself for years. But somehow I think his choice of you has something to do with his fox. He has to trust the person he chooses as a mate very much, and foxes are very hard to trust.”
He almost laughed, it was all a lie, no legend could make it real. The power to heal souls... when they couldn't even heal their own? “And his first Omega?” He asked, his heart aching.
Hoseok was stunned, he had not expected such an honest question, but he recovered, “Yoongi was very young back then, Jimin. It was completely different than now. You had to be there to know the story. You might not believe what I tell you, you might always have doubts.”
“I should have been there…” He repeated, maybe it wouldn't have been like this. I was too late.
“You're different. Hyuna was just a shadow, a guilt, a guilty conscience.”
As curious as he was, they were in the mansion now, so he couldn't ask. New pieces had been added to the puzzle, that was for sure. Tonight he had something new to think about, something to occupy his mind. “Good night, Hyung.” He said and hugged him. “Go safe.”
*****
(Two hours ago)
Yoongi thought he would have some time to think when no one else was home. But not ten minutes after they left, there was a loud knock at the door and two burly warrior alphas stood in front of him. It was Seungri and Yeol, his old sparring partners. But when he saw nothing but seriousness in their faces, he frowned.
“Hello Yoongi, leader Namjoon has invited you to have dinner at his house and has asked us to accompany you.”
Yoongi knew what this meant. What happened yesterday had been heard all over the neighbourhood and he would have to explain the incident. He sighed and nodded, “I'm coming, you can go.”
“It's better if we wait...”
He laughed mockingly as he put on his jacket, “What? Or will I run away?”
“Orders are orders Yoongi, I'm sorry.”
“Alright…” He pulled his black hat over his head to cover his hair. He pulled the door shut and soon they were inside the large two-storey mansion on the uppermost street of the district. This was a private residence where only the leaders lived. As his friends left him at the door, he shook off the snow before turning right into the candlelit hallway. He walked straight into the hall, not leaving his coat in the Beta. Namjoon was there, he stood up when he saw him and they shook hands quickly. “Good evening, Leader Namjoon, I think I know the reason for this invitation.”
“Please sit down.” He said and sat down on the leather sofa while the betas set the table. Yoongi sat across from him and sat back. He didn't bow to anyone and Namjoon was never that kind of leader anyway. “I'm glad you came, did anyone at home see you? I was looking for a time when they weren't around, so they wouldn't worry.”
“Then you could have just invited me, why send an Alpha to my house?”
“It was necessary.” He cut him off. “I'll get to the point, neither of us have time. Your wedding is in two days, you must be busy.”
“I'm definitely busy.” A cold look passed between them. The last thing Yoongi wanted was to be scolded by a leader, his wolf couldn't take it.
“I can't wait to meet your Omega” They took their seats as the table was set. It was very elaborate for a single Alpha. Yoongi didn't eat anything, just drank the soju. “He's curious about you too.”
He wasn't, he just didn't know. Why should he? Namjoon was more interesting for Yuri.
“Let me get straight to the point. When I heard what happened yesterday, I wanted to talk to you. We don't want to cause a public incident. So I thought I should find out the details. How did it all happen? I'd like to hear it.”
Yoongi patted his forehead and summed up everything he had been through. “He has been bothering Jimin for a long time. Something happened when they met at Jeol and Taehyung and Yuri witnessed it. He told me that the incident was not important, but we realised that it was more serious than he said when he raided the house. He raided my parents' house. By the time I arrived, the Alpha had strangled the Omega. As you can imagine, I couldn't think of trying to reason with him. I tried to calm him down, but he turned into a wolf and ran away from me. I followed him into the woods and finished him off. That's what happened. He was honest. I guess that's what happens when you're marked Omega, you can't control yourself.”
“Primal instinct, huh?” He asked. “We think we control the wolves, but after a while we realise they control us.”
“I suppose so.”
“Besides, you have fox genes. The unravelling you're going through must be difficult.” He added. “You say you have at least three witnesses to this Alpha attacking your Omega.”
“Yes.”
“According to my research, Han Lucas belonged to one of the southernmost packs. Last night we had his carcass brought in, prepared and sent to his pack. We also informed them that we had just cause. According to our supreme law, the death penalty is justified if a wolf deliberately harms a marked omega. Under the circumstances, it seems impossible to criminalise what you have done. I just wanted to hear from you.”
“You listened.” He said. “That's what happened. I didn't want blood on my hands. But I'm disgusted by the thought that that scum is still breathing somewhere. If not Jimin, he could have hurt someone else.”
“Yes, you're right. But we can't just kill them all.”
Yoongi gritted his teeth as he stared silently ahead. He did not like being in front of a dominant Alpha and in his space.
“Thanks for coming and keeping me company. I'll let you know if we get any complaints from Lucas' pack, but I'm sure it won't be fruitful. His family might not even accept him because he committed a shameful offence and I think he was mentally ill.”
“That's always their excuse…” He wiped the corner of his lip with a handkerchief. He hadn't eaten much, but he was full. “If it's over, I'll go home now. My Omega might be back from the party.”
It was true that his mind was really on things at that moment. He was uncomfortable with today's conflict. He wanted to sort things out between them. As hard as it was for him, he wanted to go to the Omega. “Sure, you can go. Good evening, Yoongi... See you at the wedding.”
“Good evening, leader Kim. See you soon.”
He walked out of the house and staggered to his own mansion, and as he lifted the latch of the iron gate and entered, he noticed that the lights were off, and just as he was about to call Junhee, he was startled when the door opened behind him. It was Jimin who walked in all alone. He looked different from when they left three hours ago. His eyes were tired and red and he smelled of wine.
“Jimin…” He said. “Did you come alone?”
Omega crossed his arms and murmured quietly. “No, Hoseok Hyung dropped me off.”
Yoongi sighed in relief. Even though Lucas was dead, he still worried about him. “I just got here too.”
Jimin looked away, there was nothing to talk about after today, he was ashamed of what he had done and said, “I understand, I'll go to my room and sleep right now, I won't bother you.”
He looked at him for a long time, at his Omega, which never looked at him. His white turtleneck was a little too big for him and made him look cute. “Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I'm fine.” Yoongi reached out and lightly grabbed his wrist as he walked past him. “Wait a minute.”
“What's wrong. Do you want something?” The startled Omega whispered. “No one's home. Junhee is at the party too.”
There was no one.
For the first time in a long time, they were so alone and unmasked. Jimin's heart squeezed as he tried to free his wrist. When Yoongi noticed, he quickly pulled his hand back, “Sorry. I was just wondering if we could talk a bit.”
“Nobody's home.” Jimin repeated. “So we don't have to pretend.”
“I'm not pretending.” The Alpha replied. He was bored. Was he only nice to him when people were around? Was that what he thought? “Can't I talk to you when no one's around?” He couldn't help asking as he took off his coat and hung it on the hanger.
“What are we gonna talk about?” Jimin was so tired and wanted nothing more. Just seeing his Alpha seemed to take years off his life. Yoongi watched him as he walked slowly. He sat down at the top of the stairs a few steps away. “About today. I was just at the leader's house and he asked me about yesterday.”
Jimin was surprised and panicked, damn it... Something bad must have happened. He said it so slowly. “Are they going to punish you?”
“No, no, no. It's nothing like that. He just wanted to hear it from me.”
“Really? They won't banish you?”
Yoongi laughed as he turned around. “No, Jimin. No punishment.”
Relieved, he exhaled and said, “Everyone is talking about it, about you killing the Alpha.” He said under his breath. “They kept asking me about it. Some of them seemed jealous of me, I was surprised.”
Yoongi's smile escaped his lips for the second time. He couldn't recover when the Omega caught him. Omega thought his smile looked like heartbreak. “Were they jealous? Why?”
“I guess their Alphas don't do that. I don't understand. I don't want to understand. It doesn't make sense.”
“You think so?” The Alpha sat down on the step next to him, even though there was plenty of room. He rested his elbows on his knees. “I thought Omegas liked to feel possessed and their Alphas to be jealous of them.”
“Please don't…” He whimpered. ‘We're not even real’ he wanted to say but stopped because it would hurt. Maybe that was why Jimin had made such a big deal out of it. An Alpha he knew was his soulmate. He had been a murderer. And Jimin couldn't help but think ahead. If he was like this now, what would happen in the future? Would he always lose control like this? Who was his Alpha? “I never wanted you to have blood on your hands.”
Yoongi nodded after a moment of silence. “I screwed up. I admit it.”
“It's my fault too, I should have stopped you.”
“You can't stop wolves, even I couldn't. At that moment I felt dizzy, as if I had stopped being myself. All I wanted to do was take his life, and it was a traumatic moment for me too.” He sighed. “I mean, I don't slit the throats of everyone I meet, I don't want you to think of me that way. And about what I said today... I'm sorry, I said I don't care if you hate me, but I lied.”
Jimin's breath caught in his throat as he raised his trembling eyes to meet the Alpha's yellow ones. The Alpha added after wetting his parted lips. “I don't want to live in the same house with someone who hates me. It would be exhausting for both of us. So I hope you'll forgive me.”
“If you forgive me, too…” Jimin said in a weak voice. Alpha just wanted his conscience to be quiet, nothing more. What a fool he was to get his hopes up again.
“You haven't done anything to forgive, that's fine with me.”
“Good.” Jimin stood up, feeling like he was going to cry. “All right. I... I'd better go. Good night, Yoongi.”
“Good night, Jimin.”
No night was good if he didn't recognise him, but who knew when Yoongi would realise that.
Notes:
*The Wolven Storm ( Priscilla's Song)
Hi again! It was quite a long chapter, and there will be much longer chapters ahead >-<
Yoongi?? omg?? 🥸 Did you expect him to kill Lucas?
Anywayyy, I hope you enjoyed it! 😚 Please remember to leave kudos and comment, ty ty 😼🫶🏽
Chapter 13: Bridal
Chapter Text
- "You were right, we were as different as night and day, we were scared to be one".
Today was the longest and hardest day in Jimin's life.
They got married in front of everyone. There were no objections, no resistance. Everyone, even Yoongi's dissatisfied family, had accepted this marriage. Even if they did not accept him as an Omega, they had to accept their fate. When it came to killing two birds with one stone, small obstacles were insignificant. And Jimin was an insignificant obstacle. His presence was a stepping stone on the way to Taehyung. The sooner he and Yoongi got married, the sooner the name of the Min family would go on, and the sooner Taehyung would get married to Jungkook.
The pink detailed silk hanbok hung on a hook on the ceiling of the room and Jimin had been thinking for about an hour without taking his eyes off the impressive hanbok. His mind was very fast, new memories came quickly to replace the ones that were flowing. His mum, his dad, all the people he knew, all the bad things he'd been through, Lucas... Yoongi. Which one would he think of? It was happening, there was no escape now.
Soon Junhee and the chambermaids would come into the room to help him get ready. That's what Yuri had told him when she visited him early. She held his warm hands and told him that the wedding procession would begin in a few hours. Although he secretly wanted her to be with him during the ceremony, Yuri had too much to do. Too many things to take care of, so he had let her go.
He didn't want anyone to see his eyes filled with fear.
He married a soulmate who didn't love him. It was like taking a seven-layered stranger into his bed whose habits he didn't know. It's like ice. Cold. If it lasted, his heart would stop. He wanted everything to change. But in the two and a half weeks since he had met Yoongi, nothing had changed.
He sat on the bed for a while in his white underwear. When were they coming? Had they forgotten him here? Everyone's eyes and thoughts would be on Taehyung, it was natural to be forgotten. As he lowered his eyes to the floor, there was a knock at the door. Three betas, dressed for a wedding, entered. “Good morning, Omega Jimin. We were told to get you ready.”
“Well, come in.”
The younger Beta reached over and quickly pulled the hanbok down from the hook. The embroidery that Jimin had worked on with Yuri over the past two days was revealed. If it had been up to Jimin, it would have been a disaster. Luckily, Yuri had spent the morning repairing the broken embroidery so it didn't look too bad. It was the first time he had ever tried something like this. He knew he was in trouble as soon as he started. He would never be like the other Omegas. His hands were no good with thread or embroidery needles. His hands were already calloused from farming and cleaning. They were not soft at all, they did not even look like they belonged to an Omega. So the little blue flowers he wanted to embroider on the chest of the hanbok overwhelmed him, and no matter how hard he tried, they didn't come out the way he wanted. Seeing this, Yuri corrected the ugly embroidery as best she could. She embroidered a single blue flower. “You'll learn…” hse said as Jimin pouted. “It's not like we're born knowing.”
He didn't think so.
“We'll put your hanbok on first and then do your hair.”
“Okay…” He said, running his fingers through his hair. Since he hadn't had a haircut in a long time and was no longer a servant, his hair had grown well. He had lived in this pack long enough to know that it was a privilege, a sign of status. Long hair was a symbol of wealth and status for an Omega, and he had often seen the long, wiry hair of married and young Omegas.
Putting on the three pieces of hanbok proved to be quite an effort. As Jimin stood there, they started to change his underwear. But he quickly noticed and shook his head from side to side. “I'll wear them.”
“But...”
He took the underwear from Beta's hand and threw himself into the bathroom. What if he hadn't noticed and they had taken his shirt off before he knew what was happening? What if they had seen his flowers? His blood froze with fear. When he returned to the Betas, he ignored the confused looks on their faces. Now they could put on the rest of their clothes in peace. He put on his outer garment, traditionally known as his geogori. It was light pink and made of soft fabric. This pink fabric was very loose and came down to his knees. Jimin swallowed as the servants took the shiny silver belt from the bed. He turned his head to see what it looked like. He'd worn this hanbok before, but now it was different.
On his right side there was a tiny blue flower. Their lonely flower.
“Where is Garot?” Junhee asked and the Beta on the right answered. “What is Garo?” He felt bad that he had never heard this word before and wanted to know.
“Garot, Omega Jimin.” Junhee corrected and Jimin blushed. “It's a kind of sash.”
The Beta tied the garot around his waist and tightened it. Then he added the jewelled belt ornaments that were worn for good luck. “You look very elegant.” The smaller of the Betas said, her eyes shining as she watched the Omega.
The Omega took it so lightly that when he looked around to see who she was talking to, he blushed at the realisation that he was the only Omega in the room. “Thank you…” He whispered.
“This is your Alpha's wedding present, a hanbok pin.” Junhee took the elegant gold ornament out of the box. She threaded the pin through the fabric of his jacket. It was a tiny hummingbird. “The hummingbird is a symbol of fertility.” Junhee added. “It has an important place in our pack. Omegas who marry often use hummingbird symbols to represent that.”
“This is beautiful.”
“Now let's do your hair.”
“Your hair is long enough, we could use the crown.” The other said.
Noticing that they were taking ideas from him, he nodded, “You know best.” Junhee was surprised, she had never seen an Omega who didn't have an opinion, not even at his own wedding. Didn't he expect anything from life? “Yes, Omega Jimin, I have a model in mind. Let me know if you don't like it.”
“I'm sure I'll like it.”
He wanted to sit down because he was tired, and while he waited for his hair to be done, he started eating the winter fruit on the coffee table. “How long do weddings take here, Junhee?”
“It depends on the wealth of the family.” The Beta said as she gently ran an embroidered comb through the Omega's wiry hair. “This is a wedding that's been expected for years, so it could take days.”
“Days?”
“This is a wedding that's been expected for years, we can't expect it to be a simple event. There will be free food and entertainment for a few days. But you couples can retire to your homes on the first night…”
“I haven't seen my house yet.” He said, just thinking about what it would look like. After all, they would live in that house all alone, like two strangers. So Jimin had to do something. He would think about it later.
“Because it's bad luck, Jimin-shi.”
“Yesterday, everyone left the dowry at home, but they wouldn't let me go.”
“It must be difficult for you, but it's only a matter of time.”
“I'm used to waiting.” He smiled. “How was the house? Did you like it?”
“It was beautiful, like everything Chaerin-shi does. She left most of the decorating to you. The Omega makes the nest, you know.”
Half an hour later, they braided some of his hair, which was shiny from combing, and left the rest loose. They placed a crown of spring flowers on his head, decorated with silver and diamonds. Just then, Yuri appeared in a dark green dress, and his eyes filled with tears when she saw him. “Great Eloa, are you Jimin?”
“Yes…” The unsmiling Omega turned and took her hand. “Do I look okay? Is it too extravagant? Yoongi gave me this.” He pointed at the hummingbird. “Is my jewellery too much of an eyesore?” The jewellery was a pair of pearl earrings and a simple bracelet.
“You look beautiful, Jimin.” Yuri said. “I want to do your make-up. I have some time, will you accept?”
His eyes lit up at the offer. “Yes, of course. Is everyone ready?”
“Yes, we're all going to Taehyung's house. We have to pick up Omega at his house.”
“Where is Yoongi?” He asked with his heart in his mouth. He wanted to see him so much and at the same time he was running away from this moment.
“He's already prepared, waiting for you.” She stroked his cheek. “I know it's not fair to both sides, and I'm sorry Jimin, I did my best, but they're just trying to get away with it because you don't have a home to take you to.”
“You're right, and we're already mated. We don't need too much glamour.”
“That's what Yoongi said. It's like the pot calling the kettle black.” She said and touched the dark creamy lip colour she took out of the bag to Jimin's full lips. When she completed his look with a little make-up on his cheeks and eyelids, Jimin's nose scratched and he grimaced. He had never been dressed up like this before, everything he had experienced was a first.
“Look at you, you're so beautiful.” She pulled him away and forced him to look in the mirror. Jimin looked at his reflection and blinked his curious eyes. Well, he had to admit that this was the first time he had ever looked so beautiful. The beautiful brown of his eyes was accentuated by light black eye make-up and his pale skin glowed with a blush. His lips were full and soft and he looked like he was made for kissing. He felt embarrassed. He wasn't sure what awaited him at the end of this night and he didn't want to think about it. “It's wonderful…” He said. “Your hands are wonderful…”
“That's because my model is great.” Yuri said, hugging him. “Shall we go down without waiting? Your Alpha is impatient to see you.”
Nodding his head in agreement, Jimin fumbled, damn it. It was happening. He was getting married. His tongue was dry from excitement and nervousness. He reached over and grabbed a glass of orange juice from the coffee table, took a few sips and smiled. “Okay, I'm ready.”
“Oh, we almost forgot, where's the veil?” She looked around in panic. She found the embroidered off-white tulle veil on the bed and immediately attached it to Jimin's tiara and pulled it down over his face. “Let's call your Alpha and go.”
When Jimin stared at her face she chuckled and added. “It's the tradition, my dear. He's supposed to mark you with his scent just before the wedding ceremony.”
“'What?” He flushed, his reaction unwarranted, “I didn't know.” The last time he'd seen Yoongi was at dinner last night. He hadn't seen him since because both his Alpha and Jungkook had been extremely busy with the wedding preparations. They hadn't really talked much after the Lucas incident. And the wedding hadn't helped either. So Jimin had let everything slide.
“You're mated, but since you haven't been together for days, your scents have weakened, so it would be good.”
“Weakened?” He asked. He didn't know what they smelled like to outsiders. Since their mark was half, it had weakened over time, he had never thought of that.
“Let's get out of here, Junhee.” There was a knock on the door a minute after Yuri had giggled and left with his companions. Just once. Jimin swallowed hard, looked in the mirror one last time and said, “You can come.”
When Yoongi entered wearing a dark wedding hanbok, he closed the door without taking his eyes off him. Jimin held his breath. “Hello…”
“Hi…” Jimin fought to keep his teeth from plundering his lips, he couldn't mess up his make-up but he didn't know what to do. He'd never seen his Alpha look so good. He already had a nice, attractive side to him. But seeing him in a hanbok, with his beautiful red hair and white skin, made him even more attractive. On the collar of his hanbok was an almost invisible flower. Jimin had embroidered it with Yuri. Jimin couldn't resist leaving a trace of it on both hanboks, just like the flowers on his waist. Yuri said that she had never seen the flower before and Jimin quickly made up a lie. He was disgusted that he was sinking deeper and deeper into this sea of lies. “I like it.” He said, averting his eyes. “It symbolises reunion against all odds.”
It certainly didn't symbolise them. The mountain could meet the mountain, but in their situation, two people could not meet.
When their eyes met for a moment, Yoongi cleared his throat. “I don't want to bother you, but you know the traditions, so...”
“I know, Yoongi.” He said, saving him a lot of trouble. “Your sister said we have to. Let's just do it.”
With a nod, the Alpha took a step away from him and said, “You look very pretty, your hanbok suits you.” And Jimin couldn't control his heart again. He blushed. “So do you.”
“I did my best.” The Alpha's finger moved slowly to the hummingbird pin on his chest. “You're wearing this.”
“Oh yeah... They told me to wear it.”
Yoongi nodded his head gently. Then his eyes moved to the embroidery on both hanbok. “That's nice of you. I thought you didn't know how to embroider.”
“I tried to learn. Yuri noona worked hard with me. I did my best. Do you like it?” He asked expectantly.
Did he recognise the flower?
His expression never changed, “Yes. They’re good.” And he nodded. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to mark you, we don't have much time.”
“Right, right…” Jimin cleared his throat and bowed his head, he was embarrassed to look at Yoongi's face, even through the veil. The only thing he could think of was that shocking moment when he had mated with him in the hunting lodge. “Sit down if you want.”
“I'm fine.”
Yoongi nodded his head in agreement, then tuned his ears to the sounds coming from below. With his fingers, he grasped the elegant veil attached to the omega's head and lifted it to the back of his head. Next came the collar of her hanbok, fastened with a cylindrical button. He paused for a moment to look at the Omega's face, transformed by make-up and a little grooming. He looked noble and elegant, a far different sight from the first time he had seen him. He had changed so much, becoming a true Omega. It was not hard to understand why his wolf was crazy about him. But he would not go mad. He would not give in to his primal instincts and break his promise. Pulling himself together, the Alpha undid the button. He tried to smile, to comfort the Omega who was trembling under his touch. “It must have taken a long time to put on the hanbok.”
“Yes, it was quite an effort.” Jimin was grateful for the distraction, but resentful at the same time. If he had known him, this would have been one of the couple's most special moments. Now the mark was a burden they were trying to get rid of.
“I must take this opportunity to thank you again.” Their eyes met as he grabbed his chin. He forced him to raise his head until he was looking at him. “For what?” The Omega asked in a whisper. If he had reached out, he would have been close enough to kiss those beautiful lips, he was distracted.
“For playing this game with me, for putting up with me, and you will. I hope I never make you regret it, I'll do my best. We're moving into our own house now…” the Alpha withdrew his warm fingers and the rest was emptiness. “You won't have to pretend anymore, I'm sure you'll like the house. You'll have plenty of space to do what you want.”
“I'm sure…” His voice cracked. As if all he needed was a house... Yoongi didn't understand him at all, and he wouldn't unless Jimin spoke up and explained. “I thank you too, Yoongi… For giving me this life.”
Yoongi said nothing more and slowly brought his nose closer to mark him with his scent. He rubbed it against the warm hollow of the omega's neck, the place where he had bitten and left his mark some time ago, releasing his pheromones to maintain that warm contact, that most intimate moment between wolves. The Omega's knees trembled and his fingers gripped the Alpha's upper arm as he felt as if he were going to fall from the dizziness.
It had to stop... If it was so hard to be marked with him, how would they make pups when the time came? How would they manage their heat? How would Jimin live without falling under his spell? His cheeks flushed red, burning hot.
A few minutes felt like a year. Yoongi shook his head quickly and stepped back in confusion. “Sorry to bother you.” He said as soon as he saw the look on Omega's face.
Yoongi thought that the Omega was uncomfortable with his touch and felt bad.
But he couldn't have been more wrong. Jimin shook his head from side to side, “It's okay, don't apologise.” He mumbled. “It's just something I'm not used to.”
“Believe me, I'm not used to it either.” He turned away. “Especially with the way my wolf has been behaving lately, it's even harder.”
Maybe it would have been easier if he'd listened to his wolf. “Is your wolf being too hard on you?”
“I haven't felt him for a long time, we've never been on good terms.”
“And the fox…”
He interrupted him. “He doesn't exist for me.” Then his eyes flickered back and forth in the Omega's undecided eyes. As if he was waiting for something, but couldn't say it. Yoongi mumbled, not wanting to prolong this. “What about you?”
“Me what?”
“Aren't you going to mark me?”
“What?” Jimin's light brown eyes widened. He put his hand to his chin, not knowing where to put it. “Me?”
“You.” The Alpha replied with a feeling of overwhelm, their relationship was going well enough except for the physical contact. If only they didn't have to touch each other by force. “Didn't you know that Omegas also mark their Alphas with their scent? It wouldn't be right for me to be the only one, at least for today.”
“I, uh, yeah… You're right.”
“You don't seem to want to, but who among us does it willingly? We have to put up with it.”
Jimin clumsily tried to change the subject, “No, it's not that…” But he fell silent as if the end of the sentence was an abyss. It was Yoongi who had mated with him. It was Yoongi who had touched him, it was Yoongi who had hugged him and pulled him to himself. Jimin had never taken such a step before, never voluntarily approached his Alpha. This was going to be so hard for him, how could he have forgotten? He had just learned how to do it. He rubbed his nose against his neck, against the thin skin. What if he lost control of his heart?
He nodded as he lowered his hand to his heart. “All right, I'll do it if I have to.”
“Take a deep breath. It will help you smell more clearly.”
Jimin nodded quickly and followed his advice. It had been really sudden. He hadn't prepared for it and something told him he was going to collapse. Soon his heart clenched and he took a step closer, the Alpha's skin was very close to his. For a moment he froze, as if he had come to the edge of a cliff.
Yoongi realised that he was in a difficult situation and moved closer to help him. He cupped the Omega's slender waist with his long fingers and stopped when their chests touched.
It was hard as hell for both of them. And it would get harder from day to day.
Jimin was still nervous and Yoongi was no better. He had just marked him and even the mark had hurt him less than this. For reasons he didn't know. Or maybe he was really running away. The darkness he was dragging Jimin with him became more and more obvious with every step.
He didn't deserve that, so why didn't he fight? Maybe Jimin wasn't as upset as he thought, it was all in his head. Still, his guilty conscience wouldn't leave him alone. Sometimes he wished he'd never made the offer and let him go on his way.
“You can do this.” He said in a cracked voice as the silence grew heavy. “It's all right. I'll feel the same way you do.”
Jimin almost snapped, ‘You can't feel.’ It was impossible for him to feel like him. Jimin was the only one who had died inside. When his soulmate's fingers almost touched the flowers at his waist, he could never feel like him. ‘Idiot, idiot! Why don't you get me out of this mess?’ He gritted his teeth and shook his head vaguely.
Yoongi waited. He replayed what he had just said over and over again in his mind. Even though he couldn't admit it, fear gripped his body. He would be marked for the first time, but the reason for the pain was different. An offer he had refused years ago had cost him four years of his life. If he had said yes, he would now know what it felt like. Maybe he would not have spent most of his life with a guilty conscience. He would have been someone else.
He had refused to be marked with Hyuna. He had killed her.
He took a startled step back when he felt Jimin's breath on his neck and realised what he'd done as the truth dawned in his eyes. “Just do it…” He said hesitantly. He had been so stupid, he had made the Omega misunderstand everything. He had to clean up the mess he had made.
“Are you okay?” Jimin asked as he stiffened, his withdrawal making this difficult moment even harder. Yoongi nodded but he didn't feel well, his face turned white. Jimin also took a step back, wrapped his arms around himself and asked, “Can I not do it? You're obviously uncomfortable.”
Yoongi snapped, not knowing what to say. “You didn't really want me to mark you either. We have to do it because we have to.”
“So you're uncomfortable.”
“I didn't say that.”
“What did you say?” He pressed, he had no right to upset him on his happiest day in his wedding hanbok. “Couldn't you just pretend now too?” His throat tightened into a knot as his eyes filled. “What would have happened if you had pretended instead of withdrawing? Am I so unbearable to you? God... We're getting married, Yoongi.”
Yoongi came closer, almost letting his guard down, but stopped and lowered his head. “I know that.”
Jimin didn't look up, if he did the Alpha would see his glassy eyes. “Let's go.” But Yoongi continued to stand like a wall in front of him, and after a moment he said quietly. “Look at me…” The sounds from downstairs carried into the room.
“I'm not leaving this room until you mark me.” Yoongi insisted when Jimin made no sound. Omega lifted his head and looked into his fiery hot eyes, wondering if he meant it. He would believe it if he didn't know him.
Did he know him?
“Come on... What just happened wasn't about you, so stop thinking like that.” He admitted. Nothing in his life was about him anyway. Jimin shrugged. He couldn't run away anymore, it would bore him.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.” He said clearly. “I've been thinking about things I don't want to remember. And, strange as it may seem, I have fears too. As much as you do.”
It was rare for him to open up. He was fragile and Jimin shook his head, afraid to ruin the moment. “It's not strange to me... Everyone has fears.”
“Just do it.”
Jimin looked down at him slightly as he reluctantly approached him again. Their eyes locked for a few seconds before Jimin was the first to pull his eyes back, thinking of the impossible obstacle his desperate wolf had to overcome. How far would his wolf have to travel to reach Alpha? They had travelled all over the world, would this torture continue in the other world? Would they be reunited? He clenched his hands into fists at his sides. But when he brought his nose close to the Alpha's neck, the intense, tickling scent made him reluctantly relax.
It was the scent of his soulmate. It was supposed to smell like home. Like peace and a safe haven.
Yes, it was safe, it was true, but it was as safe as an ice-cold house. It had only one door and four walls. And the drops of cold that rained down from its open roof made it feel very cold. But somehow it still knew how to excite his wolf and squeeze his heart.
He rubbed his nose against the warm skin and a faint, hoarse murmur escaped his throat, the way wolves do when they smell each other. He didn't even notice it, his eyes closed in the intensity of the moment, his fingers gripping the Alpha's hanbok.
His eyes widened as he brushed his lips against the Alpha's skin. They both pulled back at the same time. When he saw the unease in Yoongi's eyes, he apologised. He was sure he had done something wrong.
“There is nothing to apologise for.” Yoongi swallowed hard and lifted his collar to cover his exposed neck, as if he could hurt him.
Jimin felt himself trembling from what had just happened. It was the first time he had been so close to his Alpha, the first time he had been the one to touch him. He couldn't stop hoping that something would change. The result was disappointing again. But something inside him changed with every contact, leaving marks on his skin that would never fade.
When there was a knock at the door, Yoongi snapped out of his distraction and pointed to the door. “Let's go.”
“Y-yes.”
“This is one of the hardest parts of the game. I can't promise it will be easy, but you can trust me that I will do my best to get it done as soon as possible.”
“I can do it.”
“Now go downstairs and get into the car that's been prepared for you, Yuri will be there, I told you.”
“You?”
“'We'll all go to Taehyung's house and pick him up, then go to the wedding tent. You'll just sit in the car and wait until we get to the tent, don't worry.”
After nodding his head, he took his mate's arm and they walked down the stairs together.
It was like walking to death.
*****
Despite Taehyung being the star of the day, many people flocked to the garden of the mansion to see them, much to Jimin's surprise, and when he realised that people admired him and wished him well, he even smiled and waved to them in the few minutes until he left the mansion and walked to the elegantly decorated carriage.
All the members of the family, elegantly dressed and prepared, watched him get into the carriage and managed to smile, albeit coldly. Chaerin seemed happy as she received congratulations from those around her. Before Jimin got into the car, he heard Yoongi wishing him good luck over the noise. He took his offered hand and climbed up the steps to sit on the soft seat.
Jimin's heart was in his ears when Yuri joined him. “It's like the whole pack is here.” Yuri laughed at his comment. “Don't let it show, but the pack was more curious about Yoongi's mate than Taehyung.”
“No way…” He giggled and tried to remove his veil, but Yuri stopped him. “Only Yoongi can take it off.”
“Oh... Is that so?”
“At night.”
“At night?”
Yuri giggled as she saw his widening eyes through the veil. “Yes, my dear... When you're home and alone.”
Jimin felt a twinge in his stomach as his eyes shifted to the Alpha beside the car, the journey was about to begin. The Alpha was waiting for Jungkook with a bunch of flowers and chatting with the old man next to him.
He would be alone with him now.
The first night he had heard that married couples made love. But since they were not a real couple, they did not have to make love. Or should they? He didn't know, damn it. Thinking of his flowers, he panicked and took a deep breath. Yoongi looked back into the car and Jimin lowered his head.
It felt disgusting to lie to him. He had to break the seal on his tongue as soon as possible and face the consequences. Even if revealing this secret would make Yoongi hate him even more.
He couldn't keep it from him at any cost.
*****
After an hour they finally arrived at the wedding tent in question, in a large field high above the neighbourhood. It was high enough to overlook the Kim Pack. And from what Jimin could see through the car window, it was beautifully prepared for the wedding. Inside the tent were two golden embroidered wooden chairs with red cushions and plenty of refreshments. The tent was dimly lit by candelabras on either side. Taehyung and Jimin got out of the different cars and walked straight to their respective tents. When Jimin locked eyes with Taehyung, he smiled at him from under his veil.
He was wearing the expensive hanbok that he had tried on earlier that day and liked very much. The floor-length skirt and jewelled crown made him look stunning. Taking Jungkook's arm as they walked to the tent, Yoongi walked beside his omega and let out a breath after leading him into the tent. “Have a seat. The Betas will be here soon, if you need anything just ask.”
“What do we do now?”
“You will watch the festivities. In the evening, we'll sit on the sofa in front of the tent. The pack members will come and present their gifts, and then there will be games around the fire. Taehyung will have a surprise, we won't.”
Jimin nodded quickly. He had heard the wedding information from Yuri many times before, but he still felt incomplete. Yes, it wasn't really their wedding, but deep down he wanted to be seen. At some weddings he had seen Omegas dancing around the fire and singing pleasant melodies. But no one had ever asked him to do that, and everyone assumed he did not want to.
Perhaps he should have asked for it. But he didn't know how to dance or sing anyway, he had no skills to impress anyone.
Yoongi left the Omega in the tent and walked away. Jimin looked around. Then he collapsed into one of the comfortable seats, folded his hands in his lap and waited for what would happen to him. Soon two betas entered, wearing small green hairpins on their heads and elegant ankle-length skirts. They placed the copper jugs in their hands on the table. They were obviously the ones who would be serving him today, Jimin felt bad. “Would you like some wedding syrup, Omega Jimin?”
“Yes?”
“Wedding syrup.” The shorter one said. “It's served to Omegas at weddings.”
“Okay, sure.” He said, thinking it was a tradition. When Beta served it to him in a glass goblet, a rare material made by fire, he smiled and thanked her. He lifted his veil and sniffed the red liquid, it had a fruity smell. “What's in it?”
“It's made of red berries and sugar, Omegas drink it to make the first night more comfortable.”
Jimin was about to swallow when he coughed. The betas stared in shock as the red liquid spilled from his lips, staining his white hanbok. Jimin's hands shook as he put the glass down. He tried to wipe the front of the glass, making an even bigger mess. Damn, now he was embarrassed.
Seeing the helpless look on his face, one of the betas said “It's okay, we'll take care of it now.” and took a wet cloth from the table and rubbed it on the hanbok, but it didn't make much difference. “Oh no…” Jimin lamented. “I've ruined it.”
“We can hide it with your veil. Please don't worry.”
“They will be angry with me.” He muttered, not thinking of himself. He had never been himself. Beta was surprised to hear that. “Who could be angry with you, you're a Min now.”
“W-well... They won't be angry, I mean... I mean... They'll be jokingly angry. Otherwise my Alpha wouldn't care.” He stopped talking, sinking as he spoke.
As Yuri entered the tent, she looked on as a witness to this moment, “Is everything all right?”
“The hanbok... The syrup spilled, Yuri-shi.”
Yuri took matters into her own hands, pulling the veil down further and hiding the stain with deft hands. “There you go.” She grabbed Jimin's chin as she noticed the fear in the Omega's eyes. “Don't look like that, what's wrong?”
“I'm so sorry…” He whispered, quietly enough for her to hear. “It's my fault.”
“It's your day, don't apologise for anything, it's just a stupid piece of cloth.” But it wasn't like that for him, Jimin had always been punished for his mistakes. Over and over again. But now he was on top, not a servant or an Omega without a pack. Now he had an Alpha. Who could be angry with him?
He just couldn't get used to it.
He remembered the last time he had been beaten in the pack, for not shining his master's shoes well enough. He had been kicked and beaten until his mouth was bleeding and he had lived with the pain in his stomach for days. Within a few days he had been thrown out of the pack. After that, things happened very quickly and one day he found himself in the arms of his soul mate. After all, Yoongi had saved his life in many ways.
When his nose stung, he felt like he was going to cry and blinked his eyes. “Thank you, Noona.”
“My dear...” Yuri hugged him gently. “How beautiful you are.”
Yuri ate some of the goodies on the table as the blushing Omega smiled from under the veil. “The sun will be setting in a few hours. Be patient.”
“I'm fine.”
“Yoongi has a chat with the guests too, it's part of the tradition... Well, of course there's Jungkook, he's so nervous and fussy that it's up to his hyung to calm him down.”
“Why is he so fussy?”
“He's been waiting for this day for years. We couldn't get him out of his room in the mansion and he thought something bad was going to happen so he hid under the blankets and Yoongi had to convince him.”
Jimin had no idea. So Yoongi was a good big brother and Jungkook was still an innocent, well-meaning and shy boy. He smiled as he listened. “I hope everything goes smoothly and Jungkook feels better... I guess he's not what he seems. Strong... Powerful and fearless.”
“In fact he is, but there is still a part of him that is a child, he has a very precious heart, and I'm not saying this because he's my brother, Jungkook is our precious.” She giggled. “I hope Taehyung will comfort him at the end of the night. If you ask me, they won't leave the house for days.”
Yuri didn't notice when Jimin blushed up to his neck in response to the naughty remark. She was looking at herself in the old mirror, fixing her braid that was braided like a crown. When she saw what was happening outside through the open partition, she said goodbye to Jimin and left the tent. Jimin let out a suffocating breath.
A few minutes later, Jimin refused the Betas' offer, he couldn't risk his hanbok a second time. Looking out of the tent with curious eyes, he saw Yuri under a willow with snow-covered branches. There were several people with the beautiful beta. One of them was a majestic Alpha who Jimin assumed was a warrior. The Alpha stood tall, keeping his eyes on Yuri and listening to what she was saying, nodding his head from time to time.
Unable to resist, he asked the Beta who was sitting on the cushion next to him. The young Beta smiled. “Oh him... He is Kim Namjoon. He is the unmatched leader of this pack.”
Leader? So this was the famous Namjoon Yuri couldn't stop talking about. He understood the Beta better now. The Alpha seemed to be interested in her, and he was very attractive even from a distance. He watched them, squinting, but soon felt uncomfortable, as if he had done something sneaky.
It was none of his business. If he interfered too much, Yuri would turn against him, and that would be the worst thing that could happen to him. He didn't have anyone anyway, and he couldn't lose them with his vain doubts and suspicions.
About an hour later it was getting darker and Jimin was getting bored of just sitting and watching the wedding. The wedding area was filling up by the minute as the guests sat on cushions under a large awning and enjoyed their treats. The children ran around in their best clothes, occasionally even daring to approach the tent.
When a cute girl in a blue dress came through the door, the Betas moved to chase her away, but Jimin said, “Stop.” “Would you like to come in?” He waved his hand, “Look, there are lots of delicious snacks here.”
“Are you a fairy?”
Jimin giggled, stunned by the question, and watched as she hesitantly approached him. “I don't know, am I?”
“I think you are.” Said the girl, as her tiny hand went to the bride's hummingbird brooch. “You look like the fairies in the stories we've been told.” She turned her big blue eyes to Jimin. He lifted his veil slightly and caressed her tiny hand in the palm of his hand. It was undoubtedly the purest and happiest moment he had experienced in hours. “I'm so glad to hear that.”
“Are you Uncle Yoongi's mate?”
Jimin couldn't help but smile at the expression. “Yes.”
She pulled her hand away and sulked, “I was going to marry him.” She muttered. “You stole him from me.”
Jimin was surprised by this and the betas moved to take her back. “Wait…” He stroked her cheek, “I wouldn't have gotten married if I'd known that… I'm afraid it's a bit late. But I'm sure you'll find someone like him when you're old enough to marry.” He leaned close to her ear. “Someone even better.”
‘Someone who will love you with all their heart.’
“Really?”
“Really.”
When the girl's mother found him, she apologised and held her daughter in her arms. Jimin waved goodbye to the little girl whose name he didn't even know and lost himself in thought for a long time.
Now it was time to go out. Jimin was surprised when Taehyung entered the tent while they were getting ready. “Taehyung…”
“Jimin…” They had spoken for the first time today, Jimin nodded. “Come here.”
“We're going out soon, I wanted to see you. Are you excited?” As he entered in all his glory, so did the betas holding the long tail of his hanbok. Taehyung looked radiant and dashing from head to toe. It was obvious from the intensity of his scent that he had been marked. Jimin wondered if he smelled like that. The scent of his Alpha hit his nose from time to time and made his heart ache, but it was only a faint scent.
“Yes, I'm excited.” He said in reply. “And you?”
The Omega put his hand to his heart and sighed. “No one is more excited than I am. Do you like my organisation? I've planned almost everything. The dancers from the Ming pack will be here soon, don't miss it.”
Not sure if it was because he was happy or not, Taehyung was very nice to him today. Jimin nodded and pressed his lips together without a trace of red. “I wouldn't miss it, everything is beautiful, thank you.”
“At first I didn't want my wedding to be divided, but now I'm glad it was, it's going great. And your presence is unnoticed, you haven't even left the tent.”
Jimin looked at his face and mumbled, “I was told not to leave.” No matter how happy he was, Taehyung was Taehyung, he had been a pain in the ass again. But Jimin couldn't see any such insight in his eyes. He didn't know if this was his natural state. Taehyung was indeed a strange Omega. “What am I supposed to do outside, people should be more curious about me.”
That didn't sound good to Taehyung, did the pack find him boring? Was that what he meant? “Hmm, so that's your impression.”
“Yes, that's what Yuri Noona told me, that it's better not to be too public.”
“She tricked you. Anyway, I'm going, I wanted to see you before you left. You don't need to hide the stain on your hanbok with your veil, it's obvious. Eh... Well, they say it's the evil eye.”
“It's just a stain.” Jimin put his hand on his chest where the stain was and fell silent while Taehyung laughed, “Are you impatient for the rest of the night?”
“Huh? What?”
“Oh Jimin... You're more naive than I thought.”
Jimin didn't want to deal with such questions anymore. But he hadn't even started, he was so embarrassed. How could he even think of sleeping with a soulmate who didn't love him? He recovered his composure and glanced at Taehyung, who had a look of amusement on his face. “In case you forgot Taehyung, I'm already a mated Omega.”
It was a hint. A hint that they had already made love and shared each other's most intimate moments. But it was just as far from reality. Nevertheless, Jimin couldn't resist. Taehyung was jealous inside, even if he didn't break down. He cleared his throat and changed the subject, he had one foot out the door, but he still couldn't leave. “Ah... Anyway. Look what I wanted to ask. You've never been in heat either, have you? That's how I know.”
“No, I haven't.” He said reluctantly, with the tip of his tongue. What was it to him?
“You're just good for each other. Yoongi hasn't been in a rut for a long time and now that he's got a mate, he'll come round.” He waved and walked away. “I'm going back to my wedding. See you later.”
It was just like him to drop the bomb and walk away.
He had learned a new piece of information about Yoongi from someone who wasn't him. As he swallowed, he closed his eyes, wanting to disappear as he met the confused looks of the Betas. In a few hours he would be in a brand new house. A house that belonged to him and his Alpha, a house that he could decorate and furnish as he wished. He tried to look forward to it, but all he could do was panic.
When the sun had completely set, the big fire was lit in the middle of the large area. The couples came out of their tents and went to the palace that had been prepared for them. Yoongi tried to smile as Jimin took his place next to Yoongi.
Everyone was watching them.
Jimin swallowed hard and tried to control himself but probably failed because Yoongi leaned close to his ear and said “You're so tense. Loosen up.”
“I'm trying.”
“We're almost there. You're doing well. There's a gift presentation coming up. We'll watch the dances and then it'll be over.”
That's what scared him. That it would be over. That they'd be alone.
“You are right.”
Chaerin arrived at that moment with two red furs in her hands. Yoongi explained to his Omega before he stood up. “At weddings, the Alphas place the heirloom furs on the shoulders of their Omegas.”
“Was that your father's hunt?”
“No, it belonged to one of my great-grandfathers. Min Chou.”
“I see…” He nodded, which was a relief on this cold night when he was starting to feel chilly. Jungkook gave his own mate a deerskin coat that his other grandfather had left him. He felt the weight of the fur on his own shoulders. It was warm, no doubt, and the people around him admired it. This coat must have been very famous, it belonged to a red deer or a bear.
“The winter solstice is coming soon.” Dohyun said with a laugh. “My two sons will prove themselves in the hunt on that day. We'll see who comes back with the better catch.”
Jimin listened to Dohyun in surprise, the so-called hunt was close, very close. He had heard that Yoongi was a good hunter, so he wondered. He wondered if Yoongi would give it to him. If so, he would hang it on the wall of their room like Chaerin.
“You can start eating.” Dohyun said, taking his two sons with him. He watched the crowd as they took their drinks from the betas. “May it be a happy marriage. May the great wolf make their union eternal, and may our bloodline be strong.”
The Alphas drank their soju amidst much applause and cheering. Jungkook made a grimace, while Yoongi, as if to show his resistance, put down the copper cup and left it on the table without making a single gesture. Then they gave his father a quick hug, as if to show that they had settled into their roles.
Whatever Yoongi felt at that moment must have been so intense that Jimin felt a sharp pain in his stomach. Grimacing, Jimin's eyes went to his Alpha. Even though the Alpha stood there with a completely blank face, something must have hurt inside.
This was a first. It was the first time he felt his soulmate. This stunned Jimin and made him ask questions he didn't know the answers to. Why now? Why when it hurt? Why did he and his father have an abusive relationship?
He listened to what Chaerin was saying behind him as she spoke to Yuri about his Alpha. “I didn't want the wedding today either, but when your father said it was the only way we could see that his feelings were over, I couldn't deny it.”
“'It's still not right.” Yuri said in a whisper. “Getting married on the anniversary of Hyuna's death made us the talk of the town. My father is making a mess of things.”
“It's too late. And Yoongi hasn't said anything about it.”
“That's because he has an Omega. He thinks of Jimin and doesn't want to hurt him.”
While they were talking, Jimin took a sip of soju from the glass he picked up with shaking hands. This glass was also on the table in the middle and belonged to Yoongi. But he didn't care at that moment. Yoongi's first love had died today? Who knew how his Alpha felt when he got married today... He couldn't bear this reality. Maybe Yoongi had felt so much at that time that he had no more feelings for him now. He was exhausted in other arms.
When the fire games and dances started, Jimin couldn't pay any attention to what was going on. He just sat there with his eyes glued to one spot. Yoongi ignored him as he chatted with the occasional visitor.
An hour before midnight, Yoongi had drunk his third soju and accepted a gift from the last guest. It was a ceramic vase with a golden flower engraved on the top. Thank you for your gift Seungki, “I will put it in the most beautiful corner of our house.”
“I hope your mate likes it too. I thought he might like flowers.”
Yoongi then turned to him and asked, “What do you think, dear?” And Jimin nodded and thanked him. “Thank you. It's very nice.”
I hope you'll be happy, Yoongi is one of the best Alphas I know. As a merchant, I've known thousands of Alphas... But I think he's special.” The old man smiled, “They say a fox hybrid is much more powerful than a wolf.”
“My fox is not very visible.” Yoongi was not happy about that. “You can only see it in my hair and my eyes. I'm as happy as a wolf.”
“Don't say that.” The man narrowed his eyes as if he knew something. “When you discover your power, everything will change.”
As the man leaned on his stick and walked away, Jimin forgot his sadness and asked, “What did he mean?”
“They call him a wizard, he lives alone in a hut he built on a distant mountain, they say he's gone mad. Don't listen to what he says.”
But it was too late. Yoongi was much more than he seemed and Jimin knew it in his soul.
*****
A wagon full of presents was left outside the newlyweds' house, and the house was heated by betas. By midnight, people were on their way home and the dancing was over. The two couples said goodbye and went home, while preparations were made for the banquets that would take place over the next two days.
It was over, they had come to the end.
Nothing would ever be the same again when they walked through that red wooden door. This scared Jimin like crazy. He was afraid that he wouldn't be able to get through it.
He didn't give up hope and didn't get out of the car until Yoongi opened the door. Their house was a big two-storey house. It was very quiet, with bright shutters, a red roof, a tiny veranda and a wooden exterior. Jimin could start a family here, make a lot of good memories.
When the snow began to fall lightly, the driver calmed the horse so that Jimin could easily get out of the carriage. “Do you want me to hold you?” Yoongi asked in a whisper as he helped him.
“Is that a tradition?”
“Yes, but…”
“All right then.”
In the back, Yuri and a few other relatives watched them enter the house. Jimin was so embarrassed, he was afraid they would come in too. But after a moment he wished they would come too. Yoongi hugged him before the Omega's hanbok dragged on the mud in front of the house. Jimin hugged his shoulder and stood there with his veil still closed. Yuri's proud eyes were the last face he saw before they went inside.
Yoongi gently set him down in the entrance hall as soon as they were inside, then calmly closed the door.
And there... They were all alone. They were in a place where they didn't have to pretend.
Their eyes met for a second, but Yoongi didn't dwell on it. The first thing he did was unbuckle the belt of his hanbok, breathing a sigh of relief. “It's finally over.”
“Yes…” Jimin said, not moving. “You can breathe a sigh of relief.” He said as the Alpha walked past him into the hall on the right.
“I can.” Yoongi replied. Jimin pulled hard on the veil that the Alpha should have removed because it blocked his view. “It's finally over.”
Yoongi thought it was because he was tired, he was very distracted. He looked like he wanted to sleep as soon as possible. His eyes darted back and forth. He said something to keep the silence from getting any longer. “How do you like the house? It's quite big, with a small room upstairs and an attic. It's well heated. I told them to light the fire before we arrived.”
“Good, I like it.” He said again in one word, as if he would choke if he dragged it out.
“You haven't even looked at it.”
“I'll look at it later, but everything looks great anyway, you've done a good job.” He could have at least escorted him to his room and helped him take off his veil, but even that was too much for him.
“All right. I'll... I'll go change.” When there was no sound from Omega, Yoongi looked at him with a confused expression. “Why are you just standing there?”
“I don't know what to do.”
“You must be tired. Would you like to take a shower? They must have heated the water.”
“No.” He said at once. “I don't want to.”
“Okay.” He hesitated too, he didn't know what to say. He needed to be alone as soon as possible, to get rid of the weight of the whole day, he had a lot of weight on his back. “Are you hungry? Can I fix you something?”
“No, no. I ate a lot.”
Yoongi shook his head, took off the black sash of his hanbok and held it in his hand. “This place is yours now. The basics are taken care of, as you can see. You can furnish the rest as you like, and if I don't like it, we can change it. Just say the word. I won't interfere. I won't be spending much time in the house anyway.”
He would condemn him to this solitude. He swallowed as the walls came crashing down on him. “I... I like it, no need to change it.”
“Tomorrow you can examine everything with a cool head. Anyway, I'm going to get some rest. The door behind you is your room. I mean our room, they have prepared it for us. And you... go to sleep," he left his side and walked to the brown door opposite. You can do what you like with the whole house, but I'll make the decisions about my room.” He pointed at the door. “This is my workspace and I don't want you to come in without my permission. And of course I won't go into your room without permission, I won't cross the boundaries between us. I just wanted to say that I think you are someone who will respect my boundaries. See you tomorrow. Good night, Jimin.”
Yoongi opened the brown door he had just been forbidden to enter. He walked in and left Jimin standing there.
From the very first moment, doors started to close in his face and Jimin didn't have a key to any of them. Was it up to him to live in this great loneliness?
He stood there for a few moments, weighed down by these words. Then he entered the room behind him. A double bed, a small fireplace, a wardrobe, a bedside table, a small green armchair on the window sill, and another door that led to a bathroom. That was it, empty and plain. And cold at the same time.
His lips trembled as he saw the dowry of nightgowns on the bed. This room had been prepared for real couples. He couldn't stand his loneliness.
Yoongi had left him in his hanbok and retired to his room. And what did he think would happen? That the clouds would suddenly part and Yoongi would see the truth and fall to his knees? That he would go to bed with him just because they were married? It was pure naivety, he couldn't blame the Alpha. They would not be a couple just because they were married, unfortunately. He was the one who agreed to the deal. He was the one who was afraid of revealing secrets.
Yoongi did what Yoongi told him to do in the beginning. Jimin was the only one with expectations who broke the rules. The only one who knew the secret.
And still it hurt, like hell.
This game would destroy him.
He threw his pyjamas on the floor with the back of his hand. He tried to take off his hanbok, but his hands were shaking and he couldn't. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he cried, trying not to make a sound, trying not to disturb his Alpha. He threw himself onto the thick blankets and pulled his knees up to them like a baby. He let the tears flow onto the clean sheets.
He cried and cried until he was exhausted and fell asleep.
*****
(Yoongi)
He couldn't believe he'd survived today. After he had leaned his back against the door and was breathing as if he had been running for hours, he fixed his eyes on one spot and all the thoughts he had been holding on to piled up in his head.
His father had done it again. He had indeed chosen this particular day for the wedding. His sister had been looking into his eyes all day long, trying to see if he was going to do something wrong. He felt like a test subject, like a circus monkey being watched.
He knew what his father was planning. He always knew. He was testing him, showing him he was a bad Alpha, a bad husband and a bad son who couldn't back up his words. When they had chosen the wedding date, which was the anniversary of the death of Yoongi's late fiancée Hyuna, all eyes had been on him. Even today, people looked at him with pity and some dared to feel sorry for Jimin and complain.
‘Hyuna's curse will also find Jimin.’
‘It's no coincidence that he got married today, poor Alpha, he obviously couldn't handle it.’
How was it obvious? Every time he wanted to grab them by the collar and shake them and ask them questions, he dug his nails into his palms. Now all he got were bloody scratches on his palms. He knew they were trying his patience, so he didn't give them the pleasure. Yes, there were many who loved Yoongi, but there were also many who didn't like him. Especially all the people Yuna and Hyuna knew and loved who had turned against him and his family.
They were right, he was like a curse, poisoning everything he touched. He had taken Hyuna's life, he was about to take Yuna's too, he had abandoned her. He thought if he left her alone, if he never touched her, she wouldn't be harmed.
And Jimin? What about the damage he had caused?
Only time would tell. Yoongi had done everything he could to keep him from getting hurt. Maybe he'd screwed up. He didn't know, he couldn't talk about it, he was speechless. The pale face he saw, the sincere look... It made him feel bad. It was as if he had grabbed hold of this Omega and was using him to take advantage of his desperation. That's why he would give him space and time. He thought it would be better if they were like strangers.
That was their agreement. They would save each other.
It was something that weighed heavily on his chest day after day. And now they would be bound by this bond until death. Everything else had to be forgotten. He was married now, a married Alpha no matter what. And that meant his quest was over.
His eyes began to burn, as if he was about to cry for the first time in a long while. The emotions he had been holding in all morning were pouring out. His chest tightened and he found it hard to breathe. He walked over and took the wooden box from the locked drawer. He put it on the table, sat down in the chair and opened it.
He took a long look at his soul mate's ring, a unique work of art that he had started to make by hand years ago, the day his search began. His anger at himself overcame all his emotions.
Chapter 14: Ring
Notes:
Hello again, sorry to bother you a second time 😔. I accidentally skipped a chapter while uploading the new episode. (Thanks to the reader who warned me 🙏.) Can we consider that chapter unseen?
Enjoy reading the new chapter 💜
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
13- " I had no place in your sky. My wings broke off on your dry branches."*
I was running through a dark forest full of poplar trees blocking the sky. My breath was catching in my throat and my knees were shaking as if I couldn't go any further. I didn't even know what I was running from, I was just running, running, running. There was a darkness, an evil that I feared would devour me, and I felt its every breath on my neck. My footsteps faltered and I kept on running, past the bushes that scratched my skin. The sound of its breath echoed in my ears and the tears that flowed from my eyes froze on my cheek.
Then I collapsed. Suddenly the whole world went black, all the sounds around me stopped. Time stood still. The sound of footsteps no longer echoed in my ears. That evil thing had stopped following me. So I concentrated on the pain in my knee, I had hurt it badly when I fell. I had fallen into a hole, it was dark all around me, I couldn't find my way out. I kept shaking and crying, maybe for hours. Maybe for days. I had never felt so alone. Everything I touched crumbled to dust. As it did, I left myself to rot at the bottom of the pit I had fallen into.
Then a thick, old rope was dangling down from the opening above to where I was. I couldn't even find the strength to grab it and pull myself up. My hands were shaking and I felt like I was going to faint.
Someone had thought I was worth saving. But I couldn't hold on to the rope, so the person who had dangled the rope appeared as a figure and pulled himself down with the rope. I recognised the owner of the yellow eyes that shone even in that dark night. It was my father. My only hero. But I didn't know how he had got here, how he had found me.
When I saw him I began to cry again. “How did you find me?” I sobbed. He should have been dead, I had lost him long ago.
“You had to be found.” He said with a look of sad comfort on his face. “I'm here to help you, Mi.”
Mi... That's what he used to call me. When I was a little kid and got into all sorts of mischief. I once got a bloody knee like this. I got caught trying to treat it myself because I was afraid my father would scold me. “Sometimes we need the help of others to heal our wounds. There's nothing wrong with that Mi.” He said at the time.
But I was never able to put his teachings into practice. After they left, there was no one to heal my wounds but me. I thought there would be someone. I waited for years to find the medicine for my wounds, I travelled the world to find it. But it was worth nothing.
I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand. I looked at him with eyes full of expectation as I felt his touch as light as a butterfly on my cheek. “Why did you leave me so soon? Can't you see... I can't handle it. I'm alone.”
“You know you're not alone.”
“I just am.” I couldn't remember what I was so upset about, why I was running through the woods in tears, but the pain was there, deep inside me. In my heart. “No one loves me like you. Not even my soul mate.”
“You have to stand up.” Jimin. When he stepped back and frowned at me, I wanted to stand at attention. My biggest fear was that he would get the slightest bit angry with me and disappoint him. “You have to get up and try again. You can't give up so easily.” The bloody wound on my knee where he had touched me had healed and there was nothing left. “To get healing touches like that... You have to try again. You're almost there, Mi. Keep running. Keep running, don't give in to the darkness...”
*****
When I woke up, my cheeks were wet with tears and there was a strange pounding in my heart. I opened my eyes to another snowy day, and the first thing I did was to sit up in this strange room, in this cold bed. I unzipped the inner trousers of my hanbok and looked at my knee. Without thinking about who I was, what I was doing in this strange house, I concentrated on the pain. I was sure that my knee was throbbing with pain right now. It had bled, it had bled a lot, a lot. But now there was no trace of it.
“Dad..” I said as my lip curled down and shook.
It all came back to me. I remembered what I was doing here, alone in this big bed, wearing a hanbok, unable to even share a bed with him. How he'd locked himself in his room after the wedding, leaving me all alone in this strange house.
‘Keep running…’
‘How long will I run in these woods, Dad?’ I couldn't ask the most important question. ‘It wasn't fair for you to disappear.’ After wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked at myself. I was a pathetic wretch, I looked miserable. I was very, very angry. At whom, at what? At God, who couldn't bring us together? Or Yoongi? He wasn't there. He just wasn't there, too close for me to reach, too far for me to hold. I wish this moment was the dream. I'd rather be running away from an unknown person in the forest for centuries. I had fallen asleep alone in a strange bed in my wedding hanbok, uncovered. The fire had gone out after a while and the room was filled with icy air.
I had to keep my promise to my father, I had to keep running.
I got out of bed with the words stuck in my throat. The first thing I did was to open the chest where the wood was kept, take two large pieces of wood and light the fire. I was shivering with cold. When the fire began to warm the large room, I put my hands to the fire to warm them a little. Meanwhile, I took the opportunity to examine the room I was in.
In the right corner, by the window, was an armchair with a pale green cover and colourful cushions. There was a woven carpet on the floor and plain brown wooden walls. Everything was ordinary. It would have been more than enough for a couple. But we weren't a couple, and I didn't think we ever would be.
That's what I thought as I cried myself to sleep at night. To give up. But I hadn't had that dream for nothing. Dreams had a meaning. Seeing my father, who I hadn't seen for a long time, should have been a big sign. Or maybe I didn't have the will to give up, I don't know.
All I know is that I couldn't leave him and I couldn't blame him.
What did I expect? That he would make love to me, pull me to his chest with loving kisses? I owed him a secret, the secrets I kept from him were too much for him. But as every step I took took me backwards instead of forwards, I couldn't bring myself to say it. I was alone in this war. I couldn't ask anyone for advice, everyone would turn their backs on me.
They would.
I had to risk it.
Maybe I'd lose him before I could get enough of him. Maybe that is our fate. We'll die without ever having been complete soul mates. They will throw stones at me in the square for telling such a lie. No one will come to my aid, and maybe even Yuri will throw a stone too.
As my lips trembled, I stood up from where I had crouched, my hands a little warm and the lush flames beginning to heat the room. I looked at myself in the mirror. I was a mess. Yesterday's make-up was smeared all over my face, and tears were streaming down my cheeks.
I wanted to run out the door and into the woods, naively believing my father would be waiting for me. Maybe I was still a child, I couldn't grow up. I didn't even know if Yoongi was home, it was nine in the morning and he always got up early. Maybe he was the one who escaped before me.
Today was our first day. Even in this state, we were as close as strangers.
I had to wash and tidy up. First I took off the hummingbird brooch I had pinned to my shirt. With trembling hands I left it on the bedside table. Then I got rid of the outer shirt with the flower I'd embroidered in excitement, even if it was crooked. I threw it into the fire without a second thought, so I wouldn't have to look at it again.
The end of every hope was disappointment, the end of every excitement was a great emptiness and loneliness. I burst into tears again as I looked at the shirt, curled and crumpled in the fire. It was like me, it was about to disappear. I didn't stop crying in silence, but as I tore out my heart, I took off the remaining pieces of the hanbok and threw them into the fire. The fire grew stronger and stronger as it swallowed up the memories. It was like an evil hungry for pain.
Whatever feelings I had for Yoongi had made me vulnerable to life. After everything that had happened to me, I was devastated and naked with only one person ignoring me.
It wouldn't have hurt so much if the whole world had turned its back on me.
I had gone to him in pieces, naively hoping that he could make me whole again. Trusting him, leaning on him. But he too was a broken soul who didn't see me, didn't recognise me and never embraced me. Still mourning the past.
What could I do?
“Damn it!” I hissed angrily. I couldn't take off my inner shirt, I was left in the middle of the room in my satin undergarments. In order to untie the string on his back, my partner would have to open it - it was specially designed for this purpose, of course, because married couples make love on the first night of their marriage. They didn't go to separate rooms. Even couples who hated each other didn't do that. And us? We can't even hate each other.
I sighed shakily, my hands ceasing to fight and falling to my sides. I reluctantly decided that the only way to get him off me was to cut the rope. That meant leaving the room. At my weakest point. I approached the door, put my ear to it and waited until I heard a sound. It was silent. Yoongi must have left.
He wouldn't wait for me.
I took a deep breath and wrapped my arms around myself. I walked out of the room and into the large living room. The living room was combined with the kitchen, there was a counter by the window and a table in front of the other window. It was very ordinary, very simple. As Yoongi had said, it needed an Omega touch.
At least he gave me something to play with. To live without thinking about him, about us, about not being. What a kind heart he had.
When I stood in front of the light-coloured cupboards, I started to look for drawers with copper-coloured handles, knives, scissors, any kind of cutting tool would do. Then I noticed it was warm inside. I took a sharp knife from the second drawer and turned my head to see the big fireplace in the living room lit up.
“Jimin?”
Yoongi was startled and took a step back as I quickly turned around, his eyes wide. His reaction was to the large knife in my hand, not to seeing me. I was almost relieved that he wasn't running away from me.
“What are you doing?'” He asked, looking at me and the knife.
“I'm...”
He reached out and grabbed the dark handle of the knife, “Put it down.”
I insisted, “Why? Are you afraid I'll stab you? Or am I not allowed to touch things?”
Yoongi was still confused. He was right, I looked like a ghost and I was holding a knife in my hand, the words coming out of my mouth were not very rational. “Give it to me. You don't look well, what's wrong? Why are you dressed like that?”
I wanted to stick the knife right in the middle of his chest. I wanted to reach his bleeding heart and hurt him as much as it hurt me. Only then would our situation be equal.
As if he had sensed my desire, he pulled the knife out of my hand with ease and threw it into the drawer.
“I couldn't get it out…” I said, giving up the fight, my voice weak, leaning my back against the counter.
“You couldn't get what out?”
“'I wanted to cut off this stupid hanbok undershirt with a knife because I couldn't reach the string in the back.” I replied. I was too scared to cry again. I was angry at everything about being caught like that. He would think I was completely crazy.
“You should have told me.”
“I thought you weren't home.” ‘Can't he think of anything?’
Yoongi didn't move, I stayed where I was and he stayed where he was. He looked at me with a slight guilt in his eyes. I almost enjoyed it, I shouldn't be the only one who felt bad. “You know…” He said. “Today is the first day of our marriage.”
“Thanks for reminding me.” I crossed my arms over my chest and walked past him. I couldn't stand the sight of him, he'd better go. “Aren't you going to work?”
“I can't go.” He said, as if it were obvious. He was still following me. “It's not proper for couples to go out on their first day of marriage, so I'm staying home. Didn't they tell you?”
“Ah…” I said, pausing. Why would anyone have to say that? If we were real couples, running away from home wouldn't be on our minds anyway. “I didn't know.”
“'I'm sorry, I thought you did.” He said seriously. “I won't leave my room and I won't be seen.” He said as I watched the fire in front of the fireplace. “You make yourself comfortable.”
“Me?” I asked, surprised. It should have been me, but I think what came out of my mouth sounded wrong. I couldn't think. “I guess it sounded like I kicked you out of your house, I'm sorry. I'm not leaving my room, this is your house.”
“This is our house.”
“Just because we're married doesn't mean everything belongs to you also belong to me. It's just a game.” If it wasn't, everything would be mine, including Yoongi.
My behaviour left him speechless. He shook his head after parting and closed his lips, I had nothing more to say to him. “Do you want me to help you? To undress you…” He asked and my cheeks flushed. “No need. I'll do it with a knife.”
“Please let me, or you might hurt yourself.”
“And I'll get you into trouble.”
“You'd only hurt yourself.”
How right he was. There was no way I could hurt him.
“Don't be stubborn.”
How could I resist him? When he looked at me like that and didn't know anything. Again I bottled up my anger, my hurt and my desire to rub his wrongs in his face.
I let my hands fall to my sides and looked gently over my shoulder at him, nodding my head gently. In two long strides, the Alpha was standing right behind me and began to untie the satin threads that ran down my neck to my back. I couldn't help but feel a slight flutter in the pit of my stomach. I was trying so hard to control my emotions. God knew if I hadn't, I would have lost myself to him, my soulmate, even though he didn't know me. Because my wolf and I both needed it.
I wonder if there was another couple in the world other than us who untied the strings of the hanbok only because they were struggling to get it off, not in a bedroom, not in a bed, but in the middle of a living room. No matter how we looked at it, we were unique.
I start telling myself lies, it's the best I can do to console myself.
Alpha's cold fingers tried hard not to touch my skin. But contact was inevitable. I felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck when his finger touch me. I swallowed and said weakly, “Okay…” Before his hands could go any lower. “That's enough. I'll do the rest.”
“Are you sure?”
‘Are you sure you want to see my flowers?’ “Yes, thank you.” I left him, trying not to show my flowers under the thin dress, and walked into the room. He called after me. “I'm making breakfast, do you want anything?”
Shouldn't I have done that?
“No.” I said hesitantly before closing the door. Then, after I was completely naked and had thrown the rest of my clothes into the fire, thinking I couldn't bear the sight of them, I opened the big wardrobe and looked for something to put on, my stomach was independent of me, hungry and growling.
After a few minutes, everything burned to ashes. Everything about the day of my best memories made me feel bad, and I think the only thing I could do was to destroy them. Because that was the only thing I could control, there was nothing else I could control. But as soon as I did, I felt even worse. Nevertheless, what had happened had happened. I had upset no one but myself.
I opened the wardrobe. There were similarly coloured tunics hanging on hangers, and thick woollen jumpers on the bottom shelf. My hand slipped to an emerald-green inner tunic, which I thought I should wear because Chaerin-shi was very strict about what a married, upper-class Omega should wear, and my wardrobe was organised according to her wishes and desires. The colourful clothes Yuri and I had bought were tucked away in another corner. I grabbed the cotton tunic with the drawstring front that I could get my hands on. I laid the two of them on the bed, along with a pair of winter trousers. Although it was warm inside, I felt a shiver run down my skin and found myself gently rolling up the hem of my undershirt.
How long was I going to avoid looking at my flowers? They didn't disappear just because they were somewhere I couldn't see them directly. They had no one but me.
I took a shaky breath full of fear and anxiety. I moved to the full-length mirror on the right and looked over my shoulder at my reflection, at the flowers at my waist. The flowers that had lost their leaves. Even on my wedding day, I had turned away from examining them. I had thrown away the flowers I had once talked about and tended to every day. I had behaved the way Yoongi had treated me. It wasn't fair for me to take it out on my little blue flowers for what we weren't. With tears in my eyes, I swallowed, “I'm sorry…” I whispered, “I'm sorry, my flowers.”
They were so pale. They were like desert flowers that could bloom even in that dry soil, needing a sip of water, needing attention. So the truth hit me like a slap in the face. They were fighting with me. To be seen. To be recognised. I touched my waist with my fingertips and stroked them. “What should I do to make you look as alive as before?”
If I told Yoongi my secret, would things get better? Or if I went to the Seer and asked for something. Something told me it wouldn't work. The sob that was caught in my throat fell from my lips. Even though seeing them like this made me break down, I was stunned by Yoongi's scent filling my nose, and I got dressed before he saw me like this. After washing my face and removing the remains of my make-up, I was myself again. I got out of the bathroom and tried to tidy up my wet hair. I found him in the kitchen preparing the first breakfast of our marriage.
What if he kissed my flowers?
I pushed these thoughts out of my head as I walked with hesitant, lazy steps towards the table. Yoongi placed the porcelain plate of olives on the table and poured boiled green tea into cups. “Green tea…” He said. “You drink it, don't you? I hear it's good for omegas. Mum drinks it a lot.”
“Sure.” I said blankly, rubbing my still wet hands on the seat of my trousers. “I'll have a drink, thanks. Can I help you?”
“Have a seat. I've already done that. It's your first day, you'll be doing all the work when I'm not home.”
I looked at the counter from the corner of my eye. It was as clean as it was fast, like a meticulous criminal working without leaving a trace. There was no sign of any dishes. I didn't know anything about cooking or making anything tasty. I'd tried it at the hunting lodge and had made a mess of it. Now I was afraid to try anything. Anything.
If not today, then tomorrow, if not tomorrow, then next week, Yoongi would surely have demands on me. The more realistic the game we played, the better, he would think. I would be expected to behave like a married Omega, and I was in a hurry to live that way unnoticed. But I had bigger worries in life. Like how to tell him my secrets.
I grimaced when I thought about it. Yoongi was the one who noticed it just as I popped the crispy bread with butter and honey into my mouth. “What happened?”
I quickly recovered and made up a lie, “Nothing, nothing... My tooth hurts.”
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“No.” I made up. “Sometimes I think it's a cavity.”
“You should see a healer.”
“I will.” False talk that sounded like a total commitment. I'm crushed. I wish he could make things easier for me. If he wouldn't recognise me, I wish he'd stick the knife in my chest.
I hated that he had dumped everything on me. I hated myself for not being able to hate him, to look at his red-brown hair, to swim in the oceans where those beautiful yellow-red eyes went, to watch the shape of his face when he ate.
At first I thought I could handle anything, how naive I was. When I found out that he didn't recognise me, I just accepted it. I thought , ‘Okay, I can deal with it, I can get over it. It's not even the worst thing I've ever been through.’
But it was, it couldn't be compared to anything. It wasn't happening in my outer world, it was a vicious attack on my inner world. How could I live without worrying when he was killing me from the inside?
I tried to look into his eyes for a while. But he continued to eat, quietly and solemnly, without looking at me.
So I turned quietly and felt bite after bite of food forming in my throat. Five minutes passed. The only sound in the house was the crackling of the fire behind us. It was a beautiful house, of course, but it was beyond my dreams. Whatever I dreamed of, I could have it here, but now I couldn't see anything. Not those beautiful shutters, not the blank walls waiting for me to decorate. Well, I didn't really understand. I knew what was on the walls, on the tables, in the bedrooms of the nobility. I could have all the things I wasn't allowed to touch.
Except Yoongi. So much so that even his soul mate couldn't touch him.
I must have put the fork down on the plate a little too hard, because I caught the Alpha's attention. When he just looked at me and turned his head away, I let out a breath and let my eyes wander over the porcelain breakfast sets, which looked brand new. Of course, they had exquisite hand-drawn swan patterns on them, so they must have been very expensive.
“You can change them if you like. My mother bought them. It was a long time ago.”
“Hm?” I turned to him, looking at his face absently. “What?”
“The plates. All this crockery. I don't think you like it.”
“No... No, it's beautiful.” Why was he so attentive today? Had he suddenly decided to be interested? I fidgeted nervously and told him the truth. “Is it possible that I don't like it? It's the first time in my life I've had all this stuff.”
“That doesn't stop you from having your own taste.”
“Believe me, it does…” I replied. “When your only goal is to live to see another day, you don't have time to think about the pot you're eating out of.”
He shook his head as if what he said was out of place. “Maybe you're right. I haven't lived the life you've lived.”
You never will.
When there was no sound from me, he cleared his throat and leaned back. He wiped the corner of his lip with his napkin, as if to show that he came from a rich, noble family, fond of table manners. “Did you rest well? We didn't talk much last night, we were both exhausted. How was the wedding, was there anything you didn't like?”
“Wedding...” I sighed. My heart ached just thinking about it. “No, it was fine.”
“I'm glad.”
“I wonder what Jungkook and Taehyung are doing... They love each other so much, I saw them looking at each other in love yesterday.”
“Yes…” Yoongi said after making a surprised face and looking away. “They've been in love for a long time, they're finally reunited. They must be enjoying it now.”
“We never seem to know what that feels like.”
An icy silence fell over the house. Two people, two half souls, two people who didn't get their share of love and affection. Is this what we can be? I stared into his eyes for a long time. If I said everything now, would his blank look change? Just to make him look different. Anger, hatred, revenge... Pain... I would even prefer that... To his blank stare.
“I'm full, enjoy your meal.” When he shook off his clothes and got up from the table, I approached him and said, “Have I bored you?” I continued, just as my father had said.
He gave me a sideways glance. “No, I just don't like conversations that lead nowhere. It would be ridiculous to compare us to a couple like them, who have known and loved each other for a long time. This is who we are, this is who we will always be.”
“This…” I said.
“You fill in the rest. Call it two strangers if you want. Call it two mature people in a committed relationship if you want, or just two lost souls looking for a refuge.”
It was unfair. How could he be so insensitive? I wished I was in his place.
I shook my head gently and turned around. There was nothing more to say and he shoved the words into my mouth with a crushing look and superiority. “I'm sorry. It just came out, I won't say things like that again.”
“Whatever. I'll be in my room. If you need anything, just knock on the door.”
I said nothing and watched as he floated into his room. I couldn't help but wonder what was in that room. It was as secret as his heart. The number of things I couldn't get through the door was growing every day. There was not even hope.
This is who we are and always will be.
‘How can I go on, Dad?’ I whispered as I looked out the window. The snow was falling in flakes. Being inside the house I dreamed of, I realised I missed being outside. It was warmer outside.
I spent the whole day in the reality in which he imprisoned me. I wasn't even allowed to go out the door. Who knows, maybe someone whispered and laughed as they passed our house. They wondered what the newlyweds were up to inside. They thought we were a couple like Taehyung and Jungkook, but they were wrong. I even closed the curtains in the afternoon and shut myself away in the dark to avoid their stares.
I spent the first few hours exploring the house. Yoongi hadn't given me any money for the house yet, but it didn't matter if he didn't. I could live like this. There were unused things in the attic. Dusty shelves were full of books that had been read. This place was full of memories of those who had come from the old house.
At the end of three hours, I found myself lying on the cushions in the living room. I was staring at the hanging ceiling. The silence was deafening. It never ended.
As evening approached, I became hungry for movement. I listened to the sounds coming from behind the closed door and theorised about what he was doing inside. I dreamt many beautiful dreams. I believed in dreams that would never come true. With every passing second, I couldn't move as the longing and hope of years weighed heavily on me.
I was never supposed to say this, but I missed the mansion. I missed Chaerin, who would yell at me and get angry and humiliate me all the time, and Dohyun-shi, who never embraced me. At least there was something going on. Here, this place promised nothing. I went back to my room for the first time since the morning. I noticed something I hadn't noticed in the morning. A small wooden box. I sat down on the bed and opened it. I saw the blue flower earrings that I had looked at in the jewellery shop days ago, but had not bought.
Every Omega had to wear jewellery as a symbol of their marriage, some with a simple copper ring, others with big stones like Taehyung. I wanted to do it with these earrings. Then I thought it wasn't necessary and left. Was it Yoongi who bought them? Who else would buy them? Suddenly I felt warm inside and then I was angry at myself for still having the face to feel it.
I was tired of him taking one step forward and ten steps back. I was tired of this game he was playing, tired of our war, and we were just getting started.
With a shuddering sigh, I looked at myself in the inlaid hand mirror. I had barely got the earrings into my ears. They were beautiful, literally beautiful and elegant. I had liked them that day too. Why had Yoongi done that, why had he bought them? I shouldn't have thought about it, and neither should he.
After putting on my earrings, I untied my hair, which I had braided yesterday. The waves that fell on my shoulders were neat and soft, I had never seen them like this before. Coming out of my room an hour later, I found Yoongi in the kitchen and stopped. I had cleared the table and put the dishes on the counter to be washed in the evening. But the Alpha was faster than me. Feeling like a parasite, I ran quickly into the kitchen. “Yoongi, what are you doing, please stop.”
He turned to me with a steaming glass in his hand. He had poured the water he had heated on the fireplace cage into a large bowl and steam was coming out of it. “What am I doing?”
When he insisted, I approached him, took the glass from his hand and began to explain, “I'll do it, I left the dishes waiting for dinner... But I think I made a mistake. I didn't leave them waiting for you to wash them, I mean...”
“Don't explain, I didn't think so, it's just a habit. I spend most of the year alone in the hunting cabin, so it's unusual for someone to come and do my chores. I didn't mean to make you feel bad.” He said as I gave him a stubborn shove on the shoulder. He slid aside and I took his place and began to scrub the glass with a sponge made of pumpkin fibre.
And I could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't talking about the dishes.
I swallowed and searched for something to say. “It's just a dish. I have nothing to do in this house, especially today. So let me do the work I should do and get used to this life. You grew up with servants...”
“I'm not talking about that.” He explained himself. I didn't want him to explain, every word was an arrow that hurt me. “In general. For yesterday and the day before yesterday, for all days... We both have a different understanding of this game.”
What did he mean by that? What was he hinting at? I coughed as the spit caught in my throat. I put the steaming glass down, the situation was serious. Apparently, in his eyes, I was someone I wasn't. “It's okay..” I understood as much as I needed to.
“You look unhappy, whereas you were happier when I found you dying in the forest. I wonder if our arrangement is becoming too much for you, we've never discussed it, but I think it's time.”
“It's only my first day, I haven't adjusted to all these changes, that's why. I'm not unhappy, it doesn't seem difficult. What's difficult about it? Your presence and absence are the same.”
I didn't expect Yoongi to be so honest all of a sudden, so I ran for cover. Why did he do that? Did I look so miserable? It was natural that he couldn't understand it from his side. “Are you sure?” He asked, as if he didn't feel well.
“I'm just tired. You were angry with me for being too naive, too naïve and optimistic. Now, thanks to you, I'm beginning to see the truth.”
“What truths?”
I gave him a meaningful look. “That sometimes you have to give up the fight.”
“So it's not about me?”
I sighed. “Of course not, you're just my game partner… What could be wrong with you?”
“Then it was a misunderstanding, I'm glad we cleared it up.” He paused, his gaze lingering on my face for a few seconds. “You found the earrings.”
“They were on the bedside table, so I decided to wear them. I suppose it's customary for Omegas to wear jewellery that identifies them as married. Thank you. You've bought me so much already. I can't give you anything in return.”
After thinking for a while, he said, 'You embroidered flowers on my hanbok.” If you only knew, Yoongi, if you only knew.
I couldn't help but look at his face in pain, and then I smiled weakly. ‘A flower… An ordinary flower.’
“Yes.”
“It was pretty.”
“Honestly, it was crooked... I was able to do it because of your sister.”
“Let's just say it was pretty and crooked, then.”
“Something can't be beautiful and ugly at the same time.”
“It can be.”
I shrugged, I wasn't going to argue with him. “Use them on good days.” He said, changing the subject. “Your earrings.”
“Thank you.” When I finished washing the glasses, Yoongi dried them with a towel. He seemed determined not to leave my side and annoy me. As long as he stayed by my side, my wolf and my sails would go down in no time. “Tomorrow I will give you some gold. For a few days, traders from the north will set up a large market a few miles from the pack. Everyone flocks there, so go. The house is yours to furnish and decorate. Go shopping with my sister... I told them not to touch your room. It's your taste, that's why it's so empty.”
“Will I always sleep there alone?” I whispered absent-mindedly. I didn't understand most of what he said. He said market, I had seen the best of them thanks to my journey. My mind was elsewhere, very elsewhere. “Aren't we going to share a bed?”
Silence… “I…” He said hesitantly, averting his eyes. As if I were asking for his life. “Are you afraid to sleep alone?”
I had to collect myself. “No. Our scents... Our scents would fade if we were apart.”
“Oh...” He said, breathing a sigh of relief. “We'll work it out.”
“I don't want to be marked every day.” I explained. To be honest, sleeping next to him would hurt less than being marked. “That's why.”
Yoongi was just as stunned. “We won't be marked every day. Our scent will linger long after any possible heat... If you want...”
“What would I want?”
“To spend your heat with me.”
“And you?” My cheeks flamed. I was grateful to be doing something else and handed him the glasses. It was funny we were talking about this here, but we were. “Do you want to?”
“I haven't been in a heat for so long.” Yoongi interrupted after a moment of silence. “And when I do, my wishes won't matter, my wolf seems to have passed the limit of my control.” He added, probably in reference to his killing of Lucas. He couldn't control that either. His wolf was linked to my Omega. What a pity.
As I remembered that terrible night, the blood drained from my veins and I froze. The conversation seemed to be over for both of us. Yoongi dried his hands with a blue kitchen towel. Then he opened the cupboard to his right and took out some ingredients for our dinner. My mind and tongue wouldn't leave me alone, and as he started to chop the spring onions skilfully, I said, “Are we always going to avoid talking about important things? You always seem to be avoiding something, Yoongi” I muttered.
“Not at all. It just wasn't the right time, I shouldn't have brought it up.”
“I brought it up, I could have slept alone in the room, it was fine. I just asked... I thought it was okay to ask.” I shrugged my shoulders, I was so incompetent and lonely. I was like a bird that always flew in the wrong places, it was only a matter of time before I was hunted. “I don't want to force you”.
“Of course you can ask, I didn't make it a problem.” He grunted, his eyes still on the chopped onions. “I just thought it would be better if we talked about these things in peace. Can you go and put some wood in the fireplace, I'm going to cook, I'm hungry.”
That's how he got rid of me, he treated me like a problem to be solved. That's all I was to him.
“Okay…” I said bitterly, looking at him who didn't see me.
“The wood is in the woodshed on the right.”
This was his house and his rules applied here, I had no place on his land. I left him with a burning nose, trying very hard to control my odour, and started to light the fireplace. I think he knew, I think he understood. That the best I could do was burn things.
I didn't offer to help Yoongi prepare dinner and I didn't leave my room until he called me. I just crawled under the covers and tried not to cry. It seemed like seconds didn't even pass in that house. It had never been so hard to carry on. I closed my eyes to see my family, but this time I wasn't so lucky.
When I woke up, it was dark and the house was silent. When I put on my slippers and came out of my room, I couldn't find anyone. The yellow light coming from under the door meant that Alpha was locked in his room. There was only one plate on the table. It contained some cold vegetable ramen. Just to fill my stomach, I sat down on the chair and swallowed the food, not caring that it was cold. Besides, I couldn't taste it. I fixed my eyes on one spot and tried to stop myself from crying.
Maybe there was no way for me to enter Yoongi's heart. There was no room for even a little hope.
If only I could change the prophecy, if only someone could wave a magic wand and make everything right. If only we could wake up in a world where we could be true soul mates. I didn't want money or fancy houses.
And so the first day ended. It was far from being the first day of a newly married couple. We were far, far away from reality, from a happy future. I was angry with him, angry with myself, overwhelmed with guilt, and I threw myself back on the cold bed.
*****
The next day we had an unexpected visitor. Yoongi was getting dressed, so it was up to me to open the door. I was still in my dark nightgown and my hair was a mess. Yoongi got up again, made breakfast and got up before me. We didn't talk at all, he even pretended I wasn't there and that he lived alone. His eyes had darkened and his face was pale. Maybe I was becoming a burden to him, he was putting another plate on the table. I was so bad that I could not even feel the shame of neglecting my duties.
Now that there was a knock at the door, I could go out. My enforced confinement in the house had come to an end.
“N-noona?”
Yuri was on the other side of the door, ready and waiting. As soon as she saw me, her face lit up and she grabbed me and pulled me to her. As we hugged briefly, I wanted to stay there, to find a safe smell, a refuge. I wasn't well. What had happened to me? What had happened that I had given up so quickly on my desire to be seen by him?
He couldn't see me. I even wondered how I dared to exist when he looked at me. Sometimes he looked at me in such a way that I almost thought he hated me. As if he saw me as a substitute for his dead love. Perhaps that was it, that was his secret. No matter what he said, he thought I was a replacement for someone I couldn't replace.
“What is it, Jimin? You look like someone who's going to cry. Are you all right?” Yuri was worried and looked inside, “Where's Yoongi?”
I had to pull myself together quickly. I smiled. “What crying, Noona... I just missed you.”
“'You mean you had time to miss me?” I looked away as she giggled... Oh, how I found time. Time... it was the most abundant thing in my life these days. “I actually thought I shouldn't have come. But Mum insisted. She said I should check on you... And Jungkook. But I don't want to go, I'm scared of what I'll see, please come with me Jimin. I mean, if you can drop off your Alpha - I thought we could go to the market afterwards.”
“Noona, welcome.”
“Yoongi, dear.” Yoongi walked past me and greeted her. He closed the front of his thick coat and pulled on his boots. “I was just leaving, it's good you came. Today you and Jimin will finish the house.”
“Where are you going?”
“I haven't been to practice for three days, I have to look after the kids. And we have a meeting with the alphas, winter solstice in a few days, you know. Duty calls.”
Yuri laughed in surprise. “Since when do you love duty so much?”
That hurt, as if it could be more, and I ducked my head. He was avoiding me.
“Let's go, Noona…” I said, my voice shaking. I have to decorate the house. “I'll get ready, I'll be right there.”
“I'm going out, dear, be careful and come home before sunset.” Yoongi grabbed my wrist and turned me towards him before walking past. He left a light kiss on the edge of my lip, on my chin. His lips were warm, even if I felt like dying there for a moment, he couldn't do that. No, he couldn't touch me like that. As if he loved me. I even hated Yuri at that moment. I needed someone to blame and I quickly waved goodbye and ran out of there.
When I got dressed and came back, the Alpha was gone. I thought, 'I've got to pick myself up. I've got to keep going. Everyone has a bad day. Maybe I overdid it, maybe I made a big deal out of it.’ I thought and tried to make myself happy.
Our first stop was Jungkook and Taehyung's big two-storey house. As I walked there, I felt uncomfortable as people who saw me whispered to each other. “What were they talking about? What had I done wrong?”
“They say your scent hasn't changed.” Yuri explained, noticing my curious eyes. “You've already been mated, of course it doesn't change, idiots. They're just gossiping.”
And I hated how vulnerable our scents were. Yuri continued. “But your scent is a bit weak for me, are you sick or...”
“Nothing,” I cut her off, what could I say? The truth, at most. ‘We haven't slept in the same bed and it looks like we never will. We don't even really love each other, do we?’ Maybe if I said so, things would be easier for me. There was no one left to hear my cries for help as the sky I lived in twisted and crushed me.
“Yoongi didn't bother you, did he?”
“How could he bother me, he treats me so well.” I said, struggling to smile.
For the next five minutes, even though we pounded on the door with our fists, no one answered. The smell of the two of them was so intense that it could be smelled all around the house, and after a while it started to bother me. My wolf was restless. There was obviously a great war going on inside. “I think they are busy, Noona, shall we go?”
“I told Mum, I told her to give up on them. They won't be out for at least a week, they've both gone wild.”
I felt ashamed for them, or jealous of their love, I don't know. But I couldn't say anything. I just stood there with my eyes on the floor.
Noona must have given up after a few more knocks, because she came back. “They've lost their chance, let's go. I can't take it anymore.”
I said. “They need to be isolated from the outside world”, and we walked out of the garden of their house together, back into life. They were only interested in each other, as if the whole world had stopped, while we were so different.
“Spoilt brats…” Noona muttered as she took my arm, laughing inwardly. “They're so different from you... They love to mess things up.”
“But you said... They've waited so long.” I tried to smile. “We didn't wait at all. Everything happened so fast, the things worth waiting for are better.”
God knows I've waited a long time. And here I am, with no choice but to believe the lies I tell myself.
“Every relationship has its own flavour.” She tried to soften him. “You're lucky that life brought you together so quickly.”
“Yes. We're lucky…” My voice cracked. “It's all been so easy.”
*****
Half an hour later, with horse-drawn carts and betas at the back, we arrived at the marketplace in the Neutral Zone. Every six months, merchants from distant packs would set up shop in the Neutral Zone and browse the various stalls. There was everything from the tropical fruits harvested from the shores of Pairin to the gold-framed paintings, from the war cloaks and boots to the unique knives from the lands of Northern Arashi. I had often seen such products on my travels, but only from a distance. The market will only be open for a few days, so I wanted to visit it as soon as possible. Here you can find things for your home that you would never normally find.
“Oh…” I said, trying to be enthusiastic, but I couldn't see anything. I couldn't stay in the moment. “How nice.”
“Look at all this porcelains! My God... There are two pairs. Shall we buy them together? I'll take one for my dowry.”
I looked in the direction she was pointing. With this elegant green set of two cups and a teapot, I could make my Alpha nice winter teas and we could sip them in front of the fireplace while we talked. “Of course.”
After an hour, I was halfway through the bag of gold Yoongi gave me, so I had to stop myself. All the stuff we had bought had taken up as much space as a car. Luckily, there were porter betas at the market, so none of us had to carry it. No one said anything to my face. Although I was bothered by the looks I got as I walked around the market. Only two old Omegas found it odd that I was leaving so soon after the wedding. I didn't say anything. According to Noona, the wedding feast was still going on yesterday on the hill, and the people were still feeding their hungry bellies. “Yoongi has decided that the feast will last for three days.” She said. “Winter is much harder for most of us. He wanted people to eat well, so he gave out free food for at least a few weeks of the year.”
“Is that so?” This information caught my attention. “How nice...”
“He probably didn't tell you, and he'd be angry if I told you. He doesn't like to be told about his favours.” She looked around, “He's helped the Pack so much, he's worked so hard... After what happened, he's thrown himself into it...” She paused, realising what she'd said. “Oh, I'm sorry, Jimin.”
“It's okay…” I said. Now I was the bad thing that happened to him. After me, he'd be a hero. “I'm used to it.”
“I'm really sorry, I'm such an idiot.” She pulled me to her. “Are you tired? We can go home if you like. It's almost evening. Let's carry the stuff home and try it out.”
“Are you coming to our place?” I asked eagerly.
Noona was surprised. “Are you so happy?”
Of course I was happy. If I could, I'd get into her pocket and hide there to go to the Min Mansion with her. “Well... You'd be my first guest, that's why.”
“You've adapted well to this life, my dear. Of course I'll come. I'll come every day for as long as you want.”
“I don't have any friends. Yoongi is going to go to work at some point and leave me alone, I'm a bit bored... I'd really appreciate it if you could keep me company.”
“Don't worry, you'll make friends. You already have a lot of fans, you dazzled them at the wedding. They are very curious about you, they keep their distance because you are a stranger.”
“Will my speech give me away?” I pursed my lips in sadness. Very rarely could I grasp the true meaning of what was said, and when there was a second or even third meaning, I was confused. Maybe that was the reason why I couldn't understand Yoongi sometimes. “I wasn't perfect. I'll learn everything, I promise.”
“No, there's nothing wrong with your speech.”
“Someone said I had an accent.”
“Packs are suspicious of strangers, that's all. There's a winter solstice festival soon, you'll fit in, don't worry.”
As we left with the Betas carrying our belongings, I looked back at the Beta who seemed to be carrying a very heavy load. “I'd like to help if you're struggling.” I offered, my hands too free.
“Thanks Omega Min, we've got it.”
Noona tugged at me, “What are you doing, they must be shocked that you offered.”
I was still stuck on what the beta said. ‘Omega Min.’ That was me. Shouldn't I be happy, at least a little hopeful? Maybe I had made the wrong wish, maybe my prayers to God had been misdirected. I had always prayed to find my soul mate, and it had happened. I didn't think about it. I didn't consider the possibility that my soul mate wouldn't recognise me.
“Here we are.”
After I opened the door, the betas left their loads of belongings in the hall and I sent them on their way with a generous fee. I wish I could have done more. “Come on Noona, I'll make you a cup of tea. Sit down.”
“Okay, dear, I'll start unpacking, let's get this done before Yoongi gets here. There were some things we bought for his room, let's surprise him.” I had never actually seen the room, but Noona had asked me what she thought would look good in his room. I had agreed to buy them to avoid embarrassment.
Yuri lit the fire in the living room and sat down on the thick, soft cushions on the floor to open the parcels. I prepared and served the tea in the new porcelain set. The cushions were already piled high with parcels destined for the bin. She was more excited than I was. “Look at these! They are so cute, you can put them in the children's room in the future.”
“Yes, of course…” I said awkwardly. Even today she had forced me to make plans for the empty guest room upstairs. If I made it into a children's room, the pup would come quickly. I didn't think so. I didn't want to. How could I take care of a pup if I couldn't take care of myself? Yoongi didn't like pups either, it took a lot of heart to love one.
I sat next to her and looked at the glass vases in her hands. “You can put in geraniums and lavender that bloom in the spring. We can buy lots of seeds, the veranda is perfect for that. You can make a flower garden.”
“Yes, we will buy some. It would be nice to take my mind off things.” I had never grown flowers before. That was normal, as I had never stayed anywhere for more than a year.
The tea I had made with some dried herbs and fruits was not very tasty. I could tell by the taste, but Yuri drank it all without complaining. I was ashamed, I couldn't even manage to make a cup of tea. I watched her hang the landscape paintings we had bought on the wall, the house had taken on a personality with just a few pieces of furniture. The woven rugs we had bought for the living room and Yoongi's room were the last to go. “It's beautiful.” I said as the rug took its place in the living room.
Yuri picked up the other carpet. “Come quickly, let's surprise Yoongi.”
I couldn't object, I couldn't tell her not to go in the room, how could I? I was the only one who wasn't supposed to go in there. “Maybe Yoongi won't like it, shouldn't we do it?” I asked hesitantly. Just as I reached for the door handle, she stopped and looked at me. “He won't like something you've done, his mate, is that it?”
“Noona…” She opened the door violently and called me inside before I had a chance to say it. “What are you waiting for, come quickly and bring those old books we bought.”
I grabbed the dusty books with thick covers that were lying on the table. I had bought them for him, and I knew he liked reading and old books, just by looking at his room in the old house. How else would I have known? Maybe he would have liked it, I don't know. I guess I wanted to look like a good mate in Yuri's eyes.
My feet went backwards, I stayed as long as I could, but I had no choice. Part of me was madly curious and the other part begged me not to cross the line. I walked through the door Yoongi had closed for me. I stood in the middle of the room like an unwanted object. “Why are you standing there?” Yuri chuckled. “You're so funny Jimin... Everyone would think you're in a stranger's house. And what's this? Look, there's already a carpet here, you told me there wasn't one.”
I blushed in embarrassment. “I'm sorry Noona, I misremembered, I haven't been in this room much, I haven't had time.”
“No apologies!” She came and hugged me, “I didn't mean to hurt you. I was joking. Anyway, that's a nicer, better quality rug you've got. It'll keep your alpha warmer, I'll put this one away now.” She bent down and rolled up the carpet on the floor and put it in a corner. Then she rolled up the carpet I had bought, which looked brand new with its intense colours of blue, red and brown. I took the opportunity to look around hungrily while I was here, in this room, and that's when I noticed a small ring on a rectangular brown table made of quality mahogany. There was nothing on the table but a box and this ring.
When Noona realised I was looking at it, she reached out and took it without offering it. I was startled, I felt as if I had committed a crime, a great sin. I don't know why, but I was terrified.
“Shall we go out now?”
“Wait, wait, what is this?” Her eyebrows raised and she giggled. “Oh Yoongi! You're such a romantic, darling. Take it.”
“I-I…”
“I spoiled the surprise! Didn't I? He shouldn't have left it in public either, it's not our fault.” She sighed, curling her lip, but quickly recovered. “I remember how hard he worked to make that ring, it was years ago... It's wonderful that someone will finally wear it.”
My ears began to buzz. I didn't want to hear it, I wanted to run away, it wasn't mine, it wasn't mine. That was obviously why he didn't want me in his room, he didn't want me to dirty his memories.
“Put it on, he'll be so happy to see it.”
I shook my head from side to side in vain. Yuri had already placed the ring that weighed down my hand in my palm. “Put it on.”
“Noona - maybe he should give it to...”
“Come on... At least try it, then we'll put it back. Please!” I looked at the ring with the gems I had never seen before. I held something forbidden in my hands and I wanted to run away. Run away and disappear. “These stones are so rare, I can't tell you... You're so lucky. Even Taehyung doesn't have any. Yoongi was as happy as a child when he found them.”
I wanted her to stop, my throat was knotted. As I took the ring and put it on my finger, I heard the door close.
It was Yoongi…
Oh shit. Oh shit. Yoongi was here. “Oh, we're caught…” His sister said as she fumbled around.
“Noona?” Yoongi was standing in front of me with some packages in his hands. I was staring at him, in his room, with a ring on my finger, a ring he didn't make for me. I had gone too far. “Jimin?”
“Yoongi…” I said. “W-we bought a carpet for your room...”
“Do you like it, Yoongi? Jimin chose it.”
As Yoongi continued to stare at me, Yuri said, “We saw your ring, you left it out in the open, Jimin was just trying it on. Look how good it looks.” She pointed at my finger, now we were in an impossible place to hide, I sank deeper and deeper. “Yoongi... I'm so happy for you that you found someone to wear it with. It's amazing.” She smiled and stroked her brother's cheek, but Yoongi remained stiff. Yuri, noticing this reaction, looked for a way to leave as she felt the cold wind blowing between us. “I'd better go.”
“My mum called for you, I ran into her at the market, I think you should go too.” Yoongi said gently, dismissing her.
Five minutes later I was alone, my heart fluttering like a bird's, but this time it was fear.
Yoongi, as calm as he had been until that moment, abandoned his composure after Yuri left the house and closed the door hard, hard enough to make me flinch, and in a few steps he approached me in front of the forbidden room. “What do you think you're doing?”
His eyes were burning, I had never seen them like that before. He had never looked so angry, not even when his father had said bad things to him.
“I'm sorry, I really...”
“I told you not to go in there!” He thundered without giving me a chance to explain. He took a step back and frowned at me. This time he looked confused, his red hair tousled as he took off his hat. “I expected you to at least respect my wishes, is that too much to ask?”
“Yoongi, it really wasn't on purpose, why would I do something like that on purpose? We saw a rug at the market, your sister said it would look good in your room, so I said yes. She insisted on going into your room, should I have told her not to? She was so comfortable, I thought she had been there before.”
“She's my sister, who are you?” He looked at me as if he really wanted to know who I was, his voice panting. “Don't put yourself in the same category as her, it was a rule you had to follow.”
My eyes welled up and I tried very, very hard not to cry. I didn't want to cry in front of him. “I'm sorry…” I tried to keep my voice from shaking, but I couldn't. “It won't happen again. Next time you'll lock your door and I'll tell everyone I'm not allowed in the room.”
“That's exactly what I'll do next time, thank you.” His shoulders slumped as his eyes fell to my hand. “I can understand you going into the room, I can understand you having a reason. But there's no excuse for putting that ring on your finger, Jimin. You crossed the line...” He was silent for a moment before continuing. “If it belonged to you, it would be on your finger already.”
“I don't give a damn about the ring.” I protested and tried to take it off. I couldn't understand what was wrong with him. Was I the reason he was so hurt and angry? “Yuri insisted I wear it. I had to, she thought you'd surprise me when she saw it on the table.”
“Still, the ring doesn't belong to you. It never will. You can ask me for anything, I'll buy you any ring you want, but not this one.”
“That's enough! You're not even listening to me!” I shouted this time. Our eyes met, my voice cracking as I tried to get the bloody ring off my finger. “Just like you treat me like I'm your mate in front of people, I did the same, that's all, to hell with your ring. You should have given it to the owner. You have no right to tell me that, Yoongi.”
Who was the owner? The fire in the pit of my stomach burned my skin.
“I'm doing this because I have to, and you're acting like you expect something from me.” He said. I couldn't believe it was coming out of his mouth.
“What are you implying?” I said in surprise. My stomach churned as if I was going to throw up.
“Isn't it obvious? I told you yesterday, the way you look, the way you act... It's like you expect me to be someone I'm not and you're disappointed when I'm not.”
As he took a step closer and stood in front of me, I trembled, I had never been so humiliated in my life. I took a step back in surprise. The fact that he had gone so far was beyond me. My surprise was that he had realised all this. Even I hadn't realised. Had I made it too obvious that I was more than willing to approach him? All I was doing was trying to get closer to my soul mate and I had thrown it all into the fire. He had noticed and I was finished. I shook my head from side to side in confusion. I didn't know what to say, denial seemed to be the only way. After taking so much abuse and taking my share, it was impossible for me to tell him the truth. It was beyond impossible. I had been pushed into a position I had never considered by the anger and hostility behind his words.
I had barely opened my mouth when Yoongi went one step further and held out his hand. “Can I have my ring back now?”
Shaking off the shock, I took the ring from my cold fingers and placed it in his outstretched palm. It was then that I noticed the words 'for my soulmate' engraved in the ancient language inside the ring. It was one of the few words I could read, it was neatly engraved handwriting. This was the second and final blow to my heart, as if it was aimed directly at my death. I lifted my head and looked into Yoongi's eyes with a questioning expression. "Your soulmate?"
Yoongi took the ring from my hand, looked at it for a moment and then pocketed it. He looked as if he didn't like my questioning, as if he realised that I had seen the writing. “Yes.” He just said. He didn't even explain, I was so absent I didn't even deserve an explanation.
My heart skipped a beat and I just stared, my breath caught in my throat. A soulmate? There was a soulmate? Was it all an illusion? And who was I? Whose soulmate? Everything became clear. Yoongi had been the problem all along. He had been looking for me in other places, in other people. He was the mistake and he didn't even realise it.
“What?” I asked dully. My face was as white as chalk.
“You heard me.” He snapped. “I made it for my soulmate, a soulmate I'll never find. Because there isn't one in the world. Do you understand? It was in my room, on my desk, because... Damn it, do you have to know everything?” He asked, confused and unable to cope. “It's just not yours. That's all.”
“Why do you think you won't find your soulmate?” I asked in a quiet voice. Would it kill me to hear the answer? I was vulnerable to arrows, but if I couldn't do it now, I never would.
“Because if there was one, I would know. What kind of question is that? You feel and know that your soulmate is alive. I don't have a soulmate. I'm not one of those lucky people. I realise that now. That's why I gave up.”
“You never told me that…” I murmured, crushed inside.
“That's because you didn't need to know, nobody knows.”
I trembled inside, I had become part of a mystery whose meaning only I could know. “So you're saying... This soulmate ring has no owner.” I said, staring absently into a corner. “Is that so?”
“Yes.” He said sternly, as if he wanted to end this conversation and get out of here as soon as possible. “Not you, that's for sure.”
I pressed my lips together, I'd had enough. “You'd feel it if I was…”
“Of course I would.” He said, as if it were obvious. “If it was you.”
If pain could kill you, I would have been in the peaceful arms of God at that moment. I couldn't even breathe. I couldn't stand there any longer, so I turned and went to my room.
Tonight had taught me a good lesson. Nothing was in vain, I hadn't gone through this for nothing. Never. He never deserved to know the truth. He was so arrogant, so sure of himself, I hated him. I hated him with every fibre of my being. He didn't see what was right in front of him. He didn't think it was possible. A loser like me couldn't be his soulmate. Of course, he dreamed of someone else. Someone whose family was good, who wasn't thrown out of the pack, who knew how to cook, who had a pretty face and soft hair... Who never knew the weight of being unloved... Someone else. That's what he thought. He thought he could feel. He couldn't feel anything. He was a smug, arrogant, ungrateful alpha male who thought he knew everything. And the worst part was, he didn't even realise it.
I couldn't even cry because all the unspoken sentences were stuck in my throat, it was that kind of pain. I couldn't shed a single tear. I picked up the pieces of myself that he had broken and thrown away, stood up and made a decision.
I wasn't going to give in to him.
Notes:
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Chapter 15: Needy
Notes:
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Chapter Text
14. "I lived in your chess game but you changed the rules every day."*
(Yoongi)
Jimin had just left the emotional battlefield and locked himself in his room. I was hit with a sharp and intense pain in my head. I grabbed the doorjamb as the floor seemed to slide out from under my feet. My ears buzzed, my vision blurred, my whole equilibrium upside down.
‘What was happening?’
I hurried out the door to get some fresh air and stepped onto the unfinished veranda. There were a lot of empty pots and flower seedlings under my feet. Jimin must have bought them today, I couldn't even see what he had bought. When I saw him in my room with my ring on his finger, all the voices stopped. I just went over to him.
You're not even listening to me , he said. It sounded like a plea, a begging. Was I that bad? Wasn't I listening to him? I didn't even know what I was doing. It was as if I had been lucky enough to get away from the front line of the war with serious injuries, dodging the explosions as they went off all around me.
I leaned my wrists against the wooden railing of the veranda and bowed my head, trying to control my breathing. My heart was squeezing my chest, as if someone had taken my heart in the palm of their hand and squeezed and squeezed.
When was the last time I panicked like this? When had I lost control like this? When I killed Lucas? No, not even close. My inner wolf had controlled everything for me, and I'd come through it flawlessly.
Was it the first time my father raised his hand to me? On that warm spring evening when I wanted to give him the knife I had made? When I still had the faintest hope that he would love me? And until he told me I was a stupid fox and that everything I did was useless? When I realised that he would never love me?
No, it wasn't pain I felt, it was regret. Remorse. Fire. It was as if I'd been thrown off a cliff. It was similar and yet different. Maybe the problem was with me. Maybe I had misinterpreted his actions, panicked and messed things up. Maybe I had recklessly broken a rare heart to the extent that a few weeks after I had promised not to hurt him. I had broken him so badly that he wouldn't be able to put the pieces back together again.
That break in his gaze was like a kind of loss. As if he'd lost himself. Because of me. He didn't know what had happened to him because of me. He'd been called things he didn't deserve and humiliated, all because of me.
Today, when I went out for the first time as a married Alpha, everything was different. I took it all out on him. When did I become like this? Who am I becoming?
I shivered slightly as the harsh wind licked at my skin, but I didn't bother to go inside and get my jacket. I deserved to punish myself. I had hurt someone. I had hurt someone very badly. I was a very, very bad man. Maybe my father was right, and the longer I stayed with my fox, the worse I would become. A monster. A horrible, horrible creature that nobody liked, that lived in a remote cave.
‘No, no, no, no, no, no. When would I be free of my father's influence? Now that I was free of him, now that I was grown up and had my own little family, why was he still tormenting me? Why was I still doing this to myself?’
I guess I didn't know what to do with this new life I had.
“Fuck…” I muttered, fighting the thoughts in my head. My heart was beating so fast I could feel its unstable, uncomfortable echo in my ears. Whatever had happened had happened after Jimin had left. It was as if the veil had been lifted from my eyes. Only then did I realise what had happened and what I had done.
When I checked my pocket, I felt that the ring was still there, as if it were a magical, malevolent entity. I found myself hating its presence, which weighed me down, almost burning my skin. There was an unexpected feeling, as if I couldn't even bear the sight of it in my pocket. I wanted to destroy it, to throw my most beautiful artefact, the one I had spent so many days working on, into the fire and watch it burn to ashes. It was just a stupid ring and I was the one who gave it meaning. I was the one who believed in the impossible, not Jimin.
“Stupid!” I said to myself, my hands started to shake and I was experienced enough to know what that meant. That if I didn't control myself, the crisis I was on the verge of would swallow me up, that if I didn't grab the rope in the well, I would disappear into the darkness. “No, no…” I tried to control my breathing as my knuckles turned white from the pressure of the porch railing, “No, no…”
Why had I left the ring out in the open? Had I never considered that someone might see it? Or was it exactly what I wanted? Had I found a painful way to extinguish any hope Jimin had for me?
Which one was I?
I couldn't stand it anymore. The war inside me spilled out and dried up everything around me . ‘You're a creature, not a wolf. I wish you'd never been born. A shame for your family. No one wants to be with you.’
Jimin does. Maybe. I'm not sure anymore. I must have made it all up in my head. If he'd ever wanted to be with me, he'd be hating me now, and I gave him a good reason to.
I couldn't grow up. I couldn't get rid of the thick ropes that surrounded me on all sides, I became their slave.
The two people who crossed my path on my way to work in the morning became the salt and pepper of the day. So I had another memory that would make me angry when I remembered it. They were Omega Deori and his brother, the young Alpha Songdo. One of Hyuna's few remaining relatives. Cousins. The moment I saw them waiting outside the drill hall, I knew why they had come. It wasn't hard to tell from the cold, vengeful expressions on their faces.
I took my hands out of my pockets and nodded. I respected them. Of course I did. I had drained Hyuna. I thought that those who loved her had good reason to hate me after that day. If I hadn't made that mistake, if I had held her hand that day and gone in with her... If I had given her what she wanted....
“Min Yoongi.”
“Omega Deori…” I glanced at her briefly and turned to her brother. “Alpha Songdo…” The young Alpha with dark brown hair was about Jungkook's size. His immaturity showed in his face, but he was angry. Young and angry Alphas are the most dangerous, an older Alpha in our pack once said.
“We never thought you'd go this far.” Omega said, squinting. She wore a thick cloth dress and an expensive fur coat that showed her status. Hyuna's family had been rich. The Alphas had been the source of that wealth, but after the great catastrophe, part of the family had been lost. The remaining handful had continued to live either here or at their residence in Pairin.
“I don't think I understand what you're talking about.”
“You understand perfectly.” She said, as if spitting. “How can you look me in the face, fuck you?”
Songdo said, “There are four lunar anniversaries in a year, and hundreds of days. And which day did you choose to get married? Or don't you remember? Let me help you remember. Hyuna. Have you forgotten, too?” He added, leaning closer to me. His scent was menacing, but not enough to intimidate my wolf. We were the same size, a little thinner than me. I clenched my teeth and kept my composure. “Hyuna loved you very much. She believed she would marry you one day. She believed so much. And what did you do? You married someone else the day she died. And you had a big, splendid wedding. You married him like there was no other fucking day in the world!” I didn't even shake when he poked me in the chest. He must have been so upset by that that he had to catch his breath. “This is how you repay your loyalty to her! You arsehole! You're an arsehole.” He laughed. “Anyway... What did we expect from a fox?”
He had said fox with the same contempt and disgust as my father. While the majority of the pack were fine with me being a fox and praised my second kind, the evil ones, who knew it was my weakness, did what my father had done, even though it wasn't something I was used to hearing from anyone else. It was a despicable reaction that I wouldn't even expect from Hyuna's relatives.
I raised my eyes to his and gave him a long look.
“Aren't you going to say anything?”
Deori interjected. “God has already punished him. He made him a fox, Let’s leave.”
My patience had reached its limit. “Is it over?”
“'Damn you! Can't you at least apologise?”
“If I apologise, will your heart grow cold? Or will Hyuna come back?”
“Don't say her name! Don't…” Seongdo said, wagging his finger threateningly. I could break all his fingers in a few seconds, and he'll never be able to mend them. Calm down. It won't do you any good.
“All right. Then let me through. I'm late for class.”
“I hope you're as upset as Hyuna, this is enough for a lifetime Yoongi. What else can I say to you? I wish you a lifetime of peace with your Omega.”
I stopped just as I passed them. “Don't drag my Omega into this.” I said, looking at her sternly over my shoulder. “He has nothing to do with this.”
“Damn him too!” Omega said, waving her hand. Her eyes were full of tears. She was burning with revenge, and God knows she would enjoy it very much if I were miserable, if I were to die right now. “Your mother is already punishing him.”
“What are you talking about? Now we were facing each other, nose to nose. I was one step away from turning around in anger. Jimin being blamed for my actions was something I could never accept.
“Everyone knows. Everyone knows that when Taehyung was her favourite bride, she treated Jimin like garbage.”
“Shut up!”
The Omega laughed. “What's wrong with you? Don't you want to hear the truth? It's Hyuna's sigh.”
“That's enough!” I snapped. My parents weren't helping. They were so obsessed with making a good impression that they had no idea how their actions would look. “I understand your anger. But if you bring my Omega into this and mention him again, I'll lose my patience.”
“ What are you gonna do?” It was the Alpha who intervened. “Just try it.”
“Hey! Yoongi? What's going on here?”
It was Alpha Jung Woon, one of the other instructors. He came out of the training room and walked towards us. It took me hours to get my head together, even though he grabbed my arm and pulled me away. Woon tried to persuade me, but his efforts were in vain. “They want to bother you, don't give them the pleasure.”
“They were right.” I said. “They were right. But they got Jimin involved. I'm angry about that.”
“May the tongues that reach for your omega be cut off,' he said in reply. He seems like an angel. What could he be guilty of?”
Suddenly I felt an echo in my chest. I sat up and looked at the Alpha. “Stay out of this.”
I scolded him too. The next few hours were just as agonising. Making small talk with the parents who brought their children to the training centre was the hardest part. They all had an opinion about the wedding. On top of that, the subject of the three-day banquet I had organised kept coming up. I wanted to beat the shit out of whoever had suggested I organise it. I could only clear my head when I was alone with the kids. I showed them some technical and basic defensive positions.
In the evening, all the boys had gone home and I wanted to stay late. But Alpha Woon said he would take care of everything and forced me to go home. “You're not going to leave your Omega alone on the second day, are you?”
I couldn't object, even though I wanted to.
On the way back, I wondered if I had done the right thing in making this deal. I was distracted, tired and angry, guilt burning my skin.
I had lost Hyuna for the sake of waiting. I had put my hopes on hold while struggling with remorse. I had started my war by blaming myself. I had given up on my soul mate and married Jimin, whom I saw as the last saviour. I naively hoped that everything would work out.
And that's when the fight broke out. Everything had happened so quickly that I could only seat on the cold veranda. I didn't know whether an hour or much longer had passed. As the minutes passed, I could barely regulate my breathing. When I went inside, my ears and fingertips were numb from the cold. I felt like vomiting and grimaced. Being in the place where it had happened again made me want to run away. My eyes went to the closed door on the right.
Jimin...
Another flower I have withered. How many times do I have to make the same mistake? How many times do I have to regret it?
Tomorrow I'd have to apologise to him. But I didn't know if he would forgive me, I didn't know. I didn't know Jimin. I didn't know what he liked or hated, I didn't know how long it would take for him to forgive me. I didn't even know myself, I was just someone I didn't know. It seemed to me that I had done everything I could to make him and I live under the same roof like two enemies.
*****
(4 Days Before Winter Solstice )
It was impossible to live. It was impossible to live in such an environment, with a soul mate who would never love and accept him, even though he had been in search of him for years.
Jimin insisted on not accepting this for a while, yes. He hadn't given up hope when he saw him for the first time, even though he realised at first glance that he didn't recognise him. He had swallowed his pride and naively believed that everything would be all right.
But after what had happened last night, every ounce of hope had been surrendered to the darkness. Their naivety had turned to weakness and struck him, bleeding his skin, piercing his soul. Would he ever laugh again? Would he ever try to love again?
He had nowhere else to turn. All his ways led to Yoongi. It was a real curse. It really was. Only now could he understand the words of the seer he met in North Arashi three years ago and stayed with. At that time, he could only think of all the terrible possibilities, so he had asked the seer a question.
“What does it mean to be born with flowers?” The old man stroked his beard and answered as follows. “You must search to find the owner.”
“ What if these flowers have no owner”
“There is always someone, my son. Nothing happens without a reason. It takes time to get to the end, that's always the case. Reunion takes work. No matter how hard it is, every soul finds its mate.” Then he added. “But there is a prophecy in the old books. It can only be the curse of a god, something that has never happened before.”
“'What is it?”
“'It would be... very... very cruel for soulmates not to recognise each other because of what they have done in the past. Fortunately, God is not that cruel. The past is a treasure to be dug up, it holds the answers to everything, but most of us overlook it.”
Jimin had put the subject out of his mind that day. The mere existence of the possibility made him shudder. He found himself experiencing things he thought would never happen to him. How sad…
Maybe he should go back to the hut of the seer who lived at the foot of Mount Fushi and ask him to save him from this curse. To change the prophecy.
What had he done? Why had he been punished like this? How simple things were for Yoongi. Nobody could be blamed for what they didn't know. And Jimin was far from being the saviour who would tell him what he didn't know, he didn't want to tell him anything anymore. What good would it do after what happened yesterday.
‘I would feel it if you were my soulmate, who are you,’ he had said and looked into his eyes. If Jimin forgave him, his heart would not forgive him.
He didn't count how often his eyelashes got wet that night. How many times he had to wipe his eyes on his wrist and how many times his throat tightened. How often he cursed him. His agony did not end there. After he entered the room and lay down under the cold blankets, he felt Yoongi again.
It was a painful feeling, indescribable. For some reason, his heart fluttered and he was burdened with the desire to heal Yoongi. The only person who needed to be healed was himself, how could he be so stupid? That's why he didn't go any further, he let this feeling penetrate him. He was already riddled with holes, pain leaking out all over the place.
Who was he? He couldn't answer Yoongi's question. Who was Jimin if his soulmate didn't love him and didn't see him? An island without a sea, a fish without a lake and a universe without a sun.
The end of this path did not look good.
Still, he fell asleep, hoping it was all a bad nightmare.
But it wasn't.
*****
Yoongi didn't know where to begin. He had spent hours thinking about how to deal with the Omega in the morning. But he couldn't figure it out. He'd never had the opportunity to ask for forgiveness from an Omega in the flesh before.
It was his first chance and he didn't want to mess it up... But hadn't he already?
His heart was heavy, surprisingly so. But that was how he felt when he woke up in the morning and looked at him for the first time. Even though his heart hadn't slowed down for a long time after a heavy attack last night, his throat was dry and his trembling hadn't stopped. The bitterness hadn't hit him until the next morning.
Jimin looked at him in such a way that he gasped because it was like looking in a mirror.
It was like looking at himself. A look of indifference, of exhaustion, of giving up, of giving up the fight and of cold. A pair of full, light brown eyes that contained all emotion and none at the same time.
Still, the Alpha found the face to say “Good morning” to him. Immediately after that, he felt very stupid. It was the most ridiculous thing to say to the ruin in front of him. He'd turned him into a ruin. In just a few minutes.
He wanted to hit his head against the walls.
When Jimin saw him in the kitchen, he went to the small box where they kept the wood. He wanted to finish the job as soon as possible. But he didn't forget to reply. “Good morning.”
He should have sensed at least a hint of anger, but there was none. Yoongi couldn't make sense of the voice. It was like a soul stripped of all emotion. Now he was tormenting him with his white pyjamas and puffy eyes.
The roles in the game had changed.
“Let me help you…” Yoongi offered as Jimin took the heavy wood in his arms. “Give it to me, I'll carry it.”
“No need.” Omega said without batting an eyelash, turning quietly and leaving. Yoongi had to put the wood back because he had no right to enter his room after what he had said.
Shaken, he prepared breakfast for himself and Omega while half an hour passed by. Then he knocked on his door and called. “I made breakfast for you.” He had a quick snack himself when Omega did not come out. “I can leave it on your doorstep if you like.”
“I'm not eating.” A whisper came from the room.
Instead of recovering, he was getting weaker by the day, and Yoongi was to blame.
In fact, Jimin hadn't eaten breakfast that day. He didn't come to dinner either, he didn't feel like eating. He was cold. It was as if he had fallen into a block of ice and no one came to his rescue. Yoongi's voice from behind the door came closer, then faded. But he never came into the room. He invited him to dinner but Jimin refused again. But he had made miso soup and roast beef because he thought he liked it.
Jimin felt nauseous as the delicious smells that he normally loved filled his nostrils. He shut himself up completely under the blanket.
It was a first. It was a first for him to shut himself off and isolate himself from everything.
His resigned helplessness became apparent on the second day. When he woke up, he was shivering as if he had malaria. He was cold from his fingertips to his feet. The nausea of yesterday was replaced by hunger.
After all, he was a weak Omega. If only he were an indestructible Alpha like a mountain, maybe it would be easier for him to live in this cruel world.
He shivered out of his pyjamas and put on a cotton tunic and two knitted pullovers. He didn't care about his status or the clothes he had to wear, stopping the cold was his main concern. When he left the room, swollen with clothes, there was no repeat of yesterday's scene.
But breakfast was ready. What was Yoongi doing? He didn't know why he was being so nice to him. He was confused, but far from trying to make sense of it. He had looked at him strangely yesterday, as if he wanted to say something.
There must have been a few sentences left in him. With a sigh, Jimin pulled up a wooden chair with a red cushion and sat down. There were also leftovers from yesterday on the counter. He ate some of the gimbap in front of him, his stomach growing and growing. He was in an unbalanced state. After finishing the whole plate, he drank some water. It was delicious, but it was as if he couldn't taste the flavours as well. It was nothing like the first meal his Alpha had prepared for him in the hunting lodge.
Everything had been better when he didn't know him.
But now he did, and there was no turning back the clock.
After he had cleared the table and put everything away, he looked for something else to eat. He couldn't understand why he was still hungry after eating all those words. Maybe he shouldn't have eaten the food his hand had touched. But he hadn't learned to cook. Besides, he did not want to make an effort.
Yoongi probably wouldn't mind, since he had prepared it for him, he wanted him to eat it. With a shrug, he left the kitchen with lethargic steps and started to light the fireplace. His face was covered in ash. He curled up on the green cushions next to the fireplace without bothering to clean up.
Yoongi returned home a few hours later. He had hurried to finish his work early because his mind was at home. The house he wanted to run away from and at the same time run back to.
Today he would talk to the Omega. His mate…
When he slowly opened the door, he hadn't expected to see Jimin sleeping by the fireplace. He thought he was in his room again. He quickly looked around the house, the food he had left on the table was gone. Yoongi was surprised to find himself happy. He'd finally eaten something, he'd almost thought he was punishing himself.
The burden of conscience. The weight Yoongi was most familiar with. But this time it hit hard, it was completely different.
He made an extra effort not to wake him. He took off his coat and hung it on the hook in the entrance. Jimin was lying on his side, motionless, his lips parted. Was he all right? Was he breathing? Yoongi watched him for a few minutes without moving. When he didn't feel comfortable, he moved closer and put his finger to his nose.
When his light breath passed through his finger like a feather, he relaxed. He stepped back, but did not move away. Omega's clothes caught his eye, he was dressed as if he were freezing. Had he kept the house too cold, was he getting air from somewhere? He started by closing the windows tightly. He checked to see if anything was open. There didn't seem to be a problem. He stoked the fire in the fireplace and added more logs. And when he woke up, he'd make him a light green tea.
But it felt forbidden to stare at him for so long. Still, he couldn't avert his eyes. Leaning forward, he opened the light-coloured handkerchief he'd taken from his pocket and tried to wipe away the soot and black ash that had fallen on his face.
Jimin's long, curved lashes parted as he lightly touched the bridge of his nose, revealing tired eyes. Yoongi cursed himself inwardly, even holding his breath. Omega had every right to be angry. He had touched him without his consent. He drew back quickly, “Well, I…”
“How long have you been here?” Jimin asked, sitting up slowly and folding his arms across his chest as if he were cold. His voice was so calm and quiet that the Alpha would have been more grateful if he had been angry. “I just got here. I saw you... When I came through the door. You had a smudge of soot on your face, I wanted to wipe it off. Sorry, I woke you up.”
Jimin put his hand to his face and rubbed his nose, “Is it gone?”
“'No, it's a bit higher up, on the tip of your nose.”
Jimin tried it again and this time he was successful, but he still didn't take the handkerchief that Yoongi had handed him, not this time.
“I didn't want to wake you.”
“I fell asleep, I should have gone to my room.”
“You can sleep here too.”
Yoongi frowned as Jimin shivered slightly, still on his knees in front of the pillow. “Are you cold?”
“Yeah, it'll pass now.” He said, “I'll be fine…” Jimin was thoughtful, still very sleepy, but confused by all this. It was strange that Yoongi had approached him so casually. He didn't know what he had in him, what he had lost. But he knew he couldn't hold a grudge against his saviour, the Alpha he owed his life to, not for long. Even if he wanted to, his wolf would not allow it.
He just... Accepted the pain.
And now he didn't want to see his bright yellow eyes remorseful, or see him look pitiful. What was done was done. They could not pretend that what had been said had not been said.
“I'll make you some tea to warm you up. Let's put the soup I made yesterday on the stove and let it warm up.”
“No, I don't want it.”
“But you should eat.”
Jimin didn't answer. He had just eaten, but he was hungry again, as if there was a hole in his stomach. He didn't want to fight it. He nodded his head gently. Then he grabbed the hand-woven checkered blanket on the edge of the sofa and covered himself with it.
Yoongi quickly went to the kitchen, left the soup on the fire and prepared the tea for brewing. It was the first time he felt so helpless with Jimin, as if his words were hitting an imaginary wall and disappearing before they reached him. He struggled and struggled. He seemed to do backflips just to get a single word out of his mouth. Was this how Jimin had once felt about him? When he had willingly left him in front of the door, when he had ignored him and walked past him... He didn't think that this was how he had ever felt.
He sat down on the cushion next to Jimin and cleared his throat as regret burned through him. Omega, on the other hand, hadn't taken his eyes from where they had been for minutes.
“Are you warm?” He poured the tea brewing over the fire from the porcelain teapot into small cups for both of them. When he handed him the red liquid, Jimin took it and bowed his head slightly. “Thank you.”
“I hope you like it. Winter tea. My special recipe.”
“I'm sure it's good.” But he didn't drink it. He leaned his face into the smoke of the tea, wanting to feel the warmth in his bones.
“Jimin…” Yoongi started to speak, he was so nervous. He never knew how to make such speeches. He had only apologised to a cold gravestone and the soulmate he had given up looking for. He gritted his teeth at the thought. No, he wasn't going to bring that into this conversation.
The cold Omega looked softly at the Alpha who was calling him. He blinked tiredly and waited for him to continue.
“I wanted to talk to you... Well, I mean after that night. I just didn't get the chance.”
“Okay…” Jimin said with acceptance. “Do you want to tell me what's left inside you? What else can you say?”
“No, no, no…” He jumped. Damn, he'd got it all wrong. “It's nothing like that. On the contrary... I-I wanted to apologise.”
“Apologise?” Jimin's eyes widened and his lips parted, was he high?
“Forgive me. For what I said. For hurting you. I didn't mean to. I know I went too far and I know that no matter what I say, it won't change what happened. But I thought I should say something. I... I don't want to be that person... In your eyes.”
“ What person?” He asked quietly.
Yoongi wondered if that was all he had said, but he answered. 'Bad… Cruel… Mean… Ruthless… I don't know.”
“Why do you suddenly care? My opinion didn't matter until two days ago.”
“It does. I told you about Lucas. We're married. We're going to grow old and die under the same roof. Let's do it right.”
“That's what I was doing…” He said. “Until you show me my place.”
“Jimin…”
“When I was nice and friendly to you, you took it as affection. You tried everything to push me away. I can't make the same mistake again, Yoongi. We both better stay within our limits.”
He had fallen from his grace. He had lost Jimin forever. That was all that could happen after that. Still, it was a fight worth fighting. He wouldn't give up so easily.
“I want to sleep.” Jimin got up without even taking a sip of his tea. “I'm tired, this conversation won't get us anywhere anyway.”
As Yoongi watched him leave, he was haunted by his own words again.
At dinner, they sat around the table and ate their food without saying a word. Although Yoongi wasn't hungry, Jimin ate everything. It was good that he had a good appetite, the Alpha thought. His frail and weak body needed to be well nourished and as his mate he was obliged to provide it.
When he insisted on doing the dishes, Yoongi agreed. Together they washed and dried the dishes in silence. When his work was done, Yoongi retired to his room. Until a few hours later, when he was about to fall asleep, he felt a stab of pain. He stopped reading a picture book he had taken from the bookshelf by candlelight and paused.
His cold had given way to warmth a few hours ago. He had shed his thick clothes in one fell swoop, replacing them with a thin, dark, belted nightdress. His body was so unstable that he found it difficult to control his wolf. It was as if the two of them had joined forces and declared war on him.
In the middle of the night, he lost the battle. He left his room, listening to his wolf's whimpers, growls and commands. Time became a blur. His head spun wildly, and when the ground seemed to slip away beneath his feet, he clung to the walls with his bare feet. His condition was miserable, his wolf would not shut up. Even when he had been in search of water, his feet led him straight to the point where the pheromones were concentrated, to the dark fur coat on the hanger. His Alpha's coat.
“Shit…” He whispered as he looked to either side in agony. A deep darkness enveloped the whole house, only the dying fire in the fireplace flickered.
He had never been so desperate for Alpha's scent. Now was not the time. Not at all. He'd tormented his wolf and broken off his relationship with Yoongi. So he'd decided to punish him with a slap in the face. He couldn't remember the wolf being so aggressive and persistent. It was all the Alpha's fault. If he hadn't behaved like that, none of this would have happened. As if what he had done wasn't enough, he had also ruined his relationship with his wolf.
He didn't think, which was the only thing he couldn't do at the moment. Think. After taking the heavy fur coat that all Alphas wore in winter and hugging it to his chest, he walked back to his room with determined steps. As he closed his door, he let out a breath, his heart beating fast, he couldn't believe that he was doing secret things. He had gone mad. His mind was definitely playing tricks on him. Maybe he was in a ridiculous dream. Why else would he have snatched the coat of his Alpha, whom he had been so angry with and so offended by, and locked himself up in his room?
He climbed onto the bed and opened the furry inside of the coat. Like a wolf, he rubbed his nose against the fur and sniffed the Alpha's fresh pheromones for a few minutes. It was beautiful, it was irresistible, it made him feel very, very good. His stomach tightened as a pleading growl escaped his throat. Suddenly he found himself wrapped in the big fur. He wanted to be wrapped in the Alpha's thick scent, it wasn't enough, not enough at all. If only he could bathe in his pheromones, if only he could smell like him.
‘Let's make this coat smell like us.’ Suddenly he was startled by the sound of his wolf's voice, and he opened his eyes. His lips and cheeks flushed as if they were on fire, only the soft glow of the fireplace illuminating the room.
Unable to resist the urge, he pressed his forehead against the pillow and whimpered, “Shit…” He had to fight it. The instinct couldn't be stronger than him. Had his scent intensified? Would Yoongi smell it? No, he had to get his coat and hang it up again. It was almost as if his wolf wanted to own something that belonged to the Alpha, to mark it. And that wasn't appropriate in their current situation.
How could he look Yoongi in the face? He would say a lot of words to him again. And who knew, maybe this time he would kick him out of the house. Who was he? Omega Nobody.
His emotions and logic were working against each other as tears welled up in his eyes. Poor Omega found himself clutching the cloak tightly, soaking it in his scent. He did this for minutes, and when his morning discomfort subsided, his eyes fell asleep. He didn't even have time to feel ashamed and sorry for what he had done.
*****
Yoongi woke up early the next day, but he had no plans to go to the training centre that day, so he let Jimin sleep and didn't prepare breakfast until noon. He spent some time in his room, started a book he had read many times, got distracted, then got up and looked at the decoration in the living room again.
He thought Jimin didn't like the changes he had made. While he was sighing and puffing, there was a knock at the door. Yoongi opened the door with quick steps. He was surprised to see one of his little students and his face softened. “Minjae? What's wrong? Are you okay?”
Seeing the worried and frightened look in the boy's eyes, Yoongi leaned over and patted him on the shoulder. Minjae was a cute little nine year old Alpha with blonde hair and his parents pushed him hard to be a good warrior. But he was fragile. “Alpha Min... Alpha Sejong calls you... Calls you to the training hall. One of the students has been injured, one of your students. He fell on the knife.”
“What?” Up to a certain age, students only train with wooden knives and swords, he was worried. “What are you saying? Who is it?”
“I-I don't know, sir. He's calling for you, asking you to come right away.”
“Yoongi?” Jimin opened his eyes at the Alpha's voice. Curious, he put on his cardigan over his nightgown and went to the door, tying his sash.
“Jimin…” He said and looked at him. “Go back to sleep, I was just leaving.”
“Is something wrong?” His eyes went to the cute blonde boy who was waiting in front of the door, “Who is this handsome Alpha?”
“One of the students.” Yoongi pushed himself inside and started looking for his coat. “There was an incident at the training centre, I'm going to check it out, I'll be right back, I'll do some shopping on the way, there's nothing left at home - damn, where is it?” Jimin looked away as Yoongi walked around the house. “What are you looking for?”
“My coat. Where is it?”
“'I-I don't know. You must have put it in your room.”
“'I was sure I hung it here.” Jimin's cheeks flushed as he looked at the Omega who looked away suspiciously. “Put something else on, don't make him wait.”
“I will…” He said thoughtfully. He opened the cupboard next to the door to get dressed, grabbing the leather jacket he didn't wear very often. But his mind was suddenly too full, he had noticed the subtle change in Jimin's scent as he passed by and had gone out the door to think about it. “Come on, you're slowing me down.” He said as he took the little Alpha in his arms and directed his quick steps towards the drill hall.
‘Our Omega is going into heat soon, Yoongi. He spent the whole night crawling on our coat. He was desperate for our scent.’
His lips parted and he braked on the willowy path. He was stunned that his wolf had called to him after such a long time.
Damn.
They weren't even on good terms. How could he help Jimin?
“ What is it, Instructor Min? Are you too scared?”
“What…” He looked confused at the little Alpha on his lap, who had his tiny hands around Yoongi's neck and frowned down. Was his mood that obvious?
“Your face turned white, just like when my father did something without my mother's knowledge.”
“It's nothing, I'm fine. Let's go on.”
No, no, no, he just wanted to go back.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
There was a reason for all this and he was too blind to see it. For three days he had been blaming Jimin's changes on his resentment. He hadn't realised the reason for his constant cold, his overeating and his lethargy.
He was about to go into his first heat. Jimin probably didn't notice it as much as he did, because he didn't seem to notice it at all.
He had stolen his coat.
Yoongi couldn't believe that he was proud of himself. His wolf helped him too. It had been so long since he had heard his voice that it was like meeting an old friend. It was also scary.
Jimin started to open locked doors in him.
When they arrived at the training centre, he was relieved to see that it wasn't as serious as he thought. The healer Jae had already arrived on the scene. One of the students, about fifteen years old, had sneaked into the tool shed, grabbed a knife and tried to prove himself. He had cut his arm. As Jae tended to his wound, Yoongi leaned over to the boy. “Don't ever do anything like that again without me knowing about it. You'll have the weapon you want when you're ready.” He said in an authoritative voice.
“Forgive me, Instructor Min... I just wanted to show you that I can do it.”
“I'm sure you can, but give it time.”
“He won't be able to use his right arm for a while.”
Yoongi, who was upset when Jae's words made the boy cry, hugged him in support. He said the opposite of what his father had told him. “Let it out, cry if you have to. But then know how to stand up. The one who stands up has not lost the war.”
*****
When he and Jae were alone, Yoongi hesitantly broached the subject while he was here. “Master Jae, I have a matter I need to discuss with you.”
The healer shouldered his wicker bag and together they walked towards the market. “What is it? I saw you in need.”
Yoongi leaned close to his ear as a few people passed them. He didn't want anyone to know about his Omega's heat. “My Omega... Jimin... I think he's going into heat.”
“That's good…” Jae said as he smiled. “Why are you bothering?”
“He...” He paused. “It'll be his first time. He doesn't even notice it himself. But I've noticed some changes in him.”
“Tell me about it, son.”
“He's been like this for a few days now. He's been cold, he's been cold all the time, even though the house is warm, and he's been hungry, he's gobbled up everything I've put in front of him.” He was afraid Jae would think he was counting the bites. “Then... Last night he took a coat of mine, I think he marked it.”
Shit. He'd notice they hadn't spent any time together.
But Jae didn't ask for an explanation. He wasn't one to dwell on things. “Have you smelt this coat? Does it still smell like you?”
“Jimin did smell like me.” He said, and it was true. It was a faint smell, someone else wouldn't even notice it, but his nose was sensitive. “I couldn't see the coat, he must have hidden it.”
“I'm not going to ask you why you don't sleep together, it's none of my business. But son, if this is Omega's first heat, you have to be there for him from now on. The presence of a mated Alpha, his partner, is the most important condition for him to spend it comfortably.”
“What else? What else can I do?” He almost blushed. Now, he couldn't let him out of his sight.
“Lots of things. You say he's only been symptomatic for three days. That means there are still a few days left in his pre-heat period.”
“Just after the winter solstice…” He said to himself. He would have to spend that day in the forest. He had to do it, he had to give his Omega fur. What kind of Alpha would he be otherwise.
“Yes, it looks like it. It's his first time, so there's no comparison. Some Omegas have a hard time the first time, it takes time to get over it. The best thing to do is to help him as much as you can and to fulfil his wishes, to fulfil his desires, Yoongi.” He must have seen the worried look on his face because he stopped and patted him on the shoulder. “You can do it, son. I know you can. Don't worry.”
“What if I mess up?”
“You're married and marked, you love each other. It can't possibly go wrong.”
His throat tightened.
“I'm going to recommend a few things that will help you in the pre-heat.” They stopped in front of a market stall selling spices. “Lavender... A very powerful herb that has the ability to calm your wolf. Don't give him parsley tea, it will suppress him and make him reclusive. The Omegas use it when they're in heat, when they don't want to get pregnant.”
As Yoongi stood there, he continued to explain. “But that might irritate the wolf of the Omega, too much is bad. Since this is his first experience, he probably won't get pregnant unless you give him a knot. Don't worry. I know it's too soon, isn't it?”
Yoongi felt his cheeks heat up. A puppy. It was strange to even think about. It was a very, very distant possibility. He wasn't thinking about fulfilling his own wishes. He wasn't thinking about a puppy. He had only made a promise to make the Omega feel good. And he would keep that promise.
“Oh, and dessert. Omegas love to eat delicious sweets before heat, this will distract him for a while.”
*****
While Yoongi was having a difficult conversation with Jae, things were not going well for Jimin either. While he was in his room, there was a knock at the door and he met Yuri. He greeted her in the living room, but Yuri sensed something strange in Jimin's condition and interrogated him.
“What is wrong with you?”
Jimin couldn't stand still. He had spent an hour washing that stupid coat with a pot of water he had heated in the fireplace as soon as Yoongi had left, and it was now drying in the laundry by the fireplace. He blushed as his eyes wandered there and finally spilled the beans. “I... I don't know. I feel strange.”
“Strange how?”
Yuri realised as he put his hand to his crotch and bit his lip.
“Come on!”
“What?”
“Are you serious?”
“What do you mean, Noona?”
“I've been waiting for this moment! I'm more excited about your first time than you are. I need to have this conversation with you right now!”
Jimin begged desperately. “I don't understand what you're saying, Noona.”
“You're getting into a heat, Min Jimin!”
No, no, no, no.
This couldn't be happening.
He had obviously made the mistake of ignoring the possibility whispered in the back of his mind. No way, he said. When I'm so hurt...
Yoongi didn't even want to touch him. Damn it. He would die in pain.
With tears in his eyes, Yuri hugged him, “Mimi! I can understand your fears, you must be very worried.”
“I... I didn't even notice. I've been very cold and hungry for a few days, but I thought it was normal. Then last night…” He nibbled at his lip. “I felt so needy.”
“You should have told Yoongi!”
“He... Didn't want to disturb me because he was working late, so I slept alone.” He lied.
“Oh, my naive brother…” She sighed. “Big hunt is so close. Your Alpha probably won't touch you to avoid bringing your heat to the fore. He'll have to go into the woods to hunt. And he can't leave you alone if it's the beginning of term.”
“When do I go in?” He asked as a pang shot through his stomach. “When will this... When will it be over?”
“I've never experienced it as a Beta, but I know a lot of people who have. All Omegas have an average pre-heat period of seven days, although the length varies. You have at least three days left. Don't worry, your symptoms haven't got any worse yet. So you shouldn't mind going to the festival.”
He didn't care about the festival, but he knew that solstice celebrations were very important in large packs, and an Alpha's absence from the hunt would leave a bad mark on his identity.
“ Oh, my dear…” Yuri said, kissing his face. “I'll tell you everything, don't worry. Where shall we start? What positions are more comfortable, like...”
“Noona, I beg you to shut up.” He said, pulling his knees up to his chest as he covered his ears. He didn't want to hear it. His wolf would destroy him when he got into a heat anyway.
“Don't worry, even if I don't tell you and you don't know anything, wolves are masters at this... Leave everything to them.” She patted him on the knee and then stepped back. “Oh, I almost forgot! Take Yoongi and come over tonight. The night before the festival, the families gather at the elders’ house and feast, it's a good way to wish for a warm and fertile winter.”
Jimin knew that traditions varied from pack to pack, and it was clear that this one was no different. The south had a colder climate than the north. The winter solstices were more important for wishes and sacrifices on altars. The hunt was a wonderful way to do this. “Okay, we'll come.”
“Taehyung and Jungkook will be there too, would you believe... They haven't been out since the wedding.”
Blushing Jimin changed the subject, “Aren't they going to the festival tomorrow?”
“Of course! Especially Jungkook won't join the hunt... Taehyung will kill him.”
This torture that lasted about half an hour seemed to end with Yuri's return home. But this time Yoongi came in with an expression like he had been slapped in the face. As Jimin stared at him, the Alpha put the packages in the kitchen and gave him a long look.
“Your coat…” Jimin said immediately. “I washed it, I don't know how, but I found it in the garden.”
Damn, he was a terrible liar and Yoongi knew it.
Blushing up to his neck, the Alpha picked up the coat in front of the fireplace and sniffed at it. Jimin's scent filled his nostrils, even if only weakly. But he still felt anger that he had washed it. ‘You should have taken care of him’ the wolf said. Do you like what you have done?
He wanted a cloak stained with his scent.
“I know what you did.” He said, unable to control himself. “I didn't ask you to wash it, I don't mind.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.” Jimin put his hand to his neck and bowed his head. “I'm going to my room.”
Yoongi rushed over and grabbed his wrist, his skin on fire. “Stop. Don't go.” The grim expression and acceptance returned to Jimin's face as he continued to stand there. This made the Alpha even more uncomfortable. His behaviour was far more frightening than his anger towards him.
He would have preferred him to needle him, to make pointed comments, but Jimin almost never resorted to that.
How was he going to help him?
“I know you're about to go into a heat.”
And all the omega's walls came crashing down. Covering his instantly softened face with his hands and shaking his head from side to side, Yoongi took the opportunity to continue. “I will help you as much as I can.”
“Is it that obvious? Has everyone understood except me?”
“What do you mean? Didn't you understand?”
“No…” He said hoarsely. “I thought my wolf was playing with me. Yuri was just here, she told me.”Gritting his teeth, he looked at the Alpha, he wasn't going to order him around. “I can handle it. I'm on my own...”
“No.” He interrupted. “You can't. And you won't.”
“You can’t force me.”
“I can't force you, but your wolf is already ready, and the heat is a time when the wolf is at the forefront. That explains why you took my coat.”
“I didn't take it!”
“Don't be stubborn, Jimin, we're married. That's what we promised each other. I can't make you suffer.”That left a bitter taste in his mouth as Jimin's searching gaze fixed on him. “But…”
Even though the change in his scent was subtle, Yoongi felt weak in front of him. He swallowed hard, his palms sweating. “No buts. We should make it easier for both of us.”
“ Won't that make it harder?” He asked sceptically. It would certainly make it harder for him. He and his soul mate would be doing things he didn't want to think about. And damn it - he'd have to hide his flowers. It was too risky. He felt a twinge of fear. “Can't I take a suppressant? I don't feel ready.”
“The healer was against it. It could make your wolf sick.”
“You told him too?”
“ wanted to know what I could do, sorry. I panicked too, I realised what was going on when I left in the morning.”
Jimin collapsed on the couch in frustration and wrapped his arm around himself. Yoongi sat down on the opposite seat, “Your fears are understandable, but what kind of Alpha am I going to be if you use suppressant herbs? This will be your first time, you should experience it.” It was a very difficult conversation to have. It felt like an invasion of the Omega's personal space. But he didn't know what to do, he had to help him.
Yoongi's understanding made the Omega suspicious. He pressed his teeth together, “I don't even know how long it will take. I don't want to do this to you.”
I don't want you to touch someone you don't love, and maybe never will.
“ I don't want to do it to you either.” He said honestly. “I don't want to touch you without your consent or desire, especially if you hate me. But we are not our wolves, we can only suppress them so far.”
Hate?
Jimin raised his eyebrows and murmured. “I don't hate you.”
“'Really?” He said eagerly.
“I'm just hurt and angry. It takes a lot more than that to hate, people hate people they love very much.”
I don't know if I love you or if I love that you're my soul mate.
“Maybe you're right. So... Do you forgive me? I didn't apologise to you properly. Let me have this conversation again.”
“Forget it, Yoongi.” He said wearily. “It won't change anything.”
“You always say that, there are things we can't just cut and run. Not without talking about it.”
“Aren't you the one who doesn't like having conversations that lead nowhere?”
Yoongi was surprised. The words that once came out of his mouth were now arrows that would shoot him. “I was wrong. Only time will tell if it leads anywhere. So... We need to talk. About everything.”
Jimin swallowed. He didn't know if he could forgive him, something inside him seemed to have died, but the regret in the Alpha's expression was real. He wanted to be understood and forgiven by him, which stunned the Omega. After that night... He never thought they would make such progress.
“I'm learning with you. I've been in a relationship before, but I've never experienced what I've experienced with you. You're the first for me. That's why... I guess that's why I am overwhelmed, I fall to my knees, but I am trying to get up Jimin, I am trying to accept this marriage, what happened that night was not about you, it was about me. When I saw the ring on your finger, I put all the blame on you, and I was completely wrong.”
He had never spoken to him for such a long time. Jimin swallowed hard, but when the time came, would he have the courage to give him the same kind of explanation? Would he be able to tell him about his flowers?
How could he? He'd told him to his face that he couldn't be his soulmate. He'd destroyed all the hope that had grown inside him.
No, he couldn't.
“I shouldn't have told you about my soulmate. I'm not looking for them, I said goodbye to them.” Yoongi paused. “ Just like you promised at the beginning, they'll never come. You can be sure of that.”
Jimin wanted to die right then and there. I stared into his painful eyes and knew nothing. Yoongi had searched for his soulmate. He'd waited for him and given him up. He had given up Jimin for Jimin.
His voice trembled as his eyes filled, he wanted to leave right now. “I'm going to get some rest. I'll wake up for diner.” He said as he stood up with his hands folded in front of him.
“Stop...” He stopped him again and handed him something wrapped in a paper bag. “I got this for you.” He said. It's fragrant for his senses. “It's good for... Omegas.”
Jimin opened the package and saw that it was a jam doughnut. It smelled so good that he almost choked back a groan, but he controlled himself and couldn't resist the urge to eat it right away, so he broke it in half and popped half of the doughnut into his mouth. He blushed as he swallowed it quickly. Yoongi was watching him. He couldn't ignore the way he was treating him like a really interesting thing. “Have some.” He said as he handed him the rest.
“I bought it for you.”
“But it's delicious.”
“Just take some off the edge.” He said as Jimin took some. Yoongi smiled as he let it pass his lips. “Sho-shi makes the most delicious buns in the pack.”
“You brought me one once at the hunting lodge and I loved it.”
“I'm glad you liked it. Did it feel good?”
“I don't know...” He said hesitantly. He hadn't been in a good mood until he'd seen the dessert, and he'd made a soul mate speech on top of it, which had upset him even more. But now he was better. Life was more worth living. He still wanted to leave. The Alpha was too nice and it creeped him out.
“Thank you.” He murmured as he crumpled up the paper bag and threw it into the fireplace. “I'd better get back to my room.”
*****
For the first time, the dinner was both eventful and uneventful.
From the moment they entered the house, all eyes were on the favourite couple. Taehyung shone brightly and Jungkook took his share of his light. When they finally left the house, the family seemed to be in an uproar, and although Dohyun grumbled at them a few times, Chaerin was her usual supportive self.
And Jimin was Jimin. The other, as always. In their eyes, the only thing that had been different since his entry into this big, splendid house was his clothes. Instead of rags, he was dressed for the occasion. Like a wealthy married Min Omega, with all the elegant jewellery he had to wear. He combed and polished his hair for a few minutes. Then he secured the strands on either side of his head with a silver-coloured stone clip at the back of his head. The emerald, a symbolic colour, had blinded Yoongi at first. But the Alpha hadn't told him that.
They sat down at the table. The first thing Jimin noticed was that there was no meat on the table. Yuri had explained to him what it meant. We have a fast on the day before the Great Hunt and there is no meat or meat products on the table. It is a belief.
“Enjoy your meal. Dohyun looked dissatisfied. “Whatever we're going to eat…”
“Come on dear, that's unfair, we have everything on our table.” Chaerin muttered. “What's the point if there's no meat?” This exchange made Jimin smile.
Yoongi had been alert and restless from the moment they arrived and Jimin was aware of it. Every time he came under this roof, it was as if someone else came out of him. They had to play their roles well in front of his family and this was the best place to do it. Jimin didn't want to wait for him to make the move. Jimin spoke while Taehyung talked about how loving Jungkook was. “He must take after Yoongi.” He said. He reached over and patted his Alpha on the shoulder and smiled warmly at him. Yoongi was stunned, not expecting him to behave so well. “My mate is also very caring, he doesn't even let me do any work at home.”
“We didn't even have time for housework, all we did was move from this bed to this sofa...”
Yuri cleared his throat, “I don't think we need to know everything, do we?”
“Is there's a stranger, honey? Dad's not even at the table.” Taehyung popped a grape into his mouth, the jewellery sparkling on his fingers and ears. “Besides, I can't wait to tell you everything.” He leaned over to Jimin who was sitting next to him, “I'll give you some tips if you want.”
Jimin couldn't keep up with him. He could never be him. While they were making love, Jimin had been scolded by Yoongi and tried to explain who he was . Who are you...
His ears rang and his face fell, but he recovered quickly and popped a slice of apple into his mouth.
“ The one who take us here was really alive, Hyung, look how happy our Omegas are.”
Looking at Jungkook out of the corner of his eye, Yoongi shook his head. He hadn't made a warm move towards Jimin since they entered the house. Jimin took his hand to the Alpha's lap as if in revenge and held it there tightly. “I'm very lucky. I know that. Nobody could ever be like Yoongi. Being married to him is like being in a dream. We're so compatible that he knows what I'm going to say before I even open my mouth. He knows what I want better than I do.”
Just like soul mates.
Yoongi had a strange look on his face but nodded, “It's been worth the wait all these years, it turns out I've been waiting for you.”
This time Jimin felt a sharp pain in his heart, the hand he had placed in his lap went cold and Yoongi felt the same. Their hands separated and Omega leaned back in his chair.
He let out a defeated breath and covered the emptiness with a few grapes.
“Taehyung, this marriage is good for you, you shine, you add beauty to your beauty.”
As the praise continued, the meal came to an end and it was time for dessert. Dohyun asked for a short break and went to Namjoon's house. There were urgent decisions to be made for tomorrow. Yuri, on the other hand, was annoyed that Taehyung was the only one being praised, so she brought up Jimin. No one else was talking to him and he was being ignored. “By the way, Jimin is getting his first heat, it'll probably happen soon, after the festival... Did you give this good news, Yoongi?”
Yoongi felt like choking. “No, Noona.”
“What?” Taehyung shouted. Chaerin smiled for the first time, really. “Yoongi... I'm so happy. People were talking about your Omega outside.”
“ What?” Yoongi snapped. “Who's talking about my Omega?”
“You know, they've heard by now that he doesn't go into heat even at his age. Omegas go into heat early, so they thought something was wrong.”
Jimin felt humiliated, but he did not give in. He was already upset enough and had no room for more. “My wolf must have been waiting for Yoongi's safe arms. It would have been terrible to go into heat without him.”
“Anyway, this is good news. It's still early, but I want my good news from both of you before the year is out.”
This time it was Jimin's turn to choke. After coughing and shaking his head, he looked at Yoongi. “It will happen when we want it to.” The Alpha finally supported him. “Don't put too much pressure on my mate, Mum.”
“Yoongi…” Chaerin said sceptically as she drank her cold compote. “You say the heat of your Omega is coming, but that's not what your scent tells me. I've heard that from others, too. You don't smell like him. You both smell so weak, is something wrong?”
It was as if she wanted it that way.
Yoongi cut her off, “No there isn't, it'll get better with time.”
Jimin didn't say anything, he didn't care, Yoongi was the one who would suffer for all this. He had already asked him to sleep in the same bed, he wouldn't do anything more.
“I hope so.” She said sceptically.
“Mum, enough. Don't you have anything else to talk about at dinner but our private lives?”
There was too much invasion of his boundaries. Fortunately his father was away so he didn't have to feel his weight on him. Still, it was a difficult evening. Just as they were finishing their drinks, his father came back in. He raised the copper soju glass in his hand, indicating that the meal was coming to an end. “Tomorrow, at sunrise, we will begin our march into the Great Forest. There will only be a handful of Alphas left, so when all the preparations are complete, I will end this meal, may God bless our pack.”
They all drank their twelve fruit drinks, which had been prepared especially for this occasion. Jimin hated the taste.
“Tomorrow you both better bring your biggest catch, don't embarrass me.”
*****
After dinner, they stayed for a few more hours. They sat on the wide sofas. The younger of the newlyweds couldn't stop touching each other. Jimin was as warm and smiling as he could be around his Alpha. Dohyun had already retired to his room for tomorrow's hunt.
Chaerin turned to them and asked, “Is Yoongi really doing all the work around the house?” It had been on her mind since dinner.
Jimin sighed, he should be ashamed, but he would be when he got home. “He wants to help me himself.”
“How come, where did you see that?”
Yoongi said, “I'm used to it, at the hunting lodge…”
“You're married now, you have an Omega. Did you marry him to decorate your house? You should cook, Jimin.” The woman sighed and fiddled with her hands in her lap. “Anyway, Taehyung's house has two Betas. Even though your house is relatively small, a Beta should come there too. You're a Min. You shouldn't be doing the work of lower class people, even if you're used to it.”
He ignored the sarcasm and looked at his Alpha. “Whatever you think is right.”
“I don't want anyone staying in my house.” The Alpha said. “It won't do us much good. Just come by twice a week to tidy up and get rid of the things that have piled up.”
“Yeah, Yoongi's right.” He agreed. He obviously couldn't handle the pressure of strange eyes staring at him all the time in this small house.
“I'll send someone.” They both had to accept this decision.
When the strong scent of Taehyung sitting next to him hit Jimin's nose, he started to feel uncomfortable. Or should he say jealousy? He was starting to think that his heat should come whenever it came. What was he missing with such an intense scent? His wolf was a little calmer today and he hoped it would stay that way. Especially tomorrow. He didn't want to be embarrassed in public when his Alpha was away from him all day. He couldn't wait until tomorrow was over.
Junhee had prepared some red tea for him when she heard the news that he was going into heat. He took a sip and looked at Taehyung. He was chirpy, always talking and kissing and smelling his Alpha. When he was caught looking at him, Taehyung asked, “Why the long face? Are you nervous about your heat?”
“No.” He said weakly. “Yoongi knows what's best for me.”
“I'll give you some tactics anyway. You might need them.”
“How many times have you been in a heat?” Taehyung wasn't even nineteen yet. But obviously his wolf was impatient and unlike Jimin, there was never a time when he didn't feel safe. Everything had gone smoothly.
Taehyung raised his eyebrows. “I've been three times, each time harder than the last.”
He grinned when Jimin gave him an anxious look. “I spent them all alone, that's why. I didn't want to take Jungkook before I married him, unlike you.”
“Instead of making me suffer…” Jimin lied back. “I don't regret being marked with Yoongi before marrying him.”
When Yoongi heard that, he lowered his eyes and thought about it, the Omega had been praising him since they came to eat, saying things about him that he didn't deserve. He almost believed the lies.
“All right.” Taehyung said discouragedly. “I prefer to feel things to the fullest, honey. Do you know Jungkook almost fainted our first night ?”
Jungkook coughed like he was choking. “Taetae, what are you saying...”
“Was it a secret?”
Luckily, Yoongi was too busy talking to his mother to hear this embarrassing conversation.
Five minutes later, the clock struck ten, and tomorrow would be a long day. Yoongi was the first to ask for permission to get up. “We'll get up early tomorrow, we'd better go. Jimin is a bit tired.”
“Don't forget to boil some of these herbs and drink them. You don't want to get into a heat without your Alpha, it will ease the pain a little.”
He bowed his head. He was flattered that Chaerin was interested in him, even though he had something else on his mind. “Of course, Chaerin-shi.”
“And we'll discuss the servant matter again.”
“Yes.”
Even though Yoongi and the two of them finally left, Taehyung and Jungkook escorted them home. As their laughter lit up the dark night, Jimin quietly walked up to them and held his Alpha's hand.
As they said their goodbyes on the way home, Jimin let go of Yoongi's hand. He then wiped away the smile that had been on his face since the evening and put his expressionless face back on.
Yoongi was also stunned. He stopped at the entrance, as if the warmth in his hand was still there. Suddenly his whole being was cut off. Jimin took off the white coat he was wearing. He threw it on the sofa and started to take off his earrings.
“ Jimin…” Yoongi said.
“Yes?
There was nothing on his face. No expectation, no hope, nothing. He looked like a man who had done his duty and retired. But the Alpha had plans for tonight, it was time. “I wanted to tell you something.”
“Tell me.”
“Everyone is talking about the weakness of our scent. My mother has noticed it too.”
“Yes.” He took off his earrings, gathered them in his palm and looked at him. He didn't ask any questions.
“I thought it would be good if we slept together...” The words caught in his throat. “And it'll calm your wolf. Instead of being marked…”
Jimin shrugged. “Sure, whatever you want. I'll leave the door to my room open. Come back when you're ready. My wolf is calm.”
Did that mean he didn't want to? Yoongi couldn't understand, he thought he had forgiven him. Maybe he had and a completely different Jimin had taken his place. What did he expect anyway? That the omega would jump into his arms at the sound of this offer, after he showed him his place?
“All right.” he said confused. “If you don't mind, I think it would be appropriate for us to sleep together from now on.”
Jimin stopped for a moment and looked at his face. “I don't mind and I don't care what people who can't smell us say, but you do. So do what you have to do.”
What could he say? He was getting what he deserved for the way he had treated him. He had no right to be angry. He shook his head vaguely and they both retired to their rooms to change.
Jimin sat on the edge of his bed for ten minutes, not moving, lost in thought. This evening had been exhausting for him. And now his Alpha was offering to sleep in the same bed with him. They were married and that was normal. But with them it was almost impossible.
He would sleep with Yoongi. It would be like that from now on and Jimin didn't trust his wolf. He swallowed hard. He took off his tunic and put on one of his long-sleeved nightgowns so that his flowers wouldn't show. That would do for now, but what about when he was in heat?
It was getting late, the fatigue of the day had taken its toll on the Omega. Fifteen minutes later he was lying on the bed. He had almost given up on Yoongi, who he thought had given up on coming. With a sigh, he rolled over onto his side. He wrapped himself in pillows that smelled exactly like him and closed his eyes.
He wouldn't come, he didn't have the courage, he didn't want to. His kindness came from regret. Yoongi was disgusted when he touched Jimin. Jimin fell asleep, thinking about all this and eating himself.
Until the wooden clock on the wall struck midnight. Then he smelled the scent filling his nose and his sharp senses felt a stirring. He opened his eyes. Yoongi was there, lying on the small armchair by the window.
He didn't say anything for a few seconds. He had come. “Yoongi…” He said in a whisper.
Yoongi turned his head to look at him, still not asleep. He had been lying here for an hour. All he did was distract himself by staring at the ceiling. His wolf wanted desperately to get into bed and to pull him close to him, to let him snuggle up against his chest.
‘Don't deprive our Omega of you. Can't you see how much he needs you?’
He didn't see. Jimin was sleeping. He didn't want to wake him.
“Why are you lying there?” he asked, unable to hide his hurt voice.
Yoongi said, “I… I didn't want to disturb you.”
“Is it comfortable? It's too small for you.”
“Not very comfortable.”
Two pairs of eyes locked, glowing in the darkness. After a few seconds, Jimin sighed and lifted the covers, inviting him in. “Come in.”
Yoongi pressed his lips together, grateful that he couldn't see his face. He called him, even though his heart was broken. “Are you...”
“Please…” Jimin said almost wearily. “Don't push it. If we're going to spend our heat together... We might as well get used to something.”
The Alpha got up softly and approached him, crawling under the light-coloured blankets. The bed was neither too wide nor too narrow, just enough for a couple. It was hard not to watch him, his face glowing in the moonlight before his eyes. Jimin swallowed, the Alpha was really sorry and sweet, no, he wasn't.
Yoongi was his only soulmate.
The one who had hurt him the most.
Sleepy eyed and vulnerable to his wolf's commands. He cuddled softly closer to Yoongi as his eyes closed. “Do you mind if I come closer?”
“No…” The Alpha said, his voice cracking. “No, no, whatever makes you comfortable.”
“My wolf... Hungry for your pheromones. That's all.” Jimin didn't just come closer. He made a crying sound and rubbed his forehead against the Alpha's chest, where he wore a black t-shirt. Yoongi held his breath. “Good night…” The Omega said as he closed his eyes. He didn't even know if he forgave him. He only knew that he needed him. And Yoongi meant what he said.
He helped him.
If only it wasn't one-sided.
“Good night…” He said in return and Jimin fell asleep.
Yoongi didn't blink in those minutes, long after he had fallen asleep. He watched the Omega lying on his chest and wondered where they were going. All the while, he followed his wolf's orders and released his pheromones. The whole room smelled like him.
Chapter 16: Hunting
Notes:
"this chapter contains concepts related to Shintoism, most of which have been modified"
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
15-"HAMBRE DEL ALMA."*
Waking up half an hour before sunrise in the morning was a challenge for Jimin, but he managed it. Even though his body was aching and he couldn't even open his eyes, his sense of duty overcame him. He got out of bed and went straight to the bathroom to wash his face and hands with ice-cold water. Unfortunately, there was no water left in the house. “Oh no...” He whimpered, devastated.
Luckily, Yoongi, who had woken up before him, came to the rescue. He hadn't slept a wink during the long night they had spent together and a few hours later, when Jimin moved away from his chest and turned to his right side, he got out of bed and went to the living room. The things he had to think about had piled up like an avalanche and Yoongi was sleep deprived. He wanted to go hunting. He was going to give his wolf control. Just the thought of it made his heart race.
“Has something happened?”
“There is no water.” Jimin lifted the copper bucket to fill it, but the Alpha stopped him. “You stay inside, I'll get some water from the well.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I'm sure. It's too cold, you can't go out like this.” He looked at him, Jimin was only wearing his long sleeve nightie. Before he could blush, the Alpha grabbed the buckets and opened the outer door. Jimin shivered in the morning breeze and ran to the fire.
He mumbled thanks when Yoongi returned five minutes later with two buckets of water. He was curious to see him carrying a package under his arm. Yoongi left one of the buckets in the bathroom and the other in the kitchen.
“What are these?” Jimin approached cautiously, what he saw was nothing more than a pile of grains and legumes.
“Kongō. It's a traditional dish. It is made by mixing the legumes and grains you see with one part goat's milk and honey. It's called a mixture in our language.
“Kanguu…” Jimin repeated, examining the speckled beans. Yoongi smiled tiredly at his little mistake, but didn't feel the need to correct him, he was already learning well. “The betas must have left them on our doorstep last night.”
“Oh, did they?”
“Yes. The Betas on duty leave a parcel for each household when the whole herd is asleep, because they don't think that everyone in the herd will be able to afford such a meal. It's a tradition.”
“That's very kind of you.”
Yoongi unscrewed the lids of the small jars of honey and milk and the fragrant aromas filled their noses. Jimin had worked up quite an appetite even this early in the morning. His puffy eyes were the only remnants of sleep. “Did you sleep well?” He asked the Alpha. He hadn't seen him when he woke up this morning and thought he had spent the whole night without sleep. Maybe it was too much for the Alpha to sleep in the same bed with him.
Yoongi poured the cereal into a bowl and reluctantly lied to him. “Yes. And you?”
“My wolf was calm, I could sleep. I think it was your scent.”
“Could be. Wolves are very sensitive to scent, especially when they're in heat.”
“Do you want me to help?” He asked, knowing he would get a negative answer. Yoongi shook his head, “It's almost ready.” He looked at the food roasting on the fire, and soon honey and milk were added to the mix, resulting in a doughy, nutritious snack with crispy edges.
“It might taste a little strange the first time, but you'll get used to it.”
Jimin also ate it for the first time. The packs he'd joined hadn't been as considerate as the Kim pack, and when a special food was eaten, no one would leave it on the doorstep of an Omega like him. “I joined a pack that celebrated the winter solstice with a little soju.” He sniffed the steaming grain. “The Ming pack!” The two said at the same time. Then the Alpha added. “They've made a name for themselves in our pack, they're known for their love of alcohol. Their Alpha was never sober.”
Jimin's stomach churned as his memories flooded back, the Ming Pack reminding him of the endless humiliations and brutal beatings he had suffered at the hands of drunken alphas. Did Yoongi have any ideas? Seeing his silence and the look on his face, the Alpha couldn't help but ask, “Does it remind you of bad things?”
“Like all packs…” Omega said absentmindedly as he tore off a piece of cereal. “I have no good memories of any of them. Except for the Kim Pack.”
Yoongi didn't know exactly what had happened, but he could imagine the worst. He gritted his teeth at the thought. Life had been unfair to this Omega, and for no good reason. He didn't think an Omega like him would ever hurt anyone, but somehow he had been kicked out of every pack. “You won't have to go through that again.” He assured him.
“I hope not.” The Omega's voice trailed off. He felt a sudden twinge in his stomach but concentrated on finishing the cereal. It didn't taste bad at all, more tasty than most things he'd ever eaten. Perhaps it was because the Alpha had prepared it. He was angry with himself. Only yesterday he had been angry, full of resentment. Today there was no feeling in him. He was neither angry with himself nor forgiving. It was a strange emptiness.
When he asked, “How do you like Kongō?” he nodded absent-mindedly and swallowed what was in his mouth. “It's good. It's a bit... different, but I like it.”
“I don't like it at all.” Yoongi confessed after barely finishing his own bite.
“I can eat it if you don't want to.” Jimin suggested shyly and the Alpha pushed the plate in front of him. “That would be fine. It's considered a sin to leave the Kongō on the plate, and thanks to you, I won't sin.”
*****
The first thing they did after dinner was to change into their ceremonial outfits. Ten minutes after the Alpha had dressed and left his room, Jimin was still standing in front of the wardrobe. Finally, he paused at the doorjamb and called out to the Alpha in the hall. “Well Yoongi... Do you have any idea what to wear on such a day?”
“I think I can organise something.” He said, hesitantly entering the Omega's room. “Do you mind if I look in your wardrobe?”
‘ Even though you won't even let me into your room? Of course.’ He thought. “Of course not.” He had taken him to his bed now. After all, it was their bedroom.
“My sister takes special care of her clothes on days like this. The solstices are very important to us. If she were here, she could help you more than I can. On spring solstices, they wear colourful clothes and flower crowns. But in winter, they prefer thicker, paler clothes.”
As Yoongi spoke, the Omega one step behind him examined him. These must have been his ceremonial clothes. He wore a draped suit of traditional thick brown fabric and tied a sash around his forehead. The same sash was tied around his waist. This was a special outfit for making offerings at the altar and visiting the temple, and the hunting clothes were much more wild looking. He put them on in the afternoon.
For ten minutes, the two of them searched the wardrobe without making any progress. Luckily, the saviour of the day was Yuri, who knocked on the door while Yoongi was struggling with the clothes. After Yoongi left the room looking relieved, Yuri hugged Jimin, who looked confused. “Would I ever forget to dress you? Especially on a day like today.” She opened the package in her hand. “Look what Hoseok made.”
Yuri explained eagerly as he looked curiously at the outfit that came out of the package. “He made it for both of us, I thought you'd like it and you know it's gift day. I wanted to give you a present. I hope you like it.” She took the ice blue piece herself and handed the rest of the cream-coloured outfit to Jimin. “Try it on. There are certain rules about what Omegas wear on their solstice. As a married Min Omega, I thought it would be appropriate for you to wear this.”
“'This... You embarrass me so much, Noona.” He didn't even have anything decent to give her in return. He had heard of the custom of exchanging gifts before. But he was still embarrassed by what he would give her after this special gift. Nevertheless, he opened the drawer and took out a box. “I bought you this... I know it's very small compared to your present...”
“You bought me a present!”
“Well... Yeah…”
Omega was stunned as she jumped on his neck, but he smiled. It was a bracelet made of blue stones called Ice Stones, which he had seen in the market and secretly bought. Yuri loved it and put it on her wrist immediately. “Thank you, Jimin. It's very beautiful. I'll never take it off.”
“I'm glad you like it.”
“My darling…” She stroked his cheek and Jimin melted at the tender touch. “My mother is also preparing a very special gift for you today, you're going to love it.”
“What?” He was shocked. “Don't joke with me.”
“I swear on Eloa!” he believed her and nagged her to tell him the secret until they left the house.
Half an hour later, they both stood in front of the mirror, ready. Just as they were checking how beautiful they were, the Alpha, who had been waiting for them for some time, grumbled from inside. “The ceremony is about to start, shall we go now?”
“Okay, five more minutes!” Yuri quickly turned to him and took his hand. “You look stunning.”
“So do you, Noona. All the Alphas are going to fall in love with you.”
He thought she would be happy to hear him say that, but he noticed a slight hurt in Yuri's eyes. Still, he couldn't ask her why, he couldn't talk to her about it. Yoongi had made such an impression on him that he was afraid to cross the line. Jimin turned and looked at himself again. At the draped suit he wore over his thick underpants, the embroidered wrists and collar with shiny threads, the soft blonde hair tied up in a tiny bun and left loose, and the elegant little pearl cap he pulled over his forehead and tied into the bun. It was as if the face he was looking at was not his own.
He looked like the handsome, married omega son of an influential, noble family. But the truth was painful. It was all clothes and titles that did not belong to him. Only last month he had been humiliated as a servant in the house of important families. And this was no fairy tale. There was a price to pay for all this. A heavy price. His soulmate didn't recognise him. The Alpha waiting inside didn't love him.
“You drifted away.”
“What?” He said, turning his head.
“Are you all right?” Yuri lowered her voice. “Are you really okay? You're not going into a heat, are you?”
“Oh, no, no.” In the morning Yuri had forced him to drink a soothing tea, and now his wolf was calmer. But his body was like jelly. He felt as tired as if he had run through the whole forest. “I'm fine, everything's fine.”
*****
When the three of them stepped out of the room in their ceremonial robes with their thick cloaks, Yoongi immediately took his place at the side of his Omega. He had avoided looking into his eyes ever since he had seen him in his new suits. When they reached the end of the path in front of the house, they saw the pack members pouring out in droves. They quickly mingled with them.
“Min's family members should be up front, let's go see Mum and Dad. Come on.”
As Yuri pulled them along, Yoongi suddenly grabbed Jimin's hand to avoid getting lost in the crowd. Jimin nibbled at his lip as his warm grip woke Jimin's wolf. But there was no time to think, they slipped through the people. The hem of his dress fluttered as they walked quickly. “How much longer are we going to walk?”
Yoongi barely heard him and stopped. “Are you tired?”
“No…” He lied. “But the hems of my dress are all muddy.”
Yoongi looked at him, not even hearing as two or three more people walked past him, greeting him. “Sorry... I was in a hurry because we were going to be late for the ceremony.”
Jimin breathed and nodded, Yuri was waiting for them in front of a house. He reached out and took his Alpha's arm. It was much colder in the early morning light and his breath was steaming. His Alpha pulled his fur scarf tightly around his face to keep out the cold. Omegas in heat tended to be cold, and so was Jimin.
They walked arm in arm and finally reached the Min House. The crowd was smaller here. They walked with the members of House Kim in the front. “My mum has something for you.”
“What?” Was it the thing Yuri mentioned this morning? He gave Yoongi a sceptical look. He nodded reassuringly. Jimin went over curiously to Chaerin who was waiting for him . Taehyung was just to her right and Chaerin was holding two parcels in her hand. There were a lot of Kim members around.
“I have to present these to you before the ceremony.” She said and called the elder Omega over. “Min Jimin, my dear son. Come here.”
Jimin stood before him with surprise in his eyes and bowed slightly. She had called him her son. It was the first time anyone had called him that after his mother. Yoongi stood right behind Jimin as he bowed. “This cloak is yours. It will be passed down from you to your children. My mother gave it to me. Take good care of it.”
Jimin felt his Alpha take the cloak from his shoulders, but he didn't look back. The cloak he was wearing was a classic winter cloak from the market. But now it was perhaps the most precious gift he had ever received. He couldn't believe it. Jimin's teeth chattered from the cold when Taehyung looked at him sideways. He bowed immediately. “Thank you, I appreciate it, Chaerin-shi.”
“Mum.” Jimin's breath caught in his throat as she corrected him. Everyone was waiting for him. He should have said Mum. He blinked his eyes and felt like crying as he said “Mum.”
Chaerin then approached the Omega and pretended to hug him, whispering into his ear. “As my eldest son's mate, I have to give you this, and I hope you'll take good care of it, even though you don't deserve it.” Jimin didn't mind, he took it as a sign of peace. He took the thick white cotton cloak with the silver fur collar and threw it over his shoulders. Chaerin tied the strings tightly. When the investiture ceremony was over, Taehyung naturally took advantage of it. Chaerin gave him the silk cloak that Dohyun had hand-made for him many years ago. It was even more precious to her.
Jimin touched the cloak that had fallen from his shoulders to the floor and couldn't stop checking its authenticity while the rest of the family started to leave. “It suits you very well.” The Alpha beside him said. He never let go of his hand. “It was a cloak that great sentimental value to my mother.”
“I'm grateful.” He said shyly. “I'm surprised, you know?” They laughed softly together. “Don't mind my mother's rough temper, she's only thinking of us. I told you you'd soon get along. But if she does or says anything to hurt you, come to me.”
He would never dream of complaining to his son about his future mother, but he nodded anyway. “I will come.”
The shrine was located just above the valley where the pack had been established, on a wet hill where ancient sakura trees grew. The path to it was narrow, rough and long. It was made of natural stone steps that someone had built many years ago. People had to line up in long rows of three to go up the hill. After half an hour, those at the front had finally reached the top. Jimin paused, gasping for breath. Everyone was silent, no one made a sound, and the snow fell in large, mesmerising flakes.
“This is it.” The Alpha said in his ear. “Ōkami Shrine.” He was more than willing to tell him all about their traditions and beliefs today. Jimin preferred to believe that he was interested because they had family members with them. That was the best way not to get hurt.
Jimin looked at the huge red painted door a metre in front of them. He had seen doors like this in many places before, but he didn't know what it meant. “What are these doors made of?”
Yoongi explained. “We call them Torii. They are made of red wood, and the people at the shrine repaint the drawings on the door every year. Torii symbolise the transition from the material to the spiritual world. You are likely to find them near Okami shrines.”
“I once went to the Inari shrine where an old monk lived, but I had never seen an Okami shrine before.”
“Inari…” Yoongi said and nodded. Inari wasn't even mentioned in this pack. It was a god believed in by the eastern packs. It was also called the Fox Spirit. He couldn't admit to himself that he wanted to know more about this sacred belief. And he was secretly jealous of Jimin. His father would be furious if he heard about this and would surely say that he had betrayed his kind.
“Yes. There were small fox figurines everywhere, you might like them.” Jimin sighed. “Maybe we'll come across them one day.”
Yoongi didn't answer and, dropping the subject, he held his Omega and passed it under the Torii. On both sides of the path were large stone statues of wolves. As they entered the sanctuary, everyone bowed slightly and saluted the unseen gods. The wooden shrine was medium-sized and had a red roof. It looked like an inaccessible place nestled among the rocks. But two of the older members were already making their way to the stone steps.
“What now?”
While Yoongi spoke to Jungkook on his right, it was Yuri who answered the Omega. She had her hands folded in front of her like everyone else.
“The oldest members of the pack will make the first offering to God Okami in the name of the pack. The second will be after the return of the hunt. They will sacrifice a hunted animal. We will hang pieces of cloth embroidered with good wishes on the shrine tree in the square after the alphas have left. As you can see, our rituals are not very complicated.”
“Is there someone in this shrine?”
“Of course there is. There is a monk who we believe has lived here for centuries. Only the big wolves who come in can see him.”
“By the way, what do you believe? You're a wolf, you must believe in Okami.”
Jimin was stunned, beliefs were not something he understood. He'd never been in a pack long enough to have a deep understanding of beliefs. Even beliefs were for people of high status. Only certain groups of people could participate in the rituals. “Not really…” He admitted, shrugging his shoulders.
“And Eloa? You don't believe in her either?”
Eloa was a sacred being, generally considered the deity of all living things. All things were born from her, and the world was created by her breath. Jimin saw her as a more inclusive and egalitarian goddess. She didn't need to be commemorated with rituals. She didn't ask for gold, precious jewellery or sacrifices. “I pray to her sometimes.” He said, bowing his head. “Does that count?”
“There has to be a sacred power that everyone believes in. Otherwise, who do we turn to when we're in trouble, and who do we rebel against?”
Jimin prayed to Yoongi. Whenever he needed help, he repeated his name like a prayer. Whenever he lost hope, his vague presence sustained him. His god was his soulmate. But he did not speak of it. That would have been unusual for the pack, bound by their traditions and beliefs.
And perhaps Yuri was right. If he reconsidered his beliefs and prayed to Okami, perhaps this great mistake could be corrected. And Yoongi would recognise him. “Can I make a wish today?” He asked.
“Of course. All Omegas will wish.”
They fell silent again and waited for the Great Wolves to return. Meanwhile, each one of them pressed their hands together in a fervent prayer. When Jimin stepped back to look around, he saw a magnificent sight. They were so high up that the territory of the pack looked like the bottom of a cliff. He tried to make out their home and failed. To his right, there were many red-leafed trees and sakuras whose names he did not know. The air in the garden was so beautiful that it tickled his insides. He could feel how deep the spirituality had become.
“You shouldn't go too far.” It was his Alpha who put both hands on his shoulders. Jimin was startled and tried to look at him, but he couldn't. Together they looked at the fascinating sight for a while. “Sorry... I was just curious about the place.”
“Do you like it?”
“Breathtaking.”
He pointed to an area below, “That house with the red roof on the right is our house.”
‘Ours.’ This time he managed to see it and nodded, Yoongi added. “I used to come here a lot when I was a kid.” He said. Jimin's heart beat faster as he thought he was opening the doors of the past to him. “Whenever I was sad, I would find myself here.”
“Did it feel good?”
“Yes…” He said. “But not any more. When we grow up, there seems to be something missing in us.” They were both silent. When there was a small movement behind them, Yoongi joined him in front of him. “Let's go back.”
Jimin tried to ignore the knot in his stomach as they held hands and silently returned to the crowd. His pheromones fluttering in response to the sudden flood of attention, he looked around. He was afraid that his pheromones had gone up the noses of the Alphas around him.
“Don't worry.” Yoongi said quickly, not noticing that he had squeezed his hand tighter. “No one but me has caught your scent. A very slight imbalance.”
“You...”
He interrupted. “It's because we're mated. We're married. That's why I can feel it.”
‘Or maybe it's because you're my soul mate.’ Jimin thought.
For the rest of the day, he could only hope that his wolf wouldn't push him. Maybe things would be easier when the Alpha was away, on the hunt. And then what? How long could he put it off? The heat would come. He couldn't stop thinking about the possible obscene scenes. It wouldn't be long now. He swallowed hard. When his palms were sweaty, he pulled his hand away and brought it together in front of him. It was agonising to think.
When everyone said their last prayers, Jimin closed his eyes. For the first time, he had another interlocutor. ‘Great Okami…’ He said. ‘Please help me. Should I consult you? Why did you curse me with flowers? Why am I the one who bears this burden? Give me light, show me the way, for I don't know where I'm going. I can't forgive my soulmate. I can't forgive my soulmate who doesn't know me. How can I tell him the truth?’
If only he had answered. Sighing and opening his eyes, the elders in their red votive aprons made their way to the precinct. They followed in the rear, humming a chant along the way, most of which Jimin could not understand because it was in an ancient language. Nevertheless, he was excited and happy to be part of this crowd. It was the first time he had had such an experience. For the first time he felt part of a family. A missing piece was being completed.
Even Yoongi accompanied the singing with his deep, low voice. Jimin couldn't help but be impressed. How long could he keep his wolf in chains? He should be angry with him. But after seeing the embarrassment in his attempts at apology and explanation, he didn't have any desire to be angry. He just didn't know. Things were not what he had imagined at all.
When Yoongi leaned into his ear and said, “It's more bearable when you join them.” He blinked quickly and nodded his head. “Ah... I'll try. But I don't know what most of the words mean.”
“Neither do I.” Jimin smiled as he admitted. He wasn't sure if he was joking. He stopped looking at him and did as he was told. His Alpha turned around in front of him, Yuri to his left, singing along to the chant like a man possessed, and for Eloa's sake, she looked stunning. His eyes searched the crowd for Namjoon. When he found him at the right end, watching Yuri just like him, he felt ashamed to be witnessing this moment.
He wanted Yuri to be happy. He didn't know Namjoon, but it was obvious that they were interested in each other. Jimin was sometimes wrong about his feelings, yes. For example about his Alpha. But that didn't change the fact that his feelings were usually right.
“Is there an Omega Namjoon is interested in?” He couldn't help but ask his Alpha.
Yoongi stopped singing and frowned. “Where did that come from?”
“He's a strong and handsome Alpha and a leader. I was wondering why he didn't get married.”
Yoongi reacted without thinking, “You find him handsome?”
“Don't you?”
“He's an Alpha.” When Jimin looked at him strangely, he closed his eyes and thought what a stupid thing he had said. Why did he feel like someone was squeezing his stomach? It wasn't that he was jealous of Jimin. He'd been a little too exposed to the scent of heat, which was why his wolf was pushing him so hard. “I mean... He's kind of handsome. So what?”
“Nothing…”
“He's an Alpha who loves his job, and he's the leader, so he can't see anything else.”
“Yeah…” He said incredulously.
“What do you know?”
“Look at him... He can't take his eyes off Yuri.” Yoongi's eyebrows furrowed even more as his dark eyes found her gaze. Jimin bit his lip to keep from laughing. He was now officially playing matchmaker. But even Yoongi had mentioned Namjoon's interest in Yuri once.
“That thing…” He grumbled unhappily. “He's praying for something that's not going to happen. He should give it up sooner rather than later. Or I'll have to get involved.” He paused. “Are you sure you don't know anything?”
“Me? No…” He said hastily. “I only shared it with you. I haven't even spoken to Yuri about it. So... Am I right in my suspicions?” Then he stopped, thinking he'd gone too far. “Have I crossed the line?”
Yoongi sighed, “Jimin…” He said desperately. “How long are you going to keep rubbing it in my face?”
“I just...”
“Can't you see I'm sorry? How about laying down your weapons?” He shrugged. “It's painful for both of us.”
“But isn't that what you really thought? How can it change in two days?”
“There are words spoken in anger. They don't have to be true. Haven't you ever looked someone in the eye and lied just to hurt them?”
His life was a lie. He hid what Yoongi needed to know, hid his truth. As he lowered his eyes to the ground, his throat tightened. The realisation of ‘how I can be mad at Yoongi’ clung to him, and he couldn't breathe. His doom was approaching and he still hadn't found a way out.
When the singing stopped, everyone was in the square, so their little argument was left unfinished. Jimin wanted to get away from him, to get some space to catch his breath. His eyes searched. The crowd was dispersing. When Jungkook came up to them, he grabbed his brother's shoulders. “Hyung, we have to set up the tent with you. I'll steal your Alpha for half an hour, Jimin.”
Jimin just nodded when his Alpha looked at him. “Good luck.”
He was also dragged along by Yuri. “Come quickly, let's choose the cloth to hang on the tree!” So they separated and went in opposite directions. The square was the site of their wedding. The wood for the big fire was laid out in the middle. On either side of it were wooden tables big enough to seat a hundred people. Jimin ran behind the Yuri. He looked back and saw Yoongi and some Alphas starting to put up a white tent.
“Get in line, quick.” Yuri led him over to where the Omegas were gathered, “I'll get some hot soup for both of us. The Betas have already cooked it. Don't lose our turn.”
“Yuri…” Before he could say anything, he was standing alone in the crowd. He crossed his arms over his chest and studied the Omegas in front of him. He was caught trying to figure out if they were married, based on how they looked and what they wore. A dark-haired Omega in an orange dress and gold earrings called out to him. “Jimin?”
“Hello.” He said with a slight bow. “Happy winter solstice.”
She giggled, “We don't say it like that.”
“I'm sorry.”
“No problem!” She looked around. “Where's Taehyung?”
“I don't know...” He said awkwardly, they must be getting on well with their beloved Taehyung. “He's around here.”
“You look so elegant.” She looked at his earrings, which he hadn't taken off since last night's dinner. “Your earrings are nice too.”
“Thank you.”
“How's your marriage going?” While they were chatting, two more Omegas joined them and soon they were crowding around Jimin. They all wondered what kind of Alpha Yoongi was. But Yoongi thought that none of the Omegas wanted to be with him. What should Jimin say? He had the feeling that he was jealous of him. Would the Omegas drool if he praised his Alpha?
“Don't worry, we won't steal your Alpha! He looks at her like a little puppy!”
“No…” He interrupted. Being the centre of attention was very reactionary. “I'm just surprised. Yoongi and I are doing fine. What about you? Aren't you married too?”
“We've been married to Jaehyun for three years. It doesn't have the same taste anymore. The other Omegas think the same. That's why we want to hear new stories from you, you're so mysterious.”
Three years? Who knows where they will be in three years.
Omega smiled, “We even had a baby. His name is Suho. Would you like to come and see him? All the married Omegas get together on Tuesdays. Most of them have children, of course.”
“I'd love to come.”
“Don't you want a baby?”
Jimin looked shocked in the direction of the question. “It's too soon.”
“That's okay. It's the best thing you can do to keep your Alpha. Especially when you have an alpha cub, you're the best mate in the world.” She giggled. “Mine had the world ahead of him. But it's been two years now and he's less and less interested.”
Jimin was horrified. But why did he feel that way? There had always been a lack of interest in their relationship. But he felt sorry for the Omegas, why couldn't love last forever?
“Yoongi doesn't want a pup yet, and neither do I.” He cut her off. “We'll have some time for ourselves.”
“Wow, I wish we were like that.”
“Is that what Taehyung thinks too?”
“I don't know…” Jimin shrugged. “I didn't ask.”
One of the Omegas handed him a piece of golden cloth, “What do you wish for? You seem to get on well with your Alpha, and no one is forcing you to have a pup. And you're a Min. God has granted you every wish.”
He just smiled. If they knew his life story, they would probably feel nothing but pity for him.
The Omegas chuckled when Yuri arrived a little later with Hoseok in her company. “Well, there's our betas. Hoseok! We've been waiting for your new hat collection.” The three of them giggled as Jimin watched them with delight and a little surprise. At the same time he drank the hot soup Yuri had brought. In other packs, Betas were excluded from social life. But here they were everywhere, and that was unusual. “Can betas marry alphas in this pack?” He asked.
Hoseok's smile faded and he pulled away from Yuri, whom he was hugging. The two of them seemed very close. He walked over to Jimin and stroked his head. “Ah... My love, our freedom is not so long. Even before the war, Betas and Alphas didn't marry very often. After all, Omegas are always the first choice of the powerful Alphas. But... Male Betas have married Omegas. Why do you ask?”
Noticing that Yuri was silent, Jimin chastised himself for not keeping his mouth shut. “Nothing. I was just curious.”
“Have you found me an Alpha mate? Or do you have a brother you're hiding from us?”
“I wish…” He said with a smile.
The conversation did not end quite as he had expected. The Omegas sewed their wishes on pieces of cloth. They hung them on the branches of the huge red-leafed shrine tree in front of them.
Jimin felt very bad, what could he wish for? He didn't know how to write. He wanted to learn right away, right at this moment. Glancing around, he touched the quill to the paper. Finally, he wrote down one of the few words he knew in the ancient language.
‘Soullmate. Renuion. Plaese.’
He was sure he had mixed up the letters. Still, it looked right to his eye. Without anyone seeing, he folded the paper and quickly sewed it together with gold cloth. As soon as it was his turn, he closed his eyes and hung his wish on the branch.
“Jimin is about to go into a heat.” Yuri explained as the three of them retreated into a secluded hollow of a tree that had been felled. “That's why he's so quiet today.”
“I sensed something strange.”
“Yuri noona…” He said, his cheeks flushing, still not finished with his soup.
“Don't be embarrassed! This is a great experience. Just don't get into a heat while your Alpha is out hunting, you'll ruin him. He won't be able to come back from the hunt and will eat himself out of regret.”
“I think Yoongi will bring a unique hunt for his Omega.”
“As long as he comes himself, that's enough.”
“Come on, push him a little. Be like Taehyung.” Hoseok chuckled. “Just now he cornered Jungkook and asked for a big sable coat.”
“That's a tenner. The sable population is almost extinct, impossible to hunt.”
“It's Jungkook, he can do it.” Hoseok said. “He's a reckless brat.”
“You're talking about my brother?”
“You're so different that sometimes I forget you're siblings.” Hoseok said in reply, and they burst out laughing.
Jimin, on the other hand, could not take his eyes off the square to their right. He watched Yoongi chatting with the old people, helping them and setting up the tents.
After about half an hour the big moment came. The Alphas had finished all the work in the square and were dressed in their hunting clothes. When Jimin returned with Yuri and Hoseok to the area where the Alphas were, Jimin's heart sank. “Are they going to hunt without transforming?”
“Of course they will transform.” Yuri said. “It's just a ceremony. Now some of the Alphas will demonstrate their strength, and there will be bow and melee competitions. Those who are successful will be given larger hunting territories.”
“I thought everyone was supposed to hunt in the same place.”
“Then there will be confusion and disagreement, the boundaries will be set first. Fortunately, our household gets one of the two largest territories every year.”
“What happens then?”
“They set off, demarcate the boundaries and pitch their tents. The hunt will start at sunset.”
Jimin was worried about Yoongi, his Alpha had seemed so out of sorts and reluctant. Maybe only he, as his soulmate, felt that.
They moved to the front of the crowd because Jungkook's sword fight would start in five minutes. He would face Hongdo, a big Alpha. Jimin looked in the direction of the Alphas and scanned Yoongi with his eyes. There he was. He had a quiver on his back with many pointed arrows in it. He also had sharp knives in a scabbard at his waist. He wore long leather boots and a hunting coat. He looked strong, as if nothing could break him. Like an Alpha.
When his eyes met the sharp eyes of the Alpha, Jimin felt his face heat up. He turned around.
If only he didn't have to go. How would a night be without him? He was used to his presence.
While he fought with his inner wolf, Jungkook had already entered the stage. He had started a fight with an older Alpha. Whenever Taehyung came near them, he immediately started a passionate cheer. “Do it for your omega, honey! I trust you completely.”
“I'm sure Jungkook will come first.” Jimin told Taehyung. The beautiful Omega looked at him as if he had just noticed him and nodded. “Of course, but Yoongi's score is also important. Don't forget to cheer for the Alpha.”
“I'll try.”
He didn't even make a sound when it was his turn. His heart was beating too fast. All he could do was pay attention and cross his hands over his chest. In addition to Jungkook's full points, Yoongi also got a full point for archery. He showed off his skill with his arrows. Taehyung shouted as everyone applauded. “Your omega prayed for you, thank him Yoongi.”
Jimin was surprised to see Taehyung standing up for him when Yoongi suddenly came to his side. “Thank you, dear.” He put his hands on his chest and brought them to his warm lips. “I hope you keep praying for the hunt.”
Jimin swallowed, “Of course…” He stammered as the Omegas around him reacted in ways that made him blush. It was hard to act when everyone was staring at him. While it had seemed easy at dinner last night, this was different. Still, he recovered well and hugged his Alpha, resting his head on his chest. Everything was easier when he was on his chest, the world around him disappeared.
Yoongi stiffened for a moment. Then he put his hand on the Omega's neck, stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.
“The second hunting ground goes to House Min.” The Alpha said in the corner, collecting points. The two separated quickly. Jimin continued to think about the kiss while the Alpha returned to his brother. Until the competition was over and it was time to leave.
When all the Alphas were gathered for the hunt, only a handful remained. The crippled, the old and those who had to protect the others. As the Omegas rushed to hug their Alphas one last time, Jimin walked over to his Alpha. He was sharpening his knife in the corner, silently waiting for the moment to leave. Obviously Yoongi did not expect from him what every Alpha expected from his Omegas. He couldn't. They were both too clueless and timid, but Jimin still remembered his duty.
“Uh... Yoongi…” When he stopped in front of him, Yoongi stood up immediately. “Jimin…” He sheathed the knife. “Did something happen?” His eyes were filled with concern. “Your heat...”
“No no-…” Jimin pressed his lips together, hating to worry the whole family with his heat. “I have something for you.”
Yoongi's eyebrows raised as he pulled a small amulet out of the pocket of his Omega cloak. It was a traditional thing. All married Omegas pinned it to their Alphas' robes before going on a hunt. It was a wish for the safe return of their Alpha. He held out the golden amulet with trembling hands, afraid he would not accept it. He felt like he would be scared no matter what he did to her now.
But Yoongi looked pleased, his face lit up. “You made me an amulet?”
“Everyone did…” He explained. “I thought it was important, I hope it works for you.”
“I... I didn't expect it to.” But he wanted to, even if he wouldn't admit it to himself. He'd been alone in that corner while every Alpha received an amulet from their Omega. Until Jimin arrived. He studied the amulet between the Omega's small hands. “Thank you. Would you like to put it on my fur?”
“Sure…” Jimin said and moved closer to the Alpha to thread the needle into his fur. The intense scent filled his nostrils and made him dizzy. Yoongi felt him lose his balance. He almost fainted when his hands touched Jimin's flowers and he reflexively put his arm around his thin waist.
But he managed to pull himself together, to keep breathing. With shaking hands he slipped the amulet into the Alpha's fur. “Are you sure you're all right?” the Alpha asked hoarsely.
“Yes.” He stepped back quickly so that the touching would stop. At the same time, he wanted it to last forever.
“Your face is pale.”
“It'll be all right.” He said quickly. “Don't mind me.” Wetting his lips with his tongue, he said, “I hope the hunt goes well. I'll be waiting for you.”
“Aren't you going to ask me for anything? How about a sable coat?”
“Just come back.” Jimin said in a low whisper. He had a nagging feeling that something was wrong. He thought the Alpha was the source of it. He raised his eyes to the Alpha. He saw Yoongi's pupils dilating slightly, excited and nervous. He could see it in his posture, his gaze, even his pheromones.
He looked like whatever was outside the door when he locked himself in his room the night they argued. Jimin felt like someone was squeezing his heart again. He couldn't breathe. “Yoongi…” He said after putting his hand to his chest and breathing in. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” The Alpha said, looking away, each of his distorted features telling a new story. “I... I should... I should probably go.”
Jimin opened and closed his mouth, unable to think of anything to say. His Alpha took one last look at him as he changed into his hunting clothes. Jungkook was waiting for him a few steps away. “No matter what kind of hunt you bring, it won't make any difference to me, so don't be too hard on yourself, okay? I'll wait for you right here where you left me.”
Yoongi gave him a long, meaningful look and for a moment Jimin thought he recognised him. For a moment it was as if God had lifted the clouds from his eyes.
But nothing happened. The Alpha shook his head, convinced that it was part of the act, but Jimin was sincere again, as always. But the Alpha would never know that.
*****
Soon after the Alphas left, the preparations for lunch started again. Just like breakfast, a hot meal would be prepared for lunch. Different products would be used to symbolise abundance. Jimin was eager to inspect the food. The experienced Omegas were cooking it in large cauldrons placed over the fire. The other Omegas scattered around like so many children. Taehyung entered his huge tent, decorated with a crowd of Omegas behind him.
Jimin did not want to rest or think. He grabbed his skirts and walked over to the old Omegas and Betas. “Can I help you with something?”
A grim-faced, white-haired Omega turned to him, looking confused. “With the betas?”
“Anything I can do.”
“Your job is to wait for your Alpha, Omega.” He said affectionately. “And pray that he has a good hunt.”
“I can see why Yoongi chose you.” The old Omega said as he helped her to carry the bucket of rice that she had been trying to carry and then poured it into the boiling water. “You're just like him.”
It seemed that everyone could see their harmony except them. As he tried to smile, Chaerin came and took his arm. “Betas can help our elders, Jimin. Come on, let's go for a walk.”
“I had nothing to do, I wanted to help.”
“Everyone should know their place in the pack. Now that you are part of the pack, you will learn to fit in. You don't have to try so hard to stand out. What more do you want? You're already a Min.”
“I am…” He said, confused. Today he had begun to think good thoughts for Chaerin. “I didn't want to be in the foreground, Chaerin-shi. I come from a place where it is considered shameful to sit around, forgive me.”
“Oh, well. You'll learn.” Jimin continued as soon as he felt the softening in her voice. “I didn't get to thank you sincerely today, for the cloak. It was a precious gift to me, and you can be sure that I will take good care of it.”
“Otherwise you will run for your life. These are family heirlooms. There are some things I have to swallow too, even if I don't think you deserve them. I did it so people wouldn't talk about my relationship with you. We have to make a good impression when we're out and about.”
Just like Yoongi, he thought. She also wants a covenant relationship. What was it with this family and emotions that needed to be felt?
Chaerin smiled as a few people passed by and reached for Jimin's cloak to pick up some imaginary powder. “It looks good on you.”
She started to pretend too.
The poor Omega was too tired to fight a four-armed battle. Yoongi's tides tired him enough, and he was already crumbling from the rough waves.
Soon after, Chaerin left him for Taehyung's tent. She told him to stay out of sight and rest, lest his heat catch up with him at his weakest moment. It would not be good if his son's spirit stayed here.
The smell of cooking soup filled his nostrils. Jimin grimaced at the sudden pain in his stomach. He pressed his hand to his stomach and ran towards the path that led to their house. It was relatively quiet and empty. He wanted to rest and not get in anyone's way. No one needed him anyway.
Before he could get home, he hid in a corner, too dizzy to take a step. As soon as he was able to grab hold of the rough, wet trunk of a beech tree, he emptied his churning stomach onto the ground. He vomited and vomited, choked and choked, but he could not relax.
If this was the heat, he didn't want it. But when had the wolves ever let him decide?
About five minutes later he sat down panting on the flat stone behind him. He fumbled in his pockets for a handkerchief. If Yoongi had been there, he would have pulled one out and given it to him. He had soiled his beautiful dress, he had to go home and clean it immediately. He wiped the tears from his eyes with his fingers.
“Handkerchief?”
He was startled to hear the voice. It was an Alpha he had never seen before. Jimin recovered quickly as he approached. The Alpha's dark hair had grown a little longer and he had a beard like someone who had not shaved for several days. His walk was limp, aided by the stick in his hand. “Did I scare you?” He asked as he stopped in front of him. When Jimin caught his scent, he didn't find it offensive, although he was disgusted by the smell of all Alphas. “No…” He blinked as the Alpha in front of him handed him his handkerchief, “I was distracted... Sorry.”
When the Alpha smiled, Jimin realised that he was young. He was older than Yoongi, but not as old as Dohyun. He had dark circles under his eyes and a tired look on his face, but he was still a handsome Alpha. “I was looking for my daughter Mao and saw you by chance... You didn't look well, so I wanted to check on you... When I realised that you were Yoongi's mate Jimin, I wanted to say hello.”
“I see…” He said confused. Was that how everyone knew him? He was no longer a poor, lonely Omega. He was now a visible person. “Thank you. I'm fine. I was just a bit tired.”
“Do you vomit when you're tired?”
He nodded slightly and the stranger didn't push him any further. “I forgot to introduce myself, please forgive me. I am Kim Seokjin. I'm the Alpha of this village. I like Yoongi very much, I wanted to see him and apologise for not being able to attend your wedding, and I wanted to meet you.”
“I didn't see you at the wedding, yes.” He confirmed.
“My daughter had a fever, I was looking after her.”
“Oh... Sorry. Is she all right now?”
“Very good…” He said, looking around. “I saw her running through the woods, she likes to make me run after her. She's just a child.”
Jimin finally made a move to take the handkerchief from the Alpha, because he needed it. He was in an embarrassing situation. “Take it, please.” The Alpha said. He wiped his lips with the light cotton handkerchief. “Thanks, I'll wash it and return it to you.”
Seokjin laughed. “No problem, you can throw it away.” Jimin had long since learned the meaning of giving away personal items like handkerchiefs. It was a sincere gesture that Alphas usually made to people they cared about. That was why Jimin looked at him hesitantly.
Seokjin, the Alpha, understood immediately. “Don't worry, Yoongi won't misunderstand when he sees the handkerchief on you. He knows me... And I'm a generation older than you.”
“I'm sorry...”
“Shall we go back?" He interrupted and Jimin stood up. His stomach still hurt and being around an Alpha made his wolf nervous. He wanted his Alpha. They started walking together, hoping that his scent and worry would not be detected.
“Mao! Where are you?” Jimin saw the girl running through the forest. She was about five years old, a cute Omega with dark hair. “I met Jimin when I was looking for you.” Seokjin explained as she hugged her father's leg.
“Jimin…” She said, looking at him shyly. “I saw you.”
Jimin smiled warmly back, “Have you?”
“You're beautiful…” The girl ran her eyes over the Omega's clothes. “Will I have clothes like this when I grow up?”
“Of course... Of course.” Looking at the Alpha, not knowing what to say, “Mao mentioned you a few times, she saw you at the market. You were a mysterious Omega from another world to all of us.” he explained.
“Where is Uncle Yoongi? Did he go hunting?”
“Yes…” Jimin said. “Do you love him?”
Mao chuckled. “Who doesn't love him? Every holiday he gives us sweets for our hard work. Once he even gave me a wooden cradle that he carved himself! I love him very much.”
Jimin was shocked by what he heard, were they talking about the Alpha he had married and lived with in the same house? He didn't want to be unfair, but this wasn't the Yoongi he knew. Maybe if he loved and knew Jimin, he would really be as good as they said he was. When his face fell, Mao continued. “You are so lucky to be his friend, everyone adores Uncle Yoongi but you have him.”
Seokjin interjected, “All right, go stand in the soup line and don't bother the elders. I'll join you soon.” After kissing her and sending her off, he turned to the Omega. “Please excuse her. Mao is already a very outspoken girl.”
Jimin chuckled, neither offended nor annoyed. “This pack treats me better than any other. On the contrary, I like it very much.”
Seokjin didn't ask him any more questions. But Jimin was curious. “Why didn't you go hunting?”
Seokjin looked over to the side of the table where a handful of Alphas were gathered. His face was drooping and hardened. Jimin realised immediately that he had gone too far. “Sorry if I crossed the line...”
“No, no, no.” He said politely. “I've never had to tell anyone because everyone in the pack knows what happened. But you're a stranger, so it's natural to be curious.”
As Mao gave them a casual wave, Seokjin took a long look at his daughter. “My daughter's mother is no longer alive. It was five years ago. The village was attacked by savages. Many people lost loved ones that dark night. I lost my right leg that night, I was badly wounded by the poisoned arrows of the savages. A crippled Alpha cannot hunt. He can't do anything, he's completely dysfunctional. The best years of my life were behind me. I had to find other things to occupy myself.”
Jimin blinked as he was taken aback by what he heard, a strange pain replacing the nausea in his stomach as a heaviness settled over him. Five years ago… The savage attack….
Whatever had happened five years ago, Yoongi had kept to himself. He hadn't come out of his shell for a long time. Until Jimin.
“I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry. I wish I hadn't brought it up.”
“It's better that you heard it from me. People still talk about me behind my back, I can see it in the way they look at me. People must feel sorry for me. But I'm up, I have a daughter. I am fine now. I'm going to do everything I can so that she doesn't have to go through what her mother went through, to prepare her for this brutal and cruel world in the best possible way.”
“Life is much harder for Omegas.” He confirmed. “I grew up as a lone Omega. I've changed packs many times. I've had to fight for my life in all of them. Life is hell if you don't know how to defend yourself.”
“As an Alpha, I'm against it.” Seokjin said in a low voice. “I hate the Omega policy of the packs. They raise them to need defence and the presence of an Alpha. They don't let them pick up a gun, they want them to know only housework and knitting, but when they lose their mates in tragic accidents like this, they don't want to see that they were the problem all along. This is madness.”
He had never seen anyone so right. Alphas were often obsessed with being the most powerful species. They would do anything to avoid sharing even a little of that power with Omegas or Betas. They even found the idea of Omegas using weapons ridiculous. In the Ming pack, there was even a heavy punishment for it. Jimin had seen too much.
“Luckily, our pack is a bit more reasonable. Namjoon's efforts cannot be ignored, he chooses the Alphas around him accordingly. Of course, there are still some rotten ones.”
“Yes, I realised that, this pack is really not like the others. Even the Omegas learning to read and write is a very good development.” He lowered his head in shame. “I know many wolf dialects, but I never learned to read or write, it was forbidden.”
“But you speak our language so well, you are obviously very talented.”
His face lit up. “Really?”
“Yes, I'm serious. You just roll a few words, that's all. It won't take you long to learn the letters, I think you'll be able to read in a few weeks.”
Jimin smiled happily, it was nice to have someone appreciate his efforts. “I would like to learn one day. I'm a married Omega now. With Yoongi at work all day, I don't have much to do. I want to be useful.”
Everyone expected him to sit at home like a doll, or get together with the Omegas to chat and do crafts. But he felt he should be doing something useful.
“Dad! Aren't you coming?”
Seokjin shrugged. “I better go back to my daughter. I enjoyed talking to you, Jimin, it was nice to meet you. I'd like to talk to you about this in more detail.” He smiled at him. “I live in the white house at the end of the market. Come with Yoongi one day.”
“I hope so, Alpha Seokjin.” He said as he bowed respectfully. “See you soon.”
*****
As evening fell on the area between the mountains, Jimin went to the fancy tent. In addition to Taehyung and his mother, there were a few other people in the tent that had been specially set up for the Kim household. Jimin had looked in the tent as a last resort when he couldn't find Yuri. But now he knew that he couldn't just walk out. As soon as Rina saw him, she waved and called him over. Jimin had to take off his shoes and enter the tent, which was carpeted and lit by gas lamps. He took a deep breath as he sat down on the cushion that the glamorously dressed Omega had indicated to him. It had been a long and tiring day. All he wanted to do was crawl into his warm bed and sleep.
He mumbled a thank you when one of the betas handed him a hot winter tea.
“How are you Jimin, I hear you're starting to going into heat.”
He blushed. “Yes, Rina-shi. News travels fast in this pack, it seems.”
“I am no stranger.” She said as she raised her drink to her red lips. “I want to help you, not interfere in your personal life.”
He didn't mean to snap at her, and how dare he? “That's very kind of you, thanks Rina-shi. I really appreciate it. But I'm fine, I'm just waiting for my Alpha to return.”
“Have you started to vomit? Nausea?”
He looked around as if looking for a hole to escape. “I threw up a bit today.”
“Then you're almost there. Vomiting is one of the worst symptoms. Does your wolf want to nest?”
He looked away, not sure what that meant. “I think so.”
“It's unfortunate that it came during the hunting season, but you can make it until tomorrow.” Jimin's eyes suddenly filled with tears as she squeezed his hand tenderly. Why was he so moved? “I believe in you, don't be afraid, it's not a pain you can't overcome. Your Alpha will take good care of you when he comes back. He's a very good Alpha.”
“Not as good as Jungkook.” Taehyung interjected, who had overheard the conversation. “Yoongi is okay too, of course.”
The mother gave her son a stern look. But no warning came out of her mouth in the seconds that followed. She explained, turning back to the older boy, “Drinking the tea I offered you might calm your wolf down a bit. Don't worry about what the pack says. Sometimes our wolf knows what's best for us, and your wolf must have been waiting for Yoongi and his safe arms.”
“Yes…” It was a fact and Rina had hit the nail on the head.
He nodded shyly and drank all of his tea. His hands were sweaty, it was suddenly very hot in there. He squeezed his knees together. He tried to distract himself, to think of something else. Rina came to his aid again. “By the way, you look wonderful, you've recovered a lot since you've been here. Your hair looks great too.”
“Thank you so much. You're very kind.”
They were distracted when Taehyung let out a loud sigh. “When are the Alphas coming, I have no strength left. What if something happens to my love?”
“You can't say that.” Said his mother. “They're all very good hunters. They'll be back in the morning. Why are you stressing?”
“I don't like being without him.” The Omega sneered.
“He can't be with you all the time, Taehyung, how about giving the Alpha some space?
“No way…” He frowned. “I'll lock him in the house as soon as he arrives.” Then his eyes fell on Jimin. “How can you be so calm? I'd set the place on fire. How about pushing your Alpha a little? When he comes, you should spoil him, make him crawl. Don't let him see you as easy prey. Marriage is like hunting.”
“I'll keep that in mind.” Jimin said softly. He had the feeling that he and Taehyung were a lot further along than he and Yoongi had been since the beginning of their relationship. At least Taehyung didn't ignore him anymore or was able to form sentences without sarcasm.
After about an hour, they ate their evening meal of vegetables and grains at the rectangular tables set up around the fire like everyone else. A few alphas in the pack kept an eye on the surroundings, just in case. Everyone was safe and happy. Children ran around the fire, Omegas laughed and whispered. The sound of cutlery mixed with their laughter echoed in Jimin's ears. His wolf's voice rang out.
We need the Alpha's scent. We need him.
He swallowed the food he chewed with difficulty, nothing could pass down his throat. He wanted more than anything to see his Alpha break through the darkness and out of the forest, but he had a sinking feeling in his gut.
Yuri, who was beside him, nudged him and he came to. “Is everything okay?”
“Yoongi's fine, right?”
The young Beta chuckled. “Great Eloa. Of course he's fine, aren't you Taehyung? Just a simple hunt, your Alpha will be here tomorrow.”
He was just not feeling well.
It must be his wolf, he thought and believed. His inner distress was the work of his vicious wolf, who was about to go into a heat.
When the snow stopped falling for a few hours, the Omegas continued the tradition. They gathered around the great fire, forming a large circle. In the front row were a few older Omegas. Yuri said they were great storytellers. As exhausted as Jimin felt, he couldn't end the night here and leave. He was also curious. So he sat down between Hoseok and Yuri, leaned against them and waited.
“What happens now?”
“My favourite part of the solstices…” Hoseok said eagerly. “It is the only time when all species are equal. Everyone can listen to the legends that are passed from tongue to tongue.”
“Legends…” He repeated.
“Yes. These two old Omegas, you'll love listening to the stories they tell. And try to remember. One day, when you are old, you can tell these stories to your grandchildren by the fire.”
*****
(YOONGI)
“Come on Hyung, where is your head?” The next sword stroke narrowly missed Yoongi. Jungkook was relentless and used the gap to pin his brother between himself and the sword.
“Okay, you won Kook, leave me alone now.”
“You're a buzzkill!” Jungkook whined, sheathing his sword and sighing.
Yoongi didn't know where his mind was going, he was lost in it. Probably his wolf wanted to be in the hut with Jimin. That's why he was acting like this. Still... There was something about hunting ceremonies that he hated. It made him want to run away.
He patted Jungkook's shoulder, he had to make it up to him. His brother had been looking forward to this day. “Let's try again. I promise I won't drift off this time.”
“No.”
“Hey, Kookie, do you want to hurt your brother's feelings?”
“Don't call me that.” He grumbled and sat down in a hollow tree to sharpen his knife. It was a habit he inherited from his brother. Everything he did was cool to him and he wanted to be his shadow.
Yoongi sighed after sitting down next to him. “My mind was distracted by Jimin.” It wasn't a lie and it was a good excuse. “If he gets into a heat and I can't be there for him...”
“Okay, I won't force you.”
“I'm sorry, Kook.”
“Now that you have a mate, you'll think of him more than of me, of course.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Don't be silly!”
Yoongi smiled slightly. In the back, the two betas were busy setting up the hunting tent. They had refused the young alphas' pleas for help. Their fathers were off in who knows where. At sunset they would turn around and hunt in the designated areas. It wasn't the hunting that bothered him the most, not even his father.
It was the turning. Turning and giving all control to a wolf he didn't know. Just because it lived inside him didn't mean he recognised it. He was just like Jimin. Like a part of him he couldn't control. He didn't even talk about his fox, that was a mystery in itself.
It was like hell not knowing who he was.
*****
The two brothers had no choice but to follow their father, who suggested, “Let's have a look around before we turn back. So they walked deeper into the forest.” Their father led the way, with Yoongi and Jungkook one step behind.
The silence was intense. It was less than half an hour before the sun went down completely. The area they had been given was the largest and richest in prey, they would have a lot of space and a chance for a rare catch. Jungkook was ambitious, he would not return without a sable for his omega. Yoongi wasn't sure, Jimin hadn't asked him for anything in particular. He would do whatever his wolf wanted.
His house was one of the two houses that always hunted the best and rarest prey. Besides Jungkook, there were other alphas in the house who were good at it. But now most of them had died and it was up to them to take over. Yoongi was also good at hunting. Although he never considered himself good at it, everyone said so. He had shot a big spotted deer a few times and a sable once. Back then, Jungkook had praised him as a legendary hunter.
“Yoongi” His father said suddenly. “Do you see that?” He spoke in a very low voice. His blood ran cold as he looked at the area he was pointing to behind the bushes.
A fox.
He couldn't say anything, his face went white.
His father was in a good mood. “While you develop your human skills, how about hunting an animal? Let's see how good your archery is.”
“A fox…” He whispered through his teeth. “You want me to hunt a fox.”
When Dohyun looked at him, Yoongi knew what that look was without seeing it. A huge disappointment.
His teeth clenched, his jaw tensed. The arrows in his back felt like they were sinking into his skin. He could do it. He could prove it. Whatever he hadn't been able to prove all these years... He could turn it all around.
Jungkook came up to them. “How about doing what your brother couldn't, Kook? Hunt a fox . Show them what it means to trespass on our territory.”
“It's been a long time since I've seen a fox around here.” Jungkook said with a restless voice. “Hyung, are you all-“
Without letting him finish his sentence, Yoongi grabbed an arrow from his back with a quick movement. He took up a position between two trees. A moment later, the beating of his heart echoed in his ears.
A fox.
The worst thing that had ever happened to him.
He could have killed it.
He tried to concentrate as if his life depended on it. The fox hadn't noticed them. It was just wagging its furry tail as it walked carelessly over the dried leaves.
Like a prey that knew it was being hunted and enjoyed it.
Yoongi blinked as his vision blurred, the knuckles holding the arrow turning white.
A split second image flashed before his eyes. Memories crackled, his breath tightened.
He couldn't do it.
He had to.
He drew the bow tighter until his arm leaned back, holding his breath.
The fox raised its head and looked straight at him, right into his eyes, yellow eyes like his. Only him.
‘Run away!’
‘Kill me. Kill me if you have to.’
Three, two, one…
Yoongi felt like he was going to faint. His fingers, which were tightening the bow, couldn't stand the pressure any longer. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. He couldn't kill one of his own. He couldn't do that to them, he couldn't betray his kind.
He was a wolf, but he wasn't just any wolf.
As he lowered his arrow and stepped back, he began to breathe heavily. Everything was coming at him. He couldn't bear to make eye contact with his father. He heard Jungkook touching him, calling to him. He was worried.
He had to run.
“Damn incompetent! Coward, you failed again. You couldn't kill it.”
“Dad, come on, you asked him not to kill his own kind!”
“He's a wolf! If he's not a wolf, he has no place in this pack, he can go live with the foxes! Damn it!”
Yoongi took a few steps back, his vision still blurred. When he came to a path, he ignored his brother's call.
He threw down his bow and ran deeper into the dark forest. Until he came to an area a little out of the way, not very fertile in terms of hunting. Between the dense trees, the entrance to a cave caught his eye. He wanted to shut himself in here and hide forever. If only he could hug someone right now.
He was out of breath from running for half an hour. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he collapsed on the cold floor of the cave.
He had failed, but he had no regrets.
Looking into the fox's eyes made him feel things he had never felt before. He was dead and alive in a single glance.
He curled up in a corner of the cold cave without even trying to take his clothes off. He took a fetal position, wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes. He didn't want to hunt. He did not want to hunt a fox. He didn't want to go back. He didn't even want to understand what the weight on his chest meant. He was tired of everything.
Jimin... Jimin. The last picture that flashed before his eyes was of him.
*****
Before dawn, only four hours after he had fallen asleep, he suddenly opened his eyes.
He had heard a voice, he was sure of it. Quietly, he got up, drew his knife and moved towards the moonlit cave entrance.
Just then he saw that the animal he had heard was a fox, looking straight at him in the darkness. For a moment he thought he was dreaming, but it was real. It was the same fox. The fox that he had been trying to hunt down had found him. Why had it found him?
It must have known that Yoongi was a fox and didn't judge him. It was grateful to him. This was unbelievable.
Sighing, the Alpha collapsed exhausted at the entrance of the cave. But the fox didn't go away, he came closer. It was careful, but sure of its steps. It never took its eyes off the Alpha.
It was so beautiful.
The most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Its bright red feathers, its eyes like fire, even in the moonlight it looked breathtaking. It was forbidden, a sin for him.
After a moment the fox came closer, even rubbing its wet nose against his hand. It must have been thanking him. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Yoongi looked puzzled and lifted his fingers to the fox's fur, stroking its back.
The fox held out for a few seconds. Suddenly it recoiled and made a strange, high-pitched sound. A call. It took a few steps, turned and looked back at the Alpha.
‘Come.’
‘Follow me.’
What did Yoongi have to lose? What did he have to lose if he couldn't find himself?
He did as he was told. He was so busy that he hadn't even noticed that he'd left his weapons in the cave. They walked for several minutes. When the fox finally stopped, it took one last look at the Alpha and then disappeared in the blink of an eye.
Yoongi was trying to make sense of what had happened when he noticed movement to his right, on the river path. He turned his head to look.
A bear with white fur. One of the rarest prey…
His breath caught in his throat. He had no weapon in his hand. He had courage. The Fox had brought him here. To the most barren of all lands.
It was no accident. He had to hunt it.
His transformation was so easy that he didn't even have time to be surprised. His bag was tossed aside. In a matter of seconds, at a distance of fifty metres from a white bear, he transformed into a wolf with red-brown fur and lost control.
Now it was just the wolf and the white bear This fight could have been fatal. It was undoubtedly a very dangerous and exhausting hunt, but the wolf was brave. Much braver than him.
Brave enough to take on a pack of prey alone. He should have given his Omega the fur of that beautiful animal. His Omega deserved the best.
He had to get back to it as quickly as possible.
And without a second thought, the wolf pounced on the white bear, twice his size. It knew exactly what to do, exactly where to sink its teeth. His wolf was a much better hunter than he was. So much so that he sometimes envied it. Despite what his father had put him through all these years, the wolf had never once bowed.
A wolf would never bow.
The white bear staggered from side to side to get rid of the wolf on top of it, a growl escaping its throat, and for the next few minutes it struggled with the wolf. So much so that when it swung its big paw at the wolf's weakest point, its eye, the wolf groaned in pain but would not let go. As its fur became soaked with blood from the wound in its eye, the wolf was able to sink its fangs into the bear's throat. It was the killing blow, the bite into the animal's jugular vein. The whole place was covered in blood.
The white bear struggled one last time, moaning as it fell to the ground with a loud crash. The forest groaned as the snow that had accumulated on the trees fell to the ground. The wolf, panting, did not pull his teeth from the thick skin of the white bear until he was sure that the white bear was dead. One last weak breath, one last struggle.
The white bear was dead.
The wolf let go of the animal after scanning the area with its eyes, satisfied that there was no danger. The light was coming. It had to present its prey to its Omega now. Omega would love it. The animal's thick, white fur would keep him warm on cold winter days. For a while it just stared at the white bear, a hoarse growl coming from its throat, exhausted from the fight, but there was no time to rest.
When it heard the sound of another wolf in the distance, its ears pricked up and it took notice. In his wolf form, there was no way that it could carry a bear all the way to the territory.
“Hyung!”
It was Jungkook.
Yoongi had to get out. The wolf accepted his cooperation and let him go. When he changed back into his human form, Yoongi looked around as if he had just woken up from a dream. There was his bag a short distance away. Fortunately, he had the presence of mind to grab it. He was naked and freezing. Shivering, he looked in the direction of the white bear after pulling on his undershirt and trousers.
They had hunted a bear.
And his wolf had given him back control without any problems. His head aching, Yoongi bent down beside the bear and stroked its fur. The animal's eyes were still open, but its skin was getting cold. He had to take it with him. The only way he knew how to move it was to rope it up or get a few people to help. As he tied the thick rope from his bag to the animal, a voice came from behind him.
“Hyung! For the sake of Eloa.” When the voice stopped, Yoongi turned to him absent-mindedly, his brother looking at him in shock.
Dohyun and a few others were there. They were all watching him, all with the same look in their eyes.
He had hunted a white bear in the wasteland, all by himself.
The fox had helped him, he would never say that out loud.
“You…” Jungkook said as he approached him. “What have you done?”
“Do you think it would be a good hunt for Jimin?” He asked absent-mindedly, his face still pale.
“This is the rarest prey ever hunted.” Jungkook said as he shook him. Suddenly his eyes widened. “Your eye. You're hurt, Hyung.”
At that moment Yoongi noticed his blood dripping from his face onto the floor, white snow. The smell was pungent. He put his finger to his eye and wiped it, nothing serious. There was a small scratch on his shoulder. It had been a hard fight. So hard that Yoongi thought he would be trapped inside the wolf forever.
“Let's go, it's time to go back.” Jungkook threw his own cloak over him. “You had us so worried. We've been looking for you for hours.”
Yoongi didn't speak, but bent down and tried to lift the bear. “You can't carry it alone. It's at least four hundred kilos.”
He tried anyway.
*****
Half an hour later, they emerged from the depths of the forest and reached the clearing. They could see the fire still burning in the clearing. Yoongi quickened his pace. The one who hunted the biggest prey went first. Yoongi… Behind him were his brother and Kim Namjoon, his father was in the back row. He hadn't said a word to him since he'd seen him hunting the white bear. Yoongi didn't care.
He had to get to his omega.
“I have to clean the animal's fur.” He muttered to himself.
“That would take a long time…” Namjoon said. “You should give it to the fur masters.”
“I'll do it myself.” He said firmly. The smell and dominance was so overwhelming that even Namjoon couldn't resist. It was as if Yoongi had become someone else.
When they finally arrived at the square, they found all the Omegas waiting for them. Yuri and Taehyung were the first. As Omega ran and hugged his mate, Yoongi's eyes kept searching for his Omega. Where was he? Had something happened? He was hunting a bear for him. Why didn't he come?
His sister hugged him tightly. “You're hurt, Yoongi.” She said tenderly. “Are you all right?” Everyone around them was talking about the animal he had hunted, a moment later they were singing his praises. The crowd choked him as he took a breath and looked at his sister, his eyes searching. “My Omega... Where is he?”
Yuri grabbed him and pulled him through the crowd. “Jimin is not well.” She pressed her lips together. “He needs you so much. He couldn't even come to see you, he collapsed last night, I stayed with him but I couldn't stop him from suffering. You have to go to him.”
Yoongi's ears buzzed, he had to get his prey. He pulled it through the crowd as the rope cut his palms, it was only a few minutes home. He could carry the loot.
“Leave it to us...”
“Yoongi!”
He didn't hear a word. Five minutes later he was standing in front of the house with the hunted white bear. He was out of breath and miserable. He was hurt. He couldn't face it like this. He looked hesitantly at the animal lying at his feet.
His head was spinning as Jimin's scent intensified. The dominance of his wolf must have been going on inside him, he didn't feel well at all. He let go of the rope and threw himself into the house. He followed the scent, his steps shaky. The door to Jimin's room was open and he could hear the faint moaning of the Omega from the inside.
And that smell… It was like nothing he had ever smelled before.
He opened the door wide and looked inside. It was like looking at a forbidden painting, but he couldn't take his eyes off it.
His Omega was lying in the middle of the mountain of clothes he had piled on the bed. He was smearing his own scent all over the pieces of cloth and moaning weakly. His long hair was dishevelled. His cheeks were flushed and he had a needy look on his face.
Yoongi swallowed hard, stunned as if he had been slapped.
Jimin looked up from his clothes when he realised he had arrived. The scent of his Alpha was close. “Yoongi…” He said, blinking. “You're back…” A tearful sob escaped his throat. “My Alpha…”
Notes:
*(esp) hunger of the soul
I hope you've enjoyed the chapter.
yooongiiiiaahh omfg 🫣 see you next chapter!! 🥵 Jiminie is goin into heat yessss!!
remember leave kudos and comment!! 💖
Chapter 17: Heat
Summary:
"This is Ren. Also known as the flower of betrayal. It symbolises purity, spiritual enlightenment and rebirth. The scent is wonderful, but as useful as the essence of the flower is, the thorns and leaves that surround it are poisonous. If not used properly, they can bring down a wolf in minutes. Even a bear. You have to handle it with care and caution.”
Just like Jimin…"
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
16. "I see my reflection in your eyes. (tell me you see it too)"
(Last Night)
I tried to listen to the legends that were told around the campfire and that everyone waited to hear, I tried to concentrate, to listen curiously like everyone else, but I couldn't bear to hurt. My stomach was turning. My heart was squeezing my chest as if it wanted to burst out of my chest. I wished it would stop there.
I could already feel the wetness between my legs. My scent must have seeped into every corner by now, the pain in my groin was relentless. I grimaced and put a hand on Hoseok's shoulder. He turned quickly to look at me, worried. If he could smell, he would have realised the urgency of the situation.
“Hoseok, I…” I couldn't even finish. I turned around again. Just then my vision blurred and I could see someone coming towards me. Yoongi. Yoongi, where are you...
I needed him so much. I didn't know what to do. My wolf wanted to kill me. Was that what the heat was like?
“Jimin? Oh my God! Let's get him out of here right now.” I barely opened my eyes when someone shook me. I was lying on the ground in the snow, surrounded by worried Omegas.
“Jimin, are you okay?”
“Of course he's not okay Yuri-sshi, what a stupid question. Move aside.” The owner of the voice that had just touched my face said. “We can't let the Alphas touch him.”
I saw the worried green eyes of Taehyung's mother, Rina-sshi. Someone was holding my hand. “We have to move him, Taehyung.”
“Okay, Mum. I'll do it, we can't leave him like this in the Alphas' arms...”
Even though I was in heat, I was still surprised. My eyes widened because what I heard was real. Taehyung grabbed my knees and waist. He started to carry me with quick and determined steps. I didn't even have time to be surprised that he was such a strong Omega. Or perhaps I was too small.
The hood on his head was slipping slightly from his black curly hair. His smoky eye make-up was running from the sweat. He looked ragged. I blinked and parted my lips to thank him. “Taehyung, I...”
“Shh, okay. Don't overdo it. You're fine.”
Yuri walked beside us. “I'll stay with him tonight, we can't contact Yoongi. I'll boil the tea I got from the healer to calm him down.”
“What kind of Alpha is he, for Eloa's sake?” He snapped. “The Omega would have died if I hadn't been there.”
“Don't exaggerate.” Yuri said this time.
“Do you have any idea what he smells like?” He snapped. “Even my nostrils flared. What if there were savages around?”
“You're very thoughtful tonight, I'm surprised.”
“I just don't want another wildling attack, that's all. I don't want any trouble because of him.” He looked at my face for a moment, out of the corner of his eye.
“You were no different when you first came into heat.”
The two of them bickered for a while longer, occasionally throwing questions at me, and I could only nod in agreement.
“When will Yoongi be back?” I asked five minutes later as they entered the house and left me in my bed. I wasn't tired, no. I wanted more. I wanted attention, I wanted to be touched. I wanted my Alpha.
“In the morning, dear.” Yuri said reassuringly as she pulled the covers over me. “If you go to sleep now, your Alpha will be with you when you wake up.”
“Really?” My eyes widened in anticipation and my lips parted. For the first time, it was as if there had been an opening in me and the soul I had been hiding for twenty years was on the way out. Tonight I was going to meet my wolf for the first time. I was very, very scared, but also impatient. I pressed my knees together and made a face. “I don't know what to do...”
Yuri sat down at the end of the bed and touched my face. “I'll get you Yoongi's clothes.” Taehyung said. He walked around the house in his red tulle suit. “The smell of them will last you until tomorrow.”
“What am I going to do with them?”
“Your wolf will know what to do.”
I didn't want them, Yoongi would be angry. I stopped just as I was about to tell Taehyung, who couldn't find any of my Alpha's things in my room, not to go into the Alpha's room. He was part of the family too. He could have gone in. I was the only one who wasn't family. Taehyung returned with the clothes on his lap as I bowed in resentful silence. I sat up as soon as I smelled the increasing scent. I growled in a low voice as I realised that my Alpha's scent was all over the Omega. My mind went blank, I couldn't even see what was in front of me.
Taehyung stopped and frowned, I didn't even realise what I was doing but I couldn't stop myself. “Don't touch them.” I said through clenched teeth. “Give them to me. Give me my Alpha's things now.”
Yuri was stunned and quickly picked them up and placed them in front of me. “Taehyung!” She scolded. “Don't touch them! And you talk like you know so much.”
“Do I still have a brain?” He snapped. “You can do whatever you want.” He walked to the door and looked at me for the last time. “You can do it with your fingers... Well, for a while. Good luck with that. I'm going back to the square. Let me know if anything happens, Yuri-sshi.”
After he left, I just stared at the place Taehyung had left with the clothes in my lap. It wasn't that I didn't know anything. I had even met Omegas who had been prostitutes in the past and had to listen to their strange stories, but still... This was a completely different experience. I had a mate who didn't know me and didn't love me, who only used me for his ambitions. How could I behave comfortably?
My wolf, on the other hand, was waiting for the right time to pounce on the Alpha. So much so that I didn't know what to do when Yoongi came. What if I did something to offend him?
I blushed as Yuri watched me with worried eyes. “Go back to the square Noona, I'm fine.”
“No way. Forget it.”
She had to go. It would have been unfortunate to lose myself in her company. I had to find a way to hide my flowers while I was still well and conscious. “Well... Okay. Then you go and get some rest, Noona. Shall I prepare upstairs for you? I haven't finished decorating it yet, but...”
Noona shoved my shoulder onto the bed as I tried to get up. “You're not getting out of bed, Min Jimin. I'm going to curl up in front of the fireplace. Don't worry about me, am I a stranger?”
That's right. She wasn't a stranger.
“Good night, I shouldn't tire you any more. If you need anything, just call me.”
“Thank you…” I nodded my head gently and kept a strong expression on my face until she left. As soon as she closed the door and walked away, I threw myself onto the bed.
But it was impossible for me to concentrate. I started to gnaw at my nails. My groin hurt again from the smell of Alpha in my clothes. I made a tearful face and threw the Alpha's clothes in the corner. I regretted it immediately afterwards. I hugged them carefully as if my life depended on them.
“What should I do?” “Tell me, what should I do, Omega?” I whispered to my wolf. It didn't talk to me much, and I didn't know how to communicate with it. No one had taught me, while everyone else had been trained years ago. Besides, I had never been in heat, life was just beginning for me.
I rubbed my nose against the checked shirt Alpha often wore. I wrapped myself in it, but it wasn't enough. I wanted to bathe in his scent. I don't know if it was the heat, but I could smell him more clearly now. It was like everything I needed, a breeze from the forest, a breeze from the lake, the unique smell of the earth when it is raining... But most of all it was like peace... It was just right for my mate. It was not like the other alphas, it was not one of those scents that made my nostrils hurt, that made me feel uncomfortable and that made me want to throw up. It was light and warm.
I had to get rid of what I was wearing. I stood up quickly and tore the strings off the dress my Noona had bought for me. My mind went back and forth. I was indecisive and hesitant, but all I knew was that I shouldn't be in these clothes. When I was left wearing only a small pair of classic underwear, the kind Omegas wear, I looked at how I looked in the mirror. I looked over my shoulder at my flowers. They were on fire. Physically. I ran my fingers over the small cluster of blue flowers. They had healed and even blossomed since the last time I'd seen them. As long as Yoongi didn't try to kill them again.
How painful it was to know that everything depended on him and not be able to take any steps. It was like death.
When my eyes filled with tears, I went to the bed and put on my Alpha's shirt. When I took it, I calmed down immediately. I was fine. I wanted to smell like him.
The flowers…
He shouldn't have seen them.
I put my hands over my eyes, pulled my knees up and sobbed. “What should I do, tell me something…”
‘Don't be afraid, I know what's best for you…’
I looked to both sides, startled by the sound I heard. The voice was coming from inside me, from my soul. My wolf. My other half. Tears came to my eyes, I was not alone, I had it. “W-what am I going to do?”
‘Trust me. It's going to be Okay.’
“How?”
'...'
Our brief conversation seemed to be over. I spent the rest of the night toggling back and forth between my wolf and myself. I felt lost and distant, like I was looking at myself from the outside. It was something I had never experienced before. I was more at peace with my Alpha's possessions. I couldn't imagine taking a step away from them. I crawled into the little pile of clothes I'd made and started begging Eloa to make the aching in my groin go away.
‘ How about touching yourself? With your fingers. It'll calm us down, trust me.’
It was back, I let out a little scream. I felt terrible pressure, my fingers were shaking and dizzy, the world was spinning around me. I shook my head from side to side and buried my face in my clothes. I moaned in muffled embarrassment as I felt my underwear soaking through. I couldn't go any further with Yuri here, how could I face her later?
“Oh God…” I said breathlessly. “Save me…”
‘Your God is your Alpha.’
“No! I can't make him do this. I can't. Yoongi doesn't want to touch me.”
‘You think so, he's crazy about you.’
I found the strength to laugh. My wolf was a liar. After a while, my body was so tired that my wolf allowed me to fall into a short but nightmarish sleep. I dreamed I was running through a dark forest, sharp branches scratching my skin and tears of fear running from my eyes. I was tired of having the same dream over and over again. I felt something running behind me, I felt its breath on my neck. It was a nightmare that had caught me at my most vulnerable moment.
I woke up drenched in sweat, gasping for breath, with Yuri beside me. She was the one holding my hand. “Jimin…” She said, meeting my questioning gaze. “You seem to be having a hard time, love.”
“Nightmare…” I swallowed. “I had a nightmare.”
“It's almost morning, I'll go to the square and get Yoongi, you can handle it alone, right? Don't go out. I'll lock the door anyway.”
“I won't…” I said in a daze. I didn't understand why she said that, I fixed my questioning eyes on her. “But I wanted to greet him, isn't that my duty?”
She smiled, her eyes were puffy, she must not have slept. “Yoongi will kick all of our asses if you go out like this.”
“Oh...” I blushed, she was talking about my scent. Even though I was a married Omega, I was vulnerable. I was an open target for the packless Alphas that roamed the precinct. I couldn't put myself or the pack at risk.
“You're almost there, darling, you're doing very well.” She wiped my forehead with a white handkerchief, I must have been really miserable because she had a look of pity on her face. Once again I felt like a lost, desolate idiot, those looks were familiar. But there was someone holding my hand. I had a family, even if it was half-assed. And people who cared about me. “Thank you, Noona, I'm glad you're here.”
“Oh Jiminie...” She said something more into the depressed air and disappeared from sight after squeezing my hand again. I closed my eyes again. I had a feeling my Alpha was on his way.
My Alpha... My soul mate.
*****
(Yoongi)
When Jimin saw me, tears began to roll down his flushed cheeks. My wolf was still very much alive somewhere inside me and insisted that I take good care of him. And I would. If I regretted it, it would be me, but I wasn't going to let him down. It was a miracle that he even looked at me after all the ugly things I had done and said. I couldn't take that away from him.
We were married, no matter what. I was his mate and his alpha. Who else did he have but me? Who else would he go to?
Why did something inside me break when he called me his alpha? Why did my heart speed up?
Before I had a chance to think, Jimin got out of bed and ran to me with shaky steps. To his alpha… It was a small shock to see one of my favourite shirts on him, but my wolf must have liked it so much that it growled loudly inside me.
‘ Look how good he looks, bathed in our scent.’
He looked beautiful. Just like a defenceless, tasty prey…
I wet my lips with my tongue. And when Jimin stood in front of me with his trembling scrawny body, I let myself go. I didn't know how long it would last, and I didn't know how much I would be affected by it. I didn't know anything. It was the first time I'd ever been with an Omega in heat. I was as inexperienced as he was. But my wolf was as dominant and bold as ever.
I put my hands against his warm cheeks to wipe the tears from his eyes, and after wiping the hot tears with my thumbs, I brought my face close to his face. “I'm here, Jimin.” My wolf was almost whipping me to say it, so I added. “My Omega…”
And Jimin started to cry even more. “I waited for you for so long…” He sobbed. “I'm in so much pain, I couldn't stand it. I failed... Forgive me. I couldn't come to greet you.”
Which one was speaking? I was stunned. I was meeting his wolf for the first time. “Come here…” I said in a muffled voice as I pulled his small body towards me and pressed him against me. He rested his head on my shoulder and breathed. I hadn't quite found myself after the hunt and then I lost myself again. Quick images flashed before my eyes. The hunt, the fox, a white bear.
“It's all right…” I tried to calm Jimin as he shivered on my shoulder. “You're fine, I don't blame you for anything.”
“But...”
“No buts…” Jimin shivered like a bird and when he pulled away, the look I met wasn't his. The warm brown of his eyes had long since given way to the colour of heat I was experiencing for the first time. I was stunned, his eyes were like fire, it was as if I was looking at myself, our eye colours were very similar, but he had something else in them.
Warm, indecisive, inviting and fierce at the same time. I could read him like a book.
As my heart squeezed, Jimin came closer to my face and lowered his eyes to my lips, I saw his hungry gaze. His full lips were parted and wet. He wanted to kiss me. I knew I had to avoid that moment, not even my wolf could convince me.
“What did you hunt for me?” he asked and I breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he'd raised his gaze to my face again and changed the subject.
“Want to see?”
“What? Is ıt here?” Jimin backed away quickly, the complex pheromones emanating from him making me shiver and feel dizzy, very, very pungent, mixing with my scent in an amazing harmony. His wolf must have known what it was doing. I was distracted as my eyes travelled down to his bare legs. “Y-yes. It's here. Outside.”
Jimin suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me outside. “I want to see it, where is it? What did you hunt for me? A deer?”
I couldn't help but grin, I never thought Jimin would expect something like that, but now I was glad I had hunted a bear. I was proud of myself. When I let him pull me to the outside door, I unlocked the door and let Jimin see the bear I had piled right in front of the porch.
Omega's eyes widened in surprise. After a moment he turned to me. “You... A... A white bear… he added, putting his hand to his lips. “This is a very rare bear... A rare hunt…”
“Do you like it?”
“Like it! I love it.” I was stunned again when he suddenly jumped on my neck. It was undoubtedly his wolf who did it, but it was hard not to be impressed. For the first time, no one was around and we were touching without pretense. It felt forbidden. “You hunted a rare prey for me... For your Omega…” He smiled cheerfully as his long eyelashes fluttered.
“Was it worthy prey to you?” I asked as I wrapped my arm around his waist.
A storm raged inside me. When he stepped back as if I had touched fire, Jimin did the same and stepped away from me, his eyes wide. At that moment I seemed to see the old Jimin, then his gaze changed again.
I couldn't understand what had happened and I didn't have time. Omega slipped out, barefoot and wearing only my shirt, stepped into the snowdrifts, and cuddled up next to the white bear, hugging him. He didn't look cold at all. After a few seconds of watching him in shock, as if hypnotized, I quickly took off my own fur coat and ran to him. “You're going to catch a cold.” I said, leaning down next to Omega with his head on the bear's back. “You can't go out like that.”
“It's beautiful... It's mine, only mine…” He murmured in delight. “I want to make a fur coat out of it, and a blanket... And a rug…” I gritted my teeth as he nuzzled into the fur, not knowing if I liked how much he loved it, or if I was jealous of a dead bear. I threw my furry hunting cloak over Omega's bare shoulder, the shirt slung over one shoulder. “Let's go inside, Jimin.”
Omega growled in reply, wrapping his arms around the bear tighter. “Let's stay here.”
“I'm afraid we can't.”
“I said let's stay here.” I felt my wolf's anger as he closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.
‘How about a little dominance, you fool?’
“All right…” I gritted my teeth and hugged the Omega. He had become one with the bear without question. Jimin opened his eyes and looked at me in surprise. I held him tighter to keep him from running away, my fingers burning along his bare legs. “Did you kill it for me?” He asked seductively as sparks flew from his eyes. “For your Omega?”
“Yes…” I said, careful not to look at him. I didn't know how to deal with a completely different side of him. And if I followed my wolf, I would be doomed, so how could I control the situation? My wolf seemed to have been waiting for this moment since the day it was breathed into him.
“Alpha…” He pleaded. “Should we take it inside?”
“Of course not.”
“But I want it to...”
“Enough.” As I looked directly into his eyes, his warlike gaze softened. Had I been too harsh? Had I offended him? Who was I talking to? “Wait for me here.” I said after putting Omega's warm body back on the bed, covered with my clothes. “I'll be right back.”
I had just turned around when I heard him say, “Don't leave me alone.”
“I promise I'll be right back” I muttered without looking at him. It was really hard to resist him. It was the first time it was so hard. But even though it was hard, I had to get dressed and clean up a bit. The wound on my shoulder was strained from lifting Jimin and started to bleed. I also had to look after my eye. I didn't want to be completely out of shape in front of him. I wanted to be a worthy mate and give him the attention he deserved. At least I owed him that. And that was what I wanted. This was another fact that left me stunned. Something inside me had changed with Jimin's entry into my life. When I entered the cold bathroom and took off my jacket, Jimin came in. Our eyes met at that moment.
“You're bleeding…” He said, lowering his stunned gaze to my shoulder as I turned to face him. I had made my wound too obvious to hide. “God, you're hurt!” I was startled when his hand went to my cheek this time. His touch was unexpected, warm and tender. “Your eye... Yoongi, you, I... I didn't realise...”
Which one was that? Would his wolf call me Yoongi? Which one was worried about me? I gently grabbed his wrist, “I'm fine, it's nothing.”
“Did the bear do this?”
“Yes.”
“What about your shoulder?” I looked away and his eyes darkened. “I'm sure it must have been hard to take the bear out alone... What if something had happened to you?”
“I'm here safe and sound. Come on Jimin… Go back to the room, it's pretty cold in here.”
“Yoongi, let me help you.” He looked up, shaking but not giving up, “I can do it. That's what my w-wolf wants. Please.”
“Jimin…” I said sceptically. The transitions between the two puzzled me. Sometimes his look was so strange that I thought I was with someone else. But at the same time I felt as if I had known him since birth. Although I didn't even know Jimin, I was used to him. His absence made his presence even more noticeable. “Am I talking to your wolf?”
Jimin blushed up to his neck in embarrassment, “Is it that bad?”
“No, no, no… I just wanted to know. It's the first time I'm face to face with an Omega's wolf. Please excuse me.” Being as polite as possible was the first rule I remembered.
As he lowered his head to the ground, a long lock of hair fell onto his shoulder. His hair was still the same as when I left him yesterday, but the braids were a bit distorted. “It's new for me too, it's hard to control... I don't know what to do... I apologise in advance.”
“No, no, no…” I interjected. “You're doing fine, don't apologise. It's normal... I mean, it should be, right?”
“I suppose…” He couldn't look at me. Five minutes ago he was a different person. “Your wolf really liked the bear I hunted.”
“Yes..” He said in what felt like a heartbeat. “You did very well... But I didn't ask you for anything. You were hurt because of me.”
I think I preferred his wolf at the time. “Jimin. It's just a little scratch. And you didn't even ask me for the prey... It was my decision to hunt it.”
“It's the kind of scratch that will scar your eye, your mum will be very upset.” After rummaging through the cupboard and finding a white handkerchief, he moistened it and stood on his tiptoes to reach my eye. “Let me clean it up.”
I realised now that he was the kind of man who would do whatever he set his mind to. I bowed and nodded my head slightly. “Okay, good.”
“Does it hurt a lot?” He asked quietly, pressing the end of the handkerchief against the vertical bloody cut that ran from above my eyebrow to below my eye. Fortunately my eye was unharmed, the bear's strong claw had grazed it. In a way, I was lucky. If my eye had been damaged, I would have been a half Alpha, and I was already lacking enough.
“No…” I said, looking at him. “It doesn't hurt.”
He fixed his colour-changed eyes intently on my wound, even holding his breath. It was impossible not to be surprised that he was thinking of me even in this state. He had put his own pain on the back burner. “The colour of your eyes…” I said in a husky voice. “So beautiful.”
Suddenly his hand slipped and the handkerchief got in my eyes. When I flinched he lost his balance. “I'm so sorry...”
“It's all right…” I cut him off, he shouldn't apologise so easily. “Did I surprise you? I know I'm not exactly the complimenting alpha type...”
He averted his gaze. I could tell he was clenching his teeth, he must have been holding his wolf. His scent was tense. I couldn't make sense of it, I just wanted to compliment him. “Omegas have different coloured eyes. They're not like Alphas.” He explained quickly. But I thought he liked my compliment.
“They look like mine, now I'll feel less lonely.”
Jimin's face contorted at first. Then he stopped cleaning my wound and his jaw tensed. “Shall we have a look at your shoulder?” As his fingers gripped the collar of my tunic, I knew from his grip that he was slipping away. His crimson eyes flashed like flames. I wasn't sure if all Omegas had such sudden and violent changes in their heat or if it was just Jimin's. But I made a mental note to ask the healer. “Let me heal you, Alpha.”
I had just parted my lips to reply when his warm hand closed over my cheek. I stiffened as he caressed my skin. I couldn't say I didn't like it. No… I had to admit it. I needed to be touched as much as he did. I'd made myself suffer for years and I'd come to the end of the road.
God knows I was so afraid that things would go wrong, that I would regret it and make him regret.
He must have noticed that I was trembling under his touch because his lower lip curled down and with his free hand he slowly began to untie the cotton threads of my tunic. We were silent until the only sound in the room was my irregular breathing.
Why was I so excited? No, it wasn't right. I shouldn't have let myself go. When all the ropes down to my stomach were untied, a cold breeze seeped in through the gaps. At that moment, Jimin tore the linen cloth in half and placed both of his hands on my abs. Even though I couldn't see it, I could feel my muscles tense and tremble. I couldn't take my eyes off the Omegas who never stopped staring at me. “Jimin…” I was about to say when he shook his head from side to side. “Call me ‘My Omega. ’ Say that the Omega will heal you, that it will take care of you.”
I'd never been in a room with an Omega in heat before. I'd run away from them. I'd disappoint them, just like I'd done with Hyuna. My face crumpled at the unpleasant memory and Jimin knew immediately that something was wrong. His face dropped. “Why are you distracted? Don't you want me to touch you?” His voice trailed off and his lips trembled slightly. “Do you disgust me? Have I crossed the line by touching you?”
Shit. Shit. Shit… He felt it and he should have kicked the shit out of me. I had a wolf on my hands, I couldn't underestimate it. I had to be careful. I had to be able to handle it or it would only cause pain to Jimin who was trapped out there somewhere. Obviously his wolf held a grudge because of what I said a few days ago. I wish I could say it was wrong, I was the one who crossed the line that night, if I could go back, I would have done everything differently.
“No… I like it when you touch me.” I said, grabbing his slender wrist as he tried to pull his hand away from my chest. “Go on. Heal your Alpha.”
“Liar...”
“I swear to the Gods…” I tried to convince him. I must have looked pathetic. I put my logic aside and wrapped my arm around his waist. My fingers tightened on his wrist. He gasped as his chest hit mine. “Don't you believe your Alpha?”
‘Show him who we are. That's it. Don't let him get away.’
Jimin didn't seem impressed until I tightened my grip on his waist. He held his breath and his eyes flickered shut as his pheromones flooded my nose. A soft moan escaped his lips. I was stunned to see his trembling knees pressed together and the glistening omega slick running down between his legs.
Shit. This was madness.
Before I realised what was happening, I grabbed him around the waist and sat him down on the wooden linen cupboard in the bathroom. I pinned him between me and the wall. It was all too much… The emotions demanding to be felt were too much… Jimin's red eyes grew bigger and fiercer. He tried to pull my tunic off, as if to get rid of it, and I let him. In a few seconds the tunic was on the floor and I was half naked in front of him.
I could feel the hot blood flowing from my wound towards my chest as my muscles trembled with the breeze coming in from outside.
Jimin had noticed it too. Just as I was about to tell him not to worry, the Omega leaned down to my wound and rubbed his hot tongue over the trickle of blood that reached my nipple. He then sucked on my skin. “I want everything from you…” He said in a low voice. His eyes never left mine. “Give me everything.”
Was I dying or was this an erotic dream?
What had happened to Jimin? It was more than I could stand. My wolf broke through the imaginary walls, desperate to get out. I was going crazy myself. “Did I surprise you, Alpha?” He asked in a defiant voice. As he asked, I came to my senses. I grabbed his chin and wiped the blood from the corner of his lip with my thumb. “You're like a bloodthirsty wolf. I like that.” If he wanted to play, we'd play.
He grinned and frowned. His eyes going to another part of my chest. I knew what he was looking at. He was pointing his index finger at a small spot on the left side of my chest. I'd had it since I was born. A small, indistinct thing that covered a small part of my chest. It was insignificant. “It's...” He said, without taking his eyes off the spot. He seemed impressed.
“It's just a birthmark. Don't worry about it. I'm not wounded through the heart.”
He laughed and didn't dwell on it. After a moment he started following the drops of blood towards my chest. “Are you going to stop the blood or shall I use the same method?”
He was even desperate for my blood. I smiled half-heartedly. “Don't tire your mouth already…” I fumbled in one of the cupboards and found a clean cloth, tore it into a small strip. The wound was light, but it was slow to scab as I moved, which prevented us. He never took his hands off my chest for a moment as I tried to tie the strip to the wound that ran from my shoulder to my upper arm. He kept touching and stimulating my wolf. My head was about to explode. “Fuck! Help me…” I groaned when I couldn't tie the bandage. “I couldn't do it alone.”
Jimin laughed shamelessly. “Sure.”
Who the hell was I talking to? He unlocked remote places in me I'd never known. I wanted to go wild. I wanted to make him cry and beg. I felt the weight of volcanoes inside me.
When he leaned over and whispered, “You're too hard on yourself…” I almost apologised. “You make me want to keep you in a locked box.”
When I turned to face him, I saw his lips. They were so beautiful and full that it was incredible that I had never dreamed of them before. As our eyes locked, my heart skipped a beat and I lost my balance. “Don't ever get hurt again.”
“I'll try not to.”
“Promise me…” My arm tightened as he took the two strips between his fingers and pulled on them, tender and weak, but strong… “Promise me, Alpha. Promise me you won't die.”
“Die? Don't be silly... It was just a hunt.” I said reassuringly. We both liked the fact that he was so worried about me, it made us both swell in our seats.
But Jimin gave me a short, meaningful look. As if what I had said was a complete lie. “What?” I said. “Don't you trust me?”
I was stunned when he shrugged and went back to bandaging my wound. His secrets were impossible to crack. It was as if every look told a thousand stories. Every word meant something different.
“There you go…”
“That'll do…” I said, nodding and looking at my bandage. I stopped hiding it when he noticed my hands trembling slightly. He must have thought me as a coward.
When his hand went down to my chest again, caressing my hardening muscles, he said, “I want you... I want you more than anything…” He murmured and closed his lips on my nipple again, torturing my skin for a while. It didn't take long for my vision to blur and overwhelm me. Damn it. Was I the one in heat? I exhaled. Fixing my hands on either side of the locker, I lowered my head, which was starting to feel heavy. “Tired already? We haven't even started...” He grabbed my neck and pulled me against his warm chest. “Am I making you tired, Alpha?”
I almost passed out from the caresses he left on the hairs of my neck. But I couldn't stay on his cosy chest when what came out of his mouth made my wolf angry.
‘You're acting like an Omega Yoongi, get out of my way.’
I quickly stepped back and looked him in the eye. “Your provocations don't work on me. You must have learned that.”
“What do you know about me? You've never been in heat with an Omega before and I can easily destroy your boundaries...” He tilted his head with a half smile and looked down at my crotch, “That's not what that says at all... You're already ready. And so am I…” He said as he spread his knees wide and hooked his fingers into the waistband of my trousers. “Shall we start?”
“You obviously don't know anything about me either.”
“If only you knew, Alpha…”
“Knew what?” I asked as I planted a kiss under his chin and on his warm neck. I felt an overwhelming desire to know him in every detail. “Tell me what I don't know.”
He didn't answer, so I continued to place small, harmless kisses on his neck. The heat of his skin burned my tongue. He tasted good… And seductive. When I paused just below his ear, next to the scent gland, a growl escaped his throat and he raked his nails over my bare back. He threw back his neck and offered himself completely to me. Just looking at him made me feel as if I had entered a forbidden oasis, it excited me. His appearance was too suggestive and seductive. “Mark me…” He murmured after a moment. “Give me your knot... And your mark… I want it all. Then I'll tell you everything...”
I paused with my tongue on the scent gland, “So you want a deal. What else? What else can I give you?”
“A pup…" He sobbed helplessly as he grabbed my neck and pressed me against him. “Please…”
I thought I might be able to embarrass him a little and break down his barriers, but there was no sign of the Jimin I knew. I stepped back. A mischievous grin appearing on his face as he tilted his head slightly and lowered the hand resting on my wrist to his crotch. His shirt came off, exposing his dark underwear, and I swallowed hard, feeling like I was being chased. “I want to feel you in the furthest corners of me… I want a pup.. I want your knot...” His lip pursed. “You'll give me your knot, won't you?”
Fuck.
I couldn't compete with him. It would be the hardest task in the world to resist when he looked at me like that, asking me for such obscene things. I wet my lips and tried to buy time, trying to imagine what a negative answer would lead to, like he might kill me if I didn't give him what he wanted. He shivered as another wave of cold air came through the window. We couldn't continue here, in a cold bathroom, I couldn't risk making him sick. “Come here. Let's go to our room...”
He remained unresponsive, so I picked him up in my arms, he was wrapped tightly around my body like a vine. I grabbed his bare legs, wrapped around either side of my waist, and led him to his room. “I thought you weren't coming in here?” He asked with a sad face. “Why did you break into my room?”
I stopped at the doorjamb and looked at him, he was clever… “Don't you want me to come in?”
“You promised not to. That day...” He sniffled as if he had cried. “But you Alphas... You never keep your promises. You're just like them.”
“Do you know any others?” He tilted his neck back and looked at me, smiling. “Would you like it if I did? If I had a past like you...”
“I don't have a past.” I snapped. God, I couldn't believe the wolf was questioning me. They were both deeply hurt by what had happened. I had to deal with it before it got out of hand. I was ridiculous. I'd killed a big bear a few hours ago and now I was losing to an Omega. “Your eyes tell the story…” He said, and I was stunned. “Don't fool us.”
“If that's the case…” I tightened my grip. I wasn't going to be outdone. I wouldn't go into his room if he didn't want me to. Maybe this was my chance to prove something to him. “Will you take me to your room?” He asked, sucking lightly on my neck, “I will…” I said. “I'll take you to my room.”
“To the Alpha's den... That temple I'm forbidden to enter? And then you'll regret it and snap at me? Will you make me cry again?”
I gritted my teeth. He was provoking me. “From now on, I will only make you cry with pleasure.” I said, looking into his eyes. “Okay? Promise me you won't bring it up again.”
“Are you angry?”
“It makes me sad.”
“It made me sad too…” He said, pursing his lips and leaning his forehead against my chest. I frowned, I'd been a big jerk. We backed out of his room and took five big steps into my own room. It was the first time I'd ever brought an Omega into my Alpha den, which consisted of a large leather chair in the corner, a large woven rug, two large bookcases, a walnut desk, a fur-covered mattress in the corner. It was big enough for a lone Alpha.
Once we were inside, in my dark room, Jimin lifted his eyes and looked around curiously. It wasn't as if he couldn't believe I was doing this, but as if he was celebrating his victory. “I can't wait to fill this place with my own pheromones.”
“Do what you want.”
I let go of Jimin when he tried to get off my lap, and when his tight grip on my neck ended, he spun around. He was wearing only a small pair of panties and my brown shirt down to his knees… He looked very seductive, glistening even in the dim light inside. “It's so dark in there.” He said, pursing his lips.
“Don't open it.” I ordered as he walked over to the window. It was overcast today, even though it was daylight, but I didn't like the sunlight coming into my room. And now I would never allow it.
Jimin touched the curtain and rubbed his cheek against his shoulder, “If I open it…”
“I'd have to stop you.”
“Why?”
“I don't want anyone to see my Omega like this.”
“Liar...”
In a few big steps I was right next to him, leaning my arm against the window. “Why do you always call me that? I may be careless and rude, but lying is not one of my characteristics.”
He smiled calmly, then ducked under my arm when I thought I had him pinned. I grabbed his waist before he could get too far. “Come here…” He let out a small, happy squeal. “I'm ticklish, Alpha!”
“Yeah? Good.” As I lifted him up with no difficulty and set him down on the right side of the bed, he immediately rolled over onto his back, put his hands over his face, and continued to laugh. Just as I reached up to grab his shirt and his waist, he stopped and looked at me in horror. “Stop!”
“What?” I immediately backed away, fear instantly coursing through my body. “What happened?”
After covering himself with his shirt, he sat leaning against the headboard of the bed. His mind had gone away and come back. Was this how when I was in heat? I always locked myself in the hunting cabin and didn't let anyone in, so I had no witnesses. “Did I hurt you?” I asked, looking at his knee, scarred from that night.
“No…”
“Then what?”
He swallowed. “I'm... A little…” He lowered his eyes. “A little embarrassed.”
I let out a breath as relief spread through my body like warmth. “God, Jimin… You scared me.”
He still didn't look at me, so I got serious. “What do you want me to do to make you feel better?” I asked in an understanding voice. “I know... We haven't had a chance to talk about it properly, but I told you when we decided to get married that I would help you. That I wouldn't shy away from it. I still feel the same way.”
He wrapped his arms around himself. He wasn't comfortable. “Yes, but... I've never done this before. I'm scared.”
I sat back on the bed and moved away from him so he'd be comfortable. “If you're really uncomfortable... I won't touch you. But we're married, Jimin.”
“Yeah, but... Forcing you to...”
“Don't go on.” I snapped. “You're not forcing me to do anything. If I was in the same situation, wouldn't you help me? Do you think I'm just going to walk out on you? That I'll stop helping you in your time of need?” I frowned. “Besides, you looked like you wanted it so much just now.”
“My wolf wants so much, so badly... I can't control it.”
“The heat is for the wolves. We can't control them. You'll only hurt yourself.” I shrugged, I didn't want him to think I was just doing this to please him. “I want to be with you too. Isn't that what all married couples do?”
“Oh…” He looked sweet as his cheeks flushed. “Really?”
“Yes, really.” When it took me a few minutes to convince him, he nodded his head uneasily. “Well... can you turn off the lights?”
“The lights? Of course.” I didn't even ask why. I got up quickly and extinguished the gas lamps burning in their little compartments in the wall. “Can I light the fireplace? You'll catch a cold.”
When he nodded his head, I quickly threw some logs into the fireplace and returned to him. I felt as if I had two people in my bed at the same time. How different from the Omega of before, full of shame and doubt. He was afraid. When it got dark inside, the only source of light was the fire in the fireplace. I sat next to Jimin, his bare skin glowing divinely. I was still half naked and his eyes were on my abs.
“I won't touch you until you calm down.” I promised. “I'll just sit here like this.”
Jimin smiled slightly, his eyes pale, and we both leaned against the headboard and sat there half-naked for a while.
“You brought me to your room.”
“Yes, I did. In case you don't remember, it was my decision.”
“Was it?” He was confused.
“I wanted to. I wanted this unpleasant issue between us to be over.”
He swallowed as he lowered his eyes to my naked chest again. When I reached for his hand, he slowly lifted it and placed it in my palm. “You can touch me…” I said softly. “You can do whatever you want. Don't hold back, Jimin. You have to release your wolf so that it can return to you without any problem...”
He murmured when I said his name and shivered when I pressed his hand to my heart. “I won't hurt you. Your wolf trusts me, doesn't it?”
“A lot…” He said. His eyes were on our joined hands. After a moment he began to run his hand over my burning skin. It was as if we were starting all over again.
I didn't want to disappoint him, I didn't want him to regret marrying me, choosing me... He had fought so hard all these years, I wanted to greet him like a legendary warrior and give him the peace he deserved for the rest of his life.
“You're warm...” He swallowed. His eyes darkened again. Perhaps my words had done him good. “Your skin is like a burning flame.”
“You should see yourself…” I murmured as his lip curled and our eyes met. There was nothing there but regret. For what? “Ah...Yoongi…” He said, his voice breaking. Another state of depression, the reason for which I couldn't understand. When I pulled him towards me, he didn't resist and sat on my crotch with his legs spread wide. He was light, but still very impressive.
“It's all right…”
A sob escaped his throat and I stroked his back as he buried his face in my bare chest and breathed there for a while. He still hadn't undressed for some reason. “Ssh…” I stroked the tufts of long blonde hair that fell down his back as he let go, each contact burning another bridge in me.
I used to think that my wolf couldn't get along with anyone, that being a fox hybrid had cursed my life and that I didn't deserve to be mated with anyone.
Jimin didn't even care who I was. He just accepted it and did what no one else had ever done.
As he rubbed his nose against the sensitive spot under my ear, my thoughts were interrupted and I was shaken. It was the first time anyone had touched my scent gland and it felt like volcanoes had erupted in my chest. A million moments flashed before my eyes and I gasped for breath. When his soft lips touched the same spot this time, I growled hoarsely.
“Mhmm... You smell so good…” He paused. “Do you like it? Because I do.”
“You look like you want to mark me.”
This time he rubbed his teeth against my unprotected skin. I didn't push him away. Any other Alpha would have. I was half Alpha, as my father said… That was the reason the Omegas ran away from me. But Jimin didn't run away. “Would you punish me if I did?”
I half-laughed as I leaned my head back against the headboard and let my hands fall to my sides. “Did you punish me, when I marked you?”
He must have been pleased with the answer he heard. He chuckled and lost control of his wolf again. I only noticed it through his insistent fingers on my skin. It was a great chance to witness an Omega's first encounter with his other self.
“You're not like the others.”
“That's the first time I've heard that.” I scoffed as the omega's tongue brushed against my scent gland, sucking on my skin, and for a few seconds I was transported to another realm. He was marking me.
I didn't stop him.
“You smell so... nice, I can't stand it.” I felt I had to put an end to this as he left red marks on my neck that I knew would bruise tomorrow. I grabbed Omega by the waist, turned him around and climbed on top of him. My heart pounded as he looked at me through the sheets with his big, beautiful eyes. The thought of what I was going to do to him drove my wolf mad.
‘Mark him. He's crazy about this.’
“Yoongi-Alpha…” He said and wrapped his arms around my neck. “I want to look into your eyes, I want to make love to you like this. You will respect my wishes, won't you?”
“Of course, Jimin.”
“Tell me that I'm your Omega.”
I would. As I leaned down and buried myself in his neck, he tilted his head back and groaned, holding me close. “Say it... Mark me… Make me yours...”
I had his scent on me, a huge fire inside me. “My Omega... You already belong to me.” I whispered as I rubbed my nose against the scent gland left on the unfinished seal mark.
He hiccupped and hugged me tighter, I thought my bones would break but I liked it. I started to unbutton his shirt with one hand while I rubbed my teeth lightly, releasing my scent onto him.
The healer's words echoed in my mind. An Omega's scent could only be clearly identified after the first heat, and only then could the pheromones be expressed. It was the heat itself that made the flowers that formed the pheromones bloom. It was the Alpha who watered them and made them smell. It was me.
When I reached the bottom button, Jimin lifted his eyes to mine. Without taking my eyes off his flickering reddish-orange pupils, I slipped his shirt off his shoulders and removed it completely, tossing it aside. He shivered slightly, his quince hair standing on end, as I walked over to him and took in the view. It was like a forbidden painting, and if there had to be the sinner, it would be me. Still, I didn't look him too long, and it wasn't bright enough inside to reveal all the details.
“I'm ready for you…” He purred like a cat as he tried to rub his knees together. I gritted my teeth. His mischievous hands traced a naughty path from his stomach to his groin, pausing when they reached between his legs. “Don't you want to see?”
I couldn't adapt to his wolf. Only my wolf seemed to be able to cope. But I couldn't let it go, not now. I couldn't even think of leaving Jimin alone with a hungry wolf when he hardly trusted me.
The hand that had been waiting between his legs soon slipped under his underwear and, after playing with himself for a while, removed his fingers that were wet with his Omega slick. He kept his eyes on me as he moaned hoarsely and brought his own slick to his lips and sucked on it. “Don't you want to taste me? Mhm... very tasty.”
Shit. Gods help me.
As my stomach clenched, I hooked my fingers into the edging of his underwear and slid them down to his knees and over his slender ankles.
What a mesmerising sight it was. His skin was smooth from head to toe and a few strands of blond hair stood out at his groin. I wanted to leave no part of his body untouched. To ruin him, to make him cry, to consume him... It was too hard to be patient. I wasn't sure if I would have felt the same way if it had been another Omega in front of me. I had no one to compare myself to, and I didn't want to.
I moved my fingers from his slender ankles to his legs, from his legs to his crotch, slowly stroking his skin. He was shaking and whimpering all the time. I leaned over him and planted a kiss on the edge of his navel, and soon I was running my tongue over his erect brown nipple. As he moaned again, one of my hands gently caressed his hips. How untouched he was...
I could now understand why Alphas had such a weakness for Omegas… Wild thoughts invading my mind…
I kissed his skin for minutes, then, remembering that I'd promised to look into his eyes, I rose over him, the bruises on his scent gland already turning red, and that wasn't the only thing. His skin was so sensitive it flushed and reacted to the slightest touch. “Alpha…” He said with difficulty. “Kiss me.”
I froze.
It was hard to ignore his lips reaching for mine, but I couldn't. Kissing had always been closely associated with love for me and I was a man of my word. My wolf cursed, but I couldn't help it. Trying to ignore him, I sent two fingers between his legs, circling his already soaked entrance. Immediately, his waist lifted and the Omega moaned in need. As rebellious and seductive as he was in the bathroom, he was just as docile in my bed. It was as if his wolf had realised that this was Jimin's first time and was protecting him. As if it was holding itself back.
And if that was the case, I was grateful to it. If only I'd known…
After I had spread his knees with both hands, I drew us into a long foreplay, just to watch his reactions beter. Was the faster the better? I wasn't sure. I wanted him to get the most pleasure out of it. I wanted it to be special. I couldn't be rough and sloppy with him. I'd done enough of that when I was mated to him.
I pushed my index finger inside first and met with tight walls. He hadn't relaxed enough. As the walls squeezed my finger I found myself fantasising about being inside him… Wanted to sink into him… I swallowed hard and felt dizzy. “Relax…” I said. “You've got to help me.”
“Mhm... Harder...” His head fell helplessly to the side as he sobbed. He tugged at my hair, hurting me as I leaned down and began to kiss the scent gland I had marked. I moaned hoarsely. He must have liked it because his penis started to leak and his body started to shake. As I slid a second finger into his entrance and pushed it in, he began to relax and I continued to prepare him rhythmically. He was hot, tight and the walls pressing against my fingers were unbearable.
I felt like I was going to pass out as I started to smell the first hints of his scent that came with the heat. Jimin shuddered again as I pulled my teeth away from his skin and quickened the movement of my fingers. “I'm close...” He moaned again.”I-I'll come... Alpha-“
When I quickly pulled my fingers out without letting him come, he burst into tears. His penis had grown and started to leak. I quickly stood over him and unbuckled my belt. I slipped out of the dirty trousers I'd worn on the hunt and released my penis that had been tortured for minutes. Jimin whimpered through his tear soaked eyelashes. “Yes-yes-I want it…” He whimpered and when he reached out and tried to touch me I stiffened, I couldn't move.
I wanted him to touch me. Oh God… I wanted him to grab my penis with his little fingers, to caress it, to do whatever he wanted to me…
“A-alpha, please...”
As more slick dripped from his hole onto the sheet, the smell made me dizzy, it was so close. I was so close to smelling the real pheromones that would be released with his heat. I was getting impatient and at the same time delaying this moment as long as I could. It was like things were going to change forever.
As I positioned myself at his entrance, spreading his trembling knees to either side, his waist lifted and he shivered. Somewhere out there I could feel Jimin, in those eyes. I leaned against him, close enough that my breath hit his face, and put my hand on his warm cheek. “I promise I won't hurt you, Jimin. I'll be careful.”
When he moaned, he squeezed my wrist with his fingers and I moved both of his hands above his head and locked them with mine. For some reason I thought it would make him feel better if I held his hands. My wolf was silent, waiting for me to make a move.
When I held my breath and pushed my leaking penis into him, Jimin's lips parted and he gasped. I stared at him unblinkingly, as if I wanted to memorise every shape of his face. His face twisted with pleasure, a small growl escaped his throat. It was happening. I leaned into his neck as I began to move inside him, rubbing my nose against his skin to get a better sense of his scent. My sheets were soaked in his slick, my room smelled like him.
Like him.
It took me a few minutes to understand the pheromones that came with heat. Up until that moment, all I had done was try to reach deeper. My mind was fuzzy and scattered, wanting nothing more than to make him feel better. I was too distracted to even see what was in front of me as my penis squeezed into his tightness. But I recognised the smell.
It was the Ren Flower. A medicinal flower that grows at certain times of the year in front of eagle nests on the slopes of the southern mountains. It was wonderful, a tremendous smell. Unique… Just like him… Just like me... The moment I smelled it, I was hit over the head because it was rare. It was so rare that I must have kept its smell in my memory like the first day.
During one of my studies with Healer Jae, he handed me a bouquet of Ren and asked me to smell it.
And then he added. “This is Ren. Also known as the flower of betrayal. It symbolises purity, spiritual enlightenment and rebirth. The scent is wonderful, but as useful as the essence of the flower is, the thorns and leaves that surround it are poisonous. If not used properly, they can bring down a wolf in minutes. Even a bear. You have to handle it with care and caution.”
Just like Jimin…
I couldn't help but let out a growling groan. I felt like I was on fire and Jimin was no different. He couldn't smell it, but he knew that something inside him had changed forever. He threw his head back as his darkening eyes closed. “A-alpha... Mhm.”
Now I understood exactly why Jungkook didn't leave the house for a week after being reunited with his Omega. It was something to die for. And they weren't even like us. They had waited a long time for this moment and they were head over heels in love. And me? I felt like I had been waiting for him all my life and we had only been together a month.
I wanted it to last until I died. I didn't want to lose him. He was my mate. Even if he wasn't my other half. I bit into his plump breasts as I dug my fingers even harder into his sweaty ones, leaving kisses that would turn into bruises tomorrow.
“Mhmm... Knot…” He sobbed. “I want your knot... A pup...” His face was drenched in sweat and tears. “Please... Alpha… Give me a pup.”
It was so hard to ignore him. If I hadn't been so experienced, my wolf would have taken control and given him what he wanted. I was actually surprised. I thought my wolf would push me harder, that he would kill me to give him what he wanted.
It was as if it knew it wasn't the right time. My head was all over the place. To reach deeper, I took my hand off his hips and threw his leg over my waist. This time he whimpered as I held his wrists tightly together above his head. “Mhm... My wrist... It hurts...” He smiled mischievously as I stepped back as if I had touched fire. “You buy it so easily.”
“So you're playing games…” I said as I pulled back a little and entered him again. He moaned loudly. He moaned every time I pressed against his walls. “Yes... Let's play harder.”
“I promised Jimin I'd be gentle, so tough luck.” I grinned as I bit his earlobe and he responded by scratching my back with his fingernails. I hissed when it hurt. “We both want you to be rough, to mess us up... To ruin us. Can't you, Alpha? Are you afraid?”
“You can't fool me like that.” I said in a hoarse voice. “I keep my promises.”
With a flash of lightning in his eyes, he began to make new scratches on my back, and soon his fingers were gripping my scar. I growled hoarsely and he grinned. I grabbed his chin to keep his grin from widening. He enjoyed it too, he loved it when I squeezed him, when I gave him no room to move. It drove me crazy. How could they be so different?
He came as his eyes rolling back and his whole body shaking, I was no different to him. He held out quite well. After a few seconds of incomprehensible whispers and pleas, I let go of his penis, which I had begun to stroke, and watched him cum on his stomach. He blinked unconsciously, and before I lost control of myself from his scent, I pulled out of him and, with a moan I couldn't help, came in his groin as well. After that it was complicated, my head was spinning and my ears were ringing.
The Ren flower was all around me, tormenting me like it did its prey. I thought I was going to die, that the scent would sneak up on me and kill me.
“Oh God…” Jimin was still shivering when I lay down next to him, breathing in ragged gasps. Maybe he was cold. I grabbed him and pulled him close, his blonde hair falling across my chest as he laid his head gently against my sweaty chest. Neither of us spoke for several minutes.
“Alpha…” He said in his deep voice. “Why didn't you give me a pup?”
“We both know you didn't want one. It is too soon, Jimin.”
“You have no respect for the wishes of your Omega.”
“You are both one…” I replied. “You have to learn to be compatible with each other.”
“Like you and your fox?”
I gritted my teeth as he snarled. His wolf knew how to hurt. And it did. When I didn't make a sound, he rested his chin on my chest and looked up at me. “That's how you made me feel before…” He said quietly. Without saying anything else, he fell asleep on my chest.
For a few minutes I stared at the ceiling. There were no words to describe what I was experiencing. The explosions in my soul, the reactions of my body and mind... His unique scent... It was all too much.
It was unbelievable that I had opened all my doors to an Omega I had never met. Park Jimin had entered my life in the middle of a stormy night and broken all my locks.
It was a miracle.
*****
It seemed like a good idea to take care of the bear waiting for me outside while he slept and to prepare the fur coat and present it to Jimin, so I stirred. Jimin immediately opened his eyes and I stopped in surprise. “I didn't want to wake you.”
“Are you leaving already?”
“No-no, I...” I looked away.
“Shall I go back to my room?” He looked around and pulled away from me. “I messed up your bed.”
“Jimin, I don't care about the bed. Make yourself comfortable.” Jimin wrapped himself in the fur on the bed as I stood up and put on my trousers. “Are you sure?”
“I'm sure. Now you can come to my room whenever you want without asking permission. I'll get something to clean you up.” I didn't know which side of him I was talking to, his eyes were still light and dark. The most beautiful shades of red, brown and yellow.
“Well...” He rubbed his nose against my fur and closed his eyes again. “I'll be here.”
As I left my room, leaving the door slightly open, I thought about what I'd said. They weren't words spoken in the heat and excitement of the moment.
I meant them. I meant it because the consequences of my actions had been severe and I had paid the price with a guilty conscience. I meant it because I had said goodbye to the past and embarked on a new path with Jimin. It was only after that argument that I realised the possibility that this relationship, which was initially based on an agreement, could later become serious. Even if we weren't one of those legendary couples who fell in love, we could be one of those who understood and cared for each other.
I was just hoping, I knew I would avoid it like crazy rather than reveal it to Jimin.
After leaving the room and finding a damp cloth to clean it with, I went back and threw some big logs into the fire. The weather was still overcast, it had been two hours since I got home. I knew the celebrations in the square were still going on from the sounds I could hear as I took the wood outside.
Jimin was asleep when I got back to bed. Trying not to wake him, I lifted the fur coat and opened the front of his shirt, which I didn't know when he'd worn it, and began to clean his crotch, stomach and legs as best I could. Once he was out of heat, I would also prepare a hot bath for him. I clenched my teeth as I cleaned our sperm from his belly, still finding it hard to believe what we had been through. It was hard to believe that I was sitting there cleaning my own fluids from Jimin. It was strange to make love with him, even though it was expected. But there was also a part of it that was intoxicating, that left you speechless.
When he shivered and murmured, I stopped and got out of bed after buttoning him up and covering him with my fur. A few hours sleep would do him good. The first thing I did after quietly leaving the room was to go out the door to the veranda and catch my breath. I realised how much I needed it as the cold air penetrated my bones.
My eyes went to the bear still lying there and I smiled, remembering Jimin's reaction that morning. He had loved it, he had been proud of me.
I could finish the fur in my spare time. It would be a bit difficult, but I could do it. With that in mind, I put on some of my old clothes and got to work. I managed to carry the bear to the back of the house with some difficulty.
After only two hours I had done most of it. I left the rest for tomorrow because Jimin needed to eat. Who knows when he last ate. I entered the house with my clothes covered in blood and was on my way to the bathroom when I came across Jimin standing on the doorjamb, listening to the noises. When he saw me, he let out a little scream, jumped back and backed away. “Yoongi!”
“Jimin...”
I stopped just as I was about to approach him. I was covered in blood, including my face. I hadn't done a very clean job. It was my first time skinning a fur by myself, it was harder than I thought.
“Who did this to you?” His eyes filled immediately and he put his hands to his lips. “Are you going to die?” I was stunned to see the tears in his eyes. “No, God... No Jimin. It's the bear's blood.”
It took him about three seconds to realise what I was saying, and then he let out a sigh of relief and clung to the wall as if he was about to collapse. “Sorry I scared you. I was trying to sneak into the bathroom before you saw me.”
“Thank God…” He came closer and sniffed me. “You are telling the truth… You scared the hell out of me... I don't know what came over me.” He clasped his shaking hands together. “It must be hard to skin a bear alone.”
“It wasn't.” I said, lying… “Excuse me while I get cleaned up.” I looked at him questioningly and he nodded absently, still wearing nothing underneath. It was obvious he hadn't fully recovered and who knew when he would. “How about some trousers underneath?” I suggested, he might be cold.
He looked down and frowned. “Has it affected you badly?”
“No... Just so you don't get cold.”
“I'm not cold.”
“Well then, sit down in front of the fire. Don't follow me, the bathroom is cold.”
“Okay… I'll wait for you there. If you need any help, just let me know.” He laughed mischievously. Half an hour later, I came out of the bathroom, thoroughly cleaned up, and started to dry my wet hair. Jimin was nowhere to be seen and out of the corner of my eye I saw that he was in my room, sitting on the bed, trying to fix his messy hair and sighing.
He was cute.
While he was in my room, I went into the kitchen to prepare a quick meal, boiling some vegetables and making ramen noodles. Minutes later, the smell filled the house and Jimin appeared like a hungry mole. His eyes were innocent and shy. “You should eat.” I suggested.
He came quietly and sat down at the table. “You made dinner for me?”
“As usual…” He was offended when I teased him, “I'm a bungler anyway, aren't I? You must be starting to fantasise about kicking me out of the house.”
“It was a joke.”
“There's a certain amount of truth in jokes.”
Obviously his wolf was on the rampage again. I spooned a bite into his mouth and he stopped talking nonsense and ate it. I gave him every bite as if he couldn't use his hands and he obeyed without question. When he finished, I put the spoon down. My own plate was untouched and already cold.
When Jimin looked at my plate and asked, “Are you going to eat that?” I pushed it in front of him even though I was hungry, “I wasn't hungry.”
“I'm testing you…” He chuckled and took my spoon and put it to my lips. “Now it's my turn.”
“You don't have to...” As he put the spoon to my lips, I opened my mouth and chewed the ramen face down. “I want to feed you, why are you looking at me like that?”
When he put the second bite to my lips I found it hard not to complain, my wolf didn't like being treated like a baby. But I didn't complain too much. There was someone who wanted to take care of me. “That's it, little Alpha... Finish your meal and get well.”
“I'm fine.”
“No, you're pale and tired.” It must have been difficult for him to reach me, because he sat on my lap without offering, his legs dangling from either side. “I need you…” He murmured as he took the ramen from the bowl in his hand and brought it to my lips.
“And I need you too…”
He giggled, all chirpy. After I let him put a few more spoonfuls of ramen in my mouth, the pressure in my groin increased and I moved my hand from his shirt to his bare hips and cupped his plump cheek. He smiled ticklishly. “Oh, what are you doing... You naughty...”
“Naughty?” It was something I'd never heard him say before and suddenly it sounded incredibly adorable. I threw my head back and laughed.
“What are you laughing at? Open your mouth, this plate will be finished.”
Maybe Healer Jae was right. Each of the Omegas could behave completely differently in their heat, doing things they had never done before. They would unleash their desires, their wishes, all the feelings they had suppressed. Is this what Jimin wanted all the time? I swallowed. Besides, some Omegas took more pleasure in taking care of their Alpha than in being taken care of. I guess Jimin was that kind of Omega.
“Okay…” I opened my mouth wide and swallowed the last bite. I was hungry for him already. I didn't know what would happen to us when the heat was over and I didn't know how long this heat would last. Part of me wanted it to last for days, no lie.
I didn't know if he would want to make love to me in a normal time. Since we weren't a couple bound by love, would we just be together in our heat like other couples?
It was killing me not to know.
As soon as I put my fingers on his waist, the porcelain bowl slipped out of Jimin's hands and shattered on the floor. He jumped from my lap, his eyes flashing. “Shit, that's the bowl Yuri and I bought. She's going to be so upset-“
“Shh...” I pushed his hand away so it wouldn't hurt. “We'll get a new one. It'll be fine. Just leave it, I'll take care of it.”
“It's my fault. Let me pick it up.” He was really upset. “I think I was tickled when you touched me... So I dropped it.”
I looked at him, “Jimin. I was the one who provoked you. I shouldn't have touched you.”
He was stubborn. I was afraid he would step on the broken pieces with his bare feet, so I sighed and picked him up and sat him down on the green sofa in the lounge. I would clean up later. “Would you like me to make you a hot, comforting cup of tea?” Jimin folded his hands in his lap and looked at the floor as I bent my knees in front of him. “No, don't bother any more.”
“So that's a yes?”
“No…” He looked at me uncertainly. “I want you to stay with me.”
“Okay… That's it. Tell me what you want.”
“I want to sleep.” He scratched his eyes. “I'm very tired. But I don't want to sleep alone.”
It was evening. I had fed him and cleaned him as best I could. If he wanted to sleep, I would sleep with him. “Shall we go to sleep then?”
When he nodded his head gently, I held out my hand and he placed his warm fingers on mine, and together we went back to my room. While I threw some firewood into the fireplace, he was already between the sheets. After taking off the clean tunic I was wearing, I lay down next to him and waited for him to cuddle up to me. But he was at the end of the bed. When I grabbed him and pulled him towards me, he gasped. His dangerous scent had entered my lungs again and I wanted him close to me. “If you stay that far away, you'll end up on the floor. This is a single bed.”
I had my excuse ready.
Jimin obeyed without a sound and a moment later he turned to me and rested his head on my chest. “Good night…” I whispered after we were covered in fur. “You did so well today… You handled things very well, you waited for me and you were patient. Thank you.”
“You too…” He said, his voice cracking. “You took such good care of me... Thank you, Yoonie.”
Notes:
Yoongi will see Jimin's flowers so soon, so be patient, please! 😞 I know you can't wait, but that's how it's supposed to be. Thank you for reading...please share your thoughts💔
Chapter 18: Ren
Summary:
“Why? They wanted to see Ren? Because it's so unique...”
“Not really…” He said. “Ren has many characteristics and names. One of them is the Flower of Betrayal. It is said that it brings disaster and misfortune to the place where it is found, and that it separates spouses.” He didn't look me in the eye, fiddling with his hands in his lap. “It is associated with unfaithfulness.”
Notes:
Hello everyone after a long time! 🧚♀️I apologize for the delay of the new chapter. Actually there is some serious shit going on in my country Türkiye right now. We're trying to protect our democracy somehow. There are a lot of protests going on. So the author and I have been following the protests and the news and trying to make our voices heard on Twitter. I translated the chapter as fast as I could in the last few days. I hope you're still there and reading with excitement. We will try to get the next chapter out as soon as possible without too much delay. Thanks for reading. Have a good time.✨💜🎉
Chapter Text
- I've always been at war with myself because I had no idea how to be your enemy.
➰
Legend has it that in the past, when people had secrets that were difficult to share, they would go to a high mountain and carve a small hollow in the trunk of a tree that they found. Then they would whisper their secrets into that hollow and cover it with the clay they had prepared, so that no one could find out their secrets.
Perhaps that's what I should do. But how long will our wolves play this game? Even if I scream and hide my secret in the hollows of all the trees, how can I hide the cursed flowers carved into my skin from him any longer? Our wolves will tire of this. They will tire of my silence and open the Alpha's eyes. They'll stop ruling us. Yoongi will understand.
I built this palace of sadness with so many difficulties, and now it seems like it'll crumble with a single flick. I can't do anything because I'm so afraid of ruining everything with my own hands, and this feeling doesn't let me breathe.
I can neither speak nor shut up, as if my mouth were sealed.
My heat has changed things forever, even if we don't want to admit it. I just knew it would happen. Deep down, I'm ready to fall for the Alpha. I'm so ready to fall for him… To give him my soul… My heart... My whole being… But he was like a stone wall to me all this time. Now there's definitely been some shift in him recently, ever since we started getting to know each other. The way he looks at me, it's like there's a whole new depth there. It's like he sees something in me. His intense gaze is gradually becoming more tender and although he doesn't know who I am, he seems to recognise me, which seems fair enough to me. ‘After all, I'm married to this omega, I can love him. What do I have to lose?’ I can tell by the way he looks at me that’s what he's thinking. I guess I'm the end of the line for him, the final option after he's tried everything else. I see myself as a kind of fountain where he can rest when he's all done. I'm like a piece of cake.
The fact that I've been in contact with my wolf more than ever in recent days doesn't mean that I'm unaware of what's going on. It's very different from me, brave, fierce and adorable. Lovable… Breathtaking… Mischievous. And I'm just me. I've never been myself. I don't even know what it means to be myself. The reunion I was counting on made me lose myself. I'd hoped that all my searching would end when I found my soulmate, but obviously I was wrong. I meet a different version of myself every day. I'm trying to fill in all the pieces Yoongi left missing with my own hands.
I sometimes feel like things will never be complete for me.
I've got this feeling that everything's gonna get worse, and I can't help it. If I tell him the truth now, when I'm at my weakest, he'll think I'm just looking for a way out. I've got so much to get to grips with. I need to figure out how to tell him, and I need to find the right time, but heat isn't going to help.
The volcano in my groin is boiling again, the heat in my body is suddenly rising and I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a volcano. Yoongi's right here next to me. He's still asleep, looking peaceful. Every time I look at him, I feel like I've known him for ages, yet at the same time, he feels like a total stranger. I'm not sure what to think. I wish I could talk to Eloa. Didn't she put us in this situation? If not her, then who? How many gods are there? Which one should I go to? I want her to change our destiny. I just want everything to be all right. I'm so done with feeling down. I don't want to lose my alpha when I found him so hard. He's so beautiful that my heart aches. I can picture yesterday all over again. The way he looked at me… The way he held me… I couldn't focus on not getting kissed. The marks left by his fingers on my skin turn into memories that'll never be erased. It's like my skin is on fire. And the way his lips leave a trail on my neck and scent gland… And how he uses his tongue... It blows my mind. His fingers moving inside me... The moment I thought I was going to die…
I want it to happen again. I want it to go on forever, so it's easier to escape my secrets. My emotions are so intense, the weight of volcanoes ready to erupt. I'm drawn to him more and more. My wolf's demands are endless. I can't hold it back. And I'm losing this battle that was a foregone conclusion.
When I woke up in the early hours of the morning and threw myself into the bathroom to tend to my needs, I found myself looking at myself in the misty mirror. I suddenly felt like gouging out my eyes that Yoongi had complimented me on yesterday by admiring them. My chest tightened. I look like him.
I am you and you are me.
But he doesn't know that and who knows what he took it for? ‘Omegas have a wide range of eye colours that become more pronounced in their heat.’ That's my new lie and he's more than willing to believe it, like he believes anything I say. It's pure coincidence that our eye colours are similar, Sometimes I think he wants me to lie.
I put my hands on the sharp edges of the sink and breathed for a while. I was wearing the shirt I had put on that night, completely naked underneath. The fire in the bathroom had been out for a while, so it was freezing. But I wasn't cold.
Yoongi... Yoongi...
My wolf kept calling for him.
Yoonie.
That's when I realised I was in trouble. I called him the same way when I fell asleep on his chest last night. The same way I called him when I passed out in his arms the first night we met. ‘Yoonie… My one and only soulmate…’
He must have been angry with me again last night. My wolf is so cool about it. It has a good excuse. It's like it's normal in the wolf world. We call each other by our wolf names when we're in trouble, when we need a helping hand... Omegas are more dexterous than you think.
Barefoot and stepping on the cold floorboards, I made my way back to the room where the Alpha was contemplating his den, it was dark from the lack of sunlight, the fire was out but the ambient temperature was fine. Without averting my eyes, I went straight to the bed and climbed onto the high, hard mattress and snuggled under the blanket.
Yoongi stirred and I saw his Adam's apple rise and fall. His eyelashes flickering for a moment, shadowing his pale cheeks. ‘Oh God, help me. I feel like I am falling in love with him.’
It's that easy. I respond wholeheartedly to a single caress, a warm smile with my heart in my hands. That's who I am, a black fly twirling in his flame. I need him.
I thought it was my wolf that made me feel all this. It is all so complicated, I am so complicated. As I looked at him, what he said in the argument a few days ago echoed in my ear, but at the same time I erased all his words. It's all right. It was a mistake and he asked me to forgive him. I forgave him.
He promised not to hurt me again.
But he will.
And I'm sure I'll be the cause of it. That's why I have to tell him the truth now.
I alternated between asking him to open his eyes and continuing to watch him without waking him. I shivered slightly as the wind howled and rattled the windows... I didn't know what was going on outside... Since yesterday I was someone else...
I couldn't help it when my head started moving by itself. “Yoon-gi…” I leaned my nose against the warm nape of his neck and inhaled his scent, wanting to keep him to myself, just for me. I can't even tell what this smell is. Wolves are unable to smell themselves. I would like to be the one to describe his scent to him.
Like a primitive wolf, I rubbed my warm tongue over his neck and licked his skin a few times before Yoongi finally opened his eyes and waited without flinching. “You're early…” He murmured in his hoarse, sleepy voice after a moment. “Don't you want to sleep some more?” I thought he was trying to get rid of me. The only chance I had left to be completely his was my heat, and he was trying to steal it from me. I gritted my teeth and looked at him, our eyes locked. “We've slept enough.”
Just when I thought he was going to protest, he said, “If that's the case…” and then he wrapped his free hand around my waist. It kills me when he does that. But he didn't even notice once. Instead, he kept doing it. It's incredible how I lose control every time he touches my flowers.
I want to find the hollow of that tree and scream until I'm hoarse.
‘I hide my flowers from my soul mate, I even hide the fact that we're soul mates, he thinks he's married to a stranger and I'm cheating on him!’
A few days ago I was sure I wanted to punish him with my secret. Never tell him… Nothing… Ever... After two apologies and a few intimacies, I put up with everything. That's what my wolf told me to do. I didn't fight it.
“You seem distracted.”
If only he understood what he had to understand so easily. Then he would have seen my flowers instead of hovering around them.
Yoongi's grip on my waist tightened as I shrugged and lightly licked the bruise from yesterday's mark. I couldn't calm myself any more. “M-hm…”
A moment later I found myself on the Alpha's crotch, under a thick tracksuit and a light cotton tunic that he wore when he slept, and I was naked except for my shirt. I didn't want to take it off for a moment. Every time Yoongi tried to put clothes on me, I stubbornly resisted. I swallowed hard as I felt the tension between my legs. I wanted to give him pleasure. When the Alpha's eyes widened, I leaned forward into his groin and pressed against his hardness. Even though he had just woken up, I had already made him hard with my tongue. I'm doing well, my wolf is breaking his locks one by one. I could never have done it without it. I could never have touched him… Someone who didn't want me.
“Jimin-ah…”
I didn't want to hear that name, I was my wolf today. Not Jimin, the innocent who tells lies. “Call me ‘My Omega’” I commanded as I peeled off the fabric covering the Alpha's chest from his waist, resting my hands on his warm abs.
“But you are Jimin. I want to call you Jimin.”
“Alpha…” I said tiredly. “Or would you like me to call you Yoonie?”
“Uh... About that…” I watched his Adam's apple rise and fall as his eyes shifted to my hands on his stomach, and I moaned hoarsely as he stiffened a little more beneath me. “Yeah… About that…”
This time his hand rested on my hips and his strong fingers caressed my buttocks, spreading them apart. When he unexpectedly sent his index finger to my already wet entrance, my back arched and I found myself leaning against his chest. The way he whispered in my ear was extremely arousing. Did he have any idea how stunning his voice was? “Isn't it time you told me how you know my name?How long are you going to run?”
His finger was neither inside nor outside of me, I could give him anything he wanted while he tortured me, just to get to the end. “M-hm... Please…”
“Tell me first.”
“Is it time now?” Sweat was already beading on my forehead, I squirmed even more, would this tenderness never end?
“If you don't tell me now, it's like you'll never tell me.”
“You're taking advantage of my weakness-ah!” I couldn't help but moan against his lips as my stomach tightened. Completely unfiltered, completely natural, completely my wolf, and somewhere inside I was dying of shame and fear.
“You could say that.”
I squeezed the tunic with my fingers, clenched my hands into fists, tried to straighten up, and threw one hand behind my back, on his large wrist. “Please... Go on…”
“Omega.”
The words came out of my mouth unplanned as I sobbed, my wolf had prepared it all for me. The whole story. The way it told to me. “We Omegas are so much more than you think. When I was near death that night, asking for help from someone nearby seemed like the only way out... I did it so I wouldn't die.”
“You did what?”
“I called you. Your wolf. That's his name, isn't it? Yoonie?”
When Yoongi looked stunned, I realized that my wolf was right. Yoonie was his wolf's name, but I didn't know why he had reacted so strongly that night.
“I came that night because I heard your voice, you didn't call my wolf. How can that be?”
“You don't know anything, Yoongi.” I groaned and tried to push myself against his finger.
“Let me know.”
“I told you…” I bowed my neck, trying to catch my breath and find my words. It was so hard to speak. My mind was becoming fuzzy and unclear. “It was my cry for help. We Omegas can sense the presence of nearby wolves and communicate with them. That's how I learned your name - mhm! Stop it! You're driving me crazy.” As I continued to squirm, Yoongi nodded as if convinced and sent two fingers inside me, widening my hole. My knees shook from the sudden wave of pleasure that washed through my body and I let out a little scream. I felt like I was going to collapse on him.
Whatever this thing was, I wanted to feel like this all the time. I tried to pull off his tunic, I wanted his skin, all the while my hands were tangled in the string of his sweatpants. “Take it off…”
As he sank his finger deeper into me, I nearly fainted. “Do it yourself.”
I could do it. I leaned in slowly, getting close enough to touch my face to his crotch, then fixed my eyes on my Alpha, who watched me with a faint gaze, and sank my teeth into the drawstring of his sweatpants.
He swallowed hard.
Even though a shy side of me usually dominated, today was not his lucky day. Right now I could do a million naughty things I wouldn't normally think of doing.
I could give him everything that he never wanted before.
After tugging and pulling at the rope in my teeth, the waistband of the sweatpants loosened and I pounced on my Alpha like a hungry animal, pulling his sweatpants down. “I want to touch it…”I said, wetting my lips as his already erect penis was exposed to my eyes. “How will my Alpha take that? Can I take you in my mouth, Yoonie?”
Yoongi seemed to be holding himself so tightly that the veins in his forehead stood out. “I don't want you to go too far.”
It was obvious that he wanted to.
He shook his head from side to side as if he understood my look. “Jimin…” When he put his hand on my chin, I was suddenly docile, but my wolf never listened to me. ‘Crush him…’ It said. ‘Plunder him… Bite him… Hurt him and make him moan your name.’
“This is your first heat. I don't want you to regret what you've done when you come to your senses. Right now you can't control yourself.”
“But you want me so much…” I said with a teasing grin. I was so close to his penis that he could feel the breath of my lips against the head. He could hardly resist. I wanted to push him over the edge. How could he be so calm and in control when it was his first time? “Confess…”
He didn't say he wanted, but he didn't object either. “Fortunately, I can control myself.”
And suddenly he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me under him. A small cry of surprise escaped my lips as he asked, “You have many more heats ahead of you. How about hiding your abilities for them?” That must have made sense to my wolf, because it lowered its tail. It had accepted.
‘Okay, we'll suck him some other time.’
I spread my legs wide and Yoongi slid between my legs. My mind didn't feel as heavy and fuzzy as yesterday, so it was easier to control my wolf. I calmed it down as shame rose in my blood, the fact that I had lied to my Alpha ruined everything.
‘How would your soul mate feel if he knew you were using him and hiding things from him?’
Suddenly I started to cry. Yoongi stopped just as he leaned on my neck. “Don't stop…” I begged. “Don't stop...”
“Something's wrong.” He stepped back, completely. And then he got off the bed and turned on the gas lamp so he could see my face better. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”
I cried more because he was thinking about me. I followed him as he went to the fireplace to get a handkerchief, and as I opened the door I snuggled into his warm chest and put the lamp in his hand on the mantelpiece. “Don't go away from me... Please... Please, let's make love.”
“But you're crying...”
“Omegas cry when they're in heat. It's normal. Okay?!” I ran my tongue over my Alpha's nipple and bit it as I sobbed. A hiss escaped his lips, then he tugged at the hair on the back of my neck, making me look at him. I liked that it hurt. I wanted it to hurt more. Maybe that would make me forget my lies.
“Please…” I slipped my fingers into the elastic of his underwear, then plunged in and finally, before he had a chance to protest, I gently grasped the hot penis. I'd never felt like this when playing with myself. It was big… Huge… Massive… ‘Oh God. I lost my mind.’ I touched him. We were faithful to each other, we'd never had other people. Suddenly I felt like I'd lost my wolf, my fingers trembled as I touched him. I must have squeezed a little, because the Alpha hissed again, still not letting go of my hair. “Jimin…” He said, not taking his eyes off mine.
“I want it…”
I laughed as he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, hard enough to take my breath away. “Yes... That's it. My beautiful Alpha...”
“If you want it. You'll get it.”
My eyes slid down and I noticed that he was still staring at me as I grabbed his penis and began to stroke it. It was hard enough. But when, instead of moving, he used his big hand to pull on both of our penises at the same time, I gasped and leaned my head against the wooden beam and whimpered loudly. “Mhm!”
It only took one touch to make my knees shake.
“Y-Yoonie…”
“You will call me Yoongi.” He gritted his teeth and pulled us both faster, and I put my trembling hand on his, my eyes filled with tears. I could have called him whatever he wanted. I would have done anything not to lose his warm touch.
When he suddenly stopped, I tried to push myself against him. I was so needy, my aggressive wolf had been replaced by an obedient one. “Please...”
When he grabbed his penis and slowly positioned it at my entrance, I held my breath and nodded quickly. Clinging even tighter to his neck, my eyes on where we were joined. “Y-yes, yes, please.” Before I could finish my sentence, Yoongi grabbed one of my legs, lifting it up and wrapping it around his waist. While he wiped the tears from my eyes with his hand, he found a better angle and slid hard inside me, I was already soaked, I was so ready for him. I felt the hot liquid oozing out of my hole and running down my legs... It was an unbearable pleasure, I don't know how to explain it.
And I couldn't help but think that if we were complete, it would be so much more.
How was more than this even possible?
*****
“I don't know if it was worthy of you, but...” The sound of the door slamming… Footsteps approaching… The unique scent of Alpha filled my nostrils. He exhaled, I turned my head to look into his eyes, cautious and tense. Between his hands he held my most precious treasure. My white bear fur coat. I blinked, I didn't know when we last had moments of passion, was it an hour ago or a day? Time was both too slow and too fast. I remembered falling asleep by the fire crying with pleasure and his fingers crushing my insides. And before that, he had slowly fucked me against the wall. He had never kissed me, never even tried. How many times had we slept together? Three? Most of the time I was the one who was satisfied and he was the instrument. Before I even had time to get upset about it, another wave of heat hit my body with full force.
“Yoongi…” I said hoarsely.
“Jimin…” He stopped in front of me. “I finally finished your fur coat. I want to give it to you.”
“Finished? So soon...” I found the strength to be surprised. When I sat up, my whole body shivered as if caught in the cold. Yoongi must have gone to my fur whenever he was free. Whether it was for me or for his Omega as a wolf, I didn't know, but I was very happy.
Yoongi also got down on his knees to reach me. Then he handed me the unique fur coat with its soft white fur. The pheromones of my Alpha mixed with the scent of the fur made me dizzy. I wanted to take it with me, wrap myself in it and hold it close to me until the day I died. When I touched the two-meter-long fur between his hands, he said, “There's only the lining left, and since I can't do that, I'll give it to Hoseok. He will do it. But if you want, you can use it as a blanket, not as a fur coat.”
It was a very primal moment. I snarled through my teeth and grabbed the fur. Hoseok couldn't touch it. “No, it is mine. I won't give it to anyone.”
Empty-handed, Alpha blinked in confusion, “But…”
“I'm not giving it to Hoseok!”
Actually, I loved Hoseok very much, and my Alpha knew that, but it was my primitive wolf who was talking now, not me. So he couldn't be angry with me. And he didn't. I panicked and he said, “Okay, okay, you're not giving it to him. It's just yours.”
“Swear to me. Swear to the gods that you won't take it without me knowing.”
“I swear…” he threw up his hands, the Alpha who had won a fight with a white bear losing to an Omega. I loved that image. We could defeat them, too. We could be powerful. “Trust me.”
“Why would I do that? Wasn't it you who hurt my heart irreparably the last time I trusted you?”
When the expression on his face suddenly darkened, I realized he was angry that I had opened old books, but that didn't stop me. I didn't know how much longer I could make him pay for the ring, how much longer I could rub it in his face. I guess it was a wound inside of me that wouldn't close, and just when I thought it was closed, it would come out.
The moment he got up and walked away from me, I felt terrible, as if even my wolf regretted what it had done. With my fur coat in my hand and only my shirt on, I got up after him and stood in front of him. The pain in the Alpha's eyes hurt me. It scared me that I was starting to feel different things for him every day. It made me vulnerable.
“Where are you going?”
“To prepare some food.” He said in a distant tone.
“Let's sit by the fire for a while... Come on…” He pulled away when I tried to take his hand. “You can sit.”
“I want you to come too.”
“Jimin…” He said tiredly. “Forget it…”
My voice started to tremble as my eyes suddenly filled with tears. “Why are you doing this? You're rejecting me when I need you so much.”
“Can't you see how hard I've tried to be there for you? Since this... This thing... Started, I've taken every arrow you've thrown at me, I've accepted everything, but it's getting tiring Jimin. How long are we going to keep this up? You said you forgave me, but when I look at you, all I see are angry, vengeful eyes.”
“I can't control my emotions...” I said as I wiped a hot tear from my eye that was running down my cheek. “It's so hard to get into a heat with a wolf like that. I don't want to hurt you or anything… But… It would be nice if you understood how I feel.”
“You can be sure I do.”
“Please...” This time I was able to take his big hand dangling at his side. It was warm, safe... When I pressed it to my cheek, lightning flashed in the Alpha's eyes. He hadn't expected Jimin to do this. He thought he was getting all the moves from a wolf in heat. But we did most of our things together and it was only because of my insecurity due to my inexperience with our lovemaking that my wolf had completely taken control of me.
“Forgive me... I won't rub it in your face again, I promise. And I don't hold a grudge against you, you misunderstand me. I'm just... Sad.” I sighed. “Would I spend my heat with you if I hated you?”
My voice sounded so flirtatious and hoarse that anyone would have been convinced. My soulmate was convinced, too. “Your heat is almost over…” He said, changing the subject, his hand still on my cheek. “Your skin isn't as hot as it was yesterday, and your smell has lightened.”
I was terrified. The end meant the impossible distance between us. The end meant I couldn't touch him. “Is that so?”
“Yes. That's what the healer said. The first heat is mild, it doesn't last long. Just hang in there a little longer.”
“I didn't have any trouble…” I said, pursing my lips. “You took good care of me.” I put my hand on his hand on my cheek. “You were a very good mate.”
“I wonder which one of you said that...” He said sarcastically, then pulled his hand back and cleared his throat. “Go and sit down, I'll make some soup, you must be hungry.”
“I don't want to be separated from you.” My eyes widened. “Will you give me your pheromones?”
“Haven't I already?”
“"It's not enough, but...” My eyes flickered shut, I was truly addicted to this thing that filled my soul with peace. “I want more. It's so good.” I moved closer to him so he could mark me again. We stood in the doorway of the kitchen. A whistling sound coming from the pot of water boiling over the fire. “Wouldn't it be nice if my fur smelled like us?”
“All right…” He said, trying to control himself. I was playing with the weakest points of an Alpha. He reached out and pushed back the lock of hair that touched my eyelashes, creating a small opening in my neck. I closed my eyes and surrendered to him as he brought his nose close to my neck and touched it. A few seconds later, his pheromones were visible, filled with them everywhere. I hugged him tighter with my fur and pressed his body against mine. It was more intense and loving than any other intimacy. “Alpha... Y-you are so good.”
He rubbed his tongue against my scent gland as the growl from his throat made my groin tremble and I surrendered to him completely. “Is that good enough?” I looked into his darkening eyes as he pulled back. “Yes…” I said. “My Alpha...” I rested my forehead against his and we stayed like that for a while, and he was the first to leave. Obviously this intense contact was something that was straining him. I let him go, but kept watching him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked as he opened the jar in the drawer. “Go and rest, come on.”
“I like watching you.” I leaned back against the back of the couch behind me and hugged my fur. I must have looked like a big bear. “How do I look?” He looked at me as I giggled, making a sound that was supposed to be scary. “Would you hunt me if I was a white bear?”
He laughed heartily as he poured the rice from the jar into the porcelain pot. His laughter was so beautiful that I could have jumped from sin to sin, I could have thrown myself in front of him to keep him laughing.
“Huh? Tell me.”
“I don't think I'll ever hunt a white bear again in my life.”
“So would you hunt me or not?”
“No.” He said sincerely. “I would never hunt you. I need you alive.”
“But I'd be a bear!” What did I want to hear, I was just teasing. “And a fox? Have you ever hunted a fox? Wolves don't get along with foxes.”
When Yoongi suddenly stiffened, I realized what a mistake I had made. My wolf was acting like an idiot and forcing me. I chewed my lip as he turned his back on me and put the pot on the fire in the stove, and after a while I quietly returned to the pile of cushions in front of the fireplace. I'd made this place my home, bringing his clothes here when the Alpha wasn't around and putting my scent on them. I slipped between his thick sweaters, pulled my fur over me, and watched the fire.
I had no excuse. Somewhere inside Yoongi was a fox, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, and I had made a big mistake by asking him about it... I told my wolf everything I could, I was so angry.
About half an hour later, while I was mentally listing excuses, Yoongi entered the living room with a small tray and sat down on the floor next to me. As soon as the smell of soup filled my nostrils, I got up. I was very hungry, even if I didn't realize it.
“Jimin…” He said in surprise. “Why are you crying?”
“What? Am I crying?” I was crying. My face was soaking wet. I deserved to cry. “I'm sorry.” He was about to give me a spoon when I crawled and quickly jumped on his neck. “I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you…” I nuzzled his neck and pressed my nose against the scent gland, kissing him and hugging him tightly as if I was afraid it would spread to his body. “I don't even know why I said that...”
“It's okay.” He said without moving. He didn't hug me, he was confused. Maybe he wanted me to leave. “Come on, your soup is getting cold.”
“When this heat is over, I'll never talk nonsense again.”
“You weren't talking nonsense.” He held me away from him and handed me the porcelain spoon. “Eat.”
I didn't move from his lap. No, he could be as uncomfortable as he wanted. With an arm around his neck I dipped the spoon into the bowl and drank. “It's delicious. You make the best of everything. I've never known an Alpha as skilled as you…” I praised. “My Alpha is the best.”
“My father asked me to hunt a fox the other day... While we were out hunting.” He confessed after a thoughtful sip of soup. It was as if he was talking to someone at that moment, he wanted to tell them, to be understood. It wasn't personal to me, but I was lucky to be the one who was there. “When you said that, I was a little stunned. It was nothing to cry about. Don't waste your tears on me, because I was going to do it. I almost hunted that fox just to win my father's favor.”
I sniffled as my eyes filled again and put the spoon down, smiling as I placed my hand on his cheek. “Don't blame yourself, Yoonie. You didn't ask to be this way. It's not your fault that your father was such a bad man. And look... You didn't. When you could have hunt that fox, you didn't. You're a good fox!” I laughed to lighten the mood, but for some reason my wolf was angry at what I said.
It seemed to want me to break him, to destroy him.
Suddenly he became serious and controlled himself. “Anyway, let's drop the subject.” He took the spoon from the tray and handed it to me. “Eat.”
That was it. He had drawn his clear line again. He didn't want me to get any closer. His father and him… I could be good for him, but maybe I would never be someone he could confide in. I would never even be near him. I realized then that we never talked about each other. We were just killing time in the same house.
And yet I couldn't be angry with him, I couldn't be hurt. I too had secrets about my past, about myself, and so many other things that it was hard to tell. Even to my soulmate.
So I gently got off his lap and prayed that my wolf wouldn't push me any more. We were both exhausted. I needed to get into a state where I could control myself. I wanted to get rid of the fog in my head and talk to Yoongi properly.
Everything was like a dream, but it seemed like it was time for me to wake up from this dream.
*****
When I woke up in Yoongi's bed the next morning, I was alone. Through the window, I heard the birds singing loudly and the sound of wood chopping coming from the woodshed. It had to be Yoongi. About five minutes after I opened my eyes. I stopped lazing on the blanket and got up. All I wanted to do was take a bath. I hadn't even had water on my skin for a few days and I had just realized how horrible and filthy I was. I had to do it before Yoongi saw me like this. I went to my own room, grabbed some clean towels from the closet, and set about preparing water for the bathtub. I filled a large pot with water and put it on the grate over the fire. While I waited for the water to heat up, I had time to clean up the mess in my room.
I didn't want to think.
I didn't want to think about anything, it only brought pain.
If only it were possible to erase the last two days from my mind completely. It was going to kill me. It was like a predator that would catch me in my emptiness at any moment. I didn't know how I could ever be the same after Yoongi and I had crossed so many boundaries.
Yoongi came through the door with some firewood while I was carrying my bucket of water by the handle to the bathroom in my room. “Jimin?” He said as he closed the door. “What are you doing, it's too heavy…”
“It's okay, I've carried heavier than this before.” He called out again as I tried to walk quickly to my room. “Jimin. Are you okay?”
“If you're asking if my heat is over, yes, it is. We are free now. Excuse me while I take a bath.”
He paused, opening and closing his mouth, and even if he had something to say, he stayed silent. After he nodded, I turned away and went to my room.
Everything was over.
On the other hand, everything was just beginning.
I felt relieved as I undressed and got into the bathtub. As I began to wash my hair, it felt bitter to wash away the traces of the past two days. My skin touched by his lips, the bruises on different parts of my body... Everything would be erased. Every contact would disappear. The steam from the water filled the bathroom as I scrubbed my skin with the fragrant white soap.
I would forget what it felt like.
I'd forget the insolence of my wolf.
If the water hadn't gotten cold, I could have stayed in the tub until evening, but I had to get out and dry off before the cold made me shiver. After toweling the water droplets from my hair, I changed into my comfortable everyday clothes and looked at the Alpha's shirt winking at me from the dirty laundry basket. He probably wouldn't wear it anymore. It might as well go in the trash. He loved it so much, I had been thoughtless.
As I was leaving my room with the shirt in my hand to throw it in the garbage, I ran into Yoongi. He hadn't made breakfast today and looked very tired and sleepy as he threw wood into the fireplace. “We ran out of wood, I had to fill the woodshed.” He was covered in snow and sawdust, I felt sorry for him, he was trying so hard. “I haven't prepare breakfast yet.”
“Let me do it.” I said determinedly. Everyone had to know his duty now. Now that my heat was over and I was not working, I had to take care of things around the house, otherwise I would not be able to concentrate. “You won't be home all the time, I can't expect you to do everything. I'll learn to cook as soon as possible.”
“It's not something that burdens me. I'm not complaining.”
“No, Yoongi. I'll do it. You're too understanding,” I shrugged. “Or... You're trying to avoid getting poisoned.”
“I've eaten worse.” He said honestly.
“You're so reassuring…” I said, tucking the shirt behind my back. “I look at your recipes all the time, I've almost memorized them.” I wanted to keep a notebook to write it all down when I could read and write, but I didn't say that.
My pathetic little dreams…
“What's that?”
He caught me trying to hide the shirt behind my back and asked what I was hiding. “Nothing...” I showed it anyway and my lip curled down. “Well... I'll make it up to you. I'll buy you the same one. I'm really sorry.”
“Is it unwearable?”
I shrugged, “Do you think?” It was full of both of our fluids, and I had fussed with it so much that some of the buttons had come undone and the fabric was torn. I blushed with shame, I had gone wild.
I was embarrassed to see Yoongi swallowing hard and unable to take his eyes off the shirt, and my wolf was excited. It had no right! “I'd better throw it away.”
Yoongi immediately looked away. “Okay…” But I felt his gaze on my back as I walked to the garbage can outside.
When I came back, Yoongi didn't listen to me and was already in the kitchen. “Don't look like that, I was just heating up the leftovers. You can do whatever you want.”
“I wanted to make kimbap, I was craving it.” I walked over and collapsed on the chair, having given up.
“We don't have any seaweed at home, we'll get some from the market today.”
“I'll buy it, I want to go for a walk, I want to see Yuri...”
“It will be good for you, too. We'll leave the house together. I have to go back to the training center today, there's a semester meeting. They made it wait a few days for me.” When he looked at me, I understood why. They had waited because I was in heat. “You're okay, right? If you're not feeling well, I can reschedule right now.”
“Yeah, I'm fine. It's over now. It was short, thankfully.” I turned away, I couldn't hold him prisoner any longer. I couldn't. “I wonder what's going on out there. It seems like months since the winter solstice.”
He nodded in understanding as he placed the warmed food in front of me and I took the spoons from the drawer and placed them on the table. I wasn't ready for one of our dinner table conversations.
I wasn't even ready to look at him. It had never been so hard to look him in the eye. I could tell he was trying to normalize things for me, but after what had happened between us, it was impossible. What had touched him had pierced me.
“Thank you for everything.” I managed to say. “You took really good care of me and my wolf was very pleased with you. I know I was a difficult mate during my heat, dealing with my wolf must have exhausted you.” I blushed. “But as an Alpha, you handled my wolf very well.”
He nodded as he took a bite of egg and chewed. “I did my best, and I'm glad I could please you and your wolf. No need to thank me, it was my duty as a mate.”
“It still didn't feel like a duty…” I said shyly. “No other Alpha would have been so kind.”
“How do you know that? Have you seen other Alphas?” I almost smiled when he frowned cutely. “No... But I can guess. What about you, Yoongi?”
“What about me what?”
I shrugged as I spread some jam on my bread. “How was it for you? Are you satisfied? Compared to the others…” He interrupted me. “The others? What are you talking about?” He lowered his eyes and half mumbled. “I'm as inexperienced as you are. You're my first time , Jimin.”
“Really?” My heart skipped a beat. I was his first time, it wasn't a dream. My wolf knew. I wanted to cry. As angry as I was at God, I was grateful to her. She had hidden my Alpha until I came to him. So that he would be mine. Mine alone.
“Didn't I already tell you that?” He snapped. He seemed embarrassed to bring it up. I should have praised him more. I don't know if it was because we were both inexperienced, but he felt so in control and experienced.
It was an emotional moment. I swallowed, my throat tightening as my eyes quickly filled. “I-I don't remember. I... I'm... I'm glad and surprised... Because usually alphas, I mean alphas, don't wait to marry and mate and prefer to sleep with omegas...”
“When are you going to stop comparing me to others?”
“Sorry…” I sniffed, my happiness hard to hide.
“What other alphas do is none of my business.” He relaxed and popped an olive into his mouth. “I've always spent my heat alone, doing what I thought was right. Alphas don't get into heat very often anyway. We call it rut. My rut comes much less often, I think because I suppress it too much.”
“But isn't that harmful?”
“I couldn't care less. I shut down after what happened four years ago.” He explained. After Hyuna... After everything that happened…
I wanted to ask him something about Hyuna, even though I was overstepping my bounds, but we were both distracted by a small knock on the other side of the door. Yoongi immediately got up and opened the door to see who it was. I followed him curiously. There was a package on the doorstep and footprints leading off into the darkness.
“Jungkook! What are you doing?” Yoongi yelled and I smelled the familiar scent. Jungkook came out of his hiding place behind the willow and walked slowly towards us like a scolded child. “Well... Hi Hyung... And Jimin-shi. Greetings. Good morning.” He blushed red with embarrassment. His tall height and large body contrasted with his cute appearance. I waved at him from behind my Alpha.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was running away before you saw me! I didn't want to disturb you, I slipped and fell when I left this on your doorstep...” He chewed his lip and didn't look up at us for a moment. “I'm a total mess right now. I have to bury my head in the sand.”
Yoongi picked up the package from the floor and sniffed it. “What the hell is this?”
Jungkook looked away from his hyung. “Well… You know...” He coughed. “It's Taehyung's special recipe, he had the greatest healers make it for his heat. He asked me to bring it to you. Without being seen. If he hears that I've been caught, he won't let me into the house. Don't tell him, okay?” He took his Hyung's hand and Yoongi looked away embarrassed. Maybe I should have gone inside the house.
After Yoongi said, “I won't tell, okay…” I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry...”
“You're going to tell Taehyung for sure! Don't Jimin-ssi, I'll be your slave.”
“I swear I won't.” I took the package from my Alpha. “Should I feed this to my Alpha? What happens next?”
Yoongi looked at me so hard that I had to shut my mouth.
“Yes…” He scratched his neck. “Shit, this is so embarrassing. I'm leaving.” He looked at his brother. “You two don't seem to be in heat.”
“Jimin got over it. We're going out today and I'll stop by the training hall.” He frowned at his brother. “Go on, get lost.”
When we sent Jungkook away and entered the house, we both burst out laughing at the same time and talked about it for minutes... It was the first time since I met him. It was the first time that our laughter was one. It was like a moment out of my dreams.
We got ready and left the house at the same time, and when our paths diverged for a few minutes, I realized that my idea that I was over the heat was completely wrong.
“See you tonight.”
“See you, Yoongi.”
“I won't be late.”
“It's okay, I'm fine.” I waved at him and watched him go.
It wasn't okay. I was lying.
I couldn't do it.
I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't breathe without his scent for a moment. I couldn't believe it was harder than wanting to make love to him all the time. I had to run after him with shaky steps as his silhouette disappeared down the path.
With tears in my eyes, Yoongi heard the sound of my footsteps and stopped, the roof of the training hall was visible from the hill we were on, one of the Alphas was in front of us. “Yoongi, we've been waiting for you, you made it through quickly.”
Yoongi was about to answer him when he saw me coming up behind him and his lips parted, I looked at him apologetically, he approached me and grabbed me just as I was about to fall. The other Alpha watched in amazement. “I'm sorry, I can't, I can't, damn it...” Sobbing, the other Alpha approached us, but had to stop when Yoongi suddenly went wild and growled. “Go back to the training hall, Junghae.”
“All right, all right. Looks like you were wrong…” The Alpha said. “I'll tell the alphas to postpone the meeting for two more days.”
Yoongi stayed alert until he left, then he turned to me and his eyes softened, “How did this happen?” “I don't know, I'm really sorry…” I replied quickly. I clung to his shoulder, the trembling in my knees subsiding as I came closer to his scent. “I didn't expect it to be like this.”
“I guess you need your Alpha just as much after the heat as before.” He grabbed me around the waist and I was very, very glad that we were walking home. “Let's get you home.” I didn't want my wolf to come back, but I also didn't want to be away from my Alpha. I felt guilty and happy at the same time.
“I made you miss work. It's okay if I stay home and sleep in your clothes, you go. Really.”
“Don't be silly, I'm not going anywhere and leaving you like this, that's what we agreed. And I wasn't ready to go back to work either, to be honest...” He set me down directly on the cushions, covered me with my soft fur coat and immediately started to light the fireplace. I had been tormenting him for days, but I was still relieved by what he had said. He hadn't been unkind to me in those days, he had treated me like a real mate. The only thing he hadn't done was to kiss me. And I could have overlooked that.
We could have been compatible.
When the fire in the fireplace started to blaze and Yoongi took the pile of papers out of his leather bag and sat down next to me, the uneasiness that had spread through me disappeared. He usually did his work in his room and didn't come to my side very often. We rarely sat in the living room, but now everything was different. I prayed that it would be like this from now on.
I put my hand under my cheek and watched my Alpha as he started to read. “Do you want something?” He asked without looking at me.
Sometimes it seemed ridiculous that he didn't know that he was my soulmate, because, like now, he knew what I wanted before he even saw it.
“I wanted to know what you're reading.”
“Training reports. We have to decide which alphas will move up this semester.” He looked absentmindedly at the next page.
“How many students do you have?”
“We are five Alphas. We all specialize in different areas, so more or less all students pass through my hands. There are almost a hundred Alphas in the training center right now. Some new ones are joining this week.”
I looked at him and imagined him practicing his profession. He had recently been very kind to one of his students who came to our door. “At what age do they start training?”
I wanted to ask him questions, to learn everything I could about him, and it had nothing to do with my wolf. I wanted to know everything about him.
“It varies. Some families leave their five-year-old children at our door and say, ‘He's all yours.’ Because the conditions in the training center are harsh, and the sooner they start, the better they adapt. On the other hand, it's free. Families who are not so fortunate are happy to have a place where their children can eat three times a day. Not to mention the fact that in the future they can become a fighter and be a good son for their family.”
“But isn't five too young?” I pursed my lips. “I hope you won't mistreat them.”
“I've been training since I was five.” He said. “Conditions were much harsher then.”
Here was a new piece of information. After I got up slowly and collapsed into the light green chair where the Alpha was sitting with my fur coat, I looked at the reports. They were full of jumbled, unintelligible text and numbers. I turned my eyes to Yoongi and studied him. The thin line above his eye from his fight with the bear making my heart ache. I'd never been able to take care of him, and the last thing I remembered was losing it while bandaging his arm.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes?”
“Your eye...” I said sadly. “Does it hurt?”
“No…” He sighed after scribbling something with a pen on one of the papers. “Why aren't you sleeping?”
“Did I distract you? Sorry... I was just curious. I didn't know much about your work.”
“No you didn't, Jimin…” He looked at me. “You look pale. I was afraid you were sick. Maybe you shouldn't have gone out. I made the mistake of thinking your heat was over.”
“ It was not your fault.”
“I thought your heat was over when I noticed the smell was fading.” He shrugged. “I was wrong. Your scent is still there.”
Satisfied that he had brought it up, I sat down with my leg tucked under my butt and covered both our knees with fur. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“You mentioned my scent... You know wolves can't smell themselves. When we go through our first heat, we smell different, our pheromones just explode. That's what I've heard. I wonder…” My heart pounded. “Did I smell good? Did you like it?”
What if he didn't like it? What if it bothered him and he hated it?
My fear grew exponentially as I thought about it for a while. He must have absolutely hated it. Nodding his head as I swallowed the lump in my throat, the Alpha finally spoke.
“It was unique…” We locked eyes, he paused as if on the edge of a cliff. “I guess that's the first thing I can say.”
“Unique?” Was this unique, too? Why was everything about me like this? “What do you mean? What is it like?”
“Have you ever heard of a flower called the Ren?”
I shook my head from side to side, the name didn't ring a bell. Being illiterate, I could only get an idea of what I had seen and heard, as much as I had learned from a seer when I stayed with him. Pearl flowers, elegant hyacinths, the scent of lilies in spring... But Ren was not one of them. “I don't think so.”
“Then you haven't seen it. You would know.” He pressed his lips together, placed the papers on the wooden coffee table in the middle, and turned to me. “Ren is the rarest flower in Arashi. There is no land in the north or south that has an abundance of it. Ren grows only on the slopes of the Houko Mountains. It only blooms at certain times of the year. Once the healer Jae picked it with his own hands.” His eyes softened as if he was remembering. “He said he picked it from the high ground where there was an abandoned eagle's nest.”
“An eagle's nest?”
“Eagles always build their nests in the most sheltered places. The flower can only bloom in such places. It takes a lot of work to find Ren. Most healers returned empty-handed. Jae-nim was lucky.”
Now I was intrigued. I smiled, happy that my Alpha knew so much about the flower that formed my pheromone. “You know so much.”
“The fact that it is a healing flower was enough for me to know. But Ren is so much more than that, such a mysterious and fascinating flower, Jimin...” He nodded as if impressed. “I have to admit that when I smelled Ren in your scent, I was blown away.”
“Oh, is that so?” I tilted my head to hide the heat rising in my cheeks. I was so pleased that something of mine had affected him so much that I almost giggled. Still, I pretended not to care too much. “What's it like, Ren?”
“I don't know how to describe it…” He said after a moment of thought. “It's hard to describe. I meant it when I said it's unique. Ren is unlike any scent you've ever smelled. I've only been able to smell it once. Like I said, it was because of Jae-nim. When he brought Ren, it caused a lot of noise.”
“Why? They wanted to see Ren? Because it's so unique...”
“Not really…” He said. “Ren has many characteristics and names. One of them is the Flower of Betrayal. It is said that it brings disaster and misfortune to the place where it is found, and that it separates spouses.” He didn't look me in the eye, fiddling with his hands in his lap. “It is associated with unfaithfulness.”
Well, that wasn't the explanation I was looking for. It felt like a punch in the gut.
Unfaithfulness…
Betrayal…
That was me… Everything I did… Everything I hid… Everything I couldn't say… But I would never betray him. No. I would never. Suddenly I hated the smell, like everything else, it was a curse. And that was obviously why I hadn't been in heat all this time. If I had gone into heat a long time ago, they wouldn't have let me live because of my scent.
“Have you ever smelled my scent before my heat?” I asked anxiously.
Yoongi shook his head. “No, Ren acted just like itself, hiding its scent and only revealing it when you were in heat.”
Seeing my face drop, he continued. “But don't get me wrong, I told you because you asked. No one will mind. If anyone says anything, come and tell me, okay? I'll put them in their place. No one can say anything about the scent of my Omega.”
“So they will be irritated…” I said, my voice shaking. I was so upset, but at the same time I was flattered to be protected by my Alpha. When Yoongi put his hand on my shoulder and calmed medown, I looked at him softly. “The pack loves you Jimin, you know that. No one will ostracize you because of your scent. I promise, Jae has gotten everyone used to it. Do you know how many people have been saved from dying because of the medicinal teas he made with the Ren flower and its antidote effect?”
“Really?”
“Really. The essence of the flower is very healing, and the thorny leaves and branches surrounding it are all focused on protecting the essence, forming a cage around it. When the sap is extracted and boiled, it has the ability to heal wounds at an amazing speed. It is also one of the few plants that can cure wolves poisoned by wolfsbane.”
“But?” I said in horror. The fact that he was such a knowledgeable Alpha was enough to make me fall in love with him. He was so fascinating. “But the poison in the thorns and leaves is strong enough to take down a bear in minutes. So the flower must be handled with great care and caution. Depending on what you use it for, the meaning of the flower changes. For me, Ren has always been a fascinating flower. I would even like to pick it with my own hands one day.”
“You're not lying, are you?” I asked, my eyes welling up. “Do you think I'm lying?” I wanted to hug him, it only took one word to comfort me and unlike me, he wasn't lying at all.
“"You're right…” I replied as I began to chew my lip. What I had learned had opened new doors in my mind. It had to mean something. Everything had to mean something, but I guess I wasn't smart enough to decipher all those codes.
“Moreover, it is such a scent that when you smell it, it is engraved in your mind, you can never forget it.”
“I was even more curious...”
When Yoongi didn't answer, I changed the subject because that was another thing I wanted to talk about. “But aren't you curious about your scent? If you want, I can describe what it smells like... As best as I can…”
“Yes…” Yoongi said after looking at me with a stunned expression on his face. “I'm actually curious.” This time he seemed to be lying a bit. He must have gotten information about his own scent from those around him because he was in heat before, but he was still polite and didn't argue with me.
I played along, not knowing exactly what the scent notes were, but I knew exactly how they made me feel. “Tell me...” He rested his head on his wrist and turned to me. He looked so handsome that it took my breath away. “What's my scent like?”
“First of all...” I cleared my throat, even though my heat wasn't completely gone, my wolf's dominance over me was over. So what I said would come out of my mouth, consciously, and Yoongi would be aware of it. “You might have noticed that the alphas didn't treat me very well. The alphas around me have always been mean, evil alphas who wanted to take advantage of me. That's why... I've always hated the smell of alphas. They can bring the Omegas to their knees, so the moment I hear their pheromones, I want to run away. They make me feel uncomfortable and weak, and I really hate that…” I paused to catch my breath. “But you're different. You're not like them.”
‘I don't know if it's because you're my soul mate or because you have a really good personality.’
I looked away as Yoongi studied me intently with his wide red eyes. “I've been thinking like that since that first night in the forest.”
“You said your wolf called me...”
“Yes.” I interrupted, about to lie even more. “It trusted you. I understand why it did. It made a good choice.”
“That's... Good to hear…” He cleared his throat. “It really is.”
“And what it means to me... It makes me feel safe. You're not like other alphas, so getting your pheromones makes me feel like I've come home. But I think I'd like your scent even without all that, because you have a really nice scent, Yoongi. How can I describe it?”
“Warm… Woody… Primal and slightly sweet?”
My eyes widened and I looked at him and saw him smiling. He had hit the nail on the head. “That's the description I got from some people.” He explained. “But don't worry, it wasn't Hyuna.”
“I wasn't worried…” I said with slight irritation. Hearing her name made me angry. If the Omega in question was alive, Yoongi would have no chance of seeing me, not even now... I stopped, almost thanking God.
“They often say that my smell is like agarwood. It has a fragrant resin, they call it oud. I have smelled it once. It's not a tree that grows here, it grows more in the northern mountains.”
I didn't even know what that was, and I was tormented that he was so knowledgeable and I didn't know anything about my soulmate. I wanted to find out, I wanted to learn everything, because Yoongi was so indifferent to everything about himself. “It's a beautiful smell, don't you think? I love it... You don't have that intense, threatening, pungent smell like most alphas.”
He smiled shyly, “I know.” I had much more to say, but the conversation was over for him, and when he reached out to pick up the reports again, it was time for me to leave as well. Both my wolf and my body had calmed down and I was very tired. I stood up. “I'll leave you alone, I'm going to take a nap in my room... Study well Yoongi. Thanks for the chat.”
“Let's do it more often…” He said from behind me as I entered my room.
My face lit up. “I'd love to.”
*****
“Are you sure you're okay? I can stay home today too.”
“It's already been two extra days.” I said, shaking my head from side to side. I was fine, really. I'd made it through this time. If I listened to my wolf, I could never leave the Alpha, we couldn't even move on. I didn't want to spoil it anymore.
It was time to move on. I needed some time away from him, some time to think. I needed to clear my head, there were things we needed to talk about and I was determined.
I felt bad again when Yoongi picked up the kimbap package he had prepared for himself to eat at work while I slept. He had also prepared breakfast for today. I couldn't let it go on like this, I was going to make things right, maybe even tell him my secrets and he would tell me that he already loved me, that he knew it was all a game and that he knew I was his soul mate.
My imaginary world was no place to live. How sad, but I was used to it.
“See you tonight. I'll try not to be late.”
“Bye, Yoongi. I'll go for a walk and do some shopping too... I'll be out of the house soon.” I wasn't ready yet and Yoongi was very punctual. So I didn't want him to wait for me.
For some reason, I felt like I was the center of everyone's attention today. After all, I was a Min Omega who had just come out of his first heat. I was the mate of Alpha Min, who was especially admired by the younger Omegas, and everyone was very curious about this heat. I had to be ready for all the questions and not let my guard down.
I had to look good. I was a full Omega now. No one could look at me with pity. Nobody knew it, but I even had a soulmate. Soon I would acquire new virtues and become strong.
Yoongi and I were doing well and it was heaven. From the very first day, I thought that we had come a long way, and it pushed me to other dreams. Dreams that weren't so hard to achieve anymore.
What did I have to lose? I had two choices. Everything or nothing.
I put on a light-colored shirt and pants, draped the fur coat that Hoseok had made for me over my shoulder, and buttoned it up. Beta had worked day and night to finish the fur coat and deliver it to me. I was happy to see my reflection in the mirror, a mighty and powerful Omega, loved and cherished by his Alpha.
This rare bear had hunted for me. For me...
After decorating my hair with elegant white hairpins and putting on my flower earrings, I set out to do what I had set out to do. But first I had to meet Yuri. After walking up the hill to our house and through the woods, I arrived at the Min mansion. After the tragic incident, they had erected two betas at the gate. It seemed like centuries since I had been in this house where my new story was sprouting.
The betas opened the door when they saw me, “Welcome Omega Jimin”
After thanking them briefly, I entered the big white mansion holding my breath. Junhee was the one who greeted me. When Yuri appeared behind her, I couldn't help but smile.
“Ah Jiminie! How nice to see you here! Come in quickly.” She grabbed my back and pulled me to her, giving me a tight hug. “Welcome dear... How are you?” She pulled back and cupped my cheeks, her worried look reminding me of my mother.
“I'm fine Noona, how are you? It seems like forever since we've seen each other... I miss you.”
“We're the same, as always.” As she took my arm and led me into the large, sunlit living room, I met Chaerin-shi and bowed slightly. “Hello Chaerin-shi.”
“We weren't expecting you.” She said with a stern look. “Your heat is finally over.” She added as Yuri and I collapsed onto the cushions. “How are you?”
I stammered, a little surprised. “Fine, thank you.”
“How is my son? We haven't seen him since the hunt, it's like you took him prisoner.”
I recovered before my face turned red. “He's fine, he's back in the training hall. You can be sure I didn't tire him out. We had a great time.”
Wow. It felt good to be able to say that.
Yuri pinched my arm and giggled. “Did it really go well? Tell me if he did anything wrong and I'll give Yoongi a good beating.”
“My son is the nicest Alpha you've ever seen, appreciate him.” Chaerin-shi said, and it was probably the truest thing she'd ever said. It was good to see that his mother cared about Yoongi, because I hadn't felt it that much.
“He really is.” Chaerin-sshi realized when I forgot to take off my fur coat in a hurry. “You're already wearing your fur.”
“I don't want to take it off. It's so beautiful.”
“A rare hunt… I hope you know how lucky you are. Even Dohyun didn't make it this far.” “A hunt so beautiful that I'll hang it on our bedroom wall in the future.” I said, referring to her room. She didn't answer, her face contorted.
“I came here today to see you and Yuri, and then I'm going shopping. May I get up?”
“Thanks for coming…” She mumbled. “Don't make any promises tonight, Taehyung is hosting us at his house. I expect you to come with Yoongi for diner.” She said in a distant tone.
Yuri was surprised. Obviously they had planned a dinner without us. I nodded happily. Slowly but surely I was being accepted into the family. “Sure, we'll come. Thank you.”
“Wait, Jiminie - let me get my coat, I'll come with you!”
I giggled and waited for her as she walked into the foyer, making sure to thank Junhee as she put my boots in front of me. Junhee was someone I liked, even if we didn't have the best start.
“"We didn't get to talk about the maid.” Chaerin-shi said as she came to the door. The scarf around her shoulders hung on the floor. “I'll send the beta I've arranged to your house in a few days. I can feel every nook and cranny needs cleaning.”
This time I flushed, she was absolutely right... The house was literally a mess. I hadn't touched a thing during my four days of heat and hadn't allowed Yoongi either. I nodded obediently, not wanting to contradict her already.
*****
As I walked through the market, where colorful and fresh winter fruits and vegetables were on display, I was the target of curious glances from those around me, and for the first time it didn't frighten me at all. My steps were firm and I could ignore what was being said. Something had definitely changed, maybe the first time I had given my wolf so much space had changed something in me forever.
I bought some seaweed and lettuce while chatting with Yuri. The vendor smiled when I handed him a few silver coins from the purse at my hip. “Good to have you back, Omega Min.”
It felt strange to be called Omega Min, so I nodded and smiled. Beta Nori was the person who had helped me the most with my market purchases since I joined this pack. “Can I have some tangerines?”
“Sure, I just picked them. Are you going to make jam out of them?” She giggled. “Yoongi loved it when he was little.”
I nodded without showing that I didn't know. Was I always going to have to learn the smallest and most necessary details about Yoongi from others? After our talk today, I was hopeful about our future. I could ask him questions that would allow me to explore his life, he had enjoyed our talk. He had given me a chance to get to know him. But I couldn't get too close, there was still a boundary. There were always limits.
“Take these too. Dried fruit will help you recover from the heat. “ She said, squeezing some dried fruit into my pocket. I bowed my head and thanked her for her thoughtfulness, life was becoming more livable by the day.
“I accidentally broke one of the china sets you and I bought together.” I confessed as Yuri came over to me after she finished looking at the china set on the counter. “I'm so sorry.”
“We'll buy you a new one.” She took my arm. “What will you wear tonight? Taehyung has been preparing feverishly for days and he gave us instructions. He said we should dress very elegantly. Of course, we're not supposed to be as stylish as him.” She giggled and I joined in. “I'm curious about Taehyung's house.”
“It's more luxurious than you can imagine.” Yuri said.
“I'm sure it is.”
“You two are so different... Seeing you side by side makes me want to burst out laughing.”She paused as if remembering something. “Did you know that he carried you home when you went into a heat?”
Yes, I only half remembered, and it was a really surprising detail. It was Taehyung of all people who volunteered to carry me. “It surprised me.”
“Me too. But Taehyung is an Omega who doesn't fit the mold. He loves to surprise us by being the opposite of what we expect. He once picked a fight with the big Alphas, claiming that they mistreated Jungkook in the training hall. So much so that the Alpha tried to restrain him with his scent. But Taehyung didn't care and continued to stand up to the big Alpha. Such an elegant and noble Omega in such a situation... It was unbelievable. All the Omegas were in awe of him, mixed with horror. Tough and brave, just like his mother.” She shrugged. “He loves my brother very much, I believe that in my heart.”
“You mean he loves me too?”
“I think he does, but in his own way. You are in a different world from him, he must be afraid of you. That's why he showed you his thorns.”
I was excited to hear that. Taehyung and I had never gotten off to a good start, but there was a part of me that felt I would like him the more I got to know him, and Yuri's words proved it. He was like a Hasu flower. The one that fascinates you when it blooms, the one whose thorns prick your hand first and hurt you...
“Taehyung's family is a very respectable family and it has nothing to do with their lineage. I like Rina-shi a lot. His father is also an Alpha with a very good personality. He's one of the deputy leaders in the pack, you might know him. He and Namjoon have worked very well together.” Yuri paused and looked at a place to our right. That's when I noticed Namjoon standing in front of a shop about ten meters away. The Alpha looked quite interesting in his thick, furry clothes and the weapons strapped from his waist to his chest. I could smell his scent even from here. It didn't bother me, but it would obviously have a bad effect on a vicious, wild Alpha.
The leader, who bowed his head slightly when he noticed us, was soon beside us. “Hello Omega Jimin” He couldn't take his eyes off Yuri and straightened up slightly. “Hello Yuri, how are you?” Anyone would have noticed how his rough, husky voice softened when he spoke to Yuri, and I was embarrassed and excited to witness it.
Yuri really adored him, but not as much as Namjoon adored her. It was obvious! Even I didn't look at Yoongi like that, even though he was my soulmate.
“I'm fine... We're fine. How are you, leader Namjoon?”
Namjoon raised his eyebrows. “I thought we stopped talking formally.” “You're right... Yeah. Anyway... Jimin and I went shopping. We're going to Taehyung and Jungkook's for dinner tonight.”Yuri stopped as if she was going to choke. I could feel her excitement. It was the first time I'd seen her like this, like a foolish lover in love.
“That's great, you got along well with Taehyung, didn't you?”
Yuri responded to the teasing with an eye roll. “Yeah, right.”
“Omega Jimin, how do you like our pack? Anything you noticed, anything you want to change?”
“Me?” I touched a finger to my chest and looked confused. In my previous packs, I was forbidden to even make eye contact with a leader, let alone speak to them. Here, I was appreciated. I gave a quick nod. “No, no, no, no, Leader Namjoon-nim.”
“You don't have to speak so respectfully, it's just us here and you're practically dear Yuri-shi's best friend.”
“Ah... All right. Thank you.” This time, we were both surprised and stared at each other. I didn't know what interested me more, that I was called Yuri-shi's best friend or what he said. At least I had an important position in someone's life.
“Can I talk to you for a second, Yuri?”
Deciding to leave them alone, I made up an excuse and left. The two of them walked side by side, chatting, while I met Rina-shi a little further away. Smiling at the sight of me, the middle-aged Omega looked elegant as always, dressed in a dress that fit her slender figure perfectly, and two Betas carrying what she had bought for herself. “Jimin! Hello dear.” We hugged briefly. “Is your heat over? How are you?”
“Very well, Rina-shi, thank you. I wanted to go for a walk after so many days.”
“You're invited for dinner too, right? Taehyung was going to invite you.”
“Yes, Chaerin-shi told me.”
“Good, good… Then I'll see you there.” She looked at the betas, who were holding bundles of papers. “I'll tell you what, I'm going to the Association from here, I wanted to show you around, why don't you come with me? We're having a little meeting for the new semester, and you can join us.”
“I-but…” I hesitated, what good would I be?
Omega took my arm and encouraged me. “But what? Is it because you can't read or write? All the Omegas and Betas there were just like you when they first arrived. Now they are all making a difference.”
“I want to learn to read and write…” I said, glad to say this goal out loud. “As soon as possible... The sooner the better.”
“That's great! Then we'll start practicing right away.” I said a quick goodbye to Yuri, whom I met on the way, and let her know where I was going.
About ten minutes later, I got out of Rina-shii's family's horse-drawn carriage and stood in front of a two-story wooden building that covered a large area. The compound was already dazzling me with a huge garden and many different kinds of trees. “This place was built many years ago when our pack was founded, it had been badly damaged by fires and invasions, and we, the Kim family, took it upon ourselves to rebuild it. I have been actively running it for ten years now, with fifty-two people working with me. It is a well-known organization that even helps the needy in other packs from time to time.” Before entering through the double doors, she pointed to the sign written in characters I couldn't read. “Saisei…” She said. “We decided to give this place a name that means rebirth.”
“Saisei.” I repeated, learning that it was a concept reserved for certain faiths, the Okami being one of them. It was a special concept to them. . Full of excitement, I thanked Rina-shi for opening the door and entered. I was greeted by a wide hallway and a large fireplace. The light coming in through the windows illuminated the entire room. Immediately in front of me was a staircase of shiny wood leading up. Two people came out of the doors on the right and greeted us when they saw us.
“They are Huji and San-ri. They are like my right hand. You could be one of them. If you want to work here with me.”
“Why me?” I asked, pausing, my hands clasped in front of me. “Out of all the Omegas and Betas, why did you choose me? Don't get me wrong, I'm honored... But I'm curious, do I have any privileges because I'm Yoongi's mate?”
“Honestly, no. No one I take in here is privileged. I wouldn't even take my own son to Saisei that way.” She gave me a warm but distant look. “I saw light in you, Jimin. I think you have a desire to help the fallen and to change this unjust order, that much I've gathered from watching you, but maybe I'm wrong.”
“Every second of my life I questioned the order I was in.” I said. “It was so hard to live in the position I was in, so hard to be an Omega, alone and lonely. I've seen so many bad things. Omegas used as breeders, old people thrown away, Betas sold as slaves in the markets at the age of ten... Maybe I'm not that old, but what I saw was enough for me to understand this life.”
“"That's it…” She said. “There is nothing that cannot be changed by anger and the desire to change things. I've seen that in you, and I'm sure we can make a difference. If you want to join the Saisei, you're always welcome. Come and I'll show you the classrooms.”
I followed her up the stairs, an unbridled excitement in my heart. “We have enough space here for all of them, Omegas, Betas and children. We have two classrooms where we teach the young Omegas to read and write. We also teach writing in the old language. In this classroom we practice the healing arts. We have given a second life to many betas and omegas who wanted to do something else instead of getting married, but never had the opportunity. Some of them have started selling their handicrafts at the Big Pack Market thanks to what they learned here. We encourage them to start a new life. But we still have a long way to go.”
“That's amazing…” I said, my chest swelling with pride. It was wonderful to see Omegas and Betas in public life. The walls were covered with drawings and hand embroidery by members of the fraternity. “I would like to be part of the Saisei.”
“You know what…” She turned to me and took my hands. “Let's take care of your literacy with training in one of these classes. We have a few instructors who have gone to strengthen other packs, so we have very few instructors... And our classes are a little full. But I'm sure we can make room for you.”
I felt embarrassed, and just then the door to our right opened and Alpha Seokjin came out with his daughter. I waved to the little Omega, who recognized me immediately.
When Seokjin stopped next to us, Rina-shi summed up the situation. “Alpha Jin is also our good fortune. His contribution to Saisei is undeniable. He came to our rescue when we were short of instructors. Most Omegas' alphas are against literacy training and want the instructor to be an Omega. But when it comes to Seokjin, everyone trusts him blindly.”
“You see, inequality is ingrained in every fiber of our pack. But I suppose I should be grateful to them, I couldn't do this job if they didn't trust me.”
I nodded, stunned by what I was learning, learning something every step of the way. I was glad that Alpha Jin was in Saisei to teach the Omegas. Like I said, I didn't sense any danger from him.
When Rina-shi suggested, “If you want, you can study reading and writing with Alpha Jin.” I looked at the Alpha. “Would that be okay?”
“We've come so far in my current class, we could do private lessons with you to help you catch up.” Jin said, and I felt like protesting, I didn't want him to go to so much trouble for me. Then he added. “My daughter is also studying here, so I don't have much else to do but spend half the day here anyway.”
“Come on, accept it, Jimin.” Rina-shi tried to convince me. “Is Alpha Yoongi making trouble?”
“No!” I said a little louder. “He doesn't know...” I sighed, I really wanted this to be a surprise, but I didn't know how to keep it a secret that two people knew. Something was on my mind. I wanted to write to him. Even if I couldn't describe my feelings for him. I wanted to admit that I had feelings for him.
I had feelings for him, that was obvious.
“Do you want us to talk to him?”
“Actually, I want to keep it private because I want to surprise my Alpha. Can you help me?”
When they both breathed a sigh of relief and laughed, I joined them.
This time change was starting to sprout right from the center of my heart.
*****
When we finished our business at the association, I took the advice of Yuri, whom I met again at the exit of the association, to tell Yoongi that we were going out for dinner. I went to the large flat area where the training hall was located. It was a large fenced area with a few one-story buildings, and from inside I could hear the sound of swords and children. With the snow falling in flakes, I clutched my bags tightly and walked to the wooden entrance gate. From here I could see the big garden.
Yuri had to spend some more time with me and then leave me because she had to get ready for the evening, and I walked alone to the training hall where I had come running and crying two days before. I knocked on the door, wearing my white bear coat that my Alpha had hunted, fur-lined boots to keep my feet warm, shopping bags in my hands, and red cheeks. I wasn't sure I could just walk into a place where there were so many alphas.
I could still smell my Alpha, stronger than before, and I liked it. As I scanned the garden over the fence, I saw Yoongi talking to a boy near the hut. He was wearing the leather wrist guards that Alphas wore in combat training and a leather sheath around his waist for his sword and knives. The young blond Alpha looked at him lovingly as he squeezed the boy's shoulder, encouraging him.
Soon, the Alphas faced each other in the fighting arena and began practicing with their sharp swords, and I found myself holding onto the fence and watching them, holding my breath. I had never seen Yoongi train before and I was fascinated by the way he interacted with a smaller Alpha and how he treated him. A moment later, when the young Alpha went down with a blow to his back, Yoongi walked over to him and put the tip of the sharp sword to his throat. As far as I could hear, he said the following. “If you hesitate in a duel, you will die, so don't let your guard down for a moment.” Then he reached out his hand and lifted him up.
This time it was the young Alpha who was quick, he spun around and pointed his sword at his instructor and Yoongi ducked his head to the right in a split second to avoid the sword going into his throat.
But I let out a small scream anyway, which I noticed when the Alphas looked at me. As soon as Yoongi and I locked eyes, the Alpha's gaze softened and he sheathed his sword and came to the door. “Jimin?” He asked suspiciously as he opened the heavy door and stood in front of me, “What are you doing here, why didn't you tell me you were coming?”
“I was…” I mumbled, my eyes fixed on the glowing sword. My heart was still beating fast. “What if you had been hurt?”
“Were you afraid for me?” He asked sarcastically, and I nodded, looking at the Alphas watching us. They had left the building they were in. “Why are they looking at us like that?”
“Aren't you going to introduce us to your Omega?” Yoongi gritted his teeth as the middle-aged Alpha shouted from about ten meters away. I grabbed his upper arm, thinking he was uncomfortable. “Was I wrong to come here?”
“No. You weren't.” He turned to face the Alpha. “You already know him.”
“But our students are curious... They have every right to be curious about the omega who's blowing their teacher's mind.”
I focused on Yoongi's flushed cheeks as the Alpha giggled, insanely curious about what was being said in the training room. “Ignore them…” He said in my ear. “They're just babbling.”
“Jimin-shi! Omega Jimin-shi is here.” When a ten-year-old Alpha came down the stairs shouting, I couldn't help but smile and wave to him. “Hello.”
“He waved at us!” Yoongi put his hand to his face as dozens of Alphas suddenly crowded around him. “Oh my God…”
“Oops... If it bothered you that I talked to them...” I mumbled, but I didn't really care. After all, they were just kids! I loved that they were so curious about me. And... I could do a lot to make my Alpha seem a little jealous of me. “They're so cute...”
“In two years they'll be adult Alphas, their blood is boiling…” My Alpha said in a husky voice against my neck as he put his arm around my waist. “And your scent is still strong enough to attract Alphas.”
My eyes widened as I turned red all the way to my throat. “Should I go then?”
“You didn't tell me why you came here? It wasn't to watch me, was it?”
“No, but... When I saw you like that... I thought you were going to get yourself killed... That's why I reacted the way I did.” Trying not to think about the hands on my waist, the little Alphas lost their excitement and dove into the game. We continued to whisper like two secret lovers by the fence. How well we fit together.
“Don't worry, these aren't real swords, otherwise none of the students would have survived.”
“Ah…” I breathed a sigh of relief, “Then everyone can learn close combat.” When Alpha looked at me expectantly, I said what I wanted to say. “We're invited to Jungkook's house for dinner tonight... I just came by to let you know. We'd better go home together, we have to get ready.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “Can't we go?”
“Why not?”
“I don't feel like a family dinner.”
“But your mother invited me, she specifically asked us to come…” I lamented. “Can we really not go?”
He watched me for a while and then sighed in defeat. “Okay, fine. If you really want to.”
When I clapped my hands, he looked surprised, but soon he smiled slightly. Every time he smiled, flowers bloomed inside me. And what happened to the ones on my back? They must have healed for sure.
“Alpha Yoongi? Are you leaving?”
It was the Alpha I had seen two days ago. He gave me a slight nod and stood next to my Alpha. Yoongi said, “I'm just going to submit the daily report. Can you do me a favor and take care of it?” He tightened his grip around my waist. “I don't want my Omega to go home alone.”
The Alpha studied me for a moment, then nodded. “You've been slacking off a lot lately, but the rest of the time you've been working too hard, so we can tolerate it.” He squeezed his shoulder, “And you can go.” He said. “It was nice to meet you, Omega Jimin.”
“Let's go…” Yoongi said as the Alpha walked away. Yoongi led me to the exit, snow covering us everywhere. “Before the snow gets too deep.”
“Sorry to keep you from your work.”
“I was already bored.” After a short silence he added. “Your fur coat suits you.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“Does it keep you warm?”
“Very warm.”
“Your cheeks and nose look like tomatoes.”
“Do they?” He laughed when I grimaced and said, “I'll have to hunt a sable for a hat to keep you warm.”
As people walked by, I took the opportunity to take my Alpha's arm. “I believe you when you say things like that.”
“I mean it, a sable hunt would be a piece of cake for me.”
I laughed, chirping as we walked up the path to our house, and I was that much closer to telling him the truth.
*****
While I was trying to decide what to wear for dinner, Yoongi had already grabbed the first things out of his closet and was getting ready. I frowned when I saw him waiting in the living room. He was wearing only a dark green turtleneck and thick pants. “But Taehyung wanted us to be stylish…” I said disappointed.
He turned to me, I was wearing a white silk shirt and dark pants, my third outfit. In the past, when I didn't have anything, everything was easy, I washed and washed and wore the same clothes, but a closet full of clothes meant trouble. I could never combine them the way I imagined. It was hard work, I would have to work hard to be as successful as Taehyung.
“You look... Stylish.”
I sighed in disappointment. “I was talking about you.”
He looked down at his clothes, stretched out on the big couch, and I remembered that I had lost my place in his lap, and I missed it so much already. I had to do something to make sure I didn't lose him forever. He had to hold me, accept me, love me. Because... He was all I needed.
“Don't you like it?”
“It's not very elaborate...” I squirmed, afraid to cross the line. “But if you like it, I can't say anything.”
After several agonizing minutes, I was the happiest Omega in the world when Yoongi took my suggestion and agreed to wear a dark cotton shirt and a winter tweed jacket. “We really do look like a married couple.” I said as I straightened his collar.
He nodded. “We really are married, aren't we?”
“Yeah, but, you know…”
“Either way, we're married.” He explained after grabbing my wrist and lowering it. As if he didn't like me reminding him that we were in the game. He had passed my test too, he had been so different lately that I couldn't help but get my hopes up.
I couldn't take my eyes off him, nor my heart.
*****
We were both stunned when we saw the horse-drawn carriage that had been sent to our house, but it was Taehyung and it was beyond our comprehension. Alphas usually stay away from horse-drawn carriages, but it was too snowy and he would not leave me alone. So he grumbled and sat down on the seat.
“Taehyung must be out of his mind.”
“It's a nice ride, but admit it...” As we drove through the square, the lights of the neighborhood lit up the night, a visual feast.
“Oh yeah... My Alpha is having a blast.”
Five minutes later, we pulled up to a palatial three-story house and went straight inside, immediately taking in the surroundings. The lights were dazzling, there were candles and kerosene lamps everywhere, and the floors were paved with white marble. I had never seen such an opulent house before.
“Ah! You've finally arrived.” Taehyung appeared in a bright suit, as if to show that he was the star of the night - there was never a night when he was not the star. “Welcome, how was the trip? Honey, take Hyung's jacket.”
“The trip was unnecessary…” Yoongi said as Jungkook did as he was told. “We could have walked.”
“Your Omega looks so happy that his hair didn't get wet in this miserable weather. Did you atleast ask him what he thought?”
When the Alpha rolled his eyes without answering, Taehyung muttered, “The strange pride of these Alphas… Everyone can get in the car. Get out of your cave.”
Taehyung glanced at me as Jungkook and Yoongi went in. I was ready for him to put a handle on my outfit when he winked. “Good job Omega, you're learning how to dress.”
“Yeah?” I let out the breath I was holding. “Is it okay?”
“Eh... Okay… It will take you years to become a fashion expert like me.” He gave my tasseled pin a little peck and sneered, then muttered, “Throw this in the trash right now. It's a disaster. God, who buys you these? That know-it-all Yoongi-shi?”
Hey, no one was going to badmouth my Alpha to me. I frowned and went into aggression mode, actually touching the pin my Alpha had bought me before I was even married. “What's wrong with it? I think you're just jealous.”
He let out a rude laugh. “Me? I'm jealous of you?”
“You can't take your eyes off my fur…” I argued. If I gave him a rival like him, maybe he'd open his eyes a little. “Like we don't get it.”
I enjoyed watching the expression on his face. I almost giggled. If I listened to my wolf, I'd probably fight him head to head. God… It was so vicious... It would probably bring Taehyung out of the watery stream without water. I was glad to have it.
“Oh my God! You're so mean.”
“You started it first. And you're supposed to be younger than me, where's the respect for your elders?” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him, he looked glamorous, but I didn't give him any color. “You talk shit about me, but that belt you're wearing is really bad.”
“Oh! I can't believe my ears!” He screamed. “Do you know how old this is? It's from tribal times, priceless…“
“But it's tacky.”
“I'm interrupting, but...”
“Shut up Jungkook!” Taehyung stomped his foot and sighed. “You better stay out of my sight for a while, Jimin-shi!” I heard him whisper as he snuggled into Jungkook's arms and walked towards the living room. “I told you he's no good... He's just a demon… He showed me.”
I couldn't help but chuckle as I looked after him... No, he couldn't upset me. After what had happened between us and what I had observed, I realized that he was a flower waiting to sprout under the ground. A flower that had been watered constantly, so much so that it had eventually drowned in the water, delaying its sprouting. He was nothing but a young Omega with the attention of his family, the love of his Alpha, nothing beyond his reach, his inexperience, and what he thought he knew. With a little molding and shaping, something truly perfect could be created this time.
When Yoongi appeared in the foyer, I came to my senses and quickly walked into the living room and sat down at the long rectangular table that was waiting for us. It was set up in the manner of a noble family. There was everything from summer fruits to drinks that I had never seen before. With Taehyung's father's permission, we all started to eat. I sat next to my Alpha, with Yuri to my right. Taehyung sat in the chair next to his father and stared at me. I had to admit that when I saw him raiding the hut, I was scared and bared my teeth, but now it was all like a childhood memory.
We both got what we wanted.
“Bon appetit…” I said, smiling at my Alpha, who nodded back. “You too, dear.”
Dear. I'd never wanted to be so dear. His tone had changed, it no longer felt so dry and raw, no longer pricked me like a needle. Or maybe I'm deluding myself.
First we were served vegetable soups, then light starters and a main course of well-cooked brisket. Finally, a dessert made from a main ingredient called cacao, found only in the central Arashi forests, and my stomach was full.
“That was the best thing I've ever had…” I said, unable to resist, and then, as everyone stared at me, I wiped my mouth with a dark napkin, trying to hide my embarrassment.
“You've never had cocoa dessert before?” Taehyung asked as he crushed the dessert on his gold enameled plate with his fork. “What a waste of a life…”
“Not everyone is born as lucky as you…” Yoongi grumbled, and I liked the way he protected me. He did it every time he had the chance, being my arm, my tongue. Didn't that show that he was interested in me, that his opinion of me had changed?
“Taehyung must have prepared the dessert with his own hands.” Chaerin praised, trying to lighten the mood.
Taehyung rolled his eyes and smiled. “Mom... Come on. Just the dessert?” He looked at me again. “I made everything you ate. I'm so handy…” Then he looked at Yoongi. “And it has nothing to do with me being born lucky, I was born with a knack.”
“I'm sure Jimin cooks delicious food too.” Rina-shi said in complete innocence.
“Well, we expect a dinner invitation from them as well.” Chaerin said. “They don't seem to be ready. Newlyweds are expected to throw big parties at home.”
“Jimin doesn't have to keep up with all the traditions.”
I took my Alpha's hand on the table, warm and firm. I pressed my lips together and smiled. “It would be an honor to have you in my home. Whenever you want...”
“Good.”
“Your heat got in the way, you may not be able to adjust to real life. I'm here if you need help.”
“That's very kind of you, I can handle it myself, Taehyung.”
*****
When the meal was over, I was getting up when Yoongi leaned into my ear and asked in a playful voice, “Did you think of me when you invited them to dinner? How am I going to do all the cooking by myself?” I frowned and said quietly, “You are so mean…”
Everyone got up from the table and went to the balcony to take in the view. My Alpha followed me up the stairs to do the same, and when I got to the balcony where the Alphas and their mates were sipping their drinks and chatting, I didn't speak to him. For some reason, I felt like I had to be flirtatious, but there was nothing between us but a play relationship. Was there? There had to be…
As I wrapped myself in the silk scarf that had been left on my shoulders, I smiled to see that it was Yoongi who had made the gesture. “Thank you…”
“You're welcome.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and walked to the railing. The view from the suspended balcony overlooked the entire pack and the vast forest. It was breathtaking. As I looked at my Alpha, I noticed the stars in the sky shining in his eyes. He was even more stunning. I hugged my scarf tighter and sighed peacefully. “I feel like something has changed between us forever…” I managed to say, and I couldn't believe it.
Heart pounding, I waited for Yoongi to snap at me, but he shrugged, his dark shirt unbuttoned two buttons, exposing his white neck. The scent of me still lingered on him. “We're doing good…” He whispered. “Let's keep it up.”
The sentence squeezed my soul and rattled the walls of my body. Could we keep doing this?
“I hope so…” I said, my voice breaking. “I hope we can…”
“Do you have any doubts? I don't think I'm too wild anymore, I think I'm getting better.”
“You've never let me down, you're a good Alpha.”
“But?”
“Maybe I'm not a good Omega…”
“Nonsense!” He grumbled. “Taehyung's words made you think that? Don’t mind him, they're too young, they don't know what life is.”
I wish they were the problem. I couldn't stop my eyes from tearing, even though I was biting my lip, and I couldn't speak. And Yoongi took it badly. “Let's go inside, come on…” As he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him, he said, “Don't worry, everyone has their own way.”
Tonight was too much for me. I was one step closer to confronting Yoongi and it broke me. What was I going to do if I told him? I wasn't prepared for his reaction.
But I wasn't going to run away anymore. Living with these secrets wasn't living. Every night I woke up in fear, I had nightmares, I cried, the times I was happy were limited and the doubts and worries were endless. It had to end now, if it was going to end, it had to end.
When Taehyung offered to show Yuri and me around the house, I didn't refuse. The truth was that I was curious about every room. It seemed so pretentious compared to our little home, but I would still choose our home over a palace where I could get lost in its rooms.
As we entered a large room, I realized it was already being prepared for the pups. I held my face as if it would fall off. It was beautiful, every detail had been carefully thought out. I touched the pink silk drapes. “It's a lovely room.”
“Isn't it too early? Why have you furnished the room already?” Yuri asked.
Taehyung crossed his arms over his chest. “I'm not too curious either, I'm just a young Omega, I don't think about pups all the time…” He rolled his eyes. “It's all Jimin's fault.”
“What did I do?” I said confused.
“You went into a heat. You can't have a baby before me, I can't accept that. Do you understand? I can't. I hope you were sane enough to use protection.”
Yuri scolded him as I blushed. “What? Lie? Jimin would do anything to annoy me. Don't look so nice.”
“What's wrong with you, my God. Are you a child, Taehyung?”
“I'm almost nineteen! You're the child, Yuri-shi!”
“We don't think about children.” I said and decided for my Alpha. I couldn't think about pups without fixing things between us, without securing my future. “I mean, for now. This year... We're not."
“There's no problem, is there?”
“Why should there be? Does everyone here have pups as soon as they get married?”
“Usually… Our pack population has to grow.”
I nodded at Yuri, but I didn't agree. “It's a decision I can make. After all, I'll be carrying them. I love children, but... It will take time until I feel ready.”
Taehyung's hand rested on my shoulder. I was surprised. “You're so right Jimin-shi. Just give yourself time. Don't rush.”
I almost thought he was thinking of me, but instead of arguing, I did the Hyung thing and shrugged. “Okay then. I promise to wait for you.”
His eyes lit up and I saw a boy struggling there… A boy who had always been a favorite but never really seen… “Really?” Then he thought he was exaggerating and his expression hardened. “I mean... Thank you.”
“Making pups is not a race for me. But if it is for you, feel free to take first prize.”
*****
“Did you and Taehyung get close tonight or was it my imagination”" Yoongi insisted that we walk home, so I held on to my Alpha to keep from slipping as we trudged through the cold air.
“We made a deal.”
“What deal?”
“I'll have a baby after him. Not before.” I laughed. “Looks like we have to be extra careful with our heats from now on.”
Yoongi panicked. “I… I've been careful…”
That night was both more beautiful and more terrifying than any other. Because I had made up my mind, I would tell him tomorrow.
It was good because Yoongi didn't leave me alone and when I was deep in thought. He knocked on my door and came into our bedroom. He was true to the promise we made before my heat, but I put it down to something changing. He wanted to sleep next to me. Perhaps his wolf had become attached to my wolf, and it was his wolf that ruled the alpha. Still, I felt entitled to be happy. I tried very hard not to snuggle into his chest and hug him. Finally I turned my back to him and wished him good night, but I couldn't sleep at all.
All I did was dream about tomorrow and pray that it would be good.
*****
(Next Day)
“Can you come home early tonight?” I asked, leaning against the door as my Alpha stepped out into the cold air. “I'll make dinner for both of us.”
A quick look crossed Yoongi's face. “You're not going to try to poison me, are you?”
“Come on... I'm trying... I'll do my best.”
“I'm being sarcastic, Jimin, and you take offense right away.” He nodded his head quickly. “Of course I'll come. How about six?”
“Too early! I can't make it.” I curled my lip, “Eight?”
“Okay…” He laughed. “Don't push yourself, you'll learn slowly.”
After passing the Alpha, I closed the door behind me and breathed steadily for a while to slow my racing heart.
We were better than we had been in days, Yoongi was fine. My soul knew that he was fine. He was happy. He was happy with me. When he found out who I was, he could have given us a chance. He would have…
He should have…
I could have spent the whole day thinking about it, eating and walking around the house, but I put all that aside and went with the flow. Half an hour after sending Yoongi off, I put my apron, which had never been opened, around my neck and entered the small kitchen. This house would be my home. In this house, our love would blossom, we would live our love in this house, and when the day came, we would pass that love on to our pups.
Yoongi was a good Alpha. Despite all the disagreements and conflicts, I wouldn't have wanted anyone else but him. I was used to him. Our union, not even a month old, felt like it had been going on for centuries. But the foundation was not solid, and it seemed to be my job to make it so.
First, I made a menu in my head based on the information I'd gotten from the pack. I wanted to make Yoongi's favorite dishes and desserts. I started by making the cinnamon apple cake. My first attempt failed when I overdid the measurements and my dough got a strange consistency, but I didn't mind. I didn't expect to succeed on my first try anyway, and when I tried again with my apron and clothes covered in flour, I got a better consistency, but half the ingredients ended up in the trash. Still, I breathed a sigh of relief when he put the cake in the oven with the wood underneath.
I was a complete idiot, there was almost nothing I was good at. By the time I plunged back into making bulgogi, which I had learned from Chaerin-shi was one of Yoongi's favorite dishes, I had already forgotten about the cake in the oven, and by the time I saw the black smoke rising from the stove, it was too late.
I didn't even have time to mourn the ashes of the cake I pulled out of the oven. The clock struck six. How fast! And it was only nine in the morning just now. Grumbling bitterly, I threw the cake in the garbage and took it outside so Yoongi wouldn't see it. He would have made fun of me, and I deserved it. I really was a disaster. Even though I had worked for families all this time, none of them had ever considered me capable enough to enter their kitchens. So I had always survived by running errands. I looked down at my calloused hands and realized that if I had been an Omega in the kitchen, they wouldn't have had hoe marks. Yuri was right, Taehyung and I were different from head to toe.
We were also different with Yoongi, even though we were soulmates. Maybe I didn't deserve him in the first place. I don't know. I straightened my posture and continued chopping the fresh brisket before I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown. As I chopped the onions, tears began to roll down my cheeks and trickle down my chin, as if I had been waiting for this moment. I felt like I needed to cry for relief, and the onions helped a lot.
“God…” I said, lifting my head to the ceiling. “Help me... Please... Please let the evening be good. Let me close my eyes to a night in which my Alpha now knows and accepts me.”
As another two hours passed, my back and legs ached, my mental depression and distress reflected in my body. I had been so hard on myself... As the clock struck eight, I hurried to set the long table in the living room. The house was still a mess, and I had no time for that. Anyway, Chaerin-shi had said he would send a beta to the house tomorrow, an offer I accepted even though I didn't want to.
I continued to set the table, none of the unique delicacies Taehyung had prepared were on our empty table. It would have been nice to have a cocoa dessert, Yoongi had liked it too. But that was all I could do tonight. A burnt and shattered cinnamon cake and bulgogi, of which I only managed to salvage a few slices on the third try, and a plate full of fish kimbap, the only thing I could get right.
I left the food on the table, piled it on the plates Yuri and I had bought, but something was missing. Then I remembered the pretty flowers and candles on Taehyung's table. Flowers... Oh yes! Orange geraniums and winter hyacinths! I ran out to the porch and broke the flowers I had planted a few days ago and put them in porcelain vases on the table. As I lit the long, thin candles and created a dim atmosphere, I felt proud of my work. It was a good start, and I hoped it wouldn't be the end.
I was so anxious and excited that my teeth were chattering and I was shivering, even though it was warm in the house. How was I going to do it? Where should I start? Should I begin by talking directly about my feelings?
‘At first I didn't have any real feelings for you… Everything happened over time. Even though I've been looking for you for years, what I found was nothing like I'd imagined. I know you don't understand what I'm saying now... I felt just like you did that night... The night you found me… In the woods... In the woods when you found me and I ran straight to you. All my life I've been running to you. Sometimes I lost my way, sometimes I lost my light, but my hope always picked me up from whereI fell. I have tried so hard, Yoonie… I have suffered so much to see the day when I could call you Yoonie. And then you came into my life. One moment I wished you had never come into my life and the next moment... I had lost my heart to you. How could I not? Somewhere inside you must have known what we meant to each other because the way you reached out to me... It was like a soulmate. You don't even realize it, but we are each other's mate, Yoonie. We are soulmates... Look, these are my flowers that have been waiting to be complete with you since the moment I was born. We have been waiting for you.’
Or should I have been accusatory and manipulative and let him fall into my net and fall to my knees?
“You were so stupid that you never saw us. You always walked around me, you told me to my face that you were waiting for a soulmate. Can you imagine how many times I died when you told me you made your ring thinking you had a soulmate? And how did it feel when you touched the flowers on my waist and I couldn't tell you? Don't blame me Yoongi. If there's no cure, it's on you. I didn't do anything… I didn't have a single person in the whole world to lean on. I thought I could be with you…I thought I could lean on you... But you didn't even recognize me. How could you not recognize your soulmate? How could you do this to me? I can't even ask you to account for it because no one is judged for what they don't know. But even now I'm being punished by your look. Even though I'm not guilty. I can still take my share. And you? What punishment will you suffer for not knowing me, your soul mate?”
I didn't know how he would react if I told him all this. I couldn't read him and his reactions yet. He was still a closed box to me, only a single keyhole opened, through which I could barely see inside. It was dark.
I wiped my sweaty palms on the loose, flowing pants I was wearing. Did I look good? I had even tried to put on special makeup for tonight. A dark color on my eyelids and glossy lips... I lookedat my reflection in the mirror. If I looked good enough to take Yoongi's breath away, maybe he would accept my words. What a fool I was! I felt so desperate right now that I had to rely on every little hope. I had to breathe. With the sound of my heart echoing in my ears, I sat down at the table and drank cold water. I had even brought some wine for diner. A southern drink that Yoongi had lined up in the liquor cabinet in the living room.
Then there was a knock at the door.
This was where we started, he arrived just as the clock struck eight. My Alpha was on time. And he had listened to me.
When I opened the door with a faint smile on my face. He handed me a paper package. “What's this?”
“You had really liked it…” He mumbled as he came in and took off his jacket.
As soon as I took it out, I was surprised to smell what it was, “Yoongi! You bought cocoa desert! But… You said they don't sell them here.”
Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly. “I was doing business at Joel Inn today, and I ran into a vendor there, so I thought I'd buy some.”
I almost cried, I was so caught up in him thinking about me and we both knew he was lying. He was only there to buy that dessert. Unlike me, every time he lied, he averted his eyes and blushed slightly.
“You make me so happy… Thank you.”
“Don't mention it.” He sniffed around and finally his eyes met the table on the right.
“Shall we eat?”
“You really made it…” We sat at opposite ends of the long table, it felt lonelier that way. I couldn't touch him when I reached out. An abstract expression that I hoped would be the last tonight…I wanted to be able to touch him to my heart's content. He pulled out a chair and smelled the food I was putting on his plate. “It smells good...”
“I hope you like it…” I said hesitantly. “I also made kimbap... And a cinnamon apple pie. I heard you like all that food… And… I wanted to make more, but... This is all I can do for now. I'll make more when we have your parents over for dinner.”
Yoongi nodded and popped some bulgogi into his mouth, and so did I. The meat didn't fall apart in my mouth like it did when he made it, and it was a little too salty. But I had tasted it! Even I made a grimace while Yoongi chewed and swallowed the food and then said, “Well done… It's delicious. Thank you for your efforts, you will get better as you try.”
“You don't have to eat it if you don't like it…” I said, my voice cracking. “It's too salty... I won't be offended if you don't eat it.”
“I like it too salty.” He stuck another fork in his mouth. Chewed and chewed.
Oh, dear God... I was falling in love with him.
“Yoongi…” I couldn't take it anymore and slammed the fork down on the table, making a small noise and the Alpha frowned. I poured wine into a crystal glass and drank it down, hoping it would loosen my tongue even though it tasted disgusting.
“Jimin…”
“I have something to tell you.”
“I'm listening.” He took a small sip of his own wine and leaned back in his chair, studying me intently. I wanted the two meter distance between us to be zero. I wanted him to comfort me, to soothe me. He was all of my problem and my only cure.
“I..." I swallowed, all the words in my head flying out. “I'm... very happy…”
“That's good to hear.”
“I'm lucky to have married you. That little fight between us... We've been at each other's throats many times since then. I remember blaming you so many times in my heat, I want to apologize. I really didn't mean it.”
“Let's let bygones be bygones.”
“I agree. Let's turn over a new leaf. Things have changed between us, don't you think? We talk more, we trust each other more. It feels more real every day, and it's easier for both of us. Who wants to live in the same house with someone you've never met? For life...” Where was I going?
“I see…” The Alpha said, fidgeting uncomfortably. “You may be right.”
“Aren't you happy with the way things are? I mean... I thought...”
“Don't think badly right away. And don't talk about our limits. I didn't mean anything bad.”
“And say what?”
“It makes me happy to see you happy. I guess it means we're getting used to each other. Your heat... It was a blessing in a way. It kind of broke the ice between us. You're right, I wouldn't want to share a bed with a stranger either.” He shook his head thoughtfully and lowered his eyes to his glass.“I'm eager to get to know you.”
I am eager to meet you.
I wanted to tell him tonight, with my heart in my hands, that I love him.
Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe I should have been the first in our relationship to confess my love so that Yoongi would follow me.
“Besides all that, I have something important to tell you.”
Our eyes locked and I could see the fire-like pupils of the Alpha flickering. I studied his face carefully, memorizing every shape.
And there was a great commotion outside.
Suddenly, the strong scent of many Alphas filled my nostrils, and as I fearfully ran after my Alpha. He gestured for me to get behind him, stepped in front of me, and opened the door that was being kicked open.
From where I was hiding behind him, I saw that it was an Alpha from the training hall.
“Yeonbin! What's going on?”
“Alpha Min…” The Alpha grabbed the door, panting as if he had come running. Right behind him was an Alpha armed with a gun. With my heart pounding, I tried to figure out what was going on.
“Alpha Jungkook…” The one behind him said. “Tonight it was his and his team's turn to stand guard in the forest to secure the border. The wildlings attacked and Jungkook was wounded. Soobin from Jungkook's team could barely carry him back to the pack, so we came right away to let you know. Now he's in the training hall…”
“Is he hurt?” Yoongi yelled. “How is he? Is he okay? Tell me Jungkook is okay now.” That was the first time I saw fear in the eyes of my Alpha, who was also wearing his jacket. He was panicked. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“He's unconscious...”
“Did you call the healer?”
“Yes, Junghae went to call him.”
“Did you inform the healers of the other packs?”
“I didn't think that's necessary.”
“What does it matter what you think, just do what I say.”
He was just leaving the house when he turned to me as if he had forgotten something back there. I rushed at him. “Don't worry about me.”
“I'm sorry Jimin...”
"Go and do what you have to do right now Yoongi. Find a way to cure him.” I shivered, wondering how Taehyung would feel when he heard this. “I'll pray for Jungkookie.”
His warm fingers rested on my cheek for a moment, then he closed the door and disappeared. What could I say? God must have had better plans for us, but I wish he hadn't included Jungkoo k in them.
Chapter 19: Heal
Summary:
“Jimin couldn't look his Noona in the eyes while he took a sip of tea. Lying to everyone was eating him up inside. “If someone you trusted so much hid something big from you... How would you handle it?”
Yuri didn't even suspect. He thought it was a rhetorical question. “I don't know... I think I would lose trust and I would never trust him again... I would throw him out of my life and put him in a corner...”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
- "I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true"
As Jungkook's bleeding body was carried by his fellow Alphas from last night's watch team, the Alphas stopped what they were doing. It took them ten minutes to get to the training hall at the entrance to the Kim district.
They laid Jungkook's body on a long table in one of the huts, a classroom where students were studying, and began removing the weights to examine his wound. At the same time, they pushed the little Alphas away. “We're done for the day, everyone go home.”
“Someone go and tell the Kim and the Min family! Hurry! Seungri, call the healer too! Hurry up.”
“Jungkook. Jungkook, can you hear me?” The older and more experienced of the Alphas shoved Chan, who was carrying Jungkook. “Move, fool.” The young Alpha's head tilted slightly to the right as he tapped Jungkook's pale cheeks. They looked like they had been scratched by sharp bushes.
“Shit…”
“Will he wake up?”
“Of course he will, you idiot!”
“We don't even know how the hell...”
“It's a miracle this pack survived if you can't even protect yourselves!”
The Alpha scolded the collapsed young man next to him. Then he turned back to Jungkook. He knew he shouldn't have interfered before the healer arrived. But the Alpha seemed to be losing a lot of blood. He could see the fresh wound in his leg and stomach. His black leather guard suit and battle coat were soaked in blood. For the Alpha who knew him as a child, this was undoubtedly a difficult moment.
In packs, death always came unexpectedly. You never got used to it.
He swallowed painfully, luckily he didn't have to deal with this moment for long. He had angrily chased everyone out of the room and pressed clean rags he had found in the training hall against the Alpha's wound, trying to stop the blood. After that, all the Min Alphas were already in the large classroom.
When Yoongi saw his brother bleeding on the desks where they had been studying, he grunted hoarsely, his mind reeling. “Jungkook!” Yoongi said as his father rushed to examine his precious son, “Where's the healer?”
“We called...”
“How did this happen? Where are the Alphas with him?”
“They're fine…” The old Alpha replied. “It only happened to Jungkook.”
“There must be a reason…” He felt like vomiting as he stood in front of his father to examine his brother's wounds. If only I were in his place, he thought. Then it wouldn't hurt so much. Jungkook was his only brother. He didn't deserve to lie lifeless on such an uncomfortable table. He clenched his teeth, he had to calm down. Whoever did this to him would pay dearly.
He pulled the bleeding cloth from the Alpha's abdomen. He pulled the torn cotton tunic up, exposing Jungkook's blood-soaked skin. The wound began to turn purple, as if it had waited a long time. And they had waited a long time too. He looked at the window, still no one came. “Where are you, Jae?” He muttered, seconds felt like years.
“Shit…” He said again. It was clear that his brother hadn't been injured by arrows or sharp objects. “Wolf attack.” He said, examining the teeth marks.
“Yes. I didn't want to intervene until you arrived.”
“If he had been wounded by an arrow, we would have been able to tell which pack it belonged to by the seal on the arrow.” His father said. He looked desperate, his grey hair dishevelled, his face pale as a sick man's.
Yoongi put his hand on his brother's cheek. He would have cried if no one was around. He couldn't believe what had happened. He had to do something. “Kook…” He said in a weak voice. “You'll be all right.” His brother's hand slid lifelessly across the table. Yoongi felt his heart ache, as if he were gasping for breath. He began to blame himself for not having shown him more love, for not having let him be in need of even a smile. He couldn't live if something happened to him. What was the point of living if he couldn't even protect the one Alpha he was supposed to protect?
Just before he could devour himself, Healer Jae came in like the wind, a leather bag slung over his arm. “Yoongi…” He said calmly as he approached, “How is he?”
Yoongi stepped back immediately. He had spent many years as an apprentice to Jae and had decided that this was not his life's purpose and had left with a feeling of emptiness. He had spent part of his life like a poor bird, unable to hold on to a branch. Despite this, Jae had stuck by his side and had always asked him to be there for him when he had important medical cases. Yoongi never imagined that one day he would give this speech for his brother. It would hurt Yoongi even if his knee bled.
“Yoongi?” The healer repeated. “I asked you a question.”
“Speak up!” His father shouted.
“Min Dohyun, go outside!” It was Jae, a beta but with a strong posture, who gave the warning. He knew the place was filled with Dohyun's threatening pheromones, even if he couldn't feel it. It wasn't good for Yoongi, his father wasn't good for him. “It wasn't a request, if I have to treat your son, only Yoongi should be here.”
Dohyun was seething with anger, but he couldn't bite the hands that would save him. As he stormed out, the Beta approached Yoongi. Yoongi's already white skin turned even paler and his eyes filled with tears. “Are you okay, son?”
“Heal him Jae-nim.”
“I'll do my best, you have to help me.”
Yoongi nodded and stood over his brother, “Wolves…” He said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Now was not the time to be weak. “We think he was attacked by wolves. He was bitten in several places, on his leg, shoulder and chest cavity. He's badly injured, but he's clearly struggling. He has someone else's blood on his face.” He paused. “Kook was always a fighter.”
“Just like you.”
He swallowed hard. He clutched his brother's bloody hand, hanging down, his skin growing cold. He had to light the fire in the corner of the room. “Will he be all right?”
“We'll have to stitch his wounds first, you've lost enough time. This probably happened an hour and a half ago.” He looked at the wound in the Alpha's abdomen with the magnifying glass. “The teeth marks are still fresh, but the wound looks pretty bad. We need to mix arnica with liquorice and centaury to make an ointment. Can you prepare the ointment while I sew the wound?”
He had prepared it many times before. It was a common remedy for wolf attacks and he had seen it work. But now his hands were shaking. When Jae ordered him a little more firmly, Yoongi snapped out of his thoughts. He took the small jars of herbs out of the bag and put them in a small bowl, mixing them with some water. He had to hurry. His back was turned to Jungkook, Jae had finished cleaning the wound on his stomach and was stitching it up. If the wounds were bad enough, the wolves wouldn't allow the transformation. Yes... But had he received these wounds in wolf form? He knew nothing, had nothing to hope for. His eyes went to the dark trails of blood that had dripped onto the floor as they brought him in.
He felt like vomiting, the only smell he could detect was the strong, pungent smell of blood. It was the smell of his younger brother, his loud-mouthed Alpha brother. While he was sitting at the table with his Omega, chatting away in the warmth of his nest, his brother was on the brink of death. How could he not feel it? Jae said something behind him as the herbs in the bowl turned to mush. His ears were deaf.
“Yoongi!”
He turned quickly, “Don't dawdle! We can't waste time, you'll regret it later. This behaviour doesn't suit you, you have to be strong.”
Yoongi said nothing, the bandage was ready, Jae was waiting for him. “Put the ointment on the wound and bandage it. I'll clean the wound on his leg.” Yoongi nodded, but Jae didn't feel comfortable, the poor Alpha's fingers were trembling. He touched his shoulder reassuringly. “You can do it, Yoon.”
He could. He had no other choice. He took a deep breath, it wasn't his brother lying lifeless in front of him, it was someone he didn't know, it might be easier if he thought of it that way. He focused his eyes on his wound and applied the greyish ointment to the cleaned and sealed wound with his hand. He was glad that they hadn't sealed it with fire this time. Jungkook was in enough pain already. “We have to seal the wound on his shoulder.” Jae said, gritting his teeth.
“Is there no other way?”
“We have to do it this way so it will heal more easily. It can open when we sew it.”
When he had finished, with his hands shaking, he wrapped the white cotton bandage tightly around his brother's thin waist and closed it over the wound. Even though it had all happened in a few minutes, it felt like a very long time. He blocked his ears, even to the angry voices he heard through the door. Until his brother moved. They were just beginning to close the wound on his shoulder.
“Jungkook.” He leaned over quickly. Yoongi grabbed his brother's bloody and wet hair as the young Alpha's weak pheromones spread uncontrollably. “Kook. It's me, your Hyung.”
“M-hm-water...” The coughing Alpha barely opened his eyes after a moment. Yoongi quickly returned with the water he had poured for him and gave him a sip. “You're okay. You'll be fine.”
“I- what happened?” He looked around, “Where am I?”
“Shh - you're safe…” He impulsively pressed his forehead against his brother's, forming a wolfish bond with him. “We're in the training hall. You were attacked a bit. We'll talk later.”
“What? An attack?”
“Yes. Don't you remember?”
He stared blankly for a moment, then his eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and he snorted. “Shit…” He said in incomprehensible rage as he raised his left hand slightly with difficulty. “Fuck you, you stupid Jungkook!”
“Jungkook, calm down.” Jae said and grabbed him. He was holding a pair of iron tongs, the tip slightly red from the heat. “I'm going to seal the wound on your shoulder with fire.”
Yoongi swallowed. Just like he had done with Jimin's wound… “Take my hand, Hyung.”Jungkook said as he leaned his head back. Even in this situation he wanted to get what he could out of his brother. Yoongi took the Alpha's big hand without question. He smiled when he felt his fingers brush his skin. His awakening had already made him the happiest Alpha in the world. “You'll be fine.”
“It will hurt a little.”
Just then, the door opened and Taehyung walked in, wearing a long, fur-collared coat over his pretentious nightgown, his raven hair disheveled. “Oh my God! Jungkookie-“ His sentence was cut short when he hiccupped. He looked devastated. He rushed to his Alpha's side with shaky steps, pushed Yoongi aside and jumped on his Alpha's neck. He started to sob and whispered incomprehensible things. “I thought you were dead… I-I thought you would leave me. Idiot! It drives me crazy that you're so careless.” He retreated. “How are you, Kookie, where does it hurt? Tell your Omega.”
Yoongi grabbed the Omega's shoulder and tried to pull him back, it was still unclear what had happened to his brother. “Don't tire him out Taehyung, let us.”
“Let me go!” He hugged his Alpha tighter and Jungkook lifted his strong arm and wrapped it around his waist. “I'm fine, sweetheart. I'm like a rock. Like I promised you... I'll be up in a few days and we'll go to Pairin together.”
“Shut up!” Sniffling, the Omega wiped his eyes and stepped back, the color in his eyes mixing with the tears. He looked at his Alpha's pale face. He felt sorry for him, not caring about the journey they were about to take. “I just want you to be okay.”
Jae interrupted. “Now if you'll excuse me, I have to seal his wound.” Taehyung screamed as he realized that the arm he was leaning on had hit the Alpha's wound. “Fuck! Why didn't you tell me that I stepped on your wound?”
“You did?” Jungkook tried to smile but his face contorted, obviously in great pain. “I was wondering why it didn't hurt anymore.”
This time Yoongi grabbed the Omega and pulled him away from the Alpha and out the door. Only Yuri could hold Taehyung there. “We'll seal Jungkook's wound, stay here.”
“Let me in! He's my mate - I can help him.”
“Please Taehyung…” Yoongi said. It was the first time he was so polite to him. “You're making it hard for us. You don't want to see your Alpha like this - that's what he would want.”
“He's awake! Why do you talk like he's dead?”
Yoongi rubbed his forehead with his hand. “We don't know what happened to him yet, it's possible that he will pass out when we seal the wound. We suspect that he has poison in his body.”
Omega's dark eyes widened as tears streamed down his face. Yuri held him as he lowered himself to the ground. The Alpha needed to tend to his brother as soon as possible, and when he returned, he stuffed a clean rag into the Alpha's mouth so he wouldn't scream too loudly and hurt his vocal cords. “It's going to hurt a little, Kook.” He said as he looked lovingly at his brother, “But you can take it.”
When Jae brought the reheated tongs closer and pressed them to the wound on the Alpha's shoulder, the sound of burning made Yoongi sick to his stomach. Then the young Alpha screamed until his face turned crimson. He had a cloth in his mouth, so it wasn't audible. But the smell alone told him how much pain he was in.
At that moment Yoongi realized what a tough Omega Jimin was. If only he hadn't realized it like that. And Jimin... How could he have left him and come here without even having the time to wonder what the Omega had to say to him?
Jungkook continued to writhe and passed out from the pain and the strong medicine the healer made him sniff. Yoongi took the rag from his mouth, tossed it aside and quickly began to treat the wound on his leg. “It might take a few weeks for his wounds to heal…” Jae said. “It looks like the attackers wanted to injure him, not kill him. We can't tell if there's any poison in his system right now. We have to wait until he wakes up. But if you ask me, he could have been poisoned with a mild poison. Look, the bite wound in his abdomen is turning purple.”
“But why? Why Jungkook in particular?”
“We'll get the answers from him. For now, let's take the Alpha home and let him rest. I'll come by often to see how his wound is, it could get worse, you know.”
“It won't.” He cut him off, the rate of poisoning in wolf attacks was low. He had no idea how many there had been, if they'd had an effect on Jungkook with their scent, what exactly had happened. He really wanted to find out. If only things weren't so primitive. Most of the deaths in the packs were caused by sneak attacks like this. When he came out of the classroom, he saw many people waiting outside. Everyone wanted to see if their dear friend was all right. As he stepped outside, Yuri rushed over to Yoongi. “Tell me he's okay.”
“He'll be fine, Noona.” He looked into her frightened eyes and nodded, squeezing her hand. All he really wanted was a warm, tender embrace, but he didn't do it. “We'll take him home, he'll rest for a while.”
“What happened to him?”
“I'll tell you. Let's go.”
*****
As they carried Jungkook in a carriage to the Kim family's house, Yoongi followed them. The whole family was at the Min mansion and an injured Alpha should be with his family. Taehyung protested but finally agreed. He would stay with his Alpha even in a garbage dump as long as he was with him and he was okay.
While Yoongi and some of his Alpha friends were carrying Jungkook's body downstairs to one of the empty rooms, right into Jungkook's childhood room, Chaerin, unable to bear to see her son in that state, lost her strength, threw herself on the floor and started to cry. Jimin was the one who held her. He didn't care when Yoongi passed by without noticing him, his eyes must have been too full to see him, and the house was already too crowded. Jimin bent down and held out his hand to his mother-in-law when Yuri walked up to them. “Come on, have a seat. Junhee, can you get some water?” As he sat Chaerin down on the cushion, he brushed back the light hair that had fallen over her face. In normal times, he wouldn't have been able to get this close to her. Surely the old Omega would have hissed, bared her teeth and bitten him. But now she did not resist, she collapsed weakly in his arms, and she was even older.
A child had to be something else… Being a mother was incomparable to anything else. “Please be strong…” Junhee brought water and held it to Chaerin's lips. “Drink some.”
“He was covered in blood...” She said dully. “My Jungkookie, my precious son. How could they do this to him?”
“They wouldn't have been able to bring him here if he wasn't well, just think of it that way. I'll go and ask Yoongi how he is now.”
“I can't stand to hear... I can't stand to hear that he's not well. I'm going to die.”
“You can't say that. Your children need you.”
Yuri came and bowed to them. “Jimin, thank you, we made you work so hard. Mom-“ She hugged her mother tightly. “Don't cry, it's okay. It's going to be okay. I talked to Yoongi. They treated his wounds, he even talked to Yoongi.”
“Where is Taehyung? He was devastated...”
“Right next to Jungkook, where will he be?” Yuri sighed. “He fainted when he heard the news. It was really bad.”
Jimin was surprised too. A while after Yoongi had left him at home, he couldn't take it anymore. Even though he knew he shouldn't have left the house, he had gone to the Min mansion to see if they needed any help. He had been here ever since. He took care of Chaerin-shi when Yuri left her mother in his care and went to the training hall. The poor omega didn't stop crying for a moment, she was devouring herself. Jungkook had never been seriously injured before. In the pack, such injuries usually led to death. That's why none of them could do more than pray. Even Jimin got down on his knees and prayed to the small icon of Okami on the shelf by the wall.
He left Chaerin with Yuri. He got up, pushed through the crowd around the house and went upstairs, where the scent of his Alpha was concentrated. He felt a sense of relief when he soon saw Yoongi there, breathing on the small balcony of the house. He didn't know if he was a bad person, but he was relieved that he wasn't in Jungkook's shoes. But of course he wouldn't say it out loud, sadness and relief washed over him at the same time. Now he needed to hear that the young Alpha was okay.
“Yoongi…”
The Alpha, who had been watching the darkened area with his hands resting on the railing, turned around quickly when he heard and smelled the Omega. “Jimin…” He hadn't expected to see him here. “I thought you were home.”
Good that he was here. He was glad to see him here, relieved.
Jimin stood darkly in the doorway. “I... Couldn't resist, I followed you here, your mother wasn't... Well.”
“Did you take care of her?”
“As best I could.” He nodded his head slightly and looked at his Alpha's pale face. He looked very, very exhausted. It tore him up inside. “Are you okay Yoongi?”
The Alpha couldn't speak for a while, his throat was knotted. He didn't think he would be okay until Jungkook's condition was completely stabilized. Still, he had to stand strong as a mate in front of his Omega. “Uh, yeah… I think so...”
Jimin didn't believe it, of course. There was only one side in this relationship that could feel everything. It was always Jimin who was the missing part. The part that was getting smaller by the day and needed to be completed. The Alpha's pheromones were so full of pain. He knew that the only thing that would do him good right now would be a tender hug. He didn't say anything as he slowly approached the Alpha and hugged him tightly.
Yoongi stiffened at first, but deep inside he knew that this was what he needed. So he didn't hold back. Hadn't all boundaries between them already been crossed? There was nothing wrong with hugging his omega. His mate... As Jimin's pleasant pheromones filled his nose, he could hardly resist the urge to bury his nose in Jimin's neck. His soft hair tickled his face and smelled fragrant. Ren… Ren… Ren…
“I was so afraid…” He said, exhaling. “I was so afraid that something would happen to him and I wouldn't be able to save him, Jimin.”
“It's okay... It's okay…” Jimin's hand moved spontaneously and very naturally to the lock of hair on the Alpha's neck. Neither of them resisted, even though they both realized that the embrace had become intense, almost tangible. Their breasts collided as Jimin's small, chubby fingers wrapped around the Alpha's hair. “It's going to be okay. Trust me.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I prayed to Okami…” He said with conviction. “That's the god of wolves, right?”
At that moment, Yoongi saw something he had never seen before. This Omega, who comforted the Alpha in his arms, who clung to him, had been in a state of loss all his life. He had no one. No one... Except him… This thought made him hug her even tighter. He was open, knowing that Jimin would not question him or bother him. He took what he needed.
Jimin remained perfectly content in his place until the Alpha's grip loosened minutes later. His face was buried in his chest, in the best place. Yoongi held him without pulling away. It was probably a first. But he still couldn't ignore the smell of blood wafting from him.
“Thank you…” The Alpha said and pulled away without looking at him. “Thank you, Jimin. That felt good.”
When he saw the Alpha's full eyes, he couldn't help but press a hand to his cheek. He had never been this close to him before, except in his heat. Even if there was no turning back. He wanted to tell him tonight that he still loved him, that he had risked everything. “I am your mate, I will always be there for you.”
“I know…” Yoongi sniffed and deliberately avoided looking at him. As soon as Omega took his eyes off him, he said, “And do you know?”
“That you're by my side?” He shrugged and smiled. He could only be sure after telling him the truth. It was true that he had feelings for him that he couldn't contain and never would. But he wasn't sure if they would be reciprocated. “I suppose…”
“No. How strong you really are.” Yoongi pressed his lips together, “When I sealed Jungkook's wound today, he fainted… He screamed so loudly... You were even stronger than him. I wanted to appreciate you.”
“I wish I didn't have to…” Jimin teased, but his voice cracked.
After a while Jimin felt cold and they went downstairs together. He didn't really want to leave his Alpha alone, but he felt obliged to help a distraught Taehyung. He had never seen the Omega like that before. Jimin went straight to the living room while his Alpha went to one of the empty rooms in the house to talk to Namjoon.
Taehyung was collapsed on the sofa. He was crying with his hands over his face and no one was around. Jimin didn't know what to do. He could be very bad at comforting Taehyung. Nevertheless, he sat next to him without question. He hadn't seen Jungkook yet. But at least he was awake, according to Yoongi. Wasn't that a good sign?
“Taehyung?” He gently pushed aside a lock of wavy hair that was falling down over the Omega's face and softened the features of his face. “Stop crying.”
Taehyung, who had been completely marked by Jungkook, had felt everything about him. It was as if he had not only felt it, but also lived it. He had always seen and known the good side of the mark. That's why he didn't recognize the pain that woke him from his beauty sleep. His heart pounded. His chest ached terribly. His whole body burned as if he had surrendered to the flames. He could only breathe intermittently. After feeling everything intensely for a few seconds, he jumped up from the bed. Jungkook's side of the bed was empty, he hated to see that.
He had always pushed him to give up his position, but Jungkook had tried to convince him from a very primitive point of view: An Alpha who doesn't fight isn't an Alpha. Taehyung hated himself for keeping quiet to make him happy. He should have been harder on him, even to the point of abandonment if necessary. Not being with him was unbearable. And they had just reunited, not even a month had passed and trouble was knocking at their door. How could he spend years with him? How could he trust her and have children?
He thought about these things for a long time. He knew that something had happened to Jungkook even before he got the news that he was injured, maybe even before anyone else. Because he felt it. Within a few minutes he realized that it was his mate and started to cry. About half an hour later he went to the Min mansion, unable to stand the pain. He wore the heeled slippers he wore at home and a fluffy nightgown. Fortunately, the carriage was always waiting in front of the house, so he didn't have to walk. But when he knocked on the door, everyone already knew everything. It was unbearable. He tore himself apart and threw himself on the floor. Then, when it felt like death to wait any longer, he threw himself outside. He smelled Jungkook and ran towards him and no one could stop him.
He was connected to him in a different way. Even the soul mate bond couldn't be that strong, Taehyung believed.
And now he didn't need anyone's pity or comfort. He just wanted his Alpha to wake up as soon as possible. He wanted to go home, they had to live it all over again. They had attacked him from not one, not two, but three places, they had hurt him so much. So much so that even Taehyung felt the teeth sink into his skin.
“Leave me alone!” He hissed at the Omega beside him. The thin nightgown he wore made him shiver with cold. The eye makeup under his eyes made him look a little scary.
But Jimin didn't even move. Instead, he took the knitted scarf from his shoulder and put it on his shoulder. “You're going to catch a cold. Jungkook shouldn't have to deal with you.”
“How thoughtful of you… Go away.”
“You don't have to gnash your teeth at me. I'm trying to help you.”
“I don't want your help!” He snapped, his eyes welling up. “I don't want anything. I just want Jungkook to get better.”
“Didn't you talk to him?” Jimin asked, knowing that they had talked in the training hall, knowing that Jungkook had woken up. “You should have told him.”
“I've already done that, are you all right?” He asked sarcastically as he used the cloth handkerchief to gently blow his nose. There was both a hereditary harmony and a dissonance and rudeness in his movements. He didn't know how, but he carried them both very well.
“Okay, okay, tell him again. He will listen to you.”
“Are you comforting a child?” He shook again, tears ran down his chin and Jimin wiped them away with his own handkerchief.
“If you are not a child, then stop crying. You are bonded to your Alpha, you are hurting him.”
“Right…” Taehyung said, agreeing with him. It was the first time he said something true. Then he wiped away his tears and dried his face. With his red nose, teary eyes and jet black hair, he was as attractive as he was shabby. Taehyung was the Omega of duality. “If you see me crying again, you can slap me.”
“I'd love to...”
“You're so annoying.”
Jimin smiled and said nothing. “Can I get you something to eat? You're exhausted from crying.”
“No. I'm gonna make soup for Jungkook so I'll eat that.”
“Now?”
“Yes, so he can eat when he wakes up.”
He was really thoughtful. Jimin admired him inwardly. “I think you should rest now.”
“Stop lecturing me!” He suddenly stood up. When he saw his mother coming through the door, he ran and jumped on her neck. Rina looked exhausted as well, as upset as she could be to see her only child so unhappy. “How is your mate?”
“I-I don't know... They're not saying anything for sure. They've treated his wounds, we're waiting for him to wake up.” He sniffled. “Mom... Did you do what I asked?”
“Yes, Taehyung. Who can stand in your way?”
“When are they coming?”
“Tomorrow, you know the Jung Pack is far away.”
Jimin also got up and went over to them. Seeing his curious eyes, Rina quickly explained. “We are bringing one of Arashi's best healers to treat Jungkook. He lives in the south, in the Jung pack. We used to be friends with him, we have influence with him. Otherwise he would never have agreed to come here. He doesn't like to be ordered around.”
“I understand…” Jimin said. The Kims were a family of big hands, there was no goal they couldn't reach. Sighing, he left them alone and went out the door. He put on his coat to catch his breath.
Everything was vague, blurry, and frightening. He walked down the steps to the corner conservatory. He sat in the iron chair among the flowers, his breath steaming. Tonight everything could have been clear. But it wasn't. Jimin didn't know if he should be happy or sad. Maybe God did not want him to tell. He didn't know. It was like a strange stomach ache that never left him alone and always reminded him of himself. If he didn't tell him, it would only get worse. And he wouldn't even have a reasonable excuse to give Yoongi.
Because they were good, Jimin had shown him that many times. He trusted him. So why was he still silent? It wouldn't be fair to his Alpha. As soon as Jungkook would get better, the first thing he would do would be to tell everything to his Alpha.
*****
All the family members preferred to doze off in the large living room. They wanted to get a quick update on any developments. The curious neighbours had come to wish the family well. They had all scattered to their homes. It was an hour past midnight. Side by side in the dim, plush armchairs, Chaerin and Dohyun sat quietly, their shared fear of even the slightest movement keeping them from blinking. Every once in a while, Taehyung would come out of Jungkook's room. He would either cry or go out on the balcony to catch his breath. The tears wouldn't stop. Jungkook still wouldn't wake up.
The family members were devastated again when Jae left the room, saying that he couldn't intervene any further until Jungkook woke up. Yoongi pulled his master aside and asked if there was any way. Something else, anything...
He explained. “If he was bitten by wolves and poisoned by pheromones or wolfsbane, there's a way to tell. Like I taught you before: Ren Flower.”
Yoongi leaned his back against the wall, his head pounding. “How? Do you have any ren flower left?”
Jae shook his head. “No, the last root was used on an injured wolf about a year ago. I tried hard to find it again, but I'm an old beta now. If I go to the mountainside, I won't be able to come back.”
“A healer from the Jung pack is coming tomorrow. Maybe he has some.”
Jae nodded. “But what if he doesn't? Jungkook's condition is uncertain; he should have woken up by now. His attackers were most likely unruly savages or rebels. You know, they have no boundaries. It's only because of them that wolves poison wolves.”
With a heavy breath, Yoongi ran his fingers through his hair. He was trying to work out what to say, but he wasn't quite sure how. He lowered his voice slightly and leaned closer to his master. “What about pheromones? Can they help? I mean, to remove the poison? What effect would that have?”
“Pheromones?” The Master was surprised. “You mean Jungkook's mate's pheromones? He's trying his best, but Jungkook is still the same.”
“No, I'm talking about my mate's pheromones…” He said. He felt terrible for bringing this up without asking Jimin. But he knew he could trust Jae on this. “His real pheromones came out when he went into heat. Because everything happened so suddenly, no one knows about it; no one even noticed…” He licked his lips. “Jimin's pheromones are made up of Ren Flower.”
Jae's eyes widened. He wasn't usually one to overreact, but this news hit him harder than he expected. “How? Are you sure?”
“Of course I'm sure…” He didn't beat around the bush. “Does this help Jungkook? I'll talk to Jimin, he'll do his best.”
“Has he learned to control his scent? It's difficult to control pheromones after the heat. You know, Ren is a dangerous flower. When I brought it to the neighbourhood, some people thought it was bad luck. They might bother your mate.”
“I’ll take care of everything. Is that Okay? Tell me.”
He nodded thoughtfully. “The scent of the flower is as effective as the root. It may not be enough to completely dissolve the poison. But I read somewhere that the smell of the flower made the poisoned person vomit. This got rid of the poison. But that was talking about the flower itself. I've never seen an omega that smells of ren before.”
Jimin was no ordinary omega. Yoongi's heart contracted with excitement. Jimin could be the one to save his brother from this disease. He couldn't imagine how grateful he would be if he accepted his offer. He quickly left his master's side and went into the living room, where he found Jimin dozing, like everyone else in the house. He was lying on the cushions with his hand tucked under his head. When Yoongi walked up to him and leaned over, Jimin immediately opened his eyes. He could smell him. “Any news?”
“No. But I need something from you.”
“Anything…” He sat up and crossed himself. “What can I do?”
“You can save him…” He whispered. “Come with me.”
Jimin's heart raced as his Alpha took his hand and hurried him into an empty room. He was so glad to be of use. In the dim light, he looked into his Alpha's twinkling eyes, which were full of hope. “I won't beat around the bush. I spoke to my master. Jungkook may have been poisoned. There is not much we can do to remove the poison from his body. We won't know what happened until he wakes up. He was probably attacked and poisoned by the rebels.”
Jimin put his hand over his mouth and shook his head in horror; this was terrible news. He remembered that they had talked about this just a few days ago. “This is awful. I can't believe it.”
“My master says that the scent of the ren can help to remove the poison. But we have no ren left and it would take too long to request some from distant packs. Jung's healer won't arrive until tomorrow...” Suddenly, Yoongi grabbed Jimin's hands and squeezed them. “Can you help us, Jimin?”
“I… I…” He was confused.
“Can you give your pheromones for Jungkook? We can see the effect Ren's pheromones have on him. We'll take our chances.”
“My scent?” He said stiffly. Of course he had Ren. A flower as unique as he was. The alpha looked at their joined hands. He didn't know what to say. He thought he had gone too far. He pulled back. His face was grim. “I'll let you decide. I haven't told anyone, only my master knows. If you don't agree, we can pretend it didn't happen.”
“Of course I will…” Jimin interrupted cautiously. “I'll do whatever I can.”
“Really?” The alpha's eyes flashed with childlike hope again. “You really would?”
“He's your brother, Yoongi. How could I let him lie there, lifeless?”
Alpha wanted to hug him, but he restrained himself and clenched his fists on either side. His omega looked more and more beautiful to his eyes with each passing second. He was grateful that it was a coincidence that had brought him here. Jimin was a very good omega; maybe he didn't deserve him.
“Shall we go then?”
“Okay…” He replied, and a few minutes later they found themselves in Jungkook's dark, stuffy room. This was Jungkook's room, where he had spent many years. The walls were adorned with the fur and heads of hunting animals, while the shelves were stocked with handmade weapons, creating an atmosphere that was the complete opposite of his brother's. There wasn't a single book... Jimin exhaled. The smell was heavy. The smell caused Jimin to grimace. It was more like a pain in the pit of one's stomach than pheromones. He frowned when Taehyung entered the room with a wet cloth in his hand. “What are you doing here? Jungkook is resting. Can you leave?”
Yoongi took the lead in explaining. “Taehyung… Excuse us. We need to establish whether Jungkook has been poisoned.”
“What is Jimin doing here?”
Jimin looked from his alpha to the exhausted omega, but said nothing. “His pheromones might be good for Jungkook.” Said Yoongi.
“What nonsense! Even my pheromones aren't good for Jungkook?” He growled like a wild wolf. This news had made his inner wolf feel both angry and jealous. “Get out!”
Yoongi intervened, grabbing the snarling omega who had lunged at Jimin. “Jimin is trying to help Taehyung. Don't be childish!”
Unable to resist him, the omega continued to yell. “Let go of me! You can't mark him with another omega's scent! I can't accept it! If I get my hands on you…”
“Don't you want the alpha to survive?” Said Jimin, standing there coldly. He stepped in front of Taehyung and, a moment later, gently grabbed his chin. “Stop whining… You're making it hard for us.”
That was his wolf talking. It couldn't have been him. Yoongi knew that look all too well. Those were the eyes that had made him obey a few days ago. Bright, relentless and bold. No one could stand against them.
Not even Taehyung. As the crying omega's anger subsided for a moment, he stepped back. He went into the corner. He freed his hands from the alpha. “Do it quickly. I'll be watching you.”
Jimin blinked absently and walked over to sit next to Jungkook at the end of the bed, trying to focus. He couldn't just multiply his pheromones whenever he wanted; he didn't even know how to do it. And he was scared. Yoongi's story was running through his mind. What if he poisoned Jungkook while trying to heal him? But he hadn't poisoned his Alpha. He had smeared him with that scent. But Yoongi was his soul mate; he couldn't do it, even if he wanted to.
He put his hands to his chest and tried to communicate with his wolf. “Please help me… Let me heal him, omega. Our scent will do him good. Let me…”
He found it difficult to connect with the wolf, which had its back turned. The business of another's alpha was of no concern to it. But Jimin was so insistent that it came out of its lair and raised its head to the sky in anger. It could not resist and finally gave in. The conflict between Jimin and his inner wolf became apparent. Everyone in the room held their breath. The bitter, pungent odour of the alpha was replaced by the unique, striking smell of the omega. Yoongi stood anxiously in the centre of the room and felt himself coming back to life as that familiar scent enveloped him.
How could it be like this? Would it always make him feel like this?
“Try to calm down, Jimin…” Jae instructed. “Take a deep breath, relax, and think about what you need to do to heal him. Try to keep in touch with your wolf.”
He was trying. He clasped his sweaty palms together in his lap and felt small beads of sweat trickling down his back. It was hard, no doubt about it. Omega was just getting to know who he was…What he could do, what he was capable of, and the people who needed him… It made him proud. He would never again be the poor omega pushed around by everyone. He clenched his jaw as he thought of the wounded, innocent Alpha lying in front of him. He was too young to die like this. His scent would heal him.
Everything changed in a few moments. With his eyes closed, Jimin spread his scent uncontrollably throughout the room as Ren flowers bloomed in every corner. Even Taehyung looked up in surprise when he smelled it. The scent had taken everyone by surprise. Not even Jae expected it to be so strong. It really was a Ren flower… A unique flower indeed. After a few minutes, Jimin's face contorted. He blushed all the way down to his neck. Then he started coughing like he was out of breath. After that, he just stood still. Yoongi was sure that nothing had changed, but then Jungkook sat up quickly, making a sound like he hadn't breathed in days. He then turned his head to the right and vomited violently onto the carpet.
It had really worked. He had brought the poisoned Alpha back to life!
“It worked!” Jae shouted. With a swift movement, Taehyung rose to his feet and hurried towards Jungkook, who was struggling to catch his breath. They praised him while he was still vomiting, wiping his sweat-covered face. The omega, on the other hand, stood alone and unmoving. After a few minutes, Yoongi remembered his omega. Feeling guilty, he took a step back and ran over to Jimin, who was on the other side of the bed. The omega was leaning against the bed, incapacitated and gasping for air. “Did I do it?” He asked, his eyes misting over.
“You did it, Jimin-ah!” Yoongi embraced him, pressing his weakened body against his own. He had no idea what this would do to him. “Let him rest for a while.” The healer ordered, getting up to take his Omegas to his own room. “Take care of him; I'm with Jungkook.”
“Let's go, Jimin.” Jungkook looked at him, his tired eyes expressing gratitude for his brother. He was too tired to speak. He would visit him later. He shouldn't have left his omega alone. As they left the room, his parents looked at Jimin, confused as to what had happened.
Yoongi took Jimin straight to his room, put him on his bed and covered him up. “How are you feeling? Is there anything you want? Anything at all?”
“I'm fine. Go back to your brother.” He coughed, and a bitter taste filled his mouth. He felt sick and dizzy. Still, it felt good to be here. It was in the room the alpha had once hated him in. It was in the bed that smelled like him. He held out his hand slightly. “Go on…” He said. “Don't worry about me.”
“No, Jimin. What kind of alpha would I be if I didn't stay here and take care of you?”
“It's Okay, I'm just a little dizzy.” But that was a lie; he would be devastated if he left. He wanted someone to share the excitement and amazement of what he had done.
“I'll make you a cup of tea…” He said. “A tea to put you to sleep.”
“Okay…” He finally gave in. They looked at each other in sweet silence. They both heard cries of joy coming from downstairs. A moment later, the door was kicked open with a swift, powerful swing, and Taehyung burst in with a smile spread across his face. “I can't believe he threw up the poison. You were right! You healed Jungkook, Jimin.” Yoongi's smile grew as he jumped on Jimin's neck and hugged him, seeing the surprise on his face. “I told you, Taehyung.”
“But how come? I... I don't understand! Does Jimin have special powers?”
He looked up at the omega, who was looking at him with tired but loving eyes. “Are you a mage?”
“No…” Jimin replied, chuckling. He wished he was. Then he would know why his soulmate didn't recognise him. Everything would be easier. “It's just... I smell a little different.”
“Yes…” He replied, sounding intrigued. He stepped back and straightened his clothes. “You two... what are you up to? Why does Jimin smell like that?”
“Because God willed it…” Yoongi replied. “The ren flower is a medicinal plant. Both the scent and the root are effective against poison. Now we know.”
“How are we going to hide it from everyone?” Asked Taehyung, frowning. “They might hurt Jimin.”
“No one can hurt Jimin now. I won't allow it.”
Jimin's stomach fluttered as he sat up. “I'll try to control my scent.” He said, smiling at his alpha. His skin was pale, and tiny beads of sweat formed on his lips. “Don't worry. Is Jungkook okay?”
“Yes, he's fine.” He said, leaving the couple alone. Taehyung went out onto the balcony to catch his breath. The balcony was covered in snow, and he was wearing a large jacket that belonged to his alpha. Suddenly, he started to cry. This time, it was tears of happiness, because he was relieved that his beloved mate was fine. However, the solution to his problems came from an unexpected place. He felt so useless that he could barely breathe. He covered his face with his hands and sobbed. It was Jimin, whom his life had been made miserable by himself in the early days, not him. How could this be? Was this a trick of God? He couldn't live if he was burdened by this. He had to do something to take the burden off himself. What if he bought Jimin a priceless piece of jewellery made with the world's largest diamonds? Or he could give her a large carriage with velvet seats. Struggling to decide, he glided down the stairs like a swan. Chaerin and her mother were chatting in the parlour. When he walked right past them and entered his alpha's room, Jungkook smiled sweetly.
Just like the day they met…
It was Chaerin who had brought him to the association for the first time. Taehyung was busy playing king with the children around him and giving them orders when he saw his beloved smiling sweetly at his mother through the window. He had fallen for him from the first second. He was four years old. It was the first time he had ever known heartache. But he couldn't stand it for long. He always got what he wanted, and he would get it again. He ventured out with his entourage and descended the stairs. An omega was holding the embroidered skirts of his cloak, as Taehyung had instructed.
When he stopped in front of the alpha hidden behind Chaerin, he asked in a serious voice, as if all the other voices had stopped until he spoke. “What is your name?”
But the boy hid his head in his mother's skirt, avoiding answering. 'What a coy alpha...' Taehyung thought to himself. Still, he was determined to get a closer look at him. He grabbed the alpha's shoulder, tugging his chin up so that he would look at him. “I ask you, what is your name? Look into the king's eyes when he speaks to you.”
“J-Jungkook!” The alpha's gaze fixed firmly on the omega's eyes, which were an inch taller than his. Taehyung gasped in surprise. They were the most unique, sweet, lovely and flawless eyes he had ever seen. He wanted him to smile at him like he had just done. He was so beautiful! Every adjective in his vocabulary applied to him. “What beautiful eyes you have…” He exclaimed, covering his mouth. “You know, I've never seen anything like them. They're just my kind of eyes.”
Jungkook's face flushed and he bowed his head, but the omega wouldn't leave him alone and reached out a hand. “Play with me, Jungkook. Let me introduce myself in case you don't know me. Everyone knows me around here though. I am King Kim Taehyung. You can be my mate, and we can rule the world together. Isn't this offer too good to pass up?”
“King?”
“Yes. Don't you like it?” He whispered in his ear. “Should I be emperor? My subjects will accept whatever I want, won't they?”
“What do you mean, "subjects"?”
Shrugging, the omega tossed his hair. “My subjects.”
“What's a subject?”
Taehyung looked at him contemptuously; he had a lot to teach him. He had to dress him well so that he could parade him around as the king's consort. A king's consort wouldn't look like this: all pouty and crying all the time. “A subject is a wolf who obeys his orders. Something like that. You are so ignorant.”
“I started school.”
“Look at the shorty!” Jungkook pushed his hand away when he pinched his chubby cheek.
“How old are you anyway?”
“Me? Four!” He shrugged. “I don’t go to school, but I know more than you.”
That was the first time Jungkook had laughed. “I'm five and older than you.” He opened up immediately, like a blossom. He took the toy sword from the omega's hand and did one of the cool moves he had seen his older brother do. “I'm older than you. I can protect you. Get behind me!”
“So what?”
“You must obey me.” Jungkook chuckled and pointed the sword at the omega. “Or I'll take your head.”
“King couples don't obey each other. What a stupid alpha you are.” Jungkook almost fell over when Taehyung shoved him angrily. Taehyung flinched back, his eyes flashing with momentary fire. Jungkook loved him even more because of his anger. With a coquettish smile, Taehyung placed his hands on Jungkook's shoulders as he stood above him. He was the first friend who had the courage to stand up to him, and he wanted to marry him right away. “We should get married when we grow up…” He said, smiling. “Objection is not an option.”
“If you want it so badly, then I'm in. I'm in.”
“But if I see you with another omega, I'll kill you both, I'm telling you.”
And that's how their story began. It was a time when the pack was starting to prosper. Both families were friends. They could see each other often. When they were together, they didn't need anyone else. The world stopped for both of them when they were together.
Taehyung had hosted Jungkook in the palace of his heart ever since that day. He had never even looked at anyone else. However, there were a couple of times when Jungkook spoke to other omegas, and Taehyung would seek out other alphas to make Jungkook feel the same way. That's when Jungkook knelt in front of Taehyung, crying his eyes out to apologise. He said, “Damn me if I ever look at another omega again!”
Amused by the memory, he went into their room to find Jungkook asleep. He did not want to wake him, so he got under the covers, got very close to his alpha and closed his eyes. It was the longest night of his life.
*****
The following day, word spread throughout the district about Jungkook's awakening, and Namjoon and a number of alphas appeared at the Min mansion. Taehyung refused to let them into the room of the alpha who hadn't woken up yet. Even Namjoon relented. He agreed to have an herbal tea and a chat in the living room. Jimin and Yoongi also spent the night in the small room, sleeping in the same bed. Naturally, the alpha only returned to his sleeping omega in the morning. He couldn't sleep. There was so much to think about that he couldn't stop thinking.
In the morning, Junhee prepared breakfast for the tired omega at Chaerin's request and took it up to his room. The whole household was secretly grateful to Jimin for what he had done. Even Dohyun. When Jimin woke up and went downstairs after eating breakfast, he met him. This was the first time he looked at him kindly and thanked him for what he had done last night.
Jimin was beginning to feel that his life had meaning for the first time. Not just for Yoongi, but for others too. He was more visible than ever. When Jungkook finally woke up around noon, the interrogation began. The injured alpha was covered in bandages, white bandages that were on his shoulder, leg and stomach in three places. The scratches on his face and skin were slowly scabbing over. Taehyung looked after him well and helped him get changed and cleaned his face before showing the alphas into his room. His alpha was just a little less handsome than on the first day. But that was to be expected.
“How did all this happen, Jungkook? Can you tell us?”
Jungkook coughed. “If we did it one-on-one... Not in front of so many people…”
Yoongi understood what his brother meant. For some reason, he wanted Taehyung to leave; perhaps there was something he didn't want him to hear. After a brief disagreement, Jimin took Taehyung away. About five minutes later, only Yoongi and Namjoon remained in the room. They were both standing over the wounded alpha. “Everyone's gone, Kook. What are you hiding from us? Who were they? Don't be afraid.”
He held up his hand; his face contorted as it had yesterday in the training hall. “My ring…” He said. “I lost my wedding ring. They took everything I had. How am I going to confess this to Taehyung?”
“What?” Yoongi glanced at the leader and shook his head. “The ring?”
“Yes, hyung, the ring! Don't repeat it. The truth hurts enough already. Taehyung will kill me when he finds out. He worked so hard to make that ring. It was unique. Damn savages! They didn't kill me. But they made me worse than dead.”
Yoongi burst out laughing, and Namjoon joined him. “Are you out of your mind? Are you thinking about the ring even now?”
“Because that's how it all started. Why are you laughing?” Jungkook added, whining and beating himself up. “I had just left my friends to pee when I heard a strange noise and they pulled me into a corner without realising. The next thing I knew, I was surrounded by five big wolves. They attacked me before I could transform. Luckily, I was running fast and managed to transform. Otherwise, if I had received these wounds in human form and passed out, I would have died in that corner. I was unconscious when they found me, and I don't remember what happened, but I do remember them stripping me naked and leaving. They took advantage of a moment of weakness... Otherwise they wouldn't have been able to take them away from me.”
“I know they couldn't.” Said Namjoon.
“Exactly!” His hyung agreed. Jungkook sighed resentfully. “You're making fun of me.”
“All kidding aside, they didn't just bite you. They poisoned you with a toxin that temporarily paralyses you. That's why you fainted when you were bitten, unable to move. Fortunately, we detected the poison and removed it from your body.”
“I threw up, didn’t I?” He said, confused. “How did that happen?”
Yoongi smiled proudly. He had to hand it to his omega. “Thanks to Jimin. You can thank him later.”
“What? Our Jimin?”
“How many Jimin's are there, you idiot?”
Jungkook tried to sit up, but failed. “Can you give me some advice on how to explain this ring thing?”
“You loudmouth!”
“But hyung…”
“I don't think Taehyung will care.” The leader added.
“Don't care about what?” Without question, Taehyung walked in, put the tray down on the coffee table in the corner, frowned, and put his hand on his waist. “You three. Whatever you're hiding from me, spill it right now.”
Jungkook began to stammer as the alpha duo slowly slipped out of the room. They weren't going to come between the couples. Left alone with Taehyung, Jungkook swallowed hard and tried to smile. But he knew there was no escaping this. He had been caught. “Sweetheart. Did you cook for me?”
Taehyung continued to stare at him without breaking his posture. “There should be no secrets between us…” He said in a distant voice. “No secrets between mates. Haven't I taught you that yet?”
“You're right… I... there are no secrets”
Taehyung moved smoothly across the room, stopped next to the bed, sat down on the soft mattress and lowered his eyes to the floor. His eyelashes were long and dark and hid his face like porcelain. If he didn't talk, he would punish his Alpha by remaining silent. Jungkook tried several times to talk to him, but failed. His mate never looked at him as he fed him hot winter soup with partridge meat from an ornate bowl.
Jungkook was hiding something from him. He couldn't stand it. Not when the thought of there being something he knew and he didn't was driving him crazy.
Eventually, the alpha was unable to endure it either, and he exhaled and lifted his empty finger. “There you go. That was the secret. Are you relieved?”
“What?” Taehyung stared blankly at his hand, a bloody scratch running the length of his ring finger. Slowly raising his eyebrows, the Alpha added. “I had my ring stolen. Okay?”
“Our wedding ring… You put so much effort into getting it on my finger, you tried so hard, and I know I'm a fool, I'm wrong, I'm guilty, but I did my best. I tried to hide it when the three wolves were attacking me, but it hurt like hell. Maybe you're right. I'm a wimp; I'm a coward. I'm sorry...” His lips pursed and he lowered his gaze to the floor. “Please forgive me…”
“Jungkook! Oh my God!” Putting the tray back on the coffee table, Taehyung climbed onto the bed. He lunged straight at Jungkook, sitting on his crotch. He held the pillow he would use to suffocate Jungkook in one hand.
“You’ll finish me off?” Said the wounded alpha, looking down at him with fearful eyes. Despite the pain in his legs, he was happy that he would die at his hands. “At least do it quickly... Kill me before anyone hears.”
“I'll kill you!” He pressed the pillow against the Alpha's face, and the Alpha underneath didn't struggle at all. Instead, he ran his hands over the Omega's buttocks. The last thing he should have touched were those two soft asses. “You idiot!” After pulling the pillow back and throwing it on the floor, the omega grabbed the alpha's cheeks, capturing his lips.
Jungkook joined in without question . 'I guess he's going to kill me after kissing m.,' He thought. As he squeezed his buttocks, he thought about how much he wanted him. They were in his room. This was the room where they had never been this close before. He had never been able to bring him into his room and make love to him before they were married. He would never let him; he would show, but not let him touch. Jungkook started to get hard, moaning hoarsely as the Omega's hot tongue forced its way into his mouth. His family were chatting in the next room while this was going on.
“What a stupid alpha you are…” Taehyung said sternly, finally breaking away from his lips. He was out of breath. “What were you thinking, hiding this from me?”
“What wasn't I thinking...”
“I don't care, Jungkook! How could you get upset over something so trivial? It's just a ring...” He kissed him on the cheek. “Nothing is more important than you. Nothing at all! All the diamonds in the world put together are not worth one Jungkookie.”
I must really be dead, Jungkook thought to himself with a mischievous grin on his face. “Really?”
Taehyung clenched his jaw with his fingers, making his lips pout in an adorable way. And those rabbit teeth! They were driving him crazy. “You don't know me at all!”
“You didn't speak to me for three days and threw stones whenever you saw me because I dried the flower you gave me for my birthday! How should I know?”
“I was only six then! You're a joke, Kook!”
“Hmmm…” Taehyung said, stopping himself from laughing as he wrapped his arm around his waist and pulled him close. He loved pretending to be offended and making him crawl. “So that's it. Then it's my fault, and I'll accept whatever you decide.”
“I'll overlook your mistake for once.”
“You will?”
He ran his fingers through his alpha's cotton tunic. He leaned closer. Jungkook immediately knew what he wanted. He buried his nose in his warm neck and marked him. Taehyung hissed with pleasure, glad to be covered in his scent. “For a moment, I thought I'd never smell like you again…” A tear slipped from his eye. “I thought you were going to die. It almost killed me to think we'd never make love again.”
“Is that it?”
“Shut up!” He growled. “We've only just got each other; I can't get enough of you.”
“Come here, my fierce omega…” He pulled Taehyung close, who curled up next to him and hugged him tightly, not afraid to hurt him. Because Jungkook had told him when he woke up that it hurt him the most not being able to touch him.
“I'll make whoever did this to you pay…” Taehyung promised, propping himself up on his elbow. The alpha nodded and kissed his omega's fragrant hair. He had never seen him looking so dishevelled and unkempt, and it touched him. Perhaps Taehyung cared for the Alpha more than he cared for himself.
Now, Jungkook was sure that he was loved unconditionally by someone in the world. He didn't care if the whole world turned its back on him.
*****
(Two Days Later…)
Taehyung had always been the kind of omega who kept his word.
So, when the whole pack saw what was going on in the square, they stopped what they were doing and started walking towards the square where the drums were beating to call out the call. Even the boys from the training hall had left their classes to come and see what was going on. Meanwhile, Jimin went to his house to meet the beta who was coming to clean. Yoongi, on the other hand, never left Jungkook's side. Hearing the noise, Jimin put on his coat and left the house for the beta. He was grateful that Chaerin was thinking about their house in all the chaos because, if it wasn't cleaned for a few more days, it would get mouldy.
Wrapped in his coat, Jimin barely made it across the snowy path before pausing to see Yoongi coming towards him. “Is everything okay?” he asked, feeling afraid. Why had he come home at this hour? “Or Jungkook…”
“No, no, no. Everything's fine. I was coming to get you. You might have been startled by the noises.”
He thought about him. What had happened to turn him into such a thoughtful person? Or had he always been like this? The times when he hid his thorns.
It was time. He blamed himself every time he looked into his eyes. ‘I should say it…’ He thought to himself. If only he could say it at that very moment and get rid of this burden. Instead, he smiled. How hypocritical. “No, I was just wondering. I was going to check. Your mum's beta is cleaning the house. It's a good thing, you know? I wouldn't have been able to do it for days. I still wanted to help her, but she stopped me.”
The Alpha listened to his rapid speech without interrupting, and they walked together in the snow for a while. Following what he had done two days ago, they had never been able to sit down and talk properly. Yoongi knew he owed him more thanks. Jimin was a completely different person. Perhaps he possessed a power that no one else had. He wanted to get to know him better. “You've already exhausted yourself.”
“I'm fine.”
“Still, what you did was tiring for your body. Jungkook is very grateful to you.”
“I know. Every time we meet, he bows and thanks me. How long will he keep this up?” His lip pursed. “It makes me feel bad. I didn't expect anything in return. Besides, he made me realise that I have this power. I should be thanking him.”
“For getting hurt?”
Jimin blushed. “No!” What a stupid thing to say …“I didn't mean it like that.”
“Just kidding.”
The whole pack seemed to be there as they came into the clearing where the fires burned and the smoke rose into the sky. “Here we are. Today, for the first time, you will witness a punishment here.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked in Yoongi's direction and saw three wounded alphas, covered in filth. They looked badly beaten up. In front of them, other alphas were pulling them along by ropes tied around their throats. Behind them all, watching the crowd with dark eyes, was Taehyung.
“Is that Taehyung? What is he doing there?”
Yoongi explained as he moved in the direction of his family. “Yes, Taehyung. He promised Jungkook.”
“What promise?”
“That he would find the Alphas who attacked him. It looks like he kept his promise…” Yoongi laughed with pleasure; he appreciated it. He really did. He'd never met an omega who was quite so straightforward. “The Kim family has solid connections, in case you hadn't realised. They found those assholes in less than two days.”
Jimin watched the Alphas as he passed them, his eyes wide. He didn't even flinch when one of the Alphas looked up and fixed his gaze on him. He'd seen those threatening glances countless times, yet he'd never managed to do what Taehyung had. He wished he could punish the Alphas who had tormented him all his life. 'What will they do to them?' Jimin asked, as Yoongi pulled his omega behind him, protecting him from the malicious Alphas.
“Jimin! Honey, come here if you want to.” Yuri hugged him. “Are you sure you want to watch?” She sighed in distress. “There are kids around. I can't believe it.”
Whatever was going to happen would happen under the curious gaze of children. Jimin realised this when he saw the wood piled in the square, and remembered what Yoongi had said to the wild alphas the night he rescued him.
‘Next time, the fire in the square will be lit for you, and we'll be happy to watch.’
He swallowed hard, feeling nauseous. He was looking at Taehyung. His alpha was standing next to him on crutches rather than sitting on the bench that had been brought for him. The wounds on his face had already begun to heal, but the poison that had entered his body had left his legs weak for several days. Healers from different packs said this was a temporary effect. Fortunately. But Taehyung was still unforgiving. With his family's approval, he organised a team to find and capture the Alphas. During this time, they provided him with all the latest information directly. After two days, they discovered the alphas sleeping in their hut within a primitive camp. They identified them as the alphas who had injured Jungkook by the jewellery in their pockets.
Taehyung reached for his ring and slipped it onto his alpha's finger. “I'll have to watch your back better from now on…” He joked. For the first time in his life, Jungkook wanted to switch places with him. He wished he had been the omega and that Taehyung had always protected him.
After a few minutes, Leader Kim handed Taehyung a torch from the fire burning next to him. “Forgive or punish… The decision is yours.”
The Omega took the torch without hesitation and took a step forward. “To hell with them. Forgiveness is for God. Those who did this to my Alpha will be punished.”
His eyes were dark as night, his cold gaze fearless. Jimin felt a chill and moved closer to his Alpha, tucking himself under his arm. Yoongi didn't seem to be impressed, maybe that was always the case in this pack. Jimin was proud of Taehyung. When he was older and more mature, he was going to be an Omega with an unparalleled strength that would make the ground tremble beneath his feet.
He threw back the hood of the vengeance red cape he was wearing and let the snowflakes fall on his black hair. He looked at the three Alphas in the woodpile with their arms tied and without a word he dropped the torch onto the woodpile where the Alphas were cowering in fear. Everyone watching held their breath as a huge ring of fire instantly surrounded them. Jimin unknowingly squeezed Yoongi's arm as the mothers covered their children's eyes to prevent them from witnessing the scene.
The cruel crackling of the fire was the only sound around them as the Alphas' screams of agony faded into silence. Taehyung, as if he had been doing this all along, turned and began to glide away. “Shall we go?” He asked with a smile as he joined his Alpha.
And the two of them rode away from the square in the waiting carriage.
*****
“That was the coolest thing I've ever seen…” Jimin grimaced when Jungkook suddenly brought up the morning at dinner. The picture he had seen would haunt him for a while.
He and Taehyung giggled. “Because I'm the coolest Omega you've ever seen.”
“We owe you thanks Taehyung, you're even braver than your Alpha.” Dohyun praised and the Omega was flattered. Jimin had been watching him the whole morning. They spent another night at the family home. His appearance was so self-confident and relaxed that he couldn't help envying him. Still, he couldn't do what he had done, couldn't throw an Alpha into the fire.
He put down his spoon when he felt nauseouss, but the soup was delicious. “Is something wrong?” His Alpha asked, leaning close to his ear.
“No. I'm fine.”
“Drop the subject…” The Alpha ordered with a sigh. “This is not the place.”
“Oh Jiminie, did I scare you?” Taehyung asked. “You should be used to such sights, you must have seen worse in the packs you came from.”
He bit his tongue to keep from answering. Normally he was not that sensitive. Of course he'd seen much worse, but it had been a long time since he'd left that life behind. It didn't feel good to remember it. And he'd been even more sensitive since he'd used his pheromones to heal Jungkook. The heat and the events that followed had taken their toll on him.
“Jiminshi, I didn't get to thank you today…” Jungkook interjected, and the Omega said, “No need. You already did it once. I didn't do it to thank me.”
“Well, I feel bad. What if you were hurt? What did the healer say about that?”
All three healers had checked Jimin and examined him thoroughly. But they had no feedback that he had been damaged by his scent exchange with Jungkook. Omega was completely healthy. Jimin had a hard time hiding his flowers while they examined him, but his secret was still safe with him.
He wanted to tell the truth. He had to tell it before someone else did it first and got him into trouble. Yoongi had to hear it from him.
After dinner, when everyone had retired to their rooms, Jimin wrapped himself in the scarf he had thrown over his shoulder. He stood at the window and watched the outside world. His heart skipped a beat when his Alpha came in. “Yoongi…” He said and walked over.
“Jimin?”
“I want to tell you something.”
“Is it important?” Yoongi asked as he absentmindedly rummaged through his lockers. He looked very tired. When he found a towel, he looked at it.
“Yes…” He said, looking away. He couldn't even imagine what it would mean if he told him now. It could have embarrassed everyone. But he had taken the risk.
“I'm going to take a quick shower, can we talk when I get back?”
What could he say. His Alpha's mind was always somewhere else. He had no choice but to nod his head gently and say, “Okay...” They could talk when he returned. It would buy some more time. When his Alpha had left him with a towel in his hand and Yuri had called Jimin for a hot cup of tea, the Omega had to go downstairs with a reluctant heart.
“Are you okay? You look so worried.”
Jimin couldn't look his Noona in the eyes while he took a sip of tea. Lying to everyone was eating him up inside. “If someone you trusted so much hid something big from you... How would you handle it?”
Yuri didn't even suspect. He thought it was a rhetorical question. “I don't know... I think I would lose trust and I would never trust him again... I would throw him out of my life and put him in a corner...”
“And...Would you be sad?”
“I would be devastated. That's a hard thing to do. There are little lies in every relationship, but... All the truths that could have been told but weren't? Especially when it's something that affects the lives of both sides…” She sighed. “Why do you ask?”
“Nothing...” He gasped and his eyes filled with tears. At that moment, he wished the earth would open up and let him in. How could he fix it? Could he find just one person who would understand him?
His heart was in his mouth as he said goodbye to Yuri and returned to the small room. Whatwill happen in that room would determine his fate. Until he entered the room and saw his Alpha sleeping with a book in his hand. He must have fallen asleep waiting for him, his hair still damp. With a sigh, Jimin took the book and threw some more logs on the fire to keep him warm.
He had failed again. The weight in his heart grew heavier with every passing second.
When he woke up in Yoongi's bed the next day, he was alone and felt like he could have slept for another ten hours. But he had to get up and go on. After what he couldn't tell him yesterday, he had decided to postpone the plan. He'd tell him when the intensity in his Alpha's head had subsided and they were in their own house. Yoongi didn't want to leave his brother's side, he tried his best to help him get up as soon as possible. It didn't feel good for either of them to be under this roof again, but neither of them could go home. The Alpha, feeling oppressed by his father and his wolf's rage, sank deeper and deeper into a desperate search for a way out. Even eating at the same table with him was an ordeal.
At the end of the third day, Jungkook started to feel better. When Taehyung mentioned at breakfast that he wanted to take his mate back to their home, he was met with Chaerin's objections, but he got his way.
“Thank you for helping us so much, especially Yoongisshi, but I can take it from here. My Alpha is doing fine on his own now.”
Jungkook added as he ate his food, “Taehyung is right. I don't want to burden you anymore Hyung, you should go home with your Omega. You can't be there for me all the time.”
Yoongi was in a dilemma and looked at his brother indecisively, “Are you sure?” He asked. “You won't be able to go back to your old life for a while. I can be there and take care of you.”
“He's not going back to his old life anyway. I'll never send him on guard duty again, you can beat yourselves up if you want.”
“Every Alpha has duties, he can't escape them…” Dohyun said with a stern voice. “He had enough rest.”
Chaerin reacted quickly to this rigid attitude. “But you can't send him back into the forest, Dohyun!”
“He can only overcome his fears by overcoming them, not by sitting at the knee of his Omega.”
“I just started running yesterday, Dad…” Said a frustrated Jungkook. Now he felt like shit and looked at his brother out of the corner of his eye. He knew this feeling best. Jungkook was small, the youngest son, and had always been placed above the others. Until he grew up and got married. Now he had joined the ranks of the despised. At least he wouldn't leave his brother alone anymore. “I'll do my best... I'll go on a mission... Just don't be ashamed of your sons…” He finished.
Taehyung slammed his fork down on the table and bared his teeth. “I don't know if you found your son in the garbage, but I didn't find my mate in the garbage, so I won't put him in danger, Dohyun-sshi. Do what you want, humiliate him as much as you want. Jungkook has his own family now and only Jungkook can lead it. It's not appropriate for you to interfere, I want you to know that!”
Jimin watched the Omega in awe as Jungkook tried to calm his mate down. He had learned that when a man had power behind him, he didn't bow to anyone. Not even Yoongi could do that. He had always suffered within these four walls.
“I will never let you do to my mate what you did to Yoongi-sshi. We're going home, enjoy your meal.” He grabbed his Alpha's hand. “We're leaving, Jungkook.”
And a moment later, they were really gone. Like a gust of wind.
When there were only five of them left, a cold wind blew across the table. Yoongi felt stuffed even though he hadn't eaten anything, stuffed to the gills with what he had heard. He felt like that child again, so weak, so vulnerable. Maybe he still was. Just as a wave of thoughts was about to wash over him, his hand was grabbed by Jimin. Of course, Omega felt the storm raging inside him.
“Now that Jungkook is gone, we can go home. Thank you for dinner, Chaerin-sshi. Enjoy your meal and excuse us, let's get up.” Yoongi didn't mind being pulled to his room by him. It was true that sometimes he needed a hand to hold and pull him. “Let's go home, Yoongi…” His Omega said quickly. “Let's get out of here, this isn't doing you any good.”
The Alpha could only nod his head. Jungkook was no longer the boy he had tried to be as a big brother and father to fill in his gaps. He didn't need him as much as he thought.
And everyone found their way. Even him. A marriage that had started as an agreement was turning into something real day by day. He was lucky.
He had found him and made him the center of his life.
****
The days flew by and Jimin and Yoongi continued their life at home. Yoongi went back to his pile of work at the training hall, while Jimin, at Rina-sshi's urging, took a trip to the club.
It was one of the rare days when the snow stopped falling for a while. It was Jimin's first visit to the association in days, and his excitement was at its peak. Today he was going to start learning to read and write. As excited as he was, he didn't tell his Alpha about his plan. Instead, he woke up early and watched his Alpha sleep soundly for a while. After his heat, they always slept together in their bedroom. Flowers bloomed in the room now. The room that had seemed cold and stifling like a tomb to Jimin on the night of their wedding. Even though Yoongi usually slept without touching him, Jimin was glad of his presence. Just to have him where he could reach out and touch him. His scent was enough.
Today he wanted to make breakfast. He had somehow managed to get through dinner the night Jungkook had been attacked. He would be more careful now. He had gotten a lot of tips from Junhee in the last few days. The Beta was happy to teach him what she knew and smiled when he entered the kitchen. Before sunrise, he entered the kitchen and prepared the kimchi and rice he had learned Yoongi liked to eat for breakfast. Kimchi was out of season, so he had to buy it at the market. He didn't trust his kimchi, but he would try it next year. Yoongi didn't like dishes that were difficult to make, so this was a savior. After boiling an egg and cooking some sweet potatoes, he prepared the digestive herbal tea. When he was done after an hour, Yoongi was awake. “You're learning…” He said encouragingly, looking at him and the table with sleepy eyes. Then he sat down at the table and tasted the food.
Somehow Yoongi liked everything he did, even if Jimin didn't like it very much. How could he not fall in love with him? He acted very, very different to him. Even when no one was around.
“Thank you, it's delicious.”
“Thank you too. Eat well.”
“It's good to be home. It took me a few days in the mansion to realize that I'm used to living here with you.”
“Yes…” The Omega said, drinking his tea. “The air there was stifling me as well.”
“I'm going to check on Jungkook today. Let's see if he can really handle it.”
Jimin sighed. “Yoongi... I don't think you should go. Leave him alone. You're being too hard on yourself.” He didn't care that he had crossed the line because he didn't see it anymore. And he wouldn't until Yoongi put him in his place again. He wouldn't let his Alpha eat himself up. He would even protect him from Yoongi himself if necessary.
“You might be right… I should leave him alone.”
About an hour later, Jimin arrived at the crowded association garden. Obviously, there was an event today. As his eyes searched for a familiar face, Seokjin spotted him and came over to greet him.
Bowing respectfully, Jimin asked, “What's going on here?” He had brought a small bag with him and a notebook and pencil that he had stolen from home. He had to learn to write as soon as possible. He had to learn everything. He didn't want to fall behind anymore.
“This? The Omega meeting we made twice a year. People from other packs also come. Especially the noble Omegas, they come and participate or support the work. There are also ambassadors who speak on behalf of the Omegas of all the packs. They propose decisions that affect all Omegas. There is also the promotion of products brought from distant packs. They began to visit the displays set up in the garden. There were all kinds of products everywhere.”
“So today... Is our literacy class closed?”
“No, no. We will have a private lesson with you. Since you're here. The whole class will be here today, but there will be no teaching. You'd better get started before you fall behind. At least we'll talk about the first character and I'll give you some homework.”
Jimin blushed slightly, very happy about this special attention. “Thank you, Seokjin-shi…”The Alpha apologized and made his way to the few Omegas who had called him. Suddenly, Hoseok appeared next to him. He smiled at the sight as he took Jimin's arm. In his wool cardigan, matching hat and baggy pants, also of his own design, he looked far ahead of his time. No one in this pack, not even in Arashi, would dare to dress like him.
“Don't you think he looks very handsome?”
“Huh? Who?” Jimin asked absently. His eyes were on the counter opposite of him where two old Omegas were selling handmade chocolate desserts. They were made of that addictive cocoa. He could only eat them because Yoongi had bought them.
“Who could it be? Is there anyone else handsome here besides him? Seokjin...”
Jimin coughed chokingly. “What? Are you...”
The Beta, who couldn't take his eyes off the Alpha, sighed in admiration. “Yesterday he came to sew clothes for his daughter, we had a long talk. He doesn't come to my shop very often, he's not a talkative person, but you know how it is... It only takes one sentence to impress someone. The more he talked, the more impressed I was... He promised me that next time he would have a winter cloak made for himself. He had me take his measurements. He has perfect measurements, my God! Do you think he would take it the wrong way if I surprised him by sewing his cape?”
Jimin listened in shock. “Hyung…” He said and then squirmed. He didn't want to interfere and it wasn't his place to undermine his joy. “I don't know... Do you have any expectations of him?”
Hoseok sighed. “Honestly, I don't know, he's an Alpha and I'm a Beta, but this is the heart! It knows no boundaries. I could still get a negative answer. That's why I'm a little scared, but how far can I go alone? Seokjin shut himself up in his house for a long time after he lost his wife. But he's been recovering for a year now. Maybe I can't give him what his wife gave him, but I can fill the hole in his heart.”
Jimin paused as this reminded him of Yuri and Namjoon's sketchy relationship. If Namjoon, as a leader, could question the sharp distinction between Betas and other species, then surely the other members of the pack could as well. Besides, Seokjin had talked about the absurdity of this distinction.
“He couldn't advise others when he couldn't even handle his own relationship. “I hope everything is good and right for you, Hyung.” He said. Hoseok nodded and they dropped the subject. “Shall we go get some chocolate donuts?” He suggested after a while. Jimin's eyes sparkled with excitement, he didn't have any gold with him and chocolate was very expensive. “I don't feel like it…” The younger one said as Hoseok pulled him to the counter where the buns were lined up.
“Oh! I didn't hear you, chocolate sweets are very rare, I'll buy a lot of them when I find them. I'm sure you'll like them.”
“I do…”
“Can you make two packages?” He asked the Omega. Then he turned to Jimin and pinched his cheek. “Why are you pouting?”
“I left my wallet at home.”
“Don't be ridiculous! I have more gold than I can spend, my treat.”
Two hours later, Jimin was already in his first lesson with Seokjin and his daughter in one of the classrooms upstairs. He was happy that it wasn't as hard as he had feared and he had a lot of homework to do. Today, for the first time in his life, someone had taught him something for free. For the first time, he walked to class with his notebooks and books in his hands. Just like the Alpha students he had once envied. Maybe it was a little late, but he had finally achieved his dream. Knowing the language of the pack had served him well. His teacher praised him on his first day. Seokjin gave him papers to memorize the first twenty characters and told him to come back in two days. He carefully went over the characters and syllables with his precious quill pen. He had borrowed it from Yoongi's pens, and he could write with something called ink. Seokjin's daughter Mao gave Jimin a round of applause for every correct answer. She hugged him at the end of the lesson.
“You learn so fast, Omega Jiminshi!”
Jimin began to think that he had been living in a dream world for days.
At the end of the lesson, Rina-sshi asked him questions about the lesson and gave him an assignment after a short chat. It was Jimin himself who asked for it, because Rina-sshi had given him the world. “I want to help with something in the association, anything...”
“Okay. Then work with Sunghae and she will tell you what to do. I have to talk again now. I trust you.”
She trusted him…
Sunghae, a very impressive Omega with dark eyes and blond hair whom he had just met, told him what he had to do and then hurried away. Everyone was so busy that Jimin didn't want to bother anyone with questions so he took the reins and went to the stall that had been shown to him. This was a booth for general promotions of the pack. As a treat, everyone was given cinnamon and ginger candy, the special recipe of the pack. To the right of it, however, was a large leather sign that registered visitors to the association. Fortunately, he already had an Omega on his head, so Jimin was not embarrassed. After a moment of standing indecisively in front of the counter, Sunghae handed him the wood and asked, “Can you go and light the fire in the middle now?”
Jimin hurried to the big fire to do as she asked, it was much colder than yesterday, freezing even if it wasn't snowing. He had forgotten to put gloves on his hands on the way out. He managed to light the fire while the wood scratched his skin. He stood by the fire for a while, trying to warm himself. But not for long, because this time it was up to him and another Omegas to greet the new guests. He bowed to them and kept his smile on his face, just like his colleague next to him. This was something he was used to from his previous life. But this time, people respected him. “And this is Min Jimin, one of the newest members of our association, a diamond in the rough who we are sure will make a difference in the association.” Rinasshi soon joined them and gave Jimin a gentle hug.
“Park Jimin?” This was not a member of the pack calling to him. While Rinasshi was talking to his companions, the old Omega they had just introduced him to came over. She shook Jimin's hand. The Omega recoiled when he recognized the woman's face. This was an Omega he knew from one of his former packs, the Hōe Pack. He had earned his living as a servant in their home. His heart skipped a beat. Oh no, he thought. He had left the Hōe pack of his own accord, not because he had flowers, but because the Alphas would not leave him alone.
“I never thought I'd see you here. Min Jimin… You're married.”
“Yes…” He said, this time he didn't have to bow his head, he looked into green eyes he had never looked directly into before. “I got married.”
“Min Yoongi... He comes from a good family. You ended up in a good place. But we... We thought you were dead. You left the pack.”
“I had to leave…” He corrected. “It's hard to be a seventeen-year-old Omega when you have no one to protect you, Hana-sshi.”
“Do you two... Hnow each other?”
When Jimin didn't answer, Hana nodded. “We were in the same pack once…” She said. “I couldn't protect him.”
Rina smiled and looked at Jimin proudly. “He has found his pack now. We will never leave him.”
In the evening, Jimin felt like passing out from fear. He waited with his heart in his mouth, afraid that at any moment someone who knew he had flowers would come to the association and turn it into a war zone. When the newcomers arrived, he wanted to hide in the nooks and crannies of the association, but he couldn't. Luckily, a few hours later, the last of the guests arrived and there was a big feast at the club. Jimin was so cold and tired that he didn't think he could stay for dinner. But Seokjin and Rina insisted so much that he had to agree. Yoongi would be there too. The shivering subsided a bit as he sat down at the banquet table and ate his hot soup.
At that moment, his gaze met Yoongi's in front of the fenced wooden gate. The chair next to him was occupied, so Yoongi walked over to him and bowed. “Jimin…”
“Yoongi…” He said quietly. “They insisted that I stay for dinner.”
Yoongi saw his flushed cheeks and couldn't help but touch his cheek. “You're frozen.” Indeed, his Omega was shivering like a bird. “What have they made you do here?”
“Nothing…” He said, turning away. “I met some new people.”
“So you've been out all day?” He grabbed the back of his chair and pulled it back, sighing as the Omega muttered, “It'll be fine…”
“Come on, let's go home. You've been out long enough.”
Yoongi looked at Rina as she approached them, trying to contain his anger, “Are you leaving? Stay for dinner Yoongi.” She asked.
“It's cold.” He answered. “Jimin is sensitive enough these days, I wish you hadn't burdened him with so much work on the first day, Rina-shhi.”
“I-I couldn't take care of him properly, I was too busy.” She quickly leaned over to Jimin. “Are you okay? Are you sick? I'm so sorry...”
Embarrassed, Jimin stood up, took his Alpha's arm and squeezed it gently to shut him up. He didn't blame anyone, he did it because he wanted to. “I'm fine, don't worry.”
Still, they didn't join the rest of the meal and went home with Yoongi. “You're not wearing your fur coat either.” Yoongi said as they entered the house.
Jimin took off his coat. He couldn't feel his hands even though Yoongi tried to keep them warm as they walked home. “I never thought I would stay this long.”
“What did you do at the club? I wish you hadn't gone, it was colder than usual today. Even I couldn't leave the fire.”
He should have made up a lie, but he couldn't think of one. He was so exhausted that a hot shower would do him good. “It's okay Yoongi, don't worry about me. How is Jungkook? Have you seen him today?”
Yoongi wanted to argue, but he kept quiet. He went and filled the big basin with water and put it on the fireplace. “Go take a hot shower, I'll heat up the water.”
“Okay…” Said Jimin who already wanted to. Then he would get a good night's sleep and be ready for tomorrow. When the water was hot, Jimin dozed by the fire, wrapped in his fur. Yoongi made him a soothing lavender tea and brought it into the living room. He found him dozing and leaned over to put a hand on the Omega's forehead. He was burning, and this time it had nothing to do with his heat.
The Omega had caught a bad cold from spending the day in the Association. “It's... So... Cold…” The Omega mumbled as he removed the hand from his forehead and shivered as he tried to snuggle into his fur.
“Jimin-ah?”
“Hmm... Please… Please put more wood in the fireplace. The house is freezing.”
It was doubtful if he even heard him. His already delicate body had been battered by the cold air. This was not good. It was all Yoongi's fault. He had been so busy taking care of Jungkook that Jimin had slipped his mind. The Omega would never do that to him. He gritted his teeth. What would make him feel better? There wasn't much to do when someone had a fever. Surround him with soothing scents, maybe some arnica tea, but most of all a warm shower. He looked up and saw the pot of boiling water. He would go and prepare the tub for him. He would also wash him if necessary. He made a quick start. “Wait here, I'll be right back.”
He ran back while filling the tub with warm water. The temperature in the house was ideal for Omega. He sprinkled some fragrant herbs into the tub and hoped that it would make him feel better. “Jimin…” The Omega mumbled as he lifted his fur. “Let go of me...”
“Jimin, you have a fever. Don't be stubborn, come on. I've prepared hot water.”
“No…” He said and opened his eyes. He was not the same as he was an hour ago when he woke up, his whole body was in pain and he could barely see. Not to mention the pain in his throat, which he didn't even want to think about. He coughed. “No…” He said shakily. ‘Why not?’ He tried to remember. Oh, of course, he had a secret . “I'm going to wash myself.” He said.
“Okay.” The Alpha whispered back, even though she didn't agree. He took him under his arms and pulled him to his feet and hugged him. Jimin mumbled tearfully and buried his face in his neck. “I can't... I can't…”
“Shh, it's okay.”
“How could I do that to you?” Jimin sobbed into his chest and grabbed his shirt. Yoongi swallowed as he felt his hot breath hit his skin. He didn't know what he was talking about. “I'm sorry Yoongi... Please forgive me. I have no one else but you...” He sobbed again. “Don't turn your back on me.”
When they got to the bathroom, he sat him down on the bathroom drawers, just like when he was in heat. Jimin didn't want to let him go, he ran his fingers over his skin. “Don't go. Don't leave me.”
“I'm here.”
When a tear fell from Jimin's eye and landed on his chin, he sniffed. His whole face flushed, including his little hazelnut nose. He felt like he was drunk. He was very, very cold. As he wrapped his arms around himself, the Alpha checked the water. Then he turned to him and started unbuttoning his sweater. “I'll be here, don't cry.” He said calmly. His calmness in critical moments impressed the Omega.
But he cried anyway. “Don't do it…” He said, breaking down. “I'll take care of it.”
“But you told me not to go.”
“I don't want to bother you...” He pushed his hand away and wrapped himself in his cardigan. “I'm so cold. Please don't take it off.”
“But then you won't get better. You're cold because you have a fever. I have to undress you…”He grabbed Omega's chin, “Help me, please.”
“But I'm freezing...”
“It will pass, trust me.” He pointed to the water. “You'll feel better once you're in it.”
“Can we keep this on?” Jimin asked, still with a little bit of himself. He took off his cardigan and left him in his white tunic.
“Okay…” Yoongi said unconvinced and hurried to unbuckle the Omegas belt before the water cooled. He didn't know why he didn't want to be naked. It was a point that made him suspicious. Especially when there were no more boundaries between them. He covered his ears and tried to ignore what his wolf was saying. A strange, vague uneasiness came over him, he couldn't make sense of it. Jimin was good, he would never let anything happen to him. From now on, he would be even more careful. He would take better care of him and would never let him get sick. As he promised himself that, a strange pain shot through his chest, exactly where the birthmark had been. He gasped for breath.
It was only after a couple of minutes that he was able to get Jimin's pants off, but Jimin was asleep, his head hanging down to the front. Damn, he thought. ‘Why does my insides get all tingly when I look at him?’
When Jimin was half naked, Yoongi immediately scooped him up and put him in the tub. Even though he stayed outside, he was soaked from Jimin's reaction. He carelessly poured the warm water from the bowl over his head and Jimin struggled. “Mhm... I'm so cold…”
“It will pass, I promise.”
When the feverish Omega started sobbing and crying, Yoongi held him tightly and pulled him to his chest until he stopped crying. He made sure that there was no part of him that wasn't wet. He had to wash and dress him before the water got cold. Yoongi's hand slid under his tunic to his waist as his sobs turned into soft gasps. The pain in his chest didn't go away as Jimin gasped, coughed again and tried to pull away from Yoongi. He was doing it again. Like when he was in heat. As if he had a spot and every time he touched it, it blew his mind.
Yoongi straightened up with a frown and put it aside to think about it later. Then he washed the Omega that had turned its back on him again. He leaned his head back against the corner and dozed off. He grabbed the hem of his tunic and peeled off the soaked fabric to give his back a good wash.
Then he saw the delicate blue flowers sprouting from the hollow of the Omega's waist.
Notes:
here we goooo...🫣 please remember leave kudos and comment! thank you 💖
Chapter 20: The Flower of Betrayal
Summary:
"You never really saw me, to you I was just an annoying fly that hovered around you that you could kill at any time with a flick of your wrist. But you are my..." My lips trembled. “You are my whole world.”
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
20. " Does destiny permit our reunion or will blind fortune speak against our becoming one?"
YOONGI
Flowers...
The soulmate flowers…
On Jimin's waist were the soulmate flowers that he had been hiding from me for months, hiding them from me even though we were married, and maybe hiding them forever if I hadn't seen them. Damn small, delicate, blue soulmate flowers….
The lies I had faced when I least expected them were now slicing through my skin like knives.
I wanted to run, but I had to face them. I wanted to leave, but I had to stay. I didn't even want to look at his face, but I had to heal my Omega who was burning with fever and hiding everything from me.
Because that's who I was. I had knives in my back and yet I survived. I clung to the hands that would have killed me. I kept smiling even though I was wounded.
I trusted. I was wrong… For the first time, I closed my ears to the truth. I believed we could walk side by side to the end of this road.
I thought I knew him. But I wasn't even close…
Jimin was already shivering in the increasingly cold water and I couldn't stand to look at the flowers on his waist anymore. It seemed that from now on, wherever I looked, I could see those delicate flowers. How could he hide them from me? Everything became clear now, all the questions in my head were answered.
That's why he never undressed for a moment while he spent his heat with me. He tricked and deceived me, grimaced every time I touched his waist and avoided my touch like a baby deer.
I had even blamed myself for his behavior. I had devoured myself with the thoughts that he hated me, that the only person who liked my touch was his wolf, that he would never forgive me, that no matter what I did I would remain a vile, evil alpha in his eyes. I even thought he regretted marrying me, but stayed because he had nowhere else to go. In a way, maybe that was true
It was only a few days ago that I realized how much I had come to care for him.
Because I had trusted him... I had begun to believe that his tender arms around my neck and the beautiful scent of Ren would heal me. I wanted that if I was going to go all the way with someone, it would be the battered and bruised Park Jimin that I had met at midnight. I had given up everything I had been waiting for.
I struggled to breathe as the bitter liquid in my stomach boiled up into my throat. Trying to stop my hands from shaking, I wrapped a clean towel around Jimin's naked, smooth body in front of me and began to dry his wet skin. The fact that I had never met this Omega, who had spend his heat with me just a few days before, kept hitting me again and again. He had been my first in every way, how much more could I open up to him? I had given him everything. I swallowed the bitter liquid that filled my mouth. It dried his long, shapely legs, his plump buttocks, his arms and his waist. Every time the towel touched the flowers on his waist, I naively hoped it was a nightmare. The flowers seemed to disappear when I wiped them away. They didn't. They were real. I felt like I was losing myself, apparently intact, but as if I were running across a battlefield toward sharp arrows aimed at me. It was as if someone had picked up a spear and delivered a fatal blow to my chest.
It was my fault. I had brought someone I never knew to his dead ends, all the roads he had taken before our paths suddenly crossed one night. His sharp corners, the truths that made him who he was, close enough to hurt me, to wound me so badly. This time, the killing arrow had hit me where I least expected it.
“Mhm Yoongi... I'm cold.” I clenched my jaw tightly as Jimin leaned his head against my chest and snuggled closer to me. I wouldn't be surprised if my teeth broke... ‘Hold on. You can't just leave him like this.’
Where was I supposed to go anyway? I didn't say anything to the Omega. He didn't seem to understand anyways. I didn't even push him when he soaked my sweater with his wet hair. I just concentrated on drying his body and getting him dressed. After throwing the towel aside, I hugged Jimin tightly. Holding my breath so that I wouldn't smell his scent, I led him into the living room where the fireplace was warming the room. After sitting him down on the couch where he had just been lying, I looked around in a daze. Clothes… I had to get him dressed.
Jimin was shivering as he wrapped himself tightly in the fur coat I had prepared for him day and night. Drops of hair fell over his shoulders. I hurriedly got a set of pajamas and some unused packaged underwear from his room. I sat down next to him. “Can you put them on?” I said in a distant tone. I wished I hadn't seen them, I thought to myself. If he was hiding them, I wish he hadn't let me see them, and I would have continued to be a fool who still fell for the lies. When we learn a painful truth about someone, we also take responsibility for it. No one asked me if I was ready to take on another responsibility.
Jimin didn't react, his head tilted slightly to the side. He whimpered like a child when I grabbed the fur and pulled. His wolf wasn't even the last thing I wanted to face right now. Why did it treat me like this, like it hated me? Because the flowers didn't belong to me. It took everything out on me.
Those delicate flowers that made me feel like a horrible Alpha every time I looked at them? Oh, fuck. ..Fuck. I t was unbearable. It was betrayal. This was disloyalty. This was treachery. Jimin himself was like a flower of the Ren. He poisoned me. All the sentences he said, one after the other, hurt me. His panic when he heard what Ren was... His inability to look me in the eye… Because he knew himself. He knew what he was so well.
Pressing my lips together, I swallowed the pain that rose in my throat again and quickly pulled on his dark underwear without thinking about anything else. His skin I touched had suddenly become something forbidden, burning my hand, turning my stomach.
“You take such good care of me…” He said a few minutes later as I finished dressing him and buttoning his pyjama bottoms. My skin froze as he took my hand and pressed it to his cheek. “My one and only Alpha…” It was unbearable. I quickly pulled my hand away and dried his damp hair thoroughly, choking on his thick scent as it filled the house. He was sick and delirious. He praised me, wanted to smell me, and demanded attention. I made him one of the fever-reducing herbal teas the healer had taught me years ago and made him drink it, and I put a damp cloth on his forehead like my mother used to do for us when we had fevers. When he woke up, something would change irrevocably... I didn't want to think, I couldn't think, I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't even want to look at him out of the corner of my eye.
“Take my hand…” I clenched my fist at my side as he put his tiny hand on my knee. Don't... Take your hand off my skin, you'll set us both on fire. “Please , Yoonie …”
I wished he was conscious and I could spit out all my anger at him. I wished I could put him in his place, make him never call me Yoonie again. But I remained silent, I couldn't treat a sick Omega like that. Minutes later, I gave in to his request because he wouldn't stop insisting. I put my hand on his and he gave a satisfied purr and wrapped his fingers tightly around my skin. As if he never wanted to let go, but he already had. It was so hard. It was a pain I was not used to. As the hours passed and the fever began to break. I didn't leave his bedside. I couldn't… I stayed with him even though I couldn't breathe.
When he finally fell into a deep sleep, I sat down on the sofa, my clothes soaked from the struggle to wash him. Unable to do anything else, I drank the bitter liquor I had taken from the cupboard, emptying a glass, filling it up again... I drank until I forgot that he had told me that lie, that he had deceived me and used me, looking me in the eye.
What time was it? Was it daylight behind the curtains or was it still night? I didn't care. I was dizzy, nothing had gone down my throat for hours. I was so drunk, it was better that way. But I also wanted to vomit. Throw up everything I had learned.
I opened my eyes and closed them. Jimin was still sleeping in the same place, in the green sofa to my right. His fever was gone. I had healed him, but I had destroyed myself. The apocalypse when he woke up would tear us both apart. I realized that I didn't want him to wake up. I closed my eyes again. The liquid in my stomach rose to my throat, I almost threw up.
When I felt a soft touch on my knee, I came to my senses. When I opened my eyes and met Jimin's complicated gaze, all the air inside me was suddenly gone. I wanted to open the windows to breathe. The smell was too intense. “Yoongi…” He said in a deep voice. His hair was a mess, his cheeks still red like a pomegranate. But he was conscious, I wish he wasn't…
I wish he hadn't done this to me…
I didn't answer. I didn't look at him. I reached across the table and picked up the crystal glass, there was one last sip of liquor left. I drank that too.
“Did you sleep here?” He asked. Instead of pulling his hand away, he pressed it harder against my skin. My eyes found his hand on my knee. It hurt. I had ignored his touch last night, but I wasn't going to ignore it now. “Why are you drinking at this hour? Isn't it too early?” He looked around in a daze. “What time is it? How long have I been asleep?”
I clenched my teeth and wanted him to shut up.
Jimin threw aside the fur coat he was wearing. He stood up with shaky steps and opened the curtains, then opened the window wide to let fresh air into the room. I watched him stick his head out and catch his breath. His little feet were bare, his blond hair frizzy and disheveled. His skin was pale, soft like the delicate velvet of a leaf. I thought everything that belonged to him belonged to me… I had embraced him… Now he was just an acquaintance. I didn't even know who he was. A stranger with whom I lived in the same house, with whom I shared a bed, for whom I would almost give my heart.
“The weather is beautiful…” He said cheerfully. “Look... Not a cloud in the sky. I haven't woken up to such beautiful weather in a long time.”
That's when I realized that it really was like spring outside. The dark clouds that had left snow for weeks had been replaced by a bright sky. The birds had resumed their loud singing. The pack must have rejoiced at the arrival of this day. But for me, it was a dark day that I will remember for the rest of my life.
“Oh! Look at that bird!” Chuckled happily. “It landed on the porch railing. It's a robin, the harbinger of spring.” He bent down to see it.
I didn't want to wait any longer. I was determined to face him no matter what. I couldn't describe the feeling inside me… It was a nausea that would never go away.
When I answered him in silence, Jimin closed the window and looked at me with a look of sadness mixed with suspicion. He looked so innocent, if I hadn't seen his flowers, I might have been fooled. And he did. He could fool anyone with those big eyes. He could even fool me with his poisonous sentences. He was a Ren, I had to remember.
“Yoongi? Is something wrong?” He nibbled his lip. “I'm really sorry for bothering you again. I don't even know how it happened...”
“Jimin…” I said with a sharp voice. My stomach lurched and my heart raced as I realized what was coming. It was too late to control the storm of emotions. When had I ever been in control of myself? My vision blurred as I stood up, too drunk, too confused, clinging to the back of the chair, barely able to throw myself into the bathroom. I had last left Jimin in the living room looking dazed. I began to vomit violently, my heartbeat echoing in my ears, my breathing difficult and my body shaking.
I clenched my hands on the corners of the sink, my knuckles turning white, unable to breathe.
“Yoongi! Oh God...” I felt him tighten his grip around my waist, but it wasn't enough to hold me up. Everything coming out of him now was an illusion. As I fell to my knees, I tried to breathe, my face was red and I felt like I was going to die. This is how I felt the last time when I fought with Jimin over the ring. Unjustly. For nothing. He didn't deserve my sadness and remorse. “What happened to you?” He put his hands on my cheeks as I leaned against the wall. “Try to breathe…”
I tried to push his hand away, but he wouldn't let me. One, two… One, two... It took me a while to remember to breathe. But with his scent so close, I had to fight not to vomit again. I couldn't speak, the bitter liquid stuck in my mouth.
“I'll get you some water.” He said as he quickly left the bathroom and I heard his footsteps moving through the house. I counted how many steps he had to take to get back to me. My chest wouldn't stop rising and falling violently. My hands were shaking. I had thrown up everything inside me, it was just a few glasses of booze. I tried to stand up, the ruthless wolf inside me was furious that I seemed so weak. It had fallen silent, a strange, deadly silence. Obviously, it too felt betrayed by its beloved Omega. He had even betrayed it.
“Wait… Wait… Yoongi.” He bent down and brought water to my lips, so close to my face that his breath caressed my lips. “Drink some water, come on.”
“Stay away!” I growled like wounded prey. “Please…” He said, holding the glass stubbornly in front of my face. “Take a sip.”
I swung the glass away hard and it smashed against the wall, shattering and blinding me. “I told you to stay away!”
Jimin stepped back with scared, confused eyes and looked at the crystal glass that shattered with a loud crash. “Leave me alone…” I said in a choked voice. My grief, my pain... The calm before the storm… “Get out!”
“I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong. What did I do to make you suddenly turn your back on me?” He complained. Like I was always the guilty one.
“You never do anything anyway…” I repeated. “Get out.”
“I'm not going out!”
I replied when he was stubborn. “Then I'll go out.”
I struggled to get up from the floor, clutching the corners of the closet. The emotions that hadn't hit me this hard in a long time were crushing me. I hated who I was. To be so powerless. So desperate for the slightest bit of attention and love. I just wanted to be seen. It never ended well. My father was right, no one could love someone like me.
He kept following me as I stumbled along. He wouldn't give up. I ignored the little ache in my heart and threw myself into the kitchen. After washing my face with water, I put some in my mouth and rinsed it out. I wanted to hold him accountable, but where to start? My anger turned to frustration and my frustration turned to bitter acceptance. This was my destiny. Life would give me my comeuppance and make me sit down.
“Yoongi. Please talk to me. Have I done something to hurt you?” I turned to look at him with a wet face, his expression full of sadness. Again, I almost believed it was real.
“Please…” He said as he put his hand on my upper arm and squeezed it encouragingly. “Let's talk.”
“You want to talk?”
“Yes…” He said carefully. “I want to know.”
I nodded my head quickly. “All right, let's talk.” I grabbed his wrist and pulled hard, knocking the Omega who had followed me in surprise into a corner. “Sit down.”
He did so quietly, watching me with his hands between his knees, frightened. “I... I really don't understand. Why are you so angry?” He asked, raising his growing eyes to my face.
“I'm sure you'll understand soon. Don't worry, everything will fall into place.”
I turned my face away as his eyebrows furrowed, his scent indicating a slight panic. The words stuck in my throat as I grimaced.
“You're scaring me…” He said in a voice that sounded like a whisper.
“And you should be.”
“I don't understand...”
“Jimin…” I said, feeling that I couldn't fight this battle anymore. “You... You lied… About everything… You lied to me. ”
Jimin gasped as my words filled the room and made the air too thin to breathe. He understood. At first glance. Immediately. Of course he would have understood. But something inside me wanted him to deny it. I was a fool. I waited for him to look me in the eye, to trick me, to make me believe a lie. Maybe it would hurt less that way.
All the expressions worth seeing on his face faded, lost their color like a sunburned flower.
“Why are you silent? Let me guess. Because you can't deny it, right?”
“Yoongi…” He breathed. His eyes were fixed on the floor.
“Do they have a name?” The words stabbed me in the throat like a knife. “Your flowers?”
His worst nightmare had come true. His terrified look screamed it. I almost laughed at his one-man show as he quickly closed his hand over his lips. “Why are you surprised? How long could you hide it from me, from us... from everyone?”
I was speechless, just like last night when I saw the flowers.
“You don't even know their names? Let me guess…” I wet my lips. "Flowers of Betrayal? Isn't that your kind of name. Uh... wait, or look, ‘I fucking betrayed you’ flowers? You don't like it? Oh, well… Listen to this. ‘How I lured a stupid Alpha into my web’ flowers, or what?”
“Yoongi…” He interrupted with a pitiful sob. Seeing how miserable he looked made me want to tear him down even more. I clenched my teeth, clenched the fists beside me, clenched myself.
“Yoongi what? I don't suppose your flowers are called Yoongi.”
“Please...” He couldn't continue. He was stunned. He hadn't expected it. Because he had played so well that he couldn't understand how he could make such a stupid mistake. “Please let me explain…”
When I was silent, he added. “I was going to tell you.”
“When?” I asked, my voice was a silent cry. “When we have pups? Or when everyone but me sees your flowers? Until everyone rubs my face in what a stupid Alpha I am? Until someone stands up to me and says, did you know your Omega has flowers?”
Omega burst into tears and got up from the couch and walked over to me, and I just stood there like an indestructible wall. He had just seen himself destroy me, and he would not forget it even if he died. He held my hand as I looked up at him, his warm skin brushing against mine, his light floral scent filling my nose... I hated it all. His fingers gripped my sweater as he lowered his head and continued to cry softly. His touch, which had made me shiver until yesterday, now felt like a punch. “I've tried to tell you so many times, I've looked at your face and blamed myself every time I couldn't... But something always came up, please understand me. How was it possible to say it so easily?”
I shrugged out of his grip. “Don't touch me.”
“Yoongi…”
“Stop crying!” I shouted and he flinched. Suddenly he was a docile Omega, as if he could do whatever I wanted. He would do anything to make me believe him again, to close my eyes to his lies. I felt like throwing up again. “You played games with me… You tricked me, Jimin...” My voice cracked. “I trusted you. Maybe... Maybe more than I've ever trusted anyone. What kind of explanation can you give to make up for that? What can you say that will change what happened?”
“I wasn't playing you…” He struggled. “I was just trying to survive…”
“You didn't have to kill me to do that!”
He shook his head quickly. “I didn't kill you, I never wanted to hurt you. I didn't even think you'd be angry…”
“Why?” I looked at him in disbelief. “Did you think the Alpha you married was heartless? Am I a monster? I don't even know what I mean to you anymore.”
“No-no... I wasn't sure.” He wiped his nose. “I wasn't sure how you'd react. I tried so many times... I wanted to tell you when you were at your parents, but you fell asleep. Then... Then the night Jungkook got hurt. Remember, I wanted to tell you something...”
“Stop it!” I shouted, none of them offering me a mitigating excuse. “It was all weeks after we got married. You should have told me the day we decided to get married. Not after it happened. You were too late.”
“How could I?” He said through his tears. “I was afraid you wouldn't marry me then. I didn't know you at all.”
I laughed. It was the most honest thing he'd ever said. “God! Of course I wouldn't. What makes you think that's a valid excuse? Would you marry someone with soul mate flowers?” I shook my head from side to side in confusion. “You just admitted that you tricked me, how could you be so... despicable?”
“Yoongi, I...”
I moved closer to his face, his breath caressing my lips, I interrupted him. “Did you have fun? Did you enjoy looking into my eyes and telling me lies? The show is over. I'm done Jimin. I hope I entertained you well.”
“Not like that!” He shouted and grabbed my sweater. I grabbed his hand and pushed him away. “Get your damn hands off me!”
“It wasn't easy…” He sobbed and threw himself on the couch and started to cry. Snot running down his nose, he looked as innocent as a child. Just for a moment. Then it turned into another nightmare. Every time I tried to integrate into the world, people abandoned me. “I swear it wasn't easy… I had no one Yoongi. No one to consult… No one to ask for advice... No one to find a way. Try to understand me. I was alone in this world and then… Then I found you. Finally. ”
I interrupted him. “Me… You found the dumbest Alpha you could fool.”
“You know you're not.”
“I am. Being married to you for a month was enough for me to realize that.”
He stepped back and looked at me painfully, sadly… “Yoongi, please try to understand. For my sake...”
“For fuck's sake!” He didn't move when I pushed him to get out of my way.
“It's your right to be angry. Yell at me, scream at me, but please listen to me.”
“Get out of my way.” I laughed nervously. “Don't try to provoke me. I'm not going to do anything to you because you don't even deserve me to yell at you.”
“I had nowhere to go. You were the end of my path. I realized it when you saved me, I saw it in your eyes...”
“Cut the crap! You saw it in my eyes… What did you see, huh? How good a catch I'd make? That I'd be a good candidate for your dastardly ambitions? How many Alphas have you tried that on?” I shook my head from side to side, trying to escape his presence. The more he spoke, the more the words hurt.
Another drop trickled down his chin. “How can you say that? Don't you even know me a little?”
“I never knew you, Jimin. I only built you in my mind and the you there is completely different. You were never the kind of person who would tell me a lie like that. I always wanted it to stay that way. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I shook my head from side to side, I couldn't stand this endless argument any longer. No matter what he said, he would fall out of my favor. “You have a soulmate and you screwed me over. You married me in a hurry. Do you know how much remorse I felt when I proposed to you? I spent nights with guilt, thinking I was using you. And the ring? Hm? That night you killed me with guilt? Your attitude... How real it was! I really thought I hurt you. Do you have any idea how bad you made me feel? I even told you about my soulmate. I confessed everything to you. I asked you to forgive me, I tried so hard not to fall out of favor with you, but the whole time you were playing with me.”
“You think it was all a game?” He choked. “Do you think everything we've been through...”
“I thought that the hesitation that I caught in your gaze, even when you were in your heat, was because of me. I thought you were embarrassed, that you were uncomfortable with me, that you almost hated my touch and that the only one who could tolerate it was your wolf. You made me feel disgusting all the time, and it was all about your disgusting game.”
“I wasn't playing games with you! Just because I didn't tell you about my flowers doesn't mean I tricked you! That's enough, you're not even listening to me.”
“I've had enough of you! I don't want to listen to you, Jimin! Nothing you can say will change what happened, won't make me forgive you.”
“You have to listen. Nobody listens, so please listen.” His eyes filled again.
“Your victimization doesn't work for me anymore, stop crying, I don't care..”
His eyes flashed with anger. “Is that why you are so angry? You don't get that angry with someone you don't care about.”
What could I say, I wanted to hurt him and I hurt myself the most. Everything that had happened flashed before my eyes. “You are right. That's why I'm telling you, I'm an idiot. I cared about someone like you. I thought we could really have a way together. I even killed someone for you!” I laughed and raised my hands. “I have blood on my hands... And even then, instead of being grateful, you came at me and made me feel like shit. That's all you did! I tried to survive in a cruel game where you changed the rules every day.”
Jimin shook his head in defeat, he had stopped fighting. “You're right… It was my fault… I'm sorry for standing up to you that night, Yoongi. I'm sorry that I was even born…” He pressed his lips together and looked at me with his glassy eyes. “How did I dare to exist?”
I couldn't take it… I didn't want him to make me pity him… I'd be less mad if he just stood there and punched me in the face. I wanted him to defend himself. I wanted him to make a fuss. I wanted him to scream that he was right… But he knew he wasn't, which proved that even the hardest things I said about him had a price.
This marriage that had been consensual from the beginning was now a cage in which we were prisoners. I couldn't scream the truth, I couldn't reveal his secrets, I couldn't even leave him. But one of us had to go. But I knew that an Omega like him - an Omega with flowers - had no chance in the outside world. I couldn't just throw him away. He was my Omega, afterall.
But then, he had never really been mine to begin with.
“Who was it?” I said, lowering my shoulders. His eyes found mine again. “Who was the owner of the flowers?”
He let my question go unanswered for minutes. His eyes fixed on a corner, his body shaking. He seemed to be struggling to control himself. But I had asked a simple question. I would have taken him to the owner of the flowers if he had wanted. But he had obviously been avoiding him all along. Or, I don't know, maybe he was already dead. I desperately wanted to know everything and not find out at the same time.
Five minutes had passed before he finally spoke. “They didn't have an owner. I was born with flowers, and it seems... they will never have an owner. They are etched into my skin, they belong to me and me alone.”
It made no difference to my expression. I grimaced at his absurdity. I had no idea what he was babbling about, and that familiar pain settled in my chest again. Maybe we should have stopped talking, we weren't getting anywhere.
“Born with flowers... Who would believe that? I'm afraid you'll have to find a more convincing lie.”
The look of disappointment in his eyes made me feel bad, as if I didn't feel bad enough already.
“No need. After what you just said, I don't need to find a lie. You've left me with nothing to say.”
“It shouldn't have been so hard to tell me that you had a soulmate… That you ran away from him and took refuge with me. But it was my fault for asking that of someone like you. You keep telling lies...” The conversation was over for me. I had no faith that the rest would be any different, so I gave up trying to wear us both down any further. I kind of ran away, even though I knew this house was the place I would come back to. I walked out, picked up the jacket I had left on the couch, and without even looking at the wreckage I had left behind, I picked up the pieces of myself. I slammed the door and walked out of the house.
JIMIN
I always knew this would happen… That one day my greatest fear would come true. No matter how much I put it off, the truth would catch me at my weakest moment. And so it did…
When my Alpha slammed the door in my face and walked away, I don't remember how long I lay still on the couch. All I knew was that everything was shattered beyond repair. It was as if life had given me a spoonful of happiness and then scooped it up. That's what it was. For two days I had even thought that he and I were getting along well, and that if I told him, he might be able to take it well. How naive I was. I had forgotten how painful his words could be. They were deadly. But I had survived. He would have told me to die if he could. Just as he was about to change his mind about me, I broke him with the truth. He must really hate me now.
And I hated him...
Suddenly, I was the villain of our story. All backs were turned against me, all doors slammed in my face. If word got out about what I was hiding in the pack, they wouldn't let me have a home here either. Yoongi wouldn't accept me.
How could I tell someone who thought that I was running away from my soulmate and that I was taking refuge with him that he was my soulmate? How could I say that? And strangely enough, my wolf agreed. I didn't know anything anymore, all my plans had fallen apart and I was left in the middle. I had reached the end of the road, I had sunk into the darkness I was afraid of. And the evil voice inside me said there was no way out.
How could I clean up the mess I had made? How could I make Yoongi see me again?
I stood up and wiped my tears with the back of my hand. He didn't recognize me. He wouldn't recognize me. Never... Never ever… I thought he'd understand when he saw the flowers. How naive I had been. I couldn't stand the pain anymore. I was tired of being hurt.
Who was I without him? I had spent my life looking for him, neglecting myself. What was I… Who was I… I had tons of questions. I didn't know the answers... I wish I hadn't destroyed myself so much for someone who didn't know me.
I still felt a little sick, but my heartache was more than anything else. I wanted to breathe, the resentful and angry pheromones that filled the house were choking me. I'd never smelled Yoongi like this before.
I remembered the names he'd written on my flowers and all the painful things he'd said to me. I didn't deserve to hear that. I didn't think about it. I pulled myself together and took off my pyjamas. Instead, I put on my tidier, thicker clothes. I finally managed to get up, even though I was on the verge of crying several times while I was getting ready and found myself whimpering in bed. After putting on my other coat instead of the fur coat with his scent on it, I left the house.
I didn't know where I was going, I was too sick to concentrate on my studies. I didn't want them to see my broken state at the association. I needed a caring arm, at least for today. I could take refuge with some people who didn't really know me, and then it was unknown. They will turn against me when Yoongi tells them. I didn't resist as I walked towards the market and found myself in Hoseok's clothing store. As soon as he saw me, he stopped what he was doing and stood up, “Jiminie, what a nice surprise!”
Would he treat me like this if he knew the truth about me? Was there no one in the whole world who would accept me as I really was? Would I always have to pretend?
“Hyung…” An unexpected sob escaped my lips. I reached out to throw myself against his warm chest and hugged him tightly. His perfumed skin smelled good and I needed his warmth and reassurance more than anything. “Mimi, what happened to you?”
“Can't you ask?” I whimpered. “Can we just hug?”
“Of course...” He put his hand on my neck and stroked my long, tangled hair. I was a mess, I had no one to hug my lies.
After a few minutes of standing there, Hoseok took me by the wrist and sat me down on a red velvet cushioned chair and handed me a handkerchief. I realized that my face was soaking wet, so wet that I had even soaked the collar of Hoseok's satin shirt with my tears. I took the handkerchief and dabbed at my eyes. “I'm fine, it'll pass.”
He pulled up a chair, sat across from me and cupped my cheeks. “I've never seen you like this, you look like you've been through a war.”
It was a war…
I shrugged and nodded. “I'm fine. I just needed to cry a little Hyung, don't worry.”
“Your eyes say it all, don't lie to your Hyung.”
What could I say? I kept silent. Looking at the shelves of fancy hats, glittering jewelry, and colorful clothes, I made up an excuse that wasn't entirely false. “Yoongi and I had a fight, that's all.”
“What!” His voice rang in my ears.
“It's nothing, Hyung.” I said, trying to calm him down, but his brow furrowed even more. “Of course it's a big deal if he made you like this! I can't believe it! How could he do that to a perfect Omega like you, I'm going to destroy him.”
I held his hand even though I was full of mistakes. “Calm down, Hyung. I was really... wrong. Please don't say anything to him.”
“But...”
“If you care about me at all...” I added. If Hoseok got on my Alpha's head, I'd be in even more trouble. I knew now how Yoongi could get when he was angry, he could tell him anything. Anything… And I would lose my friends again before I could even explain. “I'm crying because... Because we've never argued before. We're usually very good, you know…” I was still lying, but it was much easier to believe. “I'm just... I'm crying because I upset him.”
“No kidding! What could you have done?”
“I was unfair to him…” I choked, and another tear rolled down my chin. “That's all you need to know. Don't ask more Hyung, please... I came to you because I had to go somewhere.” I wiped my nose on my handkerchief. I felt so helpless. I was lost. I wish someone could help me.
“You can always come to me, no matter what. You can trust me, Jiminie.”
“I know...” No, I didn't… I didn't know…
“You can stay here as long as you like. I'll go and make you some hot winter tea, it'll calm you down.”
“I don't want it…” I hiccupped. Even the tea reminded me of my Alpha. How worried he was last night when I had a fever. Would I ever see that look on his face again, would he feel sorry for me or happy, or compassionate?
“Well... Then I'm going to get you some delicious ramen noodles with vegetables from the shop across the street. You probably haven't had any breakfast.”
“I haven't…” I said, pursing my lips. My stomach was in my mouth, but I was hungry. I needed someone to take care of me and I satisfied that hunger with Hoseok.
“Okay, wait for me here, I'll be right back. I haven't eaten either, we can eat together.”
As soon as he left the store, I put my hands over my face and burst into tears again. I cried for a while until he came back and tried to let it all out. At the end of the day, I shuddered at the thought of having to go home. I was afraid of him. He was like a snake oozing venom. And the worst thing was that I couldn't get mad at Yoongi for it. I had no idea how many different ways I could tell the truth to someone who couldn't even stand the sound of my words, who didn't have any faith in my explanations. My hands were tied so tightly that I was sure Yoongi wouldn't realize we were soulmates even if he blossomed right there.
Maybe he didn't deserve a soul mate…
“Here I am.” When Hoseok returned with two large bowls of ramen noodles, I quickly wiped away my tears and stood up to help him. “Come on, eat.” He said as we sat down at a table in the back of the shop. “Look how pale you are, you look sick.”
“I had a fever last night, a cold…” I said, sneezing. I literally felt like shit.
“Oh no, you shouldn't have gone out like that!”
“Don't worry, I'll be fine...”
“I got some herbs from the herbalist over there. I fall into bed every time the seasons change, it'll do you a lot of good.”
“Okay Hyung…” I obeyed and grabbed the delicious smelling ramen. I took some of the onions and peppers and drank the broth, I didn't realize how hungry I was until I was eating. I dug into the food quickly, forgetting everything for a moment. “Do you like it?”
I nodded. “It's delicious…” And then I remembered the day Yoongi had taken me out of the house and to the ramen shop when I first came to the pack. I remembered how I was then, I still had so much hope. I put the spoon down as if I'd been punched in the stomach.
“Enjoy your meal.” Hoseok drank some of his soju. “How are your literacy classes going?”
My eyes widened, even though I thought it was a secret. “Who did you hear it from?”
“Was it something I wasn't supposed to hear?” His brow furrowed. “Seokjin told me when he came here. That you are a very good student.”
I blushed. “No... Well, I-I wanted to surprise Yoongi. That's why I didn't tell him that I learned to read and write.”
“Don't worry, I won't say anything. I promise.”
I was smiling, spooning down the last of my ramen noodles, when a familiar voice came from outside. “Hoseok, where are you?”
It was Yuri. She was surprised to see me as she stepped through the curtain and reached the back. “Jiminie, what are you doing here? Yoongi just said you were sick and resting at home.”
“Is that so?” Came out of my mouth. So he wasn't telling the truth…
She came over and touched my forehead, “You don't look bad though, did you leave without him knowing…” She said laughing.
“Y-yes, I was very bored. And I'm fine, I don't have a fever anymore.”
Yuri nodded and collapsed unceremoniously into the other chair. Then she picked up one of the meat buns Hoseok had in front of her and split it. “Yoongi seemed a little sluggish…” She added as she chewed. “Are you making him too tired?”
“Don't you know, they had a fight.” Hoseok explained as I pressed my lips together. I almost put my hand to my forehead. Everything was going to hell. Yuri turned to me, her big blue eyes shining. “What do you mean, what happened between you two?”
“He didn't tell me either, so don't push it…” Hoseok interjected. “Jiminie, I'm sorry, I guess I made things more complicated.”
“It's nothing important…” I said in a voice so weak that even I could barely hear it. I wanted to leave.
It was something very important, a crisis I didn't know how to get through… A crisis I couldn't find a way out of.
“Anyway, these things happen between married couples. You got married so suddenly that you didn't even really know each other.” Yuri nodded, but her expression was thoughtful. “Even Taehyung and Jungkook fight a lot.”
“I'm sorry…” I said quietly. “I gave you a headache too, it's really no big deal.”
“I wanted to come over today…” Yuri said. “Mom wants you to invite us to dinner as a family now. She asked me to ask you when you're free.”
Oh, shit! I blinked. I doubted we could handle a dinner like this in our current situation, but I had to agree so they wouldn't be any more suspicious. Just then Yuri added. “I asked Yoongi, Jimin knows…” He said. “But I don't think it's the right time.”
“Did he say that?”
“Hm-hm.”
“Well, it's a little late today, so I won't be able to finish the dishes... But we'll wait for you tomorrow night…” I said, putting my hands in my lap and nibbling at my lips.
“You don't seem to want to. I'll tell Mom, no problem. You can pick them up when you're ready.”
“No, no, I want to... I'm just a little worried. Will Chaerin-shi like my cooking?”
“Of course she will… No one can tell you anything. I'll protect you.” I tried to smile as she took my hand. But I wasn't sure. I wasn't wanted in this pack anymore, if Yoongi didn't want me, no one else would. What would I do if the truth came out? It was as if they had tied my tongue so I couldn't speak. My wolf prevented me from speaking, and I had the suspicion that something worse would happen to me. As if something worse would happen to both of us if he found out we were soulmates. Maybe I was making it up in my head… Maybe I was the one who was avoiding telling him the truth. After his reaction today, I felt like I was back where I started.
I left a few hours later, just before Hoseok closed his shop and went home. I had to leave. My feet actually went backwards with every step I took home. I was carrying a bag full of colorful scarves, soft cloth gloves, and different kinds of jewelry. Hoseok had given them to me to keep me entertained like a child. I had resisted taking them. But he had found a way to give them to me. I didn't want to lose them. I didn't want to leave behind the people I called my family when I had just found them, I didn't want to pay for my mistakes. I hadn't made any mistakes, so why were they punishing me? But inside, why didn't I feel innocent at all, as if I was full of mistakes from head to toe?
When I went into the house with the fire burning in me, I found the house exactly the same as I had left it in the morning. A mess. In pieces. But I soon realized from the change in smell that Yoongi had arrived home before me. Usually he would have been later. Maybe he wanted to continue his fight with me. There must still be things he couldn't tell me. I swallowed hard and took an uneasy breath as I slammed the door behind me. My scent, my presence, everything about me must be bothering him. I must be causing him pain, so I had to get out of his sight. As I was quietly walking to my room with the package in my hand, Yoongi came out of the bathroom and the two of us stopped at the last moment after we almost bumped into each other. He stopped when he saw me. With a towel around his waist and wet hair as Yuri had said, he looked rather pale. Then again, he's terribly attractive just the way he is.
“Well…” I said, looking away. “I was in Hoseok. I didn't know you'd come before me. Are you hungry?”
Why did I ask him that? He didn't care, he didn't like my cooking anyway. Even if he did, he wouldn't like it. He wouldn't eat anything out of my hand because he thought I was poisoning him.
Yoongi walked past me as if I wasn't the one his eyes had accidentally touched, and then he disappeared into his room. I stared after him. We'd been through everything, but I don't think he'd ever ignored me.
That's what hurt the most and Yoongi knew it. My scars, my weaknesses. Maybe everything but who I was and what I meant to him.
Still, I called after him. “We're having dinner with your family tomorrow. Just so you know. make an excuse to your parents if you're going to ignore me tomorrow.”
The door opened unexpectedly, Yoongi was wearing sweatpants, but he was still naked and drops of wet hair dripped down his smooth chest. “Maybe they want to hear the truth. What do you think?”
“Are you threatening me?” I lifted my eyes to his face and gave him a tired look. “If you weren't thinking of yourself, maybe you'd have told them already, huh?”
I was as surprised by my reaction as he was. This time I couldn't even get angry at my wolf who was leading me, because I had been humiliated enough by my Alpha. This was the moment I had to keep my tail up, I would try it this way.
“Stop acting like you're in the right and try to be grateful that you can still live in this house.”
“So you're going to kick me out?” I said laughing. “What will you tell your parents, that I abandoned you? Or the truth? But won't your Alpha pride get in the way? That's why you keep me around, isn't it? You wouldn't last a minute with me if your pride allowed it.”
“I don't want to talk to you anymore, Jimin. You're not worth it.”
“You're not worth my tears either.” I said, but my voice cracked and my eyes filled again.
“Then don't cry.” I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw hurt as he slammed the door in my face and went into his room. ‘You don't deserve to be my soul mate.’ I said in a whisper. ‘You don't deserve anything.’
But the only thing that could hear me were the silent walls between which I was once again alone.
*****
I locked myself in my room, climbed into bed in my clothes and hid under the covers. I wished I could go back twenty years, before I was born. Maybe my mother's womb was the last place I felt safe. I didn't even want to cry anymore.
So I slept, and when I woke up, the sun was already high and Yoongi had already left. The house was a mess and the sharp shards of yesterday's broken glass were everywhere.
For the rest of the day, nothing much happened. I had some pretty heavy guests for dinner and it would be a good opportunity to forget the situation I was in, if only for a moment. I was terrified of having guests for the first time in my life. I wish I had some talent. I wish my mother had taught me how to cook instead of how to always find something to be happy about. After Taehyung's feast, no matter what I did, I would pale in comparison. Still, I wanted to do my best, so I went to work early in the morning. Before cleaning the house, I wrote out the menu in a broken handwriting as best as I could learn the letters. But I just couldn't get into it. And the letters were so hard to make that I went crazy. Maybe it was because I was trying to learn them after the age of twenty, and I couldn't get my head around the strange shapes. But Mao learned so quickly.
While I was struggling in the middle of the cluttered living room, there was a knock at the door. Panicking, I shoved the papers into a corner and ran to the door, briefly relieved to see it was Beta Sieri, the cleaning Beta.
“Welcome, Sieri. The house is a bit messy today.” I closed the door behind her and put my teeth to my lips nervously. Soon she saw the mess on the floor, who knows what she was thinking in those two short seconds. I quickly explained, “The glass fell out of my hand... I'm clumsy. That's why there's broken glass everywhere.”
“It's okay, Jimin-shi. I'll take care of it. I heard you're hosting the Min family tonight.”
“Oh yeah…” I sighed. “Yeah…”
“What are you going to prepare? Chaerin-shi is very picky.” The middle-aged woman began to pick up rugs from the floor. It was so sudden that she stopped me when I tried to help her. “I'll take care of it, Jimin-shi, please don't touch it.”
“Ah... Okay.” I nodded and stood in the middle of the room. It would take me a while to get used to someone doing what I had once done. “I'm going to the kitchen then, I'll do my best from now on... If you need anything, call me.”
As I threw myself into the kitchen, anxiety took over my whole body. I began to nibble at my dry lips while fumbling with my hands and feet. What was I going to do? What was I going to do?
What was I going to do with Yoongi, who didn't know me and yet knew my secrets? What was I going to do with my half-assed life, what was I going to do with his family, who didn't accept me? I couldn't find answers to any of these questions. I was tired of playing games. What if I could just tell him everything and get it over with? Maybe it would have been worse. Maybe I would have been tested with evils I couldn't even imagine.
For the rest of the day, my troubles haunted me. I made very little of the food I wanted on the menu. But this time I didn't burn it because Sieri came to my rescue. In fact, I was so embarrassed when she looked at me that she could have told the whole pack how incompetent I was. She must have sensed my embarrassment because she kept quiet and encouraged me as I was about to burn the pork steak. “It happens, none of us are born cooks.”
I wish I had been, at least I had some skill.
I choked back tears and tried to do what she said. After a while, when I realized that I was completely dependent on her, I sent her to continue cleaning the house. I should have done it. I had learned the tricks. I could do it.
And I did… At the end of six hours, I looked at the steaming food, all of it edible, none of it burned or ended up in the trash. And I had even made gingerbread cookies, the kind made in every household in the winter. The dough wasn't easy to get right, though.
When Seeri had to leave after a few hours without seeing the results, I felt all alone. Yuri hadn't shown up either, although she'd promised to come by. It was as if they were all lying in wait for me to criticize. How could one person prepare a feast for so many people? Taehyung had a mate, of course, so they could handle it. Yoongi hadn't even come home yet.
Hours later, I threw myself on the couch, my back aching. I still felt a little sick, my voice hadn't fully recovered, but the fever had gone down thanks to Yoongi's intervention. I kept thinking about how he must have felt that night, what kind of predicament he was in when he saw the flowers and I was unconscious with a fever?
I wish I could have said everything that night.
My guests would soon be arriving. I had to get through the night, but it would be hard to keep smiling after what happened the other day.
*****
At eight o'clock, there was a knock on the door, I recognized the smell coming from outside the door, it wasn't Yoongi. His whole family was there except Yoongi. “Welcome, please come in.” As I stepped aside, Dohyun walked in first, with his large frame and expressionless face, nodding his head. Then Chaerin glanced at me and gave me a disapproving look, and before I could react, Taehyung leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I wish you'd take care of yourself as well as your food, Jimin-shi.” before gliding swan-like into the living room. I couldn't compete with him. He was wearing a white wool turtleneck with diamonds around his neck and a light red color on his lips. I was in my clothes, ruined from cooking.
“Is my hyung not here, Jiminie?” Jungkook paused as he took off his jacket, “It's okay to call you Jiminie, right? After you gave me your scent, I feel like we've overcome all the distances between us.” he said playfully. Even in this state, he made me laugh. “No, it's okay..” I said as I took his jacket.
Just as I was about to close the door, leather boots appeared in the doorway and stopped me. My cheeks immediately flushed when I saw Yoongi's face. Damn it… My weakness for him was killing me. Even though I hated him, a part of me was so caught up in him. He came in as the harsh wind outside blew his hair around. “I'm home.” He said. His eyes never left me. He turned his head to the right. Our guests were watching. “Welcome. I'm a little late.”
“You left your Omega alone. Look, he didn't even have time to get dressed. Why didn't you help him?” Taehyung asked and crossed his legs.
I wanted to help Yoongi take off his jacket, but he stopped me with a look. “Something urgent came up, I'm late. I'm sorry, my love, I couldn't help you much.”
My love. God, it was so cold, my body felt like it was freezing. My hands were in the air because I couldn't grab his jacket. I stood there for a while not knowing what to do, Taehyung's look cutting me like a knife. “I took care of it, no problem.”
“I'm kind of starving…” Jungkook said, his voice accompanied by a happy laugh, “When can we eat?”
“I'll set the table right away.”
Yoongi walked past me and sat down on the couch where everything happened yesterday. “It's such a small house…” Dohyun said, which I noticed was his first time in this house. “Do you fit in here? You're a Min, I told you to build a bigger and fancier house. You're embarrassing us.”
“I think it's great. Sometimes we can't find each other at home.” Jungkook said while taking the soju Yoongi offered him. Yoongi said in a calm voice, “I thought it was appropriate, Jimin doesn't want to show off.”
“You want to call me ignorant, Yoongi-shi?”
Chaerin tried to smooth things over while Yoongi ignored her. “Not at all Taehyung, you belong to a noble family.”
“Yes, but mom...” Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Anyway...” He added. “I like it, it's like a box. It's perfect for you. And Jimin can't handle a big house, he's not used to it.”
Even though I overheard the conversation, I didn't join in, he could needle me as much as he wanted, it wasn't the last thing I needed to worry about right now. “Our Omega is quiet too.” He said as he put the glasses down on the table. “Are you tired, Jimin-shi?”
“Beta Seeri did a complete overhaul of the house today, he cooked dinner, what's there to be tired about?”
“You're right, Chaerin-shi, I'm not tired, I just didn't get much sleep last night.” With a quick glance, Yoongi turned his head away from the soju.
Being strangers with him made me feel like I was walking the whole thorny path all over again.
Yuri said, “Jimin had a fever last night, that's why. I told him we could come over for dinner later, but he said no. I hope you're feeling better, did we tire you out?”
I nodded quickly, my nose running again, my brain aching inside. “I'm fine, don't worry Noona.”
“Why don't you cure your omega with those teas you made us drink, Yoongi?”
He shrugged at his sister. “I did my best.”
There was a loud crash as I tried to hurry up setting the table and dropped the salt shaker on the floor. Yoongi came into the kitchen and quietly helped without saying a word. It was as if he wanted to rub it in my face to show me how incompetent I was. I would like to say that I overcame him quickly, but the torture was just beginning.
“Did Yoongi cook the food as well?” We were all sitting at the table eating the appetizer of miso soup with meat. Chaerin asked as she tasted the soup with a spoon.
“No, I prepared everything.”
“Good, everyone should know their place... Yoongi's place is in the training hall, not in the kitchen.”
“Don't worry, sir…” I said and he gave me a good indication of where I was.
Yuri said “Actually I wanted to help you today, but my mom locked me in my room, can you believe that? She had to test you, please forgive me, I promised you yesterday...”
“Mom…” Jungkook said, “You're so cruel.”
“I'm just being fair. Only Yuri knows my special recipes and I didn't let her help Taehyung either.”
“Oh, what the hell!”
“Stay out of this, Yuri!” I swallowed hard and watched Yuri's reaction as she sniffed the soup and brought it to her mouth. My heart was pounding and my hand holding the spoon was sweating. Yoongi, who was sitting next to me, finally took a spoonful of my soup. It was the first time. It was the first time I had served him a real meal. I was pleased with the result. I think it was much better than the first time. When I looked at their faces in horror, Chaerin wrinkled his nose, “You've spiced it too much and the onions are too big. If you chop them like that, they won't cook well.”
When she listed a bunch of things, I took it all as friendly advice and lost it in the back of my mind. “Yes, Chaerin-shi, I'll follow your advice next time.”
When Taehyung stopped eating after a few spoons, I asked him in a low voice, “Don't you like it?” He smiled. “I don't want to eat too much and upset my stomach, dear. Good for you, I think you will improve like this…”
Yuri interrupted. “I loved it.” Jungkook finished his soup, “What else is there to eat?”
I stood up and poured the spicy tteokbokki into the empty plates, which was the hardest part for me because the rice cakes didn't hold together. Still, I wanted to make it because I'd heard it was Dohyun-shi's favorite dish. After placing the kimbap plate in the center, I sat down again. I waited with my heart in my mouth, I felt like crying if something happened. I needed Yoongi's warmth, his tender words. He didn't even play games tonight. He didn't even talk to me. He was as cold as a stone wall.
Dohyun spoke for the first time, “I don't like this…” He said, pushing the plate forward. “What else?”
That was it. He could at least thank me. I swallowed.
“Dad, you don't have to be so rude!” Yuri snapped.
“It's admirable that this is the worst tteokbokki I've ever had. If you applaud it for being bad, it won't try to be good. Just like your mother taught you.” Tears welled up in my eyes as he wiped his mouth with a napkin, and I quickly stood up and took his plate. “Would you like bulgogi?”
He gave me a small nod as I headed for the kitchen, I could hear them whispering behind me. Yuri and his father continued to argue, this time even Jungkook complained about the lack of heat and salt in the food. My hand began to shake as I put some rice on the plate, just as my Alpha's voice boomed from the table. “If you don't like it, you can eat at home. This is my home and I have no complaints about the food.”
I almost dropped what I was holding, I still existed in his eyes… I might still have a chance… As I bit my lip to keep from crying, Chaerin called out to me. My tteokbokki had failed. All the plates were full. And Yoongi had eaten everything… Again… He did it again, making my heart race.
I sat down next to him and continued to drink my cooled soup, not speaking at all. Hope and sadness hit me at the same time, I was a mess.
“Is there a problem between you two?”
I looked at Chaerin who looked at us skeptically and shook my head, everyone understood. Maybe Yuri had said it, but when I looked at her, she shook his head from side to side. “Uh... No, no, Chaerin-shi…” My voice trailed off. Yoongi ignored the question and ate some of the gimbap. Cold wind blew across the table and Taehyung didn't stop staring at me.
“Are you feeling better? Is your leg completely healed, Kook?”
Jungkook swallowed his bite and nodded at his Hyung. “Yes, thanks to your mate, I recovered quickly.”
“We couldn't talk about that…” Dohyun put the spoon down and drank the soju. “Is there a reason why you smell like Ren?”
I panicked when I realized that Yoongi was strutting next to me. At any moment, I expected him to say, ‘Because it suits him. Ren is the flower of betrayal and he betrayed me by hiding from me that he was an Omega with flowers.’
But he didn't speak, my fear didn't happen. Maybe he wanted me to explain, maybe he expected me to laugh. I cleared my throat. “Who knows, Dohyun-shhi. I didn't expect it either. Maybe it has something to do with Yoongi and I getting married and healing each other.”
“Yoongi needs healing…” He said with a hint.
Jungkook cleverly changed the subject. “The kimbap is great, Jiminie.”
Still, it didn't help. Dohyun was persistent. “Your scent has been heard in the pack, talked about a lot. You must know how to control it. It could get you into trouble.”
I was surprised to hear what Dohyun said, I didn't know if he was thinking of me or the peace of his pack, so I thanked him.
“Don't thank me…” He said sternly. “You may have helped Jungkook, but that could be trouble in the long run. You're trouble in your own right, bringing nothing but bad luck to the family.”
I really tried, clenching my teeth so hard that my jaw started to hurt. “Don't worry, I won't do anything to hurt you.”
I wished I could. I wished I could ruin him with my Ren. He was nothing but a nuisance to Yoongi and me. I clenched the fork. I clenched myself.
“That's enough!” Yoongi said in a harsh voice. “Did you come here to insult my Omega?”
“I came because your mother made me.” His father said. “And now I'm leaving, I'm going to eat some real food.”
“There were desserts, father?” Taehyung said sarcastically, ignoring him.
When Dohyun waved at Taehyung and left, I went into the kitchen to calm my shaking body. I put my hands on the edge of the table, shook my head and tried to control myself. Soon, Taehyung was right next to me and I was surprised when he put his hand on my shoulder. His eyes weren't mocking me anymore. “Hey. Are you upset? Dad is like that, you have to know how to deal with him.” He huffed. “The thing is, if my parents weren't Kim, he would have treated me the same way he treated you. Alphas...”
“Taehyung…” I said, turning away from him. “Can you please go back to the table?”
He took the dessert out of my hand, “You're really weird tonight, did something happen?”
“No…” I walked past him, leaving the dessert on the table that was already falling apart. “Dohyun's in a bad mood, the meeting went badly.” Chaerin explained, while Yuri rattled off a series of excuses, but I had expected him to go further. I didn't know what to expect from whom, what arrow to take from whom. I was on a battlefield and I didn't know who was friend and who was foe.
“He's going too far…” Yoongi said. “I don't want him coming to my house anymore.”
“He's your father...”
“He will know his place. Or I'll let him know.”
“You make me very sad, son.”
Yoongi put his soju to his mouth and didn't answer. I could see the flashes of anger in his eyes, I wasn't sure if he was angry with me or with his father.
After a few minutes, everyone got up from the table and I started clearing the plates. I didn't ask anyone for help, Yuri asked me a few times if I was okay, but I brushed her off. I hated having the kitchen in the middle of the house, in plain sight, I needed some time alone. Yoongi brought new plates while I poured what was left on the plate. “I'll take care of it.” I said quickly. “You go inside, you don't have to help.”
He sighed. “They're my family, you don't have to serve them. I'm helping you for myself. And I apologize for what my father said…” He murmured honestly without looking at me.
I looked at him with tears in my eyes as he began to carefully clean the plates. “Yoongi…”
“Don't say anything.” It was more of an order than a request. Of course it was. Still, it warmed my heart to hear him do it the way he always did.
As a tear fell from my eye, he added. “Tteokbokki wasn't so bad either, nothing to cry about. That’s what they do, they make you sad,” he said. And with that, he walked away.
I wanted to ask him, “And you? What makes you any different? You're the one who breaks me the most.
*****
I was a wreck for the rest of the evening. It would have been inappropriate to leave the guests alone. So I sat on the green sofa in the living room and did nothing but dig my fork into the plate of yugwa, a traditional dessert that I had made with great difficulty. Yoongi was chatting with Jungkook to my right, and a moment later I was bombarded with questions. I had failed at acting this time, everyone knew that something was wrong with me.
Even Chaerin felt sorry for me and tried to make me feel better. “There's no need for that, Jimin, if you're so depressed because of Dohyun. You saved my son's life against all odds, and I can't repay you for that.”
Yuri, who was standing next to me, poked me in the arm before I could answer. “Look, even my mother is grateful to you, don't worry. My father loves no one but himself.”
“I...” I said, not knowing which of my worries to pursue, my confidence in my scent shaken tonight. “I didn't think my scent would cause trouble, I just wanted to help.”
“It won't.” Yoongi said sternly, obviously overhearing our conversation. “I asked you to do this and if anyone is to blame, it's me.”
“You were thinking of your brother Yoongi, I'm sure that won't be a problem, your father is just neurotic. He'll learn to control his scent soon enough. You can help your Omega.”
Yoongi looked at me out of the corner of his eye and nodded, then downed the rest of his frothy drink from the copper mug. He had drank too much again tonight, he obviously couldn't handle it any other way. So what was I supposed to do?
Taehyung yawned, “Shall we go now?”
“Yes, I'm tired too.” Chaerin stood up and put his teacup on the table. “Thanks for dinner Jimin, next time I'll send Yuri to help you, you still have a lot of tricks to learn. With a little effort you can do it.” An eyebrow raised. “You need to learn how to cook before you poison my son.”
“I'll do my best.”
Yuri hugged me as she left. “Don't worry I'll help you whenever you want, okay?”
“Okay, Noona. Thank you.” Jungkook left as well and I handed Taehyung his coat, but he didn't put it on, he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me to him. “It's going to be okay…” He said as I stood there stunned. “Yoongi needs to rub his nose in it a bit, I can teach you how to train an Alpha anytime you want.”
“Taehyung…” I said with a grimace. “I said we're fine.”
“Oh dear, you didn't come to raise the white flag. Do what you want.”
I laughed wearily as he turned away from me, rolling his eyes. “I'll keep that in mind.”
“Good night then.” He nodded and went out, we passed all my guests as their breath evaporated from the cold and when we came back in I was alone in my palace of sadness again. Yoongi went to help clean up. “I'll take care of it, you must be tired.”
This was one of the dozens of sentences I didn't get an answer to. After cleaning up, he went back to his room without saying anything. I didn't fight this time either, I was too tired to fight. I didn't know if I wanted to spend every day with my heart in my mouth, wondering if he would tell the truth. I didn't want to be the product of the fear that had settled inside me. Tomorrow was a new day. Maybe tomorrow my wolf would realize there was no point in being stubborn. For some reason, I believed that it knew best. I was willing to do whatever it said because I didn't know anything anymore. I had failed miserably on the path I had chosen with my own decisions.
Maybe... Maybe things would work out and I could tell him what he meant to me. I still had so much to fear, whereas yesterday I was sure I had nothing to lose. There he was. He was still in this house, still defending me, still thinking about me, even if from afar. No one could compete with me when it came to waiting in vain.
*****
The next day I had to leave the house because Rina-shi had called me. When Jin told her that I had been absent from class, she was worried and insisted that I be in class. She believed me when I assured her that I was fine and brought up my illness. No matter how distracted I was, I focused on Jin's lectures and took notes. I felt better today. I learned a few more letters and got applause from Mao for reading the simple words. It felt good. It gave me morale and confidence.
After a few hours the class was over and I came across an event at the association. The Omegas who took my arm wouldn't let me go. When they forced me to eat the food they prepared, my hungry stomach went along. Then I attended a lecture about the Omega deaths in one of the remote packs. This forced me to hold on to life even tighter. I was an Omega, and being an Omega in the world was perhaps the hardest thing in the world. I had experienced it up close, so what they were talking about was not foreign to me at all.
Throughout history, Omegas have been despised, forced into marriage, marked, raped, and murdered. The deaths mentioned in this speech were part of that history. I was almost certain that they had been poisoned by the Alphas. While I listened intently to the conversation, I noticed Yuna entering the garden of the association. I knew that she had gone to the Jung pack, where her family's relatives lived. She hadn't been in the pack for a while. Seeing her after that dinner was like a strange stomachache. She was different from Hyuna, but she still bothered me. I looked away when her eyes found me.
About half an hour later, the Omegas left me alone and went back to their work. I could hear Yuna laughing in the corner, and when Rina-shi caught me looking at her, she said, “Yuna also visits and donates to this organization. I'm sorry if she bothered you...” I jumped in. I didn't want to sound like a jealous Omega. “No, she didn't. Why would she?”
“You know, she and Yoongi were on the verge of getting married for a while.”
“That was before Yoongi met me. Besides, my Alpha wasn't really interested…” I said in an almost irritated tone. It was as if I had taken Yoongi away from her, as if Yoongi had married me to get rid of her.
Soon I excused myself to go home, got up and left. I was walking out the door when Yuna suddenly appeared next to me. “Jimin-shi hello.”
I didn't bother to stop and look at her. “Hello and goodbye.”
“Oh, what a vulgar attitude. I've never even spoken to you, so why are you my enemy?”
“You are not my enemy. You and I are nothing.”
When she took my arm, I stiffened and stopped. “I wanted to talk to you about something, and I couldn't congratulate you on your marriage.”
“Oh, come on… We have nothing to talk about. We're going to bitch about Yoongi?” I liked that I showed my teeth when it came to her. I had to admire my wolf for that. It was jealous of its Alpha. And so was I. Maybe a little…
Yuna laughed. “I see you make a good couple. You're just the right Omega for him, quiet, lonely... Helpless, with nowhere to go.” She laughed. “Like prey for Yoongi's mouth. But you're starting to talk a little.”
“What are you saying?” I said, pressing my lips together. I didn't want her to get on my nerves.
“You don't know anything, do you?”
“I don't want to talk to you.” I grabbed the package of sweets the Omegas had given me and headed for the path to the house, but Yuna was persistent, she followed me and caught up with me, grabbing my wrist. “Stop, I'm trying to do you a favor. Why are you running away? Let's talk.”
“Let go of me, Yuna. I said I have nothing to talk about with you.”
“Of course I understand that you don't want to know the true face of your Alpha.”
I pulled hard on my wrist and Yuna smiled mockingly. I wondered what she was talking about, maybe I shouldn't have listened, but it was tempting.
“Are you ready for what you're about to hear?” Yuna asked, tossing her long, wavy brown hair. “The truth about your Alpha...”
I gritted my teeth, not knowing if she was bluffing or serious. I crossed my arms over my chest and listened to her. “I can imagine the stories you've heard about me. You must have thought I was eager to marry Yoongi. That explains your aggression…” She shrugged. “Just so you know, even with all the pressure from his family, I wouldn't marry Yoongi even if he was the only Alpha left in the world. I came to dinner that night to make amends, to give the Alpha a chance, but he didn't deserve it. He didn't want to marry me because he knew I know everything. That's why he took an Omega he didn't know and brought him into the pack.”
“What are you talking about? Is this the sound of your jealousy?”
“Oh, come on…” She giggled, showing me her huge diamond ring. “I'm engaged, to a gorgeous Alpha, and God saved me from Yoongi.”
I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my ringless hand behind my back. I didn't even have a ring to signify our marriage. We had never had one made. And the elegant ring Yoongi had designed for his soulmate was not mine. What a big joke…
“Yoongi was mated to his ex-fiance Hyuna, my dear. Yoongi was an Alpha who had a mated Omega in his heart who died. After he caused her death, his family tried for years to get him to marry someone, but they failed. Nobody would marry an Alpha like him. Except an Omega like you, all alone and helpless. I told you, you were perfect prey for him.” She huffed. “I should be thanking you for saving me from that damn Alpha.”
My blood ran cold. I stared at her face for several minutes with my lips parted, trying to make sense of what I was hearing. How could he? How could I? Was everything I knew a lie? This half-baked story she told me... It couldn't be. I couldn't believe it.
“So, Jimin-shi… Your Alpha didn't throw me away when he saw you. He knew that I would be a formidable opponent. You were much more suitable for him than an Omega who knew him.”
“Enough!” My heart was in my mouth and I started to feel sick. I wanted to go home as soon as possible. It was getting dark and I could barely wet my lips and say, “I don't believe you. “Yoongi would never lie to me, you're just jealous.”
She laughed again. “I'm going to get married soon and leave this pack. You think I'm jealous of you, I'd feel sorry for you.”
I didn't want to listen to her poisonous words anymore.
But it all sounded so logical, so fitting to the story I had been living all this time, that it was impossible to pass it by. It was as if the pieces were falling into place.
After the ring... and this, no. It couldn't be that. It would have killed me.
Not after everything he'd told me, not after he'd made himself out to be this perfect, never-failing alpha of integrity. My tears of remorse could not have been in vain. The thought that I had wronged him could not have been a lie.
I felt like vomiting, my head was spinning, my palms were sweating despite the cold weather. Dragging the packages in my hands, I entered the yard of the house. I could tell from the footsteps that Yoongi had just arrived.
He was the one who was using me and dragging me into a despicable game while telling me, his soulmate, that I was using him.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I wiped them away with the back of my free hand, I was shaking. He had used me... That's why... He couldn't feel me because he had mated with Hyuna. He had betrayed me before I was even in his life, and he was still betraying me now. And if that wasn't enough, he took senseless revenge on me. That's why our mark would never become a true mark.
He lied about everything…
When I unlocked the door with the key and walked in and saw him in the kitchen, I lost control. His scent filled the room in a way that even I could smell, and my own anger filled the air. Even I could feel Ren's strength. Yoongi must have felt it too, our eyes locked as he stopped chopping the onions and put the knife down on the counter.
I threw all the packages I had in my hand into a corner, burning with rage.
Yoongi grimaced and frowned as my scent intensified. I wanted to poison him with my Ren… Make him suffer, kill him and then bring him back to life.
“Jimin?” He said worriedly. How he was playing… Now he was the one who stepped back. Because he had never seen me in a rage and he would see it tonight.
“How?” I said coldly.
“What are you talking about? Your scent...” He put his hand to his throat as if he couldn't breathe, “Control your scent...”
I took a step towards him and punched him in the chest with such force that before he had time to be surprised, he found himself against the wall a few feet away. His back slammed into it with such force that everything in his hands crashed to the floor. “I hate you!” I said angrily, cold tears streaming down my face.
“Jimin! What do you think you're doing?” I was on the verge of punching him in the chest again when he grabbed my wrist and I couldn't move.
“You lied to me!"
“I should be the one…”
“Shut up! You're a fucking liar! All you were doing was enjoying the game while you were yelling at me, insulting me... Hurting me in every way that I can think of. What you said to me two days ago... You weren't even hurt that time. We switched roles, Min Yoongi. I learned everything. The Omega you used to play with… The Omega you used to take advantage of… The Omega you used to look down on… He learned the truth. Just like you did. But you know what?” I pressed my thumb firmly over his heart. “Unlike you, I had real feelings… I never played games with you. When I cried for you, it was real...” I hiccupped and then, after a moment of disbelief, I put my hand over my mouth and made a sound of pain. “Shit! You destroyed me two days ago and now you're killing me.”
“What lie are you talking about?” I pulled away from his hands as he came closer and tried to grab me, “How dare you touch me?”
“Jimin…“
My heart was crushing as I looked at him through my tears. I couldn't remember ever falling so low. Every time I said it, it got worse. “I can't take it anymore…” I said in a weak voice. “I can't take it anymore, I... I didn't understand... All the things you said, your past, your sudden decision to marry me. You deceived me. I felt like I should be grateful to you. You treated me badly, you talked about boundaries, you gave me nothing... And now you're trying to take away what you didn't give... I really... I really do…” I gasped. “I really hate you.”
The feeling was too strong to overcome. It was like a hurricane that would sweep us both away.
“Stop it! Let me explain myself.”
“Like you let me?”
“I don't even know the subject, what could have happened all of a sudden? I didn't deceive you, Jimin.” He shouted now. “Is that how you want to cover up your mistakes now? Is this the best you can do?”
“Yuna told me everything.” I put my hand to my mouth, breathless, tears in my eyes.
“Yuna?” he spat.
“What happened? Are you surprised? Even she thinks of me more than you.”
“Stop talking nonsense…”
“I'm not talking nonsense! Shut up!” He grabbed me around the waist as I tried to move away from him to the other end of the hall. When his touch on my flowers hurt more than ever this time, I let out a scream of pain and fell to my knees. “Let go of me.” I said, struggling. “Damn it... Damn it…” But he didn't let go, holding my cheeks with both hands as he collapsed to the floor with me, forcing me to look up at him. My vision was blurred, I was aware of what my scent had done to him, he looked confused and distraught.
How could he fake it so convincingly?
“Jimin, look at me. Look into my eyes. I swear I don't know what you're talking about. Yuna must have wanted to bother you because I didn't marry her. What did she say to you?”
“You know what she said.”
“I don't know. I swear.”
“Let me go…” I cried. Every fiber of my being was on fire from his touch, the fire of awareness burning me. I realized that my feelings for him had nothing to do with us being soulmates. That I was truly and irrevocably in love with him. I lost control.
“No, I won't.” His warm touch on my cheeks, the tears running down my cheeks into his hand, my trembling body... I was a wreck. “Tell me…” He said in his soft voice. “I promise to listen.”
“I hate you…” I said again.
“Shh…” He wiped the tear from my eye and asked again. Was he really the Alpha who destroyed me two days ago? “What did Yuna tell you? Tell me.”
I hiccupped. “You were mated with Hyuna.”
I waited minutes for him to protest, trapped by the silence. “What?” He said, frowning. “Yuna told you that?”
“You don't even protest…” I stepped back and let go of him, leaning my back against the couch and pulling my knees to me, I just wanted to cry. My voice was so weak. I only realized how intense my feelings for him were in these few days of turmoil. “Actually, you still love her... That's... that's why…” I sobbed. “That's why you married an Omega like me. I was easy prey, I was an outcast... You took advantage of my weaknesses. How did you do that? After I let you get the closest to me... I was this close to telling you all my secrets. Your…” I sobbed again. I hated crying in front of him. I didn't want him to pity me or feel sorry for me. It would hurt less if he was an enemy. He was my soulmate, and suddenly he was as far away from me as anyone could be. “I thought there was a way with you... That you could really love me…”
I didn't even know what I was saying.
“Jimin…”
“Let me finish, you'll have plenty of time to talk, but I'm not sure I'll listen.” I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my shirt. “You never got over Hyuna. You were mated with her and you lied to me about everything, so you always felt guilty... When you looked at me… When you touched me... The only person you thought about was Hyuna. You never really saw me, to you I was just an annoying fly that hovered around you that you could kill at any time with a flick of your wrist. But you are my..." My lips trembled. “You are my whole world.”
Yoongi stared at me for a moment, stunned, unblinking, and then swallowed, he was broken just like me. He must have thought I was pathetic, and he was sad that his advantageous situation was over now that the truth was out in the open. I wanted to run into the woods… To disappear… To run until I died… My father was no longer in my dreams to guide me, I was all alone. I had lost my way…
“Jimin-ah…” He said and raised his hand, but he couldn't touch it. I shielded myself from him when his hand stayed in the air for a moment and he stepped back and shook his head. “I'll tell you everything…”
Notes:
Okay..This chapter was an emotional battlefield...
please leave kudos and comment, I can’t wait to see what you think!!!🥺
Chapter 21: The Past
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Your foxes circled in my head. Their teeth have left their mark on my soul.”
Park Jimin was born in a small makeshift hut on the edge of the wild forest outside the Kōra Pack, among the reeds that stretched down to the river, on a warm Saturday morning four weeks before the winter solstice. Born in this tiny hut that his father had worked so hard to build for his tiny family, Jimin had been a well-behaved baby from the very first moment he was born. He never cried. Instead, he opened his big, round eyes wide and looked up at his mother, who quickly snatched him from his father's hands and held him in her arms. The only people around were the newborn Omega's parents. They were on their way to the river to go fishing when the contractions suddenly began and they dropped everything they had in their excitement. His father held his wife's hand tightly and never let go until Jimin was born. After about an hour of hard labor, Jimin entered their small, lonely world. Both his mother and father cried. This baby was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen.
“Unique…” Was the first thing that came out of his father's mouth. For he had never seen eyes like the eyes of his little children. They were yellow, like a smoldering flame, bright and warm. As his father looked into them, he thought that no other Omega could have such eyes. His wife agreed. She wiped her sweaty brow with her sleeve and looked at the baby in her arms, silently observing what was happening. He was still naked. His mother hadn't finished the blanket she was knitting for him, and she didn't have enough wool. So his father took off his tunic and put it over the baby to keep him warm. “This will do for now. I'll go to the market and buy a nice baby suit for him.”
“But we don't have enough money” He Said his weeping wife. A beautiful and well-behaved baby like him did not deserve such a poor life. Who would? He came earlier than they expected, and they didn't even have clothes to dress him in. They had nothing to give him except the milk that flowed from their large breasts. She touched her son's little nose with her finger. She wrapped her husband's tunic tightly around him. Fortunately, the weather was warming up. Still, she told her husband to light the fire.
“I'll find a way… I'll exchange some clothes for our dried fish.” The young Alpha, whose name was Park Seon, couldn't get up and leave. “He's beautiful, isn't he? He's our little miracle.” He pressed his finger into his son's little palm and the baby grabbed his father's finger with his fingers.
“We'll take good care of him…” His mother sniffled, still out of breath from the birth. Even the scar between her forehead and temples was visible. She sighed as a warm breeze blew in through the broken window. “We will raise him so well that everyone will admire this little Omega. He will not live in poverty as we do. He will have a big house and an Alpha who loves him very much. And we will see him happy.” She kissed her son's hazel nose. “Even if we are not with him, we will watch from our place in the sky.”
“May he always be with us…” Seon said in an irritated tone. “I'll take care of him. He doesn't need an Alpha.”
His wife chuckled wearily. “Are you jealous already?”
“Look at him... Look at his eyes…” He sighed. “Have you ever seen eyes like that?”
“To tell you the truth… No…” Park Juna said. She'd had too many newborn babies in her hands. She used to take care of the babies of the wealthy families in the Kora pack until her pregnancy began to take its toll on her. “This is a first. The Omegas that show up at birth have either blue or green eyes.”
“Our son's Omega will be unique.” Seon said. “What do you think? He could be a Vita.”
Juna laughed again, her husband was the main reason she endured this life. He always found a way to be happy and make her smile. “Vita...” She paused. “Perhaps he will take a different path than the other Omegas. Maybe our son will become a sage, a seer... Or a magnanimous person who works to make people's lives easier.”
“In a pack that thinks Omegas shouldn't interfere in the Alphas' business?”
Juna shrugged, the baby asleep in her arms. The tiny brown freckles around his nose counted, and his hair was yellow as if the sun had touched it. “Things can change, Seon… You know that.”
As his father moved to pick him up, he realized something they had missed. “Juna... What's that?”
Juna sat up to see where he was pointing and saw the marks on her baby's waist. Seon gasped and touched his finger to the grayish color, obviously under the skin marks in the lumbar cavity. His babies, who hadn't made a sound since birth, suddenly began to cry loudly. No matter what they did, they could not silence him.
The couple looked at each other with wide eyes. Neither of them knew what it meant. Birthmarks didn't work like that. It was obviously a wound that hurt their baby every time they touched it. Their baby was sick. Not like normal babies. They hurriedly got ready and went to the pack seer who lived on the edge of the mountain. After unpacking the cloths they had wrapped around them, they asked the seer what this mark was.
It was the biggest mistake of all. It was the moment that would start Jimin's hellish torment…
The seer took two steps back in fear and began to pray. “This…” She said and quickly put the baby into his mother's arms. “It means you can no longer live in this pack.”
“What do you mean? What are you talking about?”
“Your baby is cursed, son. Either you give him up and sacrifice him to God, or you will be cursed with him.”
“What curse, what are you talking about?” Juna put her free hand to her mouth as she sobbed in fear. “He's an innocent baby!”
“Juna…” Seon said, stepping in front of his wife and protecting his baby. “We are not leaving our baby. Who do you think you are and how do you know?”
“Then show him to all the seers and healers you want. They will all say the same thing. But not all of them will be as merciful as I am. I'm going to give you a few months. If you don't pack up your things and leave the pack, I'm going to tell the leader everything. I'm in charge of this pack's land. This baby brings bad luck and misfortune. The man led them out of the hut. “It's like nothing I've ever seen. No wolf should be born with soulmate flowers. They should only bloom when they are reunited, otherwise it is a curse.”
“Soulmate flowers?”
“Who owns them? Where... How?”
“Only God knows… Get out of here now.”
The door was slammed in their faces. As difficult as their life had been, it would be a hundred times more difficult in the future. They went back to their hut with a crying baby in their arms. Neither Jimin nor Juno stopped crying for a moment. So Seon threw himself out of the house and went to the pack to clear his head and buy his sons whatever he could trade for five kilos of dried fish. But no one would give him anything of value, like clothes. On his way home, empty-handed and miserable, he met an old ajumma on the road. This ajumma, whose children had died in childbirth, told him that she knew his wife had given birth.
“I can tell by your smell, you smell of milk.”
His wife had given birth to an accursed child. How could he say that? “Yes…” He said, clenching himself to keep from crying. “She gave birth. We have a beautiful baby.”
“Come, I'll give you this package I prepared for you, I've been thinking about it.” He followed her home and she handed him a bag of unworn clothes. “I packed these for my own baby twenty years ago, I have to give them up now. You are a good Alpha and your wife helped me a lot in my time. Take these.”
The Alpha, who had expected to return empty-handed, was overjoyed and thanked the Ajumma many times. When he returned to his home, he found his son and his wife asleep on the bed on the floor. Their baby had finally stopped crying. The baby, whom they hadn't even had time to name, was leaning against his mother's bare chest.
His heart ached. Why did he have to be born with flowers? Wasn't their life hard enough? He looked at him and made a decision. He would protect his baby with his life.
He sat down beside them and took the baby in his arms. His wife opened her eyes quickly, she was very frightened. “What happened? Seon... Did you bring him something? He's so cold, look...”
“Yes…” He said, rubbing his nose against the baby's cheek. “Look there.” He pointed to the bag behind the door. His wife was so happy to see the things that she smothered her Alpha in kisses. How hopeful she was. But her baby was cursed.
“What are we going to do, Juna?” He asked, looking at the baby absentmindedly. “We're in trouble with him.”
“We are his parents. We will do what we have to do. There is nothing that binds us to this pack. We will go where no one will recognize us. Deep in the forest, south, maybe.”
“One thing at a time. First, we must give him a name.”
“And hide his flowers from everyone.”
“We could wrap a cloth around his waist…” Juna suggested. “Or maybe they will fade.”
“What if the Seer is right?”
Juna sighed and looked thoughtful. “I won't give up on him, no matter what.” She smiled and hugged her son to dress him. “ Park Jimin… ”
“Jimin?”
“That's what I named him. Do you like it?” The woman nodded softly, a tear falling from her eye as she looked at her son. “It means unique in the old Kōra language. It suits him perfectly.”
*****
By the end of the week, baby Jimin's flowers had become more and more noticeable, and his mother's hope that they would go away had faded. A week later, when his mother undressed him to bathe him for the first time, she didn't want to look at the spot where the flowers had been. She felt that if she didn't, she would forget that they were there.
But there they were. So many tiny little flowers dancing in buds around his waist. “Look, Seon…” She cried. “What beautiful flowers our son has... They're blue.”
Seon examined his son's flowers, but this time he didn't touch them. He had cried so much after the first touch that they both became very gentle. Otherwise, Jimin was a well-behaved baby who rarely cried and never upset his mother. It was as if he was saying, “I'm already causing you enough trouble.”
“Do you think he has a soulmate?” His father asked, rocking him in the cradle he had made for him. He was tired from work, he had only caught two small trout, and they ate fish and some boiled potatoes, as they did every night.
Juno shook her head from side to side. “I don't think so... Then there wouldn't be a curse.”
“What if there is?”
“If we find him, maybe the curse will go away.”
She returned to the main topic, thinking about the deadline the Seer had given them to leave the pack. “We have to get out of here, Seon. Time is running out. We have to go where there are people who don't know about him and us…” She sighed. “If there is a soulmate, he will find him eventually. There's nothing we can do.”
“Except light the way…”
She nodded. “Except light the way…”
But Seon actually thought differently. In his opinion, their beloved son didn't need a soulmate either.
There was no Alpha in the whole world who deserved his presence.
*****
No matter what they did, they could not stop what was going to happen. They could not defy fate. They left the Kōra pack and headed further north. They found an abandoned hut near one of the northern packs. The Ming pack did not take them in. However, they took pity on them as a family with children and left the hut to them.
Jimin lived there for several years. Until the age of six, when he was suddenly separated from his family and had to make his own way in life. When a great wolf plague ravaged all the packs, his family was also affected. First his father fell ill, then his mother. The plague was merciful only to the young. Children were more likely to survive than adults. Jimin did his best to heal his parents with his little being. Barefoot, he stepped on the snow-covered ground and ran to the pack for help. Wiping his snot on the ankle of his old tunic, he bowed to the Alphas he had never met and begged them to help his parents. The hardest days of his life had begun. He understood…
No one helped them. Everyone was in the same situation. Those who were not in the same situation stayed indoors to avoid catching the disease. Jimin walked home frustrated. He had two tangerines in his pockets that he had stolen from a stall. He hadn't eaten for days. His father loved tangerines.
When he returned home in a state of excitement, he witnessed a sight that made him realize for the first time what pain feels like. His father was dead… The tangerines remained in his pockets. The long, painful journeys they had taken with him, the times they had spent lying on the velvet grass at night and comparing the stars in the sky to animals. The feeling of security when he held him in his arms, the wooden animal figures he had carved for him, were all gone. Everything was gone. All that was left was his mother.
She was about to leave as well. No matter what he did, he could not keep the time. Death was chasing them. His father had told him about many hunters, but never about Death himself. The most merciless, evil and cruel hunter.
Jimin could hardly remember those days. He would have remembered more if he had known that the beginning of his life had been the best days of his life. But he had forgotten.
A few months after he turned six, his mother handed him over to strangers he had never met. Jimin cried a lot behind his mother's back when he broke away from the woman who was dragging him by the hand and ran as fast as he could to his mother. He hugged her skirts. “Why are you leaving me, Mom?” He sobbed. “Did I cause you too much trouble?”
“You are the best son in the world, Jimin...” His mother sobbed just like him. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me, the only thing you gave me was endless happiness.”
“Then why are you leaving me?” Jimin sobbed and buried his face in his mother's legs. He wanted her to hold him and tell him that it was all a joke. He didn't want to leave her. Didn't his mother love him?
This was undoubtedly the most difficult moment for a mother. She had to give up a part of her own life... It was like abandoning him. Her little baby. She didn't know how she would survive without him. But this disease was killing her and she didn't want her son with her when she died. She pushed his tiny body away. She knew that if she looked at his face any longer, she would never be able to let him go. The farewell had to end before Ajumma's patience ran out. She had already given her too much to convince her to take care of her son for a while.
Soon their ways parted forever. Jimin was too tired to fight anymore. He surrendered to the hands that took him away. He took a last look at his mother. And then she was gone.
He never forgave her. Until he understood her. He grew up and blossomed and changed from a little child into a beautiful Omega full of compassion and kindness. But he was an orphan. He had no mother, no siblings, no soul mate. He had to live as a lonely Omega. Six years after the day his mother gave him to an Ajumma and abandoned him, he and the Ajumma parted ways.
Even though he had done everything the ajumma had told him to do. The old woman took him to the biggest house he had ever seen and made him do everything. Everything was new to Jimin. The land he set foot on was not his land. He had no place and no home. They had always been refugees. One day, when he was crying because his mother had left him, Ajumma told him the reason for her abandonment.
“You are responsible for everything, child…” She told him in a stern voice. “Your mother and father died because of you. Because of your flowers. You will kill me too. But I must repay the debt of life I owe your mother.”
“B-because of me?”
“Stupid boy. Because of the flowers. Did you ever wonder why we hid them?”
“Don't they exist because of my soul mate?” That's how he learned that everything he had been told was a story. The flowers didn't come out because his soul mate kissed him one day and left him. And if he waited for him, his soul mate wouldn't come.
But his mother had insisted that he would find him. Was that also a lie?
His life had been full of lies.
“If you had a soul mate, he'd be right next to you, child…”
*****
( Present day)
Jimin glanced at his soulmate who was watching him closely next to him. The Alpha's reaction to what had come out of his mouth was not quite what he had expected. He didn't look panicked or scared as if some big secret had been revealed. He was calm as a breeze. Calm like someone who knew that he was right.
Jimin also found himself hating his self-confident attitude. How could he? How could he think that he was right? Why didn't he feel like a trapped, scared animal like him? Why did his sharp arrows, which were made out of hurting words, fall flat in the alpha without even getting a return shot? Jimin wanted to hurt him the same way he hurt him. He couldn't even do that.
He continued to play games. To make him doubt himself, to trap him in this complicated maze, to fill him up with as much guilt as he could. With the anger in his eyes, the sweat on his palms, and his heart racing, the Alpha in front of him looked at him as if he were watching a boring show.
His look was like ‘Is this the best you can do?’ It was like a fox's look, smart and cunning and able to predict ten steps ahead of the other.
He should have stood up. “When you've calmed down, let's talk…” The Alpha said, clenching his jaw and standing up without taking his eyes off him. His gaze followed him calmly. “I'll tell you if you listen.”
“I won't let you fool me again, Yoongi.” He said. He was hurt so much, so much that he couldn't cry anymore. His Alpha was the cause of all his pain. He was the one who didn't feel his presence, who lied to him, who used and hurt him, who made even their bond incomplete. He was the one who mated with another Omega. He was the one who fell in love with another Omega and lied right in front of his soul mate.
Jimin hadn't done a quarter of what he had done to him. He didn't confide in other Alphas when he could have. He didn't let himself be marked, he ran away from them, he searched endlessly for his soul mate who was incapable of even waiting for him. Alone. With no one. And he was guilty again. Even when he came crawling back to him. He was wrong because he was afraid to trust him, because he couldn't tell him the whole truth.
If a part of her said he didn't know, he didn't know anything, today he didn't want to listen. Today he hid behind the side that said he should have known, he had to know. He was tired of justifying himself in the court of his own mind. Maybe the Alpha was the cause of it all. Instead of waiting for him, he had ruined their bond by betraying him. Maybe he'd given up on the soul mate he'd been waiting for a long time. He couldn't even admit it to himself, so he sought comfort in other hearts.
Damn it. He couldn't stand it.
Why was it always his fault? He wanted to tell the Alpha. While he had been with the Omegas, what had he been doing but looking for his soul mate? While hiding his flowers from those who wanted to kill him, Yoongi had mated with another Omega. Then he shamelessly shouted his honesty in front of him.
“You know I'm not fooling you.” His confident voice echoed in the room.
Jimin was about to get angry. He went to the other corner of the room and put his hand to his head. “I know nothing!” He turned to him angrily. “I don't even have words for you. I won't lower myself any further.”
“Jimin…” He said. “Sit down.”
“Don't you dare tell me what to do!”
“All right, you want to talk standing up? Fine.” So he got up from the floor and faced the Omega and together they stood in front of the door to Yoongi's room.
“I don't want to listen to you.” Jimin spat. “I don't even want to see your face.”
“I'm afraid you will. This is my home.”
Jimin said with a choked voice. “I hate you. I don't care about your...”
“You'll regret being so impulsive, I tell you.”
“How can you be so calm? Two days ago you were so desperate you could have killed me.” He laughed. “Is this how you look when you're wrong? Or did you freak out that day to hurt me more?”
“On the contrary. I'm right. We both know that what you heard from that Omega was a lie. All you're doing now is trying to cover up your own mistake. You look ridiculous from here.”
Bright sparks suddenly flashed in Jimin's eyes. His wolf was exposed. Yoongi was ready for a fight and the two of them wanted to go at him as one? They should have. He wasn't going to back down in a case where he was right. “You...” He started, but then choked on his words. His coolness infuriated him.
“I…” The Alpha said, “I didn't lie to you, you know.” He finished calmly.
“I don't know! I don't know, Yoongi. I don't know anything about you! All I know is that what you did was vile!”
Alpha huffed. "”Vile? Yeah? You want me to tell you what is vile? But I'm afraid you'd be wrong.”
“Fuck off, Yoongi!”
Alpha just raised an eyebrow as he glared at him. “Wouldn't you understand if I was mated with someone else?”
Jimin paused for a moment. Maybe he could understand that. Then why didn't he understand that they were soulmates? He wasn't going to give up, he wasn't going to stop until he told him everything. “I won't believe you…” He said, his eyes filling. “I made that mistake once.”
“Suit yourself.” The Alpha shrugged. “At least I know what I did and what I'll never do.”
Jimin looked at him disappointed. He was used to his heart hurting, but he couldn't get used to the fact that his soulmate didn't recognize him. He was the one who made him cry the most and he was the only one he could find comfort in. It was so hard and impossible. He was so conflicted about what he had heard and couldn't find a way out. “I can't take it anymore…” He said. “I can't stand this game.”
“It's not a game anymore.” He said, referring to their arranged marriage.
“Is it? When? After you spent my heat with me and had your way with me? Did my body appeal to you?” The Alpha's face contorted as he said this, but he continued. “Was I a good toy for you to play with? You decide everything, don't you? All those rules... Decisions about our relationship, when to love me and when to hate me...”
Alpha interrupted. “Stop it!”
“What is it? Or... Are you uncomfortable? Isn't that the truth?”
“Admit it. Things were starting to change for both of us. Until I saw your flowers.”
“And now? What's next?”
He pressed his lips together, his eyes betraying his disappointment. “Jimin… I don't know what comes next. I'm even more confused and upset than you are. I haven't even forgiven you yet and here you are accusing me of something I didn't do. Yes, I'm wrong in some ways. I know that, more than you do. Maybe I should have told you all the details of my relationship with Hyuna. All the damn details that I didn't even tell myself. But I never lied to you, there were just details I didn't tell you. I didn't think it would affect our relationship. But how can you equate it with your own fault? Shouldn't you be fair? I confessed to you that I gave up my soul mate, and you hid the fact that you have soul mate flowers and a soul mate! Even though I gave you the opportunity to tell the truth dozens of times. You're the one who deceived me. Don't try to change roles, I will never let you fool me again...”
“You don't want to understand that I have my reasons…” Jimin said as a tear ran down his chin. “You're so obsessed with being right that you don't care if the other person has good reasons or not.”
“Fuck being right!” He snapped. “And I'm supposed to apologize to you for lying to me? Is that what you want? You want me to keep acting like this stupid, blind, clueless Alpha? It's over, Jimin. You can be sure of that.”
Jimin held his breath as he felt his heart pounding in his chest. He wished he could have died right then and there. But he survived, even after everyone else had left. His promise to his mother echoed in his head. He had promised her that he would find his soulmate. How could he let go when he was so close? “You're a very, very bad Alpha…” He said, his lips trembling, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. “You're no different than the rest…”
He thought he could impress Yoongi but he was wrong again, the alpha sent him a cold look. “Is that so? But listen to this: You are even worse omega than the others!”
Jimin angrily pushed him in the chest, but this time the alpha was prepared, he didn't move a bit. This time he tried to take out his anger elsewhere and without thinking he raised his hand, about to slap him hard across the face when Yoongi grabbed the omega's slender, delicate wrists and looked hard into his eyes. “Aren't you tired of this? Listen to me and then do whatever you want. Are you going to leave me? Do it. Slap me? Slap me! Tell everyone I fooled you? Go ahead. Maybe you and Yuna will become one. I don't give a shit. Everyone knows the truth and it's clear who's right.” He shook him, not releasing his grip on his wrists. “So open your damn ears and hear my side of the story!”
He bowed his head in silence at his dominance and loud voice and continued to cry softly. The wolf had told him to do so in a demonic voice, commanded him to take on the role of victim. If it would make the alpha feel worse, he would do it without thinking. He was dying to make him feel bad. He pretended to be startled. His body trembled like a bird under the alpha's strong grip, and suddenly he was tiny. He was miserable despite everything. He knew. If he knew Yoongi at all, he knew he would not emerge victorious from this battle. He never wanted to be victorious. Jimin just wanted to be understood and known. “Okay…” He said in a low, weak voice. Sometimes he was really afraid of him and his anger. “I'll listen.”
Yoongi let go of his wrist slowly when he was sure that he had calmed down. He clenched his fists on both sides and saw that the Omega's white skin was slightly flushed. He had to calm down. What was he doing? It was as if his eyes were spinning when it came to Jimin. He gritted his teeth against his lip as his wolf began to accuse him of being rough with him. “I'm sorry…” Yoongi said hesitantly as Jimin rubbed his wrist and headed for the couch. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”
“It's not the first time.”
Yoongi's brow furrowed as he sat down on the green couch a little behind the Omega. The Omega was still rubbing his wrist, his eyes fixed on the floor. It resembled the silent ruins after a storm. Yoongi's heart skipped a beat, his wolf's rage burning in his chest. “I shouldn't have touched you like that.” He said awkwardly.
“What?”
Yoongi looked regretfully at the Omega, who had a meaningless expression on his face. “I hurt your wrist...”
“Oh, that... It doesn't matter...” The hiccuping Omega shrugged. “It didn't hurt as much as the things you said. Besides, I'm used to people being rough with me…” He paused. “I didn't say that to make you feel sorry for me, don't get me wrong.”
He did it again. He punished him with the words he had said in the fight two days ago.
“Jimin…” Yoongi stiffened at the thought that they had hurt him. Of course they had. For God's sake. What was he thinking? He had never been a rich, untouchable, privileged Omega from a noble family. He couldn't compare him to Hyuna or Yuna. The night they'd met, he'd seen the many bruises on his body from the beatings. He was so used to it that Jimin didn't even see or feel the pain in his wrist anymore.
“I'll never touch you like that again, I promise.”
“You know what's bad, Yoongi? You tell me you're not a liar, but all you do is lie all the time and you don't even realize it.”
Feeling like a slap in the face, Jimin continued. “The night you said you wanted to marry me, you promised you would never hurt me.” He didn't find the Alpha's sudden regret strange as he covered his wrist with his tunic. With all his sharp edges, he was the one who wounded and healed him at the same time. “Don't feel guilty, it doesn't matter, I came at you, I tried to hit you... You defended yourself. I... I wasn't talking about that.”
It mattered… “You're right…” Jimin looked at him expectantly. Yoongi added. “I broke my promises, I hurt you and you lied to me. It seems like we both screwed up...”
“Maybe that's what we do best. Screw each other up…” Jimin put his small hands between his knees, as he always did when he was unsure or scared. He looked around for a while. Neither of them could think of anything to say and they were stuck in this awkward moment. Omega felt like a hurricane had swept over him, he was tired, he wanted to sleep for days. But first he had to hear from him what had happened. “Are you going to tell me?”
“Yes…” He said. “I'm only going to tell it once, so listen carefully.”
And for the first time, he stopped replaying the painful story in his head and told it to someone else.
*****
It was five years ago. A few weeks after the spring equinox, it was hot and humid. It was an eerie time in the south of Arashi. The surrounding packs were struggling with a series of epidemics, attacks, and invasions by savages. Yoongi had just turned 20 and was about to marry Hyuna after years of dating. Hyuna was one of the most beautiful Omegas in the village with wiry hair and big blue eyes. Yoongi didn't know where he was going. He just wanted to go. His only wish was to get away from his family and have a place where he could stand on his own two feet. He wanted to start his own family and be a good father. Maybe he was too young, but he couldn't stand living with his family anymore. He wanted to grow wings and fly, to be free. He was tired of his father's oppression, of not being able to breathe, of being in fear and misery every day.
It wasn't hard for him and Hyuna to get along because they were from the same pack. Their families were also close. So when their families met a few years ago and said that they had seen two young people who were interested in each other and that this should lead to marriage, the young people were in agreement. At first it was a distant prospect for both of them. They were both too young and immature for this thing called marriage. But they knew. This is how all families are built, no one falls in love and gets married. And Yoongi had never been the kind of person who thought he would find love.
At first, they were good friends. They would get together once a week for long walks in the woods or to have a chat at the small ramen shop in the market. Sometimes Yoongi would take his brother to the big swing at the bottom of the village. Hyuna would come with her cousins and spend time there. Sometimes she would bring him gimbap that she made herself. These friendly meetings and conversations turned into intimate conversations of ‘I want to get to know you better’ and then into ‘I'm glad that our families have made this decision.’ They were both happy to be on their way to marriage. They were a couple who were compatible, who never fought or disagreed, and who were the toast of the town. Yoongi enjoyed spending time with her. It felt good to get through a hard week and just be with her, to tell her your troubles and leave a trace on the Omega's shoulder.
Hyuna knew him best, and he knew Hyuna very well, maybe more than anyone else ever would.
But he never stopped to think. Was it love or habit? For Hyuna, things began to change over time. So much so that she became the one who worked the most for their relationship. At some point she even started to compromise herself. Yoongi didn't even notice. He would go to her and urge her to marry him and get rid of his father as soon as possible as his conflicts with his father grew. Both nineteen, they thought life was a strange game of hide-and-seek.
A month and a half before their wedding, it happened. Time stood still, the love that had begun to blossom between them suddenly died one afternoon. When the Maissha, the wild packs, were threatened by famine, they began to attack the surrounding packs. The messengers sent to the surrounding packs were killed. So no one noticed when the danger approached the Kim Pack.
On that day, Yoongi had left the house and was taking the embroidered pillowcases for the wedding from the store to Hyuna's house. Maybe they would have a little chat on the doorstep. When he opened the garden gate and walked in, the smell hit him in the head. Hyuna's scent usually reminded him of a warm summer breeze. But this time, it was as heavy as a rumbling avalanche. It enveloped him immediately. Before he could knock, Hyuna came out in her dark nightgown and disheveled hair. “I brought these…” Yoongi murmured without looking up as he lowered his eyes in shame. He had never seen her so explicitly. “Your mother wanted them... For the wedding.”
“Yoongi, I was waiting for you...” The Alpha jerked back in surprise when Hyuna suddenly grabbed Yoongi's hands and tried to pull him in. “Hyuna! What are you doing?”
“There's no one home... Yoongi!” She sobbed helplessly, putting her hand to her crotch. “We're so close to getting married.”
“What nonsense are you talking?”
“Don't you understand?” The young Omega suddenly burst into tears. “I'm in heat, it's unbearable, I need your help…” She tried to hold him again, and this time she found herself barefoot in the garden, surrounded by dry hills. She was barefoot and her clothes did little to cover her burning skin. Yoongi frowned and handed the Omega his own jacket and threw it over his bare shoulders. “You can't go out like that!” He blushed with embarrassment. They never talked about such things. They both spent their heat in silence away from each other, ignoring the fact. “You have to go inside, Hyuna, someone will see...”
“You treat me with such kindness... Such understanding, but you give me nothing.” She turned and cupped his warm cheeks. “I want you to give yourself to me, to trust me with your skin. Touch me. Please... This is the day Yoongi...”
“I thought that's not what we agreed on.” Yoongi turned bright red. His Alpha was also surprised. Hyuna had never even hinted at it before. It was inappropriate. Especially to spend their heat together without getting married... They would have been the talk of the pack. Of course, their families wouldn't approve either. They had to follow tradition. He swallowed hard. He was an Alpha and of course he had his needs. Even if it didn't happen very often, he too would get into a heat and his eyes would spin furiously. But he couldn't remember ever finding himself at an Omega's door. He could control himself, but Hyuna had somehow lost it this time. Enough to invite him to the house where she lived with her parents.
He looked into the dark purple eyes of the Omega and stepped back sharply. “Hyuna, you're not yourself. Go back to the house.”
“Yoongi, don't do this… Please…”
“How can you ask me to do this?” He said astonished, but it was useless.
“We're going to get married.”
“But we're not married yet!” He thought that his wolf would force him to do it, that it wanted to make love to her, but on the contrary, it was restless. He wanted to get out of here. To run away.
“Mate me... Please... I can't take it anymore. Or mark me... Do anything… Show me I'm yours.” Her scent became unbearable as she sobbed helplessly, and the Alpha tried to fight the nausea rising inside him.
Shouldn't he feel the opposite? Damn it, his wolf must have gone mad.
Hyuna managed to free herself when Yoongi gently grabbed her and led her into the house. “What kinf of an Alpha you are!” Then she quickly captured his lips and kissed him. Yoongi was surprised and looked for something to hold on to. He couldn't believe what had happened. Everything he had brought for the wedding ended up on the floor. He pushed his Omega hard when his stomach hit his mouth. “Hyuna! Stop it! You don't even know what you're doing! I will find your parents and bring them home, they will take care of you. You will not leave the house until they come.” His Alpha awoke and the Omega obeyed. “Do you understand me?”
“If you leave me like this, I will never forgive you! I'll die!”
“Don't be ridiculous. No Omega dies of heat. When you come to your senses, you won't believe you said that and you'll be ashamed of yourself.”
He wanted to run away. But he didn't. Hyuna, now out of control, not acting like the Hyuna he knew, picked her up and carried her to her room. He laid her trembling body on the bed and scented the room for her. But she couldn't ask for more. He couldn't give. He didn't want to. They had promised each other months ago. They would not mark each other or spend their heat together without getting married. They wanted everything to take its course. But now the Omega hadn't stopped begging for a moment to be marked, sealed and married.
Things were slowly getting serious and the marriage game was turning into something real. Yoongi felt too immature to give in to sensual pleasures... He didn't think he could give her what she wanted... He groaned as he felt sick to his stomach and couldn't breathe... After taking one last look at Hyuna lying on the bed, he threw himself out and had the first stroke of his life. After what he had been through with his father, the omega he had inhaled made him sick. He struggled to regulate his breathing for a few minutes, threw up, and then recovered.
If only he could leave it all behind and listen to the voice inside, a voice that was tired of being suppressed. If only he could be brave for once.
Run… Run before it's too late…
But he didn't… He never did…
Instead, he set out to find Hyuna's mother. It took him hours to find the parents of his future wife. They were not in Kim district. They had gone to the farmer's market to do some shopping. When he found them and told them that their daughter was in heat, they both thanked him gratefully. Any other Alpha would have no limits, they said. They were happy to welcome him into their family as a son-in-law. Until their daughter died. When they returned to the pack, they found the entire pack scattered, black smoke billowing from the roofs of some houses, and everything destroyed. Everyone was crying, Omegas and children running around in terror. Bloodied and wounded bodies were strewn everywhere. It was a real life market. Death had descended on the pack like a dark cloud with all its weight and reality. Yoongi's knees gave out. All he could do was throw everything he had and run to the two-story hut at the end of the path where he had left Hyuna.
He slowed down a bit in front of the hut and stared breathlessly at the scene before him. It was all or nothing. Instead of regretting it for the rest of his life, Yoongi jumped into the smoldering, flaming hut. Fear had become something he had never known.
But he had not succeeded. Ignoring the fire that was burning his skin, he found the smoky room where the smell had intensified as his clothes gave way to the flames. He grabbed the warm body lying there and pulled it out. By the time he came out, the family members had already returned home. Yoongi had collapsed on the floor with Hyuna in his arms, holding her close.
Omega's heart stopped beating a moment later and her graceful hand slipped from his lap. She was dead, gone, erased from his memory as if she had never existed. Without even saying goodbye. The Alpha's grief washed over him like a wave crashing on the shore. Yoongi stopped breathing, turned his face to the sky and cried out.
The hands that had thanked and appreciated him then began to stone him. It was clear who had caused Hyuna's death. The savages had broken into the house, done unspeakable evil to her, and burned it down when they smelled the heat of the Omega. Yoongi had never been able to punish the criminals. He had never been able to do his only duty and avenge his Omega.
For days, weeks, maybe even months after they buried her, he hadn't said a word, he hadn't eaten or drunk anything, he had locked himself in his hunting cabin. No one had been able to talk him out of it, even his father had pitied him.
He had caused someone's death... It was unbearable…
A family had lost their only daughter because of him. If he had agreed to mark her and not leave her side, none of this would have happened. He didn't even have to sleep with her and her family would have understood.
But what had he done? He had left the needy Omega defenseless, the one who smelled like a needy call, and he had run away from the pack. He had run away because he was scared, because he was a fucking coward, and he had panicked and thrown up. He was the dumbest, most cowardly Alpha in the universe.
If they had marked each other... If he had done what Hyuna said and mated with her... He could have felt what was happening to her. He could have gone back and saved her.
If he hadn't listened to his wolf…
If he hadn't made excuses…
There was so much grief that Yoongi couldn't handle it. He had waited for hours at his omega's side and had carried her to the cremation ground against all objections, never letting her go, only to find her finally floating in the sky.
Yoongi hadn't spoken for five months. not a word. the weight of his guilt was killing him every day. a happy omega had died because of his negligence. it should have been him, the soul that disappeared into nothingness. He was of no use anyway.
Five months later, the first words out of his mouth were 'Because of me… When she asked me to mark her and mate with her, I got scared and ran away. I ran away instead of staying with her and waiting for her family to come…”
So Hyuna's family, who had been so close to him, also turned their backs on him, cutting off all ties with his family... Because it's much easier to blame someone else than to blame yourself. That's what Hyuna's family did. They had lost their only treasure. they didn't know how to deal with the pain. after a while, they too decided to leave behind the package full of their daughter's memories.
Yoongi also left the hill where her family had cremated her and scattered her ashes in the distant sea. He had no one left to tell his troubles to. No one he could integrate with. He didn't want to... He was just a murderer full of mistakes… A coward with blood on his hands…
So he didn't deserve to love or be loved…
*****
It had been an hour since Yoongi had started talking to him. He told him everything, without any filter, no matter how painful it was in his mind. Sometimes he paused, sometimes it took him minutes to find the strength to continue. His throat was knotted, pain wrapped around him.
This was the story of how he had made the biggest mistake of his life. The decision he had made in that brief moment had cost him his entire life. Hyuna was dead, but he continued to live with a dead body.
Then Jimin came…
Park Jimin was the second major turning point in his life. Hyuna had taught him what regret and remorse looked like. Jimin taught him so much more… Acceptance, forgiveness, trying again, getting up and making mistakes… He had taught them all in a short time. Should he be grateful to him? After a long pause he decided that he didn't want to lose him either. Jimin had taught him a good lesson too, it had hit him like a slap in the face.
Maybe he had his reasons... Just like he had his reasons. Just like his secret wish that he was innocent, that Hyuna's death had nothing to do with him.
Looking at him was like losing control. Every time he looked into those dark, fierce eyes that were like a rough sea crashing against the shores of his mind, he would lose himself. Maybe that was what he was afraid of. He was running away from him. Yoongi didn't know the answers. He didn't think he wanted to.
By the time he finished telling his story, the grief that filled the room had become unbreathable. He looked at the Omega standing before him with all his flaws, his body as frail as a straw before a flame. He clasped his slightly trembling hands together to hide them, and his eyes were red. It was the first time he told this story out loud to someone. Because Jimin deserved to know. There were things he deserved to know as well, but Jimin was too late.
Still, he was glad that he had told it, glad to be free of this burden. Maybe this was the way to get rid of the darkness that covered him, the great darkness plastered with clay. To share... Still, he was afraid of the reaction he would get. Suddenly, he had so much to lose.
He was angry with Jimin. Very angry. But he didn't want to give him up. He also didn't want to argue with him. Every time he said something hurtful, something was torn away from him. He didn't want to continue on this path without him, even though it was a mystery how they would continue on this path. After showing so much of himself... He wanted so much to trust him.
Could they try again? Could he trust him?
Minutes later, he looked up and saw Jimin looking at him with a devastated, confused expression. Yoongi couldn't really read his expression. Was he sad, angry or did he hate him? Not as much as he did. He couldn't. Yoongi hadn't stopped hating himself for a moment since that day. Most of the people around him had told him that it wasn't his fault, that he did what he had to do, that the timing wasn't his fault, that he didn't want those savages to come... So many things…
He wished that Jimin would tell him the same… Maybe he would believe him then.
How pathetic it was...
The seconds seemed like years, long, stretching and stretching and stretching... Yoongi stopped waiting. He was convinced that there would be no reaction. His breath caught in his chest. He unbuttoned a button on his brown shirt, stood up and went to the windowsill, opened the window and let the fresh air in.
Damn, he thought. I'm naked in front of him, defenseless, helpless… He would blame him… There was no way he could come out of this war unscathed. They would have to start all over again. Or maybe Jimin would leave him, the Alpha he'd confessed his love to yesterday, because of this evil.
While all of this was happening on Yoongi's side, there was someone else who had noticed how panicked and devastated he was because of the slight change in his scent. His soulmate… Now this was a change that only the one who felt the connection would notice. For the first time, Jimin was grateful. The seeds of doubt in his mind dried up before they could sprout. Yoongi wasn't lying, he could see that in every detail.
But the balance shifted again… What he said resonated with Jimin, but it also proved him wrong. It made him feel terrible. How could he let himself be manipulated by that Omega and blame his soulmate? He had done the same thing to Yoongi while inwardly blaming him for not fighting fair. What a tragedy. He had really messed up.
With acceptance replacing his anger, Jimin tried to snuggle up to his Alpha. He stood up and approached Yoongi who was standing motionless at the window. His uncomfortable, scared and sad smell hit his nose in waves.
He had become a shy prey. And Jimin was the hunter. Suddenly the whole balance of the game had shifted.
“Yoongi…” He said hoarsely and looked down at his folded hands. He laid down all his weapons and raised the white flag.
“You don't have to say anything. We've both been hurt enough today…” Yoongi interrupted.
“I wasn’t going to say anything bad…”
“I just want you to know that…” the Alpha said without looking him, his voice was full of sorrow, it was hard to talk when everything feels like an open wound “I’ve tried… I swear… I never wanted to everything happen like this… If I’ve know what’s gonna happen…”
Jimin answers with calming voice “Of course you didn’t want, I’m sure of that… You can be many things but you’re not a bloody murderer who killed the omega he loved. I can’t blame you because you have done what you have to do…” Saying this left a bitter taste in his mouth. If he mate with that omega that day, they wouldn’t be here today. And when Jimin found his soulmate he would left alone the fact that he is married. He was his soulmate… He would be selfish even though he shouldn’t be.
The eyes of an alpha which turned to him were suprised… His beautiful, red lips are slightly open. “Do you believe me?”
Jimin's eyes welled up. Had he made him feel that bad? It meant that he could sometimes be so awful that he would willingly break his soulmate's heart. After all, he was the only one who knew about the soulmate bond. This relationship was full of mistakes on both their parts. He swallowed painfully and lowered his eyes in shame. “I admit I was manipulated by Yuna. You were right all along. I saw it in your eyes, yet I kept hurting you. I wanted to make you feel the way you made me feel. I wanted to hurt you… I had some doubt, but now I know. I know you didn't mate with Hyuna. I know you held back from giving her what she wanted. You didn't lie to me... Unlike me…”
“And you don't hate me?”
“For not mating with her?”
“In a way. I caused her death by doing so.”
“No, you honored your agreement…” He said quietly. “And that decision brought you to me.”
An awkward silence fell… This was his second confession.
Whatever had prevented Yoongi from fulfilling Hyuna's wish five years ago had saved Jimin's life while causing Hyuna's death.
Was this how fate worked? Did some people have to win while others had to lose? Was he sad? He couldn't say he was devastated. He had been losing things his whole life too, just to win Yoongi. Hyuna had unknowingly wanted someone else's soul mate, but the wolves wouldn't let her have it. Whatever happened next was completely out of their hands. It wasn't their fault that the savages had come, nor was it their fault that the savages were so wicked.
His eyes filled with tears again. The wolf knew… Somewhere inside his soulmate, there was a part of him that knew him. He just needed to unlock it.
Yoongi held his breath as he looked at him. He was ruggedly handsome. The same gaze that had hurt him when he was angry now enveloped him in a warm embrace. How could he do that? How could he make him feel awful and wonderful at the same time?
“You… What?”
“I don't want to sound cruel, but Yoongi, we can't go against fate. Don't you see?”
He didn't see… Jimin knew he didn't see. His gaze was meaningless and searching. Jimin wished desperately that he could tell him.
But he knew he couldn't. Jimin's wolf was five shirts above him. He wouldn't make it do anything it wouldn't allow. He couldn't utter the words ‘You're my soulmate.’ Even if he had the chance, he wouldn't say it.
All he wanted was for his soulmate to come to him willingly. Not because they were soulmates. He wanted it to be with true, pure love. No matter how long it took, it was a possibility worth waiting for. Otherwise, it would be nothing but an obligation.
‘You are my soulmate. My flowers are yours. Love me now, okay? Maybe then our bond will be complete.’
He still couldn't gauge Yoongi's reaction. He was sure he wouldn't believe him. Maybe this time he would fire him. He couldn't allow himself to be made miserable by his two smiling faces and soft reactions. He'd done enough already.
His wolf agreed with him.
‘Let him come to you at his own pace; otherwise, what's the point? No one can force flowers to bloom, not even you. Give it time. If it doesn't come, then it was never yours to begin with.’
Jimin shivered as a divine chill licked his skin. Each time his wolf spoke to him with such wisdom, he was drawn to it. Something far more powerful than he was resting inside him. It knew best. After all, his soulmate was the other half of his wolf. It was ancient. So he decided to follow it.
“Jimin?” Yoongi said as he jolted awake from his sleep.
“Yes?” He asked, panting even though he was standing perfectly still.
“Are you okay? You've turned white. Your eyes…” He said fearfully. “Your eyes suddenly changed color. Are you going into heat?”
“No!” He said out loud. Whatever had happened to him must have had something to do with the voices earlier. “I'm fine…” He said, wrapping his arms tightly around himself. “I'm not getting into a heat or anything.”
“You looked like you wanted to tell me something.”
“Is that so?” His heart ached as he played naive. Damn it, he thought to himself. Can't you understand everything at once and blossom? Please give me your whole heart.
“Yes, you stuttered. You whispered gibberish. It was as if your body was here, but your soul was somewhere else. I called out, but you didn't hear me.”
He patted his head. “I'm so tired. It must be my wolf. I haven't slept properly in days; it's just one thing after another.”
“Why are you crying?”
He touched his face and wiped away the tears, not knowing when he had cried. “I'm sorry…” He stared at his face. “I'm sorry, Yoongi. For everything… What I did today was a big mistake. I went too far.”
“It was also my fault for not telling you about it beforehand, which gave Yuna something to talk about.”
“And I apologize for everything else.”
Yoongi sighed and closed the window, letting the cold wind blow through. “You just referred to Yuna as my omega that I love…” He said, looking into his eyes. “The truth is that our relationship was different. It was a kind of addiction. There were promises and vows made between us.”
Seeing how hard he was struggling to keep going, Omega decided not to push him any further. He had opened up too much tonight. “Yoongi…”
“Let me finish, because I may never be brave enough to talk about it again.” He continued, shifting his hesitantly dancing eyes back to the omega. “But it wasn't passionate love. Ask anyone, and they'll tell you that. As time has passed, our understanding of this relationship has changed. That's true. But, like I said, I was the one who felt less. I've always been that way. Maybe I have a problem with feeling.”
“Or maybe this forced relationship has made you feel trapped.” Jimin concluded.
“Maybe it was that soulmate thing I mentioned. I could never fully give myself to Hyuna because I always left the door open for them. I could never tell her that. It took me years to be honest, even with myself. I'm telling you for the first time.”
To the right person, he thought. And to the wrong person…
“If I had been honest with her, maybe she'd be alive now.”
“Yoongi!” Jimin snapped because he knew the regrets hurt the most. You can't help but try to change the past relentlessly. He ran straight into destruction. “Don't do this. You don't know. You can't change the past, and thinking about it won't accomplish anything.”
“I know, but I can't stop thinking about it…” His shoulders slumped; all his defenses were down. He raised his hands and looked up. “Sometimes I look at myself, and I only see a murderer. My hand is bloody, and I can't wash it off no matter what I do. My sleep is still interrupted by nightmares, even after all these years.”
“I've blamed myself my whole life for being like this, for being born with flowers. Every day, every second, I faced the fact that I caused my parents' deaths. I ran away from everything, but in the end, I came back to myself. I had no one. It was either move on or die. Isn't that what life is all about? Aren't we our own worst enemy?”
When Yoongi nodded softly, Jimin gently touched his hand to the alpha's upper arm. “Don't put yourself through this torture.”
“I was sure you'd blame me, you know?”
“You don't know me at all…” He said resentfully.
“You're right. It's impossible to know you…” He shrugged with an expression of defeat. “One day you're next to me; the next day, you're right in front of me. I never know where you'll be.”
“I thought the same thing about you.”
“We're so compatible.” He agreed. Then he cleared his throat and straightened his posture. “We're both tired today. Let's drop it.”
Jimin saw him reach for his jacket and asked, “Where are you going?”
“I'm going to get some air. I'll be back in a few hours. Don't expect me for dinner. There's ramen in the fridge. You can make it and eat it.”
He opened the door and was about to leave when Jimin jumped out. “Uh…” Yoongi looked over his shoulder, swallowed, and fiddled with his fingernails. “You're going to come back, right?”
“Uh, yeah. Where else would I go?” He closed the door behind him.
*****
(Yoongi)
Where could I go when every road led only to myself? I walked... I needed to escape the house, escape the air Jimin surrounded me with, and escape his gaze, which felt like it was burning my skin. But that didn't feel good, either. I always had to face my internal struggles alone.
My soul was desperate to return to him when I was without him.
Why was that? What was the reason? Was I becoming dependent on him, or was I trying to take what I could from him because no one had ever embraced me like he had? Was I a good person, or was I just a selfish fox who thought only of myself?
A memory flashed through my mind. It wasn't part of what I told Jimin. I had buried all the things Hyuna had said that I had ignored in the past, in order to incriminate myself. I thought what she said never hurt me until I met Jimin.
He always made me feel valued. Except when he was angry, he always treated me warmly. He never attacked me for being a fox. He never used that side of me to hurt or intimidate me.
But Hyuna... God. From the moment I met her, I felt like I should be grateful to her for choosing me. Whenever we argued or I disagreed with her, she broke my heart more times than I can remember.
‘I have to put up with so much for you, and you don't even feel grateful.’
‘There isn't a single omega who can love a fox hybrid, let alone a beta, but I loved you unconditionally. Why can't you love me the same way?’
‘Sometimes I think your father is right; you can be so sharp-tongued and hurtful. I can't find the reason why I'm going down this path with you.’
These things had been said, and I had covered them up all this time. I accepted the words as true and moved on without questioning them. It was the right thing to do.
We had our good times. She was kind to me. I should have refrained from demonizing her when I thought that no one else could love me. Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. I didn't know; it was exploding inside my brain. How long was I going to be lost in my own thoughts?
When I felt like I was out of breath, I paused and put my hand on my burning, aching chest. Just then, in my miserable state, I was walking down the old river road that ran below the market when I saw my sister standing a few meters away, watching me. I shook my head slightly, knowing she would follow me, even if I tried to run away.
“I saw you come out of the market. I called after you, but you didn't hear me.” Yuri said hurriedly, putting his hand on my cold cheek. “What's wrong with you? You look terrible.”
“Nothing…” I stammered, walking away from her. A new door had opened in my mind, and I was extremely upset. Why did I always find myself around people who made me feel bad? “It's nothing.”
She grabbed my wrist. Her eyes burned into me, and my shoulders slumped, knowing she wouldn't let me go. “You can't go anywhere.”
“Noona, I need time. I just want to be alone.”
Her determined gaze fixed on my face. “From the moment you brought Jimin into this pack, all you've done is run away from me. I think I've given you enough time. I'm going to fulfill my responsibility as an older sister and force you to talk, because I can see that something is eating you up inside. Both of you.”
This time, I didn't have the strength to protest. My sister squeezed my arm tightly and said, “You only use this road when you are very depressed, and only then you go to the old huts.”
I didn't respond. I was well aware that when Yuri was determined, there was no way to convince her otherwise. I accepted my situation and walked with her for several minutes, silently, along the muddy path. We came to an area of old, unused shacks that had been destroyed and burned in disasters. Muddy from melting snow, the ground was littered with a few burnt trees standing lifelessly. This used to be a place for wolves who the pack did not accept but still allowed to live near it. Over the years, some had married into the pack, while others had migrated to distant packs. The area had become desolate. I was okay with that. It had been my getaway for years, a place of solace when I had no choice but to go to the hunting cabin, a scary place that no one else had ever gone to.
I hadn't been here for a long time—not since Jimin came into my life.
“"Sit down…” Yuri gave me a meaningful look as she shook off the twigs and sat down on the wooden steps in front of the hut. “Yoongi…”
Today, confronting my past affected me more than I expected. I'm not sure if it was a bad thing, but it felt strange opening up to Jimin and having him understand me. Maybe it was a good feeling. I didn't know. I secretly wondered if I was still seen as a good alpha by him after accusing him of so many things.
Had he made me dependent on him? No matter what I did, I would be under his influence, like a Ren.
I didn't want to face Yuri. God, I hadn't even faced myself yet! Jimin's words echoed in my mind. How many more times would he mislead me? How many more times would he surprise me? I had gone from being upset to hating him to suddenly warming to his presence again.
Was the look he gave me when he said, ‘You are my whole world’ a lie, too? Would he go that far just to continue living with me? Jimin was many things, but he was not without pride. He hid it from me for his reasons, and yes, it shattered me and broke my trust. But obviously, it was hard for him, too.
Still, it didn't stop me from feeling betrayed. My wolf, as if he had always experienced this, quietly put himself on hold. It was peaceful and calm. It was unbelievable. I wish I could feel my fox, too.
“Don't you trust me anymore?”
“What? What makes you say that?” I asked in surprise. She looked at the poplar trees across the street. Her face was shadowed, and her lip hung down. At that moment, I realized that running away from her had hurt her the most. We were like two peas in a pod. There were many days when Hyuna had hurt me and no one understood me, but there were also many days when I rested on her shoulder. Still, there were always things I couldn't tell her. How can you tell someone else something you can't even tell yourself?
Nevertheless, hurting her made me feel terrible. I struggled not to grimace at this feeling.
“Otherwise, why would you run away from me?”
“Noona, it's nothing like that. I swear.”
“What kind of thing? Obviously, you won't tell me until I bore you to death.”
“Because... It's hard…” I fiddled with my hands in my lap and fell silent. I could hear the rustling of leaves, the harsh wind blowing in my face from far away, and the screams of a wild animal coming from inside the forest. My sister was at the end of her patience. “It's about Jimin, isn't it?”
“No... I mean, yeah... I don't know. Sort of.”
“Yoongi…” She said, dropping my hand. “It all happened so fast. You obviously found yourself in a mess before you had time to think.” She was silent until I looked at her. Then she continued. “I waited so long for you to come to me on your own, but you never did. We could have worked it out together. If you had something on your mind, you should have told me. If you've given up on marrying him or... I don't know…” She sighed, and my gaze widened. “I care deeply about Jimin and Yoongi, and I would never want him to be upset, but I don't want you to continue if you're making life miserable for each other.”
“I never said it was about Jimin.”
“But you're so obvious. From the very beginning. For the first few weeks, I thought it was my imagination because, you know, I'm very suspicious. Then, I got close to Jimin, and I ignored things. I didn't want to interfere or meddle, but I couldn't stand it when I couldn't see him clearly. He's just as bad as you, walking around like a lost soul.”
I was so focused on myself that I never had a chance to examine him. We were both tormented, but I wasn't sure if the reason was what my sister thought.
“Did you marry someone you didn't love? Did you try to get rid of Yuna, only to make an even bigger mistake? I know, Yoongi. You're tired of our father arranging your marriage without your consent, and you wanted to prove yourself. You're right. But was the solution to marry an omega you found in the woods… An omega you didn't even know?”
I suddenly felt guilty. Jimin loved Yuri very much, and anything I said could change that. He didn't have anyone else in this world anyway. What would Jimin be left with if I told him what had happened? I clenched my fists, ready to tell her something, but I skipped the flowers.
“It's not what you think. I mean, not really.”
“Tell me this first, Yoongi…” She said sternly. “Do you really love Jimin? Because sometimes love hits you long after you've known that person. Maybe things were different at first, but they changed over time. Have they?”
I swallowed hard.
“Was that happy family picture a lie? Was defending your omega in front of your family a lie? Were your loving looks at each other a lie?” She asked. Then she added, “I once saw you take his hand and lead him outside. The moment you walked away from us, you drifted apart like an epidemic. Another time, I heard you arguing as you passed by the door. It was before you got married. I don't know, Yoongi. I thought you should know this before you're honest with me. I didn't come here to talk to you for nothing. Either give me the truth, or don't talk at all.”
My eyes darted back and forth. I was so trapped that I hated myself. My palms were sweaty, and I couldn't even be a good actor.
“You never looked him in the eye when you told him you loved him.”
“Noona…”
“Whenever he touched you in front of us, your face would blur. Your voice trembled, and you suddenly turned away from him. Why did you do that?”
“Noona, enough! You were right…” I admitted, bowing my head as she flinched back from my shout. “You won, Noona... You were right again. Please don't push me anymore.”
“Isn't that what you wanted to hear?” I snapped. She mumbled something that sounded like she didn't want me to accept it.
“I wanted you to be happy, to pursue your love…”
“I don't have a love! I never will. Do you understand?” I lowered my eyes. “Yes, it was all a game. A disgusting, despicable game. You can say whatever you want to me, but you can't hurt me anymore. It's already burning enough.” Finally, I revealed the secret I couldn't keep. “Jimin and I had a marriage of convenience…”
“I don't want you to hurt, Yoongi…”
“It's too late. No one can save me from myself.”
“Was the whole thing a lie? Was he...” She put her hand gently over her mouth. “Not even who he is... I mean, you found him in the woods…”
“No!” I shouted. “Don't blame him. I offered him everything. He was innocent. He was helpless. He was wounded. You don't understand.”
“Make me understand, Yoongi…” She said, sobbing helplessly. “Tell me that things between you two changed over time. Tell me you didn't do this.”
“I did. I don't regret a moment of it! But maybe Jimin regrets it. I don't know! Maybe marrying him was the best decision I ever made. No one else could have made me happier. This is who I am. Noona, don't think of me as someone I'm not. I'm not a perfect, well-liked, helpful, tenderhearted, loving alpha. Who really loves me? Even the people I thought loved me in the past tried to make me feel bad.”
“What do you mean, Hyuna?” She said. “She loved you, and you loved her.”
“You call that love?” I spat. “Love doesn't expect reciprocity or gratitude. Love is worth everything. We wouldn't go near it. Do you know what love is? It's when Jimin stands up to me and tells me that I'm everything, despite everything I've done to him. Do you know what love is?” I leaned a little closer to her. “It's wanting someone to die and, at the same time, doing everything you can to keep them alive. Hyuna and I aren't even close to that. Every time I annoyed her, she called me a fox. I never felt worthy or thought I should be! She was there, and she chose me. I was lucky because no one else would have chosen me. Do you know what it's like to be grateful to someone just for tolerating you? You always try to give something of yourself, smoothing down your sharp edges just because they want you to. You don't know; even if you were a beta, they never made you feel that way. I was flawed from the moment I was born.” I quickly turned my head away as a tear fell from my eye and dripped onto the floor.
It had been years since I had cried in front of her.
Before I knew it, I was in my sister's warm embrace. She pulled my body close to hers, embracing me with such intensity that it was almost overwhelming. I took a deep breath, trying to hold back tears that felt like they would never end if I let them. I had years of accumulated tears. My father always said that alphas shouldn't cry, and he would look at me with disgust when he saw me crying. I never forgot that look. “Yoongi, you are my precious brother… I want nothing more in this world than for you to be happy. Forgive me for all the times I couldn't be there for you when you were hurting. I was unaware of so many things: for not standing up to my father, for not standing up for you, for being late. I never knew that Hyuna made you feel this way. What kind of older sister am I?”
“I'm a big alpha now. How can you protect me? Don't feel bad. It's all my fault. It's because I'm so weak.” I took a step back, wiped my face with the back of my hand, and gritted my teeth as I looked around innocently for a place to run. “It's getting late. Go now.”
“Don't brush me off like that. My baby brother.”
I closed my eyes as she rested her hand on my cheek. “I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. And now Yoongi? What should I do? Tell me. I'll do whatever you want.”
“I don't want anything, Noona…” I said, trying to smile. “Just be there for me.”
“Do you want me to talk to Jimin?”
“Of course not. He's a sensitive omega and loves you very much. Don't say anything to upset him.”
“Did you tell him about Hyuna?”
“Yes, I did. I think it unlocked my memories. I must have repressed everything because everything that happened hurt me so much. I mourned Hyuna too much, Noona. You might call it selfish, and maybe I'm a bad person for saying that. But I'm tired of losing my life for others. I'm tired of running but getting nowhere, always hitting the same walls. I just want to do something for myself. I married Jimin. I barely knew him. But I don't regret it. I'm glad I married him. I can't imagine marrying Yuna. I'm glad Jimin showed up that night.”
Saying this out loud for the first time shocked me. It felt strange to say these things now, so soon after our fight when we had hurt each other with our words. These were my true feelings if I hadn't started believing the lies. They were the only real words that came out of my mouth.
Things I never thought would happen had already happened.
“So you love each other. Do I understand correctly? Even if there's no great love, affection, or soulmate bond, there's something promising between you...”
How could I tell her? That the omega I had accepted in pieces were born with flowers? Who would believe it when I couldn't even believe it myself? Revealing this secret would set us both on fire.
“Yeah, I'd say we're doing well. I have something I can fight for.”
With sparkling eyes, my sister clasped her hands over her face and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God for that. I had imagined all kinds of scenarios before talking to you. You don't know how relieved I am.”
“What went through your mind?”
“Everything! I even thought you hated Jimin and could barely stand each other. I'm so relieved now. Jimin is like an omega who endears himself to everyone. That's what they call the devil's feather. It worked on you, too.”
I was startled when she pinched my arm. “I'm really glad, Yoongi.”
She added before I could speak. “What was wrong with Jimin then? He's been acting up for a few days.”
“Just a little argument. I'm sure he mentioned it.”
“Okay, fine. I won't pry any further. I got my answer anyway.”
I grabbed her wrist as she stood up. “Don't talk to Jimin about this.”
“Okay, okay…”
“Promise?”
She shrugged and laughed. “I promise… How thoughtful of his omega… You know what? You're right, Yoongi. The others were different. Jimin is different. I won't compare him to anyone.”
“I want to put Hyuna behind me forever. It's still hard for me to accept things.”
“You still think you killed her, don't you? You always listen to the negative voice inside you.”
“I can't help but think things would've been different if my wolf hadn't forced me to leave that day.”
“But that's life... You never know.” After stroking my chin, she grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I got up, too. “Look ahead now. You have a life to live. You can live it well and happily, despite everything. You know that…”
“I know…”
“Look at Jimin. He has no one in his life except us. But that hasn't stopped him. Look how he found you of all people.” She hugged me tightly. “Maybe you don't have a soulmate, but Jimin is as loyal to you as one.”
Soulmate… The term didn't hurt as much as it used to. Not having a soulmate didn't hurt like it used to either. Maybe I had learned to let things go. I nodded quickly. “Let's get back to the neighborhood.” I said, tugging her by the hand.
“They were selling chocolate at the market. Buy some for your mate. He loves it.”
“Yes, he loves it…” I confirmed, smiling as I remembered catching him in the kitchen recently licking a chocolate wrapper.
What was happening to me? Shouldn't I be angry with him? He had lied to me. A big lie. These dilemmas were bothering me. Obeying my wolf made me this way, but if I didn't, I felt stuck.
When we reached the chocolate stall, I bought two huge packets of handmade chocolate balls. I told the seller that I would give them to my sister the next day because I didn't have any gold on me. My sister reached into her purse and took out twenty gold coins. “Fortunately, I don't have many places to spend money,”
“Thank you. I'll pay you.”
“Don't mention it. Go back home and don't worry about your omega. Take good care of him, okay?”
“I'll try…” I said, hugging my sister briefly. Then, I took my leave and walked into our small, two-story cottage. The living room was dimly lit with yellow light.
Silence greeted me as I slowly opened the door and walked in. I didn't expect him to jump on my neck with joy. Yesterday, he had sort of confessed his feelings to me. Today, I had offended him again, recklessly and thoughtlessly. I thought he was still lying and trying to tie me to him. I didn't even know what to think anymore.
I wanted to be calm. I wanted to look into his eyes and keep looking until I saw the truth there.
With a push of the door shut behind me, I kept the wind from entering and removed my jacket, hanging it on the hanger. The candles in their holders were nearing the end of their burn, and the kerosene lamps on the wall were dim. I turned my head to the right toward the green sofa and saw Jimin dozing with his hands between his knees.
The fireplace was out, yet it was warm inside. I reached out, pulled the fallen blanket up to the omega's chest, and stepped back. But the my scent stil made him got to me. “Yoongi? He said in a low voice behind me. I walked quickly to the kitchen to put the package in my hand away. “Are you here?”
I tried not to show that I was startled. “Yes, you fell asleep.”
“Yeah... well…” He paused. “There's some mandu in the oven. Eat them if you're hungry.”
“Mandu? Do you know how to make them?”
“I bought them ready-made at the market.” He said, blushing. There was no trace of his angry, outraged self from that morning. Jimin was full of contrasts.
I glanced at the oven and walked over to him, still holding the package. “I'll eat soon. This is for you.”
His eyes lit up when he smelled it before I handed it to him. “Chocolate balls?” He immediately opened the package and licked his lips but didn't eat one.
“Sit down.”
“I'm going to take a shower…” I lied. I just wanted him to insist.
He shook his head. “I thought we could have a little chat. I've brewed some herbal tea.”
“Okay… I'll take a shower later.” I collapsed on the couch across from him. Jimin wasn't eating his dessert. “Aren't you going to eat?”
“I will, thank you. I didn't expect that. I thought you were still angry with me.”
I shrugged. What could I say?
“What does that mean?”
“It means I don't know. They were selling them at the market, and you just came to mind for no particular reason.”
“Thanks again.”
“You're welcome, Jimin… Just eat.”
“I want things to be good between us again…” He said bluntly. Then, he got up, crossed the room, and picked up the teapot on the mantelpiece. He poured tea into small cups and handed me one. It was winter tea with orange peel. Sitting down again, he continued. “I've been asking God for this all day. After what you told me, I feel even worse. I'm at a dead end. I don't know what to do.” He gave me a brief look. “If everyone is going to find out about my flowers, I want to know in advance.”
“What do you mean?” I snapped in surprise. “Do you think I'm going to tell anyone?”
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. He said nothing. I was curious about them. The great Eloa! I was dying to see those flowers again… “I'll never do that.” I said reassuringly. “I hope you believe me.”
“You could if you wanted to, but you don't.”
“Because we're married. If you go down, I go down. Remember?”
He almost smiled as he nibbled his lip and nodded his head softly. He looked so helpless and vulnerable. But in his moments of anger, even I was afraid of his rage. “Thank you, Yoongi.”
“But I don't know what would happen if someone saw your flowers. I hope you don't think it's me.”
“I'll do my best not to let them see...”
I nodded, but I wasn't convinced. “Still, it's dangerous. Maybe there's another way.”
“I would know if there was…” He said with difficulty. “I wouldn't have struggled all this time.”
He was right; what a fool I was. Shaking my head, I postponed thinking about it and voiced the desire burning inside me. “Can I see them again?” I asked hesitantly. “If you don't mind.”
“Uh…” He said in surprise, looking at me with wide eyes. “Why?”
“It still doesn't feel real. I wanted to make sure.”
“It didn't feel real to me for a long time either. I can understand.” He moistened his bright, full lips… Lips I may never kiss… “But they are real.”
I nodded absently, and he patted the seat cushion. “Sit next to me…” He said.
I did as he asked and sat down just a few inches away. He turned his back to me slightly, grabbed the hem of his thick sweater, and lifted it up. “Look at them all you want…” He said in a trembling voice. “If that's what you want.”
“I don't want to disturb you if…”
“You won't. You know my secret now. I won't hide. Besides, you're my mate, aren't you?” He looked into my eyes as if searching for an answer and nibbled his lower lip timidly. “I'm not uncomfortable with you. I never was. I only acted like that because of the flowers.”
“It means you can be more comfortable around me now…” I replied, trying to reassure him. What was happening to me? I felt like I would do anything to make him feel better.
“I guess...”
“You must have had a hard time with your heat. How did you control your wolf?” I tried to comfort him, but my eyes were not yet brave enough to look into his. I stared stubbornly into his shining, starry eyes.
I frowned when the question caused him to stiffen. After a moment, Jimin continued, “You didn't want to see it either. It was actually close enough for you to see. I think both our wolves played tricks on us.”
“You think so?” I shrugged slightly. “I did what you wanted, actually. I didn't want to hurt you.”
I was surprised when he said, ‘You didn't hurt me’ because everything I did seemed to hurt him.
“I was lucky to spend my heart with you...”
His eyes welled up, but I didn't dwell on it or look for meaning behind it. The flowers in question were obvious; I couldn't distract myself any longer. When I finally lowered my gaze, I locked eyes with these hidden treasures. Oh, my God! They were like a heartache… I had never seen a soulmate flower up close before; it was my first time. This one belonged to the omega. It was unbelievable. Why couldn't God give me one right now? If it was natural, why didn't he give me this gift? Maybe we would both feel less alone if we had them. “May I touch it?”
Jimin nodded softly, so I ran my trembling fingers down to the area where the flowers branched. They were in the lumbar arch, at the beginning of the hidden path down to his intimate areas. That was the first time I had noticed the dimples in his lumbar region; they were so pretty. His smooth skin was shadowed by the light of the flame, resembling a divine landscape. Holding my breath, I touched my index finger to the tiny blue flower standing alone at the top. When Jimin recoiled in horror, as if something terrible had happened, I quickly withdrew my hand.
I didn't know what to say when he looked at me with wide eyes. It was as if I had snuck into a forbidden paradise. I felt guilty, but my wolf was at ease, as if this place belonged to him. I envied how well they got along with the omega's wolf. “I… I… I'm sorry...”
“They are very sensitive to the touch of a stranger…” He said quietly, bowing his head. “Don't apologize. Can you keep touching them?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Please...” He buried his face in his hands to hide his sobs, which made me uncomfortable. “Maybe I shouldn't. Jimin-ah. I'm sorry. I did something wrong.”
“Please…” He said, shaking again. It was as if he couldn't bear it when I spoke. “These flowers have longed for your touch.”
Why? I blinked; it was hard to resist him. And I didn't want to. They were so tempting that I could have looked at them all day. I was mesmerized. This time, though, I recoiled when I saw the fresh scratches and bruises where the flowers had bloomed on his skin. “Jimin…” I frowned, my finger touching the scabbed scratch involuntarily. “Why are they bruised?”
He didn't answer for a while. “I tried so hard to get rid of them once.”
I couldn't remain indifferent. When he told me the truth, I lashed out, still not understanding. Yet, we were so similar. We had both fought in other parts of the world to escape ourselves and who we were. “Besides me, who else saw them?”
“Not many people, actually. I had learned to hide them well since I was a child. My mother always told me not to show them to anyone. But when they left me, I was on my own. When the ajumma I lived with died, I joined a pack. That was the first time anyone other than my parents and the ajumma saw my flowers. After I found out that my parents died because of me, I hated them.”
“That's why they died? How?” I hadn't withdrawn my finger yet; I was running it slowly over his skin. I wanted to use all my healing power to heal his wounds right then and there.
“The plague… It decimated the entire pack. Almost everyone is dead, except for a few children and me. Ajumma and the seers said it was the curse of the flowers. That's why we were driven out of the pack I was born into. Because of me... I never brought any good to my family, you see.”
“Just like my father told me…” I said absentmindedly. “He always said my existence was a curse.”
“But your sister said the herd was very poor before you were born. With your birth, it's like a blessing.”
“It's probably lies she told to fool me…” I said. “Anyway, never mind me. I don't think your family's death has anything to do with you, so don't worry about it. I'm sure your parents wouldn't think that way if they were still alive.”
“Then it's not about you either, so don't be sad.”
“I stopped feeling sad a long time ago…”
I looked at Jimin, who flinched again when my fingertip touched a pale blue flower with pale branches. I pulled my finger away. “You don't hurt them anymore, do you?” I could see the fresh scratches on his skin.
“Uh... No.” He averted his eyes. “Not for a long time.”
“But?”
“But when you saw…” He paused. “I did it again…” A tear fell from his eye and landed on his pants. “Then I regretted it so much.”
“What did you do?” When he didn't answer, I grabbed his chin and turned his face toward me. Something inside me broke every time I touched him. “What did you do to them?”
“I tried to cut them off my skin, to scrape them off. But then I just threw the knife away…” He hiccupped and quickly wiped away his tears with the back of his hand. “It was like I wasn't myself. I was devastated when I realized what I had done. They're okay, right, Yoongi?”
When our eyes met, he tilted his head slightly to the side. “Tell me they're okay. Tell me they won't leave me.”
“They won't leave you…” I said because deep down, I knew they wouldn't. “They are your miracles. Don't hurt yourself by being angry with others. Even if it's your mate.” I swallowed and pulled my hand back. “I know I was inconsiderate. I didn't listen to you. I didn't want to understand. I didn't want to agree with you. I wanted to hurt you, but now I see that all I did was hurt myself. What you did to your flowers makes me feel terrible.”
It was admirable that I could express my feelings so clearly, even if it was only to Jimin. Considering I'd always avoided talking about my feelings, I'd made good progress.
“Isn't that what you would do, too? How would you feel?”
I shrugged; I had already been there. “I tried my best not to be recognized as a fox once. I accidentally burned my hair while trying to dye it. Then, I had to walk around with that hair. I was almost blinded once because I was stupid about the color of my eyes, but that's nothing compared to your situation...”
“Don't say that… Everyone has their own problems.”
“You're right…” I agreed with him. Sometimes he had such a wise demeanor that it was as if I were looking at an experienced Okami monk.
He took a sip of his tea, and I did too, but I couldn't finish it because I was too busy talking. It was cold by the time I took a few sips. When Jimin took small chocolate balls out of the package and offered them to me, I reluctantly accepted. We finished our bites in silence. I didn't know where we would go after tonight or what would happen to us. Did I really forgive him, or was I just convincing myself that I had?
Soon, he yawned and covered his mouth with his hand. “Sorry.”
“It's quite late.”
“Yes.”
Neither of us told the other to go to sleep. Since the day I saw his flowers, we had started sleeping in separate rooms again. Now, the ice between us was beginning to melt, and there was indecision in the air. Would it be awkward if I walked into his room without asking? Or would it be more awkward if I didn't? Honestly, I didn't understand these things at all. We were married, yet we were so distant. Even after all this… Yet, the bond between us was woven with secrets and big arguments, which only served to strengthen it.
I cleared my throat, stood up, and took the half-full cup to the kitchen. “Thank you.”
“Enjoy your meal..” When he followed me and put his cup on the counter, we tried to leave the kitchen at the same time, creating a little friction between us that burned my skin. I continued on my way as if nothing had happened, my feet guiding me to his room on their own. I was sure he was going to say something; I thought he was going to tell me my place again… I thought we were going to start a new fight… The look I felt on my back didn't hit me. He passed me by. Soon, we were both in the room originally set up for couples, but which I had said was his. I had tried so hard to design it in a way that an Omega would like, but I had never asked Jimin if he liked it. He hadn't left much of himself here anyway. Not yet, at least… Maybe it was because, all this time, he'd felt like a guest who was about to leave.
Maybe he thought I'd kick his ass when I saw the flowers. There was nothing of his around except the pile of clean clothes on the bed and the jewelry on the mirrored table. And, of course, that overpowering scent.
I took off my thick sweater, leaving me in my woolen undershirt. I threw a few more logs on the fire and lay down on the side of the bed that had been mine. We both accepted the situation as if we had reached an unspoken agreement. I held my breath as Jimin dimmed the kerosene lamp without a sound and shifted his clothes in front of the closet. The dim light inside illuminated his bare skin, giving it a divine quality. When I saw the shadow of his flowers, I tried to look away, unwilling to be confronted with this hidden treasure, this sinful sight. But I couldn't, not when they were so splendidly etched on his skin.
I caused the scars. It was unbearable…
When our eyes met, I panicked like a child caught in the act, but I handled it well. I didn't make a sound, and he walked around the bed, lay down on the right side, and got under the covers. “Good night…” He said, snuggling a little closer to me. My back must have felt like a wall, but I couldn't bring myself to turn and face him.
I still hadn't fully forgiven him; I was stubbornly going against my instincts. I was still a little resentful.
“You too…” I said, clenching my jaw. Then, all my anger dissipated. “Sleep well, Jimin.”
Every day that dawned was a new challenge. But with him, everything was a little easier. After all these years, I felt complete with someone who had the same problems as me… A missing piece of me… I could do without a soulmate on earth.
It took me back to an old memory. It was similar to what I heard a long time ago when I was standing next to a Yōkai seer on the thornbush-covered side of the road leading to the Little Ryūno Mountains. Those were the years when I thought Hyuna had entered my life to stay. I was still a small, clueless, and helpless child. I refused to believe that I didn't have a soul mate and that someone would suddenly appear and rescue me from my life. I believed this and betrayed those in my life for a long time. Then, I thought I was to blame. Maybe they were in a difficult situation, and all I was doing was whining while going about my day. I should have gone and saved them. But when you don't know where you're going, your feet won't take you there. I had no road map, no guide, and no inner voice. In fact, this was strong proof that I had no partner in the world.
There were times when I woke up in the middle of the night and gazed at the moon, which had taken on a crescent shape. I prayed to the moon god, weeping as I did so. There were also times when I would sneak away and leave the food my mother had prepared for me at the altars. I did this in secret, in the hope that I would starve. And there were times when I would turn to the seers who lived far away. The seers of the small villages dismissed me. But, for the first time, I traveled farther—a two-day journey—to that mountain path. There, an old, hunchbacked seer named Ryu agreed to see me. This was perhaps the most important thing that ended my wait.
I had once heard that fate could be read in the lines of the palm of your hand. I immediately suggested that maybe it was all in those tiny, faint lines on my palm. I thought that my palm was the path that would lead me to my soulmate. Ryu laughed wisely when I said that, as if he pitied me. “No one can read destiny in the lines of the palm, young Alpha.”
“Not even you, sir?”
“Not even me…” With that, he turned my hand away and sat down on his wooden cot. He looked too old to walk. He looked at me for a long time, and I remember his face to this day. “If you have a soulmate, you'll know. Do you feel it?”
I paused nervously. Did I feel it? I didn't know what I was supposed to feel. Sometimes, my heart felt like it was pounding, and I would wake up gasping for breath. But my sister said it was just a bad dream, so I told him honestly. “I don't know, sir.”
“How tightly can you hold on to something you don't know? Turn back as soon as you can. Do you want to waste your life on someone who will never come, or do you want to find the meaning of your life? Think if this is you and if it is, you will know what to do. Could you be so much more? The time for hiding behind excuses is over. No savior is coming; you have to take responsibility for your life. Many young people like you come here. I know that look well.”
Somehow, I knew the seer was talking about my father. He said no one could know my fate, yet he understood my problems at a glance. He continued, “Only God can intervene in destiny. We have no authority. There is a great punishment for interfering with destiny. You should not ask anyone for it… But, according to the great books, every soul will find its mate sooner or later. And again, according to the books, it may take thousands of years; it may take only weeks or days. No one can know that. Reunion requires effort. God has a plan for everyone, young Alpha. Keep that in mind.”
“So, if I wait, will my soulmate come? My parents want to marry me off, so I should say no…"
He interrupted me with a laugh. “What if your soulmate isn't in this world, and you'll meet them in the next life?”
“But what if they are in this world?”
“That's what we call fate. You have no choice but to gamble with your life. Maybe your soulmate is the omega you'll marry. You know, you can't always tell with flowers. Not everyone with flowers can be your soulmate. It's a matter of compatibility. Many soulmates have left this world hating each other.”
Now that I think about it, I don't believe he was a liar. There are so many so-called seers who claim to be able to help people find their soul mates. Those who tell the truth are few and far between. Our pack's seer is one of them. When we first met, I suggested that Jimin go to him to find out if he had a soul mate, which was a mistake. Most of the seers were full of nonsense and made people believe in signs that weren't there. Jimin's panic at the time proved that my suggestion was a mistake. The appearance of his flowers must have frightened him.
Most wolves don't have soulmates, so why was I so hopeful? It must have been the seer's words. I wanted to be saved, but I was the only one who could do it.
I understood now. It was late, but I had succeeded. I knew that the savior of one's soul could only be its owner… A man who couldn't save his own soul couldn't ask for a mate…
These were my thoughts in the time it took me to feel heartache. I could hear Jimin's steady breathing next to me, and it brought me peace. I would no longer worry about things I couldn't change. I would move on... I would be more willing to get to know Jimin and try not to hurt him. All I had was this little home and a good omega ready and willing to give me all his love… Yes, he had made mistakes, but who among us hadn't?
Notes:
hellooo🫶🏽, in this chapter, we delved into the past...
i hope you liked this chapter, please leave kudos and comment! thank youuu💗
twitter- kittyganpark
Chapter 22: Threadnest
Chapter Text
[trigger warning]*
*mentions of self harm
21. You won't find the love I laid out for you in the hearts of others.
Jimin was indescribably happy when he lay down on his back on his side of the bed and realized that the side of the bed that belonged to Yoongi had finally been filled by his soulmate after so many painful days.
He had gotten so used to sleeping with Yoongi that sleeping alone had become painful. He spent nights in the empty bed, missing Yoongi deeply and silently shedding tears because he felt weak and needy. But what could he do? No matter what, Yoongi was the only place he could go back to. No matter what mistakes he made or how much he broke Yoongi's heart, this truth remained constant. It would never change. He had no one else in this vast world.
That's why he was terrified and avoided admitting his fear. The past few days had been so painful and chaotic that he stumbled uncontrollably. He hadn't fully recovered from his illness or the constant arguments filled with anger and hatred and sharp words that pierced his skin in different ways. Still, he had survived this battle. Now, there was nothing left for him to do but pat himself on the back.
But what had he done? He took his anger out on innocent flowers that had done nothing wrong. It was a sin he didn't want to remember, and he didn't know how God could forgive him. After all, hadn't God cursed him from the start? Maybe God had forbidden him from appearing before Him. He didn't know. In his eyes, God was cruel. God had never done anything good for Jimin. Maybe God was evil and took pleasure in causing him and his soulmate pain.
He stirred slightly in bed when he felt the delicate flowers burning through the thin fabric of his pajamas. About ten minutes had passed since Yoongi whispered goodnight to him. Since then, Jimin had stared at the ceiling without breathing. To him, this was an impossible dream. At the slightest movement, Yoongi would slip away.
It was similar to a dream he always had. In it, just as he and Yoongi were about to hold hands, Yoongi's face would fade away, or Jimin would fall from a great height and wake up in fear. Even his dreams seemed to be telling him that it was impossible.
When the hem of his pajama top shifted slightly, his flowers brushed against the cold sheet, creating an odd tingling sensation that made his palate itch and sent a shiver down his spine. This feeling reminded him of the first time Yoongi embraced him in the forest that night, unknowingly touching his flowers. He blinked slightly and whispered to himself without moving his lips.
“I'm sorry. How could I have done this to you? Forgive me, my flowers...”
He had also confessed the foolish thing he had done to his alpha. But what could he do? He was already hiding so much from him. He couldn't bear to hide anything else. So, he blurted it out. Now, remembering it was suffocating him. He had also upset Yoongi. Maybe that was why he had done it. He had set his mind on making his Alpha feel as bad as he did.
On the day they fought and Yoongi left him, Jimin found himself in the bathroom facing one of the razors his alpha used to shave. His trembling fingers grasped the slightly rusty, sharp tool without thinking. A moment later, he was standing in front of the broken mirror. The mirror had also been shattered by his Alpha's anger. Jimin didn't remember how it had happened. He had just experienced the hardest minutes of his life. Looking at his broken face in the mirror, he could only lie there trembling helplessly.
With tears streaming down his face, he pressed the sharp edge of the razor against his flowers, trying to erase them from his skin once again after all these years. Despite knowing he would fail, he clung to a sickly hope, cutting his blue flowers. The innocent flowers, with their branches and withered leaves, were shocked by what had happened to them. They tried to curl up and escape. He wasn't mistaken; they were alive, and these feelings weren't a dream. Those flowers were alive. They were part of his skin and existence. Whatever he did to them, he was doing to himself.
As they bled, drop by drop, as if crying, and trickled down onto his white pajamas, Jimin felt no pain. Within a few minutes, however, he realized what he had done and quickly threw the razor into a corner. He ran to his room. He couldn't have done this. He wanted to believe it was a bad dream, trembling for a while under the blankets and still feeling the blood flowing from the flowers cut by the razor. Half an hour later, he found the courage to get up and check on them. There wasn't a single drop of blood on the bed, and the flowers looked normal. New wounds had appeared on his waist. The wounds had already scabbed over. It was as if he'd been slapped in the face.
‘How could you give up when we found a way to exist again?’
His mistake was inexcusable. He hurt both himself and his soulmate. He wasn't even aware of it. While he was hurting his flowers, Yoongi was affected too, of course, but neither of them realized it. Yoongi never mentioned the strange pain in his chest or his inner turmoil. He attributed it to sadness, but the real reason was the bleeding flowers.
How could Jimin have done this? After all, he had promised never to harm them again the last time he was just 13 years old. That's why, when Yoongi touched his flowers today, he put everything aside. As if facing a monk, he asked for forgiveness and confessed his sin.
Yoongi's touch was healing, though he wasn't aware of it. He wished he could spend the whole day caressing his flowers and giving them the confidence he couldn't provide.
How could he do that? Especially after looking into his eyes and lying to him again today. He wasn't sure if listening to his inner wolf was a good idea anymore, but he had no other choice. The wolf was greater and more powerful than him. Jimin did whatever the wolf told him to do. There was no option but to obey its commands.
If it said wait, he would wait. If it said be silent, he would be silent. If it said speak, he would speak.
He couldn't risk losing its interest by revealing the truth. He wasn't brave enough. Before consulting his alpha, though, he could have described himself as a brave omega. Someone with nothing to lose.
Did Yoongi feel sorry for him? He couldn't read its feelings. The marks and bonds were incomplete. Had they been, he would have known her feelings on every subject and acted accordingly. They could have been a harmonious couple. Now, however, the door was a wall, an even more closed door than before. He had lost Yoongi's trust. Still, he was lying next to him. Maybe he felt sorry for him, too. He should have stayed by his side to prevent him from cutting his flowers again and harming himself. But something about Yoongi opening up to him today had devastated Jimin. Yoongi's lost gaze and trembling voice drew Jimin closer. Being the first person Yoongi told about what had happened with Hyuna seemed to have had a positive effect on their relationship, despite everything.
Maybe there was still a part of him that trusted Yoongi, and maybe he would never lose that trust no matter what.
But he couldn't live with such possibilities. Why wasn't everything over, leaving him with this ambiguous feeling?
As sleep refused to come, he listened to the steady breathing of the Alpha beside him. ‘If only you knew…’ He thought to himself. ‘Would you regret knowing, or curse yourself for not knowing? ’
Jimin was terrified that he would be too late and that the love he had been saving for him would die. What if he never came? How long would he keep waiting? He had been consumed by the search for a soulmate whose love for him was uncertain.
After that night, he decided to act differently. He would continue on his path without compromising or destroying himself. He wouldn't beg Yoongi to love or see him; he would look ahead. Their relationship wasn't great, and he didn't want to make it worse. Alpha was going through tough times, so he would give him the time he needed.
At least he would try this way. He couldn't say, “Stand in front of me and love me. My love is dying. Everything inside me that belongs to you is dying. Take a step toward me because I can't take it anymore…” But he wished he could.
He had tensed himself so much that he felt as heavy as a log when he moved. Still, he turned his face toward him. One part of him longed to be close to him and take something from him… A feeling so overwhelming that he couldn't ignore it…
He couldn't stop thinking about his touch. The moment his fingers touched his skin was magical. It was gentle, oh so gentle… Those hands couldn't be the same as the Alpha's rough hands that had gripped his wrists that morning. The Alpha had touched him as if he knew flowers. Jimin thought he would die right there, a moan escaping his lips as he begged the Alpha to continue. Who knows what the Alpha was thinking? Perhaps he thought he was soothing the pain of someone else's flowers and that he was someone else's soulmate. Jimin had told him that the flowers were innate, but it was unclear whether he believed it.
Lying on his side, Jimin was close enough to touch Yoongi if he reached out. The firelight from the fireplace illuminated the room softly and cast a mesmerizing glow on Yoongi's red hair. Jimin raised his hand toward Yoongi's hair, but his fingers trembled as he was about to touch it. He pressed his lips together. His alpha's sleep was as light as a fox's. He was certain that at the slightest touch, he would startle like an animal about to be hunted. Disturbing him would not be pleasant, especially after what had happened.
He stopped touching him, and once he was sure he wouldn't fall asleep, he got up and sat in the chair by the window. His old bag caught his eye at the foot of the chair. It was the last thing he had left from his old life. He hadn't thrown it away yet. Its contents were much more valuable to him. Inside were a rusty silver knife that had weathered hard times, a few rags, and the only thing left to him from his family, a wooden fox carved by his father when he was a child… He hadn't seen it in a long time. Once his life had settled into some semblance of order, he had simply forgotten about it. This caused an odd heaviness in his heart. He ran his finger over the fox's rough surface and smiled slightly.
Perhaps that was why he loved foxes so much. Perhaps that was why he had been so happy when he realized his soulmate was a hybrid. Jimin loved spending time with his father and enjoyed watching him work. Even though he didn't have many memories, he clearly remembered the moment his father carved the wooden fox and gave it to him.
“The silver-tailed dream fox protects all the innocent, the helpless, and sweet children like you who wake up with nightmares, regardless of their type… Its fur shines like fire, its tail sparkles with embers, and its eyes burn with endless compassion… This fox, with its many tails, flung its nine red tails into the sky to fulfill its duty, and each tail transformed into an ancient guardian. The fox spirit walks in dreams, leaping from dream to dream. At night, it covers children with blankets, waits by the bedside of the lonely, and weaves dream nets. If a child wakes up from a nightmare and feels safe for no reason, know that a fox spirit has been there. Never let it leave your side. Silvertail will always give you courage and confidence… I carved it from dreams…”
These days, he needed Silvertail more than anything else because his life outside of sleep felt like a nightmare. Could Silvertail help him? Could it bring his soulmate to him? He clutched the small figure tightly and curled up in the chair. ‘Be my guide, Silvertail... Please…’ He thought.
As a tear rolled down his cheek, he was enveloped in an indescribable feeling. It was as if a hand were wrapping around him. He trembled, even though the room was warm. A moment later, Yoongi stirred, and his intense gaze found him as if Yoongi had placed him there.
Jimin panicked, dropping the fox he held onto the ground with a clatter. He spoke awkwardly, as if he had been caught doing something terrible. “Oh my God, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to wake you.” As he bent down to pick up the fox, he quickly wiped his eyes. He didn't like crying in front of Yoongi. He didn't want to appear helpless and needy. He was much more than he showed… He was a treasure waiting to be found. But no one was looking for him.
“I didn't wake up to the noise.” Yoongi explained as he sat up slightly. Jimin's eyes fell on the exposed part of Yoongi's chest, and he found himself swallowing lightly. The warmth radiating from there seemed to hit him directly. “Then why did you wake up?” He looked away and stared at the fox in his hand.
“I don't know…” He said, stroking his face. “Maybe it was a bad dream. Something insignificant.” He looked carefully at him, then at the vague shadow in his hand. “What is that?”
Jimin didn't answer right away, staring blankly at his Alpha. The glistening tears were still on his face. “This? Ah, this thing… A fox…”
“What?” He asked, puzzled.
“I've been keeping it in my bag for a long time. I forgot about it, but it helped me overcome a lot of difficulties.” He lifted it slightly to show it to him. “I was restless when I couldn't sleep.”
Surprisingly, the fox caught Yoongi's attention. The alpha furrowed his brows and said, “Come to bed… Don't just sit there.” Then he paused. “Or is it because of me? Did you not sleep because of me?”
“What? No.”
“I just got into bed without asking. Maybe you didn't want that. I didn't think about it… I didn't ask. I didn't want to prolong it because you were afraid of sleeping alone.”
He remembered… Something about him had stuck in his mind…
“On the contrary...” Jimin paused. What hadn't he said to him? What did his Alpha remember, and what did he forget? Was the intense, warm moment when he confessed his feelings still in his memory, for example? Jimin wished he could erase it. It had been such a sudden, helpless outburst that he had regretted it later. “I'm glad you're here again…” He shyly lowered his eyes again. “Besides, this bed is your bed, too.”
“Come…” He said softly, lifting the blanket. “You're shivering.”
He realized he was shivering at that moment. Without letting go of his fox, he quietly got up, obeyed, and climbed back into the bed. Yoongi pulled the blanket tightly over them. This time, they were closer to each other, both leaning their backs against the shiny wooden headboard. “Can I see your fox?”
“Of course… He had never given his fox to anyone before, but he already had a real fox… His soulmate… He would give him everything. When Yoongi extended the toy, he hesitantly took it.
“My father was very good at woodcarving. He could make anything with his hands. Well, he used to be... I don't really remember. He did it so that I would have someone to look after me. It was as if he had known that I would be alone as an omega for the rest of my life…”
“You're not alone anymore…” He said, pausing. “Now you have a real fox to watch over you.”
Jimin's tearful eyes slowly met the alpha's. As he walked down the path, he paused for a moment, his lips parting slightly. He swallowed. What did he mean? He hoped it had nothing to do with feeling indebted because he had confessed his love. His heart was too weary to hope, but the wolf had liked it, even though it was just a wolf. The fox represented a dark side of Yoongi that he didn't know.
“It's nice to hear that…”
“You think I'm just saying it.”
“No…” He said, lowering his head. But it was a bit like that. “What does it have to do with anything?”
“I know you a little…” He sighed, still studying the fox. “I'm sure you think I feel indebted to you right now.”
“What does that mean?” His face flushed, but luckily it was too dark inside for him to see. “What debt?” Yoongi could understand him… Sometimes Yoongi said things that made Jimin think, ‘He knows… He knows we're soulmates!’
“Lately, a lot of wrong words have come out of my mouth, but this wasn't one of them. I was serious… As for feeling indebted, you know exactly what I mean. This wasn't a response to what you said to me…” He paused, his lips parting and closing. “But I need a little more time to think about it.”
“I don't understand what you're talking about…” He continued, pretending not to know. Eventually, Yoongi would surely get angry and turn away.
No, he didn't. He didn't… He chose to let his heart speak instead. “You have feelings for me, and I've actually been aware of them for a long time… Still, hearing it from you was shocking. At the time, I didn't dwell on it; I ran away from the feelings. But now, I feel like I've brushed you off. This isn't something to brush off. I don't want you to think I don't care about your feelings…” He reached out to Jimin, and Jimin reached out to him. When their fingers lightly brushed against each other, they both held their breath. “I care about your feelings, Jimin… You weren't honest with me about the flowers, but you were more honest than I could ever be about your feelings.”
Jimin swallowed, slowly pulling Yoongi into his lap. He was unsure of what to say. It seemed like Yoongi had responded to what he’d said. But he wasn’t sure what kind of response it was. He couldn’t find an answer for a while. It wasn’t a secret that he liked Yoongi, but Jimin was so sure that his alpha was blind to his feelings that he found it strange he’d understood without him saying anything. Maybe he wasn’t as blind as he thought… There was a part of him that longed to be loved. Maybe that was his wolf…
“I know I've opened new wounds that are hard to heal…” He said, reaching out to the omega's hand in his lap. He lingered there for a moment without touching him. Looking at his face as if seeking approval, he finally slowly wrapped his little finger around the omega's tiny little finger. “But I'll do everything I can to heal your old wounds. Then, I'll mend the ones I've caused. Give me time… Foxes keep their word, you know.”
Jimin had already lost touch with reality. His eyes were fixed on their pinkies, which had just touched. It was lovely and touching… Even though it wasn't a full touch, ıt was perhaps the warmest moment he had shared with this alpha… The most real moment… He felt like crying like a river. His lips trembled as he clenched his teeth… His vision was already blurring… He had to forgive him in his heart. He had to remind himself countless times that he couldn't blame someone who knew nothing about anything. What would he have done if he were in Yoongi's place? Yoongi had been lied to, and then he stood in front of him and said he loved him. Yoongi handled the situation well, and now he was showing his greatness by admitting his fault.
Jimin was ashamed of all the angry words he had spoken. Before him stood an alpha who hadn't lied to him. He was honest and kindhearted. His only problem was that he couldn't see… Jimin would love him anyway, flaws and all.
Jimin couldn't look at Yoongi, and he didn't even think to take his eyes off their intertwined fingers… That magical touch… Today, he had experienced such intense moments that they had swept him away like a hurricane, and his heart couldn't handle it. For a moment, he was torn, burning with desire to be closer to him. His father's fox stood quietly between them, staring at him intently. He knew that if his father saw his beloved son being hurt by an alpha like this, he would make Yoongi's life a living hell. Thinking about this, he couldn't help but smile; however, his smile was as pale as a dead leaf. Yoongi noticed this but didn't consider the consequences of his actions. He couldn't resist the voice inside him. He let go of his finger, grabbed the omega's shoulder, and pulled him close to his chest. “I'll wait until you fall asleep…” He said. “You're safe, and you won't have nightmares... I promise. Sleep now. Rest well…”
The lump in Jimin's throat grew larger as he rested his head on his alpha's chest, right above his heart. Its steady rhythm sounded like a lullaby, as if his heart were beating just for him. ‘Don't give up on me…’ It seemed to say. After closing his eyes, Jimin gently placed his hand on the alpha's chest. Fearing that this moment might be a dream, he drifted into a peaceful sleep without saying a word. There were no words left to be said.
When he woke up the next morning, his wooden fox was by his bedside, but the side of the bed belonging to the Alpha was empty. He braced himself just before the heartbreak hit. Every new day meant a new battle, and he had to get used to it. There was something about their relationship that changed from day to day. God only knew if day and night were just a dream.
At that moment, the door creaked open and Yoongi appeared. His hair was slightly damp, and he was dressed in a loose-fitting, cream-colored outfit. Jimin searched his eyes for meaning but saw no anger glowing in them. He wasn't having a bad day. “I came to wake you up…” He said, continuing to look at Jimin. “Good morning. I was thinking we could have breakfast together…” He said, gesturing toward the kitchen. “I bought some vegetable buns. Eat them while they're still warm if you like.”
“What?”
“Buns…” Yoongi looked away in surprise. “For breakfast.”
Jimin nodded quickly. “I understand…” He said. “I… Sorry, I didn't catch what you said for a moment. I'll be right there. Give me a minute, please.”
As Yoongi quietly turned back inside, Jimin grabbed his pillow, buried his face in it, and used it to stifle his scream. Last night had been real. Yoongi had gripped his finger, pulled him close to his chest, and perhaps given him the most beautiful thing he could offer after such an emotional storm. He slipped on a robe, walked barefoot to the bathroom, and a few minutes later stepped into the kitchen. “Did you sleep well?”
It was perhaps the best sleep of his life. He nodded and bit his lip. His Alpha's hair was in his favorite state: slightly damp, darkened, and tousled. He found himself reaching out to stroke it but pressed his hand against his chest instead. “I slept very well. How about you?”
“Me too…” He placed two plates on the table. “Sit down.”
“No, let me help. You've done so much while I was sleeping.”
“Just a quick trip to the market…”
When Jimin caught the scent of a large package of chocolate-flavored desserts on the counter, his nostrils flared. “Did you buy more chocolate desserts?”
Yoongi panicked like a child caught in the act. “Yes, I was worried it would run out at the market.”
The omega couldn't help but smile upon hearing this. “But you didn't have to buy all of them…” Then he fell silent, afraid of upsetting his alpha. Was his alpha doing all this because he loved him? Did he want him to fall irrevocably in love with him? He was succeeding. One day, his alpha would break him so badly and make him hate himself that Jimin would think he could never love him again. Then, with a single gesture, his alpha made all the ice melt.
“I just bought a bit.”
“Thank you.”
“No need to thank me; I love them, too.” When he sat down, Jimin sat across from him. Just a few weeks ago, Jimin had sat on Yoongi's lap at this table, acting like a fierce omega. His face flushed. Sometimes, he desired Yoongi so much that he couldn't deny it. Even when Yoongi shouted at him with hatred, Jimin was desperate to be touched by him. How could he not be? Yoongi was the most attractive and charming alpha he had ever seen. It had nothing to do with being soulmates.
“What are you going to do today?” He asked as he put a small piece of dried meat in his mouth.
“I don't know…” The omega shrugged. The buns he had cut were fresh and warm. “I think I'll stay home. What about you?”
“We're giving the kids a test today, so I need to be there early. They need to apply what they've learned.” He looked at the clock on the wall. “I'm afraid I'm running late.”
“Is that so? I won't keep you. Go ahead…” He said, his mood suddenly changing. Still, he tried to smile. “Don't keep them waiting. Thanks for breakfast.”
“I'll try to come back early. Goodbye.” He popped one last bite into his mouth, put on his coat, and left the house before Jimin could see him off, waving as he went.
*****
When Jimin's alpha left, it took him a while to grasp the reality of it. Everything was overwhelming, and he thought he would have to accept it. His alpha had left suddenly. This Alpha acted spontaneously and without planning, always catching Jimin off guard.
As Jimin tidied up the house, feeling a mix of sadness and hope, the doorbell rang. When he opened the door, his heart in his mouth, he didn't see the person he was expecting. “What's wrong? Aren't you happy?”
“Taehyung…” He said softly. He was actually surprised to see Taehyung at the door. It was the first time Taehyung had come alone. “What brought you here?”
“Yuri.”
“Hm?”
“Today, we're meeting with the Omegas at Threadnest. We have these meetings every month. I'm telling you in case you didn't know. We tell stories, knit, and eat sweet snacks. It's our secret place. That's how it is. Noona insisted that I invite you.” He swayed his hips, wearing a bracelet that jingled and caught the eye. Today, however, he had a certain glow about him that he couldn't quite place. It was as if he were on fire. “To be honest, I wanted you to come, too. You haven't been around much lately.”
“Did you miss me?” He asked mischievously.
“Where did you get that idea?”
He giggled. “Did you say Threadnest? What's that?”
“Hmm, yes. In every pack, there are places like this where omegas gather to clear their heads. Ours is called that. It was my idea.” He waited for him to compliment his good taste, but Jimin was distracted. The sighing omega said, “Well? What are you going to do?”
“Sure, I'll come…” He said without thinking much about it. He didn't want to stay home anyway. Knitting circle or whatever—he could go anywhere today. “When should I come?”
“It'll start soon. Everyone will bring something to eat.”
“Oh…” He said, panicking. “What should I bring?”
“We're bringing the desserts and snacks that we prepared at home. I made my special recipe that they love.”
There wasn't much at Jimin's house besides chocolate balls, and he pressed his lips together. His Alpha had taken them for themselves, but he didn't want to show up empty-handed. “I'll bring some chocolate desserts, okay?”
“Hm?” Taehyung raised an eyebrow. “There weren't any left at the market. Where did you get them?”
The omega was truly surprised, and he bit his lip to suppress a chuckle as his inner omega purred with pleasure. “Yoongi bought some…” No, he had bought the entire counter.
The omega shot him a glance from above. “All right then. You bring the chocolate desserts.” He stopped at the door. “Do you need help?”
“That would be nice…” He said cautiously. Today, Taehyung was in a good mood, and Jimin was happy. Everyone was treating him as if he were a delicate porcelain figurine. “Come on in.”
“For a moment, I thought you wouldn't invite me in.”
“I'm sorry. I was surprised because you never come over.”
“I don't have time to scratch my head. It's like you come over every day.” He said as he entered and took off his vibrant, long, velvet cloak, leaving it on the couch. Such ornate, elegant capes were something only married omegas from the upper class could wear when the weather warmed up. Jimin had never worn one before and preferred his alpha's fur coat.
After closing the door, Jimin directed him to the living room. “You can sit if you like...” Then, he looked at the red teapot boiling over the fire. “Would you like some matcha tea?”
“I'd love some!” He sat down on the sofa, holding the hem of his clothes, and began to survey the room. “Spring is coming… A wonderful time to redecorate the house.”
Jimin nodded as he poured the tea into small, flowered cups. “I never thought of doing that.”
“Why not? What else is an Omega supposed to do? You need to make your home a more beautiful place.”
“Is the house bad?” He asked, handing him the cup. He knew he'd hear another lecture. “What's wrong with it?” Despite the faded wallpaper, handwoven rugs, simple furniture in mismatched colors, and colorful cushions that made the house feel warm and welcoming, Jimin had endured his greatest pains and fears there. Every time he looked at the chair, he saw the moment Yoongi saw the flowers. Every time he looked at the bathroom door, he saw the moment Yoongi was so distraught because of him that he vomited.
“I wouldn't say it's bad. It's just... How should I put it? Old-fashioned… Like your mother's or grandmother's house...”
Jimin sat down quietly across from him. “I never met my grandmother. My mother and father lived in a small shack. This house is the most beautiful and comfortable home I've ever had.”
Taehyung realized he'd said something stupid and paused. Sometimes, he judged people based on his own circumstances, only to hit a brick wall. As someone who had never experienced hardship, he couldn't understand others who had. Still, he felt bad. If he were to say he felt sorry for Jimin and apologize to him, no one would believe it. He pulled the cup away from his lips. “I'm sorry. I forgot how terrible your life has been.”
He didn't realize how rude that sounded. Jimin knew him well enough to know that it wasn't sarcastic. He smiled slightly. He couldn't judge anyone for living a good life that others couldn't understand. “It's okay. Maybe one day you can help me redecorate the house. I love your taste.”
“Really?” He said excitedly. Then, he realized what he was doing and held his face still. “Let's think about it. If I'm not busy, I'll try to help.”
“Okay, let's do that.”
“Thanks for the tea. It would be even better with some dried mulberries.”
“I'll remember that next time.”
"I'll do that next time…” He replied. An awkward silence fell between them. Then they drank their tea. “I'll get ready…” Said Jimin, still in his pajamas, as he stood up.
“Yes... I think so too.”
Jimin walked toward his room and quickly examined the omega. His gaze was fixed on the spot where the omega was sitting upright on the couch. There was something odd about him today, but Jimin couldn't figure it out. He looked in his closet, certain that whatever he wore would be criticized. He ended up wearing a sea foam-colored, woolen, silk sweater with a slightly open neckline and loose, thick pants. He took a breath beside the young omega.
"It's too simple…” Taehyung said, sizing him up. “You don't know how to dress up.”
“I like simplicity. I always forget to wear jewelry.”
He had never owned any.
“That won't do. In Threadnest, everyone competes with each other; everyone tries to show off. As Min brides, we must make our presence known.”
“Isn't being a Kim enough?” He asked, smiling mischievously. “You're quite the charmer, I see.”
“I'm doing my best…”
Taehyung stood up, took a large diamond brooch out of his velvet bag, and without hesitation, pinned it to Jimin's lapel. He had wanted to do this for a long time but didn't know how. Jimin was different from anyone else he had met, and Taehyung was hesitant to approach him. “Now you're dazzling.”
“But it's yours…”
“No, it's yours.”
“How?” Jimin touched the delicate, flower-shaped, diamond brooch on his chest. It sparkled flawlessly as the light reflected off it, and it was about the size of a walnut.
“You saved Jungkook's life. Did you think there wouldn't be a reward for that?”
“I didn't expect a reward…” Jimin insisted, trying to remove the brooch in shock and feeling guilty. “Please take this.”
Taehyung held the hand holding the brooch and closed it. His eyes were filled with worry and pleading. “If you don't accept this, I won't be able to lift the weight off my shoulders. I've never owed anyone anything in my life, Jimin. Please accept it…”
Jimin was so shocked that he didn't know what to say. He looked at the heavy brooch in his hand; it was clearly priceless. It must have been worth more than the jewelry Yoongi had bought for him. He swallowed hard. It was impossible for him to understand the pain Taehyung was going through. Despite their differences, they could still empathize with one another, coming from such different lives.
“Know that I did what I had to do that day. I had something I could use, and I used it. I would do it again if I had to. I love Jungkook. You don't have to feel bad about it, but I'll accept it…” He said emotionally. “I see you as my little brother, and this brooch is very valuable to me. I'll keep it until I die.”
Taehyung's dark eyes sparkled, and he smiled. “I had it made by Arashi's best jewelers for you. Do you like it?”
“I love it.”
“Go ahead and wear it.”
He did as he was told and didn't upset him. After putting on the small, flower-shaped earrings that his alpha had given him as a wedding gift, he was ready to leave. He put on his light-colored coat and set off with Taehyung for the house, the location of which he did not know. On the way, people looked at them with envy as they walked side by side smiling, and some stopped them to chat.
They stopped by Taehyung's house because the food he was going to take to Threadnest was still there. Jimin quietly entered the bright living room with classic furniture and high ceilings. He saw Jungkook covered in flour and greeted him in surprise. Clearly, the alpha was working hard again.
Jimin sat down thoughtfully on the couch and soon heard the two arguing from afar. He couldn't help but overhear their conversation.
“You burned all the cookies, Kook! I don't believe you. You couldn't even do the one thing you were supposed to do!”
“My love, I did my best! I swear I followed the recipe you wrote.”
“So you're saying the recipe was wrong?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“What am I going to bring to the meeting now? I'm going to lose my mind. Trusting you was my mistake.”
Jungkook remained silent for a while, but Taehyung became angrier. After exchanging harsh words, the tray crashed to the floor. Jungkook, who turned bright red with anger, was the one who did this, unlike Taehyung. He had gotten up before dawn to complete the tasks Taehyung had given him because his omega was feeling ill, his scent had intensified, and he was in pain. He was on the verge of going into heat. That's why he was so irritable. Jungkook had tried very hard to make Taehyung happy, but his patience had finally run out.
“I put my alpha status aside just because you wanted me to, Taehyung! I haven't been to work in days. I sit with you all day and fulfill your every wish! It wouldn't hurt to show a little gratitude!”
“For me?” Taehyung looked at him, startled. His Alpha had never been so angry with him before. “I don't know if you realize it, but you couldn't be an alpha anyway. You almost died in that forest! I even stood up to your father to ensure that nothing like that would ever happen to you again. You should be grateful to me. Great Eloa, I can't believe this. You're so ungrateful.”
He collapsed into a chair and began to cry, but this did not soften the Alpha. He took off his apron and threw it on the floor. “So that's how it is.”
“Exactly!”
“I'm leaving.”
“Where do you think you're going? You need to help me! I can't do it alone!” He raged.
“I've helped you enough. Since I can't be the alpha, you'll have to find a new one to help you!”
And he slammed the door and left.
Jimin had heard Jungkook's last words and the rest as well. He sat there in shock as the door slammed shut. But how long could he sit there? He felt like jumping out the window and running away. Instead, he got up and entered the kitchen, which had white walls and was filled with burnt cookies. As he paused at the doorframe, Taehyung sat motionless.
“He told me to find another alpha…” He said in a cold voice.
Jimin was genuinely surprised, but this wasn't the harshest thing he'd ever heard from an Alpha. He didn't dwell on it, though, because his own Alpha had said much worse. Most things said in anger don't reflect the truth. Still, it was about Jungkook, who was in love and had sacrificed everything for Taehyung. Jimin thought they always got along great and envied them, but they also argued and upset each other. Everyone upsets the people they love… Apparently, that wasn't unique to them. Of course, Yoongi didn't love him as much as he loved Yoongi, an important detail. Still, these moments had taught him a lesson.
“I'm going to break up with him. I'm going to leave him, move in with my relatives in the north, and never let him find me. I'll punish him with my absence.”
Jimin went over to him and bent down to pick up the cinnamon cookies scattered everywhere. “Isn't that punishing yourself too?” He asked.
Taehyung was stubborn. “I don't care. I want him to die of pain.”
“But you love him so much.”
“Not at all.”
“I don't think you'd be this hurt by someone you don't love.”
“Shut up!” He finally snapped. Tears streamed down his smooth cheeks.
“I'm sure Jungkook already regrets what he said.”
“Did you hear what he said?” When he looked at Jimin through his tears, the omega spoke the truth. “I was just in the next room. It was impossible not to hear you.”
Taehyung said, “I'm humiliated…You'll tell everyone, and they'll find out that my perfect marriage is falling apart.”
“I won't tell anyone…” The omega replied, sounding genuinely offended. “I’m not a tattletale.”
The younger one had already moved on to another topic, elegantly wiping his runny nose with a red handkerchief. “He never said things like that to me before. They say alphas change when they get married, but I didn't believe it.”
“But didn't you push him too?” He said, trying to soften the tension between them. Then, he stood up and placed the tray on the counter. None of the cookies were in a condition to be eaten. “Telling him he couldn't be an alpha was hurtful. He is an alpha, after all.”
“Why are you sticking your nose in this?”
“Because I overheard...” He added, “I can leave you alone if you want.”
“No! Don't go…” He shook weakly. “I shouldn't have snapped at you. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm going crazy these days. My heat is coming. Jungkook knows it. He doesn't understand at all.”
Jimin stood there indecisively for a moment, then spoke up. “Once your heat passes, you'll be able to see things more clearly. I was sensitive, too.”
“This will be the first time I'm in heat with my alpha, and I'm worried. What if he doesn't like my wolf? What if they can't get along? I'm going crazy thinking about it.”
“Don't be silly. He loves everything about you.”
“What if one day he gives up on it?” His eyes were red, and he looked at Jimin imploringly. Jimin had never seen him so vulnerable. He reached out and rested his hand on his shoulder. “No one gives up on love that easily. Especially Jungkook.”
“Is Yoongi like that, too?"”He sniffed. “Has he ever said anything to upset you?”
“Wouldn't he…” Jimin sighed and shrugged, listing everything he knew to calm him down. “These are the spices of marriage, Taehyung...”
“Is that why you acted like enemies when we came over for dinner?”
“We weren't, but of course we have disagreements sometimes. That's only natural.” Who was he to judge others when his own relationship was so superficial? It was ridiculous, yet Omega's heart was slowly relaxing. “The moment you're sure you hate him, something happens and you realize you love him irrevocably. Relationships teach us new things every day, Taehyung. That's the purpose of relationships. Sometimes you have to let go, and sometimes you have to hold on tight. In my opinion, we both need to hold on tight to our alphas' strings.”
“Oh, Jiminshi…” He murmured warmly. “You sound like a book. If I didn't know you, I'd think you were a wise prophet. You've eased my mind...” The tears had finally stopped.
“I'm glad.”
“But I'm still hurt. I'll never forgive him without an apology.”
Jimin smiled and handed the omega a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe away his tears. It wasn't one of Yoongi's. Those were only his. “Wipe your tears, and let's go.”
“No way. I don't have any snacks. I'll be embarrassed. You go. I can't come.”
“Don't be silly. It won't work without you. All the omegas want to see you.”
“You're wrong…” He said, placing his hand on his forehead, but didn't continue. “I'm burning up. I'll go lie down. Jungkook has never yelled at me like that before. Great Eloa, he was so seductive! That's probably why.”
Jimin let out a small laugh. He couldn't mock Jungkook because he sometimes felt the same way.
He paused at the door. “Go ahead. I'll handle it. Thanks.”
But he didn't leave because the omega's cheeks were red from fever. He carried him upstairs to the spacious bedroom with high ceilings and red velvet curtains. He laid the omega down on the bed, which could fit five people. The room was filled with the strong scent of the Alpha, startling Jimin a little. Still, he stood by his head for a while. When Taehyung curled up in the fetal position and started crying again, he said, “How alone I am… Do you see?”
“You're not alone. Where did you get that idea?”
“No, I am. I'm surrounded by people, but I'm so lonely. No one really sees me, except Jungkook. But he doesn't want me anymore…” He sobbed and buried his face in the dark pillow. Jimin never thought he would feel sorry for him, but he did; his heart ached for him. He continued. “It's always been like this… It's always been this way…. I treated everyone badly because I had an alpha I could lean on. I trusted his love. But I treated him badly, too. He'll stop loving me, too. Even my mother doesn't love me!”
“What?” He said a little loudly. His reaction was justified because Rina-shi valued his son greatly.
“She loves you more... She talks about you all the time…” He suddenly turned his face and glared at him. “Jimin this, Jimin that! She hates me because I'm not a worthy son. I'm sure she's thinking, 'I wish Jimin were my son’” He said, starting to cry again. The omega standing there froze.
Had he made him feel this way? Was that why he had always been aggressive toward Jimin? Was this a defense mechanism?
At that moment, he looked uncertainly from side to side and saw Jungkook standing at the door. He must have heard everything. The smell of the box of cookies he was holding spread throughout the room. Taehyung frowned and turned his gaze to the door. There was a brief exchange of glances between them. Jimin knew he had no business being there anymore. “I should go now. Goodbye, Taehyung.” He said, walking toward the exit. Jungkook looked at him sincerely. “Thank you for being here and taking care of him, Jimin hyung.”
Jimin's heart warmed when Jungkook called him hyung for the first time. He said, “Take good care of him. I think he's going into heat...”
After closing the door and going downstairs, Jimin headed to the club to meet Yuri. Even though he said he couldn't go without him, Jimin didn't want to be alone; he had a lot to think about.
Meanwhile, Jungkook placed the warm cookies he was holding on the walnut sideboard. “Taehyung…” He said softly as he sat on his side of the bed and pulled his omega into his lap. “I brought you cookies. They look perfect, and they taste delicious too.” Taehyung was slim, and Jungkook could easily lift him. He climbed into his lap without any resistance and rested his head against his alpha's chest. Jungkook had heard all of Taehyung's fears and felt deeply sorry for making him feel that way.
“It’s too late. I won't go.”
“Then we’ll eat them…” Jungkook replied without hesitation.
Taehyung sniffled. “I thought you were leaving me, abandoning me.”
“Even if the whole world opposes it, I won't stop loving you for a moment…” He said, tucking his hair behind his ear and kissing his temple. “I was just going to get some cookies.”
Taehyung snuggled closer to him. “I can't find another alpha…” He said. “No one loves me like you do.”
“I know. That's why that sentence came out so easily.”
“Don't say it again. You hurt me so much.”
Jungkook's eyes filled with tears. “I'm so sorry, my angel. I'll do anything to make you forgive me. I got so angry all of a sudden that I couldn't control myself.” He brushed his warm lips against Taehyung's. “Please forgive me… I was so rude.”
“You're such a good alpha. You'd do anything to make me happy. I was too hard on you.”
“Shh, don't cry. Please don't cry, Taehyung.” His burning skin consumed him, and the words he had just spoken wouldn't leave his mind. But he could only distract himself with his heat. “You'll never be alone because I'll never leave you until I die.”
*****
Jimin left the house with a bag of sweets and headed straight for the association, ready to patch things up. He was saddened, however, to learn that almost all of the omegas had gathered at Threadnest that day. Only two betas remained at the association, transcribing the records. Jimin thanked them for their hard work and offered them some chocolate snacks. Then, he left. Assuming that Yuri was at the meeting, Jimin climbed the stone stairs and found what he was looking for shortly after. Although he felt uneasy about coming to Threadnest without Taehyung, he didn't want to go home either.
“Jimin, you're finally here...” Shee looked over Jimin's shoulder. “Where's Taehyung?”
Jimin took off his shoes and entered a wooden hall with a glass ceiling while holding an omega in his hand. “He... I'm afraid he can't come.”
“Why? What happened?” Yuri hugged him briefly, looking worried.
Jimin lowered his voice. “I think he's going into heat...” He didn't mention their arguments. “He apologized for not being able to come. He also sent some of these sweets.” For some reason, he felt an urge to protect him.
“Wow, the Min family's omegas came with kilos of chocolate snacks! There's more than enough for everyone!”
“We were trying to figure out who bought the ones at the market. Of course, it was the Min family.” As the Omegas laughed, Jimin felt embarrassed and sat down on an empty cushion. “Enjoy your meal...”
“Did you hear that Taehyung is in heat? That's why he couldn't come today.” Jimin whispered this to Yuri, but it was clear that news traveled fast here. “Isn't that right, Jiminshi?”
“Yes, I was just with him. He was upset about not being able to come and wished you all a good time.”
“I'm sure he did…” said one of them.
The other chuckled. “We've never had an omega meeting without him before. We miss that snobby omega so much!” They all laughed in unison. Jimin wondered if they would talk like this if Taehyung were there. He was a bit annoyed. People loved to talk about things they couldn't have.
“This is going to be a great meeting, isn't it?”
“Well, Jimin… We hear you're getting a lot of flak, too. Tell us something about Taehyung.” Jimin finally opened his mouth, glancing at the blonde omega sitting next to him. “Do you want me to tell you something about him? Sure, I could start by saying that he’s much more than you think and see. Hm? Should I tell you that he knows you omegas talk behind his back and smile to his face? Neither Taehyung nor I are stupid. Whether or not we get along is none of your business. Why don't you find a more useful topic to talk about?”
When he fell silent, he noticed Yuri on the opposite couch, looking at him proudly. The other omegas fell silent and turned red. He reached out and took a sip of orange tea. Taehyung was like a blossoming flower, opening up a little more each time and revealing his inner self. Jimin didn't want to miss this chance to get to know him just to gossip with the other omegas. Having been in many omega environments throughout his life, he had been the focus of many terrible rumors. He knew that no one could harm him as much as he could harm himself. Someone who spoke badly of or mocked others was only trying to satisfy their own shortcomings through them.
Of course, Taehyung had his flaws, but he knew that Jimin would choose him over all the other omegas. Especially after seeing him get hurt today. Everyone saw his shiny armor but not the sensitive skin beneath it. Taehyung was bleeding, and Jungkook was constantly healing his wounds.
Hoseok, who had come up beside Jimin without him noticing, chuckled. “Now that you've gotten your comeuppance, you won't ask Jimin about his beloved brother again. They're family, after all. How naive of you.”
Jimin looked at him and smiled slightly. The two of them started talking. Yuri watched them proudly from a distance. She hadn't misjudged Jimin at all; this omega had successfully overcome every obstacle in his path. He was a wonderful partner for Yoongi. He was just as sensitive and well-meaning as Yoongi but never showy.
A few hours later, one of the association's speakers stepped forward and gathered everyone in the garden. They announced a decision made by the association and the pack leaders, and everyone listened eagerly. Jimin was among the crowd. It seemed that what Jin had said was true. They were talking about Omegas and Betas finally taking a step to defend themselves. The omegas and betas would be divided into specific groups and receive basic self-defense training from certain instructors. When Rinasshi finished his speech, the crowd cheered and embraced each other excitedly. Different voices rose from the crowd.
“I can't believe it! We'll be able to hold a sword, too!”
“I want to learn how to shoot an arrow!”
“This is a first for Arashi, and I'm so lucky to be part of this pack!”
“Our association is working hard for omega equality!”
Jimin smiled broadly as Rinasshi approached him, and they exchanged brief greetings. “What do you think of our decision?”
“This is wonderful news, Rinasshi. I'm really happy...”
“You should definitely join the defense training. In fact, we'll gather at the association square shortly to tell everyone about it. You should be there. Maybe you can show us a thing or two.”
“Me?” He hesitated, but agreed. He had to be there. “I'll definitely come.”
Many thoughts swirled in his head. Yoongi was busy, so he should participate in the training to learn how to defend himself properly. Yoongi would be happy to hear that, too. Even when he was weak and frail, he had learned how to sharpen knives, make sharp arrows, and shoot them. However, defending himself directly against an alpha was something he couldn't handle; he usually ran away. As a wolf, he could run as fast as a fox and disappear with his small body, but that night in the forest when they found and beat him, he couldn't run away. The wolf had told him that the time had come and the search was over. Then, he called out, ‘Yoonie’ and reunited with his soulmate.
Two hours later, as night fell, a crowd of people, young and old, gathered in the guild square. Some of the alphas were trainee instructors, while others were curious about how omegas could fight. This decision caused ripples in the community, with some alphas disapproving and others supporting it.
Seokjin stepped forward with a bow and arrow in hand. Another Alpha brought the target board. “In our first lessons, we will focus on archery and stances. Later, we plan to teach combat and the use of weapons, such as swords and knives. We will start with the specific movements I will demonstrate shortly. This training will continue for several months. To register, simply write your name on the board on the right. If your alphas do not give permission, remember that we will talk to them individually. This is about your self-defense. If we need to, we will remind them that no one has the right to interfere with your physical safety. This is a dangerous world, and omegas and betas are the first to die because they don't know how to protect themselves.” Seokjin looked around. “As Alphas, you must keep this in mind. You know what I've been through, and I'm sure you don't want to experience it either. So please don't make things difficult and cooperate with us.”
When a supportive round of applause broke out, Jimin felt a tingle inside. He had given an amazing speech! Before he could process what was happening, Seokjin called him over. Jimin handed what he was holding to Yuri and stepped forward, feeling nervous. “You know Min Jimin. He joined our group from outside, and in a short time, he became someone we all loved and trusted. His will to live is so strong that his story has inspired us all. As a lone omega, he joined many packs and survived in the wild because he knew some self-defense moves.”
Jimin nodded hesitantly and said, “Yes, hyung. The fact that omegas don't know how to defend themselves is a critical issue. I've mentioned it several times at the association. Knowing that my suggestions were considered made me very happy.”
“Show us your skills!” A voice rang out from the crowd.
Jimin lifted his head. It had been months since he last shot an arrow or sharpened his knife. He couldn’t remember anything anymore. Even with Lucas around, he hadn’t been able to protect himself. Panic took hold of his entire body.
“How we stand when using a bow is very important.” When Seokjin handed the bow and arrow to Jimin, he gripped the arrow for the first time in years and was transported back to the past. Despite his sweaty palms and tension, he could do it. Everyone was watching him, but it didn't matter. There was a greater purpose at the end of it all. Besides, he wanted to be able to defend himself and the alphas.
After slinging the quiver over his back, he loaded an arrow into the bow. Seokjin kept talking nonstop, and his presence gave Jimin a sense of security. As his tension eased, Jimin aimed the arrow at the target. Seokjin moved behind him and asked quietly in his ear, “Is it okay if I touch you?”
Jimin nodded, and Seokjin gently held his back, pushing him forward to make him stand straighter. Then, Seokjin reached for his hand. “You need to hold it tighter. Imagine an enemy is waiting across from you. How should you act toward them? Confident or insecure?”
“Confident.” Jimin said quietly. “Exactly.” He said approvingly, sliding his finger over the omega's fingers to show him how to hold the bow. Then he said, “Like this.”
When he fired the first arrow, it flew to the right of the target and fell to the ground. “Still, you did very well.” Jin praised him. “Let's try again. Are you watching carefully?”
Jimin was determined to succeed this time. As he concentrated on trying again, he thought he saw a pair of red fox eyes watching him from the crowd. Yoongi's scent filled his nostrils. When his attention wandered, Seokjin lightly touched his waist. At that moment, Jimin jumped up in fear and pain.
Damn it! He flinched because his flowers had been touched. The flowers reacted this way to anyone except one person. That person was Yoongi, of course. He swallowed as people looked at him suspiciously. But how could he explain this now? What could he say? As he picked up the arrow that had fallen from his hand, strange whispers rose from the crowd. Then, all fell silent, and he heard a familiar voice behind him.
“That's enough, Alpha Seokjin.”
It was his soulmate .
Seokjin took a step back as Yoongi bent down and reached out his hand to Jimin. He lifted Jimin up and gripped his waist tightly, as if to claim him. Just as a soulmate would protect his flowers... “Jimin has helped you enough. From here on out, continue with someone else; we need to go. Isn't that right, Jimin?”
Jimin nodded hesitantly. Yoongi was jealous of him for the first time. His eyes were slightly reddened, and Jimin was completely taken aback. The wolf had knelt in obedience and blamed Jimin. ‘How could you let someone else touch your flowers?’
Rina interrupted, sounding annoyed. “He needs to learn to defend himself, Yoongi.” She said. “You can't stop him from doing that.”
Yoongi turned to her and replied sarcastically, “Who said he won't learn? I'll teach him as his alpha, and I'll do so in the best way possible.” He then turned to Jin with a darkening gaze. “Do you have any objections to this?”
“Of course not. Jimin learns very quickly. I'm sure you'll teach him well.”
Yoongi nodded once, took Yuri's bag, and pulled him along. “Let's go.” Together, they pushed through the crowd and left the club amid everyone's whispers.
Jimin didn't understand what was happening, but he had an idea. They were soulmates, and someone else touching his "flower" had pushed Yoongi to the point of being unaware of Jimin's presence. That's why he reacted that way. Now, he was probably thinking about it and feeling ashamed.
But Jimin couldn't help but feel guilty. When someone else touched his flower, it hurt him. He flinched and was overcome with fear. He should have been more careful. The hand around his waist was still there, and the flowers chirped with the feeling of being protected. They continued walking for a few minutes, both biting their lips and remaining silent until they arrived home.
Just as they were about to enter, Jimin stopped in front of the cherry tree in front of their house. “Um, Yoongi...”
Yoongi turned to him, not letting go for a moment as if he might slip away. “Yes?”
“Did I upset you? My only intention today was to help Jin. I couldn't refuse when he called me. Besides, what they did was very kind…”
“Why would you upset me?” He said, continuing to look at Jimin intently, making him feel completely exposed. “You just looked like you were in a difficult situation. When Seokjin touched the flowers, I felt like I had to intervene.”
‘Of course you would’
“Thank you. I'll be more careful next time.”
“You won't be left alone in that situation again.” He loosened his grip on her waist and sighed. “I wish you had told me that you wanted to learn how to use a bow. I’m right here? Relying on other alphas? I don't like it.”
Jimin blushed and lowered his head. He was furious about this possessiveness. “You're already overwhelmed with work, and now you're going to deal with me, too? Besides, this is all very new. I didn't have time to tell you.”
Yoongi shrugged and fixed his gaze on a corner. “This is a matter of priority. You're my mate, which means you're my priority.” Then he looked at him. “Right?”
Jimin felt like he was about to explode from all these kind words and blushed, saying, “Yoongi… What are you saying?”
“Did I embarrass you?” Unexpectedly, the alpha's warm finger touched his chin, and they locked eyes again. “Hm?”
“You're so... Protective and different today…” He said honestly. ‘I wish you were always like this. Then I wouldn't be able to get angry with you at all.’
“I'm trying to be an alpha worthy of you.”
‘Or maybe you got jealous when you saw me like that in the square and your alpha took control.’
When he pressed his lips together and turned away, Yoongi gently pushed him from behind. “Let's go inside.”
“The weather was so nice today.”
“Yes, it was. The kids didn't feel like training, so I let them play in the garden.”
Jimin chuckled. He loved watching him with his students, but Yoongi didn't like it very much. He was a completely different person there. “I went to Threadnest today.”
Yoongi opened the door for Jimin and waited for him to enter.
“What's Threadnest?”
“It's where the Omegas gather. They meet monthly. Taehyung invited me today.”
“Ah, you mean the country house. I didn't know it was called that.”
Jimin was worried, wondering if he had revealed a secret code to the Alphas. “Can you pretend you didn't hear that? Maybe it's something the Alphas shouldn't know...”
Yoongi threw his head back and laughed. Then he closed the door. He took off his brown leather clothes and began to untie the strings on the leather arm guard around his arm. “Alright.”
*****
That evening was undoubtedly one of the most special that Jimin had spent with Yoongi. They were both happy and content, neither of them making snide remarks nor giving each other the cold shoulder. It was like returning to normal after a long hiatus, and Jimin was grateful for it. After revealing his secret, Jimin thought Yoongi would never forgive him.
If only the whole situation were that simple. Jimin would even set aside the idea of being soulmates for that. If only the flowers were truly unowned, then everything would be easier.
After preparing and eating dinner together, the two of them sat by the fireplace on cushions, sipping hot tea and chatting playfully, eager to get to know each other better. Being married was a wonderful reason for that.
Yoongi chuckled occasionally as he recounted how he used to avoid bathing as a child. Jimin listened intently, occasionally drifting off to admire Yoongi's beauty. Whenever those lost gazes turned toward Jimin, they shone as if he had returned home. Jimin was glad that Yoongi had good memories of his childhood, as well as bad ones. He was willing to listen for a long time because his own childhood wasn't really worth listening to.
A few minutes later, the conversation turned to the wooden fox that Jimin had placed on the mantelpiece. Yoongi said, “When I was little, all the other kids' fathers would carve figures like that for them, but mine never bothered. I thought he was clumsy and was ashamed of my father...” He smiled. “But when Jungkook was born, he carved beautiful things for him. I should thank him, though, because thanks to him, I learned to carve my own toys, and that made me a good craftsman.”
“Something good can come out of every bad thing…” Jimin added. “You never showed me what you carved.”
“Most of them are at my family's house, but I'll show you someday.” He reached for the fox, which had wear and tear on its back and feet. “It's pretty old, so it needs a good repair.”
When the conversation turned to today's meeting, Jimin dozed off. The faint light and crackling of the fire lulled him to sleep. “Everyone found out that you finished the chocolate balls at the market. I didn't know how to explain it.”
“I see.”
“Yes, that's why I brought some to the meeting. They were happy.”
“I bought them for my omega. Did you give them to other people?”
Jimin blushed instantly and covered his face with his hand. “There was nothing else to take.”
“Is there any left?”
“I set some aside. Do you want me to bring them?” Just as he was about to stand up, he reached out and held his wrist. “No, they're for you. Sit down.”
Jimin sat down, too, stretching his legs out to Yoongi's right again. Yoongi leaned back with his legs crossed. They were less than a meter apart. They looked at each other for a long time. Yoongi's eyes were as bright as when he grabbed Jimin in the square earlier that day. They were warm and trusting, like a happy fox's.
Jimin wanted to cover his entire face with kisses. Especially his eyes…
If only nothing had stopped him! If only Yoongi had said he could touch him! He would have climbed into his lap without hesitation. In a relationship, though, when only one person is deeply in love, it feels like a burden no matter what. Did they always have to be in heat to touch each other? It was unbearable.
As he thought about this, Yoongi's pheromones intensified without his noticing. Jimin realized this a moment later and swallowed hard. The scent caused the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end, and he found it very difficult to stay calm. “I heard Taehyung finally got in heat...”
“Yes…” He said gratefully, having brought up the subject. “I was with him today. Actually, it was obvious from his demeanor. He had argued with Jungkook a bit.”
His eyebrows raised. “Really?”
Damn it! He had promised not to tell anyone, but Yoongi wasn't just anyone. “Yes, I was caught in the middle of the argument, but luckily, it wasn't serious. Jungkook is such a good alpha. He didn't care about anything his omega said.”
“Are you throwing shade at me?” He asked mischievously. His hand, resting beside him, brushed against Jimin’s small foot. The contact urged him to do more.
“No!” The omega said immediately.
“Do I count as a good alpha in your eyes?”
“Yes, you are…” He chuckled. “You're the best for me.”
“That's nice to hear.”
I wish he would reciprocate... Jimin thought, step by step. Everything was in order.
A little while later, Jimin was thoroughly exhausted and began to doze off. So, Yoongi stopped reading the papers in his hand and got up. Rather than waking Jimin, he extinguished the fire, picked him up, and carried him to their room. When Jimin's back touched the soft bed, he woke up, but he didn't show it. Instead, he retreated into the innocence of sleep, slipping his fingers into the collar of his alpha's shirt. “Don't go...”
“I'm here…” Yoongi quickly changed his clothes, seemingly unable to bear being away from Jimin. He immediately climbed into their warm bed, pulled Jimin close with a strong grip, and slipped his arm under Jimin's waist before he could snuggle up to him. “Goodnight…” He said hoarsely. Jimin's mind went blank.
“Goodnight, Yoongi.”
He touched his nose to his golden hair and inhaled his beautiful scent, which made his heart ache. He wanted to pull him closer, closer still. He didn't think about it; he just listened to his instincts. When he remembered today that someone else had touched his omega's flowers and that the entire pack was examining him with interested eyes, his jaw tightened and his eyes nearly rolled back in his head. He had barely managed to control himself, somehow getting through it, but he didn't think he could stop his wolf if he ever faced something like that again.
“I can’t breathe...” Hearing Jimin whimper, he realized he was holding the omega too tightly and immediately let go. Yoongi was about to bury his face in the sand out of embarrassment when Jimin giggled, buried his face in Yoongi's chest, and said, “I tricked you.”
“You're such a troublemaker…” He chuckled. For the past two days, the two of them had been experiencing something they couldn’t name, and neither of them intended to give it a name. Yoongi had always been controlled and anxious, but Jimin was his pause and breath. That’s why he wouldn't ruin the magical moment. If Jimin was happy and willing, Yoongi would get closer to him.
As he opened his mouth to speak, Jimin's steady breathing caught his attention. Yoongi decided to intensify his pheromones and cover Jimin with his scent. He would do so generously until morning, until not a single particle of Jimin remained that didn't smell like him.
Two days later, they had ramen with boiled eggs for breakfast and prepared it together this time. Jimin did the easy tasks, like boiling the eggs, while Yoongi tried out his special recipe. Later, the alpha delivered the unpleasant news.
“Tonight, we'll gather with the leaders of the pack and visit the Jung pack. One of the alphas is seriously ill and Jungkook's omega is in heat, so Namjoon invited me. My father has been handling these matters for a while, so I'm not expecting anything pleasant.”
“Can't you just not go?” He asked sadly. Dohyun, the alpha, was always upsetting his mate, and the farther away he was from him, the better.
Yoongi shrugged with a sigh. “I can handle it. It's good experience for me. I have many friends in the Jung pack, so I'll get to see them, too.”
‘But you're leaving me behind...’
The alpha continued. “The Jung pack is one of the packs we need to make an alliance agreement with. We need to maintain good relations with them. Order can break down very quickly in Arashi. We must always be prepared for war.” Yoongi chewed his egg and leaned back. “So, it seems like I have no choice but to go.”
“War?” Jimin choked on his bite and froze. “That can't happen.”
“I hope stability is maintained in Arashi, but you never know.” He realized he had been foolish when he saw the fear in his omega's eyes and tried to correct himself. “But don't worry. No one has the power to touch the Kim pack.”
“I feel better now…” Jimin said. After a few minutes of silence, he continued. “I wish we had known earlier. I would have prepared something for you.”
“Like what?” He asked, raising his eyebrows and smiling.
“I don't know. Whatever I could.”
“It’s a bit sudden, but there’s nothing we can do. I'll be back soon. You can call my sister and stay with her. Don't stay alone.”
He nodded vaguely, tired from losing him again after finally finding him. He had to hold on to the two beautiful moments they had shared. “I hope it goes smoothly.”
They couldn't think of anything else to talk about at breakfast. In fact, the opposite was true. They both wanted to say something, but they were afraid. They were so fragile. Finally, Yoongi got ready to leave. He put on his light hunting clothes and draped his gray, fur-lined cloak over them. As he paused at the door, he glanced at Jimin. “Well? Aren't you going to give me a good luck charm?”
Jimin immediately ran inside and searched the drawers, grateful that he had made a few of them. He returned with a small beaded charm and was happy that no one had seen it. They weren't doing this for anyone else. It wasn't part of the game or a rehearsed scene. After attaching the charm to his undershirt, Yoongi thanked him. However, he didn't move forward. He just stood there, his jaw tightening as the alpha pheromones emanating from him grew slightly stronger. His omega smelled just like him after last night’s pheromone bath. It was unbearable. He wanted to mark him so badly.
Instead, he reached into his pocket, looked at Jimin one last time, and reluctantly left the house…
Chapter 23: Limerence
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
22. " From now on, all your things belong to me. Your flowers are mine, too. Right from the beginning.
During alliance meetings, which occurred a few times a year at most among the packs, alphas generally preferred not to transform. This behavior was considered more typical of primitive and wild wolves. For some reason, however, Yoongi really wanted to transform this time. The idea of riding on the back of a horse for hundreds of kilometers made him feel extremely uncomfortable and restless.
They had arrived at the wide meadows where the horses were kept. There were a few wooden stables to keep the horses warm in the winter. As he looked around, he saw the team going to Jung's pack mount their horses one by one. Dohyun, standing directly behind him, approached with a mocking tone . “ Why are you acting like you've never seen a horse before? Are you still afraid of them? ”
He spoke in a mocking tone because they shared memories about this subject. For example, there was the time Dohyun had tried to get him to ride a horse for the first time .. . What a humiliating day that had been! Yoongi was terrified by the horse’s seemingly bottomless, pitch-black eyes. He perceived the horse as a threat and hid behind the alpha tending to the horses. But he couldn’t escape riding it. By the end of the day, he had fallen off the horse three times and badly injured his joints. His father found solace in pushing him harder each time he failed. Even years later, he mocked his son whenever the topic came up.
“ Foxes don't get along well with horses …” H is father said angrily. “ Just like you …”
Horses were mystical creatures, much like foxes. Perhaps that was why Yoongi saw the horse not as a mount, but as a rival. He didn’t know the answer. He clenched his jaw, glanced at his father, and stepped into the stirrups. He bravely climbed onto the horse’s back and sat on the soft leather saddle. His gaze was fixed straight ahead, and his dark cloak fluttered in the strong wind.
“ If everyone is ready, let's set off! ” Namjoon commanded.
“ The valuable items to be taken to Jung's herd have arrived. We're ready, Alpha Kim. We'll be ready in five minutes. ”
It had been years since he had embarked on long journeys with his father. He hated being forced to do this, but he couldn't push his younger brother. Especially since his leg had just healed, and he said he wanted to stay away from this work for a while.
Still, he wished he could be with his omega now, in their warm bed …
When he thought about it, he furrowed his brows. What was happening to him? Why did he feel so attached to him? It was as if a string were pulling him toward the omega. Confused, he remembered what he had done. After making sure no one was watching, he quietly reached into the wide pocket of his cloak and grabbed the soft, tattered piece of fabric inside.
Just touching it seemed to awaken something in his groin. Damn it! He was ashamed of what he was doing, but he hadn't thought logically when he put it in his pocket.
It was the brown shirt Jimin had worn during his heat. It was in such a state that it couldn't be worn anymore. It had once belonged to him, but Jimin claimed it as his own during his heat. He marked every part of it with his scent, left a piece of himself there, and finally threw it away without a second thought. It was hard to believe. Yoongi couldn't bear the thought of a garment filled with his pheromones ending up in someone else's hands. He immediately reached into the large trash bin and retrieved the shirt.
Of course, Jimin didn’t know this. That was the embarrassing part. Who knows what he would think if he found out? Yoongi thought he was acting like a primitive beast. Or a pervert.
But here it was now. In his pocket, in the safest place. Touching it and feeling its soft texture felt good; it soothed his inner beast. He thought of Jimin's trembling, silky skin; his full hips; and how violently Jimin had come for him.
“Damn it…” He said through clenched teeth, pulling his hand out of his pocket. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to continue on the road with that thing moving under his pants.
Nothing like this had ever happened to him before, not even when he was a young alpha. Even then, he had found time to retreat to the hunting cabin. He would chain himself to the wall by the wrist and tell Jungkook to come get him in two days.
It had been years since he’d entered such a deep rut. Like everything else, he’d grown bitter toward life. But it seemed Jimin had sworn to end their bitterness.
Perhaps he was doing him a favor. Maybe the key to solving his problems was accepting the dark side of his personality that had been following him like a shadow … T he other identity he’d been running from his whole life …
“ Let's get going …” Namjoon said loudly, taking the reins and glancing at the alpha, who stared blankly at the ground with a scattered expression as Yoongi passed by. “ Everyone ready? ”
“ Let's go, Alpha Kim. ”
“ Alright then. ” As he reined in the horse, it neighed and accelerated. The ten riders set off in single file through the back exit of the compound. Yoongi looked among the omegas waving goodbye as if he might spot his omega. Of course, Jimin wasn't there.
After seeing the flowers, he knew things with Omega would never be the same again. His prediction was accurate. Their relationship was even better than before. It seemed unbelievable, but it had happened. Yoongi had accepted his fate and surrendered to Jimin's arms. Jimin loved him and wouldn't question anything else.
He protected those flowers as if they were his own. They were ownerless anyway. He could gladly take on the responsibility of caring for them.
W hen he reined in the horse, it sped up. The harsh wind hit his face, caressing his skin, and his long hair flew in the wind.
“ You're too distracted today, Min. Is everything okay at home? ” The leader slowed down beside him.
“ Yes, Leader Kim. ”
“ I heard something yesterday in the square. You almost fought Seokjin because he touched your omega. ”
“Everyone should know their limits…” He said distantly. He didn't want to talk about Jimin with anyone right now. Ideally, he wouldn't talk about it at all.
“ Don't do that. He i s Seokjin …” Namjoon said in surprise. “ There shouldn't be unnecessary distance between you two. Jimin gets along very well with that alpha. They'll do great things together. ”
“ He can do those things with me. ”
When he turned his gaze sharply to the side and lingered on the leader, his scent intensified involuntarily as if he were being threatened. He didn’t like being questioned.
“ Well, it's clear your anger hasn't subsided. But let me remind you, your attitude could be misinterpreted where we're going. Leave your personal life behind in the district. ”
“Or should I go back to the district, Leader Kim?” He said mockingly. “That would suit me better. What do you think?”
“ But it doesn't suit me. We're already two people short. We'll need you and your strong connections. ”
“ Then let's get going and do our job .” H e said, speeding up to create some distance between them. They passed through snowy and muddy paths as well as narrow and long slopes. The journey would take about two days. Jung pack was behind a small mountain known as the Castle. By evening, they would camp at the foot of the mountain near the Ume Waterfall. Once they arrived, they would have to stay there for a few days. That meant being away from Jimin for at least four days.
He wished he had warned Jimin more carefully. He hoped he wouldn't be alone. He had insisted that he call Yuri. His mind was still on Jimin.
The first part of the journey passed this way, filled with anxiety and intense thoughts. Until it was time to stop for a break, he rode at full speed at the front of the group without speaking to anyone.
When they arrived at the cave behind the waterfall—shaded from the sun and inaccessible even to snow—the first thing Yoongi did was find a secluded spot away from the others. He wasn’t usually unsociable, but his behavior was currently being driven more by the wolf within him, which had caught the leader’s attention. However, the leader did nothing more than watch him from a distance, leaving the grumpy alpha alone. The leader thought that Yoongi wasn’t approaching them because of his issues with his father, which were the source of his restlessness.
“ Don’t you want some steak? ”
“ No .” H e said gruffly to Hunso, who was sitting by the fire about ten meters away.
“ But it's very tasty. Aren't you hungry? ”
He was hungry… Very hungry… He wasted time sharpening the tip of his cursed arrow; the laughter behind him irritated his ears. He didn’t like the sound. Thanks to his skills, he lit his own fire a few minutes later. In front of the others, he used his sharpened senses to catch two water frogs and began to roast them over the fire.
When Dohyun’s laughter reached his ears, he clenched his teeth. His father had drunk all the soju from the leather flask he had brought with him, and now he was drunk.
“ We'll set off early tomorrow, so we should go to bed .” S aid the leader.
“ Yoongi, are you staying there? ”
“ I’ll keep watch. ”
“I don’t think anything will happen.”
“ I said I'll keep watch .” H e insisted stubbornly. His protective instincts were at their peak. He had to protect something. Most of all, he had to protect himself. To return safely to his omega.
“ All right, it's your call. ” When the Alpha disappeared from sight and the others retreated to the cave to sleep, Yoongi, certain he was alone, could no longer resist his burning desire and transformed into a wolf, hoping to find peace.
He rubbed the tip of his wet nose against the grass in front of him, leaving his scent behind. Then he stretched his large paws over each other and let out a soft, animalistic growl. He closed his eyes. His mottled red and brown fur, which betrayed his mixed heritage, shone even in the darkness.
When morning came and the sun rose, he woke up before anyone else because he had kept one ear and one eye open all night. He immediately transformed back into his old form, and even Yoongi was surprised at how easy and quick it was. The wolf usually didn't like to give up its place to him. Shocked, he quickly got dressed and went to wake the others.
He had survived one night. Three more nights remained without his omega. Three long nights …
*****
While Yoongi struggled to control his wolf and his wild urges, Jimin was left to battle his loneliness within four walls. The last time he was left alone, his Alpha had gone into the forest for just one night and Jimin's heat had flared up. He couldn't remember much of that time, but this time the feelings were so strong they were tearing him apart.
Being away from his alpha was awful; it was as if he were dying far away and there was nothing Jimin could do about it. It was reminiscent of the twenty years he had spent apart from him before they were reunited. He had thought he would never have to feel this way again.
A feeling of emptiness; a soul left unfinished … Incomplete …
When would Yoongi complete him? He didn't want to feel incomplete anymore. Or at least if the marks were finished …
As the flowers dripped, he sighed with frustration. It was still early; he could sleep and let his longing drift off. But he couldn't sleep. He needed something to distract him. If he thought about it, he would go mad.
Yoongi was treating him better than ever. Yoongi was growing closer to him … Yoongi had forgiven him … Or had he finally recognised him? Perhaps this was how things were meant to be in order for them to improve. They had suffered, their relationship had been tested, and one morning, Yoongi would realise that he was his soulmate.
He didn’t regret anything he had done. Everything had turned out as it should have.
To pass the time, Jimin spent the rest of the day redecorating the house. Thankfully, Taehyung had suggested the idea to him, because the change of scenery was good for his soul. No matter how difficult it was, focusing on other things instead of thinking about his alpha cleared the clouds from his mind one by one. He gathered the woven rugs, took down the carpets that had been bought with Yuri but never used from the attic, replaced the handmade paintings on the walls with new ones and rearranged the furniture for greater comfort. It was impressive that he had done everything on his own, but then again, Jimin was an omega who did everything on his own.
This wasn’t the first time he had organised and beautified a home but this time this was his own nest. Doing things he had once done out of necessity when they got married, but now doing them willingly and with conviction, felt so good. In the early days, he had felt like a temporary guest and an outsider in this house, but now he knew it belonged to him.
This was his warm, safe nest …
As the snow began to fall again outside, Jimin took a break, feeling tired. Sipping his cinnamon tea, he looked at the page where he had been sketching and doodling. He had scribbled as much as he could and written down what he had learnt about where to place things. He wanted a more comfortable living space than before. For example, the moss-green sofa should be by the window so that the room would be brighter with the other window open. The small, dark wooden cabinet with glass doors, which held the dinnerware, should be fixed to the wall. The area in front of the fireplace needed to be made more functional. He could create a soft, cushioned area where he and Yoongi could sleep. To do that, he would need to go out and buy some new cushions.
He was beginning to think he couldn't handle it when the doorbell rang and Yuri appeared on the doorstep. Seeing her brought him a huge sense of relief, as the decorating project he had suddenly embarked on had already become too much for him. Seeing him drenched in sweat, Yuri rushed inside. “ Jimin, what happened to you? ” Upon seeing the mess around him, she put her hand to her mouth. “ Did a war break out here? ”
Jimin closed the door behind him and caught his breath. “ Does it look that bad? I can't get out of this. I'm glad you came, noona. ”
Seeing her was like finding an oasis in the desert. Due to the chaos he had experienced for days, Jimin hadn't spent any time with her and had, in a way, been avoiding her sceptical glances and questions. Since he didn't know how Yoongi felt, he couldn't be sure of his own feelings. On the other hand, Yuri, being someone with strong feelings, had sensed the rift between Yoongi and Jimin and had taken a step back, and her instincts had been proven right. After talking to Yoongi, she had once again sought ways to get closer to the omega. There was no doubt that she wanted to be closer to him than before. The fact that he was an omega who loved his brother so much was enough for her to feel close to him.
“ Where did this renewal business come from? Are you confused about what to do now that Yoongi is gone? ” Jimin leaned back in his chair and sighed. “ Is it that obvious that I'm going crazy? ”
They both chuckled. “ Let me help you, then …” Yuri continued. “ I don't have anything better to do anyway. Yoongi sent me here to stay with you. ”
Jimin said sheepishly, “ If you don't want to stay here, you can leave. I won't tell Yoongi...” But Yuri frowned. “ It's better than staying at home with my mum anyway! What do you think? I'm dying to sit by the fire with you and talk all night over some wine. ”
“Wine?”
Yuri took a small glass bottle out of his leather bag. It contained an old wine that she had stolen from her father's liquor cabinet. “If we don't tell anyone, no one will know…” She said.
“ But it’s …”
“ It's my father's …” She chuckled. “ He's not the only one who knows what he likes, after all... ” After placing the wine bottle on the counter, she turned around. “ Let’s get this done quickly so we can drink it. ”
Jimin smiled contentedly, having once again closed the distance between them. Everything was falling into place. Finally. He was tearing down all the walls surrounding him and discovering the beauty of life. Love … Intimacy … Sincerity and warmth … Life felt like home …
“ Then let's liven up this corner a bit. I was thinking of putting some flowers in the sunny spot. What about geraniums that bloom all year round?”
“ Great idea! If you like, I'll give you one of my paintings to hang on the wall. You saw the ones with tree prints once and loved them, remember?”
Jimin’s eyes widened. He had fallen in love with the beauty and elegance of the paintings that covered the walls of the mansion’s corridors, and he envied Yuri’s talent. “Are you serious?”
“Of course. Maybe one day I’ll teach you how to do woodblock printing.”
“ I don't understand things that require manual dexterity …” H e said sheepishly. “ You must have noticed from my cooking. ”
Only his mate liked his cooking … That was enough, but he still feared poisoning him. He needed to improve.
“Oh, stop being silly! No one is born knowing how to cook. You'll learn, of course... Yoongi will teach you. ” She smiled meaningfully. “ My brother loves spending time in the kitchen. He’s not like the other alphas. When he was little, he’d run off to help Junhee cook. He’s so unique. You’re lucky. ”
“ Yes, I am …” H e replied honestly. “ When we met, he fed me and the food he made was the best I had ever eaten. Plus, no one had ever given me food for free before.”
Y uri's lips curled downwards. Suddenly, she moved and said, “My dear...” She reached out and embraced Jimin's delicate body. “ Life has always treated you badly, but from now on, it will only treat you well and repay its debt to you. ”
Jimin hesitated, not knowing whether to wrap his arms around Yuri's waist. He had been raised to avoid close contact because he was considered dirty and unclean; he couldn't even imagine touching someone of noble birth. Even though he now had a completely different life and status, it wasn't easy to erase what had been imposed on him. Yuri seemed to understand. She took his wrist and wrapped it around her waist, embracing the omega. They shared a touching moment. Then, as if nothing had happened, they parted and got to work.
After two hours, they had made more progress than the omega could have made alone, and they had changed the layout of the house. They had even renovated the small upstairs attic and attic room, and cleaned the wooden balcony. It was Yuri's idea. He said that when summer came, the view from there would be completely different. They would plant flowers everywhere in the autumn.
By the time they had finished, they were both quite tired and hungry. They prepared dinner together, sat down at the table they had moved and began to eat, satisfied with the house's new appearance.
Everything was perfect, but Jimin was also aware that this was an illusion. Whenever he allowed himself to be overwhelmed by the brightness, the darkness would swallow him up. Yuri's smile hurt him just as much as Yoongi's did. He kept looking at her face and telling her lies.
How much longer could he remain silent when he wanted to shout the truth? Perhaps Yuri would understand him. What harm could come from trying? As he stabbed his fork into the undercooked lamb, he looked expectantly at Yuri's face and was caught. “ You look like you want to say something. ”
He parted his dry lips, closed them, then parted them again. No sound came out.
“ Nothing …” H e said, his voice cracking. He forced a smile that was so strained he was sure he had been understood. He felt the need to change the subject quickly. “ I really like the new look of the house. Thank you so much, noona … I couldn't have done it without you. I should also thank Taehyung for giving me the idea. ” I shrugged sadly. “ I feel like he'll be upset with me for starting the decorations without him. ”
Yuri chuckled as she chewed her meat and took a bite of her carrot salad. “ He’s so busy with Jungkook that I don’t think he has the energy to be angry with anyone. ”
“ I haven’t heard from him since. I hope he’s okay.”
“ I’m sure he’s fine. He’s been waiting for this moment for years … To spend his heat with Jungkook. He’s safe with him. ”
“ I'm happy for him …” While he was dying for Yoongi here, others were getting too close to their alphas and realising that it didn't feel good. “ I wish Yoongi were here with me too …”
He realised he had said this out loud when he looked at Yuri. She was grinning mischievously. “ They say that heat triggers mates. Maybe your mate will go into heat one of these days.” She sighed. “ Yoongi has been holding himself back for a long time. I’m worried about him. ”
When she suddenly took his hand, Jimin tensed up and avoided looking at her. “ You'll always be there to help him, right? He'll be very intense and want to distance himself from you. He'll try to avoid hurting you … I know my brother. But you'll find a way to calm him down. Isn't that what mates are for? ”
“ Y-yes, of course …” All the blood rushed to his cheeks and he stammered awkwardly, wanting to run away. “ I'll help him. ”
“ Did I embarrass you? ” She chuckled. “ We're family, after all. ”
“ Have some dessert .” H e said, trying to change the subject. But Yuri was still laughing and Jimin was still blushing, as if it were possible to be more embarrassed. “ All right, I won't embarrass you any more. ”
After dinner, they examined the materials they had taken from Yoongi's room by the fire. Yuri had suddenly come up with the idea and Jimin had agreed. They would paint together, chat and drink wine. Jimin loved this night so much already that he would never forget it. Outside, it was snowing lightly; the house felt like a cosy nest and the crackling fire filled the room with a pleasant sound.
“ Yoongi won't be upset, will he? ” H e asked, sitting down on a cushion. The ring incident still hurt his heart …
Yuri said, “ If he gets upset, he'll have to deal with me. I gave him these materials as a gift, but he doesn't understand painting or art. Typical … He hasn't even touched them. That's why I'm giving them to you. Let's get started. First, watch me, okay? You'll create something unique. Just make sure you know what you want to do. There's no room for error in woodblock printing. ”
He swallowed hard; she took her work very seriously. The image that came to his mind was, of course, of a flower: Small, blue flowers that were first washed and then reassembled. He watched in awe as Yuri skilfully painted the woodblock and pressed it onto thick paper. The entire process took ten minutes, and neither of them uttered a word. Yuri was very focused on her work. As the candles flickered with their breath at the ends of their heads, Yuri stepped back. “ That's it. Now it's your turn.”
“ Alright …” H e said, clearing his throat, dipping the brush in the paint and carefully working on the wood for several minutes. Yuri demonstrated how to do it again, placing his hand over Jimin's. “ Press firmly .. . Wait a moment... There you go. ”
When the painting was finished, Jimin wasn’t overly pleased with the result, but it wasn’t terrible either. The colours of the flowers looked a little faded on the textured paper, but it was acceptable. “ What kind of flowers are these? ” asked the older sister, examining it closely. “Hmmm... W here did they come from?”
“ These flowers grew abundantly along the riverbank where I was born …” H e replied. What came out of his mouth wasn't a lie. The first place he had seen these sweet, nameless flowers was undoubtedly not his skin. They were wildflowers, blooming in the fields. Like him, they were both delicate and resilient. They needed to be seen and recognised.
“ They're very pretty. I've never seen them here before.”
“ I think they’re native to the northern countryside …” H e said, clearing his throat and changing the subject. “Should I hang it on the wall? ”
“ Yoongi will love it. After all, it's from your hands. ”
“ Do you think so? ” Yuri's words made him very happy, even if they weren't true. He bit his lip, stood up and took a step back to look at the painting he had just hung on the wall. This small touch alone had changed the atmosphere of the house, bringing it closer to being a home rather than just a house. As his heart warmed, he placed his hands over his chest.
His prayer was clear. ‘ One day I will freely show them to everyone, and I will wait until the day when the same things appear in my soul mate. ’
Later, he returned to his place by the fire and sipped wine from an expensive crystal glass. He couldn't get used to the taste, but he liked the slight turn of his head and the bitter aftertaste. As he moved on to the second glass and continued drinking, everything became easier… He let go of his inhibitions and laughed along with Yuri's stories. Then it was time for the bitter memories…
Yoongi's childhood, his own childhood. In order to take something from Yuri, he had to give something in return. Under the watchful eye of his wolf, he told what he could. Yuri continued.
“ Yoongi was the sweetest child you could ever hope to meet. When he was born and discovered to be a fox hybrid, people were initially afraid of him, including my father, who thought badly of him because neither of their families had ever had a fox. But there he was … As they got to know him, however, they slowly realised that Yoongi was more of a blessing than a curse. With his orange-red hair, snow-white skin and soft, chubby cheeks, he was irresistible. In fact, prosperity had come to the village after he was born …” She sighed. “ I don't know if he told you, but before I was born, my mother had miscarried many times. I was a sickly child, close to death. She couldn’t give birth to a healthy child. Until Yoongi came along. ”
He didn't know any of this for certain. His alpha rarely opened up to him. He wished it weren't so. He shook his head slightly and his eyes welled up.
“ That's how it is .. . He hates being a fox hybrid, but deep down, I know he loves it. If he were to come back to this world, he'd want to be the same person again. Yoongi is one of a kind. Just like you and Jimin. Don't ever let each other go, okay?”
“Never…” He replied, his voice trembling. “Until death do us part.”
His eyes were wide open, like a fountain. The first tear fell soon after, trickling gracefully down to his full lips. The tears kept coming. He began to cry silently, as though it were a prayer. Yuri pulled him close and stared into the dancing flames for a long time. She had always struggled to comfort people who were crying, but now, as they both teetered on the edge of drunkenness, this feeling was beautiful… There was no rope holding him back, no rein to restrain him. They were both completely themselves. “That's why I love drinking…” She said quietly. “It sets us free.”
“ Really... ” Jimin added, his nose running. “ I feel like I'm drifting away. We should do this more often. I've never liked soju before, but I'm enjoying this...” He looked at the red liquid.
“ When Yoongi goes away, I’ll be with you. ”
“Will he get angry if he finds out?” There was no trace of worry in his voice… He was too relaxed. He stretched his legs forward. “I never know when my alpha will get angry at me.”
“ What do you mean?”
He shrugged innocently. “ When he gets angry at me, I’m so scared... I struggle not to fall out of his favour. That’s all I do … I think about how to keep him calm until his next outburst. But I keep making the same mistakes … I never learn …” A single tear fell. “ Even though being with him sometimes tears me apart, the thought of leaving him breaks my heart. ”
“ Ah, Jiminie, what are you saying?”
He cut h er off. “ He doesn't know how I feel … I'm overreacting... I don't even know why I'm saying this now. Forget it, okey ? These things happen in every relationship. We're fine.”
“ You love him so much, don't you? ”
He wiped his nose with his hand and nodded his head, his cheeks flushing. “ More than anything .. . More than myself …” He began to cry uncontrollably, burying his face in Yuri's chest. “ I'm so afraid that the spell will be broken and I'll be left alone... ”
Yuri, stroking his long, silky blonde hair, she was about to cry too. “ You won't be alone, ever. Even if everyone else leaves, I'll stay by your side. ”
“ Promise?” He sobbed. But he wouldn't believe her, even if she did promise. What he had done was so terrible that he wasn't even sure if he had an excuse.
“I promise.”
“ Will you forgive me no matter what? ”
Yuri didn't hesitate. She would tell him whatever he wanted to hear. “ Yes, that's what noonas are for, isn't it? ”
*****
After the emotional storm had passed, they had both calmed down and fallen asleep on the two sofas in the living room. The next day, Jimin was awoken by sunlight on his face . I t was midday. They had slept for many hours and Yuri was still sound asleep to his left in yesterday's clothes. Unable to ignore the pain in his head, Jimin sat up, his face contorted in pain.
He saw the empty glasses in front of the extinguished fireplace. He couldn't remember what he had said the previous night. If he had lost control and said things he shouldn't have, his life would be over. He hoped the wolf had guided him. His relationship with Yuri had progressed further, and he was happy with how things were going.
He opened the window and leaned out, sighing. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining. A strong breeze brushed his face and he whispered, “ Yoongi, when are you coming back? ”
This was the first time they had been apart for so long. Even though their seals and bonds weren't fully formed yet, why did he feel so empty inside? It was as if someone had hollowed him out and left.
Later that day, Jimin and Yuri went for a short walk in the neighbourhood and did some grocery shopping. They then picked up a few things needed for the mansion and returned there. Jimin hadn't been there in a while. After carrying the paint they had bought to Yuri's room, he went downstairs. Chaerin wasn't around. When Yuri emerged from a room on the lower floor, she looked somewhat perplexed. “ Oh my God …” S he said. “ This woman can't live without me, I guess. ”
“What happened?”
“ She's got a bad cold. I told her not to water the garden alone yesterday, but she didn’t listen. She caught a cold while planting flowers and is now bedridden.”
“ I’ll go and see if she needs anything …” H e said, heading for the door. But Yuri grabbed his wrist. “ She gets very grumpy when she’s ill. I don’t think you should go.”
He heard Chaerin sneezing and talking inside, so he opened the door slightly. He couldn't leave without checking on her. At the very least, he had to wish her well; it would be rude not to. He leaned in slightly. “ Chaerin-shi, Yuri said you're unwell. Is there anything I can do for you?”
“ Did Yoongi come? What day is it?” As the wet cloth on her head shifted, Jimin approached the bed cautiously. “ No … ” H e replied. “ They haven't come yet. ”
“Where is Jungkook?”
“ He... well, he's with his omega. ”
“ My head is spinning, so don't touch me!” He hadn't touched her yet, but he was about to. As he placed the cloth firmly on her forehead, he was frightened by the warmth radiating from her skin. “ Would you like me to call a healer? ”
“ My husband always leaves me alone in difficult times! Ah, Dohyun! You'll pay for this!”
“ Chaerins-shi …”
“What's wrong? Leave me alone! Who said you could enter this room?” Then she looked at him carefully. “Jimin?” It seemed as if she had just realised who he was. “Do me a favour.”
“ Of course …” H e replied eagerly. He would do whatever he could.
“ A little …” S he coughed violently. “ Just a little pheromone. ”
Jimin stared in shock. “Pheromones?”
“Ren!” s he said impatiently. “ It healed my son. I won't tell anyone; it stays between us. You'll just release a little pheromone. I've heard that Ren is good for every illness.”
Should he do it? The idea that his scent could be useful was wonderful. He swallowed and touched the woman's skin again. He traced her thin, bony wrist. She was so delicate. Yoongi would be heartbroken if anything happened to her.
“ I'll try... ” He tried … In fact, when he released a little too much pheromone, Chaerin fell into a deep sleep. Yuri quickly entered the room, grabbed Jimin's exhausted body and carried him out. “ I can't believe she asked for pheromones. What a lack of sincerity... ”
“ Isn't that a good thing? ”
“ I hope so .. . My mother is warming up to you slowly. But don't do anything you don't want to just to get on her good side. ”
“ Will it stick to my hands? My scent never fades. ”
“ But look, you're soaked in sweat. ”
It was true. He nodded as he wiped his forehead. “ Stay here tonight too. I can't leave my mother alone.”
He wasn't too keen on the idea. He didn't want to be away from home for even a second. Still, he agreed to stay until dinner. Afterwards, they helped clear the table and went up to the balcony on the upper floor of the house, where they talked some more while wrapped up warm with Yuri.
“ I can't remember last night; we drank too much. ”
Jimin relaxed, relieved to find that he wasn’t the only one with no memory of the previous night. “ I passed out. I didn’t even drink that much.”
“ We’ll do it again sometime.”
He chuckled. “ Sure. ”
“ Listen, why don’t you talk to the healer about this pheromone thing? You have a unique ability... M aybe you can develop it and achieve even greater things. ”
Jimin had never thought about it before. But s he was right; his scent was as unique as his flowers. It was precious. “I don't know. What can I do?”
“ Mastering your abilities would be beneficial. You could learn to control them, and maybe you wouldn't get so tired.”
“ That's a good idea. I'll think about it …” H e said, nodding thoughtfully. He would consult Yoongi about this matter as soon as possible.
Soon after finishing his cooling tea, he looked at the quiet area illuminated by torches and gas lamps and felt it was time to leave. He wanted to be home before nightfall.
“ If that's the case, go ahead, but I'll tell yoongi that you insisted to go .”
“ Don't worry. I'll be fine. I'm not afraid of being alone.” Actually, he was afraid, but he had greater fears. If Taehyung hadn't been busy, he could have tried to call him over.
But maybe it was best to be alone and take care of himself. After all, Yoongi wasn't there, and it seemed like he wouldn't be back any time soon. He would pull himself together and try to satisfy his desires alone. It was something he hadn't done in a while. His ears started ringing and it felt like his blood was flowing backwards.
He felt like he was getting into heat again.
When he got home, the first thing he did was prepare hot water and get into the bathtub — a place he had no good memories of — to clean himself. As he washed his body, he felt a stinging sensation in his groin. Everything smelled like Yoongi. He swallowed hard, knowing he had to get out of the bathroom immediately. He dried off, got dressed and put on the satin pyjama set for the first time, liking the way he looked in the mirror. He smiled at his reflection and swept his damp blonde hair to the side. His cheeks were flushed from the hot water. He looked fresh and vibrant. Like a beloved omega .. . Someone whose every desire and need had been fulfilled.
However, after lying down on the bed, he didn't feel comfortable; it was too big and empty. So he grabbed the fur coat that had absorbed his Alpha's scent and curled in the livingroom by the fire. The fabric felt suffocating on him. He found himself rubbing the fur between his legs. “ My alpha …” H e said hoarsely. “ Come back... ”
*****
After spending two days away from his omega, Yoongi had become extremely irritable. He was meant to be sitting in the front row at the banquet during the evening leadership meeting, but he was unable to even exchange a few words with his closest friends from Jung's pack because the crowd overwhelmed him and he hid in the back rows. He was like a wild animal; the hairs on the back of his neck bristled and a fire burned beneath his skin. Even his teeth sharpened at random moments. He felt like a disgrace to the entire pack under his father's piercing gaze.
It was all his fault .. . His father was bringing out the wild side in him …
While discussing an alliance with one of the Jung pack leaders, his voice deepened into a wolf-like growl, drawing everyone's attention in the crowded hall. “ I need some air …” H e said, leaving them and filling a plate he found on the table with meat as he stepped out into the cold. In the quiet grassy area behind the large, single-storey hall, he ate enough rabbit and deer meat to feed five people, yet he was still hungry.
His fangs were sharpening again. His vision was blurring, which he attributed to drinking too much. At that moment, he felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked his head up in anger. It was Namjoon. When their eyes met, the leader’s gaze darkened. “ You're not well …” H e said. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“Where did you get that idea? Go back inside, Leader Kim . ” H e snapped. “Can’t you leave me alone for a moment?”
“ Your eyes …” s aid Namjoon. “They're like those of a wolf about to enter the rut.”
“What?” H e spat. He wanted to walk away. “What nonsense .. .”
“Your attitude is too aggressive and angry… You can't stand the alphas around you, either… I won't even mention what happened earlier. You're clearly going into a rut; your scent can be detected from miles away. If I had known, I wouldn't have let you come.”
This was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. There was no way it could be true. It had nothing to do with him.
Then Namjoon looked up at the sky and said, “ It's a full moon … It affects us wolves a lot. You seem to be feeling its effects, too.”
“Fuck!” He said, looking at the full moon. “It can't be…” Suppressing his wolf and desires for years was one thing, but getting into a heat under the full moon was something else entirely. It was like fire and gunpowder coming together. It was destructive.
“ You need to go back to the pack. I’ll explain your situation to them. ”
“No.” He said firmly. His wolf was ready to run. He had to run to his omega. He had to touch him, hold his delicate body tightly and warm him up. He had to protect the flowers. What would he do without him? He had to get into his warm bed and into his arms. “No!” He said to himself, hitting his head. He felt like he was going to vomit. “Flowers!”
“ Yoongi, snap out of it! What flowers are you talking about? ”
“What?” He had to pretend he didn't know. This was a secret he shared with Jimin. He had to protect those flowers as if they were his own children. “What flowers? I didn't say anything like that.”
The harsh voice brought him back to reality. “ You have to go. Can't you see? You'll cause trouble for us. If you can't go to your omega, go to the cabin and chain yourself up.” He was also in a state of confusion. “ I don't know... Just figure something out. ”
If he went home, he wouldn’t be able to stay away from Jimin. He knew he couldn’t stay away. No matter what he did, he’d end up by his side. He’d hurt him. “ I’ve never… ” He paused. “With an omega… ”
“I know, Yoongi.” Namjoon’s gaze was understanding. “ But you won't know unless you try. He’s your mate .. . You won't hurt him. ”
“ But …” He looked at his trembling hands. He couldn't hold himself back any longer. He had to leave immediately. Clenching his teeth, he said, “ I'm leaving. It's not good for you if I stay here. ”
“ Don't worry about us. We're leaving in two days anyway. ”
So, having taken only his hunting clothes and weapons, he set off half an hour later. The night was dark and dangerous, but he wasn't afraid. Darkness didn't scare him; it was more like a guide. The sky was full of stars. He began his restless, long journey on horseback. He felt like turning back. The wolf whispered terrible things in his ear, tempting him.
‘ Don't you want to reach our omega faster? ’
‘ Look! I saw a beautiful deer over there. Let's take it to our omega. He must be hungry. He's so helpless that he can't satisfy his hunger without you. ’
‘ Let's do something for him. Let's hunt another white bear. Let's put all the white bears in the world in front of him. Remember how happy he was when you did that? ’
"Enough, shut up! Enough! ” When he reined in the horse, the poor animal whinnied in fear. Ahead of them was a riverbed. Several hours had passed since they set out and the horse was tired, but Yoongi didn't consider stopping for a rest. His mind was too exhausted to fight, so he was listening to the wolf's voice now.
There was only a short distance left to go. Since he had been riding at full speed since setting out and hadn’t stopped once, he would reach Kim Region in a few hours. Was he ready to face the realities there? With his heart pounding so fiercely that it felt like it would burst from his chest and his blood flowing backwards, could he confront his omega? What awaited them was uncertain, and Yoongi hated uncertainty.
He didn't want to force him to do anything.
He decided to let the horse rest by the riverbank for a while, in case it collapsed from exhaustion. As the horse bent down to drink the cold water, Yoongi jumped off its back and disappeared into the darkness to hunt. Delicious smells wafted into his nostrils. While the horse rested, he had to prepare a feast for his omega. Hiding among thick firethorn bushes, he held his breath and waited in a hunter’s stance. Just beyond him, a few deer were dozing. Further away still, nocturnal red rabbits were digging in the damp soil. He would hunt them all, every last one. He had to feed Jimin well because his delicate body needed to gain weight in preparation for carrying his pups. He would fill him with pups. As an alpha, it was his duty to make his beautiful omega strong and powerful.
As the full moon shone brightly in the sky, obscured by poplar trees, Yoongi gradually relinquished control to his wolf with each passing second.
It didn’t take him long to catch a few rabbits. When the deer fled because of the noise he made, he muttered a curse. Now was not the time for regret. The rabbits he had hunted were still warm. As snow fell on their red fur, he tied them together by their legs, hung them over his shoulder and covered them with his cloak. He had strayed too far from the riverbank and had to return to retrieve his horse. As darkness fell, he reached the river, reached into his pocket, and mounted his horse. He stroked the precious piece of fabric — the shirt that carried the scent of his omega — for a long time. Was that unique scent gone? He clenched his teeth, almost letting out a growl of hunger.
‘That's enough’ He thought. He would leave hunting the deer until later. The horse was still where he had left it, its long neck bent as it ate the fresh grass by the water's edge. When the horse caught Yoongi's strong scent, it lifted its head and shifted uneasily. Clearly, he didn't like the idea of an alpha in heat climbing onto his back. Yoongi didn't like it either. “We've got a little way to go…” He said, stroking its mane. Namjoon always said that getting along with horses was all about communicating with them. “Hang in there for another hour... and if possible, let's not meet again.”
When the horse seemed to understand, exhaling through its nostrils, Yoongi was about to jump onto its back with the rabbits around his neck when he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He became alert. His fur immediately bristled with anger as the pheromones of a foreign alpha filled his nostrils. Now was not the time.
When a wild-looking alpha emerged from the bushes, his clothes torn and tattered and holding a stolen knife, Yoongi’s jaw tightened. The wolf kept saying, ‘ Attack ! It's a great opportunity to vent our anger and tear him apart. Show him what it means to get in your way. ’
But he didn't want trouble; he wanted to return to his omega.
“ Get out of my way …” H e said calmly. “ This won't end well for you. ”
“ What if I don't? ” He took a step closer and looked hungrily at the rabbits around his neck. “ If you give them to me, I might reconsider. ”
Those rabbits were destined for his omega’s stomach. His neck hairs stood on end as he assumed a fighting stance and grabbed the knife at his waist. “Are you thirsty for blood?”
“A lone alpha in the forest, on the verge of rut... Especially during a full moon…” Said the wild alpha. “You’re the one thirsty for blood.”
The wolf spoke again. ‘ Kill him. Just like the alphas who beat the omega that night, he's malicious. Don't let such creatures live. ’
It was right, damn it, and so very right. The biggest mistake of his life had been letting the alphas who had beaten Jimin that night go free. Now, he was going to put things right. A surge of power erupted within him and he felt the gloves tighten around his fingers. As he realised his nails were beginning to transform, the alpha lunged towards him, but Yoongi dodged to the right slightly. The scent emanating from the Alpha indicated that he was drunk.
He couldn't take it anymore. “You all deserve to die!” He said, grabbing the alpha by the neck and pressing him against the trunk of a tree two steps away with a strength he didn't know he had. Unable to breathe, the alpha reached out for Yoongi's hands, his eyes wide with shock. “L-let go…”
“We won't stop until we've killed every one of you…” He said. “Murderers, rapists... you savage immorals…” Yoongi squeezed so hard that the veins on the alpha’s pale face became visible. The alpha struggled, trying to dig his nails into Yoongi's face. But it was useless — no one could stop Yoongi, who was focused on killing his prey. He was a fox hybrid who held a grudge and never forgot. Perhaps that was one of his best qualities: even if he knew death was coming, he would show no mercy.
With creatures like him around, his omega couldn't run and jump freely in the forest.
“ You'll die …” H e said, tightening his grip on the alpha’s throat. He didn't take his eyes off the wild one for a moment. The horse behind him was restlessly neighing.
“Mercy...!” He said in short bursts.
At that moment, his keen nose detected another scent. As he turned his head towards it, an arrow whizzed past his ear in the darkness. It seemed that the number of enemies had doubled. He grabbed the alpha in front of him fiercely, breaking its neck in one swift motion and using its body as a shield. Someone was running through the trees.
He would kill him, too. Anyone who came before him that night would meet the same fate.
When he sensed a second arrow coming, he ducked and it lodged itself in the tree behind him. Having determined the direction from which the arrow had come, he ran into the darkness and grabbed the wild one by the shoulders, throwing him to the ground. He was not mistaken; it was another member of the same wild pack. As he repeatedly punched him in the face, blood from his own ear dripped onto the fallen alpha. He felt no pain, only exhilaration.
When the alpha remained motionless, he let go and stepped back. That was enough. He had killed him with his fists. For a brief moment, he came to his senses and looked at his blood-soaked hands. He had become a death angel, and he was afraid of himself.
Quickly getting to his feet, he staggered towards his horse, breathless and dazed. ” 'Let's go .” H e said, mounting his horse. Tying the rabbits to the saddle, he secured them so they wouldn't fall off, then reined in his horse. He had left two dead alphas behind him.
It was a mistake for the wild ones to get involved with him. Still, he wouldn't tell anyone what had happened.
He fixed his gaze on the clearing ahead and the long road beyond. As he approached the Kim Pack territory, the snowy weather gave way to a slightly milder wind — a pleasant breeze.
With each step the horse took, the alpha's heart skipped a beat. He sped up, as if the joy of approaching him might burst him open. Although a voice inside him urged him to transform, he managed to resist, feeling relieved that he could still control his wolf. Appearing before Jimin in the form of an angry wolf would only frighten him.
About an hour later, as he descended the mountain path behind the silhouette of the pack, he finally saw it. The distant lights flickered on and off and he thought they looked like a beautiful painting from where he stood. He was embracing that place as his home for the first time. There were things there that he loved and cherished. And, for the first time, being with the pack no longer gave him a strange stomach ache or a feeling of emptiness. That sense of lack had given way to a sense of completeness.
They call this 'coming home after a long journey'.
After taking a deep breath, he stopped admiring the view and said to his horse, “ Come on. We're here. ”
He had come very close to the towers and stone walls that surrounded the area. He pulled his horse's reins and whistled when he reached the main gate, through which the pack entered and exited. The warriors in the tower saw him and, thinking something was wrong, rushed towards the gate. Soohyuk frowned when he saw Yoongi. “ Aren't you supposed to arrive in a few days, Alpha Min? ”
“ Emergency .” H e said gruffly, dismounting from the horse he could no longer bear to stay on. He added, “ Good job …” They knew how to tolerate each other, which was a good thing for Yoongi. “Take my horse to the stable. I'm going home.”
“ Is t here a problem—”
“Rut, Soohyuk. Okay ? If you've finished questioning me, I'm going home now. ”
Soohyuk looked into his eyes and took a step back as the heavy wooden doors swung open on either side. “ Of course, Alfa Min. I'll let your family know you've arrived. ”
“ I won't see anyone near my house for a week .” H e said, glaring at him over his shoulder. “ Or I'll hold you responsible. Don't bother us.” He took off his leather gloves and set off. Seven rabbits were under his control, and he had a shirt in his pocket that was worn out from touching them. He had fought so hard to resist touching it and himself while spending the night in the Jung pack. If he had, it could have triggered his heat, so he didn't. But the amazing scent that permeated the shirt drove him wild.
He had never felt this way before. What was happening to him? He was exactly the kind of thing they called a raging bull.
He ran along the narrow path where oak trees covered the sky; the air was just beginning to brighten. As soon as he saw the roof of the house, followed by its exterior, he stopped. His omega must be sleeping soundly. How could he wake him up?
He opened the garden gate, entered the fenced-in house and passed under the cherry tree. He took a quick look around. He needed to make sure that everything was in order. He stopped by the front window, checking for an open window or slightly open curtains. The window, which had previously been covered by a display case, now had its dark curtains slightly open. Leaning his forehead against the cold glass, he peered inside and saw that the fireplace was out and Jimin was there. Jimin was curled up on the thick cushions opposite the fireplace, wrapped in the fur coat that Yoongi had made for him. His long, beautiful hair was scattered haphazardly across the pillow.
It took him a long time to realise that he was watching him like a pervert. Until that moment, he had thought a thousand things. His sister wasn't there, Jimin had spent the night alone and now he was cold. What if another Alpha had been watching him like that? What if another alpha had tried to break into his house? He gritted his teeth and quickly backed away.
Was he losing his mind?
But he had told him to stay with his sister. He clenched his fists at his sides, trying to control his anger. He was here; he had come; and his omega was safe. That was what mattered.
Yet he still couldn't bring himself to go in and wake him up. Instead, he went to the woodshed at the back of the house to do what he had set out to do and found an axe among the large oak logs waiting to be chopped. He had to chop a lot of wood. If he had enough to last him through his heat, nothing would spoil these special days.
He got to work quickly; the sun was beginning to peek out and Omega would probably wake up in a few hours. He usually liked to sleep in, and Yoongi never interfered. He exhaled sharply, brought the axe down on the large log and enjoyed the loud crack as it split into pieces. He had to do more. This made him feel a little more relaxed and gave him something else to think about besides his aching groin.
Meanwhile, inside the house, Jimin opened his eyes a few minutes later at the sound of the noise. At first, he blinked in surprise, wondering if it was a dream. No, the noise was coming from somewhere very close to the house. This was frightening. He swallowed hard and held back his pheromones.
Damn it! He should have listened to his alpha. Had the wild ones arrived?
He threw on a dark-coloured shawl and got up in his pyjamas. The sound was coming from behind the house. He decided to look out of the window and, as soon as he entered Yoongi's room, he felt at ease. His fear had vanished. Gently parting the curtain, he saw that the noise was coming from the woodshed. Someone was chopping wood in the early hours of the morning.
That someone was Yoongi. His alpha, whose broad back was all he could see. He had discarded his heavy clothing and was wearing a cream-coloured undershirt that exposed his torso.
Jimin thought he was dreaming. He closed the curtain and placed his hand over his heart. Was he losing his mind from longing?
No, the noise continued. Finally realising it was real, he threw himself out of the back door in his thin satin pyjamas. The shawl he had been clutching slipped off his shoulders in the shock of the moment. Standing on the doorframe, he watched his alpha in astonishment, whispering, “ Yoongi …” A nd bringing his index finger to his mouth timidly.
Clearly, someone had lost their mind.
When Yoongi stood up straight and slowly turned to face him, Jimin took a step back, frightened by the look in his eyes.
They were no longer like foxes. He was still glowing like fire, but this time it was the fire of wolves, the fire of the rut. As he heard the mournful howl of a wolf in the distance, his heart skipped a beat. His alpha, his one true soulmate, was entering the rut.
Stuck between fear and excitement, Yoongi quickly dropped the axe he was holding. To his right was a pile of dozens of shattered logs. “ Jimin …” H e said, as if he had just started breathing again. He stood right in front of Jimin and touched his chin with his index finger. It was real. Jimin trembled at his touch. “ You're cold …” Yoongi whispered.
“And you're burning.” He lifted his head and looked into his eyes without fear this time; the fire spreading from him was warming him, too. “ Are you in heat? ”
“ Everything's fine. Don't be afraid. ” Yoongi blinked; his omega was scared. Caught between two choices, he withdrew his hand, picked up the hunting jacket on the ground, and threw it over his omega's shoulders. “ You shouldn't go out like this. Look, your feet are bare .” H e said, sounding slightly annoyed.
“ I woke up to the noise... I wasn't expecting to see you …” H e began, bending down to look at his feet.
“ Did I scare you? I thought I was being careful and quiet...”
“ What are we going to do with all this wood anyway? ”
Yoongi stared at him blankly. What were they going to do with it? He went back and forth to his wolf. “ I thought you might be cold …” H e said. “ That's why... ”
“ But there was already plenty inside. ” He would ask that question later. This was clearly a situation involving his wolf, and he was looking very foolish right now. He swallowed hard. What should he do? How could he communicate with an alpha in rut? He decided to listen to his wol f too — the omega was already awake and growling. He opened the door. Jimin rested his hands on his alpha's warm chest. “ Let's go inside. You must be tired. ”
“ I'm fine .” H e replied distractedly.
“ I thought you'd be here in two days …” H e said, burying his face in the warm chest. “ I'm glad you're here. ”
“ I came for you …” The Alpha wrapped his arms around Jimin's waist as if to pull him inside. When the flowers trembled, a small moan escaped Jimin’s lips. “For my omega … ”
He was on the verge of tears. He was his omega .. . Looking at him, he sighed and trembled. Even though the bloodstain on his Alpha's ear was hidden by his hat, Jimin could smell it. But before he could examine it, he jumped in fright at the sight of the rabbits at his feet. “Are you scared?” Yoongi asked, sounding embarrassed and sad. “ I hunted them for you... ” He bent down and picked up the small, red rabbits, which were tied together with a string and looked like a necklace. He held them out to Jimin . “ Don’t you like them? I thought you would like them. I know they’re not white bears... ”
“ Well, I...” Jimin interrupted, biting his lip. His eyes sparkled as he waited for an answer.
‘ Just say you love them, Jimin! The alpha hunted them for us. How amazing! Give him what he deserves. ’
His heart racing, Jimin said, “It’s beautiful. I love it … ” B ut he felt a little sorry for the poor little animals. At that moment, the rabbits took their place around his neck and he froze. It was a wild and primal moment, and he struggled to keep up at first.
Yoongi looked at his omega with pride. “Eat them all nicely … ” H e said. “ I'll cook them for you. I'll fill your stomach. You'll never go hungry.”
H e blushed. What was he saying? “Okay... Thank you.”
“ Come here …” H e said, suddenly embracing h im with his strong arms. Jimin let out a small scream and clung to him. Who was he talking to and looking at? He had never been this close to his wolf before, yet he already loved him and had fallen for him. As he slipped his fingers into his collar, the rabbit's fur brushed against his cheeks. Yoongi closed the door with his foot when they entered, then led his omega to the kitchen and sat him on the counter. When they parted, Jimin stood motionless, perhaps still in a daze.
“ With your permission, I'll borrow them for a while …” H e said, looking at him mischievously with his red eyes. He rubbed his cheek before grabbing the rabbits.
“Of course...”
“ What would you like to eat? Rabbit stew? Or roasted? You can even eat it raw!”
“Oh my God! 'I'm not hungry…” He started to say, but the alpha frowned. “That's why you can't gain weight…” He snapped. “You need to carry our pups in a healthy body. What would I do if you got sick?”
“ Our pups? ”
“ M-hm. I can't wait to meet them …” He chuckled hoarsely. “Let's fill our den with them. ”
Our den? He shook his head. He was blushing with embarrassment, but Yoongi didn't seem to notice. Had he felt the same way? Jimin must have transformed into a completely different person in the heat of the moment, leaving the alpha speechless.
He had to play along. He had to give him his due. He was just as hungry for these pleasures as he was.
He could touch him, kiss him and hug him whenever he wanted... They could do anything... Although he didn't need to think about it, he was still hesitant to make the first move. The alpha seemed to sense his indecision and quickly turned to him, asking, “Is there anything you want? I'll prepare it for my omega right away.”
“ I just want to spend time together. Can we eat later? It's only seven in the morning... ” He scratched his eye and pursed his lips. “Will you take care of me?”
Yoongi immediately stabbed the knife in his hand into the table, turned to him and stepped between the omega's legs. Jimin held his breath; Yoongi was so close to his face that he could feel his breath. “ So you want me? ”
“ Don't you want me? ”
His eyes grew redder and darker. But Jimin wasn't afraid of him. These eyes belonged to his soulmate. He had never seen this side of him before. Everything he had heard was just one side of the story. There was an alpha in front of him who hadn't entered the rut for years, and who had entered it for the first time in years during the full moon. He wouldn't know what that meant until he experienced it himself. To everyone else, this was something to be afraid of. Alphas chained themselves up at such times.
“I want it more than anything…” Said Yoongi, who had lost the battle. He rubbed his nose against the omega's with a primal urge, intensifying the scent. Jimin also wrapped his hand around the alpha's neck. “Then what are you waiting for? I'm ready...”
Yoongi could no longer fight his wolf. Especially not his fox. It was impossible at this point. The fox, who had been waiting so patiently, completely withdrew, leaving the wolf in control. He was setting him free. His heart skipped a beat at this feeling of freedom, like a beast breaking free from its chains. For the first time, they were completely in agreement. It was like a miracle. However, before he lost himself completely, he confronted the anxieties that lingered in a corner of his mind, guided by the path his fox showed him. This side of him was always thinking about Jimin. As his finger touched the omega's silky fringe, he whispered, “I'm afraid of hurting you, Jimin … You know... I've been holding back for years. I don't even remember the last time I let myself go. And now there's a full moon. If you don't want to, I understand. Maybe coming here and forcing myself on you was wrong … ” H e said, swallowing painfully; the very act of speaking caused him agony. He wanted to rub against him and cover that beautiful neck with marks. “ But I found myself at your door. If you want me to leave, I will. ”
Jimin didn't respond for so long that Yoongi thought he didn't want him and was tempted to back off. He wanted Jimin as much as his wolf did, and he didn't even have time to be surprised — everything was happening so fast. Then, Jimin did something that made Yoongi's insides melt: he ran his fingers up the hem of his shirt and pressed his lips to Yoongi's soft cheek. They almost kissed. But Jimin had deliberately avoided it; he would never be the first to kiss. Yoongi's limits were clearly endless; Jimin was going to test them.
As Yoongi froze for a moment at the contact, Jimin whispered in his ear, tickling even the alpha's soul. “ Use me however you want. I trust you completely, Yoonie. ”
Feeling as though he was going to be torn in two, Yoongi wasn't sure if this was real and quickly backed away, walking into the living room. From a distance, he looked at his omega. Jimin was sitting at the counter in his satin pyjamas, watching him with a magical look.
It was heartbreaking.
Yoongi put his hand to his burning chest; he couldn't breathe. What was this feeling all about?
Jimin had already come down from the counter and was standing beside him. His dilemma was written all over his face as he approached the alpha. “ Don't you trust yourself? ”
The sizzling in his mind wouldn't stop. “ I—I don't know …” H e stammered, closing his eyes. “ It won't stop. ”
“ Listen to it... L isten to your wolf for once. It knows what's best for us …” His voice was so soothing that Yoongi felt himself melting like a snowflake touched by the sun. He was taming his wild side. Jimin took the warm, bloody hand of the alpha. “ I'll be here. Don't go. ”
“ Oh God …” H e whispered. His heart felt like it was going to jump out of his chest; the omega's gentle touch was like a freshly opened rose petal: cool and soft. “ What are you doing to me? ”
Jimin shrugged. As he did so, the sleeve of his pyjama top fell off, exposing his neck. He opened his shoulders wider, knowing the alpha would like this. “Whatever it is… You did it to me.”
A primal growl rose from the Alpha's throat. Jimin grinned. “ Here I am, right here. Won't you touch me? Your omega...” He curled his lip. “Or are you scared, Alpha?”
“ Fuck !” H e said through gritted teeth. The air in the room became too thick to breathe as his eyes darkened another shade and Yoongi took a step towards his omega. Jimin stepped back.
He was playing hunter with h im . As Yoongi looked at him, Jimin was like a beautiful fox leaping through the forest, playing tricks on him. And he lost all control.
In one swift movement, he grabbed Jimin around the waist, pulled him close and, before he had a chance to scream, sat him down on a wooden console covered with flower pots. The pots that he had just arranged on the console were shattered on the floor. Jimin flinched, but the arms around his waist were so strong and possessive that he gasped. Yoongi was lost; it was his inner wolf that was holding him and looking at him.
It was exciting.
They shared an intense stare as he placed his hands on the alpha's shoulders. The alpha's hands were fixed on either side of the console as he marvelled at his omega, as if he couldn't believe it was real. “ You... ” H e said hoarsely. “ I should give you the world, put the whole world at your feet... T ell me what you want... ”
Jimin hadn't expected this; his wolf was clearly very generous. He chuckled and stroked the alpha's soft cheek. “ You are my whole world. I told you. I don't need anything else. ”
“ What did I do to deserve you? ” Yoongi shook his head and left, but just as Jimin was about to get upset, he returned with a velvet pouch. It was quite heavy. “ This is yours …” H e said, holding it out.
“ What is this? ”
“Open it.”
Jimin untied the string of the pouch with trembling hands and found inside a pair of sparkling, dark, coral-red pearl necklaces that shone brightly and were smooth to the touch. There was more: inside the pouch were a pair of earrings and a bracelet made from the same precious pearls. “ Red pearls …” H e said, his eyes shining. Jimin's wolf loved shiny jewellery even more than he did. They were eye-catching and flashy, and red pearls were rarely found in mussels in the depths of the ocean.
This was the most precious gift he had ever received from his Alpha.
“ The Jung P ack is famous for its pearls. When I saw them, I thought they would suit your beautiful neck. I chose the most beautiful and precious ones, all of which are unique, just like you … ” The Alpha snuggled up to h im , kissing h is temple and rubbing his nose against h is . “Do you like them?”
“Did you think of all this?”
The Alpha frowned and broke down. “ Who else would have thought of it? You don't know me at all, sweetheart. But you will soon …” H e said, grinning and leaning into h is neck. Pheromones were everywhere; it was as if he had fallen into heaven. He almost dropped the necklace he was holding, but Yoongi stepped back and took it from him. “ Let me put them around your neck. ”
Jimin opened his neck, unaware that this was a game. Yoongi took a long time to put the necklace on, constantly playing with his neck, touching and kissing it. Jimin finally laughed and pushed him away. “ Don't play with me, you naughty. ”
Yoongi grinned again, took a step back, and admired the view. “Strip down until all you're wearing is your necklace.”
“Hm?” H e said, puzzled. The Alpha waited with his back against the wall and his arms crossed over his chest. “Yoongi?” said Jimin. It was the Alpha's job to undress him.
“ I have plenty of time. ”
“But…” He said hesitantly.
“ What are you hiding this time? ” H e asked, his lip curling up mischievously. He was referring to the flowers. “ Everything belongs to me now. Your flowers are mine, too. From the very beginning. Undress …”
Jimin almost lost it. He knew … The person he was talking to was his wild wolf, the one who knew who he was. That's what he called a reunion. He was his soulmate. He nodded, tears filling his eyes, and obeyed, unbuttoning his rose-dyed pyjamas one by one …
Notes:
WELL,,,it's time to meet yoonie guys,,, please leave kudos and comments, i can't wait to read your lovely comments, thank you!! 🥺👩💻
you can also find me on twitter- kittyganpark ❤️
Chapter 24: Rut
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
(Mature Content)
"I was already in love with you from the moment this soul was breathed into this body. Even before you existed."
I could see the effect that the rut was having on Yoongi, but I still didn't move. Living with him during his rut was perhaps a kind of madness, but I was already crazy about him anyway. After giving everything I had just so he would recognise me, how could I walk away or tell him to stay away?
How could I not be by his side?
This alpha, with whom I locked eyes, was the side of Yoongi who knew he was my soulmate. The Yoongi I didn’t know. The Yoongi I had been waiting for from the beginning. I had finally reunited with him. Now, I was face to face with him, not just part of him.
When tears like pearls fell one by one from my moist eyelids, I let them fall. They had been waiting for this moment. My trembling fingers struggled to undo the tiny buttons of my pyjamas. When I couldn't manage the first two, I buried my face in my hands and began to sob uncontrollably.
Crying next to my soulmate, who had entered the rut under the full moon, might not have been the best idea, but I wasn’t afraid of him. I trusted him more than I trusted myself. I had never felt such a clear and deep sense of trust before. It was as though I knew that if I fell off a cliff, my alpha would jump after me and catch me.
As I struggled to stop crying, Yoongi left the wall he had been leaning against and appeared beside me. Before entering between my legs as he had in the kitchen moments earlier, taking my breath away, he gripped my thighs with his strong, bruised and scarred fingers. Each touch was so intense that it left an indelible mark on my skin. Hot and intense… So full of desire that it demanded more.
He was killing me and bringing me back to life with a single touch.
“Never again…” He said in a voice I'd never heard before. It was wild, representing his dark and repressed side. It was like hearing an ancient, forbidden secret. His hot breath caressed my ear. “I will never let him make you cry again. If necessary, I will make him kneel…”
He...
The Alpha I knew until now... He was talking about Min Yoongi, the fox hybrid who made me cry and hurt me at every opportunity. Then he would make me forgive him as if nothing had happened. We had some great fights. He made me fall in love with him, and then he destroyed me with a single word. It was as if he were not a part of him. With pure hatred.
He took my wrist and gently pulled it away from my face, saying, “Don't hide that beautiful face from me…” When our eyes met, his expression became complicated. “You’re so beautiful it hurts my heart... You’re like a landscape I can’t bear to look at. But at the same time, that’s why I want to destroy you.”
I was speechless; my tears had stopped flowing — it was such a shocking moment. I must have imagined what I heard. It wasn't like him to say such things. He would give me a spoonful and then take it back with a ladle. I didn't expect the wolf to be any different, but I guess I was greatly mistaken.
“Are you surprised? You’re right… No one has ever said such things to you before. From now on, you'll only hear the praise you deserve. These are the truths about you. You deserve the best of everything…” When he snorted meaningfully, I could feel his breath on my face. “Especially an alpha's…” He turned my slender wrist towards him and gently kissed my soft, delicate skin. I held my breath. His touch was as light as a butterfly’s wing. It was almost imperceptible. “That's why I belong to you. So you can make me whole again. Don’t push me away.”
Each word shook me more than the last and I was completely captivated by his spell. I was bewildered by what was happening to me. Wasn’t heat supposed to be beyond emotion, bringing out impulses and dark desires? Then why was I looking at the sad fragments of a broken-hearted alpha? Why was I crying?
For a moment, I found myself feeling as though I was betraying Yoongi, even though I don’t know why. Yoongi had never opened up to me like this before; maybe he had never been completely honest with me before, which is why I felt like a stranger to his wild side. I couldn’t tell which side was wilder anymore. The wolf had stunned me completely.
“I'm here…” I said after a moment, trying to sound reassuring. “I'm here.”
“Yes, thank God you're here…” He gently stroked my hair. “We are parts of a whole…” He continued quietly and painfully. “My entire being has been waiting to be completed by you. Yoongi was blind, and he still is. You need to complete us. Listen to the wolf’s voice and it will tell you what to do.”
I pressed my forehead against my Alpha's and sniffed. My head was spinning. Why was he speaking in riddles? “Why?” I said, my nose reddening. I wanted answers; my anger and resentment had resurfaced. “Why didn't you recognise me, Yoongi? All this time, why did you always look at me as if I were a stranger? I waited so long for you to see me, to notice me…” I sobbed, leaning against his shoulder.
“It's not over yet…” He said, pulling me into his embrace. It was the embrace I had always been waiting for. He saw me; he knew me… I swallowed. His heart was beating slowly. “It will take time for us to be together. But I'm here now. Yoonie is here. Call me that.”
“I don't understand…” I said, sobbing. “I don’t understand anything. Why can’t you be clearer?”
“Listen to your wolf…” He said, stroking my hair. “It always tells you the truth. Yoongi’s heart is open now; you broke the lock. You set us free. You bound him to you with invisible strings. I know you’re tired, but you’ve almost reached your destination…” He smiled bitterly and looked at me. “I’ve been in love with you since the moment this spirit was breathed into this body. Even before you existed.” A growl rose from his throat, his eyes turning redder as he took on a more animalistic appearance. Despite having completely lost control, he could still hold back. The creature in front of me was a wild animal, yet it still possessed subtlety and beauty.
I would have let myself go and closed my eyes to his mercy.
When another tear trickled down my cheek, he quickly wiped it away with his finger, drawing closer to me until our chests collided. I went to touch the woollen hat covering his hair and, when I heard his voice telling me to take it off, I was startled to see the scabbed wound and dried blood stains on the alpha's right ear. So that was the source of the smell. I hadn’t noticed it before. “You’re injured.” I said anxiously.
“From the very beginning.”
“I'm serious.” I said sharply. “You're injured. Why aren’t you being careful? How did this happen?” I touched his earlobe, which looked as though it had been grazed by an arrow. However, there was still too much blood dripping down his neck. “Every time you go away, you come back injured.”
Yoongi chuckled hoarsely, took my hand away from his ear and kissed my palm. “I’m sorry for worrying you, my Omega, but it wasn’t my fault. I’ll be more careful from now on.”
“I didn't ask you to hunt… We have enough food.”
This time, he laughed cheerfully. “You don't know wolves at all…”
“This is the first time I’ve got this close to someone.” I confessed. He replied, “And the last… We belong to each other.”
I blushed and pulled my hand away from his, then stubbornly returned it to his wound. “We need to clean your wound.”
“It’s just a small scratch; don’t worry…” He smiled meaningfully. “You should see the other side.”
I frowned; I sensed a threat in his scent, but I didn’t dwell on it. I didn’t want to stop; I had pushed that possibility out of my mind. “Or did you…” I said, not wanting to hear the answer. Had he killed them?
“They got in my way…” He said, averting his eyes like a guilty child. “They were going to take our rabbits. What was I supposed to do?”
“You always get yourself into trouble.” I scolded. “Why are you so aggressive?” I was genuinely worried. “How will I explain this to Yoongi when he comes back?” He would blame me and say it was my fault that he had become a killer. Just then, the alpha gripped me tightly, cutting off my breath. “Listen. You don't have to explain anything to anyone. I’ll train that fool. I’ll use force if necessary. No one will hurt you anymore. Not even me.”
I placed my hands on his chest and bowed my head. It was reassuring, but I was still afraid. “Don’t hurt him. Make peace with him... Yoongi needs this. Guide him.”
After sighing as if he couldn't bear it anymore, he brought his face closer to my neck and said, “All right, now pay attention to me.”
“Shouldn’t we clean your wound?”
“I’m sure it’ll heal if you kiss it. Besides, take off your clothes. All these stupid clothes are hiding your beauty.”
All right, if that's what he wanted, I'd give it to him. I’d save the worrying and questioning for later.
“I can’t undo my buttons… Will you help me?” I asked, immediately getting into character. “I can’t do it on my own. I really need your help, you see…” I let the flirtatious wolf inside me out — it needed to be set free. Today, I needed it and its games. As Yoongi's entire body burned me, he gently gripped my neck. My eyes widened as he said, “I like those little games... That beautiful, delicate neck...” His fingers moved from my neck to my chin and then to my lips. He swallowed hard. “Those lips are worth worshipping…” He paused when he reached my cheeks, his gaze shadowed. “Those eyes burning like fire... They make me want to die with just one glance.”
“I never thought a wolf's mouth could speak so well…” I teased.
“Yoongi comes in handy sometimes…” He replied, pressing his thumb against my lips and forcing my mouth open. My eyes widened. “Did you like that? Hm? These are words that Yoongi couldn’t find a way to tell you… There’s a lovesick poet inside him… here, take them all. Whatever my omega loves, that’s what I’ll be: Whether it's a hungry wolf, an unyielding lover or a wild beast worshipping its omega.”
When the alpha’s index finger parted my lips and found its way into my mouth at that moment, I felt my knees tremble. I was like a weak soldier, kneeling from the very first moment.
This was the soulmate I had spent years dreaming about. Even more than that. This was the missing piece of the puzzle that not even my dreams could reach.
I couldn't believe it. I was terrified that it might be a dream.
“I'm not a dream…” He said, as if he had read my mind. “I'm a traveller who wants to explore every inch of your body until there's nowhere left untouched.” He touched his finger to my palate, took it out of my mouth, grabbed my chin, and said, “Let's start with your lips…” before suddenly closing his lips on mine, taking my breath away.
I was kissing Yoongi...
For a brief moment, I didn’t know where to put my hands and they remained suspended in the air. My mind was exploding. “We're kissing!” It screamed. He’s kissing me…
The thought of his beautiful, soft lips pressed against mine, his hot breath burning my skin and his wet tongue touching mine caused me to moan hoarsely. I finally came to my senses, though, and began to respond to his kiss. He bit my lips, ravaging them, and then his insistent tongue found its way into my warm mouth. When the tip of his tongue tickled my palate teasingly, I lifted my hips to press myself against him. Taking this as a signal, he grabbed my leg and wrapped it around his waist, rubbing his hardness against my groin. I was trapped between the wall and his body. I couldn't breathe. He was hard… God, so hard!
If dying was like this, I was willing to die.
“So beautiful…” He said breathlessly, our noses still touching. A primitive bond had formed between us through the exchange of saliva. “So soft…” He said, leaning down again to suck on my lower lip for a few seconds. “So delicious...” He let out a hoarse groan. It felt like he could turn into a huge wolf at any moment. I gripped his red hair tightly at the back of his neck, trying to rub against him. The scent of blood, wild animals and earth emanating from his skin was scrambling my brain.
“You have no idea how long I've been waiting for this moment…” He said. I laughed hysterically. “Believe me, I’ve waited longer. I’ve given up my whole life…” I replied.
“I’ve waited several lifetimes.”
I rolled my eyes, he was exaggerating. “I…” I insisted stubbornly. “I’ve waited longer. I’ve suffered more, I’ve been hurt more, I’ve struggled more... All you did was wait for me to come to you in your comfortable home.” My anger and resentment merged into one, fanning the flames that would soon consume us both. I had scores to settle, but I didn’t know with whom. “Don’t even try to tell me how hard it was for you. You always tried to fill the emptiness inside you with other people. I followed the sound of that emptiness and found you. No matter how you look at it, it wasn’t fair.”
“Your anger isn’t directed at this poor wolf…” As his breath tickled my ear, I felt his sharp teeth bite my earlobe. “You are my god... I did everything I could to worship you, to save me from this agony. This is all I could do. You can’t imagine what it’s like to be brutally suppressed by the body you’re trapped in.”
I put that to one side for later consideration and continued to demand answers. “Was that worship you mentioned about being with other omegas?” When I pushed him away, he didn’t even flinch. Instead, he stepped back and looked into my burning eyes. “First Hyuna, then Yuna… If I hadn’t arrived in time, maybe you would have married her and started a family! I stayed loyal to you, Yoongi! But you always went to others.” When I pressed my index finger against his chest, his lips parted as though he were watching something pleasant; he looked so calm. “You gave up on me, you liar.”
I couldn’t believe that I was directing all these questions and accusations at a wolf. I didn’t even know whether he was as pitiful as he claimed or if he had been the real culprit all along. For now, I just wanted to get everything I could from him. I wanted to unleash all my anger on him while I could, regardless of what would happen when things returned to normal. It was as if we had both left our rational sides behind. Whatever was going to happen would happen. My wolf had always told me to stay silent, but now it was saying, ‘Go on… Destroy him; make him regret being born.’
Since the wolf wanted it, I felt it was my duty to give him what he wanted. He was an omega who had reunited with his wolf, so he should do whatever he wanted and demand accountability. If they knew each other better than we did, Yoonie would know what was in store for him.
“Of course I could have thrown myself into the arms of someone else. Do you think I didn’t have the chance? How many alphas chased after me for a smile, and how many alphas’ hearts did I carelessly break! You were always on my mind, but I could have gone to one of them, Yoongi — just as you did.”
His rising anger chilled my skin. “As if you could have! No one but me would have accepted you with those flowers.”
I’d rather die than be crushed by those words. I’d already endured being crushed by things my whole life; I didn’t need my alpha to do it too. Just as I raised my hand to slap him hard across the face, he grabbed my wrist, as though he’d been waiting for it. But he wasn’t angry. When he pressed my palm against his cheek, he smiled as if he enjoyed it and leaned closer to me. “Do you want to hit me? Go ahead… I’ve finally driven you to the brink. Do whatever you want to me.”
“You!”
“Me? Do you think I don't realise you're trying to make me jealous? Do you think I'm going to fall for that? I know everything that happened to you. The wolf told me everything. I'll break every hand that touches you. I already have. I killed the wolf that night, Lucas. If there are others, the same thing will happen to them. Now I’m here, and you’ve always been there for me! I never wanted any of them; I never even looked at them sideways.”
I shrugged my shoulders and shivered; the confession was heartwarming. “You two with my wolf... You're scheming behind my back.”
“So you can sleep peacefully.”
“I couldn’t sleep at all!” I frowned and looked at him in disbelief. “You're so annoying...”
“Should we use those lips for something more enjoyable?”
He ignored me, so I quickly pushed him away and jumped off the console. “Forget it.” I said, walking past him. “I’ve given up on sleeping with you. Good luck with that. Send Yoongi back to me. At least fighting with him is enjoyable.”
“Shh, shh…” After grabbing my waist to stop me leaving, he said, “I'm Yoongi anyway. I’m just another side of me that you don’t know. Are you going to reject me too? Are you going to ignore me?” When he looked at me with those puppy-dog eyes, I melted immediately. If that’s what they call the devil’s feather, then so be it. “You really enjoy causing me pain…” He said, staring at me for a long time. “But I’m innocent. You know that. Fate has other plans for us, my dear.”
My eyes welled up as I clenched my teeth. I couldn’t resist him. When his scent intensified, a moan escaped my lips. “I hate you.”
“You don’t.”
“I do!” I said, getting my own back for all the pain he had caused me up to that point. Of course, I could never hate him.
“You’re dying for me…” He said with a smile, “Just like I’m dying for you…”
“Liar!”
“I lied to you once, and I paid dearly for it. I’ll never lie again.”
“What are you talking about?”
It was like an unsolvable riddle. He was always ten steps ahead of me and I felt like a naive rookie. Everyone else seemed to know everything, but I was the only one who was clueless.
Eventually, he must have grown tired of arguing with me because he pulled me into his arms and laid me on the soft, dark brown cushions in front of the fireplace. “You’ve redecorated our home. I like it here…” He said, breathing on my lips.
“Don't change the subject, don't ignore me.”
“Is that all I hear? I just want to love you. Don’t we both need this? Can’t everything else wait?” I trembled as he ran his tongue along the edge of my lip, like a wolf. “Can’t it? Look how much your alpha wants to be with you. Are you going to punish me for no reason?”
“I don't know…” I replied quickly. “I don't know who my anger is directed at. I don’t know why Yoongi is so complicated. Maybe everything would be easier if he weren’t a half-breed. By the way, where’s the fox?”
His eyes darkened, then he smiled silently — a meaningful smile that conveyed many things I couldn’t read. “Ren…” He said. “There are questions I don't know the answers to either.”
My brows furrowed as I repeated, “Ren… That’s not my name.”
“You are Ren…” He insisted. “Everything about you reminds me of it.” When he knelt down, I could see that his trouser front had swollen and his face had turned red. His breathing had become laboured and small beads of sweat had gathered on his forehead. I was almost torturing him by prolonging this.
He wiped the sweat from his forehead and looked at his hands. His nails were slightly pointed at the tips, like a wolf’s. “Omega…” He said through clenched teeth. “I can't take it anymore.”
Lying beneath him, I swallowed and softened my voice. A voice told me that he would like this. “Yoonie…”
He raised his head to the sky, exposing his veiny neck, and let out a howl. “You're driving me crazy...”
“I'm sorry…” I said, and I truly was. I had to put an end to the game.
“Maybe you should lock yourself in your room.”
“H-no!” Thinking that I was hesitating, he immediately sat up and tried to reach me. I cried that he was wasting his last shred of logic on me. “I’m sorry! I pushed you too hard. That wasn’t my intention! I won’t run away from you. Forget it.”
“Do you have any chains at home?” He asked. “Can you tie me up?”
“What are you talking about? I won’t do that; I’ll stay with you.”
He blinked lazily and asked, “Why, wouldn’t you enjoy jumping on my lap with my hands tied?” I turned bright red and slapped his bare chest.
He grabbed my waist and pulled me tightly towards him. His touch on my flowers left me dazed. “Would I let you go now that I’ve found you? You can’t escape, even if you want to. No matter where you go, I’ll find you. I’ll turn the world upside down.”
When I widened my eyes, he laughed. “You’re so cute when you’re worried.”
“Yoongi! You’re scaring me...” I protested, but part of me loved the idea. If I went to the edge of Arashi, it seemed like he could find me. Hunter and prey… He could catch me. But I didn’t want to run away. I wanted to be caught; I wanted to entrust him with my whole heart and soul.
“Yoonie.” He corrected me. “ Yoonie . Okay? You'll call me Yoonie.”
“What if I don’t?” I grabbed the collar of his shirt and giggled playfully. I wanted him to wrap me up in his arms, never let go and give me all his love. I wanted him to share his soul with me, because it was eager to be complete.
He responded by roughly squeezing one of my buttocks. “We both know you’d die to call me Yoonie, remember? Remember how you kept repeating my name when I found you that night?”
“You scolded me for that too…” I said, referring to those days.
He furrowed his brows. “Yoongi is so stupid…” He said. “He’s been holding me back my whole life. If he’d let me, it wouldn’t be like this.” He tilted his head slightly to the left. “Look at us now. We could have been together years ago, but instead we’re like fugitives. It’s weighing on me.”
I bowed my head sadly as the blood rushed through my veins, my stomach churned and my heart beat with sorrow. So much was happening. I didn't know what to focus on.
“Why?” I managed to ask. “Why did it have to be this way?”
“Later…” His voice hoarsely replied. “Let's talk later.” I obeyed his warning. He was holding up remarkably well for someone in a rut. Clearly, Yoongi had trained his wolf well. His mischievous fingers continued to stroke my hips through the fabric and I bit my lower lip. Being touched by him had been a fantasy of mine for so long. I had even started seeking ways to provoke his heat. Finally, the gods had answered my prayers and sent Yoongi my way.
I was falling in love with every aspect of him. Even if he didn’t feel the same way. I had no idea what would happen after this rut. What would become of us? Would we always be apart? When would we become one? How much longer would I have to pretend in front of him?
“Let yourself go…” He said. “Give in completely. Let me take proper care of you.”
I seized the opportunity and leaned in to kiss his sweet lips. Although this kiss was alive, there was still something different about it. If I had kissed the Yoongi I was in love with, it would have felt softer. Now, it felt as though I was kissing only the part of him that was enslaved by desire. I was kissing a savage who was unaware of the emotional side of kissing. Yoongi had never tried to kiss me before. Not once. Maybe I was too ordinary for him. His lips were closed off to me. I pulled away, suddenly feeling as though I were doing something forbidden.
When Alpha's hand slipped under the elastic of my pyjamas and reached for my buttocks, I lifted my hips and rubbed myself helplessly against his hardness. Then one of his fingers slipped past my underwear to reach my already wet opening. The sudden contact made my mind spin and my eyes widened. “How wet you are, how ready you are for me…”
“M-hm...” I let him kiss me, closing my eyes and willing the dream to never end.
“How soft you are…” He said, pressing his index finger against my hole without entering. “And how warm…” He continued to compliment me, and in that moment, I began to love myself. In his eyes, I was beautiful and flawless. “Just as I imagined. You are the embodiment of all my dreams.”
“Y-Yoonie…” I stammered, feeling drunk.
“What did you do while I was gone? Did you touch yourself?” When he bit my ear, I giggled. “Did you think of me? Hm?”
“There wasn’t a single moment when I didn’t think of you…” I replied honestly. There was no harm in opening my heart to her now. “What about you?”
“I went crazy for you. I slept with your dream. I woke up with your dream…” After unbuttoning the last two buttons on my shirt and taking it off, he began to gently stroke my bare shoulders, as if afraid of hurting them. “Look how beautiful you are... It's unbearable.”
“No one has ever told me that I'm beautiful…” Although I enjoyed being touched, part of me was still sad.
“No one sees what I see in you…” I replied, feeling embarrassed. “Let them not see it. I can't bear it.”
As I opened my mouth to speak, my back touched the cushions again. It felt like we had moved past the talking and flirting stage. When Yoongi took off his shirt and threw it aside, I was enveloped in the heavy pheromones emanating from him. I opened myself completely to him. He grabbed my knees, spread my legs apart and looked at me. Then his fingers reached for the elastic of my pyjamas. “Let me.”
He was a wild man who could control himself enough to ask for permission. My heart skipped a beat and I shook my head gently. “You have permission for everything. You don’t need to ask me.”
As his fingers traced the fabric around my waist, he said mischievously, “So you’re giving me permission to cross the line… Aren't you even a little afraid of what might happen?”
“Should I be afraid?”
Instead of answering, I lifted my hips as he slowly pulled my thin satin pyjamas down to my wrists and removed them, tossing them aside. When I realised I was standing before him in the sheer white lace underwear I’d put on last night to feel beautiful, but had been too lazy to take off, I felt a rush of excitement. I knew from his gleaming eyes that I’d made the right decision. Not to boast, but I found my appearance very appealing with that delicate piece of clothing hugging my hips so tightly.
Despite being a wild animal, he had a soft spot for those tiny pieces of fabric. At that moment, I found myself agreeing with Yuri, who had said that these crazy undergarments, which were not my usual style, would be necessary.
“I want it.” He growled.
“What?”
His eyes were fixed on my underwear and I blushed. “Don't throw away anything that's absorbed your scent. Otherwise, I’ll have to take it all back.”
“Yoongi!” I exclaimed, laughing in surprise.
“I took your shirt, too.” He confessed shamelessly.
“What are you saying?” I covered my face in embarrassment as I thought about what he was saying. And there I was, being told Alpha Yoongi's deepest secrets. They had incredible chemistry. I remembered the day I went to throw the shirt in the bin; he had looked at me strangely from behind.
Yoongi had taken the shirt I was wearing when he was in his right mind. Maybe it was the first time he had listened to his instincts.
“Did you like it?” He grabbed my wrists and roughly pulled them away from my face. “Did you, didn't you? How do you think we got through all those days without you?”
“You’re too…”
“I’m in love.” He said playfully. Before I could process his words, he began to press insistent, wet kisses all over my skin. He started with my budding nipples. When he bit down with his sharp teeth and tugged at my sensitive skin, I let out a small scream and pulled at the soft hair on the back of his neck. This only aroused him further. “Mhm!” I was so sensitive! I couldn’t control myself; I wanted to escape and surpass myself. I felt the same way I did when I was in heat. My head was spinning, my eyes stung as if they were about to pop out of their sockets and my skin burned. I felt like I was going to faint.
‘Set me free and watch. You’ll love it.’
“No!” I screamed. Yoongi paused, thinking I was talking to him, and gave me a sidelong glance. “Let him go…” He said, leaving no room for objection. He knew everything. A Yoongi who knew everything was like a dream. “Let me see him.”
“Don't you love me?” I asked, feeling hurt.
“I love every part of you…” He replied, his tongue sliding down. “But you're holding back, and I don't like that. Let him go. You two are amazing together, unlike us.”
Well, he was quite the persuader. As I hesitantly shook my head, he played with the yellow hairs on my thighs, making me blush. “Okay…” I said.
“So delicious…” He said, running his tongue along the edge of my navel and tickling me. “I'll taste every part of you. I’m so hungry...”
“Yoongi…”
I shivered from head to toe when he lifted his head and looked at me. His dark eyes, more like a wolf's than a fox's, had hardened and his gaze had darkened. “You’ll call me Yoonie. What should I do to teach you?”
As scary as it was at first, the following seconds were equally exciting. “I don’t know. I guess I’m a bit slow to learn, Yoongi. You’re so complicated... Wouldn't it be easier if we just accepted each other?” I sighed and stopped stroking his hair.
“Stroke me. Don't stop.” He commanded.
“But you keep scolding me.”
He slowly moved downwards, gently grasping my penis as it began to twitch. When he said, “You’re so cute…” I blushed bright red. “I'll deal with that later.” He said, before beginning to kiss my legs, calves, knees and ankles. His gentle kisses covered every part of me, and I wondered if this was what it felt like to be loved.
I understood Taehyung now…
As my heart raced, Yoongi took my foot between his palms and examined it in astonishment. “So small…” He said, licking his lips. When I tried to pull my foot back in embarrassment, he held it firmly, making it clear that he wouldn't let go. “You can't escape, omega. I've got you.”
“Yoon-gi…” I said timidly. He responded by running his sharp nails across the sole of my foot and skilfully massaging it. I twitched again, stunned by what was happening. I watched the wolf's interest in my feet and wanted him to touch me more. It was embarrassing, but I was terribly aroused by this scene.
When Yoongi kissed my toe and licked the sole of my foot from end to end, I gripped the rug and moaned. “Ah... Stop.” With my eyes tightly closed and waiting to see what would happen next, he suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist, flipping me over onto my stomach with such force that I caught my breath. I was both shocked and impressed by his strength. It seemed as though he could lift my entire body with just one finger. These wild urges were arousing me. “Naughty.” He said, pressing my waist down with his hand and lifting my hips higher. Then he slapped my exposed buttocks and I screamed in shock.
There was more. With my hands pressed against the cushions and my hips offered to him, Yoongi did something that left me breathless. When I strained to look over my shoulder, I was taken aback by the sight. My alpha was bent over, playing with the flowers nestled at my waist. First he caressed them with his fingers, then he licked them as though watering them with his tongue. When he suddenly bit my skin, I let out a loud scream of pleasure. “Ah!”
“This flower looks thirsty…” He said. “It looks neglected, too. Lonely.” I moaned when he bit me again. “Let me take care of it. It needs me.”
His touch was everywhere at once. Even the slightest contact with my breasts was enough to drive me wild. All my senses were heightened. As he continued his provocative movements, I writhed, pressing my forehead against the pillows and trying to hold back my tears.
“This is unfair…” I said after a moment, deeply hurt. “You don't have any flowers! Why did you deprive me of everything?”
“I have flowers…” He said, licking his lips. “They're right here. They belong to me, too...”
“I want to see them on your skin…” I whined. “I want to kiss them, too.”
“For now, you're taking care of them, my darling. Be patient a little longer...” When he crushed the small blue flower covering my waist with his teeth again, I pressed my forehead to the ground and moaned. I couldn't do anything else anyway. Just a few weeks ago, he had hated those flowers. With a passion.
“So you have flowers too?” I sobbed helplessly. I was about to faint from his touch. Yet we hadn’t even started. Which one of us was in heat? “Will I be able to see them?”
He either ignored me or didn’t hear me because he didn’t answer. Instead, he pulled his teeth and tongue away from my skin and traced small, loving circles on it with his index finger. “Touching them hurts my heart…” His voice sounded truly overcome with sorrow. “Do you know the name of those flowers, Jimin?”
I shook my head quickly, wanting him to continue. I was already wet beneath my lace underwear. “No, just little blue flowers. Where I grew up…” I took a breath. “I used to pick them. They bloomed by the lake in spring.”
“ Forget-me-nots …” He said.
I froze. Just one word. It was so strange; I couldn’t cry. But my soul was shattered in an instant.
“That’s their name, isn’t it?”
“Is that right?” I said. After pulling away from his hands and insistent lips, I sat down on my knees and looked at his expression. The heat rising in my waist meant that the flowers were more alive than ever; my Alpha had brought them back to life.
When he locked his eyes on mine without answering, I felt as though I was looking at something that had been waiting there since the beginning of time: an ancient soul. An ancient soul. I swallowed and my hand went to my alpha’s warm cheek. He closed his eyes immediately at my touch, surrendering himself to me. “Jimin-ah... I’m sorry, but please don’t forgive me.”
“Yoonie…” I said. What kind of heat was this? Why was he acting like he was confessing a sin? “What are you saying? Don't you want to make love to me? I-I don't understand...”
“I want you more than anything…” He said, smiling bitterly as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pressed my side against him. “The flowers have made me an emotional alpha.”
I giggled, rubbing my nose against his neck. “Are all alphas this sensitive and emotional during their rut?”
“I am.” He kissed and sniffed my hair as if he had been longing for this moment for years. I had never seen a wolf's eyes look so full of regret and longing. “Ah, I’ve waited so long to be with you. I suffer every day... I still do. I’m still paying the price.”
“What price?”
“You don't want to know…” He met my gaze, then leaned in and gently kissed the corner of my lip. “Trust me.”
My eyes flashed and the wolf suddenly became furious. “Don’t treat me like an idiot, Alpha.”
“Never. I’m just protecting you.”
“You’re a liar.”
He wrapped my hair around his finger and his gaze was so intense that I blushed. “I'll mark you. A complete mark. You won’t be left incomplete anymore.”
My heart began to race as I quickly shook my head. “Yes, yes, mark me.” I had already drifted away from the topic. Once again, I was a prisoner to the desires that consumed me.
“Do you want my knot, too?”
“Mhm, yes... Yoonie…” I said, unable to take it anymore. I slowly moved my hand from his chest to his groin and then onto his hardened penis. When I pressed my hand against it through his trousers, a growl escaped his lips. “I... I'm dizzy. It’s like…” I pressed my hand against him harder and stroked him. “It’s like I’m going to explode.”
In that moment, the imaginary ropes holding my wolf were released. Perhaps releasing my wolf wasn't a good idea, but it was too late to turn back now. I couldn’t control a wolf like him for long — I wasn’t as strong as Yoongi. How could I rein in an omega whose soulmate had only just entered heat?
“I’ll take good care of you.” He said.
“But I should have been the one to take care of you.”
“Just being here is enough.” He replied, then asked, “Shall we begin?” without waiting for my answer. He closed his lips over mine. This time, the kiss was overwhelming and deadly. I couldn’t breathe. A few seconds later, when the taste of blood reached my lips, he had gone even madder. As he sucked the blood from my lower lip and groaned hoarsely, his hands roamed over my entire body. From that moment on, words were empty and unnecessary for us both.
After climbing onto his lap, I didn’t stop kissing him for a moment as I tried to undo his belt; my hands were deft this time. A few seconds later, I was touching my Alpha, stroking his hardened cock. When I pressed my finger lightly against the tip, he bit my lip and hissed.
I wanted to hurt him.
When my wolf was in control, I felt much freer and more like myself. I liked that because I could see and feel what was happening this time. Everything was crystal clear.
When Yoongi pulled me tightly onto his lap and rubbed himself against me, I ached with longing for him down there. “Mhm…” I moaned, wanting him to tear off the piece of fabric beneath me. At that very moment, he tore off the tiny piece of lace effortlessly. His body was tense and his eyes were fixed on his target. He was like a hunter, wanting to possess my entire body and soul.
I was naked before him, innocent and like prey with nowhere to run.
*****
Yoongi
The heat that I entered years later also put my omega into heat. As the pheromones rose suddenly around me, I found myself bonding with him. I was coping well as a wolf because my mate was in a worse situation than I was.
No matter how much our wild side dominated us, we couldn't completely suppress our human side. To be honest, I didn't want to either. Seeing him through Yoongi's eyes, and through my own as a wolf, was an incredible experience.
His beauty broke my heart. But every time I looked at him, I saw things I didn't want to remember. Shadows of a life I didn't want to tell anyone about; dark secrets... Scenes we never wanted to relive.
I couldn’t ask why. Clearly, God had different plans for us both. I had been suppressed and imprisoned for so long that my mouth was sealed shut. Jimin, on the other hand, was cursed with knowing nothing, despite thinking he knew everything. I had had 24 years to think about all this.
I did terrible things to be with him, yet here I was. I was holding him. Tightly. I would never let go again. I just wished that the body I lived in knew that, too. The rut I had fallen into five years later had deeply affected Yoongi. He probably wouldn’t remember any of this once these days were over, and that was the worst part.
I was terrified of picking up where we left off. Why couldn't he just entrust his heart to Jimin and relax? He hurt Jimin, made him cry, and then regretted it. Every time this happened, I wanted to kill the body I was trapped in.
On the other hand, I knew he wasn’t to blame.
Now wasn’t the time to think about these things, though. There was a beautiful omega in my arms, dependent on me. I had to give him what he wanted.
My gaze shifted from the white lace underwear scattered on the pillow to the Omega, who was trembling like a frightened bird in my arms, completely naked. My omega. Only mine. His eyes shone with a spiritual glow, like an angel's, but I could see the devil behind them: a sly fox.
The corner of my lip curled upwards as I gently caressed his buttocks. He was so beautiful... I had never seen anything more beautiful. Every line of his face seemed to have been carefully carved by God like a precious stone, and the skin under my hands trembled like a timid sparrow.
Deciding what to do with him was difficult.
I parted my lips, but no sound came out — I was spellbound.
But Jimin was impatient. He moaned and rubbed his naked body against mine, his cheeks flushing. At that moment, I broke free from the spell and gripped his buttocks firmly, pulling them apart. The omega fluid dripping from him stained my trousers, and the scent made my head spin.
The rut I’d fallen into years later was turning my world upside down. Or maybe it was Jimin’s fault.
“You've made me go into heat…” He panted. “Did you like what you did?”
I laughed with pleasure. “Very much.” I had heard that soulmates' heats often coincided, and I was telling myself how lucky I was to be experiencing this moment firsthand. That beautiful wolf hadn’t left me alone.
When he lifted his body, I positioned myself at his entrance. Without stopping pulling his buttocks apart, I slowly pushed him towards me. With his hands gripping my shoulders and his lips clenched, he held his breath and surrendered to me. As I slid into him, I growled at how tight he was. It was unbearable.
“Ah!” He cried out when I stopped. “Keep going!”
I did. After pushing through his walls with my swollen penis, I said, out of breath, “Relax.” I had never squeezed myself so tightly to avoid hurting someone before.
As his grip on my shoulders tightened, he breathed in and out and said mischievously, “I had forgotten how big you are.”
“You can be sure I won't let you forget again.” I replied. I couldn’t understand how Yoongi could live with him without touching him. Yet I had seeped into his mind at night with dirty games... He had forced himself into the bathroom.
When he sat down fully, I ordered him to move. It was clear how difficult it was for him; he was drenched in sweat. After trying to get used to his surroundings for a few seconds, he shook his head gently and rose slowly. “Like this?”
“Yes, beautiful…” I replied, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Exactly like that. Keep going.”
My omega jumped into my lap. Smiling to myself as I imagined what I would do to him, I felt Jimin moan loudly and wake me up. His neck veins stood out, his whole body was covered in sweat, and his nipples had hardened. While it was snowing outside, freezing everything around us, we were burning each other up.
In just a few minutes, he had melted in my lap, breathing rapidly and begging helplessly. I grabbed his chin and squeezed, waiting until he looked at me. “Shh... What do you want? Say it clearly.”
After jumping on my groin a few more times, he started crying. “Hard…” he said in broken sentences. “Be hard... fuck me hard.” He sobbed, scratching my skin with his nails as he rose and fell again. But he had lost control and couldn't continue.
I had lost control too, unable to endure it any longer.
The overwhelming scent enveloping me was overwhelming my senses. Ren… Each time I inhaled, I felt sick. Yoongi was much better at this than I was; he loved Ren… He practically worshipped him. Yet he was a wolf. I had to endure it. Wolves don't like Ren. They'd run away from him. But that wouldn’t stop me. I accepted everything about him, endured everything and embraced him completely. As blurry, indistinct scenes flashed through my mind, I managed not to get lost in them. I started bouncing him on my thighs as though I were holding Jimin. With each thrust, he let out little screams and pulled my hair. His neck fell back. This time, I reached out and bit his neck, kissing and sucking it and leaving my mark. A few seconds later, he came, unable to scream, and collapsed onto my sweaty chest, trembling violently. But I wasn't done yet.
I didn't wait for him to recover from that orgasm. I was a wolf and acted like one, grabbing him and throwing him onto the mat before climbing on top of him. As my wild side took over, all the anger and hatred in my veins suddenly surged. I couldn't figure out who or what I was angry at.
‘I wish I weren't like this’ I thought. 'Then everything would be easier for both of us.'
As the breeze from the lake caressed our skin, it plucked a blue flower. 'If I were harmless like them, maybe you wouldn't be afraid to be with me.'
‘Who said I was afraid to be with you?’
‘Don't lie to me — your eyes give everything away.’
Yes, he knew. I was lying. I couldn’t accept the existence that was completely opposite to mine.
After spreading his legs wide apart, I closed in on Jimin’s trembling body and entered him forcefully. He let out a loud moan as if he didn’t know what had hit him. I held his head and stroked his hair, wanting him to look into my eyes. As I moved inside him forcefully, he writhed on the cushions, but he couldn’t move much as I didn't give him any room to escape. For a moment, when our eyes met, I saw him.
His eyes were filled with tears as he gazed at me with fiery red-and-gold eyes. I felt as though I were looking at myself again. “Coward” he spat. “You ruined us.”
“You can’t blame me for everything…” I replied, though I no longer knew whose voice it was inside me. Everything felt like a nightmare, but what a beautiful one it was. “You got what you wanted. You knew I’d come after you.”
He laughed, but his smile was cut short when I thrust into him roughly. When I reached out and bit his neck, he scratched my back from top to bottom with his nails. I hissed — the leg he had thrown around my waist had knocked me off balance. Now he was on top of me. When he placed his hands on my chest and started jumping on my lap, I thought, 'This is it.' He was my angel of death.
“Give me your knot.” He commanded. Sitting on top of me, he looked so fierce that I would have given him anything he wanted. “Or are you afraid?”
“Even if you were Death itself, I’d run to you.” I replied. With a sudden move, I pinned him down again, locking his hands above his head. “You know I'm always coming.”
“But you're always late.” He said. As I neared the end, my penis began to swell inside him and I couldn't hold the knot any longer. “This will hurt a bit…” I said. He laughed. “You’re late again. You’re always the same… You always warn me after everything’s over.” He let out a small laugh, broke free from my grip and gently slapped my face, leaving me stunned.
He wanted me to ruin him.
Hadn’t that been all we’d been doing this whole time?
“You’re a complete fool…” He said. “You’re always a few steps behind me. Admit it.”
As my frustration mounted, I grabbed his leg and threw it over my shoulder to get a better position. “Take it all…” I said, not paying attention to him. “Don’t waste any of it.” As I pressed harder, I heard Jimin moan deeply.
It was our first time knotting. As I poured everything I had into him, he held his breath and waited. It was a difficult moment for both of us. It could take an alpha's knot a few seconds or minutes to form. I was so full of him that I had no idea how long it would take mine to form. When my penis had swelled completely and forced its way in, another small moan escaped his lips. “You hurt me.” he said. I immediately apologised.
In that primal moment, we just stared at each other, locked together. “Almost there…” I assured him, though I wasn't sure. The knot had completely closed the entrance and we were trapped inside each other. Finally, unable to hold back any longer, I bowed my head and moaned. It felt like an endless orgasm.
“I want our children…” He said in a frenzied voice. “You promised me. That’s why I got into heat.”
As I stroked his cheek, I promised, “We'll have children… A lot of them. I won't deprive you of them. I’ll keep my promise.”
“Let's have five…” He said, trying to move his hips. “Or six... Mmm! Let's fill our nest with them!” He let out a small cry, threw his head back and said, “I'm coming!”
My wrists ached and started to tremble from holding my hands on either side of him for so long. I was afraid to breathe, hoping everything would go perfectly. When his leg started to fall, I changed our position, lying on my side on the cushions and pulling him closer to me. This was a warmer, more intimate and intense position. As I began to lick his neck, red from my bite, Jimin moaned. “Come for your Alpha.”
“Let’s complete the mark.”
“Everything in order.” Despite my own personal struggles, I was more focused than my omega, and as a wolf, I knew better than anyone what was best for him. I was his soulmate — how could I not know?
“I feel like I’m going to split in two.” He squeezed my upper arm so hard that his fingers left marks. At the same time, he was trying to pull me closer, and my knot was so swollen that I was starting to feel the same way. I was struggling not to go mad. It was so hard.
“Don’t be afraid, I won’t hurt you.” When I bit the skin I had been licking to mark it, we both moaned hoarsely at the same time — from the pleasure of the knot and the marking. Our scents lingered in the air for a while. Jimin started trembling; he had reached the peak again. When I touched his penis and pulled, he screamed and tears soon soaked his face. “Don’t leave me…” He said, sobbing. “Don't ever leave me.”
“Never.” I promised. By the end of the minute, we were both exhausted. My omega lay sprawled on the cushions as if he had lost himself. When I found him again, I would let him mark me — and of course I would mark him too. A real mark. Then stupid Yoongi would understand what he was feeling and what he had lost when he bound him with a half-mark.
I didn't stop kissing the scent gland or rubbing my teeth against it for a moment. His skin had turned slightly red. When my knot finally began to shrink, I exhaled. Even as I slowly withdrew from him, he was so sensitive that he sobbed and cried. His body was drenched in sweat, reddened and sensitive. Even if it killed me, I would give him time to rest. I took the white bearskin from the chair, wrapped it around his sweaty body, snuggled up to him and covered us both. I kissed his forehead. “Is it over?” He murmured wearily. “Was that all?”
“We're just getting started…” I replied calmly, having calmed down after the storm. For now, at least. “But now you need to sleep and gather your strength, Omega.”
And so, we surrendered ourselves to sleep.
*****
Days, hours, minutes — none of it meant anything to me. But when I opened my eyes, the absence of sunlight streaming through the window told me it was evening. My stomach felt heavy, as if there were a large stone inside it. My head was spinning slightly and the blood in my veins was pounding violently.
Then I saw my omega sleeping on his side, leaning against my outstretched arm. I didn’t know how long my arm had been in that position, but I did know how much I loved him. He was covered in the white fur I had hunted for him and the fire had gone out. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought to relight it. Thoughtfulness was usually Yoongi's domain, but he had rarely shown it to his omega. How foolish. Sometimes I felt like grabbing him by the throat and shaking him hard. But I didn’t know how. Despite thinking Yoongi was weak, I had never learned to stand up to him.
Even now, I knew he was trying to worm his way into my mind. He was my conscience, and I was his dark subconscious. I was the embodiment of all his nightmares, the truths he feared facing, and the grave he had buried himself in. I was the recipient of all his regrets and guilt. I pushed Yuna, Hyuna and all the other candidates who desired him away. Perhaps I even caused the omega's death.
I don't regret it. No one should touch what belongs to my omega. Everyone should pay the price.
Reaching out to my omega, I pulled him close, and he rested his face on my chest. My arm was numb. With a small murmur, he wrapped his arm around my waist and tried to squeeze his legs between mine, as if he wanted to tear through my skin and enter me.
How could he not want it?
I had taken away his identity, leaving him far, far away from me, alone and experiencing things he should never have experienced, walking paths he should never have walked. Finding him had cost me a lifetime. Yet he had always believed he was lost.
If only Yoongi knew all this, too. If only we could be freed from the curse God placed upon us, bending our necks. If only we could speak, and if only they would listen in silence. Neither I nor the omega could speak. When it came to explaining things, neither Yoongi nor Jimin could hear us.
We couldn’t defy fate – I had learned that by now.
When I summoned the wolf inside Jimin, my one and only omega, that's why our reunion was so profound. We had unfinished business with each other and questions with no answers. We put everything aside and embraced each other. After all, it was a longing that transcended time.
“I’m hungry.”
“Alright…” I said, “Let’s get to work then.” As I placed my hand on his hip and gripped his skin with my fingers, he giggled and tapped my chest. “No… I’m really hungry, Yoonie. Can’t you hear the growling from my stomach?”
I immediately placed my hand on his flat stomach and shook my head seriously, “No, all I hear is the murmurs of our little ones…”
He laughed and then tilted his head back, looking at me intently. “Give me your knot again.”
“I was wondering when you’d ask,” I said, holding his chin. “Gladly. But let’s feed that beautiful belly first.” It was pitch black inside, but my vision had sharpened. “There should be rabbits around here somewhere.”
“Mhmm,” he said, licking his lips. “I want it.”
“Cooked or raw?”
“You don’t expect me to tear apart a raw rabbit with human teeth, do you?”
“I wish we could change.”
“Let’s not go that far,” he said jokingly. “Besides, this warm house is more comfortable than the forests.”
“You’ve really gotten used to domesticity,” I teased, because I would have loved to see him in his beautiful wolf form.
“You know I can’t transform,” he said, closing the subject. Omegas always transformed more slowly and painfully than Alphas, and at some point they had relinquished their nature and undergone the change. But when it came to the beautiful wolf in front of me, everything was different.
I left him on the cushions, stood up naked and walked straight to the kitchen to remove the rabbits from the table. “How many do you want?”
“All of them.”
As I was about to go outside with the rabbits and a knife, I realised I wasn't wearing any clothes, but I didn't care. Out of respect for my human side, though, I put on a pair of dark hunting trousers and went out with my upper body bare. “You keep sleeping. I’ll wake you when I’m ready.”
As the pain in my groin resurfaced, I tried to stay calm and started cleaning the rabbits’ fur by the stream in front of the house. My movements were rough and forceful; I was in a hurry. At the same time, I was excited because I would be filling his beautiful stomach with rabbits that I had hunted myself. After a while, my heightened senses allowed me to smell and hear people passing by the house. I perceived each of them as a threat and increased my pheromones to make it clear that entry into this area was prohibited. Eventually, all traces disappeared and the wolves sensed the threat and moved away from the area.
It would be good if everyone in the pack knew who I was because I would do anything for my omega. This was especially true of those who looked at him sideways, touched him and tried to take advantage of him. Yoongi had neglected me and no one knew who we were. We were far from ordinary alphas. It would be good if he understood that, too.
As I finished cleaning the three rabbits, I was reminded of the incident that had happened in the village square a few days ago. I had driven Yoongi crazy that day. He had agreed with me. The alpha who had touched our omega’s flowers and hurt him. If I had had even the slightest doubt that Yoongi and he had a good relationship and were at peace...
As I furiously cleaned the last rabbit, I felt movement behind me. I turned around quickly, holding a sharp knife. I saw Jimin approaching me barefoot and wearing the fur he had taken. As soon as he saw the knife, he asked, “What’s that? Are you going to kill me?”
I laughed it off, but his words struck a chord inside me. When my omega came over and hugged me tightly, I stuck the knife in the ground and picked up the cleaned rabbits. “When will you be done? I'm bored.”
“It’s almost done. Go inside.” When I stood up, he didn’t let go of me. “No way.”
“You’re naked.”
“I have my fur coat...”
Unable to argue with him, I wrapped my arm around his body, lifted him up and started carrying him inside like a piece of luggage. He giggled.
“Sit down.” I sat him on one of the chairs and covered him with his fur coat. “Don’t move.”
“Yoonie…”
As I walked away, I clenched my teeth. There was such a captivating aura around him...
“Even though you're in rut, you can resist me…” He said from behind me. “You’re strong-willed.”
“One of us has to keep a clear head, at least, if we’re going to eat.”
“Wait, are you Yoongi?” He chuckled mischievously. “He took such good care of me during my first heat, and now you’re trying to be like him—you copycat alpha.”
I clenched my teeth. “I’m what Yoongi is.”
“Then why does he always talk about you as if you’re a part of him he doesn’t like?”
I didn’t answer. I had just started roasting the rabbits over the fire when he crept up behind me like a sly fox and began kissing my bare chest. “Take care of me.”
“Aren’t you hungry?” I sighed and pulled him towards me, holding him close while the rabbits continued to roast on the left.
“What about you?”
“I'm hungry for you…” I said, reaching out to take a passionate kiss from his lips. Then again, harder. He murmured and lowered his hands to my crotch. Suddenly, he knelt down in front of me.
Looking up at me with mischievous eyes, he stroked his hair. “I have a promise gift for you…” he said. “I gave it to you when I was in heat.”
“What was it?” I knew what it was — that offer had driven me crazy — but Yoongi hadn't let him. Stupid… How often does such an opportunity come along?
After laughing mischievously, he grabbed my bulging trousers. “Do it.” I commanded. “Since you want to. This time, you can be sure I won’t stop you.”
“This is wonderful…” He said, licking his full, beautiful lips.
I had promised Jimin that I wouldn’t hurt him, and it would soon become clear whether or not I had kept that promise. Standing before me now was a wolf completely overcome by his instincts. He couldn’t resist me. As I stroked the hair at the back of his neck, I said hoarsely, “You’re my omega.”
Without further ado, the omega pulled down my trousers, slipped his hand into my underwear and gripped my growing penis with his small fingers. He gave me a sly look. “You're always ready for me…” He said. I smiled. “I’m trying to be worthy of my omega.”
The scene before my eyes was breathtakingly beautiful. My beautiful omega, the one I had dedicated my life to and lost suddenly, was holding my penis and playing with it.
Struggling not to press myself against him, I watched as Omega gently touched the tip of my twitching member with his tongue, as if trying to get used to what he was doing. I couldn’t help but think of Jimin. But this was Yoongi's business. When he slowly took me into his mouth, I smiled and encouraged him, saying, “Good… Keep going….” Then I grabbed the long, blonde hair at the back of his neck and pushed him towards my groin. He made a muffled sound — now I was in his throat. “M-mhm. That's it.”
As he let out incomprehensible moans, I couldn’t believe that I was inside his warm mouth. When he pulled back and licked the tip seductively, savouring the fluid dripping from the corner of his lips, I couldn’t help but moan.
“How is it? Do you like it?”
Just as I was about to nod in response, he touched the tip of my penis with his teeth. I was shocked, but he was smiling. He had done it on purpose. “Right now, while you’re at my mercy, look how pitiful you are.”
“Don’t say things you’ll regret, because in all our other moments, you’ll be at my mercy too.”
As my penis twitched violently, he pulled me towards him, placing wet kisses on my groin as he did so. Had we ever shared a more intimate moment? “I know how merciless you are. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, little alpha.”
Before I could respond, he took me into his mouth again and my mind went blank. For a while, I had to think with my lower half instead of my brain, and I treated him quite roughly. After several minutes of pleasurable torture, I climaxed violently, trembling and almost losing myself. Jimin was exhausted too. I was consumed with the desire to care for him. When I embraced him and said, “You’ve given me the most beautiful moments of my life…” He wrapped his legs tightly around my waist. “There will be a price to pay for this.” His face was flushed, with beads of sweat forming on his forehead; his voice was hoarse and raspy. I wished I hadn’t pushed him so hard.
What on earth was this? Why was I thinking of the person in front of me as human? I wouldn't harm the spirit I was married to. I would protect and cherish it. When the time came, it would turn into a body that I could treat however I wanted. That was how it was for the wolves. We were all primitive, after all.
But I guess I wasn’t like them. Perhaps it had something to do with those who wrote our fate, and the fate of those unknown to us.
Or maybe it was Yoongi’s voice I heard. Could we finally be starting to accept each other? Were the waters between us calming down and peace being made?
“You’ve zoned out again.”
“Did you say something?”
“I’m still so hungry...”
“What?” I said, surprised. When I sat him down on the ground, I said, “Rabbits…” and remembered. “They must be cooked.”
“Rabbits would be nice after you.”
“You’re so annoying…” I said, wrinkling my nose.
He licked his lips wildly and then downed a large glass of water. “Give me food.”
“Okay, wait….” I ran to catch four rabbits and returned to our spot by the fire. I tossed the roasted rabbits in front of him. “Eat.”
As I watched him sit cross-legged and devour the food, I felt full in his place. Holding the rabbit in both hands, he tore it in two with his teeth and I commanded, “Eat it all. Don’t leave any.” He was so delicate and slender that I could have fed him all day. “How did you survive all these years?”
He began chewing the fresh meat, his lips and jaw glistening with the poor animal’s fat, and replied in a surprised and offended voice. “What does that mean?”
“You’re very thin…”
“Shut up! I survived on my own.”
“How did you do it?” I admired him; I even worshipped him.
“It wasn't easy, but it was worth it to be with you.” After swallowing another large piece, he drank thirstily from the water I had brought with me. “You should eat too.”
Watching him eat made me hungry, so I ate one of the ones I had cooked. To be honest, my stomach was so empty that nothing could fill it. I needed him. Still, I wanted him to be happy. When I asked if he liked it, he shook his head, his eyes fixed on the other rabbits.
A little while later, after I had eaten some of my first rabbit, he asked, “Are you going to eat any more of them?” I shook my head, pushing what I had in my hand, along with the other rabbits, in front of him. “I'm quite hungry…” He continued. “I don't usually eat this much.”
He probably wouldn't have normally, but he was in heat now. At least as much as I was.
“Enjoy your meal. Eat quickly and gather your strength. I’m very hungry too.”
He looked at me through his long eyelashes and just smiled.
Notes:
helloo!! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, can’t wait to read your comments💗
Chapter 25: Yoonie
Chapter Text
- “This lust is a burden we both share: two sinners who cannot atone for their sins with a single prayer. Our souls are bound to each other, intertwined with pride and guilt.”
My omega knew no bounds.
Today was the third day of my heat, and for the first time, I felt truly free in a body that had previously confined and suppressed me. I had finally managed to push Yoongi into the background of my life, and I was certain that my beloved omega had played a significant role in this transformation. After all, thanks to me, he had entered into heat and shed his human identity.
We witnessed first-hand what happens when two wild wolves share a space.
If you ask me, I would transform into wolf form with my omega, find a secluded cave that caught my eye and spend all my time with my soulmate. I was doing everything I could while I was alive in human form. For three days, I couldn't see anyone but him. He was the only person in my life and my existence had meaning because of him. Everything was so beautiful that I couldn't imagine leaving him to return to Yoongi's dark world. But if Jimin wanted me to, I would go back.
Even if it would upset him… Because I know everything. I am his soulmate, Yoonie. I am the guardian of his precious soul, his other half and his loyal servant. When fate suddenly separated us, I was a pitiful creature, riddled with mistakes and convinced that I would never be able to look into his eyes again.
Nevertheless, I must give credit where it's due — what was going on in Yoongi's mind during our passionate encounter was extremely helpful to me. Thanks to Yoongi, I was able to hold Jimin, who is such a delicate and fragile thing, in my hands. He's a bird with broken wings. A bird waiting for me to heal him — yet he is the one I hurt the most. When I look at him, my heart aches, and that has nothing to do with our relationship.
How can I be away from him?
Yoongi should know by now, but the path to knowledge isn't easy. Damn it, it isn't. It seems that the fate that separates us and the great mistakes we've made have made God our enemy, refusing to forgive either of us. Who is suffering more? Which of us will suffer more?
From this point on, everything depends on Yoongi. We cannot speak until he gives his heart's seal to the omega who unlocked it. Yoongi's path lies in dreams. He must confront his inner demons and surrender to fate. He has only one big, painful battle left. One last time. He must succeed. I can't lose my soulmate again. I can't bear the unknown again. If things don't go as we want them to, I'll do whatever it takes. If necessary, I'll take on God himself.
Enough was enough…
My omega stretched out on my left, seeming to wake up from his beautiful hours-long sleep. He was perfect from head to toe, completely naked. Even if I searched for forty years, I wouldn't find a single flaw in him. And those flowers... they drove me crazy. My teeth itched every time I looked at him. With his long, wavy hair; silky skin; long eyelashes; and full lips, he is the most beautiful omega in the world.
Just before he woke up completely, I threw some large logs onto the dying fire and lay down beside him again. After spending the whole day and night rolling around the living room and leaning against various walls, the place was a mess. All of the crystal glassware in the small wooden cabinet on the left had been shattered and was scattered across the floor. This had happened after our wrestling-like lovemaking last night. Jimin was terribly upset, but my omega didn't care; he even liked it. “Let's get wilder…” He said shamelessly. Then, when I leaned him against the wall and entered him hard, the paintings on the wall were also smashed. My omega grinned, appreciating the mess we had created. The bill for all this would come later.
Without thinking about cleaning up, we moved on to a calmer final lovemaking session by the fire. Afterwards, Jimin curled up against my chest and fell asleep. I hadn't looked at anything else for hours, not even sleep.
I had to mark him now. Each time he begged me, I silenced him with my knot, but we were both incomplete and needed to be whole. I didn’t know how I’d managed to go three days without marking him — my consciousness wasn't my own. I was just a wolf, driven by desire and deep anger. Ultimately, it was Yoongi’s sharp mind that controlled me.
At first, he couldn’t do it, and now he was stopping me. Damn it! What did he want? How were we going to face my omega? Nothing could stop me when it came to the knot, and I had given it to my omega countless times. So why did I freeze when it came to the mark that would make us whole — the mark I had promised?
As long as you want to know something enough, there is an answer to everything.
“Is it morning?”
It was my omega's sleepy, hoarse voice that brought me back to reality. “Yes…” I replied, turning to face him and pulling him closer with my arm, which was serving as a pillow under his head. Who would hold him like this in the mornings when I had to leave? Would Yoongi do it? “Good morning, beautiful…”
He smiled slightly and rubbed his eyes. The scent emanating from him was still quite intense. My omega was here, looking at me with those eyes. Those hungry eyes. “Shall we make love?”
“I'm up for it.”
“But you're not giving me the mark…” He complained, throwing his fur coat aside as he stood up and walked around the room, showing off his beautiful, full hips and long legs. He seemed to be looking for something. “It's as if I want your life…”
“If you wanted it, I'd give my life to you.”
“Get lost, liar…” He ran his fingers through his hair, which fell over his shoulders, and tied it into a small bun on top of his head with a hairpin that he found under the pillow. “You’re completely full of it.”
“You’re breaking my heart…” I said, leaning on my wrist and watching him. He was so beautiful, even when he was angry with me.
“You’re brushing me off. What's your purpose?” When he furrowed his brows and looked straight into my eyes, I had nowhere to hide. “Am I a child? I'm a wolf. A wolf in heat. The soulmate you've refused to mark for months…”
“Calm down…” I said soothingly. “Did you see a mark in your dream? You scolded me as soon as you woke up. I'm just waiting for the right moment. This is a special moment for me. I want to achieve what Yoongi couldn't in the most beautiful way.”
In a way, that was true. I could be waiting for the right moment, too. But I wasn’t sure if there would ever be a time when we were both wild wolves.
My omega must have been cold because he put on a pair of short, lacy shorts and one of my tattered shirts, then sighed. His scent had become slightly unpleasant. I immediately got up, stood behind him and kissed the back of his neck. “Are you mad at me?”
He just shrugged. “Yes. Yes, completely.”
“You're right. I made a mistake…” I would die of guilt if he were angry with me. I pulled him towards me. “Yoongi just won't leave me alone.”
“You always blame him.”
“But it's true.”
“When will you two ever get along?” He looked at me through his long eyelashes and pouted. “Jimin and I are a great duo. He doesn't say a word when I take the lead for the first two days of the heat. You two are always fighting. Like children.”
“You know the truth...”
“Sometimes I think I don't know anything…” He said, walking past me into the kitchen. “I haven't eaten anything since yesterday; I'm starving.”
Immediately, I felt a sense of duty. As I reached for one of the knives, my omega warned, “Don't even think about it.”
I put the sharp knife I had picked up back on the wooden table. “But why? There's great hunting out there. I can smell a big deer.”
“'The human body needs more than just meat!”
“But aren't rabbits delicious?”
“Are you trying to wipe out the animal population?” He snapped, frowning. I sighed and asked, “So, what are we going to eat?”
When he rummaged around and found a bowl of rice, the musty smell made my stomach turn. “Ew, I wouldn't even touch that.”
This time, he pulled a potato out from under his arm. I shook my head and shrugged. “I'd never eat such nonsense. I'm a wolf, not a dog.”
“We're in human bodies, you know?”
“So what?” I retorted. He slapped my bare chest. “Stop whining. Yoongi's a great cook; you should try it too.”
I gripped the knife handle again, my eyes sparkling. “I know a great recipe!”
“What is it?”
“Listen. I'll go outside, set a trap in the forest, catch a young deer and slit its throat.”
“Ugh! Stop it!”
“Are you sure you're a wolf?” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m offering you a solution, but all you do is make things harder. Plus, you're always scolding me.”
When I pouted — it always worked — my omega approached me, stood on his tiptoes and rubbed his nose against mine, creating an intimate moment. “I'm not scolding you,' he said. 'Do you want to hunt for your omega that badly?”
“Very much...”
“How much?”
“Extremely much…” My partner murmured softly when I rubbed my nose against his and intensified my scent. “Alright...” The sails were finally lowered into the water. Well done, Yoonie — I did well! “Alright, but I'm only giving you half an hour. If you're even a minute late, I won't let you in...”
“Really?” I must have looked like I was shooting stars out of my eyes. In half an hour, I could probably hunt down the whole world. But I just couldn't go too far for the white bear. I'd save that for later though. I was ready to transform into my wolf form. My blood was boiling.
Before he could say ‘Yes', I walked out of the door, transformed and lifted my head to howl, feeling a sense of relief take over my body.
Now it was time to hunt...
When he said, 'Go find some delicious food for your omega,' I approached him. He was still practically naked, shivering in front of the door. As I tried to push him inside, he crouched down to my level and stroked me. Perhaps it was the first time he had seen my wolf form. I let out a whimpering sound when he stroked my mottled, reddish fur. After looking at him one more time, I ran towards the forest and disappeared from view.
*****
I didn't know what half an hour meant exactly. We wolves had no sense of time. That's why I hurried. The forest was quiet, and the scent of the deer I had just caught had faded. However, the tantalising scent of various prey in the village was enough to tempt me. After Jimin went inside, I snuck into the village from behind. There were too many wolves around. They couldn't catch me while they were in human form, so I knew this was my chance. After wandering around for a while, I spotted a makeshift hut on the outskirts of the village and saw a large rooster outside the chicken coop devouring its feed.
The firethorn bushes I was hiding behind provided good cover, but just as I was about to pounce on the animal, a child ran down the stairs and startled me. Fortunately, he left soon after and I was able to continue. I ignored my rumbling stomach and, before the rooster could react, I pounced and killed it with my claws.
But that wasn't enough for us.
What was left of the half hour? How much time had passed since the howling started? I killed another chicken in the coop and ran into the forest with my prey, trying not to cause any more commotion. I became the happiest wolf in the world when I happened to come across a wild goose drinking water from the river on the way. Wild geese rarely came down to the forest, only when they were very hungry. Their meat was so delicious that we wolves lived in anticipation of it. Hunting for my omega was a completely different pleasure. I couldn't miss my chance. I pounced on the fat goose with its large, shiny feathers before it could fly away, dispatch it quickly, and return to the den with my fresh prey.
Just as I was about to turn around at the door, my omega must have caught my scent, because he came out looking stern. “It's been an hour. I'm not letting you in.”
But when he saw me covered in goose feathers, he burst out laughing. Feeling offended, I quickly turned around, picked up my prey from the ground and held it up to his face. “Here…”
“You…” He said immediately after noticing the chickens. “Did you steal something from the humans?”
"No…" I said, averting my eyes. “They were just wandering around.”
“Yoonie! If the villagers find out, they'll be very angry with us.”
“Don't worry, I was careful, no one saw me.”
“Just because they were wandering around doesn't mean you can hunt them!”
“I found the goose in the forest…” I said, holding the large bird by its legs and shaking it. “Delicious, isn't it?”
After pulling me inside by the wrist and hugging the goose, his eyes shining with hunger, he said, “Let's eat them…”
“That's my omega…” I said, following him.
“Jimin and Yoongi are going to kill us…” He said, plucking the goose's feathers.
“It'll be fine…” I reassured him.
*****
In the evening, we cooked the goose and chickens over the fire. After eating most of them, our stomachs were so full that we didn't have the energy to move. We dozed off in front of the fire, trying to digest our meal. When the sun set and darkness fell, I woke up and snuggled up to my omega. He was sleeping peacefully with the tip of his thumb between his lips. I didn't know why he was doing this, but when I licked his nose, lips and chin to wake him up, he woke up tickled. “Mhmm...”
“Wake up…”
“What happened?” He took his hand away from his mouth and stretched mischievously. The fireplace had gone out, the kitchen was a mess and the floor was covered in the goose's white feathers. “Did you like the goose?”
“Is that why you woke me up?” He grumbled. Then he rubbed his stomach. “It was delicious... Very tasty.”
“See, I told you. Hunting is always better than eating those stupid vegetables.”
“Shut up! You won't be hunting again; you promised.”
I was already at the end of my tether. But I didn't say that straight away. It would have been too hurtful.
After my mate got up and stretched, he asked in a measured voice, “Shall we go to our room?” It was the first time he had used that word. Our room. I looked at him and saw that the colour of his eyes was beginning to fade, giving way to his natural colour. No way... He was leaving. I grabbed his wrist, pulled him towards me and hugged him tightly. “What's happening?” He said, surprised.
“Our heat is ending…”
“So let's make love! Give me your knot again, and your mark too. Let's not leave it to chance. We need a baby.”
He spoke sweetly into my ear, but I pulled away and pressed my lips against his delicious, full mouth. When I gently bit his lower lip, he pushed me away. Then we stood up and went into his room, his most private space. It smelled like us. It was probably the cleanest place in the house. Even the white, floral sheets were neatly spread out on the wide bed. I examined the wooden fox on top of the small drawers in the corner.
“Jimin loves it very much…”
I carefully replaced it and sat on the bed. “This is so comfortable. Why did we sleep on those hard planks?”
My mate pushed me down onto my back, sat on my thighs and asked, playfully, “When will you mark me?”
“Right now…” I replied, gripping his thighs. “Now…”
“Don't dawdle.” As he bent down to suck on the skin of my neck, I grabbed his leg firmly and pulled him down on top of me. This time it would happen. The time was right. I was in my omega's room, on his bed. I was in control now. I had to pull myself together; otherwise, I would embarrass myself in front of Yoongi.
I clenched my teeth. They were starting to sharpen. Good. I leaned over my omega, threw one of his legs over my waist and started sucking his ear. I had to cover every inch of him in kisses. I couldn't leave a single spot unkissed. As I sucked his sweet breasts and moved down to his groin before slowly entering him, he did nothing but moan hoarsely. These unions, which we had experienced repeatedly in different positions over the last three days, felt better each time. I was addicted to him and his worshipful body.
When I pulled his sweat-soaked, golden-blonde hair and thrust myself into him once more, the knot inside me swelled, perhaps for the last time, binding us together.
It was the perfect moment…
My teeth were sharp, my eyes fixed on the target. Right there, just below his ear and beside his carotid artery was that delicate, warm skin. One bite and we would be bound to each other forever. I would do what Yoongi couldn't. That idiot had dared to hurt my omega by marking him incompletely. How could he do this to our omega, to his own omega?
Trembling with rage, I buried my face in his neck. My omega begged, “Mark me…” Tears filling his eyes. “Please mark me now…”
Now. How many centuries of suffering had I put him through? Suddenly finding myself surrounded by human feelings, I became overwhelmed and my hands and feet became tangled. As the knot squeezed the walls and pinned me to him, my vision blurred and my stomach churned. “Jimin…” I said. I felt like someone who had finally surfaced after being underwater for minutes. Everything became clear.
When the fiery red gaze from the rope I was clinging to turned into a look of warm compassion, I suddenly felt like crying. I am fully myself now. I have taken myself back from myself.
I turned around.
When Jimin's small fingers gripped the wrists that I was squeezing on either side, I blinked. He didn't take his eyes off mine, and when a tear rolled down his eyelashes, I raised my trembling hand to wipe it away. “Mark…” He begged again. “Please. Yoonie.”
I pressed my finger to his lips and slid it downwards. “ Yoongi…” I said, leaning in close to his ear. “Yoongi is here…”
Seeing him cry even more made me stop, though. As the knot inside him began to unravel, I pressed down on the wolf buried deep within me and locked him in his imaginary den. I gave him enough time. He must have forgotten who the master here is. “It’s me…” I pulled my gaze away from Jimin’s eyes and fixed it on the spot where I would leave a mark. Whatever I did wrong the first time, I would fix it now.
I must be the one to correct this mistake. I value Jimin too much to let my wolf take this moment. For the first two days, I couldn't control my wolf at all, let alone read its name. But on the third day, I managed to hold it back, even though it was difficult.
When I rubbed my teeth against Jimin's neck, which was covered in red marks, he lifted his hips to press himself against me harder, scratching my back from top to bottom as he did so. “Please…” He whispered.
He's going mad for my mark…
I’m going mad for him…
Finally, my teeth found their target and, a moment later, the overwhelming, shattering beauty of the red flower scent filled my nose — the most beautiful in the world. I’m addicted to him. The bitter taste in my mouth comes from the blood dripping from the bite. It's an animalistic instinct. It still gnaws at me. I remained motionless for a few seconds, gently rubbing my tongue against his wound as I had hurt him the first time. Jimin must not have felt any pain, though, because he continued to moan with pleasure, his fingers clutching my skin tightly.
A few minutes later, I pulled my lips and teeth away from the thin skin just below his ear and examined the damage I had caused.
A perfect mark…
Now we are truly bound to each other…
I belong to him, and he belongs to me. Forever... Anyone who approaches him will know what they are up against. They will be careful about who they look at and touch, and whose omega they are.
I licked my lips and looked at him; he looked at me. From this moment on, words are unnecessary. I fixed my gaze on his beautiful red lips, which seemed made for kissing. I couldn't believe I had ignored them for so long. It was impossible. I swallowed hard and leaned towards his lips. Jimin tried to lift his head slightly to meet me halfway, and when his hands found the hair at the nape of my neck, I knew he was ready for this, too. His eyes shone with tears like a galaxy. I was still inside him and he held me with all his warmth and tenderness.
I kissed him. Our lips met in perfect harmony, and the moment was so special and pleasant that I closed my eyes and drifted into a dream world. It didn't feel real. How could kissing someone who had made me so angry, sad and disappointed feel so good? I couldn't believe it.
This prompted me to deepen the kiss. It felt as though this touch were my birthright and I were a creditor who had come to collect what was mine. It felt like home. When he parted his lips wide, I did the same, pinching his lower lip between my teeth and pulling on it. His soft moan further enlivened my spirit. After slipping my tongue into his mouth, I moved closer to him. “Yoongi…” He said breathlessly, pulling back as if he had come a long way. When a tear rolled down his cheek, he took a deep breath and said, “You're here. You came…” His fingertips touched my cheeks softly.
“I came… ” I said. I had never wanted to be with him more.
As he trembled and writhed, releasing himself onto his stomach, I slid inside him one last time and did the same. At that moment, I realised what I had done. I had come inside him. Throwing myself trembling beside him, I felt my chest rise and fall rapidly as fragmented images flashed through my mind.
What had happened in all those moments when I wasn't there? Jimin had also went into heat, and we had lost all control. My heat must have triggered his. It felt like centuries had passed since the last day I could remember.
Had I done something to hurt him? Did he get along with my wolf, or did my wolf approach him as he did all omegas, as a rude and mean alpha?
I couldn't even ask him anything, let alone look him in the face. I wanted to bury my head in the sand. For a moment, I even considered calling my wolf again. But that thought only lasted a moment. I had spoiled my wolf enough. That would be enough for him for a lifetime. Yet I had lectured him many times about what I would do if he did something that Jimin didn't want. He was a wolf, after all, and of course he wouldn’t listen to a human when it came to instincts.
“Jimin-ah...” I said after what felt like hours. “I... I...” My throat was dry. “I think I knotted you. I mean, unintentionally... What am I saying? I'm so sorry for doing something you didn't want. If you want, we can see the healer right away.”
When there was no response, I turned my head, expecting to see anger in his eyes. But no — Jimin was lying on his back, his lips parted, fast asleep.
“Damn it…” I whispered, feeling sick inside. The wolf had already started to suffocate me. I blinked, propping myself up on my elbows to check if he was really asleep. He was indeed in a deep sleep. The mark was still there, and my omega's whole body was covered in sweat. His stomach was stained with our fluids.
I clenched my teeth. We had consumed him, and the wolf had left me nothing. It must have overwhelmed Jimin. What had they done that I couldn't? I hit myself on the head. “Remember!”
I must have raised my voice a little because Jimin stirred, turned towards me and sucked his thumb a few times.
I had seen this scene before...
I was too confused to process it. When the air coming in through the open window distracted me, I quickly got out of bed and closed the window. How many days had this window been left open? I went back and forth between checking the house and lying down next to Jimin several times. Then Jimin won out. It might have been better if I had been there when he woke up. Would our heat now follow the same pattern? If mine had passed, then his must have too, I thought. I knew of such couples. Even if they weren't soul mates, they were so compatible that their hearts beat in sync.
Were we really that kind of couple? It's surprising, because when we were together, we were like fire and gunpowder: we hurt each other, and then clung tightly to each other again. Our relationship was unique to us; it was like a strange stomach ache — once you got used to it, it was impossible to give up. It was like having butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
In the end, I went straight to bed and lay on my side of the mattress. It felt strange to be there, in our bed, where we had just made love slowly and passionately — not at all in a wolf-like way. For the first time in his bed. I marked him. We’re so far from where we started. As I tried to moisten my dry throat by swallowing, my eyes fell on his flowers. I couldn't resist. I moved closer to him, snuggled up to his naked body and wrapped my arm around his waist. I covered us both with a thin blanket. When he wakes up, he'll want to clean up; I feel like I've messed him up badly. His smooth, porcelain skin is now covered in bruises and red marks that won't disappear anytime soon.
If he accused me of using him brutally, he’d be right. But damn it, I lost control. What was I doing? I was hunting with a wild urge. The rest is fragmented: I remember broken glasses, dead rabbits, his spoiled giggle ringing in my ears and our moans intertwining.
But not a single word.
“Yoongi...” He said in his sleep. I replied immediately, “I'm here. Keep sleeping.”
After he placed his hand on mine at his waist, he went back to sleep, but I stayed there for a while longer, watching him.
I had kissed him…
The seal on my lips was broken and, for the first time, I revealed my sacred gate to someone. Even my heart.
I closed my eyes to this reality.
*****
‘As we travel across an endless expanse of water on a poorly constructed raft, the sky above us is a brilliant shade of blue. The summers here are always long, humid and oppressive, but today there is a special warmth in the air. Next to me, a burly man is struggling to catch the trout swimming in the water with an old fishing rod. The closer I look at his face, the more it blurs; it resembles a pitch-black silhouette.
Suddenly, I am drawn into the dark face I am looking at and find myself sinking to the bottom of the water, drowning, my screams of helplessness being swallowed by the water.
I think: my death has come. I still don't know who the man on the boat with me is. I flail my arms one last time as all the oxygen leaves my body.’
“Yoongi! Wake up!”
When I opened my eyes, I was covered in sweat. I looked at Jimin, unable to comprehend what was happening. “You had a bad nightmare…” He said anxiously, resting his warm hand on my face. “I had to yell at you to wake you up.”
“I'm sorry…” I said, my voice cracking. I must have screamed pretty loudly, as my vocal cords were sore. “It was just a silly dream…” I looked at him suspiciously. When I remembered what I had seen, I furrowed my eyebrows. It must have been one of the wolf's games, after I had subdued it when my heat had subsided.
“I'll get you some water.”
“No…” I said, wrapping my arm around his wrist. “Don't go…”
When he looked at my hand on his wrist in surprise, I felt embarrassed and pulled back. His lips came to mind. The lips I had kissed. My heart felt like it was being squeezed. The feeling had passed over me like a powerful seasonal storm. Its effects were still lingering.
“Okay, I won't go…” He gently pushed me away from his chest. When my head hit the pillow again, I let out the breath I hadn't realised I was holding. “Come on, go back to sleep.”
“What time is it?”
“I don't know…” He said, squinting and looking around. “The sun set a long time ago.”
“I scared you.” I said, hitting the pillow. “Lie down... It won't happen again.”
He did as I said, lying down with his face barely visible in the dark room. He turned towards me and smiled. “Maybe the nightmare fox visited you. My father used to say that.”
“Maybe…” I whispered, studying his face. I would give up many things to taste those lips again.
“Yoongi...” He said uncertainly.
“Hm?”
“You're really Yoongi, aren't you?”
“You’re as much Jimin as I am Yoongi.”
After a moment of silence, I confessed, “This... Is beautiful…” And my heart skipped a beat. “Did I upset you?” I asked.
He thought for a moment. “No…” He replied. “It was wonderful. I loved it.”
Ah! What a great success! How did I manage to defeat myself? Of course — by being so stupid. As my face fell, he continued. “But I love you more. My eyes always search for you.”
This warm confession took me by surprise, leaving my lips parted. A minute later, however, I was able to speak. “Hearing that... Is nice...”
“We both got into a heat at the same time. My head was spinning, too. I can’t remember much.”
“What a coincidence, me too.”
He fell silent, and I felt like a fish that had swallowed the bait.
Was the kiss from that moment, too? I was too shy to ask. After all, I had done it while I was myself. I kissed those lips. Knowingly and willingly.
“Goodnight, Yoongi. May the dream fox protect you…”
*****
Jimin was the first to wake up when the sun rose. I quickly opened my eyes when I heard the sound of something falling to the ground, and he looked at me sheepishly. He was still naked, having wrapped the sheets around himself. “Oh... I'm sorry...”
“I was already awake anyway.”
As he shook his head shyly and turned away, I realised that I was completely naked too. We both needed a good clean.
When Jimin opened the door and stood there motionless, I put on some sweatpants and followed him suspiciously. “Shit…” I said at the sight before me. “What happened here?”
“Ah…” He said, picking up the painting from the floor. His face fell. “My painting... it's ruined.” The large painting was covered in an unknown substance. I didn't even want to think about what it was.
I took it from him and examined it. “I've never seen this before…” I said. He gave me a brief explanation. “Yes, we made it together with your sister when you went to that pack... It was supposed to be a surprise.”
This was exactly the kind of thing my sister would do. But when I realised that the flowers were Jimin’s, the surprise became both amazing and heartbreaking. “Did you draw those blue flowers for me?”
“As much as I could… Yuri helped a lot.” He sighed and stroked the textured paper. “They have a name. You mentioned it.”
I couldn't help but respond, “Really?” I said in a low voice. I didn't remember.
“I guess you don't remember…” He said, his expectant expression fading. I wanted to hit myself for not remembering.
“Anyway, it doesn't matter…” He said, angrily taking the painting from my hand. “It's just trash anyway.”
I quickly stopped him. “No, don't be ridiculous. This is a beautiful painting.”
“They're just forget-me-nots that have no meaning to you.”
“Where did you get the idea that they have no meaning?” What had he said? “Forget-me-nots?”
He lowered his eyes. “Yes, that's what you said... The wolf said it.”
But how did he know things that I didn't? Had he researched plants that I hadn't even heard of? Unable to think of anything to say, I shook my head and said, “I'll clean it up. Don't even think about throwing it away.”
‘Forget-me-nots’ He said. Those small, ordinary, delicate flowers had a name — a name I would never have guessed. Determined to learn more, I wandered around the room. This revealed the damage we had done to the house. It looked so messy everywhere that we wouldn't be able to leave for three days. When I saw the white goose feathers scattered across the kitchen floor, I froze.
Just as I was about to ask my omega what had caused the mess, the doorbell rang insistently. I nodded slightly at my omega and told him to go to his room, as the smell coming from outside the door was unpleasant. When I opened the door, I saw Hwan, the Seons' younger son, standing in front of me, looking stern. Gripping the door handle tightly, I asked, “Hwan, what is it?”
He tried to stick his head inside and his face turned red. “You have something that belongs to us.” He said.
My blood boiled. “What are you talking about?” My hands and feet trembled with rage, as though the wolf had not yet left me. I pushed him away from my chest. “Can't you see there's an omega in heat in this house? How dare you walk in here!”
“They saw you, Yoongi! You stole our rooster and chickens from our coop. We have witnesses.”
“What?” I shouted. Humiliating scenes flashed before my eyes. “What are you talking about?” My voice wasn't as angry as before. I wanted to slam the door in his face and disappear from the face of the earth. This was a disgrace.
“Our dogs have also marked this house. I followed their scent and I'm sure the chickens are still inside somewhere. Do you have any idea how much those chickens cost? I can't believe you did this!”
“Enough!” I grabbed him by his shirt and shook him. My omega shouldn't hear this. “Shut up. I'll pay whatever it costs.” Then I pulled my hand back. “I'll talk to your father tomorrow and sort it out. You go home.”
“Is that even possible, Yoongisshi?”
I clenched my teeth and explained slowly, “You know about my issues with my wolf. He did it. I’m not going to break into your chicken coop and steal chickens. For Okami's sake! I don’t even remember!”
“I don't care about that.”
“It'd be best if you left before I lose my patience.” I said, slamming the door shut. I found Jimin staring at me with a flushed face. He was standing there anxiously with his hand over his lips. Damn it, he'd heard.
I leaned against the door and lowered my head.
“Are we in trouble?”
I pointed to the mess on the floor. “I can't believe my wolf! He stole the chickens from the stingiest man in the village! He must have lost his mind. As if there were no other people left!”
“So stealing chickens is normal now?”
“Of course not! How did this happen?” I paused. Jimin blushed even more. “I think my wolf asked him for it, so maybe it's possible... I'm so sorry.”
“They're an unbelievable pair…” I was so annoyed that I found myself laughing, and Jimin reacted the same way shortly after seeing me. “He stole chickens! That's unbelievable.”
Once we had stopped laughing, I started cleaning up the house, which was littered with broken glass. Jimin was walking around barefoot. I warned him. “Sit down; you'll get splinters in your feet. Stop walking around.”
“Ah! My favourite cups…” He said, bending over in front of the display case next to me, completely ignoring me. As he bent over, I had a flashback... I don't know if it was real or just my imagination, but a sharp pain shot through my groin.
“We'll buy new ones…” I said, flushing with embarrassment as I grabbed his wrist and pulled him up to sit on the couch. “Stay here and don't move.”
“But I’ll help. I’m partly to blame for this mess.”
“I’ll sweep it up right away.” I was just as obsessed with order as he was messy. After cleaning the floors to perfection in ten minutes, Jimin and I hung the fallen paintings back on the walls. The damage wasn’t severe. Only a few cups were broken.
Once we had finished tidying up the house, Jimin took the pot of water that he had heated on the stove. “Um...” He said, looking at me hesitantly. “I filled the bathtub... Get in before it cools down. I'll heat some water for myself too.”
“That'll take too long…” I said. One of us had to be brave. After doing so many things that we couldn’t put into words, feeling embarrassed didn’t seem very convincing.
I had kissed him… What else was there?
“The bathtub is big enough for us to wash together.”
When Jimin blushed up to his neck, I pressed further. “But if you don’t want to, that’s fine, of course.” Something inside me loved seeing him blush.
“No, it’s fine with me.”
“Then come with me…” When the two of us entered the small bathroom, I closed the door tightly behind us and let the water fill the tub. Even though the steamy bathroom reminded me of unpleasant things, they felt as distant as a million years ago. Mistakes had been made and lessons had been learned.
I quickly took off my clothes and put the white satin robe that Jimin had put on over his shoulders on over my own. When he looked at me meaningfully, I took his hand. Neither of us said anything. We stepped into the warm water, which was waiting to cleanse us, and sat down so that only our chests were visible. The water became a metaphor for washing away our mistakes.
Sitting opposite each other at opposite ends of the tub, our knees and legs brushed against each other. After reaching out to grab the soap, I began to lather it up. It was an intense, heavy moment. He looked at me as if he knew everything. As if he knew things that I didn't even know myself.
“It was a period of intense heat…” I began. “It was the first time in years. Despite that, your support and companionship mean a great deal to me. No matter how much I thank you, it's never enough.”
Jimin's lips curled slightly, but I couldn't quite call it a smile — it was more of a sad expression. “You're talking as if I've done you a favour. Don't you realise that I wanted this too?”
To be honest, no one in my life had ever spent time with me wholeheartedly and without considering their own interests. I started washing with soap and didn't answer.
“We’re married, Yoongi... I don’t know if you realise it, but I’m your partner. Isn’t it natural for us to help each other through our heat? Look, you’ve even made my wolf misbehave…” He smiled. “Nothing about you is a burden to me. I love your wolf as much as I love you.”
My heart warmed and I swallowed. I didn't have any heartfelt words, but I had my actions. I reached for his leg and started massaging him, working from his knee to his groin with soap. A moment later, I pulled my omega into my lap. He was right there with me now. He was close enough for me to kiss him again. As the steam surrounded us, I lathered his chest and back with soap. Then I moved to his waist. His eyes met mine with anticipation and I held his gaze, my hands behind him caressing his waist and bottom. His lips parted and a small breath escaped. “Yoongi…” He said simply.
“You…” I replied quietly. “You're the greatest blessing in my life…”
When his gaze fell upon my lips, he placed his wet finger beneath my chin. “Am I?”
“Yes, you know my worst side. You stayed by my side, even after everything I put you through. You were there for me when I was in heat; you have no idea what that means to me.”
He smiled bitterly. “No one else would accept me but you…” He said. I realised he was talking about the flowers. It was as if he had been born with those flowers, damaged and incomplete.
“I’m sure they would. You’re amazing…”
When he brought his hand to his face and chuckled, foam splattered his cheeks. “I'm not used to hearing this from you.”
“I know. I'm just as surprised as you are.”
As I wiped the foam from his face, Jimin sighed softly and looked into my eyes. “I had a dream…” He said, still looking into my eyes. His gaze was piercing; my heart was an open target. “You were kissing me. Marking me... It was so beautiful…”
I looked down at the mark, and there it was. It was real. As real as we were. I swallowed the bait he had thrown me. “Do you want to see another dream?”
When he lowered his cheek to his shoulder shyly, I touched my lips to his. He froze. As our breaths collided, I said, “Let's share another dream…” And kissed him, this time in a way that neither of us could deny its reality.
After holding my breath for a few seconds and standing still on his lips, I noticed Jimin trembling like a little sparrow in my hands. His docile fingers, which had been on my chin, had moved down to my neck. They were like a compass that had lost its direction, not knowing where to go — just staying there.
Kissing him felt good…
God, forget good… This felt extraordinary …
I wasn't going to stop there. When I sensed the hesitation and anxiety in his body, I knew I had to take control. Gently taking his lower lip between my lips, I began to suck on it, afraid of hurting him. I held his hand on the back of my neck, pressing our palms together. Our hands danced in the air like swans, as if they belonged to separate universes. Jimin's hesitant grip gave way to determination as he deepened the kiss, and nameless storms raged inside me.
I felt as though I would never be able to put a name to this feeling, even after a thousand years. Was it because of the intense heat I had just overcome? I didn't want to make excuses anymore.
With my lips still wrapped around his, Jimin tilted his head slightly to the side, pulled away and took a deep breath. His eyes were still half-open, glazed over. When I saw those sparkling eyes, the words left me.
What could I say?
I was the mate who had hurt him more than anyone else, and yet I didn’t know what I wanted. Nothing more, nothing less. While Jimin had generously given me his whole heart, I was a cruel master, withholding even a drop of love from him.
It came as no surprise that he loved my wolf. Perhaps he was just being polite when he said he loved me more. In truth, I was a tyrant in need of suppression.
As I looked at him, confused, Jimin's wet lips moved, asking an unexpected question. “You don't remember anything you said in your heat, do you?”
His question echoed in the steam-filled bathroom, and the weight of the answer I couldn’t give felt so powerful that it seemed as though it would leave the entire world behind. Damn it, I thought. What could I have said?
I had no answer… No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t think of one. When he noticed I was panicking, he lowered his eyes. Our hands were still clasped together. The sweet taste of his lips lingered on mine.
“I'm sorry…” I said, offering the only apology I could think of. “I don't remember anything. If I did anything to hurt or upset you, believe me, it wasn't intentional. I lost control of my wolf.”
I wanted to keep him close. Looking at our hands, my omega said, “It's not like that…” He stood before me like a warrior who had laid down all his weapons. His shoulders slumped; the fight was gone. “Forget it...”
“Tell me…”
When he shook his head and tried to hide his face, I noticed a silent tear rolling down his cheek and it hurt me. My fingers slid down his back as if to memorise the curve of his waist. Then the flowers pierced my skin. Jimin held his breath at the contact. “Is it them?” I asked gently. “Flowers? Did I say something ugly about your flowers?”
Something didn't feel right. I could feel my wolf's anger in my chest. At that moment, Jimin looked at me as if I were a huge disappointment, but the look only lasted a moment. I almost thought I was hallucinating. Then he smiled sweetly through his tears. “I'm cold…”
A moment ago, he had been in the palm of my hand, close to me — perhaps closer than I was to myself.
Now, there was an impossible-to-bridge distance between us, no matter how hard I tried. It was as if he was whispering to me, 'It's not that easy.' 'I'm not your puppet anymore.' A lot of water has flowed under that bridge.
When he left me in the bathtub, dripping water onto the floor and wrapped in a towel around his waist, all I could do was watch him go. I was alone with thoughts that led nowhere.
The truth hit me like a slap in the face. There was no doubt that the balance between us was shifting.
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