Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

January 29th
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Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg. The most successful girl in town.The girl prepared for everything. Just not this.

Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe her period was late because of the stress over that stupid French test. Another thing about Ocean she’s never late for anything.Choir,class,meetings.Her period is never late.

So she sat there. Staring at the unopened test box in her hands, on the verge of tears. All she could hear was ringing in her ears. At least it was drowning out the noise of her parents. She didn’t want to think about that right now.

She could bearly read the text on the back of the blue and white box. Her head was spinning and her ears began to ring louder.

‘Point the absorbent tip directly into the urine stream.Take the sample for at least 7-10 seconds. Wait 5-10 minutes for results.’

And Ocean did just that. Those 5 minutes felt like an eternity. Like she was trapped inside some warehouse with no way to leave.

‘Were unusual dreams a symptom I missed during my research’ she thought to herself.

Her thought was interrupted when she caught herself in the mirror. Her skin was paler than usual. Her long,red hair was tied into a messy low ponytail. Her mascara was smudged under her eyes.She was still in her uniform.

God, she was in her uniform. Taking a pregnancy test

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She was no longer on the verge of tears. She wasn’t crying at all. She felt nothing. Just numb.The big bold Pregnant. was staring back at her,mocking her.

This can’t be right. There must be something wrong with the test. She can’t be, she’s only 16.She graduates next year. There’s no way.

Her parents ‘party’ was still blaring downstairs. She needed out now. She stared out her window. Rain pattering against it.

That exact window used to be her escape method. She figured after the news she just found out, maybe jumping from the second story wasn’t a great idea. Or maybe it was. She couldn’t even think straight.

She figured if she bolted down her staircase she wouldn’t be noticed. She didn’t know where she was going yet but anywhere was better than there.

She packed a bag quickly. Phone,charger,Pyjamas,spare uniform and packed them her backpack which had all her toiletries in it.

She scanned her room quickly to assure she hadn’t forgotten anything. The test caught her attention. She choked back a sob as she grabbed the test with shaking hands and threw it into her skirt pocket.

She stood at the top of her stairs. Ready to sprint. Lucky the door was just in-front of the door. Hopefully her parents and their ‘guests’
won’t notice her.

‘1,2,3’ she counted before she made a be-line straight down the stairs and out the door. She had forgotten about the rain. ‘Too late now’ she declared to herself as she folded her already soaked arms around her body as a not very good substitute for a coat.

Millions of thoughts raced through her head. She hadn’t even processed this. She didn’t know what to think. She did know one thing though. She needed to hurry. Uranium was a small town, if anyone saw her walking down the street this late at night in the pouring rain. It would get around faster than the common flu. And it was freezing.

She had finally decided where to go. Noel’s house.Ocean would never admit the fact that even though she swears she hates Noel’s guts, he’s probably the person who knows her the best and,out of the choir he lived the closest, well, except Misha. Whose house she was passing as she made her decision.

The truth was she had been dating Misha secretly since the summer break. He had confessed to her during their tutoring session. She didn’t know why they kept it a secret. They ment to tell people, they just never did.And for some reason,she liked it better that way.

Well it wouldn’t be a secret for much longer, when this baby comes out with a 5 o’clock shadow and a slight trace of alcohol on its breath.

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The redhead stood outside Noel’s teal-ish front door. Mentally preparing herself to knock. This wasn’t the first time Ocean had fled to Noel’s house.

She took a long deep breath and mustered up the courage to knock. As she waited for a response she looked at her watch 00.19. Ocean hadn’t even looked at a clock since she got home from school.

The door creaked open. Noel’s mom, Caroline stood in the doorway. Her blonde hair tied back with a claw clip.Once she saw Ocean quivering from the cold on the porch her once irritated stare changed into a confused yet, sympathetic gaze.

“Ocean?” Caroline questioned.
“Come in sweetie.” She said softly,motioning to inside the house.
Ocean didn’t say a word. She just broke down.
“Oh,Ocean Sweetie what’s wrong?” Caroline spoke softly while embracing the young girl.

Ocean took a step back,leaving the embrace,she still didn’t speak,but in between her sobs she managed to reach into her pocket to for the test. She turned her head away as she reached out her hand to reveal it to the older woman.

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The crying never stopped. Caroline tried to comfort her the most she could. Ocean still felt numb. The only thing she could feel was the tears stung her eyes.Her mind blank except the big warning bells blaring in her head. The ringing in her ears got even louder. She felt like every shallow,quick breath she took may be her last.

“Mom?.” A tired,irritated male voice called from upstairs.
“It’s one in the morning” the voice got increasingly louder as Noel walked down the steps.

Noel was surprised, but unfortunately not shocked when he got to the final few steps of the stairs to see his mom stroking Oceans hair while the girl sobbed and wailed into her hands. This had not been the first time.

But this time felt different,usually when her parents would do something she would be over the crying by the time she got to the couch.

Both of the women raised their heads to look at Noel. Oceans eyes red and puffy. His mother’s eyes scared and worried. The red haired girl tried her hardest to wipe all her tears from her face.

“What’s wrong?” Noel asked.
“Noel, go back to bed” Caroline replied,turning her head away to look at the now slightly- clam girl in her arms.

“No,please can he stay?” Ocean asked like a child begging for a sleepover,tears still streaming down her face.

Caroline sighed in compliance as she motioned for Noel to sit on the arm chair across from them. It was now she realised the TV was still on. Showing some ad about a new children’s toy. She quickly turned it off.

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Noel was stunned by the test sitting on his coffee table. He was completely speechless. What could he even say? How does one deal with a situation like this.

Ocean had seemed to clam down enough to stop hyperventilating and could finally speak.
“I’m sorry” were the only words to come out before she stared to tear up again.

“Sorry for what?” Caroline questioned the girl. Noel cocked his head in agreement.

“For putting this on you guys,I-“ Ocean was interrupted by Noel impulsively wrapping his arms around her.

“Ocean we’re glad you told us.” Noel said in an almost whisper.
“Don’t think for one second you’re in this alone.”Noel stated a bit louder this time.

“We just need to know a few things.” Caroline added tenderly as Noel let go of the girl.

“Yeah think of it as a test, you like those.” Noel spoke akwardly trying to diffuse the tension.

“I think I’ve done enough tests today” Ocean responded understanding his goal.

“What do you need to know?” Ocean moved on quickly from her last sentence.

“Well, do you have an idea of who the dad is?”

“I only did it once” Ocean replied almost sounding offended.

“Okay,with who?”

“Misha.”

“Bachinski?!” Noel almost screamed. “Since when were you two-“

“Since this summer, remember when I was help him with his English” Ocean answered fiddling with the pleats of her skirt.

“That’s when we started dating.” She clarified eyes still focused on her skirt.
“This”, she motioned to her stomach. “Happened the day we got Christmas break”. “The 20th.”

Both Noel and Caroline nodded almost in sync taking in each word she was saying as if there would be a pop quiz.

“I know it’s a bit early for this but, do you know what you will do? ““You have options.” Caroline imparted.

“I don’t know” Ocean said worried. More colour drained from her face. “I hadn’t thought about that.” “I’m so bad at this already” Ocean declared as she placed her head into her hands.

When she looked back up they were back to square one. Ocean was sobbing and hyperventilating.

“What am I gonna do?”
“I don’t have a job.”
“How do I tell Misha?”
“Can I still graduate?”
“I’m gonna get so fat”
Are all sentences Ocean managed to get out between her deep sobs.

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Once Ocean had calmed down once again. Caroline suggested she showered since she was still damp from walking in the rain.

Ocean stood infront of the Gruber’s bathroom mirror. Her body looked different. She placed a hand on her stomach. She didn’t know a lot of things about this but she knew one thing

She was keeping this baby. No matter what.

Chapter Text

January 30th
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Ocean woke up in the Gruber’s spare room with a pounding in her head,her eyes red from crying and an undying need to vomit.She shot up from the bed and ran to the bathroom.

Once she had finished…She looked at her watch 11.24. She was so late for school. It’s not like she wanted to go. But school distracted her from everything. She ran back to the room to put on her uniform.

She assumed Noel was already at school.
‘Why didn’t they wake me’ Ocean wondered as she stepped into her shoes and grabbed her bag.

She near sprinted down the stairs.Just to see Noel sitting on the couch watching some movie in French and Caroline in the kitchen cleaning.

“Hey,Oce” Noel called once Ocean entered his sight.
“Why are you in your uniform?” He questioned

“Are we not going to school?” Ocean replied confused.

“Ocean,do you actually think we would make you go to school.” Caroline joined the conversation unannounced.

“I was thinking since the..news” Caroline paused awkwardly.

Ocean’s heart skipped a beat at the mention of her situation. She quickly pushed the thought down.

“We could go to the next town over and go to the mall, you know,to take your mind off it”. The blonde said smiling.

Ocean had never been one for recreational shopping, or skipping school. But she simply could not refuse her offer.

“Alright” Ocean answered.

“Okay, so maybe you should change” Noel said with his typical tone.

“Oh, I didn’t bring anymore clothes” Ocean said sheepishly.

“Wait” Noel said as he stood up and pushed past Ocean and ran up the stairs.

“Okay, it’s a plan! I better get back to cleaning this though” Caroline said pointing back to the kitchen door behind her.Ocean smiled in response

As she waited for Noel to come back she recalled a day she had also skipped school.

She was twelve and had just gotten her first period. Her parents were high. She was so scared. She once again walked to Noel’s house. Caroline hugged her and gave her everything she needed. She then left Noel at home and they got ice cream at the local parlour and talked for hours.

Ocean cherished that day. She just wished it was with her own mother. At that moment she made a promise to herself that her child will never have to look to another adult for a mother.

Almost on cue, Noel appeared with a pair of jeans and a sweater in his hands.

“You left these here last time”. He explained.
“I kept forgetting to give them back”.

Ocean felt like crying of gratefulness. God, pregnancy was weird.
“Thanks Noel” she blinked tears out of her eyes.
“Are you okay?” He asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry!” She added with a smile while wiping the tears from her face.”

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Once Ocean had gone upstairs to change Noel walked into the kitchen to see his mother spraying the countertops. Caroline always cleaned when she was nervous.

“Hey did you hear that in there?” Noel asked, feeling guilty.

“Hear what honey?” Caroline stopped her scrubbing to turn to Noel.

“I just gave her clothes she left here and she started crying”. Noel whispered aware that the ceiling was thin.

“Yeah,” Caroline paused her sentence to let out a small laugh. “Get used to it”.

Noel’s mood shifted. “What are we gonna do?”

“Whatever she wants us to” his mother replied. Her mood matching his.

“Okay,but we know nothing about this,except who the dad is. But-“

Noel was interrupted by Caroline’s voice. “Hun, thats all she knows”. “In the car, if she’s willing we can ask for more info okay?.”

Noel nodded in agreement.

“She trusts us with this. She’s a smart girl,not some airhead.We should trust her”. His mother said softly. Placing a hand on his shoulder.

“I just don’t know if it’s hit her yet” Noel commented.

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Meanwhile upstairs it hit Ocean hard for the first time. Sure it had hit her when she found out, but this time was worse. Her acknowledgement of her pregnancy made her want to rip all her hair out.

She wondered what people at school would say when they found out. They already weren’t nice to Ocean. This wouldn’t help.

What was she going to tell Misha. She had completely forgotten about him. She reached for her phone on the bedside table.

‘9+ chats from St.Cassain Chamber Choir’

Ocean sighed and clicked the notification.

St.Cassain Chamber Choir
8:02
Misha Bachinski: yo,poet Ocean y u 2 not at skool

Constance Blackwood:Wait they’re not there?

Noel Gruber:I’m sick
I don’t know abt ginger tho.

Misha Bachinski: ok. @Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg where r u

Noel Gruber: why does bro have the full government name 😭

Misha Bachinski: she set it as that

Ricky Potts: wait Ocean not at school. I’m kinda scared.

Penny Lamb: real

Constance Blackwood: Maybe she overslept?

Noel Gruber: maybe it’s none of our business.

Penny Lamb: Real.
11.56
Ocean O’Connell Rosenburg: Hello all, I’m not at school today because I’m very sick. I’ll probably be back on Monday. We will not have choir after school today, unless somebody wants to take over.

Ocean typed fast. She had to pretend like things were normal. She hadn’t realised she was crying as she opened her private chat with Misha.

Misha Bachinski
8.10
Misha: r u ok
U never miss skool
11.57
Ocean: no, not really.
We need to talk.
In person.

Ocean sighed, turned her phone off and let it slip out her hands. She rolled over to lie on her back and placed a hand on her stomach.

“I think you’ll like your dad.I do”Ocean spoke,to nothing really. But to her,her…baby could hear her. Ocean knew it wasn’t realistic but she felt like it knew what it was doing. Maybe she resented them for it. But not really.

Her phone buzzed again. Illuminating with a notification from Misha. Ocean half read it. She dreaded picking up the phone. Even though she wanted to talk to Misha more than anything in the world, she was anxious about his reaction. Misha was always believed to be ‘the angriest boy in town’. That’s what ocean believed about him before she was appointed his English tutor. She found he knew a lot of English already and was actually quite bright.

Oceans fond thoughts about Misha were rudely interrupted by her phone buzzing with a call.

‘Misha Bachinski is calling’
Ocean produced a high pitched nervous squeak before answering the phone.

“Hey M-“ Ocean spoke into the phone as Noel knocked on the door.

“OCEAN” Misha shouted into the phone.
“Are you okay?” He said frantically.
“Who do I need to fight?” Misha added jokingly ,Ocean hoped.

Ocean had opened the door for Noel. Putting a finger to her lips and pointing at the phone.
Noel gave her a look of confusion. Until he heard the thick accent through the phone.

‘Now?’ Noel mouthed.
‘No,no’ Ocean mouthed back.

“Ocean?” The thick accent spoke through the phone again.

“Misha,sorry. Im guessing you got my text.” Ocean said nervously.
Noel listened attentively.

“Yes, are you okay океан?

“Misha, I just really need to talk to you.”

“Talk to me now.”

“No it really needs to be in person”

“Are you breaking up with me”

“No! Misha please. Just can I come to your house at like 4?”

She looked to Noel for approval. Noel nodded in said approval.

“океан, I can’t wait that long please tell me now”

“No” Ocean said blankly before hanging up.

“Why’d you hang up on him like that?”

“Ugh” Ocean sighed as she fell on her back onto the bed. She rubbed her eyes.

“Right, I need to get dressed.” Ocean gave Noel a look to tell him to get out.

“Okay okay, but later, do you want me to come with you?” Noel questioned.

“No, I have to tell him myself.”

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Those three hours felt like three centuries to Ocean. Misha had kept texting her sporadic texts concerned for her well-being. Maybe she should’ve just told him on the phone.

Ocean’s heart beat a million times per second as Caroline pulled up a couple houses down from Misha’s. Ocean walked the rest of the way per her request.

She found herself staring at the door. She knew his adopted ‘parents’ were at work and Misha was probably sitting by the door like a puppy.

She worked up the courage to knock. Although she only had to knock once before the door swung open. Misha was standing there looking the most worried Ocean has ever seen him. She swung her arms around him. She didn’t care who saw.

“Woah okay, океан” Misha said, the worry slightly washing away from his face.
“I’m guessing this is good news then”

“Uhm well, depends on how you look at it” Ocean replied letting go of him and closing the door. Her eyes watering up once again.

“океан what ever it is, just tell me.” I’ve almost picked out all of my hair.” Misha said as they both walked down the stairs leading to the basement.

“Alright, well I don’t know how else to say it so I’ll just tell you okay?”

“Ocean, please”

“I’m pregnant” Ocean bursted into tears.
“And I don’t care what you say,I’m keeping it. And I-“

Once again, she was very rudely interrupted by arms wrapping around her.

“океан” Misha whispered into her ear. “I will support any decision you make.

“You’re not mad?”

“I mean I’m surprised,it’s not exactly the best time for this but if this is your decision.”
“I’ll stand by it.”
“Who am I to tell you what to do?”

This is the moment when Ocean fell in love with him all over again.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Ocean asked through tears.

“Of course океан.” Misha answered lovingly.

God, she loved that nickname.

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Ocean and Misha had spent the next few hours talking about the ‘game plan’ as Misha called it. Ocean made a list. Not in any particular order. Just anything that came into the young parents-to-be’s heads.

The Game Plan
1. Get decently paying jobs.
2. Go to doctor.
3. Tell choir
4. Buy own place.
5. Give birth
6. Give it a name
7. Graduate
8. Be parents?!?!
9. Buy baby stuff
10. Tell parents. (Adoptive + stoner)

On paper it seemed easy. Funny even. But in reality Oceans hand was shaking while she wrote and Misha was pacing around his room/basement. After some time they had ditched the list and lied on the mattress that Misha was forced to call a bed. The pair both stared up at the ceiling.

“Do you think it’s a girl or a boy” Misha asked breaking the silence.

“Misha.” Ocean said propping herself up on her elbows.

“What?, I am just saying if we are choosing to have this baby. We may aswell be happy about it.”
“Moping and avoiding it won’t make it better” Misha spoke passionately.
“So be exicted. This is so madwickedawesome.”

Ocean laughed and put her head in her hands.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you’re going to be a dad and you just said madwickedawesome.” Ocean laughed hysterically. Psychotically almost.

Misha joined her laughter.

“Keep it down boy.” Called a masculine voice from upstairs.

Misha stuck his middle finger up to the voice. As if he could see it. Ocean pushed his finger down playfully.

“Okay but seriously. Girl or boy.” Misha asked returning back to his former question.

“I don’t know, I’d be happy with either. I’d hope for a little girl though.”

“Nah, it’s a boy I feel it in my bones”.

“In your bones?”

“Yes”

“Oh well then, it must be a boy then, who needs modern medicine with you around.” Ocean added sarcastically.

The two laughed and talked, quietly of course. Until Ocean inevitably fell asleep in Mishas arms. That night was the first time she’s slept soundly for a while.

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