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Chapter Text

Satoru had been nine when his mother decided to pull him away from one of his training sessions. It was rare of his mother to go against his grandfather and father’s wishes when it came to his training, she always bowed her head, fluttered her dark eyelashes and agreed to their wishes without complaint. But his mother had smiled sweetly to his grandfather, lying to him about father needing him. He had also believed his mother until she brought them to the clear blue waters of their pond.

Lilypad were scattered throughout the pond, lilies decorated near the pebbles as the ducks waddled through the still water. His mother gazed at the pond with warm, green eyes as she always did whenever they sat in these ponds. Out of all the members of his clan, his mother had always been the oddest one. Everyone knew it. His grandmother, when she had been alive, had lacked the subtle warmth that his mother bestowed on him. His grandfather gazed at him with hunger in his eyes while his father was indifferent to him. He was the heir and that was it.

His mother patted her lap, a silent request for him to lie his head on her lap. At nine, he was too old for such childish gestures, such weak gestures but the gentle plea in her eyes made him reluctantly rest his head on his mother’s warm lap. He felt her hands combing through his hair while her eyes stared distantly to the thick trunks of the oak trees that stood in the corner. It had been planted when his parents got married, a request of his mother as the servants had whispered. A sign of the strong love between his parents, though he wondered how his father loved his mother when he got flustered whenever his mother showered him with affection.

“Satoru,” his mother whispered in her rare, loving voice as she stroked his hair with gentleness and adoration. “Do you know your father and I are soulmates?” He shook his head and watched his mother smiled like a lovestruck teen. She always had that smile whenever his father was mentioned. “We are, you know or your grandfather would have never approved of our marriage. Your grandparents never believed in love matches.”

Satoru stared blankly at the drifting clouds. “Grandfather says he arranged your marriage to Father with the hope of producing an heir that has both Six Eyes and Limitless.” He drifted his eyes back to his mother, at the elfish features of his mother. When his father dared to express emotions in front of him, he always teased of how his mother was like an elf. So beautiful and out of this world with her lushy white hair and the constant serene look on her face.

“Your grandfather isn’t wrong—he did have great hope of your father and I will produce a strong child like you,” his mother agreed with a light laugh. She tapped his nose like he was a little baby, not like the nine-year-old he was. He scowled but his mother only kissed his forehead. “You’ll always be my baby, Satoru; no matter what your grandfather and father says.” She poked his forehead once more. “But do you know why he would arrange our marriage when my family is of a lower standing than your father’s clan?”

“Because your family produces strong members,” he parroted but the bittersweet expression on his mother’s face made him have a moment of doubt. This was what his grandfather would rant whenever his mother acted out-of-line. Whenever she pulled him away from training sessions. That if it was not for the potential strength of their marriage, his mother would never be able to enter this family. He covered his eyes. “Grandfather says marriage should be about producing strong heirs and that I should only associate with the strong.”

“When your father was around your age, he came running straight to your grandmother and told her about dreaming about me,” his mother said, stroking his cheeks. “I fell for your father in that dream because he was different from that indifferent boy I would occasionally meet in clan’s gatherings.” Satoru bit his tongue to point out that his father was still indifferent but chose not to utter it. His mother would never concede about his father’s indifference, always saying that his father loved him in his own way. “Your grandmother knew that it was a soulmate dream since her brother experienced the same thing. Soulmate dreams are rare, but they are unmistakable.”

He knew of his Great-Uncle, his grandmother and him had a falling out. His Great-Uncle did not even come for the funeral, despite his mother’s attempt to bring the old man to come to the funeral rites. “Did Grandmother stopped talking to her brother because of those dreams?”

“No,” his mother reassured him. “Your Great-Uncle did not marry his soulmate; he chose to marry the woman that your great-grandparents chose for him to marry.”  Why didn’t he marry his soulmate like his parents did? His mother must have noticed his question because she stared distantly at the clouds. “Just because you’ve a soulmate does not mean you’ll marry them. Your Great-Uncle didn’t like the idea of being soulmates with a woman that lacked cursed energy and believed they were too incompatible to work out.”

He accepted the answer because his great-uncle’s logic made sense. Why marry someone who would need constant protection? The sun glared at him as if they found the reasoning to be foolish. Soulmates, if he believed the silly stories whispered by the maids, were meant to be equals. Meant to be perfect for each other. He glanced up at his smiling mother. “So Father and Grandmother knew you were Father’s soulmate from a dream? That sounds silly, Mother.”

“Soulmate dreams are different from normal dreams,” his mother explained. She looked at the family of ducks with a serene smile as she elaborated even more. “These dreams are special, Satoru. Not just anyone could have a chance to share a dream space with their soulmate; your grandparents never experienced it.”

Satoru stared at the subtle warmth of his mother’s green eyes. “Do you believe I’ll experience those dreams, Mother?” His mother had a strange expression, but he pushed on, pointing out the obvious. “I’m special, Mother. It would be more proof of how special and amazing I am because I get something that not even a normal Jujutsu Sorcerer can get.” If his parents could get those dreams, then he would get them as well. His soulmate, he decided, would be as amazing as him.

His mother took a deep breath. “I believe everyone has a soulmate, Satoru but it doesn't mean that everyone’s soulmate is alive or have been born yet.” She ran her hand through his hair, her eyes softened just a little bit more. “For your sake Satoru, I hope you do have a living soulmate.” She hesitated for a moment. “And I hope you’ll have the brains to keep them around, be it as a friend or a future partner.”

He scowled. “What does that mean, Mother? I’m smart.”

“You may be smart but relationships, even those of a soulmate, is filled with challenges,” his mother explained. “Your father and I may have had an arrange marriage but there was a time when I was very close to breaking off our engagement.” His eyes widened and his mother looked straight ahead. “Soulmates, Satoru, are still individuals and no matter what you hear from the servants and even from the other clans, your soulmate can still reject a match. It requires effort, understanding and seeing them for who they are and not the perfect person that you think they should be.”

He frowned and muttered. “That’s stupid. My soulmate has to be perfect and strong just like me.”

One minute, Naruto had been dozing off as Iruka-sensei droned on about their neighboring countries. It was going to be on the test as he had warned them. More specifically her as her teacher had his eyes locked on her when he uttered the upcoming exam. She knew she should have tried to stay awake but his voice had been dull, the same boring tone that always made her eyelids as heavy as lead. She didn’t know why or how but she found herself standing in front of a massive building.

The building was so much like the classical clan compounds in the village. The ones that belonged to the richer clans than the more middle-classed clans. The walls loomed over them, threatening, but the gates were open. The metallic gates glittered in the sunlight, beckoning her to come into the compound. Dreams, she knew, should not feel so real but there was a soft breeze pushing her straight towards the gates. The breeze smelt unnatural, like the sweet bean paste in Manju.

For a time, she walked through the clan compound, noting the distinct lack of people in the compound. If this was her dream, she should be seeing people. Like Hinata. Like her arrogant cousin, Neji. Even Hinata’s father would be here but there was no one in this large compound. She saw no one until her eyes caught glimpse of a white-haired boy in a beautiful dark blue kimono, playing with pebbles by himself. He looked nothing like her classmates, like her seniors. In a sea of dark hair, light blond hair and brown hair, none of her classmates had snow white hair.

No one, in the village, had white hair like his.

She slid the door opened and slowly approached the beautiful white-haired boy. With the sunlight smiling down on him, his hair looked so much like snow. So pretty and soft for her hands to touch. The water rippled with each passing pebble and yet it remained still at the same time. This was definitely a dream, she knew. Water did not behave in such an unnatural way. The boy yawned, leaned back on his hands, and Naruto took it as her chance to approach him.

“Hey,” she called out to him. He jerked his head at her and she found herself staring at the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. Bluer than her own eyes, though it was much colder than her own, but not the same coldness as her classmates or their parents. His eyes were the reflection of the sea on a clear summer day, captured into a ball or what she assumed the sea would look like. “Do you know where the hell am I? Where is everyone? Cuz this place is way too lonely to be my dream.”

The boy cocked his head to the side, his eyes held boredom and interest. “This is supposed to be my home but in my dream my Grandfather would be in my dream, telling me not to slack off and to resume my training.”  His voice took an edge of laziness. “Or my mother would be attempting to announce I’m getting another sibling; I had that nightmare before.” He wrinkled his nose, flickering another pebble. “But no one from my clan is here, not even the servants.”

Naruto took a seat beside him, picked up a pebble and looked at the crystal blue water of the pond. “Must be nice to dream about your grandfather and mother,” she flicked the pebble while the boy stared at her with blank eyes. “But no offense, your Gramps sounds like a jerk if you’re dreaming about him yelling at you not to slack off but if this is supposed to be your dream, then shouldn’t they be someone here? If this was my dream, I would be dreaming about wearing the Hokage’s hat and laughing at all those jerks in my village who kept insulting me.”

“Hokage?” He raised his eyebrows at her as he picked up another pebble. He stroked the smoothness of the pebble as the winds now carried the sweet scent of mochi. “What the hell is a Hokage?” The pebble jumped across the pond, though the waters still did not ripple from the movement. No dip. No circles. Just another reminder of how strange, this dream was. “Sounds like a made-up word to me.”

She puffed her cheeks. “You sure you come from a clan? Every ninja clan knows what the Hokage is, even our neighbouring countries know what it means!” He just stared at her without any emotion and she wondered what the hell was wrong with him to show no emotions. “The Hokage is the strongest ninja in the whole of Konoha, the leader of the village, the one that everyone looks up to! Someone you can’t just disrespect!” She jabbed her thumb against her chest. “And one day that is going to be me!”

He tilted his head at her, lingering on her hair before drifting to the whisker marks on her cheeks. “Aren’t ninjas supposed to be quiet? You’re way too loud to be a ninja.” Her mouth parted while the boy looked at her. “And are you the strongest ninja in your village after the Hokage? Cuz if you’re weak, then there is no point for you to make that claim.” It might be a dream but she felt her blood boil at those cruel words. He must have noticed it because he elaborated even more. “Training can only take you so far if you don’t have the talent, it’s better to have a dream that you can easily achieve.”

Naruto clenched her jaw. “And what’s your dream, asshole? Bet it must be something super easy so you don’t have to worry about failing.” She glared at those mocking blue eyes while the winds began to pick up its pace, screaming in all directions as cold blue eyes stared back at her. “Because only a spoiled brat like you would say something like that! I bet you never had to work hard, everything comes naturally for you.”

“Yup,” he agreed with a shrug. “And if I had to pick a dream, I would like to live somewhere where no one is constantly yelling at me to train or where everyone keeps saying mean stuff about my mother. She lets me have fun when she can, everyone else just wants me to be the perfect heir.” His face brightened. “And maybe find an equal ‘cuz all the kids from the other clans are just weak and boring. Or they are jerks because they are jealous that I’m destined to be the strongest.”

She stared at this arrogant boy. “Or maybe they are jerks because you’re an asshole. No one likes someone who thinks they’re better than them.”

“But it’s true, I’m stronger than them,” he declared with a tone of complain. “Everyone knows it. Grandfather says that I’m the strongest person to be born into our society, everything changed when I was born.” His words came out as a grumble. “Not my fault that they can’t keep up with my strength, not even Father can keep up with me.” His eyes focused on her. “And since you’re a ninja, I bet you can’t keep up with me either. No one can.”

His words were filled with arrogance, just a little bit similar to Sasuke whenever she challenged him to a fight, but there was a hint of loneliness in him. Like he felt as alone as her. An arrogant jerk, he might be, but he was as lonely as that oak tree standing in the corner. She gazed at that tree with determined eyes. “You know I can whoop your ass right here and right now to prove to you that I can keep up with you.”

Amusement coloured those blue eyes. The boy clasped his hands behind his head while his lips curved just a little bit, a teasing smile. “Whoop my ass? That doesn’t sound something like a girl should say, you know guys like girls who are a little bit meek.” He glanced at her orange tracksuit before staring straight at her eyes. “You know you would be cuter if you didn’t say words like assholes and ass all the time and if you wear a dress.”

She didn’t know whether to scream at this irritating boy or to turn red at how easy the words had spilled out of his mouth. “First off, a dress won’t allow me to kick boy’s asses without them looking at my underwear,” her voice rose as the clouds began to circle around till they resembled storm clouds. “And second off, why should I be a little bit meek for some guy? I ain’t changing myself for some boy!”

That stupid smirk didn’t falter, instead it simply grew as his blue eyes twinkled with mischief. She curled her hand into a fist as the boy began to talk, unaware or uncaring about her fist. If Hinata was here, she would tell her to let it go, but her best friend was not here to act as her moral compass. But that growing twinkle of mischief tempted her. “I’m just saying that if you wanna get married one day, then you should act—”

She didn’t wait for him to finish the sentence before she hurled her fist against the boy’s face. His bone cracked underneath her knuckle, it was strange because dreams shouldn’t feel this real. She glanced at her knuckle, watching with a sweet smile as blood dribbled down his nose. The boy brushed his hand against his nose, eyes completely stunned, but she just raised her chin. It was wrong of her but she couldn’t help but smile in triumphant. “Still want to finish that sentence, Mr. Tough Guy?”

He blinked, wiped his nose, and then tilted his head with his hand still on his bleeding nose. “You punch more like a guy than a girl.” His tone was softer and less arrogant. Apparently, he needed a good punch for him to choose his next words carefully. “And why does it feel so real? And why didn’t I wake up from this strange dream.”

It was all good questions, but she didn’t have the answers.  She just wanted this dream to end. She just didn’t want to spend another minute with an asshole like this. A moment of confusion shifted into her mind. Why would she dream about a pretty boy like this? Why would she dream of someone who behaved like an absolute asshole? Her whole school was filled with them. She needed to figure out how to get out of this dream.

“Don’t ask me, Jerk.” She scowled at him. “I need to wake up before Iruka-sensei realizes I dozed off. If he notices, he’s going to humiliate me in front of everyone—again.” She groaned, burying her face in her hands. “And if I don’t wake up soon, he’ll start asking me questions. I won’t know the answers! Worse, I’m sitting next to Shikamaru, and he’s probably asleep too. Great. Just great. I’m completely on my own here.” With a deep breath, she glared at him. “You better not show up in my dreams again, got it?”

The boy stared distantly, throwing another pebble into the pond. “If we meet again, then it means you’re stuck with me forever.”

Stuck with him, forever?  With this jerk? She balled her hand into a fist and looked at the stone walls of the compound. It loomed over her like a mountain, towering and something for her to overcome. The utter cold silence pressed down on her, overwhelming her to the point her knees threatened to buckle. She didn’t want to always come back to this lonely clan compound, to be stuck alone with him. It felt too lonely. The lack of people was enough to make her want to run away from this place. She turned to look at the boy.

“Like hell I’m getting stuck with someone like you. This will be our first and last meeting.”

(It was not.)

Chapter Text

Naruto breathed in the salty scent of her miso ramen. Perfect. This was the best way for her to describe her ramen, though she wished the same thing could be said about her day. As soon as the last class was over, she would have to stay behind and go through the motions of detention again. All because she had to nap. All because one of the kids drew attention towards her because apparently they didn’t like her swearing in her sleep. Bastards.  Just the thought of another detention made her tighten her grip on the chopsticks, she scowled and gobbled down the ramen while Hinata stared at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“Y’know I can’t believe that bitch Ami tattle on me for sleeping in class,” she complained. “We’ve a stupid exam tomorrow and instead of letting me go home to prepare for that exam, Iruka-sensei wants me to stay back and cleaned the whole classroom. I mean it is better than the time he made me stand outside of the classroom, but still! I need to study for that stupid test.” Her hand squeezed the chopstick, jaw clenched as her best friend took a small bite of her rice.

Hinata swallowed and offered her a nervous but encouraging smile. “At least you won’t be alone, Naru-chan,” she said, patting her back. Her words were encouraging but it did not reflect in her eyes. Her eyes were grim at the reminder. “You have Choji, Shikamaru and Kiba with you in detention. They fell asleep as well.”

Naruto put down the instant ramen on the grass and laid on the soft grass, eyes focused on the drifting white clouds. “Yeah but we can’t fool around while we’re in detention, and it isn’t like once the whole thing is over, I’ll go to their place to study.” Choji’s father despised her for some reason. Choji would deny it, but she had seen the coldness in his eyes whenever Choji played with her. Shikamaru’s father was indifferent, treated her with courtesy and that was the best she could ask for. Kiba’s mother adored her, found her hilarious, but Kiba didn’t like her having around. They were skipping buddies but not friends.

Her only friend was Hinata.

“I wish Mizuki-sensei didn’t have to separate us and told Iruka-sensei to keep us apart, then it wouldn’t have happened,” Hinata whispered in her soft-spoken voice. “Just because we talk in class doesn’t mean you were a bad influence on me. You just needed me to explain things to you because you always get send out of class for even the slightest misbehavior.” She grimaced at the reminder. It was always her who got picked on. Some of the girls sighed and giggled whenever Sasuke gave them a glance. They passed notes to each other but they never got told to stand outside for being a disturbance in the class. It was always unfair.

“I really wish I didn’t fall asleep during class ‘cuz that stupid dream wasn’t worth the detention.” Hinata tilted, her eyes shone with concern. “I had a lot of weird dreams like the fox one.” Her best friend nodded. “Being chased by Iruka-sensei with a newspaper for not doing well in a test.” Hinata giggled. “But this one? This one takes the cake of being the weirdest and most annoying dream that I ever had.”

Her best friend lowered her lunchbox, the clear concern was evident in her face. “What happened in your dream, Naru-chan?”

Naruto grimaced. Where could she start about that stupid dream? About that arrogant, pretty asshole? The mind was a weird thing as Hinata had told her whenever Neji would make some subtle demeaning comment about her demeanour. The mind saw what it wanted to see and facial expression reflected it. Her mind conjured up a pretty boy but instead of being some kind of prince charming like most girls would see in their dreams, her imaginary boy looked like a pretty ass. He uttered words she had heard in real life, though he called her cute. Not directly but it was better than the insult thrown by the other boys.

“I stood in front of a clan compound except it wasn’t like the ones found in Konoha ‘cuz it looked kinda fancier,” she picked up her ramen and stared at her reflection on the broth. At the furrowed lines on her forehead. “There was no one in that compound but when I walked to the gardens, I met the most cute but arrogant boy that I’ve ever met. He makes Sasuke look like a saint and Hinata before you say Sasuke isn’t that bad, he called me a loser.” Her best friend grimaced at that reminder and Naruto stirred the ramen. “Anyways, we fought in that dream and I punched that arrogant bastard on the nose.”

Hinata took a slow, dragged out bite of her sausage as her eyes squinted like she was deep in thought. It was the expression when she needed to think carefully. “What did he do to earn a punch, Naru-chan?” The better question would have been what hadn’t that jerk do? Even now, her blood boiled from the cruel words uttered by that jerk. Cruel words that had been so similar to the ones uttered by the jerks in her class. Except it had been worse. He didn’t know her.

“He insulted my dream of becoming Hokage, saying that training can only take so far because talent matters more,” she grumbled. Her fingers grabbed a handful of the grass, pulling it. The more she remembered it, the more she wanted to go and find that smug bastard just so she could break his nose once more. “Then he told me if I ever wanted to get married, I should act meek. Meek? Me? Who the hell is he to say that shit?” Her whole body trembled at the dream. “He even said I would look cuter if I wore dress.”

Hinata inspected her sausage with pursed lips. “And that was when you punch him, didn’t you?” She didn’t seem to judge her for punching the boy for being a jerk, then again, her best friend had never really judge her. The knowledge allowed her to nod. Pale lavender eyes shone with hesitance before it resigned. “He was a jerk but it sounds like he might’ve been complimenting you when he called you cute.”

Naruto poked her tongue against her cheek. “Some compliment, Hinata-chan! I shouldn’t wear some dress just to be called cute,” she grumbled. She swirled the ramen noodles, noting the subtle sogginess in her food. “And it doesn’t matter if it had been a compliment, he said talent matters more than hard work. That no matter how hard I work, I will never achieve my dream.” Even in her own dreams, it seemed almost as if her goal would never come true. “And then he said I shouldn’t swear ‘cuz it doesn’t make me cute. Why would I want to be cute? Cuteness will never help me achieve my dream.”

Her best friend sighed. From the distance, they heard the loud giggles of their female classmates; a sign that they must have found Sasuke. “Naru-chan, remember when I was told that my mother was very sick that I had a nightmare of her dying?” She nodded and her best friend continued. “I talked to my Nanny about it and she said to me that dreams and nightmares can sometimes be…echoes of the thing we’re afraid of, or the feelings we try to ignore.”

Naruto did not enjoy the idea. Maybe there was some sliver of truth in her words, but she was not going to admit it out loud without the confirmation: “What is that supposed to mean, Hinata-chan?”

“Maybe your dream wasn’t just about him being a jerk. Maybe it was about how you feel when people doubt you,” Hinata said.

Why wouldn’t she care about how people doubt her? She had to fight to prove to people that she deserved to be in the Academy. Her academic grades weren’t the best but taijutsu was where she shone. She was one of the strongest students, not just for the girls but also for the boys and had talent when it came to traps. Everyone knew it but none of her teachers wanted to acknowledge it. She hated how much she had to prove to herself.

“People doubt me all the time, Hinata,” she snapped the chopstick and scowled. “It doesn’t mean I care because I know I’m going to become someone so amazing that they would have no choice but to acknowledge me.” Hinata had grimace at her words, her eyes revealed her doubt and Naruto trembled. “I really don’t care what they have to say, Hinata. I’m fine with this shit.”

The girl laid down on the grass, her eyes focused on the drifting clouds. “Naruto-chan, you always say that but I know you care or you wouldn’t get furious whenever someone insult your dreams or when people compare you to Sasuke.” She turned and regarded her with knowing eyes. “You can’t lie to me, Naruto-chan.”

“Even if I care, it won’t change a thing because showing I care will give them power over me. I’ll never let them know that I care about what they think of me.”

Satoru exhaled when his mother removed her fingers against his nose. Apparently when your soulmates punched you on the nose, it translated to a nosebleed in real life. He had to be more careful when talking to his soulmate, she was not afraid to break his nose. Luckily, his grandfather hadn’t requested his presence, and his father was too busy with his own paperwork. He could only imagine the frown on their faces when they saw the nosebleed. With limitless, he should have avoided getting hit but how was he supposed to know that his soulmate would punch him?

“If your grandfather and father didn’t complain about your laziness, I would think my handsome son had overworked himself,” his mother teased, patting his cheek. “Want to tell me how you ended up getting a nosebleed in your nap, Satoru because I know you aren’t the type to move around while you sleep. You’re just like your father in that sense.” There was a sliver of humour in his mother’s tone as she wiped the dried blood on his upper lip with a soft cloth.

If only he was like his father, his mother adored his father like he hung the stars on the night sky. There was no way his sweet mother would have punched his father in their very first meeting. Even now, he could still hear the clear crunch of when that small, tanned fist smashed against his nose. She had been fast. So fast that he had no time to dodge or activate his limitless. When he meets her again, he was going to keep his limitless activated.

That would be the smart action because if he got another nosebleed, his grandfather would notice and he would give him a long lecture about him being a disappointment. The strongest, his grandfather would stress, would not get hit by girls. Girls, his grandfather would state and insist, were the weaker sex. He would say it in front of his mother, who would smile politely but Satoru knew, his mother would rant under her breath as soon as his grandfather was out of earshot. His father would calm her down by giving her a strange look.

“Promise you won’t tell Grandfather or Father, but I met my soulmate,” he grumbled. “She punched me in the nose for no reason.”

His mother pursed her lips but not from annoyance, just a little bit of amusement. Her green eyes twinkled with it, he scowled, and the woman coughed before schooling her expression into a mocking frustrated look. “Did she now? I should’ve a word with her for punching my strong, baby boy.” There was a hint of laughter in her tone but she quickly coughed when he scowled and scooted away from his mother.

“It’s not funny, Mother!” Satoru said irritably. “She punched a lot harder than a man and doesn’t act like a cute, little girl—even though she is kinda cute!” His mother nodded, schooling her expression into a blank one. He continued to prattle on. “And can you believe what she called me, Mother? An asshole! She should be happy that I even acknowledge her existence, Mother!”

There was silence. Satoru could hear the whispers of the servant behind the doors. They sounded amused if he judged their giggles. He should ask his grandfather to fire them. Though from the way his mother laughed and shook her head, he knew he couldn’t get away with it. She would leak the news to protect them, his mother enjoyed those servants the most. They had come with her when she married his father.

“So, you met your soulmate, and she punched you,” his mother said in a soft, understanding tone. “And she called you an asshole as well, but you haven’t told me of what you did to get punch. I know no one would just punch another person for no reason, Satoru.” Her green eyes gleamed knowingly. “Tell me what you did for her to punch you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” he denied. The white-haired woman gave him a pointed look and he sighed. “I might have told her that she should be meeker and that she would be cuter in a dress. That boys don’t like girls who say asses and assholes. It’s true! Grandfather says a woman should act feminine and act modest, I was trying to help her because if she’s my soulmate then Grandfather will have a lot of expectations.” He scowled. “But now I don’t think I want her as my soulmate, can I exchange her for someone less violent? Someone like you?”

A long moment of silence. Then, a deep breath, “That isn’t how soulmates work, Satoru. Your soulmate isn’t some object you can exchange for a refund.”

“I just want a less violent soulmate, Mother! You never hit Father.”

“Not where you’ve seen him,” his mother muttered under her breath and he blinked, his mother coughed. “And I never hit your father because I know your grandparents would’ve broken our engagement if I showed signs of not meeting your grandparents’ desirable woman. Your father warned me from the very beginning of what to expect when he told me that your grandfather was willing to arrange our marriage…despite my lower standing.”

Satoru, feeling his heart crashing straight to the floor instead of his ribcage, decided to change the subject. He turned his head and stared at the birds resting on the tree branch. “She shouldn’t hit me because I told her the truth, Mother. She can’t believe that people like her behaviour, Mother.” His mother coughed and he swirled his head at the woman. She just shook her head.

“Does she remind you of someone?”

An innocent question, a confusing one, but Satoru caught a hint of knowingness. His mother was hinting at something. This was her tone of always probing him. “No, I don’t know if she reminds me of anyone, Mother.”

“You don’t know of anyone who say things without thinking of how it make other people feel?” He shook his head and his mother cleared his throat. “Let me rephrase this Satoru, would she have behaved the same way if she knew who you were? Would she have hit you if she knew you were the heir of the Gojo Clan and the child with the potential to become the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer?”

“No, she would have fallen on her knees and would’ve been pleased to meet me!” He puffed his chest. “And she would have complimented me or at the very least fawn over me like all the others.” His mother smiled but the joy didn’t reflect her eyes. He scowled. “Mother, it’s true! Everyone knows that I’m going to be the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer! Grandfather says from the moment you gave birth to me; the curses had gotten exceptionally stronger.”

His mother nodded. She stared straight at the birds sitting on the thin tree branch. Then her green eyes shifted and Satoru found himself pinned by a strong gaze. “Satoru, you’ve always been free to say what you want without any consequence because of your abilities,” she exhaled. “No one has ever complained about your behaviour because you’re still a child and because of your grandfather’s…influence. Now, your soulmate doesn’t know you and reacted how a normal person, outside of our society, may have reacted. Perhaps you need to learn to choose your words carefully, my dear son.”

He looked away from his mother’s piercing gaze and lifted the sleeve of his kimono. He didn’t like the subtle encouraging gaze. “Are you telling me to change because of my soulmate, Mother? Because she should accept the truth.”

For a moment, the birds chirped. Then, his mother exhaled; there was tiredness in her eyes. “My sweet boy, I’m telling you not to change because of her but she shows you what could happen to you once you’re old enough for Jujutsu High.” She looked almost tired, looking older than 29. “Not everyone who enters Jujutsu High may come with the knowledge of our society, perhaps there may be someone who would challenge your own world view as well.”

“Impossible,” he declared.

His mother stared up at the ceiling. She coughed and quickly covered her mouth with her hand. When she pulled her hand away, he saw a tiny glimpse of blood smeared on her hand. Concern slithered into his heart but his mother quickly changed the topic. “I hope, Satoru, that I’ll be able to meet your soulmate.” She looked at the photo of him, Father and her in front of the oak tree. “I would like to put a face to my son’s soulmate.”

“Why do you want to meet her? I’m going to be like Great-Uncle and never marry her,” was his declaration. His mother smiled serenely and looked down at her hand with unreadable eyes. “I’m going to ignore her the next time we meet! Maybe if I continue to ignore her, then our dreams will never cross again.”

His mother turned her head back to him. “I believe your soulmate will be a good influence for you,” her lips curved into a mischievous smile. “I believe your grandfather will absolutely love her; I know I might be just a little bit fond of your feisty soulmate.”

“I don’t think Grandfather will enjoy her. He hates anyone who goes against tradition.”

His mother smiled.

“That’s what will make it enjoyable, Satoru.”

He had fallen asleep as soon as he finished the homework set by his tutor. Now, he stood surrounded by buildings that felt like relics from another era. They were older and far more grim than the oldest structures he’d seen during his trips to Tokyo. Their cracked facades and darkened stone loomed over empty streets, nothing like the smooth, black roads he was used to.

Satoru paused before a Monument, its towering presence dominating the silence. Four faces were carved into the stone, their expressions solemn and unyielding. His eyes lingered on one of them—a face that resembled his soulmate’s. Sharp, proud, and eerily familiar, but older. And male.

The air was colder here, biting at his skin as if laced with shards of ice. Just like in his earlier dream, the streets were empty, though the numerous buildings seemed to wait, watching in silence. In the distance, he noticed a faded sign—a type his grandfather often visited after his grandmother passed away. His father’s voice echoed in his mind: Not a place for children.

Satoru tore his gaze from the sign and turned toward a building bathed in sunlight. The bright glow marked it as a signal, urging him forward. Scowling, he climbed the cracked, grime-covered stairs. His hand brushed against the rusted railing as a sharp gust of wind wrapped around him. The air didn’t carry the scent of flowers or musk. Instead, it smelled like ramen. Salty, rich, and unmistakable.

His chest tightened. This was another soulmate dream. The scent was the same from the first time, clinging to the air like a stubborn reminder. But the wind grew stronger, tugging at him, nudging him away from the stairs. It pushed against his back, dragging his feet across the uneven ground. He stumbled, the pull growing more insistent, until he stood before a wooden door.

Unlike the other doors, this door was slightly ajar, a soft light spilling out from the gap. Its worn wood was scarred with age, yet it seemed untouched by the grime covering everything else. The light beckoned him, warm and steady in the cold stillness. With a deep breath, he opened the door further and entered the apartment.

The first thing he noticed was the distinct lack of toys in the apartment. His home was filled with them, Grandfather would always say he deserved the best. The second thing he noticed was the lack of family photos. In his home, his mother decorated their home with family pictures. A reminder of the passage of time, his mother explained whenever he complained about the constant photos. He took off his slippers and took another step forward. There seemed to be no life in this apartment until h his eyes found his soulmate sitting on the table. Her head rested on a small notebook.

Sunlight shone down on his soulmate, bringing an angelic glow to her golden hair. In the silence, his soulmate was, almost, cute. She would have been cuter if she didn’t punch him or swore at him. Until she opened her mouth, he had been smug about the fact that his soulmate was cute with her whisker marks. He held his breath, squinting his eyes and holding onto the column as his soulmate lifted her head and glared at the notebook. Cheeks all blown up. She looked like a cute little pixie at that moment.

He needed to activate Limitless before he drew her attention again. Last thing, he wanted was to wake-up screaming and bleeding from her punch again. He got lucky that it had been one of his mother’s loyal servants that drew her attention, next time it might be one of the servants loyal to his grandfather. The old man would give him a long lecture about letting a girl hit him. He could already hear the disapproval in his voice, the thinned lips and the wooden cane he would use to threaten him.

“Hey.”

The girl spurned the chair around, causing the floor to creak, and locked her blue eyes on him. There was a fire of irritation in her eyes, her lips pressed into an ugly scowl. Less cute now. Good, he decided, it would be easier to ignore her when she looked like a curse instead of a pixie. Satoru wondered how she could look like a woodland creature like his mother, big blue eyes and small fame without a scowl, and looked like a creature from hell when angered. With a growing rage.

“You again?” she snapped, her lips did not budge from her scowl. “Did you come here looking for another punch, Jerk?”

The threat of another punch tempted him to rub his nose, but Satoru chose not to reveal it to her. He chose to stay in his spot, scowling. “Don’t think I’m happy about being here either!” he grumbled. “You know when you punched me, I actually got a nosebleed in the waking world! My mother nearly fainted because of you.” Actually, she had been surprised but if he could get his soulmate to feel just a little bit guilty, then a little white lie wouldn’t hurt.

She didn’t flinch, just stared at his nose before letting out a loud unladylike snort. “You sure? Because your nose looks fine, no sign of a broken nose or a nosebleed.” He scowled and she folded her arms against her flat chest. Her eyes glowed. “And I wouldn’t have punched you if you weren’t a jerk. When you act like a jerk, you should expect someone to kick your smug ass.”

Again, he had to defend himself. She sounded like she held no guilt for punching his nose. “My nose is fine because Mother helped me before my Grandfather saw what you’ve done,” he grumbled, and it was true. “If he saw what happened, he would make your life hell for hurting me.”

“So you need your grandfather to fight your battles,” she snorted. “Typical spoiled rich kids.”

His scowl deepened. Spoiled? He wasn’t spoiled. There were standards for him, if he didn’t achieve those standards then Grandfather would take away his toys or his screen time. “He doesn’t fight my battles!” She stared at him, unconvinced, and he turned his head away from her. “I bet you’re just jealous that I’ve someone who cares about me. You would be cuter if you weren’t jealous.”

His soulmate remained silent. He expected for her to admit and apologise to him, she did not. Instead her whole body trembled, her eyes began to tear up, and he swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Maybe, it had been the wrong thing for him to say. Because she had a similar reaction when they first met and she ended up punching him. That had been painful. “You wanna rub it in my face that my parents are dead, you asshole!” Her scream shattered the windows, jagged shards crashing onto the cold floor. The air became so much colder, like it had been dripping with ice.

He didn’t know she lost her parents but it explained everything. The lack of photos. The lack of toys. What did his mother tell him? To be careful with his words. He rubbed his neck, uncertain of what to say to her. What did people say in this scenario? Grandfather never allowed him to attend the funerals with his parents or him. Protection, he explained when he demanded and threw a tantrum to follow his mother.

“It wasn’t like you told me! How was I supposed to know something like that?” he stammered, avoiding her teary eyes. The floors felt like ice, nipping him to the bone, as the silence in the room began to suffocate him. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just…” he didn’t know what he had been thinking. It just came out without a second thought, if his parents were here with him, they would bow and apologise to her. But they weren’t here. Grandfather would have thrown some money at her to calm her down.

“You just, what? Decide to be a jerk?” Her voice cracked. “Why should I have to tell you? Only jerks would think to say something like that!”

He took a step forward, wincing at the glass shard pressing against his foot. Limitless, he realised, did not work in a dream space with his soulmate. “I’m not a jerk!” he said, his tone was more defensive than sharp. She gave him a dead look. “I mean…okay maybe that was a jerk thing to say, but I didn’t mean it like that!” He kept avoiding her eyes. The silence just grew heavier, like a pair of barbells on his back. “Look! I don’t know what you want me to say, okay! It’s not like I go around…knowing this stuff.”

She didn’t reply, just stared at him with a sharp glare that made him want to squirm. He sighed, taking a seat right in front of her. His feet hurt; it felt like a couple of glass shards had dug its way into his feet. “Fine, I’m sorry,” he said, his voice was quieter and the girl continued to look at him with blank eyes. “I know it  isn’t going to be enough to stop you being mad or anything but I didn’t know.”

“You want to prove you’re sorry?” she snapped.

He blinked, startled, as she jabbed her finger at the notebook on the table. “Then help me study for my exam. If I don’t wake up in time, I’m going to fail because I fell asleep instead of studying. I don’t want to hear those jerks in class laughing at me again because I bombed another stupid test!”

Her voice wavered slightly at the end, but her glare was unwavering, daring him to argue. She crossed her arms tightly, as if bracing herself for him to refuse. It was tempting. He just finished his own boring homework assigned from his own tutor, now to spend his dream time studying sounded more like a nightmare. He picked up the book, flipped through the pages, and pulled a face.

Nothing looked familiar to his geography homework set by his tutor. Were these countries even real? And why the hell would she need to know the political climate? She was, what? 8? 9? His own grandfather didn’t even teach him about these things when it came to Jujutsu Society. But it couldn’t be that hard. His soulmate couldn’t be that bad when it came to her studies, right?

“Fine,” he muttered, flipping the book open to a random page. “But don’t expect me to do all of the work for you and tell me what you need me to test you on ‘cuz I don’t know half of this things.” She blinked and he turned his head. “My tutor doesn’t teach me this advanced stuff, I can understand it though…but I’ve no clue about these things. I mean do normal kids learn this stuff? Like, do you need to know the routes and political climate of the Land of…Wind? Please tell me that isn’t an actual name of a country. Who comes up with this stuff?”

She glared at him. “Want to prove you’re sorry or not?”

“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’d look way less terrifying if you stopped glaring.”

Her eyes narrowed even more. “And you’d look way less annoying if you just shut up and helped me study.”

“I’m hurt.”

Chapter Text

Even before Iruka-sensei announced he was returning their test scores, Naruto had a good feeling about her test. Instead of the usual panic when she had done her test, her heart had been calm and her mind had conjured up the answers to the questions. The asshole’s words had been in her head when she did the test after all, his demands for her to explain the concept to him. Best way to pass the test is to teach it to me, had been his response when she complained about the whole thing to him. That whole dream had been her teaching the concept to that arrogant ass, trying to say it in ways that even she could understand.

At times, he had interrupted her and asked questions that had her scrambling for the notebook because he had that haughty smirk as he pointed out her shortcomings. Normally, she would have quit by that time but the bastard challenged her. So you’re going to quit because it’s that hard for you? She wanted to punch him but her desire to prove him wrong had been stronger than her desire to see that nose bleed again. It paid off if you asked her. When the test had come, she didn’t have that stupid urge to bang her head on the table.

This time, she knew, her score was going to be different. She knew it as Iruka-sensei began to hand the test papers back, his eyes flickering at her like he didn’t know what to make of her. The hatred was still there alongside another emotion, she could not quite place. Pride? Surprise? Or maybe respect? She hoped so. She had to endure that pretty jerk’s probing and complaining about how boring her subject was. Had to listen as the white-haired boy lounged in the dream like he was better than her. To him, her schoolwork was like a difficult game that he enjoyed, while for her, it determined whether or not people would just try to bring her down once more.

Some of her classmates had slumped their shoulders, a sign of a bad score, while others like Sakura, had a prideful smile on their lips. At this point, her confidence would shake and her whole body would have the beginnings of a tremor. Yet with each approaching step towards her, her head was calm like the blue skies and her heart was slow like the drifting clouds. Today would be the day where she could smile and puff her chest, not lower her shoulders and shout at anyone, who dared to make fun of her.

“Uzumaki,” Iruka-sensei said, his tone was curt as he flickered his eyes down to her test. “Good job,” he uttered those words in a such quiet voice that she had to strain her ear to hear it. He didn’t look her in the eye when he placed the test paper on her seat, just walked towards the next line of tables with a steady pace. She stared at his back for a moment before picking up her test paper with sweaty palms.

A B. There was an undeniable B on her test paper. The bright red ink was undeniable, just as undeniable as the whisker marks on her cheeks. For one moment, she wanted to pump her fist up in the air and screamed with joy at this achievement. She swallowed the urge instead. Just because she got a B, did not mean she could get away with screaming her joy. Iruka-sensei would find some way to punish her for being so happy. So she just cradled it against her chest. If she saw that annoying jerk again, she would thank him for his help.

Kiba must have noticed her odd behaviour because he nudged her. “What did you get this time, Naruto?” he asked as if he cared about her score, though she knew he just asked to rub it in her face if he got a better score. She should keep a poker face, except her happiness would not allow her not to smile. Behind her, she heard the snickers of her classmate. She knew what they were saying in those cruel snickers. Why ask her? She will always be the deadlast. She smiled, this time with pride, and locked her eyes on Kiba.

“I got a solid B,” she said, waving the test paper right in front of Kiba. The whispers died down as her classmates twisted their heads at her. Even that smug smile on Ami’s face faded, replaced with a scowl. Akamaru barked as her skipping buddy snatched the test paper from her, no doubt trying to see if she was messing with him. He flipped through the test, eyebrows furrowed together as he did the math under his breath. When the score added up, her skipping buddy handed the paper back at her.

She expected him to congratulate her like how their classmates would congratulate Sasuke for having a good score. Instead, he scowled and shook his head. “A B? How the hell—”

“—I studied, mutt,” she retorted, folding her arms against her chest.  Snorts came from all around, all of them disbelieving over the fact she had actually studied for the test. They mocked her all the time about how she didn’t study, yet the moment she scored higher than half of them, they found it difficult to swallow the pill. Funny when the tables were turned, they behaved more and more like assholes. She could change the whole thing around. She got the B, now she could get them to like her. To adore her like Sasuke.

The words must have triggered her classmates because they circled her table as soon as Iruka-sensei was out of the door. They were hyenas, ready to attack her for her grades. She narrowed her eyes at them, daring for one of them to utter the accusation on their mind. A few of the girls faltered, ready to run away from her glare, while the braver ones gave a level glared at her. More respect for them because they weren’t cowards.

“You must have obviously cheated,” one of the girls declared, she was in front of the crowd. “No way an idiot like you could go from an F to a B!”

In the past, she would charge straight towards her and pulled a huge chunk of that perfect, slicked-back hair. Her shrill screams would have been perfect, but her ears could pick out footsteps behind the door. A possible teacher. Not the time for her to attack. With this knowledge, she retreated her arm back to her side. She knew she would win the battle but not the war if she destroyed that hair. If she left a red mark on that pale cheek. It took her being called into the Principal’s office for the 100^th time for her to learn when to pick her battles. This time, it would not be worth it.

“Yeah, sure. Like I’d waste time trying to cheat instead of just passing the dumb test,” she said it with the hope that her classmate would see just how stupid she sounded when the words were uttered out loud. The whole classroom fell silent, too stunned at her retort. Flanking her right side, Shikamaru let out a quiet laugh and then he quickly covered it with a cough when Ino glared at him. No doubt, she hated that the boy was going against the popular idea of making fun of her.

Another sneer. The other female classmates were clearly unhappy about her sarcastic tone, it was clear in their eyes. “Please, like you could make that huge jump in grades,” she said. She had that cruel, smug smile. “You aren’t that smart, Uzumaki. Once a dead last, always a dead last.” The words implied like it was a fact of life, but if you asked her? It was a rule made by people, made by stupid people who never had to fight tooth and nail to survive. When she became Hokage, she would rewrite the stupid unspoken rule by people.

That people couldn’t change when they wanted.

“Funny, I’m the one who went from an F to a B,” said Naruto, waving the test paper for the whole class to see, “and last time I checked, you got a D in taijutsu.” She made her smile sickly sweet, a mirror of the smile that the girl always had and watched with a giggling heart at the tremor on her shoulders. “And you know what? I got this B because I work for it, I didn’t waste my time mooning over some stupid boy, who doesn’t even look at me.” She fluttered her eyelashes and glanced at Sasuke, who just glared at the windows. “Guess between me and you, I’m the only one who wants to be a kunoichi.”

The boys snickered while the girls trembled, their eyes murderous over her insult towards Sasuke. His defenders, she mocked. Like the asshole would appreciate the fact they were defending him. She didn’t know Sasuke, she hated how everything came easy to him—the love of their classmates, their admiration and the constant praise of their teachers, but he didn’t need anyone to defend him. She shifted in her seat and watched as one of the boys, he came from a civilian family, nudged his friend.

“Uzumaki has a point,” the boy whispered, his tone was different. A hint of admiration?

“Shut up,” another boy hissed with a scowl. “Say stuff like that and people will think you like her.”

This, she decided, was why she didn’t like any of the boys in her class. They would whisper admiration for her, only for them to flinch and take their words back whenever someone would remind them of her outcast status. They took pride for following the status pro but one day, they would crumble like the sand. They would bow down and uttered words of apologies for underestimating her. She would not accept their words, she would just smile and rub it in their faces for following people like sheep.

Shikamaru yawned and closed his eyes. “Troublesome but Naruto has guts to say what everyone is thinking.” His words were loud enough for everyone to hear but there was a hint of indifference. Was he saying this to show that he was taking her side on this stupid matter? She wondered if she should ask him but knowing him, he would just tell her that he said it because it was the cold, hard truth. That he wanted this whole drama to be done because the whole thing was a pain in the neck for him.

One of the other girls slammed her hands on the table, rattling the pencil cases and fluttering her test score. “Once an idiot, always an idiot,” the girl sneered right at her. “You think this one score changes anything? This,” she jabbed her finger at the test. “Is a fluke. You will never mount to anything, you’ll be just like your dead parents—a nobody.”

And that was when Naruto decided to screw the war tactic and break that girl’s nose.

A week. That was how long since Satoru had last seen his soulmate. He should be happy; his soulmate wasn’t all that cute whenever she snarled at him and she had to say weird things that made him want to wince. But she was near his age, the first kid he could talk to everyday and she wasn’t boring like the kids from the Jujutsu clans. She was rude, did not see his greatness, but she reacted. She screamed and punched him. It didn’t make her cute but at least it wasn’t boring. He hated being bored, even helping her study for her exams had been fun. She swore under her breath, threatened to hit him, but she would furrow her eyebrows as she tried to figure out how to explain topics to him. Since she was his soulmate, he reasoned, she had to be smart in some way. It just that his soulmate didn’t know she was smart. The other kids never reacted whenever he talked to them. He pushed the seared salmon to the side while his mother took small, careful bites of her own food. His father, on the other hand, was reading through his paperwork—the food on his plate was untouched.

Grandfather wasn’t here. He had gone for his business trip, a mission as his father had explained when he found his father in the dojo for his training instead of Grandfather. Training with Father was different from training with his grandfather. When his father trained him, he would state the flaws in his attack but would not punish him for those flaws. He was gentler. Grandfather hated it. It was why he wasn’t allowed to train him when Grandfather wasn’t here. He preferred when Grandfather trained him. Grandfather demanded perfection, made him go to great lengths to improve, while Father never cared for such things. Your mother’s influence was what his grandfather would say with a scoff.

He didn’t understand what his grandfather meant but his mother always disliked it whenever Grandfather pushed him to his limit.

Shaking his head, Satoru stared at the black charred parts of his salmon. It looked even less appealing. “Mother,” he poked his salmon once more before focusing his eyes on the warm eyes of his sweet mother. His father looked away from his paperwork, his brown eyes veiled with thin interest. “Did you always dream of Father?”  He kept his eyes focused on his mother as his heart raced with the wild hope that the lack of dreams was normal. A week ago, he would have been happy that it wasn’t there, but his soulmate was a kid just like him. He hated talking to adults. They were always boring outside of training.

The constant praise was nice. He always smiled at their praise, but his grandfather and his tutors would thin their lips whenever he tried to talk about Digimon with them. They also never wanted to play outside with him. Grandfather got him a Playstation, his mother and the servants would play with him but it wasn’t as fun. Mother would scream alongside him when he won, would tease him, but her eyes didn’t really light up with joy. The servants praised him when he won. Would it be different if he got to play with his soulmate? She probably would curse at him if he won.

“No,” his mother answered. She picked up her own salmon and carefully studied it with a soft smile. “I think if I dreamt of your father every day, I would be exhausted.” Her tone was amused, teasing like it always was whenever she spoke of his father. There was a moment of silence, his father’s mask of indifference faltered at his mother's words. One teasing word from his mother and that mask of his would break down. If Grandfather was here, he would scoff at the behaviour. Weak for some woman, was what his grandfather would mutter his breath.

Mother would always smile like a pretty little doll when his grandfather would utter those words, but her fingers would clutch the chopsticks like a knife. Like she wanted to stab him for those words. She would never do it. His sweet mother didn’t have the heart of a killer.

“Dear?” His father placed the paperwork to the side. He clasped his hands together and had a strange look, the same look that had the female servants giggling at his father’s antics and made his grandfather thinned his lips. Inappropriate in front of a child was what his grandfather would say but the old man would never explain anything to him. They would go to the bedroom, not long after, and play games. He wanted to join them but Grandfather would stop, tell him that it was not a game for children but adults. When you’re older, you’ll play that game as often as you want, was what his grandfather would say.

His mother smiled, laughing softly like she always did whenever Father gave her that look, and took a tiny bite of her food. “I told Satoru about the soulmate dreams and that we’re soulmates,” she admitted, her voice chimed like the bells. “It’s only natural Satoru would have a curiosity about soulmate dreams. It will be a matter of time before our son develops an interest in girls and I rather he hears from me then your Father when it comes to the matter of the heart. His views are…outdated.”

There was a tensed silence like there always were whenever his grandfather was brought up. The crickets chirped, breaking the silence for a moment. His father dropped his smile and had a sudden interest in his paperwork once more. That was always his father’s reaction. It made him wonder how his parents could be soulmates when they were so different.

“My father’s views may be…different but that doesn't explain why you think it would be exhausting if we talked every day,” his father commented, more warmly this time. “Between the two of us, you’re the more talkative one.” His lips curved into a playful smile as his mother took a playful bite of her own food. “I had to find creative ways to make sure you would stop with your endless chatter when we did meet in our dreams.”

His mother just gave a mocking sigh and then gave a sweet smile to his father. Like always, his father pinkened and coughed. “Honey, imagine if we had talked everyday during our engagement? There would be no spark, just pure boredom,” she dabbled her mouth with a napkin and closed her eyes. “The days when I talked a lot was because I had to wait a long time to talk to you but if we didn’t have to wait? Why we would find so little to talk about and I wouldn’t find reasons to worry about you when you went on your missions.”

When his mother explained it like that, he preferred not talking to his soulmate every single day. He pushed the rice back and forth, rolling it as his mind mused over what would happen if he talked to his rude soulmate every single day. His activities doesn’t change. It was as constant as the meals, the servants prepared for them. Not predictable. He inspected the pink skin of his food. Though his soulmate’s studies were more fun than his, he would rather prefer to learn Geography if it required a lot more thinking. It was much more stimulating than learning about map directions. He could care less about north, south, east and west.

“Satoru,” his father cleared his throat and diverted his eyes from the paperwork. His voice, like always, was more stringent and colder. An heir talking to another heir, not a father talking to his son. No emotions in his brown eyes. “I know you are not the type of boy who cares about romance or would take a sudden interest in soulmates.” He looked straight at the paperwork. “Is there a development I should know about?” Father and son, they were, but they had never been the type to talk with affection. It was not the Gojo’s way.

This would have been the same question Grandfather would ask if he was here. His heart raced just a little bit, and his palms sweated, Satoru glanced at his mother. She took a careful, measured bite of her food as her green eyes became sharper. A little bit less warm. Should he say the truth? Would it displease Mother if he admitted about his soulmate? It didn’t matter either way. His soulmate was not in the same country as him. Maybe not even in the same world. He had checked the maps after he woke up from his dream, he hadn’t seen another country called the Land of Fire or Land of Wind. She might as well not exist.

“Our dear son has found his soulmate,” his mother explained, casually like she hadn’t dropped a huge bomb on his father. Her lips curved into a smile, gentle and soothing but there was an edge to it. A hidden threat that Satoru couldn’t read. His father didn’t utter a word, didn’t even move, he only stared at his mother with unreadable eyes. “From what Satoru has told me about her, I feel like you would absolutely adore her. The daughter that you and I will never have.”

His father didn’t slam the paperwork on the table, but he might as well have from the way he dropped the paper on the floor. His eyes didn’t radiate the same warmth from before, they were resigned and then burned with annoyance. “And you didn’t think to inform me of this, Yasuko?” His father’s words dripped with icy fury while the air became colder, blasted with cold wind. His mother didn’t flinch, just took another bite of her food. “Our son has a soulmate and you kept this hidden from me.”

“If I told you when your father was here, would you have told your father about his favourite and only grandson having a soulmate?” his mother asked cooly. His father remained silent. That was an answer by itself. Pain coloured his father’s brown eyes. His mother wiped her mouth with a napkin, dainty-like, and nothing like how his soulmate would wipe her mouth if was here. “He may be our son but when your father is here, it’s his judgment that matters most—not your role as his father or as my husband.”

Satoru tore the charred skin of his salmon, finding more interest in the imperfect parts of his food than the rare arguments between his parents. This was not the first time they argued about his father’s desire to listen to his grandfather. This was, perhaps, the fourth time in his life that they argued. Even then, their arguments weren’t explosives like bombs. They fought and within a couple of hours, his parents would revert back to their usual behaviour. Their love, he knew from his grandfather and the servants, was odd. When his grandfather fought with his grandmother, he went somewhere else.

Grandmother would be calm, but Satoru had seen the tears in her eyes. She would become extra cruel with his mother when Grandfather left, Mother just kept her composure and smiled like a dove. It always rattled his grandmother. Your mother knows how to fight her battles, had been his father’s explanation when he asked his father about why he didn’t defend Mother from his grandmother. Until today, he didn’t understand. Today, his mother didn’t seem meek but a pantheress at that moment.

“These are matters that my father wouldn’t care for,” his father said, his tone had returned to being cold and detached. “Satoru is 9 and for matters like these, I would not allow him to influence our son.” There was no room for argument, like he truly did not want Grandfather to have a say about his soulmate. His mother didn’t relax, her facial expression was like an ice-sculpture. Incredibly beautiful and cold. “Yasuko, Satoru is our son. I’m more than aware of his vices, I’ve grown up seeing what it does to a woman but there is no telling if those two will end up together.”

Satoru wrinkled his nose and decided this was the best time to vocalize his own opinion. “I don’t even like my soulmate, Mother. She hits me and then she made me feel weird by telling me that she doesn’t have any parents. I had to say sorry to her!”

The words didn’t calm either of his parents down, instead his mother thinned her lips and stared straight at his father. Commanding. Pleased. Triumphant like his words had confirmed a hidden argument between his parents. His father slumped his shoulders like a ragdoll, exhaustion clear as day on his face. Those lines on his forehead stood out even more. He frowned. Wasn’t his words suppose to reassure his father? Why did it seem like he just made the whole thing even worse?

“I know your father has Satoru’s best interests at…heart,” his mother paused like it pained her to utter those words while his father picked up the paperwork, wrinkling the paper with tightened fingers. With a deep breath, Yasuko continued. “And it may be the case that Satoru might not end up with this girl but your father will make the baseless assumption that they will. That the line will be stronger if Satoru marries her, we got lucky,” his mother inspected her chopsticks. “We fell in love but not every soulmate falls in love with each other, not everyone chooses this. This relationship shouldn’t be forced on them.”

His father exhaled and flickered his eyes at him. There was that usual distance between them, it felt like they would never truly be father and son. It didn’t matter. Father would never really understand him just like how Mother didn’t really understand him. “We can discuss this later, Yasuko but I’m more than aware of how close you were to breaking our engagement.” His tone was final, that neither of them would discuss it again. His mother nodded, her own expression unreadable. “I’m aware you want our son to experience what you and I could never experience.”

“I would still choose you even if there had been a choice,” his mother said quietly.

His father smiled, just slightly but it might as well have been a stretched smile.

“And if things were different, I would give you all the children that you wanted.”

When the Principal pleaded and demanded for him to reason with Naruto, Hiruzen wanted to slump his shoulders and closed his eyes at the actions of his ‘ward’. He had been pleased with the knowledge the girl’s grades had improved, an impressive feat when he knew how much the 8-year-old hated sitting in her seat and studying. Boring was how she always described it whenever he had the time to persuade the girl to open her books. A tutor would have been ideal, but there was no one willing to tutor her. The one, who might be willing to tutor her, did not have the time nor the patience to do it. Kakashi was good but he was still concern of how much the boy saw his mentor in the girl. Concern that he might babble or have higher expectations of her due to Minato.

He could order someone to tutor her or agreed to take on one of Danzo’s instructors. The former could result in him having the girl being trained in all the wrong ways, could have the girl being punished for things that were out of line, while the latter would break her spirit. Would make her more of a tool than the human, she was. A weapon was what they needed but he didn’t want a cold-hearted machine. It would make it harder for her to connect to people when the time comes for her to do missions with other people. Might even make her question on why she should be a shinobi. It was detrimental in the long run. Another guardian would have been useful, someone to give her more ties to the village, but there was no telling of what would happen to her.

Humans were flawed. Humans, who lost loved ones, were more flawed, were more likely to take their rage out on an innocent child. The Uchiha Clan, when they had been around, had been a contender. It would have been a sign of good faith but then they began planning their coupe, kept refusing to compromise with him in all matters. If he had given Naruto to Mikoto as she requested, there was no telling if the Uchiha Clan elders would have used her against him and the village. It was a burden that no child should endure. He regretted it for the sake of Naruto, but the village came first.

Truly, there was no right response on how he could ease the girl’s loneliness without destroying her spirit or destroying this village.

It was why he found Naruto sitting across him, her tiny feet dangling against the chair as her blue eyes shone with perfect innocence. Between all of the orphans under his care, she was the one that caused the most trouble. The one he spent the most time with, outside of his own grandson, because of all the mischief and fights she got into. Out of all his wards, she was one of the most isolated and the one who lacked parental figures. He did not count. Both his sons would say, he was a failure as a father. Too busy with work. Too little time to see their progress. Asuma became even worse when his wife died and he resumed his position.

He didn’t blame his son. At 15, his son had lost his mother and lost one of his stable figures. The anger he felt towards him for choosing to work instead of helping him through the grief was understandable. The anger in his eyes, the screaming, and then his eventual abandonment. He understood. He should have been there for him, should have shown his own grief instead of burying himself with paperwork. But grief would not help rebuild the village. His wife would have snapped at him for grieving instead of making sure that the village ran smoothly.

Looking at Naruto, he felt the river of grief, the loss, and even the rage. She was innocent, he knew, and he knew it well. Minato had been excited for her birth, going to him for advice on how to raise a child like he had the answers on how to balance fatherhood with being a Hokage. Try to be there for your child when you can and explain to them that your job is important, had been his advice to the father-to-be. He couldn’t follow his own advice. It had been too late for him. Still too late because his sons resented him, had seen him as this perfect man. The Professor was his title but he was as human as them. Bleed just like them. Didn’t have all the answers. This was his first time in life as well.

“I heard you did well in your test, Naruto,” was how he decided to break the silence between them. He watched how those blue eyes lit up with joy, remarkably just like her mother and a hint of her father was in there. She was the perfect mix of the two. “Shall I expect you to aim for an A, next time?” She vigorously nodded her head, her face lighting up like it was new year. Like it always did whenever he gave her the words of acknowledgement, she longed for.

She was different from her parents, in this regard. Kushina never looked outwards for acknowledgment, she always found it within herself, while Minato never cared for such things. But both of them had came from loving families or grew up being loved. Until Kushina had come to Konoha, she had been the beloved granddaughter of the Uzumaki’s head. Minato’s parents had dotted on their son, worrying about him whenever he went out on a mission. This, he knew, was where the tragedy lies with Naruto. In the same circumstances, this little girl would not be seeking for validation.

These pranks would never come to be if her parents were alive. The fights would occur less if they were alive. She would have been spoiled by Minato like all girls were. Kushina would have fought with her daughter about her behaviour, about her grades because she had high expectations for this girl. He had high expectations too but as an outsider. Her pranks, her survival in the forest, and her own observation skills showed she was highly intelligent. Much more intelligent than her instructors gave her credit for. Even before the Academy, she would utter things that made him want to jerk his head and stammer at her choice of words.

“Huh-huh and then I’m going to take that big hat from you!” She crackled like this heavy hat of his would be the answer to all her problems. It would not. It brought more burdens then this child would ever comprehend. Late nights in the office instead of a lively dinner, where he heard his children prattle about their problems. This hat brought more loneliness than this child could never understand. He tightened his grip on the hat, lowered it just a little bit to hide his own feelings to this tragic child. Her lips curved into a mischievous smile but her eyes became just a little bit distant. Like it always did whenever he lowered the hat. “Is that why you called me? To give me that hat?”

The boldness of her words brought out a hearty laugh from him. Unrestrained. He coughed and lifted the hat just a little bit, staring at the confident, cheeky smile playing on her lips. “Your score might have been improvement but your behaviour towards your classmate was not,” the smile on her face faltered while he dropped his own smile. “This is the fourth time, this month, that the Principal has come to me with complaints about your fights, Naruto.” He was her guardian, yes, but there was mountains of paperwork for him to do. Missions reports for him to read. Budgets for him to approve. Supplies as well. Then, there was his own grandson that needed his attention. Both of his parents were on a mission, and yes he had the genins to watch him, they were also 12 and could be irresponsible at times.

One would argue he could make shadow clones but what good were shadow clones when one good hit was enough to knock them out of existence? When they reflected his own exhaustion? They could do his paperwork, make it more efficient, but the memory overload would fry his brain. Could knock him out of unconsciousness and then who would deal with this mess? Danzo? He might approve more of his own budgets, cut down on fundings that would not benefit the village. His teammates? They lacked foresight.

“She deserved it,” Naruto scowled. No further explanation but it was all the explanation he needed when it came to her. Despite what the Principal believed and what even the villagers believed, he was not brainwashed nor blind about the girl. His occasional observation from the crystal ball had allowed him to develop a keen understanding of Naruto’s patterns when it came to her fights. When a person was caged all around, all the weak spots struck, they either fled or fight.

Just like her mother, Naruto would always choose to fight first instead of retreating, regrouping and relentlessly attacking her attacker.

“What did she do to deserve it?” He kept his tone even, unbiased, and observed her carefully. In the eyes of the Principal and the girls’ parents, Naruto was a wild child that attacked without thought. They were always unwilling to hear the other side of the story. He could make them. Could order them. But when people’s hearts were blind, there was no way of opening them unless the person chose to do it. He could always force people to accept Naruto, that was what people assumed the Hokage could do, but when people were forced…they rebelled.

It would cause the destruction of Konoha if he forced people to acknowledge the girl. If he heard whispers of the girl’s status, he murdered them without thought. It was within the law and decree, he made. Danzo, he acknowledged, should have been murdered for leaking the girl’s status. But without the clear evidence, he had no viable reason to throw the man into prison. His rival could be a smooth talker when needed. Too smooth, he thought bitterly, with a resigned sigh.

“She called my parents nobodies and that I’ll be a nobody just like them,” she explained with a scowl. Her whole body quivered, trembling and shaken like it always did whenever someone insulted her parents. At that moment, she was not the strongheaded 8-year-old girl but a young orphan trying to find her way. The sight brought a bitter taste in his tongue. A need to tell her that her parents weren’t nobodies. Minato was her father, his successor, and a genius while Kushina had been a formidable kunoichi in her own right. Would have been even greater in the war if Danzo hadn’t argued about the need for her to be in the village.

What if the village was attacked? Would one risk their jinchuuriki in the fields? Or would it be better for her to be in the village, protecting it against potential threats? That had been the argument that chained Kushina in her tower, isolating her from the other shinobis in the field. It hadn’t been for the village. It had been undermining him as the Hokage. He exhaled. While he wanted to reassure her, he knew the struggle would be for Naruto if she knew the truth about her parents. About her father.

Protection from the ANBU could be given but what would protect her in terms of her mind? Of her self-worth? He had caught a glimpse, once, of a journal written of her dreams. Of whom she wanted to surpass. If Naruto knew her father was the Fourth Hokage, she would feel immense pressure to be like him. Would wonder why she couldn’t be like him. Would feel like she fell short of him. If the villagers knew, perhaps they would acknowledge her, but they would give her more pressure. Would expect her to be as brilliant as Minato.

A few might wonder why Minato would entrust the Kyuubi to his own child instead of someone else. It would cause them to dig around and might find out the truth about Kushina. It would fuel their resentment towards the girl. He would rather have the girl be ignorant and find her own footing, than for the villager’s resentment to grow. Than for her to crumble from the immense pressure of being Minato’s daughter. Cruel as it was, he would give her the few freedom that he could offer. The peace of mind that he could not give Sasuke Uchiha.

He could tell about Kushina but the girl was resourceful. She would do anything to find out about her and one could not know about Kushina without knowing about Minato. They had been inseparable, so deeply in love that the female shinobis had been resentful. If Naruto knew of her mother, she would learn of her father. The Uzumaki Clan? They were a safe bet. He exhaled. They had been powerful. Strong with their seals and barriers. Their life-force had been legendary. A result of their ancestor marrying an outsider as Mito had told them. The outsider had a sister, she was still alive as Mito had told him once.

To live that long, he would think, was more of a tragedy than a point of pride.

“Do you think she deserve to be sent to the hospital with a broken nose?” He chose to ask this question as he considered whether or not to inform her about her clan’s legacy. Could she handle it? Or would Naruto feel pressure to live up to their expectations? Would she grow arrogant? She had difficulty connecting with other kids, to know of a clan connection, might bring more difficulty for her. Civilian children would make her life difficult, might even taunt her for what she did not have.

She puffed her cheeks. “Should I sit there and be quiet when she insults me and my parents? She can’t get away with it because Mummy and Daddy complains about a broken nose.”

Hiruzen picked up his smoking pipe, took a deep breath, and studied the girl. Quiet? This was not something her parents would want for her. Kushina would have done what Naruto had done while Minato had always been more subtle. Deadlier. A hidden kunai that no one could have seen coming.

“Have you ever considered being more subtle when it comes to dealing with your classmates?” he suggested, it was wrong of him but he would rather not hear the Principal’s complaints about the girl. It was also future training for her when she became a kunoichi. And if she still wished to become Hokage when she was 18, then this was a valuable skill for her. Her eyes lit up with interest. “Shinobis don’t always fight battles where people can see, we fight battles when the opponent can’t be seen, Naruto.”

Her lips curved into a mischievous smile; her blue eyes narrowed with playful scheming. “So if I’m more subtle in my attacks, then I won’t get called out?”

“The best forms of retaliation are always more subtle,” he acknowledged.

If the Principal could not find evidence of Naruto’s actions, then it spoke volumes about his capability as a shinobi. 

Chapter Text

“Thank you,” were the first words that his soulmate said to him when she took a seat right beside him in front of his pond. Her words had been soft, awkward and embarrassed, thankfully she didn’t have a scowl on her face. The golden sunlight brought a subtle glow to her face, highlighting the pink flush on her cheeks. She looked, Satoru mused, almost like…a cute girl. This was better than her grumpy scowls. After what happened last time when he uttered the truth, he didn’t want another repeat of a broken nose. Grandfather would mock him for this, but Grandfather had never dealt with a girl, who can throw a mean punch. Grandmother had been docile but his soulmate was wild. That was the best way to describe her.

“You passed,” he grinned, and nudged his shoulder against her own. It was a dream, but her bare skin radiated, an overwhelming heat that seeped right into his skin. “I knew you were going to pass.”  His soulmate jerked her head, eyes growing wide. It resembled the pond before him, so bright and unearthly that he found himself looking away from her. She was overwhelming like this. When her eyes darkened, when her lips twisted into a scowl, he could say with confidence she wasn’t cute. Like this, she made him want to look away. She looked like a different person.

Her voice became softer, warmer and almost a bit loss. “You did?”

There was a soft summer breeze, almost a reflection of his soulmate’s words. His smile threatened to falter at her words because his soulmate should be just a little bit confident. She was his soulmate. His soulmate was amazing because he was amazing. She was meant to compliment him. He scowled, not at her but her lack of confidence, and then decided to reassure her—hoping it would get her to act normally. Act like her wild self. “I helped you, didn’t I?” he asked because it was the most obvious reminder. “And you’re smart, not as smart as me, but you’re pretty smart.”

There was no scowl on her face, no darkening of those whisker marks, just a strange silence between them. This was not better. If she screamed at him, if she called him an arrogant asshole like usual, or even just wrinkled her nose a little bit, it would be better. Instead, her bottom lip wobbled like she was getting ready to cry. He raised his hand, ready to give her the awkward pat on the back like he would give his mother whenever she became too emotional for him. But she slapped her cheek, a loud crack in the air, and turned her whole face away from him.

“You don’t even know me, you jerk.” Her voice cracked. Her back might be turned away from him, but the tremble on her shoulder was evident. The trees echoed her movement, it was like nature wanted to follow her lead. He rubbed the back of his neck. This was stranger than he would like, it almost reminded him of when his grandmother had been alive. When Grandfather argued with her, going to some far away place that made his grandmother sob before becoming crueller to his sweet mother.

Awkward at her sudden emotion, he laid on the grass and stared at the twirling clouds. “So? It doesn’t matter to me,” he replied. “I don’t need to know you to know you’re pretty smart.” Her words might not reflect it but the weird way she explained things had been entertaining and so alien-like that only a smart person could word it that way. Even if she wasn’t his soulmate, he would admit she was smart and fun to be around. For a girl.

“The Hokage congratulate me for doing well,” his soulmate had whispered, and she turned her head away. He hadn’t expected her to say those words, he had been expecting for her to yell at him like last time. Not be this quiet little girl, he didn’t know how to handle. Why couldn’t she be easy to read? When she acted like this, his heart skipped a beat and he found himself becoming quieter. Even within Jujutsu Society, he had never been quieter. Grandfather never cared for it. The strongest, his grandfather had whispered in his ear once, should not care about the sheep. His mother had thinned her lips when he parroted it to her when she tried to talk about his behaviour.

Father and Mother had an argument over his words. His father must have talked it with his grandfather because his face had been slightly bruised, his eyes had been glazed over like a doll after the talk. After that day when he did the same thing again, neither his father nor mother brought it up.

Shaking his head at the memory, unwilling to think deeply at the cause of his father’s bruised face, Satoru focused the topic back on his soulmate. “And that makes you happy?” he asked, cocking his head to the side. “I don’t get why you would just be happy with something as simple as that.” He breathed in the ramen-soaked air, this was one of the few ways he had to remind himself that this was just a dream. That his soulmate lived in a different country. “You just get quiet and weird because someone said something so nice. If it was me, I already know that I’m great.” Why don’t you? It was there on the tip of his tongue but to say it, would make him weak.

His soulmate laughed, this time it was as bitter as the coffee that his father loved to drink. “Of course, you wouldn’t understand.” She gripped her arms and glared at the pond, it did nothing wrong, but his soulmate was odd in that way to be irritable at his pond. “Everything must have been handed to you in a silver plate without you working hard.” Her voice hardened as her fingers gripped the grass, tearing it like it was a chunk of hair. Dirt filled her nails. “It’s not stupid to want someone to notice that you’re trying your hardest. That your hard work is going somewhere.”

It was strange how different they were from each other, Satoru decided as his soulmate threw her pebble against the pond. This time, it rippled till it formed a wave, so large that it threatened to soak the oak tree that his mother loved so dearly. Grandfather always told him that it was weakness to seek validation. The weak, he had once said, sought validation from the strong. This girl was strong, she was his soulmate. No soulmate of his was weak. His soulmate was meant to be his equal, yet his soulmate didn’t act like it. He hated it.

“I don’t get it,” he admitted with a scowl. “Why does it matter so much to you? The Hokage noticed you. Big deal. You were still smart and strong before he said anything. That didn’t just start because someone gave you a pat on the head; it’s inside of you.” He furrowed his eyebrows as the clouds began to twist together like two snakes entwining together. “I mean, yeah, it’s nice when people notice…I guess. But if you’re strong, you don’t need that right? You already know.” His soulmate was silent, her lips parted just a little bit like his words were some kind of arrow. “Don’t you?”

She swallowed and cradled her knees closer to her chest, it was almost as if she was shielding herself from him. Her whole body began to quiver but this time, there were no tears pouring down her eyes. Just wobbly lips. Satoru, inwardly winced, picked up another pebble. Strangely, it wasn’t smooth planes but rough edges. The pebbles were always smooth at home when he was awake. But dreams made everything different.

“You really don’t get it,” she whispered, her voice was quiet but fierce. Fierce like a furious lion battling its way out of a cage. “It’s not just knowing that you’re strong. It’s about proving it.” She grabbed one of the nearer pebbles, tossing it up and down like a bouncy castle. “To everyone who thinks you’re nothing. To everyone who keeps looking down on you because they had a head start on everything.” Her voice grew more passionate, more heated as she threw the pebble at the pond. “When the Hokage noticed my hard work, it felt like all the crap I’ve been through, all those nights when I looked at the moon, meant something. That it is my sign I’m one step closer to achieving my dream.”

If Grandfather was here, he would scoff and call his soulmate weak for such melodramatic thoughts. This girl was his soulmate, she was meant to be strong and if not now, then maybe later. She had to be. He refused to believe for one single second, he was saddled with someone weak. Mother and Father complimented each other, his soulmate had to compliment him. With a deep breath, he inspected the pebble with steady hands. “If my grandfather was here, he would say you’re too dramatic and too emotional. He says it’s a weakness,” he admitted, a numbness seeping into him. “I think he’s right because why prove yourself to a bunch of people, who thinks nothing about you? If they’re idiots then why bother? They ain’t going to become smarter in a blink of an eye.”

He tossed the pebble across the pond, no ripple formed. “I don’t waste my time on blind people because it ain’t my job to convince them, it’s their job to see.” The winds became still as his soulmate had a strange expression, like her world had been shattered in some way. “But I guess it’s different for you. You take it as a sign but if I were you, I don’t take the Hokage noticing you as a sign that you’re smart or strong.” He pointed to his chest. “You’re strong. You don’t need someone to say it. Those idiots? They just don’t see it.”

She didn’t smile at his words but emotions had return to her eyes. Not irritation but not happiness. He didn’t quite know how to describe it except the emotion was similar to his father whenever his mother uttered some weird comment. Like she was thinking deeply about something. Those blue eyes suddenly averted his own, her lips curved into a slight smile. “You know for a boy with a big head, you can be surprisingly nice.”

“Is it really a big head when you know you’re the best?” He offered her a cheeky smile, but his soulmate didn’t find it amusing. She just offered him an unimpressed look before shaking her head at him, her hair smacking him on the cheek. A single hair strand tickled his nose, tempting him to laugh at the gesture. He bit his tongue, swallowed the sneeze, and ignored the way her blue eyes stared right at him. “Cuz that is not the definition of a big head…”

“Naruto,” she declared. Were her parents addicted to ramen to give her such a weird name? He dug his fingers against his skin, the sharp pain stopped him from asking the question that would earn him another punch. Naruto nudged her elbow against his own, her warm skin chasing away the lingering coldness on his own skin. “And you can’t change the meaning of the big head ‘cuz you don’t like how true it is. You do have a big head.”

There was a longer pause now. Birds began to sing their songs, an encouragement to open up like the wounded petals of the flowers on his other side. He could not say anything but Naruto spoke a lot. And it wasn’t like she would utter the truth to his grandfather, to his mother or even his own father. Even if she did, it wasn’t wrong. It was a well-known fact in his society about him. “Everyone tells me that I’m the best.” From the moment he was born, he heard people say that he was the best. The strongest potential to become the strongest Jujutsu Sorcerer. “I can’t remember a time when someone hasn’t called me the best or the strongest.”

A moment of silence before Naruto turned her head away, her own lips scowled like she was as uncomfortable with his vulnerability as he had been with hers. He relaxed his shoulders, it reassured him. This wasn’t a one-way street of awkwardness. “You know I hate guys like you,” his soulmate grumbled, her voice was less fierce and quieter. More awkward like she also didn’t know how to communicate. “Sasuke is like that too! Everyone in school keeps calling him the best and I really hate it.”

“Is he your friend?” he asked, noting the scowl on her face. He felt a reassurance at the scowl, at the way her eyes had lit up with irritation at the mention of this boy. He would have felt happier if she had sworn when he asked the question but today, it seemed, was the day when he wouldn’t get to smile at her bad language. He couldn’t help but wonder why the boy wouldn’t be friends with his soulmate. She was fun and she would make things interesting.

His life had gotten more interesting with her around.

“As if an ass like that can be my friend,” Naruto declared. She looked straight ahead at the tree, lingering on the thick branches. “He’s a real jerk and I mean a bigger jerk than you.” His lips twitched. Mother would be pleased at the knowledge that his behaviour wasn’t the worst. She stretched her arms and looked up at the clear blue skies. “He calls me a loser and he doesn’t even care that people are praising him. He just shrugs it off and just,” she balled her hands into a fist. “He just gets all the sympathy. His clan is gone? Everyone is trying to be his friend, and he just doesn't…care. I would kill for something like that! I’m happy with Hinata but y’know it would be nice to have more friends, more people to talk to because Hinata has to be trained by her Dad.”

He could understand her view, though he envied her. She had a friend. A friend, she could talk to while he had no one but his Mother and the servants. He ought to take her side when it came to this Sasuke guy but Mother didn’t always take Father’s side in arguments.

 “So you’re jealous that Sasuke gets called a genius, gets a lot of sympathy and you’re angry because he doesn’t care?” He asked, nodding his head slowly. “Sounds like someone I can understand.” He wouldn’t care either because what good was sympathy? Why care about the words spoken by weaklings? Satoru inhaled. “When everyone’s watching you, it gets old fast. Maybe he’s just sick of hearing the same stuff over and over.” He liked it when he got the compliments but they could be boring at times. “Still, he’s an idiot for calling you a loser and you should just ignore him.”

Naruto grew silent for a moment. “Ignore him? You don’t get it,” she clenched her fists and glared at the rippling pond. “If I ignore him, it’s like I’m letting him win, like I’m agreeing with him that I’m a loser. And he’s wrong, they all are.” She shifted in her spot, her eyes growing more distant. “But it’s not just him. It’s…everyone. People will never look at me the way they look at Sasuke. When he lost his family, I thought I finally had someone to connect with in our stupid class but…they treated him differently.” Her voice hardened. “He doesn’t even have to try, and I just hate that.”

He didn’t know what to say to her. It was, perhaps, the first time in his life where he had no comeback. So he did the only thing he could do—he just remained silent. After all, what could he say? He could never really understand her desire to be seen. That passionate need for someone to look at her. He was just 9. The answer to her problems weren’t on him. It was funny, he realised, he couldn’t even understand his own soulmate.

“I know you don’t get it, no one does,” his soulmate admitted with a laugh. Unrestrained was how he would describe her laugh. She looked straight at the sky and for the first time, Satoru noticed that the sky was now a mixture of sky blue and black. Both the sun and the moon hung on either side of the sky. Further proof that it was a dream. “When it comes to these problems, it feels like I’m alone in this whole wide world.” She closed her eyes. “But since you aren’t real, it’s easier for me to tell you. You aren’t someone in my class or the year above, you won’t use it against me.”

A sorrowful song, barely audible, drew Satoru’s attention. He looked towards his home, where no one existed. In this dream, they could walk up to his house, and he could play with her. Could just shift her weird thoughts away from her problems but his mouth couldn’t suggest. He couldn’t even tell her that he was real. Because what was the point? They might never really meet, and it would be worse for her and for him. In here, he could be free. In the real world, Grandfather would never approve of her. She was wild and everything his grandfather detested in a girl.

He would just ruin it like he did with all the others. Only this time, he enjoyed his soulmate and her weird ways.

“Look I might not understand everything you’re going through, but I do get one thing,” he paused and met those blue eyes with a grin. “Maybe I’m real, maybe I’m not real. Either way you ain’t invisible to me and that is saying something.” He raised his tone and widened his smile even more. “That is saying a lot ‘cause I don’t bother noticing anyone who isn’t interesting. So the problem isn’t you, maybe they are the idiots for not seeing how great you are. How the real loser is them.”

She grinned and rested her head on the side of her cradled knee. Her golden hair became a curtain, barely allowing him to see the unreal glow of her blue eyes. “Y’know if you act like this, I think you can make a lot of friends,” he blinked and she turned her head away from him. “Though I don’t think girls will like you, they always go for the mysterious, jerks types for some reason. I think they’re idiots because why go for a guy, who doesn’t care for you?”

“Girls have cooties,” Satoru declared.

Naruto laughed. “I think guys have it too but the girls in my class says I’m too dumb to understand,” she wrinkled her nose. “But I got to pretend to like a guy soon or else they might think something stupid…like I have a crush on Sasuke or something. What I feel for that jerk is pure hate.” Her tone reflected her words and Satoru found himself grinning at her words. He wanted to point out that he was a boy too but then remembered that Naruto didn’t think he was real.

It was better for him to change the topic.

“Who are you thinking to use as the fake crush?”

Naruto tapped her chin, her brow furrowing. “If I had to pick someone, it’d be Shikamaru,” she said. “Kiba’s fun, but the second he hears it, he’ll never let it go. He’ll tease me like crazy and probably think I actually like him.” She wrinkled her nose. “And Choji? He’s great, but if he found out I was lying, he might feel bad. His dad might even stop him from hanging out with me on the playground.” Her tone became thoughtful. “Shikamaru is the best bet because he thinks these things are troublesome and wouldn’t believe it for a moment. He’s actually pretty smart, he’s just a lazy ass.”

“So you like the lazy type?” he teased her as he stood up from his spot. The lush green grass felt so much softer than earlier, like little feathers tickling his feet. His soulmate scowled, her face twisted in irritation, and he laughed. “I’m kidding. I know you think boy are as disgusting as I see in girls, but you have to admit—it sounds like you like him the most out of all the boys you told me.”

She stood up. “Well out of all my male classmates, he is one of the nicer ones. Choji is actually the nicest guy I know but his Dad hates me for some reason,” he blinked and his soulmate rubbed her chin. “And in his own way, he does defend me and his Dad is just indifferent to me, which is a lot better than having a Dad who hates me.” She sighed. “If it was up to me, I won’t need this tactic but my classmates are going to think it’s weird that I don’t have a crush. If it was last year, I would say…Sasuke’s cousin.”

“Why?”

She blinked. “Oh because he was funny and he was always so nice to me,” her eyes lit up just a little bit. “When I heard he died, I was really sad because he always helped me hide from the villagers after my pranks. He even gave me suggestions on how to make my pranks even better.” Naruto looked at him for a moment. “I never knew how he died and I’m not a bitch to ask Sasuke about what happened. Even I know better.” She looked away and stared at the pond with thoughtful eyes. “I hope he’s in a better place and that his death hadn’t been painful. He was nice.”

He stared at her, letting her words sink in. “He sounds like he would’ve been fun,” he said after a moment, shaking his head. “But don’t you think it’s kinda weird? Like…you’re picking someone so opposite of him for this whole fake crush thing. Doesn’t it feel like he’d call you out for it if he were here?”

Naruto shrugged, her face unreadable for a moment before she flashed him a smirk. “Probably. But a girl’s gotta survive, and I don’t need the Sasuke fan club screaming at me about how he ‘belongs to them.’” Her voice dripped with mockery, and she rolled her eyes. “We’re training to be ninjas, but those girls are more worried about catching a husband or boyfriend than becoming great kunoichi.”

“Listen and listen to me well, Satoru—women are good for only one thing: producing children.”

That was what his grandfather would say, and if Grandfather was here, he would be calling all sorts of nasty names to his soulmate for her thoughts. That she was foolish for having such big dreams. Until he met Naruto, he would think the same. After all, his mother stopped being a Jujutsu Sorcerer after she gave birth to him. His grandmother didn’t even practise it, Grandfather had forbade it from what his father explained. All the other women in the different clans had the same thought process.

Yet his soulmate had such big dreams for herself. Dreams that went against everything Jujutsu Society stood for. Women in power? It was rare, barely even heard of, and yet he wanted to see it. Not because of him. But because of his own soulmate. She was so ridiculous that he wanted the world to be what she envisioned it to be. He could never see the world, she envisioned, but he could make one here. He wanted a world, where girls like her could exist because they were fun. Because they saw the world in a way his grandfather would never understand.

If a girl wanted to be strong, then why hold them back?

Chapter Text

It was only during their kunoichi lessons when Naruto was allowed to sit beside Hinata or be partnered with her. Today, their kunoichi’s instructor wanted them to bring flowers and arranged them. One must blend in with the civilians was the explanation that their kunoichi instructor had said when she asked her about why they had to learn something like this. A way to send messages too as she had sneered at her. She held herself back from pointing out that the boys weren’t made to do this. One wrong word and the woman might separate her from the other students.

She had done it once when she complained about the need for them to learn cooking when the boys were free to do what they wish in that particular free period. A long lecture had been given to her, and the Third Hokage had been exasperated with her behaviour. Today, she was not going to allow herself to get called out by the instructors. So when given the opportunity to pick the flowers out for their flower arrangements in pairs, she immediately paired up with Hinata and dragged her to the most secluded area in the field. Far away from the cruel eyes of their female classmates and where the most beautiful flowers could be found. Her hiding place for when Hinata wasn’t in the Academy.

These fields were filled with hibiscus, sunflowers, roses and so many other flowers. There was no definite pattern in the growth of these flowers but with the way they gathered together like a fence, it felt like the best way to escape reality. Even now as she plucked the blue hibiscus flower, it felt like a dream. Not from the lack of cruel whispers and snickers but from the unearthly glow of this flower. It reminded her so much of that boy. That boy, who smiled with so much confidence and say things that tightened her throat.

Boys were jerks but why did her imagination made him seem like a nice guy? He was just like the hibiscus. Unnatural. Blue hibiscus, she remembered from Hinata’s blabber, meant calm, serenity and reflection or something like that. That pretty boy was like that, except the calm and serenity part. He always made her reflect in some way. Taking a deep breath to sooth herself, Naruto twirled the flower and flickered her eyes to her best friend. Hinata had chosen to pick up the sunflower, breathing it in with a slight, serene smile on her lips. With a steady voice, she picked up another blue hibiscus.

“Hinata, guess what? I had that dream about the pretty boy again,” she stroked the soft petals of the flower, scrunched her nose and closed her eyes. His face was forever imprinted on her mind from his smirk to the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. “Until yesterday, I thought he’d never show up again, but there…he was, last night. He still had that same stupid smirk.”

She had been hoping to see him again. He helped her passed the test. It was only fair, she reasoned, to tell him about her grades even if he wasn’t real. Because if it was not for him, she knew with enough certainty that she probably would have failed that stupid test. He had been so arrogant by pointing out that he helped her but it had been nice. As imaginary as it was, she had felt her throat tightened when he said that he knew she would pass the test. Other than Hinata, no one truly believed in her.

Naruto swallowed. I really wanted to hug him even if he has cooties. Her gaze met Hinata’s. There was a thoughtful look on her face, morphing into a look of expectation, lips curving into an encouraging smile. Naruto twisted the stem, looping the tip to the stigma while she waited for the inevitable question from her best friend. “You didn’t call him a pretty jerk?” It was more of a question than a statement on the nickname she had gifted for her imaginary boy.

Oddly, she wanted to keep the reason to herself about why that white-haired boy had shifted from the nickname of ‘pretty jerk’ to ‘pretty boy’. She couldn’t reveal how vulnerable she had been towards the imaginary boy: she just did not want to be seen for being weak and insecure to her best friend. To Hinata, she was supposed to be this incredibly confident girl. Would she still be her friend if she knew about her doubts? About her insecurity?

From the fence of the flowers, the other girls talked with loud voices and gossiped about Sasuke and his clan. Yesterday, she would have been irritated with the way they fawn over him but today, her stomach clenched. Maybe he’s sick of hearing the same thing over and over again. It echoed her ear now whenever someone brought up that asshole’s name. He did lose his clan. Maybe he didn’t want people to keep reminding him of the fact he had lost them. She scowled. Stupid boy had made her feel some sympathy for the bastard.

“He was acting nice for once,” she admitted, surprised at the softness in her voice. “Don’t get me wrong, he was still being self-centered but he wasn’t a jerk.” He was someone, she could see herself being friends with. Someone who just fitted in her life just like Hinata had, so effortlessly. Like he was always meant to be there. Sadly, he wasn’t real but if he was, well they would be good friends. Maybe even the best of friends.

Beside her, Hinata offered her a thoughtful glance that meant she had more questions to ask. Usually in an attempt to get more words out of her stubborn mouth. She refused to continue. With a sigh, her best friend asked in a patient tone. “What did he say? Why did you stop calling him a pretty jerk? You never move a person up from their title, Naruto. Shikamaru is still a lazy ass to you despite his…half-hearted attempt to defend you, yesterday.”

She released the loop and tucked the flower into her ear. It would be the centre piece for her flower arrangement, its unearthly beauty needed to be seen by the whole class. “The day I see Shikamaru put some effort and stop being a sexist jerk will be the day I move him from lazy ass to just Shikamaru,” she undid her braided hair and looked up at the slow-moving clouds. “And I started calling him ‘pretty boy’ because…” she swallowed and scratched her cheeks, suddenly feeling flustered under her best friend’s curious. “Well, he said I didn’t need anyone to tell me I’m strong or smart. He said I already am. Weird, right?” She laughed with the hope of removing the awkward air between them.

This was the first time she ever uttered her insecurity outloud to Hinata. To her best friend, she had always been the girl who screamed to the whole world of becoming Hokage. Of becoming the strongest kunoichi the world had ever seen. But these words showed her best friend that she was just as insecure as her. That her constant praise to her best friend were one of lies because she couldn’t believe in herself.

She still didn’t believe the pretty boy’s words, it was still a figment of her imagination but it did act as a balm to the wound in her heart. His presence, she would admit, brought a sense of warmth in her cold, lonely life. In her dream, they had played a game called Digimon and other weird devices. He had grumbled and pouted whenever she won in those video games, demanding for another rematch, and she would rub it in his face whenever she won. It wasn’t the same friendship with Hinata but she slept better when she dreamt of him.

Hinata brushed her finger against the sunflower’s petals before weaving the sunflower onto her other ear. “It’s not weird, Naru-chan. I think he’s right,” she admitted with a soft smile. “You’re really smart. You…you always see me, not just my weird eyes. Nobody else in class does that.” Naruto scowled at the reminder of the cruel words thrown at her best friend. It had gotten less since they became friends but if she heard another boy make fun of Hinata, they better get ready to go to the Medic-Nin for some unexplained itchiness. Her best friend giggled. “That makes you a lot smarter than everyone in our class.”

Naruto fiddled with the sunflower, straightening it as Hinata smiled warmly at her. It felt different when Hinata said it, maybe it was because her best friend was real. She was someone, who truly knew her. Pretty boy didn’t really know her. He hadn’t seen the way her classmates mocked her whenever her bad grades were announced. The subtle sneers from Mizuki-sensei whenever her bad grades were announced. The sighs from her teachers whenever they saw a lack of improvement in her grades.

In any case, he didn’t really know her for him to be so confident in her.

From behind the fences of flowers, she saw cruel brown eyes peaking out alongside the hints of violet hair. Ami. Her lips were curved into that annoying sneer, a hint of her plans because she was as predictable as her own ramen order. Her eyes darted to Hinata, who was blissfully unaware of the most annoying fangirl approaching them. She yanked the flowers out of her hair, hiding them beneath her orange tracksuit jacket. Never show her girly side in front of her.

“Well, if it isn’t the Loser and her little pet,” Ami sneered, pushing the flowers aside and crawling into her safe heaven. Naruto clenched her jaw, balled her hands into a fist and swallowed the urge to scream at her. Pet? Hinata was her friend. Her best friend. Her equal, not someone she ordered around like Ami did with her cronies. Or how Ino would behaviour to that meek Sakura. Screaming it would be fine but bruising that pale face could earn another detention.

Naruto breathed in the flowery scent, gripping the stem of the flower like a lifeline. “What are you doing here, Ami?” Bitch was the word she wanted to spat at the spoiled girl but Ami could never handle it when someone told the truth to her. She would cry crocodile tears to the teacher, smiling cruelly after the teachers punished her for her foul language. As the Hokage had told her, if she wanted to make her pay for the insult towards Hinata, she would need to be subtle.

And she knew the dirt that could be spread throughout the Academy, knew who would babble the gossip without any regard. Ino hated Ami as much as she did, she would have absolute joy in hearing the information about Ami’s mother. You insult my best friend, I’ll make it difficult for your whole family to be respected. The joy of not having parents meant she was out in the streets more often, meant she saw things that kids shouldn’t see in the dead of night. How would Ami feel if she heard whispers of her father meeting another woman in the dead of night? If she heard her father was considering leaving her mother for another person? It was cruel but she called her best friend, a pet.

“Let’s go, Hinata,” she told Hinata, who stared at her with concern. She knew why. When Ami would insult Hinata, she usually slammed her fist against Ami’s nose or yank a huge chunk of her hair. It was tempting but hitting the bitch didn’t seem to be enough to get the message across. The gossip, she decided, was going to be the one to turn the tide against her. A punch could heal and would get her in trouble but gossip? It was a kunoichi’s weapon and the right rumour would break that smug mask. What Ami took pride was her supposedly picture perfect family: the rich merchant father and his vapid trophy wife. Would she still be so arrogant when she knew some pretty, young woman had ensnared her father?

Ami clenched her jaw and called out to her when she began to pull Hinata away. “Running away, Wannabe Hokage?” Mockery dripped in her tone and it was enough for her to stop in her tracks. Wannabe Hokage? Was she asking to get punch? She was going to become Hokage. Hinata tugged on her arm, a signal to walk away. She yanked her hand, twisted her body around and coiled her arm.

Why prove yourself to a bunch of people, who thinks nothing about you?

The pretty boy’s words acted like a cold river of water, cooling her anger just enough. Why was she letting this bitch affect her? She knew she was going to become Hokage. Let her talk shit about her, she was the one who was going to laugh when she became Hokage. “Running away? Nah, I just didn’t want to waste my time on someone who’s all talk but no brains or brawns,” Ami’s jaw clenched and Naruto glanced at her best friend. Hinata looked at her with trembling lips, a hint of her holding back her own laugh. “By the way, we both know between me and you—I’m the one who’ll become Hokage. And you?” She curved her lips into a mocking smile. “You’ll still be here, bossing people around ‘cause it’s the only thing you’re good at.”

Ami trembled, her eyes grown large with disbelief and then it was replaced with fury. “Hokage? You?” She laughed, so loud and filled with mockery that the birds flew away, rattling the branches. “The only thing you’re good at is running your mouth, Wannabe Hokage. You think you passed one test, you’ve what it takes to be Hokage?” Naruto flexed her fingers as the girl continued to run her mouth. “And your little pet here? She’s probably the only one dumb enough to believe in you.” Her fingers dug into her palm as her best friend tugged her hand. Ami continued, unaware of the impending danger. “You’re just a loser with big dreams and no way to back them up.”

“If they’re idiots, then why bother?”

The boy’s words echoed in her ear, a trigger for her to not smash her hand against that pig-nosed girl’s face. Punching her face would be nice but why bother with someone, who was as stupid as Ami? She was going to become Hokage. Restraint was needed for her to become Hokage. She had seen how the old man had to restraint himself whenever he dealt with idiots. This was another practise for the day she became Hokage; she chose to use this reason to restrain herself.

Hinata tugged her hand again, grounding her even further in her reality. She curved her lips into a smirk, straightening her spine and breathed in the flowery scent of the hibiscus. It clung to her jacket, a constant reminder of that pretty boy and his words. “You know what?” Her voice became cold as her grin widened. “You’re right. I’m a loser—right now.” Ami’s eyes widened while her best friend dropped her hand, a stunned silence. “But here’s the thing about losers, Ami.” She leaned forward, smiling manically at her. “We don’t stay losers forever. We get better. We fight harder. And one day, when I’m Hokage, you’ll still be here, doing what you’re best at: talking a big game while being a nobody.”

She wasn’t done yet, not by a long shot because she insulted not just her but her best friend, her equal. “And Hinata?” her voice softened as she darted her eyes to her best friend. “She’s not dumb for believing in me. She’s smart enough to know that I don’t need to prove anything to you.” Her hand wrapped around her friend’s softer hands as her tone sharpened once more. “So go ahead. Keep running your big, fat mouth. I’ll let my future do the talking because one day: you’ll wish to have my life.”

With those words, she turned and dragged Hinata away. Walking away, she heard the furious splutter of Ami. There were probably a lot of insults thrown at her—Deadlast, Wannabe Hokage and Fox. It didn’t matter anymore. She won. They knew she won because Ami couldn’t deny the truth. She was a nobody. Take away her father, what was she? Just another middle-class kid. Her grades were nothing special. Her looks? Nothing special either.

She was the winner.

“You’ve out done yourself, Satoru,” his grandfather declared, his voice filled with the rare pride that he rarely bestowed on him. In the past, he would smile and gloat about it. The damage done on the dummy was overwhelming—disintegrated, the wooden walls once there was now gone, and there was that lingering odour of smoke. The servants had run off, mumbling to each other about the destruction, while his grandfather had that smile of pride. Satoru only stood, just silent.

He felt the sweat dribbling down the side of his face, so cold against his heated skin. The usual pride was gone. He should be smug because his grandfather was staring at him, waiting for the usual pumped-fist and smirk. But his mind wandered to Naruto. He doesn’t even have to try and I hate it. He didn’t put the effort because of her. He didn’t do it because of his grandfather either. For once, he just wanted to see what his capabilities were. To prove to his soulmate that he could try and still be amazing. Usually, he did this because it was a game for him but today, he just wanted to see why she would try so hard.

He flexed his fingers as his grandfather stared at him, expecting and waiting for some form of response to him. “Thank you, Grandfather.” It was better to keep his tone cold and cool than to show excitement. Grandfather never enjoyed it whenever he showed some form of emotions to him. Emotions were for the weak in his eyes. He would hate Naruto. Naruto showed her emotions, not all of them, but she didn’t look like a marionette.

Satoru pushed the thought away and listened to the faint stamps of the crane. “Good,” his grandfather knelt down and picked up the splinted dummy, crushing it between his index finger and thumb. “If you keep this up and by the time you go to Jujutsu High, you’ll be the strongest sorcerer in the whole school and then perhaps the whole world.” He flicked the ashes to the side and straightened his spine, looming like a large mountain.

Despite the crane, his grandfather still had the muscular structure of a man in his 40’s instead of 60’s. His eyes were the same muddy brown eyes as his father. Except his father had no wrinkles while his grandfather had angry lines on his face. Father had the occasional warmth while Grandfather was like an iceberg. The true epitome of strength in their clan. Even the servants trembled whenever his grandfather appeared, their chatter would die down and their eyes shone with fear. Grandfather called it respect; his mother called it fear.

Was that the point of being the strongest to cause fear or to cause respect? Was it better for him to be given everything on a plate while his soulmate worked so hard to prove to idiots, who couldn’t see her worth? His soulmate wanted to become a great kunoichi, wanted to become Hokage because she thought if she was strong, then people would notice her. He stared at the ashes of his disintegrated dummy. Grandfather told him that he was strong, that he was going to be the strongest, but he never said why he had to be the strongest.

To be fair, he never asked because it didn’t seem like something he should ask.

“Grandfather,” his grandfather looked away from the ashes and stared at him with those eyes. Hunger. Pride. It had never bothered him before but the way he stared at him, made his stomach crumbled. “What is the point of me being the strongest?” The question echoed in the silent training room; it startled the birds in the background. Their yaps were the only sound that could be heard alongside the rattle of the trees.

Quickly, the hunger and pride in his grandfather’s muddy brown eyes were replaced with a coolness that he always associated with him. “It means you’ll be untouchable,” his grandfather’s words were soft and silky, luring him to be mesmerised by his voice. He spoke like a magician, weaving a vision of the world he had always imagined. “When you reached your full potential, Satoru, all the other clans will once again hold us in high esteem.” He took a step closer to him and placed a wrinkly hand on his shoulder, squeezing it slightly. “We’ve lost favour with the other clans because we hadn’t had a member born with both Limitless and Six Eyes, with you—we stand a chance to have them worship us again just like they did in the centuries before.” He combed his hair and levelled his eyes on him; the desire clear in his eyes. “You’re meant to be the pillar of our society and without you, curses will run amok and kill non-sorcerers.”

But I’m only 9. He knew better than to point out the immense pressure to his grandfather. The old man would scoff at him and tell him of how fortunate he was to be alive. Children, born with both Limitless and Six Eyes, rarely reached 9 and would be even rarer for him to become an adult. Grandfather had mentioned it whenever he complained about the training. To die? Or to live? He would pose this question as he gripped his chin, barking at him for acting like a child.

Satoru swallowed and stared at the broken wall, to the oak tree and the pond. In his dreams, Naruto and him had played Digimon while she told him of her dreams. To become Hokage was her hope of being respected. She wanted to make a change. I’m going to make sure boys have to learn the boring kunoichi lessons as well! Why should we be the only one suffering from flower arrangement? He wanted to ask her why she cared for such things but he didn’t want to ruin the fun of playing with her. He never played with other kids.

Grandfather had never allowed it even if he wanted to do it. He always listened because Grandfather knew better. He cared for him. Yet his words about restoring the respect to their clan made his palm sweat. It made him wonder if Grandfather cared for him or for the power that he possessed. He wanted to throw it out there. The words were right there, itching to be uttered. Yet his body shook at the thought of asking him. Instead, he asked the safer question in his mind: the stubborn and alive question.

“What if I don’t want to just use my strength for the clan?” If Naruto had such big dreams, then there had to be other girls with the same ridiculous dreams. Dreams that made him want to scratch his head and yet made him want to see it come to fruition. What was the point of becoming a pillar if he couldn’t just use that strength? Why should only his clan benefit from it?  He straightened his spine. “What if I want to use my strength to change society?”

His grandfather remained silent for a moment, his eyes became sharper and devoid of any lingering warmth. His lips pressed into a thin line—annoyance? Disappointment? As quickly as it was there, it was gone. Almost a figment of his imagination. “In what way, Satoru?” His voice became softer, alluring him to spill all of his inner-most thoughts. Grandmother, when she had been alive, always mentioned how Grandfather had a charm to him. A charm that made people want to spill their deepest desires—right before he twisted into his own gain

Satoru remained quiet as a mouse. Hesitation gripped him by the throat as his eyes darted to the cold breeze coming through the large hole of their broken training room. Until today, he had never been shaken by Grandfather. Father always trembled with Grandfather, always reverting like a meek child under his presence. Always docile to his wishes. The one time he talked against Grandfather, his face had been bruised and his eyes had became like a doll. He didn’t understand until now. Now this whole room held its breath, the air even had a tremor to it; a warning to choose his words carefully.

“I…I want the girls to be able to hold positions of power,” he said, straightening his spine and gulping down the fear in his throat. His grandfather closed his eyes and smiled. A shudder ran down his spine; Grandfather never smiled. Mother smiled. Father had the occasional smile. But Grandfather? He was a man void of emotion, the perfect Jujutsu Sorcerer. “The girls from clans, they should be able to do what they want, Grandfather.”

His grandfather didn’t react with fury like he expected. Instead, his grandfather stretched his smile even more. Unnatural. It was a smile of nightmares—wide, unnatural, like the painted grin of a murderous clown. He made a mistake. He miscalculated. Just because his grandfather smiled, did not mean it was an encouragement. His grandfather began to walk around, dragging his cane as his eyes studied him.

“You wish to change the system?” The words rolled off his grandfather like a spell, Satoru’s body relaxed. The old man stood before him, a large shadow cloaking him. The Head of the Gojo Clan clicked his tongue. “You speak as though you are not already at the top of the very system. You’re the system, Satoru.”

I don’t want to end up like Father; Mother won’t be quiet about this if she sees I talked back to Grandfather. He stared at his smiling grandfather with a heart void of emotion and a straightened spine. Mother could be emotional at times, especially when it came to him. If Grandfather went further and slapped him, his sweet mother would bring it up to Father. He couldn’t do anything now. Until Grandfather passed or until he became stronger, Grandfather yielded all the power. If he went against him, Grandfather would threaten his enrolment for Jujutsu High.

It would not be the first time he had done it. Whenever he misbehaved, Grandfather would casually mention that Jujutsu High was not a necessary for his training. You can be trained in our clan, Satoru. Perhaps, you aren’t ready for the real world but if you apologise, I may reconsider it. Those were always his words, and he always did what Grandfather asked. This house was his cage, he could not go anywhere without Grandfather’s permission.

Like a bird, he wanted to be free.

“I understand, Grandfather.”

Chapter Text

 (Four years later)

In most of Naruto’s dreams, she would always dream of sitting inside her apartment with Satoru across the table. Satoru, she had come to learn was the name of the imaginary boy in her mind. He was a pain in the ass, but he was her pain in the ass. He always appeared in the weirdest of times but today, she was almost grateful to see him lounging in her apartment. In his hands were one of the comics she loved to read, the one that he found great joy too because in his eyes, the main character could say shit all the time and get away with it. That was probably one of the few things they bonded over because she loved the main character for the same reason.

“So you ready to bomb your genin exams, Naruto?” The boy asked the question without looking away from her latest comic issue. She grimaced at the mention of her stupid exams, like always Satoru seemed to notice. His lips curved into that annoying, cheeky smile as the sunlight glared down at him. “Don’t tell me you’re still nervous about your final exam! You managed to pass the boring part, ‘cause I helped, and you told me you wiped the floor with that bitch…what was her name again? Ah, the whiny brat.” He gave her that shit-eating grin at the mention of her new nickname for Ami. “Did she go running to Mummy because you wiped the floor with her?”

“She probably tried running to Daddy but her Daddy is busy fooling around with his new girlfriend,” she shrugged. “I almost feel bad for telling Ino about Ami’s Dad and his side chick— it turns out he is a shitty Dad. It makes me kinda glad that I don’t know who my Dad is ‘cause I can pretend my Dad could’ve been a good Dad to me if he lived. She has to see her Dad not spend any time with her.”

Satoru snorted. “Please you don’t feel one bit bad for what you did to her.” His tone was knowing as he pointed to his lips. “You’re crap when it comes to lying about your personal feelings…unlike me.”  He hummed. “Besides you shouldn’t feel bad about destroying her parents’ marriage,” she winced and Satoru looked back at her comic. “You said it yourself; she never feels bad for bullying you or your best friend so it’s a taste of her own medicine.”

The winds laughed with his words while Naruto smiled. Even though he was just a figment of her imagination, he always said things that were the complete opposite of how Hinata would react. Till this day, her best friend didn’t know that it had been her who spread the truth about Ami’s family life. Hinata was such a good person, she would have been horrified by her behaviour. She would have gone pale and maybe it would ruin whatever perception her best friend had of her. She didn’t want her to think the worst of her.

She didn’t want their friendship to end up being like Sakura and Ino’s friendship. Those two had gone from being the best of friends to being the most annoying rivals that she had ever seen.  She didn’t even understand what broke their friendship. Rumours say it was because Ino had feelings for Sasuke and Sakura found out about it. But she really didn’t want to believe they would break their friendship over some jerk. It just seemed so stupid in her mind. If a friendship was strong, a boy shouldn’t be able to get between them.

Especially for a guy who was as straight as wood. The girls fluttered their eyelashes at him? No response. Honestly, she would’ve given up on him if she was them. Except she wasn’t delusional like them. Even her own fake crush was chosen with rational, Shikamaru at least reacted whenever she smiled at him. Of course, he would grumble but he craved into her plots of revenge against the bullies. When she became Hokage, he would be her advisor.

“You know you’re a bad influence on me,” she admitted, staring straight at the Hokage Monument. Somehow in her dreams, the Hokage Monument seemed so much closer like she could climb out of the window and just be there. Satoru smiled, too pleased by her words, and she felt the temptation to throw a book at that smug smile. “Don’t smile! That’s not a compliment, jerk!”

He leaned against the chair, the floor giggled just a little bit. “C’mon you know I’m a good influence on you!” He wasn’t wrong but that would just fill his huge ego, so the best thing she did was to fold her arms at him. He stretched his smile just a little bit more, leaning his body forward as his blue eyes twinkled with mischief. “Ever since you met me, you’ve been passing your exams with flying colours because—”

“—You helped me but it doesn’t mean you’re the reason! I put the effort!” she declared heatedly. “And you can’t exactly help me with the exam I have tomorrow because it isn’t like you know how to do the stupid clone jutsu—” the air became colder and harsher while Satoru finally put down the book— “if I don’t scape a pass for that jutsu then what’s the point of passing the others? You need to pass all three portions to become a genin. You can’t fail one portion and do well in the others.”

It was only with this jerk; she could utter her fears outloud. He wasn’t her classmate, and he wasn’t Hinata, who always seemed to be a little bit surprised whenever she vocalised her doubts. Satoru did what he always did whenever she grumbled about her doubts, he just stared at her like she was being silly. Like her words were as silly as the over-the-top confessions of her classmates, like the bounciness of her floors.

“You’re going to pass, Naruto,” his tone held no room for argument as his intense blue eyes levelled with her. They cut through her doubts with its unwavering confidence. “If you don’t pass, then what the hell have you been doing instead of studying! Cuz you’re awesome when you put your mind into it even if your logic is just weird.” She scowled and gave him the bird but he waved her off. “Oi, I get your weird explanations ‘cuz I’m smart but anyone, who lacks creativity, will just think you’re an idiot.”

She smiled sweetly at the boy. “Wanna say that again, smartass? Because you remembered what happens whenever you give me a backhanded compliment right?” His face paled and he quickly scrambled an apology, no doubt remembering the infamous nosebleed from four years ago. Naruto nodded. “Not so funny now, is it? Seriously, you won’t make any friends if you say shit like that! One minute you make me think you can be decent and then you say shit like this that makes me wanna whack you.”

He laughed and placed his feet on her desk. He laughed, it sounded sincere, but she knew him well enough to know the laugh was a little bit higher than usual. “Who needs friends when I’ve an amazing personality?” Satoru stretched his smile, his eyes smug as he pointed out the most obvious fact. “After all, you’re still here despite the crap I say to you.” His eyes stopped being smug as the winds stopped whistling. Just a pure hot silence between them, it pressed against her gut.

Not many words came to her mind until she stared at the rare photo of her and Hinata. The rare sincere smile that never really played on her lips. “That’s because I’m used to you and because out of all the jerks I know, you aren’t the worst,” she admitted with a faint smile. “Compared to four years ago, you are moving up in the jerk scale going from an 8 to a 6.” He blinked like he hadn’t expected for her to make a scale. With how many jerks she knew, it seemed inevitable.

“C’mon, don’t I deserve to be lower?”

“When you made the backhand compliment, you went from a good 4 to an annoying 6.” She met his eyes and snorted at the calculating gleam in his eyes. Satoru, she knew, could be predictable at times. Just like her, he could be competitive and would do whatever it took to be the best. She respected him for that. Not many boys were like him, her classmates had no ambitions. “And don’t even think of trying to act nice, I know your skit by now.”

His lips curved into a wider smile. “What if I say compliments and do nice things for you without you knowing?”

“Impossible because we’re in a dream and two, I’ll know you’re up to something because when you’re too nice…I know you’re going to do something to mess it up.” She could not remember a time in their dreams when Satoru had said something nice, only to do or say something that only a jerk could say. Naruto ignored the fake pout from Satoru, he never cared for this kind of things, and listened to the sweet whispers of the wind.  

The wind seemed to be in agreement with Satoru about her capabilities, the winds chimed after all like bells; a signal for her to accept Satoru’s words. That only made her suck a deep breath, tasting the sweetness in the air. “Y’know Satoru, you always say that I’m going to pass even when I have doubts about myself,” she directed the topic back at hand while the white-haired boy inspected her with blank eyes. “I just don’t get how you can be this confident in my abilities when you have never seen me in action.”

The question lingered for a moment as Satoru clasped his hands behind his neck. He just stared at the ceiling. “If this was one of those girly comics, I would say that I don’t need to see you in action to know you’re amazing,” she made a face and Satoru laughed. “I ain’t saying that, Naruto! C’mon, I know you think it’s cheesy like me but…” he trailed off, eyebrows knitted together. “But I’m confident in your capabilities because you don’t dream big unless you don’t have the drive to get there. You punch me because I insulted you, you think I’m going to believe you ain’t going to get there. I’m not an idiot.”

Most girls would have been hurt by his lack of cliché lines, but Naruto found herself smiling at his goofiness. That weight on her shoulders became just a little bit lighter. This jerk only believed in her because of the scale of her dreams. Because of her own personality. The knowledge brought a lump in her throat but she refused to cry at his sincere words. He would never let her down for crying, he would just tease her even more just so she would stop crying. He had done it once when her scores had steadily improved, when she cried tears for his encouragement.

Satoru wasn’t emotional, he hid his emotions well with a smile.

“You sure you ain’t an idiot because insulting a girl who punched you kinda makes you an idiot,” she retorted, swallowing the lump in her throat. He didn’t look impress by her words, just faintly pleased by her insults. Whenever he made such weird expressions, she had to wonder how she met such a strange boy. And he was strange. With how the sunlight stroke his hair and skin, the boy looked like a Kodama—a forest spirit that had no place in her dreams.

He smiled, it shone even brighter in the sun, unmistakable and so incredibly genuine. “Doesn’t that make me your idiot then?”

Yes, he was her idiot. Whether she cared to admit it or not, Satoru was her friend. Her smart idiot. The one person, beside Hinata, who she called as hers. Someone not tainted by the stupid views of the villagers. He was one of her best friends, one of the few people who believed in her and that made him important in her life. She just wished he wasn’t so cocky about it. It made her feel weird about how easily he fitted into her life once he stopped being a jerk every five minutes.

Friendships shouldn’t be this easy, but it was easy around him.

“You’re never going to get me to say it, Satoru.” Despite the grumble in her words, she couldn’t stop herself from grinning at him. She stared once more at the monument, to where the Fourth Hokage’s face stood. Whenever she wanted to gain the confidence to pretend not to care for this jerk, she would stare at him. In the Hokage’s office, the Fourth Hokage seemed like a cool man. Cool and collected but not a jerk like Sasuke. In his photo, there was a subtle warmth in them. It was a small flame but one that made her toes curled.

She wondered if he had ever faced doubts like her or if he had been like Sasuke and Satoru, completely confident in his abilities. He probably was. The Fourth Hokage had been a genius, unlike her. To reach his level, she would need to work even harder, pushing her muscles to the limits and read more boring books. She breathed in the sweet scent while her friend followed her line of gaze, his eyes always had that strange, thoughtful look.

“You talk big about being Hokage, about how you want to change things, but if you keep thinking about how you’ll mess up, you’ll trip over your own feet before you even start,” Satoru said, turning his head to the side, his head now plopped on one hand. He stared at her with amusement in his eyes; it brought a scowl on her lips. “And it would be pretty damn embarrassing if that happens.” The vein on her forehead expanded but he shrugged. “But I also know you and I know you won’t quit. That word doesn’t exist in your thick head.” His grin softened—just a tiny bit. “That’s one of the things I respect about you.”

She remained silent for a moment. No words came to mind. In the four years, they came to become friends, this was probably the first time he vocalised such thoughts. It was never something to be said out loud.  An unspoken knowledge between them. She admired him for his capability of maintaining his confidence while he admired her for her ability to not give up. It was always there in their words. An understanding, one might say.

“Fine, I’ll stop doubting myself if it means you’ll shut up about it.”

He grinned. “Good! Now what game do you wanna play?”

Failure. For the first time in four years, Naruto found herself sitting on the lone swing outside of the Academy, contemplating about her failure. In this portion of the genin exams, she had been the only one to fail. Today, of all, had to be the day when her clones chose to frizzle instead of being their steady selves. She tightened her grip on the rope, nails digging right into the knots. The clone hadn’t even been her. Just a sickly version of her. It had been her worst attempt on doing the jutsu. Her throat tightened, her eyes began to tear up as her eyes focused on the sunlight reflected on the Hitai-ate on one of her classmate’s forehead.

It wasn’t just the fact she failed the test that sucked, it was the fact she couldn’t graduate with Hinata. There wasn’t a day when they hadn’t been separated from each other, thick as thieves as Iruka-sensei would say whenever he took out for ramen. Oh. He was probably disappointed in her as well. Ever since she improved her scores, he had been kinder to her. Friendlier. More understanding in ways she didn’t think she deserved. He praised her, took her out for meals, ruffling her hair like a Dad would do for his child. He lectured her whenever he figured out her plots for revenge. His face had fallen when he saw her failure. It felt like he took it personally as well.

She forced herself to smile when she saw Hinata approaching her. Her best friend stared at her, a clear grief in her face at the sight of her naked forehead.  A difference from the Hitai-ate tied around her best friend’s waist. It dangled, almost mocking her. She hated how she couldn’t be truly happy for her best friend. How her hands itched to snatch it away and ask her if she was reminding her of her failures. It was a stupid sensation, to stare at one’s best friend and hate her for succeeding at where she failed. That Sakura, who was average in all aspects, could pass with her head in the clouds.

“Naruto-chan…” Hinata began her words with a gentleness that could only be associated with her, only to trail off as if she was also unaware of what to say to her. She glanced down at her Hitai-ate, eyes pained before untying it. Aware of the pain it brought her. Naruto swallowed the tight lump and grabbed the girl’s hand, halting her. With a steady breath, she tied her friend’s Hitai-ate back. Her best friend trembled, her own eyes tearing up and Naruto found herself blinking back her own tears.

Today was supposed to be a happy day for her best friend, she was not going to ruin it.

“I’m fine, Hinata-chan,” she ignored the growing ache in her heart when a parent ruffled their son’s hair. Naruto exhaled and stretched her smile just a little bit more, adding a bit more cheer to her words. “It’s just one stupid test. I’m not going to let it define me…maybe I’m not ready.” It was a lie and they both knew it. Other than Hinata and Ino, she was probably one of the girls who was the most prepared to be a kunoichi.

Her best friend knelt down till they were at eye level. For a moment, her best friend had a flash of determination but then it faded, replaced with a softer expression. “You’re going to pass next time, Naruto-chan.” Her voice carried a cheer and for the first time in weeks, the stammer had faded replaced with cool confidence. “You never give up. That’s what makes you, Naruto.” Those words acted like a balm to the ache in her heart, a reminder of who she was.

She was Uzumaki Naruto and giving up was not in her dictionary. “Thanks, Hinata.”

Those words almost reminded her of Satoru in her dream. He knew she didn’t quit as well and if that idiot saw her reaction, he wasn’t going to be quiet about it. No, she could see his lips curving into a smile as his pretty eyes darkened with annoyance. Crying over one stupid test? Who’s the idiot now? It doesn’t define you! I bet next time you’ll pass and rub it in all of their faces how stupid it is. That was what he would say to her if he was real. She closed her eyes and breathed in the cold air.

“Do you want—”

“—I think you should be celebrating with your Dad and sister. You earned it,” she said quietly, eyes drifting to the brown-haired girl standing in the far corner of her sight. Hanabi stared back at her, silent and blank-faced, while Hinata’s father had a blank expression as well. It was better than the cold expression that came in the beginning of their friendship, maybe one day she would get that rigid man to warm up to her.

Hinata, staring back at her father and sister with unreadable eyes, then looked at her. “Naruto-chan, I’ll celebrate it when you pass,” Naruto blinked and her best friend smiled, her hand wiping the tear from her own eyes. “We’re a team, aren’t we? What’s a celebration worth if you aren’t beside me? We celebrate everything together since the day we became the best friends.”  Her best friend straightened her spine. “You believed in me when even my own family thought I was worthless.”

Laughter broke through their silence, cheerful and carefree, while Naruto found the right words to say. This was going to the realm of sappiness, and she didn’t like sappy. It had never worked out for her in the long run. “Thank you Hinata but,” she struggled to find the right words before setting with, “but I need some time alone to think about it. Y’know get my head back in the game, go ahead and celebrate with your Dad and sister. We can celebrate next year when I pass.”

Would she pass next year? Who knows but she didn’t want to dwell on it. Hinata accepted her words with a resigned sigh before turning around to walk back to her family, looking over her shoulder with concern eyes. If her friend was worried she was going to bawl her eyes out, then she had nothing to worry about. The sun rose every day, the stars always twinkled and there was oxygen in her lungs. As long as she was alive, there was going to be another chance to do better.

Watching her friend leave with her family brought a sense of peace to her heart. A calmness that loosened the knot in her chest. Was it Hinata’s presence that brought it? Or the thought of Satoru’s words? But she was going to make it. Tonight, she would go back home, punch her training dummy and tomorrow she would think of a way to improve. Exhaling, she slapped her cheeks and then blinked when she saw a shadow looming over her. Turning her head, she blinked at the sight of Mizuki standing beside her.

With the sun taking its final leg for the day, Mizuki looked almost angelic. Like a fallen angel ready to swoop her out of her despair, his face had shadows of grief. His hand squeezed her shoulder, soft and gentle, but it brought a chill down her spine. He was nice to her, always encouraging her like Iruka-sensei but his eyes had always been cold. It never faded like Iruka-sensei’s eyes. When the other children mocked her, he had been silent. Not encouraging but not furious like Iruka-sensei when he heard of the insult to her dead parents. Never mock the dead was what Iruka-sensei had said when Ami gathered the courage to insult her dead mother.

It had been the first time Ami gotten detention.

“It’s tough failing a test especially when you know there are kids less deserving of the chance,” Mizuki-sensei began. His words were luring, hypnotic like a snake, as his eyes showed hints of understanding. She swallowed as the man looked at the smiling parents and the cheering kids waving the Hitai-ate without a care in the world. “You work so hard, steadily improving yourself only for kids who don’t take it as seriously as you to pass.” He closed his eyes. “We all had high hopes for you to pass, Naruto. Iruka thought that this would be the year for you.”

She swallowed. It felt like it too. For the first time since she started the Academy, her scores had been higher than Ino and Sakura. Teachers had begun praising her for her talent. Her kunoichi instructor didn’t snide at her whenever she did a flower arrangement or made a dish. The other students had became less rude to her when her test scores continued to pick up, it truly did feel like she was now another flower in a garden filled of beautiful flowers. But she was a weed now.

No matter how hard she tried, she was never going to really belong.

“I really thought I had a hold of the Bunshin jutsu,” she admitted with a quiet voice. “I practiced it every day, doing the chakra control exercises that Hinata-chan told me to do.” Her hand tightened around the rope once more, ready to tug at it as the teacher patted her back. His bangs hid his eyes but his lips had turned into that sorrowful, bitter smile. “She spent every single day helping me try to find the right balance for me to do the jutsu, except it’s hard to keep it together.”

Mizuki nodded and stared at the Third Hokage, who had his eyes fixated on them. The old man had an unreadable expression as his eyes drifted to Iruka-sensei, the gut-wrenched expression on his face made her stomach crumbled even more. “The system is unfair to those who work hard,” his words were quiet as his hand squeezed her shoulder once more. “All that time, all that effort—wasted, while kids who never struggled the way you did get to walk away with a Hitai-ate they don’t even appreciate.” She tugged on the rope at that reminder as he glanced at her, a soft encourage smile on his lips. “But there is a way to make up for your failure, Naruto.”

Four years ago, she would have perked up and demanded to know more about the other way. Too eager for the short cut, too eager to catch up with Hinata and the others, but now her bone were chilled. She could almost picture Satoru here, his lips curved into a mischievous smile as his intense blue eyes looked at her. Oh? Now you’re going to trust an adult? You said he ignored you when those girls were being mean—never said a word in your defense—and now he wants to help you? Don’t you think that’s a little fishy? He would say that with such a teasing tone but there would be an edge to it. He would challenge her and remind her of the one key thing about her:

‘And let’s be real, I know you. You’d never take the easy way out. Too much damn pride in that thick skull of yours.’

Those would be his words and that made her swallow the lump. If it was too good to be true, it had to be a trap, and if it was a trap then she could turn it around. She could bargain with the Third Hokage, suggest ways to catch this man out, and in return she could become a kunoichi. Her fingers loosened around the knot. It would be a much more sweeter way of becoming a kunoichi than just doing some stupid test.

“What is the other way?”

She was going to become a kunoichi but it would be in her terms.

Chapter Text

There was a drop in the temperature in the Hokage’s room. Naruto scrunched her shirt, wrinkling it for a moment as the Hokage studied her with those blank eyes. He hadn’t uttered a single word since she spilled Mizuki’s plans, just listening to her with no comments. Nothing. She expected him to interrupt her, but he hadn’t uttered a word to her. He only smoked his pipe, tilting his hat down as the world around them became quiet. There was only a limited time before Mizuki expected her back with the Forbidden Scroll.

The silence finally broke when the Hokage said, “This is a huge accusation, Naruto.” His tone lacked any indication of his feelings to her accusation. It was cold calmness, not a silver of emotion in them. This was the Hokage’s mask. Not the old man, who was kind to her, but the leader of her village. She exhaled. You think I’m stupid enough to make this kind of accusation? The harsh words were on the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it down with a grimace.

Naruto looked up and stared at the photo of the Fourth Hokage. His eyes were stern as ever just like the Hokage before her. All Hokages, she decided, must not have a funny bone when working. It was the one thing she wasn’t looking forward to when she became Hokage. Humor was the best way to cope with all the crap in her life. A way to deal with her own stress. Though her classmates thought being childish was a waste of time but as Satoru would say, who cared what they think? It was her life.

“Old Man, do you really think I would lie about something as big as this?” The Hokage stared at her with knowing eyes. He must have remembered the various rumours she spread of her enemies. Somehow, the old man always knew when to link certain pranks back to her, even when she destroyed all evidence. She scowled. “I wouldn’t make such a big lie like this; Mizuki is an asshole but I wouldn’t want him to die. He does have a girlfriend, though she could do better than him.”

The Hokage leaned back in his chair, a quiet creak in the silent air. “I have known you since you were four, Naruto,” he exhaled and blew a ring of black smoke in the air. “And I know you aren’t a malicious child, despite what your recent actions in the past few years have demonstrated.” Her cheeks heated and the old man let out a quiet laugh. “I’m aware Naruto of why you’ve been causing issues for some people in the village and as long as you continue to be discreet, we can look the other way.”

She smiled, closing her eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Old Man. You’ve no evidence to make these accusations.”

Sarutobi tilted his hat down but she didn’t miss the quiet laugh coming out of his mouth. It was increasingly clear to her that nothing really escaped his notice. If he could pinpoint her rumours, how could he miss a possible traitor? Why remain silent? This was not the way the Hokage behaved.  One word from him and the whole thing could have been destroyed. Evidence, she decided, should be easy for him to get. When you’re on the top of the food chain, you can do anything or so Grandfather says, was what Satoru had told her once.

In the past, Satoru would be pleased about his grandfather but ever since they became friends, he had been acting more and more distant whenever the topic of his grandfather came. He doesn’t really love me was what Satoru would say with a scowl and eyes filled with unveiled annoyance. She knew better than to push him. With her friend, one needed to wait for him to spill his thoughts out. Though if he didn’t open any time soon, she was going to drag the truth out from his sealed lips.

“Just as I’ve no evidence of your antics, I need a more solid proof of your accusation,” the old man lowered the pipe and clasped his wrinkly hands together. His dark eyes studied her for a moment, almost mentor-like in a manner, before fading away. “You wish to become Hokage, don’t you Naruto?” She nodded and he exhaled. “Then you need to be aware that even the Hokage cannot act without a strategy, I can arrest Mizuki right now with the words that you have. I can even order for his murder but what happens if someone decides to speak about his execution?”

Disorder. That was the first thought to come to her mind. When she destroyed Ami’s parents marriage, the first thing that came out were words of denial from everyone. So she had to go a little bit further, took photos of the outings between husband and mistress, spreading it throughout the village when everyone had been asleep. That led to screaming matches on the street. Crying too, if she heard the hush whispers of the bored housewives in the village. Then the sweet destruction of that marriage. It was a beautiful chaos but in a larger scale? It could lead to…

“People might revolt, and you can’t kill people because we still need shinobi to keep this village afloat,” she whispered. The old man nodded, a tiny hint of a pleased smile, and she tilted her head. Her plan had always been to capture Mizuki and just handed him straight to the Hokage after getting his approval, but would it be enough to get rid of the snake? It would still be her word against his. There would be a need for people to inspect his apartment to find evidence, to solidify his betrayal. “So you need to get harder evidence of his traitorous behaviour?”

The old man nodded. “Now you’re thinking like a Hokage, Naruto.”

Naruto smiled, pleased with the approval, and looked out at the setting sun. In a matter of hours, Mizuki-sensei would go out of his apartment and meet her in the forest with the belief she had the Forbidden Scroll. There was very little chance the old man would give her, the ANBU guards might question it or worse the ordinary shinobi guards. They were neutral to her in front of the Hokage but if she snuck in, even with the permission of the Hokage, they would go running straight to the old man. Even with his approval, they would obey but not without hesitation or being slow about things because of political pressure.

“I can trick him long enough for some of the ANBU guards to get proof of his traitorous actions,” she declared, steadying her eyes with him. This was a good opportunity to prove her capability, the chance she had been calculating when she came to him with these accusations. The old man tilted his hat down, a large shadow covered his eyes. “He thinks I’m desperate enough to do this instead of going straight to you.” Her voice became soft. “He thinks I’m willing to do anything to have the same milestone as Hinata.”

“And are you willing to do anything, Naruto?”

A person would do anything to gain power, to be with their best friend, and before Satoru, she would say yes. She would do anything to become a kunoichi. To do anything to be with her best friend. Even now, her stomach crashed at the thought of not being a kunoichi with Hinata. Her heart still cried for the loss. Her throat still had that stupid lump. You’d never take the easy way out. Satoru might not be real, might be some boy who appeared in her dreams, but he reminded her of what made her different from other people.

If Hinata was in her shoes, her best friend would never consider the idea of doing this. She always did the right thing, unlike her. It was what made her so good and pure, nothing like her. Her friend had been sheltered, in a sense, while she grew up in the streets. In some ways, she wished she was more like her best friend.

“A couple of years ago? Yeah,” she admitted with hands balled into a tight fist. In the background, one of the Inuzaka’s dogs howled; a reminder that her time was beginning to run out. If she judged the time by the clock, she only had another hour or two before the agreed meeting spot with Mizuki. “But I know my worth, Old Man.” The Hokage maintained a blank expression and she prattled on. “If I meet with him in the agreed location, give him a fake scroll and—”

“—And what if he has told the villagers of what you agreed to do?” The Hokage interrupted. She blinked as the old man tilted his hat up, lips pressed into a grim line. “Naruto, are you aware of what a traitor could do to make sure that they could get away with their crime?” Silence and the old man sighed. “He’ll spread word that you were the one who stole the scroll, make it seem like you had the thought all along, and what happens?”

Her heart stilled.

“A manhunt.” That single word brought a chill down her spine. This whole time, she assumed she had the upper hand, that she could manipulate the whole scenario without thinking of possible outcomes. Life really had a way of proving her wrong. Damn it. If Mizuki spread lies about her, then the moment she stepped out of the Hokage Tower, there would be so many people after her. Chunin. Jounin. Even the damn ANBU. Most of them wouldn’t hesitate to take her down, they looked at her with such cold eyes. Spoke badly about her under their breath. This would be the perfect chance for them to be rid of her.

The Hokage turned the chair around, he stared directly at the Fourth Hokage. He did that a lot when she thought about it, like he expected his successor to have all the answers. “Yes and tell me, Naruto…who do you think they’ll believe? A respected chunin or an orphan, who failed to pass the genin exams?” His tone lacked any emotion, there was only cold logic in his words. They both knew where her disadvantage laid: her reputation and lack of rank.

“If they won’t believe me, how do we make sure that I won’t look like some idiot who just randomly decided to steal some forbidden scroll?”  She wanted to point out the obvious fact that she wouldn’t even know about the Forbidden Scroll if Mizuki hadn’t leaked it to her, but it wouldn’t prove her point. People had acknowledged her growing skills but it didn’t mean people thought she was good. Her blood boiled just a little bit at the thought.

From behind the doors, she heard the whispers of the shinobi. Why is he wasting his time with her? Their words were barely loud but her ears could pick out everything. Did they think she come here for no reason? It wasn’t like the time when she was 8 or 9, when she barged into this room without much consideration. But until she jumped through the ranks, these people would always look down on her. They would always assume the worst. She shouldn’t care but damn it, she cared a lot.

“We do what shinobi do best, Naruto,” The Hokage said, spurning the chair around to meet her own eyes. His eyes held no warmth despite the smile. It wasn’t dripped with coldness; it wasn’t warm either. It was a smile that hinted of cunningness, a smile that brought sweat to her palms. “We turn the truth into our strongest weapon.”

Naruto swallowed; her eyes met the steady gaze of the old man. The words pressed against her spine like a kunai, just ready to nick her where it hurt. We turn the truth into our strongest weapon. What truth? She wasn’t that desperate anymore. Yes, she wanted to be with Hinata. Yes, she would have done anything to become a genin with her best friend but that was before Satoru. Before he told her that she shouldn’t let one failure define her. When he reminded her that her habit of not giving up was perhaps one of the few good things about her.

“What truth? I have proven over the years that I’m not actually dumb,” she scoffed, folding her arms against her chest. “And anyone who knows me will know damn well that I wouldn’t make things obvious. I didn’t study boring subjects and using my head to get ahead for me to build a reputation like that.” The photos rattled with her raised voice, almost echoing in agreement with her. “It’s insane! I’ll be putting a target on my back!”

Birds began to sing their evening song, a haunting melody as those eyes fixated on her. “When Mizuki involved you in his plans, he placed a large target on your back,” his voice was soft, but it might have been as loud as an alarm. “Even though you did the right thing, Mizuki can and will try to flip the narrative around back to you. It won’t matter to the villagers, you’re a child. What matters to them is that you tried to betray the village.”

He was right. Children being taught the shinobi art was treated differently from the children, who chose to remain civilians. They were expected to be more serious. Less child-like as one of the mothers had whispered whenever she laughed with Hinata. How can she taint the Hyuga heiress with her childness? Shinobis shouldn’t behave like this. It echoed in her ears whenever they played in the park. If she stepped out of this very tower and if Mizuki was smart, he would have began his own lies. In that case, the shinobis, who hated her, would be hunting her down.

Hiruzen began to tap his finger against the table, a slow beat. “We can’t change their perception, Naruto but we can use their behaviour towards you to our advantage.” He spoke slowly, as if trying to make her catch up with his line of thought. She was smart but not that smart. This kind of thinking was still something new for her. If it wasn’t for the Hokage, she probably wouldn't be thinking this far ahead.

Silence stretched on for just a little bit longer until she finally slumped her shoulders. “How?”

The old man cradled his head over his hand, eyes completely devoted to her. “By making Mizuki overplay his hand.”

Overplay his hand? Naruto furrowed her eyebrows together; this was becoming more complicated than she thought. How was she going to make him overplay his hand? He couldn’t expect her to steal the forbidden scroll, did he? Because before the old man started this line of thought, she had thought about suggesting it before dismissing the idea. It would’ve been too obvious as well as too risky for the old man to take.

“Y’know I’ll need more than that,” she declared. “I’m not some kind of mind reader, Old Man.”

He sighed. “Mizuki is expecting you to be so desperate and foolish enough to steal the Forbidden Scroll,” he paused, picking up his pipe once more and slid it back into his mouth. The hat tilted down, and the old man made his voice quieter. “He expects you to be easy to manipulate because of your desire to be with your best friend. What happens if we give him what he expects?”

Naruto considered it. The implication was of her stealing the Forbidden Scroll, just as she had originally planned to suggest to him, but wouldn’t it be a big risk? She was strong, her punches had broken trees and shattered grounds, but would that be enough for her to take down a chunin? In her mind’s eye, she could see several ways of how it could turn out. In all of them, Mizuki would try to silence her and act like some hero. She imagined him carrying a kunai and trying to stab her.

“Wouldn’t it be risky for me to have the real scroll?”

The old man lit up his pipe once more. “Not the real scroll. A fake one, Naruto.”

So this would be the trap. She glanced at the photo of the Fourth Hokage and wondered if he had been in a similar situation as her. Probably not. He had been a civilian raised by normal parents. A genius. Beloved by the whole village. Nothing like her. She wondered whether he would make the same plan as the Third Hokage or if he would’ve been more ruthless than the old man. History books didn’t really capture a person, when she became Hokage, she would have the whole village remember how much they doubted her big dreams. Swallowing the lump, she said. “So this will be a trap.”

“Precisely,” the old man relaxed his shoulders and leaned further back against the squeaky chair. “Let Mizuki believe he won, Naruto. You’ll meet him as planned, hand over a fake scroll, and—”

“—And let him dig his own grave,” she finished with a grin.

The old man nodded. He pointed the pipe downwards, bits of ash sprinkled to the ground like fallen snow. Temperatures began to drop as the Third Hokage looked down at the wooden floor.  “Precisely,” his voice was grave as the lines on his forehead deepened, making him look older than his years. It reminded her again that the old man was perhaps too old for this job. She never really thought about it until whispers spread of his eldest son’s demise, of his grandson suddenly becoming an orphan.

When his son died, the Hokage had become sullener, colder and more withdrawn from society for a couple of months. Losing his son has made the Hokage forget his duty to us as one of the villagers had complained when the old man withdrew from his public service. She didn’t care much for it but the grandson? She had seen him around with that long scarf, eyes completely red and legs kicking anyone that tried to comfort him. Mummy and Daddy are gone were his shrill screams whenever someone comforted him.

She didn’t bother to interact with him, he would be poisoned against her like all the other kids.

“You know old man, he is going to expect me to know one jutsu from that scroll,” she observed. “Mizuki might try to test me to see if I actually know what is inside of it and if I only have the three basic jutsu from the Academy…he’s going to realise something is up.” She kept her tone light. It was better not to let him believe for one minute she wanted a jutsu, he would not give her a jutsu if she simply asked. Too obvious and it would reek of favouritism.

The old man nodded, he lowered his own voice. “I’m aware and this is why you’ll learn another jutsu. If you master this jutsu and succeed in this task, I’ll overturn the decision to fail you.” She blinked at his words. That had been her plan but she had been planning to suggest it, how could he say something so easily. Her expression must have shown it because he pulled his pipe apart to reveal the three chambers. “You failed one test Naruto, however your line of thought and your actions so far has proven to me that you are more than capable of being a genin. However, in order to solidify your rank, I’ll need you to succeed in this in order for no questions to be raised on whether or not you deserved it.”

The words became heavier against her chest, a shuriken to her chest. Sunlight began to fade as the old man stood up from his seat. Slow steps were taken towards a drawer, deliberate as if the old man was taking his time to think things through. She watched those wrinkly hands pull the rattling drawer out, various scrolls of different colours plopped out. The old man inspected each scroll carefully, shoulders hunched before he grabbed a red scroll case. “There is a technique I believe that might be suitable for you,” he turned around and tossed the scroll to her. Without thinking, she captured it and the old man nodded. “The shadow clone jutsu should be enough to fool Mizuki.”

Naruto cradled the hard scroll against her chest, her chest trembling. “A clone jutsu?” she licked her dried lips. “I’m not good with a normal jutsu, how can I master this one if I can’t master the basics?” It sounded stupid for her to say it. This was just proof that the Hokage believed in her. How can I become Hokage if I’m always thinking the worst about myself? She couldn’t help but ask herself this as she unravelled the scroll. It was her self-doubt which got her into this mess.

“This is different,” Hiruzen assured her. “Unlike the standard clone technique, Shadow Clones create fully corporeal copies of yourself. Mizuki would never expect you to know such an advanced technique. It will help in the deception—and give you a fighting chance should the situation turn violent.”

Her heart hardened and she nodded.

“I won’t let you down, Old Man.”

With the bright stars splattered across the sky, Naruto wondered if the night sky looked just as beautiful in Satoru’s home. He would be teasing her about this, saying that this was her proof of being awesome. He might not be real but in times like these, she wished that he was real. Her shirt was drenched with sweat, from the countless attempts of trying to do the Shadow Clone Jutsu. It stuck to her like a second skin, she was going to take a long, hot shower. She wiped the sweat off her forehead, flicked it against the grass. From the trees, she saw the ANBU guard shifting in his spot. Barely visible but the moonlight gave an edge of danger.

The winds whistled; its cool breeze kissed her cheeks. The sweet, gentle touch was enough to tempt her to sleep but Mizuki could come any moment for the fake scroll on her back. If she succeeded, she would become a genin by the end of the night. No one could deny her skill after this. Do something so amazing that no one can deny how great you are, would be what Satoru would tell her. This counted, she reasoned, because how many academy students could make the same claim as her?

When Hinata found out about this, she was going to smile and suggest that they celebrate together. She wanted ramen with Hinata. The warmth in the soup, the saltiness in the broth and the smiles of Teuchi and Ayame as she declared her victory. It would be okay for her not to eat icky vegetables, to eat the heavenly brownness of her pork slices, and to drink that broth without anyone judging her. Satoru couldn’t tease her for this, she earned it this time. Bastard taunted her on her height because she refused to eat vegetables and proper meat.

He ate too many sweets that she wondered how he didn’t turn into a sweet monster.

Failure was a possibility too but she couldn’t afford to fail in her task. Not because of the risk of losing her chance of becoming a genin, failure meant death. Mizuki could kill her before ANBU reacted, he might not easily fall for their trap. Her fingers grabbed the grass as her eyelids became heavier like weights pressed down on her. The Hokage was allowing her to have this chance. Not many Academy students would get this chance, she was one lucky bitch.

Behind the bushes, the grass let out a loud whimper. Coldness assaulted her spine. Her whole body stiffened for a moment before she forced her shoulders to relax. Mizuki had come and now it was time for her to play her part. Play the girl of four years ago, the girl who never met that annoying boy. Letting out several shallow breaths, she pushed herself up while the ANBU guard went further into the shadows.

Mizuki stepped out of the bushes with confidence in his step. The moon glared down at him, brought out a viciousness into his silver hair. In the sun, his hair resembled the moon but underneath the moon, his hair resembled blades. His dark eyes lacked the superficial warmth from the evening, replaced with a cold, calculating look. Her heart began to pick up, her hands itched to grab a kunai and throw it at him for what his actions could have caused her. If she hadn’t used her head, if she had been desperate, this could have gotten her killed.

And she knew now that his plan could have worked. On her way to the forest, she had melted into the shadows and listened to the furious whispers of the shinobi. I knew the Hokage was foolish for putting her in the Academy, look at what she had done! The whispers had been loud as various shinobis tried to look for her. Word had gotten out that she stolen a fake scroll just as the Hokage warned. If it wasn’t for the fact she knew the layout of the village like the back of her hand, she would have been captured before the plan could be carried out.

As the Hokage suspected, it was too late for him to contain the shinobi.

The chunin flickered his eyes at the scroll on her back. Surprise crept into his cold eyes, then suspicion, before it settled to the fake happiness she associated with fangirls. “You went through with it, Naruto,” he took a step closer to her as his eyes darted around the forest. The ANBU was in the tree above them, the thick leaves and a genjutsu should be enough to keep him hidden. “I didn’t think you would go through with it.”

Naruto closed her eyes and smiled, bouncing on her spot like an excited little girl. “Why wouldn’t I? You said if I wanted to become a genin, I just need to learn a jutsu from the Scroll of Seals,” she patted the fake scroll on her back and flung her hands out in the air. Her shoulder groaned from the stretch. “Isn’t that all I need to become a genin?”

His lips curved into a smile, but it lacked the warmth that Iruka-sensei had. “Smart girl,” he praised but it lacked sincerity. It always did. In the Academy, he had never once given her a sincere praise despite her efforts to stifle her need to speak loudly for the whole world to hear. His eyes focused on her face, at the distinct lack of bruises and scars on her. “How did you manage to get pass the guards, Naruto?”

She kept the smile stretched while her heart began to race. What would be the right answer? If she answered without much thought, he would know something was up. If she took too long to answer, he was going to realise it was the exact time needed to formulate a lie. A delicate balance was needed alongside the most believable lie. What did she know about the guards? They were men. Men liked beautiful women. Helpless ones. The shinobi men, majority of them, were known for visiting brothels. A way to let out steam as one man had whispered when she lurked in the shadows.

“The Sexy Jutsu doesn’t just works on Iruka-sensei,” she explained. Mizuki relaxed. It was a disgusting, vulgar jutsu as one of the girls had declared when she first created the jutsu. They had been red-faced, furious and threatening to beat her up for making such a technique. In her mind, it wasn’t disgusting. It was just a weapon to use against men. Men, who enjoyed women and had a weird habit of going to either brothels or reading erotic novels. Their minds always went haywire whenever they saw the older version of herself, the one that lacked clothes.

He smiled. “Not all men enjoy women, Naruto and not every one of them would fall for such tricks.” He never did was left unsaid,  but it was hinted from the pride in his eyes. How he never fell for her jutsu. It did not make him an upstanding man, it just meant she would need to figure out another technique to deal with men like him. His fingers drifted down to his kunai pouch. “The Hokage would have noticed if his best men had been left unconscious because of your…creative technique.”

Naruto kept calm. She already knew the best response since the old man was the inspiration behind the technique. “The Hokage is an old man too and even he can fall for the charms of a beautiful young woman,” she declared heatedly. “It was easy for me to knock him out once I used the jutsu on him. I think after this, he might make it a forbidden jutsu since it could actually kill a man.” Her tone was cheeky as she offered him a casual shrug.

His hand slipped away from the kunai. It was so ridiculous that it sounded true, no one could make such a silly lie. But she could. She knew the Third Hokage, knew when he completed work and his grandson was asleep, he would go to the brothels. She had witnessed it, once. She didn’t know exactly what type of lady would be willing to sleep with an old man, but he went there. Like many men did. Only the married clan heads didn’t go there, too faithful to their wives. Too terrified of their wives was what some civilian women had said with envious voices.

When they say such things, it made her wonder if love had any presence in the shinobi world.

Mizuki’s smile lingered. It still lacked genuine warmth but there was a dangerous edge to it, like a knife hidden underneath a silky scarf. His steps were now slower, more deliberate while his dark eyes focused on the scroll on her back. “You’ve done well,” he praised, his hand hovering back to his pouch. There was no real pride in there, just insincerity. “You really know how to surprise people.”

Her hands reached out to scroll, ready to shove it into his chest, only to halt when he held his hand out in the air. He still had that smile but his eyes had now returned to being calculating, she realised with a sinking heart. What else did he want? Was he going to test her to see if she was telling the truth? “Before I take the scroll, I think you should read it even more,” she blinked as he offered her an apologetic smile. “It’s just that one jutsu might not be enough to pass the test.”

You don’t believe me; she realised with a steady heart. His plans were stupid but he wasn’t a complete idiot like she thought, then again he painted her as a villain to the other shinobi. She slumped her shoulders, eyebrows furrowed together as her voice rose to be a whine. “But you said that I only need to learn one jutsu!” She huffed and waved her arms up in the air. “Y’know how boring it was to read this stupid scroll? I had to rack my brains to understand how to do the jutsu!”

Mizuki lowered his head, his hand brushed against her shoulder. Coldness seeped into her as his voice took a soft, luring tone. “C’mon Naruto. Do you really believe one jutsu will be enough for you to become a genin?” he whispered as his fingers brushed against the hair on her nape. Bile rose up to her throat, threatening to spill at his action. “Even with this one jutsu, the village will still treat you like trash.” His breath tickled her ear. “But if you learn more jutsu and if you become stronger, then who will look down on you?”

What should she do? Even if this was the real scroll, she could potentially be executed for even opening it. If she refused to open it in front of Mizuki, he would realise that it was a fake. He could attempt to kill her and then run away. So what if you aren’t confident in your skills? People bluff their way, only the strong can tell the difference. Satoru had once said those words when he complained about her not realising her value. He demanded for her to just believe it, to be so confident in herself that she would see it. Of course, he would say it in a way that made her want to hit his pretty head.

“Fine,” she declared with a groan. “If it makes you stop your whining, I’ll open it for you.”

She grabbed the fake scroll, fingers playing with the string as those cold eyes stared at her. How did Satoru throw her off? By being so ridiculously arrogant and so full of himself that she forgot her plans. She curved her lips into a smile, continued to fiddle with the string, as the winds brushed against her hands. “Y’know Mizuki-sensei, you sound just like Iruka-sensei when he nags at me to be nicer to the girls,” she tilted her head to the side and innocently asked. “Should I start calling you, Mum?”

Mizuki smiled, a quiet, fake chuckle in the air. “Calling me Mum, huh?” Her stomach clenched when she saw the budge of the vein on his forehead. His fingers crept closer to her neck, touching the various fatal points in her neck while his other hand reached down to his kunai pouch. The smile became haunting, a smile that could only come from a monster. “You’re funny, Naruto.” Panic settled into her gut when he clamped down on her wrist. This whole time, she thought he would choke her, instead he wanted her hands.

“Really? I think I could be better,” she joked with hurting ribs. He squeezed her wrist, not enough to stain it, but enough to make her stomach clench.  Time was running out before she could get him to confess to his reasoning behind his act. Even though his hands were on her wrist, it wasn’t tight enough to leave a bruise. Just enough to make her wince. Her bone ached for relief. Unfortunately, she had to be stuck in this position until he revealed himself.

“You’re wasting my time, Naruto.” His voice was calm. Too calm if you asked her. Like he knew of the mind games she was playing, of the trap that she had planned for him. The pressure on her wrist increased as those eyes became blades, ready to assault her. “I know you well enough to know you wouldn’t be dragging this out if you wanted to pass.” Her throat tightened. Her palm moistened. “Now open the scroll.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat. Her free hand shook, just enough to reveal her own nerves. “Okay, okay, you don’t have to be so touchy about this whole thing,” she shifted the scroll as her mind considered the next steps. A fumble with the string as more words spilled out of her mouth. “Mizuki-sensei, I just—” she bit her lip and made her eyes more doll-like, more baby-like. “If I get caught reading this, can you promise I won’t be executed?”

Finally, Mizuki’s grip loosened. She felt sensation on her wrist, felt the blood rushing straight towards her fingertips. His eyes softened; she would have been fooled if it wasn’t for the way he gripped her hand. “No one is going to execute Naruto,” he declared, his voice was as smooth as coffee. Dogs howled in the background while temperatures began to crash. “Not if you do exactly as I say.”

This is my chance, she realised as her fingers stopped fiddling with the string. If she kept wasting time, if she kept asking for reassurance, then at one point—he would crash. He would babble from frustration. No one could keep their cool for so long, not when shinobis were going to be looking for her. Even now, she heard the loud howls of the Inuzaka dogs. Could taste the danger in the air, it was bitter and disgusting like rotten eggs.

“And after this, I’ll become a genin,” she pressed on, putting a hopeful twist into her words. “That’s what you promised, right? You’ll go to Iruka-sensei and to the Hokage and tell them that I deserve to become a genin.” She kept the innocence in her eyes while she studied the subtle twitch in his fingers.  “Because I don’t want to be executed for this, Mizuki-sensei. I want to live so badly.”

Mizuki’s fingers hovered over her wrist, still acting like a chain. With the moonlight reflecting against his pupils, they were like cold, dark stones that held hints of sick, twisted delight. It chilled her, amidst the cold winds and the hungry howls of the Inuzaka’s dogs: it was those eyes that brought this feeling out of her. “That’s what you want, right?” his words were like poisoned silk. “To live. To be something. To have a future. But tell me, Naruto…” his words became lower, barely audible to the normal human ear. “Do you really think you can have that life in the village?”

Naruto trembled, then fluttered her eyelashes. “What do you mean?”  she whispered, her voice softer, just a little bit more confused. “Why wouldn’t I achieve it? If I become strong, the villagers will have no choice but to respect me.” An owl croaked as those eyes looked at her with cruelty. “The Hokage sees my potential. He knows I can—”

Her words stopped when Mizuki chuckled. It sounded so wrong from him. So cold. So cruel. A laugh associated with monsters that gobbled humans up. “You don’t know, do you?” he smiled like she was a foolish child while the blood inside of her halted. Her whole body felt cold, like she had swam in the rivers during winter. “Oh, you’re still so stupid when it comes to the village. When it comes to the Hokage, Naruto.”

She swallowed and flickered her eyes to the tree, trying to find the ANBU guard. Damn it. She couldn’t even spot them. “What do you mean?” Even to her own ears, it sounded small. Sounded so weak. So vulnerable. But it was enough to push Mizuki to widen his smile, his eyes took on a sick, twisted delight. “What are you talking about, Mizuki-sensei? What about them?”

“They hate you, Naruto.”

The villagers hated her, she had known it from the moment she knew what hate meant. But the Hokage? He had always been neutral to her. One of the few adults who treated her with kindness. The first adult to believe in her insane dream of becoming Hokage. “You’re wrong about the Hokage,” she declared with a heated voice. Except it wasn’t heated, it was weak and meek. For as long as she knew the Hokage, he had always been more distant with her.

Mizuki hummed and brushed his fingers against her pulse, his breath tickled her ears. “You don’t sound so sure, Naruto.” His words were mocking her like she was a stupid child for having such beliefs. She was not stupid. You want to take this hat from me? You better work hard, Naruto. That was what the old man had always said when she declared her dreams, the villagers dismissed her dreams. The old man always encouraged it.

“The Hokage believes in me,” she yelled the words out, not for him. To convince herself. To remind herself of who believed in her when every other adult doubted her capability. Her scream startled the birds, woke them up from their sleep. They scattered away from the tree. “He tells me that I can become Hokage one day, that I can become the first female Hokage that this village had ever seen.”

Mizuki brushed his fingers against her cheeks, his eyes held hints of false sympathy. “Do you really believe the old man gives a shit about you?” The words stabbed her right in the heart. He began to brush his hands against her hair, almost sympathetic to her plight, while her mind raced for various ways to prove him wrong. Those cold hands continued to stroke her hair as her mind scrambled for some kind of logic.

The Hokage had never once hugged her or ever told her that he loved her like his own grandchild. He never looked at her in the same way he looked at Konohamaru. His eyes never carried the same warmth towards her. Every time she demanded to know about her parents, he refused to give her answers. Too young were his words. Wait till you were 16. When she cried and demanded for answers, he didn’t even offer her some comfort. Their relationship had always been more formal, more subordinate-like despite the fact that she wasn’t a genin yet.

But he saved her from the streets and gave her a decent home to live. Yet, he never did anything about the villagers. About their cruel whispers towards her. The way they recklessly accuse her of things, she had never done. He was always watching her. Judging her like he wanted to see her reactions. Her stomach clenched. Why was Mizuki doing this to her? She shouldn’t be questioning things. The old man was the Hokage, not her grandfather. She was his ward, not a family member.

They would never become family.

“You’re still living in that delusional fantasy,” he whispered into her ear. His fingers wrapped around her neck, digging just a little bit pressure while her skin tingled from the prickly coldness. “Do you really think the old man sees you as his second grandchild? That he sees you as the one, who would take over his hat once he is ready to retire again?” His laughter echoed in her ear, cruel like the girls in the Academy. “Don’t be so foolish, Naruto. He doesn’t really see you as the next Fifth Hokage.”

Naruto clenched her jaw. “Shut up.”

He tightened his grip around her neck, nails digging right into her skin. “What can you do?” his voice taunted her as the whole world grew silent, it was like the world held its breath. Just waited for her reaction. “Fight me? Hit me for telling the truth? That isn’t what girls should do when the truth hurts, Naruto.” Her hands reached for his fingers, yanking it away from her neck. The man winced and rubbed his wrist, his eyes held no amusement.

The winds began to scream as the bastard lowered his voice. “Tell me something, Naruto: has the Hokage ever told you why the villagers hate you?” The tree branch rustled at the venomous voice. Her heart stopped with so much force that it threatened to topple her to the ground. His lips became colder, like he took such sick delight in her silence. “He hasn’t told you, has he? He has been lying to you since the day you were born.”

He didn’t slap her but he might as well have. Her whole body became smaller as Mizuki stared at her. He was studying her, she realised with numbness, no doubt to see that her mask of confidence was breaking. His smile widened, his breath caressed her neck as his fingers reached out for the scroll. “You aren’t Uzumaki Naruto,” his voice crackled and became louder. “You’re the Kyuubi, reborn.”

The Kyuubi? The monster that destroyed the village? The one that killed her parents? She shook her head. There was no way. Her hands loosened against the scroll while the tree branch groaned. “What?” her voice became smaller, thinner as her mind scrambled for some way to destroy this lie. “That can’t be true.” The winds carried her cold whisper, her broken voice as she stared straight at the cruel eyes of Mizuki. “You’re lying to me! I can’t be the Kyuubi!”

Her scream echoed throughout the silent forest.

“But it is true,” Mizuki sneered at her and dropped venom in every single word. “The Fourth Hokage didn’t kill the Kyuubi, not even he has the skills to do the impossible,” he pulled out a kunai and pressed it against her stomach. She should attack him. But her mind was blank. Her whole world was crashing down. “A monster like that would be impossible to kill so he did the next best thing: he sealed it.” The kunai dug just a bit deeper against her stomach, a sharp pain erupted. “Do you know where he sealed that disgusting beast?”

Fear gripped her throat as Mizuki’s grin widened. The fear had slithered its way into her gut, made its way into her home, as the silver-haired man pressed his lips against her ear. “Inside of you.” Her hand immediately captured the kunai, the sharp blade sliced through the palm of her hand, but the pain was not enough to snap her out of it. Vomit was making its way up her throat. Cold sweat began to pour out of her body.

The Kyuubi. A monster that killed hundreds, maybe even thousands of shinobis. The monster, which destroyed half of the village with its tail, was inside of her. That was why Choji’s father hated her. My mother died during the Kyuubi’s attack was what Choji had said whenever someone asked about his mother. That was why she was hated. Why everyone looked at her like she was some monster they wanted to be rid of! That was why they would throw those cruel nicknames when they thought she couldn’t hear.

She wanted to run. Wanted to scream—

The shadow moved in the background. The air whistled. A loud girlish scream sliced through the silent air and through her thoughts. There was choking. Naruto blinked. Her ears felt wet. She brushed her fingers against her ear. Blood soaked her finger. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she turned her body around to see the crumpled form of Mizuki. His eyes were now glazed over. There was a kunai to his neck, dangling awkwardly.

Blood stained the green grass.

The ANBU guard jumped down, his owl mask glinted in the moonlight, and he yanked the kunai from the convulsing body. He inspected the kunai for a moment before pulling out a hankerchief, wiping the blade with deliberate slowness. His manner remained fixated, unbothered by the corpse to the ground. Unbothered by what that man had said to her.  Finally, she found her voice again. “What Mizuki said—” she couldn’t gather the courage to say it but she somehow found herself forcing the words out. “—Is he right about me? That I’m the Kyuubi?”

The ANBU took a step forward. “He gave false information based on opinion,” was his short response. “The Hokage will tell you the truth after I hand in my mission report.” He took a couple of steps forward, only to stop in his tracks. “Congratulations Uzumaki: you’re officially a genin.”

Chapter Text

The streets had been, oddly, empty after the ANBU burnt Mizuki’s body. Naruto walked through the stone streets, brain completely numbed and no full sensation in her body. There was no one looking through the windows, no shouts for her actions; there was only pure, cold silence in the streets of Konoha. She barely heard the whistles of the winds, barely cared for the ratty cats running through the streets. In the past, she would stop in her tracks and scoured her pockets for some random food for the street cats.

Usually, the Hokage Tower would have guards flaking the doors with demands to know who would come at this late hour. This time, they stared at her for a moment, their expressions completely blank as they stepped aside for her.  No questions to ask why she was here. No sneer. Just a curt nod that told her that the Hokage was expecting her. She didn’t bother to smile at them. Her muscles felt too much like lead. Her head too. She should have gone straight home but answers were more important than her breaking down at home. She didn’t want to go back to the silence, where her brain would twist and turn her thoughts.

The corridors were colder, seemed like it was dragged forever. Only dim lights decorated the corridors, just barely bright enough for her eyes to make out. She wished it was brighter. Even though she had been a few hours since she entered the Hokage Tower, her mind couldn’t formulate the pathway to the Hokage’s tower. As a little kid, she would dash through these long corridors without a care in the world, eager for her weekly scolding from the old man. It was one of the few times when it felt like he cared. When she felt like she had a family.

From underneath the gaps of one of the doors, she saw bright lights, a beacon, and Naruto wrapped her hands around the knob. It felt like ice had decided to decorate the knob. She swallowed, took a deep breath, before she pulled the door open. There was only the Hokage sitting on his chair, his hat tilted downwards as only coldness greeted her. He didn’t utter a word, he just gestured for her to take the empty seat right in front of him. She did it without her usual smile.

Silence stretched for ages as her hands laid helplessly on her lap. The old man still kept his hat down, still hid his eyes away from her. Was it guilt? Was it hatred? In the past, she would say that it had been hatred. She wished it was hatred. When the villagers hated her, they isolated her from the other kids. They would sneer at her. Pretended she was just the wind and not some kid, who needed help. The Hokage? He gave her money, listened to her demands to eat ramen with him, and never treated her like she was just some kid that needed to be ignored. It was why she could fool herself into thinking that he cared for her. That he loved her.

That he believed in her.

“Owl informed me of what Mizuki had done and said to you,” said the Hokage. His voice lacked any emotion, just pure blankness, and she wished he would react. That his voice carried a hint of emotion: guilt, concern or even hatred for her. He tilted his hat upwards, his eyes had a brief look of concern. “I did not anticipate he would try to touch you or leak the information to you. I—” he exhaled. “—I assumed he would’ve enough common sense as not to do this.”

Her fingers twitched, barely a flicker of sensation, before falling limply on her lap. Her head throbbed. “What didn’t you anticipate? Him threatening me? Or him telling me that I’m the Kyuubi reborn?” She couldn’t bring herself to put some bite into her words, she just closed her eyes. Even her own eyelids were weighted down by this information. “You couldn’t miscalculate something like this, Old Man. You must’ve known he would do this to me.”

The old man closed his eyes. “No, Naruto,” he said and this time, there was a hint of emotion in them. Guilt, this time, was heavy in his voice. “I didn’t believe Mizuki would cross the line when it comes to you. I knew he held resentment. I knew he carried arrogance, but I did not see how reckless he can be. I did not foresee that he would even dare to touch you,” he took a deep breath. “None of the villagers had taken the risk, this was the first time someone dared to lay their hands on you.”

She could guess why. “Because they don’t want to risk the Kyuubi killing them.” They didn’t want to risk the possibility of her killing them. That was why she had never been harassed. Why she couldn’t connect the dots about why she was ignored and hated. How could she connect the dots when her only hint had been monster and fox? She felt like an idiot for not seeing it. Naruto swallowed. “You didn’t think no one wants to risk killing the Kyuubi, reborn.”

He didn’t deny her words, he simply closed his eyes and tugged on the edge of his hat. “Mizuki was wrong about you being the Kyuubi, reborn,” said the Hokage. He leaned back on his chair and just stared distantly at the roof. “That is his opinion but not the truth, Naruto.” A deep breath and the old man levelled his gaze on her. “You have the beast sealed inside of you but that doesn’t make you the Kyuubi. You’re its guard and nothing more.”

Naruto remained silent. She wondered if he could understand her silence, could hear the overwhelming doubt and disbelief in her silence. A guard? That was the role she had been given without a choice? The Hokage, she noticed, kept studying her with unreadable eyes before darting his eyes to the cold, stern expression of the Fourth Hokage. The man, who had burdened her with a monster who murdered her parents.

Her lips moistened as the next question spilled out of her mouth. “Why make everyone believe that the Fourth Hokage killed it?”  Her voice was still void of emotion, she wanted to muster anger. Wanted to muster the betrayal of his actions. But whatever emotions inside of her had faded, had been drained out and replaced with nothingness. She just didn’t know how to act. How to react. It felt like the days were too long for her. All she wanted was to sleep and pretend that it was a nightmare.

“Naruto, I did what I believe could give you a chance of having a normal childhood.” It sounded justified but it was an excuse. Her lips twitched, barely but a hint of emotion crept in. She breathed in the stale air, swallowing a lump of air. Her lungs demanded for it. She wanted to throw something at him. She wanted to scream at him. For one wild moment, she wished he could feel the emptiness drowning her.

So she did the next best thing. She laughed, laughed till tears crawled out of her eyes. “A normal childhood? I didn’t have a normal childhood, Old Man!” Her voice was loud but hollow, it echoed throughout the room. Her childhood had been nothing but normal. Her parents didn’t raise her. She had to steal just to survive. Had to watch the other kids leave with their parents while she went back home to an empty apartment. Teachers accused her of things, she had never done.

At that moment, the Hokage lowered his shoulders and looked so much smaller, much more tired, and much more resigned. His eyes carried tiredness, the dark circles underneath his eyes were so much more prominent. “I’m aware Naruto that your childhood hasn’t been normal despite my best efforts to make it so,” his voice was sharper, angrier and yet it lacked bite. Lacked annoyance at her. She wished he was annoyed. It would make it easier for her to hate him. “I’m aware I should’ve told you sooner but if I had told you at 6 or 10, how would you react? How would the kids in your class react to knowing that you carried the Kyuubi?”

What difference would it have made? She wasn’t popular. The other girls thought she was too loud, too opiniated and too rough, lacking any empathy for their idol. The boys? They played with her, at times, but they would never invite her to their houses. If it wasn’t for Hinata, she would truly be alone in school. Lunchtimes would be filled with cold silence. Loneliness would make its way into her head once more. Loneliness, she knew, was a better killer than hating someone. Loneliness made her wonder if she was human.

“It doesn’t change the fact that this isn’t right,” she whispered, locking eyes on him. It wasn’t resentment. Resentment required emotions, her emotions were still drained. Still buried underneath the weight of what happened to her. The Hokage didn’t deny her words, he simply closed his eyes like the tired, old man that he was. And he was an old man. The light, at this moment, decided to glare at the wrinkles on his forehead. The aged lines on his cheeks. “Why would he pick me of all people? Because my parents are dead? If that’s the case, it makes me think that the Fourth Hokage—” she couldn’t bring herself to finish it. To say that she thought it made the Fourth Hokage lacking any empathy. That he lacked a heart.

The windows rattled. Hiruzen inspected her for a moment before standing up. He didn’t go to her, she didn’t expect him to come and hug her. That had never been their relationship and if he just suddenly decided to hug her, to whisper her sweet lies, then it would be a bigger betrayal. Instead, he dragged his feet towards the window. His eyes were blank while his wrinkly hand reached for one of the window panel.

“The Kyuubi cannot be contained by anyone, there is a criteria that needs to be met,” The Hokage responded. The words came out slow and deliberate like a carefully aimed kunai. He lowered his hat down, hiding his face from the reflection on the window panel. “Unfortunately, you were the only one who could meet these criteria,” her heart began to beat, it was slow but a feeling crept back into her. “He could only use you to become the Jinchuuriki.”

“And how did he know I met the criteria?” He didn’t answer her. He didn’t even look at her. Only silence greeted her, and she hated the stupid silence. What she wanted was answers, to know that there was a reason why she had to endure this crap. She swallowed the large lump in her throat. “Old man, answer me! How did he know I met that kind of criteria in such a short amount of time? I wasn’t the only child born on October 10!”

Hysteria. That was the only way to describe her emotions now. She used to believe in coincidences, it was a coincidence she was hated by the villagers. It had been a coincidence that her birthday fell on one of the most tragic days in Konoha’s history. Her throat tightened. Her vision was starting to become one big blur of lights and colours. Except nothing in her life was a coincidence. Her birthday coincided with the Kyuubi’s defeat. She had been chosen to contain the stupid beast because she met some stupid criteria. With how quick the devastation had been, the various buildings and businesses destroyed, the Hokage couldn’t have wasted a second to find the right baby.

“I’ll answer your questions when you become a chunin and no later,” his words were curt, with no room for argument. And she knew there was no argument. It was an order. This was an order from her Hokage, not a feeble plea from her guardian. She trembled. This wasn’t something she could just let…go. She had to hear this shit from Mizuki. From a man that laid his hands on her wrist. Had nearly choked her. Her eyes threatened to burn but she refused to spill her tears.

“I need answers! Don’t keep me in the dark!”

Her screams rattled the photos of the previous Hokages. It wasn’t enough to budge the old man from his stance. “And you’ll get answers,” the Hokage said quietly, his hands pressed deeper against the window. “Right now, you aren’t in the mental state to handle all this information. You’re also not mature enough to handle—”

“—Mizuki touched me and tried to break me, Old Man!” Her voice became choked up. Her hand rubbed her neck, it still tingled with disgust at the vile hands of Mizuki-sensei. She needed to scrub her whole body clean of his vile touch. “I deserve the truth, Old Man! I—” She couldn’t finish saying those words. Her voice was now choked up, the stupid lump had grown and all she wanted was to crawl into her bed and cried over what happened. Over the stupid news.

There was a whimper from the floor, then a sudden weight on her shoulder. She sniffed, swallowed the lump,  and found wrinkly hands steadying her. Her eyes met the old man’s eyes. Emotions had crept into him. Grief, tiredness and maybe pain. This wasn’t the Hokage touching her, it was the kind, old man who found her in the forest. The one who ate her grilled fish, laughing at her childish words. She hadn’t seen this side of him since he gave her the apartment.

“Naruto, you’ve been through a lot, more than what the typical Academy Student would go through to get the Hitai-ate,” he acknowledged with a quiet weight. He stared straight into her eyes, unmasked and filled with so many emotions. She hated it. It made it more difficult for her to hate him, to think of him as some villain in her story. “I want you to get some rest, to regroup yourself. We can discuss this again when you have come to terms to what happened to you.”

Her chest tightened. “What difference does it make if I regroup? It doesn’t change the fact that I felt violated by that creep!” Her voice cracked. “I can’t just get over it in just a span of a day. That shit is impossible, even in our lessons—they say that this is the worst thing that can happen to a girl.” Her skin crawled. “I can’t pretend that it didn’t happen! It doesn’t work that way, Old Man! I am trying but my mind can’t erase what happened!”

He didn’t tell her to get a hold of herself, he just knelt down and steadied her as the tears kept pouring out. If he had told her to get a hold of herself, she could easily justify hating this old man. If he had told her to act like a shinobi like all the other adults, she could act like he hated her. She could force herself to hate this old man. But for some sick, twisted reason, she loved this old man. He was the only grandfather-figure, she ever had. He always treated her like she was a human being.

“I know you can’t erase what happened, but you’ve been through so much for one day, Naruto,” he said quietly, his voice was now strong. It was like he was holding himself together as well, but she didn’t believe it. Until today, he never cared and he never would. “I don’t want to see more of that light die from your eyes. I—” he took a deep breath. “—I miscalculated with Mizuki and what length he would do to get the scroll, but right now I don’t want to take the risk with you.”

She hiccupped. “I’ve the right to know, Old Man. It’s my life.”

The Hokage closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. “Naruto, I don’t want you to look at your father in a different light.”

Her father. What would her father have to do with anything? He couldn’t have given permission to the Hokage. No real father would do that. Not when he lost his wife. Not unless he hated her. She trembled and shook her head. The stupid tears weren’t going to stop now. Her whole life, she believed with wild hope, that her parents had loved her. That they didn’t mean to leave her. But if her father agreed to the Hokage to use her, then…

He never loved her.

“Old Man, did my father ever love me? Was I ever wanted?”

The silence stretched on, heavy with grief. The old man closed his eyes but didn’t utter any words to reassure her that her father loved her. That she had been a child who had been wanted. Naruto swallowed, took a deep breath, and stood up from her seat. She didn’t need this anymore. She wanted to sleep. To feel the complete bliss of darkness as she regrouped herself. In two days, she would have orientation and she wasn’t going to let Iruka-sensei see her like this.

Just when her hands reached the door knob, the old man spoke and uttered the words that shattered her heart:

“Your parents loved you, Naruto.”

Did they? Why did they allow her to become the vessel of the Kyuubi?

“Your mother risked her life to bring you into this world.” His words were heavy with unspoken grief, but it was all a sweet lie. If he cared, he would have said these things when she demanded to know about her parents. When she came to him with tears streaming down her eyes after one of the girls claimed her mother abandoned her.

The old man clenched his fist. “And your father…he wanted nothing more to hold you, just once.”

But he never did, and he never will.

Satoru knew something was up when the usually blue skies of his dreams was grey, filled with so many storm clouds. Grief was thick in the air as the winds wailed and bellowed in the background. Even the moon was unusual, not the usual silver colour, but pure blackness. In the years since his soulmate dreams with Naruto began, he had come to realize the dreams mimicked the other soulmate’s emotion depending on the location of the dream. If he was happy and in Naruto’s home, it reflected it. If Naruto was angry in his home, the world would mimic it. Odd. But that was what made soulmate dreams different from other dreams.

He took slow steps to the pond. Naruto sat in front of his pond, not her usual straight spine, but hunched over. Her body was shaking like a rattlesnake. Only the wailing winds and the cold rainwater smacking the green grass could be heard. He didn’t expect her to cry. Naruto, he acknowledged, was not a crier. Not emotional. But the skies reflected her unspoken grief. Even the clear blue water of his pond reflected her mood. It was now grey, muddy and reeked of filth.

“This place used to be annoyingly perfect,” he said, taking a step onto the grass. Even the grass was muddy, not pristine or lush. This was a dream, thankfully, or else Grandfather would be furious over the state of the gardens. Would scream at the servants while levelling his eyes at his mother. As the lady of the Gojo Clan, your role is to ensure this compound is perfect, would be what he say to his mother. Mother would keep silent, smile sweetly and muttered apologies before fixing this mess. Father would remain silent but his eyes would hold a silent anger.

Naruto didn’t say anything. She didn’t even react. None of her usual smartass remarks. It was pure, cold silence from her. He swallowed the lump in his throat, it was constricting and something he wanted to be rid of. He wrinkled his nose at the mud clinging to his shoe, somehow it wiggled its way into his feet, while the girl just stared blankly at the oak tree. At his mother’s oak tree. At the rotten bark and the infested green leaves.

“Everything feels so dirty,” Naruto whispered. Her voice was numb, nothing like her usual fiery self; it was as if someone had drained all the emotions inside of her. Her eyes were dead, so much like a broken doll. He didn’t like it. This wasn’t Naruto. This was a fake, not his soulmate. His soulmate was stronger than this. “I took a bath before I went to bed. I still feel so dirty, Satoru.” Even her own voice lacked any form of life. His whole body was cold, not from the rain drowning him, but like someone had dunked him in a bucket of cold water.

“You’re scaring me, Naruto,” he declared, trying to keep his tone light. To not show concern. Emotions are for the weak, Satoru and you aren’t weak, those were the words Grandfather would utter whenever he showed a hint of emotion. A hint of anger. In this dream world, he could express himself even if it was a struggle for him. He ignored the dark mud clinging to his pants. “You’re acting like someone died. If you failed the genin exams, well it isn’t the end of the world—” he paused and tried to find the right words. “—I told you, it doesn’t matter. You’re still awesome.”

That didn’t crack a smile on her face. She just stared straight at the decaying leaves. “I became a genin, Satoru.” No genuine joy. It was normal, like they were talking about the weather and not the first step towards her achieving her dream. Her face was just blank, pure emotionless. Grandfather would say it showed her strength, she didn’t seem like his strong soulmate. If he wanted a doll, he would enjoy being around the boring girls of the other clans when he met them.

Naruto was fun when she showed her emotions to the whole world.

“No celebration speech? No gloating about the fact you proved those idiots wrong?” He tried to gasp for straws, tried to find someway to get some form of reaction from this annoying, most headstrong girl he knew. This lifelessness? It wasn’t Naruto. This, he realised when she decided not to respond, was serious. More serious than some stupid kid insulting her dream. “Am I really talking to the real Naruto?”

No response. No change in expression. The rain only became stronger, drenching his kimono till it clung to his body. His heart became slower while his voice just died down. She looked like Father when Grandfather and him had their ‘talks’, a broken person. It never dawned on him why Mother would get upset, why her eyes would tear up and her usual curses. Seeing someone like this? When they were filled with so much life, only to become an empty shell of themselves. It was…like the whole world had chosen to stop moving. Like life could not go on.

With a deep breath, he decided to just sit beside her. The bottom of his kimono was wet, dirtied by this mud, while his eyes took in the subtle slime coating the oak bark. He couldn’t bring himself to move. All he could do was just sit in this drowning silence. He glanced at Naruto. She didn’t even spare a glance at him, she just stared at the oak tree with dead eyes. His hands itched to shake her shoulders, to bring back some life in this thick-headed girl.

As short as she was, Naruto had never been this…small. She always screamed, always hit, and always reacted whenever something bothered her. Whatever happened, he realised, had been her breaking point. How could he snap her out of this depressing state? This wasn’t his friend. This was a fake. He wanted to yell it at her, to make her just react, but if his jokes couldn’t get her to react. How could he get her to just say something? Ruffling her feathers hadn’t worked.

From the distance, the pebbles began to crack. The world beneath them began to rumble, groaning and screaming. The black sky began to tear just a little bit like a silky, black cloth. Keeping quiet wasn’t helping. Nothing seemed to be helping her. Satoru swallowed and balled his hands into a fist. For the first time since they met, he felt a hot rage washed over him. All he could see was red at her behaviour.

“Are you going to tell me what the hell is happening, Naruto? Are you even trying to pick yourself back up?” His scream echoed throughout the dark sky; the tree branch crashed into the murky pond. She didn’t react. Satoru grabbed her shoulders and shook her, trying to regain some feeling into this annoying girl. She twitched. Finally, some form of reaction. Any emotion, he decided, would be better than this. From above them, the clouds rumbled with crackling lightning. Good. It meant some form of emotions was flowing back into her.

“You think I like feeling this way? I can’t feel anything!” Her voice carried frustration and anger. Lightning struck the ground, a loud crack and the grass began to frizzle. Smoke waffled through the air, it smelt burnt and muddy but he didn’t care. As long as Naruto was showing some form of emotion, he could deal with this state. “I can’t figure out how to fix my situation! I became a genin like I wanted but I had to—” her voice began to choke up. “—I had to have my teacher threaten me, touch me in ways that made me feel disgusted.” Her eyes began to tear up. “He didn’t,” she exhaled. “He didn’t touch me in that way but it would have been better. I would’ve expected it but he tried to strangle me, I can still feel his breath on my ear! I can feel his disgusting hands on me!”

His vision became red. He felt all the blood inside of him pooling down to his feet. Faint, he realised. Faint with a rage to kill the bastard for even laying a hand on Naruto. It was stupid. How could he murder him when they were far away? You’re being irrational was what Grandfather would say if he saw him like this. Mother would understand. She would sit down, sprout some weird words to him, and then stared at him with mourning eyes. She enjoyed Naruto and her antics. She suits you and your needs was what she would say.

Would she still believe it if she saw how Naruto was breaking down? Saw how much he wanted to murder the bastard? Even now, his nails dug into the palm of his hand until a sharp pain erupted. Blood dripped onto the murky green grass, staining it. Was this what helplessness felt like? Because if it was, he despised it. This felt like weakness. He opened his mouth, only to close it when nothing came out. Why? Why couldn’t he say anything to her? Naruto stared at him for a moment and then swallowed, visibly trying to get some oxygen into her mouth.

Her frame shook like a fragile little china doll, just ready to break at the tiniest breeze. Lightning, above them, crackled once more. The sky split even further, now resembled a bigger tear in the cloth. The whole dreamscape was in mourning, was crying for this younger girl beside him. He balled his hands into a fist, his nail dug even further into the open blister of his palm. Blood clung into his short nail but It didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered because…because Naruto was drowning in emotions that he couldn’t understand.

His jaw tightened as his hand slipped into his own kimono shirt. “Naruto,” she stared at him as he removed his own shirt. He tossed it to her. “Wear this.” She blinked, completely at loss, and he turned his head away. Too embarrassed to admit his own care. “You said you feel dirty right? You can wear this shirt instead.” Her eyes stared blankly at his kimono shirt for a moment before she darted her eyes at him. Expecting, and he realised what was going through her mind. “Fine, I’ll look away! Don’t know why you think I’ll look, you don’t really have—”

“—I bind my chest, you idiot!” It lacked any heat but at least, she wasn’t being a complete zombie. That was a win if you asked him. And it was a bit more information than he wanted to know because now it made him wonder if her chest was actually larger than it looked. Satoru shoved the thought aside. He curved his lips into a cheeky smile but Naruto didn’t smile. She just swallowed and tightened her grip on his kimono shirt. It seemed like his shirt had become her lifeline. He wasn’t saying this from her grip. The rain finally stopped, the skies were slowly weaving itself back together, not effortlessly but there were visible stiches. “Thank you.”

The silence stretched on but this time, comforting and not at all suffocating. He turned his body around, observing the muddiness fading away from the grass like it never existed. It wasn’t the same lush green from before, but it was better. There was a shuffle, a shirt and jacket crashed onto the ground like lead, and the gentle slid of a shirt being put on. Time seemed to drag on as he waited for her to finish wearing his shirt. The cold winds felt less harsh against his skin. Finally, Naruto called out to him to turn around.

She was drowning in his shirt but the deadness in her eyes faded just a bit. Life had slipped into her once more. She tugged on his shirt, hugging herself like she was trying to sooth her. He would hug her, but hugging wasn’t his thing. Mother hugged. She loved giving hugs even when he complained about how embarrassing it was. His eyes drifted to the healing skies. An improvement, he knew. It meant Naruto was going to be okay. Not completely but not an absolute mess.

Naruto tugged on his shirt, no doubt trying to ground herself. The shirt swallowed her, which was odd, because he was only a little bit taller than her. But dreams never made sense. Even now, the bottom hem of his shirt brushed against her thighs. She looked so tiny. Ridiculously tiny. He swallowed. Just watched her as she shifted in his shirt, looking just as uncomfortable as he was about the clothes.

She stared at the stitching skies, breathing in the air with shaky breaths. Her eyes stared at the ground, the ground that was now mending itself. Her eyes were no longer tearing up, a little hint of her strength was coming back. “Satoru?” Her voice was small, hesitant but alive. Not dead like earlier. “Do you ever feel like…you never had a chance to have a normal life?” The wind carried her voice, it echoed throughout this dreamscape. Like an announcement.

Yes. Mother had made it clear that the reason Grandfather accepted the union of his parents had been for the potential of someone like him. That if they hadn’t been soulmates, his grandfather would have destroyed his mother’s family. That his parents would never have been together. Father, he came to understand, was always so helpless when it came to Grandfather. Always meeker. Always more like a small child. When he had been born with both Limitless and Six Eyes, a normal life had never been an option. Until Naruto, he never cared. Why care for normalness when people could never understand him? But his soulmate, the one who should be his equal, cared too much about stupid people.

“A normal life,” he repeated, studying her. “You mean having a family and stuff? The things that girls, in your village wanted? Or having more friends and having not to prove yourself to them?” With Naruto, it could be either of these things. In the four years he came to know her, she never talked about marriage or stuff. Not that he cared. Marriage was a pain, his parents were soulmates but they were hurting from being under his grandfather’s rule. Sometimes, he wished he had been born a bastard.

Bastards, he decided, had more freedom. The mother of bastards weren’t bound to stifling rules like his mother.

“The not proving part,” she whispered, rubbing her arms.

He remained silent for a moment, noticing the murky waters had shifted to a lake of blood. Not thick like blood but the colour reminded him of it. Even the smell was metallic like blood. “Where is this coming from, Naruto?” He didn’t look at her, just looked at the bloody lake. How many times have I told you not to care about them? The words were on the tip of his tongue but he remained silent. Even he knew better than to say such cruel words to her.

For a moment, she uttered no words. Those small hands fiddled with his blue kimono shirt, like she wanted to pull it up. Like his shirt brought more weight on her instead of the comfort, he hoped it would give. The air thickened. It became dark, moody and nothing like the girl before him. This world was still in mourning, not the same crippling mourning from earlier, but one that threatened to make him shift in his seat with discomfort.

“…The villagers,” Naruto’s voice wobbled, “I used to think they hated me for some stupid reason. That they hated me for being so…loud, so annoying. I thought that maybe they cursed me to be alone,” she laughed, not a joyful one but a hollow laugh. The kind of laugh made to fool themselves. His heart began to crack. “Turns out that they didn’t curse me, it turns out I fit some criteria for the Hokage.” Rain began to fall, crying with the stone-cold girl beside him. “My hero, he—” her voice cracked. “—he sealed some demon inside of me when I was a baby. My father let him.”

The winds sobbed; the trees became even duller while the clouds cried even harder. Satoru held his hand out, capturing the cold tears of the sky as his own mind processed the news. What kind of sicko would do this to his own kid? Why did adults always make all the decisions without thinking about what they wanted? He wanted to say it, but Naruto had reverted into her lifeless state. Her voice had become hollow in the end, like she wanted to separate herself from this whole thing.

“…What?” He asked, stalling for time as he considered what words to say to her. What words could he say? Joking with her, he knew, would just make the whole thing worse. Whacking her head would just make the whole thing worse. Silence settled between them as Naruto stared at the bloody water. It felt like the lake had begun to bleed, there seemed to be more water than usual. The skies, on the other hand, was still in that depressing shade of grey.

Naruto exhaled, short and bitter. “You heard me, didn’t you?” Her fingers dug right into his kimono shirt. “There’s a demon inside of me,” she swallowed like it pained her to say this. Her hand slipped from the kimono shirt to the whisker marks on her cheeks. “The Fourth Hokage put it in me because I fit some criteria to contain it. The whole village hate me because I carried the demon that killed their families—” Her voice wobbled. “—That’s why they never let the other kids play with me.”

No words were needed for him to understand the bigger picture. Thirteen, he might be, but he knew Naruto. In their dreams, he was free to be himself and she was free to be herself. When they played games, talked about their homes, he understood one part of her that separated her from him. He didn’t care for people. Why care for them when he was the strongest? Naruto struggled with that. She cared. She ranted very time whenever some stupid kid compared her to Sasuke. Threw curses whenever she talked about the rude girls.

He could say ‘I don’t care about that’ but it wouldn’t really be enough to get Naruto back in track.

“So your problem is that you care about how they think you are some demon?” For once, he didn’t taunt her about this. Even he knew better than to be cruel. He just, he just wanted to understand what was going through that thick head of hers. The temptation to nudge her, to shake her slim shoulders was there, but he swallowed down the urge. He, simply, stared at the bleeding lake. If Grandfather was here, he would call it demonic. Would believe a curse lived in there. Curses were easy to kill, comforting a hurt girl? That was a training, he needed.

She exhaled and gripped his shirt. “Of course I care, Satoru!” She spat out, her voice carried hurt. “Wouldn’t you care if you found out now you know why parents kept pulling their kids away from them? Why people just treat you like some kind of monster?” The lake rippled with her hurt. The winds lashed against the trees, trying to whip it into shape. It even felt like it carried needles, poking him to the bone.

He tipped his head back and looked at the grey clouds. “Nope,” she blinked as he let out a scoff. “You know me, Naruto. In the past four years, have I ever showed that I give a damn about what people think of me?” She trembled and looked away, he sighed. “Why should I care when I know I’m going to be the strongest? When I know at one point, I’ll get the system to bow down to my demands? It’s pointless to care about some stupid adults.”

From the flare in her eyes, he knew he was getting to her. That his words brought the desired effect of snapping her out of this cloud of despair in her. His soulmate, he decided from the moment they met, was going to learn not to give a shit about dumb people. She was his soulmate; she was going to be a strong kunoichi and she needed to get into her thick head that adults didn’t matter. That she should care about what she thought of herself. Grandfather was right about one thing: the strong should never care for the thoughts of the weak.

“I’m not you, Satoru!” She declared with a heated whisper. “You told me yourself that everyone in your clan just praised you for being strong. I—” her voice became so hollow and tired. “—I’m trying so hard to get the same praise! It comes to you so easily while I have to work for scrapes and…” She swallowed. “…And I wish that I didn’t have to do that. I wished they didn’t see me as the Kyuubi, I wish they see me as Naruto.”

Satoru stared. “Are you the Kyuubi? Because I don’t know what kind of monster would just prank people that insulted them,” she blinked and he began to list all of the things that made her…her. The things that he enjoyed about her. “I mean a monster wouldn’t give a shit about the thoughts of stupid people. They would be planning revenge but you’re just walloping in your sorrow for a bunch of people that doesn’t deserve it.” He raised another finger. “You care about them when most of them never cared about you. I think the Kyuubi wouldn’t give a shit about that.” She just stared at him, taken aback and bottom lip trembling. “You’re loud, annoying for a girl and so stubborn. You have such big dreams and you never shut up—”

“—Are you trying to insult me, Satoru!” Her voice lacked any heat or bite.

He scoffed. “No, I’m trying to get through your thick head not to give a shit about what they think of you!” The winds halted while he swallowed the thick lump in his throat. This was moving to the sappy zone, this was not the zone that he wanted to be in. “People will always judge you even when you’re the strongest and you just have to not care about it.” He hesitated for a moment before tapping her forehead. “What you should care about is how I see you!”

She snorted. “Now you’re having a big-head again.”

“See? If you don’t care about how I see you then why care for a bunch of idiots?”

Naruto blinked at him, the storm in her eyes flickering, uncertain, before she huffed. “You really are annoying, Satoru.” It lacked any bite but there was gratitude in her voice. It was a sign. She was not going to be okay anytime soon but his friend was going to get back to her usual self. Maybe in the next dream, they would be in her apartment and arguing about which character was the best. It would be their safe haven again. He would get through her thick head about what mattered.

He smirked, tilting his head back as he let out a dramatic sigh. “Took you long enough to realize.”

She snorted, the sound a little hoarse but real. That was what he wanted. She wasn’t like the girls in Jujutsu Society, not some little girl taught that her worth was tied to her ability to have kids. His soulmate was so perfectly imperfect. So real, so unafraid to be herself and he wanted it to remain that way.  The wind around them settled, the last remnants of the storm fading into a cool, steady breeze. The lake, once bleeding and chaotic, rippled gently—like it was breathing again.

For the first time that night, Naruto let herself lean into the warmth of his borrowed shirt and whispered, “Thanks.”

Satoru didn’t say anything—he didn’t have to. He just nudged her shoulder with his own, the weight of the world a little lighter between them. They were going to be okay.

Chapter Text

When the Hokage summoned him to discuss about his latest team, Kakashi had not expected for him to inform him of the full extent of what happened between Naruto and Mizuki. News had come out of Naruto’s deed; she had managed to get him to reveal his betrayal by pretending to steal a forbidden scroll. To many, it was a surprise that an Academy Student had managed to get a traitor to confess. No one had made a comment about her promotion. When one managed to do a feat such like that, it was reasonable for the child to become a genin.

However, it was not reasonable, Kakashi would acknowledge, to put a young girl in such extreme distress and then allow her to do missions once she passed the second genin exams. If Naruto and her teammates passed, he would not be allowing them to do any C-rank missions even when they reached the minimum amount needed for them to be approved for a C-rank missions. He grimaced and stared at the newest photo of Naruto, at the lack of emotions in her eyes. A complete contrast to Sakura Haruno. That girl’s eyes showed eagerness and innocence while even the photo showed a hint of bounce.

In another lifetime, Naruto would have been the same.

“So you want me to keep an eye on Naruto,” Kakashi dragged the words out as Hiruzen slid a report to him, it barely made any sound against the wooden table. He raised his eyebrow but the old man remained silent, unwilling to inform him of the contents of the report. Thinning his lips, he picked up the report and raised his eyebrows at the title of the report: The Traitor’s Last Words: Interrogation and Elimination of Mizuki. He swallowed. “Is this—”

“—It is Owl’s full report of what exactly happened that night,” The Hokage confirmed. His eyes carried no emotion, his voice lacked any hint of his own personal feelings towards the matter.  Not that one would expect the man to show emotions. He was his subordinate, not a trustworthy ally. As shinobi, they were not allowed to display emotions. They were meant to move forward, to endure and accept what happened. Empathy for what happened to Naruto…would not have been approved by any other shinobi. For him, he did not care for how the Hokage reacted to it. Not everyone could take into account everything. “It is…disturbing.”

Kakashi raised his eyebrows, disturbing was a strong word to be used for assault and took a deep breath. How disturbing was it? For a man who had been a shinobi longer than he had been alive, it spoke volumes of what happened that dark night. The knowledge almost threatened to make him tremble, but he reigned himself in; gripped his emotions like a taunt rope. Becoming emotional had never helped. Just brought feelings that one did not want to feel. “Did he…” He couldn’t even bring himself to ask the unspoken word.

For men, the topic was heavy and in the rare case when it did happen to them, it left a scar that never healed. For a child? For a girl? He could only imagine how disturbed his future student would be. His breath became shallow for a moment before it regained its steady pace. Hiruzen lowered the hat, his body trembled for a moment, before he shook his head. “It does not matter that he hadn’t gone to that extent, Kakashi,” his voice was grave and a warning as the air became stall. “Naruto has not been the same since that day: more quiet, more withdrawn from people, and less—” he exhaled with resignation. “—Less trusting of people. I fear she may close herself off from her teammates, Kakashi.”

That was a given, not a fear. When a person endured a trauma such like Naruto, it would be expected for her not to gather the courage to talk to people. To be open with them. He looked at her face, at the lack of smile playing on her lips. When she didn’t smile, she resembled Minato-sensei. The colour of her hair. The colour of her eyes. Even the mannerism resembled him. But Minato-sensei knew how to smile so wide, had laughed without a care in the world, and showed some emotions. Naruto. It was clear she had lost it.

“You mean if  they pass,” he corrected with a detached tone. Hiruzen thinned his lips, he was clearly displeased by his implication, and Kakashi sighed. Resigned for the inevitable lecture that would come from this. It had not been the first nor would it be the last time. You expect me to believe that not a single team was ready to be a shinobi? That had been the first question crawling out of the old man when he handed the failure of each student. They lacked the key aspect of being a shinobi, the most important skill for a genin: teamwork and putting aside differences. Every single time, he had been proven right. “She might be Minato-sensei’s daughter but I refuse to pass a team based on that simple fact. Yes, she went through something horrible but it would be more reason not to let her pass: the next time will be worse—she needs to learn how to cope when her teammates cannot understand the extent of what she went through.”

Hiruzen took a deep breath. This was going to be another reprimand. “Kakashi—”

“—Minato-sensei never coddled me even when my father committed Seppuku,” Hiruzen closed his mouth while Kakashi stared at his mentor’s face. At the stern eyes. Naruto was his mentor’s child, she was not his child. Minato-sensei would have closed down any possibility of Naruto becoming a shinobi after what happened to her, he would have been emotional. For him, he could not afford being emotional. His father did not have the strength to carry on, he would rather not have to deal with his mentor’s child doing the same. “He gave me the space to mourn for him, he expected me to break down but I moved forward. Coddling her will not allow her to grow, Hokage.”

The old man leaned against the squeaky chair, his eyes levelled with him. “I agree but from all the children that graduated from the Academy this year alone, how many of them could accomplish what Naruto had done?” The question lingered like a bitter tea. It was a valid question. In the years since the war, there had been very little children who would go to the extreme length that Naruto had done. “Put another child in the same situation: would they have come to me and begin to develop a plan to capture a criminal? Or would they have tried to steal an illegal scroll? Would they have accepted their failure and try again in another year?”

The current generation, Kakashi acknowledged, was too spoiled. A good thing in times of peace: it meant their bellies were stuffed with food, it meant that they did not have to sit by the door with fear gripping their hearts of their parents never coming back, and they could afford complaining about the lack of luxury. In times of missions? They were a pain. Jounins instructors had complained about it. Too disgusted, too much whiny, and too many delusions were their complaints about the current generation.

Reality never kicked into them until they faced their first death. Until they witnessed the life being sucked away of a human. Murdering animals could only do so much, killing an actual human? It was darker. Much more traumatizing. You looked into a human’s face and you could replace it with your own. Life was fleeting. Everyone had to learn it but it would be better if Academy Students were drowned with a bucket of cold reality.

“Perhaps it would’ve been better if she had waited another year,” he said in a quiet voice. “If she had chosen to wait another year, if you hadn’t agreed to her plans then this whole mess could have been avoided.” If Naruto had simply accepted the outcome or if the Hokage hadn’t agreed to using her as bait, then she could have avoided the trauma. Did he blame her? No, she wasn’t thinking rationally. Did he blame Mizuki? Yes, a grown man should have known better than to touch a child. Did he blame the Hokage? Yes, it was a risk he shouldn’t have taken.

Hiruzen’s voice lacked any emotion, as if he wanted to mask his own thoughts on the matter. “If I hadn’t agreed to do her plan, I fear Danzo would have taken advantage of her grief towards failing the genin test,” he exhaled. “When Naruto’s grades began to show improvement, he had been pushing the elders to pressure me into having her take an earlier graduation exam.” Kakashi stared at him. The council could only give him so much pressure; Hiruzen sighed. “It may be difficult for you to believe but even I’m not immune to pressure.”

An obvious statement, one should not be made, but Kakashi only grimaced at the reminder. He was more than aware of the limitations set on the hat. It was better for them to discuss another possibility. “Do you believe there is also a chance that Naruto would defect from the village after this?”  It was best for them to open the topic up, to discuss about the most likely consequence of Mizuki’s actions. If Naruto passed, they would need to prevent her from running away. Even if she had the right. She would not survive with ANBU tracking her down.

Hiruzen closed his eyes. He interlaced his hands and breathed in the air with quiet resignation. “If this question was asked before Mizuki’s actions, I would be confident to say she would not and that your only concern would be making sure that Sasuke Uchiha does not defect,” he confessed in a quiet tone. “Now I’m not certain of what she will do, Kakashi. She has been assaulted, had found out about the Kyuubi, and it would be reasonable to expect she would run.”  He looked almost resigned to the whole thing. “People have run away for much less, why should Naruto be any different?”

That was his fear. Why would Naruto be any different from any other person going through hardship? The villagers saw the girl as a monster, the Kyuubi reborn— a disgusting title, but she was painfully human. He had watched the girl from a distance, observed the way her attention-seeking ways had shifted from Kushina’s tactics to a more subtle form. More like Minato-sensei. More ruthless. His eyes met the stern eyes of his mentor. What would he do in the same scenario?

“So you believe the possibility is high.” He opened Naruto’s file once more, focusing on the instructor’s notes. Works well with Hyuga and most of the boys; has a high potential of becoming jounin. It was not just Iruka’s notes but an acknowledgment of the other teachers. What drew his attention was Hyuga. One bond would be potentially enough for the girl to stay and if she was as smart as the teachers had acknowledged, she would know better than to run. But emotions could make people go against logic. His father made the right call for his team, yet his emotions overwhelmed him. “What you want is another reason for Naruto to not consider running away. It’s why you want me to ensure she learns to trust her teammates.”

A heavy silence settled in the room. Hiruzen did not deny his words. There was an unspoken wish on his face, a desire taking shape in his face. Kakashi wondered if right now the request that was now coming from the old man was the request of his Hokage or the request of a guardian, who knew he wronged an innocent child. A small girl. And Naruto was small. He might not have seen her since the day she was born, too busy with his own work, but he recalled how tiny she had been as a baby. Whiskered cheeks and a large set of lungs.

Hiruzen offered a feeble, weak sigh. “I want you to be careful with her, Kakashi,” he confessed with a quiet voice. “I want you to check up on her, make sure that she doesn’t do…” the man shook his head, he turned his head away like it pained him to admit what was the most likely consequence of what Mizuki had done. Suicide was always a possibility. There were many shinobis, who in their trauma, committed it. No will to live with what they had done. “I don’t want you to judge her if she refuses to huddle next to Sasuke or if she becomes harsher with Haruno. What happened to her has changed her in ways that neither you nor I can understand.”

It was a given. He closed the file, placed it on his lap, and stared at the bland coloured ceiling. Assault like Naruto’s was not rare in their society, what was rare of how young Naruto was to go through it. During the war, girls weren’t sent to seduce perverted men, not until they were 16. A better time than the olden days, where young girls were dolled up, taught pretty words and then immediately sent into espionage missions. The number of females who lived to become adult women were higher.

“Emotions aren’t my best suit,” Kakashi acknowledged, his words were enough to make the Hokage look at him with unreadable eyes. “I can make sure the girl eats properly during missions but I’ve difficulty in understanding females.” He pressed his lips into a thin line, staring heavily at the man before him. “This is for a normal female but one who underwent a traumatic situation? This will be out of my depth, Hokage. She needs another female, not a man incapable of understanding her pain.”

“I’m aware of your short-comings, Kakashi.” His voice held a hint of understanding, but understanding was not going to let him not deal with Naruto’s trauma. His dark eyes were intense and firm. “But you are the only one I can trust with her.” Kakashi raised his eyebrows, ready to point out Kurenai, but the old man must have realised his incoming argument. The Hokage pressed on. “I considered having Koharu help Naruto through this but she’ll be far too harsh with Naruto for not…accepting what happened. Kurenai?” The man grimaced. “She refused to have Naruto in her team. She believes that Hinata is too reliant on Naruto to give her self-confidence…she wishes for them to be separated for the Hyuga heiress to grow. And Anko…”

No words were needed for why Anko would be the worst person to deal with Naruto and her trauma. The woman barely had a leash on her own troubles, much less Naruto’s issues. Kakashi rubbed his chin. Once again, a fact needed to be reminded for the old man. “With what happened to her, Naruto will not trust me,” he had said with cold calmness. He looked to the photo of the Fourth Hokage. “I’ll be her authority figure and a male. She will have a very difficult time opening up to me.”

The air became stale, like all the moisture had been sucked away from it. Hiruzen lowered his hat, his shoulders appeared ready to crash onto the wooden table. “Kakashi, I’m aware I deprived you of a chance to bond with her when she was a mere child but right now I need you to develop a bond with her,” his heart stopped and his palm began to sweat at the sudden emotional request. It was emotional. “She needs someone especially when I tell her of her parents because either she figures it out before the Chunin Exams or I’ll tell her when she achieve the rank in six months’ time.”

Bond with his mentor’s child? A difficult concept for him. She was a girl, she had been expressive until Mizuki’s assault, and he barely knew how to communicate with people. Much less a young girl. Did she enjoy skincare like other girls? Such discussions bore him. If Rin was alive, she would have been the one bonding with the girl. Obito, if he had lived, would have been better. More emotional. Even when he was a child, it had baffled him on why he needed to bond with his teammates. The sunlight suddenly struck the photo of the Fourth Hokage, blazing him.

“You have that much faith Naruto can jump through the ranks that quickly?” It was better to change the subject then for him to dwell on his own short-comings. He looked down at the file. It was true Naruto was her father’s child but it didn’t mean she would have the same capabilities. They were two different people, the girl could have inherited her father’s brains but her upbringing was different. Harsher than his mentor’s upbringing. “One will say that you’ve blind faith in her and her capabilities.”

The Hokage watched. He pulled out his smoking pipe and lit it up. “Blind faith would be thinking that Naruto would succeed because she is her parents’ child, I don’t believe she will become a chunin because of that. I believe in her desire to change a struggle into an opportunity.” The old man blew a couple of smoke rings, his eyes became thoughtful. “I shouldn’t have accepted her plan but Naruto took a difficult situation and made it an opportunity to become a genin. A leader need to be able to see a difficult scenario and find a way to make it a victory for their team.”

Kakashi thinned his lips. “You believe her team will become genins no matter the outcome.”

“You’ll face pressure from the council and Danzo if you fail this team,” Kakashi grimaced while Hiruzen leaned further back on his chair. The floors creaked from the pressure. “Both Sasuke and Naruto are valuable for different reasons, if war was to break out then both of them will be needed for the front-lines.” Dark smoke rose up in the air, it ruined the stale air. “Danzo, in particular, would find it as an excuse to recruit both of them. If he recruits either of them, the peace we have been enjoying in the past decade? It could be ruined.”

He rubbed his temple. An ache had begun to seep in, a seed from the mess that he had been given. “Politics should not have any place when it comes to this job.”

“Unfortunately, it does.”

This should be the end of their discussion; it seemed he was not getting his way in ensuring that these kids would pass on their own merit. The ache deepened, a throbbing pain now. In an ideal world, he could pass these genins with the knowledge that they understood the most important aspects of being a shinobi: teamwork. I will have to waste time in drilling it through their heads once I finish the test with them. The files, alone, told him that this was a disaster in the making.

Haruno had mediocre grades and was obsessed with Sasuke Uchiha as Iruka had highlighted on his notes. Sasuke was withdrawn and closed off from other people. And now the one who could get those two in order, was dealing with her own trauma. I should have passed one of the earlier teams to avoid this headache. He placed his hand on the doorknob, it felt heavier than before. A large boulder for him to turn around. Just like the mess of a team, he had been assigned.

“And Kakashi, I want you to give hints to Naruto about her father and…his relationship with Kushina,” Hiruzen’s voice stopped him from turning the heavy doorknob. It felt as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown at him. He swallowed and turned to meet the emotionless eyes of his leader. “I don’t want you to talk about Minato as a Hokage, talk to him as a person so she is aware that the Hokage and the person with the title is two different entities.” It wasn’t a request. It was an order. “I need her to understand Minato did not make this choice willingly, and I don’t want her to be shocked when she connects the dots on who her father was.”

He took a moment to consider how to respond to this…order. “It should not be my job to reveal her father in that kind of manner, Hokage.” His fingers gripped on the knob. “When she learns who her father is and when she becomes aware I knew this whole time that her father was the Fourth Hokage—my genin instructor. She will trust me even less and we are back in the same scenario of her not trusting authority figures.”

The words settled in the air, uncomfortable and heavy like a wet blanket. Hiruzen swallowed, it was loud and audible—nothing like his usual reactions. “Kakashi, with what happened with Mizuki and the truth he revealed, Naruto will not be coming to me anytime soon,” he confessed. “The girl desire space. Today when she came to hand in her genin photo, she did not call me: Old Man or Gramps.” His tone was regretful. “It was Hokage. Not once has Naruto ever called me by that title.”

The grip on the doorknob tightened, it trembled under the pressure. “And you wish to risk my future relationship with her because of that? Naruto will have a difficult time listening to my authority.” He paused and breathed in the smoky air. “Once she learns of my relationship with Minato-sensei, she will behave irrationally. When she asks me why I didn’t train her earlier or keep an eye on her? What do I tell her then? That I was too busy following your orders to even look her way?”

Hiruzen closed his eyes.

“You can lay the blame on me, right now: I need Naruto to be fine,” his voice was now of that of a broken, old man. It didn’t stir any emotions in him. Hiruzen let out a shaky breath. “I promised Kushina and Minato that I would take care of her. My role as a Hokage has made it difficult for me to do just that.” He controlled his voice. “I failed to protect her from her own teacher and what I want is for that girl is to get stronger and reach her full potential.”

Kakashi loosened his grip on the doorknob, turned his head and locked eyes on his mentor’s photo. He didn’t know Naruto personally. Was she like Minato-sensei? Was she like Kushina? He didn’t know. It would be unfair to make assumptions based on them. As a child, he had been told he resembled his father. His father had always said that his personality had been like his dead mother. Too pragmatic, his father would always say about his deceased mother. After his father committed seppuku, he had been pleased to be more like his mother than his father.

Now. He just simply wished to walk in the middle of them.

“I don’t know Naruto but she is also Kushina’s child: she will eventually get through this.”

Hiruzen grimaced.

“I’m not looking forward to seeing Kushina when I die.”

The talk with Naruto had rattled Satoru more than he cared to admit. At one point, he slipped up during training with Grandfather. Instead of disintegrating the dummy, the wooden walls had been destroyed. You lack focus, Satoru! Was what the old man had snarled with a tightened grip on his cane. He had been murderous; his cane had been gripped to the point that he was almost shaking at the possibility of being whipped. Limitless could be used to avoid the whack but Grandfather would call him a boy. Men did not avoid getting punished when they are wrong. Pointing out that he was a boy, that he hadn’t reached maturity, would just earn his irritation.

Thankfully, Grandfather had took in several deep breaths, told him with a detached tone that he was forgiven for this mishap. Next time, I’ll not be quick to forgive you for your mistake. His grandfather had whispered those words into his ears before telling him that he was free to go. He had maintained composure until he was in his room, sitting on his window bench with shaky legs. If Naruto hadn’t told him of what happened, he would have blamed her for making him lose his damn composure. He blamed Mizuki for daring to touch his friend in such a disgusting manner.

The door creaked open. A scent of flowers breezed in, soft footsteps followed soon after, and he knew just knew that his mother must have heard the cursed, furious whispers of his grandfather. The sunlight softened, a hint of the setting sun. He forced himself to turn around to meet the concern, green eyes of his sweet mother. In the presence of the setting sun, his mother looked thinner, much frailer than four years ago. Even now, his eyes could pick out the definition of his mother’s slim bones. Her eyes held a quiet understanding as she took a seat beside him.

“You had another dream, didn’t you?” his mother asked, her thin hands combing through his hair. It wasn’t really a question. It was a statement. Just like Father, she would know the pattern of his behaviour. Of when he was rattled and frazzled like a broken machine instead of a well-oiled machine. If he wished to gain his freedom from Grandfather, he had to be perfect. Going against the status quo before Jujutsu High? A stupid idea. Grandfather would take it away and he would be as caged as Naruto. Except his soulmate didn’t really have a choice while his choice was dangled like a sweet treat.

The birds sang a haunting melody, from the window’s reflection, he saw his mother’s growing concern. “Yeah, I talked to Naruto a few days ago.” Nothing else was needed to be said. Mother was emotional. If she heard what happened to his soulmate, to his best friend, she would break down. Satoru, your mother doesn’t need stress. Father had told him this when mother was out of earshot, his own face clouded with unspoken emotion at the time. Now. Now, he knew he was frightened for his mother.

The lady of the Gojo Clan was slowly deteriorating. The servants had whispered those words when they thought he was out of earshot, their voices had been filled with pity. Their eyes constantly searched him, there was so much sympathy in their eyes, and it made his legs shake. A part of him knew he could talk about it with Naruto, she could be comforting, but she never had a mother. She would not understand the knowledge of the impending death of his mother. It would not be today. Not tomorrow. But it would happen at some point.

“And what happened, my dear son?” She wrapped her thin arms around him, pulling him against her bony chest. It wasn’t the same flaming warmth from 8 years ago, it was a fading warmth, but he soaked it. Mother would leave him one day, he and Father would be stuck under the controlling thumb of Grandfather. He breathed in her flowery scent, eyes completely closed. Mother didn’t need to know; didn’t need to weep over what happened. His mother stroked his back with soft, gentle sweeps. “Satoru, I know it isn’t like you to lose control of your cursed technique. Tell me son, what happened with Naruto.”

Mother would push him to discuss it one way or the other. If Grandfather hadn’t decided to eat dinner with them for the past few days, she would have probed and poked during dinner. Father would have defended him, he knew Mother didn’t need heavy topics, but his sweet mother would smile so sweetly and state that they need to know.  I’m his mother and I deserve to know what is going on. If you wanted a doll, then why bother to push this marriage to your father? Father would shut up, his shoulders slumped while Mother would give him that gentle smile.

“Naruto,” his throat tightened like Grandfather had strangled him as his mind conjured her dead eyes. His mother continued her gentle sweeps. Soothing. The knot in his throat loosened. “She went through…” he couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. It sounded disgusting, something out of a newspaper than something that could happen in real life. He forced himself to spit out the word. “Her teacher assaulted her, Mother.”

Mother was dead silent. She stopped patting his back, it just laid limp against her ribs. The silence trembled with unspoken emotion, it stretched longer than he cared to admit.  He expected when he stared at his mother’s eyes for there to be grief, it was there, but there was unspoken anger and disgust. With the sunlight struck on his mother, she looked less like a woodland creature but a fallen angel. Such expressions were rare. He could count the number of times his mother displayed such expressions with a single hand. All of them included Grandfather.

“The worst thing a girl can feel is that she isn’t even safe in her own home,” his mother’s voice was cold, a glacier of ice, as her green eyes locked on the lone bird on the tree branch. “You will always have an eye over your shoulder. You feel so dirty and do you know what is even worst thing for a girl, Satoru?” He shook his head. His mother took a deep breath, a long pause, and pressed on. “It is the fact when you tell a person of what you went through, people will blame the girl for what happened.” His mother clicked her tongue. “No girl asks for it, but people refused to look at the culprit of the assault.”

Mother’s words always echoed the thoughts that Naruto had. If Mother and Naruto ever met, Satoru knew, they would get along better than his own mother get along with him. They were similar. Except mother was like a knife hidden in a silk scarf while his soulmate was a kunai thrown obviously to the whole world. Swallowing the lump, he nestled closer to his mother’s dimming warmth. To soak it in while he processed her cold, ruthless words.

You feel so dirty. Mother’s words echoed Naruto’s feelings of being dirty. It chilled his blood to know Mother knew what Naruto felt, the feeling that she needed to clean herself. In their shared dreams, the grass hadn’t become completely clean. Naruto had been silent, she got a hold of herself, but her eyes drowned in grief. His fingers wrapped around his mother’s shirt, trying to capture whatever love his mother had. For once, he wished he could give his mother’s love to Naruto. Wished they could meet.

Mother knew how to comfort. He didn’t know how to make Naruto feel better.

“I felt so helpless when I saw her, Mother,” he whispered the words against her shirt. It was safer to whisper against the cloth then the open air, where Grandfather could hear his confession. His throat tightened, the lump was growing larger to the point it felt like his airways were blocked. The next words came after a struggle. “Grandfather says I am going to become the strongest sorcerer in the world but…I didn’t feel strong. I felt so weak and I hated it. Hated that I couldn’t fix her problem.” He swallowed. “Is this how you feel with Father whenever he talks to Grandfather?”

For a moment, the cold fury in her eyes had faded, replaced with a sullen grief. She brushed her hand against his hair, playing with it like she did when he had been 7. Except everything had been nicer when he was 7.  At 7, he was unaware of how suffocating Grandfather could be. Grandmother had been there, baking cookies for him. Mother was stronger, healthier and willing to play catch with him. Now? All of it had faded in a blink of an eye.

“You noticed how your father acts after his talk with your grandfather.” Her fingers stilled, limpless like a marionette, while her voice carried no emotion. He knew if he tilted his head, his mother’s eyes lacked any emotion. Mother would never openly display her feelings towards Grandfather, though he witnessed her fingers’ grip on the knife. Sometimes, he thought his mother would fling the dinner knife at his grandfather.

It took him a good few seconds to respond to the chilling statement. “I’m older, Mother and I’m not blind about how much control Grandfather has over Father.” His eyes drifted to the family photo of the three of them. The only one Grandfather allowed because the outside world was too dangerous for him. “He controls everything because he still controls clan matters despite Father being the Head of the Clan.” Why? He wanted to ask but Mother would tell him that he was still too young to understand. Only Mother saw him as a child, Father and Grandfather didn’t see it.

It was evident from his mother was struggling to control herself, her perfect mask of serenity had shattered into pieces of glass. Bitterness seeped into her face, a twisted turn of her thin lips. “The situation with your father is different from your situation with Naruto.” She paused, allowing the words to linger. “Your father has always felt the need to act as a mediator for your grandfather since he was a child.” He blinked at the tightness in her voice, at the audible pain. “Before, he acted to mediate between your grandparents because your grandfather lacks empathy and now, he acts to be a mediator between me and your grandfather to ensure that you aren’t raised in the same household that he had been raised in.”

When his mother spoke those words with transparent grief, with eyes filled with bitterness, and her own frail body shaking, he had more questions than answers. More questions on soulmates. He wanted to know if his mother married his father because they were soulmates or because they were truly in love. If it was love, then why marry and be glued in this suffocating clan? Mother was slowly dying because of this clan, he was certain of it.

Curiosity encouraged him to vocalise the question that lingered in the shadow of his mind. “Mother, why did you choose to marry Father? I know Father made Grandfather arrange your marriage to him but…” he trailed off and considered his next words carefully. “But you didn’t have to marry him, right?” He pitched his voice low as his eyes flickered to the shadows underneath the gap of the door.

Mother smiled, this time with a mixture of love and bitterness. “No, I could have chosen to run off before our wedding and I…nearly did after my talk with your Grandfather. Your father does not know this but your Grandfather, he…” her voice trailed off, her eyes darkened with disgust. “He tried to buy me off and tell me he would give me a lot more money so that your father married a more respectable woman. Your father took the risk by saying our union would produce you. Your grandfather, in truth, did not believe it despite the fact my family has produced strong sorcerers in the past.”

“But you chose to go through with marrying Father.”

The grief in his mother’s face didn’t fade. “Because I would rather endure this suffocation with your father then to witness him marry a woman that your father approved,” there was a heavy weight in her voice. “I know if we met again and he married another woman, I would be put in a position that I felt…uncomfortable with but one your grandfather saw as fitting of my place.” The sunlight faded into oblivion. Mother exhaled.

The silence settled, pulsating with unspoken words. “Would it have been much worse than this?”

“I know my worth, Satoru and I know I would never accept being a mistress,” said his mother, looking straight at the family photo. “I know your father well enough to know that he would marry some poor woman but never give your grandfather, the heir he wanted.” Her lips curved into a bittersweet smile. “He would rather endure pain and have me then to have a child with a legal wife. If I had you as a mistress, your grandfather would deny me any right to see you.”

Grandfather would do it. His grandfather could be that cruel and that was why he never wanted to marry. If Grandfather died, he might choose to marry. Father would give his future wife freedom but when Grandfather was still alive? No, he didn’t want his future wife to deteriorate like his mother. He snuggled closer to his mother, soaking in her warmth.

“I don’t think I’ll ever marry or see Naruto but I don’t want her to ever meet Grandfather.”

There was a beat of silence, then his mother chuckled. “I don’t want her to meet him either.”

Naruto was not just his soulmate, she was his friend and someone who saw him as plain old Satoru. He wanted to keep her like that. Wanted her to keep that spark when she found it again. When it came to Mizuki, he couldn’t protect her. They were in either two different countries or two different worlds, that aspect he was still currently figuring out. But if she was in the same world as him, he would make sure that she never met Grandfather. This was something he could control.

He liked being in control.

Chapter Text

Most of her former classmates were in the classroom when Naruto slipped through the door. All the boys had picked their seats, right beside their friends, while most of the girls were crowding around the window. No doubt Sasuke was sitting there. She dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her new orange jacket. Same design. Same everything. The only difference that it wasn’t tainted with the memory of Mizuki’s dirty hands. None of her classmates had turned around to see her, she was glad. She didn’t want to talk about the way she graduated. Better for her not to remember it. She was moving forward, today was better than yesterday.

The skies were brighter to her, today and the birds didn’t sound so irritating when she woke up. Yesterday, they sounded like shrill screams but today it sounded like a beautiful melody. Who should she sit with? Hinata sat right between Kiba and Shino. It would be good to sit beside her but Kiba was too loud. Too confrontational at times. He would lean close to her, not to intimidate her but because it was just within his nature. She didn’t need that today. Shino? No physical touch but he had always been creepy to her with his love for bugs. Nope. It seemed like she would need to find another place to sit.

The door slid open. Someone bumped their shoulder against her own. Naruto controlled her facial expression, kept her facial muscle straight, as she took in Sakura dashing straight towards Sasuke like a girl on a mission. Nothing new. Hinata turned her head around, her pale lavender eyes widened, and the Hyuga Heiress slid her way out of the seat, muttering something to Kiba. The boy had turned his head around, his eyes growing large with shock. Probably thought that her failure meant she wouldn’t come. If she hadn’t got Mizuki to confess and utter her status, she would have failed.

“Naruto,” Hinata said when she was close to her. Her best friend had a tiny frown, concern lines on her forehead as loud chatter and squeals bounced throughout the classroom. “What are you doing here? I…” Her voice trailed off when her eyes took in the shiny Hitai-ate on her forehead, her lips curved into a smile filled with happiness, confusion and excitement. “You passed? But how? You said that you failed the Bunshin Jutsu.”

Naruto smiled. This time, it was sincere. “You know me, Hinata. You think I would let one stupid jutsu define me? I always find a way to get my way.” Did she regret how she did it? Yes. She should have been more careful but there was no point of her crying about it. No point in having another breakdown. One breakdown was enough for her. One too many if you asked her. Well, it had been two if she counted her dreams but dreams didn’t count. Satoru wasn’t real. He couldn’t hurt her. He didn’t see her as a bratty kid like the others.

There was a strange flicker in her friend’s eyes, a flicker of concern perhaps. But it faded with a quiet happiness. Her friend wrapped her arms around her, a warm hug but despite the warmth, Naruto found herself holding back the urge to stiffen. Hugs usually made her happy. Today, it didn’t bring the same feeling again. She would have to work through that. For her sake. For her best friend’s sake because Hinata would know something was up. With that, she returned the hug.

“I don’t know how you did it, Naruto,” her friend whispered, so soft that only she could hear. Her arms squeezed her and instead of it feeling like a normal warm bear hug, it felt like a snake. The urge to stiffen had overruled her desire to force herself to relax into a hug. The chatter died down in her ears, so muffled like someone placed an earmuff in her ears. “But I know when you put your mind to it, you always managed to surprise people.”

Hinata released her from the hug. She still had a smile on her lips, but her eyes studied her, searching for something. Naruto could guess why. Normally, she would boast about it. Today, she just didn’t want to be loud. Didn’t want their former classmates to look at her. They would question her but not in the gentle way Hinata would. Their voices would be heard throughout the village, their eyes would glow with some unspoken envy, and she just wanted this part of the day to be over. “You know me, Hinata...when I see an opening, I take advantage of it.”

“It’s one of the reasons why no one should mess with you,” her best friend acknowledged with a quiet laugh. “You always know how to turn a situation around to your advantage.”

It was true. She did know how to turn a situation around, knew how to make it an opportunity, but this time she needed to figure out how to turn what Mizuki had done into something positive. Learning the truth about her status? Well, it was a positive. Her hands slid into the pockets of her tracksuit pants. Soft lint brushed against her fingertips as her friend continued to search her. Naruto swallowed. Time for them to discuss something else. “You think Iruka-sensei will put us in the same team?”

This was the best question to ask because the hopeful smile on her friend’s face slipped, replaced with concern and fear. Her friend’s fingers began to poke, a common sign of her best friend’s nerves. Just like her, Hinata didn’t like change. Unlike her, the Hyuga Heiress always trembled when confronted with new people. A side effect from those assholes that bullied her eyes. Finally, her best friend swallowed. “I hope so, Naruto. If I’ve to be with anyone else, I—”

“—You will show them that you’re in charge,” she slid the narration into her friend before she would say something so self-doubting. Hinata smiled, bitterly, and Naruto placed her hands on her best friend’s arm. “Your father kept your place as the Hyuga Heiress, Hinata. Hanabi worships the ground you walk on and thinks you’re the best,” she smiled. “So you better show them that you’re this strong, independent girl that I know you are.”

Hinata closed her eyes, her shoulders shaking like she was holding back tears. “Naruto—”

“My best friend isn’t a weakling,” she reminded her. “I know you don’t believe me but remember that first day we met? When I saved you from those assholes?” Hinata nodded. There was a tremble in her bottom lip and Naruto looked away, her stomach clenched. This was becoming a bit more emotional than she cared to admit. “You were crying like a big crybaby but today? You came a long way. I mean it would be nice if you can hit those dicks but that wouldn’t make you Hinata. That makes you stronger than me in a way.”

The words lingered in the air, Hinata sniffed before hugging her once more. This time, she found herself relaxing into the hug again. Thankfully, there were no tears. Whoever her teammates were, they would be jerks and figure some ways to taunt her about her jacket. She patted her friend’s back in an awkward motion, till this day she didn’t know how to hug or comfort people properly. She didn’t know how long they were in this position nor did she care. As long as Hinata could keep a grip on herself, it didn’t matter.

When the Hyuga Heiress released her from the hug, Naruto allowed herself to look at the crowd of fangirls. A few days ago, she would have just marched over there and just took the stupid seat for herself. Not because she wanted to sit beside the bastard but because it was always fun to watch their face fell. Their cheeks reddened as they screamed at her for sitting beside their precious crush. I wouldn’t have taken this seat if one of you just took action was always her comment, but she didn’t want to hear their scream.

It was not worth it. Today would be the last day that all of them would be together in this large, suffocating class. All eyes would be on who sat beside Sasuke—the lucky girl in their eyes. Naruto rubbed her jaw.  If she sat right beside him, so many girls would just assume she had developed a sudden love for the ass. So he was out. The fake crush with Shikamaru just needed to run its course for just a little bit longer. After all, there was a chance she would be with the asshole. A small chance but a chance. She prayed to every deity in the world, it wouldn’t happen.

Sasuke was…brooding. He acted like he was better than her, sneering at her when she used to pick fights with him. It was why she took so much joy, smiling whenever he scowled and mumbled curses under his breath. She would miss it. His snarky comments, anyway. Naruto snorted and tilted her head back, a hearty laugh escaped her lips. “Y’know Hinata, I’m going to miss seeing Sasuke like this,” she confessed with a sly grin. “It never stops being funny whenever they flirt with him. He always looks at them like they’re idiots.”

Hinata shook her head. She intertwined their arms together, a gesture that used to symbolize closeness but she still felt distant. Felt like they were in two different worlds. “You act like it’ll be the last time they will do it,” her friend commented, and her words brought a pause. “They will always find time to go out of their way to flirt with him. Becoming genins won’t change them, Naruto. It’ll just make them more determine to go after him.”

A snort escaped her mouth. Dear God. She would definitely hate being in his team. Who cared if he was competent? The shrill screams, the constant fawning, and their heavily perfumed bodies always made her want to barf. She unlooped their arms with careful care and just stared at the swam of fangirls. The hearts in their eyes. Their flushed cheeks. All of that? For a boy who didn’t care one bit for them. Such strange creatures. “I don’t understand why they like an ass like him,” she admitted. “I’m trying to see it, Hinata but it just…seems weird to still chase after someone who clearly doesn’t want it.”

“They would say the same thing about your thing with Shikamaru,” her friend said in a quiet, thoughtful tone. Naruto grimaced. Her feelings towards the Nara heir was…neutral. He was the best option in this class. If Satoru was real, she would have chosen him. It felt easier with him. Everything was easier with him. Her best friend studied her for another moment before sighing. “I know the truth, Naruto but not everyone thinks like you. You always think with your head when it comes to these things, they think with their heart.”

She shrugged. “I guess that’s why they always cry like big babies whenever the ass rejects them,” she commented as one of the girl shoved another girl out of the seat. The shrill scream sliced through the chatter, but no one reacted. No one went to the girl’s defence. This was, after all, the same old dance in their year. “You think we’ll be as silly as them when we actually find someone we like.”  Naruto shoved her hands deeper into her pockets, fiddling with the soft lint like a cotton ball. “Because I ain’t making myself an idiot for some jerk who doesn’t look my way.”

Hinata faltered, her eyebrows knitted together. Great. It meant her best friend was going to say something that would push her to change her perspective. “I don’t think you can just…decide on who to love,” her voice became soft like a gentle breeze. “I think when you really like someone, you won’t get a choice on whether you look idiotic or not. Love makes people do silly things,” her best friend grimaced when another girl pulled on one of the girl’s ponytail. “I’m sure if they followed their heads, they would be embarrassed with how silly they act.” Her eyes became just a little bit peeve. “Right now, they don’t see how silly they are being but later? I think they are going to be horrified.”

“I really doubt it, Hinata.”

“You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t doubt it. You don’t really care about these things and if it wasn’t for the fact you can’t find a good excuse acceptable to Sasuke’s admirers, you wouldn’t feel the need to pretend to like Shikamaru in that way. I wish you didn’t feel the need to lie like this, Naruto.”

Naruto only grimaced. This was not the first time Hinata vocalised her concern about the fake crush. In the beginning, she understood but with each passing day, her best friend would frown. A loser liking a lazy ass was what the girls would say. Did it bother her? No. Did it bother Hinata? Yes. It was what caused her friend’s concern. She thought she didn’t deserve those nasty words but nasty words were better than shrill screams and the constant shoves from them. The ganging up? A pain in her ass.

“I’m going to phase it out and it isn’t like Shikamaru believes me,” she shook her head and shifted her attention towards Shikamaru. He just had a bored expression on his face, his lips twisted into a scowl of annoyance as another girl yanked a large chunk of hair from one of the girls pushing her. Loud noises irritated him. A well-known fact about him. “He figured it out within months of my genius plan. I don’t know why he goes along with it, but he made my life a lot easier.”

Her friend did not laugh at her observation or reprimand her. Instead, she stared at Shikamaru with unreadable eyes like she was aware of the hidden reason behind the lazy boy’s acceptance of act. “Maybe it’s because he finds it too troublesome for him to tell people that you’re faking it,” she said it like it was a well-known fact. It was.  A comfortable silence stretched a little bit further and then her friend added. “You know how lazy he can be.”

It was in his nature not to spill these things. She wouldn’t think too hard about it. Naruto fiddled with the lint once more, her eyes drifted to the empty seat between Shikamaru and Choji. It was the best place for her to witness the carriage disaster which was Sasuke’s fangirls. Their interactions alongside the chips would be perfect way to keep her mind busy. When her mind was busy, she would not need to think of what happened. Would not replay what happened. The mind, she came to understand in these past few days, was the most dangerous weapon.

The mind could poison the way she viewed the world. She refused to let it win.

“Lazy or not, I will need to sit beside him and carry through with my ruse,” she whispered to her friend. No one paid attention to them but there was always the off chance that someone would listen. After a beat of silence, “One more day isn’t going to hurt me, Hinata. I want this day to be stress-free and not annoying, this is going to be the best days of our lives.”  Life could only get better. It had to get better. She would lie to herself until she could convince herself.

Hinata didn’t say anything. No agreement nor disagreement, just a quiet silence like her words bothered her. Was it too cheerful? She always sounded like this. Except her friend’s lips tugged downwards like someone pulled the strings of her lip muscles. “It’s going to be one of the best days in our life,” she finally said in a quiet voice. “Naruto…” Hinata trailed off, her eyes searched her for a moment, and then a quick shake of her head. “Never mind. We should get to our seats before Iruka-sensei comes and scolds us for not being in our seats.”

That was not up for discussion. Their former teacher would scold them in front of everyone for not obeying protocol and she would rather not be flushed with embarrassment for being called out. So she took her place in between Choji and Shikamaru, ignoring the sudden silence that fell upon the classroom. She felt all their eyes staring at her, judging her for being in this classroom. If Satoru was here, he would tell her not to care about them. And she should not care. She was not going to care about them.

Let them think the worst of her. She worked hard to get here.

With a defiant tilt, Naruto glared at all of the cowards staring at her. If they had questions, they could ask. She had done what she could to get her spot as a genin. Not all of the dirty details had to be said but the way she thought of achieving her goal? No one, she decided with fervent desire, was going to take away the brains needed to achieve it. She turned her head away, only to blink when she met the bored eyes of Shikamaru. No words were spoken between them until he stated the obvious.

“You passed.” Two simple words but it broke through the tensed silence in the room. Shikamaru fixed his gaze on the Hitai-ate on her forehead like a puzzle. To him, it would be. He must be aware of the difficulty of getting a Hitai-ate after failing the Academy Exam. His mind was racing, she could see it from the way his hands came together. That annoying thinking position. The one he used to help her whenever she needed to find subtle ways to get her revenge against the cruel girls in their class.

Naruto kept her composure, sculpted like an ice figurine. “Looks like this isn’t going to be the last time you’ll see me, Sleepyhead.”  From in front of them, the fangirls scoffed at her ridiculous but sincere nickname for Shikamaru. If you like someone then you need to give him a romantic nickname, not that were the teachings of her female classmates. She had looked at them dead in the eyes, stating the most obvious fact. That it was stupid to give such cheesy nicknames for someone who didn’t return her feelings. Fake tears had been spilled while the girls sighed in agreement with her.

This, the girls had whispered with pain in their voice, was the pain of an unrequired love.

Shikamaru broke through her thoughts with his quiet, resigned sigh. He rested his head on the table, plopped against his arm as his eyes darted to Choji. The boy was in his own world, gobbling his chips like it was his last meal. “Still doing this?” She knew he was referring to the fake crush, so she nodded. He closed his eyes. “I thought today will be the day you’ll realise that loving me will be too…troublesome.”

The hidden meaning wasn’t lost on her. She fluttered her eyelashes, completely aware of the heated eyes on her. “Oh Sleepyhead, why would I stop loving you when today is the last day I can see you?” He didn’t smile at her words, just completely resigned to her fake words of love. He didn’t even pretend to look surprise by her fake sugary words.  She pressed on and forced herself to scoot closer to him, to ignore the shudder of her spine. It felt like ants were crawling on her skin. “I just don’t want to be separated from you, Sleepyhead.” Fake tears erupted from her eyes, she hated how much effort she needed to play this ruse. “For all I know, you and I won’t be in the same team. Maybe, I’ll be put in a team with Sasuke and I would just hate for you to think I love him more than you.”

Shikamaru didn’t react but the quiet groan escaping from his lips, a sign he had gotten the hidden message. “Great, I’ll finally get some peace and quiet.”  She slumped her shoulders but kept her body close to him. The desire to flinch was there but she reigned it in. After all, Ino was still staring at her. That stupid glint. Out of all the girls in their year, Ino never seemed to truly buy her bullshit. But the girl never called her out for it. It was an unspoken agreement between them. This was the Yamanaka’s heiress way of repayment for the juicy gossip about Ami’s personal life.

“The team outcome will determine when I can stop acting,” she whispered the truth into his ear as more eyes watched them. To his credit, Shikamaru kept his lazy expression. His free hand began to tap a slow tempo. “If I’m stuck with Sakura or any of the other fangirls and I’ve Sasuke then I’m not exactly out of the woods.” She smiled; it was a struggle but it had to be done. “If anyone should be annoyed with this stupid act, it should be me. I’m the one who has to act ridiculous in order to sell this stupid act. You just need to listen to this bullshit.”

Shikamaru sighed, his finger still tapped with slow, deliberate beats like a calculated beat then a free-rhythm beat. “The dramatics is getting too much,” he complained under his breath. “And if you’re paired with any fangirl, they are going to connect the dots that you don’t seek me out. You don’t even try to act like a cute, flustered girl around me, just a pain in my ass.” She stared at him, unbothered by his comment. He grunted and mumbled under his breath. “Choji is starting to notice the truth, Naruto and if Kiba noticed it? You’ll never hear the end of it from him.”

To the outside world, she smiled but inside? She scowled. Kiba would cause a problem if he knew she deliberately picked Shikamaru as the target of her fake affection. The thought of her lie being exposed was one that made her stomach coiled. The acid in her stomach bubbled, just ready to launch out of her throat. Lowering her voice, she stared at the blank blackboard. “Fine, I’ll start stalking you after missions to really sell this stupid story if I do end up with Sasuke and a fangirl.” He twitched, clearly displeased. “Don’t underestimate what I’ll do to sell this lie.”

“Why did you even have to pick me?”

“Because the type of guy I would like doesn’t exist in this village and you were the safest option,” she admitted in a soft voice. Shikamaru blinked and Naruto allowed her smile to slip once everyone looked away from them. This whole thing felt more like a dragged weight than it needed to be. She looked to the bright blue skies. “I want a boy who is fun to be around, really smart but he has enough energy to keep up with me.” Naruto hummed. “He needs to see me as his equal. Of course since he doesn't exist, I pick the guy who won't make a big deal about the whole thing.”

Shikamaru snorted. “No one in the village can match that requirement, you might need to go out of Konoha and search another village for someone that impossible.” It wasn’t said in a cruel tone or a mocking one. Just bluntly. She laughed. He wasn’t wrong. A boy like that? He would never exist, but she could dream. She would never settle for anything less. So, if a boy like that didn’t exist? Then it was fine. Better to have ridiculously high standards then to end up with someone that would hurt her.

It allowed her to have control and what she needed was to have control.

“It’s better to have high standards then to be disappointed with what you get,” she observed, shrugging her shoulders. Her eyes focused on the chest-fallen expression on Sakura’s face when Sasuke deliberately ignored her small talk. Shikamaru eyed her and she began to traced the caved lines on the wooden table. Her own voice was still soft. “You see Sakura? Ino? And all the other fangirls? They choose Sasuke based on their heart. The guy you think doesn’t exist? He will probably be the one that suits me best and the one who doesn’t constantly complain like you.”

Shikamaru made a face. “You sound like a romantic.”

“Or maybe I’m throwing you off your game and my ideal man is nothing but a lie.”

He paused.

“It would be like you to lie about it as well."

Chapter Text

Sasuke and Sakura would never be her first choice for teammates. Too loud and too haughty were the best way to describe them respectively. One teammate had never treated her badly, she had always been quiet whenever the other girls bullied her. Just like a sheep. The other teammate wasn’t a sheep but he wasn’t a social butterfly either. He wasn’t a wolf either. He only attacked when she started their fights, he never once sought her out. So maybe she should be a bit kinder in her assessment of him. Between him and Sakura, she guessed she would prefer him. Sasuke, afterall, did train. In the evenings, she had seen him throw shurikens and kunais at the training dummy until he passed out. Such dedication, she would admit with a scowl, required some respect.

It didn’t mean she was going to out of her way to seek him. That was Sakura’s job. Her female teammate had walked out of their classroom with heart in her eyes and a cocky smile, too smug about being placed in Sasuke’s team. She had rubbed it in Ino’s face, in all the fangirl’s faces as they had glared at her with envy. Not a single one of them spared a glance at her. They didn’t even curse her for taking their spot, they were far too busy swearing at Sakura for rubbing it in their faces. Hinata had frowned, her hands had steadied her and she knew her best friend wanted to comfort her. She didn’t need it. Not comfort for this.

The team placements were temporary, when she become a chunin was when she would be free from this cursed placement. She could endure the ringing ears, the pig-like squeals, and the constant dreamy sighs until she became a chunin. Six months, give or take, because that was how often the chunin exams took place. The Hokage always left the village during the chunin exams, he said it was because their genins had reached the final stages. She remembered sitting on the chair and asking in a soft voice to go with him. To witness this final stage. He refused. Too young was his response. Too soon would be his response if she tried to charm him into letting her do the exams, this year.

She just didn’t want to be in the same team as Sakura. She was going to barf with all of her teammate’s horrible attempts in flirting, the clinginess towards Sasuke. It was why she waited just a little bit longer to leave the classroom, she just did not want to snicker at her attempts. Attempts because it wouldn’t be a one-time thing. No, her teammate was as persistent as her old orange tracksuit jacket. Until Mizuki ruined it with his filthy hands, her jacket hadn’t become faded at one point. Still the same orange shade that reminded her of the early sunrise in Konoha.

Sunrise meant new beginnings and her jacket would always symbolize her new beginnings. Sunrises meant there were countless possibilities, and her jacket represented because she had endless possibilities. Being a jinchuuriki didn’t change it. She was still going to be Hokage, but she could work in ANBU. Could work in torture and interrogation. She could even be a spy. Her status wouldn’t change it. She refused to let it change her future. Only she decided her future.

When she finally made her way to the grounds in front of the Academy, hands stuffed into her pocket, she caught sight of Sakura. The girl stood alone in the grounds, her head scanning the grounds with kunai-sharp eyes. Looking for Sasuke, no doubt. He would never be here. Too bright for him. The skies were painted in a calm shade of blue, the white clouds rolled around like excited children, and their male teammate wouldn’t stand looking at it. Ever since his clan had been killed, the boy went for dark rooms. She would know. Hinata and her had once caught him leaving one of the darker classrooms, hands gripping a half-eaten riceball and sunken eyes.

He had looked like a kicked kitten and even she knew better than to pick a fight with him when he looked so pathetic.

“Where would Sasuke-kun go?” Sakura asked, not to her but to herself. Her teammate hadn’t turned around, she was still squinting her eyes like squinting would allow her to see Sasuke. Like Sasuke was just some tiny ant that she could miss. She lowered her head. “I thought since we were in the same group, we would eat together.” Again, her teammate muttered those words without any awareness of her surroundings. It didn’t change the fact that the words sounded like a sweet lie.

If it was about the same group, Sakura would’ve included her. She was not bitter. Bitterness required her to have a desire to be best friends with this girl, she didn’t want to be friends with someone that wouldn’t push themselves to their limit. Who didn’t want something better for themselves. Hinata always wanted to be better, she wanted to prove to her father that she was the best candidate. Wanted to prove to her grandfather that she was even more talented than Hanabi. Sakura? She never once heard her wish to be a better kunoichi.

“He left while you were gloating to the other girls about being in his team,” Sakura spun around and her pale cheeks pinked, a sudden realisation that she hadn’t been alone when she mumbled her sorry excuse of wanting to eat together. Naruto stared at the green leaves, the sunlight struck it in the right angle, turning them almost transparent. “It doesn’t seem like he’s in the mood of being a people-person if you asked me. He seems more ready to run with his tail between his legs.”

Sakura’s cheeks darkened even more, her brain almost short-circuited and then rebooted. “T-That’s not true. I wasn’t gloating! I was just—” her words faltered as she took in her expression. The flustered look was soon replaced with an ugly scowl. Her hands once laid limp against her waist was now folded against her chest. People did that whenever they were defensive. Y’know if you act flustered, it means I’m right was what Satoru would say with his annoying, charming smile. He would have ripped Sakura apart for lying badly. Not lying. Just lying badly. “What do you know, Naruto? Sasuke-kun wouldn’t run away from me.”

Wouldn’t he? If she had girls constantly squealing, constantly ignoring personal boundaries, and constantly giggling at her every action, she would run. Even now, she wanted to run. The loudness of her voice just grated her ears. Shrugging, Naruto corrected. “I didn’t say he was running from you—” she paused and listened to the sweet songs of the birds. Yes, today was better than yesterday. “—I said he isn’t in the mood to be a people-person. That means he doesn't want to be around you or anyone else.”

He wasn’t like her. He wasn’t like Satoru either—if Satoru was real. The boy in her dreams was caged inside a beautiful clan compound, he had so many toys that her eyes would always hurt from the variety of bright colours. But he didn’t have any friends outside of her. He wanted friends. She could tell. Satoru liked playing games, not just any games but the one that needed people. More fun was his excuse but it was loneliness. She loved playing ninja because laughter was shared, and conversations were made. He wanted friends but couldn’t make any outside of her. It’s because I’m too strong and they are jealous of me would always be his excuse.

You are an ass is what you are was what she would always say whenever he used that bullshit of an excuse. Compared to four years ago, he was better. Less of a jerk. Kinder. More understanding. But then he would always say some cocky words that made her want to throttle him and demand whether his mother taught him any common sense.

“Whatever,” Sakura crossed her arms, she blew a strand of her hair. Just the action alone made it clear that it wasn’t whatever. If it was whatever, she wouldn’t have such a huge reaction. She turned her head away from her. “Like you’d even understand Sasuke-kun, Naruto.” She did understand the jerk. You didn’t just spend years challenging someone into a fight and not understand them. Their mouths might hurl insults but their fist? It did all the talking for them.

Besides, she had eyes and could definitely notice when someone wanted to be left alone.

With a heavy sigh, Naruto clicked her heels together and began to walk further away from her teammate. “Whatever you say, Sakura,” she kept her back turned away from her teammate as her lips curled into a smile. She couldn’t help it. At this point, her teammate was just fixed in her denial. She exhaled and inspected the tree bark, noting the deep lines of the ring. “I really hope you’re good with waiting, Sakura because it seems like you’re going to be waiting a long time for Sasuke to become a people person.”

It should have been the end of their pointless discussion but leave it to Sakura to be in denial about the truth. To be fair, all of the fangirls were in denial when it came to Sasuke, the sky could be red and they would say pink as long as it fit their perfect image. “Just because your grades are better, it doesn't mean you’re smart,” Sakura declared. Her voice rattled the birds but Naruto didn’t react. “It isn’t like Sasuke-kun cares about you either and your own crush? He abandoned you as well! Shikamaru isn’t having lunch with you either.”

Shikamaru might be her fake crush but no way in hell was she going to pretend to cry over him. Naruto sighed, rolled her shoulders back and said with her driest tone. “True but he’s having lunch with his team,” she pressed her hands against the hard tree’s trunk, closing her eyes for a moment to breath in the fresh, crisp air. “And I ate lunch with him plenty of times so what difference does one lunch make? It isn’t like my worth depends on whether or not I eat lunch with him.” She wrinkled her nose. “Besides, I think he misses me more when I’m not there.”

There was a beat of silence. The air became heated, so heated, that it felt like it almost boiled with rage. Her back was turned but she heard Sakura’s teeth grinding together like a badly tuned music instrument. “Yeah. Right!” Sakura spat the words out. The glare of her eyes nipped her in the back but Naruto didn’t react. “Keep lying to yourself, Naruto. No one wants to be around you.”

You really can’t accept the truth about your precious Sasuke? A few days ago, she would have been jealous of the attention. There was no real difference between them except ninjutsu. He was better than her, his chakra levels were probably less than hers. He had so many people defending her. But after Mizuki? What was the point of it? She tried to do things her way and it backfired. Naruto exhaled; she rubbed her aching temple before taking another step forward.

“That’s funny,” she kept her tone light and easy-going as she forced her lips to curve into a smile. “I’ve a friend that is willing to be there for me. Can the same be said for you?” She cocked her head to the side and delivered the lowest blow she could think of. The cruelest one that would break her teammate. “One could even say you’re desperate to be with Sasuke because no one can stand being around you, Sakura.” She sighed, mockingly. “You’re the one standing here, looking for a guy who ditched everyone when he had the chance. I’m on my way to eat lunch because I can handle being alone, can you say the same thing?”

Silence settled between them. The lack of answer told her that Sakura couldn’t even make a simple comeback to that simple question. Her last line was a lie. She didn’t enjoy being alone. For a few days, her mind kept replaying the scene of what happened with Mizuki. It was the lack of voices in her apartment that brought out the replay. When the mind was left alone, it wandered to dangerous territories. Territories that would make her friends upset because they wanted what was best for her. Even Satoru with all his manners, with how imaginary he was, he hated what happened in their dreams.

She knew one day that she might stop dreaming of him because imaginary people always leave. When that day happened, she had to learn how to stand on her own two feet and not rely on him. He could only do so much. In the daylight, he didn’t exist. He couldn’t whisper in her ears to not care about people. She was trying not to care but sometimes, her thoughts wondered. Sometimes, her mind would whisper cruel words to break her shackles of control.

In order to move forward, she would need to find a good distraction from her dark thoughts.

It had been pure coincidence the first classroom door she opened was the same classroom that Sasuke had chosen to eat his lunch. He never ate in the classrooms filled with sunlight. Too bright for his pasty skin was her reasoning but she supposed he was like her. This was where everything had begun for them. Their very first steps into becoming shinobis. On that day, parents had come in with smiles on their faces. For some kids, their siblings had come. At that time, Hanabi had been a toddler crying for her sister while Sasuke’s brother had been there with his impassive face. Sasuke, she remembered, had a shy smile. He hadn’t been annoying. Not at first. He had been just another kid with a quiet smile, unwilling to meet her eyes at the time. She hadn’t hated him then. She would even dare to say, she had been curious about him.

Then everything changed after their very first test. His grades had been perfect, too perfect to her liking. Kids began to fawn over him and then the quiet smile faded, his eyes became even more annoyingly confident. She hated him for it. It was only him; all the other kids weren’t fawn over like him. Not Shikamaru. Not Ino. Not Hinata. Only Sasuke. His grades were great, she would admit with scowl, but he had been so painfully quiet. When she looked back at the quietness, it was shyness. Now? Now, it was just a quiet desire to be alone. Even now his eyes stared at her, dismissive and a quiet demand for her to leave him alone. Such arrogance brought a sick twist to her lips. Now she really didn’t want to leave.

“Hold your horses, Sasuke,” she raised her hands in mock surrender as those dark eyes narrowed at her. The silent demand was never going to be accepted by her, not when her desire to not listen to her dark thoughts outweighed his plea. “I didn’t come here to challenge you for a fight. Believe it or not: I came here without knowing you would be here.” The sunlight softened, no longer a glare but more like a mother’s warm stare. She shrugged and gestured to the bright windows. “This isn’t exactly your type of area. I didn’t think vampires like sunlight.”

The joke didn’t land, not that she expected for the joke to land. Sasuke could never take a joke; he was way too serious for those things. The day he laughed would be the day she would change her name. His eyes just squinted, his lips curled into an ugly scowl as his gripped on the rice ball tightened. It crumbled just a bit. “What do you want, Uzumaki?” She would give him credit, his tone didn’t give way to annoyance. Just pure flatness like she wasn’t worth the effort to bring out annoyance.

Fine by her. She would rather he displayed his annoyance to Sakura than her. Flatness meant some form of respect from him, annoyance just meant she was being a pain in his ass.

“From you? Nothing. There’s no point of me challenging you to a fight before we meet our jounin instructor,” Naruto’s voice was barely a tired whisper. She took a seat far away from him on the other side of the room, the brighter side. When light graced her skin, it felt like she was basking in the warmth of nature’s embrace. She snorted. “I ain’t dumb enough to hear Sakura whine about how I bruised your pale ass or have our jounin instructor think the worst of me. So count yourself lucky—your only pain in the ass will be Sakura and her demands for dates.”

No obvious response. There was a more subtle response in the way his fingers flexed, the subtle cold sweat dribbling down his forehead and the slight tilt of his upper lip. His tell-sign of annoyance. Naruto would know, she had spent so many years trying to attack him that she found ways to observe his tell-signs. A fangirl would say she had a crush but anyone who knew her, knew she always observed before ruthlessly attacking someone with kunais. That was how one wins a fight. Finally, Sasuke responded. “Not my problem.”

Naruto snorted and looked at the beautiful blue birds sitting on the tree branch. They were so free, not shackled by rules, by duties or even stupid teammates that were too stubborn to accept the truth. “We’re going to be in a team together which means she’ll have plenty of chances to cling to you,” she said sweetly, taking wicked delight when Sasuke’s grip on the rice ball faltered for a second. Ha. He did give a shit about the situation. “Oh Sasuke-kun, please go on a date with me? Please marry me and I’ve your babies.” Was the whine an exaggeration? Nope. She was probably under exaggeration the whole thing.

The shadows shifted till it covered half of Sasuke’s face, masking his eyes from her. He tightened his grip on the rice ball, his jaws became just a little bit tensed. Ah, she hit a sour point just like she anticipated. Fangirls always brought out this reaction from him. “Be happy she isn’t asking you out,” he sighed and looked up at the dark ceiling. “You don’t have to deal with it.” That was a first. He was actually vocalizing his annoyance then being an emotionless stick.

“No but my poor ears are going to suffer from it,” she said dryly with a loud laugh. He scowled. Too bad. If she was going to spend who knew how many months or years in this team, she was going to milk in his misery. An exchange for the pain her eyes were going to endure at the girl’s pathetic attempts to get a date. “I’ve been hoping not to get stuck with you and a potential fangirls for that reason. I will need your rich ass to pay for the damage I’m going to endure in this team: I’ll take it in cash.” No response and she sighed. “Look: you and me are going to be suffering this together so let’s just work together to make it bearable.” Not fun. Bearable.

“Right because you’re the one suffering from harassment.” The rice grain tumbled down to the ground. His flat voice bounced off the walls, rattling the chalk on the blackboard.

She paused and considered his words for a moment. If he said it a couple of days ago, before Mizuki, she would have taunted him. Now, her whole body shuddered at the word—harassment. Naruto swallowed. “You win—you’ve it worse,” she ignored the way his whole body freeze at her comment. Better not to make it a big deal. “It would probably be a good idea if I act as your bodyguard, y’know so you feel just a little bit comfortable. Don’t wanna have you reliving a nightmare or something.”

Silence. Then, a snort, “Like you can get them to stop.”

“I would offer to pretend to be in love with you or be your girlfriend but I don’t go for guys like you,” she admitted with a casual shrug. Her voice remained low and thoughtful as her eyes took in the soft glow of the sunlight. “It’ll also look weird if I go from liking Shikamaru to being hopelessly in love with you.” He grunted and she cradled her legs closer to her chest. “And also I think Sakura will just challenge me to a fight if I did that. I don’t think our instructor will be happy with me if I break her nose or send her to the hospital.”

Sasuke just gave her an unimpressed look. “Don’t bother with the dramatics. Nara tolerates it, I’ll stab you with a kunai.”

“I’ll have you know that between me, Ino, Sakura and all the other fangirls—I’m the best option,” she declared with a casual shrug. The birds sang in the background and from a distance, she heard the loud footsteps of their fellow students. It seemed like lunchtime was about to end. In a couple of minutes, they would meet their instructor. His snort became louder, almost disbelieving. “C’mon I never pestered Shikamaru for a date during lunchtime and you’ve to admit that I don’t cling to him like a girl who never seen a boy before.” She nodded. “And I don’t whine in his ear about rejecting me. I just get up and try again.”

Sasuke scoffed and took one large bite of his rice ball before giving her a bored look. “That’s because you don’t like Nara and anyone with a pair of eyes can see that.”

What was the point of her denying it? It wasn’t like the boy was going to tattle about her fake crush, he was too indifferent to do it. So she laughed and stretched her leg out. “Shikamaru is a great guy, probably a better catch than you—I mean at least he can take a joke,” he didn’t even react to her bait and she puffed her cheeks at him. She thought she would get him to even roll his eyes at her. “And he’s intelligent, he’s just lazy.” Sasuke just stared at her, clearly he thought that she was being too kind in her description. “Point is that he is more of my type than you. You’ve a stick up your ass and I like my guys to give me some form of reaction.”

Sasuke took a long, deliberate bite of his rice ball. No acknowledgment that her words snuck its way into his thick skin, it really wasn’t fun to tease him. “Good,” he curved his lips into a smirk. “I would rather have you punch me than be your type.” If it had been anyone but him, she would have scowled and hurled some cut-throat comment. This was Sasuke. If she wanted his attention, she would need to get her head checked by a medic-nin because he was the worst kind of guy for her to date. He didn’t care. She wanted a guy, who gave a shit about her.

Only girls with loving parents that doted on them would want a guy, who would barely pay attention to them.

“Keep telling yourself that, Sasuke,” she declared as the school bell rang. A signal for them to go back to class. She offered him a cheeky smile. “Between me and your fangirls, you should wish to be my type of guy because I know better than to think love will magically make you change. Honestly, I think it’s why your fangirls increased after your clan was murdered.” The moment she said it, she regrated it. The air went from a subtle warmth to ice. The shadows became darker, it shifted further in. Naruto grimaced. Her stomach clenched. Right. It was a sore topic. “I, uh, I didn’t mean to bring it up. It just came out without thinking. I just—” she really didn’t know how to explain herself.

He just remained silent. The rice ball crashed to the ground, spilling the red juices onto the wooden ground. Blood. It looked like blood. Her ears felt wet. It shouldn’t be wet. They were inside a classroom. Except her ears had been wet when Mizuki had been executed. She took a deep breath, shoving the memories aside. Don’t think about it was her mantra. Today was better than yesterday. Tomorrow would be better than today. As long as she was alive, everyday was going to get better.

“You act like you get it.” He didn’t spare her a glance as he stood up from his spot. The boy dusted the rice grains off of his pants, his voice completely bland and unfeeling. She waited for him to hurl some insult for her thoughtless words. It would come. Their classmates would get upset with her for being so thoughtless with her words. It just spilled.  “But I also don’t get how you feel either.” She blinked and he looked to the window. “Mother used to…” he trailed off and shook his head. “Never mind.”

She didn’t push him to elaborate. There was no need too because it was his business. He had his way of handling things just like she handled it. He relived the past while she focused on the future.

“I never really talked to her in person,” Naruto said, tugging on the collar of her jacket. “But the times I did see her, she looks like she gave a damn.” She took a deep breath and looked down at her hand. What did normal people do when they did this stuff? Right, the Hokage once comforted his grandson by sharing a memory. She did have one memory of his mother, a memory that was imprinted in her mind. “She gave me money once when I was begging for money, it was enough for me to buy ramen.” Her lips curled. “It was the first time my stomach was full instead of rumbling like some monster.”

She turned around and pretended not to see him shake. He deserved that much from her.

Chapter Text

Their genin instructor, as Iruka-sensei had announced, was called Kakashi Hatake. He was a man with little sense of time management as Naruto came to realise when they waited for him for a whole three hours. Three hours of her listening to Sakura’s sad attempts to get Sasuke to talk to her. She tried engaging with her, an attempt to loosen the burden on Sasuke, but her bitchy comment from earlier had made their teammate unwilling to talk to her. Fair enough. She didn’t like her either. If their male teammate hadn’t mentioned harassment, she would have watched this trainwreck with a smile and a snicker. But after what happened with Mizuki, she was just a little bit more sympathetic to him. If it wasn’t for the fact Sakura would be suspicious about her sudden shift in feelings, she would have loudly declared to be in love with him to get this stupid mess under control.

The sad attempt of flirting only ended when their instructor came in. He had strolled into the classroom without a care in the world. His grey hair completely sticking out, his lazy lone eye studied them for a long moment. For a moment, one wild moment, Naruto thought of how much their genin instructor resembled Satoru. Only older. They had similar hair, the same casualness but Satoru wasn’t lazy. He had just as much as energy as her. This guy? He looked like he just tumbled out of the bed. When he finally finished studying them, he told them point blank that he hated them. That alone made her have a little bit of respect. No hiding behind some sugary sweet words, nothing to contradict the subtle annoyance in his eyes.

Sasuke twitched, clearly displeased with the bluntness, while Sakura just stared at him—for once, speechless. Kakashi turned his body around and pointed to the roof, a clear signal for them to follow him. She hopped off her desk, plastered on her fakest smile, and slid her hands into the pocket of her orange jacket. Compared to all the other instructors she had seen come to pick up their teams, she preferred this guy. Hinata’s instructor was pretty but looked so haughty. Shikamaru’s instructor was the old man’s kid, she didn’t want anything to do with the old man and his kids. His grandson? Well, he was cute and naïve, completely the opposite of his grandfather. A safe option if you asked her.

The three of them didn’t utter a word as they made their way through the roof. Occasionally, Sasuke shuffled closer to the front of the group. A failed attempt to shake Sakura off him. Like always, the pink-haired girl wilted but her eyes flared with more determination. Naruto allowed her to move further in front, it would be a pain to pull her back at this time. The staircase wasn’t all that wide, one wrong move and they would be crashing down to the floor. She sympathized with Sasuke but not to the point of risking her head for him.

Sasuke pushed the door open. A cold breeze swept across them, cutting her to the bone. Naruto tugged on her jacket before taking a seat on the middle of the stairs, right in front of Kakashi. For the sake of her male teammate, she would sacrifice herself and be his guard against his fangirl. If she ruined her ears, she was going to get the ass to pay for her doctor’s fees. Sakura twitched but didn’t push her out of the way. As long as she wanted Kakashi to think the best of her, Sakura would control herself. Sasuke gave her a curt nod, a subtle relaxation of his shoulder, and Naruto knew it was the closest she would ever get of a vocalised thank you.

Kakashi didn’t utter a word. There was only a long, heavy silence stretched before them as his lone eye studied them. No emotions in them. Not the typical shinobi reaction but an ANBU reaction. After what happened with Mizuki, she noticed the difference between normal shinobi and them. Normal shinobi, still, showed emotions but ANBU? They hid their emotions well. Hinata’s instructor lacked that capability while Asuma had never hidden his feelings well. Was he assigned to keep an eye on her? Did the Hokage have so little faith in her? She wasn’t stupid.

She knew better than to run.

“Alright, introductions. Let’s get this over with,” Kakashi drawled. He leaned further against the rails; his voice was completely callus and light-hearted. He folded his arms against his chest and looked at the three of them with some expectations. Expectations that didn’t make much sense if you asked her. The adult sighed and repeated himself. “Are you three going to introduce yourselves or not?”

Naruto shifted in her seat. “Why should we go first? We know each other but we don’t know anything about you except for your name: Kakashi-sensei.” Both her teammates nodded. They looked at their instructor, their instructor just kept a blank expression. His lone eye didn’t reveal any emotions. His own posture hadn’t changed one bit to reveal his emotions. If he was in the ANBU, it was expected. When she became a genin, Owl hadn’t cheered for her. Just gave her a cold, clipped congratulations.

“You have got an answer for everything, don’t you?” Kakashi didn’t sound annoyed nor amused. It was just pure cold fact.

Of course, she did. It was what made her, annoying as Satoru would always say because she never just let him get away with his own bullshit excuses. She smiled. “I don’t have to accept everything just because you’re my instructor, do I?”  There was only silence as everyone processed her words. The man stared down at her, unreadable behind his mask. So different from Satoru. The boy, in her dreams, never wore anything to cover himself. He expressed himself while she doubted that this man knew how to express himself.

For the first time since their argument, Sakura nudged her and hissed. “Are you insane? That’s the point of him being our genin instructor, Uzumaki.” Green eyes darted to their blank-faced instructor before she prattled on. “He isn’t Iruka-sensei, Uzumaki! You can’t get away with being rude to him especially when he doesn’t know anything about you! And since we’re stuck together, he’s going to lump me with you! For once, don’t be selfish!”

Kakashi chuckled, a dark but unamused laugh. Her teammate stopped talking, the three of them straightened their spine as that lone eye seized them up. “Since you seem determine to run this show, Blondie…why don’t you give the introduction of your teammates to me? And I’ll have them judge if you’re correct.” They jerked their heads at him. He stroked his chin. “I’m curious to see how much you think you know your teammates and how much they know about you.”

She curved her lips into a smile while Sakura paled, her whole body trembling, and Sasuke closed his eyes. An irritated sigh. No doubt, he saw this whole thing as a waste of time. “I’ll take that challenge, Kakashi-sensei but I promise you that those two will be wrong about me while I’m right about them.” Both her teammates looked unimpressed and offended while the winds laughed, knowing just like her that only two people really knew her. Hinata and Satoru. Both of whom weren’t here or rather one wasn’t here while the other was a figment of her imagination.

“The girl attempting to be the teacher’s pet is Haruno Sakura,” Naruto said, gesturing to the pink-haired girl on her left. Her teammate pinkened and spluttered at her nickname but Naruto moved past it. No point of apologising when it was true. “She loves to read books, particularly those cheesy romance books about soulmates and true love,” she gagged while her teammate looked modified for this secret being spilt. “She hates it when someone insults Mr. Silent over there or when someone tells her that she is wrong—”

“—When have I ever been wrong!”

Kakashi nodded and looked at her. “An astute observation.”

Naruto grinned. “I’m not done,” she leaned further back and soaked the cool breeze. “Her current dream is to get Sasuke over there to marry her so she could have his kids, which is weird because don’t take this the wrong way Sasuke but I don’t think he swings that way.” This time, Sasuke was the one that choked while Sakura stared at her, horrified and hands balled into a fist. The air crackled but she shrugged. “I mean something has to be up when so many girls confess their love for him but we’re 12, so maybe Sasuke isn’t into that stuff.” She smiled innocently. “What do you think I meant?”

“You love to cause chaos,” Kakashi observed. His lone eye focused on the balled fist of Sakura before drifting to the twitching form of Sasuke. There was faint amusement in his tone, a surprise since anyone else would have reprimanded her for the comment. Good. It seemed like she could get away with stating facts. “And tell me about…Mr. Silent? Clearly, you know your teammate if you knew what triggered her.”

She considered it. There were some things she knew about Sasuke: the Uchiha Massacre being one of them but even she knew better than to bring it up. When they sat together in that classroom, she saw her teammate was still hurting about his family. “Mr. Silent is Uchiha Sasuke and he was the top of our class but he doesn’t like talking so good luck getting him to tell you his likes or dislikes.” She continued before Sakura could interject. “I guess he likes training because you’ll always find him training…if you know where to look. I can tell you his dislike but you’re going to get front-row seats of his dislike so prepare some dango for the trainwreck.”

The birds croaked in the background while Sakura narrowed her eyes. A sharp glint. “Are you implying Sasuke dislikes me?”

“Well, he ain’t in love with you either.” Naruto said, deadpan. “I mean, if I pulled the same shit with Shikamaru, he’d just roll his eyes and deal with it. But Sasuke? He’s literally trying to walk away from you—kind of screams ‘not interested,’ doesn’t it?” She said the last words slowly like she was explaining something painfully obvious and her teammate clenched her jaw. That was what she wanted. So easy for her to rile up her teammate.

Kakashi cleared his throat. Just like the wind, Sakura lowered her hand and their mentor darted his eye back at her. “You never mentioned his dream.”

“Do I need to? Anyone with a brain should figure it out after what happened to his family,” she said quietly. She felt Sasuke stiffened right beside her while Sakura furrowed her eyebrows together. Right, her teammate wasn’t in school when news broke about the massacre, about the culprit. The whole village whispered about it, how they couldn’t picture Uchiha Itachi murdering his family. Though some civilians mentioned that the boy was odd. Too intelligent for someone his age. Too much of a loner. Too quiet.

Their genin instructor nodded. He didn’t push her to elaborate but there was a sharp glint in his eyes. A quiet weariness too like her words confirmed his worst suspicion. “Since you seem to know your teammates so well, I want you to pick the teammate that you believe will give the most accurate description about you.”

Naruto smiled. If he wanted the most accurate description of her, she would have to go with the teammate that clearly never spent any time with her. There was very little chance that Kakashi-sensei would change his mind, why give her the power and then take it away from her? “I pick Sakura. She knows me very well.” The pink-haired girl blinked, clearly taken aback before her own forehead began to sweat. Then, the sweat disappeared and her classmate straightened her spine—no doubt ready to spill her version of her to Kakashi.

Except their mentor hummed. “Funny, I want Mr. Silent to do your introduction so he’ll be talking. We’ll call it developing his social skills.”

Sakura relaxed her shoulders while Sasuke closed his eyes, his shoulders tensed up while his eyebrows furrowed together. No doubt trying to gather some information about her from the years that they had been classmates. “Uzumaki likes ramen and doesn’t particularly enjoy bullies,” her teammate observed, darting his eyes at her. She scowled. “And since the first year in the Academy, she has been screaming about how she is going to become the first female Hokage.”

Not as detailed and mocking as her assessment but more accurate than whatever Sakura would have said. Naruto clasped her hands behind her head and smiled at Kakashi. No expression. No surprise at her dreams. Just a blank expression. Better than him mocking her. She cleared her throat. “What can I say? A girl can have big dreams.”

Their mentor closed his eye. “You aren’t the first girl to make that their goal,” she blinked but Kakashi didn’t elaborate. Instead, he let out a heavy sigh and turned his body around to face the Hokage Monument. “Now let us get back at the task at hand: your actual introduction and not just Uzumaki’s amusing interpretation of her teammates. Clearly only one of you is aware of their teammates while the other two lack any knowledge of their teammates’ traits.”

Naruto stared at him. She didn’t want these stupid introductions until they knew just a little bit more about their mentor. “Why don’t you go first, Kakashi-sensei?” She paused and glanced at her teammates. Sakura and Sasuke nodded. Clearly, no one wanted to go first and introduce themselves to a stranger. “We can even make it fun, Kakashi-sensei! We can play a game of two truths and a lie. That is unless you’re terrified that we’ll figure you out and expose your darkest secrets.”

Kakashi let out a long, exaggerated sigh. He rubbed the back of his neck before leaning further against the rails. “You’re so eager to dig into your sensei’s boring past,” both Sakura and her snorted at the lie but the man gave a lazy shrug and turned back to them. “Fine, I’ll play your little game if it get the three of you to finally do your introductions. Two truths and a lie,” he mused. “What shall I tell you?”

The man finally snapped his fingers and then held out three fingers.

“I’ve a very active social life.”

Debateable.

“I know over a 1000 jutsu.”

That was cool.

“And anyone who sees through my mask falls magically in love with me.”

Naruto squinted at him. If only she had Hinata with her, her best friend could confirm if that part was a lie or if the man was just that handsome. Sakura frowned while Sasuke pressed his fingers against his forehead. In her mind’s eye, she tried to picture Satoru older and then remembered how the asshole would constantly complain about old ladies pulling his cheeks. Maybe I should wear a mask, Naruto and I’ll be rid of this curse. She had thrown a pillow at him for his exaggeration. He chuckled and told her that she shouldn’t be so jealous of him.

“It has to be the last one,” Sakura muttered. “His personality sucks.”

She snorted. “I can say the same thing about Sasuke but you and every other girl acts like his looks cancels out his terrible personality.” Their mentor stared at them, clearly delighted in the squabble between them. If he was anything like Satoru, then she figured out the lie. After all, Satoru was pretty-looking but he had one giant flaw. “But I think the lie is the very active social life. With how he behaves, he probably doesn’t have many friends.”

“Uzumaki’s right.” Sasuke grunted. “A weirdo like him wouldn’t have many friends.”

Kakashi cleared his throat. He gave them a hurt, mocking look. “That really wounds me.” They just stared at him, uncaring and he shrugged his shoulders. “But you’re correct. As you’ll come to realise when you become genins, you won’t have many opportunities—” he gestured vaguely to the sky, “— to have a thriving social life like before.” The man rubbed his chin. “Now since I started the round, why don’t we have the one that no one knows about…play the game: Blondie; you’re up.” His eye crinkled, taking joy of calling her out.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her chin. It had to be something tricky but not something people would figure out. “I dream of an annoying pest every two nights, who laughs at my jokes and is an heir to some clan but has a shitty grandfather,” both her teammates snorted while Kakashi stiffened at her words. “My dream is to become Hokage but it isn’t my whole personality and I hate vegetables.” She smiled. “So figure out the lie.”

Sasuke and Sakura didn’t wait a single second before responding: “The annoying pest.”

Kakashi didn’t respond. Instead, his eyes had surprisingly darted to the Fourth Hokage’s face before drifting back to them. “I would have to go with the vegetable,” there was stunned silence as the man gazed at the monument with an unreadable eye. “Dreaming of another boy? There have been a few shinobi that went through it. Tragedy always fall upon them,” her heart stopped while the male exhaled. “I’ve yet witness a happy ending when shinobi have such dreams.”

Her throat tightened as Sakura glanced at her, this time a little bit concerned. “Why not?”

“Why not? Because every shinobi I know who’s had dreams like that will end up miserable,” Naruto stared at him, her heart stopped, while the man turned away from them. “But y’know exceptions could be made. Maybe Blondie will be lucky and will have a happier fate than all those before her.” His voice didn’t carry that belief while she stared at him. She trembled. Satoru wasn’t real and if he was real, he was one of the few good things she had going for her.

She stared at him, tightened her voice. “My pest isn’t real and even if he was real, he won’t make me miserable.”

“Say that again once you begin your missions.”

Chapter Text

Kakashi had been three when his mother died. The very first memory, he really had of her, was watching his father stare at his mother’s freshly buried grave with tears streaming down his eyes. Her grave was his first memory of her. Not her voice. Not her face. Her grave. From the age of 3 to 6, he witnessed his father bring red chrysanthemum flowers to the grave outside their home. Even when he had been thick with grief, when he barely talked to him, Sakumo always remembered to place flowers on his wife’s grave. When his father committed seppuku, he found it fitting to bury his father right beside her. Soulmates were what they were as his father had told him. Minato-sensei confirmed it too, told him that Father explained the whole concept when he began his relationship with Kushina.

When his father died, he stopped visiting his mother’s grave. In a way, he blamed her for his father’s death because father spiralled after mother died. In front of him, in front of his fellow shinobi, Sakumo smiled and laughed but behind closed doors? He cried for his dead wife. Love of his life, his childhood friend but most of all the constant in his life. I know you didn’t marry me for love, you just wanted to be away from your abusive mother was what his father would say in the darkest of nights in front of his wife’s grave. He heard it but never questioned it. His  grandmother, he knew, despised him for resembling his mother. Father and even Minato-sensei had refused to let him be near her. Protecting him, he assumed, from a woman that resented some rich man that used her.

When his maternal grandmother died, he didn’t bother to go to the funeral rites like his mother’s half-siblings wanted. Father would never have gone; it was fair that he did not go as well. Besides, he had been too busy with ANBU and it was not like they cared for him either. Even now when they crossed each other in the streets, he didn’t recognise them nor acknowledged them. They did the same with him. If grandmother hadn’t resented her oldest daughter for resembling that rich man, maybe Sakumo and his mother wouldn’t have married. Perhaps, he would have lived. He should have lived for him. Minato-sensei was just like his father in that sense.

It was illogical but he knew Minato-sensei probably chose to die instead to live and raise Naruto. Soulmates, he came to realize, made the individual co-dependent. His father spiralled after his mother’s death, Minato-sensei always fretted and even had a panic-attack at the thought of Kushina dying. He exhaled and stared at his mother’s grave, at the dust clinging to her name. It all began with her and maybe it was best, he talked to the dead woman that he never knew. The one, his father claimed, to have loved him.

“I never visited your grave after Father died, he was the one that missed you—not me,” he began. The winds howled in the background while his hand gripped on the file of Team Seven. Iruka’s notes had been accurate, though he should have warned him that Naruto was not just a prankster. She was chaotic, fun but it needed to be channelled in more fruitful ways. “I wonder if you are with him or if you decided to leave him behind like he always thought you would. He knew you didn’t marry him because you loved him, you just wanted to be away from your mother.” He grimaced. “She never liked me either. I look more like you and the married man that your mother hooked up with when she was working as a merchant’s assistant.”

His father never told him that aspect, his mother’s half-sister had snarled those words to him when he made it clear that he wasn’t attending his grandmother’s funeral. You may have your father’s hair colour but you resembled the arrogant man that refused to acknowledge your mother. The one who wanted nothing to do with her. Had it hurt? No. For it to hurt, he would care for them. When his father broke down, began to close himself off to the world, they fed to the rumours about him being dishonourable. How he was not a good son-in-law. His father, he came to know from going through the bank accounts, had given everything that bitter woman wanted. All in an attempt for her to never be near his mother and him.

There was no answer. Why would there be? His mother had been dead for so long now. Kakashi took a seat on the cold, hard ground and stared at the rotten bark of the tree. “Father and Minato-sensei said that you were Father’s soulmate. Father said that he dreamt of you since he was 10,” he continued. That was how his father would tell him about his mother, he talked of their shared dreams. “Minato-sensei said that he had the same thing with Kushina, except I doubt Kushina cried to Minato-sensei about her family like you did. I didn’t know your mother was a monster until Father died and I wonder why most of our money was gone.” He stared at the house, the one his father left behind but the one he could never stayed. “He did it for you and me.”

The clouds darkened above him, heavy with grief but Kakashi just breathed in the stale air. He should have brought flowers for his mother’s grave like he did for his father. That was what people did. The few times, he ran into Asuma, he had seen his fellow shinobi carried flowers that his mother had adored. He spent time cleaning his mother’s grave. Kakashi would acknowledge, could not bring himself to do it for a woman that died from giving up on the world.

“Apparently I have one female student that reads stories on soulmates, probably believes them to be some perfect solution,” Kakashi sighed and tugged on his mask. “I read Icha-Icha because it explores the concept, makes it seem like it is something so beautiful when it is anything but beautiful.” He stared at the dusty grave before drifting to the shrivelled up flowers in the background. Those should be watered, if he ever wished to rent this house out, he would need to keep it clean and beautiful for his renters. “The funny thing about that student? She isn’t the one with the soulmate. It is my chaotic one, Minato-sensei’s daughter and I can only imagine that her soulmate is either some calm person or even more chaotic than her.”

An annoying pest was what Naruto had used to describe her soulmate. He came from a clan and had a shitty grandfather. And he was an heir. Kakashi sighed and looked at the swirling storm clouds. In Konoha alone, there was no one that matched the description. It could be a neighbouring country or worse, it could be from the same place that his maternal grandfather came. Your grandfather was some rich, married man from Japan! Apparently, he wouldn’t leave his wife for our mother because she gave birth to a girl and not some boy. His Aunt’s bitter words still rung in his ear alongside her furious grey eyes. Even when you were born, he refused to acknowledge our mother for being his mistress. He finally had the son that he longed for, a legitimate heir. He didn’t care for the man and for all he knew, his uncle could be the same age as him.

If he was anything like the other clan heirs he had seen, then his half-uncle would be no different—privileged, entitled, and blind to what it meant to be discarded. The woman that married him? She would probably suffer under his biological grandfather’s thumb until she gave a desired male heir. He assumed his grandfather slept with his biological grandmother to prove he could father children, probably did it to spite his barren wife. Kakashi shook his head and listened to the howling winds.

“Naruto isn’t like her father or completely like her mother,” he acknowledged, leaning back. “She is more chaotic than them and I can tell she doesn’t have that same look that Minato-sensei had when he talks about Kushina. Not the same look that Father had when he talked about you.” He paused and brushed his fingers against the Icha-Icha book inside his pocket. There was a ridiculous line in the book that he thought that  brought more depth to Naruto’s situation. “She doesn’t do the whole sighing thing or think deeply about her dream. She called her soulmate a pest and that is the first time, I ever heard a person describe their soulmate in that way.” He stared at the grey skies. “Father will never disrespect you while Minato-sensei loved Kushina too much to call her that. Kushina never say such things either but leave it to their daughter to be blunt.”

His father had described his mother to be hauntingly beautiful but so broken. Kakashi believed it. Until his father died, he had seen photos of his mother. The white hair that fell down like a pin-point needles, the large unearthly blue eyes and the lack of smile on her face. He resembled her and there had been too many women, who tugged on his cheeks and crooned on his looks. Too much for him to bare. It was why he chose to wear a mask because no one would touch him, and his father wouldn’t look so grief-stricken when he looked at him. A male version of your mother was how his father would describe him.

The silence stretched on before he cleared his throat. “The team, I am saddled with  is a disaster in the making. They need discipline, structure—someone who can keep them from tearing each other apart. Naruto stirs the pot by riling her teammate up but I’m sure she can drive her female teammate to put some actual work when she realise that Sasuke pays attention to her,” he shifted in his spot. “I was going to dismiss them on the spot because of what happened to Naruto. I don’t want to pass that girl because of what she did to get the spot.” He sighed. “But she is Kushina’s daughter and she isn’t weak like you or Father.” He darted his eyes to his father’s grave, to the sparkle on the gravestone. “She is handling her trauma better than how the Hokage led me to believe.”

When he had came into that room, he came with the expectation that Naruto was going to be some broken little girl like the Hokage made her out to be. Instead, she had studied him with curious eyes. Yes, she had been silent but she didn’t bother to hide her emotions from him. Not the annoyance for being late. She hadn’t tried to suck up to him like Sakura. She didn’t play the role of someone unengaged like Sasuke. No, she had been brazen as Iruka described. He exhaled. There was perhaps some hope that he wouldn’t need to find common activities to get the girl to bond, though he suspected he would need to find a way to get her to direct her chaotic energy in something more productive. Strategic games? Training? He would have to see once he got a full idea of what his three students lacked.

Sasuke, he acknowledged, lacked the social skills that Naruto had but had the same strength as the girl. Sakura had social skills but lacked the strength that both her teammates had. Naruto was the wildcard, he would admit. The interactions alone gave him a clear idea that she was the perfect mix. Just more analytical. Just slier. With the right training, she would exceed where most kunoichis failed. At her age, girls focused on their crushes and lacked the drive for something deeper. Even Rin, he acknowledged, did not have a drive like Naruto. That girl inherited her mother’s ambitions and had the freedom, her mother lacked.

He rubbed his wrist. “I wonder if she is different because her soulmate isn’t here,” he leaned forward and removed the dust from his mother’s headstone. “Or it is because her relationship with her soulmate isn’t like yours or Minato. She doesn’t behave like her soulmate is meant to save her; Father did what he could to save you from your mother,” he looked at his father’s grave. “For the first time I wish you were alive because you would have a different thought to soulmates than Father and Minato-sensei or even Kushina. You chose to leave this world even though Father was your soulmate.”

There was no response. There never would be. His mother was nothing but a corpse underneath the soil. Dusting the dirt off his clothes, he looked up at the grey skies with a tired heart. He pulled out the Icha-Icha book, flipped it to the scene where the protagonist declares his devotion to his love interest and laughed at the cheesy line. “I probably won’t visit again, Mother but I hope you’re finally happy…wherever you are. With how Father described you, I doubt your mother will be in the same place.”

Perhaps, his father was with her as well and they were finally happy together.

Naruto knew from the moment she found herself, once again, in her apartment and smelt the sweet scent that she was in another one of those dreams. Today was not the day for her dreams. She should be focusing on how to defeat Kakashi, not talking to Satoru. Although the older boy did give good advice. So she didn’t utter a word of complaint when he strolled into her apartment like he casually owned the place. His lips were curled into a smile, one of relief, and she supposed he still remembered how she broke down the other night. Not her finest moment but she was going to move on. Mizuki, she decided, would not define her.

“You seem more like the sassy Naruto I know,” Satoru declared, taking a seat on the chair. She snorted and he stared at her for a moment. Thoughtful and asked in a quieter voice. “Seriously, how are you? A few days ago, your whole world was breaking down because your teacher tried to assault you and now you seem more like your old self.” She dropped her smile and hugged her jacket while he brushed his fingers against the dusty table. “We can talk about it if you want,” he tugged on his collar. “I don’t know shit but we can talk about it.”

She stared at the Hokage’s Monument. “If I don’t think about it, I can pretend that it never happened…and I have to pretend it never happened,” Naruto  flexed her fingers together and looked at the curious eyes  of Satoru. She exhaled. “I try not to be alone because if I’m alone then my mind wanders to the darkest part and I refuse to let that bastard win.” He didn’t smile nor relaxed, just nodded like he understood her reasoning. “You and the Hokage are the only people that know what I went through, Hinata doesn’t even know what I went through.”

Her best friend hadn’t uttered a word when they met for dinner, she had been smiling but her eyes had been studying her. Hinata knew her. She had noticed it but her best friend would never ask her outright. Not like Satoru. She was always more subtle and slier when it came to gathering information out of her. Just some smooth words would get her to spill. But not today. What happened to her was common to kunoichi. They had been warned but reality never set until it happened to one of them. Naruto swallowed. Her best friend would be horrified, even angry at her for taking such a dangerous risk. She didn’t want her best friend to realise just how far she would go to become a kunoichi.

“You told me that you never hide anything from her.”

The accusation stung but Naruto only swallowed. “I can’t tell her about the Kyuubi and I can’t tell her about Mizuki,” she exhaled and rocked against the creaking chair.  Their relationship wasn’t based on secrets, but this had to be an exception. “Hinata has been my best friend since I was six, I can’t risk losing her when she is the only friend I really have. Right now, I need her more than ever because I’m stuck with a fangirl and Sasuke.” He raised his eyebrow at the use of his first name. She scowled. Of course, he noticed it. “He’s still an ass but I can tolerate him now.”

He didn’t smile at her words or mocked her for being slightly softer on Sasuke. Satoru didn’t even ask her what changed and she would have hugged him for not asking her. Shikamaru would prob. Kiba would have accused her of some feeling she never had. Choji would just congratulate her for changing her mind on him. Instead, Satoru walked to the kitchen. His back was completely turned from her. He shuffled through her drinks before grabbing the sweet banana milk in her fridge. The lid came out with a loud pop.

“What about your instructor? Did the Hokage give you a girl instructor?” It sounded more like a statement than a question. She crossed her legs together and stared at the ceiling. There were some plasters around the cracked ceiling. In the real world, her ceiling was perfect. No cracks. No hint of damage. Only just subtle marks that came from old buildings. Just the tiny scribbles she made as a child. The ones that she could never quite get rid of.

“My instructor is a man,” she blinked when she noticed the flame from her stove burst despite  it not being turned on. Satoru had a calm expression but his hands were balled into a fist. Oh. He was upset. Naruto shrugged. “You’re more upset about me having a male instructor than me.” Satoru jerked his head, he stared straight into her eyes like the unconvinced boy that he was. She sighed. “Would it be great if he was a girl, yeah but I can’t kick a fuss because of what I went through…Satoru. I knew what I signed up for when I became a kunoichi, I just didn’t think it would happen…this early. Besides, I doubt he likes little girls.”

He placed the drink firmly on the counter. No droplets crept down his drink. “After what happened, do you truly think you can make the same judgment, Naruto?”

“I believe the fact he acts a bit like you means that he won’t have such disgusting thoughts,” she countered. He blinked and Naruto looked away, her eyes focused entirely on her blank wall. Until 7 years old, she had pictures of every shinobi that she wanted to surpass. Then the landlord got pissed when he saw that she ruined his walls, told her to get rid of them. The air buzzed like it was under electrocution “Except he is very good at hiding his emotions and he lets me be chaotic. A female instructor would have scolded me for riling my teammates up, a male instructor would have stopped me from insulting Sasuke…he just let me do my thing when I gave my observation. I played a game of two truth and a lie with my team and can you believe that he believed you weren’t a lie?”

The flame in the stove dimmed down just a little bit. Her whole building trembled like it was under an earthquake. He picked up the drink once more, gulping it down like it was one of his sugary drinks at home. It was a first. He never liked milk. Not banana milk. It was always chocolate milk for him. “Did he now?” his words were softer as his pretty blue eyes focused on her. “Why didn’t he think I was a lie? Normal people won’t think what we go through is real.”

She shrugged and decided to ask the question that had been nagging her since Kakashi-sensei dismissed them. “Yeah, he said that I wasn’t the first shinobi to have such dreams,” Naruto paused and observed how Satoru stiffened. She narrowed her eyes at him. “He told me that tragedy always fell on them.” His expression didn’t change and she pushed on, more determined to get answers. “Did you know that there were other people that dreamt like me and you? Are you real, Satoru?”

There was silence as her question hovered between them. If he said no like a swift throwing kunai, she would have stormed off because that was a sign of a lie. The fact he remained silent gave her a hope that he would be honest. She needed it. More than ever. To know she hadn’t created him from pure loneliness. From a desire to break free. “I guess since he told you, there is no point of me not coming out and saying it,” he acknowledged with a shrug. “I am real and I did know—my parents had the same dream.”

She blinked and jerked her head. “Your parents? Did they tell you why we have these dreams?”

“They did.”

“And are you going to tell me?”

Satoru twirled the empty bottle, his blue eyes lacked any joy and just seemed very much resigned. “It doesn’t matter Naruto because I know you are just like me and you wouldn’t care for these things,” she thinned her lips and the older boy held his hands up in the air. “I’m going to tell you but you ain’t going to like it.”

“Let me decide that,” she declared. “You don’t make decisions for me, Satoru.”

He swallowed and clasped his hands together. His eyes focused on her, for the first time: there was vulnerability in them like he was afraid of her reaction. It wasn’t like him. Confident was his default mode. Cocky too. Not this. It was so unusual that her hands itched to grab his own to steady him. Finally, her friend exhaled. “My mother says that dreams like these happen to soulmates,” she jerked her head and spluttered at his words. He laughed. “Hard to believe, right? Me and you? Soulmates?”

Yes, it was hard to believe. Satoru? Her soulmate? Weren’t soulmates supposed to be perfect like in those cheesy books that Sakura read? Her friend wasn’t perfect. He could be arrogant. Could be an absolute ass. Did not know how to filter his thoughts. But he was always her ass. The friend, she counted on because he wasn’t real. That was why she opened up to him. Wait a second, she took his shirt. He made comments about her…

“If you are real, then why the fuck did you make comments about my chest? Didn’t your mother teach you better than to make shitty comments about small chest?”

A loud, unfiltered laugh escaped his lips. “That’s what you’re focusing on? The fact I thought your chest was small? Not that we’re soulmates?” She shrugged and he relaxed his shoulders. “Y’know this would have been a chance for you to say that I’m your perfect partner or that we’re destined to be together or that you’re happy your soulmate is handsome and not some ugly ass.”  She just stared at him. He pouted. “C’mon give me something, Naruto.”

Naruto rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should be happy I ain’t kicking you out of my apartment for hiding such a big secret from me, what was your plan by not telling me?” she stopped and thought of all the ridiculous tropes that she heard the girls talked about during their breaks. During their kunoichi lesson. “Wait, did you not tell me to make sure I fall in love with you for your personality and not some fate thing? Cuz I like you as a friend but you’re still too annoying for me.”

He spluttered. “And who would like an unfeminine girl like you? I want my future girlfriend to be cute and think the world of me! You don’t even give me that much.”

A few years ago, she would have slammed her fist against his nose for the dickheaded comment. Now? Now she just stared at him for the longest time before making her way to his seat. He raised his eyebrow. She smiled. Without a second thought, she pulled the chair and watched with wicked delight as he crashed to the ground. “That was for lying about wanting a girlfriend who thinks the world of you,” she explained simply when he rubbed his bum. “I’ve been stuck with you for four years, I know by now that if your girlfriend thinks like that….then you’ll be bored and you’ll dump her ass.”

“You aren’t denying the unfeminine part,” he observed.

She blinked and then shrugged.

“Didn’t you tell me not to give a damn about what people think? You’re a person which means I shouldn’t care what you think of me.”

He smiled.

“And that’s why I didn’t tell you because it doesn’t change a thing, Naruto.”

Chapter Text

When Naruto arrived at the training ground, she expected to be the last person to arrive. She hadn’t woken up late but the thought of fighting a jounin with an empty stomach brought a shudder down her spine. So, she made breakfast, nothing too heavy, just some streamed rice and grilled fish. Her stomach didn’t grumble on the way here, but her mind had been distracted. She believed Satoru when he said that telling her about soulmates hadn’t changed a thing, he wasn’t mean-spirited. He wasn’t the type to hide things. If he believed it mattered, he would tell her because that was who he was.

With everything that happened to her, them being soulmates were the last thing on her mind. She had to focus on becoming a kunoichi, becoming a genin because that was the first step to her goal. Then she would become a chunin and the possibility of becoming Hokage would seem more attainable. In his own way, she supposed Satoru was aware that she didn’t need this bullshit. And it was bullshit. Soulmates were supposed to be perfect, there should be something that drew her to him but sometimes she wanted to throttle her white-haired friend.

She exhaled and then breathed in the cold air. It must have been loud because Sakura had jerked her head at her. Her teammate had been the first to arrive, clearly she had been eager because she had been sleeping against the tree trunk. Did the girl even eat? Probably not. She wanted to be the teacher’s pet and would listen to Kakashi about not eating. Her new teammate gave trust so easily, it would be so easy to just trick her. Those green eyes narrowed, glowing with irritation for her blatant disrespect. Did it matter if she was late? Sasuke wasn’t here either and Kakashi still wasn’t here. She was safe.

“You’re late,” Sakura hissed. She folded her arms against her chest and clenched her jaw. “Kakashi-sensei said to be here in 0500 hours, you’re 10 minutes late.”

“Sasuke’s late as well.” She clasped her hands behind her head and looked at the dark skies, the sun was still sleeping so peacefully. She had never wanted to be sun till now. If it wasn’t her desire to be in peak condition, she would probably be clutching her stomach and crying for some food. Just like when she was a little kid. The days before she ran away from the orphanage. “Bet ya if I was Sasuke, you would zip your mouth and drool over me for being late like a rebel.”

Sakura pinkened and spluttered. “He’s responsible, not like you!”

Naruto remained silent. She had to remain silent or else she would scream at her for being so shallow in her views about responsibility. She could not make an accusation, she had to listen even if it pained her brain to understand her. “How is he more responsible than me? Cuz he doesn’t have a fun bone in his body like you?” Sakura’s face reddened, her hands balled into a fist and Naruto prattled on. “Seriously? You’re upset about the fact I’m stating the truth? Sasuke is like a straight road; he never goes off course and you? You act so self-righteous.”

The vein on Sakura’s forehead widened. “And you’re always getting into trouble and skipping classes but somehow you managed to pass like me! And get better grades than me!” The outburst was so loud that it startled the birds. The trees rattled alongside it as those green eyes glowed with irritation. “You don’t even deserve to be here, Naruto! I saw you acting like a big baby because you didn’t pass the first genin test but somehow you got your way!”

Do you know what I had to do to become a genin like you? Would you do what I did to become a genin or would you have given up? She wanted to scream it at her but the Hokage would know she spilled. She knew Sakura would judge her for going to extreme lengths to become a kunoichi. What sane girl would allow herself to go as far as to put herself in danger for a role? It was dedication to her dream but not everyone would think the same. Her teammate would sneer at her like she was behaving now.

“And you think you deserve to be here ‘cuz you passed the Academy test on the first go?” She said with a tight smile. Her voice filled the quiet training ground. “Ami passed on her first go as well, think she deserve this? Unlike your spoiled ass, I don’t have parents to support me. So yes, I threw a tantrum and got my way ‘cuz the government wouldn’t want to waste their funds on orphans.” It was a lie but words could be like kunai. The Hokage had taught her that indirectly.

Sakura trembled and snarled. “My parents didn’t support me! I did all of this with my own hard work! I don’t come from a clan either!”

“Please! You spent four fucking years mooning over a boy that doesn’t give a fuck about you!” She wasn’t going to bother to lighten her words or pretend to be meek to please this girl. She didn’t care to turn around to see who crunched the grass. It was either Sasuke or Kakashi. They were the only people left. Sakura’s face reddened and she straightened her spine, her eyes glowing with rage. “That’s hard work? Hard work is you training your asses off.”

Someone cleared their voice and Naruto turned around to meet the indifferent face of Sasuke. Of course, he would be indifferent. A fight like this was below him. He would only care if it affected his goal, he was that kind of boy. She stared at Sakura, waiting for her to prove her wrong about Sasuke. That she would have the same reaction to him like she did with her. She was disappointed. The girl immediately brightened at the sight of him as if the bastard hung the stars.

Maybe they were the soulmates because she couldn’t picture herself being this ridiculous with a boy. Not even with Satoru.

“Did you eat breakfast too and that’s why you were 15 minutes late or you slept in like a normal person?” Sakura flinched and had the decency to look away at her jab while Sasuke just gave her a look. A look. The look like he thought she was being silly. He didn’t have to deal with the stupid lecture from righteous Sakura. She yawned and sat down on the soft grass. “Seriously, you were late Sasuke.”

Sakura sneered. “You were late too, Uzumaki.”

“I know but you’re too much like a sheep to call him out, so I did your job.” She turned back to Sasuke. He looked resigned as if this whole thing was just too childish for him. He was acting like a 30-year-old man, he was not. 12. He was 12 just like them and could be just as petty. She would prove it one day. “So explain Mr. Silent ‘cuz your admirer over there gave me a lecture about being late without asking me why I was late in the first place.”

Sasuke remained silent for a moment. His face revealed nothing but from the flicker to the empty spot in front of them, he was clearly expecting Kakashi to suddenly reveal himself. A few more minutes passed. Their teacher still did not arrive. When he was certain Kakashi was not here, he answered. “Slept in.”

“Looks like Sasuke isn’t as responsible as you think, Sakura.” She was smug. How could she not? Sasuke just proved that he wasn’t some perfect boy. He slept in like a normal person and she didn’t blame him. At this time, the sun hadn’t risen. Even the roosters couldn’t bother to make a sound to wake a normal person up. Sakura didn’t break at the knowledge of Sasuke’s irresponsibility, no her eyes shone like she found it charming. Girls with crushes, Naruto decided, were an absolute mystery. “You still look terrible despite sleeping in.”

That snapped Sakura out of her daydream. She barked. “He looks fine, Uzumaki! You’ve rice crumbs on your lips, do you eat like a savage?” Her eyes widened as if it just dawned on her that she ate. That she broke the rule. Those pale cheeks darkened and that vein on her forehead expanded. It looked ugly but the owner of it was ugly, so it fitted. “You ate breakfast even though Kakashi-sensei told us not to eat! Do you not care about authority, Uzumaki?”

Naruto dug her finger into her ear. “You said it yourself—I get into trouble and skip class, me suddenly being a good kid? People will just think some enemy ninja had decided to become like me and steal village’s secrets.” Sakura twitched and looked at Sasuke as if he could reasoned with her. The only male of their team just sat on the ground and closed his eyes. “And why should I listen to him? Cuz he’s our genin instructor? He seems like the kind of guy who likes to stir the pot ‘cuz telling us not to eat? That’s inhumane.”

Her female teammate sneered. “Of course, you would think like that. You can’t go a day without eating.”

Before Satoru, she would have smashed her fist against that haughty face and tear that long pink hair apart. Now? She just laid on the grass and listened to the silent air. “Right because as shinobi, it’s important to starve ourselves to death in order to do a job,” she could practically hear Sakura’s veins boiling with rage at her comment. Naruto yawned. “We burn a lot of calories by just doing this job, remember what Iruka-sensei and our kunoichi instructor used to say? If we’re on a mission and we can find food, eat and drink some water.” She smiled. “Unless you think our teachers were wrong.”

Both Sasuke and Sakura remained silent. Then Sasuke twitched. “…You think Kakashi was messing with us by telling us not eat, don’t you?”

There was a long stretch of silence. Then, a loud snort. “You heard his line about having a very active social life? And how he didn’t tell us a thing about him? He let me talk ‘cuz he just wanted me to stir the pot—I like him for that.” She plopped herself up and stared at them. “Making us starve? Sounds like an easy way to make us angry because no one thinks straight when they’re hungry.”

Sakura thinned her lips. “But doing any form of exercise on a full stomach increases the likelihood of us vomiting.”

“If he’s on time, we’ve been talking for 30 minutes and he still isn’t here,” Naruto retorted. She paused as a thought came to her mind. “You don’t think we’re going to be waiting here for another three hours like yesterday, do you? Cuz 30 minutes is not being late, it’s just plain forgetfulness.”

They exchanged glances. Sakura twitched.

“I could be getting my beauty rest if he’s doing the same thing from yesterday!”

Naruto nodded and looked at the sky. “So, should we just go back home and come back in another two hours? He clearly forgot about us and since Sakura cares about her beauty sleep, we should just go back to bed and be well-rested for this sadistic man.” The three of them exchanged glances and bobbed their head. She hummed. “Great, I’ll see you guys and don’t forget to eat breakfast—we’ve no idea of what he’ll do to us.”

Sakura nodded and glanced at Sasuke. “Since Uzumaki ate—”

Her sentence hadn’t even finished before the boy walked away. Naruto saw her deflated look before walking away too. They were teammates and if everything went to plan, she would be out of this team when she became a chunin. No point for her to try and cheer her up after such a brutal turndown.

100 teams. That was the number of teams, Kakashi acknowledged he failed. All of them followed a predictable pattern—listened to his orders without thinking, fighting relentlessly for his bells and never helping the others. He believed this team would be slightly different not because he had the Uchiha and Naruto. Sasuke was talented, he acknowledged, if he went by his grades. Naruto was the chaotic one, nothing like her parents but at the same time, she clearly inherited the best of their traits. He expected her to eat and be late, he didn’t expect that all three of them would be late.

When the grass crunched was when he lowered his book. Sakura was the first to arrive. She looked surprised, irritated and even slightly guilty for making him wait. Her eyes were wide awake, he noticed. A sign she had gotten some sleep instead of being sleep-deprived like he hoped. Unexpected. By Iruka’s notes and Naruto’s chaotic evaluation, he expected her to remain the teacher’s pet. The one who would follow his rules blindly like a heard of sheep. Two minutes later—Naruto arrived, just as well rested as Sakura. 10 minutes later, Sasuke arrived.

“I told the three of you to be here at 0500 hours, not 0820 hour,” said Kakashi when Sasuke was within earshot. The three preteens remained silent and he continued with his observation. “You made me wait for 3 hours and 20 minutes.” A long pause. “That’s not how it works. You wait for me, I don’t wait for you.” Cute for now but in the future? He would not tolerate such blatant disrespect. Sakura immediately glared at Naruto, a triumphant look, while Sasuke and Naruto stared at him.

Silence stretched on until the sheep member of the team broke down. “That’s not fair! We waited for 30 minutes but Uzumaki had this idea that we should just go back home and sleep because you forgot about us!” She swirled her head at the chaotic one. “I knew we should have waited—”

“—You only wanted to stay until I reminded you we might be here for another three hours,” Naruto cut in, voice even. All the confirmation he needed to know whose brilliant idea was to make him wait. He suspected but this confirmed it. “Suddenly your beauty sleep seems more important than being a goody-two shoes.” She turned to focus her eyes on him. “And you weren’t here at 0500 hours, Teacher’s Pet over here came at 0500 hours; I came at 0510 hours and Mr. Silent? 0515 hours and you weren’t there. So you didn’t wait that long.”

Kakashi remained calm underneath her accusatory glare. She caught on to his slip-up, clearly she did the math and didn’t falter when he turned the tables on them. Sasuke clearly knew too, his eyes hadn’t widened at his accusation. He had been calm. He must have realised but unlike his chaotic one, he didn’t care. The unbothered one was the correct. He chuckled, low and deep. “Very well, I didn’t wait that long,” he acknowledged. “I waited for 20 minutes. It does not mean you can just decide to leave the grounds because I’m not there. I tell you to be here at 0500 hours, I expect you to stay there.”

“If you’re always three hours late, shouldn’t we just add three hours to whatever time you tell us?” Was the chaotic one’s argument.

His lips twitched. She was the chaotic one. “This is our second meeting, next time I might be early.”

“Will you?”

Silence. A shrug. “No.”

“Then we’ll just do that, so no one gets upset and I don’t need to see Sakura’s pathetic attempts to get a date,” Naruto declared.

He shrugged and ignored Sakura’s flushed cheeks. Instead, he observed the most chaotic member of his team. What led to this whole team to decide to make him wait was because Naruto had told them that they might wait another three hours for him. She had caught on to his deliberate wording. She was quickly analysing his habits to win the argument. At this point, he would be a fool to do the test with his usual methods. It would not be a real test for this team.

They would pass because of one criteria but he needed to confirm his suspicion about the chaotic one. “You clearly don’t like Sakura but you told her and Sasuke they would be waiting for me for another three hours—why?” Naruto blinked and he kept his tone calm and casual. “Does the chaotic one actually have a soft side and care about her teammates? Or did you just want to get them in trouble with you?”

Sakura mumbled. “The last one—of course.”

That was the predictable response but it was not how the chaotic one worked. Uzumaki Naruto was problematic, a force to be reckoned because she had been the culprit of several pranks. Iruka suspected it, had written it on his notes, but he never had evidence. In his notes, he stated Naruto was loyal and would never put Hyuga Hinata in the firing line. That was her best friend but it could apply here. Sakura threw her under the bus but the chaotic one didn’t start the whole thing by throwing her least favourite person in the firing range. Uzumaki rubbed her jaw.

“If I just left to get some sleep, I know Sakura would babble so I told them because if she babbled, she’ll be a hypocrite.” The blonde nodded. “And I told them to eat ‘cuz it just made sense to eat.”

That just made his decision easier. He circled around the three genins, mind swirling as he considered his next steps. In the past, he would use the two bells and have them fight over it with the wild hope that one of them could prove him wrong. They never did. They would eat his meal like sheep. They would never stop to think about working together because they believed only two people could be a team. This set-up would fail with this team.

Uzumaki didn’t care for what he had to say. She went with logic, she thought ahead and until the incident with Mizuki, the Third Hokage had been subtly training her in the ways of politics. He must have at one point talked about the structure of teams. Had told her of why the system had changed from the olden days before the village. He thinned his lips. The Hokage had told him that this team would pass, he never said that he couldn’t make them open their eyes.

He never said that he could put a control. Uzumaki would tell them and they would work together, he would need to eliminate the possibility.

“You know just for being the chaotic germline, I decided to let you pass,” he declared to Naruto. He maintained a blank expression from behind his mask when he saw the deflated expression from Sakura and the balled fist from Sasuke. The girl stared, disbelieving, and Kakashi allowed his lips to twitch. He closed his eyes. “Just you, not Mr. Silent or Ms. Goody-two-shoes. I mean why should I let them pass? They haven’t done anything to consider them, not like you.”

Sakura protested. “She didn’t do anything to deserve it! Sasuke and I deserve a chance to prove ourselves!”

Hook. Line. Sinker. He hummed as his eyes darted at Sasuke and Naruto. The blond-haired girl still had the befuddled look while the Uchiha Heir had a twitch in his eyebrow like he didn’t believe what was going on. Good. The Third Hokage was right that he needed to make them close. Kakashi would admit that he was wrong to expect Naruto to be the glue because right now? Right now, it would ruin his test before it even begun. “Okay, you can prove yourselves.” He paused and pulled out a single bell; not two bells like before. “You and Mr. Silent just need to get this bell from me.”

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Just get the bell?”

“Hmm, you or Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes get the bell and Naruto over there will be kicked out of the program,” Kakashi declared, pocketing the bell. Naruto’s eyes widened and her face became pale at the implication. Good. She needed some fear for this test to work. Sakura and Sasuke exchanged looks while Naruto trembled. “But here’s the catch—Naruto will be tied up and if at any point, you untie her and get her to help you—all three of you will fail.”

Would they sacrifice the one that could get them to pass? Or would they break his rules to use the one that could potentially figure out how to get the bell? For the first time in years, his whole body was shaking with excitement to see what these three could do. If Uzumaki was as smart as he believed, she would be cunning about this. The only question was—would she sacrifice her pride? Or would she fall for her own weakness?

Only time could tell.

Chapter Text

Watching Kakashi-sensei tie that annoying Uzumaki against that tree stump brought a flutter to Sakura’s stomach, she had never seen Uzumaki looked so shaken by the sight. It had been years since she had been tied up. Four years, if she remembered correctly. It was what she deserved; she had been breaking rules left and right. Caused so many problems but no one could ever prove it was her when it was so…obvious. A girl made a mean comment to Hyuga. A few weeks later, her dirty laundry was aired out. Another girl had itchy powder placed in her clothes, no one could prove that it was Uzumaki.

All Uzumaki had to do was that wide smile and flutter her eyelashes and say that there was no evidence. You cannot punish me without evidence of what I’ve done, it could have been Kiba was what she would say like Kiba was that smart. That vengeful. She hated how Uzumaki could figure out how not to get into trouble. How it was clear that Iruka-sensei favored her because she had seen him buying the troublemaker lunch. Her parents agreed with her, had warned her never to act like Uzumaki. A bad seed was what her mother would say whenever she heard of Uzumaki’s antics. Those words would fade when whispers came out of Uzumaki’s grades, the steady improvement and then her mother would say…why can an orphan get good grades and beat a clan child but you can’t? Were her mother’s frustrated words.

Even now with her hiding under the bushes and observing Kakashi-sensei, Sakura felt her heart raced as her mind tried to think of how to get the bell. He was a jounin. The highest rank, higher than her parents, and was much more skilled. How could she get the bell? He wouldn’t just leave it around. She had to get the bell. If Mother knew Kakashi-sensei picked Uzumaki, she would be quiet. Then state. What did she do to earn such praise? What did that devil of child do that you couldn’t do? It was never with anger. Anger would have been better than disappointment.

Until Uzumaki turned her grades around, her mother had been pleased with her for getting better grades than all the other non-clan kids. That’s my girl; you’re going to be amazing was what her mother would say when she saw her grades. Her theory had been better than everyone else in their class. Never taijutsu but that was okay in her mother’s eyes. Not everyone had the resources to be great in everything. Then Uzumaki started improving, started beating Ino and then it was not okay. If that devil of a child could do it, so can you! She isn’t better than you, Sakura! Even the Fourth Hokage had been brilliant and he was born to merchant parents unlike you! Her mother wasn’t hysterical but she might as well have been. She hated Uzumaki for putting the pressure on her.

Through the hints of the bushes, she saw Kakashi-sensei standing out in the field. He hadn’t changed position, just hummed some old-fashioned tune, before his hands drifted into his kunai pocket. Was he pulling out a kunai? A shuriken? Did he know where they were? He was a jounin, he probably could see them. Her hair was pink, not the kind of colour that blends with the shadows. Sasuke would be better, his hair was darker and so much more beautiful. If Uzumaki was here, well she would blend in without a problem. She was always better at traps—annoyingly so.

“Since the two of you are so scared to fight me, I guess I can enjoy my book,” he declared. The book he took out was orange, the books that her mother would never let her grab her hands on. I don’t want you getting the wrong idea about sex was her mother’s words. She felt her stomach churned. Their instructor was a pervert. Would he touch them? No, Iruka-sensei would never allow such a man to be their instructor. If anything, it would be for Uzumaki’s sake. Uzumaki was his favourite student. “Y’know if the chaotic one wasn’t tied up, she might stir something but I guess you guys are too…predictable to try and be something different.”

Sakura swallowed her rage as her fingers drifted to her kunai. Just one attempt to throw it at their instructor but she withdrew her hand in the last minute. If she threw it, he would know where she was. He would annihilate her because she was a genin and he was a jounin. Uzumaki would have done it because she never had a sense of danger. Her pranks spoke for herself. If I do what she does, Father will punish me by giving me the silent treatment. He’ll make me clean up my mess were all her thoughts as she recalled the pranks. And yet Uzumaki was praised for it by a jounin.

She heard the winds whistled, a sharp cry of help, and then froze when several kunais struck Kakashi. Except, she didn’t hear him scream but there was a tiny glimpse of blood. She swallowed. It had to be Sasuke. He was the only one who could do it, he was so brave and so much more talented than her. Than Uzumaki. She expected the bell to drop but it didn’t drop. Instead, the bleeding Kakashi had disappeared in a pop to reveal a log. Oh. He did the replacement jutsu.

“You have to do better than that,” Kakashi taunted, turning in the direction of where the kunai came. He didn’t look away from his book, just let out a quiet yawn before he cocked his head to the side. “A move like that won’t allow you to become a genin and take the Chaotic One place.” He turned a page. “If it was that easy, I might as well not be a jounin.” His voice became mockingly. “Perhaps I should have let the chaotic one do the test, she would’ve made things…interesting.”

Why? Why did he find Uzumaki more worthy than Sasuke? He was the Uchiha heir, he had the best grades throughout the Academy, while Uzumaki was a nobody. Sakura wanted to charge to her bound teammate and shake her, to demand what was so special about her. But she didn’t. Instead she watched with a hopeful heart as Sasuke jumped down from his spot, his dark eyes were calculating and irritated. He must hate it too. That Uzumaki had been chosen over him.

“Then why didn’t you let her do this?” Sasuke asked. There was no curiosity, no anger but a suspicion in his tone like he found the man’s antics to be misleading. Kakashi remained silent, he did it a lot more often than she thought he would. “Why tie her up if you believe she’s more interesting?”

The only sound that could be heard was the sound of the pages of the book being flipped. Their instructor closed his lone eye. “Because she’s leagues ahead of the both of you,” his voice was mocking as his lone eye rested on Sasuke. “She’s scrappy and would do anything to become a genin—can the same be said for you and Ms. Goody-Two-Shoes? I like her for that. You two haven’t done anything to make me like you.”

Sasuke balled his fist and for the first time, Sakura saw rage in his eyes. She expected him to scream because that was what a normal person would do. But it was Sasuke. Of course, he would never scream. He wasn’t like Uzumaki, rude and disobedient. “I’m different,” he declared with that cool tone of his. It would be a lie if she said her heart didn’t flutter at his cool words. “I’m more worthy than Uzumaki.”

Kakashi hummed. The bell on his waist jingled. Then, a cold laugh. “Say that after you get the bell, you get it—Uzumaki and Haruno are out, you’re in the program.”  

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and without hesitation, he threw the shuriken at Kakashi with such precision. The man didn’t put away his book, just dodged them like it was nothing. But it wasn’t nothing. Those shuriken curved in ways she could never do it, in ways that Ino had never been able to do it. Uzumaki couldn’t do it either. Sasuke had always been better at this. The man sighed as if to say such attacks were nothing to him. It made her want to scream at him because if Sasuke’s attack meant nothing, then why would hers? Why would Uzumaki’s attack mean anything?

“How…predictable,” Kakashi paused as his lone eye narrowed at the shuriken. One of the shuriken wasn’t heading towards him, it was heading in a different direction. What was his plan? Sakura wondered as she tightened her grip on the grass. She couldn’t pick anything out of ordinary.  She didn’t understand why the man’s eye narrowed even further until she saw the shuriken sliced through a thin string. When did Sasuke do this? How? Her mouth became dry; her heart raced when several kunais flung at him.

If she had been there, she would have frozen but their genin instructor jumped out of the way. The kunais embedded on the tree trunk. It was so deep that if a normal person had been there, they would have been stabbed several times. Too cruel. Too much but Kakashi was a jounin. Normal methods wouldn’t work on him. Sasuke must have known because he didn’t waste any time before launching himself at the man.

He was reckless, Sakura knew, but he deserved it compared to Uzumaki. He was so much more talented, it was there in the way he threw his punches and kicks. Would Uzumaki had been able to get Kakashi-sensei to block her kicks or punches? No, she would have gone for the floor because she was always destroying things. She would have sent their instructor to the hospital like all the others that tried to fight her. She swallowed when Kakashi used both hands to stop Sasuke. Both hands. Until now, he used only one.

Sasuke knew it too because he withdrew his left hand and reached out for the bell. It jingled. Jingled. But Kakashi was better, more skilled. He jumped back but his visible eye lacked any feeling. No pride. No sign of being impressed by Sasuke’s action. Instead, he took out his book once more. When did he even put it away? He flipped his book back to his page. “Good…but not good enough.”

It triggered Sasuke because his eyes became more visibly irritated. His hands began to weave through handseals. She didn’t know the jutsu but judging from the tiger handseal, it had to be the fire jutsu. When did he learn it? Her vision became a vision of red as the air heated and fire blasted out of Sasuke’s mouth. From her position, she couldn’t see Kakashi but she bet he was surprise. She was, after all. Only Sasuke could have such a cool jutsu.

He was going to become a genin after all.

Just like that, her mind shattered. If Sasuke caught the bell, he would become a genin, and that was amazing. He deserved it. He did. Her crush always had one of the highest scores in school, he came from a well-respected clan unlike Naruto. But if Sasuke passed, it would mean she was with Uzumaki. That she was no better than Uzumaki. She swallowed a lungful of air. She couldn’t allow that. Her mother would never let her live it down.

So what if you and Uzumaki failed? You’re supposed to be better than her. Her mother would say it with a curt voice while cutting her vegetables. She needed to get the bell because she didn’t need the comparison. Sakura stared at the clear blue sky. How could she get the bell? She was decent but nothing like Sasuke. He knew jutsu. He was good in strategy. He was better at her in everything. If she went to Kakashi with what she had, she would never even touch it.

And she wanted Sasuke to pass too because he deserved to be a shinobi, even more than Uzumaki, but she didn’t want to be in the same level as Uzumaki. She clicked her teeth. Even if she could get the bell, Uzumaki and Sasuke would be together. They would spend time together and then they could fall in love. It happened. Teammates had been known to fall for each other, and with how much authority figures liked Uzumaki, why would Sasuke be any different? If Uzumaki took good care of herself, she would have more boys liking her.

Kakashi-sensei said that if they untied Uzumaki, they would fail. Failing with Sasuke and Uzumaki was better than seeing Sasuke becoming a genin by himself. She turned in the direction of the tree stump. I hate Uzumaki but if I get her out, she might know how we can all become genin because if she can get her way into passing the Academy test, she probably know how to turn this around. She swallowed her bitterness. She needed to become a genin and if untying Uzumaki was the best way to do it, she would do it.

She just didn’t want to be left behind.

It had been four years since someone tied her up like this and Naruto would admit she hated it. The pressure against her ribs was that of a heavy metal pressed against it. The ropes burned her skin, brought an itch that she couldn’t reach. Sure, she could try and get out. It wouldn’t be her first disappearing act but Kakashi stated that if someone untied her, they all failed. She was, in a way, guaranteed a spot. Kakashi stated that if no one got a bell, she was in the program, and there was no chance that either of her teammates could get the bell. Not unless they worked together to beat a jounin.

She knew Sakura would be happy to work with Sasuke, it would be her dream, but Sasuke would never do it. He had always been terrible with working in a team even before his parents were murdered. He always tried to lead, never listened to others when they had something to say. Naruto hummed and closed her eyes. If Sakura tried to approach him, he wouldn’t listen unless he reached a point when he couldn’t get the bell. Even then he would realise Sakura lacked the skill needed to get the bell. He wouldn’t come get her because well he wouldn’t risk his shot.

Sakura would never untie her because she would never break the rules. It didn’t matter. She was going to pass because those two would never think of working together to surprise Kakashi. He knew it too. He had to because the way he designed his test was going to tear them apart. Did you know Naruto that all the villages operated in a minimum a team of 3? Was what the Hokage had told her once when she had been just a little bit younger. She had seen him sitting in his office, peering through information on Academy Graduates when he told her.

When Kakashi said he would tie her up and that untying her would cause all of them to fail, she had wondered if the Hokage had changed the rules. If they could go in individual missions with a Jounin. Anything was possible, she thought, but Kakashi was like Satoru. Her friend loved chaos so why wouldn’t his look-alike be the same? He loved to stir the pot. He was late and acted like they were the disrespectful ones when he was willing to make them psychologically weak and prone to hunger. Something like this would bring him some sick twisted joy.

He knew just like she did that her teammates wouldn’t work together, and he knew she wouldn’t risk untying herself. If it turned out, he was not bluffing then she would risk failing herself. If she remained tied up like a good hostage and those two failed to get a bell, she could find a way to turn things around. She always did. Her dream relied on her becoming a kunoichi. If she had to read every law, she would. Just like how she used Mizuki’s plan in her favour, she would know how to turn this around to make sure she passed.

She didn’t come this far only to fail.

Sakura seemed to have a similar thought because she was walking towards her instead of heading in god knew whatever direction Kakashi was supposed to be in. Schooling her expression into a smile, Naruto tilted her head at her pink-haired teammate. She didn’t see a smile on her face, just an ugly scowl on her lips. It would be easy to call her out but Kakashi might hear them. Her voice, she would admit, was loud. She waited till her teammate was right in front of her. “So I’m guessing you’re coming to untie me, Haruno?” She kept her voice casual as the birds scattered in the background.

Sakura clenched her jaw, her eyebrows twitching. “Don’t sound so smug, Uzumaki. I’m the one doing you a favour.” Naruto raised her eyebrow. It only infuriated the girl even more as she made her way behind the tree stump. “You expect me to believe you like being tied up like an animal on display? Even you wouldn’t want to do this just to get a chance to become a genin.”

She remained calm as she heard Sakura pulled something out of her pocket. A kunai, no doubt. “Whatever you say, Haruno,” she darted her eyes to the bushes. No sign of movement. Good, it meant Kakashi was nowhere near them. “Still, I’m surprised you would untie me,” the girl faltered and she continued to prattle. “I would expect that you would want Sasuke to pass, you’re so in love with him that something like this would hurt his chances.”

There was a long stretch of silence. A deep breath and then her teammate spoke with bitterness. “Why Sasuke? Why do you think it’s about him?”

Naruto remained silent. Because you don’t like me and I know you would do anything for him like some idiot. Her gaze met Sakura’s. There was an unspoken anger in her eyes, burning like a growing flame. She wondered if she had crossed the line, she never thought she would. Sasuke was all the girl ever talked about. She broke a friendship because of him. Not just any friendship but her deepest one. She couldn’t do that to Hinata. To Satoru.

“Because you care about him more than you care for yourself,” she said, dropping the act of being happy-go-lucky. “And if it was about yourself, you would try and get the bell because Kakashi-sensei said that you needed to get a bell from him.” She felt a cold metal against her skin. It reached further up to the ropes digging right into her skin. “Why else would you risk breaking a rule? I know you ain’t doing it from the goodness of your heart.”

Sakura grunted that meant she wasn’t denying it. She wasn’t even hesitating about cutting through the roles. “Kakashi-sensei is a jounin and he knows a 1000 jutsu,” she said with a small voice. “You think I don’t know I can’t beat him? My parents are genin, they never moved up a rank, and someone like Kakashi-sensei is just too strong for me to handle. I’m not stupid or reckless enough to risk my life.”

And Naruto would admit that Sakura was right, her teammate was smart enough to know there was a gap between them. The girl continued to cut through the rope, struggling but doing it. “Yes but you’re risking Sasuke’s chance to become a genin by doing this,” she said. Her skin was able to breath again. “Your chance too so why risk it for someone you hate? You would rather we all fail than for me to pass or for Sasuke to pass?”

The final rope fell on the ground like a lump of metal. Sakura swallowed. “You think I don’t know that but if Sasuke doesn’t get the bell, you pass and I’ll be with Sasuke but it means you’re better than me.” She looked almost disgusted at the idea and Naruto held herself back from scratching her eyes out. “If Sasuke gets the bell, I’m stuck with you and it means I’m no better than you. Even if I could get the bell, Sasuke is with you and he might fall for you.”

Naruto stared. “You know I like—”

“—Doesn’t matter, I’m not risking it!” Sakura hissed. “And I know you can figure out a way for all three of us to pass. I can’t figure out a way for Sasuke and me to pass together because there is only 1 bell, and I’m not sacrificing the bell for him.” She balled her hands into a fist and looked at the sky. “My mother will kill me if she knows I had a chance and then gave it up for him. She wants me to be better than her in everything, Uzumaki and you won’t get it.”

Her voice was bitter and angry in ways she had never heard before. She wondered if parents could be like that. Satoru had struggles but it came from his grandfather, not his parents. Grandfather expects me to be the best, if I’m not the best—he’ll be disappointed was what he would say. Mothers were probably the same. Would her own mother be like this? She would. If she wanted what was best for herself, her mother would expect the same.

“I don’t need a mother to understand Haruno,” she said, turning her body away. “You think I like not being able to afford the nice things in life? That my hair can be this ratty?” Her teammate remained silent, almost stunned. “You think I make fun of your crush on Sasuke because it’s childish? I do it because you’re lucky to think about these things; I want to be able to live just as cushy as you.” Sakura swallowed and Naruto shrugged. “I live in a crappy apartment, I’m sure if I had kids later—I’ll be all over their asses to be even better than me, so they won’t struggle like I did.” She shook her head. “But why come to me? You hate me.”

Sakura looked away, almost embarrassed. “Because I know Sasuke will never work with me and if you knew how to come this far after failing the Academy Test, you must know how we can become genins. I told you this already, Uzumaki! Do you want me to keep repeating I need your brains to figure out how we can all get what we want?”

“It does wonders to my ego,” she admitted without shame. The girl twitched and Naruto held her hands up. “And if we’re going to get Kakashi-sensei to let the three of us become genin…then we would need Sasuke.” Sakura stared, unconvinced. “C’mon you can’t expect to do this without him and then expect him to become a genin, I need him to earn it and realise that Kakashi was right to tie me up. You know just break his ego just a little bit.”

The girl pinched her nose. “Do that and he won’t work with us.”

“Hmm, I think he’ll realise he won’t be able to beat Kakashi,” Naruto bobbed her head. “Once he realized Kakashi is just playing with him, he is going to get frustrated and maybe even desperate.” Her lips twitched. “I’m sure he might decide to do what you did when he realizes that he’ll be stuck with you if he doesn’t get the bell, and he wants me to be his bodyguard. You know protection from you demanding dates from him.”

Sakura scowled.

“He doesn’t need protection and I’m not demanding for dates! I just want him to consider me.”

Naruto rolled her eyes.

“And I’m going to marry some billionaire and live in some big-ass clan compound with my five kids.”

Chapter Text

Sakura must have gone to rescue Naruto. The signs were clear to Kakashi when he didn’t see a single hint of Sakura being near Sasuke. When he drilled the poor boy into his spot and there was no scream from Sakura, he knew immediately something was up. From his own observations, from searching through her room and Naruto’s amusing commentary, he expected her to try and rescue him immediately. When he left, he hadn’t seen a hint of pink hair and Sakura was not the type to hide well. She lacked the talent to do it. She was also not the type to attack recklessly like Sasuke or Naruto, too much of a coward to risk her life in that way. If she was as smart as Iruka claimed she was, she would have gone to release Naruto because she would know her chance laid on her.

He let out a quiet chuckle as he jumped through the tree branches, heading straight towards the location of where he tied Naruto to be. In all honesty, he expected Sasuke to go for her. Not Sakura. She disliked Naruto, it was clear to him that much. But the fact she disliked her but was willing to release her from her prison meant her desire to pass was stronger than her desire for Sasuke to pass. Did it mean they passed his test? No. He needed more than just Sakura releasing Naruto for her to pass but he needed to confirm it within his own eyes. The very first step for the three of them to pass the exam.

There was a rustle in the ropes, a hint of it being crashed to the ground, and Kakashi’s lips twitched behind the mask. He suppressed his chakra and observed as Sakura argued with Naruto while she sliced through the ropes. So she wants to use Naruto because she thinks Naruto knows how the three of them can become a genin. He had to give her credit. Her selfishness was what was going to allow the three of them to pass. Right now, he didn’t care for her selfishness. In this case, it was beneficial but would her selfishness allow her to listen to someone, she thought was beneath of her?  And would Naruto be willing to unleash Sasuke from his trap despite the boy hadn’t saved her?

As Iruka had mentioned in his notes, Naruto was petty and no doubt she would be angry with Sasuke for not rescuing her immediately.

When Naruto was finally freed from the ropes, she rubbed her waist and arms before darting her eyes to the bushes. “So, let’s go get Sasuke.” Kakashi jerked his head at this sudden announcement. Luckily, the leaves didn’t rustle from his head striking against the tree. Sakura just stared; her green eyes widened with surprise. The girl clasped her hands behind her head. “We can’t leave him alone.”

Darting her eyes around the area, Sakura stated. “You just said that he would only help us when he’s desperate, he managed to touch a bell Uzumaki and I doubt he’ll be willing to help anytime soon.”

Uzumaki didn’t seem to care. Her lips twitched like she believed Sakura was the naïve one, and considering of what he observed of the Chaotic One, Sakura was indeed the naïve one. The one who would need to be broken to walk a straight path. “Sure? Kakashi was either just playing with him or just underestimated Sasuke, either way—Sasuke is going to be desperate by the time we get there.” Her voice carried confidence, a cocky confidence that reminded him of Kushina. “He has to know Kakashi-sensei ain’t dumb or that weak to let Sasuke touch the bell.”

Sakura growled. “Well, he’s better than you.”

“He’s less crafty than me and he has more opportunities than me or you,” Naruto stated with a casual shrug. Kakashi raised his eyebrow at her blunt assessment while Sakura just stared at the girl. The blond-haired girl clasped her hands behind her head. “One of his cousins was a jounin, his brother too and you can’t expect me to believe that they didn’t give him a leg up when they were here. He isn’t a complete genius; he just knows his stuff and is dedicated—not better than me”

The pink-haired girl narrowed her eyes and voiced the observation that came to his mind. “You know a lot about Sasuke for someone who claims not to have a crush on him.” Naruto just stared, blank-faced, and the girl probed on. “How do you know his brother was a jounin? Or that his cousin was one too if you didn’t watch him?”

The Chaotic One smiled slyly, her eyes darkened with amusement. “Unlike you, I never had a curfew and you can learn so much about a clan when no one thinks you’re listening.” Kakashi thinned his lips behind his mask as the girl stared at her tree stump. “And his cousin was nice to me. His Dad too whenever he caught me doing pranks, gave me a slap on the wrist and painfully asked me not to do it again. Obviously, I didn’t listen ‘cuz well I liked his strict Dad. He didn’t think I was some kind of bad seed or whatever crappy thing adults think I am.”

Kakashi closed his eyes. With her behaviour, it was rather easy for people to assume Naruto was not her father’s child but in moments like these was where he could clearly see the little glimpses of Minato-sensei in her. Not the casualness but in the sharpness of her observations. He could see why the Hokage had such high hopes for her, not because she was Minato-sensei’s daughter but for her sharpness. With more training, she would be a force to handle because nothing escaped her attention.

Sakura blinked, then swallowed. “You noticed?” Naruto nodded and the girl probed on. “If you noticed it, then why don’t you change? Act differently so people won’t talk about you?”

The Chaotic One placed her fingers together and quirked her lips into a slight smile. “You mean behave like you? Why should I change myself just to get their approval? I’m going to become someone so amazing that they would have no choice but to zip their mouths. You think people can say crap about the Hokage about what they did in their childhood?” Kakashi swallowed a quiet laugh at her naïve words while Sakura stared. “They can’t say a thing ‘cuz their little brains can’t wrap around the idea of how someone so chaotic can become so great, instead they’ll only say the great stuff about them.”

The pink-haired girl snorted. “You really don’t know a thing, Uzumaki.”

“Hmm, I know more than you,” declared Uzumaki with such casual confidence that made his lips twitched. That, he decided, was her mother shining through her except Kushina would never be that blatant about knowing more. He heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. She was a good mixture of her parents but her own person, he acknowledged. The level of scrappiness she had was all her own. Those two would have been proud of her and the way she was carrying herself despite the backlash on her. They would also be pissed with the villagers, with Kushina demanding to fight every mother that talked about her daughter. He grimaced. In some ways, the mothers were lucky that Kushina was not alive because he doubted they would have gotten away with their manners.

There was a loud pop. The birds scattered from above him and Kakashi found himself looking down to see an exact copy of Naruto. Judging from the way the grass crunched on the floor, the shadow that graced the green grass, this had to be a shadow clone. Impressive but not unsurprising. From what he recalled, this jutsu would be easy for someone like Naruto. She had the chakra to do it, perhaps even more if one pushed her, but it seemed like his chaotic student had chosen to use one. Knowing her, she probably thinks about using her clone to take her place. That was the only explanation he could make with the knowledge he had on her.

“Wait, why is your clone solid?” Sakura asked, circling around the clone. Her voice carried hints of curiosity, but he also heard the disbelief in her voice. “A normal bushin jutsu wouldn’t cause shadows or be able to stand on the grass. This isn’t something that could be done, Uzumaki. How the hell can you do this? Who taught you this?”

The girl kept a smile and offered a casual shrug. “I call it—the Shadow Clone Jutsu; it’s more advanced than the bunshin jutsu, do you really think if I created the Sexy Jutsu, I wouldn’t try to make something like this?” Kakashi hummed. A lie. A clever one, he mused. The girl had done it in her class so much that everyone in the village knew about it. A vulgar jutsu as many people would say. People would believe it if they didn’t do digging, but he read the report. The Third Hokage had given him a hint before he came to this exam site. Naruto has a few tricks on her sleeves was what the old man had said in a brisk tone. There had been a subtle layer of pride in his voice too but he dismissed it at the time. It was the guardian in him that held the pride, not the leader of this village.

Uzumaki Naruto, he acknowledged, was going to go places if she kept this up.

“You can’t be thinking of using your clone to seduce Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura sounded so horrified that Kakashi found himself thinning his lips at her. At the implication. There were men, he acknowledged, who would think of touching young girls. It was the innocence that thrilled them. But a little girl even with a henge would stir nothing for him. He knew better than to fall for such things. The blond just stared blankly at her and the girl prattled on. “You can’t be that desperate for us to get—”

“—Get your mind out of the gutter,” Uzumaki stated, whacking the girl on the back of her head as her clone stood against the tree trump. “If a random girl came into the field and just start seducing him, Kakashi-sensei will just know something is up. You think men just spill things based on a pretty face? It takes weeks, maybe even years before they babble but if they’re idiots—give ‘em a few hours. Kakashi-sensei doesn’t seem like he’ll just spill because of a pretty face.”

Sakura jerked her head. “And you’re basing it off on what? His looks?”

“I think the fact he’s a jounin should speak for himself,” Uzumaki said, tying her clone up. He observed the way she tied her clone, not the exact same knot that he used. His knot had been tighter, a subtle warning for her not to undo the knot, while hers seemed looser. “Y’know if you want the good stuff, you better not fall for petty tricks or else you’ll destroy the village’s security or something. Y’know there’s a reason we don’t have a lot of jounins ‘cuz not everyone meets the Hokage and the council’s requirements. Becoming a chunin not as difficult as becoming a jounin.”

Sakura eyed her. “You know a lot about these things for someone who skips class.”

“Cuz I don’t need to go to the Academy and hear them talk about it, I can just walk through the streets and hear the constant whining of the chunins that are upset about not being promoted,” Naruto declared. She bobbed her head and looked at the sky. “Right, we should start heading off before Kakashi-sensei comes and ruins my plan of getting payback.” He was going to ruin it, just not by ruining her plans right now. Chaotic as she was, Naruto needed to learn to always keep her guard up.

He kept his distance from them, subtly letting his chakra leak to see if one of them would have noticed. Neither of them did. The Chaotic One didn’t give a hint she noticed it, no subtle tension on her shoulder as she jumped through the trees with Sakura. Ms. Goody Two Shoes didn’t notice but he expected it. Talented in theoretical aspects but adequate in the practical aspects, she wouldn’t have the sensitivity to feel for his chakra. Chaotic would—she had been in enough danger to at least sense a chunin.

When the girls stopped to where he pinned Sasuke, he decided to stop just above them in the trees. This time, he squashed his chakra levels to the point that only a very sensitive sensor could detect. Sasuke was to his greatest amusement still hammered into the ground, head stuck out like an ostrich. The boy had an ugly scowl on his face, but he did tell him that he would come from underneath, it was not his fault that the boy didn’t jump far away from his attack. The kid had been arrogant and naïve to think he could defeat him that easily.

The Chaotic One stared at Sasuke for a moment. A long stretch of silence before she busted out into a barrel of laughter. “Looks like the great Uchiha Sasuke had truly been hammered down.” Kakashi let out a quiet laugh while Sasuke and Sakura narrowed their eyes at her. The blond-haired girl just pouted. “C’mon, it was funny! His ego is so high that he kinda deserves this.”

Sasuke made a face. “How did you get out?”

“Obviously Sakura got me out ‘cuz she had the brains to know she can’t do this by herself…unlike you.” Naruto shrugged and looked at Sasuke with blank eyes. “What the hell were you thinking when you decided to go after a jounin? That you had the skills to go after him, you think you could defeat your brother with the skill set?” He growled and Naruto poked him hard on the forehead, if the wince was of any indication. “Don’t growl at me, someone needs to remind you that you were being a big idiot and it certainly ain’t Ms. Drools a Lot.”

“You’re speaking big for someone who needed me to untie her,” Sakura barked.

The blond-haired girl just gave her a blank look. “I could’ve gotten myself out, I just didn’t want to risk Kakashi-sensei failing me for being a self-sacrificing idiot. You untying me? Gives me all the power to say that you were the one who took the risk and offered me a deal that I just couldn't refuse.” Her lips curved into a sly smile. “If you were confident you could get the bell and could get Mr. Big Ego to work with you, you would’ve left me to rot.”

Sakura bristled but didn’t argue against her. Kakashi studied them for a moment. The Hokage had told him about her capabilities, he hadn’t told him about the level of cunningness that Naruto had. At 12, she was clearly showing to him at least—she was truly being groomed by the Hokage to know the power of manipulation. He wouldn’t have known to do what the girl had done at that age. He lacked the social grace. Minato-sensei wasn’t this smart with people nor Kushina. This was a child that knew how to twist the truth into her own advantage.

If a man like Danzo got his hands on her, erased all of her emotions, then he understood why the Third Hokage needed her to pass. It wasn’t just the Kyuubi that the Hokage was concerned about, it was that level of intelligence in her. She had the charisma. The wit. That wit would make the man interested in putting her in locations where she could cause terror without leading it back to the village. His hand began to shake as his mind raced. I really can’t fail this team, knowing this. The pressure was one thing but this? This was a risk he could not take.

“Get me out of here!” Sasuke barked. It was just loud enough for Kakashi’s mind to return to reality.

Sakura sunk down to the ground, her hands curled into a crawl but Uzumaki grabbed her hand. There was a mischievous glint on her lips, the kind that even made his stomach coiled. He had seen blood, had seen dead corpses but that smile reminded him of a sadistic joy. “Hold your ropes, Sakura. We can’t just rescue Sasuke, he hasn’t given us any reason to save his ass.”

The boy clenched his jaw. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“I only wish I had a photo to show how far you fell,” Naruto bobbed her head. “You want out—you help us, and I’ll never tell Kiba about what happened to you. You know he’ll babble to everyone, and everyone knows if it comes from me, it has to be the truth. I always look for reasons to bring that huge head down a notch.”

Kakashi closed his eyes.

He had a menace, and he needed to keep Gai away from her. She was going to find ways to destroy his hard-earned reputation.

His father had never been the type to go out of his way to see him. Father had been the type to fret over Mother and Satoru understood why he spend most of his free time with her. Father, he came to understand, fell for Mother first and relied on her in ways he could never quite understand. Your mother makes your father weak, never fall for a pretty face was how his grandfather would scoff whenever his father dared to show a shadow of emotion in front of him. Satoru always remained silent, to point out that he allowed his parent’s marriage because of his greedy desire to have a child like him. To say it would make his grandfather smile. He would state that if it would allow him to gain more power then he would use it.

Grandfather was away, on business but Satoru supposed he was out to meet one of his lady friends. He had seen them once—young enough to be the same age as his mother but Mother was prettier. She didn’t wear the same heavy make-up as them, they looked like clowns if you asked him. Mother had remained silent when he told her about seeing them coming out from Grandfather’s room, but her face had turned stone cold. She hadn’t uttered a word; she just took a deep breath. I’ll have a word with him about where he meets his lady guest, he wouldn’t want his precious grandson to grow the same weakness that he has. It had been curt, and it was the last time he saw those female guests.

Father took a seat right beside him, his brown eyes focused on the television screen. His face didn’t have the same blankness but an awkward expression like sitting in this soft couch was difficult. “So…how’s Naruto?” His father pulled on his collar, looking anywhere but at the sudden television advertisement. At the couple of kids waving off the newest gadget to get some kid to buy. “Is she doing alright? You two haven’t been arguing, have you?”

Satoru just stared. Arguing with Naruto? He didn’t argue with her; she would find something to nitpick about—and usually he deserved it. He just had to open his mouth, talk a little bit like his grandfather and she would rip him apart. Annoying girl had to make him stop and think of what he had to say. He exhaled and stared at the screen. If it wasn’t for her, he probably would never think about being careful of what he said to her especially when that bastard of a teacher tried to touch her. He shook his head. Naruto was doing her best to move on from it, he shouldn’t focus on how a teacher could try and touch her.

“You never asked about her,” he kept his tone expressionless as his eyes focused on the screen. “Mother asks about her but you never do. Did Mother want you to have a talk with me about her? Because if it’s the bird-and-bees, Grandfather already gave me the talk.” His father maintained a mask of blankness, but Satoru did not miss the twitch in his eyebrows. “I’m not listening to his advice or his words—I know what he says is going to get me into more trouble than its worth.”

His father closed his eyes and massaged his temple. “He has overstepped his bounds.”

There was no need for him to state that Grandfather played a bigger role in raising him, that Grandfather loved him for his Limitless and Six Eyes and that his grandfather didn’t want him to be like Father. Love is a weakness, and you shall not be like him. Any weakness you have, Satoru—destroy it before someone takes advantage of it. He would say it while holding his crane and scoffing at the singing birds. He didn’t want to be like Father either. Father was weak, not for loving Mother, but for letting Grandfather hold so much power. Father was the head, not Grandfather. Grandfather had vices, Father did not.

“If you think I like Naruto in that way, then tell Mum not to worry—she ain’t my type,” he declared, clasping his hands behind his head. The television resumed its program, the bright lights drew him in but the silence from his father made him swallow. A glance at his father showed that his mask was still there. No hint of his feelings. Mother would laugh and tell him that he was still too young but Father remained silent. Like always. “She isn’t all that cute, except maybe when she plays with me, and I don’t think she has time for that. She has big dreams—Grandfather would think she’s stretching—but she is going to achieve it. After all, she has me as her lucky charm.”

His father let out a quiet laugh, barely audible but it was the first time he ever laughed without Mother being around. “Lucky charm? From what your mother told me, she sounds like a spitfire—almost like your grandmother.” He blinked at his father and his father exhaled. “You know your grandmother used to be a spitfire or so my grandparents told me, but your grandfather just killed all the fire in her. He never liked a strong woman.” He exhaled and looked at the photo of Grandmother. She never smiled in photos. “You remembered the worst parts of her, don’t you?”

He did. The fights with Mother about how Father showed his devotion to her. The snide comments when Mother did her hair or whenever she showered him with affection. Mother took it with a smile, it only made her angrier. When Grandmother died, he had been pleased. The screaming would stop. His mother could walk around without worrying about Grandmother running into her. It didn’t matter she made cookies for him, she always hurt his mother. Mother never complained and looking back, he thought it made her stronger. Made her hold all the power.

“She hurt Mother.”

His father nodded. “She had hopes I would treat her in the same way Father did,” he looked at the screen with blank eyes. “The same cold words he would say to her but she could never understand why I chose her when her own brother didn’t choose his soulmate. She thought I would choose political power like your Grandfather but I chose a woman of a humbler background.” He exhaled. “She believed I would cheat on your mother like Father did but I never wanted you to witness what I witnessed growing up. You know I have a sister, don’t you? An older one?”

He jerked his head. “A sister? Grandfather—”

“—Doesn’t acknowledge her unless he wanted to hurt your Grandmother by reminding her that he could have children easily,” his father stated. “I never met her, don’t know her name or what happened to her, but it was just those little things that made her become a bitter woman.” He exhaled. “I don’t resent my half-sister, pity her for being born as a bastard and a girl. In the eyes of your grandfather, she held no use but to be a political gain—even then she wasn’t the right age to be a bargaining tool.”

Father never uttered such things unless he had a point. Satoru thinned his lips. “Why are you telling me this? I’m 13. I’m never going to get married.”

“You say that now, but the future is unpredictable, you don’t know what the future holds,” his father quietly said with eyes softer than he had ever seen. “Your mother hoped to have a house filled with children, to be healthy and tease you when you find the girl that you want to spend the rest of your life with—we don’t know if she will live that long.” The television became silent as his father looked at him. “I believed naively that marrying your mother will allow me to escape this compound, but it never happened.”

“Is that why you married Mother—for freedom?”

Father closed his eyes. “No, I married her because I was as selfish as your Grandfather.” He stared at his father, heart racing, as the man looked at the window. “Your mother never say it but I know she resents me for forcing her hand, for telling her that if I don’t marry her—I’ll become like your Grandfather. That I’ll ruin my wife by seeing her because I refuse to have a child with anyone but her.” He stared and his father looked at him. “I’m telling you this because you’re old enough to understand. Don’t be selfish like me or your Grandfather—if you meet someone, let them go.”

He didn’t say anything. There was nothing for him to say except to look at the dull television screen.

“You don’t need to worry about that, Father. I’ll never be like you or Grandfather.”

Chapter Text

They were hidden deep in the green bushes, her and Sasuke while Sakura was on the other side of the field. For their plan to work, she needed her pink-haired teammate not to be near them. She always seemed to be unbearable when Sasuke was near her, she needed her to focus for them to pass. Kakashi was right in the middle of the field, reading an orange book. The erotic ones that the book store owner put in the back, she had tried to get her hand on it once. Research purpose for her sexy jutsu, it was written by well-known pervert as every housewife whispered in the streets.  A subtle warning to each other about supporting the man for his writing but she had seen them in that section, secretly buying the book under disguise. Hypocrites the lot of them. More girls bought his books than boys. She kept count, even had proof for it for the day when one of them crossed the line.

Sasuke pushed the leaves to the side, his eyes were focused on their genin instructor while his hand clutched the wire that would set off the trap. She had asked him if he was certain about the position, he had given her a look and stated in that cocky voice of his that Uchihas never miscalculated with shuriken and kunai. If he was wrong, she was going to remind him of this everyday. He exhaled. “You really think he’s going to fall for this plan of yours?”

“We want to surprise him,” she said irritably. “And what do you think will surprise him more—you attacking him again like an idiot and showing that you’re desperate or Ms. Goody Two Shoes who is too scared to take a risk? Explain to me which one will give you a moment of surprise ‘cuz your trick last time? Shows how much of a reckless idiot you are and he expects you to do it again because let’s face it—you’re crap at teamwork.”

From the way he gave her a dead look, she knew he thought she wasn’t any better but this was not the time for her to point out the obvious—she always worked with Hinata, Shikamaru or Kiba while he never bothered to partner up with anyone. None of the boys really liked working with him—they thought he was stuck up while girls allowed him to do all the work. A bunch of lazy asses. He jerked his finger at Kakashi. “He’s a jounin.”

“And where was that obvious fact when you decided you were strong enough to beat a Jounin? Don’t talk about my plan being dumb when your plan was even dumber than mine.” He glared kunais at her but she snapped her fingers at him. “You want me not to say that shit again—use your head and not make me think why the hell you deserve to have all that praise when the only thing you got going for you is your last name.”

His voice did not betray his annoyance, but his word choice did. “Bossy.”

A long stare. Then, “You want me to fall on my ass and act like Sakura and your fangirls after you messed up?”

“Point.” It wasn’t a full-blown agreement but she would take it as a win. She pulled out her kunai, blade faced upwards and the light refracted at Sakura’s hiding spot. Just sharp enough to blind the girl to charge into action. Someone like Sakura, known for being a stupid stickler for the rules would never be considered for this role. Sakura had argued, asked her if she wanted her to get killed until Sasuke had painfully reminded her that she was supposed to be tied up. One word from him and she shut up. Really, the Hokage screwed her over by assigning Sakura with her.

The bushes hustled as thieves did when  Sakura charged straight towards Kakashi with waving fists reminiscent of a baby. Not her finest work but Sakura had always been terrible when it came to taijutsu, decent in strategy but when it came to fighting with her fist? She was better off with poison and kunai.  Kakashi didn’t look away from his book, just captured Sakura’s tiny fist with his hand. “Hmm, I didn’t think you would be so eager to fight me,” he mocked. Sakura trembled, trying and failing to get her fist out. “I thought you would rely on Sasuke to get the bell or just let him win.”

Irritable, Sakura clenched her jaw as if those words triggered her. “I didn’t come this far just to let him become a shinobi.”

Kakashi just hummed, nothing unusual but the utter calmness in his action brought a sense of unease down her spine. No praise from him. No hint of surprise in his lone eye. Sasuke must have the same concern because he nudged her ribs. A sharp one. “He knows.” His eyes were focused entirely on their genin instructor. “His words doesn’t match his behaviour—when I attacked him, he reacted. He knows something is up.”

She remained silent for a moment. A length before she puffed her cheeks at him. “And how would he know? If he checked up on me, he would’ve seen a clone. I tied it the same way he tied his loop, maybe a little bit looser ‘cuz it hurt when he tied me y’know.” A subtle roll of his eyes and she growled. “Try being tied up until it felt like the ropes are digging into your skin—ain’t nice.” Naruto exhaled. “I did all the basics of covering my tracks so how could he know?”

His tone became slightly mocking. “Looks like you forgot he’s a jounin too.” She stared at him and he gave her that annoying smirk. “If your plan worked—Sakura would have landed a hit like you predicted.”  His voice was now blunt as a knife and she just gave him the finger. His eyes remained blank as their teammate swirled her leg at Kakashi, only for it to lay limply against his fist. “He might know you’re out of the ropes too.”

That was true. He was a Jounin, probably thought through numerous scenarios of how this would work. She rubbed her chin as Kakashi tossed Sakura to the side. Their teammate cried loud enough to startle the birds from their hiding spot. She scowled. “If you’re right then what’s your plan—smart guy? Sakura is getting absolutely trashed by him and I ain’t dealing with her hovering mother! Have you met her? She seems like a monster to live with.”

A moment of silence. He turned his head. “That’s your job.”

“Funny way of saying you don’t know how to turn this around for us.” He gave her the finger but she didn’t flinch. Instead, she closed her eyes. Today was not going to be the day when she couldn’t pass the genin exams. She could have stayed tied up but Sakura decided to release her in exchange of finding a way for them to pass. But what could she do? If he knew she was untied, then he knew she would go for the bell. The most predictable thing was for her to fight him and have Sasuke get the bell, which was why…

It dawned on her. “We switch it around—you get the bell while I fight Kakashi.”

Kakashi called her the chaotic one because he knew she didn’t follow the storm. He knew if she was released, she would use her escape to get the bell because she wouldn’t believe he knew. He had her. But if she went with this route, predictable then just maybe they had a chance. Sasuke loosened his grip on the string but stared at their shaking teammate. “How do you know I won’t sacrifice either of you?”

“Do it and I promise to make your life a living hell. You know I can do it.”

Wordlessly, he handed her the string and grabbed the kunai. This time, he directed the light directly at Sakura’s eye. Just sharp enough to blind her and a hint for her to do better. The girl scowled, wiped the blood leaking out of her mouth, and charged straight at Kakashi. The man chuckled and this time he took a step forward. “You should give up—you are never getting the bell. You’re too weak to be a shinobi.” He was trying to rile her up, Naruto knew but she didn’t understand. What did he gain? Make Sakura give up because if the girl was willing to bleed for her role, she had to give her credit for her guts.

“You think I don’t know that, but my parents didn’t send me to the Academy to quit!” Sakura roared. She panted and looked at the bushes before prattling on. “I don’t have Uzumaki’s strength or  Sasuke’s brains but I deserve to pass! I’m willing to do whatever it takes to pass even if I have to make you take me seriously!” The words were directed right at them, a signal for them to come and rescue her from this mess. Naruto grinned and tugged on the ninja wire. A series of kunais and shurikens came hurling straight at him, and she took this as her opportunity to reveal herself.

The fact his eye didn’t widen at the shuriken or kunais spoke volumes of his knowledge. A silent confirmation he knew this whole time. What showed his surprise, Naruto thought with a cackle on her lips, was when she slammed her fist against the ground. The ground cried, then gave out. The man stumbled and quickly captured her fist. “So you decided to attack me instead of having Sasuke attack me.” She blinked as the man cradled her fist. “You didn’t expect me not to know about your little plan of using Sakura as bait, did you?”

Her mouth became dry as a desert. “How did you know?”

“I knew when Sakura didn’t cry out to save Sasuke that something was up,” he explained, releasing her fist. He closed his book while she grabbed Sakura, steadying her bleeding teammate. “I had a hunch she would go after you since she’s terrible at hiding.” Sakura flinched but the man continued with his observation. “But Iruka mentioned Sakura was incredibly intelligent, if she was smart—she would have gone and rescued the wild card.”

Just a little bit more talking and maybe Sasuke would get the bell. She swallowed. “Yes but Sakura hates me.”

“She does but if her feelings for Sasuke were as strong as you made them out to be, she would be selfish enough to release you but I wanted to see if she was willing to sacrifice her pride and ask you for help or if she would just let Sasuke get the bell.” His tone held hint of amusement. “Fortunately, she decided to be selfish and use you as a chance for her and Sasuke to become shinobi.”

She frowned. “And what made you think I’ll help her? I could have chosen to stay tied up.”

“You could have but I know you and the Hokage were close,” she stiffened as Sakura gave her a irritable look at this confirmation. Yes, they were close but the Hokage lost her trust when he refused to tell her about why the Hokage knew to pick her. When he still refused to give her any hint about her parents. “I know he would have told you about the format of the team, you wouldn’t risk it if you didn’t think there was a chance the format was still the same. Genins always worked in a group of 3.”

Just as he said this, Sasuke grabbed the bell but it was pointless at this point. The man knew. As if to signal their idiocity, the bell exploded to reveal a leaf. Kakashi laughed and pulled out the bell, a clear mocking jingle while Sasuke glared at him. “I never let my guard down even while I’m talking,” he warned them. “Nice attempt—just enough for the three of you to pass.” They just stared, taken back, and his eye smiled. “You should be proud—you’re the first team I passed in three years.”

Sakura swallowed. “We’re the first?”

Kakashi nodded and gave them a hard look. “And because you’re the first, I’ll be expecting more from all of you.” His tone became harder and colder as his eye rested on her and Sasuke. “I’m disappointed in the two of you. “Naruto—I expected trickery. The chunin never could catch your trail, but I did without much problem. Sasuke—you, of all people, should’ve known the importance of a three-man cell. You had insider details when you were a little kid.”

It was a warning for them. Next time, they wouldn’t get away with their stunt.

Soulmate dreams always took place in their respective homes but today’s dream, Satoru realised with a fluttering heart was outside of the cage of his home. It was in the fields, the rare ones his mother would take him whenever his grandfather relented to his mother’s silly demands as the old man deemed them to be. He liked them. It was where he could pretend for one moment, for one wild moment he was just like any other boy. The fact the sky was painted in dull shades of blue, the clouds were now sagging and yet there were stars painted right above them. From underneath his feet, he heard the soft sigh of the grass, felt almost the cloudiness of the grass and wondered if he could just sleep on the grass.

It seemed like Naruto had the same idea because his soulmate laid on the grass, arms stretched out like a starfish with her eyes completely closed. From where he stood, he saw the black circles underneath her eyes and the bruises littered around her usually tanned skin. She looked peaceful, almost like an angel but the moment she opened her mouth, he knew this image would be destroyed and he would be reminded of the fact that sereneness did not suit her. He should keep his mouth shut, lie down beside her and not ruin this image but true silence had never been their thing. Quietness, he came to learn, was a sign of fear.

When Grandfather was in the compound, the whole household was silent. The maids feared letting out a laugh, his mother had to maintain her serene smile and uttered such silky words not to anger his grandfather. Father withdrew even more. His screen time would be limited until the old man was proud of his progress. Distractions are for the weak and undisciplined was what his grandfather would state in his cold, gravely voice when he caught him watching Digimon. Not for you was what his grandfather meant. The one with the strongest potential would not be undisciplined.

“Y’know our environment reflects one of our states,” he said, stretching his arms outwards. There was no weight on them like the boulder of burden had been lifted off of him for today’s dream. ‘But I think it’s the first time our body reflected our feeling—you look like absolute shit. What did that guy do to you for you to come into the dream looking like you barely won a fight.”

She opened her eyes and turned to the side. “Probably because after I was done with the test, Kakashi-sensei decided that we needed a crash course of how stupid we are of thinking that we can take him.” He wanted to know what it was like to fight that guy, if he was that powerful. Could he beat his grandfather? Grandfather was strong. Stronger than Father. But he was also old and one day, he would be strong enough to make the old man cower in fear of him.

“Wanna tell me what he did?” Satoru asked. Just some ideas for the future on how to create a beautiful chaos for his grandfather if his father died before Grandfather. For the day when he would make his grandfather realise he held no real power against him. “And you don’t sound happy about passing—I thought it’s your dream to become a shinobi or something.” She narrowed her eyes, clearly irritated and he grinned. She was always more fun when he purposely forgot her real dream. “C’mon I know your dream is to become Hokage—the first female Hokage—but you can’t become Hokage if you aren’t a shinobi.”

Her gaze was tired. “I’m happy but Kakashi-sensei expects us to do better ‘cuz we’re the first team he had ever passed. Apparently he has high standards and we barely met them—so now we need to prove to him that we deserve our place.” Her mood seemed to hint even more of her feelings about the matter. “I know he can’t kick us out of the program now he approved us, but it feels like he doesn’t want us to coast by.”

It sounded like grandfather. Grandfather was never completely pleased whenever he managed to do a task, not like before. Each day, Grandfather wanted better. Better precision. More power. Less injuries. I’m doing it for your own good was what the old man would say in his ear. Death was inevitable in their society. Either he became strong or he died like all those before him. Grandfather wanted him to live so he could carry on the family line. Grandfather said that he only had Father and him, but Father said he had a half-sister. An older one. She must have a kid that could carry this curse.

“If he lets you coast by—you die,” he said. He didn’t feel a crumble of fear in his gut at the thought of Naruto dying. The image was just too difficult for him to picture, not when she could just talk her way out of getting killed. Her words were brash but she could be real persuasive when needed. “And if you guys die, it reflects poorly of him ‘cuz he’s the one that said you guys passed. It feels like it’s only right you show him he didn’t make a mistake.”

“You think I don’t know that—my whole plan needs me to jump through the ranks ‘cuz I wanna take on more difficult jobs to get more money. Even if I remain a genin for years on end, unless I show ‘em I’ve the strength and the brains to do an A-rank mission then I’ll be stuck with low-paying jobs. People will look down on me and I refuse to let ‘em think they are better than me. Can you imagine? Me? The one who was willing to do whatever it takes to become a shinobi, only for some lazy ass to get a better rank than me.”

Disappointment. Unfair.

And it explained Naruto’s feelings. She was obviously thinking about proving herself to her society about underestimating her. About thinking so low on her capabilities. He stared at the sagging clouds. In many ways, he could never understand her. From the moment he was born with Six Eyes and Limitless, people expected the best of him. Not like her. In some ways, he respected her even more. More than Grandfather. More than Father.

He shook his head. “And so shouldn’t you just use this as more motivation to prove him wrong? Cuz it sounds like he believes in you and your team, and you told me that no adult has ever believed in you until you forced them to really look at you. Sounds like this Kakashi guy is what you really need.”

“Right because I need someone to tie me up or have a perverted mentor,” she spoke firmly but irritably. “Still I respect him more than the housewives. Y’know they are more likely to buy those dirty books in secret, then complain about the author writing those books but when he publishes more of those books—they’re the first ones buying those books. He doesn’t pretend not to like ‘em and so I respect him about being honest about his bad habits.”

He snorted. “I don’t respect my Grandfather because of his bad habits. Y’know he talks shit about my father loving my mother when he went out of his way to cheat on my grandmother.” She jerked her head, a look of surprise and confusion on her face. He frowned. “Why are you giving me that look? You can’t think I should respect him because he can’t keep it in his pants.” He stared at the whimpering clouds. “Grandmother was mean to Mother because he hurt her. If he respected Grandmother, Mother wouldn’t always feel the need to smile and utter the words she wanted to hear.”

Her gaze met his. She didn’t smile nor frown.

“I think you’re the first guy I knew who talks like that—the idea of him being with his wife and only his wife,” Naruto said. She looked back at the clouds, no longer sagging but firm. The skies remained its dull hues. “Men from clans—the really rich ones are expected to have side pieces but they know better than to make themselves known. Only Sasuke’s Dad was known for never having one. Shikamaru’s Dad doesn’t have one but everyone knows he’s scared of his wife. She would kill him if he dared to disrespect her.” She flickered her eyes at him. “You think your Dad is like that ‘cuz your Mum is his soulmate.”

Until Father mentioned witnessing Grandmother’s pain, he would think the same thing. Why else would Father refuse to follow in Grandfather’s steps of his ladies friends? Of those dirty bars? Grandfather wanted him to follow the same thing. But Mother suffered and he refused to bend to the man’s will. This was beyond Father, Grandfather or him. Any woman, he decided, would never be like his bitter Grandmother. Not that he wanted marriage or a relationships. If a girl wasn’t as fiery as Naruto, they would crush under Grandfather’s thumb. To be apart of his clan, he decided, would mean they would have to either find a way to survive his grandfather or make the old man bow down to her will.

“Father doesn’t do it because he doesn’t want Mother to hurt like Grandmother did, not because they’re soulmates.”  The pause wasn’t deliberate, he just needed to find the right words to explain it to her. “Father basically forced Mother’s hand—either she remains his fiancé or he cheats on his wife with her. Since she knows what Father went through, she did it not just ‘cuz she loved him but also because she didn’t want me to be a bastard. She’s kind, more kind than Father deserves.”

Father should have let her go. He caged her. Caged him. Maybe if Father hadn’t given the option, Mother would be well. Still strong and not growing weaker by the day.

“Y’know when you say these things, you make me feel less worried about us being soulmates,” she had confessed, laughing so freely that he couldn’t help but smile at her. “I know you say it doesn’t change a thing but when you say that—it shows being soulmates ain’t something constraining. I can still be my own person, nothing like those stupid books Sakura read. I thought y’know when people are soulmates then everything changes. I thought I should be seeing you like how Sakura sees Sasuke but you ain’t that charming for me.”

He knew it because with her, he didn’t need to play the part of heir. So he said the next best thing. “I told you, didn’t I? Mother says we don’t need to marry each other or fall for each other, I’m just happy to have you as a best friend…even if you’re a girl.” This was the closest he would ever come to saying about his feelings towards her. “The fact we’re soulmates just means to me, I can talk to you without someone spilling the beans to Grandfather. He always ruined everything and I guess you make me a better person. Of course, I’ve always been—”

“—If you say you’ve always been a good person, let me remind you of what you did to deserve the punch.”

And that was why Naruto was his soulmate. She never let him live it down. Always making him be responsible and boring with his words. He chuckled and nudged her shoulder. “Never going to let me forget, are you?”

“You’re the reason I made a scale,” she retorted. She looked almost blissfully happy like an angel and he ignored the sudden flutter in his stupid stone cold heart. Then she looked almost thoughtful, almost embarrassed as her eyes avoided his own. Nervously, she continued. “And since you’re being honest for once, I guess you’re one of the reasons I am able to achieve my goals ‘cuz you always found ways to help me pass my theoretical exam and kept pushing me to do better. So thank you.”

He laughed. “C’mon you can do better! I deserve a kiss on the cheek or something.”

“Be glad I said thank you,” she retorted. He laughed and then blinked when the girl gave him a quick peck on his cheek. It was warm. Warmer than he ever expected from her. His cheeks burned just a little bit while his hand threatened to grab his cheek. Those blue eyes glowed with mischief and smugness. “That’s the first and last time you would ever get a peck from me! Be glad I did it, y’know no one except Hinata gets this from me! So consider yourself lucky.”

When she did this, it made him think that she had a soft side and it wasn’t fair. She was supposed to be a troll not some kind of mischievous woodland creature.

“I think you gave me cooties.”

Chapter Text

His grandfather and parents had always told him never to go outside of the compound without anyone. He knew his parents would worry for a moment, would scold him out of love, but if Grandfather found out then the old man would be more intense in his training. Such foolishness means I’ve gone easy in disciplining you was what his grandfather would say before barking at him to go to the training hall. Despite the risk of punishment, he snuck out of the clan compound and went to the city. A quick trip to get some more Digimon cards since the servants kept refusing to buy him more despite his attempt of bribing.

Your grandfather has given us specific orders to stop buying you your Digimon, he believes you need to outgrow your childish hobbies. The word choice of childish told him that it was not the servant’s belief, only his grandfather would dare to say it to him. He didn’t care. Naruto could go out of her apartment, did jobs for her village—even if it sounded like her villagers were filled with lazy asses that couldn’t be bothered to do their own work. Why should he be stuck inside the clan compound when he can destroy curses? When one look at his eyes could terrify the assassins. So he went out and bought his Digimon cards without alerting anyone. Easy to do when the servants fretted over his mother, when his father did paperwork and his grandfather was out in the back, smoking his cigars. Real men did it as his grandfather explained when he had been 5.

With everyone distracted, he walked through the roads, ignoring the glares of the assassins trailing behind him. He saw them from behind his head, right in one of the towering buildings but one stare at their location and they whimpered. Like cowards. No one uttered a word about him being by himself but he witnessed kids, the same age as him, walking out of their schools. They were smiling and laughing, a dark-haired boy was even holding the latest issue of Digimon cards. If he wasn’t on a time crunch, he would ask that long-haired kid about it. But he needed to get the cards and get back home before one of the servants alerted his parents or worse…his grandfather.

As soon as the man returned him his change for his newest cards, Satoru ran straight back home. His heart raced while he ran back home. He just had to get home before someone noticed the fact he was gone. The cars honked at him, warning him to get out of the way, but his ears were muted like cotton balls had been stuffed in them. He couldn’t jump over the fence, his legs weren’t long enough for him to do it. So all he could do was quietly opened the gates, shut it and then tiptoed into the large house before anyone could notice. How could Naruto do this without getting caught? Though he understood the thrill—the rush in his blood made him want to do it again.

The moment he turned his head away from the door, he found his eyes meeting the harsh, cold eyes of his grandfather. The old man stood before him, his wrinkly hand gripped on the wooden cane. He still didn’t understand why his grandfather needed it. He could walk without it. Didn’t need to drag it around like the old people he passed on his way back home. Not he would say it in front of his face. Instead, he straightened his spine as the old man began to circle around him.

“You went out,” Grandfather had whispered with a smile but it might as well as been a scream and a glare.  The old man tightened his grip on the cane, veins buldging out while the temperature in the room dropped. Satoru remained silent. “Tell me: did you enjoy your felicitous outing to the outside world without my permission?”

He stared straight at his grandfather’s eyes, maintaining a smile on his face, and asked. “How did you find out, Grandfather?” No doubt, a servant had spilled the news to his grandfather. Their loyalty was to him—first. Those loyal to his mother would tell her. She would find a way to distract him by serving tea or sending some pretty lady to distract him. Not one of the more commonly seen one. It had to be the older ones, the ones who feared his grandfather even more than his father’s more kind-hearted ways.

The old man didn’t look impressed, he just tapped his cane against the floor. Just one tap to echo throughout the quiet hallway. “Do you take me for a fool, Satoru?” He lowered his body till his muddy eyes met his own. “Nothing happens in this household, I do not know. Do you believe you can take one step out of this house and I won’t know? Tell me which silly activity you decided to do today to risk your potential on?”

He hated the words silly activities because it implied that he was some boring adult when he was just 13. If the outing had been for girls, Grandfather would turn the other way. He encouraged it with every girl who passed through this house, who batted their long eyelashes at him. You don’t want to be a fool like your father, do you? Was what his grandfather would whisper in his ears and Satoru would force himself to nod. To nod would keep the old man silent, at peace, but to defy him at this point? His freedom would be snatched away from him.

“I met a girl,” he lied with such fineness. He locked his eyes with his grandfather, lips curled into a bored smile. “I thought it would be nice to waste some time with her, Grandfather.” There was a blankness in his grandfather, a subtle doubt in his eyes. “She’s dumb but it sounds like she wants to marry me even though we’re just kids—so I told her that it would be our first and last date.” He shrugged. “She would be useless to me, our kids wouldn’t be worth committing to her.”

The old man didn’t stand up or gave him that approving look he suspected he would have given him if it was true. “You believe I don’t know your tricks, Satoru. The ones your stupid teachers always fall for,” his grandfather dragged the words out as his wrinkly hand gripped his chin. “No matter how many girls I introduce you to, both suitable and unsuitable—you showed no hint of interest. You take after your foolish father, he fell for your silly mother because of his dream.”

His heart slowed down; the adrenaline had finally died down in his blood. “Grandfather, would you prefer if it was a girl or a silly activity? If you prefer to know the truth, you can look in my bag or we can go back to my training and we can pretend that this never happened.” He dropped his smile. “Which do you prefer, Grandfather?”

The cane slid the bag towards him, his grandfather raised himself up. There was no pride in his eyes nor disapproval, only a blanket of coldness on his face. “No girl was worth the risk you took—boy,” his grandfather’s voice became smooth, almost kind but it was just a tactic. In public, Grandfather was supposed to be the dotting grandfather. Gifts, endless gifts, were showered upon him to keep his mouth shut. “The rule you broke is meant for your protection.”

“If you believe I’ve the potential to be the strongest Grandfather, shouldn’t I prove it to the world by showing my presence to them?” There was a coldness in his blood, no rage or grief because those emotions had never helped him. He supposed in some way, his grandfather loved him like how a tennis player would adore their trophy. He just wanted some leeway into getting his freedom. “People might believe your boasting about me lacks any fact. The only claim we have is the fact that the curses had gotten stronger when I was born.”

The old man remained still as a mountain. His blood turned to ice. “You believe I let you do your activities without thought, boy?” His grandfather stared at him like he was the biggest naïve fool in the world. “When you go out and attract all those powerful curses to you, destroying them without thought, word spread and when those assassins come crying to their Masters because of your raw power, I know because their Masters come to me—begging for mercy.” His grandfather smiled. Anything but the smile. “So we’ll keep this rule up until you go to high school or when I die.”

Satoru kept his expression, did not even drop his smile, even as his hands threatened to kill this old man right in front of him. “Then shouldn’t you pay me, not just with gifts but with actual money—Grandfather?” No point of pretending to be the innocent grandson, the fun-loving one that adored this old man. Before Naruto, he would believe the old man loved him. Would believe his cold heart was warm for him because he was different from his father.

There was a beat of silence. From behind the doors, he heard the sweet whistles of their maids.

“Such foolish requests are for those who have nothing to lose,” his grandfather spoke slowly and eloquently. His eyes looked at him like he was a bug, like a foolish child that needed to know the harsh reality of life. “Your payment for being born was to live in this household, for me paying for your silly mother’s treatment when her death would allow me to have your father marry a more suitable woman.” He sneered. “Sneaking out of this house on most days and those gifts, you clearly disliked, are my payment towards you. If you take a step out of line, dare to defy me and I’ll stop paying the private doctors for your silly mother.”

Satoru remained silent. Mother was his heaven, the one who made him feel like he was a beloved person. The one who he spoke freely about his soulmate without fear of judgment. He swallowed, gazed at his bag, and wordlessly kicked it to the side. Death was inevitable, he knew it from the things he witnessed, but if his mother was to die now—the whole world would be so cold. Not even Naruto could make up for it. Soulmate or not, she wasn’t his mother.

No one could replace her.

“I understand, Grandfather.”

“We need a better mission, Hokage-sama,” Naruto declared as soon as Kakashi-sensei handed in their reports from their last job. He had made them complete their reports right in front of him, no doubt he found no amusement in her very blunt assessment of the bratty kid and his more lazy mother. He had given her and Sasuke a lecture for their report, told them to redo it and since then, had made the three of them write the reports right in front of him. Only for the reports, he didn’t lecture her for bluntly telling the mother that she had spoiled her kid to the point that no one would want to be his friend. Sakura hadn’t lectured her for being blunt, then again the brat pulled her hair and anyone with eyes could see the girl was holding herself back from smacking the kid.

The Hokage didn’t bat a single eyelash at her demand, then again if he could sit there without wincing at the screeching cat that was now trying to claw out of its owner’s grip, then he would remain unfazed by her demands. Instead, he just gave them a long stare as the cat’s screeches sliced through the room. The owner kept wincing as the cat clawed her face. No pity from her. That cat tried to scratch her cheeks off when she tried to capture it. She pitied the cat, though. Clearly, he just wanted to run away and be free from his owner’s possessive grip.

From beside the Hokage, Iruka-sensei pursed his lips and gave her a single look. The disappointed one. She didn’t dare to flinch at him, she had no reason to feel guilt or apologetic for her demands. Everyone in the village knew, just knew how demeaning these jobs could be. Hinata, when they had finally found the time to meet up, had to clean some dog cages because the owner couldn’t bring himself to do it. Except her best friend never had her pay docked for speaking bluntly about the abuse. She just stared back at them. “Well, can we get a better mission, Hokage-sama?”

Sakura leaned closer to her. “What are you doing, Uzumaki? We can’t make demands to the Hokage just ‘cuz we want a better mission.” Her voice was low enough for only her and Sasuke to hear. It was an improvement. In the beginning of becoming teammates, Sakura would have worded it differently. Would have scolded her for being rude to him. Might even call her annoying for doing this. But even her teammate could agree, 21 missions of this demeaning work and training on top of it meant that they deserved better. Team 8 had done only four D-rank missions while Team 9 had done only six. Kakashi-sensei was just more intense because since he passed them, they needed to meet his high standards.

Hinata had given her balms because of the scratches she endured. Shikamaru had taken one look at her and told her that he was glad to not have her troublesome instructor.

“Do you want to do another D-rank mission? Or you wanna do something that doesn’t make it feel like we’re being taken advantage of,” she hissed back to Sakura as the Hokage continued to stare at them with indifferent eyes. Her teammate scowled, looked away and all the sign she needed to know that her teammate was also annoyed. “Watch me do what I do best—bargain with the old man. Ya think I don’t know how to get what we want?”

The Hokage continued to observe them while Iruka-sensei took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to scream at her for being rude, the vein on his forehead hadn’t expanded. His face wasn’t red. Their former teacher exhaled. “Naruto, remember your place in this room and whom you’re talking to.” Sakura flinched and wilted like she was the one being scolded while Kakashi kept a blank expression. Naruto just stared, then shrugged her shoulder.

“I know who I’m talking to Iruka-sensei but if I don’t speak up for my team then who’ll, Kakashi-sensei? You?” She levelled her eyes with the silent Hokage. “Hokage-sama, I’m asking this ‘cuz I know from all the genins that passed this year, we’re the ones that should be the first to be given a C-rank missions.” The cat’s screeches died down like a dwindling flame. Everyone just stared. She smiled, then closed her eyes. “I heard from some older genins that you need a minimum of 8 D-ranked missions to do a C-ranked mission, we went above the requirement in a span of a month 21 missions so far.”

She could have spoken up once they met the minimum requirements but to do so would show the Hokage that she was eager to prove herself. That she hadn’t learnt a thing from what happened with Mizuki. So she laid waiting for the right opportunity to prove they deserved this, to prove that she wasn’t reacting emotionally about the disrespect. The whole room became silent as everyone directed their gaze to the silent old man. He hadn’t given away any emotions to her demands.

“Team Seven has gone far and above when it comes to meeting the requirements for C-rank missions,” The Hokage had begun with his gravely voice. He stroked his beard. “However just because you have exceeded the requirements in a span of a month, doesn’t mean I’m obligated to give you a C-rank mission. You’re a genin and your judgment on what mission you deserve is based on what you believe you can do. The person who makes the call is your genin instructor, he decides whether the three of you deserve it or if the three of you are still incapable of doing it.”

Naruto frowned and turned to Kakashi-sensei, who had been silent throughout this whole thing. So it was up to Kakashi-sensei to decide whether they deserved to have a C-rank mission? The man leaned on one side of his foot and inspected the three of them as if considering to have them do a higher-ranked mission.  Must she bargain with him? Point out that the three of them might just work together, not just in their training exercises and chakra-control exercises, but also in annoying the hell out of him to get what they want.

The Hokage cleared his throat. “So Kakashi, what is your assessment for your team? Do you believe they earned the right to do a C-rank mission?”

Birds sang in the background, the photos of all the previous Hokage looked even more sterner with the sunlight glaring upon them. Kakashi hummed, his arms completely crossed and unbothered while her and the other members of their team stared at him. She felt her hope thinned like a rope was unravelling between her fingertips. The power laid on Kakashi’s feet, not theirs. She found herself considering all the ways to force the man’s hands.

Kakashi exhaled. “If I went purely by missions stats, I would say yes but I don’t judge just based on the number of missions they accomplished,” was how their mentor begun his evaluation. He placed one hand on her head, steadying her, while his other hand on Sasuke. “However I consider their training as well. In terms of training, they have gone from being passable to…decent.” She twitched while Sakura smiled, completely proud at this assessment. Sasuke just grunted. Clearly as unhappy as her about his assessment. “But they have only been dealing with me, I believe it’s time for me to see how far they progress in the real scenario.”

The Hokage sounded emotionless. “Do you truly believe this?”

“Decent is enough for them to do a C-ranked mission,” Kakashi said casually. Naruto knew that tone already. “Kurenai and Asuma still treat their genins like they need to be coddled in the real world, I believe my team should have a healthy dose of reality.” He regarded them. “They have done enough for me to give into their demands especially when I was expecting one of them to throw a tantrum after their 10^th mission.” His tone carried a hint of amusement. “Having to take care of a bratty child isn’t for the faint hearted.”

Another silence, a longer one this time. Then, Iruka-sensei said with a careful but controlled tone. “Genins don’t take C-rank missions in their first month. This will be considered recklessness, Hokage-sama.” His eyes darted from her to Sakura. There was an edge to his voice, a clear dislike for what was to come. “No matter how far they have progressed in their training, C-rank missions still have the risk of death. If one member is still too weak, it puts the whole team in jeopardy.”

The Hokage tilted his hat downwards. “Do you say this because until last month, Team Seven were your students and you’re aware of each individual’s weakness?” His voice became firmer and colder. “Do you doubt Kakashi’s assessment despite the standards he had set for all the other genin teams he failed? The ones you too agreed after reading through his assessment did not deserve to pass?” There was an edge to his voice. And why wouldn’t there be? To question Kakashi’s judgment was similar to questioning the Hokage’s judgment since Kakashi was a Jounin. A higher rank than Iruka-sensei.

Iruka winced, a quick one but she noticed it. “My concern isn’t based on Team Seven being my former students or a question on Kakashi’s judgment, it is a question on whether or not the standards we’ve cultivated so far since Uchiha Itachi deflection should be bent on this team showing promise.” Sasuke stiffened at the mention of his brother and Naruto jabbed him on the rib. Hurting him would remind him to keep his cool. Their former teacher continued. “Such missions have been known to change genins for the worse.”

Kakashi remained silent for a moment, then looked at Iruka with a cold eye. “A healthy dose of pressure is needed for genins to succeed and have the drive to move up the ranks, they are no longer children that need to be babied for fear they can’t handle what the job entitles,” he laid his eyes on the Hokage. “They are my soldiers and I’ll have them do jobs I’m certain they can handle. To let them continue D-rank missions because of the potential of having another Itachi will mean we’ll need to overthrow the whole system. That isn’t practical.” He regarded Iruka. “I’m aware of what happens when a team takes on a mission above their heads however they’re not fighting in a war. That’s exactly why now is the time to teach them what it means to be a shinobi—before the stakes become fatal.”

Naruto felt the hope rising again like a tidal wave crashing over her. She could see the subtle signs of the Hokage being pleased with Kakashi-sensei’s judgment, the way his shoulders just relaxed for a moment hinted he had been hoping for a valid argument. Iruka closed his eyes and slumped his shoulders. The Hokage’s expression remained blank as a mask. He said, “I believe Kakashi had given you enough reason for why he believes they can do it. I know you worry for Team Seven like all the other genins team that you passed but Kakashi has more experience than you and knows the consequence of having the weakest member in the team not being prepared for a mission.”

Sakura swallowed. “Does this mean we’re getting a C-ranked mission?” Her voice was fearful, but Naruto knew it was a lie. Her eyes had a glint of excitement and relief. Her teammate was meek, was still the weakest one between them, but she too wanted to show her improvement to the world. Or perhaps Sasuke. She still chased after Sasuke for dates.

Hiruzen nodded. “Fortunately for the three of you, I have one C-ranked mission left: a protection mission.” His eyes shifted to the door and he called out in a firm voice. “Tazuna, I have found a team willing to take on your request.” He looked away from the door and looked down at the drawers of his table. The drawers rattled while he pulled out a red scroll that was clearly labelled with C-rank. Kakashi plucked the scroll from the old man’s hand when the door slammed open.

The first thing she smelled was alcohol, it was strong like the man had spent every waking minute drinking like there was no tomorrow. Naruto wrinkled her nose and met their newest client. He wasn’t too old, probably middle-aged but his skin was tanned all over. He must spend every day in the sun to get that level of a tan. His face had a little flush of red, that must come from the alcohol. He staggered in with a drunken stupor. She decided at that moment she hated the man.

He let out a loud burp, took one huge gulp of his bottle, and barked. “You’re giving me three brats to protect me?”

Brats? He didn’t even know them and he just decided that they were brats because of their ages. He should meet Satoru. Her soulmate could be a real brat at times. Naruto clenched her jaw and stared at the Hokage. “Must we protect a rude drunk?”

“Rude drunk?” The drunk barked. “Did your parents teach you to be rude to your elders?”

The whole room became cold and silent like the end of a blizzard. Naruto  clenched her jaw while Sakura stared at the old man, horrified and annoyed. Sasuke yanked her hand. Dimly, she realised she had balled her fist at the mention. Kakashi-sensei remained silent, his visible eye closed while the Hokage just tidied his papers, uncaring of the rudeness in his words. Iruka eyed her like he expected her for to yank her hand away from Sasuke’s firm grip. She knew better. Punching him would not be worth her pay being docked.

“My parents died before they can teach me manners, but you must have ‘em so why are you so rude, Drunk?”

And that was the beginning of their first C-ranked mission.

Chapter Text

The skies were ripped apart like it was trying its best to get out of there. The air smelt like blood, the type to come from a wound, and the temperature continued to drop to the point that Naruto swore she could see snow forming on the tree leaves. This was just one of the soulmate dreams. But this had to be reflecting Satoru’s mood. Not hers. If it had been reflecting her personal environment, the sky would be as blue as the sparkling ocean and the sun would be glowing. Not like this. The sun, at this point, was dull—nearly dying like the soul had been sucked out of them. She swallowed and rubbed her arms as the winds howled in the background, screaming for so much help. It made her worry for Satoru because this was his dream state.

Right in front of her, she saw Satoru sitting on the grass. His eyes were dull like he was in a complete mourning and there was no smile on his lips. This wasn’t the friend she knew and cared for, this was a stranger. Since the moment they met, he had always been known to smile—loudly and freely like the clouds—and this was the first time his face was just like a mask. Even the clouds reflected him. They weren’t floating, they were threatening to crash straight on the ground like hurling kunais. She rolled over as a cloud crashed straight towards her.  It splinted the ground. A cherry blossom marked but Naruto didn’t focus on it. Instead, she strolled towards her shaking friend.

There was a cold silence around him like he was in deep in mourning. His whole body was still as a statue, no rise and fall of his chest, while his eyes focused on the tree stump that Kakashi-sensei had tied herself up to.  In their dreams, the only sounds came from them but even the lack of sound made her stomach dropped. She swallowed the sudden knot in her throat and reached her hand out to his shoulder, squeezing the muscle until she could snap him out of his thoughts. It didn’t work.

She wanted it to work because this wasn’t her Satoru.

“Satoru,” she called out to him with a firm voice. Not shaky. Never shaky. She had to act like herself and never let him know how much it affected her. Someone had to be the normal one, it had to be her—this time. Something happened to him. When Mizuki touched her, she had felt dirty and the whole environment reflected the disgust inside of her. The grass had been muddy at the time. Here, the grass was dull and brittle like it could break at any point. Just like glass. “What’s going on, Satoru? What happened to ya for you to be acting like this?”

No words spoken between them. Just pure silence between them that stretched and stretched until it felt like it was forever. Like an endless road where there was no end at sight.  She wished the clouds would stop crashing, wished for the skies to be blue like before and for them to be mended not a torn down rug. From underneath her feet, she saw blood pouring out of the grass. She squeezed his shoulder tighter just to snap him out of his funk. He didn’t smile immediately. For a moment, his eyes drifted to her hand like it was an alien. Like it just dawned on him that she was here with him.

“Where are we, Naruto?” His voice carried lightness and a hint of laughter. It held no hint of his pain and sorrow, which only made her wonder if it was her imagination. As if to further make her doubt him, her friend gazed at her expression and laughed once more. “You’re looking at me like I’m some kind of ghost.” And he nudged her as if he couldn’t see the terrible destruction all around them. “What’s wrong?”

Everything was wrong. This environment. Him. Naruto exhaled and forced herself to answer his first question, the safest one. “This is where Kakashi-sensei trains me and my team,” explained she. “And you’re acting weird—you ain’t acting like your usual cocky self.” His eyes didn’t shift to show guilt nor amusement. No real sign of the grief coursing through him but the blood clung to her skin, burning through her nostrils. So strong that she wondered if this was truly a dream. “Nothing is wrong with me, Satoru. It’s you.”

He stared at the bloodied grass, but there was no sign of acknowledgment from what she noticed. When his hand rested on the grass, he didn’t even flinch at the way it sliced through his skin. Dribble of blood soaked into the grass and for once, he stared in wonder like he had never once witnessed his own blood. Except he did. On their very first meeting, she had punched him so hard that his nose had bled. That, she decided, was satisfying but this was not. It just chilled her to the bone.

“There’s nothing wrong,” he denied like his bleeding hand was normal. His tone sounded so casual, so calm and her hand itched to smack some sense into him. To have this idiot admit the truth to himself, not just her. “If anyone is acting weird, it’s you. You’re looking at me like I’m a ghost and some stranger when I’m still the same Satoru. This whole world? It doesn’t mean anything.” He laughed again like it would convince her. It was the fakest laugh, faker than the eyelashes she had seen in some of the bored housewives. “It’ll be back to normal next time, don’t you worry.”

The patience inside of her died down like a dwindling flame, replaced with a rage reminiscent of a hungry lioness ready to attack its prey. Finally, she growled. “Satoru, I’ve been friends with you for four years. For four long years, I’ve been stuck with you and so I know when this should be normal.” Swallowing down another growl, she pushed on. “When I felt dirtied by what that asshole did to me, you confronted and comforted me. You told me I was scaring you, well you’re fucking terrifying me. This world tells me that you ain’t fine and I ain’t going to accept your bullshit lie until I know what’s going on.”

There was only a strange, trembling silence between them, during which Naruto weighed all of her options to force him to talk. A kunoichi must do what she must to gather intel was what her kunoichi instructor had once said with firm voice as she drew diagrams for them to understand the ways to gather information from a boy. Knowing him, she knew better than to flutter her eyelashes and whisper some sweet words to him to get him to talk. She had to do something he hated. His greatest weakness. Tears. She had to force herself to cry, be vulnerable just to get him to confront his problem.

Satoru Gojo had no idea of how special he was to force her to do the one thing she also hated: crying like a little baby.

“What happened you was different from what’s going on with me,” stated Satoru like the bleeding grass wasn’t a cry for help. That large smile on his lips made her want to tug on his cheeks until he dropped this façade in front of her.  He continued with that same annoying casual tone. “Mizuki was your teacher and he tried to touch you. What you felt was normal for what you went through.” And shoved his hands through his kimono’s sleeves, hiding like the coward he was. “What I’m going through at home is normal for me. Nothing new—just the same ol’ same old.”

Then why was the grass bleeding? Why was the sky bleeding and ripping itself apart while the clouds continued to crash straight to the ground like hurling kunais. She swallowed and gripped his kimono’s collar, just ready to slap some common sense into this idiot’s thick head because his head was thicker than a sheet of concrete.  “Y’know until I was stuck with you in these annoying dreams, I never had to use this head of mine,” she knocked on her forehead and a gust of wind sliced through one of the trees. “Two weeks ago, you told me—we’re soulmates and so this dream reflect your feelings. Not mine! I was so happy until I came into this dream and saw just how much you’re hurting. The sky  is ripping apart ‘cuz of you, not me! So either tell me what’s going on or I’ll cry like a newborn baby! And let me tell ya—they’re annoying.”

No laugh but it was expected. Instead, her friend swallowed, loudly like he was gulping a long glass of water without stopping. “You won’t do it,” said Satoru with a strangled expression. She forced one tear down her cheek, it burned like a fire and numbed her, but the way his strangled expression shifted to a panicking expression. “You don’t cry, Naruto! That’s what makes you awesome.” She forced another tear and he waved his hands through the air. “Why are you behaving like this? You ain’t the emotional type.”

The tears continued to roll down her eyes like lava, burning and almost melting through her skin. She had to be honest. “Then it should tell you how much you’re fucking scaring me because I don’t cry!” Naruto yelled. Her voice exploded throughout the field just as another cloud crashed straight to the bleeding grass. “You make me emotional, you idiot because you’re my friend! Other than Hinata, you’re my best friend and so you better tell me what’s going on so I can help you.”

Satoru tugged and pulled on her cheeks like it was clay. It didn’t stop the tears, instead it just continued to dribble right down to his hands, and he pulled his fingers away like it burned him. That pale skin became a strong pink hue like it truly did burn him. “Stop crying, Naruto! Y’know I’ll call you even more ugly if you keep acting like this and you ain’t ugly!” His voice told of a plea and fear for her tears. She didn’t dare stop, not until he told her the truth. “Fine! I’ll tell you, just stop crying! It ain’t natural for you to cry.”

Immediately, her crocodile tears died down. With a loud sniffle, she raised her pinkie finger at him. “Promise?”

“You tricked me with those crocodile tears,” he grumbled but despite his grumbles, he wrapped his own pinkie finger around her own. “Can’t believe I fell for it like some poor sucker.” Those grumbling words didn’t erase the relief in his eyes. The boy pressed his warm forehead against her own. “I tell you but never do that sneak attack ever again—you really scared me when you started to cry.” His tone carried a hint of a plea. “Y’know I just realised for all the times I complained about you not acting like a girl, I don’t wanna see you act like this because of me.”

Naruto turned her head away. “Well then you better open up to me or next time, it’ll be worse—I’ll walk out of here ‘cuz I stuck around because you’re my best friend. Not ‘cuz of this soulmate business—I’m still Uzumaki Naruto and I deserve the best.” She puffed her chest and straightened her shoulders at those blank blue eyes. “But because you’re one of my best friends and I ain’t abandoning you ‘cuz you didn’t abandon me when I was at my lowest.”

He swallowed, almost like her words touched him. That rain that had been stabbing her was now prickling her like needles, the clouds had changed its course into going up to the sky. To the very sky trying to stitch itself back together like a half-sewed wound. “Y’know how you joke about my obsession with Digimon?” Was how he begun his story. She nodded and he looked at the melting snow on the trees. “Well I decided to sneak out of the house, y’know my grandfather doesn’t like my hobbies. Calls them childish and so I decided to sneak out to collect the latest card—when we’re in my house next time, I’ll show it to ya.”

“What’s wrong with you sneaking out of the house?” She knew his family was strict but that was going overboard if you asked her. He remained silent and the streaks of red appeared once more on the grass. The stitches on the sky was beginning to unsew itself stitch by stitch. She needed to ground him again. “Satoru, you snuck out—it ain’t a big deal. You ain’t the first kid to sneak out, lots of kid do it—I think. I saw the civilian teens do it so why is it a big deal you snuck out to get Digimon cards?”

Closing his eyes, her friend’s face became so worn-down—tired like there was so much weight pressing down on his shoulders. “Grandfather wants me to stay inside the house like a good tool but I just wanted to get some cards and feel like a normal kid. If he finds out—I get punished but the cards are usually worth it ‘cuz a lot of people want it,” and he paused like he was trying to gather more courage to finish it. “I got them and came back even though I wanted to talk to other kids ‘cuz y’know I had no servants to stop me.” He looked at the wounded sky. “I was hoping Mother would find out before him—she distracts him with his ladies friends.”

She stared. “Just say prostitutes.”

“I’ve some respect,” said Satoru with some mock dignity but his smile spoke of his amusement to her own bluntness. “And well he found out before Mother did, so he was waiting for me by the door like some bogeyman.” The trees shook and trembled with laughter while the sky continued to stitch itself back. “Don’t give me that look, Grandfather isn’t an easy man. Father is the Head but Grandfather controls the house through fear. The servants fear him more than they care for Father’s kindness so one of ‘em spilled the beans to him. Probably scared he might kill them—he had done it before.” The words were uttered so casually that it chilled her.

“He didn’t hit you, did he?” said Naruto quietly, thinking of several possibilities of what happened.

Satoru laughed, bitterly like he drank the bitterest tea made in the world. “Grandfather will never hit me outside of training, he knows he can’t land a hit but he uses words,”  he explained with a quiet voice. “That isn’t the kind of power he can use against me, Grandfather—he does other things to show he’s stronger than me and keep me under his thumb.” His eyes became distant and glass. “He used it today to make me follow his desire, if I act out even more—he’ll stop paying for Mother’s treatment and he knows he can do it. Father becomes so meek when he talks to him and I didn’t understand till he did this.”

Silence. There could only be a stunned silence as her mind processed the haunted house he lived in. At the monster living in his home because only a monster could do this. Only a human could do this and she would know. At 12, she lived in the streets, lived in an abusive orphanage and just knew how people could show the most cruelty. How words could hurt and knew physical wounds could heal. But even now, she itched to climb the ladder to defeat the monsters that tried to squashed her strength and desire. The winds howled in the background while Satoru just stared at the bleeding grass with his glass eyes.

“You never told me your mother was sick, Satoru,” whispered Naruto. Her friend turned his head away as the sky began to bruise once more with purple hues. The temperature just continued to drop until it reached the temperature found in hospitals—cold but not too cold like winter. “How long has she been sick?” She didn’t ask why he never told her. Today was not the day she should ask but she just leaned closer to him, shoulder brushing against him. A wild hope to remind him that he wasn’t alone. “If she continues her treatment, she’ll live—won’t she?”

“I don’t know,” he confessed with a quiet voice. “Mother won’t tell me, tells me that she’s going to get better but she lies to me. Father doesn’t tell me the truth but he gets scared whenever she coughed.” A loud swallow. “The maids whisper about it, saying my mother was slowly getting weaker. They don’t have faith she will live because her sickness isn’t curable—I think. It might be years before a cure can be found.” He looked at the sky. “I hate being human, Naruto. I’m meant to have the highest potential to be the strongest sorcerer but I can’t stop her from dying.”

She cradled her legs together and just kept silent for a moment. “You get to have time with her, Satoru and that’s something I would kill for. She knows you’re going to be the strongest but I think she knows telling you won’t make a difference, probably wouldn’t even help her.” She didn’t understand his world but she could guess what would go through her mind. She was 12 but she could guess from the photos she had seen. “Sasuke’s brother murdered his family, he had no warning but I think he would want one day with his Mum. I never knew mine but if she was alive, I would spend every waking minute with her ‘cuz you’re never going to get it back.”

Rain poured down at them until it seemed to be drowning.

“Grandfather will never let me spend more time with her—he believes I’m showing weakness. I’m above it.”

Dull and dead was how she would describe it.

“Would you want to look back and regret never spending enough time with her because you let some old man boss you around?” He swirled his head and she looked him dead in the eye. “You told me never to give a fuck about what people think, yet you give a fuck about what he do. If he makes one comment then tell him this: you’re playing the role of the dutiful son.” She turned away. “People could look down on you for not giving enough respect to her, Satoru. No matter what, if you don’t spend time with her—you’re letting him win. You’re letting him think you can be a puppet just like your Dad.”

The sun became just a little bit brighter.

“So I rub off on ya, didn’t I?”

She chuckled and looked at the vast field. Her training ground.

“If it wasn’t for you, I’ll probably be some kid who was still craving for some attention so yeah—you rubbed off on me and I think I’m doing the same for ya, ain’t I?”

Silence. Then:

“I think Grandfather is going to hate how much you make me want to say fuck the system.”

Chapter Text

Satoru took Naruto’s word to heart and decided to visit his mother as soon as he woke up, instead of going down to have breakfast with his father. Grandfather had went out after their discussion and that was good enough for him. He didn’t have to look over his shoulder, body trembling over the thought of the old man watching him. He was glad when he opened the door to find his mother plopped up on the bed, her green eyes focused on the sunlight gracing the window seat. Like always, the room was warm. Since his mother became sick, his father made sure the whole house was installed with an internal heating system. Anything for his mother, he knew.

She didn’t look at him immediately, her eyes were just focused on the birds as the sun smiled down on her. Usually, he saw the warmth in her but today her skin didn’t reflect like the snow. Just dull like a piece of paper. Her skin clung onto her bone, reminding him of just how fragile his mother was. Now would be a good time for him to open his mouth or to give her a hug. She was sick. She wasn’t getting any better as the maids had whispered whenever they came out of his parents’ room. Their whispers died whenever his eyes met their own. They would flinch, bow their heads and scuttled away from him. It was always too late and pointless—he knew the signs. He just wanted his mother to stick around and witness him make his grandfather fear him.

“Satoru,” his mother called out to him with the softest voice he had ever heard her spoke in. “What brings you to my room? I thought you would be having breakfast with your father. I’ll come down soon, tell your father not to worry—I’m more than capable of getting myself down to the dining room.”

He took several steps closer to his mother, avoiding her gaze. “Father didn’t tell me to come here, I just wanted to see you before Grandfather comes back to the house and trains me again,” he explained, taking a seat on her soft bed. “And I know you can do it, Mother. You gave birth to the boy with the strongest potential to become the strongest sorcerer and that makes you the strongest woman here.”

Without warning, his mother pulled him in for a hug. Despite the coldness of her skin, he felt a warmth like that of the sun and made him want bask in her warmth for just a little bit longer. To pretend for one moment that he was just a normal boy. “You know I can’t remember the last time you visited my room or when I hugged you like this,” his mother admitted with a soft voice. “I remember when you were three and how you were always eager to sneak into bed with us—your grandfather never allowed it.”  Her finger brushed against his hair. “What made you decide to come into the room?”

There was only silence as he considered his words towards his mother. Naruto had to talk some sense into him. Had to make him really think of what was important to him: his grandfather’s threats or having memories of his mother. He couldn’t just discard his grandfather's threat, not when his mother’s life dangled in his hand. Father, he knew, was too terrified to go against him. Swallowing a lungful of air, Satoru shrugged. It was all he could do. “Can’t I spend more time with you?”

Mother didn’t utter a word immediately, instead her frail hand kept combing through his hair with softness and gentleness like it would be the last time she would ever do this with him. There was a steady rise and fall of her chest like the soft tides. He didn’t feel any wetness on his hair, but the air was deeper, sunken like fallen ships. If he didn’t care so much about Grandfather, his mother would never have the need to ask him more questions. “I’m happy when you spend time with me, Satoru but I don’t want you to spend time with me because you’re worried.” She chuckled. “I’m going to get better, Satoru.”

Tears had never once poured out of his eyes but today, it threatened to come out. It burned. For once in his life, there was fire beneath his eyelids. He turned his head and rubbed his eyes, trying not to shake at her words. “I know the truth, Mother. I know you aren’t getting better,” his voice sounded strong to his ears, but his mother just steadied him like he was the weak one. And she was the strong one. She wasn’t strong. “There’s no point of you hiding the truth from me.”

His mother hummed a soft tune, the one she used to hum before Grandfather told her that her tunes was causing him to be weak. He had been three but it was memory stitched forever in his mind like a surgery scar. “I’m not getting worse, Satoru and that’s something you should consider as the bright side,” she tapped on his forehead with her own—a warm heat seeped right in there. “Thinking I’m not getting better is going to hurt you more than it hurts me. Despite what your grandfather believes, I know this is hurting you more than you like him and your father to believe.”

Satoru stilled, just wishing his mother didn’t bring up his grandfather. Even when he wasn’t here with them, he felt like a lingering ghost in this house. Maybe, he would always be a ghost even when he was dead—haunting him and whatever poor family member he could roped into taking over this household when he died. Maybe a distant relative or even better: a bastard. It would be a nice way to ruin his grandfather’s dreams other than never marrying.  He turned his head away. “Why do you keep lying to yourself, Mother? It doesn’t change the outcome.”

There was no immediate answer, instead his mother cradled him against his chest and turned him towards the window. To where the birds sat on top of the trees, their songs were now a haunting melody in his ears. He knew he would never forget this day just like he could never forget the first time Naruto punched him in the nose. It was the first time he felt human in a reality.  “Do you see the clouds and the skies, Satoru? And the birds?” The words were soft and gentle like the very clouds she was pointing to. “The clouds don’t know where they go but they know they are in the sky. The birds go out into the wild to bring food but they don’t know nor do they care for death. I want you to be the same—to live this life without fear.”

That was what his grandfather wanted but his mother was different from him. She always had a different meaning to his grandfather. “What does that mean, Mother?”

Mother smiled and rubbed circles around his back, small but firm. “Your grandfather wants you not to fear anyone because of your potential but I want you to move through this life, feeling every emotion that’s out there for you to feel.” Her voice became firm, a hint that he was not allowed to argue with her about the point. “I want you to focus on your future even when I’m gone because everyone dies—it’s a fate no one can escape. I won’t die today or tomorrow but I’ll make sure to live long enough to see you graduate.” She poked his nose and unintentionally, he laughed. “Maybe I’ll see you get married and have a kid or two, Satoru. I’ll never miss your wedding day.”

His heart stilled at the thought of the idea of marriage. He was only 13 but he could see the life his grandfather planned out for him. Some random girl was going to be chosen by his grandfather, they would be boring and shallow—nothing like Naruto. A child would be expected, a male one and then his life would be nothing but a routine. Just like his father. It wasn’t the life he wanted. He didn’t want to do the whole marriage thing, not when he was his grandfather’s grandson. Not when his stomach crumbled at the idea of having another woman end up like his mother or grandmother.

With a bland voice, he declared. “That’s never happening—I’m never going to get married, Mother.”

“Life is filled with surprises, Satoru,” his mother said, gently and knowingly. “You don’t know what tomorrow brings, one day you might meet someone and when you talk to them…you realise they just naturally fit into your life. You might change your mind just because of that or you might be as stubborn as a mountain and really do decide never to get marry. But,” she brushed her lips against his hair. “But I want you to always surround yourself with friends, Satoru when you go to Jujutsu High.”

He doubted he would find friends that matched his high standards. Naruto was an exception, he would always say, because she was his soulmate. It meant she was going to be the strongest kunoichi in the world.  She knew him too, had now seen him at his worst. Those kids would never understand him. Not like she did. He was happy with just having her, though she wasn’t around. He wished she was here. Just so he could have someone to play with. When she was around, his heart felt lighter—felt like it was free from its cage. His lips suddenly felt dried as he asked the next best question.

“Mother, why do you have so much hope?”

The birds sang a song, filled with joy and soft hope, while his mother looked down at him with knowing eyes. Her finger drifted to his nose, tracing its slope. “Because of you,” he blinked as his mother nuzzled her nose against his. It would have been embarrassing if someone witnessed this scene. “When your grandfather pulled you away from me, I worried that you would become just like him because you started showing signs of following his footsteps.” She hugged him even tighter. “But I saw the little changes and those changes wouldn’t come if you weren’t ready to walk away from his path, Satoru. I have dreams too that I want to accomplish and to give up on those dreams, on you…will mean giving up on hope.”

There was a sudden lump in his throat. “Was I your dream?”

“Definitely,” his mother declared quietly. “But you weren’t my only dream. One of the few reasons why I thought of breaking our engagement is because I dreamt of publishing books.” He jerked his head as his mother looked out to the tree. The one that was planted closest to his parents’ room. “I loved to write and I wanted to go to university, to leave behind Jujutsu Society.” The whole world became silent and his mother stopped stroking his hair. “I was never strong enough to be a sorcerer but I wanted to study and see the world, Satoru. Your father promised to show me the world but promises means nothing without action.”

A long stretch of silence between them. No sound from the outside world.

“It seems so normal, Mother.”

His mother closed her eyes and laughed, happily but sorrowfully. “What seems normal to you, Satoru is a privilege to others. I know your soulmate dreams to become Hokage but have you ever asked her what drew to have such big dreams? People dream of things that they never have. In a society like ours, my dream sounds insane and hopeless because girls are not meant to dream such normal things.” She breathed out. “Your grandparents—my parents—were happier for me to be engaged to your father than to see me thriving in school.”

He looked out to the bright blue sky, they looked so much like Naruto’s eyes at this moment.

“I’m going to become the strongest sorcerer,” he declared to his silent mother. “But I won’t be doing things like how Grandfather wants.” His throat tightened. “I’m going to be the kind that would make room for people to have all sorts of dreams. I’ll be so strong that people can rely on me while they dream of simpler things, Mother.”

His mother laughed but it sounded so mournful, nothing like her usual laugh.

“Satoru... strength like that is a beautiful thing,” she murmured, “but I don’t want you to be everyone’s shield. I want you to live, too because I don’t want you to ever live with resenting the world.”

(When he looked back at this day, when he held his very first child, he understood why his mother told him those things. He wished he had spent more time with her and wished his daughter had met her namesake. His daughter, he had decided with his wife, was going to live out her dreams even if it was more radical than his or her mother’s. He didn’t understand why his grandparents never celebrated his mother’s achievement but he made sure to cheer loudly for his kids even if it embarrassed them. Especially if it embarrassed them because he wanted them to remember him being proud of them.)

Chapter Text

She should have come to the meeting place earlier, but Naruto had run into Hinata on her way to the meeting spot. She didn’t have time to tell her best friend about everything, but she managed to tell her best friend about her C-rank mission. Her best-friend had smiled, then stared at her bag before asking her if she managed to pack some balms with her.  The fact she didn’t answer her was what made Hinata dragged her back to her place to get some balms. Sometimes, Naruto mused, her best friend acted more like a mother than a friend and she loved her for it. She hadn’t even put all the balms into her bag, she had slipped one into her pocket. A lucky charm, she decided.

C-rank missions weren’t meant to be dangerous, she knew but her hand slipped into the balm as she ran through the streets. The hard edges of the lid reminded her that there was someone in this village, who cared for her. She ignored the glances from the villagers. It hadn’t changed so much but their eyes weren’t as cold as before. Indifference had begun to creep into their eyes instead of cold hatred. If you asked her, she would say that indifference was just slightly better than hatred. Indifference meant she was getting through them. She kept her smile plastered on her face as she ran straight towards the meeting place. Kakashi-sensei had told them that they were to meet in front of the gates, no exceptions for them to be late. He had looked at her when he said it like the words were targeted to her and not the others.

If it were anyone else, she would believe he was out to get her, but Kakashi-sensei was fair. He didn’t look at her with coldness, indifference at times but amusement as well. He was also harder on her when it came to training. Chakra control was always his focus with her and Sasuke. What was the point of knowing jutsu if you don’t use it efficiently was what he would tell them. When it came to Sakura, their genin instructor focused on her smaller reserves and her taijutsu. Their mentor didn’t say it, but Naruto knew he wanted Sakura to be able to somewhat keep up with them. It was why Sakura was given the most laps. She was the least but Kakashi-sensei forced her to play Go. To keep her busy while the others did their laps.

“You look terrible,” were the first words Sakura said to her when she arrived at their meeting spot. Her teammate used a smaller backpack, looked almost concern for her but Naruto just shrugged. Of course, she looked terrible. Satoru hadn’t been himself in their dream. He had hidden his mother’s illness from her, had been given a brutal blow from his grandfather, and refused to acknowledge the fact that the world around them had been crashing because of what he witnessed. Because of what he was going through.

Naruto plopped her bag on the ground and leaned against the large, looming gates. “Well, not everyone can afford good skincare.” She smiled at her teammate, focused her eyes on those green eyes because aversion would mean that it was a lie. That something was bothering her. What happened to Satoru didn’t bother her.  He was going to get through it because life demanded that he did. She wasn’t going to hold his hand every night because that wasn’t how their friendship worked. If he wanted that, she reasoned, he would have told her from the very beginning.

Sakura scowled, displeased. “You’re acting more like a bitch than usual.”

She didn’t flinch at the jab. It was better her teammate behaved like this than pretend to like her or worse, be concerned for her. Yesterday when Tazuna made that jab about her dead parents, her teammate had looked horrified on her behalf. It was weird. This wasn’t their relationship, and she didn’t want it to be their relationship. Teammates were what they need, nothing more than that. She had a friend in Hinata and in Shikamaru. That was all she needed for now.

Friendship, she came to realise from spending time with Satoru, should come when both parties treated each other as equals. Till now, her teammate didn’t see her as an equal. It was fine if you asked her. Their team assignment was temporary at best. Five more months and they would try for the chunin exams. Kakashi-sensei had to let them do it, he had to see that they had the potential to become chunins.

“For all you know, I might be going through some shit,” Naruto said casually. She didn’t look at her teammate, choosing instead to focus on the wandering white clouds and the clear blue sky. A beautiful day. A sign of success, if she should believe for their upcoming missions. Shinobis had weird superstitions when it came to their missions; she didn’t know if she should make this be her superstition. When a day was beautiful like this, their missions always went well.

Sakura stared at her, not stunned but almost concerned. “Are you going through something, Naruto?”

There was a long stretch of silence as Naruto considered her words. She wasn’t going through something. What was there for her to get through? Mizuki was dead and could never touch her again, though their job demanded for her to expect these things. More villagers had started to become indifferent to her, a few might have become just slightly more friendly to her. Of course, it wasn’t from the D-rank missions. Those people had always found ways to dock her pay but the older shinobis. They were kinder to her. Hinata’s instructor was nice to her, not cold but not entirely warm. Her best friend said that was how Kurenai was.

“There is nothing for me to go through, Sakura,” she shrugged and picked up her bag before turning to look at the chunins standing in front of the front gates. Izumo was one of their names if she recalled. Until the old man had given her a little talk, he and his friend had to look for her after she did her pranks. They could never find her or if she was more brutal, they couldn’t be bothered to find her. “I’m finally going to see what the world is like outside of these gates so I’m just more excited.” It wasn’t a lie. She was excited to see what life would be like when no one knew that she was a jinchuuriki. When she didn’t have a reputation for being a troublemaker.

Her teammate rolled her eyes and jerked her finger at her bag. “Is that why you packed so much? Because you think we need all that stuff for a simple protection mission?” Her voice wasn’t condescending, but it might as well be. The girl shook her head. “I know you never been outside the village but that’s way too much, Naruto. It’s going to slow you down.”

Naruto patted her bag, it rattled and tugged downwards but didn’t quite spill to the ground. “It isn’t that much.”

“Not that much? It looks more than all the stuff I bought,” Sakura lifted her bag as if to make a point while the birds sang in the background. It wasn’t a happy melody, just a tired melody. Naruto stared, raising one eyebrow at her—unconvinced. Her teammate bristled. “I didn’t even bring my skincare with me, Naruto! I can be practical too.”  The blond-haired girl just stared, and her teammate scowled. “Fine. My mother said it wasn’t necessary.”

Naruto nodded. She didn’t know Sakura’s mother but from what she had seen, it would be like the woman to take another look at her daughter’s bag. Controlling was how she would describe the woman. She looked at the buildings behind them, at the Hokage’s Monument. “I packed all the necessary stuff but Hinata saw me on my way here,” she shrugged and exhaled. “And when I told her about our mission, she brought me back to her place and gave me some of her medical balms ‘cuz C-ranks are more dangerous than D-ranks. She gave me too much.” There was a flicker of emotion in Sakura’s eyes—jealously, perhaps? She could never tell with her teammate.

Sakura swallowed and turned away. “You’re still friends with her?”

You haven’t abandoned her now that you’re a genin? You don’t feel the need to show that you’re better than a clan heiress? Her teammate didn’t utter those cruel questions, but she might as well. Naruto looked at the empty roads with a quiet but calm heart.  Many people, she supposed, would think she would do that. Children born into a civilian life always held some jealously to clan children. They had better resources, a few of them like Ino and Kiba could be arrogant, but Hinata wasn’t like that. Her friend was born to a clan but she was caged just like a bird.

Not even her own marriage would be her choice. If Hinata didn’t find a suitable man approved by her grandfather, she would be forced to marry some distant cousin.

“Did you think I would abandon her?” She kept her tone soft and friendly, not cold. There was no point for her to be cold and defensive because Sakura was right to question her. Her teammate flinched and Naruto sighed. “Sakura, I ain’t judging you for abandoning Ino but I want to know—did you and all the other civilians’ kids think I was using Hinata?”

The girl remained silent for a moment before looking at the trees. “The other kids did, I thought she would abandon you.” Naruto raised her eyebrows at her teammate and Sakura folded her arms against her chest. “Hinata is quiet and was a lot less confident until you two became friends. I thought once she gained her confidence that she would just leave you or you know prove that she doesn’t need you.” Sakura huffed. “Y’know so she doesn’t feel like she is in your shadow because she is your sidekick; you ain’t her guard like all the other kids think.”

Naruto blinked, then eyed her. “Was that the real reason why you stopped being friends with Ino? Was Sasuke the excuse that you needed to ruin your friendship with her?”

There was a flicker of guilt before the girl gazed at the sky. “It didn’t help,” she muttered. “And the fact she constantly reminded me that I’m just a little bud kept annoying me since she isn’t anything special either.”  Her teammate scowled and looked away. “You wouldn’t get it. You always treated Hinata like she was your equal and despite having better status than you, Hinata never treated you like you were anything less.” She clenched her hands. “Ino? She complimented me and then give me backhanded compliments.”

The revelation drew a blank in her mind. Naruto just swallowed and looked at the clouds.

“Y’know you gave her the tool to do that,” she locked her eyes on the older girl and stated her own observations. “You always praised her even when she was acting like a bitch too, which was why she did it because you never told her—no.” Sakura opened her mouth to argue but she held her hand up. “Y’know why I never did that to Hinata? Or why Hinata never does that shit to me? We ain’t popular and we need each other. We can’t afford to lose our friendship; Ino can do that ‘cuz she’s a hell lot more popular than either of us.”

Sakura remained silent.

“You think it’s that easy, Naruto? When people make fun of you, you always bite back!” Her teammate pointed at her large forehead. “Ami and all the other girls bullied me for having a large forehead and you think I can just talk back? I’m not like you. I care about those things, I hid my forehead for seven months because of them.”

Naruto just stared at her. “You think it was easy for me to be bullied for my whisker marks? But if I cried, I gave Ami all the power she needs and I refuse to give her that power.” She locked her eyes at her teammate. “You went to your Mum, didn’t you when it happened? Cried to her and she reassured you, right? I never had that privilege, Sakura and that’s why I talk back.” The winds howled in the background. “I had to learn how to be crafty about these things because that’s the only way I know how to win against them.”

Sakura trembled and let out a quiet huff.

“And this is why I don’t get you, Naruto.”

The same could be said for her. She could never understand Sakura.

It hadn’t taken long for Kakashi-sensei, Tazuna and Sasuke to arrive to their meeting spot. Neither their instructor nor their teammate made a comment about the tremor in the air or the way Sakura hadn’t rushed straight towards the only boy in the team like she always did. They had been silent, though Kakashi had given her a look. The kind where he knew she had said something to make Sakura act a bit more professional around Sasuke, this time—she hadn’t done anything. Tazuna had inspected at her from head to toe, lips pursed into a thin line but didn’t dare utter a word about her attire or her bag. The fact he didn’t reek of sake meant he wasn’t drunk. Maybe, she decided as they walked through the empty road, the asshole behaviour was just amplified when he was drunk. People acted different when they were drunk.

She breathed in the crisp morning air; the scent of the leaves was particularly strong today. It should have been a good sign but there was no musky scent that could only belong to animals. Naruto darted her eyes to the trees. No birds. That was unusual for this time of the day if you asked her. Animals were predictable, in a hot day like this—they would go for some shade, but she couldn’t see any animals. Not even a sound. She ignored the twitch of her fingers while Sakura looked ahead. Sasuke had slowed down till he matched her own pace.

The older boy didn’t utter a word immediately, instead his shoulder bumped against hers. A subtle alert to start picking up the pace. She maintained her pace, unwilling to do his silent request. He eyed her. “You’re slowing down.” It wasn’t a question of concern for her well-being but a question of her observation. He glanced at the very same trees that she was looking at. “Uzumaki.”

“Have you ever spent time in the forest near the village?” she asked him with a casual tone. Sasuke raised his eyebrows at her, a little bit irritated but curious, while Kakashi-sensei hummed a little tune. Their instructor appeared unbothered, but she didn’t miss the way his lone eye darted at her. A hidden curiosity in his eye on where she was going with this. “I have, y’know I lived there for a while so I know a few things about their habits.”

Sasuke kept his expression blank, but his tone became slightly casual, a hint that he understood where she was leading with her words. “Like what?”

“Animals,” she replied as her eyes darted to the lone puddle on the ground. She could feel the chakra leaking out of it, could smell the hint of blood but her eyes could only see a puddle. Was it genjutsu? Genjutsu was known to distort the senses and yet her nose could smell metal. She could never forget the scent of blood, not after what happened with Mizuki.  “They are always the best clues about the world around you, y’know animals saved my life plenty of times when I lived in the forest.” She didn’t miss the way Kakashi’s eye focused on the puddle. “Funny how they aren’t here but we’ve a puddle instead. You think it rained recently?”

Sasuke maintained his mask and grunted. “I don’t know.”

Kakashi-sensei continued to hum but this time, his hands wandered onto their shoulders. A silent squeeze. Not a hint but a subtle order for them to move ahead. She glanced up at their instructor; he still had that easy-going atmosphere around him. A silent smile if his visible eye was of any suggestion. “I think it might have rained yesterday,” he said with a lazy but loud tone. Just loud enough for Sakura and Tazuna to look at them. He shrugged and lowered his tone till only her and Sasuke could hear him. “Astute observation but not the time.”

There was a warning in his tone as he subtly pushed them to move forward. Naruto licked her lips and glanced at Sasuke, her teammate shook but she knew from his eyes that it wasn’t fear. A secret excitement. She didn’t blame him. Her own blood sang with excitement at the knowledge that there was going to be some action. Sakura glanced at them. There was a hint of jealousy like there always was whenever the only boy in their team loomed closer to her, but her teammate swallowed and kept her eyes focused on Tazuna.

“Tazuna,” Sakura called out with a questioning voice. The one she always used whenever she had so many questions running through her mind. “You’re from Nami no Kuni, right?” It was an obvious question with an obvious answer but Naruto knew her teammate well enough to know she was just gathering the courage to ask the main question running through her mind. Sakura was never direct like a kunai, she could be like a snake—indirect to the point it was painful.

The builder grunted, unhappy with the question. “Yeah. What about it?”

Sakura tightened her grip on her bag. “When we were in school, we learnt that other than the Five Great Shinobi Village that there are smaller villages with shinobi,” she glanced at her and Sasuke. Naruto nodded. That was true but Nami no Kuni was an exception if she remembered correctly from looking at the maps. Satoru had made her study it because he thought it would be fun to torture her. When he asked her about that region and a few others—if there were ninjas there, she had stared at him and asked him if he wanted her to die from knowledge. He just smirked and patted her cheeks, teasing her for being slow. She had went to the Hokage to get some answers and he had told her point blank that not every country had one. It depends on geography; Naruto was what he had said to her. “Does Nami no Kuni not have one?”

“When villages need shinobi, it’s because we don’t have much interferences from other countries,” Tazuna answered with a grunt. “Nami no Kuni has nothing to offer for the other countries’ government to need us and we don’t have the resources to fund ‘em.” He nodded and looked at the blue sky. “Some people say ‘cuz we’re poor that we are a cursed country.” His voice became colder and thoughtful. “People have gone missing in my home, not just because of thugs but because of some weird creature.”

Naruto blinked. “Weird creature?”

“The weird boy in our neighbourhood call ‘em curses,” Tazuna explained. His whole body shuddered while Kakashi-sensei continued to hum, unbothered by the storytelling. “Maybe he’s right ‘cuz no one can see them except him and his shaman mother.” He stroked his beard. “People blame him and his weird mother for those disappearances, but I blame the thugs running amock. It makes more sense than some supposed creature made from human’s negative emotions.” He snorted. “My grandson believes that nonsense.”

Curse. That was what Satoru described them. He was going to be some kind of sorcerer, going to kill all of those things, but she just thought that he was pulling her leg like he always did. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the story, typical while Sakura shuddered. Tazuna just pulled out a sake bottle and began to drank it like it was some kind of water. “People will believe anything,” he complained. “The real reason people are dying if you asked me? It’s ‘cuz we don’t have the money and people can’t afford to feed their families like before. Fishing ain’t enough to survive and its crackpots like that shaman’s mother that take advantage of vulnerable people. ” The man wiped his mouth. “Don’t know how a crazy lady like her could have such a polite boy, it’ll be a real shame when he leaves—he’s a good influence on my grandson y’know. The only one willing to play with him, don’t know how Inari will feel when he goes to that advanced country.”

Sakura blinked. “Advanced country?”

“Japan,” Kakashi interjected. Everyone looked at the jounin, who had been quiet throughout the conversation. His tone was bland and closed off, nothing like his usual casual tone. More emotionless like the country brought up bad memories. “Once you go out of Nami no Kuni, you’ll find a nation and many others that are technically more advanced than us but the people are, perhaps, crueller.” His voice became chirpy. “But you three shouldn’t worry about going there. None of the shinobi villages ever take jobs over there.”

“You sure know a lot about Japan, Kakashi-sensei.” It was more of a statement from Sakura.

Their mentor hummed. “A jounin must know many things, my cute genin.”

As soon as Kakashi uttered those words, Naruto heard a sharp whistle. She spurn around as two chains wrapped around Kakashi-sensei. Two shinobi yanked the chain. From the Hitai-ate, they looked like they were from Kirigakure. Their eyes screamed of bloodlust and excitement. They tugged on the chain, a quick slice against Kakashi-sensei’s body. Parts of his body thrown all over, blood dripping and Naruto grabbed a kunai. A shrill scream. Not from Sakura. From Tazuna.

There was no immediate scent of blood, though the corpse looked believable enough.

She heard a hush in the wind and Naruto turned around to meet the cold eyes of the foreign shinobi. Her leg twisted, turned and slammed against one of their chests. They flew straight towards the tree like a hurled arrow. Sasuke jumped up, pulled out a kunai as the other one tried to throw a chain at her. At the hole, the kunai pinned the other shinobi straight at the tree. The boy landed on his feet like a cat and turned to her. Smug. Of course, he would be smug. He reacted faster than her.

“What the hell happened?” Sakura demanded. During the whole commotion, the girl had stood right in front of Tazuna with her fingers wrapped around the kunai. Her whole body seemed shaken but her green eyes were wide and alert. Naruto held her hand up, opened her own bag and tossed a rope to Sasuke. Without any prompting, the boy went ahead and tied up the unconscious shinobi. “Where did they come from? I didn’t see anything weird before this.”

Sasuke grunted. “The puddle.”

As soon as he finished pointing out the obvious, the body parts disappeared into a cloud of smoke. Sakura relaxed her shoulders while Naruto just stared at the newly revealed tree logs. Kakashi-sensei jumped down from the tree, clapping his hands. “Luckily, I only need one shinobi to get the answers Naruto or else I’ll be reprimanding for you being too harsh on this one,” Kakashi declared as he looked at the unconscious, tied-up shinobi. “I’m happy to see that none of you have gotten injured. Good reflexes and Sakura—I’m glad to see that you prioritise Tazuna despite not knowing what was going on.”

Sakura beamed at this praise, but Kakashi had his eyes focused on the shaken Tazuna. There was no amusement in his eyes, none of his usual laziness. Just pure calculation and weariness in his visible eye. “Tazuna,” his voice became colder. “I’ll need to talk to you about what you had done to put my genins in danger.”  The three genins blinked as their mentor casually walked towards the pinned shinobi. “Naruto.” She straightened her spine as Kakashi looked at her. “Do you know which village, these shinobi come from?”

“Kirikagure,” was her immediate answer.

Kakashi didn’t smile. “Correct,” he didn’t ruffle her hair like he always did whenever she got an answer correct. Instead, his lone eye focused on the struggling shinobi. Tazuna paled and began to sweat. The builder couldn’t look them in the eye. “But these shinobis aren’t genins. They’re chunins,” their mentor informed them as his eye now focused on the sweating client. “These particular ninjas are known to keep fighting, no matter what but do you know what’s more interesting?” None of them answered and their mentor continued to prattle on. “These shinobis are missing-nins.”

The Kiri shinobi stopped struggling and locked his furious eyes on them. “How did you know we were planning to attack?”

“Naruto made the first observation—animals weren’t in sight and if you know anything about animals, they know when to run from danger,” Kakashi began with a lazy tone. It was condescending but this time, Naruto had to say that he deserved it. “Then we had the water puddle. Sunny day like this? It shouldn’t have existed and that tipped me off.” He ruffled her hair, this time before patting Sasuke on the back. “You two are improving when it comes to your observations but next time, clue Sakura in with a more obvious meaning.”

Tazuna blinked and jerked his head at them. “Those two knew what was going on? Why didn’t they warn us?”

“Naruto and Sasuke knew something was up, they weren’t aware that there was an enemy shinobi and if they were aware—I wouldn’t allow them to alert you just yet,” Kakashi said with a dismissive voice as his eye focused on the struggling shinobi. “I could have just killed them when I became aware of the puddle, even before Naruto made the observation but I wouldn’t have figured out the real target.” His voice became quieter as his own hand pulled out a kunai. He toyed with it, uncaring of the way Tazuna flinched. “Were they after you? Or me? Maybe even one of my cute genins…like Sasuke.”

The winds became silent. The temperature dropped as their client avoided their stares. She understood why Kakashi-sensei singled out Sasuke, not because he was the supposed genius between the three of them, but because of his clan. Just like Hinata, there would be many people that would desire his eyes. She glanced at Sasuke. The boy stopped looking smug at those words, only grimaced and stared at the trees while Sakura furrowed her eyebrows at the clear distinction.

“Sakura, do you remember what the mission protocol was?”

Sakura straightened her spine. “We were told that we would protect Tazuna from thieves or gangs, nothing about enemy shinobi.”

“Precisely,” Kakashi said as he walked closer to the trembling shinobi. Without hesitation, he sliced the Kiri shinobi’s neck. It rolled off like a ball and their instructor stepped his foot against the skull. Sakura paled but she didn’t puke. Sasuke looked away. Naruto just stared with an empty and cold heart. “With what happened and my own observations, I deemed this to be a B-rank mission at minimum. Judging from your conversation, you can’t afford to have this become a B-rank mission and so you decided to not give some important details to us.” He flickered his eyes at the unconscious ninja. “We’re currently operating out of our pay range with shinobi that aren’t quite equipped to deal with a mission like this.”

Naruto stared at Tazuna, then looked at the unconscious ninja. It would be logical for them to go back. This was out of their skill range, a huge risk but it was a B-rank mission at minimum. A higher pay. Probably enough money for her to get closer to finding a better apartment. Sakura eyed her like she knew what was going through her head. “We probably should go back, Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto said casually. Sasuke raised his eyebrows at her but she shrugged and looked at Sakura. “I mean let’s think about it—we’re being paid for a job that isn’t worth the pay, and we’ve to think about the fact that we’ve someone with parents that probably won’t be happy if anything happens to her. A real headache for you, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi hummed, looking almost amused at her words. “That’s true. The pay won’t make for the headache I’ll receive if anything happens to any of you.” His eye darted to Tazuna, who looked almost shaken at his words. “I shouldn’t risk the lives of my genin just because you can’t afford to pay the actual fees for a mission that needs more experienced shinobis.” He hummed. “When we return back to Konoha, I’ll inform the Hokage that I made a call based on the skill levels of my genin and the information hidden from us…unless you can provide a reason why I should risk the lives of these three inexperienced genins.”

Tazuna clenched his jaw. “Are you trying to blackmail me?”

“Just need one reason why we should continue this mission with the current pay instead of going back, telling the Hokage the truth and have him bring in more experienced shinobi with the right pay grade,” Kakashi said with a bland tone.  He inspected the tied up shinobi. “If anything happened to my cute genins, not only will I get an earful from the Hokage for not calculating the risk but the paperwork for this? Not something I’ll look forward to, not when the pay doesn’t match with the risk. B-ranks are paid higher due to risks, it is how we calculated the cost-benefit.” He looked at them. “Remember that, you three.”

The bridge builder trembled and looked at the incapacitated shinobi. “I had a good reason. I can’t afford the village’s ridiculous pay.”

“Not good enough,” Kakashi declared. “Three genins could have been killed, genins who are old enough to be your grandchildren, and you would risk their lives just because you can’t afford the pay. Such flimsy enough for us to turn back, tell the Hokage that your mission should be blacklisted.” His voice was cold and calculating, uncaring about the sweat pouring out of the old man.

The man exhaled shakily, his eyes flicking between the three genin like he was finally seeing them for what they were — kids who could die because of his silence. He sat on the ground, closing his eyes. “I didn’t think it would be this bad, that he would go this far,” Tazuna admitted. He focused his eyes on the weakest member, the softest one. Sakura. “Do you know a man called Gato?” The three of them remained silent but Kakashi’s lone eye shone with some interest. “So you heard of him, haven’t you?”

“He is one of the richest men in the world,” Kakashi said blandly. “He owns the Gato company.”

Tazuna grimaced and took a huge gulp from his sake bottle. There was annoyance in his eyes alongside a crippling hatred, Naruto could only guess what the man had done to earn his hatred. “To the world, he seems like a good man with a legitimate business when it comes to shipping,” he wiped his mouth and growled. “But do you know that it’s only a front—he sells drugs, does human trafficking and whatever dirty thing you can think of? He has done it to our poor country. He’s a leech that has taken over our shipping industry but if I build this bridge, I ruin his business.”  He grimaced. “With the state of our economy, we can’t afford to hire jounins to protect me.”

Naruto kept silent. The righteous thing, she knew, was to just do the mission without complaint. It would look good for them in the future but the pay, she knew, was not going to work for her in the end. She ignored the way Sakura’s faltered, looking almost pitiful while Sasuke scowled. It seemed like those two were going to be swayed by him. It didn’t help that the birds came back, singing a mournful song. Kakashi remained blank-faced, uncaring for the sob story.

“So you would rather risk our lives than to negotiate?” Naruto asked casually, clasping her hands behind her head. Tazuna blinked while Kakashi looked at her with an unreadable expression. Sakura regarded her like she was heartless but if you asked her, she wasn’t heartless. She was just thinking about how to turn things around for them. “Y’know tell that sob story to the Hokage and he would have negotiate with you, y’know 15% of your country profit to the village just until you can pay back the actual payment for a B-rank—maybe even A-rank ‘cuz a rich, dirty man like Gato? He would go for missing nin that are stronger, I guess. I mean if I wanted to kill someone who could ruin my business, I would hire the strongest and dirtiest shinobi that I can get my hands on.” She smiled and fluttered her eyelashes. “But since the  old man doesn’t know yet, you can tell the Hokage that you are willing to give my team about 20% of your pay till say…until you’re dead, or one of us is. Fair trade, right?”

Sakura grabbed her by the wrist and hissed. “Are you trying to milk this man for money?”

“We’re shinobi, not heroes,” Naruto declared, yanking her hand. She looked at Tazuna, who twitched, and then at their instructor. He looked both amused and exasperated by her line of thought. Sasuke didn’t look all that surprised by her demands. Then again, he never cared for these things. He did have more money than her.  “And you think Tazuna over there isn’t telling us this so he can get away with lying to us? It’s a classical manipulation tactic—don’t fall for his sob story, even if it’s true.”

Kakashi let out a quiet chuckle as Tazuna stared at her—horrified. “Naruto, here, as you can see is a bit colder than her teammates. You can understand, can’t you? When you live in the streets like she did, you’re just…built differently.” His tone was casual as he pulled out a book. Unbothered by the fact that she was trying to negotiate terms for them. “She doesn’t have the final say, I’m still considering whether to continue this mission or not.” He hummed. “But if all three of them agree, maybe we can come to an... equitable solution.”

Naruto smiled, pleased at his words. He wasn’t saying it but Kakashi trusted her to win a favour that would work for the village. She took a seat on the ground and stared at the pale-faced man. That would teach him for being rude to her, yesterday. He glanced at Sasuke and Sakura, both of whom were looking at her like she was the monster for not falling for his sob story. The man inspected her.

“I’ve a grandson and a daughter that would blame you if I die.”

She just stared. “And Sakura over there has a mother that would rip you apart for lying since it’s her child that is doing the mission. Your daughter? She’ll get over it,” Naruto looked at the wandering clouds while the winds howled in the background. Sakura gawked at her. Tazuna gazed at her like she was some monster. “What? That shit works on Miss. Heart over there, not on me. Remember—I lost my parents, and I moved on. The same goes for your daughter; you’re old. Sakura? She’s still a baby in her mother’s eyes and you’ll be cursed by her parents.” She hummed. “But say give 25% in the scenario that Sakura dies and maybe it’ll make her mother feel better if anything happens to her baby girl. If it was your child, wouldn’t you want grief money?”

Tazuna clenched his jaw.

“You’ve a deal but only if we don’t go back.”

Chapter Text

In the end, Kakashi-sensei agreed to do Tazuna’s mission with her stipulation. Naruto hadn’t expected it, not when she knew from her own observations of their instructor that he was the logical kind. Not emotional like Sakura. Even now as they sat on the wooden boat, she couldn’t help but glance at their instructor through the misty sky. She breathed in the misty air, exhaling as her eyes focused on the roots of the mangrove trees. Tazuna took a dragged sip of his sake while the captain stirred the boat, eyes filled with fear like he expected a thief to attack them.

Naruto shook her head and tugged on Kakashi’s sleeve. The man glanced down at her with unreadable eye, she swallowed and rubbed her arms. “Kakashi-sensei,” she lowered her voice and locked her eyes on the blurry trees ahead of them. “Why did you decide to help him in the end? The Hokage won’t like this,” Naruto paused and then continued when the man didn’t interrupt her. “I know I said all those things but Kakashi-sensei, the protocol would have made you return us back to the village.”

Kakashi didn’t answer her immediately. Instead, he rubbed his covered chin and focused his lone eye on Tazuna. The man had stopped drinking but hadn’t turned to look at them. Sakura and Sasuke, on the other hand, had twisted their bodies around to look at their instructor. The silence stretched on until it seemed forever. Just when she was about to slump her shoulders was when their instructor offered his reasoning.

“Sometimes we’re put in situations where we need to break rules,” Kakashi explained in a thoughtful tone. He leaned back, causing the boat to rock just a little bit as the mist continued to thicken. “You’re right—the Hokage will give me an earful for continuing this mission when the three of you don’t have the skills to accomplish this.” He took a deep breath and then focused his eye on her. “But I believe the ripple effect and the stipulation you made…will allow me to deal with that headache and the headache of paperwork.” His tone became quieter. “If the Fourth Hokage had heard his sob story, he would ‘ve done it without the stipulation.”

She blinked, just a little bit taken back by the fact that Kakashi had mentioned the Fourth Hokage. She hadn’t expected him to bring the man up not when very little people talked about him in that kind of manner. Swallowing, Naruto looked at the planks on the boat. “Kakashi-sensei, you talk like you really knew him.” The Third Hokage never talked about his successor like Kakashi had done. Always professional but with always tiny hints of guilt.

His expression became blank while the waters remained still. Sakura and Sasuke stared at him, also subtly curious of their instructor and his mysterious past. Finally, he clasped his hands together. “The Fourth Hokage was my mentor,” he replied. “So, I suppose I’m one of the few people who really knew him.” She swallowed and stared down at her hands. If the Hokage was his mentor, he should hate her…not treat her with such trust.

Sakura tilted her head to the side, her green eyes lit up with curiosity. “What was he like, Kakashi-sensei?”

The winds blew, a gentle touch on her neck, and their instructor looked at the large roots looming over them. “Minato-sensei was different from me,” he confessed with a quiet voice. It wasn’t memorising or sad, just emotionless like he blocked the memories. “He knew how to take a joke and was always softer in ways that I can never be.” The winds howled in the background; the boat rattled until a splash of cold water hit her.

There was a tightness on her shoulder like a subtle pressure to remind her to gain her footing. She looked up to find her instructor staring blankly at the dark waters. She ignored the way Tazuna inspected them, his eyes held his curiosity while the captain turned the boat to avoid the large, hard roots. “You really think your old Hokage would've made the same deal your blonde brat did,” the builder grumbled, and Naruto just narrowed her eyes at him. She was tempted to just give him the finger.

Kakashi didn’t twitch, just nodded. “Naruto was kinder, other shinobi would’ve killed you on the spot for what you’ve done,” he said it so casually that Naruto jerked her head at him. Tazuna gripped his neck but her mentor paid no attention, just stared straight at the blurred figure of the mangrove. “But the Fourth Hokage would’ve folded when you told your story, he was that kind of man—always guided by his heart when it came to matters like that.”

Then why did he choose to use me? How did he know I can hold the Kyuubi? She wanted to ask the question outloud but swallowed it instead. Not the time. Neither Sakura nor Sasuke knew the truth, she didn’t want them to know. Satoru was one thing but the first person to know the truth about her was going to be Hinata. She deserved it. The winds became calmer, almost soothing but she could feel Kakashi’s lone eye on her.

“Why are you looking at me, Kakashi-sensei?”

Kakashi kept a blank expression. “I thought you would be interested to know about the Fourth Hokage,” a stretch of silence before the man turned his head away. “If you wish to become Hokage, Naruto then you need to learn about the previous Hokage’s way of doing things. The Fourth was in some ways different from the Third when it came to his dealings with people.”  He nodded. “He was kind when needed but never babied anyone. He believed strength came from walking through the fire, not around it.”

She dipped her hand into the cold water. “So, he wouldn’t have approved of what I’ve done since he’s kinder.”

Tazuna and Sakura stared at her but she refused to look up at them. Instead, she stared at her reflection. Satoru had always told her that she should never care about what other people think because she had to act like the future Hokage. He made her read books, told her of how his grandfather taught him, and she guessed she had seen how underhanded methods got the result that she wanted. She pulled her hand out, staring at the ripples in the water.

“He was kinder, but his upbringing was different,” mused Kakashi. She jerked her head while the silver-haired man looked to the rippling water. “He had a softer childhood than you so he saw people for what they could be—not for what they really could be.”

Naruto didn’t smile or relax. She just looked at the mist. “I thought the Hokage needs to be cunning and merciless.”

There was a quiet atmosphere around Kakashi while Sakura just stared at her like she was some foreign object. Maybe, she was. When she had been in the Academy, she hadn’t displayed those traits openly. It wouldn’t win her any favours in the long run. The Hokage always encouraged her to do this instead of going for her pranks. She looked at her reflection. What would have happened if Satoru had never given her the first step of not caring about what other people thought of her? Would the old man had given her that advice? Would she ever use this brain of hers if it weren’t for him?

“When it came to battle, Minato-sensei was ruthless,” Kakashi acknowledged. “But when it came to matters of people needing help, he was kinder and more open-hearted. Though the reason for his own kindness came from falling  for his partner and witnessing all the things she had been through.” His eye drifted to her with a knowingness. “I’m sure you can understand of changing because of a person.”

She did understand, she guessed. Without Satoru, she would have done anything to get people’s approval because that was all she ever cared about. Naruto ignored the burning eyes of her teammates, the curious eyes of Tazuna and just stared at the large roots. It towered over them and for a moment, she remembered the days when she climbed over the tree roots, excited to get some fish from the rivers. Fresh fish from the river always tasted better than the store bought one.

“Wait, the Fourth Hokage had a partner?” Sakura asked, bringing her back to reality. She snuck a glance at Sasuke, but the boy remained unfazed. “She must’ve been upset when he died but…how come no one talks about her? Is she even alive? She would’ve been a celebrity, wouldn’t she?”

Their instructor just looked straight ahead, completely blank-faced. “She was a refugee from our sister village and had been with Minato-sensei since she was around your age,” he exhaled like it pained him. She could imagine. Loving someone at 12 just seemed weird if you asked her. “But they knew each other for much longer, they were soulmates after all.” At those words, Tazuna let out a loud snort.

“Soulmates? Sounds like a load of bullshit.”

Naruto ignored the stare from Sakura. She knew what her teammate expected from her. To loudly agree with him but it was difficult when Satoru was her soulmate. Though, she couldn’t imagine falling for that annoying boy right now. Or ever. If his personality was just a little bit better, I might like him. She lowered  her hand once more, ignoring the tingle from the water. He was better than Shikamaru. If he was born in Konoha, she wouldn’t mind pretending to have a crush on him.

He would’ve made it fun. No, insufferable.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t call it bullshit,” Kakashi admitted. “They did die on the same day; one would call it romantic.” As if to prove his point, Sakura let out a dreamy sigh.

The pink-haired girl shuffled closer to Sasuke, and the boy leaned further away. The girl let out a soft sigh. “I think it’s wonderful that there is someone out there for everyone,” she closed her eyes and let out another sigh. “And I think it’s romantic that they died on the same day. It shows how perfect they are for each other.”

Naruto laughed, not bitter but amused. Her teammate scowled and she just shrugged her shoulders. “A soulmate isn’t supposed to be perfect,” she said casually. “If you think they’re supposed to be perfect, you get upset and it’s just your fault. If you ask me about soulmates, I think they’re just people that are meant to push you to be the best version of yourself.” She didn’t look at them, just stared at the waters. “Imagine having a soulmate that not only believes in you but pushes you to reach your goal. I think that’s great.”

Sasuke remained silent.

“That’s love.”

She grinned and looked at Sasuke. “You sound like a real romantic, Sasuke.”

He twitched and turned.

“Screw you, Uzumaki.”

Nothing really stood out to her until they were only a short distance away from their destination as Tazuna had declared. His knees, he had declared, were a good indication of whether they were close to his home. The skies were clear, not completely dark but not blue like before. Yet, her senses were tingling as if there was another chakra source close to them. Not civilian but something else entirely. She ignored the thunder in her heart and stared at her instructor. He was leading the pack, a smart decision when the next attacker could be stronger than those idiots. Smarter too.

The birds didn’t sing but from behind the bushes, she saw a shadow. It didn’t look like an animal, but it wasn’t human either. The wind didn’t carry any scent except for the animals and their scent. She glanced at the clouds drifting away from them, just aimless without any sense of urgency. A luxury. She envied them for that moment. Naruto shook her head, paused when she heard another rustle behind another bush. A trick of the mind? She could throw a kunai but why waste a perfectly good kunai based on an urge?

“Shouldn’t we be making a plan on what to do next, Kakashi-sensei?” She asked quietly. Her mouth felt dry while her skin itched and tingled as her brain continued to fire signals for her to run away. Naruto took a deep breath, then controlled her voice. “We can’t just protect him and not strike first, he has to know by now that Tazuna had gotten legitimate shinobi helping him out.” Her lips became just a little bit drier. “He isn’t going to just leave him alone.”

Kakashi didn’t turn his head around to answer her. He focused on the long, winding road ahead of them. “Once we arrived in Tazuna’s home, all of us can discuss and weighed our options,” he said casually. “For now, we should focus on the first part of the mission—getting him home safely. We can’t decide when we haven’t done the first part properly.” With his tone, she would think her mentor didn’t truly care to plan but he had never given her any indication that he didn’t weigh things properly.

She rolled her eyes. “You mean we throw ideas at you; you tell us why it can or cannot work before throwing what you actually want to do,” Sasuke nodded while Kakashi hummed—the usual hint of his amusement. Naruto pushed on, trying not to let her voice be coloured with annoyance. “And we aren’t actually going to fight them, are we? The truth is that you’re going to be dealing with this but we’ll be shadowing you ‘cuz you ain’t reckless enough to put us in danger.”

Kakashi laughed. “Is my cute little genin upset about that?”

“About you listening to our ideas then dismissing them? Yup,” she answered quietly. “But not fighting the stronger shinobi? Not really, I know my place. We ain’t strong or experienced enough to deal with them—just yet, and I’m not particularly eager to die just yet. I haven’t even kiss a guy yet.” Sakura nodded while Sasuke just stared at her. Not in disgust but a subtle disbelief. She huffed. “C’mon I can be like a girl too, Sasuke! Can you imagine how embarrassing it’ll be?”

He rolled his eyes at her. “You’re being dramatic.”

She was. Not kissing a boy wasn’t a big deal but it was just one of those expected milestones. She let out another sigh—there was no reason for her to just explain herself to him or even try. Sasuke wasn’t built like her. She craved connections while he avoided it like a plague. With a quiet shake of her head, she looked back at Kakashi. “Y’know if you didn’t want to risk us getting hurt, you could’ve sent us back and continue on with the mission.”

“It was a consideration,” Kakashi mused as the bush rustled again. “But it would’ve been risky; for all I know, Gato’s goons would’ve attacked the three of you.” He slid his hands into his pockets, uncaring of the way Tazuna paled at his words. “I could’ve taken you three back but that would’ve been inefficient and waiting for someone to pick you three up, would’ve been a waste of valuable resources.” He paused and then shrugged his shoulders. “In the end, this was the best solution for our current situation.”

When he laid out the options, she understood why he chose to go with this option. Their safety was never going to be guaranteed. She paused when she heard the soft crunch on the grass. Her throat shivered up. When she heard the sharp whistle in the wind, she grabbed onto Tazuna and threw him to the ground. She felt something heavy on her back, a sweet-scent wafted and she knew Sakura was on top of her. Sasuke had decided to topple over the bridge builder while Kakashi had crouched down.

From the ground, she saw a few strands of her golden hair on the ground. Sharply cut like a knife had sliced through it.  She swallowed and looked up to find Sakura staring at her. A tiny scowl on her face before the girl quickly got off of her. Naruto grunted. She should thank her but thank you weren’t words that came easily to her. You can be a little bit guff but that’s your charm was what Hinata would say with a shy smile. Her teammate looked uncomfortable and for her sake, she would never bring this up again.

Instead, she focused on the man standing on the sword’s edge. On a sword that was stuck against the tree branch. His eyes were cold, not the coldness of the villagers or Mizuki, but a coldness that she had always associated with hardened shinobi. Naruto glanced at Kakashi. That relaxed demeanour was gone, replaced with a straightened spine and a weary eye.

“Well if it isn’t Momochi Zabuza,” Kakashi drawled as he darted his eye at them. A silent warning for them not to even think of approaching the man, not that they would. The three of them weren’t stupid or reckless enough to do it. “He’s a missing-nin,” their mentor continued on and his voice became just a little bit thoughtful. “And just like you thought Naruto, Gato did hire someone stronger. He’s closer to my level than the two who tried to ambush us earlier.”

She could tell from that large sword that he was in a different level, could tell from the coldness and quietness in his movement that he had been different. Even now, she felt her skin shivered and the desire to run. Naruto swallowed the lump in her throat even though it was non-existent. “Yeah, I can tell he’s smarter and more dangerous than those two idiots,” the man looked both pleased and insulted by her words. “He didn’t do anything to give him away like they did.”

“You wouldn’t be able to achieve the rank of Jounin if you could,” Kakashi acknowledged. His hand drifted to his headband, the one that he never lifted just like he never lifted his mask. Her heart began to race because no one knew what laid beneath his headband. They made bets, had tried everything to look, but the man always destroyed their plans. When she had told Satoru, he told her that if he was there then he could see. His eyes were that amazing—apparently. “And considering time constraints, it’s better that I give it my all.”

Zabuza’s expression didn’t change but the air sizzled like a succulent meat, the good kind that she could never afford. “Am I going to get the gift of seeing your infamous sharingan—all because my target is that pathetic old man?” His words were mocking but Naruto didn’t focus on him. She focused on Sasuke. The moment he brought up the Sharingan, her teammate had stiffened and his expression had became baffled like he hadn’t expected it to come up. She could guess why. Just like how Byakugan was treasured, the Uchiha Clan had been praised for the Sharingan. Even now, she remembered the shinobis that had envied the members of the Uchiha Clan that had it.

“I want you to surround Tazuna,” Kakashi began to lift his headband. His eyes were still focused on Zabuza but a shadow washed over him, bringing out a grimness in his appearance. “No matter what happens, stay out of this fight. You jump in, you die — even if you think you’ve got a brilliant plan.” She felt like those words were directed at her. His tone became colder. “Teamwork—right now—is what is going to determine the success of this mission.”

The headband lifted to reveal the Sharingan. She should’ve focused on the fact that he had the Kekkei Genkei on one eye but what stumped her was how much he looked like an older Satoru. Just with a different hair colour and eye colour. She had told Satoru in passing but she never really took it seriously till now. Would he look like this? Would he look as cool as Kakashi-sensei? No. He was a dork. He was her dork.

“It’s cute how you treat those three like they’re actually shinobi,” Zabuza’s tone was mocking, and she was tempted to throw a kunai at him. To yell at him because she was a kunoichi. She had done everything in her power to get here. “But they haven’t done anything to be considered shinobi. Unlike you, they aren’t even in my bingo book.” The temperature dropped as the water slammed against the river bank. “You copied all those jutsu while these kids had done nothing.”

Her blood boiled as the man straightened his spine. She shuffled closer to Tazuna, flanking his right while Sasuke took centre and Sakura flanked the man’s left side. Zabuza sneered at them. Then kicked off the branch, yanked his sword and jumped on top of the water. His chakra control, Naruto noted, was better than hers. She hadn’t improved to the point where she could stand like that shinobi. Just a little bit more practise and maybe she would be confident as him.

A single leaf swirled around Zabuza. Earlier, there had been no mist and now a blanket of mist had begun to weave until it was as thick as the heaviest cloud. Her senses were a mess. This wasn’t a normal mist, normal mist would allow her to sense chakra. With this blanket of mist, she sensed chakra everywhere. This was bad. He could attack them at any moment. With how quiet his movements had been, he could easily slice their necks. She swallowed and pulled out her kunai, the handle would be her anchor.

She turned around and then froze as an image appeared. A phantom-like appearance of white hair and the brightest blue eyes. Satoru. She took in a lungful of air as his image became just a little bit clearer. He wore  his kimono, his eyes were bright and eager but then it was replaced with confusion. He turned his whole body around, looking at her—then to Sakura and Sasuke. His lips were curved into a befuddled smile. “Um Naruto, why are you dreaming about this? Cuz I wanna have fun, not be in a scene from one of my Mum’s favourite movies.”

Her mind went blank.

“What the hell are you doing here, Satoru?”  Her teammates stared at her like she had lost her mind. She hadn’t lost her mind. Never in a million years would she dream of him in a middle of a battle. Her whole body quivered as her eyes darted around the thick blanket of mist. This was a pain. If she talked to him, she wouldn’t focus on Tazuna and this whole mission was going to be ruined. She shouldn’t be seeing him in real life.

He blinked and uttered the words that she never wanted to hear.

“What do you mean why? Shouldn’t I be here—this is just a dream, right?”

Chapter Text

When Satoru had went to bed, he expected either two things to happen: for him to be in another one of his dreams with Naruto or just have a normal dream. He hadn’t expected to stand in a misty forest with Naruto and five other people. There was a pink-haired girl with green eyes, she had to be Sakura since she was the only other female here. She was cute but not as cute as Naruto, he acknowledged. His soulmate could be cute until she scowled or open her mouth. Then the cuteness faded and he was left wondering how he ended up with a not-cute soulmate.

Naruto looked the same, but she had a headband around her waist. Either his soulmate had a smaller waist than he thought or that headband could be expanded. Considering how tiny she was, Satoru would assume it was the smaller waist. His soulmate stared at him, lips parted and eyes wide like she hadn’t expected him to be here. Considering how she had been surprised by him being here, he supposed she didn’t expect him to appear. This wasn’t a dream, he realised as his eyes took in the weird mist. There was some kind of energy, nothing like cursed energy but he could see it. Could see the man hidden in the mist. Do people here not know the wonder of wearing shirts? Grandfather and his mother would be horrified by this man.

“So, I’m guessing this isn’t another one of our dreams? This is real?” He asked her. His hands were translucent but he didn’t float like a ghost did. Weird. Was this another development for being soulmates? His mother never told him about those things. Satoru took a deep breath and glanced at the only old man in the group. He looked younger than his grandfather but weaker, much more smaller than his grandfather. “And is that the rude drunk that insulted you? You got upset with this guy?” He took a couple of steps and poked the man, only for his finger to go through.

It really did look like he couldn’t interact with people in this state. Damn and here he was thinking that he could be like Casper the Ghost.

“Yes, it’s real and I’m on a mission!” Naruto barked. Her teammates looked at her like she was insane. To them, she was but he only laughed. Her eyebrows twitched and her lips coiled into that cute little scowl that should be scary but was not. She was like a cute kitten now that he was used to her. “And you haven’t answered my question! What are you doing here?”

He took a seat on the grass, eyes focused on the heavy mist. “Honestly, no idea. I went to bed, thought I would see you and boom-bam I’m here.”  He rubbed his chin and observed the mist carefully, noting the man that was now approaching his soulmate. “And I think you should focus on Mr. Weirdo; he’s coming towards you with that cool-ass sword! Hey, you think you can ask him where I can buy such an awesome sword?”

She looked at him like he was a complete and utter idiot. “Right because that’s what normal people do in a mission and you can see him?” He nodded and Naruto pulled on her bottom lip. A sign she was thinking about something, planning vengeance usually because he had seen her do that whenever she complained about her stupid classmates. She nodded. Then yanked the old man closer to her just as the weirdo plopped in the middle of them.

Mr. Weirdo’s eyes were wide for a moment like he hadn’t expected for Naruto to do it. Her teammates just stared at her, eyes wide and lips parted like she was some kind of alien. He grinned and placed his hands over his head.  The silver-haired man had a blank expression, not completely surprised, but what took him back wasn’t the weird eye. It was how much he resembled his grandfather when he had been young. The hair colour and eyes were different but the facial features from beneath his mask? Just like him,

His grandfather’s look alike had a kunai in his hand and stabbed Mr. Weirdo in the ribcage.  There should have been blood, it would have been cooler if there had been blood, but water dripped out. Satoru furrowed his eyebrows together. Human bled with blood so why was water coming out? He glanced at Naruto. The teen seemed to be almost at a daze before her eyes widened. She jerked her finger at his grandfather’s lookalike. “Kakashi-sensei! Behind you!”

As soon as Naruto screamed those words, Mr. Weirdo became a body of water. That, he decided, was a lot cooler than blood. He took a couple of steps closer to his soulmate and poked his finger against her. She jerked her head at him, lips curled into a scowl and he raised his hands at her. “C’mon this is the first time that this ever happens, let me see what I can do here! By the way, can you do that cool water thing?” She just stared at him and he shrugged. “What? You expect me to panic? I can’t get hurt here so I’ve no reason to be panicking like you guys.”

She exhaled. “No, I can’t do that—yet,” her teammates stared at her but his soulmate continued to prattle on. “And no, I didn’t expect you to panic but if you can fucking see him then I expect you to help us, you ass!” He tilted his head, pleased at her plea and his soulmate scowled and jabbed him on the chest. Yeah, she was the only one that could touch him. “And looks like I can touch you so help me or I’ll send you to your family with another broken nose.”

Sasuke looked at Naruto. “You finally lost it.”

“I haven’t lost it,” she barked before she turned her head at him. “And you! Stop asking me so many fucking questions and just help my team survive this mess! If you don’t help us, not only will I break your nose but playing Digimon? Never happening if you don’t get your act together!”

“You know if you haven’t threaten me with the Digimon, I would tell you to act just a little bit cuter when asking me to help you.” He grumbled and she stared at him like he was a moron. Satoru sighed and looked at the scene before them. Kakashi had his kunai against the man’s neck but it was pointless if you asked him. That man didn’t seem to have any blood, just pure energy. “Tell Mr. Grandpa-look-alike that Mr.Weirdo is just another one of those clones. Man, you really can’t let me enjoy the finer things in life!”

Naruto scowled and looked at Kakashi. “Kakashi-sensei, it’s another clone!” Kakashi eyed her for a moment and to prove her point, he jabbed the kunai at the man’s neck. Water immediately hit the ground. It was becoming boring if you asked him. Satoru let out another yawn and placed his head on Naruto’s shoulder. His soulmate didn’t argue with him about doing it. His eyes darted to the pink-haired girl, who stared at Naruto like she had lost her mind.

“You know I expected for there to be a bit more actions,” he complained in Naruto’s ear as his eyes took in the mist. Mr. Weirdo had frozen when Naruto mentioned the clone but there was interest in his eyes. His lips curved into a smile. “And with how much you complain about your teammate caring about her skincare, I thought she would be cuter than you. Turns out you’re the cutest one out there.”

His soulmate’s cheeks pinkened then faded before she scowled. “Focus! And why the fuck are you focusing on that?”

“Jealous? Don’t worry you’re the only kunoichi for me,” he teased her. She looked at him with wide eyes and he grinned. “What? This isn’t a confession, it’s the truth since you’re the only kunoichi I know. What? You want me to confess my undying love for you here? Who knew you could be a romantic!” The wide eyes faded and Naruto smiled sweetly. His blood became cold. He knew that look. Knew that she was going to punch him when this was all over.

Damn, he really did take things too far.

Mr. Weirdo crunched on the grass. Then, charged straight at Kakashi. He swirled his sword, a swoosh in the wind, but Kakashi ducked like he anticipated his move. He glanced at the water. Normally, water was normal but there was energy in there. Thick like a wet blanket. A trap? He exhaled and brushed his lips against Naruto’s ears. “Whisper this time because I think your teammates are starting to think that you’re crazy,” she didn’t react but she nodded. He continued. “You see that lake over there? The water seems weird like there is some kind of energy so make sure Mr. Grandpa-look-alike doesn’t go to the water. If he does, it might be game over for you guys.”

She nodded and licked her lips. “Thanks for the tip.”

“Does that mean you’ll play Digimon with me?”

Naruto stared at him for a moment, then smiled and nodded. He grinned and held himself back from hugging her. Instead, he exhaled and waited to see what she would do next. Naruto was crafty. Would definitely knew how to help her team with what he had just told her. It was only a matter of time before people would be amazed by her. His soulmate licked her lips. “Hey Zabuza! Planning to trap Kakashi-sensei again! Cuz the mist and water is becoming too obvious if you ask me!”

Zabuza froze and jerked his head at Naruto. His eyes were wide, too taken aback, but that was all Kakashi needed. The man grabbed his kunai and stabbed the man right in the chest. Blood dripped out like a sprinkler. He stared blankly while Sakura and Sasuke stared at Naruto. His soulmate was quiet, body slumped and he remained silent. Zabuza clutched his chest, surprisingly he could still move, and kicked Kakashi in the stomach.

It would have been impressive if Kakashi hadn’t stayed in his place. The man didn’t hurl, just stared coldly at the man before placing his hands together. Hand seals if he remembered correctly. Naruto had told him about it or rather he quizzed her about it because it had been in one of her tests. Lightning crept into the man’s hand. How? How could he do that? His lips became dried and he jumped when the man hurled the lightning at him. There was a hound in the lightning and it bite the man right in the neck. That had to kill him.

“Awesome,” he whispered.

The man bled from his neck and his chest, but his hand clutched the sword handle. His eyes were focused on Naruto. There was anger, hatred and the bloodlust in his eyes. He threw the sword straight at Naruto. It rattled the birds. Went right past him. His soulmate rolled away, grabbing Tazuna while she did so. The sword impaled the tree. Gojo licked his dried lips and stared at Naruto. Her whole body trembled but she didn’t cry at what just happened. Not that he thought she would. She always held herself together after all.

Sakura and Sasuke stared at the sword. Naruto steadied the old man while Zabuza laughed, blood creeping out of his mouth. “Looks like your genin isn’t some kind of mind reader,” he taunted as he forced himself to stand up. The man pushed his leg to the side, blood still dribbled down from his neck and chest. The grass now reeked of blood. “For a moment, she fooled me. Made me think she had some Kekkei Genkei like yours but that proves she doesn’t know everything.”

Naruto stared at the man and barked. “I don’t need a Kekkei Genkei! I got something even better than that!”

Zabuza disappeared, then reappeared. He grabbed Naruto by the neck, squeezing her throat as his lips curved into a cruel smile. “And what’s better than a Kekkei Genkei?” Her eyes darted to him and numbly, he realised what she meant. Him. She was talking about him. He swallowed and closed his eyes. Zabuza laughed and tightened his grip on her neck. She wheezed while Kakashi remained silent. “Tell me? What does this little snot-nose genin think is even better than a Kekkei Genkei? Do you know how many men will die to have a Kekkei Genkei?”

He clenched his jaw and felt the rage building inside of him as Naruto’s face began to pale. He glanced at Kakashi, who was doing some strange jutsu, then at Sakura and Sasuke. The pink-haired girl was crying, Sasuke was frozen while the old man looked ready to puke. Why weren’t they doing anything? Why weren’t they doing a single thing? His temper rose. And somehow he found himself screaming: “Let Naruto go!”

The birds rattled and Naruto grabbed the man’s hand. She smashed her foot against his chest. Immediately, she fell down to the ground and spat out some blood. She looked up at him, eyes completely wide and he looked away. Too embarrassed to admit that he had been terrified for her. She laughed, loud and freely. “I didn’t think you would be so emotional,” she taunted him as she forced herself to stand up. “And looks like I’m still standing!” Her smile faded when she realised that the man was on the ground. That he wasn’t moving.

That blood was now seeping into the grass. She swallowed and stared at him like he could give her some answer, but he just stared at the blood-soaked grass. Kakashi walked towards the man and turned him around. His eyes were gazed. His lips were bloodied. “It appears that his body has finally gave out,” the man stated. He looked at the mist that had now disappeared before focusing his eyes on Naruto, who was frozen. “You didn’t kill him, Naruto. He was already running on borrowed time since the moment my jutsu hit him.”

The whole world became silent but Naruto just looked at the corpse.

“What kept him alive, Kakashi-sensei?”

The man looked at the body for a moment. “Shinobis will do anything to make sure a mission is a success. Zabuza is no exception,” he said quietly. “But what I’m more interested in, Naruto is how you knew about his water clones and his supposed trap.” His eyes became stern as he focused on her. His soulmate swallowed while the team members looked at her with wide eyes. “You talking to yourself isn’t normal so tell me what is going on.”

Naruto swallowed and laughed, a fake one. He knew her sincere laughs, the loudness in them. The pure joy in them. “Maybe you train me so well that I can predict what is going on?” she asked sweetly with an awkward smile. He chuckled but Kakashi just stared at her, no amusement in his eyes. The man lowered his headband, hiding his weird eye from the world. “Maybe I lost my mind and through my insanity, I gained the awesome ability to predict things?”

Satoru snorted and walked closer to her. He placed his head on her tiny shoulder and let out a yawn. “I don’t think he believes you. Why don’t you tell him that you have some kind of fairy godmother guiding you? That’s more believable than you knowing what to do.” She threw an annoyed look at him and he raised his hands. “Or why don’t you tell him that your handsome soulmate is here and has an ability that allows him to see energy? Tell him that I’m so handsome and that I look like a younger version of him.”

Kakashi tapped his foot, he looked unconvinced. “Naruto, I’m not going to ask again.”

“My soulmate!” Naruto barked. He jerked his head at her and she pinkened while Sasuke, Sakura and Tazuna looked at her like she was insane. Actually, Satoru decided, this might work. No one was going to believe her. “He’s here and he’s been helping me. Satoru has this really weird eye ability that he calls Six Eyes, though he says it works on curses but it worked today—so I don’t know what’s going on. Anyway, he helped me! He kinda looks like you, Kakashi-sensei but he’s more annoying.”

Sakura exhaled and looked at Sasuke. “You think being choked gave her a concussion?”

Kakashi hummed and looked at the body for a moment before walking towards her. He circled around his soulmate with impassive eyes, looking so much like his grandfather that Satoru looked away. “Satoru is here?”  The man asked like he truly believed Naruto. Sasuke and Sakura looked at the man like he had lost his mind while Naruto stared at him with wide eyes. The man scanned the forest. “And he looks a lot like me?  Tell me what brought your soulmate here?”

She kicked her feet together. “No idea. He said he went to bed, thought he was going to see me in his dream like he usually did, but he found himself here.” Satoru nodded and Kakashi remained silent. “And yeah, he looks a lot like you. He says that he looks like a younger version of you.”

Kakashi remained silent. Then turned to the corpse.

“Let’s deal with the corpse,” he said, voice flat. “And Naruto… next time, tell a better story.”

Satoru looked at him. It didn’t seem like he didn’t believe her because if he didn’t believe her, his voice would be different. His eyes were faded and distant and for a brief moment, he wondered if the man knew more to it. He licked his dried lips and glanced at Naruto, who seemed almost hurt by his dismissal. It was a wild shot, he knew, but it would work. Last week, his father finally told him the name of his aunt. It was a long shot but maybe it would work.

“Hey Naruto, ask him if he knows Kanako! That’s my father’s half-sister.”

Naruto blinked but nodded. “Kakashi-sensei, do you know a woman called Kanako?” Kakashi remained still while her teammates stared at her in confusion. His soulmate pressed on. “Apparently, she’s Satoru’s half-aunt.”

There was silence. Then, the man stood up.

“I do. She has been dead for a long time now.”