Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

brebtheforehead added rightonross, pweezy, dontcallmeatree, iamsuperior, joethebro, nofuckingway, doitthebetterway, 2bfrank, tyjo, and tacokidthedestroyer to the chat

brebtheforehead named the chat “the gayest thing ever”

pweezy: brendon what the fcuk

pweezy: *fuck

rightonross: way to go pete you screwed up your spelling on the first message in the chat

pweezy: fuck off ryan

dontcallmeatree: this is off to a great start

brebtheforehead: i gathered all my queer friends here today everyone name and pronouns go ill start

brebtheforehead: brendon, he/him

rightonross: ryan he/him

nofuckingway: gerard, they/them

doitthebetterway: mikey, he/him

nofuckingway: mikey your user is passive aggressively offending me

doitthebetterway: shut up

2bfrank: frank, he/him, and DO NOT MISGENDER ME. GOD.

tyjo: tyler, he/him, and same yes

pweezy: pete, he/him, and i think this is dumb

iamsuperior: andy, he/they bc im superior as you can tell and i do not give a fuck

joethebro: joe, he/him, and no one likes u andy

tacokidthedestroyer: josh, he/him

brebtheforehead: see now we r all acquainted

pweezy: i still hate u

2bfrank: wait gee they/them??? since when! i hAVE BEEN MISGENDERING YOU

nofuckingway: since like a week ago bc i finally managed to sneakily do gender research w/o my transphobe parents knowing its k

doitthebetterway: yeah they suck

dontcallmeatree: aw gee itll be ok

doitthebetterway: what about me

pweezy: no one likes someone who dumps their boyfriend of one year with the explanation “i realized im aro ace”

tacokidthedestroyer: ouch

joethebro: tOASTED

doitthebetterway: excuse me that was fucking 6th and 7th grade and in case you didnt know aro ace = 0 romance, k bro

iamsuperior: as greyaro i say PREACH

2bfrank: grey??? grey for WHO???

tyjo: oo gossip

tacokidthedestroyer: ty u r such a girl sometimes

tyjo: FUCK YOU JOSH

tacokidthedestroyed: go ahead ;)))

joethebro: gasp

2bfrank: im defending my fellow trans bro. that was not even funny. r00d

tyjo: thx frank

doitthebetterway: so were over andys grey or

brebtheforehead: OF COURSE NOT

brebtheforehead: ANDY PLS TELL

iamsuperior: god breb privacy

rightonross: im just watching all this and it’s hilarious

nofuckingway: i support my ace frands ace privacy but pls do tell

pweezy: wait if ur ace say “ay”

doitthebetterway: ay and aro

iamsuperior: ay and greyaro

tyjo: ay

nofuckingway: ay (did my user not give it away)

dontcallmeatree: ay

rightonross: ay tbh but maybe gray

brebtheforehead: WE ARE OUTNUMBERED. US ALLOSEXUALS MUST FIGHT FOR OUR LIVES.

dontcallmeatree: chill bren we just want cake

tyjo: true

iamsuperior: they make vegan cake right

joethebro: SHOULDNT U OF ALL PPL KNOW

pweezy: tru

tacokidthedestroyer: you guys we r only outnumbered by 1 person and ryan says he’s gray so we almost win

rightonross: damn my gray-aceness

brebtheforehead: VICTORY

tyjo: damn it ryan

dontcallmeatree: you betray us

rightonross: i literally cannot choose my sexuality u guys

nofuckingway: fair enough

doitthebetterway: our parents have an aro ace son and a nonbinary poly ace kid they would be so disappointed if they knew

nofuckingway: good thing they dont then

pweezy: wait were all single here right

doitthebetterway: dude im aro. duh.

brebtheforehead: o yeah we all r single

brebtheforehead: ill fix that

tacokidthedestroyer: what does that mean

brebtheforehead: ryan date me pls

joethebro: oH

pweezy: HOLY SHIT BREN

tyjo: that was sudden

2bfrank: what the hell

rightonross: brendon. i am sitting next to you.

brebtheforehead: is that a no then :(

rightonross: that’s an “ask out loud for god’s sake”

rightonross: thx bren. yes.

dontcallmeatree: i ship it

2bfrank: same

nofuckingway: ryden

nofuckingway: it has sailed

iamsuperior: g how long have you been planning this

doitthebetterway: theyve been planning it since ry and b met

nofuckingway: ay nice correct pronouns there

doitthebetterway: shut up i havent screwed it up since thursday

pweezy: mikey its friday

doitthebetterway: fuck off

pweezy: no thanks

2bfrank: hey you guys did you do the history essay

joethebro: fuck

rightonross: i started but then bren made this

pweezy: yeah its his fault

brebtheforehead: well u couldve left

iamsuperior: hes right

doitthebetterway: i think we should all go do it

brebtheforehead: guys chill im done

tacokidthedestroyer: o rly

rightonross: im skeptical

brebtheforehead: “its called the northwest passage and its real and it doesnt matter”

tyjo: hes not wrong

2bfrank: yeah but miss sorensen is gonna kill you

joethebro: but hes totally right

pweezy: it does exist but it doesnt matter bc its rly cold and can only be used during a certain period of time

nofuckingway: thats tru

rightonross: but miss sorensen will seriously kill u she hates us all already

brebtheforehead: yeah i know ill actually do it now

rightonross: good

2bfrank: we all should. bye guys

doitthebetterway: bye losers

dontcallmeatree: im done but if u guys are leaving i will too

pweezy: bye and dont brag bout your smartness patrick

rightonross: bye guys ill help b hes still at my house

nofuckingway: bye

tyjo: bye

tacokidthedestroyer: ttyl

joethebro: ill try i guess

iamsuperior: joe u can copy mine

joethebro: thnks andy ur my fav demiboy

iamsuperior: bro do you know any other demiboys

joethebro: no but ur my fav

iamsuperior: bye joe

joethebro: bye

brebtheforehead: ryan is a rly good kisser

rightonross: b they all left

rightonross: and pls stop

brebtheforehead: bye losers

Chapter Text

rightonross: brendon what the fuck is this

brebtheforehead: i see u found my peace offering

tyjo: wait what

nofuckingway: ooh drama in the ryden fandom

dontcallmeatree: since when is there a fandom

pweezy: theyve only been together a day

nofuckingway: since i said so

rightonross: b why

tacokidthedestroyer: what is it

2bfrank: whats going on

rightonross: [picture message]

tyjo: oH SHIT

doitthebetterway: rly bren

pweezy: “come to the allo side, we have better cake” same

rightonross: i mean the cake is actually p good

brebtheforehead: thnks i made it

rightonross: i didnt know u could bake

brebtheforehead: neither did i that was cake number six

tyjo: what happened to 1-5

dontcallmeatree: ty why did you ask

brebtheforehead: my house still smells like smoke and cherries

rightonross: its chocolate why were there cherries

brebtheforehead: um

pweezy: wHY DID YOU ASK

rightonross: wait how did it get into my room

brebtheforehead: ur mom

brebtheforehead: no rly

doitthebetterway: uh oh

tyjo: uh oh

2bfrank: oh shit

pweezy: oh no

rightonross: BRENDON DID YOU OUT ME TO MY MOM

dontcallmeatree: oh boy

brebtheforehead: chill she doesnt care

rightonross: BRENDON

nofuckingway: trouble in the ryden fandom

2bfrank: gee no

nofuckingway: gee yes

brebtheforehead: really she thinks its great

pweezy: b pls dont out me to my mom shes homophobic af

brebtheforehead: im not going to out everyone!!!

dontcallmeatree: u sure

rightonross: yeah bren u sure

brebtheforehead: rYAN PLS

rightonross: no

nofuckingway: trouble

2bfrank: gee pls

nofuckingway: in the

doitthebetterway: g dont

nofuckingway: ryden fandom

tyjo: he did

pweezy: wait where are joe and andy

tacokidthedestroyer: oh

tacokidthedestroyer: oH

dontcallmeatree: josh what

2bfrank: josh what do you know

tacokidthedestroyer: so u know how i tutor joe sometimes

doitthebetterway: yeah?

rightonross: where is this going

brebtheforehead: josh where are they

tacokidthedestroyer: so

nofuckingway: josh spill the beans

tacokidthedestroyer: joe texted me that he couldnt make tutoring bc he was “going out”

pweezy: oH

tyjo: OH MY GOD

tacokidthedestroyer: and now that i realize andy is MIA too

rightonross: O H

2bfrank: i knew it

doitthebetterway: no you didnt

nofuckingway: #jondy

dontcallmeatree: where does gee get these names

doitthebetterway: they have a list

doitthebetterway: would you like to hear a few

nofuckingway: MIKEY WHERE DID YOU GET MY SHIP LIST

doitthebetterway: would you like me to read the top one ;)))

nofuckingway: U CAN SHARE ANY BUT THE TOP ONE

nofuckingway: PLS MIKEY

pweezy: trouble in the way fandom

2bfrank: omg

tyjo: lol

tacokidthedestroyer: respect their privacy mikey

rightonross: ^^^

doitthebetterway: they said i could read any other though ;)

nofuckingway: damn

doitthebetterway: how about peterick ;)))

pweezy: GEE NO

dontcallmeatree: I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS

tacokidthedestroyer: i dunno i kinda ship it

tyjo: yeah same

2bfrank: #peterick forever

brebtheforehead: yeah it has sailed

pweezy: i hate u all

brebtheforehead has changed the chat name to “peterick is real”

dontcallmeatree: fuck you

dontcallmeatree has changed the chat name to “fuck brendon”

rightonross: ok u know what FINE

nofuckingway: omg

tyjo: omg

brebtheforehead: YES

2bfrank: OH MY GOD

rightonross: b are ur parents home

tacokidthedestroyer: its lit fam

brebtheforehead: not for three hours

rightonross: im coming

nofuckingway: OH

doitthebetterway: DAMN

brebtheforehead: ill be going then ;)

rightonross: same bye guys

tyjo: OH MY GOD

2bfrank: bye

pweezy: leave

rightonross: before i go

rightonross has changed the chat name to “peterick 5ever”

rightonross: peace

dontcallmeatree: why

pweezy: why would you do this

joethebro: ay guys what did i miss

2bfrank: JOE

nofuckingway: #jondy

tyjo: oooooo

joethebro: wtf is a jondy

nofuckingway: ;)))

iamsuperior: sup nerds

nofuckingway: ;))))))

iamsuperior: what

tacokidthedestroyer: JOE U MISSED TUTORING

joethebro: i went out i told u

tacokidthedestroyer: with ANDY

2bfrank: ooh

joethebro: HOW DID yOU KNOW

iamsuperior: idk what ur talking about

iamsuperior: joe. i said we werent telling these people.

tacokidthedestroyer: I KNEW IT

tyjo: i totally ship it

pweezy: joe was the grey

dontcallmeatree: joe was the grey

pweezy: what

dontcallmeatree: what

doitthebetterway: aw #peterick

pweezy: fuck off

joethebro: what did we miss

nofuckingway: #peterick

2bfrank: #peterick

doitthebetterway: #peterick

tyjo: #peterick

tacokidthedestroyer: basically mikey told us gee shipped it and now we all do

iamsuperior: i like it

pweezy: ANDY NO

dontcallmeatree: IM LEAVING

dontcallmeatree has left the chat

pweezy: oh yeah

pweezy has left the chat

nofuckingway: they cant do that

nofuckingway: can they

doitthebetterway: no they cant

doitthebetterway added pweezy and dontcallmeatree to the chat

doitthebetterway: NO ESCAPE

pweezy: damn it mikey

dontcallmeatree: why doesnt mikey tell us another name from the ship list

doitthebetterway: ooh

nofuckingway: MIKEY NO

doitthebetterway: MIKEY YES

tyjo: trouble in the way fandom

2bfrank: this again

iamsuperior: ur kidding me

tacokidthedestroyer: #wayfandom

nofuckingway: #fuckoff

pweezy: ooooooooooh

joethebro: #toasted

doitthebetterway: youve heard ryden jondy and peterick

doitthebetterway: now get ready for

2bfrank: who will it be

doitthebetterway: o frank

nofuckingway: DONT U DARE

doitthebetterway: u said i couldnt tell but

tyjo: what

pweezy: what is it

doitthebetterway: [picture message]

2bfrank: oh

2bfrank: thats what it is

nofuckingway: IM SORRY

tyjo: does that say joshler

doitthebetterway: not the point but yes

2bfrank: gee

nofuckingway: IM RLY SORRY OKAY

tacokidthedestroyer: jokes on you weve been dating for a month

pweezy: what

iamsuperior: wait what

joethebro: #outed

tyjo: josh why

tacokidthedestroyer changed their name to tyjosbro

tyjo: josh

tyjosbro: ay

tyjo: why

dontcallmeatree: so we arent talking about frerard

doitthebetterway: oh we ARE

nofuckingway has left the chat

tyjosbro: oh no

2bfrank: GEE WAIT

2bfrank has added nofuckingway to the chat

2bfrank: GEE

nofuckingway: im sorry okay

2bfrank: gee why are you sorry

tyjo: ooh

joethebro: oooooh

nofuckingway: about the shipping

2bfrank: gee im coming over

pweezy: OH

joethebro: OOOH

iamsuperior: i cant believe this

nofuckingway: shut up you guys im ace

2bfrank: gee im at ur door

nofuckingway: why

2bfrank: gee i am going to kiss you

doitthebetterway: gee get out of our room now or im answering the door for you

nofuckingway: IM COMING

tyjo: omg

tyjosbro: its gettin lit in the frerard fandom

tyjo: josh pls change ur name back

tyjosbro: whatever

tyjosbro changed their name to tacokidthedestroyer

tyjo: thanks

nofuckingway: SHIT FRANK

2bfrank: its lit fam

doitthebetterway: now are you happy im a terrible brother

nofuckingway: no

pweezy: #troubleinthewayfandom

dontcallmeatree: pete no

joethebro: since i missed tutoring i still havent done the essay

iamsuperior: joe i said id go out with you if you were sure you werent busy

iamsuperior: you were busy

joethebro: ilyt

Chapter Text

dontcallmeatree: is anyone on

pweezy: yes hello its me, your pal with insomnia

dontcallmeatree: oh hi pete

pweezy: whats up

dontcallmeatree: the opposite of down

pweezy: smartass

pweezy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

dontcallmeatree: pete no

pweezy: srsly whats up

dontcallmeatree: still annoyed at everyone

pweezy: about the shipping?

dontcallmeatree: yeah

pweezy: same. but its ok

dontcallmeatree: why is it ok

pweezy: patrick look out your window

dontcallmeatree: what

dontcallmeatree: PETE WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THERE

pweezy: let me in its freezing

dontcallmeatree: no

pweezy: this is supposed to be romantic

dontcallmeatree: wait what

pweezy: whoops

dontcallmeatree: pete

pweezy: well

dontcallmeatree: pete.

pweezy: im sorry about that ill go home

dontcallmeatree: pete i am opening the window

pweezy: oh

pweezy: you are

pweezy: im coming in

dontcallmeatree: pete we could talk aloud now

pweezy: or i could ask you out on here :)))

dontcallmeatree: you are literally in my room

pweezy: :))))

dontcallmeatree: fine i will go out with you

dontcallmeatree: but dont expect me to like it

rightonross changed the chat name to “bren and i have been on the whole time”

pweezy: fuck you

doitthebetterway changed the chat name to “me and gee and frank too”

dontcallmeatree: why

2bfrank: #peterick

pweezy: DAMN IT

nofuckingway: i knew it was lit

doitthebetterway: same

rightonross: its sailed again

doitthebetterway: wait im the only single one here now

nofuckingway: mikey ur aro of course youre single

doitthebetterway: im adding my aro friends

brebtheforehead: ooh new ppl

doitthebetterway added jonbelievable and arodynamic to the chat

jonbelievable: MIKEY ITS 2 AM WHAT IS THIS

arodynamic: fuck you mikey

doitthebetterway: but spence were both aro

doitthebetterway: ur user says u are too

arodynamic: shut up

doitthebetterway changed the chat name to “nice pun spence”

pweezy: who are these people

brebtheforehead: HEY ITS RY AND MY SCIENCE GROUP FRIENDS

rightonross: oh yeah

jonbelievable: oh god not brendon. please not brendon.

2bfrank: what

dontcallmeatree: trouble in the science fandom

pweezy: patrick stop

brebtheforehead: jon chill i only spilled chemicals on you once

jonbelievable: HYDROCHLORIC ACID BURNS SKIN VERY BADLY

arodynamic: how dare you hurt my queerplatonic life partner

jonbelievable: IM STILL SCARRED

rightonross: queerplatonic life partners? congrats you guys

jonbelievable: thank you nondangerous lab partner

arodynamic: excuse me im a demiboy “guys” is misgendering me

iamsuperior: I WAS SUMMONED?

2bfrank: where did andy come from

iamsuperior: i was summoned bc there is finally another demiboy

arodynamic: AY

pweezy: oh my

dontcallmeatree: oh no

doitthebetterway: do i need to edit gee’s ship list

nofuckingway: touch my ship list and i kill you

doitthebetterway: im touching it

iamsuperior: ok 1. i am in a relationship and you know it and 2. my fellow demiboy friend has a queerplatonic partner

rightonross: trouble in the demiboy fandom

pweezy: ryan why

jonbelievable: what have i been added to

arodynamic: ikr

brebtheforehead: the gayest thing ever

tacokidthedestroyer: GO TO BED YOU GUYS THE NOTIFICATIONS ARE KEEPING ME UP

2bfrank: is ty awake

tacokidthedestroyer: hes not with me??? im in my bed???

doitthebetterway: lies

tyjo: lies

doitthebetterway: OOH

jonbelievable: go to bed already

pweezy: FINE

dontcallmeatree: gn

rightonross: we can talk to the new ppl tomorrow

jonbelievable: excuse me ryan but im not talking to ur bf

brebtheforehead: IM RLY SORRY I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS ACID

jonbelievable: YOU STILL KNOCKED IT OVER ON ME

tacokidthedestroyer changed the chat name to “GO TO BED”

doitthebetterway: but it was just getting good

iamsuperior: gn losers im still happy i made a demiboy friend!!!

pweezy: no one cares andy

Chapter Text

arodynamic: BRENDON

brebtheforehead: SPENCER PLS IM SORRY

nofuckingway: woah whats happening

arodynamic: JON IS IN THE HOSPITAL

tyjo: WHAT

dontcallmeatree: WHAT

pweezy: IS HE OK

2bfrank: WHATS GOING ON

arodynamic: BRENDON SPILLED MORE CHEMICALS ON HIM

arodynamic: AND THEY WERE STRONGER CHEMICALS

rightonross: BREN WHY

brebtheforehead: IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

tacokidthedestroyer: a likely story

tacokidthedestroyer changed their name to gaydetective

gaydetective: i will get to the bottom of this

tyjo: josh no

gaydetective: josh yes

joethebro: WHATS GOING ON

iamsuperior: YEAH WHAT

brebtheforehead: where were you two

joethebro: I HEARD JON IS IN THE HOSPITAL B WHY

brebtheforehead: how did you know it was me

joethebro: brendon rly ur a klutz

gaydetective: i dont think it was an accident

rightonross: i saw it josh bren is just really clumsy

gaydetective: oh

gaydetective changed their name to tacokidthedestroyer

tacokidthedestroyer: gaydetective will return if his services are needed again

tyjo: i will break up with you

pweezy: oooooh

joethebro: oooooooooh

tacokidthedestroyer: no you wont sweaty ;))))

tyjo: yes i will

arodynamic: jon has a huge burn on his face hes lucky we have to wear goggles in science

doitthebetterway: woah whats going on

2bfrank: HOW DID YOU GET CHEMICALS ON HIS FACE

brebtheforehead: i am tall and clumsy, thats how

doitthebetterway: omg b leave jon alone this is bullying!!!!!111!!1!!1

rightonross: IM DEPORTING U

rightonross: *reporting

pweezy: deporting omfg

pweezy: ok donald trump

nofuckingway: why

rightonross: pete no

pweezy changed their name to okdonaldtrump

okdonaldtrump: sweaty ;)))

dontcallmeatree: pete i will break up with you

okdonaldtrump: oh damn

okdonaldtrump changed their name to tricksbae

tricksbae: better?

dontcallmeatree: if i say it isnt it will get worse so sure

tricksbae: good

doitthebetterway: coincidentally, i too am in the hospital

nofuckingway: MIKEY WHAT

joethebro: WHAT

tricksbae: WHAT

iamsuperior: MIKEY

arodynamic: NO MY ARO BRO

2bfrank: SINCE WHEN

dontcallmeatree: ARE YOU OKAY

brebtheforehead: WHAT HAPPENED

nofuckingway: MIKEY I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT THE STORE WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

doitthebetterway: so i was going to the store. then i thought “hey when i was little i wouldve loved to climb that big tree there”

nofuckingway: you are an idiot

tricksbae: HOW TALL WAS THE TREE

rightonross: ^^

brebtheforehead: ^

doitthebetterway: the doctor said i was the first patient shed ever had to survive a thirty foot fall onto concrete with only a broken leg

2bfrank: MIKEY

tricksbae: YOURE AN IDIOT

arodynamic: MIKEY WHY

nofuckingway: MIKEY WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL MOM AND DAD

doitthebetterway: idk

iamsuperior: mikey rly

nofuckingway: obvs im the better sibling

tricksbae: true

2bfrank: you bet you are babe <3

arodynamic: eW THATS GAY

2bfrank: gee isnt a guy

arodynamic: GAY

brebtheforehead: DO U WANT ALL OUR KIDS TO GROW UP TO BE GAY???

2bfrank: b come on u literally have a bf

tricksbae: WE ARE ALL CHILDREN OF THE LORD WE CANNOT BE GAYYYY

dontcallmeatree: pete. it is i. ur bf.

arodynamic: GO TO JESUS U SINNERS

nofuckingway: *geesus

2bfrank: same

doitthebetterway: TURN TO GOD!!!! GAY PEOPLE ARE SINNERS!!!!!!

iamsuperior: obviously joe and i are too cool to join in on this

iamsuperior: right joe

joethebro: YOU ARE ALL SINNERS!!! THE LORD SAYS IT IS BAD TO BE GAY!!!

iamsuperior: joe. you are gay

joethebro: im pony excuse me

iamsuperior: pony?

joethebro: poly omg

iamsuperior: nice typing. not bad.

iamsuperior: like you ;)

joethebro changed their name to notbadjoe

2bfrank: wow

arodynamic: ok so back to jon, he is fine now. the doctor says it will heal quickly. its all good. we are leaving now

doitthebetterway: well i need to go into surgery, which is gr9

nofuckingway: u know what idec

doitthebetterway: someone pls punch gee for me. ttyl

arodynamic: ill punch them aro bro

nofuckingway: hey!

2bfrank: YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING

iamsuperior: wow

dontcallmeatree: i feel bad abt my name now that mikey has fallen from a tree

tricksbae: o rly

rightonross: do you now

dontcallmeatree changed their name to trickshot

trickshot: ay

brebtheforehead: rip ur user

tricksbae: rip

notbadjoe: rip

iamsuperior: rip

2bfrank: rip

rightonross: rip

trickshot: omg shut up

nofuckingway: RIP

nofuckingway: k guys (no gals) and nonbinary pals (literally just me, i cri) im going to the hospital to pick up mikey once he gets out of surgery ttyl

arodynamic: i need to go too, ttyl

2bfrank: bye gee ily

nofuckingway: ily2

tricksbae: GAY

rightonross: pete ur the gayest person i know

tricksbae: READ THE BIBLE

tricksbae has changed the chat name to “praise god”

trickshot: pete why

2bfrank: gee isnt a guy,,,,, we arent gay,,,,,,

brebtheforehead: what are the comas for

2bfrank: idk

notbadjoe: u know i still havent done that essay

iamsuperior: GOD DAMNIT JOE ITS DUE TOMORROW

notbadjoe: but youll help me do it right???

iamsuperior: fine

notbadjoe: best datemate ever ily

iamsuperior: ...thanks for not misgendering me though

notbadjoe: np bro

iamsuperior: jOE

2bfrank: JOE

rightonross: JOE

trickshot: JOE

notbadjoe: oh

notbadjoe: does anyone know where ty and josh went

Chapter Text

2bfrank: hey guys

nofuckingway: frank is everything alright?? are you ok???

tyjo: whats up

rightonross: dude what is it

iamsuperior: hey whats going on

2bfrank: gee how do you know something's wrong

nofuckingway: true love telepathy. its a thing.

iamsuperior: yeah sure its real. and joe is at a coffee shop right now.

notbadjoe: HOW DID YOU

iamsuperior: i stand corrected. its real. carry on.

2bfrank: you know how my aunt was visiting

doitthebetterway: S A L L Y

rightonross: and now mikey is here

doitthebetterway: SALLY IS MY ENEMY

2bfrank: aunt sally isnt that bad cmon

doitthebetterway: SHE THINKS IM THE DEVIL INCARNATE JUST BC I DONT LIKE DATING PPL

tyjo: aunt sally IS that bad ouch

nofuckingway: let frank speak you guys

2bfrank: well she totally deadnamed me at dinner last night. like full on. "pls pass the potatoes fiona"

nofuckingway: I WILL KILL HER

nofuckingway: I WILL PULL OUT HER ORGANS AND MAKE HER FEEL PAIN

notbadjoe: CHILL

iamsuperior: CHILL

rightonross: true love telepathy IS real

2bfrank: yeah gee calm down my parents called her out on it

nofuckingway: but did she apologize

2bfrank: well no

tyjo: oh no

rightonross: oh no

iamsuperior: oh no

doitthebetterway: oh SHIT theyre typing really fast you guys

nofuckingway: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??? YOU THINK THATS OKAY??? SHE GOES AND DEADNAMES MY. AMAZING. HANDSOME. FRANK. AND THEN DOESNT APOLOGIZE???? FRANK IS SHE STILL THERE BC ID LIKE TO HAVE A WORD WITH HER. RIGHT THIS INSTANT. NOW.

doitthebetterway: gee is now lying on the floor and breathing heavily. are they ok. help.

2bfrank: gee

nofuckingway: im fine

tyjo: gee. ur not fine. calm.

rightonross: yeah chill

2bfrank: gee she is still here but you dont need to defend me

doitthebetterway: um frank

2bfrank: what mikey

doitthebetterway: hate to tell you this but they already ran out the door heading for your house

2bfrank: oh no

rightonross: oh no

iamsuperior: what do we do

tyjo: WATCH THE DRAMA UNFOLD

iamsuperior: ty thats rude

tyjo: WATCH IT UNFOLD

2bfrank: fuck i see them coming

nofuckingway: you bet you do. i will save you.

2bfrank: gee no

nofuckingway: gee YES

notbadjoe: no rly dont

rightonross: gee we all know aunt sally. she is the most homophobic and transphobic person on the planet.

nofuckingway: IM IN!

tyjo: DRAMA

notbadjoe: ty. why

rightonross: is frank ok

2bfrank: im fine im watching from the corner

iamsuperior: good. dont get involved.

2bfrank: she just totally misgendered gee fuck theyre going to get mad at her

tyjo: WHAT DID SHE SAY

rightonross: ^^^

2bfrank: "young man what do you think youre doing? busting in here and trying to defend my niece or something? shes delusional, thinks shes a guy, thats all."

rightonross: SHIT FRANK IM SORRY

iamsuperior: THATS TERRIBLE

notbadjoe: AW FRANK

tyjo: D R A M A

2bfrank: shes on the classic "boy or girl choose one" rant fuck gee hates her even more now

tyjo: oh im legitimately sorry that sucks

rightonross: ^^^

iamsuperior: ^^^

notbadjoe: ^^^

2bfrank: fuck

2bfrank: this isnt good

rightonross: WHAT

tricksbae: WOAH HOLD UP I JUST GOT HERE WHATS GOING ON

notbadjoe: sup pete

iamsuperior: ITS AUNT SALLY

tricksbae: OH FUCK AUNT SALLY I HATE THAT BITCH

rightonross: we all do tbh

notbadjoe: ye

nofuckingway: MIKEY IM COMING HOME

doitthebetterway: gee what did you do

nofuckingway: GOTTA GO FAST

doitthebetterway: gee now is not the time for memes

tricksbae: fuck this cant be good what happened fill me in

iamsuperior: well

iamsuperior: frank said aunt sally deadnamed him then didnt apologize and gee got pissed and ran over there to yell at her

tricksbae: oh no

tyjo: no one knows whats happening now though

rightonross: yeah were all confused

trickshot: um guys??? whats going on???

tricksbae: PATRICK ITS AUNT SALLY

trickshot: oh.

trickshot: "bisexual isnt real you cant like both" aunt sally? i hate her.

tyjo: we all do she keeps misgendering me

rightonross: yeah shes miss "theres only 2 genders so u cant b pan" as well

doitthebetterway: she doesnt believe in asexuality either

iamsuperior: MIKEY IS GEE OK

nofuckingway: im fine but i wont be

tyjo: mikey whats wrong

doitthebetterway: dont ask me. they havent told me yet.

nofuckingway: sally says she going to call my parents about my "gender issues"

tyjo: NO

rightonross: UR PARENTS SUCK

tricksbae: SHE CANT

trickshot: YOUR PARENTS WOULD KILL YOU

iamsuperior: GEE NO

doitthebetterway: NO NO NO IF SHE TELLS THEM ABOUT GEE THEYLL WANT TO MAKE SURE IM A NORMAL CHILD AND THEN THEYLL REALIZE IVE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND (or boyfriend for that matter) FUCK

tricksbae: well you HAD a boyfriend

tyjo: pete not the time to be salty

trickshot: DONT U LOVE ME

tricksbae: yes i love u patrick ill stop being salty abt mikey

doitthebetterway: thanks pete

rightonross: this is not good.

nofuckingway: have you met my parents. theyll send me to jesus camp or some shit.

rightonross: aw gee

doitthebetterway: believe it or not ive met ur parents. im ur brother.

nofuckingway: wasnt talking to you

tricksbae: omfg

2bfrank: ok guys im back

nofuckingway: FRANK

trickshot: FRANK YAY

tyjo: is aunt sally still angry

rightonross: yeah whats she doing

notbadjoe: has she calmed

2bfrank: idk but i dont think shell really call gee and mikeys parents shes p much forgotten

rightonross: YAY

nofuckingway: thank tHE LORD WHO I DO NOT BELIEVE IN

doitthebetterway: same bro

nofuckingway: mikey :)))) why do you misgender me :))))) my own brother :)))) i am betrayed :)))))

doitthebetterway: *same o genderless one

nofuckingway: why mikey

tyjo: AMAZING

trickshot: same

iamsuperior: can i be o genderless one

notbadjoe: no u kinda have a gender

iamsuperior: cant argue w that

rightonross: ok so aunt sally is chill now right

2bfrank: yeah but she still keeps arguing w my parents abt me

2bfrank: gee is probably safe though

nofuckingway: thx

tricksbae: good

trickshot: yay gee

rightonross: yay!

tyjo: gr8

doitthebetterway: meh

nofuckingway: mikey im disowning u. u r no longer my brother.

doitthebetterway: thats not how it works

nofuckingway: fuck off

trickshot: actually i think u may be able to put yourself up for adoption

nofuckingway: ooh yes

doitthebetterway: PLS DONT LEAVE ME

nofuckingway: thats what i thought

Chapter Text

doitthebetterway: sup losers i have an announcement

brebtheforehead: ooh what

tacokidthedestroyer: mikey what

tricksbae: what

arodynamic: ???

jonbelievable: wtf mikey

tyjo: whats happening

doitthebetterway: as u all know, im the only one in the chat w/o even a queerplatonic partner

tricksbae: so now youre being salty

tacokidthedestroyer: TOASTED

arodynamic: GET REKT

doitthebetterway: no

doitthebetterway: im announcing that i now have a queerplatonic partner

brebtheforehead: do you

jonbelievable: idk man

tricksbae: i dont believe u

doitthebetterway: his name is mister smiley face and he is a yellow balloon. dont judge him.

tricksbae: knew it

arodynamic: my aro bro,,, u have gone insane,,,,

tyjo: wtf mikey

brebtheforehead: im kicking mikey

doitthebetterway: NO WAIT

doitthebetterway: ill add him to the chat

doitthebetterway added mistersmileyface to the chat

mistersmileyface: sup

brebtheforehead: ITS LIT

tricksbae: what

tyjo: i dont trust this

jonbelievable: yeah "mister smiley face". send a selfie.

mistersmileyface: sure

mistersmileyface: [picture message]

tricksbae: its literally a yellow balloon

doitthebetterway: i told you

arodynamic: mikey has gone off the deep end

jonbelievable: which deep end is this again??? the tenth???

tricksbae: #rekt

brebtheforehead: alright who is mister smiley face really

mistersmileyface: what do u mean im mikeys queerplatonic partner

brebtheforehead: dude we know you arent really a balloon

mistersmileyface: IM OFFENDED

tacokidthedestroyer: rly who are you

doitthebetterway: he is mister smiley face u guys

mistersmileyface: yeah

brebtheforehead: im summoning my bf

tricksbae: you cant just do that

rightonross: sup losers

tricksbae: i stand corrected

rightonross: nah i was watching the whole time

mistersmileyface: RYAN

rightonross: who are you

mistersmileyface: MISTER SMILEY FACE

rightonross: omg

brebtheforehead: o amazing bf do you know who it is

doitthebetterway: sh no dont

rightonross: ITS MISTER SMILEY FACE GUYS

tyjo: why

tacokidthedestroyer: ty and i are leaving this is dumb

tyjo: yeah we are

doitthebetterway: thanks

rightonross: ...AS HE WAS CALLED IN THE 8TH GRADE PARTY AT BRENS HOUSE. REMEMBER THAT BREN???

brebtheforehead: RAY

mistersmileyface: AYYYY

tricksbae: where did the name come from what

arodynamic: ray from biology??? the one who did the huge paper on symbiotic relationships but then failed bc the homophobic teacher hated ur sexuality analogies???

mistersmileyface: why is that my legacy

mistersmileyface: that and mister smiley face

brebtheforehead: I REMEMBER THAT

tricksbae: no rly whered the name come from

mistersmileyface: i got drunk at the eighth grade party and named a yellow balloon mister smiley face. i talked to him all night.

tricksbae: oh i totally remember that! u made out w a balloon

doitthebetterway: legen *wait for it* dary

mistersmileyface: thats it

mistersmileyface: idk if you can break up w queerplatonic partners but i am

doitthebetterway: RAY PLS

jonbelievable: #GETREKT

rightonross: SHREKT

tricksbae: BURNNNN

mistersmileyface: im sorry im not doing that

tricksbae: mikey was srs he got a queerplatonic partner oh

doitthebetterway: i wasnt kidding, no

nofuckingway: MIKEY GOT A WHAT

rightonross: overprotective sibling at 12 o clock

tricksbae: gee chill

nofuckingway: WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME

doitthebetterway: gee pls

nofuckingway: NO

brebtheforehead: mister smiley face

brebtheforehead: ruining familes since 8th grade

mistersmileyface: like a #boss

rightonross: same bro. same.

nofuckingway: who is it

mistersmileyface: ITS MISTER SMILEY FACE

nofuckingway: ray??? that was like. three years ago.

mistersmileyface: my legacy lives on

brebtheforehead: DOES EVERYONE KNOW BUT ME

tricksbae: yes

rightonross: indeed

arodynamic: no i wasnt at the party

jonbelievable: same #2aro4this

doitthebetterway: we aro ppl can actually go to parties, believe it or not

trickshot: woah my phone is blowing up whats going on

trickshot: and why is ray here

mistersmileyface: SEE PATRICK WASNT EVEN AT THE PARTY AND HE KNOWS ITS ME

trickshot: everyone knows

brebtheforehead: FUCK OFF

doitthebetterway: ray is here bc he is my queerplatonic partner now

trickshot: congrats

trickshot: but pete will be salty now

tricksbae: no i wont

rightonross: o rly

tricksbae: but y would you leave me if we could just downgrade our relationship

jonbelievable: pete is being salty??? this is a surprise!!!

trickshot: PETE DONT U LOVE ME

tricksbae: yes but

trickshot: fuck u

brebtheforehead: patrick arent u ace

trickshot: WHY DID YOU TAKE THAT LITERALLY

brebtheforehead: idk man

jonbelievable: wait isnt ray the guy w the hair

mistersmileyface: yep thats me

mistersmileyface: the guy with the hair

doitthebetterway: omg

mistersmileyface changed their name to theguywiththehair

theguywiththehair: thanks jon

theguywiththehair: im finally myself

jonbelievable: this is all my fault im sorry u guys

nofuckingway: and me???

jonbelievable: u 2

nofuckingway: thanks

trickshot: why is this my life

tricksbae: idk but ur stuck w me babe <3333

trickshot: WHY

brebtheforehead: HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABT MR SMILEY FACE

arodynamic: bc u suck

rightonross: u bet he does

brebtheforehead: RYAN

theguywiththehair: omg