Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“The Real World,” Beta says sharply. 

“The…real world?”

A chill permeates the temperature-controlled air of the Base that brings Aloy to rub her hands along the pimpling flesh of her arms. Aloy is accustomed to sitting alone in the common area, a state which feels more comfortable, at the very least. Alone. It’s her natural state, after all.

“And I quote: ‘the existing state of things, as opposed to a state that is imaginary, simulated, or theoretical.’” Beta defines the phrase as if she is dictating to a crowd. As if she is Elisabet Sobeck dictating to a group of intellectuals who are about to hear the most shocking news of their lives. “Tell me, Aloy.  Is my understanding of the world today imaginary, simulated, or theoretical?”

“Theoretical,” she answers far too quickly.

“Good. You understand my point, then.” Beta stands firmly, hearing exactly what she expected to hear, Aloy supposes. “I need to get out into the Real World. Shouldn’t I test my theories?”

“Beta.” Aloy has spent a long time entertaining Beta’s flippant attitude, her needlessly impersonal and scientific manner. Her patience for it has long been worn out. “You’ve been with us for more than three years- and you’ve left this Base.”

A frustrated frown dims Beta’s features. It’s a common expression on her, one that Aloy noticed even on their first meeting. A look of all-encompassing pessimism.

“If you don’t want to take me out into the wilds with you, it would be easier to just say that.” 

Would any warrior want someone with them who would only complain and slow them down?

When the Zeniths were defeated three years ago, Aloy, perhaps naively, assumed she and Beta would put this kind of animosity behind them. They had been close, if you could call it that, in those weeks following; until Nemesis showed itself here on Earth. The ensuing stress and struggle wrenched them apart rather than tying them together.

The next year Aloy hardly rested; a lesson she thought she had already learned, not to keep herself running indefinitely without respite. Nemesis defeated after months and months of toil, Aloy collapsed into herself for a time. She needed to be…not needed. Not by friends, not by tribes, and not by an ill-adjusted sister.

It was selfish, yes, and she loved that. When did Aloy ever get a chance to be selfish? Anointed, Savior, Champion, Flame-hair, Desert Flame…the onslaught of titles and responsibilities she never asked for is endless. Her selfishness is not a phase but a trait now, a not-so-quickly-healing sear on her heart after all that she’s suffered through. If she’s meant to continue on alone, she might as well continue in exactly the way she wants.

“Then I’ll say it plainly.” The words leave Aloy’s selfish mouth with a bitter taste that feels wrong; it feels like ingesting something acidic that burns through to your heart. “I don’t want to take you.”

***

A Sobeck doesn’t give up so easily. 

It’s simple to notice the signs of depression and self-loathing when you have endless time and focus to study them, and you have the best anecdotal data at hand; your own personal experiences.

Beta sees Aloy have little compassion for herself, every month, every day. Aloy, much like Elisabet, sees herself as a conduit for protection for others. Who then, protects Aloy? When she has a problem, can she only count on herself to solve it?

Beta’s slightly older and more experienced sister doesn’t take care of herself. She exists on little sleep, and an unvaried and meager diet. Then the behavior: easy to anger, isolating herself socially, and lately, apathy.

With no direction, it’s clear that Aloy feels she has no place in this world.

Beta can’t expect anyone else to take her out into the wilds, and her minimal training chains her to the Base without an escort to lead her. She is utterly, unfixably, irrevocably…alone. Therefore, Aloy must be convinced. 

The delicate strings of manipulation are unable to be pulled by a person like Beta, who after three years still couldn’t hope to make normal conversation, even if she studied it. But a mission, one protective and all-encompassing and by Beta’s surmising, necessary- that, Aloy won’t deny.

“Kotallo.”

Beta pings his focus- she rarely calls any of their squad, but her determination overrules her apprehension.

“Aloy?” The Tenakth’s voice is deep, and strange sounding. Is he hopeful?

“No. Beta.”

“I see.” 

Yes, hopeful, then. His voice returns to its normal timbre.

“I need your help,” Beta says without pause.

“Yes, what for?”

What for, indeed. If this idea is coming from him, and not Beta, it is more likely to be received amicably.

“Aloy should be sharing focuses and the knowledge from APOLLO with the tribes. Do you agree?” asks Beta matter-of-factly.

“Hm. I admit, I am surprised this hasn’t already been accomplished.”

Beta isn’t. Such a task would require Aloy to stop isolating herself and be a little less apathetic.

“Convince her.” Beta ends the call.

***

Her focus pings, and Aloy answers to hear a once-familiar voice.

“Aloy.” 

She has no control over the way that low hum of a voice curls itself down her spine. “Hey, Kotallo. Everything is okay at the Grove?”

“Yes. I’ve called you about something else.”

In the ghost of a dream, maybe, Aloy once let her thoughts run away from her, imagining a version of herself that got closer to someone, maybe even this someone, this humble, unbelievably steady Tenakth man who forced his way into her life.

A ridiculous dream. After the fight against Nemesis began, and even after it ended, Aloy never saw peace. Being close to someone is the luxury of those who don’t bear the burdens she does.

Kotallo tells her that she should share focuses with the tribes and clans, grow the network and share their newfound knowledge. The exhaustion threatens to take her completely before he gets to finish his speech.

“I am surprised, that doing this wasn’t your idea,” Kotallo says. 

“I can bring you focuses. Feel free to share them yourself.”

“Aloy, if I may…” Kotallo pauses. “The information may fall easier on Tenakth ears if it came from their Champion.”

She sours. “My old title. I don’t answer to that anymore.”

“Perhaps not, but we have not forgotten. I have not.”

Kotallo, the man who lost an arm to a Bristleback and came out only stronger. Her competitive side is flaring its head.

“I’ll think about it.”

***

A plan begins to form. The Memorial Grove- first stop. If Aloy recoils from putting her newfound mission into practice, Kotallo will be there to continue in her stead. Or someone else…

Is it coincidence that Kotallo called her merely days after Beta insisted to be taken away from Base? Coincidence- or fate? Though Aloy doesn’t really believe in fate any longer. Calculated and premeditated moves- those are the things that have ruled her life.

Her back against the cool and always somehow damp-feeling Base walls, Aloy breathes deeply, preparing for her own calculated move.

Knock. Knock. Her knuckles rap against the metal door to the room Beta has claimed for her own; over a year has passed since Aloy’s seen behind these doors.

It doesn’t open immediately; not a surprise. Only Aloy’s stubborn nature keeps her waiting by the door, not whisking herself away, as if she was merely a holo. 

“Yes?” Beta calls out as the doors are opening, her stern eyes dissatisfied with the interruption.

“The Real World is waiting for you.” 

Beta assesses her. “Is it?”

“If you’re ready to embrace it. We leave tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

Rustling leaves. Warm wind on sheer sweat. A loud chorus of insects’ wails. 

The Memorial Grove is nothing like the cool metal Base. Beta hasn’t been this far West since her rescue from the Zeniths, years ago. Back then, she felt so hopeful about what was to come in her life. Maybe something would have come; a place in a tribe, friends, maybe even love. Before any of those childish daydreams could come to fruition, Nemesis made itself known here on earth, and she was thrust into her role as part of their squad- just a tool to be used, though the scenery was different. 

Working day and night with Gaia; sure, Beta was talking, and Gaia may be highly sophisticated, but human she is not. By now Beta has seen and read enough of Aloy’s found datapoints about Elisabet Sobeck to know that she is becoming more like her precursor than she could have ever expected; and not necessarily in a good way.

Both sisters take after their mother in this way. A sense of duty and the wellbeing of others take precedent and they both suffer for it, becoming isolated and somewhat bitter. The Real World should end this feeling of the inevitable for herself, at least- if Beta’s plans unfold as expected.

The journey to the Grove dragged out, most likely longer than Aloy would have liked. Beta didn’t spare much energy for her sister. Her time not in travel was spent scanning machines and animals and observing them, crouched behind meager cover out of instinct.

Since Nemesis’ destruction two years ago and the recapture of HEPHAESTUS, most machines have become more docile once again. There isn’t a strong logical argument for Beta to hide from them, but the fear that took root in her after that day in Gemini- the day that changed so much- isn’t so easy to drown.

Her much more physically capable sister had her whole life to study machines and how to fight them; they may be more docile now, but in this world, shouldn’t Beta know how to defend herself?

Before Nemesis appeared and the ensuing stress cracked a fault into she and Aloy’s relationship that seemingly couldn’t be repaired, Beta had actually begun some combat training. Aloy, Kotallo, and Erend all stepped up back then and taught her various things; hand-to-hand combat, strength training, and archery. After more than two years, she most likely has lost what she gained, but if she wants to fit in as part of this Real World, Beta knows these are skills she needs to rebuild and grow.

Even Aloy didn’t start fighting right away; Beta’s curiosity had her watching focus recordings of Aloy’s childhood, where Rost would mentor her and teach her how to hunt and attack. A young Aloy would do this same thing; scanning machines with her focus before she was allowed to fight them, learning everything she could about what she saw.

Though mentorless, as Aloy put up with her presence but mostly ignored her, Beta acclimated herself to the inconveniences of traveling in the wilds; hunting and cooking, feeling hot and wet during the day, then cold and thin-skinned at night as she felt her bones poke into the rough ground during her light sleep. The monotony of days of Charger rides gave a person far too much time to think to themselves. Beta spent them agonizing over how she would interact with the Real People she would be meeting very soon, and thought more on the strained relationship between her sister and herself.

Either Kotallo was particularly convincing, or Aloy has a kernel of sympathy for her more pathetic sister buried deep inside herself somewhere, a place she refuses to acknowledge. Could the Real World have something to offer Aloy as well?

Up ahead now, painted figures distinguish themselves from the overgrown exterior of the Grove, a place Beta has seen only in images. She takes in a warm breath of air and braces herself.

***

“So- the Real World. How are your theories turning out for you?” asks Aloy. 

“Part of my theories include interactions with real people. We’ll see how things go when I talk to them,” says Beta shortly.

Rather than inundate her sister with overwhelming Tenakth curiosity, upon arriving the the Grove Aloy called Kotallo’s focus, asking him to take them to temporary quarters for their stay. Had she been alone, Aloy would have been content to share the Marshal’s barracks or set herself up somewhere outside of the Grove entirely- but she couldn’t imagine Beta sleeping in a hammock surrounded by strangers nor sleeping tucked into a thick tree branch.

Kotallo was pleased to show them to something he called the “Champion’s quarters” with a bit of humor to his voice. Aloy has always admired Kotallo’s ability to adapt to any situation with calmness and geniality. Why can’t she do the same? The world is saved, yet Aloy feels no peace.

“Tomorrow, you’ll get your wish, then,” says Aloy. In her pack, she roots out a faded drawstring bag and tosses it into Beta’s lap. “I’m no Champion anymore. You and Kotallo can lead the distribution.”

As Beta opens the bag, Aloy can hear the tinkling metal of the shifting focuses inside. Beta’s eyes widen briefly, then some sort of resolve seems to take over her. “I won’t do this well, but I will do it.”

A few days, maybe even a week, stuck in this room at night with her negative sister. They’ve only been inside their shared quarters for a half-hour, maybe, but Aloy already feels herself suffocating.

“I’m going to find Kotallo. I should talk to him in person about the plan.” Aloy stands before Beta can hope to respond. “I’ll be back. Don’t wait up.”

Her excuse originated as a selfish lie, but Aloy’s feet take her on a path to the throne room before she realizes what exactly she’s doing.

“Kotallo…you’re still at your post,” says Aloy, her eyes batting up from their position staring directly towards the floor when her gaze lands on his sandaled feet.

“Most don’t want to train this late,” he answers. “I find my time is best spent being ready for use.”

Being used by others as some kind of tool is something Aloy has despised about her life so far. Is Kotallo trying to say he is ruled by that?

“I don’t understand you,” she utters. “You’re so selfless. I don’t get it.” I don’t even have the heart left in me to be kind to my own sister.

“Aloy…you? Not selfless? You who led us to save the whole world no matter the cost to yourself?”

His dark eyes hold so much meaning; admiration laced with confusion, and a heaviness that suggests he cares about her far more than he should. 

“I did those things because I had to,” says Aloy with more bite than she intends. “I’m no one’s ‘Savior,’ or ‘Champion.’ Just a tool to be used. And now, I’m nothing.”

“Aloy-“ Kotallo’s hand reaches for her shoulder; she flinches, but he doesn’t. Kotallo keeps his rough hand gentle, but firm, against the bare skin peeking through her armor. How can she focus on her bitterness when a long-forgotten heat spreads from his touch? “Years ago, you helped me find myself again. You are much more than a tool to me.”

“Right,” she huffs, a sarcastic sound. “I’m a Commander.”

“Yes, you are. And I gave whatever was left of my life to you.” Kotallo drops his hand now, and Aloy pitches forward at the loss. “I did not expect that life to last this long. Nor for your light to warm it in the way it has.”

There’s no light here. Only darkness. In a clipped way that Aloy is sure to regret later, she addresses him with finality. “I’ll see you tomorrow when we distribute these focuses.”

***

Beta observes Kotallo closely. Hopeful-sounding focus calls, lingering eyes. Kotallo thinks too much of Aloy. It’s amazing the things you begin to notice when you choose to keep your mouth shut.

When Aloy requests that he and Beta be the ones to introduce the new focuses to his tribesmen and women, Beta can sense the subtle disappointment in Kotallo; a bowing of his head, a small but noticeable step backwards. 

“Round up the other Marshals, bring them in to the Chief and Chaplain Dekka,” Aloy says to him, and now Beta can see his shoulders straighten and chin raise with satisfaction at Aloy’s orders. To Beta: “The Marshals will meet quickly. Sometimes, people believing you’re their ‘Champion’ gives you an advantage. They won’t make me wait.”

It would be best not to respond. In her observations of Aloy, Beta has realized her sister is a person who isn’t used to being told “no.” True, you can’t expect a person who spent and spends most of their life isolated, first by force and now by choice, to understand how self-involved they must seem to others.

Aloy is leading her now through a hall with functional holos; remnants of an old museum. Beta didn’t get a chance to look at anything last night, chasing after Aloy as she galloped towards their Champion’s quarters, even passing Kotallo- who was meant to be showing them where to go. 

Inside a vast room that can only be the throne room, a throng of spiked and painted Tenakth waits for them, but there’s so much to observe in the room that her attention isn’t pulled by them first. The room is tall and wide, the ceiling open to the air. Roots and plant life have taken over the remaining parts of the ancient building. The Tenakth like their paint in other places than just their bodies, apparently. On almost every surface geometric patterns have reclaimed the remnants of the Old Ones. An airplane nosedives towards the throne, poised in midair.

Did they drag that thing here- or did they find it that way?

“Go ahead.” Aloy almost sounds as if she’s sneering. 

Beta’s hand tightens on the bag holding the extra focuses. With no preamble, it seems, she will be presenting these relics to some of the most physically intimidating people she’s ever laid eyes on.

She clears her throat as she approaches them. That is a thing people do before giving a speech, isn’t it? Kotallo’s kind eyes looking back at her from the Chief’s side give her some comfort; more than Aloy did.

Beta tries to channel Elisabet.

“My name is Beta. Our squad wants to distribute focuses to the tribes; you can learn the knowledge of the Old Ones that we’ve discovered and use them as tools, especially for communication and resources. We’ll start with you, important members of the Tenakth tribe.”

As Beta sucks in a much-needed breath, one of the Tenakth speaks.

“Focuses?” The older gray-haired woman glances around at her fellows, looking amused. Curious. Based on my research, not many Tenakth live this long. “What are focuses?”

“This,” Beta bristles. She takes off her own focus from her temple. Have they never asked Kotallo about the silvery metal placed at his temple? “Technology created by the Old Ones, utilizing holos and nerve connections to synchronize research and thought, giving each person a wealth of knowledge.”

Beta expects the tribal people to be in awe, maybe even inspired by what she’s telling them. They look bored.

“Okay, then…we’ll start by putting them on, I guess.” With a confidence she doesn’t feel but is trying to project, Beta closes the gap between herself and the Tenakth, passing a focus into each of their open hands. She demonstrates on herself, putting her own back to her temple, feeling it snap to her.

“This won’t hurt, will it?” One of the marshals looks first at Kotallo, then Aloy.

“No, Ivirra,” chimes in Aloy. “You’ll hardly feel it at all.”

Beta knows better than to roll her eyes, but how could this marshal think they would ask them to put on a focus without telling them it would be a painful experience? Beta has no patience for it.

One by one the Tenakth somewhat reluctantly attach their focuses, their reactions as holos light up the room further varying from confusion to amazement. 

“You can tap it to turn its extra features on and off.” Beta observes as they all try it once or twice. “Basic functions, um…” It’s dawning on her that knowing practically everything about focus technology doesn’t mean she actually knows how to teach anyone how to use it.

“Calling, perhaps,” offers Kotallo. “So that we can communicate with each other.”

Thank you. “Yes, of course. So, open the interface and tap on the phone icon, find the person’s name you’re trying to call, and tap. It’s quite simple.”

“Uh…” The one called Ivirra speaks again. “Try that again, from the beginning…”

Beta can feel her brows pinching in frustration. At least her annoyance doesn’t make itself known in the form of agitated pacing, like Aloy’s does. Was anything I just said really that difficult to follow? 

“Open the interface,” Beta tries.

“It would help to know what an interface is,” says the gray-haired woman. “And how to open it.”

“What an…” Beta huffs, annoyed, now. “If I have to explain every simple thing to you, I don’t see how we’ll get any further than just calling today.”

As some of the Tenakth’s expressions turn into disapproving frowns, Beta feels a tug on her arm and she gets pulled away. 

“A moment,” Aloy addresses the Tenakth.

In a small hallway, not private but at least more than the throne room was, Aloy paces. 

“Do you realize you’re going to get yourself killed talking to somebody that way?” Aloy mutters. “This isn’t working.”

“Obviously not. I didn’t know they would have absolutely no knowledge to build on.”

Aloy rolls her eyes and brings a fist to her mouth as Beta looks on. “Beta, do you trust me?”

The question gives Beta pause. In the past few years, Aloy hasn’t particularly given her a reason to trust her. Not once have they confided in each other, or spent time with each other that wasn’t strictly mission-related. But people in the Real World have family; they have those closest to them that they can trust and count on. 

If Beta can’t trust her own sister- who else is left?

“I’ll- I’ll trust you.” Beta wants Aloy to know it’s a choice she’s making- this trust isn’t earned, not yet. 

Aloy mercifully stops pacing like a madwoman. “Okay. Then I say this without criticism, only to help you. You have to meet people where they’re at.”

“Where they’re at?” asks Beta. “Compared to us, they’re under the ground. And I don’t know how to get there.”

“Use Kotallo,” Aloy suggests. “When he got his focus he didn’t know any more than they do. Assume they know nothing. Try to use terms they understand- you start spouting about holos and data…you’ll lose them. They won’t be able to follow anything you say.”

“Aloy, I don’t know the Tenakth,” Beta argues. “Only what I’ve learned from datapoints. How am I supposed to relate to them- I don’t know them?”

Beta knows she’s making a strong argument. She’s lived in her own little metal-encased world all this time; she doesn’t know how to relate to anyone. This is partially due to Aloy, as well; her sister never took her out to experience anything. Not since the defeat of Nemesis.

“Together.” Aloy sighs. “We’ll do it together, then.” 

Together. Their last attempt at working together to defeat Nemesis didn’t end well for the sisters. It ended with so much animosity between the two of them, they never attempted to reconcile again. Is this it? Will this mission not only give Aloy a purpose, but give Beta and Aloy a chance to try again?

The sisters return to the group of waiting Tenakth. They stop their conversation, at attention fully now that Aloy isn’t holding herself back. 

This time, the conversation goes more smoothly; Beta listens closely to the terms Aloy uses to describe what they’re doing- this is only their first attempt at teaching. There are many more to come, and Beta might as well learn something she can use.

Aloy is almost transformed before her eyes; for these moments of explanation Aloy has purpose; her brows are stern but her eyes are bright and her voice is confident, authoritative. 

This is what Aloy’s meant to be doing, isn’t it? She doesn’t admit it to herself or others, Beta knows, but Aloy thrives as a leader. When she has nowhere to lead, she is lost.

Not only Beta is noticing this transformation. Kotallo’s gaze is intense as he watches his commander, and once again Beta narrows her eyes at him. This man has himself far too invested in Aloy. More than a commander, more than a friend. Beta doesn’t have to understand people yet to see what’s plain in front of her.

But does Aloy see it?

***

After Aloy’s intervention the Tenakth are much more willing to play along and learn how to use their new focuses. They learn how to call each other, how to scan things. Beta somehow didn’t realize the tribe doesn’t use written language, which causes issues with using a focus, to be sure; but the next day the sisters demonstrate how to use its accessibility functions to read out words to them and transcribe spoken ones.

This brings about another thing- Aloy is realizing she needs to figure out a way to make learning glyphs and written language accessible- for the Tenakth especially. After today’s straining but not terribly long training sessions, the sisters took the afternoon to leave the Grove to find some much-needed quiet. They sit on the ground, looking out towards the brackish pond behind the Arena. The afternoon is unbearably hot but cloudy; a promise of rain this evening.

“We need to help the Tenakth learn to read,” says Aloy, breaking their several minutes of silence. “I think we should ask Kotallo what he used to learn.”

“I messed that up, I know,” Beta says. “I didn’t consider the fact that they wouldn’t know how to, when I tried to teach them. Among other things.”

Aloy’s already been through this all before. How difficult it is to deal with the tribes when she has all this pesky knowledge- for the first time in her life, does she have someone she can relate to?

Aloy isn’t an unkind person by nature, nor is she ignorant. She is more than aware that she hasn’t treated Beta with kindness or patience. Why is that?

“You asked me to trust you,” says Beta. She stares ahead of herself; there’s a sheen of sweat on her face, a mark of the lowland humidity, but she hasn’t complained yet. Maybe Aloy judged her too quickly.

“Yeah.”

“Will you trust me?”

Aloy can’t answer immediately. Their relationship isn’t conducive to trust. She and Beta are sisters, yet strangers.

In more than three years, Beta never attempted to get below the surface of Aloy’s persona. She knows nothing more than the basic things Aloy might tell any curious and well-meaning person. Three years is a long time; longer than the time between the Proving and when Aloy began her fight against the Zeniths. Yet, in so much more time, Beta has accomplished none of the personal development that Aloy was able to achieve.

Is this my fault? No, it can’t be. Aloy had Rost to love and raise her. She had survival and combat skills which Beta couldn’t help to make it in this world without. Aloy had a reason to continue on, to move through the world in the way she did.

She assesses Beta, who takes deep calming breaths now, that sheen of sweat beading into rivulets that run down her face and look so much like tears. Beta was weepy when they first met, a terrible trait. Aloy hasn’t seen Beta cry in a long time. Physically, her sister may be soft- but mentally…the walls have been built. Mentally, Beta is unbending steel.

“What is it, Beta?” Reluctantly, Aloy answers. Not quite ready to trust, but maybe ready to consider it.

“I want you to tell me something about you.”

Aloy gulps down her scoff. “Something specific?”

“Yes, actually.” The way Beta continues to stare ahead and not look at Aloy whatsoever is unnerving. “I want you to tell me about your romantic history. If there is one.”

“My…why do you want to know about this, Beta?” 

“It seemed a fitting question to get to know you better.”

Aloy wonders what Beta expects to hear in response. That Aloy has no experience whatsoever? That she’s bed countless men and women her whole way west?

“It isn’t much,” says Aloy.

“I wouldn’t think so,” Beta says. “You were an outcast for eighteen years. For several years after that, I doubt you spared time for…romantic pursuits.”

“That isn’t entirely true.”

Beta’s typically serious face breaks character, one eyebrow almost imperceptibly lifting coyly. “Tell me, then.”

“I’ve-“ Aloy stutters before she can continue. She’s only spoken to one other person about the breadth of her romantic experiences- and that was the first person she ever kissed; it was a long time ago. At least it feels that way. Even the first time she had sex, she didn’t tell that person it was her first time. It felt too personal.

This is my sister. Shouldn’t I trust her for something like this?

“When I was an outcast,” Aloy says, “you’re right. I had no experiences then. I shared my first kiss with someone from the Nora tribe; it was the night before the Proving ceremony. He was kind, and I was…curious.”

“I find myself curious, as well,” Beta says.

Aloy blinks hard. It’s unlike Beta to share anything personal like this; just as strange for Aloy to do it herself, she supposes. “This is one of your theories about the Real World?”

“I guess you could say that.”

And what about now? It’s been a long time since Aloy’s felt any interest in anyone; her reclusive nature the past few years has kept her away from the possibility. Romantic pursuits have been nowhere near her mind.

“Thank you for sharing,” says Beta, wiping her sweaty brow. “And thank you for helping with this training. This is why I need to be out here. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You can trust me.” Aloy bites her thumb to get her through this, this admission that probably won’t mean much because of her past treatment of Beta. “It’s a good thing that we’re here together.”

Neither of them say more. Aloy tugs at her armor, feeling suffocated and tight. Dreams of being tangled in white paint are going to haunt her tonight; and they haven’t in a long time.

Chapter Text

Aloy’s boots are wet. They always seem to be wet in Lowland territory.

She and Beta are riding Chargers on their way to Thornmarsh. Aloy wants this Lowland adventure over with sooner rather than later. She closes her eyes to the dappled sunlight, remembering years past. In another life, she and Kotallo used to commiserate about their dislike of this climate; humid and sticky and cloying. They would share stories of finding warmth in the snow, both missing their respective homelands. 

Swapping stories and laughing, allowing accidental brushes of white-painted skin to send tingling pleasure through her veins, feeling both curious and guilty; that Aloy doesn’t exist anymore.

Her eyes blink back open, readjusting slowly to the light around her. Aloy has their Chargers set to follow the man-made paths; they aren’t in a hurry. At her side, music plays just loudly enough to be noticed through Beta’s focus.

Aloy has been surprised by Beta’s determination to continue on this journey, or mission, or whatever it may be. They both agreed to pursue it, this is true. However, in the back of her head, Aloy expected any number of things to push Beta into admitting she wanted a quick return to the Base, be it machines, uncomfortable conditions, or her flailing interactions with the Tenakth.

But none of these things have dissuaded her. Aloy has viewed herself and Beta for too long as opposing forces; and they remain different, but some quality of those Sobeck genes persists- an unstoppable resolve that dictates them. If Beta truly wants to accomplish whatever her goals are on this journey- it seems she won’t be thwarted.

For his part, before they left the Memorial Grove Kotallo promised to create a resource to help the Tenakth learn glyphs and written language. He might cut his remaining arm off to feed it to them if Aloy asked, his sense of duty is so strong. Aloy used to feel that, too- when she still had a fighting heart.

Who is Aloy now, if she doesn’t have those things?

The winding, slow journey through the jungle on her Charger gives Aloy far too much time to consider it. Beta is constantly quiet beside her, listening to her music, though Aloy can see her scanning things they see with her focus, and observing their surroundings with care.

A rumbling to her left makes Aloy pause. She keeps her voice low and holds out her hand. “Stop, Beta.”

The music from Beta’s focus ceases playing. Aloy doesn’t have need for her focus often any more, not to help her identify machines. Their metallic grinding and footfalls, light or heavy, are enough now for her to surmise what she is up against before their ugly metal faces even show themselves. This machine is on especially bad behavior. He’s not meant to be this far out. It’s true that machines tend to be much more docile these days, but some machines just seem to have an aggressive instinct locked in. A coding error, maybe.

“Find yourself a good place to hide. I trust you can do that yourself.”

“Is there a machine close by, Aloy? Maybe I can…I can help?” Beta asks.

“No,” Aloy answers quickly and firmly. As far as Aloy knows, Beta hasn’t trained with another human in years. Definitely not with her. Imagine her first experience fighting again being face-to-face with a Fireclaw. “This is not a machine you want to be up against; trust me.”

Beta’s face holds itself in an unpleasant pinch but she ultimately agrees. “Okay, then. I’ll hide.”

A Fireclaw. A particular unpleasant machine. Aloy doesn’t shy away from a fight, but there are some she’ll avoid if she can, just to save herself the headache- and the ammo. But if an aggressive Fireclaw is wandering the Raintrace Aloy can’t in good conscience leave it there, where it might kill others, no matter that it hasn’t spotted her sister or herself yet.

She doesn’t head straight for the machine. Killing a machine only to protect others- it used to be an automatic action of Aloy’s. An instinct, you could say, to do this kind of thing. Her isolation of the past few years made her forget that part of herself; or maybe bury it. 

If she comes across a group of warriors traveling these days, she’ll ignore them. And most of Aloy’s time is spent hiding away in the Base anyways, shirking both sunshine and company. Like the cracking of dried mud on a long-unused limb, some part of herself comes back to her. She furrows her brow to herself.

At least this fight will take her mind off of her thoughts.

Beta is out of sight from what she can tell; Aloy moves in. 

The Fireclaw doesn’t notice her at first. While she remains unseen, Aloy pummels freeze bombs towards the machine in quick succession, hoping to freeze it quickly while it’s still somewhat distracted. It freezes, but it only slows the machine down. Aloy makes use of her bow and spikes while it isn’t bearing down on her, arms tiring from the exertion, but doesn’t manage to kill it before it breaks free of its temporary freeze.

As she attempts to get some distance between herself and the blazing, stinking machine, Aloy hears an out-of-place explosion from somewhere behind. Her foot slips in the mud, and she feels the slice of something- a sharp piece of metal buried in the mud, maybe- her foot stings in agony but she pushes it to the back of her mind.

What the hell was that? Is there someone else here? Beta?

She swings around, panic-stricken now at the thought that something might’ve happened to Beta- her sister, yes, her difficult, sometimes rude, and pessimistic sister, but ultimately Aloy’s only piece of family in this world- Aloy’s bow is at the ready, and she’s not exactly sure what she’ll be aiming at, but…

The Fireclaw lies limp in a smoldering heap.

What just happened? 

From behind some shrubs, dangerously close to where the Fireclaw cried its last ear-splitting roar, Beta stands up slowly. Aloy watches silently as she walks right up to the fallen Fireclaw, then stoops to look even closer.

Something about Beta’s complete nonchalance wipes away Aloy’s former panic and irritates her instead. “Beta. What were you doing hiding so close- these machines have a wide range of movement, and they’re faster than they look. You could’ve been killed- do you get that? I thought you might’ve been!”

“But I wasn’t.” Beta kneels down and jerks something out from under the Fireclaw’s body. Aloy wonders briefly if Beta has ever been this close to a machine, dead or alive. Beta holds up what she was looking for; it’s a part of a trap. She throws it in Aloy’s direction. “Did you wonder how this machine went down, while you were running away?”

“Well, yes, but-“

“I set a trap. I’ve studied your fighting patterns; I know you strike closely and then run to get distance to use your bow. I could track the path the Fireclaw would take you follow you, and I set a trap in its path. You’re welcome.”

Aloy can’t control her wince as she walks over to Beta and the dead Fireclaw, the cut on her foot stinging intensely. What was Beta thinking? If she was close enough to set that trap, she was close enough to be trampled, or worse. The “Real World” doesn’t care about your thirst to prove something to yourself, thinks Aloy. I had to learn the lesson, too.

“Aloy, is there something wrong with your foot?” Beta asks. 

“No…my foot’s fine.” As Aloy walks, she limps. First Beta thinks Aloy needs her help in battle and now she’s overly concerned about some stupid inconsequential injury? “Let’s keep moving. This fight wasted our time. We probably won’t even make it to Thornmarsh today.”

***

They, in fact, don’t make it to Thornmarsh that day. They come upon a lean-to shelter, and Aloy insists on stopping for the night; the sun is quickly dipping below the horizon.

As Aloy drops down from her Charger, Beta notices the wince of pain when she lands on her right foot- the one Aloy insisted was fine earlier.

“Your foot isn’t doing well. You lied before,” says Beta. Aloy’s refusal to take care of herself is beginning to be nonsensical. Stupid, even. “Let me look at it.”

“I said it’s fine.” Aloy’s tone is harsh, and her expression is intimidating. But she’s forgetting; Beta helped take down a Fireclaw today. Aloy’s fire is nothing in comparison.

“I have some medical training, thanks to APOLLO and my copious amounts of free time. Show me your foot.” Beta doesn’t bother waiting for Aloy to approve; she grabs her sisters foot and unties her narrow boot, removing it slowly.

Aloy doesn’t mask her uncomfortable face well as her foot is revealed. At first look Beta can see Aloy bled into her boot- but the reddish brown stain is partially washed away; her boot was wet today, and the wound festered.

“Aloy, this doesn’t look good.” Beta peels off Aloy’s wet sock, and sure enough, the wound looks terrible, and a whitish-green fluid tinges it. “And…now it looks worse.”

“Thank you. I could’ve told you that myself.”

“Really, Aloy. Then why were you trying to say it was fine all day?” 

Aloy doesn’t respond. Of course not, she has no rebuttal.

Beta ignores her sister as she bends her leg towards her face to get a good look at the wound herself. She opens her focus instead; compiling data from Aloy’s scans in the area and her own research into medicines Beta is able to come up with a plan. Plans are good. Plans ensure you have something to work towards and a clear destination. Plans are something that Aloy likes to come up with at the last second- though at least she has them. Beta, on the other hand, prefers to be more prepared and methodical. That way, if something goes wrong, you aren’t left stressed or scrambling.

In typical Aloy fashion, she didn’t check her medicine stores before leaving; a quick glance into her pack tells Beta as much. She’ll wait to chastise her later; right now, Beta will have to convince Aloy she will be safe enough to go looking for the medicinal plants needed to keep her infection at bay.

“Aloy.” Beta’s firm voice makes her jump and snap her head up quickly. “I’m going to find some medicinal berries and bitterleaf. I won’t be gone long.”

“I know you helped me with that Fireclaw today, but don’t be stupid,” says Aloy roughly. “It isn’t safe for you to wander alone without me.”

“Thanks to you, I don’t have a choice,” argues Beta. So much for waiting for this conversation. “You don’t have anything ready in your pack. Why are you so irresponsible? Do you want your foot amputated? Because that’s what you’re looking at if I don’t do something to help this infection.”

Surely, Aloy won’t argue further. She isn’t that stupid.

She doesn’t argue. With a grimace, Aloy yanks two things from her belt and tosses them in Beta’s direction. The first object lands nearby Beta’s feet but the second, she’s able to catch; a cloth bag full of what feels like small, spherical objects. Picking up the first object she missed, she recognizes it- a weapon- a blastsling.

“Take those with you,” says Aloy. “Hopefully you won’t have to use them.”

Yes, hopefully. Beta isn’t stupid, either. She hasn’t practiced her aim in years, and were she to get herself into a situation where she had to use these things today, she doubts it would help her much more than if she went without them. 

Not far from where she left Aloy, Beta is able to pick handfuls of bitterleaf. She needs to walk a little farther to find the bright red medicinal berries she needs. Off in the slight distance her focus scans a small pack of Clamberjaws. An unpleasant machine, based on the footage she’s watched of her squadmates fighting them, but fortunately one that appears more on the docile side these days. As long as she isn’t clattering around, they shouldn’t take notice of her.

Berries secured, Beta returns to Aloy. She isn’t in same place Beta left her.

“What do you think you’re doing? I haven’t been gone long at all- you couldn’t sit still?”

“I haven’t moved,” Aloy says daringly. 

No, Beta is far too observant. She isn’t in the same place. “Should I pull up the recording from my focus just to prove a point?”

“Just- ugh.”

“Stop being a terrible patient. I know this isn’t the first time, either.” Beta improvises her work, mashing the berries and bitterleaf with a spoon and bowl from Aloy’s pack. “Do you have any water? Or are you hopelessly underprepared?”

Aloy grabs the waterskin from beside her and throws it in Beta’s general direction. 

“Thanks.” A small amount of water turns Beta’s concoction into a paste. “Okay. Be ready.”

While Beta works on Aloy’s foot she says nothing. She’s thinking of their conversation the other day, sitting by the standing water of the pond behind the Memorial Grove. Trust. Aloy has trusted Beta enough today to let her explore the wilds on her own, and to allow her help with her foot without double-checking her plan, or even asking about it. So- Beta must have earned some of that trust, somehow.

Was it their other conversation? Beta inquired about Aloy’s romantic past. The hopelessly obvious longing looks of Kotallo during their time in the Grove sent Beta’s imagination into overdrive. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering if Aloy was as observant as she, if she noticed Kotallo’s attention; if maybe the two of them had some secret past- which it doesn’t seem they do, at least from what Beta can tell- and then…more thoughts. Uncomfortable ones. Ones that left Beta feeling left out and longing- for what, she isn’t sure. 

Beta doesn’t know, truly, what she expected Aloy to say about her past. She was neither surprised nor expectant of the answer she received. Her feelings after learning what she did were…unusual.

Aloy has had so many things that Beta has not. A loving father, caring friends, and the strength and confidence to get what she wants, to name the most important. Aloy seems to think of Beta as some more pathetic, weaker version of herself but now, after these years on Earth, Beta understands that it’s unfair, this assessment of her. Who is to say that under identical circumstances and upbringings, the Sobeck sisters wouldn’t have turned out just the same?

Alas, they haven’t. And here is yet another thing that Aloy gets but Beta will never have the luxury of experiencing, because she is too different. Too other, in the Real World. Aloy gets to experience the comfort of physical touch, and the admiration of others. Beta has heard the rants, as has their whole squad, on the unwanted attention Aloy receives from admirers. Aloy is selfish; she only thinks of herself. Beta will never know what it feels like to be held by someone who cares about you. To see eyes full of longing, or even desire, looking back at you.

But she’s getting carried away, and if she lets herself drift too far, her jealousy and defeat will come oozing out. Beta mentally boxes her thoughts and locks them away.

A splash of water to clean Aloy’s foot, a swath of the paste, and a wrap around Aloy’s foot using a (hopefully) clean cloth found in her pack- and the injury should be okay, for now. 

“We should get going first thing in the morning. In Thornmarsh, they’ll be able to better help you,” says Beta.

“That’s up to you,” snarks Aloy. 

It’s true, Beta often wakes up late after spending the night hours studying or watching holos. It fills the time, when she doesn’t want to think about all those things her mind just indulged itself in. “Then wake me up. It’s important.”

“Fine.”

Beta sets up their camp, trying earnestly to remember how Aloy does things. Roll out the bedrolls, check water supplies, set out food for the night…and start the fire. She takes Aloy’s fire starter and attempts to force the pieces together properly to create a flame. It doesn’t go well.

“Aloy…I can’t figure out how to do this.” Beta feels embarrassed, and a little angry that she’s left needing to ask Aloy for help. Just another thing I can’t do. But they need the fire.

“Pass it here.”

Beta expects her to snatch it right out of her hands in annoyance, but Aloy holds her hand out patiently when she moves closer to the fire. Aloy easily uses the flint and steel to get the fire going, then passes them back to Beta.

After a long moment staring into the growing flames, Aloy speaks. “Thanks. For your trap today. And your help.”

Beta bristles. Aloy isn’t meeting her eye, her attention is set on the fire.

Beta does the same, letting the heat and brightness sting her vision. “I’m not useless, you know.”

“I never said those words,” says Aloy.

“Sometimes, words aren’t needed. A tone or expression can do it for you.” People always expect quiet people to be clueless, to be naive. The quiet people are the most observant of all; they can see right through you- and you don’t even have to speak. “You told me it was a good thing we’re here together. Do you really believe that?”

Aloy doesn’t answer immediately. “I did in the moment.”

So Aloy is still sour. What about, Beta can’t guess. She chooses not to continue the conversation, and blinks harshly as the flames begin to irritate her eyes.

“Sorry,” Aloy breaks suddenly, her head falling between her knees. “I’m…taking things out on you unfairly.”

“What exactly…are you taking out?” Beta asks carefully. Maybe, if prodded correctly, Aloy will be honest about her feelings.

Aloy takes a long breath and sighs. “I need to figure it out, I guess.”

Trust. Aloy already demonstrated her trust today, and she does it once more with these words, this admission. Beta feels this need, this drive, to do the same. 

“You’re not the only one trying to figure things out,” Beta tries quietly. Testing the waters. Aloy might not care to know more.

Aloy glances briefly at her. Her expression is strange, and also twisted by the shadows of the flickering flames of the fire; dark has fallen by now. 

“Then we’re alike,” Aloy says.

I guess we are. Aloy hasn’t ever admitted that she and Beta are alike; at least not that Beta can recall. Aloy is quick to differentiate them, to make obvious their differences; particularly the ways that she sees Beta as inferior. An inferior copy. At one point, Beta’s naiveté convinced her that Aloy didn’t see her that way. She wonders what Aloy thinks now.

“Thank you,” says Beta, trying to reciprocate Aloy’s gratitude. “For helping with the fire.”

“It isn’t a problem,” says Aloy. “If…if you want, I can teach you how to do it yourself next time. You’re…” Aloy clears her throat and visibly swallows before continuing. “You’re a fast learner.”

In the past, Beta’s instinct would’ve been to argue with logical points demonstrating why this compliment can’t possibly be valid. But that would be her insecurities speaking, not the truth. “Then we’re alike.”

***

In Thornmarsh, the only one who will be receiving a focus is Commander Atekka. When the sisters arrive at the long entry ramp, Beta insists on locating a healer immediately. She even helps Aloy walk, letting her lean on her for support. 

These past two days, Beta has demonstrated herself as a leader. Aloy never expected to see leadership to shine forth from a person so meek, but then again…Beta is also showing herself to be far less meek than she used to be- at least when she’s around Aloy. 

The Tenakth healer fixes her foot with a medicinal balm more potent than the one Beta made her, and a container of more so that she can apply it freshly every day. While Aloy sits still for the healer, shamefully being a much better patient for him than she was for Beta, Aloy considers a plan to give Atekka her new focus and teach her how to use it.

Aloy and Beta are given some private quarters to share during their stay. Inside the small and humble hut, which doesn’t consist of much more than two cots, Aloy lets herself fall into a seat on her cot and addresses her sister. “If you want, you can be in charge of helping Atekka with her focus.”

Beta is unpacking some of her things but pauses, looking down at her own cot. “If you want me to.”

“It would be good practice,” insists Aloy. “And with only one person to train this time, we can get out of here faster. You like to be efficient.” 

Beta gives a dark look to her foot. “No. No, Aloy. That healer told you to rest. I heard him.”

“Everyone tells me to rest. You can see how well that works out.”

“So you know better than everyone else, is that it?” Beta’s words sting harshly, for some reason. 

It doesn’t feel good when they bicker like this. Not that it ever did, but somehow, some way…Aloy thought she and Beta were beginning to come to some kind of understanding. 

“I never said that,” says Aloy. “Why do you keep putting words in my mouth?”

“…sorry.”

Aloy thinks she can guess what Beta is feeling. Lost, like it’s her against the world- the feeling isn’t exactly unfamiliar to Aloy herself. Her against the world. And here I am, being one more annoying barrier in her way. I’m Tekotteh throwing spite in her face. I’m Ulvand being an ass and looking out only for myself. I’m Sylens, withholding respect and kindness for no other reason than because I can. Because I think I’m better.

But I’m not.

“I’ll rest,” says Aloy. “Okay? I’ll rest here. Until you think I’m healed and ready to leave. Does that work?”

The look of mistrust and disbelief on Beta’s face twists a knife into Aloy’s heart. She knows she’s done this with her own hand and thoughtless tongue; she’s created a relationship with Beta so unwieldy even these honest words can’t move Beta.

“You’re right, Beta. I should rest. We’ll go to Atekka tomorrow.”

“…together?” asks Beta slowly.

“Yes, together,” confirms Aloy. “I’ll be there in case…in case you need me.”

“So you think I will, then?”

“No.” This isn’t going as planned. Beta isn’t remotely ready to accept her. “I’ve already needed you when I didn’t expect it. I’m returning the favor.”

Beta straightens up, meeting Aloy’s eyes with a cold gaze…but not entirely cold. In Beta’s unusually green eyes, ones identical to those that Aloy possesses, there’s a softness. Some sort of warmth and light that waits on the fringes, ready to move in with the right encouragement, or the right circumstances.

“Okay, Aloy. We’ll do it together.”

***

“You’re taking the lead.”

Aloy woke today determined to make Beta’s second experience training positive for her. It became all too clear yesterday that their animosity can’t continue; and more importantly, it shouldn’t. Aloy doesn’t often feel shame, not about her own actions, but this time it is completely warranted. She’s been treating Beta like an unwanted burden, keeping her sheltered and alone, when really Aloy is the only one right now that can be her connection to the…the “Real World,” or whatever Beta calls it. 

How frustrated was Aloy back in her outcast days, when she was cast aside, harassed, and ignored? It’s taken her a shameful amount of time to realize she’s doing the same to Beta, though in different ways.

Another crack seems to form, that dried mud falling away once more. Empathy.

Beta gives her a determined look. “Okay.”

Unlike Tekotteh, Atekka doesn’t hole herself up in a private chamber; they find her talking with some of her soldiers and ask for a private space to talk. Atekka is somewhat wary of the concept of the focus at first, but in a pointed and obviously purposeful manner Beta tells her that Chief Hekarro approves of the concept- and even has one of his own already. The little bit of manipulation takes Aloy by surprise- and it works.

Beta paid very close attention to their last session training at the Grove. She remembers the way Aloy related to the Tenakth, all the way down to the words she used- like Vision, contact, and glyphs- words the Tenakth can wrap their heads around. No doubt, it also helps that Atekka is sharp and learns fast, but the credit still goes to Beta. Today, she is demonstrating that she knows what she’s doing.

Beta rounds off her lesson with a mention of Kotallo’s forthcoming resource to learn glyphs. They’ve been at their practice for about an hour or two, and she stands up abruptly from the bench she sits on beside Aloy.

“I think I’ll- if it’s okay, I’ll take a break for a moment,” says Beta somewhat awkwardly. “I won’t go far. I’ll stay right in front of the settlement.”

This is an allusion to our earlier argument. The one where Aloy snapped that Beta shouldn’t be wandering alone. If she’s willing to follow Aloy’s advice, then maybe…

“We’ll be fine, Beta,” says Aloy. “Take your break.”

“Aloy.” Atekka’s calm but firm voice sparks her brain out of her daydreaming. “It really is nice to see you around again. Our Champion was starting to feel like a Vision; something of the distant past.”

“I’m not-“ Aloy cuts herself off. It’s probably insulting to the Tenakth, the way she belittles her own accomplishments. Maybe…just maybe, it’s time to get over herself, and not only with Beta. “Sorry. I’ve had other things…I’ve been doing.”

“I understand,” says Atekka without further prodding. “How long will you be staying with us? You can keep your quarters as long as you need them.”

“A few days, at least,” says Aloy. “I injured my foot a few days ago. Beta insists I should stay and heal up before we leave…and she’s probably right.”

“A sister that will dote on you? A true blessing of the Ten,” says Atekka. “I saw her bring you to the healer when you first arrived.”

Aloy’s heart sickens at Atekka’s words, which feed into her guilt all the more. Atekka can’t know how those words affect her; Aloy changes the subject. She listens with interest as Atekka tells her of the improvements in the conditions around Thornmarsh, which better every year.

Like her old self used to, Aloy is carried away by Atekka’s tales, getting invested in things that have nothing to do with her, and enjoying the positive news. The time passes quickly without Beta’s return; when her stomach begins to rumble for a midday meal, Aloy excuses herself to go looking for her. On her way out of the settlement, Aloy picks up cuts of freshly cooked fatty meat to bring out to Beta when she finds her. 

Beta was true to her word. She is seated on a log bench not far from Thornmarsh’s main entrance, looking out towards the ocean.

“Hey, Beta.” Aloy joins her on the bench. She holds out the plate of food. “Brought something to eat. Atekka didn’t have any further questions for now.”

“Thank you,” says Beta. She takes a piece of meat and eats, but doesn’t meet Aloy’s eye, or say anything more.

“Everything okay?”

Beta stops chewing momentarily, then finishes her bite slowly and swallows. “I can’t…I admit I’m having a hard time getting used to all of these…people. There isn’t a single place you can be alone in these settlements.”

“No,” Aloy agrees. “If I was alone I would be staying outside of it…but then I wouldn’t have your help if I was alone, would I?”

Finally, Beta makes eye contact. “You’re being nice to me today.”

If Beta is commenting on it, it can only be because it isn’t expected. Aloy’s heart grows sicker, still. “No. I’m just not going out of my way to be an asshole.”

An almost imperceptible smirk pulls at the side of Beta’s lips. “Sure.”

“I understand, you know. The need to…be alone, sometimes. I think I’ve indulged myself a little too much with alone time these past few years,” says Aloy.

“What would you do? When you first left your isolation?” asks Beta. “Did you have to get used to being around all this constant…chatter, and noise?”

“I kept isolating myself.”

“That isn’t true,” counters Beta. “I’ve watched so much holo footage of you meeting new people, or helping them, even walking right up to leaders many years your elders like it’s not a big deal.”

Beta has a point. But that was always out of necessity…well, maybe sometimes not, Aloy spent a lot of time helping people she didn’t need to…

Aloy says something just to get the pressure away from her, just to get her out of responding.“You don’t want to spend too much time around others- but isn’t that the whole point of this mission?”

“It’s part of it,” says Beta.

“So what’s the other part?”

“You.”

“Me?”

“You haven’t had direction in a long time,” nods Beta. “Based on my observations, this isn’t serving you very well. This is a new direction. A new mission. For you, and me.”

If Aloy’s heart feels any more sick, it might wither away and die. “You thought of me…”

“I admit, when my plan came together, I knew you needed this- but I didn’t care to make sure you understood,” says Beta. “I’m…sorry. I thought mostly of myself. I knew this mission would help me get more experience.”

Selfish- the sisters show themselves to be alike once again.

“It doesn’t matter,” says Aloy. “But, for what it’s worth…you…you were right. I think I did need this. I do.”

They look at each other meaningfully, and Aloy can imagine their faces exactly mirror each other; fresh with a new understanding. 

“It’s okay for us to lean on each other,” says Beta. “To…need each other. Sometimes.”

Aloy’s gaze falters. How is Beta, the sheltered one, the inexperienced one, coming to these realizations first? I’m a jerk. Or an idiot. Or both.

“You’re right.” Aloy lifts her head back up. “Both of us.”

Aloy has what she wanted, then. Beta is coming away from her training stint feeling positive, mostly. The feelings Aloy has are both good and unsettling…but one thing is definite. Today, of all days…she feels more herself than she’s felt in years.

“You should go in, on your own,” says Aloy. “Check in with Atekka, see if she needs anything more with her focus. I’ll…I’ll stay here for a moment; I’ll check in with Kotallo on his progress.”

“Sounds good.” With a nod and a grab for one more piece of meat, Beta heads back towards Thornmarsh. Aloy admires her lack of hesitation.

She really wants to stay out here for a bit and tumble over her thoughts, but she also doesn’t want to start this new understanding with Beta out by being a liar…so Aloy calls Kotallo’s focus.

“Commander,” his low voice answers almost immediately.

“Hey, Kotallo.” Aloy’s thoughts are still too jumbled. She can’t figure out what to say next.

“Aloy…are you well?” Kotallo drops his formality, the concern in his voice stretching into a deep well.

“I…don’t know.” What compelled her to be honest? It’s a question she would typically only answer quickly, with the expected response; a response that would make the questioner move on and not worry.

“Would you like to talk? I am not otherwise occupied.”

Something squirms, deep inside Aloy’s gut, at Kotallo’s kind words. They echo Beta’s, insisting that it is okay to lean on each other, to need each other.

Aloy has hardly ever relied on others for her emotional needs. But now, with her missions completed, every day- every hour- her emotions are all Aloy is left with. Confronting her emotions wasn’t something she ever needed to do before- they weren’t relevant to the mission, so they didn’t bear thinking about.

Maybe it’s time to begin accepting it. She’s human.

“It’s been hard for me. Figuring out who I am, or what I want, now that my missions are over,” Aloy admits. Once the words leave her, that squirming squirrelly feeling inside of her almost becomes unbearable. Is it fear? That she admitted weakness? Or maybe the shame she recently gained spiraling out of control? Or guilt, to put her heavy emotions onto Kotallo’s shoulders, even in this, the smallest of ways.

“I understand you,” Kotallo says simply.

“You do?”

“It is how I felt, after I lost my arm all those years ago. I could have no purpose, because I had no worth. It was you, Aloy, who brought me back from the darkness, with your guiding light.”

She considers his words. Some of them, she’s heard before.

Kotallo continues. “In that regard, if I can help you now…if I can do the same. Nothing would make me more grateful.”

What he’s saying…it causes many unsettling thoughts to ricochet through her brain. Guilt. Despite Aloy’s isolation and neglect of her friends lately, he’s still more than willing to be there for her. Sadness. If Kotallo feels he owes her anything…he’s wrong. And the most unsettling…some hopeful spark of excitement, some part of her that wants this help, if it comes from him.

Then guilt again. Isn’t Beta trying to do this same thing, though her methods are much more harsh? Aloy doesn’t deserve this help- even if some part of her wants it. 

“No, that’s okay, Kotallo. Your duties to your tribe are far more important,” Aloy says finally. “I’ll be fine. I always am.”

“Aloy…I may name you as such, but do you see yourself as my commander still?”

“Not really, no,” she says honestly, after a pause to think. “You’re a Marshal. You’re meant to be with your tribe.”

“Good. Then it will not be insubordination when I tell you, I insist,” says Kotallo. “Do you remember these words? It is what I choose.”

Those words…how could she forget them? They made her smile that day; she accepted Kotallo readily into her squad- he was the first one she allowed into her fold so easily. This day…it gets stranger by the minute. 

“Okay, Marshal.” Aloy takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. “How can I say no to that?”

Chapter Text

“Where to next?” Aloy asks.

Her foot, fortunately, has healed enough that the journey can probably be made to the next settlement in the coming day, or the next. Aloy must’ve been determined not to make a liar or a burden of herself…she followed the directives of both Beta and Thornmarsh’s healer, taking days to rest off of her feet and applying a generous amount of salve twice a day; and her obedience payed off. 

Aloy and Beta have spent a few weeks now in Tenakth territory, so in Beta’s mind, the next logical destination should be more of the same. Kotallo is still working on his program, for lack of a better word, to help the Tenakth learn written language through their focuses, but it would be wise to at least get them all connected to the focus network at this time. Beta suggests the Sky Clan’s main settlement- the Bulwark. It may be a fair distance away from Thornmarsh, but were they to travel there next, they wouldn’t have a need to come back this far west again.

There seems to be hesitation on Aloy’s part, however. At the mere mention of the Bulwark, her face sours obviously.

“You don’t seem to agree with my choice,” says Beta plainly. 

“I never said I didn’t agree.”

“That’s correct, you didn’t,” agrees Beta. “It’s your body language. You don’t want to go to the Bulwark next? You asked for my input.”

Both sisters sit on a high platform in the large lowland settlement, not necessarily out of earshot of others, but not in the thick of things, either. At the mention of “body language,” Aloy appears to become even more irritated — frowning, straightening her back, and flicking her long braided hair over her shoulder.

“We’ve spent too long in this humidity,” says Aloy. “If we head towards the snow next, we might struggle.”

Beta considers the ridiculous counterpoint. Aloy has flown through multiple biomes, all in the same day. Many times. It’s hardly a good reason to not go to the Bulwark. “You mean, I will struggle.”

“That isn’t what I said.” Aloy’s tone is sharpening.

Beta takes a moment to think before responding. During their time here in Thornmarsh, the sisters have been able to come to some kind of…understanding. She thinks, for the most part, that she and Aloy have begun to trust each other, and even allow themselves to rely on each other a bit. But one of the sticking, frustrating points between them has been this; Beta assuming how Aloy feels and putting words in her mouth. She corrects herself.

 “I’m sorry. So you would rather go elsewhere, and later have to come back this way?”

Aloy shifts in her seat, changing the arrangement of her crossed legs. Her voice is clipped. “Not the Bulwark. We’ll go somewhere else next.”

There must be a reason why Aloy doesn’t specifically want to go there next. Beta’s review of Aloy’s focus recordings, as well as any logs from Aloy’s past missions have both indicated that she’s been there before; and not only that, but she created some of her personal brand of chaos there, as well. 

But years have passed since then — surely Aloy isn’t shy to show herself because of that, not now. So — what is it?

“Hidden Ember is almost equidistant,” suggests Aloy. “We could go there, instead.”

Hidden Ember. It’s an Oseram settlement in the heart of the desert; the last time Beta was there, they were in the midst of building it up; they probably still are, despite how much time has passed. The plans they had were big, and they were starting from practically nothing. 

In the end, maybe it isn’t such a big deal which settlement they go to next — the plan is to go to each major one eventually anyways, and they have all the time in the world — for now.

It’s also somewhat…soothing, to see the holos and lights of Hidden Ember in person. You can almost pretend you’re somewhere else; somewhere full of light and magic where…you just don’t have the troubles that real people do in this world. 

That’s what Las Vegas was for the Old Ones, wasn’t it? A place where people went to gamble and participate in debauchery and forget about their real life, their real problems. Maybe Aloy sees that vision for herself, too. The Bulwark might represent things to her that Beta doesn’t even understand. Hidden Ember is her escape.

They could do worse. 

***

Thank the Goddess, or whoever, Aloy’s foot did fine as she and Beta traveled to Hidden Ember. The air between herself and Beta was thick with unsaid things and unasked questions as they traveled, to the point that it was a relief to get to a place where the Oseram would be glad to fill in the space with words. They arrive to the still-new settlement with perfectly clear blue skies overhead and sweat dripping down their faces. 

The Bulwark was never an option to visit next. To start, Aloy has less than no desire to see Tekotteh’s unpleasant face. Then, more importantly, being in Kotallo’s birthplace will also bring up…things Aloy isn’t ready to deal with.

Years ago, she had been terrifyingly intrigued by the brooding one-armed Marshal who called the Bulwark his birthplace. Where usually she would dismiss someone immediately for speaking to her with the attitude Kotallo did when they first met, Aloy found, for some reason…she just couldn’t let him be. Maybe she didn’t want to. Then they got to know each other, and he and she became intimate with knowledge about their childhoods, their pasts, and their uncertain futures. By the time Kotallo insisted on joining their mission, Aloy was already hopeless to say no. 

And she had never felt that way about anybody. 

She still remembers the way Kotallo spoke to her last. He spoke in ways she has always appreciated; calm but insistent, loyal and humble. She won’t let herself read more into his words than was there, however. Kotallo said he would help her find her purpose, or find out who she is, now that she’s on her own. Aloy should only be grateful.

Though she isn’t on her own, not really. Aloy has Beta, after all. Both of them are less than quick to accept each other, but for now, they’re apparently determined to continue on this mission side by side. Another reminder that Aloy isn’t alone; a familiar voice can be heard coming from somewhere inside as they step off their Chargers and approach Hidden Ember’s main structure; an unmistakable one — low and grumbling but jovial; the kind of voice that uplifts you, whether you want it to or not. It certainly makes itself known wherever it sounds off. What is Erend doing here?

Aloy didn’t even consider contacting Erend’s focus, to see if he would be here. He was stationed at the budding settlement directly after the Zenith battle so long ago, but once the fight against Nemesis kicked off, Erend traveled to where he was needed. Last Aloy heard, he was back in Meridian. A feeling that has become quite familiar, like the donning of an old fur, rushes itself through Aloy’s body; guilt.

She’s spent the last few years ignoring almost everyone in her life — and for what reason? When she first came west Erend confronted Aloy about her…habits, for lack of a better word. He wasn’t the first to do it, but he was the most brutally honest about it. 

Aloy also remembers a friendly drink they shared, as well as a relieving hug, around the time the Zeniths were defeated. To think she developed herself so much during that time, only to completely hermit herself after. Erend might react any kind of way to seeing her again, without warning.

Aloy only hopes it isn’t in anger.

Erend’s booming voice trails off above them on the wooden platform as she and Beta drop off their Chargers and near the main tower of Hidden Ember, then booms into existence again, sounding confused. “Fire and spit…am I seeing things?”

“You’re not,” Aloy responds, squinting up at him with Beta at her side. 

“I am in the desert,” Erend says pointedly, crossing his arms. “The two of you could be a mirage, for all I know.”

“People see mirages of things they’re hopeful for; for example, a pool of water in the desert,” interjects Beta.

“I’m always hopeful to see my squadmates,” counters Erend with a roguish grin. “Get up here!”

Aloy hikes her pack up on her shoulder and starts up the ramp. Erend doesn’t seem upset about her negligence —not yet. Though the feeling could be lying in wait. 

“C’mere! Haven’t seen you in…well, I don’t even know!” Erend holds out one arm to embrace Aloy, and she reluctantly accepts. He waits a beat, then releases her and lifts his other arm out to Beta. “You too. And I don’t wanna hear about it — you’re getting this hug.”

When Beta glances her way, Aloy gives Beta a curt nod. This is the Real World she’s been asking for. With no small amount of hesitation and stiffness, Beta enters Erend’s sideways embrace.

“So what’re you two even doing here?” asks Erend when his and Beta’s awkward encounter ends. 

“Before I answer that — can we get into the shade?” answers Aloy.

“Sure thing,” says Erend. “Follow me. Ya might find things are starting to look a little different around here.”

They do. Inside the main tower, things have been patched up more than Aloy remembers, including excavating, renovating, and creating more stairs and ladders to higher levels of the tower. 

“I got myself a room on one of the higher levels,” brags Erend. “On account of me being such a help with things around here. They even keep it for me when I leave.” He pulls the two women aside to a small seating area on the third level, and offers them water from a pitcher that he grabbed on the way up. “Can’t say the same will be available to you two. Know how many times I’ve called your focus to get you down here?” Erend shakes his head at Aloy with a grin of disbelief. “I’m not holding it against you or anything, but your absence has been noted.”

“I’m sorry.” Aloy doesn’t know what else to say, and can’t even bring herself to take a sip of the water Erend poured her. Beta drinks hers immediately. 

Erend waves his large gloved hand and pours Beta another cupful of water. “I’m just giving you shit, Aloy. I’m happy to see ya. You too, Beta.”

“Me?” Beta startles as she lifts her cup back to her lips.

“Well, shit, when’s the last time you even left the Base? It’s good to see you out in the sunshine, that’s all,” he says happily. “Though, I haven’t heard much from you, either. Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“No…you’re right,” says Beta timidly. “That’s me. I rarely leave the Base.”

A feeling courses through Aloy at Beta’s quiet words that both surprises and startles her. She feels…protective, where normally she might agree with Erend’s blatant calling out of her sister; she might even chime in. But in this moment, she does something different. Aloy tries to think of something to say to distract Erend to leave her alone. 

“Why we’re here…well, it was Beta’s idea. But we want to distribute focuses across the tribes and settlements, because things have calmed down, and it would be good for people to be better connected, and learn from APOLLO, and…” Aloy trails off. 

“Things have been calmed down for a long time, now,” Erend says quizzically. “But whatever you say. I’m still glad you’re here. Whatever the reason.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Aloy can see another old friend approaching, a sturdy older Oseram man with a flair for the dramatic. She withers, longing for some privacy to get her energy up before she’s forced to have strained conversations with all of the long-time-no-see acquaintances that she hasn’t seen in months or years. 

“About a room,” she says quickly. “If we can’t get one in the tower…where could we get one? I wouldn’t mind resting for a few hours.”

“Me either,” adds Beta.

“Well, a tent, I could set you up with that,” says Erend, standing. He leads them back down the tower before Stemmur reaches their table, and out towards the sea of tents that has arisen around it. “Know we have a coupla empty ones for times like this. More than a couple, really. Y’know we’re trying to make this place a destination of sorts. Mostly Oseram visit us for now, but we’ve had a few curious Desert Tenakth wander over, too.”

“Really?” That surprises Aloy. Drakka has always told her that tensions between the Oseram out here and his people tend to be high, but it pleases her to know that at least a little, they’re accepting one another. Does it surprise her because she’s so out of the loop with all things tribe-related, or because it reminds her of two other opposing forces that somehow, someway, are learning to work together? 

“Yeah,” says Erend. “Now if we can figure out a way for safe passage to get some Carja here, that’s when the shards’ll start stacking up.”

“There might be…” Aloy pauses. “What Beta and I are here for, it just might help with that.”

“Oh really?” Erend lifts his eyebrows at her.

“We’ll tell you more later. After this rest.”

Their tent is simple; two cots and a small table with two chairs made of dry, weather-worn wood, as well as a pair of metal lanterns. Both Aloy and Beta don’t have a lot of belongings with them on this trip, so rather than unpack anything, they lay their packs on the dusty ground at the foot of their cots and take tentative seats on their respective ones. 

Aloy begins to take her boot off and unravel the cloth binding her foot; it won’t hurt to check how it’s looking, no matter that it wasn’t bothering her on their journey here. “Erend seems to be well. I thought he might have some unhappy words for me…but maybe he isn’t bothered that it’s been so long since I’ve talked to him…I don’t even remember when the last time was.”

Beta shifts a little in her cot before answering. “I’m sure that goes for most people we run into on this mission of ours. You became a hermit, Aloy.”

Aloy drops her foot and gives Beta a penetrating stare. “Like you?”

To her credit, Beta doesn’t back down. “Yes, like me. But I decided to come out here, didn’t I? I don’t…I don’t want to be like that, anymore.”

“I’m still deciding.” Lowering her eyes back to her foot, which seems perfectly fine and doesn’t require any more dedicated examination, Aloy tries to breathe evenly.

Beta doesn’t pressure her any more about it, and strokes her palm carefully over the surface of her cot. Something about Beta still, even after their tiny steps to get closer, grates on Aloy — though she tries not to let it. That same surety with which Beta used to bemoan their inability to have success against the Zeniths is now rearing its head to confidently proclaim Beta’s desire to be different.

Why can Beta feel so sure of herself — but Aloy just can’t?

***

Beta’s focus pings her exactly one hour after she closed her eyes on her dusty Oseram cot, just as she planned. A quick glance to the other side of her tent shows her that Aloy is still asleep, wearing off the fatigue that the desert heat brought upon them both.

Hidden Ember. After speaking with Aloy before their rest, Beta is even more curious as to why she was so insistent on not going to the Bulwark next — it seems she wasn’t thrilled to run into Erend, either, which was always a possibility, coming here. 

Beta knows Erend to be friendly, if a little thoughtless — though he’ll speak his mind and not think twice about it, even if what he’s saying isn’t fair or kind. In the past, he’s been a squad member that stands up to Aloy, or attempts to, and takes no issue in criticizing her when it’s needed. 

So Aloy would rather deal with the possibility of Erend’s admonishments than face whatever lies in wait at the Bulwark. Interesting.

When Aloy finally rouses herself, they both look out for Erend as they wander the settlement, hoping to get a little food in them before going back to sleep for the night. They find him talking with a small group of other Oseram, his loud voice reaching them before the bulky sight of him.

“Aloy, Beta,” Erend says happily when he sees them approaching. “I been telling these guys that you two were here, they were eager to see you.”

Beta remembers the three of them. They call themselves “showman.” Their personalities are loud, and when she first met them, Beta’s first thoughts were how shockingly different in personality to her they were, and subsequently, how uncomfortable they made her.

“Two maidens, hair of gold, wander into the village of the Ones of Old,” chants Stemmur, the oldest of the three.

Beta’s nose pinches involuntarily. “We just wanted to get dinner, that’s all.”

Beside her, Erend starts to chuckle. “I’ll lead the way. Aloy — entertain our friends while we find something for you to eat?”

“Uh…sure,” Aloy says.

Erend beckons Beta to follow him. They don’t go far, but out in the sand fields there are fire pits set up for cooking where Erend requests a meal for three; apparently he hopes to join the sisters while they eat tonight. 

“Oseram — we know when to slow down and take a rest,” says Erend, sitting on a wooden bench not far from the cook to wait for their food to be made. Beta carefully sits beside him, making sure to leave a healthy distance between their bodies. “So — I haven’t heard the details of this plan of yours. Giving out focuses, you said? Who’s getting one, and who’s not?”

“Aloy and I haven’t discussed it yet,” answers Beta shortly. “Who do you think would be a good representative for Hidden Ember?”

“Well, I’d say myself, but obviously I already have one,” says Erend with an air of humor. 

Beta can’t bring herself to acknowledge his joking manner. “Who else?”

“Straight to the point, eh?” Erend rubs his gloved hands together. “Morlund, for one. When I’m not around, he takes the leadership role. Then…” he licks his lips as he thinks it over. “Delah, maybe. She’s in charge of weapons and defense around here — you met her?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Tomorrow, then. Aloy is a friend of hers, I know that,” he says. “You and her sister, Boomer, would probably get along. She’s just as to-the-point as you. Just keep the explosives out of her hands when you’re talking.”

Erend gives her a very amused look, his mouth a gaping smirk and his brow furrowed, when Beta doesn’t bother responding to his second attempt at a joke. “You all rested enough this afternoon, I think. You can afford to stay up a little late; you’re having a drink with me to loosen up. I insist.”

Beta frowns. “If we’re going to proceed with our mission tomorrow, I don’t see how drinking tonight is a good idea.” Or, maybe this is what Aloy wanted all along. The debauchery of Las Vegas. Curiosity clouds Beta’s judgement. “Ask Aloy what she thinks. I’ll go along with whatever she says.”

“Good, good,” says Erend. He stands up and dusts his palms off on his knees unnecessarily. “Let’s check on this food — probably done by now.”

They return to Aloy, arms full of roasted meat just off the fire, fried and seasoned vegetables, and still-steaming rolls of bread. Erend takes them to a floor of the tower that boasts a bar and plenty of kegs; when they get seated and he suggests to share a few drinks together, Aloy doesn’t hesitate.

“Sure, Erend,” Aloy nods towards the bar. “That sounds great.”

Beta tries not to let her eyes widen at Aloy’s quick and agreeable response. She spoke too soon, apparently. She wondered, before, if Aloy would go along with a plan to have drinks tonight, but she can’t say she expected it.

Erend isn’t good at hiding his surprise, either. He wastes no time in requesting three mugs of ale from the bar and carrying them back to the table. “Drink up. The both of you — tense as bowstrings. I’m about to fix that.”

“I agreed to a drink, Erend,” huffs Aloy. “Not getting drunk.”

“We’ll see what happens.” He looks curiously at Beta. “Remind me — this isn’t your first drink, is it?”

“No,” she answers after taking a sip from her mug. “Though I don’t go out of my way to drink.”

“Nah, I wouldn’t think so,” says Erend. “Hell, at the Base I was usually on my own, unless Kotallo decided to join me. How’s he doing, anyways? You two seen him around lately? Or are you ignoring him like you do me?”

Beta’s eyes sink down into her mug, watching the ale quiver inside. It’s one thing if she ignores the rest of their squad; it’s a bit expected. But Aloy is supposed to be better about those things; and at one point, she was. And as much as Beta might have called out her sister for much of the same…she gets a nasty feeling listening to Erend do it. She wants to protect Aloy, almost, to tell Erend to leave her alone…but before she gets the chance, Aloy gives a short and curt response.

“He’s well.”

Erend scratches his chin. “Am I missing something? You two are even less chatty than usual. Drink up.”

“If you tell me to ‘drink up’ again, this drink’ll be on your head,” says Aloy, unamused. 

“Woah!” laughs Erend. “Now that’s the Aloy I remember.”

Aloy fixes him with a stern stare before tipping back her mug and draining it. “I’m gonna get another. Don’t wait up.”

Both Beta and Erend watch her go in the direction of the bar. A few moments later Aloy has a refilled mug in hand, but she doesn’t return to their table; she takes a seat at the bar and plops down.

“Guess it’s just you and me,” shrugs Erend. “I know I can get on her nerves, but damn. I was just joking.”

Wary of leaving Erend abandoned by the both of them, Beta drains her own mug, now. She’ll have to get through a hour or so of conversation somehow. 

“Want another?” asks Erend.

“Yes, please.”

He returns to the bar but makes a point to approach the opposite end from Aloy, pretending she isn’t there. When he sets the refilled mug in front of her, Beta takes another large drink. She’s so unused to drinking at all, the first is already lightening her head.

“So, is anything up with her? I’m used to the Aloy attitude, but fire and spit,” chuffs Erend. “Almost hurt my feelings this time.”

“Aloy was worried about seeing you,” Beta says.

“Is that so?”

“She…” Beta somehow has the self-awareness to know that maybe this is something that shouldn’t be shared, but…she’s inebriated, she does feel a little loose, and before she takes her own warnings in her head seriously the words are already leaving her. “Aloy knows she hasn’t always been respectful to you in the past. Or appreciative. I guess you’ve called her out before for her bad behavior.”

The amused grin that plays across Erend’s features causes a confusing flutter somewhere inside her gut. “I did call her out; that’s true. But that was years ago…I’m not the type to hold grudges. She really thought I would be upset about that, still?”

“Not only that,” answers Beta. “She thought you were likely to do it again. She hasn’t been keeping in contact with anyone lately.”

At that, Erend raises his brows and has a curious expression; one hard to read. “That’s the thing, though…Aloy and I, y’know…I don’t even consider us close anymore. A person misses those chances to link up so many times…I mean, you’d be stupid to keep trying. I choose to live my life now and just be pleasantly surprised and happy when I see her.”

Beta blinks, hard. Stupid to keep trying. Has it been stupid for her to keep trying to reach Aloy? It feels like since they left the Base together to begin this mission, part of the journey has been all about the two of them growing closer. They might have been clawing their ways there, fighting it at every step- but they have gotten closer. It’s undeniable. 

“You’re wrong,” says Beta.

Erend chuckles into his mug, then takes a drink. “I’m wrong?”

“It isn’t stupid to keep trying,” Beta clarifies. “You’re wrong about that.”

“Okay, you think I’m wrong,” says Erend. “And just like Aloy…you probably think you’re right about everything, huh? Not afraid to challenge anyone who disagrees with you?”

You don’t know me, Beta thinks. The last time she and Erend must have spoken…it was years ago, and she was a different person, then. In the aftermath of the Zenith battle Beta gained a tiny burst of hope; she needn’t fear for her life any longer, she had friends, and even a sister. Of course, she didn’t know then how her life would pan out next.

Beta didn’t know that once Nemesis came and the battle for Earth began, she and Aloy would disagree at every turn on their next course of action. She didn’t know she would become so opinionated and headstrong; and that the butting of heads against Aloy would only make them dislike each other. A dislike any stronger, if it hadn’t been curbed by this new understanding between them…it might’ve turned into hate.

If she challenges Erend ruthlessly in the same way…will he dislike her, too? She wouldn’t necessarily want that.

“I’m just offering another perspective,” Beta clarifies. “That’s all.”

“Huh. Less bite than Aloy,” Erend says with another drink.

“It would do you well to compare the two of us less,” says Beta. “Neither one of us like that.”

“Huh. Sorry, then,” he says. “Look, I’m feeling like the two of us are getting off on the wrong foot, here. Finish that drink, lemme get you another, and we’ll try again.” He does the same, tilting the butt of his mug into the air to swallow his ale quickly.

Beta glances over at Aloy, first. Her sister is still at the bar, but she’s now in conversation with a few Oseram. Her body language doesn’t suggest any discomfort or irritability. Beta finishes her second ale and holds the empty mug out for Erend to take. “Here.”

When he comes back with freshly-filled mugs, it seems Erend spent his time away from the table considering what to say to her. 

“So, you and Aloy,” he begins when he takes his seat. “You’re close now?”

“Close” is a loaded word. It doesn’t quite fit. “We’re closer than we used to be.”

“How long you been traveling together?”

“About a month.”

Erend nearly spits out his swallow of ale. “And you haven’t gotten sick of her? She hasn’t lost her patience with you?”

“No, both those things have happened,” says Beta. More things she shouldn’t be saying? Beta isn’t wholly sure, but it does feel good to say some of this out loud.

“What’ve you been doing?”

“It’s like we told you,” says Beta, sipping slowly of her third ale. She isn’t likely to have another. “We’ve been traveling to pass out focuses and teach people how to use them.”

Erend quirks his head. “You’ve been doing that?”

“Obviously.”

Erend chuckles and raises his mug before finishing his ale and standing. “You seem different. Getting another. Be right back.”

Different? At least he notices it, now. The two and a half ales swimming in her head are preventing her from analyzing it too deeply, but while she waits on Erend, Beta looks over to check on Aloy again. Not to reassure herself, but to make sure Aloy seems okay on her own.

Well. That’s different, too.