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- i feel like pelle would be really quite good with a partner who deals with some social anxiety, wether it be super severe or even just occasional!
✩ you, nor your fear of and difficulties with social interaction, never ever feel like a burden to him at all and he never has an issue trying so hard to make sure that you know this… especially when he knows that you can often feel like you are a burden to him…
- whenever you have especially bad days, the real bad days where your social anxiety is running through you strong basically as soon as you awake and you just do not even feel like leaving your shared bedroom at all or leaving the small shared band house, pelle really tries to be as supportive as he possibly can be and as supportive as he knows how to be
✩ he himself knows how it feels to not even want to get out of bed, he knows how it feels to not want any social interaction at all! even if the two of you feel these similar feelings for often differing reasons inside, he recognises your difficulties and he can almost recognise what is best for you in these times
- most of the time, pelle will not push you on these days! he himself does not enjoy to be pushed and encouraged too much when going through a harder day so he is not about to do that very same thing to you… usually, he will just let you lay in bed or do things in the small space of your shared bedroom!
✩ if you are laying in bed and trying to soothe the stress in your mind, he will often just sit beside you on the mattress with his back pressed against the painted wall whilst writing down some lyrics or drawing in the sketchbook that you bought for him… he does not realise just how comforting it is for you to hear his soft breathing beside you, he does not quite realise how much you appreciate his near complete silence instead of trying to drag words out of you… pelle knows that your shared bedroom is your safe place of sorts, he knows that you feel the most relaxed and the most safe in your shared bedroom and he does not want to ruin that for you at all! which is why he tends to stay quiet, not that he is ever overly talkative anyways…
- when sitting beside you and drawing whilst knowing that you are not feeling the best mentally, he will usually draw something that you like! wether it be a flower or an animal, a location or an insect! if he knows that it is something you like and it is something that might bring you some peace in a time that your mind is like a whirlwind of fear and insecurity, he does it without even thinking and quietly shows you the new drawing when it is finished by gently tapping you on the shoulder and whispering down to you whilst moving the page towards you when you turn around from your previous position of having your back facing him to lay your eyes on the drawing
“ here… thought you would like this, did it for you… ” ( his voice stays so quiet and soft as he speaks, not much different than usual of course, and there is such a strong sense of comfort lingering in there too! he just wants you to feel safe with him, he wants you to feel at peace with him )
✩ if it is a day where pelle has to leave your shared bedroom to rehearse with the rest of the band, he will try to kind of fight it off because he wants to stay with you and give you some company in the time where he is the only company that you do not mind but if you encourage him to go and rehearse with the band? if you tell him to not stay with you just because you are feeling like this and promise him that you will just try to get some sleep when he is gone? he will probably listen to you, just because he trusts you…
- but he will leave you with a soft kiss on the head gentle squeeze to your hand, along with a quiet whisper about how he will be back soon! he never does great at these rehearsals though because just knowing that you are not feeling great makes him not feel all too good either, it just puts him in kind of an even more standoffish mood than he usually is already in and puts a bit of a damper his performance but no one else in the band is ever too upset about this because they just know why it is happening and they know that if you are not feeling too good, pelle will never feel much better either and in some strange ways? they actually quite respect it and often cut his section of rehearsals short so that he can just get back to you, no point in rehearsing with him if he is not his usual self
✩ if it is an especially bad day but you are talking to pelle and telling him about how much you want to go out but how you are just kind of afraid? this is when he will usually actually try to encourage you quite a bit!
- obviously, he will not push and shove, he will not get overly pushy with his encouragement nor will he just keep on going and going! his encouragement is very soft and gentle, he is very patient and quiet as he asks if maybe just a walk in the surrounding woodland would be nice… so that then, you would see no other people aside from maybe his band mates just as you leave the shared house but you would still be getting some fresh air and you would still be getting out of the house
“ do you want to go out into the woods? no one else will be there… don’t have to worry about anyone… i’ll come with you, unless you don’t want me to… ” ( that last part makes you laugh quietly because of course you want him to come, which in turn makes a little smile crawl across his pale face at the sound of your laugh )
✩ and these woodland walks are always just as good for you as he thinks they would be! he sees the way your face ever so slightly relaxes and softens after the two of you have been walking for a little while, he hears the way your breathing becomes steady and calm when your brain realises that it is definitely just the two of you out here…
- funnily enough, sometimes after being on these little forest walks with pelle, you do not even want to leave and go back to the shared house! just earlier that day, you could not bare the thought of leaving the house at all but now? you almost do not want to leave the forest at all… it is just so quiet and peaceful for you, you know that you are alone with pelle and neither of you talk all that much so you walk in a comfortable silence filled in by birds chirping and twigs snapping under your feet… the forest brings such comfort to both you and pelle, it fills both of you with a sense of home and serenity! so when you ask pelle if you can just sit for a while instead of walking back to the house? he nods right away before gesturing for you to sit back against one of the larger trees with him
✩ with the two of you sitting back against a tree, the slow growing peace in your mind only moves faster and you take the move to lay your head down against his shoulder, appreciating the comforting silence before breaking it to mumble up to pelle about how sorry you are, how terrible it feels to be so ridden with such a fear of people and social interaction, how much you love him for treating you so well… you almost miss the way his breath stops in his chest as he hears you talk about it, you do miss the way his eyes dart down to you with a look of pure love and an obvious wish to tell you how perfect you are to him… he speaks up once you have finished speaking about your struggles, staying quiet yet there is a sense of both softness and firmness in his voice as he speaks to you
“ not your fault, you don’t have to be sorry, not at all… i love you too, so much… ” ( times with you are the times that pelle wishes he was so much better with his words than he actually is, he wishes he could tell you so much more about how you do not have anything to be sorry for and about how he could never even think about treating you any other way… he wishes he was better with speaking but he knows that later? he will get it all out to you in the form of a handwritten letter )
- obviously, you do not see any major issue with what he says at all! you know more than anyone that he is not the greatest with his words and even then, you appreciate what he says more than anything! everything he says to you always feels so real and so genuine, everything he says to you always sounds so full of love and trueness… it makes your cheeks warm up as you press your face further down against his shoulder and you smile when you feel him lean his head down on your own before bringing his cold hand down and taking yours in his, giving it three soft squeezes as the two of you sit at peace in the forest
✩ the forest is always a peaceful place for the two of you! it almost feels like your true home, both of you are so content and calm when in the forest and you have definitely fell asleep whilst sitting against a tree and being held in each others comforting arms more than once…
- but i say that is enough of the real bad days, right? let me go into more of the lighter stuff
✩ pelle is not the type of person who is always hanging out with large groups of people at all so you do not have to worry about being dragged along to places that will definitely make your anxiety spike
- most of the time? his time is usually spent deep in the forest, inside of the shared band house or at the hen house for some rehearsals! and none of these places ever particularly make your anxiety spike up at all! you live with him in the shared band house and are quite comfortable around his band mates, and the henhouse? well, you do not always join him there but when you do? it is never all that bad for you! pelle makes sure to make it known to you that if you need some air, you are more than welcome to step outside or even shoot him a sneaky little signal to tell him that you would like to leave… and if you do not feel comfortable being on the camera that is sometimes recording their rehearsals, he tells the cameraman to just keep you out of frame! all pelle ever wants is for you to feel safe and comfortable, he makes sure that you are safe and comfortable the best he can
✩ despite the fact that you deal with some social anxiety, you obviously want to and love to support pelle and the rest of mayhem at their concerts! even if it takes quite a while to build up the confidence and the strength to go, there are very few times that you have not attended to support your partner in what he loves doing so much and pelle appreciates it so much…
- obviously, there are very few times that you think you could handle being in the crowd! the thought of being pushed up so close to other people, so many strangers nonetheless, puts you off big time so most of the time? pelle and the rest of the band make sure that you are safe and comfortable back stage! pelle makes sure that you are safe and comfortable just standing off to the side of the stage but also makes sure to tell you that you can always go further into the back if you get more anxious and want some privacy along with some space to breath
“ hey… show is about to start, will you be okay here? you can go back into the changing room if you need to… love you ” ( whilst pelle is checking on you making sure that you will definitely be fine, øystein usually approaches from behind and gives you a comforting but quick pat on the back along with a soft smile! he is a decent person and even he appreciates your support for the band, as your friend he wants you to be comfortable there just as much as pelle does )
✩ seeing you cheering him on from the side of the stage fills pelle with such a sense of pride and genuine happiness in his performance! he always performs the absolute best he possibly can when you are there on the side of the stage! just knowing how much preparation this took for you, how out there this is for you, how much of a big step this is for you… it makes him so proud, it makes him want to put on the best show just for you… he almost does not even see everyone else in the building, he almost does not even see the small crowd in front of him, he almost does not even hear their yells and screams… all he really sees and all he really focuses on is you, he is almost constantly looking over towards you and making sure that you are okay, he always feels a strong heat rush over his corpse paint covered cheeks when you smile at him and send him a little thumbs up…
- and after the concert has finished? when he is able to leave the small stage and return back to his favourite place of being right by your side as the two of you get ready to leave in the private changing room? he is always so quick to wrap one lanky arm you before leaning down and giving you a lingering kiss on the cheek, bringing one of his cold hands down to hold yours as he tells you how well you did
“ you did good, you know that? you did so good… so proud of you, thank you for staying so long… ” ( his voice is quiet as he speaks but so full of honesty and real appreciation as well as true pride for you, the times he speaks the most is always to you )
✩ parties at the shared band house are also common but not overly common! and when they do happen, pelle is always stuck by your side! he kind of really dislikes parties just as much as you do so both of you will often high tail it out of there very quickly
- when you just want to get away from all of the people and the loud noises, pelle will usually make the first move! he sees your anxious movements, he sees the way you are attempting to distract yourself by playing with the hair tie that sits around your wrist, he sees the way you are keeping your eyes glued to the ground and avoiding any eye contact, he sees the way you are backing away into the darkest corner of the room in an attempt to disappear from view and he is quick to take action without drawing any attention to the two of you!
✩ pelle will usually just grab your hand in his and gesture his head towards the stairs or towards the back door of the house, leading you to wherever you nod towards whilst keeping his hand still wrapped securely around your own! the fact that your hands get ever so slightly sweaty from your nerves and anxiousness? he does not mind it one bit… not when there are more important things to focus on…
- if you just gesture to go upstairs with him, he will lead you upstairs! walking straight past people as they move aside to make way for his much taller and more noticeable frame, his taller and overshadowing frame also helps to hide you from other people who may look towards him which you are obviously thankful for! when the two of you are inside of your shared bedroom, pelle will lock the door behind him to make sure than no one can get in and to muffle the loud music vibrating through the speakers downstairs… he will sit beside you on the mattress on the floor as you catch your breath, even getting up to open the window if he feels like some fresh air coming inside could help you even more! his hand might come to your knee and he will draw gentle patterns with his slim fingers, hoping that the feeling of things being drawn on your knee will help to distract your mind from the anxiety and give you something else to focus on! which usually does work… your focus will often shift over to trying to recognise what pattern he is drawing on your knee, smiling when you recognise his drawing as a heart or some kind of symbol! and when he sees that little smile on your face? and he hears your breathing grow steadier and even out? this only encourages him to draw more patterns, especially when you lean your head down on his shoulder to watch the stars through the small bedroom window whilst smiling at the feeling of him drawing all different things on your knee… the feeling of his fingers smoothing over your knee, the sound of his steady breaths and the sight of the stars shining through the glass pane window is enough to lull you into a calm sleep with your head still resting comfortably against his shoulder and his fingers only still in their place on your knee once he has placed a soft kiss on your head and drifted into a short sleep of his own
✩ but if you gesture towards the back door of the shared band house instead of the stairs, the two of you will just do what you usually do! you will wander into the forest hand in hand before stopping and settling down against a tree, the smell of fresh night air and crunchy autumn leaves filling your senses as you catch your breath with the soft help and encouragement of pelle who holds your hand in his and gives it reassuring squeezes every couple of seconds! the two of you will sit under the dark night sky that is filled with sparkling stars, against the rough brown bark of a thick tree in a comfortable silence that is only broken by pelle who only breaks it to mumble some quiet words of love and encouragement down to you
“ you did good… it’s better out here anyway, i prefer being out here with you than in there with them… ” ( that statement alone makes your heart swell with love and even without looking, you can tell just by the way that his voice slightly shakes and quivers that pelle is red as a rose when he says it! no matter how much the two of you reveal to each other, no matter how long the two of you have been together, pelle will always get so shy and flustered when telling you sweet things like that )
- either way, wherever you are and wherever choose to go, pelle is good at getting you out of a situation that you do not want to be in! he has no problem with swooping you away to somewhere a little more peaceful and a lot more private… he would really rather that you do not see him when he is drunk as a skunk anyways…
✩ whenever you are tired after a day that was filled with quite a bit of social interaction, pelle has no issue with you taking a long nap on your shared mattress! even if it is the middle of the day and not a time when you should really be sleeping, he knows that your mind and body could really just do with a rest and has no problem with it at all! he will sit beside you on the springy mattress and draw or write lyrics whilst you nap beside him, not moving an inch when your body instinctively nestles into him in your sleep… instead, he takes this chance of you getting closer to him to study your sleeping face as your expression is one of pure peace as he decides to draw you in his book…
- even when the two of you are in the depths of the forest, if you feel like taking a little nap, he will not hesitate to lay his black leather jacket down on the leaf littered floor for you to lay upon and will bring his cold hand down to trace his thin fingers along the skin of your arm before getting up to search for bones or any other interesting forest items not more than five feet away from you!
✩ in short, he does not mind you taking a nap when you feel socially worn out and tired! if anything, it makes him feel so good to know that you are comfortable enough to fall asleep around him, to fall asleep on him…
- pelle is not a huge fan of pda at all but if you are ever in a public space and he sees you digging your nails into your palm in an attempt to distract yourself from the arising anxiety you feel crawling up inside of you? he will never stop himself from taking one of your hands in his and giving it a firm squeeze, a firm squeeze of reassurance and love, a firm squeeze that is meant to tell you that everything is okay and that he is right there beside you
✩ if there is anything pelle hates the most in his life, it is seeing you hurting and suffering, it is seeing you be uncomfortable and it is seeing you purposely hurting yourself! and so he will hold one of your hands in his whilst looking down at you with soft eyes before telling you to squeeze his hand instead, to use his hand as a distraction and he tells you to tap his palm three times if your anxiety gets to the worst point it can be at and you just want to leave! he will not blink an eye if you grip his hand like a vice and accidentally dig your nails into his pale skin, that type of pain is kind of nothing to him and as much as he feels it, it does not affect him! when you do calm your mind and notice the small crescent marks you have left in your hand, you are quick to apologise but pelle just shakes his head and takes your hand back into his, assuring you that it is just fine… knowing that holding his hand makes you feel calmer and more at peace fills pelle with such a sense of purpose, you fill his life with such purpose…
- one of the best things about dating pelle as a socially anxious person is that you never ever feel pressured to speak around him!
✩ pelle himself is a very quiet and not a too talkative person at all, he kind of appreciates silence and is never uncomfortable in silence! so he is never one of those people who tries so hard to get you to talk and engage in conversation when you obviously are not feeling up to it! he knows better than anyone to just leave you be or to just have a one sided conversation with you whilst knowing that you are listening to him but just cannot really respond
- at the start of the relationship and even before the two of you began dating too, pelle was probably a little afraid when you sometimes did not respond to him when he spoke to you but he very quickly realised that it was just a social anxiety thing and not an uncomfortable or generally rude thing, especially when you apologised to him and explained it to him one day! he was never all too bothered by your lack of response anyways but hearing your explanation definitely helped to soothe some of his nerves that perhaps he made you uncomfortable and he appreciates you opening up to him about it a whole lot! the fact that you felt comfortable enough to tell him of all people about your social anxiety made his heart beat faster in his chest and his adoration of you grow even more
✩ his band mates have probably asked about you in this way too after attempting to make some conversation with you only for you to widen your eyes and get very obviously nervous! they were never annoyed at this either, they just wondered what was with it and asked pelle if you had issues or something, to which he gives a blunt yet almost protective response
“ oh… sometimes they just don’t like talking… so don’t push them… ” ( his voice is almost freakishly firm and telling when he tells them to not push you, it is clear through his voice alone that he is telling them to not push you, he is not asking them to not push you! his protectiveness over you is clear to everyone in the band )
- pelle knows that just because you have social anxiety, that does not mean that you want to be lonely and just be completely ignored by people! as much as you often find it hard to engage in conversation and such, he makes sure to never treat you as if you are just not there at all and he makes sure you know that he sees you and he appreciates how much effort you are always putting in to try and get better with your social anxiety
✩ the same goes for his band mates too! once they know about your issues with social anxiety, they never push you to engage in conversation with them but they also never just ignore you and see right through you whenever you cross paths in the house! they will always give you a quiet greeting in the mornings or even just send you a small and friendly wave when you pass by them! pelle never wants you to feel alone because of your social anxiety and tries his absolute best to make sure that those feelings of being unseen and alone never overtake you…
- pelle is very protective of you in general, but when you are dealing with a bit of social anxiety? that protectiveness triples so quickly! and anyone who dares to make a mean spirited comment about your social anxiety is always faced with the glares of his band members as well as the threatening voice of pelle as he tells them to leave whilst trying his absolute hardest to hold himself back from smashing the nearest beer bottle over their head and killing them with the sharp glass shards <3