Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“This is just how it has to be,” Alpha said, setting down his drink. Charlie watched his hands tighten around the glass. Tonight, he was dressed in a maroon blazer with matching pants. He wore his black glasses instead of wearing his contacts. He looked handsome as he usually did. It made everything worse. “What do you have to say?” 

“Huh?” Charlie dryly said. He brushed away a loose hair that had fallen on his face. “What do you want me to s-say?”

Alpha just looked back at him, clearly lost in a response. This is far from what Charlie expected when Alpha invited him to their favorite bar. He had a feeling it was going to be something important. He thought Alpha would ask him to be his boyfriend. Hell, maybe he even wanted them to talk about moving in with each other. They have been friends for almost four years and have been closer than that this past year. Charlie wasn’t getting younger, and they stayed over at each other's places enough that it would not be that big of a jump for them. 

“Look,” Alpha finally broke the silence, removing his glasses and putting them on the table. “If the world was different, I would love to have something with you. You’re so fucking important-”

“But?” Charlie interrupted biting his lip in embarrassment.  

“I want a normal life,” Alpha continued.

Charlie flinched at the word ‘normal’. He knew he was abnormal. He was a hardcore dedicated vegan. He was an immigrant with a funny accent. He weirded people out with how anxious he got over the stupidest things. He would always get stares and comments about how he had to wear an eye patch because of his disfigurement.

Since he was younger, he hated the parts of himself that made him stick out.  He was terrified of being with someone like Alpha who seemed so perfect, handsome, and confident about himself. But Alpha always reassured him that the parts of him that were different were something he loved. It made Charlie start to love those parts as well.

Guess those feelings were only temporary though. 

“Oh…” Charlie choked. 

 “My mom keeps lecturing me about how I’m not getting younger. She wants me to meet this girl, the daughter of one of her friends. She wants us to be arranged together,” Alpha explained.

So that’s what it was. He wanted to be straight. Straight and normal.

Charlie fought between feeling sad and wanting to laugh at the notion of Alpha dating a girl. He couldn't help but to recall how a few months ago, Alpha said that women were unappealing, and he was grateful that he was with a man.

“Have you met h-her…” Charlie said while sipping his drink wishing there was more alcohol in it. He didn’t know if he should force himself to be happy for Alpha. He didn’t know what Alpha wanted anymore.

“Once briefly.”

“And I bet your mom wants you to have grandkids too huh? You’re going to be a d-dad! Haha,” Charlie attempted to show playfulness, but he failed to lighten up the situation as Alpha only frowned back.

“Well, I should. Being with her is the best for the course of my life. I have a lot of responsibilities and goals that I need to achieve,” Alpha nodded.

Alpha was studying to be a lawyer. And Alpha always talked about how hard it was going to be in the business of being known as the “gay asian lawyer.” If people found out, it could mean that they would not take him seriously. As much as Charlie cringed at Alpha’s problematic statement of identifying himself, he knew he was right. The city that they lived in had a mixture of opinions on the topic of equality. Some places like the bar that they were in now were a safe space while in some places in the city, you had to be more careful.

“Anything else to add? Charlie sighed.

“Anything else? What do you...? Um you know I have been attending that youth group. It made me question us more. I guess…” Alpha tapped on the table rocking. Charlie assumed he was tired of their conversation and wanted to move on.

“Okay,” Charlie shrugged, looking towards a wall. He hated that religious group that Alpha had shown an interest in recently. He always knew Alpha was somewhat religious. He never knew what to say to him when he would have a random spike of doubt if what they had together was morally okay.     

“Okay?” Alpha crossed his arms. “That’s it?”

Charlie's face twitched involuntarily looking back towards Alpha. “What do you want me to say? I’m shocked. Did you always plan to do this eventually?”

“No,” Alpha said. “Look. This is awful for me too.”

“Then why-?”

“Like I said my mom has been getting on my ass. It has caused me to take a step back and look at what I wanted for my life and Charlie my god have you seen the reality of it? Choosing this will make my life much more difficult. It is choosing life on hard mode!”

“It’s not so bad,” Charlie mumbled under his breath, not believing his own words. 

“I don't want to worry about holding the hand of the person I love every time I go out. And I don't want to deal with having to come out every time I meet someone new,” Alpha’s hands gestured dramatically. “Also, what if they are right about how this is a sin?” 

“I know it's hard, but it will be okay if we do this together,” Charlie weakly cracked. He thought about grabbing his hand but refused to do so because he knew it was pointless. When Alpha decided to do something, it was final. He couldn't stand another rejection right now. 

“Just last week we got screamed at and we weren't even doing anything together! I don’t admit things like this often Charles, but it made me scared. I’m not someone who gets scared. I could not sleep that night.” 

“Fuck, I knew that bothered you…” 

“Yes… I can’t do it. Please understand. I don’t feel comfortable anymore. I'm tired of feeling that way. I need to choose what is best for me,” Alpha pleaded placing a hand on Charlie’s shoulder. He forced deep eye contact.

Charlie’s heart stung as he reached up to place his hand over Alpha’s.

If Charlie was brave, he would have argued for their relationship.

He would have pointed out how Alpha was being a hypocrite in saying he wanted an easier life. Alpha usually would say that he loved to face challenges in life.

He wanted to point out how Alpha was always going to be uncomfortable, even if he was going to marry a woman. That he was always going to be gay no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

He wanted to scream and keep Alpha to himself.

But at the end of the day, Charlie just felt defeated and sad. He wasn’t going to do anything.  

Alpha was choosing not to love him. And he had to accept that. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way about us,” Charlie squeezed his eye shut. He was proud of himself for not crying yet. At least Alpha helped him to control his emotions during their time together. He needed to keep his tears from his bed. 

“Please understand that none of this is your fault. You are amazing. But we must stay just friends. I want you to still be my friend. I do love you.” 

“Okay,” Charlie wasn't sure if he wanted to continue being friends. But he knew making that decision right now was stupid.

“Yes. Yes. Perfect,” Alpha ran his hands through his hair.  “When should we meet again? Maybe next-”

“Hold on,” Charlie suddenly felt a sense of urgency. Even before they had this thing together, they had been meeting up with each other at least once a week. So, Charlie understood Alpha’s natural habit to plan for next time. But Charlie couldn't do that right now. His heart was too broken. “No. I need time. I need time away from you to feel better about this.”

“OH,” Alpha chuckled nervously. “Of course.” 

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said feeling ridiculous apologizing again. He wished that Alpha would apologize. 

Alpha just stared back. 

Charlie wanted to run. So, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a wad of cash. It was more than the number of drinks they ordered. But Charlie could care less as he set it down on the table.

“Sorry, I can't be here anymore. Thank you for finally making your decision about us.”

“Wait! You don’t have to do that-” Alpha scrambled picking up the money. A few dollars fell to the ground. 

“Goodbye Al,” Charlie spat out backing quickly away. I’ll text you when I feel better.” 

He turned around with his head down rushing out of the bar.

In a fantasy world, Alpha would have chased after him saying that all he said tonight was a mistake. But Charlie wasn't living in that world.

No one came after him.

Charlie laid on his back, tangled in the sheets, staring blankly at the ceiling as the weight of his thoughts pressed down on him. His apartment felt like a prison, each hour dragging into the next as the storm of depression consumed him. 

The only things that got him up were necessity and habit. Bathroom breaks. A cigarette or a blunt when the restlessness became unbearable. Work, because he had to, though he barely functioned there. Clock in, keep his head down, say as little as possible, and leave the moment his shift was over. Then it was straight back here, back to his bed, back to the crushing silence.

It was pathetic.

But no matter how much he tried to bury the memories; they clawed their way back. Alpha’s rejection replayed in his head like a broken record.

And it didn’t help that, despite telling Alpha he needed space, the messages kept coming. Long ones, too—paragraphs at a time.

Charlie ignored them. He told himself it was for the best.

He knew isolating himself wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with this. Ideally, he should be out, keeping busy, surrounding himself with friends. But that was the thing—he didn’t have friends. Or at least he didn’t have any friends that he could talk to about this situation.

Even back in Croatia, it had just been him and Clementine. His sister had always been his anchor, the one constant in his life. But now, here, alone in his apartment, he felt like he was drifting, sinking into a place he wasn’t sure he could pull himself out of.

His sister wasn’t an option right now. He texted her occasionally but now wasn’t the time to bring up Alpha.

Besides, talking to her was already difficult with the time difference. And even if it weren’t, he wasn’t in the mood to hear her say, I told you so. Clementine had never trusted Alpha—she always claimed there was something off about him, that he seemed disingenuous. Charlie didn’t want to hear that right now.

More than anything, he felt guilty. If he told her what happened, she’d worry. And she had enough on her plate already. She was busy planning her tour, her dream finally within reach, and the last thing he wanted was to drag her down with his mess.

If she dropped everything to check on him, he’d never forgive himself.

The only other person Charlie considered a friend was someone he couldn’t talk to either.

That person was Beta. One of Alpha’s younger brothers.

Beta was everything Alpha wasn’t. Laid-back, unconventional, completely unbothered by expectations. With his tattoos, piercings, and grunge-inspired outfits, he had no real ambitions beyond just existing. While Alpha took everything seriously and obsessed over perfection, Beta drifted through life like he had all the time in the world. Charlie liked hanging out with him. Beta’s humor, his carefree attitude, it was a refreshing contrast to everyone else in his life.

But as much as Charlie appreciated him, it felt wrong to confide in him now.

Beta was still Alpha’s brother.

As much as Charlie hated to admit it, their friendship only existed because of Alpha. Over time, Beta had started to feel like a stepbrother to him—someone who just happened to come with the package of being close to Alpha. And now that he and Alpha were… whatever they were, Charlie couldn’t help but wonder if that meant losing Beta too.

Beta didn’t even know about him and Alpha. He had never told him. Maybe Beta had figured it out, but if he had, he never mentioned it.

And now Charlie was going to have to explain it. The thought made his stomach turn.

Beta was away right. He was attending an art university in London. 

Charlie sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe he should just cut them both out of his life. It would be easier. No more reminders of what he couldn’t have.

Charlie sighed and rubbed his face, trying to shake off the heaviness weighing him down. He needed to move , to do something , anything that didn’t involve lying in bed and letting his thoughts consume him.

He pushed himself up, his muscles aching from disuse, and sat on the edge of the bed. Everything felt stiff, sluggish. Even the air in his apartment felt suffocating.

I need to get out.

His mind scrambled for ideas, searching for something that didn’t remind him of Alpha. But the more he thought about it, the worse it got. Most of the things he used to enjoy were things he had done with Alpha. Even the stupid, mundane things like grabbing coffee, walking around aimlessly, and sitting in the car listening to music all had traces of him.

Charlie gritted his teeth and forced the memories away.

He needed something different. Somewhere he could be around people but still be alone. Somewhere loud enough to drown out his thoughts but dark enough that no one would care about him sulking in the corner.

A bar.

That was an idea. Though he and Alpha would attend bars frequently, Charlie was someone who always loved going to bars even before knowing Alpha. Alcohol was a passion for him.

Charlie exhaled sharply and stood up, already reaching for his jacket. Alcohol wouldn’t fix anything, but at least it would take the edge off. Just for tonight. Just long enough to make everything a little more bearable.

He avoided looking around the bar, afraid that making eye contact would invite unwanted conversations. Instead, he slid onto a stool and faced the bartender—a beautiful girl with dark, curly hair. Forcing a small smile, he ordered a rum and Coke.

As he sipped his drink, his gaze locked onto the televisions playing various sports. He didn’t care about American sports, but thankfully, one screen was showing football from the World Cup. That was something.

Maybe coming out tonight was pointless—he could just drink at home like he had been all week. But drinking at home had only made him feel worse. At least here, there was noise. Laughter, conversations buzzing, the clinking of glasses. A poor distraction, but a distraction, nonetheless.

Charlie took another sip, letting the warmth of the rum settle in his chest. He wasn’t even invested in the teams playing, but focusing on the movement of the ball—the precise passes, the way the players sprinted across the field—was easier than thinking about why he was here.

He exhaled, rolling his shoulders back. This is fine. I’m fine.

“Charlie?” A familiar voice cut through the noise. 

Charlie flinched at his name being said. He looked over and met eyes with the youngest of Alpha’s brothers. 

Senpai.  

His strawberry-blonde hair was a wild mess, and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned. He held an empty glass of beer in his hand.  His bright blue eyes stared back at him in confusion. Charlie wondered how he had not noticed him sooner.

"Are you okay?" Sen slurred, squinting at him. "You look so different unshaven."

Charlie swallowed, caught off guard. "Y-yeah," he mumbled, suddenly self-conscious. He ran a hand over his face, trying to remember the last time he’d bothered to shave.

He couldn't remember ever having a one-on-one conversation with Sen—much less a drunk Sen.

Charlie didn’t know much about him. From what he had observed, Sen was a mix of both Alpha and Beta, and he couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing. Most of what he knew came from Alpha’s offhanded remarks, which were rarely positive. Alpha admitted that Sen was friendly and had a good sense of style, but beyond that, his criticisms were sharp—Sen was immature and loud, much like Beta, but with an even worse temper. Alpha had once told him that Sen used to get suspended for getting into heated arguments, sometimes even throwing around slurs.

Charlie shifted in his seat, uneasy. He never knew what to expect from Sen.

“You sure?” Sen frowned.

“Y-yes,” Charlie sipped his drink turning away from him. “Just enjoying a night out.”  

Charlie felt the presence of Sen behind him. His heart started beating faster when he felt him sit beside him. Charlie stayed silent keeping his eyes on the screen. 

“Is Alpha here with you?” Sen asked looking around.

“We aren't always t-together!” Charlie panicked spinning around towards him. He cringed internally regretting not being able to control his tone.   

“Woah, woah!” Sen held his hands up defensively. He then hiccupped. “It’s okay. There is nothing wrong with spending time with your boyfriend.” 

Charlie's hands started to shake at those words.

“OH fuck,” Sen’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud ha-ha. But it’s okay.”

“Wait,” Charlie wheezed. The only person who knew about Alpha was his sister, besides her, they had never come out to anyone, especially Alpha’s family. “You must be mistaken. We’re just f-friends.”

Which was true now.

“Come on you can’t fool me. It’s obvious. Beta knows too.”

“Fuck,” Charlie put his head on the table and put his arms over it. “Beta knows too?”

“Yeah, he wanted you to come out on your own time” Sen rolled his eyes. “We know because Alpha doesn’t shut up about you. It’s adorable. Both of us don’t care. We’re happy that Alpha can find someone that tolerates him.”

“Sen…” Charlie's face flushed.

Sen paused.

“But wait. You’re alone? Why aren’t you together tonight?”

Charlie didn’t answer. Why didn’t Sen have enough social awareness that he wanted to be left alone? Maybe it was because he was drunk. No. He would do this even if he was sober.

“Oh no, did something happen? Now that I think about it, the last time I talked to Alpha, he seemed quieter than usual.”

“Mm,” Charlie chugged his drink. 

“Did you break up…?” Sen asked without a care. 

“MMM!” Charlie groaned. 

"Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Sen frowned. “Did you break up with him, or did he break up with you? Should I congratulate you? Wait… you wouldn’t be sad if that were the case. But I guess you could still be sad even if you were the one who ended it."

“Can you stop talking to me?” Charlie breathed out, surprised at his own words. 

Sen stared back at him stupidly. “What… why?”

"I don’t want to talk about Alpha with you," Charlie mumbled. Not only did he not want to discuss it in general, but he especially didn’t want to talk about it with someone related to him.

This interaction made him realize the difference between Senpai and Beta. Beta appreciated silence and knew when to stop asking questions. If anything, Sen was acting more like Alpha—someone who couldn’t read the room and didn’t know when to shut up. Charlie hated when people pushed him to talk when he didn’t feel like it.

"Okay… but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Mental health is important, and part of that is not isolating yourself. You must talk about your feelings instead of holding them in, or you’ll end up exploding. I learned that in college. By the way, I’m graduating this year—you should come. Though to be honest, the ceremony is going to be boring."

“Sen…” Charlie huffed in frustration. He wondered if Sen even knew what he was talking about with how intoxicated he was.

“But wait… Alpha is going to be there, so I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Sen continued, ignoring Charlie's attempts to stop him from talking.  “Never mind. We hate Alpha. He’s not so amazing you know. He acts like he is, but he isn’t. I’m so sorry he broke your heart. I shouldn’t leave you, Chuck! Also… I don’t want to be alone either. My friends ditched me tonight, so I am happy to see a familiar face now and hang out with-” 

“S-STOP!” Charlie rubbed his face in frustration. “PLEASE leave me alone… I’m sorry to say this but I’m starting to get annoyed at you. No, I’m getting pissed! YOU’RE a-annoying!” 

Sen’s mouth shut tight.

Charlie covered his mouth in shock. He immediately felt a sense of dread and embarrassment at his misdirected anger. He looked around and saw a group of people staring at him. He turned away in shame. He hesitantly looked over to Sen's shocked face, and his heart sank.

But before he could apologize, Sen let out a loud laugh.  

“HAHA! OH my god! Didn’t expect that from you.” 

“W-what?” Charlie frowned. “I’m s-sorry?”  

“It’s fine! This is so funny! You’re always so soft-spoken and sweet. It’s interesting to see you snap. Do it again!” 

“Seriously? No! That wasn’t okay! I’m sorry that I did that,” Charlie shook his head.

"Charlie, stop apologizing! I get it," Sen reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I’ve heard so much worse in my life."

"That doesn’t make it right… You weren’t doing anything wrong by talking to me. I just came here to be alone, and I haven't been feeling the best lately. That’s why I snapped."

"Obviously." Sen removed his hand and gave a small wave. "I’m not doing the best right now either. That’s why I’m here—to forget."

"You’re sad? Why?" Charlie raised an eyebrow, assuming Sen was just partying.

"My girlfriend broke up with me too," Sen admitted looking down. "So, I don’t think we should be alone—now that we’re here together."

Charlie wasn’t surprised to learn that Sen had been dumped. He’d often hear gossip from Alpha about Sen’s relationship drama. His longest relationship had only lasted about four months. As immature as he saw Sen, he couldn’t blame him too much for that. Throughout his life, Charlie had dealt with crappy relationships, and before Alpha, his experiences had been like Sen’s.

“I’m sorry about that,” Charlie said. “How long were you two together?”

“Two weeks? I don’t know,” Sen shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I knew we weren’t right for each other. I’m fine. I’ll find someone so much hotter and better than her.”

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said, looking Sen up and down. He seemed so defeated and small now, so different from the energetic person he was just moments ago. Charlie hated seeing others down, and there was no way he’d push Sen away because of it. Though he still wanted silence, he had to admit it might be best for them to stick together tonight. Charlie smiled. “Y-you’re not going to leave me alone even if I ask, are you?”

“Of course not,” Sen said with a smile, reaching over to pat Charlie’s back. “You’re a friend in need.”

“Are we friends?” Charlie tilted his head. He’d always thought Sen wasn’t interested in talking to him. Was Sen talking to him now because he was the only one here, he knew? Or had he always been curious about him but never had the chance to start a personal conversation? Maybe he’d felt like he didn’t stand a chance with how close Charlie was with his older brothers.

“Yes, of course, we are,” Sen chuckled. But his expression quickly turned serious. “Plus, like I said, the friends I came with ditched me. Sooo…”

“Oh, y-yeah...” Charlie sighed.

He felt a sudden tinge of insecurity, realizing he was right—Sen was only talking to him because he was the only familiar person around. If he had the choice, he’d probably be with his friends instead. Charlie pushed the feeling down, hoping it wouldn’t get in the way of the conversation. Why should he care so much? Just moments ago, he wanted Sen to go away—he had no right to be upset.

“Why did they do that?” Charlie asked hoping that their conversation could continue.

“They said they had ‘work tomorrow’,” Sen rolled his eyes. “Ugh, what losers. But hey, with them gone, I finally get to spend more time with you. I’d choose you over them any day. So, I guess it all worked out.”

“OH!” Charlie felt his face start to warm. “I’m glad you are here w-with me too.”

“I’m glad you changed your mind! I thought you were going to bite my head off earlier.”

“Maybe I still will if you d-don’t behave,” Charlie tried to wink but then drunkenly realized Sen would just register that as him blinking. He groaned internally at himself but then chuckled.

He needed to push away these negative thoughts about Sen. Just because Sen knew him didn’t mean he was only talking to him out of convenience. Charlie was pretty sure that if Sen wanted to ditch him to chat up some random pretty girl, he would. But he hadn’t. Sen genuinely wanted to make sure he was okay. He was choosing to talk to him.

That was so sweet.

They both ordered some more beers as they watched the television screen together. They barely exchanged any words. Sen drummed his fingers against the counter before reaching over to tap Charlie, trying to get his attention. Charlie turned towards him raising an eyebrow. 

“Sooo… you don’t have to tell me, but I can’t help being curious and worried about what happened. Alpha didn’t say shit to me.”

“Ugh,” Charlie sighed, debating on what to do. As much as he didn’t feel like explaining, he knew Sen wouldn’t drop it until he got an answer. And honestly, he’d rather Sen hear it from him than from Alpha. “Okay, fine. I’ll give you the short version.”

“Oh, goody!” Sen grinned, leaning his head on his arm.

“Your brother wants to be straight, so he had to say goodbye to what we had,” Charlie closed his eye. His heart squeezed again remembering everything. 

“That doesn't surprise me. Our mom has been talking to him about this girl,” Sen frowned. “Alpha is the most confident hypocrite that I have ever met.”

“I know what you mean,” Charlie pushed the empty glass away from himself. “Is it okay that we don’t talk about this anymore?”

“For sure. I was just curious,” Sen pointed to the glass. “Do you want me to buy you a drink?”

“No, I'm okay. This is my last one. I want to close my tab.” 

“Aww, you’re no fun! You’re not even tipsy.”

“I am… a little bit. I just… drinks never affect me that much.”

“It’s because you’re a big guy. Sorry, I am not calling you fat. I mean you’re just,” Sen waved his hands around. “Fluffy and tall. Beefy.” 

“I get it Sen.”

"I'm not tipsy either," Sen slurred. "HEY! You know this bar is a great place to pick up HOT chicks. You like those too, don’t you? You’re bi-curious or something."

"Bisexual…"

"Yeah, that," Sen snapped his fingers. "That's why I came here tonight."

"Oh, cool." Charlie wanted to ask—if that was the case, why was he talking to him? But he didn’t, afraid of the answer Sen would come up with.

"Trust me, Charlie, you’re going to find someone so much better than stick-up-the-ass Alpha. He’s awful. He’s mean, he’s full of himself... Also, he smokes."

"I smoke," Charlie said, hoping to change the subject.

“Ew. Stop that, you’re going to die.” Sen slapped his arm.

Charlie flinched, then looked Sen up and down, noticing how he was starting to sway and giggle.

“I think you’ve had too much tonight,” Charlie sighed, waving towards the waiter. He’d seen Sen completely shit-faced before, and it wasn’t pretty. “I’ll pay for your tab.”

“No, no, no! Come on, one more,” Sen whined, grabbing and squeezing Charlie’s arm.

“Stop it,” Charlie huffed, pushing him away.

The bartender came over, and thankfully, Sen didn’t whine as he closed both of their tabs. He even got Sen a water to go. Charlie chuckled to himself when he glanced at Sen’s tab—he hadn’t even ordered that many drinks. God, he was a lightweight, just like Alpha.

Sen sipped his water with a pout as he followed Charlie outside towards the entrance.   

"Um, how are y-you are getting home?" Charlie rubbed the side of his arm. Normally, he’d stay at the bar until he felt more sober, but he knew it was best for Sen to get home now—for his own good. And, honestly, Charlie wanted to get out of here, too.

Sen smirked as he pulled out his keys, wiggling them in the air.

"NO!" Charlie lunged to snatch them away.

"Come on, I do it all the time. Only got caught once, and the police officer was cool, so he let me off," Sen argued.

"We’re getting an Uber," Charlie said firmly, ignoring him. He went to sit down on a bench.

“Why can't you drive? You sound sober enough,” Sen sat next to him.

"I'm still drunk. Like I said, it doesn't affect me like it does you," Charlie argued. He probably could drive, and he would if he were alone. But he wasn’t in the mood to get pulled over with Sen by his side tonight.

Plus, he felt like he had the responsibility to be a good role model. He could only imagine how much shit he’d get from Alpha if he found out he drove with his brother while not being fully sober.

Charlie pulled out his phone, staring down at it stupidly as realization hit—he only had his flip phone. He had completely forgotten that any time he needed to order an Uber, he used Alpha's phone.

"HAAHAHA! What the fuck is that?" Sen laughed, pointing at the outdated device.

“I forgot… never mind.” Charlie closed his eye defeated. He was starting to get a headache.  “Give me your phone.” 

“Why?” Sen whined.

“I need to book us a ride home. I promise I’ll pay you back,” Charlie offered.

“AWW Charlie! You’re such a good guy,” Sen laughed. “But I don’t understand why you don’t have a normal phone.”

"It's better for me to have a cheaper phone. I tried having a smartphone before, but I kept breaking or losing it, so I gave up. I mainly use my computer at home," Charlie explained.

"That's weird. Just get a case or an Apple tag or something," Sen said, waving a hand dismissively.

"Apple tag… Uhm?” Charlie’s brain fought to remember what that was.

"How old are you anyway? " Sen asked while handing his phone over. "Because you’re acting like a grandpa right now."

"I'm twenty-nine," Charlie muttered, suddenly feeling self-conscious about hearing the number spoken out loud. He looked down at Sen’s unlocked phone and saw his face reflecting off it. It was flushed. 

"Oh my God, you're over the hill!" Sen teased before quickly waving his hands. "I'm joking, I'm joking. I date a lot of girls who are near their thirties. It’s a sign of my maturity. Older women are great."

Charlie blinked, unsure how that fact had anything to do with him.

“Wait… how old are you?" Charlie asked, suddenly trying to recall the age gap between Alpha and Sen.

"Twenty-one going on twenty-two," Sen laughed. "What? Are you worried that I used a fake ID to drink? I don’t have to do that anymore."

"No…" Charlie mumbled. He scrolled the phone as he talked, finding Sen’s Uber app. “Personally, your American drinking laws are rather silly. In my country, it’s eighteen. How are you allowed to fight for your lives in war but not have a Ožujsko.”

"I know, right? It sucks! I'm so jealous of other countries!" Sen yelled. "Apparently, in North Korea, it's eighteen too! What the fuck, America? You're making me want to live in North Korea!"

"Sen, shh!" Charlie held back laughter.

"I can legally say that! My mom is South Korean."

"That doesn't... W-what?" Charlie whispered. "Can you just please lower your voice?"

"Whatever! They hate hearing the truth!" Sen threw his arms up dramatically.

Charlie shook his head and turned his focus to scheduling a ride back to Sen’s place. Thankfully, it was accepted immediately.

"Our ride will be here in less than ten minutes," Charlie informed him.

Sen groaned. "Ugh, fine."

"Just let me know if you're going to be sick-"

"No!" Sen smirked. "Surprises are fun!"

Charlie sighed, rubbing his temple. "Sen, that's not the kind of surprise I want."

Sen grinned, swaying slightly. "You got to live a little, Charlie. Take some risks!"

"Yeah, I'll take my risks somewhere that doesn’t involve cleaning up after you," Charlie muttered, keeping an eye on the time.

Sen stretched his arms over his head and yawned. "You’re such a dad. Did Alpha rub off on you or something?"

Charlie huffed. "I think I just have common sense."

"Common sense is boring," Sen pouted.

"And cleaning puke off my shoes is disgusting," Charlie shot back. "So, if you're feeling sick, you tell me. Got it?"

Sen grinned mischievously.

"I'll let you know, Chuck. But don’t worry, I feel perfectly fine."

"That's good—"

"Especially since you're here with me! I regret not hanging out with you sooner. You're a great guy."

"Aw... thank you," Charlie murmured, looking away. He was enjoying his time with Sen. The chaotic energy reminded him of the fun, reckless nights he used to have with his sister as a teenager. But a tinge of guilt crept in—like he didn’t deserve to feel this good.

"Let’s make sure we get home safe, Senny."

Sen flashed him a wide, genuine smile. Charlie exchanged a smile back.

The Uber ride passed in a blur, and Charlie was grateful for that.

Sen, unusually silent, made Charlie a little uneasy. Every so often, he stole a glance at him, half-expecting some drunken rambling or signs of sickness, but Sen just stared out the window or scrolled through his phone looking unbothered.

At one point, Sen caught him looking and flashed a smile. Charlie quickly looked away, feeling oddly flustered.

As soon as they stepped out of the car, things took a turn for the worse—Sen’s legs turned to jelly. The moment he tried to walk, he stumbled, forcing Charlie to rush forward and catch him.

With no other choice, Charlie wrapped an arm around Sen to support him for the rest of the trip to his apartment. They staggered along, Sen laughing the whole way.

“Sen, for a little guy, you’re dead weight,” Charlie grunted. “You gotta work with me here!”

“SHHH. Don’t call me fat, you asshole,” Sen giggled.

When they finally reached the door, Charlie fumbled with Sen’s keys, struggling to unlock it while supporting Sen’s weight. His palms were sweaty, and his nerves only worsened every time Sen laughed at his failed attempts—whether it was missing the keyhole or dropping the keys altogether.

After what felt like forever, Charlie finally got the door open and helped Sen inside, guiding him gently onto the couch. With a tired sigh, he plopped down beside him, completely out of breath. He was beyond grateful that he’d managed to get Sen home safely.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Charlie glanced around Sen’s apartment. It was a typical bachelor pad—minimal decor, a bit cluttered, but nothing too out of the ordinary. From what he remembered, Sen lived alone now, still looking for a new roommate after his last one moved out following constant arguments. He only had a cat to keep him company. Charlie did not see the cat. 

Satisfied that Sen was settled, Charlie turned to check if he’d already passed out—only to find Sen staring right at him. His pupils were blown wide, his gaze locked onto Charlie.

“W-what?” Charlie stammered.

“Nothing,” He looked away shaking his head and smiling. “Just realized something.” 

“What did you realize?”

“Well,” Sen suddenly seemed nervous, his fingers fidgeting slightly. “I just noticed… you have freckles.”

“Uh… y-yeah?” Charlie raised an eyebrow, unsure where this was going.

“They’re adorable,” Sen whispered so softly that Charlie barely caught it.

A sudden warmth rushed to Charlie’s face. Was Sen…? No. That couldn’t be right. He’d always heard that he was completely straight. He had only ever seen him with girls.

And even if Sen was attracted to him… that wouldn’t be good. Not good at all.

Despite himself, in his drunken haze, Charlie couldn’t help but feel a little flattered. It had been a while since someone new flirted with him. Because his heart was set on Alpha.

But it all didn’t matter! He had to remember—Sen was Alpha’s family.

It was wrong. So wrong.

“We need to get you to bed,” Charlie said with a shrug, trying to shake off the moment.

“Mmmm,” Sen smiled. “Can you turn on the TV and put something on? I usually fall asleep out here more than in my bedroom.”

Charlie scattered around, searching for the remote before finally turning on the TV. It was set to some random reality show. He tossed the remote onto the table and nervously turned toward the tipsy man.

“I’m gonna head out—”

“Wait! Stay here! You can’t walk to the bar or your place from here. It’s too far!”

“Oh yeah… I might see if I can take the b-bus,” Charlie muttered, nervously cracking his knuckles. “Or can I borrow your phone again to—”

“Just stay the night. You can even have my bed.”

“I don’t—”

“At least sit down with me for a little bit, Chuck,” Sen pressed, patting the seat next to him. “Watch a movie with me and sober up. What’s the rush? It’s only ten o’clock.”

Charlie wanted to leave, but at the same time, exhaustion was creeping in. And as much as Sen wasn’t the ideal company, Charlie’s body welcomed the social interaction.

With a quiet sigh, he sat down next to Sen, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. Sen switched over to his Netflix account.

Well, Alpha’s Netflix account.

Charlie gulped.

“Don’t tell him I’m signed into this,” Sen chuckled as he mindlessly scrolled through the listings. “He’ll kill me.”

“Oh, d-don’t worry about it…”

They both fell silent as Sen selected some random comedy movie. As it played, Charlie could not focus on anything happening on the screen. The acting was horrible, and all the jokes fell flat.

Still, as he sank deeper into the couch, a sense of relaxation washed over him. It felt good to finally sit down. Sen’s couch was surprisingly comfortable.

Charlie let his eyes drift shut for a moment, just to rest.

Maybe everything with Alpha wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe, even without him, he could still find comfort in being with friends.

After a few minutes of darkness, his eyes snapped open when he felt fingers ghosting through his hair. A shiver ran down his spine as he spun toward Sen, startled.

“Sorry…” Sen pulled his hand back, looking a little guilty but not exactly regretful.

“W-what are you doing?” Charlie stammered, his heartbeat picking up.

“I always wondered if it was soft,” Sen admitted, tilting his head with curiosity. A small smile tugged at his lips. “It is.”

Charlie’s face grew warm. “I—um… thank you.” His hands were starting to get clammy, and he wasn’t sure where to look.

Sen didn’t move away. Instead, he slowly raised his hand again, pausing just before touching Charlie’s hair, his dark eyes locked onto his. He wasn’t pushing—just waiting, silently asking for permission.

Charlie swallowed hard. He knew he shouldn’t let this happen, that it probably was a bad idea, but… the touch had felt nice.

This time, he didn’t flinch away. He let Sen’s fingers thread gently through his hair, the warmth of his touch lingering against his scalp. Sen's hands moved gently up and down before pausing. Charlie glanced over to see his hand pointing towards his eyepatch. 

“I always wanted to ask how that happened, but I didn't want to be rude?”

“You rude?” Charlie scoffed jokingly.

“Hey! I have my limits too,” Sen tugged his hair lightly before stroking it again. “Seriously though do you have an eye under there?” 

Charlie’s breath hitched, and he instinctively tensed up. His hand twitched, itching to reach up and cover the eyepatch even though it was already there, already doing its job of hiding what lay beneath. He swallowed hard.

Sen must have noticed the change in his demeanor because his expression softened. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me. I was just curious,” he said, voice unusually gentle compared to his usual playful tone.

Charlie exhaled through his nose, willing himself to stay calm. He didn’t like talking about it. Hardly ever did. But there was something about the way Sen looked at him—no pity, no judgment, just curiosity—that made it feel… different.

“It’s just… an old accident,” Charlie said finally, voice low. “A long time ago.”

Sen didn’t press further. Instead, he gave a small nod and leaned back into the couch. “Well, you pull it off,” he said with a grin. “Makes you look mysterious.”

Charlie let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “That so?”

“Mhm,” Sen hummed. “Like some tragic action movie hero.” He paused, then added, “Or a pirate.”

Charlie groaned. “Oh god.”

Sen laughed, and for the first time that night, Charlie felt himself relax—just a little.

“My brother William stabbed me in the eye when I was six,” Charlie admitted flatly. The words left his mouth before he could think twice about them. He didn’t like being reminded of it, but for some reason, telling Sen didn’t feel as awful as it usually did.

Sen’s amusement faded. “Oh, shitttt. And I thought Alpha and Beta sucked.” His voice held a mix of disbelief and concern. “I’m sorry that happened.”

Charlie shrugged. “He… he couldn’t help it. I forgive him for it,” he said, more to himself than to Sen. The words tasted hollow. “He’s on the spectrum, and he was having a meltdown. I got too close, and it happened. If anything, it was my papa’s fault for not watching us.” His fingers curled slightly against his knee. “William’s in a place now that can give him the care he needs.”

Sen was quiet for a moment before he said, “Yeah, I heard your dad sucks.”

Charlie let out a breathy, humorless chuckle. “Yep.” He looked away, eyes unfocused.

Sen hesitated, then asked, “What does it look like under there?”

“My eyepatch?” Charlie blinked and glanced at him.

Sen nodded.

“It’s scarred over,” Charlie explained. “My eye was so badly damaged that I cannot even wear a glass eye.”

“So, why do you wear an eyepatch?” Sen asked, lightly flicking his finger against it. “Don’t most people wear them to correct eye issues or some shit?”

Charlie huffed, rolling his eye. “You’re so nosy.”

Sen just grinned, unbothered.

Charlie exhaled through his nose. “It’s because I don’t want to look like a freak of nature.” The words came out sharper than he intended, but there was no taking them back. Sometimes he found himself avoiding looking at himself if he was near a mirror.

Sen tilted his head. “Can I see?”

Charlie opened his mouth to shut him down immediately, but when he turned to look at Sen, he hesitated. His expression wasn’t mocking—just quiet wonder.

“O-okay,” Charlie murmured, surprising even himself.

His fingers trembled slightly as he reached to untie the eyepatch. For a moment, he kept his hand over his damaged eye, as if shielding it would soften the reveal. Then, slowly, he lowered it and turned toward Sen.

Sen just smiled.

“Chuck, it looks fine. Hell, it looks cool,” Sen said, nodding like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Anyone who says otherwise is an asshole.”

Charlie swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to show me,” Sen added, his voice softer this time.

“I just feel better when it’s covered,” Charlie murmured, twirling his eyepatch between his fingers as he stared down at it.

Before he could dwell on it too much, he felt fingers on his chin, gently tilting his face upward. His breath hitched, eyes widening as Sen traced his fingers lightly over the scars on his face.

“Brothers suck, huh?” Sen mumbled, his voice quieter now, almost thoughtful.

Charlie swallowed; his throat suddenly dry. He wasn't used to people touching him like this—at least, not gently. His first instinct was to flinch away, to pull back before the moment could become too much. But for some reason, he didn’t.

Sen’s touch was light, barely there, as his fingers traced the jagged lines of Charlie’s scars. There was no disgust in his expression, no pity either. Just quiet curiosity.

“They really do,” Charlie muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sen hummed in agreement but didn’t say anything else. Instead, he pulled his hand back and flopped onto his back beside Charlie, staring up at the ceiling like they had all the time in the world.

Charlie exhaled slowly, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He tied his eyepatch back in place, fingers steadying as he adjusted it.

“You know,” Sen said after a beat. “You don’t look like a freak of nature.”

Charlie huffed a short, dry laugh. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious,” Sen turned his head to look at him, his expression oddly sincere. “You should let people see you more.”

Charlie scoffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, no t-thanks.”

Sen smirked. “Suit yourself.”

For a while, neither of them spoke as the movie played. And Charlie wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Sen kept a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, and for once, Charlie felt no obligation to pull away.

He sat there for a moment, still aware of the ghost of Sen’s touch lingering in his hair, the slight brush of his fingers against his knee as his hands rested loosely between them.

The movie droned on in the background, but neither of them was really paying attention. The room had settled into an oddly comfortable silence—something Charlie never expected to feel around Sen, of all people. He was always loud, always pushing people’s buttons just for fun. But right now, he was just… here. Present.

Charlie exhaled, letting his head fall back against the couch. “You should get some sleep,” he finally broke the silence. “You’re gonna feel like shit in the morning.”

Sen let out a dramatic groan. “Don’t remind me.” He turned his head toward Charlie, his eyes heavy with exhaustion but still glinting with mischief. “You’ll take care of me, right?”

Charlie scoffed, rolling his eye. “You’re a grown-ass man. You can take care of yourself.”

Sen smirked. “That wasn’t a no.”

Charlie opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, Sen nudged him with his elbow.

“Hey. Hey. Hey, I wanna tell you something.”

Charlie eyed him warily. “W-what?”

Sen leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Wanna know my secret?”

Charlie stiffened, heart skipping a beat. “Um—?”

Sen exhaled; his breath warm against Charlie’s skin. “I’ve never kissed a guy before,” he admitted like he was letting go of some big confession.

Charlie blinked, leaning back slightly as he processed that. “Why would you want to? Aren’t you straight?”

Sen shrugged. “I don’t know. I won’t stop liking girls—like, even though I act like a pansy sometimes, y’know? But I can’t help but wonder… is kissing a guy different?”

Charlie felt a complete shift in the room at those words.

This was heading exactly where he feared.

“It’s not that much different from kissing a girl,” he said carefully, hoping to shut the conversation down.

“Oh, is it?” Sen looked away for a moment before turning back and locking eyes with Charlie. His gaze was unreadable. “Would you mind proving that?”

“OKAY!” Charlie snapped out of whatever trance had settled over him and shot to his feet, putting as much distance between them as possible. His eyes flicked toward the door, seriously considering making a run for it. But instead, he stayed frozen in place. “No, thank you! I’m GOOD!”

Sen laughed, clearly entertained. “C’mon, just one little kiss.”

Charlie huffed, crossing his arms. “You’re drunk. You don’t even know what you’re asking.”

“You’re tipsy too! It’s just a kiss!” Sen insisted, throwing his hands up.

To Charlie, it didn’t sound like fun. At all.

“No,” he said firmly. “I bet this is just some prank from you anyway. It’s not funny, Sen—not after everything I’ve been through.”

“I’M NOT JOKING! PLEASE!” Sen whined, practically squirming where he sat. Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up with an idea. “If you don’t do it, I’ll go outside and find a random guy to kiss. What if he’s a creep, Chuck?! It’ll be all your fault, Charlie. I’ll do it! You know I will.”

“This is stupid,” Charlie muttered, turning toward the door, fully intending to leave.

But before he could take a step, Sen grabbed his wrist and tugged him back.

Charlie froze.

He had to admit—Sen was determined.

“It’s just a kiss,” Sen pleaded, his voice softer this time. “I promise it’ll stay between us.”

Charlie exhaled sharply, his shoulders slumping.

Was it that big of a deal?

Sen was right. It was just a kiss. Charlie had kissed plenty of people before. Some were out of sadness, some out of desperation, and plenty were just… casual. This wouldn’t be any different. It wasn’t like he was taken. It wasn’t like he was cheating on anyone.

“If I do it… can I leave?” Charlie turned to face Sen; his expression unreadable.

“Yes!” Sen chuckled, pumping his fist in victory. “Come here.”

They both sat back down on the couch and Sen, ever the dramatist, batted his eyelashes at Charlie in mock flirtation.

Charlie rolled his eye but didn’t bother responding. Instead, he placed a hand on Sen’s shoulder and swiftly pecked him on the lips.

Surprisingly, the smell of alcohol wasn’t unbearable.

He pulled back just as fast, only to be met with Sen’s unimpressed expression.

“What the heck was that?” Sen groaned. “Are you kissing your grandma or something?”

Charlie burst into laughter, the ridiculousness of the situation finally hitting him. “It was a kiss!”

“I thought guys would be rougher or something,” Sen grumbled, crossing his arms.

Charlie huffed, his amusement fading into mild annoyance. “Lips are lips, Sen.”

"Just saying," Sen huffed, crossing his arms.

"So… can I go now?" Charlie asked with an awkward laugh, already shifting toward the door.

"I guess," Sen sighed dramatically, then smirked. "But I give that kiss a solid two out of ten."

Charlie shot him a glare.

Sen looked him up and down, his smirk widening. "Not that I’m surprised. My brother probably loves boring, vanilla kisses like that."

Charlie felt something snap inside him.

Why the hell was Sen bringing up Alpha right now? His entire sexuality and experiences didn’t revolve around Alpha! He’d had plenty of experiences before Alpha—ones Sen couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"You’re such a little shit," Charlie growled.

Before he could think better of it, he grabbed Sen by the back of the neck and yanked him forward, crashing their lips together.

Sen was softer than most men he had kissed—softer than Charlie had expected. He half-expected Sen to shove him away, to laugh, to punch him in the gut. But instead, Sen’s fingers dug into his bicep, holding onto him.

Charlie took that as permission.

With ease, he pushed Sen back against the couch, pinning him beneath his full weight. He deepened the kiss, shoving his tongue into Sen’s mouth, and felt a rush of victory when Sen pushed back, their tongues clashing in a heated, unexpected rhythm.

And then, just as suddenly, Charlie pulled away.

A heavy wave of dread settled in his stomach as he looked down at the man beneath him.

Sen stared back at him, eyes wide and dilated in shock.

Why did he do that?

What the hell was he thinking?

“Fuck,” Sen muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand—then, to Charlie’s horror, he grinned. “Ew. Hehe. So… what’s it like kissing a man? Kinda fun.”

Charlie sat up quickly, scooting away from him and rubbing his mouth as if he could erase what just happened. “Why did we do that? We shouldn’t have done that.”

“Chill! It was fun.” Sen looked him up and down, eyes still gleaming with amusement. “Maybe I’m slightly bi-curious, after all. Always wondered how strong you were, but turns out—” he smirked, “—you’re just a gentle giant.”

Charlie stayed silent, heart hammering in his chest.

That was wrong.

But… at least it was just a kiss. They were drunk. Stupid. Nothing else happened.

Then he felt a hand on his knee.

“You know,” Sen murmured, sliding a hand under Charlie’s shirt and trailing his fingers up Charlie’s leg.  “We could do more.”

“NO!” Charlie yelped, jerking away and shoving Sen’s hands off of him. “I—I need to go. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Charlie, it’s okay!” Sen stood abruptly, but the alcohol caught up to him, and he stumbled. “Wait—”

Charlie didn’t wait.

He pushed through the door, nearly tripping over himself in his rush to get out.

He didn’t look back.

And he was grateful Sen didn’t chase after him.

Charlie stood outside Senpai’s apartment, trying to catch his breath. His heart pounded against his ribs as the events of the night replayed in his mind.

He had just made out with Senpai.

The younger brother of the love of his life.

He was going to hell.

Tears welled up, blurring his vision as they spilled down his cheeks. No wonder Alpha didn’t want him. He was a terrible person with no self-control. Before Alpha, he had always struggled with being too available, too desperate for affection. And now? Now he had just proven that nothing had changed. Maybe Alpha hadn’t left just to be “normal.” Maybe he had seen Charlie for what he was—someone incapable of being good enough.

A car honked loudly as it sped past, startling him. Just some asshole being obnoxious.

Charlie sniffed and wiped his face, his hands shaking. He needed to go home, bury himself under his sheets, and pretend none of this had happened. First, though, he had to figure out how to get back to his car at the bar using the damn bus system. At least that nightmare of logistics would serve as a temporary distraction from the overwhelming shame clawing at his chest.

Why hadn’t he just walked away when Sen started flirting? Why had he let it happen?

He shuddered at the thought of Alpha ever finding out.

If he did…

Charlie would be dead.

He was awful. So awful.

Charlie surprisingly managed to navigate the bus system with ease as he made his way to the bar. After retrieving his truck, he drove home, but a lingering unease gnawed at him

By the time he finally got home, exhaustion weighed on him. His body ached, his mind was a chaotic mess, and his stomach felt twisted in knots. Kicking off his boot, he collapsed onto his bed without even bothering to take off his clothes, burying his face into the pillow. He tried to force himself to sleep, but the night replayed over and over in his head—Sen’s hands on him, his lips, the way his voice had sounded so sure, so inviting.

Charlie squeezed his eye shut, rolling onto his back with a groan. He felt sick. Not from the alcohol, but from his mistakes. He couldn’t pinpoint the main reason why this was so messed up—maybe because of Alpha, maybe because Sen was younger, maybe because he just wasn’t the type of person who could do something like this and not overthink it.

Every time he started to drift off, his mind jolted him awake with a new worry. Would Sen regret it in the morning? Would he act like it never happened? Worse—would he tell Alpha?

After hours of restless tossing and turning, Charlie finally managed to fall into a shallow, uneasy sleep.

But waking up he didn’t feel any better.

His phone had no calls. No messages. Nothing.

It wasn’t unusual for him to wake up to nothing, but today, it terrified him.

Sen must have regretted everything. Sen must hate him now.

Even worse—what if he told Alpha?

Charlie’s breaths came in short, panicked gasps as he paced his room, mind racing through every worst-case scenario. Had he just made everything worse?

He had to fix this.

Even if Sen slammed the door in his face, even if he cursed him out, Charlie needed to apologize. He needed Sen to know that he understood what happened was a mistake. That he wasn’t just brushing it off.

But what if Alpha was there?

It didn’t matter.

Charlie grabbed his keys and rushed out the door. He had to make this right—before it was too late.

On the way over to Sen’s apartment, Charlie stopped by a drug store, trying to push down the anxiety bubbling in his chest. He wasn’t sure if showing up was the right move, but he had to do something. He wandered through the aisles, picking up a few things that might help—Gatorade, water, Pedialyte. His hands hovered over a small fruit cup, and he grabbed it, thinking it might be a light, easy thing for Sen to stomach.

It was all a peace offering. A desperate attempt to make things right.

By the time he reached Sen’s apartment complex, Charlie’s nerves were in full swing. He wiped his clammy hands against his jeans, took a deep breath, and knocked.

No answer.

His stomach twisted. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Sen didn’t want to see him. Maybe Charlie should turn around, go home, and pretend none of this happened.

He hesitated, lifting his hand to knock again when the door suddenly swung open.

Sen stood there in nothing but boxers, his hair sticking up in messy cowlicks. His eyes squinted against the morning light.

“Charlie?” Sen’s voice was thick with sleep.

“I—I’m so sorry,” Charlie blurted, his face burning. “You don’t have to forgive me, and I’m sorry for bothering you now, but—please, tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

Sen just stared at him. He didn’t look angry—just confused.

Charlie felt sick. Did he not remember? That made it worse.

“Uh, do you wanna come inside?” Sen jerked his thumb behind him. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Hm., Okay?” Sen rubbed his temple. “Well, my head is pounding, so I’d rather take this conversation inside.”

“Oh! Sorry!” Charlie fumbled past him, nearly tripping over the threshold. “I, uh, I got you some things from the store. These always help me after a hangover.”

Charlie handed the bag over and Sen peeked inside, his lips curling into a grin. He set the bagged items on the counter in his kitchen.

“Aww, this is so sweet. Thanks, man.”

Charlie’s heart lurched in relief. “So, uh, as I was saying…I’m really sorry—”

“I don’t regret anything,” Sen interrupted. His tone was casual, but his eyes flickered with something unreadable. “I wasn’t that drunk.”

Charlie’s breath hitched. “Huh?”

Sen stretched, yawning. “Did you get your car yet from the bar?” he asked, completely changing the subject.

“Yeah, I did, but…Sen, we should talk about this—”

"Can you take me to get my car?"

Charlie blinked at Sen’s sudden request.

"But—"

"We’ll talk about this in your car," Sen said, motioning down at himself. "I think I’d rather have this conversation when I’m more put together. Also, I just woke up. Give me a second to think."

Charlie’s gaze flickered over Sen’s body before he could stop himself. Bare chest, small frame—he’d never seen him like this before. His face heated, and he quickly looked away.

"Y-yeah. Go ahead and change. I’ll take you." Charlie cleared his throat, hoping it masked the wheeze in his voice.

"Make yourself comfortable," Sen offered, already heading toward his bedroom. "Take anything from the fridge. And if you see my cat say hello to him. He usually hides around new people but gets angry when he is ignored.”

“I’ll m-make sure to do that,” Charlie said. 

“I’ll be right back."

Charlie watched him head into his bedroom. Now that Charlie was sober, he could fully take in the state of Sen’s apartment. It was surprisingly neat, decorated with an eclectic mix of thrifted furniture, band posters, and random trinkets. It didn’t match the chaotic image Sen projected, but maybe that made sense.

"Okay, let’s go," Sen announced as he entered the living room.

Charlie glanced up, taking in his outfit. He wore overalls over a long pink shirt. It was something Charlie could never imagine himself wearing, but on Sen, it looked effortlessly fashionable. He had the fleeting urge to compliment him but swallowed it down. It would feel inappropriate given the circumstances.

"You got everything you need?" Charlie asked while standing up.

“Uh huh,” Sen held up his lanyard of keys and his wallet.

Sen went towards the door and Charlie followed behind him. They made themselves over to Charlie’s car without a word. Charlie unlocked his truck.

"Nice truck," Sen commented, popping open the glove compartment and peeking inside without permission. 

Charlie didn’t bother stopping him. His mind was too preoccupied.

He made sure Sen buckled up before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot of the apartment.

 The drive was silent.

Charlie gripped the steering wheel tighter, his thoughts looping endlessly. Should he be the one to bring up the topic? He glanced over at Sen, who was staring out the window, silent.

Was he avoiding the topic because he was afraid of hurting Charlie’s feelings?

He said he didn’t regret it, though.

What did that even mean?

Did he not regret it, but also did he not want anything more to do with Charlie? Did he enjoy the fact that he made out with his brother’s ex? Alpha and Sen were always at each other’s throats—was this some twisted act of defiance?

Or… did he not regret it because he wanted to do more?

For some reason, that last thought scared Charlie the most.

They were a minute away from the bar, and the silence was suffocating.

“Sorry I’m quiet,” Sen finally said. “I’m trying to figure out the best way to phrase this.”

“Oh… t-that’s okay,” Charlie forced his voice to stay calm, though his heart was hammering. He turned into the parking lot, relief washing over him when he saw Sen’s car still there—no tow, no ticket.

“You sure that’s okay? Because I know you’re freaking out about this,” Sen added.

“How can I not?” Charlie’s forced calm shattered. “We shouldn’t have done what we did.”

“Chill, Chuck! The world isn’t going to end. We kissed. It was fun. Big deal.”

“Not a big deal? Seriously? Who just broke up with me? And who is your brother?”

“Okay, yeah, I know. That’s why this situation is a little… uh, weird.”

“Weird?” Charlie scoffed. “I don’t understand why you don’t regret it.”

Sen turned to him with a smirk, but there was something unreadable in his eyes. “Do you?”

“Yes!” Charlie turned sharply to face him.

Sen just looked at him, his eyes softer than before. It wasn’t pity, exactly—just something sad, something Charlie couldn’t decipher. He wondered if Sen was going to leave, get in his car, and never speak to him again. He wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“I mean… come on, Sen. You must understand why,” Charlie said, his voice quieter now.

Sen hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Do you want to come inside with me?”

“Um, I don’t think—”

“I promise I won’t drink,” Sen rolled his eyes. “I’m just starving. And I want to talk about this more. Let me explain myself.”

Charlie swallowed hard. He couldn’t comprehend what more there was to explain after just admitting he regretted it. It would probably be best for everyone if he just denied Sen and apologized again.

But instead, he said, “O-okay.”

The bar was nearly empty at this hour. The quiet hum of conversation and the occasional clatter of dishes filled the space as they were led to a table near the back. A dim light flickered above them, casting an odd glow over the scratched wooden surface. Neither of them spoke as they sat, the tension between them stretching uncomfortably.

They both ordered water.

“So…” Sen sipped his water, watching Charlie.

“So.” Charlie mumbled, tracing the rim of his glass with his finger.

“I do have to say,” Sen started, a small smile tugging at his lips, “I appreciate that you came over. I was planning to find you after I felt better.”

Charlie blinked. “Are you feeling okay now?”

“Totally. Maybe a mild headache, but yeah.” Sen paused, swirling the straw in his water, his gaze flicking downward before meeting Charlie’s again. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. As soon as you left…” He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Warmth spread through Charlie’s chest at the thought of being on Sen’s mind. He shouldn’t feel like this. It didn’t mean anything.

Charlie looked down at his glass, gripping it tightly as if it could steady his nerves. “You’re the one who w-worried me last night,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the tension. “You did say that you wanted to live in North Korea.”

Sen snorted, shaking his head. “Shut up! I jokingly said that if I ever wanted to drink legally at eighteen, I could just move to North Korea. And —before you even try me—I’m part Korean, so I can legally say that.”

Charlie rolled his eye, but a small smile tugged at his lips. “Okay, okay, I know , Sen. I was just teasing you to feel better.” His smile faded slightly as he looked down again. “I don’t get you. How are you so cool about this? About… what happened?”

Sen leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms before resting them behind his head. His smirk was lazy, but his gaze was sharp, watching Charlie closely. “Because I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be.”

Charlie’s stomach twisted. He wished he could believe that.

“It’s a big deal. It’s—” Charlie sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s messed up.”

Sen tilted his head, studying him. “Do you feel like you cheated?”

Charlie’s breath hitched. “What?”

“I mean, you’re acting like you did.”

“I didn’t,” Charlie said quickly, but the guilt still gnawed at him. “Alpha and I weren’t together. We never were together.”

“Exactly,” Sen said, leaning back. “So, what’s the issue?”

Charlie stared at him, caught off guard. He glanced around the restaurant, paranoia creeping in as he wondered if anyone was listening. Lowering his voice, he muttered, “It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t with him. The issue is that I was in love with your brother. And then, the second I get a chance to self-destruct, I—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. His throat felt tight. “I don’t even know why I’m explaining this to you.”

Sen tapped his fingers lazily against the table. “Maybe because you want me to tell you it’s okay.” His eyes flickered with amusement. “Seriously, why is it such a big deal that we hooked up just because you and Alpha had a thing? Who cares?”

Charlie stiffened. “It’s not okay.”

“Why?”

“Because—” Charlie stopped. The words wouldn’t come.

Sen hummed thoughtfully, then took a sip of his water. “You’re acting like you did something unforgivable. But you didn’t. You’re just punishing yourself because that’s what you do, isn’t it?”

Charlie’s face burned. “T-that’s not—”

“I liked what we did last night,” Sen interrupted. His voice was soft, but the words hit Charlie like a gut punch. “Not just because of Alpha. Not to mess with him. Just because you’re hot. And a nice guy to be around.”

Charlie’s pulse pounded in his ears. “You don’t even know me.”

Sen smiled, but there was something sad in it. “Maybe not. But who cares? It’s been nice getting to know you after my brothers hog you so much.”

“You never made attempts before to get to know me.”

“And now I am,” Sen said, leaning his head against his hands on the table, his gaze fixed on Charlie.

Charlie’s skin tingled as the realization settled in—Sen not only didn’t regret last night, but he was also suggesting they keep doing this. The weight of it pressed against Charlie’s chest, making his pulse quicken.

Sen reached over to grab his hand. “I think we should—”

“Can I get you boys anything?”

The waitress’s voice cut through the tension, making Charlie jolt slightly. He turned toward her, heart still pounding, while Sen sighed, clearly irritated by the interruption.

“Uh—sorry, I didn’t even look at the menu yet—”

“Girl, can you see that we are talking? Oh my god!” Sen snapped, throwing his hands up dramatically.

The waitress raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Do you want anything or not?”

Sen waved a lazy hand. “Just get me a burger, medium rare, and get him a plate of lettuce or some shit. He’s a vegan or whatever.”

Charlie shot him a glare, both surprised that Sen remembered but also unimpressed with how he was talking. He crossed his arms, turning to the waitress. “I’m s-sorry about him, miss. He isn’t feeling great and has been having a bad day.” Then he looked at Sen. “And for the record, I can eat more than just lettuce.”

Sen smirked, resting his chin in his hand. “Oh, my bad. Get him, like, a fancy-ass salad or a pile of grass—whatever makes him happy.”

The waitress exhaled sharply, scribbling on her notepad. “Got it. One actual meal and one pile of grass. Anything else?”

Charlie groaned, rubbing his temples. “I’ll just take a veggie burger. Please.”

The waitress nodded before walking away.

“See?” Sen grinned. “Compromise. We’re already making progress. And isn’t it cool that I remembered that you're vegan?”

“Yeah, sure…” Charlie muttered, looking away. At least Sen’s outburst had momentarily distracted him from the mess in his head, but still—that was beyond embarrassing.

Sen sighed, shifting in his seat. “Sorry, Chuck,” he mumbled. “I promise I’ll apologize to her later and leave a good tip. I just… I can’t control myself when I’m annoyed.”

Charlie glanced at him, still a little exasperated, but softened at the genuine guilt in Sen’s expression. “Just… try to be nice next time, okay? Remember she was just doing her job…”

“I know,” Sen sipped his water.

“But, um, y-you were saying?” Charlie asked, eager to move on from the awkward encounter.

“Oh, right! Listen—we’re both single, both probably spending Valentine’s Day alone…”

Charlie’s breath caught. Oh. He hadn’t even realized Valentine’s Day was only a week away. It was a holiday he usually ignored, but being reminded that he’d be spending it alone this year left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Or at least, he thought he’d be alone… but with how things unfolded, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“It also happens to be my birthday,” Sen added with a smirk.

Charlie blinked. “W-what?”

“My birthday. It’s on Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh. Happy early birthday,” Charlie said, letting out a nervous chuckle.

Sen sighed dramatically, propping his chin in his hand. His gaze flickered toward Charlie, something unreadable in his expression. “Hope I get a gift from you. Maybe you can do something to make all this up to me.”

Charlie felt his face heat up. “Make it up to you? For what?”

Sen shrugged. “For feeling bad about last night. I don’t get why you’re so torn up about it.”

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, fingers tightening around his napkin. “Because it’s… I don’t know. It’s not something I should’ve done.”

Sen hummed, tilting his head. “You know, if anything, I should be the one apologizing, not you. I’m the one who came onto you. I should’ve known it was a bad idea.”

Charlie frowned. “Why? Because of Alpha?”

Sen scoffed, shaking his head. “Pfft. No. Because you’re all innocent and sheepish about this kinda thing.”

Charlie stiffened. “W-what do you mean?”

Sen gave him a knowing look. “I dunno. You just seem kinda new to sex. Aren’t you?”

Charlie’s brain short-circuited. “W-what?”

“I mean, no offense, but…” Sen tilted his head, considering him. “You seem pretty shy and reserved.”

Charlie was bewildered. This child —this infant —thought he was inexperienced? As much as he wasn’t the proudest of his past he sure as hell didn’t want to be undermined in his ability.

“Why would you think t-that?” Charlie huffed. “I’m older than you.”

Sen leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Older doesn’t mean experienced , Chuck. You just… give off a vibe, you know?"

Charlie scoffed, crossing his arms. "What kind of vibe ?"

Sen smirked. "Like, I dunno… you’re all shy, blushing over everything, acting like last night was some catastrophic mistake. No offense, but you kinda scream ‘never done this before.’

“I have done this before” His eyes narrowed. “Wait, wait—do you think I was a virgin before I met your brother?”

Sen pulled a face. “First of all, ew, I don’t need that visual.” He shook his head. “And second, well… yeah. You seem like the type.”

Charlie’s eye twitched. “I am not a virgin.”

Sen raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Okay, okay. My bad. You just seem… I don’t know. Innocent.”

Charlie groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “This is the worst conversation I’ve ever had.”

Sen smirked. “You’d be surprised how often people say that to me.”

“I’m not surprised at all.” Charlie huffed before crossing his arms. “Look, I am shy, but that doesn’t mean I’m inexperienced or innocent.” He hesitated, then added, “I’ve definitely slept with more people than you.”

Sen snorted. “Pfft, okay, sure. I’ve been with, like… twelve girls.” He leaned back, smug.

Charlie gave a slow and knowing smile.

Sen’s confidence wavered. “Wait… what?”

Charlie tapped his fingers against the table casually. As much as he usually liked to keep this a secret, he knew he would find a lot of satisfaction in beating Sen in this right now.

“Thirty-five,” He admitted.

Sen nearly choked on his water. “ Shut up. ” He stared in disbelief. “Shut UP! No way. No way you’ve been with more people than me.”

Charlie shrugged. “My early twenties were a confusing and wild time. S-sorry if that grosses you out.”

“Why would that gross me out? That’s a fucking achievement. ”

Charlie felt a wave of relief wash over him. Sen didn’t see it as a bad thing. When he had told Alpha, there had been judgment in his reaction—a quiet disapproval that had lingered in Charlie’s mind more than he cared to admit.

Sen gawked at him before shaking his head with a smirk. “God damn. The more I find out about you, the hotter you get, Chuck.”

Charlie’s face flamed. He lowered his voice, glancing around the restaurant. “Did my kiss feel like I was a virgin?”

“Touché,” Sen gave a lopsided grin. “It was a nice kiss.”

Charlie exhaled, unsure why that made his stomach flip.

They fell into silence as their food arrived. Sen, unfortunately, didn’t get the chance to apologize since a different server brought their meals. Charlie found himself struggling to take bites, his stomach fluttering with nerves. He glanced over at Sen, who was staring at his plate, barely having touched his food.

“Y-you okay?” Charlie frowned.

“Yeah,” Sen muttered, still looking down. After a moment, he took a deep breath and lifted his gaze. “What I pretty much want to say, Charlie, is that I keep thinking about last night.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “I know our situation isn’t ideal, but I liked what we did… and I’m curious to do more.”

Charlie swallowed hard. He knew this was coming. “Aren’t you afraid of how Alpha is going to react?”

“Screw that guy! He left you!” Sen argued, his voice heated. “He doesn’t have the right to be mad. Alpha is a self-centered narcissist. We’re both better off without him. And who says he’s even going to find out? We don’t have to tell him anything.”

Charlie wanted to ask what Sen’s plan was if Alpha did find out, but he was too scared to hear the answer. He didn’t even want to imagine that confrontation.

Sen leaned in, his tone softening. “Look, Chuck, I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m saying we can have fun—no strings attached. I like you, and you can’t deny you have some interest in me. I see it in your face. So, what’s stopping us?”

Charlie’s throat went dry. “W-why? Why me?”

Sen smirked. “Because you’re hot. I realized how hot you were ever since you yelled at me.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I gotta admit, I’ve always been a little curious about guys. And doing stuff with you? It just makes sense. I know you, and you’re a sweet guy who cares.”

“But Alpha—”

“THIS AGAIN!?” Sen ran his hands down his face in frustration. “Are you still together?”

Charlie sighed, his gaze drifting downward. “Like I said, we never were together, but—”

“Well, there you go,” Sen cut him off, gesturing with exasperation. “There’s nothing wrong with us doing stuff together then. We’re just two single, horny guys who’ve both been heartbroken recently. Hmmm?”

Charlie knew Sen was looking for an answer now. The weight of the silence between them felt almost suffocating, and Charlie could feel Sen’s eyes burning into him, waiting, pressing.

As tempting as Sen’s words were, as much as his body ached for release, Charlie knew he couldn’t give in—not this time. He could feel the pull, the temptation, but he couldn’t—he shouldn’t. It wasn’t just about what they could do in the moment; it was about the aftermath. The mess, the complications.

Charlie’s heart twisted painfully. As much as he hated to admit it, he still clung to a faint hope that maybe—just maybe—Alpha could change his mind. Even if he didn’t, Charlie still wanted to be a part of his life, even if it was just as a friend. He knew Alpha better than anyone and sleeping with his younger brother would only create a mess. No good could come of it.

But still, he was struggling. The weight of temptation felt suffocating. His mind raced, his pulse quickened. For a moment, he wished he could shut down his thoughts, block out the need clawing at him. But he couldn’t. Not now. He wasn’t the kind of person who could just ignore what felt right.

How could he say no without sounding like a coward?

How could he protect himself, and Sen, without causing more harm?

Then, an idea struck him—something that might just offer him a way out. It was something he had to reveal to Sen either way eventually.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea...” Charlie’s voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes darting away, hoping to hide the uncertainty in them. “There’s something else you don’t know about me.”

Sen’s brow furrowed, confusion creeping onto his face. “What? Do you have an STD? It’s okay, I’m sex educated. We’ll use a condom. I’ve done this before—”

“NO! It’s not that!” Charlie blurted, his face turning bright red.

Sen raised an eyebrow, clearly amused but confused. “Then what?”

Charlie hesitated, the words sticking in his throat. His heart raced, his hands shaking as he tried to find a way to say this. “So, you said you’re interested in me because you’re... curious about men?”

“Yeah, I guess. That’s part of it,” Sen replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Charlie’s stomach tightened, his breath quickening. “Well,” he said, his voice trembling,

“I’m worried that you might... be disappointed.”

Sen frowned, clearly puzzled. “Disappointed?”

Charlie’s chest constricted. He hated how exposing this was, how vulnerable he felt. But he couldn’t back down now. He had to say it. “Yeah...” His voice faltered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Sen tilted his head, genuinely confused. “Why? Do you have a small dick or something?”

Charlie’s face flushed with embarrassment, and he quickly looked away, biting his lip.

“S-Sorry, sorry,” Sen said, realizing his mistake. “I didn’t mean—go on.”

Charlie gathered his courage, forcing himself to meet Sen’s eyes. He had to do this. He had to be honest. “A-anyway...” His voice cracked as he spoke, the words heavier than he anticipated. “I’m a man.” He paused, letting the silence fill the space before him, unsure if he should continue. But he couldn’t back out now. “But... I’m trans.”

“You are?!” Sen let out an excited gasp. “That’s so cool! I didn’t even know, Charlie! I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.”

“T-thanks.” Charlie was caught off guard by Sen’s respectful reaction. It was... shockingly decent. “So, you don’t see me as less of a man.”

“Pfff, of course not! I’ve dated a trannie before.”

Charlie’s stomach twisted. There goes his respectful reaction. “Don’t say that word please.”

“Shit! Sorry!,” Sen said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But yeah, that doesn’t change anything for me.”

“Ohhh… okay,” Charlie muttered.

Charlie kind of wished that it did. Not in a cruel way, but in the way that would make this easier. If Sen had been weird about it—if he had recoiled, hesitated, or made a big deal out of it—then Charlie would have had a clear out. A solid excuse to walk away. But instead, Sen was standing there, grinning like an idiot, completely unfazed, acting as if nothing had changed.

It was… overwhelming.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms. “I mean… it’s kind of a big deal.”

“To who? You’re still you. Still the guy who yelled at me and made me realize freckles are hot. Still the guy who’s awkward as hell but somehow really endearing.” He smirked. “Still the guy I wanna mess around with.”

He didn’t know what to do with that. He had thrown up a barrier—something that should have made Sen back off—but Sen had just stepped right over it like it was nothing.

“So what do you say?” Sen leaned in slightly, lowering his voice as he grinned. “Want to be my Valentine’s fuck buddy?”

Charlie’s breath hitched. His easy way out was gone. He had to be assertive—he had to shut this down without pissing Sen off or hurting his feelings.

“Sen, you are handsome, and I would like to get to know you more but—”

“Oh...” Sen’s smile faded slightly as he sat back.

“I can’t, Sen.” Charlie braced himself for the reaction. “It doesn’t feel right. I’m sorry.”

Charlie could see the flicker of disappointment on Sen’s face. His expression tightened like he wanted to argue like he wanted to push back. But instead, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and forced a small smile.

“That’s okay,” he said after a moment, pulling out his wallet from his pocket. He set down his credit card.

Charlie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, relieved that Sen was taking this so well. Maybe too well. A small, uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. He had expected more pushback, but instead, Sen was brushing it off like it was no big deal. That should’ve been a good thing, but somehow, it made Charlie feel even guiltier.

Sen’s eyes flickered toward him, amusement dancing behind them. “You look like you’re overthinking again.”

Charlie hesitated before shaking his head. “I’m just… surprised, I guess.”

Sen scoffed. “What? You thought I was gonna throw a tantrum?”

Charlie shrugged. “No, but I just—” He struggled to find the words. “People don’t always take rejection well. Are you mad at me?”

“No, Chuck,” Sen reassured him, waving a dismissive hand. “I still would like to hang out with you more too. Are you free to come hang with me and my friends on my birthday?”

“I could do that,” Charlie agreed without even thinking about it.

Then, the realization hit him.

What if Alpha was at the party? No—Sen wouldn’t invite him… right? But what if he showed up anyway? And even if Alpha wasn’t there, Beta probably would be. Sen and Beta got along better than Alpha and Sen did.

Oh god. Beta.

Charlie had completely forgotten about Beta in all of this.

What would Beta think? Would he be mad? Would he even care? Would he see this as a betrayal? Would he say something to Alpha?

Charlie’s stomach twisted with anxiety, but before he could dwell on it further, Sen’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Also, don’t worry about Alpha ever finding out about this,” Sen said with a casual wave of his hand. “I can be a loudmouth… but I’ll die before I let this get out to him.”

Charlie let out a breath, tension easing just slightly. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

Charlie’s heart sank a little, guilt creeping in even though he knew he had done the right thing. He had been bracing for disappointment, maybe even anger, but Sen took rejection surprisingly well.

Suddenly, Sen shot up from his seat, nearly knocking over his drink in the process. Charlie flinched, his head tilting in confusion.

“Do you hear that?! This song is amazing!” Sen exclaimed, eyes lighting up with excitement. Then, without hesitation, he extended a hand toward Charlie. “Hey, do you wanna dance with me?”

Charlie blinked at him. “Uh… I—haha—I’m not a d-dancer.”

“Me neither!” Sen grinned. “That’s what makes it fun.”

Charlie hesitated, glancing around the bar. The place wasn’t exactly built for dancing—it was just a small building with faded booths, dim lighting, and the soft hum of conversation from other patrons. But there was music playing, a bubbly pop song drifting from the speakers, something bright and upbeat.

“I think I should get going—” Charlie started, shifting in his seat, but Sen wiggled his fingers insistently, his grin never fading.

Before Charlie could protest, Sen grabbed his hand and tugged him out of his seat. Charlie stumbled forward, nearly knocking into him, but Sen caught his wrist and steadied him.

Charlie exhaled sharply, feeling self-conscious as Sen placed a hand on his waist. His heart pounded—partly from nerves, partly because this whole night had taken such a weird turn.

Sen, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease. He swayed them side to side, humming along to the music, his grip firm but gentle.

“You’re stiff,” Sen pointed out.

“I told you I don’t dance,” Charlie muttered.

“Then let me lead. I know that I’m short but…,” Sen said, his voice softer now. “Just follow me.”

Charlie hesitated but eventually let himself fall into the rhythm Sen set. It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t particularly graceful, but it was… nice.

For a moment, Charlie let himself forget the messiness of his life right now—the awkward confession, the rejection, the lingering guilt. Right now, it was just the two of them, slow dancing in a mostly empty bar, sharing a moment that felt strangely intimate despite everything. 

It made him feel young and free. 

Sen leaned closer suddenly to Charlie’s ear. 

“You know if you ever do change your mind,” Sen murmured, his voice teasing but with an undercurrent of sincerity, “I’ll still be here.”

Charlie shuddered. “I know.”

Chapter Text

Days after his encounter with Sen, Charlie found himself… happier. It was unexpected, but he couldn't deny it.

They were texting each other often now. Sometimes, Charlie finds himself utterly confused by the way Sen texts. He used abbreviations and slang that made Charlie feel old. He’d stare at his phone, rereading messages, trying to decipher the meaning, only to give up and respond with a safe, vague reply. It was frustrating, but also kind of… endearing.

What surprised him the most was that Sen hadn’t stopped talking to him.

Charlie had fully expected him to lose interest after getting rejected. Most people would. But Sen kept reaching out, casually inviting him to get drinks or go out to a party with his friends. And every time, Charlie turned him down. He appreciated the offers—sometimes, he was even tempted to say yes—but he knew it was best to have some space.

Mostly because he couldn't get Sen’s offer out of his mind.

Charlie hated that part of himself. The part that, despite knowing he made the right decision, still felt curious. He knew better. He wasn’t some reckless teenager anymore. And yet… the idea of it, of Sen, still lingered.

There was a thrill he couldn’t ignore.

Sen was undeniably good-looking. Beauty ran in that family, and Sen, with his perfectly quaffed hair and careless confidence, was no exception. Charlie had always been drawn to people with a more feminine touch, and Sen’s charm—his flirtatious, easygoing nature—was exactly his type.

Which only made things harder.

Charlie hated that he had to put distance between them.

He told himself the thrill would die down eventually. That his thoughts didn’t mean anything—they were just thoughts. He had already made the right choice, after all. And soon enough, Sen would find a girlfriend, or some other guy to mess around with, and Charlie wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.

Charlie’s phone buzzed in his hand, and Sen’s name flashed across the screen. He smiled.

Despite everything, Sen was a good thing to happen in his life right now. He was a good friend. Maybe this time he should say yes to whatever he asked to do. He didn’t want to end a friendship that just started.

Charlie answered.

“HELLO~” Sen’s cheerful voice sang through the speaker. “How is my Chuck?”

“O-oh,” Charlie’s face flustered. “I’m doing okay. I just got home from work.”

“What do you even do for work?”

“Well, I—”

“Do you wanna go around Walmart and look at shit?” Sen interrupted.

“Sure,” Charlie said without thinking. 

“Really?” Sen’s voice was laced with astonishment.

“I mean… only if you really w-want me to come.” Charlie fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, briefly considering taking it back. But at the same time, shopping sounded like a perfectly safe thing to do. In public. No alcohol involved. Well… at least he hoped there wasn’t alcohol involved.

“Of course, I want you to come! It, uh, does change my plans. But that’s okay! I wanna hang out with you more.”

Charlie felt his chest tighten at the words. He wasn’t used to people saying things like that to him so openly. It made him feel warm in a way he didn’t know how to handle.

“Oh… well, thanks. I do want to hang out with you more too. Sorry, I’ve been saying no most of the—”

“Shut upppp!” Sen teased. “I get it.”

Charlie huffed a quiet laugh. “Okay. Um, do you want me to meet you there?”

“No, I’ll pick you up! Now hurry up and get ready. I’ll be there in ten!”

“W-wait, ten—?” The line went dead before Charlie could even finish his sentence.

He barely had time to process what just happened before lowering his phone with a stunned blink. A moment later, he shook his head, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

It was weird how easily Sen pulled him into things. Even weirder how Charlie didn’t mind.

He glanced at his reflection again, thinking about what to wear. Hoodie? It's always a safe option. 

Then his thoughts crashed to a halt.

Oh god.

Sen was going to be the one driving.

Charlie barely had time to lock his door before Sen’s beat-up car came barreling down the street, screeching to a stop in front of him. The music blasting from inside was so loud the windows vibrated, the bass practically shaking the pavement.

The passenger-side window rolled down, revealing Sen’s grinning face covered with oversized sunglasses, one lens slightly askew. “Get in! We’re going to Walmart.”

Charlie hesitated. He had a deep and immediate concern for his life. But he was also too socially awkward to refuse. So, against his better judgment—and possibly his survival instincts—he got in.

Before he could even reach for his seatbelt, Sen floored it, sending the car lurching forward at a speed Charlie was sure was illegal in most states.

“Sen,” Charlie said carefully, gripping the door handle like it was his last hope for survival.

“Yeah?” Sen replied cheerfully, taking a turn so sharply Charlie swore he saw his life flash before his eyes.

Charlie wanted to say something. Slow down. I am afraid. Who gave you your license? I’d like to see another sunrise. But instead, all that came out was a weak, “N-nothing.”

Sen sped through a yellow light that was more red than yellow. “Oh, by the way, I’m low on gas, so if we stall in the middle of the road, just pretend we meant to do it.”

Charlie closed his eye briefly, accepting his fate. “G-great.”

“You’re so chill, Chuck. That’s what I like about you,” Sen said.

Charlie wasn’t chill.

He was horrified.

But he simply nodded, gripping his seatbelt and praying they made it to Walmart alive.

“OH! Are you willing to pay for some of the gas on the way back?”

Charlie was barely holding on to his will to live, let alone his wallet. But his mouth betrayed him. “S-sure!” he blurted, his survival instincts temporarily short-circuiting. He didn’t even know what he had just agreed to.

As they zipped through traffic, narrowly avoiding disaster at every turn, Charlie realized that Sen drove like he was in a high-speed chase—except there was no one chasing them. 

Sen suddenly cranked up the music even louder, the bass vibrating through Charlie’s ribs. Then, as if personally offended by the concept of paying attention, Sen started drumming both hands on the steering wheel—while taking his eyes completely off the road.

Charlie’s soul left his body.

“Sen!” he yelped, voice tight, knuckles white as he clutched the door handle like it was the last lifeline to the mortal realm.

“Yeah?” Sen glanced at him. Not at the road. At him.

Charlie wanted to scream. Look at the road, look at the road, look at the road—

“Uh—” He swallowed hard. His brain screamed at him to jump out of the car, tuck and roll, and accept the asphalt as his new home. 

Sen just laughed. “Man, you’re so quiet!” Then, with the confidence of a man who had never feared death, he took a sharp turn one-handed while blindly reaching into the backseat for something.

Charlie braced for death.

He could see Walmart in the distance. So close. So close to safety. If he could just hold on a little longer—

Then, suddenly—

BUMP.

The car jolted so hard that it definitely caught air.

Charlie’s entire life flashed before his eyes. Every bad decision. Every awkward conversation. 

Sen just laughed. “Whoops.”

Charlie couldn’t breathe. His entire existence was just one long whoops.

By some miracle, they pulled into the Walmart parking lot in one piece. Sen parked, taking up two spots, and turned to Charlie with a grin.

“See? That wasn’t so bad. Sometimes when I drive, people piss me off and I have to yell at them. So that was a win for us!”

Charlie unbuckled his seatbelt with trembling hands. His legs felt like jelly. His soul had abandoned him at least three times during that ride.

Sen clapped his hands together. “Alright! Let’s go look at stupid shit.”

Charlie inhaled. He had never been so grateful to see a Walmart in his life.

Sen turned off the ignition and jumped out of the car.  Charlie’s hands were shaking as he reached to flip up the emergency break. 

Stepping out of the car on unsteady legs, he promised himself that next time he was going to DEMAND to be the one who drove them home.

As they walked into the store, Charlie planned to just follow Sen’s lead. He didn’t typically shop here. He preferred supporting small businesses and farmers' markets—but he had to admit, Walmart was fascinatingly overwhelming. The sheer number of products amazed him. 

Sen, on the other hand, seemed to have zero sense of direction. He wandered through the aisles, occasionally picking up random items only to immediately lose interest. Charlie walked beside him, watching as Sen picked up a scented candle, sniffed it, made a face, and then put it back as it had personally offended him. 

“Are you planning to buy anything?” Charlie asked.

Sen groaned dramatically. “Nah, I’m over budget this month. We’re just gonna look at stuff, I guess.” His voice dripped with boredom.

Charlie frowned. Wasn’t that the plan? Why did Sen suddenly seem... disappointed? Had he done something wrong?

“Then why did you even want to come?” Charlie asked. “Was there something else you wanted to do?”

Sen hesitated. “Mm, yeah, but… I don’t know if you’d like it.”

Charlie tilted his head. “W-what?”

Sen immediately shut down. “Never mind.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it seem like I’m not having a good time with you.”

Charlie narrowed his eye. “Sen.”

“Hm?”

“Tell me what you planned to do.”

Sen looked away, suddenly very interested in a shelf of discounted socks.

“Well…” Sen looked away before leaning towards Charlie and whispered. “I wasn’t exactly planning to pay for anything I wanted to get.” 

Charlie blinked. “I—what do you—” Then it hit him. Of course, Sen dabbled in shoplifting. Why was he even surprised?

“Sen, really?” Charlie sighed, already feeling a headache forming.

“Don’t lecture me, and don’t you dare snitch on me,” Sen whispered and harshly jabbed an aggressive finger in his direction. “No one’s getting hurt if I take a little pack of gum or a few rings. I always steal from greedy corporations that steal from us anyway.”

Charlie crossed his arms. “You thought I was gonna tell on you?”

“I mean—” Sen paused, shifting uncomfortably. “Sorry to bring him up, but Alpha definitely would, and you were, like, super close to him, so I wasn’t sure if you shared the same morals with this type of shit.”

Charlie nodded in understanding. He could definitely picture Alpha reporting someone for shoplifting—not even out of malice, just because he was Alpha.

“I’m not gonna lecture you or tell on you,” Charlie said. “I don’t care enough to do that.”

Sen grinned. “Knew you were chill—”

“B-but,” Charlie cut in, “I do have to ask… are you even doing it right so you don’t get caught?”

Sen blinked. “Doing it right? What?”

Charlie hesitated, glancing away. His fingers fidgeted with the hem of his sleeve as he cleared his throat. “I-I mean… if you’re going to do it, at least be smart about it,” he said, his voice quieter now. “Don’t go for big things, just small stuff that won’t set off alarms. And, um… don’t steal from the same place too often. That’s how—uh—that’s how people get caught.”

Sen stared at him, a smirk slowly creeping onto his face.

Charlie swallowed, feeling warmth creep up his neck. “And, uh… the best time to do it is when the store is crowded, but not, like… too chaotic. You gotta act normal. Like y-you belong there. If y-you—if you look guilty, then, um… you’re done for.” He shifted uncomfortably under Sen’s growing amusement. “And I don’t know if this is a good place to do it. A lot of stores like this nowadays have security cameras. One good way to get away with it is to use the self-checkout—”

“Hold on!” Sen interrupted, his eyebrows shooting up. “How do you know all of this?” Then, his expression twisted into something both delighted and wicked. “Charlie, did you used to shoplift?”

“I—uh—” Charlie froze. “Uh… I told you I was a little wild in my younger years,” he laughed nervously. “I stopped doing it when my sister told on me to our papa. He was pissed . Mainly because it made us look poor. And we are far from that.”

“You WERE AN ACTUAL PIRATE? AARRR! ” Sen threw his head back, laughing. “That’s hilarious .” His grin stretched wide like he had just uncovered a secret treasure. “I love learning Charlie lore .” Then, his eyes gleamed with mischief. “Okay, we have to do it together now.”

“N-no! I don’t do it anymore.” Charlie shyly looked down. “Sen, I’ve outgrown this. And I bet security is much tighter nowadays.” 

Sen groaned dramatically. “Oh, come on. I have done it here before it’s fine. Just one little thing. For old time’s sake.”

Charlie shook his head, crossing his arms. “No. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You literally just taught me how to do it properly,” Sen smirked. “What, are you a retired legend or something? Do it for fun. For the thrill. For ME!”

“N-no. Go ahead and do your thing, but I’m not part of it.”

Sen hummed, clearly unconvinced. He tilted his head, watching Charlie like he was trying to crack him. Then, with a dramatic sigh, he threw his hands up. “ Fine! Be boring! ” He turned on his heel. “I’m gonna go see what albums they have.” With that, he laughed and walked off, leaving Charlie standing there.

Charlie exhaled, relieved. But as he turned his head, his gaze landed on a display of chapsticks near the counter.

Charlie glanced around the store. His fingers twitched at his sides. No one was around. It would be easy. Just a small thing, something insignificant.

Why was he considering this?

It was stupid.

But at the same time… this store wouldn’t care about a missing chapstick.

His gaze lingered on the display, and his mind drifted back to his teenage years—the years when everything felt out of his control. Back then, he was still seen as a girl. He had already started wondering if he was a boy, but no one listened. No one cared. His papa dismissed it as a phase, making sure he only had what was "appropriate" for a daughter. Pants weren’t allowed. Only skirts or dresses, delicate things that never felt like his own.

His older brothers tormented him. His peers weren’t much better, shoving him into lockers and calling him names that burned like open wounds. There was so much he couldn’t change, so much he had no power over.

But stealing? That had been his choice. His decision. His control.

If he wanted shorts, a cologne sample, or a hoodie that felt right in a way dresses never did, he could just take it. No one could stop him. No one could tell him no. It wasn’t about the things he stole—it was about the act itself.

It was about freedom.

Fuck it.

Charlie glanced around once more, scanning for employees or security cameras. With a practiced ease, he palmed a chapstick, slipping it into his pocket in a single smooth motion. The rush of adrenaline hit him, sharp and familiar, like muscle memory kicking in. He exhaled, forced himself to act casual, and walked away.

Charlie went to find Sen after his criminal act, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets as if that would hide the evidence still lingering in his mind. Sen was quiet, not asking where he had been, and Charlie was grateful for that. They walked side by side through the store, the silence between them oddly comfortable. Charlie fought against the nervous edge in his voice whenever Sen did speak, though Sen didn’t seem to notice anything off.

A few minutes later, they stepped out of the store, the cool air hitting Charlie’s flushed face. He barely reacted when Sen casually linked their arms, swinging them slightly as they walked. Then, with a grin, Sen pulled out a small pack of candy and two pens—things he had obviously not paid for.

“See? You totally should’ve stolen something,” Sen sighed dramatically, examining his loot with a smirk.

Charlie stayed quiet, his heart pounding as he debated whether he could handle Sen’s reaction to the truth. Finally, he sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out the chapstick. He twirled it between his fingers before presenting it to the smaller man, his expression unreadable.

Sen gasped before bursting into laughter. “Oh my God, you menace! You totally still got it.”

Charlie blushed handing the chapstick over. “I’m not going to make a habit of it again.”

“Sure, Chuck. Sure,” Sen teased, snickering as he examined the chapstick. “Strawberry? My favorite. This is gonna be my most prized possession now.”

Charlie huffed out a small laugh, shaking his head. Maybe Sen was a bad influence, but at least he was pushing him to loosen up—to have fun. And for now, that was enough.

As they walked, Charlie found himself watching Sen out of the corner of his eye, taking in the way he moved so effortlessly through the world, unbothered and unapologetic. It reminded him of something he wished he had.

There was a time when he had been reckless, in trying to feel more alive and in control. Sen was making him feel like that version of himself again.

And maybe, just maybe, he liked Sen for that.

Chapter Text

Valentine’s Day arrived, and Charlie had been so caught up with his work that he hadn’t had time to get Sen a birthday gift. Feeling guilty, he woke up early and headed to the department store, hoping to find something last-minute.

As he drove, he thought about how he was supposed to spend time with Sen and his friends later. Meeting new people wasn’t exactly his favorite thing to do. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he promised Sen, and he figured it was better than spending the day alone. At least Beta wouldn’t be there—he had mentioned visiting during spring break instead. 

And Alpha wasn’t going to be there either. Charlie told himself he was relieved about that, but a small part couldn’t help but wonder how Alpha was doing. Not that he was about to ask Sen.

When he arrived, Charlie stepped into the department store, blinking under the bright overhead lights. The place was already busy, filled with men shopping for last-minute Valentine’s gifts and parents yelling at their kids. He sighed, weaving through the crowd as he wandered down the aisles, scanning the shelves for something Sen would like.

The problem was, he didn’t know what Sen liked. He knew the kid was preppy, liked to get into trouble, and had more energy than should be legal, but none of that was helpful when it came to picking out a gift. 

Charlie sighed, rubbing his temple. He picked up a pack of fancy-looking pens, turning them over in his hand before putting them back down. Too boring. A small plush bear caught his eye next, but that felt way too childish. 

He wandered into the accessories section and stopped in front of a display of sunglasses. A sleek, stylish pair stood out to him. These look like something Sen might wear. He vaguely remembered Sen’s last pair looking kind of broken. 

Charlie flipped them over to check the price. Twenty bucks? Yeah, no. He wasn’t paying that much for a pair of sunglasses. 

Casually, he glanced around. The store was quiet this early in the morning, the only other shoppers were too focused on their errands to pay him any mind. He saw no cameras, and the glasses had no security tag. 

Charlie hesitated. Then, before he could talk himself out of it, he palmed the sunglasses and slid them into his hoodie pocket in one smooth motion. His heart kicked up, heat creeping up his neck, shoving his hands in his pockets as he strolled toward another aisle. Just act casual. No one saw anything.

Still, he couldn’t shake the prickling feeling on the back of his neck as he kept walking.

Charlie felt slightly guilty about stealing the sunglasses, so for good measure, he decided to buy Sen a bottle of wine. He didn’t mind spending money on that—besides, it made the gift feel a little more legitimate.

He didn’t want to buy a gift bag, card, or tissue bag. He figured he’d reuse an old gift bag and write out a handwritten card. He hated using unnecessary amounts of packaging when he could be more ethical toward the environment. Besides, Sen probably wouldn’t care about fancy wrapping anyway.

Feeling a little lighter, he headed to the checkout, paid for the wine, and walked out of the store like nothing had happened. The tension in his shoulders eased as he got into his car and pulled onto the road. Now, all he had to do was throw everything together and pretend he had put thought into it.

Not that Sen would mind. If anything, he’d probably love the gifts just for the fact that the sunglasses were another one of Charlie’s shoplifting "treasures." That alone would probably amuse him more than the actual gift itself.

As Charlie drove, he briefly wondered if giving Sen a gift on Valentine’s Day would seem weird to others. It was his birthday, sure, but it was also a day for couples to exchange gifts. Would his friends think anything of it? Would Sen ?

He shook the thought off. It didn’t matter. Hopefully, Sen’s friends would bring him gifts too, so Charlie wouldn’t stand out.

Because at this point, Charlie knew he was getting dangerously close to Sen. He thought about him too much, caught himself anticipating their interactions more than he should. And the worst part? He knew Sen meant it. The flirting wasn’t just for fun—Sen was actually into him. Charlie had already told him no, so it should have been fine.

It wasn’t.

Sen didn’t cross any lines, but he also didn’t stop. The complements, invitations to do things together, and the casual touches. It all chipped away at Charlie’s resolve. And the fact that Charlie still felt something, even if he pretended he didn’t, made it worse.

He exhaled sharply, gripping the wheel a little tighter. It’s fine. It’s nothing. He had already said no. Sen knew that. It wasn’t like anything was going to happen.

No one could read his mind. He did the right thing. There was nothing wrong with staying friends with Senpai. 

Charlie parked and made his way to the door of his home.

Then, he saw him.

Alpha.

He was pacing outside the door, dressed in a tan blazer and navy pants. His hair was slightly disheveled, like he’d been running his hands through it in frustration. A pair of thin-framed glasses rested on his nose. 

Charlie’s breath caught. “W-what are you—?” He froze mid-step.

Alpha spun around at the sound of his voice, his green eyes widening behind the lenses. For a second, he just stood there, like he hadn’t expected to be caught.

“I’m sorry,” Alpha said, his voice quieter than usual. His face flickered with a multitude of emotions. Hesitation, frustration, something else Charlie couldn’t place. His fingers gripped the edge of his blazer like he was trying to hold himself together.

Charlie swallowed, his heart kicking up for reasons he wasn’t ready to deal with. He hadn’t seen Alpha in weeks. Not since—well, he didn’t want to think about that right now.

“What are you doing h-here?” Charlie finally asked, his voice guarded.

Alpha exhaled sharply, his gaze dropping for a moment before meeting Charlie’s again. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “I just… I needed to see you. I know you said you would talk to me when you’re ready, but I was so concerned about you…”

“Oh…” Charlie looked down, trying to fight the rush of conflicting emotions. He was somewhat proud of himself for avoiding Alpha’s texts, but now it made him feel guilty. If Alpha knew what he had been up to, he had a feeling concern would be the last emotion Alpha would be feeling.

Charlie felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to look up. Alpha’s eyes met his, full of something that made Charlie’s heart beat faster but also made his chest tighten.

“I missed you,” Alpha said, his voice soft but laced with sincerity. He smiled sadly. “I don’t like you not being in my life. Especially today.”

Charlie’s stomach twisted. Valentine’s Day. That’s right. He wondered if Alpha had originally planned to spend the day with his fiancée. The thought made Charlie feel too scared and too tired to ask.

He blinked, feeling his eye gloss over with tears, but he fought them back. Without thinking, Charlie set down his bought items and pulled Alpha close to him, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him tight. His breath hitched as he burrowed his face into Alpha’s shoulder, inhaling the mixed aroma of cigarettes and cologne.

For a moment, the world outside melted away. Alpha returned the gesture, squeezing him back, his hand rubbing over Charlie’s back in slow, comforting motions. Charlie felt the tickle of Alpha’s nose against his hair, and it grounded him in a way he didn’t realize he needed.

After a few moments, they let each other go.

“I missed you too. I—” Charlie’s words caught in his throat as Alpha touched his face gently, his thumb tracing the line of Charlie’s jaw.

Alpha leaned in, slowly, almost cautiously. Charlie’s heart skipped a beat, his pulse quickening as he let him. He didn’t stop him. He let him kiss him.

Charlie’s heart fluttered as he returned the kiss, breath catching in his throat. It was everything he wanted, everything he had missed. For a moment, it felt like time had stopped, like maybe they could make everything work again. Like they could just pretend the world didn’t have to complicate things.

But then, suddenly, Alpha pulled away, his eyes darting around.

Charlie blinked, still feeling the warmth of the kiss lingering on his lips. “What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Alpha didn’t answer right away. He swept the area, scanning the street as though looking for something—or someone. His brows furrowed, his jaw tightening.

Then, just as quickly, his expression shifted back to something more familiar—a smirk tugging at his lips as he leaned in slightly. “Should we take this inside~?” he murmured, his voice dripping with implication.

Charlie hesitated, but just for a second. He knew what Alpha was asking. If he said yes, it would mean facing everything—the breakup, the confusion, and the fact that he had almost said yes to Sen. Guilt twisted in his stomach.

But then Alpha gave him that look—the one that was too raw, too real, too undeniable .

Charlie leaned forward, pressing his lips against Alpha’s hard. “Yeah,” he murmured against his lips. “Let’s go inside.”

—--------

Charlie laid against Alpha’s bare shoulder, trying to give him as much space as possible, knowing full well that Alpha wasn’t the biggest cuddler. The glasses resting on Alpha’s nose were slightly askew, and Charlie wondered if he even realized he was still wearing them. The two of them were naked, the sheets tangled around their legs, and they smoked, the soft glow casting fleeting shadows across the bed.

The room felt heavy with silence, but not in an uncomfortable way—more like a pause, as if the world outside didn’t exist, leaving only the two of them in their own bubble.

But without warning, Alpha suddenly sat up, putting out his cigarette in the ashtray beside him. The motion made Charlie's gaze follow the outline of his back, his muscles flexing and relaxing beneath the dim light of the room. Charlie’s heart quickened, but there was something else, too—an odd, sudden feeling, almost like an impulse.

“Al?” Charlie felt a burst of boldness surge through him, his voice betraying the hesitation he usually kept hidden.

“Yes?” Alpha’s voice was low, almost sleepy.

Charlie took a deep breath, pushing through the uncertainty. “Do you w-want to move in together?”

Alpha’s eyebrows furrowed, and a frown tugged at the corners of his lips. He turned his head slightly, but his eyes remained fixed on the distance, confused. “Why would we do that?”

Charlie swallowed, the knot in his stomach tightening, but he forced himself to speak, to make the suggestion. “Because… y-you want to make this work now. And I t-think it’s better if we just j-jump ahead and move in together.”

Alpha stared at him for a long moment, his expression unreadable. Then, he exhaled, running a hand through his already messy hair. The glasses slipped slightly down his nose, but he didn’t bother adjusting them. Without another word, he turned his back fully away from Charlie, moving to sit on the side of the bed. The soft rustle of fabric filled the silence as he reached for his underpants and pulled them on.

Charlie’s stomach sank, his heart tightening as the silence between them grew heavier.

Charlie couldn’t speak, unsure of what to say or how to fix whatever he had just broken. But he couldn’t shake the feeling of something slipping away.

Finally, Alpha spoke, his voice quieter than before. Almost hesitant, as if he was choosing his words carefully. 

“Charlie, you misunderstood…”

“What? W- what do you mean?” Charlie’s voice was small, almost desperate for clarity.

“This wasn’t… I do miss you, but that still doesn’t mean…” Alpha's words trailed off, and he turned his face away, his expression blank. “I’m still marrying Mira.”

Charlie's heart plummeted. It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving only the sound of his breathing—shaky and uneven. He sat up slowly, the cigarette in his fingers burning close to the filter, but he didn't even feel the heat.

"You’re joking," Charlie said, his voice hollow.

Alpha didn't answer. He just kept his back turned, his posture tense, like he was bracing for impact.

Charlie let out a breathless laugh, shaking his head. "Y-you. You came here. You kissed me. We—" His words broke off, the weight of what just happened pressing against his chest like a boulder.  What the h-hell, Alpha?"

Alpha finally turned to face him, and Charlie hated that he still looked so damn composed—like this wasn’t tearing him apart too. "I told you I missed you. I meant that." His eyes softened. "But this… whatever this was, it doesn’t change anything."

Charlie felt sick. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets tightly in his fists. He forced himself to look at Alpha, even though it hurt. "I was just a relapse? A mistake? Just—one last time before you commit?"

Alpha flinched but didn't deny it. And that was enough.

Charlie felt like the ground beneath him had just shifted. He bit his tongue, fighting back the sting of emotion. Without saying another word, he turned away, searching for his clothes, his movements sharp and hurried. He wasn’t sure what to say or if there was anything left to say at all.

“Charlie—” Alpha started, his voice thick with regret.

But Charlie couldn’t meet his eyes. He kept his gaze fixed on the floor, pulling his clothes on as fast as he could, his hands trembling, shaking as he tried to keep himself together. The room felt too small, the air too heavy with unspoken words.

“W-why did you… Why did w-we?” Charlie’s voice cracked as the question slipped out before he could stop it. He didn’t want to hear Alpha's answer, yet he couldn't stop himself from asking. He quickly tugged on his shirt, forcing the fabric over his head, doing his best not to look at Alpha.

His hands wouldn’t stop shaking, 

“Listen, hear me out,” Alpha rushed to him, grabbing his hands and forcing him to look up at him. “I should’ve been more clear. I’ve been in a dark place these last few weeks. Seeing you right now is lighting up my world. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

Charlie scowled, trying to pull his hands away, but Alpha held on tighter, his grip unyielding. The glasses on Alpha’s face caught the dim light, making his sharp green eyes look even more intense.

“Maybe you should just go,” Charlie mumbled, his voice tight with emotion. He refused to look at him.

“No. Listen…” Alpha’s grip remained firm. “I’ve been thinking. Just because I’m with her doesn’t mean we have to give up on this. Maybe we could—”

“What the fuck, Alpha!” Charlie roughly snatched his hands away, his voice rising as something hot and ugly twisted in his chest. “That’s awful!”

Alpha flinched but quickly recovered, his frown deepening. “You always told me gay men used to have to do this throughout history,” he countered, like he thought that was some kind of justification.

“That doesn’t mean anything!” Charlie snapped, his breath coming in quick bursts, his hands curling into fists. His face felt hot, his body shaking with a mix of rage and disbelief. “Why would u-you think I would agree to that? Do you think you’re that amazing?” 

“I mean…” Alpha started, but Charlie cut him off.

“Get over yourself, Alpha.”

Alpha’s lips parted slightly, his expression wavering for the first time. He looked caught between defensiveness and something else—something more fragile. But Charlie didn’t care.

“Why don’t you… I don’t know. Just fucking be with me?” Charlie pointed to himself, his voice shaking with frustration.

“Oh wow, so you do care.” Alpha rolled his eyes, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“W-what?!” Charlie’s voice broke with disbelief.

“When I broke up with you, you didn’t attempt to argue for us. You weren’t mad. You weren’t anything. You avoided even talking to me for weeks! How do you think that made me feel?! Maybe you should’ve thought that it made me feel like you didn’t even want me at all. So, I’m glad now I see that anger from you—that you care.”

Charlie stared at him, a rush of emotions colliding. Guilt stabbed at him, but it quickly turned into anger.

“I wasn’t mad because I didn’t know where to begin, Alpha! I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel! Do you even know me, Al?! You know how much of a fucking pushover I am! You always get your way. It’s always about you. No one else matters. Of course, I’m not going to say anything because it doesn’t even matter!” Charlie’s voice trembled, his words hitting with raw hurt.

Alpha fell silent, his gaze softening slightly, but Charlie wasn’t done.

“Now you expect me to just jump back in?! To be okay with you being with someone else? That’s not how this works! You’re going to regret this decision for the rest of your life. You’re going to make yourself miserable and everyone else around you, too. I know you weren’t going to be able to handle being with a woman . How did you even think you could pretend? How the hell are you going to have sex with her?” Charlie’s voice cracked on the last part.

“It’s not going to be a big deal,” Alpha scoffed. “I bet there’s not much of a difference in having sex with a woman compared to having sex with you.”

Charlie froze, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Wait—” Alpha’s face twisted in realization. “I didn’t mean it like—”

Before Alpha could finish, Charlie’s hand shot out, aggressively slapping Alpha’s away as he shoved him back.

Charlie couldn’t breathe, his throat constricting as a flood of emotions, everything he had buried deep inside, rushed to the surface. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, and for a moment, he wanted to throw something—anything—to make the hurt go away. But the words were already out. The damage had been done.

“Alpha,” Charlie’s voice was strained, his hands shaking. “Get out. Go before I do something I’ll regret. Don’t call me. Don’t come here ever again.”

His words were final—sharp, cutting, leaving no room for argument.

“No.” Alpha pleaded. “Come on, we need to talk about this.”

“Get the f-fuck out of here, you narcissist,” Charlie snapped, pointing toward the door, his voice cold and unwavering. 

Alpha's eyes darted in panic before he let out a bitter laugh, running a hand through his hair. His expression darkened, his eyes sharp like daggers. “You wanna act all high and mighty now? After everything?” He scoffed. “Sure, I fucked up but you think you’re better than me? Please. You’re just a pathetic, spineless little coward who hides behind his misery.”

Charlie stiffened, his nails digging into his palms.

“Go,” he breathed again, quieter this time.

Alpha tilted his head, his lips curling into something cruel. “Things could have been different if you had a spine. If you made me want to stay with you. You know that, right?” He let the words settle, watching for a reaction before turning on his heel and storming out. The door slammed behind him, rattling the walls.

Charlie flinched, the sound echoing in his head long after Alpha was gone.

Once the door shut behind him, Charlie just stood there, staring at the space. He surprised himself when no tears fell, when he didn’t feel a rush of sadness. What he felt instead was rage. Pure, unfiltered rage.

His apartment suddenly felt too small, too suffocating. He couldn’t stop noticing the little things—the objects scattered around that Alpha had given him when they were together. At some point, he must have grown desensitized to them, probably because he had still clung to some hope that there was more to their relationship.

Charlie grumbled under his breath, marching over to grab a trash bag. He began throwing everything that reminded him of Alpha into it. Old gifts, mementos, little things that had once meant something. Now, they were just reminders of how he had been fooled. When the bag was full, he tossed it against the wall in annoyance, the sound of it hitting the drywall almost satisfying.

Adrenaline still coursed through his veins, the heat of anger refusing to dissipate. He couldn’t just sit here with the storm inside him. If he didn’t do something now, he knew he’d explode.

Charlie stood there, staring at the dumpster, his breath heavy. The anger inside him wasn’t fading—it was simmering, burning hotter, turning into something sharper. He wasn’t just mad. He wanted revenge.

If Alpha thought he could play with him, throw him aside like he was nothing, then Charlie would remind him just how wrong he was. 

How wrong was he about him not having a spine? 

How wrong he was about him never being able to get what he wanted?

His hands clenched into fists at his sides as a dangerous thought crept in.

Senpai. 

 The one who had always been a source of happiness these last few weeks after going through a depressive spill. The one who looked at him like he was something special, who flirted in that effortless, charming way. 

Charlie pulled out his phone, his fingers hovering over Sen’s number. He hesitated, his rational side screaming at him to stop, to not do something stupid. But then he remembered Alpha’s smug voice, his dismissive tone. .

Screw it.

He tapped the screen and brought the phone to his ear. It rang twice before Sen picked up, his voice light and teasing.

“Chuck?”

Charlie swallowed, steadying himself. “Are you busy?”

“No, I'm getting ready for tonight! You better not be calling me to cancel.”

“No,” Charlie hesitated. “I am coming over now.” 

There was a brief pause on the other end before Sen spoke again, his voice laced with curiosity. “Early, huh?” 

“Y-yes.”  

“Well, I’m not exactly dressed, but for you, I’ll make an exception.”

Charlie’s grip on the phone tightened. His heart was pounding, but whether it was from nerves or the lingering anger toward Alpha, he wasn’t sure.

“I’ll be there soon,” he said, keeping his tone even.

As Charlie ended the call, he exhaled sharply, trying to push down the mix of emotions swirling inside him. 

Sen had no idea what Charlie was thinking, no clue that this had nothing to do with him and everything to do with revenge. Charlie knew it was wrong, that Sen didn’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire of his bitterness. But right now, he didn’t care. If Alpha could throw him aside like he was nothing, then Charlie would show him just how easily he could do the same.

Chapter Text

As soon as Sen opened the door, Charlie rushed in, pushing past him before he could even get a word out.

"Woah—what?" Sen barely had time to react before Charlie grabbed him by the collar, shoving him back against the door. He gasped, startled, but his hands instinctively reached Charlie’s waist. "Are you okay—"

Charlie cut him off, crashing their lips together. Sen made a surprised noise against his mouth but didn’t push away. Instead, his fingers tightened around Charlie’s hips as he kissed back, hungry and eager. Their lips moved, teeth clashing, and hands roaming.

Charlie was the one to break away first, breathing heavily. His lips were swollen, his face flushed. "I—I want to take you up on your offer," he muttered, avoiding Sen’s gaze. The weight of wrongness still clung to him, nagging at the edges of his mind, but the pull was stronger. The need to feel something, to feel wanted, drowned out the doubt. "Happy birthday... and Valentine's Day."

Sen’s grip on him tightened. He reached his hand up to tilt Charlie’s chin down, forcing him to look at him. Charlie braced himself, expecting Sen to pry, to ask what had changed his mind. But he didn’t.

For once, Sen didn’t say a word.

Instead, he leaned in, pressing slow, deliberate kisses against Charlie’s neck. His lips were warm, soft, and teasing as they traced along his skin, sending a shiver down Charlie’s spine. Charlie’s hands fisted in the fabric of Sen’s shirt, his breathing unsteady.

Sen moved lower, his mouth ghosting over Charlie’s collarbone, biting down just enough to make Charlie gasp. "You sure about this, Chuck?" he murmured against his skin, voice low, laced with something dangerously enticing.

Charlie swallowed hard, his mind foggy, his body burning. He nodded, fingers slipping beneath Sen’s shirt, feeling the heat of his skin.

"Yeah," he breathed. "Don’t make me think right now."

Sen chuckled against his neck, his breath sending another shiver through him. "Oh, I can do that."

Charlie jumped in surprise when he felt Sen's knee lift to brush against him between his legs. The sensation sent tingles of pleasure through his body, and he could feel himself getting wet. He tried to shift his position, but Sen's knee was still pressed against him, sending waves of pleasure through his body.

Charlie's eyes fluttered closed, and he let out a soft moan, his hands tightening on Sen's shoulders. He couldn't believe how good it felt, how much pleasure Sen was giving him. For a guy who was so young, Charlie could tell immediately that he was skilled in intimacy.

"How do you want to do this?" Sen said against his skin, his voice low and husky, before snickering. "My friends are going to come over soon. Should I cancel?"

Charlie's face grew hot with embarrassment, and he flustered, trying to come up with an answer. "N-no. No!" he stuttered, his voice shaking slightly. "W-we wouldn't want to disappoint them."

“Always the people pleaser.” Sen pressed his lip up to his ear again before nibbling softly. “What do you want to do then?” 

Images flashed in Charlie's mind, rapid and heated, as he considered just how far he wanted to take this. One thing was certain—he didn’t want to be the one penetrated right now. Even with how wet he was getting, the idea made his stomach twist. Not after what had happened with Alpha. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle that for a while.

But at the same time, he couldn’t exactly top Sen right now, either.  Anal was a delicate, calculated process, not something they both could rush into. Especially if one of them has never done it.

Wait. Had Sen even done it before?

Charlie swallowed, his face heating up as he forced himself to ask, "Sen…" His voice was barely above a whisper. "Have y-you done anal before?"

Sen froze, his movements pausing as he slowly lowered the leg he’d had between Charlie’s. "Oh, um," he hesitated. "I’ve done it with a girl before. Never on the receiving end."

Charlie swallowed hard. So, Sen was new to that. Then, no question—it was off the agenda. Even if he had been ready, Charlie had forgotten to bring his tools anyway. His strap-on, lube, everything. It wasn't happening tonight.

"I want to be the one to fuck you," Charlie stated clearly, his voice firm as he stroked Sen’s arm. "But not tonight. I can't. And you're not ready either."

Sen’s gaze dropped, his expression unreadable as he processed Charlie’s words. Was he thinking about what Charlie had said, or was he reconsidering the idea altogether?

"Do you… not want to do that ever?" Charlie asked, his voice softer now.

Sen looked back up, meeting his eyes directly. "No, I’m interested. And I get what you're saying." He exhaled. "But what does that mean right now?"

Charlie took a deep breath, trying to explain. "I don’t want to be topped right now either. I just... want to do other things."

Sen nodded. "Guess we’ll have to improvise. Not like I mind."

Charlie nodded back, feeling a sense of relief. "O-okay," he murmured.

Sen reached for Charlie’s chest, his fingers toying with the button of his shirt before slipping it open.

Charlie caught his wrist before he could go any further. "But I don’t like taking my shirt off," he admitted, feeling a surge of anxiety rush through him.

Sen paused immediately, his teasing smirk absent for once. He met Charlie’s gaze, quiet and understanding.

"Got it," he said simply, retracting his hand without hesitation. Instead, he let his palm smooth over Charlie’s waist, grounding him. "We’ll keep it on."

Charlie exhaled, some of the tension in his body easing. He hadn't expected Sen to accept it so easily, but he was grateful.

"S-sorry," Charlie stuttered, a mix of relief and embarrassment bubbling up in him. "It’s just—"

"It's fine! Maybe next time. I’m a guy who loves nipples," Sen said with a playful tilt of his head, his grin returning—softer this time. "But there’s still plenty we can do without that, you know."

Charlie swallowed, his hands twitching slightly before he reached for the hem of Sen’s shirt. "Then I can take yours off," he murmured.

Sen didn’t protest as Charlie tugged the fabric up and over his head, leaving his smooth skin bare. His chest rose and fell steadily, his body relaxed, but his eyes stayed locked on Charlie’s face.

Sliding his hands down Charlie’s sides, Sen let his fingers dip just under the hem of his shirt—but he didn’t push further. Instead, he hesitated.

"Are you really sure about this?" he asked again. His voice was light, but there was a quiet seriousness beneath it, like he was giving Charlie an easy way out.

Charlie hated that question. He didn’t want to think, to hesitate, or to feel like he was being given an out. He just wanted something—someone—to fill the empty, angry space inside of him.

"Yeah," he murmured, leaning in, pressing his lips to Sen's once more. "Are you?"

Sen grinned against his mouth, a hint of mischief in his eyes. "Yeah, I'm not the kind of guy to turn down a Valentine's gift."

Charlie's hands moved lower, his fingers unbuttoning Sen's pants and then sliding inside them. He was semi-hard. Sen's eyes snapped open, his gaze locking onto Charlie's as he felt the warmth of Charlie's hand tease the outside of his boxers. Charlie's fingers stroked him gently, coaxing a groan from Sen's lips.

As Charlie's hand moved up and down, Sen's hips began to rock, his body responding to the touch. Charlie's mouth descended, his lips brushing against Sen's, and then deepening into a kiss. Sen's tongue tangled with Charlie's, their mouths moving in perfect sync.

Sen snaked his hand close to the edge of Charlie’s pants. But before he could sneak his hand inside. Charlie jolted away, causing Sen to look up at him in confusion. 

“Is it okay if I just t-touch you tonight?” Charlie sighed. He dreaded that he was ruining the moment with so many demands. Though he enjoyed sex, he typically found himself nervous when it was a new person touching him. Too many anxieties about how the other person would see his body. And especially with the added context of this encounter. “It’s y-your birthday after all.” 

Sen blinked in surprise before his grin returned. “Damn, Charlie. I didn’t know you were such a giver.”

Charlie rolled his eye, trying to mask his nerves. “For now… for tonight. I’m not ready. Just s-shut up and let me do something nice for you.”

“Alright, alright. I won’t complain. Do whatever you want.” His voice dropped slightly, teasing.

Charlie exhaled, pushing away the lingering doubts clawing at the back of his mind. This wasn’t about love, feelings, or anything that deep. This was just something to do—something to make him feel in control again. And Sen? Sen wasn’t going to ask questions.

And that’s exactly what he needed right now.

Charlie pressed his lips to Sen’s neck, trailing his fingers down his stomach before lowering himself to his knees. The height difference made it a little awkward, but it sufficed. He reached up to tie his hair back, his fingers trembling.

Sen watched him. “Nervous?” he teased.

Charlie scoffed, masking his uncertainty with irritation. “S-shut up. It’s been a while since I’ve done something like this.”

Sen looked at him, clearly full of questions but self-aware enough to know it would be awkward and inappropriate to ask.

Charlie hated thinking about it, especially now. But his sex life with Alpha had been… admittedly vanilla and stale. Alpha never wanted it often, and when he did, it was routine, predictable, and completely lacking in experimentation. He had even expressed disgust at the idea of going down on each other, making it clear that he had no interest in that kind of intimacy. Charlie hadn’t minded at the time; he was tired of relationships that revolved around sex. But still, it had left him feeling… something. Judged? Unwanted? Unsatisfied? Bored? Maybe just disconnected.

Now, with Sen looking at him with open interest, with none of the hesitation or resistance Alpha had, Charlie felt something stir inside him.

“I’m o-okay,” Charlie reassured, more to himself than to Sen.

Charlie's heart skipped a beat at Sen's words, and he felt himself becoming lost in the moment. He leaned forward, his lips brushing against Sen's stomach, and began to lick and kiss his way down. Sen's eyes fluttered closed, and he let out a soft moan, his body relaxing into Charlie's touch.

As Charlie continued to kiss and lick Sen's skin, he felt his doubts and uncertainties melt away. He was lost in the sensation of Sen's body and the pleasure that they were sharing.

Charlie gently pulled down Sen’s pants, revealing his boxers underneath. He could see the outline of Sen's cock straining against the fabric, and he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement.

Without hesitation, Charlie reached out and pulled Sen's cock out of his boxers, revealing its average size length. Charlie felt his face flush in surprise as he took in the sight of Sen's cock.

He wrapped his fingers around Sen's cock, feeling its warmth and hardness in his hand. He began to stroke it gently, feeling Sen's hips move in response.

As Charlie continued to stroke Sen's cock, he leaned in, his lips parting as he licked the precum on his head. Sen let out a small noise from his throat. Charlie then proceeded to take Sen's length into his mouth. He felt a surge of pleasure as he tasted Sen's skin.

Charlie continued to shallowly bob his head up and down Sen's length, his movements gentle but eager. He could feel Sen's cock growing harder in his mouth.

Boldness overtook him as he pushed forward to take the full length down his throat, his nose burying into the other man’s pubic hair.

 Sen let out a surprised noise, his eyes widening in shock. "Ahh!" he gasped, pulling his hair back to stop him. "S-slow down. Don't hurt yourself!"

Charlie pulled away, looking up at Sen with a mischievous glint in his eye. Sen was covering his mouth, his face beet red with embarrassment.

"C-can't handle it?" Charlie teased, a sly smile spreading across his face.

"S-shut up! I'm j-just looking out for you," Sen stuttered, his cheeks growing even redder.

Charlie trailed his tongue down Sen's length, his touch sending shivers down Sen's spine. "Have you sucked cock before?" he asked, his voice low and husky.

"N-no," Sen admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Then shhhh," Charlie said, his tone playful but firm. "You don't know what you're talking about. But you better be learning, because I'll make you do this to me next time." He paused, looking up. "And I won't go easy on you."

Sen's face reddened deeper, and he unexpectedly didn't respond. Charlie felt a sense of anxiety that he possibly went too far. His eye softened in question, looking at Sen in concern.

But then Sen spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper. "I... look forward to that." He fought out the words, his face still flushed with embarrassment. "Sorry, I'm out of it. I'm okay. Keep going, please. It feels really good."

Charlie smiled, feeling relief wash over him. He leaned back in, his mouth closing around the tip of Sen's cock once again. As he began to move, he felt a sense of accomplishment at their sudden shift in dominance. 

As he listened to Sen's gasps and moans, Charlie continued to bop his head. Sometimes taking the full length down his throat. Soon enough, Sen's grip tightened.

"I'm going to come," Sen mumbled his warning, his voice trembling with anticipation.

Charlie took his mouth off Sen's penis and sat back on his knees, moving his hand up and down to finish him off. He stroked Sen's cock until he came, letting his load shoot onto his tongue. Charlie swallowed it without flinching, his eye locked on Sen's face as he watched him come apart. Sen's eyes fluttered with exhaustion, and he let out a deep sigh of relief.

"I need to sit down," Sen muttered, his voice weak with exertion. He slid his back down the wall, ending up on the floor across from Charlie. His breath was still uneven as he ran a hand through his hair. "Thank you for that. That was amazing."

He leaned in and pressed a quick peck to Charlie’s lips.

Charlie swallowed, his heart still pounding. "Y-you’re welcome," he murmured as Sen pulled away. He raised a hand to his lips, his fingers tracing over them as a chill ran down his spine. His arousal and adrenaline were fading fast, leaving something heavy in their place.

What did he just do?

Sen shifted to pull on his boxers and pants, letting out a satisfied sigh. He stretched his legs out before glancing at Charlie.

"That was the best head I’ve ever gotten in my life," he said, his voice still breathy. Then, after a beat, he added, "Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything for you?"

Charlie didn’t answer. Everything was catching up to him—the ache in his knees, the sticky feeling on his face, the weight of it all settling in his chest.

He was staring past Sen, at the wall, past the present moment entirely. The air felt thick, suffocating, like the walls were closing in around him. His skin was still flushed from the heat of it all, his body still tingling in the aftermath, but inside, something was sinking.

His mind raced, running over what had just happened, what he had just done.

Charlie looked down at his hand. He finally forced himself to glance at Sen’s. His mind went blank, and he couldn't focus on anything. He just stared at Sen, his eye unfocused and unseeing.

Sen looked at him with concern, trying to get his attention. "Hey, Charlie, are you okay?" he asked, his voice soft and gentle.

Charlie blinked. His vision refocused, landing on Sen’s concerned face. He parted his lips to speak, to say yes, of course, I’m fine, but the words stuck in his throat.

Because he wasn’t fine.

And he had no idea what to do about it.

“Charlie?” Sen reached out and squeezed his shoulder. 

Charlie snapped back to reality, forcing a smile that felt stiff on his face. "Yeah, I'm good," he said, his voice a little too bright, too forced. He gently took Sen’s hand off him, giving it a small squeeze before letting go. "I just need to... uh... go to the bathroom. Can I use your shower?"

Sen hesitated, his brows furrowing slightly. "Uh, sure, Charlie—"

"I'll be right back," Charlie cut in, standing up a little too fast. His legs felt unsteady, but he forced himself to move, his steps quick and purposeful as he left the room.

As soon as he was out of sight, he let out a deep breath, his entire body tensing before shuddering from the release. His chest was tight, painfully tight, and he didn’t know how to make it stop. His breathing was shallow, his skin too hot and too cold at the same time.

He needed to get away. Just for a moment. Just long enough to calm down.

He walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him with shaking fingers. The sound of the lock clicking into place sent a small wave of relief through him. At least he was alone.

Charlie turned on the shower, the rush of water filling the space, a desperate attempt to drown out any sounds of his distress. He leaned against the sink, gripping the edges so tightly his knuckles turned white. His reflection in the mirror stared back at him. His flushed skin and lips were swollen from using his mouth to please Sen.

What was wrong with him?

His chest heaved as he tried to suck in a deep breath, but it wasn’t enough. The air was too thick. He felt like he was coming apart at the seams, like if he let go of the sink, he’d crumble to the floor.

He had just hooked up with Sen, and now he was having a panic attack.

What the fuck had he just done?

His stomach twisted violently. It wasn’t just that he had hooked up with Sen. It was his motivation for doing so . It was the fact that he had thrown himself at him, desperate to erase the sound of Alpha’s voice in his head and get off at the idea he was winning by fucking his brother.

It was pathetic. It was disgusting.

He had just taken advantage of Sen. Plain and simple. Dragged him into this mess just so he could feel something other than the deep, gnawing emptiness inside.

And the worst part? Sen had no idea. Sen didn’t know that just moments ago, Charlie had slept with his older brother.

His stomach lurched.

Sen had wanted this before—he’d made that clear. But not like this. Not like some pathetic second choice in a war Charlie had already lost.

He wasn’t much better than Alpha. 

Charlie dug his fingers into his hair and yanked, hard. A sharp, stinging pain shot through his scalp as a small chunk of hair tore free. The brief shock of it grounded him, cutting through the wave of disgust curling in his stomach. He stared at the strands in his trembling fingers before wiping at his face, breath shuddering as he moved to sit on the toilet.

Breathe. Just breathe.

Charlie squeezed his eye shut, forcing himself to inhale slowly through his nose and out through his mouth. He just needed to get through this, to push it all down like he always did.

Then he could figure out what to do next.

He needed to wash it off. He needed to feel normal.

Charlie could hear Sen moving around outside the bathroom, probably getting dressed. He dreaded the questions that Sen was going to ask.

He had to be prepared for that.

Charlie knew in his heart that he wasn’t going to tell him the truth. At least right now. He wasn’t ready to watch Sen realize why he had really come to him tonight.

There had to be a better time. A moment where it wouldn’t shatter everything all at once.

He didn’t want to ruin Sen’s birthday. Sen deserved to have a good birthday.

And if he was being honest, he didn’t want to deal with what came next.

Charlie had seen Sen’s angry side before, and it wasn’t pretty. Sen was explosive. Charlie didn’t want to be on the receiving end of that, not tonight, not when everything already felt so goddamn heavy. He wouldn’t be emotionally prepared to deescalate him.

And then there was Alpha. If Sen found out now, he might go to him. The last thing Charlie needed tonight was for this mess to spiral into something bigger.

The last thing he needed to hear was Alpha saying he was right about.

Maybe tonight, he would force himself to have a good time with Sen. Have one last moment of pretending, of holding onto something before he finally accepted the inevitable.

Before he accepted that his relationship with all three of the Senpai brothers was over.

His stomach turned at the thought.

God. Beta…

Beta would hate him if he knew. If he found out what was going on. Charlie didn’t even want to think about what he’d say. What he’d do.

He had fucked both of his brothers.

Charlie’s hand shot up before he could stop himself, slapping his face with enough force to leave a faint red mark. His skin stung, but it wasn’t enough. It didn’t fix anything. He prayed the mark would fade after a shower.

Forcing himself to move, he stood up on shaky legs and pulled off his clothes. The second he stepped under the water, a breath shuddered out of him, the warmth wrapping around his skin.

It’s just a shower. That’s all. You’re just washing off the sweat.

And cum…

Charlie gagged, spitting bile into the tub. His body lurched again, dry heaving, but there was nothing left to throw up.

He gritted his teeth, squeezing his eye shut as he pressed his forehead against the cold tile.

You’re disgusting.

He scrubbed at his skin, harder than necessary, dragging his nails down his arms, his chest. As if he could scrape away the wrongness, the guilt festering inside him. But no matter how much he washed, the feeling wouldn’t leave.

Even worse, he knew he couldn’t take it back.

Charlie turned off the water, his skin still raw from how hard he had scrubbed. He stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist, his reflection in the fogged-up mirror barely visible.

Good.

He didn’t want to see himself right now.

As he ran a hand through his long, wet hair, he groaned, realizing he should’ve tied it up. His fingers tangled in the damp strands, and he cursed under his breath, frustrated that he didn’t have his brush or any of his usual products.

At least he felt somewhat better. Though "better" was a stretch. He still felt awful, but at least it wasn’t a panic attack. The shower grounded him, forcing his chaotic, panicked feelings to be buried beneath the surface. It didn’t fix anything, but it was something.

A knock at the door made him flinch, the sound pulling him back to reality.

“Charlie?” Sen’s voice was cautious but firm, like he was already bracing for something. “You, okay?”

“Yeah,” Charlie called back, forcing his voice to sound steady, even though he could feel the tightness in his chest. “Give me a second, let me get dressed.”

“Alrighty,” Sen answered. Charlie could hear the concern in it.

Charlie dried off quickly, his movements rushed and clumsy. He pulled on his clothes, the fabric sticking uncomfortably to his damp skin. His hands were still shaking slightly as he buttoned up his shirt, and when he glanced at his reflection in the mirror, he saw a pale face, a tangled mess of hair, and—worse—he realized he’d forgotten his eye patch at home.

Great.

With a deep breath, he ran his fingers through his wet hair, pushing it back the best he could before giving up. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

He opened the door and walked to find Sen in his kitchen. Sen was putting away dishes from the dishwasher, looking up as Charlie entered. He was wearing a different outfit than before. His expression was unreadable, but his eyes were searching, like he was trying to piece together what was going on in Charlie’s head.

“Sorry, I—I t-think... t-think, think. I forgot your gift at home,” Charlie blurted out before he could stop himself.

Sen raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. Of course, he wasn’t. It was the dumbest fucking excuse ever.

There was a beat of silence.

Then, Sen sighed. “That’s not it.” His tone wasn’t accusing, just certain. “And I’m pretty sure whatever you got me won’t beat what you just gave me.”

“Y-yeah.” Charlie flushed, his words trailing off.

“But I won’t push you,” Sen said, raising his hands. “But I am worried.”

Charlie exhaled slowly. He wasn’t ready to admit the real reason he was falling apart. But Sen deserved to know what was going on, especially after he ruined their first moment together. Maybe he could start by explaining his mental state. His depression and anxiety weren’t excuses, but they did somewhat explain why he was acting this way.

“It’s... nothing. I mean, not nothing, but—it’s just my head being stupid.”

Sen didn’t interrupt.

Charlie hesitated before sighing. He suddenly remembered something, something that was the truth and part of the reason he hadn’t been able to handle anything lately. “I haven’t been taking my m-meds.” The words rushed out, his throat tightening. “Not on purpose. I just keep forgetting, especially with how much has been going on with me. And then when I do remember, it’s already been a while, and I think, ‘What’s the point?’ And then it just... keeps going.”

“Aw, I didn’t know you took that stuff, but it doesn’t surprise me.” Sen’s face softened. “That’s not nothing, Charlie.”

Charlie looked away, hating himself more with the concern Sen was offering him. He didn’t deserve it. “Yeah, well. It’s not an excuse either.”

Sen didn’t argue. He just nodded, accepting it without judgment. “You should get back on them.”

Charlie let out a humorless chuckle. “Yeah. Probably.”

Another beat of silence passed before Sen sighed. “Look, I’m not going to force you to talk, but... You don’t have to pretend with me, okay? If something’s wrong, you can just say it. Dude, I MOST LIKELY know what’s going on and what you’re upset about. You don’t have to say it. I know this shit is a little weird. It’s okay!”

Charlie swallowed. Yeah, Sen probably knew it had something to do with Alpha, but he didn’t know how the situation had changed.

But all he did was nod. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Do you want a hug?”

“Mmm. That would be nice… But—“

Sen’s expression softened, and without another word, he pulled Charlie into a quick hug. Charlie let him, even with the intense guilt he felt. The gesture was brief but comforting, a silent reassurance that he wasn’t alone. Something he didn’t deserve.

Sen pulled away. “Charlie, it’s going to be—”

A doorbell rang, and a knock caused them both to jump.

“OH shit, it’s my friends,” Sen rubbed his face. “Do you want me to tell them to meet us there… or do you want me to say it’s canceled? I don’t mind rescheduling—”

“NO! Please, it would make me feel worse if you did that for me.”

“You sure?” Sen asked, tilting his head.

Charlie forced a tight-lipped smile. “I’ll be fine. It’s your birthday. You should have fun.”

Sen hesitated before asking, “Do you… want to go home or stay here? You don’t have to come out with us.”

“I—” Charlie hesitated, knowing that leaving was probably the best option. But deep down, he also knew Sen wouldn’t want that. He didn’t want to disappoint him, especially after everything Sen had done for him. He didn’t want to be the one to ruin this, even if it felt like everything inside him was telling him to retreat. He took a breath, trying to quiet the anxiety twisting in his gut. “I’ll go.”

Sen studied him for a moment, clearly seeing the conflict, before sighing. “Alright. But if you want to bail, just say the word, okay?”

Charlie nodded, though a part of him still wished he could stay locked away in his room. But he couldn’t let Sen down. Not today.

“Hey, Chuck.”

Charlie glanced up at Sen, still trying to hide how much he was struggling with everything. Sen took one look at him and cracked a smile.

“You kind of look like a red lobster,” Sen teased, his tone light and playful.

Charlie blinked. “W-what?”

“You must love hot showers.”

Charlie winced, glancing down at his arm. His skin was definitely pink from the hot water, and he had scrubbed a little too aggressively.

“Great. Just what I need—more attention.” He chuckled nervously, though it was forced.

“I like lobster, especially with butter,” Sen said, stretching his arms above his head with a lazy grin. “Ugh, too bad I couldn’t take a shower. I probably smell like spunk.”

Charlie stiffened. “O-oh. I’m sorry—”

Sen snickered, clearly enjoying how flustered Charlie looked. “I’m joking. Some of those bitches at the door are my fuck buddies anyway. They know how I smell.”

Charlie swallowed hard, unsure whether that made things better or worse. He didn’t know how to react to Sen’s casual mention of his other partners. Expectantly, a weird pang of jealousy stirred in him, a feeling he couldn’t explain. Jealousy wasn’t exactly ideal to add to the mix of complicated emotions already festering inside him. He didn’t deserve to feel jealous—not after what he had just done.

Sure, Sen was pretty and had been a nice friend, but he never had deep feelings for him like he did for Alpha, nor did he want to be with him. He had done it out of spite, and now he was feeling jealous? It didn’t make sense.

Charlie took a deep breath, trying to shake off the feeling.

Sen flashed him a grin before heading toward the door. As soon as he was gone, Charlie let out a slow breath, running a hand over his face.

The second he heard the door swing open and the flood of voices spill inside, he knew that this night was only going to become more miserable.

Chapter Text

Charlie barely mumbled a response as Sen introduced him to the group. The only person he recognized was Leni—a tall girl with gorgeous dark skin and neatly braided hair. He remembered that Sen used to date her.

Including Leni, there were three girls and two guys. Sen’s friends carried themselves with effortless confidence, chatting and laughing like they belonged there. Meanwhile, Charlie felt like an outsider the second their eyes landed on him.

At least in a crowd full of extroverts, he could blend into the background.

Or so he thought.

Before Charlie could fully register the weight of their stares, Sen turned to him with a quick, almost apologetic smile. "Hey, I need to talk to Leni alone about something. Just grab a drink and chill for a bit, okay?"

Charlie hesitated but nodded. "Y-yeah, s-sure."

"Cool, I'll be back," Sen said before slipping away toward Leni.

Charlie wasted no time putting distance between himself and the group. He weaved around the furniture, aiming for the kitchen table. Even so, their lingering stares clung to him like static.

One guy, in particular, kept sneaking glances at the scar on his face, pretending he wasn’t staring. Charlie forced himself to stay still, but his pulse was already crawling up his throat.

"Where do I know him from?" the guy who had been staring at him whispered loudly.

“Dunno,” the other guy responded.

“Wait, I think I’ve seen him before. He’s a friend of Sen’s older brother,” the girl with long brunette hair added.

“Ew. Not that guy.” The first guy scoffed. “Ugh, why does Sen make friends with the weirdest-looking people? I thought it was just going to be us tonight.”

Charlie looked down at the floor. Did they know how loud they were talking? Did they even care?

Probably not.

God, it reminded him of high school.

Sen, of course, didn’t seem to notice his friend’s comments about him. He was too wrapped up in talking to Leni alone. He was laughing with her on the other side of the room. She leaned into him, tapping his arm as she spoke, and Sen grinned, engaged in the moment.

Charlie pulled out his phone and checked the time. Not even six o’clock yet. A sense of dread settled over him.

It shouldn’t matter. But the questions gnawed at him.

His throat felt tight, so he reached for the case of beers. His fingers found a cold can, and he cracked it open with shaky hands. The sharp hiss of carbonation filled the silence in his head.

At least they’d brought alcohol.

He took a slow sip, letting the bitterness settle on his tongue. If he focused on the drink, maybe he could ignore everything else. Maybe the sooner he got drunk, the sooner everything would fade away.

He nursed it carefully, letting the buzz of conversation melt into the background. His eye fixed on Sen and Leni as they talked.

Then, the thought crept in—unwanted and petty.

Was Leni the only one he had slept with? Or was it all of them?

It shouldn’t matter. But the questions gnawed at him, relentless.

His gaze flickered back to the couple, watching their interactions more closely. Leni kept leaning against Sen’s shoulder, her perfectly manicured nails grazing his arm as she laughed at something he said.

They broke up… right?

Oh god.

If he somehow found out tonight that Sen was still with her….

Charlie dropped his gaze to the floor, his stomach twisting.

He hated this. Hated being here.

And the night had only just started.

Time blurred as he nursed his drink, lost in the noise of his thoughts. The voices around him faded in and out. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, staring blankly at the floor, replaying the same bitter thoughts in his head.

Then, a hand landed on his shoulder, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Charlie flinched.

“Hey,” Sen said, but there was something careful about it. “Sorry about that.”

“H-Hi! H-Happy birthday!” The words tumbled out too forcedly.

It felt strange talking to Sen one-on-one around his friends. He glanced around, relieved to see the others weren’t paying attention.

Sen raised an eyebrow at Charlie’s sudden enthusiasm. “Yeah, okay, thanks. You are doing okay over here?”

“Yeah, I am,” Charlie lied.

Sen didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push. Instead, he shifted his weight and cleared his throat. “So, uh, listen—the plan for tonight is that we’re heading to a karaoke bar soon.”

“Oh…” Charlie said flatly. “So, t-that’s what we’re doing.”

“Yeahhh…” Sen rubbed the back of his neck. “Everything today was kinda last minute.”

Charlie exhaled slowly, gripping his beer a little tighter.

Singing. Great.

His relationship with music wasn’t exactly the best. Growing up, his papa had pushed him relentlessly to learn music. He had to sing and practice guitar to an unhealthy degree. It felt more like an obligation than something he enjoyed. What was supposed to be fun had turned into constant pressure, a never-ending cycle of expectations he could never quite meet.

Eventually, his papa gave up. Charlie’s stage fright was too frustrating to deal with. And with Clementine shining so effortlessly, it was easier for his papa to pour all his focus into her instead.

Now, just the thought of performing again, of standing in front of a crowd with all eyes on him—made his stomach churn.

Sen must have picked up on his discomfort because he quickly added, “You, uh… don’t have to sing or anything. You can just hang out and watch the rest of us make fools of ourselves.” He grinned. “Though you should know, I was picked multiple times to be the lead vocalist in my choir group in high school.”

“Oh… I didn’t know that,” Charlie muttered, caught off guard. “T-that’s great. But -yeah, I’m not really in the mood. I appreciate you realizing t-that.”

“You’re a fucking mess tonight, but I got you, Chuck. Just sit here and look pretty,” Sen nodded. “I’ll tell everyone not to pressure you, but I can’t promise they won’t bring it up.” He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“T-thank you,” Charlie huffed a quiet laugh, but the knot in his chest didn’t loosen.

Sen tilted his head. “Do you need anything else from me right now?”

It felt strange to be asked that by someone who was supposed to be the one getting spoiled today. Charlie looked Sen up and down, a thousand thoughts and worries swirling in his mind.

But right now, he had to choose his words carefully. 

One thing came to mind immediately.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the way Leni touched Sen’s arm. As much as there were bigger issues between them, for some reason, this was the one that kept eating away at him.
Was Leni also part of this mess?

If he could just hear it from Sen himself, maybe he’d feel better. He’d be angry with Sen for not telling him, but at least that would mean they both weren’t being completely honest about their situations.

As much as Charlie didn’t want to tell Sen about what happened today with Alpha, maybe this could be a good time to bring it up—admitting that both of them messed up.

But poor Leni… she didn’t deserve that.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Charlie glanced toward Leni. His pulse raced, thumping in his ears as he forced the words out.

“You and Leni…” His voice came out tight. He swallowed. “Are you guys, l-like… back together?”

Sen blinked, looking genuinely surprised by the question. Then he snorted. “Oh god, are we that obvious?”

Charlie’s stomach twisted.

“Hold on. I mean…Nah. We aren’t dating,” Sen added quickly, waving a hand. “We broke up a while ago.”

Charlie’s fingers twitched in confusion. “Oh. I’m sorry, I…”

“No, no, it’s okay. We don’t work as anything serious.” Sen scratched the back of his neck, then shrugged. “Sometimes we still… uh, you know? Hook up again on occasion. But we’re not committed to each other.”

“I g-get that.”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t even know she was coming tonight. She’s been talking to this other guy lately. I think she really likes him. Probably gonna cut me out of her life forever soon. Haha.” Sen let out a short laugh. “But she wanted to be here for my birthday.”

Charlie felt both relief and frustration. So, Sen didn’t lie… Charlie was still the only one who was a lying villain.

Fuck.

His chest tightened, but he kept his face neutral. “It’s okay. I get it. I was j-just wondering. Because….”

He stopped himself, unsure how to finish that sentence.

Because I just had sex with you? Because I don’t know where I stand? Because watching her touch you made me feel sicker?

Sen smirked. “Why? You jealous?”

Charlie scowled, looking away. “N-no.”

“Uh-huh.” Sen grinned, nudging Charlie’s shoulder.

Charlie bristled, his pulse jumping. “I wanted to make sure y-you weren’t cheating on her!”

“OH!” Sen’s eyes widened in mock realization before he burst out laughing. “Oh my god, that’s adorable.”

Charlie’s face burned even hotter. “I-I wasn’t—”

“Relax, Charlie!” Sen waved a hand, still grinning. “Leni and I are chill. She can do what she wants, and I can do what I want.” He leaned in slightly, his voice dipping into something lower, something teasing. “Including you.”

Charlie's face reddened. “S-stop. I-I get it,” he mumbled, barely able to get the words out.

Sen chuckled, clearly enjoying this. “Good. But listen, it doesn’t happen often between us, and now you can have me anytime you want to. Especially after tonight,” Sen winked, then added, “And hell, if Leni ever decides to do stuff again, you should join us. We’ve been talking about having a threesome.”

“Oh god, no.” Charlie made a disgusted noise, his stomach turning.  He had done threesomes in the past and enjoyed the casualness of it. But now? The thought of another person involved, especially after everything that had been happening lately, felt wrong.

Sen’s face twisted into exaggerated shock. “Wow, Charlie. You rejected that so fast. What, you don’t want to hook up with a Black girl?” He placed a hand over his chest like he was genuinely offended. “Didn’t take you as a racist.”

“W-WHAT. I—I’m NOT!” Charlie flailed his hands, nearly knocking over his drink. “Sen, you can’t just say stuff like that! Why are y-you bringing up race? That’s—that’s so messed up and actually racist!”

“Me racist?” Sen snorted. “I’ve had sex with a Black girl.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to say—ugh!” Charlie buried his face in his hands, groaning. “Why are y-you like this? Don’t accuse me of stuff like that.”

Sen just laughed, clearly amused. “Relax, Chuck. No one’s canceling you or me. I’M JOKING. I’M JOKING.”

“Not f-funny, Sen,” Charlie muttered, his face burning with a mix of embarrassment and irritation. “Can we change the subject?”

Sen laughed. “You’re so easy to mess with. But hey, at least I got you to forget whatever you were stressing about for a minute.”

Charlie blinked, his mouth opening slightly before closing again.

Damn it. He hated that Sen was right.

“I guess, but Sen, t-think before you say something.”

“Pfffttt. Okay, Mr. Snowflake,” Sen rolled his eyes before grabbing Charlie’s arm. “Oh yeah, this reminds me! We’re about to do an offensive shirt exchange before we go.”

“A w-what?” Charlie blinked.

“Have you seen the trend on TikTok—oh, never mind. Basically, everyone buys a shirt with an offensive saying on it for someone else, and we all have to wear them tonight.”

“I didn’t k-know about this. I didn’t buy a shirt for anyone.”

“I know. It’s fine, you don’t have to participate. I just wanted to give you a heads-up so you’re not caught off guard when you see them.”

Charlie frowned. “So… y-you don’t have a shirt for me?”

Sen raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like you want one.”

Charlie scowled. “I don’t! I was just asking—”

“Okay, actually you do have one…” Sen scratched the back of his neck, looking vaguely guilty. “Umm… so, I don’t know if you talked to Beta lately, but I did tell him I invited you tonight. Since he couldn’t be here, he wanted to get you one.”

“…OH.” Charlie stiffened at the mention of Beta. He hadn’t expected that.

“But you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to. He got a fucking gay ass shitty one.”

Charlie hesitated, his fingers twitching at his sides. Some part of him—maybe the same self-destructive streak that had gotten him into this situation in the first place—was curious. Maybe it was stupid, but he wanted to see what Beta had picked out for him.

“…Can I just see it?”

“Ummm… I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Sen winced.

“Just. Show me,” Charlie insisted.

Charlie glanced over at Sen, who was desperately trying to keep a straight face but failing miserably.

“You do not have to wear that,” Sen added, his voice strained with suppressed laughter.

Charlie looked up at Sen, still trying to process the shirt. “How are we even allowed to wear these in public?” he asked, genuinely curious.

“Most of the night, we’ll have our jackets on over them,” Sen explained. “But the karaoke place we’re going to has private rooms just for our group. It’s part of the fun... the whole idea is that it’s supposed to be humiliating.”

Before Charlie could respond, a crumpled shirt suddenly smacked Sen right in the face.

Sen yanked it off with an annoyed scowl, twisting around to glare at the culprit. One of his guy friends was snickering, looking far too pleased with himself.

“Seriously!? You couldn’t just hand it to me like a normal person?” Sen scoffed, shaking out the fabric with an exasperated sigh.

Charlie watched as Sen unfolded the shirt. Immediately, he saw Sen’s face drop. His eyes widened as he read the bold, horrifically inappropriate text splashed across the front:

"DON’T BULLY ME, I’LL CUM."

Charlie let out a choked noise, biting back laughter as he shook his head. “Wow. Just wow.”

The absurdity of the shirt settled in, and Charlie’s mind involuntarily flickered to earlier—to that moment. His heart skipped a beat, and a rush of heat flooded his face.

He had tried to push the dirty memory aside, but now it was there, vivid and uninvited. The memory of Sen cumming in his mouth only an hour earlier. He moved his hands to his knees and squeezed them hard.

Sen grimaced, staring down at the shirt like it personally offended him. His discomfort was obvious, making Charlie wonder if he had similar thoughts. But for the sake of his friends, Sen plastered on a grin.

“Yeah, totally hilarious, right?” Sen laughed, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You guys are so funny.” His voice rose slightly, an exaggerated mockery of enthusiasm as he shot his friends a dry look.

Still, with a dramatic sigh, Sen pulled the shirt over his head. The group erupted into laughter, and Sen rolled his eyes at them, playing along. But as his gaze flicked back to Charlie, something shifted—a silent apology lingering there.

Charlie caught the look, and Sen quickly glanced away.

“Alright, alright,” Sen chuckled. “Let’s just get going before I have to endure any more of your terrible humor.” He gestured toward the group of friends, who were still laughing amongst themselves.

Charlie watched as the rest of the group began putting on their shirts, but he stayed still. He clutched his shirt in his lap, unsure of what to do with it. The shirt felt too inappropriate for him to even think about wearing, but he also didn’t want to be left out.

As if sensing Charlie’s hesitation, Sen placed his hand gently on his shoulder and leaned in. "Sorry," he whispered, his voice low enough so only Charlie could hear. "I didn’t know what it was gonna say. I thought this whole thing would be funny, but yeah, now I feel like an idiot. Can’t let them see that, though. I don’t wanna ruin these shitheads' fun."

Charlie nodded slowly. He understood the need to play along in front of the group, to keep up the act.

Charlie wondered if Sen was talking about his shirt or the one Charlie was holding. He didn’t bother asking because no matter which shirt he meant, the sincerity in Sen’s voice eased his discomfort.

"Let’s get moving," one of Sen’s friends called out, shrugging on a jacket. "We gotta go before all the rooms are taken."

"Who’s driving?" someone asked.

"We’re taking two cars," Sen confirmed, perking up. "I’ll drive one."

"NO!" one of the girls shot back immediately.

Sen frowned. "Why not?"

"You know why!" She crossed her arms.

"Oh, and what? You’re driving instead?" He scoffed. "Wow, a woman. SO much better."

“You literally have been drinking, you psycho.”

“UM, that’s not how you talk to the birthday boy.”

Charlie stayed quiet at first, but he couldn’t help the amused smirk that tugged at his lips. He glanced at the girl, silently agreeing with her as she doubled down on her argument.

"Yeah, actually, I am driving," she shot back. "Because, unlike you, I haven’t been in two accidents in the last three months."

Laughter rippled through the group, and Charlie let out a small huff of amusement, ducking his head to hide it. Sen groaned, scanning the faces around him until his eyes landed on Charlie.

“Oh, you think that’s funny?” Sen accused, narrowing his eyes.

Charlie shrugged. He wasn’t about to argue.

Sen shot him a look, but the irritation was gone, replaced with a mischievous grin. "Whatever," he muttered, playfully shoving Charlie's shoulder. "Let’s just get in the cars before I have to listen to any more of this."

The tension eased, and the group began heading toward the cars. The girl who had been arguing with Sen flashed Charlie a smile, giving him a small, supportive nod as she passed him. Charlie couldn’t help but smile back, feeling a bit lighter.

Charlie hung back a little, letting the group get ahead. He didn’t leave the shirt at Sen’s place but instead carried it under his arm along with his jacket. He was going back and forth on whether he should wear it, but at this point... maybe it could be kind of funny. Everyone else was wearing shirts just as bad, if not worse.

Charlie stopped. With a resigned sigh, he pulled the shirt over his head. It was just for tonight, and it would make Sen happy. He adjusted it slightly, the fabric scratching at his skin. As he stood there for a moment, he realized how silly it all was. The shirt itself was only mildly funny, in an absurd way, but it wasn’t exactly something he would choose to wear. 

He glanced up to see Sen already heading toward the cars, and Charlie quickly caught up, feeling the weight of the shirt a little less as he joined the group.

He watched as Sen and the girl argued about the music for the ride. No one seemed to notice him fading back.

Charlie was okay with that. He was used to it.

Until he saw Sen stop to let him catch up.

“You’re going to be in the same car as me,” Sen demanded.

“I am?” Charlie whispered. “Do you think I should just t-take my car?”

“UM, no. You’ve been drinking.” Sen said, mimicking the girl’s mocking voice from earlier.

Charlie froze for a second, his mind catching up with the accusation. He hadn't even had much. Just a couple of drinks, but apparently, that was enough for Sen to make his decision.

“Well, alright t-then,” Charlie muttered, glancing at the others who were already piling into the other car.

Sen gave him a nod, then paused, his eyes scanning Charlie from head to toe.

“Oh my god, you put on the shirt,” Sen said. “That’s so fucking funny.”

Charlie felt a flush creep up his neck, but he couldn’t help the small, reluctant smile that tugged at his lips. “Y-yeah, yeah,” he mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed but oddly amused.

Sen raised an eyebrow. “I didn’t think you’d go through with it. I thought you were going to leave it at my place.”

“Why not?” Charlie shrugged. “It’s just for tonight, right?”

An uneasy feeling settled in Charlie’s chest as the words left his mouth. Deep down, he knew this moment might be one of the last they'd have like this. Once he told Sen the truth, once everything came out, it might all change. The connection between them would likely shatter, and they’d never be able to go back to this.

For now, though, he pushed that thought away and forced a smile. They might not have much longer together like this, but tonight, at least, he’d try to hold on to it.

Charlie followed Sen to the car, his heart heavy with unspoken words.

Chapter Text

Charlie found himself stuck in the same car as Sen, along with the girl Sen had argued with and the guy who had called him weird. To make matters worse, Sen didn’t sit next to him. Instead, he immediately claimed the front seat. That left Charlie stuck in the cramped backseat with the guy.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, keeping his eyes fixed on the window, doing his best to ignore the occasional glances from his unwanted seatmate. Meanwhile, Sen was having a great time up front, chatting away like nothing had happened. His laughter filled the car, completely unaware of the awkwardness brewing behind him.

The guy sitting next to him cleared his throat. “So, uh… when did you and Sen start hanging out?”

Charlie blinked. “W-what? Uh… r-recently. But also… y-yeah.”

The guy raised an eyebrow. “Right.”

Charlie immediately regretted speaking. He could feel the follow-up questions coming, so he quickly muttered, “N-not a big deal.”

An awkward silence settled between them. The guy gave a slow nod, clearly rethinking his decision to start a conversation.

Thankfully, the ride was short, only a few minutes. They soon pulled into the parking lot of the karaoke bar. Sen was the first to jump out, slamming the door shut behind him. Charlie let out a quiet breath of relief, reaching for the door handle.

The neon lights cast a bright, almost blinding, glow across the lot. The building buzzed with energy, laughter, and music spilling out through the open doors. The air was thick with the smell of cigarettes and alcohol.

He stepped out of the car, trailing behind the group as they headed toward the entrance. The music inside grew louder with every step, and for a moment, Charlie hesitated, wondering if he had made the right decision in coming along. But he pushed the thought aside, hoping that once inside, Sen and his friends would be too caught up in their fun to pay much attention to him.

Sen led them straight to the reception desk, where the worker greeted them with a polite smile. His friends quickly reached for their wallets, chatting amongst themselves as they split the cost. Charlie shifted uncomfortably, reaching for his wallet, unsure of how much he owed. The noise in the room made it difficult to hear anything, and no one seemed to notice him. Charlie hesitated, glancing around, waiting for someone to turn to him and say how much he needed to pay, but no one did.

Just as he was about to speak, Sen turned to him. “Don’t worry about it, good sir. You’re just here to have fun.”

Charlie hesitated, his fingers still lingering on the edge of his wallet. "I…"

Sen waved him off. “You're my guest tonight, so just enjoy the damn party.”

The worker handed over a set of keys. “Room three," she said, gesturing toward the door at the end of the hall.

As the group started moving toward the door, Sen stayed behind and leaned in close to Charlie, his voice softening to a whisper. “Besides, you already offered a ‘payment’ earlier.”

Charlie’s face flushed, and he let out a small, awkward breath. He gave a quick nod, hoping the topic would die there.

But then, in a sudden burst of energy, Sen straightened up, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Alright, let’s go!” he exclaimed, suddenly rushing ahead to get to the front of the group, leaving Charlie to trail behind with the others.

The abrupt change in Sen’s demeanor caught Charlie off guard. He stood there for a second, watching as Sen hurried ahead. Putting away his wallet, he then quickly tried to catch up with the group himself.

As Charlie tried to move faster, his foot caught on the edge of the carpet, and he stumbled awkwardly, his balance off. He ended up clumsily bumping into one of Sen’s friends. The collision wasn’t gentle; his shoulder slammed into Charlie’s chest, making him wince from the impact.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry!” Charlie panicked, his voice a stammer as he looked up to see it was the guy from the backseat. Of all the people…

"Watch it," the guy muttered, his voice low and dripping with irritation. He then muttered something under his breath that Charlie could barely make out. " Couldn’t even pay for yourself."

Charlie's stomach dropped. He froze for a moment, unsure if he should respond or just keep walking. He felt a pang of guilt; the guy was right... He shouldn’t have let Sen pay after what he has done. But still, the guy didn’t know that, and he had no right to comment on it.

Charlie glanced up at the guy, but the moment he did, the guy was already walking past him, not sparing him another glance. Charlie fought back the urge to call out to him and defend himself. Instead, he stayed quiet, his head down, hoping the moment would pass without anyone noticing.

Thankfully, Sen didn’t seem to notice. He was already making his way inside the karaoke room.

Charlie exhaled slowly, pushing the nagging feeling of frustration aside.  

“It’s only for one night. You never have to see any of these people again,” Charlie muttered to himself.

He shuffled toward the private room, his feet dragging as he made his way inside. The scent of stale beer hit him immediately, but he couldn’t deny the appeal of the space. Thankfully, the room was spacious enough to comfortably fit their group. The seats were plush, covered in soft velvet material. A massive television stood at the front, ready for the karaoke session to begin.

Sen quickly dropped onto one of the couches and grabbed the mic. “Alright, who’s up first?”

The group murmured among themselves, debating who would go first. Charlie took a seat in the corner, his eyes drifting to the mic as one of the girls from the group stepped up and started scrolling through the song list.

An upbeat tune blared through the speakers; the music was infectious as the others sang enthusiastically. Charlie leaned back, his shoulders relaxed for the first time all night, thankful that no more attention could be directed toward him.

As the group settled in, the energy in the room picked up. People eagerly took turns at the mic, mostly the girls, each belting out their favorite songs with varying degrees of talent.

One of Sen’s friends, the other guy in the group, leaned over to the touchscreen panel on the table, scrolling through the menu. A few minutes later, the door opened briefly, and a staff member slipped inside, silently setting the drinks on the table before exiting just as quickly. The group hardly acknowledged it, too excited, but a few immediately reached for the glasses.

Charlie decided against getting a drink.

Then, Sen stood up, stretching before taking the mic. 

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let me serenade you with my angelic voice~," he said as he scrolled through the song choices. "Or to put it in terms you worms can understand. Watch and learn."

The others cheered. But Charlie barely reacted. 

As mean as it sounded, he expected nothing special. Sen was tipsy, and he’d seen his fair share of people overhyping their singing. Charlie firmly believed talent was primarily genetic, and Alpha had none. He had tried singing with him before, and it had been awful. Alpha had no sense of rhythm, even when Charlie wanted to guide him. Worst of all, he’d just brush it off like it didn’t matter, acting like Charlie was the one who didn’t know what he was talking about.

So, Charlie wouldn’t be surprised if Sen sucked as well.

Charlie squeezed his knees hard, realizing with frustration that he had been thinking about Alpha again. Why couldn’t he just stop? Alpha wasn’t here. He wasn’t part of this night. And yet, no matter what, he still managed to invade Charlie’s thoughts.

The instrumentals began, pulling Charlie back to reality. He braced himself for more off-key shouting, like the rest of the group had been doing.

But then, Sen started singing.

He was good.

No. He wasn’t just good… He was amazing! 

Charlie gasped quietly, caught off guard by the smoothness of Sen’s voice, the way it carried through the room. The rest of the group hyped him up, but Charlie sat frozen, feeling something strange tighten in his chest.

Then, in the middle of a verse, Sen’s eyes met his. He winked.

Charlie looked away, flustered. He prayed none of the others had noticed the exchange. As the lyrics continued, he couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling that the song was meant for him. Which was ridiculous. Sen had an audience: his entire friend group. And one of them was Leni, who was far more of a lover to Sen.

And yet, for some reason, Charlie felt like the only one in the room.

And wasn’t that just the most arrogant thing to assume?

Charlie scoffed at himself, shaking his head. He was overthinking. But despite his best efforts to dismiss the thought, the warmth in his face refused to fade.

As the final notes rang through the speakers, Sen dragged out the last lyric, his voice dipping into something almost too smooth. He held the mic close, eyes scanning the room before landing on Charlie again.

It lasted only a second. Just long enough to send a shiver down Charlie’s spine.

With a dramatic bow, Sen laughed. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you steal the show~!" He shot Charlie one last lingering glance before handing off the mic and heading back to his seat.

Charlie felt almost grateful for a brief second that he had decided to come.

That was, until one of Sen’s friends, his backseat riding buddy, turned to him with a nasty grin.

"Hey, Cyclops," the guy called out cruelly, pointing at Charlie. "You gonna sing? Or just sit there all night staring at everyone?"

Charlie’s stomach twisted, the joy from earlier vanishing in an instant.

“What?!” Sen shot a quick glare at the guy, his posture tense. “Don’t talk to him like that!”

The guy blinked, thrown off by Sen’s sudden defense, but recovered fast, a sneer curling on his lips. “What? I was just messing around. The dude can’t even get a word out. Imagine him trying to sing.” His gaze dragged over Charlie with open contempt.

“OKAY, and?!” Sen stood up. “He’s just a little shy. He doesn’t have to sing if he doesn’t want to. Why do you care?”

“Why is he even here if he’s not gonna join in? Just sitting there like some creep. Sen, you didn’t even tell us he was coming.”

“Ohhh, so sorry,” Sen rolled his eyes. “I forgot to consult the local douchebag.”

“Ugh. You don’t see it?! He gives off freaky loner energy.”

As they spoke, Charlie looked down at the floor. The worst part was how much it echoed things he already believed about himself.

Sen scoffed. “Well, you give off inbred energy, but I try to be polite.”

“Come on! Isn’t he a fucking homo?” the guy hissed. The room fell dead silent. “He keeps looking at me like he’s got some kind of crush. Bet he’s doing the same to you, too. Seriously? Are you sure he’s not just here to creep on someone drunk and feel them up?”

Leni snapped, her voice cutting through the tension. “You’re fucking drunk. Sit down.”

“Yeah,” Sen growled, eyes narrowed. “Keep talking like that, and I’ll neuter you myself.”

Charlie tried to hide the blush creeping up his neck. As much as he appreciated Sen and Leni defending him, it only made him feel worse. Sen shouldn’t be defending him, not after what Charlie did when they were both drunk. Not after using him, even when he was sober. He WAS a creep who took advantage of people. God… he’d only stayed to make Sen feel better, but instead, he was ruining his night more.

“Jesus, fine. Forget I said anything. Let’s just get back to singing,” the guy muttered, raising his hands like he was the victim. The guy looked around at everyone’s disapproving stares before slumping back on the couch, muttering something under his breath.

“What was that?” Sen's eyes narrowed.

“Nothing. Forgot about it.”

“We are not just going to forget about that. You embarrassed yourself,” Leni shot back, arms crossed. “You should say sorry to him.”

The guy rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. I’m sorry, okay?”

It was barely an apology, and everyone knew it.

Still, Charlie shook his head slowly, voice barely above a whisper. “I-It’s o-okay…”

An uncomfortable silence settled over the room.

Then, awkwardly, one of the other girls near the speaker fumbled for the microphone and pressed play. A new song began, something that was too cheerful for the moment. A few people forced themselves to sing along, their voices hesitant, like they were trying to pretend nothing happened.

Charlie stayed silent. The panic from earlier was returning in full force, but now it was worse. Amplified by the crowd around him and the alcohol dulling his senses. His chest felt tight, and the air around him was becoming thicker. Every sound in the room was too loud, and yet he couldn't seem to focus on any of it.

Sen turned to him, his voice gentler now. “You okay?”

Charlie didn’t answer right away. His thoughts were racing, debating his next move. Could he pretend a little longer? Should he fake a smile and wait this out?

No.

One more comment, even a small one, would shatter him. He needed to get out, and he didn’t care how obvious it was.

He stood up abruptly, his movements stiff.

“Um, I’m g-going to the b-bathroom!” he mumbled, not making eye contact with anyone.

Charlie quickly grabbed his jacket before heading for the front entrance. He kept his head down. He was almost to the door when he heard quick footsteps behind him.

“Hey! Wait!” Sen called out. “That’s not the bathroom!”

Charlie barely had time to react before Sen caught up to him, fingers closing around the fabric of his sleeve.

Charlie turned, keeping his face as blank as possible. “W-what?”

Sen’s face was flushed. Partly from rushing, partly from frustration, and partly from the alcohol. He glanced around the hallway, then back at Charlie, shifting uncomfortably. “Where are you going?”

Charlie shrugged. “Home.”

Sen’s brow furrowed. “How? We drove you here.” His hand slid down, fingers wrapping more firmly around Charlie’s wrist.

“I d-don’t know,” Charlie murmured, his voice barely audible.

Sen’s expression softened. “Charlie, I’m sorry about Kai, he’s an ass. I can’t stand him either.”

Charlie shook his head slowly, eyes still cast downward. “It’s not just him. I don’t belong here tonight… I shouldn’t have come.”

“Okay, okay, hold on now,” Sen hesitated for a beat, then gently tugged at his wrist. “Hey, come outside with me for a sec. Some fresh air might help?”

Charlie didn’t respond, but he didn’t pull away either.

Sen guided him through the front door. The night was cool, which was a relief from the suffocating, dense air inside. The muffled thump of music still pulsed through the walls behind them.

They lingered near the side of the building, the silence stretching out between them. Sen didn’t go.

Sen’s expression wavered, like he wanted to say something that would fix it all but didn’t quite know how. His jaw tightened, and after a moment, he stepped a little closer.

“Chuck… everything is fine. Everyone’s on your side,” he said softly. “Stay. You can’t leave like this.”

Charlie flinched, looking away as he stopped himself to take a shaky breath before answering. “Y-you told me I could leave,” he said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Earlier. W- when I said I wasn’t sure about being here.”

Sen’s grip on Charlie’s wrist loosened as the words sank in. “I didn’t…”

“You did!” Charlie cut in, finally looking up. He could hear his heartbeat in his head. “You said if I didn’t feel comfortable, I could go. And I d-don’t! I don’t. I just... I need to leave, Sen. I don’t want to ruin your night more than I already have. I shouldn’t have come tonight at all! I shouldn’t come to see you p-period!”

Sen visibly recoiled as hurt flashed across his face. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing. “Why would you even say that?”

Charlie opened his mouth, but nothing came out at first. The pressure behind his ribs kept building. He needed to tell him. N ow was the time to say something.

But his throat closed, and his mouth was too dry. And instead of the truth, only a fragile tremble escaped.

“I-I’m... sorry. I j-just…” Charlie began, voice shaking. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just... before I came here, something happened, and I—”

“Charlie, stop.” Sen’s voice cut in, sharp and frustrated. He stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck like he was trying to keep himself in check. “I don’t want to hear your brain spiral into whatever guilt trip it’s dragging you through right now. You can’t just…” He exhaled hard. “I don’t want you walking out sad like this.”

“I deserve it, though.”

“ WHAT?! ” Sen threw up his hands, pacing a step away from him. “Oh my God , Charlie, you’re starting to piss me off a little!”

“I don’t b-blame you,” Charlie murmured, too softly.

Everything he’d done, the reason he couldn’t look Sen in the eye, sat at the edge of his tongue. But what was the point? Sen would find out eventually. Probably from Alpha. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe it would be easier if Charlie just disappeared and let Sen hate him in peace.

“I’m stupid and useless and awful,” Charlie added, not even meaning to say it out loud.

Sen groaned, hands dragging down his face. “Oh my God . OH MY GOD! You are so self-deprecating! SHUT UP! ” His voice cracked in disbelief. “Today is supposed to be fun! It’s my birthday , Charlie!”

“I know, so I’m leaving so you can enjoy it.”

“God damn it,” Sen pinched his forehead, trying to control his anger. “You know what? I wasn’t going to say this because I didn’t want to make you feel worse but fuck it! You need to understand this.”

“W-what?” Charlie’s voice wavered, unsure what Sen was getting at.

“I’ve been lying to you,” Sen said, his voice sharp and rising. “I’m not totally okay with what we’ve been doing either.” He threw his hands up dramatically. “Shocking, right?”

Charlie blinked, startled. He never even thought Sen might be regretting anything, let alone feeling this way. His stomach twisted, his mind scrambling to catch up. 

Sen wasn’t okay? Since when? He always acted so sure about all of this.

“W-what? But... but you always seemed so unbothered,” Charlie said, voice shaky. “You’re the one who wanted to do more. I didn’t…I d-didn’t mean—”

“Let me finish!” Sen snapped, more emotional than angry. “Before I say anything else, know this: I don’t regret anything. I loved what we’ve been doing.”

Charlie stared at him, baffled. He couldn’t understand how both things could be true.
“I’m confused. If you don’t r-regret it, then w-why do you feel like this?”

Sen sighed. “Because I feel like I’m always stuck in Alpha’s shadow. I don’t care how he feels about this…I really don’t! But no matter what I do, it’s like I’m always following in his footsteps. And it pisses me off!”

Charlie’s thoughts spiraled. None of it made sense to him. Sen wasn’t some knockoff version of Alpha. Yeah, they had a few things in common, like both being outgoing, but Sen was different. He was friendlier, more laid-back. The kind of person who’d break a rule just for the thrill of it. Not like Alpha, who always had to be in control. Charlie wanted to say all of that, to tell him he was his own person. But he remained quiet as he could tell Sen had more to say.

“I was the only one who got his hand-me-downs because Beta’s fat ass couldn’t fit in them,” Sen went on. “I made honor roll like him. Teachers were always saying it was nice I took after him and always asking me about him. I got to be prom king, just like him. And now?” He let out a bitter laugh. “Now I’m hooking up with his ex. Do you know how fucking humiliating that is? No matter what I do, I’m stuck in his orbit.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t even plan this. I didn’t start liking you because you were his ex. I liked you because you’re hot, okay?! But the second it happened, it was like…Of course! Of course, I’m chasing after something he had first.”

“W-why are you telling me this?” Charlie wasn’t sure if he felt worse or better hearing it.

“Because I want to be honest,” Sen said, his voice dropping lower. “And because I want you to know you’re not the only one with shitty thoughts. I hate feeling like this. I don’t want you feeling like this, either. And I sure as hell don’t want Alpha having anything to do with what’s going on between us. Because this? It’s not about him. It never was.”

“J-Jesus, Sen, I—”

“Oh my god, let me finish.” Sen huffed, smiling. “Yeah, I’ve had doubts. But you know what? Fuck all that! I’m not Alpha 2.0. I’m me ! It’s time I threw out all that insecure shit and took what I want, even if it’s tied to him. Because whatever I do? It’s my decision. I would've done it anyway.”

“I’m glad you told me this…” Charlie forced out but paused.

He got it. He really got it. That quiet ache of being seen as someone else's shadow. It was how he’d felt about Clementine for as long as he could remember. Except, unlike Alpha and Sen, he and Clementine were complete opposites. She was bright and easy to love, while he was the anxious, awkward one always trailing behind. Still, even though they were on different paths, he often found himself making choices with her in mind, wondering how others would compare them.

He swallowed, eyes stinging. Sen’s words weren’t just about Alpha. They were about breaking free. About living without apology or comparison.

But even if he was bonding over their shared experiences, that didn’t change anything. That didn’t erase how he handled this situation.

“I d-didn’t know you felt this way. But—” Charlie continued.

“But what? Chuck, the world doesn’t revolve around Alpha, even if he acts like it does.” Sen’s voice sharpened. “Why let him stop a good thing? Why let anyone stop you from getting what you want?”

“I k-know…”

Sen sighed, stepping closer. “Look, I’m not mad at you. I’m just worried. None of this is your fault.” His gaze locked on Charlie’s. “Fuck, Charlie… Listen, even if you do see me as a rebound for him…I don’t care. Honestly? I’m kind of doing the same thing with you. It feels fucking good to mess around. Why is that bad? I already told you. I don’t think what we did was bad.”

Charlie’s breath caught. Even without knowing what had happened between him and Alpha earlier, Sen wasn’t bothered by the idea that Charlie might’ve used him to feel better. And that made Charlie feel… selfishly better.

Sen’s lips twitched. “So how about we stop pretending that this is some mistake and just do what we both want? We’re just messing around, right? It’s just sex.”

Charlie’s throat still felt tight, but for once, it wasn’t from anxiety. Strangely, Sen's words had made him feel better. Like a weight had lifted off his shoulders.

He swallowed hard, pulse hammering in his ears. “I’ve been confused about what I w-want. I’ve been so stuck in my head,” Charlie admitted, voice soft.

“Invite me over tonight,” Sen threw out. “After all, you still have that present to give me.”

Sen wanted to come over.

The thought made his face flush instantly, heat rushing to his cheeks before he could stop it.

“B-but Sen…” Charlie hesitated, his thoughts spinning. He still felt like he was in the wrong, but Sen’s words had gotten to him. Something drifted into his mind…Something that, for once, didn’t feel shameful.

I probably would’ve ended up sleeping with him anyway.

Charlie’s eye widened slightly at the realization.

He was attracted to Sen. He had been for a while. Why had he kept fooling himself into thinking this was just about revenge or anger? That wasn’t the full truth. It hadn’t really been about Alpha. Alpha’s bullshit just gave him the push to act on something he already wanted.

Especially after what Sen had just said. It was impossible to ignore the connection between them.

Maybe what he was doing wasn’t wrong.

Sure, maybe not telling Sen everything wasn’t the most honest thing in the world. But he hadn’t slept with Sen to hurt him. Sen had offered to be there for him when things were already messy. He knew things weren’t perfect. And maybe it didn’t even matter anymore if what they were doing was just about sex. What mattered was that they both felt good at the moment.

Charlie didn’t like the idea of keeping things from Sen. But he also didn’t want to ruin what they had with a truth that might not even matter now.

He decided right then that maybe telling Sen everything wasn’t necessary. Sitting here, spiraling about it was only making things worse for both of them.

He had to shove it down. Just this once.

Sen leaned in slightly, his fingers brushing lightly along Charlie’s jaw. “Come on. You want that too, don’t you?”

Charlie did. God, he did.

“I kept t-thinking I was messing something up,” Charlie muttered, swiping a hand across his forehead with a shaky laugh. “But… t-thanks, Sen. I think I get it now. I need to stop thinking about what he would think.”

He looked up, meeting Sen’s gaze.

“I just wanna do what feels good for once.” He paused. “And right now… that’s you.”

Sen’s grin widened as he stepped closer to Charlie, grabbing his hand. He gently guided him toward the dark side of the building, where no one could see them. The quiet night air seemed to press in around them, heightening the tension, but Charlie didn’t protest. He was suddenly aware of how alone they were and how wrong it all felt... yet how right it seemed at that moment.

Without waiting for a response, Sen cupped Charlie’s face and pulled him into a kiss.

Charlie froze for a second, his brain screaming that it was too fast, that they shouldn’t be kissing again. But his body didn’t seem to care. Heat coiled low in his stomach, and despite the confusion still buzzing in his head, he responded. His hands found their way to Sen’s chest, fingers curling slightly against the fabric.

Sen’s hands slid to the back of Charlie’s neck, deepening the kiss, and for a moment, everything else faded. It was just the two of them.

When they finally pulled away, both were breathless. Sen pressed his forehead against Charlie’s.

“See?” Sen said, voice low and a little rough. “You want this too.”

Charlie blinked, still trying to process the rush of feelings. He hadn’t expected things to shift so fast, but part of him didn’t mind.

“Y-yeah,” he murmured. “Um… Y-yeah. You can come over… but I’m exhausted, so—”

“We should ditch them,” Sen interrupted.

“W-what… NO! Sen, no, that’s rude.” Charlie winced, imagining his friends still talking about him, how he’d ruined their fun. He couldn’t imagine how angry they would be or what rumors would spread if they ran off together. He’d already caused enough of a scene.

“So?” Sen rolled his eyes. “They were rude to you.”

“Only that one guy! K-Kai, was it?”

“Yeah, screw that fat whore,” Sen huffed. “I bet his nuts are the size of a squirrel’s.”

Charlie snorted. “Pfft, w-what? But… uh, I still feel like that’s rude to the rest of them. They were here for you tonight. And what about Leni?”

He couldn’t help but wonder… had Sen made plans to go home with her tonight?

“She’d be fine with it. When I talked to her later, I told her about us.”

“You did?” Charlie blinked.

Sen just grinned. “YEAH, she knows, Charlie! She knows we’ve seen each other’s pee-pees.”

“W-what?!” Charlie turned red, flinching. “No—I… Sen, please shut up. I can’t take much more tonight.”

“I know, handsome~,” Sen smirked. “I’m getting tired, too. Probably from being so gay with my feelings earlier. Ew. But you know what’s funny?”

“What?”

Sen pointed at his shirt and then at Charlie’s chest. Charlie sighed, realizing what Sen was getting at.

“We seriously had a serious heart-to-heart while both wearing shirts where one says ‘pussy’ and the other says ‘cum.’ Being a human being is a wild ride, huh?”

“Can we please go home now?” Charlie shook his head, a crooked smile tugging at his lips despite himself. It was going to be okay.

“Sure, Chuck.” Sen elbowed him.

Together, they headed inside.

Chapter Text

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sen huffed, his face practically turning blue with frustration. “What the actual fuck ?! Where did they go?!”

When they stepped back into the karaoke room, Leni was the only person standing there. 

Leni’s face twisted with slight irritation. “Before you break something, the girls are still here. They’re just in the bathroom. But… Kai and Chris left.”

“Those pussies ! Ugh, whatever, I’m over it. I just want to go home,” Sen snapped, throwing his hands up.

Leni ignored him and turned toward Charlie instead. “Are you okay, honey?”

Charlie felt his cheeks flush at Leni’s gentle tone. “Y-yeah. Thank you for asking. And… sorry about earlier.”

“Aw, what are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Leni patted his back. 

“This party’s dead. I can’t believe he didn’t even have the balls to say goodbye,” Sen muttered, already stomping toward the door. “ Fuck this. ”

Sen shoved open the karaoke room door with a loud bang . Charlie followed a few steps behind, startled by the sudden outburst. He looked back at Leni, who just shrugged being unfazed at Sen’s behavior.  As they stepped into the hallway, they nearly collided with the two girls just returning from the bathroom. Sen didn’t slow down. He pushed past them, his shoulder bumping hard enough in the burnette to make her stumble.

“ We are leaving! ” he snapped, not even turning around. His voice echoed down the hallway.

“I think you mean excuse me?” The girl muttered. “I hate when he gets like this.” 

Charlie winced, pausing in front of them. “I... think he just hit his limit.”

“The non-existent limit?” Leni laughed. 

Charlie just gave them a sheepish smile and jogged to catch up with Sen, who was already pushing through the front door of the building. By the time Charlie and the rest of the group made it outside, Sen was pacing on the sidewalk, arms crossed tight against the chill in the air. His breath came out in quick bursts. 

“Hurry up!” Sen snapped.

Charlie hesitated for half a second, eyes darting to the curb. The car he’d arrived in earlier was still parked; Kai must’ve bailed on the party with that other guy. Without another word, they all headed toward it. Leni yanked the back door open and slid in first. Sen was right behind her, collapsing into the seat with a dramatic sigh. Charlie climbed in last, leaving Sen awkwardly wedged between them.

The car pulled away. At first, the ride was silent.

Sen slouched against the door, arms crossed tightly, his eyes locked on the blur of city lights passing by. Charlie cast a quick glance at him, unsure if he should say anything. Leni was quietly scrolling on her phone, her face glowing blue in the dim light.

Then, out of nowhere, Sen muttered, “Why didn’t anyone sing happy birthday to me?”

The words dropped heavy into the quiet.

No one answered.

Leni blinked and slowly looked up from her phone. Charlie’s mouth opened, then shut again. Even the driver flicked a glance toward the rearview mirror, clearly debating whether to pretend they hadn't heard.

After a moment, Leni cleared her throat and quietly began, “Happy birthday to you…”

The two other girls in the front hesitated, then softly joined in.

Charlie stayed quiet at first. He stared at his hands in his lap. But by the second line—"Happy birthday to you…"—he mumbled along, just barely audible.

“Happy birthday to you,” they finished, the song tapering off into a cringey, half-hearted ending.

The silence that followed was somehow even worse. Sen didn’t say anything. He didn’t turn to look at them. But after a long beat, Charlie noticed the tiniest twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Maybe… maybe he was less angry now.

Maybe.

But then.

“You guys aren’t that good at singing.”

Leni snorted, and the whole car broke into laughter a moment later. Even Charlie cracked a small smile, shaking his head.

“Tonight sucked,” Sen groaned, leaning his head back against the seat. “But at least I got to go home in a car full of ladies.”

Charlie’s smile instantly dropped, his jaw tightening. Did he just...?

But then Sen shot him a quick look and smirked—one of those looks that said you get it, right? Like it was some dumb inside joke just for the two of them. Charlie didn’t smile, but his face relaxed a little. Yeah, he got it. He just didn’t like it. It made his stomach twist with that familiar, awful feeling—like someone might figure him out if he wasn’t careful. Still, he let it slide. What else could he do? If he called Sen out, it’d raise questions he couldn’t afford to answer.

Leni, totally missing the exchange, snorted from the front seat. “That’s not even true. Charlie’s here.”

Sen just shrugged. “Oh. Right.”

Charlie turned to the window and stared out like he didn’t care. But he did. Of course he did. It was just… complicated.

As they pulled up to Sen’s apartment complex, the car slowed to a crawl before stopping near the curb. Sen unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to the others with a half-smile. “Alright, see you guys later. Thanks… for trying, I guess.”

The girl driving waved at him. “Yeah, yeah. We’re all blocking Kai. Maybe we can plan a makeup night.”

“Maybe,” Sen replied, already pushing the door open and stepping out.

Charlie shifted in his seat as Leni climbed out from the opposite side. He followed her, the door closing behind them with a soft thud. They stood near the car, waiting while Sen lingered to chat with the two girls in the car, that Charlie had never learned the names of. They laughed at something he said, voices muffled by the distance.

Leni came to stand beside Charlie, crossing her arms as they watched. Charlie didn’t say anything. He just watched the way Sen’s posture changed when he talked to people who weren’t him.

“It was nice meeting you tonight,” Leni suddenly said, her voice soft enough that only Charlie could hear.

Charlie’s face flushed. “Nice to meet you too,” he mumbled, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket.

Leni offered a smile, then tilted her head. “I’m glad you and Sen are getting to know each other. He, uh… sometimes struggles to keep people around.”

Charlie blinked. “Oh. Yeah… he’s been nice.”

“Nice?” Leni snorted, shaking her head. “That’s generous.”

Charlie let out the faintest laugh. “I mean… he’s interesting.”

“That’s more accurate,” she said. “But seriously. He needs people who won’t just hype him up or feed his ego. I think you’re good for that.” She paused, then added with a playful raise of her brows, “Do you like hugs?”

“Y-yeah. I… they’re nice.”

Before he could overthink it, she pulled him into a warm hug. Her arms wrapped around him snugly for just a second, then she leaned in close, whispering, “Have a good time with him, okay?” Charlie stiffened slightly, but then she added with a sly smile, “And I know what kind of time you’re gonna have.”

Charlie’s face lit up bright red. “Leni—”

She just laughed, gave him a wink, and turned on her heel to walk off.

Charlie watched from the curb as Leni walked over to Sen, arms open. She gave him a quick hug. Sen mumbled something back that made her roll her eyes, and then she slipped into the driver’s seat of her car with a final wave.

Charlie shook his head to himself, watching as the girls' cars pulled away from Sen’s apartment complex.

“Alright,” Sen said, walking over and stretching his arms above his head. “I just need to run up and feed my cat. He’s probably losing his mind by now. Also gotta grab something real quick before we go.”

“O-okay… I’ll just wait here. Unless you want me to go with you?” Charlie offered.

“Nah, it'll be quicker by myself.” Sen was already turning toward the building when he added over his shoulder, “Just don’t go into psychosis again and drive off like a maniac or get sex trafficked while I’m gone. I’ll be really mad at you if that happens.”

Charlie blinked, caught off guard. “S-sure! Just—don’t take forever…” he stammered, watching Sen disappear up the walkway.

Sen gave a mock salute and jogged off toward the entrance, leaving Charlie under the soft glow of the streetlight, hands awkwardly shoved in his pockets.

Charlie decided standing around was pointless, so he wandered over to his car and slid into the driver’s seat, leaving the door open. His mind felt both blank and restless, a low static buzzing in the back of his skull. Out of habit, he flipped open his phone to check for messages, but the screen stayed dark — dead.

He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d charged it.

When Sen finally returned, Charlie blinked in surprise. All that Sen was carrying was a phone charger. He wasn’t carrying a duffel bag or even a backpack for the night. Instead, he had a small gift bag Charlie didn’t recognize.

“Oh… is that a gift someone gave you?” Charlie called out to Sen as he approached.

“No, silly! It’s for you,” Sen said standing over him.

Charlie blinked, thrown off. “But… it’s your birthday.”

Sen shrugged. “And it’s also Valentine’s Day. And you’re my Valentine.”

“Oh… Oh..! I am?” Charlie’s face flushed, and he shifted in his seat.

“Duh. Open it already,” Sen laughed, nudging the bag into his hands. “It’s nothing amazing.”

Charlie peeked inside. Nestled among the tissue paper were a handful of colorful snack packages, their labels all written in a language he didn’t recognize.

“My family overseas sent those from Korea. The good one. South Korea,” Sen added with a smirk. “I looked them all up and only packed the ones that are vegan, so you don’t have to worry.”

Charlie let out a small breath of relief, the knot of tension in his chest loosening just a bit. It wasn’t an over-the-top gift. Not expensive, just something simple and thoughtful. Exactly what he could handle. Something that he could justify accepting.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I can’t wait to try them.”

“You’re welcome. Now let’s go so you can give me my gift,” Sen said, practically sprinting to the passenger seat.

Once they were both in the car, Charlie closed his door and turned the key in the ignition. They fell into a comfortable silence as he pulled out of the lot. Streetlights flickered past the windshield, casting brief, shifting patterns across the dashboard.

Charlie gripped the steering wheel a little tighter than usual. His mind was racing flashing between the past, the moment now, and whatever might come next when they got back to his apartment. At this point, he knew he wanted this. He was letting it happen.

But the fear hadn’t disappeared, far from it. There was still something buzzing under the surface, whispering that it could all go wrong again. That maybe it already was.

Then another voice, louder and sharper, cut through the noise: Screw it.

Maybe it wouldn't last. Maybe it would get messy. So what?

He was lonely. He was human. And he was tired.

He deserved some damn ass. The thought made him laugh a little internally, the tiniest breath of ridiculous relief.

But then he paused. Was it bad that it was this quiet? He considered breaking the silence, saying something, anything , but he was awful at talking. Always had been.

He glanced over at Sen, who didn’t seem interested in talking either. He had his head leaned against the window, softly humming a tune Charlie didn’t recognize. He looked completely at ease, like he wasn’t worried at all.

Charlie let out a sigh of relief as he turned his focus back to the road.

When they finally pulled into Charlie’s apartment lot, the headlights swept across the pavement before he parked. Charlie sat for a moment, hands still resting on the wheel.

Sen was the first to move, unbuckling with an exaggerated sigh. “Well, that was the most romantic silent drive of my life.”

Charlie let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Real cinematic.”

They got out. Charlie motioned for Sen to follow him, leading him towards the entrance. As Sen passed behind him, he brushed a hand lightly across Charlie’s ass, barely noticeable, but intentional.

Charlie flinched, face going bright red. “W-what was that?”

“What?” Sen asked, all innocent.

“You just…” Charlie gestured vaguely at his lower half.

“Me?” Sen blinked, feigning offense. “I’m a gentleman. I would never. Damn, this is a fancy place you live. What do you do to afford a place by yourself?”

Charlie paused, still flustered at Sen’s touch. “Well...”

“Come on, let’s get inside already.” Sen cut him off as he walked ahead.

“Oh, okay!” Charlie walked faster to be side by side with Sen.

The door to Charlie’s apartment was outside, opening directly from the exterior walkway, but the building was still modern and upscale, with clean white walls and gold accents on the fixtures. Charlie unlocked the door with a slight tremble in his hand, hoping the inside was as presentable as the outside.

He alsocouldn’t help but anticipate that as soon as they stepped inside, things would escalate. That soon their clothes would disappear, and his tongue would end up in places he wasn’t supposed to think about.

But instead, as soon as Sen stepped foot into the apartment, he made a beeline for the kitchen. Charlie barely had time to close the door before Sen yanked open the fridge, standing there with his hands on his hips, scanning the contents.

Charlie blinked, watching him in curiosity. “Uh… what are y-you doing?”

Sen ignored him, staring at the fridge. “Where is it?”

Charlie frowned. “W-what?”

Sen stepped back, gesturing wildly at the fridge. “Where’s the milk?”

“W-why? Are you thirsty? I have other things in there.” 

“NO! Where is the milk?” 

“What?”

“The milk!!” Sen spun back to the fridge, pulling things out one by one. “No skim… Oh my god, not even almond milk? What do you put in cereal?! ”

“I don’t really eat breakfast, but when I do, I eat it d-dry. Sen, why does this matter?” Charlie felt his head start to hurt at the jarring change in Sen’s actions. The abruptness made his brain short-circuit, and the fact that he had no idea what the point of any of this was only made it worse.

“Because you don’t even have fake milk!” Sen argued, voice rising in disbelief. “Who just raw dogs cereal?!”

Charlie shrugged, exasperated. “I don’t know, Sen. Normal people? WHY are you raiding my fridge?”

Sen pulled out a container of lettuce, holding it like it offended him. “What even is this stuff? Why does your fridge look like it belongs to a rabbit?”

Charlie sighed, rubbing his temples. “Sen, you know I’m vegan! You literally just gave me vegan sweets.”

“I had to test you!” Sen said, shaking his head dramatically. “I was sure you were lying…”

Charlie crossed his arms. “Why would I lie about that?”

“Because who actually eats like this?”

“I do!”

“Wait,” Sen perked up immediately. “Do you have a pantry?”

Charlie took a step back, eyeing him warily. “Sen, you’re acting weird.”

Sen scoffed, already moving again. “After what I just saw in that fridge, I need to know if you have actual food hidden somewhere. Like—human food.”

“Um, okay? Go ahead, but I’m going over there to sit down,” Charlie laughed nervously, motioning toward the couch.

“Actually, can I use your shower?” Sen demanded abruptly, spinning on his heel.

Charlie blinked. “Yeah…” he waved a hand dismissively as he made his way to the couch. “Go ahead.”

Sen was already heading toward the bathroom, calling back over his shoulder, “NOW I need to make sure all your products are cruelty-free!”

Charlie rolled his eye. “Have fun?” he muttered, unsure whether to be annoyed or amused—or just concerned for his sanity.

Charlie flopped onto the couch with a sigh, listening to the sound of Sen rummaging around before the shower finally turned on. He wasn’t sure how the night had ended up like this, but at this point, he was too tired to question it.

It was strange. Out of all his brothers, Sen looked the most normal—but he was absolutely not the most normal. Not even close. Even Beta, who wore punk clothes bold enough to make a grandma faint, felt easier to predict. Sen was something else entirely. Every interaction with him felt like a wild card.

Charlie’s mind wandered. Why hadn’t Sen tried to initiate anything physical? Did he want Charlie to join him in the shower? The thought made his stomach twist. He knew he wasn’t ready for Sen to see him naked, or even with his shirt off. Maybe Sen didn’t want to do anything right now... but then why had he come over at all?

Charlie leaned back on the couch, staring blankly at the wall.

Tonight, had been a rollercoaster. Moments of exhilaration followed by sharp crashes of doubt. The guilt from everything that had happened before still nagged at him like an itch he couldn’t scratch. The boundaries he’d crossed… it was all just too much .

But even through the guilt, there was a strange comfort with Sen’s presence. It made him feel less alone.

A small sigh escaped his lips as he sank further into the couch, closing his eye for a moment. Things could be worse.

His body felt heavy. His eyelids drooped. His thoughts blurred together. He told himself he’d stay awake, but sleep started to pull him under.

It wasn’t until a voice cut through the quiet that he stirred.

“WAKE UP!”

Charlie jolted upright. “H-huh?”

“Hi, sleepyhead.”

Charlie groggily rubbed his face, blinking as he looked up to see Sen standing near the couch with his arms crossed.

“I wasn’t gonna wake you because you looked so precious,” Sen said dryly. “But, darling, I need to ask—where the fuck am I going to sleep?”

“H-huh?” Charlie mumbled, still half-asleep.

“Where do I sleep?” Sen frowned.

“Sorry, it’s been a long day,” Charlie said, rubbing his face.

“Oh, I know.” Sen tilted his head. “Do you usually go to bed this early?”

Charlie glanced at the clock—it was nearing midnight. “No. I usually stay up l-late.”

That’s when he noticed something: Sen was standing there in an oversized shirt and loose sweatpants that looked all too familiar. His sweatpants.

“Are y-you wearing my clothes?” Charlie squinted.

“No?” Sen grinned. “Look, after showering, I’m not putting back on the same clothes I was wearing all day. Unlike you.”

Charlie huffed, sitting up straighter. “I didn’t have any other option.”

Sen shrugged casually. “Well, I did. And these are way comfier.” He tugged at the waistband like he was showing them off. “And that shirt I had on? I'm burning that thing.”

Charlie’s cheeks flushed. “I’m going to need those back eventually.”

“Sure, sure,” Sen said dismissively as he flopped down onto the couch beside him. “So…Where’s my gift?”

Charlie blinked, suddenly remembering. He got up and walked over to the bag he’d set down earlier. “Sorry, I got this last minute and didn’t have time t-to wrap it,” he said a little sheepishly as he handed it over.

A slight pang squeezed his chest as he recalled exactly why he hadn’t been able to wrap it today.

Sen’s eyes lit up as he pulled the sunglasses from the bag, holding them up to his face. “Damn, these are actually cool. I like it.”

“A-and um… guess what?” Charlie said, his voice shaking.

“What?” Sen asked, slipping the sunglasses onto his face.

“I s-stole them… so.”

Sen gasped dramatically. “Oh my god , so cute!” He pulled the glasses off and rubbed them against his cheek, then turned his attention to the bottle of wine. “And this… this is a solid choice. You’ve been paying attention, huh?”

Charlie chuckled, feeling a little more at ease now. "I mean, I know you like wine, and I thought you might enjoy some new shades."

“Let’s take a selfie!” Sen said suddenly, already pulling out his phone. He leaned in close, grinning as he threw one arm around Charlie’s shoulder. “I did need a profile picture for you.”

Charlie blinked, caught off guard. “Aw man, but I’m n-not wearing my eyepatch.”

Sen snapped the photo anyway, ignoring the protest. “Nah, this is perfect.”

Charlie groaned but smiled despite himself. “Great.” 

"I think this calls for a toast before bed," Sen cracked open the wine and looked up at Charlie.

“Oh god. Us and alcohol are never a good combo.”

“I think it’s the greatest combo.”

“Okay, okay—one glass. One more for tonight.” Charlie moved to the cupboard and pulled out two wine glasses, handing them to Sen.. Sen poured with theatrical flair, handing Charlie his glass before filling his own.

Charlie nodded and settled back onto the couch. “A toast to… well, your birthday. And to us, I g-guess.”

Sen clinked his glass against Charlie’s and leaned back with a contented sigh. He downed the entire drink in one go. “This has been my best birthday in a long time.”

“…R-really?” Charlie blinked, uncertain. He didn’t believe that. If anything, Sen had seemed frustrated and tense for most of the day, especially after being ditched by his friends.

“Yeah. Sure, it was a mess and my friends were dicks. But…” Sen took a sip straight from the wine bottle. “You know, every year, my brothers ruin my birthday. Sometimes Beta. Sometimes Alpha. Sometimes both,” he added with a dry laugh. “It’s like they think it’s a competition. They always make a scene, fight, or somehow manage to steal the spotlight—or worse, forget the day entirely. But this year? I actually got to do things my way. I got to enjoy it.”

Charlie nodded. A tightness bloomed in his chest. He hadn’t known Sen felt that way about his birthdays, especially when it came to his brothers. It hit deeper than he expected, and his thoughts flickered to Alpha for a moment. He shoved the thought aside.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, trying to sound casual even as guilt twisted in his stomach. “You deserve a birthday that’s just about you.”

Sen glanced at him and offered a small smile. “Thanks. Honestly, you’re what made it special.”

Charlie blinked, caught off guard. For a second, he didn’t know what to say. It was… surprisingly nice to hear. Honoring, even.

“Glad I could help make it a little better.” Charlie forced a smile, hesitating before adding, “I mean… earlier, when you got so upset, like, with Kai. I wasn’t sure if I made things worse. Maybe you regretted asking me to come. You got really angry.”

Sen blinked, then let out a short snort. “What do you mean? I’m the calmest person in the entire world. ”

Charlie gave him a flat look.

Sen rolled his eyes. “Okay, fine. I know I’ve got some… anger issues. I’m working on it.” He paused, searching for the words. “It’s just… when I feel like something’s unfair, it gets to me. It builds up and then, boom—I snap. Especially when I feel like people are messing with me. Or messing with people I like.”

Charlie’s expression softened. “I get that.”

“But! Enough about me.” Sen shifted. “What’s going on in that brain of yours? Do you feel better?”

“I’m okay. Just thinking.” Charlie paused.

Sen gave him a gentle, encouraging smile.

Charlie sighed. “I d-don’t know… I d-don’t know if I’ll ever stop feeling bad about myself. The self-hatred, it’s just... always there. Like, no matter what I do, it doesn’t go away. It’s hard to shake it off sometimes.”

Sen’s expression softened, his playful demeanor replaced with a more serious tone. “Hey, Chuck, you’re not alone in that. A lot of people feel the same way, even if they don’t say it. But you're not stuck with it forever. You'll find a way through it.”

Charlie gave a small nod, but the unease still clung to him. “I wish I could believe that.” He took another sip of wine, trying to swallow down the tightness in his chest.

“Wait,” Sen frowned. “Don’t you have medicine you need to take?”

“I, uh… I’ll t-take it tomorrow morning. I’m supposed to take it in the morning,” Charlie said quickly, hoping that would be enough for Sen to drop it.

“Mmm, okay. But I’m gonna be here to make sure you do.”

“I will,” Charlie replied defensively. “I’m fine, Sen. I’ve been dealing with myself my whole l-life. I’m handling it.”

“Damn, okay,” Sen said with a light laugh. “Let’s change the subject. Wait… that joke I made earlier…Was it funny?”

Charlie had a feeling he knew exactly which joke Sen was talking about. He groaned inwardly but played along. “What joke?”

“The one about, uh, me being surrounded by ladies?” Sen smiled sheepishly.

Charlie didn’t answer right away. He glanced over at Sen for a moment, then quickly turned his gaze to the wall. “No,” he said quietly. “Not really.”

Sen didn’t say anything, and Charlie didn’t look over to see his reaction.

“But it’s okay,” Charlie added after a pause, his voice softer, tinged with a smile. “I probably just didn’t get it… since I’m a woman and all. Y’know, we’re not supposed to be funny, right?” 

Sen shifted in his seat. “Sorry. I wasn’t trying to be a jerk or anything. A lot of wild things come to my mind, and they come out before I can stop myself.”

“Uh-huh,” Charlie nodded. “I k-know. It’s fine, really. I’m not mad.” He paused, swallowing whatever else he was about to say before continuing. “It’s just… maybe don’t make jokes like that in the future.”

“Noted.” Sen glanced at him, his voice more certain this time. “Just so you know… I only see you as a man, Charlie. I always have. Honestly, I was really surprised when you came out to me.”

“Thanks,” Charlie said finally, his voice small but steady. “That means more than you think.”

Sen gave a soft nod, then leaned back in his seat with a quiet sigh. “Good. ’Cause it’s the truth.”

Sen’s face suddenly twisted in thought.

“What?” Charlie frowned.

“It’s just… I promise I won’t make any more jokes,” Sen said, scratching the back of his neck. “But, um… does this mean I shouldn’t ask you any more questions about it?”

Charlie’s first instinct was to say yes. As much as he’d been enjoying Sen’s company, some of the questions he asked were borderline annoying—unnecessary, even. And talking about this topic with anyone often felt too intimate and exposing no matter what.

But then he remembered that Sen had put his tongue down his throat.

"No," Charlie said instead. "No, go ahead. It's good to ask questions. What do you want to know?"

But then he remembered that Sen had put his tongue down his throat.

“No,” Charlie said instead. “No, go ahead. It’s g-good to ask questions. What do you want to know?”

Sen glanced at Charlie, a bit of curiosity in his eyes. “What’s your deadname?”

Charlie groaned, rubbing his forehead. “Honestly, Sen... most trans people hate being asked t-that.”

“Okay, but what is it?” Sen pressed.

“Oh my god,” Charlie muttered. “I d-don’t have one, I’ve always been called Charlie. That’s it.”

Sen thought for a second and then blurted out, “It’s Charlotte, isn’t it?”

“Sen… Shut up,” Charlie said, raising an eyebrow and letting out a soft chuckle. “No one’s ever called me Charlotte since I can remember. Not even when I was a girl. If y-you ever call me that I’ll... I don’t know what I’ll do.” He grinned slightly, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m so smart.”

“Mmm hmm. Wow, yeah, you are such a scholar for figuring that out. Any more deep thought-provoking questions?”

Sen quieted for a moment. “Okay, real question this time.”

Charlie looked at him warily. “Hit me.”

Sen hesitated, then asked, “Do you ever feel like… being a guy is something you have to prove constantly? Like people are just waiting for you to slip up so they can say, ‘See? You’re not really a man’?”

Charlie blinked, caught off guard. “Yeah,” he said after a moment. “All the time.”

Sen nodded slowly. “That sucks. I feel like that too sometimes. Even though I’m, like, actually a guy. People still say I’m not manly enough.”

Charlie decided not to comment on Sen’s “actually a guy” phrasing, though it made him groan internally.

“It does suck,” Charlie admitted. “When I first started transitioning, I t-thought I had to cut my hair short, or people wouldn’t see me as a guy. But I liked my long hair. It was mostly my papa who made me feel like I had to stop liking certain things. But eventually, I realized there are tons of guys with long hair. There’s no one right way to be a m-man. I just had to figure out the kind of guy I wanted to be.”

Sen nodded thoughtfully, then said without hesitation, “Your hair is hot as fuck. I don’t know why people act like it makes you less of a man.”

Charlie blinked, his cheeks warming. “Thanks,” he muttered, eyes darting away. After a beat, he added, a little shyly, “Your hair’s really nice too, by t-the way.”

Sen looked him up and down before slowly reaching over to Charlie’s knee, rubbing it softly. Charlie felt warmth at his fingertips.

"Thanks, Chuck," Sen beamed, then added with a sly smirk, "I do have one more super serious question."

"Go on," Charlie said breathily, sensing a shift.

Sen didn’t hesitate. "Do you have an innie or an outie?"

Charlie blinked. "A what?"

"Never mind, I think I already know the answer," Sen said, his mouth twisting into a crooked smile. "I felt you."

Charlie gave him a dry look. "Are you asking if I had bottom surgery?"

"I am."

Of course, it just had to evolve into the question of what was between his legs. A favorite question that all trans people loved to hear. Actually, he weirdly did kind of like it. Of course, Sen would ask this way. The awfulness was turning him on strangely. The anticipation where this was leading.

"Sen," Charlie sighed, voice even. "Just ask if I have a penis."

Sen looked sheepish. "Okay. Do you have a penis?"

"No," Charlie laughed nervously. "I didn’t get bottom surgery."

"Oh." Sen paused, thoughtful. "Why not?"

Charlie let out a soft sigh. "Because… taking testosterone already has helped me enough. I did have some work done on my face, and I got top surgery. But that’s it."

"Why?" Sen asked again, quieter this time.

Charlie hesitated. He’d considered it once, done all the research and read horror stories.

"I hate pain," he said finally. "And that surgery… it hurts a lot. And the thing is, I don’t think about what I have down there that much. And when I do… um, uh, use it? It actually makes me feel good."

Sen was quiet for a beat, then leaned in slightly, his voice softer than before.

"I wanna make you feel good. I want to see what you look like," he said. Sen reached over and gently brushed Charlie’s hair back. "I kept thinking about earlier. All night."

“M-me too.”

Sen gave a nervous laugh. “So, uh… I’m here with you tonight.”

“You are.”

Sen stroked Charlie’s face before leaning in and placing a kiss on his lips. Charlie reached to pull the other man close, deepening the kiss.

“So how does it work?” Sen pulled away slowly and asked.

Charlie blinked. “How does what work?”

“You know… like… how do guys decide if they’re a top or bottom? How are we going to work? Wait—you did say you wanted to be the one to fuck me.”

Charlie flushed. “Well—”

“But I don’t know about that tonight,” Sen said, leaning back a little. “I’m tired too.”

“Yeah, um… Yeah, let’s wait on that another time,” Charlie said, his voice a little tight. “I think I want t-to get some new stuff first.”

Sen tilted his head. “What kind of new stuff?”

“A strap-on,” Charlie said after a pause.

“So, you use one of those,” Sen said, taking in the information. “You don’t already have one?”

Charlie hesitated. “I—I did. But I threw it out.”

Sen raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Oh my god, you love knowing the why,” Charlie said. “Bad memories. I just didn’t like how that one made me feel anymore.”

He didn’t say who it was with. Couldn’t. Sen probably could even guess who it was with, which disgusted him more. The image of Alpha flashed in his mind like a punch to the gut—Alpha smirking, mouth hot against his neck, body flush with his. Charlie clenched his jaw and shoved the thought down hard by leaning in and kissing Sen’s neck.

“I just want something new,” he said against Sen’s skin.

Sen let out noises of approval as he answered. “Fair enough. Maybe we can pick one out together.”

Charlie laughed softly, a little shakily. “Yeah. Maybe. We probably need to find one on the smaller side.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It can hurt,” Charlie frowned, pulling his mouth off him. “Y-you don’t exactly strike me as someone with a high pain tolerance.”

Sen scoffed but chuckled. “Rude. I’ll have you know I got my ears pierced without flinching.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Oh wow. The bravery.”

Sen nudged him with his shoulder, laughing under his breath. “Okay, listen here mister….”

Sen suddenly crawled into his lap, straddling him. His hands rested on Charlie’s shoulders as he settled himself comfortably, his body warm against Charlie’s.

Charlie stiffened. “What…what are you doing?”

Sen’s smirk widened. “What does it look like?” He tilted his head.

Charlie swallowed hard, his hands hovering awkwardly at his sides.

Sen leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “Relax, Chuck.”Charlie’s brain short-circuited.

“We don't have to do anything,” Sen said, rubbing Charlie's shoulders. “I know you’re tired. I’m tired. But… I’d love to prove you wrong.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Hmm…” Sen grinned, pressing in even closer. “You’ll see.”

Charlie exhaled sharply, his face heating up.

Before Charlie could stammer out a response, Sen captured his lips. Charlie froze for half a second, his heart hammering against his ribs, before instinct took over. His hands, which had been hovering awkwardly, found their way to Sen’s waist, gripping onto the fabric of his own borrowed sweatshirt.

Sen shifted closer, his legs bracketing Charlie’s sides as he deepened the kiss, his fingers threading into Charlie’s hair.

Sen suddenly pulled away slightly. “Charlie?”

Charlie blinked, curious. “Hmm?”

Sen’s gaze flicked up, intense for a second—then dropped again just as fast. “Never mind.”

Charlie tilted his head. He could tell something was tugging at Sen more than usual. “Tell me. I’ll do it, whatever it is.”

Sen hesitated. His voice was quiet, almost too quiet to hear. “I was just… wondering if we could try something new tonight. Something I’ve never done before. Something that will prove I'm not a little bitch.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

"I was wondering if...," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “If you could finger my butt.”

Charlie involuntarily laughed, then quickly covered his mouth, eyes wide. He watched as Sen's face twisted into embarrassment. “Sorry—I’m not laughing at y-you, I swear!” he said quickly, his voice gentle. “Just… the way you said it. It caught m-me off guard!”

Sen’s face turned bright red, his shoulders tensing as he looked away. “I knew it was dumb,” he muttered. “Forget it.”

“No, no—it’s not dumb,” Charlie said, his tone softening even more. “I’m just surprised. That’s all.”

“No one has done it to me before, and I was wondering if you could...you know, show me what it's like. I've been watching videos lately of it,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I asked girls that I've been with if they could do it, but they always said no. But I just...I want to try it, okay? I promise that I'm clean."

Without thinking, Charlie's hands slid down to Sen's hips, his fingers hooking into the waistband of the sweatpants. Sen's eyes locked onto his, a spark of excitement and anticipation igniting in their depths.

Charlie's heart was racing as he slowly slid the sweatpants down Sen's legs, revealing his ass. He ran his hands up and down massaging his butt before squeezing. Sen let out little whines of approval. 

"Wait, we need to get some lube," Charlie said, his voice soft, pausing his movements.

Sen looked at him. “Can you just use your spit?”

Charlie shook his head slowly. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” Sen whined.

“Because it’s not safe,” he said quietly. “It’ll hurt.”

Sen gave a half-scoff, half-laugh. “Speaking from experience?”

Charlie’s face twitched. His fingers tightened slightly where they still rested on Sen’s waist. He opened his mouth like he might say something, then closed it again. Whatever flashed across his face was too fast to read—some mix of memory and discomfort.

Sen raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. “Oh my God. You are speaking from experience.”

Charlie looked away, exhaling sharply. “I’m just saying, you wouldn’t like it.”

Sen’s expression softened a little. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that like—”

“It’s fine,” Charlie cut in. He exhaled through his nose, voice steadier this time. “Let’s just… do this the right way.”

“I didn’t bring lube or condoms because I figured you’d have them,” Sen said bluntly.

Charlie, despite being comfortable on the couch, gave Sen a gentle tap so he could move off of him. “I think I have some lube in the bathroom cabinet. Let me just check.”

He got up from the couch, heart pounding with a mix of excitement and nerves. As he walked to the bathroom, his hands trembled slightly. He wasn’t sure if it was the anticipation or something heavier pressing on his chest.

He flipped on the bathroom light, the sudden brightness washing over the small space. Stepping toward the cabinet above the sink, he opened it and scanned the shelves. After a second, he spotted the bottle and grabbed it, shutting the cabinet with a quiet click.

Charlie paused, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing thoughts. Even though he didn’t feel as bad as he expected about everything with Sen… there was still a part of him, deep down, whispering that maybe he should’ve said no. Maybe he should’ve stopped things before they went further.

But he hadn’t. And here he was.

He walked back out of the bathroom, the lube clutched in his hand. As he entered the living room, he saw Sen waiting for him lying sideways on the couch. He was touching himself, his eyes fixed on Charlie's.

"Okay," Charlie blushed. "I've got the lube.."

Sen stood up and walked over to him. Without a word, he leaned in and captured Charlie’s lips in a kiss, soft at first, then deeper. His tongue teased at Charlie’s lips before slipping into his mouth.

Charlie’s hands slid down Sen’s body, settling on his bare hips before grabbing his ass and giving it a firm squeeze.

“Where should we do this?” Sen whispered against his lips, voice low and breathless.

Charlie didn’t answer. Instead, he tugged Sen’s arm and pulled him back down onto the couch, letting Sen straddle him again. Charlie’s hand reached back to his butt to massage it. 

“Tell me if it hurts. I’ll stop,” Charlie reassured as he squeezed.

“Will do,” Sen groaned, kissing him. 

Sen’s frame was small, but he has a nice perky ass. The kind that Charlie loved. Charlie took a minute to squeeze a generous amount of lube on his fingers before using his hands to spread Sen apart.

Charlie’s hand slid their way to Sen’s entrance. He felt Sen flinch at the contact, but he took it slow by teasing gently at the entrance. Charlie kissed Sen before slipping the tip of his finger into Sen's ass. Tight muscles clenched around him. Sen gasped, his body arching up.

“How does it feel?” 

“Weird…” Sen whispered. 

“That’s normal. I’m going to push in more,” Charlie grunted. He slowly pushed in his whole finger. 

 “Ahh. Your fingers are so thick,” Sen whined. 

“I only have one finger in you,” Charlie chucked. “I need to find your sweet spot.”

Charlie curled his finger, seeing if he could locate it. But Sen let out a voice of disapproval. Causing Charlie to pause.

“You okay?” 

“Yeah… just give me a second.”

Charlie kept his finger still. They leaned into each other, kissing as Sen adjusted. Charlie wanted more than anything for Sen to have an amazing experience with this.  So he reached up his other hand to place it on Sen’s cock. He teased the tip. Before motioning his hand up and down. Sen nosies turned more pleasant. 

“Yeah, that feels good,” Sen moaned. after a few more strokes Charlie felt him relax. “You can move again. Give me more.” 

Charlie shifted his finger and Sen made tiny noises of indifference. It wasn’t until he curled his finger in a different direction and he swore Sen melted in his arms right there in then.

“Holy shit,” Sen choked. “Holy shit.”

“Right there, huh?” Charlie chuckled. He leaned in to lick Sen’s neck. He continued to curl his fingers into that spot destroying Sen. Being bold, he added another finger. Sen let out more noises of approval.  

As he fingered Sen, Charlie couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement. He had never been one for slow and gentle, but with Sen, he wanted to take his time. He wanted to savor every moment, to make sure that Sen felt good.

Charlie's eyes locked onto Sen's, his gaze burning with intensity. He could see the pleasure written all over Sen's face, and it only made him want to give more.

Charlie leaned close to Sen’s ear as he fingered him. “I’m going to do so many things with you.”

“Like what?” Sen whined.

“I could eat your ass right now if want,” Charlie let go of the other’s cock, suddenly and swiftly smacking Sen’s rump. Only lightly, but enough for Sen’s to jolt and let out a moan. “Would you like that?”

”Ah yes!” Sen's body was trembling with anticipation, his heart racing with excitement. He knew that he was on the edge, that one touch could send him tumbling over.

Charlie felt the other’s body build towards a climax. He was getting closer and closer, and he knew that it wouldn't take much to send him over the edge. With a few more motions of his finger, Sen came onto Charlie’s shirt, burrowing his face into his neck. It was loud and sounded almost like he was crying. 

Charlie slowly removed his fingers and rubbed the other’s back. 

“That was so good,” Sen laughed, shaking. Then Sen said, “I think you are right, we should get a smaller one.”

Charlie couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing. “Absolutely.”

In the quiet aftermath, they hurried to clean themselves off with a towel. Sen pulled his sweatpants back on, and Charlie led him to his room.

Sen’s eyes lit up as he looked around.“Aw, you have a fish tank!” He walked over to the large tank, pressing his face close to the glass.

“I can t-tell you more about the fish tomorrow,” Charlie said, stifling a yawn. “I’m gonna get dressed for bed.”

He opened his dresser and pulled out a set of pajamas. As he headed toward the door, Sen tilted his head.

“You going to the bathroom?”

“Um… yeah.”

“Aww, it’s kinda cute how shy you are about changing around me,” Sen teased with a grin. “One day I’ll get that shirt off.”

Charlie rolled his eyes and left the room, going to the bathroom. Once inside, he peeled off the shirt with a frown. He still couldn’t believe everything that had happened tonight—and that he’d been wearing this stupid thing the whole time. Maybe it deserved to be burned too, just like Sen’s.

He pulled on a pair of his sweatpants and a comfy shirt, brushed his teeth, and quietly made his way back to his room. Sen was sitting on the edge of his bed with his back turned, looking down at something in his hands.

When he turned around, he held up a plushie with a curious look. “You have stuffed animals.”

Charlie froze. His face flushed as he glanced at the bed, realizing he hadn’t put them away. Most were from his childhood—soft, worn out, but impossible to throw away. They reminded him of home… even if home wasn’t always great.

“Don’t be shy,” Sen said with a grin. “I’ve got some on my bed too. My brothers call me a baby, but I don’t give a shit. They’re adorable.”

Sen picked up a stuffed bear, turning it over in his hands. But then he frowned. “Uh… what happened to its eyes?”  He glanced over at the rest of the pile. “Actually… what happened to all of their eyes?”

Every one of the plushies had their button eyes torn out.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, tugging at the hem of his sleeve. “I... uh… used to do t-that when I was younger. I don’t know why.”

Sen turned the bear over again, inspecting the empty stitched sockets. “Kinda creepy.” Sen's eyes fixated on Charlie’s face. “But I think I get it.” 

Sen tossed the bear gently back onto the bed. “Better than Beta, anyway. He ripped the heads off my Barbie dolls and hid them in my backpack.”

Charlie let out a small, surprised laugh. “Seriously?”

“Yeah?” Sen huffed. “I played with Barbies, so what?”

“That’s not what I—” Charlie chuckled, then sat down on the bed. “Hey, Sen, I’d love to t-talk more, but I’m about to pass out. We should probably go t-to sleep.”

“Sure, sure,” Sen said, flopping down and pulling the comforter over himself.

Charlie wasn’t far behind. He slipped under the blanket and settled in with a sigh.

“Good night?”

“Night. Sweet dreams,” Sen murmured.

Just as Charlie was starting to drift, he felt Sen shift a little closer.

“Hey,” Sen mumbled, his voice softer than usual. “You mind if you…?” He trailed off. “Come closer and…”

Charlie blinked, caught off guard. It took him a second to process.

“You… want to cuddle?” he asked, surprised.

Sen nodded, his face slightly flushed, though he didn’t meet Charlie’s eyes. “Yeah… don’t make a big deal out of it, okay?”

“Sure.”

Charlie moved closer and gently wrapped his arms around him. He could feel the tension in Sen’s body begin to ease, his shoulders gradually relaxing against Charlie’s chest.

There was something so unexpectedly vulnerable about. Charlie couldn’t help the quiet ache that settled in his chest, a strange mix of protectiveness and affection. This whole situation was more complicated than he could wrap his head around, but for now, all he wanted was for Sen to feel safe.

Sen let out a small sigh and rested his head against Charlie’s chest. The warmth between them felt grounding, comforting in a way neither of them expected.

“Thanks,” Sen murmured. “I guess it’s nice… to have someone care for once.”

Charlie’s chest tightened. The words hit harder than he expected. He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.

Instead, he adjusted their position slightly, letting Sen rest more comfortably in his arms. He held him a little tighter.

Silence filled the room, broken only by the soft rhythm of their breathing.

Charlie had fallen asleep surprisingly quickly, holding Sen. But after just four hours, he found himself wide awake, staring at the ceiling in the dark. Sen shifted away from him during slumber. He turned his head toward the alarm clock on his nightstand. It had just turned five in the morning.

With a sigh, Charlie reached over and grabbed his charged phone from the nightstand. There were a few notifications. Some from Clem. A message from Beta. And one last message—from Alpha.

Charlie’s heart sank.

He considered ignoring it, like he had the others. Opening it would only hurt him more, wouldn’t it? He knew that. Sen was lying right next to him, it wasn’t appropriate. 

But this time, the pull was too strong.

He tapped the message.

“I regret ever meeting you.”

That was it. No context. No follow-up. Just a single sentence, like everything that happened between them had been a mistake. Like it had been a glitch in Alpha’s perfect, meticulously planned life.

Charlie stared at the screen. His throat tightened. Tears began to sting the corners of his eyes.

But then—something shifted.

Not sadness. Not guilt. Something quieter.

Acceptance.

A bitter kind of clarity. The message didn’t break him. Strangely, it felt like closure.

If Alpha could throw him away so easily, then maybe none of it had mattered. Maybe Alpha had been using everyone in the situation, not just him.

Charlie didn’t know if he regretted meeting Alpha. If he hadn’t met him, maybe he wouldn’t be hurting so much right now.  But then again… if he hadn’t met Alpha, he wouldn’t have met Beta. 

Or Senpai...

His gaze drifted toward Sen, who was still sound asleep beside him, his face soft and peaceful. Charlie had other things in his life now. Alpha wasn’t going to take that away from him.

No, he and Sen weren’t dating. And they probably never would. But Charlie could still choose to give something good. He could still choose to care.

Because making Sen happy… made him happy.

An idea began to bubble up inside him.

Charlie sat up slowly. He leaned over and gently tucked the blanket around Sen a little tighter, then pressed a soft kiss to his temple.

Then, without another sound, Charlie slipped out of bed and left the room.

Chapter Text

Charlie didn’t bother changing out of his pajamas. He slipped on his shoes, grabbed his keys, and scribbled a quick note to leave on the counter. He doubted that Sen would wake up, but the gesture made him feel more at ease.

If he couldn’t sleep, he wasn’t going to waste the hours tossing in bed. At the very least, he could make sure Sen had a decent breakfast.

Charlie climbed into his car and started the engine. Knowing it was still early, he didn’t head straight to the grocery store. Instead, he let himself drive aimlessly for a while. The streets were quiet, the city not quite awake yet. He turned on the radio, letting the music fill the silence, though his thoughts still buzzed louder than the lyrics.

The sky was pale, streaked with thin clouds, and the soft light of sunrise seemed to throw everything in his head into sharper focus. He rolled the window down just a crack, letting the cool morning air sting his cheeks. Gradually, the steady rhythm of the music, the hum of the engine, and the emptiness of the roads began to settle his nerves.

After a while, he pulled into the parking lot of a nearby grocery store. He tried to recall what he had in his fridge and what Sen might want to eat. Living alone, Charlie usually shopped lightly.

He wanted to cook for Sen, but he didn’t want to buy any animal products that would taint his pans. So he would still opt for vegan alternatives, quietly wondering if Sen would be willing to eat them.

Inside, he picked out a few basic things—pancake batter, coffee, cereal, almond milk, vegetarian bacon, and eggs. 

As he passed the pastry aisle, an idea popped into his head. Sen never got to have cake last night. Charlie hesitated for a moment, then grabbed a vanilla one, not knowing what flavor Sen preferred, but hoping it would be a safe bet. As he placed it in the cart, he silently apologized to the chickens and cows who had suffered to make it. If Sen didn’t want the vegan breakfast he was going to cook at least he could eat the cake. 

He checked out quickly and then headed back to his car. The drive home was quiet, the streets still mostly empty, and the sky slowly brightening with morning light.

When he returned to his apartment, the place was quiet, Sen was probably still asleep.

Charlie set down the variety of items he'd picked up. He set aside the breakfast items that he was going to cook and worked to put everything else he bought away. By the time everything was put away, the clock read 8:00 AM.

Charlie peeked into the room and saw that Sen was still asleep.

Maybe he should cook first?

He picked up the vegan pancake batter and scanned the directions. He was a decent cook, not quite on the level of his older brother Basset, who could whip up full meals from scratch, but Charlie had learned to handle himself in the kitchen out of necessity, especially with his dietary restrictions. It forced him to be creative,

By the time he flipped the last pancake onto the plate, the clock had crept past eight-thirty. He glanced toward the hallway. Was Sen up yet? Should he wake him?

He hesitated. He’d heard somewhere that Sen wasn’t a morning person. Was eight-thirty considered too early? Charlie remembered Alpha used to scold him for getting up after seven. Did Sen have something planned for today? He didn’t mention anything. 

He looked down at the pancakes. They’d get cold if he waited too long. Maybe he could just suggest waking up?

Charlie hovered outside the bedroom door. He lifted a hand and gently pushed it open.

The room was still dim, Sen lay tangled in blankets, a sprawl of limbs. His messy hair flopped across his face, only the slow rise and fall of his chest proving he was even alive under there.

He looked peaceful. Too peaceful to disturb.

Charlie stood awkwardly for a moment. 

“…Sen?” he tried, voice barely above a whisper.

No response.

Charlie inched closer, hesitating before trying again. “Sen… I made breakfast.”

A low, half-human groan came from beneath the covers. Sen shifted slightly, burying his face deeper into the pillow. “Ugh.”

“Y-you don’t have to get up,” Charlie added quickly, his voice cracking with nerves.

“What time is it?” Sen mumbled, thick with sleep.

“Eight-thirty,” Charlie replied, wincing at how loud it sounded in the quiet room.

Sen cracked one eye open and squinted in Charlie’s direction. “Then why are you waking me up?”

“Oh—uh! I just… thought it was late?” Charlie stammered, already regretting every life choice.

“Mmnnnh.” Sen groaned and rolled over, dragging a pillow on top of his head. 

Charlie stood frozen, unsure what to do next. “Okay. Um. I’ll… I’ll see you soon,” he mumbled, retreating with an embarrassed shuffle.

The door clicked shut behind him.

Charlie’s face was flushed as he slumped onto a stool at the kitchen island, feeling like a complete idiot. His hands trembled slightly as he reached for the coffee he’d poured earlier. The warmth of the mug pressed into his palms, but it did nothing to ease the sting of embarrassment.

Why had he done this? He should’ve just waited until Sen woke up on his own. What if he wasn’t even hungry? And worse—what if he hated that he didn’t buy him actual eggs and bacon? 

He needed a distraction. He frowned, pulling out his phone and staring at the screen. Maybe he should text his sister, Clementine? He did the mental math, calculating the time difference. It was probably late evening in Croatia. Hopefully, she wasn’t busy.

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard. Should he tell her about Alpha? About Sen? He didn’t even know what this was yet. Was it too soon to drop that kind of emotional bomb on her?

Clem was protective. And she hated Alpha. He didn’t know if he wanted to hear her say that she was right about him.

 Still, she was his sister. They’d been together since the beginning. Literally. Twins, after all. They were born together, and sometimes it felt like they’d never truly been apart, even if Charlie lived thousands of miles away. 

He sighed and finally typed:

“hey. u free?”

He stared at the blinking cursor, jumping when suddenly his phone started buzzing in his hand.

Incoming Call: Clementine 

He hesitated, then picked up. “H-hey—”

“ Što nije u redu ?!” Clementine asked in Croatian, her voice sharp with concern.

Charlie blinked, needing a second to register it. It had been a while since he’d spoken his native language out loud.

“ H-hi to y-you too …” he replied, slipping into Croatian as well.

“ Don’t ‘hi’ me. Your text was off, and you sound off. Is it Papa? Has he been trying to call you again? Or did Alpha do something? Because I swear— ”

“No—no!” Charlie sat up straighter, glancing toward the bedroom where Sen was still asleep. Thank god. Even if Sen was listening, he wouldn’t understand what they were saying. “I don’t think I sound that different…”

“You do,” Clementine said firmly. “I’ve had a bad feeling for a while now. You haven’t been talking to me. I know I’ve been busy, but… I can tell something’s wrong.”

“I… yeah. You’re right.” Charlie sighed, fingers tightening around his phone. He decided that he needed to say something. It wasn’t fair to either of them to keep it all bottled up. But he also wasn’t ready to tell her everything… Especially not about Sen. He could already imagine her judgment. “No one did anything to me. I just… I don’t know.”

“Charlie,” her voice softened, “ What happened? ”

He exhaled slowly. “ It’s kind of a long story.”

“I’ve got time. Spill .”

Charlie hesitated, chewing his thumbnail. “Alpha and I… we’re not a thing anymore. ”

Clementine went dead silent for a moment before responding in English. “Thank God.” 

“Oh… I..” Charlie's heart sank. Though he wasn't surprised, it still didn't feel good to hear. 

“I mean. Wait. What?”

“We’re not together, ” he repeated in Croatian, voice low.

“Why? ” Her tone sharpened again. “ Did he break your heart? Because if he did— ”

“No! ” Charlie said quickly. “No. It wasn’t like that. I ended it.”

Why was he lying?

The words slipped out too easily, and guilt settled heavily in his chest. It wasn’t true—he hadn’t ended anything. But telling Clementine that felt impossible. How could he admit that he was the one who didn’t know how to walk away, even when it hurt? That he clung to something that was never stable because he didn’t know what else to do?

And for some fucking reason, deep down, he felt protective over Alpha. Even now.

He swallowed hard.

It was easier this way. Easier to say he ended it. It spared him from her anger, from her worry, and from disappointment.

“You? ” Clementine said, incredulous. “ You ended it? ”

“Yeah ,” He shrugged, even though she couldn’t see it. “ I just… didn’t think it was gonna work out. ”

He heard the rustle of her adjusting her phone. “ You better not be lying to me right now, Charlie. Because if he did something… ”

“I’m not lying,” he said, his voice low as he swallowed dryly. “He didn’t do anything bad, I swear. We’re just… not in the same place. Clem, I’m glad you know, but I don’t want to go into more detail right now. It still hurts, but I’m okay. I promise.”

Clementine was quiet on the other end before sighing . “Fine. For now. But I’m putting a pin in this.”

Charlie let out a quiet laugh, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Of course you are.”

“Are you sure that you’re okay?” she asked, her voice softening. “I can visit…”

“NO, DON’T! ” Charlie blurted out, his face flushing red with embarrassment. As much as he missed Clementine, her being here would only make things more complicated. He cleared his throat. “ I mean… You don’t have to do that. I’d rather you visit when I’m in a better headspace—so we can enjoy our time together, without me being a downer. ”

“I like being around you no matter what. ”

“Ugh, you’re amazing, but it’s not just that… ” Charlie sighed. “I just need some time. I’m confused about something…”

“Confused how? ” Clementine asked gently.

Charlie stared down at his hands. He could easily brush it off by saying he was tired and still processing the breakup. But that wouldn’t be the full truth. It hadn’t been for a while.

“…It’s complicated ,” he muttered.“ There’s someone else I’m seeing now. Maybe. I don’t know. ”

Clementine’s voice sharpened. “What?! Who ?!”

Alpha’s brother.
Charlie cringed internally.

“J-just some other guy ,” he said with a nervous laugh, his eyes fixed on the table. “ We’re never going to be a couple. It’s just… for fun, haha .”

There was a pause. Too long.

“Charlie …” Clementine’s voice dropped, serious now. “ You know I love you, right ?”

“… Yeah ,” he muttered.

“ I’m not trying to lecture you. But you promised…you told me you weren’t going to go back to all that hookup stuff .”

“I’m not !” Charlie said brows furrowing.

“You literally just got out of a relationship that meant a lot to you ,” she snapped. “ I get it—you’re hurting, you’re confused, whatever. But that doesn’t mean you need to punish yourself by throwing yourself at anyone. ”

“It’s not like that ,” he mumbled, voice tightening. “He’s not! He’s not like those other people .”

“But is this the time to mess around with anyone ?” Clementine pressed. “After Alpha? ”

Charlie was relieved he hadn’t mentioned Sen by name. 

“It’s not a stranger ,” he said, trying to steady his voice. “ I knew him before, and it’s only him. I’m not going out to find a bunch of people.” He hesitated, voice dropping. “I just… didn’t want to be alone. ”

He winced inwardly, suddenly aware of how that sounded: choosing a random fling over his sister’s company. 

Clementine let out a soft sigh, but there was still warmth in her voice. “Okay, okay, I get it. Just… promise me you’re taking care of yourself. I can’t go through that again. ”

Charlie nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. “I promise .”

“You suck at lying, Charlie ,” she teased, the corner of her smile almost audible over the line.

He let out a weak laugh. “Yeah, I know. ”

Clementine grew quiet for a second, then said gently, “I’m proud of you, brother. You’ve grown a lot, even if you don’t see it. Even if you’re not one hundred percent okay yet… ”

Charlie blinked hard, his throat tightening. “You think so ?”

“I know so,” she said firmly. “I’ve watched you claw your way out of some dark places. And you’re still here. Still trying. Still loving people, even when it’s hard. That’s strength, Charlie. ”

He was silent, holding the phone a little tighter. For a moment, he let himself believe her. Maybe he had changed. Maybe he really was doing better.

But then the guilt crept in. How could he be better when he was doing this ? Sleeping with Sen, of all people. It made him feel like a mess. Even if he wasn’t Alpha brother she was right how he was jumping into another relationship so soon. Even if the relationship was just physical.

Still… her voice made it easier to breathe. 

Maybe he had changed. Maybe if this were years ago, he would’ve done something worse.

Charlie shook the thoughts away.

After a moment, Clem broke the heavy pause with a lighter tone. “ This is probably too soon to say, but… screw Alpha ,” she said with a playful edge.

Charlie felt a smile tug at his lips. “ Clemmie. You don’t have to worry about him anymore. ”

“I know ,” she said breezily. “But still. Screw him .”

Charlie snorted. “Okay, okay, I’m hanging up now. I’m too emotionally fragile for any more of this. ”

“Bye, I love you, you emotionally fragile baby ,” Clementine sang with dramatic flair.

Charlie laughed again. “Love you too .”

He breathed a sigh of relief as he ended the call and set the phone on the counter. Guilt still swirled in his chest, but he didn’t have time to sink into it because, right on cue, Sen shuffled into the kitchen, bleary-eyed and disheveled, clearly still half-asleep.

“Oh. Good morning!” Charlie quickly pushed his phone away like he’d been caught doing something wrong.

Sen grunted, rubbing his face with both hands. “Who were you talking to?”

“My sister,” Charlie said. Charlie wondered if he was able to catch onto any words he said to her.

“Figures. With all that Russian you were yelling.”

“Croatian,” Charlie corrected gently.

Sen scoffed as he dropped into the seat beside him. “Whatever. Your bed sucks.”

“S-sorry,” Charlie frowned, but honestly, he wasn’t surprised. Trying to recover the moment, he offered a sheepish smile. “Um, I made y-you breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, and bacon. But it’s the vegan kind.”

“Ew,” Sen muttered, dropping his head down on the table.

“That’s okay, I got you cereal and milk!” Charlie added. 

Sen looked up at him with a blank expression before muttering, “I fucking hate cereal.”

“But you—” Charlie stopped himself, catching the sharp edge of frustration in his throat. “I t-thought you were really concerned about me not having milk for my cereal, so—”

“It was hypothetical. I fucking hate cereal,” Sen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He took a few slow breaths, clearly trying not to snap. “Chuck, can you just give me a few minutes to wake up and get coffee in my system? I hate when people talk to me first thing.”

Charlie nodded quickly. “Yeah, I figured. I brewed some coffee over t-there.”

He turned to walk away but hesitated, glancing back. Sen was slouching by the counter, as if gravity were actively trying to drag him back to sleep.

“…Do y-you want me to make you something else? I can do toast—”

Sen shook his head, running a hand through his messy hair. “Nah, I’m good. The coffee’s gonna fix everything.”

Charlie watched him for a second longer before deciding to let it go. He picked up his phone from the counter, checking to see if Clem had texted him again. Nothing. He fidgeted with it idly as Sen shuffled over to the coffeemaker.

With a grumble, Sen poured himself a mug, the smell of coffee instantly filling the air. He closed his eyes as he took a long, slow sip. When he opened them again, he looked a little more awake. He glanced over at Charlie, who was still lingering by the counter with his phone clutched loosely in one hand.

“Hey,” Sen said, his voice less sharp now. “Thank you… for all this.”

Charlie blinked, surprised by the shift in tone. Just a few minutes ago, Sen had been grumbling and snapping at him. Now he was… grateful?

“Oh… Y-yeah. It’s nothing,” Charlie said, voice faltering slightly.

“It’s not nothing,” Sen muttered, taking another sip of coffee. “Most people don’t go out of their way for me.”

Charlie hesitated, still feeling the sting from earlier. “Well… maybe they don’t because you’re kind of a jerk in the morning,” he mumbled under his breath, not quite able to keep the irritation out of his voice.

Sen snorted, not seeming offended. “Yeah, no shit.”

He reached over and grabbed a plate, scooping a portion of the eggs and a couple of pancakes. Charlie watched him, still slightly thrown off by the whiplash between Sen’s earlier attitude and now.

“Sorry, I snapped at you,” Sen added. 

Charlie looked at him, genuinely surprised. “…It’s fine,” he said. His shoulders eased a little. “I guess I get it. I’m not exactly a morning person either.”

Sen gave a small nod before focusing on his food.

Charlie watched him for a moment longer, chewing the inside of his cheek. His gaze lingered, unwillingly, curiously.

Sen looked soft like this, sitting at the counter in his oversized shirt. His messy hair was sticking up in random places. He looked… cute. Annoying, frustrating, but undeniably cute. Charlie’s face warmed, and he quickly looked away, flustered by his wandering thoughts.

Okay. Today had already been a mess, but maybe he could turn things around if he just let some of it go. Holding a grudge against Sen wouldn’t help, and dwelling on what Clementine said would only drag him down. At least for now, he could just enjoy the rest of the morning.

“I wanted to do s-something nice for you. You’ve been… well, you’ve been a good distraction, you know?” Charlie said shyly.

Sen’s lips twitched into a slight smile. “Distraction, huh?”

Charlie chuckled. “Yeah, I guess that sounds bad. But you get what I mean.”

“I do,” Sen replied, his voice loosening, warmed by caffeine and the soft calm of the kitchen. “And, uh… thanks. You’re a pretty good distraction, too.”

Charlie smiled at that. They fell into a quiet pause. Charlie’s eye drifted around the apartment. He cringed at the stacks of unopened mail crowding the table, the random piles of clothes on the floor, and the few empty beer cans shoved near the trash.

“Sorry that my place isn’t the cleanest,” he blurted, eyes darting to the dishes in the sink. “I used to be better about it, but I’ve been kinda… out of it lately.”

Sen looked around and shrugged before going back to chew a bite of pancake. “Pfff, this isn’t bad. I’ve seen worse.”

“I guess I got used to feeling bad about messes…”

Sen raised an eyebrow, pausing with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Let me guess…One of those ‘clean freaks’ was unnecessarily up your ass about it?”

Charlie let out a short laugh, a little surprised. “Something like t-that.”

Sen watched him for a second, his expression softening.“They made you feel like crap over it, didn’t they?”

Charlie didn’t answer, but the silence said enough. Sen had to know who he meant. He’d lived with Alpha longer than Charlie ever had.

“I can be pretty messy too, Chuck. I get it.” Sen continued eating, casually stabbing a piece of pancake. “At least you’re not like Beta. I swear, that guy turned our room into a full-on biohazard. I’m still recovering... Hold on.”

He paused mid-bite, squinting at Charlie. “Did you even eat?”

Charlie blinked. “Huh? Oh. Um… no.”

Sen gave him a flat look. “You made all this and didn’t eat any of it?”

“I was waiting to eat with you,” Charlie said.

“Aww, how sweet,” Sen teased, nodding toward the counter. “Go make a plate.”

Charlie hesitated, then quietly moved to the counter and began fixing himself a plate. He added just a couple of pancakes, bacon, and some eggs. His stomach growled the moment the food hit his plate, and he realized how hungry he was. When was the last time he ate? 

“So… you’re a good cook,” Sen said, finishing the last bite of his plate. “Because this shit is surprisingly good.”

Charlie gave a soft laugh, finally sitting beside him. “Uh, thanks.”

“You should cook for me more sometime. I’m awful at it.” There was a pause as a sudden realization spread across Sen’s face. Sen shifted slightly. “Hey, Charlie.”

Charlie blinked at him as he chewed, pausing mid-bite.

“We should talk about us. About last night,” Sen said. “I mean, we kind of already did, but… I just wanna make sure we’re on the same page, y’know?”

Charlie nodded slowly.

Sen tapped his fingers on the counter, the rhythm uneven with nerves. “So, I know you know this, but…Like, we’re not dating. You do your thing, I’ll do mine.”

Charlie gave the smallest nod, eyes dropping to his plate. “Yeah. I know.”

“Yeah, ’cause… I’m meeting up with this girl later tonight,” Sen added. “Uh… yeah, ahah. Sorry. And, um—if you’re worried about STDs or anything, I promise I always use condoms. And I can go get tested before we do anything else. I’m clean, but just to reassure you, I’ll do it. My campus makes it super easy.”

“I promise I’m clean too, but I can also get tested,” Charlie said, looking down and thinking for a moment. “Sen… I want you to know, you won’t have to worry about me going out with random people.”

Sen raised an eyebrow. “Why not? I told you it’s fine. I mean, I’m going to.”

Charlie hesitated. Clementine’s voice echoed faintly in his head—about not using hookups to fill the hollow parts of himself. About healing. About doing better.

“I know. And I’m okay with that,” he said softly. “But for me right now? I just… I don’t know. I don’t feel like it. I just feel comfortable with you.”

Sen stared at him for a second, expression unreadable. “Huh?!”

“Ugh, don’t think about it too much,” Charlie muttered, already regretting how sincere he’d gotten.

“But… I’m just confused. Doesn’t seem like your nature if you racked up such a high body count. I’m starting to think you were lying about that.”

“I wasn’t lying,” Charlie said, letting out a dry, tired sigh. “I t-told you—I used to be wild.” He paused, then glanced at Sen with a more serious look. “I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to promise it stays between us.”

Sen’s expression twisted to turn serious. “Yeah. Of course.”

Charlie considered backing out but continued, “When I was younger, I t-thought so low of myself that… sex was the only thing that made me feel wanted. It was a dangerous mindset. I put myself in a lot of reckless situations.”

He swallowed, his cheeks burning as he looked away. “I got involved with… the wrong kind of crowd.O-orgy kind of stuff.”

Sen blinked, visibly startled. “Oh.”

“There were times I’d be with four or more people at once,” Charlie said quietly. “Didn’t even know their names half the time.” He let out a bitter laugh. “But fuck, it was a stupid phase to go through. I’m honestly thankful I didn’t catch something serious. Like AIDS or worse.”

He shook his head, shoulders tightening as he continued. “So yeah, maybe I’d be open to seeing people again, but not like that. I can’t do that again. I’m too old for that shit. And I know better now.”

Sen blinked, still trying to absorb it all—then, without thinking, he blurted, “Damn… no wonder you’re an expert.”

Charlie stared at him, unimpressed.

Sen winced. “Wait—shit. That came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth twitching despite himself.

“I just mean…” Sen flustered. “I don’t know how to talk about this stuff without sounding like a dumbass.”

Charlie sighed, then let out a small, tired chuckle. “Yeah, you suck at being serious.”

“I know,” Sen muttered. Then, more gently, “But I’m not saying you have to do anything crazy again, Chuck. I’m just saying… if you happen to come across some cute girl or hot guy, don’t let me stop you from shooting your shot.”

“I’m just afraid I’ll overdo it,” Charlie murmured.

“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie,” Sen said, leaning back with a mock sigh. “I know you’ve got a lot of issues.”

“Oh…”

“But it’s okay!” Sen added quickly. “I don’t care. I like that you’re being so open with me. Seriously. Sorry, I don’t have a bunch of deep trauma to throw back.”

“You’ve opened up,” Charlie said softly.

“About petty shit,” Sen replied with a shrug. “My only real problem is probably my anger and identity issues—and even that’s probably just ‘cause I’m bored. Nothing really bad’s ever happened to me. I’ve had a pretty good life, honestly. I know I’m not as messed up as you.”

Charlie narrowed his eyes. “Okay, Sen. I get it.”

“Wait—hold up,” Sen said quickly, cracking a smirk. “I do have a dead dad. That’s something spicy, I guess.”

Charlie froze. This was the first time he’d ever heard Sen mention it. Alpha and Beta tended to bring it up all the time, but Sen never did. If he remembered correctly, Sen would’ve been only thirteen when it happened.

“I’m… sorry about that,” Charlie said quietly.

“It’s not that big of a deal, to be honest. Everyone ends up with a dead dad eventually,” Sen said with a roll of his eyes. “We were never that close.”

His tone was flippant, but Charlie couldn’t help wondering if, deep down, it still hurt.

“What about you, though?” Sen asked, shifting the conversation. “I know you’ve got one shitty dad—what about your mom? Never heard anything about her. Is she dead or something?”

“No,” Charlie sighed, already bracing himself. “My family situation is kind of… weird.”

Sen leaned in, curious. “How so?”

“Sooo… my papa’s gay. Technically, I have two dads—well, not really. I never met or knew who the other one was. But honestly? I didn’t care growing up. Papa had money, so there were always nannies around. They were super sweet, and they never made me feel like I was missing anything.”

Sen tilted his head. “Okay then… but who’s your mom?”

Charlie hesitated for a second, then gave a small, almost sheepish smile. “I swear I’m not messing with you when I say this… but the ‘papa’ I always talk about? That’s technically my mom. Papa’s trans too.”

Sen blinked, trying to process it. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Yeah. I hate explaining it,” Charlie muttered. “Honestly… me being trans pissed Papa off. He couldn’t handle it when I came out. I think the idea that he might’ve influenced me just freaked him out.”

 “That’s… shitty. I’m sorry, Charlie.”

He gave a dry, uneasy laugh. “He is proud of being trans in his way, but when it came to me… It’s like he doesn’t want to see himself in me.” Charlie’s voice trailed off. “I don’t know. It’s complicated. Sorry—I’m rambling again.”

“You’re not rambling. I asked about it,” Sen said, reaching his arm over to give him a side hug. “People can be hypocrites. And it hurts more when that person’s your family.”

Charlie didn’t respond, but he leaned into the hug for a moment longer than he meant to.

Then he pulled back slightly, his tone softening. “Thanks, Sen..”

“Anything for you, Chuck. ”

A quiet warmth settled in his chest. It was strange—how someone like Sen could make him feel safe. He cleared his throat. “Um… yeah. Wait, this reminds me! I got you one more thing.”

“I feel like royalty,” Sen smiled. 

Charlie opened the fridge and pulled out a small cake. “I didn’t know what flavor you liked, but I noticed we never did cake, so… had to fix that.”

Sen’s eyes lit up. He opened the box without hesitation and immediately shoved a spoon into it. Charlie held back a comment about cake for breakfast, watching him with a mix of judgment and amusement.

“Oh my god, this is so sweet,” Sen mumbled through a mouthful, grinning. “Is this vegan too?”

“No, I was being bad for you again,” Charlie chuckled. “Happy birthday!”

After swallowing, Sen grabbed a knife and sliced off a large piece, plopping it onto a plate. “Seriously, best birthday ever. Wait—Chuck, I was wondering. Are you able to sing, or were you just not feeling it last night?”

“Well… technically, yes. I can sing. I trained to be a professional singer, actually.”

Sen froze mid-bite. “Shut up! No, you didn’t.”

“Yeah, my papa’s a professional ghostwriter for some pretty big names. He’s really into music, so he always wanted my siblings and me t-to form a famous band. Or at least for one of us to make it big.”

“But then why—?”

“I have stage fright. I hate performing”

“Yeah… that’s not surprising,” Sen laughed. 

“My sister, thankfully, is the one taking on that responsibility now. She’s the golden child—it satisfies him, at least.” Charlie paused as an idea flickered in his mind. “Hold on.”

He left the kitchen and headed into his room. His old guitar sat in the corner, quietly collecting dust. He ran his fingers over it, hesitant. His papa would be disappointed if he saw the state of it. Still, Charlie picked it up, along with a few old CDs that were stored in his drawer. They held recordings of him and his siblings from years ago.

When he came back into the kitchen, Sen’s eyes immediately lit up. “You play guitar?”

Charlie set the CDs on the counter, then carefully positioned himself with the guitar. “Yeah. I’m actually… way less shy about this part.”

He strummed a few chords, thinking he might try the "Happy Birthday" song—but winced almost instantly. The guitar was completely out of tune.

“Ugh, sorry,” Charlie muttered, blushing. “Maybe I’ll play some other time.”

“You better promise that,” Sen said, grinning. “But now I wanna hear you sing.”

“Um…” Charlie set the guitar aside, then nervously picked up the stack of CDs. He hesitated before handing them to Sen. “These have recordings of me singing. I’d rather you, uh… listen to them without me sitting here watching you listen to them.”

Sen stared down at the CDs like they were ancient relics. “Okay, but like—where the hell am I supposed to play these? I don’t have a fucking CD player.”

“Oh… wait, doesn’t your car have one?” Charlie asked, brows furrowing.

“It doesn’t. Yours doesn’t either. Do you have a CD player?”

“N-no?”

“Then how do you even listen to these?!”

“I don’t! They’ve just been sitting there.” Charlie huffed. “Um… I can get you a player if you want.”

“Please do. I actually wanna hear these,” Sen agreed. 

“Noted,” Charlie mumbled, rubbing his arm as he made his way over to sit beside him. He jolted when he felt Sen’s hand casually land on his knee.

“Hmm. When’s your birthday?” Sen asked suddenly, glancing at his cake. “I’ll probably forget it, but I wanna know.”

“March nineteenth.”

Sen blinked, then gasped. “Oh my god. You lied to me.”

Charlie immediately tensed at the word lied , his shoulders going stiff. “Um—what?”

“You’re not twenty-nine. You’re gonna be thirty..”

Charlie groaned, though a weird wave of relief crept in with the teasing. “God, don’t remind me.”

“Don’t worry,” Sen said with a wicked smirk. “Like I said, I like my girls older. MILFs are gorgeous. In your case, you’ll be my first DILF.”

Charlie stared at him, deadpan. “Please never say that again.”

Sen only grinned and leaned in to pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

Charlie blinked, stunned. “Was t-that supposed to shut me up?”

“Maybe,” Sen said, his voice low. “Or maybe I just wanted to kiss you.”

Charlie huffed, a soft exhale of disbelief—but he didn’t move when Sen kissed him again. This time, Sen’s hands found Charlie’s hips, resting there with a surprising gentleness.

Then Sen pulled back, just barely, flashing that infuriatingly smug grin.

Charlie blinked at him. “What?”

Sen reached behind him and scooped a generous swipe of frosting from the cake with his fingers. Before Charlie could even duck, Sen smeared it right across his cheek.

“Sen!” Charlie gasped, eyes wide in disbelief.

Sen leaned back, breathless with laughter, eyes glinting with mischief. “How’s that for a mess? Not even vegan,” he added in a low, mock-sinister voice. “I’m corrupting you!”

Charlie wiped at the frosting with the back of his hand, squinting at him. “W-why?!”

“Why not ?” Sen replied, licking frosting off his thumb.

Charlie should’ve been annoyed—but he wasn’t.

He didn’t flinch when Sen stepped in closer. Sen leaned in again, kissing him a second time—messier this time, hands sliding beneath Charlie’s thighs, pulling him closer to the edge of the counter. Somewhere in the chaos, Sen’s tongue ended up on Charlie’s cheek.

Charlie huffed a laugh, arms looping around Sen’s neck. “You’re cleaning this mess, by the way.”

Sen just mumbled against his lips, “Worth it.”

They kissed a little longer—slow and unhurried—the taste of frosting and each other lingering between them as morning sunlight spilled softly through the kitchen window.

And for once, Charlie didn’t feel hollow.

He felt… okay.

Chapter Text

Sen was still catching his breath, his head tipped back against the kitchen wall.

 “Holy shit,” he muttered.

“You’re w-welcome,” Charlie said, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand as he sat back on his heels.

Sen glanced down at him with hooded eyes. “You’re seriously too good at that. Like… oh my god.”

Charlie gave a crooked smile, then leaned back against the cabinet, exhaling slowly.

Sen shifted, pulling his pants back up before lowering himself to the floor beside Charlie. He stretched his legs out and leaned against the cabinet, their shoulders nearly brushing. With a lazy hand, he reached over and ran his fingers through Charlie’s hair.

“Wanna me to do stuff to you…?” he asked hopefully.

Charlie’s stomach fluttered at the touch. He was still turned on, but something inside him pulled back. He wasn’t ready to be touched like that by Sen. Not yet. He needed a moment to breathe. Maybe more than a moment.

“I…” Charlie let out a breathy laugh, fingers brushing his thigh nervously. “God, I’m tempted. But I t-think I need a break.”

Sen raised an eyebrow, glancing sideways at him. He pulled away from his hair. “Yeah?”

Charlie nodded, this time more firmly. “Yeah… not yet.”

Sen snorted and nudged his shoulder. “Fine, I guess I’ll allow it.”

“Yeah, y-yeah,” Charlie sighed. “Y-you’re going to get your dick sucked again tonight anyway.”

He paused after the words left his mouth, wondering if it sounded too jealous.

“Pfff, I don’t care,” Sen laughed. “I’d cancel on that girl if you offered, bet her head sucks anyway.”

Charlie stood and adjusted his clothes into place, trying to hide the way his face heated. A guilty flush crept up his neck. He hated how much he liked hearing that—how easily Sen would choose him over some random girl.

God, he was such a sucker for that kind of attention. The worst part? He knew it.
He was such a slut for it.

“Hey… what if we met at that sex store tomorrow?” Sen blurted, standing up beside him.

Charlie blinked, caught off guard. Then he remembered them talking about buying a strap together. Part of him wanted to say yes immediately, to keep leaning into this intoxicating thing they had going. He loved trying new things, loved experimenting. It made him feel alive .

But another part—the quieter, more cautious voice in the back of his mind—reminded him just how fragile this all was.

What if someone saw them? Someone who knew them. Would Sen care? 

“I was t-thinking…” Charlie began, forcing a small smile, “M-maybe it’s better if we go separately. I don’t think it’s a good idea to risk being seen t-together…”

He disliked how it sounded when spoken aloud. Like rejection.

He perked up quickly, grasping onto an idea. “But we could make it fun. Like—we each pick out a couple of things on our own. And… then surprise each other.”

“Ooh… I like it,” Sen grinned. “But, Charlie, do you know how expensive sex toys are? And I’m not risking shoplifting a dildo. That would be the most humiliating mugshot of my life.”

“I mean… I can j-just do it?”

“No way,” Sen said, firm. “I want to pick stuff out too. But …you’re paying.”

Charlie blinked. “O-okay?”

“Oh my God, you didn’t even argue!” Sen laughed, clearly delighted.

“I mean, I don’t mind,” Charlie said with a shrug. “You’re a student. I work full-time.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m needy and poor,” Sen muttered, then suddenly perked up. “Though I have a job interview coming up. Medical assistant at the campus clinic.”

“Really?” Charlie looked at him, eyebrows raised in genuine surprise.

“Yeah,” Sen said with a smirk, “But you’re still paying.”

“I told you I would,” Charlie said, shaking his head as he walked over and flopped onto the couch. Sen followed a moment later, settling beside him. Charlie glanced at him, wondering when he’d have to leave.

“Why a clinic?” Charlie asked.

“You do know I’m planning to apply to med school, right?”

Charlie stared at him, genuinely taken aback. Sen… wanted to be a doctor? That didn’t quite compute. Not with how easily his temper flared.

“You… want to be a doctor?” he asked slowly.

Sen snorted. “The better question is… do I have a choice?”

Charlie frowned, concern flickering across his face. But Sen didn’t look bothered. If anything, he seemed oddly at peace with the idea.

“Nah, it’ll be fine,” Sen shrugged. “As long as I make good money, I can still do what I want on the side. And honestly? I’d rather help people than become some boring, bloodsucking lawyer.”

It was hard to imagine Sen in scrubs, but hearing him talk about helping people was… intriguing. It was a glimpse into a different side of him—one Charlie hadn’t expected. He chuckled at the thought of Sen trying to calm down anxious patients instead of cursing them out.

“Congratulations on your interview. You got this.”

“Pfft, I know. I’ll charm whoever interviews me—lady or man,” Sen said. 

Charlie laughed softly, picturing it. “Yeah, okay. I believe it. So… what would y-you do if you could be anything?”

“I like singing,” Sen admitted. “But you know how hard it is to make it in that world. My mom wouldn’t even let me try.” He shrugged. “I’ve also thought about teaching. I’m looking into how I could do that, too. Maybe I’ll be a professor of medicine someday. I don’t know.”

“I think you’d be a good one.” Charlie nodded. “You’re so young, you’ll figure it out.”

“Duh, I like school,” Sen agreed. “What about you? If you could be anything, what would you want to do?”

Charlie hesitated. It was hard to put into words.

Everything he tried, he eventually got bored with. He hated talking to people, but the idea of being his boss felt terrifying. Sometimes, it felt impossible to dream about doing anything, because nothing ever seemed to stick. Nothing ever made him happy. And half the time, he just felt… bad at everything.

“I… I don’t know,” he finally said.

There was a pause. Charlie could feel the weight of Sen noticing how uncomfortable he was about thinking about this. 

Sen tilted his head. “Wait…What do you even do again? Like, for work?”

Charlie opened his mouth, “Well, I—”

“Wait, before I forget,” Sen cut in suddenly, “We need to talk boundaries. For the sex toy thing.”

“W-wait—w-what?” Charlie stuttered. 

“I’m serious,” Sen said. “If we’re doing this mystery thing, I need to know what’s off-limits. Like, I don’t want you to get me a horse tail plug or some shit. No offense. That’d be weird.”

Charlie stared at him, mildly annoyed. Of course, Sen would change the subject. He should have felt even more irritated. But at the same time, maybe it was a relief. Charlie wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep talking about the emptiness. Maybe Sen did it on purpose. Who knew? 

So instead, he let out a breath and muttered, “No offense…?”

“Yeah. No offense Chuck,” Sen said, completely deadpan.

Charlie gave him a flat look. “W-why does it sound like you t-think I’m into that?”

Sen grinned. “Hey, I’m just covering my bases.”

Charlie rolled his eye. “Fine. Yeah. W-we can make a list.”

Sen leaned in with a teasing grin. “Let me guess… your list is probably pretty short. You strike me as the type who’s down for anything.”

Charlie flushed. “Shut up.”

Sen smirked. “Well… Except for me touching you.”

Charlie didn’t respond to that. He just looked away, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

Then Sen’s voice softened. “Sorry.”

Charlie glanced over at him and sighed. “Sen, it’s fine. It’s more… me t-than you,” he explained. “I promise I’ll let you do stuff. Eventually.”

Sen blinked. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Charlie’s cheeks warmed. “After I top you first.”

Sen let out a surprised noise. “And when is that going to happen?”

“Eventuallyyyy,” Charlie said, voice low.

Sen opened his mouth to tease him again, but Charlie shifted in closer, his breath brushing against Sen’s ear.

He leaned in slowly, lips barely grazing the curve of it as he whispered, “Oh—and y-you better be detailed in that boundary list. Because if you leave it vague, I’m gonna assume you're okay with me buying the most extreme stuff I can find. L-like… a shock collar.”

He ended the sentence with a soft kiss right behind Sen’s ear.

Sen’s entire body shivered. His mouth dropped open. “Holy shit. People use shock collars?”

“Uh, probably.” Charlie shrugged, though his mind was already reeling with half the things he'd seen online.

“Nope.” Sen immediately held up his hands. “I’m not big on pain, thank you very much. I’m a gentle little prince.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Charlie rolled his eyes. “Gentle, my ass.”

That sent them both into laughter.

Once the laughter died down, Sen stretched and said, “Alright. Hurry and get me a pen and paper. I’ve got class, so you should drive me back.”

“Paper? I thought you’d just text me.”

Sen shook his head. “Nah, Chuck. I gotta keep it simple for an elderly man like you.”

Charlie ignored him. “Okay, so we’ll write it down. I’m going to include…” He paused, his voice flat. “Some tips… tricks… suggestions… um, for when you bottom.”

Sen narrowed his eyes.“Like what?”

“Well, mostly stuff on how t-to make it not painful. Also, it can get… messy. So, y-you know, some people who bottom like—”

“Ew. Are you talking about me shitting during it?” Sen made an exaggerated disgusted face. “Way to kill the mood. God Charlie. I hope you’re not into that. Because—”

“No! Stop it,” Charlie groaned and grabbed Sen’s shoulder, squeezing it. “Sen, this is why I’d rather write it down.”

“Bitch, your fingers were up my ass yesterday,” Sen said flatly, giving Charlie a look.

Charlie turned bright red. “I AM going to write it down.”

Sen snorted. “Okay, okay. Hand me a pen. Jesus Christ.”

They sat shoulder-to-shoulder on the couch, scribbling onto a scrap of paper Charlie found near his kitchen counter. As Charlie started writing, he paused, thinking seriously about what he’d not want Sen to buy.

It was kind of hard to pinpoint anything. Sen was right…Charlie was pretty open to trying most things.

Maybe… women’s lingerie?

Charlie grimaced at the thought of himself in it. The image made his stomach twist in all the wrong ways. But then… he pictured Sen in it.

Okay, that would be cute.

He shook his head and wrote it down anyway—just to be safe.

Next, he added a vibrator to the list, noting beside it that it was only because he already had a couple of his own.

Charlie glanced over and noticed that Sen was writing a lot more than he expected. That surprised him. He’d figured Sen was the type to be just as open as he was—maybe even more. Now he was beyond curious about what Sen’s limits could possibly be.

“What?” Sen asked, side-eyeing him without lifting his head.

Charlie’s face flushed. “S-sorry.”

He turned back to his paper, thankful Sen didn’t pry. Finally, he scribbled a short section with practical advice on bottoming—stuff he wished someone had told him before his first time.

Once they both finished, Charlie folded his list neatly. “Let’s open them by ourselves,” he said, holding it up. “Not around each other.”

Sen took the paper, then held out his hand with a grin. “Deal.”

Charlie rolled his eye but shook it anyway.

Standing, he grabbed his keys. “Alright, come on. Let’s get you back before you’re late for class.”

“Thank you, handsome~,” Sen drawled.

Charlie gave him a once-over, blinking when he realized Sen was still wearing his clothes. “Uh, you can return those some other time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Let me just grab my stuff, and then we can go.”

Sen disappeared back into the bedroom, and Charlie headed toward the door, the folded list tucked safely into his back pocket.

After Charlie dropped Sen off, he spent the rest of his day off doing chores and pacing around the apartment.

Surprisingly, the thoughts in his head weren’t dark ones.

He’d been worried that the second he was alone, he’d start to spiral again. But strangely… he felt mostly okay. Not just okay—he felt excited.

Which was weird, given everything that had happened. But he was looking forward to what came next with Sen.

Sure, random flickers of guilt would claw through. But he kept pushing those thoughts aside. Instead, he focused on the pleasure of it all. On how good it felt to be wanted.

Sen wanted him. Sen had practically asked him to be his first. Charlie was helping him figure himself out. Charlie was important to him. And that lit a fire in Charlie’s chest that hadn’t burned in a long time.

What made this so different from other hookups was that he liked talking to Sen. He liked learning about him. Sen was becoming a real friend. 

He still hadn’t looked at the list they wrote. Just thinking about it made him shy. He wanted to build the anticipation a little more. Maybe roll a joint later to calm down.

But his mind wandered against his better judgment to Sen on his date tonight. Charlie's cheeks flushed. They could be having sex right now. The thought sent a jolt through his chest. God, what if she were touching him right now? He shook his head quickly, trying to chase the image away.

Eventually, night fell, and Charlie was curled up on the couch when his phone buzzed.

“U up?” The message lit up Charlie’s screen.

He blinked and furrowed his brow, typing back. “Sen, aren’t you supposed to be on a date right now?”

Sen responded almost immediately.
“I am.”

“…Okay??”

“she’s so boringggggg.”

Charlie stared at the screen, eyebrows raised. Sen was texting him from the middle of a date. Against his better judgment, Charlie felt that stupid flutter in his chest again.

“don’t be mean. just be nice and let her down gently.”

“k but she has a great chest. maybe I can offer her that threesome thing with you. at least then I’d be around someone interesting.”

Charlie nearly dropped his phone as his heart sped up.

“what is with you and threesomes lately? I told you I didn’t want that.”

“wat.”

Charlie sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Sen. Don’t lead her on.”

“fine. fine. but hear me out…what if I invited her to a sex store, pretended I was picking stuff out for her, but really it was for you, and then I ghosted her?”

Charlie stared at the screen in pure horror.

A moment later:

“…too much?”

He let out a groan, snapping his flip phone shut.

“Too much doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he muttered out loud.

Charlie leaned back, rubbing his forehead. Sen’s idea of flirting was… confusing as hell. Charlie knew he shouldn’t like the things Sen said. They were crude, but God, were they addictive.

Because what kind of person texts you from a date to say they’d rather be with you?

It was wrong and selfish. That poor girl. But Charlie couldn’t help but blush.

Maybe Sen wasn’t that different from him…

After a few more minutes of staring at the ceiling, Charlie sighed and flipped his phone back over. No new texts. A twinge of worry pricked at his chest. Had he made Sen feel guilty?

Then, suddenly, a new message popped up:

“I let her know I wasnt into her. so don’t worry. she was pissed.”

Charlie smiled, a little relief settling in. He resisted the urge to tease him because, knowing Sen, he probably worded it terribly and made it worse.

“That’s good, Sen .” He typed quickly. 

“sorry I was being too weird. I wanted to make you laugh,” Sen responded. 

“haha. its fine, sen.”

Suddenly, his phone started ringing.

Without hesitation, Charlie answered, “Hey.”

Sen’s voice came through eager. “I’m in my car. Did you read the note yet?”

“N-no,” Charlie hoped Sen wouldn't be disappointed that he didn’t. 

“I didn’t read yours either. I got busy.”

“M-me too…” Charlie half-lied. “But I’m going to read it now. And I t-think I’ll… go to that store tonight.”

“Mmm, sounds fun. Maybe I will before I go home too. We better make sure it’s not the same one, huh?” Sen chuckled.

“Haha. Y-yeah.” Charlie smiled faintly, then hesitated. “Um… do y-you want to meet up tomorrow?”

Silence stretched on the other end.

Charlie's heart jumped. Oh no. Was Sen picking up on how needy he sounded?

“I mean! We don’t have to go all the way—I just meant—”

“Absolutely, Chuck,” Sen said, voice welcoming “You better read my note thoroughly. Ask me questionssss about it.”

Charlie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“If you end up going to the store t-tonight,” he added quickly, “Just get the receipt, okay? I’ll pay you back.”

There was a pause, then a small laugh in Sen’s voice.“You’re cute.”

Charlie flushed. He could practically hear the smirk through the phone.

“Anywayyy I’m going to go. Everyone tells me I shouldn’t talk on the phone while driving.”

“I would tell you that too.”

“Fuck you. Goodnight, Charlie.”

“Goodnight, Sen.” He smiled.

They hung up.

Charlie sat in silence for a moment, staring at his phone. The flutter in his chest lingered. If anything, it had gotten worse.

Shit. He was getting too attached.

He took in a deep breath. 

No, no.

It was fine. This was normal. It was just the excitement of something new, mixed with… well, everything else. The sex stuff. The flirting. The notes. That was all it was.

He just had to be mindful. Keep his head on straight. He wasn’t falling or anything. Definitely not.

Charlie grabbed the joint from the ashtray and lit it again, flopping back onto the couch with a soft groan.

He was fine. Everything was fine.

He blew out a breath of smoke and smiled up at the ceiling.

“Totally fine.”

Chapter Text

Charlie sat in the parking lot of the adult store, sweating. He’d waited until the very last possible second to read Sen’s letter. His fingers hesitated over the fold, rubbing the edge. Slowly, he opened it.

The letter read:

So, I’m pretty open to anything. I know I said I don’t like pain... but I never said I wasn’t into slapping you around a few times.

If you’re into that, I mean. 

Feel free to get things like that...

Anyway, I thought about saying this in person, but this is probably the best time.

I want our first time to be somewhere unique.

One time, I hooked up with a girl in an abandoned house we were exploring. And that was fun.

So please, let’s not be boring by doing it in your bed.

 It’s uncomfortable anyway. 

Surprise me.

But like... not too risky. I don’t want to end up on a sex offender registry. I’m too young and beautiful for that.

Charlie read it once. Then again. Then a third time for good measure.

His face was hot, and his brain was short-circuiting. Sen hadn’t included any restrictions. He was down for anything. The possibilities made Charlie’s face burn and shift uncomfortably in his seat.

And then the location request…

Where the hell were they supposed to go that was “unique,” but also not illegal?

Charlie stared out the windshield, mentally combing through his past hookups. Most were at his or someone else’s place. Even the occasional group situation had happened somewhere normal, like someone's basement or a warehouse owned by an adult entertainment company.

The weirdest place?

Ugh. High school. He cut that memory off instantly.

He glanced around the parking lot to make sure no one was watching him stare into the void.

Then it hit him.

His lips twitched. It wasn’t that crazy. But it was different. Maybe Sen had never done it before and might just go for it.

But that was a worry for future Charlie.

Right now, he just has to worry about getting the toys inside the store. 

He stepped out of the car and into the shop. The lady at the counter gave him a disinterested once-over and didn’t even ask for his ID.

He looked down at the ground, feeling old. 

He brushed it off and moved quickly, determined to get out as fast as possible. He stuck to the plan: just what was necessary to make Sen comfortable. More lube. A pack of butt plugs in various sizes. A new harness. A slimmer-than-average strap. He'd even stood frozen for a moment in front of the poppers, debating... before quietly walking away.

He’d lingered at the lingerie section for a full five minutes. But in the end, Charlie scoffed at himself and walked away. Maybe another time. 

He didn’t want to overdo it. For all he knew, after trying this, Sen might never want to do anything again with him or any other guy.

Charlie tried not to think too hard about that.

He paid quickly and left. As he walked back to his car, his mind raced deep in thought about his plan.

Sen wanted something different?

Good. Because Charlie had something in mind.

It was the next day, and Charlie stood in front of Sen’s apartment. They’d agreed to show off what they picked out.

Charlie had decided to surprise Sen with the location when the time came. He knocked, and within seconds, Sen opened the door with a wide grin.

As soon as Charlie stepped inside, Sen threw his arms around him and kissed him. Charlie returned the kiss without hesitation, smiling against his lips.

“Hello, hello,” Sen beamed as he pulled away, practically bouncing with excitement. “Okay, sit. SIT!”

Charlie laughed and dropped his bag on the floor by the couch before taking a seat, a cautious but amused smile on his face. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing great. I’m glad I had the day off. And I’m glad to see you,” Sen winked, plopping down next to him. “I couldn’t wait. You brought your stuff, right?”

Charlie nodded and nudged the bag with his foot. “Yeah. Don’t get too excited though... I only bought the necessities. Y-you go first.”

Sen raised an eyebrow, then reached into his bag and pulled out a black blindfold.

“I wasted my money,” he said flatly, before Charlie could even react.

“Y-you mean my money?”

“I wasted our money.”

Charlie frowned. “Why?”

Sen held up the blindfold and pointed to Charlie’s face. “Because I just realized…You could’ve taken one of your extra eyepatches and slapped it over your good eye. Same effect.”

Charlie gave him a deadpan look. “You bought t-that just for the joke, didn’t you?”

“Shut up. I could wear it too. It’s a classic.”

Charlie snorted but didn’t argue.

“Okay, okay, now you need to see this,” Sen said, setting down the blindfold before digging back into the bag. “Prepare yourself.”

Charlie braced himself.

Out came flavored lube—strawberry cheesecake, according to the label. Then a tiny box of... stickers? Charlie reached over to grab them, only to realize they were pasties. Stickers for your skin that are meant to be licked off. And finally... a suspiciously dense, gold-wrapped block of chocolate.

Charlie stared. “Oh?”

Sen cleared his throat, suddenly looking almost shy. “So... I might be kind of into involving food during sex.”

“R-really?”

“Uh-huh. Like… licking something sweet off someone. Or feeding someone when they’re naked…”

Charlie nodded as he picked up the chocolate bar.

Sen rushed to explain. “That one’s supposed to be an aphrodisiac! Like... ‘increases desire’ and all that crap.”

Charlie squinted, flipping the wrapper over to read the ingredients.

Sen laughed awkwardly. “I mean, it’s probably a placebo. But…”

“Sen… t-these aren’t vegan.”

Sen froze. “Wait. WAIT. OH MY GOD.”

Charlie gave him a blank stare.

Sen slapped his forehead. “I forgot! Shit. Can you just…Can you just eat this one time? Boo hoo, one cow was milked.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “You’ve made me do a lot of questionable t-things. But dairy? That’s where I draw the line.”

With a dramatic groan, Sen snatched the chocolate from his hands and chucked it behind him. “I’m done. Done with this conversation. I’ll find something else to shove in your mouth.”

Charlie laughed. “It’s okay. I’m d-down to do that. I could even bake my own sweets. Although I’ve been trying to cut.”

Sen raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Cut what? You look fine.”

Charlie shrugged. “Still... I’ve b-been feeling kinda chunky, I guess.”

Sen rolled his eyes. “Please. Having some handles is hotter than being a stick. And that’s coming from me, who looks like a string of yarn.”

“Oh, thank you. I do want to get back to my gym routine and eating better, though.”

“I get that. But soft is hot. Although…” He paused dramatically, flashing a teasing smirk. “Yeah, it’s good to watch what you eat. Maybe you should lay off the trans fats.”

Charlie didn’t react, just let the joke hang in the air with a faint, unimpressed blink. “Anyway. I’m going to show y-you what I got for us.”

Sen snorted, muttering, “Tough crowd,” but leaned forward eagerly as Charlie reached into his bag.

Out came a bottle of lube. Then a box of plugs that was still sealed. And finally... the harness and attachment. Charlie hesitated for a second, then pulled it out and set it on the couch between them.

Sen’s eyes widened. “Can I touch it? The store I went to had all the good stuff locked up in boxes.”

Charlie opened the package, peeling back the cardboard and plastic until the dildo was free. He paused, blushing slightly as he watched Sen reach out and wrap his hands around it.

“This does seem like the perfect size,” Sen mused.

“And we can go bigger if y-you want,” Charlie added, trying to sound casual. “You can insert pretty much any dildo in here. It’s… versatile.” He sighed and held up the harness, handing it over.

Sen lifted the harness, inspecting it with exaggerated focus before setting it down between them. A small beat passed as they both stared at the growing collection of items on the bed.

“So…” Charlie started slowly. “When do we want to… y’know…”

Sen bit his lip. “What did you think about my letter?”

Charlie smirked. “I have an idea. But I’m not telling y-you where.”

Sen lit up. “Shit, the blindfold has a purpose now. I could wear it in the car.”

Charlie frowned, imagining that scenario. “Sen, I don’t w-want to get pulled over.”

“No fun,” he pouted.

Then, with a casual tug at his collar, Sen leaned a little closer. “You’re so silly, Charlie. By the way,” he said, eyes gleaming, “I don’t know if you noticed earlier… but I’m wearing the chapstick you got me.”

Charlie tilted his head, smiling. “Oh y-yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sen’s voice dropped lower. “Wanna test it? And… Do some of the other things?”

Charlie didn’t answer with words. He leaned in and kissed him.

It started soft, then broke into something more urgent. They tugged at each other, mouths moving in sync, a warm curl of heat building in Charlie’s stomach. Sen’s hands slid under the hem of Charlie’s shirt.

“Let’s take this into my room,” Sen murmured against Charlie’s lips, breathing heavily.

They scrambled to gather the toys, bumping into each other as they made their way toward Sen’s bedroom in a rush of nervous laughter.

Charlie had just peeled Sen’s shirt halfway off when Sen hooked a hand around his waistband and pulled him in, their mouths crashing together in a hot, breathless kiss. Sen’s hands slipped under Charlie’s shirt, fingers tracing up his spine, making him shiver. Charlie gasped when Sen bit lightly at his lower lip, their bodies flush and warm.

With a grin against his mouth, Sen gave him a playful shove, sending them tumbling onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.

Sen landed on top, straddling him, their hips aligned. The kiss turned frantic and messy, Charlie grabbing at Sen’s waist, holding him close.

“God,” Sen panted against his lips. “You’re so hot.”

Charlie barely had time to respond before Sen kissed him again, deeply. 

Then Sen broke the kiss, their foreheads pressed together, catching his breath. “What… what do you wanna do?” he murmured.

Charlie opened his eye, voice low and shaky. “I think I w-wanna—”

Click.

The sound of the front door opening froze them both.

Footsteps.

Sen’s eyes widened in panic. “Shit. Shit!” He bolted to the bedroom door and quietly swung it shut, pressing his back against it.

Charlie lay stiff on the bed, frozen in place, heart pounding in his chest.

Sen looked at him and mouthed, “ It’s fine ,” even though his breathing was shallow and panicked.

A familiar voice echoed from the front of the apartment..

“Sen? You home?”

Charlie’s stomach dropped. His eye widened in horror.

Alpha. Of course, it was Alpha.

Sen stood frozen for a few seconds, his brain buffering, before shouting far too loudly. “NOT a good t-time, Al! NOT A GOOD FUCKING TIME! Why did you come without texting first?! Holy shit!”

There was a pause. Then a muffled, offended grumble. “Excuse me? I’m your family. I need to discuss something with you. Come out here.”

Sen slapped a hand over his face. “Alpha… I’m… Someone is over right now. LEAVE. Please!”

“Oh... OH! EW,” Alpha gagged dramatically. “I’ll call you. BYE!”

The door slammed shut a moment later.

Sen stood there for a second, silent, blinking at the now-quiet apartment.

Charlie still hadn’t moved.

Then Sen turned slowly to him. “Well, that was awful…You okay?”

Charlie didn’t answer.

His breathing had gone shallow. His fingers trembled where they clutched the sheets. A low, tight sound escaped his throat.

Sen’s expression dropped. “Hey… hey, no, no, no. Charlie.”

He crossed the room fast, dropping to his knees at the edge of the bed and grabbing Charlie’s hands.

“Charlie, look at me.”

Charlie’s chest was rising too fast. His lips parted like he was about to speak, but nothing came out.

“Charlie.” Sen reached up and gently cupped both sides of his face. “You’re okay. Breathe with me, okay? You’re not in trouble. It’s just Alpha. And he’s an asshole. That’s it. That’s all.”

Charlie blinked rapidly, his vision clearing in pieces.

Sen gave him a gentle shake, just enough to pull him back. “You’re here with me, Charlie. Nothing bad happened. It’s okay.”

A broken breath finally escaped Charlie’s mouth.

“There you go,” Sen said gently, his thumb brushing across Charlie’s cheek. “Good.”

Charlie closed his eye and leaned forward until his forehead rested against Sen’s shoulder. His breathing slowly began to steady, the adrenaline fading like a wave receding from the shore.

Sen wrapped his arms around him, rubbing slow circles on his back.

After a quiet moment, Sen pulled back just enough to meet his gaze. “Listen. You have to promise me something.”

Charlie glanced up, still shaky.

“Promise me that this didn’t ruin it,” Sen said. “I mean, yeah, it ruined what we were doing before. But promise me you’re not going to crawl away and disappear from me. Because this? Us? It’s not ruined. Okay? It’s not over.” He smiled. “We are going to do so many fun things together. I want to do them with you.”

Charlie hesitated. Something tightened in his chest. Maybe this was the moment. Maybe he could finally tell Sen the whole story.

But it slipped away as quickly as it came.

He gave a small nod.

“Say it,” Sen coaxed.

Charlie swallowed. “It’s n-not ruined. W-we’re okay.”

Sen grinned. “Damn right we are.” He brushed his fingers through Charlie’s hair. “How about you take a nap here… or go home and relax. Either way, let’s hang out later. Like we could just watch a movie or something.”

Charlie nodded again. “Yeah… okay. I think it’s better if I stay with y-you right now.”

“Perfect,” Sen said, giving him a soft smile. “We can order some food and just hang out. You do know that, at the end of the day, we’re friends, right? Everything’s cool.”

As Sen moved into the living room to give Charlie a little space, Charlie sat quietly on the edge of the bed, the last tremors of panic fading from his body. He still felt anxious but in a strange, unexpected way… also safe.

For a moment, he wondered if he had failed again in telling Sen the truth.

But he let the thought slip away.

Sen had been exactly what he needed.

And why would he risk ruining that?

Chapter Text

Charlie stepped out into the living room and barely got a word out before a glass was pressed into his hand.

“You strike me as someone who loves rum,” Sen said. “I made it strong. We both need it after all that.”

Charlie answered by drinking. He coughed as the alcohol hit his throat like fire. “Jesus.”

“I warned you,” Sen chuckled. 

Charlie looked around the room, half-expecting Alpha to still be lurking somewhere. He noticed calming music playing low from a speaker. 

He hesitated. “You… y-you didn’t know he was coming over?”

Sen choked on his drink, clearly taken aback by Charlie bringing it up. “Of course not! I swear! He shouldn’t have shown up uninvited. But… I’ll be honest, not that it excuses anything, but I’ve done the same thing to him before. Just barging into his room or apartment. So I guess I can’t be too mad.”

Charlie nodded in agreement. He vaguely remembered the times Beta and Sen would crash at Alpha’s place unexpectedly. But still… This could be a problem if it happened again. 

“Sorry,” Sen muttered. “I don’t even know what the fuck he wanted. Probably something about Beta coming back soon. Or…” He trailed off, his jaw tightening. “Never mind. Doesn’t matter. He can call me later.”

Charlie didn’t respond. He was trying not to think about the possibility that Alpha might tell Sen how things had ended between them. But now… now it was all he could think about. What if that had been the whole reason Alpha showed up?

“I don’t even want to talk to him,” Sen said flatly. “Thank god, we’ve barely been speaking.”

“Oh… y-yeah. Yeah.” Charlie hesitated. “Did you use to t-talk to him a lot?”

“Duh. He is my brother, after all. When I was younger, we told each other everything. It’s true, he never liked having younger brothers, but he tolerated me the most.” Sen’s voice dipped slightly. “But, you know… things change. I started to realize how tired I was of living in his shadow and of being his therapist. And then… he made friends with you .”

“Oh.” Charlie’s voice was small. “Y-yeah. Things change.”

His stomach knotted. Friends. That word didn’t feel right. Maybe it never had. Not with Alpha. Not with everything that had happened between them. God, he wished this conversation would end.

“I’m worried he saw my car or something,” Charlie said. 

“Oh, please. He didn’t,” Sen waved. “Alpha might seem smart, but he’s so narcissistic that he misses anything that doesn’t revolve around him. Chuck, there’s no way he’s figured out what we’ve been doing.”

“I guess you’re right… But maybe w-we should keep it in mind going forward.”

Sen raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean? You're saying I should only come to your place from now on?” He scoffed. “What if Alpha shows up there instead, begging like a bitch to win you back? We shouldn’t have to change shit for him.”

Charlie shut his eyes. The irony stung. “I was just saying.”

“It’ll be fine,” Sen muttered, downing the rest of his drink with a grunt. He shook his head.  “Let’s just forget it happened. I’m so done thinking about him.”

Before Charlie could answer, Sen nudged him toward the couch. He put on a movie without asking what he wanted to watch. Charlie didn’t mind. He was tired of choosing.

For a while, neither of them spoke. Sen leaned into the couch cushions with a sigh. Charlie sat closer than necessary. Maybe it was the drink, or the remnants of the panic still faint in his chest, but he found himself drawn like a magnet to the other man.

But thankfully, Sen didn’t seem to mind the closeness. If anything, his body language seemed to like it. Could it be possible that Sen wanted to pick up where they left off earlier? Did he want Charlie to touch him?

Their hands rested on the couch between them. Sen’s pinky twitched. Charlie’s heart kicked against his ribs.

Then, hesitantly, Sen’s fingers brushed against Charlie’s. Charlie glanced at him.

Did he want…? Did he want to hold his hand ? They shouldn’t be doing that. What would even be the point?

But neither of them moved away. Their hands touched. 

Just… pinky to pinky.

Charlie looked down at their fingers, then back at the screen, pretending to focus on the movie. Sen didn’t say a word. Charlie didn’t either.

His chest tightened. Why did this feel more intimate than making out or anything else they’d done? Was he reading too much into it? Was Sen…

But then, without warning, Sen pulled his hand away and grabbed the remote, pausing the movie.

Charlie looked at him, startled. Sen looked back. 

“Hey,” Sen said quietly. 

Charlie’s heart dropped. “Um…Yes?”

Sen hesitated but then said, “You still need to pay me back for the stuff I bought.”

The words landed between them blunt and cold.

Charlie blinked. “W-what?”

“Pay me back for the stuff I bought. Please.”

Charlie forced a smile. “Oh! Y-yeah, of course. I w-will. I have cash.”

“Perfect. You can give it to me when you leave.”

Sen unpaused the movie like nothing had happened.

Charlie leaned back slowly, eyes fixed on the screen, though he couldn’t follow what was happening anymore. His hands folded in his lap, stiff and cold.

The moment was gone. But maybe there hadn’t been a moment at all, perhaps he’d imagined it.

For the rest of the movie, Charlie didn’t move.

After the movie, Charlie felt antsy to go home. Sen had offered for him to stay the night, but the longer he lingered, the more it felt like he needed to escape. Not because he wanted to leave, but because he thought he should .

As he was slipping his shoes on, Sen stood by the door, staring down at the floor.

“Hey,” Sen said softly. He reached out and gently touched Charlie’s chin, lifting it until their eyes met. “Remember what you promised me.”

“I know.”

“Seriously, Chuck.” Sen sighed. “Despite everything, I loved doing stuff with you today. How about we meet on Friday to finally… You know—” He winked. “Is that enough time to plan what you had in mind?”

Charlie's original plan flickered in the back of his mind, but it felt distant now. Foolish, even. Still… he’d made a promise. And he had to follow through with it.

“I think so,” Charlie said. “I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

“Perfect.” Sen grinned. “Text me when you get home. Be safe.”

Then, standing on his toes, Sen leaned up and kissed Charlie lightly on the lips. Charlie froze, only half-heartedly returning the kiss.

Sen pulled away, lingered for a second to watch Charlie’s expression. But Charlie didn’t give him anything. His eyes flicked away.

“Have a good night, Sen,” Charlie said while leaving.

And as he walked away, his mind spun.

How the hell was he supposed to go back to his place after everything that had just happened? 

How was he supposed to keep that promise now that feelings were starting to form?
It was clear to him now that feelings were involved. Even if he knew logically that this infatuation was just a side effect of being lonely and broken, it didn’t matter. It was still growing. And he was scared of what it might become if he kept doing this with Sen.

What a mess.

Charlie stopped walking.

Why was he even going home? For what? To sit in silence and spiral all over again?

He shook his head.

No.

Alpha coming over meant nothing. And he wasn’t going to let his feelings twist into something bigger.

This wasn’t love. It was sex. That’s all it ever was and all it ever would be.

It’s what Sen wanted. It’s what he should want.

Fuck it.

Charlie turned on his heel and stormed back toward Sen’s apartment. He knocked hard. No answer. The third knock made the door creak open slowly.

“Charlie, did you forget someth—?”

Charlie shoved his way inside, slamming Sen back against the wall with a rough thud. His hands gripped Sen’s shoulders, breath hot and fast.

“Whoa. This is giving me déjà vu,” Sen laughed, surprisingly, but he didn’t push him away.

Charlie grabbed Sen’s face and kissed him, then pulled back just enough to speak.
“I need to do what I wanted to do to you earlier.”

Sen’s face flushed. “Oh. Okay. What… what do you want to do?”

Charlie didn’t answer. He grabbed Sen by the wrist, spun him around, and bent him over the couch in one smooth, deliberate motion.

Leaning in close, Charlie let his lips brush the shell of Sen’s ear. “Remember when I said I wanted to eat your ass?”

Sen let out a startled laugh, his body tensing under Charlie’s grip.
“I wasn’t kidding,” Charlie added.

Sen’s voice dropped to a shy murmur. “Should I, like… shower again first?”

“No,” Charlie dragged his fingers slowly down Sen’s spine. “Don’t care.”

His hands slid down to the waistband of Sen’s sweats and boxers, fingers curling into the fabric. In one smooth tug, he pulled them down. The fabric bunched around Sen’s ankles.

Sen exhaled sharply, bracing himself against the couch. “Oh my god,” he breathed, half in disbelief and half in arousal.

Charlie dropped to his knees behind him, letting his palms glide over the backs of Sen’s thighs, then up to the curve of his ass. He gripped and spread him open with both hands.

Sen shuddered. “Oh my god. Oh my god.”

Charlie leaned in slowly, kissing the soft skin just below the base of his spine first. His tongue followed after, warm and steady, teasing small circles.

“You’re squirming,” Charlie murmured, leaning back. He then used one of his hands to squeeze Sen’s ass in punishment. 

“Jesus,” Sen hissed, fingers gripping the cushions. “You’re really…Shit. Okay…”

Charlie answered by groping him more before spreading him open wider with both hands, before diving in without any further warning or foreplay.  He licked with no hesitation, tongue dragging over his rim.

Sen’s nosies were music to his ears. He slowed down before pausing. 

“You love this?” Charlie chuckled. 

“Yes! Don’t stop.” Sen whined. 

Charlie spat on his entrance before flicking his tongue out against his entrance, and Sen’s entire body jerked. Charlie smirked before doing it again, slower this time, dragging the flat of his tongue with a low hum.

As Charlie continued to eat Sen out, he used one hand to reach Sen’s front to jack him off and used his other hand to rub inside his pants. God, he wished he had brought his viberator. It only took a couple more minutes for Sen to melt in his hands completely. 

“FUCK.” Sen cried as he came. 

The room was silent except for the sound of their breathing. Sen collapsed forward onto the cushions, while Charlie remained still behind him. He rested his forehead lightly against the back of Sen’s thigh before removing his hands from inside his pants. 

Neither of them spoke for a long moment.

Eventually, Charlie rose slowly to his feet. He glanced down at Sen. His face was half-buried in the fabric, still catching his breath.

“That was…” Charlie began, then trailed off. No word seemed to fit.

Sen let out a soft, dazed laugh. “Yeah.”

Charlie quietly slipped into the kitchen to wash his hands and splash water on his face. He lingered there a moment, collecting himself. Then he grabbed a few clean towels and returned.

Sen had already pulled up his pants, moving sluggishly on the couch.

Without a word, Charlie handed him the towels, then stepped behind the couch. He hesitated before leaning down and rubbing slow, gentle circles across Sen’s back.

“You okay?” he asked quietly.

Sen nodded weakly, using one of the towels to wipe his face. “Yeah. Just… damn.”

Charlie reached for a nearby blanket and draped it over Sen’s shoulders, silent again.

“I’m going to go home,” he said softly.

“Really?” Sen looked up, one brow raised. “You’re… leaving?”

Charlie nodded, adjusting his clothes. “Yeah. I should.”

Sen gave a short, breathy laugh, but he didn’t ask him to stay. He knew what this was.

“I’ll text you,” Charlie added.

Sen nodded.

Charlie offered a faint smile before turning to leave. At the door, he paused and glanced back. “You sure you’re good?”

Sen gave a lazy nod. “Yeah. Man, Charlie… you’re nasty. But that felt good.”

Charlie returned the faintest smile. “Thanks for letting me… y’know. That.”

And with that, he slipped out, shutting the door softly behind him.

They were back on track.

And all it took was kissing someone’s ass. Literally.

Chapter Text

Charlie heard the knock before he could finish tying his scarf. When he opened the door, Sen stood there in white navy pants and a white button-up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His collar hung just loose enough to show the line of his neck and a hint of collarbone. A duffel bag was slung over one shoulder, and sunglasses perched haphazardly in his hair.

“Hey!” Sen grinned as he stepped inside.

Charlie moved aside, exhaling in relief as he shut the door. For a moment, he worried Sen might not show up. They hadn’t talked much since their last meeting, just a few short texts. He reassured himself they were both busy; he had work and preparations, and Sen had school. But a nagging thought remained: maybe he hadn’t managed things well before.

Sen dropped his bag by the couch. His eyes trailed over Charlie slowly, clearly lingering longer than necessary. They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, before Sen broke the tension with a laugh. “Damn, you look good.”

“Oh, thank you,” Charlie muttered, glancing down at himself. He wore a reddish-brown shirt with a mustard scarf knotted neatly around his neck, the trim of his pocket and cuffs matching. 

“Y-your outfit looks good t-too,” he added.

“Thanks. So, where are we going, handsome?”

“Oh, um…” Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you want me to tell y-you now or later?”

Sen tilted his head, stepping in just a little closer. “I like the idea of it being a surprise.”

As he said it, his fingers brushed along Charlie’s arm, enough to send a sharp little current up Charlie’s side. He turned away from him shyly. 

“Okay. You ready to go?” Charlie asked, speaking more quickly than he had planned. Before he could think twice, a bad joke escaped him. “Thankfully, where we’re going, your brother won’t, uh, interrupt us.”  

The words landed flat. Sen’s hand returned to his side. There was no chuckle or even a hint of a smile. 

 Charlie swallowed, wishing he could reel the words back in. “Uh, yeah… ahah.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Wait,” Sen said, his smile faltering. “So… is what I’m wearing okay? Never mind, it is. You said I looked fine. How far away is it?”

“About an hour and a half,” Charlie replied cautiously, concerned that Sen didn’t comment further on his awkward joke.

“Damn, really? Does where we’re going have a place to eat?”

Charlie studied him. Sen had a decent poker face, but something was off; his voice carried less playfulness, and he barely met Charlie’s eyes. He’d struck a nerve.

“Uh… I was planning to t-take you somewhere to eat, and maybe stop at a gas station for snacks if we get hungry later.”

“Never mind.” Sen shook his head. “We shouldn’t eat before, right?”

“Sen, I don’t want y-you starving. We’re going to eat. It’s fine—”

“No,” Sen cut in, firmer this time. “I’d rather not.”

Charlie exhaled, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Panic flickered in his chest as his mind ran on what he should do. Push or let it go? Would asking if Sen was mad make him angrier? It may be safer not to press.

“…F-fine.” Charlie agreed. “W-we’ll grab some instant ramen or something for you.”

Sen nodded, a flicker of relief softening his face. “Okay… ramen’s fine. Do we need anything else? Like thicker jackets? Or… water? A taser?”

“A… t-taser?” Charlie blinked, caught between confusion and a prickle of unease. “Are you trying to figure out w-where we’re going?”

“NO!” Sen scoffed, then gave an unnatural, mocking little chuckle. “Wait… you haven’t even shown me your fish tank yet. What kind of fishies are in there?”

Charlie squinted at him. The questions weren’t odd on their own, but the way Sen layered them, one after another, with that half-mocking tone, it almost felt deliberate. Like he was pushing buttons. Stalling. Maybe even messing with him just to see what he’d do.

His words from earlier were still hanging in the air. He decided bluntness was better than letting this drag on. 

“Are you okay? Did I upset y-you?”

“What? No! Shut up.” Sen rolled his eyes.

“But you are acting weird. I’m sorry for w-what I said, alright?”

“UGH, it’s fine. I don’t care,” Sen groaned, though he stood there pouting before adding,  “BUT it does remind me of something that’s on my mind. But I know it’s fucking gay to say it.”

“Y-yeah?” Charlie hesitated. “Please say it.” 

Sen’s jaw tightened. “Are you having second thoughts? Because… like I said, I want to do this. But not if you don’t. If you’re even a little unsure, I’d rather we didn’t.”

Charlie shut his eye for a moment, weighing his words. Yes, he wanted this. The more time he spent around Sen, the more he craved that closeness. But guilt still crept in sometimes. Even so, the pull toward Sen was stronger than the doubt. He just didn’t know how to say that without also sounding desperate.

“Never mind,” Sen muttered, waving a hand dismissively when Charlie didn’t immediately respond. “It was stupid to ask. Forget it.”

“No, wait! I’m trying to figure out how to say this.” Charlie sighed. “Tell me why y-you’re doubting me?”

Sen exhaled sharply through his nose. “Do you even have to ask? Firstly, because of what happened last time. You could’ve stayed over, but you didn’t. You left right after—” His mouth twisted. “Which is fine! But we haven’t been talking much since then. So I can’t help but worry that you’ll have another meltdown. I guess part of me wondered if… I don’t know. This whole thing’s been a mess from the start. But… ugh, forget it. I’m being hypocritical.”

“No, you’re not. I know I haven’t b-been handling this the best. Everything is f-fine. It’s just… You know how I am.”

“I do,” Sen said flatly. “Which is why I said never mind.” His tone had sharpened. He slung his bag over his shoulder. “I’m tired of talking. Let’s just go.”

“Wait.”

Before Sen could turn fully toward the door, Charlie stepped forward and caught his arm. In a swift motion, he pulled Sen into his chest, making the man fumble and clumsily drop his bag. Sen’s face scrunched in surprise.

“W-what the hell?!” 

“Look,” Charlie said. “I’m tired of being sad. I just… I just want to feel good. I want this. I want to do this with you.”

For a second, neither of them moved. Then Sen’s mouth twitched before he leaned in and kissed Charlie. Charlie exhaled, a small smile tugging at his lips as he slid his hands to Sen’s hips, before giving his butt a firm squeeze.

“I needed to hear that,” Sen said against his mouth. “Glad you’re keeping your promise, Chuck.”

They leaned in again, closer this time, until Sen pulled back with a faint smirk. “We should save this for later, big guy.”

Charlie grunted, releasing him as Sen stooped to pick up his bag and reached for the doorknob.

“Go ahead and head to my car. I’m going to grab my stuff,” Charlie said, stepping back toward his room.

Sen nodded and slipped out the door.

Charlie moved quickly, grabbing his backpack with a change of clothes, a couple of thick jackets, a small bag of toiletries, and his guitar. He paused in the kitchen, snatching up a few vegan mac & cheese cups and other snacks, knowing it was unlikely they’d have them at the gas station. Slinging everything over his shoulder, he locked up and headed down the stairs.

Outside, Sen was leaning against the side of the car with his arms crossed. His eyes flicked to the guitar case.

“Bringing your guitar, huh? Planning on serenading me under the stars?”

Charlie rolled his eye, unlocking the car. “Or just giving us something to do when we get bored.”

“Bored?” Sen chuckled, pushing himself off the car and sliding into the passenger seat.

Charlie tossed his things into the back and climbed in, starting the engine. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. I’m really wondering where we are going if it’s almost two hours away.”

“That’s why I told y-you to pack. And tomorrow… it might be nice to explore the area around a bit.” He stumbled over his words, careful not to give too much away.

The drive settled into a mix of brief small talk and moments of quiet. Near the end of the route, Charlie pulled into a gas station. Sen disappeared down the aisles, returning with ramen, chips, a bag of sour candy, and a peach soda tossed into the basket. Charlie got some bottles of water and beer. 

Then they were back on the road. As they got closer, Charlie rolled down the windows, and the faint scent of salt drifted in. One hand on the wheel, the other near the gearshift, Charlie followed the curve of the highway as the ocean suddenly revealed itself.

Sen leaned out the window. “Whoa. Look! The water’s right there.”

“Nice, huh?”

Sen grinned. “Nice? It’s perfect. I like the beach. Mom didn’t bring us much growing up. Especially after… Well, anyway. If I lived here, I’d be out there every night. Just sitting, listening to the sounds.”

Charlie frowned slightly, then turned his eyes back to the road. 

“Are we doing it on the beach?” Sen guessed. 

Charlie smirked. “Would t-that be so bad? You just said you loved the beach.”

Sen slouched back in his seat. “Yeah, but like for only twenty minutes.”

“W-what?” Charlie’s stomach sank. He wasn’t even planning to stay on the beach, but now he was worried that Sen would think his idea was ridiculous. He kept his expression steady, eyes fixed ahead.

After a beat, Sen muttered, “I just don’t want sand in my butt.”

Charlie’s mouth twitched as he fought a laugh. Finally, he said, “Relax. W-we’re not doing it on the sand.”

“Thank God. Seriously, where are we going?”

“We’re almost there.” Charlie glanced at him briefly before focusing back on the road. “It’ll be a little cold, but I brought jackets. And we’ll be… somewhat inside.”

Sen tilted his head. “Somewhat inside?”

“You’ll see.”

The car rolled on for a few more minutes before Charlie finally slowed and pulled into the parking lot of a well-kept marina.

Sen’s eyes widened at the sight of rows of moored vessels rocking gently in the water. “Wait… you’re kidding.”

Charlie shut off the engine and turned toward him, smiling. “Surprise!” 

“We’re going on a boat?! You have a yacht!” Sen laughed, almost in disbelief. “YOU have a fucking yacht?”

Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not a yacht. It’s… a cabin cruiser. Still big and it’s got a bed and a bathroom, but it’s not a yacht.”

“Uh-huh.” Sen squinted at him. “What’s the difference?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Charlie muttered, already feeling there was no point explaining. “Come on. We’ve got to take the little boat out to it.”

“Oh my god, hell yes.”

Charlie eased a little at Sen’s enthusiasm. “H-have you been on a boat before?”

“Only a couple of times. Once Mom took us whale watching.”

“That’s cool. Did you know I—”

“It was boring as hell.”

“Oh oh… uh, I hope this is less boring.”

“Of course it will. Come on, let’s go,” Sen swung his car door open and stepped out, immediately shivering. “Fuck, it’s freezing.”

“Y-yeah… sorry. That’s why I didn’t tell you to bother bringing a bathing suit. Maybe in the future we can swim,” Charlie explained. “People don’t usually go out this time of year. The boat’s got a heater in the cabin at least.”

Charlie climbed out too, reached into the back seat, and pulled out two jackets. He tossed one to Sen, who slipped it on right away. It hung a little too big on him, almost swallowing his frame. Charlie couldn’t help the faint tug of a smile at finding it cute before shrugging into his own.

They walked down the dock to where a small motorboat waited, gently bumping against the waves. Charlie set their bags inside.

“You get in first so I can hand you our bags and untie it,” Charlie directed.

“Why do I feel like this is the scariest part?”

“Mm, a little. This boat’s shakier because it’s smaller. Just take your time.”

Sen stepped into the boat first, wobbling slightly as it rocked. Charlie steadied the rope and passed their bags down to him one by one before starting to untie the line.

“C-careful,” Charlie muttered. “You can swim, right?”

“Oh, fuck you.” Sen glanced down at the dark water, his nose wrinkling. “If we fall in, we’re going to freeze to death, aren’t we?”

“It’s not that cold.” Charlie stepped in after him, giving the dock a gentle push with his foot. 

Sen crossed his arms. “I’m just saying. This must be what it felt like on the Titanic.”

“No way. It was way colder t-there. You’ll be fine,” Charlie said, rummaging in a storage hatch. He pulled out a bright orange life jacket and held it up with a smirk. “Want some peace of mind?”

Sen stared at it. “That thing looks stupid and ugly.”

“Yeah, but it floats,” Charlie teased, giving it a little shake before putting it on himself. Then he pulled out another one. “Put it on, please. Not optional.”

Sen groaned, then snatched it out of his hands and tugged it on. “Fine. But I’m not wearing this when you fuck me. Ew.”

“Why not? Isn’t protection important during sex?” Charlie chuckled as he pulled on the motor. It buzzed to life easily. He was glad he’d come by two days before to check everything over.

They moved away from the dock, the boat sending ripples through the water.

When they pulled up beside the larger boat, Charlie slowed the motor and reached for the anchor line. He dropped it over the side with a splash, letting the small boat settle as it caught. Only then did he reach into his bag and plopped a white captain’s hat on his head.

“Permission to come aboard, sailor?” he asked in an overly formal tone.

Sen barked a laugh. “Gayyyy.”

“I know,” Charlie shot back. He reached for the ladder and hauled himself up onto the boat. Looking down at Sen, he waved before reaching to catch their bags as Sen handed them up one by one. Sen was surprisingly efficient. Once Charlie’s guitar was aboard, he offered a hand to pull himself up. Sen climbed the ladder slowly, testing each step.

“It’s smaller than I expected,” Sen said as his feet hit the deck, glancing around. He took off his life jacket and tossed it to Charlie. “But still so cool.” 

Sen shot Charlie a skeptical smirk. “So… you seriously know how to drive this thing?”

“Yes. Of course. I used to drive all the t-time.” Charlie said as a flicker of confidence cut through his usual shyness. Charlie took his own life jacket off and placed his and Sen’s in a chest on the boat. “I’m the captain, Sen. You’re going to be my hands.”

“Captain Charlie, okay…” Sen snorted. “God, you’re so cringe. Wait. What’s a hands?”

“A crew member.”

“So, if I’m your crewmate, does that mean I get to drive the boat too?”

Charlie immediately shook his head, getting flashbacks of his driving. “No.”

“What? Why?”

“Mmm. Maybe next t-time.”

“But why not?”

“You’re staying on deck, Sen. I’m the captain, remember?”

“UGH. FINE.”

“Besides, we’re not moving tonight anyway. It’s too dark.”

Sen shot him a sideways glance. “Soooo… What exactly are we going to do then?”

Charlie’s mouth opened, but no words came out at first. His earlier confidence faltered, a faint flush creeping up his neck. He looked away. He wondered how soon Sen would want to do this. Did he want to do it immediately? 

“Just… relax and enjoy the night. We’ll, uh… figure it out.”

Sen grinned knowingly. “Figure it out, huh?”

Charlie cleared his throat, eyes fixed firmly on the dark expanse of ocean stretching out before them. The water was calm, only the soft slap of waves against the hull breaking the quiet. For a moment, neither of them spoke.

Sen stepped closer, his shoulder brushing against Charlie’s as they both stared out into the night. Then, without a word, Sen wrapped his arms loosely around Charlie’s waist from behind, resting his chin lightly on his shoulder.

“You know,” Sen murmured, his breath warm against Charlie’s ear, “I’m wearing something right now that you bought me.”

Charlie turned his head slightly, startled. “W-what?”

Sen’s lips curled into a devilish smile. “The plug.”

“Haha, you are? This whole time?” Charlie gulped. 

“Mmm,” Sen chuckled low under his breath as his arms tightened around Charlie’s waist. “Just thought you should know, Captain.”

His hands began to wander, palms brushing over the front of Charlie’s stomach. They grazed lower in a teasing path but never made their way into his pants. 

Charlie cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes flicked toward the cabin door, then back out at the ocean. “R-right… uh… let’s head downstairs. There’s… a bed.”

Sen whispered against his ear. “Then take me there.”

They gathered their bags with urgency, neither speaking as they descended the short staircase. The cabin was chilly until Charlie flicked on the heater and lit a lantern. Warmth began to creep through the space. The boat was swaying gently beneath their feet, each shift of the floor bringing them closer.

Charlie turned, and before he could second-guess himself, Sen grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. Charlie exhaled into the kiss, his hands finding Sen’s hips and pulling him in until their bodies pressed flush together.

Sen’s fingers slid up, touching Charlie’s hat before yanking it off and tossing it carelessly to the floor. Their mouths met again, hungrier this time. Their tongues brushed against each other.

They stumbled toward the bed, the edge catching the back of Charlie’s knees until he sat, and Sen climbed into his lap. Their mouths stayed locked, tongues moving against one another as their hands roamed. Charlie broke away just enough to drag his lips down Sen’s neck, drawing a low, pleased noise from him.

“Before we do this…” Sen gasped, his breath warm at Charlie’s ear. “Can you do something for me?”

“W-what?” Charlie’s voice betrayed a desperate edge; he already knew he would say yes.

“Let me touch you more. I want to see you without your shirt.”

Charlie hesitated, pulling back slightly. The willingness was there, but a wave of old insecurity crept in. He opened his mouth, almost ready to explain, but… the words didn’t come.

Sen watched him for a moment, searching his face. Slowly, he reached out, fingers working at the buttons of Charlie’s shirt one by one. His eyes flicked up often, waiting for any sign of protest. It never came. When the last button slipped free, Sen gently peeled the fabric from his shoulders.

Charlie’s breath slowed as the air hit his skin, exposing his fine, pale hair across his chest and the faint, deliberate scars curving beneath his pecs. 

Sen’s gaze softened. “You’re really something.”

Heat bloomed across Charlie’s cheeks, a tremor of vulnerability and relief threading through him.

Sen traced one of the scars with careful fingers. “This… It’s part of you. And I think it’s beautiful.”

“T-thanks.” Charlie’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

Sen’s smile deepened as his hands roamed further, fingertips tracing lightly across Charlie’s chest. When they brushed his nipples, a sharp breath hissed through Charlie’s teeth. Sen leaned in, placing a slow, deliberate kiss between them, then gave a gentle, teasing squeeze that sent a shiver down Charlie’s spine. Warm breath lingered against his skin.

“I-I’m glad I still have sensation t-there,” Charlie murmured, voice tight with nerves.

“Me too,” Sen purred, his lips curving against Charlie’s chest before he boldly let his mouth trail lower, tongue flicking gently over Charlie’s nipple.

Charlie’s back arched, a low gasp breaking free before he could catch it. One hand clutched at Sen’s shoulder, the other gripped the sheets tight, grounding himself against the sudden rush of sensation.

Sen lingered, lips brushing over the sensitive skin, tongue teasing slowly in deliberate circles. His fingers joined in, pinching lightly.

Charlie’s breath came quicker now, his chest rising to meet each touch. “F-fuck… Sen…”

Sen hummed against him, the vibration sending another pulse of heat through Charlie’s chest. “You like that?”

Charlie nodded, the movement shaky. “Y-yeah… it feels… good. Hotter than I—” His words broke off with a sharp inhale as Sen gave a firmer tug, his tongue flicking across the tender peak again, this time slower, savoring the reaction it drew.

Sen hummed against his skin. “Very sensitive, huh?” His tone shifted, more hungry like he’d mapped enough of Charlie’s reactions and was ready to push further.

“I’m letting y-you have your f-fun before—”

“Before what?” Sen finally pulled back. His lips were wet and red. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and winked. “Before you fuck me? Wait, hold on! Why are we just assuming I’m the ONE who’s gonna take it? When did we decide that?”

Charlie blinked, still a little dazed from the chest play. “B-but I remember we… you’re the one with the toy up your—”

Sen cut him off with an exaggerated scoff. “Is it because I’m short? Bullshit.”

Charlie let out a confused chuckle. They’d talked about this before. They had decided how it would go. Charlie was sure of it. And honestly? He wanted to top. He’d been looking forward to it.

So what was this?!

“I thought you wanted to try it.  We don’t have to—”

“No, no,” Sen interrupted, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Someone’s getting fucked tonight. Let’s wrestle. Winner gets to top.”

Seriously? Wasn’t this already settled? He wondered if this was some kind of roleplay or fetish. 

“You think that’s a fair f-fight?” he asked, playing along, glancing at the obvious size difference between them.

“How tall are you, anyway?”

“Uh? About one hundred seventy centimeters,” Charlie replied.

Sen snorted. “What the hell is a centimeter? This is America. We use real measurements.”

“Oh my god, everyone else in the world uses the metric system, Sen. I’m five-ten.”

“Okay. And how fat are you?”

“ Okay , I’m not going to answer—”

Before Charlie could finish, Sen lunged, shoving at his chest to push him down onto the bed. But Charlie barely moved. With one swift shift, he caught Sen by the arms and turned the motion against him, pinning him to the mattress in a single fluid movement.

Sen struggled, pushing against Charlie’s chest. His efforts were pointless; Charlie’s grip was immovable.

“Y-you really think you can take me down?” Charlie asked, a teasing smile tugging at his lips as the power dynamic shifted instantly.

“I’m not done!” Sen grunted, still wriggling.

Charlie held him tighter, leaning in until their faces were just inches apart. “You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”

Sen huffed. “How the hell is this happening? I’m the REAL MAN here!”

Charlie barked a laugh, deciding to play along with Sen’s offensive commentary. “Y-yeah? Real man? But you’re getting manhandled by a ‘girl.’ What does that make you? A princess?”

Sen flushed, his glare faltering into a scoff. “Screw you.”

Charlie’s smirk deepened. “Hmm… No. I’d rather screw you.”

Sen’s brows shot up. “What the fuck! You were just a little slut in my hands moments ago! What happened?” he growled. “This isn’t fair.”

Charlie adjusted his hold slightly, keeping Sen pinned with ease. “Should’ve stuck with what you were doing then. Or maybe you wanted to be manhandled, huh? Anyway… this means I ‘won,’ doesn’t it?”

Sen rolled his eyes, a laugh slipping out. “Yeah, yeah, you won. Whatever. But one day, I’ll get you.”

Charlie leaned in closer, voice dipping into a teasing whisper. “Sure you will, Senny.”

Their eyes locked, and the air between them shifted. Charlie brushed his lips against Sen’s. Sen’s pout faded, his lips parting slightly in response, and Charlie took it as an invitation.

The kiss deepened, carrying all the tension that had been building far too long. Charlie cupped Sen’s face with both hands. They broke apart for a moment. 

“I want this so badly,” Charlie said.

Sen’s eyes fluttered closed, body arching toward him, waiting.

Charlie’s hands moved with deliberate care, unbuttoning Sen’s shirt one by one. When the last button came free, he paused, taking in his lightly tanned, soft skin. 

His hands drifted lower, brushing the waistband of Sen’s pants. They were about to do it. They were about to go all the way.

He just had to get these off. And his own…

And then reality hit. His heart sank. Shit. He’d forgotten a step.

“Uh… sorry, gimme a second,” he muttered, pulling back slightly. There was no smooth way to pivot into this; he’d never mastered that part. He wasn’t about to wear it while driving here, and definitely not when getting on the boat. Sometimes he packed, but this was different.

Sen’s brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing wrong. Just… I need to grab my strap. I can’t exactly…Y’know, without it.”

Sen’s face softened immediately. “Oh! Yeah, of course. Got it. Go ahead. I need a moment to get myself ready anyway.”

Charlie nodded, forcing a smile as he slipped off the bed and grabbed his bag on the way to the tiny bathroom. He shut the door behind him, leaning against the sink for a moment.

From the bag, he pulled out the strap, the dildo, a small vibrator, and its remote. His hands hovered at his waistband as he stared down at the toys. He should’ve been used to this by now, but this thing in his grip never quite felt like an extension of himself.

He slid his pants down, fastened the strap over his boxers, then clipped the vibrator inside his boxers. A quick press of the remote sent a jolt of pleasure. Although it felt good, it wasn’t coming from where he wished it would. Sometimes, mid-thrust, it even shifted out of place, and he’d have to adjust. It wasn’t perfect. It never was.

But Sen was out there waiting for him. And that want for him was louder than the discomfort. He’d figure it out, push through it like always.

Before stepping out, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His eye patch was askew. With a sigh, he reached up and peeled it off, setting it carefully on the counter. Better to go without it than have it fall off halfway through.

Before leaving, he grabbed a couple of towels and slung them over his arm.

When he returned, the sight waiting for him sent his pulse spiking, and his mind briefly blanked.

Sen lay stretched across the bed, completely bare, his legs slightly parted with one arm draped behind his head and a teasing curl on his lips. His arousal was obvious; his cock rested against his stomach, already hard. On the bedside table, a bottle of lube sat uncapped. Clearly, Sen had taken the liberty of getting ready.

For a moment, Charlie just stood there, letting the sight sink in. 

Sen’s eyes flicked down to the strap, then back up. “Well? Don’t just stand there. Come here.”

“O-okay.” Charlie crossed the small room. The bed dipped as he climbed onto it, his knees brushing against Sen’s thigh.

He set the towels aside but kept his eyes fixed on the man beneath him. His hands slid slowly up Sen’s legs, pausing at his hips. Thumbs traced along his pelvis, then dipped lower, just beneath the curve of his ass. The muscles there tensed, pulling a faint sound from Sen.

“You’re so pretty,” Charlie murmured.

Sen’s hand lifted in response. His fingers brushed along Charlie’s cheek, tracing the scarred skin where his eyepatch usually rested. The tender touch lingered. Then his hand slipped lower, down Charlie’s torso to his crotch, fingers curling around the strap. His thumb pressed against the base.

“Feels real enough,” he said.

Charlie’s stomach tightened. The words landed bitterly. But he forced the thought aside.

“Y-yeah?” he said, forcing a smile. “Good.”

Charlie, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere else, held up the remote for his vibrator.

“Here,” he said. “You decide how much I feel.”

Sen’s brows arched. “What is it?”

“A remote for the vibe,” Charlie explained. “It’s… in my p-pants.”

Sen’s eyes flicked down, and before Charlie could react, his hand slipped between Charlie’s legs, searching.

“H-hey—” Charlie stammered, heat flooding his face as he caught Sen’s wrist, gently pushing his hand away.

But a sharp jolt tore through him, making his hips twitch involuntarily.

“S-shit. Hey!” he hissed, one hand bracing against Sen’s knees as the vibrations buzzed at full force. “T-that’s t-the highest setting!”

Sen said nothing. His thumbs danced over the buttons, pressing them one after the other.

“Are y-you seriously—” Charlie glanced down just in time to see Sen’s thumb press again, the buzz kicking up another notch.

Sen smirked, clearly enjoying the reaction.

 “Alright, that’s enough,” Charlie exhaled sharply, half-laughing. He plucked the remote from Sen’s hand, dialing it back down. “Behave.”

“NO!” Sen pouted.“I can behave. Give me another chance. Promise.”

Charlie narrowed his eye at him. “…You promise?”

Sen nodded eagerly. 

With a sigh, Charlie handed it back. “Fine. But d-don’t get carried away this time.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Sen said. “I was just having fun. My innocence is about to be taken away.”

“Innocent, my ass,” Charlie teased.

He shifted closer and guided Sen’s legs open. He noticed that the small black plug was still inside him. His finger brushed over it; it was slick with fresh lube. Sen must’ve been playing with himself while Charlie was in the bathroom.

Charlie eased the plug out slowly. Sen inhaled sharply as it slipped free. Charlie set it aside on the towels.

Leaning in until their faces were only inches apart, he uncapped the lube and squeezed it onto his fingers. One hand trailed down to tease Sen’s entrance while the other wrapped around his length, stroking in a steady rhythm. Sen squirmed, a low sound catching in his throat.

Charlie pressed a slick finger to his entrance, circling the rim before easing it in. The tight heat closed around him with little resistance. He seemed stretched and ready.

Then, with deliberate care, he slicked the silicone shaft of the strap. Sen shifted beneath him as he fingered him. He let out loud moans as Charlie’s thumb brushed the head of his cock.

“Are you ready?” Charlie asked, his gaze locked on Sen’s face as his fingers curled one last time inside him.

Sen hesitated, then nodded. “Y-yes.” 

Charlie withdrew his finger and guided the tip of the cock to his entrance, one hand braced on the mattress, the other steadying the base. He eased forward slowly, eyes trained on every flicker of Sen’s expression.

The moment the head slipped in, Sen’s body tensed. His hands pressed against Charlie’s stomach, halting him.

Charlie froze. “H-hey… hey. Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

Sen’s fingers flexed against his skin. “I—yeah, just… give me a second. Did you put it all in already?”

“Um… no?” Charlie said, forcing himself to stay still. “Not even close.”

Sen’s head fell back against the sheets, a strained laugh escaping him. “God… it feels bigger than I thought.”

Charlie bit back the instinct to tell him to relax. He hated it when people said that to him; it never helped. Instead, he reached out, wrapping his hand around Sen’s length, stroking gently.

“Tell me what you need. We can take this slow.”

“Just… keep going. I can take it.” Sen’s hips shifted with a restless push. The words sounded determined, but the way his thighs trembled beneath Charlie’s hands made it far from convincing. Still, Charlie eased in, just an inch more.

“Ow,” Sen said as a groan slipped out. Charlie froze again instantly. “It’s not…Ugh, it’s not going in right.”

Charlie frowned, pulling back slightly, forcing calm into his voice. “It’s okay. We shouldn’t force it. Want to try a different position? Sometimes it’s easier if…”

“No.” Sen cracked his eyes open, a sharp glare slipping through the strain. “I can do this. Don’t baby me.”

“I’m not!” Charlie said before softening his voice. “Sen, I just don’t w-want to hurt you. How about you get on top, so you can be in control?”

Sen looked away, frowning. Charlie leaned in, brushing a kiss over his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, then his lips. The tension in Sen’s jaw eased, just slightly.

“Fine.” Sen exhaled sharply through his nose.

Charlie slowly pulled out, the strap slick with lube. He waited for Sen to sit up before lying flat on his back. His eyes followed as Sen crawled over him, shifting until he was straddling Charlie’s hips.

Sen’s fingers curled around the base of the strap, guiding it toward his entrance.

“Take your time,” Charlie warned, his hands hovering near Sen’s hips. “Don’t go up and down. Grind, it’ll feel better for you. And it’s—”

“Shhh,” Sen hissed back.

He sank slowly, the tip slipping past his rim. His face briefly wince, as a strained sound escaped his throat.

“H-hey,” Charlie said gently, his thumbs tracing slow circles along Sen’s skin.

“I’m fine… Just, let me…” Sen shook his head. His voice was uneven as his body adjusted to the sensation. Charlie stayed quiet, but kept using his hands to make gentle motions along the other man’s skin. 

A few moments passed before the tension in Sen’s face began to ease. He sank a little further, then shifted his hips, testing the movement with a slow forward-and-back grind.

“Y-yeah… like that,” Charlie said softly, his palms massaging the tops of Sen’s thighs. “Move however you need. Rock forward… and then back. Find where it feels right.”

Sen rolled his hips again. The motion drew a gasp from him, his fingers tightening against Charlie’s stomach for balance.

“There,” Charlie breathed, watching every flicker of his expression. “Better, isn’t it?”

Sen didn’t answer at first, but the tight lines around his eyes eased as he moved again. Each subtle grind drew a low, involuntary sound of approval from his throat.

“Feels… weird, but… better,” he moaned.

“You’re doing good… just like that.” One hand slid up Sen’s side.

Sen’s eyes fluttered open. Charlie felt a surge of heat rush through him as he looked up. The way Sen’s bare thighs framed his hips, the sheen of sweat tracing his collarbone, it was arousing. His fingers twitched against Sen’s waist, itching to fuck him harder. But he forced himself to hold back, eyes fixed on every subtle shift as Sen’s body stretched to take more.

“Hnnh… okay… that’s better.” Sen’s hands pressed to Charlie’s chest. 

“You look…” Charlie’s lips curved faintly, “…amazing like this.”

Charlie pulled him down into a firm kiss. Their mouths opened, tongues tangling with wet, eager heat. His hand continued to stroke Sen’s cock.

Sen broke the kiss with a loud moan as he sank further, his hips starting to move with more urgency. Inch by inch, more of the strap filled him.

“F-fuck,” he hissed, voice breaking. “That’s… Yeah…Like that.”

Charlie’s grip tightened as his hips met Sen’s in a harder rhythm. Sen’s sounds filled the cabin, echoing against the walls. 

Damn, he can be loud, Charlie thought. But out here on the water, no one could hear, and Charlie didn’t care.

If anything, it made him want to fuck Sen harder.

He rocked, driving the strap deeper. Sen’s back arched, nails dragging sharp lines across his shoulders.

“S-shit! Shit! F-faster…Charlie, go faster!” Sen gasped, his voice breaking with each thrust. “Don’t stop. Ah! Ah! I’m gonna—”

Sen’s body tensed. His cock pulsed in Charlie’s hand as he came, spilling hot across Charlie’s stomach. His moans broke into gasps as tremors ran through him, his body twitching with the aftershocks while the strap shifted inside.

Then Sen sagged forward against Charlie’s chest. Charlie held him there, one hand steady on his back, the other resting at his side. He hadn’t come yet himself, but seeing Sen like this… was worth it.

After a while, Sen stirred and carefully eased the toy out of himself before rolling to the side, settling on the bed next to Charlie. His eyes were half-lidded now. Charlie leaned over and pressed a quick, soft peck to Sen’s lips. He smiled against it.

“Thank you, Charlie,” Sen sighed.

Charlie returned the smile before reaching for a towel he had set aside. Gently, he helped wipe Sen down, moving slowly to avoid disturbing him. Once finished, he lay back, letting his hand drift down into his own boxers, pressing the vibrator against himself.

“You need… help with that?” Sen’s voice came out hoarse. 

“No. I’m good,” Charlie replied. Sen didn’t press. He glanced over, Sen was watching him, but only briefly. His eyes were already slipping shut as the cabin quieted again, the faint wash of waves lapping at the shore outside.

Charlie didn’t mind. The truth was, he wasn’t in the mood to make his own pleasure a big deal. It was Sen’s first time doing something like this. He could handle it on his own. He was used to that anyway, and Sen already looked on the edge of sleep. Maybe another time.

Charlie finished quickly, imagining everything they’d just done. When he pulled his hand away and looked over at Sen again, his back was turned. A small flicker of disappointment stirred unexpectedly in his chest. Despite how intense and good it had been, there was a distance now… a reminder that this wasn’t serious. Just like last time, after Charlie had gone down on him. They weren’t dating, and Sen wasn’t in the mood to talk or cuddle. And Charlie wasn’t going to bring it up.

“This bed’s uncomfortable,” Sen mumbled, voice thick with sleep. “But… I like the rocking. It feels… nice.”

His words drifted into a whisper as sleep pulled him under. Charlie watched him for a moment, the faint rise and fall of his chest, the way his hair fell across the pillow. He couldn’t understand how some people were so effortlessly blessed in their looks.

Charlie let out a slow breath, staring at the low ceiling. He didn’t regret it. Not at all. The sex had been incredible. But… the feeling left behind was different.

He bit his lip and pushed the thought aside, turning onto his back, facing away from Sen. Everything had gone as planned. It felt good. That was what he should focus on.

Tomorrow, they’d probably do it all over again, maybe even try some new things. For now, he just hoped Sen slept well.

Chapter Text

Charlie heard the knock before he could finish tying his scarf. When he opened the door, Sen stood there in white navy pants and a white button-up, the sleeves rolled to his elbows. His collar hung just loose enough to show the line of his neck and a hint of collarbone. A duffel bag was slung over one shoulder, and sunglasses perched haphazardly in his hair.

“Hey!” Sen grinned as he stepped inside.

Charlie moved aside, exhaling in relief as he shut the door. For a moment, he worried Sen might not show up. They hadn’t talked much since their last meeting, just a few short texts. He reassured himself they were both busy; he had work and preparations, and Sen had school. But a nagging thought remained: maybe he hadn’t managed things well before.

Sen dropped his bag by the couch. His eyes trailed over Charlie slowly, clearly lingering longer than necessary. They stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, before Sen broke the tension with a laugh. “Damn, you look good.”

“Oh, thank you,” Charlie muttered, glancing down at himself. He wore a reddish-brown shirt with a mustard scarf knotted neatly around his neck, the trim of his pocket and cuffs matching. 

“Y-your outfit looks good t-too,” he added.

“Thanks. So, where are we going, handsome?”

“Oh, um…” Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you want me to tell y-you now or later?”

Sen tilted his head, stepping in just a little closer. “I like the idea of it being a surprise.”

As he said it, his fingers brushed along Charlie’s arm, enough to send a sharp little current up Charlie’s side. He turned away from him shyly. 

“Okay. You ready to go?” Charlie asked, speaking more quickly than he had planned. Before he could think twice, a bad joke escaped him. “Thankfully, where we’re going, your brother won’t, uh, interrupt us.”  

The words landed flat. Sen’s hand returned to his side. There was no chuckle or even a hint of a smile. 

 Charlie swallowed, wishing he could reel the words back in. “Uh, yeah… ahah.” He scratched the back of his neck.

“Wait,” Sen said, his smile faltering. “So… is what I’m wearing okay? Never mind, it is. You said I looked fine. How far away is it?”

“About an hour and a half,” Charlie replied cautiously, concerned that Sen didn’t comment further on his awkward joke.

“Damn, really? Does where we’re going have a place to eat?”

Charlie studied him. Sen had a decent poker face, but something was off; his voice carried less playfulness, and he barely met Charlie’s eyes. He’d struck a nerve.

“Uh… I was planning to t-take you somewhere to eat, and maybe stop at a gas station for snacks if we get hungry later.”

“Never mind.” Sen shook his head. “We shouldn’t eat before, right?”

“Sen, I don’t want y-you starving. We’re going to eat. It’s fine—”

“No,” Sen cut in, firmer this time. “I’d rather not.”

Charlie exhaled, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. Panic flickered in his chest as his mind ran on what he should do. Push or let it go? Would asking if Sen was mad make him angrier? It may be safer not to press.

“…F-fine.” Charlie agreed. “W-we’ll grab some instant ramen or something for you.”

Sen nodded, a flicker of relief softening his face. “Okay… ramen’s fine. Do we need anything else? Like thicker jackets? Or… water? A taser?”

“A… t-taser?” Charlie blinked, caught between confusion and a prickle of unease. “Are you trying to figure out w-where we’re going?”

“NO!” Sen scoffed, then gave an unnatural, mocking little chuckle. “Wait… you haven’t even shown me your fish tank yet. What kind of fishies are in there?”

Charlie squinted at him. The questions weren’t odd on their own, but the way Sen layered them, one after another, with that half-mocking tone, it almost felt deliberate. Like he was pushing buttons. Stalling. Maybe even messing with him just to see what he’d do.

His words from earlier were still hanging in the air. He decided bluntness was better than letting this drag on. 

“Are you okay? Did I upset y-you?”

“What? No! Shut up.” Sen rolled his eyes.

“But you are acting weird. I’m sorry for w-what I said, alright?”

“UGH, it’s fine. I don’t care,” Sen groaned, though he stood there pouting before adding,  “BUT it does remind me of something that’s on my mind. But I know it’s fucking gay to say it.”

“Y-yeah?” Charlie hesitated. “Please say it.” 

Sen’s jaw tightened. “Are you having second thoughts? Because… like I said, I want to do this. But not if you don’t. If you’re even a little unsure, I’d rather we didn’t.”

Charlie shut his eye for a moment, weighing his words. Yes, he wanted this. The more time he spent around Sen, the more he craved that closeness. But guilt still crept in sometimes. Even so, the pull toward Sen was stronger than the doubt. He just didn’t know how to say that without also sounding desperate.

“Never mind,” Sen muttered, waving a hand dismissively when Charlie didn’t immediately respond. “It was stupid to ask. Forget it.”

“No, wait! I’m trying to figure out how to say this.” Charlie sighed. “Tell me why y-you’re doubting me?”

Sen exhaled sharply through his nose. “Do you even have to ask? Firstly, because of what happened last time. You could’ve stayed over, but you didn’t. You left right after—” His mouth twisted. “Which is fine! But we haven’t been talking much since then. So I can’t help but worry that you’ll have another meltdown. I guess part of me wondered if… I don’t know. This whole thing’s been a mess from the start. But… ugh, forget it. I’m being hypocritical.”

“No, you’re not. I know I haven’t b-been handling this the best. Everything is f-fine. It’s just… You know how I am.”

“I do,” Sen said flatly. “Which is why I said never mind.” His tone had sharpened. He slung his bag over his shoulder. “I’m tired of talking. Let’s just go.”

“Wait.”

Before Sen could turn fully toward the door, Charlie stepped forward and caught his arm. In a swift motion, he pulled Sen into his chest, making the man fumble and clumsily drop his bag. Sen’s face scrunched in surprise.

“W-what the hell?!” 

“Look,” Charlie said. “I’m tired of being sad. I just… I just want to feel good. I want this. I want to do this with you.”

For a second, neither of them moved. Then Sen’s mouth twitched before he leaned in and kissed Charlie. Charlie exhaled, a small smile tugging at his lips as he slid his hands to Sen’s hips, before giving his butt a firm squeeze.

“I needed to hear that,” Sen said against his mouth. “Glad you’re keeping your promise, Chuck.”

They leaned in again, closer this time, until Sen pulled back with a faint smirk. “We should save this for later, big guy.”

Charlie grunted, releasing him as Sen stooped to pick up his bag and reached for the doorknob.

“Go ahead and head to my car. I’m going to grab my stuff,” Charlie said, stepping back toward his room.

Sen nodded and slipped out the door.

Charlie moved quickly, grabbing his backpack with a change of clothes, a couple of thick jackets, a small bag of toiletries, and his guitar. He paused in the kitchen, snatching up a few vegan mac & cheese cups and other snacks, knowing it was unlikely they’d have them at the gas station. Slinging everything over his shoulder, he locked up and headed down the stairs.

Outside, Sen was leaning against the side of the car with his arms crossed. His eyes flicked to the guitar case.

“Bringing your guitar, huh? Planning on serenading me under the stars?”

Charlie rolled his eye, unlocking the car. “Or just giving us something to do when we get bored.”

“Bored?” Sen chuckled, pushing himself off the car and sliding into the passenger seat.

Charlie tossed his things into the back and climbed in, starting the engine. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah. I’m really wondering where we are going if it’s almost two hours away.”

“That’s why I told y-you to pack. And tomorrow… it might be nice to explore the area around a bit.” He stumbled over his words, careful not to give too much away.

The drive settled into a mix of brief small talk and moments of quiet. Near the end of the route, Charlie pulled into a gas station. Sen disappeared down the aisles, returning with ramen, chips, a bag of sour candy, and a peach soda tossed into the basket. Charlie got some bottles of water and beer. 

Then they were back on the road. As they got closer, Charlie rolled down the windows, and the faint scent of salt drifted in. One hand on the wheel, the other near the gearshift, Charlie followed the curve of the highway as the ocean suddenly revealed itself.

Sen leaned out the window. “Whoa. Look! The water’s right there.”

“Nice, huh?”

Sen grinned. “Nice? It’s perfect. I like the beach. Mom didn’t bring us much growing up. Especially after… Well, anyway. If I lived here, I’d be out there every night. Just sitting, listening to the sounds.”

Charlie frowned slightly, then turned his eyes back to the road. 

“Are we doing it on the beach?” Sen guessed. 

Charlie smirked. “Would t-that be so bad? You just said you loved the beach.”

Sen slouched back in his seat. “Yeah, but like for only twenty minutes.”

“W-what?” Charlie’s stomach sank. He wasn’t even planning to stay on the beach, but now he was worried that Sen would think his idea was ridiculous. He kept his expression steady, eyes fixed ahead.

After a beat, Sen muttered, “I just don’t want sand in my butt.”

Charlie’s mouth twitched as he fought a laugh. Finally, he said, “Relax. W-we’re not doing it on the sand.”

“Thank God. Seriously, where are we going?”

“We’re almost there.” Charlie glanced at him briefly before focusing back on the road. “It’ll be a little cold, but I brought jackets. And we’ll be… somewhat inside.”

Sen tilted his head. “Somewhat inside?”

“You’ll see.”

The car rolled on for a few more minutes before Charlie finally slowed and pulled into the parking lot of a well-kept marina.

Sen’s eyes widened at the sight of rows of moored vessels rocking gently in the water. “Wait… you’re kidding.”

Charlie shut off the engine and turned toward him, smiling. “Surprise!” 

“We’re going on a boat?! You have a yacht!” Sen laughed, almost in disbelief. “YOU have a fucking yacht?”

Charlie rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not a yacht. It’s… a cabin cruiser. Still big and it’s got a bed and a bathroom, but it’s not a yacht.”

“Uh-huh.” Sen squinted at him. “What’s the difference?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Charlie muttered, already feeling there was no point explaining. “Come on. We’ve got to take the little boat out to it.”

“Oh my god, hell yes.”

Charlie eased a little at Sen’s enthusiasm. “H-have you been on a boat before?”

“Only a couple of times. Once Mom took us whale watching.”

“That’s cool. Did you know I—”

“It was boring as hell.”

“Oh oh… uh, I hope this is less boring.”

“Of course it will. Come on, let’s go,” Sen swung his car door open and stepped out, immediately shivering. “Fuck, it’s freezing.”

“Y-yeah… sorry. That’s why I didn’t tell you to bother bringing a bathing suit. Maybe in the future we can swim,” Charlie explained. “People don’t usually go out this time of year. The boat’s got a heater in the cabin at least.”

Charlie climbed out too, reached into the back seat, and pulled out two jackets. He tossed one to Sen, who slipped it on right away. It hung a little too big on him, almost swallowing his frame. Charlie couldn’t help the faint tug of a smile at finding it cute before shrugging into his own.

They walked down the dock to where a small motorboat waited, gently bumping against the waves. Charlie set their bags aside.

“You get in first so I can hand you our bags and untie it,” Charlie directed.

“Why do I feel like this is the scariest part?”

“Mm, a little. This boat’s shakier because it’s smaller. Just take your time.”

Sen stepped into the boat first, wobbling slightly as it rocked. Charlie steadied the rope and passed their bags down to him one by one before starting to untie the line.

“C-careful,” Charlie muttered. “You can swim, right?”

“Oh, fuck you.” Sen glanced down at the dark water, his nose wrinkling. “If we fall in, we’re going to freeze to death, aren’t we?”

“It’s not that cold.” Charlie stepped in after him, giving the dock a gentle push with his foot. 

Sen crossed his arms. “I’m just saying. This must be what it felt like on the Titanic.”

“No way. It was way colder t-there. You’ll be fine,” Charlie said, rummaging in a storage hatch. He pulled out a bright orange life jacket and held it up with a smirk. “Want some peace of mind?”

Sen stared at it. “That thing looks stupid and ugly.”

“Yeah, but it floats,” Charlie teased, giving it a little shake before putting it on himself. Then he pulled out another one. “Put it on, please. Not optional.”

Sen groaned, then snatched it out of his hands and tugged it on. “Fine. But I’m not wearing this when you fuck me. Ew.”

“Why not? Isn’t protection important during sex?” Charlie chuckled as he pulled on the motor. It buzzed to life easily. He was glad he’d come by two days before to check everything over.

They moved away from the dock, the boat sending ripples through the water.

When they pulled up beside the larger boat, Charlie slowed the motor and reached for the anchor line. He dropped it over the side with a splash, letting the small boat settle as it caught. Only then did he reach into his bag and plopped a white captain’s hat on his head.

“Permission to come aboard, sailor?” he asked in an overly formal tone.

Sen barked a laugh. “Gayyyy.”

“I know,” Charlie shot back. He reached for the ladder and hauled himself up onto the boat. Looking down at Sen, he waved before reaching to catch their bags as Sen handed them up one by one. Sen was surprisingly efficient. Once Charlie’s guitar was aboard, he offered a hand to pull himself up. Sen climbed the ladder slowly, testing each step.

“It’s smaller than I expected,” Sen said as his feet hit the deck, glancing around. He took off his life jacket and tossed it to Charlie. “But still so cool.” 

Sen shot Charlie a skeptical smirk. “So… you seriously know how to drive this thing?”

“Yes. Of course. I used to drive all the t-time.” Charlie said as a flicker of confidence cut through his usual shyness. Charlie took his own life jacket off and placed his and Sen’s in a chest on the boat. “I’m the captain, Sen. You’re going to be my hands.”

“Captain Charlie, okay…” Sen snorted. “God, you’re so cringe. Wait. What’s a hands?”

“A crew member.”

“So, if I’m your crewmate, does that mean I get to drive the boat too?”

Charlie immediately shook his head, getting flashbacks of his driving. “No.”

“What? Why?”

“Mmm. Maybe next t-time.”

“But why not?”

“You’re staying on deck, Sen. I’m the captain, remember?”

“UGH. FINE.”

“Besides, we’re not moving tonight anyway. It’s too dark.”

Sen shot him a sideways glance. “Soooo… What exactly are we going to do then?”

Charlie’s mouth opened, but no words came out at first. His earlier confidence faltered, a faint flush creeping up his neck. He looked away. He wondered how soon Sen would want to do this. Did he want to do it immediately? 

“Just… relax and enjoy the night. We’ll, uh… figure it out.”

Sen grinned knowingly. “Figure it out, huh?”

Charlie cleared his throat, eyes fixed firmly on the dark expanse of ocean stretching out before them. The water was calm, only the soft slap of waves against the hull breaking the quiet. For a moment, neither of them spoke.

Sen stepped closer, his shoulder brushing against Charlie’s as they both stared out into the night. Then, without a word, Sen wrapped his arms loosely around Charlie’s waist from behind, resting his chin lightly on his shoulder.

“You know,” Sen murmured, his breath warm against Charlie’s ear, “I’m wearing something right now that you bought me.”

Charlie turned his head slightly, startled. “W-what?”

Sen’s lips curled into a devilish smile. “The plug.”

“Haha, you are? This whole time?” Charlie gulped. 

“Mmm,” Sen chuckled low under his breath as his arms tightened around Charlie’s waist. “Just thought you should know, Captain.”

His hands began to wander, palms brushing over the front of Charlie’s stomach. They grazed lower in a teasing path but never made their way into his pants. 

Charlie cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck. His eyes flicked toward the cabin door, then back out at the ocean. “R-right… uh… let’s head downstairs. There’s… a bed.”

Sen whispered against his ear. “Then take me there.”

They gathered their bags with urgency, neither speaking as they descended the short staircase. The cabin was chilly until Charlie flicked on the heater and lit a lantern. Warmth began to creep through the space. The boat was swaying gently beneath their feet, each shift of the floor bringing them closer.

Charlie turned, and before he could second-guess himself, Sen grabbed him by the collar and kissed him. Charlie exhaled into the kiss, his hands finding Sen’s hips and pulling him in until their bodies pressed flush together.

Sen’s fingers slid up, touching Charlie’s hat before yanking it off and tossing it carelessly to the floor. Their mouths met again, hungrier this time. Their tongues brushed against each other.

They stumbled toward the bed shedding both of their jackets, the edge catching the back of Charlie’s knees until he sat, and Sen climbed into his lap. Their mouths stayed locked, tongues moving against one another as their hands roamed. Charlie broke away just enough to drag his lips down Sen’s neck, drawing a low, pleased noise from him.

“Before we do this…” Sen gasped, his breath warm at Charlie’s ear. “Can you do something for me?”

“W-what?” Charlie’s voice betrayed a desperate edge; he already knew he would say yes.

“Let me touch you more. I want to see you without your shirt.”

Charlie hesitated, pulling back slightly. The willingness was there, but a wave of old insecurity crept in. He opened his mouth, almost ready to explain, but… the words didn’t come.

Sen watched him for a moment, searching his face. Slowly, he reached out, fingers working at the buttons of Charlie’s shirt one by one. His eyes flicked up often, waiting for any sign of protest. It never came. When the last button slipped free, Sen gently peeled the fabric from his shoulders.

Charlie’s breath slowed as the air hit his skin, exposing his fine, pale hair across his chest and the faint, deliberate scars curving beneath his pecs. 

Sen’s gaze softened. “You’re really something.”

Heat bloomed across Charlie’s cheeks, a tremor of vulnerability and relief threading through him.

Sen traced one of the scars with careful fingers. “This… It’s part of you. And I think it’s beautiful.”

“T-thanks.” Charlie’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

Sen’s smile deepened as his hands roamed further, fingertips tracing lightly across Charlie’s chest. When they brushed his nipples, a sharp breath hissed through Charlie’s teeth. Sen leaned in, placing a slow, deliberate kiss between them, then gave a gentle, teasing squeeze that sent a shiver down Charlie’s spine. Warm breath lingered against his skin.

“I-I’m glad I still have sensation t-there,” Charlie murmured, voice tight with nerves.

“Me too,” Sen purred, his lips curving against Charlie’s chest before he boldly let his mouth trail lower, tongue flicking gently over Charlie’s nipple.

Charlie’s back arched, a low gasp breaking free before he could catch it. One hand clutched at Sen’s shoulder, the other gripped the sheets tight, grounding himself against the sudden rush of sensation.

Sen lingered, lips brushing over the sensitive skin, tongue teasing slowly in deliberate circles. His fingers joined in, pinching lightly.

Charlie’s breath came quicker now, his chest rising to meet each touch. “F-fuck… Sen…”

Sen hummed against him, the vibration sending another pulse of heat through Charlie’s chest. “You like that?”

Charlie nodded, the movement shaky. “Y-yeah… it feels… good. Hotter than I—” His words broke off with a sharp inhale as Sen gave a firmer tug, his tongue flicking across the tender peak again, this time slower, savoring the reaction it drew.

Sen hummed against his skin. “Very sensitive, huh?” His tone shifted, more hungry like he’d mapped enough of Charlie’s reactions and was ready to push further.

“I’m letting y-you have your f-fun before—”

“Before what?” Sen finally pulled back. His lips were wet and red. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and winked. “Before you fuck me? Wait, hold on! Why are we just assuming I’m the ONE who’s gonna take it? When did we decide that?”

Charlie blinked, still a little dazed from the chest play. “B-but I remember we… you’re the one with the toy up your—”

Sen cut him off with an exaggerated scoff. “Is it because I’m short? Bullshit.”

Charlie let out a confused chuckle. They’d talked about this before. They had decided how it would go. Charlie was sure of it. And honestly? He wanted to top. He’d been looking forward to it.

So what was this?!

“I thought you wanted to try it.  We don’t have to—”

“No, no,” Sen interrupted, eyes gleaming with mischief. “Someone’s getting fucked tonight. Let’s wrestle. Winner gets to top.”

Seriously? Wasn’t this already settled? He wondered if this was some kind of roleplay or fetish. 

“You think that’s a fair f-fight?” he asked, playing along, glancing at the obvious size difference between them.

“How tall are you, anyway?”

“Uh? About one hundred seventy centimeters,” Charlie replied.

Sen snorted. “What the hell is a centimeter? This is America. We use real measurements.”

“Oh my god, everyone else in the world uses the metric system, Sen. I’m five-ten.”

“Okay. And how fat are you?”

“ Okay , I’m not going to answer—”

Before Charlie could finish, Sen lunged, shoving at his chest to push him down onto the bed. But Charlie barely moved. With one swift shift, he caught Sen by the arms and turned the motion against him, pinning him to the mattress in a single fluid movement.

Sen struggled, pushing against Charlie’s chest. His efforts were pointless; Charlie’s grip was immovable.

“Y-you really think you can take me down?” Charlie asked, a teasing smile tugging at his lips as the power dynamic shifted instantly.

“I’m not done!” Sen grunted, still wriggling.

Charlie held him tighter, leaning in until their faces were just inches apart. “You’re gonna have to try harder than that.”

Sen huffed. “How the hell is this happening? I’m the REAL MAN here!”

Charlie barked a laugh, deciding to play along with Sen’s offensive commentary. “Y-yeah? Real man? But you’re getting manhandled by a ‘girl.’ What does that make you? A princess?”

Sen flushed, his glare faltering into a scoff. “Screw you.”

Charlie’s smirk deepened. “Hmm… No. I’d rather screw you.”

Sen’s brows shot up. “What the fuck! You were just a little slut in my hands moments ago! What happened?” he growled. “This isn’t fair.”

Charlie adjusted his hold slightly, keeping Sen pinned with ease. “Should’ve stuck with what you were doing then. Or maybe you wanted to be manhandled, huh? Anyway… this means I ‘won,’ doesn’t it?”

Sen rolled his eyes, a laugh slipping out. “Yeah, yeah, you won. Whatever. But one day, I’ll get you.”

Charlie leaned in closer, voice dipping into a teasing whisper. “Sure you will, Senny.”

Their eyes locked, and the air between them shifted. Charlie brushed his lips against Sen’s. Sen’s pout faded, his lips parting slightly in response, and Charlie took it as an invitation.

The kiss deepened, carrying all the tension that had been building far too long. Charlie cupped Sen’s face with both hands. They broke apart for a moment. 

“I want this so badly,” Charlie said.

Sen’s eyes fluttered closed, body arching toward him, waiting.

Charlie’s hands moved with deliberate care, unbuttoning Sen’s shirt one by one. When the last button came free, he paused, taking in his lightly tanned, soft skin. 

His hands drifted lower, brushing the waistband of Sen’s pants. They were about to do it. They were about to go all the way.

He just had to get these off. And his own…

And then reality hit. His heart sank. Shit. He’d forgotten a step.

“Uh… sorry, gimme a second,” he muttered, pulling back slightly. There was no smooth way to pivot into this; he’d never mastered that part. He wasn’t about to wear it while driving here, and definitely not when getting on the boat. Sometimes he packed, but this was different.

Sen’s brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing wrong. Just… I need to grab my strap. I can’t exactly…Y’know, without it.”

Sen’s face softened immediately. “Oh! Yeah, of course. Got it. Go ahead. I need a moment to get myself ready anyway.”

Charlie nodded, forcing a smile as he slipped off the bed and grabbed his bag on the way to the tiny bathroom. He shut the door behind him, leaning against the sink for a moment.

From the bag, he pulled out the strap, the dildo, a small vibrator, and its remote. His hands hovered at his waistband as he stared down at the toys. He should’ve been used to this by now, but this thing in his grip never quite felt like an extension of himself.

He slid his pants down, fastened the strap over his boxers, then clipped the vibrator inside his boxers. A quick press of the remote sent a jolt of pleasure. Although it felt good, it wasn’t coming from where he wished it would. Sometimes, mid-thrust, it even shifted out of place, and he’d have to adjust. It wasn’t perfect. It never was.

But Sen was out there waiting for him. And that want for him was louder than the discomfort. He’d figure it out, push through it like always.

Before stepping out, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His eye patch was askew. With a sigh, he reached up and peeled it off, setting it carefully on the counter. Better to go without it than have it fall off halfway through.

Before leaving, he grabbed a couple of towels and slung them over his arm.

When he returned, the sight waiting for him sent his pulse spiking, and his mind briefly blanked.

Sen lay stretched across the bed, completely bare, his legs slightly parted with one arm draped behind his head and a teasing curl on his lips. His arousal was obvious; his cock rested against his stomach, already hard. On the bedside table, a bottle of lube sat uncapped. Clearly, Sen had taken the liberty of getting ready.

For a moment, Charlie just stood there, letting the sight sink in. 

Sen’s eyes flicked down to the strap, then back up. “Well? Don’t just stand there. Come here.”

“O-okay.” Charlie crossed the small room. The bed dipped as he climbed onto it, his knees brushing against Sen’s thigh.

He set the towels aside but kept his eyes fixed on the man beneath him. His hands slid slowly up Sen’s legs, pausing at his hips. Thumbs traced along his pelvis, then dipped lower, just beneath the curve of his ass. The muscles there tensed, pulling a faint sound from Sen.

“You’re so pretty,” Charlie murmured.

Sen’s hand lifted in response. His fingers brushed along Charlie’s cheek, tracing the scarred skin where his eyepatch usually rested. The tender touch lingered. Then his hand slipped lower, down Charlie’s torso to his crotch, fingers curling around the strap. His thumb pressed against the base.

“Feels real enough,” he said.

Charlie’s stomach tightened. The words landed bitterly. But he forced the thought aside.

“Y-yeah?” he said, forcing a smile. “Good.”

Charlie, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere else, held up the remote for his vibrator.

“Here,” he said. “You decide how much I feel.”

Sen’s brows arched. “What is it?”

“A remote for the vibe,” Charlie explained. “It’s… in my p-pants.”

Sen’s eyes flicked down, and before Charlie could react, his hand slipped between Charlie’s legs, searching.

“H-hey—” Charlie stammered, heat flooding his face as he caught Sen’s wrist, gently pushing his hand away.

But a sharp jolt tore through him, making his hips twitch involuntarily.

“S-shit. Hey!” he hissed, one hand bracing against Sen’s knees as the vibrations buzzed at full force. “T-that’s t-the highest setting!”

Sen said nothing. His thumbs danced over the buttons, pressing them one after the other.

“Are y-you seriously—” Charlie glanced down just in time to see Sen’s thumb press again, the buzz kicking up another notch.

Sen smirked, clearly enjoying the reaction.

 “Alright, that’s enough,” Charlie exhaled sharply, half-laughing. He plucked the remote from Sen’s hand, dialing it back down. “Behave.”

“NO!” Sen pouted.“I can behave. Give me another chance. Promise.”

Charlie narrowed his eye at him. “…You promise?”

Sen nodded eagerly. 

With a sigh, Charlie handed it back. “Fine. But d-don’t get carried away this time.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Sen said. “I was just having fun. My innocence is about to be taken away.”

“Innocent, my ass,” Charlie teased.

He shifted closer and guided Sen’s legs open. He noticed that the small black plug was still inside him. His finger brushed over it; it was slick with fresh lube. Sen must’ve been playing with himself while Charlie was in the bathroom.

Charlie eased the plug out slowly. Sen inhaled sharply as it slipped free. Charlie set it aside on the towels.

Leaning in until their faces were only inches apart, he uncapped the lube and squeezed it onto his fingers. One hand trailed down to tease Sen’s entrance while the other wrapped around his length, stroking in a steady rhythm. Sen squirmed, a low sound catching in his throat.

Charlie pressed a slick finger to his entrance, circling the rim before easing it in. The tight heat closed around him with little resistance. He seemed stretched and ready.

Then, with deliberate care, he slicked the silicone shaft of the strap. Sen shifted beneath him as he fingered him. He let out loud moans as Charlie’s thumb brushed the head of his cock.

“Are you ready?” Charlie asked, his gaze locked on Sen’s face as his fingers curled one last time inside him.

Sen hesitated, then nodded. “Y-yes.” 

Charlie withdrew his finger and guided the tip of the cock to his entrance, one hand braced on the mattress, the other steadying the base. He eased forward slowly, eyes trained on every flicker of Sen’s expression.

The moment the head slipped in, Sen’s body tensed. His hands pressed against Charlie’s stomach, halting him.

Charlie froze. “H-hey… hey. Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”

Sen’s fingers flexed against his skin. “I—yeah, just… give me a second. Did you put it all in already?”

“Um… no?” Charlie said, forcing himself to stay still. “Not even close.”

Sen’s head fell back against the sheets, a strained laugh escaping him. “God… it feels bigger than I thought.”

Charlie bit back the instinct to tell him to relax. He hated it when people said that to him; it never helped. Instead, he reached out, wrapping his hand around Sen’s length, stroking gently.

“Tell me what you need. We can take this slow.”

“Just… keep going. I can take it.” Sen’s hips shifted with a restless push. The words sounded determined, but the way his thighs trembled beneath Charlie’s hands made it far from convincing. Still, Charlie eased in, just an inch more.

“Ow,” Sen said as a groan slipped out. Charlie froze again instantly. “It’s not…Ugh, it’s not going in right.”

Charlie frowned, pulling back slightly, forcing calm into his voice. “It’s okay. We shouldn’t force it. Want to try a different position? Sometimes it’s easier if…”

“No.” Sen cracked his eyes open, a sharp glare slipping through the strain. “I can do this. Don’t baby me.”

“I’m not!” Charlie said before softening his voice. “Sen, I just don’t w-want to hurt you. How about you get on top, so you can be in control?”

Sen looked away, frowning. Charlie leaned in, brushing a kiss over his cheek, then the corner of his mouth, then his lips. The tension in Sen’s jaw eased, just slightly.

“Fine.” Sen exhaled sharply through his nose.

Charlie slowly pulled out, the strap slick with lube. He waited for Sen to sit up before lying flat on his back. His eyes followed as Sen crawled over him, shifting until he was straddling Charlie’s hips.

Sen’s fingers curled around the base of the strap, guiding it toward his entrance.

“Take your time,” Charlie warned, his hands hovering near Sen’s hips. “Don’t go up and down. Grind, it’ll feel better for you. And it’s—”

“Shhh,” Sen hissed back.

He sank slowly, the tip slipping past his rim. His face briefly wince, as a strained sound escaped his throat.

“H-hey,” Charlie said gently, his thumbs tracing slow circles along Sen’s skin.

“I’m fine… Just, let me…” Sen shook his head. His voice was uneven as his body adjusted to the sensation. Charlie stayed quiet, but kept using his hands to make gentle motions along the other man’s skin. 

A few moments passed before the tension in Sen’s face began to ease. He sank a little further, then shifted his hips, testing the movement with a slow forward-and-back grind.

“Y-yeah… like that,” Charlie said softly, his palms massaging the tops of Sen’s thighs. “Move however you need. Rock forward… and then back. Find where it feels right.”

Sen rolled his hips again. The motion drew a gasp from him, his fingers tightening against Charlie’s stomach for balance.

“There,” Charlie breathed, watching every flicker of his expression. “Better, isn’t it?”

Sen didn’t answer at first, but the tight lines around his eyes eased as he moved again. Each subtle grind drew a low, involuntary sound of approval from his throat.

“Feels… weird, but… better,” he moaned.

“You’re doing good… just like that.” One hand slid up Sen’s side.

Sen’s eyes fluttered open. Charlie felt a surge of heat rush through him as he looked up. The way Sen’s bare thighs framed his hips, the sheen of sweat tracing his collarbone, it was arousing. His fingers twitched against Sen’s waist, itching to fuck him harder. But he forced himself to hold back, eyes fixed on every subtle shift as Sen’s body stretched to take more.

“Hnnh… okay… that’s better.” Sen’s hands pressed to Charlie’s chest. 

“You look…” Charlie’s lips curved faintly, “…amazing like this.”

Charlie pulled him down into a firm kiss. Their mouths opened, tongues tangling with wet, eager heat. His hand continued to stroke Sen’s cock.

Sen broke the kiss with a loud moan as he sank further, his hips starting to move with more urgency. Inch by inch, more of the strap filled him.

“F-fuck,” he hissed, voice breaking. “That’s… Yeah…Like that.”

Charlie’s grip tightened as his hips met Sen’s in a harder rhythm. Sen’s sounds filled the cabin, echoing against the walls. 

Damn, he can be loud, Charlie thought. But out here on the water, no one could hear, and Charlie didn’t care.

If anything, it made him want to fuck Sen harder.

He rocked, driving the strap deeper. Sen’s back arched, nails dragging sharp lines across his shoulders.

“S-shit! Shit! F-faster…Charlie, go faster!” Sen gasped, his voice breaking with each thrust. “Don’t stop. Ah! Ah! I’m gonna—”

Sen’s body tensed. His cock pulsed in Charlie’s hand as he came, spilling hot across Charlie’s stomach. His moans broke into gasps as tremors ran through him, his body twitching with the aftershocks while the strap shifted inside.

Then Sen sagged forward against Charlie’s chest. Charlie held him there, one hand steady on his back, the other resting at his side. He hadn’t come yet himself, but seeing Sen like this… was worth it.

After a while, Sen stirred and carefully eased the toy out of himself before rolling to the side, settling on the bed next to Charlie. His eyes were half-lidded now. Charlie leaned over and pressed a quick, soft peck to Sen’s lips. He smiled against it.

“Thank you, Charlie,” Sen sighed.

Charlie returned the smile before reaching for a towel he had set aside. Gently, he helped wipe Sen down, moving slowly to avoid disturbing him. Once finished, he lay back, letting his hand drift down into his own boxers, pressing the vibrator against himself.

“You need… help with that?” Sen’s voice came out hoarse. 

“No. I’m good,” Charlie replied. Sen didn’t press. He glanced over, Sen was watching him, but only briefly. His eyes were already slipping shut as the cabin quieted again, the faint wash of waves lapping at the shore outside.

Charlie didn’t mind. The truth was, he wasn’t in the mood to make his own pleasure a big deal. It was Sen’s first time doing something like this. He could handle it on his own. He was used to that anyway, and Sen already looked on the edge of sleep. Maybe another time.

Charlie finished quickly, imagining everything they’d just done. When he pulled his hand away and looked over at Sen again, his back was turned. A small flicker of disappointment stirred unexpectedly in his chest. Despite how intense and good it had been, there was a distance now… a reminder that this wasn’t serious. Just like last time, after Charlie had gone down on him. They weren’t dating, and Sen wasn’t in the mood to talk or cuddle. And Charlie wasn’t going to bring it up.

“This bed’s uncomfortable,” Sen mumbled, voice thick with sleep. “But… I like the rocking. It feels… nice.”

His words drifted into a whisper as sleep pulled him under. Charlie watched him for a moment, the faint rise and fall of his chest, the way his hair fell across the pillow. He couldn’t understand how some people were so effortlessly blessed in their looks.

Charlie let out a slow breath, staring at the low ceiling. He didn’t regret it. Not at all. The sex had been incredible. But… the feeling left behind was different.

He bit his lip and pushed the thought aside, turning onto his back, facing away from Sen. Everything had gone as planned. It felt good. That was what he should focus on.

Tomorrow, they’d probably do it all over again, maybe even try some new things. For now, he just hoped Sen slept well.

Chapter Text

Charlie rubbed his face as he woke. For a moment, he couldn’t place where he was, until he felt the gentle rocking beneath him and the familiar hardness of the boat’s bed.

He turned toward the figure beside him. Sen was still asleep, sprawled in the same position he’d collapsed into the night before. The blanket had slipped to his waist, leaving his shoulders bare to the morning chill.

Charlie lingered, watching him. There was something disarmingly peaceful about Sen like this, worlds away from his usual fiery spirit. He reached down and tugged the blanket back up, tucking it lightly against Sen’s side.

We didn’t eat last night. He’s going to be starving when he wakes up, Charlie chuckled to himself. The thought lingered as he watched the slow rise and fall of Sen’s chest. 

He’d worry about that later. 

Moving carefully so as not to wake him, Charlie slipped from the bed and dressed in silence. On his way toward the stairs, his foot caught against something. He froze, glancing down at his strap.

He’d tossed it carelessly to the floor before crashing out last night. With a sigh, Charlie bent to pick it up, carrying it into the bathroom. He cleaned it quickly with a spray, his movements methodical, before tucking it deep into his bag. A part of him doubted Sen would want to go again so soon after what they’d done.

Before heading upstairs, he grabbed his guitar from where it leaned against the wall.

The cabin floor was freezing beneath his bare feet as he climbed the narrow steps to the deck. Outside, the morning air was crisp, laced with the briny tang of the sea.

Charlie settled onto the bench seat, the guitar resting across his lap. His fingers brushed the strings, coaxing out a few soft notes. As much as he hated how his papa had forced music on him, playing still had a way of calming him. 

The melody drifted into the morning as Charlie let his fingers wander. His thoughts spun in circles, tangled between everything that had happened and everything that might come next.

He knew, deep down, it was all going to catch up to him. His sister and Beta would judge him when they found out. Alpha would find out. And Sen…Sen would find out. Charlie didn’t know which consequence scared him more.

But strangely, he wasn’t worried. For the moment, all he wanted was to play his guitar and wait for Sen to wake.

Just as if on cue, the cabin hatch creaked, snapping him back to the present.

Sen emerged with a groan. He looked like he’d stolen one of Charlie’s crewneck sweaters and sweatpants again, the blanket draped over his shoulders like a makeshift cloak. He squinted against the pale morning light, muttering something Charlie couldn’t quite catch.

“Jesus. It’s cold,” Sen grumbled clearly, his voice still rough with sleep.

Charlie didn’t answer. He set the guitar aside long enough to shrug off his jacket and hold it out.

Sen eyed it, then snatched it with a little huff, pulling it on before dragging the blanket tighter around himself. Charlie settled the guitar back across his lap.

Sen dropped onto the bench beside him, cocooned in layers.

“Good morning, sunshine,” Charlie greeted. 

“Mmmm. Play something good at least.”

“Any suggestions?” Charlie plucked a chord, the corner of his mouth twitching. He knew better than to take Sen’s morning moods seriously.

“Do I look like Spotify?” Sen huffed. “I don’t know what you freaking know how to play. Surprise me.”

“You’d be surprised how much I know.” Charlie sighed, a little sad. He was forced to learn a lot of songs. He thought for a moment, then shifted his hand along the frets. His fingers slid into the opening chords of an instantly recognizable song.

“Oh my god, of course.” Sen shook his head. 

Charlie didn’t answer; he just kept playing.

Sen closed his eyes. He leaned back against the bench and started humming along, following the melody. The sound surprised Charlie; even his humming sounded pretty. He wondered if Sen was about to actually sing.

Charlie’s ears burned. He faltered, hands stuttering on the strings until the tune cut off.

“What?” Sen cracked an eye open. “Why’d you stop?”

“I d-don’t. Uh. It’s weird when someone listens like that.” Charlie looked away. 

“Oh yeah! Mr. Stage Fright~,” Sen grinned, reaching to twirl Charlie’s hair. “You’re shy.”

“Shut up,” Charlie frowned, lips twitching. 

“You know what we should do?” Sen whispered. “We should go to that bar in town, the one that does those music competitions. They barely have duets. You and me, we’d kill it.”

Charlie’s head whipped around, eyes wide. “W–what?! No!”

“OH my god. You’re too easy!” Sen burst out laughing, holding up a hand. “Relax, I’m fucking with you! Beta and I are probably going to do it.”

Charlie’s grip tightened slightly on the guitar. He should’ve been relieved. Instead, a shiver of disappointment washed through him.

“He unfortunately wants to do it,” Sen continued, looking a little bothered. “But hey, maybe someday I’ll drag you along. You’re definitely a better guitar player than him. Also, Beta can’t sing for shit.”

“Y-you haven’t heard me s-sing.” Charlie’s mouth felt dry.

“And have you heard Beta? He sounds like a raccoon with pharyngitis,” Sen rolled his eyes. “I don’t know why I won the genetic lottery.”

“He…” Charlie started. 

“I’m hungry,” Sen whined suddenly.

Charlie wasn’t even surprised anymore at how quickly Sen could pivot the conversation. He’d half-expected another round of Beta-bashing, but of course, hungry Sen had to show up eventually. In a way, Charlie was relieved; it felt strange hearing Sen tear into Beta when the guy hadn’t even done anything wrong.

“I told you I was going to take you out for a bite before we got on here,” Charlie said, setting his guitar aside. “And you passed out before I could even heat the ramen for you.”

“Ew, right. We only have that noodle crap for breakfast?”

“Again, I c-could’ve made it for you last night,” Charlie corrected.

Sen grimaced. “Yeah, well… sorry for that. Kind of hard to stay conscious when I’ve never…” He broke off, glancing away. “...Never come that hard in my life.”

Charlie stared as a flicker of pride washed over him.  

“Don’t look at me like that, bitch!” Sen snorted, breaking the moment. “Next time I’ll be more prepared.”

“Next time, huh?” Charlie teased, but inside, he was practically glowing. Sen wanted a next time. 

“Shut up.” Sen elbowed him. “Get me food.”

Charlie only raised an eyebrow, still smiling.

“What?!” Sen huffed. “Do it. Don’t piss me off.”

“A please would be nice, Senny.”

“Ugh, fine. Please get me some food. Also…Did you bring any fucking coffee?”

“Is tea okay?” Charlie said. 

“Ugh. It’s fine. Just get it soon.” Sen rolled his eyes, but the bite in his voice was gone.

“Okay, your majesty. It’s downstairs. You should get out of the cold anyway.”

Charlie stood, and Sen shuffled after him, blanket dragging behind. Below deck, Sen collapsed face-first onto the bed with a groan while Charlie set to work. He pulled out a few food packets and a small portable stove, setting a pan on top.

He emptied a water bottle into the pan, flicked the heat on. As he cooked, he cracked open a can of beer, taking a slow sip as the water began to warm.

“I feel sore,” Sen mumbled into the pillow, voice muffled.

“Sorry about that.” Charlie frowned, turning his head to watch him for a moment.

“No, no! Don’t be sorry. I loved it.” Sen rolled onto his side.

“Good.” Relief softened Charlie’s chest. He reached into his bag, shook two tablets into his hand, and passed them over. “Want some pills?”

“Yeah.” Sen lifted his head and held out his palm. Charlie placed the tablets there, popped one for himself, and washed it down with his beer. His head was starting to ache. Charlie offered his beer, but Sen grimaced and motioned for water instead. Charlie passed him a bottle.

“I’m happy to find out that… I like it,” Sen said after swallowing.

“I was worried for you when we started,” Charlie admitted.

“Well, I’ve never had anything up my ass before,” Sen snorted.

“I know. I’m sorry. How was it… trying the buttplug for the first time?”

“It was fine. It didn’t really hurt or feel good. It just felt like something was… there.”

“Yeah, they’re mostly for stretching y-you out.”

“Yeah, I know.” Sen shrugged. “Anyway, I’m happy to know I like guys. I’m bi!”

“T-that’s great, Sen,” Charlie said, his voice a little shaky. “Really… I’m proud of you. I know it’s not always easy to say out loud. Do you think you’re going to come out to anyone about that? That you like guys too?”

“What, like my family?”

Charlie hesitated, unsure how to respond. He couldn’t help but think of how Alpha had never been willing to come out for him, and he realized Sen might be in a similar position. If he let himself get too close, the same cycle could repeat, inevitable heartbreak. But he needed to stop dwelling on the impossible. And on the worst decision he could ever make.

“Maybe not now,” Charlie said carefully.

“Yeah, probably not. My mom would just assume I’m gay, and it’s not like I ever plan to date or marry a guy. It’s just for fun… I’d rather have a girlfriend.”

Stupid, stupid, Charlie thought.

“That makes sense,” he murmured, pouring the boiling water into the noodle cup and into two mugs. He put a tea bag into each of them. 

“I’ll probably tell Beta. And uh… the other one,” Sen scoffed. “I don’t mind my friends knowing, but I’m not going to make a big deal out of it. I hate the thought of people just labeling me gay now. At least more than they did..,”

“Yeah. Totally.” Charlie nodded, eyes fixed on his hands.

Just for fun. Rather have a girlfriend. He forced the sting down, tucking it deep where Sen couldn’t see. Stupid. Impossible. Bad decision.

“I can’t wait… to experiment more,” Sen went on, his voice eager.

“E-experiment?” Charlie forced the word out.

“Yeah, with other guys,” Sen said. “I want to go out and see what guys I can pick up.”

Charlie managed a small, strained smile, but inside he didn’t know if he should feel jealous, scared, or just… sad.

“Oh… I bet y-you can attract a lot of them,” he said, trying to keep his tone. He wondered how Sen couldn’t see how he was freaking out. Maybe Sen just didn’t pay that much attention, but Charlie found himself oddly grateful for it. People noticing made it worse, especially in this case.

“Right!”

“Just be careful. A lot of guys are dicks,” Charlie added, hoping to redirect the conversation.

“Do you want to go to a queer club together?” Sen asked suddenly, a little giggle slipping out. “Pick up guys together?”

Charlie’s stomach sank at the thought of standing there, watching Sen flirt with someone else. God, no. But the thought felt petty almost immediately. Stupid. Don’t be ridiculous.

His fingers slipped, knocking a spoon off the counter. It clattered to the floor, and he swore under his breath as he crouched to grab it.

Sen snorted. “Smooth. What’s wrong with you? You look a little pale.”

“I-I’m okay,” Charlie muttered, heat creeping into his cheeks. “It just slipped.”

“Uh-huh,” Sen said. “Or we could find someone for a threesome. Hmm?”

“You and your threesomes,” Charlie groaned, rubbing his forehead. “No. Absolutely not. Like I said before.”

“It’s a joke,” Sen snorted.

Charlie exhaled, forcing himself to steer the conversation toward something playful. Even if they didn’t act on it, talking about sex made him feel… comfortable. Familiar. Something he knew they both agreed on.

“I don’t know about y-you going out and chasing guys just yet,” Charlie said, turning to face Sen.

Sen tilted his head, curiosity lighting his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you still need a little more… personal experience with me.”

Sen raised an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“Deep throating.”

Sen threw a pillow at him.

Charlie caught it, laughing. “A lot of guys are going to want that from y-you. They’ll expect you to give it.”

“What, because I’m the feminine twink? Jesus Christ, that feels so sexist… homophobic… whatever. I like to be on top too.”

“That’s funny, coming from you,” Charlie shook his head.

“Whatever. It’s funny you say that because you’ve been the one on your knees the most.”

“Because I like it. Anyway… I think it’s almost done,” Charlie said, turning his attention back to the stove. “You’ll need the energy.”

“Planning to wear me out again?”

 “Something like that.” Charlie didn’t look back. “Do you want me to start up the boat?”

“Oh, yay. Can I help?”

“Yeah, you can sit there, eat, and stay out of my way,” Charlie said dryly. He squeezed his eye shut, realizing the sharp remark. Lately, he felt like certain people were rubbing off on him, making him meaner than he wanted to be. 

“Asshole,” Sen muttered, though his tone sounded unbothered.

“Haha… sorry.” Charlie felt a twinge of guilt as he handed over the steaming noodles, a spoon, and a mug of tea. “…I’ll let you drive a little. Let me just g-get it started up first.”

“For real!?” Sen’s eyes lit up.

“Uh! With my help, but y-yeah…” Charlie said reluctantly, already regretting the words as they left his mouth. He reached down to put on his captain’s hat and grabbed his own cup, heading up the stairs, careful not to spill. He left his beer downstairs. 

Sen came up a moment later, bowl and cup balanced in his hands, the blanket still draped over his shoulders. He perched on the bench, tucking his legs up to keep the morning chill off.

Charlie took a sip from his cup, then went over to the anchor. He gripped the windlass, turning it carefully until the anchor lifted smoothly from the water and locked into place. Satisfied, he moved to the helm, hands settling on the wheel.

“I wish you could turn off the wind, Charlie,” Sen said, watching him before slurping a mouthful of noodles.

“Well, I can’t,” Charlie replied, running his hand along the wheel with a faint smile.

“And I wish you had given me chopsticks because this is hard to eat with this stupid spoon,” Sen complained further. 

“I’ll note that, Charlie nodded, barely listening. 

He turned the ignition key. The engine coughed once, then rumbled to life, a steady vibration running through the deck and rattling the loose items around them.

“Whoa!” Sen stood with his food, eyes wide as he turned his head this way and that, drinking in the horizon. “Thank you so much for taking me out here. This is seriously… really nice.”

“You’re welcome.” Charlie eased the throttle forward, feeling the bow lift as the boat pushed into the waves. The sea carried salt and the faint cries of distant gulls. Charlie adjusted the wheel with deliberate care, keeping the speed low so Sen’s breakfast wouldn’t spill.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught himself watching. Sen, usually so graceful, was frowning in concentration as he tried to keep his noodles steady against the rocking boat. Between that clumsy struggle, the wind tugging through his hair, and the way his lips parted whenever something on the horizon caught his attention, Charlie couldn’t help it. Sen looked so damn cute like this.

Then Sen turned, smirking when he caught him staring.

“Oh my god, keep your eyes on the water!” Sen laughed.

“I am!” Charlie snapped his gaze forward, heat crawling up his neck.

Sen let it slide, changing tack instead. “You’re not eating?”

“Not h-hungry,” Charlie said.

“I hope you’re actually taking care of yourself,” Sen muttered. 

“I am. I’m drinking tea,” Charlie replied, raising his cup. “Besides, I had a beer earlier.”

Sen just gave him a look, but he didn’t argue back. Charlie hoped that he was convincing. 

They continued to drive until the shoreline was nothing more than a faint line, the world around them dissolving into endless blue and silver.

Sen tipped the last of the broth into his mouth, then set the cup \into a small bin tucked under the bench.

“Mm, eating that was better than I expected for how early it was. Maybe I was just starving.… But the views make up for it. This is the highlight of my year,” he murmured, resting his chin on his hand as he slouched back, eyes half-lidded with contentment. “Almost makes me want to forgive you for not feeding me last night.”

Charlie’s lips twitched. “You passed out.”

“Excuses, excuses.” Sen went quiet after that, though Charlie could feel his gaze lingering. When he finally glanced over, Sen had risen to his feet. The blanket slid off his shoulder as he gave Charlie a sly look.

“Can I drive now?” Sen asked.

“Uh… you still want to do that?”

“Yes.” Sen grinned as he stepped closer. He reached up, plucked Charlie’s hat right off his head, and set it on his own with a wink. “Come on, just for a bit.”

With a reluctant sigh, Charlie eased back the throttle, loosened his grip on the wheel, and stepped aside. “Fine. But I’m not letting you c-crash us.”

Sen slid into place in front of him, hands curling over the wheel. His touch was tentative at first, testing the weight, then firmer as he adjusted to the steady pull of the water.

Charlie hovered just behind, pulse thudding harder, Sen’s nearness buzzed through him like static, but so did the fear of them veering off course. He clenched his jaw, forcing himself not to immediately reach out, not to smother Sen with corrections. Not unless Sen asked. 

“So… what do I do?” Sen asked, glancing back at him.

Charlie swallowed, unsure if he should give in to the urge clawing at him. But his body moved faster than his mind. He stepped in behind Sen, pressing close, chest to his back. His arms slid around, large hands closing over Sen’s smaller ones, their fingers brushing, locking together on the wheel.

“Easy,” Charlie murmured, voice rough as he steadied the wheel for him.

They stayed like that for a while. Charlie kept their hands steady, guiding Sen through the motions: shift a little left, hold steady, ease it back. His chest rose and fell against Sen’s back. Every inhale filled his nostrils with the faint mix of sea salt and his shampoo.

“You’re doing a good job,” Charlie said quietly, letting his breath brush against Sen’s ear.

“Feels a little boring, though. Where’s the action?”

Charlie chuckled. “The action is not crashing into something.”

Sen huffed, clearly unimpressed, before they lapsed into silence again.

It was comfortable…Too comfortable. Charlie almost let himself forget how close they were pressed together, almost let himself believe this was normal.

Then Sen shifted suddenly, hips rolling back just enough to grind his ass deliberately against Charlie’s groin.

“Mm… I like this,” Sen murmured with a smirk in his voice. “Can we go faster?”

Charlie’s hands tightened instinctively over Sen’s.

“F-focus on the water,” he ordered, though it came out more plea than command.

“I am,” Sen murmured, pressing back harder into him. “You know… we’re pretty far off land. Doesn’t look like anyone’s around.”

“That sounds like a threat,” Charlie muttered. Thank god the boat was barely moving.

“It does, huh?” Sen turned toward him.“But no. What I mean is that we could do something out here.”

Charlie’s throat worked. “…Like what?”

“I’m trying to fuck you again.”

“Oh.” Charlie gave a strained laugh, heat crawling up his neck. “Wouldn’t you be cold being naked?”

“Aww, you’re worried about me. Listen Chuck. Not everything I want to do requires taking my clothes off.”

Before Charlie could respond, Sen closed the distance, sliding his arms across his torso. His forehead pressed against Charlie’s chest, fingers teasing along the lines of his pecs.

“…Right,” Charlie rasped.

“Charlie.”

“Y–yeah?”

“I want you to teach me.”

Charlie blinked. “What?”

“Remember our conversation?” Sen leaned in, stealing a quick kiss along Charlie’s jaw before whispering, “I want to suck your cock.”

“Uh… r-right now? Seriously? Aren’t you worried someone might-”

“What? We’re in the middle of the ocean.”

“Well, not really, we-”

“Charlie. Shut up. No one’s going to see.” Sen’s grin widened, his voice dropping as his hands kneaded at Charlie’s chest.

Charlie’s chest tightened. “…Let me drop m-my anchor f-first.”

“Your anchor?” Sen smirked 

“I mean…t-the anchor!” Charlie blushed, reaching over to kill the engine but keeping his hands on Sen. 

“And put it on your cock?” Sen teased.

Charlie exhaled sharply, giving him a helpless look. “Y-yeah.”

Sen rose onto his toes, pressing a quick kiss to Charlie’s nose before murmuring with mischief, “I need practice for all the men I’m going to… You know. I’ve got to beat your body count somehow.”

The words were teasing, but Charlie couldn’t quite find humor in them. Still, he pushed it aside, because, at least for now, Sen was his.

He nudged him back gently to walk over and secure the anchor. Over his shoulder, he caught Sen slouched on the bench, elbows braced on his knees, watching him with an unreadable expression. He let out a nervous chuckle as he ducked below deck.

“This is really happening,” he muttered to himself, as adrenaline sparked through every nerve. 

His hands fumbled through his bag until he found what he needed. First, the strap, he tugged his pants down and slid it into place, fingers trembling as he adjusted the harness snug against his hips. Then, he grabbed the slim vibe, tucking it into his underwear and turning it on. 

By the time he yanked his pants back up, his pulse was pounding so hard it made his skin buzz. Every small movement made the hidden vibrator hum against him, amplifying his nerves. Just imagining Sen waiting for him above nearly undid him.

He hurried back on deck. Sen was leaning against the rail now.

“Hey,” Charlie managed, his voice thinner than he intended.

Sen didn’t answer. He pushed off the rail, closing the distance in a few strides, and pressed Charlie back against the wall of the boat. Then he dropped smoothly to his knees, eyes gleaming with open curiosity.

“Hey there, Charlie,” Sen said. 

Charlie’s hand trembled as he reached down, knocking the hat from Sen’s head to feel the silk of his hair. His fingers sank into the strands.

Sen leaned in closer to his waistband, his voice low and edged with playful promise. “Ready to teach me, then?”

Charlie let out a shaky laugh, removing his hands from Sen’s head. “Yeah… yeah, let’s start. But before we do… I hate that I even have to say this, but...Please don’t make any comments about how it’s not ‘real’ or whatever.” His voice faltered, eyes flicking away. “I just… yeah.”

Sen tilted his head. “Who would say something dumb like that?”

“I d-don’t know.” Charlie shifted, wishing he hadn’t mentioned it.

Instead of replying, Sen lifted his shirt just enough to lean forward and press a warm kiss against Charlie’s stomach. His hands drifted lower, pausing deliberately near his groin. He then squeezed.

“It’s so hot… feeling how hard you are,” Sen sighed, a faint blush creeping over his cheeks. His eyes flicked up.“You like me saying that?”

“Y-yeah,” Charlie admitted, his hand twitching at his side. “It’s… good to tease the outside first, before you…”

Sen unzipped his fly and pulled him out, causing Charlie to fall silent and his mind to wander. Seeing Sen hold his cock, made him want to hurry and shove it inside him immediately. But he held back; he didn’t want to spoil the moment for Sen. After all, this was a learning experience. 

Sen looked up at him as his hand moved in slow, careful strokes. The friction of the toy made his moments go slowly.

“Spit on your hand,” Charlie directed. “It’ll glide more easily that way. Y-you don’t always have to do that because sometimes guys have… Uh, pre cum, but not always...”

“Hmm… okay, Captain.” Sen’s grin widened as he licked his palm slowly, deliberately keeping eye contact before wrapping his hand around him again. This time, his moments were smoother with the added lubrication. “Should’ve brought the flavored lube.”

“I forgot,” Charlie said, cheeks warming. 

As Sen continued, Charlie enjoyed the view; the vibration between his pants helped even more. There was still a flicker of anxiety that another boat, or the coast guard, of all people, might pass by and catch them. But instead of dampening the moment, it only sharpened his arousal. He found himself wishing things would move faster.

He wanted Sen to use his mouth. 

He slid his hand into Sen’s hair, gently urging him closer. Sen glanced up shyly before his tongue flickered out in hesitation. Charlie could sense the inexperience immediately. 

“D-don’t be shy,” Charlie stroked his hair before tightening his grip gently. 

Sen snorted before taking the head of the penis into his mouth, letting it fall out, and clumsily running his tongue down the length. 

He hesitated, then went back to the head. Sen wouldn’t meet his eyes, and his shoulders were tense. Charlie could tell that, despite pushing past his insecurity about trying something new, Sen still seemed lost.

“If you want…” Charlie began softly, “I can hold your head and… guide you.”

Sen looked up, questioning.

“I’ll be gentle,” Charlie reassured. “So you can get used to it, at your own pace.”

“O-okay,” Sen whispered, opening his mouth.

Charlie took the cock and inserted it into his mouth. He groaned at the image before he thrusted his hips. The motions sent shivers down his spine.  Sen lets out little nosies of whimpers, urging Charlie to move a little faster. He instinctively pushed deeper and faster, causing Sen’s face to tint red. 

“Breath,” Charlie pulled out roughly, giving Sen a break. Sen gasped momentarily before Charlie pulled his mouth back onto him. 

Charlie continued to fuck his face, trying his best not to thrust too deeply. Sen, at one moment, grabbed Charlie's hand, squeezing as if asking for it to be over soon. Charlie nodded as he continued to thrust, focusing on the motion and vibration in his pants. 

He came. 

As he panted. Sen pulled back, sitting down, catching his breath.

“Wow,” he coughed, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Wow. That was… intense.”

Charlie chuckled nervously, coming down from his high. “I… I went easy on you.”

“Did you now?” Sen teased, wiping at his face with a laugh.

“Who knows?” Charlie shrugged. “Also be careful… Guys typically have cum you have to swallow. Sp-” 

“I’m aware,” Sen stopped him. “I’ve seen there are toys for that sort of thing. You should get one.”

“Yeah… do you want me…” Charlie’s gaze drifted to his erection.

“No, it’s okay,” Sen denied him gently. “I left you hanging last night. I’ll take care of it in the bathroom.”

Charlie considered offering again, but stopped himself. He was tired, and Sen was right. Instead, he just slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor beside Sen. He let a lazy smile settle on his face. 

Sen shifted closer and let his head rest against Charlie’s shoulder.

“Man, I wish I could take a shower,” Sen sighed.

“Sorry, this boat doesn’t have one,” Charlie admitted, a little flustered and guilty that he couldn’t give Sen what he wanted right now. “W-we can head back now. Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah, I had enough. I want real food.” 

 “Okay… We can go out or pick up something for you on the way,” Charlie said as he planned in his mind. “Then I’ll drop you off at your place.”

“And you will come inside with me. So we can take a shower together?” Sen offered.

“I will?” Charlie chuckled, warmth in his voice. “Okay, I will. Thank you.”

They continued to sit as they fell into silence, listening to the layered sounds of the ocean surrounding them.

After a while, Charlie started the engine and guided the boat back toward shore. They packed up their things, talking and teasing each other as they worked. Once everything was loaded into the car, they settled into the seats and drove off. 

The drive felt nice. They talked, like the rest of the world had faded away, and it was just the two of them. Charlie stopped to get Sen food and it made his mood even brighter. 

But it was coming to an end… They were almost at Sen’s apartment. 

“Hey, just so you know… After tonight, the next few days are going to be really busy for me,” Sen said as they approached. 

“Oh?” Charlie nodded to himself. He wasn’t particularly disappointed, but part of him knew he’d love to see Sen again as soon as possible. “I wish you luck with all t-that.”

“Yeah, thanks. But it means we probably won’t see each other for a little bit.”

“And you want to see me again?” Charlie teased lightly.

“Okay, don’t milk it.” Sen rolled his eyes, though his tone was warm. “Yes, I want to see you again. I want to do more stuff with you. This… Has been… Amazing.”

“Just let me know when.” Charlie pulled the car to a stop as he parked. 

“Saturday,” Sen said firmly. “We’ll meet again on Saturday. I promise you.”

“Saturday it is.” Charlie smiled until he felt a vibration in his pocket. Pulling out his phone, he glanced at the screen and raised his eyebrows.

It was a text from Beta:
“Yo. Can you pick me up at the airport on Thursday, please? If you can’t, no biggie.”

Charlie frowned. That was unusual. Beta usually got rides from his mom or, unfortunately, from Alpha. He also wondered why Sen wasn’t asked… For now, Charlie decided not to overthink it. He’d just say yes and ask about it later. Honestly, he was looking forward to that conversation. Maybe Beta got into a verbal argument with Alpha again. Maybe he could find out what it was going on with Alpha lately..

“Who texted you?” Sen asked, his tone edged with impatience.

“Beta,” Charlie replied, sliding the phone back into his pocket. “He’s flying in on Thursday.”

Silence stretched between them. Charlie almost offered to bring Sen along to the airport, but he swallowed the suggestion. He wanted some time alone with Beta. Besides, the idea of sitting there, wondering if Beta would notice something between him and Sen, made his stomach knot.

“Beta…” Sen repeated, his gaze shifting away. Then, so low Charlie realized he probably wasn’t meant to hear, Sen muttered, “Ew.”

Charlie pretended not to hear. He didn’t want to know why Sen said it. 

Not right now.

Chapter Text

Two days later, Charlie was slouched on his couch, half-watching the television. His thoughts kept drifting, circling back to everything that had happened with Sen.

Every time he replayed it, warmth crept up his neck, especially the memory of coming home, when Sen had pulled him into the shower and seen him completely naked for the first time.

Charlie had never liked showering or being fully exposed in front of someone else. But with Sen, he’d let him undress him without flinching or looking away. Sen hadn’t made a single comment about the insecurities Charlie usually obsessed over. Somehow, they fit together perfectly in that small, steamy space.

Strangely, nothing overtly sexual had happened. Sen had been tired, and Charlie couldn’t blame him; he’d been exhausted, too. They had simply kissed, touched, and washed each other in quiet contentment.

Later, Sen had asked him to stay the night. Of course, Charlie had said yes.

But now, Sen was busy, and they hadn’t talked much since, leaving Charlie with only memories to replay in quiet moments.

Not being around Sen was bittersweet. 

The silence sometimes brought waves of uncertainty and guilt. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, Sen was Alpha’s brother. And worse, Charlie had yet to tell him about Valentine's Day. The thought made his stomach twist every time it surfaced in his mind. He didn’t regret being with Sen, not for a second, but the timing was cruel.

Still, more often than not, he caught himself smiling over the small things, how Sen could be effortlessly cute and still have such a sharp mouth. How he somehow saved Charlie from loneliness. How, despite everything, Sen had become a real friend.

He told himself that was okay. Whatever this was between them, whatever they were becoming, he didn’t need to define it right now. Maybe he was just meant to have complicated relationships like this. And maybe… that wasn’t such a bad thing.

But it didn’t matter right now, because today, he had something else to look forward to. He was going to pick up Beta.

He wasn’t planning to tell Beta anything about Sen, but the thought lingered. What would Beta say if he knew? At least Beta and Sen had always seemed to get along, or at least, Charlie thought so. Their interactions in the background over the years had been friendly enough, better than Beta and Alpha ever managed.

But who really knew what was going on behind the scenes with their family? Especially with how annoyed  Sen had sounded when Beta came up recently, Charlie wasn’t so sure anymore. And even if they were on good terms, that didn’t mean Beta would be supportive. Beta already knew about how he and Alpha had been a “thing,” after all.

Still, Charlie couldn’t help but hope. In a perfect world, Beta would just be happy for him. 

He shook his head, a faint smile tugging at his mouth. He was overthinking again.
Sen only wanted sex anyway… so was there even a reason to mention it?

Better to just focus on spending time with Beta and let the rest sort itself out later.
He grabbed his keys and headed out.

As Charlie drove toward the airport, a light rain began to fall, coating the streets in a slick shine. Thankfully, it wasn’t far; he hated long drives in weather like this.

When he pulled into the pickup lane, Beta was impossible to miss. Even in the cold, he wore ripped jeans and a stretched-out T-shirt under a faded green flannel. His haircut looked like a stylist had given up halfway through, but somehow, it worked.

Charlie had long since realized that all the Senpai brothers had striking hair that set them apart from everyone else. Somehow, Beta’s managed to stand out even more.

He was leaning against a post, frowning at his phone, until Charlie rolled down the window.

“YOOO, it’s my homie, the Charlie!” Beta’s face lit up as he bounded forward. He yanked open the passenger door and tossed his bag onto the seat before Charlie could even think about getting out.“Dude, I got it. Get out of here! I hate airports.”

“Y-yeah… me too,” Charlie muttered, pulling away from the curb, eyes darting over the traffic. “Did you have a good flight?”

“Eh, decent. I didn’t get the middle seat, so that’s a win.” Beta stretched, popping his neck. “Though the old lady next to me wouldn’t stop talking. First thing she says is that I’d better not start smoking next to her. Like, ma’am, we’re thirty thousand feet up. It’s literally a federal crime.”

“Oh no…” Charlie bit back a laugh. Beta wasn’t someone who smoked either. 

“Oh, it gets better,” Beta went on, grinning. “Then she asks me to help her log back into Facebook. I didn’t have the heart to tell her it wasn’t working because there was no Wi-Fi. So I just sat there pretending to fix it, praying for the plane to either land or crash. Please, just let me die in peace.”

Charlie snorted. “You could’ve just put on headphones.”

“I did. She kept tapping my shoulder.”

“T-tragic,” Charlie said dryly.

“Unforgivable,” Beta agreed. He lightly tapped Charlie’s shoulder. “Can we get some food before heading back, please?”

“Of course. Has school been good?”

“Shockingly, yeah. Way better than high school, that’s for sure. Probably cause I actually care about what I’m doing now. I might even join this band, a guy from my program is starting.”

Charlie smiled. “That’s awesome. I’m glad y-your mom was supportive.”

“Shut up, you know why she was,” Beta said. “Honestly, I don’t think she would’ve let me go if it weren’t for you and your dad…Sorry, I mean ‘papa’.”

“My papa has a way of t-talking people down,” He sighed. Charlie exhaled softly. He’d forgotten that he had been the one who asked Neil to call her. He hated owing his papa anything, but Beta had sounded so close to giving up. Swallowing his pride had been worth it if it meant his mom backed off.

Neil had talked to her, explaining that there was a future in music, even if it wasn’t the traditional kind. He’d even offered some of his networking connections if Beta graduated, enough to get him a real start. Charlie couldn’t deny Neil’s talent for convincing people.

“Yeah,” Beta said, sighing. “I am lucky. Weirdly, doing shitty educational-wise helped my case. You see, Charlie, my brothers are too good at the ‘normal’ stuff. Straight A’s, always perfect. Of course, Mom was going to push being a lawyer or a doctor on them, ‘cause that’s what ‘smart’ kids do.”

“Doesn’t Sen like to sing?” Charlie asked, quietly.

“He does. I feel bad for him,” Beta said, shrugging. “I put him in a weird place. There’s no way Mom was going to agree with him doing something with music, too.”

Charlie’s mind wandered. He remembered the way Sen lit up when he sang. Could he do something for Sen too? Maybe help him find a way to pursue music, too. But the thought of asking Papa for more help made Charlie’s stomach twist.

“But he doesn’t care,” Beta continued. “Music can still be in his life. We perform together sometimes.”

“I know. I’d love to hear you two,” Charlie said.

“Definitely,” Beta replied. “Man, I’m just glad I slipped through the cracks before they could force me into something like accounting. I’d rather starve in a band than wear a suit every day.”

“You’d look terrible in a suit anyway,” Charlie said. He couldn’t even picture it; it would be a disaster.

“Exactly,” Beta said, pointing at him. “You get it.”

As they merged onto the main road, Beta fell quiet, scrolling through his phone and drumming his fingers against his knee. Charlie glanced over, wondering what he was looking at, but didn’t ask.

“I got another tattoo,” Beta said suddenly. “I’ll show you when we park. You really should get one with me sometime.” He twisted in his seat, eyes flicking from the road to Charlie. “Oh! Pull over. Mickey D’s! I’m starving. I’m not even kidding.”

“Sure,” Charlie said, spotting the golden arches a few blocks down. “You wanna eat inside?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Thank god,” Charlie sighed under his breath as he pulled into the drive-thru line, unfortunately behind a packed family van. He had a feeling they were going to take a while with their order.

“Hurry, check this out too.” Beta shoved up the sleeve of his flannel shirt, revealing a fresh tattoo —a detailed rendering of Freddy Krueger’s bladed glove stretching across his forearm.

“Oh, cool. T-that’s a really nice tattoo. I’m glad you finally got it.”

“Hell yeah, I did. Freddy’s a king. Look at that linework!”

Charlie leaned closer. “Was it a lot of money?”

“Pfft, money isn’t real,” Beta said. “But yeah, it was. My mom’s gonna freak when she sees it. She hates tattoos and horror stuff even more.”

“Yeah, that tracks.”

“Anyway,” Beta said, tugging his sleeve back down. “Next time, you’re getting one too. Matching, maybe. What about Jason? I feel like he fits your vibe.”

“I always wanted to get a Jaws tattoo, but uh…” Charlie hesitated. He thought of Alpha, how he used to mock Beta’s tattoos, how the disdain in his voice always made Charlie shrink from the idea. “I’m afraid of the pain.”

“It’s not that bad,” Beta said, waving it off. “Look, it’s moving. I can’t wait to eat.”

Charlie’s eyes shot forward as the van in front of them began to pull ahead. They rolled up to the speaker, where a monotone voice greeted them.

“Hey, give us a second. Dude, I think they have a vegan burger,” Beta said, leaning toward Charlie’s ear as he scanned the menu. “You should get that.”

“I’m not really t-that hungry…” Charlie cringed at the thought of what a vegan burger from a fast-food place might taste like.

“Get it anyway. I’ll eat it if you don’t. I’m getting the apple pie for you.”

“Fine. What are you getting?” Charlie chuckled.

Beta leaned closer, listing off his order along with two sodas. Once they finished, Charlie pulled forward to the next window.

“I got it covered,” Beta announced. When it came time to pay, he handed Charlie a wad of crumpled bills he’d fished from his pocket. Charlie groaned, covering his face with one hand. They grabbed their bags of food and parked in a quiet corner of the lot. Rain drummed lightly against the roof as the smell of fries filled the car. They took out the food and started eating in silence. 

“Hold up,” Beta said, tearing into his burger with one hand while digging his cracked phone out of his pocket with the other. “You gotta see these.”

He shoved the phone toward Charlie, swiping through photos at rapid speed. Random picture of art, blurry selfies, random scenery, and way too many pictures of homeless people.

Charlie snorted, chewing quietly as Beta narrated each picture. 

Charlie took another bite of his burger. It wasn’t bad at all. The bun was warm, the patty a little different from what he was used to, but still satisfying. The apple pie smelled sweet and buttery from the paper sleeve on his lap.

“Okay,” Charlie said after swallowing. “You were right. This hits the spot.”

“Told you.” Beta tossed his phone onto the dashboard and leaned back with a sigh. He studied Charlie for a long moment, then smirked. “Okay, I have to say it. I’m beyond shocked right now, looking at you.”

Charlie froze mid-bite. “W-what do you mean?”

Beta just stared, then burst out laughing so hard he nearly spilled his drink.

“You don’t look like you wanna kill yourself right now,” Beta said between laughs. “I’m honestly so happy to see that. I guess Sen was right.”

“S-sen?” Charlie flushed, clumsily dropping a pickle onto his lap and hurrying to brush it off. “Haha. Uh… thanks? Why are you saying t-that? W-what was Sen saying?”

“That you were doing okay when you went to his party,” Beta said with a shrug. “Sorry you had to go to that, by the way. And the shirt I told Sen to get you. Man, you two looked funny in the pictures.”

“Pictures? …Uh, never mind,” Charlie said. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

“I mean, you’re always a little sad,” Beta said, patting his shoulder. “But surprisingly, you look better. Healthier, even. I was kinda worried seeing you today, to be honest.”

“I’m fine,” Charlie said, a pit in his stomach, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. “Really. I-I don’t understand why you’d be worried.”

Beta eyed him for a moment before setting down his food. “Come on, Charlie. I suppose I should just say this now and get it out of the way. I knew about you and Alpha… having a thing? Am I wrong?”

“Oh…” Charlie’s chest tightened. “No, y-you’re not wrong. I’m sorry I never told you.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, dude. I was just waiting for you to come to me. And honestly, we can’t forget the fact that Alpha never told us anything either! He’s my flesh and blood, for god’s sake.” Beta sighed, running a hand through his hair. “But yeah, I figured something must’ve happened. Alpha gets weird every time I mention you. Usually, he won’t shut up about you.”

Charlie looked out the windshield. “Yeah. T-that sounds like him.”

“Also… Mom let something slip about him getting married to some girl,” Beta added with a grimace. “So… I kinda put it together. Who the fuck is he marrying?”

Charlie didn’t respond. He looked away, his eyes starting to sting. He didn’t even know why; it wasn’t like these thoughts hadn’t already haunted him before. Then he felt Beta’s hand on his shoulder.

“Hey,” Beta said softly, hesitating. “Look, I do kinda wanna know what happened. But only if you wanna tell me.”

Charlie let out a slow breath, staring out the rain-streaked windshield. “There’s not much of a story,” he said finally. “Alpha just… wants to marry some girl. Says it’ll make life easier.”

“Easier?” Beta echoed quietly.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, voice flat but oddly relieved to finally say it out loud. “She’s just his mom’s friend’s daughter or something.”

Beta paused, his eyes turning angry. “Fuck. I wish I could talk to him,” he said quietly. “Maybe try to knock some sense into him. But we both know how freaking stubborn he is.”

“Yeah. Don’t bother starting a fight over it. At the end of the day, he doesn’t have to be with me.”

Beta looked at him for a long moment, then sighed. “Yeah,” he said softly. “But he should’ve wanted to. As much as I thought your whole thing was weird, I could tell he really cared. For a long time, you were the only person he was ever decent to.”

Charlie’s voice wavered. “Guess my time ran out…”

“Do you think you’ll stay friends?” Beta asked gently.

“Right now… it feels like no,” Charlie admitted. “But I don’t k-know. Beta, I can’t talk about this anymore.”

As the words left his mouth, a flicker of guilt twisted in Charlie’s chest. Even if Alpha hadn’t been the best, Charlie wasn’t sure he’d deserved Alpha’s friendship either. Not after what he’d been doing with Sen.

Beta nodded slowly, his expression softening. “Alright. I won’t ask more. I just wanted to understand, you know?”

“I know,” Charlie said, forcing a faint smile. “T-thank you.”

Beta didn’t say anything right away. Instead, he leaned over and pulled Charlie into a hug. Charlie froze for a second, then sank into it, letting out a shaky breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. It felt good. Safe, even.

“I got you, man. I’m here for you,” Beta murmured. After a moment, he pulled back, keeping a hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “You’ve been doing good, though?”

Charlie met his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching upward. “Yeah. I’ve been trying. Some days are better than others.”

“I believe you,” Beta said softly. “But… I can still see it. You’re still sad, man. And that’s okay. You deserve better than what Alpha gave you.”

Charlie didn’t believe that at all. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Beta nodded, leaning back in his seat. “Anyway… you wanna know something kinda funny?”

“What?”

“I didn’t ask Sen to pick me up because of this, too,” Beta said, grinning. “I told him it was ‘cause he’s a terrible driver.” He snickered. “He got all huffy, but we’re cool… I think.”

Charlie frowned, not seeing the humor. “What do you mean, ‘because of this’?”

“I mean… the guy’s basically Alpha’s little lapdog,” Beta rolled his eyes. “I didn’t feel like listening to him run his mouth about you. It would’ve been awkward as hell.”

“But… why would he do that? He— I went to his birthday party.”

“Listen!” Beta cut in quickly. “When he told me he invited you, he said he’d figured out the thing about Alpha and wanted to be nice to you. But I know him, he’s nosy as hell and loves drama. So who knows? Maybe inviting you was a pity move. Or worse, a way to get information out of you so he could tell Alpha. They’re fake bitches sometimes.”

“I don’t think so.” Charlie’s voice was quiet but firm. “Sen wouldn’t talk about me like that.”

“Hmm.” Beta took a slow sip of his drink, studying him. “Oh? And why’s that?”

Charlie hesitated. The silence stretched until he finally muttered, “Because… me and Sen have been hanging out. A lot. Not just on his birthday.”

“The fuck?” Beta sat up straighter, eyes wide. “Wait…What?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said softly, heat rising in his neck. For a second, panic twisted in his stomach. Was Beta about to assume they were… more?

But Beta just laughed, dragging a hand down his face. “Damn, okay. That’s… weird. I thought you didn’t even like him.”

“I said I d-didn’t like him before?”

“Not directly,” Beta said. “But I could tell. Whenever he talked, you’d kinda wince. I mean, I love the guy, but yeah, you know how he gets.”

“Oh yeah… Now I remember.”

“So…” Beta leaned forward, eyes narrowing with curiosity. “How and why?”

Charlie paused, thinking about how to word this. 

“So… Sen just kind of stumbled across me one night at a bar,” Charlie explained. “I know it seems out of nowhere t-that we kept hanging out after that, but it was nice having someone who pushed me not to stay alone.”

“It’s hard to open up to me and your sister when we’re not around, huh?” Beta said, nodding in understanding.

“Yeah,” Charlie admitted. “It’s just… hard for me to really talk about t-things. I didn’t want you guys to feel helpless or worry too much.”

“Aw, Charlie…” Beta’s voice softened, genuine concern in his tone.

Charlie gave a small shrug, looking down at his hands. “But it’s been nice. Getting to know Sen, I mean. At first, I wasn’t t-that interested in getting closer. But he’s b-been… Helping me. Distracting me from stuff.”

“Distracting you? How?” Beta asked, raising an eyebrow. “Like, what’ve you guys been doing?”

“Uh…” Charlie’s face went hot instantly; he felt the tips of his ears burn.  For a split second, images of Sen pressed against him, flickered through his mind. “Just… hanging out. You know? Talking. Watching movies. Stuff like that.”

“He does have good taste in movies,” Beta said, popping a fry into his mouth, completely unfazed. “Is he why you've been happier?” 

“Maybe…” This caused Charlie to wonder where he would be if Sen hadn’t come across him.

“Well, that’s cool. Sen needs better friends, too. He doesn’t really hang out with loyal people.”

Charlie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, relief washing through him, though his cheeks were still burning.

“So… you don’t think it’s bad?”

“Eh.” Beta tapped his fingers against the armrest. “Just… be careful with him, alright? Sen’s kind of an unpredictable ticking time bomb. Like I said, there’s always a chance he’s only being nice so he can run his mouth later.”

“He’s done that a lot before?” Charlie asked cautiously.

Beta shrugged. “There’ve been times when he was totally cool with me, then the next day he’d go snitching to Alpha or Mom about something small. And forget it if you piss him off. Once, he asked me to hold money for a concert ticket. When I lost it, he threw my PlayStation at a wall. Didn’t talk to me for two months. Totally my fault, but still…”

He gave a short laugh, half-amused. “We’re cool now, and he’s been better lately, but… I still see it sometimes. So yeah, just be careful.”

Charlie’s stomach sank. Was Sen really going behind everyone’s back? If he were, that would be insane considering how close they’d been getting. He didn’t believe it. Beta didn’t know the half of it.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Charlie said slowly. “But… it feels like he doesn’t even like Alpha that much anymore.”

Beta snorted. “Please. We all hate Alpha. That’s nothing new.”

“No, I mean it. He told me he’s tired of him.”

“Maybe,” Beta said, leaning his head against the window. “Or maybe he’s just waiting until Alpha needs something. That’s how it always works. He’ll buckle the second Alpha snaps his fingers.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I bet he’s just waiting for Alpha to make him his best man for his wedding. God. You do know Alpha pays his rent and stuff, right?”

Charlie’s brow furrowed. “I… I didn’t know that.”

Oh god. His mind raced. Not only am I… involved with Alpha’s brother, but he’s… he’s fucking the one whose rent Alpha is paying? If anyone finds out… Is Sen in trouble? Would Alpha cut him off? What the hell am I doing?

Charlie bit the inside of his cheek, pushing the thoughts aside. 

“Yeah.” Beta sighed. “But hey, don’t worry. I’ve got your back. I’m on Team Charlie.”

“I appreciate that,” Charlie said, forcing a smile.

“You know what? We should evaluate Sen and figure out his intentions. And what I mean is, we should all hang out! You, me, and Sen.”

“All… three of us?” Charlie asked, his grip tightening slightly.

“Yeah. Why not?” Beta grinned, elbowing him playfully. “It could be fun, and I’ll be able to tell if he’s hiding anything. Win-win-win.”

Charlie felt a flush creep up his neck. Oh god… all three of us? How is that supposed to work? Would hanging out together feel like I was under a microscope? At least Beta didn’t seem suspicious… not yet.

“We should do it on your birthday,” Beta added, patting his arm. “Oh! That reminds me. I got you a gift.”

“You did?” Charlie asked, surprised, relieved the topic had changed.

Beta dug through his bag, sending wrappers and crumpled receipts tumbling onto Charlie’s clean floor mats. Charlie glanced down but stayed quiet. Finally, Beta pulled out a stuffed animal, if it could even be called that. It looked worn and ugly, one ear half-torn and missing its eyes.

“I got you an ugly, stupid-looking plushie,” Beta declared proudly. “Matches the other freaky ones on your bed. This one’s already missing its eyes, so you don’t have to do the work, you weirdo.”

Charlie took it from Beta’s hand. At least it felt soft and smelled new, like detergent instead of garbage.

“T-thank you? I… uh… always wanted… this?” Charlie looked down, awkward.

“You’re terrible at lying,” Beta laughed. “But it’s supposed to be a stress-relief doll thing. You can hit it, throw it, whatever. Hope it gets the stress out. Looks like you need it now.”

“I do,” Charlie admitted, already feeling a little better.

“Thanks for being open with me.”

“Beta… t-thank you for listening,” Charlie paused, taking a breath, “To be honest, I haven’t told you everything yet, but I promise I will… eventually.”

“I figured,” Beta said. “I know you overthink. When you’re ready, I’m here, at least until the end of March. My semester starts after that, so I’ll be going back.”

“I’ll keep t-that in mind. I feel even better just knowing you’re back,” Charlie said. Though a thread of anxiety lingered about the situation overall, he genuinely felt good in Beta’s presence.

“Hell yes,” Beta said. “Let’s hit the road, I’m ready to go.”

Charlie nodded. Together, they got ready to drive away. 

They drove in comfortable silence for a while. After a short while, Charlie pulled up at Beta’s home, his mom’s place, and a flicker of unease shot through him.

Please don’t let Alpha be inside… he thought, his stomach tightening. The last thing he needed was running into him now. Or even seeing. 

Beta waved him off, oblivious to Charlie’s sudden tension. “Home sweet home.” 

Charlie exhaled slowly, keeping a cautious eye on the driveway and front yard, half-expecting Alpha to pop out at any second.

“You know I would invite you inside, and I’ve been loving hanging out with you,” Beta admitted. “But my social battery is basically dead after flying. I can only handle so much before I start turning into a zombie.”

“Same,” Charlie said quietly.

“But hey… I want to hang out soon. How about we do it properly on Saturday?”

“Yeah,” Charlie agreed. “Saturday.”

“We can go bowling, get some drinks, and go to a movie?” Beta fist-bumped him lightly. “It’s a date. Well, not a date-date. You know what I mean.”

Charlie shook his head.“I know what you mean.”

“Sounds good,” Beta said.

Beta opened the car door, grabbing his bag. Charlie watched as he walked up to the garage and punched in the code. Beta turned around and waved before heading inside.

The second the door shut behind him, Charlie slammed his foot to the gas and drove away. His mind buzzed with everything Beta had said. Overall, it had been good, mostly comforting. He hoped next time would be less about Alpha and Sen. Saturday could actually just be them, hanging out, and no awkward topics.

But then his stomach sank.

Saturday.

Saturday… 

He’d already promised Sen he’d meet up with him that day.

Shit. 

He should call Beta right now and cancel. But if he did, wouldn’t it seem suspicious, ditching him so soon after visiting? And if Beta asked why, what was he supposed to say? He couldn’t tell him it was to see Sen. Even though Beta already knew they’d been hanging out, that could raise questions. Or worse, Beta might insist on joining them.

Maybe it was just better to hang out with Beta instead…

Charlie would feel awful about canceling after Beta had just gotten back. Maybe, in a way, this was good; a little space from Sen could help. Things between them were getting too close anyway.

Still, the thought of telling Sen made his pulse spike.

He had to do it now. Better now than later.

Charlie pulled over to the side of the block, hands trembling slightly as he grabbed his phone and hit dial.

“Hey, handsome,” Sen’s voice swooned instantly through the speaker.

“Hi, Senny. Are you having a g-good day?” Charlie asked, his heart hammering.

“I am! So, about Saturday, there’s this movie I think you’ll like. Although you know, anytime we watch stuff, we usually—”

“Sen, wait… there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What?” Sen said his voice was sharper than usual. He clearly didn’t like being interrupted.

“Um. Uh. I… I can’t meet up S-Saturday,” Charlie blurted, swallowing hard. “B-but we can see each other the next day.”

A pause. Then, tightly: “Um… why not?”

“Well… Beta asked if we could go bowling. And I… I said yes.”

“And why would you do that,” Sen said, voice clipped, “if you already had plans?”

“I—I forgot,” Charlie stammered, his mouth dry.

“So you’re hanging out with Beta?”

“Y-yeah.”

“And it has to be Saturday? With him?”

Charlie’s words tumbled out in a rush. “Well, like I said, I forgot. And when I remembered, I didn’t want him to get suspicious. He might start asking questions. I just… didn’t want to risk him figuring something out if we were all hanging out together. Like, if he picked up on anything between us—”

Silence.

Charlie could hear Sen breathing, slow and deliberate.

“Uh…I mean, it’s not like I want to hang out with him more than you,” Charlie said quickly. “I just… haven’t seen him in a while, and I do kind of miss him — but not in that way, obviously. I just thought if I said that I couldn’t hang out, it might make things worse—”

“I don’t care.”

Charlie froze. “…What?”

“I said I don’t care.” Sen’s voice was flat. “Do what you want.”

“Sen—” Charlie hesitated. “Are you… mad at me?”

“It’s whatever,” Sen said. “I have to go. Good luck with Beta.”

The line went dead.

Charlie stared at the screen, the silence heavier than any argument. 

“Okay, what the fuck,” he muttered. 

Chapter Text

Charlie didn’t try to call Sen back.

Instead, he started the car and drove in silence. The radio stayed off, just the low hum of the engine and the thud of his pulse in his ears. He kept glancing at his phone, each time hoping, each time disappointed.

The guilt was there for forgetting their plans. But beneath it, something hotter began to simmer, anger.

He’d tried to explain himself, hadn’t he? Yeah, he’d messed up, but shouldn’t Sen have been more understanding? Didn’t he get that Charlie was only trying to keep things quiet, to protect them both?

But of course, Sen, being Sen, had to make him feel like shit for it.

Charlie’s grip tightened on the wheel. Beta’s warning echoed in his head: “Don’t piss him off.”

He almost laughed, bitterly. Sen hadn’t yelled or cussed him out, which should’ve been better. But maybe he preferred the yelling version of Sen; at least then, Sen said what he felt. The silence was worse. The pretending-not-to-be-upset Sen.

God. Had he just made a critical error? Was Sen going to give up on what they had?
Or tell Alpha?

His thoughts spiraled. Memories flashed, all the times people had used him, snapped at him, made him feel small. Every time, he’d swallowed it down, told himself it was fine when it wasn’t.

And now Sen was doing the same thing.

He wasn’t going to call him. Not tonight. Not when he was this pissed off, or this tired. Clearly, Sen didn’t want to talk anyway.

If he called, Sen probably wouldn’t even pick up. Or worse, he’d answer in that cold, quiet tone. A text wouldn’t fix it either. It’d just give Sen another way to ignore him.

When he finally got home, Charlie dropped his keys on the counter and went straight to the kitchen. He opened a cabinet, grabbed the half-empty bottle of whiskey, and poured himself a glass.

He stood there for a long moment, leaning against the counter, staring blankly at the wall as he took a swallow.

He exhaled slowly. He was exhausted, emotionally and otherwise.

He just needed sleep.

Tomorrow, maybe, things would be better.

Charlie woke up feeling just as tense as before. His head throbbed faintly; he couldn’t remember how many drinks he’d had before passing out.

He reached for his phone on the nightstand.
No texts. No missed calls.

He stared at the screen for a long moment, then tossed it onto the bed.
“Figures,” he muttered.

Dragging himself into the kitchen, he grabbed a glass and poured some orange juice. Halfway through, he paused, sighed, and opened the fridge again. His hand found the half-empty bottle of champagne he’d been saving.

“Screw it,” he said under his breath, splashing some into the glass.

He took a slow sip. It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t about the taste anyway.

By noon, he still hadn’t heard from Sen. Two mimosas later, he was halfway buzzed and grateful he didn’t have work today.

Then his phone rang.

His heart jumped. Without thinking, he grabbed it.

“S-sen?!” he blurted.

A pause. Then a familiar voice, but not the one he wanted.

“Uh, no, it’s Clem,” his sister said, switching to English.

Charlie froze, his stomach dropping. He slumped back in the chair, pressing a hand over his face as heat crept up his neck.

“Oh God, no. Oh God, no…”

“Jeez, Charlie,” Clem laughed. “Sound a little more disappointed next time. Who’d you think I was? Who’s Sen?”

He cleared his throat, forcing his voice into something resembling normal.
“Um… hey. H-how are y-you?”

“Don’t hey me. What’s going on with you?” Clem’s tone shifted, concern creeping in. “You sound like you haven’t slept in a week. Are you drunk?”

“I’m tipsy,” he admitted. “I, uh… it’s been a weird couple of days.”

“Weird how?”

He hesitated. How was he supposed to explain this? The few times Clem had visited, she’d only met Sen once, two years ago. They’d exchanged what, two sentences?

So he didn’t have to say who Sen was. He could say that he was his dealer, Clem wouldn’t know.  There was a way to steer this whole thing somewhere else. Change the subject, laugh it off, pretend everything was fine.

But something gnawed at him. Why hadn’t he told Clem? He used to tell her everything. Why hadn’t he been honest about Alpha being the one who broke up with him in the first place?

He knew he could trust her. Clem wouldn’t go and tell Alpha what was happening, or Sen. And even if, for some reason, she did… maybe he deserved it. Maybe he needed her to.

He was tired. Tired of dealing with this alone. He’d hit his limit.

“It’s a long story,” he said finally.

“It’s always a long story with you,” she replied gently. “You told me you’ve been doing better, and I believed you, but something else happened, didn’t it?”

“It’s a long story,” he repeated. “I want to tell you, but… I’m worried you’ll see me as a monster.”

“Charlie…” Her voice softened. “Get on your computer. I want to see your face.”

“Clem—”

“Now, Charlie.”

He sighed, dragging himself to his desk. He hung up, and moments later, her face filled the screen. She was smiling, but her eyes were sharp with concern. Her hair was pulled into a messy bun, a few strands escaping around her face.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” Charlie slurred, instantly aware of how much of a mess he must look. Wrinkled shirt from yesterday, hair sticking up, eyes red. He hadn’t even bothered with his eyepatch. It felt wrong somehow, not wearing it, though Clem had seen everything after the accident, every part of the healing.

“Okay,” she said slowly. “I heard you took Papa’s boat out. Did you have a good time? He was bitching the whole day, convinced you’d sink it.”

“Well, tell him his boat’s fine,” Charlie sighed, relieved for a moment by the casual topic.

“Why’d you take it out anyway? Did you bring someone with you?” Clem asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I did,” Charlie said after a pause. “It… has to do with what’s going on.”

“Then spill,” Clem said, leaning closer. “What’s up?”

“But, uh… How are you?” Charlie blurted, a little too fast, obviously stalling.

Clem raised an eyebrow. “Charlie.”

“Okay, okay,” he hiccupped, looking off to the side. His throat tightened. “Let me start by saying I’m sorry. And this is gonna be a long story.”

Clem sighed softly. “I’m in no rush.”

“Right. So.” He ran a hand through his hair. “First off, I lied about my breakup. I said I was the one who left Alpha, b-but I wasn’t. He broke up with me because he wanted to marry a girl. I didn’t tell you ‘cause I didn’t wanna hear you go off on him just yet.” The words tumbled out in one breath.

He glanced up at her face, bracing for it.

“I had a feeling,” Clem said, her expression tightening. “What an asshole. Like I said, fuck Alpha.”

“Clem, please,” Charlie sighed. “There’s more. So much more.” He took a shaky breath, preparing himself. “So, uh… remember how I told you I was seeing someone else?”

Her posture straightened as she leaned into the camera. 

“Yeah,” she said carefully. “And?”

He hesitated. “That someone is… Sen.”

Her smile flickered. “…Sen?”

“Yeah. As in Senpai.”

Clem blinked. “Oh… OH! As in Alpha’s brother, Senpai?”

Charlie didn’t answer. He just stared at her.

For a beat, Clem said nothing. Then she let out a sharp, disbelieving snort.
“Oh my God.”

“W–what?” Charlie stammered, startled by Clem’s lack of disgust. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re a mess, but at least you still have game,” she said, laughing more as she covered her mouth. 

“What does that even mean?” Charlie sputtered.

“You’re telling me,” Clem said between bursts of laughter. “That you somehow managed to bag two very conventionally attractive men, basically back-to-back?”

“I t-thought you said Alpha was ugly!”

“I mean… his personality is,” she argued. “But I can still acknowledge he’s pretty when he keeps his mouth shut.”

“Clem, they’re b–brothers!” 

“That’s the funniest part!” she laughed even harder. “By the way, I’m not surprised you managed to get with t-two pretty men. You’ve always been able to attract people; you’re adorable. But this? Two brothers? Oh my God.” She wiped at her eyes. “Neither of them knows, right?”

“Uh… well…” Charlie felt his face burn with embarrassment and confusion. “Alpha doesn’t. I haven’t talked to him in a while. But Sen knew I was dating Alpha before.”

Her jaw dropped. “And he still went for it? Oh my God, do you realize what Alpha’s face is going to look like when he finds out?”

“Clem! This isn’t funny! I don’t want him t-to find out!”

“It’s a little funny,” she giggled. “Come on! Alpha’s been a smug jerk forever, and now his precious little brother’s into you after he dumped you? The irony writes itself.”

Charlie glared at her through the screen. “Clem, I’m serious. If he finds out—”

“Oh, trust me, I’m very aware,” she said, trying to stifle her laughter. “He’ll lose his mind. Like, full dramatic meltdown—pacing, yelling about betrayal and family honor.”

“You’re not helping.”

“I’m just saying. This isn’t the worst thing,” she teased, leaning closer to the camera. “Getting a boyfriend should be a good thing.”

Charlie groaned. “We’re not dating!”

“Okay, okay,” Clem said, holding up her hands but still smiling. “But still. You and Alpha weren’t really a thing either, right? He never even called you his boyfriend. So why should he care what you do now?”

“We were still something…” Charlie frowned. “You don’t think it’s… messed up? That’s his b-brother?”

“Hmm… let’s see,” Clem said, tilting her head, thoughtful now. “Did you cheat on Alpha with Sen?”

“No.”

“Alright, so we can rule that out. So how did this happen with Sen?”

“He found me in a bar a week after Alpha said we were done and basically asked to… Experiment with me.”

“And you said yes?”

“Uh, kind of. I don’t even know why he wanted to do it with me.”

“Again, you’re cute,” she said with a small laugh. “But there you go. It’s not ideal, sure. But whatever is? Life’s messy.”

“I’m so confused. Last time we talked, you were scolding me about my hookups, and now—”

“That’s different,” Clem cut in. “Back then, I was worried about you being with strangers. People you didn’t know, who might use you, hurt you, or give you a STD. I hated hearing you say you went home with someone whose name you didn’t even remember the next day.”

“Okay, okay, I get. I guess that’s a good point,” Charlie murmured, a flicker of shame twisting in his chest.

Her tone softened. “But this? At least you know who they are. It’s full of drama, yeah, but it’s more complicated than dangerous.”

“Would you date the brother of your ex?”

“Dating? You said you weren’t dating him.” 

“We aren’t!” Charlie hesitated. “Answer my question, please.”

“Mmm, maybe? I think it’s all situational.”

“That’s the thing, t-there’s more that I have to tell you.”

“Okay, hold up.” Clem sat back, eyes narrowing slightly. “Let’s rewind so I can actually understand this. Tell me what happened with Alpha. Why is he marrying a girl?”

“To make his life easier,” Charlie sighed. “A-and I think he’s gotten into religion more.” 

“Seriously? Wow.” She rolled her eyes. “Unbelievable.”

Charlie nodded, bitterness tightening his jaw.

“Okay,” Clem said after a moment. “So what did Sen say?”

“He felt sorry for me. He told me he hasn’t been getting along with Alpha lately.”

“Ohhh.” Clem leaned closer to the screen. “Do you think Sen’s doing this on purpose? Like, to piss Alpha off?”

“Clem, don’t ask that. I don’t want to think about t-that.”

“Fine, fine.” She held up her hands. “Then what was going through your head when Sen asked you to, you know… Experiment?”

“We got drunk and kissed; it caught me off guard. I hadn’t really spent much time with him before. When we saw each other again, I told him I felt guilty about it, but Sen said it was fine. He told me he wanted to figure out his sexuality and that he trusted me. Then he asked if we could… experiment a bit more.”

“Aww, that’s kind of sweet,” Clem said, smiling faintly. “From what I remember, Sen was nice. I think he’d actually be a better choice for you anyway. He’s the shorter one, right?”

“He isn’t that sweet,” Charlie huffed.

“Oh, so he’s a little bitchy too?” Clem teased.

“H-he has his moments.” 

“You and your type,” she smirked. 

Charlie ignored that. His throat worked before he finally said, “Actually, Clem… W-when he first asked me to experiment, I said no.”

“Oh?” Clem’s voice softened instantly, the teasing gone. “Why?”

“Because it felt wrong,” he said quietly. “Because it was Alpha’s brother.”

“But it still happened?”

“Yes. Multiple times.”

“Oh…” Her brow furrowed. “How?”

Charlie’s stomach twisted. Talking to Clem had been easier than he expected, but this part, this confession, felt impossible. He stared at the floor, hands knotted in his lap.

“Charlie?” she asked gently.

Silence. Then…

“Alpha wanted me again.”

Clem blinked. “I’m sorry. What?”

He exhaled shakily. “It was Valentine’s Day. He came back and said he m-missed me. Said he wanted to be with m-me. And I believed him, Clem. I believed him. We had sex. Then he said he was going back to her. That he was still with her. Like it meant nothing. Like I meant nothing!”

“Oh?” Clem’s eyes widened. “Wait, he just…What? After everything?”

“Y-yeah!” Charlie’s voice cracked, anger spilling through his panic. “But the worst part? “He said we couldn’t be together because he couldn’t ‘risk his perfect life.’ But he wanted to keep seeing me. Behind her back. Like that was normal. Like I’d be okay with that!”

Clem’s face hardened, her jaw tight. “That absolute asshole! Charlie, why are you even feeling bad for him? That just proves what kind of person he is!”

But Charlie kept going, voice shaking harder now. “But I messed up too! Because… On the same day—” He choked. “I went and slept with Sen.”

Clem froze. “Wait… on the same day you…?”

“The same day. T-the same day, Clem!” His voice wavered. “I was so angry. After what happened with Alpha, I was just… So angry. And he was willing, and I—” His words broke apart, a small, desperate sound slipping out. “I can’t take it back.”

“Charlie…” She pressed a hand over her mouth.

“I know! I know!” His voice trembled. “When it happened, it was out of anger. I never told Sen what really happened t-that day. I couldn’t. He t-thinks the last time Alpha and I were together was before we broke up. He doesn’t know! I know it was wrong, I know it was stupid! I hate myself for it. I can’t stop thinking about it, and it’s all worse because I like him now. I can’t stop thinking about him. But he hates me too! A-and, a-and I also stole some ChapStick! And—”

“HEY, hey, Charlie,” Clem cut in, her voice firm but gentle. She leaned closer to the screen. “Look at me. Look at me.”

He shook his head, gasping, fingers tugging at his hair.

“Charlie.” Her voice sharpened. “You need to breathe, okay? In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Come on, with me.”

He tried, uneven at first, one hand pressed to his chest as he fought for air.

“There you go,” Clem murmured, her tone low and steady. “Good. I’m here.”

A moment passed. Then, softly, “Alright, can you do something for me? Name five marine animals.”

His voice came out as a broken laugh. “W-what?”

“Five marine mammals,” Clem repeated.

“Uh… like a s-shark?”

“There you go. Four more.”

“S-seals… Whales… Uh…Seahorses… Jellyfish…” His thoughts scrambled.

“There you go,” she said. “Now count. Either out loud or in your head.”

And Charlie did. He closed his eyes and counted, taking in shallow breaths. Clem stayed quiet, letting the silence stretch between them. Slowly, his shoulders began to sink, the tremors in his hands easing. His breathing steadied.

He peeked one eye open. Clem was watching him.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked hesitantly.

“Not really,” he sniffed. “This is so stupid. There are so many worse things going on, and I’m whining about something that’s all my fault.”

“Charlie—”

“I just… I ruin everything, Clem.”

“You don’t ruin everything,” she said firmly. “You made a mistake. You’re human. Charlie, thank you for trusting me with this information.”

“I should’ve told you sooner.”

He wrapped his arms around his legs, curling into himself.

“Do you want to be alone?” Clem asked. Though she offered, her expression said the opposite, she didn’t want to leave him.

“No. I’m sorry, Clem. I’m sorry I made you listen to all this.”

“Charlie… are you going to be okay?” she asked gently. “Because I’m worried right now. For you.”

“I will,” he said softly. “I’m just… being hard on m-myself. I won’t do anything. I promise. Talking to you right now is helping more than you know.”

“Good.” She exhaled, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. “Do you have water?” She redirected. 

“I have rum next to me,” Charlie slyly said. 

“I can’t with you,” Clem laughed. “Go get some water.” 

“Okay,” He used the table to lift his shaky body. Taking his glass of rum, he walked to the sink, dumping it and filling it with water. As he drank, relief washed down his throat. He filled it up again and made his way to sit down at the computer. 

“Good job,” She said. “Better?"

“Better.”

“Listen to me. I still don’t think this is the worst thing,” Clem said. “So… yeah, maybe you shouldn’t have slept with Sen that same day.”

“Valentine’s Day is Sen’s birthday too,” Charlie muttered.

“Oh.” Clem gasped, then snorted. “Haha. Oh, wow, never mind. It was his birthday! You really did get yourself into deep shit.”

Even though he could tell she was teasing, Charlie winced anyway.

“In all seriousness,” Clem went on, her voice softening. “You can’t go back and change it. But you can move forward, okay? You’re not a monster. You were hurting. People make weird choices when they’re in pain. And honestly, from what I’ve heard, Alpha’s the one who really screwed up. He abandoned you and cheated on his fiancée.”

“I know.” Charlie’s voice dropped. “But I can’t help blaming myself. I only got involved with Sen in the first place because I was mad at Alpha.”

“Well… I respect that you’re owning it,” Clem said gently. “But don’t forget, it takes two to tango. Sen was the one who initiated it, right? Maybe he wouldn’t even care if you told him. Honestly, I think Alpha would be more pissed at him than at you if he found out.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“God, you’re so biased.”

“Of course I am,” Clem said with a small laugh. “You’re my brother. I couldn’t care less about either of those dicks’ feelings. If you killed someone, I’d probably still defend you.”

“I would do that for you, too, Clem. I would,” he said, swallowing hard, eyes glassy. “I just… I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Start by forgiving yourself first,” she said softly. Then, after a pause: “Can I ask you something? You said you turned Alpha down when he offered to keep seeing you, even after he got engaged. I know how much you liked him. Why didn’t you take that?”

“I don’t like cheating.”

“I’d say no one does, but apparently not everyone got that memo.”

“What point are you trying to make?” Charlie sighed. 

“Do you really think you’re such a bad person when you knew that was wrong?”

“Clem, I don’t need y-you justifying what I did.” He gave a watery laugh and wiped his eyes with the heel of his hand.

“Just remember that, okay?”

“I k-know. I know what I need to do. I want to tell Sen the truth soon…” He stopped mid-sentence as the thought hit him. “But maybe it doesn’t even matter anymore. It might already be over between us.”

“Oh my god, what do you mean?”

“He’s frustrated with me. We were supposed to hang out on Saturday, but I forgot. I accidentally made plans with Beta yesterday.”

Clem’s eyebrows shot up. “Beta’s involved too?”

“No! Not like that!” Charlie groaned.

“I’m joking. I know.” Clem smirked. “How did you tell him?”

“After I realized what I did, I tried to call him to explain, but he just went quiet on the phone. I could tell he was pissed. I think he needed time to cool off.”

“And did you try to call him back today?”

“N-no…”

“…Charlie.”

“He hasn’t called back! Pretty sure he’s ignoring me.”

“This is so fucking stupid,” Clem said bluntly. “God men and their miscommunication.”

“I know, I know,” Charlie said, rubbing his temple. “He has a bit of a t-temper, and I’m worried that when I t-talk to him again, he’s gonna be angry.”

“But you don’t know that, because you haven’t talked to him,” Clem pointed out.

“But I feel like he is. And I’m scared that if we fight, the whole overarching issue is gonna come up! About me and Alpha.”

“It doesn’t have to,” Clem said firmly. “Charlie, don’t give up what you have with him if it makes you happy. But you need to sort this mess out with him before worrying about anything else.”

“I know.” Charlie hesitated. “But I’m also scared… because I want it to be more.”

Clem gave him a knowing look. Charlie wasn’t surprised, he’d probably figured out his feelings from the start.

“He wants it to stay physical,” Charlie continued. “Which should be fine, right? I mean, I want that too.”

“Huh?” Clem asked, raising a brow. “You just said you wanted more.”

“I shouldn’t,” Charlie said. “Because if it stays physical, we can stop whenever and pretend it never happened.”

Clem studied him for a moment. “You’re right. In theory. If you two kept it casual, Alpha would never have to find out. And Sen wouldn’t either.” She sighed, then shook her head. “But that’s bullshit, Charlie. You’re already attached. You can’t pretend your heart’s not in it.”

“I guess,” he murmured.

“What is it about Sen that made you like him?”

Charlie’s lips curved into a small, helpless smile. “I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about him. Maybe it’s just infatuation, or maybe I’m being codependent again. But I like him. Even when he drives me insane.”

Clem’s expression didn’t shift. “But what do you like about him?”

“He’s cute. Really cute. Super charming, even with that sharp tongue. He knows how to have fun. He makes me forget everything.”

Clem leaned back, unimpressed. “That’s it? Charming. That’s exactly how Alpha started, too, remember?”

Charlie’s shoulders tensed. “It’s not the same, Clem. He’s not the same!”

“Excuse me for comparing, but how’s it different?” Clem asked carefully.

“The difference is that Sen isn’t promising me anything. He’s been honest from the start.” Charlie said the word spilling without thought. “Alpha was hardly fun, it was… a lot of pressure being around h-him.”

“He had a major stick up his ass?”

“Y-yeah,” Charlie said, chuckling weakly. “Alpha could be romantic and emotional, which I liked. But…” He trailed off, tracing the rim of his glass. “With Sen, it’s physical. He’s more willing to… explore. I missed that side of myself.”

“So you’re saying Sen’s better in bed, huh?”

“Clem!” Charlie groaned, blushing.

“Whatttt,” Clem giggled, clearly enjoying how uncomfortable he was.

“I’m done talking about this. I’m telling you way too much.”

He felt conflicted and weird now. Clem was waiting for him to agree that Alpha was worse. But he didn’t want to, despite what Alpha had done. Talking about him always felt like betrayal. Clem meant well; he knew that. But sometimes it felt like she needed him to hate Alpha so that she could be right.

“This is what happens when you bottle things up for so long,” Clem said.

“I know,” he huffed, trying not to sound too emotional. He picked at a loose thread on his sleeve, wishing she’d stop looking at him like she could see right through him.

“So I’m guessing even if you make up, you’re not planning to tell Sen how you feel? 

“No. Never. It’d be pointless. He doesn’t want to be tied down. And honestly, he’s right. It’s better if we don’t get close like that.” He swallowed, forcing the words out even though they hurt. “Maybe it’d be best if I didn’t even try to talk to him again. Maybe it’ll just… Fizzle out like nothing ever happened.”

Clem frowned. “Charlie.”

“What?” he said, sharper than he meant to.

“It’s too soon. At least talk to him first. Clear the air.”

“But why?” The words came out almost as a plea.

“Don’t let it end like this, on a stupid misunderstanding. If you care about him, fix it. You’ll regret it if you don’t.”

“But Alpha—”

“He doesn’t exist.”

Charlie blinked. “But…”

“Charlie,” Clem said quietly, just looking at him. “Are you really ready for it to be over?”

He stared back, the question sinking deep. A wave of emotion washed over him; guilt, longing, and confusion. She was right. He wasn’t being honest with himself. He kept saying it’d be easier if it were just over, but the thought of never seeing Sen again made his chest tighten. He remembered Sen’s face, his smell, that spark in his eyes that made everything else fade.

“You’re right.” Charlie’s voice was small, almost a whisper. “I’m not ready. I still want to see him. Just a few more times. God, t-that sounds awful.”

“It doesn’t,” Clem said gently. “I can tell Sen’s become someone special to you.”

“I think he has,” Charlie admitted, voice trembling. “I-I know we won’t date… b-but I don’t know. I-I should go and—” He tried to stand but stumbled, catching himself on the edge of the table. “Maybe I’ll wait until I’m sober first.”

“Good call,” Clem said, smiling faintly. “Hey, can you promise me something?”

He looked up. ”W-what?”

“Keep telling me what’s going on.”

“I will.” He rubbed at his face, voice cracking just slightly. “You’ve… helped me so much. I still feel sick, but… better.”

“As you should.” Clem’s tone softened, her teasing edge fading into warmth. “Also, Charlie. Don’t lie to yourself. If what you want is something real, stop settling for people who don’t want the same.”

“I’ll try.” Charlie managed a weak smile. “I think I’ll be able to let Sen go when I’m ready. It’ll be easier with him, I know what he wants.”

Clem nodded, her expression soft but sad. “That’s all I want. For you to be honest with yourself.”

A quiet stretched between them.

After a moment, Charlie exhaled. “I’m sorry, Clem.”

“For what?”

“For making this all about me again. You’re always listening to my disasters.”

“That’s what sisters are for, idiot.”

He smiled faintly, warmth prickling behind his eyes. “Still… t-thank you. For not judging me.”

“Never,” she said simply. “You beat yourself up enough for both of us. Hey, Charlie.”

“Yes?”

“Remember. You’ve got a home back here. I know Papa’s an ass, but I can find a way for you to get a place without him knowing you’re back.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I wish I could just grab you through the screen and take you back right now.” Clem smiled. “Actually, I think I’ll visit you.”

“I’d like t-that.”

“Maybe then I can see if this Sen guy is even worth your time.”

Charlie laughed softly. “Haha, okay then.”

Clem grinned, and the heaviness between them eased just a little. She started talking about looking at flights tomorrow, and somehow, the conversation drifted to small things, how Basset and William were doing, how Clem’s songwriting had been going, and a fight Clem had with one of her friends.

The night stretched on, their words meandering and softening until they blurred into tired sighs. By the time morning crept through the curtains, they were still there. Two siblings, thousands of miles apart, clinging to the quiet comfort of knowing they weren’t alone.