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“What’s got yourself in a stir?” Edward had asked him one cool evening. They were both waiting at the big station, the smaller engine having just tidied up the yard.
“Your wheels have been creaking rather loudly since you pulled in. Either you haven’t been to the Works in a while,” Edward mused, knowing that would’ve been unlikely, “or you have something on your mind.”
It had been a few weeks since he had went out for maintenance himself. That was the culmination of a broken crankpin and a special train that was hours late.
He had felt fortunate that Henry was the engine waiting at the station- he could tell that his face lit up as he heard him whistle triumphantly, wearily pulling into the station, was one with the cheering enthusiasts as they crossed the platform. But after Edward returned to the sheds, they hadn’t really gotten a chance to talk more.
However, though he meant to spark conversation, the bigger engine seemed rather uneasy.
“Reminiscing.” Henry said plainly, causing Edward to purse his mouth. “Not fond ones.”
“Did… someone…?” Edward wasn’t sure how to prod. Did someone prompt this?
“I’ve been seeining Percy with Gordon and James a lot more frequently. He’s been really… well, puffed up in the boiler as of late?”
“It’s nice that he’s come so far since then.” Edward grinned at the thought of Percy scrambling the inside of Gordon’s boiler with his antics yet again.
“Still, can’t help but think back on his first day.” Henry frowned. “When you were near the sheds with him and I stormed up…”
“Oh, but that was in the past!” Edward was quick to laugh.
“I can’t let it go.” The big engine sighed, a large hiss now exhaling out of his funnel. His eyes fell to the gravel beneath their rails.
Edward was just as quick to stop. Percy didn’t sing the tunnel song in front of him again, did he?
“Percy certainly likes you now,” he consoled. “Of course, he was quicker to the shunt, but surely he’s over it by now.”
“But I nearly did that to you.”
And, for whatever reason, Edward found himself unable to reassure.
“…But you didn’t. Percy stopped you, we had a laugh about it, and you didn’t try it on again.”
“I’m sorry,” Henry grimaced, “Won’t you at least let me be remorseful?”
“I’m not stopping you,” Edward replied. Was he?
“It wasn’t right of us- of me- to have ever doubted you”, Henry spoke further. “Of course Duck and BoCo were mad when we were chattering about you. They’re your friends. They knew you would’ve persevered from the start. Me, James, Gordon…”
“I can’t blame you for thinking these things,” Edward replied, selectively creaking his front wheels. “I was due for maintenance. You said it yourself, I was positively straining when I pulled that train!”
Henry didn’t feel any better with Edward chuckling at the memory.
“Well- but— you’re so much better than the lot of us—”
“Don’t put yourself down so much for my sake.” Edward firmly interrupted. “Aren’t we friends again?”
“Well, you were always a good friend.”
“Only because you’re a good one to have.”
“You’re just saying that,” Henry replied, still looking down. “You’re kind, Edward. You really know how to stoke one’s firebox. I admire you for it.”
“I admire you too.”
It was said so casually, so softly, that in any other conversation with the other engines, it would’ve surely been drowned out either through sheer noise or banter.
Henry had stopped hissing steam.
Edward kept going. “That night, when it was pouring and I made it to the station hours late with the visitors… you know, I didn’t make it through out of sheer kindness. You saw how red my face was by the time I pulled in.”
“You minded the comments we made. You heard about them.” Henry muttered.
“No, I hadn’t thought of what you said,” Edward replied. “I was reminded of what you did. Remember the days when you were in your old shape?”
“Whatever could you mean by that?” Now it was Henry’s turn to laugh sadly. “When you had to pick up the work after me when I broke down? Or when we completely shunned you while we were on strike?”
“It’s not any particular memory. But seeing you, an engine with problems noticeably worse than my own- who was doubted by so many, including the Fat Controller…”
“The Controller.” Henry’s stare went wide, then focused again. “That’s right. Y’know, I had never seen him so angry at you before- that night you pulled in late.”
“How you were able to bare it all those years ago, I wouldn’t know,” Edward grinned for a moment, but then let his face fall. “I almost couldn’t believe he actually said the possibility of sending you away. But in the end, he didn’t. I- we’re all glad for it.
And that’s exactly what I’m talking about, Henry. The odds looked impossibly stacked against you- your poor design and subsequent performance, all of that. And yet… here you are now. You persevered.”
“But that wasn’t all me. You picked up after many of my jobs. Who knows- if you weren’t there, maybe the Controller would’ve given up on me earlier.”
Almost like that one cold morning, Edward thinks to himself.
“Huh?”
“Oh, sorry, just thinking of one of those busy days. Carry on.”
Conversation for another night.
“Well…,” Henry began, retracing his route of thought, “wait, no. I’m still trying to tell you that I’m sorry.”
“That’s because I want us to be friends again,” reiterated Edward. “And I can’t very well do that while you’ve walled yourself up in shame yet again.”
There was another pause.
Then, a crack of a smile.
“Did you just say ‘Walled up in shame?’ I can’t believe you, Edward.”
Henry was in stitches, allowing a full smile to spread his bufferbeam. And Edward couldn’t help it- he laughed wholeheartedly with him, feeling funny in the boiler.
“But,” Henry switched back to a more neutral expression, “you shouldn’t feel like you have to be fine every time you see me.”
“It’s okay—”
“Edward.”
”Right. Sorry.”
“Edward, you haven’t been okay for a while,” Henry said bluntly. “I can see it in your face. And in not being able to even talk about these things without chuckling it off.”
Edward, his eyebrows furrowed, stared directly ahead at him. Henry continued.
“I wasn’t alright either, all those years ago. And even now, I still go through the motions every other day when there’s something bothering me. But this doesn’t mean you won’t ever be okay again. Just that you don’t have to pretend that it never happened at all.”
“I’m sorry, yes. I just…”
Was this Henry, giving him wisdom? What could he say to that?
“I just miss you.” Edward almost blurted. “I don’t wish for you to feel like you have to make up so much for me. I’m not worth the trouble.”
“Of course it’s worth it to make up to you.” Henry replied, serious. Then, his face softened. “I miss you too.”
I want to do this together.
It couldn’t be clearer. Not where they were now and where they wanted to go- but that he was with him.
And we could be okay.
“If it’s any worth, you were always my favorite engine to share a train with.” Edward somehow beamed brighter.
Henry could feel the lights on him, causing his face to heat. Were the station lights always so warm?
“Well, I may have a longer train tomorrow. I don’t suppose a certain engine at Wellsworth would be willing to lend me a wheel over Gordon’s Hill?”
“They might, if you whistle loudly enough...”
The Flying Kipper was heavier than usual. The big green engine still hauled it with all his might, feeling rather emboldened.
Slowing down to a stop at Wellsworth Station, he whistled loudly with a peep! peep! peep! and called for help. A blue tender engine quickly chuffed up with a peep! peep! and buffered up to the end of the train.
“I’m ready!”
“So am I!”
And they set off together.