Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I appreciate you making time to see me, Doctor, but I’m fine.” Stone crossed one leg over the other as he sat in the armchair, which was surprisingly comfortable for such an office. He’d expected something stupidly hard, but the whole office was nice. The occasional poster that said something along the lines of “you can do it!” or “you are the one thing you can control!” made Stone cringe, but that was it. The dark green of the wallpaper was comforting, and the furniture had a Victorian effect to each piece.

“Well, if that were true, you wouldn’t have been reccommended my services, would you, Agent?” The Doctor chuckled, clicking her pen and writing Stone’s name at the top of her notepad. “Your friends have been concerned for you recently. Your employees, too. I’m sure there’s something more to this than you’re letting on.”

“I get that, but it’s not the first time this has happened. I don’t need therapy. Time heals all, right?” Stone laughed, trying to lighten the mood, but Doctor Collins didn’t laugh with him. She just wrote something down on her notepad. He was used to such quick clap-backs from him, and even his friends had wit on their side, which made for some interesting repartee.

“Yes, many of my patients have thought that way. It’s never true. The human brain can have a way of tricking us, can’t it?”

Stone blinked a couple times in surprise. Her response wasn't witty or funny; it just made him want to sink into the armchair and disappear. This wasn’t what he was used to. “I suppose so.”

“Can you tell me what’s been going on within the last couple of months, then?”

Stone nodded. He went into a whole spiel about his coffee shoppe, how well it had been doing, the new hires, everything. He spoke of a few regulars, of the deputy that seemed to gravitate to the shoppe when he had free time, how lucky he was that the shopfront faced the west because he could always appreciate how beautiful the sunsets were, even the manager of the shoppe that called him on his shit when no one else did.

“And you’re feeling… better?”

“Better.” Stone muttered, tasting the word and its connotations. The puff of air that he let out with the first consonant, the opening of his mouth with the vowels, and the flick of the tongue that sat in the middle. He shrugged. “In theory.”

“In theory?”

“Yeah. I can appreciate the things in my life. And still, I think about the Doctor and my chest just sinks. I feel like there’s a hundred pound dumbbell on me, you know?” Stone rested a hand on his chest, finding it suddenly much harder to breathe. “I feel weighted.”

“Like there’s a dark cloud above you?”

“All around me. I’m breathing it in, and it’s not leaving when I breathe out. It’s terrible, Doctor. Shit, I can’t fucking…” Stone covered his face with both hands, sinking back into his chair.

Stone hated crying in front of people. He would rather be publically executed than cry in front of people, so when he felt his throat ache with a pent-up scream, he tried breathing.

Well, that’s not working.

He let out a pained noise, practically clawing at his chest to stop this. He wanted to rip out his lungs and stomp on them. 

Note to self: never return to therapy.

Stone managed to drive home without crashing into a pole and splitting his car in half. He felt thankful that no one parked in front of the shoppe, that way he could parallel park as shittily as he needed and no one could say a thing. 

When he entered the shop, he grabbed the broom and looked around at what might need cleaning. There was always something to be improved.

“I already swept the floor.”

Stone instinctively threw the broom at the voice, sighing in relief when he saw the manager he’d hired for the shoppe. “Genie, the hell are you still doing here?”

Genie rubbed her shoulder, where the broom had hit her. “First off, ouch, dude. Second, I'm closing up shop, taking inventory… all of that stuff. Wasn’t your appointment an hour long? It’s only seven-thirty.”

“I had to leave early. Things got a little too heated.”  

“You were in the goddamn US military, and a therapy session was too much for you?” Genie picked up the broom and spun it like a baton. “Honestly, real.”

“What’s real?”

“God, you’re old.”

Stone snorted. He walked behind the counter to fix himself an espresso. “I’m 42.”

“And fixing yourself an espresso at night. You are the pinnical of mental health.” Genie leaned on the broom. “You should knock it back like a shot.”

“I will not.”

“Oh, we’re low on decaf and out of goat milk,” Genie informed him. “I called our supplier and ordered another case of decaf and called Pappy from the ranch and managed to sweet talk him into sending some goat cheese for free with the milk.”

Stone frowned, sipping his espresso as daintily as a princess. He hated talking to Pappy, the man hated him, and seemed to enjoy rubbing his nose in the Robotnik situation. “How’d you manage that?”

“I told him I’d go on a date with his son.”

“That’ll do it.”

“Anyway,” Genie slung her bag over her shoulder, “I’m headed home. I’ve got opening shift, right?”

“Right. Take care.” Stone sighed. He used to get his milk imported from Austria, but budget cuts had to be made to accommodate the influx of customers within the past few months. Besides, now he didn’t have to serve people the same thing he used to serve Robotnik. Lessens the painful memories and helps keep all of the awful feelings buried.

Stone sat at his favorite table, staring out at the rising moon in its crescent phase. He watched the people pass through the street as the hustle and bustle died down. He hoped his espresso would kick in soon. He felt like dozing off. Typical for someone who hadn’t slept in three days.

He heard the bell ring at the front, and he forced himself to wake up. “We’re closed.”

“I don’t care. I’m thirsty and tired and need my latte. Chop chop!” Dr Robotnik tapped his foot on the ground.

Stone felt shock throughout his entire body, like a switch was flipped, and he ran to the counter to fix the latte. Everything felt normal again, the way things should be, regardless of how terrifyingly sudden. “We’re out of goats milk.”

“You might as well slap me in the face, goddammit.” He grumbled. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Sir.” Stone smiled, searching the fridge. 

Oh!

“I found an extra carton!” 

Robotnik let out a strong belly laugh. “Serendipity!” 

“Indeed it is, Doctor.” Stone poured some milk into a container and began steaming and frothing it. This is vague, totally not because the author has no idea how you steam milk and Google failed to offer them any coherent answers. “How did you find me?”

“I pay attention to you, Stone. I recall you having a lab of your own in this town.”

“I wouldn’t call it a lab. It’s more of a… well, fine, I suppose it can be used as a lab. Robotnik Manifesto and all that.” 

“Anything can be used as a lab if you don’t give a damn. And I believe I fall into that criteria.”

“Certainly.” Stone felt a giddy smile upon his face as he fixed the latte. “I missed you, Ivo.”

“I’m sure you did.” Ivo snatched the cup from him and took a sip, his face contorting with disgust and his throat contracting. “This is terrible! Tastes like spoiled milk!”

Stone felt that ache return to his chest. He’d checked the milk, hadn't he? It smelled fine, the date was fine, he was certain of it. Now he’d disappointed the Doctor, again. “That’s not possible.” He picked up the carton. It smelled foul now, unbelievably tepid, and he noticed the difference in date. 2/14/2020. Five years ago.

Shit.

“See, this is why I didn’t miss you, Stone!” Robotnik dropped the cup on the ground and stomped on it. “You could’ve killed me!” He grabbed Stone by the tie and pulled him across the counter, several decorative glass bottles falling to the ground with a shatter. “Perhaps if you’d have been smarter, I wouldn’t have spent so much time on the mushroom planet, or I wouldn’t have taken that fall.” He let go of Stone’s tie, the look in his eyes one of distaste. “Perhaps I wouldn’t have died in the explosion.”

“What?” Stone choked on his words like curdled milk, a hand going to his throat where his tie had tightened restrictively. This was all happening much too fast. One moment everything felt normal and happy, the next… a special hell made just for him. Too quick, too painful, and still not quick enough to make it bearable. “I didn’t… I tried! Every time, I tried to save you!”

“And you failed, Stone. You failed me!”

Chapter Text

“Stone?” Genie grabbed his shoulder and shook him awake.

“No!” Stone woke with a start, bracing himself on the table. He’d fallen asleep last night in that very spot, even with the espresso burning holes through his skin. He swallowed hard, rubbing a calloused hand over his face. “Genie, fuck. What are you doing here?”

“It’s six in the morning. We open in an hour. I came here to help you open.” Genie frowned, setting her coffee down. “Nightmares?”

“It doesn’t matter. You can take off today, I’m not opening the shop.”

“Woah. Okay. Is this about the therapy appointment?” Genie sat on top of the table. Normally, Stone would’ve pushed her off and told her how unsanitary it was to do so, how she might damage it, but he didn’t have the energy. “Because I swear it gets easier. Talking to people about how we hurt is hard. But you have to heal somehow, right?”

“I just don’t want to open the shop.”

“Aban.” Genie’s expression grew more serious. “I’ll handle everything. I’ll open the shop, I’ll handle the customers, I’ll handle goddamn Lukas with his stupid ass, and you’ll Google some self-care activities and do them in the safety of your apartment. That’s an order.”

“An order? I’m your boss!”

“And I’m your friend. Kind of. I care about you. You’re going to go upstairs and take a nice hot shower, then you’re going to wash your face, then you’re going to fold your laundry or something. This is going to be a journey, and I’m going to drag you along that road by your ear if I have to.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You’re not taking care of your mental health. Get more therapy, too. Now go.” Genie lifted him by the arm and pushed him to the stairs. “Go!”

Aban rolled his eyes. “Fine. But you’re not getting overtime for this!”

“Fine!”

He walked up the stairs and shut the door to his apartment, locking it. His room was fine, all things considered. It was cleaner now than it had ever been, and his clothes were all properly ironed and folded. No laundry piling up, never anything out of place. He could take a shower. He should take a shower, but he felt as if that would only hasten the rate at which these terrible thoughts hit him. No, he would turn on the television and drink the cold coffee at his bedside as he had always done to destroy any of the faintest possibilities that he could form a coherent thought.

Just as he chose a channel to settle on, he heard a knock and saw a note slipped under the door.

GO TAKE A SHOWER >:[ - Genie

Stone groaned. “Fine! You win!”

“Take care of yourself, dammit!” Genie shouted through the door.

“I hope you misspell a customer’s name today! Twice!”

“Fuck you!”

He simply couldn’t help but smile. This felt normal. Who knew his employee could annoy him out of depression?

Oh, right. Feelings.

Gross.

The shower sucked. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Ivo. He saw that smile that overtook his face right as the Eclipse Cannon exploded into a nebula of pure . It didn’t take long for him to rush out of the shower, put on his bathrobe, and lie down on his bed to watch The Devil Wears Prada.

He heard another knock at his door, huffing. “What, Imogen?”

“Wow, full government name. I see how it is,” Genie scoffed from the other side of the door. “I guess you don’t want this coffee I made you.”

Stone forced himself to get up, opening the door and grabbing the coffee from her hand. “Thanks, Genie. Is anyone else here yet?”

“Just Lucy. She’s cleaning out the grinder so we can throw Lukas into it later.”

“Shouldn’t I just fire him at this point?”

“He’d claim you’re being homophobic. I am under the assumption that people shouldn’t be able to say that if they’re annoying.”

Stone blinked a couple of times, processing that fact. “Does he know that most of the people who work here are queer?”

“I’d love to see the look on his face when he finds out. I am not a public person, but might buy a pan pride pin just to annoy him.”

“I might break out my pride gear too. Can you imagine? There’d be smoke coming out of his ears.”

Genie snickered. “Enjoy your coffee, Aban.”

“Thanks.” He shut the door and locked it again, sipping his coffee. Part of him wondered if Genie and Lucy would actually throw their coworker into the blender.

Oh, well. It happens.

“I didn’t think you’d be back this week,” Doctor Collins smiled, opening a portfolio and scribbling something down. “How are you, Aban?”

“Honestly?” Stone shrugged. “Could be better.”

“That’s normal. You’re still processing your grief, aren’t you? It’s a process, a journey.”

“So I’ve heard.” He rolled his eyes. “My manager, Genie, keeps telling me that. She told me that last week when she found me having a nightmare.”

“Are you fond of Genie?”

“Of course. She reminds me of an annoying little sister, kind of. She’s been forcing me to do self-care things.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Kind of. I just don’t have the energy most of the time. Plus, some of the self-care activities only make me feel worse.” Stone frowned, rolling one of those fidget rings back and forth in his fingers. “When the rest of the world is quiet, I can hear my thoughts like a cacophony.”

“That’s normal, I promise you that.” Doctor Collins assured him. “You said you’ve been having nightmares. Can you tell me about that?”

“If I must.” Stone shut his eyes and took a breath, steeling himself for what he had to divulge. Feelings were terrible, and expressing them? A death sentence, or so he wished.

“The nightmares started when Ivo died. They began as a sort of instant replay of what happened, how he died. The explosion. I kept reliving the moment, the way my body convulsed as I saw him smile for the last time.” He rubbed his eyes. “Then the nightmares were different. I started seeing him in everyday moments. Making his coffee, cleaning up his messes, anything. It would be normal, then he would speak to me. Tell me things no one wants to hear.”

“Such as?”

“That every time he was lost to me,” Stone muttered, “every time he was hurt, even the time he died, was a result of my failure. I failed him.” His voice broke. “I failed him, and I’ll never live that down.”

Doctor Collins scribbled something else down onto her notepad. “I see. You know that his death was out of your control, don’t you?”

“I told him not to go. I told him to stay with me, that I couldn’t lose him again…” Stone covered his eyes. He wanted to run away, to scream, to do anything but be here, but he could already hear Genie’s voice telling him that he needed this to feel better. Don’t you dare leave.

“This sort of loss can be hard on a person. Especially with unresolved feelings.”

“Unresolved… what are you insinuating? That I’m in love with the Doctor?”

“Well, I didn't say that, but I believe so. Those sessions last month made that abundantly clear.”

Stone furrowed his brow. How dare she see right through him like some sort of psychology expert? “They weren’t unresolved. They were complicated, that’s all.”

Doctor Collins cocked her head to the side. “Aban, didn’t you tell me that the Doctor often ridiculed you? How did that make you feel, exactly?”

“It didn’t bother me. In some strange way, it made me feel safer. He paid enough attention to me to see my mistakes and shortcomings.” Stone managed a smile. “He saw me. And he still kept me around, so… he appreciated me.”

Collins scribbled a lot of stuff down at unimaginable speeds. “I see…”

“And even after everything, he needed me as I needed him. I loved him, and… maybe he loved me.”

“I know yearning by her first name,” Stone muttered.

“Could you quit being poetic for five minutes?” Ivo rolled his eyes, nestled in Stone’s arms, the heat of his breath fanning out gently against the chest of his devotee. “I’d like to turn my genius brain off for just a moment.”

“A beautiful brain.”

“I’m aware, thank you very much.” Ivo shut his eyes. “I know yearning more than you do.”

“It’s not a competition.”

“Everything is a competition, Stone, and I am winning.”

Stone reveled in the feeling of Ivo in his arms. The feeling of warmth that made him feel loved. His heart tingled in a calm palpitation, both relaxed and exhilarated. He had never known peace like that which hung between them. He had never known war like the silence that hung in the air. He had never known conflict like how he knew something was wrong at that moment, how even in this deep moment, he felt hollow.

He knew this couldn’t be real.

“I wish you were here,” Stone whispered, wrapping his fingers tightly around Ivo’s shoulder as if trying to drag him into the waking world with him.

Ivo sighed. “As do I.”

“I love you.”

“And I you, sycophant.”

Somehow, out of all of those nightmares, the agonizing visions of Robotnik’s death, and the painful moments when he was told of his failures, this was the worst of them all. He saw what could’ve been.

What never could be.

Chapter Text

Standing behind the counter at the Mean Bean, Stone fixed up a latte for one of his clients. Today was a particularly good day. He felt… strangely happy. Strangely normal. Like everything in his pathetic life was coming together, if only for a morning. “What made you decide to get cinnamon in your coffee, Wade?” He quirked an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m not judging, obviously, but it’s not a choice I’ve seen you make.”

“People keep telling me to try new things, so I’m trying to!” Wade smiled, that goofy way he always did. He probably bought at least two coffees a day, seven days a week. He held up the shop in his own right, and during the slow season, he was the saving grace, buying enough for the rest of the station.

“You should try a blueberry muffin, then,” Genie offered, slipping her oven mitts on and removing a batch of muffins from the oven. “They’re so good. You’ll never guess the secret ingredient!” She leaned over. “It’s vanilla.”

“I love vanilla! Oh, I should get a few for Tom and Maddie, too. And Knuckles. And Sonic. And Tails.”

Stone rolled his eyes at the mention of the aliens. “So, six muffins?”

“Sure!” Wade leaned on the counter, placing his card on it. “So, summer’s coming soon. Are you gonna have any specials?”

“Of what sort?” Stone slid the latte across the counter like an exchange and began ringing him up.

“I dunno. Some cold stuff.”

“Oh!” Genie smiled, handing Wade the box of muffins. “Like the refreshers at Starbucks!”

“Starbucks can suck my coffee grounds,” Stone rolled his eyes again, with a light laugh.

“What better way to one-up them than making something better? We already have a cold brew, but can you imagine the younger crowd that would come in if you had something that didn’t taste like garbage water?” Genie tossed a huge bag of trail mix into the hands of a young woman who tossed her a rolled-up twenty. “My roommate makes a mean strawberry lemonade. That sounds like a good start.”

“Exactly!” Wade nodded, snapping on his helmet and grabbing his things before walking out the door. “Bye, guys!”

“Bye, Wade!” Genie smiled. She nudged her boss in the ribs with her elbow. “I see someone’s lightening up. Woke up on the right side of the bed?”

“The best side,” Stone nodded. “The sun is shining, the shop is thriving, and I’m feeling myself. I had myself a little Chappell Roan dance party this morning.” He grinned a toothy grin, the first of those that Genie had seen in a long time.

“Damn!” Genie laughed. “We’re moving up from sad gay to party gay; that’s a good sign!”

“Agreed. I think I’m finally feeling better. Even just a little. You were right, it’s a journey, and I think I’m out of the woods.”

“I’m proud of you, Aban. You’re doing amazing.”

“Thanks. I’m… starting to feel proud of myself, too.” He pushed her lightly. “And you, for putting up with me.”

“I’m sticking around as long as possible. Good luck getting rid of me.”

That made Stone’s heart warm. He hadn’t had a sister growing up, even though he’d always wanted one, so the dynamic he had with Genie felt like that. Like family. Sure, professionalism was important, but being around Genie was like being around family. Someone that annoys the hell out of you but still makes you feel safe and loved.

As Chappell Roan blasted in the background, Stone and Genie danced around the main room of the shop, sort of cleaning off the tables as they did. It felt awesome, making the letters with their arms before tossing rags to one another to clean with.

“Order up I’m hot! To! Go!” Genie used her spray bottle as a microphone before bursting into a fit of giggles. “I’m starting to remember why you’re fun to hang out with.”

“Oh, shut up.” Stone stuck his tongue out at her.

Genie grabbed her phone, wiping away tears of laughter. She checked a notification there with a deliberating gaze.

“What are you looking at?”

“A news headline. Have you heard about the robots rebuilding Tokyo?”

With knitted eyebrows, Stone shook his head. “No. What do you mean?”

“The whole alien hedgehog incident that damn near destroyed Tokyo? There are these weird, ovular robots rebuilding the city. Look.” She held up her phone in his direction, and he saw it.

An image of one of his Doctor’s Badniks with modifications of all sorts on them. That machinery, that beauty, only could’ve been made by Robotnik. A headline laid above it.

MAD SCIENCE USED FOR GOOD IN TOKYO: HOW ONE MAN’S SACRIFICE HELPED REBUILD JAPAN’S CAPITOL

Stone swallowed hard, that perfectly good day suddenly shattering all at once. “Do you know who that is, Genie? The man who…” He found his voice shaking, so much that he thought he might cry.

Genie shut her phone off in an instant. “I dunno. Something like Robotic.”

“Robotnik. Doctor Robotnik.” Stone sat down, shuddering with grief that had reared its ugly head at him all too quickly. “I used to work for him. I still do, technically. Since he died before I could resign.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. Do you know how I’ve been grieving? Going to therapy, all of that?”

“Of course.”

“It’s for him. I lost him in the Eclipse Cannon explosion.”

Genie was muzzled by the realization. She had seen videos of Robotnik’s death, muted by the government or some stupid shit. Even she had noticed the tender smile that he offered as the explosion happened. “Wait just a damn minute. Him? You, Aban, the gentle, kind man who can do absolutely no wrong under any circumstances, worked for that guy? The supervillain?!”

“I can certainly do wrong.”

“Shut up. You’re kidding.”

“Not at all.”

Genie opened her phone again and skimmed the article, her face going pale. “You said he died in the explosion, right?”

Stone nodded.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s true.” She pulled up an image of Robotnik working on his Badniks with some Japanese engineers and… the goddamn Hot Topic wannabe hedgehog.

Stone wanted to throw up. He wanted to scream, he wanted to vomit, he wanted to cry, anything. But for a moment, his whole being was still.

His doctor was alive.

Chapter Text

“Aban?” Genie frowned, that look of pure innocence to the situation clear as day on her face. She had no idea how much he ached at the news of Robotnik’s survival. She didn’t know anything about that part of his life. Honestly, he did like it when someone looked at him and didn’t see his shitty decisions. Anyone would, but he had done what was right by telling her. At least someone other than Doctor Collins knew now.

“It hurts, Genie,” Stone rubbed his face with a heavy heart and aching chest. “I thought he was gone. I mourned him. I managed to overcome it, even just a little bit, and now he’s back. He’s alive.”

Genie felt like she was choking. As much as she knew it hurt him, she felt like shit for not knowing how to fix it. Sure, fine, he’d been suffering, but it was all as constant as a river. Now, it came at her fast, and she had no idea how to fix him. “Oh my god. Aban, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I shouldn’t have shown you.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Do you want to look for him?”

“Yes,” Stone said almost instantly, standing up and pressing a code into a safe. The blinds shut, the room went dark, and computer screens lit up on the walls with a blue and red glow. As he slipped a pair of gloves on and started typing away at the screen, Genie just stood there in awe and confusion.

“What the fuck?!” She exclaimed. “That’s been here this whole time?! That’s the coolest shit I have ever seen!! Why didn’t you show me?”

“It was of no use to either of us,” Stone muttered. He typed away, quicker than she’d ever seen him, and with a few movements of his hand, two Badniks sprouted from a trapdoor on the floor.

One of them scanned Genie with its large red eye, causing her to flinch and wonder if it was going to eviscerate her on sight. The Badnik whirred and spoke in a robotic voice, “Human female, 5”9, 175 pounds. Blood pressure 125/90, BPM 112, 96°F.”

“What the fuck is that thing?!” Genie frowned.

“One of the Doctor’s creations.”

“How did it read me that quickly?”

“The work of a genius.”

Genie squinted, putting the pieces together in her mind. The Robotnik memorabilia everywhere, the obsession with finding him when they'd first met, the way even a mention of the lunatic made Aban want to projectile vomit. “Ohhh…” she muttered.

Stone gave her a backward glance. “I’m having trouble tracing his whereabouts. Usually, I’d be able to track one of his gadgets, but they’re just… everywhere.”

“Oh.” Genie leaned forward against the counter, examining the screens before hearing a knock at the door and groaning. “We’re closed! Come back tomorrow!”

“I can’t just come back tomorrow, you muffin muncher, it’s urgent!” A gruff voice shouted from the outside.

Stone’s expression went haywire. He frowned and smiled at the same time, somehow. He felt like vomiting and jumping for joy. The man contains multitudes. He ran over to the door, and as his hand touched the knob, he hesitated. He ran back to the counter and grabbed the goat’s milk from the fridge-regular, Green Hills goat’s milk, but it’d have to do-steaming it. “One moment!”

Genie peeked through the blinds, yelping in surprise. “Oh, what the fuck?”

“What?”

“He’s got a wilty mustache… from the rain, I’d figure.”

“What in blazes is going on in there, Stone?!” The Doctor shouted from outside the door. “I’m getting soaked.”

Genie opened the door and grabbed a blanket from one of the aesthetically pleasing shelves. She wrapped it around the Doctor, patting him on the shoulder. “How long have you been out in the rain, sir?”

“Hours. Searching on foot.” He spat. “I’m just glad that little watch still works properly, or I’d have had no idea where you were, Agent Stone.”

Stone seemed like he was suffocating, his trembling hands fixing a latte and occasionally pinching himself to make sure he didn't have to suffer through another dream. “Hello, Doctor,” he breathed, struggling to get the lid on the cup.

Genie rushed to him and helped his shaking hands. “Breathe, Aban. It’s going to be okay. Do you want me to stay or go?”

He shook his head. “Stay. Just… for moral support, you know?”

“Okay.” She smiled. “Don’t suffocate. You’re doing something incredibly difficult, and you’re still managing. You got this.”

He nodded, then slowly walked toward Robotnik. He was soaked and shivered from the rain, that familiar glint in his eye. Even as he stood there for the first time in far too long, Stone felt colder than the pouring rain outside his window.

“Doctor.”

“Stone.”

Nothing had made him feel more like a hare racing from a hunter than his heart was racing from the agony that threatened to consume it. All that grief, all that anguish…

He extended his arm towards Robotnik, offering the latte in his hand. He wanted to throw up, to cry, to smile, to laugh, anything. But he couldn’t do anything but stand there with muscles shaking and a heart close to atrophy feeling the sensation of a gentle, dying Pragma being resuscitated with the strike of a match. He felt like his bones were filled with gunpowder, and that fire would bring him to an explosion.

Robotnik took a sip of the latte. Aban feared that he would spit it out like in that nightmare, but he just smiled. The Doctor smiled. Oh god. “I missed that. There’s something different about it, but it’s better than what they had back in Tokyo.”

Stone’s lower lip trembled. He looked back at Genie for moral support, who nodded encouragingly, unsure if she should come any closer to what explosive exchange was happening between the two men. “Why… didn’t you come back for me?”

“Tokyo is a long way. I tried, I did.”

“You abandoned me.”

“Abandoned you? I saved you!”

“I mourned you, grieved you, cried for you, I died for you, and you just… left.”

Robotnik took a step closer, leaving the latte on a table beside him. “That was my penance. Do you think I wanted that, Stone? You think I wanted to be so far away from you?”

“I think you let me crumble into sand because you were too selfish to give me a call or try and contact me!” Stone’s vision blurred with unshed tears, his voice raising and breaking. “I was loyal to you, Ivo! I was all yours, unendingly and unequivocally yours, and you just left me! I waited every day for a month for you to walk through that door and tell me you wanted me, tell me you were sorry for leaving for a family that had never been there for you! I waited for a month before I realized that I am no family, no husband, no one you could ever want! I am nothing!”

“Stone-”

“I begged you to stay! I told you Gerald was trouble, and you didn’t listen! I told you I couldn’t lose you, and you didn’t listen! I destroyed myself for you!” Stone sobbed, choking on his icy contempt and burning love. “Finally, after a month, I realized you weren’t coming back to me! I tried letting go, but I can’t… oh my fucking god, it hurts! You hurt me!”

Genie quickly showed up at his side with a box of tissues and a shoulder to cry on. “Oh, Aban, it’s okay. It’s okay. Breathe.” She brought him in for a hug, glaring at Robotnik.

For the first time, there was a sharp pang of remorse in Ivo’s chest, like a knife that tore through his sallow flesh, shattered his ribs, and punctured his heart. He’d hurt Stone. His Stone. To see another person comforting him for something he had done? That hurt like hell. He reached out, seemingly scared that Genie might bite him if he got too close.

“Aban,” Ivo whispered, forcing out four words he'd never said to anyone in his life. “I am so sorry. I didn’t think it hurt you this badly, and… well, you know I’m not that great with feelings. I need you to hear me out.”

Stone hesitated, pulling back from his friend. “Can you give us a minute?”

“No, I am not leaving you,” Genie whispered back.

“Please. I need to figure this out on my own. I’ll text you if I need you, okay? I’ll be fine.” Stone smiled.

After a long moment of hesitation, Genie finally nodded, pulling him back in for a final hug before leaving the shop.

Robotnik extended his hand, a shock running through his body when Stone took it. “Shadow was able to save me at the last moment before the Eclipse Canon blew up. He teleported us out of there, and aimlessly, we ended up back in Tokyo.” He squeezed Stone’s trembling hand. “Needless to say, they recognized us. Me, from my live stream and tech. Shadow, from him destroying half of the city. They demanded that we fix things up.”

“So?”

“So, we did. Neither of us were allowed to leave. Given our checkered history, none of us were allowed to contact anyone. I could’ve had you come get me at any time, you would’ve listened, and they knew that. If they wanted their city un-fucked, they needed me. They needed leverage.” Ivo frowned. “I don’t think I realized until then just how terrible it felt to be away from you. There were so many people around me, and none of them were you.”

Stone felt his heart clench. “Terrible?”

“Terrible.” He nodded. “Do you yearn, Aban?”

“More than anyone.”

“I’m glad I’m not alone in that.”

For a moment, they just stood there, memorizing the parts of each other that they’d forgotten about. Each wrinkle, each dip, each blemish that covered their faces, memorizing it all. The way time had worn away at Ivo's furrowed brow, the way that grief had weathered Stone's gentle eyes.

“I loved you,” Aban whispered. “I always have, always will.”

Robotnik cocked his head to the side, feeling a strange and fluttery sensation in his chest. “I don’t know how to love, Stone. I never had anyone to teach me.”

“Luckily for you, I consider myself a good teacher,” Aban chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes and holding both of his hands tightly. He wanted to kiss him. God, he wanted to kiss him so badly.

Ivo smiled. It was a gentle smile, one that was rare to touch his lips. “Could you show me now, then?”

Oh, you didn’t have to ask twice.

Aban leaned forward and kissed him, and he found that it was rather reckless to be kissing such a man while still standing upright. His knees felt weak, his body felt a chill, and he nearly fell over. US military training be damned, there was nothing in the world that could have protected him from how this felt. Fervid, gentle, agonizingly beautiful in a disarming way.

Ivo grabbed tightly onto him and breathed life into his lungs with the quiet sob that left him. He hadn’t felt a lot of love in his life, but the way that Stone kissed him made him certain that this was what he was meant to feel. This was true purpose.

They pulled back from one another, foreheads touching, both letting out quiet sobs and laughter.

“I love you, Doctor,” Stone smiled, wiping away a tear from Ivo’s face.

“I believe I might love you too, Stone.” Ivo pressed his face into his hand. He knew comfort better than any other now.

Chapter Text

Integrating Ivo back into society was harder than anticipated. 

The government had wiped any trace of his existence the first time he disappeared, and there was no effort back then to rebuild anything about his identity in the public eye. His birth certificate and all other such documents had been burned, any information across the internet destroyed aside from some news articles and muted YouTube videos.

To be clear, forging important documents was not exactly a difficult task, especially not for Stone, but everything else was ridiculously annoying at best. Trying to get the town sheriff to trust the very man who had targeted his family several times seemed to yield no results, and there might have been more surveillance cameras around the Mean Bean's perimeter than before. 

The kiss seemed to be a one-off, as was the confession of love. They didn't mention it, didn't repeat it, as if it never happened at all. Regarding any other pairing, this could've been seen as unintentional, but with Robotnik, nothing ever was. 

There was a hypothesis on the matter: Ivo reasoned that whatever he'd dared to say, dared to do, happened because his mind was clouded. He couldn't think properly. He was wet and cold and he felt incredibly jet lagged. It wasn't smart to jump directly into an emotional relationship after all he'd done, and he was nothing if not intelligent. 

Rather uncharacteristically, the Doctor avoided Stone. He'd elected to accept Genie's offer to crash on her couch, which she had stressed was her roommate Olive's idea. 

Ivo practically melted off the sofa that morning, falling onto the hardwood floors with a heavy da-DUNK! sound. He'd barely noticed he was on the ground until Olive knelt down beside him.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her fiery red hair practically a rat's nest so early in the morning. 

"Mphhh, yes, I'm fine," Ivo replied, his voice muffled through the rough throw pillow that had come down with him. 

Olive looked over at Genie, who was sitting comfortably in an adjacent armchair sipping her morning coffee. "What am I supposed to do with…?"

"Let him lay there for a minute. He'll get up off my floor eventually if he knows what's good for him." Genie tossed the rolled-up wrapper from her morning muffin into the trash can from across the room. 

Ivo begrudgingly sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Olive, run down to the Mean Bean and pick me up a latte. You know how I like it."

"I've done that for you every morning. Don't you think you should, I dunno, do it yourself?"

"He's scared of Aban. That's why he keeps sending one of us." Genie got up from her seat, walking over to the kitchen and almost stepping on the Doctor's head in the process. "Dude, you need to grow a pair. So you kissed the guy, big deal."

"He did what?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ivo sat back up on the sofa, staring out of the window at the coffee shop across the street. "Agent Stone and I have simply no practical reason to see one another at the moment."

"You would if you got the fuck out of my apartment for five minutes," Genie grumbled. "If you're looking for an excuse to see him, just go get your own stupid coffee, man. This is getting pathetic."

"I don't need to be taking advice from someone who never so much as high-fived a man, m'kay?"

"You don't know what I get. Besides, if I have to see Aban in his pitiful era any longer, I will be beating your ass. Which wouldn't be that hard, by the way. You're, like, 80."

"62."

"And you look like you just walked out of Loony Toons. Get a grip."

Ivo wanted to clap back with something clever, but he found that he didn't have the energy to care about this stupid argument anymore. He'd never admit it out loud, but Genie might have a point. Key word being might. Still, there was something wildly unsettling about the prospect of looking Stone in the eye after last time. He'd poured his heart out to him while the chemicals in his brain were swimming laps around any rational thought. He'd touched him, he'd even taken him to bed. 

It was a freak accident, Ivo had reasoned. A fluke born of oxytocin, dopamine, and pure foolishness. How else could he have enjoyed it? He felt like he needed to burn his clothes if someone even brushed by him too close, yet being inside this other man felt right. It made no sense at all, how being closer to Stone than he'd ever been with anyone else felt beautiful. It also made no sense why he wanted this sort of thing to happen again. He had dreams about it and woke up feeling something other than gross. It was ridiculous. 

So without a word to Genie about her correctness (because the look on her smug face would make him want to nuke Chicago,) Ivo slipped on a turtleneck and some dress pants, walking down the stairs and across the street to the Mean Bean with a shake in his hands that he couldn't quite define. 

When the bell above the door jingled with his entry, he felt the gazes of every patron on him, which had never bothered him before and would never bother him in his entire life. It was when he felt Stone's eyes settle upon him like falling Autumn leaves that he felt a pit in his stomach. Stone had one of his delicate hands inside a mug, wiping it clean with a grey cloth, but they stilled instantly. 

"Doctor," He uttered, setting the mug down with a soft clink that seemed more clumsy than was characteristic for him. He reached for the espresso machine, pressing a few buttons with those same delicate, shaking hands. "I didn't think you'd come. I'll prepare your latte."

Ivo leaned against the counter top, letting out a shuddering exhale. He always knew what to say, but in this moment, he felt like someone had taken every word from his extensive vocabulary but one. "Stone." When the hot latte was set in front of him and he saw the art drawn into the foam, he felt his heart race. 

"How are you feeling? Settling in okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Thank you. And you?"

"The same. Have you been getting along with Genie and Olive?"

"Olive is nice. But I would very much like to light Genie on fire."

"I expected as much. She can be very critical." Stone laughed, though the humor within it left something to be desired. His eyes drifted over Ivo with a gaze that seemed almost reverent. "Will you be sticking around?

Ivo gave a curt nod. "I suppose so."

"Good. There's a lot to catch up on."

"We had decent catching-up time two weeks ago."

"There wasn't a lot of talking involved, if you'll recall." Stone crossed his arms and looked at the Doctor with one of the most incredulous expressions he'd seen in his life that hadn't come from his own reflection. "Please, Doctor. It'll do us some good to gain clarity." He tossed his towel to one of his employees before coming out from behind the counter and removing his apron. "Come upstairs with me." 

Ascending the stairs again sent a river of memories flooding through Ivo's usually pristine mind. That door had muffled the sounds of their collective pleasure the last time they'd seen one another, and past it, that bed that had harbored him like a ship in a storm, rocking from the sheer force of their lust. 

The event was a reminder of Ivo Robotnik's remaining humanity. He had thought he was above such base instincts, such purely physical and hardly logical needs. He had also thought he was never wrong. You'll never guess what the fuck was happening at this very moment, though.

"—so I think we need to sort this out before it does any real damage." Oh. Fuck. Stone had been talking. Right.

"What?" Ivo muttered, now sitting on the left corner of Stone's bed while the other man sat at the right. He didn't trust himself to get any closer. His theory of their sexual encounter being a fluke, induced by various outside factors, had been debunked. He wasn't cold or wet anymore, (at least not from the rain,) and he still wanted Stone to pounce on him and rip his clothes off with his teeth. Son of a bitch.

"I was saying that we need to sort this out. You're sleeping on my friend's couch. I want to be able to help you beyond that, but I can't if you won't let me in." Stone's hand reached out for Ivo's, but hesitated just an inch away and ultimately pulled back. "I want to go back to normal. Back to what normal was before Gerald, before those multicolored vermin, before everything. I need you to help me do that."

Ivo bit his tongue before he said anything that would dig him into a deeper hole. The idea of returning to normal and getting off of Genie's couch sounded amazing, but what the hell was he supposed to do? Admit he wanted him? Admit he felt something he couldn't quite define? Fuck no. Absolutely not.

"I've got things to do, Stone. I should get going."

Before he could even reach the door, Stone stepped in front of him, stopping him in his tracks. "Doctor, please."

He pushed past him, into the hallway.

"Ivo!"

He froze.

"You can't keep running away from me. Please. I don't want you to leave."

But he ran, and he ran quick, until the shop was far enough behind him and the Northwest air tried dragging him back with each stride that came from his battered body, until he collapsed with his back against a red oak—he was allergic to the damn thing, but with his chest heaving from overexertion, he figured a scratchy throat and runny nose didn't truly matter.

He'd just run from the only person in the world who gave a damn about him. That's all he knew how to do. Run as fast as he could, far away from anything real. Stone loved him, so much that he could look at him without seeing at least twelve things he hated. He stayed with him through hell and high water, broken bones, interplanetary exiles, HR debacles. Nothing could drive him away.

So why did he want to drive him away so badly?