Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Here. For you.”

Hajime raised his head to stare at Natsumi, surprised to find her standing at his desk so soon after morning classes had just ended. He hadn’t even had the time to put his notebook away. He blinked at her, then at the small package she was offhandedly handing him; a simple box of store-bought chocolates.

Her attempt at a casual attitude fell apart when Hajime stayed quiet, her brows knitting together as she quickly lost patience. “Just… take it! And don’t think I’m giving you this for free, I expect some good chocolates for White Day.” She dropped the box on his desk and crossed her arms, trying to keep up the cool act despite the growing blush on her cheeks.

Hajime huffed a laugh at his friend’s antics, an easy smile spreading on his face. He was touched by the gesture, especially since he hadn’t expected it—Natsumi wasn’t the type of person to give gifts to people, so that meant a lot to him.

“Sure,” he said, grinning. “And thanks, I love that brand.”

“Stop looking at me like that! Tch, you better buy me some quality stuff…”

Hajime couldn’t bring himself to feel bad about the chuckle he let out at Natsumi’s embarrassment. After she’d spent the last few days making fun of him, it was only fair. Her special kind of tough love had been helpful though. Somewhat. He’d make sure to give her some good chocolates next month.

Teasing her was fun, but Hajime was sincerely thankful for the chocolates, especially when he knew she wasn’t the type of person to take things like this lightly. He’d heard her rants about obligatory chocolates being an outdated and stupid practice and how she’d never lower herself to do something like this for people she didn’t give two shits about.

“Did you give some to your brother as well?” he asked.

Her blush darkened as she glared at him. “What do you think?” she snapped, and her defensive attitude made him let out another snort. “Dumbass…”

Despite his amusement, Hajime couldn’t help feeling slightly embarrassed about the whole thing as he carefully put the box in his bag—even knowing it was friendship chocolates, it didn’t change the fact that a girl had just gifted him chocolates on Valentine’s Day.

It wasn’t something he was used to; he wasn’t exactly popular. Other students rarely approached him, and even less so girls. On the rare occasions he’d ever received chocolates before coming to Hope’s Peak, it had been obligatory chocolates from classmates, or from the old lady living next to his family’s apartment. At least he was pretty sure it had been obligatory chocolates. He wasn’t good with that kind of thing.

He finished packing his stuff—carefully, making sure not to damage the different boxes in his bag—while Natsumi urged him to go faster.

“So, didja get a lot of chocolate today?” Natsumi asked, munching on some candies from the pretty pink package she was holding.

“Not really… I did get more than usual, I guess.” Which wasn’t hard, as he usually didn’t get any. “Goshima gave me some chocolates too, to thank me for my hard work on the project we did together last month,” he said with an embarrassed smile. He’d been surprised to see his classmate gift him store-bought chocolates, especially when he didn’t have the best reputation among the Reserve Course. He hadn’t really known how to respond, but he hoped his thanks had seemed sincere and not too awkward.

Natsumi hummed before popping another piece of candy in her mouth. “You sure about that?”

“About what?”

“You sure it was girichoco?” She raised an eyebrow at him. “A confession could fucking punch you in the face and you wouldn’t even realize.”

Heat rushed to his face. “I’m not that dense.”

“Right.”

“Whatever…” he muttered, and in a pathetic attempt to change the subject, he asked, “Where did you get those candies anyway?”

“Um? Some girl gave them to me. They’re pretty good.” She pressed the box to her chest. “I’m not sharing by the way.”

He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t even say anything.”

“Just makin’ sure.”  

They exited the classroom and made their way through the crowded hallway but had to pause because of a group of students blocking the way.

“Oi, fucking move!” Natsumi yelled.

A couple of girls quickly moved out of the way to let her pass, but Hajime stayed where he was, curious about what everybody was watching so intensely. The group of students had their noses practically pressed to the window to catch a glimpse of what looked like the middle of a love confession; a girl was bowing and handing a heart-shaped box to a guy from Hajime’s class. Straight out of a shoujo manga.

Despite the secondhand embarrassment that gave him, Hajime was a bit impressed. He would never have the confidence to do something like this. Confessing to someone in front of the entire school… he imagined himself as a cliché and lovestruck fool waiting at the school gate with a rose and chocolates in hand. It was incredibly embarrassing but… he had to admit a part of him didn’t dislike the idea.

…What was he even thinking? He’d probably die of embarrassment if he ever did something corny like this. Not that he’d ever have the guts to.

Natsumi’s scoff brought him out of his thoughts.

“How embarrassing,” she said, looking dismissively at the couple outside, “the whole thing is bullshit anyway.”

“Yeah but… I’d never have the confidence to do something like that. I think it’s pretty cool.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d say that.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He winced at how defensive he sounded.

“That you’re a sap. You love that corny shit, don’t you?” Before Hajime could refute her words, she added, “Don’t lie to me” Her cold stare shut him right up, sending a chill down his spine. He swallowed and averted his eyes as Natsumi let out a mocking snort. “I’m not spending any money on any of those reserve leeches. Most of them wouldn’t even give anything back on White Day. Tch. Bunch of fuckers.”

Sometimes he forgot how scary she could be. He’d never had the best survival instincts however, so he deemed it a good idea to let out an awkward laugh and say, “You’re starting to sound like you’re bitter about being single.”

Natsumi stopped in the middle of the hallway and spun around to glare at him, her face red. He wasn’t sure if it was anger or embarrassment. “Shut the fuck up! See this?” she snapped, pushing the candies in his face. “This is only one of the many gifts I got today. So don’t project your loser energy on me, got it? And I don’t want to hear anything from you when you spent the night making stupid chocolates for your creepy ass boyfriend.”

“N–Natsumi—!” A horrified noise got caught in his throat as he blushed furiously and looked around to make sure no one was listening to them. “I should have never told you…” he grumbled, rearranging the handles of his bag on his shoulder, its content suddenly heavier than it had been a moment before.

“You can’t hide anything from me.” She smirked at him. “So, when are you gonna give it to him?”

“I–I don’t know… After school, I guess? Nanami asked me to join her class for lunch to celebrate Valentine’s Day with them, so… she said you’re welcome to come, by the way.”

Natsumi tsked. “No way, I’m not going anywhere near this bit—” She stopped when she noticed Hajime’s glare and rolled her eyes, “…Near Koizumi.”

“The girls made chocolates for everyone. You’re gonna miss out.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

Hajime shrugged. “Your loss.”

Concepts like Valentine’s Day and White Day might have been capitalist daydreams—outdated events pushed by confectionary brands that pressured people into buying overpriced chocolates because of dumb social conventions—Hajime had always secretly thought the whole thing was pretty sweet and romantic.

He remembered a younger version of himself daydreaming about a nice and pretty girl offering him homemade chocolates, and maybe if he was lucky, a confession. He got embarrassed whenever he thought back on those silly and childish memories, but maybe Natsumi’s accusations weren’t completely wrong—the carefully wrapped box he’d prepared for today and stressed over for the past week might be proof of that. (He’d at least abandoned the delusional idea of putting the chocolates in a heart-shaped box. The corniness and humiliation might have actually killed him.)

He’d been feeling on edge all morning, constantly glancing at the clock instead of paying attention in class, unsure whether time was passing too fast or too slowly. His mind kept coming up with different scenarios about how this day might end. Trying to speculate about what might happen wouldn’t do him any good, but he could clearly see it; lying in bed and staring at the wall for hours while pretending he wasn’t lamenting in misery.

Or, on the other hand…

Yeah, better not think too much about it. Even just picturing the possibility was enough to make him erupt in a full-body blush.

So many things could go wrong. What if he somehow fucked up and failed to make Komaeda understand what his gift meant?

…Who was he kidding. A guy giving chocolates to another guy on Valentine’s Day sent a pretty damn clear message. There was no way to misunderstand something like this.

What if Komaeda got upset or offended? Hajime liked to give him small gifts here and there, so he was pretty used to Komaeda’s reactions by now. He was usually happy and grateful, maybe a bit too enthusiastic—Hajime found it extremely cute—but he remembered that time he had the misfortune of offering Komaeda that weird spectre ring, and… Komaeda hadn’t been rude about it per se but… yeah. He definitely hadn’t liked it. No one had mastered the art of passive-aggressiveness quite like Nagito Komaeda.

Hajime was quickly brought back to the present when he heard someone call his name. Too lost in thought, he’d made it to the gate of the Main Course building without realizing it, where Mioda was waving at him enthusiastically and calling out to him.

“Hajime-chan! Ibuki’s been waiting for you!” She grinned at him.

He smiled at her, a bit surprised but happy to see her nonetheless—Nanami was usually the one to get him when he’d visit their classroom. Which didn’t happen often, despite Yukizome’s reassurances that it was alright if he wished to drop by from time to time, and that this asshole Sakakura wouldn’t cause him any problem.

Hajime didn’t like to take advantage of this privilege too often, preferring to hang out with his friends in the few shared areas on campus or outside of school. Partly because he didn’t want to prove right the reserve students accusing him of getting special treatment, but also because standing in the Main Course building and witnessing the Ultimates and their top-notch facilities was a harsh reminder of the unattainable dream he’d never get to experience fully.

(Of course, he refused to unpack any of that and preferred to tell himself he was simply jealous of the superior equipment Main Course students had access to.)

“If you’re wondering why Ibuki’s escorting you today, that’s because Chiaki-chan didn’t come to class this morning,” Mioda informed him. Before Hajime could start to worry, she added, “She’s alright! Chiaki-chan let us know she’ll be there soon, Hajime-chan doesn’t need to worry. Oh, and she’s the one who kept your chocolates, so you’re gonna have to wait a bit!”

Thanks to Nanami, he knew that the girls all gathered yesterday at Sonia’s giant mansion to prepare chocolates for everyone in their class (including Yukizome-sensei). Hajime couldn’t hold in a smile, a pleasant sensation warming his chest when he remembered how they all insisted on including him in the celebrations.

“That’s alright,” he told her as they entered the school. “It’s unusual for Nanami to miss school though… Maybe she fell asleep too late.” He frowned, wondering why she hadn’t texted him about it.

“Yep!” Mioda’s energetic yell interrupted his rumination. “Yeah, totally! She was just playing games! Alone!”

Hajime eyed her suspiciously. Mioda was always… strange, and intense, but her reaction was even weirder than usual, which made him raise an eyebrow. Then, she stopped in the middle of the hallway and glanced around with exaggerated movements, probably to make sure they were truly alone. She looked back at Hajime and cupped a hand to her mouth.

“So, are you actually going to do it, Hajime-chan?” she asked in a loud whisper.

“Uh… do what?”

“You know!” she insisted, still trying and failing to speak in a hushed tone. “Confess!”

Hajime’s eyes widened as heat rushed to his face. “How—!”

“Sorry, Ibuki overheard you and Chiaki-chan talk about it, hehe…” she admitted. She at least had the decency to look apologetic, pushing the tips of her fingers together. “It’s not Ibuki’s fault her hearing’s so good!”

They’d reached the classroom, and Mioda didn’t leave him the opportunity the respond before she opened the door and continued, “Ibuki miiiight have talked about it to a friend or two… Please don’t be mad at Ibuki!” she begged, increasing Hajime’s panic.

“What—!”

But Mioda had already pushed him into the classroom and was now tugging at his sleeve to guide him toward her desk. She was saying something about the weird chocolates she’d made that he apparently needed to try, but Hajime was too busy freaking out to fully pay attention.

“M–Mioda—"

His eyes scanned over the room as he tried to appear less panicked than he felt. He saw the guys all gathered around Kuzuryu’s desk, some of them eating chocolates from small and neatly wrapped packages he assumed were gifts from the girls. With Mioda still tugging on his arm, Hajime barely got the chance to say hello to them and only managed to offer a small wave before getting an enthusiastic “Hey, soulbro!” from Souda.

Mioda led him to her desk, where all the girls except Nanami were present, giggling and acting more excited than usual and being very… girly.

“Ah, Hinata-san, hello!” told him Sonia.

“Hey everyone, thanks for inviting me,” he replied with a small smile, still feeling anxious about what Mioda had just dropped on him.

“Of course! You know it wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t here with us.”

Seeing everyone nod and agree with Sonia’s words made Hajime forget about his nervousness for a second. His cheeks and chest warmed up with happiness.

Hajime tried to throw another discreet glance across the room and heard someone chuckling as Koizumi let out a sigh. “If you’re looking for Komaeda, he’s not here,” Koizumi told him. “He didn’t come to class this morning, but Chiaki-chan told us he’d be there soon.”

He couldn’t tell whether he was relieved or disappointed.

“Huh…”

The girls—except Saionji and Owari, who were too focused on the sweets they were munching on—were staring at him, with various degrees of excitement and interest on their faces. After a moment of confusion, Hajime realized that ‘a friend or two’ actually meant ‘all of the girls from class 77-B’. Oh god. A rush of heat erupted on his face.

Not caring or paying any attention to his internal turmoil, Koizumi kept going, “Missing class because of something like this, how irresponsible. He even had to bring Chiaki-chan into this.” She shook her head. “Men really can’t do anything on their own,” she sighed, glaring at Hajime as if he was the one at fault.

“I… um.” His head snapped toward Mioda, but she blatantly averted her eyes and started whistling. “M–Mioda!” he cried, sounding more desperate than angry.

“Hey, don’t snap at her like that!”

“Hehe, sorry Hajime-chan,” Mioda said, an apologetic smile on her face.

His only saving grace was that Saionji was too busy eating chocolate to pay attention to whatever was happening here.

“Ah, please forgive us for gossiping behind your back Hinata-san!” Sonia said. “That was extremely rude… But please know that we’re all rooting for you!” She smiled at him and flexed her arm in a way he assumed was supposed to be motivating.

Hajime’s blush worsened, but he relaxed a little at the sight of everyone’s sincere and encouraging expressions. “I–It’s okay,” he assured with a shaky smile. “Um, thanks.”

“You can’t chicken out, by the way,” Mioda told him, looking like she was already over feeling guilty for blabbing to everyone. He sighed internally; he could never stay mad at her. “Ibuki’s getting reeeal tired of this ‘we’re just friends’ bs, yunno?” Hajime spluttered as she shot him finger guns. “Look at Ibuki! She didn’t hesitate to serenade Mikan-chan this morning.” Tsumiki let out a high-pitched sound and started squirming. “It was suuuper romantic, right Mikan-chan?” Mioda asked with a wink.

Hajime felt a bit bad about it, but he was relieved to let the focus shift to Tsumiki for a moment. He almost expected Tsumiki to shrink on herself, but the only proof of her embarrassment was her blush as she nodded assuredly. The sight made him smile—she’d really grown more confident in herself those last couple of years.

“It–It was…” Tsumiki agreed in a small voice, a happy laugh escaping her lips as she put a strand of hair behind her ears, bashful but cheerful.

Hajime’s moment of respite was short-lived, however.

Pekoyama, who’d silently observed everything until now, nodded. “Mioda’s right. There comes a time when you must do what needs to be done.”

“Um. Yeah, that’s… that’s true,” Hajime said and unwillingly let out a nervous chuckle.

She crossed her arms before continuing, and Hajime was shocked to see the slightest dust of pink on her cheeks. “We cannot escape our responsibilities forever. I… will have to face the same type of adversity today.”

“Oh.” Hajime paused, then glanced at Kuzuryu who immediately whipped his head around and pretended he hadn’t just been watching them. Hajime chuckled, hoping that he was more discreet when dealing with criminals or whatever it was the yakuza did.

Hajime turned back toward Pekoyama, his smile more sincere this time. “You’re right. And I’m rooting for you too.”

Pekoyama’s face relaxed, which he took as a victory, but she got interrupted before she could reply.

“Eeeeh, so it’s true? Big bro Hinata’s really into that hope-obsessed freak?”

“Hiyoko-chan!”

Saionji, who’d unfortunately abandoned her chocolates long enough to ridicule him, pouted at Koizumi. “What? As if you weren’t all thinking the same thing!”

“Eh? For real?” intervened Owari.

Hajime covered his face with his hands, feeling the heat emanating from his cheeks. This was getting out of hand. As it often did with class 77-B, the conversation became overwhelming pretty fast.

Ignoring Sonia’s hushed “Owari-san, this is what we were talking about yesterday,” Hajime cleared his throat. “I… yeah.” He gathered the little confidence he had and tried to appear casual. “I made him some chocolates. That I’m gonna give him. Today.”

Owari hummed, not looking particularly interested. “Good for you. You can give them to me if he rejects you, alright?” she said, grinning.

Despite himself, Hajime laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Th–the great thing about Komaeda-san is that you don’t have to worry about any–anyone else being interested in him,” Tsumiki told him with an encouraging smile.

Hajime wasn’t sure how to take this and tried not to feel too offended when Pekoyama only nodded. “I… I guess,” he managed to say.

Mioda jumped in front of him, so eagerly that he had to take a step back to avoid her fist. “Do you need Ibuki to write a love song for you? Ibuki could totally do it in, like, ten minutes,” she said, eyes wide with excitement. He really didn’t, but she never gave him the chance to respond. “Oh, oh! You could try some good ol’ pick-up lines on him!” She cleared her throat dramatically before making her voice drop an octave, “‘I love these chocolates, but nothing’s as sweet as you.’”

“Oh!” Sonia exclaimed, sharing Mioda’s excitement and joining her hands together. “What about something like ‘your soul is darker than a starless night and that makes me all hot and bothered. Let’s hook up and commit the act of darkness together.’”

“Good one Sonia-chan!” Mioda winked at Sonia.

…Did they forget he was supposed to be the one saying this? That didn’t sound like something he would ever say. Ever.

“So, what do you think?” Mioda asked him. “You need to go all out and act more confident Hajime-chan!”

“I… I’ll think about it,” he promised with a sheepish smile.

“CON-FI-DENT!”

“I–I’ll definitely do it! I will!”

Mioda grinned. “There we go!”

“Ugh!” Saionji chose this moment to stamp her foot dramatically. She was done with all this apparently. Hajime could relate. “I’m getting tired of you weirdos!” She gripped Koizumi’s arm and clung to her stubbornly. The bratty attitude was a lot less cute now that she was significantly taller (hair included) than most in her class. “Mahiru,” she whined. “I don’t want to spend any more time with these idiots, let’s ditch them and spend the day together.”

Somehow, Saionji’s begging was working on Koizumi, who turned as red as her hair. “H–Hiyoko-chan…!”

All things considered, it might have been a bit hypocritical of him to judge his friends’ tastes in romantic partners.

Hajime couldn’t hold in a laugh as he took in the chaotic scene around him, a pleasant reminder of why he cared about his friends so much. Being among class 77 could feel like being dragged around by strong personalities sometimes, but he didn’t mind it at all. This now familiar feeling of belonging, something he’d longed for before coming to Hope’s Peak, filled him with a sense of contentment he had never experienced before meeting them.

…He might be getting a bit too emotional. Still, Hajime promised himself to work hard and give each of the girls homemade chocolates for White Day. He just wished his two favorite people were here too.

As if they could hear his thoughts, Nanami and Komaeda chose this exact moment to walk through the door. Hajime tried to ignore the way his heart immediately picked up as a rather unpleasant fluttering sensation erupted in his stomach.

However, he quickly got distracted by how… weird they seemed. They both looked exhausted—more so than usual in Nanami’s case—and the fact that they showed up at the same time led him to believe that they’d been together this morning. When Komaeda got closer, Hajime noticed that the tip of his hair was damp, as if he’d taken a shower very recently. Hajime tried to stop his stupid brain from jumping to stupid conclusions.

Nanami, who looked two seconds away from falling asleep, went straight to her desk in the back of the classroom and put her head in her arms. They were all too used to her attitude to comment on it, and Mioda vigorously but quietly greeted her by patting her head.

Checking on Nanami would have to wait though, because Komaeda was standing right in front of him.

“Hey. Hi,” Hajime managed to say.

Jesus. Someone kill him now.

“Hello, Hinata-kun.”

Unfortunately (fortunately?), that was the moment Souda chose to throw his arm around Hajime’s neck, nearly choking him.

“Hinata,” Souda whined in Hajime’s ear. “What are you doing, hogging the girls’ attention to yourself… not fair.”

Despite his annoyance, Hajime huffed a laugh at the pout on Souda’s face. “I didn’t exactly have a choice.” He glanced at Nanami who was now playing on her gamegirl, before internally cursing when he noticed that Komaeda was no longer standing next to him. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”

“But I want to spend some time with my soulbro on Valentine’s Day,” Souda pouted.

“For fuck’s sake,” snapped Kuzuryu. “Let the guy breathe, you’re slobbering all over him.”

“What!” Souda looked at Kuzuryu with betrayal written all over his face, tears in his eyes. “I don’t slobber!”

Hajime threw Kuzuryu a grateful smile. He received an eye-roll in return, which made him snort. Kuzuryu and Natsumi were basically the same person.  

When Souda agreed to let go of him, Hajime joined Nanami in the back of the classroom and borrowed Nidai’s abandoned chair to sit next to her.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked.

She raised her head and blinked at him. “Ah, Hinata-kun. Hello.” She paused her game before smiling at him. “I’m okay, just a little tired.”

“I can see that,” he laughed.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Nanami put her gamegirl down and got something from her bag. She handed him a pretty red package; the same one he’d seen on the guys’ desks. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Hinata-kun. Thank you for being my friend and playing games with me.”

His face softened. “Thanks, Nanami.” He hoped his smile conveyed how much he meant it. According to the soft glint in her eyes, it did.

He opened the box to find an arrangement of different-looking chocolates, all in varied shapes, sizes, and colors. He let out a laugh; the chocolates were as flashy as their makers’ personalities, and it wasn’t hard to tell who made which.

He popped a chocolate in his mouth (a hot pink one with what he guessed was supposed to be a music note on it) and asked Nanami, “So, what were you and Komaeda doing this morning?”

But it wasn’t Nanami who responded.

“Nanami-san was kind enough to help me with a personal project. I’m so grateful I got to see such beautiful displays of her talent! She was generous enough to indulge me, even going as far as missing morning classes because of scum like me.”

Komaeda’s voice made Hajime jump. “K–Komaeda!”

“I’m not indulging you Komaeda-kun, I had a great time. It was fun. A bit chaotic maybe,” Nanami replied to Komaeda, ignoring Hajime’s outburst. To Hajime, she explained, “We had a sleepover.”

Komaeda opened his mouth but didn’t have the time to say anything before Mioda interrupted him, “Nagito-chan! C’mere, c’mere! Ibuki wants to give you your chocolates!” she exclaimed. He didn’t try to resist as she enthusiastically took him away.

Well… that was that. Based on how embarrassing this small exchange had been, maybe Hajime should thank her.

“So. Uh. You two had a sleepover?”

“Mhm,” replied Nanami. “I’m gonna stay away from cooking games for a little while, I think… I’ve always been good at them but the real thing ended up being much more difficult…” she mumbled. Hajime was pretty sure she was talking to herself.

When Hajime didn’t reply, Nanami paused, her fingers staying immobile long enough to get a game over. “Hinata-kun, you’re being weird. Ah, it’s just like the infamous misunderstanding scene, isn’t it… We just played baking games. You can stop thinking about anything weird.”

“I wasn’t thinking about anything,” he quickly denied, flushing with shame.

He glanced to the side to make sure Komaeda was still busy talking with the girls, just in time to see him claim that ‘a worm like him wasn’t worthy of their gift’, which made Sonia announce that it was nonsense and that he was part of their class. Komaeda’s small smile sent Hajime’s heart racing.

“Um… right.” Nanami yawned, as if whatever had happened during their sleepover had sucked all the energy out of her. She was probably going to fall asleep during class. He hoped Yukizome wouldn’t be too stern with her.

After that, Hajime spent the rest of lunch break with class 77, eating chocolates and listening to Souda lament about his lack of a love life as he made sure Nanami wasn’t falling asleep mid-sentence. It was fun, and before he knew it, he had to go back to the Reserve Course building. With everything going on, Hajime never found the courage or the right moment to talk to Komaeda. Which was fine. They would do a lot of talking tonight. Maybe. Oh god, what if Komaeda never wanted to talk to him ever again?

The rocky start of their relationship took some time, effort, and arguments to evolve into a tentative friendship that later blossomed into something more genuine, so Hajime chose to believe that a stupid box of chocolates wouldn't be enough to threaten what they had, regardless of the outcome. 

In situations like this, Hajime wasn't one to project himself and preferred not to think about potential outcomes—favorable or not. Still, he couldn't shake the image of the soft smile Komaeda always gave him when Hajime got him small trinkets.

He truly hoped this box of chocolates would get the same reaction. 

Chapter Text

This past year, Hajime had fallen into the habit of walking back to the dorms with Nanami and Komaeda after class. It usually went like this; Nanami would be playing on her gamegirl while Hajime and Komaeda would bicker and make sure she avoided any potential obstacles. A bit chaotic, maybe, but something that Hajime always looked forward to.

Today however, for the first time in weeks, Nanami let them know that she would be walking home with Fujisaki from class 78, and that they should go ahead without her while she waited for her friend. While Hajime had been expecting something like that, the prospect of being left alone with Komaeda for a significant amount of time still made his heart race and turned him into an anxious, sweaty mess. He was so nervous that he barely paid attention when he caught Komaeda and Nanami having what appeared to be a secret exchange when they thought Hajime hadn’t been looking.

He was too busy agonizing over these damn chocolates to think much of it, anyway.

For the hundredth time today, Hajime wondered whether he’d have the guts to do it. It had been easy to motivate himself earlier but now that he was alone with Komaeda, it was a completely different story. He just couldn’t see himself find the courage to give Komaeda this stupid box of chocolates.

But he remembered the stunned look on Komaeda’s face when he’d received chocolates from the girls, or how unbothered he had looked when he’d told Hajime he’d never gotten any before, as if that was something he simply didn’t deserve. He thought about the soft, pretty glint in Komaeda’s eyes when Hajime brought him gifts.

He pictured Nanami’s hyped-up face, cheeks flushed with excitement and sparkly eyes. He almost wished she was there for moral support. She’d been nothing but sweet and supportive the past few days while he turned into a pathetic mess, and even offered him some advice even though romance, according to her, wasn’t exactly her area of expertise.

“You just need to make sure you’re avoiding choices leading to bad endings. But I get you Hinata-kun, I’m not good at dating sims either,” she said, puffing her cheeks and making Hajime chuckle. “Somehow I always end up choosing the wrong option.”

Hajime wasn’t sure how otome games were supposed to help him, but he was grateful for the help nonetheless. Not that he knew anything about otome games.

“But I want to get better at them,” Nanami continued, “so I’ve been playing a lot of eroge recently—”

“E–Eroge?!”

She nodded. “Mhm. If you ignore the badly written H-scenes I’m sure you could take inspiration from them… probably.” Nanami looked at him intensely, squinting her eyes at him while he tried not to combust. “You even kind of look like a VN protagonist… I think that could work,” she assured with a nod, leaving Hajime to wonder whether that was supposed to be a compliment. “Oh, you could try to kabedon Komaeda-kun.”

Hajime spluttered. Needless to say, he was not going to do that.

“…I’m not doing that.” Especially since it would look weird with Komaeda being slightly taller than him. Which didn’t matter, because he wasn’t considering the idea in the first place. “…Komaeda’s a bit taller than me anyway.”

“Reverse kabedon is actually quite popular.”

…That had put an end to their conversation. Still, he was grateful to Nanami and her advice.

Avoid choices leading to bad endings. Okay. He could do that.

Hajime glanced at Komaeda, who was still unusually silent. Enjoying the quiet in each other’s company was nothing new to them. In fact, it was one of his favorite things about hanging out with Komaeda and Nanami; none of them minded the comfortable, easy silence that naturally settled between them. But nothing about the current situation was peaceful; instead of the calm and easy silence they were used to, the atmosphere was heavy, amplifying Hajime’s anxiety.

At first, Hajime had assumed that he was to blame for the awkwardness between them. But while he’d agonized over what was currently hiding in his bag, Komaeda had been unusually silent at his side. He would typically run his mouth about his classmates’ antics and their ‘beautiful displays of hope,’ or rant about the predictable twists in a book he was reading. And Hajime would listen, asking questions and rolling his eyes at Komaeda’s tendencies for the dramatic.

It had come as a surprise, how much he liked listening to Komaeda rambling. Hajime remembered a time when even the simple mention of Komaeda’s name was enough to put a scowl on his face. (Well, that still happened. Sometimes. When Komaeda got on his nerves. But it wasn’t the same.)

Tonight though, something was definitely up with Komaeda. He was too quiet, with a sort of nervousness in the way his eyes stayed fixed on the ground as Hajime kept stealing glances at him.

“Hey, uh. Something wrong?” Hajime asked.

Komaeda blinked, as if he’d been lost in thought, and let out a nervous laugh. He was acting suspiciously fidgety.

“Hm? Not at all, Hinata-kun! I’m feeling great!”

Right. Hajime squinted his eyes at him.

“I’m just so happy about the beautiful displays of hope I could witness today,” Komaeda said with a too-big smile. “This is the perfect opportunity to see everyone’s hope and happiness shine, don’t you think? Ah, such a hopeful day.”

…That was such a Komaeda answer. But something about it made Hajime frown. “Uh, yeah. I guess,” he said. “But you’re part of that too, you know. You should include yourself when you say stuff like that.”

Komaeda’s light chuckle didn’t do anything to appease Hajime’s growing frustration.

“You know as well as I do that we’re not like them, Hinata-kun. Ordinary people like us, we’ll never get to create anything significant enough to make a difference.”

“Yeah, but…” Hajime briefly recalled Komaeda calling his hope ‘the brightest he’d ever seen’ a few days ago, before pushing away any thoughts of Komaeda’s contradictory mind to focus on the issue at hand, “that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy yourself.”

“Hinata-kun is always so thoughtful and considerate. I still think your kindness is wasted on me, but I can’t bring myself to reject it… How awfully selfish of me.” And Komaeda was probably used to Hajime by now, because he didn’t leave him time to start reprimanding him. “Did you get any chocolates today?”

Hajime blinked, taken aback. That was the last thing he’d expected to come out of Komaeda’s mouth.

“H–Huh? Why are you asking me that?” he asked quickly, feeling himself blush at the mention of chocolates. Unfortunately for Hajime, Komaeda’s poorly disguised attempt at changing the subject was enough to make him lose his cool and take the bait. Sometimes he really felt like Komaeda had him all figured out.

“Ahaha… I didn’t mean to embarrass you, I’m just being curious.” Komaeda offered a carefree smile. “I assume someone like Hinata-kun is quite popular.”

“Uh? Wh–Why would you assume that?”

Komaeda paused, causing Hajime to stop walking as well, and they just stared at each other for a moment, silent and puzzled.

“Well,” Komaeda said after a few seconds, “Hinata-kun is rather plain, I assumed his averageness would be appealing to a lot of people.”

…Okay, rude.

“Jeez, thanks…” Hajime muttered, his face heating up with a mix of irritation and humiliation.

“Ah… did I say something wrong…? Please don’t misunderstand, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda said, a hint of desperation in his voice, “I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Komaeda looked like he was about to add something before changing his mind and snapping his mouth shut, jaw clenched. He was starting to look a bit panicked, and despite Hajime’s annoyance, the tiny beads of sweat pearling at Komaeda’s forehead made Hajime feel kind of bad about making him anxious.

Before Hajime could say anything however, Komaeda was speaking again, “I wasn’t implying that you’re uninteresting, quite the contrary… After all Hinata-kun is Hinata-kun. There’s many things that draw me to you.” Komaeda glanced at Hajime’s face and his voice trailed off in a breathy laugh. “…I’ve said too much, didn’t I? My point was simply that the lack of distinctive characteristics could be an appeal on its own for some people, you know?” He let out another nervous chuckle before continuing, “And, well. The fact that Hinata-kun is quite easy on the eyes definitely helps as well.”

Hajime could only gape at him. Frankly, he had no idea how to process what just came out of Komaeda’s mouth. He’d called him plain again but also… good-looking? Probably? Definitely. What the hell was he supposed to make of that? 

Not for the first time since the start of their conversation, Hajime had to internally scream at Komaeda and his need to make everything more complicated than it needed to be.

“I… don’t know how to respond to any of that.”

“Oh, ahahah… hah… Of course. You don’t have to indulge me and answer my useless rambling.”

Hajime could have screamed.

After letting out a long sigh, Hajime took a deep breath and made up his mind. Should he really be doing this right after Komaeda had just called him basic? Probably not. Well. He’d also called him good-looking. Sort of.

Bracing himself and trying to gather the little assurance he had, Hajime searched for Komaeda’s gaze and locked eyes with him. If he kept listening to Komaeda’s confusing words, he would never find the confidence to do it.

“Look,” Hajime told him, his voice firm and heavy. “I need to give you something.” He averted his eyes long enough to open his bag and find what he was looking for. “And I… I don’t mind your rambling, okay? So stop saying stuff like that… putting yourself down and making it sound like I can barely tolerate you. We’ve talked about this, how many times do I need to tell you that I like hanging out with you.” Hajime’s ears were burning. He tried not to pay attention to it.

“Ah, hm. Yes.”

If Hajime didn’t know any better, he’d think Komaeda was being bashful. He silently watched Komaeda wipe his hands against his pants, and the almost shy look on his face was enough to send Hajime’s heart racing.

“Hinata-kun?” Komaeda called in a small voice while Hajime was busy gripping the stupid box and panicking. “Actually I… I have something for you too.”

“Um. You first,” Hajime said.

Great job, Hajime. Way to go.

“Right,” Komaeda replied with a wobbly smile but didn’t move. Neither of them did.

After a moment, Komaeda sighed and started rummaging through his bag before handing something to Hajime.

“I apologize in advance. I would understand if you never wanted to speak to me ever again.” Komaeda presented a small package to Hajime, and he automatically accepted it when Komaeda pushed it toward him. Hajime looked down, gaping at the dark green box and the large white ribbon nicely wrapped around it. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Hinata-kun.”

For a few seconds, Hajime could only stare at the box. Then, after his mind had gone through the full process of shutting down and starting again, he blushed so violently he was afraid he’d caught on fire.

“Val–Valentine’s… Valentine’s Day?! Ah…!”

He’d been so caught up in his own head that he never questioned what Komaeda might want to give him. His mind flashed back to his earlier thoughts: there was no mistaking a guy offering chocolates to another guy on Valentine’s Day. Hajime still fought to find a rational explanation and not jump to conclusions. His brain hadn’t caught up yet and was already coming up with crazy scenarios.

After a much needed self-inflicted mental slap, Hajime realized he’d been standing there silently for who knew how long and that Komaeda now looked like he was about to deflate. Faced with the ridiculousness of the situation, and because the universe hated him, a nervous giggle accidentally slipped out of Hajime’s mouth.

“Hah… I don’t doubt I look pitiful enough to ridicule, but I didn’t think Hinata-kun would go as far as laughing at me…” Komaeda said with a self-deprecating smile, looking down at his hand.  

Hajime stopped, an uncomfortable sensation squeezing his chest as he hurriedly tried to explain, “N–No! That’s not— ugh!” He took his own gift out of his bag and unceremoniously handed it to Komaeda. “Here… um. Happy Valentines?”

Hajime wasn’t sure what kind of response to expect, but he’d at least expected something. Instead, Komaeda simply stared at him, unblinking and unmoving. He was so still that Hajime worried for a second he wasn’t breathing. When Komaeda’s silence ceased to be awkward and became concerning, Hajime carefully dropped the box of chocolates in his hands and hoped he wasn’t supposed to take Komaeda’s reaction as a form of rejection.

Slowly, Komaeda looked down at the package in his hands; a round, simple box with a bow that Hajime absolutely didn’t choose because its color reminded him of the pale pink in Komaeda’s hair. Hajime felt the fluttering sensation in his stomach come back with a vengeance at the sight of the barely-there blush on Komaeda’s cheeks.

A gust of wind blew past them, ruffling Komaeda’s hair, and Hajime’s eyes avidly followed as Komaeda’s fingers tucked a stray strand behind his ear. The moment would have been perfect, like in one of those romance manga Hajime pretended not to read, if a bird hadn’t suddenly dived at them, snatching the box right out of Komaeda’s hands with a piercing squawk before flying away.

They stared at each other. For a long time. The silence grew between them as Hajime tried to process what had just happened, feeling like his voice got stuck in his throat.

What… What the fuck was a seagull even doing here?!

Komaeda let out a short, breathy chuckle, then another, before his laugh morphed into something crazed and tense.

“Um—”

“I’m sorry, Hinata-kun. You must have worked so hard on your gift, just for me to ruin it. I should have never—” He stopped, a huff of laughter escaping his mouth. “Ah, of course something like this would happen… I never deserved it in the first place. To think that Hinata-kun would make something like that for me, this kind of good luck… I don’t think the despair I experienced last night is enough to counterbalance it. I guess even more bad luck will be waiting for me after this embarrassing display… Ahh, I can’t wait… I’m shivering with anticipation…!”

“Komaeda—”

“You must think I’m such an ungrateful and useless nuisance,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, I—”

“Komaeda!” Hajime snapped. “Look, it’s… it’s okay. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, okay?” Komaeda opened his mouth to argue, but Hajime was quicker, “Unless you somehow found a way to communicate with fucking birds and ordered one of them to steal the box of chocolates you didn’t know I was gonna give you, then it’s not your fault.”

Komaeda didn’t try to argue this time. Hajime could tell from the miserable look on his face that he was still feeling guilty, though.

“Hey,” Hajime said, hoping that his awkward smile would cheer Komaeda up, at least just a little. “I’m not mad, or whatever. And… c’mon. You got to admit it was pretty funny.” He cringed at himself when Komaeda didn’t laugh at his poor attempt at a joke.

Slowly, Hajime took Komaeda’s hands in his own, earning a small intake of breath and a wide-eyed look. Komaeda let him lace their fingers together, and Hajime’s smile softened when he felt Komaeda automatically squeeze his hand around his.

“You know, I… I can make you more chocolates if you want. A–Anytime you want.”

“Hinata-kun, saying something like this… ah, always so generous, I can’t wait to experience the despair that will undeniably come after this…”

Komaeda still looked like a kicked puppy. The grim smile on his face told Hajime he was too caught up in whatever was happening in his head to listen to Hajime. Not for the first time, he wished he could reach into Komaeda’s brain and get rid of whatever stupid shit he was telling himself.

Well, the situation was still salvageable. Hajime looked at the neatly wrapped box Komaeda had given him and reluctantly let go of Komaeda’s hand to pull it toward himself. “I’m. I’m opening it,” he said.

That finally got a reaction out of Komaeda. He flinched and raised his head, staring intensely at Hajime with a blush on his face. Hajime paused, because he’d never seen Komaeda wear that expression before—eyes wide open and cheeks flushed a dark shade of pink, accentuated by the sickly paleness of his skin. Komaeda was always pretty of course, but Hajime was mesmerized by the rare display of embarrassment.

He hoped he’d get to see it again.

“Ah, um.” Komaeda hesitated. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea… ahaha…”

Hajime frowned. “Why?”

Komaeda let out a sigh, resigned. “I ran into some issues while making them… which is why I had to ask Nanami-san for help. The way she faces adversity head-on and overcomes despair is so inspiring for an incapable guy like me… But even with Nanami-san’s help, I’m so incompetent that I was unable to make something worthy of Hinata-kun. I don’t know what I was thinking, I shouldn’t—”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

“No, really,” Komaeda insisted with an awkward laugh, but Hajime wasn’t listening to him anymore.

He carefully undid the white bow and opened the box, staying alert for potential kleptomaniac animals. But any thoughts of crazy food-stealing birds left his mind when his eyes fell on the contents of the box. Hajime gulped, trying to keep a straight face and not betray what was happening in his mind. He… had no idea what he was looking at.

Chocolates, he assumed. The dark brown shapeless pieces had a strange greenish tint, with some kind of thick strings sticking out of them, and it took Hajime a moment to realize that they were leaves. Some pieces of chocolate looked burnt while others were half melted.

Hajime knew Komaeda wasn’t exactly the best cook but that seemed rather extreme. He then had to remind himself that this was Nagito Komaeda and that everything about him was extreme.

Despite the seemingly inedible sweets he was still staring at, Hajime couldn’t stop the fluttering sensation in his stomach or the slight tremble in his hands at the thought of Komaeda making those for him. Komaeda, who usually avoided any activity that could potentially (according to him) put him in any form of danger. Like cooking. The thought of Komaeda trying so hard for him, enough to miss morning classes and even ask Nanami for help was making Hajime’s head all fuzzy.

“It looks awful, doesn’t it?” Komaeda asked, that depressing smile still on his face. “Ah… just the sight of it fills me with despair… I wouldn’t blame you if you thought I was trying to poison you.”

“I—I wasn’t thinking this at all!”

Komaeda still looked resigned and kind of miserable, but there was a hint of worried excitement in the way he glanced at Hajime’s face.

Hajime looked down at the chocolates. “What, uh, what did you put in them?”

“I…” That pretty shade of pink rose once more on Komaeda’s cheeks. “I wanted to try mixing chocolate with yomogi, since Hinata-kun likes kusamochi so much.”

Yomogi… that explained the fresh leaves then.

…Somewhat. He had no idea why Komaeda had deemed it necessary to add leaves without mixing or boiling them beforehand.

But Hajime couldn’t dwell on Komaeda’s poor culinary choices when his mind was consumed by the thought of Komaeda wanting to mix Hajime’s favorite food with Valentine’s Day chocolates. He couldn’t even bring himself to care about the dumb expression he must have been wearing while he stared at the light pink hue on Komaeda’s cheeks. To think that this whole time, Hajime had been convinced that shyness and bashfulness just weren’t emotions Komaeda ever experienced.  

Hajime took a chocolate, one that didn’t seem to have leaves in it, and brought it to his mouth.

“Hinata-kun, you don’t have to force yourself…” Komaeda said hurriedly.

“You made them for me, didn’t you?”

Eyeing the chocolate with suspicion, Hajime briefly wondered if it could make him sick. He then promptly decided that it didn’t matter when he noticed Komaeda’s tiny, hesitant smile. The raw and sincere emotions hidden behind this nearly imperceptible gesture, a sort of vulnerability he knew Komaeda still wasn’t comfortable showing, was more than enough to give him the final push he needed to pop the chocolate in his mouth.

Despite knowing what to expect, the strange association of chocolate and bitter yomogi still came as a surprise. Still, this isn’t so bad, he naively told himself before biting into it. Immediately, bitterness invaded his mouth and assaulted his tongue as the mushy texture of the chocolate paired with its much-too-sweet taste almost made him gag.

While he usually enjoyed the slight bitterness of kusamochi, that was just too much, but Hajime did his best to keep a straight face.

How the fuck did Komaeda manage to create something like this, Hajime had no idea. Maybe Tanaka was right and Komaeda really was the offspring of a demon, because it simply shouldn’t be humanly possible to end up with a monstrosity like this while trying to make chocolate.

Hajime forced himself to swallow and prayed that the horrible taste wouldn’t linger on his tongue.

“See? Nothing happened.” Hajime shrugged, willing the last remnants of that hellish concoction to fade away, and stared right into Komaeda’s eyes. “It’s good,” he lied.

That didn’t seem to convince Komaeda. Hajime hoped he didn’t look too green.

He swallowed, embarrassment crawling up his neck at the corniness of what he was about to say, and cleared his throat. “W–Well, you made them for me and put a lot of thought and effort into it. That means a lot to me. And that… that makes them delicious.”

The consumption of chocolate that had been neither fit, safe, nor appropriate to subject his tastebuds to all became irrelevant when a dark shade of red spread all over Komaeda’s face, from his cheeks to the tip of his ears and even down his neck. For once, he was the one dodging Hajime’s gaze.

Komaeda wrapped his arms around himself, his breathing visibly labored. “This is bad, so bad…! What should I do… Hinata-kun, if you keep saying things like this…” Komaeda’s voice trailed off in a sound between a squeak and a laugh.

Komaeda’s reaction was kind of cute, if a bit extreme, but Hajime was worried he would start hyperventilating.

“…Are you okay…?”

“Yes! I’ve never been better!” Komaeda exclaimed, despite his face turning a concerning shade of red. “Hah… I can’t believe Hinata-kun would say something so embarrassing, ahaha…”

“C–Come on, it wasn’t that bad…”

Surprisingly, the familiar banter brought a sense of comfort that helped ease the growing tension and lighten the mood. Hajime couldn’t hold in a short laugh as he tried to calm the frantic beat of his heart, and Komaeda responded with a breathy chuckle. It helped Hajime calm down a little, even if it sounded more like a coughing fit than a laugh.

“So… Nanami helped you make these, right?” Hajime asked.

“Yes, Nanami-san was kind enough to help a good-for-nothing like me. I don’t know what I would have done without her,” Komaeda said with a soft smile. “Her precious advice and motivating words kept me from despairing during the hardships that my luck made us go through.”

Hajime snorted. “That sounds fun.”

“I suppose.” Komaeda crossed his arms and looked to the side. “I was lucky enough to have fun with Nanami-san, but at what cost…”

Hajime was suddenly reminded of the fact that Komaeda relied on Hope’s Peak Academy’s cafeteria and takeouts to feed himself. He’d been horrified to find nothing but instant ramen and Blue Ram cans in Komaeda’s house the first time they’d studied there. Nanami at least kept a variety of snacks, even if it wasn’t much healthier. Hajime really worried about them sometimes.

“Hey, uh.” Hajime hesitated. “Next time… I’ll make food for us, okay? Nanami too.”

“If Hinata-kun’s making us food, then there’s no way I can refuse.”

Hajime felt the corner of his mouth quirk up. He tucked Komaeda’s words somewhere in the back of his mind—considering Komaeda’s sometimes complicated relationship with food, they might prove useful in the future.

They started walking again after that, and it didn’t take them long to reach the Main Course dorms. The sight of the large building, so much nicer than the Reserve Course dorms, filled Hajime with a sense of unease. He couldn’t shake the feeling of something hanging in the air between them.

He didn’t want to let the day end without acting on it.

So, just as Komaeda had been about to say goodbye, Hajime gathered his courage and took a deep breath.

“Komaeda,” he said resolutely, a slight tremble in his voice. His heart was pounding in his ears. “Look, do you want to go on a date? This weekend? W–With me, I mean.”

Komaeda stared at him like he’d gone crazy.  “A date with Hinata-kun… hah… ahh… That’s, that’s just— I can’t possibly— When I think about all the things that could go wrong—”

“Don’t think about any of that,” Hajime quickly interrupted. He met Komaeda’s gaze with a rare level of seriousness. “Do you want to?”

“Yes,” came Komaeda’s immediate answer. A short, breathy whisper giving away the desperation etched into that simple word. “I… I want to.”

Hajime’s face softened, his shoulders relaxed, and he smiled, “Good.” For once, he didn’t care about the blush spreading on his face. “Then… I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Komaeda nodded, failing to conceal the tiny smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, and one last thing,” Hajime told him, his heart thumping so hard he thought it might explode. “Since that stupid bird stole your gift.” He stepped closer, closing the distance between them until his face was just centimeters from Komaeda’s. Closer than they’d ever been before. He took great pleasure in the way Komaeda’s eyes widened as he leaned in, his breath tickling Komaeda’s skin. Then, softly, deliberately, Hajime pressed a tiny kiss at the corner of Komaeda’s mouth. He stayed there, a little too long maybe, before whispering, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Komaeda.” A warm tingle shot up his spine at the small whimper Komaeda let out in response.

Hajime stepped back, the sensation of cold skin and soft lips etched into his mind as he took in Komaeda’s deeply flushed face. The taste of Komaeda’s skin lingered on his lips.

Sweeter than chocolate.