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Chapter Text

Will Gardner had been trying to find ways to make himself busy for most of the day –– his work docket surprisingly light. 

He also didn’t want to seem too eager by visiting Alicia in her new office too soon either. 

But… finally, an acceptable time had come. 

On his way there, Will stops to talk with his assistant first. And it’s convenient in that it serves as both to solve a work related issue and it gives him time to gather his thoughts about the previous night. 

He taps on the glass wall to get Alicia’s attention, and she’s slow to lift her gaze from her computer screen but when she makes eye contact, her green eyes are warm and her lips pull up into a slight smile.

“Hi,” Will says as he enters her office, closing the door behind him. “Am I interrupting anything?” 

Alicia shakes her head, closing the lid of her laptop, “Nope,” she responds. “How are you?” 

It’s been a few hours since they’ve seen each other –– and Will curbs the urge to kiss her. Suddenly, he hates that their offices are all made of glass. Who’s bright idea was that?  

“I’m good,” he says simply and Alicia nods coyly, accepting his answer. 

The lawyer lets out a long breath, “So,” he drawls, “do you have a moment to talk?” 

“Ah,” Alicia whispers, even though they’re the only two people in the room. A playful glint sparks in her eyes, “About last night?” 

Will chuckles, dropping his head as he answers, “Yes.” 

Just as soon as he drops it, however, he’s snapping it back up again. He pauses, casting his brown eyes over her curiously as if something is finally sliding into place in his mind.  

“You know,” the man starts, his voice taking on a wondrous effect as he looks at her. “I could have sworn you had a different hair style when you left this morning.”

Alicia rolls her eyes upward to the top of her head where her new bangs brush at her eyelashes. “Oh,” she giggles, this is Will’s first time seeing her . “I was in the mood for a change.” 

Their schedules hadn’t aligned that morning, with her being called in early to consult on a case, and since Will had no early meetings, it meant he could take his time coming into work. 

Alicia had been toying with the idea of changing up her hairstyle for several weeks now. Feeling like a change in her appearance might help her shed some of her old self somehow. 

She’s chickened out every time of course , always stopping short of booking the appointment. Strangely enough, Alicia realized, that could also be a metaphor for how she’s navigated her relationship with Will thus far… at least until, well, last night. 

But in the spirit of feeling brave, she finally decided, why not . She was already being proactive in going after what she wanted. 

Alicia left Will’s apartment with no real plan and certainly no appointment. It was rather comical, actually, the way she sat in the parking lot of the commercial center outside of the salon, waiting for a hairdresser, any hairdresser to show up and open the shop. She didn’t want much, a trim and a style and she was willing to pay extra if they could just fit her in early… really early. 

Now, as she brushes her bangs with the tips of her fingers, she gives Will a soft and placid smile. Pleased. 

“I wanted to try something new,” she says, and then, teasingly she adds, “What, don’t you like it?” 

Will hums his approval, lips quirking upward fondly. “I do,” he confirms. 

He likes her new look, truly. But Will also likes everything about Alicia Florrick, and he knows he always will. 

The tenderness he feels for her grows in his chest, and he allows himself to dwell in it, if only for a moment. 

Still, however, recalling the time Alicia left his apartment, Will can’t help but question: “Are salons open that early?” His brow arches up humorously. 

Alicia breaks out into a fit of laughter, “Shut up.” 

Will’s smile only gets bigger at the sound of her cackle. 

Chapter Text

Alicia Cavanaugh couldn’t read another word. 

Every time she tried to focus, the letters swam in front of her eyes. She was past the point of being able to retain anything. 

Her study group had gathered in one of the quiet rooms of the Georgetown Law Library, prepping for a lecture they were all expected to participate in. But it’s been hours now, and she was tired and hungry, and frankly, she had given up on reading for the day. 

Alicia leans back in her chair, zoning out as her green eyes rove around the baron room. The light from the sun outside had dimmed significantly and soon it’d be night. 

The law student could have left at any time, she knows this. Her friends had all slowly trickled out until it was just her and her study partner. 

Leaving, however, meant leaving him… Will Gardner. 

And she didn’t want to leave Will. 

The two had struck up a close bond since realizing they shared most of their classes together. It made sense for them to pair up to study as well. 

Alicia liked being in Will’s orbit. Whether it be sitting together in class or bumping into him on campus. 

She didn’t want to leave. 

They were alone now... Will was still so tuned into the pages of their Criminal Law 101 book, he hadn’t even noticed Alicia was no longer following along. 

His head hung over the book as he read, left hand gliding over the page as he underlined words and phrases with his pencil. 

Will told her once he hated using a pen... it made writing notes in the margins quicker as he moved through the text. 

Alicia cants her head to the side, following the movement of his hand over the page. In the weeks they’ve been working together since they met earlier that semester, she hadn’t realized he was also left-handed. 

“We’re both lefties,” she observes rather banally as her voice bounces around the hollow room. 

Will stops, slowly turning his head to look at her, his brown eyes wading in bemusement. 

He scans her face for a moment, where Alicia knows he can see the hint of embarrassment mar her cheeks, before his eyes drop to her left hand where her pen had long ago gone slack. 

“I… it’s just something I… realized,” she stammers with a shrug. Will’s sudden scrutiny made her nervous, she hadn’t actually meant to say the words out loud. 

Will sits back in his chair, stretching out his back after hours of being in the same folded position. “Huh,” he nods. “Would you look at that?” 

Then –– he smiles at her so brilliantly it takes her breath away, and she finds it hard to swallow. 

“What are the odds,” Will says wondrously. 

Alicia thinks she’d never have a bad day if she was at the receiving end of that smile, and part of her wants to fight to keep it there forever. 

She softens as her fondness for her friend grows. 

“You want to get out of here?” Will asks as he closes his book with a thud. “Everyone’s gone home and I’ve kept you here long enough.” 

“Yes,” Alicia perks up happily. 

“I’ll buy you dinner,” he offers as they pack their books and gather the rest of their belongings from the desk. 

“It’s the least you can do for me, Will Gardner, the dining hall closed an hour ago.”

Will throws his head back and laughs, and Alicia is sure no song she’s ever heard is as good as the sound of Will’s booming laughter. She beams at him. 

“C’mon, let’s go.”

Chapter Text

“Damn it.” Alicia Florrick curses lowly, pulling back from the heated kiss. 

What the hell was that? 

“Alicia I– ” Will Gardner’s tone is imbued with an apology but she doesn’t want to hear it. 

The lawyer shakes her head vigorously, “No, no, no,” she chants. “Damn it.” 

What the hell was that? 

Alicia takes a step back like she’s been burned, her head suddenly feeling like a hundred pounds on her shoulders. 

Turning away quickly, she grabs her coat and purse from the chair and bolts for the door. “God,” she breathes out heavily. Her heels click on the hardwood floor as she blindly runs for the elevator. 

What the hell was that? 

Alicia panics through the tedious elevator ride down into the parking garage. 

Will is your boss! She chides herself. Have you lost your mind?

She stomps her way to her car, hands shaking as she tries and fails to get the key fob to work. It’s a few attempts before she’s successful. 

That shouldn’t have happened. Are you crazy? It’s dangerous. It’s stupid and totally inappropriate.  

He is your boss for Christ’s sake. 

It was an emotionally charged case. That’s it. That’s all. 

Nothing to do with your history. 

It can’t happen again. It won’t. There’s too much at risk.  

Alicia stops at the driver’s side door, hand short of reaching for the door handle. 

Get in your car, Alicia. Leave.  

She knows she should go. She needs to go. It’s the smart thing to do. 

Go home! 

A voice at the back of her screams… and she knows. She knows she should heed that voice. 

But… their kiss plays on repeat at the forefront of her mind, usurping all the noise. 

And slowly she turns around, going back the way she came. 

Damn it. 

The taste of Will’s lips is still fresh on her tongue, and she feels the ghost of his hard body still pressed up against her. 

Alicia hesitates briefly before pressing the button for the twenty-eighth floor. “This is not a good idea,” she sighs, leaning against the wall for support as the lift begins to move. 

God, this is crazy, Alicia. What are you doing? 

It’s wrong. He’s your boss! 

How do you think this will end?  

Alicia tracks the floor changes with her mind, willing the voices to quiet but they only get louder and louder the higher she climbs.

What will your children think? 

What a model you are… now they’ll have two adulterers for their parents. And Peter–   

She scoffs disdainfully at that particular thought, cutting it off before it could go any further. Alicia bangs her head lightly against the wall, the last voice sounding more suspiciously like Jackie’s lilt than her own. 

This is so not a good idea . 

The chatter stops, however, the moment the doors open. Her mind goes blank as her feet painstakingly carry her out and around the corner to Will’s office. 

What if he’s gone for the night? 

What if he’s still here?

Alicia hadn’t thought about more beyond this part. She had no plan… a fact that is unlike her. 

Her chest is tight as a more persistent voice now takes over. 

She had to see him again. 

And maybe Alicia should have prepared herself for disappointment at the chance of not finding Will in his office. But she doesn’t change her mind, doesn’t turn back around. She just keeps moving forward. 

He’s still here.

She spots the top of his head as she approaches the glass door, and her heart stutters inside her chest. She watches for him for a moment, pacing back and forth in the room as he taps his phone in his hand. 

Alicia is so focused on getting to Will, she doesn’t see the other Associate in the hall until they’re almost colliding into one another. 

“Uh, hi,” her eyes widen as she sputters, looking for the words to fill the silence. “I just forgot my laptop.” 

The other woman nods, smiling. “Goodnight,” she says, already walking away. 

“Goodnight,” Alicia calls back absently, not really caring if her colleague heard her.

–

As if he can feel her presence, Will turns around. His brown eyes meet her green ones with a mixture of longing and curiosity, like he can’t quite believe she’s there. 

Alicia can’t find fault in his skepticism though, she can hardly believe this is happening either. 

But there’s something else lingering in his gaze that emboldens her. 

“Ali– ”

Without trepidation, she crosses the threshold into his office. Dropping her belongs on the chair and kisses him. Again. 

Will doesn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around her, responding in kind and with the same fervor from earlier. His tongue grazes the roof of her mouth as his lips move over hers. 

Alicia feels that same swoop in her belly again, and she is instantly obsessed with that feeling. It patches a hole in her heart she’s ignored for over a decade. 

The corner of her mouth pulls up as she smiles lightly into the kiss, scratching at the back of his head.  

Will draws back lazily, “Uh,” he mutters. 

A darker part of her brain thought he might reject her, that he’d tell her this is wrong. 

And that might have been the easier route… but as Alicia searches his eyes she only sees tenderness and veneration, and it stuns her. 

She looks away for a moment because his gaze is suddenly too much, she’s having trouble swallowing. 

Her eyes bounce around the room, becoming acutely aware of the glass walls again and the sound of their colleagues still roaming the halls. 

Anyone can see them. They might have gotten lucky the first time but she wasn’t naive enough to think they couldn’t be caught a second time. 

Sensing her discomfort, Will takes her hand and pulls her into the bathroom. 

The bathroom is a tight fit, but it’ll do for privacy. 

Will stands by the toilet to give her space and Alicia is grateful for the reprieve as she leans against the sink. 

The silence is heavy between them as her mind scrambles to form words, and to his credit Will waits her out. 

“Who’s idea was it to have an office made of glass?” 

Alicia cringes as she hears herself speak, that’s not exactly what she thought she might say.

The other lawyer laughs in spite of the tension in the air, and her heart lifts at the sound. 

“Diane thought it was aesthetically pleasing,” Will answers. “Stern and I didn’t disagree.” 

She nods, accepting his answer. “It’s kind of inconvenient, don’t you think?” 

Will’s chest shakes as he chuckles, “Sometimes, yeah.” 

The atmosphere surrounding them stiffens as they fall into another lull, and again, Will does not rush her. She reels a bit at his patience. 

“I– ” Alicia starts, exhaling sharply. “I don’t know what this is,” are the words she settles on. She hopes Will can just keep up as she follows her own winding train of thought. 

“I don’t like not knowing things,” she pauses, letting the sentence percolate. “That hasn’t worked out for me so well in the past.” 

Alicia folds her arms around her chest in an effort to keep herself together. Her eyes move around the room before settling back on him, “But I don’t know how to unring this bell.” 

Will hums, “You came back,” he says. 

Alicia nods once, letting out a breath, “I came back,” she echos. 

“I looked for you,” he tells her and she furrows her brow. 

Will holds up his hands, “All I’m saying is, whatever you’re feeling now, I’m feeling it too.”

“It wasn’t a mistake, Alicia,” he says earnestly. “I just want to make that clear.”

Alicia bites at her lower lip, mind moving a mile a minute. “My life…” she trails off, heaving a sigh. “My life is a mess, Will. I’ve got two children whom I adore, who I’m trying really not to screw up. And a hus– ” she recoils internally at the word husband , and cuts herself off before she could even finish saying it. “And Peter.” 

Will’s lips quirk up sympathetically, his eyes sad. “I know.” 

“ This ,” Alicia gestures between them, “will only make it messier.” 

He shakes his head in understanding, opening his mouth to speak but she keeps talking. 

“And my job,” Alicia’s finding it hard to breathe now, her head throbbing. “I like my job. I need this job,” she says seriously. “If something happens between us, and it ends badly, that can’t be affected.” 

“It won’t,” Will interjects resolutely. 

“You don’t know that,” she challenges. 

“I do.” 

“How?” 

“Give me some credit, Alica,” Will exhales. “My personal feelings aside, you wouldn’t be here if we didn’t believe you were capable. I know you think you’ve got something to prove, and I understand that. But you’re a good lawyer.”

“Look,” he continues. “We don’t have to resolve this tonight.” He swallows thickly, “We can pause, take some time. We can talk about it over dinner, if you’d like. And if not, if it’s not what you want–I’ll respect that.”

Will gives her a self-deprecating look, “We’ve always had bad timing right? Maybe it’s not meant to be,” he shrugs. “But we can talk about it in two weeks.” 

Alicia pinches the bridge of her nose, “that’s the thing,” she holds his gaze steady. “I know what I want.” 

She doesn’t fill it in for him, but she doesn’t break eye contact either. She wants him… whatever this turns out to be. As messy and as complicated as it is right now, Alicia is sure she’ll still want Will Gardner in this lifetime and the next. She’s just not ready to unpack the intricacies of her feelings just yet.  

“I just don’t know what to do about the rest of it yet.” 

Will approaches her slowly, closing the gap between them. “That’s okay,” he says as he squeezes her arms in reassurance. “Rome wasn’t built in a day, right? We can take our time.” 

The conviction in his voice makes her want to believe him. And a part of her truly does, the depth of her trust in him is already so unyielding. 

Will leans forward, pressing his lips against her forehead and then kissing the tip of her nose. Alicia melts into his touch. 

What a night this has turned out to be.

“I do have one request,” he whispers, lifting Alicia’s chin with his knuckle so she can look at him. “Don’t shut me out, okay?” He gives her a gentle smile. “I want to be kept in the loop of whatever is going on in there,” he points to her head and she laughs a little, rolling her eyes. “I want to know what you’re thinking.”

Alicia drops her head to his shoulder, and Will just hugs her. She circles her arms low on his hips, bringing him closer and she’s comforted by the weight of him. 

“What if you hate me?” She breaths into his neck. “If there’s one thing I know I couldn’t stand, it’s the thought of you hating me.” 

Will pulls back slightly, eyes glazed and full of warmth, “I could never hate you Alicia. I’ve been waiting for you too long.” 

Alicia closes her eyes for a moment, God how is she supposed to respond to that?

She doesn’t… she kisses him instead. Moaning into his mouth as his teeth nip at the skin of her lips. 

“You know,” Will says in between pecks. “This has all been quite romantic.” 

Alicia arches a brow, “How so?” 

They’re in a cramped bathroom, not the most ideal place for this kind of life changing, life defining , conversation. 

“It’s Valentine’s Day.” 

Alicia rears back, “It is not,” she snorts. “It’s the 15th.”

Will lifts his shoulders, unfazed. With a wink he says, “It still counts.”

Chapter Text

Oddly enough … finding out about her husband’s infidelities on the six o’clock evening news was not the most humiliated Alicia Florrick has ever felt. 

BREAKING NEWS: 

Trouble out of Cook County’s States Attorney’s Office. 

Peter Florrick is being accused of trading sex for favors. 

The State’s Attorney is alleged to have slept with multiple women in exchange for-

“Mom?!” 

“Grace, turn it off!”

Alicia folds herself into the bathtub, hugging her knees to her chest. She stares fixedly at the Rainbow Fish sticker, her son Zach had stuck to the wall when he was four years-old. It’s faded with time… cracked in some spots and no longer as glossy as it once was. She tries not to read too deeply into the symbolism that sticker suddenly holds for her. 

Alicia recalls the night the news broke about Peter. The faces of her children open in shock and horror as they watched television, homework completely forgotten on the coffee table in the living room. 

Nothing about that day had felt particularly extraordinary… she woke up, got Zach and Grace off to school, and then went about her day as normal. There was nothing that could have prepared her for the absolute shit storm that would cloud her seemingly perfect life in Suburbia. 

Nevertheless, the sex scandal blew her life right open. Causing a sort of… forced introspection , as she’s taken to calling it in her mind. 

In the fifteen years since she’s been married… was there something she missed? Behaviors she overlooked for the sake of avoiding an argument? Were there patterns she willfully ignored? 

Two weeks ago, Alicia thought they were happy. Celebrating Just Because Day , a holiday Peter made up where he enlisted the help of their children to plan a sweet surprise for her while she was out at the market. 

She had always been prone to overthinking, and now everything is in question.  

What was once a fond memory, is tainted because she can’t help but wonder if he was just trying to throw her off his scent. 

Peter was the States Attorney, and before that he had been a respectable lawyer. It wasn’t unusual for him to spend long nights at the office or go on business trips that took him out of town. She’d gone on a few of those trips. 

But… should she have been more skeptical?

Alicia never second-guessed those long hours or trips… she didn’t think she had to. She trusted Peter. She never gave any credence to her friends' suppositions about what their husbands might get up to when they’re not around. 

Through the years, there have been several stories of notable politicians cheating on their spouses: President Bill Clintion and Hilary Clinton, Representative Anthony Weiner and Huma Abedin. Former Senator Jack Edwards was caught cheating on his wife while she was dying of Cancer for fucks sake . 

Alicia remembers watching as some of these wives stood by their husbands, holding their heads high in spite of the shame she knew they felt. Shame that their family is now under a microscope. Shame that their husbands didn’t respect them enough not to fuck other women. 

She recalls being perplexed by the show of strength because it didn’t seem authentic to her. She judged them for choosing to stay. Alicia was more interested in what went on in their heads as their husbands apologized to the public in front of the media, denying some actions while accepting the blame for others, when they were likely responsible for everything. 

Not once did Alicia think she'd be in their shoes. 

Not once did she think that would be her reality too. 

And yet, here she was… quite literally soaking in her sorrows. 

Alicia reaches for the glass of wine on the floor next to her, bringing it to her lips before sinking deeper into the tub’s warm water. 

She wipes at a stray hot tear that escapes from her eye, blowing out a heavy breath. 

Despite being embarrassed so publicly, however, Alicia’s greatest humiliation came later that week. Standing next to Peter during his press conference, surrounded by dozens of members of the press and their blazing hot lightbulbs, trained on them as he gave his carefully scripted apology. 

“Good morning. An hour ago, I resigned as States Attorney of Cook County. I did this with a heavy heart and a deep commitment to fight these scurrilous charges. I want to be clear that I have never abused my office. I have never traded lighter sentences for either financial or sexual favors.”

She stood there stoically, dutifully. Her jaw flexing ever so often as Peter read the words written for him. His PR agent, Dana, had instructed her not to show any outward emotion that the press might latch onto. Alicia didn’t think it mattered in the grand scheme of things, the press was going to talk about her no matter what she did or didn’t do. 

“At the same time, I need to atone for my personal failings with my wife, Alicia, and our two children. The money used in these transactions was mine, and mine alone–”

Her ears burned as she tuned out Peter’s voice, choosing instead to focus on a piece of lint on his suit jacket. Because after all, she was a good wife… it was part of her job description. Making sure her husband looked pristine anytime he left the house, and that she and their children represented him well within their community. 

“But I do admit to a failure of judgement in my private dealings with these women. ”

At that moment, Alicia realized it was all illusory. 

There was no manual on how to react to a public sex scandal… and maybe she should have been more sympathetic to the women who suffered before her. She certainly did not feel as strong on the inside as she outwardly portrayed, but what else was a politician's wife supposed to do if not stand behind her man … and sure, her fate was tied to his the moment she said “ I do ,” but she hadn’t signed onto this .

“Oh, Alicia,” Jackie Florrick scolded. 

Her mother-in-law had rushed over not long after the news broke, barely beating the paparazzi to their front door. 

“You need to grow a tougher spine, sweetheart. I’m sure it’s not as bad as they’re making it out to be. You know how the media loves to sensationalize.”

“There’s a sex tape Jackie,” Alicia says robotically, swallowing down the urge to gag. Images of Peter and a woman named Amber Madison flashing in her mind. 

The older woman tsked with a disapproving shake of her head. “Do you think I believed John was always faithful?” She turned to her with a raised brow. “Of course I didn’t,” Jackie huffed. “I’m not naive, darling. It comes with the territory. But I’ll tell you what, he always came home. This will die down.”

By the time Peter turned himself in, Alicia felt nothing. Waiting in the kitchen as her children hugged their father goodbye before he was escorted to the Cook County Jail by his lawyer Daniel Golden. The former States Attorney was charged with corruption.  

“You’ll be back soon, right Dad?” 

“I don’t know how soon Zach, but I’ll fight these charges. It’s a ploy to bring me down.”  

Alicia could only roll her eyes as she heard the exchange… Peter was nothing if not audacious.  

God. What a load of bullshit.

She leans over the edge of the tub to set the empty wine glass on the floor, and then relaxes against the porcelain, turning her head up towards the ceiling. 

It wasn’t until she was holding her crying children later that night that she felt angry. Righteously so. Angry that her husband hadn’t considered their kids at all while engaging in his affairs. Did he think they would never find out? Did he think she would what, forgive him and move past it? Did Peter have such little regard for them?

She remembers how her own mother’s infidelity broke up her family as a kid, and she sees that same heartbreak her and her brother, Owen, experienced as a result of it reflected on her children’s faces. 

Alicia didn’t believe in Hell, but if such a thing did exist, she hoped it would drag Peter down first. The slap in the hallway after the press conference offered only a temporary catharsis. 

Her stomach plunged lower and lower as she watched the light dim from both Zach and Grace. Their once bubbly personalities are now replaced by a sullenness that’s taken over the whole house. 

Zach has retreated into his world of video games, and she hasn’t had the heart to cut into his screen time. 

Neither child has really acknowledged their father’s absence, however, and Alicia’s not sure if they’re doing it for her benefit or if they’re actually holding on to hope that he’s innocent of all charges. 

Grace hasn’t spoken to her at all, the girl rendered practically mute.  

Alicia is worried about what will become of her children if this situation with Peter were to ever end. She feels helpless over not knowing how to get through to them, and guilty for failing to protect them from the scrutiny they’re suddenly facing. 

And then there’s Jackie… operating as though it were business as usual. As if her son wasn’t single handedly responsible for obliterating his family. The older woman has all but moved herself in, swooping in and taking on the role of second parent in her son’s absence.

Not wanting to pick a fight with her mother-in-law, Alicia just let her. It was just another thing to add to her growing guilt list.  

A part of her was grateful for the extra help, Alicia couldn’t keep the other woman away from her grandkids.Though, she was still wary of her and the unlimited access she’s gained to Zach and Grace. 

Alicia wasn’t blind to Jackie’s overbearing ways, her constant hovering and needling comments. Peter wasn’t the best mediator when it came to his mother, but he was something nonetheless. A useful buffer to fan the flames if they got too hot. 

God.  

She sinks further into the tub, this time with the water coming up to her chin. Feeling the pressure of the last few weeks fully upon her. 

They’ll run out of money soon… all of Peter’s assets were frozen or tied up in his legal fees. Alicia refused to take a loan from Jackie. 

She’s going to have to uproot their entire lives. 

Alicia takes a deep breath before plunging completely under water. 

–

The first time she saw him was at a pool party at Georgetown Law School. 

Alicia wasn’t enthusiastic about going, it wasn’t mandatory so she hadn’t planned to go. She had been up early that morning for orientation, making the rounds at various events she’d scheduled for the day. And since the party wasn’t mandatory, she decided to opt out, preferring to get back to her apartment and enjoy a quiet night in. 

The girls she had met during breakfast earlier, however, had another idea. 

“What do you mean, you want to go home?” Amanda, a tall pretty blonde, gapes at her in disbelief, “Alicia, get real. This party kicks off the semester. This is where you mingle.” 

“I’m all mingled out,” Alicia shrugs, wanting to stand her ground even though she knows she’ll ultimately cave in. 

“Please,” Gloria scoffs, rolling her deep brown eyes as she gathers her thick curly hair into a bun. “If you sit this out, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t. Come Monday, we’re going to be so busy we might not have time for much else.”

Nothing Alicia said would have deterred her new friends anyway. 

So, here she was. 

Sitting in a deck chair by the side of the pool as Motownphilly by Boyz II Men boomed over the speakers. A beer in her hand, that Gloria had procured from somewhere before disappearing into the throng of people. 

It was hard to distinguish who was who. Alicia recognized some faces from her morning events but was otherwise at a loss. Their entire class had been separated into several groups in different time slots, this mixer was what brought them all together. 

She covers her beer as a body hits the water, splashing her and drawing her attention to the diving board as a small group of young men and women compete in what looked like a cannonball contest. 

Alicia didn’t mean to get caught staring… but there was something about the second boy in line that captivated her. 

He was tall, solidly built, and handsome. He had short brown hair and there was a shine that danced in his rich brown eyes as he laughed with his cohorts on the board. 

As the first boy takes his turn and the others wait for his score, the young man with the bright brown eyes meets her gaze, like he knows he’s being watched and knew exactly where to look. 

It’s a moment before Alicia even reacts, arrested by his stare. She casts her eyes down, pretending to look elsewhere else but she knows it’s too late. Her cheeks redden as she turns her head towards the crowd on the other side of the pool, away from the diving board, but she can still see him smirk out of the corner of her eye.  

She’s charmed… and she can’t recall ever feeling charmed before. 

Alicia chances a glance in his direction again, as it’s his turn to dive. 

The boy holds his arms out, indicating he wanted a running start and she waits. Curious as to how this will pan out. 

He takes a few steps back before taking off. He manages a front flip in the air but his entry into the water is far from graceful, as falls out of the turn and flops belly first into the pool. 

Alicia grimaces at the cracking sound of the water and several people groan before breaking out into laughter. She only grows truly concerned, however, when it takes him a little longer to resurface than what would be considered normal. 

“Have we met before?” 

His smooth voice, albeit a little winded, startles her, and she’s surprised to find him treading water in front of her. 

Alicia licks her lips, “Uh,” she mumbles before chuckling at his boldness. “No, we haven’t. I’m Alicia.” 

“Nice to meet you Alicia, I’m Will,” he holds his wet hand out to her and she takes it. She ignores the current that passes through her body as their palms touch. 

Will just gives her a broad smile and she wonders briefly if he’s as affected as she is.   

“What section were you in?” 

“One,” Alicia responds as she brings her beer to her lips, suddenly thirsty. “You?” 

Will whistles, “That’s early. I was in section three, I didn’t have to come in until noon. I value my beauty sleep, you know,” he jokes.

Alicia rolls her eyes but her lips pull upward mirthfully as she takes another sip of her drink. 

“Are you okay?” She asks. “You hit the water pretty hard.” 

Will laughs with every muscle in his face and Alicia knows it’s way too soon to be obsessed with the vibrato of this stranger’s laughter. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves away her concern. “The only thing bruised is my ego.”

“I bet,” she snickers.

Someone on a microphone begins to call out his scores and they pause to listen. 

6.5, 5, 5.5. 

“Hey, that’s not bad! All things considered,” Alicia giggles and though she tried to be encouraging, she couldn’t keep the amusement from dancing in her green eyes. 

At the boy’s hard stare, she sobers, but it’s hard. “Hoping for better?” 

Will pushes off the wall for a bit before floating back in, “Are you kidding? Of course I am. Always.”

“Are you getting some kind of prize?”

“Bragging rights,” Will’s eyebrows twitch humorously. 

He begins to drift but swims back, “No,” he huffs seriously, “I gotta redeem myself. I have to impress you, Alicia.”

Alicia’s cheeks are warm, and she can’t quite wipe the grin from her face, “I’m a harsh critic,” she says. 

“All the more reason,” Will responds with a wink as he swims away. 

–

Alicia rises from the water with a gasping breath, immediately rubbing at her eyes to get the sting out. 

Will Gardner. 

That’s who sneaked into her subconscious? 

She hadn’t thought about Will in over a decade… memories of that time locked up tight in the back of her mind. 

Why him? Why now?

Alicia needed an anchor. 

Maybe that’s why her mind offered up the image of Will Gardner like a prayer. Will had added color into her life she didn’t even know was missing. 

Only to herself, would she ever admit that she had been attracted to his self-assurance, the boldness he had introduced himself with. 

Alicia had always been good in school, graduating as valedictorian in high school and then graduating at the top of their class in Georgetown. But her insecurities often got in her way. Making her second guess strategy, and even going so far as to make her doubt if she was going into the right profession. 

But Will didn’t struggle with that… and if he ever did, he hid it well. 

He remained confident they’d prevail even as they sometimes fumbled their way through mock court, taking their blunders in stride. Always the consummate optimist, Will constantly strived for better. In turn, it made her believe that she could take just as many risks, and not yield when challenged.  

A simple concept, sure, but he didn’t overthink things the way she did.

Alicia never felt as natural in a courtroom as he did either. Nothing during that time was ever truly easy for her except for being Will’s friend, and she didn’t try to be anything else for fear of losing a friendship that ended up dissolving anyway. In the beginning it hurt too much to think about, it’s why she stored his memory away in the first place. 

But the sudden thought of Will did something else for her now… it gave her new resolve.

–

“Zach,” Alicia whispers as she runs a gentle hand through his hair. 

The boy was deep in sleep, and she rakes her hand through his dark locks as she calls his name a few times before he finally starts to rouse. 

“Mom?” he questions hoarsely, slowly blinking his green eyes open. 

“Hi, honey,” Alicia smiles warmly. 

Zach turns his head slightly to look out the window above his head, it’s still pitch black outside. “Is everything okay?”

Alicia is quick to reassure him, “Yes, yes,” she says. “Everything is fine.”

The teen squints in confusion as he turns over onto his side, “Then, why?” He starts to sit up and Alicia moves back to give him space. 

“What time is it?” 

“It’s five o’clock.” 

“In the morning?” Zach squeaks with a raised brow, and Alicia laughs lightly. 

“Yes,” the mother answers simply. “C’mon, get dressed,” She pats his leg, getting up from the bed. “We’re gonna go for a ride.”

“Now?” he asks, and though he is still confused he kicks his covers off to stand. “Wait, where are we going?” 

“The quicker you get dressed, the sooner you’ll find out. I’m gonna go wake your sister.” 

Alicia heads over to her daughter’s room. 

Her concern for her children has only grown. Their bubbles burst in the blink of an eye, and she was uncertain how to go about repairing it, if such a thing could even be done. 

The fallout from Peter’s scandal has reached them in school, and Alicia can’t do much about it while they’re away from her. The students are taunting them, their teachers are walking on eggshells around them, and they’ve all been ostracized from their neighborhood as well.

Both Zach and Grace idolized their father, and the man had let them down. 

Grace rolls over, hugging her cherished stuffed rabbit. The bunny had previously sat in her reading nook with the rest of her stuffed animals… a few months ago, her daughter had claimed she no longer needed it to sleep but it’s made come back. 

Alicia missed her little girl’s fiery spirit, she just wanted her to talk to her again. 

She takes a seat beside Grace’s body, gently combing her fingers through her light brown hair the same way she did with Zach. 

It doesn’t take her daughter long to wake. 

“Hi, baby,” Alicia’s smile is just as soft. 

“We’re going out,” she answers Grace’s silent question. “Zach’s getting dressed.”

Alicia leans forward to kiss her daughter’s forehead, “Trust me, okay?” she says. “Get dressed.”

In the kitchen, Alicia turns the light on above the stove top, going through the motions of preparing coffee, as she waits for the kids to get ready. She’s not looking forward to the hard conversation that awaits them. But they have to know about the changes that are coming their way, she didn’t want to blindside her children. They’ve had enough of that already to last them a lifetime. 

“Grandma’s gonna freak when she wakes up and we’re not here,” Zach says as he walks into the room followed close behind by his sister. 

Alicia hums as she brings her coffee to her lips, “She’ll be fine,” she shrugs. Not really caring about what her mother-in-law might think, after all, these were still her kids. 

“Ready?” She asks them and they both nod.

Alicia grabs her keys and purse from the kitchen table, “Let’s go.” 

At the door, as they’re putting on their coats, she hands the travel mug of coffee to her son.

Zach looks down at the cup before looking up at his mother with a knit brow. 

“You wanted to try it,” Alicia says. 

“Yeah,” her son eyes her dubiously. “But… seriously?” 

Alicia’s lips curl into a smirk, “Do you want me to change my mind?” 

Zach’s eyes widen, “No,” he drawls, taking a gulp of the drink and savoring it on his tongue before nodding in approval. “It’s bitter,” he observes. 

“It’s got the right amount of sugar,” the mother says. “You don’t need any more than that.”

He tries to hand the cup over to Grace but she wrinkles her nose with a shake of her head, pushing his hand away. 

“Are you gonna tell us where we’re going?” The teen asks once they’re outside. 

“Not yet,” Alicia says. “Last one in the car is a rotten egg!” 

Zach snorts, “Mom, we’re not five anymore. 

Nevertheless, the young boy skips down the porch steps, rushing towards the passenger side door, yelling shotgun as he reaches for the handle. 

Grace and Alicia watch him from the porch. Grace rolling her eyes up at her mother as she watches Zach go, causing her mother to laugh in earnest. 

Alicia wraps an arm around her daughter, hugging her to her side as they climb down the steps and head for the car. 

The drive to Montrose Beach wasn’t a long one, but it was made quicker by the lack of traffic due to the early hour. One look in the rear view mirror told Alicia her daughter had fallen back asleep, so she assumed by the way Zach’s body was turned away from her and into the door, that he had fallen asleep too. 

She’s mentally working through what she wants to tell them, hoping the right words find her. She wanted to take them somewhere familiar, away from the house and Jackie’s satellite ears. She didn’t need or want her input for this. 

Alicia wanted to be as honest as possible about their situation without overwhelming them, and she’s already accepted that her children might be mad at her for some of it. 

“Are you okay, Mom? 

Her son’s voice makes her to jump a little. Not expecting him to be awake. 

She shifts her gaze from the road to meet his, and softens. “Yes, honey,” she tries to smile but it doesn’t reach her eyes and she knows he doesn’t believe her. 

His eyes narrow, confirming about as much. 

The longer they go without talking about it , the more she fears the rift with her children will deepen and that’s the last thing she wants. Their lives have fallen apart so quickly, but they’re still young enough where they can correct course. She needs to support them more, she can’t be another person to fail them.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Zach says lowly, honestly. 

Oh . 

Alicia lets out a ragged exhale, her eyes instantly welling up with tears that make it hard to see the road. She grips the wheel a little tighter as she waits for the strain in her chest to pass. After a few moments, she reaches for her son’s hand over the center console, bringing it into her lap. She squeezes his fingers before pressing her lips to the back of his hand. 

“Uh,” she stutters. “I will be, alright?” the boy only squeezes her hand back in response. 

 –

Alicia watches as her children walk ahead of her along the concrete path, looking for the perfect place to sit and watch the sunrise in a few minutes. 

There’s a small group of early birds already there. Out and about on the pathway as well but they pay them no mind. 

She can’t hear what her kids are talking about, though from whatever it is, Zach is the only one carrying the conversation. She’s sure Grace will eventually talk to them again, but she missed the sound of her daughter’s voice now . The little girl is so vibrant and lively and funny. She wanted to see her laugh again. And yet, though she’s not speaking, Grace had not lost an ounce of her sass. Never one to keep her true feelings from her face, Alicia hadn’t missed the glares she’d sent her grandmother’s way whenever the older woman said something the young girl did not like. Which was often. 

It was another thing she would have to try to talk to her daughter about. 

Alicia catches up to them just as the sun begins to break, and sits in the little spot they’ve left for her between them. 

No one speaks as the sun rises higher up in the sky, Zach taking sips of his bitter coffee, which she had intentionally kept bitter. Alicia would only indulge his curiosity so much, but he definitely didn’t need more sugar. 

She sighs deeply, scrambling to get her thoughts together. Alicia didn’t feel prepared enough yet, but that seemed to be the running theme of her life lately.

“Guys,” she starts. “We need to talk about some things.” 

“Duh,” Zach says beside her and she snaps her head to look at him, only for him to shrug sheepishly in return. “We figured we’d have to talk about it eventually.” 

Alicia’s eyes bounce between the two kids before she deflates a little. They seemed… more ready to talk about it than she was, and that genuinely floored her. She thought this would be a lot harder. 

When did that happen?  

Maybe they were a lot stronger than she had given them credit for. 

“I’m sorry, I–”

Zach rears back, affronted. “Why?” He asks. “It’s not your fault Dad’s an ass-”

He stops at the hard stare she gives him, thinning his lips for a moment and shrinking. 

Amending, and with less harshness in his voice, he says, “It’s not your fault.” 

Alicia smooths out her features, “I know,” she exhales. “I know it’s not my fault Zach,” she pauses. “I’m just– I’m sorry he did this to you… us.” She fights off the urge to cry and this time she’s successful. 

“Are you going to get divorced?” Zach asks. 

That… Alicia didn’t have an answer to. There’s so much she has to figure out for the three of them first, she hasn't factored a potential divorce into that equation. Her feelings on the matter were complicated . 

Not that long ago, she would have told anyone who asked, that they were in love. She thought they were happy. She trusted Peter for so long, enough not to hurt her or their children. But that trust has been severely eroded and she’s uncertain that it can be fixed. 

They were still having sex at the same time as he was fucking his hookers. The thought of him being with other women while also being with her made her sick. The nerve of Peter to tell her he loves her one moment and then in the next, he’s taking calls from his mistress after having just finished making love to her… so far, no amount of scrubbing has made Alicia feel clean.  

She thinks she’ll never get over the panic of having to wait for STD results. 

Alicia doesn’t tell her kids all of that though, instead she redirects, “How would you two feel about it if we did?” She bumps her daughter’s shoulder with hers, “And you can chime in too,” she tells her. “There are no wrong answers.” 

At this point, Alicia would rather hear Grace say anything than having her brother speak for her. 

Any decision she made moving forward would have to be what was best for them. 

Zach purses his lips as he thinks, and Grace just stares off at the beach in front of them. 

“I think you should leave him,” the young girl suddenly speaks. 

Both Alicia and Zach quickly turn their heads to look at her, shock mirrored on their faces. 

“He is an ass,” Grace’s face flushes red with anger and she wipes at an errant tear that escapes her eye. She doesn’t look at her mother or brother as she continues. “If he cared about us, he wouldn’t have done this. He hurt us. He hurt you.” 

The pain Alicia felt in her chest earlier is back and stronger than it was before. Her heart felt as though it was cracking. 

“He–he does care about you,” she finds herself saying. The words ring hollow to her ears, reflexive. In spite of how devastated she feels over Peter’s betrayal of their family, however, she can’t bring herself to tell them otherwise. He was still their father. 

Alicia swallows thickly, throwing an arm around Grace to hug her to her side. She’s delighted her daughter finally spoke, but she’s also aggrieved by the pain in the young girl’s voice. 

Zach clears his throat, and she brings her attention to him but doesn’t loosen her grip on Grace. 

“Uh, can I say it now?” 

Alicia clicks her tongue, relenting. “Fine, yes,” she tells him. “Go ahead.”

“Dad’s an asshole,” he frowns. “If he loved us, he wouldn’t have done that.”

“Hey,” Alicia reaches for his chin, “Dad does love you.” 

The hurt on Zach’s face is plain as day, but she still feels like she’s gotta remind him. 

Zach huffs out a breath, “I know you have to say that Mom. But he’s sure got a crummy way of showing it.”

Alicia agrees with him there. 

“This whole thing just blows,” he adds. “And the kids at school act like it’s our fault Dad did those things.”

She takes that as her opening to bring up the next thing on her mind, deciding to move the subject away from Peter for now. 

“About that,” Alicia says. “That’s another thing I wanted to discuss.”

The kids look at her expectantly, and she already knows she’ll be met with pushback soon, so she starts with the easiest bullet point in her mind first.  

“We’re going to have to make some changes.”

“Changes?” Grace asks, warily. “What kind of changes?”

“First of all, I’m going back to work.” 

At the stunned faces she gets in response, Alicia chokes out a laugh. “Well, don’t look so surprised,” she shoves at her kids playfully and they giggle. “I did have a whole life before either of you were born.”

“You’re going to be a lawyer again right?,” her daughter says excitedly. “That’s so cool.” 

Alicia nods, “Yes. I’m going to try, anyway,” her shoulders rise nervously as she exhales. “It’s probably changed a lot since I’ve been there.”

The world had kept turning as Alicia opted out. And while she recognized what a privilege it was to be able to stay home to raise her kids, she also realized her contacts outside of her husband were limited, if not, non-existent. She hadn’t kept in touch with anyone from her old life. 

Now, she’ll be entering into a workforce full of twenty-something recent Law School graduates all vying for the same under-paid entry level position. 

Her license was current… that wasn’t an issue. Alicia had made sure to take the necessary course work every year to keep it active even though she hadn’t been practicing, on the off chance that that might be the year she finally went back to work. 

Peter was a rising star in the Democratic Party, so her career took a backseat to his. She hadn’t intended to stay away from law forever, but the higher her husband climbed up the political ladder, the further away she got from her own aspirations. Eventually, she just stopped bringing it up altogether.

Alicia had been out of the game for so long… she was barely in it when she left. She hasn’t stepped foot in a courtroom in twelve years, she didn’t know if she was truly brave enough. 

But she no longer had a choice. She couldn’t keep hiding. 

“Are you scared?” 

Alicia stares out at the water for a moment before meeting Grace’s empathetic gaze. “Yes, honey,” she answers honestly. “A little.”

She pulls the little girl into her side again, pressing her lips to the side of her head. 

“I think you’ll make a kickass lawyer, Mom.” 

Alicia snorts, “I think you’ve hit your quota for today, bud.”

“Fair enough,” Zach nods once, acquiescing. 

“There’s more,” Her eyes flutter closed for a moment as she braces herself for the next part of the conversation. 

“We’re downsizing,” She starts slowly. “I can’t afford our mortgage on my own, so we’re  gonna have to sell the house.”

Alicia chances a glance at her kids, and was met with glum looks in return. 

Making the decision to sell the house had not been painless, but it was officially out of her price range. There were so many memories wrapped up in those walls. It was the home she brought her children to from the hospital, where her babies took their first steps. She was going to miss all its random quirks no one else in her family cared for, like the rickety staircase, and Grace’s broken doorknob that was never fixed. 

Grace’s eyes widen in realization, her voice hitches, “Wait, if we have to move then–” 

Alicia sighs heavily. “You’ll finish out what’s left of this year but–”

“We’re switching schools,” Zach cuts her off with a groan, getting up to pace in front of them. Some of the early morning runners on the trail move out of his way. 

“I knew you weren’t going to like it.” 

The teenager stops in front of her, a somber expression on his face. “It sucks.” 

“We shouldn’t have to move.” Grace grumbles, kicking her shoe against the pavement. 

Alicia tilts her head back, tired. “I know, I’m sorry but we–” 

“Have to make changes,” the kids finish for her, and she resists the urge to laugh in spite of how morose she feels. 

Zach moves back to sit next to her again, and Alicia rubs his back comfortingly. “I know you guys like your school, separately of what is going on right now. I know it’s not fair. But we’ll make it work. You’ll make new friends.”

Grace draws back to give her mother a doubtful look. It’d been hard for the little girl to make friends at her Middle School when she first started, often coming home and refusing to talk about her day. But eventually, she had found her niche and her group of girlfriends. 

Alicia feels the hole in her heart getting bigger at the thought that she’s taking it all away from them. Pushing past the lump in her throat she repeats more firmly, “You’ll make news friends.”

They each fall into a lull after that, getting lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes as the sun brightens up and the pathway gets more congested. 

“What about Grandma? She’s kind of unbearable, Mom.” Grace breaks the silence. 

Zach nods in agreement, lifting his eyes to his mother. “She won’t go quietly.”

Alicia chuckles, “I’ll figure out what to do about Jackie. Don’t worry,” she says, kissing both of her children’s heads. 

–

Alicia Florrick didn’t think she could feel any worse after being publicly humiliated on national television. 

Surely, she couldn’t get any lower than that. 

But no. 

No… she could, in fact, feel worse. 

Sitting in Mr. Acocella’s office, learning that she had been intentionally misled. The job she thought she had gotten was not real, at least not for her . Instead, they were offering her an unpaid internship. Her name, potentially too distracting. 

Frankly, she felt more like a sideshow than anything else in that moment. 

Wells & Brolin had been the only firm to give her the time of day after weeks of fruitless searches; they were the only ones to call her back for a real interview. Alicia hadn’t expected much, the First Year Associate position was perfect for someone like her. She was willing to do the grunt work to get herself back up. 

Alicia felt the desperation clawing her throat, she couldn’t afford to be so picky but she also knew she had more experience than an intern. 

Her home sold quicker than she expected and for less money than what they’d paid for it. The new owners had let them live there while she looked for another place to live but Alicia didn’t want to take advantage of their good will for to long, so she packed up what she and the kids could take with them as quickly as possible and put the rest in storage. 

Staying with Jackie, however temporary, had not been ideal, but she had no place else to go. Her kids had not been happy about that . And now that Grace had found her voice again, she was using it to push back against her grandmother. She needed to get them all out of there soon . 

Wells & Brolin was like a lifeline. 

Getting an offer meant she could afford an apartment for her and her children. Having that offer rescinded in the same week was like having the rug pulled out from under her all over again. 

–

“Mr. Acocella, I made plans on that understanding. I made–financial overlays.” 

“I’m sorry. I–I told the partners. They were worried about your last name. They don’t want you here as an Associate.” 

“I need a paycheck.” 

“I’m sorry.”

–

Alicia wasn’t superstitious, but in retrospect, she ponders if she shouldn’t have celebrated so early. Perhaps she had unknowingly jinxed herself. 

But she was happy. It’d been weeks of nothing… calls that went unanswered, applications that went nowhere. With Wells & Brolin Alicia had finally found that stability she had been so desperate for. 

She found an apartment she loved, one she knew she could turn into a home. It was spacious enough for three of them, right near the Loop without feeling like the city’s nightlife was on top of them, and it was in a good school district. 

It had all been too good to be true. 

And now she was stuck. Unable to get out of her lease without a hefty penalty. The call with her realtor, Marina, proved ineffective. 

Alicia leans heavily against the washer and dryer unit sitting in the middle of what was supposed to be her new kitchen. She rubs a tired hand over her forehead, the pressure in her chest spreading through her shoulders, making her ears ring. 

 She’s back at square one. 

Alicia closes her eyes to stop the room from spinning, taking deep breaths as she counts to ten. She tries focusing on remaining upright. 

A few more inhales… and suddenly she’s no longer in her apartment. 

She’s back in an elevator at Wells & Brolin, going home after being offered a job. 

–

“Hey.” 

“Hey.” 

Seeing Will Gardner again for the first time in a decade had been… unexpected. In the years since Alicia’s been back in Chicago since graduating Law School, the chances of them running into each other were slim to none. Neither ran in the same circles, she was hardly in the city and, as far as she knew, he would have no reason to come to Highland Park. 

Alicia had been so excited about getting her new job, the interception of the elevator door closing caught her off guard. 

“Alicia Florrick,” Will said as he climbed in the lift with her. He sounded just as surprised as she felt. “I haven’t seen you since Georgetown.” 

“Another life ago,” she says, stunned. 

Here he was… in the flesh and right in front of her. 

Alicia takes half a step back, imperceptible to him. It felt like deja vu, almost. Not that she would ever tell him or even admit to it to anyone else out loud, but just a few weeks ago she had seen him in her dreams, and now she was close enough to touch him. 

Unbelievable. 

And God, did he look good. 

She didn’t though… touch him. She kept her hands firmly on her purse strap. Hands getting clammier the longer he stood there talking to her. 

“You work here?” She asks in wonder. 

She’d only met Mr. Acocella so far, what were the odds that Will would work in this office too. 

“In this building? No. On Madison. What about you?” 

“I just got a job,” Alicia responds eagerly. She would have told a stranger if they asked. 

“You did? Really? Where?” 

“Wells and Brolin.”

“That’s a good firm. Congratulations.”

It was small talk, and yet Will had sounded so genuine in their interaction. 

Alicia didn’t know the man Will had become since the last time she spoke to him. But she does recall how easy it was to talk to him, be around him… and that hadn’t changed.  

Their conversation lasted less than five minutes, and already she felt lighter. 

The bell dinged too soon. 

“You going to the garage?”

“Yes. You?” 

“Deposition.” Will responds. “It was nice seeing you,” he says as he moves to get off on his floor. 

He puts his hand in front of the door, however, before he can fully leave. “Hey, uh,” he stammers. She can see him working through his thoughts rapidly, as if deciding on what he wants to add. “Sorry about all the crap with your husband.” 

She was taken aback by his candor. Staggered that he hadn’t mentioned it sooner or asked her for more. 

That hadn’t been her experience lately. 

“Thanks,” Alicia says. Can he hear the relief in her tone? “It’ll die down.” 

“It will,” he says seriously before disappearing. 

For a second, she believes it. 

Just as the doors were closing, a hand rushes out to forcefully stop them and again, she’s surprised to see Will standing there. 

“Call me sometime,” he says. “Stern, Lockheart and Gardner.”

“Hey,” she says cheerily, proud. “You got top billing!”

Will’s eyes sparkle as he smirks, “I’m an impressive person.”

Alicia’s lips curve up into a smile, “I never doubted it for a minute.”

–

Alicia straightens out her back, eyes moving around the empty room. 

Will Gardner, once again the topic of her subconscious. 

She’s not surprised Will is running the show now. He had always been impressive, and she was very proud of her old friend for making it to the top. She always believed he could. 

Alicia Googled him when she got back to Jackie’s later that day. Finding his office number and writing it down. It was somewhere at the bottom of her purse. 

He had told her to call him, but she wasn’t sure what she intended to do with his number. 

Would he even remember? Lawyers were busy people. 

What was she going to do, ask him out for coffee? Play catch up? Beg for a job? 

Call me sometime.  

Did he mean it?  

At the very least, maybe he can put in a good word for her… their history had to be worth something . Maybe he can put her in contact with someone who’s hiring. 

Alicia walks to her purse on the counter, and digs through it until she finds the piece of paper with his number on it. 

She hesitates before reaching for her phone. 

Call me sometime. 

The words echo like a mantra in her head. 

She couldn’t beg for a job, could she? She had just told him she’d been hired somewhere. 

Maybe if she explained her situation, he’d be empathetic. 

Her vision blurs slightly as she dials the number, and she takes a few more deep breaths to gain composure. Clearing her throat so she can be able to speak properly. 

Will was feeling like her only hope at this point. 

Waiting to be transferred to his line was a torturous few seconds. 

“Hello, Will? It’s Alicia,” she smiles shakily even though he can’t see her. “You said I should call sometime? This is me calling.”

Chapter Text

It was one of those rare Thursday nights where everything about Alicia Cavanaugh’s day had been perfect . 

Her schedule consisted of only two lectures, starting bright and early with Constitutional Law at 7:45AM followed by Criminal Procedure at Noon. 

Alicia’s Criminal Procedure class had been canceled, a note posted to the door informing any student that dropped by. And with that being her last class of the day, it meant she was free to do what she pleased.

Briefly, the law student contemplated going to the library. Her flashcards for her Evidence course weren’t going to write themselves. But it had already been a long week, her flashcards could stand to wait another day. 

Resolved, Alicia turned to look at her fellow classmate and best friend, Will Gardner. One hand on her hip and the other hand up to her face to block out the sun. 

“Gordon canceled class,” she says unnecessarily, as they had both read the same note. “We’re getting lunch off campus today. My treat.” She grabs his arm to pull him away from the door. 

“Whoa,” Will singsongs, his tone airy. “That’s very generous of you Cavanaugh.” He throws his arm around her shoulders as they walk. 

Alicia clicks her tongue, and then tilts her head up as she nods. “Of course. I'm a very generous person.” With a cheeky grin, she adds. “But you’re driving, Gardner.”

“Fair,” the boy laughs.   

Now… several hours after lunch, Alicia sits at home. Her feet folded underneath her on the couch, a cold glass of Chardonnay on the side table, and a borrowed copy of Play It As It Lays by Joan Didon open in her lap. 

She’s grateful to finally be reading something other than a Law School textbook. While  she finds the main character’s passivity and self-destructive tendencies frustrating, making it hard to root for her, Alicia is still committed to getting to the end of her story. 

A glass shattering, followed by a string of curse words pulls her focus away from the book. 

“Shit.”

Alicia stares off into space for a moment, and then her eyes glide in the direction of her roommate’s bedroom. 

“Shit, shit, shit.”

She leans her body to one side, “Nina,” she intones slowly. “You doing okay in there?”

Her roommate groans in response, and then says, “If Jac calls, tell her I’m on my way.”

Alicia nods even though the other woman can’t see her, she’s covered for her friend enough times to know this would go. “I’m already running late and I just spilled makeup all over my fucking skirt.” 

“Okay,” the law student answers simply. 

“I’ll just tell her I got stuck in traffic.” 

Alicia raises a brow, “Do you think she’ll believe that?” 

“No,” her roommate exhales with a loud laugh. “But that’s what I’m telling her anyway.”

Alicia chuckles, shaking her head as she goes back to her book. She’s five more pages in by the time Nina comes hopping out of her room, shoving her feet into her shoes. 

“How do I look?’ the other woman asks, rushing into the living to show off her outfit… a black pinafore dress over a white button down men’s shirt. Her dark curly hair pinned up and away from her pretty tawny beige face. 

“Perfect, as always,” Alicia smiles broadly. 

Nina McDonald is tall and rather statuesque, Alicia thought she was too beautiful to be hiding her looks in Law School. But the other woman insisted her attitude would serve her better in a courtroom, and after watching her performance in mock trial during 1L the year before, Alicia had no doubts she’d be a kickass lawyer.  

“Okay,” Nina blows her a kiss, “I’m off. I won’t be home later.” 

“I didn’t think you would be,” Alicia responds, amused. 

Her roommate dashes off to grab her coat and purse from the hook near the door, and just as she’s reaching for the doorknob, the door bursts open and she yelps.

“Jesus, Will!” Nina exclaims. “Don’t you ever knock?” 

Alicia’s eyes never leave her book as she mutters absently, “He has a key.” 

Nina rolls her honey eyes at that, as Will says, “Why don’t you ever lock your door?”

The woman just shrugs as she puts on her coat, ignoring his question which has long since become rhetorical.

“Hot date tonight, Nina?” Will asks, changing the subject. 

Nina’s lips pull up brazenly, “Yep,” she answers. “How do I look?” She opens her coat and does a little twirl. 

“Oh my God,” Alicia guffaws, whirling her body around on the couch to look at her friends. “Nina!” She admonishes, “If you don’t leave now, then you’ll really be late and I’ll tell Jac the truth.” 

“Ugh,” They stare at each other in a mock glare before the tall woman breaks it. “Traitor,” she huffs. 

Nina lets out an exasperated breath, “Fine, yes. I am officially, officially late,” she huffs. “But if Jac wants to marry me this is the future she’ll have to contend with, looking this good takes time.” 

She blows a kiss at Will and hurries out the door. 

Once they’re alone, Will walks around to stand on the side of the couch, “Hi,” he says demurely. 

“Hey,” Alicia cants her head, smiling wide as her green eyes gleam. 

The aspiring lawyer couldn’t have asked for a better ending to her night. 

Getting Will twice to herself in one day had become an anomaly lately… with the semester ramping up with coursework and their independent clerkship positions, they hadn’t had much time to hang out outside of a class or study room in the library. 

And sure , it’s only been a few hours but… she missed him . 

Will sits on the center table in front of her. His knees brushing up against hers, and Alicia manages not to shiver at the thrill she gets from his mere proximity. 

“I ordered Chinese takeout before I came over.”

Alicia’s lips curve upward, “Great. Because I have wine.” 

Will gingerly puts his hands on her knees, squeezing her gently as he inches his body forward. Alicia places her hands over his, entwining their fingers. 

Physical touch. 

When that became their thing, Alicia did not know. But since unlocking this new phase of… whatever they were , she couldn’t imagine being without it. 

This is what Will and Alicia did. Teeter on the line between friendship and flirtation. It would be maddening to anyone else, if they both weren’t willing participants in this weird mating ritual they seemed stuck in, as Nina so helpfully pointed out to Alicia one night. 

Alicia isn’t entirely oblivious… though neither have acknowledged the burgeoning feelings between them.

Did she want to? 

Maybe. 

She’s hesitant to think about them too deeply, however. Unable to keep her mind from conjuring up all the ways she’s likely to screw it up. Her track record with relationships is not great. She didn’t have much experience to speak of, but the men she had dated left much to be desired. 

Alicia’s parents own failed marriage and ensuing relationship, which at times is still acrimonious… a union she once revered, left a lot of destruction in its wake. She’s averse to falling into a relationship like that: one so seemingly full of love and happiness only for it to end spiteful and bitter. 

Her friendship with Will is too precious to her. She likes him too much, cares about him so immensely, she couldn’t stand the thought of him hating her if something did happen between them and it blew up in their face. 

And yet… the way she craves his closeness makes it hard to ignore the fondness blooming in her chest whenever they’re together.

It’s the little things. Like, locking pinky fingers in class… the ghost of Will’s hand on her arm while out at a bar with their friends. His arm propped comfortably on the back of her chair, not quite touching her but she could still feel the warmth of his fingers on her skin. 

In turn, it’s the simple pleasure Alicia gets from feeling him react to her touch as well. The way he’ll clasp her hand, threading their fingers underneath the table if she grazed his knee. 

She always relishes in the way his palm fits perfectly into hers, like he’s meant to be there. Simply holding her hand. 

Maybe Nina is right. 

Will and Alicia are stuck. 

They’ve never talked about how they got here or when this started happening, but Alicia feared words would only muddle it somehow. 

But why is she still fighting so hard… when the fight is already lost.

A knock draws their attention back to the front door, “Food’s here,” Will says, getting up to collect their items. 

Alicia meets him in the kitchen, grabbing two plates from the cupboard and a glass to pour him some wine. “What did you get?” She asks. 

“The classics,” Will answers, opening the takeout bags. “Vegetable Chow Mein and Kung Pao Tofu for you, and White Rice and Sesame Chicken for me.” 

Alicia nods approvingly as he dishes out their food, “There’s also a side of Crab Rangoon and Spring Rolls.” 

He hands her a pair of chopsticks and pulls out a fork for himself, and Alicia croaks out a laugh. “You’ll get the hang of them some day,” she pats a gentle hand between his shoulder blades. 

The law students settle into a comfortable silence as they eat. Alicia’s back is flush against the arm of the couch, while Will sits opposite her with her feet in his lap. After a few bites, Will holds out his plate to her, already anticipating that she might ask for some of the chicken on his plate, as she was prone to do whenever they had dinner together. 

Alicia hums, appreciatively. “Thanks,” she beams at him. Will only rolls his eyes affectionately in response. 

“So,” the young man starts. “You know those Little Leaguers I coach?” 

“Yes,” Alicia says, her lips curving into a small smile. 

Two days out of the week, Will helped manage the Capitol City Little League team. A co-ed group of five to seven year-olds who… from what Alicia has gleaned from occasionally sitting in on their practices, are there for a good time more than anything else. 

But Will genuinely enjoyed it, crafting the young minds of those who might just be the next generation of great ball players , as he liked to call it. He couldn’t really be sure any of the kids on his team would go on to make it in the big league, but he liked being able to share his skill and deep knowledge of his beloved sport. 

“What about them?” 

“Well, one of the players on the team, his dad works at the Pentagon,” Will stares straight ahead, avoiding her gaze. “The Montreal Expos are playing the Baltimore Orioles in a special tournament next Friday at Robert F. Kennedy stadium, and he gave all the coaches tickets.” 

There’s a hint of nervousness in his voice, and she wishes he would just look at her. 

Alicia nudges his thigh with her foot, “Will, that’s great,” she says. “You told me you haven’t gotten out to a game yet this season.”

The other student shakes his head, “Yes,” he takes a bite of the Crab Rangoon on his plate, chews and then says, “So, I’ve got two tickets and thought… do you want to go? I mean– I know you said you’ve never been– ” 

“If this is your way of asking me out, Will Gardner, you’re not doing a very good job at it.”

The words suspend between them, tumbling out of her mouth before she’s had a chance to stop them. 

Maybe it’s the second glass of wine making its way through her bloodstream that’s got Alicia feeling more courageous than she typically would. She’s not sure what possessed her to say that, but she makes no attempt to backtrack either. 

“Oh,” Will clears his throat, straightening out his posture. “It doesn’t–have… if it’s not what you–maybe… it could be?” 

He finally makes eye contact with her, brown eyes hesitant, but Alicia detects a hint of hope in them as well. 

It’s the bit of hope she sees in them, that she clings too.  

Still, the law student can’t help but ask, “And you’re sure you want to go with me? I know nothing about Baseball.”

Will huffs out a breath, then launches into an explanation of his reasoning, “That night at Tombs… you said you’ve never been to a game, and– ”

Alicia furrows her brow, thinking. “That night at To– ” she starts to say, cutting herself off as she suddenly remembers. Her eyes flutter closed as her memory recall kicks in, the murmur of her heartbeat only grows louder in her ears, and her stomach dips and swirls into weightlessness. 

It’s three beats before she’s finally ready to open her eyes again. “Will– that was months ago.” 

That night at Tombs had started out like any other Wednesday.

It’s become commonplace for them and their friends to steal away for a few hours to drink, chat about current events or whatever else was going on in the world, and forget about their daily stresses for a while. 

Tombs was a hot spot among Georgetown students and locals. And that night, Alicia recalls, was particularly crowded. 

There was no elbow room as they stood shoved together. Shoulder to shoulder, with little space left to adjust their positions at the bar. Their group had split up and she had lost track as to where everyone had ended up, but was standing with Will. 

The cacophony of noise made it hard to hear the other speak, but they kept up the effort. Somewhere along their lengthy conversation, the details of which Alicia does not remember, they got on the subject of bucket lists.

“Wait, wait–” Will says, raising his hand to stop her. 

“Alicia, hold on– you’re from Chicago,” he says, his tone infused with disbelief, and she only nods in acknowledgement.

“The sports capital of the world,” the young man continues, “And you’re telling me you’ve never been to a Baseball game?” 

Alicia shrugs, unfazed, “God, listen to yourself,” she pauses as she takes a sip of her beer. “The sports capital of the world– according to whom?” 

Will gives her an astonished look, as though she’s sprouted a second head. “According to– well, me!” 

The young woman barks out a laugh, “Jeez, you know, I figured I’d go someday. But we just weren’t sports people,” she says. “I’ll go eventually… it’s just not at the top of my list.”  

“I just–I can’t believe it,” Will says, genuinely stunned. 

After a few seconds of silence, he breathes out, “Wow.” Will brings his beer glass up to his lips as he says, “Not even one game?”

Alicia shakes her head, “Nope,” she responds, popping the p in the word.

She quite enjoys stumping her companion, she giggles heartily, and the sound comes off like wind chimes to Will’s ears. 

He stares at her for a long beat, smitten. “Your laugh,” he says. 

Alicia tenses, green eyes clouding over bashfully. “What about it?” 

“Nothing,” Will says lowly, his lips pulling up adoringly. “It’s wonderful.” 

Alicia’s shoulders fall as she relaxes, and she’s suddenly very grateful for the sheer amount of people at the bar, who are, in part, keeping her standing. Still, she can’t help the blush that licks at her cheeks, and the warm lighting overhead makes her feel extra flush. 

She drops her head for a second, her long hair shielding her from him. “Thanks,” she whispers. 

Alicia had fixated on that singular moment at Tombs so much. Turning it over and over in her dreams so often, she had begun to question if it had even happened. 

And Will… recalling something she told him, a random fact about herself, which she considered rather pedestrian, touched her so deeply she needed a moment to calm her racing heart. 

“Yeah,” Will says, his tone light. “The opportunity came up, and I thought it could be something we could do–I mean, the game is on Friday but– ”

“Okay,” she breathes out, cutting off his adorable stammering. A smirk slowly spreads across her face then, dimples and all. “But you’re driving.” 

“Of course,” Will agrees easily. 

The smile he gives her in return is so radiant it lassos around her soul, and Alicia’s never been more happy to be sitting down. 

For a maybe… could be kind of date, Alicia has surely spent more time standing in front of a mirror than she cares to think about. 

She couldn’t figure out what to wear, and that was troubling her. 

Too bad Nina isn’t home to tell her to snap out of it. She could use some of the other woman’s brand of tough love right about now. 

Of course , Alicia didn’t tell her friend she was going out with Will either, and she’s contrite over it because she can only imagine what the other girl’s reaction to them would be. Especially after having a front row seat to the spectacle of… whatever they were . 

At the same time, Alicia wanted to keep this date to herself for a little while longer. Last Thursday still felt surreal, and she wasn’t ready for her bubble to burst just yet. 

Nevertheless… Alicia is on her third outfit choice of the night, it looked exactly the same as the last two she tried on, and she’s suddenly regretting not telling Nina about tonight. 

The difference between the previous version of her outfit, and the one she’s wearing now, is that she changed her black Tommy Hilfiger t-shirt to a white Tommy Hilfiger tank top. 

She bangs her head lightly against the mirror of her armoire. 

“You’re overthinking this, Alicia,” she groans. 

Overthinking is very on brand for her. 

Who would have thought a maybe… could be date would be so stressful. 

The jingling of keys in the front lock announce Will’s arrival, and she quickly turns to look at the alarmingly large pile of clothes on her bed. 

“Leesh,” Will calls out to her. 

“Bedroom,” she answers reflexively, then quietly curses under her breath. There is no time to change again now. 

“Hey,” Will says jovially as he enters her room. “Ready to go?” 

“I guess,” Alicia answers, stepping out from behind the closet door. “This is fine right?” 

Will takes in the sight of her in blue Levi’s jeans and white tank top. He shakes his head slowly, “Yeah,” he says. “You’re beautiful.” 

Alicia resists the urge to melt at the compliment as she looks away bashfully. Every time he says something like that it does a funny thing to her heart, and she’d really like to make it to twenty-five this summer. 

Will shifts his gaze to the heap of clothes on her bed, and smirks. She turns to see what he’s staring at, and she rolls her eyes. “Don’t,” Alicia says curtly. 

“I didn’t say anything,” Will chuckles, a teasing smile on his face. 

Alicia walks out of the room toward her purse and coat on the rack by the door. 

“Don’t we have somewhere to be?” 

“Yep,” Will says eagerly. “Let’s go, rookie.” 

The energy at Robert F. Kennedy stadium is electric as Amy Grant’s “Baby, Baby” croons loudly over the loudspeakers. Alicia didn’t have much to compare it to but on the ride over, Will did his best to prep her on the kind of vibe she should expect from witnessing a live game. 

Between her best friend’s excitement, the man practically vibrating as he led her around the dome, and the lively crowd of families and fanatics alike, it didn’t take much for her to feel the effects of that crackling magic Will had told her about in the car. 

He holds her hand as he guides her to their seats, and she doesn’t want to let go.  

“Wow,” Will whistles in awe, “Your first game and we’re sitting behind third base.” His eyes sparkle, his voice is full of whimsy. 

Alicia is fascinated at seeing this side of him, so happy and carefree. She imagines what the kid version of Will Gardner was like at his first ever ball game, and the image her mind supplies is not much different from the man standing before her now. 

“You’re one lucky girl Alicia Cavanaugh, we’ll get to see everything from here.” 

In truth, Alicia didn’t care so much about where they were sitting but she trusts Will’s judgment on this. She does, however, feel quite lucky tonight. Though not because of where she is but rather who she’s with. 

She tilts her head up to look at him tenderly. “Yeah, I guess I am.” 

Will studies her face as if trying to make up his mind about something, and her eyes drop to his lips… when did he get so close? If he moved half an inch closer, he could kiss her. And Alicia would let him do it. 

She’s overcome by the sudden need to know what his lips would feel like on hers. 

Will gives her a knowing, crooked smile and the rush of heat to Alicia’s cheeks is instant. She feels a touch of disappointment, however, when he doesn’t kiss her. But the matter is short lived. 

Will leans into her, nuzzling his nose against hers, and her own nose crinkles cutely in response to the tickling sensation. 

Any shred of disappointment she might have felt moments ago, is replaced by the warmth flooding through her. The gesture is so painstakingly sweet, tears prick at the corners of her eyes. Alicia melts at the gentle brush of his lips on her forehead, the thumping of her heartbeat is so erratic, she’s afraid it might actually leap out of her chest and onto the field. 

Oh… to hell with twenty-five , Alicia thinks. If dying by Will’s touch is all it takes, she’d readily go. 

The pads of his thumbs graze at the apples of her cheeks, and Alicia leans into his touch briefly before she’s finally able to open her eyes. When she meets his gaze, she knows her green eyes are wet but doesn’t attempt to play it off. 

Maybe there really is something to this magic Will keeps talking about, after all. 

There’s only one word that comes to mind for the way Will is looking at her now, and it’s as terrifying as it is invigorating. 

It’s the kind of look that settles deep in her bones, and it makes her nervous in a way she’s unsure she wants to unpack just yet. In spite of that, however, it’s the only word that truly resonates. The very feeling Alicia has spent over a year running from.

But she’s getting tired. She’s running out of places to hide. 

Alicia is only temporarily alleviated when Will doesn't remark on their little moment at all. Did she want him too? 

She rebukes herself internally. It’s too much. 

Instead, Will just winks at her. His brown eyes shine and she finds it hard to concentrate as his mouth begins to move as he speaks. 

“Do you want a hotdog?” 

Her brain is slow to catch up, “Huh?” She asks. 

Will chuckles, “Sit, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna track someone down. It’s tradition.”

He walks around her towards the stairs but before he leaves their section, he turns on his heel to face her. This time he doesn’t hesitate when kisses her forehead. “And Peanuts,” he tells her. “You can’t watch a game without peanuts.”

At that moment, Alicia decides she might as well accept her fate. 

She’s lured by the idea of how their night will pan out.  

Alicia quickly learns Baseball is an exercise in patience, but she didn’t mind. 

She is there for the experience.

Or at least that’s what she keeps telling herself. 

It was a friendly game, which meant there was no real rivalry tonight. But The Expos are representing D.C., and they were the fan favorites to win. Getting swept up in the fervor of the crowd was easy, as fans were both loud in their expressions of support and dismay.

It helped that her companion is so well-versed, giving her a crash course on what she needed to know without getting caught up in semantics. Alicia was able to follow along well enough without knowing all the particulars, and by the fifth inning she was up on her feet along with Will and the rest of them.

Will’s knowledge of the sport is vast, and that in and of itself is charming. 

Alicia knew that by the end of the night, she’s likely to retain only half of the information he’s giving her. But his enthusiasm, paired with the fun facts he’d share, unprompted, about random players on the team is enthralling. More often than not, she found herself watching him more closely than anything happening out on the field. 

Somewhere between the sixth and seventh inning, Will leans into her ear and asks, “Are you having a good time? If not, we can cut out early and– ”

Alicia shakes her head vigorously, “No, no,” she says hurriedly. “It’s just– ”

“Too much?” Will purses his lips, “My sisters used to hate Baseball season growing up, I think they thought I was annoying,” he chuckles through his rambling. “I mean, these guys aren’t the Cubs but they’ve been playing pretty good this year.”

Alicia smiles softly, “No way, Gardner. I’m invested.” 

Will snickers as he puts his arm around her shoulder, hugging her into his side. “Alright,” he says, pressing his lips to her temple. “But if you don’t want to stay till the end, just say so.” 

Alicia hums in acknowledgement but she had no plans to leave. She tips her head back to rest against his arm, “Nah,” she wrinkles her nose, “I think I’m good right here.” 

Will Gardner is a man in love. 

And… when he’s honest with himself, he’d confess he’s known it for a long time. 

Will always believed love would find him eventually. Like most people who desired it, he figured he’d meet the woman of his dreams and settle down someday. He had no insight into how it would happen or when , he just knew that it would. 

Growing up, the boy held a healthy skepticism on the concept of love at first sight . He couldn’t say for certain the notion didn’t exist but he didn’t fawn over it in the same way that his sisters did with their romance novels. And as the only boy born between two girls, he was self-aware enough to know his sister’s didn’t care for his opinion on the subject either. 

But… it couldn’t be that easy, right? There had to be more to it than that. 

How could a simple look determine the depth of someone’s affection?

And then, Will met Alicia Cavanaugh.

And it dawned on him, yes… it really could be that easy.  

The night he first laid eyes on her, at the Georgetown Law School Orientation Pool Party, felt like kismet. 

Alicia was standing on the opposite side of the pool, while he was on the diving board waiting for his turn to cannonball among a group of eager divers. 

He hadn’t seen her before… she wasn’t in his section that morning. He did recognize Nina McDonald, the girl she was talking to, from one of his activities that afternoon. Alicia was laughing hard at something the other young woman said, her hair was so long it kept falling into her face, and she had to push it back every so often. 

Will couldn’t hear her from his position on the board, but he didn’t need to. He was struck by the way she used every muscle in her face to laugh, she looked so joyous it reminded him of sunshine. 

As he surfaced from the water after his dive, he considered swimming over to her to introduce himself, but he couldn’t muster up the courage. 

Will Gardner had never been the nervous type, he had always been so self-assured in practically every aspect of his life.  

And yet…there is something about her that made him nervous, and that was all before he even knew her name. 

When Will thinks back on it now, he realizes he never really stood a chance. 

Their eyes met as he waded in the water, like she knew he was watching her. The redness that burned at the tips of his ears had nothing to do with his dive, but everything to do with being caught. 

One look at those doe green eyes and he was goner. 

When she smiled at him, the dimple popping out of her cheek, Will stuck his head under water. 

Becoming Alicia’s friend had been easy. 

The law students bonded over their similarities in schedules, a common interest in films, television… and arguing . 

Will was not the kind of person who easily backed down from a fight. In fact, he likes to think he’s quite good at debating. He is still very proud of the High School Debate Championship trophy sitting on the shelf in his childhood bedroom. 

But he’d never argued against someone like Alicia before.

Her quick wit and ability to keep cool under pressure, coupled with a sharp mind that could change tactics on a whim, while also poking holes in his argument left him reeling every time. It also gave him a glimpse of the great Litigator she could be one day, and the thought alone filled him with admiration. 

By the time their professor rang the bell to signal that their first Moot Court presentation was over, Will was more in awe of her than he was the first time they met. 

“You could have gone easy on me Cavanaugh,” Will jests, as he waits for her in the doorway of their classroom. 

Alicia shakes her head slowly, “Are you kidding?” she snickers. “Better luck next time Gardner, maybe rethink your strategy.”

And she was right. 

The next time Will is paired up to spar up against Alicia, he’s ready. 

He’s prepared, anticipating the rebuttals to his arguments. His reasonings as to why the panel of judges should side with his client’s appeal are more sound. And though it wasn’t enough to get him a favorable decision, the small delighted smirk he got from his partner in the end, did more to bolster his confidence than any high score his professor could have given him. 

Over the course of their first year in Law School, it became hard to find one without the other as their lives on campus naturally enmeshed. 

Will and Alicia always seemed to find little moments to spend time together outside of class, whether it’d be studying in their group at the library or extending their lunch hour whenever possible.

It didn’t hurt that they shared friends either, so they’d often meet up at parties or be at the same bar hang outs. By the end of the night, they’d gravitate towards the other, and Will found that he enjoyed Alicia’s company the most. 

The more time Will spent at Alicia’s side, the harder it got for him to leave. 

And that was the case whenever they were out together. Eventually, their small group would thin out, retiring for the night. But Will and Alicia remained, talking about what, Will could not remember. 

He was starting to wonder if he’d just become addicted to spending time in Alicia’s orbit. 

The first time Will Gardner knew might have fallen in love with his best friend, was right before the two were set to take off for Summer break after their 1L finals. 

Will was going home to Chicago where he had accepted a Clerkship internship at the Circuit Court of Cook County, and Alicia was bound for London to backpack around parts of Europe with her younger brother Owen, ahead of his final semester of undergrad in College. 

They were going to be apart for two and a half months. And truthfully, Will was dreading it. Though he did take some comfort in the fact that Alicia didn’t seem too keen on being away for so long either. 

She had come over to his apartment on the pretext of helping him pack. It was a flimsy excuse, and they both knew it but chose to ignore it. Will also just wanted to make the most of the time they still had left.

Alicia sat on the bench in front of his Piano Keyboard, and so far the most help she’s given him, is watch him put clothes away in his suitcase. 

“My father gave my brother a new laptop as a graduation gift,” Alicia starts, mild irritation imbuing her tone. 

“Owen, right?”

She nods, answering, “Yes,” she sighs. “But he keeps messaging me, insisting he wants to do a pub crawl when we get to London.” 

From his position on the floor, Will sits back on his hind legs as he laughs. 

“It’s not funny,” Alicia grumbles, a small frown on her lips. “I keep telling him he can’t clog up my inbox system. The e-mail I gave him is really only for school.” 

Will doesn’t try to hide his amusement, “He’s excited,” he says, reaching up to grab another shirt off his bed. “Give the kid a break, it’s his first solo trip out of the country without your parents.” 

Alicia takes a deep inhale, “Sure, sure,” she agrees reluctantly, “But it seems like I’m worried and he’s not worried at all.” 

“Ah,” Will clicks his tongue. “Spoken like a true big sister.”

He pauses as he looks over his suitcase, cataloguing the items he’s packed so far in his mind, to make sure he’s got everything he wanted to take. 

“This is why you make a list,” Alicia teases, a cheeky smile tugging at her lips. 

Will turns his head to look at her, “Is this how you help, questioning my methods?” 

The young woman shrugs, as her eyes fill with mirth.“I just told you to make a list, that’s helpful advice,” she says, tilting her head to the side. “It’s a good thing you’re going home, you can easily replace anything you forget here.”

Will snickers as she turns around in her seat, a pleased grin on her beautiful face.  

As he gets back on task, she tinkers with a few random keys on his keyboard. 

“Do you play?” Will asks, after a few minutes. 

Alicia stops, twisting her body slightly towards him. “No– ” she responds. And then after a beat she adds, “Well, not anymore. I did for about five years… nine to fourteen, before I quit.” 

Will raises a brow, intrigued. 

Everything about their friendship still felt so fresh. Every new fact he learned about Alicia only made him want to know more. 

He moves from the floor, coming to stand next to her by the bench. 

“Why did you stop?” 

Her face clouds over morosely, and then she shrugs meekly. “A fit of teenage rebellion is not a good enough defense, I know. But it is all I have,” she sighs. “I was mad at my mother. Neither of us really won that fight.” 

Will nods in understanding but doesn’t try to appease her, and he can tell she’s relieved by the hint of a smile at the corners of her mouth. 

“So,” he says as he sits down next to her. “Do you remember anything?”

Alicia snorts, “No,” she drawls out resolutely. “But I wasn’t half bad.”

“I’m sure,” he agrees. 

Will can’t imagine Alicia being bad at anything. If there’s one thing their time together has taught him so far, is that she will throw herself head first into anything she sets her mind to and she’ll do it well. 

Alicia fiddles with E-minor on the board for a few breaths before she bites her bottom lip. “Actually– ”

She positions both hands over the keys for a moment before she starts playing an upbeat, jaunty tune that Will recognizes instantly, and he breaks out into raucous laughter. 

He cants his head, “The theme song to Magnum P.I.?” He asks in amazement. 

Alicia gives him a dazzling smile, that same dimple he’s become obsessed with, popping out of her cheek. “Five years worth of lessons, and that’s all I have to show for it,” she giggles. “That definitely wasn’t among my instructor’s many sheets of Bach and Beethoven but I still managed to convince him to teach me. Maybe he got sick of me asking.”

“I loved that show as a kid, and Tom Selleck was cute,” she blushes as she adds the last part. 

“I can see the appeal,” Will nods his concession with a winsome grin. 

Alicia raises a challenging brow, “Impressed?” 

“Oh, very.” 

Will holds her gaze for a long time, arrested. There’s a happy sparkle in her eyes that he knows is reflected in his own. 

He wonders, not for the first time, if it would be okay to kiss her. 

His hand jitters a bit as he reaches into the space between them to move a piece of hair back from her face. Alicia leans into his touch momentarily as her eyes flutter. 

Will swallows thickly, overwhelmed with affection. 

If he did kiss her then… would Alicia allow it? 

Her eyes drop briefly to his mouth and he thinks she would. 

Just ask. 

He suspects, though, that if she did let him—he could kiss her, and only her, for the rest of his life. And as the word forever enters his mind, his heart rate picks up. 

Will’s lips pull up into a rueful smile. 

He cowers. 

They’re about to be apart for two and a half months, he didn’t want to start anything that could be perceived as a momentary tryst. 

Alicia is too important to him. 

Instead, he clears his throat. Bumping his shoulder with hers before going back to finish packing the rest of his clothes. 

Will thought the separation would be a good thing… at the very least, it would give him some perspective. 

Maybe he’s wrong. 

Maybe he’s mistaking the affinity he feels for their friendship with love . 

Maybe it was the constant exposure… after all, he does spend a lot of time with Alicia. They have most of their classes together, they share a study group and friends. 

Maybe that’s it.  

He just needed to be away from her to truly assess the situation, and he’d realize that what he felt was truly only friendship and nothing else. 

That line of thinking barely got him through a week.

Will is grateful his job at the Cook County Court kept him so busy, if only because it also kept his thoughts of Alicia at bay. 

Judge Núñez ran a tight ship out of his chambers, so focusing on what the older man needed meant he could push off the notion of missing her. 

It’s so simple… he misses her. 

He begins to think no amount of time spent at her side would ever be enough. 

Will sees Alicia every time he closes his eyes. 

He talks to her in his dreams. Watches as she laughs at some stupid joke he’s told her that only she would understand, her whole body shaking with the force of it. He imagines the day he finally gets his head out of his ass and asks her out on a date. 

For several days, Will ruminates on how dating would change their friendship. Turning it over and over in his head. He’s come to value their connection as friends as something sacred, venerating their easy rapport and the way they support each other. A part of him battles indecision… and the other part, doesn’t see how that’s hindrance. On the contrary, that part of him strongly believes the foundation they’ve built so far would make them exceptional . 

He recalls the day they were sitting at his Piano Keyboard. The flicker of disappointment that crossed her pretty green eyes when he didn’t kiss her and decides… maybe the reward of a lifetime together will be worth the risk.

But first… Will had to officially call things off with his former girlfriend. 

The two had agreed to a cooling off period as they navigated the new directions their lives had taken. There was a pending conversation they needed to have, and Will thought it was about time that they had it. 

He tried not to feel too guilty as he told Helena that he no longer wanted to move forward with their relationship. Meeting someone else hadn’t been exactly part of the plan, but he couldn’t pretend he didn’t feel something for someone else. 

The breakup is amicable, and Helena is understanding… in the end it was a relief to them both, as the relationship had just naturally run its course. 

Will is a month into his stay in Chicago, when he gets a postcard from London. A stunning image of the Tower Bridge on the front, and the back filled out with Alicia’s neat script. 

London calling!   

Greetings from jolly old England, 

Although not very jolly right now. The weather is as moody as you might expect... foggy and rainy, but no less beautiful. 

We got to see the city from St. Paul’s Cathedral, and it’s truly breathtaking. I know you’d probably say it wouldn’t compare to the Chicago skyline, but you’re wrong. If you’re thinking that as you read this, you’re still wrong. 

While getting breakfast this morning, I almost caused a small international incident... and to be fair, the people here are wonderful. Very nice. That is until you accidentally try to skip the queue. But in my defense, I didn’t realize there were two lines, I wasn’t purposely trying to cut anyone. You could have been my first phone call, I firmly believe Owen would have let me rot. 

We went to the Inns of Court, and it’s hard not to be in awe when you’re surrounded by so much history. I don’t know if Owen cared for it as much as I did, and that’s okay… but I think you would have appreciated it. From the remnants of the Knights Templar at Temple Church to the Barristers in their wigs. 

—A 

He gets two more postcards before he leaves the Windy City, one from Amsterdam and the other from Paris, where Alicia and Owen were visiting their mother, Veronica and her new boyfriend. 

Will tucks the postcards between the pages of his favorite book, a worn and beloved copy of The Maltese Falcon, for safekeeping. 

When it’s time to return to D.C., he couldn’t get back fast enough.

He makes a quick pit stop at his apartment to drop off his suitcase, then heads over to her place. She had gotten a home a few days before he was due to arrive, so he knew she’d be there. Will holds his breath as he knocks on her front door, and releases it at the sight of her beaming face on the other side of the threshold. His heart stutters in chest, and after two and a half months apart, he’s sure he is in love with her. 

Alicia falls into his arms easily, her arms wrap tightly around his waist and he’s never felt more complete than he did in that moment. 

He’s hard pressed to let go and apparently Alicia didn’t want to let go either, as she draws back to look at him but keeps her hold on him. Somehow, she’s gotten more beautiful over the summer. Her cheeks are pinker, her green eyes brighter. 

Will swallows, pulling her closer. 

“I missed your birthday,” he says forlornly. 

Alicia shrugs off the comment, unperturbed. “That’s okay. There’s always next year.” 

His heart lifts as her words register in his brain. He likes the implication that she’ll still want him around next year. It gives him hope that they could possibly be more by the time it rolls back around. 

“Europe looks good on you,” Will says. 

Alicia gives him a placid smile. “That was two months too long,” she says softly.  

The tickets to The Montreal Expos game were like a gift on a silver platter, and Will knew an opportunity when he saw one. 

Commitments beyond their control, had kept them apart for most of the week, hardly giving them any time together outside a class or a study room. 

In a way, Will appreciated the extra time he got to muster up some courage before asking Alicia to accompany him to the game. He kept the tickets in his back pocket as he planned his pitch… no pun intended . 

It never crosses his mind to ask anyone else, though he was fully prepared for the possibility that she might reject his offer. He remembered their conversation about Baseball all those months ago, and he thought maybe it wasn’t such a crazy idea, after all. 

What he hadn’t counted on was completely tripping over his words. 

He’s thankful that Alicia, however unwittingly, did it for him.

In the days leading up to their maybe… could be date , Will fretted she would change her mind. He couldn’t help the little gnawing voice at the back of his mind from thinking so. Of course , if she did change her mind, he knew he wouldn’t push back against it.

They both had to be on the same page about where this thing between them is going to go. 

He knew what he wanted, all Alicia had to do was meet him halfway. 

Will Gardner had always been very determined. From a young age, he knew how he wanted his life to go. He figured out the goals he needed to set for himself, and achieved them. As a boy, he considered playing professional Baseball before he found a passion for Law, and realized that the skills he gained on the field would suit him just as well in a courtroom. 

His confidence buoyed him.

He was never one to second-guess himself… except when it came to Alicia Cavanaugh. 

She’s enigmatic in a way he hadn’t anticipated but finds alluring.

Since reuniting in Georgetown after summer break, any minute they could get together, they’d taken it. Coffee runs in the morning, extra long lunch breaks whenever possible, nights out with their friends… hands always entwined under the table. 

All of this has gone unspoken, it’s a rhythm they’d fallen into quite naturally. 

There’s a glint of deep affection in her eyes everytime he looks at her, he recognized what it was because it mirrored his own. 

He could no longer ignore that he loved her, and he longed to tell her. 

Underneath all the fondness, however, he also saw the notes of apprehension which made him want to tread lightly, but there is no future in his mind that didn’t include Alicia. 

As they watch the game now, underneath the stars… the Expos gearing up to make a final play for home, the way Alicia is staring at him, has Will thinking they’ve finally reached the same page. 

“They’re going to steal third.” 

Alicia’s voice breaks through the haze in Will’s mind. When he doesn’t respond immediately she turns her head to look at him. 

“Will,” the other law student says. “Are you even paying attention?” 

The young man gapes at her, brown eyes round. “Oh, uh,” he mutters. 

They’re in the final inning of the night and the Expos only need one more run to take the whole game. The crowd is at a fever pitch but Will had long since lost focus. 

He’d been lost in thought… wrestling with how far he could go tonight. 

Will knows he can’t go back to pretending like he didn’t want to be this close to Alicia all the time. His feelings for her have only grown stronger in the year since they’ve met. He is also acutely aware that it’s delicate . He had to be cautious. He feared pushing too hard, and losing her presence in his life entirely would hurt more than anything else.  

Unbeknownst to the torment plaguing his mind, Alicia grabs his face, twisting it in the direction of the field. “The bases are loaded and Berry’s like– itching to make a break for it.”

That seems to snap him back into the action, he stares at her cursorily and she tuts. 

“Don’t look so shocked, Mr. Gardner. I’m a quick study.” 

Will shakes his head as he grins, “No no,” he whistles. “I’m just– astonished at how fast the tables turned.” 

“I told you I got invested,” Alicia laughs. “Besides, I’ve had a good teacher.” 

“Yeah?” He asks, lips curling. 

Will slides his arm around her waist, swaying them slightly, as they watch Moisés Alou take his turn at bat.

Alicia bumps him with her hip, “That’s– going straight to your head isn’t it?” 

“Right up there,” the man confirms with a chuckle. 

No… Will definitely couldn’t go back to the way things were after tonight. 

He believes the risk will be worth the reward, and he’s playing for keeps. 

“Is he striking out on purpose?” Alicia voices out loud, frowning in confusion. 

Next to her Will snorts, “I think I’ve created a monster.” 

“Hardly,” Alicia quips. “I just thought they wanted to win.”

Will huffs out a laugh, tapping rhythmically at her side and she threads her fingers through his over her hip.

When Alicia shifts her gaze to look at him, he’s already staring at her. His eyes are soft and warm and full of… love. 

The word lands like a brick in her head, and she’s tried to avoid thinking about it, but it’s right. It’s the only way he’s looked at her all evening. It’s the only way he’s always looked at her… and she decides not to shrink at it.  

Alicia’s heart quickens as he tilts his head. “Will– ”

His lips pull up fondly, “I’m going to kiss you, is that okay?” 

She hesitates as the words rattle inside her, then nods slowly. 

Will takes his time… caressing her cheeks between his hands as his eyes dance across her face, he tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and Alicia’s breath hitches as she braces herself for impact.

She’d be lying if she said she hasn’t been waiting for him to kiss her all night. Or for damn near a year and a half. 

And as his lips touch hers, tender and tentative at first, as if testing how deep he could go, she wants to kick herself for not initiating this sooner. 

It’s over too soon as he rears back slightly, and Alicia is slow to open her eyes. She still feels the trace of him on her lips. 

“You’re a very good kisser.”

The words weren’t meant to leave the depths of her subconscious but they make Will laugh in earnest, his chest vibrating with the force of it. 

His lips quirk impishly, as his eyes narrow frivolously. “Is that something… you’ve been thinking about for a long time?”

Alicia’s cheeks burn red, but she maintains his steady gaze. “Shut up,” she grumbles lowly, refusing to answer that very apt question. 

Instead, she tugs at the loops of his jeans to bring him closer into her body, and this time when he kisses her again, it’s a little deeper and languid and she melts into him. 

Neither hear the pop of the bat, or see the ball sailing towards the outfield, beyond the fence, into the stands. 

A home run. 

Fans erupt in cheers around them, and Alicia pulls back, “I think your team just won,” she whispers into his ear. 

They leave before the general crowd rushes out of the stadium. 

The warmth that spreads through Alicia’s chest as Will holds her hand, as he guides them out feels different now. This isn’t the first time he’s held her hand, but suddenly she’s keenly aware of his firm grip on her, and she feels moored by it. 

She fixates on the way his thumb glides over the back of her hand, the way he’d squeeze her fingers every few seconds. It’s nice, and it brings a gentle smile to her face. 

Will’s hold on her is single handedly keeping her tethered as her thoughts flit away.

“I can hear you thinking,” his voice breaks through the fog in her head. 

Alicia hums, “Oh, uh,” she stutters. 

Will halts his steps, turning around to face her, reaching for her other hand to interlock their fingers. 

Alicia exhales as she tries to swallow a lump the size of a boulder down her throat. 

Will makes an attempt at a smile, but it falters. His eyes, downcast. She can see the wall he’s starting to put up, and her heart cracks a little in her chest. If she doesn’t say something, tonight will be for nothing. And that’s the last thing Alicia wants.

She brings their hands up, hugging them to her chest. 

“Will,” Alicia starts, she doesn’t look at him as she pleads softly, “Just give me a second, okay?”

She takes a few breaths before she feels ready to finally meet his eyes, and she’s met with empathy and fondness. It relieves some of the pressure in her chest. 

“Something changed tonight, didn’t it?” 

Will dips his head, nodding slowly. “Yes,” he answers, then adds, “But if you– ”

“No,” Alicia cuts him off, tone firm as she pushes past the emotion in her throat, as she continues. “Don’t do that,” she tells him. “I know what you’re doing, and I appreciate it but I don’t need you to put words in my mouth.”

She bites her lips, “I want things to change. I’m just–scared about how much I want it.”

Will smiles wistfully, “Okay,” he says softly. “We deserve to be happy, Alicia. You make me happy,” his brown eyes shine, and she wants to kiss him, so she does. Because they can do things like this now. 

“You make me happy too,” Alicia whispers against his lips. “So happy.” 

“Then let me prove it to you,” he says. “We don’t have to decide anything right this instant. But… if I have to spend the rest of my life proving to you that we can last, I will.”

“God,” Alicia drops her head against his chest. “This is the third time you’ve almost made me cry tonight,” her voice trembles. 

Will chuckles lowly as he rubs a soothing hand down her back, but doesn’t apologize. Instead, he presses his lips to the top of her head. “I love you Alicia Cavanaugh,” he tells her sincerely. “You don’t have to say it back, but just in case you still don’t get it, I want to be clear. I’m in love with you.”

He starts walking backwards, moving her along with him before she’s had a chance to truly process what he said, before she can even formulate a response. 

The words ring around in her head, swirling in her heart, and they settle there. At no point does she doubt he means it, and she is consumed by her own need to tell him as well. 

“I love you too, Will.” 

The rhythm of her heart is Will Gardner, and Alicia is just as sure about that as she’s sure that the sun will rise tomorrow. And the brilliant smile she gets in return, the kind where bares all his teeth, is all she ever wants to see forever .  

He hugs her tightly to his side as they move forward. 

They’re a few steps from the exit when Will stops as they pass by one of the vendors, telling her to wait for a moment as he runs back to the kiosk. As he reaches her again, after making his purchase he holds up a Baseball cap… a red, white and blue Expos hat with the M for Montreal in the middle.

“We can’t forget to mark your first official game,” Will says as he tucks her hair behind her ears, putting the hat on her head. 

Alicia makes a face, “I’m sure this day has been marked by other things,” she tilts her head to peck his lips, and he smiles happily against her mouth. “Like, that, for example,” she glady points out. 

When they pull away, Will winks at her, “The magic of Baseball, it makes you believe anything is possible.” 

Years later… long after they’re married, and the Expos have moved from Montreal to D.C., changing their name to the Washington Nationals to become the new official team for the district, that same hat will hang on the wall of Will’s office in Chicago.