Work Text:
You can’t help the fact that your eyes drift over to her every so often, she’s compelling. You can’t help the fact that every time she looks at you your heart beats faster, she’s got the most perfect smile. And, you can’t help the fact that you’ve got a crush on her, she’s Maria Hill.
Your thumb clicks up and down on the pen as you stare off into the distance, your position slouched within your office chair, and the light of the, unnecessarily, large monitor illuminated your face. You’ve known Maria for a long time, the two of you joined S.H.I.E.L.D together, but you had found an interest within the analytics, whereas she had gone on to become one of the best agents the organisation had ever seen. And rightly so; Maria Hill was one of the hardest working people that you have ever met.
When you had landed a job within the main headquarters, Maria Hill was the first to greet you and welcomed you back as old friends. The few years spent apart had done her well, she had matured exponentially and it looked good on her - her head held high and her posture straight, no longer embarrassed that she towered over most of her peers. Young Maria Hill, when you look back, was endearing and one of the things that you’ve silently appreciated was the fact that her eyes still looked at you the same.
“Y/n?” Maria almost shouted and you jumped, sitting upright in your chair, before your eyes focussed on her. She was leaning against the door, her hand still in a fist from when she had knocked. “You okay?” She questioned as she timidly came into your space.
“Um,” you shook yourself out of your head, “yeah, all good.”
“Really?” She quizzed, sceptically, and sat on your desk. Her long legs splayed out, her foot tapping against yours from time to time.
You smiled up at her lazily, “Yes, I’m sure, just taking a break from staring at that screen all day,” you groaned knowing that you’d have to go back to work soon. But damn did your eyes need a break.
“Walk with me?” Maria smiled, hopefully.
“Not enough action going around for you, Hill?” You teased, getting up from your chair anyway. She shrugged with a small smirk before following you out. The two of you entertain yourselves with idle chatter as you take a stroll around the buildings, through the many, many corridors and rooms. The organisation has really grown since you first started, so many new faces, so much new equipment; you can’t help but feel amazed at what they’ve accomplished as you look around.
“Is this new?” You gawk as Maria opens the door to a new building, it’s bright and very white.
“It’s been open for two years,” Maria deadpans in shock. “How much time do you really spend in that little office of yours?” You choose not to answer and instead move your attention to the many little rooms on show by the massive panel of glass on each side of the corridor. They’re little labs, filled with lots of little experiments and big ideas. Maria stares at you softly, your eyes wide with awe as they follow the movements of white-coat cladded people shuffling around the rooms. You never really leave your office, only venturing out to go home or collect lunch; sometimes you eat it in the hall, only if Maria is around, but you mostly make your way back into your little sanctuary. You’ve missed so much, always getting caught up in work, time seems to fly by at an insane speed.
It’s dark again when you make your way home and you unlock the door to the still air of your apartment. Of course you’ve thought about getting a pet of some sorts, maybe a fish, but you always refrained. It’d be selfish of you to leave them for that long, spending all day on their own and sometimes even the night, you couldn’t do that. You quickly get ready for bed, too exhausted to do anything else, and slip underneath the covers hugging the soft blankets close. Sleep finds you quickly and you lose yourself to an almost familiar dreamland.
“Hm, thanks, Y/n,” Maria hums as you pass her a steaming mug of coffee. She’s on the sofa, legs out and resting on the footstool with a blanket wrapped around her lower half with an open laptop resting on her thighs. Your eyes follow her mug as she takes a sip and her face suddenly comes into focus - the butterflies erupt. Her dark brown hair is haphazardly put up, strands falling and curling against her neck and jaw, and a pair of dark framed glasses rests on the bridge of her nose. Bright blue eyes turn to yours above the lip of her mug and your heart beats erratically through your chest, are you short of breath? Maria’s left hand wraps around the rim of her mug as she brings it down from her lips and she stretches away from you to place it on the coffee table beside the sofa.
She comes back with a small smile on her lips, your sole focus is on her, you haven’t looked away and she’s acting as if it’s normal. “C’mere,” she whispers and cranes her neck back as you lean in close-
You wake with a jolt. The beat of your heart is as loud as it was in your dream. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! No, this can’t be happening? Of course, you’ve always had a small crush on Maria, but this? This was something different, something... more. You let out a deep groan as you hold your head in your hands. It’s still dark, but there’s no way you’ll be able to get back to sleep after that so you get out of bed and reluctantly get dressed. You need to distract yourself.
You hold your keycard up against the sensor of the lift and beep yourself in and make your way to the front desk.
“Do we have anything time consuming we’ve been putting off?” You question the man sitting there, Mark, with a shy smile. Mark’s the analytics overviewer for your team, keeping track of all the things that need to be done, sorting them into most to least important, assigning them around the team, and just making sure everything is running as smoothly as possible.
“Oh, Y/n, you angel, now this,” he turns the monitor of his screen to you, “is gonna take you a week, maybe longer,” he warns and you nod your head anyway.
“Send it over, I’ll get it done,” you smile and he thanks you silently with his hand pressed flat against each other.
You spin on your heel and almost jump back when you see her.
“Y/n,” Maria grins and easily falls in step with you as you begin to make your way to your office, “I saw that you signed in; couldn’t sleep?” You find that you can’t meet her eyes and nod your head in response. She peers down at you as you walk, you’re still wrapped in a scarf with a hat on your head, you look so cozy and warm and it makes her smile. “Bad dream?” She questions and you let out a shaky breath as you’re pulled back into the memory.
“Something like that,” you confess, your cheeks growing warm under the scarf. “What time are you going home?”
Maria shrugs, “Not sure, hopefully by midday,” she answers just as the two of you round the corner to your office. “I’ll see you around, okay?” She pauses in front of your door and you give her a nod before waving her goodbye.
She had noticed that you signed in and came down to see you, damn, she was not making this any easier. You can’t want her, it just- shouldn’t be allowed. You’ve been friends for far too long for anything to change now.
— — — — —
That, supposedly, week-long task was turning out to be much longer. Much, much longer. You had run into a massive flaw early on in the process, which you then had to fix. It was painstaking to say the least, the more than usual sleepless nights kept the bags under your eyes dark, and you couldn’t remember the last time you had seen the light of day. However, it did keep your mind preoccupied, pushing the thoughts of Maria to the back; where it would quietly hum every now and then to remind you that they weren’t going away.
Tirelessly, after a month and half, you were finally finished.
The click as you unlocked your door sounded celebratory and you quickly shed your outer layers, not caring to pick them off from the floor, before you collapsed onto your sofa. And it felt blissful, god you needed this. On your way out of the main office, Mark had congratulated you and gave you the very special news that you were inclined to a week break; you nearly jumped for joy.
Your eyes became heavier and heavier, you could move to your bed, you should probably move, you weren’t twenty anymore and a sore neck was no joke. You frowned into the fabric of the sofa, you’d deal with it in the morning.
Brring!
Nevermind. Begrudgingly, you got up from the sofa and padded over to your front door and pulled it open. You nearly jumped back in surprise. Maria stood opposite you bearing gifts of wine, chocolates and flowers, with a sly grin on her face. Your heart almost instantly began to play an erratic beat.
“I can’t believe you’re still awake,” Maria stated incredulously, as she walked into your home. You took a glance at your clock to find that it was nearing one in the morning. With furrowed brows you turned back to Maria to see her filling a vase with water to display the flowers she got for you, your favourite flowers.
“Y’know you have your own key, I was comfortable.”
“Where, on the couch? And my hands were full,” she sent you a pout as you approached her, before she went back to arranging the flowers. A dark strand of hair fell in front of her face, and, unconsciously, you reached your hand out and gently tucked it back behind her ear. Maria gave you a soft smile as she met your gaze and you quickly looked at the perfectly arranged flowers, hoping that she’ll miss the heat in your cheeks.
“Woah, you always do so well with these,” you gawk and your hands wrap around the cool curve of the glass. As you carry it over to its designated space, Maria’s eyes follow and you miss the soft smile still on her face.
“So, I’m thinking, movie, pasta, and wine,” Maria states, moving to grab the bottle opener from the kitchen drawer.
You chuckle to yourself, “Like it ever changes.” You hear the recognisable pop of Maria pulling the cork out the neck of the bottle and the light of the tv illuminates your figure. “Hm, any special requests?” You question as you scroll through the list of movie posters.
“Ooh, how about that one?” You hear Maria call out and you flick back.
“This one?”
“Other one. Yeah.” She confirms and you nod your head as you press play. When you come back to her, she’s already got a pot of water ready to boil on the stove.
The two of you chat idly as you move comfortably around each other, chopping up tomatoes, cooking the meat, and occasionally sipping on the wine. It smelt heavenly. It’s quick, but pasta usually is, and you watch Maria from above the rim of your wine glass as she finishes garnishing each dish.
“Voilà!” She kisses her fingers and turns to you holding out your plate, “It is done.”
“Beautiful,” you compliment as you take it, though your eyes never leave hers. Maria swallows and turns her head down to her pasta.
Unspokenly, you both decide to remain in the kitchen and your idle chatter returns. That is until Maria turns to you suddenly more seriously, the wine has visibly gotten to her now and you’re sure it has gotten to you in the same way, otherwise you might have put up more of a facade.
“What’s been on your mind, Y/n? Or,” she pauses her eyes squinting at you, “should I say who?” Her eyebrows raise and you can’t help the large smile that overcomes your lips. Shit. You fruitlessly attempt to hide it with your wine glass. “Oh my god, I was right!? Who is she? Does she work with us? She has to, you never go anywhere else but to work.” Maria talks, answering her own question. You shake your head at her, taking another sip of wine.
“No- no, no, no, you’re telling me. You have to. You have to! Pleaaaase,” She begs you, inching closer and closer with each word. You keep your lips closed, and Maria continues to press becoming increasingly whiny and you laugh at her.
“Fine,” you huff out. “Fine, fine, fine. I’ll tell you, a little bit.” Just a little bit, otherwise she might be able to tell, even in her drunken state Maria Hill was still a top agent. You feel your face instantly heat up as you begin to talk. “It’s stupid, it’s- I don’t really- it’s a crush, it’s childish…”
You don’t even look at Maria as you talk, instead opting for the bottom of your glass, but as your smile grows, Maria’s falls. It fades, ever so slightly, no longer quite reaching her eyes, as you talk about this mystery girl. Sobriety seems to punch her in the face, and her stomach drops. She feels stupid, how can one be so in tune to other people’s emotions and forget to acknowledge her own? You’re always on her mind, she’s always finding a way to see you during the day. Who else would she turn up in the middle of the night for, except for you? No one, she couldn’t even think. Fury? No, she would never turn up just because. Fuck, how could she have missed it for so long?
— — — — —
It’s been three weeks since your last dinner together. Three weeks since Maria started not coming into your office as often. Two weeks since she left for that mission, and one week until she was set to come back.
And yet you stood outside her door.
Chocolate, flowers and wine in hand.
It’s been less than a minute since you knocked, but you can’t stand it. Your fingers fumble for your keys, your skin sweaty, and your heart pumping blood as if you’re being held at gunpoint. The mission went wrong, it went wrong. Missions finish early, missions finish late, sometimes missions get cut, rarely do missions go wrong. Maria’s mission went wrong.
You finally push open the door and pull your key out.
“Maria?” You call out, placing the gifts on the kitchen counter as you pass. Your eyes find the small droplets of blood littering the floor, and you draw in a deep breath. Stupid. Always putting others in front of her own health, no sense of self preservation. It trails to the bathroom, the hum of light is loud in comparison to the silence of the apartment, and then you hear her. A hiss through gritted teeth.
“Maria,” you call just above a whisper. She turns to you and her shoulders slump. You notice, first, the large gash across her right cheekbone, then her right eye - clouded over with red. You’re surprised you didn’t see it first. Her lip is split, as well as her eyebrow. You shake your head at her as you approach. “I wish you’d let them fix you up, it’s what they’re there for, what you hired them for. They’re smart enough to know who to tend to first,” you berate half-heartedly, and you move to take the cloth from her hand.
“Y/n-”
“Nah-ah, I took the same training as you did, Hill, don’t you forget that.” A small smile appears and you mirror it.
“How could I ever forget?” She replies and you move to rinse the cloth under fresh water to dab at the wounds on her face.
It’s quiet as you work, disinfecting her cuts and taping them up. You’re close to her, inches from her face, you’ve done this before, been this close before, but this time it feels different.
Maria doesn’t take her eyes off of you once, silently watching, the scene is movielike; in which the protagonist finally falls in love with the love interest. The love interest who is too caring for her own good, too kind, too soft, too good. The love interest who fixes up the protagonist every time she gets hurt.
Maria catches the end of your sentence, something about tea, just as you turn to leave, but she catches your hand. Her blue eyes search your face and her fingers are burning hot.
“Are you doing okay?” Your voice is laced with concern, and you press the back of your other hand to her forehead. Her hand is still on yours. “You’re looking a little warm,” you point out.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
“You- what?” You whisper, and now it’s your turn to search her face, your gaze moving from one eye to the other. It’s all you’ve ever wanted to hear, and your heart beats faster. You hold onto her hand tighter. “Say it again.”
“I’m in love with you.” You watch her lips form the words, and your heart skips a beat.
“I’m in love with you too.”
Maria tugs you toward her and presses a sweet kiss to your lips. The cut in hers pulses with a warm pain, protesting against the pressure, but she couldn’t care less. As the kiss finishes and you pull back, you make a jab at her shoulder.
“You had me worried, thought you were gonna faint or something, why must you always be so silly? You huff out, Maria only smiles at you.
“What was that you said earlier? Coffee?”
“Tea.”
“Coffee.”