Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

     "A joint mission with the chibi you say?" Dazai tilted his head.

     "Is it really necessary that I work with this asshole?" Chuuya pointed at Dazai.

     "I didn't know you knew what necessary meant" Dazai teased.

     "WHY YOU-"

      "That's enough" Mori spoke.

     "Now's not the time for petty arguments." Fukuzawa agreed.

     Chuuya blinked. "It's that serious, huh?"

     Dazai rolled his eyes. "Chuuya-kun's chibi brain really is slow."

     Chuuya clenched his fist.

     "You should know exactly how serious it is when the mission calls for us to team up" Dazai continued. 

     "What's this mission about anyway?" Chuuya asked.

     "What do you two know of UA?" Fukuzawa asked.

     "That hero school? Not much." Chuuya admitted.

     "Chibi would know more if he studied beforehand" Dazai sighed.

     Before Chuuya could retort, Dazai continued.

     "It's one of the most widely known hero schools out there, due to the number one hero graduating from there. It's located in Musutafu, here in Japan."

     "Did you memorize the wikipedia page?" Chuuya teased.

     Dazai didn't grace his dog with a response.

     "Regardless," Mori grabbed their attention, "me and Fukuzawa-dono owe a certain rat a favor."

     "Nedzu's not a rat, doctor Mori. He'd be insulted to hear you refer to him as such." Fukuzawa retorted.

     Before Mori could retort himself, he was interrupted.

     "The mission?" Dazai prompted.

     "You're going to UA to find a mole hidden among their ranks" Fukuzawa answered.

    "We find it impertinent that you investigate the so called 'League of Villains' as well. There's rumor that there's someone in charge behind the scenes, someone that could even threaten Yokohama if they so choose." Mori added.

     Chuuya and Dazai nodded, serious expressions adorning their faces.

     "One more thing before you go," Fukuzawa said.

     "Chuuya-kun, you're going to need a cover. You can keep your name, no need to worry about that, but you'll still need to keep your ties to the Port Mafia close to your chest. You know of the Port Mafia's cover for the public, right?" Mori spoke.

     "Mori Corp? What, will I be acting as some sort of paper pusher?" Chuuya scowled.

     "No. No need to worry about that. You'll simply be acting as a body guard that Mori Corp graciously offered to lend as part of their enhanced security." Mori pulled something out of his coat as he was speaking and threw it at Chuuya.

     Chuuya caught the object. It was a hero license.

     "Not many in hero society these days know about abilities, instead mostly knowing only of quirks." Fukuzawa answered the unspoken question of why.

     Mori nodded. "Having this will enable you to act legally with less restriction.

     Fukuzawa handed Dazai his own license. "I trust that you won't lose this with your wallet in the river?" Fukuzawa spoke with a hint of humor in his tone.

     "No need to worry." Dazai spoke.

     Fukuzawa simply nodded his approval.

     "I'm sure that Nezu will provide you with any extra needed documents pertaining to your mission" Mori said.

     With that, Dazai and Chuuya headed to their respective places to pack.

     The next day, they made sure to give their respective friends their farewells.

     Ane-san reminded Chuuya to mind his manners of course.

      Akutagawa wished Chuuya a farewell back.

     Higuchi and Gin wished Chuuya luck.

     Kunikida told Dazai "Try not to tarnish the Agency's good name while you're gone."

     Atsushi told Dazai "Don't be afraid to call!"

     Kyouka gave him a knife saying "Here, in case you need it"

     Dazai laughed, "No need to worry, still, I'll take it!" He took the gift.

     "Here" Yosano handed Dazai a first-aid kit. "Don't forget to take care of yourself" 

     Kenji wished him luck.

      The Tanizaki twins wished him luck as well.

     Ranpo simply nodded in response to Dazai's farewell. "Make sure you come back with plenty of snacks!" he added before Dazai could leave.

     Dazai made sure to put his knife in his luggage, since despite not caring much about what's allowed, he'd rather not get in trouble at the airport for carrying a knife in his carry-on baggage.

     Dazai's phone rang.

     Dazai answered "Seems like a chibikko mafioso couldn't spend a minute without his master's attention. You really are a dog"

     "Why are you so late you ass?!" Chuuya answered him.

     "See, you're so minuscule that you simply vanish from my mind the moment I stop thinking about you!" Dazai answered gleefully.

     "I'M NOT THAT SHORT!" Chuuya claimed.

     "Mm-hm." Dazai hummed sarcastically.

     "Anyways, if you bothered actually looking, you'd see I'm already here." Dazai's voice was suddenly not coming from the phone.

     Chuuya did not startle. He did not.

      Dazai simply grinned. "You totally did"

     "I didn't say anything!" Chuuya retorted.

     "You thought it" Dazai smirked.

     Chuuya's face went red. He tilted his hat over his face. 

     "Shut up" he muttered.

     Eventually they boarded the plane, bickering all the while. They dutifully ignored the stares they attracted, almost as if stuck in their own world.

     Of course, Chuuya was rich so he payed for both their first class tickets. And, of course, Chuuya complained about paying for Dazai's ticket.

     "If you don't like paying for it so much why did you?" Dazai posed the question.

     Chuuya ignored him, to which Dazai pouted. Though it wasn't that big a deal, until 20 minutes had passed with Chuuya continuing to ignore Dazai. Now this wouldn't do.

     Eventually he'd get Chuuya to react, Dazai was sure of it. So he kept pushing Chuuya's buttons of course! After all, he's spent years thinking of ways to annoy Chuuya.

Chapter Text

     Dazai apparently found a way to be a nuisance without saying anything, since did things ranging from poking Chuuya, pouring ice Dazai got from who knows where down Chuuya's shirt, and worst of all, falling asleep next to Chuuya. 

     Now, falling asleep alone next to Chuuya would have been fine by itself, if not annoying because he had to be near the mackeral, but that idiot went and found away to annoy him without even being conscious. Dazai managed to lean on him as he slept. Well, Chuuya couldn't entirely be sure that it wasn't on purpose that Dazai leaned on him, but still. 

     Why wasn't Chuuya shoving Dazai off of him? Because he wasn't an asshole. That idiot Dazai probably stayed up all night doing extra research on the area they were heading. He knew Dazai, as much of a shame that was. 

     Chuuya only grumbled instead of shoving the bastard off. Look how nice he was being! Dazai better be grateful. 

     Thankfully, Chuuya had a book with him. It was a book of poetry. So, he read until they arrived in Musufatu's airport.

     As nice as Chuuya was, he took great glee in waking Dazai by shoving ice down his shirt. Chuuya's glad he bothered to look where Dazai had found the ice.

     "ACK! Bad dog! Bad dog!" Dazai scolded.

     "I'm not your dog, bastard. Anyways, we're at the airport. We got to go." Chuuya informed him.

     Chuuya immediately left without looking behind him. He trusted Dazai could catch up. And catch up he did.

     Chuuya and Dazai exited the plane and made it through security without a hitch.

     "Chuuya-kun" Dazai's voice went serious.

     Chuuya looked at Dazai, silently asking 'What is it?!'

      "I'm hungry" Dazai whined.

     "Don't get me worked up over nothing, idiot!" He hit Dazai's head.

     "This isn't nothing- I'm going to starve, Chibi." Dazai claimed.

     "Then starve." Chuuya deadpanned.

     "How could you say that to your gracious master, Chibi?!"

     "How many times have I told you?! I'm not your dog!"

     "Yeah, yeah." Dazai rolled his eyes.

     "Why you-" Chuuya was cut off as Dazai seemed to notice something.

     Dazai's mouth spread into a wide grin as he waved someone Chuuya couldn't see over.

     "We're over here!" Dazai shouted.

     "What? Why is someone here for us? Dazai-"

     "Shhhh! Your boss may have forgotten to inform you that we are staying with a lovely couple of heroes that have offered their home to us while we fill in that favor." Dazai spoke under his breath.

     "And your boss informed you?" Chuuya asked.

     "He couldn't have hidden it from me if he tried, plus he's not an ass." Dazai's smile didn't waver as he spoke.

     Before Chuuya could respond, the people Dazai had been waving over arrived.

     "Hey listeners!" the blonde one greeted.

     "Listeners?" Chuuya muttered.

     "Gee, he sure is loud! Sorta like you Chibi!"

     Before Chuuya could retort the homeless looking guy spoke "I told you that you that you were still being loud"

     "But Aizawa-kun!" the blond guy whined.

     Homeless guy, Aizawa apparently, looked so tired. Chuuya had the urge to pat his arm in sympathy, but that seemed too familiar. Chuuya didn't know this guy, after all. So he just ended up standing there awkwardly.

     Dazai clapped his hands together, "Anyways! We should introduce ourselves! I'm Dazai Osamu! And this is my dog, Chuuya!"

     "I can introduce myself, bastard!" Then Chuuya cleared his throat, and much calmer said "I'm Nakahara Chuuya."

     "Pleased to meet you! I'm Yamada Hizashi! And this is Aizawa Shouta!"

     Dazai's stomach started to growl.

     Despite Chuuya's earlier words he discreetly shot a look at his ex-partner. The bastard simply smiled in response.

     "Hungry? We can get something to eat if you two want" Yamada offered.

    "Fine. You got any place that has crab?" Chuuya asked.

    Dazai's expression lit up. "Chuuya loves me"

     "As if. I just don't want to head somewhere just for you to complain there's no crab." Chuuya turned away from Dazai, face feeling warm for some reason. It was probably flushing from anger. Stupid Dazai.

     Aizawa sighed. "I'll find a place." He said, pulling out his phone.

    "No need, I already memorized every place that has crab here before our visit!" Dazai said.

     Everyone slow blinked at Dazai.

     Noticing everyone's expressions, Dazai asked "What? I'm a crab connoisseur!"

     Chuuya sighed. "Only you, Mackeral."

     "On the contrary, many people love crab. Did you know-" Dazai began to ramble.

     "Excuse me, since you somehow memorized places that have crab" Yamada interrupted Dazai.

     "Every place" Dazai corrected.

     "Err, every place, then do you know the nearest one?" Yamada asked.

     "Of course! I made sure to note where it is on the map!" Dazai assured.

     "Do you have the map with you?" Aizawa asked.

     Dazai blinked. "Why would I need a map if I already memorized the directions?"

     Chuuya looked at Aizawa, as if to ask, 'See what I deal with?'

     "That's amazing!" Yamada spoke.

     "Eh, it's pretty simple if you ask me" Dazai shrugged.

     "Anyways, off we go!" Dazai began to walk in a random direction.

     Chuuya pulled Dazai back. "You may have memorized where the restaurant is, but do you know where whatever they drove here in?" Chuuya pointed at Yamada and Aizawa.

     "What a good doggie for noticing!" Dazai praised.

     Chuuya grumbled. Then, "Sorry for him" he gestured at Dazai.

     Yamada laughed, "No, no. It's fine!"

     "If you're sure," Chuuya shrugged before releasing Dazai.

     "The car's that way." Aizawa informed them.

     They ended up in the car with Dazai pointing out the directions they needed to go. They ended up at a really nice place.

     "How do you expect to pay for this you vagabond?" Chuuya asked.

     "With Chibi's money, of course!" Dazai cheerfully answered.

     "I'll kill you someday" Chuuya threatened darkly.

     "Not if I do it myself first!" Dazai joked.

     It made Chuuya want to strangle him.

     "Woah, woah, woah! You guys okay? Seems like this conversation is getting pretty heavy!" Yamada nervously laughed.

     Dazai and Chuuya turned their heads simultaneously to look at him.

     "Oh!" Dazai laughed "We say stuff like that all the time"

     "I'm surprised Dazai didn't say something sooner" Chuuya muttered.

     "..." Awkward silence filled the car.

     "Well starving to death is too painful for me so we'll have to head in right Chibi?" Dazai said as he got out of the car. 

     "Wait for me bastard! As if you'll be able to pay for that shit" Chuuya said as he followed him out of the car.

     "...Are they okay?" Yamada asked Aizawa.

     "I doubt the one covered in bandages is." Aizawa answered.

     With that, they followed Dazai and Chuuya into the restaurant.

Chapter Text

     Once Yamada and Aizawa caught up with Dazai and Chuuya, they found Chuuya talking with the hostess of the restaurant and Dazai pouting as if he had been scolded.

     "How many will be seated?" the hostess asked.

     "Four of us." Chuuya answered. "And sorry about him" he pointed at Dazai.

     If the hostess had been bothered, she didn't show it. "It's fine"

     Then Chuuya spotted Yamada and Aizawa and waved them over.

     "Alright. Then allow me to seat you." The hostess then lead them to a table.

     Once they sat, they all perused the menu. Well, Dazai skimmed the menu and quickly found what he wanted.

     They ordered drinks which they got, then they ordered their food.

     Dazai ordered boiled crab, Chuuya ordered sushi and wine, Aizawa ordered soba, and Yamada ordered tempura.

     "Ah~ Chuuya-kun shouldn't have ordered wine." Dazai giggles.

     "Why is that?" Yamada asked.

     "He's a total lightweight!" Dazai answered.

     "I'm not!" Chuuya denies.

      "Prove it" Dazai smirked. 

     "Is that a bet?" Chuuya growled.

     "Do you want it to be? " Dazai's voice was low as he leaned towards Chuuya.

     "I'll drink you under this fucking table." Chuuya accepted.

     Aizawa snorted, breaking the tension. 

     Dazai leaned back from Chuuya, sipping from the drink he had ordered before speaking again.

     "So what does Chuuya want if he miraculously manages to win?" Dazai snickered.

     "I'm going to get you to be my dog for a day once I win" Chuuya said confidently.

     Yamada spat out his drink, gathering a few judging looks.

     "What?!" he shouted.

     "Volume, Yamada." Aizawa reminded.

     "Sorry, just- What?" Yamada asked again.

     "It's obviously some sort of running joke or something between them. Remember how Dazai introduced Nakahara?" Aizawa explained.

     Yamada's face made a sound of understanding.

     "So you admit that you're usually my dog?" Dazai asked, ignoring Aizawa and Yamada.

     "That's not what I said!" Chuuya shouted.

     "Shhhh Chibi! You don't want to get us kicked out of this nice restaurant, do you?" Dazai tilted his head.

     "As if, you'll likely get us kicked out first" Chuuya scoffed.

     "Anyways... When I win, Chuuya doesn't get to complain about the dog comments for a whole day!" Dazai cheered.

     "Fine!" Chuuya agreed.

     Soon enough their food orders arrived, as well as the wine.

     "Itadakimasu" they say before eating.

     After their food, Chuuya was determined to win the bet he made with Dazai. Sadly for Chuuya, he was destined to pass out. 

     Dazai pat Chuuya on the back. "I told you so" Dazai sighed.

     Then, he prepared to hoist Chuuya up. Yamada and Aizawa stopped him.

     "One of us can help." Aizawa said.

     "It's fine! I'm used to it!" Dazai laughed them off.

     To the surprise of Yamada and Hizashi, Dazai easily hoisted Chuuya up. Though maybe it wasn't that surprising, considering how short Chuuya is.

     As if sensing someone thinking he's short, he muttered something angrily in his sleep.

     Dazai simply chuckled in response. Dazai swiped Chuuya's wallet and payed using the money inside.

     "Woah! We can pay!" Yamada offered.

     "Nah. This is funnier! Besides, the Chibi already agreed to pay, as much as he'll complain." Dazai smirked.

     They all went to the car, Dazai carrying Chuuya to it and even allowing Chuuya to lean against him, even though he didn't want the slugs germs all over him. Dazai was such a gracious master for his doggy.

     Once they all got in the car, they drove to Yamada and Aizawa's teacher dorm at UA.

     Upon arriving at the dorm, they all head inside, Dazai carrying Chuuya.

     Well, Aizawa has to unlock the door before they head inside, but semantics.

     "We have two spare bedrooms, since you're awake you get the first lucky pick." Aizawa informs.

     "I think I'll stick with Chibi. My dog gets nervous in new places by himself" Dazai says.

     "Not a dog" Chuuya mutters against him.

     "Oh my! Seems that Chibi is awake! After all that alcohol, I thought he wouldn't be awake for another few hours at the least!" Dazai says.

      "Shuddup." Chuuya grumbles.

      Dazai simply smiles in response.

     "Mm? Where-" Chuuya blinked, looking around.

     "You passed out at the restaurant, silly Chibi. I had to carry you to the car!" Dazai reminds.

     "I lost" and Chuuya sounds too much like a kicked puppy for Dazai's tastes.

     Dazai hesitates for a moment, before deciding he doesn't care that much and outright saying it. "Yeah, you did"

     Chuuya punches him in the arm.

     "Bastard." he says.

     "Ow! Chuuyaaaaa-kuuuun! You know I hate pain!"

     Chuuya closes his eyes and ignores him, quickly falling back to sleep.

     "Make yourselves at home!" Yamada tells them before he and Aizawa leave them to it.

     Dazai takes a cursory glance at both rooms before picking one and placing Chuuya on the bed.

     Dazai keeps watch as Chuuya sleeps. He soon grows bored and texts his colleagues, mainly Kunikida.

      'Hey' -Dazai

     'I'm busy working Dazai-kun. This better be important.' -Kunikida

     'it is! °˖✧(^U^)°˖✧' -Dazai

     'What is it?' -Kunikida

     'im suffering... from boredom! plz help! ((유∀유|||))' -Dazai

     '...' -Kunikida

     'what?' -Dazai

     'Kunikida?' -Dazai

      'Why'd you stop responding?! TnT' -Dazai

     'Stop texting me, I'm trying to work.' -Kunikida

     'but kunikida-kuuuuuun!!!!!' -Dazai

     'What?' -Kunikida

     'you're still responding! (ˆꇴˆ✿)' -Dazai

     'Dazai I swear if I could strangle you through this phone, I would' -Kunikida

     'Sadly, I cannot accept as you are not a beautiful woman!' -Dazai

     Dazai entertained himself for a few hours like this, texting his coworkers. It was so easy to rile Kunikida up!

      "Hey! You two want dinner?" Yamada shouted up.

     "We'll be down in a bit!" Dazai shouted back.

     Chuuya grumbled something incomprehensible.

     Dazai poked Chuuya until he was angrily squinting at him.

     "We got to eat dinner, unless that hangover you no doubt have is making you too nauseous?" Dazai says.

     Chuuya shakes his head. "I'm fine"

      He stumbled a bit before Dazai helped him get up.

     "Let go of me asshole" Chuuya says.

     "Can you really walk by yourself right now?" Dazai asks rhetorically.

     Chuuya grumbles but concedes. With that, they head to the kitchen.

      Chuuya squints at the lights on in the house, but doesn't say anything. Dazai understands anyway.

      Chuuya sits down in one of the dining table chairs as Dazai gets him some water.

     "Got any cups we could borrow?" Dazai asks, though he doesn't really care if they say yes as he's already searching.

     "Yamada did say make yourselves at home, didn't he? The cups are over there by the way" Aizawa says.

      Dazai grabs a cup and fills it with water. Then he brings it to Chuuya. Chuuya wordlessly takes the cup and starts drinking from it.

     Dazai takes his place next to Chuuya as Yamada and Aizawa bring out the food.

     "Hope neither of you mind takeout! Neither of us can really cook..." Yamada admits.

     "Itadakimasu" They say before digging in. Well, Dazai doesn't dig in.

     Dazai pokes around his food for a bit, moving it around to look like he's eaten some before loudly claiming "Ah~ Seems I'm full now"

     Dazai attempts to leave the table. Then Chuuya yanks him down by the sleeve without looking at him.

     "You ungrateful bastard, you barely ate a thing!"

     Damn! Seems Chuuya noticed.

     "Ugh! My dog is so insistent!" Dazai says, but ultimately ends up eating at least half his meal. 

      Once everyone eats, they head to bed.

Chapter Text

     Chuuya wakes to the mackerel playing on his phone with the occasional glance over at Chuuya.

     "...Bastard, did you sleep at all?" Chuuya asks.

     "I'm surprised Chuuya didn't wake up with a hangover considering all the alcohol he drank yesterday." Dazai says.

     "Don't avoid the question, dammit!" Chuuya curses.

     Dazai's smile tightens in what would have been an imperceptible way to anyone but Chuuya.

     "Besides," Chuuya continues, "I drank in the middle of the day"

     "Like a heathen" Dazai adds.

     "You drank too!" Chuuya exclaims.

     "That reminds me, remember our bet yesterday?" Dazai grins.

     Chuuya thinks for a bit, then pales.

     "I get to have my dog accept that he's a dog for a day!" Dazai cheers.

     "We agreed that I wouldn't complain- Nobody said anything about accepting shit!" Chuuya argued.

     Dazai shushed Chuuya. "That sounds a lot like complaining! Thankfully, your gracious master will let that one slide!"

      Chuuya bit his lip to prevent himself from arguing more.

     "As you can probably tell, despite your chibi brain, I'm taking my reward for the bet today!" Dazai says.

     Chuuya sighs "Whatever, bastard."

     "Good boy" Dazai praises, smug.

     Chuuya starts to unpack.

     Dazai sighs and flops onto the bed. 

     "What now?" Chuuya asks.

     "Chuuya should unpack for me" Dazai pouts.

     "Lazy bastard. Now why should I do that?" Chuuya asks.

     "Because dogs should do things for their masters." Dazai says, as if it's obvious.

     Chuuya clenches his fist.

     "Is my doggy getting angry?" Dazai grins.

     "I hate you" Chuuya's voice is strained.

     "I hate you too" Dazai's voice is way to gleeful for the words.

     Chuuya grumbles but doesn't say much else as he unpacks. Dazai closes his eyes as Chuuya works.

     Despite his earlier words, Chuuya voice still rings out "What the fuck? Did you have to pack half your suitcase with canned crab?"

     "Decided to help your master after all?" Dazai opens one of his eyes to look at Chuuya.

     "Never mind. Only someone insane would think they need this much crab." Chuuya says.

     "You're so mean" Dazai pouts.

     "Oh please, anyone that knows you has at least some idea of how insane you are." Chuuya says.

     Before Dazai can retort, there is knocking on the door.

     "We're gonna meet with the rest of the staff later, so get ready when you can." Yamada informs them. 

     "Alright shitty Dazai. We're going to make a great impression, so you better shower" Chuuya tells Dazai.

     "Ugh! If my dog insists" Dazai accepts.

     "Before you go, here. You probably 'forgot' your own anyway." Chuuya hands Dazai some shampoo, conditioner and soap.

     Dazai gags "You act like you care"

     Chuuya snorts "As if"

     Dazai finds the shower and uses it. He's tempted to use up all the hot water to annoy a certain chibi, but decides to be kind. He showers quickly and gets dressed in the bathroom.

     Chuuya showers and dresses after him.

     "Did you forget to brush your hair? I said I wanted us to make a good impression, idiot!" Chuuya yanks Dazai by the collar onto the bed, then sits cross-legged behind him with a brush so he can get the shitty knots out of a shitty fish's hair. Dazai lets him. Now Chuuya is only gentle with brushing because he knows the bastard would complain and make it Chuuya's problem if he wasn't.

     Soon, they're ready. And just in time. They get some food and eat breakfast real quick. Of course the fishy bastard decides to eat some canned crab for breakfast. Well, at least the bastard is having something. Chuuya just grabs a banana.

     Once finished eating, they leave with Aizawa and Yamada to meet the other staff.

     Yesterday Yamada had been in his civilian outfit so that they could draw less attention, and Aizawa is an underground hero so he wasn't as widely known.

     Chuuya thought Yamada's hairstyle was a bit much, but whatever.

     Upon opening the door to the staff meeting room, Chuuya realized something. Looks like there were things more out there than Yamada's hairstyle. Like who Chuuya assumed to be one of the teachers wearing a skimpy outfit. What the fuck? Chuuya thought this was a school!

     With Chuuya trying to comprehend just what fuckery was going on here, Dazai managed to slip past his defenses and kneel in front of the woman.

     Taking the woman's hands, he asked "You are as beautiful and elegant as a rose, would you care to join me, in a double sui-"

    Chuuya smacked Dazai before he could finish.

     "Stop asking women that, you vagabond!" Chuuya scolded.

     He turned to the woman, and noting her concerned gaze he clarified"Sorry about this bastard. Sadly, he's always like this."

     "Young man, I'm sure that there are those that would care if you were to pass away" an obviously underweight teacher said. 

     Like- it was really concerning. Well, Chuuya tries not to be an asshole, so he won't bring it up. It'd probably scare the poor guy off if he did that.

     "Wow! I never knew All Might was this skinny!" said Dazai, because he doesn't try not to be an asshole.

     "Asshole! You can't just say stuff like that!" Chuuya admonished him.

     "Why not?" Dazai tilted his head.

     Oh? He's playing socially inept? Well, Dazai is socially inept, considering he keeps, asking women to commit suicide with him, but he's also a wordsmith, able to command a room with words alone. Well, Dazai could play the clown all he wants, doesn't stop him from being an asshole while doing it.

     Chuuya lets out a long-suffering sigh.

     "It's a pleasure to be joined by such interesting people, I must say" says a small... Furry?

     "Am I a dog or a mouse or a bear? But more importantly... I'm the principal, Nedzu!" the furry, Nedzu apparently, says.

     "The pleasure is ours! I've heard so much about you! I'm Dazai, and this" Dazai points at Chuuya, "is my dog for life, Chuuya!"

     Chuuya bites his lip so hard it bleeds.

     "...I'm Nakahara Chuuya" he finally manages to get out, after preventing his manslaughter of Dazai.

     "We never got around to letting you know our hero names, did we?" Yamada spoke.

     "My hero name is Present Mic! And this guy's hero name is Eraserhead!" Yamada points at Aizawa.

     The woman Dazai tried asking to commit double suicide with him, introduces herself as "Nemuri Kayama, AKA the R-Rated Hero Midnight!"

     "The fuck is someone going by "the R-Rated Hero" doing in a school full of teenagers?" Chuuya asks.

     "Trust me, this is way more tame than her previous costume." Aizawa states.

     "...That's not what I asked" Chuuya is interrupted by some cement block head looking guy.

     "I'm Ken Ishiyama. Hero name: Cementoss" he introduces himself.

     "Hero name: Ectoplasm. Don't feel like sharing my real name" Ectoplasm says.

      "Hero name's Snipe. Sorry, but no real name from me either" Snipe apologizes.

     "Sekijiro Kan, AKA Blood Hero: Vlad King" Sekijiro introduces himself.

     "You already know me as All Might, but I'd like you to know me as Toshinori Yagi too" Toshinori says.

     "Power Loader, AKA Higari Maijima" Higari says.

     "I go by Lunch Rush. I serve lunch at the school." Lunch Rush introduces.

     "With introductions out of the way, what can you tell us about the case?" Dazai asks.

Chapter Text

     "I began suspecting a traitor due to conveniently timed and targeted attacks on our students." Nedzu says.

     Aizawa steps forward. "The first attack was at the USJ, or the Unforeseen Simulation Joint. Their target was originally All Might. Since he wasn't there, they attacked the students."

     "I regret not being there sooner" Toshinori mutters.

     "Communication had been cut off between the USJ and everyone outside. Thankfully, a student managed to escape and get backup from us!" Yamada says.

     "That was Iida. He's the class president of 1A" Aizawa clarifies.

     "The next incident with the LOV was between Midoriya, another 1A student, and Shigaraki, one of the members of the League." Aizawa continues.

     "The last, and worst incident, was at the training camp. One of our students, Bakugo, was captured and a hero and a student were both injured. Both Class 1A and 1B were there" Nedzu says.

     "I assume that villain that All Might fought was involved" Dazai says.

     Toshinori freezes momentarily, then he speaks "Regretfully, he was an enemy I had failed to defeat in the past"

     "I see." Dazai says.

     "What are you thinking, bastard?" Chuuya asks.

     "Good news! I doubt it's any of you that are the traitor!" Dazai says.

     "Anything else to share, genius?" Chuuya asks.

     "I think it's best to observe class 1A for now. That's all!" Dazai smiles.

     Nezu nods "It's as I feared."

     "Isn't it a good thing that none of us teachers are the traitor?" Toshinori asks.

     "It means that our traitor could very well be a student" Nedzu says.

     "..." Everyone is silent. 

     Dazai claps his hands together. "Well I think that this has been a great meeting and all, but... Why haven't we met the other two staff members?" Dazai asks.

     "Shiyo, or Recovery Girl, is busy getting ready for any students that may visit her. While Ryo, or Hound Dog, is busy counseling students. I'm sure you'll be able to meet them soon." Nedzu answers.

     "One more thing! Will we be able to get the incident reports from the police, since we have agreed to take on the case?" Dazai asks.

     "I have a friend in the force. I can get him to put in a good word for you." Toshinori says.

     "Seems everything is settled! Class is starting soon, so you better hurry along to your respective classes. As for you two, you can follow Eraserhead" Nedzu tells them.

     Chuuya and Dazai nod and do that.

     Aizawa walks with them into the 1A classroom, gathering the students attention.

     "These two are going to be guarding your class for the foreseeable future. Don't bother me while you ask your questions."

     Aizawa then flops onto and zips himself into his sleeping bag.

     Chaos rings out in the classroom.

     "What are your names?" One asks,

     "What are your quirks?" another says.

     "Are you heroes? Like the teachers?" someone asks,

     "Where are you from?" another asks.

     "I didn't know UA was hiring???" someone's confused,

      Before either of them can say anything, one voice rings above the rest.

     "Everyone quiet down! We must show respect to the new staff members!"

     'Ah- That must be the class president. Somewhat reminds me of Kunikida' Dazai thinks. He grins. 'Could mean he'd be fun to mess with'

     Chuuya gives him an admonishing look as if he knows what Dazai is thinking.

     Dazai pouts, because Chuuya is no fun. :(

     Chuuya sighs.

     They turn to face the class once they finish quieting down.

     "I'm Nakahara Chuuya" Chuuya introduces himself.

     "And I'm Dazai Osamu!" Dazai cheerfully introduces himself.

     Most the class raises their hands.

     "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm... I think I'll choose... YOU!" he points at the pink girl.

     "Are you both single?" she asks.

     "Sadly, I am. The waitress at the cafe near my usual workplace keeps rejecting my advances" Dazai shrugs, then says "As for my dog..."

     "I'm single, not that it's any of your business" Chuuya interrupts.

     Chuuya then points to a green haired kid who looks ready to burst with questions.

     "Do your gloves have anything to do with your quirk?" he asks. Then he turns to Dazai, "Speaking of things having to do with quirks, do your bandages have anything to do with yours? My first thought your probably covering skin as maybe a preventative measure like how Midnight covers her skin when not using her quirk. Then again considering her previous outfit she doesn't really need a preventative measure but your quirk could be similar but different to hers. Or maybe your quirk has nothing to do with it? Your hands are free so perhaps it has something to do with skin contact" the kid devolves into muttering.

    "Nobody can understand your stupid muttering Deku!" some spiky haired blond kid shouts. 

     Chuuya raises a brow at the blond kid. "Was he talking to you?"

     The blond kid splutters. 

     "Exactly" Dazai nods.

     Chuuya turns to Deku he thinks the kids name might be? Sounds more like an insult than a name to be honest.

     "To answer your question, my ability is For The Tainted Sorrow. It allows me to manipulate gravity." Chuuya says.

    "And my ability is called No Longer Human. It allows me to reverse the power of any ability! As for my bandages? They're a fashion statement" Dazai says.

     The green haired kid looks like he wants to say more, but Chuuya interrupts.

     "You seem smart. We'll have to talk more later." He smiles at the kid.

     "Such a rude doggy, not even letting someone get another word in!" Dazai says.

     Chuuya resists the urge to strangle Dazai.

     Dazai points at another of the kids.

     "I'm Kaminari Denki! I was wondering, why call them abilities and not quirks?"

     "Regional differences" Dazai shrugs.

      Chuuya points at another kid.

     "I'm Iida Tenya! Since you will be overseeing us, does that mean that you'll have the same amount of authority as the teachers?" Iida says.

     Chuuya looks at Dazai, gauging his reaction.

     "I'd assume so!" Dazai says.

     Chuuya nods.

     Dazai picks another student.

     "Yaoyorozu Momo speaking! I was wondering if you'd end up assisting in any of our classes, considering you're here anyways..." Yaoyorozu trails off.

     "That's up to your teachers" Chuuya grunts.

    "What? My doggy doesn't want to help out some nice students?" Dazai teases.

     "I never said that!" Chuuya objects.

     Dazai points at an invisible girl.

     "Hagakure Toru here! So glad you noticed me!"

     "Why wouldn't he? Bastard notices everything" Chuuya says.

     "Well... Never mind that- I was thinking, you both look pretty young. How old are you?" Hagakure asks.

     "Me and my doggy are both in our twenties!" Dazai answers.

     'So young!' Class 1A all think.

     Chuuya tries not to burst a blood vessel as he points at another kid.

     "Asui Tsuyu here. I was thinking, isn't your quirk similar to Ochako-chan's, Nakahara-san?"

     Chuuya blinks. "Really?"

    "Well my quirk is just being able to nullify gravity" Uraraka says.

     "Well, I think that's enough questions for now! We've been talking for quite a bit!" Dazai says.

     There are various sounds of disappointment in the classroom.

     The bell rings. 

     "Seems it's time for lunch anyways!" Dazai cheers.