Archive of Our Own ^beta

Will knew something was wrong. He knew it . He could hear alarms ringing loudly inside his head from the moment he left their house until he stepped into the pharmacy.

He spent days thinking it over, trying to convince himself he was wrong and today he had finally decided.

And now here he was, in a public restroom, white knuckling the sink, while that stupid test glared at him from the corner.

No way.

No fucking way.

How did they even let this happen? How did he let this happen? Should he go to a doctor? He definitely should go to the doctor.

He took a deep breath, his hands were shaking. How to tell Hannibal? Should he tell Hannibal? It all went so well with his other children, he thought ironically. Did he even want to keep it?

He had conflicting feelings about it, he knew men could get pregnant and he knew it worked a little differently from women, but he never cared much about learning more about it, after all, he never even considered having a child of his own.

They should have been more careful for sure, but he fucked Hannibal all the time as well and nothing happened. At least he thinks nothing happened. Hannibal would tell him.

And here he was, thinking about not telling him.

Maybe he was the bad husband in the relationship. Hannibal was right when he told him he knew better than to breed, he had - still has - so many issues, why would he want to pass that on to a child? Why would he bring someone into the world just to watch them suffer like he did? That would be selfish, he never wanted this.

Should he get rid of it?

How long did he have until having to start thinking about it as an actual baby?

Shit, he really needs a doctor.

How are they going to keep regular appointments, in busy hospitals, with security, with cameras? That would be impossible. They would get caught, someone will recognize them. It will be way harder to flee with a baby to carry.

Will takes another shaky breath and stares at himself in the mirror.

He takes another test to be sure.

Yes, he bought more.

And when that one turns positive as well, he takes another one.

And it’s positive.

And then he breaks them all and throws them in the trash can.

“Got everything on the list?” Hannibal asks when he enters the kitchen, groceries in hand.

“Yeah, I think so.” he murmurs.

He puts the bags on the counter and discreetly looks at Hannibal’s back. He’s cutting up something, preparing dinner, he watches the doctor’s hands work fast with the knife.

He wanted Abigail to be their daughter, not anyone else, never considered anyone else, Wally wasn’t his. He wanted her there, to raise her, no matter how old she was already, he wanted them to raise her together.

“Is there something wrong, Will?”

“Hm?” he didn’t even notice Hannibal had turned around and was now looking at him.

“I asked if there’s something wrong, you seem concerned.”

“No, no, I’m not. Everything’s alright.”

“Did you encounter someone unpleasant on your trip to town?”

He huffs a laugh, “No, nothing happened, really. I’m fine.”

Hannibal comes closer, brings one hand to cup his scared cheek, and for a moment their back on his old kitchen in Baltimore and there’s blood all over him.

“You would tell me if something’s wrong, wouldn’t you?” Hannibal whispers, and god how much Will loves this monster.

He loves the life they carved together after the fall, no matter how hard it was in the beginning. He loves their home. He loves their dog. He loves their hunts. Was another addition needed? Did Hannibal want it?

His throat feels too tight and he knows he’ll choke on the words so instead he holds Hannibal’s hand to his face and leans to press his lips to his.

“Of course. Everything’s alright, I promise.”

Hannibal doesn’t seem one hundred percent convinced but nods anyways, and lets the moment go, turning to continue preparing their food.

Will goes up to their bedroom and only when the door is closed behind him does he let a big sigh escape him.

He needed to know how far he was already.

But alas, he couldn’t bring himself to make an appointment. Every time he grabbed the phone his hands started to shake and he couldn’t do it. He hadn't told Hannibal yet either, he doesn’t know how.

His anxiety might be illogical, he knows Hannibal wouldn’t react that badly, but he is scared anyway. They never discussed having children of their own because it never seemed to be even an option. And now here he is. With something growing inside him every passing second and he is scared shitless.

And that’s when the thought hits him.

Hannibal could smell sickness. He could smell encephalitis, he could smell fear. Who’s to say he can’t smell pregnancies? He probably can. Shit, he probably really can, he probably already knows and is just waiting for Will to tell him.

He takes a couple of minutes to calm himself down and then almost runs downstairs. Hannibal is in their study, book in hand, and he looks up over his reading glasses when Will enters the room. He just hopes he doesn’t look too desperate.

“Is everything alright, Will?”

“Uh, yeah. Yes. I was just thinking…”

“About what?” Hannibal puts the book and his glasses down on the small table next to him and gestures for Will to come closer. Will spreads his legs and sits on the doctor's knees, straddling him, Hannibal’s hands immediately find his waist.

“If there was something going on with me, like physically, you would tell me right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like when I had encephalitis you could smell it. If there was something else, you would know, right?”

“Is there something bothering you? Do you suspect you’re sick?”

“No, no-” it’s rare to see Hannibal completely open, expression readable, and it makes Will’s heart ache. He is confused, he is worried, he doesn’t know, “I’m not sick, I was just wondering.”

“You have been acting strange lately, Will, if there is something, I would appreciate it if you tell me.”

Will strokes the sides of his face, trying to find a way to calm his worries without giving anything away yet. He brings his forehead to rest on his.

“I will tell you if I ever feel anything wrong but I’m fine. I guess I was just mulling over some stuff from the past.”

“I wouldn’t keep anything from you now, Will, you know that.”

“Yes.”

Yes, he knows. And it makes him feel awful.

He has no idea why he is so scared to tell Hannibal but he is becoming paranoid. Morning sickness started a couple of days ago and he rushes out of bed as quietly as he can every morning.

Unfortunately, his morning sickness hits extremely early in the morning, and he just wants to sleep now. One day. One day without puking his guts out as silently as humanly possible.

He has to go back to bed after, and obviously Hannibal notices, there would be no way that would happen every morning without him noticing. Will doesn’t think he heard him in the bathroom though, so when he asks Will just tells him his bladder apparently decided to be very regular now.

He starts to panic when they’re cuddling and Hannibal rests a hand on his stomach. He knows there’s nothing to be felt yet but the fear is still there. They have been working out since they’re healed enough to do so, and even though his stomach isn’t completely flat, he has enough muscle to hide it for longer if necessary, and still .

When that happens he holds Hannibal’s arm in his and brings it to his chest, saying it is more comfortable like that because they’re closer.

The next weeks turned out to be his living hell and when he has to run to the bathroom mid lunch to empty his stomach he knows he can’t push back anymore. He needs to go see a doctor. He can’t handle Hannibal’s hurt expression when he thought that it was his food that made him sick.

Will reassured him that it must have been something he ate in the city, and told him he grabbed something at a gas station on the way home because he was hungry and it didn’t fall nicely in his system.

Hannibal isn’t very happy about that either.

Next time he is in town he just walks into the hospital.

He couldn’t bring himself to make an appointment in the end but when he passed by he knew he had to go. He told the front desk that he suspected he was pregnant and if they could fit him in any time soon. They did. That same day.

As he sat in the waiting room he couldn’t stop bouncing his leg. Hannibal was the only thing on his mind and he desperately wanted him there. He was stupid for not telling him, he needed him there.

It took a long time until he was finally called to go in and he had to text Hannibal to warn him he would be late. It was already mid afternoon when he entered the hospital anyway.

The room was cold, the stretcher was cold, the gel was cold and he hated everything in the world at the moment. Then the nice lady told him he was already entering the fourth month and his world fell apart once more.

Four.

He can’t get rid of it anymore.

Hannibal already lost three months of an experience Will is pretty sure he would like to be a part of if given the chance.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It needs to be tonight.

He has to tell him.

He procrastinates on going home, and even though it’s not that late, when he gets home it’s already dark and Hannibal is sitting in their bed, reclined against the headboard, reading. He puts the book down the moment Will opens the door.

“Tell me.”

Hannibal’s voice is hoarse, rough, with something Will can’t quite pinpoint. He doesn’t answer right away, he takes his clothes off first, then slips in his sleeping shorts and shirt, and after what feels like an eternity, he sits next to Hannibal, legs under the covers.

“Tell me, Will.”

“Listen, I’m-”

“You have been acting strangely, you avoid me, you feel sick, you smell like the hospital, why have you been to the hospital, Will?”

“Let me speak please, I’m trying to find a way-”

“Are you really sick? Is that why you asked me that a while ago? Did I miss something? Did I fail you, Will ?” Hannibal turns to him, resting on his left arm, Will feels that choking feeling come back, he hurt Hannibal again.

“No, no, no. I promise. I’m fine. It’s nothing like that, I’m healthy, I swear.” he brings his hands to the older man’s face and brings him closer, letting Hannibal curl his arms around him this time.

“I need to tell you something and I want you to promise me you won’t be mad for not telling you sooner.”

“Will-”

“Promise.”

“I promise.”

“And I want you to know I’m really sorry about it.”

“Will-”

“I’m pregnant.”

The silence stretches for long seconds between them. Hannibal’s silence is usually a reason for concern and-

“You are… pregnant.” he finally says, Will is very still in his arms.

“Yes.”

“How long have you known?”

“A while.”

“How far are you?”

“Entering the fourth month apparently.”

There’s a pause again, just as long.

“And you were scared to tell me.” it wasn’t a question.

“Hannibal, I- I’m sorry. I was, uh, I am scared. I am so fucking scared, this wasn’t on the plans, it’ll make our lives much harder. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t want to give you hope when I didn’t know if I wanted to keep it yet and-”

“And now you do?”

“Now it’s too late.”

“No, it’s not. I’m a doctor - a surgeon - Will, I can do it safely even in later stages, if needed. If you want to.”

Will is stunned for a moment, “You would do that?”

“If that’s what you want, yes.”

“What do you want?”

“I want you. I want you to be happy and healthy. If something happens I’ll choose you, always. If you don’t want it we let it go. If you want it then I’ll want it too.” he sighs, “No, it wasn’t planned at all but I can love them if we agree on having them.”

“You’re taking this strangely well.”

“For weeks all I could smell on you was fear and anxiety, I thought of everything I could manage for the cause but couldn’t find it, I thought of the worse. Pregnancy never crossed my mind though, and those scents only grew stronger.”

“That’s why you couldn’t smell it.”

“Yes, I imagine so.”

Will pulls him closer still, bringing the doctor's head to rest on his shoulder. To know that his anxiety was so high that it covered a whole pregnancy somehow makes him feel worse.

“So… what now?”

“Tell me what you really want.”

“I- I don’t know.” he feels foolish to have tears brimming in his eyes, “I really don’t know, I’m scared.”

“I know, Will.”

“Tell me what to do.” he sniffs.

“All the changes will happen to your body, not mine. I can and will help but it will all be on you. It is your choice, and I’ll be here no matter what it is.”

“I can’t go to regular appointments, we will get caught at some point.”

“If that is your worry I will get everything we need. Any machinery necessary, I will study and bring you anything you need. We will find a way.” Hannibal looks up at him and cradles his face, “We will be fine, Will.”

He lets two lone tears fall over his cheeks and nuzzles into Hannibal’s hand.

“We will?”

“Yes, I promise.”

“What if I pass on these terrible genes? I knew better than to breed.” he gives a weak smile and Hannibal smiles in return.

“I am a good psychiatrist.”

Will laughs, and then they wait until the tears dry and his heart isn’t pumping so fast.

“So, do you want to keep it, Will?”

Hannibal lets his hand trace lower until it rests on Will’s lower belly for the first time.

“ Yes .”

Hannibal joins him in the bathroom every morning after that, rubbing his back and pushing his curls away from his forehead. He helps him wash up and makes sure he gets as much sleep as possible. He only starts cooking after going through all the ingredients with Will so that if something looks or feels like it’ll make him sick, Hannibal can promptly throw it away.

Hannibal is behaving exactly as he expected, and now all the anxiety and fear makes him feel ridiculous. Hormones really mess you up. He’s still scared though, more so than he has been all his life.

They are both more than thrilled when the morning sickness stops. The first time they woke up past eight and in no rush to the bathroom let's say that, uh, they stayed in there until nearly noon.

That’s another thing that none of them is complaining about. Will is sure that he has never been more horny in all his years of life, not even as a teenager. He knew a lot of pregnant people felt pretty bad and tired all the time but maybe he hasn’t reached that stage yet because he really couldn’t be further from being tired.

He can’t get enough of Hannibal, and he needs to say, for someone his age he is doing pretty good. Will knows he is not easy to deal with these days. It’s like he needs to have his hands on Hannibal all the time. They have had sex on nearly every surface of the house, Will thinks he might actually be going insane.

Not just getting off himself, but seeing Hannibal get off, knowing he is the one to bring him there makes his blood run hotter just from the thought alone.

He wakes up before Hannibal one rare morning and as bad as he feels about it he has to wake him up. His erection refuses to go down and he has beared enough. He kisses Hannibal’s neck and face until he murmurs something and Will only needs a nod that seems to be awake enough for him to go down on him right away.

Hannibal groans when Will’s mouth touches his already half hard cock, Will has been getting better and better at it since the start of their relationship. Not that he was bad at it in the begging. Far from it, if you ask Hannibal. Though now making Hannibal come is not his only objective, because he really wants, needs , him inside of him. He reaches behind his back to open himself up with lube that he grabbed earlier from his night stand while taking Hannibal deep in his throat.

Hannibal tightens his holds on his hair and he moans around him, the vibrations making the doctor squirm under him.

When he deems himself ready he slides Hannibal’s cock out of his mouth, immediately straddling him and kissing him. It’s sloppy, it’s too wet, and he feels like he’ll come the moment Hannibal enters him.

Hannibal helps him back up and to sit back down, sliding into him in one go. It’s too wet to be painful or uncomfortable, and Will’s been too sensitive to care anyway.

He only rolls his hips in circles for a while, feeling how Hannibal reaches all the right places, as the man holds his hips and watches.

Hannibal loves to watch him take his pleasure, even if his movements don’t give him much. Hannibal knows pregnancy makes him, as everyone else, much more sensitive, and it is a beautiful sight. Eventually Will starts moving up and down, and he throws his head back with a moan when Hannibal meets his thrusts.

They stay like that for a while, not chasing anything, simply basking in the pleasure they can bring the other. Will leans back, hands come to the top of Hannibal’s thighs behind him and all of a sudden Hannibal stops.

Will groans in frustration and is about to be very vocal about it when Hannibal shushes him.

“Look.” Hannibal says.

His hands caress his sides with so much love it’s almost overwhelming. Will’s not sure what exactly he is supposed to be looking at but-

Oh .

He’s showing.

It’s the first time he is noticing it, he never really cared much to look at himself in the mirror, and apparently it’s Hannibal’s first time seeing it too. It’s not a lot really, just a small bump, but it is his bump. Their bump.

It should be a kind of obscene sight actually, seeing as he’s still hard and leaking against that very same bump but he can’t really care about that as he holds Hannibal’s hand to press it into his stomach.

When Hannibal looks at him there are tears in his eyes and that brings tears to his own and after that, well, none of them lasts much longer.

It’s like they can’t stop noticing it after they saw it that one time. Now Will feels like he’s getting bigger every day, even though he knows that’s not actually true. Well, it is, just not visibly true.

Somehow, he doesn’t know how - and he’s not sure he wants to - Hannibal does get them the necessary machinery. For everything. He got everything Will can remember from when he went to the hospital.

He doesn’t know what kind of contacts Hannibal has to be able to bring in a full medical room worth of equipment but he is grateful to whoever got them all that. He is even more relieved that they don’t need a hospital, he fully trusts Hannibal’s knowledge, and on top of all he already knew, the man has been studying non stop. He is in good hands, couldn’t be in better hands, actually.

The first time Hannibal lays him down for an ultrasound it’s not as uncomfortable as he remembers. The nice lady was good but nothing compares to his husband, not even the gel felt so cold.

They heard their heartbeat for the first time together, with no doctor or nurse in the room, averting their gaze to give them a fake sense of privacy. It’s just them, and even though they are late, and should have started doing this a long time ago, Will is grateful for it. Better late than never.

Hannibal looks around for some time, and in the end, declares that everything seems to be alright. Even without regular check-ins they are both fine. They are both healthy. Will lets out a breath he didn’t even notice he was holding.

“Do you want to know the gender?” Hannibal asks suddenly.

Will looks at him surprised, actually, that hasn’t crossed his mind, in the beginning it was just it and then he got used to saying them, but now that he thinks about it…

“You already know.”

“Well, I have been looking at them for quite some time now.” Hannibal smiles.

“Yes, you have.”

“So, what is your guess, boy or girl?”

“What if it’s neither?” he teases.

“Then we wait for them to talk and tell us.”

Will laughs, he knows. He knows deep down, and has known since the beginning. Hannibal already knew too even though they had no way to prove it.

“It’s a girl.” Will says.

“It is a girl.” Hannibal nods, a smile still on his lips.

“We’re having another girl.” Will laughs, suddenly he is crying again.

He misses Abigail, he desperately wanted her there to meet her sister.

“Yes, we are.” Hannibal wipes a stray tear with his thumb, resting it on his good cheek, “And she is okay and healthy.”

Will laughs and nods again, more tears spilling from his eyes as Hannibal lays down to rest his forehead on his, one hand on his belly.

“A girl… god, we’re having a baby.”

“Yes, Will. Yes we are…”

Hannibal has forbidden him from going hunting. With those exact words. Like he is a child. Like as if he can actually forbid him.

“I am very serious.” he had said.

And he actually believes he can.

With that said, Will only agreed to it if Hannibal could keep from going himself until the child is born. Hannibal wasn’t that happy about the proposition but accepted it anyway. It would be only fair after all.

Problem being: about two weeks after that argument, Will wanted, needed, craved , their preferred meat. Hannibal had refined his tastes and now the difference is so obvious he can’t ignore it anymore. Now, nearing the eighth month, Will grew more restless and his cravings got stronger. He didn’t like to bother Hannibal that much, usually kept it to himself for as long as possible but he needed it really bad.

And so, Hannibal left.

And came back with a pig that turned out to be more than delicious after Hannibal put his hands on him.

As a thank you, Will pressed Hannibal against the counter after the man finished washing the dishes, sunk down on his knees, and gave him the blowjob of his life. He only let it go from his mouth when Hannibal pulled him away, already too sensitive.

Will stood up to kiss him, letting Hannibal palm his crotch only to realize he had already come in his pants. Untouched. Hannibal groaned into his mouth but it seems that only made the doctor more eager to touch him for real.

With the way he has been lately, getting hard again wasn’t a real issue. Hannibal had him leaking again in a few minutes. He turned Will around, being careful with his now very obvious belly, and stroked him. His own erection, coming to life again, pressed into the crevice of Will’s ass as he rutted against him at the same pace as his strokes.

Will threw his back against his shoulder, not knowing if he wanted to press back or thrust into Hannibal’s warm hold. Hannibal kissed his neck and shoulder, feeling his dear boy, shudder and squirm against his chest as he sped up his hand a bit. He gently cupped his balls, pressing circles with his thumb on the base of Will’s cock making him moan, back arching against Hannibal’s front.

Hannibal brought his free hand to his belly, holding it where it started to curve, gave one long, final stroke from base to tip, at the same time the head of his own erection caught on Will’s hole and that was all the empath needed to come again.

They didn’t move for a while, catching their breaths, still standing with their pants around their knees and ankles. Hannibal caressed his belly with both hands after reaching from a table cloth to wipe the come off with, and Will turned his head back to kiss him with a smile on his lips.

Maybe he didn’t hate hormones that much.

Will started to panic again three weeks before what they supposed to be the week of the delivery. If their math is right in a few weeks they’ll be parents. Real parents. From a child of their own. Said child that feels too big and restless now.

The previous months went by too quickly, and they were good, it was peacefully safe from those more emotional moments. They were happy and healthy and that should be all that mattered.

But if Will thought he was scared when he found out about the pregnancy he really had no idea what was coming.

They put a crib in their own room, and until the machinery was all gone, that would be the baby’s room as well. They’d figure the other one out later. That also made him feel better, knowing that if something happened or if she needed them, they would be right there.

But that small reassurement didn’t ease his nerves.

He feels sleepy, he feels hungry, he feels way too heavy. He desperately wants it to be over now. But he is dreading the day he’s due like he’ll catch the plague the moment the clock turns midnight.

“What if I can’t do it?”

“You can, Will, I’ll be there.” Hannibal reassures him once again. They are in bed, laying against the pillows, he is on his back and Hannibal curled on his side, one hand gently stroking his belly.

“I know you will, but what if I can’t?”

“I didn’t take you for being so self conscious.”

“I’m not, it’s just- I’ll be pushing a whole baby out of me, that doesn’t seem fun.”

“I’m afraid it won’t be fun, but it will be okay, I’ll help as much as I can, we will make it as easy as possible. I will get you anything you need.”

“I’m scared.” what once was so hard to confess now slips from his lips almost everyday. Hannibal traces the scar he left on him so many years ago.

“I am, too.”

“You are?”

“Of course. But we will get through this.” he kisses his forehead, “I promise.” then there’s a kick, right under Hannibal’s hand, “Oh,” he laughs, “See, she’s telling us it’ll be fine.”

Will groans but smiles anyway, “I think she’s telling me she’ll be a pain in the ass.” another kick, “See?”

Hannibal laughs again, “How would you like to have her?”

“Hm?”

“Where do you want the labour to happen? Would you like to be in the water?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so." he considers it for a moment, maybe feeling the water would be nice, people say it is, maybe he can imagine he is on the stream? But no, he discards it right away, memories from the past might surge in the rush of feelings and that wouldn't be nice at all, "I don’t know, can it be here? Or is that disgusting?”

“Why would it be?”

“I don’t know, we sleep here, it'll get quite dirty.”

“Sheets and mattresses can be changed, Will.” he laughs lightly.

Will huffs, forcing a smile, “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Here it is then.” Hannibal kisses the side of his head, “I’ll be right here, mylimasis.”

“I know.” he snuggles back on the pillows, “I know…”

They fall asleep with Hannibal's arm curled around his stomach.

The week they supposed he was due came and went and nothing happened. Will didn’t know if he felt relieved to push back the pain a little longer or worried about it. Hannibal checked on him everyday, they looked at her everyday through the ultrasound, and everything seemed fine.

He feels more uncomfortable every passing hour and when it’s been two weeks later and she still seemed to be too cozy in there, he nearly asked Hannibal to just cut him open and take her out.

He never wanted more to take a weight out of him. He desperately needs his body to function properly again, to go back to how it was.

And then it started.

Almost three weeks later, he woke up in the middle of the night feeling like he needed to pee. It was almost a ritual by now, though the pressure felt a little off this time, but he thought nothing of it as he made his slow way out of bed and to the bathroom. He only turned the lights on when he heard a low, sudden wet sound on the ground when he stepped forward, and something ran down his leg. Thinking he didn’t bump into anything that could do that, he turns on the light, blinking through the temporary blindness that hits him.

And then he sees it. And feels it.

Oh.

Oh.

If he could run he would.

But he can’t. So he makes his way back to the bedroom as fast as he can, turning the main light on. Hannibal groans at the brightness but doesn’t seem to fully awake until Will kneels on his side of the bed and shakes him awake.

“Hannibal. Hannibal wake up, it’s happening.”

“What is, dear…” he mumbles, eyes still half closed.

“What do you think it is? The baby, my waters broke, Hannibal, come on.”

That seemed to slap Hannibal out of the dreamland pretty fast. He immediately jumped into a sitting position.

“When did that happen? Are you still feeling alright?”

“Yes, yes. It just did, I just went to the bathroom.”

“Okay. Just wait a minute, I will get the bed ready.”

He stands back up and Hannibal leaves the room. Now he is officially panicking. That can’t be good, he’s sure he should try to relax but he can’t. His hands feel clammy and cold with nervous sweat, he can’t stop pacing around until Hannibal comes back, a crazy amount of towels and sheets in his arms.

“Don’t you want to sit down a bit, while I get this done?”

“I can’t be still, let me help.” he grabs one of the sheets and helps Hannibal lay it over their own.

They cover the bed with more blankets and towels, until everything looks clean and comfortable, and then Hannibal sits on the edge.

“Now we wait.”

“Just that?”

“We’ve been through this several times, you know how it goes.”

“Well, yeah, in theory it’s easy.” he comes to stand between Hannibal’s legs, “I’m panicking again.”

“It’s normal, don’t worry.”

It’s when Hannibal rests his hands on his hips that he starts to feel it. It’s weird for the first couple of seconds but then it hits him completely and he doubles over, grabbing Hannibal’s shoulder.

“Oh, shit.”

“Breathe, dear.” Hannibal holds his wrist just as tight, “It’s only the first one, it’ll be gone soon.”

Will lets out a big breath, “I was right. It isn’t fun at all.” he sighs.

“I imagine it isn’t. Come sit with me.”

He does, for what feels like the longest time they just lay around, or sit up sometimes, in Will's case, and talk. Hannibal massages his shoulders and helps him breathe through every contraction though they are still way too far in between.

They’ll be here for a while.

“We never talked about her name.”

“Do you have one?”

“I’m not sure.”

“If you want to call her Mischa I’m okay with it, you know?”

“I know, dear, thank you. But I think I’d like her to be her own person, with no ghosts of the past looming over her.”

“Hm… then what?”

“Do you have anything in mind?”

“I don’t know… Maybe it’ll hit us in the head when we see her- shit!”

He curls over again, holding his stomach with one hand while the other clenches the sheets. Hannibal rubs his belly through it.

“And it seems she’s getting eager to see us too.”

“Ah, uh- well, she’s three weeks late, why rush now?” he plumps back down on the pillows with a sigh. Hannibal brushes a few curls away from his face.

It feels like an eternity, like they have been there for days even though it’s just been a few hours. The sun is out now though, and the contractions, though still distant apart, are becoming steadily more painful.

“Just check, please.” Will groans, after a particular strong one.

“You’re not even near ready yet, Will, please, calm down.”

“Just tell me, please, I just want to know.”

Hannibal gives him one pointed look but obliges in the end. He moves in between his legs to check.

“As I told you, we still have a long way to go.”

“Just say it.”

“You’re barely three centimeters-”

“Three?!”

“Will-”

“I think I’ll, uh, I’ll just kill myself.”

“Will. Don’t make jokes like that now, come on. Sit up for a second.”

Hannibal helps him recline against the headboard, “What if I really can’t do it?”

“You are already doing it, Will.”

“It hurts really bad and it’s still not even close to the worst part.”

“I know, dear.”

“Next time, if we have ano- ungh! Fuck! Shit…” he lets out a shaky breath, “Next time, you’ll be the one doing this.”

“For sure, I’ll gladly do it.”

“You won’t be saying it when the time comes.”

“Perhaps not, but I’ll gladly carry your child.”

Will smiles despite the sinking exhaustion. He has hours of this to go through yet. He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself and lets all his weight rest back on the blankets.

Hannibal checks again when he’s six centimeters dilated and by that time Will has sat, laid down, walked around, been on his knees and walked around again. Not just because of the increasing pain, but because nothing seemed to calm his nerves. Hannibal brought him ice, brought him crackers, brought him water.

He has everything and nothing seems to be enough.

Another hour passes and he is laying against Hannibal’s chest, legs spread between his own, with the man’s arms curled around his middle. Hannibal has taken his and Will’s clothes off a while ago, the skin on skin contact does make Will feel a little better. The doctor kisses his neck and shoulder, the sides of his face, brings his hands up to kiss them too, constantly rubbing soothing circles over his skin.

That seems to work best of all they have tried so far, and Hannibal gently holds his belly on his large palms when another contraction hits and Will squirms and moans in pain.

“I need this to be over…” he murmurs against Hannibal’s collarbone.

“I know, Will, I know. It will be over soon.”

But it is not, and by the time he reaches eight centimeters Will thinks he’s about to pass out. Hannibal has to leave to go fetch the rest of the supplies they need, including some warm water, and Will almost cries in his absence.

When Hannibal lays everything ready around the bed he moves back under Will, this time facing each other, as Will has moved around and is now on his hands and knees.

“Are you comfortable like this?”

“I’m not comfortable in any way.” he groans.

“You can crouch when the time comes.” Will nods, “Come here.” he brings Will front to rest on his shoulders and chest while he holds his belly to take some weight off of Will’s back. The empath moans a little with relief but it doesn’t last long as another wave of pain washes over him. Hannibal feels his muscles contract in his hands, and hot puffs of air on his throat as Will breathes through it.

“You’re doing a great job, mylimasis.” Will only hums in response. Hannibal reaches for the nightstand, grabbing a cup of water, “Drink some, let’s keep you hydrated.”

Will drinks slowly when the glass is offered to him. Hannibal puts it back on the nightstand and brushes some sweaty curls away from his face.

“We’re almost there, dear, I swear.”

“You’ve said that before- ugh!” he bites Hannibal’s shoulder hard when another contraction hits, “Shit… I want her out…”

“I know, Will, I know…” he kisses his forehead, caressing the sides of his face.

Will doesn’t know how long they stay like that but it feels like a lifetime until something changes. It starts as another normal contraction but the pain seems more acute, sharp. It lasts a little longer.

“Hannibal-” he gasps, “Fuck, fuck, I think I need to push. Oh, shit-”

“Shh, shh, Will, breathe. Let me check. Can you move?”

Will pants against his shoulder for a bit before nodding. Hannibal carefully moves his arms and torso and slides from under him. Will rests on his elbows, barely registering Hannibal moving behind him until he feels the doctor’s fingers on him.

“Yes, Will, you’re right. You’re ready.” he smiles, moving again to lift Will’s head from the pillow, “Let’s move you into a crouching position, next time you feel it, push.”

Will nods, letting Hannibal manhandle him into whatever position he thinks it’s best. He is exhausted, and they’ve studied this countless times, he knows it can still take a long time.

He ends up grabbing the edge of the headboard, crouching it’s a little difficult, having to balance all his weight on the mattress but Hannibal helps him. His belly feels extremely heavy, he can feel a steady pressure at the base of it and it’s making him squirm. Hannibal seems to read his mind because he comes behind him, kneeling between his own wide stance, and pulls him back slightly, holding his curved stomach again.

“Lay some weight on me until I need to reach for her, love. Save your strength.” he places a kiss right under his hairline.

Will rests his head back on Hannibal’s shoulder, hands still holding strongly to the head board. His legs are a little shaky and tired, he’s sweating profusely, he can feel another wave of pain coming and all he wants to do is close his eyes and just sleep.

“It’s coming…” he whispers through gritted teeth.

Hannibal holds him steady while he white knuckles the wood in his hands and cries out when the doctor tells him to push. He pants heavily when he falls back against Hannibal’s chest, head coming once again to his shoulder.

“They will be more consecutive now, breathe deeply, Will.” he tries, he really tries, but his lungs seem to only be able to let out shaky exhales, “Will, listen to me, listen-”

Hannibal is interrupted when another contraction comes, Will lets out a short scream, one hand coming to clench his own thigh.

“Breathe, Will, breathe with me…” he waits until the empath stops panting so hard, “Inhale… exhale… inhale…” Will tries as best as he can, Hannibal’s firm hold on him soothes his nerves a bit, it makes him feel safe.

They stay in that position for about an hour, Will has tears running down his cheeks, Hannibal keeps pushing his hair back and rubbing circles over his belly, the tension doesn’t let up, and his legs feel about to fail him any second now.

“I- I need to move, Hannibal. My legs are killing me, I can’t stay like this.”

He can feel Hannibal nod against the back of his neck, and barely has any strength to help himself up. Hannibal gently moves his legs back, making him kneel, and places his arms back on the bed. Will warns him when another one is coming and the older man places a kiss on his temple right before it completely hits.

Almost two hours later after the first time he felt like pushing, finally something else changed. He felt something move, actually move, inside him and the pain comes steadily but stronger and he gasps in agony once more.

“Fuck! Fuck, Hannibal, help- shit…”

“Tell me, Will. What do you need?” Hannibal rubs circles over his lower back, trying anything to make it feel a little bearable.

“There’s something- there’s something different. Shit, what if something’s wrong? We’ve been here for so long, I- ungh! Shit- I- I can’t. I need it to be over-”

“Shh, Will. It’s alright, you are alright, she is fine too. You can do it. You’re so close now. We’re so close.”

“Please…” he cries out once more, “Please just check, please.”

Hannibal can’t ignore his pleas even though he is pretty sure of what he is going to find. He rubs his belly with one hand, where it’s hanging heavily between Will and the mattress and the hand on his lower back slides down the curve of his ass until he finds his opening. He does it as gently as he can, clinically speaking, and sure enough, not far in, he can feel something hard and hotter touch the points of his fingers.

“She is right there, Will. I can feel her.” Will moans, “Right there, dear, just a little longer, I promise.”

Will takes a long steady breath and straightens a little, hands coming back to the headboard so gravity does its job a little better.

Hannibal places himself on his left side now. One hand on his belly and the other on one of his thighs, pushing them a little wider. He is quick to take it back to his back when Will doubles over in pain, breathing through his teeth. Another deep breath and-

“Fuck! Argh-”

Hannibal applies a little pressure on the top of his stomach, and a few seconds later he can actually see a small bump on Will’s lower belly.

“Not a good moment to be kicking anything, dear.” Hannibal whispers, rubbing over the skin.

Will actually lets out a laugh before crying out and doubling over a little again. Hannibal applies a bit of pressure again and Will’s hand flies to clench his forearm strongly.

“Sorry… I’m sorry… I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Will, you are in labour, please hold on to me however you want, rip it off if you need but keep pushing. She’ll be here so soon.”

Will laughs a bit again even as more tears and sweat drip down his face. He pushes as hard as he can through another high of pain, and then he feels it .

Her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, Hannibal-” he clenches the sheets so hard they actually rip a bit, “Shit, I can feel her!”

“Yes, yes, Will, I can see the head. She’s right here, just push.”

Will lets out a scream, holding on for dear life to Hannibal’s arm still over his middle, he’s sure his nails break the skin but he can’t bring himself to care anymore. His daughter’s head is fucking breaching him open and he cries a little more.

“Will, listen to me. Take one deep breath. Breathe once, come on, and then push. One last effort, mylimasis, and she’ll be here. It’ll be over, come on, one more.”

He does as he’s told, he looks up at the ceiling, panting hard, then closes his eyes and takes one long, deep inhale. And pushes.

He whines and yells out, crying as Hannibal’s arm disappears from under him to grab their daughter. He grunts over the highest pick of the pain and then he hears the relief in Hannibal’s voice.

“The head is out, Will. Come on.”

He cries out a little more, give just one more small push as Hannibal opens him a bit more with his fingers to slip the shoulders out and then the rest of her slides out with a rush of fluid.

The second he feels her out and the room is pierced with her loud cries, Will lets himself fall over on the bed. Still panting as if there’s not enough air in the world, he feels all his muscles relax.

“Will.”

“Hm…”

“Come on, dear, hold her while I cut the cord.”

Hannibal gently helps him turn around with one arm, the other cradling a small bundle of limbs and fluids. He places her in Will’s arms when he’s comfortably reclining against the pillows, she’s still crying loudly and Will lets out a few more tears as well.

“She is beautiful.” Hannibal says as he grabs his tools.

Will hums, not able to tear his eyes away from her face, eyes closed, nose scrunched, mouth wide open, covered in blood and thick fluid. Somehow the noise doesn’t really bother him.

He doesn’t notice anything that Hannibal does but soon the man is asking for her back and Will holds her a little tighter.

“I need to go care for her, Will. Get her clean, clean her airways.”

“They sound pretty clean.” he mumbles, Hannibal smiles.

“That they do.”

Will lets Hannibal take her; he lets himself rest and close his eyes. He is disgusting, covered in sweat, blood, and all kinds of fluids still. He desperately needs to shower but he knows that is not happening any time soon.

He must doze off for a while, and opens his eyes again when Hannibal enters the room. The baby is clean and dressed and the doctor places her back on his chest so she can feed.

“Let’s get the dad clean now.” he says with a smile.

Will hums but smiles back. Having her suck on his nipple feels a little weird but he thinks he can get used to it.

Hannibal’s hands are soft and gentle as he checks and treats and cleans everything that needs care, helps him deliver the placenta as well. Will’s not sure if that should happen while he’s holding the baby or not but he doesn’t want to let her go. Will lets him move his legs and hips freely, like he is a rag doll, until the doctor deems him clean, healthy and ready to go.

Though he is not going anywhere but the bathroom any day soon, and their bed feels more comfortable every passing second.

Then he moves up and gently washes the sweat off his face, arms and torso with a warm wet cloth. He works around the child in Will’s arms until she’s full and lets go of his nipple. She falls asleep right away.

With everything as clean as possible, Hannibal finally comes to lay next to him. Will shifts slowly until he finds the crook of Hannibal’s neck, resting there while the older man curls an arm around his shoulder, the other hand coming softly to touch her head.

“You did it.” he whispers.

“I’m not doing it again…”

Hannibal laughs, “I’m happy with one.”

Will nods and smiles.

“Am I a bad father if-”

“You’ve been a father for less than an hour, I’m sure you haven’t done anything bad.”

Will scoffs, “Very funny. But uh, she is beautiful but- uh, I do understand what people say. The thing about looking something between a monkey and an alien. She does look like a monkey and an alien. I always thought that about other people’s kids…”

Will mumbles that whole phrase, exhaustion clearly catching up quickly and Hannibal can’t help but laugh.

“Yes, newborns tend to look very interesting.” he strokes her small forehead, “But she is perfect, and don’t worry, in a few weeks she’ll start looking like a real human baby.”

Will huffs a laugh, “She’s so small…”

“She is very, very small.”

“How does something so small hurt so much?”

Hannibal laughs again, “Be glad she wasn’t a big baby. I think I was.”

“Of course you were.” Will smiles, he really can’t stop looking at her, he can feel Hannibal doing the same, “Oh god, we’re becoming those sappy parents that can’t stop spoiling her and she doesn’t even open her eyes yet.”

“Hormones are an amazing thing. And we will spoil her.”

“Not too much…”

“Maybe a little…”

“I think the dog will like her… maybe we can get her a puppy.”

“Maybe, yes.” Hannibal smiles, presses one kiss to the top of Will’s head, “What about a nap, dear?”

“Just a little longer…” he murmurs, eyes glued to her small face, softly stroking her skin.

“She won’t go anywhere.”

“I know.”

They stay in silence for a couple of minutes, letting the love and tiredness wash over them. It’s all gone now, the pain seemed to have never existed and Will thinks, on the back of his mind, that he understands why people have more than one even after going through all that. He makes a mental note to himself to remember the last infernal hours next time babies come to his mind.

“What about her name?” Hannibal finally asks, breaking the silence.

“Hm…” he brushes over where she should or will have an eyebrow, maybe she does look a little like Hannibal, “Maybe… Iris?”

“Rainbow?”

“I think it’s… pretty. Hum, let’s give her a life better than ours was, a better childhood. Let her have some… uh, colour. Not just red.” he huffed a laugh, “Is that stupid?”

“No, not at all. Iris is good. It is pretty.” he smiles, “She is pretty.”

“She is…”

Hannibal kisses him again, “Then let me lay her in her crib, so we don’t crush her between us.”

“Oh, that would be bad.”

“Terrible.”

Hannibal takes her to her own little bed and climbs back to theirs, settling with Will in his arms.

“Wake me in a few hours…” Will mumbles, already half asleep.

“Sure, dear…”

Hannibal stays awake for longer, basking in the warmth of his lover's embrace and the overwhelming love he feels for both of them.

Iris.

It is pretty.

Their pretty rainbow. Their pretty little human.

He can’t wait for her to open her eyes, to see them turn to their real color. Can’t wait to see what he knows will be another pair of those blues he loves so much.