Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"Papa! Papa!" Lil Petey cheers, pawing at Petey's apron. "Pancakes! Pancakes!" 

"You yelling isn't going to make them cook any faster!" Petey groans, lifting the edge of a pancake to check it. He shoves his kid away with a paw and scoots him back to the kitchen table. "Now go sit down and wait!"

"But Dog Man has to leave for work soon!" Lil Petey says, climbing into his chair, stacked with books to help him reach the table. "Then he won't get any pancakes!"

The argument is punctuated by a loud thud and startled bark from upstairs and both cats glance up and hear the hybrid dog continue to scramble.

"And he's already running late," Lil' Petey says solemnly, as if missing out on pancakes is a punishment on par with jail time.

Petey rolls his eyes.

"Well, if he hadn't slept through his alarm then he wouldn't be rushing. Just because I'm staying here temporarily!" The emphasis is important. "It doesn't mean I'm going to change my schedule and do things on his time!" Petey flips the pancakes and moves to finish the peanut butter and apple sandwich on the counter. He wraps it up and puts it in the paper lunch bag on the counter.

As Petey starts on the second pair of pancakes, the first two stacked on a plate, Dogman comes rushing down the stairs, his uniform in disarray. His fur could use a good brushing and Petey stamps down the urge to groom the golden tufts neatly the way he does for Lil' Petey. 

"Dogman!" Petey cheers, looking up from his crayons and paper. "Come sit! Papa just finished making some pancakes!"

The officer shakes his shaggy head and signs wildly. 'No time. Late.'

"Awwww."

Dogman glances with big mournful eyes at Petey standing at the stove, his nose sniffing the sweet air. 'Smells good," he signs at Petey, taking the time to compliment the cat despite his rush. Petey huffs and his ear flicks slightly. His cheeks feel warm from the stove.

"Yeah, yeah, you don't have time to be admiring my cooking skills." Petey shoves the lunch bag into Dogman's hands. "It's a peanut butter and apple sandwich and a container of leftover spaghetti from last night. Hurry up and get to the precinct. Or don't and get fired. I don't care."

The officer whines at that but then gets that annoying little smirk on his face and before Petey can dodge or whack him with the spatula he gets a big doggy lick to the cheek. 

"Ewwww! I told you to stop doing that!" The orange tabby complains, trying to push him away. He attempts to hit Dogman with the spatula anyway but the dog is already out of reach and has somehow swiped a pancake from the plate. 

'Thanks!' He signs with a grin, gives another lick to Lil' Petey, who giggles, and then is out the door. 

The silence that falls over the cozy little home is deafening to Petey as he stands at the stove, staring at the little bubbles popping in the pancake batter as they cook. The overwhelming domesticity of what just happened washes over him. His heart pounds yet feels light. His cheeks are warm and he places a paw where Dogman's saliva wets his fur. Then the dread and disbelief hits and he resists the urge to knock himself out with the frying pan.

How is this my life now? He thinks.

How did he fall into this trap and illusion of a cozy home? Why was he even still here when he should be back at his lab? His empty barren lab. That had been the plan initially but after Lil' Petey expressed concern about his deadbeat father coming back and having no security both the kitten and, shockingly, Dogman had insisted he stay at his place until that could be figured out. Temporarily of course. 

That had been a month ago. And he was still here. 

The couch had been converted into a bed for him, covered in orange fur and blankets. A few of the books Dogman had brought him from the library (Petey was banned from there permanently) sat on the bookshelf in the corner. A few sketches of invention ideas were here and there and Lil' Petey's drawings decorated the fridge with various doodles of him and Dogman and whatever else his creative son came up with. He doesn't remember being a very artistic child but despite being a clone of him it was clear Lil' Petey was different in a number of ways.

Which was probably good. Dogman was good for him. The co-parenting was a fine arrangement. But he wasn't supposed to be playing house with him! It was making him feel all sorts of weird things that didn't make any sense!

"Papa. The pancakes are burning."

Petey blinks. "Oh, rats," he grumbles as he flips the charred pancake and scowls. This can't go on.

"Hey, kid. We're going to the lab today," he declares, scrapping the pancakes into the trash.

“Why?” The kitten asks, tilting his head in a very Dogman-like way.

“So I can finally get it ready for moving back in, of course.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? I want to move back into my own place! I’m still paying rent and everything!”

“Why?”

“Because adults pay rent.” And because the landlord was smart enough to never meet Petey in person. Or else he absolutely would have taken care of the rent problem then and there. He had a freeze ray he had been dying to use. Shame.

“No, I mean why do you want to move back in?” Lil’ Petey almost sounds sad. “Don’t you like it here?”

Petey pauses and then flips the new pancakes over. The tip of his tail twitches irritably. He hates that he hesitates so much. It should be so easy to say he hates it. He should say he wants his personal space back and that annoying dog away from him.

Yet, he can’t help but think of the way Dogman’s brown puppy eyes made Petey's stomach twist funny even though he knew Dogman just wanted the bagel he hadn't finished. Or the way they stayed up to watch movies together long after Lil' Petey's bedtime. Or the way Dogman was so patient when teaching him how to sign with his hands. Or the nights when Dogman’s shockingly skilled hands would dance across the piano keys and Lil’ Petey would join in with his tiny paws.

It made Petey wish he still had his mom’s ukulele to be a part of it. But that too had been stolen.

Wait no! No, he didn’t want to be part of it anyway! Never mind all of that!

If he stays any longer he gets the sinking feeling he’ll be trapped when things inevitably go south. He’s seen it before and he won’t make that same mistake she did.

“I have no room to work on my inventions,” he says instead. “I need space and I don’t have that here. Just because I’m technically no longer the world's-most-evilest-cat doesn’t mean I’m going to stop inventing. That’s like asking a cat not to purr or you to stop drawing your comics.”

“Oh. Ok.” Petey is quiet for two seconds. “Why have I never heard you purr, Papa?”

Petey thunks down a plate of hot pancakes in front of his annoying yet adorable child. “Just eat your stupid breakfast and give me ten minutes of peace.”

“Ok, Papa!”

-

After breakfast the two orange tabbies make their way into the city, leaving 80-HD to take care of the house while they are gone.

“Do you think we’ll see Dogman in action today?” Lil’ Petey asks, his little paw in Petey’s larger one. “Fighting some bad guys?”

Petey scoffs as they cross the street. “Doubt it. I was the best bad guy this city ever had! Without me, I’m sure Dogman is just chasing his own tail at the precinct or catching a purse snatcher. Something boring.”

“I don’t know, Papa. Dogman was saying there was some weird activity going on the last few days.”

“Like what?”

“He didn’t say.”

Petey hums as they pass a coffee shop. He supposes that with him being declared a “do-gooder” (ugh) that some other kind of villain could have come to try and fill the void he left behind. Still, he doubts that they’ll be good enough for Dogman. After he was the only one who-

His thoughts screech to a halt as the coffee shop glass door slams open in front of them. It’s only with his cat reflexes that he manages to yank Lil’ Petey from being smacked in the forehead by it. 

“Hey!” The orange tabby hisses. “Watch it! You almost took out my kid!”

“Sorry! I’m so sorry!” A young woman with bright pink hair says frantically, never taking her eyes off Petey. “It’s just um… you’re Petey the Cat right?”

Petey blinks. “Well yeah?”

The woman gushes and leans in. “I knew it! The moment I laid eyes on you I knew it was you! I’m such a huge fan!”

“Oh,” Petey says, a little taken aback and pleased by that. “A fan of my past villainy? I’m flattered. But I don’t do that anymore.”

“Don’t worry! I’m a fan of everything you do! Everything!” She shrieks and this time Petey’s fur stands on end along his back and his tail goes stiff at the intensity she gives off. “Whatever you do I’ll absolutely support you! Your fur is so beautiful. I’ve never seen a cat with such beautiful looking fur.” She reaches out to his face. "May I touch it?”

He hisses and takes a step back from her reach, pulling Lil’ Petey close. The woman follows like a moth to a flame.

“Oh please don’t be scared! I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you!” She clasps her hands together and her eyes flicker strangely. “In fact, I think I love you!”

“Papa?” Lil’ Petey asks, clinging to his long legs. “What’s going on?”

“Alright, I don’t know who you are or why you’re acting like a creep but I need you to back up!” Petey shouts, picking up Lil’ Petey and making a wide circle around her.

“But-“

“I mean it! Stay far away from me! I will get a restraining order! I’m friends with a cop!”

That seems to do the job as the woman stands still on the sidewalk watching the cat rush off. Her eyes bore into the back of Petey’s skull until he turns the corner around a building.

“That was weird,” Lil’ Petey says, tucked under Petey’s chin. “Do you have fangirls like that normally, Papa?”

Petey frowns. “Who taught you that word?”

“A friend from school.”

“Of course,” Petey groans. "I need to meet that friend of yours parents because she’s teaching you some weird things. Anyway no, that was not normal. I’m not sure what that was.” Yet there is a nagging feeling in the back of Petey’s mind that it also felt weirdly… familiar? What was he forgetting?

“Sometimes there are just weird people in the world. That is why you should never go anywhere alone with strangers alright?”

“Ok, Papa.” The kitten’s tail swishes excitedly behind him (yet another Dogman mannerism) and he giggles. “You called Dogman your friend.”

Petey splutters, almost tripping over a crack in the sidewalk. “I didn’t- I only said it so she would leave us alone! We’re… co-parents and temporary roommates. At most!”

“I heard you say friend.”

“Ya know, I don’t remember being as annoying as you when I was a kid."

Lil’ Petey doesn’t get the chance to give what is probably a smart-ass retort when suddenly a man in glasses comes stumbling up to them.

“You’re Petey the Cat!” The man shouts, reaching for the tabby excitedly with grabby hands. “May I scratch your ears? Or squish your paws?”

“No, you may not!” Petey shouts, slinking away from him. “What is going on with you humans today?!”

“Please! You’re so amazing and smart and beautiful! I’ll do anything you ask!”

Before Petey can rake his claws over this guy's face, having had it with all of those completely inappropriate things for a stranger to ask a cat for, more voices come from down the street and getting closer.

“It’s Petey the Cat!”

“Petey!”

“He’s soooo handsome!”

“I want to kiss his paws!”

“Can we do anything for you, Petey? Would you like to rob a bank? We’ll help!”

At least a dozen or more humans are running down the sidewalk towards them all shouting various insane things and some that are more uh… risqué that he demands Lil’ Petey cover his ears. It reminds him of the zombie movie he and Dogman watched the other night as the horde ran at the heroes. Dogman had barked the entire way through and Petey thought it was boring but-

Then it clicks. Oh. Oh! Oh god! Not that! Why?!

He dodges another swipe from the besotted man (notes the flicker of pink in his eyes) and then books it down the street with Lil’ Petey in tow, hoping he can make it to the lab and hide.

“What is going on, Papa?” Lil’ Petey asks, looking over his dad’s shoulder at the humans chasing after them. 

“My stupid old man is what is going on!” Petey gasps, regretting not having done any cardio recently. “He’s either using my inventions without any understanding of them or has sold them off to morons for a quick buck!”

If he had known this would happen he'd have destroyed the Love Ray months ago.

Rats.

Chapter Text

The idea behind the Love Ray went like this:

Love makes you stupid. Makes you blind. Love makes you miss all the red flags waving in your face. If someone loved you then you could get away with anything. So it only made sense that if the entire city loved him then he could also get away with anything. He could rule this city and then the world!

That was months before Dogman had become... well Dogman. Unfortunately, testing proved to be disastrous. Not that it didn't work! He is a supa smart inventor after all. The results however were not what he expected. He had tested it on one unfortunate soul walking by the lab one day, zapping him with the pinkish ray from the second-story window. Luring him into the lab for observation had been easy. One look at Petey had the man tripping over his feet to follow the orange tabby, eyes tinged a sickly pink hue around the iris. 

The man did his every command. Fetched him every tool he wanted and even handed over his wallet, his car keys, and the shirt on his back. All with a sappy love-struck look on his freckled face. At first, it seemed like the ray was a success. 

Well until the guy started to get handsy and tried touching his tail and petting at his ears. And followed him everywhere. And refused to leave because he "loved" Petey and couldn't bear to be apart. Then he proposed. Ugh.

With that, he quickly hit the reverse button on the Love Ray, kicked the confused stranger out of his lab, and then shelved the Ray Gun. He valued his personal space slightly more than world domination. The alarm bells were too obvious to ignore. 

Well, at least now he can confirm that he was absolutely right. Had he actually gone through with that scheme it would have likely ended in... well the situation he was in now. 

"Papa, they're gaining on us," Petey says.

"Yeah, thanks! I'm well aware!" He yells, lungs burning and a stitch throbbing in his side. He glances back. "Why are there more?! Who is using my invention on so many people?!"

His paws carry him down an alley that he's certain is a shortcut to the lab but in his haste, he realizes he's run down the wrong one as a large brick wall blocks his way up in front of him.

"Oh, c'mon!" He turns but finds that the horde of lovesick humans is already blocking him in. There are at least 20 of them cramming themselves into this alleyway, their eyes all flickering that pinkish color around their irises and never letting Petey out of their sight.

"We caught you, Petey!" One woman exclaims like they've been playing tag. "Playing hard to get is so attractive. Let's get married!"

A large man chimes in. "You look tired. Can I carry you?"

"Please, let me just squish at least one paw!" A voice shouts from the back. 

"H-Hey now," Petey says, stepping back. "Let's be reasonable, ok?"

The crowd creeps in closer, confident they've cornered the object of their affection. Petey's fur stands on end and he backs up further, adjusting Lil' Petey in his arms and trying to think of a plan. He can't reverse this easily without the ray and who knows where that thing is. Or whoever has it. He has a feeling it isn't his old man though.  

"Oh!" Another woman exclaims excitedly her gaze drifting down. "A mini-Petey!"

Petey stiffens and tries to hide the kitten from view. It's too late though. The rest of the crowd takes note and chimes in.

"Another Petey! Oh, he's so cute! And travel-sized so we can carry him easier!" 

"Look at his cute little face! I want to pinch his little kitten face and pet his belly! I love him!"

"We get two Petey's?! This is the greatest day of my life! Let me squeeze your tiny paws too!"

This time Petey hisses at them and his ears go back, an icy feeling going down his spine. The Love Ray was always calibrated to his DNA so that it would only ever work for him. That is, it would only ever make people love him. However, since Lil' Petey is a clone of himself it applies to him too. 

"Papa, they're freaking me out," the kitten whispers, sounding worried for the first time. 

"Hang on, Papa won't let them touch you," he says, looking around as his back hits the dead end. Overhead, he can see a few stories up some windows and a fire escape stairs up to the roof. They're far above but Petey is a cat. 

Without hesitation, he gently grabs Lil' Petey by the scruff with his teeth. It's a gentle but firm hold, one his mom used to use on him when he was a kitten, and the tiny tabby goes lax as he dangles from Petey's mouth. 

With both hands free he eyes the bottom rung of the fire escape ladder and just as the crowd starts running at them he leaps straight up, claws scrambling up the bricks. He feels fingers brush the sensitive flat end of his tail but he gives a muffled triumphant sound as he catches the ladder rung. He sprints up the fire escape on all fours as fast as he can, ignoring the wails from below. 

"Papa, that was amazing!" Lil' Petey exclaims, swinging from his hold. "You jumped so high!"

Yeah, don't expect me to do it again, Petey thinks, his back giving a sharp twinge as he scrambles onto the roof. He can't keep this up. He's got to find some way to his lab. 

Thankfully, the roof access is easy to slip through and he finds himself in an apartment building. He slinks through the halls but thankfully the few people he does pass by don't do more than give him a passing glance. So it isn't the entire city brainwashed at least.

"Papa," Lil' Petey says from Petey's arms. "I think we're close to the police station. Let's ask Dogman for help!" 

"What is Dogman going to do?" Petey scoffs. "He can't punch or handcuff everyone. Besides, who knows if he's even there? No, if we get to my lab we can hide out so I can think of a plan to undo this!"

"But wouldn't it be better to have Dogman to help? You know he would."

Petey's squared tail flicks in annoyance as they make it to the lobby. "I'm an adult, kid. I'm perfectly capable of handling my problems on my own."

Lil' Petey frowns up at Petey and his own fluffy tail flicks back. Then he tilts his head and pats his little paws on Petey's cheek.

"You say that but then you make weird inventions like this, Papa. Were you lonely before I came along?"

Petey glares at the little kitten in his arms. "No! I didn't make the Love Ray because I was lonely! I was trying to rule the world! Now shut up so we don't get caught."

Thankfully, the boy is silent as Petey looks around the street for signs of prowling zombie groupies. It isn't immediately obvious who has been zapped unfortunately and the city moves and cars zip by like normal so he takes a deep breath and steps out. 

"Oh my god, Petey please marry me!"

Petey shrieks in frustration at his terrible luck and he's off running again. If he ever finds the jerk doing this he's going to kill them. Either before or after he throttles his dad. His sides are still burning, his spine has a sharp knot in it, and he has a sinking feeling that he's going to get caught. Him and Lil' Petey. Panic rushes through him as he imagines those fawning hands pinching and grabbing at his son. He imagines not being able to protect him and being overwhelmed. 

He just can't let that happen.

"Dogman!" He shouts at the top of his lungs. "Help!"

How embarrassing to be calling for help from his ex-nemesis. And who knows if Dogman can even hear him? Lil' Petey was right that they were only a few blocks from the police station and Dogman may have sharp hearing but-

"Yikes!" Petey pulls up short as a pink-eyed human round the corner with her arms outstretched. He tries to turn to avoid it but she latches onto his tail as he does. The mangled nerves fire up his spine and he falls over on the sidewalk, shielding Lil' Petey as best he can.

"Petey! I'm so excited to meet you finally!" She shouts, yanking his tail. "I- eek!"

A warning bark perks Petey's ears. A strong hand cuts down, giving a firm karate chop to the hand gripping his tail. The woman falls back as Dogman stands protectively in front of the two cats. Petey doesn't know if he's ever been so relieved to see this stupid dog. 

"Dogman!" Lil' Petey cheers. 

'Are you okay?' Dogman turns to sign to them, concern clear in his brown eyes. 

"I'm... fine," Petey says and Lil' Petey nods. "But we need to get out of here! These people are crazy!"

Dogman raises a brow and glances at the small crowd gathering around them. He tilts his head as they shout various exclamations of love and devotion for the cats but the unhinged ones are aimed at Petey. His confusion is clear as he frowns and glances at Petey who sheepishly looks away. He'll gladly explain but he'd rather not when he feels like he's about to get torn apart like a rockstar in a crowd of superfans any second now. 

As they get closer Dogman crouches over the two cats and growls in warning. It sends a shiver up Petey's spine and some of the humans too as they back away.

"Hey!" One of the humans shouts. "You can't hog both Petey's all to yourself, Dogman! That isn't fair!" 

"Yeah! At least give us one!" 

"No! I want both!"

"There is only of him and... lots of us! Let's get him!"

Petey almost forgets that the sweet and mischievous hybrid he lives with that licks his face daily is also built like a fighting machine. He's reminded of that now. As the humans lunge for Petey he watches as Dogman effortlessly grabs and throws around humans a good head taller than him. He handcuffs a few to each other and flips them easily. He’s clearly holding back his strength, cautious with civilians, and merely flings them away when they get close to the cats.

However, that means that they keep getting back up. Dogman seems to realize that too as he flips a man over and then turns to Petey.

“Whoa!” Petey finds himself suddenly lifted into Dogman’s strong arms like some kind of swooning damsel. Lil’ Petey paws cling to the fur of his stomach.

Well, this is familiar, Petey thinks. This time though he throws his arms around him as Dogman barrels through the crowd with the two cats in his arms.

“Go, Dogman! Go!” Lil’ Petey shouts.

"Where are we going?" Petey asks as Dogman dashes through the street. "Do you even have a plan?"

Dogman barks in response and nods towards the police station up ahead. Petey supposes that's as good a place as any to hide out. However, as he runs up a figure in a hood exits the front doors. Dogman gives a questioning woof as he stops but Petey zeroes in on the familiar ray gun with a heart in the stranger's hold.

"Hey! Who are you? What are you doing with my invention?!" Petey shouts, flailing in Dogman's grip. "Give that back!"

The stranger doesn't say anything and instead aims the Love Ray.

Petey yanks on Dogman's floppy ear in panic. "Whatever you do don't let him zap you!"

Dogman dodges as the pink rays fire from the gun. Petey feels like he's going to get motion sickness from how he's jostled ( Lil' Petey's kitten-sharp claws dig into him) until Dogman finally hides behind a police car on the street. The zaps go quiet and the trio peeks over the car. The mysterious figure is gone.

"Arooo?" Dogman says questioningly, tilting his head as he looks up at the police station.  

"Why were they at the police station?" Petey ponders, echoing what he thinks Dogman is asking. "I have a really bad feeling that maybe-."

"Dogman!" All three animals jolt as they look up at the second-story window where the Chief leans out with a big smile on his face. It's hard to see any pink but Petey already knows that look. "You brought Petey the Cat! Good job! Bring him up here so I can kiss-" For a brief moment his expression changes to a frown but just as quickly it's gone. "I mean put him in jail for the crime of being too handsome! Wait no I mean-!" 

Lil' Petey giggles as the man trips over his words and Petey rolls his eyes. 

"Ugh, well there goes the productivity of the police department," Petey sighs. Well, at least 15% since Dogman is probably the other 85%. "We don't have any other choice." He looks up at Dogman. "Can you get us to my lab? We need to lay low and we can't keep running from every brainwashed person in town. Even you can get tired."

Dogman nods and heads off with the city's most wanted cats in tow.

As he goes Petey rests his head against Dogman's shoulder to catch his breath. It's amazing, and a little scary, how safe he suddenly feels despite everything.

Chapter Text

Despite the lovesick humans prowling the city, they somehow make it to the lab. Dogman backs them in through the door, sets him down on his feet, and flips on the light switch.

Petey frowns at the state of his formerly grand lab. The collection of all of his genius inventions is all gone now. The room faintly echoes with the click of Dogman's shoes. The only things in the room are a folding table and chair, a toolbox he managed to buy with what was left of his savings, a few scattered blueprints he had been drafting a week ago, and a laptop.

Is this all he's managed to do in a month? He hasn’t even started building the new security system! What exactly has he been doing?

A hand touches his shoulder.

'Are you alright? Hurt?' Dogman signs, looking Petey up and down and sniffing at him.

Ah. Right. It's this annoying dog's fault. He's been so distracted by piano playing, cooking breakfast and making lunches, trips to the playground, and... playing house! Where before he could throw himself into feverish inspiration, like an artist, and work on machines and plans he simply didn't have the time now. His ear flicks in annoyance. He thought that he was the kind of cat that always needed to be working. Could only ever be happy if he had his hands in the depths of a machine or thinking of schemes at all times.  

But he can't say that he's been unhappy the last month. In fact-

"I'm alright," Petey says, swallowing the flare of annoyance (mostly at himself) and banishing any other thoughts on that. He shrugs off Dogman and flops over into the folding chair. He ignores the twinge of pain that goes up his back. His occasional flare-up since childhood had worsened with age and exertion and he had run way too much today. It had started off so normal. Now look at this.

Lil' Petey runs over and climbs up his leg to sit in his lap.

"What about you, kid?" Petey runs a paw over his son's soft kitten fur. "Are you hurt or anything?"

"Nope," the kitten says nuzzling into Petey's chest fur. "I'm okay thanks to you and Dogman." He turns to grin at the hybrid. "You were so cool throwing those people around! Like-" He flails his arms around in a way that did not resemble the kung-fu levels of action Petey saw. "-that! Like a superhero!"

Dogman adjusts his cap on his head and grins at Lil'Petey. 'Thanks,' he signs. His smile fades as he looks up at Petey. 'What is going on?' 

Petey frowns. "Why are you giving me that face? This isn't my fault.”

Dogman raises a brow and signs. 'I know your inventions. This has you all over it. Explain.' Dogman stares hard at Petey and then motions. 'Please.'

For a moment Petey thinks he detects something else in Dogman's expression along with the weariness of his hand gestures with that "please". Almost like he doesn't want to know. Petey can't exactly put together the meaning behind it.

"Ok," Petey sighs. "I have something to do with this, yes. The Love Ray is my invention- Don't you give me that look, stupid dog! Anyway, it's an invention that I shelved and was stolen by my garbage father." His tail twitches irritably. "I suspect he's started selling off my inventions for a quick buck and that hooded person at the police station bought the ray off him and has been using it. For whatever reason. He has to have realized that it only works to make people fall in love with me."

There is a beat of silence.

'Love Ray?' Dogman signs with a little smirk.

"Papa was lonely before us," Lil' Petey answers. 

"No! I was not!" Petey snaps at them both. "As you can see it has done the intended job of making people fall in love with me and has completely distracted them from... well everything else! I could have robbed a bank and no one would have batted an eye! In fact, they would have helped me if I asked them! Why fight when you can love right? It was a genius idea and one of my more creative ones thank you very much. It was hard to build too!" He can't help but get a little defensive. "I just miscalculated the intensity of the effect. As you can see it's rather..."

'Scary," Dogman finishes. 'Reminds me of that zombie movie we watched.'

Petey leans forward with a little smile. "Yeah, that's what I thought too! I bet you anything that hooded person is trying to create chaos and take advantage of it." 

"How do we undo it, Papa?" Lil' Petey asks, climbing up onto the folding table and looking down at the blueprints. "Can you invent something?"

"Of course I can. But it would take me a while and I don't have everything I need." He gestures around the empty lab. "It would be easier if we could get the Love Ray back. I built an undo into it. It should fix all of this."

'And catch the villain using it,' Dogman adds. 

"Well, yeah, and that," Petey rolls his eyes. "He's not even a good villain. Using my inventions to get anything done. More of a clueless punk, really.”

Without the lovesick horde chasing after him he can finally think of what to do next. He needs the Love Ray. So the logical thing would be to hunt down the person using it. But how? He doesn't even know who it is!

"Wait," Petey says, perking up and turning to the table. "My dad isn't exactly the smartest cat. I bet you if I just..." He flips open the laptop and looks through Ohkaylist. Dogman rests his chin on Petey's head from behind and Lil' Petey sits on the table, tail swaying. It doesn't take long to go through the classified ads in Ohkay City to find what he's looking for. A listing that has photos of all of his inventions with bullshit descriptions. At the top, it says:

Genius inventor selling random gadgets and doohickeys. Good quality. Serious offers only!

"Ugh, dad," Petey groans as he scrolls through countless comments. His dad pretends that he invented everything Petey worked so hard on and prattles on like the cheap conman he is. Petey put a little piece of himself into each creation, evil plans or not, and it kills him to see them treated like a used car. Almost all of them have been sold. 

Petey has to take a shaky breath to resist the urge to chuck the laptop at the wall.

"He sold it to this guy," he says, pointing at a conversation. "RocknRoll80085- oh that's mature. Anyway, I should be able to track down his IP address and figure out his address."

"Are we gonna go fight a bad guy?" Lil' Petey gasps in excitement, giving a little dance. "We can be superheroes like Dogman! Can we pick out superhero names?"

"First of all, no, we're not superheroes. Second of all, you're not even going with us! I'll call up 80-HD to come pick you up. It's too dangerous with all those lovesick zombies outside."

"They're after you too, Papa!" Petey stomps a little paw. "I wanna help! Please?"

Big sparkling green eyes stare up at him. Puppy eyes. Ugh. Yet another thing he's picked up from Dogman. At this rate his son is going to be barking at squirrels.

A finger taps on the table, a sign that Dogman wants to say something, and Petey turns to look.

'I think you both should stay here,' the hybrid signs. 'Not safe.'

Petey blinks in surprise and scowls. "What? Of course I'm going! It's my invention! I know how it works and how to undo it. It's only logical I go!"

 'What if you're seen? We could have dozens of people chasing you again.' Dogman huffs and gives a displeased growl. 'I don't like it.'

Petey’s scowl deepens yet his stomach twists and flutters strangely. This thing with Dogman is doing funny things to him. He should feel insulted that Dogman thinks he can’t handle this but the look on Dogman’s face is so sincere and… worried that he can’t help but feel his heart pound. Maybe he’s coming down with something.

Warmth blooms across his cheeks like this morning. “Well, you can’t tell me what to do Dogman. I’m going.” He turns back to the laptop signaling the end of the conversation.

“Does this mean I can go too?” Lil’ Petey asks hopefully.

“No," Petey replies shortly.

“Awww.”

As Petey works on tracking down the IP address and Lil’ Petey pouts in the corner, Dogman comes around the table. Petey stubbornly refuses to even glance at the hybrid. He's not arguing this and ever since this morning he feels like he’s been weirdly... hyper-aware of him. Like he’s walking a tightrope that he’s starting to lose his balance on. It

However, he does glance up when Dogman starts looking through the scattered blueprints on the table. Dogman tilts his head, brows furrowed.

“Arroo?” He questions, tapping the plans.

Petey perks up despite himself. ”Are you asking about my blueprints?"

Dogman nods.

"Well, it’s plans for the Mini Supa Speedy Greenhouse Garden... uh title pending." Petey glances at his sketch. "Since I can't make evil inventions anymore I figure I could make... well other stuff. This is supposed to be a little greenhouse about the size of a dishwasher for growing fresh vegetables at twice the speed. Lots of people can't afford fresh food you know. And they don't have the space for a full-size garden in apartments. Something my mom really missed. So this is supposed to help with that. And look, there are stackable shelves that you can remove depending on-“

Petey pauses as he realizes that his ever-growing excitement has him rambling. Oops. Too much. What if he’s boring Dogman? He looks up, green eyes meeting overwhelmingly soft brown and he blinks.

Dogman doesn’t look bored at all. In fact, there is a lazy smile on the dog's face. He's looking at Petey in such a way that warmth spreads through the tabby like melted butter. 

“W-what?" He says, bristling slightly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He doesn't get an answer. Instead, Dogman darts forward, one hand on the chair to keep it from tipping back, and gives a big wet doggy lick up the side of Petey's face. Then another on the other side as the cat hisses and shoves at the hybrid to get off. He manages to get in a final smaller lick on the tip of Petey's nose. The damn dog looks so pleased with himself as he pulls away even as Petey glares up at him, face fur a mess. He can hear his traitorous son giggling behind him.

He's about to scold Dogman but the hybrids' hands move first.

'You're incredible, Petey.' His hand movements are slow and careful, as if trying to convey the weight of emotion Dogman wants to put into those words without speaking. Petey can’t exactly figure out what emotion it is. The cat feels like his brain just shorted out as his entire face bursts into tingly warmth. He can’t name the feeling. The one rushing through his veins or the one Dogman is looking at him with. Because there is no way it's what that treacherous voice in his head whispers.

"O-of course I am! I'm a supa genius after all," Petey manages to say, trying to play it off as his usual proud tone despite the voice crack. He looks down. The lab is too warm. Why is it warm? He's definitely sick if he's acting like this just because Dogman said something nice. 

Before Petey can dwell on it for too long a sound catches his attention. So quiet he almost thinks he's imagined it. But Dogman has also snapped to attention, his head turning to the door. It's quiet, probably nothing, yet Petey decides to pick up Lil' Petey anyway and hold him on his hip. No reason. Just in case. 

Petey whispers. "I should call 80-HD n-."

A bang outside has Petey jumping, both cats' tails poofing in alarm. Footsteps and more banging come from all around. Dogman looks around and signs just one word:

'Danger.'

“Petey!” At least 100 voices yell out. "We love you! "