Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“...have you realised that you’re my husband now?”

“Mm... I have.”

Shane’s calloused fingertips linger softly around your hips, as he sways you to your song; the song that played at your wedding, and the song you’ve had on loop since from night to morning, unwilling to let go of the moment. His head is in the crook of your neck breathing out unspoken relaxation.

Tenderly whispering in response, “and you’re my husband...”, pecking you delicately on the sweet spot his lips lay on.

The rocking lulls you into a mental slumber, all of your fears and apprehensions dissipating into nothingness. The shadows of the dark room, under the dim candlelight that falters, follow you as you lean into each other with every small step that you take; occasionally dipping into each other, and spinning to wrap yourself in his arms from behind. He cradles you in large arms and a large heart. 

You’ve been dancing together since the wedding. For hours. And you could continue to dance together… forever.

You feel a small tear travel down your neck, “Shane?”

“I’m not…”

Laughing quietly, you struggle to pull him away from you to see if he’s crying…again; his grip gets tighter, pulling you into a standstill hug. 

“Mm...you’re just so warm” he whispers, breathing in, then out, slowly… nuzzling deeper into your touch. You feel him relax entirely, moulding into you.  It feels so right, like the pieces of a puzzle coming together, like the sun meeting the moon in an eclipse.

It’s these moments of weakness that make your heart melt. Never would you have imagined him to be so comfortable… to indulge in his mind's longings. You crave for gentle touch too, gentle words…

“...is this okay?” his voice muffled… unsure, hesitant.

“Shane, we’re married…” your smile comes naturally, turning to him.

“I just…I guess I just wanted to hear you say it.” he squeezes your sides and looks up to see your face, his smile putting a calming weight on your heart worth that of a thousand stars.

One of his hands slowly travels up your back and finds itself in your hair, moving his fingers rhythmically through each strand to the music as you find momentum together, as one. He kisses you once on the neck, watches your reaction with slight apprehension, then twice on each cheek. 

Your foreheads meet and his unusually sober breath tempts your lips.

“No alcohol…at all?”

“Why would I need that, when I have you? You make me drunk…on happiness.” 

His hand smoothly travels down to your jaw, tracing the outlines of your face. You laugh as he puts his cheek on yours, the pressure comfortably hot like sunlight, the drowsiness that comes with it like the comfort of the shine of the moon in darkness.

Moving away, not entirely, his thumb caresses your lip as he gives you a look of warmth, “can I?” 

“Shane…” you can’t help but keep laughing. You’re so happy, it’s ridiculous.

Lips meet in an indescribable manner of soft passion. You wrap your arms around his waist as his hand sensually yet politely roams over your body, returning once again to your head.

The kiss lasts for eternity. 

When you break apart, it still feels like a part of you is with him. You taste him on your lips, a soft buzz in your stomach. You’re in his arms, as is he in yours. 

There’s a light filtering through the gap of the curtain behind him. You break apart just for a moment. He reaches out for your hand, as though he can't live without your touch. He doesn’t want to lose you. 

As you open the blind, his hip touches yours and he wraps his arm around your waist. 

You’re blinded by the sunset, it stings. 

“You know, I thought it would be so romantic if we watched the sunset together… but I’ve just ended up blinding us.”

“Even if I couldn’t see you, I would still love you.”

“So sappy. I love it.”

“I love you.”

You put your head on his shoulder and he reciprocates, pulling you even closer, although now impossible, and your eyes adjust to the view of the sun setting over the farm, the trees moving in a slight breeze, the crops shrouded in a gorgeous orange-golden hue.

“See? Romantic.” 

Warmth.

He draws your hand into his and trails the ring on your finger with his thumb.

“This…I’m glad I stayed.”

He’s not watching the sunset. He’s watching you . Your hand is squeezed.

“You’re just so…perfect.”

“I blinded us."

In unison, you laugh. 

“ Perfect for me .”

“Well… you’re not too bad yourself”, your arms enveloping him, rubbing his back in time with the music.

“Good to know.”

“Are we ever gonna get tired of this song?”

“I won’t.”

“I wonder how long we’ve been dancing for.”

“I don’t know. You know, I love this… I’ve loved every moment I’ve had with you. I never want it to end.”

“You’ve made my year. And I’m sure you’ll make my years to come.”

“ You’ve made me, (R/N). ”

Dancing all night long has overexerted you, your eyes give in, “join me in bed?”

“Mm…that sounds…perfect. Can I join you in your dreams too?”

“Soooo sappy. Do you love me that much?”

His eyes meet yours, properly. Deeply.

“So much.”

Chapter Text

“Morning… handsome”

Conscious of all of your weight being on him, and the drool dripping from the corner of your mouth, you move, “Sorry, love”.

“ Come back …I don’t mind being crushed. Not by you, anyway.”

“I was crushing you?!”

A flirty, soft look in return.

“Mm…” you lose yourself, sinking back, wrapped around his body; now it's your turn to find comfort in the nape of his neck.

“Listen, I took a day off work…”

“Oh?”

“Maybe we could do something…?”

“Oh…?

“With Jas?”

“Ohh. Sounds…actually that sounds really good. Really sweet...” ambitiously, you kiss him twice on his slightly stubbly cheek.

“Probably time we get up, as much as I don’t want to.” 

“Nor do I. Just five more minutes…”

“You said that last time.”

“Five moreee….”

His gentle laugh tickles your ear.

Much more than five minutes pass, and you are woken by your chickens wreaking havoc as they do every morning.

“Fine… ugh. We should get up.” you groan, but you are stopped; he reaches out and caresses your cheek as you push yourself above him ready to go.

“I was thinking…we could take Jas to the zoo, in the city?”

───── ⋅♡⋅ ─────

Trailing the mud path into the zoo, in auburn sweeps leaves brush over your feet in a breeze, bringing to your attention that your shoelace is untied.

Now delayed behind them, you watch Shane and Jas begin to walk hand in hand, hers innocently swinging his, or rather, him pretending she has the force to do so; it’s so heartwarming that a swell of emotion takes over you, much like the leaves around you collecting into small, colourful clusters that wash over and cover the ground.

 You do your best to compose yourself.

“(R/N)? Is something wrong?”

“Huh? No, no. You guys just look too cute.”

“Are you jealous you aren't holding my hand?”

“...can I hold (R/N)’s hand, Shane?”

“Oh?”

“Well…you’re married to him…so that makes him ‘family’, right?”

Instantly, in a heartbeat, “Of course you can hold my hand, Jas”

Her tiny, fragile hand is yours. You’re scared to hold on too tight, or to let go, the sweat of your now nervous hands could slip her away. Are you going to become another father figure to her? Responsibility. Are you ready?

Despite your underlying stresses, you trail around the zoo looking, and feeling, like a happy family. Every now and then you notice that Shane is admiring you with an expression matching your own emotion.

While watching the giraffes, Shane lifts Jas on his shoulders.

 “Upsy daisy…now you can see more from their view”

She giggles and kicks her feet excitedly, “I’m so high up!”

“Hey, Jas, did you know giraffes have purple tongues? Like your hair.” you add, in an attempt to connect with your husband’s goddaughter. Your goddaughter?

“They do! Wow! Shane, can you put me down now? It’s scary…”

“‘Course, sweet-”

To a side you whisper, “were you about to call her sweetheart?”

“Uh…guess I got too carried away in the moment.”

“You’re just too cute…”

“No, you are, look at you trying to please her…”

“Can we go see the elephants?” Jas butts in, growing bored with the giraffes already.

───── ⋅♡⋅ ─────

The night grows cold, your breaths turned into mist, your eyes glossed over nicely by moonlight. 

Somehow you found yourself latched onto Shane’s arm and haven’t let go since. Jas, asleep on his shoulders. 

You sigh, full with content. 

“Did you…enjoy today?”

“So. Much.”

You squeeze him and he tightens his arm to squeeze back.

“I think Jas enjoyed it, too.”

“Did you?”

“You know…the idea of marriage scared me. A lot. I kept thinking. Thinking that I would eventually feel stuck. I would get bored or scared, that I would slip back into my old habits. But today ...no, I don't feel like that will happen any more. The only thing I have to fear now is losing you… our moments like these.” 

“Since when were you such a big romantic?”

“Since I fell in love with you.”

Chapter Text

The night gathers in the unlit parts of the bedroom, the moonlight guiding you to the bed to lay on its chest. But, before you can, there’s a kiss on your shoulder and arms stuck around you.

His touch is like massaging, relaxing electricity. You fall into him.

“Shane-”

“Thank you for today.”

“Do you think Jas had fun?”, turning to cup his face in your palms, like how you would admire the moon if the moon were holdable. You watch the blue light refining his features shift as does his expression into one of frailty, one of softness, “I hope so…”

“I think she did. She really likes you.”

“I think she likes you too. You really tried to win her over, didn’t you?”

“Well…I mean…isn’t she technically my goddaughter now too?”

“As in…wait…are we…do we…are you saying that Jas could be ours ?”

“Unless that’s not-”

“No, that’s…I like it. It’s…you’ll definitely give her what I can’t.”

“You’re a wonderful godfather, Shane. She loves you so much.”

“Really?”

“Did you see the way she got so excited when you told her we were going out today?” 

“Yes, but-”

“She loves spending time with you. In fact, many times she told Marnie and I that she wishes you did so more. She looks up to you. I’ll repeat myself. You’re a great godfather. Because you make her happy. You try. Some days you can’t, but what matters is you try. You didn’t leave her. You stayed.”

“That’s so-” your face becomes a canvas for the art of his lips. Every feature of yours is drawn into desire, him a paintbrush and you, the subject. He paints wet, sappy kisses per whispered compliment to you, “God, I love your face” kiss “your hair” kiss, “your neck”...

The moment is framed in the gallery of your mind. The painting of emotion is complete as he runs out of places he’s not too nervous to visit; he’s shown love to parts of you that you never thought you would yourself, or anyone else for that matter. Your face, your chest, your waist, your arms… He loves all of you. It makes you feel as though you should too.

“You…mean everything to me. My husband, wow-” a wave of embarrassment, “Gah. That-”

“No, no that-”

“Sorry was that-”

“It’s more than okay! I just wish I had the courage to reciprocate...”

“You’ve done more than enough. I guess I’m just repaying you for staying with me...”

“There’s nothing to ‘pay’ for, Shane. I love you.”

“Well…if you couldn’t tell…I love you too. Uh, well, I’m going to sleep.”

“You did this on our first date too” you laugh, “escape something adorably romantic that you did in the spur of the moment.”

“You mean, the game? I’m still haunted by that-”

“But look where that got us.”

“Yeah…you’re right…”

“Did you actually want to sleep?” 

“No, not really.”

“Me neither. Do you…want to watch TV?”

“Yeah. That sounds good.”

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s small but it feels so important. The first time after marriage that you are both sat on the couch, his arms behind your back, snuggled up under a blanket, watching some random film that neither of you are paying attention to. He teases your back gently.

“I’m hungry.”

“Me too.”

“Food delivery?”

“Pizza?”

“Pizza.”

Your eyes meet. Your first moment as husbands ordering food together. Your first moment as husbands eating food together. It feels special, despite having done this before. 

Because now, more than ever, you are family. 

Moreso, you are one.