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Chapter Text

Remus Lupin had been waiting for this moment his entire life. 

No, scratch that.

Remus Lupin had been working for this moment his entire life.

Through side jobs, roles as just an extra, commercials, heaps of indie projects, one-off roles in series and dramas. It took him over five years of jumping through hoops of the film industry, trying to make a name for himself. He even got himself a minor role in a series that unfortunately was always written to wrap up nicely after the first season and it never picked up. Remus remembered thinking each time that it might be his break like it was yesterday, just as he did the feeling of his stomach dropping when he heard they weren't renewed. Got so close to getting out, only to fall back down again. He tried local theatres, but that business was just as cutthroat as when he started, probably didn't help that his 'local' theatres were in London, the most competitive stage there is.

Remus wanted to give up many times, experienced breakdown after breakdown when he got through the audition and felt violated, less than human. The stress of never getting a callback once got bad enough that he momentarily did modelling instead, his photos were still up on some company's site modelling one of their clothing collections.

He could never stay away from acting for long. He loved it. It was one of his greatest joys in life. The only thing he enjoyed as much as reading: bringing the words to life. He has been trying to climb the ladder for the last seven years, eight if you count back when he was working off-stage just to be close to the art, he'd been pushing himself up the rungs and he still cannot see the top.

He went home from an audition for yet another indie film. He'd done plenty of those, so he felt more qualified when trying out for them, even if the casting directors and producers have varying levels of experience. Work was work though and art was art, and he liked to think this screenplay had promise based off the monologue he had to prepare. If he was what they were looking for visually, he might just get it, but it was always a gamble.

Remus flopped down onto his sofa and sank into its cushions. He auditioned for the main role this time, but told them he can prepare to read for any of the other characters should they feel like he fits them more. A small part of him really hoped he gets this part. Of course, he always did that, but this one felt more special, precious. The main character was a man who struggles with lycanthropy and it seemed to be an allegory for his struggles with identity. It was his lycanthropy, which he saw as a disease, which inhibited him from truly living life. Remus was not quite sure how the werewolf aspect was going to be carried out throughout the production, but he'd love to find out.

He couldn't give it too much thought, though, he had another audition for a commercial later in the week and he still had to go to the antique shop for his afternoon shift. They were gracious enough to be flexible with whether he comes in for his morning or afternoon shift. It was mostly secondhand books with a few pieces of furniture, old instruments and typewriters priced so high, they've been sitting on display for ages. His boss is... peculiar. Remus thought Mr. Filch hated him when he had first started working there. Frankly, even years later, there were days he still thought that was the case. That seemed to change a little when Remus started bringing treats for the cat of the antique shop- Mrs. Norris. She spent most of her days sleeping, the other moments split between observing the visitors (and Remus) and hissing at them if they got too close.

He didn't do much at work. He unpacked the newest donations and deals (Mr. Filch spent hours holed up in his office looking for the best ones). He was aware he got the job mostly due to his height, he could restock the shelves and help people take things down without having to look for the only set of steps in the entire shop. The other reason he had this job was because he could be a people person, Filch, admittedly, couldn't be and it dragged the sales down. Remus liked his job, all things considered. Sure, it was no enterprise, didn't bring back a fortune, but there were small victories. Like the day Filch agreed to let him start playing vinyls off the gramophone at low volume (he glared at him profusely before Remus simply pointed to a sleeping for of Mrs. Norris right next to the record player). When there were no customers, he sat at the main desk reading books or new scripts. Life was peaceful. He enjoyed that too, even though there was never anything that got his heart racing quite like acting.

It was two days later when he was about to clock out and switch with his coworker, Frank, that the phone rang. He rushed through the greeting with Frank, throwing a quick apology his way for that as he picked up.

"Hello, Filch & Co. Antiques, what can I help you with?" He said calmly into the phone, trying not to get his hopes up, the phone was given as his back-up on applications in case he wasn't home. "Hi, is there a Mr. Lupin present?" The voice asked and Remus' heart skip a beat.

"Currently speaking." He couldn't help the smile on his face. "Oh good, we loved your audition and we would love you to come in and do a chemistry test with our second lead." The voice on the other side seemed excited, he needed to be sure it was his last audition and not some role he tried for weeks before.

"This is for 'Moon controls the tides'?" He clarified. "It's a working title. Gosh, yeah, sorry, you probably get calls like this all the time." The voice on the other side laughed nervously.

"It's all good. Email me the details?" He prompted, clearly sensing the greenness of the person. He liked working with new crews, they always had such high hopes, not yet disillusioned by the cruel reality of the industry. "Will do. See you Sunday." The voice said and he managed to get out a 'see you' before they hung up. 

He stared at Frank, who just eyed him funnily. "Get a part?" he asked, used to this by now, Remus was usually either home to pick up the calls or at work, but in the magical time it took him to commute, Frank was courteous enough to get them for him. "Maybe." Remus breathed out and it finally hit him.

Sunday. It was Thursday. He had an audition tomorrow. Having barely two days to prepare was cutting it a bit too close for comfort, but he would do it.

Once he got home, he opened the email with the meeting details and the scene they would be reading. Remus immediately clicked on the file, eager to get more slivers of insight into the characters. The monologue he had to prepare was definitely a sort of a breaking point for his character, William, and he wanted to know what get him to that point.

Oh.

Oh.

Remus stared at the dialogue. Well, that was... interesting. He understood the narrative importance of the relationship, but he also couldn't hide the fact that it was going to read very gay to the audience, because...well, Remus was gay and he couldn't imagine playing it any other way.

Floris clearly represented the life his character longed for, he was the future he wanted. He was his foil and his best friend. He was everything Will wanted and it only made sense to Remus that he would be read as in love with them. The longing was there and the reason would be indistinguishable.

Remus felt the scene so clearly in his heart that the two days he had to prepare didn't matter. He was living and breathing his character's feelings. He people watched couples holding hands in public, their displays of affection that didn't anticipate scorn or aggression. He yearned for that life, but as it were, it was not for him. He knew that was going to show through in the role.

He came to the reading early and was already made to sit down and offered tea while they waited for his scene partner. The director was bloody lovely, her name was Marlene McKinnon and she said this story was quite personal to her. Remus found her rather agreeable, although they didn't stray too much from small talk, nothing was set in stone with the production after all. He learned her brother was a rugby player, something she said she would probably also be if women's rugby payed as well. This information would probably excite any odd bloke on the street, but Remus was the odd bloke and strayed from all matters of sports, so this information fell on rather deaf ears.

The other thing that fell was Remus' stomach when his scene partner walked in through the door. He did a double take at the raven black hair still falling in those classic waves down his shoulders. Remus hadn't seen him since he was barely seventeen and on his first job, but there was no doubt about it.

He would be reading with Sirius Black.

"I'm only fashionably late, aren't I?" Sirius flashed a dashing smile at all of them. He greeted all of them with a handshake. He'd changed over the years, his past self would never have done that. His past self was also managed by his parents, the whole falling out was a large deal in the news outlets.

People were saying things at that point, introducing themselves, assuring Sirius he was fine and such probably. Remus' ears were just pure static for most of it, like he was far away until Sirius looked back at him and sound just cleared around him.

Remus was thankful for the table separating them as they shook hands, because it gave him something to ground him during the interaction. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he introduced himself on instinct, which was good. The handshake was normal, perfectly normal and they took their seats opposite one another.

"Do you have any questions before we start?" Marlene invited them to ask openly and they finally broke eye contact to look at her. "You're okay with the accent I used during the reading or should I switch?" Remus asked, he often just did RP instead of his Welsh because it usually landed more roles, making it more digestible for audiences.

"Yes. For now, just carry on." Marlene nodded and turned to Sirius, who piped up given the chance, "Do you have any vision for how these scene should go?" Sirius inquired and Marlene just smiled.

"We want to see your interpretation first, we'll correct if there's dissonance." She replied and a smile tugged at Remus' lips. Creative liberty, huh? Well, there were some cues on the page, but it was more barren than other scripts he'd read in the past. Actually, the script itself was pretty simple.

"Right, a word with my co-star? Settle on our interpretation." Sirius turned back to him with a pleasant smile, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Lead the way." Remus gestured with his script to the far off kitchenette. They stood up and reconvened near the counter tops.

"Hi." Remus whispered with a soft smile, which Sirius returned. "Hi." he breathed out, then made an effort to straighten up on the spot. He looked up at him gravely.

"So, we agree they're gay, right?" Sirius asked bluntly and Remus burst out laughing. Sirius looked a little hurt, so while trying to stifle his giggles, Remus placed a steadying hand on his forearm. "Sorry, did not expect that right out the gate." he chuckled, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning.

"Well, Will definitely loves Floris." Remus nodded, patting his arm before pulling his hand back. "And I can see why Floris would love Will." Sirius muttered, looking at him curiously.

"Pardon?" Remus tilted his head, brows furrowing slightly in confusion. Sirius shook his head. "Just trying to settle on character motivations. Floris is a bit elusive." he explained.

"They're reflections of each other." Remus supplied. "At least I think so." he hummed.

"Yeah, they're similar in a lot of ways, even though they seem different." Sirius nodded slowly. Remus spoke next, "Right, we're on the same page then?"

"We are." Sirius offered him a warm smile before it warped into something playful. "C'mon, Will." he jerked his head to the side and Remus shook his head, wholly endeared. "Right behind you, Floris."

They settled back into their seats and Remus took a last once-over at his script, making sure he remembered how this interaction went. "Ready when you are." Marlene announced, clapping happily. 

Remus took a steadying breath.

"I'm not going." Will started the scene, steadfast in his conviction. They have already been through this conversation, but Floris just wasn't giving up. He looked at him, shocked that he refused to come with him to that stupid party. "Don't be that way." Floris pleaded with him, head shaking in denial.

The party wasn't stupid. He really wanted to go. He wanted to go and drink, and dance with Floris, and forget that he wasn't allowed to have that on the daily, but no. The party was on a full moon, he couldn't have that. He wasn't allowed. Any night, but that night.

"I can't go." It hurt to say, despite the fact that he really couldn't. "Why?" Floris asked once again and just like the previous times, his answer was silence. He couldn't tell him. Not now, not ever. He didn't want to ruin this. Floris was the one good thing in his life. The one thing he managed not to ruin.

"Will." Floris stood his ground, bringing him back to the argument at hand. "Floris." Will shot back defiantly. For a little while they had a staring match that was so charged, he could almost see the sparks before his eyes.

"Come with me." Floris was almost begging at this point, it was clear he wanted to reach out. Will could feel it without him even making contact. Floris' hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look into his grey eyes. Will closed his eyes. "I can't." It was barely above a whisper, his resolve cracking.

"Please, Will, just...I need you there." Now Floris sounded desperate, desperate enough for Will to look at him again. Something in his eyes told him this was important. Whatever he was asking, it was more than just this party. It was bigger than that. It meant more. Will would never let him down. "Okay." he gave in, if they'd been closer, his forehead would've leaned against his.

The room was silent.

"Woah." There was another beat of silence as reality shifted. Remus blinked back to himself. Yeah, that pretty much summed it up. Woah. That's how it felt to act opposite Sirius. Just woah. From the looks of it, of Sirius blinking himself back, he could tell the feeling was mutual. "How was that for you two? Because it looked great."

"Mhm, good." "Yeah, great." was their joint response, which seemed to appease Marlene. "Brilliant." she grinned at them. "We sign next week, then you get access to your scripts. 'S that okay with you?" They nodded in agreement, unable to hold eye contact with each other.

Remus sipped his tea mindlessly, it just gave him something to do as he stared at this one point in space for no reason at all. He got up to put the teacup into the dishwasher and saw Sirius' head snap up, following the motion. They locked eyes again, his expression unreadable. He jerked his head towards the kitchen and Remus nodded, before going over and following through on his plan. Once he straightened, having closed the dishwasher, Sirius was already there.

"That was..." He was clearly at a loss for words, luckily Remus was there to assist, "Easy?"

Sirius flashed him a grateful smile. "Yeah, easy." he beamed at him. "The way you just," Remus started, but couldn't find the words himself, he just ended up vaguely gesturing, "it's mental." He shook his head with a smile.

"Me? You're bloody mental." Sirius' eyes widened as he gestured to the whole of him. "The dialogue they gave you is so short, but you do so much with it. How have I not seen you in anything?" He looked genuinely flabbergasted.

"Bit harder to get out there without a surname to back you up." The comment slipped from Remus' lips before he could stop it. He was absolutely mortified, but then Sirius burst out laughing. "Honestly? Fair. I am a nepo baby." he conceded, lips twisting into something between a smile and a grimace.

"A skilled one, at least." Remus tried to recover, because he had just insulted his co-star and possibly ruined their professional relationship. You never know what people are thinking, despite what they show. "Thanks." Sirius' eyes sparkled mirthfully. He seemed to be enjoying Remus' distress. 

"I look forward to working with you." He extended his hand once more, which Remus shook immediately. "Likewise." he couldn't stop the smile if he tried.

Remus was basically floating the whole way home. It had been ages since he was last this excited about a project. Genuinely, purely excited to work on a character, get inside their head and make a home in their mindset. The week felt like a blur to him, even the fact he didn't hear back from the commercial audition didn't sour his mood. He was almost counting the days to when he would see Sirius at the signing. He should have known better, really.

Yeah, Sirius was at the signing alright, so was his agent and lawyer. Meanwhile, Remus was also there, alone. He felt a pang of jealousy for that. Remus had to read the contract himself, understand the clauses and everything. He thanked himself for taking the Introduction to Law at university. It would be nice to be able to spend money on a lawyer for that kind of thing instead of having to pour over the legal jargon on his own.

If Sirius noticed his lack of entourage, he didn't mention it. "Remus!" Sirius called over excitedly. "This is who I was telling you about." Sirius dragged the older burly man over to Remus, who was still taller than him.

"Fleamont Potter." Fleamont chuckled, hand extending in greeting. The man's disposition was so much different from what Remus remembered of Sirius' previous agents, his parents. "Remus Lupin." He accepted the handshake firmly.

The dots connected inside Remus' brain and he blinked owlishly at the man.

"Potter, as in..." Remus tried not to act awestruck and probably failed miserably. "James Potter? Yes, I'm the very proud dad of the newest Spiderman." Fleamont sounded very pleased. It was a huge deal, signing with Marvel.

"Very proud of this one too." At that, he ruffled Sirius' hair affectionately. "Dad..." Sirius whined as he smoothed his hair back down. The whole interaction made him seem so much younger, even though Remus knew he was twenty six, one year older than himself. He tried not to focus too much on the family ties between the two, they confused him a little bit.

"Where's the rest of you, son?" Fleamont placed his hands on his hips, looking behind him. "Running late, are they?" He hummed knowingly and Remus winced inside, because no, he didn't know.

"It's just me actually." He adjusted the shoulder strap of his bag. He felt woefully out of place. Fleamont Potter looked displeased at that. "Nonsense, we're on the same side. You're with us." he clapped Remus on the shoulder. He had half a mind to say that this was an indie production and there wasn't much to negotiate in terms of compensation.

Despite that, they went in as the same side and Remus did feel satisfied with the result. Sure, it wouldn't pay his bills for the next few years, but it would make living easier. He thanked Fleamont for the help and he insisted not to mention it. However, before they parted ways, Remus needed to do something.

"Sirius." He addressed him and immediately had the man's attention on him. He jerked his head to the side and they separated from the rest of the group.

"Since we'll be working together, I thought it might be nice to have a way to stay in touch." Remus brought out his business card, he barely even had one, but it was useful for communications like this. Sirius held it in his hand like a treasured possession, before pulling out his own and handing it over as well.

"Would you like to grab some coffee?" He asked and Remus' breath hitched. He very much wanted that, but... His shift. Fuck. "Busy, maybe another time?" He offered, wincing slightly, he watched Sirius' excitement extinguish from his eyes and oh god, it had sounded like he was just blowing him off gently. He wanted to be on good terms with him if they were going to be working with each other, which they were, it was there in black and white.

"I have work." Remus added quickly. Oh, this one was going to hurt his pride a bit. "Got a shift today. I would really like that coffee sometime, though." he explained. Sirius watched him suspiciously, before his face fell once again and he averted his gaze.

"Actually, I don't know why I even said that, we can't get coffee." Sirius chuckled to himself and it sounded sad. "Not unless you want to be branded as one of my conquests before we even start filming." He explained, mood soured by reality. It was true, the tabloids loved shoving pictures of Sirius with people down the public's throat. In most of them, they weren't even doing anything besides being in each other's company, some hugs, some kisses on cheeks. Remus did his basic research.

"We can meet at mine." Remus offered and his eyes widened at his own proposition. "For coffee, tea. You know, I can make a mean hot chocolate." He covered up, smiling nervously.

A smile tugged at Sirius' lips.

"I'd like that," he replied earnestly. "Call you later?" Sirius lifted his business card and started making his way back to his entourage.

"Yeah." Remus smiled at him, wishing he had people waiting on him as well. Well, he did, but he doubted Filch and Mrs. Norris would've been as happy to see him as Fleamont Potter.

It was a wild, wild world.

Chapter Text

Remus paced his flat several times in the last half hour. He looked the room over multiple times, making sure it could be as tidy as possible with the sheer amount of stuff he owned.

He'd read the script maybe ten times already since he'd received it and his nervous energy from that was combining with the stress of having someone over for the first time in months. The only people who'd seen the place were Alice and Frank, and they'd only been here after to celebrate him moving in. His next guest was much different from the couple. Remus managed to get his indubitable attraction for the man under control. It was sort of easy, just brushing it under the rug, the rug wasn't big enough, it couldn't be. He still admired him and his skill. He told himself it was purely platonic and professional. He could deal with that. He'd been an actor for a third of his life, what was a bit more pretending? It was always fake it till you make it in the industry. Maybe if he pretended long enough, he would truly just see Sirius Black as nothing more than a friend.

The doorbell rang and all his thoughts halted. Remus took a steadying breath before going and opening the door. Sirius was there, the most casual Remus has seen him, he was all white button-up during the reading and signing, but now he was wearing a 'A Day At The Races' Queen t-shirt underneath a leather jacket and black jeans tucked into Doc Martens. Remus blinked at the outfit, swallowing harshly. He suddenly felt a bit conscious of his oversized grandpa sweater and tan chinos.

"Come in." He beckoned and Sirius did so, head turning as he took his apartament in. "Nice place, feels cosy." He whistled lowly as he crouched down. He started taking off his boots. Remus was not about to argue, he did prefer not to dirty his rug if he had the choice.

"Thanks, is your place not like that?" Remus inquired as he gestured to the sofa and Sirius sat, very primly, on one of the cushions. "Still mooching off the parents and I'm actually banned from interior design there, Effie says I'd make the place look like a brothel." The comment startled a laugh out of Remus.

"Oh, not you too. It's not my fault I like statement pieces." Sirius moaned, throwing a hand over his face, but there was a smile on his face. "Right, drama queen, tea? Coffee?" Remus asked, completely endeared already.

The hand slid from Sirius' face and revealed eyes sparkling with mischief underneath. "Heard you made a mean hot chocolate?" he teased. Remus felt his face heat up at that. He always had to run his mouth, didn't he? 

"Cocoa, it is." Remus nodded and turned, hopefully hiding the blush that was definitely starting to bloom on his face. "Make yourself comfortable." he called back, just because it felt weird to see Sirius sitting on the couch like he might get scolded for bad posture.

When he returned back with two cups of hot cocoa, Sirius was standing with his back to him, staring at his bookshelf. The sound of their mugs being place on the coffee table made the man swirl around. 

"Have you really read all of these?" He pointed with his thumb behind him. Remus shook his head with a smile. "No, the dictionaries I only thumbed through." he joked and Sirius stared at him for a moment, before catching on and huffing out a laugh.

"Most of them, yes. Some of them are my parents'." Remus shrugged and lowered himself onto the couch and patted the space next to him. "Oh, do they live close by?" Sirius inquired, sitting back down with a little less stiffness in his bones than the previous time.

"Nah, Dad's in New York with his girlfriend, Mum's got a place in Abney Park, I visit sometimes." Remus explained, leaning over to pick their mugs up. He held out one of them for Sirius to take, all the while pointedly avoided looking at Sirius not to see his reaction.

The man pointedly curled his fingers around his on the handle and the other hand around the mug. Probably the right call because Remus almost dropped it on contact. His eyes snapped up to where Sirius was watching him with a soft gaze. "Father's got a crypt in Highgate, I never visit." He offered him a small smile, Remus found he returned it. His fingers uncurled from his and Remus relinquished his hold of the cup.

"But Fleamont sounded fine just a few days ago." he joked and Sirius stared at him with abject horror before he burst out laughing, subconsciously leaning into Remus while he tried not to spill his drink. "You're funny, you know that?" Sirius grinned at him and Remus hummed in acknowledgement as he sipped his hot chocolate.

Sirius hummed over his sip as well, lips quirking up once more. Remus was aware that hot chocolate wasn't something people usually drank on the daily, he himself was more of a tea guy, it was just easier. He couldn't deny the fact that the cocoa helped satiate his sweet tooth though.

"And the records?" Sirius tipped his chin forward to the half-stacked shelf. "All mine. Want to pick one out?" Remus offered and Sirius turned to him with stars in his eyes.

"And judge your music taste? Absolutely." He bounced up excitedly, not needing further prompting as he made his way over to the vinyls. Remus relaxed into the cushions of the sofa. Sirius looked so out of place in all his black leather in the middle of his dark hardwood, cluttered flat. Remus wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Wouldn't have pegged you for a rock guy." Sirius mused, thumbing through his collection. "What would you say I listen to?" Remus questioned. He was always curious what people thought of him based on appearances. Call it him still vetting his casting type.

Sirius turned around and looked him over thoroughly, studying gaze roaming all over his silhouette. "Folk and country." Sirius settled on, nodding to himself. "Simon and Garfunkel's a bit later. Dolly Parton's near the beginning." Remus threw out lightly.

Sirius turned his head, gaze narrowed on his suspiciously. "What? I get around." Remus shrugged, smug. He did like his collection and felt it was rather rounded out. The Who, Fleetwood Mac, T. Rex, Queen, Bowie, Led Zeppelin, Dio, AC/DC on one end. Bowie, ABBA, The Carpenters, Madonna and Elton John on the other. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.

Sirius was silent as he browsed his collection. The quiet wasn't awkward, but Remus was curious at the lack of comments. He was rather proud of how much of his music taste he actually managed to have at home (in no small part due to being the first one to get his hands on the deliveries at the antique shop). He wondered what could have stumped Sirius so much that Remus managed to drink his whole mug in the silence.

"Something the matter?" he questioned. He put his own mug down and picked up Sirius' to carry it over to him. He accepted the mug and their fingers brushed. Remus was prepared this time and didn't freak out. He just waited for Sirius to answer. "This is quite the spread." he trailed his fingers over the titles.

"Yeah, I have a lot of different moods." Remus shrugged, bending down to open the record player in preparation for whatever disc they would be putting on. "What are you in the mood for?" He turned to Sirius, whose gaze was still on the collection, his bottom lip worried between his teeth. Sirius let out a small breath.

"Hmm, I'm thinking Queen." Sirius gave him a sneaky side glance and pulled out an album. Remus' eyes widened at the title. "You sure that one? Not the sister one?" He questioned, but took the vinyl without any qualms.

He put the needle on and 'A Night at the Opera' was officially their soundtrack for the afternoon. It was one of his favourite Queen albums, Greatest Hits were of course up there, but the sister albums of the one on Sirius' shirt and the one playing were his personal treasured possessions.

As Death on Two Legs seeped out from the stereo, Sirius swayed to the music as he made his way back to the sofa. It seemed the third time was the charm, he looked quite at peace now, sprawled all over the cushions like a cat. Remus didn't mind the abnormally large feline that was Sirius Black on his sofa, he sat down same as he ever did as they continued their conversation with the muted accompaniment of Queen drifting through the space.

Remus didn't think he would learn more about Sirius' family, but he seemed excited to talk all about the Potters. They met by chance with Sirius and James hitting it off in a waiting room for an audition, even though that was something Sirius wasn't supposed to do. He always liked acting out though, small rebellions, bigger rebellions. Probably the biggest rebellion of his life was when on the day of his eighteenth birthday, he called their family lawyer, told him he wanted to end the deal with his mother as his agent, packed a bag and left for the Potters', never to be seen at his house again. Euphemia and Fleamont Potter took Sirius in as his own, he felt like he was their son long before he moved into his room at their home. He sung their praises to the moon and back, gushed over how they've been his family for over half a decade and he wouldn't know where he'd be without them. He clearly loved James, Monty and Effie as if they were his flesh and blood and Remus realised he liked this Sirius, happy Sirius. When he looked back to the last time they worked together, he could only now see just how miserable Sirius had been.

"I've been talking your ear off, haven't I?" Sirius averted his gaze sheepishly. "I don't mind." Remus smiled at him. He really didn't. He was used to this being the case, he was a listener, a good listener at that. He was very popular with the girls in school for that. It's crazy where basic human decency and polite interest could get you in life.

"Well, I mind. Tell me something about yourself." Sirius prompted and that was the thing, wasn't it? Equal exchange and all that. I tell you something personal, you tell me something. It was the part Remus usually dreaded. He felt inadequate, so he mustered for the one thing that would be interesting to Sirius. "This actually isn't the first time we've worked together." Remus confessed and his chest felt a little lighter for that.

Sirius stared at him, blinking owlishly with those large grey eyes and Remus was transported back to a moment that happened 8 years prior.

Remus was standing outside the theatre, taking a smoke break as usual. It was mostly just another day for him, the backstage abuzz with some new gossip, as it always was. Remus didn't mind the off-stage drama, but he couldn't pretend like dead fathers are something he liked talking about. Dead parents in general, actually, seeing as his mother passed years ago, and though he kept going as life demanded, the void she left behind never quite mended. The fact that the news was about their main star's father was just another issue for the production. They were halfway through the season and Remus was sure that while the understudy would be ecstatic to go on, they would prefer to do it under kinder circumstances to their lead.

He definitely didn't anticipate said lead bursting through the backdoor of the theatre. Sirius looked winded, like he just ran there, which, given the context clues, he probably did. He folded himself in half, hands on his knees as he panted from exertion. Remus just stood there quietly as he waited for him to catch his breath, quietly smoking his cigarette.

A jolt ran through Sirius and he straightened immediately, eyes blown wide as he stared right at Remus. His pupils were tiny and he could see the swirling patterns in his grey eyes. Remus found it hard to look away, but their eye contact broke when the staff door rattled and Sirius jumped. He quickly darted behind the closest dumpster just in time for the door to swing open.

The director of the play scanned the space and his eyes fell on Remus, boring into them. He'd only been in the proximity of the man a handful of times, he couldn't say he got the nicest impression of him as a person.

"Sirius come through here?" He questioned gruffly. Remus was not a failed actor for nothing. "No, sorry. Last I heard he was in the dressing room." He shrugged and took another drag as he watched the director to see if he needed anything else.

"Great, Walburga's going to kill me." The man sighed and closed the door as he returned inside. Remus blew out the smoke from his lungs in a slow, steady stream. A small thud sounded from behind the dumpster. Remus watched it suspiciously, he should probably check if their lead hadn't keeled over in the back alley.

Sirius was curled in on himself, head buried between his knees. His normally glossy black waves spilling over his frame in a frizzy disarray. He heaved out ragged breaths.

Remus placed the cig between his teeth as he crouched down next to him. "Want one?" He held out his packet of fags towards him. Sirius turned his head, resting his cheek on his knee as he looked at the offering. He looked rough, Remus would know, he was a stagehand, he had a lot of hours in watching Sirius. His eyes were tired as he slowly reached for a cigarette. He flipped it so Remus could light it, which he did. They were silent as Sirius took a drag. He started coughing and spluttering as he looked at the tube as if it just tried to kill him.

"First time?" Remus' lips twitched and he tried not to smile. Sirius scowled, eyebrows furrowed, still affronted by the inanimate object. "I thought people smoked to take the edge off." he grumbled.

"Oh, no, that's spliffs. Don't have one on me, bit frowned upon round here." Remus mused, taking another drag of his cig like it was second nature. Sirius snorted and his shoulders shook with laughter. "Thanks, by the way." Sirius muttered, placing the cigarette between his lips, only slightly coughing this time.

"Sure." Remus nodded curtly, unable to take his eyes of the man. He's never been this close to him. Sirius was just as pretty up close as he was on stage, despite the obvious exhaustion on his face. "Do you mind?" he lifted an eyebrow in question as he looked at him, clearly aware of his staring.

Remus lifted his palms up defensively as he just stood up with a small smile and wandered back to his previous spot. Once his fag ran out, he went back inside and was strangers with Sirius Black once more.

"It isn't?" Sirius questioned, eight years older and leagues more alive than he looked back then. Remus shook his head. "I was a stagehand when you played Hamlet." He explained simply, not quite willing to got into detail. It seemed like a sensitive time for Sirius to discuss for obvious reasons.

Sirius was visibly racking his brain for any of their interactions, his brows furrowing. "At Harold Pinter?" he clarified and Remus nodded. Sirius heaved out a sigh, letting his head fall back against the sofa's backrest. He closed his eyes for a few moments. When they opened, they were just as disgruntled as they were before they closed.

"Sorry. I don't remember, that's a bit of a cloudy period for me. Lots of things happened." Sirius admitted dejectedly. "Yeah, I know." Remus assured him softly and those grey eyes slid to watch him. They widened before rolling back into his skull as he covered his face with his hands.

"God, yes, of course, you'd know. You were there." Sirius let out a groan, his breath sounding like a tired wheeze. "Honestly, I thought you were handling it pretty well, all things considered." Remus tried to lighten the load. Sirius snorted.

"I was brat." he reminded him. Remus put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "We were kids." he reminded him in turn.

"How would you play a seventeen-year-old now?" Remus tried a different angle and Sirius' hands fell away from his face. The end of 'God Save The Queen' filtered out and they sat there. "You could give my shrink a run for his money." Sirius chuckled rubbing at his eyes.

"I'll send you an invoice in the mail." Remus squeezed his shoulder, feeling a little better when the chuckles transformed into a fit of giggles. "Put on Bowie next." Sirius requested and who was Remus to deny him?

"Which album?" he asked, because he had a few. Sirius beamed at him as he replied, "Surprise me."

Chapter Text

They had a schedule set, a week later they would have their first table read. That would mark the next six weeks of that, most of it was just refining the script, seeing what worked, what felt natural. All table readings in the mornings, afternoons free, Remus had his schedule figured out.

Acting opposite Sirius felt like soaring, like you were in a completely different universe, somewhere above the clouds, but then sometimes one of them forgot their lines and just like that, they fell face first through the clouds, laughing at the stumble. Every time they had to glance down and remind themselves that they were there, not perfect and needing to remember the lines. It was distracting sometimes how much the scenes called for them to touch, not in the scene directions, but it just felt right and it usually took Remus a moment of adjustment to remember what he envisioned for when they would actually be properly opposite each other.

After the first fortnight they were allowed to sit on the same side of the table (at Remus' request) and he found out Sirius was as on board with the touching as he was. It just suited these two, to be so tactile with each other. So many things went unsaid between them, it felt like they communicated in different ways.

Remus cherished his free days dearly and yet, it seemed like Sirius was a part of them more often than not. A lot of times they just talked on the phone for an absurd amount of time, life stuff, discussing media, talking about their characters and their dynamic. It started out more professional, then equal parts work and leisure, about three weeks in which they were talking almost exclusively about non-work related topics. Remus listened to Sirius moan about how jealous he was of Remus' vinyl collection, saying he doesn't stay in one place long enough to have many delicate physical possessions. Sometimes that even happened in person.

"You want to what?" Remus' eyebrows shot up into his hair. "I want to star in a musical." Sirius repeated simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What musical?" Remus' eyebrows furrowed, trying to comprehend the man in front of him. "Any musical, the role just needs to be cool! Like, I could be John Travolta in Grease, but a revival!" Sirius jumped up onto the couch and stood on it.

"Do you even know the name of his character?" Remus questioned, jabbing him in the shin and Sirius crouched down, flopping over into a more respectable position, if you could ever catch Sirius Black in one.

"Doesn't matter, just needs to be cool." he sighed happily. Remus eyes him warily. "You do know that movie's extremely sappy, right?"

Sirius huffed and swatted the air in his direction. "Oh, shut it, you. He's popular with the girls." Remus tilted his head at that. "Aren't you plenty popular with girls already?" he asked.

Sirius looked him up and down, judging something. "Actually no, I barely go out. Dad never lets me party alone. Says I'd just get pissed and end up in the tabloids." he puffed out his cheeks dramatically. "Would you?" Remus raised an eyebrow at him.

"I mean, probably." Sirius shrugged cheekily, a sly smile gracing his features. Remus let out a small chuckle. "You know, we could go out. I don't do it often either, but I'll be your chaperone." Remus offered and Sirius' eyes absolutely twinkled.

Oh, that was going to be a bad idea.

The weeks felt like a bit of a dream honestly. Like he would wake up one day and realise he didn't get the role, like by some miracle Sirius' team didn't see the summary for the film and forwarded it to Sirius. Remus once asked him how he even came to be in the role. Sirius had looked at him funny in that moment and explained that the concept just spoke to him. He said that his agent, Pandora, a separate entity from the Potters, tried to get him auditioning for the lead; he did the monologue. When they sent him the lines for the scene, Sirius knew something didn't sit right with the character for him. Said the lines felt too dry, like he wasn't sure where to go with them, asked Marlene if he could read for Floris and she agreed. Sirius told him in confidence that Marlene sounded relieved at the news and that after seeing Remus play Will, he could see why. Remus flushed bright blood moon red at that.

With the script finalised, they had a few days of break to get everything in order for the filming. They were already over a month and a half into the production, but it felt like a blink of an eye.

The month after was planned for shooting the film. They were shooting it on location, so Remus had to call out of work with all his sick leave. He apologised to Frank, but he just told him Alice would come by and cover his shifts, seeing as their son, Neville, just started going to kindergarten and she had time.

The crew drove west for Wales and Remus was sort of excited. They had the whole stay booked at a hotel and Remus pulled into the driveway and parked his car. He got out and took a deep breath. The autumn air was refreshing, they were far enough that all he could smell were the trees nearby. The birds stopped chirping when a wolf whistle cut through the air. Remus looked around for the source, lips already stretching in a smile. There was only one person who whistled at him in greeting.

He saw Sirius lounging on a two person wooden swing, leisurely moving the thing. "You fit all of yourself into that tiny thing?" Sirius snickered and pulled his sunglasses down onto his nose, the sun wasn't even that harsh this time of year, but style always came first with him. Remus rolled his eyes and propped up his foot onto the swing, stopping its motion. His car was just big enough, thank you very much. "I can make myself quite compact." Sirius grinned at him and curled his legs up, making space for him. Remus sat down, Sirius straightened his legs again, this time over his lap and then they were swinging together.

"Are the rest in?" Remus asked, letting his feet graze the ground as he rocked them. "Nah, Pandora and I arrived maybe a half hour ago. You're the second." Sirius informed him, throwing his legs over Remus' lap and let him swing them. Pandora seemed nice enough, which was a positive, considering it was crucial that Sirius had someone managing him that was not also his dad.

Remus' hand rested on the shins in his lap, mindlessly tapping a rhythm against them. They've gotten used to being close physically over the past two weeks, it was very rare for them not to touch in some capacity. It was nice, Remus thought at least. It was sometimes easier than talking, but they did that too. Plenty of that.

"Bit wild that we're actually here." Sirius smiled at him and Remus returned it. "Yeah, it is. Never thought we'd film in Wales though. My money was on Scotland." he mused. Sirius looked close to bursting with laughter.

"Who got the money then?" Sirius grinned over the laughter forming in his chest. Remus eyed him warily. "What?" he questioned eventually.

"WooOOt?" Sirius parroted and threw his head back with laughter. Remus scowled at him while Sirius was having the time of his life. "No, no, sorry, it's cute. Carry on."

Remus hadn't been to Wales since childhood and the strong accents reminded him of happier days in his childhood. Even in these parts, he felt a little out of place, given that his accent waned down over the years he spent in London, but the few interactions he's had at the gas stations made it intensify subconsciously. Sirius definitely noticed.

"No. I'm not doing it." Remus crossed his arms. "Oh, come on, please?" Sirius batted his eyelashes at him as he leaned his head against the backrest of the swing.

"You're just gonna make fun of me!" Remus accused and Sirius held back a laugh. "No, I'm not." he lied through his teeth.

"You're awful, you know that?" Remus fussed, even though he didn't mean it, not when Sirius was biting back a smile like there wasn't another place in the world he'd rather be. "I know. Tell me a story?" He requested, putting his best puppy eyes to good use.

"Why would I tell you a story?" Remus pushed back. Sirius shrugged. "Because I love hearing your voice~"

"Oh, piss off." Remus scoffed and Sirius shuffled the legs in his lap. "I'm serious."

"I know." Remus interjected, which earned him a scowl. "As I was saying , I do like hearing you talk, it's why we're friends." Sirius explained and Remus lifted a brow at him.

"I thought we were friends because you like my personality." he teased. Sirius shook his head with an easy smile. "No, common misconception. Now, when was the last time you've been here?" Sirius prompted.

Remus decided to take the bait, because he was holding a lot back, letting Sirius talk about himself most of the time. You couldn't base a friendship on one-sided confidence and Remus really got along with Sirius well. He wanted to let people in, he never quite managed that before.

"Last time I was here was with my mum." Remus started and he felt Sirius shift next to him. They didn't talk about parents often, even more rarely about his mother. "It was the summer holidays, I think. I was off school and we went to the countryside to just get away for a while. Just the two of us. We went on these really long walks for no reason at all. It was all we did during the trip really. All that was around us were hills and farms, and still, we walked down the road, dirt road of course, don't get it twisted." He added, lips tugging into a smile.

"Barely anywhere was paved 'round there. We would usually walk as far as the sheep. There was an enclosure, you see. I was always amazed by them, just completely awestruck and they were sheep. Just alive and fluffy and they had these silly eyes, I was enamoured. Other times, we'd take a different route, just the other side of the road and there were cows. Mum would sing to them and they would approach. It was mesmerising actually. She told me she was a cow whisperer, but I think they just like music." Remus chuckled, his nose stinging slightly as he blinked back any emotion threatening to spill from his eyes.

"She seems nice." Sirius offered softly, which Remus was grateful for, because he didn't think he could handle anything more. "She was." He breathed out and looked at Sirius.

"I've never told anyone that... I haven't even thought about that memory since. It's never been relevant before." Remus replied and Sirius' gaze softened, which Remus thought impossible, because he was already looking at him like he hung the moon. "Well, I'm glad you did. It'd be a shame to forget something like that."

"Yeah." Remus' heart squeezed in his chest, because yeah, he really didn't want to forget Hope. He let his head fall back as he stared at the sky. It was a good day. Good enough for him to realise he didn't want to screw this up. The film. Him and Sirius. He liked Sirius. His company. They understood each other, they could talk or sit in silence, or listen to music or do whatever, they could just be.

Remus never had that before. He had friends, many friends. He'd always been an excellent friend. He was an excellent friend of convenience. If they were already in forced proximity like school or work, he'd been excellent. So likeable, model friend. He never quite kept in touch though and lost every connection he'd ever made. He was sure he could call up any of his old colleagues and they'd be amicable, but it just wasn't the same. He didn't even realise how lonely he'd been over the years while he buried himself deeper in isolation.

Sirius was gracious enough to get to know him before they properly started working together and it felt like they were more than just coworkers, Remus thought they were actually friends. He'd hoped that by the time they finished filming, that wouldn't change. He didn't know what would happen after, after the project was done, but he wanted to keep in touch. He needed to learn how to keep in touch and not just let a relationship fade into an acquaintanceship. He's never had someone be as open as Sirius and he wasn't about to let a friend like him go that easily.

"Have they told you how they're going to do Will's werewolf?" Sirius inquired lightly, breaking the peaceful silence that surrounded them as they swayed gently on the swing. "Nah, haven't gotten the chance to ask them." Remus shrugged, somewhere during his story, his hands fell back into his lap, or rather on Sirius' legs, which twitched now as he was struggling not to snicker audibly.

"You know? What is it?" Remus asked and Sirius' eyes absolutely lit up with mischief as he shook his head. "Oh, no, not telling. I wanna see your reaction to the reveal in real time." Sirius looked very pleased with his decision.

"Come on, what is it?" Remus squeezed his ankles, as if that would get the answer out of him. "Nu-uh, I'm an excellent secret-keeper." Sirius wiggled happily, lifting off the armrest and shifting closer to him on the swing. He was almost sitting sideways in his lap at this point. "You'll just have to see it when they get here." he beamed at him and Remus' heart fluttered at seeing him smile this close up.

Some friends were just special.

"When do you think we film the transformation scene?" Sirius hummed as he picked lint off of Remus' jumper. It was an intimate little thing, Remus didn't mind it one bit. "Well, I'm guessing whenever the next full moon is." Remus muttered as he followed the movement of Sirius' fingers against the fabric, preening without an end in sight, it was just one of those weaves.

"Just one night to shoot it?" His eyebrows furrowed and Remus shrugged. "Well, that or we wait another month, I doubt they'd want to adjust the moon in post for every shot. At least we won't be chasing daylight"

Sirius hummed in understanding. They spent the next good bit just enjoying each other's company and discussing the scenes.

The faint sound of an engine drifted closer, growing with volume until a delivery car pulled into the driveway. Behind it, two more cars filed into the parking spots.

Marlene and the rest of the crew hopped out from the vehicles and they could finally check into the rooms, Pandora having waited inside. Sirius and Remus got their own rooms while the rest of the crew shared to cut costs. Pandora didn't seem to mind that very much, citing that Sirius' comfort was her top priority and she's had worse.

They'd settled in for the night and they would start filming the next day, starting with the first scene. It didn't always happen like that, chronological, but the VFX artist said she'd have an easier time later down the line if they figured out how he looks in the beginning, which Remus had no qualms with. They'd done fittings and shade matching back in London so everyone knew what they were working with.

They ate dinner together in the area downstairs and they were going to settle in for the night. Well, Remus was supposed to do that. He wanted to do that: rest, but he couldn't sleep. It just didn't work, he wanted to look at the Moon, but his window was facing the wrong bloody side, so he just put his boots on, tying the laces haphazardly, threw a coat over top of his pyjamas and trotted outside. He sat on top of the trunk of his car as he looked at his most loyal friend. People went away, yet it was always there. A constant.

They were over a week away from a full moon if he had to guess. Remus never actually checked the phases, but he spent long enough staring at it most nights over his life that he could tell instinctively. He brought his knees up, onto the metal of the trunk, and braced his arms on top of them like a bridge, which set his jaw on top of. The Moon looked as familiar as ever. The craters always looked the same. Same spot, some days more vivid, other days, harder to make out. The size of the moon also changed, but no matter what time he was looking, from what place, the moon was always there. He appreciated that. It changed, it shifted, but it was always the moon.

Remus liked to think he was the same Remus as the one who first laid eyes on the moon. It had been years, decades, but he hoped he was still worthy of calling himself Remus. He was no longer as happy as he used to be back then. He'd traded rambunctiousness in for reservedness. He swapped goofiness for cynicism. He'd lost his spark along the way but he fought every day to find it within himself again. He hoped he was finding it. Hope was all he had. What irony. Hope was also the one thing he didn't have and he mourned her loss every day.

He felt the world was cruel for that. To tell him to have Hope while taking her away. They used to watch the moon together. She'd tell him all about the Man on the Moon and how man was also once on the moon. She was wacky like that, weaving fables with facts to the point you couldn't tell the two apart. Remus missed her everyday. Some days more than others.

The wolf whistle barely even registered in his ears. He was vaguely aware it happened, but he didn't connect the dots before Sirius' voice was close by. "Oh wow, I never realised how many stars there actually are. I bet you can't even see the Big Dipper and Ori-" his comment stuttered over the name while shuffling closer to him, "-on." he finished a little clumsily and checked for Remus' reaction.

He wiped his face on his sleeve quickly before facing him and Sirius' face dawned with realisation.

"Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. I thought you might like company-" Sirius made a move to start backing off, but Remus interrupted him, "I could use company."

Sirius stopped in his tracks, unsure on whether to approach or keep backing away. Remus beckoned him to join with a quick tip of his head. Sirius scooted close to him on the car trunk stealthily. Remus leaned in until their shoulders touched. He needed to be grounded and Sirius felt like the only thing capable of doing that for kilometres. They stayed like that for a few minutes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sirius whispered into the space and Remus glared at the moon, mad that he couldn't even find solace in his oldest friend. He could find it in Sirius though. "I couldn't sleep. Thought being out here might help." Remus swallowed roughly. "It didn't."

He blew out a long sigh and Sirius was there. Where the moon failed, he didn't. "Any way I can help?" He offered and Remus' heart swelled in his chest. "What was that you were talking about when you came up here? You seemed starstruck." Remus deflected, teasing a little and he thought he saw Sirius blush despite the poor lighting.

"There's so many stars here. I mean, millions, normally I can get pretty close to counting all the visible ones, but here? I couldn't even get a fraction." Sirius answered. "The constellations that are so clear to make out in the city almost blend in with the rest of the specs here. Makes you wonder how the astrologists did it back in the day." He paused afterwards and Remus wasn't about to let that go. "Astronomers." he corrected softly.

"Oh, good, so you were listening. Might have thought you were too entrenched in boring holes into the Moon, seriously, you're about to make another crater with a glare of that intensity." Sirius leaned harder against him to nudge him to the side. "Maybe it deserves another one." Remus huffed, half because he just wanted to be contrarian, the other half feeling like the moon had personally betrayed him.

"Sure, you're our resident werewolf, but it doesn't seem fair, your whole moony problem, it's shifting blame to inanimate objects." Sirius joked and Remus finally tore his gaze away from the sky to level Sirius with a funny look. "My what?" Remus questioned.

"Your what?" Sirius blinked back at him in confusion. Remus raised an eyebrow, "My problem? The word you used-"

"Moony?" Sirius repeated and Remus burst out laughing. Trust Sirius to make him laugh when he was feeling angsty. "That is not a word." His shoulders shook from the strength of his giggles.

"Shakespeare made up words, so can I." Sirius deflected as if it was the simplest explanation in the world. Remus felt another bout of laughter building up in his chest. "You did not just-"

"Oh, yes, I did." Sirius announced proudly. Remus was trying so hard not to laugh in his face. "Lunar exists, Sirius, lunar is a word." he informed him and watched the realisation dawn on Sirius' face. That did him in and he lost it once more. Sirius batted his hand at the comment. He scowled through a smile.

"Blegh, Latin. Such a silly language. Dead language, by the way. No use for it whatsoever." Sirius retorted, though he, too, was fighting off his own giggles. "My name's Latin." Remus pointed out, grinning.

"Yeah, I'd much prefer the English version." Sirius said confidently and Remus' eyebrows shot into his hairline. "You'd rather call me Twin?" he clarified.

Sirius looked at him, a deadpan expression on his face. "You're kidding, that is not the definition of your name." He shook his head in denial.

"Well, technically, there isn't an official translation, since it's really old, ancient actually, but it's the experts' best guess." Remus shrugged, a soft smile settling into his features, a permanent condition when Sirius was around. "Don't look at me like that." Sirius averted his gaze. If there was any more light, Remus might have seen that he was blushing.

"Like what?" Remus tilted his head, his expression confused, but no less soft. Sirius chanced a look back at him. "Like you're mooning over me." he accused.

"I am not." Remus defended, because was doing a very good job of stuffing his feelings into a little brain jar labelled Sirius and writing platonic on the lid with a semi-permanent marker. "Oh, really?" Sirius swivelled around to face him.

"Then explain this," He gestured to his face, "Mr. Moony." he challenged. Remus was on the defensive before any of the sentence registered in his mind. "Listen, I don't know what you're seeing in this dim lighting, but I think you might want to-What did you just call me?" Remus' brain stuttered to a halt as he just stared at Sirius.

"Nothing. I didn't call you anything" he said, like a liar. Remus would know Sirius gaslighting when he heard it. "No, no, I definitely heard it. Great hearing, you know, us werewolves, great big lunar creatures with extra sensitive hearing." Remus teased, Sirius turned his gaze away from him again, pouting into the empty space in front of him.

"Fine, yes. Yes, I might have said something and called you-Mhhmmmm, just forget it." Sirius whined. "I think it's fitting. I mean, you're our star, Sirius." Remus smirked at him.

"The brightest star, actually." Sirius informed him, brushing his hair back and flashing him a beaming smile. "Yeah, I can see that." Remus chuckled and Sirius looked halfway between pleased and offended.

"So what? You're okay with being Moony?" Sirius eyed him suspiciously. Remus turned to the sky as he considered. His eyes fell to the moon and all of the stars surrounding it. So many, too many to count, all trying their best to get his attention, but none of them held his gaze for long. None of them could ever measure up to Sirius. After the beat of silence that hung between them, he gave a small nod. "Only to the brightest star." he whispered.

They stayed there for a while longer, just staring at the moon and the stars together. Sirius informed him that there was no Canis Major this time of year, so they couldn't see him. To which Remus said the daft thing on purpose and said he was right there, which earned him a swat to the arm. Right about that time, Sirius started shivering and Remus ordained they go back inside.

"Come on, first of many long days tomorrow." He beckoned as they neared their rooms. It hit him in that moment just how much his mood changed from leaving his room to coming back. All because of Sirius. Remus paused at his door, "Thanks for today." He called before Sirius could go through his own. He turned and beamed at him with the strength of the brightest star.

"Anything for my Moony." Those were his last words before he disappeared into his room. The smile wouldn't leave Remus until he fell asleep that night.

Chapter Text

"Sirius, you have bonding with Will. Remus, you're going in with me for the scrape on your face and we meet back in wardrobe in an hour and a half." Arabella, their makeup artist, announced and Remus looked between her and Sirius in confusion.

"Will?" He shot Sirius a questioning glance, to which he just grinned. "Can I bring Remus with me to meet him before he goes?" Sirius asked and got a sigh and a nod to that.

Sirius dragged Remus outside who kept asking who Will was until went over to the moving van and positioned Remus right in front of the backdoor before slipping inside conspiratorially. Remus barely had any time to realise what was happening before the door burst open and Sirius stood there, arms outstretched with a dog, no, a wolf at his heel.

"Moony, meet Will!" He announced and Remus' jaw dropped. That seemed to satisfy Sirius, who was starting to laugh, maniacally. He was wiping tears from his eyes as he keeled over, while Remus just stood there dumbfounded, looking at the dog, who stared at him back.

"I'm acting with a dog?" Remus questioned to which Sirius wheezed, shaking his head. "No, I'm acting with a dog, aren't I, Billy-boy?" Sirius crouched down and pet the dog's head affectionately.

"How do you like your wolf form, hmm? I think he's very handsome." Sirius coped scratching under dog's chin to punctuate his point. "I don't even want to think about the credits." Remus sighed deeply, pushing the pads of his palms into his eyes. He just couldn't wait to see "William -Remus John Lupin, William (Werewolf) -  Scruffy" or something.

"Oh, cheer up. It's cool. Gruffudd's an actual wolf, you know?" Sirius told him, as if it was very normal that he was petting a gray wolf in a van. "His mom was sent into a rescue center while she was pregnant and he got born to this guy, John, who runs the place. Got raised by him and the other wolves staying there." Sirius explained, continuing to scratch the wolf behind his ears.

"Shit start, but he had John, so I think it was alright, huh?" Sirius was talking to no one in particular. He turned to Remus then. "He's basically like a dog now, can't hunt to save his life, poor guy. They try to avoid that, you know, send them back out. But he's basically just an overgrown pup, aren't you? " he cooed at the wolf and ruffled the fur all around his face.

When Sirius looked back at his friend, he wasn't completely sold on the idea. "C'mon, think about it. Will is so scared to let anyone see him as a werewolf. He doesn't know how he acts or how he looks, but he's just this- harmless." Sirius looked at him with pleading eyes and Remus felt a tug in his chest. "Yeah, I see it." Remus conceded as he watched how Sirius acted around Gruffudd .

He shook his head with a small laugh. This was ridiculous. "So while I get my face theoretically slashed, you're playing tug-of-war?" Remus teased. Sirius beamed at him. "Yeah, pretty much."

After that, Remus got down to the VFX station. They're starting with the scene after a previous full moon, from which Will wakes up with a bleeding wound on his face. That sets the events of the movie in motion. Floris is concerned the next time he sees him. Time passes, suggested by the wound healing, the two of them carry on, even if Floris is still suspicious. The visible scar on his face is hard to ignore. He's aware that everyone who looks at him sees it, he doesn't like people looking at him differently, especially Floris. That's what sets up the series of events that make up the plot.

They get him all battered up while Sirius bonds with Gruffudd (Sirius insists on calling him by his full name, citing it as the perfect name for a pup). He knows it's because the first scene is a solo for Remus, no Floris in sight, but he still feels like a part of him wants Sirius to be there. Though, he knows Sirius has a job to do as well. Forming a bond between them as much as possible before the full moon is important, they need to be natural for that scene. They need to trust that nothing happens and all safety measures are taken, Gruffudd might not realise it completely that he's still physically a wolf and can do a lot of damage, that's why him getting as close with Sirius is important. Especially since they only have 4 hours at most of shooting with him a day and they only get one full moon. Sirius told him he was usually supervised by John during his playtime, making sure everything was alright and even teaching Sirius some of the commands Gruffudd knew.

They filmed Remus' scene a lot. He was honestly exhausted. It wasn't even his acting, well, it was his acting in some of the takes, the other times it was the fake blood not dripping like they wanted it to and it was tiring. Mostly emotionally taxing, because Will had to feel a lot during that scene. Many conflicting emotions along with the pain and panic and the struggling to clean the cut on his own. It was a mess actually. Well, it was supposed to be a mess for Will, but Remus also felt like a mess by the time they were finished with the scene. By the end, Remus was glad Sirius wasn't there to see it, because he felt rough and raw. He would go back and do the rest of the day, but he needed a minute. .. okay, perhaps a quarter.

He closed his eyes as he waited in the makeup chair for them to take the prosthetics off his skin. A low whistle cut through the space and Remus tensed and relaxed at the same time, leaving him just as wound up as before.

"They really put you through the wringer, huh?" Sirius approached and Remus knew he was close just from the sound of his footsteps. He didn't want to open his eyes and he just hummed in response. A hand found its way into his hair and he leaned into the touch. God, he didn't want to think. They had just spent hours on probably the first five minutes of the movie. Remus wanted to take a nap. No, he couldn't. He wanted to, but they had to push on. "Sirius? What a surpri-Oh, Gary is going to kill you for ruining his hair." A familiar voice called and Remus felt a chuckle build up in his throat.

"I'd like to see him try, that guy's like a hundred." Sirius challenged, but his hand moved away. Remus straightened back up (he had sagged in his seat somewhere throughout trying to come back to the world of the living) and opened his eyes. Sirius was nowhere to be seen, but then he spoke up from behind him, "Tell him he needs to get over here anyway. Will's not going out in post-werewolf hair."

His fingers went back into his hair and Remus was very on board with that. Sirius' fingers were like magic against his scalp, he tried not to think about the fact that he probably had Gruffudd to thank for that. He stayed there while Arabella removed the remnants of fake split skin off his face. The red skin underneath was the perfect base for her to put the scar in the same place. Sirius' hands never stopped, fingers moving lower to massage at the knots in his neck. Gary eventually appeared back at the station, shooing Sirius away and taking his place.

"Thanks." Remus whispered as Sirius moved away. He spun around with a small smile. "You do that for me after we film Will ignoring Floris and we're even."

"Deal." Remus agreed, finally getting to look at Sirius since he got out of wardrobe for the day. His hair was curlier than usual, which made it shorter and framed his face better. Well, Remus wasn't one for saying when Sirius looked better, but the curls framed his face more, just giving him a different look. He tried not to pay too much attention to the sliver of skin that showed between the hem of his shirt and his trousers. They put him in dark wash jeans, a baby tee and a cardigan on top. Remus was dying just looking at him. He looked so cosy, Remus just wanted to go over and hug him until someone told him to stop.

He did not feel like that was the reaction he elicited with his light-wash jeans, t-shirt and flannel. Really, he knows he's the everyday man, but he- No, actually, Remus couldn't even complain. He could say it was basic, but it suited Will. That was the point, Will was so afraid of standing out and being judged that he tried to fit in in every way he could, which included clothes.

Acting opposite Sirius normally was relaxing, he could just get transported, but that time it felt different. Not only was Will tired from the transformation and dealing with the brand of his curse on his skin, Remus was tired from trying to get it right for hours on end. It brought out a special variety of frustrated and curt to his performance that he didn't even have to try that hard to evoke. Their first take was dubbed 'spot-on', but they still went through a couple more.

"Okay, that's a wrap on you two." Marlene announced after their last take of the scene. They were about to go into wardrobe when she stopped him. "Remus, one more take." she beckoned him towards her.

Over the tiredness setting in from the shooting, he was just confused. "Something wrong? We don't have another scene in the script from that day...?" Remus approached nonetheless.

"No, we don't, but I just got an idea for a shot and I want to try it out. Would you?" Marlene gestured back to the bathroom. Not again. Remus swallowed a groan, nodded instead and stepped into the space.

"We're just going to roll from here, the other shot's on your reflection in the mirror. You just do whatever you feel like." Marlene closed the door behind her and climbed into the bathtub next to the cameraman. Somewhere in his brain it registered when she said they were rolling.

Remus didn't have many opportunities to just improvise, but he knew why he was given the opportunity. He was in Will's headspace, he just needed to harness him a bit more and just let himself feel. The bathroom was Will alone, no walls, just feeling. It was like peering into his brian.

Remus braced himself on the sink. He stared at the drain to center himself before lifting his head to stare at himself in the mirror. He looked a mess, like proper, hair seemed floppier, his eyes were tired and it almost seemed like he'd developed eyebags since this morning. He probably didn't but it almost felt like this with the shadows underneath his eyes. His eyes caught onto the the red barely scabbed over slash across his nose and he hated it.

It was bad enough he had to deal with being a werewolf, but waking up with gashes on his face was new. He thought if he could just hide it and pretend like he didn't lose a night of his life once every month, then he could be normal. He could believe he was just like everyone else. Until now. Now he had a glaring reminder of how he didn't fit in. He shouldn't be like this. Why couldn't he just be normal?

He pushed himself off the sink and ran his hands over his face, ending by pushing the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. The pressure calmed him somewhat. His hands slid down and he chanced a look at himself. He couldn't stand it. He whirled around, exited the room and promptly slammed the door behind him. He stood there for a beat, two, then he heard a muffled 'cut' through the door.

That immediately brought him back out of it and into himself.

He placed his hand on the handle and gingerly opened the door. "How was that?" He asked with an uneasy smile. Marlene turned to him, lips stretching into a smile. "Perfect."

Sirius looked at him, concerned, when he got back to wardrobe late. He was already back to his normal clothes and was just starting to get out of the make-up.

"'M fine. Just doing extra credit." He joked slightly and Sirius seemed to relax at that. "Bet you were a teacher's pet in school." Sirius grinned at him and suddenly Remus felt a whole world lighter.

"Hmm, depends on who you ask." Remus shrugged off his jacket as he sat down in the chair, keeping still for Arabella to do her work. He was under strict orders not to take the prosthetics off by himself and he was alright to just let her do her thing. "Oh, I'm sensing a story, pray do tell." Sirius pressed two pads with makeup remover to his eyes and when he took them away, he had two black semi-circles imprinted underneath his eyes.

Remus felt a smile already forming on his lips. "May I?" He asked quietly, but Arabella shook her head. "Stay still for a minute, and wipe that grin off." She chastised, but she was smiling all the same.

He waited for her to finish with his face. By the time he could look again, Sirius was already completely back to himself, well, his barefaced self. It was a slight difference to his regular look that it just dawned on Remus that Sirius wore makeup out daily. Remus himself only did that when on set or going to specific auditions. It surprised him a little.

He looked ripe with energy though, despite the darker rings under his eyes. "Restaurant?" Sirius raised his eyebrows at him expectantly. "I still have to get changed." Remus reminded him and Sirius gave him a once-over.

"Fine, but you're starting the story through the screen." Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair next to the privacy screen.

Just as he was told, Remus told Sirius about his school days while he changed. It was a lot of interrupting the story because he had to get things off him through his head or had to bend down to switch his trousers, but he managed to make it coherent enough. Sirius did not want to believe him that he did not fit into a single box he tried to fit him in, or rather that he fit into all of them simultaneously.

"There is absolutely no way you were the quiet loner kid, the popular one, the troublemaker AND the teacher's pet." Sirius had his arms crossed when Remus walked out. "Yet, I was."

"No." Sirius inspected him, eyebrows furrowed. Remus barked out a laugh. "No?" he asked incredulously.

"There isn't enough time in the day. You couldn't have been all of them. They're mutually exclusive." Sirius doubled down and Remus patted him on the back as they headed back towards the hotel and the restaurant.

"Tough gig, I know, but I just couldn't help it." Remus shrugged and Sirius narrowed his eyes at him sceptically. "The quiet loner kid was because of-" "The books?" He cut in and a smile tugged onto Remus' lips.

"Yes, read a bunch during the breaks, during the lessons too, rightly pissed off half my teachers." Remus smirked at the memory. "Oh, so he was blatantly rebellious too?" Sirius hummed conspiratorially.

"He was. He was also a prime target for girls' crushes because he was the only one who didn't insult them." Remus explained and Sirius quirked a brow at him. "Are you bragging or complaining?" Sirius glanced at him, checking his expression.

"Bit of both, I suppose." Remus shrugged, shoving his hands into his pockets, it was starting to drive him crazy how they hands almost brushed as the swung between them whole talking. "I was smart enough not to make fun of them for it though. Made a lot of friends from that, became the go-to for boy advice as well." Remus chuckled fondly as he thought of all the girls who had confessed to having a crush on him, which ended with him comforting them and just like that, they were good. Kids were simple sometimes.

"Hmmm, Mr. Popular. Okay, I see it. Troublemaker next?" Sirius beamed at him. Remus shot him a sidelong glance, "What? You don't want to hear about me being a teacher's pet first?"

Sirius swatted his hand in the air, as if he could dispel the notion by physically waving it away. "Why would I want to wait for all the juicy details? Who did you beat up?" Sirius prompted and Remus laughed.

"How do you know I beat someone up?" He challenged and Sirius shrugged with a confident smile. "I just do." He boasted, before looking at him properly once more.

"Am I wrong?" Sirius inquired, hopeful that he wasn't. Remus heaved a sigh, "No, I guess you're not."

As soon as Remus admitted it, a small victory whisper of 'knew it' escaped Sirius, to whom he shot a warning look.

"Well, I didn't beat him up." Remus grimaced. "He was being annoying and bothering people, so I shoved him." he continued, starting by explaining his reasoning.

"I didn't expect to push him into a desk. He hit his head, had to go to the nurse while I got written up." Remus continued, still feeling guilty over that. He just wanted him to stop being an arse, he didn't want to cause him harm. Sirius gasped at the admission, "The cops were called?"

A smile tugged at Remus' lips. "The teacher, Sirius. The teacher wrote me up. Had to get the note signed by my father and everything." he clarified. Sirius looked at him, completely captivated as he asked his follow-up question, "What did he say? "

Remus it the inside of his cheek to stop himself from grinning. "He didn't. I forged his signature." he admitted and Sirius let out a very dramatic gasp.

"No." He sounded appalled, but his smile betrayed him. "Yes, to this day, he still has no idea that happened." Remus nodded solemnly despite the smirk on his lips.

Sirius tutted at him like he was a disappointed parent, but really, he looked proud. "My, my, Moony. You started on a dark path, really glad you made it onto the straight and narrow." Sirius patted him on the shoulder.

"You think I could have been a criminal?" Remus teased and Sirius just shrugged. "Seems like you're good at keeping things hidden, you might even be one right now." he insinuated, eyebrow raising at him suspiciously.

They finally approached the entrance to the restaurant of the hotel and stopped just outside it.

"Are you going to let this potential criminal accompany you to dinner?" Remus inquired teasingly. The glint that entered Sirius' eyes was absolutely wicked. "I like living on the edge."

They sat down with their meals, Sirius' gaze was glued to Remus, observing him pensively.

"Something on your mind?" he prompted and Sirius hummed. "Wondering what type of criminal you'd be."

Remus half-expected that to be the case.  Sirius' gaze was absolutely lethal. He wasn't used to being subjected to such intense scrutiny from him.

"Have you settled on anything?" he inquired. The corners of his lips twitched as Sirius tilted his head, contemplating.

"A thief." he mused. Remus' eyebrows rose. "A thief? What would I steal?"
"Hearts." Sirius grinned and Remus barked out a laugh, shaking his head in disapproval. "Really?" he quirked up an eyebrow at him sceptically.

"You did say the ladies threw themselves at you." Sirius pointed out cheekily. Remus scoffed, "I said no such thing."

"Hmmm. Art pieces then, antiques, museum exhibits." Sirius hummed, this time more serious. He continued unprompted, "You wouldn't even do it to sell them. You'd just keep them at home and look at them, because you could."

Remus listened to him and considered the possibility. "I'm not sure whether to be flattered or offended." he hummed. "I think it's more noble that way. Like a selfish Robin Hood." Sirius mused and Remus snorted.

He even made a point to put his cutlery down to gesture with his hands properly as he spoke, "One, I'm pretty sure selfish Robin Hood is just a thief and two, you have never lived in poverty, have you?" Sirius dropped his gaze, clearly ashamed at that.

"I think a thief like that is actually less noble. Keeping the valuables for pure vanity rather than selling them and helping the ones in need. Furthermore, people who steal, because they have to, shouldn't have been put in situations where they need to resort to stealing. I think that's the most noble of thieves. The ones that do it out of necessity. Robin Hood is only seen as noble, because the thief always risks their safety and therefore their family's welfare. By adding a middleman like Hood, the people in need are afforded safety while having the goods still given to them." Remus continued talking, pivoting from their previous topic and at some point Sirius realised he wasn't ranting at him, he was just ranting to him.

"In a perfect world, the people wouldn't be in need, they would all be able to survive. Robin Hood symbolises the redistribution of wealth, take from the rich, give to the poor. He's what the system needs to eliminate famine and homelessness. He's upheld as a hero in literature, but as soon as you detach the idea from him and talk about the redistribution of wealth, people get upset with you and call you a commie for vouching to eliminate income inequalities." Remus huffed and finally dropped his gaze to his lunch, at his abandoned cutlery. Then, he sheepishly lifted his eyes to meet Sirius' across the table.

"Been holding that in for a while, huh?" he smiled back sweetly. He didn't seem mad, but Remus still felt the need to apologise. "Sorry, didn't mean to go on a tangent." he winced.

"No, no, I enjoyed it." Sirius leaned back. Remus narrowed his eyes, still not fully convinced. "Did you? People aren't usually big fans of when I start ranting."

"Then I'm not people." Sirius replied simply, before adding, "Rant away, Moons."

He really did say all he wanted to say on that point, since Sirius gave him no pushback on it. Remus wasn't quite sure why he didn't mind, but he resolved to just file his behavior under the mysterious idiosyncrasies of Sirius Black.

Sirius' smile was sly when he spoke up again, "Also, I take it back. You'd be a regular Robin Hood."

Chapter Text

Remus got back into the routine of filming. It was gruelling hours, getting up early, getting in late, but it was worth it. Oh, so worth it. He loved it- acting. He could feel, process, he could expel pent up energy, he could laugh and smile along with the characters he was portraying. It felt good not to have to be himself for a while. Personally, he believed everyone deserved a break from themselves. Whether it was intentional or not, people seek to disappear, to just cease to be for a while. It can be by throwing themselves into literary fiction, non-fiction books that took their mind off their own life and into whatever the topic was, into stories on the big screen, in tv dramas. Escaping through the pursuit of art or sport. It all made it a little easier to exist.

These days, a lot of things have made it easier to exist. For example, once they were off the set, the one that made it all easier was Sirius. Sirius who was at this moment burying his head in the crook of his neck , arms wrapped loosely around his waist. Remus rested his chin on his head, one hand wrapped loosely around his shoulders, while the other brushed out the curls of his hair with his fingers. 

They had developed a habit of doing that now, getting tangled up in each other after shooting. It started after the first day and neither of them complained about the development. They talked about it to the extent of "Are you okay with this?" "Yeah, you?" "Yeah." The underlying reasons for Sirius being so willing were that he had become quite codependent with James and his need for physical touch wasn't being satisfied, so he was more than willing to let Remus fill that void. For Remus, the sad part was that he was touch-starved, he barely got any physical comfort otherwise, usually just a stray pat on the back or a greeting hug from the Longbottoms. He hadn't realised just how much he missed touch until it was afforded to him by Sirius.

They both felt better afterwards. There was something to say about having someone you can just spend time with without expecting to talk. This was for when they were too tired for words, when all that could be done was just exist, but exist in each other's space and know that it's okay. It was a tricky thing, giving something so delicate to someone, so intimate as existing together without any expectations. Afterwards their goodbyes were always hushed, gentle, as if a word spoken at regular volume would bring them back to reality. One of them would slip out and go back to their own room and that would be that.

Sometimes, they would do a fraction of that in front of other people. Just a reminder that they're there for each other. Like on that fabled day of shooting Will ignoring Floris, which Sirius wasn't a fan of on a personal level. During their break in shooting, Sirius padded over to Remus and just looked at him, Remus looking back properly after so many takes of avoiding his gaze and existence altogether. Remus liked Sirius' eyes, that piercing shade of grey, he could look into them for hours, tracing the patterns and seeing all the shades of the world that they reflected. It was like a silver mirror and Remus wanted to check which colour he liked best reflected in Sirius' eyes. At that moment it was dark browns and reds of their backstage space, they made his eyes soft, like you were melting cocoa in a glass of warm milk. A small smile appeared on Sirius' face after holding eye contact for an ungodly amount of time. He then slumped into his own chair next to Remus'.

Remus was reminded of his own promise on the first day of shooting, one he intended to keep. So, he stood up from his surprisingly comfortable chair and stood behind Sirius, easing his fingers into his hair slowly, not wanting to destroy Gary's work, lest he get on his bad side. Sirius exhaled deeply though his nose, sinking into the touch. Remus massaged his scalp gently and Sirius hummed appreciatively.

"You're getting better at this." Sirius smiled lazily, eyes closed in favour of just letting himself recover. "You're quite easy to read about what you like." Remus murmured fondly, Sirius was like an open book when it came to this. He leaned into touches, hummed, smiled, the whole nine yards.

"Am I now?" he breathed out a soft sigh and Remus chuckled. "Gruffudd 's less obvious about liking pets." he teased and this finally made Sirius stir. His eyes opened and he stared at him in mock offense.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Remus asked, not stilling his ministrations. Sirius' brows furrowed slightly. "Talk about what?"

"Today... why it's hard for you." Remus spoke softly and Sirius broke eye contact. Silence was not uncommon between them in these situations. He finally settled on an answer, "Yeah... just later."

"Alright." Remus shifted his fingers from his hair to behind his ears, running his fingers under his jaw, feeling Sirius' muscles relax underneath his touch. Sirius sunk further into his seat. "Okay, that's enough." he grumbled, as if he wasn't the one calling an end to their break.

The smile on Remus' face was wide when he questioned, "Enough?" His hands retreated from him and Sirius begrudgingly got out of his seat, stretching like he just finished a power nap. "I wouldn't be able to get myself back up if you did that longer." he explained, arms dropping from above his head.

Remus tried to be normal about this, he really did, but this whole proximity was messing with his brain chemistry. Sirius being dressed in crop tops and cardigans on set didn't really help the debacle that was his feelings towards the man.

Marlene poked her head into the space with a slight smile. "Ready to go back?" She questioned and her eyes flitted between the two of them. For once, she caught them standing a reputable distance apart from each other. "Two more minutes." Remus requested, leaning over his seat for a water bottle.

Marlene disappeared as quickly as she appeared, only calling behind herself, "Okay, come out when you're ready." Remus took a sip of his water-"I'm gay."-and ended up choking on it almost immediately.

He sputtered, bent in half and Sirius walked over to him, absolutely cackling, before hitting him on the back to help get the water out of his respiratory tract. "Sorry, sorry, couldn't pass up an opportunity for a good joke."  he apologised, but even though Remus couldn't see him, he could tell he was grinning.

Once he could finally breathe again, he blinked out the tears that gathered around his eyes. "Little warning next time would be nice." Remus coughed into his fist. Sirius offered him a bashful smile.

Remus shook his head, smiling nevertheless. "Um, was that purely for the joke or...?" He glanced at Sirius before taking a cautious sip of his water. "Nah, I'm Sirius." He waggled his eyebrows.

"Okay." Remus shrugged, taking another big gulp of his water before screwing the cap back on. Sirius' head tilted as he watched him. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Remus raised an eyebrow, challenging Sirius to question his reaction. "No, I just thought you might have more to say." he shook his head to dispel any lingering thoughts.

Sirius was the first to exit their little space to go back to their filming set. The rest of the day ran smoothly and neither of them were completely exhausted by the end of shooting, which was an uncommon victory for them.

They sat together for lunch combined with dinner with the rest of the cast. At that meal, Sirius poked his fork in Remus' direction. He looked at him quizzically as Sirius chewed. After swallowing, he finally spoke. Unnecessary dramatics, Remus had learned, were Sirius' brand.

"Wanna go for a walk after?" Sirius asked and Remus agreed to it. He couldn't waste a good opportunity where they ended the day early with enough energy for extra-curriculars like that. Usually, they wouldn't venture past the parking lot, Remus barely remembered how the surrounding area looked like, he remembered fields, but not much else.

They managed to get out while the sky was still light. "Left or right?" Remus stood at the offshoot to the main road. Sirius looked down both expanses of the road, looking very similar. Lots of farm fields, some copses of trees on either side. The sun that was tipping slightly to their left. "Let's go left." He started walking backwards down the road, beaming at Remus. He was softly illuminated by the slowly setting sun behind him. Remus thought that was what life was about, spending time with the people that mattered, it didn't really matter what you did as long as it was with them. The fact that Sirius looked absolutely angelic in the light was an added bonus. Sometimes, your friends were radiant and the best thing to ever happen to you, and you just had to deal with that.

"You know what would be cool?" Sirius asked as they fell into step together. Their knuckles brushed together occasionally, neither of them particularly minded it, not enough to mention or move away. Remus hummed, prompting him to continue as he made good use of the countryside air, content to just breathe it in. "If there were sheep or cows around here, so it could be like the good times." Sirius looked around the sprawling hills with an excited smile and Remus felt a squeeze inside his chest.

"It is like the good times, Sirius." Remus reinforced his statement, by grabbing his hand in his own and squeezing it gently. Sirius turned to him, surprise clear on his face. "It was never about the animals." Remus smiled at him gently and Sirius moved his hand so he could thread their fingers together, he looked at their joined hands with a shy smile before he spoke, "It's who you're with."

They walked on without a clear goal in mind, just ambled ahead in search of anything, really. Their hands swung between them as they moved, whether they talked or laughed or continued forward in silence. Remus thought he had never felt that content in his entire life. In the middle of nowhere with barely anyone around, nothing to his name except the clothes on his back and Sirius' hand in his. It was companionship... and it was enough.

In the end, the only destination they reached was a sunset and the slate wall they had been walking along on the side of the road for some time. They climbed onto it, their hands coming apart from each other for the first time. They settled on top of the stone sitting side be side, Remus' shoulder behind Sirius' as they watched the sun set over the horizon. The clouds in the sky were tinted pink and purple as the whole world in front of them glowed bright orange.

Remus turned to look at Sirius for a moment. His breath hitched at the sight because Sirius was gorgeous. Of course, Remus knew this, he'd known this for years, but in that moment, he absolutely took his breath away. The sun washed him in golden hues, bouncing off his skin and making his eyes twinkle and then, then he turned to Remus too, probably having noticed that he was no longer watching the sunset.

"I know we're barely doing anything right now, but I'm having fun." Sirius confessed quietly, a serene smile playing on his features and Remus was sure he had died in that moment. His heart skipped a beat, but before that, it stopped beating at all. "Yeah, me too." he agreed in the same hushed tone. The only sounds besides their voices was the gentle rustle of leaves in the distance and a lone cricket somewhere in the fields.

Remus could have kissed him in that moment. He should have kissed him. A lot of things might have turned out differently if he had just leaned forward at the time, but instead, he turned back towards the sunset and finished watching its descent. There was a moment when he was the only one, but then he felt Sirius turn too, keeping the light pressure of his shoulder pressed against Remus'.

The last sliver of bright orange disappeared below the horizon and they stayed like that, the warmth of the sun slowly dissipating from their skin as the sky turned a soft pink. The dusk was just as beautiful if not more than the sunset itself.

"I felt like I was back in that house." Sirius broke the silence with a gentle admission. Remus turned to him with a slight hum and watched as Sirius observed the view with a melancholic expression. "Not there physically, but in that mindset. While we were filming." he explained.

Remus finally understood what he was talking about and listened intently as his eyes searched his face for any sign of distress. Sirius just seemed resigned, but not unwilling to talk about it, so Remus let him be and just let him continue with the story while they watched the sky.

"Back when I lived with my parents, the old ones, things were a lot different. I did everything they asked, but it was never enough. So I acted out, I was brash, I spoke out of turn, I talked back, full rebellious teen phase. It used to make him laugh." Sirius voice dropped in volume at that. Remus moved his hand behind him so it covered his on the slate. He felt it twitch as he rubbed his thumb across Sirius' palm comfortingly. It seemed to encourage him to continue, he leaned further into Remus and the added warmth reminded Remus that the sun had set and they should probably be on their way back soon.

"My brother, Reggie, I used to make him giggle under his breath with the things I said. Every act of rebellion was to see him hiding a smile from our parents. That was really the only good me acting out caused. The rest... It was bad. They never left scars, couldn't risk my greatest asset." Sirius chuckled, but it was hollow. Remus felt his heart break.

"Well, I guess the scars are still there, they're just all in my head. I started getting rash with it, Reggie begged me to stop, to just give up, because they were hurting me and it was hurting him to see me like that, but I...I was fucked up. I was really fucked up." A sob bubbled out of his chest and Remus brought his arms around him instinctively. Sirius silently shifted himself into his lap, legs still dangling off the edge of the wall.

"Father died and then he became distant when I didn't stop. I talked back and would turn to see his reaction, but he wouldn't even look at me. I'd make a joke and he'd avoid me. I'd walk into a room and he'd find the first excuse to leave it. I lost the only person I cared about in that house. The only thing keeping me in there. I tried-I tried talking to him about going with me. To go to the Potters', but he didn't want to listen, I told him it wasn't me just acting out this time. I was leaving and I begged him to go with me." The tears fell from his eyes as his head rested on Remus' collarbone.

"The day I turned eighteen, I left. I left, but then I called. I called and left messages for him on the house phone, I sent him letters. I hope he got the letters." Sirius sniffled and it was silent for a little bit while Remus just ran his hand in comforting circles on his back. "I haven't talked to him in seven years. He's still in that house, Remus, he's still in there with her." Sirius sounded broken and Remus felt himself breaking right alongside him.

"And you know what the worst part is?" Sirius asked a watery question. Remus shook his head. "He doesn't need me. He's doing well, I've seen the headlines. He doesn't need me and I failed him as a big brother." Sirius completely broke down, curling in on himself while Remus held him.

"Hey, hey, come on. You didn't fail. Sirius, he's doing well, you didn't fail. You were there, you tried. You tried to keep in touch, you tried to get him out. He's okay. You're okay." Remus tried to comfort him as best as he could, but he was reeling himself as well. He continued murmuring reassurances into his hair, while he ran his hands through his curls while Sirius trembled in his arms.

"God, sorry. I'm a mess. I didn't mean to say all that. Just couldn't seem to st-stop." Sirius apologised, running hands down his face, wiping his tears away and sniffling. "It's okay. I'm here for you. Anything you need." Remus assured him, squeezing him tighter. Sirius wrapped his arms around his neck and held on tightly. "Thanks, Moony." he whispered in his ear before hooking his chin around his shoulder.

Remus ran one of his hands in circles on his back, the other running down his hair as he let him recover. The cold on his own back reminded him that they still had a bit of a walk back to the hotel and it was getting nippy out. "We should probably..." he trailed off, not finishing the sentence, but Sirius understood.

"Yeah." he sighed and gave Remus one last squeeze before leaning away. The skin around his eyes and nose was red and his lips were puffy, his eyes slightly glossy from unshed tears, but he still looked beautiful. Trust Sirius Black to look absolutely stunning even while falling apart. Remus didn't think about it as one of his hands lifted and settled on the man's cheek. Sirius closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, a small smile gracing his features. Finally, as all things should be.

"Come on." Remus whispered, thumb brushing over the slightly coarse skin on his cheek, he could feel the path of shed tears underneath his fingertips, contrasting with the usual softness. Sirius opened his eyes and looked at him again.

The fading dusk light reflected in his eyes and Remus was gone. He was so completely gone. He was never getting himself back and maybe that was alright. If this was where he left himself, maybe that was fine.

Then Sirius finally untangled himself from him and jumped off the wall. Remus followed suit as Sirius started on his way back, arms around himself as he shuddered.

"Bloody cold out, wanna race back?" he threw a smile over his shoulder at Remus and before he could reply, had already started running. "Not fair!" Remus called after him as he broke out into a run after him.

"Last one there has to take Gruffudd for his morning walk!" Sirius yelled, inexplicably slowing down for Remus to catch up. "Wanker, that's your job!" he reminded him and Sirius laughed.

They ended up running together the rest of the way, neither of them ending up the winner. Actually, both of them forgot there was anything at stake. They burst into the lobby, it's warm air enveloping them instantly. They panted while catching their breaths.

"Well, that certainly saved us some time." Remus wheezed, he couldn't stop the grin on his face. "We should do that again." Sirius agreed enthusiastically.

"No shot." Remus shut that down quickly and Sirius guffawed. A clearing of the throat brought them out of their little bubble.

"The lights out period starts in two minutes." The receptionist informed them. "We'll be quiet." Remus flashed her an apologetic smile, starting on his way up to their rooms.

"Speak for yourself." Sirius muttered, shoving him playfully on the back. Remus snickered at his remark. "You plan on howling?" Remus joked, but Sirius skipped up the steps ahead of him and turned to him with mischief in his eyes. "To the moon." he grinned and opened his mouth.

Remus had about enough time for his eyes to widen and his hand to clasp over Sirius' mouth, muting the start of his howl. The gesture reduced Sirius to giggles, his eyes crinkling happily.

"You are unbelievable." Remus breathed out, a smile tugging at his lips as he shook his head in disappointment. Sirius just looked at him with stars in his eyes, still slightly pink around the edges. Remus let out a sigh and levelled him with a look. "If I take my hand back, will you behave?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him, then rolled his eyes and nodded. Just before he took his hand back, he felt Sirius' lips on the inside of his palm. He chose not to mention the quick kiss as he continued up the stairs. Even as the patch of skin tingled after the contact.

Sirius, caught up to him and walked him to the door (his own room was further down the hallway). His hand ruffled his hair affectionately. "Goodnight, Moony." He bid him, smile evident in his tone.

"Goodnight, Sirius." Remus replied before disappearing into his room. He stared down at his hand, tracing the middle with his fingers. He felt pathetic as he considered pressing his lips to the inside of his palm, where Sirius' mouth was Remus let out a deep sigh, rubbing his hands over his face to get some semblance of sense into his skull. He had to get it into his thick brain that a friend wouldn't do that. He shouldn't do that.

Instead, he cradled the hand to his chest, pressing it right over his heart. He was fairly certain his resting heart rate around Sirius was higher than his usual. Almost convinced it beat louder around him as well. That was not the reaction he wanted to have to a very good, very platonic friend.

Remus was in for a role of a lifetime.

Chapter Text

"I would like everyone to anticipate us shifting filming hours on Sunday. I want everyone to be ready an hour before sunset as it's a full moon. Then, we'll also be filming the next two nights as it will still look relatively the same. We have a maximum of three shooting days to get this right. Remember, everyone these are pivotal scenes in the film, let's get this right." Marlene announced before their filming started on Friday. Remus welcomed the change, he would finally be able to sleep in, something he was grateful for.

"Morning, Moons." Sirius greeted at the breakfast table on Sunday sleepily. His hair was brushed this morning though a stark difference from the usual mussed state they were in the mornings. Clearly the change in their wake up call made him have enough energy to put more of an effort before leaving his room. "Good morning." Remus smiled over his cup.
Sirius looked at the mug longingly and Remus' grinned as he slid over a second cup he had across the table. Sirius followed the motion and his eyes lit up. He took an excited sip and sighed contentedly.

"Is that how you take yours?" Sirius tilted his head curiously at Remus who shook his head. "No, I take more milk." Remus put his own cup down, with lighter liquid inside.

"How did you know how I take it? Are you stalking me?" Sirius smirked, sitting down across him happily. "Pandora was here earlier, I asked her." Remus shrugged easily.

"You didn't also get me breakfast, did you?" Sirius batted his eyelashes at him playfully. Remus wished it was as ridiculous as it would be on anyone else and not actually attractive. "Didn't know what you wanted, you never get the same thing twice." Remus answered and Sirius looked him over appraisingly. It seemed he passed, because a grin overtook his features.

"Never let them know your next move." He stood from the table and went over to get himself breakfast. Remus went back to reading his book, he enjoyed the daylight filtering through the windows in the restaurant part of the hotel.

When Sirius returned, he was holding two plates. First, he put his own down, before sliding the second over to Remus. He looked up and his gaze first landed on Sirius smiling at him, before dropping back down towards it. His eyes locked onto the piece of brownie before him. He looked back up at Sirius quizzically, who in turn shrugged just as easily.

"Come on, I see how you look at it every time someone brings it over." Sirius decided that was a sufficient explanation before digging into his own food. "Don't know why you deny yourself." he added before shoving a forkful of breakfast into his mouth.

"You've doomed me." Remus informed him. He heaved a sigh before starting on the chocolate cake. "Now, I'm going to get it every day and my sugar addiction will get out of control." He explained, but then the chocolate landed on his tongue and he resisted a sigh.

"Please, and you say I'm dramatic." Sirius smirked at him and Remus shook his head. "One doesn't exclude the other, you are dramatic." he pointed to Sirius with his fork.

"Yes, I am." he grinned back proudly. The rest of breakfast carried on without further culinary surprises.

They got into wardrobe later for the first time since the start of filming. It felt strange to be fully cognizant for that part, they were usually half-awake and going through the motions as they got ready for set. This time, there was no catching up on lost sleep in makeup chairs, no changing with closed eyes, to get some reprieve from the approaching day. They were fully ready mentally to film as soon as they stepped foot into the space.

The thing about that filming day is that they would be filming the scenes before the party and them leaving it as well as the transformation scene, in their entirety if they could manage it. The second and third day would be them filming the party with a bunch of extras and reshooting any gaps in the transformation scenes if the Moon allowed it. The other thing was hat this day included a scene of Will helping Floris get ready. Of course, Marlene waited right before that scene to tell Sirius to lie down on the bed. She then proceeded to fiddle with his hair so it laid nicely around his face, before telling Remus to get on top of him. To which Remus balked slightly, but then Marlene just kept explaining the vision behind the pose so he just did as instructed.

That's how Remus Lupin ended up straddling Sirius Black on top of a bed. It would be one of his notable moments if they weren't acting. Thankfully, this scene (which was added late in their readings) required him to focus on something else other than their position. Floris had asked Will to help with his eyeliner, despite being completely capable of doing it himself, and that's how the two of them ended up on the bed, Will hovering over Floris with a stick of kohl, trying to do a decent job. His eyeliner was already mostly done by Arabella, but there were a couple areas Remus was set to fill as per her instructions. He leaned over Sirius, this was the part that sucked. Usually in these scenes, Remus was Will, but he really couldn't focus on being in character as much, because he was too set on not stabbing Sirius in the eye, which was thankfully the same course of action Will was on while helping Floris.

He pressed the kohl in the outer corner of his eye, then tried smudging it out with his thumb gently, when that didn't work, he remembered Arabella's instruction and licked the pad of his thumb before properly smudging the line this time. His eyes connected with Sirius', who was just staring up at him like he couldn't be close enough. It was intoxicating. They were acting. He started moving onto the next eye, but before he could smudge it the same way again, Marlene called a cut.

"Good work you two, Arabella, take Sirius for final touches." She announced, clapping happily.

Remus straightened up from the position and looked at Sirius, who was still lying down. From this far away, he could finally see the blush dusting his cheeks. "You okay? You could have stopped me if me smudging it that way was too much." Remus got off him and offered him a hand up. Sirius looked at it curiously, before shaking his head. "Yeah," his voice broke over the syllable, "yeah, no, that was fine, Ari warned me beforehand. Still surprised me a little." He cleared his throat and accepted the outstretched hand.

Sirius was taken for the final touches and then they were set to do the scene of them before the party. Floris going ahead and Will staying back to check the moon. Floris would stop before going inside, checking if he was still coming.

He would call his name to know avail before going back to him and putting his hand on his cheeks, physically turning him away from the moon.

"Hey, look at me. It'll be fine." he assured him. "It's just a party. I'll be there with you. Every step of the way." Floris reminded him.

"Okay?" he asked. "Okay." Will nodded. The smile Floris awarded him was brighter than the moon as his hands fell away from his face, trailing down to grasp his. "C'mon then. You, me, dancing." At that, Floris shimmied their hands between them enthusiastically and Will barked out a laugh at his antics.

"It'll be fun." Floris promised, dropping one of his hands, using the other to drag him inside the brightly lit house.

That was the shot they had to cut on the next one would be Will exiting the house from the back, walking briskly while Floris tried to catch up after him. They filmed the second confrontation scene about five times, trying to get all the shots right. The tricky part about the confrontation was that it ended in Will transforming, and that was something they needed to get right or it would look tacky. They ended the scene with them crouching in the grass of the meadow in the back of the house as it was in the script. On the first take, when Remus walked away, Sirius lost his balance and they had to shoot it again. The shot of the camera had to be static. During the next takes, Remus was tasked with steadying Sirius until they placed Gruffudd in his place.

Normally, they'd have someone else from the crew help, but every change in the grass pattern could disrupt the shot so only the people pivotal to setting the scene: Sirius, Remus, John and Gruffud were involved. Thankfully, John trained Gruffudd well and stay was absolutely a command he could execute. The problem was, Gruffudd was still a dog. His reaction after they started rolling again changed every time. It was a painstaking process. From Sirius having to crouch for a solid 45 minutes with minor breaks, to Remus basically doing squats to crouch down with him and then moving away for the same period of time as they tried to get the shot. Once they finally felt like they got the right reaction from Gruffudd, that was the fun part.

It was the unscripted part where Sirius and Gruffudd just got to play, tussle, run around, chase and all around have a good time. They had a static shot set on the meadow of the two playing under the soft moonlight and they had two other handheld cameras, one of them usually in use, while Marlene held the last one for the impromptu epiphanies for shots she got sometimes. Since Will was currently being played by Gruffudd, he could just stand back and watch. Sirius was really good with him, like really good. If anyone told Remus he'd been his childhood dog and not one that Sirius met approximately eleven days ago, Remus would believe you.

At some point Marlene called out for Sirius to lie down in the grass and keep Gruffudd there. Then it was her and John, going over to quickly get them out of shot. They reconvened behind the static camera of the meadow with the full moon, Marlene explained that they wanted to timelapse the change into day and for that, they would either have to keep Sirius and Gruffudd in the grass there for hours of get them out of shot as quickly as possible so they could get away with cutting a really small snippet that wouldn't be visible in the timelapse.

Then, they were set to film Gruffudd sleeping on Sirius, which they did on a random path of grass in the meadow and not the same one they supposedly fell asleep it in the static shot (although they would have to find that spot again, because Marlene wanted to try and get a shot of them getting up, both human. They also needed shot of Will and Floris waking up, Will waking up on Floris, the transformation having worn off. The place where they did the shot with Gruffudd and the one with Remus would have to be the same one. They filmed the first, but had to wait for dawn to do the second. It being late July, they didn't need to wait for too long.

The whole crew got a break, the only camera rolling being the timelapse static, they ate lunch under the stars, Sirius offered to stay in the same spot he was lying for the shot, not wanting to disturb the grass or his position. Remus offered to sit with him and also eat his in that patch of grass to keep him company, since he was set to also be there for the next shot anyway. They got a large blanket to share around their shoulders.

"Today was a good day." Remus hummed, eating his freshly heated curry. Sirius nodded over his own bites. "Yeah, it was fun. Could do it again, honestly." he agreed.

"Be careful what you wish for. Marlene wants you and Gruffudd back here again tomorrow for dynamic shots." Remus informed him, because he'd been talking over Marlene during the almost an hour and a half of the two playing. "Aww, score!" Sirius whooped excitedly, shimmying his shoulders next to him under the blanket.

Once they finished their takeout they were given a thermos of their preferred beverage (Most of the crew were having their drinks and dinner inside, so the only two that they brought thermal cups for were Sirius, Marlene, Remus and John, since they were outside the longest. John had already packed up and left with Gruffudd for the night before they started eating so it was mostly just the two of them outside, Marlene popping out roughly every one a quarter to twenty minutes asking them if they needed anything and what to refill their cups with (they had a coffee machine in the kitchen of the house and various assortments of tea and even hot cocoa, Sirius requested they stock up before filming), of course, the hot cocoa was the first he requested on their first drinks run.

Overall, it felt a little bit like Remus and Sirius were on a mandated date by the cast, since Remus refused to abandon him alone in the grass and Sirius was stubborn enough not to want to get up and risk the shot. So really, they were the crew that mandated the date. Two of them under a sky full of a million stars. They could even see fireflies in the distance, Remus pointed them out and Sirius was absolutely awestruck. He admitted to never seeing them before in person and wished he could come closer. Remus offered for them to get up, but no one gets past a Black's dogged determination.

Sirius learned back on his hands, they gave him gloves because they were getting cold. Remus turned to look at him, but something on Sirius' shirt caught his eyes. He tilted his head to see it better and then dissolved into giggles, shaking against Sirius' side.

"What's so funny?" Sirius asked, already grinning because Remus' laugh was infectious for him. "Y-your, " Remus was really going through it, "oh my god, that's so cute" He breathed in between laughter, his hands were preoccupied with clutching his sides so he couldn't even show Sirius.

"Moony, you've got to use your words." Sirius laughed lightly along with him, he really was weak to his laughter. Remus held his hand up in a motion to wait while he caught his breath. He looked at Sirius positively beaming. "Your shirt." He breathed out, still a little bit winded.

Sirius looked down at his shirt, he couldn't really make it out in the light, but there was definitely something on it. "You have Gruffudd's muddy paw prints on it. They're adorable." Remus cooed, running a hand through his hair.

Sirius lifted the fabric to inspect it and sure enough, there was the marks. "The evidence of his dirty padded feet has to stay, it'll be a continuity error otherwise." Remus was trying so hard not to laugh again, but Sirius had no such qualms. He hung his head back as he let out an absolute cackle. If they didn't get better shots of the transformation, the muddy pads of Gruffudd's feet would forever be immortalised in the film.

"You know, I'm kind of fond of them." Sirius beamed back, straightening his shirt back down. "Yeah, me too." Remus teased back, he looked down at them and Sirius' absolutely delighted face.

Remus' eyes lit up with mirth. "They suit you, Padfoot." he admitted and Sirius absolutely howled with laughter. It shook him to the point he fell back on the grass, the blanket ending up squashed beneath him, having slipped off their shoulders. Remus hadn't even realised he was laughing along with him until the muscles of his stomach hurt along with the ones in his face from how much he was smiling. When Sirius looked back at him, his eyes sparkled like you could see Canis Major this time of year after all, because the brightest star was right there. "Can I keep it?"

"The shirt? No, I'm pretty sure they're going to wash it before tomorrow." Remus answered sadly, he was actually really disappointed about that. He did mean it when he said it was adorable. Sirius looked at him with puppy eyes and a pout. "Don't use those on me, it's Marlene you've got to convince." Remus pointed out, because he would absolutely let him take the shirt for sentimentality's sake. Sirius continued his act.

"And the nickname?" he asked. He didn't really need to use the puppy eyes for that. "You got it, Pads." Remus smiled at him gently and Sirius' disposition immediately brightened.

Sirius lifted himself from the grass and the blanket was once more draped over their shoulders. "You know, I normally know a lot of these." Sirius jutted his jaw up at the sky. "Yeah?" Remus prompted and settled against his side comfortably.

They spent the rest of their break stargazing. Sirius half pointing out the star systems he actually knew and could spot in the myriad of stars, others were constellations he was making up on the spot, mostly just to hear Remus laugh.

"You see that one?" Sirius pointed to a spot in the sky and Remus tilted his head towards him to see where he was pointing better. A few brighter stars jumped out at him when Sirius followed the shape with his hand. It was a cluster relatively close to the Moon, but he could see them pretty well. "Which one's that?" he asked.

Sirius sighed wistfully, "Gruffudd." That awarded him a laugh from Remus. "You're laughing, but see its brightest star on the bottom? That's Padfoot." Sirius seemed quite proud of his new astronomical discovery.

Remus squinted his eyes in the direction again and even though he didn't really visualise it as Sirius did, he said, "Oh yeah, I see it. Really bright, that one." Sirius grinned, nodding with the self-importance of a revered scholar.

"Close to the Moon, right where it belongs." he added. Remus right about melted at that. "Always?" he inquired.

"Yeah, it follows it around like a dog. Hence the name." Sirius explained this very non-scientific occurrence. Remus felt himself being way in over his head, but at the moment, he couldn't find it within himself to care.

Once they got closer to five in the morning the crew emerged back onto the field, getting ready to shoot again. Sirius and Remus got ready to pretend to sleep and wake up tangled up with each other.

Maybe one day, it wouldn't be them acting.

Chapter Text

On their second afternoon back on set, Marlene wanted them back out doing the transformation scenes, Sirius was due to play around with Gruffudd once more and, different from the previous night, was personally asked by Marlene to come in for a close up shot. Sirius was ecstatic, that might have been from having spent the evening running around with his favourite canine friend. He had asked if there were any lines Marlene had in mind, but she just told him to go for it and then told him to look at Remus while she filmed.

Remus had been no stranger to being an anchor point in shots, you often picked an object or person to latch onto when splicing material. However, he usually wasn't an anchor point for the smile of Sirius Black, beaming at him with the strength of the whole night and then some. Remus was glad the light was on Sirius and not himself, because he feared the state his cheeks were in with how much they burned under his skin.

The third day had them filming the party before the transformation, they had invited tens of extra for that night and the following one, the moon phase hadn't mattered as much since the shots were filmed inside, but Marlene wanted to use them having switched to night hours because it still had to be dark outside for them. 

That's how they spent four nights in a row filming. The days of later filming felt just as bad as the ones where they had to wake up early. Scratch that, they were actually worse because their biological clocks were confused and their sleeping schedules ruined. They got back in at around seven in the morning, were due to sleep and had to be back in wardrobe at half past six in the afternoon at the latest. They filmed all the shots they needed and then some (the paw-printed shirt got washed after each day of filming). Thankfully, Marlene was humane enough to let them have the day off on Wednesday, but that didn't happen without their semi-delirious planning.

"We should just sleep the entire day." Sirius replied, dead on his feet outside Remus' door. Remus ran his hands across his face. "No, we can't do that, then we won't be able to sleep at night and we'll be back to square one." he argued. Sirius let out a large sigh, resting his forehead on Remus' shoulder and trying to stay upright.

"You figure it out, Moony. I'll just do the same." He passed the lead over to Remus, which was easy for him since he didn't have the energy to think, much less coherent thoughts, and definitely not strategic mathematical thoughts at that moment. Remus closed his eyes as he scrambled for his brain to produce a working plan. "Hold on, I need to look at the alarm clock." he grumbled, opening his door and they both fumbled inside.

Sirius didn't seem to notice or mind that it wasn't his bed he was throwing himself onto. Remus sat on the edge of the same mattress and picked up the clock. The blaring numbers blinded him with their intensity in the dark. What time did they usually go to sleep before shoots? Ten pm? Yeah, it seemed alright. Now, how many hours on their feet would tire them enough to sleep by then? Eight? Would eight hours do it? Seemed plausible.

Remus set the alarm for noon, which gave them... maybe four and a half hours of sleep, better than nothing. They just needed the day to reset. "We're getting up at noon." He informed Sirius, having half a mind to nudge him to get his shoes off before they both crashed in his bed.

It seemed entirely too quick before the alarm rang that morning.

An arm swatted at the air over Remus, hitting him in the chest. "Ow , cut it out, Pads." Remus swatted his hand at the swatting hand. Sirius mumbled from next to him, "Turn it off. I wanna sleep."

Remus smacked the alarm clock, which thankfully stopped blaring. Remus scrubbed his hands over his face, emitting a low groan. He knew he set the alarm correctly, which would mean that they should be getting up. Problem was, he didn't wanna and Sirius wasn't helping. Once the alarm was shut off, he threw his arm across Remus and snuggled into his side. Peculiarly, it didn't seem weird to wake up next to Sirius, it felt normal, natural, like they've done it the entire time. Maybe the thought would have spooked him if he wasn't grappling with the responsibility of getting them back on track.

"C'mon, Padfoot, up and back to your room." Remus patted the arm lying on top of him. Sirius muttered, "You go, 's my room."

Remus chuckled, slowly coming back to consciousness he no longer had to fight to keep. "No, it's not." he informed him and Sirius took his arm back and propped himself on the mattress. His eyes opened and checked the room with a bleary gaze. "Gonna be honest, can't tell the difference, could be yours, could be mine." he failed at stifling a yawn.

"View out the window." Remus pointed above the headboard and Sirius followed his guidance, squinting at the light streaming through. "Shit, you're right." he groaned in defeat and pushed himself up to sit up on the mattress. He rubbed sleep out of his eyes, trying to adjust his eyes to the daylight. He threw his feet off the edge and leaned down to pick up the shoes he'd kicked off the previous night (or rather earlier that morning).

"Meet you for breakfast?" Sirius yawned on his way to the door. Remus pushed himself up as well, nodding sleepily. "I'll see you there." he called back before running his hands through the mess of hair on top of his head.

Once the two walking dead reconvened at breakfast only coffee could save them. "How much sleep did we get?" Sirius questioned. Remus swung his head side to side as he tried to remember. "Roughly 4 hours."

Sirius let out a quiet whine, "Last time I'm letting you plan the sleeping schedule." He then downed about half of his coffee. "You'll thank me tomorrow." Remus hummed, sipping his own slowly.

There was no gratitude in Sirius' eyes. "I really doubt that." he deadpanned. "Only free day in the last two weeks and we're dead on our feet." he moaned.

It was late enough that they were the only ones in the restaurant, which wouldn't be for long as they would start serving lunch soon.

They ended up eating breakfast at a leisurely pace, neither of them packed much onto their plates, mostly obtaining their sustenance in the form of liquid caffeine. Remus brought a book, like he had a habit of doing, to read over his meals. This time, though, the words on the page didn't make sense. The passages blurred together and his usual source of entertainment proved futile. In his search for a worthy alternative, his eyes landed on Sirius.

Sirius, who was occupying himself by looking out of the window. Remus followed his gaze and joined him in watching the nature happening on the other side of the glass pane.

The hills sprawled out into the distance, the undulations overlapping each other like a turbulent sea. The sunshine washing over the fields in waves, the blades of grass glinting. It was sort of magical that ordinary occurrences such as sunlight could make grass glitter like a precious jewel. All it took was for the sun to be reflected off a surface of a byproduct of fertile soil.

Among the plains, livestock fed on the gleaming grass in the sections that weren't utilised as farmlands. Sirius sighed at the view wistfully, "They're there when you're inside, but the moment you go out to see them, they're nowhere to be found."

Remus' lips twitched at the comment. "Give them a break, Pads. They're just cows." he negotiated Sirius' stance on the animals. Sirius just grumbled stubbornly, "I bet I could sing to them and they'd come over too."

Remus smirked at the petulant remark, "I'm sure all the farm local animals would flock around you, just to hear your melodious wailing." Sirius levelled him with a glare, but it didn't hold any real heat to it. "You're on thin ice today, Moons. Don't push it." he warned.

Remus raised his hands in surrender as he defended himself, "I mean it. I'm sure your singing voice is nice, aren't you musically trained?"

Sirius seemed appeased by that answer. That particular tidbit of information was something Sirius had once told him It pleased Sirius to no end that he remembered.

"I was, but it wasn't singing." he was fishing at that point, wanting to feel validated. "Sure, piano isn't the same. You know, I've actually been curious if your skills hold up after all this time." Remus smiled thoughtfully. Sirius' eyes glinted as he took that as a challenge.

"I would gladly show you." Sirius boasted easily. "On what piano, Pads?" Remus looked around to punctuate his point. His eyes landed on the few people filling in due to lunch hour.

Sirius sighed, "You're right. Remind me to show you back in London." He seemed completely at peace with the idea of keeping in touch after the shooting and Remus felt warmth spread through him at that. Something to look forward to.

All these projects over the years. All the indie films, the commercials, the one-off TV series appearance, and not once did his life become changed after returning. It was like a trip, a vacation, you came back and things were back to normal. It was always normal. This was shaping up to be something that would change him. It scared him and excited him. The two emotions seemed to be closely linked and often hard to distinguish.

"Are we staying for lunch?" Remus suggested, they were already there after all. Sirius looked around them at the people carrying plates. "Hmm, what are they serving?" was his follow-up.

Remus craned his neck to check. "Carbonara, I think." he guessed from the look of it. Sirius' lips quirked up in a smirk. "Oh, we're staying ."

 
Remus was relegated by Sirius to get both of their portions while he sipped his coffee and people watched. It suited Remus fine, he'd spent plenty of time sitting in the restaurant area during the previous fortnight. Once he got back to their table, Sirius piped up with a little excited "thank you" that absolutely melted his heart.

When Remus sat down in his chair, Sirius leaned in conspiratorially before speaking in a low tone, "Don't look now, but the couple behind me to the left-" Remus glanced left over Sirius' shoulder. "I told you not to look!" he chastised in a whisper.

"Also, my left, not your left." he smirked. "Either way, they're here together, but get this, they're not married. Well they are, but to other people. They're both cheating." Sirius disclosed in a hushed tone.

Remus leaned back and let out a dramatic, but equally hushed "no". Sirius hummed, nodding in confirmation.  He swirled his fork around in the spaghetti in victory.

"How is it that I leave you for five minutes and you've caught up the latest gossip?" Remus questioned and Sirius grinned smugly, pausing his fork before it reached his lips. "I simply have excellent hearing. You should try it sometime." he challenged.

"Did you get that hearing in your piano lessons?" Remus raised his brow at him and Sirius laughed, before finally digging into his carbonara. "Precisely." he spoke over his food and Remus just rolled his eyes.

Afterwards, they decided to give the whole 'walk' thing another go. This time, they decided to go right ("We already know what's on the left" as Sirius said).

They walked right for a while, but with no sunset in sight, they just gave up at some point. The hills were different on the right, but that was about it. Just a lot of fields. They found one that wasn't used for farming and settled to take a break there.

They sat down on the grass, or rather Remus sat down, while Sirius resolved to fully lie down on the greenery. He stretched out like he a cat in the sun and emitted a content sigh. His eyes were closed, the very picture of relaxation.

"You shouldn't fall asleep on me here." Remus warned him, propping himself back on his hands. Sirius opened an eye and eyed him suspiciously. "Join me then." he replied simply.

Remus sighed, seriously considering it for a second. "I feel like if we fall asleep here, we'll just wake up tomorrow already late for set." he declined. He really hated being the voice of reason sometimes. Sirius wasn't a big fan of it either, especially when the reasoning resonated with him. His eyes opened and they took on blue hue as he watched the sky.

"You're probably right... Just lie down with me then?" he suggested. Who was Remus to decline? They lied side by side, just looking at the clouds passing by across the firmament. Remus felt at peace in the moment, but he really missed one thing as he lay there.

"How long till the ants start crawling over us, you think?" he inquired and heard Sirius laugh beside him. There it was. At peace. 

"Would it kill you to accept whimsy for five minutes?" Sirius questioned, but he was very clearly grinning. Remus could tell even without looking at him.

"Is that what you think? Five minutes?" Remus pushed and was rewarded with another bout of laughter. "Sto-op." Sirius swatted at his arm and Remus couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him. He turned his head to discover Sirius was already looking at him.

"You clearly need a distraction." Sirius raised an eyebrow at him. Remus waited for him to elaborate, which he did. "Cloud-watching. Tell me what you see." he prompted, face turning back to the sky.

Remus followed the outline of his profile against the green grass and bright blue sky, before turning his face to try to see shapes in clouds. Remus had to admit, not something he did often, he very much preferred sitting inside with a book, tea and a record playing softly in the background. However, as things stood, he was in a different country, far away from his personal book and vinyl collection.

He witnessed a blob of white travel across the sky and pointed at it, "Horse." "Horse?" Sirius hummed from beside him pensively. "Horse." he agreed and Remus burst out laughing.

"Okay, your turn." he gestured for him to continue, just content to look while he waited for Sirius' mind to work.

Sirius' pale hand shot out on the edge of his vision, pointing at a particular shape. It looked like a- "Gingerbread man." " No ." Remus was affronted, it was very clearly a "Fish. It's a fish."

Sirius hummed in consideration before disagreeing, "Nah, can't see it." Remus looked at him, completely bewildered. "Are you blind?"

Sirius turned to him stubbornly. "Last I checked? No." He harrumphed defiantly. "Well, maybe you should check again." Remus grumbled under his breath, but they were lying so close to each other that even their breathing was audible.

Sirius' jaw dropped at the audacity of his comment as his breath was punched out of him. "Okay, fuck you." he brushed him off and turned back to the sky. He wasn't done though, he didn't fully let go until he added, "Your turn, prick."

A smile tugged at Remus' lips as he followed suit, but not before whispering, "Still a fish." Much to Sirius' chagrin, he didn't let him argue further when he pointed at the sky.

"It's a..." he started the sentence. He had really hoped the shape would speak to him while he did that. Sirius, the fucker, did not let the previous slight go and pounced at the opportunity. "Yeah? Use your eyes, Moony. What is it?" he taunted.

"Prick." Remus muttered and Sirius nodded. "Yeah, fair, but you starte-" "No, it looks like a prick." Remus waved over to the cloud and Sirius shut up.

"Huh. Yeah, yeah it does." he conceded and started giggling. "You're also a prick though, for the record." Remus added. Sirius laughed at that, the strength of it racking him to the point of rolling across the grass. Coincidentally, rolling into Remus, but he wasn't complaining.

The giggles died down and Remus also got his own under control (it was hard not to laugh along with Sirius). The silence that hung in the air afterwards was broken by Sirius singing, "Don't let me hear you say life's taking you nowhere, Angel~ " Remus rolled his eyed, but humoured him and just listened.

Sirius, kept going, "Come get up, my baby, Look at that sky, life's begun~ " He rolled onto his back. "Nights are warm and the days are young, Come get up, my baby~ " he sang uninterrupted while Remus just listened. Of course, Remus knew what song it was. He'd gotten Station to Station not long after it became available in the UK, over a decade ago. He’d had fond memories associated with that album and it seemed like he was about to make more.

"You finished with Bowie?" he questioned, but Sirius just shook his head, grinning as he carried on, "Golden years, gold whop whop whop~ "

"If you're doing this to attract cows, it's not going to-"  Sirius grabbed his shoulder for leverage as he pushed himself onto his elbows. " Come get up, my baby~ " Sirius sang over him, but he did it pointedly. "Last night they loved you, Opening doors and pulling some strings, Angel~" He leaned in towards him slightly before pulling back.

"Come get up, my baby, In walked luck and you looked in time, Never look back, walk tall, act fine, Come get up, my baby~ " Sirius gesticulated so much during that part it felt more like a dance. Remus had never seen someone dance energetically while lying on the ground, but there was no impossible feat for Sirius Black. His incredulous over-the-top expressions really sold it.

However, the real show was what followed next.

"I'll stick with you, baby, for a thousand years, Nothing's gonna touch you in these golden years~ " Sirius grinned at him. "You are aware that golden years are supposed to be something  you reminisce on, not right no-" He was cut off by Sirius shooting him with an absolutely lethal side glare.

Remus absolutely lost it at that. The lyrics of the rest of the song barely registered in his brain. He was too busy laughing to notice anything beyond Sirius' theatrics that accompanied his a capella performance. Once Sirius deemed his rendition complete, he sat up and looked around.

"Aw man." He sighed and Remus only laughed harder. "Were you actually hoping for cows? I'm pretty sure they have to hear you to come over first." he snickered.

"Listen, I'm lucky. Good things happen to me. I thought I could just-" "Snow White your way into summoning cows?" Remus finished and Sirius huffed.

He crossed his arms defensively. "Maybe I was." he grumbled. "Well, I didn't think it would actually work, but I'm still disappointed." he pouted.

"For what its worth, as your resident cow, I find myself very entertained." Remus shot him a lopsided smirk. Sirius looked at him appraisingly, before unfurling his arms. "You would be, wouldn't you, Moo -ny?" he grinned down at him and Remus fought off a groan.

"I regret saying anything." he amended his previous statement. However, his misery seemed to invigorate Sirius, who jumped up to his feet and held out his hand in invitation. "Come on, let's get back for dinner." he beckoned, curling the fingers in his hand to get him on his feet.

"You're hungry already?" Remus questioned, but he accepted his hand to stand up. Sirius grinned and announced proudly, "I'm going to eat steak."

Remus failed to stifle the grin on his face. "What is this? Some sort of revenge?" he questioned and Sirius nodded sagely. "Yes, that's exactly what this is, they're going to pay." he confirmed.

Remus shook his head, "You are aware you cannot punish the cows for not coming to you impromptu concert by eating steak?" It was important to him that he knew that. "You've got to dream bigger, Moons. Change starts with you." He poked him in the chest and started on the road back to the hotel.

"I find your desire for bovine retribution mildly amusing, which is why I regret to tell you they might not be serving steak tonight." Remus nodded solemnly. Sirius' head whipped towards him, "Why? What do you know?"

Remus barked out a startled laugh. "I don't know anything. It's just, they might not." he explained, but Sirius levelled him with an unimpressed look. "Cow sympathiser." he muttered and then proceeded to shake his head as if Remus was the crazy one.

Maybe they were both crazy.

Chapter Text

James Potter loved being Spiderman. He loved every single bit of it. Sure, the people had a bit of a riot when they realised their Friendly Neighbourhood Spiderman would be played by a half-Indian man, but James was ecstatic. He had been no stranger to backlash because of his ethnicity, far from it, but he believed there was something special about him getting to play this particular superhero. He was meant as a role that any teenager could see themselves in, they could be Spiderman. For James, he actually was.

Sure, there were others before him, but that made him more excited if he was being honest. There were only two downsides. The first was that he was across the pond from his family. He missed his parents and Sirius dearly and they called when they could, but it was harder with his brother working on his own project. The second? His co-star hated him.

Not Peter Pettigrew. Pete and James were getting along swimmingly, which was fitting since they were playing best friends. No, James had a problem with his MJ- Lily Evans. He really tried to talk to her while they weren't shooting, strike up a conversation, be funny, charming. Okay, so she was pretty. Like, unfathomably pretty. And technically, she had more experience than him doing this gig, but that had never stopped James before, he always liked being on good terms with everyone.

Yes, James had been told that you can never please everyone, but he always took that more as a challenge. And Lily? She was... fierce, confident, she wasn't afraid to give him the cold shoulder and James respected that. James really respected that and it only made him more determined to change her mind. Especially since they worked so well on screen together. How come when the cameras are rolling they were so compatible, but when the take ended, she acted like she wanted nothing to do with him?

James grew up in a happy household. Effie and Monty are some of the most caring parents one could ever have. They loved him dearly, he was never really lacking in anything through his life, well, maybe except a companion his age, but he found that in Sirius. He was used to things going his way, usually able to either manifest them into being with his can-do attitude or charm them into existence. The thing about James Potter is: he was a bit coddled, spoiled, if you will.

"Me and Peter are going to be having lunch down at the cafeteria, save you a spot?" James offered, this usually went over well. People liked being cordial with each other. James liked being cordial with people. "C'mon, Lily, not even once? We all eat at the café anyway, it'd just be us sitting at a table together." James tried once again, trying to coax Lily into agreeing to a, mind you, very platonic meeting.

"How many more times are you going to try this before I accuse you of harassment?" Lily snapped back and his expression froze, the smile lodged on his face. His enthusiasm got extinguished in a second.

"Oh sorry, thought you... Nevermind, I'll just go." James shook his head, withdrawing from the conversation and leaving Lily Evans alone. In all his previous attempts, never once did Lily outright tell him no, just that she would think about it or she'd join them another time. This was the first time she explicitly refused and the message rang loud and clear.

"No, you don't get it, Sirius, she hates me. Like actually truly despises me and I have no idea what I did." James whined over the phone, back in his own space. Sirius chuckled on the other line, "No one could truly hate you, James." The reinforcement did make a smile tug at his lips, but he was distraught nonetheless.

"I think she might, I mean. It's been months and I swear every time I've tried to be civil, she looks at me like I just threatened her whole family." James explained, a dreamy quality to his tone.

James did not like people being mean to him, he didn't. It's just that... Everyone who was nice to him was his friend, James was friendly with a lot of friends. So many people James would consider friends, but Lily? She was something else.

Sirius sighing brought James out of his reverie. "Listen kid-" "I'm literally only a year younger than you-" "Old chum, you're gonna get there eventually. Some people are just not for us." Sirius' voice had a wistful quality to it. James would've latched onto it if he wasn't going through an interpersonal relations crisis at the moment. "It's just... How do you turn someone around once they're stubbornly against you?" James sighed.

"Dunno, everyone loves me." James could tell Sirius was grinning on the other side. "Yeah, they do." James agreed, feeding Sirius' ego a bit, but he'd seen him at his lowest, he much prefers Sirius at his highest.

There was a faint noise on the other side of the line, followed by a muted "save me a seat!" from Sirius.

"Got plans?" James inquired, jumping at the opportunity to stop thinking about the miserable atmosphere on set. He could hear Sirius let out a small sigh, "Yeah, having breakfast with the crew in the morning. The usual."

James really envied him in that moment. "I really miss that, how close you get with the people working on set with you. Don't get me wrong, this is great, really. I just wish my brain could fit over a hundred names in there because I am struggling to keep up." he let himself complain a little bit. It was Sirius' influence, being able to complain, he never used to do that before, instead just bottling things up while telling himself everything was fine.

"James, no one's going to blame you for forgetting the name of one of the ten camera people present." Sirius assured him. "Fifteen, actually." James corrected and Sirius audibly flustered over the phone.

"Whoa-what? Fifteen? Really? Where do you even fit them on set? Is it like survival of the fittest?" Sirius joked and James chuckled. "A little bit, honestly. They're on rotation, apparently, the director can tell by the way they frame shots and their movement which ones will be the best to have on set for that day." James explained.

"Wicked, and who'd you say the director was?" Sirius question. It was probably a low chance he'd get to work with them in the future, but you never know. Always good to keep an eye out for professional opportunities. "Uhm... Kingsley Shacklebolt? First I've heard of him, but he's brilliant. He's like a master strategist out there." James thought about it and could not for the life of him imagine where they found the man.

"Yeah, doesn't ring a bell. Sounds like they made a good call though." Sirius hummed. "You know what else was a good call? This." James joked and was rewarded with Sirius laughing.

"Yeah, yeah, it was. Call you tomorrow?" Sirius prompted and they said their very dramatic goodbyes. "Already miss you." "Don't you always?"

Sirius made it down to breakfast to someone very quickly becoming his second best friend. He was reading a book over his coffee, something James would never be caught doing. They had barely anything in common, yet Sirius gravitated to both of them. They both had a quick wit, although James veered on inappropriate while Remus was simply all sarcasm and talking back.

"Decided to grace us with your presence?" Remus greeted, without even looking up from his page. Sirius could help the smile already. "Grace is correct, I am a blessing." He flipped his hair as he sat down.

"Where's my coffee?" He looked around the table. "I assume it's still in the coffee machine." Remus mused, still not looking his way, instead looking quite unbothered in his seat.

"You know how to make it." Sirius argued, pouting. Remus finally lifted his gaze to meet his before countering, "So do you."

They held their staring contest for a while, both being too stubborn to break it. Sirius always thought their little spats were fun. He liked how they could bicker and then go completely back to normal, knowing the biting remarks really held no weight.

"So do I." Pandora piped up and Remus broke eye contact first to look in her direction. She stood up from the table. Sirius looked at her going over to the beverages section, before turning back to the table and catching Remus' less than impressed gaze, eyebrow raised. "Real blessing, you are."

"Oh, piss off." Sirius swatted the air in his direction. Remus went back to his reading and Sirius watched him until Pandora came back. "Thank you~" Sirius cooed at her, now a cup in hand, and she ruffled his hair.

"If you want me to also be your PA, you'll have to reflect that in my pay." she replied in a sing-song voice. "Duly noted." Sirius sang back.

Sirius' eyes drifted towards Remus, as they tended to do these days, to find him smiling slightly. He loved that, the silent approval. He liked just seeing it on Remus' face, in the minute details of his features. It was like a treat. He didn't quite understand it when they first came to the location, but it wasn't the way Remus was looking at him, he looked like that at others as well, Sirius made a point to observe that. No, it wasn't him, it was the way that made Sirius feel all warm inside.

Sirius' moral compass normally went haywire as if the blade of Damocles was swinging above it. Remus made it settle down, finally pointing north, and yeah, Sirius liked taking a pair of scissors and making it stray, just to see the pointer arrow wiggle a little bit until Remus decided to set it back.

Sirius liked seeing just how much he could get away with. Exploring where the boundaries and standards of Remus Lupin really lied. He liked testing if they fluctuated depending on the setting. He really enjoyed just how wide they got when they were alone.

Sirius nudged him under the table with his foot, which earned him a questioning look and pushed back against him, returning the gesture. Sirius loved that too, how they'd go along with him, no questions asked. He grinned at him, giving his leg one last tap before standing up and going to get breakfast.

Sirius took a tray and a plate and started assembling today's mystery meal. He reached for a pear, a Greek yoghurt, toast and a small container of honey to spread on top, he nabbed a packet of butter to pull it all together. His eyes caught on the desert tray and his eyes got a wicked glint to them. He chose violence that day.

He returned to the table with his assortment of food and sat down smugly. He didn't miss the way Remus' gaze caught onto the brownie off on a smaller platter on the tray.

Sirius relished in the way he glanced at the cake throughout his breakfast. Once he was done with his main meal, he brought the platter close to himself and lifted his teaspoon. He dug into it and had to admit it was quite good, but it didn't compare to the desperate look on Remus' face as he looked at him just eating the brownie right in front of his face.

Sirius was aware he was trying to keep his composure and resolve about not succumbing to the temptations of a sweet treat. Sirius had no qualms about taunting him about that, though. He dug his spoon into it and held it out for Remus in an offering. In response, Remus gave him a sharp kick under the table and Sirius wheezed, eating the bite himself.

Sirius was delighted every time Remus put him back in line. It was probably a result of his upbringing and he would rather not dwell on that. Normally, he'd dislike people disciplining him, but Remus had a way of doing it that didn't make him feel like a failure for making the mistakes, rather, it just made him feel like a human that was allowed to be imperfect. Sirius liked being imperfect, imperfections were freedom, perfection was rigid, unattainable, everything his family strove for. He couldn't stand that environment.

Then again, once in a while (on at least a weekly basis) Sirius would check how Regulus was doing and every time it was nothing short of perfection. He succeeded in being the son Sirius could never be. He resented him for it a little bit, in the deepest crevices of his soul, he was envious that he succeeded where he failed, but he was also proud. Oh, Sirius was so proud of his little brother for making the best out of the situation and thriving in it. He was proud of each and every role he landed, and even more proud when seeing his performances, and he watched every single one. Even when it made him cry... and it made him cry often. Not only was his brother estranged from him, the roles he chose to portray were absolutely heartbreaking. He had a penchant for playing angst-filled characters in the midst of tragedy and Sirius hated it, because he always hoped he'd see his brother smile in them. He never did, not really. They were all fake. Yes, acting was fake, but he knew how his brother looked when he was happy and this wasn't it. He was doing good, he was excelling in his career, but he wasn't really happy and it broke Sirius that he couldn't fix it.

He stared at his last bite of the brownie and felt a light nudge on his leg. He looked up to see Remus watching him with concern showing up on his face. Sirius nudged him back and smiled at him. He found that it wasn't a forced smile. That was another thing about Remus Lupin, he made everything better just by caring. Many people said they cared, but with Remus it was all or nothing, he could either shrug something off and let it be or care about it with the strength of a thousand suns... or moons in this scenario. When Sirius discovered he fell into the latter category, something in him mended. Remus Lupin seeing something worthwhile in him, it was an absolution.

Sirius had felt scrubbed raw after his little breakdown at sunset. After the crisp night air hit him, he had suddenly regretted being vulnerable and wanted it to put it behind him, literally running away from the problems he unearthed on that slate wall. He didn't quite succeed at that, those issues would either follow him to his grave or until he resolved them, whichever came first. Remus made it a little easier to deal with, not by doing anything, actually by doing nothing. Sirius put so much on him and he acted like nothing changed.

Remus Lupin was a miracle on two legs. How he could just brush past that and accept all the mistakes Sirius had made, he had no idea, but he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He would normally conduct a thorough dental inspection of the equine present, but he didn't want to push it with Remus Lupin, lest he make him realise that he wanted nothing to do with him. That thought gave him a start.

They went to their shoot for the day. Sirius was expecting it to go the same as always; easy, it had always been easy with Remus. Sirius was sorely mistaken. He had never had personal relationships affect him before. Until now. He looked at Will and saw Remus. He forgot lines while looking into his eyes. He wanted to smile when the scene didn't call for it. His mind was a mess that was currently chanting Remus Lupin's name like a mantra.

"Can we take five?" Sirius requested after Marlene cut yet another shot early. Marlene nodded, having clearly noticed one of her leads feeling off. "Fifteen, everyone." she called and the crew dispersed.

"Are you okay?" Remus Lupin, the miracle that he was, was concerned. Sirius would normally appreciate it, but right now, that was precisely the problem. "Yeah, yeah, just need to go clear my head." Sirius dismissed.

"Want me to come with?" Remus offered. Sirius wanted to kiss him for how sweet he was being. No, not going there. He's doing this too fast, he always gets invested too quickly. He shook his head, "No, just need to be alone for a while. See you back on set."

He walked outside and took a deep breath. The warm countryside air filled his lungs and sunlight hit his skin. He wasn't sure if the good weather was helping him center himself or if it was making him feed into his delusions more. He was doing it again, he attached himself onto a person, poured all of himself into it and then found out that he scared them away by being too intense. He was always too much too fast. He was going to put all the eggs in one basket and watch as the basket got put out with the rubbish. He couldn't do that again.

He was already imagining what could happen and it was scary. Why had no one stopped him from calling Remus on the regular? Why did they let him come over to his place and have tea and listen to records? Why did they let him start counting on Remus being there? Why did they let them get close physically?

He was going to get burnt. He was always going to get burnt. It always starts out too good to be true, it genuinely is that good. Then reality knocks on your door and you realise you've fooled yourself into overlooking every warning sign and suddenly you're back to square one, just a little more jaded than before.

"Sirius, breathe." Pandora's voice cut him out of his fog. The white noise in his ears subsided and he became aware of his body again. He tried to calm his breaths, but they came to him in harsh and fast, and irregular waves. It was like he forgot how to do that normally. Pandora walked into his view, looking into his eyes. He latched onto them. "Come on, with me. In through the nose," she inhaled, Sirius followed suit, "out through the mouth."

Sirius breathed with Pandora until he finally felt like he could do it on his own. From then he did the little exercises his therapist taught him. They helped. He just needed to have a clear enough mind to remember what they were. Pandora rubbed soothing circles into his back. Sirius really appreciated her. No matter how much of a whirlwind he was, she was always calm. Pandora had this relaxing aura about her that just set Sirius at ease. Sure, it could lean into aloof at times, but Sirius needed someone who was serene when he was chaotic.

Sirius thanked her and she inspected him. "What's this about, hmm? Something I can help with?" she asked and Sirius was suddenly hit with a wave of shame.

It was always the emotional stress that really affected his body, it sucked to explain. He could worry about work or finances or making big life decisions, but in the end, the thing that made him spiral into anxiety attacks was interpersonal relations. Always that.

They had a cancer scare with Effie a few years back and Sirius spent the whole day feeling nauseous, unable to move or eat, curled up on the sofa going through hot and cold flashes for hours. He hated how easily news like that could destroy him. He wanted to be there for the people he loved in their time of need, but he just cared so much that it destroyed him from the inside out. Effie ended up having a benign tumor, which was removed shortly afterwards, but Sirius was still out of commission for the whole day.

"I'm-" Sirius swallowed, "It's too quick again. I'm not thinking clearly." He shook his head, trying to dispel the thoughts. As if maybe he tried hard enough, he could take his feelings back.

"Darling, about what?" Pandora prodded, because he wasn't giving her a straight answer. He swallowed, well, since he let it get this bad, he might as well admit it.

"I have feelings for Remus." Sirius closed his eyes and braced for impact. It was quiet, so Sirius opened his eyes to look at his agent. Pandora smiled at him sweetly, "I know."

"You know?" he questioned. "Please, Sirius, you look at him as if he hung the moon." she explained. Sirius' lips twitched upwards involuntarily.

"Do you think that's bad?" he asked, looking out onto the fields that have become quite familiar to him over these past weeks. "It's... less than ideal, sure." Pandora started.

"But sometimes people just click. I think you two did." she carried on. Sirius' thoughts banged around his head. "You don't think we're too close?"

"I think you depend on each other a lot, but you're both out of your usual environment." Pandora answered. Sirius dropped his gaze. "You think it won't last." he surmised.

"It can," Pandora disagreed, "all somethings start from nothing."

Sirius sat with that for a minute. He thought back to the first time he had met James, sitting in a waiting room with his father, itching to get into the audition room. He tried to make friends with everyone around him and was met with mixed reception.

Sirius was part of the Noble House of Black and therefore was taught to not fraternise with anyone waiting to audition. Sirius was also Sirius, so he jumped at the opportunity to break whatever rule was laid out before him.

James was the exact opposite of what the people, with whom he was supposed to affiliate himself, were meant to be. James was rambunctious, expressive and friendly. He was everything Sirius was trying to be at the time. Birds of a feather flock together and those two were cut from the same cloth.

James had also been no one to him once upon a time, now he was everything. He was his brother, not by blood, but by choice. Some would argue (Sirius included) that choosing someone was more valuable than being stuck with them by arbitrary connections.

"Just," Pandora began, cutting him out of his thoughts once more. "don't get your hopes up too high. I know you're infatuated, but keep it friendly until we come back." he requested and Sirius nodded.

Sirius felt his whole body shudder with nerves. Oh, this hadn't helped at all. "Could you get my meds?"

"Go sit by the refreshment table, I'll bring it with some tea." Pandora offered him a gentle smile.

Sirius thanked her before coming back inside. He kept his gaze on the ground. He knew that if he looked up, he'd seek Remus out and not help his case in the slightest. He'd feel better for the time being, maybe, but the issue would persist.

Sirius wanted nothing more to be able to dial his feelings back and build a purely platonic basis on which he could build a relationship with Remus. Unfortunately, he was himself and that was something he was incapable of doing. He wanted to throw away his rose-coloured glasses and just see Remus as a friend. He would be a wonderful friend. He could be a wonderful friend, if only Sirius didn't wish Remus could be someone he'd be free to feel with. Someone he didn't have to hold back from.

Sirius needed to get a grip.

A teacup clinked on a platter next to him on the table. He recognised the pill lying against the base of the cup.

"Thank you." He raised the teacup to his lips and slipped the pill in alongside the tea surreptitiously. The immediate relief was a Placebo effect, but he already felt better just knowing he didn't need to deal with the chemical reactions happening inside him all on his own.

Remus tried not to worry, he really did. The moment Sirius went out, he cracked open the book he was currently reading and tried to make progress. Tried was the key word in both of these scenarios. The sentences were just scrambles of incoherent words. The paragraphs were just walls of texts on the pages.

Sirius was out of it today, a little bit before the set and then definitely on set. At the same time, he didn't set off any major alarm bells in Remus' head. He had been distracted, not as in it as it usually was, but underneath it, he was smiling, like he just found everything funny.

Remus ended up putting the book down, admitting defeat on his reading endeavor. He meandered over the set, acquiring a cup of tea along the way until he settled next to Arabella.

Remus was no stranger to silly moods, but when Sirius came back with Pandora, his eyes were glued to the ground the entire time. Every muscle in his body was trying to rip itself away from the stagnant position and go over to him.

In the end, Remus settled on watching him as he continued his conversation with Arabella, who was very kindly giving him the rundown on how she had first started working on film sets. Apparently, it all started with photoshoots, doing makeup for brides, there was always work in that, then it was just event makeup, campaigns. She had begun doing runways and then got some opportunities working on editorials. It was during those that she fell in love with special effects. She said it had felt like magic to just be able to add to a face, not just paint on it.

Remus was a good listener. He had plenty of practice in it, even while not looking at someone, he could still catch what the person was saying, probably even better than when he was making an effort to make his active listening apparent. The words registered in his brain the same way the image of Sirius did, drinking tea across the room with a bit of a dazed look on his face.

Remus momentarily took his gaze off the man to make sure Arabella knew he did hear. "It does open up a whole realm of possibilities, doesn't it?" he mused and she rewarded him with a brilliant smile.

He spent the rest of the break like that, checking on Sirius from far away while listening to Arabella gush about Doctor Who and how she would love to get to work on some aliens for once. Maybe someday she'd get her wish.

Once they were back on set Remus spoke in a low voice, "Better?" He checked Sirius' eyes for any signs he wasn't doing well. They were just as gray as they had always been, maybe a little more tired than usual, but everyone was allowed their off days. Sirius nodded, "Yeah, better, Moony." His lips quirked up for just a moment, but then it was gone.

Remus really missed that smile. They had gone through filming, it was definitely closer to what they had before, but a part of him told him that it was different, something wasn't the same. It wasn't anything tangible, so Remus could really corroborate with anything, but Sirius felt off.

Once they were finished for the day, they went to change back in the wardrobe. Sirius of course only had to take his makeup off and switch clothes, but Remus also had to have Arabella remove the scars on his face. Sirius normally waited for him and Remus was rooting on him doing so again. He didn't know how he would keep him if he chose not to that day.

Sirius went back out of the changing compartment with his set clothes neatly folded in his hands. He left them in his seat and finally looked at Remus, who was watching him the entire time.

"I think I'm going to have an early night." Sirius announced and Remus felt his chest squeeze. Arabella, the godsend that she is, was finished with her part. "You know I'm here for you, right?" Remus prompted.

Sirius dropped his gaze and joked softly, "No, Moony, you're here to play a part." The smile didn't quite reach his eyes. The comment shot a pang of pain through Remus' chest, it was really getting a beating today. Sirius made a move to leave, but Remus caught his shoulder before he could do so.

"Pads, that wasn't funny." he informed him. Sirius had that tired look in his eye again. "Oh, no, it's the humour police." Sirius mocked him.

Remus' worrying was heightened by the fact that Sirius would barely even look at him. Remus slid his hand from his shoulder to the side of his neck. He used his thumb to press into the side of Sirius' chin and tilt it towards himself. Their gazes finally locked together.

"Do we have a problem?" Remus asked sternly, but his thumb brushed along his jaw gently. He could feel Sirius' pulse under the palm of his hand. He watched Sirius part his lips to reply. The 'no' was a little breathless. Honestly, Remus was a bit transfixed himself.

That lasted until Sirius cleared his throat, "No, Moony, we're alright." His voice was more even this time. "Good." Remus replied and had half a mind to bring his hand back.

Sirius felt like he could breathe normally again. God, what the hell was he doing? Of course, Remus would notice him pulling away. He had never been very skilled at keeping his emotions in check.

A part of him was glad Remus didn't let him get in a mood. He could go sulking for weeks if left unchecked. He just didn't exactly know what it meant to keep it strictly platonic anymore. He was doubting what crossed the line of friendship and what was still within its confines.  He thought maybe if he tried to distance himself, frame it as purely professional, it might be easier, but Sirius had already made the bed, he might as well lay in it. In this case, that meant being close with Remus Lupin. He could have made worse beds, to be honest. 

Remus smiled at him and Sirius felt himself smile back instinctively. Remus saw his eyes light up just the tiniest amount, but it was enough for him.

"Get some rest, Padfoot." Remus patted him on the head and left to go get changed himself. "See you tomorrow, Moony." Sirius called and made his way out.

As the sun's rays hit his skin, the realisation dawned on Sirius.

He was already way in over his head.

Chapter Text

The following two weeks of shooting felt like a blur. The days weaved together into the indistinguishable fabric of time. No longer having Gruffudd on set after the full moon was sort of disappointing for Sirius, but he managed to get through it somehow. 

"Just wish I could've said goodbye to him, you know? Probably won't see the little guy afterwards." Sirius pouted, his head lying in Remus' lap on the swing outside the hotel. "Yeah, probably." Remus had replied sympathetically at that time, but the idea had already been planted in his head. It took root as he watched the sad look in his eyes. It bloomed when he reassured Sirius and his expression cleared.

On the last day of filming, his plan was finally bearing fruit.

"And that's a wrap." Marlene announced for the last time. Remus' chest squeezed at that. This was always the hard part. Being done with the project until he found another gig. It officially started at that moment.

"Thank you all for being a part of the project, I couldn't have done it without any of you. Each and every single one." Her gaze swept across the floor across the team.

"This was a pleasure and I wish our editing team a very fruitful few months!" Some cheers went up at that. "Oh, and we have one last surprise." She walked towards the door and held it open. 

It was mere seconds before Gruffudd ran in, standing in the middle of the circle of people, tail wagging excitedly. He jumped around, his eyes zeroing in on Sirius, who was still staring in shock. He crouched down just as the wolf threw himself in his direction.

"Aww, missed you too, bud." Sirius ruffled Gruffudd's fur. He looked up at their director with a beaming smile.,"Thanks, Marlene." She glanced at Remus, who nodded slightly.

"Don't mention it." She accepted the praise in his stead. It didn't matter who got the verbal validation, just seeing Sirius happy was enough for Remus. He had someone to thank though.

The crew began mingling amongst themselves, the equipment being carefully put away as everyone clocked out for the last time. Remus slipped out amongst the chatter and made his way over to the van, where John was smoking a cigarette. Once he saw him approach, he shuffled around his pockets before producing a box and offering it to Remus, who held up a hand to stop him.

"Thanks, I quit." he declined with a small smile and John pocketed the pack of cigs. Remus then held out his hand for the man. "Thanks for doing this, I know you didn't have to." Remus said over the handshake.

"Ehh, the pup missed him anyway. Grown real attached to 'im real quick." John admitted. "Yeah, Sirius did too." Remus smiled, looking out into the countryside one last time. They'd be leaving the next day. It all felt very melancholic to him now, how he wished he didn't have to leave. It was never about the place though.

"Gruff's gonna be a star." John mused, he seemed proud. "He already is." Remus agreed, he had also grown fond of the wolf over the course of filming.

A wolf whistle cut through the air and their heads turned towards the sound. Sirius came out of the building grinning from ear to ear, Gruffudd following at his heel, the well-trained dog that he was.

Remus stood by and watched as Sirius took over his job of thanking John for bringing Gruffudd over. He told him that if he was ever in the area again, he should feel free to use him as a dog-sitter. Remus continued watching as Sirius said his (slightly tearful) goodbyes to Gruffudd, which Remus only punctuated with inviting John to come celebrate with them if he wished to.

John got into the truck with Gruffudd to take him back to the sanctuary, leaving Remus and Sirius standing alone in the driveway. It was quiet until the vehicle disappeared from sight.

"Were you actually just going to let me believe Marlene was the one that got him to come?" Sirius asked and Remus shrugged. There wasn't any point in denying it, he hadn't planned on hiding it anyway, just sort of turned out that way. "I think so." he hummed. There would be no harm done with that outcome.

"You're infuriating sometimes." Sirius huffed and tugged him down by his wrist to face him so he could wrap his arms around him. Remus hugged him back instinctively. This one felt different though, closer. "It was just a phone call." Remus tried to play it off.

Sirius leaned back to level him with a look, eyebrows poised in a doubtful manner. Remus could still see the spark in his eyes from how happy he was to get to say his goodbyes and found himself completely unremorseful. His smile must have been getting to Sirius, because his expression softened gradually, until he was just looking at Remus as if he hung the moon.

They were so close. It would only take them leaning in-

"Are you two coming back or should we take the party outside?" Marlene called out to them. They seemed to remember themselves and put a friendly distance between them once more. "We'll be right there!" Sirius called back.

They made their way back towards the building, the sounds of chatter growing closer as they made it just shy of the door.

"Moony," Sirius tugged on his sleeve before they stepped back inside. Remus turned to him, his heart picking up despite himself. Sirius looked anxious for the first time since Remus knew him. "I know I all but glued myself to you on set, but if you'd like to keep in touch after we return, give me a call, okay?"

Remus looked at him curiously. He hadn't been this confused in a while. "What are you on about?" he questioned. Sirius looked almost distressed. "I know we're co-workers, but if you'd like to be friends..." he trailed off.

Remus would have laughed if he didn't sound genuinely unsure. "Pads, we are friends," he assured him, "I don't tend to spend my days off with just co-workers." Remus squeezed his shoulder.

"Now, come on. The crew's starting the party without us." he beckoned and looked away. He couldn't keep looking into his eyes while Sirius looked at him with unabashed awe. "Not without me, they're not." Just like that, Sirius Black was back to himself.

The party was probably the most fun Remus had ever had at a work event. That was of course due to the people. Not only Sirius, but Marlene, Pandora and Arabella as well. Remus couldn't lie and say that Sirius wasn't the most fun part about it. He was another thing altogether. The way he let loose was just unmatched, Remus could hardly take his eyes off him the entire night. The way his hair swung over his shoulders in waves always half a step behind his every move. Even parts of Sirius could keep up with himself. Remus thought that if he really wanted to, he could have become a rockstar. He probably was one in another life. Even in this one, Remus had heard Sirius sing and, although he was biased, he thought he was rather good. Maybe he wasn't Freddie Mercury himself, but he could definitely carry a tune.

The thing Sirius had in droves was star power, he was the life of the party and he knew it. Even Remus, who would usually enjoy conversations over dancing, was dragged out to sway with him. He was life personified, the joy of being alive radiated off him in waves and Remus felt like he had been withering away his entire life. He was parched and Sirius was an oasis in the desert. Every time Remus drank, he was wondering if he was just a mirage. Maybe he had been imagining him this entire time, but he blinked his eyes, he turned around and glanced back, and there he was, still there, still real.

It didn't matter that their music was played from a single boombox and their dancefloor was a piece of the room they made by pushing furniture out of the way. It didn't matter that their lights were just a movie projector that was playing some generic colourful scenes. It was taped together with the bonds they forged over the course of filming and that was what made it special.

What was special was the way the projection hit Sirius eyes and made the patterns in his irises dance before him. Sirius held out his hand out to Remus, who took it and Sirius led them into a jig around the makeshift marley. Their hands clasp together on one side, Sirius' hand on his waist, while Remus held his on his shoulder. Remus was so sure, when Sirius dipped him, that he would be dropped to the floor, but he wasn't. His stomach had dropped, but he hadn't. He was pulled back upright with Sirius beaming at him.

"Been planning to do that, haven't you?" Remus teased and Sirius winked back at him. "It was a 50-50 on whether you'd fall or not. I liked my odds." he informed him with an impish grin.

Remus laughed at that. "You're a glass half full kind of guy?" He raised his hand and let him twirl around under it. Sirius smiled back cockily, "Until I finish it."

Remus grinned in response. Of course, Sirius would drink from the glass, even in metaphors, the world was his. It was Sirius' world and Remus was just glad to be part of it.

Remus Lupin needed a drink.

Granted, in that moment he drank something non-alcoholic, but it wasn't the norm for the rest of the evening. After that, the whole night felt little fuzzy, he remembered what happened that night, but the chain of events felt a little tangled. The logic was a Shroedinger's cat, there, but also not as he went through the motions.

He probably shouldn't have been surprised that when he woke up the next morning, it was with a massive, glaring headache and a sleeping Sirius in his bed. Remus stirred in the sheets and the body of warmth next to him didn't seem out of the ordinary until he actually came to.

When his arm rose with Sirius' breath, Remus stilled. Sirius only snuggled closer to him, "Morning, Moons." His voice was still thick with sleep. Remus was not impolite, so he replied, "G'morning," and only then proceeded to ask, "What are you doing in my bed?"

"You weren't this suspicious last night." Sirius mumbled into his shoulder. "I didn't have a migraine last night." Remus countered.

Sirius wasn't having his attitude, so he wiggled instead. "Well, I didn't cause your migraine. Don't blame me for your bad decisions." he reminded him.

"Oh, so that wasn't you asking me to split a Jack Daniel's with you?" Remus rubbed a hand against his forehead. "No, that was me. I was counting on you not remembering that." Sirius grinned, seemingly doing much better with his certain headache.

Remus' migraine was making itself very present and he remembered what their initial topic was. "So how'd you get here?" He brought them back on track. Sirius was a master at distraction, but he couldn't distract him from the effects of the previous night. "We have to go back today, James is still in America for another month, 's going to feel lonely." Sirius explained, still a little drowsy as he nuzzled into the pillow.

"You sleep with your brother?" Remus questioned. Sirius had an answer ready for that, "He's my best friend, sleepovers are like the best thing."

"Don't you live in the same house?" Remus followed up. Sirius honest-to-god put his index finger on his mouth. "Shush, you're ruining the whimsy."

"Is it really that whimsical?" Remus raised his eyebrows speaking over the finger. "Yeah, it is if you make it." Sirius yawned and retreated his hand to cover his mouth.

"Have you never had one?" Sirius questioned. "Nah, not really. Crashed at a friends' place, but it wasn't a thing." Remus stifled a yawn with his hand.

"I would gasp and say that it's preposterous, but I had my first sleepover at eighteen and never left." Sirius brushed it off. Remus got intrigued at that. "You'd never snuck out before then?"

"Oh, I have." Sirius replied simply. "Just could never stay the whole night. Not a real sleepover."

Remus hummed in understanding. Sirius seemed content not to move for the foreseeable future, Remus did not share the sentiment. Sirius was way too hot for both of them being under the covers and so close together. Remus could feel his body starting to sweat under the sheets.

"Alright, sod off." he instructed. In turn, Sirius gasped theatrically, "Are you throwing me out of bed?" He put on his best appalled expression.

"Yeah, I am, you're too hot." Remus pushed him away and Sirius grinned, "Tell me something I don't know."

"Oh, you're insufferable this early." Remus covered his face with his hands. He hadn't realised how much the light had bothered his eyes until he sheltered them from it. He finally felt his temperature start to return to normal when Sirius rolled away from him. "If I bring you an aspirin, will I be more sufferable?" he suggested.

Remus peeked from behind his fingers. "Leagues." he confirmed and went back to the darkness his hands provided.

Sirius crawled out of bed and shivered at the loss of warmth Remus' bed (and the man himself) provided. He threw on a jacket, not really paying attention to whose it was on the hanger and padded out onto the hallway.

He waddled over all the way to Pandora's door and knocked on it sheepishly. She opened the door, fully composed, Sirius didn't know what hour it was, but apparently late enough. She took one look at him and smiled slyly.

"Is this a PR mess I'll have to clean up?" She nodded to the jacket, Sirius only then realised it wasn't his, very obviously so. Remus and him had completely different styles. "No." He denied, but his cheeks grew hot. Pandora knew all about Sirius' hopeless infatuation with the man, arguing with her about it would be pointless. She did tell him to wait until they were done with filming and now they were, but he didn't have the fight in him to say that while he was very much infatuated with Remus, he wasn't even sure if Remus was into men. Sure, his record collection gave him pause, but he couldn't profile him based on music taste, could he?

"Mhm, sure." she smiled her knowing, slightly aloof smile and retreated to her room. She returned to the doorway with a leaf of painkillers and pressed one out onto his hand. Sirius gave her a sheepish smile, "Could I have one for Remus as well?"

Another pill dropped into his palm and he was off before he could get teased to hell and back.

Once the pill got dropped into Remus' hand, he chuckled, "This had better not be drugs." Despite the comment, he took it without any further convincing.

"Nah, I'm a clean man. There's less access here than in Hollywood." Sirius shrugged, plopping down onto the mattress unceremoniously. He was sitting sideways to Remus on the edge of the bed, staring in to space in front of him. Remus looked at him funnily, "Are you serious?"

"I'm always Sirius." he leisurely leaned back on his hands. Remus watched him, unimpressed with the deflection. "Is that why you do productions here?" Remus asked, deciding to go ahead and ask. Sirius looked at the ceiling pensively, but kept quiet. Remus tried again from a different angle.

"I can't see how Hollywood wouldn't want you." he nudged Sirius in the leg and he smiled, "Oh, they definitely want me."

Remus was fine dropping it at that. He was curious, but he wasn't going to pry into sensitive topics if Sirius didn't want to. It's not as if knowing him for three months gave him any right, but he found himself often in the position of someone who listened.

"Among other things, yeah, that's why I'm here. I have an addictive personality. 'S what my therapist says anyway, advised me to steer clear, so I did." Sirius recounted pensively. He let out a small hum before turning to Remus. Their eyes locked.  'Yes, you have an addictive personality, it would be so easy to be addicted to you.' Remus' thoughts betrayed him and he shook them from his mind. He was supposed to be a good friend and right now he was being neither good, nor a friend.

Remus didn't really know how to begin, how to navigate this, this whole vulnerability thing Sirius seemed to be practising. "Well, for one, I'm glad you're here and not there." he offered.

Sirius smiled at him sweetly, "Yeah, me too." He laid back down, his back hitting the mattress and his head falling into Remus' lap. Sirius closed his eyes and sighed, content, as he brought his arms above his head and stretched across the whole bed, back arching from the mattress and Remus felt the full weight of him be moved to his lap for a moment. "Am I interrupting?" he questioned and Sirius slowly opened his eyes.

"No. Why would you think that?" Sirius smiled at him innocently. Remus was unimpressed. "Because I'm not a yoga mat?" he reminded Sirius, who smirked.

"Could've fooled me." he muttered and was promptly shoved off Remus' lap. He landed on his stomach with a mouthful of sheets. He pushed himself up onto his elbows and glared at Remus. "I was comfortable!" Sirius exclaimed indignantly.

Remus grinned, "Tough luck." He then threw his legs over the side of his bed and stood up. "I don't know about you, but I'd rather get something in my system before driving back to London." He gathered some clothes and got into the bathroom.

Sirius got back to his room and was reminded that in his procrastinating nature, he had left packing until the last possible moment, which was now. He scoffed at past Sirius for leaving him every chore imaginable. He changed and managed to get his luggage closed, even though it was a tight fit.

The day passed him too quickly. He wanted more time. He hadn't even appreciated the last dinner he had with Remus, it happened two days before and he thought he'd be able to repeat it yesterday, but the party happened earlier than he expected.

Remus, for the first time in the entire trip, didn't bring a book to breakfast. Sirius thought he would appreciate it, but then Remus actually caught him staring at him, because he had been. Remus tilted his head in question and Sirius shook his head, dropping his gaze to his coffee. What could he say in a moment like that? Sorry, I was busy connecting the freckles on your cheeks and wondering if I could find Canis Major in them, so that way I would know you always had me with you? Sirius wanted to smack some sense into himself.

Breakfast was a blur. It breezed by, the time spilling through the gaps between Sirius' fingers as he tried to hold it in his hands. It had meant so much to him, this experience, this role, spending time with Remus, it felt special. He wanted to cherish it. 

Suddenly, they were standing in the car park, their luggage already packed in the trunks of their cars. Sirius leaned back with Remus against his car, their shoulders touching. Sirius looked everywhere, trying to memorise the moment.

None of them smoked. Sirius wished he did just so he would have the excuse to dawdle and hang around for longer. Remus let out a big sigh.

"Guess I'd better get going." he spoke softly into the air and Sirius pushed himself up into standing, he turned and watched Remus do the same, although it seemed like he was dragging his feet, as if he was dreading leaving as well. Once he straightened, Sirius wrapped his hands around his torso and felt two arms settle around his shoulders. "This isn't goodbye." Remus whispered and squeezed him.

"I know." Sirius whispered into the fabric of his shirt. Remus knew it wouldn't be the same, nothing would be the same as spending the entire day together, shooting the breeze, getting to know each other, laughing while sitting in a patch of grass and seeing fireflies for the first time. It wouldn't be stargazing along the faint trail of the Milky Way, it wouldn't be drinking their morning coffee together and it would be racing back to the hotel after they stayed out late.

"Call me when you get home safe?" Sirius asked and Remus pulled back to look at him one last time. "Course." he replied, ruffling his hair affectionately.

Sirius stood there to the side as he watched Remus pull out of the car park and drive out onto the road. He felt a little numb, like a piece of him just left along with Remus. A hand on his shoulder startled him from his thoughts. He jumped and swirled his head to see Pandora.

"We should get going too." she informed him and Sirius gave a nod. He looked out in the direction he'd seen Remus' car last.

Back to normal life they went.

Chapter Text

Remus drove back down the road, the fields sprawling on either side of him. The radio trickled on in the background, but his mind was elsewhere. It was too quiet. Remus wished Sirius was in the passenger seat, rattling off about anything and everything.

He would probably be the person to sit up and point "Cow!", "Sheep!" or "Horse!" when he'd pass one. He'd probably refuse to put his seat belt in and Remus would stay in place with the engine off until he did. Despite that, he probably wouldn't sit straight. No, Remus imagined he wouldn't, he'd probably put his feet in Remus' lap. Remus would let him of course, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other one on his ankles. He'd play with the hem of his jeans as he listened to Sirius humming along to the radio.

Remus glanced at the passenger side. Right. He was driving home alone. There were no legs in his lap and no one was singing along to Freddie on the radio.

The hours passed him by like the views outside the car window. He had so much to think about, he normally avoided his mind like a plague. The books helped, if he was in them, then he wasn't in his own brain. However, all he could do in that long moment was think. His mind was set on playing the most memorable snippets of the past month.

His mind wandered back to the third night of their shooting, after they filmed the party scenes and Sirius dragged him out of that house bustling with people. There were still some of them outside, but Sirius took off running as soon as his boots hit soil instead of the kitchen tiles. He had been crowded by the extras. They had swooned all over him, praising his work and whatnot. Remus thought he would love it, Sirius thrived on attention. He did, on the first day, Remus liked the way he blushed at the praise, practically glowing under all that admiration. Remus was content to just sit back and let his co-star be fawned over, he deserved it, for as long as Remus has been trying to make it in the industry, Sirius was out there actually making it. The fruits of the labour he produced over a decade came knocking on his door.

Remus' lungs burned as they made it towards the edge of the woods. Sirius leaned back against the nearest tree, panting with exertion. Remus also tried catching his breath.

"Why did we run here?" Remus wheezed out and Sirius looked at him, eyes twinkling like twin stars as he let out a laugh. "I cannot take another 'I've been a fan of yours since I was ten'." Sirius closed his eyes, head falling back against the tree trunk.

Remus chuckled and coughed from the dryness inside his chest. "Why did I run here?" He rested his hands on his knees. He wasn't as spry as he was at nineteen and no longer ran everywhere. Sirius did not seem as unfamiliar with running as he was. "Good question." he grinned at him mischievously.

Of course, this was Sirius Black's fault. "Why'd you grab me?" Remus accused, glaring at him from behind the hair falling in his eyes. Sirius shrugged, "I didn't want to stand here all by myself."

Remus was going to kill him someday. He narrowed his eyes at him and rose to his full height again, his breathing coming back to normal. He leaned against the same tree, placing his hand ring next to Sirius' head as he leaned over him. Sirius looked up at him expectantly, not at all concerned with their proximity. Remus needed this to land.

"I've been a fan of yours since I was ten." he could barely say that without smiling. Remus watched the scowl creep onto Sirius' features. "I hate you." he scoffed.

"Should've asked me to come here at my own pace." Remus pushed himself off the tree. Sirius' smile overtook the frown as he shot him a playful look, "Now, where's the fun in that?"

Remus would remember that moment for the rest of his life. Sirius was beaming at him. Then, his eyes shifted the side, widening, his smile faltering slightly as his jaw dropped. Remus followed his gaze and saw fireflies buzzing about not far from them.

"Wanna go catch some?" Remus offered and Sirius looked at him, eyes blown wide in panic. It reminded him of when they first met, he looked positively spooked. "Won't that hurt them?" he asked and Remus' heart squeezed in his chest.

"No, they're very relaxed critters." Remus circled his fingers around Sirius wrist and tugged him away from the bark. He led them towards the glowing beetles. Sirius trailed slightly behind them for the first time ever.

When Remus dropped his wrist, Sirius just stopped, standing still and observing the creatures. Remus walked a couple of steps forward, cupping his hands and closing them around one of the bugs. He felt it flitter around the enclosed space before settling against his palm. He returned to Sirius, who was watching him, completely transfixed.

"Hold your hands out." Remus instructed softly and Sirius raised his hands silently, watching Remus. He cupped them before Remus could tell him to. He placed his own hands in Sirius' warm ones and slowly opened them, letting the lightning bug switch surfaces. He then placed his hand over Sirius' and guided it closed, so he held it just like Remus did moments before. He took his hand back and saw Sirius was still watching him

Sirius tore his eyes away from Remus to glance down at his hands with a little spot of weight in the middle of his palm. "Open when you're ready." he gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

Sirius looked at his palms as he slowly cracked the shell of his hands open. Inside was one small bug, crawling over the palms of his hand, glowing faintly.

"Aww, look at you." Sirius cooed, lifting his hands closer to his face to look at the firefly. "You're gorgeous." he complimented the little creature on his hand. The bug's light stuttered to life. Its wings unfurled and he fluttered away, Sirius watching its course.

Remus found himself smiling at the memory. He had watched as Sirius ran straight into the swarm of fireflies, twirling around trying to watch them all with such unbridled joy that Remus found it hard to do anything but stare.

Remus really needed to stop spacing out while driving, he was going to cause a car crash, even though there were barely any cars on the road.

Once he found himself under his flat building, he found that his usual parking spot was taken and then had to find a new one. He ended up walking for five minutes with his luggage trailing behind him. When he walked through his doorway, the familiar smell hit him. It always astounded him that any time he was away from for more than a week, he'd come back and the smell of home was unmistakable. He had carved that little space out for himself and he always felt welcomed back, even if it always was an empty flat.

He hung up his jacket and left the luggage by the door to be unpacked at a later date, which was probably this evening once he realised he needed to do the laundry. He threw himself onto his sofa and sighed.

Home sweet home.

He closed his eyes and listened to the soft ticking of the clock on the wall. The silence really stood out to him now. That was the only reason he straightened up from the sofa so quickly. He walked over to the record player and stared at his collection. He put on a decade-old Bowie record for no reason. No reason at all. And if he started Station to Station by playing the second track of Side One? That was also completely accidental.

While the vinyl played, he made tea and checked the time. He wanted to give Sirius ample time to get settled before he gave him a call to let him know he got home safe. Especially since knowing them, they would probably only get off the line if one of them had pressing time to take care of or until lights-out.

He called his work to check in. Alice picked up and asked him how shooting went, in turn, he inquired about how they managed over the last month. Apparently, Augusta, Frank's mother, had taken Neville in for a lot of the time so Frank and her could split the shifts between the two of them. Remus promised to take a lot of them back during the following weeks and offered to watch Neville if they ever wanted to go out. He really felt like he owned them.

By the time he had caught up with everything professionally, Remus put on the kettle once more. He had missed his kettle, he had missed his stove. The cheap electric one at the hotel could never compare. Once the second mug was steeping, he finally dialled the number for the Potters and with them, Sirius.

"Hello~" Sirius answered in a sing-song tone. "Hey, Padfoot." Remus greeted back.

"My Moony's safe in the sky again?" Sirius crooned and Remus rolled his eyes, because he could without Sirius seeing. "Hanging in there like I do every night." he replied.

Feeling the silliness catch onto him over the line, Remus added, "Are you comfy in your dog bed?" Sirius laughed. "Mhm, very much so." he hummed.

"Is that Mercury I hear over there?" Sirius questioned. "Missed hearing them." Remus agreed.

Sirius gave a dramatic sigh on the other end of the line. "Yeah, put the phone closer to him?" he asked. Remus chuckled, taking the receiver away from his face and angling it towards the gramophone in the corner. He indulged him and heard the faint sounds of Sirius humming along to the song through the phone.

Remus brought the phone back eventually.

"Aww, wish I could hear it in person." Sirius whined dramatically once he couldn't hear Mercury as well. Remus could imagine him sprawled out over whatever surface he was near at the moment. "Consider yourself welcome anytime." Remus offered, then remembered himself.

"As long as I'm here anyway. An empty flat wouldn't be a good host." he added hastily. Sirius chuckled on the other end. "It's not the flat I'd be most excited to see." he admitted and Remus felt himself grow hot. Was he always like this? Must have been, but now that his voice was right in his ear, it affected him more.

"Right, that'd be my record collection." Remus teased, willing his nerves to calm down. There was a small pause. "Yeah, exactly." Sirius agreed.

Sirius felt a pang in his chest when Remus brushed off his attempt at flirting. Okay, so maybe he needed to cool off a bit. Maybe he should back off with that for a bit.

With a heavy weight in his gut, Sirius carried the conversation until the evening. He ate dinner with his parents and that made him feel a little lighter. Even when the spiciness burned his throat, less than it did almost 8 years before, he was glad he was home.

His mattress was bouncier, his covers softer. Everything smelled like their laundry detergent and it was all comforting the ache in his bones, even when there was no one sleeping next to him on the mattress.

When he woke up the next day, it was to sunlight streaming through the windows and not an alarm clock. Last night he had Remus' arm around him when that happened, now he was alone under the covers, but at least he was home. He was beginning to wonder if that had been an equal exchange.

Once he had dragged himself out of bed, the house was empty, both Effie and Monty having already left for work in the morning. He walked over to the coffee machine and made himself his morning brew. When he poured the milk, it was eyeballing it more than anything. After the first splash, he stopped and looked at the shade. It was far less milk than he usually did, but the colour had made him halt his movement. It had reminded him of Remus' eyes, warm and brown circles. He lifted the cup to his lips.

The taste of the coffee was more pronounced. It wasn't bad, he could probably drink the whole mug. He took a second sip and grimaced. No, that would be pathetic, drinking the coffee just because it was the same colour as his eyes. He probably wasn't even interested in him, judging by the way he blew him off yesterday. He poured the milk in again and overshot it to the point it looked more like the way Remus made it than what he did. Great, he overshot it and still turned out pathetic. He drank the beverage angrily, hating that he liked the taste.

The first thing on Sirius' to-do list for his first day back in London was to call up a good friend.

"Mary, wanna meet up?" Sirius asked over the phone. "Oh, is that how it is? I bring you a job that you love and you don't call, don't write me love letters and now you come crawling back with your tail between your legs." Mary greeted, smile evident in her tone.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing, yes." Sirius nodded obediently and heard her laugh on the other side. "A whole month, Sirius." Mary repeated, sounding cross, as cross as she could ever be with him. That wasn't true, Mary could be furious with him.

"I didn't write out your number before going." Sirius admitted shamefully. Pandora had the phone number for their house and for James, but Sirius hadn't anticipated she wouldn't copy their whole phone book. Mary sighed on the other end of the line.

"And you don't know it by heart already? I'm wounded." Mary hummed, Sirius could already imagine her. One leg crossed over the other, looking over her nails which were definitely painted to perfection. Sirius looked down at his bare fingernails. He needed to ask her to paint them again.

"Yes, I'll forget my head one of these days. You, me, coffee and gossip?" Sirius proposed.

"Aww, my little star's out of the loop, is he?" Mary cooed over the line. Sirius grinned, "Yes, he is. Don't act like you haven't been itching to tell me."

"You'd better reserve the whole day for me. I have so much to catch you up on." Mary warned him and Sirius was beaming at the sheer promise of that statement. "Me too." Sirius replied, a smile taking over his features.

"Oh? Marlene that good of a director?" she inquired. Sirius couldn't wipe that grin off his face if he tried. "Something like that."

Chapter Text

When Sirius met Mary for coffee, she was already sitting inside waiting for him. He greeted her with a brilliant grin, just excited to talk to one of his best friends. Mary was a twin soul. Going with the flow, looking pretty and using charisma to seem unassuming. While they both excelled at flattery, she could give him a run for his money at collecting gossip.

She understood him in ways not many could.

He kissed her on the cheek in greeting, the glasses of his disguise pressing against her face, the frames digging into her temple. He hated doing this, but it was the least he could do to keep himself from immediately getting hounded by cameras. That and the truly abhorrent bucket hat he had to put up with for the sake of blending in. He excused himself to go place his order and returned to her table, with a fresh cup of hot chocolate in hand. The drink name had caught his eye while he stood in line and he battled with thoughts of Remus all the way to the register. How much he probably imagined every glance, every moment they shared together. How he imagined everything, all from the warmth of his arms around him to the way his fingers carded through his hair. How he imagined all of that the same way he imagined pushing himself up on his tiptoes and pressing their lips together. The same way he imagined how Remus might actually kiss him back, pulling him closer by the waist and he would wrap his-

"Good morning, welcome to Cup of Joey's. What would you like to order?" The cashier smiled at him politely. Sirius panicked, not having picked his order and choked out. "One hot chocolate, please."

That's what he got for daydreaming about a friend of his. A good friend. A new friend he would very much like to keep in his life. He would get over his feelings, he would have to.

Like that, Sirius took his seat opposite Mary, who eyed him funnily over the table. "You leave for one moment and come back having a crisis." She sipped her beverage pointedly. "Morning beverages make me ill." Sirius grumbled, taking the spoon and swirling his hot chocolate, as if that would help his case.

Mary's eyebrows shot up in amusement. "That's a new development." she smiled at him. "Are you hungover? Is that what it is?" She cooed at him with faux pity.

Sirius recoiled from the comment. "No! Just... they remind me of someone now." Sirius answered truthfully, rubbing his eyes behind his glasses. "Actually, the colour brown is just a taboo subject for me altogether." he sighed and when he looked at Mary, she seemed to be holding back a grin.

"I was going to lead with catching you up, but who are you so gone for?" she leaned forward, clearly invested. Sirius gave a dramatic sigh as he slinked back into his seat. "Remus Lupin." he answered and watched Mary's brows furrow.

"Who?" was her response and Sirius mentally prepared himself for the conversation. Right, Remus hadn't starred in that many things, people didn't know him. Just because he was important to him didn't mean he was important to everyone. "He was my co-star." and didn't that description feel inadequate. He was so so much more than a co-star.

Mary hummed in acknowledgement, a smirk pulling at her lips. "What's he like?" she inquired and Sirius resisted another sigh not to look like a forlorn teenager.

"He's..." He suddenly found himself at a loss of words. How does one encapsulate Remus Lupin? "He's a huge bookworm. Usually quiet, but when he says something it's bloody lethal. So quick-witted. You know how I am and he keeps up with me, genuinely honest-to-God banter like I've never had. And when he's not sharp, he's soft, he can be so gentle..." Sirius trailed off, a little lost in the eyes of the Remus his mind conjured up for him.

Mary let out a giggle. Sirius shook himself out of his stupor and gave his best attempt at sending a glare her way. Mary batted her hand at him, still quieting her laughter. "My goodness, you're hopeless. I meant: what does he look like?" she reiterated her question.

Sirius felt his cheeks burn at that. "Shallow." he spat in her direction and she just grinned at him. "I just wanted to know how to imagine him when you'll be talking my ear off about him for the foreseeable future." Mary took another sip of her coffee innocently. Sirius took a spiteful sip of his own. The hot chocolate was sweet and comforting on his tongue and it did not fuel his spite whatsoever, it had the opposite effect actually, it calmed him down.

"He's tall." Sirius started off and Mary made an affirmative sound, nodding encouragingly. "Tan skin with freckles from the sun." He continued, his fingers trailing over the smooth porcelain of his mug. "Light brown hair, little bit of a shag cut now that it's grown out a bit. Probably curly, but it's always in waves." Sirius looked down into his hot cocoa.

"Brown eyes. Not dark or light, just in the middle." He bit down on his lip to stop himself from looking like a fool. He looked like a fool regardless. "Build?" Mary followed up. Sirius gave a small snort before answering, "Lanky, like a spaghetti noodle."

Mary looked at him with her little contemplative smile. "Face." she prompted and Sirius exhaled through the nose, eyes widening, as if he was trying to plead with her. He was trying to avoid thinking about Remus as a whole, it was easier when he was just inspecting parts, more like he was admiring them individually, than having to admit they made one coherent person. "Long? I guess? He's just soft? The cheekbones and jaw are there, but they're mostly covered up by his cheeks. Strong eyebrows. Roman nose with a cute bump in the middle of it that he rubs when he's thinking about something." Sirius' eyes turned soft despite his best efforts.

"O-o-kay," Mary huffed out in a laugh, before he could even get into describing Remus' lips, "That's enough out of you lover boy." Mary shoved him with her foot under the table. "Hey! You wanted to know." Sirius sipped his hot chocolate, glaring at her over it. When he swallowed, he had more at the ready.

"And wasn't that you who sappily told me every little detail about Marlene's smile when you two went out?" Sirius narrowed his eyes in contempt. Mary gasped, completely appalled. "I could tell who she was before she even had the chance to introduce herself." Sirius waggled his finger at her.

Mary crossed her arm and looked off to the side, pouting. "Shame it didn't work out between you two." Sirius said in more of a low tone. "She's a dear friend, that's more important to me than keeping something that just won't work." Mary doubled down.

Sirius knew how tough it was on Mary when they split, he had been with her, chocolate and ice cream at the ready. They must have marathoned a whole rental's worth of romantic comedies in one weekend. They had been through this. She was trying, that being the key word, to more on.

"So you understand where I'm at with Remus." Sirius nodded at her and watched her jaw drop. " No ." She said, shaking her head, eyes wide. "Yes." he argued back.

"No, Sirius, I haven't seen you this infatuated since..." Mary puffed out her cheeks as she thought. "Since we were eighteen." She finally finished and Sirius breathed out harshly.

"Yes, I know, but that didn't turn out so well for me either, did it?" he barked back. Mary looked at him sadly. They hadn't known each other for very long back then, mostly meeting at the parties James invited him to. God knows why Sirius decided to cry in the women's bathroom after that incident, probably because girls would understand being scorned by men. Who was he kidding? Boys, despite some of them being of age, there were no men at that party.

"Sorry, sorry, I know. I know." Sirius raised his hands placatingly. "But yeah, he knows." Sirius rubbed his eyes behind his frames again. He was starting to get a migraine.

"He knows?" Mary questioned. "Remus, he knows I'm gay." Sirius explained, leaning back in his chair to try and get comfortable. He didn't know how to be comfortable and sit in a way that wouldn't draw attention, those two were mutually exclusive.

"Oh. How'd that come out?" Mary raised an eyebrow, looking him up and down suspiciously. "Like that," Sirius pointed out, "just made a stupid joke about coming out."

"And his reaction was?" Mary inquired. She was trying to get information about the situation so she could advise Sirius with the fullest information. "He said 'ok' and that was it." Sirius buried his face in his head and held back a whine. He was still so frustrated. He glanced at Mary between his fingers and she looked as mortified as he felt. He absolutely did not give them anything to work with.

"Do you know if he's...?" Mary questioned and Sirius dragged the hands down his face, momentarily messing up his glasses. "I have no clue. He's mixed signals galore." he let himself sigh this time.

"But if you had to guess." Mary tried again, prying further. "I don't know!" Sirius huffed as quietly as he could, so as not to draw attention to them. "I really want him to be, but I'm too biased and it might be wishful thinking." he explained.

Mary observed him for a little bit, before sighing sympathetically. "At least something's happening in your love life." she grimaced, looking down at her empty cup. Sirius' jaw dropped. "No," he protested, "what happened to the cute flower shop owner?"

Sirius was genuinely heartbroken over the news that the flower shop was very much taken and worse, married and his flirting was just him being nice. He was right there alongside Mary in her grief after what could have been. That little story also reminded him of why him staying friends with Remus was definitely the correct call. Remus could just be a good friend, he was a very good friend. Nothing they did had to be strictly romantic, but damn it if Sirius didn't hope it strayed from platonic. It certainly did for him.

The rest of the midday was spent talking over the latest gossip. Sirius couldn't believe how he had left for four weeks and it seemed like everything was suddenly happening. Sirius' brows in a constant raise and his disbelieving expressions made Mary crack up with laughter. After the meeting, Sirius felt refreshed. He missed this too. No matter where he went, he would always miss a part of him.

Once he got back home, he called James, but the line was quiet. Instead, he busied himself in the kitchen, trying to make something decent before his parents returned from work.

He liked being in the kitchen, Effie usually liked her space so everyone was either chased out of the room, or she relegated him to tasks he could take outside the space, like chopping vegetables. He diced like a pro, longing to be useful and help in any way or shape he could. Sirius felt like he would never truly pay them back for what they did to him. He would feel indebted to Euphemia and Fleamont Potter for his entire life. But he tries to give back with the little things, helping, making them laugh, being a good son. Sirius had never wanted to be a good son before the Potters, but for them, he would be the best.

He blended tomatoes for a sauce and started heating the creamy pasty up on the stove. He stirred the finely-diced peppers, onion and garlic on the pan on one of the burners. Sirius threw in the diced paneer along with the cashews. He was flavouring the sauce with bay leaf when his mum came back from work.

"I'm home, beta ." She placed a kiss on his temple even though she had to stretch to do it. Sirius wrapped an arm around her as he added the rest of the spices. "I started on dinner." Sirius explained and mixed the sauce. "How was the hospital?" Sirius inquired, giving her shoulder a squeeze before going back to cooking.

"Busy, the cases were complicated, so we only managed to do two." Euphemia set on to tell him all about work as he scraped the sauce over this sauce base. She spoke about the patients and what complicated the surgeries as she put the rice on. Unlike her, Sirius had no issues with help in the kitchen. He liked cooking with family, he liked the synergy, he liked feeling like an integrated part of the team. Sirius put in yoghurt and smiled to himself as his sauce turned creamy and the colour it did when Effie made it, or at least close.

"That smells perfect, beta ." Monty walked into the room and ruffles Sirius' hair. Sirius glowed with pride, so did his cheeks under the praise. "Should be five minutes and we're ready to plate." he announced instead.

Sirius tried to show his appreciation for his parents by learning how to cook their favourite dishes. He learned Indian cooking from Effie, she sat him through countless instructions on how to do it until it was engraved on his heart. He was an absolute disaster at the start, he had burned the rice, he had forgotten to season, he did things out of order. He was a fire hazard more times than he could count on his hand, but eventually it paid off. Little by little, pushing through every failure, because he was allowed to fail in this house.

When they sat at the table, the atmosphere brimmed with life. The conversation flowed, easy and comfortable, and Sirius tried not to choke as he laughed. He wished James was here to make this moment even sweeter, but he was doing his best, making his name in the world. Sirius was extremely glad things were going well for him, but it didn't make him miss his presence in the chair, one that was his chair, at the dining table.

James Potter was sunshine incarnated.

James Potter was a nuisance.

Lily Evans could not fathom how people could stand him. All he was was plastic smiles and friendly demeanor. Seriously, who smiled all the time? It was clearly an act. Lily Evans couldn't stand all the facades. She's had enough of them throughout her life. It irked her when it was someone trying to be her friend. It ground her gears when it was someone trying to take advantage of her for monetary gain.

It wouldn't even be that bad if he wasn't trying to encourage Lily into a publicity relationship to promote the movie. She had been there before. She was asked by her manager to indulge in some, to mixed answers for Lily. She used to do them. They went over well at first, but she didn't like how it discredited her. As soon as she was part of an item, it was 'them' and 'him' and she got lost in the process, being passed off as someone's girlfriend. So Lily Evans didn't do publicity relationships anymore.

However, mutual agreement wasn't the only way to make it happen. She'd been fooled into it once. The guy was all sweet to her and she let her guard down and gave him a chance. They'd dated throughout shooting, get caught by the press. They would publicly date throughout the press tour and when the tour was over, so was the relationship.

Really, James Potter couldn't be more obvious if he tried. He was trying so hard to be likeable, to get close to her, it was written all over him. Lily had made her name in the industry all on her own. She wouldn't let people take that away from her due to personal drama. It wouldn't be any relationships that would get her acknowledged, it would be her skill and prowess in her craft.

Thankfully, her last comment seemed to make him give up on making the relationship happen. Lily hated that she felt guilty when James looked like a kicked puppy when she outright refused him. As if he had been wagging his tail excitedly and she made it drop between his legs sadly. Lily despised that she could see it in his eyes on set when they stopped rolling, the way the light in his eyes just died and he left her alone with barely a 'bye'. It was a stark contrast to the way it used to be when the light in his eyes would grow impossibly brighter and he would go on, trying to get her to eat lunch with them.

Lily cursed his good looks and the baseline he set of being all sunshine and rainbows. He actually made her feel like she was in the wrong, when he was- Ugh, he was the one who was trying to deceive her. It wasn't fair.

He still waved at her from across the set and she had to fight the urge to wave back. She didn't like how quickly he reverted back to his happy-go-lucky nature, he was clearly putting on a front. Yet, at the same time, he was nice to everyone, so did it really matter if it was fake or not?

Lily shook that idea off. That wasn't the problem. It was that she didn't need someone making publicity for her, she did that just fine on her own, thank you very much. She didn't need anyone, much less James Potter. He barely just got here, she's been in the scene for years. It wasn't fair how he just had everyone at his beck and call, fawning over that accent of his.

Lily would never admit that she found his accent even remotely charming. She wouldn't because she didn't. She absolutely did not find the way he pronounced words-even her name- in a way that just scratched her brain the right way.

Another infuriating thing about James Potter was his kissing him. It made her even so mad to discover during the kissing scene of the movie that James was good at it. It was unfair honestly, because if he wasn't trying to trick her, she might have actually been interested in him. However, that wasn't the case and she wasn't interested.

Meanwhile, James Potter had no idea what a publicity relationship even was, much less that he was behaving like someone trying to initiate one.

When her manager mentioned the press tour, Lily couldn't stop the grimace that showed up on her face. "Alright, out with it. What's that face for?" Molly levelled her with one of her motherly looks and Lily couldn't help, but tell her exactly what was wrong.

"It's Potter, I can't stand him." Lily admitted and watched her manager's eyes go wide. " James ? What did he do?" She looked shocked, which Lily couldn't understand. She was hoping at least her own manager would be on her side.

"It's just... Ever since I met him, he's been trying to coax me into hanging out with him and I can tell he wants to date, but I just can't do another publicity thing." Lily moaned, stretching out in her chair as she tried to rub some soreness from her shoulders. Molly sat down next to her. "Lily," Molly took her hand in hers, "James doesn't do publicity relationships. This is his first big job, he's never really done a press tour either." Her publicist informed her and suddenly the world shifted and clicked into place.

"So, he just..." Lily tailed off. "Fancies you, I'm afraid." Molly finished for her, giving her hand a gentle pat.

"Glad, I could clear this up before the interviews, but you should still probably talk to him." Molly gave her shoulder a squeeze. Lily was out of it, staring at an empty point in space. "God, I've been such a bitch." she whispers into the space.

"Talk it through, he doesn't seem like the type to hold grudges." Molly called out to her, before leaving Lily to figure out how she's going to approach this situation on her own.

Lily liked making lists, keeping things organised, so she made one. The list of what she had to do was:

1) Apologise to James Potter,

2) Offer to join him for lunch,

3) Inviting him out to reconcile after shooting.

The thing was, Lily spent pretty much the entirety of shooting being cross with James Potter. Tomorrow would be their last day on set and she didn't quite know how she was going to mend this whole situation in one work day. She needed him to agree to that additional meeting, so they'd leave things on good terms. It would be a few months before they're due to go on the press tour and Lily would not allow any bitterness to form in that time.

She was going to fix this.

Chapter Text

The next day, photos of him and Mary were in the tabloids. He should have known. He should have remembered that he wasn't allowed this. He wasn't allowed to catch up with friends in cafes. he'd opened the morning paper and saw his name mentioned once again. They mentioned him being seen with 'one of his previous exploits' and it made him sick. He was just trying to have a semblance of a normal life. Pandora called him not long after he woke up, assuring him that it was nothing, just that the press had nothing better to write about (she had previously tried to bar him from getting access to newspapers, which they almost terminated their partnership over). She sent him over some monologues to memorise over the next week to prepare for auditions. He wanted to get a head start on them, but he found he couldn't focus on the page. He should have been able to. The auditions were the only way to get out of the house. He should focus on that, he should and yet it was hard. Too hard on that day.

The headlines soured the mood for him somewhat, it didn't help that when he called Remus, his line was quiet. He knew it was because he was probably at work, he hadn't shared his entire schedule with him, but it still made Sirius miss him. They were set to meet up the following day and Sirius was a little nervous. He didn't know where they stood anymore. Could he be the same he was when they were filming? Should he pull back? Would Remus notice if he did again? He really hoped he would notice. He needed him to pay attention to him for selfish reasons. The whole day was like whiplash to the previous weeks spent on set.

The rest of the day went a bit mellow for Sirius, he felt this restless itch under his skin, but didn't know how to get rid of it. The house got too quiet when he was alone. Sirius hadn't been properly alone in years. He had been very particular about surrounding himself with people, he loved his family, his friends, but when they weren't here, when no one was here but himself, his head started talking.

 He spent an immeasurable period of time taking tea on the porch outside. The sun felt like it didn't move, the clouds ran through the sky like they had places to be, but Sirius didn't. He had no places to be but there, letting time pass until his next audition. It all felt pointless at times like this. Sirius stared at the grass swaying in the breeze. It glistened in the sun and mocked him for his sour mood. He ended up laying on it in an act of defiance. His limbs spread in a starfish-position in the middle of the back garden until he felt the ants trying to claim him as part of their soil. He considered letting them crawl over him for a little while. 

He inevitably did as his thoughts wandered down the path of 'how long would it be until I was covered in them?' that quickly became a road of 'how many ants could fit on me?'. He eventually got ticklish enough that he brushed them off him and went inside for a shower. He felt a little better. His therapist said that getting sun is good on the days where he's feeling down and she was right. Sirius found it equal parts hilarious and miserable that he was like a plant. He wilted when he didn't see the sun for long enough.

His shower was a concert that featured both Bowie and Freddie Mercury, he had whole songs memorised, and the lyrics that escaped him were improvised, but it didn't matter anyway. The water provided a grounding effect he so desperately needed when alone. He spent the day outside as much as he could, he never liked being confined, but he wasn't allowed to be free when out in public, so their back garden it was.

He wanted to go for a drive, go somewhere people wouldn't recognise him and just be. However, the M25 was the bane of his existence as any spontaneous trip out of the city ended up as a whole day affair. He was more or less stuck within the confines of the city and therefore, the plot of the house.

He was already anticipating his next role, it was his excuse for being. He couldn't wait to get out there again. He needed it like breathing. It helped take his mind off the fact that he was alone.

When James Potter woke up that day, he didn't expect anything different than usual. Sure, it was their last day on set, he was equal parts happy and sad to see the production end. He really enjoyed his time in the studio while it lasted. 

His first surprise of the day was Lily Evans waving back at him in the morning. He should have been ecstatic, over the moon with joy, but honestly? He was mostly just confused.

They went through the scenes and Lily was...nice? To him? James Fleamont Potter hadn't been confounded like this in a long time. He wondered if it wa a late April Fool's joke, maybe someone was playing a prank on him. He honestly felt like a passer-by in the Christmas Tale. Lily Evans was Ebeneezer Scrooge transformed after being visited by three ghosts of Christmas and James had no idea how or why it happened. 

Bamboozled, James went to lunch on his last day of filming. It was a bittersweet feeling. James felt free as Peter Parker, he felt a deep connection to him and he loved playing him. It was possible for him to be asked to reprise the role if the film performed well enough. He was more than happy with that clause in his contract. It still felt surreal most days. He'd look in the mirror and say breathlessly "I'm Spiderman.". That usually ended with him grinning like an idiot and going to sleep while still wearing that smile.

Now, his smile was small and confused as Lily Evans herself came up to their table. "Is this seat taken?" she pointed to the empty chair. He exchanged a momentary look with Peter, who seemed just as lost to what was happening as him. "Yeah!-I mean, no, it's not...taken. Sure, go ahead." James gestured to the seat. He winced inside at his floundering. He was so shocked, his synapses weren't connecting properly.

James was staring as Lily sat down next to them. The table fell silent. It's not that James wanted to alienate her or be exclusionary in any manner, he just completely forgot what they had been talking about with Peter just moments prior.

"So, Lily," Peter began, James' saviour while he still sat there dumbfounded, "what brings you to our humble table?"

Lily looked between them and answered, "Wanted to check what I've been missing." She offered them both a smile. James smiled back on instinct, but he didn't really know where to go from there. Suddenly, he forgot everything he knew about socialisation. "Well, check me out all you want." James threw out the first response as soon as it came to him. His eyes widened as he heard his own words. 

"Us! Feel free to check us out." he amended, but he could already feel Peter trying not to snicker beside him. "Yeah, what he said." Peter grinned cheekily. James shot him a warning glare. The traitor. 

For the first time in James' life, lunch was a mortifying affair.

"If you want to skip the small talk and go straight into embarrassing secrets, I can tell you about that time James made chicken biryani for me. Actually 'made' is a strong word, there was an attempt- " Peter seemed to think the best way of getting James out of his stupor was to put him in fight or flight. It seemed to work as James, in turn, gave Peter a sharp elbow to the side. "Yeah, that's enough. What Pete meant here," he muttered 'rat' under his breath, Peter grinned proudly, "was that I like to do things for my friends. Some of them just don't appreciate it."

Peter shrugged, "I would appreciate it more if anything was edible." Lily looked between them, intrigued. "It was edible! You ate half of it!" James pointed out. Peter rolled his eyes and stage-whispered to Lily, "He's so dramatic. I'll eat anything as long as it's not rotten." 

"What was so wrong with it?" Lily inquired and James immediately stopped hounding Peter and turned to her. He tunes out Peter when he barks out, "What wasn't?" with a snort. The conversation was so mediocre that he was surprised Lily was actually listening.

"I may have oversalted the sauce...and overcooked the rice." James admitted. Lily offered a small smile in return. "Well, that doesn't sound so bad." She commented and James immediately felt guilty for trying to sugarcoat his shortcomings. 

He hadn't wanted to admit just how bad he was at cooking, especially when he failed at making a cultural dish from his mother's side. It felt like an insult to her and his ancestry. He would rather not have to mention the biryani incident after it ended, but there they were.

"Uh, yeah, I guess it doesn't." James gulped, he could feel Peter's disappointed gaze on him. "Are you decent in the kitchen, Lily?" James asked.

Lily's lips twitched. "I thought my mother would be the last woman to have to answer that question." She raised her eyebrows at James and he suddenly felt hot all of the sudden. He could feel his cheeks burning. "I did not mean it like that." James defended, looking away.

"Actually, I'm going to go get some tea, anything for you two?" James offered and barely registered the two of them shaking their heads. He just needed a clear mind, it had been all frazzled since Lily approached them-no, ambushed them at their table.

He walked over to the coffee machine, James sorely missed kettles during his stay. It seemed like America was late to the invention, even though they were widely commonplace in the UK. James knew it was because of cultural habits, truly 5 pm meant entirely something else to Brits than it did to Americans. Still, he could believe how rarely he found someone, who regularly used them here. The first moment he heard of microwaving water in a cup, he had to sit in his room alone for a quarter to simply process the information.

That particular memory calmed him somewhat as he brewed his tea and added a dollop of milk. Foreign grounds, familiar beverage. Something to soothe the soul. He was aware of the fact that in a couple days he'd be flying back to England. He'd see his parents and Sirius-oh, crap. James had been so excited to go to set, to try to remember everything about this experience that he could, that he left early in the morning and missed his call to Sirius. If he waited until he was done with work, he'd probably miss Sirius because he'd be asleep already.

James got back to the table and placed his teacup on its surface. "So sorry, got to run. Talk to you guys later. You can try tea the way Brits intended!" He waved over to them and sped up to his room to call home. He knew that if the call went through, he wouldn't be returning to the cafe during lunch break.

Lily Evans found everything in her plan askew. 

She had planned on apologising to James, but instead of talking to him like a normal person, she chickened out and simply waved at him from across the room. Then she just skipped asking to join them for lunch and just approached him at lunch instead. Then James went to make tea and Peter had been teasing her about trying to get on James' good side. Last of all, the cherry on top, James Potter walking out on them when they were just starting to talk. She hadn't apologised, she hadn't asked him to meet her for coffee so she could explain without Peter being privy to their conversation.

 The last portion of shooting would have neither of their scenes together, in fact, she didn't have any scenes left to film, so she had no excuse to stick around the set. Instead of going to set anyway, Lily resolved to ask James when they were at the wrap-up party. It would be good, lots of people, lots of socialisation, plenty of reasons for them to talk. Judging by James' behaviour at lunch, she would have little to talk about, he was easily flustered and probably would be too nervous to reject her offer even if she somehow doesn't manage to apologise during the celebration. Given how well this day's plans have been going so far, that was highly likely.

However, given how much she genuinely wanted to apologise, her resolve grew in strength from that morning. She got ready for the party, dressed her best to feel as confident as she could. Lily didn't make mistakes often and admitting to them, confronting them, it really took more out of her than she thought it would.

When Lily entered the party, she found some people already milling about, drinks in hand as they made their last small talks. Some lucky groups held their last meaningful conversations. Lily's eyes caught on a dark complexion and she made her way towards their director, who was currently alone while pondering his options at the snack table.

"Hi, Mr. Shacklebolt." Lily grinned. Kingsley let out an exasperated sigh. "Must you do this to me on my last day, Evans?" He looked at her, unimpressed look in his eyes.

"I thought you said you wanted more respect from me." Lily shrugged as she picked up an appetiser, a chocolate coated strawberry. She didn't need to spend  as much time  as Kingsley to weigh her options for appetisers. "Any formality from you feels like a mockery." He scoffed, that British accent of his twisting around the syllables and making them sound even more posh than they already were.

"So, what will it be, King? Lobster or crab?" Lily made a show of thinking as she turned her attention to the table. Kingsley's lips twitched in a smile. "You know what? I was considering one of them, but since you pointed it out, I'll just do the salmon." He plucked up an orange and green appetiser and regarded it between his fingers.

"Which one was the second choice?" Lily questioned and Kingsley sent her a sidelong smirk before just plopping the snack between his lips. "Oh, come on. Which one was I right on?" Lily beckoned. Kingsley held up a finger as he chewed over the snack slowly. Once he swallowed, he opened his mouth.

"I guess you'll never know." Kingsley held fast and walked away from the snack table. Lily was about to go after him to pester him about his culinary preferences, the man was widely considered an enigma among the crew, so Lily set it as her mission early on to figure him out the best she could. This was her last day and last chance to gather information. However, she abandoned her goal when she spotted James walking in with Peter in tow. She swore the two were inseparable.

However, this was her last chance, so Lily pushed down any feelings of discomfort and marched up to him. She could see the moment James' eyes caught onto her, his whole expression lit up.

"Hey, Lily, enjoying the party?" James asked good-naturedly. She nodded instinctively. "Yeah, so far. The snacks are quite good." Lily should have known better. She really should have known better than to mention anything specific. It was in the blink of an eye that Potter was already dragging the both of them to the snack bar. It was moments like these that really made Lily resent how excitable he was. 

"Hey, James?" She tried and James turned his head, hands full of expensive  appetisers, so was his mouth. He reminded her of a puppy that was allowed treats for the first time. Big brown eyes wide with wonder. "Can we talk...alone?" She asked and saw his eyes widen. He shot a quick glance at Peter, nodded and left his collection for Peter to keep watch over. 

They walked out into the corridor outside of the main room.

"So, what is this about?" James gestured around them to the near empty space. Lily took a steadying breath. "I'm sorry." She said before she could try to distract herself from doing anything other than apologising.

"I'm sorry?" James excused, confused about what was happening. "No, no, don't. I just. I've been awful to you these past weeks. Cold, unresponsive, stiff. I thought I knew something, but I realised I was wrong and for that I'm sorry and I thought we might want to talk normally? You and me I mean. Could I get you out for coffee?" The whole thing spilled out of Lily. So far so good.

"Yeah, sure, tomorrow sound good?" James asked and Lily lit up.

Great.

"I'm leaving on Monday, so it might be tricky afterwards." James added and she deflated a bit.

Less great.

James Fleamont Potter was the preferred topic of the world that day.

"You should meet James when he gets back." Sirius told him over the phone later that evening. Remus hummed in acknowledgement. "He'll love you. I'm serious." He added.

"I thought we were past introductions." Remus allowed himself that comment to switch the subject. It's not that he didn't like James, he just wasn't sure how to feel about the idea meeting Sirius' brother, one who he talked so much about. James just seemed like this grandiose sort of being, the one you hear about, the epitome of the American Dream, the rags to riches Cinderella story (mind you he was neither abused nor poor, but the media loved to imply humble beginnings). James Potter was not someone you just meet. Then again, Remus was friends with Sirius Orion Black, so maybe logic worked backwards now.

Nonetheless, Sirius took the bait of his absolutely terrible joke. "That's low for you." he chastised. "I have to lean down once in a while." Remus shrugged, then decided he was feeling bold.

"Get down on your level." He delivered the jab mercilessly. Sirius gasped theatrically, "Are you calling me short ?"

Remus chuckled. "I was calling you uninspired, but since you brought that up..." He let the sentence hang to punctuate his point. "Next time I see you, I'm going to make you eat those words." Sirius vowed and then completely shifted his tone, all animosity vanishing.

"Speaking of, are we still on for tomorrow?" Sirius asked over the phone, twirling the cord around his finger. "'Course we are." Remus' voice was soft on the other side.

"We'd better. I barely remember what you look like." Sirius sighed dramatically and heard a chuckle  on the other end of the line. "It's been three days, Padfoot." Remus pointed out.

Sirius grinned, "I have a terrible memory." He was rewarded by hearing Remus' laughter through the speaker. He let himself close his eyes and just listen to the sound. He missed it, hopefully he'd hear it in person soon. "How terrible?" Remus inquired, voice a little breathless.

"Terrible what?" Sirius was absolutely beaming when he heard him laugh once more. "You're ridiculous." Remus commented, sounding fond.

"No, I'm Sirius." This time, that response was dignified with a groan. Guess he got the taste of his own medicine. "Oh, are you? That'd be a first." Remus delivered the jab and Sirius barked out a laugh himself.

"The audacity . I'd better be spoiled tomorrow." he turned up his nose haughtily. "Maybe... What time are you getting here?" Remus asked lightly.

"What time do you wake up?" Sirius responded with a question of his own and Remus chuckled again. "That depends on when you get here ." Remus' smile was audible.

"Planning your whole day around me?" Sirius teased, but he was very pleased by that fact. "You're a full day affair." Remus teased right back. Sirius let out a content sigh.

"You know me too well, Moony." Sirius let himself beam at nothing, he saw his mum walk in and shoot him a curious glance and he tried to school his expression into something more acceptable for platonic interactions. "Any special wishes for what film I rent out?" Remus questioned.

Sirius made a show of humming and audibly considering his options. "Bowie." Sirius finally conceded. "Do you just want me to rent out Ziggy Stardust? You know I have it on vinyl." Remus reminded him.

"What? Why not The Hunger?" Sirius spluttered. " The Hunger ? Are you-no, nevermind." He had been about to ask whether he was serious . Sirius could hear the exasperation in his tone, could imagine him rubbing that bump on his nose as he thought.

Okay, so maybe he was pushing it with the Hunger. He was fairly certain it would make the whole hangout awkward with the amount of tension on screen. He had to concede that there were better options.

"Yellowbeard then?" Sirius suggested. "Sure, I'll check if they have it up, if not I will look for Bowie ." Remus agreed, most likely doing some sort of gesture for the artist's name that Sirius longed to see instead of having to imagine it over the phone.

"You're the best, Moony~" Sirius answered in a sing-song tone. "Don't I know it." Remus was smiling on the other side of the line.

Chapter Text

Sirius spent so long trying to find the right outfit for the occasion. It didn't feel right to dress the way it did when he first visited the flat. They were experiencing a heat wave and if he even put an arm into his leather jacket, he might boil alive. It didn't feel right to dress up for the occasion either, he was just seeing a friend. He was seeing just a friend. He should dress normally. Therefore, he did dress normally. Sirius' normal went about as follows, his most comfortable Led Zeppelin t-shirt, ripped black jeans, a studded belt, a few chain necklaces and his usual stack of rings. He didn't wear this particular pair of denim very often, but the holes provided some reprieve in the sweltering weather. He tied his hair back into a ponytail and slid on a pair of sunglasses that were so large, the sun had no way of reaching his eyes.

A car arrived in the driveway at the time Pandora said it would. They had two drivers, and each of them had been working part time since only one Potter son needed to be driven around whilst the other one was off in America. His leg bounced with the pent up nervous energy on the drive over. The air conditioning of the vehicle was a reprieve from the weather of the day, but soon he was standing in front of Remus' building and he was all hot again. Whether that was the weather or the nerves.

 Nevertheless, he’d pinged Remus’ intercom and heard his voice on the other side, the grainy ‘ello’ somehow eased his nerves. “Moony, let me in.” Sirius rattled the front door like a prisoner, even though he knew Remus couldn’t see it. “Come on up” were the last words he heard before a buzzing sound and on the last tug, the door swung open.

Sirius stood in the elevator as it ascended, checking himself out in the floorlength mirror. Yeah, everything looked good. He pulled at the necklaces, trying to get them to separate so they’d fall more aesthetically. God, he was just here to chill, could he stop obsessing over his appearance for five-

The elevator doors opened. WIth one final look at himself, he walked out and up to Remus’ door. He raised his fist and knocked three times. A moment later the door opened and there he was, Remus Lupin in all his glory. Well, in as much glory as one could muster in that weather. Like Sirius, he wasn’t wearing anything special. Just a tee and loose trousers, but Sirius swore no one made such a casual combo look that good. It was probably his feelings talking. Or maybe he was just drowning in those brown eyes and shaggy wavy hair.

“Hi.” He beamed up at him. “Bloody hot out, innit?” He added, biting at his lip when he realised both of them had just stuttered in their steps before greeting each other properly. “Yeah, boiling. Come in.” Remus stood off to the side to let him pass.

Sirius walked into the space which hadn’t changed a lick since his last departure before filming. "I got Yellowbeard." Remus piped up behind him. Sirius looked back at him with a small smile. "Oh, yeah? Put it on then."

-

The trumpet sounded off horribly on screen. Remus coughed out a laugh, caught off-guard.

"Oh come on, Moons, he's trying his best." Sirius nudged his shoulder with his, but then stayed there instead of moving back. "Right, yeah. His best." Remus muttered and bit his lip before he dissolved into a quiet laughing fit. To SIriusm that was the most adorable thing in the world.

"I've got acute 'earing." "I'm not interested in your jewelry-"

Sirius erupted in a fit of snickers. Remus just looked at him and his absolutely horrid sense of humour, a smile playing on his own lips.

The second time the mention of sex or rather involuntary sex appeared on screen, Sirius looked askance to see Remus' reaction. He seemed to watch the screen with an impassive expression. It made Sirius feel bold enough to comment.

"I feel like they could've gone without those bits." Sirius expressed and got a nod from Remus, "M'yeah." Sirius watched him out of the corner of his eye.

"I swear this was funnier in theatres." Sirius muttered, not taking his eye off him. "Mass hysteria, probably." Remus replied lightly and Sirius was so caught off guard he completely lost it at that comment. Trust Moony to get him to crack up more than a comedy.

Once he finally recovered, he looked up to see brown eyes smiling at him. Sirius was transfixed, but his brain clearly wasn't on the same page and he blurted out: "Do you just want to skip to the part Bowie is in?"

Remus blinked at him, before turning back to the movie that was still playing in the background with no one watching it. "Uh, yeah. Just gonna fast forward and you yell when you catch him or something." Remus leaned forward and picked up the remote.

Sirius watched the blur of scenes on the tv until he saw that telltale scene. It didn't even last a full minute and as David Bowie's character closed the door, Remus turned to Sirius with a small smile, "Satisfied?"

Sirius grinned back at him, "Very." He slapped his knees, "Ahh, I can't wait for him to play a bigger role in something. I'd love to see that." He bounced up from the sofa and turned around, "Now what d'you say we get on lunch?"

"Lunch?" Remus questioned, albeit already getting up himself. "Yeah, I can cook you something, what do you have?" Sirius made the walk to Remus' kitchen look natural, like he already owned the place, despite his presence in it being somewhere near the double digits.

"I don't really-" Remus started to say, but then his refrigerator door was already being opened. "Oooh~ What are these?" Sirius cooed, his arms had gone straight for the two cans of beer on the top shelf. He hummed, clearly interested, "Shame there's only two."

"I didn't plan to get smashed with you tonight." Remus explained, taking the cans from his hands and putting them back in their place. He tried to ignore the pout Sirius was giving him. His puppy eyes were actually lethal to Remus' resolve and he had a shift the next day. Like any other dog, Sirius gave up on trying to get attention and returned to what he was doing before his best beggar impression.

"You have zucchini, ham, cheese and carrots?" Sirius turned to him with a raised brow. That time, the look he shot him was the most judgmental Remus had ever gotten. It was chilling. He suddenly remembered he was part of the Black family after all.

"Well, I don't keep everything in the fridge." He walked around Sirius and closed the door. "There's tomatoes on the counter, onion and garlic in the cupboard...and a ton of preserves I rarely use." He explained and he suddenly realised just how close they were standing, Sirius' back was practically against his chest and-no. No. They were friends .

Remus moved away, putting space between them. His movement didn't seem to deter Sirius from opening his freezer as well. "Make yourself a copy of the keys while you're at it." Remus muttered quiet enough for Sirius not to hear.

"Can I use your meat?" Sirius asked and turned to face a Remus who just blinked at him in confusion. "The ground meat in your freezer?" He clarified.

"Ehh, sure? It's just going to take a bit to defrost." Remus answered. He should stop being surprised by Sirius. He had gotten used to the routine of working with him, of staying at the inn, but having him in his home? That part, added with how at ease Sirius seemed to feel there, that still threw him for a loop. He watched Sirius take out ingredients from his fridge. "You know you don't need to do this." Remus leaned his hip against the kitchen counter as he observed Sirius trying to fumble for the things he was looking for.

"I know, I want to, I just... Jesus Christ, Moons, where do you keep your wooden spoons?" Sirius threw his hands up, giving up on trying to find one on his own. Having already surveyed the entire counter space, he couldn't locate a single one. The corners of Remus' mouth twitched as he pushed himself off the counter and opened the drawer that was right next to his hip. He produced a single wooden spoon and presented it to Sirius with an amused smirk. Sirius yanked it from his grip and pointed it at him accusatorily, "You did that on purpose."

Remus held his hands up in surrender. "I didn't even know what you were looking for!" he defended himself, pulse spiking from Sirius's narrowed eyes on him, trying to settle on a judgement. "You could try talking to me, I actually know where things are around here." Remus pressed his luck.

He watched as Sirius' mouth fell open, eyes widening in shock at his audacity. His fingers clenched around the spoon and he drew his hand back as if beginning to throw it at him. Remus ducked instinctively. He risked a glance at Sirius, who despite still fuming and being lightly flushed, was fighting off a smile.

"You're lucky I like you or you'd be dead." He huffed and placed the spoon down, his hands went towards the back of his head, gathering his hair up into a ponytail, he grasped at his wrist and realised he didn't have a hairband on him. "Elastic?" He requested and moments later, Remus held one out to him.

Sirius let out a satisfied hum. "I could get used to this." He was grinning while he started listing all the ingredients he'd need and watching Remus walking all around him and procuring everything he needed.

Once his first batch of ingredients was on the counter. He started cutting the onions on the cutting board. In the meantime, he had Remus take out the rest of the ingredients and start on heating up the pan.

"Last thing we'll need is pasta. Spaghetti or lasagna?" Sirius didn't even look up as he got into his zen zone of cooking. Remus barked out a laugh, "We don't have enough lasagna sheets for two people." He was thoroughly entertained that SIrius acted as if he knew his stash better than he did.

"Well, if you'd like, you can pop down to the shops and get more, and some stuff for the bechamel." Sirius replied. Remus stood off to the side, just watching his hands as he diced and worked on the counter space like he was a proper line chef. It was unfairly attractive to see Sirius so in his element about something other than acting, and that was attractive too.

After a few more moments passed in silence while Remus was just transfixed by Sirius's hands. No one had any business being hot while slicing tomatoes, it was simply criminal. "Moony?" Sirius spoke up, halting in his actions, turning his head to see what held him up. Remus looked up and their eyes met. Remus had to manually remind his mouth to swallow because he was salivating and he wasn't sure it was because of the food.

"Yeah, I'll be right back. Any special requests?" Remus conceded. His eyes dropped to Sirius lips and he later looked to the cutting board to disguise the action. Sirius hummed, head still turned in his direction. Remus could feel his eyes on his skin. "Yeah..." Sirius spoke softly, but didn't elaborate.

Remus looked back up at him and Sirius' eyes bounced up from whatever they were looking at beforehand. "You wouldn't be against stocking up your liquor cabinet, would you?" He immediately put the charm on, batting his eyelashes. Remus released a chuckle. "Pads." He admonished, but the smile was there, no matter how much he tried to smother it down.

"Come on..." Sirius whined, rolling his eyes. "Just two more cans. Please, Moony?" He pleaded with his eyes. Remus sighed and braced one hand on the counter pushing himself up. He leaned forward into Sirius's space. "Alcoholic." He accused before leaning back. He turned on his heel, but not before seeing how Sirius' eyes lit up, a triumphant grin overtaking his features.

"You're the best~" Sirius cooed after him. Remus allowed himself to grin as he put his shoes on. He really needed to get a grip, not that the alcohol would help with that. 

Funnily enough, leaving Sirius alone in his flat didn't feel half as weird to him as it should have. He was gone for maybe twenty minutes and when he came back, his flat smelled divine.

"I'm back!" He called over the music, which was playing from the gramophone. It brought a  smile to his face to imagine putting Queen on was probably the first thing Sirius did after he left. "Great! Now get in here, I seriously need to start that bechamel." Sirius admonished, as if he wasn't the one starting to make a dish without all the necessary ingredients.

Remus was content to stand in his kitchen while Mercury sang and Sirius cooked right in front of him.  Some deeper part of him wanted that to become the norm. He didn't even have it in himself to admonish himself for that thought. This was nice. It wasn't even inherently romantic, but it just felt right.

They assembled the layers together and when the dish was safely secured inside the oven, they stood in the middle of the kitchen, looking at each other. "What now?" Remus asked him, tilting his head to the side.

Sirius heaved a sigh as he looked askance. "The spaghetti would've taken less waiting time." he mused and Remus laughed. "Should've thought of that before you sent me on a grocery run." Remus shrugged, leaning back against the counters and crossing his arms, looking at his flat as if it held the answers to their predicament. 

"You wanted lasagna." Sirius joined him, mimicking his posture. "It's true, I did. I don't make it often." Remus admitted with a small smile. They stayed like that for a little bit, letting the music wash over them. When the last notes of the vinyl sounded, Sirius broke the silence.

"Dance with me." He was already pushing himself off the counter, much less content to stay still than Remus. Remus just watched him walk over to the player and switch records. Remus started placating, "Listen, I don't know how much you remember from the party, but-"

"But you were fine." Sirius was already moving the sofa, along with the rug underneath it off to the side. He huffed when it became clear that Remus wasn't going to help him redecorate. "Unless you want to finish Yellowbeard?" He offered and it had the undertone of a threat.

"Padfoot, for you, I'd sit through watching paint dry." Remus deflected with a brilliant smile and watched Sirius send him a death glare. He had been hoping this would be easier. "Yeah, and I'd watch grass grow with you. Dance with me." He repeated his request and Remus pushed himself off the counter. He walked around the kitchen island and watched the hope light up in Sirius eyes. He walked over and put his record of choice on.

Remus relished in how quickly his eyes changed from that to annoyance as Remus sat down onto the sofa. Sirius plopped himself right next to him and leaned back over his lap, sighing dramatically. "How dare you wound me so? I never get rejected." Sirius put a hand to his temple, making a big show of his disappointment.

"You'll live." Remus struggled to find a place for his hands now that he had Sirius' torso right underneath his elbows. "It's good for you." He settled for placing one hand on top of his head, which the other was lazily draped around his waist.

"Good for me? Moony, you're breaking my heart over here." Sirius thrashed dramatically in his lap, head turning to the side, not to have to look at him anymore. Remus used the position to get the elastic out of Sirius' hair, who hummed in appreciation, despite his theatrics.

"Use that pain for your art." Remus said with a sly smirk, beginning to run his hands through Sirius black locks. Sirius was in two minds on what to do. Half of him was already sinking into Remus' lap, drinking in the affection as best as he could, the other half still wanted to get the satisfaction of getting Remus to dance with him sober. He couldn't really find it in himself to feign anger for much longer when the joy of knowing their physical connection didn't simply get severed after the shooting. In the end, he settled on the first option, but glared at Remus nonetheless.

"You are awful, you know that?" Sirius grumbled. The smile on Remus' face turned serene. "Oh, I know. Just the worst."

Sirius allowed himself to close his eyes and just let himself be, the chill sounds of the Carpenters floating through the space. Personally, Sirius could've stayed in that moment forever. His closed eyes awarded Remus the opportunity to gaze unabashedly at the man as he carded his fingers through the inky strands. That peaceful expression and small contented smile. The thick eyelashes fluttering against his skin. Remus genuinely believed he'd never met a person who matched Sirius' beauty, not by a mile. He was sure Sirius knew that, though, so he'd never mention it lest he bloat his ego even more. He silently hoped Sirius knew just how breathtaking he really was, especially when he made you run back to the inn after you stayed out too long after sunset.

He must have had an audible reaction to that memory, because Sirius stirred slightly, humming inquisitively. "What are you thinking about?" His hand came to rest over Remus' over his side. "Wales." Remus supplied simply as Sirius played with their fingers. 

The response was instantaneous, Sirius started grinning just at the mention. "I don't think I'll ever get over Wales." Sirius agreed dreamily. "Me neither." Remus supplied, heart squeezing at how happy Sirius looked in that moment. 

When Sirius opened his eyes and he saw the light bouncing off that steel grey, Remus was quite sure a part of him would never get over the man in front of him.