Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ever since Jeongguk was 11, he had been an outcast. There was no particular reason - or rather, there were too many. For some he was too quiet, for others too loud. Sometimes he was too strange, other times he was too mainstream. Too girly, too macho, too pretty, not handsome enough. Too rowdy, too shy.

He's heard it all, and soon enough nothing was new anymore. Now, 7 years later, the insults had grown to be boring. His school knew him as Jeon "the Freak" Jeongguk, and you know what? He owned that fucking name. He skipped most classes, he sold weed, he failed senior year and was currently retaking it, not for himself but so that his uncle's nerves would be soothed.

If you didn't know Jeongguk as the Freak, you knew him as the Emo. Or Goth. People could never get it right. He had pierced every possible spot on his ears, wore multiple chains and rings and ran around in ripped jeans and leather jackets.

Students recognized him from a mile away and turned the other direction. Most people knew his spots, and knew how and when to avoid him. Most people didn't want anything to do with him or at the very least even be seen with the freak, in fear of what it could do to their reputation.

"Um."

So why exactly was there a person lying sprawled out on the old picnic table in the woods, aka Jeongguk's sacred (and well known) smoking spot?

Very much hesitant, Jeongguk put his lighter and rolled cig back in his pocket and began stalking towards the table, cranking his neck to see more.

It didn't even look comfortable, the way the guy was laying there. His legs hung off the edge, heels barely reaching the wooden bench attached to the table. His arms were by his side, palms facing up and frankly, angled in a fairly odd way.

'Oh God, please don't be dead,' Jeongguk thought in horror. He already looked like the prime suspect of a murder, he didn't want to become one.

It was only when he reached him that he spotted the light rise and fall of the guy's chest, and relief flooded his veins only to quickly be replaced with annoyance.

"Can I fucking help you?" he rasped out. He had gotten so used to having his neck of the woods to himself that he became pissed off at the sight of what he considered to be an intruder.

The boy didn't even flinch at Jeongguk's rough quip, only turned his head and blinked at the other, looking barely awake. The outgrown, honey brown hair that had covered the boy's face fell back almost elegantly, revealing a perfect nose, sharply angled lips and even sharper, dark brown eyes that immediately pierced through Jeongguk's.

If you couldn't recognize V, you'd be a fool. Jeongguk may be a freak, but he was no idiot, and so he immediately stepped back and held his bag close. He had been beaten up before when rumors came out that he sold more than just weed, and he wasn't keen on that happening again.

"Shit, sorry." he said rather quickly. Embarrassed, he cleared his throat and continued. "Didn't recognize you... You know this place?"

V said nothing, only stared at Jeongguk with an open, almost bored expression. Then he suddenly sat up and ran a hand through his, definitely outgrown and untreated, hair. His eyes ran up and down Jeongguk's frame, taking him in.

Subconsciously (and without his own input, Jeongguk squared his shoulders and raised his chin. V only continued to stare him down, until...

"Got any weed on you?"

Jeongguk blinked. "'Scuse me?"

"You're Jeon, the dealer from school," V said. His voice was about as expressive as his face, which it was not. Jeongguk was almost weirded out. Almost. "Got any on you?"

Jeongguk eyed V warily, wondering how the hell the guy knew his name. Everyone else just called Jeongguk "the freak."

Or "asshole."

"Pussy" and "dickhead" had become popular at the same time which was very funny.

Jeongguk was well enough acquainted with the macho wannabes that V always hung out with, but the dealer had never spoken to the king directly, let alone sold any drugs to him. But... He was Jeon Jeongguk, he had a reputation to uphold, so he nodded reluctantly.

"Yeah, I got some," he said, pulling out a ziploc bag full of weed from his bag. "But it ain't cheap. Especially for you."

Anyone else would've gotten offended, or at least reacted somehow to the jab. But V just looked, unfazed. The guy may as well already be on cloud fuckin' 4-20 or something, but Jeongguk knew better - more specifically, he knew his weed.

"The little incident? Last week?" he pushed when V didn't answer. Well, Jeon Jeongguk never needed an invitation to start ranting. "Your little friend Choi Minho punched me and broke into my stash because I looked at his girlfriend. Prices are doubled for you and your boys until I got the money you owe me."

It was risky, very much so. But Jeongguk was the only good dealer in their area, let alone their school. They could fuck him up, but not beyond repair unless they wanted to find somewhere else to get their stuff, and everybody and their mother knew that these boys were too lazy for that.

But V just looked, no, stared at Jeongguk, not moving at all aside from the occasional blink. Then, he got up from the bench and... actually pulled out his wallet, briefly counted the bills he had before he looked back to Jeongguk.

"How much you got?" he quipped almost expectantly.

"...Fine then," Jeongguk drawled and leaned against a tree, arms crossing. "How much you want?"

V remained quiet for the entire deal, still saying little to nothing. He pressed a wad of cash in Jeongguk's hand, took his newly acquired drugs and just waltzed off without saying bye.

Jeongguk watched him leave, absolutely bewildered at the strange meet with the guy who was supposed to be the King of Darryl High. Well, the guy from just now did look very king-y.

It took Jeongguk a little too long to realize that the money V gave him was more than the price of the weed. About 20$ more, to be specific.

But the king was long gone, and left behind a confused freak.

'Oh well, chances are exactly 1 out of 1000 that he'll be back.' Jeongguk thought, shrugging to himself as he got comfortable at the table.

So imagine how very confused Jeongguk was when, a week later, he was back at his sacred picnic table, smoking away when he noticed headlights getting closer. A sleek, obnoxiously orange colored Mercedes car stopped right next to Jeongguk's shitty little Chevy van.

Scrambling to his feet, he watched as no one other than the very same king got out, not dressed in a ratty sweater and matching pants like last week but rather a white button up, grey pants and brown shoes. All nice and proper, like he just came from a job interview.

"Well, well, well," Jeongguk said, definitely missing his filter now that he was as high as a kite. "Excuse the mess, my Lord. I wasn't expecting the king to show up again,"

V crossed the few feet between them almost hesitantly, hand already reaching his back pocket to grab his fancy leather wallet. "Got something to sell?"

Jeongguk reached under him and pulled his backpack from under the table, ripping open the damaged front pocket, and a plastic bag dangled from his fingers just seconds later.

Without saying a word, V took the entire bag from Jeongguk, checking the content for less than five seconds before he pressed a stack of cash into his hand. With how thick it felt, it must've been even more than last week, even if the weed was much more this time. More specifically, it was all Jeongguk had on him at the moment.

He stared at the folded stack in his hand, and then at V who was studying him with intensity. For a second, Jeongguk felt like he was a test subject studied by a scientist. "...Thanks," he muttered under his breath. His mind was too fogged up to care about anything, really. "That's my entire stash, though. I won't have anything for the next few days."

V blinked and looked at the bag, as if he hadn't realized just how much he was buying there. But instead of saying anything, he turned and... Sat down on the table, right next to where Jeongguk had been sitting before V arrived.

Jeongguk squinted at him, the cogs in his head trying their best to turn and get his brain to run before he just shrugged and plopped down on the bench, back to smoking his own joint.

Silence stretched on as they sat next to each other, seconds turning into minutes. V didn't even do anything, he just sat there and stared at his hands after he secured the freshly acquired weed in his bag. Jeongguk felt more than weirded out by the strange company as time went on, and soon enough, when there was only a little stub left of his joint, he immediately got up.

"Well, was nice with ya." he leaned down into a mocking bow. "But a freak's gotta go do business." Without another glance, he turned on his heel and walked off. He was dying to get in the car and get the fuck out of this fever dream.

"I don't have any weed on me," Jeongguk said the third time he found a honey brown haired boy next to him. "Won't have it until, like, in two weeks."

"Alright." V answered, and pulled out a cigarette instead.

The fourth time was an early evening, on a Sunday where most people stayed home to rest up and recharge before the next week began. Especially in Darryl, those people took their rest days very serious.

So why the hell was V at the table again?

"Listen, man," Jeongguk finally said, interrupting the silence that had once again spread around them. "Not to be rude, but don't you got places to be? This is the fourth time I'm meeting you here. I still don't have weed."

V turned to look at him. He looked at Jeongguk for a long time, his marble carved face unreadable. "I don't have any other places," he said then. His voice sounded even lower than usual. "Want me to leave?"

Jeongguk stared back. And sighed. "Whatever. It's public space." he huffed. He snuffed out his cigarette and left with the feeling of V's eyes burning a hole into his neck.

The fifth time he arrived at the table and found a honey haired boy already sitting there, Jeongguk sat down on the other end and smoked his cigarette in peace.

Neither of them uttered a word.

As time went on, it became less and less unusual for Jeongguk to find the highschool king at the table. It was almost as if he waited for the freak to arrive.

Sometimes he'd sell V weed and the senior would leave as soon as the deal was done. Sometimes the two of them would just sit there in silence as Jeongguk smoked his joint, or a cigarette, and V stared holes in the air.

Jeongguk was bothered by it more often than not, and even more unwilling to accept V's presence as a constant to expect. They barely exchanged more than a couple of words each time, and even less when V wasn't there for a deal. The air around them never grew less tense, less agitated.

"Is he doing anythin'?" Sejin asked when Jeongguk told him about it during dinner. "Or does he just... sit there with ya, in silence?"

Jeongguk stared at his uncle for a second before he averted his eyes, shrugging and stuffing more noodles in his mouth. Sejin hummed, thinking for some time.

"Well, then. There's nothin' wrong with that, son." he said eventually, but Jeongguk sighed and leaned back.

"I know it's not, but it's... strange," he admitted. "I don't know what to think of this. I mean, he never did anything to me directly, but he does regularly hang out with the guys who did that," -he gestured to the small, yet visible scars on his cheek and upper lip- "and I... I just don't know."

"Well, that's fair," Sejin grumbled and began collecting their plates after Jeongguk finished. "Tell me as soon as he does ya dirty, but for the time being, tolerate 'im."

"What, should I just let him be?" Jeongguk frowned, irritated at his uncle's calm demeanor. "This guy doesn't have even half a thought left for people like me! What if he starts showing up with his friends? Then I'm fucked, Sejin."

"We'll figure somethin' out when that happens, Gguk. If it happens." The old man glanced at him, neutral as ever as he moved to the sink. "You said he's actin' off when he's there with ya?"

Jeongguk sighed heavily and got up, moving to help Sejin with the dishes. "Yeah. He's all quiet and shit, like... like a robot. In school he's usually an obnoxious asshole, you can hear his boasts across the entire hall when he's there," he explained as he dried off the dishes Sejin had already rinsed. He didn't mention that over a month had passed since he attended school.

"But in the woods, when we're alone, he's... detached. To be honest, he seems like he's lost," he admitted then. Silence followed as his uncle seemed to take his words in, thinking the entire situation over.

"Well, like I said... If he does anythin' you'll let me know." Sejin huffed and crossed his arms. "But if he doesn't... Let 'im stay. Some lonely souls out there are so lost that they latch onto the first sign of safety. Even if that safety is sharin' a bit of silence with their dealer."

Jeongguk snorted as his uncle gave him a pointed look, eyes sharp as they rake over him. "Yeah yeah, whatever. We'll see how long it goes," he muttered. But as he retreated to his room, he couldn't help but mull over what Sejin said.

The next morning when Jeongguk went straight back to the picnic table to have a quick smoke before work, he didn't even bat an eyelash when he spotted the hazel colored head already there, and neither did V when the black haired dealer sat down across him and pulled out a cig.

They were supposed to be at school right now and they both knew it, but instead they sat there, sharing a smoke and silence.

The entire time V never bothered to explain why he was so adamant about being there, so Jeongguk didn't bother asking either.

Weeks turned into months, and sooner or later Jeongguk couldn't deny that what used to be a once-in-a-while encounter for both of them, was now something he expected every time he went to his spot. V would show up out of nowhere, silently and almost like he was waiting for Jeongguk to show up, and the latter couldn't help but wonder what the hell was up with that guy.

After four months had passed and summer bled into late autumn, Jeongguk had no choice but to get used to V's company. The latter never showed up with his friends like Jeongguk feared. He always came alone, always with his sleek mercedes, and Jeongguk did exactly what his uncle Sejin told him to do - tolerate.

The thirtieth-or-so time Jeongguk met V there in the woods, things changed.

Jeongguk was already sat on the table, with his feet on the bench and cigarette stuck in between his lips when V joined. The orange mercedes was nowhere on sight. Instead, the king of Darryl High was on foot, looking like he came straight from school with his backpack still hanging from his shoulders and an ungodly amount of gel in his hazelnut colored hair.

Jeongguk frowned at the sight, and not unreasonably - Darryl High was around 5 miles or so from here, and no person in their right mind walked that distance in November, just before winter came.

But V did, apparently, because his feet seemed to drag across the leaf-covered ground ass he approached. He plopped down unceremoniously on the table next to the other senior, and the smell of sweat and cigarette smoke hit Jeongguk's nose.

Instead of ignoring him like Jeongguk usually did, he couldn't help but to turn and take his time examining the other. Sweat and disheveled hair aside, V didn't seem out of the ordinary at first.

He stoically stared straight ahead as Jeongguk stared at him, not bothered to even greet. But there was something... soft in his facial expression. Not in a good way, no. If that were the case then V's eyes wouldn't be red and glossy. His lips wouldn't be bitten raw, almost to the point of bleeding, and his shoulders wouldn't hang down like he was a wounded dog.

It was something that seemed... broken.

The more Jeongguk looked at V, the more he felt like he was invading something very personal, and so it took him less than a minute to pull himself together and turn away, quietly going back to smoking and staring at the grey clouds above them.

V shuffled on the spot, knees drawn close to his chest as he planted his chin on them, shoulders shaking. From the corner of his eye, Jeongguk saw... tears.

Tears forming in V's eyes, and rolling down his cheeks before they disappeared in the fabric of his jeans. The student didn't say a word, didn't even make a sound as he cried, no matter how much he trembled and shook.

Unease and mortification grew in Jeongguk as they sat there. This may have been the most emotion he ever saw from V, and he wasn't sure what to do with it. So, he just sat there, granting V his company and what he hoped to be the comfort of not being alone. At least not entirely.

Around 15 minutes or more had passed when V finally seemed to calm down, still making no noise as he began to wipe the wetness off his face.

"Sorry," he whispered then, the single word cutting through the quiet like a knife. Jeongguk could only guess what V was apologizing for, because he certainly hoped that it wasn't for the crying.

Less than a second of thinking later, he grabbed his bag from under the table and rummaged in its pockets until he found it - a folded tissue, made of white fabric that felt incredibly soft to the skin. He had never used it, only kept it out of pure habit, and now he didn't waste a single thought as he handed it to V.

"It's alright," he found himself saying as he got up. "I've been there too."

V stared at the snow white fabric in his hands, then at Jeongguk. Oh, the difference that a few tears could make, turning those pitch black eyes into something sorrowful, almost puppy like. Those eyes looked at Jeongguk like he just plucked the moon from the sky and handed it to him.

Suddenly in the middle of something far outside his comfort zone, Jeongguk shrugged and turned. This time it was him walking away, and leaving a confused king behind.

When he returned to the spot just two day later, the very same fabric tissue was waiting for him, lying washed and neatly folded on the table with a simple note attached to it.

Jeongguk held the note delicately between his fingers, reading it maybe twice or thrice before he tucked it in his pocket and put the tissue back in where it belonged.

thank you
-taehyung (V)

Chapter Text

"I hate football."

...

Jeongguk turned slowly, cigarette hanging from his lips as he looked at the boy across from him. "...You're the team captain."

V didn't look back, only up into the sky as if he was counting the clouds. "Ironic, isn't it?"

After the crying incident, things were different, and yet not at all. Jeongguk and V still spent many days a week at their spot, sharing silence, cigarettes and, on occasion, a joint. But after that day, their shared silence grew more and more comfortable.

Any tension that had still lingered was gone entirely and now, that table in the woods felt like a sanctuary island - a pocket universe, existing outside of Darryl. Outside of Texas and America and Earth. A tiny planet, for two lost souls to retreat to whenever they needed it.

Just yesterday Jeongguk had been back in school for the first time in 5 weeks, and was hit with the revelation that the persona, this King act that V- no, that Taehyung put on was gone. Dead. The king was no more. 

No more boisterous laughs echoing in the cafeteria. No more jokes traded between V and his rowdy friends. It was all... gone. Taehyung now spent his breaks outside, or in the hallway, or God knows where, but definitely not in the cafeteria. His "friends" still acted like empty-headed dickheads, but V was no longer in the middle, watching as they fucked shit up and acted like royalty.

Looking back, Jeongguk realized in bafflement that this change had been going on for months - he just never noticed because he got used to ignoring the asshats that were the football players, and that included V. It was only now, after everything he learned, that this change stuck to him like an angry splinter.

He never said anything about it to V, because even after the incident they never exchanged much in words. Until today, at least.

V was lying directly on the table, limbs spread out. He was huddled in a thick, dark blue winter jacket and white scarf, and a woolen hat covered his hazel colored hair and kept it out of his eyes as he watched the clouds pass over them.

Jeongguk was on the bench next to him, sitting like a normal person this once as he struggled to light up his cigarette. A quiet string of curses fell from his mouth as his lighter just wouldn't fucking light.

Without another word, V pulled something from his back pocket, then held a silvery, expensive looking lighter to Jeongguk. The latter accepted it just as quietly and finally lit his cig.

"Thanks," he muttered and tried to hand the lighter back to Taehyung, but the boy didn't make any move to accept it. A bit confused, Jeongguk instead put the lighter next to Taehyung's arm and exhaled a cloud of smoke into the air. 

The clouds above them slowly turned from white to the lightest shade of baby pink as the sun lowered to set.

"So, if you hate football," Jeongguk hummed and took another drag from the cig before he continued. "Why are you captain? Or even in the team?"

Taehyung didn't answer at first, and Jeongguk soon thought that he wouldn't get a reply at all when the other spoke again. "I tried to leave." his head turned to the side as he eyed the forest around them, trees illuminated by the orange light of the sunset. "My parents didn't let me. Said that quitting would be the most horrible move for my career, and took my car away to teach me responsibility."

Jeongguk only hummed in response as the words woke up a few memories he had buried long ago. Images of a screaming mouth and a hand flying towards him flitted through his mind, but he shook them off with a simple shrug. When he offered Taehyung the cigarette, the latter took it and relaxed into the slow drag, smoke blown into the sky as he sighed it out.

"Only what works best for me. That's what comes first," he muttered. "What I want can matter after I secured my future at my dad's company. That's what they said."

Jeongguk snorted before he could stop himself. He plucked the cigarette from Taehyung's fingers and put it back between his own lips. "You'd think that at 18 years old you'd be able to make your own decisions."

The laugh that came from Taehyung's throat was nothing but hollow, empty. "You'd think so, wouldn't you," he agreed once his depressed laughter subsided and sat up, arms propped up on his knees as he stared directly into the sunset. His face was colored orange and red, and Jeongguk couldn't help but think that while those colors looked good on him, they felt incredibly displaced paired with the hollowness in Taehyung's eyes, and the hard lines on his face.

Sitting there, captivated by the expression on Taehyung's face and the way the light got caught in it, Jeongguk spoke before he properly thought about it. "If your parents were gone," he said. "Like, if they suddenly moved out right now and your future belonged to you, what would you do?"

Taehyung continued to stare into the sunset. A strand of hair slowly slid down his forehead and fell over his eye. "I'd leave," he muttered then and for the first time today, he turned and looked Jeongguk straight in the eyes. "I'd go far, far away and leave everything behind."

The wind whistled softly around them as they held up eye contact, silence saying more than words ever could as they quietly agreed on one thing - this town, and all the people in it, was fucked.

That night, Jeongguk went to bed with the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he had found an ally in Taehyung.

And maybe, just maybe, Taehyung shared that sentiment, because now it seemed that he was hellbent on filling each of their... meetups with words. Never mindless chatter, their topics were too serious for it. But from that day on, Taehyung started each of their smoking breaks with a statement.

"I always wanted a dog. A small one. My parents won't let me."

"My dad is a loanshark."

"I always wanted to be a painter."

"I'm still attending school because the alternative is going home and facing my parents' wrath."

"My grandmother once got me expensive art supplies. My parents took them and I still don't know what happened to them."

"My parents are gone." was the first Jeongguk said a few weeks later, when he and Taehyung found each other at their spot again and Taehyung had yet to start ranting. (When had it become their spot? Jeongguk couldn't remember.) 

Taehyung didn't outright acknowledge what Jeongguk said, only looked at Jeongguk as he sat down across from the boy. His expression was as neutral as ever, but by now Jeongguk could tell the minor changes in those hard, marble-like lines. He could see the opening in that stone cold mask, the willingness to listen and to learn something about Jeongguk for once.

"Not gone gone," he corrected himself, fingers already fiddling with his pack of cigarettes as he looked away. "They're alive. They just... Don't have enough fucks left to give about their kid." he continued as he pulled out a cig and realized in absolute bafflement that the lighter he usually kept in the pack wasn't his own, but rather Taehyung's. The silvery, sleek storm lighter that probably cost ten times as much as Jeongguk's shitty little lighter from the gas station.

Taehyung didn't hesitate to take a cig himself when Jeongguk offered, sticking it between his teeth and reaching in his pocket for the very same silvery object that somehow had found its way into Jeongguk's bag. The jock didn't even blink when Jeongguk sheepishly handed him the lighter. "So you live alone?" Taehyung asked quietly and... handed the lighter back after firing up his cig.

Confused, Jeongguk just left the lighter on the table, right between them. "I don't." he shrugged and lifted one foot on the bench, knee pressing against his chest. "My uncle heard that my parents left me at home a lot, even back when I was a toddler, and he pulled every connection he had to get legal custody of me."

It took them both a moment to notice that crystal whites had begun to fall down around them. They stared up at the sky, captivated by the first snowfall this year. Hypnotized, Jeongguk watched as a snowflake slowly descended on Taehyung, landing on his sharp nose and melting immediately from the warmth.

When he, belatedly, noticed that Taehyung was watching him with the same intensity that he had been watching Taehyung with, he broke off the eye contact and took a deep drag from his cigarette.

"He got custody easily, the connections weren't necessary," he continued then, hand drawing absentminded symbols in the snow that had begun to cover the table. "My parents were more than happy to let go of me. They moved to Sweden as soon as they signed off the papers. That was eight years ago, haven't heard from them since." he shrugged.

"And your uncle," Taehyung began softly, exhaling a gust of smoke out into the night. Snow stuck to his hair and clothing, melted against his warm skin. "What's he like?" 

Jeongguk considered the question, head tilting back to gaze at the sky. It was all grey and dark, the sun long gone behind the heavy veil of clouds. 

"Old," he said finally, voice filled with a hint of amusement. "Grumpy, weary-- and drinks too much and sleeps too little. But he's good to me, and he's honest. He... He took care of me even when I was an absolute shithead." he winced at the many times he outright rejected his uncle, calling him names and even leaving food untouched out of stubbornness. "To be fair, I was a kid and traumatized. But still, brat. God, I wish I could punch the fourteen year old me in the face, he deserved it."

Something on Taehyung's face twitched, and suddenly he was laughing. It wasn't much, just a light wheeze, followed by a soft chuckle. But it was far from the hollow laugh that Jeongguk had heard last week, and in that moment he decided that he liked the sound of Taehyung's genuine laughter.

God, if only Jeongguk could remember the day the relationship between him and V suddenly shifted.

One day he would struggle to spend even just ten minutes with Taehyung, yet the next he'd sit on the table, waiting (somewhat) patiently for the silhouette to appear in the distance.

He did remember the first time Taehyung made one of his strange confessions, but since when had that become a regular enough occurrence that Jeongguk didn't even bat an eyelash anymore?

It was one very, very late and not exactly lonely evening when Jeongguk realized it. That he unwillingly had let his shields down, that he couldn't see Taehyung as a bad guy anymore even though that was all the jock had been until a few months ago. His mental image of Taehyung had completely changed, and gone from one extremely low end to an extremely high one.

Fuck. Months. It had been months already. What the hell happened?

Without thinking, Jeongguk turned around, shifting on the old table he was once again sitting on until he was face to face with the aforementioned jock, who was busy watching the stars. Once again. Jeongguk felt a mixture of many feelings well up in him as he stared at the other, cogs turning in all kinds of directions in his head.

"What?" Taehyung barely moved, only looking at Jeongguk for a brief moment before he turned back to the stars. He looked like some sort of medieval scholar, trying to find his purpose in the sky.

Jeongguk didn't answer immediately. He needed to think first, sort out the right words, but ultimately all that came out was, "I used to really hate you, you know."

Taehyung would've frozen on the spot if he wasn't already sitting there like solid rock. A pained marble statue with the backdrop of galaxies. 

"Back then." Jeongguk clarified, hands unconsciously picking at his pants before he began to gesture around. "Before... this happened, whatever this is. When you were still acting like a king on constant high ground."

Taehyung let out a soft snort and leaned back on his hands, eyes still stuck to the stars which slowly but surely began to unnerve Jeongguk. "I wasn't very nice, was I?" he muttered, which immediately brought out a brief, rather harsh laugh from Jeongguk.

"You kidding?" he asked, hand automatically finding the lighter in his pocket and pulling it out to fiddle around. 'Very nice' was an understatement more than anything. Sure, Taehyung, or V, had never done anything directly.

But that didn't mean that Jeongguk could just forget the times Taehyung stood on the side and watched as Jeongguk got a fist shoved up his nose. Nor could he forget the snide comments that Taehyung did throw his away when they were in earlier grades. Taehyung had changed, but he wasn't innocent.

"You were... You were rough sometimes, man," Jeongguk shrugged, and watched as his exhaled breaths turned into little clouds of fog before disappearing in the air. "There may be an insecurity or two that I had thanks to you. You're just... not in the top ten worst bullies I ever had, so I don't really care."

That last comment made Taehyung turn, eyes wide as he stared at Jeongguk. A heartbeat or two of tense silence followed, before Taehyung's shoulders sunk down, silhouette growing just a little smaller. 

Jeongguk was about to open his mouth and say something, anything, but Taehyung was faster and beat him to it.

"For what it's worth," he started, slowly as if tasting the words first, weighing them on his tongue before he let them roll out. "I'm sorry. I really am. I don't know why I was being a dick but you really didn't deserve to be at the receiving end for it."

Jeongguk looked back at him. "Like I said," he muttered and turned back to his lighter. "I don't care."

(He did.)

Taehyung looked at Jeongguk. Really looked at him. "I do," he muttered then. The fingers around the lighters halted, freezing in place after Taehyung spoke, but Jeongguk still refused to turn, focusing on the lighter instead like it was the most interesting thing in the whole world.

"I know that my behavior during high school was obnoxious at best,-"

"You can say that again," Jeongguk snorted, but quietened down again, leaving room for Taehyung to speak. He wanted to know where the jock would go with that line.

Taehyung huffed softly next to him, and that's when Jeongguk realized that Taehyung had inched closer. Another pair of feet had joined where his rested on the bench, once again sitting in many ways except for the normal one.

"I know," the jock sighed. From the corner of his eye, Jeongguk could see tan hands fiddling, wiping sweat off his pants even though it was winter. "A-and I know that just words won't do anything right. I just want you to know that I'm... I'm trying. I don't want to be an asshole anymore, and I hate that I was once one. I just... I just want to be me, so... I'm trying."

Jeongguk inhaled deeply, teeth absentmindedly chewing on his lip as he thought it over. He wasn't stupid, he could tell that there was a double meaning behind that "I'm trying." A double meaning Taehyung may not even be conscious of, or whatever. "I know." he decided to say then, and he meant it. 

Just suddenly becoming a smoke buddy for the past months didn't exactly count as making up for things, but Jeongguk could tell that something was different, and it came right from Taehyung's core. Besides, it wasn't like Jeongguk expected some grand gesture from the other side to ask for his forgiveness, nor did he want that. Not from Taehyung, anyway. 

Taehyung's worst Asshole™ phase happened years ago, long before they became... whatever this arrangement was.

It got quiet between them. Not an unpleasant kind of quiet, more a... contemplative one. Taehyung returned his gaze to the stars, tracing the shape of constellations with his eyes.

"Hey, Taehyung." Jeongguk softly called out, and Taehyung gave a soft hum. "Quit football."

The boy next to him turned, eyes wide opened in what was probably confusion, but Jeongguk just stuffed the lighter back in his pocket and pushed himself off the table. On a second thought, he turned around, examining the jock. "You want to change, right? And be yourself?"

Taehyung nodded lightly, and understanding began to bleed into his expression.

"Then the answer's plain." Jeongguk shrugged, hands in his front pockets. "Stop surrounding yourself with the things you hate. The Taehyung I know doesn't like football."

"Hey? You alive, man?" 

Jeongguk frowned, watching as a far away, way too underdressed Taehyung slowly dragged himself forward, clutching his bag like he was sick or something. His right eye seemed strange, almost unrealistically bigger than the other and darker, and there were darker splotches on his face.

It was only when Taehyung had almost reached him that Jeongguk realized what those splotches were. He couldn't even say anything, only stood there with parted lips and cig held halfway in midair. It was especially the swollen, bruised eye that Jeongguk couldn't look away from.

"Don't worry," Taehyung grinned then and laughed, actually laughed, but only briefly before his face tensed up in pain. "You should see the other guy."

"Yeah no, I'd rather not, thanks," Jeongguk said slowly, still having to take the sight in. Then, his brain began to function again and he hopped off the table. "Sit. Don't move," he ordered as he pointed to the bench before walking off to his car, cigarette lying abandoned in the metal ashtray that they began to keep at their spot. (Their spot? Fucking hell.)

He rummaged around the backseats for a while until he found what he needed and got back, too unbothered to hide his surprise that Taehyung actually listened to him, sitting patiently on the bench and waiting for Jeongguk to come back.

To be fair, Jeongguk didn't know where Taehyung would even go to, other than the fucking table. The way he sat there just told Jeongguk even more that he had nowhere to go.

Taehyung looked like he really wanted to pull a face when he spotted the first aid kit in Jeongguk's cold, reddened fingers. But then a roughened up, yet warm blanket was swiftly wrapped around him to help with the cold, and that'd probably when any complaint flew out the window. Even as Jeongguk took one of those disinfecting wipes and tackled the cuts bruises littered all over Taehyung, from his pretty face to his busted hands, Taehyung remained quiet.

Jeongguk didn't even think before he got into action. He leaned down, right into Taehyung's face and began to care for his wounds like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

And Taehyung? Taehyung just let him. 

Sure, there were winces here and there, and stuttered breaths and frowns when the alcohol hit his vulnerable skin. But the entire time, even as Jeongguk smeared ointment right on the bruised skin of the left eye, Taehyung seemed wide awake and watching Jeongguk, gaze fixated on him like he's a fascinating phenomenon.

"What happened?" Jeongguk asked quietly, breaking the silence between them as he began to patch up each individual cut. Taehyung blinked rapidly, as if having to tune back into reality before he answered.

"...Got into a fight with someone," he huffed, absentmindedly rubbing the bruised knuckles of his right hand. The skin was slowly but steadily swelling and turning into shades of blue, only intercepted by the occasional red cut and scrape. "Got him better than he did me, though. He said that he-... he said something I didn't... approve of. But he was being a bitch about it, so..."

Jeongguk only snorted, shaking his head as he moved from the cut on Taehyung's eyebrow to the one crossing the line of his upper lip. 

"Shit, okay then." he muttered and sprayed something disinfecting on the cut, whispering a quiet apology when the sting of the alcohol made Taehyung flinch. "Remind me to never disagree with you, V."

Taehyung rolled his eyes and leaned back when Jeongguk was done, hands behind him on the table to hold himself up. "Not you. You're fine," he said rather earnestly, eyes piercing through Jeongguk the same way they always did. Jeongguk broke the eye contact after less than five seconds. "He had it coming, fucking Wu, son of a..."

Jeongguk froze. "Wait, Wu?" he asked, frown forming on his face as he stopped in the middle of packing up the med kit. "You mean Kris Wu? You beat up Kris Wu?" he repeated. Taehyung frowned back, nodding briefly.

"Yes?" he answered. "I did. Like I said, he was being a bitch."

Jeongguk blinked again.

Kris Wu was one of the few people Jeongguk still knew back from elementary school. Beyond that, he was also one of Jeongguk's worst tormentors. While acting like a sweet little angel in front of teachers and parents, Kris had bullied Jeongguk for almost a decade now, always relentless and skilled in hiding the physical and psychological torture he would put Jeongguk through. 

Hell, Jeongguk had literal scars left from some of those instances, including the ones on his cheek and lip that were more visible than he liked.

'Speaking of the top ten guys that are worse than Taehyung,' Jeongguk thought sarcastically, remembering the conversation they had recently.

Kris Wu also just happened to be one of the people V used to hang out with, before Taehyung suddenly began his arc to become a loner. They may not necessarily be friends still, if they were even friends when V was still on top, but that didn't make Jeongguk any less surprised to learn that Taehyung just casually beat up the equivalent of Dolores Jane Umbridge.

"You okay, Jeon?" 

Taehyung's concerned inquiry pulled Jeongguk back into reality.

"I'm fine," he said automatically, blinking rapidly as he finished packing up. For a second, he thought about telling Taehyung about his past with Kris. He considered it, considered saying what it meant to him to hear that Kris finally got a taste of that which he had been distributing the past years. He considered thanking Taehyung, and telling him that he did good.

But Jeongguk didn't. 

That conversation would be saved for another day at their spot, when Jeongguk would feel particularly angry at the world, and be even more eager to share that anger. 

Instead, he simply sat down on the bench next to Taehyung on the table, kept his mouth shut and offered him a cig. He only shared another of many, hundreds of smokes with the guy on the other end of their hierarchy. If Taehyung noticed the distance between them steadily growing smaller and smaller then he didn't mention it.

In return, Jeongguk didn't mention that with those cuts on his face and the strange, dark glint in his eyes, Taehyung had looked more alive that night than in the past 3 months combined.

Nor did he mention any of the thoughts circling around in his head.

What on earth happened to "the king of Darryl High"?

What kind of animal flayed V open and pulled back the layers, leaving behind a depressed, grey colored Taehyung?

What was it that stole Taehyung's laughter?

"We don't celebrate Christmas," was the third thing Jeongguk ever admitted to Taehyung, just one week before exactly the event he spoke of. Taehyung, as always, didn't outright answer, but the soft turn of his head told Jeongguk that he was listening. "My uncle and I. We never did. Not really, anyway." he huffed and stuffed his hands deep in his pockets, a weak attempt to keep the cold of the snow covered land at bay.

"I mean, we don't put up a Christmas tree or any decoration. There's no special dinner either... That sounds sadder than it is," he laughed. "The one Christmas-y thing we do is leave gifts for each other, by our beds. Well, on the couch for him. Because we love each other a lot, we just can't say it because we're idiots and bad with emotions."

Next to him, Taehyung made a huffing sound that almost sounded like a laugh. "Sounds like heaven to me if I'm gonna be honest," he muttered and smiled down at the cigarette in his hands. "My parents do celebrate it, just not... Not with family."

Jeongguk frowned, head turning a little sideways. "Hm? Without family?" he asked, confused what Taehyung meant. Glancing at him, Taehyung shrugged and clarified.

"They throw a party on the 25th, but it's a typical business party. With suits and champagne, all that. I mean, they do get me something each year, but it's always some sort of fucking gift card or credit or whatever."

"Oh wow," Jeongguk sighed and laughed breathlessly. Little clouds of fog flew up into the air in front of him. "Sorry, man, but that sounds so fucking boring. If my parents did that, I would send back a gift card, but for a sex store."

That comment made Taehyung laugh as well, cigarette almost falling from his fingers as he shook. "God no!" he wheezed. "I'd be aborted at the age of 18!"

"Worth it." Jeongguk shrugged and smirked. He'd never admit it out loud, but he felt a little proud for making Taehyung laugh for real a second time. Hell would have to freeze over firet before he'd tell anyone that, though.

"Tell you what," Taehyung grinned then and leaned towards Jeongguk. The bruises around his nose and eye looked much better than they had several days ago, and there was a glint in those black eyes that Jeongguk really didn't know if he liked or not. "I'll bet you five bucks that this year, they're going to get me a gift card from Best Buy."

Jeongguk snorted. "Sounds stupid. I'm in."

Over a week later, just a day after Christmas Eve, Taehyung turned up with a gift card in his hand.

"What is it?" Jeongguk called out as soon as he saw the jock from afar, voice just a little slurred. He had no idea if it was from the cold or the alcohol bottle he clutched in his hands. 

Taehyung stood still for a moment before holding up the paper card. Even from the distance of 30 feet, Jeongguk recognized the obnoxious blue and orange, and doubled over in laughter.

When they met again a few days later, they did nothing but stare up into the sky as they lay side by side on the table. Jeongguk made a stupid attempt at counting the stars when Taehyung glanced at the watch on his wrist before he whispered.

"It's three minutes before midnight."

Jeongguk turned towards him briefly, glancing at the hardened mask he was wearing once again before turning back to the sky. "Yeah?"

"Yeah..." A deep inhale. "No one wished me a happy Birthday yet."

Those words sank between them, feeling foreign and heavy, like an anchor slowly sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Jeongguk blinked. He could tell from the corner of his eye that Taehyung was stoically staring straight up, tension bleeding into his shoulders and face as the silence went on.

"Happy birthday, Taehyung."

Their noses were reddened from the cold, and the snow pressing into their backs stole any warmth they still had left, and yet Jeongguk felt like nothing could take away the warmth that Taehyung's smile brought to bloom.

Chapter Text

Taehyung's blood was all over the front seat of the old, rusty chevy.

“Sorry.” He croaked out, his hands cupped under his cheek as the blood pooled in his palms, some of it slipping between his fingers to land on his jeans. He watched the drops fall, bright crimson dots that stood in stark contrast against his light wash jeans. 

He remembered in that moment that he ran out of stain stick last week and didn't buy new ones yet.

Jeon didn't say anything, only stuck his key in the car's lock before reaching across Taehyung's lap to open the glove box. He rifled expertly through the revealed CDs, bags and road maps before pulling out a crumpled mass of takeout napkins. "They’re clean," he muttered and handed them over. 

One handed, Taehyung took the napkins from him and immediately stuck them to his nose. “Thanks," he slurred, his mouth hot and swollen. 

"Don’t mention it,"  Jeon huffed as he started the car and immediately pulled away from the school, running over grass and gravel. The bumpy road flared up the sharp pain in Taehyung's shoulder, and he hissed when it knocked back against the worn out car seat.

"Kim fuckin' V."

A hand shoved forward, slamming Taehyung's locker shut as a tall, rough looking boy leaned into his personal space. Taehyung, albeit unimpressed, automatically stepped back, still holding his opened bag. "Can I help you?"

The boy narrowed his eyes as he examined Taehyung, gaze moving up and down his body before he tssked. "You really fell off, didn't you?" he snarled. "Why else would you be dumb enough to punch my little brother in the face?"

Realization dawned on Taehyung. The one currently invading his personal space was none other than Michael Wu, oldest brother of Kris Wu and a confirmed alcoholic with an anger issue. Last news about him were that Michael was in prison for assaulting a police officer.

Taehyung had exactly two seconds to curse himself out before a fist came flying towards him, hitting him straight in the nose. He felt the crack more than he heard it before he stumbled back against the locker, the metal likely leaving bruises on his back as Michael shoved him against it for good measure.

A heavily tattooed hand gripped Taehyung's collar as another fist buried itself in his cheek, and his head flew back from the impact, hitting the lockers again. Taehyung hissed from the pain, air punched out of his lungs before he was pulled forward and kicked down to the floor. 

Hands clenching into fists, Taehyung groaned deeply as he tried to breathe. He was only subconsciously aware of the warm fluid dripping from his nose and gathering on the floor, pain drowning out any other signals his brain was trying to send out. When he finally forced his eyes to open and looked up, the first thing he saw were familiar doe eyes, more wide than usual and filled with an emotion Taehyung couldn't make out.

Looking like a black swan amongst owls, Jeon stood out in the crowd of students gathering around the spectacle that was Taehyung getting his ass handed to him.

'What's he doing here?' he thought briefly before realizing that the emotion in Jeon's eyes was fear. He was scared, openly so and his head was going back and forth between Taehyung and his assaulter. He looked like he was considering doing something stupid.

Taehyung had half the mind to shake his head, to say no to whatever dumb idea was forming in Jeon's head before a hand grabbed Taehyung's shoulder and pulled, forcing him on his back. Michael stood above him, looking every bit like he wanted to kill Taehyung, and at this point the latter wasn't entirely sure that Michael wouldn't.

"Don't fuck-" another fist flew into Taehyung's nose, sending his head back crashing into the floor, "-ing mess with my brother, you fucking fag!" Another fist, into his chin. At this point, pain was all Taehyung could feel. His body pumped adrenaline into his veins, trying to help, but Michael quite literally had him in a tight grip. Through blurred vision, Taehyung watched as his assaulted raised his fist again, aiming for the nose, and Taehyung's eyelids fell shut, waiting.

...Waiting. 

Waiting a second too long when the grip on his chest disappeared.

Taehyung opened his eyes just in time to see Michael falling back with a muffled "UGH!", hand flying up to his nose that began to bleed very quickly. Taehyung slowly looked back towards the crowd behind him, but his view was blocked by one entire Jeon, moving quickly to pull Taehyung up and on his feet.

The realization came on Taehyung's foggy mind that while Michael was leaning right above him, Jeon had taken the chance and kicked Michael straight in the face with his shoes. His wonderful, heavy, spiked platform shoes.

"Come on, we gotta go before he gets up," Jeon huffed right into Taehyung's ear. He didn't need to be told twice, they immediately began jogging (in Taehyung's case, stumbling) through the parting crowd and down the hallway.

"GODDAMMIT, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!" Michael screamed after them, but by time he was back on his feet they were long out the front door.

"We’re almost on the road." Jeon reassured, as quiet as ever.

Taehyung closed his eyes, tried to focus on breathing, on the rise and fall of his chest as Jeon's old van rumbled over the dirt. The napkins in his hand were already dampening, ugly yellow turning into a dark red, and Taehyung prayed that his nosebleed would stop before more dripped over Jeon's interior.

His dad was going to murder him. Well, if Michael didn't get to him first.

God, he hoped his parents were gone by now, that they were at whatever function they’d spoken about attending today. He hoped that they would drink enough to go straight to bed when they would be home, and that they wouldn't check on their son out of pure exhaustion and drunkenness.

Taehyung exhaled deeply when they finally reached the road, the asphalt far more forgiving on his stiff and aching shoulder that took a hit when he slammed into the lockers. “You can take a right up here,” he muttered when they approached the stop sign. “I don’t live far from here. Just in the center of Darryl."

Jeon snorted humorlessly. “Yeah right, like I’m gonna take you home right now.” The van slowed before turning to the left, straight into the woods. “Your nose is flooding like a waterfall and your shoulder has a fifty-fifty chance of being dislocated. We're taking care of that first."

Taehyung only groaned. He didn't want to admit that he was relieved at the prospect at getting to stall his parents for a little more. "Alright," he sighed. Then, something crossed his mind. "...You shouldn't have done that," He turned to Jeon, watching as the dealer grinned crookedly. 

"What, you mean bashing that dickhead in the face?" Jeon laughed, though it sounded anything but happy. Taehyung's eyes stuck automatically to the revealed bunny teeth, having never noticed them before until now that they were less than a foot apart.

"He's going to kill you for that." he insisted, but Jeon waved him off, frowning and narrowing his eyes as he turned to look back Taehyung.

"He was going to kill you!" he gestured passionately, voice raising in volume but not yelling - not quite. "Right then and there, in front of everyone!" With a heavy sigh, Jeon turned back to the road, chest deflating even though his grip on the steering wheel never waned. 

"Besides," he said after a few heartbeats of silence. "He can't do any serious shit to me. You don't mess with the only dealer in a fifteen mile radius, not if you want to get your ass beaten with another ass."

Taehyung snorted, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly. "What, did Hyunjin go out of business?" he asked, more as an offhanded joke than a serious question.

"Mhm, he's leaving Darryl to study. He got accepted into his dream university, can't blame him," Jeon explained. Then, his head snapped to Taehyung so quick that his neck should've broken instantly. "Wait, why do you know Hyunjin?!" 

Taehyung chuckled, chest shaking despite the the pain it sent through his shoulder. "Oh, you know," he tried to defend himself, but Jeon interrupted, lips slowly curling into a smile as he ranted on.

"-the fuck, dude? Be faithful to your dealer, you ungrateful son of a bitch!" he screeched, and Taehyung's chuckle turned into full on laughter. "I mean, I get it. I'm just also massively offended!"

"You're welcome," Taehyung giggled as Jeon parked the chevy on grass. The dealer was already getting out of the car when Taehyung realized that they were at the picnic table, the spot where they usually smoked. 

"C’mon, your highness,” Jeon called as he knocked against Taehyung's window before opening the door and holding out his hand, an open invitation. "Bandages and painkillers await.”

Taehyung looked at the hand, looked at the boy who risked his own safety and was still so hell-bent on helping Taehyung even though he didn't even know his first name. In that moment he decided that nothing was worth more than this boy's friendship.

"I don't even know your name," he whispered into the silence when they got close to his home. It was about two hours later and Taehyung was now all patched up and not bleeding anymore, and he had finally convinced Jeon to just take him home (even though he really didn't want to.)

Jeon turned to look at him, but Taehyung stared straight ahead, deeply ashamed that he didn't even know who the person was that had helped him the third time in a row. Silence stretched on again, but it wasn't the comfortable, familiar quiet that they usually shared. It was tense and odd, and Taehyung hated all of it.

"It's Jeon Jungkook."

Right in front of them, the sun began to set, flooding the town with warm shades reminding Taehyung of summer.

"Well, Jeongguk actually. J-U-N-G-K-O-O-K is the americanized version, or whatever."

Slowly, Taehyung did end up turning and glancing at the boy in the driver's seat. Jeongguk didn't look at him either though, only kept staring at the road even when the sun shone straight into his dark eyes.

"감사합니다 전정국."

In the sun, Jeongguk's pale skin turned into shades of orange and red and pink.

'Thank you, Jeon Jeongguk.'

Taehyung decided that he really liked the view of Jeongguk in the sunset.

"'Ello," Jeongguk muttered, strangely tired and exhausted despite it being 12pm on a Friday. "I see we're both skipping again? What's it today? Physics?"

Taehyung squinted at him, hood pulled far over his head to hide the bruises littering his face. "Yeah," he sighed and scooted a bit to the side to make space for the other, lit cigarette between his fingers for the first time in a while. "You?" he asked back. It had kinda become a habit for them to keep track on which subject they were skipping whenever they happened to meet on a school day.

"PE." Jeongguk huffed when he landed rather heavily on the table, the wood creaking suspiciously under the added weight. "Hell, it's not even the class itself. I literally work out."

'Yeah, I noticed.' Taehyung bit his lip harshly to stop the comment from coming out, subconsciously eyeing Jeongguk's steadily sharpening face and growing biceps before he got back to his senses. "You got Mr. Bauman, right?"

"Yep. And. He. Sucks." Jeongguk leaned forward, pretending to retch at the mention of the teacher's name. Taehyung felt himself smile amused at the theatrical antics. "It's bad enough that he's a sixty-something man who has never done any exercise in his life, but he also looks at the younger boys like he wants to eat them for dinner!"

Okay, that... Taehyung wasn't aware of that either. "That's disgusting," he commented quietly, already pulling out his lighter when he saw the cig pack in Jeongguk's hand. "Wait, isn't he also the one rumored to have married his step-niece back in South Carolina?"

"Dear God, don't remind me." Jeongguk groaned and leaned back until he lay on the table, absentmindedly sticking a cigarette between his lips and not even blinking when Taehyung lit it for him. "This man is exactly why I even started skipping school in the first place. Wait, actually, you can't convince me that he didn't cause the downfall of the entire school. Let's blame him for everything."

Taehyung snorted. "There's only one solution." he nodded solemnly. "Blame the white guy."

Jeongguk squinted at him, then grinned and fistbumped him. "Blame the white guy." he repeated, chuckling quietly to himself before he sat up again. "Speaking of white guys, is he also to blame for that sour expression you got there?" he asked then, vaguely pointing to Taehyung's entire face.

Taehyung blinked, eyes switching back and forth between the finger waving in his face and the person the finger belonged to. "I don't have a sour expression," he frowned, immediately defensive for no reason whatsoever. Jeongguk raised his eyebrows at him, rather pointedly.

"Is what he said, just as his face turned even more sour." he narrated, smirking mischievously when Taehyung rolled his eyes. "Seriously though, you okay? Or do you want me to kick someone in the face again?"

"Jesus, please don't. One time was more than a enough."

"Hm. Pity."

Taehyung shook his head, taking a long drag and blowing the smoke up into the air. "I still think you shouldn't have done it." he muttered.

"Well, that's too damn bad." Jeongguk shrugged and layed down again, staring straight up into the sky the way Taehyung usually did. 

A few minutes of silence passed, only occasionally broken by them audibly exhaling smoke, or Jeongguk humming a foreign melody. Without giving it a real thought, Taehyung opened his mouth to finally speak what was on his mind.

"I've been thinking a lot recently."

"Yeah, people kinda tend to do that." Jeongguk interrupted, smiling apologetically when Taehyung turned to give him the stink-eye. "Sorry, sorry. I had a bit too much caffeine today. Keep going, I won't interrupt again." he promised, and Taehyung only sighed before he turned back.

"Anyway, as I was saying," he said rather pointedly. Jeongguk snickered quietly. "I've been thinking. About me, or rather V. How I've acted towards a lot of people, and you. You asked me why I'm in a bad mood, and that's why." 

Jeongguk finally calmed down, sensing that this was something serious. "And what exactly are you thinking about it?" he asked quietly. 

Taehyung chewed on the inner side of his cheek, unsure of what to answer. He had so much brewing slowly inside of him, and yet nothing to say at all. "Well, I think that I'm an asshole." he muttered then. Jeongguk remained silent, allowing Taehyung time to think before he continued speaking.

"I think that a lot of my actions caused much more damage than I ever realized before. There's a lot of things I need to make right." he sighed, hands kneading around the edge of the table. "And I have no idea how to do it. Hell, I don't even know why I did all that shit. Like, mocking others, breaking girls' hearts for no reason, being so... Well, being an asshole."

Jeongguk hummed quietly, acting so different from just over a minute ago. All that playful, bratty behavior melted away, leaving behind a gentle core with soft eyes that looked at Taehyung so gently, patiently.

"I don't-," Taehyung stuttered. "I don't know what the hell I'm even doing here. All this time I spent so much energy just... Just being angry, and being shitty towards others. And now it's all just... Gone. I don't know what the hell it was that drove me, but it's gone."

If only the memories were gone, too. 

He wasn't clinically sociopathic, he did always feel guilt for his actions. That guilt was then drowned out by his friends, or drinks, or a warm body. But now, it was like his world just... tilted. No, like it turned upside down. He still had all his worse and worst moments stuck in his head. Of courting girls and leading them into his bed, only to break the news to them the morning after, that it was a nice fling and nothing more.

Or of the horrible jokes he made in class when a student was having a hard time. He remembered the class erupting into cruel laughter and dropping their own comments, and the embarrassment and hurt getting to the victims. 

He made a kid almost drop out of Darryl High, thanks to exactly those stupid jokes. The only reason that the kid didn't change schools was because their graduation was less than a year away.

"I don't know how to make any of this right," he whispered into the sudden dead silence, throat suddenly dry and tight and making it hard to speak. "I hurt so many people, Jeongguk. And even if I somehow manage to make it up to all of them, there still won't be anything left for me. I don't know who I'm supposed to be."

Nothing but the sounds of their breathing filled the tense air. The atmosphere felt both hollow and incredibly full after the confession Taehyung had never made before, not to a single soul.

From the corner of his eye, he watched as Jeongguk took a few last drags from his cigarette before putting it out. Slowly, as if he were as old as Mr. Bauman himself, he moved up into a cross-legged seat on the table. "Well," he began, just as quiet to match Taehyung's volume. "That's one hell of a crisis you got there, chief."

Taehyung wheezed, the sound way too choked up to not be absolutely emotional and devastated.

"Oof, um," Jeongguk sighed, fingers picking at the wooden splinters of the table. "First of all... I don't think you're as bad as you say. I mean, yeah, hooking up with girls who have a crush on you is... That's kinda bad."

Taehyung just nodded quietly.

"And I won't defend that. That was a dick move. Literally." Jeongguk snorted quietly, and a little awkwardly. "But if it helps you in any way, you're still young. We all are, including those, what, like-, five girls you hooked up with?"

"Six." Taehyung interjected, even more quiet in shame.

"Six. Yes, they were all sorta heartbroken, but they will get over it. I mean hey, most of them probably already did." Jeongguk shrugged. "You're still in school with them. You can still go up to them and just apologize. Tell them what you told me." he winced. "Actually, scratch that. Don't tell them that. But just say what you're honestly feeling - that you're sorry, that it was a really stupid thing to do and that you wish them all the best. Just... apologize."

Just apologize.

The way Jeongguk worded it, it sounded almost... Easy. Or well, easier than it would actually be. But in that moment, as vulnerable as he was, Taehyung desperately wanted to listen to Jeongguk. If the latter said that everything would be absolutely fine, Taehyung was desperate to trust him in a heartbeat. 

"Secondly, you said you have no idea who you're supposed to be." Jeongguk continued, mustering Taehyung with something akin to... interest. Curiosity. "But Taehyung, you're not supposed to be anyone. This world can't expect anyone from you, it doesn't have the right. Just like you don't have the right to expect the world to treat you different. In reality, expectations for people like us have no weight."

Taehyung didn't answer, only listened and stayed silent. He didn't say that he highly disagreed, considering the weight of expectations from not only his parents, but everyone around him. 

"If there's one thing I learned all over again in my life, it's that there's always a way out. Even if that means running away, getting some stupid job at a gas station and figuring things out from there. So fuck them, do that and just be a nobody in a lost place until you understand yourself. It's never too late to figure out what, or who, you want to be. Never.

And by the way, just between me and you,"Jeongguk scooted closer, leaning forward until he was right in Taehyung's view and the latter had no choice but to look at him. "I think you started to leave V behind the moment you beat up Kris Wu," he said, looking so earnest that Taehyung believed him immediately, without a single doubt.

"Kris? What does he have to do with it?" he asked, a little confused. 

Jeongguk sighed heavily, briefly glancing down at the floor as if he was considering his next words very carefully. "I don't know how aware you are of that," he said slowly. "But Kris Wu is genuinely one of the worst people in Darryl. If not all of Texas, or the US."

Taehyung frowned, waiting to hear more. He did see Kris acting... fairly extreme sometimes, but it was true that he tended to be a bit out of it when it came to the reputation of his friends.

"He severely bullied many, many people for years since we were all children, including me." Jeongguk revealed then, and now he was the one avoiding Taehyung's eyes. "Now I can't speak for the dozens of other people he's hurt, but whenever I see him, I mentally just... shut down. No thoughts, head empty." he gestured vaguely.

Oh. 

"At some point my uncle visited the principal weekly, just to get him to step in between Kris and me, but he never did. He didn't believe any accusations my uncle and I made, because 'Kris is always such a good student in class',"

A heavy stone dropped into Taehyung's chest, sliding down into his stomach and taking his breath away.

"I can't... I can't speak of some of the things he did." Jeongguk swallowed heavily. It was obvious that it became harder and harder for him to talk. "But he shaped a lot of who I am, in the worst way possible.

I get called bratty and snarky a lot, and you know why? Because if Kris had you as a target and you gave in, he would make a fucking game out of seeing how far he can go with you. What he can do to you until you either try to tell on him or disappear out of his sight forever."

Suddenly, Jeongguk turned back, his pitch black doe eyes cutting straight into Taehyung's. He couldn't look away, even if he wanted to.

"Sometimes, on a bad day, I'm too scared to go into the kitchen, and why? Because on a class trip five years ago, Kris put metal in a microwave in our shared kitchen and then used me a shield when it exploded. My face scarred because of that, and I'm still afraid of microwaves. Fucking microwaves."

Taehyung swallowed, gaze flicking from Jeongguk's eyes to the jagged scars running across the right side of Jeongguk's cheek, temple and upper lip. "I-," he stuttered, tongue lying heavy and almost numb in his mouth. "I had no idea,"

Something in Jeongguk's eyes changed, became unreadable before he looked away again.

"I am so, so sorry, Jeongguk." Taehyung felt devastated. Horrified and devastated, and disgusted that this entire time, he had been friends with someone's absolute nightmare of a bully. Kris Wu was the person children had bad dreams about, and Taehyung never noticed any of it.

Jeongguk swallowed heavily, wetting his dry lips as he rubbed his hands together. "It's fine-," he attempted to say, but Taehyung interrupted.

"No, it's not. I... I never knew that he did any of that. If I would've known-,"

"You didn't." 

Jeongguk jumped off, and for a second Taehyung feared that he'd run off and cut their conversation short. But Jeongguk didn't go far, only put his hands in his pockets and began to kick the bits of remaining snow around, breath forming into clouds around him.

"You didn't know. I don't expect anything from you, because it's not on you to do anything. I'm telling you that because I want you to know that you're not the worst this town has to offer. Compared to Kris fucking Wu, you've done basically nothing at all." he said then, turning around and meeting Taehyung's eyes once more. "Like I said, you're not as bad as you think you are."

And honestly, after that revelation Jeongguk wasn't wrong. Taehyung had done bad things, things he'd always feel guilty and ashamed for. But he had never gotten physical. He had let off rude comments and cared less for the feelings of people around him, but...

"You still have a chance at reconciliation." Jeongguk said, speaking exactly what Taehyung was thinking. "You can still go to every person you've wronged, and apologize. Whether or not they forgive you is entirely up to them, but then at least you'd have done that step, you know. But Wu? He went long past that."

And God, Taehyung realised Jeongguk was not only a better person than him, but also purely by default. The way he held himself despite what happened, the way he spoke of it, the way he still looked at Taehyung like V hadn't missed every single opportunity to open his eyes and see what was happening around him.

"And-," Taehyung immediately stopped talking when his voice broke off, clearing his throat roughly before trying again. "And they'd hear me out? After what I did? You sure they'd even be willing to consider forgiveness?"

Jeongguk looked at him for a long, long moment, and bit his lip. "I forgave you." he shrugged, hands still in the pockets of his thick jeans. "And you didn't even try."

Taehyung gulped audibly.

He realized in that moment that if Jeongguk were a girl, Taehyung would be neck deep in shit right now.

Chapter Text

For the first time in his life, Taehyung was entirely baffled.

Alright, maybe not the first time, but it sure did feel like it.

"What-?" he frowned as he stared at the flyer Jeongguk just handed him, acting strange with his eyes constantly downcast and hand scratching his neck. 

eight ball - club & bar
Talent Show 13.02.
Starting 7PM

"Eight Ball is in the next town over." Jeongguk said a bit quickly, words spilling out as he stuck his hands deeper in his pockets. "My, uh, my band's gonna be there, 'cause we're playing briefly at 8."

Taehyung scanned the flyer, eyes raking over it before flipping it to the back and reading the names. "You have a band?" he asked, though he wasn't exactly surprised. Jeongguk's daily attire was 90% black, with spikes and chains and fucking tattoos at barely 19. Taehyung kinda thought that Jeongguk was the type to have a band.

"Yeah I do," the aforementioned Mr. Black Attire looked down, feet kicking around the bits of snow that hadn't been melted away yet by the sudden change of weather and constant sunlight. "I front. I mean, I sing. But yeah."

Taehyung hummed, looking back to the dozen of names listed on the paper. "Is it Dionysus?" he asked then. Finally, Jeongguk looked up and stared at him in bewilderment.

"How'd you know?" 

"Your hoodie," Taehyung shrugged, nodding to the black fabric currently wrapped around Jeongguk's waist. "Says Dionysus. It's one of the names on the flyer, but the hoodie looks like it's selfmade and famous bands usually don't attend small talent shows, so my next guess was that it's your own band."

Jeongguk looked down at the hoodie, then back at Taehyung. "That's right," he said, then added a dumbfounded, "You're smart."

"Well, yeah, I'm not stupid. Where do you think my grades come from? Not because my teachers love me so much." Taehyung snorted, eyeing the flyer again (because he didn't want to look Jeongguk in the eyes.)

"So you, uh," he started then, because they had briefly forgotten the topic at hand. "You want me to come?" he asked quietly. He really hoped that his hesitation wasn't visible. On the one hand he didn't want to assume, and on the other he didn't know if he would even want to go. The rock and punk scene wasn't exactly something he'd been familiar with.

Jeongguk shrugged, hand going up to scratch his neck for the nth time. "You don't have to if you don't want to." he smiled awkwardly. Awkwardness didn't suit him. "Entry's free... And y'know, since you're in this depressive state and desperate for change I thought a literal change in the scene might help."

"What- I-," Taehyung spluttered, warmth spreading on his face which was entirely against his will. "I'm not depressed!" he finally managed to get out. The embarrassment caused a deep red blush to climb up his neck, coloring his ears and eventually his cheeks too. 

Jeongguk finally looked at him, eyebrows shooting up so fast that they nearly disappeared in his hairline. "Yeah right, and I'm part of the Beatles." he snorted sarcastically, then winced. "Sorry. That was mean. Anyway, like I said, change of scenes or whatever. You don't have to show up, it was just an idea-," 

"Hey, back off." When his hand began to reach for the flyer, Taehyung automatically moved back, clutching the paper to his chest like it was worth a million dollars. "I didn't say anything about not coming." He narrowed his eyes at the dealer, who only laughed briefly and raised his hands in mock surrender. 

"Okay," he grinned and stepped back, all awkwardness gone within the second like it never had been there. "Then we got a deal. Let me know if you need a ride." And with that, and a subtle wink (a wink??), Jeongguk waltzed back to his car, fingers toying with the keys he pulled out.

Watching as Jeongguk walked off, Taehyung had the distant thought that maybe it was time for them to stop doing this "having the last word" thing bouncing back and forth between them.

Taehyung really had no business getting that book of all of Darryl's phone numbers and looking so vigorously for one very specific name, but here he was, sitting on his bed with the thick paperback on his lap and going through the names with J.

"Jean, Jekyll, Jennings," he mumbled under his breath, not even aware he was doing it. "Jensen, Jester, Jett,- Jeon," Hissing a quiet 'yes!", he dove for his telephone and began to type in the number. 

The number was under a Jeon Sejin rather than a Jeon Jeongguk, so Taehyung would only know if he got it right once he'd reach someone, but he distantly remembered Jeongguk talking about his uncle Sejin, and as far as Taehyung was aware there were very few Asian families in Darryl, let alone Koreans. Aside from Jeongguk and the Wu brothers, Taehyung hadn't even met any Asian people here.

But that didn't change the fact that Taehyung was buzzing with anxiety, eyes stuck to the clock as the phone rang for a second, then five, then ten, then twenty... 

Click.

"You're speakin' to Sejin Jeon."

The tight, anxious little ball in Taehyung burst, sending shivers up his spine. "Mister Jeon, hello!" he greeted quickly, hand rubbing against his pants to get rid of the sweat. "So sorry to bother you at this time-," It was 2 in the afternoon, on a Saturday. Taehyung facepalmed. "-Is Jeongguk there by any chance?"

"Jeongguk?" A second of contemplative silence passed. "What business you got with my nephew?" Sejin asked then, voice a little deeper and more gruff than before. Well, there truly wasn't a better way to meet Jeongguk's family, Taehyung thought sarcastically.

"No, no, it's not like that!" He was quick to add. "My name is Taehyung Kim, I'm an acquaintance of Jeongguk. I just wanted to ask something-,"

"Hey, who is it?" A voice suddenly came from the other end of the line, sounding so muffled and off that Taehyung could just barely pick up the sudden Korean. "I heard my name-... you messing with my affairs again, old man?!" 

Yep, that was definitely Jeongguk. Taehyung would recognize that mocking tune anywhere.

Sejin laughed roughly, only interrupted by a bit of rustling. "Piss off, kid," he spoke, as if he were talking to an old friend rather than his very own, very disrespectful nephew. Taehyung cringed physically. If he would've talked like that with his family, he'd be aborted at the age of 19. "It's for you, an acquaintance. Said his name's Kim Taehyun, or something like that."

"Wait, Taehyung?!" Suddenly, the voice was much closer, almost like it was right next to the phone. "Holy- Move, move, give me that!" Some more rustling that sounded a lot like Sejin quite literally had the phone ripped from his hands, and suddenly Jeongguk spoke straight into Taehyung's ear, switched back to English with ease. "Taehyung? How'd you get my number?"

A little muffledly, Sejin was heard muttering something along the lines of, "teens these days..." as he walked off, thankfully leaving his nephew some privacy. 

"I checked the phone book," Taehyung admitted rather sheepishly, anxiety unfurling the minute he actually had Jeongguk on the phone. "And I realize now how that sounds. I literally only wanted to ask a question, I don't know why I didn't just wait until our next smoke." As the words practically ran off his lips, Taehyung realized belatedly that speaking to Jeongguk like this, when they weren't physically face to face, was much easier which was both a good and a bad thing.

Jeongguk only laughed at his response, the sound sounding much more free and unbothered than usual. "Yeah well, too late now. Can't hang up." he snickered, and a small smile etched itself into Taehyung's face. "What's up? What do you wanna ask?"

Taehyung halted, realizing then that the question was almost as stupid as putting so much effort into finding Jeongguk's phone number for basically nothing. "Well, uh," he stuttered, fingers circling around the cord of the phone. "You said it's a rock and punk bar, so... What... What do punks wear...?"

There was silence for a few seconds before Jeongguk broke out into soft, almost gentle laughter. "What, are you scared that you'll stick out, V?" he asked in the middle of his chuckles. But unlike what Taehyung expected, Jeongguk didn't sound judgmental at all, despite the laughing. "I appreciate you calling me for that, but you really don't have to worry. They're usually really cool with everyone, especially in eight ball. They won't care if you show up in your usual attire as long as you don't get rude with them."

"Uh huh." Taehyung was not entirely convinced. 

Jeongguk laughed again, much softer this time. "Seriously, it'll be fine... But if you're that worried about it then you can just put on some darker jeans and any shirt that seems sorta Rock-ish to you. You got a leather jacket and bikerboots?"

"Uh, I don't think so." His parents would never allow him a leather jacket. It wasn't dignified to dress like that, not in the Kim household. 'We don't want you to look like you're one of them, Taehyung.' his father would say as his mother nodded along.

"Okay then, change of plans. Are you free tomorrow, like uh, after school?"

For some reason, even though he just calmed down, Taehyung's heart started to beat up into his throat, almost like it was trying to escape his chest. "Gguk, you and I both know that we won't be showing up at school tomorrow." he said, the nickname slipping out unintentionally. If Jeongguk took note of it then he didn't let it show.

"Right," he laughed for the nth time today. Taehyung could get used to that. "Allow me to reword it then. Got any plans tomorrow at 2?"

"That's better. And no, I don't think so. Why?" Taehyung snickered quietly. "Wanna take me with you to emo town? Show me the wonders of alternative clothes?" 

Jeongguk spluttered, immediately protesting in offence. "Okay, first of all-," Taehyung just grinned. "-I'm not emo, I'd be more on the side of Gothics. It's called fashion, asshole. Which, by the way, you don't have."

"Hey!"

"No, you can't argue." Jeongguk interrupted him. Taehyung didn't need to be face to face with him to see the glare the other probably had on his face, it was literally audible in those four words alone. "You just dug out my old man's landline just to ask me a question about fashion. You lost the right to talk."

Taehyung signed in a mock defeat. "Alright, that's fair."

"Thank you." Jeongguk said, very pointedly. "As I was saying; first of all, not emo, and second of all, we could meet... somewhere. At mine, if you want. I'll show you some photos of previous shows and parties, that way you'll have a vague idea and can match it as much as you want."

"Okay," Taehyung drawled. "So you won't kidnap me?"

"...Yeah, okay. I mean, it depends on how far you get with your own clothes, but at most I'll kidnap you to the bar. But I can and will kidnap you to Goth town if you don't do well." Jeongguk admitted, chuckling quietly. "Oh! And I have a jacket that you can borrow if you want. That way you'll blend in more with the crowd, and you may finally find something other than button shirts to like. Sound good?"

Once again, Taehyung was very glad that Jeongguk couldn't see him, because then he'd also see the stupidly soft, yet excited smile on Taehyung's face. "Yeah," he breathed out. "Sounds good. Let's do it. But we'll meet at mine."

"Whooeee," Jeongguk whistled, military bag swung loose over his shoulder as he entered Taehyung's home, just a day after the call like they had talked over.

"Damn. This is... Big. Isn't this, like, half the size of our High School?" Jeongguk asked with wide opened eyes, glancing around and taking everything in. Taehyung just snorted. 

He low-key regretted offering his place to meet up, because he found himself to be very uncomfortable showing Jeongguk... This. He was confused that the dealer didn't feel uncomfortable himself, because his dark silhouette couldn't have a stronger contrast to the greys and pastel blues of the Kim household.

Taehyung was reminded once again of how much he hated those bright, boring colors, and along came the realization that he preferred Jeongguk's black a lot. "Welcome to my humble abode," he joked and shrugged awkwardly. "Let me know if you need a tour."

"God, no, spare me." Jeongguk groaned, still looking around but looking much less impressed now that he'd taken it all in. "Sorry, man, but I don't like it. It's really fucking boring." he said then. Taehyung nearly stumbled from the bafflement that hit him.

"Sorry?" he asked, slowly turning to Jeongguk just to make sure he heard that right. In his 19 years of living here, nobody had ever called his home boring, let alone show open dislike for it. It was always 'impressive', or 'luxurious' or 'outstanding.' Never boring.

Jeongguk looked back, something akin to guilt flashing over his face and disappearing again within a nanosecond. "Yeah. Sorry, it's just..." He looked around pointedly. "This place is an empty field. Like, where are the pictures and plants? Where are the personal belongings? It looks like it's ready to be sold today."

Taehyung blinked slowly. He wasn't sure, but maybe there was something akin to absolute delight climbing its way up his throat. "Oh my-, Yes, thank you!" he exclaimed, earning an odd look from Jeongguk which, of course, he ignored easily. "I used to argue with my parents so much that this house has more empty spaces than filled ones, but they never listened to me."

Jeongguk raised his eyebrows at his friend's words, but he said no more in regards to that, eyes still roaming around the room before they took to the stairs. "I mean," he said carefully. "It's a nice house...?"

"Save it. It's a facade. That's all there is." Taehyung spat, tone more bitter than he wanted to let out. He didn't just mean the house after all. "My mother always calls it a statement, like we have something to prove to our friends."

"Ah yes, the friends who are all millionaires and probably have at least two more houses in Vegas and God knows where else rich assholes flock to... England?" Jeongguk guessed, but Taehyung just laughed as he led him to his room.

"No. Too cold, and rainy." Without a single fuck to give, he kicked open the door to his bedroom and went straight to his closet. He knew very well that if he'd just stand there and wait for Jeongguk to say something about his room, he'd spontaneously combust from anxiety, so he'd rather just not.

"Hm. So rich assholes are also pretentious, got it." Jeongguk murmured, eyes still roaming his surroundings as he stepped into the room and looked around. Just like he had expected, it was an entirely different room than the rest of the house.

The walls themselves were of a sky-blue, with clouds painted right where the walls meet the ceiling. The closet seemed stuffed to the brim, full of jeans, shirts and hoodies and looked a lot more lived-in than the entire house. Pictures and drawings were hanging in a line on a string, as if somebody had tried to imitate a gallery.

"...You write songs?"

"Hm?" Taehyung turned his head, and froze immediately at the sight of Jeongguk leaning over the keyboard standing in the corner next to the door, partially hidden by the shelf standing between it and the entrance. Jeongguk's rather nimble fingers fiddled with the opened book filled with handwritten notes. Taehyung swallowed.

"I used to," he muttered, hands finding their way deep into his pockets to hide the tension. "I haven't done it recently, though."

Jeongguk looked up, eyes much more intense than seconds ago. "Why?" he asked. There was... Something, hidden in his voice. A soft undertone that Taehyung couldn't quite grasp. "This..." he fiddled with the pages. "This doesn't really seem like something an amateur wrote, Tae."

Tae.

"My parents don't like it." he rushed out, slowly walking over to stand next to Jeongguk. If it weren't for his mother's religious cleaning, the keyboard would be dusted and webbed like an old attic. That was how long he went without touching it. "My father thinks it's too much noise, he can't focus when I play, so I just... Stopped."

Jeongguk hummed, eyes returning back to the pages briefly before he closed the book, allowing the countless of handwritings and notes disappear behind the paperback as if it hadn't ever been opened. Just like that, the intensity of the moment was gone. "The more I hear about your parents, the more I hate them." Jeongguk huffed and turned. "Nothing that you do seems to be enough. Well that, or it's too much, apparently. That's not how parents act, chief."

Taehyung had half the mind to protest, mouth already open to defend his parents, before he realized that Jeongguk wasn't wrong. "But they do. And they're my parents, so." he shrugged, following after Jeongguk like a lost puppy.

The dealer made a beeline for the closet, opening it wide and examining it. Or, well, not exactly examining it. 

"You're standing there like the closet personally committed a crime against your entire bloodline." Taehyung snorted, more than amused as he sat on the bed. Jeongguk made a grimace that only grew with each second he spent looking at the piece of furniture and its contents.

"Well. The bad news is, your clothes are about as bad as I thought." Jeongguk groaned, hands to his hips like an angry mother. "White button ups, slacks, barely a few jeans... Did you buy these yourself?" he asked over his shoulder.

Taehyung shrugged. "Not really. My parents get me most of my clothes. I guess I never really bothered with anything else."

The look that Jeongguk threw over his shoulder could've probably made a man feel ashamed for not owning dresses. "You poor, poor soul." he pursed his lips in a mocking pout, making Taehyung grin a little sheepishly. "Well, bad news number two; every single problem in your life seems to stem from your parents."

Again wanting to protest at first, Taehyung barely got to open his mouth before he was hit with the reality that Jeongguk was, once again, right. "I mean..." he mumbled, but changed the topic as soon as he saw Jeongguk's self-satisfied smirk. "Do you also have any good news, your Honor?" he grumbled, arms crossing over his chest.

Jeongguk's smirk only grew. "The good news is that I came prepared." he nodded to his military bag which, frankly, was almost as big as Taehyung's entire torso. "Why you think I'm dragging that around with me?"

Taehyung pursed his lips. 

'Oh boy.'

Chapter Text

"Stop bein' that way, Jeongguk. I know that this is difficult but this is our chance! We need this, both you and me, and you ought to come with me."

"I can't just leave everything behind! I thought you of all people would understand, you can't-... you can't fucking do that! You can't do that!"

The entire trailer park probably heard the yelling, the walls weren't exactly the thickest or even soundproof. Just like they heard it when Jeongguk kicked the door to their trailer open to storm out, straight to his car. Sejin was right on his heels.

"Jeongguk! Don't walk away from me, boy!" he yelled, pointing angrily at the young man as he stormed off. "Don't you dare get into that car!"

"Fuck off!"

Too late. The door was locked as soon as Jeongguk sat behind the steering wheel, engine turned on and heel pressing on the gas as soon as he could. Without another glance at his uncle, he pulled out of their makeshift driveway and sped away from the park.

Even after he drove a few miles, Jeongguk could still hear his Uncle call out, telling him to stop and come back. His hands gripped the wheel so hard that his knuckles protested, turning as pale as snow as he sped off into whatever direction the street went to.

It was only when the houses around him became sparse and were replaced by trees that Jeongguk realized he was driving right back to the table in the woods, even though it was getting dark pretty quick.

Pulling into the flattened grass in front of the spot, the sight of it didn't give him nearly as much comfort as it usually did. Right now, he really wanted to set that awful, corroded table on fire. Unluckily for him and luckily for the table, his cigarettes and lighter were back at home.

Jeongguk got out and stomped towards the table anyway, the cold air washing over him like a bucket of ice water. 

He took one look at the table with its stupid attached benches and scorch marks littering the surface.

Then he kicked it in the wooden leg so hard that it flipped over, its legs ripping out of the ground and sending crumbles of dirt through the air.

Judging by the hot pain immediately shooting through Jeongguk's foot, the table did not want to go down alone.

He sat on the cold ground, leaning against a tree not far from the flipped table with his legs spread out when he noticed another car pulling up. He had no idea how much time passed, but judging by the growing cold and the darkness of the sky it should've been around midnight.

It was a silver Porsche, its headlights going just past Jeongguk as it parked next to his Chevy. Neither his uncle nor any of his friends drove a damn Porsche. Jeongguk felt a brief rush of adrenaline before he realized that he didn't really care right now if someone hostile found him.

The only thing he really cared about was a smoke. Which he didn't have.

The driver of the obnoxious car got out, headlights still on as the stranger headed for the table, halting in front of it to examine. It was nearly too dark to see anything, but Jeongguk could probably recognize that silhouette from a mile away.

It didn't take more than a few seconds for Taehyung to spot him, face as unreadable as ever as he walked towards the boy sat on the ground. He didn't say anything, only sat down right next to Jeongguk like he usually did.

"Hey," he said after a while, when it was clear that the dealer wouldn't start the conversation this time. Jeongguk didn't answer, only looked at his legs stretched out in front of him. 

"Your uncle called me." Taehyung continued. The heat of his body bled through both of their clothes, warming Jeongguk at the shoulder and arm where they touched a little. "He said that you drove off and asked if you were with me. I kinda had a feeling that I'd find you here."

"Why did you come?" Jeongguk interrupted. The rough 'why do you care?' went unsaid. His voice was so quiet that Taehyung only heard it because of the stillness of the woods around them. 

He just sighed and removed his scarf, then leaned even closer than he already was to wrap it around Jeongguk instead. 

Jeongguk's nose was hit instantly with the smell of pine and something close to caramel. He hated to admit it, but the scent was much nicer and more comforting than anything he had today, and without thinking he leaned down into the scarf, buried his nose in it.

"Mr. Jeon sounded really worried on the phone," Taehyung answered as he zipped up Jeongguk's still open jacket, long fingers fiddling with the scarf until it covered everything of Jeongguk's neck and chest that the jacket didn't. "...I was worried, too."

Chewing on his lip, Jeongguk finally found the strength to look up, his eyes meeting Taehyung's instantly. 'You? Worried?' he wanted to ask, but didn't. He knew that it wouldn't be fair, and that he'd regret it as soon as it came out.

Taehyung looked at him for a long, long moment before he sat back down, arm pressing into Jeongguk's. He didn't say anything more, but Jeongguk knew exactly what Taehyung was offering.

The unnoticeable shake of his hands and shoulders went down as Taehyung's warmth took over him, both physically and emotionally.

"Sejin got a potential promotion from his firm. It's still in planning, and it'll take another year before anything happens, but they want to open a new company further away, and he'd be a good fit for a position there." he mumbled after a while, staring straight ahead again. "It would give him much more balance and security, and a bigger payroll, too."

Taehyung didn't answer, only left room for Jeongguk to fill when he felt ready to. But the little nudge he gave Jeongguk with his hand said enough. 'But?'

"It's in Busan."

The silence that followed was anything but silent.

"But... That's-"

"In South Korea. Yup," Jeongguk nodded. "Almost seven thousand miles away." His fingers tightened around the sleeve of his jacket, and hot red anger flooded his chest just like earlier when his uncle told him the news. 

Seven thousand miles. 

Seven thousand miles away from Darryl. From Jeongguk's band, his music... His life. Everything.

"...Holy fucking shit." Taehyung whispered, and Jeongguk realized only then that the revelation had completely knocked off Taehyung's metaphorical mask. His face was an open book, flashing from shock to confusion to empathy, to frustration. "And your uncle wants you to come with him."

It wasn't a question, of course. This was Taehyung. 

Jeongguk wheezed, the harsh sound echoing through the woods without any joy. "More like he needs me to, with the way he's acted." he laughed, but his smile - not smile, grimace - disappeared  just as quickly as it came.

Gently, as if he were handling a scared animal, Taehyung's hand moved towards Jeongguk. It hovered in midair for a few seconds, twitching uncertainly until it eventually settled on Jeongguk's wrist.

For a moment, Jeongguk almost moved his hand away. But the weight on it, and the warmth seeping into his skin, was more comforting than he expected.

"I can't do it, Tae," he whispered eventually and turned towards his friend, eyes wide and more watery than he'd like to admit. The hand on his wrist tightened. "I mean-, I got everything here. Dionysus, my friends, my home..." 

Taehyung looked right back, nodding quietly even as a single, lone tear rolled down Jeongguk's cheek.

"I can't leave everything behind again. Especially for a country and heritage that was never mine." he sniffled pathetically and wiped his nose on his sleeve. Embarrassment crept up his chest, but he attempted with all his willpower to ignore it. Hell, Taehyung cried in front of him, too. Now they'd be even.

For a while, they just sat there, the silence surrounding them like a familiar blanket. Neither one of them spoke, but Taehyung's hand was a constant weight on Jeongguk's wrist, grounding him and keeping him in the here and now. 

"...It's not fair." Jeongguk suddenly murmured, his voice barely rising past a whisper. "Why do I have to give everything up? Why does this keep happening?"

The pressure on his wrist increased. "You shouldn't have to." he said. From one moment to another, a strange, final sounding edge appeared in his voice. "Your uncle can't expect that of you. You're an adult, he can't make you come with him."

For a moment, Jeongguk was too stunned to reply. When he managed to recover, his voice was weak. "But... You know how we are. You know I can't say no to him, not after what he's done for me." 

Taehyung's grip on his wrist changed, fingers curling around it more. The touch was firmer than before, more demanding. 

"You didn't ask him to take you in now, did you?"

Jeongguk didn't even know what to say to that. 

"He's your family, the only real one you have, and nothing can take that away. But he also can't tell you to give up anything. There's so much for you here, so many things you worked hard to get. Nothing can take that away either." he replied just as calmly as ever. 

Then, completely out of nowhere, he pulled back his hand only to wrap his arm around Jeongguk, pulling him closer into a sideways hug. With the major shift, Jeongguk ended up having to lean entirely into Taehyung, head on that broad shoulder and everything. 

"You said it's a year away. That's still a year you can use to plan your own things, and to show your uncle that this isn't your way," he muttered.

'There's always a way out.'

His muscles felt stiff under Jeongguk's touch, revealing the fact that Taehyung probably surprised himself as much as he surprised Jeongguk with this metaphorical jump off the cliff, straight into foreign waters.

It was only when Jeongguk himself began to relax and melt into the warmth that Taehyung also loosened up, his arm settling more naturally around his friend's shoulders. At least Jeongguk wasn't shivering anymore.

"You know what?" he mumbled then, though the noise did little to disturb the peaceful atmosphere. "I think I broke my foot." 

With his cheek resting on Taehyung's shoulder, Jeongguk felt the heavy sigh more than he heard it.

A few minutes (and a close inspection of his foot which was, in fact, swollen at the ankle and bruising at the toes) later, Taehyung mostly carried the limping Jeongguk back to his car. He quietly listened to Jeongguk's huffs of pain as he attempted to walk by himself, and that was when Taehyung ripped open the door to his own car instead.

"Get in. I'm driving you to the hospital."

Jeongguk frowned at him, instantly trying to protest. "But-"

"No. We're going. Sit." Taehyung's glare was so sharp that Jeongguk shut up immediately and sat in the passenger seat of Taehyung's car, a heated blush running through his body. With a tight knot of anxiety forming in his stomach, he watched as Taehyung rounded the car and climbed behind the wheel, a look of hard determination on his face.

"And my car?" Jeongguk asked quietly, watching his Chevy drown in the dark night as Taehyung pulled away from the picnic table and towards the road. "How'd you get a car anyway? Didn't your parents take away yours?"

"They sold it, actually," Taehyung corrected him. He sat weirdly still, aside from steering the car of course. "I'll help you pick up the Chevy later...And we usually have this car as a spare in the garage. My Mom hid the key because I'm not allowed to drive it, but I found it like, 3 years ago."

Jeongguk blinked, baffled. "...And you still decided to go footsies after they took your neat little mercedes?" he asked, half amused and half... whatever the hell he was feeling there.

"Well, I couldn't just take it right in front of their noses now, could I?" Taehyung sassed back, fingers thrumming almost anxiously against the leather that covered the steering wheel. 

"...Alright, yeah. I don't know what I was thinking there."

"How's your foot?"

Jeongguk looked down, checking his ankle which, unfortunately, had swollen to the size of an apple. 

Taehyung drove faster.

Jeongguk hated hospitals. 

Not just disdain, he seriously hated them, and Taehyung realized that the second they walked through the doors together. The way Jeongguk's body completely tightened, how he refused to rest for even just a second. Judging by his body language, he wasn't just filled with hatred, but fear.

So of course it made sense that Jeongguk wouldn't stop basically clinging to Taehyung, doe eyes examining every single instrument and every single person within his personal space like it could be a death trap. 

Of course Jeongguk would need someone there. It also made sense that even when sat in a wheelchair, he reached behind himself to hold on to Taehyung's hand like it was his anchor.

It only made sense that, before Jeongguk was wheeled off to a room for further scans, he stared deeply into Taehyung's eyes and said. "Promise you'll stay right here? You won't leave me?" 

If he noticed how quickly Taehyung nodded, agreeing even before Jeongguk finished his sentence, then he didn't mention it.

Taehyung frowned as he watched Jeongguk being wheeled off, heartstrings tugging firmly at how scared the boy looked. It was only logical. They were friends after all, were they not?

Chapter Text

"I'm scared."

"It will be fine, Gguk."

"No, seriously, I'm scared."

Without thinking Taehyung reached over, his hand finding Jeongguk's cold one in a heartbeat. "Do you trust me?"

His friend looked at their hands, then back at Taehyung. Jeongguk was already rather light skinned by default, and yet the hospital bed and sterile lights made him look unnaturally, if not a sickly kind of pale. "I do." he mumbled, though there was worry etched into every angle of his face.

"Then you'll also trust me when I say that it's okay," Taehyung assured him for the nth time today. "He's still your family. You can talk this out later, but for now he'll be far too worried about you."

Jeongguk nodded shakenly, fingers beginning to pick at Taehyung's nails just so that he'd get to do something. "But-," he started, but Taehyung interrupted him quickly, already sensing the next thought.

"No, you won't be alone. I'm not gonna go further than the doorframe."

There was still a hardness to Jeongguk's shoulders, muscles tensed even as he leaned back against the pillows of the bed. But at least his panic had been settled, judging by the way he quietened down. 

Taehyung's eyes unwillingly fell back on the cast engulfing Jeongguk's ankle. 'Three bruised toes, one fractured, and a hairline fracture in the calcaneus,' the doctor had said. All from kicking a damn wooden table. Taehyung didn't know if he should be impressed or seriously worried.

"Stop looking at it like that." Jeongguk muttered, his nimble fingers squeezing around Taehyung's to get his attention. Taehyung blinked, eyebrows rising up.

"Like what? What am I looking like?"

"Like an utterly disappointed mom."

Jeongguk broke out into only mildly shaken snickers when he was met with Taehyung sputtering, coughing and immediately saying that he was not a disappointed mom, Jeon, what the hell.

(He didn't mention the relief he felt at seeing Jeongguk smile for the first time since they arrived at the hospital, which had been over a night ago.)

"Well, since you don't have an actual mom, someone has to look out for you before you accidentally jump out a window," he shot back easily, then froze when he realized what he said. "...Too far?"

Ever since Jeongguk told him about his parents, they hadn't mentioned it again. Sure, Gguk made a little joke here and there - "Saying that I deal weed because of my daddy issues is so messed up. Like, it invalidates all the work that I put into making me the worst version of myself, Taehyung-" - but that was different... Right?

Jeongguk blinked at him, still processing the joke Taehyung had made, and promptly wheezed so hard he choked on his own spit.

"Jeongguk!" 

The two of them froze, Taehyung out of startlement and Jeongguk out of pure nerves, when Jeon Sejin appeared in the door, pale and sweaty and looking like he had just seen a ghost. His eyes fell on his nephew in an instant, then to Taehyung. Then to their joined hands.

Very quickly, Taehyung sensed the questions and thoughts brewing behind Sejin's eyes and had half the mind to pull his hand away and get up. Jeongguk's head snapped up to him, nervousness written all over his face, but Taehyung just squeezed his shoulder.

"I'm behind the door if you need me." he reassured his friend and turned away, nodding at Sejin as he passed him to get out.

As much as he would've wanted to stay by Jeongguk's side, this was something that concerned only family, and Taehyung had no place there. Did that stop him from dragging a chair back to the hallway, just outside the room? 

...No.

Around 20 minutes passed by, and it didn't seem like the Jeons were done with their family meeting. The door was still closed and blinds drawn shut. It was alright, Taehyung had no intention of leaving. It was not like he needed to be anywhere, and right now Jeongguk needed him.

Another 10 minutes later, and a nurse stopped by and handed him a chocolate bar from the vending machine. Confused as well as thankful, Taehyung took it. "Thank you." 

The nurse - a plump, blond woman in her 40s - just waved it off and smiled down at him. "Don't worry about it. You know, I sat there exactly like this when my boyfriend got in trouble. I was waiting for his mother to finish lecturing him." she laughed heartfully. "That was long ago though, when we were maybe you boys' age."

"Ah, I see," Taehyung nodded politely, before he realized the implications of the nurse's words. His face burned up like a supernova. "Wait, he's not my-"

"Oh it's alright, sweetheart!" the nurse laughed again, winking at him. "I won't tell anyone, your secret is safe with me." She leaned in, as if she was about to whisper something scandalous to him. "My little brother is gay, so... You two look just adorable together!" And just like that she waltzed off, leaving behind a flushed Taehyung with his melted chocolate bar.

He didn't have any time to process what just happened, because the door finally opened, revealing Sejin who seemed rather lost in thought. His face was almost entirely unreadable, there was no way of knowing how it went.

Taehyung hastily got to his feet, ready to get back to Jeongguk when Sejin stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. 

"Listen, son," he said gravely. "I know the history you and my nephew got. I also know how you treated 'im back then.. I got my eyes on you." Indeed he did, with the way he stared Taehyung down.

"But," he cleared his throat, and suddenly he looked like the awkward father figure Jeongguk once described him to be. "That bein' said, I appreciate what you did for him. Don't know what exactly you're doin', but he's changing. For the better."

A small smile bloomed on Taehyung's face before he could stop it, and he nodded solemnly. It's not that he wasn't aware of Jeongguk's change in attitude, but he thought it was the boy warming up to him and nothing more. 

"And thanks for, y'know, bringin' him here." Sejin added, even more awkwardly. "I'll get the paper work done. You go be with him."

Taehyung didn't need to be told twice, feet already carrying back to his friend as soon as Sejin let go. Jeongguk was still pale, still rather stiff in his bed, but there was this... air around him. 

His eyes - his big, sparkly doe eyes - met Taehyung's as the latter inched closer. "All right?"

Jeongguk smiled a watery smile. "All right." he sniffed. Taehyung had just enough time to get to him and hug him sideways before tears began to trail down Jeongguk's cheeks.

"If it went well, why are you crying?" he asked gently, his hands awkwardly rubbing into Jeongguk's shoulder. "I thought you said that it went okay?" 

"It did, somewhat. I'm fine. ...Just need this for a sec',"

'Well, I can help with that at least,' Taehyung thought and pulled his friend closer, hugging him for real. Jeongguk's head slid right down on his shoulder, tears soaking the fabric of his shirt.

There were no sobs, just slightly shaking shoulders and a lot of pressure releasing via sniffles and water. Taehyung just held him tight, acting as a silent, yet grounding presence, and it took less than a few minutes for Jeongguk to calm down again.

A soft cough interrupted the calm quiet that had washed over them. Taehyung looked up, with Jeongguk remaining tucked safely into his neck, and spotted the blond haired nurse from earlier. She smiled knowingly, winking and mouthing something to him before she closed the door to allow them privacy.

'You two are adorable!'

Taehyung swallowed.

"I said to him what you said to me, basically." Jeongguk explained later, sat in a wheelchair as Taehyung pushed him to his car. The hospital had released him fairly soon, with his foot wrapped up and a prescription for Heparin injections in his pocket.

At first, Sejin wanted to drive them home but Jeongguk waved him off, reminding him of the shift he had rather soon (and not allowing him to call in child-sick.)

"I said a lot of stuff, Gguk. Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?" Taehyung snorted and parked Jeongguk by the passenger door to get out his keys.

"Yeah, well," Jeongguk rolled his eyes, grinning and throwing Taehyung a mock-kiss when he opened the door for his friend. "There's still time, like you said. I can find a job until then, get a stable income and... you know. Become independent." he explained as he transferred from the wheelchair to the passenger seat, all the while being exceptionally careful with his hurt foot.

"I told him that I'm happy for him, but he can't make me go with him. There's too much for me here."

As he spoke, he looked at Taehyung in a way he couldn't interpret. He doubted that he was supposed to catch it at all, or that Jeongguk did it on purpose.

"How'd he react?" he found himself asking, later when they were already on the road to Jeongguk's. "Your uncle, I mean... What did he say?"

Jeongguk was quiet for a long time, mulling over something stuck in his head. He didn't say that he was, but Taehyung could tell by the way his dark eyes were entirely out of focus, far away.

"He took it... somewhat well. Better than I thought," he said eventually. "Told me that if it's what I want, I should go for it. He did also say that he wants to see a plan by the end of this year, or else he'll whoop my ass." 

Taehyung snorted.

"There's more, ain't it?" Sejin had asked, eyeing his nephew the way he always did when he suspected something. Jeongguk's eyes widened before they were cast down, avoiding Sejin's sharp look.

"Oh, don't give me that now, Jeongguk. I raised you." his uncle said gruffly, but Jeongguk didn't answer, fiddled with his hands instead. Sejin signed. "It's Taehyung, am I right?"

Jeongguk's head snapped up so quickly, it was a surprise that his neck didn't crack. His lips moved, attempting to form words that wouldn't come out while his cheeks turned a shade of red. Sejin cracked a small smile. His nephew would always wear his heart on his sleeve.

"I," Jeongguk stuttered. "I don't know."

Sejin chuckled softly and patted Jeongguk's shoulder. "It's alright," he shrugged and got up, moving towards the door. "That boy turned out to be a better friend than I thought. I'll give 'im that."

Jeongguk remained quiet.

RIIIING.

The shrill melody of the phone pulled (more like dragged) Taehyung straight out of the deep slumber he was in, cutting through the sleepy haze hanging over his thoughts. He groaned, eyes clenching shut as he buried his face in his pillow.

Not moving, he waited for his mother to come up the stairs and pick up the phone like she always did.

And then he realized that his mother was not here. His parents had driven away early this morning to go on a month long vacation. There were exactly two people who would want to call now, one would be Taehyung's older brother and the other would be... Oh.

Taehyung flung himself out of bed so hard that he almost ran straight into a wall. He took a hard turn and slid across the sleek wooden floor, only to actually crash face first into another wall. His nose grew hot and pained immediately. He may have broken it for real this time.

Entirely ignoring his probably bruising nose, he came to an unflattering stop right by the stand with the telephone on it and picked up, panting a "Kim household?"

"Hey Tae!" 

Taehyung groaned and sunk down to the floor, back leaning against the wall. This wasn't the voice he wanted to hear. "Hey hyung," he sighed, switching into Korean before Seokjin gave him an earful about it.

"Yah! Why the disappointment!? I'm still your brother!" Seokjin screeched into the phone, forcing Taehyung to hold it away from his ear to save himself from the auditory damage.

"Sorry, I'm just... Waiting for a call," he huffed and crossed his legs, finger tapping nervously. "What's up?"

Seokjin, his older brother by 9 years, had moved to New York to study when Taehyung was a child, and thus contact waned before Seokjin himself built it back up, knowing that their parents were many things but not that - parents.

"Whatever," his brother drawled, as unserious as ever. "I just wanted to ask if Eomma and Appa are on their way already. They forgot to tell me. Again."

"Hm?" It took Taehyung a moment before his brain functioned again, tapping halting briefly before it picked back up at an even more impatient pace. "Oh! Yeah, yeah, they're on their way. They drove off around... 7, I think."

"Oh, alright then. God, wish me luck because I really don't know how I'm gonna handle these two." Seokjin groaned out, already sounding tired. Taehyung almost had it in him to snort. Almost. "Well, that's all, and I don't wanna keep you any further~ Bye!"

"B-"

Click.

Taehyung stared at the telephone, massively offended that his brother just hung up on him like that. Annoying little shit. "And he's supposed to be the older one," he muttered to himself and snorted, hoisting himself up and walking back towards his bedroom.

And then the telephone rang again.

It probably looked comical, the way Taehyung immediately whipped back around and ran straight to the phone again.

"Kim household?" He almost screeched into the phone, hands gripping the plastic tight as he waited for the caller to answer.

"Uh, hey?"

Warmth flooded Taehyung's stomach. He sunk back to the floor, this time for very different reasons. "Hi Jeongguk," he said quietly after breathing deeply, just as his back hit the wall. 

"Hey. Sorry, is it a bad time?" Jeongguk asked hesitantly, voice as gentle as ever without even trying. "Sejin won't let me leave the house for another week, so... Hi?"

"No, no, it's a perfect time!" Taehyung assured immediately. He could immediately picture the way Jeongguk might have spent several minutes just hesitating, contemplating if he should even call. "Did he at least get your car back? It was still parked by the table."

Jeongguk sighed. "Yeah, but he hid the keys." he deadpanned. Taehyung wheezed. "And he's supposed to be the adult here! Can you believe it?" he raged on, the soft click of a lighter filtering in from the background. 

"Literally thought the same thing earlier about someone." Taehyung chuckled, fingers fiddling with the line. "Wait, you smoking without me? Come on, man, I thought we had a connection there, and now you're abandoning me?"

"Shut up, I am literally on house arrest!" Jeongguk laughed, the sound melting together without the soft crackling of the landline. On the other side, a distant voice suddenly echoed, calling something Taehyung couldn't quite make out. Rustling followed, and then Jeongguk called back. "See you! Can't make any promises!"

"What?" Taehyung asked, amused by the mischievous undertone in Jeongguk's voice. 

"He told me to not burn the house down. I'd say no problem, but let's see how boring I am by the end of the week."

"Jesus," he snorted. "That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea," Jeongguk complained, only interrupted by the occasional drag of smoke. "When I said house arrest, I meant it! No band practice, no driving around, no weed deals, no burning down any rich bitch homes, it sucks!" 

Taehyung laughed again, not even trying to muffle the sound this time. "Poor you." he drawled. "Can't even commit arson in peace. That's what you get for kicking that poor old picnic table."

"I was angry!" 

"So is your foot!"

Silence. Then, a rather awkward sounding cough. "I'm going to have to fix that spot, y'know?" he said then. "I mean, you saw. I goddamn unearthed the whole thing. I can't leave it like that."

"We." Taehyung interrupted. "We can't. You're not doing anything by yourself until you have that brace off." And he damn well meant that.

"Gee, yeah, thanks, Sejin," Jeongguk snorted. "That's going to be a while. Wait. ... Fuck."

"What's wrong?"

"...I forgot about the shots I have to get daily. Sejin just left, I have to do it myself."

"Yeah?"

Jeongguk inhaled noisily. "I hate needles."

Taehyung frowned. It didn't surprise him at all, Jeongguk seemed to hate anything connected to hospitals. Taehyung began to suspect that there was another traumatic experience Jeongguk hadn't told him about yet.

"I can help you." he blurted out. "My brother once had to get these and I helped him... Want me to come and help?"

Jeongguk stayed quiet for a few seconds before he piped up, voice as small as it was back in the hospital. "You would do that?"

"I hate them,"

"I know, it's okay." Taehyung reassured. "It takes less than a second." 

As soon as the two of them hung up, Taehyung had thrown on the first shirt and pants he found and jumped in the Porsche. It took him a few minutes to find the address Jeongguk gave him. He didn't realize it was the trailer park.

Jeongguk was the epitome of sheepish nervousness when he opened the door, dressed in baggy pants, a hoodie way too large for his frame and a crutch stuck under his arm (Taehyung felt an uncomfortable twinge in his chest). But he didn't say anything, only looked and smiled and said that the trailer was so unmistakably Jeongguk, he didn't know what he expected. 

Jeongguk cracked a smile at that, which unfortunately vanished as soon as Taehyung got his hands on the box with Heparin shots. "I seriously hate them." he said again, hands clenched around his hoodie which was, of course, black. 

"I know," Taehyung nodded, sitting down next to Jeongguk on the couch once he unwrapped a shot. "And it will hurt a little, but think; this is your first one. Once you get this one, you know what it's like and can be prepared!"

Jeongguk did not look any less anxious, knee shaking as he rocked his healthy foot up and down. "Let's just get it over with," he muttered. "Which body part do you need?"

"You choose. You can do stomach or thigh," Taehyung said calmly and laid his hand on Jeongguk's knee, stilling the movement. When Jeongguk looked even more anxious, Taehyung added, "My brother tried both, and he said that the stomach hurt less for him. Wanna try that?"

Jeongguk swallowed heavily, and nodded, already rolling up his hoodie for easier access. "Yeah. Okay, yeah, let's do that."

Taehyung leaned over, already positioning the sharp needle when Jeongguk stopped him. Taehyung froze by himself when he noticed the small tears accumulating in those doe eyes. "Can you do it slowly? Not fast like it's always done in movies." Jeongguk whispered.

Taehyung nodded hastily. "Yes, of course," he assured his friend, his free hand going over Jeongguk's in an attempt to calm him. "The needle goes in first, then comes the injection, okay? We'll do it very slow."

"Okay," Jeongguk swallowed again and let go. "Ready."

Taehyung smiled. A sense of pride filled him, and he didn't know if it was of himself or of Jeongguk. "Breathe in, and out," he instructed, lining up the needle again, and pushed. Jeongguk winced as the metal pierced his skin, and only relaxed when all was in.

"All good?" Taehyung asked concerned, eyes stuck to Jeongguk as he examined his face for any pain or discomfort. His friend just nodded, distinctively not looking down where the syringe is stuck in his stomach. Taehyung nodded and pushed down, administering the injection until it was empty, and immediately pulled the syringe out.

"You did it," he said gently, placing the syringe aside and holding Jeongguk by the arms. "You did it, Gguk. It's over." 

Jeongguk exhaled and quickly pulled the hoodie down again, his hands shaking slightly. "Sorry," he mumbled. "I'm behaving like an idiot right now. I mean, it's just a needle."

"No, it's not." Taehyung frowned and sat next to his friend, his hand coming down and holding Jeongguk's so that he'd stop picking at his skin. "It's not just a needle for you, Jeongguk. And you're not behaving like an idiot." His friend looked up, eyes wide and a little glossy. The twinge in Taehyung's chest turned into an actual stab.

"I'm scared of water." he deadpanned, not knowing why this was the first fear he could think of, but nevertheless he continued. "Not as in, general water, but I'm scared of the sea, or oceans, or whatever has a lot of water and huge depth. I hate it. I can't swim."

Finally, the frown on Jeongguk's face relaxed, turning into an empathic smile instead. "I could teach you." he whispered, his hands slowly shaking less and less. It was working. "I've swam all my life, I'm a good teacher."

Taehyung smiled back. The pain in his chest vanished, leaving behind a fluttery feeling that only grew alongside Jeongguk's smile. "Then we got a trade. I help you with your shots, and in return you teach me how to swim once that stupid ass cast is off. Deal?" More joking than not, he held out his hand.

Jeongguk just laughed gently and nodded, shaking it. "Deal." he grinned. The fluttery feeling in Taehyung's chest burst like a firework.

Chapter Text

Rrrrrring!

Click.

"Kim household?"

...

"Anyone there? Hello?"

"If God is the Almighty, the one true light waiting at the end of the tunnel, why'd He create people who decide head-on that He doesn't exist?"

"...Gguk? What the fuck? How high are you?"

"Five foot eight. I think."

"Alright then."

...

"Want me to come over?"

"Please."

"Give me ten."

.

"Seriously?" Taehyung laughed as soon as the door to the Jeon trailer opened, revealing a raven haired boy who was more burrito than boy thanks to the massive, furry blanket wrapped around him.

The only thing not hidden by the fabric was the absolute birdsnest of hair and the foot cast peeking from the bottom.

Jeongguk shifted and eventually got an eye out. Judging by the growing wrinkle between his eyebrows, he was clearly Not Happy to be in the broad daylight. It was half past 2 on a Thursday afternoon. Jeongguk looked like he just got up.

"Good morning to you too, sweetheart," Taehyung snickered snd pushed past the grumbling burrito, going straight into the home like he owned it.

It was Day Six since Jeongguk attempted to start a kickboxing match with the picnic table, and lost instantly. Jeongguk called it the, quote, "one-on-one incident, street fighter JJK against Lord of the Wood, volume 1." 

Taehyung called it One Hit K.O. 

The first time he said that, on Day Two, Sejin wheezed so hard into his beer bottle that foam shot out his nose. Taehyung had been repeatedly invited to stay over since then, so... Well, things with Sejin weren't so bad after all. And indeed, Taehyung had visited Jeongguk almost everyday since. 

That's also why he knew to turn left instantly, passing through a creaky door and sitting on the old, rusty thing Jeongguk called a bed. It was more of a flattened couch and less of a bed.

It did the trick though, allowing Taehyung rest as he took a hit from the joint Jeongguk had lit, using a shiny, silver lighter that Taehyung vaguely recognized to be his own once. Oh well. It looked better in Jeongguk's hand anyway.

Soon enough, he followed Jeongguk in the airy path across the clouds that was the effect of weed. Only that Taehyung merely landed on cloud 3, and Jeongguk had long since arrived in outer space.

"I just don't get it." he mumbled, his injured leg sprawled across Taehyung's lap like it was the most normal thing in the world. "If, say, atheists are bad, or-, Or homosexuality. Then why does it exist?"

Taehyung tensed up. His hand, which was loosely draped over Jeongguk's cast, tightened momentarily.

"Well," he sighed, hoping that Jeongguk didn't notice his momentary response. "My parents, they are very religious as you probably know. And they say that God gives you these troubles to teach you lessons. To make you learn of some values the hard way." 

He remembered it as clear as day, when he was just ten years old and asked a very similar question during dinner. His parents had halted mid-movement, looking at him as if he just spat in their faces. He remembered how his father's face turned red when he sent Taehyung up to his room. A punishment for asking such a question, despite the fact that young Taehyung didn't finish even just a fifth of his dinner.

His mother came up to him later, tucking him into bed and softly reprimanding him for questioning the will of God. "Some people are misguided," she had said. "And the Lord allows them to find their way to him. So that they prove themselves worthy of his love, his blessing."

'The same way a child must prove itself worthy of its parents' love?' Taehyung thought now, the mushy ease inside him beginning to tinge dark with bitterness. He was never much of a believer, and he despised his parents for ruining his view on religion.

"Sounds like a load of bullshit," Jeongguk whispered, unaware of Taehyung's state of mind and breaking him out of his thoughts. "Why would we have to fight for the love of the guy who made us? Don't we deserve it for being who he made us to be? ...If everything he does has meaning, why would I land in hell for being born gay and then choosing to stay gay? I don't get it. That's the dumbest thing I ever heard. Like God can't choose what is right and what is wrong. Is God just a drama queen?"

Taehyung laughed. The sound was harsh, more bitter than he wanted and disruptive. "I don't either," he grinned joylessly. A gentle hand found its way to Taehyung's arm, comforting without words. Even while high as fuck, even without the slightest idea of what Taehyung was thinking, Jeongguk still seemed to have that desperate urge to help. 

Taehyung thought that if he could take out his heart and offer it to Jeongguk as a tribute for... well, everything... He would. 

"Do you believe in God, Tae?" Jeongguk asked then, his voice almost uncharacteristically soft. "Or in something higher than us? Something powerful and ineffable?" he followed up. His eyes were wide and unbelievably earnest, and Taehyung found that he couldn't look away. He bit his lip, considering his answer only mildly carefully.

"I don't know." he mumbled. "Maybe as a kid. But probably only because my parents decided that for me back then, and now that I'm not a kid anymore... I'm not sure. I feel like I don't know anything anymore."

Jeongguk didn't answer, only examined him thoroughly as though he was reading an open book. Well, maybe he was, and the thought of that made Taehyung shift uncomfortably. He didn't like being easy to read, and yet Jeongguk had figured him out long ago.

"Do you?" he asked then. His hand twitched, moving from Jeongguk's cast to his knee and tapping lightly. "Do you believe in God?"

"Maybe." Jeongguk's answer came fast, like he didn't even have to think. 

"I don't like the thought of some higher being deciding what I am, or if I'm worthy of a happy afterlife. Judging me at the end of my being." he confessed. "If God is a universal being, a personification of the laws of our reality, our universe, then maybe. But if he's some guy consciously deciding what happens to me and why then he can kiss my mortal ass."

Taehyung barked out another laugh, lighter than before. His parents would've been absolutely horrified at Jeongguk's answer, and that only delighted him even more.

.

Taehyung didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep when he woke up, the hazy darkness disturbed by someone coughing.

"Well, aren't you two a picture," Sejin grumbled, eyeing the bed where Taehyung lay. It took the latter a minute to realize that Sejin was talking about the way Jeongguk was utterly entangled with Taehyung, the injured leg spread across Taehyung's knees and head resting on his shoulder.

Jeongguk was still far gone, the breeze of his slow breathing brushing like feathers over Taehyung's neck. 

Ever since the hospital, something had changed in Jeongguk... Almost like he realized that Taehyung was not going to leave him alone anytime soon. Jeongguk had always somewhat been an open book, incapable of hiding his feelings and saying exactly what he thought.

But there was now a spark of trust that hadn't been there before. Plus, Jeongguk was cuddly as hell now that he knew Taehyung wouldn't reject it.

Smiling to himself, Taehyung turned back to Sejin and whispered, "It's comfortable for him. He can't lay right, y'know, because of the leg."

Which was arguably true, considering it was what Jeongguk told him at some point in the last few days. He always slept on his side, but the thick cast on his foot made it difficult to find a good position without straining his leg somehow.

Sejin nodded slowly, not saying anything else. An unreadable emotion clouded his eyes, flickered across his face, but he left the room before Taehyung could ask him. 

Taehyung sunk into his thoughts, mildly worried that something about him and Sejin's nephew touching like this had offended Sejin. Boys didn't really cuddle, especially not like this. They just didn't. Taehyung was only doing it so that Jeongguk could rest without pain, which really was more important.

But did Sejin see it like that?

"Tae?" Jeongguk mumbled, head lifting a little. His eyes looked like they'd close again any minute and pull Jeongguk back to unconsciousness. "S' everything okay?"

Taehyung snickered quietly at the absolute mess that was Jeongguk's bed hair. Before he knew it his hand reached out and tangled itself in the dark mass, carding through it in an attempt to loosen the chaos.

"Everything's alright, Ggukie," he promised and gently nudged Jeongguk's head back down. "Don't worry, you can go back to napping. You look like you haven't slept in days."

Jeongguk followed his instructions without uttering a protest, nuzzling back to where he was previously resting. His hand, previously stuck somewhere between his side and Taehyung's, moved up to lie curled under his chin.

His breathing evened out again in a matter of seconds, all while Taehyung slowly carded through his black hair.

Jeongguk's peaceful, yet vulnerable state and his resting face ignited a warmth in Taehyung, not for the first time. It was the same warmth he had been feeling every now and then, mostly in Jeongguk's company.

An urgent, yet uncomfortable thought scattered across his mind, trying to bug him and animate him to think about this in greater detail. He knew what this warmth meant, didn't he?

But right then, thanks to either the remnants of weed or sleep trying to pull him back under, Taehyung decided that it wasn't his fucking problem and buried his head in Jeongguk's hair.

Chapter Text

There were too many people here.

Even with the comforting weight of a drink in his hand and Jeongguk's promise that he'd be right back soon, Taehyung still felt like a fish entering shark-infested waters.

.

A few weeks had passed since the One Hit K.O. incident, and just a couple of days ago, Jeongguk finally got rid of the cast covering his foot. So, what would be the first thing for Jeongguk to set his mind on?

Drag Taehyung out to that competition he had gotten a flyer for, the same one where Jeongguk and his band Dionysus would be competing. Was Taehyung excited?

...

"You ready, big boy?" Jeongguk had greeted him, leaning out the window with a big, bunny-toothed smile just as he pulled his Chevy into the driveway of Taehyung's house.

Honestly, Taehyung's brain pretty much collapsed on itself when he saw Jeongguk. He was in black, as always, but his usual hoodie and loose jacket had been swapped out for a tight, black shirt with a low-cut neckline, covered only by a leather jacket with silver studs. Jeongguk's ebony hair, usually let loose, was swept away from his forehead and formed into a stylish mess, revealing the sharp undercut.

That in itself was bad enough, but Jeongguk's eyelids were powdered so black that they almost looked like hollow eye sockets, and did his skin seem paler than usual?

The heat beginning to rise within Taehyung was familiar and yet entirely foreign as he attempted to process what he was seeing. The attempt failed. And then he spotted the choker around Jeongguk's neck.

'I'm entering territory that I'm not ready for.'

Taehyung swallowed heavily.

"Wait," Jeongguk leaned farther out the window, arm resting against the frame as he took a closer look at Taehyung. "Hm, it's still missing the..." He made a weird gesture with his hand, eyes squinting, before he leaned back and to the other side to open the passenger door. "C'mon, get in, we're already a bit low on time."

Taehyung nodded, finally out of his stupor as he rushed to the other side, getting in and closing the door just as Jeongguk drove backwards out of the driveway. His hand came to rest on Taehyung's seat as he looked over his shoulder, and that's how Taehyung spotted the silver bracelets and rings adorning every inch of exposed skin.

He was in deep, deep trouble.

On the way to the event, Taehyung really hoped for some peace and quiet so that he could catch his breath, and it was anything but. Feeling especially chatty, Jeongguk apparently was trying to talk Taehyung's ear off. Luckily for him, some of the information was useful.

"-And there will be a few beefy men, you can ignore those. They look scary, but they're really just there to make sure that no one's starting trouble," Jeongguk explained, right hand waving around in strange gestures while the left remained clenched tightly around the wheel. "Like security, basically. You'll know when you see them. Oh, and anyone will look really mean and scary, but trust me, they're fine."

Taehyung nodded, hands placed neatly in his lap. Jeongguk had "disguised" him well with the black jeans, attached chains, and shirt that mentioned something Taehyung had never even heard of. He even attempted to style his hair the same way those people in Jeongguk's pictures did, and considering the fact that the latter hadn't said anything about it yet was probably good.

"I have to warn you, though," Jeongguk said then, glancing to his side. His eyes met Taehyung's for just under a second before he turned back to the road. "I mean, I know you attended a few parties earlier in life, but here it's a little different. There aren't many nights like these in our area, so when this particular bar does host a night, it's... Y'know. Full to the absolute brim."

Well, that was honestly understandable, Taehyung thought.

"It will be very crowded." Jeongguk continued. "The music will be like an assault on your ears until you get used to it, and people tend to... cross your boundaries more. Just... Be careful. If it gets too much, then just remove yourself from the bar for a minute."

Taehyung nodded again, eyes kinda stuck to Jeongguk's face, which was why it took him a second to realize that they were pulling into an all-familiar road following into the woods. "Wait, what're we doing here?" he finally asked when the car came to a stop and Jeongguk pulled the handbrake. "I thought we're off to the bar?"

"We are." Jeongguk said, calm as ever as he unbuckled and leaned back to the seats behind him, rummaging around. "We still have a bit of time. I wanna put that to good use." he finally came back to the front, but with a brush, pencil, and an eyeshadow palette stuck between his fingers. "May I?"

Taehyung stared at the makeup, then at Jeongguk, and sighed. "Alright, just do it," he grumbled, and the grin on Jeongguk's face broadened slowly. "What's the worst that could happen?"

(Well, that would be the fact that Jeongguk had to get very close to apply the makeup accurately, and apparently also had the habit of sticking his tongue between his teeth when he concentrated. Taehyung was trapped between the car door and the still familiar, still confusing pull in his stomach.)

.

The music's... loud. Louder than Taehyung thought it would be, at least. Also, the bar was fucking full.

No wonder Jeongguk warned him so thoroughly.

"YOU TRY TO PUSH AWAY, BUT I'M RIGHT BACK AT IT,
YOU AND ME ARE ALWAYS GONNA BE MAGNETIC,"

Taehyung nearly spilled his drink twice, thanks to people running and bumping, and crashing into him. The sleeve of his (Jeongguk's) ripped and stitched-up jean jacket was already wet from the contents of his plastic cup constantly splashing up.

"NO MATTER HOW FAST I RUN,
YOU PULL ME BACK EVERY TIME,
I TRY TO PUSH AWAY, BUT YOU'RE RIGHT BACK AT IT,
YOU AND ME ARE ALWAYS GONNA BE MAGNETIC,"

He couldn't really care about it, though, because he was way too busy pushing his way towards the now unlit little stage at the very back of the bar.

"Thrilling performance, Wage War! ..." The voice of eight ball's owner boomed through the entire building, the walls shaking with the announcement as the audience cheered for the band that had just finished performing.

"Sorry, sorry," Taehyung muttered repeatedly as he made his way to the very front, feeling like everyone's eyes were on him even though that couldn't be. He knew very well that purely based on looks, he fit well into the crowd. Maybe a little too well. (God, if his parents could see him... He'd be so grounded, gravity'd be getting jealous.)

"Next up, getting ready, we have..." The owner stood at the very edge of the stage, microphone gripped tightly in his hand. "An original song, performed by a band who's not quite so new, the oiled up guests with us know who we're talkin' about... Dionysus!"

Around Taehyung, several people erupted into loud cheers, raising their drinks and bottles to the 4 men gathering on the stage, with Jeongguk at the very front. For a brief moment, all Taehyung saw was the boy clad entirely in black, ebony color devouring any light shining down on it.

Jeongguk's eyes, usually so round and starry and chocolate brown, suddenly held the power of a sun behind their sharp, black form. That wasn't Jeongguk, that was JK, Dionysus' front man.

Before Taehyung could think about concepts like dignity or embarrassment, he became the loudest voice in the entire audience.

"I didn't think to question - the blissful truth,
That your intentions were all pretend, and this sinking feeling's you."

It was only until Jeongguk stepped forward, a hot red guitar in his hands and voice singing straight into the mic, that Taehyung realized that their song had begun. Bass, drums, and guitar all came together, forming into one perfected piece, and yet all he could hear was the melody that Jeongguk formed, that he sang like it was his last day on Earth.

"I'm feeling exhausted, I just wanna be free,
To claw myself from death's front door and not let him capture me,"

The bass thrummed against Taehyung's chest, so deep and so steady that it was impossible to ignore. Like a drum calling him closer, a call that was only interrupted by Jeongguk's voice, demanding attention. Taehyung took a few slow steps forward again, closing the distance between the stage and himself until he could see the beads of sweat on Jeongguk's forehead.

"I just can't help but say that we should know better,
We should know better, and I,"

Suddenly, Jeongguk's piercing eyes found Taehyung and stared straight into him, as if there weren't dozens of people around him and shadows engulfing him entirely.

It didn't matter that the challenging tone of the song distorted Jeongguk's face, or that the many lights towards the stage blinded him constantly, or that dancing guests and drunks were constantly running into Taehyung's back and sides, pushing him back and forth. For a moment, there was only them.

"I just can't help but feel like we should know better,"

The realization hit him that he had heard this song before. He remembered Jeongguk humming it; he could hear it clear as day in his head - the soft vibrations of Jeongguk's voice, the calmness that the song seemed to bring. The humming in Taehyung's head joined the chaos thrumming in his ears, melting into one, and suddenly, the whole world was different.

"Maybe if I take back what you mean to me,
Just like you took my self-belief,"

It was like Taehyung was infected with the same chaos that had the crowd going, because from one moment to another, like a flipped page, he could feel everything. He felt the wild energy that kept everyone on their toes; he felt the beat and guitar deep in his bones, and the music was so loud that he couldn't hear himself think.

"It's like a war I fight inside myself,
I always lose and I can't help,"

When Jeongguk screamed his text into the mic, Taehyung found himself screaming along.

"Fall for the beating of my glass heart!"

.

The Earth turned on its axis.

Taehyung sweated like a pig; he felt every single inch of makeup on his face, his toes were crushed, and there was alcohol pulsing through his veins for the first time in months, and yet he was on top of the world. He danced, he drank, he screamed when another band came with another masterpiece. He couldn't even tell how much time had passed.

At some point, two guys at once crashed right into him, sending all three of them tumbling to the ground in a limb-entangled, mildly wet mess.

"Fuck- Dude, I'm so sorry!" A man screamed nearly incoherently into Taehyung's ear, just as he was pulled right back up and on his feet like nothing had happened. The world spun a little, and Taehyung needed a moment before he could stand properly again.

"You okay? Sorry, Wooyoung, here is a little blind sometimes." The second guy added, hand firm on Taehyung's shoulder until the latter found his balance again. The shorter guy, Wooyoung, apparently, gaped and hit the second guy straight in the chest.

"Oh fuck off, hyung. Some dude literally pushed me. Or maybe you did, hm? How much did you drink again?"

"Wait," Taehyung stuttered, stilling the conversation between the strangers as two sets of slanted eyes fell on him. "You're Korean?" he asked then, strangely feeling happy, which he immediately blamed on the alcohol in his system.

Indeed, the two guys in front of him were definitely asian, one a little taller, with sharp eyes and sporting short, dark hair with red streaks. The other guy, Wooyoung, was a few inches shorter with long hair tied at the back. His cat-ish eyes immediately reminded Taehyung of a kitten, especially when they narrowed in reaction to his words.

"Yeah!" he answered, grinning widely as he did a mock bow before pointing to himself. "Wooyoung Jung," his hand moved to the taller boy standing next to him. "And San Choi! We're Korean-American! ...Wait, are you...?"

"Korean-American," Taehyung answered automatically, spilled drink long forgotten. "Taehyung Kim. I was born in Daegu, and my parents brought me here as a newborn."

The three of them exchanged dumbfounded glances before Wooyoung broke into excited laughter. "Holy shit, that's amazing! You gotta come with us, we got a whooole gang of us here! Come, come!" Just like that, the boy grabbed Taehyung's wrist and began to weasel his way through the crowd, San following them closely behind with an amused grin on his face.

"Guys!! Guys, look who we found!!"

Taehyung was dragged off to a table not far from the entrance, crowded and full by the 6 other people occupying it. All six of them were Asian, if not Korean. Next to Taehyung, Wooyoung was positively buzzing, slipping from English to Korean without the slightest hint of an accent in either language.

"This is Kim Taehyung, from Daegu!"

Six pairs of eyes moved from Wooyoung and locked on Taehyung, and the table erupted into cheers.

"Nice to meet you, Taehyung-ssi!"

"Taehyung-ssi!! I'm Yunho!"

"Where in Daegu are you from?? I used to live there-"

"Come sit, we got Soju! You can have some!"

Just like that, Taehyung found himself seated in the midst of a bunch of Koreans grinning at him, treating him like they'd known him for years. The guy sitting on his right, a man with bleached, fringey hair and a Cheshire grin, leaned closer and smiled. He seemed a little more gentle and less energetic, at least when compared to his friends.

"Very nice to meet you. I hope the others don't overwhelm you too much." In typical American fashion, he shook Taehyung's hand and immediately offered him a glass of soju. "I'm Hongjoong, 21 years old. You already met San and Wooyoung. The others are Yunho, Jongho, Mingi, Yeosang, and Seonghwa hyung."

Taehyung just grinned right back, taking the glass and chugging it Korean style. "Taehyung, 19." he nodded. "I'm here with a friend."

"Oh, who? Do we know 'em?" Wooyoung interrupted, having taken a seat next to Yunho with San following after him. He leaned over the table, eyes glinting mischievously.

"We know almost everyone here," San explained, grinning sheepishly over the head of his friend. "You could say that we are regulars. Especially at this bar."

Taehyung hummed, smiling right back with the same confidence. Like an old flame alight, his charm and charisma as V came right out as if it had never been gone. Old habits die hard, if at all. "I'm with Jungkook. He's one of the competitors, he-"

"Jeongguk!" Yunho interrupted, laughing. "Of course! Jeon Jeongguk, the little boy with the-," His hands waved around without a particular goal. "Y'know, the..."

"Doe eyes?" Seonghwa helped, and the table broke out into noise again, this time in agreement. "Yeah, we know that baby bun! He's in Dionysus, right?"

"Yes!" Yunho nodded, just as his eyes turned back on Taehyung. "Ohh, so you're Taehyung~," he grinned.

"Oh." Wooyoung frowned before he too began to grin. "Oh! Of course, that Taehyung!"

"You're Jeongguk's friend," Jongho smirked, eyebrows wiggling confusingly. "That Taehyung."

Taehyung frowned, eyes glancing around. Everywhere he looked, the table was filled with smug eyes and knowing gazes, and suddenly Taehyung had the strong feeling that something was off. What the hell was happening?

"What-"

"Alright. That's enough, boys." Seonghwa interrupted gently, and indeed, the others immediately calmed down as Seonghwa turned back to Taehyung. "Yeah, we know Ggukie. He's a good friend, and we hang out regularly at parties. He's here with his bandmates, right?"

"Oh, so that's why you were all alone in the crowd!" San nodded quickly, putting two and two together. When Taehyung's eyes snapped over to him, he found the other half entangled with Wooyoung. More specifically, Wooyoung had crawled halfway onto San's lap and now used his arm as a pillow. His eyes seemed to trace the line of San's jaw, which he had a perfect close-up of with his head resting on San's shoulder.

For some reason, Taehyung couldn't stop looking, and unfortunately, he wasn't as subtle with his looks as he thought, because a few minutes into the mindless chatter, Seonghwa tapped his arm and leaned closer, whispering to him. "I know it's probably a bit weird for you to see, but just ignore these two. Youngie and San always act like this; it's almost like they're expecting someone to jump out and attempt to separate them by death or something."

Taehyung snorted. But his eyes lingered anyway, especially when he noticed that San's hand was deeply entangled with Wooyoung's.

.

At some point, the group dispersed, returning to the dance floor or the bar. Taehyung was right in the middle of the crowd, making his way through to search for Jeongguk, whose audition on stage had been over an hour ago now.

He just managed to get closer to the bar when he walked past something that froze him to the spot in an instant.

Now, if it were any other couple, he'd ignore them, though he would also judge them in silence for at least not retreating to a corner to make out. It wasn't the "eating each other's face off" part that caught his attention anyway; it was the red-streaked hair, which he had seen just a few minutes earlier.

At first, he didn't even realize who San was with. If anything, he silently congratulated his newfound friend - friend? Acquaintance? Buddy? - for finding some company for the evening. But then one of the stage lights briefly moved over him and his partner, illuminating their silhouettes, and the realization hit Taehyung that the partner was Wooyoung.

His brain shut down entirely.

It was only when a hand came on his shoulder that Taehyung realized he had been entirely dissociated, disconnected from this reality and visiting two or three dimensions further.

"I was looking for you everywhere!" Jeongguk yelled into his ear when Taehyung finally turned around. "You alright?!" The music of the current band was so loud that Jeongguk had to legitimately scream to be louder. It sounded so close to that scream he did during his own performance, and a heat wave rolled over Taehyung's already warm body.

Without waiting for his response, Jeongguk grabbed Taehyung's hand and dragged him off, out of the crowd, and eventually the entire bar. In front of the building it wasn't necessarily less crowded, but people were more dispersed and quiet, and the fresh air finally pulled Taehyung back into reality. Like an anchor made of Titanium.

"Holy fuck, man," he found himself laughing. He didn't even have more than five drinks, and yet he felt as high as a kite. "I don't know what the fuck you dragged me into, but I'm having one hell of a time."

Jeongguk laughed loudly and dragged him towards a nice little corner a bit further from the loud music, and Taehyung noticed only now how open, no... How free the younger sounded. How unburdened Jeongguk looked. 'This is his domain,' he realized. This, right here, this bar and this music, these people... This world.

Jeongguk shared a deeply hidden part of himself with Taehyung, allowing him to enter despite the risk of being ridiculed, or even worse, considering their past.

The realization of the weight of Jeongguk's action hit Taehyung, just like the air had when they had left the bar.

Jeongguk, entirely unaware of the emotions brewing up in Taehyung, sat down on the steps of a long closed shop, sighing heavily like he dropped a huge rock off his shoulders. Without thinking of how narrow the steps were, Taehyung sat down right next to his friend, shoulders brushing.

"Sooo, you like it?" Jeongguk asked, his elbow bumping Taehyung's in a lighthearted manner.

He snorted. "Well, I barely drank, like, 3 glasses of... Something, and yet I already feel fucking drunk, and I made friends with, in total, a solid dozen of people who were definitely 10 bottles deep. What the fuck did you drag me into?"

Jeongguk laughed again, the sound much higher and more airy than Taehyung had ever heard before. The frontman, as always, lit up a cigarette using a lighter that was of a familiar metallic design, sleek and expensive. If Jeongguk saw the grin Taehyung had at the sight, then he didn't mention it.

"That's the magic of the people and the music, Tae," he smiled, offering Taehyung the same cig he just took a long drag from. Taehyung took it without a word, gaze flicking from the white tube up to Jeongguk's smiling eyes.

"It really is, isn't it? Magical?" he muttered back, their eye contact never wavering. In that moment, he wasn't entirely sure which magic he was talking about. A calming silence washed over them, the dull music from the bar faded into static noise.

Taehyung realized that from up close, Jeongguk's eyes looked like they held millions of lights in them, starbursts upon starbursts hidden in the chocolate brown. He couldn't stop looking.

"Oh my God, hi guys!"

Taehyung flinched forward, entirely put off by a very drunk boy suddenly crashing into his back and wrapping his arms around Taehyung's shoulders. A quick glance behind told Taehyung that it was just one of the boys he met earlier, though he wasn't sure who.

"Yunho!!" 

Well, at least Jeongguk knew him, if not evident by the direct call of the boy's name then by the way Jeongguk's whole face lit up in an instant. For a brief moment, Taehyung tried to recall if Jeongguk ever looked like that when he recognized Taehyung.

"Jeonggukie!" Yunho squealed back and let go of Taehyung, only to instantly crash into Jeongguk's awaiting arms. The two of them hugged tightly like they'd been apart for years, even though Taehyung distantly remembered Hongjoong mentioning that they'd seen him just last week.

Speak of the devil, just like that Hongjoong, Yeosang and the rest of the boys appeared, gathering around them in a loose circle. A strange feeling creeped up in Taehyung when he spotted Wooyoung and San were there too, lingering in the far back and still looking a little dishevelled from earlier.

The world slowed down as Taehyung examined them. The cogs in his brain ticked in all different directions, like they didn't know what exactly it was they were supposed to work on. He could feel that weird thought again, the same one that tried to alert him a few weeks, only to be snuffed by the weed Taehyung had consumed.

That same thought made another attempt at taking form, gaining weight and becoming an uncomfortable blur in Taehyung's conscious.

It was San who snapped Taehyung back into reality, by abruptly returning Taehyung's look and narrowing his eyes. Something dark flicked across his handsome face, slow enough for Taehyung to catch and yet too fast to linger.

Taehyung got the message anyway and cast his eyes down. He had the feeling that San knew what was going on inside his mind. An apology began to form on the tip of Taehyung's tongue and almost spilled out, but Taehyung stopped it last minute. An apology for... what exactly? For staring? For catching San make out? With a boy of all people?

"Tae. Taetae," Jeongguk muttered, suddenly much closer to Taehyung than before and tugging at his sleeve like a toddler. Taehyung instantly turned to his friend, all crisis thrown out the window and replaced by Jeongguk's voice. "The others want to go to Hongjoong's house to hangout and stuff, do we wanna go too?"

The corner of Taehyung's mouth quirked up. "Are you making me choose for both me and you?" he asked as something warm bubbled up in his throat. Jeongguk shrugged and nodded at the same time, his wide eyes seeming to sparkle.

The warm bubble threatened to burst.

"Sure, Jeonggukkie. Might be fun, and they're cool people," Taehyung shrugged back and his friend instantly lit up again, like a lamp being turned on. Within the next second, Jeongguk was up and clasped Taehyung's hand, dragging him on his feet.

"Let's go!" he said, overly excited and making the others laugh before he came to a stop again. "...Someone else has to drive. I already drank a bit, I'm not gonna risk it."

"Oh yeah, me too..." Taehyung hissed through his teeth, lecturing himself for forgetting that one of them was supposed to stay sober.

"It's fine, guys!" Seonghwa interrupted, smiling gently at Taehyung, then Jeongguk. "I didn't drink anything. Hongjoong didn't, either."

"Me neither." Yeosang added, his deep voice hitting Taehyung unexpectedly. "We can all drive. The eight of us came in separate cars anyway, maybe one or two more could ride with you?"

Jeongguk nodded enthusiastically and began walking again. His fingers were still wrapped around Taehyung's hand, and so the latter just scattered along before he'd be dragged again.

"Just be careful with my car, Joongie?" Jeongguk cringed and began to dig for his keys... Using only his free hand and still refusing to let go of Taehyung. "It's not special to me, but it already went through some shit and I'm already scared of slamming the door too damn hard."

From the corner of his eye, Taehyung could see San looking back and forth between him and Jeongguk, visibly deep in thought as his eyes finally set on Taehyung's hand, which was still in Jeongguk's grip.

The weight of the (yet) formless thought returned to Taehyung's mind, heavier than before. He tried, he tried so hard to hold on to the whirring in his head, to catch the thought and see what it was trying to tell him so desperately.

It slipped from his fingers each time, like sand.

Chapter Text

"Seriously, Gguk, where are we going?"

"I told you before and I'll tell you again to just trust me! It's fine, seriously, it's nothing big!"

"Then why keep it a surprise??"

"..."

"Jeongguk~"

"Oh, shush, you... And eat your chocolate."

Pouting a little (a lot), Taehyung huffed, rolled his eyes and bit into his chocolate bar... Though he looked like he was silently promising Jeongguk that the topic wasn't over yet.

Jeongguk coughed to hide the smile forming on his face and focused on the road, illuminated only by his headlights. It's been another few days since that bar that he and Taehyung had attended, and man, was it a good idea to convince Taehyung to come. Both their moods and their friendship with each other had been on nothing but a positive streak since.

Hell, Jeongguk caught his friend humming a metal song here and there. Mission accomplished.

A sudden heatwave had hit Darryl out of nowhere, with temperatures going up to 80°, almost 90° Fahrenheit. It was March, and Jeongguk really wanted to rip off his clothes and jump straight in a puddle. He did almost go that far just yesterday, but then Jeongguk remembered a very special promise he had made to a very special someone, in exchange for helping him with those cursed Thrombosis shots to his poor stomach. 

(Jeongguk nearly cried in relief when the doctor told him he didn't have to take those shots anymore.)

"Are we even still in Darryl, or where the fuck..." Taehyung muttered under his breath, ripping Jeongguk out of his thoughts as he took a turn into a familiar street. Taehyung had a thoughtful look on his face as he stared out the window, as if attempting to find out where they were just by looking at the homes nearby.

"Yes, Mr. Kim, we're still in Darryl." Jeongguk snorted and pulled into a parking lot by a greyish, windowless building. The space was entirely empty, filled only by Jeongguk's Chevy. "It's probably just a block you haven't been to before." 

He parked seamlessly by a grand looking entrance and leaned back as soon as the motor shut off, grabbing a bag from the backseat. He swung it over his shoulder, nodded to Taehyung and left the car without another word, walking towards the entrance like he owned the building.

Taehyung, although hesitant, went right after him, having no issue catching up to the other and walking beside him... He promptly raised his eyebrows when Jeongguk took a turn right by the big glass doors and walked towards a smaller, more hidden entrance instead. 

"We're not breaking in, right?" Taehyung asked slowly when Jeongguk bent over, leaning down and pulling a key from one of the plants. The latter just snorted and rolled his eyes.

"What kind of man you take me for?" he asked and threw a glance over his shoulder. As soon as he did so, Taehyung's (previously tipped down) head turned away so sharp that it should've made his neck crack, and his cheeks began to blush... As if he had been caught staring.

Then Jeongguk realized he was wearing one of his favorite skintight pants.

'Well, that's one more thing that needs to be thought over,' he thought with a sigh and stood up straight. 'I'm not high enough for this.'

"No, we're not breaking in." he hummed and unlocked the door, pulling it wide open and letting Taehyung pass first. "I know the owner. This place is usually closed on Wednesdays and Sunday, but I get to go in anyway when I need movement. And that's literally only because Yoongi hyung has a personal vendetta against the town's gym." he snickered, watching as realization dawned on Taehyung while he looked around.

The pool house was simple, really, and not even that big. Just two pools, one small and one large for professional swimmers. Both shined a brilliant blue thanks to the cheap tiles, separated only by a bridge of white tiles in between. There were a few seats scattered around, and by the ceiling hung a sign that pointed to toilets and changing rooms in a corner.

One of the walls was made entirely of glass, mirrored only on the other side and keeping stalking eyes away. 

It wasn't even 8pm, and yet it was almost entirely dark outside. It gave the whole house a strange, otherworldly atmosphere, though that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It felt like a pocket universe, hidden between the folds of Darryl.

"Oh no." Taehyung mumbled, shoulders tense. "Oh God no. I know what you're going to do."

Jeongguk smiled and swung his arm over Taehyung's shoulders, first as a way of teasing him, then as a means of comfort. "First of all," he said and nudged his friend forward, in direction of the nearest two seats. "We're only here because I need a few laps in the pool. And coincidentally, there's another towel and a second pair of swim shorts in my bag."

Taehyung seemed paler and paler the more Jeongguk talked.

"But," Jeongguk continued when the brown haired boy wanted to speak up. "Whether or not you put those shorts on is entirely up to you. You could also just, y'know, stay here on dry land and keep me company."

At that, Taehyung slowly began to loosen up, his tensed muscles relaxing. He didn't even protest when Jeongguk pushed him down to sit on one of the seats. There was still this strange air around them, and so Jeongguk did what he could do best - talk.

About how he used to come here all the time even before his friend took over the place, about its history, about Jeongguk's history of being a competitive swimmer when he was younger before he stopped.

Taehyung took the bait of a topic change, looking a little shocked when Jeongguk mentioned it. "You? You used to compete?" he asked, not bothered enough to hide the surprise on his face. Jeongguk snorted and boxed him in the side.

"Can't be that unexpected, can it?" he huffed as he sat down, right across from Taehyung. "It's been a few years and I won't go back to it. It... actually kinda sucked, but I still swim a lot."

"It sucked?" his friend hummed, intrigued as he finally got comfortable on the chair, taking off his shoes in order to cross hos legs. 

Jeongguk nodded. "I mean, that's not that strange, competition can be like that." he sighed and Taehyung nodded in agreement. "But at some point it just... got so tiring. The other boys were unnecessarily provocative and mean towards the other teams, and then turned against each other, too. The true pinnacle of teamwork." he laughed sarcastically.

Behind them, a water flow activated, sending gentle waves. The bright lights of the hall reflected prettily by the moving water, casting patterns of light on Taehyung's relaxed face. Under the blue tones, his eyes seemed nearly black.

By now, Jeongguk knew that they were not black, but just a dark shade of coffee, with a stripe of lighter brown in his right eye, close to the pupil. 

"Is that why you left?" Taehyung asked quietly, unaware that Jeongguk wasn't simply loving the eye contact for the hell of it. "Because of the other boys being dicks?"

"No... Yes. I mean," Jeongguk answered before he could think, and promptly looked away. "I had to leave and recover for a few months because I broke my ankle. When I came back for a single day, the other boys wouldn't let it go that I was gone, even though I had a fucking good reason. Someone even joked that they'd break my ankle again if I didn't catch up."

That someone was Kris, but Jeongguk didn't mention that. He had a sneaking suspicion that Taehyung would Get Ideas if Kris was mentioned again. 

"When I went home that day, I never came back. Simple as that." He shrugged and got up, having decided that it was his cue to get in the water. He kicked off his shoes, beginning to strip his shirt too as he explained, "I put some snacks in the bag if you get hungry. There's also a radio in there... somewhere. You'll get it." 

When Taehyung said nothing in return, Jeongguk frowned and turned around, only to find his friend staring silently at Jeongguk's torso, mouth slightly ajar. 

Right. Taehyung had never seen Jeongguk's other tattoos before. 

...Taehyung had never seen Jeongguk without a shirt before, either.

Taehyung, seemingly having sensed that he was caught, immediately cast his eyes down. Clearing his throat, he glanced up once before asking. "When did you get all... that? Aren't you like, 16?"

"Fuck you!" Jeongguk laughed and threw his shirt at Taehyung, which hit him straight in the face. "I'm like, one year younger. And old enough." he snickered. The ink in his skin stared back when he looked down, but Jeongguk didn't regret any of them. 

"I got my first one when I was 15." he said casually and tipped his finger against a thorny rose sitting just under his belly button. The stem was curved and black, but the rose itself was a bright red. "This one. A friend of mine wanted to practice and I just agreed."

A soft smile took over his face as he thought back to the time, about how chaotic everything had been. Well, things were still chaotic nowadays, but now Jeongguk felt a strange calmness inside him. 

"Sejin was livid when he saw the tattoo months later. He didn't let me leave the house for a month." he chuckled and stripped of his pants, too. He'd already put the swim shorts on underneath, because he was a genius.

Taehyung's eyes followed Jeongguk's every move, but he looked away whenever Jeongguk was watching him. He didn't know the reason for his staring. Was it because Taehyung was simply admiring Jeongguk's physique, or maybe because the sight of Jeongguk's bare tattoos was making him curious? 

"And the rest?" he asked, nodding to the sketch of a green, almost comical dragon by Jeongguk's hip bone, or the vines wrapping three times around his upper arm. There were many more, just smaller or more hidden. Well, aside from his sleeve which was just beginning to take shape.

"Curious much?" Jeongguk dodged, switching to harmless teasing instead as he smirked at Taehyung. "Want me to hook you up with my tattooist?"

"God no," Taehyung groaned. "My parents would murder me. Seriously. It'd be, like, a homicide if I came home with ink scarred into my skin."

"Ah. Of course. The same parents who dress you like a grandpa." 

Taehyung only rolled his eyes at him. 

"The dragon is from an arcade game, Dragon's Lair." the younger explained, deciding for now that Taehyung had been teased enough. Maybe he wouldn't trust the whole thing enough to get in the water at all if that continued... "And the little buddy is called Singe. I don't know, I kinda got that one on a whim and a friend wanted to practice, so..."

"So, you went in as a guinea pig." Taehyung deadpanned and nodded, arms crossed. "I am not surprised."

"It was a nice experience!" Jeongguk defended himself and turned away, mumbling to himself as he walked to the larger pool. "'Was a nice experiment, too." He could almost feel the way Taehyung's eyes drilled into his back, however this time the air felt... static. Not in a nice way.

When he had turn back around in order to climb the ladder down into the cool water, he found that Taehyung was watching his every move with dark, narrowed eyes. His hands seemed to clench into his shirt like it was an anchor, not a thin fabric.

'Oh,' Jeongguk realized, and his smile fell away like sand in mid air. Taehyung's fear didn't just go for himself, it had begun to extend to Jeongguk. 'Congrats, Jeon. You're a dumbass.'

"Relax, Tae," he called out and did his best attempt at a self assured, yet gentle smile. "I used to swim competitively, remember? I'm good at what I do. Here, watch," he gestured and pushed himself off the middle of the ladder, jumping backwards into the water instead.

He had just a second to see the way Taehyung's face changed from stoic to shocked to scared before the water engulfed him, blurring his vision and drowning out the voice that called his name.

His body acted on instinct, bending him into a little backwards roll in the water before he dove up for air, breaking the surface just another second later. When he finally wiped his eyes free, Taehyung still looked scared, now staring in the water instead.

'Okay, that... may be more serious than I thought.' Jeongguk sighed internally. "Taehyung," he called out again, and his friend's eyes instantly landed on him. Jeongguk's smile turned fond, gentle. 

"Look," he nodded down at himself. "I'm afloat. I'm not drowning. Everything's okay. I am okay." he repeated, just to make sure that Taehyung heard him. Not just his voice, him.

Taehyung gave him a long look, still as a rock, then suddenly unfroze and leaned against the chair, arms still tightly crossed. "I know. I was just making sure." he muttered. Jeongguk only raised an eyebrow, choosing not to push him any further.

A comfortable silence spread in the hall as Jeongguk swam his laps. He dove a few times too, just to hover near the ground and relax into the weightlessness of being in the water. Everytime he came up for air, he could just barely catch Taehyung watching him before the latter looked away, as if to pretend.

Eventually the silence, though not awkward, grew too heavy for Jeongguk to bear. 

"You never mentioned it." he muttered in passing after he left the pool and marshed straight for his towel. The air did feel a little chilly when you're nearly naked. Taehyung looked up, as though Jeongguk had interrupted a deep thought.

"That you're scared of the water." Jeongguk added, and his friend's face turned sour in an instant. "Oh, don't look at me like that, Tae. You looked scared to death when I jumped in the pool."

"No I didn't!" Taehyung huffed quickly... A little too quick. And his ears slowly turned red, right with his cheeks. For how stoic Taehyung had been just months ago, he was expressive as fuck now. Was he even aware of that?

"Oh, please." Jeongguk rolled his eyes and sat down on his chair. His hair stuck uncomfortably close to the skin of his neck and forehead, slowly dripping chlorine water in his eyes. "Humor me. I'm literally scared of microwaves, and you didn't make fun of me or whatever. Do you think I'll make fun of you?"

Taehyung didn't answer at first. He only looked away, fiddling with his nails like they held the secrets of the universe and just had to be unlocked. Several minutes had passed and Jeongguk went to stand up when Taehyung suddenly reached over, grabbing Jeongguk's bag and searching it right under Jeongguk's dumbfounded eyes.

"May I take your bag, Jeonggukie? Why, of course, Taetae, whatever you need! Don't even worry about asking next time!" he imitated Taehyung, dramatic just for the sake of annoying his friend rather than anything. Indeed it worked, because the other glared at him and finally pulled out what he was looking for - the second pair of swim shorts.

Taehyung went back to avoiding Jeongguk's eyes as he got up, muttering a quiet, if not embarrassed, "be right back" before he disappeared behind the next best door. Unfortunately, Taehyung didn't turn around even once as he left. Otherwise, he would've seen the slowly growing pride on Jeongguk's face.

.

It took an eternity to have Taehyung climb in the shallow pool. At first he had just been standing there on dry land, hands on his hips as he eyed the water like it'd personally killed his dog. Jeongguk had to start coaxing and motivating him like a mad man before Taehyung finally stepped down the ladder.

Now, per Taehyung's request, they were here. With Taehyung trying and failing to figure out that, in order to float on one's back in the water, one must not waddle those arms like propellers. Jeongguk stood right next to him and watched on, stuck between confusion and genuine concern.

"Literally don't know what the fuck I'm doing." Taehyung bit out between his teeth, and Jeongguk began to wonder if it was a dumb idea to attempt this. Even a blind person could see the fear build up in Taehyung's eyes as he struggled in the water, one hand clenched around the metal ladder for support while the other splashed with every movement.

"It's alright, you almost got it-" Jeongguk tried to intervene, only to almost get slapped by said hand. "No, no, not like that! Just spread your limbs out. Evenly, no movement. The water will carry you and if anything fails, the ladder is for you to pull yourself up. Try again, you can do it!"

"Like this?"

Taehyung did exactly the same thing as before.

"...You're still moving them."

"I'm not a damn child, Jeon! Don't talk to me like one!"

The barked out comment had Jeongguk freeze, having forgotten that biting voice of Taehyung's because he hadn't heard it in months, if not at least a year or two. Probably sensing the change in the air following Jeongguk's silence, Taehyung got back on his feet, head cast down as if to avoid eye contact.

Jeongguk inhaled deeply. "Tae, I'm not trying to talk to you like you're a kid. I'm trying to give you instructions." he said calmly, though he struggled to fight against his inner instinct to turn and remove himself from the situation entirely.

'This is not high school,' he reminded himself and calmed his breathing. 'He's not your bully. Not anymore. He's Tae.'

"But," he continued then, and Taehyung finally looked up. His face was unreadable. "If you snip at me like that again, I'm leaving your dusty ass in this old, fucking pool. No hesitation."

"Jeon Jeongguk, you wouldn't dare." Taehyung grumbled under his breath, but the lighthearted threat made his arms finally relax against his sides. He still looked stiff as a lamp post, but any kind of progress counted as good progress. The attitude had Jeongguk huffing and rolling his eyes before he stepped closer. 

"I would and I will, so shut it." He glared and positioned himself near Taehyung, his hands hovering over the other's chest and back. "I'm gonna help you a little... Be nice! No more bitching."

Taehyung muttered something unintelligible, eyes downcast.

"I'm taking that as a 'yes, no more bitching.' Spread your arms out straight, like... like you're trying to make a cross out of yourself."

"Do I look like Jesus to you?" Taehyung snarked, but was instantly silenced by the sharp glare Jeongguk threw at him. "Sorry," was all he said afterwards as he raised his arms up. Goosebumps broke out on his skin as soon as Jeongguk placed a cool, yet gentle hand on his naked back.

"Alright, now just stay calm, breathe, and focus on relaxing. If anything goes wrong, I'm right here." 

Taehyung nodded silently and took in a deep breath. He exhaled just as Jeongguk placed his other hand by the boy's chest and gently tipped him back, lower and lower until the water carried him entirely. Even though it wasn't necessary, Jeongguk kept his hands exactly where they were. Like an anchor, for Taehyung to know that everything was alright.

"There you go!" Jeongguk grinned and Taehyung, who had closed his eyes at some point, blinked up at him. A sort of rosy color bloomed in his cheeks, but Jeongguk paid it no mind. "I'm gonna let go now, and I want you to just stay like this for a few seconds. Let yourself float."

Something flickered across Taehyung's face, too fast for Jeongguk to read, but Tae didn't say anything. He merely nodded and closed his eyes again, though Jeongguk could see his hands tighten into fists. He was still scared.

Jeongguk let go - and nothing happened. Taehyung didn't go under, he didn't start sinking. He floated on the surface, as relaxed as he could be in this position while the water carried him. Soon enough, the last bits of tension began to seep out of him, and that's when Jeongguk knew that he'd been successful, and he felt pride wash over him. Taehyung just took the first step towards conquering his fear, and Jeongguk felt so damn proud.

Beyond that, something heavy and warm began to bloom in his chest as he watched his friend float so peacefully. Jeongguk's eyes began to wander, soon finding a strange anchor on Taehyung's face which he couldn't look away from. 

It had been a while since he'd seen Taehyung so... calm. Quiet, calm, almost serene, whatever you might call it. The more time passed, the more he relaxed into the silence.

A quick glance at a giant, withered clock on one of the walls told Jeongguk that it had not been a few seconds like he said to Taehyung, but rather almost 5 minutes. He didn't mention it when he softly called out to Tae and told him that he could either get out now, or stay like this for a little longer.

He didn't bother hiding his smile when Taehyung pouted at him and then told him to "come float with me, Zeus boy." 

"It's Poseidon, you uncultured swine. Zeus was the fuck boy." he laughed, shaking his head just as he waddled closer to Taehyung. He leaned back until he felt the water replace gravity. Silence washed over them again, and time soon became meaningless.

They swam so close to each other that their hands touched at some point, but instead of pulling away, Taehyung hooked his pinky around Jeongguk's and held on.

"Thanks," he whispered. Jeongguk blinked and turned his head, confused by the intimate fashion in which Taehyung muttered. But the latter stoically kept his eyes closed. "For being patient with me. Y'know, even though I'm still a dick."

Jeongguk didn't answer at first, instead turning his head upright and staring at the shitty white ceiling. Yoongi really should've fixed that roof a long time ago. "It's alright." he found himself saying before he put any real thought into it. "We all act differently when we're scared. Fight or flight, or some shit like that."

...

"Whatever happened that made you so scared," he whispered back. "You wanna tell me about it?" The hesitance in his voice was obvious, even to his own ears, and he didn't like it. Jeon Jeongguk was many things, but not hesitant.

Taehyung didn't comment on it. His answer came rather quickly too, like it was thought through many times before today. "Some day," he agreed. "Some day I will. If you wanna hear it."

Jeongguk didn't answer, but he didn't have to. The hook around his pinky tightened.

When he drove them home later that night, Jeongguk pretended that he didn't spend several minutes staring at Taehyung, his close friend. Just like he pretended not to recognize the little sparks igniting in his hand when Taehyung locked their pinkies.

Or those familiar emotions taking root in Jeongguk's heart, each whispering Taehyung's name.