Chapter Text
Kaz already knew; he was Kaz, so of course he did, but Wylan still wanted to tell him anyway. Kaz had been the first to know about his dyslexia without judging him- he’d been the first to realise his potential, and had been the one to bring him on that fateful Ice Court Heist… even if Kaz didn’t quite grasp the hatefulness that Wylan’s father had towards his own son.
So, yes, Wylan would tell Kaz first, even if he did already know.
Well, technically Jesper knew as well, but that wasn’t entirely relevant either. They hadn’t really talked about this, but Jesper understood- and Jesper still loved him. Wylan prayed silently to the saints that his father’s conviction would go through soon, just so he could finally propose to Jesper. Maybe he should tell Colm before that as well- he didn't know if anyone still asked for the parent's hand in marriage, but he thought he should still tell Colm. Telling him may also have the extra added bonus of accidently having another person who wouldn't have any hesitation in not allowing his father anywhere near him... Maybe he should be more worried about how many people would be willing to commit murder for him- ah, well, that wasn't his fault, nor was it is problem.
Though, talking of murderers, Kaz was waiting for him.
Wylan arrived at the Slat early the next afternoon, and slipped inside through the front door before any of the Dregs noticed him. He still looked around timidly as he made his way through to Kaz’s office- even after everything, he still didn’t quite feel like he belonged in here. It took him longer to round up the courage to knock on the office door than it had for him to decide to do this; Wylan knew that Kaz had already figured him out, and he was aware that Kaz was likely to be in the middle of some new scheme and didn’t need any distractions, but Wylan’s fist still came up to the door, and he still knocked.
He wasn’t sure why he was holding his breath, or why his heart was fluttering just from the thought of talking to Kaz about this, and Wylan was so close to leaving and running back to his home, but a gruff “Come in, Wylan” came from within, and he was forced to open the door and walk through.
Kaz looked as deadly as ever, and his glare hadn’t eased up in the slightest, but he wasn’t looking murderous today, so Wylan called that a win. He came in quietly and gave Kaz a half-nervous, half-shy smile as he pulled up a chair and sat down. His gaze was aimed down at his lap, and he kept picking at the skin around his fingers using his nails. Wylan was very much regretting not having Jesper here with him, but he did know that if he wanted to do this, he had to do so himself.
“Out with it, Wylan. What business?” Kaz’s voice cut through Wylan’s internal conflict, but it still left him far too scared to speak, “I don’t have all day you know, I am a very busy man. I would think you’d be as well.”
“Right- I, yes. I have something to tell you.” Wylan studied Kaz’s face, searching desperately for any change in his demeanor to hint to Wylan about whether or not this would be a good idea. However, this was Kaz that he was talking about; Wylan couldn’t possibly attempt to read him.
“Well?”
“I wasn’t- well, I wasn’t exactly born a-”
“You weren't born a boy, is that what you were going to say?”
Wylan ducked his head a little from embarrassment while internally cursing himself for even bringing this up, because of course Kaz knew that already; and if Kaz knew, then Inej probably did as well. He didn’t want to know how, or even why this had been revealed to Kaz, but he had to expect this.
“Well yes- but. I just wanted to say- I just thought…” Wylan trailed off, but some of his worry was dissolved by Kaz just nodding. He didn’t seem angry, or annoyed, just tired of this. It made Wylan feel at least a little relieved… maybe just a little safe as well.
He still remembered the way his father had reacted; he still remembered the yelling and the pain, and the way that he’d felt another part of his soul disintegrate in his chest- another part of his hope that his father would change had withered away like the flowers in the vase in his mother’s old room.
Wylan had hated that house, and yet that was his home now; and he had his own family that he had chosen for himself. He had Jesper’s warmth all for himself in the morning, and he even had Kaz’s strange, brooding presence around. Occasionally, Inej would come back to Ketterdam and Wylan would just find her in the dining room when him and Jesper dragged themselves down for breakfast. There was no more yelling in that house- well, no more aggressive yelling, and there was no more pain…
Kaz was staring at him now, and Wylan realised that he probably should be leaving now, but he didn’t want to. There was a strange comfort he found in the barrel, the Slat especially. There were a lot of things he felt like he should tell Kaz- a lot of ‘thank you’s as well- but it was nothing that the other boy wouldn’t already expect or know.
Instead of worrying, Wylan gave Kaz a smile as he turned to leave to go back home.
“You’re welcome to come over for dinner tonight if you would like. The hole in the roof of the dining room has been fixed now if you would like to come along?” Wylan was halfway through the door as he spoke, but he still turned back to Kaz at his desk to wait for his reaction. All he got in return was a stiff shake of the head. Wylan did know that he wouldn’t accept, and he didn’t allow himself to be disappointed; Kaz likely had work to do- or maybe he'd just spend the night staring off to see, hoping to get a glimpse of Inej's ship. Wylan liked to think that it was the latter. No matter though! It would be just him and Jesper tonight for dinner then.
It sounded wonderful.