Work Text:
It was a late work day. Cheng Xiaoshi was completely exhausted; done with his tasks and work, wanting nothing more than to sink into the plush of his mattress and slumber forever. Perhaps even hibernate. He flopped down on his bed, throwing his shirt off somewhere but keeping his constricting binder on. He didn’t want to see his own body right now, didn’t want to look at his gross, sometimes gag-inducing skin. His hair tie had fallen off sometime earlier, and he made no move to retrieve it yet.
A door clicked behind him, soft footsteps padding across the floor. Cheng Xiaoshi hugged his pillow, sighing deeply into it. He hoped he would fall asleep soon enough, despite the vague tingling on his body which showed exertion.
His roommate did some things around the room, moving the stray laundry and snack wrappers away, throwing one into the laundry bin and the other into the trash respectively. The main lamp was turned off, but the desk night lamp stayed on, illuminating the room faintly.
When he returned, Cheng Xiaoshi had turned around, staring up at the ceiling. He blinked slowly. His lungs felt like they were burning. Cheng Xiaoshi didn’t want to change anything about that. Maybe he deserved it.
Lu Guang sat down on the mattress, it dipping under his weight. A sigh escaped him, not very impressed by how Cheng Xiaoshi is taking care of himself and his mental state.
He leaned down and forward, getting up close in his partner’s personal space. Not that the other minded, he would usually let him. Cheng Xiaoshi’s eyes blurred too much from his exhaustion, too.
Lu Guang ran his hands across Cheng Xiaoshi’s chest, his fingers hooking around the lower part of his binder.
“Okay?” He asked. He knew Cheng Xiaoshi was insecure about his chest, trying to hide it away at any opportunity.
The latter nodded. So, in turn, Lu Guang slowly pulled his binder off, revealing his chest. He gently set the article of clothing aside, his head delving down to kiss at his sternum.
“You should stop wearing your binder for so long,” Lu Guang murmured against his ribcage. Cheng Xiaoshi only sighed. It felt good, to be perceived as male. But the red indents beneath his ribcage had other testaments.
Lu Guang ran his fingers across the skin, gently, so as to not irritate it further. “It compresses your chest so much. And you know I don’t care, right?” Lu Guang inquired.
Cheng Xiaoshi stayed silent, his hand moving up to tangle in the white hair. Lu Guang trailed a path of kisses across his chest, moving over his collarbone, stopping at his neck, gently suckling at it. Cheng Xiaoshi sighed in pleasure. He would let Lu Guang stay close to him any day, would let him leave other marred marks on his skin.
His chest wasn’t even that big, as he’d been working out. It turned mostly into muscle, so he passed much more in everyday life; but there was the occasional weird person who tried to hit on him, insisting he was a girl, due his physical attributes. Even as he felt insecure about the size of his boobs most days, right now Lu Guang had cupped one of them and gently rolled them in his palm. Which drew out a pleasant sigh from Cheng Xiaoshi.
He always felt safe with Lu Guang. It was nice. So, so pleasant.
Cheng Xiaoshi let his eyes slowly shut as his body relaxed, Lu Guang’s fingertips dancing across skin. So soft, so gentle. So caring.
He wished he could be held forever, be melted right into his partner. Not let himself detach.
But as all good things must end, so did this. Lu Guang’s hands stopped caressing his every inch, instead resting around his waist. It didn’t feel bad, it’s just that Cheng Xiaoshi selfishly wished for more — to consume Lu Guang, to be consumed.
Lu Guang pressed a few gentle kisses to his neck, before lying down at his partner’s side. He cuddled up to him, head resting in the crook of his shoulder.
He was adorable like this. Cheng Xiaoshi slowly turned his head, nuzzling into white fluff. He let himself breathe in Lu Guang’s scent, let him fill his lungs. Cheng Xiaoshi’s free hand moved up (the other arm being trapped under and behind Lu Guang’s body, encircling him), gently threading his fingers through short strands. He watched Lu Guang’s form through lidded eyes, silently hoping to be even more snug with him.
Lu Guang made a small happy noise, curling up further against Cheng Xiaoshi’s body. His fingers tapped against his side, soon moving to trace nonsensical patterns instead. He was elated with joy once again — turning sideways just to be a little more cushy with Lu Guang. He almost purred from the feeling, his arms wrapping around his back, pulling him close into his chest.
Lu Guang only hummed in response, settling in to trail more kisses along the column of his throat. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t hold himself back as a low moan reverberated from his throat this time, the teeth of his partner grazing his adam’s apple just right. His hands instinctively tightened against Lu Guang’s back, desperately wanting to sink his nails in.
Instead, a head of white perked up, concerned eyes watching Cheng Xiaoshi’s. Fear that he might have hurt him but also a plea of permission.
“I’m okay,” Cheng Xiaoshi quietly told him, cupping Lu Guang’s cheek. He softened into the touch, his eyes relaxing, turning to press a gentle kiss to his palm. It caused Cheng Xiaoshi’s heart to flutter.
Lu Guang nodded, slowly extracting his hand and pressing it down on the pillow next to Cheng Xiaoshi’s head. Now, he was slightly awkwardly trapped under Lu Guang’s posture, who was half-lying down at an angle and half-suspended over Cheng Xiaoshi. A light chuckle resounded in the room, to which Lu Guang smiled to.
Instead of initiating anything, the idiot leaned down to kiss his forehead. Cheng Xiaoshi chuckled a little more, feeling so absolutely content. He gently guided Lu Guang’s head down until they were eye level, staring at each other with an unmistakable mirth. “You can just kiss me if you want, you know?” he murmured, a big wide grin still on his face.
“I am kissing you, though,” Lu Guang retorted. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t hold it in — he actually laughed. Joy radiating off his face, such a beautiful emotion. Lu Guang chuckled along, an unharmonious yet perfect euphony, bringing them ever so closer.
Soon enough, their foreheads were pressed together as they breathed the same air. Quiet. Enjoyable.
Lu Guang pulled away, his free hand cupping Cheng Xiaoshi’s cheek. Their eyes felt like they softened ever so much, staring into each other’s abyss. A small shuddering breath as his thumb stroked his cheekbone, before their lips slotted together.
It was a slow kiss. Languid and lazy, letting themselves take their time. Cheng Xiaoshi couldn’t resist the urge to nip at Lu Guang’s lip, capturing him between his teeth before quickly letting go. Lu Guang only responded with a moan, slightly pressing Cheng Xiaoshi more into the sheets with his upper body.
Cheng Xiaoshi lived for it. He let his hands float over Lu Guang’s hips, moving beneath his sweater to push it up, simultaneously exploring the softness of his skin and the dips of his ribs.
When the cotton was bunched up at Lu Guang’s armpits, he reluctantly sat back on his lap, letting the other pull it overhead. Cheng Xiaoshi let out a victory huff, staring up at Lu Guang with pure affection. His cheeks were flushed red, his pupils a little fuller with love.
It didn’t take long for him to dive back down.
This time, a little more ferocious than before. He was still careful — always around Cheng Xiaoshi, never wanting to hurt him. Always tending to him. But their kissing was still more desperate, their lips messily meeting in-between. Not to mention, Cheng Xiaoshi could feel something hard and insistent poking his thigh. He knew exactly what it was, but vaguely wondered if to bring it up or not.
Still feeling like putty, he only pulled Lu Guang closer to himself, their bare chests pressing together. Slightly slick with sweat, yet neither shied away.
Lu Guang was clearly trying to hold himself back — keyword being trying, as he ground his clothed bulge against Cheng Xiaoshi’s thigh, a forced grunt escaping him at the friction.
He only smiled, playing with the strings of Lu Guang’s pants, a little too close to the hem. Lu Guang looked at him with pleading, dilated eyes, his flush having travelled all the way down to his collarbone.
Cheng Xiaoshi, as much as he wanted to tease him, couldn’t bring himself to deny anything Lu Guang wanted. Especially since he revelled in his attention — needing him more than ever. Wordlessly, he pulled their pants down, trying to shimmy awkwardly out of his own.
Lu Guang sort of watched him for a second, blinking in confusion. Immediately after, he quickly helped Cheng Xiaoshi out of his sweatpants, leaving them both in their underwear. He set the clothing aside, letting it sit.
Now, they were left in their underwear. Despite all of that, Lu Guang still seemed like he had something on his mind, hesitation written on each of his features and actions.
Cheng Xiaoshi helpfully patted him on the shoulder. “Relax bro, it can’t be that awful,” he grinned, proud of his own statement.
It elicited a small giggle from Lu Guang, who kissed his nose and his cheeks. “Can’t help myself when I’ve got handsome stuff in front of me,” he joked back, fingertips trailing down Cheng Xiaoshi’s chest and abdomen.
Another heated moment passed as they revelled in each other.
“…Are you fine? With this?” Lu Guang asked, once more. Verbal permission always seemed to be on his to-do list.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Cheng Xiaoshi grinned at him, hiking his leg up his waist, trying to be some sort of seductive. It probably didn’t work.
“Mmm. Just want to make sure,” he answered, pecking a kiss on his lips once more.
It helped Cheng Xiaoshi himself relax. He was smiling all dopey, unable to properly focus. Maybe it was good that all he could see, touch, breathe, feel, live was Lu Guang. It was therapeutic to him.
He hadn’t even realized when Lu Guang had pulled both their underwear down, now a heavy warmth sitting between his legs. Cheng Xiaoshi gasped at the feeling, feeling a little hungrier.
The same seemed to be the case for Lu Guang. He moved to nip at Cheng Xiaoshi’s jaw, peppering it with kisses and love.
Cheng Xiaoshi finally let his nails sink into his partner’s back once he felt a finger inside him, stretching him open. Lu Guang hummed, his other hand working on pumping his clit, coaxing it to hardness. It was difficult to hold his whimpers back, Lu Guang’s touch a little too expert.
He didn’t know when a second finger entered him, scissoring him open. A louder noise ripped from his throat, echoing against the walls of their bedroom. Lu Guang kept working diligently, thumb pressing against his nub. Cheng Xiaoshi’s barely contained moans and thrashing from pleasure didn’t help.
“Your cock is so cute,” Lu Guang comments, circling it once, and Cheng Xiaoshi unabashedly squeals in turn.
Fortunately for him, Lu Guang shut him up with another kiss, swallowing his moans down. He pulls his digits out, letting Cheng Xiaoshi calm down for a little.
Once they part, the air feels way more intense. Lu Guang licks his fingers off a little too eagerly, tasting the slick. Cheng Xiaoshi’s face feels scorching hot and his heart skips a beat in response. How was he so unintentional with his actions but had such a drastic effect on him?
Lu Guang hums as he lets his fingers drift down again, rubbing into Cheng Xiaoshi’s hip. It makes him feel weak, tugging his partner closer.
Lu Guang complies, covering him in kisses once again. He slowly shifts, letting the head of his dick eventually press against Cheng Xiaoshi’s entrance.
With no complaints or protests, he pushed forward, sheathing himself deep inside him.
Cheng Xiaoshi softened into the mattress, letting the feeling of being full consume him.
Lu Guang stilled, letting Cheng Xiaoshi adjust. Then, he slowly started pulling out (to thrust back in), but Cheng Xiaoshi let out a whine of protest.
“Lu Guang…” he cried.
Lu Guang was on full alert. He immediately stopped, rubbing soothing circles into his skin. “Does it hurt?”
Cheng Xiaoshi swallowed, looking to the side for a second. Lu Guang was about to fully pull out, when —
“Stay… inside, please? It doesn’t — doesn’t hurt,” he begged. Lu Guang was dumbfounded, but did exactly as Cheng Xiaoshi requested. Pushing back in, he plugged him up again, this time not moving or thrusting.
They stayed like that, breaths a little heavier than usual. Lu Guang carded through Cheng Xiaoshi’s hair, who in turn rubbed his back. It was nice to be like this — if you could ignore the minute twitching, designed to make either of them go crazy.
Their eyes fluttered shut in each other’s company, the heat almost deadly. Lazy kisses were exchanged, from the corners of their lips to their necks. Lu Guang couldn’t help himself with a few rolls of his hips, causing Cheng Xiaoshi to suck in a breath without fail. The sound was a little too attractive for his ears.
They lived in this warm, electrifying state of stasis for what felt like an eternity, wholly consumed in each other. Occasionally broken with a grunt or a gasp, an inability to hold their instincts back.
However, their union was more important to them. Their state to be next to each other, breathing in the other’s natural scent, naked bodies pressed together. Cheng Xiaoshi was sure he could die happy in his arms, being gently kissed and rocked into.
He suddenly felt Lu Guang throb inside him. It caused his own walls to contract, his head thrown back into the pillow. Lu Guang hissed as he pulled himself out — to Cheng Xiaoshi’s dismay.
He tilted his head up, looking at Lu Guang like a questioning puppy.
“…Didn’t want to finish in you,” came the explanation. His voice was hoarse. On the edge.
Personally, Cheng Xiaoshi wouldn’t mind. Realistically, he remembers he still has a uterus, which makes him frown and close in on himself. It’s stupid, a reality check of a thought spoiling his mood.
“…” Lu Guang remained quiet, observing his partner. He crawled next to him, caressing his shoulder, moving up to his face. “Did you want me to?”
Cheng Xiaoshi stared back at him, unsure how to reply. It would be stupid to mention his dysphoria now, and it would be stupid to lie that he’s still doing just as fine as before, despite his heartbeat spiking in anxiety.
“It’s fine — I get why you wouldn’t,” he vaguely supplied. Lu Guang doesn’t frown, but his face is clearly full of thoughts, trying to decipher what’s going on in Cheng Xiaoshi’s brain.
Cheng Xiaoshi tries to keep his composure, despite his heart hurting internally. He could only wish to have the same anatomy as Lu Guang. As turned on as he had been before, it felt like that energy seeped through the bedframe and left a puddle of dark thoughts underneath.
Lu Guang pulled him close to his chest, seemingly sending his internal shift. “…Do you still want me to help you out?” he asked, pressing a kiss to his cheek.
Cheng Xiaoshi wasn’t sure how to decide. He still decided to nod, curling against Lu Guang’s warmth.
Lu Guang hummed, his fingers slowly training down his stomach until they reached his vulva. He let his digits slide inside again, slowly pumping in and out, curling them in. He hoped this would be enough for Cheng Xiaoshi; they both knew he preferred his dick, despite Lu Guang’s reservations.
Cheng Xiaoshi seemed to somewhat relax his tense posture, head tucked against Lu Guang’s chest. His other hand rubbed his back and he kissed the scalp of his black hair tenderly.
He sighed, letting himself be taken care of. With Lu Guang’s careful but calculated touch, it didn’t take too long until he had to bite down on his shoulder as he spasmed around his fingers, his fluid coating them.
In the next moments, everything was hazy for Cheng Xiaoshi, and he was still tucked against his partner. It’s presumably then that the other cleaned up and took care of himself, but Cheng Xiaoshi felt too tired to pay attention.
When Lu Guang pulled the blanket to their shoulders, his eyes blinked open, the room feeling bleary. The faint desk lamp hadn’t been shut off yet, but neither made the move to get up. They simply stared at each other, maybe a little too intensely.
“Rest now, it’s best for you,” Lu Guang murmured against his ear.
Cheng Xiaoshi wanted to digress, but Lu Guang wasn’t going to let him. So, he snuggled up against him, his arms wrapping around his waist and pressing them tightly together. Lu Guang let out a low purr, hands stroking up and down Cheng Xiaoshi’s spine.
It was a little too exhausting for both of them. And it felt too comfortable. They fell into a peaceful silence, their breathing the only sound in the room.
Their descent into slumber came naturally, at least for Cheng Xiaoshi. Lu Guang held him for a long while, taking care of him in sleep. He watched him, pondering a bit to himself.
“Cheng Xiaoshi… you don’t know the lengths I would go for you, huh?” he mused out loud in a whispered tone. His fingers traced the nips on his neck and the bruising caused by his binder, due to wearing it out too long. A kiss to the forehead, a prayer for Cheng Xiaoshi, and tonight he should join him in dreams.