Chapter Text

Jesper must have stared at the post for hours.

He wasn't obsessed.

He was simply observing each feature of the man on the screen.

It was a photo of Wylan from his concert last week, clutching a microphone in his right hand, raised into the air. He was wearing a low button-down shirt that was slightly see-through (not like Jesper was looking) with a thick black jacket and pants.

His normal curly hair was slicked back, a few strands sticking out from the sweat. Smoke and purple lights only made his figure even more ethereal.

But despite all of this, it was as if he was looking at a stranger. Five years would do that to a person, and Jesper could see remnants of the Wylan he knew under all that makeup. But with every post, every news clipping, article, and interview, his Wylan slowly faded into the shadows and this imposter took his place.

And It made Jesper furious.

His eyes flickered down to the caption of the post.

WylanVanEckOfficial:   I hope everyone has been enjoying a blessed Nachtspel! As we wrap up the week's festivities tonight, don’t forget that tomorrow marks the first performance in my I’m Alive tour in Kerch! I’ll be taking the stage at the prestigious Wolfe Musical Hall in Belendt for three nights! Tickets are still available, so be sure to secure yours before they sell out. I can’t wait to see you all there!

Jesper scoffed, wondering what intern or social media manager wrote that caption. It didn’t read as Wylan, but what would any of his fans know? All they knew was that Wylan Van Eck was a rising star and fast-tracked to win an award. They swooned over everything he "wrote."

But Jesper knew the truth,

Five years ago, Wylan Van Eck got signed.

Five years ago, he cut off all contact with the rest of his old bandmates.

And one year ago, he started his world tour. All without a single thanks or mention of his past life.

Finally, after staring at the photo for an unhealthy amount of time, a notification pinged his phone, pulling his attention.

Kazzle Dazzle
 Change of plans. We are going to a different restaurant. The other one is closed due to a break -in this morning. It's a bit further but will work out better. 313 Oakwood Avenue

Jesper

👍 omw then

The new restaurant was in Belendt, about a four-hour drive from Ketterdam, but everyone agreed meeting in the second oldest town in Kerch would be better for scheduling. Luckily for Jesper, he was only an hour away from a commercial opportunity staying in a paid hotel by the company. It wasn’t state of the line, but better than his shitty apartment back in Ketterdam.

By the time Jesper had arrived, it was 6:15 pm,  fifteen minutes later than everyone had planned, but he was getting better at managing his time.  The restaurant they agreed to meet at was called De Saffieren Lepel, and as he stepped inside, Jesper gawked at the sight. How did Kaz even afford this? Could Jesper even afford to pay for his meal? The walls were covered in blue glass. The roof creating a canopy style made with the same stained glass. Leaf and vine designs swirled around him, all mixed with greens and blues.

“Good evening sir, How can I help you?” The host asked.

“Jesper!”  A familiar voice rang out from across the restaurant, catching his attention before he could respond.

“Oh, I’m with them.” Jesper glanced over to the host who nodded, gesturing Jesper to go.

He quickly walked past her, making his way over to the table of four with some drinks in front of them already. “Starting the party without me?” He grinned.

“We got you your drinks.” Matthias chimed in, standing up with the others to give a quick hug to Jesper.  “It’s been too long.”

“It has!”

Inej came up next, a grin extending ear to ear as the two embraced tightly. “I’m sorry I couldn't come for the last two months. I missed seeing everyone.”

“Are you kidding? You are traveling the world! No need to apologize." Jesper replied, pulling Inej in another hug before everyone took their seats again. “What, no warm embrace?” He teased, looking over in Kaz’s direction.

“I saw you a week ago.”

Jesper shrugged. “And? A week is too long.”

Kaz merely rolled his eyes as Jesper settled into his seat and took his coat off.

Soon, their menus were brought out, but before anyone could even discuss meal ideas Kaz cut through.

“Order what you want. I will handle the price.”

“Are you sure? It may be almost a hundred dollars in total. I don’t mind paying for my meal.” Inej offered.

“Then don’t order something expensive. I will handle it.”

Jesper couldn’t say no to that. He requested Lendebiefstuk, Inej opted for Stamppot, Nina, and Matthias shared a Hollandse Rijsttafel, while Kaz got Suddervlees.

“So. What have you been up to these past few months?”  Inej was the first to ask, lifting a piece of her meal to her lips.

Jesper shrugged, diving into his steak. "Same old same old. Paying dues.” He said between bites. “Being an extra in commercials, paying off my debt. Oh! I'm doing a shoot for a hat company in a week. So soon you guys will be graced by my stunning face in advertisements.”

“And they still hired you after seeing your face?” Nina chuckled.

Jesper playfully flicked his straw at Nina. “And what about you? When are you going to grace the world with your beauty?”

“I’m a star in my own world. Almost perfect patient satisfaction. Besides, wearing a mask for my shift helps people focus on my eyes.”

“Let me guess. 3.2? You better step it up Zenik or they'll dock your pay.”

Nina let a dramatic gasp out.

“Enough flirting you two,” Inej said with a smile. “Can’t you see Matthias is jealous?”

“Aww.” Nina cooed, leaning closer to Matthias as she batted her eyes. “Don’t worry I'll make sure to include you too next time.”

“I will pass.”  Matthias chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. “What about you Kaz? How have you been?”

“I've been busy,” The man replied, not lifting his gaze from his plate.

“You always tell me that!" Jesper whined. “I did not drive an hour just for you to say I’m busy again!”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “I've been renovating that old club.”

“Really?” Inej asked, her voice surprised.

Kaz nodded. “It's been a slow process. But hopefully, within six months I should have it up and running.”

"I remember that club. Last time we saw it, it was in ruins.” Matthias frowned.

“It has a roof and walls. Enough for me, I paid someone to check for mold and rot, and besides one wall that needs to be torn down, it's in good standing.”

“So, do I get some discount on cards or drinks for being an amazing friend?”

Kaz looked over to Jesper. “No.”

“Worth a shot. Can I work there? You know I need the money.”

“Maybe.” He took a sip of his drink to hide a sly smile creeping onto his face.

The night went on like that. Each member talking about more of what their life has entailed. Laughing at jokes, and old memories. 90 minutes passed in a blur and before they knew it, it was almost eight.

“That cheesecake filled me up. I think I will be full for days.” Jesper groaned, leaning back on his chair.

“Are you sure we don’t need to pay anything, Kaz?”

“You can pay me back in favors.”

“Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I hate driving in the dark, and I need to get ready for tomorrow.” The shoot only paid 254 kruge for the day, but it was better than nothing. The hours weren’t bad as well. 9 am-4 pm. Jesper drummed the table with his hands, stood up, and grabbed his coat. “Until next month?”

“Maybe we can see each other again this month?” Inej smiled hopefully as the others began to stand up from the table.

“Oh?”

“I’m staying in Ketterdam for a few weeks. I love the sea, but I have some personal things I have to deal with before traveling again.”

“That’s great ‘nej!” Jesper missed seeing everyone. Once a month wasn’t enough. And it hurt. Everyone else was moving on with their lives.  Nina was studying to be a nurse, and Matthias was studying to be a Wolf biologist. (A job Jesper had never heard of before.) Inej was sailing the world, and even Kaz was building up a whole business. 

And What was Jesper doing? Commercials and fashion shoots that came once or twice a month. Hung up on a dream from the past, too afraid to let it go and wasting his years just going through the days.

They walked together towards the exit, stepping out from the warmth of the restaurant into the chill evening air. The sound of the bustling city outside greeted the group. Distant chatter, cars whizzing by, and the clatter of glasses from those sitting outside. A faint noise began to rise in volume and drew Jesper’s attention, he frowned, looking over to the side of the restaurant as a crowd started to form. Multiple people were giggling and screaming as flashes from phones lit up the street. “What’s going on there?”

“Some celebrity." Nina shrugged, peering over the crowd of fans to try to get a better look. “Looks cute.”

Jesper did the same, but the crowd was growing larger by the second. Saints. Who was this? “Want me to get an autograph?”

Nina grinned. “You know I do.”

“I’ll be right back.” Jesper slowly started to push through the crowd, mostly consisting of teenagers who should not be here at this hour alone, but other fans seemed to be more around his age. Phones shot into the air to get a blurred video of a stranger who would never know their names.

Finally, after some pushing and multiple apologies, Jesper made it through the hoard. Still, he could only see the back of the man who was now crouched down in front of a kid who couldn’t have been more than eight or nine. The kid was wearing a puffy green jacket, two sizes too big for him, and was holding some type of paper which he handed over to the celebrity. If Jesper had to guess, possibly a drawing. A string of awes echoed around him like a hymn in a cathedral, too eerie for Jesper’s taste.

Yep. There was no way Nina would be getting that autograph.

The celebrity proudly took it before the kid gave him a quick hug.  Once he let go, the man stood up and turned around, and Jesper finally saw his doe-eyed face.

Even in the dark, Jesper could make out his blue eyes, mop of hair now touching his shoulders, and freckled face.

"Wylan?"

Wylan took a few moments to look in Jesper's direction, almost as if he wasn’t sure the voice he was hearing was true. But when their eyes locked, Wylan froze.

It was like time had stopped, and they were 19 and 20 again. New breakouts into this world, wanting desperately to be seen and heard. Jesper and Kaz started the band a year after graduation and soon added Inej, then Nina, Matthias, and finally Wylan Hendriks. Kaz had been the one to bring him in after hearing him play on the streets. Jesper didn't ask that many questions, but it was obvious Wylan was struggling, and was living on those same streets he played on.

The Crows were a band for the unwanted, unseen, and unheard.  Why wouldn't they deny entry to him? Besides, Wylan was a triple threat. Flute, piano, and voice.

For the next two years, the band was growing in steady popularity. Venues housing only 50 people turned into 100. And then almost 1,000. With one album out and songs already on the radio, ranking in charts, a tour was prominent.

Yet it never happened.

And Jesper carried that resentment for the next five years, waiting for what he would say to Wylan Hendriks, or he should say Wylan Van Eck.

A nepo baby with real talent, fame earned or bought, it didn’t matter. He had left the others to rot.

But seeing Wylan in person was different than seeing him online, or in any interviews that Jesper just so happened to stumble upon.  He looked different. More tired. Dark eyebags clung to his pale skin. The false smile that clung to his face vanished, and the thin layers between personas shattered.

Years of rage vanished in a moment. Resentment lingered in his chest, but Jesper was older. Not as impulsive. Wylan was here, standing in front of him. Mere feet away. Their last conversation now a memory of a ghost on their lips.

He took a step forward. But before he could speak, another man bumped into  Jesper, storming right at Wylan. The man was sharply dressed. His short brown hair was neatly combed. He wore a tan jacket that fit him perfectly paired with a crisp shirt underneath and tailored pants that fit him perfectly, hinting at a polished professional style. A manager?

Wylan's eyes flickered over, his body stiffened as the man grabbed Wylan’s arm, leaning close. "You're already late." Were all the words Jesper could hear before he was pulled off. Wylan spared a glance back at Jesper. Desperation that Jesper had never seen on him before turning around again.

Then Wylan was gone, vanishing like a ghost into the crowd once more who soon dispersed.

"Was that?" Matthias walked up next to Jesper.

It was.

"Wylan was here?" Nina scoffed. "And to think I wanted an autograph. What are the chances we'd run into him."

"His tour is starting in Kerch," Inej muttered. "Probably just landed and wanted something to eat. The airport is only twenty minutes from here."

"He starts tomorrow! I thought I had time to steer clear of everything he sings and plaster an interested smile in case I'm asked if I listen to his music.”

Jesper looked over to Kaz, who seemed to be the only one silent and unphased.  “Wait. You said there was a break-in at the old restaurant we agreed to meet at…Did you plan all of this?”

Everyone’s eyes turned to the man.

"Did I know that out of anywhere in Belendt, Wylan would show up at seven to eat dinner here, stay here for about an hour, and for information to be leaked causing a horde of fans to slow him down?" Kaz shrugged. "I have no idea."

Jesper narrowed his eyes, Kaz still didn’t answer his question about the past restaurant. “And what was your goal in that?”

“I have my reasons.”

“Reasons to remind us that Wylan isn’t different from any other rich asshole? Congrats you accomplished your plan.” Nina scoffed.

“I can’t believe it's been five years.” Inej frowned.  “It doesn’t seem that long ago at all.”

“Thinking about it, I would not want to be swarmed by fans everywhere I go. I am thankful for that. We don’t get stalked.” Matthias chimed in.

Nina crossed her arms, annoyance never leaving. “Cheers to Wylan then. For scamming us out of fan harassment and stalking. The only good thing he may have done.”

Jesper should have agreed, yet he couldn't get Wylan's face out of his mind.

Four hours later,  Jesper sat slumped on the edge of his creaky hotel bed. The buzz of the AC filled the silent room. Outside, distant traffic buzzed past him. The room smelled of stale coffee and disinfectant, probably from someone coming to clean while he was away. The carpet below him was worn down, faint stains noticeable if you stared hard enough.  

The only light in the darkroom was that of the blue light from his phone. He must have been staring at it ever since he got back.

My Treasure. 💕

The unchanged name in the messages stung. But what really surprised him was that he wasn't blocked. By this time, Wylan had stopped answering his calls or texts, but it didn’t stop his rants.

Jesper began to scroll through the week's worth of one-sided arguments, buried memories coming to the surface once again.

What the fuck??

Wylan Van Eck. Saints I should have known.

I guess I was just a fun fuck to mess with huh? Ran back to daddy when the time was right?

Didn’t bother to tell us you got signed?? We had to hear it in an article???

And now what, we’re not as famous as you anymore? Not bothering to call us?

Fuck you. Don't call me ever again then.

Have fun with fame.

You deserve it.

Jesper took a breath,  this was a dumb decision. He should act like the others. Curse Wylan out again and turn away, blocking him from his mind and phone. He should block him and move on.

Block him and move on.

Block him.

He couldn’t.

Jesper took another breath, and typed the first message to Wylan, in over five years.

 Hey. This is Jesper. Down to talk?

 Jesper stared at the message for a few moments before hitting send.

He set his phone down on his pillow, running a hand over his face. Regret immediately rushed through his nervous system, sparks of panic jolting in each direction. Saints, why did he message Wylan out of the blue after five years? The last message was when Jesper was drunk, pissed off at Wylan, and never wanted to see him again.  The man was probably busy. He probably didn't even want to talk. It would take days until he saw his message and by then Jesper would be bubbling with anxiety until he couldn’t even think and—

*ding*

His heart nearly jumped out of his chest. Jesper lunged for his phone, nearly dropping it in the process as he unlocked it, clicking into the notification frantically.

My Treasure.💕
 251 Willow Lane Tomorrow at 1:30 pm Just make it quick.

You have that commercial tomorrow. You need that money. A thought of reason and rationality echoed somewhere deep within Jesper. But that didn’t matter anymore. Any rational thought had been drowned out by a new emotion and feeling that had been pocketed for five years. Lingering every time Jesper paused on Wylan’s photos. And now it is becoming a reality.

He was going to see Wylan again.

What was he even going to wear?!

Chapter Text

What was he doing?

There were two reasons for that question.

What was Jesper doing here was one, and looking at Wylan, who was dressed like he was some spy was the other. They were both on the sidewalk outside a row of chain stores. Flower shops, coffee shops, and bookstores filled the street. It reminded Jesper of Ketterdam with every building squashed together anywhere they could fit.

Wylan wore a brown, ball cap, rose-tinted glasses and dressed in a buttoned-up green shirt, followed by another brownish jacket and pants. Wylan nervously bit his nail as he scanned his surroundings. If anything, the man looked like someone on the verge of committing a crime, anxious to avoid detection rather than catching up with an old acquaintance.

Wylan hadn’t noticed Jesper yet, and he fought the urge to lean against a wall and just watch Wylan for hours. 

What was he doing here? 

Jesper wasn’t even sure he could answer that himself. Last night felt like a blur, and as morning came, clarity struck him. He had messaged Wylan asking to meet up just by seeing him outside a restaurant. And to his shock, Wylan responded in less than five minutes. 

There was no going back now, was there?

Jesper exhaled, pushing himself off the building, and made his way to the fidgeting Wylan. “Now that's a sight.”

Wylan jumped, spinning around with wide eyes like he was expecting someone else. “You actually came.” Relief washed over his voice once he realized who it was.

“Why wouldn't I?” Jesper replied with a smirk, gaze sweeping over Wylan once again. Green looked good on him. No. Stop it. He shouldn’t be thinking that. “What’s with the gimmick? You stick out like a sore thumb.”

“Any paparazzi can't tell it’s me under all this,” Wylan muttered, lowering his hand. “And I don’t want you ending up in some tabloid tomorrow.”

“Wylan Van Eck meets a random yet handsomely roguish stranger on the side of the road.” Jesper teased. “Now that's a headline.”

Wylan, however, didn’t share the same sense of humor. “You said you wanted to talk?”

Jespers smile dropped. “Right…How was your flight here? Did you land yesterday?”

Wylan nodded. “Yeah, I uh, I stayed in Ketterdam for Natchspel visiting my father, step-mother, and step-sibling.”

“Guess you enjoyed your week-long break?”

“I mean, it was a break from my shows but not from my work.” Wylan shrugged. “ A part of me missed the shows, though. I could get out at least.”

“Yeah, the spotlight will do that, I bet,” Jesper smirked. Instead of the chuckle he expected from Wylan, the man frowned. Well, this was going in a great direction already. “Speaking of…breaks…What about that drawing?” He asked, hoping to steer this conversation into a lighter topic.

“What drawing?”

“The drawing the kid gave you last night? “

“Oh.” Wylan looked down. “I’m not allowed to accept fan gifts.”

Jesper wasn’t sure if he heard that correctly. “What do you mean you're not allowed? I saw you take it. I get not keeping all of them, but what, do they throw out everything given to you?”

Wylan fell silent, and Jesper got his answer. “What the fuck, Wylan?”

He hunched his shoulders, trying to shrink down. “It's not as bad as you're making it out to be. I mean— I can still collect gifts that my management team approves, and I collect most gifts given to me, they just…determine if I can keep them or not.”

“Do you seriously hear yourself?” Jesper scoffed. “They can't tell you what you can or can’t keep. That's bullshit.”

Wylan winced at Jesper's words, shrinking down even more. “I have sponsors who pay a lot of money to discuss their products. I can’t just wear or show off fan gifts constantly. I would be swarmed. Everything I’m wearing now, and last night, was a sponsorship.”

“Like you need more money. How much are they even paying you? 1000 kruge per item? 2,000 per word of praise?”

“I’m not allowed to talk about my financial situation.”

Jesper laughed. “Of course you're not allowed.” What was he even expecting walking into this? “Saints. What a way to start talking after five years. The same topic from our last conversation.”

Wylan was now the one to scoff. “I’m not the one who sent a message out of nowhere.”

“And yet you replied. Did that new sponsorship phone unblock me?”

Jesper could tell he was pushing Wylan's buttons. Getting under his skin and nudging him closer to his breaking point with each passing moment.

“I never blocked you. You didn't block me either. Did you want to talk just to curse me out in person? Blame me for the band breaking up and only me getting signed? Because I never asked for it.”

Jesper snorted. “That's rich coming from you. No surprise there.”

Wylan stared at Jesper for a moment, but instead of snapping back, he simply shook his head. “This was a mistake coming here.” He turned to walk away.

Wait. He didn't want Wylan to leave! Jesper impulsiveness bit him in the ass again, and now Wylan was walking away.

Say something.

STOP HIM.

SAY SOMETHING

“Wait—” Jesper called out, stepping forward. His hand outstretched to Wylan’s, but stopped before he could grab it.  “I'm sorry. I didn't mean—I do want to talk. Please.”

Wylan paused, looking back at Jesper as he lowered his hand. 

He had another chance then.

“You look good,” Jesper said hopefully.

“Thanks,” Wylan said softly, a smile returning. “So do you.”

The two shifted uncomfortably for a few moments before Jesper spoke again. “I didn't expect to see you last night.”

“Neither did I.” Wylan chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “What were you doing in Beldent?”

“Oh, just personal stuff.” Jesper shrugged. “ I was meeting up with the others; Kaz, Nina, Matthias, Inej...”

Wylan’s eyes flickered for a brief second, but he quickly masked it with indifference. “Oh.”

Right. Jesper cringed. Talk of the group wasn’t exactly an eager topic to talk about with Wylan. “...We try to meet up once a month. Normally, it's in Ketterdam, but plans had to change.”

“I see.” Wylan nodded, looking down for a few moments. “And it's not a coincidence that you happened to come to the restaurant I was eating at?”

“About that...I think Kaz may have stalked you and figured out what restaurant you'd be at... and robbed a store to change the location?”

The same grin that fell short last night made an appearance again. Brightening his already pale skin already. “Sounds like Kaz. Let me guess. He paid for your meals? Said to buy whatever?”

“Wow, Kaz really hasn't changed.”

Wylan started to chuckle at that, which then turned into a laugh, and oh—

Jesper wanted to get drunk off of it, to drown in that laugh, to be bathed in that rich laugh constantly. How he wished he could hear it every day, just like he used to. Jesper remembered how easy it had been to make Wylan laugh or to get him flustered. Now, it felt like a fleeting moment that would pass any second. Jesper couldn’t admit how much he missed it—missed him.

He was broken away from the fantasy as Wylan’s laugh turned into a cough. He barely noticed at first. But then it came again, harder this time, more like a struggle. One cough, followed by another, and another.

“You okay?”

Wylan nodded, but the movement seemed forced. “Jus—just a cough.” He said between strained breaths. This time, though, they were more violent as he staggered to the side, almost as if he had lost his balance.

Jesper quickly moved to grab him in case he fell, but the moment his skin touched Wylan's clothed arm. Wylan jerked away violently, clutching his arm to his chest as if he had been burned.

Jesper was taken by surprise by the movement, pulling back instinctively as well.

The air between them went heavy with silence, broken only by the faint wheezing gasps from Wylan, who was slowly getting his breath under control after that coughing fit. His eyes, wide and panicked behind those rose-tinted glasses.

“I’m—I’m fine.”

Jesper’s lips pressed into a thin line, brows furrowing. “Never said you weren’t.” Wylan was always skittish, but...never like this. Something was off.

A black car suddenly pulled up in front of them as Wylan's demeanor shifted. It was a subtle change, but Jesper could see every detail. His terrified face softened into a blank expression. His mouth, open for air, closed as his back straightened up just like it did last night. Just like he was masking his fears from someone.

“I need to go.”

“You weren't lying when you said make it quick. It hasn't even been ten minutes.” Jesper’s words were sharper than he meant them to be, but everything was happening so fast. He wanted to ask more questions, wanted to make sure Wylan was truly okay, but he didn’t want to ruin the already fragile relationship they were building up again.

The black car’s engine hummed softly, waiting.

“I have rehearsal and a show in six hours. This meeting was last minute, and I’m already behind on my schedule.”

Jesper didn’t miss the way Wylan’s hand was still trembling. “Don’t forget to hydrate, then. For that cough.”

“I’ll remember.” He said, still breathless, before turning away. But just as he reached the handlebars of the car, Wylan stopped and turned around slowly, almost as if he was committing to something he wasn’t fully prepared for. “Are you staying here for another day?”

Jesper shook his head. “I'm actually on my way back to Ketterdam now. But it was good seeing you.”

Wylan paused, face growing slack as it tilted ever so slightly to the side as if he could hear a distant melody, before jerking up a second later. “Call my manager and ask for tickets.”

“What?” Jesper wasn’t sure if he heard Wylan right.

Wylan looked away again, not looking at Jesper as if he was afraid of his answer. “For the show. You can come. I—” He cut himself off, words hanging in the air.

Jesper blinked, a sharp breath catching his throat. How he wished he could see Wylan’s eyes. There was something in his tone that seemed more guarded. Almost as if he was already expecting an answer, and just waiting for Jesper to confirm it.

“You actually want me there?”

Wylan’s shoulders tensed. Guess that wasn’t the answer he expected. “Damien Alblas…he’s my manager. I’ll send you his number, he'll know who you are. He can put five tickets aside whenever you're free. I’m performing in Ketterdam in the last week of this month, but we can pick you up for other locations if you want.”

Five tickets.

“Wait, you want all of us to see your show?”

Wylan smiled weakly. “I mean, like you said, it's been less than ten minutes. It may be good to catch up with everyone...if they even want to see me.”

Jesper’s eyes flickered with uncertainty. It couldn’t have been this easy. Wylan left them in the dirt for years. And now from one text to meet up again, he’s giving out free tickets?

“That could work…I'll let them know.” Jesper hummed, trying to keep his tone light. This would be a whole new story. What was he even going to tell them? Hey, just met up with my ex, who ruined our lives, turns out he is still entitled but also still as kind as he was before and wants to give us free tickets to one of his shows! Who wants to come?

He swallowed the bitterness of that thought. It wasn’t fair to frame it like that—not anymore. Not when he wasn’t sure if it had ever been the full truth. Wylan was standing in front of him, however complicated, he still had a piece of his heart that never went away.

Jesper let out a small breath. “They don't hate you, Wy.”

“You don't need to lie for their sake.” Wylan gave Jesper a false smile. It was all he said before opening the car door and stepping inside, closing it behind him.

Jesper could only watch his reflection in the window as the car began to drive off. Jesper followed the car with his eyes, watching it for as long as he could until it turned a corner and was gone.

What the hell just happened?

He texted Wylan just over twelve hours ago, met up with him after five years, and instead of gaining closure and moving on, Wylan opened Pandora's box of all those mixed emotions Jesper held onto, letting it loose to never be contained again. 

And Jesper let it happen. No, maybe he always wanted it to happen. 

Finally, after a few minutes of just staring at the empty road, Jesper pulled out his phone again, checking the time. It was only 1:45pm, maybe he could still make it to the commercial.

But, just as that thought crossed his mind, a notification dinged from his phone. 

Hello Jesper Fahey, this is Star Productions. We wanted to inform you of a charge of 107 kruge on the hotel room due to failure to show up to the scheduled commercial, or to notify us of any lateness. Please let us know if you have any questions or concerns, or if this message was a mistake. Thank you and have a nice day.

Guess he spoke too soon.

Chapter Text

"Well, this place is a shithole," Jesper muttered under his breath. He looked around the unfinished walls of the building. Green wallpaper with golden swirls peeled off, revealing the stained stonework and foundations. Edges chipped, worn from years of weathering. Cobwebs and dust clung stubbornly to the corners of the room. The light from the windows making the dust-filled space even more noticeable. The entire room had a layer of grime, from tables, chairs, and even the old brass lanterns that hung crookedly on the walls.

Gambling tables lined the floor as a grand piano sat in the corner. Already polished and cleaned like the war of time hadn’t touched it. Faint memories of Wylan pouring his soul out as he played on the piano, keys banging and sweat dripping down from his hair, each note a battle against the weight of his own heart. 

Jesper shook the mental image from his mind as he took another sweep of the floor.

Damaged tiles, crumbling walls, and corroded wooden fixtures. This place could collapse on itself any minute. It's no surprise that Kaz decided to purchase it.

"Yet you’re here," Kaz grumbled, setting down a box of broken glasses, bottles, and other debris on a hopefully salvageable table. He was wearing a respirator mask that suddenly made Jesper more aware of everything he could be inhaling. 

"Well, I was bored. " And Kaz offered to pay 100 kruge for the day. It was better than nothing, and Jesper needed that money more than anything, especially after he missed the commercial yesterday. 

"My point stands, " Kaz replied, handing Jesper an extra respirator mask. “Been using that for the past few weeks. Saints knows what is in this air, and I refuse to catch a plague from the 1800s.”

"What can I help with? Something that probably won't involve me inhaling more lead." Jesper asked as he placed the mask around his head before tightening the straps.

Kaz hummed, looking around the room. “Go through everything in storage? There's an office space I like in the back, but it's filled to the brim with furniture. Even if it's broken, don’t throw it out. Put it in the wine cellar for now.”

“Right…a basement.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “It's surprisingly in good shape. I just need a clean space to work with. Besides, reusing the furniture will save more than the cost.”

“You’re really serious about this place?”

“Of course I am. No one else wanted it, and I’ve been looking into opening a club for a few years. I have Nina working on the walls, but if you need help, just ask her.”

"Nina's here?"

He nodded. “Guess our reunion is lasting longer this month. Now, if you need anything else, just come find me, but I'd rather you don’t.” Kaz said as he grabbed a hammer and the can filled with nails before walking off.

- 

The office was much bigger than Jesper assumed. He had already cleared out a good dent, at least now he had a path through it. The walls had wooden paneling at the bottom, followed by the same green and golden swirls the rest of the club had. At the end of the room, next to a large open window, there was a big wooden desk, yet it was hard to see the surface. Papers, books, stamps, ink pens, and even other pieces of furniture like tools and chairs were stacked over, spinning across the edges like a crumbling tower. Guess he had his work cut out for him.

He sighed, setting down some wooden planks outside as he looked over to his left, seeing Nina walking into the room with cans of paint in each hand.

"Well, hey there, pretty lady."

Nina looked over to Jesper and grinned under her mask. "Back to you, handsome gentleman. I didn’t know you were here." She replied, walking over to Jesper, setting the buckets down.

“Guess Kaz hated you that much he invited me too.” He teased as Nina raised her middle finger in return. "So you're staying here as well? Jesper asked as he placed the stool outside the room. “Also, mind helping me clear off the desk a bit?”

"Course," She smiled, following Jesper inside the office. "And the plane got canceled due to a snowstorm in Ravka. It's pretty bad and they say it'll move down to Kerch with just awful rain, so its better to just stay here for the week." Nina replied, grabbing a few books and papers.

"Well, that's not good. Is Matthias here as well?" Jesper asked, grabbing some of the chairs that had been stacked over the desk carefully and moved them near the entrance of the office. He would move the chairs down once everything was off the desk. It will save him multiple trips.

She nodded, the two repeating the actions back and forth. "Nope. He ate something that didn’t agree with him." Nina chuckled. "Poor love woke up with a massive stomachache and was nauseous all morning ."

“Ouch, hope he feels better.” He winced, setting another chair down outside and stretching his legs. They repeated the process again and again until it had been an hour, and Jesper’s back started to hurt from all the bending and grabbing.

“Well, I need some fresh air and a break, what about you?”

“Definitely.” Nina stretched her arms. “I’ll order food as well. Anything in particular?”

“A sandwich, I guess?” Jesper shrugged as the two moved to walk out of the building. He unclipped his mask and let a sigh out. Who knew fresh air could smell this good? The grey sky above, mixed with the hint of mist, only meant that there was another storm on its way.

"Holy shit.” Nina’s voice next to him broke Jesper out of his thoughts.

"What happened?" Jesper stopped and turned around to see  Nina staring at her phone.

She hesitated for a moment, looking over to Jesper before she handed him her phone.

KERCH LOCAL NEWS

SINGER WYLAN VAN ECK RUSHED TO HOSTIAL AFTER LATEST PREFORMCE

Wait what?

Rumors spread after Wylan Van Eck’s' show last night as fans took their presence online to express their worry for the singer. During his first performance in Belendt , some claimed he looked pale and unsteady on his feet. Some in the pit claimed that as Wylan left the stage, it looked like he fell and a couple of staff members helped him to the wings. He did not return for an encore. Wylan’s management team has denied any rumors that he passed out, attributing the incident to Wylan saying he was having "chest pains and anxiety" before the show, and a technical malfunction in the end.

In a statement released by his manager, Damien states; "Stress can get high, especially in this time of the tour. Wylan will undergo a routine check-up to ease concerns, but is expected to continue the tour."

This wouldn't be the first time an incident like this has occurred as four months ago in Novyi Zem, the singer was seen entering an ambulance after a show and has had multiple shows canceled and refunded due to claims of being sick. Wylan has discussed the need for awareness of mental health multiple times in the past before.

As for now, stay updated by following @KLN (Kerch Local News) for more information in the coming hours.

"Oh fuck," Jesper stared at the article in horror. A deep, unsettling feeling crept inside him. Something wasn’t right. “Is he okay?” 

"I don't know." Nina frowned. "I'm still mad at him, but I would never wish actual harm...I hope it was just a rumor.”

“Is anyone else saying anything online?” Jesper asked, handing Nina her phone back.

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I have updates for news in general, this just popped up when I was ordering.”

"I saw him yesterday. He seemed fine—I mean he looked tired...sick maybe? He was coughing a lot.” That uncertain feeling only grew

Nina froze, looking up from her phone. “Wait, you talked with Wylan yesterday?”

Jesper cringed, “Yeah, I messaged him two nights ago…after we saw him at the restaurant.”

“And he actually agreed?”

Jesper nodded. “I was shocked as well, but…I think there's something else going on. I don’t think what happened was the truth. I mean, his management team is micro-managing his life, and now this?" A part of Jesper wondered if he was even allowed to cancel shows on top of everything else Wylan had admitted. 

Nina’s brows creased together, but before she could speak again, Kaz walked passed the entrance. 

"Why are you staring at your phones and talking?” Kaz asked, stepping outside. “If I wanted you to gossip instead of work, I would have just done all of this myself.”

"Wylan passed out after his show last night," Nina explained, and Jesper noticed the shift in Kaz’s face as well. 

"Rumored to, or at least that's what his management is saying.” Jesper chimed in.

"They're saying it's fake?"

"Alluding to a panic attack before the show, but that's it."

"Hm." Kaz glanced behind Jesper as his head tilted ever so slowly. Like he could hear the cogs of a hidden machine behind the plastered walls. Jesper knew that face all too well. 

He narrowed his eyes. "You know something."

Kaz shook his head as he began to walk away. "Not enough. Send me where you got that information, Nina.”

Jesper wasn’t going to let Kaz just leave,  however. If he knew anything about the man, whatever idea he was forming had been forming for a while. So, he followed Kaz back inside. "What do you know, Kaz?" 

“Like I said before, not enough for you to come up with conspiracy theories with. Now I really would love to be able to see that desk today.” The man grumbled as Jesper was still on his trail.

“And it's not a coincidence that you happened to come to the restaurant I was eating at?”

Kaz wanted them to run into Wylan. And Jesper was going to find out why. "I talked to Wylan yesterday. We met up."

Kaz froze at that, turning around to look at Jesper, eyes wide and hungry for knowledge. “Follow me.” 

Guess that could make him talk.

Kaz had led Jesper across the building to another smaller room that could be used for a study or a bedspace, yet there were no windows. Stacks of documents lined the back wall, but besides that, it was empty. The moment Kaz closed the door, the questions began pouring in. "What did he tell you?"

“Oh, so now you want to know.” Jesper teased. But Kaz wasn’t amused. Jesper's smile faded. "I mean, we didn’t talk about much. We were only there for a few minutes.”

“Must have talked about something. I need to know what.”

“Why do you even want to know?” He scoffed. “Not even a week ago, you were calling Wylan a spoiled brat!”

“And that hasn’t changed. Now tell me what you talked about.”

“Fine!” Jesper threw his arms up in the air. “We talked about how it was a shock to see him there, how shitty his management is for not allowing him fan-gifts and dictating what he wears, how you more then likely robbed that store and stalked Wylan to the restaurant we visited and thats it!”

Kaz still had the same stoic expression. “What else? How did Wylan look?”

"Dressed like any celebrity wanting to not be seen, looks sick, I guess. That's the only way I can describe him. Seemed more pale, coughing….and…"

“And? Sick how…?”

Jesper bit his lip, remembering how Wylan had jerked back. He had tried to run through any possible explanation in his mind. They were exes, and the touch was jarring. Wylan didn’t expect it, may not have wanted Jesper to touch him. 

All of those could make sense, but none explained the look of terror on his face. Even if his eyes were hidden, it was plastered all over Wylan. He was terrified. 

"You need to tell me, Jesper."

Jesper sighed, rubbing his neck. "It's probably nothing… He started coughing.  Horribly. I reached out to him and he flinched back violently. Something I would expect you to do, but not Wylan. Not to that extent. He left after that. Now tell me what you’re thinking in that head of yours."

“Fine.” Kaz huffed. “There are some moments in the timeline that don’t add up. Wylan got signed in October five years ago, and had been with us for two years prior.”

“And?”

“And, we were about to go on tour, yet it wasn’t until he got signed did he finally tell us he was a Van Eck? It doesn’t make sense why he waited when he had access to that monopoly already.”

“Maybe he wanted to grow in popularity in a non-nepotistic way, but got tired?” Jesper snorted.

Kaz’s lips curled into a thin smile. “That’s what I thought. But I did some digging. Wylan was signed with Damien and Silverstone Studios for about eight months before Van Eck bought out the company. The odd thing is, I can’t find any information about that studio besides an address that leads to a building that doesn’t look like it's been used in years, and one website. While it was an independent studio, no other artist was signed on for it?”

"So, you’re saying it doesn’t exist?"

Kaz sighed, frustration creeping into his voice. “I still need to figure that out. That's why I didn’t want to share an unfinished theory.” He hissed. “I don’t know why Van Eck waited to buy that studio, why his father didn’t just sign him himself, why Wylan got tired of dear old daddy in the first place. If that studio doesn’t exist, why create a website and a fully furnished building and then abandon it in the first place? There is a missing puzzle piece I need to find. I have all the other pieces, I just need to put them together.”

Jesper’s smile faded again as Kaz’s words started to sink in.

He was right.

Wylan had never talked about his past, and Jesper never brought it up. But seeing Wylan now, anyone could see how much a famous life had taken its toll on him. And with the few bits of information Wylan had told him, something more sinister was at play.

Wylan was the missing puzzle piece they needed to solve it. 

“Wylan gave me Damiens' number.”

“What?” Man, Jesper must have been breaking a record for the times he shocked Kaz today!

“Before he left. Wylan gave me Damiens' number in case we ever wanted to see him perform.”

“Wylan wants us to see him perform?”

“That's what I thought! I keep thinking that this whole feud— like you said, it doesn’t feel right.” Jesper never reached out, but neither did Wylan.

“I never blocked you. You didn't block me either. Did you want to talk just to curse me out in person? Blame me for the band breaking up and only me getting signed? Because I never asked for it.”  

Wylan’s words echoed back in his mind. In five years, with all the new phones, Wylan never once blocked him. Why? That was the question of the ages. 

Why did Wylan lie to them about his family history?

Why did he stay with them for years, only to leave in one afternoon with no goodbye?

Saints, Kaz was right. He shouldn’t have asked.

“Do you think he passed out, Kaz?” It was as if his and Wylan’s souls were still intertwined, Jesper couldn’t shake the feeling of something wrong. Like a rotten core inside an apple, hidden by the perfect skin of the apple. Someone was hiding the truth. 

Kaz looked up to Jesper, “I think you already know the answer. Now, you told me Wylan gave you his number. Can you call him?”

 “Damien?” He asked, forcing a laugh out of him to stop the dread from overwhelming his mind.

“He’s expecting your call for tickets, What if you’re just wanting to check up on Wylan? ”

“Kaz, I can’t just– he’s probably busy.”

“Call him.” Kaz repeated, and Jesper knew Kaz wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Fine. Yeesh. Okay.” Jesper mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he clicked into messages, finding the text that had the man’s number.  Calling Damien was the last thing he wanted to do. “Want me to put it on speaker or..?”

Kaz gave no answer, only staring back at Jesper.

“Speaker, it is then.” He grumbled, pressing the call button and set the phone on the table.

"Damien Alblas at Van Eck industries. Who's speaking?" The same voice from two nights ago came from the phone. 

"It's Jesper Fahey? Wylan said—"

"Ah. I was wondering when you would call. So, what days can you and the others make it? All of Belendt is sold out but Wylan starts his performances in Lij in four days and will have another three performances there. The venue is a bit smaller as it's mostly farmland surrounding the area, but we can squeeze you in."

"Oh— I'm not. I'm not that sure. I'm not calling for tickets exactly."

"Oh. Then why are you calling?"

Jesper bit his lip, hoping that whatever crazy plan Kaz was thinking would work. " We saw some news articles, and I wanted to check in. Is Wylan okay?”

The line was silent for a few moments before the voice spoke again. "He's fine. In fact, we just had a meeting to discuss ways for this not to happen again."

Jesper didn't know why that made him feel uneasy. “So did he pass out?”

“That's none of your concern, Mr. Fahey. I really do wish people would stop believing everything they see online. This is how cruel rumors can start.” Damien spat, venom lacing off his tongue. “You were a part of the band The Crows, though. Weren't you?"

"Yes? I don't know what that has to do with anything..."

"Inej Ghafa, Matthias Hevlar, Nina Zenik and Kaz Brekker. You guys were on a path to stardom, but only lasted three years."

Jesper looked over to Kaz, whose stare dug daggers into the phone.

"I’m well aware of what happened."

"I’ve listened to a couple of your songs. They were good. It's such a shame how that fame was cut short.”

“And where is this going?”

Damien chuckled slowly. “I can entertain catching up with a friend after a few years, but I would suggest you stop contacting Wylan and bothering him with questions. The past should stay in the past for a reason.” 

"I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“I care for the well-being of Wylan just like you.  But I would hate for this to become an obsession. “

“Is it an obsession to try to catch up after five years?”

"Of course not. I am fine with the tickets, but Wylan is already distracted enough as is."

Jesper could only scoff as Damien continued. “I would just hate for you not to afford your rent this month. You’ve been making new attempts at breaking out, haven’t you, Mr. Fahey? Extras in commercials, modeling here and there, it would be just awful if you stopped getting call backs for any projects.” 

How did he know that? Jesper looked over to Kaz, whose eyes flickered over to him. Both men thinking the same thing.

"Is that a threat?" Jesper asked.

Damien chuckled again. “ I understand you care about him, I really do. But there can only be so much done. Wylan is on the last leg of his tour, and already we need to make sure fans don’t stalk him from his hotel room, or try to grab at him when he’s singing. I mean, I’m not even supposed to tell you this but…He is already having plans for his third album and we need heightened security for making sure nothing gets leaked. There isn't enough time in the day to make up lost time with his previous bandmates.”

“I’m sorry, I know he’s busy, but I just—” Wait, why was he apologizing?

“Actually, no! I’m not sorry.” Jesper could feel the anger only rising, and there was nothing to hold him back. “I get Wylan is busy, I'm not expecting him to drop everything, but he invited us. I didn’t force him to do so, and neither did you.” Jesper huffed out. “So, for your information, Damien. We will be going to one of Wylan’s shows,  and you will wait until I call you once we confirm what day. I won’t call last minute, i’m not that much of an asshole, but you do not get to speak for Wylan. Good fucking day.” 

Jesper pressed end call and let a few mumbled curses out under his breath. 

“Well, that went surprisingly better than I anticipated,” Kaz spoke slowly.

Jesper let a weak laugh out. "So…How do you feel about taking a trip to Lij this weekend with the others?"

Chapter Text

Jesper could hardly see outside the car window due to the rain. And he guessed it was fitting with how he felt; Like chaos coming down.

The storm that had poured down in Ravka had finally moved downwards to Ketterdam. In heaps and heaps of rain. And yet the crows were still making the track to Wylan's concert in Lij.

It felt odd seeing the venue pulling up. It was smaller than the other ones Jesper had seen in photos or videos, but had been sold out nonetheless. Due to the storm, they had made it during the opener's act. The base was vibrating the walls as they were led backstage. Jesper hadn’t had time to see who was opening, but he had a good voice.

Jesper could feel everyone’s anxiety grow more each second as they walked closer and closer to Wylan's greenroom. He got signed. They didn't. He had been living the dream they’d always wanted for themselves. Anyone would be pissed off and anxious to see him again. Not a glimpse like before, but talking face to face to the one to stole their dreams. They could have been performing here in another life. These lines, fans, could have been for them.

"His opener is still performing, but there should be a break between acts. Someone will come get you when it's time." The backstage manager explained as she knocked on the door before opening it and letting everyone inside.

As soon as they entered, it was as if the crows were transported to a glimpse of Wylan’s world. Inside the small green room was a couch on the left and a large makeup vanity station that spanned across the front of the room. Besides the costumes and makeup scattered across the desk and walls, it was fairly neat. But none of that drew Jesper’s attention.

In the middle of the station was Wylan, like the centerpiece in a painting.

Wylan looked...

Jesper couldn't sugarcoat it. He looked fucking hot.

He was wearing a short, buttoned trench coat with the top open, followed by black pants. On the left side was a black fabric pauldron. He had one earring on his left ear with a long ribbon. His hair was gelled but messy, unlike the slick back photo Jesper had seen before. And he was also wearing black eyeliner that seemed to make his eyes pop even more.

Stop staring!

Wylan looked up from the mirror at the sound of the door, eyes flickering to the reflection before he turned around to confirm the truth. They were really here.

"I wasn't expecting any of you...You guys actually came?"

"Had to cash in those tickets," Jesper replied, trying to tear his gaze away from the man. "Besides. A free concert is a free concert."

Wylan smiled weakly, moving to stand. "I’m not technically supposed to talk much after my warmups. I could strain my voice. But I hope the trip wasn't that bad."

It was obvious that both groups didn't know what they should do. Hug Wylan? Shake his hand? Just stand here?

"It wasn't," Kaz replied, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Your team was generous to offer us hotel rooms for one night so we wouldn't be driving until 2 am in a rainstorm."

Wylan opened his mouth to say something, just as the door opened again. And any light in his face drained.

“There’s my star.” Damien grinned as he walked in, the sharp cut of his suit doing little to soften the smugness in his voice. His eyes swept the room, slow and calculating, landing briefly on each person like they were items on a shelf. “And… the rest of you. Surprised you managed to show up in this weather.”

"You get used to the rain in Ketterdam." Kaz muttered.

Damiens' smile was strained. "Of course."

Jesper's eyes stayed on Wylan. Watching as his body stiffened up again. It was subtle, just like the previous times, but Jesper was getting better at catching those small moments.

“I was so relieved to hear you finally accepted his offer. It’s really generous of him to invite his old bandmates to his concert. It's such a nice way to reconnect with the people who, you know, helped make Wylan who he is.”

His eyes only narrowed.

"Like Jesper just told Wylan, we're glad he offered." Inej cut in, the tension in the room as sharp as her knives. "It'll be nice to catch up again with Wylan."

"Of course." Damien turned over to Wylan,  scanning over him like a stylist assessing a mannequin. He moved to adjust the collar of his jacket, pulling it open to expose more of his chest before moving the earring from behind his shirt to in front. "There we are. You need to look perfect tonight."

Wylan offered him a weak smile as Jesper met Kaz’s eyes. Both were thinking the same thing.

"Your opener just finished his performance. So, I’ll say ten minutes and you can go on?"

Wylan nodded again silently.

Damien smiled once more. His gaze lingered over Wylan for just a beat too long. "Don't mess this up, alright?" He teased, yet his voice held a threat behind it. Just as the beat was over, the man turned to everyone else. “Well, I should get going. It’s a shame you missed the opener, but I hope you all enjoy the rest of the show, everyone!" He said, moving to walk to the door.

The second the man walked away and the door closed, Nina turned her head back to Wylan. "Well, he’s just a ball of delight, isn't he?"

It took a few moments for Wylan to break out of the haze he was in. "He's just stressed."

"And you aren’t?"

Wylan shrugged, clearing his throat. "It’s always a little stressful but...I love it. I enjoy all of this. Besides. He has a bigger workload than me, so I shouldn't complain."

"He isn't the one performing." Matthias brought up.

Wylan swallowed at that comment, eyes scanning over his old bandmates. "I should head out now. You guys as well.” The singer said, yet he hesitated in moving. "I…I asked if it would be okay for you guys to watch from the wings instead of the audience." Wylan explained slowly. "The crowds can get...intense. Even with VIP. I’ve been trying to make it more accessible, but I guess it’s not a big enough issue for them," he muttered, "I know how touch could be an issue for some of you guys, and I wanted to make sure my show would be enjoyable."

Jesper had a feeling he knew who they were.

"That's really thoughtful." Inej smiled. "Thank you, Wylan."

Jesper glanced over to Kaz, letting a grunt out at the man’s silence.

Kaz glared at Jesper before he huffed, turning to Wylan. "I appreciate your concern."

Wylan smiled softly. "Well, if the wings get too intense as well, you are welcome back here. I have a TV that shows the stage, I'll let the crew know in case someone tries to stop you.

"Thoughtful," Kaz muttered as the door opened yet again. The same manager from before peeked her head through.

"Wylan? You should start heading to places. Same for the rest of you.”

Wylan nodded as he started to walk outside the, the cheers of the crowds growing louder and louder. Wylan stopped for a moment ahead of the group as he coughed into his arm. And coughed again, leaning against a wall as he continued to cough violently.

"I'll get you some water." One staff said, but Jesper's attention was already focused on Wylan.

"Hey, are you okay?" He walked over to Wylan, but still kept his distance from the man. This felt too familiar for Jesper's liking.

Wylan took another deep breath to compose himself, coughing one more time before he looked over to Jesper. "Why...Why wouldn't I be?"

"Do you see yourself? You've been coughing a lot and—"

His eyes narrowed. "Nothing happened. I'm fine. And it’s just a cough. It’s my fault for talking this much before the show anyway."

"If you’re sick, then—"

"Wylan! You need to get to your cue now. You can drink this on the way. We can retouch your makeup there." The same staff member spoke, handing the singer a water bottle, which he took immediately.

"I should go. Maybe we can talk more after the show?"

Jesper sighed in defeat, nodding. At least that didn't change. Wylan was still as stubborn as ever. "Yeah. Good luck." Jesper said softly.

Wylan gave one last look to Jesper before he followed the crew member to what Jesper assumed would lead him to an opening on stage before making his way back to the others.

"Everything okay?" Inej asked Jesper, seeing him stagger back to the rest of the group near the wings.

Was it?

"I don't know."

The lights shut off suddenly as smoke started to fill the stage. The audience erupted in cheers, signaling the show's beginning.

From the wings, Jesper could see the whole stage. Wylan had appeared at the top of some through a hole that was hidden behind the wall. For a second, Jesper wondered how he would even be heard over the crowd, but the moment Wylan opened his mouth, it was like a spell was cast across the venue.

Pure silence.

As the show went on, wylan danced like he owned the stage. Any fear he saw before was gone, and the Wylan he remembered five years ago broke through whatever cage he was crammed into. Song after song, Wylan kept singing. Like a siren in the ocean, beckoning sailors to come closer. Jesper was awe-stricken.

Then what? Another sensible part of his brain asked. You haven't spoken to him in five years. Despised every award he got. Scoffed at album drops, interviews, you hated him. What makes you think he'll crawl back to you after everything? You can't expect one fleeting chance to change the past.

Of course, it couldn't. Because it was now Jesper who wanted to crawl to Wylan. To stagger onto the once familiar stage, heart blazing through each chorus of song after song.

Jesper missed it. He missed Wylan's contagious laugh. The way it seemed like his freckles glowed with every smile. Jesper missed hearing all the wonders that made up Wylan's mind, his thinking process for songs. Jesper missed seeing Wylan be alive. Not like this husk of an imposter that danced in Wylan's skin, acting like everything about this new life he made for himself was fine.

Because it wasn't.

Anyone could see that.

Jesper hated him for those years. But simmering below was jealousy, betrayal, and a beating, yearning heart waiting for the one person who made him feel whole again.

And like the Saints heard his unfinished prayer, they gave him everything he wanted, but in some cruel, twisted joke, he couldn't have.

Seeing him perform online was one thing. But now? Jesper wished he could bathe in the richness of Wylan’s voice all over again. He missed it. Jesper could barely hear Wylan's voice over the reverberating of his own heart.

Song after song after song, Jesper watched. Wylan hit the final note in his song I’m Alive, microphone raised into the sky. His voice reverberated through the venue's walls as if the man could command sound itself.

The lights shut off, signaling the end, and the crowd erupted in screams and cheers.

Wylan looked like he would pass out again. Jesper noticed how his breaths were shallow and quick as he practically limped to the wings. His eyes blinked rapidly, but just as Jesper opened his mouth, the singer was swarmed by staff.

He was handed the bottle of water as another crew member adjusted his suit, and between sips, another member touched up his makeup to make him look perfect again.

"Are you okay?" Nina asked. "That was intense."

Wylan nodded weakly, chugging down the rest of the water as he caught his breath. "Just need a minute."

"Do you need to sit down?" Inej asked.

Wylan shook his head. "I’m fine. I’m just waiting—"

"ENCORE."

"ENCORE."

"ENCORE."

"For that." He smiled softly, handing the empty bottle to the crew member. Wylan looked exhausted, but Jesper could see the spark in his eyes shine. And that wasn’t something that could be faked. Wylan loved this. He loved performing.

Even if it was killing him.

He watched as Wylan was handed a microphone, taking a deep breath before turning to stagger back on stage, waving out to the audience. “Who’s ready for one last song?"

The crowd erupted into cheers.

"Now, as a special treat, I think it’s time you guys here an unreleased song for my new album! How does that sound!"

The crowd got even louder.

By the end of the encore song, Wylan had to be helped off the stage by staff. Of course, no one in the audience saw. With the lights shut off, it was hard to tell there were three silhouettes instead of one.

"You look like you're about to pass out," Matthias remarked, watching as staff brought a chair next to Wylan as he collapsed onto it.

Saints, could he even walk?

"I'm fine."

During their interest rehearsals during the crows, it never ended like this. Sure, there were sometimes Jesper couldn't feel his legs, but those rehearsals were rare, and everyone agreed to end it after that.

"I need to get back to the hotel soon.. I normally just soak in an ice bath for an hour." He chuckled, leaning back on the chair. "Just need a minute."

"You're not exhausted after all of this?" Inej asked.

"I'm very exhausted." Wylan laughed. "But I love it."

"Wylan!" A crew member ran over to him, the man's hair was pinned back as he was holding a clipboard. The poor boy looked just as exhausted as Wylan. “I am I’m very glad to catch you before you leave. Your father has arrived and is expecting to talk to you."

Wylan's smile faltered before collapsing completely. "Wait—Wait, what? My father’s here?"

"Yes. He wants to talk about that interview tomorrow. It's very important.”

"It can't wait? Even for a phone call?"

"I’m afraid not. He stated it was important to talk directly to you. He didn’t tell me more than that. I’m sorry.”

“Where is he now?”

“In the lounge.”

Wylan looked over to the others before an almost uncanny smile stretched over his face. "Of course. Let me get changed into something more suitable. I'll meet him in five minutes?"

He nodded, moving to walk off to check another task off the list.

Wylan stared blankly in front of him for a few minutes before seemingly snapping out of some trance. "I should go. Thank you all for coming."

"Is everything alright?" How Jesper wished he could hear what Wylan was thinking. He had never met Van Eck. But the man was on the council, the richest man in Ketterdam, and someone Wylan took after it seemed with his lies. Even then, he always got off-putting vibes from him.

"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" His smile was strained as he moved to stand up again, legs trembling like a newborn calf. But before Jesper could say anything else, Wylan limped off.

“We…should start to head out. Try to beat the crowd.” Nina muttered, worry laced her voice.

"Has anyone seen where Kaz went?"

“I’m right here.” The shadows spoke. Everyone turned around to see Kaz, hand gripping his cane detrimentally. “While you were listening to these mediocre songs, I found someone. Follow me.”

-
Kaz led the Crows through the backstage halls of the venue, and Jesper watched as everyone began to reset for the next night already. The workers were probably just as overwhelmed as Wylan. Jesper thought.

“Where are you taking us?”

“You’ll see.” Kaz said as they stopped at another door. Kaz knocked three times in a row, and a few moments later, a boy with long black hair and golden eyes opened the door.

“No one else followed you?” He asked timidly.

“No one.”

“And you promise you won't tell anyone else?"

"I promise you know one will know." Kaz confirmed.

That gave little comfort to the boy, but he sighed. “Come in then. Quickly.”

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Jesper asked the boy in front of him as everyone shuffled into the other green room. The boy shut the door and locked it immediately behind them.

“You didn’t tell them?”

"Must have slipped my mind. Everyone, meet Kuwei Yul-Bo. Wylan's opener for the Kerch segment. We've agreed to sort. Kuwei, why don't you tell them what you told me?"

Saints. He was Wylan’s opener? The boy couldn’t have been older than 20 at the latest.

Kuwei looked between the group, shaking his head. “You can’t stay for long. I’m already risking my job over this.” He muttered. “Wylan did pass out on his first performance in Kerch. Everyone backstage saw it, and a few people were filming, but they've been scrubbing those videos. I remember going to congratulate him but..." Kuwei swallowed. "Staff had to carry him to the medical room. But he— I thought he was dead for a minute. I mean, he was just limp."

Jesper flinched at the image his mind created.

"He was transported, and I asked about it the next day, but Damien kept insisting Wylan was fine. He had everyone sign an NDA, still in case the media or others poked around.”

"Did they say why?" Nina asked.

Kuwei shook his head. "I bet it was from pure exhaustion. I’m not a part of his team, but there's just something— off."

"Off?" Inej frowned.

The boy nodded. "I just assumed cause he's a bigger artist, but...he's always on edge. Always swarmed by other team members or his manager. He hardly has any time alone. They don't even give him a break! And don't get me started on Ketterdam." Kuwei scoffed. "Six shows straight? It's ridiculous. I’m only playing three, so they still have no openers for the other three nights, and we perform there in...less than three weeks."

Jesper didn't think he heard him correctly. "I’m sorry, he's playing six shows straight?"

Kuwei nodded. "And then going to a huge gala the night after. And then apparently there's a photo shoot the next morning. He never gets a break."

The crows shared glances. Three shows straight already were exhausting. But six back-to-back? Jesper knew some artists could pull it off with proper rest and a good management team. But now he wasn’t even sure Wylan had that. Saints. They were going to work him until he drops dead.

"Look. You need to go. I already said more than I should have. Whatever this is—just be careful, okay? People don't like it when others snoop around."

Jesper still couldn’t process what he was hearing. What did Wylan get roped into?

@SingersandBone23
I was in the pit at the first Beldent show!! The lights went off, but it looked like he had passed out. Even through the whole show, he seemed to be off.

@Simp4WyVanEck
Wylan has been seemingly more sick recently :( I hope he's okay. I could never be a singer.

@chorusandchemistry
Omg! Thats right didn’t he cancel three shows in Fjerda??

@PrinceOfH3arts
He seems better now, I just came back from his show tonight. He played an unreleased song for his new album but looking back, he did look more pale…

@stream4chaos
He's just another talentless nepo baby who sucked dick to get famous and now can’t handle the work. Wouldn't be surprised if it was his managers. LMAO.

Jespers eyes furrowed at that last comment before shutting his phone off and leaning his head back on the bed, covering it with his hands. Flashes of Wylan’s performance were etched clearly in his mind like a time capsule.

"You okay?" Inej asked, walking into the second hotel room that was connected by a door.

"Just looking online."

"About Wylan?" She said, moving to sit down on the edge of the bed, her hair was let down from the braid she kept it in, yet she was still the only one who hadn’t changed for the night.

“What else could there be?"

Inej pressed her lips together, looking around the room at the others still unpacking, planning to get ready for the few hours of sleep they would get tonight as they moved between the hotel rooms. Wylan’s show ended at 11:30 pm, and they had made it back to the hotel at almost 1 am. Nina, Matthias, and Jesper shared one while Kaz and Inej shared the other.

"What do you remember? About that day?" Jesper asked Inej, but also to anyone else in the room.

"What is there to forget?" Matthias muttered. "One second we were finalizing plans for our tour and the next..."

"If Wylan wanted to move on, why would he invite us now?"

"Make up for feeling guilty?" Inej offered.

"He signed a deal for himself without consulting us. It wasn't a group decision. He did it for his own gain and then threw us to the dirt" Huffed Nina.

"What if he didn't?" Jesper spoke up, watching as the eyes of everyone trailed over to him..."He could have been lied to. I don't want to discredit him, but...someone could have used his dyslexia against him."

"But he’s able to listen to all contracts. Either online or on text-to-speech."

"I know. But what if someone tampered with it after Wylan listened to or downloaded it? I don't trust that Wylan would have let Damien read it to him." Jesper explained. “I don’t like the guy. There's something off with him, and every time he’s with Wylan, I’ve seen him tense up. I mean—I’m still pissed off at him. Even now I can’t forget that, but what if he signed something else he didn’t agree to?"

"Why wouldn't he tell us then? Kaz could have easily found a loophole to get him out."

“Maybe it was too late.” Inej muttered softly.

Then there was the matter that the studio Wylan signed to didn’t even exist before he joined.

Saints. Why didn’t Jesper ever question this before? Two weeks ago, Wylan was a passing thought, and now his whole life was intertwined with Wylan’s all over again. This only happened because of that chance encounter with Wylan outside the restaurant, which he knew Kaz had something to do with.

It all started with Kaz. Just like the band forming.

"Kaz. Why did you have us plan to run into Wylan?" Jesper asked, finally pushing himself up. “And don’t tell me some half-assed line of I will tell you when I have evidence, like last time. You wanted this to happen. Why?”

Kaz looked up from the book he was reading on the chair, glancing over to all the eyes now focused on him. "Why did I create a reason to change restaurants to the same one Wylan would be at?"

"Nothing comes to chance with you, Brekker." Matthias crossed his arms.

Kaz, knowing he was outnumbered, sighed. "And I was just getting to the good part." He muttered under his breath, closing the book. "The studio Wylan joined with Damien, Silverstone studios doesn’t exist. Well, it didn’t before Wylan. I was doing more digging on that, and Van Eck, to see the connection. With Jan Van Eck having a surprise meeting tonight, gave me confirmation on my theory.

"Which is?" Jesper prodded.

A sly smirk spread across the man’s face. " Van Eck has been illegally stealing Wylan's money and earnings for the past four years, and I believe is doing so with the contract Damien had Wylan sign.”

Chapter Text

"Mr. Fahey. I thought about your proposal." The voice on the other end of the phone line was tight and rigid. Annoyance was bleeding through each word like it was a chore. 

"And?" Jesper asked Damien, his fingers drumming on the table backstage as the man let another huff he thought Jesper couldn’t hear. Jesper was well aware that he had called him out of the blue and that Damien had his own opinion on him and the crows, but with the proposal Jesper brought to the table yesterday, he knew that the man couldn’t resist the offer.

"And like I said before, Wylan can’t have distractions around him.”

Jesper scoffed. "He wasn't distracted."

"Not in the way you view it." 

What was that supposed to mean?

Jesper looked around the green room as his idea hung in the air. He was on his break between trying on hats for the past hour, and wasn’t sure how long he would be here for the day. So, he did what Jesper did best. If Ketterdam has taught him anything, it was to let the other person believe they were in control. "Look. You hate me. You've made that perfectly clear. But Wylan is coming to Ketterdam in less than three weeks. You still need an opener for the other three nights, right? What better way to do it than to use the band he used to be a part of?”

The same band that he left in the dust for more fame.

“Just consider it. I mean— think of the publicity it could do.”

"I have considered what's best for Wylan. I still want to know how you know that fact when only a select few do."

"I have my ways. Besides, I would hate for you to fire someone." Kuwei was a good kid. Even within the few minutes Jesper saw him, he wanted to make sure the kid didn’t end up in this mess. Working Wylan playing for six shows was bad enough, but to expect a kid who seemed to have just graduated high school a year ago to perform six openers as well? Jesper was glad he was advocating for himself.

If only Wylan could do the same...

"Yes. It would be terrible. And have the other members expressed this same thought?"

"Yes." No. No, they haven't. It was impulsive. Stupid, even, but they would understand. If the plan was to help get Wylan out of whatever contract he was under, then this was the best way. Why sneak around when they could confront the source head-on? "They're schedule is free for the last week." 

The line was quiet on the other end, and time seemed to slow down. It felt like an eternity of waiting. Each tick of the clock seemed decades apart. Jesper licked his lips as his leg bounced, waiting for Damain. This could have all been for nothing, another reckless choice by Jesper could result in Wylan’s team putting more barriers, and the window would slip further and—

"I will consider your offer."

"Really? Thank y—"

The phone hung up before he could finish. Jesper muttered a curse under his breath and set his phone down, running a hand over his mouth. Was this even the right choice? Jesper should feel joy. Kaz wanted them to get closer to Wylan? This was as close as they were going to get. Even then, his emotions felt scattered. The resentment for Wylan still lingered, and he wasn’t sure if it would ever go away.

But on the other hand, Jesper could never truly get over Wylan. All the mindless, drunken hookups blurred together, his purpose without the band faded as well. His father knew about the falling out, but not everything. Jesper couldn’t bear to tell him that he wasted the money for university on gambling, and then the money from the band on more gambling. Jesper was in worse debt now than ever before. 

So this should make him thrilled. They would be getting paid, Jesper could see Wylan again, they could finally talk without interruptions, without a time limit, just the two of them. 

 He needed to text everyone. Let them know, even if Damien would more than likely disagree.

"Jesper Fahey?"  He looked over to the open door as the Photo Assistant peeked through. "We're ready for the shoot if you’d please follow us to hair and makeup for some minor adjustments.”

Jesper pocketed his phone. "Let’s get to it then." 

- 

One stylist adjusted his bell-shaped top hat before the cameraman snapped more photos. The lights hurt his eyes, and an itch that consumed his whole body. Jesper hated sitting still. 

The shoot was fairly simple. He was posed in the middle of an archway leading into a grand spiral staircase that looped upwards for three floors. In the middle of it, a grand chandelier that made the light bounce off its crystal structure in a way that seemed as if light itself was dancing. 

He had to give props to Kaz, though. He wasn't his agent, but the man had gone out of his way to look around for jobs.  Jesper was fairly sure he didn't know about his debt, but either way, he was glad a friend could help out.

The phone call still lingered on his mind, not even an hour later. Jesper still couldn't believe it. A phone call to ask to open for Wylan. How was that even possible? How could so much change in a few weeks?

He booked this photoshoot two weeks ago, met up with Wylan for the first time in five years, where everything he knew was shifted from under his feet as he fell. Where the two talked and laughed like old times again. For a few moments, it felt like things between the two weren't broken. If he thought hard enough, Jesper could remember Wylan's soft hands over his skin, his laughter golden and bright, illuminating the room.

But now, that laughter has vanished. Wylan's once bright face was hidden behind a broken porcelain mask that seemed to gain a new crack each day. 

Jesper was sitting here for a photoshoot, all while Wylan was being exploited, and Jesper couldn't do a damn thing about it. It made his skin itch even more just thinking about it. How could he pretend everything was fine when this situation was anything but normal?

The shoot was a blur. Jesper had one more break for the shoot until he finished up the last hour, and his mind was still buzzing. As he made his way back to his apartment, all he wanted to do was sleep the rest of the day away. However, his plans came to a halt when on his door, a note with bright red letters stared back at him. 

FINAL NOTICE FOR LATE RENT.

He was going to pay! This shot was 385 kruge, and then 15% of any sales of the hats. It wasn't nearly enough to pay his late rent. Let alone his staggering debt, but he was trying. 

He really was trying. He just needed more time. Jesper ripped the notice off before crumbling it into a ball and dropping it on the porch. He couldn’t even make half his rent with this payment, but Jesper refused to ask Kaz for more money. He couldn’t beg for handouts. 

Jesper opened the door, and his phone buzzed before he could even step inside. 

TheBastardHimself

*Video attached* The unedited interview that was scheduled earlier today. You should watch it.

 

Rootinshootincowboy

How did you get this??

 

TheBastardHimself

I have my ways. Just watch. This was filmed two days after your little chat with him.

Jesper rolled his eyes, locking his door behind him, walking to his couch, sitting down, and tapping the link.

He held his breath as the video popped up immediately. In front of a camera, Wylan was wearing a floral pink suit and matching pants with embroidered green flowers and leaves. Next to him was what Jesper assumed was the interviewer, dressed in a dark blue jumpsuit with matching heels.

"Welcome back to Kerch Local News. “My name is Elira Falden. Today, we are joined by rising star and son of Councilman Jan Van Eck. We are pleased to have you, Wylan Van Eck.”

"I’m glad to be here."  He smiled, hands fidgeting in his lap.

"I’m glad too.” She smiled. “I know you have been busy with your tour and Nachtspel ending. So, let's get on with the questions. You've been on tour for the past year. How has that been?"

"It’s been amazing, honestly," Wylan said. "I’ve loved meeting new people, seeing other countries and their cultures."

"What has been your favorite place to tour?"

"Gosh...I...well, I have a place in my heart for Kerch, but I really loved Novyi Zem. It’s such a breathtaking place, and everyone there was so kind. I would love to go again.”

"I’m glad to hear that." She smiled, eyes flickering down to the notepad of questions as she flipped through them. This would never be seen on TV, but it was interesting to see it here. 

"Now, if teenage Wylan could see you now, platinum records and all, what would he say, and would he believe this is really happening?"

"I believe that he would be thrilled by this opportunity and thankful to those who made it real."

Oh please.

"That's so sweet to hear. Has your life this year been stressful? You've been on tour and have an upcoming album. How has that been?”

Wylan nodded. "Any job is stressful. Some days have been harder than others, but my excellent team helps me. And yes. My new album is releasing soon. I wrote it on tour, and I am very excited for everyone to see it.”

"Some viewers have expressed concerns about an incident during your first show here. Could you shed some light on that?"

Wylan seemed tense, but continued as if he had memorized a script. "Of course. I am not sick. I know some people have expressed that concern, but I don’t want to take away help and resources for people who are. The truth is, I had a panic attack before the show and thought I would be okay to go on. I love performing, but I also have anxiety and...It can be a battle sometimes, but like I said before, I have people around to help."

Anxiety attacks my ass . Now that he knew the truth that Wylan had passed out, Jesper wondered how many of these questions had been discussed before. Was any of this what Wylan wanted to say?  

The interviewer nodded. "We have one more question for you, Wylan. If you wouldn't mind."

"I don't mind at all."

"Thank you. We know you started your journey with a band called The Crows,"

Oh no.

"Do you think starting out as a member helped define your growth?"

Wylan's demeanor shifted into fear in an instant. He looked behind the camera once again, then returned to the interviewer. "I don't know, " he said, desperately trying to keep his smile up.

"You don't know? You were with that band for two years and then vanished off the face of the earth for eight months until your rebrand. Do you still keep in touch with them?"

Wylan looked behind the camera in distress. "I um— that wasn't..."

"There were some rumors that you've been in contact recently with your ex—"

"That's enough questions." A deeper, darker voice said behind the camera. Jesper recognized it as Damien. 

"We still have three more questions we've agreed upon." The interviewer protested.

"You broke the contract. Be thankful this isn’t live, and we aren't suing you for your job."

She closed her book and nodded slowly. Jesper had a feeling she already knew the consequences of going against Wylan's management. "Of course, sir. I apologize." 

"This is an interview. Not an interrogation. It’s ridiculous!" Jesper watched as the man walked into view in that same clean-cut suit, all while Wylan refused to make eye contact with anyone, his wide, fearful eyes staring at the ground below him. 

"We can cut the last few questions out. Let’s plan to dub another question over it and re-film it.” He glanced over to the cameras. “And shut the cameras off. We’ll take ten, then come back.” The man said as he turned back to Wylan. "Now, can you understand why those people are distractions? What would have happened if this were live? If your father were here? Everyone would have seen you panic."

"It won't happen again." 

"It better not." 

Wylan hesitated for a moment before speaking again.  "Have...have they said anything about the tickets for my shows in Lij?"

"No." Damien rubbed his temples in annoyance. "But it’s probably for the best, Wylan. They left you once, remember how you acted? I would hate it to happen again.”

He could only nod timidly.

Damien looked back at the camera and narrowed his eyes. "Is the camera still rolling? I said to cut it o—" 

Jesper stared at the dark screen for what felt like an eternity. And then he relayed the video. 

Rootinshootincowboy

So, he had pre-planned questions, right?  

Biscuits&Blood

More than likely. I watched a YouTube upload of his actual interview, the last two minutes are completely cut, and he's asked Can you share with us any upcoming news about your new album instead. 

Rootinshootincowboy

He can’t answer questions, can’t accept fan gifts without approval, can’t wear what he wants, or speak to people without permission. How is any of this legal? 

TheBastardHimself

You’d be surprised. His contract could have slipped in vague wording for security that allows them to do this. Fan gifts must be reviewed for illicit or harmful materials, preplanned questions to not risk a leak or cause panic like it did in the uncut interview, not meeting up with strangers without proper background checks due to protection for himself, and any of Van Ecks enemies. These follow basic precautions to watch out for, which is why they’ve been able to slip under the radar for so long.  

SanktaGhafa

There's something off about his manager. I don't like how Wylan acts around him. Even during his show, I know that look. I've seen it before on others.

Biscuits&Blood

I’ve looked through some previous articles for any other clues. I know he’s a manager, but he’s in the way of many of them, sometimes speaking for Wylan.  

TheBastardHimself

It’s probably more psychological as well. The way he gives Wylan a choice, but in reality, there’s only one true answer. His father is doing the same, I'm sure, to trap Wylan.

IfIHadToPickABlond

Kaz has a point. If this has been going on for five years and Wylan hasn’t even tried to contact for help, they made him feel like he couldn’t

Rootinshootincowboy

But we should have been there.

Biscuits&Blood

We can’t change the past, Jesper. This can at least try to make it right.

Rootinshootincowboy

Kaz. Are you any closer to getting a copy of Wylan's contract?

TheBastardHimself

No. His team has it down lock and key. This is all speculation at best.

Private chat with Kaz

TheBastardHimself

Talk to Wylan. Tell him you watched the interview. 

Jesper frowned and texted Kaz back.

Rootinshootincowboy

It's almost 7 pm, the interview happened hours ago, and we’ve already seen it

TheBastardHimself

And? There’s something called YouTube. I can’t get his contract yet, so this is the closest way we can do it. He doesn’t have a show tonight. You were busy all day, but you still want to support him. You don’t need to have seen it.

TheBastardHimself

He trusts you, Jesper. We need this. We need to gather proof.

Rootinshootincowboy

Fine.

Private chat with Wylan

Rootinshootincowboy

Hey, it’s me, but you probably know that already. Sorry. I just saw the interview!! You were amazing! I wish I could have seen it live, but I watched it on YouTube. 

Almost immediately, Wylan's caller name appeared on his screen, and Jesper couldn’t hide his smile. "Couldn't get enough of me?" He grinned. “I know, I know, you had to hear the praise from me personally.”

"What is wrong with you?" Wylan’s voice was quiet but blunt on the other end.

Jesper was taken aback as his smile faded. "What are you talking about?"

"I—" Wylan scoffed. "Going behind my back? Talking to my manager?”

"Once again. What do you mean?"

"About asking to be my opener Jesper! Did you even stop to think for once?"

Jesper frowned. "I thought they would tell you by now…"

"Well, they didn't!" Wylan cried out. "I thought—a text—something to ask me if I was okay with this before calling Damien with a plan fully thought out!”

“I know, I know. I should have told you, I'm sorry. But it’s not like we'll perform anyway."

"You don't..." Wylan let a scoff out. "They agreed to it. They want all of you to perform. They'll send specifics in the morning."

Jesper's eyes widened in horror as he pushed himself up from the couch. "Wait. Wait, what?"

"They want all of you to be my opener in Ketterdam. For three days at least.”

Jesper was still questioning if he had heard Wylan correctly. "What?" 

"Damien said he'll talk to you," Wylan muttered.

 Damien had a habit of forgetting, it seemed. Jesper ran a hand over his face in disbelief after a few moments of silence.. "We're actually performing."

"They already have plans to call it a wonderful reunion between the worlds.  Already in talks for it to be the biggest finale in Kerch history."

Guilt crashed over him as he realized the gravity of the situation. "I wasn’t trying to make decisions without you. Kuwei said he wouldn’t do more than three shows, and I thought..."  he hesitated.  "I just wanted to help."

“I don’t need your help, Jesper.  I’m happy for you guys. I really am." Despite his controlled voice, Jesper could hear it cracking underneath. "This was what all of you wanted from the beginning, before I ruined it. Seeing everyone again was wonderful! I miss them. I miss you."

Jesper swallowed hard.

"But I just…” Wylan let out a slow, shaky breath. “I thought I’d at least matter enough to hear it from you. Even if you wanted to surprise me. I don't like to be blind sighted."

"You do matter, Wylan." Jesper stammered over his words. "I should have told you. It just slipped my mind. I had this photoshoot and then Kaz—" 

"Don't," Wylan muttered. "Don't feel bad about what happened. I just would have appreciated a chance to be acknowledged. If everyone already agreed, I probably wouldn't have had a choice anyway, but I would have at least liked to know beforehand.”

"Wylan—"

"I need to go. Talk to you later, okay?" 

"Wylan, I’m so sorry."

Wylan was quiet for a moment.  "Yeah. Me too."

Before Jesper could yet another word out Wylan hung up, leaving Jesper alone in the silent apartment, staring at his phone.

He wasn’t any better than Damien.  All this talk of Wylan being exploited, possibly not having his own voice to answer simple questions himself, and here Jesper was hurting him just the same way. A twisted thought snaked its way into Jesper's mind. Now you know how it feels to be left out of a decision. But Jesper shot that thought down immediately. It wasn't fair to Wylan. He should have consulted with him, should have asked him before calling Damien. 

How could he be so stupid? 

A ding of a notification pinged his phone, pulling him from his thoughts 

Followed by another. 

And another.

Inej was calling him. And then Kaz. Followed by. Nina, Matthias, and Kaz again. Notifications were overloading his phone.

*ding* 

*ding* 

*ding* 

*ding* 

That's when another thought came to his mind.

Fuck.

*ding*

*ding*

He forgot to text the others as well about his perfect plan.

Of course, he forgot. Jesper Fahey didn’t think, he reacted and then regretted it time and time again. That was the cycle. Impulsiveness, regret, repeat.  Time and time again, like a broken washing machine spinning itself dry, nothing was left but the noise. That is what he was, and who he would always be. 

Chapter Text

The conference room was sharp and sleek. Windows lined the walls that looked down into the Financial District as The Crows sat at the long table. Jesper felt out of place, like he always did. Everyone was wearing suits with ties or business outfits. Saints even Kaz looked like a fine mercher. How did they have time to find these clothes with such short notice? Did they have them waiting around in their closets, collecting dust for this very moment? 

For the first time since his university days, Jesper felt his skin heat up and itch, and all he wanted to do was curl away. His leg consistently bounced beneath the table. Maybe his purple blazer was a bit too much? But it was the nicest shirt he had. 

Lawyers, Executives, Damien, Wylan, everyone was there, noses locked into the contracts The Crows were expected to sign after this meeting.

This is really happening. Wasn’t it?

Jesper shot Wylan a glance, trying to catch the singer's eyes, but was met with a refusal to meet Jesper’s gaze. The others couldn't meet Jesper's eyes either, but didn't blame them, they were in this mess because of him.

"So. Let’s begin to discuss your contracts, shall we?" The lawyer hummed. "I’m assuming you guys read through it on the way here?"

Jesper skimmed it. It was 18 pages long, which, for a simple opening contract, felt long enough to him.

“Well. We read all we could on such short notice.” Nina muttered. “So, thanks for that.”

Jesper winced.

"Where’s Jan Van Eck?" Kaz followed suit as the lawyers began to pass around physical copies of the contract. "Shouldn't he be here? This is his company, is it not?"

"Mr. Van Eck is currently busy. It’s the greatest honor there is to Ghezen, but rest assured, I can confirm anything you would have asked him." Damien replied. 

Jesper shot Wylan another glance to see his reaction to Van Eck’s mention...and yet it was the same look from before. His eyes cast downwards, fluttering every few moments. Saints, he looked exhausted.

"So, you'll be here on his behalf?" Inej asked Damien. 

"That is correct."

"Well then. I have questions about the contract. I was hoping to speak to Van Eck, but since you're here..." Kaz said, flipping through the pages. "Page 10, clause 8, states that we are required to practice for a minimum of 15 hours a week, and with the shows starting in less than two weeks now, would we be compensated for our missed work hours?"

The lawyers flipped through the papers rapidly to follow Kaz. "Yes. Although you are not required to set a time per day. We do, however, insist you try to run through your songs once." One replied. 

"Furthermore, I also noticed that there is no discussion on how long we will be on stage for. Some openers stay on for an hour, others less."

"Well, I—"

"Mari is the name of our choreographer. Same one as Wylan. Is she aware of my disability?" Kaz tisked. "I cannot walk or stand up for long hours without my cane, and any costumes may interfere with my leg brace as well. Would there be a disability advocate for me to make sure I’m not expecting—which I would never accuse any of you of doing, any ableism?"

Damien and the other lawyers murmured to one another before looking back to Kaz.

"We don’t have a disability avocet, but can find one for you."

"Good." Kaz said. "I will want to meet this rep before I even start rehearsing. Though I do find it odd you don't have one already."

More murmurs echoed through the room before one lawyer stood up, rushing rather quickly out of the room. Jesper had to hold back a laugh. If Kaz knew anything, it would be to make lawyers terrified of him.

As time went on, and the others brought up their own discussions, Jesper began to read more of the contract and its details.  He frowned as some words began to catch his eye. Supporting acts are limited to three cumulative hours per week of unscheduled personal interaction with the Headliner, outside of official tour rehearsals, performances, or promotional appearances. What the hell? 

He skimmed through it more as more sentences popped out.

Supporting acts are not allowed…

Supporting acts must gain permission…

Supporting acts may not…

"Half of these are just rules about how we can’t even talk to Wylan." Jesper retorted. 

The other Crows glanced over to each other as well.

Wylans’ fame is skyrocketing each day. We need to guarantee his safety."

"By not even letting anyone talk to him?” Inej asked. “Jesper is right, half of this contract is stating what we’re not allowed to do.”

“Supporting acts shall not engage with media, press, or digital platforms regarding the Headliner, his personal life, or tour details without prior written consent from Tour Management or the Headliner’s PR team.  You hired us to open for Wylan and yet there are more terms relating to him than to us.”  Matthias replied.

"I am quite aware."

"Then maybe it should show it." Jesper snapped.

"Due to circumstances, we cannot make major changes to your contracts, but we understand all your concerns.

Kaz cut in. "Why did you accept Jesper's offer if you're still this defensive?" 

Oh great.

Damien strained his smile. "We were given an ultimatum. Either have no opener or struggle to find one. Lo and behold, Mr. Fahey offered up your band."

"One we haven't played in years," Inej mentioned.

"I’m sorry." Damien frowned. "There must be some confusion. Mr. Fahey assured me you all agreed."

He wanted to shrink down and hide from everyone else.

"We didn't know until after we got a call." Matthias replied.

"Which is ironically how the band split up in the first place." Nina chimed.

Damiens' smile only grew. "Is that so?"

“But you were the one who agreed.” Kaz glared at him. “It should have been your job to reach out to us. Not Jesper. So, legally speaking, everything Jesper did was correct.”

Damien’s smile was strained as he shifted in his seat.

"What does Wylan think about this?" Inej asked. “Since we’re on that topic, did Wylan even agree?”

The room fell silent, all eyes trailing to the singer himself, who didn't even acknowledge a voice talking to him.

"Wylan?" She asked again.

Wylan finally looked up, dazed as his name was spoken, blinking a few times at Inej. "What?"

"How do you feel about all of this?"

His gaze flickered over to Damien before coming back to Inej. "I agreed. It’s for the best.”

Jesper's eyes narrowed at Wylan. What was wrong with him? Wylan would have every right to be angry, and yet he could barely make out a conversation. He knew the man must be exhausted, but he could barely keep his eyes open.

Jesper's eyes flickered to Kaz, who had the same reaction.

"Yes. Like I said." Damien muttered. "I am aware that I should have informed the others, but we can’t change the past, can we? It won't be long hours, nor every day, but we do expect you to practice your run at least once a day. Now. I have come up with a list of potential songs to sing. Crawl to you, Dreaming again, No mourners no funerals, prairie fire—"

"What about Makkers Wheel?" Jesper finally asked.

"It’s not on the list."

"That was one of our top songs."

"And a duet." 

With him and Wylan. 

The room fell deathly silent again before one lawyer cleared his throat. "In that case...Are there any more questions?"

For the next hour, everyone went through the contract, explaining each step they needed to do, signing page after page. Pre-approved songs, not allowed to discuss with Wylan without approval from management, not allowed to post on social media without approval as well, all in the name of “protection and privacy.”

It made Jesper’s stomach churn. If this was overwhelming, all these rules for only three days, how different was Wylan’s contract?

"You may discuss the legalities amongst yourself, but can't disclose the information online, to others or there will be legal action taken. On top of this, you cannot share that you will be openers until we create the announcement. 

"Sounds great." Jesper muttered, leaning back on the chair ready to get this meeting over with. "So, are we getting paid for this?"

"5,000 kruge as a flat fee." A lawyer with a red tie replied.

Jesper's eyes widened, planting his feet on the ground to keep him from tipping over. 5,000 kruge?!

"Then you'll each get a 20% cut from ticket sales, and then your days performing. The total should be around 30,000 kruge each. Give or take a few kruge."

30,000 kruge. That was enough to cover a huge portion of his debt, and keep the growing pressure others put on Jesper, reminding him to pay. It would also be enough to pay off his rent,

“And when would we be getting these checks?”

“You’ll get the 5,000 as a signing bonus, which should be coming into your account in a few days, and the rest after the shows. Now, if that’s the final question, then I believe we can start to finalize these contracts.

Everyone was so focused on paychecks and the final signing of the contract, and discussions amongst the lawyers drowned out everyone else in the room. Even Jesper’s mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of starting over and finally gaining the trust of his friends and father again, that he almost missed someone sneaking inside the room. Almost.

He carefully watched as an intern walked up to Damien, fear bobbing in their mouth as they whispered something to the man before glancing over at Wylan. As if the three were hidden behind a curtain, Damien leaned over to Wylan, gesturing to the intern before he slowly stood up.

Without missing a beat or asking any other questions, the singer followed the intern outside.

But before Jesper could do anything, Kaz was already walking up to him.

"You have two minutes to talk to Wylan." Kaz muttered in his ear, "Make it quick." 

Jesper frowned, watching as Kaz marched his way over to Damien, the Crows, and the other lawyers—shit, he should talk fast.

While the others were preoccupied, Jesper silently slipped out of the office, scanning the hallways until his eyes landed on the two. 

"Wylan!" Jesper called out.

No response.

He walked closer, trying to catch up to the two. "Wylan?"

They paused before Wylan looked over to Jesper, taking a few seconds too long to finally move his mouth. "Jesper?"

"I’m sorry, but Wylan is very busy—"

"This would just take two minutes. Please." Jesper begged.

The intern pressed their lips together and nodded. "Make it quick."

Jesper sighed in relief, looking over to Wylan. "Wylan. I am so sorry. I never meant for this—" 

"It's...it's okay."

Jesper frowned, studying the man more. "Is everything alright?" Wylan looked off. He wasn't anxious, or even nervous. He seemed detached. Sometimes, in the Crows, Wylan got that way when things were overwhelming, but there was something now that Jesper couldn't place.

Wylan wasn't acting like himself. Though maybe this was the new Wylan, and Jesper couldn't let go.

"I’m just tired. Early flight…" Wylan muttered. "And I have a headache. Maybe from the new medication...or something else..."

"Medication?"

Wylan suddenly snapped his eyes back up at Jesper like a kid in trouble at school. "I shouldn't have said anything."

Jesper's frown deepened at that, taking a step forward, but was cut off by the intern.

"We really need to go, sir. We can’t miss your flight."

"They can hold it." Jesper reached out to grab Wylan's hand; this time, he didn't pull away. 

Even with the layers of makeup and walls, Jesper could see Wylan's sick, sleep-deprived skin. He leaned in closer. "If something is going on, please know you can tell me. Or any of us. I know— All of this is so sudden, and I've been a shitty friend, but I do want to make up for lost time in the past five years."

Wylan's eyes flickered again.

"And I am so glad we are talking again. I’ve enjoyed seeing your shows for once, but if you need any help—" 

Like a codeword triggered inside of Wylan, he finally pulled away, flashing a glance to the intern before looking back to Jesper. "I'm okay Jesper." The lie was made of thick glass. Anyone could see that except Wylan. "But... I can see once I’m in Ketterdam again, we could talk more?" Wylan offered. "I know you've already...been through this contract buiness before but, can try to help with any questions?/p>

Jesper pressed his lips together, wishing that he could feel those same butterflies in his stomach, but that pit of dread still lingered.

He lost Wylan once. He couldn't lose him again. "We can get coffee?”

“Coffee is nice.” whispered Wylan.

“It’s a date then."

Before the man was ushered away by the intern, Jesper caught a glimpse of a real, authentic smile spread across his face as clarity struck his eyes for the first time today. There he was. There was his Wylan.

He stayed there for a few more minutes, watching as Damien walked past him without a second glance his way as he followed the two until Wylan turned the corner, out of sight. Only then did he turn around, coming face to face with the rest of the Crows.

“Did the conversation go smoothly?” Kaz asked, his voice as unreadable as ever.

Jesper opened his mouth to speak, feeling his throat dry all of a sudden. “Yes. But—Look. I know you guys are mad—" 

"Oh, I’m beyond pissed off." Nina cut in, crossing her arms. "You're lucky my attending is understanding and we’re getting paid. I could have been fired." 

Jesper winced. "I’m sorry. I was just...caught in the moment. I was busy and it just slipped my mind. I was going to tell you guys. I really was.”

“We know Jesper.” Inej said gently and stepped forward. “It just came as a shock.”

“I would have told you. I just didn’t think he would agree—not even after a day.”

“Wait, a day?” Matthias’s brows furrowed. “How long was it from you asking until he said yes?”

“I don’t…eight hours? Damien was against it at first, so I don’t understand why he even changed his mind.”

“Because he wants to get you in trouble,” Kaz announced as everyone turned to him. “Did you see how thrilled he looked when we said we didn’t know? He wants to get you in legal trouble, probably all of us as well.”

Because he was getting too close to Wylan. Getting too close to know the truth.

"Well then, he can come at us." Jesper grumbled. "I'm not scared of any threats."

"Jesper is right," Nina said. "They're planning something. But..this whole thing has got me thinking, it would be fun to play again." Nina cracked a smile. 

"Even if we could risk being black-listed?" Inej teased.

"How could they if they won't let us reveal we're even playing again?" Matthias joked. "I will admit that I miss playing as well."

“It’s a good thing everyone else agrees then.” Kaz held his hand out, keys dangling from them. "Shall we?”

The space was cramped, just big enough to store the instruments, but it was obvious the company had chosen this place at the last minute. Scuffed floors, half-dead soundproofing foam on the walls, and mismatched chairs only added to the last-minute choice. It wasn’t ideal, but it would do.

Jesper ran his hands over the drums—not his, of course, a rushing sensation coursed through him.  

“So,” he said, twirling a drumstick between his fingers. “What song are we playing?”

“What song do you guys remember?” Inej asked with a grin, weaving through the instruments, grabbing a bass.

“All. You can thank Kaz for engraving them in my head each day. But which one are you guys ready to play?” Matthias smiled, reaching for the guitar as they started the familiar movements of tuning them.

“We could go with the first song we wrote.” Jesper moved to sit down in front of the drums, lightly tapping each drum piece. “Simple enough for you guys to catch up to me.”

“Okay, there, Fahey.” Nina snorted. “You got yourself a deal.” She looked over to Kaz, who still hadn’t moved. “Well then? Are you going to join us? We’re already down a member, it would suck if it were two.”

Kaz finally moved, setting his cane against the wall close to him. “Jesper and Matthias will take on Wylan’s original lines. First chorus to Matthias, second to Jesper.” He explained, reaching down to adjust his leg brace before grabbing a guitar.

“Sounds good to me, boss.”  Jesper grinned. Without missing a beat, he raised his drumsticks and struck them together three times, counting the others in.

The moment the first cords hit, Jesper felt that pounding rush course through his veins like wildfire. Everything came back to him as if not a single day had passed. He pounded the drums, each beat reverberating back into his own soul.

He could feel the presence of Wylan’s absence like a missing note. The way his keys cracked like lightning, now gone. But Kaz, Nina, Inej, and Matthias played just as fiercely.

Jesper’s grin widened as his cue approached. The lyrics came to him effortlessly, clear as the morning sun rising.

No matter what game Damien was playing with them, the Crows were back. Nothing could change that.

Chapter Text

THE CROWS ARE BACK? 

If you’re like others, the name "The Crows" will bring back memories of recognition. Five years ago, The Crows began to rise in popularity and were on the verge of becoming a global sensation. With members Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Matthias Hevlar, Nina Zenik, Jesper Fahey, and formerly Wylan Van Eck, The Crows were on the brink of an international tour until it was canceled without explanation. Just one month later, the band officially disbanded, leaving fans stunned and wishing for answers. 

Since then, the former members have kept a low profile, with only Wylan pursuing a public music career, which has earned him acclaim and success. His breakout solo album "The Wayward Runaway' topped charts across the world, solidifying Wylan's name in history as not just the son of a Councilman. 

The other Crows remained mostly out of the spotlight, with occasional sightings and solo projects surfacing over the years, but no hint of a reunion. Until now.

In an announcement earlier today by Van Eck companies, confirmed that The Crows will be joining again with their old bandmate, Wylan Van Eck, to open for three nights of his "I’m alive" world tour.

"This has been in the works for a long time,” a representative from Van Eck Industries stated. “Scheduling conflicts and other priorities made it difficult. But the time is finally right"

While no further performances are planned, the announcement has raised major questions amongst fans. Is this a one-time reunion or the beginning of something more? Will they release new music? Or is this simply a final chapter, a farewell on their terms?

Jesper may have a bad habit of stalking Wylan's social media pages. Each new post sent a rush through his body. Reposted videos from fans, or from the official pages showed Wylan at each new show, singing his heart out to everyone. 

One photo in particular had Wylan draped over a movable table prop, microphone in hand, with his head hanging off. He was wearing a loose white shirt with puffed sleeves and black pants that went up to his waist, covered in jewelry. If Wylan weren’t a singer, Jesper could easily see him as a model. 

Wylan would be more of a model than Jesper could even be. Barely stepping foot into the industry, and he was still struggling. Jesper was just thankful the first payment was sent out. He still couldn't pay all his missed rent dues...which was still a problem, but he was able to start to pay off more of his debt. And wanted to celebrate with the rest.

But of course, like Kaz and the Saints knew Jesper's itch kept growing, he called in for another rehearsal. 

And he was the only one early for the first time.

Jesper groaned, shutting his phone off as he ran a hand over his face, looking over to the band of instruments that gave him the same rush that gambling gave him. Saints, it was too early.

Tomorrow, Wylan would start his week of shows back-to-back. And in less than a week, they would be on a stage—stadium again, and all Jesper could feel was fire burning through his veins. Jesper closed his eyes. Trying to remember that feeling five years ago. 

Sweat on his brow,

Heart pounding through his chest,

Jesper knew, that life couldn't last forever. But did it have to end so soon?

When he opened his eyes again, Wylan stood in the doorway, unsure whether or not to come in.

Wait.

"Wylan?" Jesper's eyes widened at the sight. He blinked a few times as if he could have been dreaming, but no. There he was. "You're here."  He stood up. 

"I am." Wylan smiled sheepishly before walling in fully. He was dressed in a simple sweater and pants, with sunglasses— why did everyone think that it made them less identifiable? "Look...I’m sorry about umm…the meeting….If I seemed off. But I did promise coffee."

Coffee.

A familiar softness spread across Jesper. "I would love coffee. Kaz made this rehearsal ridiculously early, and no one is even here yet! But do we still have to talk about contracts? I think I’ve done enough reading for a lifetime after reading that."

Wylan chuckled. "No. No, we don't. We can talk about whatever we want."

Jesper grinned, "And management is fine with you going out?" 

"I found time in my schedule. I didn't...I don't want to back out on my promise." Wylan frowned, looking around the run-down practice space. "I still don't know why they gave you this space. There's one much closer and bigger to the venue." "I can try to move you?"

"Oh—so you don't have to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I’m sure. I don't need handouts."

Wylan frowned. "It’s not a handout—I just want to help."

"I know, we like it here. Besides. It'll suck to move again when we start performing in a week."

Wylan pressed his lips together, nodding slowly. "Of course. I’m sorry."

"Don't apologize. You offered. It's fine." Jesper let the silence settle for a beat, his eyes lingering on Wylan. Was this how it was going to be now? Tension thick like syrup between every sentence? 

"There's a coffee shop down the block, you wanna go now? Beat the morning rush?" Jesper spoke again

"I'd like that."

Wylan coughed into his arm a couple of times before grabbing his mug to ease the tickle he felt.

"You sound worse than before, and you still have that cough." 

"Just a sore throat,"  Wylan muttered, sipping on his drink. The café was small, but it was still pretty packed. The two had ordered their drinks, plus two muffins. Jesper was almost done with his, yet Wylan's remained untouched. 

Jesper noticed how he looked around anxiously every few seconds, anxiously scratching at his neck. "Are you sure you'll be fine to perform tomorrow?" Jesper took a bite of his muffin. "It’s been weeks." 

"I'll be fine." Any fear Wylan thought leaked out had vanished. Immediately, he pulled his arm away from himself." What about you guys?" 

Jesper pressed his lips together, taking a moment to look up at Wylan even more. Hair quickly combed, sunglasses still on his face to try to hide his appearance. "We've been practicing daily. Kaz is back to his old self and has us running our set multiple times." Jesper groaned. "Last night he had us run each song five times! We were there for six hours."

Wylan snickered softly at that. "I remember that. Did he, um—give you any breaks at least?"

"Oh plenty. I think Nina would claw him if he didn't." Jesper laughed. "No but we generally had a break after each hour or so. I can hate the man, but he runs a good ship. Remember that time before our venue at the harbor? The smell of the fish was awful. Can someone even get seasick on land?"

Wylan laughed again. "We had to push our show back a day until you felt better." 

"I still don’t think I'll ever get used to Ketterdam." Jesper smiled, eyes not leaving Wylan's face, and his smile lit up the room. Why did he ever let him get away?

"Y'know, Ketterdam…never really felt like home." He muttered softly, taking another sip. "It feels weird to be back."

"Well, you haven't been here for a year. A lot has changed."

"Maybe for you guys. Not for me." 

"I'll have to show you around then." Jesper watched as Wylan’s cheeks started to turn slightly red and smiled. "But what about you? How are rehearsals going?"

Flustered, Wylan shook his head and forced another smile out. "Good. I guess. There's a lot of work to be done."

"Well, don’t overwork yourself. Six shows back-to-back is a huge feat. You’ll get to relax after right?”

“Barely.” The man grumbled, muffin still untouched. “There's this banquet the night after, and I still need to get ready for my next album drop.”  

"Are you getting enough sleep?" Jesper asked.

"I try. Work just doesn't go on pause cause of my shows." He muttered, looking around as the café started to become a little packed. Nerves ticking away.

Jesper noticed, tilting his head. “Hey, it is getting a bit packed. I would hate for someone to notice my charming looks. Why don’t we head back now?”

Wylan turned back to Jesper, shoulders untensing. “Are you sure?”

“Yep, besides, the others are probably already rehearsing, so it’s a perfect time.”

Already, Wylan’s face flushed in relief. The two men stood up, cleaning up the table before slipping through the crowd of people.

Jesper felt his phone buzz the momment they left. From Kaz, no doubt. But Jesper had texted him already to see where he was and how long he would be back. So Kaz would have to be patient and wait. Besides, the cafe was right around the corner, so the walk wasn't that long at all.

“Thank you for back there.” Wylan spoke after a few moments of silence.

“For offering to leave?” Jesper teased, a lopsided grin forming. 

“For not making a big deal out of it.”

Jesper’s smile faded just slightly. “Do... people normally make a big deal?”

“Well, it’s just…It’s like I said. I haven’t been back here for a while. Things are different on tour. People can act a certain way when there's someone famous. I mean, you saw me leaving the restaurant."

People had almost swarmed him.

"Does that happen often?" 

Wylan shrugged. "Sometimes. I've just learned to live with it, but would rather avoid it."

Shit. Did Jesper have to start doing that? He did remember a few people recognizing him in the past, but once news broke they were opening would he have the same rabid fans Wylan did?

"Besides some fans, did you enjoy being on tour and seeing everything?"

Wylan paused to think for a momment before smiling. "Yeah. I did."

"Heard from your interview that you loved Noyvi Zem the most."

"And I still do. I can see why you always talked about it. It was beautiful." 

Jesper smiled as Wylan talked of foundess about his home, Jesper missed it as well. It's been too long since he saw his father or visited his mother. "I always liked smaller venues. Something about performing in larger spaces always terrified me."

Wylan hummed in response as the two walked.

"Was it like that for you? I mean, you've performed in spaces with thousands of people. I still can't believe you're playing six shows."

"I can't either."

"Are you ready for it?"

Wylan began to fidget with his hands. "I'm trying to be but...I still have a lot to get done."

"Please tell me you're sleeping at least." He nodded toward Wylan’s sunglasses. “Those don’t hide the bags under your eyes.”

Wylan shrank down. "It's different on tour."

"You keep saying that." He protested. "How is it different that you look exhausted and sick?"

“I'm not—” Wylan pressed his tips together, shaking his head. “I don’t know Jesper. We just have long days, and I have other obligations than just performing. I know my limits, but I can't let myself get distracted."

There was that word again.

Jesper stopped walking. They’d reached the rehearsal space, the building looming over them. He looked at Wylan with steady eyes. “Am I a distraction?”

Wylan’s eyes widened. “No. Jesper, no—it’s not like that.”

His voice was quieter now. “Then what is it like?”

The two stared at each other, eyes searching for one another. Wylan’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. Words stuck in his throat like static. Jesper could hear the pounding of Wylan’s heart, the same drumming beat from all those years ago. He didn’t even realize he had memorized it until playing on the drums became second nature.

He didn’t want this to be the new normal between the two. He took a breath. He would pull Wylan back. "Do you remember when we wrote Makker's wheel?" Eyes flickered down to Wylan.

Wylan stilled. "Don't give me the credit. Most of the lyrics were from you."

"I could never write them without your melody Wylan." He said, taking a step closer to Wylan. "Hearing you play—Saints, it felt like I was transported to another world. I love your songs now but they're not the same." They weren’t ethereal. Wylan wrote the music for them, and probably helped with the lyrics but none of the songs truly expressed who Wylan was. Not like they did when he was in the Crows.

"Do you remember that?" Jesper asked, his voice barely above a whisper. "The first time we sang? Performed it live?" 

"Jesper—" Wylan’s voice trembled, and his eyes searched Jesper’s.

"Cause I remember." 

The two had inched closely towards each other to the point Jesper could feel Wylan's breath on his own lips. If he could just—

Wylan pulled away. "I can’t do this again."

Jesper blinked a few times, anger replacing shock. “Why not?" He asked. "Why can't we try again?"

"You don't get it."

"I don't get it?” Jesper’s voice cracked. “Wylan I waited for you. You were the one to sign the contracts and threw the band away. And yet I still waited. But you left without even saying anything!"

"I never asked to be signed!" Wylan shot out. "Did you think I wanted my boyfriend and friends to back out of a deal—you hated me for what I did but didn't even try to reach out!"

"You blocked us out of your life!"

"You think I wanted that?" Wylan scoffed, looking around again, body stiffening. "Just— let’s just forget about it. We should probably head back now."

"We, or just you Wylan?" Jesper protested. “Once this tour is over, are we still going to talk?”

"Please just drop it Jesper. Let’s just go. Okay? I don't— I can't stay here forever." Wylan urged, panic lacing his voice. 

Jesper narrowed his eyes, glancing over to where Wylan was looking. There was only a line of parked cars. “Is everything—”

“Yes. Everything is fine.” Wylan said as he pulled the door open himself, walking through the narrow hallway. Jesper kept his gaze on the other side of the street, trying to see what Wylan saw, but there was nothing.

He soon followed behind, catching up with Wylan as he opened the door to the practice room. Only to be met with the other Crows lowered the instruments, staring right back at them.

"What a surprise to see you here, Wylan." Kaz huffed. "And Jesper. I thought we agreed on a time?”

“Hey, I texted this time.” Jesper grunted.

Kaz sighed, eyes still not leaving Wylan. “I’m surprised Damien isn't trailing behind?"

Wylan's breath was still ragged as he looked over at Kaz. "I had free time in my schedule." 

"Right. Now, is this before or after another interview? Oh, but you also have a meet and greet VIP experience soon, right?"

Kaz." Jesper warned again, unsure about where Kaz was going with this.

The man grabbed his cane before walking over to the two. "And then let’s not forget about your rehearsals, where do you find time in the day for all of that on top of time yourself?"

Wylan glared back at Kaz. "I didn't have to come here." 

"But you did." Kaz grinned. "And judging by your hand touching your pocket every few seconds, I assume your phone must be blowing up in notifications asking where you are?"

Wylan subconsciously pulled his hand away from his pocket silently.

Kaz huffed. "Did you at least make sure you aren’t being tracked?”

"What?" Wylan stammered. 

"If you're going to bail on rehearsals a day before shows, the least you could do is make sure location services are turned off."

Wylan hesitated for a moment. 

"Well? Are they?"

"Yes." A beat. “It’s off completely. I just—I can’t lose it.”

“Good. Keep it off. Though it would have been better for you not to have even brought your phone. What will the media think? Their star singer ran away from rehearsals and flaunting a new‐old relationship with past singer-bandmate?”

Now Jesper was the confused one. "What are you talking about?"

The Crows exchanged looks. "You don't know?" Nina asked. 

Matthias set his instrument down, holding his phone out. "Some fan took photos of you two at a café. Not even an hour old. It’s everywhere.”

Jesper faintly heard Wylan curse as he walked up to Matthias, grabbing his phone. Sure, enough, it was the two of them, laughing together like a real date. Shit.

So that was why his phone had been burning with messages.

"I knew this was a mistake." Wylan laughed weakly as he pulled away from the phone. "I shouldn't— I shouldn't have come. I knew they would find me still."

Find me?

“Do they not know you left rehearsals?” Inej asked.

“I thought—It wouldn’t be as bad. It was meant to be an hour and a half, and I would be back. No one else was supposed to know.”

Now Jesper was becoming anxious on Wylan’s behalf. So that was why he seemed so nervous at the café and on the walk here. They really didn't know...

“Then why did you come if you would be this nervous?” Kaz asked, his voice harsher than Jesper assumed his intention.

"Because I wanted to help Kaz!" Wylan laughed, a hand rubbing his chest. "I knew that contracts could be confusing, and if there were any questions you had I wanted to offer answers— but I don't understand it. I tried, but I just can’t figure it out.”

"Figure what out?" Matthias frowned. 

"I’m sorry you guys didn't want to get signed before. I understand you guys are angry at what I did. I get it. I messed up, and I will never forgive myself. But you guys didn't sign them in the first place. So why were you fine with agreeing to it?"

"What are you talking about?" Nina frowned. "We never got any contacts before. These were the first ones."

Wylan paused, looking over to Nina. "What?"

"We never signed anything before now." She repeated. 

You never—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. “No. No, I— You got contracts.” 

"We didn't," Matthias spoke up. "None of us knew you were even scouted."

"You don’t remember how Kaz berated everyone in the meeting room with the clauses?"

"I wasn't..." Wylan took a step back, shaking his head. He blinked a few times, trying to process the information that was being given to him as cracks began to form in his walls. "I was told you all got contracts before I signed." 

"By who?" Kaz stepped in. "Your manager who now works for your father?"

Jesper could feel the blood drain from Wylan's face as the pieces started to fall into place.

Holy shit. 

"Wylan— were you told we all declined the offer?" He asked.

Wylan looked like a frightened animal cornered against a wall. His eyes darted between all of them, breathing uneven and shallow. “You’re lying,” he whispered. “You have to be lying. Please tell me you’re lying."

Everyone shared glances with each other, terrified at the sight in front them as if the slightest misstep could break Wylan. Even Kaz was finally processing the gravity of the situation. "We're not lying, Wylan."  Jesper took a tentative step forward, his voice softer now ."We were told you signed a contract for a solo career. Only you were scouted. And then left without a word."

"No. No, I tried—" Wylan shook his head, a hand moving to rub at his chest. "No. No, he would have said— he told me you didn't sign them. You were mad that I signed when I didn't even know— How was I supposed to know you weren't going to sign them?"

Jesper knew it. He knew something was missing. He had been so blinded by anger and betrayal, he didn't even bother to think—

Matthias reached out gently, instinctively, but Wylan recoiled from her touch like he was poison. He backed away more, eyes wide, breath coming too fast. "Don't— don't touch me." 

"Okay, it’s okay. We won't touch you." Inej spoke, holding a hand up to show that she meant no harm, but it didn’t help.

The man only shrank back farther.

It made Jesper wonder what the man was thinking. How much of his career was built on a lie? Now more than ever, Jesper desperately wanted to see what his contract entailed. What was in them that made Wylan so tired? So, stressed to the point of needing medication, worked to the point of exhaustion, and pumping out tour after tour after album?

Wylan seemed to be spiraling more in his own thoughts, his breathing hitched, panicked eyes wide and darting everywhere. Jesper took a step forward, frowning at his panic. "Wylan—" 

And then Wylan proceeded to faint.