Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Book had always been the quiet one, content to watch the world unfold around him. As an actor, his role was to become someone else, to feel emotions that weren’t his own. But there was one emotion that had always belonged to him—his feelings for Force.

Force have always had effortless charm and boundless energy, since the day they crossed paths in kindergarten. They had grown up together in the small town where everyone knew everyone. While they only shared rides in the school buses and brushed shoulders in the narrow streets of their hometown, they grew up into who they are, knowing the existence of the other.

But somewhere along the way, something changed for Book. He found himself falling for his childhood friend.

It had been easy at first, just two boys growing up side by side. But as they entered the world of acting, something shifted. Force was everything Book wasn’t—loud, charismatic, adored by fans and fellow actors alike. Book, on the other hand, remained the quiet one, often in the background, watching from afar.

They had never discussed feelings beyond friendship, though Book’s were impossible to ignore. He cherished every moment spent with Force, every conversation, every laugh—but deep down, he knew it wasn’t the same for him.

One day on set

Book had always known Force to be a hopeless romantic, but recently, his attention seemed to be elsewhere. They were shooting a scene together, and Force had been distracted, his thoughts far away.

"Ai Force, what's on your mind?" Book asked, trying to pull his friend back into the present.

Force turned to him with a small smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "It’s... this girl. I've known her for close to 10 years but recently we've been hanging out..." Force showed Book the girl's Instagram.

Book’s stomach tightened, he could feel his heart sinking. "Cookie?" he tried to keep his voice steady.

"Yeah," Force said, his eyes lighting up. "She’s amazing. I don’t know, I just feel something when I’m around her. You ever feel that way?"

Book swallowed hard, "I—I guess so," he said, the words tasted funny on his tongue.

Force didn’t seem to notice Book's shaken expression.

Book’s chest tightened, it felt like there were two walls closing in on him. He felt trapped but he couldn't run away. He had supported and loved Force. But in that moment, he wished he could be someone else, someone who was braver.

"You should tell her how you feel," Book said, his voice barely above a whisper. "She might feel the same way."

Force grinned, the excitement in his eyes palpable. "Yeah, maybe. But I’ll have to figure out how to do it right."

Book forced a smile, though his heart was breaking inside. "You’ll figure it out. You always do."

--

One evening, after wrapping up a long day of filming, Book found himself sitting with Force on the rooftop of their hotel. The sky was dark, and the air was cool, but the quiet between them was familiar and comforting.

"You know," Force began, staring out at the city below, "I think I’m going to ask Cookie out. I just have this feeling about her."

Book’s heart pounded. He dug his fingers into his palms to prevent his body from shaking.

"I hope she says yes," Force said, turning to look at Book.

Book met his gaze, his chest aching. "I’m sure she will."

There was a long pause. Force seemed lost in his thoughts, and Book took the opportunity to look away, to hide the pain that had become too familiar.

"I’m glad we’ve always had each other," Force said after a moment. "Even through all this crazy acting stuff. You’ve always been there for me."

Book smiled softly, though his heart was breaking.

Book sat beside his oldest friend, his feelings were unspoken and unacknowledged. Force would find his happiness with Cookie, and Book would remain in the shadows, silently loving someone who would never love him back.

This love was unrequited, but it was his. Even if this was all he could have.

Chapter Text

The first time Book realized something had changed wasn’t the long hours of practice, the intimate scenes, or even the teasing glances Force threw his way when they were off-camera. It was the way Force looked at him—his character—like he was the only person that mattered in the world.

They had gone their separate ways after high school, pursuing different paths in different cities. Book thought he would become an engineer. Force, on the other hand, had embraced the spotlight, charming his way through college and landing small acting gigs.

And then fate intervened.

Enchanté. A casting decision that brought them back together. Two childhood friends, now playing lovers on screen.

At first, it was easy. They fell into step as they always had, their years of friendship making the transition seamless. The stay overs, the late-night conversations, the laughter between takes, the comfort of an unspoken bond—it all felt natural. Until, one day, it didn’t.

It happened in a quiet moment between scenes.

They were filming—one of the first truly vulnerable moments between their characters. Force’s character, Akk, struggled with telling Book's character, Theo, how he really felt, for fear for not being good enough.

The director called action.

Force turned to him, his usual playful expression gone. His eyes held something deeper, something raw. Book could hear his own heartbeat, the quiet hum of the cameras, the faint murmur of the crew in the distance.

Force looked into Book's eyes with yearning and for the first time, Book wasn’t sure if Force was still acting.

His breath hitched. His body tensed. He had read the script a hundred times, imagined this exact scene over and over. But suddenly, it felt different.

Force was looking at him.

And Book felt a slow unraveling of something he hadn’t dared given a name to.

The realization hit him like a wave, knocking the air from his lungs.

He had always loved Force. As a friend, as a constant presence in his life. But this—this was something else. Something terrifying.

The director called cut. Force grinned and nudged him, teasing, “Why do you look so serious? That was good, right?”

Book forced a smile. “Yeah. It was.”

Force laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close like it was the easiest thing in the world. And maybe for Force, it was.

But for Book, it was the moment everything changed.

Because now, he knew.

And there was no going back.

Chapter Text

The night was warm, filled with the sizzling sounds of mookata and the chatter of the cast and crew unwinding after a long day of filming. The air smelled of grilled pork and lard. The air was filled with laughter mixing with the occasional clink of glasses filled with cold beer.

Book sat at the edge of the gathering, absentmindedly poking at his food. His mind was elsewhere—stuck in the scene they had filmed earlier.

Force acted effortlessly, looking at him with eyes that felt too real, too much. And Book had felt something crack open inside him, something he had been trying to ignore.

He needed to know. Even if the answer broke him.

His hands felt cold despite the warmth of the grill in front of him. He stood, slipping away from the table unnoticed, weaving through the scattered chairs and crew members until he found Force.

"Hey," Book said, his voice quieter than he intended.

Force turned, cheeks slightly pink from beer. "Hey, friend!"

Book hesitated, "..." When he finally mustered enough courage, he asked quietly, "Do you love me, Force?"

Force blinked, then let out a laugh—light, carefree, as if it were the funniest question in the world. "What? What's wrong with you?"

Book's heart clenched. Book smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes and he excused himself.

He walked until he found himself on the balcony, where the laughter and warmth of the gathering faded into the background. The night breeze was cool against his skin. The sky, darkened by the city's pollution, only seemed darker tonight.

His hands gripped the railing as he let out a shaky breath. Then another.

Then the tears came.

Silent, unstoppable.

Because now he knew.

Force would never love him the same way he did.

He looked into the starless sky and made a decision.

--He would lock his feelings away.

He would keep pretending.

Because losing Force—even just as a friend—was something he wasn’t willing to risk.

He wiped his eyes quickly when he heard footsteps approaching, swallowing the lump in his throat. By the time he turned around, he was just Book again—the quiet friend, the co-star, the one who would always be there.

And nothing more.

Chapter Text

Force couldn’t remember when things started changing.

Maybe it was the first time Book turned down supper after shoots. Or when Book stopped waiting for him after a day of filming, heading home without saying goodbye.

Or maybe it was when he saw Book laughing with Junior.

It wasn’t a big deal. Not really. Book could hang out with whoever he wanted. They all worked together, so it made sense that friendships would form.

Still, something about it stuck with him.

One evening, after filming wrapped, the cast gathered in the parking lot, discussing where to eat. Force turned to Book, nudging him lightly.

"You’re coming, right?"

Book hesitated for half a second before offering a small smile. "Actually, I already made plans with Junior. Sorry."

Force raised an eyebrow. "You two have gotten pretty close now, huh?"

Book shrugged. "Yeah, he's fun to be around. We have lots of things in common."

It was a simple answer, nothing unusual. But before Force could respond, Junior called out from across the lot, waving Book over. Without missing a beat, Book gave Force a nod and headed toward Junior, falling into easy conversation as they walked away.

Suddenly his phone rang. It was Cookie. He picked up the call and listened as she told him about her day. Cookie's voice was soft and cheery. Force stayed where he was, watching Book and Junior fade away from his field of vision. He blinked. He tried to shake off the unfamiliar feeling in his chest.

It wasn’t a big deal.

Not really.

Chapter Text

Force hadn’t thought much about it when he asked Book to go to the museum.

They needed some content for Valentine’s, and it felt natural—just the two of them, like old times. It had been a while since they hung out outside of work, and Force figured it would be nice.

What he hadn’t expected was for Book to show up with Junior.

"I hope you don’t mind," Book said casually before they entered the museum. "Junior wanted to see this exhibit too, so I thought I’d invite him along."

Force hesitated for the briefest (and almost unnoticeable) moment before nodding. "Of course not!" He smiled, maybe a little too quickly. "The more, the merrier!"

Junior smiled, warm and effortless. "Thanks for having me. I’ve been wanting to come here."

Force nodded, but something about the shift in plans unsettled him. He couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

The museum was quiet, the kind of place where conversations felt softer, more intimate. Normally, he and Book would drift through spaces together, moving in sync—pointing things out, making small observations, occasionally stopping for a dumb photo.

But today, something felt off.

Book walked slightly ahead, his attention drawn to Junior. They talked in hushed voices, pausing longer at certain exhibits, Book listening with interest as Junior shared his thoughts. It wasn’t anything unusual, but Force found himself trailing behind, watching instead of being part of it.

He told himself it was fine. It was just a museum. Just an outing.

It wasn’t anything, really.

It shouldn't be anything... Right?

Chapter Text

Book hadn’t planned to invite Junior at first.

When Force asked him to go to the museum, it felt familiar—like something they would have done back in the early days, before things got complicated. But that was exactly why he hesitated.

Spending time alone with Force, especially on Valentine’s, even if just for content, felt like a step too close to something he had spent so long trying to distance himself from.

So, almost without thinking, he asked Junior if he wanted to come along.

Junior was easy to be around—kind, lighthearted, funny and effortlessly warm. He had become one of Book’s closest friends in recent months, someone who made things feel uncomplicated. And if Book was being honest, he liked the way Junior’s presence made it easier to breathe around Force.

Junior was excited, stopping at almost every piece, eyes wide with admiration. Book naturally fell into conversation with him, enjoying the way Junior saw things—curious, thoughtful, unfiltered.

What he didn’t expect was how quiet Force had become. Force still smiled, still reacted when spoken to, but something about him felt… restrained. Like he was watching rather than participating.

Midway through a conversation with Junior, Book caught Force looking at him—not with annoyance or frustration, but with something unreadable. Book looked away, trying his best to look casual while doing so. He reminded himself to put a comfortable (but unnoticeable) distance between himself and Force.

He had spent too long standing too close to Force.