Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

☆You say I’m always leavin’☆
☆You, when you’re sleepin’ alone☆
☆But the, the car’s outside☆
☆But I don’t wanna go tonight.☆

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s been five months since you were last home. It’s been five months since you had last seen Mychael.

You got a call late one night after coming home from hanging out with him. You picked up the phone quickly after realizing it was your sibling who was calling you at midnight. They said something about Dad falling down the stairs, and you knew that at his old age that could either go like any other small accident, or it could take a turn for the worst. Dad would be fine; it was you who would end up in critical condition. You had rushed to your car, speeding down the highway as your heart raced with anticipation. The adrenaline dulled your senses, and the tears welling up in your eyes were now your biggest enemy. The streetlights all blurred into a bright line of luminescence as your car slid in the pouring rain. You ended up crashing into the concrete barriers that were supposed to keep you from going off the overpass. The whole car crumpled like tin foil on wheels, and you, forgetting your seatbelt earlier in your haste, were halfway through the windshield by the end of it.
Five months and several operations later, you were finally able to go home. As your door creaks open, you feel your heart slow. You’re happy to be home, but what has Mychael been up to while you’ve been gone? You were his only friend, and you just disappeared for so long. You feel so guilty.
“It’s too late to go out…” You think out loud, looking at the clock on your phone reading 1:37 A.M.
You shut the door behind you, setting your things down in the hallway and kicking off your shoes. You try to calm yourself down by making a snack, getting a drink, and counting sheep as you lay on your couch. You can’t muster the courage to go up to your bedroom, not when Mychael could walk by your living room window and knock wildly on it to get your attention just as he had done all those months ago. You toss and turn, trying your hardest to sleep. Nothing works. You try to close your eyes and force a dream, but all you see are his sad eyes. You feel stinging in your own eyes as tears squeeze their way from your sealed eyelids and down your cheeks. Fuck... You think to yourself as you shoot up. 2:45 A.M., you are back in the hallway and rushing to slip on your shoes. It’s pouring rain, just the same as the night that you left everything behind. You feel your breathing become that much more labored as you open the door and stare into the streets, now drenched. The wet asphalt reflects the light of the streetlamps, a black river reflecting the stars. You hate it.
“Just… Don’t take a car.” That would be an easy command to follow, seeing as you didn’t have one anymore.
You hold your breath as if the air outside is poison, then run onto the sidewalk. You let out a sigh as the cold droplets hit your skin. Your eyes scan the wide outdoors, half expecting to see nothing. You lock your gaze onto a figure walking in the opposite direction of your house. You couldn’t gauge who they were due to the numerous layers of clothes they had on, and the knitted red scarf around their neck.
Wait… Red scarf… Mychael…
Before you can tell yourself to stop and think about what you’re doing, your feet move on their own. You rush up to the figure and grab their shoulder with a type of desperate ferocity you didn’t know you had inside of you. The figure whirls around and pushes you to the ground with an equal kind of force.
“What the fuck are you doing?!” They shout, turning heel and running away before you can answer.
Well, that went spectacular. You grasp your heart as you lean your head back, feeling your clothes become drenched in rain. You’re sat on the ground with your knees up towards your chest, just as that person had left you. Your body gives in to gravity, completely forgetting that its goal was to keep you upright. You let yourself fall completely onto the dilapidated cement of the sidewalk, feeling every crack and seemingly useless piece of strange metal rub against you through your soaked clothes. You were now sprawled out on the sidewalk and crying at 2:50 in the morning. You couldn’t make any more comments towards those druggies downtown after today with how insane you looked at this moment.
You keep your eyes fixated on the sky above you, sobbing at the stars as you ask yourself why this all had to happen. You were still in pain, you were stressed about the costs of everything, and you were scared that you had just lost Mychael. Why can’t one thing go right?
You don’t know how long you lay there, but eventually, you got up off the ground and sauntered back to your front porch in defeat. You sat on the top step like a mistreated puppy, debating what you were going to do now. Your face rested in your palms as you sat keeled over. You looked like a dying cockroach. A pounding headache was forming rapidly inside your skull as the rain beat relentlessly on the ground surrounding you, deafening you. Soon enough, the pitiful insect position you had taken up became more of a real reaction to pain rather than a form of wallowing. The headache grew into a migraine, the worst migraine you’ve ever had, and you toppled over, falling down the steps of your porch. You felt as though someone was watching you from above. You struggled to open your eyes, and when you finally managed to force your eyelids partially open, all you saw was a familiar pair of boots.
It can’t be… Is it?
Your body begins to hurt all over. Every joint is overwhelmed with the sensation of a fiery knife cutting through you.
“It’s you… Where did you…” A familiar voice sounds from overhead, confirming your suspicions. The familiar soft and worried tone of his voice puts you at ease until it transforms into one of anger and disbelief. “Why did you leave me? Why didn’t you say goodbye?”
You grab at one of his boots as you attempt to look up at him, but it’s useless. You remain curled into a pathetic ball, one hand on his shoe in a pleading gesture.
“You really hated me all this time, didn’t you?” His voice cracks, the angry facade faltering, and you realize that you can feel him trembling.
You open and close your mouth, releasing sounds of anguish instead of answers to his question. Your ears begin to ring, and you feel Mychael pull his foot away from your clawing hand with vexation. For a moment you believe he is about to walk away, and in your desperation, you force yourself to rise to your feet despite the excruciating pain all over. You step forward, grabbing Mychael’s sleeve as you finally manage to look up at him. His brow is furrowed as if to say he’s angry, but the look in his eyes says he’s worried.
“I didn’t mean to, I swear, it was-” But before you could finish your sentence, the ringing in your ears grows louder, your vision goes dark, and you feel yourself falling.
As you fall, you swear you can hear Mychael yelling your name. Despite the sound growing more and more distant by the millisecond, you can sense something despairing in the way he calls out to you.
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Chapter Text

☆Use the sleeves of my sweater☆
☆Let’s have an adventure☆
☆Head in the clouds but my gravity centered.☆

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You wake up in the same soft bed you’d woken up in long ago when you’d first met Mychael. You quickly sit up, ignoring the vague soreness that still rests in your bones. You look around the cabin, your eyes finding exactly what you were looking for. Mychael sat in front of the fire knitting a blanket of some kind. You throw covers from your lap and rush over to his side. He barely has time to look in your direction before you’re already latched onto him, your arms wrapped tightly around his chest from behind. He flinches as you land on his back, his eyes widening and his breath halting for a moment. His tail flicks halfheartedly towards you before falling back to the ground.
“You’re awake.” He says as he stares into the fire, a solemn look on his face while he avoids looking at you.
“Mychael, I-” You begin, trying to find the best way to explain everything to him.
“No, I understand. Let’s get you home.” Mychael tries to shrug you off, but you tighten your grip.
“No.” You say with a firmer tone than you intended. Mychael seems shocked at the simple word, yet you feel his shoulders relax.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me, Mychael. I’m not going home. Not right now.”
“But I thought-”
“I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to leave you, not ever again. I missed you too much.” You feel a lump forming in your throat as your eyes begin to sting again. “I am not letting you go.”
Mychael remains silent, the entire cabin seems to be frozen apart from the crackling fire waving its bright arms upwards. After a few moments, Mychael’s tail wraps around you, pulling you from his back and placing you gently on his lap. You feel the warmth of his skin from beneath his soft sweater as he pulls you into an embrace, his head finding its way to the crook of your neck and resting there.
“Where did you go?” You hear him whisper into your skin.
“There was… An accident. That’s all that happened. I didn’t want to be away from you for that long, I promise you.” You keep it vague as you don’t want to remember the events of that night, or how you sat in the hospital wishing you could run away just to see him and make sure he knew you were thinking of him.
There was a small pause, and you could hear Mychael gulp, pushing back tears. “It feels like it’s been forever since I’ve heard your voice.”
You rest your head against his, your arms wrapping around his waist. You want to respond, but you’re afraid that you’ll break down.
“Keep talking, please.” His voice was pleading, and you could feel something wet start to soak into the shoulders of your shirt. He was crying.
“Mychael...” You lean back slightly, trying to gently slide his head away from the nape of your neck. You cup his face in your hands instead, his eyes puffy and wet as his mouth twists into a nervous frown.
You wipe away the remnants of tears from his face, a faint blue appearing on his cheeks. “I…” Your heart races as you attempt to form the words. “I, uh, really missed you.” You close your eyes as you press your forehead against his. You can’t tell him now, not yet, you can’t risk ruining everything after just getting him back. “Let’s promise never to leave each other, yeah?”
You don’t have to open your eyes to know that Mychael is smiling as he gently leans his forehead into yours. “Yeah, I like that Idea.”
As a comfortable silence washes over the both of you, you hear a rumble arise from Mychael. He was purring again. You both sit there as long as you can before an angry grumble forms in your stomach. Right, all you’d had to eat yesterday was hospital pudding and a microwaved meal. Mychael takes this as a sign to pick you up and place you on the bed.
“I’ll make you some food, firefly.” He ruffles your hair lightly as he turns towards the kitchen.
You know that his intention was most definitely to leave you on the bed so you could get more rest, but there was no way in hell you were about to let him out of your sight after all of this. You chase after him, being as quiet as possible, and you slowly grab at the hem of his sweater.
“Mychael,” You tug lightly at his sleeve. He whirls around, clearly not having noticed you following him, and gives you his full attention despite the sudden shock. “Can I go through your closet?”
“My closet? But you don’t need any clothes if you’re going home later today.” Mychael furrows his brow as he gives you a look of confusion.
“But…” You begin to pout in protest. “I want something that smells like you, I’ll stay longer if you let me have some of your clothes.” Now begins the bargaining stage.
Mychael chuckles, then looks at you while scavenging his cabinets for the ingredients he is going to need for your meal. “Are we making deals we can’t fulfill?”
“No! I mean it! I’ll stay however long I need. Please, Mychael.” You beg him, the puppy eyes you were making now welling up with tears.
Mychael sighs, setting down the numerous spices he had grabbed as he turns to face you. “I want you to stay a week at least.”
─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Chapter Text

I wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again
Wanna witness your eyes looking
I don’t wanna talk about anyone
I don’t wanna talk about anyone
Wanna sleep in your car while you’re driving
Lay in your lap while I’m crying.

A week? But, what about all of the calls you need to make and the family members you need to keep up with? Your brows furrow in thought, though you have to admit, you would rather sit here with Mychael the rest of your life than deal with all of that.
“Don’t worry, firefly, you don’t have to decide right now.” Mychael plants a soft kiss on your forehead before turning back to his work and finishing up the meal with a solemn smile.
“No, Mychael, I-” You stutter your way through the beginning of what you wanted to be an explanation, an apology, for your hesitation.
“It’s alright. I’ll take you home when it’s light out. You take the day to think about things, then I’ll come back that night. Meet me out front once it’s dark and give me your answer,” A slight look of betrayal passes momentarily across his face. “Or, don’t meet me outside at all. I’ll take the hint.”
Before you can argue and tell him you would never do such a thing, he spins around with a newfound enthusiasm. “Dinner’s ready!”
You both take your seats at the table. The only sound to break the silence is the awkward clanking of utensils on plates. Your mind wanders as you eat, playing out every scenario that could arise from this situation. You could just stay the week now, you could decide human life isn’t for you and stay here forever, you could refuse to see Mychael again after he takes you home. You feel disgusting as the last scenario plays out in your mind, a scene where you leave Mychael waiting at your doorstep until the early hours of the morning, just for him to feel neglected and run off into the forest where you will never see him again. Your eyes sting at the thought, and you now feel idiotic for making yourself cry with a fake storyline. You look down at the table and wipe away a few stray tears with your sleeve, hoping Mychael won’t notice. Too late, you hear the rattle of him frantically setting aside his fork and rushing out of his chair, his tail thumping haphazardly into his surroundings. He takes your hand as he appears at your side, worry clear across his face despite your refusal to look directly at him.
“Hey, look at me, what’s wrong?” He reaches up to your face, gently cupping your cheek in his hand and turning your face in his direction.
Your eyes meet his, and guilt floods your senses. At the simple question, “What’s wrong?”, a few tears turn into a river flowing steadily down each side of your face, a small pool forming where Mychael’s fingers meet your skin.
“I’m sorry, I just got in my head, you don’t need to worry.” You choke through the burning in your throat.
“What do you mean by that, firefly?” The concern on his face only grew as he wiped away your streaming tears with his thumb. His gentle voice was coaxing you to answer truthfully.
“I just,” Your lip quivered, and your throat tightened, threatening to close as tears still clouded your eyes. “I can’t lose you.” You feel weak; every ounce of strength that was keeping you upright feels as though it is all crashing down on you. You let your head fall to Mychael’s shoulders, your arms wrapping protectively around him as you grip his sweater for comfort.
“You won’t. I promise you that.” He whispers as he wraps you in a warm embrace. You feel yourself lift from the chair. A deep purr rumbles through Mychael’s chest as he carries you to the bed.
He sits on the bed with you cradled in his arms, soft words of comfort escaping his lips as his purring continues. Your nose is flooded with Mychael’s earthy smell as he begins to gently rock back and forth, the motion sending you into a pleasant exhaustion.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
You don’t remember falling asleep, much less how you got back home and comfortably tucked into your bed. Your mind is foggy as you clamber out of bed, hardly recalling the events of this morning, that is, until the scent of pine trees and wet autumn grass hits your nostrils.
Mychael.
You panic, grabbing your phone from your pocket to check the time. The clock flashes 12:30 P.M. before fading back to a black screen. At least you were able to ease your panic before it died. You plug in your phone, dreading the calls, emails, and text conversations you’ll have to deal with once it’s charged. What do you do now? Just wait? You can feel your legs start to crawl at the thought of sitting still until the sun goes down. All you want is to be in the company of anyone. You want to go back to Mychael, you want to scream about your troubles to your friends. Everything in your house starts to feel dull, meaningless. You have to get out of here. You slip on your beat-up Converse, grab an old MP3 player, some earbuds, and head out, leaving behind the suffocating scenery of an empty home behind you.
The ground outside is still wet, dew forming on blades of grass like constellations as the scent of soaked earth fills your senses. You put on your favorite playlist and start walking in a random direction. Somber melodies and nostalgic symphonies fill your ears, every note sparking a new pattern or color in your mind; a picture being painted on the canvas of your skull. It takes what you can only assume are hours for you to realize that you have no idea where you are. The cement sidewalk you had been treading on at first is now a beaten dirt path, one overgrown with grass and dandelions. For the first time since you left your house, you look up in front of you, A pale blue sky being overthrown by puffy white clouds, each mimicking the shape of something you can just barely make out. You come to a sudden realization; the realization that your body continues to ache, your legs more than anything now. You once again let yourself flop to the ground, but this time, it isn’t wet concrete soaking every inch of your clothes. You feel soft blades of grass cushion every inch of your body as the sun beams down on you, seeming to warm your insides, to warm your soul. You close your eyes, and the sound of your heartbeat blends with the music. You don’t know how long you’re asleep for, you only know that you wish you didn’t have to dream.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
“Come home.” A voice. It feels soft, eerily soft. “Come home to me.” A silhouette appears as the voice gets closer. It wasn’t just soft; it seemed to be muffled by clouds and mist; it was gentle but felt wet with emotion. There were no surroundings, just colors fading in and out as the figure got closer, seeming to change shape as it did.
“What do you want from me?” Your voice sounded distant, faded. You tried to speak with a firmness, an intimidation, but all you heard was a scared animal, squealing helplessly as you find yourself cornered.
“Come home. Come show me your face,” The figure shifted, an all-black silhouette undulating against a neon backdrop, the colors getting brighter and switching faster as the figure crept ever closer. “Show me your face, cover my heart in your grace.” The voice, or voices, of this creature had gone from eerily soft to overflowing with desperation, a begging yell emerging from deep within their throat as they spoke.
The figure reached out a shadowy hand, and you braced yourself for the feeling of their skin, if they had any, against yours. Your eyes squeezed shut, but there was no sensation against your flesh, just a cool breeze and a racing heart.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
You open your eyes to see a fading sky; your music has gone silent as well. The bright blue of the day had now faded to a rich, muted color. It was getting late, and you didn’t know how long it would take you to get home. Fuck. You know that all you have to do is walk straight ahead; you never make any turns when you're zombie-walking a mental breakdown away. You restart your music and start sprinting back home, only hoping you can cover enough ground to meet Mychael on time.
The sky darkens, your nerves threatening to plummet with the setting sun, until you see your neighborhood. The sharp roof of your house is visible from the very end of your street, and the porch full of potted plants surely helps make it visible too. You reach the front step, folding over so that your hands are gripping your knees for support while you heave and wheeze breaths from deep within your lungs. As your heart rate slows, as does your breathing, you step inside. The sun still had a few more minutes before it was fully set, and Mychael did say he would meet you once it was dark. You grab your phone, giving a few choice people a message saying you’re still alive, then clearing the rest of your notifications and stuffing your phone into your back pocket as you walk back outside.
Two minutes turn to ten, and ten turns to twenty, and so on until hours have passed, and the moon is now risen, shining gleefully down on you. You catch yourself staring at the night sky so intently that you almost block out the sound of footsteps approaching. Mychael, you’re here. Your head whips in his direction, lips curling into a relieved smile as you see that long red scarf covering his face. You jump up and wrap your arms tightly around Mychael’s neck with no warning.
“Mychael! You’re here!” You can’t help but let the excitement seep into your voice, your smile only slightly faltering when you realize that Mychael hasn’t yet embraced you back.
“Have you decided yet? What will you do?” Mychael’s voice was strained with hesitation; the uncertainty in his very own words was clear.
“I want to stay with you. Please, let me stay with you.” With those words, Mychael’s arms wrapped around your waist, picking you up off the ground.
“Then let’s get going, firefly.” With you in his arms and pressed tightly to his chest, you made your way into the forest.
You looked back at your house once before smiling and resting your head against Mychael’s chest. You closed your eyes, letting the rhythm of his steps lull you to sleep. The smell of pine trees and dirt was heavy on his clothes, filling your dreams with themes of sweet walks through the forest and long talks by riverbanks. With a week to yourselves, these dreams would surely become a reality. As you sleep through the walk back to Mychael’s home, a contented smile creeps across your face.