Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a beautiful jungle night in the hAArt of the jungle. U could hear birds chirping..bugs buzzing and CHEEKS CLAPPIN. thats right. The lion did NOT sleep tonight. He was gettin down and dirty with p*rnstar angle dust.

“YESSSSS LEOOOO KINGGGG THAT LION D IS INSANEEEEE” said angle as he got his cheeks CLAPPED.

Leo wa about to speak u til he heard a rustle of the leaves. IT WAS UNCLE LOPE. Uncle was shocked. He has nothingto say..
“UNCLE i can explain.”
Said leo.

“WHAT THE F* ARE YOU DOINF YOU FAGGOT.” Yelled Uncle Lope.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?” Leo yelled back.

Gundy was watching from slightly afar. “ he called u a faggot.” He said fancy.

“SYBAU GUNDY THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WIFH GOU.” Said angle

All of a sudden uncle lope chAArged at leo the lion with his big horns that leo used to use as handlebars. Sometimes he bounced on them. “AHHHHHH” said leo as he tried to run. He turned around and well…POP. lets just say..he was bouncin on them horns again. Uncle lope ran straight into leos ass. uncle lifted his head up and leo went up in the air too. “AHHHHHHH” said leo. Uncle lope didnt know what happend so he just saw leo dissapear not knowing he was on his horns.

“Huh? Whered he go?” Said the lopette.

The chest fluffette pointed at his horns. Uncle lope looked up and saw leos ass.
“EWWWW THIS LOOKS MAURICES LIKE RUSSELS ASSSSS” said uncle lope.

“How do you know that..?” Said leo.

“Im…cheating too..” said uncle lope.

“Ooooh kinky” said angel.

Tune in for chapter 2 to find out what happens next…

Chapter Text

Recently..on leo the cheaterarion.

Uncle: im..cheating too.
Everyone: WHAT!?

*black screen*

“With who!?” Asked leo.

“Ive been..cheating with Voodoo Chin.” Said uncle lope

And suddeny..there was a green cloud and a song started playing.

“You thought you could get rid of me?! FUCKING FOOLS! I.. am voodoo chin.” Said a mysterious voice.

Song:

Voodoo chin back in town, make sure to not make a sound

His chin will plunge into your ass, so don’t be crass!

You better runnnn run run! He’s after your bum! You better runnnn run run… cos voodoo chin is BACK.

Leo: voodoo chin? He’s back? I Hope he shows no crack!
Lope: oh he’s back, yes he’s back, and there’s nothing he lacks!
Angle: that’s for sure!😩

His chin can’t compare, so you better prepare!

Cos voodoo chin is back.

“AHHHHHHHH” said leo because he was scared.

“Oh youre scared now? Wait til you meet my evil inbred nephews..” said the voodoo chin

And suddenly..jareth and green hat came flying in.

Jareth is the inbred son of Chaz and Striker. He has a little brother, green hat. His uncle is Voodoo Chin. From a young age Voodoo chin influenced jareth and green hat to be evil. He drives an evil ice cream truck. Jareth and Greenhats parents found out about them being evil and disowned them, they then lived with voodoo chin. Voodoo chin has a son, Viktor. In Jareths teen years, his incest genes started to kick in and he started to have a crush on his cousin, Viktor. The crush was triggered when viktor wore a crop top that said “break my hole, not my heart”.

Jareth: YOU BETTER RUN YOU BUM

Greenhat: YEAH U BETTER RUN BEFORE WE SPIT OUR INCEST GENES ALL OVER UR ASSES

all the animals in the jungle were scared. The nephews started to fly over and spit their incwst dna all over them because theyre i bred.

“RUN MY LITTLE NEPHEWS! GWT THEM U INBRED BEASTS!” Yelled voodoo chin.

Gundham was on the side sipping his wine as per usual. “Interesting, might i say..” said gundy observing the scene. Jareth heard his little comment.

“HEY! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT FAGGOT!?” Said jareth flying towards gundy and spitting on him. Green hat followed.

Gundy: OH SHI-
Gundy started to run with the pack consisting of leo lope and angel while he got chased by the inbreeded bros.

Cham-p was on Gundy’s shoulder. He was very scared he’s catch incest disease and die. He squeaked up in his little scared hammy voice
“G-gundy..what are we gonna do..?”

Gundy was a very protective owner. “Dont worry my little hamster. We will survive these inbred freaks.”

*foreshadowing*

Chapter Text

Recently, on leo the cheeturairiun..

Champ: GUNDY WHAT WILL WE DO..?
gundy: dont worry champ..

*black screen*

Champ and gundy were running with the others from the inbreed bros. When suddenly jareth spat on gundy.
Gundy felt the incest come insidw of him. Champ saw him getting more incest.
“GUNDY ARE YOU OKAY!,?” Champ squeaked.
Gundy knew he wasnt going to be ok. He fell to the floor, dying of incestalopicus.
“Go champ..save yourself..” said gundy dying.
Champ looked scared and fat. “I CANT LEAVE YOU GUNDY!” Said champ
“Ill be ok..” gundy lied. He is good but he lies.
Champ believed him so he scurried along the jungle with his little hamster legs. The others had seperated anf got away and the incest bros went away to chase him so champ was all alone in the heart of the jungle.
He realised…gundy died.
And suddenly he saw a bathroom.
He started to feel a new feeling…insanity. Hes a good hamster..he doesnt know why he botes. He ran to the bathroom scared of this new feeling. He felt a rumbling in his lungs and stomach. He NEEDED to perform. He stood on the toilet like it was a stage. And suddeny….

“MY NAME IS THE F*CKING MIMIC, OH YEAH!
MY NAME IS THE F*CKING MIMIC OH YEAH!
DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUDUUDUDUDUUDUDUDUU!
Its time to run and hide…no time to fight.”

And suddenly..fizzarolli came dying in. He wheeled his hospital bed into the bathroom cuz he heard cham-ps singing. He thoight ut was beautiufl…until he saw it was his EX CHAMP.

Chapter Text

Previously on leo the cheeatbdiioaudn…

*in this au champ is not like anormal hamster hes like a furry like in hell hes a hamsterhound like loona is hellhound*

Then fizzarolli came dying in..
Champ: MY EX!?

*20 years ago*

Cash grab: happy 10th birthday shitarolli (ooc: hes kinda abusive in this au)

Fixz: thanks!

Cash grab: i got u a present its a hamster names champ

Fizz: *its love at first sight but in a owner/pet way* OGM I LVOE IT…!

*3 years later oh and btw champ can talk*

Fizz: is 13* hey champ can i tell u smth?

Champ: ofc fizz u can tell me anything

Fizz: so ..font make fun of me im insecure…im gay.

Champ: i support u! Im bi

*2 years later yes champ does live the smae amoutn of years as humans so hes not dead*

Fozz: *is 15* *starts to love champ in a lover way*

Champ: i feel the same…

*htey get tg and eat hamster food tg*

*1 year later cash grab gets fizz another hamster called sand and fizz kinda prefers him*

Champ: fizz why tf do u perfer sand over me u knew me 6 years and u only knew him a week?!

Fizz: nahhhhh chill yo chill were just pet/owner like i play with him n stuff yj i dont eat hamster food tg with him

Champ: OH HELL NO U GAYIE UR NOT PULLING THAT ON ME U HELLY
*He called him 2 slurs in one sentence gayie and helly*

Fizz: WTF I THOUGHT U SUPPORTED ME . UR THE GAYIE

Champ:…fiz….im bi.

Fozz: YK WHAT FUCK BIS U ALL CHEAT IM BIPHOBIC

champ: IM BREAKING UP WITH U AND GETTING ANOTHWR OWNER

*they break up*

*now….*

Champ: soo…i see ur dying..
fizz was hurt but used to it cuz once champ made fun of him for being a gayie.
Fizz: shut the fuck up bisexual
Champ: nah u cheated ur the bisexual xuz bis cheat dont they?
Champ said throwing shade to fizzarollis biphobicness when they broke up

And suddenyly…the door busted open. They heard a deep voice “VOODOO CHIN IS BACK. Voodoo chin is bacj in town..make sure not to make sound. You better run run run! IM after ur bum! U better run run run. Cuz voodoo chin is BACK”

champ screamed AHHHHHHH. fizz was confused and dying he didnt know who voodoo chin was. “WHO IS THAT AND WHY IS HE BI COLOUS AHHHH” and suddenly… voodoo chin disconnected fizzarollis life support. “Well that was easy!” Said voodoo. champ screamed “NOOOOOOOO I KINDA MISSED MY EXXXX!” he scurried over to the hospital bed with fizz (dead) in it. “Im sorry…dont leave me..i need u hear sith me. I know that ur love is gone..(in the way theyre exes and hes dead)”

Vodoo chin: thats right..i just killed ur ex..such a good idea! Leo and lope are next bye im outta herreee!

He left champ in the bathroom crying about fizz AND gundys death.