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“You’re not asleep.”
Vaan blinked as he heard Balthier from the door. The time was nebulous. The outside was completely dark, and the moon high in the sky. The only light was a single candle that Balthier was holding, finger in the loop of the holder. The voice was not one of disappointment or disapproval of Vaan being up so late. Really, that was his own choice if he wanted to stay up so late.
But it looked like Vaan had gotten no sleep at all. The bags under his eyes filled in the blanks of the story. Then again, it wasn’t like something Balthier could really criticize himself. He was also rather terrible at getting a proper night’s sleep. Still, Vaan was young and there was no need for him to be ruining his body like this.
“I…” Vaan, in the depths of the dark, looked like he was trying to pick his words carefully. At least the very little bit of his face that Balthier could see. “I just woke up and was hungry.” Not sounding the least bit confident about that. And Balthier could see right through it, looking unimpressed by his attempt. His brows furrowed and he let out the heaviest of sighs. “What are you doing up?” Vaan turned it right back on him.
And truthfully? He didn’t have a reason he was up. Vaan wasn’t being noisy, so he couldn’t claim it was that. It was so easy to just blame his body that didn’t want to stay asleep through the night. Or he could have blamed it on Vaan’s scent. The way he was stinking things up with how nervous and scared he was. It wasn’t an awful scent, an Alpha would take advantage of that.
Not Balthier. Another Alpha. One with far less care for the boy. One who would love to find a fertile, nervous Omega and ruin their life. For Balthier? It was more associated with desperately wanting to protect him. Like he had so many times before, and would continue to so many times in the future.
Shaking his head. He didn’t need to bring that up. Vaan was better off if he was not alerted to the fact that he smelt like a desperate, scared Omega. Because he was anything but. Instead, Balthier had to come up with another reason to be in here. And the easiest one? “I’m coming to make tea.” At least if Balthier lied, he was good enough at it that Vaan wouldn’t see through it. “You, however, should go back to bed.”
As Balthier stepped into the kitchen, he could see that something about that idea put Vaan on edge. In response, he pulled down a second cup and began to boil the water. Because he doubted he was going to be able to make him go to sleep so easily. “Or if you’re choosing not to, you can go sit. I’ll be over shortly.” He didn’t even have to look over his shoulder to know what option he took. He had always been able to read Vaan like that.
The kitchen’s silence built and built between them. And while Balthier could handle silence, there was something ballooning over them. It felt like lead might come crashing down on them. Balthier’s eyes moved over to the table before bringing the candle over to light up the lantern at the table. As he was doing it, Vaan looked at Balthier, before starting to speak.
“…What was the last nightmare you had?”
An innocent question. Balthier thought for a second before realizing what Vaan was really trying to get at. Not that Balthier planned to share his nightmares, as infrequent as they were. Those were for him and him alone, ones that he could keep in his mind to deal with when the time (never) came. “It has been long enough for me to forget.” He turned back to the water, which was boiling far slower than usual. Probably due to the fact that nothing was going on.
If things were happening, a different story. After all, a watched pot, or a watched boy, took it’s time to boil. So with eyes on the water, Vaan decided to percolate a bit. Taking a deep breath, loud enough to hear over the water starting to make motion. Balthier’s eyes moved to look towards him. Seeing him just enough over the light of the candle to make out his fully tired, wiped expression.
“…I keep dreaming…” Vaan started to speak, feeling his throat getting dry, “Of being one of those Omegas. The ones we’ve seen in cages.” Eyes turning away. Not that he needed to explain it further. Balthier knew it oh so well. How many they’ve seen. Transported to places that would much rather have kidnapped Omegas as spouses. Maybe even concubine members.
Things Balthier had seen too often to be comfortable with the idea.
“Have you been having these dreams for a while?” Filling up the cups with tea, as the water finished boiling. “You’ve never mentioned it before.” He would have done something before if he had heard. Vaan had kept it to himself. And it was something Balthier desperately wish he had caught onto sooner. It was pure instincts speaking to this. The Alpha in him wanted nothing more than to make sure he didn’t suffer. He wanted to protect him.
Vaan didn’t deserve to deal with this on his own.
“It… wasn’t happening frequently.” Vaan cupped his hands together, thumbs twiddling. “Not until this week.” Another loud gulp, as if trying to make the tears not appear. Trying not to look pathetic, which he was anything but. It was nothing something he would ever say about Vaan. “And then it started to happen almost every night.” Which explained why Vaan looked so exhausted. He must have done good enough to hide it until now.
There was a sign of being impressed. If it wasn’t so depressing that he thought he had to keep it so tight to his chest. That he couldn’t say anything. What did he think Balthier might say about it? That he’d criticize him for having bad dreams? How pathetic an Alpha would be to have to do that? He had seen many a pathetic Alpha, so it wouldn’t surprise him in the least.
“…So what did you do every night? I didn’t hear you once.” The water filled the cups as he let it steep, fingers gripping onto the counter as hearing more angered him further. It was unacceptable for him to just ignore an issue as big as this one. He had been suffering for no reason. Balthier could not read Vaan’s mind to figure out what was going through his head in keeping all of this to himself. Not saying a word.
“I laid in bed. Waiting to fall back asleep.”
“And you didn’t bother anyone.”
Vaan just let out a sigh, “I didn’t feel it was important. Not important enough to wake anyone up for. Eventually I’d fall back asleep.” But based on how he spoke, it sounded like that didn’t happen. So Vaan got so little sleep, with nothing to show for it except a constant reminder of his status in life. Unacceptable. He could see Vaan wiping his eyes with his palms in the silence of night, by light of candle, whether to stop tears or to wipe away the tired from his eyes.
Neither were appealing.
“You cannot keep doing this.” Balthier said, a frown crossing his face, “You are not allowed to. You will make yourself sick, or worse.” Worse seemed to already be coming. Vaan could barely stay focused during the day, and looked like he might be sick. It was an awful sight to see. He had told Vaan to take care of himself a few times in the past few days, without knowing that nothing was working.
It made Balthier feel sick to know this.
“How? If I close my eyes, they come back.” Vaan’s words might have had more bite to them if he was not so close to passing out at the table. If the tea went to waste, it would be fine. Balthier could just get more as time went on. Nothing was worth more than making sure his ome- Vaan was okay. Yes, Vaan. His mind had to stay focused on that. He couldn’t be making connections or dots in his head.
But with how he flared up. How his mind riled and rose. He wanted nothing more than to lock him in, and hold him in place. Leaving his mark all over him. He took the deepest of breaths, breathing in his scent, before steeling himself and bringing him back to the matter at hand. Truthfully, the best way to protect him would be to mate him. No Alpha would be able to come between them, and that Vaan would be truly protected both by scent and another person.
But what a horrible Alpha he would be to take advantage of the situation at hand. It was not what was good for Vaan in these times. How awful it was to be dealing with this and to have an Alpha try and take advantage of it for protection. It was something his instincts would always want to do. But he was not an Alpha for Vaan to be scared of. He wanted to be a home, a comfort, a safety.
So, instead, he let out a sigh as he sat down across from Vaan. Handing him the cup, which he held in between his hands almost immediately. The single thing soothing him right now. Balthier took a small sip from his cup before he looked towards Vaan. “You’ll stay in my bed until the nightmares disappear for good.” As straight forward as telling anyone what was for dinner. Because it made sense. “I have the room.”
Vaan looked like he might want to argue. Or that he might want to pass out. His brows furrowed. His eyes narrowed. And Balthier was prepared for something to be said. He would come up with any defence against any argument. He was prepared to not let this slide past him. It was the one solution he could come up with that didn’t involve drastic measures. And the one solution he could come up with in the middle of the night that might get Vaan back to sleep.
It might make Balthier feel better too, though he did not say that part outloud. That was just for him, and him alone.
The silence filled the room back up, minus the breathing that Vaan was doing to keep himself awake. A constant, steady breath. Balthier kept sipping his tea to keep him busy, and to keep his mind from taking over and doing what it craved most of all. He had to be a responsible person here. For Vaan’s sake. His eyes never left Vaan. He felt like he barely blinked. If Vaan left his sight… who knew what might happen from there?
At some point, Vaan just let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead. Clearly not having come up with anything to say back. “…Fine.” Vaan was too tired to do anything but agree. Like Balthier thought. The Vaan he was so used to was not in front of him. Being tired did that to a person. “…No funny business.” He narrowed his eyes at Balthier, who just nodded. None. No funny business was on his mind.
He hoped.
“No funny business.” A promise. He wouldn’t break that promise to Vaan. He didn’t need an Alpha to ruin his trust, to make the nightmares worse. He could be a well behaved Alpha. He had done it this long with Vaan. He could continue to do so. He was certain of that. “You can go to my room. I’ll take care of this.” Holding up his tea cup, so Vaan handed his right to him. Not a drop gone. Warmth over substance. A fair exchange.
“…Thanks.” Vaan said quietly, before standing up and heading away. Leaving Balthier to stand there and breathe on his own, before snuffing out the candle. His eyes turned to the door and waited until the footsteps, and smell, were far enough away that he felt secure in being alone. Letting himself breathe and take it all in.
This was a mistake. This had to be a mistake he was doing, and he was not letting himself stop it from happening. A single Alpha and a single Omega sharing a bed. It was begging for trouble. It was screaming for Vaan to go into heat. Being so close in such tight quarters to an Alpha for too long, and Vaan’s body would have no choice but to go into heat.
So this was all too selfish. But Vaan needed something to fix him, or he would go into heat in the worst way, with how his body was barely keeping itself afloat, and his system was starting to go into overdrive. And then what would happen? An Alpha that was even less trustworthy? Or worse. Vaan’s nightmares coming true. He couldn’t let that Balthier poured the teas out, and wished he had something harder to drink instead.
A bad idea, but so was everything else.
After he had taken another deep breath and let his body relax, he headed to his bedroom. The door was partially open, and he could see Vaan in the middle of the bed. He could tell he was naked. And what an awful thought he had to push down. Shaking his head, he slowly undressed himself and pushed everything aside to pretend it didn’t exist. No. He was a friend… helping another friend. And not an Alpha helping himself to the delicious Omega in front of him.
That reminder stayed in his head as he moved into bed and slowly climbed in beside Vaan. Who was already passed out. Him being tired had properly caught up to him. But they wouldn’t know if it worked until the morning. Even if he slept through the night, the nightmares could keep coming. And only making things worse. So Balthier would say nothing. He would not do anything to Vaan, except climb in beside him.
The unfortunate thing about the bed was that there was not enough room if Vaan took over the middle for Balthier to not be touching him. He tried to keep it minimal. He tried to curb his mind to not wrap himself around him and protect him in that way. Instead he let his hip touch Vaan’s body and got himself comfortable. Sleep came easily to him, though perhaps not as easy as it had for Vaan.
And hopefully, he could sleep through the night, without his thoughts running through his mind.
He could only hope he didn’t dream tonight. If he dreamed of Vaan at all, it would be all over for him. Then again, he was fairly certain it was already all over for him.
Balthier was ruined.