Chapter Text
Five minutes and twenty seven seconds.
It took five minutes and twenty seven seconds for Sonic's two sentence long social media post to get on national news.
What two sentences could possibly reach so much traction so quickly, you ask?
‘catching feelings is so stupid. like i just wanna eat my chilli dog why am i day dreaming ab them’
Of course, a large majority of the population immediately jumped to speculation. Every single lifeform the hero had interacted with had been taken into consideration. Even those who weren't fans of the blue blue were curious about who the celebrity’s affections belonged to. Articles were written in record time, and internet servers crashed with the stress the ensuing discord put on the system.
Sonic was well aware of the impact of his vague wording, if his next post had anything to say.
‘yall ate that up omg. to everyone saying they wanna hear more… you just gotta be patient ;)’
This game the hero set up lasted for weeks, with the celebrity dropping the faintest hints of his other half’s identity. He denied everything when asked in person, so all the speculative had was his trail of digital crumbs. The public was ready to burst at the seams, as they were only given one more clue by the fourth month.
A perfectly cropped screenshot of a text exchange. The names, profile photo and even timestamps were excluded, no other details other than the text shared were shown. The caption to the photo was a simple “peak romance <3” from Sonic.
I love you sometimes.
*all the time
don't u hate auto correct
I don't make mistakes.
The last text was deliberately cropped halfway through, but fans undoubtedly read it correctly. Every pixel was analyzed thoroughly and with much much more attention than necessary. Four internet servers were lost that day, and many more crashed.
The hype died down after a few weeks, and now all the public had to do was wait for more breadcrumbs.
Chapter 2
Summary:
"my type is someone who can keep up with me lol... or at least thinks they can :)”
Notes:
the “link” you'll see in a moment doesn't actually do anything btw
Chapter Text
"my type is someone who can keep up with me lol... or at least thinks they can :)”
Last night, the social post above was written by our favorite hero, Sonic the Hedgehog, and I'm about to tell you why it's a big deal.
Four months ago, Sonic the Hedgehog made a social media post indicating that he had “caught feelings” for an individual, though he was purposely vague. Since then, over several weeks, the only mention of the hero’s lover was a screenshot of a text exchange that you can see below.
I love you sometimes.
*all the time
don't u hate auto correct
I don't make mistakes
[Image id: a text exchange between two individuals. They are saying, "I love you sometimes. "*all the time. don't u hate auto correct." "I don't make mistakes."]
Meaning, this post is the third time Sonic has ever mentioned his mysterious lover.
Of course, everyone has their theories and speculations, so let's go over the three most popular hypotheses.
Amy Rose
This topic has been talked about over and over, so I'm not going to keep beating a dead horse and keep this short. Whenever our hero's love life is a topic of discussion, Amy Rose is a name that gets brought up faster than the blue blur himself. It's no secret how she literally and figuratively throws herself at Sonic, could it be that Sonic had returned her affections this whole time?
Rouge the Bat
Rouge is a name not quite commonly heard when discussing possible partners for the Hero of Mobius, but you'd be surprised with how much evidence of a potential bond you'd find if you looked.
Only recently, this security camera footage from a small restaurant called Meh Burger was leaked. Unfortunately, no audio is available, but the footage clearly showed only Rouge and Sonic sharing a meal together. Could this have been a secret relationship this whole time? What would happen if our hero did end up running around with a known thief? Unfortunately, due to the bat’s secretive nature, we may never know.
Knuckles the Echidna
I know, I was shocked as well when I noticed Knuckles was the third most mentioned potential partner. The reason he is on this list is because many fans noticed which pronouns Sonic used when discussing his lover: they/them. As far as we know, no one in Sonic's close circle goes by those pronouns, so it's allegedly believed that the hedgehog is using them to hide the gender of his lover because he is male. Why Knuckles? Why, he's one of Sonic's oldest friends, is it really hard to believe some feelings might not get picked up along the way?
That's all speculation, however. In reality, we haven't got the slightest clue who stole our hero's heart. Only time may tell.
Chapter 3
Summary:
betrayed by my own baby brother :((
|
I SAID I'm fine with you two dating, just don't do any gross stuff in front of me.
|
we were holding hands???
Chapter Text
Sonic's mystery lover saga continues, with a new addition to the cast!
To refresh your memory, because it has been a while, the last time our hero stopped being hush-hush about his beloved was three months ago (read our last article on the subject). Many, many reporters dashed to the speedster’s close circle for juicy details, but they were all tight lipped about the situation.
Until today.
Two hours ago, not only did Sonic throw us a breadcrumb, so did the boy genius himself, Miles “Tails” Prower.
betrayed by my own baby brother :((
|
I SAID I'm fine with you two dating, just don't do any gross stuff in front of me.
|
we were holding hands???
[Image id: A screenshot of an exchange between Sonic the Hedgehog and Miles "Tails" Prower taken from Sonic's social media. They are saying, "betrayed by my own baby brother :((" "I SAID I'm fine with you two dating, just don't do any gross stuff in front of me.” "we were holding hands???"]
This exchange gives us two pieces of information to work with. One, the kit is aware and familiar with Sonic's partner. Two, their relationship status. They're still at the dating stage, but it must seem pretty serious if Sonic is willing to tell the general public about his little secret.
Fans have been flooding the kit’s social media about his adoptive brother's partner, but no words about the stranger were spoken after that post. In fact, he seems to be ignoring them all together, raising the tension further.
Speculation of the identity of said partner is still largely the same, because no new information was given to us from the post above.
Unfortunately, the usually loud and brash hero is pretty good at keeping a secret when he wants to, so this article is shorter than we'd like to be. We'll see you again the next time we get crumbs thrown our way.
Chapter 4
Summary:
"true love is when they threaten you to a fist fight. wdym you can't wait to get your hands on me??"
Chapter Text
What is true love? Is it when you're both drinking the same milkshake from two different straws? Is it that fluttering feeling in your chest as you see them?
Well, according to Sonic The Hedgehog. . .
true love is when they threaten you to a fist fight. wdym you can't wait to get your hands on me??
[Image id: A screenshot of a social media post by Sonic the Hedgehog. It says, "true love is when they threaten you to a fist fight. wdym you can't wait to get your hands on me??"]
Yes, friends, our hero has graced us, after two weeks, with another hint about his secret relationship.
This particular post stirred up some drama this time around. Thousands of fans that were hellbent on believing that Amy or Rouge had Sonic's interest are switching to Knuckles’ side, others are adding more names to the list of suspects.
Sonic has tussled with many foes and friends before, so taking into account every fight he's been in is near impossible, but the Internet is both crazy and determined. Our updated list, from most popular to least least popular potential partners, goes as so:
- Knuckles the Echidna
- Amy Rose
- Rouge the Bat
- Jet the Hawk
- Blaze the Cat
Despite having little to no information, others have begun to show concern at the implications of violence in the social media post, stating that the relationship Sonic is in cannot be healthy if it started (or, as the post implies, continues) with violent interactions. Sonic has yet to respond to these concerns.
Chapter Text
After being starved for two and a half months, fans are finally being fed their once in a lifetime snip of Sonic's love life. This time, straight from one of his dates!
In case you're unaware, because it has been too long, nearly ten months ago, popular hero and celebrity Sonic the Hedgehog made a social media post hinting he may have a potential partner. Ever since then, the only indication of this mysterious lover was a handful of vague posts scattered over nearly a year.
The newest hint of the hero's relationship was shared with us this morning, as shown below.
emo ahh date
Image failed to load.
[image id: a blurry picture of a storefront called “Hot Topic” taken from Sonic the Hedgehog’s social media page. A thumb is covering part of the image. The caption says, “emo ahh date”]
As far as we know, the only one in Sonic's close circle that has any alternative tastes is Rouge. She also doesn't hide the fact that she shops at the store mentioned above, which moves her name further up our list.
However, a keen eyed fan and Hot Topic shopper took a look at a recent sighting of Shadow the Hedgehog and noticed a familiar (to her) bracelet on his wrist, and reverse searching determined it was indeed from the store. Many people rejected the idea of Shadow being involved with our hero in that way, but many also added Shadow’s name to the potential candidate list.
Now the majority of the public is divided into three main groups, for the three main suspects: Amy, Rouge and Shadow.
Notes:
thx to whoever requested this for reigniting my love for hot topic
Chapter 6
Summary:
"romance ain't dead but these badnicks are"
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
You've probably heard of the phrase ”love is a battlefield”, but have you ever heard of “love on the battlefield”?
The second phrase seems to apply to Sonic the Hedgehog, if his latest post about his secret partner says anything.
romance ain't dead but these badnicks are
Image failed to load.
[Image id: A social media post taken from Sonic the Hedgehog’s social media page. In the background, a large Eggman base, tarnished and destroyed beyond recognition. In the middle ground, hundreds of discarded and broken badniks in a forest clearing. On the far left in the foreground, two hands, dirty with motor oil, holding each other with their fingers intertwined. The caption is, “romance ain't dead but these badnicks are”]
We've gotten one major hint with this post: whoever our hero is dating is part of Team Sonic. This takes Jet the Hawk, Blaze the Cat, Rouge the Bat, Knuckles the Echidna (because of the gloves) and Shadow off our list. Our main suspect, again, is now Amy Rose.
Unfortunately for us, the image above is again perfectly cropped, not a single strand of identifying fur, feathers or scale is visible. No one so far is able to make out any details from the stranger's hand except for the fact it's a leather glove.
Another important fact to add is the timing of this post. At first, Sonic would wait months to drop a hint for us. Recently, it's been weeks. However, in this instance, this post was only given to us two days after his last one. Could it be that our hero is getting as impatient as us now? Will we be gaining more clues closer together from now on?
Notes:
someone pls help me, im kinda new to this, how do u add a drawing onto ao3 on mobile 😭
Chapter 7
Summary:
"new drip🔥"
"dating someone dark n mysterious is so fun until u wanna get them a gift"
Chapter Text
We got two clues in one day today, folks!
To briefly recap: ten days ago, Sonic the Hedgehog posted the first sneak peek of his secret lover, holding hands as they stood proud in front of hundreds of badniks and a decimated Eggman base.
That was the day the rumors of Sonic's partner being imaginary, non-existent or Knuckles stopped, due to the fact that was the only time we were given photo evidence of this mysterious partner and the fact that the echidna’s hands do not line up with the one in the photo.
Until today (regarding the first argument).
The first clue we received earlier today was the hero posting a selfie of himself, showing off his stylish new windbreaker, but many fans noticed a not so subtle detail in the photo.
new drip🔥
Image failed to load.
[Image id: A social media post taken from Sonic The Hedgehog’s social media page. It is a mirror selfie. The left side of his body is cut out of the picture. Sonic holds a phone up to cover the bottom half of his face, his other arm is extended to show his jacket’s sleeve. There is a leather glove holding his right hip. The caption is, “new drip🔥”]
Yes, you see that wandering hand correctly (quite the grip, I might add). Again and unfortunately, many rounds of thoroughly inspecting the image has led us to yet another dead end.
Our second clue is, yet again, another text post.
dating someone dark n mysterious is so fun until u wanna get them a gift
[Image id: A social media post taken from Sonic The Hedgehog's social media page. It says, “dating someone dark n mysterious is so fun until u wanna get them a gift”]
There are very few friends Sonic has interacted with that fit the description of “dark and mysterious”, and even less so that are currently in Central City where Sonic is. Due to their proximity, we have two suspects now: Espio the Chameleon and Rouge the Bat.
Chapter 8
Notes:
sorry i disappeared my home country and the country i live in are on the brink of war with their neighbors
Chapter Text
Folks, I think we have reached the end of Sonic the Hedgehog’s mystery lover saga.
Half an hour ago, the blue blur posted an image on social media of his meal at a high end restaurant. However, his meal wasn't the only one on the table.
Image failed to load.
[Image id: A photo of a plate of tacos and a bowl of spaghetti taken from a bird’s eye view. There is a glove with a pink heart next to the bowl of spaghetti. The caption is, “@RougeTheBat <3”]
Image failed to load.
[Image id: A screenshot of a comment from social media by the user @ShineBrightLikeADiamond. The comment says, “<3”]
Could this be it? After nearly a year of waiting, is this the finale we were yearning for?
Unfortunately, the answer is no.
Space boy <3
Why the hell do they think you're dating Rouge?
4:27 PM
[Image id: A screenshot of a image post from Sonic the Hedgehog's social media. The image is a screenshot of a text message from a contact named ‘space boy <3’. The message says, “Why the hell do they think you're dating Rouge?”]
Rouge, along with Amy and Blaze, are now officially off the list, and we have uncovered a new detail about Sonic's partner, his gender.
The population is split about this new piece of information. The majority of people are supportive of the hero's identity, few are indifferent and lots of others are extremely upset about this development. Within less than an hour, the follower count for the hero's social media has gone down one forth, and seems to only continue. Nasty messages are being left on unrelated posts from the hero, and many hundreds of headlines have already been released.
Sonic has not responded to the homophobia as of right now, but we'll keep you updated.
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