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“Another round Peralta? Starting to look like a soggy bastard, am I gonna have to set you up by my toilet again?”
Johnnie was busy buffing glasses with a dish towel as he observed the younger man through the corner of his eye. Jake had become a regular these last couple of months. Mostly he came in with guys Johnnie knew, but sometimes Jake would turn up alone to down more than he could soak up. Johnnie had heard things, he knew the mob, and he knew they didn’t just let anyone in, most of the boys had been in his bar drinking before it was legal, he’d always figured Jake was some distant cousin who’d moved to New York recently.
“Nope.” Jake enthused, downing the rest of his whisky, and subsequently descending into a short, violent coughing fit. “I’m 100% totally feeling amazing and sober right now.” He said in a croaky tone once he recovered, waving his hand wildly in a dismissive fashion
“Uh huh.” Johnnie responded, unconvinced. He wondered what had the kid so down on himself. Come to think of it Johnnie had always got that vibe from Jake. The guy was engaging and funny but there were these moments where he just zoned out completely, like he’d just realised he might have left his cooker on or something.
“Tonight, I am a stallion.” Jake announced loudly, eyelids drooping a little.
“Sure Champ.” Johnnie just went along with it, slamming another drink down in front of him.
Jake held up his head with one hand, elbow propped up against the bar, trying to manoeuvre the alcohol into his mouth sideways.
“You know,” Johnnie began, sliding the newly washed glasses onto the shelf under the bar, "those of us behind the stick get pretty used to having lads like you spill their sorrows to us. Got a tale to tell me Jake? …Bet it’s a girl, ain’t it?”
Jake’s head shot up, wide awake now, “How did you do that? Are you a mind reader?” He seemed to deflate a bit, “... Am I just super obvious?”
“Son, you might as well have it tattooed on your forehead.”
“Who knows, if I get drunk enough. Do you think I should go with ‘I’m in love with a girl who’s probably gonna marry a guy called Teddy’ or ‘I’m in the mafia and she’s a cop, could I be any more obvious.’?”
Johnnie looked up slowly from the glass he was polishing; he didn’t know where to start with that.
Jake took another swig of his drink, “I think the first one, it’s less incriminating… but the latter is so lyrical.”
Johnnie opened his mouth to say something, brow furrowed.
Jake held up a finger, “No, you’re right, they’re both too long they’d never be big enough on my forehead for strangers to really get the full effect. Maybe I should shave my head and put it on the back? Nah, I already have like… no eyebrows, I’d look weird.”
“She’s a cop? How’d that happen?” Johnnie chuckled to himself, “Actually, no, I see how being pushed to the ground and handcuffed by a cute doll could get a guy’s motor running.”
Jake recoiled a little, “Ew. What? No. I used to be a cop too, man.”
“You serious? You used to be a pig. Damn, Jake, I was beginning to like you.”
“Thanks?” Jake responded quizzically. “Anyway, that’s all in the past; I got very fired, like super fired, you would not believe how fired I was.” He laughed nervously, clearing his throat, “Then I got ‘fired’ up and called my co-workers pigs and my Captain a butt muncher. Not my best line. I mean, who even says that?”
Johnnie shrugs, still gripping the towel though he was too distracted to continue clearing up, “You gonna tell me about the girl or not? She got a name?”
“Amy. I was partnered with her for years; she was awful.” Jake looked truly pained now.
“I thought you said you love this girl?” Johnnie silently topped up Jake’s glass. The guy was slurring his speech just a little now.
“Oh, yeah, but she was a pain in my ass. Like a thousand freaking daggers to the cheeks every single day of my life, you know. Totally by the book, and yet, for some reason ...that kinda got me going.”
“You got a thing for nerds Jake, that’s cute.” Johnnie eyes glinted with humour as he leant up against the bar.
“Hey, well, yes she is that. She’s also… like…” Jake motioned to his whole body, cheeks slightly flushed, either from the alcohol or embarrassment, “nice looking.”
“She a blonde? You seem like a blondes kinda guy.”
“What does that even…? Actually, never mind and no. Petite, dark haired, Cuban, really cute nose and eyes that scrunched up when she laughed at me.” Jake adverted his gaze, gulping, realising how pathetic he’d just sounded and how much spending months away from Amy was affecting him. The he melted into his drink. “I never thought I‘d fall for a woman who organises her wardrobe using five different categories.” He murmured to himself. “And now she’s with Teddy. What sort of name is Teddy anyway? Ugh.”
Johnnie quirked an eyebrow, “You got it bad Peralta.”
“Yeah.” Jake smiled a tried not to look as broken as he felt, “Another round please, Good Sir. I think another two should be sufficient to numb me completely.”
An hour later Jake had one arm around Johnnie and another around the barmaid Elsie as they dragged him into a side room.
“Colour, function, fabric, season… I’ve forgotten one category. Johnnie. Johnnie, what’s the other one? Elsie, what’s the other one?”
The girl shot a pitying look behind Jake’s back to her boss.
“Sleep on it Kid.” Johnnie advised, guiding Jake to the old leather couch pushed up against the back wall.
Jake smiled as he fell backward onto the cushions, lightly shoved into place by the bartender. “Hm, you’re strong. Oh, formality. Yeah. That’s the doozy.” He mused as he settled down on his side.
Johnnie crouched by Jake’s head and began to stuff a pillow underneath it whilst Elsie fetched a bottle of water.
“Hey. I like the blue shirt the best.” Jake’s eyes were half closed as he spoke quietly, “She buttons it pretty far up and ties back her hair. Rosa caught me staring once. She just had such a tiny waist, you know? I was just thinking, wondering, ‘could I wrap my hands all the way round? Maybe.”
“No.” Johnnie said bluntly, trying not to laugh out loud at Jake’s dopey grin as Elsie arrived with the water.
“Would have been nice to get a try it though… just once.” Jake whispered, eyes closed now.
“Sweet dreams.” Johnnie said patting Jake’s shoulder, getting up and following Elsie to the door.
“One day… I’m gonna kiss her.” Jake whispered, sprawled out on his front now, his cheek comically squished up against the pillow, eyes shut.
Johnnie knew he wouldn’t remember one word of this, “Good luck Kid.”