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Hange was truly something else, knowing exactly what would trigger this little man's killing instincts. Levi had killed humans before joining the Scouts, and according to her research, he was far more inclined to use his skills on titans because they were more challenging. Of course, he preferred opponents who could match his strength and make him break a sweat. She had known Levi for so long that she could confidently believe he would never going to kill her. And god, she ate his threats for breakfast, but not once did he lay a finger on her. He was too smart to kill someone valuable to the Survey Corps. 

Until... 

Something must have set off that little bomb he's been keeping dormant for the time being. 

And today, Hange was the very first victim of its blast as Levi was pinning her down on the lab table. She saw hell in his eyes. Those stormy orbs were strikingly sharp and narrowed--cutting through her soul as if she were a titan who'd kiss his blades. Hange's mouth hung agape with erratic breathing. She swallowed hard, biting her lip. Does he seriously want to hurt her? And if he were, could she even fight back?

Twenty seconds. Thirty. Forty.

A full minute into their intense staring contest, Levi remained tight and composed. That’s when Hange--on the verge of death suddenly realized--damn, his eyes were the most stunning shade of steel blue. Mesmerized, she briefly forgot her current predicament: lying beneath a comrade who looked like he has decided to butcher her. Nonetheless, her eyes softened behind her glasses. This was Levi being unfairly attractive during an attempted murder and she was ogling him like she couldn't wait to die.

Which creeped Levi out.

He was expecting his intimidation to work, however, when Hange's lips were pulled into her trademark shit-eating grin, Levi manhandled her and brought her face much closer to his. 

Too close, their noses touched.

Hange's breath hitched.

"Ahem..."

If Mike Zacharias's sense of smell wouldn't leave anything undetected, so was his presence.

Levi shoved Hange back to the table. That violent release sent her hissing in a pained yelp.

"Oh, I could hear bones breaking," Mike chuckled. "Isn't that a little too rough, Levi?"

Levi clicked his tongue soundly, stepping back and crossing his arms. Hange pushed herself up from the table and cracked her neck.

"Ugh. I told you to be gentle. This is my first time, remember?" Hange quipped, one eye closed.

Levi shot her a glare. "What the actual fuck?!"

Mike laughed, raising his arms in surrender. "Someone's sadistic fantasies took over? Sorry for walking in."

Levi's face glowed red. "Are you even thinking I'm gonna fuck her?!"

"Eh? I thought you two were going to kiss," Mike jeered. "Maybe I was too early to have caught you guys in a foreplay."

"Fucking hell. If you only used your nose rather than your eyes. You got it all wrong," Levi spat. "I was just about to kill her."

"Oh Mike, thanks for saving me!" Hange interjected dramatically. "Who would have thought?! Humanity's Smartest was a goner and that should render Paradis close to extinction! Levi told me he's gonna fuck me senseless for twenty-four hours. Can you imagine that?!"

"You sure you want my blades sticking up your ass for twenty-four hours?" Levi fumed.

"Oh, do you mean that glorious thing beneath your pants?" Hange jested.

"In your fucking dreams!" Levi growled.

"Well, that's enough dirty talk now, lovers," Mike interrupted. "Can you resume your--well--activities for later? I need to talk to you, Levi." 

"What the hell for?"

Mike rolled his eyes towards Hange. "We didn't need an audience."

Levi looked at Hange and barked, "Out now, four-eyes!"

"Hey! This was my lab! If someone has the right to kick you two outside, that would be me!" Hange pointed out.

"We don't have any place to talk, shithead. And I certainly don't want to be seen by those stupid soldiers talking behind my back!" Levi said. "If you were really concerned about me like you were saying earlier, you let me use this stinky lab of yours or I'd be back to killing humans and you'd be the very first casualty again in years!"

"Chill, short stuff! Fine! Fine! You can use my lab but just for today! I have so many pending experiments and research piled up for next week's military forum!" Hange exclaimed. "Ooohhh! The brass will be throwing more questions and I have to justify my findings about the titans--"

"Shut up now," Levi grabbed her arm roughly and led her to the door. "Talking to Mike won't even take up a whole day, idiot."

He pushed Hange outside and slammed the door. God knows what happened to her after she stumbled and smacked face-first into the opposite wall.

Mike was already seated on a stool when Levi turned around, cross-legged with a very unamused face. "Sorry for the interruption by the way."

"You saved her life," Levi snapped. "Now what are we gonna talk about in secret like we're going to slay the pigs in the military tonight?" 

Mike snorted. "What's with the mood? Look, if you want to get the tension build-up off, we can talk some other time."

"Mike-fucking-Zacharias, I don't have all day! Spit the fuck out."

"Fine!" Mike said, arms raised. "Well, I was just about to ask a favor if you can train a few of my squad by next week. Also some new recruits for disciplinary training. I’m taking my leave to visit my family." 

"Not a prob,” Levi sighed. "And what do I get in return?"

Mike laughed, knowing any favor from Levi doesn't come for free.  "A month-supply of premium tea?"

Levi gave him a lop-sided smile. "Deal."

Mike hummed in satisfaction, then slightly leaned forward with his elbows propped on his knees. "Actually, I also think I have a question that is worth asking. About what I've witnessed earlier."

"Witnessed what?"

"Goddess of the walls, Levi! What's that thing between you and Hange?!"

Levi's mind blanked out. "W-what?!"

"Did I just walk in on you?"

Levi exhaled loudly. "Mike, you witnessed a fucking failed murder attempt!"

"Doesn't look like it."

"We're both dressed."

"Some people loved doing it fully-clothed. It's sexier."

"Mike!" Levi boomed. "Do you even want to take this conversation seriously?!"

Mike laughed out loud. "Levi! Take it easy! But seriously man, why do you want to hurt her?"

"Don't you know?"

"That's why I'm asking you a question in the first place," Mike stated matter-of-factly.

"I mean... don't you hear the fucking rumors going around? Are you even using that nose of yours?" Levi gesticulated wildly.

"My nose detects only the interesting events. Why? Is there anything my nose missed?!" Mike asked. "So there's gossip in the Survey Corps involving Hange?"

"No. She's the source. The bearer of the most fucked-up news in history."

"And you want to hurt her for that reason? That must be interesting."

Levi's bereaved look launched itself like a spear through Mike's soul.  "Tell me what's interesting about those motherfucking soldiers--the new recruits and the old-timers--spreading news about me." 

Mike's mouth hung open with heightening interest. “You? And….”

"Being..." Levi trailed off.

"What?!"

"Gay."

Levi said the big word a little too softly for Mike's liking. Too soft it almost sounded like an explosive confession. Time stopped between the two of them in silence—equalled by measured movements. Mike's face fell like he received the most devastating news of his life next to a hundred soldiers' deaths. The taller man leaned back against the chair, giving Levi the empathy of a heart-broken father rather than a scrutinizing comrade.

"Levi, listen. Nothing's wrong with being gay," Mike said gently, easing his way to Levi's vulnerability in times of identity crisis. "People can be what they want to be. Or maybe in your case, you just discovered it a little late because being a soldier takes so much of our time—preventing us to reassess our feelings towards people of the same gender. It's okay. I think the military doesn't give a shit about gender orientations. You're a valuable soldier and your strength is unmatchable. That alone wouldn’t be an issue if your innate strength saves humanity more than rediscovering your identity..."

"Mike..." Levi's deep voice vibrated against the walls in a surrounding timbre. His eyes went dark like a bottomless void. His lips curled into a violent wave that could swallow a whole island. His fists balled like they were going to smash the walls of Rose, Maria, and Sina. "Do you... even think... that I was gay?"

Mike stopped, swallowing his spit. That face Levi is sporting right now is similar to seeing titans mauling their comrades.

"I repeat," Levi said again, sounding like an underworld's gatekeeper. "Do I look like gay to you?!"

Mike swallowed a nonexistent spit this time. He uncrossed his legs and brought his hands together as if to block an incoming attack. "Uh--is there a standard for looking gay? Like, there were closeted folks out there. Wait. So, it's not true?"

"There's no fucking truth to that!" Levi roared. "Unbelievable, Mike. So if I tell you all the guys in the military are dick-suckers, would you believe me without any basis?!"

"Basis. Well, of course! Because it usually depends on the person's credibility. You're not one to lie so I'd believe you. So you can't blame me if I got swayed right away because doesn't every rumor in the Survey Corps always come out as the truth?" Mike pointed out.

"That's the fucking problem! This was the very first time the rumor was false! I swear to my mother's grave that her only son doesn't have any identity crisis going on! Whoever's tainting my hard-earned reputation in the Survey Corps must have been very desperate to die! I'd give them that. Heads will roll. Literally!" Levi declared threateningly.

"Whoah! Hold your shit together! Maybe you've made new enemies for them to spread false information like that. So how did Hange find out? "

"Hange told me that she heard rumors last night at the mess hall. She overheard a group of drunken new recruits, wondering about my sexuality. She even heard them laughing over a topic about me hooking up with the Commander!"

Mike choked. "E-Erwin?"

"It said someone saw us in Erwin's office. I... I...it was implied I was sucking--"

"Okay, stop. You don't need to go there," Mike said, disgusted. "Call me when you want to bury a body tonight. God, that was insane! Utterly disturbing! You and the commander? Erwin of all people?!"

"I don't know if the news reached Erwin yet," Levi said. "I don't even remember coming to his office alone! Or if I do, I was just gonna hand him some documents! If there was a person who comes to his office often and hangs around longer than intended, that would be you or Hange!"

"Yeah, yeah! You don't need to justify that. I get it now where you're coming from. If someone dares to loop me into a nasty rumor mill and misgender me, then all hell breaks loose. I'd butcher them like I mean it!" Mike said exaggeratedly. "We must do something, Levi! It's not just about you, it's also about Erwin! Don't let this get to the brass. Truth or not, they're gonna test our patience and the last thing we want is to feed them to the titans."

"I know," Levi agreed. "Those pigs love false entertainment, especially if it involves the Survey Corps commander."

"But... you don't need to hurt Hange because of that. If you said she's the one who told you, should you be thanking her?" Mike wondered.

"I just lost my cool because she's accusatory," Levi said. "She straight up asked me what Erwin tastes like."

Mike chuckled. "Seriously?"

Levi nodded with an eye roll. "And then asked me nonchalantly if I like guys?! You have no idea how I wanna tear her birdsnest-of-a-hair off her scalp!"

"Oh, then maybe I shouldn't have stopped you from killing her," Mike said jokingly. "Hange's a loose cannon. And a little twisted."

"I want to twist her for real. Cut her clean for all I care. Thank god I don't have my blades around."

"But, I see you’re still a gentleman, though."

"Huh?"

"You have every means to kill her using your bare hands but you didn't. And you let your face too close to her personal space. Anyone would think you and Hange were about to..." 

A shiver went up Levi's spine, followed by a shade of red dawning over his face. "Don't. Just don't. You ever want to see the sunrise tomorrow?"

"Fine. You’re not gay." Mike smiled knowingly. "You're a full-blooded man!"

Of fucking course. Levi thought, recalling how beautiful Hange's brown eyes were as they stared at him questioningly.

"He's not gay," Hange muttered under her breath in a mixture of joy and relief. She was rubbing a fresh bump on her forehead after Levi sent her stumbling straight to a wall across the door to her lab. The pain didn't matter for some reason. "Levi's not gay."

She was squealing internally at that thought. Her discovery was much more worthy than finding out the newest information about titans. She was even glad to confirm from Levi himself that the rumor around the mess hall was possibly a made-up story. 

"Hange?" someone called from behind.

Hange twisted around in a playful manner and saw Nanaba jogging towards her, a pile of laundry under her arm. "Nana!"

Nanaba was first to notice Hange's growing red bump on her forehead. "That looks ripe for the picking."

Hange sheepishly covered her forehead with her palm. "Shit happens. I was just being pushed out of my lab and crashed into a wall." 

"I would guess shit happens to... Levi?"

Hange nodded with a huge smile.

Nanaba frowned thoughtfully. "Levi could cut all your limbs off and you'd still be smiling like a maniac. What's up with that?"

Hange looked at Nanaba dreamily. "Hey... have you... like... seen Levi up-close? I mean, have you stared at that smooth, flawless, stubble-free poreless skin? His thin but luscious, lickable lips? Those stormy grey eyes with blue specks on them? And don't forget how intoxicating his minty breath smells when you're inches away from him. Oh god, Nana! Encountering Levi up-close was like approaching heaven!"

Nanaba just stood there, jaw dropped. "Likely. Whoever comes up close with Levi will meet heaven--or likely hell within a second. And you're doing it every single time. I'm quite surprised you're still alive up to this day."

Hange hastily grabbed Nanaba's arm and dragged her into her room--the pieces of fabrics scattering all over the floor.

"The hell, Hange?!" 

"Nana! Hey, hey," Hange shushed her childishly. "I have something to tell you! The news about Levi wasn't true!"

"News? What news?"

"Didn't you hear about the rumors going around about Erwin and Levi hitting it off? Like they were secretly meeting in the commander's office doing some... steamy stuff. If you know what I mean."

Nanaba scrunched her forehead. "Steamy stuff? I... Is there such a thing? And if it's about the captain and the commander, that was something to be addressed right away before it reaches the higher-ups."

"You didn't know about it because it only revolves around the new recruits. And I'm sure as hell it reached some of the veterans as well."

"News hasn't reached me yet. Wow, that's just too much, though. So has anybody dared to tell Levi and Erwin?"

"I did tell Levi earlier and this is what I got." Hange pointed at her bump.

"He could've done worse," Nanaba drawled.

"Yeah. I feel bad for him." Hange curled her lips. "Just imagine the idea of Humanity's Strongest having a thing for men. And he didn't take it lightly. He was so mad that he hurled me onto my lab table until Mike walked in, thinking we're about to do something really kinky!"

Nanaba gave Hange a once over, crossing her arms in doubt. "Seriously? Did you crack your skull or something? I've never seen anybody who's about to get beaten up looking that happy. Have you gone insane?"

"I don't know. I was just happy he's not what everybody thinks he is," Hange sang.

Nanaba scoffed. "God. What do I even expect from a crazy person like you?"

Hange winked. "I'm just glad he isn't gay for Erwin."

"And so? What's the big deal? If there was a rumor going around about Levi's sexuality, then why would people care? I believe it shouldn't be an issue in the regiment. Whatever Levi chooses to be, or whatever he is shouldn't affect the Scouts. Besides, should it be his skills that speak for his character? He's an awesome human being who's the reason why we keep surviving this world with the titans."

"Even if the rumor was about an affair with Erwin? Nana, it's the gravity of the situation! We could care less about gender issues--yes--but the main concern is scandalizing the two of the most valuable and highly-respected soldiers in the Survey Corps. It's not fair for both men to be identified with false sexuality," Hange lamented. "Besides, that's gonna reduce Levi's popularity by half."

"So... what are you going to do about it?"

"Hmmm... I can't seem to think of a way just yet. The rumor about them being gays was a lie. So we should counter it with the truth."

"And if it didn't work?"

"Then let's twist the lie."

"Look, can we just tell Erwin all about this? I'm sure he's got better ideas," Nanaba suggested. "Better to reprimand those shameless soldiers for spreading misinformation and drawing entertainment from it."

Hange shook her head in disagreement. "Won't work. Erwin's out of town and he'll be back in a few weeks. I think I can stop the rumors before they reach him. Levi has to help me though."

"Very interesting," Nanaba droned out sarcastically. "Levi to partake in your plans? The chances of him helping you out are slim to none. Just make sure Erwin finds you alive when he returns."

The mess hall that night was crowded again. Soldiers in their civilian clothes were huddled on tables with their drinks and slabs of meat. Hange was standing in one corner, eyes focused on groups with suspicious conversations. Her eyes lit up as she spotted the same group from last night, marching towards their table and shamelessly invading their space. 

"Heya guys! How're you doing?!" Hange brazenly grabbed a tankard of beer sitting on the table and chugged it down. "Mind if I join you?"

A young man stiffened up, too stunned by her intrusion. Hange remembered this guy, Leon, from a squad under Dirk. "Uh--Section Commander Hange. Well, of course you can join us!"

Hange smiled widely. "Wow. The hall's too crowded tonight. I couldn't spot a single vacant seat. Y'know, I keep seeing you every night hanging around here and I thought about joining you because your conversation looks... interesting."

Another guy who Hange recalled as Marshall swallowed down his drink. "H-have you been eavesdropping?"

"Ah, no! No! Of course not! Well you see, I'm a very observant person and among the group of scouts I keep seeing each night, yours caught my attention. You always seemed... happy," Hange said defensively. 

A girl named Linda rolled her eyes. "We're soldiers. We couldn't predict our lives out there. There's nothing wrong with being happy once in a while. The rarity of beer nights was the best. "

"I'm not against it! Trust me, Every single soldier thinks the same. There is no rule that says we should limit ourselves to celebrating life every time we return from a mission alive!" Hange said vivaciously. "And there's certainly no rule that limits us from doing what we want... like... screwing up with anyone we like."

Linda and Marshall burst out laughing.

"Yeah. That was true," Marshall chuckled.

"Oh... you guys were screwing around, huh?" Hange teased.

"No! Of course not," Linda denied. 

Hange's eyes twinkled, deciding it was best to divert the topic. "Hey, has anyone seen Captain Levi around?" 

"Well, he could be anywhere else. In... the Commander's office perhaps?" Leon joked, possibly from his already half-drunken state. His colleagues shushed him.

That was the moment Hange was waiting for. Her eyes narrowed, her body leaning towards the center of the table to get them to listen. "Something funny now?"

Nobody said a word, however, judging by their shaking shoulders to contain their explosive laughter, Hange whispered out loud, "Speaking of which, Erwin was out of town so there's no reason for Levi to hang around in there."

The group gathered closer. All ears.

"Here's what I found out with juicy details. It's no longer a secret around the Survey Corps' high-ranking leaders," Hange whispered. "If you guys aren't aware, part of Erwin's activities when he's out of town was to hook up with women of Mitras. And once he returns in a good mood--looking fresh and invigorated, you already know what happened..." 

Six confused faces stared at Hange.

"Does that mean... our commander hooks up with women?" a girl named Sarah asked in mild surprise.

"What's wrong? Are you expecting he's got other preferences?" Hange asked incredulously. "Like he's got affairs with men?"

That same girl chuckled loudly. "I... I don't know. Our commander wasn't married yet despite his age."

Hange belly-laughed. "And that's conclusive to him being... gay?" 

The group was silenced, nudging each other.

"Well... ?" Hange wriggled her brows. "You can tell me. After all, don't we all love secrets? Look, I've told you Erwin's most-kept secret. He's just a man who has his needs. Commanders--or whoever's among the upper echelons in the military--have a little kinky side to them. No matter how busy and intimidating they look while performing their jobs, they must do some little extra-curricular activities to keep them sane. Erwin's position couldn't afford to have a wife, but he could definitely afford to have a dozen hookers!" 

"But... how..." one guy named Kurt attempted to satiate his curiosity. 

"Hm?" Hange's sharp eyes traveled to him in a cutting gaze. "Do you have something else in mind?"

Kurt shook his head. "N-no!"

With a creepy grin, Hange didn't let him off. "Come on, do I need to know something?"

"Well..." Kurt cleared his throat nervously. "We thought the commander's doing it with the captain."

Hange's face dramatically morphed into shock. "Well... that was... something. And what makes you say that? Have you seen them doing the deed?"

"No but..."

"No evidence at all?" Hange asked disbelievingly.

The guy stuttered. "I-it's... something we just overheard."

"Overheard where?" Hange squinted darkly. So many ideas of threats brimming in her head. "Do you realize how serious that accusation is? Shipping the commander and the captain without solid evidence? That's not just reckless--it's criminal. Much more criminal than a hundred murders. That's a one-way ticket to jail. Or worse--if the captain catches wind of this, you better start packing up your bags 'cause it's a one-way express to hell. He's a former thug in the Underground--just so you know--so don't wake the monster in him."  

"Look, Section Commander Hange, we didn't mean to put it that way... it's just..." Leon tried to console the matter, swallowing hard. 

"Your way to entertain yourselves?!" Hange stood up and planted her hands on the table. "Listen up carefully, kids. Let me get things straight. If you happen to spread rumors about the commander and the captain's relationship in a twisted way and they find out, y'all better leave this town and I'm not kidding!"

"But, the rumors didn't come from us. There was a pub downtown and we overheard it from the MPs," Leon explained.

"That doesn't give you the right to spread whatever information you gathered without confirming if it's a fact or a lie! The Military Police have done that a lot of times and were always jealous of the Scouts. Just because we were beyond skilled with unmatched courage to venture outside the walls makes the MPs a little less recognized," Hange said. "They couldn't even use the ODM gear expertly unless they're from a special elite force. They're just a bunch of soldiers in uniforms and it's nothing to be proud of." 

The group's whitewashed faces nodded in sync.

"Never trust the rumors! Unless you catch the commander and the captain red-handedly! Until then, nothing is ever proven that they have an affair. You understand?" Hange straightened up, putting her hands over her waist. Just in time, a familiar voice snuck up behind her.

"Oi, four-eyes!" 

Hange whipped around to find Levi behind her with a very unamused expression. Arms crossed, he gave Hange the same deadly stare earlier in the laboratory.

"Levi!" Hange exclaimed. "H-how long have you been there? I've been looking for you everywhere!"

Levi's eyes switched to the scouts gathered around the table, looking like they've seen death in the flesh. "What's up with the constipated faces?"

"N-nothing, captain!" the group chorused.

Levi eyed Hange suspiciously. "Are you giving these brats boring lectures about your experiments?"

Hange shook her head, assuming Levi didn't hear her diatribe. "More like, lecture about manners."

She looked back at the table and saw the soldiers murmuring, asserting her narrative didn't convince them at all. She looked at Levi again and formulated a stupid plan. In one swift motion, she pulled his arm and leaned close to his ears.

"Last night was amazing," she whispered within earshot. Her peripherals caught Linda and Marshall snooping nearby.

Levi pulled back his arm with a flushed face. "W-what the fuck is wrong with you now?"

Hange wrapped an arm around Levi to keep him still, her lips brushing against his cheek.

"Are you fucking drunk?!" Levi growled alarmingly.

"Not quite," Hange giggled. "But I'm quite thirsty for you. You have to quench this, shorty. How about your quarters this time?"

"Oi, Hange!" Levi resisted roughly, but Hange wouldn't budge. 

She brought her lips back to Levi's ear. "Just play along, idiot! I'm saving your reputation!"

"Saving what?!"

Hange smiled, albeit a little uncomfortably. "Your room or mine?"

"Stop this shit now, four-eyes!" Levi growled loudly, catching the attention of the whole mess hall. He stepped back furiously, pointing at her. "Are you fucking trying to make a scene?!"

Hange deflated. Levi was very mad by now and she regretted pulling off a ploy that guaranteed a fucked-up outcome. Her head turned around to notice everyone staring in their direction. Out of embarrassment, her eyes welled up in tears.

"Oi, are you crying?!" Levi asked, voice suddenly tinged with concern.

Hange sobbed, "How dare you speak to me like there's nothing between us!"

Levi stared at her blankly, thoughts racing. This crazy woman was scandalous!

"Is that how you treat me now after last night?!" Hange exploded. "I can't believe you, Levi!"

Levi's throat dried up, preventing him from spewing any single curse. He stared in horror at Hange who kept wiping tears away from her eyes. The noise inside the mess hall was reduced to hushed murmurs. More so, the noise penetrated into Levi's ears in a grating fashion.

"I... I hate you!" Hange yelled and walked out on him, storming out of the hall in a crying mess.

Levi was too stunned to speak or move. 

"Well, look now, Captain," a drunk, veteran soldier called out to Levi. "You made a woman cry."

"She's fucking insane," Levi drawled.

"Aren't you going after her?" the mess hall's server asked, chuckling.

"What for? I'd more likely slit her throat because she made a huge scene," Levi said, rolling his eyes. When more and more people gave him an accusatory glare, he marched out of the mess hall in annoyance.

He later found Hange hanging around in the corridors of the sleeping quarters. She was about to run off after seeing him, but he was fast enough to chase her, lunging and almost tackling her onto the floor. He rolled her over, pinned her, straddled her--keeping her in place.

"What the hell was that huh?!" Levi growled, grabbing her collar roughly. 

"L-Levi!" Hange was holding onto his wrists. His strength could snap her bones if she resisted further. Knowing she was no match for him, she laughed miserably.

"You told me to play along with some sort of a fucking scheme. And what for?!" Levi growled.

"Like I said, I'm saving your reputation," Hange gasped, struggling to wrestle herself free. 

"Reputation, my ass."

"Those kids are the ones spreading rumors about you and Erwin, so I tried to set the record straight. They said the MPS are the ones spreading the news."

"Those fucking MPs?" Levi repeated. "Do they have names?"

Hange shook her head. "Nothing was mentioned. And I'm sure they didn't know them personally--whoever those MPs are."

"They want to lose an entire brigade, huh?"

"Levi, you're not gonna slaughter them all, are you?"

"Just visit me in jail. And don't forget to bring me tea."

"Levi! Seriously?!" 

Levi eyed her darkly. Of course, he stopped killing humans after joining the Survey Corps. Hange's wide-eyed reaction amused him. "And then what the fuck is your ploy all about? Are you announcing to the whole world that we're having an affair?!"

"I thought it's fairly acceptable for you to have an affair with me rather than Erwin," Hange said absently. "You know, pick your poison."

"Are you goddamned insane?!" Levi tightened his grip on her collar. "Either way is poison, for fucksake. You and me?! You're not saving my reputation, you're making it worse."

"Levi, it doesn't always have to be the truth. People will pick their facts--truth or not. At least we're trying to make them think you aren't gay," Hange said. "Unless you have better ideas...or... if you're not cool about it, then let them think you really are into men. Do you want people to visualize how you and Erwin fu--" 

"Stop! Why you....?!" 

When faint footsteps sounded at the end of the hallway, both Levi and Hange froze right on the spot. About three people were chattering in a very audible conversation as their voices reverberated off the walls.

"That was quite a scene..."

"So the captain and the section commander have something on between them?"

" Hah! Doubt it..."

" Yeah, it doesn't look convincing at all. The captain looks like he's denying it." 

"Maybe because his affair with Commander Erwin was true. Just look at how rough his treatment with Hange is. Have we even seen him treat the commander the way he treats Hange?"

" But why does Hange act like they already fucked? Was she delusional enough to be announcing something private in front of a crowd?"

"She's crazy--as if that isn't obvious. Half of what she says is purely delusional. I'd bet my ass she's making things up, hence the captain's reaction. He seems disgusted."

"Maybe she's got a thing for the captain."

"As if the captain likes a lunatic..."

Levi listened as the conversation progressed in mere assumptions and unrestrained laughter. He looked back at Hange and contemplated, hauling her off the floor without much effort. 

"Levi, I think we have to go," Hange whispered.

But Levi slammed her back against the wall. "Your efforts are wasted and now, they called you a lunatic."

"Not that I care," Hange said nonchalantly. "That's nothing new. Come on, they're coming."

"You'll let them go just like that?!"

"It's okay. I've been called so many names before. I don't give a damn anymore,"  Hange drawled. "Let me go now, will you?"

"No shit. Not until these motherfuckers lose all of their teeth."

"Hey, wait... are you going to beat them up?" Hange asked in a panic. 

"What else would I do to make them think otherwise? Violence works for the most part," Levi said, turning around as if it was finally time to let his emotions get the best of him. "It's been a while I haven't broken somebody's face. Don't try to stop me."

Hange grabbed his arm to stop him, pulling him in frantically. "Don't! Hey, you'll only make it worse! You can't beat people up just because they're spreading lies. You're better than that, Levi. Know your position and calm the fuck down! Hold on, I have an idea! Better than sending your soldiers into a coma."

Levi raised his brow. "What?"

Hange smiled uncomfortably. "But first, we're gonna let them get closer...."

The next day, Hange was busy in her lab, humming a song under her breath while taking down her research notes. Her lab tools were strewn all over the table, looking like her day had been productive. Her activity was only interrupted by Nanaba bursting inside the room like a hurricane.

"Hange! You need to tell me something!" Nanaba panted, wiping a drop of sweat from her forehead, possibly from running.

Hange smiled softly and went back to her papers.

"Are you even listening?" Nanaba asked incredulously. "This was something big! A rumor you couldn't brush off!"

"Yeah, yeah," Hange drawled. "And what's up, Nana?"

"Now I've been thinking.," Nanaba crossed her arms. "The news hasn't reached you yet, has it?"

"About what?" 

Nanaba smirked. "Last time, you said Levi and Erwin were an item. Now, it was you and Levi. Ah, rumors these days..."

"Oh! Interesting. And what is it this time? What's between me and Levi?" Hange asked coolly, taking a specimen and placing it under a microscope. "I assume it's spicier than Erwin's."

"Spicy? Look, it was implied that you two were caught making out in the corridors of the sleeping quarters last night," Nanaba said. "This is crazy! Why would these folks make up stories involving the captain a lot?!" 

"Oh well, I learned that the 'Erwin-Levi affair' was made up by drunken MPs. I tell you, it's completely untrue. Well, as for me and Levi, I guess that's another story that shouldn't have leaked out," Hange droned out.

"What do you mean?"

"I suppose it's true."

Nanaba exploded, "What?!"

Hange snickered, and in a blushing mess, she resumed writing her notes. "Who would've thought? The captain's a good kisser."

"You don't say..." Nanaba rolled her eyes. "Hey, did you just pull off a plan--wait... it was your plan all along!"

"What? Plan or not, Levi took the bait. Plus, I'm still alive," Hange snorted. "Maybe he liked it. Though it didn't extend into something else... like... spending the night in his room? I would love to." 

"I need to process this," Nanaba said, a little disturbed for words. "You are a goner, you know that?"

"Look at me, Nana! You are talking to flesh and bones. Levi didn't kill me. That's what everybody would think, right? But last night had been different. I'm alive and I'll make sure I'd live in the next few days." 

Nanaba cocked her head. "I don't know but... it was just too hard to believe you. A theory about flying titans might convince me more than a rumor about you and Levi making out. The closest thing the captain can do to you is to cut off all your limbs."

"Well, that kinda hurts. Makes me think I'm not attractive enough for anyone to get smitten with," Hange whined.

"It's not like that. Levi's a germaphobe. Cleanliness is his priority more than surviving this world," Nanaba pointed out, measuring Hange up from head to toe. "I don't think you'd fit Levi's standards."

"Bad news, Nana. If he already chewed on my mouth, I think his standards have leveled up."

"Your confidence is killing me." Nanaba could only sigh in resignation. "With Levi's current standards, you're a major downgrade."

Three days have passed and Hange hasn't seen Levi that much. Not his brooding presence, not even his shadow. Hange was sure he was avoiding her--or perhaps he didn't want to bring up and intensify the rumors by going around the barracks for everyone to notice him. 

Must be cooped up in his room.

Or curled up in the pits of hell.

Haunted by the memory of Hange all over him.

Recalling that single night, Hange must have unintentionally taken advantage of the situation. Not that she was head over heels for the captain, but she was more interested in knowing his vulnerable side despite his strength and seemingly stoic nature. Studying Titans was her duty in the Survey Corps, but studying Levi--the tough nut to crack--was another matter entirely, a secret goal that was slowly branching into obsession. It was a side job she would likely spend countless hours on--just because Levi was the most interesting human being she had ever encountered. 

And, of course, she had been right all along--Levi was vulnerable…but also just a tiny bit gullible. With her back against the wall and Levi stuck in an internal debate over whether to follow her brilliant suggestion, it suddenly hit her--maybe, she shouldn’t have proposed this in the first place. There were plenty of other ways to salvage his reputation, and this was definitely the most questionable one. Well, a wild one. He had protested at first, swearing up a storm and calling it the worst idea imaginable. And yet, as the sound of soldiers' boots grew louder, thinking they were the thuds of a dozen titans coming at them, Levi did what any rational soldier would do in a moment of crisis.

He went for the kill.

He grabbed her and slammed his lips onto hers in a clumsy but searing, maddening fashion. 

Hange sure had lost track of time. She also lost track of the hushed gasps around them because, somehow, Levi's hand had found its way into her ponytail, and his tongue was enthusiastically charting new territories. He was kissing her like a man who had spent years repressing emotions, and Hange, well…she was dangerously close to getting carried away.

Fuck it. 

Just when things were teetering on scandalous, with her hands instinctively moving to rip his shirt apart, Levi pulled back—breathless, flustered, and very much done.

Their audience? Long gone. 

Hange stopped, lips swollen. Her hands were still clutching his shirt with two buttons popped out. "Wow. Th-that blew my mind. Wait, they're gone. They're gone, right?" 

Levi looked to his right cautiously, his forearm flying right to his mouth as if he'd tasted dirt. 

"Do you think they saw us?" Hange asked casually. "It was a good idea, right?"

Levi glared at her, almost unsure. His ears were red, and so was his mouth. "Good? Where's the good in that?"

"Well, I think they'll be convinced now that you aren't gay," Hange said proudly, flashing a victorious grin. "Plus, I thought that was fun. You're quite a good kisser, Levi. I almost thought we're gonna take this to your room." 

Levi stepped back wordlessly, and as realization hit him, his eyes widened in horror.

"Hey. You okay?"  Hange asked.

Levi turned away without a word and walked off, his pace quickening until his footsteps faded into the distance. Left alone in the hallway, Hange's lips curled into a satisfied smile as she savored the lingering warmth of his lips.

Back in her room, Hange spent the whole day bothered by all this. Stretched out, staring at the ceiling with a discarded book beside her pillow, she mumbled self-pitifully, "Yeah. He was upset. Maybe he was never been kissed before and he wanted his first to be special. Hm. I fucked up."

She clutched her bedsheet and pulled it all the way to cover half of her face. Erwin will be back in a few days and he shall be calling in a meeting. Would Levi be around to face her? Would things between them get awkward? 

Likely.

"I should talk to him," Hange decided. "But..."

She couldn't help but think about his lips and the low groans that escaped him. Unconsciously, his body responded differently that night. Levi was a man who was capable of giving in to intimacy, just like any normal being.

She pushed herself up from the bed and headed towards the door. Just then, hurried knocks echoed through the room, and before she could respond, a short figure burst in, slamming the door shut behind him

Levi.

"Oh..." Hange's mouth hung open at his sudden appearance. "Don't you think it's a little impolite to crash into someone's room? A woman's room to be exact?"

"If the rumors involve us two fucking each other, that shouldn't be an issue for you," Levi spat.

"Oh, so you want to take this to another level? Wait, won't you let me shower first?" Hange said suggestively.

"Idiot! We're not doing anything!" Levi said, cheeks burning. "I'm not gonna fuck you. Not even in your dreams!"

Hange laughed boisterously. "After ravishing my mouth? In the first place, I thought you were possessed by a starved, horny demon. What stopped you anyway? We're not even halfway to the exciting part."

"Stupid! That was just once. Never gonna happen again. And I just went along with your fucking plan!"

"Then why are you here? All this time, I thought you were mad at me. I haven't seen you around that much," Hange said, crossing her arms. "Why not at least say something so I won't have to overthink you want me so bad?"

Levi fumed. "The rumors won't just die and it's all your fault."

"Obviously. Because they've seen us in action. Was it a problem now?"

Levi seethed, getting impatient. "Maybe it isn't a problem for you because you lacked the reputation and you never cared. Spare me, four-eyes! I can't stand it when people talk about me!"

"When did you start to care about your rep anyway? Rumors die eventually, Levi. What matters is how you do your job despite your affairs. Your private life is not anybody's business. Prove it that our relationship won't get in the way of our duties and responsibilities."

"Relationship? Ours is nonexistent!"

"Yeah, right," Hange sang. "But still, people see it the other way around."

"Because you have the most fucked up idea!" 

"I didn't force you to kiss me," Hange countered.

Levi looked away. Hange sat on the edge of her bed and crossed her legs. "Initially, the plan is to let people think you're not into men. And if I recounted correctly, we've been kissing for over a minute. Seems like someone enjoyed it. Does that feel good, Levi? Have you been kissed before?"

Levi stepped back, sporting a mortified look. "W-what the fuck..."

Hange laughed. "It's okay, Levi. It's natural for us to feel pleasure in the heat of the moment. We could've done something more and I implore you to explore your body needs and satiate its thirst."

"You're fucking disgusting four-eyes!" Levi pointed at her.

"You made a choice. Let them think you're into Erwin or let them see you kissing me, which only implies you got a thing for women," Hange said smugly. "They don't have an evidence with Erwin but they caught us red-handedly."

"It was a mistake!"

"It was? I don't think so. So your lips got life on their own that time? I know that's tough but you made the right decision."

"I'd rather die, shithead!"

Hange's smile waned as if hurt. She didn't expect Levi to be this rude.  "I know I'm disgusting but what you said is downright insulting."

Levi furrowed his brows. "Huh?"

Hange pouted. "Okay. So maybe the rumors don't just involve the real score between us. There are underlying issues that question your taste in women. Why me of all people? Why the filthy, ugly, loud scientist who wouldn't stand a chance at getting laid. Did her experiments involve magic potions to make the captain fall for her?"

Levi frowned at her, sensing the pain in her words. He responded gently, "Oi, I didn't say that."

"Just so you know, Levi, you were my first," Hange revealed, out of the blue. "Hell... did you know older women in the Survey Corps have been dying to make out and have sex with somebody? We were to die out there and there's no way I'm gonna die a virgin!"

Levi grew a shade of red as she said that. "We're digressing, Hange. We're not discussing those things."

"Why the hell not? We're adults. We know how sex works! Well, we just lacked the experience because we're busy being soldiers."

Levi fidgeted at the growing tension with the subject matter. He wanted to leave her door before she could say something more--adding fuel to the fire inside him. But for some reason, he stuck around, listening to her with helpless ears.

"Ah, being in the military sucks. We forget how our emotions work from physical closeness. We forget intimacy and how our body responds to certain impulses. That night when we kissed, have you felt something? Did something awaken in you even if everything was forced?" Hange asked boldly.

"Don't make it too awkward. It was forced, Hange. You forced that idea onto me because there was no fucking choice. Yeah, maybe I got carried away--a little--but that's just about it!" Levi said. "If you feel something, that's your fucking problem."

"Geez. I wasn't even bothered by it. And didn't you just walk out on me?!" Hange pointed out. "Maybe it was the other way around? That was you. You felt something." 

Levi clamped his mouth shut, unable to retort.

Hange snickered. "Well... you won't have to say you enjoyed it, Levi. I get it. Your silence speaks volumes."

When Levi's ears turned red and his fists clenched tightly on his sides, Hange laughed out loud. So loud it could break the walls around them.

"Easy! I'm just kidding, Levi!" Hange said. "Whoah! Those sharp eyes of yours are gonna stab right through my bones! I'm not even prepared for it."

"And I'm not prepared to feed your body to the titans!" Levi said sharply.

"Okay fine. Let's forget about it, okay? I've got a plan--the best my brain could cook up!" Hange suddenly declared, radiating confidence like a mad scientist unveiling their latest experiment. "Why not act like nothing happened?! We just carry on with our usual routine, cool and chill. If anyone asks, we evade the subject. Because the moment we react, we give them entertainment and they'll want more. But if we give them nothing? Boredom sets in, and poof--the rumors fizzle out. Trust me, silence is the ultimate plot twist!"

"That doesn't sound like a great plan at all."

"Levi, that's the best I could think of. I don't want to stress myself out by overthinking! If people keep talking, then so be it. Let them get tired of it. If Erwin asks, we just counter it. Like I said, rumors die off. They always do. We have plenty of other things to think about rather than worry about our reputation. Think about our mission outside the walls. Keeping ourselves alive is better than sulking in controversies--whatever you wanna call them. We focus on what's more important--our jobs. And you damned knew well that we excelled in what we do. A scandal in the hallway will just remain a rumor. It won't get us fired."

"My tolerance isn't as good as yours. Rumors test my limits, and let's just say... the body count might start rising. That should be the death of the Survey Corps."

Hange smiled knowingly and stepped a little closer to him. She leaned her face forward, so close their breaths mingled. "You, killing them all just because you hate being talked about? Nah, you ain't taking those sweet words into action."

Levi stepped back warily. "Oi! You want to break your nose so bad?"

Hange challenged. "More like, breaking my barriers. How about testing your limits, then?" 

"How about doing yourself a favor and back off?" Levi warned. "I could punch you so hard, you'd need to reconstruct your face."

"Sure. Punch me then."

Levi wavered. "You'll be in hell long before the Titans I've slain even get there."

Hange smiled. "Ooh! What a journey. Do you say I'll go straight to the hell's pit while my beloved titans have to go through like--what? Seven stages of paradise in your hands?"

Levi gave her a baffled, grave look.

"So, punch me or... perhaps kiss me like you did last time?"

Levi frowned. "More like punch you or kick you. It wouldn't be hard to decide on my part."

"Of course you're bluffing! You should do something about your emotions, Levi. You're not mad about a ruined reputation. You're mad because you want me so bad and you can't do anything about it," Hange teased him. "Your attitude turns me on. You wanna try with me again?"

"W-what the hell's wrong with you?!" Levi shivered, visibly repulsed. "You have a death wish?"

Hange smiled, looking deep into his eyes. However, seeing the storm in the grey and the crunching sound of his fists on his sides, Hange thought her ideas--no doubt--are going to be the death of her. 

Literally.

"Heard what happened. You okay, Hange?" Nanaba took in the bandage covering Hange's entire nose. With a tray of food in her hand, Nanaba decided to pay her a visit after learning about Hange's injury from horseback riding. Information is not reliable these days so she had to see for herself. 

And well, it appears the news was true anyway.  

Hange had been staying in her room for two days. Over her bed--covered in blankets and surrounded by pillows. She was in a pretty bad shape--or that was just her nose. In any case, she didn't want to expose herself looking like a titan slapped her in the face.

"I kinda... overestimated my charm," Hange chuckled, helping herself up and reaching for her food. She would've loved to tell Nanaba what really happened.

"I didn't know you got a thing for horses..." Nanaba snorted, handing over the tray.

Hange snapped her head. "What?"

"Didn't you fall from a horse face-first during your training yesterday morning? The captain said he even had to pick you up."

Hange cocked her head, thinking. "Levi? Levi said that?"

"Yeah. Why? Don't tell me you had another version to sensationalize your narrative?" A smug grin crept up Nanaba's face, challenging Hange to spit out the fact. "Well, your reflexes are kinda failing you these days. Try to get out of your lab once in a while, Hange. You should do more physical training other than doing research the whole day. Your knowledge won't save you from a titan's unpredictable reflexes."

Hange blinked rapidly. "W-wait. What exactly did Levi say about me?"

Nanaba rolled her eyes. "That your stupid ass fell off a horse and decided to land face-first because it's the safest thing to do."

Hange fell silent. Confused. As for what truly happened, Levi had lied of course.

"Why, is there something I need to know more than what Levi said?" Nanaba asked. 

Hange shook her head before Nanaba could shoot up another question. "Well... he was right about that. Just a stupid wipeout, is all. It wasn't so bad."

"Yeah, right. I know you'd still be smiling on your deathbed if you keep that up," Nanaba said. 

And Hange could only half-smile defeatedly.

"Fell off a horse? Really?" Hange confronted Levi in his room that night.

He was cleaning his blades, his boots, every nook and cranny of his gear in silence, as if Hange was never in the room with him.

"Levi!" Hange glowered, stomping her way forward to grab his attention.

He paid her a brief, empty glance before returning to his task. "I'd rather they not find out that you pushed me to my limit and got yourself punched in the face."

Hange bit her lip--painfully. She sucked in a breath at the stinging sensation because her swollen lip was another thing to nurse other than her nose. "Hey... you didn't exactly punch me..."

Levi stopped midway, glaring. He didn't need to remember how his limits involved snapping out of his senses and making Hange a casualty of her own ideas. "Tsk. You're just stupid."

"Or should you say clumsy? If I hadn't slipped, what would have transpired?" 

Levi froze this time. It didn't go as what he had visualized in his head primarily. He was meaning to punch her clean in the face--hell--he'd been itching to do so and make her stop pestering him. However, the events in the hallway gnawed in his head, leaving him dizzy with those memories of Hange's lips, the heat between them, and way too many feelings for his liking. 

Levi’s lips definitely tasted better when he initiated the first move--bold, rough, and unrestrained. Hange could still recall the way he'd yanked her by the ponytail, crashing their faces together in a heated lip-lock. It was exactly a replay of the events in the hallway without an audience. And well, things got a little out of hand. Hands wandered, balance was lost, and before she knew it--her nose met the edge of the table in a tragic, reflex-failing betrayal.

Now, Levi must have cooked up a halfway decent story to save whatever scraps of dignity she had left. 

If there were any.

"You really need to work on your limits, Levi," Hange chuckled. "That only proves you want me so bad..."

"I just shut you up..."

"You could've just punch me. That should made me quiet..."

"Try that again and you're gonna kiss my fists for real," Levi threatened. 

"Ah... I still prefer your lips," Hange smiled knowingly. "When I'm fully healed, I'm up for another round."

"When pigs fly."

"Sure! I'd teach the brass how to use the ODM gear!" Hange said.

Levi was caught off-guard by her clever remarks, rendering him speechless. 

Hange whined. "Deny no more! Your actions won't lie. Say, why did you kiss me the second time?"

Levi glared still, staring at her in disbelief. How persistent is this woman?

"I think I know the answer," Hange giggled. "From now on, I think the rumors won't finally get into your nerves."

"I fucking hate you," Levi said in surrender.

"Likewise, cap. Now how about showing me how much you hated me?" Hange challenged once more, a playful smile tugging her lips. 

"You're gonna regret it..." Levi said warningly.

"Prove it."

Levi bit his lower lip. "Fine. Now strip."

And Hange's eyes glimmered in excitement.

During Erwin's absence, Mike was tasked to lead a meeting for their upcoming exploration and reconnaissance outside the walls. Alongside Nanaba and Levi--who sat by the window, looking detached--Mike grew slightly frustrated when a key individual left an empty seat, only for someone else to take it.

"So, Hange can't walk now? Please, she's just using this as an excuse to skip the strategy meeting and hide in her lab all day with her experiments," Mike assumed, lazily running a hand across his face. "Erwin's due back in two days. We should at least put together a report or something while he's gone." 

"I don't think Hange's making things up," Moblit said defensively. "I checked her in her quarters and she could barely make her way to the bathroom. That's why she requested me to join this meeting to take her place."

Nanaba shot Levi a curious look. "We're talking about Hange here. She's the queen of drama and excuses. Hey Captain, do you think it has something to do with the rumors going around between you two?"

"Don't ask me," Levi drawled. "If she hurt herself again, that's just her usual clumsy ass at work. And as for the rumors? I’ve stopped keeping track--just as long as they don’t involve me and the commander screwing, I couldn’t care less."

Moblit choked.

Nanaba chuckled knowingly. "First was her nose from falling off a horse. Then... what? She twisted her legs from what, outrunning you in a race?"

"Nobody outruns me," Levi said. "And who wants to race with her?"

"Well, for whatever reason, she should convince us that her injury affects her every motion, otherwise I'm gonna invalidate whatever claim she comes up with. What do you think, Moblit?" Nanaba asked.

Moblit shrugged. "I don't know. But she didn't say anything else other that she can handle herself just fine. Like she didn't need help."

"Unless it's convenient for her to crawl her way around," Nanaba said, sucking a breath. "Know what? I'm not convinced enough."

"She's just constipated," Levi deadpanned. "Must be a rock-hard shit she's keeping in her ass trapped for weeks."

Mike shook his head with a funny face. "That's a tough one. Now why don't you give her some tea if you think she's constipated? That should help with the bowel movements." 

Levi glared. "I'm not sharing my stash with her."

Nanaba pushed herself up from her seat with a long sigh. "Okay, maybe I'll go see her first just to confirm she's okay. If she's lying, she'll sit here with us. Didn't she know her presence is important because our next expedition will involve studying certain titan classes' behavior?"

"Wait," Levi interrupted. "Don't bother yourself. You are just going to put up a fight with that idiot. Let me handle it."

"Sure?" Nanaba raised a brow suspiciously.

Levi groaned, jumping off the window sill. "I'll go get her. Drag her if necessary."

"Look, you don't have to go that far..." Nanaba said warily.

"You haven't dealt with her antics just yet. She's rabid. She bites when--" Levi cut his words, realization dawning on his face. 

Nanaba had to look closely as Levi passed her, looking troubled. "Hey... is everything okay?"

She had to reach a hand over his shoulder to turn him around. And that's when her eyes saw a bite mark on his neck. 

Levi swatted her hand away.

"Levi, was that a bite mark on your neck?" Nanaba questioned, her eyes wide and curious.

Levi could only look away speechlessly--words suppressed by one shameful truth.

"What's up with the leg drama?! Get off the bed now! We needed you at the meeting." Levi was standing by Hange's bed, yanking off the covers covering her entire body.

She was curled up in her sleepwear and lying on her side. "Not in the mood."

"Hey, you can't be sick," Levi said, pulling her by her ankles. "Not today."

"I was in pain, okay?" Hange whined. "Didn't Moblit tell you? I can't walk."

"No, you can," Levi scoffed. "Come on, get up. I don't want them suspecting about us." 

"It was your fault, Levi."

"You asked for it," Levi said. "Don't sound like I hurt you for real."

"But you did!" Hange said, sitting up. "I was so sore! You... you... weren't gentle at all!"

"Shut up. You practically begged me to wreck you."

Hange buried her face with her hands. "That was my first! Of course that would hurt!"

"Tch."

"You think this is all pretense?!" Hange argued. 

"Some people can handle their first times," Levi shot back. "And that's for the average person. You're a fucking soldier who can physically tolerate the most blinding pain!"

"No! Your actions are laced with violence. You stretched me, ripped my soul," Hange said a little exaggerately. "I was screaming but you gagged me!"

"Hey! You shut up. Don't let me gag you the second time around!" Levi shushed her, grappling her by the head and clamping her mouth shut. "And you bit me. Nanaba saw the bitemark on my neck! You've gone rabid! How the hell would I explain that?" 

"I was in pain! I need something to bite and you were conveniently there," Hange said, wriggling like a trapped animal.

"I just did what I was told. You want me to destroy you. Didn't you say that was the best feeling ever?!" Levi asked. "You're even moaning in pleasure!"

Just behind the sealed door, Nanaba, Moblit, and Mike were huddled together, leaning closely, ears pressed to the door and, eyes wide as saucers at the revelation unfolding inside Hange's room. 

"No... no way..." Nanaba said. "It's the real deal!"

"Oh my god..." Moblit muttered, unmoved.

"Confirmed," Mike said. "These two are wrecking the bedsheets. How the hell my nose missed this? But I wonder how 'damaged' Hange was now. That's troubling."

"I don't want to know," Nanaba chimed in. "Unimaginable. Levi's brutal with the titans but... in bed?"

"That's double the brutality," Mike said. "No wonder Hange's legs couldn't function enough." 

"C-can we just go now?" Moblit stammered. "They're having a private moment. We're absolutely not supposed to be eavesdropping."

"We're just going to the best part," Mike chuckled. "Who knows what we'll hear next."

"Ah, no. Hell, no," Nanaba said, stepping away from the door and waving off his suggestion. "I'll be having nightmares if we stay here any longer and hear unnecessary noise. Let's just resume the meeting without them. I don't even know why I let myself be dragged in here." 

"Ah, you're no fun..." Mike drawled and straightened up, his towering figure followed Nanaba as she walked away.

Moblit got up to his feet and pressed his ear once more to make sense of all this, but as he heard nothing but more than just muffled and inaudible voices from inside, he decided to leave them be and scurried back to the meeting room.

"For god's sake four-eyes! I just gave you a massage! Why do you make it sound like we had the wildest sex?!" Levi snapped. "You're overreacting."

"What massage?! It's a torture-infused body realignment!" Hange groaned dramatically. "Listen, it freaking hurt, okay? You yanked my legs on their last stretch! I was this close to dislocating all my bones and you can't seem to stop! Damn, I could barely stand! My nose had been a disaster, and now my whole body wanna join the pity party too?" 

Levi exhaled a weary sigh, his mind drifting back to that day--or that moment--when Hange had brazenly challenged him to "explore his emotions" after yet another one of their completely unplanned, yet disturbingly frequent, make-out sessions. She was a menace, a fucking tease, pushing boundaries with playful, suggestive gestures. But Levi had the ironclad and impressive self-control that kept his body in check, even as his emotions wrestled for dominance.

Yet, emotions were unfamiliar terrain, a battlefield without a map. Worse, they were landmines buried deep in the wreckage of his childhood--a past shadowed by his mother's suffering, her existence reduced to nothing more than a means to fulfill the desires of men, in which one had been his unnamed father. That reality had left intimacy feeling less like warmth and more like a jagged path of broken glass, one he wasn't sure he could walk without bleeding.

"Seriously though, I need some rest..." Hange told him and plopped herself back onto the bed. "The massage was good but I felt so sore. And I'm not kidding, okay?"

With an exasperated sigh, Levi let her go. Too tired to put up with her theatrics, he joined her on the bed, lying by her side in surrender. "You're the fucking craziest person ever."

"How can someone be fine with kissing but not with sex?" Hange asked Levi.

"If you really are itching to get all of your holes plugged, just ask anybody--Mike, Moblit, any of the recruits--" Levi said sarcastically. "Or stick a twig up your ass, you needy piece-of-shit!"

Hange laughed out loud, lightly jabbing his arm. "Hey, Do you seriously think I'd want to do it with just anyone?! I'm not that type of person. Of course, I'd only do it with the person I'm comfortable with!" 

Levi turned his head to look at her, his eyes tracing her sharp side-profile.

"I think I'm comfortable enough with you. You know, if there was one person I'd bare my soul with, I think I'm fine if it were you. I'm not gonna deny, I find you attractive. And the rumor about you being gay bothered me so I think... you were something. So after learning you're not really interested in men... after we ended up close to screwing... who would've thought? The king of cleanliness wasn't even repelled by me."

"I just sanitized your mouth," Levi sneered.

"With that kind of sanitation? I can get used to it."

"Four-eyes, there are far more important things to do than fuck like rabbits. Think like a grown-up and know your position--you said so yourself!" 

"But soldiers screw around from time to time. What's the difference with you?" Hange asked curiously. "Have you like... never done it before?"

"As a soldier, I have my priorities. And that doesn't include fucking around."

"Interesting. And I thought you have other gender preferences," Hange raised a brow. "Or I never really excite you?"

"If you dare bring Erwin up again or a false impression of my sexual orientation, I'm gonna fucking break all of your limbs with no chances of healing!" Levi threatened roughly. 

Hange laughed still and rolled over just to stop a few inches from his face, staring at him close. "Relax. Of course, I know you're one to shy away from any intimate encounters. I was close to getting laid before... you know, even pay for someone just for experience but... it felt like I was driven by a force not to do it. Especially with a stranger. Somehow, I'm still a thinking person. But to do it with you--a comrade--well, someone I'm most comfortable with... I think I'm fine with that."

"Have some self-respect, four-eyes," Levi drawled. "Especially with your body. Trust me, you wouldn't want to hear the story of some women in Underground."

Hange went silent. The melodramatic tone in his voice was a dead giveaway of a past he surely didn't want to bring up. During her earlier years as a new recruit, she took interest into knowing him, even going great lengths to read his profile from the Commander's office. His childhood... too disturbing.

"Hm. Must be tough for them..." Hange trailed off. "I heard about mothers raising their kids alone. And... just to get by, they'd do all kinds of jobs--the kind of leaving their sons and daughters behind. Sometimes... forever."

Levi stiffened uncomfortably. He didn't need to hear the gnawing truth, clawing at old wounds and memories he had long since buried.

"The kids were born--not out of love--but... by accident or worse, violation..." Hange said in a triggering manner. "You're right. Just by thinking about it... I thought I'd reflect some more on my life choices."

"I was raised in that kind of environment. I should know better." Levi rose from the bed feebly and straightened up. He had no idea why the conversation stretched this far and haunting. "A woman's body is sacred. It wasn't just a tool."

"That's why you're fast to say no," Hange said, disappointment hinted in her face. "I feel bad now."

Levi smirked. He turned towards the door. "I don't know if you want to do it out of curiosity or just for experience. But sorry. I respect you, Hange."

Hange's eyes widened. The sincerity in Levi's voice made her heart flutter. What a foul-mouthed gentleman.

Levi just shrugged. "Okay, if you can't make it today, I'll tell them. Go rest."

"Hey Levi?" Hange called. 

Levi's head whipped back.

Hange smiled sheepishly. "Know what? My admiration for you increased tenfold. I really wouldn't mind if you were to be my first."

Levi scoffed. "Sleep through it, you'd change your mind after you wake up."

Hange giggled merrily. "Guess not. We'd be kissing again before you knew it. And I'd light up that fire in you..."

"Scrub yourself. And go to hell..."

Hange grinned with a sly smirk on her face. "I'll make sure you're coming to hell with me."

Levi scoffed. He'll never win with a word-war with Hange. Turning his head towards the door, he mumbled something under his breath--just out of Hange's earshot. "Go figure. You're the closest thing I'd do the wildest things with."

And just for himself, maybe he'd consider going to hell with her. 

Back in the meeting room, Levi was welcomed with silence. Mike and Nanaba didn't expect him to return too soon, so they pretended to be working on some documents as Moblit had just placed a tray of beverages on the table.

The awkward silence dragged on after the trio was handed each of their cups.

"Where the hell is my tea?" Levi asked, seeing nothing was left for him. 

"Oh Levi! That was fast--I mean--we thought you're not coming back..." Mike exclaimed thoughtlessly, eyes not meeting his.

"I just checked on Hange, remember?" Levi said matter-of-factly, sliding down to a seat across Mike. "Too bad, she couldn't make it. We can carry on. Besides, Moblit's here as her representative."

"S-sure... I... I'll just relay whatever we discussed in this meeting," Moblit stuttered.

"What's with the jitters Moblit?" Levi noticed. "Relax. We're not in a miliary forum."

"How is she anyway?" Mike digressed, clearing his throat. "Is it true she's injured?"

Levi crossed his leg. "Yeah. She's on her bed, whining like a brat. Said she couldn't walk properly."

"But..." Nanba piped in. "Did she sprain her ankle or something? We're not told about the details." 

Levi leaned back against his chair. "I think I was the reason for that. I kinda... overdid it."

Three surprised faces gaped at him--a hint of faked shock and concern. They didn't expect Levi to be very vocal about this.

"Overdid what?" Nanaba asked carefully.

Levi raised his brows. "She asked for it. You know Hange. She's a fucking sadist."

"You're not gentle with her, are you?" Nanaba queried, almost creeped out by her question. "Knowing Hange, she should've enjoyed it."

"She did enjoy at first," Levi drawled. "Until her moans turn into screams. But I must admit I was a bit harsh. I pushed it too far because she kept getting into my nerves. I stretched her enough beyond her limit and she almost collapsed."

Moblit swallowed uncomfortably. "Oh..."

"I’m close to killing her but she survived, nonetheless," Levi continued casually. 

"Did you... like... use something other than your hands?" Mike asked him warily. 

Levi scrunched his forehead. "Of course! Hands, fingers. A bottle. I even used my feet!"

Nanaba stamped a palm over head. "God! Oh goddess of the walls! That was the wildest thing ever! That was Hange's first time!"

"Yeah, she said that. I had to gag her, too," Levi said. "To keep the noise down. Her screams are scandalous."

Nanaba repressed a squeal threatening to break through her throat. "Holy..."

Mike shifted in his seat. The topic was getting out of hand. "Okay, that's enough. This isn't the time and place for your private affairs with Hange, Levi. I think you should control your emotions when things heat up. For your information, not every woman will be pleased in pain. Knowing your strength, t-that's very dangerous."

"Not with Hange," Levi said. "The fuck are you on? She damn enjoyed it."

"But not her body, I suppose," Mike said worriedly. "It could've gone worse."

"I believe nobody dies of a body massage. Unless she agreed to get all of her bones broken," Levi explained. "What the hell have you been thinking?"

"M-massage?" Moblit stuttered. "That's a massage?"

"What the hell else?" Levi's eyes shot daggers at them. "Hey... have you guys been thinking of something else?"

Nanaba shrank in her seat. "Well, the way you said it, it was implied you two were having... you know... that... thing."

"Holy shit, you think I fucked Hange to death?" Levi asked incredulously.

Mike sighed out loud, brushing his hair off his sweat-dotted forehead. "Well... like I said, enough of that bedroom stuff. We have a meeting to finish today. We should take things seriously, god!"

"And are you thinking the same, Mike?" Levi asked him.

"Forget it," Mike told him. "You need to work on your... communication style, Levi."

Unbelievable, Levi thought, drinking in the silence of the room as nobody said a word since then, only documents fluttering like pigeons.

"You know," Levi cleared his throat, breaking the ice. "Either you need to work on your comprehension or you need to scrub off your filthy brains."

The other three people in the room turned to look.

"Or better yet, you should all get laid."

"They spent the night together. I’m not sure whose room it was, but I’m pretty sure I saw them leaving together."  

Levi and Hange were out in the sun one morning, catching a breath after a strenuous training with the recruits who couldn't stop talking about them. While Hange seemed to be pretty bothered, Levi seemed nonchalant as if tables have turned.

Hange leaned in close to Levi's ear. She didn't care how close her lips had been to graze his skin. Not that Levi minded anymore. 

"I'm sure they're talking 'bout us again," Hange said, her eyes scanning the scattered groups of soldiers around them. "I think one saw us coming out of your room together this morning."

Levi puffed a breath, reclining against the bench and facing the sun. "I really don't care anymore. Let them think what they think."

"Hey, we got an all-nighter to finish all the reports and proposals last night. That's what happened, but in their dirty little heads, I'm sure they're thinking we had a rough sex!"

"You can walk straight and can perform a high kick. So no wild sex."

"Then we've been in a gentle, boring missionary..."

"Are you still envisioning us doing that? Fuck it, Hange," Levi waved it off. "And don't give a fuck about them. Whatever happened to 'rumors die eventually'?"

"Whoa! Someone grew tired of the rumors! Already? So nothing bothers you anymore?"

"They're just a waste of energy," Levi said. 

Hange chuckled lightly. "What if Erwin finds out? He's not gonna be happy about rumors in the Survey Corps." 

"He should be happy because we spared him the rumors about his sexuality. Hell, we just tell him what's up. Bet he's gonna believe us more than those bastards," Levi told her reassuringly. "If he kicked us out, Titans will roam the city and claim our territory. That’ll be the end of this damn humanity. So there. He's not stupid."  

"Well yeah, good point. Because we're his most valuable soldiers?" Hange droned out. 

"You have a better brain than what you're trying to prove right now."

Hange hummed thoughtfully, noticing several eyes are still feasting on them since they occupied the bench for themselves. "I'm so sure they've already concluded in their head that we're screwing every single day--which hasn't happened yet in the first place."

"Like I said, why are you bothered by that, Hange?" Levi said, stretching his arms lazily into the air. "Whatever we're doing is not their business." 

"So... so you're totally okay with that? People thinking something's between us?" Hange asked.

"As long as it wasn't Erwin..." Levi droned out. 

Hange, for some reason felt the heat in her cheeks. "So you're fine with me?"

Levi didn't respond. His own response surprised him as well.

"I'll take it as a yes," Hange said giddily. "You know, you can always take advantage of this--being a man, of course. No resistance from me."

"Whatever, four-eyes. I'm not truly into you."

"Wow, you keep saying that after we tasted each other's gums and bred bacteria in our mouths," Hange laughed. "Sooner or later, we'd make it past first base. For now, let's keep it boring."

"For now, you need more showers to relieve that itch," Levi shot back. 

"Why not join me in the shower then, and scratch it for me?" Hange teased.

Levi's glare intensified--the unforgiving look that he'd likely pounce, wrestle, and strangle her for her sassiness. He reached for her head, grappling her ponytail and forcing her to look at him. Another staring contest when nobody backs down. Hange--though halfway terrified--didn't blink one bit. Her eyes tell him to go dare, with a hint of sly smile.

"Go ahead, gentleman," she said and winked, totally unfazed.

"Tch," Levi clicked his tongue.

Maybe he'd change his mind...

Damn it.

Always a tease.

Fuck what he'd do to her.

And fuck all the rumors that shall haunt them in the next few days.