Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Knock knock knock

“Come in!” Rebecca shouted from her desk, promptly standing when she saw who it was. None other than Sherry Birkin, the one who she had been waiting for. “Took you long enough,” She said, retrieving a clipboard with the results of some tests they had run on Sherry following her time in China.

“I’m sorry, traffic! You know how it goes!” Sherry groaned, walking over to her.

Rebecca shook her head disapprovingly at the excuse and looked over the papers, “Traffic, that's what they all say.” She murmured.

Sherry smiled at her remark and peeked at the chart, though it made no real sense to her, “Am I gonna make it?”

“I think you’ll live.” She quipped, “There’s nothing unusual here, and no traces of the C-Virus, like you asked about. I don't think you have anything to be concerned about, but let me know right away if you notice anything strange.”

Sherry sighed a breath of relief, “Thank goodness, I’ve been so worried about that.”

Rebecca smiled and nodded, “I’m glad that’s a weight off your shoulders. Um, I was thinking though… When I was going over your file earlier, you're certainly a very fascinating person, at least from a doctor's perspective. Your ability to heal injuries that would otherwise kill anyone else definitely makes you an incredible asset to the U.S. government. But that's what worries me most, you're not an asset, Sherry, you're a person.” She spoke earnestly, pausing for a moment to set aside the charts.

Sherry didn't respond, which was fine, Rebecca had more to say, so she continued on.

“If no one has told you before, I want to tell you now. If you ever decide you want to change your path in life and leave this all behind; if you do the thing that many of us wish we could do and go back to normalcy. That isn't failing, or quitting, or giving up. That's being strong.”

Sherry smiled softly and reached out to take Rebecca’s hands, “Thank you, I’ll keep that with me. But, I can't help but feel like you were telling me what you needed to hear. Or maybe a younger you?”

The brunette chuckled, “Yeah, sometimes I wish somebody would've just told me to give up altogether. I probably would've.” She shook her head, “No, probably not. I’m too committed, we all are. For everyone we've lost. Everyone’s lost so many friends, colleagues, but there's usually someone in particular keeping you in the fight.” She continued, her eyes drifting over Sherry’s shoulder to her desk where Billy’s dog tags laid.

“Who are you doing it for, Rebecca?” Sherry asked.

“Just an old… friend.” She answered, looking back over, “I’m still hopeful he didn't die in Raccoon City, but I’ll never know.”

Sherry smirked slightly, “Friend? Must've been a pretty good friend if he keeps you going after all this time.”

Rebecca pulled away her hands to cross her arms, her cheeks becoming faintly red, “Well, we didn't know each other for very long. But, he did have a lasting impression.”

The blonde scoffed, “Oh, I know all about that, go on.”

Rebecca smiled, recalling being told about a certain Jake Muller from Chris. “Maybe some secrets should just stay secrets. I really haven't told anyone before.”

“Even better reason to tell me. I’m sure some part of you wants to get it off your chest.”

“There’s not much to tell, honestly. When I think back to it… I feel like I’m holding onto such fleeting memories.” She started tentatively, “It was my first mission. I was supposed to be looking for him, and instead he found me. And even though I was told he was a horrible criminal, I covered for him, I lied on his behalf. I didn't want him to disappear. Maybe because at the time I was scared of the situation I was in and having a strong man to keep me company made me feel better. But it didn't stay that simple.”

Sherry listened attentively, nodding in understanding but not interrupting.

“You know how they say you can fall in love with someone very quickly when you both experience the same traumatic thing?” Rebecca asked, almost rhetorically.

“Do they say that? Guess I haven't heard that one.”

“Maybe I made it up to console myself. Or to explain why I feel this way.” Rebecca continued, “I don't always remember the things that happened back then but I remember every detail about him, I can see him clear as day in my mind, like it was yesterday. When I dream of him, I wake up thinking he’s there because his voice is exactly the same.”

Sherry had a look of pity on her face. It was to be expected. A tale of pining over a man you knew for less than a day years ago? It is pitiful, Rebecca knew this already, why else keep it a secret for all this time.

“Rebecca…” Sherry spoke her name, breaking the lingering silence.

“Yes?”

“What happened? How did it end?”

“We went our separate ways. I let him go and I went to try to find the rest of my team in… that mansion.” She said, walking over to her desk before gingerly picking up the dog tags, “This is what he left me, and from then on, Billy Coen was dead to the world. To everyone but me.” She turned back to Sherry, eyes glued to the objects in hand.

“He could still be out there. Have you tried looking for him?” Sherry asked.

Rebecca glanced back up at her, “I did, at first, or at least tried to. I got out of Raccoon City pretty quick after that, and I assume Billy did too, but wherever I went I kept my eye out for him. For years, I watched for him; in the streets, in stores, anywhere.” She told her, “I guess I was really hoping he’d find me again, but he never did.”

God it was a miserable secret, she should've kept it one. Sherry’s face told her everything she needed to know; she didn't need to voice her thoughts because it was written so plainly in her expression. It was as if she was listening to some doomed romance story, she nearly looked like she might cry.

Before the blonde woman had the chance to speak her condolences for the long-lost-love, Rebecca cut her off, “It’s okay, Sherry. I’m fine. Believe me.” She said, “I miss him, of course I do. But I know he's not going to appear out of thin air, and I’m not going to just run into him on the street.”

Sherry frowned slightly, “I know, but I want to say it can happen. I want to be positive.”

“I understand, so do I, but it just isn't possible. There's no way to know if he even made it out.”

Sherry paused for a moment before perking up, “If there was a way, would you… want someone to find him? I know someone who might be able to.”

“Hm? Counting on that Jake Muller to find a dead man? Technically speaking, he's got a different identity for sure.” The brunette said, “But I don't know, it feels… intrusive. I barely knew him, it's not my place to send someone on a manhunt for him just because I can't get over some feelings that I honestly shouldn't even have.”

“Don't say that! You feel this way for a reason, feelings don't last this long and mean nothing, Rebecca.”

Rebecca sighed, “Okay, would I… mind if he showed up at my doorstep one day? No, I’ve thought of it many times. If he just showed up in my life and said, ‘here I am, I feel the same way, let's make up for lost time’, I’d be thrilled. But, that's… not gonna happen.” She laughed softly at herself.

Now it was Sherry who was sighing, “If he’s alive, he can be found. And now I’m involved, I want to see this through.” Suddenly, she pulled Rebecca into a quick hug, “Thank you for your wise words, I won't forget them. Goodbye for now.”

And just as quick as she had let go, she left Rebecca’s office, leaving her slightly shaken up and confused.

Sherry, on the other hand, was on a mission to fix Rebecca’s love life.

Chapter Text

The days following the meeting with Sherry had Rebecca on edge; flinching at every little noise, jumping at every knock, looking over her shoulder and around the corners more than usual. Needless to say, she regretted spilling her secret but she couldn't pinpoint why exactly she felt so paranoid. Maybe because the metaphorical bottle she had been storing her well hidden feelings in had now shattered, leaving them to spill out.

Although it seemed everything was terrible, there was a small part of her, deep down, that wasn't entirely afraid. A part that hoped Sherry and Jake would be successful in finding him. That part, despite it nearly being overwhelmed by Rebecca’s fear, kept her going for the next week.

That was until she finally heard from Sherry again. She called just before Rebecca was about to leave the office.

“You caught me just in time.” Rebecca told her as she answered the phone, sitting down in her office chair. “I assume you… followed through with what you mentioned last time we met. Did you talk about it with Jake? Can a dead man truly be found?”

“Nothing’s certain yet but there’s three possible locations he could be,” Sherry said, getting straight to the point. “Three different people, any of which could be him.”

Rebecca wasn't really sure what to say. Thank you? Good luck? You don't have to do this? No proper words came to mind and definitely not to mouth, so she opted to say nothing.

“Are you okay? I’m sorry if it’s stressful, I know I kinda inserted myself into your life but I just… felt like I could help you. Not that you couldn't take care of yourself, I don't even know if this is what you really want.” Sherry sighed on the other line, “Rebecca, if we find him, what should we do?”

“Tell him what I told you. About how I feel about him, how I think about him,” Rebecca said softly, “If he… has a life with someone, wherever he is, and he's happy, don't bother him. Please.”

“Okay, I won't.” Sherry paused for a moment, “Are you doing alright though?”

Rebecca felt her throat tightening, her vision blurring with tears, “I’m fine.” She managed, “I have to go.” She quickly hung up, exhaling sharply.

Standing, Rebecca re-collected her things and left her office. The drive home was quiet and dull, the sound cars honking and revving buzzed occasionally in her ears as she drove. Something felt off, something askew inside her. Perhaps the part that wasn't afraid had now become afraid as well, in its own twisted way. Afraid of facing the thing it dreamed of.

Rebecca stayed feeling that way, awfully askew for another two and a half weeks. That was, until she found herself at home one afternoon—on her day off—with an unexpected knock at the door.

She looked up from the book she had been reading, an anxious pit forming in her stomach and cautiously got up, setting aside the book.

“Who is it?” She called out. No answer, which only made her feel worse. Regardless, she had been through Hell, a stranger at the door, or a… not stranger at the door wouldn't kill her. She pulled herself together and approached the front door, opening it in a quick motion to reveal her visitor.

Sherry. She was afraid of Sherry, how foolish. She could've laughed, but she controlled herself.

“It's just you! What are you doing here?” Rebecca asked.

“Yeah, just me! Sorry for stopping by unannounced but I wanted to tell you this in person.” Sherry started, “We found Billy Coen. He’s alive.”

Time seemed to stop for Rebecca as soon as those words were spoken, to know that he was out there somewhere, alive, was everything she could've ever wanted. Even if she could never see him, she was happy. She was thrilled. Her heart raced with joy just imagining what he might look like now.

“Rebecca?” Sherry spoke up, handing out a folded piece of paper, “His number. I thought it might be risky giving out yours so I got his instead. He wants to talk to you.”

Rebecca took it delicately, “Thank you, so much. How can I ever thank you for this?”

Sherry shook her head, “No need, genuinely. I went off and did this without asking what you wanted, if it turned out badly… well I don't know what I would've done, I’m just glad I could do something.” She smiled sheepishly, “Even if you seemed a bit opposed at first.”

Rebecca chuckled, “Yeah, guess I came around to it after I realized how serious you were.”

“You'd be surprised, I’m very serious most of the time.” Just as she was about to continue on, a buzzing in her pocket cut her off.

“Sounds serious.” Rebecca joked as Sherry pulled out her phone.

“It's Jake, I gotta go.” She paused for a moment, glancing up to meet Rebecca’s eyes, “Are you gonna call him?”

Suddenly, it dawned on Rebecca that she could call him. She had the ability to dial a string of numbers and on the other side she would hear his voice, the voice that haunted her for over a decade. For some reason, the realization that everything she had dreamed of was actually coming into fruition was really frightening to her. It must've shown on her face because suddenly Sherry reached out, placing her free hand on her shoulder.

“Do whatever you want. He's not gonna appear from thin air, remember? If you want to talk to him, call. If you decide it's too much, don't. I’m not gonna judge you.” Sherry told her, speaking sympathetically.

“I’ll keep that in mind… but, I don't want to keep you any longer.” Rebecca said, and just like a child being saved by the school bell, she was gracefully rescued by the buzz of Sherry’s cellphone.

“Take care, okay? Let's talk soon.” She said before walking away to answer her phone.

With a sigh, Rebecca retreated to the safety of her home.

•

For the next several days, Rebecca was plagued by a nagging voice in the back of her mind. One that she couldn't quite decipher who it belonged to. Perhaps Sherry, who meant all too well, or Billy, whose face was starting to look blurry in her mind, or maybe it was even her own voice, telling herself to stop being such a coward and finally call him.

Eventually, the unidentified voice in her head finally won her over and she found herself sitting in her living room with her phone in one hand, the slip containing Billy’s number in the other. She dialed the number slowly, her finger hovering over the call button for far too long. She was scared, but she didn't know why. Sherry said he wanted to talk to her, but would he be upset she took so long to call? Probably not, he'd understand she needed time to process.

Then came a different thought, what if he's moved on? Not what if, he definitely has. Any normal person would've by now. Then again, what exactly would he be moving on from? They never had any sort of relationship. From the beginning, they were only just ‘cooperating’ to deal with the situation they were in. If Billy had a real choice, he probably would’ve been long gone much earlier.

No, that’s not true. He had plenty of opportunities to leave her behind and he never—

Oops. She accidentally pushed the call button, her dreadful feelings will have to wait. Besides, she could always ask.

She held the phone to her ear, the sound of her heartbeat nearly muffling the ringing. It rang once… twice… three times, her call was answered.

“Hello?” Said the voice, that voice, the one voice she could recognize in a crowd of a hundred people.

“Billy.” Rebecca said, a familiar ache forming in her chest. “Billy, it's you.” She was dumbfounded, but her words held not a sliver of doubt.

The man on the other line laughed briefly before saying, “Who else were you expecting? You called me, Rebecca.”

He recognized her, he knew her, remembered her. By just her voice. Yes, it could've been because of the fact a government agent and a mercenary went on a manhunt for him just to let him know about her feelings, but for the sake of her hopeless romanticism, she would say it was her voice.

“I know. I’m just… surprised. This doesn't feel real, I feel like I’ve been dreaming these past couple weeks.” She said, “I never thought I’d get to talk to you again. I didn't even know if you were alive.”

“I wasn't. I died, remember?” Billy asked.

“Well, who are you now?”

“Doesn't matter, I’m Billy for you.”

Nail in the coffin. Rebecca decided she could die happy, those words would send her off satisfied. However, if she didn't fall over dead on the spot, her affection for Billy would only grow deeper.

For the moment, she tried to push that aside and responded with, “Good, I wouldn't want anyone else.”

Billy chuckled, seemingly in amusement, “Believe me, I know that.”

Rebecca felt herself blushing, thankfully there was no one there to see, “Hah—Yeah, anyway, what are you getting up to these days? I’m not bothering you, am I?” She tried to direct the conversation on, although a bit awkwardly.

“No, of course not. I’ve been looking forward to you calling.”

“You have?” She asked, clearly surprised by his answer.

“Yup,” He said casually, “And to answer your question, lately I’ve been working as security at this bar a guy I know owns. I guess I could call him my buddy, he’s pretty much the only person I keep up with around here. I try to stay to myself.”

“Sounds lonely…” Rebecca said quietly, mostly to herself.

Billy chuckled, “Lonely? Yeah… it is.”

Rebecca’s self-awareness then suddenly kicked in, “Oh! I’m so sorry, that was so rude!”

“No, you're fine. You're right, like I said.” He said, his smile evident in his tone, “Don’t worry about that though. What are you doing with yourself nowadays? I’m sure you’ve climbed real high up the police ladder, right?”

“Actually, no. After Raccoon City, I quit being a police officer. I've been working as an advisor to the B.S.A.A for… a while now, that keeps me busy. And I do some university work as well.” She explained, “I’m not in the field much, but the job is very engaging all the same.”

“Honestly, no surprise, you didn't seem like the type to stick to being a regular ol’ cop your whole life. You were definitely made to do bigger things. And it sounds like your doin’ ‘em.”

“Well, I was never really a ‘regular’ cop to begin with, I was S.T.A.R.S. But I get what you mean.” She said, a subtle hint of pride hiding in her voice.

Billy smirked. Of course she couldn't see it, but she could hear it in the way he spoke, “Ah, excuse me, Miss Priss, you were a fancy, special cop.”

“I sure was! No matter if I only went on one real mission, I was a real special cop! Believe it when I say it.” She said, playing along.

“Fine, I’m convinced! Didn't take much, anyhow, I saw your talent myself. I know how special you are.”

For a moment, Rebecca felt her shoulders relax. This light-hearted banter between them was so, so… agh, she couldn't find the right word. It filled a void inside her that so desperately needed filling. Her heartbeat thumped in a loud, steady pattern that nearly drowned out her own thoughts. Nearly.

“You certainly have a way of choosing your words, don't you?” She eventually said.

He chuckled on the other line, “Do I? I guess that’s just how I am with you.”

His words hit her a little harder than they should've. She supposed she was starting to overthink things and dissect his every phrase, but before she let it get too far she brushed the thoughts away.

“With me? Again, that's an interesting choice.”

“Rebecca, you don't need to read into everything I say. I’m not trying to mislead you.” Billy said, and everything about the way he spoke made her know he was speaking sincerely.

Rebecca exhaled, the tension she had been holding in her chest releasing slightly.

“Alright, I understand. I’ll trust in you.”

Then suddenly the line fell silent, so much so that Rebecca had to make sure he hadn't hung up on her. Thankfully he hadn't, he was just pausing.

It couldn't have been very long, but to her it felt like an eternity. A storm of thoughts was brewing in her mind, but one in particular stood out. A thought like an itch in the back of her throat, one that she couldn't get rid of no matter what she did, constantly pestering her.

Just as Rebecca opened her mouth to speak, Billy beat her to it.

“So, we’ve been dancing around this, but do you wanna talk about what that blonde girl was telling me about?” He asked, and the itch was gone. He read her mind perfectly, or maybe they were just in tune; she liked either option.

“Yes. If you don't mind.”

“Great, me too. But let's do it in person, if you don't mind.”

“Wait, what?”

“I wanna see you. If it's alright with you, let's hold off ‘till I can.” Billy said, “I have… some things I wanna say too.”

Rebecca was honestly speechless, her heart felt like it would pound out of her chest at any moment.

“Rebecca?” The sound of her name in his voice slightly startled her, but deepened her endearment all the same.

“Yes, that's fine. I want to see you, too. Of course I do.” She answered, a bit rushed.

“Okay. Let's leave it here for now. I’ll talk to you soon.” He hesitated for a moment, “Goodbye, Rebecca.”

Before she could say it back, the line died, leaving an odd combination of excitement and panic. The two vastly different emotions fought for Rebecca’s attention, but in the end, excitement won.

With that decided on, she desperately needed to sleep on this. Maybe that would help to ease her frazzled nerves.

Chapter Text

Today was the day.

Billy and Rebecca would finally reunite. A twisted knot of anxiety weighed heavy in Rebecca’s stomach, but in her heart, excitement fluttered.

All day at work, her composure was held together by threads; her typical focused demeanor replaced by obvious tension. She opted to leave early. It seemed like the best thing to do, but it left her at home far too soon, waiting for Billy to arrive as they had sorted out over the phone. She never did find out where exactly he was living now, but he did say his flight would be fairly long.

She spent her newfound free time cleaning her already quite tidy home, and once she was satisfied with that she changed her clothes. Then she changed again, and again. She nearly went through her whole wardrobe before settling on an outfit she liked; which consisted of a green polo and dark wash jeans.

With one less thing to stress over, she finally took a moment to sit down and relax. She took a breath—and took a few more—breathing with intention.

“It’ll be fine.” She reassured herself, “I can't mess it up that bad. He’s flying all this way to see me, after all.”

As if on cue, right as Rebecca was pep talking herself into a positive attitude, the sound of a knock on the door froze her in her thoughts. Like clockwork, she rose from the couch and slowly walked to the front door. Anxiously, her hand hovered over the doorknob.

That was, until another louder knock came, startling her. She turned the knob quickly and opened the door, sighing greatly when she saw it was just her elderly neighbor.

“You took a very long time to answer the door.” Her neighbor said, holding out an envelope, “Your mail was delivered to my mailbox.”

“I’m sorry, I was expecting someone else.” Rebecca said, although it didn't explain why she took so long, “Thank you, that's very kind,” She added, taking the envelope.

The neighbor just shook her head in confusion and walked away. Rebecca retreated back inside her home, hoping Billy’s arrival wouldn't be quite as anxiety inducing. She examined the envelope, noting the lack of a return address but the sender’s name was present and it happened to be none other than Chris Redfield.

Something about that was very unnerving. Chris had no reason to be sending letters to Rebecca, at least, not unless something was wrong.

Before she could let the thought spiral any further, she opened the letter quickly and exhaled the biggest sigh of relief she could manage. It was a postcard. A postcard. She seriously needed to chill the fuck out.

On the front showed an illustration of the famous Roman colosseum and on the back a message was written, it read: “Hey Rebecca, hope you're doing alright. I’m on ‘mandated’ vacation with Claire. Leon should be here too but he's stubborn as hell and turned us down. He said he’d ‘take it easy’ but I doubt it. If you happen to hear from him, tell him the Redfields are gonna kick his ass into relaxation …” She didn't get to finish reading what else he wrote as suddenly...

Knock knock knock

Oh, again? It was probably her neighbor, maybe she needed something else. Perhaps to scold Rebecca for daring to have her mail sent to the wrong address, even though the address did look correct on the envelope. Regardless, she shrugged it off and went to open the door.

However, when she did, it was not her neighbor waiting at her doorstep. It was the guest she had been expecting all along, the one who had caused her original anxieties.

It was Billy.

He looked a bit different, older and tired, but most of all he was undeniably Billy Coen. The very same Rebecca had fallen head over heels in love with.

“Oh.” She said aloud, by mistake.

“Oh?” He repeated, grinning, “Sorry, is this a bad time?”

She shook her head, “No, this is a perfect time.”

He sighed in relief, “Good, I was worried you might be busy.” He gestured to the mail in her hand.

She looked down at it, then back at him, “Oh, no this is just a postcard from Chris, this is nothing,” She tossed it onto a small table beside the doorway before stepping aside, “Please, come in.”

“Thanks.” He stepped in and took off his shoes, noticing hers lined up at the entryway, “Sorry, I think I’m a little later than I said I’d be. I was nervous.”

He was nervous? If only he knew how this whole situation was driving her entirely insane.

“Well, you’re not the only one.” She admitted—though to a lesser degree than what was true—as she welcomed him into the living room space. Overall, her home was modestly decorated, but the one outstanding feature was a grand piano.

The piano scarcely got used, only on the rare occasion when Rebecca hosted house parties with her friends and colleagues. Then, after a fair bit of convincing on Chris’s part, would Jill give in and say, “Fine, fine, but I’m really out of practice, I don't know how I’ll do,” before proceeding to play the most beautiful song they’d ever heard.

But that was then, they didn't do that so much anymore, not since…

Oh, he’s talking.

“...about something?” Billy asked, she only caught the last half of his question, so far into her own thoughts.

“What?”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” He said, “You were thinking about something, yeah? What's on your mind?”

“I was just reminiscing… about fun times I’ve had with my friends.” She answered, “I shouldn't do that, though. You just got here, I should give you my full attention.”

“No, it’s fine. Because you were reminiscing, I got to see such a beautiful expression on your face.” Billy said, “You looked so peaceful.”

Rebecca could feel herself turning red, but she contained her reaction the best she could.

“I’m glad you see it that way, “ She said as she sat on the couch.

Billy followed her lead, sitting nearby, yet still out of reach, “So, please stop me if I’m out of line, and I’m sorry if I’m being too forward by asking this, but is Chris someone special to you?” He asked tentatively.

It took a moment to register what he was really asking, but once it did, Rebecca shook her head, “No. He's a work friend. Mm, a friend. He's on a very rare vacation with his sister right now,” She started, “His boyfriend was supposed to go with them, but he hates taking a break. He's a major workaholic.”

That was a bit of a lie. Chris and Leon were not dating but it was practically common knowledge that were definitely fucking. Everyone was just waiting around for them to man up and make it official.

Oh well, it's okay to fib a tiny bit to ease Billy’s concerns.

Speaking of, Billy nodded in understanding, smiling just slightly.

Feeling a sudden strike of confidence, Rebecca said, “You have nothing to worry about, Billy. I only have eyes for you.” She regretted it immediately, looking away and covering her face, “That was so embarrassing, sorry.”

Unfortunately for her, she didn't get to see the lovestruck look on Billy’s face. Maybe she'd be less embarrassed if she had.

After a beat, he responded, “Don't apologize to me. Please, say whatever comes to mind. I want to hear everything you have to say.”

When she finally gathered the courage to face him again, he avoided her gaze.

“I guess we should talk… about things.” He said, suddenly sounding quite gloomy.

Rebecca was taken aback by his shift in demeanor, but simply nodded in agreement.

“So, that blonde girl…” He started, pausing as he tried to recall her name.

“Sherry.”

“Right, Sherry, had a lot to say to me. I assume you know all about that, considering she said it was your message. And I can also assume it wasn't a complete lie, right?”

“That’s correct.” She hesitated for a moment, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sense of guilt, “I can't help but feel the need to apologize. I did not ask her to look for you, she did that on her own, but if I really wanted to I could've stopped her. And… the truth is, I really wanted to find you. But now I feel like I’ve intruded on your life, or perhaps made you feel obligated to see me.”

Billy sighed, in a way that sounded utterly exhausted, “Rebecca, I’m just gonna tell you exactly what’s in my head, and hopefully that will bring you peace of mind.”

Rebecca’s anxieties only heightened at that response.

“Alright, Rebecca, here's the truth. I can't say I’ve been so devoted to the memory of you, as you may have been to mine. But, you’ve come up in my mind so many times over the years, in my best times and in my worst.” He confessed, “I always wondered what happened to you. I hoped you made it out alive from that mansion. I never understood why you'd go through all that shit and then immediately wander into another horrible situation. At the time I told myself it didn't matter because we were done, and I was a new man, or something like that.”

Rebecca listened intently, the tense feeling in her chest releasing just slightly.

He sighed, continuing on, “But it was all a lie, as soon as I turned my back it felt wrong. I wanted to turn right back and go to you, and tell you to come with me instead. I don't know what good that would've done, you're obviously doing just fine, but in the moment, y’know.”

As Rebecca caught up with his words and registered what they meant, her expression changed to one of surprise. “You're being honest?” She asked.

“Yeah! I’m kinda laying myself on the line here, try not to doubt me, please?”

Rebecca nodded, “Right, sorry.” She said, quickly, “So, is this your way of politely turning me down?”

Billy’s shoulders slumped and his head fell in the most comical way Rebecca had ever seen. What a drama queen.

“No, Rebecca, listen to me,” He said, turning towards her and holding her gently by the shoulders, “When I watched you walk away from me that day, I knew I was losing someone important. And even then, I still walked away.”

Rebecca's mind nearly went silent at the feeling of Billy's warm hands, but she pushed through the silence to find a response and asked, “Why?”

“I don't know.” Billy said, and he was being earnest, “I’ve tried not to think too much about it, to be fair. At least, until these last few weeks. And now I might have somewhat of an idea.”

“And that is?”

“I wasn't ready for someone like you in my life, but now I am.”

Needless to say, Rebecca was taken aback, “What's that supposed to mean? ‘Someone like you’? Is there something wrong with me?”

“No! I mean, someone as incredible as you. Y’know, as strong and as capable as you. That's what I meant,” He said, his hands falling from her shoulders, “To be honest with you, I wasn't all that happy with myself back then. I didn't think I matched up with your standards, that's… what I’m saying.”

Rebecca was shocked by this, Billy’s confident disposition back then would have told her otherwise.

“Do you understand me now?” He asked, looking slightly flustered after pouring his heart out.

“I do. And you know my feelings, but I’ll tell you them again myself,” She said, “I know it’s strange, but during our short time together I fell in love with you, and since then it’s only grown stronger. I’ve never had interest in anyone else, because my mind only thought of you.”

“I have one major concern.” The words cut through Rebecca like a blade, but he continued on, “What if… No, I’m not the same person I used to be, not the same person you fell for. All this time you've been loving the idea of a past version of me. What if… you don't love this version of me?”

Ah, could this be old insecurities creeping out? Although it was a valid concern.

“Billy, do you honestly think my love is so shallow? I didn't fall in love with your looks or something stupid like that, I fell in love with you.” She said, “And of course, I expected you may have changed, but so have I. We're both a fair bit older now, it's only natural to evolve over time. If you stayed exactly the same I’d be a little concerned.”

“Fair point. I guess I just don't want to disappoint you. You've had all these years to imagine what I might be like now, and now that I’m here, I feel a bit…” Billy stopped himself, pausing for a second, “I just want to meet your expectations, whatever they might be.”

Rebecca frowned at his response.

“I don't have any expectations. If you can't give me a relationship, or even a friendship, I’ll be happy because I was able to see you again today.” She told him, and it was true, she expected nothing of him but was willing to give her all.

The conversation fell quiet for a beat, before suddenly Billy began to laugh. He laughed in a way that was clearly not directed at her, but sounded so free and happy.

“I didn't mean to laugh, it’s just, you’re so sincere. It’s really adorable,” He said, “I’ve gotten used to being around deceitful people. To me, you're like the light at the end of the tunnel right now.”

A few beats of silence lingered between them before Rebecca found it in herself to speak again.

“So what does this mean? As I’m sure you can imagine, I don't exactly have experience with this sort of… subject,” She said, “And you've got a few years on me so I’m sure you have experience, and over these years you probably entertained some relationships, at least to assimilate in society.”

“What does this mean?” He repeated, seemingly deaf to the rest of what she said. Then all of the sudden, he nodded decidedly and said, “It means, I’ve found a place to call home.”

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” She asked, afraid she had heard him wrong.

He turned his gaze to meet hers, “That might’ve come out wrong. I’m not gonna take over your place or anything, if that's what you thought. I just mean, I’m gonna move here, to this city. So I can be closer to you, because that’s where I need to be.”

Rebecca was using every ounce of her self-restraint to hold back from telling him something crazy like ‘no no, please move in with me, Billy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted’.

What she actually said was, “Billy, I love you…”

Oh, that wasn't very restrained, either.

These weeks of tension and years of yearning were finally boiling over, she couldn't contain it any longer. She felt as if her body had a gravitational pull to him, like the blood in her veins moved in his direction, anything just to get her close to him.

Billy’s eyes widened slightly, somehow surprised at the confession as if it wasn't the whole reason he was even there, “Rebecca, I love—”

He was promptly cut off by Rebecca nearly knocking him over as she caught him in a sudden embrace. After half a second, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her in his lap. He exhaled, and although she couldn't see from where her face was tucked, she could tell he was smiling.

“You didn't let me finish.” He said softly.

“You weren't gonna say you love someone else, were you?” Rebecca murmured.

“No, I love you.”

Rebecca nodded, closing her eyes and inhaling the scent of his cologne. Her heartbeat calmed, the tension she had been feeling was gone, she was exactly where she needed to be.

“Billy.” She spoke up after a few moments of easy silence.

“Mhm?”

“I want you to live with me.” She said, no hesitation in her voice. It didn't seem all that crazy of a request anymore.

Billy didn't answer right away, but Rebecca wasn't anxious, she couldn't be while in his arms.

“You're sure?”

“Positive.” She said, “I want nothing more than to be with you.”

He pulled back slightly, just enough to see her face, “Alright then, I’ll move in with you.”

She smiled, overwhelmed with happiness. Comfortable quietness lingered between them, and within it Rebecca found the confidence to bring her hand to his lower jaw, absentmindedly stroking her thumb over his bottom lip. Her eyes occasionally flipped between his lips and his eyes, mentally testing the waters.

“Can I—” Now she was the one being cut off.

“Go for it.” He said, sounding very amused.

That was all the consent she needed before she leaned it and captured his lips in a soft kiss, the hand on his jaw moving to the back of his neck. Billy pulled her closer, deepening the kiss and coaxing a soft moan out of her. Although she lacked experience, her enthusiasm more than made up for it, and she kissed him like she needed him; because she did.

When they finally parted, Rebecca was breathless and faintly light-headed. Billy chuckled, pressing a kiss to her jaw, “I think I’m a pretty lucky guy. I'm getting another chance at life, again.”

“You're surprisingly optimistic.” She said.

“I have a reason to be optimistic now, things to look forward to.”

Rebecca smiled, she couldn't agree more. She didn't know what their future would hold but whatever it would be she'd face it with Billy by her side. Her dream, the one she'd been dreaming for over a decade had finally come to life and it was even more beautiful that she had imagined.

Chapter Text

Just as Rebecca was drifting off to sleep, the sound of her phone vibrating on the bedside table pulled her from the depths of unconsciousness. It wasn't a work call, otherwise it’d be ringing, so she mentally dismissed it. She yawned, blinking slowly and re-adjusting her position. It was late, whoever was calling could wait for the morning, and if it was an emergency they'd call again. She was just too tired to talk to anyone right now.

The buzzing continued, for what seemed like too long, Rebecca sighed. She gave in and reached out for her phone. The screen blinded her even at a low brightness, but she made out the contact name, ‘Sherry Birkin’. Her stomach dropped, she answered immediately.

“Sherry?” She said in a hushed voice, moving to climb out of bed.

“Rebecca? Did I wake you up? I’m so sorry. I just needed to talk to you.” Sherry replied on the other line.

“I almost didn't answer, is everything okay? What's going on?” She asked, quietly exiting the room.

“Everything's fine. I was just doing some thinking.” Sherry paused for a moment, ”I know it’s been quite a while, but I was finally giving some real thought to what you told me that day, in your office. That if I wanted to leave my job, and do something else, something more normal, that was okay. Do you still think that's true?”

Hearing the topic of Sherry’s conversion woke Rebecca right up, and she replied, “Absolutely, you can do whatever you want, Sherry. You still have your whole life ahead of you.”

“Mm, I think I’m going to. At least for a little while… I might take some time off.” She said, “My entire life has been so strange, I want to experience some actual normal things. Whatever that means.”

“I want that for you, and you'll figure out what it means for you. Don't worry about fitting the standard, do what you want.” Rebecca responded, hesitating just slightly, “Are you doing okay though? Genuinely okay?”

Sherry chuckled into the speaker, “Yeah, I’m very happy. Talking to you made me feel… at peace.”

“That actually sounds more concerning.”

“Rebecca, I'm fine. I'm great, honestly.” Sherry told her, laughing.

Rebecca sighed, “Okay, okay. You just kinda freaked me out calling so late. I thought someone died.”

“Sorry, I know it wasn't super urgent or anything, but for me… I kind of needed to talk about it right away. But I’ll let you go, thanks again for the guidance. Goodnight, Rebecca.” With that, Sherry hung up and the line went silent.

Rebecca sighed again, from what she wasn’t quite sure. When she turned back to return to her bedroom she was frightened half to death by Billy's frame in the dim light. “Ah!”, she exclaimed aloud, making him flinch in surprise. Though, she quickly realized it was not an intruder or something worse, and held her phone to her chest, exhaling a breath of relief.

“Oh, it's just you, Billy, sorry. Did I wake you up?” She asked.

Billy chuckled sleepily, approaching her slowly, “Nah, just noticed you weren't there and I came to find you.”

Rebecca’s smile widened and she stepped forward to close the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his midsection. She hummed with satisfaction and said, “Mm, so I did wake you. Well, I didn't really wanna get up either but I had to take a call from Sherry.”

“Everything okay?” Billy asked, his arms loosely draped around her.

“Yep,” She yawned, “It's all good. Now, I wanna go back to sleep.”

Billy nodded, “Head to bed, doll. I think I’m gonna have a late night snack, I'm kinda hungry.”

“I’ll come too.”

“But, you're sleepy. You should go back to bed, I’ll be there in just a minute.”

She shook her head stubbornly, pulling away and making her way to the kitchen. Again, Billy chuckled, following after her like the loyal man he had become.

Rebecca switched on the light over the stove before claiming a seat atop the kitchen island. Once more, she yawned, shutting her eyes for a moment, listening to the faint sound of Billy moving about the kitchen; gathering his snack ingredients, probably peanut butter, jelly, and bread if she knew him at all.

“Want a bite?” He offered after a short while and she opened her eyes to the sight of Billy holding out half a pb&j. She knew him very well, of course she did.

She smiled and happily took a bite.

Billy grinned at the sight, “You're so cute. God, I love you.”

Rebecca’s heart swelled, she didn't know if she'd ever get used to hearing him say things like that.

“I love you too.” She replied, a rosy flush of faint embarrassment rising to her cheeks.

“Hey now, don't look at me like that.”

“Huh? Like what? I’m, hey! I’m not looking like anything.” She said quickly, turning away.

Billy chuckled, “Alright, alright.” He shook his head, turning away as he ate his sandwich, putting up the things he had used with his unoccupied hand.

Rebecca sighed, glancing over at the clock, barely making out the time in the dim light; it read 2:15. She had to wake up in three hours, or rather she chose to. Maybe she needed to do some thinking on her career as well.

“Becca.” Billy’s voice pulled her eyes back to him, he was in front of her again, and apparently finished with his midnight snack. “You okay?”

She nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Billy frowned, unsatisfied with her answer. He anchored his hands on either side of her, leaning in slightly, “Don't do that, I wanna know what you're thinking. I know you're fine, but not really, right?”

Oh man, suddenly she couldn't breathe, but in the best way. Yeah, he was spot on and she was so happy about it. For a moment she forgot what she was stressing about.

“Yes, you're right.” Rebecca said, “Billy, I really love you.”

“I love you, too.” Billy said, leaning in further, close enough to kiss her, but instead he continued speaking, “But are you gonna tell me what you were worrying about?”

Rebecca, the sneaky woman she could be, tried to capture his lips as a distraction but Billy pulled away before she could come close enough. She huffed a disappointed sigh, “Fine, since you're being like that. It's really not a big deal, but talking with Sherry and her career kind of… sparked thoughts about mine.”

“Oh?”

“Don't get me wrong, I love my job, it's just very taxing sometimes. A lot of the time. A break would be nice but there's always something happening that I… need to deal with.” She explained.

Billy nodded, he wanted to say I understand but he really didn't, and honestly Rebecca was glad he didn't.

Since they'd been living together Billy had been working for an insurance company. He had a steady schedule, he wore a suit to work and had a decent wage, and most of all it was a perfectly ordinary job. Rebecca loved that, she wanted him to have something like that, something safe. When word got out that the Billy Coen was back from the dead, Chris Redfield didn't wait very long before trying to recruit him to the BSAA. Rebecca insisted that he didn't join—or rather begged him not to with a tear-soaked face—but at the end of it all she said she’d accept and support whatever he chose to do.

Billy never wanted to join the BSAA. He wasn't particularly interested in playing the hero or saving the world, and if getting a regular job—and lowering his chances of having another run-in with any bioweapons—was going to be that much of a relief for Rebecca then he’d be more than happy to do it. He'd do anything to put her at ease.

“Billy?”

“Huh?” Billy blinked a few times, then looked up just slightly and met Rebecca’s gaze, “What?”

“You… okay?”

He let out a delayed chuckle, “Yeah, I guess I was thinking about my career too. A little too hard.”

“Oh no.” Rebecca’s expression shifted to one of even more concern.

“No, I’m good, really. I’ll be the normal-job husband and you’ll be the interesting-job wife.” He said, grinning.

“What?!” She blurted out, a blush creeping up her cheeks.

“Yeah! I guess like a top-secret job wife, cause you're that cool.”

Rebecca covered her face with her hands, “Stop! You're embarrassing me.”

“What's embarrassing about it? You know we're gonna get married eventually, isn't that the point?”

Slowly, she removed her hands, looking at Billy like she couldn't believe what she’d just heard. She thought on it for a beat, two beats, three… before she pulled him in and kissed him. He leaned into it, his hands finding her thighs, just to ground himself. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, but she needed him just a moment longer. If it was even possible, she drew him closer, then pulled away from his lips.

Exhaustion hit her all at once and she slumped against Billy’s chest, “I’m tired.” She mumbled.

“Me too, back to bed, hm?”

Rebecca hummed in agreement, allowing herself to be lifted from the countertop. She wrapped her arms around Billy’s neck, nearly dozing off by the time they were back to their bedroom.

“We made it, still awake?” Billy asked, now sounding just as tired as Rebecca felt. He laid her down on her side of the bed and she climbed under the blankets lazily.

Once Billy was by her side, she quickly snuggled up to him, taking in all of his warmth and immediately getting comfortable. As Rebecca began drifting to sleep, a thought lingered in her mind.

If all those years she thought she was in love with Billy, she was devastatingly wrong, because over the last six months she had finally been able to truly fall in love with him. She saw his flaws, his strengths, all of him, and she loved every part of him. Everyday she woke up and chose to love him. Everyday she fell in love more and more. Everyday she woke up with him by her side and went to sleep with him there too, and that’s how she wanted her to continue living.