Archive of Our Own ^beta

Anne Shirley-Cuthbert had always had a lot of ideas about love. For as long as she could remember, she dreamed of it. A dashing, mysterious, and devastatingly handsome young man would come and sweep her off her feet and she would fall in love and be loved in return. He would be new and exciting, wax poetically, read Tennyson, and adore her for every hour of the day. She would know instantly that he was the only one for her. It would feel straight from the pages of a romantic novel, packed to the brim with gothic drama and daring acts of bravery. She had spent countless hours dreaming of that moment when love struck her fully and completely. 

What she hadn't imagined was the face of a certain infuriating schoolboy creeping into these visions over the course of a year. At first, it was a fluke, she had reasoned. He was just the only boy she knew that could possibly hold a candle to what she truly wanted, so clearly her brain had filled him in without consulting her heart at all. Soon, a once-in-a-while occurrence became a nightly one and none other than Gilbert Blythe would come strolling into her every fantasy. Whether she was a mysterious author living by the sea or raising ten children right there in Avonlea, Gilbert Blythe would walk through the door in each dream, curly hair falling charmingly over his masculine brow and smug grin permanently affixed to his lips. Well, at least until he would lean in and press them against hers. Anne tried not to think any further about them, resolving to forget and forget and forget. 

However, despite her dreaming and forgetting and pleading, there was no point in denying the reality now. It was plain as day to her that afternoon after dance practice. She was in love with Gilbert Blythe. He had clawed his way into her good graces and somehow managed to secure the very spot in her heart she had vowed to keep warded off. She had spent years ignoring him and arguing at every turn only to end up in the one place she thought she would never be: hopelessly in love. He most certainly was not her childhood ideal.

Besides, she was the bride of adventure for goodness's sakes! She was supposed to be a modern woman, or almost-woman. She was almost sixteen, there was still so much life to live! She had ambitions and hopes. Frankly, she had thought she was above a schoolhouse crush that had sent all the other girls into a frenzy over the past few years. Yet, it felt hopeless to deny any longer. Gilbert Blythe had taken over her mind and senses wholly. She felt utterly foolish when she thought about him, all of the things that were totally innocuous on others were amplified on him. His hearty laugh heard across the yard at lunch was enough to make her heart skip a beat. His voice in class made it hard to concentrate on her own papers. Anne would never let a boy get in the way of her education, but Gilbert had come pretty close over the past month. She huffed to herself as she gathered the clothes from the line that afternoon, furiously placing the sheets and garments in the basket at her hip. 

Before she had left the house to collect the laundry, Marilla had noticed Anne's volatile mood but had kept her mouth shut so as to not further anger the girl. Lord knows what she's like when she was all wound up. Still, Anne trekked through the lawn at Green Gables, basket held out in front of her, practically steaming at her own naivety. 

She had felt like Elizabeth Bennett dancing with her Mr. Darcy, but who's to say Gilbert even noticed her? Sure, he spun her out of time at one point but he must’ve thought it funny. It was just last week that he had caught her and Diana covered in mud after trying to keep Daisy the cow from running into Mrs. Lynde's orchard. He had stood, towering over the two girls, in just his workwear, the buttons on his light cotton shirt open revealing a sliver of his tanned chest. When Anne had begrudgingly requested help out of her predicament, Gilbert had merely shook his head chuckingly, claiming to be not that foolish when it came to her tricks. He said that he knew she would try and pull him in with the two of them as soon as he reached out. Anne couldn't lie and say that the thought hadn't crossed her mind, but she felt her anger rise as he helped Diana up, and she did so with the utmost grace before directing her to help Anne out. The audacity to not even offer her a hand!

But, today he had offered her his hand, willingly and openly in front of all of their classmates. She felt her cheeks redden at the memory of it, calloused and warm, in her own. She hadn't expected his hand to feel so large against hers and she suppressed the thrill it gave her at the thought. He had stood so close to her during the dance, pulling her in for a few tantalizing seconds before parting once more. She could see the specks of green amongst the brown of his irises when she was that close to him, the way they shone with playful mirth as the music led them through the steps. His delightfully pointed chin had stuck out in mock-sincerity as they spun in time with their classmates, drawing attention to his new and prominent jawline. 

Of course she had noticed all of the changes in her academic rival and tentative friend. It was impossible not to. He had grown taller after returning from his time away, anyone could see that. But, he had also grown broader, his shoulders more shapely and his torso lean and long. His face had become more defined, no longer soft and boyish but rather sharp-edged and striking. The ladies in town always seemed to comment on how well he had grown up and tittered to themselves over it. There was no ignoring his handsomeness, Anne had reasoned, only to ignore  the way her stomach would jump when he got close to her. He was still Gilbert, plain Gilbert who tugged her braids and competed with her in the spelling bee. Certainly his handsomeness wouldn't change that. She would admit that he might’ve made some beautiful, mysterious woman a fine partner some day. She thought that his wife would've been brunette. Now she understood her particular attention to his looks as something much more infuriating. 

She felt her mind wander further. What would his hands feel like against her face or her back, holding her close and keeping her safe? Her body held in continuous closeness with his, his hazel eyes boring into her own. Would his hands cool her warmed cheeks? What would it feel like to place her lips against that endearingly pointed chin? Abruptly, she regained control of her thoughts and audibly scoffed at herself suddenly as she nudged open the screen door to Green Gables. 

"Anne, when you've put those away please wash up for supper," Marilla called from the kitchen. The smell of roasted vegetables wafted into the hallway where Anne had entered and she realized how hungry she had gotten suddenly. She hurried up the stairs to unload the linens and wash up.

.-.-.

The few weeks that followed Anne's sudden realization were torturous. Gilbert Blythe had become unavoidable. Anne had thought that with the term coming to an end and summer officially beginning, she could successfully ignore him until the Barry's summer picnic where she would be so preoccupied with the Queen's decisions and all of the other busybodies of Avonlea that she would barely have to say one word to him. Unfortunately, she had never been more wrong.

While school was still in session, he popped up around every corner, asking her about their extra reading or how she was feeling about the entrance exams. She kept her answers short and polite, never indulging in her want to verbally spar with him. He meandered with her on her walk home, never explicitly asking to walk with her but joining her nonetheless and dropping her at the gate to Green Gables. She would spend the whole time ignoring his attempts at conversation and focusing intently on the path in front of her. He had even complimented her orating on the final day, expressing how he would miss her impassioned recitations in class. She had turned bright red at his words and struggled to meet his eyes, muttering a quick thank you before rushing off to join the girls in celebration.

Despite her dedication to ignoring him, he persisted as if nothing had changed. He took her silences in stride, merely smiling ruefully and continuing on. She wasn't entirely rude, the two had struck up somewhat of a friendship in the last few months, but she was certainly noticeably different with him. On one of their final walks home, he had managed to persuade her into an argument about the importance of Shakespeare. The review session that day had covered the playwright thoroughly and Anne had felt particularly impassioned. It wasn't until they approached Green Gables that she realized she had been rambling for a good portion of the walk and he had been dutifully listening as always. To add to her embarrassment, he had been wearing an infuriating smile the whole time. Upon this realization, Anne had huffed out a mumbled apology for getting carried away and hurried through the gate and towards the door without waiting for his response, even when she heard him call her name in surprise. The interaction left her irritable for days.

Once class had let out for good, Anne had reasoned that she would be rid of the Blythe boy for the summer and that she could get over her futile, sentimental feelings in peace. Once again however, he could not be shaken off that easily. She hadn't realized how intertwined their two families had suddenly become. Mary would come over frequently, little Delphine in tow, to have tea with Marilla. She would also frequently and infuriatingly drag Gilbert along, claiming that all he did was work on the farm and stick his nose in his book. Anne and Gilbert would be handed a giggling Dellie and told to entertain her for the remainder of the afternoon while the women had tea and prattled away. It would seem that the universe had something against her in these moments.

Gilbert would smile boyishly at her and scoop up his niece immediately. Anne would be lying if she pretended her heart didn't skip a beat at the sight of him with a bouncing baby cradled in his arms. His eyes shining with affection as he raised his eyebrows and made silly faces down at the infant. Eventually she would snap out of her thoughts and lead him out to the back porch and the two would do just as they were told.

On one of the first instances of this, Dellie fell asleep almost as soon as they had settled outside. She had curled up, yawned, and calmed in her uncle's arms without another fuss. Both teenagers stared down at the little girl in surprise. Secretly, they had been using the infant as a bit of a shield during these afternoons and were stunned for a moment when they couldn't default to cooing over her incessantly. Gilbert cleared his throat quietly.

"How do you think you did on the entrance exams?" he asked, voice quieter than usual so as not to disturb the sleeping baby in his arms. 

"I'm not sure," she admitted honestly, "the longer I wait for the results the more I rethink all of my answers. I was so nervous that day that I can barely remember what I wrote regardless," She kept her voice flippant in delivery but the words were still true. 

"Anne Shirley-Cuthbert? Nervous? I never thought I'd see the day," he smirked as he said this, eyes twinkling with the teasing. She found herself falling back into their old habits of bantering. 

"Oh, like you weren't nervous, Gilbert," Anne rolled her eyes at his weak jest. 

"Oh, I was petrified. But, you had no reason to be nervous, you're going to get first place," Gilbert began to rock Dellie lightly in his arms. He said the statement like it was fact, so nonchalantly that Anne's mouth dropped open like a fish.

"As if you aren't just as likely to get first!" Anne exclaimed. She couldn't believe him, he must've been joking. He had always been the smartest boy in school. Everyone knew this! Anne knew this, as much as it pained her to admit at times. But, she could be sensible, especially when Gilbert Blythe was talking nonsense and she could put him in his place. 

"Anne, you're the smartest, most dedicated person I know. I'm willing to bet everything that you got first," Gilbert again spoke simply, but his face was gravely serious and his eyes were smoldering as he stared into hers. Anne gulped at the intensity of his gaze.

She sat dumbstruck for a moment. She knew Gilbert at least thought of her as a formidable academic rival, that much had been clear. She certainly bested him in literature time and time again. But his assertion that she would be first, before him and all the hundred other students who had taken the examination had shocked her. It made her heart feel like it was soaring out of her chest and she found it difficult to speak. She looked away from him first, staring off to the side at the long grass peeking through the fence around the back porch. 

"Thank you, Gil," Anne began quietly, still looking away. "But, if I have gotten first then you must have also gotten it. We are equally matched."

She looked up at him again after speaking. He was still staring at her, his eyes unreadable but fiery. She knew her face must be flushed red and willed her skin to cool. His face broke out in a small smile. She offered him a small smile in return. 

"Alright, we'll be tied then," he conceded, now smiling at her cheekily and still rocking Dellie. The infant had stayed perfectly peaceful until that very moment where she began to fuss slightly in his arms.

Anne suddenly leaned over the arms of their chairs to get a better look at her. Dellie's face was scrunched slightly and she began letting out soft, unhappy noises, not crying just yet but on her way there. Anne quietly shushed her and began to reach out to caress her face and smooth out her bunched up expression. Gilbert brought the baby closer to her as she did so. They shushed her in unison for a couple moments, successfully calming Dellie down and she burst out laughing as Gilbert started pulling faces at her. Anne found herself giggling along as Gilbert made his eyebrows dance across his forehead and contorted his mouth into a variety of expressions. From then on, she rarely minded his visits to Green Gables.

.-.-.

The day of the Barry picnic came faster than Anne could've predicted. She had spent her days out of school waiting in anticipation for her exam results. She loved all the seasons in Avonlea equally, although she had a particular soft spot for the early days of summer. Thus, she had spent as much time as possible outside, picking bouquets and frolicking with Diana and the other girls. The visits from Mary, Dellie, and Gilbert had occupied many of her afternoons and she felt the time pass quickest then. It was in this interim period, Diana had managed to convince her parents to allow her to attend Queens if she passed after revealing that she had taken the entrance exam as well. Anne had almost fallen over herself to hug Mrs. Barry once Diana had told her despite the older woman's dismay. 

The morning of the picnic, Anne sat solemnly at Diana's vanity as the brunette fiddled with her hair for what felt like hours. Anne was terribly nervous. What if she hadn't placed at all? What would she do? Yet, there was also some excitement. She could be going to college with her dearest friend. She would be entering adulthood surrounded by chums that despite their differences, she appreciated endlessly. She vowed to keep her mind from wandering to a certain curly-haired farm boy yet it wandered anyways. He would see her, standing in those hallowed halls and looking terribly grown up. He would see her succeeding in her classes, walking the grounds with the grace and poise of a young lady. Maybe she could change his mind, make him see her as something more than an Avonlea school girl.

"Oh my dearest Diana, it's no use, my hair will never hold these curls for as long as your exquisite ebony locks do," Anne moaned, shifting out of Diana's grasp and turning to look at her closest friend. 

"Nonsense, we can get it to work if you would stop fidgeting," Diana placed her hands on Anne's shoulders and turned her back towards the mirror. She made quick work of the rest of the pins and began running her fingers through certain areas to add volume. Suddenly, her fingers stopped and she stepped back. "There! Oh Anne, you look marvelous!"

Anne peeked at herself in the mirror for the first time in a while. She was shocked to see some of her hair piled on her head in elegant braids while the rest tumbled down her back in voluminous curls. She was stunned at how grown-up she looked. Soon, she would be expected to wear her hair up all the time. She felt almost beautiful like this and smiled at her reflection. 

"Diana, how can I thank you enough, you've made me almost beautiful," Anne thanked teary-eyed as she turned and clasped her friend's hand between her own. She brought the hand to her lips and kissed it in admiration.

"Anne, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. The hairstyle suits you marvelously and your hair has started to look more auburn recently," Diana smiled down at Anne indulgently. 

"Please don't jest, you know how my hair vexes me!" Anne exclaimed dramatically, standing from her seat and crossing to Diana's bed where their dresses were laid out delicately. 

"You know I am not teasing," Diana spoke sincerely and joined her bosom friend at her bed. "You have certainly matured in both looks and attitude... And I am not the only one to have noticed."

Anne scoffed at Diana's last statement. She knew her bosom friend believed half the boys in their class to be thoroughly in love with Anne, especially a certain future doctoral student. Anne felt her face heat inadvertently as her mind wandered to what Gilbert would think of her new hair. She shook her head to erase those thoughts. Sensibly, she reminded herself that he would have no reason to notice. 

"Please Diana, how could any of them notice me with you standing there, absolutely stunning and captivating, especially in this blue!" Anne reached out and held Diana's dress against her friend's frame. The dress was certainly intricate and expensive. The fabric was a deep blue with intricate white lace detailing around the sleeves and collar. The sleeves were of course, puffed but also had two extra ruffles at the shoulder. To top it all off, Diana planned to wear a delicate string of pearls around her neck. She adored those pearls on her friend. Anne thought she had never seen anything more beautiful than when Diana had tried it all on for her days before. 

Anne herself was wearing the green dress she always wore for special occasions. She had mostly outgrown it now, but Marilla reasoned that there was no reason to purchase a new one when she would be buying her adult clothes so soon. Anne had grumbled over the sensibility and now felt even sillier next to Diana's stunning new outfit. Her green dress was perfectly lovely, but matched with her pale complexion, freckles, and red hair, the dress looked incongruous to the wearer in Anne's mind. Add on to the fact that the dress was now a bit too tight around the chest, shoulders, and hips, Anne knew she stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Thank you, Anne," Diana professed sincerely, taking the dress from her and spinning girlishly. The two began spinning and dancing with excitement over the afternoon's festivities and the impending knowledge of their exam scores.

By the time Anne and Diana descended the back porch steps of the Barry home, the picnic had fully begun. Most of Avonlea was strolling along in the Barry garden, enjoying the vibrant and colorful flowers and the refreshing lemonade that the women had set up in the parlor. Anne and Diana entered together, arms looped together and felt so very grown up. 

As soon as they were spotted, the other girls rushed over to greet them. Ruby was the first to get there and enveloped the two of them in an embrace. She was wearing a darling baby pink dress with little white flower details all along the skirt. Anne felt stunned at the girl's sudden affection.

"Anne, Diana, the results! Ms. Stacy has just arrived and promised to tell us!" The blonde burst out, panting after her mad dash to the two girls. Soon, Jane, Tillie, and Josie joined the three of them, all equally excited and resplendent in their dresses.

Jane had opted for a lilac dress with a white tulle bow around her neck. Her hair was pulled back and to the side, cascading elegantly down her back. Tillie was wearing a yellow dress with a variety of bows and frills. She looked startlingly mature and Anne admired the wondrous chintz. Josie had worn a dress that was mostly white with blue accents such as ribbons around the collar and cuffs and embroidery throughout. Unlike the others, she looked entirely cool despite the circumstance, although Anne suspected she was just as nervous as the rest of them. 

The group hurried over to the oak tree at the far end of the Barry garden where Miss Stacy stood alongside the boys in the class. Each of them was speaking animatedly at their teacher, begging for her to just tell them but she ignored their pleas as she waited for the girls to join the group. Anne held her breath as she approached the tree. She felt queasy suddenly and didn't know if she could face what was about to happen. If it weren't for Diana's arm in hers, she was sure she would fall to her knees.

"Avonlea pupils, I will not keep you waiting long," Miss Stacy began as the adults and parents of Avonlea shuffled and joined the students in surrounding the oak tree. "I want to thank you all for the pleasure of teaching you over this past year. You are all supremely talented and intelligent young people. It is with great pleasure that I announce that you have all passed!"

Resounding cheers exploded in the Barry garden at that moment. Various parents and adults clapped for the cohort of teenagers as they mobbed around each other in a burst of movement. Moody whooped triumphantly as he tackled Charlie, who was standing closest to him, in a hug. The girls jumped up and down in each other's arms, cheering as well for a few moments. As Anne held Diana close, she looked beyond her friend's shoulder and spotted Gilbert. The Paul's were clapping him on the back and chatting although Gilbert appeared to not really be listening. His eyes were fixated on Anne. She felt frozen under his gaze, face as unreadable as usual. He looked happy, of course, his lips quivering slightly into a small smile. Yet, his eyes were much more serious and far away, like he was contemplating a million things at once. 

Once the students had mostly settled, all smiling and cheery, they turned to Miss Stacy awaiting for any information about their placements. Anne quickly wrenched her gaze away from Gilbert and turned to face her beloved teacher. Miss Stacy smiled knowingly at her students.

"Congratulations, all of you have worked so hard for this," she spoke earnestly and clasped her hands in front of her. "I want to issue special congratulations to Anne Shirley-Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe for receiving the title of first place together! A true tie!”

The world seemed to slow for a moment to Anne. Her head snapped across the group to Gilbert immediately and he once again, was already staring at her. Their eyes met as their classmates broke out into cheers once more. It was just like they had joked a few weeks ago on the back porch of Green Gables. The memory rang through her mind as the girls clambered over each other to hug her. Gilbert's eyes pierced into her own, slightly shocked and shining in the sun. His lips were parted just barely in surprise. Anne knew her own face must hold a mirror expression. Then, it was like they had both been snapped back to reality as their friends and classmates swarmed them with kind words and claps on the back.

"It is no small feat to place first against everyone who took the test on the island. Anne and Gilbert, you should be very proud," Miss Stacy complimented them kindly, smiling proudly at her two smartest students. 

"Thank you Miss Stacy, we couldn't have done it without you!" Anne exclaimed, regaining her voice after the kind words of her teacher. She stepped forward and the two embraced. Anne felt so grateful for the older woman in front of her. When the two parted, Miss Stacy gave her another kind smile and then turned and faced Gilbert who had moved to stand next to Anne.  

"I am so grateful for your help this past year. I will consider what you said," Gilbert thanked honestly and reached out to shake the woman's hand. Miss Stacy smiled up at the brilliant farm boy and sincerely hoped he would consider her offer. She made her way away from the students and began speaking with the other parents and adults about their miraculous success. 

The two teenagers turned to each other then with their teacher now walking away. The other school kids were still gathered but mostly speaking to themselves excitedly about what was to come upon their entrance to Queens. Anne felt herself freeze up once more under Gilbert's gaze. He felt so close now, only a couple of feet between the two of them as they stared. Anne brought her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed nervously. She didn't know what to say for fear of saying too much. In a novel, he would whisk her into his arms and plant a firm kiss to her lips, proclaiming her as the smartest girl on the island and the love of his life. They had done it! But this was no novel. Suddenly, she stuck out her hand for him to shake.

"Congratulations, Gil," she said quietly, her hand halfway between them. "You were right."

"I never thought I'd see the day, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert admitting that I was right," he teased as his hand slid into hers. For a brief moment they stood still, holding each other's hands. Then, they shook them resolutely. "You were right too, we are equally matched." 

Anne's breath caught at that. It had sounded perfectly platonic when she had said it all those days ago but now, it felt like so much more. She pulled her hand back slowly, still feeling the warmth and roughness of his hand against hers. She wanted to feel his callouses against the skin of her cheek, have him feel the burning underneath. She cursed her thoughts for making her tongue tied again and tried to calm the racing thoughts in her mind so she could respond instead of standing there struck dumb. Quickly, she averted her gaze from him to stop herself from blurting something truly embarrassing out. 

"Anne, congratulations!" Diana appeared beside her abruptly, grasping her arm. "And you too, Gilbert. It's no surprise that either of you came in first, you were always the smartest students in the class."

"Thank you, Diana," Gilbert said kindly, shifting on his feet at the unexpected praise. His eyes flitted over to Anne once again but the redhead had turned fully to Diana and began marching away towards the other girls. He sighed lightly as he watched her smile and laugh with her classmates, carefree and incandescently happy. 

The picnic was a joyous affair for the rest of the afternoon. The boys had begun a game of football briefly, although they were careful not to ruin their Sunday best while the girls lounged together to the side. The adults of Avonlea had issued their most genuine congratulations to each of the students, feeling immense pride in the brood of their little town. The Barry's had scooped Diana up in an embrace as soon as she had extricated herself from her classmates. Other parents had done the same for their kids and the teenagers had felt slightly embarrassed but mostly proud having their parents gush over them for so long. Anne was eager to return to Green Gables and let Matthew, Marilla, and Jerry know. They had declined to attend due to farm work and Anne was practically bursting out of her skin in anticipation of their surprise and admiration. Anne reasoned Gilbert probably felt the same way as Bash, Mary, and Dellie hadn't attended either.

She looked over to where Gilbert was laughing with Moody and Charlie, holding the football between his hands and throwing his head back. He looked so handsome like that, his button down slightly untucked and his jacket discarded. His skin was golden and tanned after all of his manual labor during the spring and early summer and it glistened in the mid-afternoon sun. He was in his element here, holding court for the other boys as he showed them up with his athletic skills. This wasn't a Gilbert she often saw, especially after his fathers passing. At some point he had rolled his sleeves up and Anne's eyes caught on his lean, tanned forearms. From far away she couldn't tell but she remembered from dance practice the hair that grew there. It was just another reminder of the man he had grown into. She started to feel increasingly silly in her old dress and pulled futilely at the edge of the fabric in an attempt to make it fit better.

"What do you think, Anne?" Jane's voice startled her out of her thoughts. "Should Ruby go and ask Moody to walk her home?"

Anne blanched for a moment. She hoped they hadn't noticed her staring. She looked around at the girls and realized they were all looking at her and expecting an answer.

"I think Ruby should do what she wants to do," Anne began slowly, finding her footing as she spoke. "Why should we wait for the boys to do what we want them to?"

She felt utterly hypocritical. She had failed to let Gilbert Blythe know anything about her recent feelings and in actuality had been pushing him away at every chance. Yet, here she was telling Ruby to go after what she wants. Her eyes shifted to the side guiltily. Clearly, the girls hadn't noticed her conflicting feelings at all as they tittered to each other and pushed Ruby to get up. The blonde nodded and smiled at Anne before marching over to the boys. Anne watched as she sidled up to Moody, touching his arm to get his attention, and how the other boys watched with interest as the two walked off to the side. Ruby looked so beautiful in her dress that Anne knew Moody could never say no to her. She smiled as they seemed to reach an agreement and Moody's face turned just the shade of Ruby's dress. The other boys seemed to have caught on and walked over to the girls in their own attempts at securing a companion for the walk home. 

It looked so easy for them. Each of them twirling their hair and giggling girlishly until the boy they wanted came rushing to their side. Every time she even thought about talking to, yet alone flirting with, Gilbert dread pooled in her stomach. She sighed quietly to herself, finding Diana to be the only one remaining in their little circle. 

Anne began to stand, smoothing down the skirt of her dress and brushing any dirt off of it. When she looked up, Charlie and Gilbert were both headed her way, football discarded and jackets tossed over opposite shoulders. Anne thought they looked quite the pair with their matching serious expressions and purposefully nonchalant gait across the uneven ground of the field. 

"Anne, congratulations on your placement," Charlie started, his face contorted into what could be called a smile, at least for a Sloane. Anne smiled politely back.

"Thank you, Charlie. Congratulations on yours," she looked solely at the taller boy, avoiding Gilbert's eyes completely. 

Charlie had grown up nice enough. His ears were no longer too big for his face and his height certainly made him look more manly. The Sloanes were still a particular bunch, but she had never had a real problem with Charlie. Anne thought that maybe it wouldn't be too terrible for him to accompany her home that afternoon. She thought it odd that him and Gilbert had come over together, remembering that they had had a bit of a falling out only a couple of months before during the school year. It was never totally clear what it was about. Suddenly, Gilbert couldn't stop glaring at Charlie and Charlie avoided him like the plague. Anne knew that they had mostly patched it up, but she had an inkling that whatever the problem was hadn't gone away. 

"Anne," Gilbert interjected promptly, clearly trying to get her attention. She reluctantly turned to face him. "It seems the picnic is wrapping up. May I accompany you home? I have some things to discuss with you." 

Anne stood bewildered for a moment. Gilbert had always been bold, especially when it came to her, but this was another level. He had asked to walk her home in front of all their school friends, to discuss things. What things? Surely they had discussed the exam to the ends of the earth and there wasn't anything further to say. Anne's mouth felt dry as she struggled for an answer. 

"I-I'm not sure, I must help Diana-" Anne stuttered out, but she was instantly cut off with Diana springing up next to her, a knowing smile across the brunette's face.

"Anne, you've done quite enough today! I mean, this picnic could not have happened without you. I could not bear to have you help anymore," Anne glared at her bosom friend's exaggerations. "Gilbert, thank you for accompanying Anne home. Now come Charlie, can you help me gather those chairs?"

With that, Diana turned and walked towards the house without a glance back. Charlie stood dumbfounded, but quickly regained his senses and followed after, looking back mournfully for a moment before trekking up the small hill towards the house. Gilbert and Anne were left standing there, staring at the backs of their two friends retreating. Anne felt almost proud of her kindred spirit, Diana could be delightfully conniving when she felt like it. Still, her frustration mounted as she turned back to her new companion for the afternoon. She had dedicated herself to ignoring him and yet, here she was again in his company. She swallowed audibly trying to hold back all of the emotions she wanted to express. 

"Right, thank you," Anne nodded at him, looking anywhere but into his eyes and turned to begin walking. She gave a small wave to the girls who were standing and watching, ignoring their judging eyes and smirking faces before facing forward. Gilbert fell comfortably into step beside her. 

They walked in silence away from the Barry's for a minute. Anne kept pulling at and adjusting her dress before giving up and letting it stick to her body in an uncomfortable way. Gilbert made no comment on her huffing and fidgeting, brow furrowed in his signature “lost in thought” expression. 

"Congratulations again, Anne. I knew you would do it," Gilbert said simply as soon as they turned the first corner away from the picnic. He meandered beside her slowly, one hand casually placed in the pockets of his pants while the other held his jacket over his shoulder. He looked so much like a man and not the boy she had known that everytime she glanced over she looked away just as fast. 

"Congratulations to you, Dr. Blythe," she smiled shyly at his words, avoiding his eyes as they wandered through the woods. At the picnic, the heat had felt almost sweltering at times, but underneath the tree cover, the weather was perfectly cool. "I could not have asked for a more formidable person to share first place with."

As she said it, she realized just how true the statement was. Even beyond her recent feelings, Gilbert had always made her a better student. She's not sure if she would've done as well if he had not incited her competitive streak. Anne suddenly felt overwhelmed with how much of an impact he has had on her. He had made this possible for her. The thought was disarming for a moment as she stuttered over her next words.

"Aren't you just so delighted for Queens? I couldn't be happier that we all passed! It will be wonderful being in a new place with so many familiar faces. Although, I am also excited to be around so many new faces and places! I do love dear Avonlea and Green Gables the most, but it will be so inspiring to be surrounded by so many new things," Anne had begun rambling. She felt her face heat for the millionth time that day. "All of us, so grown up and at college. Can you believe it? I can't express how excited I am. We will be real students, real educated individuals in the real world, practically adults."

"Anne, I wanted to speak with you about that," Gilbert interrupted, his voice suddenly solemn. He slowed his steps even more until they had stopped just up the lane from Green Gables on the white way of delight. 

The trees were in full bloom and cast marvelous shadows on the pair. As the wind picked up slightly, tiny white petals floated softly around them. Anne was struck by the situation for the first time that afternoon. She was walking home, or being walked home by Gilbert Blythe, Avonlea golden boy, future doctor, and the object of her obvious and devoted affection. He had stopped her privately, seriously, and wanted to speak about their shared future. Her heart pumped loudly in her ears as she turned to face him. She nodded lightly as she realized she could not speak for fear of what she might say. 

His face was dappled with shadows as he stared down at her intensely. His eyes smoldered for a moment and so clear in the afternoon sun. It was just before sunset and everything was golden. Anne privately thought his hair looked a delicious chocolate brown in this light and suppressed the urge to reach out and run her hands through his curls. It was almost overwhelming, the way her heart beat loudly in her ears as he struggled to find his voice. 

"I wanted to ask you this because you're one of the smartest people I know. You're thoughtful and passionate and capable and I trust you," Gilbert began slowly. Anne felt her breath catch at his words. She had instinctively leaned forward slightly and she could just about make out the green in his eyes again, that beautiful, mesmerizing green. 

"Ms. Stacy told me before the exam that she knows a professor and doctor at the University of Toronto and that if I did well on the exam I could send my scores there and attend. Their medical program is one of the best in the world and it would mean I could get started on my dream sooner," Gilbert explained, speaking so animatedly that he tripped over himself a bit. "But, Bash and Mary and Dellie and my responsibilities here, I-I don't know if I should or could leave them. Toronto is far and expensive and unknown. I am telling you this because I truly want to know what you think. Bash and Mary have said to go and not worry about them but I know you have had similar concerns regarding Mr. and Miss. Cuthbert and I trust you." 

Anne suddenly felt cold, like someone had thrown a bucket of water over face. She became acutely aware of all the places her dress felt tight, the sensation quickly growing unbearable. The white way of delight dulled around her like someone had sucked all the color out of the world. He was still staring at her so openly, earnest and pleading. She felt her hands begin to shake. He had felt nothing, so little that he was practically begging her to tell him to leave forever. The dance they had shared in the schoolhouse was barely noteworthy. Worst of all, he wasn't asking to court her at all, he wanted to go and be in Toronto, miles and miles away. She felt sick. 

How could she be so stupid? Why would he ever want her? They were friends, barely that, and he had so much waiting for him. He would go to Toronto and meet a wonderful, wealthy, and worldly woman and they would fall in love and have children while she withered away right here in Avonlea. He would be a successful doctor and she would be the perfect homemaker for him. She would comfort him when his work was hard. She would be his rock while Anne would become one of those old teachers with no family that took it out on her students. She would be alone just like she always thought.

The thoughts filled her with dread and she looked away from him, staring off to the side at a pile of petals. They had been trampled and were so stained with mud that it was hard to believe they had once been stark white. She pondered this for a moment. She thought herself a terrible fool. 

"Anne?" She must've been quiet for too long as he was now staring at her confused, his eyebrows quirked as he stared down at her. She finally looked up at him again.

"You should go," she breathed out. She wasn't sure if she meant that he should go to Toronto or that he should leave her right at this moment. Did it even matter anymore? She stepped back from him resolutely. "Being a doctor is your dream, you should go. Mary and Bash and Dellie have set up a wonderful home here. You should go." She felt like her whole body was shaking and was surprised by how steady her voice seemed. 

His eyebrows were still raised at her, his mouth now in a thin line. He seemed upset and confused. How could he have done this to her? To dance with her, take her hand, and then ask for advice on how to part with her forever? Anne had never felt more humiliated, not even all those years ago when he pulled her hair. She ruefully wished she had a slate at the moment. 

But, she didn't want to hit him, it was just the opposite in fact. She wanted to hold his face in her hands and ask him to stay, demanding it almost. She wanted to run her fingers through his curls and promise to stay by his side through it all. She wanted to pull him to her and tell him how proud she was, despite it all. She thought of how she would never do any of that, how she would never touch him again in just a few months. This is what finally pricked tears behind her eyes. She needed to go. 

"Right," he said suddenly, breaking her out of her reverie. He nodded his head and put his jacket back on, adjusting it slightly. She stepped back further. 

"I must be going, Marilla will be wondering where I am," she managed to get out as she took off down the path. Her feet began moving so fast it was like she was running.

"Anne?" he called after her and began following her. "Are you alright?"

"Yes! I'm alright! I just realized I promised Marilla I'd help with supper and need to get started right away," she didn't bother turning her head or slowing down. "Thank you for accompanying me home!"

She reached the Green Gables gate and as soon as it was closed behind her she broke out into a sprint, bounding up the porch steps and wrenching open the front door. It was only once she was in the door that she let the tears finally flow. 

.-.-.

It was not enough to loathe Gilbert Blythe's presence that summer, she detested the very idea of him. She ignored the various attempts he made to talk with her after church, opting to speak politely with Diana and then sit with Matthew in the buggy. She smiled politely at Bash and Mary but knew that her behavior unfortunately alienated them too. She wished she could explain it all. She felt ashamed.

She also made sure to be out of the house almost every afternoon. She called on all the girls so much they started to get annoyed. Then, she just went out alone into the woods. She would bring a book but she rarely got any reading done, mind racing the whole time knowing that Gilbert was at Green Gables. 

When she did spend time with the girls, it seemed that all anyone wanted to talk about was Queens and it made her feel sick. She couldn't shake the horrible feelings of foolishness that she felt at the mention. If Diana noticed her silence on the topic, she said nothing, opting instead to change it whenever possible. Diana did not leave the topic of Gilbert Blythe well enough alone however. She had pestered Anne nonstop before the redhead had relented, telling Diana about Gilbert's question and eventual departure. Diana had held her bosom friend tight against her while Anne cried. It wasn't what she had been expecting to happen and she struggled to console her closest friend. Diana’s attempts at reassurance had fallen on deaf ears for the most part.

Marilla had tried to speak with her multiple times too. She knew no details, just that Anne was upset, but Anne would not budge. The Cuthberts began to worry frequently over their daughter. Was it Queens? Was it something they had done? There was a noticeable silence at Green Gables even as Anne attempted to put on a happy face for her family. 

Despite her committed avoidance and silence on the matter, Anne was teeming with emotions and thoughts. She was furious with herself. She was ashamed. She felt so silly and young. Of course Gilbert wouldn't want her. He was a man now at eighteen. She was still a silly, foolhardy, stubborn, hotheaded girl. The days leading up to her sixteenth birthday were filled with sorrow and dread.

She awoke on her birthday completely unhappy. She had waited for this day forever and yet, when it had finally arrived she could barely bring herself to be excited. She was sixteen, officially of age to many. She could wear corsets and put her hair up. She could begin courting and taking suitors. She was ostensibly an adult. As she laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling in the early morning, she realized she wanted none of these things. She wanted to stay a girl. She wanted to be able to go out and play in the woods, spin daring tales and braid flower crowns without someone questioning her character. She wanted to still be able to kick off her shoes at a moment's notice and stick her toes into a brook or into soft grass without her reputation being harmed. She wanted to stay at Green Gables forever.

Anne sighed to herself as tears threatened to spill over onto her cheeks. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes for a few beats, willing herself not to get over-emotional as Marilla would be waking soon. She counted slowly from one to ten in her head before sitting up in bed and kicking her feet over the side. There was no use laying in bed and moping any longer she realized. 

She was sixteen, officially a woman, and that meant she couldn't spend her days wallowing over a boy who didn't want her. She felt a bubble of laughter rise up in her chest as she thought about how she’d been behaving just moments earlier. She was sixteen! She was going to college and she would become a famous writer. She would teach children about the world. She would go out and see the world herself. She turned to look at herself in the mirror. She knew in her mind that she didn't look any different than yesterday, but in her heart she knew she felt different. She allowed herself a moment to admire the way her body had changed and filled out over the past year. She certainly looked more like a woman now than she did a year ago. 

Her figure had filled out, like all the other girls her age. Although Diana looked the most like a beautiful and mature lady, Anne privately thought that she herself looked rather mature at times. She was still skinny and her legs were still too long but other parts of her had become much more shapely. She had curves that weren’t there before. She took a moment to glance at her face, ducking down so it could be visible in the mirror. Her freckles had remained much to her chagrin, but she had grown into her other features. Her eyes weren't so big now and her nose had a wonderful slope that turned up right at the end. Unlike Josie who now looked so striking, she hadn't lost much of the roundness in her cheeks but she found she didn't mind so much. Of course, her hair had stayed red and wicked, but she had to admit that Diana hadn’t been fully lying when she said it had turned auburn. It was wholly red still, but a tad darker now and it made her paleness stand out just a bit less. Although, Anne reasoned, she could never truly compare to the girlish softness of Ruby or the exquisite curves of Diana, she had grown into her looks much more than she thought she would. That was another positive of getting older.

She turned to her dresser and began getting ready for the day. The sun was barely hidden by the horizon and Green Gables would be coming alive any second. She opened the drawer that held the clothes Marilla had been making for this very day and appraised them for a moment. She still wouldn't be expected to fully dress up yet – that would have to wait until she got to Queens. Still, the other girls had begun wearing garments with longer skirts and wearing their hair more up than down. She felt it was within her rights now as practically an adult to try it. After careful consideration, Anne chose a white blouse and a green skirt with delicate ruching along the sides. Much to her pleasure, the blouse had slightly puffed sleeves and lace detailing down the front in the shape of a semicircle. When she tucked it into the skirt, the two pieces accentuated her waist even without the assistance of a corset. The thought privately pleased her. Satisfied, she plaited her hair in a simple, singular braid. 

She stepped again in front of the mirror. Anne felt strange as she realized how mature she looked. The clothing was of a woman, but she still felt like just a girl. There was something missing from the day, she was sure of it. Her gaze slid over to the window as the sun rose over the fields of Avonlea. Her beloved snow queen tree was still in bloom, waking every morning alongside the sun. She thought for a moment about how much it meant to her, this farm and all of the exquisite beauty surrounding it. She wanted to carry it with her. Slowly, Anne stepped towards the window and reached out carefully to pick a bloom or two. At another point in the year, the branches would be much too far from her grasp, but today she was just able to reach a couple. She smiled as she collected them, it must be a birthday miracle!

As she descended the stairs at Green Gables, weaving flowers into her braid thoughtfully, she heard the quiet sounds of Marilla and Matthew in the kitchen. They rarely spoke this early in the morning, reveling in the silence and peace Avonlea offered. Anne stopped for a moment in the doorway, gazing out adoringly at her caregivers before they noticed her. Her heart felt full at the sight. 

“Oh Anne, you’re up!” Marilla exclaimed when she turned and noticed the redhead. She took a second to take in Anne’s appearance, heart clenching at the sight of how grown up the girl looked. “Happy birthday, dear.”

Anne’s smile only grew tenfold at that. She rushed in and wrapped her arms around Marilla, burrowing her head into her chest. Matthew stood at that moment too, eyes shining as he took in the sight of his little girl. 

“Thank you, Marilla, Matthew,” Anne spoke almost tearfully, pulling away from the older woman only to rush into Matthew's arms as well. He felt his heart swell and held her close for as long as she would stay. 

“What's on the agenda for your sixteenth today?” Marilla questioned once they had all sat down for breakfast. 

“I think I will spend it in nature. Avonlea is just so divine at this time of year. I might call on Diana and explore the fields around Barry pond.”

“That sounds like a nice time,” Marilla said in a measured tone. “Be sure to be back for supper, we’ll have something to give you.”

Anne beamed at that and nodded enthusiastically before digging into her breakfast. The two siblings locked eyes from across the table and smiled to themselves. They had gotten Anne a proper evening gown with the help of Diana and the other girls in choosing color and style. It had been Matthew's idea, Marilla thinking the gift too frivolous, but her brother had reasoned that Anne would find use for it at Queens with the balls and celebrations. Once Matthew Cuthbert had settled on something for his little girl, there was no argument to be had. They only hoped she adored it.

After breakfast, Anne was shooed out by Marilla, with no complaints from the red head, who had to get started on the cake. She began her day in the barn, greeting and petting Belle along with the other animals. Jerry had been given some time off and she reluctantly admitted to herself that she missed the boy. He had given her a charming homemade bracelet of twine and bead a week before for her birthday and it sat dutifully on her dresser. 

Slowly, she made her way out of the bounds of Green Gables and into the rolling hills of Avonlea. The sun was high in the sky now and it was a bit hot, but Anne found that her light blouse kept her cool enough. As she roamed the fields, she giggled to herself at the new sensation of her skirt rustling against the grass. Her previous skirts had been too short even for the overgrown and under-maintained fields on this side of the island. She reckoned that she would get used to the new sound and feeling in time and it sent a thrill through her. 

By mid-afternoon, Anne had settled in a field not too far from the Barry residence. The redhead had stopped in on Diana for lunch and the two had enjoyed a wonderful picnic by the pond. Diana had gifted her a gilded broach in the shape of a lily and Anne had immediately fastened it to her blouse. They had giggled over all of the joys of being mature ladies before finding themselves laughing and running through the fields like they were young girls once again. Anne supposed they always would be like girls around each other. Diana had graciously picked more flowers to weave through Anne’s braid and it was now bursting with blooms. The bosom friends said a heartfelt goodbye for the day and Anne had set off.

She found herself approaching the schoolhouse, now dusty and silent in the summer months. Anne felt a strange pang in her heart at the sight of it, standing still and alone at the edge of the woods. She had grown so much there, even when the boring and awful Mr. Phillips had headed the post. Her mind flashed with images from her first day. The fear, the anxiety, the anger of it all bubbled up in her throat. Of course, she thought of Gilbert. Confident, naive, forward, devastating Gilbert. His winks and boyish smiles had captivated all Avonlea girls. He had led the schoolhouse like a king, before his father died. How he had changed, she thought wistfully. Her heart clenched in her chest and she drew her gaze away. It was no use dwelling on him now. She was grown up, past this school girl nonsense once and for all. She huffed and continued to trudge along.

The sun hung low in the sky as she finally approached Green Gables, coming from the far side rather than the front as she had taken the long route home, dipping her toes in brooks and weaving through trees just as she had done her very first summer in Avonlea. It filled her with great happiness and ease to know that this had finally become her home, no matter where she was off to next. She hoped Marilla wouldn't be too mad at her for taking too long.

As she traversed the field between Green Gables and the orchard, she approached the rows of trees slowly. It would be months before the apples were ready she knew, but the trees were in full bloom and smelled delightful. Maybe she could pick one and stick it in her hair as a final memento from such a splendid day. Her mind was so caught up in the search for the perfect bloom that she hadn't heard the distinct sound of a horse and rider coming over the hill. It wasn't until it was totally in view that Anne heard it, her heart skipping a beat at the sudden interruption. She hastily pulled her face and hands away from a particular bountiful tree and turned to face the intruder. Well, she reasoned, she was really the intruder at the moment. 

It was Gilbert Blythe. Gilbert Blythe, on a horse, looking dashing and charming and perfect, approaching her like a character in a romantic novel. He was wearing his simple workwear and still her heart stopped for a moment at the sight. His skin was tanner than in the weeks before, likely from the summer farm labor he had been performing dutifully. He shone in the golden glow of the afternoon, almost heavenly. Anne gulped.

She wanted to run and never face him again. She couldn't bear the thought of looking at him at that moment. Of course, he would show up on this day. Her head darted around, looking for a place to run, but it was no use, she was stuck. Her stomach dropped as he came closer, sliding off his horse without a word. How could he do this to her? She felt the familiar feeling of anger rise up in her chest. She didn't want to see him, didn't he know that? She stood resolutely in place as he approached, silently glaring as if to ward him off.

“Anne,” he began once he was within feet of her. They were standing as if opposing each other, stiff and unwelcoming. “I came by Green Gables, but Miss Cuthbert said you weren't there.”

Anne still said nothing. She wasn't even truly looking at him, opting to gaze over his shoulder sternly. She crossed her arms over her chest unconsciously. Surely, he would leave her alone if she treated him this way.

“I-I wanted to wish you a happy birthday,” Gilbert stammered, seemingly picking up on the anger radiating off of the girl across from him. “And give you this.”

He stuck his hand out, a small gift wrapped carefully in light green ribbon held in it. Anne eyed the package warily. She should refuse it. She should tell him to go away. 

“Thank you,” Anne said stiffly, her eyes never leaving the gift in front of her. “But I can't accept this, it's too much.”

“Anne,” Gilbert huffed out in an exasperated tone. He wiggled the present in front of her for emphasis. “Please just take it.”

Anne huffed a breath out in turn. Fine. She snatched the gift out of his hands, holding it tight at her side. Finally, she looked up at him fully. Her heart stuttered in her chest. His curls were windswept from his ride and fanned out around his head, illuminated in the late afternoon sun. He had developed a few freckles on his own nose from long hours outside while farming, melding with his golden skin. His expression was mostly confused and a tad frustrated, indicated by the furrow of his expressive brow and the small frown he wore. He always looked handsome, but this was something else. After so many days apart, she had forgotten what it felt like to truly look at him. Anne wrenched her gaze away.

“If that will be all,” she nodded at him as a curt goodbye and began to turn away, ready to march back to Green Gables.

“Anne, wait-” he reached out, leaping forward and grabbing her wrist as she spun away. “Something's wrong, you're upset. Is it something I’ve done? I’m sorry.”

His hand burned against her wrist although his touch was quite gentle. He didn't let go even after he had said his piece. Anne pondered him for a moment, his searching gaze, the earnest expression of his face, practically pleading for an answer. He was closer now and if she pressed forward they would be chest to chest. The thought zipped through her body like a lightning strike before being replaced by an aching sadness. He hadn't done anything wrong. He had been a good friend to her, studying with her and walking with her. She couldn't fault him for his lack of interest. Why would he ever be interested in her? She suddenly burned with shame over her behavior towards him. He would only ever be her friend.

“You've done nothing,” Anne’s voice was barely a whisper, so quiet in the still afternoon. She turned her head to face Green Gables, cheeks reddening. “Nothing at all.”

He looked at her incredulously for a moment, his hand still warm and weighted against her wrist. Tears pricked behind her eyes and she willed herself to not cry in his company, but she felt frozen to her spot. She wanted to run away and go home and never come out again. He must've noticed.

“Please don't run away again,” Gilbert pleaded once more, urging her to look at him. “Every time I try to speak with you this summer, you've run away.”

She could see the green in his eyes again as they sparkled in the afternoon light. Her own eyes burned with tears unshed, but she swallowed over the lump forming in her throat. She wouldn't cry.

“I’m sorry you feel that way, I’ve been very, very busy. It is our last true summer in Avonlea and I’m making the most of it,” Anne explained, suddenly feeling ire at his keen and hypocritical observation. “I suggest you do the same, seeing as you will be off in Toronto and who knows when you’ll be back again! Why not make the most of your time here before you leave it all behind?”

Anne finally broke free from his grip only to put her hands on her waist accusingly, his gift in her hand digging into the bone there. How dare he accuse her of running away when that was exactly what he was doing? She had just about had enough of Gilbert Blythe. 

“Leave it all behind? What are you talking about?” Gilbert seemed shocked at her sudden spike in anger, his arms hanging limply at his sides now. “I have no plans to leave Avonlea behind. It is my home.”

“Right, of course, it's your home until you find a new one on the mainland. You'll find a job and open a practice and be the best doctor Toronto has ever seen while we all bide our time on this island,” she was basically yelling at this point. “You’ll find a beautiful woman and fall in love and marry her and have a family and I’ll-”

Her breath caught in her throat, the anger dissipating as fast as it had arrived. She had said too much and the thought made her stomach feel like it had sunk down into the earth. He must know her feelings truly now. Yet, he was still just standing there, close enough to touch, and staring at her with his brow furrowed and the corners of his lips brought down in a frown. 

“I won't go,” his voice was small and gruff between them and it made her heart do something funny in her chest. She barely registered his words for a moment before realizing what he said with a jolt.

“What?!” She exclaimed. “No! You must go!”

“You’re right, Avonlea is my home and Toronto is too far from all the things I care about most,” His eyes glimmered as they flicked up to hers, brown and green pooling hotly in his irises. She looked down, staring intently off to the side of where they stood.

“Gilbert, I was being silly, truly! Being a doctor is your dream and Toronto will do that for you, you must-” the sudden feeling of his hand against her cheek made her stop. His calloused fingers rough as he cupped the side of her face lightly. Slowly, he brought it up and ran his thumb across her cheekbone briefly before tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. The contact was faint, but it forced her eyes back up and staring into his own. Her heart thudded in her chest, blood rushing in her ears as his hand stilled against her and cooled her incessantly heated face. His eyes still held that same smoldering expression as before, but they were softer now, blurred around the edges somehow. She stopped breathing for a moment waiting for him to say something, anything. 

“Anne, you must know,” he started and then broke off, his hand still resting at the side of her face. “You must know how much I care for you.”

Anne parted her lips to speak, but nothing came out. Her brain had stopped, zeroed in on the feeling of his fingers grazing just below her ear. The sensation of it sending goosebumps across her arms. In another life she could hear his teasing about her speechlessness, but right now, he just plowed on, eyes still boring into her own.

“You are the most intelligent, passionate, beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I wanted to know you from the moment I laid eyes on you, which is why I teased you so on your first day. I wanted your attention and… I still do, everyday,” his hand came to rest more firmly on the side of her neck, cradling her head delicately while his fingers tickled the small hairs at her nape. “I thought myself obvious in that it was you who was the fond object of my affection and desire.”

At that, Anne felt herself snap back into her body. Her mind which had been frozen in shock came to life again and her thoughts whirled past her at a hundred miles a minute. It was Gilbert Blythe with his hand on holding her face, staring at her with nothing short of pure affection in his eyes, and confessing that it was he who wanted her. She thought that without his hand there she might've keeled over in surprise right then. 

“You weren't obvious,” she managed to squeak out, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears. The words brought a small smile to his lips and she admired the way they quirked up at the sides asymmetrically. 

“Let me be obvious then, if I am to be married one day, it would only be to you, Carrots,” his voice was barely above a whisper and she felt him tug lightly on her braid with his fingers, just enough for her to feel it but not too much for a real pull. She couldn't even dwell on the dreaded nickname for the soaring of her heart had overtaken all of her senses. 

She looked at him, really looked at him, the way the tips of his ears were pink and glowing, the half-smile half-smirk permanently affixed to his mouth, his shining eyes, and felt her own expression fill with courage. He was here, holding her close, telling her he wanted her. She had dreamed of this, an idyllic confession in a gazebo shielded from rain or by candlelight in a gothic library, not necessarily on the outskirts of a small orchard, but a confession all the same. She had to admit that this was much, much better than anything she could've written when she was thirteen. Tall, boyish, smart, kind, infuriating, devastating Gilbert Blythe was more than her ideal, he was her equal in every sense of the word. He knew her, knew all the ways to rile her up, all the times she’d stumbled and failed, and he knew her home. He was her home. She knew what must come next. Slowly and tentatively, she brought her hands to his chest to snake them around his neck, his gift still held tightly in one. The contact was exhilarating and it brought closer to him. His eyes widened in surprise, but she didn't let that deter her as she leaned up and pressed her lips against his own, eyes fluttering shut as soon as there was contact.

It took a moment for Gilbert to respond and she felt dread pool in her stomach at his stillness, but once he seemed to register what she had done, he began kissing her back in earnest. His other hand came to slide around her waist and she relished the feel of it against her uncorseted torso. She wondered if he could tell and the thought made her press herself to him closer. The kiss was a bit awkward, her nose was slightly squashed into his cheek and his teeth clacked against hers at the beginning, but it made her knees feel like jelly all the same. His lips were soft and just the right pressure against her own. He tasted like apples, sweet and tart and perfect. She melted against him.

They stayed pressed together for as long as they could before Gilbert pulled back for a breath. His face was still only mere inches from her own as they both breathed in deep, his eyes half lidded and cheeks flush. Anne knew she probably looked the same, positively scandalous. Without a moment's hesitation, he leaned in again, this time the angle was much more comfortable for both of them. His lips were strong and insistent against her own as his hand cradled her face into the perfect position. Her free hand snuck into his hair and began playing with the curls there. They were as soft as she had always imagined. She had been so wrapped up in the feel of him, pressed against every part of her body, she had forgotten what it was they were talking about before. Suddenly, her mind jumped back into action, Gilbert Blythe wanted her and she couldn't be happier, but he was also being downright foolish. She wrenched her mouth away at once and placed her hands on his shoulders to give him a blunt shove back, still within reach but far enough that she could actually think. He stumbled, surprised and dazed as his arms remained in position but jostled against her.

“You have to go!” Anne exclaimed, eyes wild and hair flying everywhere. She had been so caught up in the kiss and his confession that she had forgotten what had gotten them there in the first place. He had dreams and a future and she so desperately wanted him to achieve them.

“What?” Gilbert’s voice rasped at the interruption. His hair was equally a mess and the flush on his face made Anne's heart skip a beat. She had made him so disheveled, the thought was wicked but thrilling in her head. 

“Toronto!” Anne responded enthusiastically, her hands still firm against his shoulders. She could feel the divots in them from his years of manual labor and schooled her hands still in order to not trace their outlines. She had to get herself under control.

“Anne, I really don't think we need to be talking about this now,” Gilbert seemed to have registered what she was trying to say and a small smile took over his confused face. His eyes softened at her and he stepped forward into her space again, her arms lax against his enticing closeness. 

“No, Gil, we must talk about this now,” Anne remained resolute in her position, refusing to melt against him once more and stay lost in the bliss they had found together. She steeled herself against his charms and plowed on. “Becoming a doctor is your dream and you need Toronto for that. If you stay in Avonlea, you’ll grow resentful and tired of it.” And me, Anne thought. The words hung between them.

“But, I’ve just told you how I feel and-” Gilbert rebutted as he moved his knuckles to caress her cheek.

“Gilbert Blythe, if it isn't clear enough already, I am scandalously in love with you,” Anne blurted, silencing his next words. Heat rose to her face as she realized what she had just said. Of course, she knew in her heart that she loved him truly, but he hadn't necessarily said those words to her. His hand froze against her cheek and she felt her panic rise.

“It wasn't clear,” he murmured, a mirror to her statement only minutes before when he had confessed. His face broke into a wicked grin and he swooped down to kiss her once again. 

This kiss was equally as passionate and insistent as their last and Anne relented against her better judgement. She privately hoped every kiss they shared would make her feel so utterly entranced and overwhelmed.

“Promise me you’ll go,” Anne breathed out when they broke the kiss, which felt like centuries later. She moved to press her forehead against his neck, relishing the closeness that she had longed for all summer. 

“That is a highly unusual request for a boy to hear from the girl that he loves,” Gilbert teased, breath tickling her ear as he wrapped his arms around her and held her closer. 

“I’m being serious,” Anne pleaded, despite her heart doing somersaults at his phrasing. She was the girl he loved, and the thought was enough to make her the happiest she had ever been. She pulled away to meet his eyes. “I could never forgive you if you didn't.”

His face blanched at that, remembering just how withholding she could be with her forgiveness. He gazed at her, her expression was stern but her eyes glowed with admiration and affection. Under anyone else's eyes she would've felt exposed, but she felt safe with him. 

“I could never tire of you. I could spend every waking moment of my life with you and it still wouldn't be enough,” Gilbert confessed honestly, his voice soft and eyes shining with emotion. She feels warmth spread through her chest. “I don't know if I can leave you now.”

Her face broke out into a toothy smile, heart soaring. This whole afternoon had felt like a dream, a marvelous, wondrous, absolutely splendid dream. She didn't ever want to wake up. Never in her wildest imagination would she have thought he reciprocated her affections, and yet she was there, wrapped up in his arms and holding him close. She darted forward to press a chaste kiss to his lips, feeling confident and giddy.

“We’ll write, constantly, and we’ll visit each other every chance we get,” She stated simply as she pulled away, enjoying his slightly shocked expression. An uncharacteristic smirk spread across her lips, pleased at the effect she had on him. “We’ll have to tell everyone.”

“Tell everyone what exactly?” He said, smiling cheekily and raising an eyebrow at her to gauge her reaction. They had kept their friendship mostly a secret in its early days and he wonders how their relationship will fare under the watchful eyes of their loved ones. Selfishly, he realized he wanted to keep her to himself. The relationship can be just theirs for a moment.

“That's for us to decide together,” Anne deftly avoids the question, raising an eyebrow of her own.

“I’d like to court you, properly,” despite all that has occurred, Gilbert still manages to surprise her with his boldness. She feels her face redden for the millionth time that evening.

“I agree to be courted, properly,” she giggles slightly, feeling girlish and youthful and wanted. Her very own beau! Even with the giddiness, Anne can't help but think of the way she had acted since the beginning of this whole ordeal. She presses her face into his chest to hide it. “Oh Gil, I’ve been so foolish, ignoring you and running away! How can you stand it?”

“Anne-girl,” he manages through a laugh, gently coaxing her to look at him. “I will admit that it hurt my ego to have you avoiding me, but we’re here now. My Anne with an E.”

She slowly relents to his coaxing, head pulling back to look up at him. She's surprised by the sudden wetness of her eyes and tries to blink it away, emotion welling up in her throat. She doesn't know where it's coming from but she knows it's all hitting her now. She's so unbelievably happy as the tears spill over. Immediately, Gilbert's expression morphs into one of concern and he wipes her tear with his thumb. 

“Anne, what's wrong?” He spoke so softly, voice laced with worry and affection. The sound only made Anne cry harder, eyes squeezing shut to quell the flow of tears. 

“Oh, nothing, I’m just so incandescently happy,” she says through sniffles, slowly composing herself. The feel of his calloused thumb against her cheek grounding her once more. She leaned up again, pressing her lips against his firmly and attempting to pour all of her emotions in it.

Finally, they broke apart, smiling sheepishly at each other. Anne knew her face must've been crimson at this point but struggled to think about anything but the way Gilbert’s lips looked after so many kisses. The sun sat low in the sky, golden light illuminating around them almost magically. Anne could’ve spent the rest of her days there, wrapped up in his arms on a warm Avonlea day. Tentatively, Gilbert pulled back, moving his hands from her waist to her own hands and squeezing them reassuringly. 

“May I walk you home?” His voice sounded gruff and deep, like it was lodged in the back of his throat. She nodded somewhat shyly, still smiling as they trekked across the grass together towards the truest home she'd ever known.

Their walk was quiet, content to enjoy each other's company and slightly exhausted after their countless confessions earlier. She knew that in only a few months, she would be far away and living on her own, experiencing the world and all of its possibilities, and he would be even farther. The thought should send her spiraling and worrying endlessly, but she lets it settle in her chest before letting it be. For one reason or another, Anne is convinced that her and Gilbert Blythe will come out of it together.

Bonus scene:

The two Avonlea teenagers were quickly approaching the back porch of Green Gables when Gilbert suddenly stopped in his tracks. Anne slowed next to him, still smiling and reeling from their confessions mere minutes before. 

“Your gift! Please Anne, open it,” Gilbert implored, reaching out to pull Anne’s hand up, gift still clutched tightly in her fist. 

Truthfully, she had been thinking about the gift the entire journey back. She wasn’t sure if he wanted her to open it with him present or not, or if the gift had changed meanings after their conversation. She would be sorely disappointed if he got her something thoughtless under the impression that they were nothing more than school chums. 

“Alright,” Anne began, pulling open the plain brown paper.

The box she revealed was unassuming and she quickly pulled off the lid. Inside sat a small silver locket in the shape of a heart. The heart had an intricate floral design engraved on the front and was hung on a dainty silver chain. Slowly, Anne pulled the necklace out of the box by its chain and held it up in the dimming sunlight. It sparkled marvelously, and Anne again felt tears prick the back of her eyes. 

“Oh Gil,” she threw her arms out and around him suddenly, dropping the box and burrowing her head into his chest, locket still clutched in her hand. “It’s wonderful.”

“What was that, Shirley?” Gilbert’s arms came up to surround her quickly, chuckling slightly at her muffled reaction.

Anne pulled back slightly, looking up at her new beau with such emotion it seemed to quiet the world around them. She placed her hand with the locket against his chest, hoping to get him to take it from her.

“I adore it,” her voice trembled with the tears that threatened to spill over. “Will you put it on for me?”

She turned, her body still impossibly close to his as he reached to take the necklace from her. He reached over her head, tucking her braid to the side and clasped the necklace around her neck. His hands stilled against the back of her neck for a moment, relishing the feel of her smooth, freckled skin against his fingers before pulling away. 

Anne's hand instinctively rose to feel the locket against her chest, the cool metal running smooth against her fingertips. Her other hand reached out blindly to Gilbert beside her, interlocking their fingers before trudging onwards, heart full and beating soundly underneath his gift.