Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Most of the time, Earth loved his friends, but lately, he finds he can’t seem to be around them without a ball of irritation the size of the Sun starting to form in his core.

He doesn’t get it, they’re his friends, so why can’t he seem to hang out with them without feeling exasperated and drained beyond compare? It’s been like that for everyone; he can’t be close to anyone without those feelings following him around.

Most days, he could mask it, but today, he just couldn’t. Their antagonizing and competitive voices were just too loud, making him yield to the exhaustion by leaving them with some dumb and fake excuse.

Don’t blame him though, they could probably be heard from Neptune’s orbit, and could still be heard his. Which would be fine, if not for the fact that he was trying to relax.

Naturally, the one time they actually let him leave, and he gets left alone, is when those two decide that they want to be at their max volume.

Recently, after the Moon Revolution, the rocky planets had gotten into a sort of similar schedule as before, but with less downtime.

They would all go around and socialize with each other, then play asteroid dodgeball, then cards, then maybe chat a little with some of the moons before they left for their weird moon gang in the asteroid belt.

Though he feels like, during socializing, he spends more time being silent or listening to the conversation than socializing. The revolution brought them all together, which is a good thing, but he really needed a break from it all.

Seriously, though, or he might actually break. Maybe, they all just need some alone time.

Today shouldn’t have even been that bad; he was having a semi-normal day. He did all those things: he floated around talking to the others, he played cards, and he even had an awkward conversation with Titan, then left, but as usual, something just had to feel or go wrong.

This time, it wasn’t only the exhaustion; it felt like something amplified it, or maybe like something added onto it for him; something just felt uncharacteristically wrong.

Initially, he just chalked the wrongness up to being in a bad mood or how the whole solar system had changed in the blink of an eye for him.

However, as the days passed, the feeling of wrongness didn’t disappear. Instead, it became more noticeable, he was always exhausted and irritated, no matter how much sleep he got or how many games he won; in addition, he just felt out of place whenever he tried to talk to someone.

When he talked to someone, it didn’t matter who it was, he always felt like he was putting up an act. He felt like a hopeless fraud.

The new rage among the inner planets was to get a better understanding of each other; everyone was more open about their feelings and even started talking about them.

It made him uncomfortable, so he never actually opened up, swerving the conversation whenever he was in it. Everyone seemed to make an effort to come clean, everyone except for him.

He felt like a hopeless fraud surrounded by sincere planets.

Maybe that's why whenever the idea of talking about things comes up, Earth is the quickest to leave the group; among many other reasons, it’s why he’s been isolating himself more from the other planets and even Luna.

Today he was lucky enough to have some complete alone time. Mars was talking to Jupiter, Venus looked like he was bullying Mercury again, and Luna had to quickly run off to some moon meeting, though he promised to be back quickly to keep his axis in check.

He was glad, really, he didn't want to talk to the others about his feelings anymore; he did that enough during and after the revolution.

Their emotional talks were so draining, they left him feeling exposed and somewhat shameful.

To him, it was like taking off a mask he’d been wearing his whole life, letting anyone who looks at him for even a second get a glimpse of his true self, letting them understand him.

As much as he sought out attention in the past from friends, foes, and acquaintances, this was not the kind he wanted.

Their stares had changed; they felt like judgmental daggers, leaving him in a withdrawn and insecure state, instead of the all too familiar appraising ones everyone used to indulge him with. If he felt like a fraud back then, it was 10x worse now.

Things would be so much better if he could only go back with this new mask, and at least seem deserving of their praise and flattery.

He couldn’t help it…

He stopped telling the truth.

He stopped opening up.

He stopped being vulnerable.

The others' understanding or listening to him was scary, when his mask broke and his insecurities were put into the spotlight, a whole revolution and war happened.

So many people were hurt by his words and actions in the past; the same mistake can’t happen again.

It might seem pathetic or cowardly for him to just put up another wall because he fears conflict, but his decisions truly come from a sincere desire to help others. So, no matter how much he doubts hiding himself, he knows deep down it's for the better.

Even after everything that’s happened, the thought that he hasn't changed and never would, from the egotistical and spoiled little brat that everyone hated, still haunts him. Maybe he’s just a lost cause-

No! This is exactly what Mercury said not to do.

He can’t spiral. Like, he really can’t spiral.

He can’t have a repeat of last time; Luna’s distressed face still haunts him, lingering and persisting in his head, following him throughout the whole solar system-

"Earth! Oh my stars!" Luna’s loud voice interrupts Earth’s thoughts, bringing him back to reality. Luna pauses, catching on to the fact that Earth was caught off guard. Giving him a moment to breathe and calm down.
"You okay? I've been calling your name for almost a minute now..."

"Sorry," He said, embarrassed, out of all the times Luna could come and see him. "Didn't mean to scare you, just a little spaced out." Luna smiles and gets back into his orbit.

"All good, just wanted to check on you.” Earth exhales, averting his eyes, and awaiting the worst.

“Your axis okay? I wasn’t gone too long, was I?” Luna always got like this when he had to leave. Luna was talking about his axis, but Earth knew what he was getting at.

Luna had begun giving him little check-ups after the Sun incident; he tried to make them inconspicuous and light, hoping that Earth would open up to him, but he never did.

He never pushed him into saying anything he wasn’t comfortable with, though. He appreciated that.

“Yeah, never been better.” He looks back at Luna, smiling. “How was your moon gang?” Luna gives him an unamused look, but the upturned lines of his mouth give away his true feelings. Earth laughs.

“Just kidding, but really, how was your moon club?” He gets a genuine smile out of Luna... This is what he’s here for. I can’t break, he told himself. Luna’s counting on me, they all are.

“It was actually really productive, everyone is starting to talk about their problems now, and we’ve come up with some good solutions.”

He does care about what Luna is saying, but he can’t help that his mind begins to wander and space out.

He catches glimpses of Jupiter talking past the encompassing asteroid belt, of Mars explaining something to his moons, and hilariously of Mercury and somehow Venus as well, being forced into teaching Sun some random game of cards.

That last scene breaks him out in laughter. How the stars did they get themselves into that situation? He would hate to be those two.

Luna looks at him confused. "What was that for?" Earth nods to two unfortunate planets, who are trying to teach the Sun how to play cards, smirking at the dumpster fire of a game they're having.

It probably could’ve gone well. However, with the Sun's bipolar personality and sore-loser mentality, the game was doomed from he start.

Earth smiles as Luna gives a small chuckle. He really did find the idea of the Sun playing cards with Mercury and Venus hilarious, but it was cut short when he saw Luna looking pensively at the asteroid belt.

“...”

“Penny for your thoughts?” Luna looks back at him, surprised.

“Oh, it’s really nothing, Earth.” He relaxes as Luna gives him a smile “Just thinking about how much things have changed around here.”

Luna pauses, reminiscing on something. If he had to guess, it was something very fond memory or thought. Luna seemed to lose track of time, though Earth did not rush him for an answer.

“It’s just...After everything that’s happened… I never thought that the option of friendship with the other moons would still be there, sometimes I still don’t believe we have our own club.”

“I guess it is crazy how quickly things can change.” He didn’t mean for it to come out bitter, but he couldn’t help but curse himself for saying it. Luckily, Luna doesn’t catch his out-of-pocket switch in tone.

Luna keeps saying a lot about his moon club without really saying anything. It becomes hard for him to follow, and it makes him realize how many moons he doesn’t know yet, though he doesn’t really have an interest in meeting more.

Really, though, there are so many, the Gas Giants deserve a raise for remembering everyone, like who’s Metis, Rhea, and Ensalada? He’ll be sticking with Luna.

Ever since the Moon Revolution ended, Luna had begun to hang out more and more often in the asteroid belt.

He didn’t really know who Luna was closest with in the moon club, but he heard and saw the most of Titan, so it was safe to assume they had gotten on better terms and become friends.

Though Titan still made him a little uncomfortable, and it wasn't all because of the moon Revolution, however, it was for the most part.

To him, the introduction of Titan into everything was somewhat proof of his past insecurities…He felt expendable now.

Before, he had life to make him special, which later the others made him realize wasn’t the only important thing about him.

So he looked for something else to make him special.

He started to focus on his relationship instead. He wanted to be there for people, but after a while, that became too exhausting, and it made him realize all over again that if he wasn’t there, people had other options.

The other rocky planets had each other, Luna had Titan and the moon club, and he? Sometimes it felt like all he had was the burden of this knowledge.

He didn't resent the others, he just felt... bitter. Bitter about the fact that they seemed to rely so much less on him than he did on them.

Does that mean he's a bad person? Does that make him some sort of manipulative maniac like before? Everyone finally has healthy relationships, Luna's finally got a true friend, so why is he unhappy, no, begrudged by it? It leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

(Begrudged means: envy (someone) the possession or enjoyment of (something))

But even worse is the links he's started making between his friendships and the ones of Luna, Mars, and even Venus. They're smiling, encouraging each other...never putting each other down.

He was never a good friend, was he? All he wants is what they have, for some pathetic reason, he somehow can’t put an exact definition on what it is he wants…

He's not "envious" if that's what you're thinking; he just really wants what they have. Which is different, he just hasn't thought about how yet.

What everyone has now, from their relationships to their easygoing attitudes, just leaves him so regretful; it just reminds him of probably one of his most important friendships, and how it’s going through a rough patch. His irritation and distance really screwed it up. He laughs despite himself.

They're still friends

He said so himself

They just need to rebuild their relationship.

These new feelings were so annoying. It's been getting so hard to think positively through this.

"..."

"Who do you think is going to win in that disaster of a card game?" Earth asks with a forced smile, desperate to keep his mind from racing. Luna gives him a genuine smile in return, making Earth pause. "Well, Mercury will probably win, but then just let the Sun take the credit, as for Venus…" Disappointingly, he starts to space out again despite all his efforts until Luna eventually realizes how tired he is and lets him sleep.

He wakes to the sour sight of the Sun.

Chapter Text

Mars didn’t understand what was going on between him and Earth anymore.

Ever since the moon revolution, he didn’t quite know what ground they stood on; their friendly banter, card games, and asteroid dodgeball weren’t the same.

They shouldn’t be acting like strangers, especially with how much time they’ve been spending together lately. He didn’t understand, and that made him so mad.

They’ve been best friends for so long, their fight was big, but he definitely still cared about Earth, and Earth, well, he hopes that he’s reading things right, but Earth still seems to care about him.

Mars doesn’t know if he can take another empty conversation, the awkward pauses, the aversive glances, and the lack of genuineness; they hurt with other people, but with Earth? His best friend, it felt like someone was twisting the knife.
That just isn’t them.

Talking with Earth was supposed to make him happy and content, not unsatisfied and empty. Their conversations lacked meaning and depth. Now it's always the shallow “how are you?” or “How has your day been?”, followed by some short discussion on what’s been happening.

He missed their genuine talks, their genuine smiles, their genuine jokes… he missed their genuine friendship.

He had been staring at the Earth for about an hour, thinking of how to approach him, before he decided to look away. Earth was being weird, the whole time Mars had been watching him, he had just been gazing at the sun in a fearful, no, maybe longing way? That also didn't seem right; perhaps it was a mix of both.

Anyway, he’s been trying to make a genius plan for a way that they could go back to being BFFs again, however, he’s come up dry. He’s made no plan, and now he probably seems like a weirdo for how long he’s been staring at Earth. Though one interesting, and equally concerning thing he got out of observing Earth, is that he seemed to be alone, like completely alone, without his moon, more and more.

After the first time Earth had been left alone, Mars had tried to keep a closer eye on him in case he needed someone to stabilize his axis. Earth can't really survive for more than an hour without his moon or someone else being there.

Is it a bad thing he's been spending so much time alone?

On one hand, it seems like a good idea for Earth to get some space; on the other hand, Mars really hates to see Earth this miserable.

Normally, he wouldn’t be so worked up about this; people can be in bad moods sometimes, but lately, he’s been hearing snippets of worrying discussions between Earth’s moon and Mercury, well, not so much anything worrying about Earth, just that those two are worried about him.

Mars REALLY wants to know what those two are on about; he isn’t usually the type to snoop, but curiosity is the wick in the candle of learning. And the more you know the better, right?

He can’t help but his curiosity, he feels like he’s being torn apart whenever his mind wanders to Earth, it's like a million questions flood into his head. Is Earth thinking about him, too? Does Earth miss him? Does he need help? Is he-

Mars sighs, looking back at Earth who is still staring mindlessly at the Sun.

He’s tried hinting and outright asking Mercury about Earth, but he never gets the answer he’s looking for.

He just wants to help, he just wants Earth to be okay.

He knows Earth can take care of himself, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be concerned about his friend.

He knows his concern means nothing if he can't make the first move, though.

He was nervous to be the first to reach out. Earth had changed. He wasn’t the old self-serving, manipulating planet anymore, which was, of course, a good thing, but this birthed a new fear in Mars.

Maybe the reason they don’t fit well together anymore is because Earth has changed as a planet, and these changes have made him realize that he doesn’t see Mars as a friend anymore. Earth doesn’t seem too keen on talking to right now, is that his way of saying it’s over?

Was their friendship just going to end slowly and silently?

Their relationship had been nearly torn to threads during the Moon Revolution, stars, he had nearly been torn to shreds during the Moon Revolution. There’s no way he’s just going to let it all end like this… he’s not ready for their friendship to unravel yet. He doesn’t think he ever will be.

If he had just confronted Earth and asked him why he was being so rude to Titan, maybe none of this would have happened...

It turned out alright in the end, though… right? Sure, Earth won’t talk to him, and sure, he’s isolating himself now, but everything's back to normal, no more revolution or war, or any other crap, and Mars knows that if he looks at things in a different light, excluding his whole friendship dilemma, things are better than before.

The solar system's better than before...So why does he care so much?

He looks back at Earth.

…

Everything will be fine.

Even if they aren’t best friends anymore,

He won’t let anything happen

Chapter Text

"Hey, Mars, talk to us!"

"Yeah, Mars, talk to us!!!"

"Phobos, Deimos, can you please quiet down? I'm trying to think."

"Sorry," they respond in unison, both making their best attempt at an apology, though Deimos is almost laughing, and Phobos is trying his best to hide how he’s glaring daggers at his brother.

"What did you two do?" Mars asks slowly,

"Oh, nothing, I just w-"

"Shut up, Deimos!" he says, embarrassed.

Mars gave them a skeptical look as Deimos whispered, "I totally see it happening." he pauses for a moment, giving Deimos a bewildered and horrified look.

Great, the last thing Mars needs to hear about is a repeat Titania and Titan situation.

"DEIMOS! Don't say that about Mars!" he yells, bringing his planet's attention back to him.

"What, um, did you two say about me?" Mars laughs nervously, “Actually, never mind, you two just go back to what you were doing.”

They both say nothing for a minute, passing each other glances until they come up with a decision.

“Hey Mars?” He asks, “Would you mind if we go meet up with Titan?”

Mars stares off mindlessly for a second, before coming to the realization that they’re talking to him.

Huh, he must be looking at Earth.

“Yeah, I want to start another-” Deimos is cut off by the sudden shove of Phobos’ gravity.

“Ugh, don’t blow this Deimos!”

“...okay…nice.” Mars closes his eyes, his face morphing to one of exasperation as he takes a deep breath, “What were you saying, Phobos?”

“We just wanted to know if we can go visit Titan.”

“Oh! Cool, cool, cool, you guys go do that.” He feigns interest, turning his attention back to Earth. Even if he doesn’t care, he should at least pretend to.

“Great, thanks.” He mumbles, not catching the concerned look of his brother.

“Anything else you need to tell us, Mars?” Deimos asks pointedly.

“What?” Mars looks at Deimos confused, then turns his attention to Phobos.

“Oh, yeah …Be back in an hour.”

…

Mars doesn’t even wait for the two of them to agree on the curfew.

He just goes back to staring at the Earth.

He frowns.

That can’t be right.

Mars is never this spacey, it’s kinda freaking him out.

They both head out to the asteroid belt before Phobos stops them.

“You think we're out of earshot?" He asks quietly

"I dunno, maybe," Deimos says loudly, " want me to check?" He tries mouthing 'no', but Deimos is too excited to notice.

"MARS! CAN YOU HEAR US?!?" Deimos yells into space, he turns around to see the annoyed face of Phobos.

"Sorry," He says sheepishly. Phobos looks even more on edge.

"We need to do something about Mars!"

“I thought we were going to see Titan? The, uh, asteroid belt is right there.”

“What, no? You know we both hate going to the asteroid belt, that was just to get away from Mars so we can help him!”

"Well, I guess Mars needs help." Deimos agrees, albeit hesitantly.

"Any ideas? Who do you think can help him?"

"Don’t ask me! I’m no expert.” Phobos rolls his eyes at his brother, If that ain’t the truth, “I have no clue, maybe Earth- Um, did you just roll your eyes at me?"

“N-no, I-” He can’t even finish his sentence before breaking into laughter.

“Are you laughing at me?” Deimos yells, searching Phobos’ eyes for an explanation.

“S-sorry!” Deimos has to be making a joke, right?

“It’s just, Earth is kinda the reason Mars is acting like that.”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah, definitely, I like, swear on ALL my solar cards.” Deimos gasps, looking between him, Mars, and Earth.

“No way, that’s crazy, I thought he was just mad he lost to us in trivia earlier.”

…

How did Deimos even come up with that idea?

They didn’t come close to winning.

“Bro, what’s with that look? Did I say something funny?” Phobos muffles a laugh, looking away.

“Yeah- wait, no, um,” He keeps tripping over his words, looking anywhere but at Deimos until his eyes catch sight of Mars. “This is serious, Deimos! What would Titan do in this situation?”

“Smooth topic change, Phobos.”

“Like you could do any better, idiot! You can’t even come up with a decent idea.”

“Hey! I’m not an idiot! And I come up with GREAT ideas all the time!”

“Sure, is there any proof of that?” He smirks at Deimos, enjoying the angry expression on his face.

“Yeah, tons,” Deimos says nervously, taking a moment to think.

“Well? I’m waiting.” That fires Deimos up, he looks about ready to explode.

“LET’S ACTUALLY GO FIND TITAN! He always knows what to do.” They both pause at that.

“You want to go through the asteroid belt to get Titan?”

“...Yeah, why wouldn’t I?” Phobos gives him a knowing look. “We’re not asteroids, Phobos, we got this!”

“Whatever you want, Deimos.”

“...” Deimos looks around, contemplating his next words. “FINE! I don’t really think it’s a good idea! The asteroid belt is creepy! What if we run into that Ceres guy?”

“Cool, let’s just come up with a different idea.”Deimos nods in relief, “The inner planets won’t be falling apart on our watch!" His brother looks a little dumbfounded by the show of confidence, but quickly matches his energy.

“Yeah! The only reason they’d be falling apart is to help us get bigger!”

“Yes, BIGGER!” he laughs, “Let’s go save our planet, Deimos!”

“Yeah!”

“...Soooo, any ideas?”

"Well, now that I think about it, I heard Mercury helped Earth and Luna with something. Maybe he can convince Earth to help Mars."

" Perfect! To Mercury’s orbit!" Phobos yells, starting his route to the fastest planet.

“Woohooo!” Deimos speeds up, racing past him, and making a face at him in the act.

“You are so on, Deimos!” Phobos says, laughing as he starts catching up.

The two moons head towards Mercury with a newfound sense of optimism and a vague idea of a plan.