Chapter 1: Prologue
Notes:
Edit; realised I spelled the chapter name wrong. oops..
TW- mentions of child abuse
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Severus Snape had never believed in fate.
How could everything happen in favour of some divine plan, when that plan ended up with small, defenseless children living in homes with people who treated them like dirt on their shoes? How could you believe that there was someone watching out for you if there was a war going on around you, if you heard of a new death every day? How could you believe in a God, if it seemed as if that God had it out for you?
No, Severus had never believed in fate. That is, until he ended up in a hearing trying to gain custody of his ex-best friend's child. Now, he was sitting in a distinctly uncomfortable chair, facing a wizened old man, who was looking at him like he was something alien. Perhaps he was.
"Ehm- so, Mr.Snape, why is it you want to gain custody over the Potter child? It was my belief that you were the one who brought about the murder of his parents, by reporting a prophecy detailing his involvement in the war. Why should the MCPS trust you to take care of the child of James and Lily Potter?" The man's voice was wheezy and grating. Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes at the question. Of course, Dumbledore had refused to give him a character reference, leaving Severus to deal with his mistakes.
"I did not, in fact, report that prophecy to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. He is a rather skilled legilimens, would you know? The poor boy has nothing to do with the war, he's less than two years old! I witnessed the prophecy, though I didn't report it to The Dark Lord. He saw it in my memories, and started planning to kill the Potter and Longbottom children. As you know, I was a spy for the Order Of The Phoenix during the war- that was when I sought out Albus Dumbledore, and spent the last months of the war as a double agent, trying to prevent the murders of the Potters and Longbottoms. Unfortunately, our efforts were in vain, but Harry Potter wasn't actually found by the Dark Lord, he was at Andromeda Tonk's house, I believe, thus he wasn't touched by the Dark Lord." Severus said, keeping to hard, cold facts. the Longbottom boy had somehow defeated the Dark Lord, seemingly something to do with the prophecy, but Severus didn't care all that much.
He had a lot going on at the moment.
"Why are you, Severus Snape, trying to adopt Harry Potter?" Severus winced. To sound believeable, he had to tell the truth here. In this case, the truth being a very sad sob story.
"Albus Dumbledore put Harry in the care of Petunia and Vernon Dursley, his aunt and uncle. I, unfortunately, have met Petunia Dursley, and I know for a fact that she hates all things magical. So, when I heard that Harry was in their house, I rushed right over there to check on him. No matter what people may think of me, I will never abandon a child in need. I was abused as a child, and nobody deserves those scars." The wizard looked a bit apprehensive, maybe guilty, but he kept questioning.
"And, what did you see when you went to the Dursley residence?" Severus scowled, remembering the cries of pain, the shouting, the bruising-
"Petunia answered the door. From behind her, I could see her husband shouting at a cupboard in the wall, under the stairs. And unfortunately, I could hear a baby crying from inside said cupboard. I, naturally, told them to hand over the child or else I would call the police- muggle aurors- and they handed him right over. I gave the child to MCPS, and have been trying to adopt him ever since. I have seen him several times, and I really have come to care for him. I understand apprehension around letting me adopt him but hear this-
I really do care for the boy. I don't care who his parents were, I don't care if there's a prophecy about him. I only want to take him in, and care for him as though he were my own son. I know of the scars that trauma and abuse can leave, and I wish to minimise the pain for the boy. If you asked me why I care about him, I wouldn't be able to give you an answer, because love is inexplicable. I swear, I will love every little thing about him, from the midnight tantrums to the birthdays. I just want him to be safe, and to be my son." Severus finished, and saw to his bemusement that the wizened old man was crying.
"So sweet- very well. I will approve the adoption papers. As of today, you are the legal guardian of Harry James Potter. You may go and collect him from the foster home he's at."
Severus gaped. What!? They were- he was- What!?
"Here are his relevant papers, and I wish you all the best. Take care of him," The man pushed a pile of forms and documents into Severus' hands, and shooed him out. Severus stood in the hallway outside of his office, and stared down at the papers he had been given.
HARRY JAMES POTTER
Mother- Lily Potter-Evans (deceased)
Father- James Potter(deceased)
Guardian- Severus Snape
Severus stared at the document, tears welling in his eyes. He had fucking done it! Half a year of paperwork, of rejection and scorn, and he had finally done it! Robes billowing out behind him and barely restrained tears in his eyes, Severus Snape ran right out of that building and apparated right to the facility where Harry was. And when he held that tiny boy in his arms, he let the tears fall. Because he hadn't ever thought this was possible for him.
Right in that moment, Severus Snape cried tears of joy, because his life had changed forever, and for once, it was a good change.
He was happier than he had ever thought he could be.
Notes:
Next chaoter has Harry's POV and Draco's POV, several years later.
Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my blather! It means a lot <3
Chapter 2: Diagon Alley
Summary:
Harry and Draco meet for the first time
TW - child abuse, but nothing too graphic
Notes:
SO! Chapter two! This was actually origionally much longer, but I had to cut it in half!
A few things-
I messed with the timeline! I'm going back and editing it now, because I looked at my logic and it wasn't logical... So sorry to anyone who already started reading?MCPS - Magical Child Protective Services
(I just made that up)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Harry's POV
Harry woke early on the morning on the 31st of July,1993, and jumped right out of bed, already running to his fathers room. He threw the door wide open and jumped onto his dad's bed, bouncing up and down excitedly.
"Father! Dad! Parent! Favourite person in the whole entire world! Wake up, it's my birthday! I'm eleven! ELEVEN!!! practically a teenager!" Harry shouted in his father's face, who groaned and sat up slowly, rubbing at his eyes and scowling.
"Harry. What have I told you about reasonable hours for waking and sleeping?" Harry hung his head at the stern tone in Severus' voice. He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted like a toddler, looking up at his father through his lashes. He knew he was far too old for this- he was eleven now after all- but it always seemed to work on Severus and, sure enough, he did give Harry a quick hug before he slid out of bed and wrapped himself in a dressing gown.
"I suppose we can make an exception for today. You are eleven now, after all. Salazar, now you're almost a teenager and I'll have to deal with mood swings and puberty and whatnot." Harry pulled a face, walking into the house's kitchen to see-
"Presents!" Harry yelled, and bounded over to the pile of gifts on the kitchen table, immediately tearing into the wrapping on the first one. Severus laughed at his antics and set about making breakfast as Harry unwrapped the many gifts. He recieved dress robes from Andromeda, a Muggle adventure novel from Ted, a snake plushy from Dora and a long, thin, locked box from Severus. Harry tilted it from side to side, trying to figure out how to open it without a key. He caught Severus looking at him in amusement, and held out the box.
"Can you open it please?" Harry asked. Severus produced a key from- somewhere- and unlocked the box to reveal-
"Wands!?" Harry squealed when Severus handed him the open box. Indeed, inside there were two wands. One longer, one shorter. Harry gazed at them in wide-eyed amazement and held out a hand to touch the shorter of the two, which was eminating a soft, familiar magnetic pull. Harry looked to his father for permission, and upon recieving a firm nod, picked up the wand. Immediately, warmth rushed up his arm and through his body, and the wand shot out bright green sparks. Harry cradled the wand in his hands, and stared at it with an expression of reverance. It felt familiar, somehow, and holding it made him feel undeniably powerful.
"Harry, that was your mother's wand. The longer one was your father's. I gave them two you in the hopes that one of them may choose you, and it seems I was correct! Your mother's wand has chosen you as it's wielder."
Harry stared at his mother's wand- his wand- in his hand for a second, before putting it down and jumping up to hug his father.
"Thankyouthankyou" He gushed, squeezing the air out of his dad's lungs. He knew that Severus wasn't his blood father, knew that his parents had been killed by the most powerful dark wizard of all time, but Harry saw the man as a father, and made sure he knew it.
"You're welcome, Harry. Now sit at the table, breakfast's almost ready, and we have a busy day ahead!" Harry obediently sat, picking back up his new wand and examining it closely.
"What are we doing today?" He asked absently, admittedly distracted looking at the wand in his hand. Severus put a plate of pancakes in front of Harry, and sat in the chair next opposite him. He took a thick, cream envelope out of his dressing gown pocket, and handed it to Harry. It was a huge envelope, with a fancy wax seal, addressed to 'Harry James Potter'. Harry stared at the letter in wide-eyed excitement. Was this what he thought it was? Harry ripped the envelope open and read the letter quickly, jittery with excitement.
To Harry James Potter;
It is my delight and pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted into Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry for the coming September.
Find enclosed your ticket for the train and a list of all required materials for all first years.
We look forward to seeing you on September first.
Kind Regards,
Minerva McGonagall, vice principal and head of Gryffindor house.
Harry squealed and bounced up and down in his chair. This was amazing! He had known he was getting into Hogwarts, all magical children in Britain had a spot, but he was excited to recieve confirmation nonetheless! Only-
"Does Hogwarts have to be a boarding school?" Harry asked, suddenly subdued. Severus looked at him in confusion, clearly not seeing what he was getting at.
"Yes. I was under the impression you wanted to go to Hogwarts?" Severus raised an eyebrow, and Harry sighed.
"I'll miss you, not seeing you for so long! Hogwarts is in Scotland, and we aren't allowed family visits." Harry wailed, feeling tears prick at his eyelids and rubbing at them furiously. He was eleven now, he wasn't supposed to cry just because he would miss his dad! Severus, however, looked quietly amused, and Harry shot him the angriest glare he could muster, though it was mitigated by the fact he was crying pathetically.
"Harry it's fine! You aren't going to miss me." Severus' attempts to console Harry were for naught, and he just layed his head in his arms, sniffling.
"Yes I will! I've never been a week without seeing you, let alone an entire school term!"
"Harry, you aren't going to go two days without seeing me. I found out this morning! I have been employed as the Slytherin Head of House and potions Master of Hogwarts."
Harry gaped. His dad. Severus Snape. Was coming to Hogwarts with him? Harry jumped up out of his chair and screamed at the top of his lungs, overcome with excitement. He bounced around the kitchen, exclaiming about how great this is, and how he couldn't wait to have Severus teach him. Severus watched him race around the room with a fond (allbeit exhasperated as Harry knocked over yet another glass of water) look in his eyes.
This year was going to be awesome.
~~~
Draco's POV
Draco Malfoy was not supposed to be in his room playing with a grass snake that he had found outside and smuggled into his closet. He was supposed to be downstairs, ready to go to Diagon Alley to buy his school supplies. But, his father was in a bad mood today, something Draco was constantly reminded of by the fresh bruise on his side. Draco sighed, and put the snake into the tank he had gotten off the house-elves. He exited the closet and, dragging his feet as much as humanly possible, headed to through the cold, empty halls of Malfoy Manor. His footsteps echoed through the silent halls, the silence absolute bar Draco's movements. When Draco came in sight of his parents, he straightened his posture and stilled his twisting hands.
"Ah, Draco. Hurry along, your mother and I have business to attend to!" Lucius ordered, voice cold and eyes filled with an impatient anger. Draco scurried over to his mother where she was standing at the door, and stood waiting, staring at his feet. He know he had to go with them, to buy his school things, but he really just wanted to go and hide in his closet with his snake. He had only had the thing for less than an hour, and it had mostly been sleeping, but it didn't hiss at him or try bite him, so he took that as a good sign. Draco thought about the snake the whole journey to Diagon Alley. It was far easier to think about what it ate and how to smuggle it into Hogwarts than it was to listen to his parents complain about muggleborns, squibs, and Draco's least favourite subject of scorn, 'the gays'
So, rather than listen to his parents complain about boys who liked boys or girls who liked girls, Draco brainstormed potential names for a snake. Something astronomical, maybe? Or mythological? Draco had a great interest in astromomy and mythology, able to prattle on about it for hours, if anyone would let him. He also had a strange fascination with snakes, though he hadn't ever seen one in person until he found the grass snake that was currently in his closet.
"Draco! Are you even listening to me? And how many times do I have to tell you to look at me when I'm talking to you!" said Lucius. Draco forced himself to meet his gaze, ignoring the intense discomfort he felt whenever he looked someone in the eye.
"Father?" He said meekly, hoping he didn't come off as rude. Lucius narrowed his eyes, and pursed his lips in dissappointment.
"Your mother and I have business to attend to, so you will be doing your shopping by yourself. You know what you need, and you know your way around Diagon Alley. I expect you to be on your best behavior, and act in a way befitting of a Malfoy." Draco nodded in affirmation, fighting to keep the feelings of hurt and anger from showing on his face. Why couldn't his parents come with him? They hardly ever spent any time together, and Draco was their only son. He did what they asked of him, acted like the perfect heir to his name. He hid the parts of themself that they didn't like, tried and tried to be the perfect son that they could love.
Draco wanted that desparately. Their love. He wanted them to be proud of him, to look at him and think that he was just as they had always hoped. But Draco knew that the only way to make them proud was to cut away all the parts of himself they didn't approve of, mould himself into the perfect son and heir. But then, Lucius and Narcissa wouldn't be proud of Draco. They would be proud of an act, someone who was there but not real in the ways that matter.
But Draco was a eleven year old boy, and he had nobody other than his parents. He loved them like the world, and hoped they loved him too.
***
"Hmm- maybe... could if be? If so, that would be curious, terribly curious- try this one for me, Mister Malfoy." Ollivander handed Draco what felt like the thirtieth wand he had tested, but this time, it felt different. Rather than cold, unresponsive wood, this wand felt warm and inviting. When Draco swung his arm down, he felt a rush of power travelling from his core, down his arm and into the wand, emitting a stream of bright sparks. Draco sighed in relief. He had been worried he would never find a wand, at this rate, and Garrick Ollivander was a creepy fellow. Draco didn't want to spend any more time in his company than he had to.
"Curious- holly and phoenix feather, 11 inches, nice and supple- terribly curious..." Draco bristled. He couldn't understand why the man didn't just tell him what was so curious. He was just wasting time, really.
"What is it?" Draco's voice came out quite angry and impatient, though he hadn't intended to sound so furious.
"Ah, apologies, I shall explain. That wand was made with a phoenix feather, as I said. Now, usually, only one hair, feather, or heartstring is given by any one magical animal, to make wands. However, this particular phoenix gave two- and the wand with the other feather belonged to none other than he-who-mus-not-be-named himself! It likely means that there is something that ties the two of you together, be it an ability or trait, as well as a healthy dose of magical power. But, you shall figure it out. The wand chooses the wizard, and this phoenix feather saw something in you."
Draco's blood ran cold. Something similar with the Dark Lord? A talent? An opinion? No matter how he may act when he was with his parents, he thought that blood supremacy was a load of bullshit. He believed that everyone deserved the right to live, to happiness, no matter their background or their heritage. Magic is magic, love is love, blood is a liquid that shouldn't decide your social standing.
So, what could Draco possible have in common with The Dark Lord? Draco hoped he would never be like that man. He was terrified of the stories Lord Voldermort. Hoped that he would never be brought back. Do what did the wand see that linked them?
Draco noticed Ollivander was staring at him expectantly, so he mutterd a hurried thanks and payed him, and all but ran from the shop. Right out into the loud, bright, busy street. Draco ducked between people, trying to get to Madame Malkins, to escape the entirely too loud street. Draco managed to dart into the clothes shop, blocking out the animals hooting, mewling and barking, the people talking, the magical objects clicking and whirring. Madame Malkins was quiet, the only sound was faint conversation coming from deeper in the shop.
Draco leaned back on the door, trying to compose himself before anyone saw him in this state.
Draco, don't be idiotic. The sound of a busy street won't hurt you, now step away from the door. You're embarrassing yourself and the family.
Lucius' voice echoed in Draco's head, and he pushed the thought aside. He had long accepted that he wasn't like other people. He didn't know why, but loud noises, scratchy fabrics and eye contact all made him want to curl up in a small, safe and quiet place and cry and flap his hands until they went numb. Draco resists the urge to shake his hands now, remembering his mother saying that it looked unnatural. Sighing resignedly, Draco pushed himself off the door and walked further into the shop, towards the register. There stood Madame Malkin, and a boy who looked to be about Draco's age. Madame Malkin spotted Draco, and beckoned him over.
"Ah, Mister Malfoy! Come, dome. Would you mind waiting for a bit with Harry? I'm serving a customer at the moment," Draco agreed, offering her what he hoped was a kind smile. He liked Madame Malkin, she has always been kind to him, and so he made sure to be polite to her. Draco sat where she pointed to, and so did the boy she had called Harry.
"Hello! I'm Harry, What's your name?" the boy held out a hand, and Draco shook it, taking in his curly hair and vibrant green eyes.
"My name is Draco Malfoy," Draco braced himself for fear or anger from Harry, but instead he got bright excitement and curiosity,
"Draco? Like Dragon? That's cool! Are you starting Hogwarts this year too?" Draco blinked for a moment, and nodded dumbly. Did this boy not know the Malfoy name? Was he Muggle-born?
"Cool!" Harry kicked his legs up and down, staring at his hands in his lap. Draco was exceedingly glad he didn't have to make eye contact with him, but confused as to his blatant break of social cues. Did he not like eye contact either?
"Are you muggle-born?" Draco said, only realising after that that could potentially be a very offensive question. "Not that it's a problem- sorry, I shouldn't have asked-"
"Oh no, it's fine! I'm half blood, I think. Dad tells my that my genetic father was pureblood, and my mother a muggle-born," He explained. Draco nodded, and then stupidly asked another blunt question.
"Are you adopted?" Draco cringed. Why did he always manage to say the wrong thing? Harry, miraculously, didn't seem to care at all.
"Yes! The Dark Lord killed my parents, so I was adopted when I was just under two," Draco took this in, and then realised just who this boy was.
"Are you Harry Potter?" He asked, at this point having accepted that this boy didn't seem to take offense from his random blunt questions.
"Hm? Oh, yes! The 'boy-who-would-have-lived-if-he-was-home', or the 'would-be-chosen-one'. Apparently there was some prophecy about me or Neville Longbottom when we were babies. one of us are destined to defeat the Dark Lord. He didn't 'mark me as his equal' so I'm not really relevant anymore, but when he comes back I could probably force myself into the prophecy again? But I'm not the heroic type, and I'm under very strict instructions not to sacrifice myself. Feels heartless to say it, but I'll leave the chosen one business to Neville," Draco couldn't help but snort at his casual referance to leaving the fate of the world to someone else. It was perfectly reasonable, not everyone was self sacrificing and reckless.
"Not a Gryffindor then?" Draco giggled, and Harry grinned.
"No way! Slytherin, more likely, though I feel I could fit in the other two houses. My dad's Slytherin, and I have like- and sense of self-preservation, so not a Gryffindor." Draco laughed, actually laughed, which wasn't something he was supposed to do, but he couldn't help but laugh!
"I'm probably Slytherin too, so maybe we'll be in the same house!" Draco suggested, feeling warm and tingly inside. This boy was so nice, and Draco definately wanted to befriend him. Draco wasn't sure how to go about it, though, as he had never actually had any friends who weren't his parent's associate's children, horrible children who just parrotted their dreadful parents. How does one go about making friends with someone who wasn't only spending time with you out of fear?
Luckily, Draco didn't have to take the initiative, as Harry suddenly turned to him, hand outstretched.
"Well, since it's likely we'll both be in Slytherin- friends?" Draco took his hand, and shook it happily. He was actually asking to be Draco's friend?
"Friends!" Draco smiled widely, for once not having to worry about if his smile looked genuine.
Notes:
Thank you to anyone who bothered to read the second chapter of this work!
I will try to post regularily, but I'm working on another fic parallell to this one that I haven't started posting yet. I'll probably do something tomorrow, because I'm stuck at home with sickness (Boo!) but I make no promises
Chapter 3: Who knew shopping could be fun?
Summary:
Shopping! And snakes.
Notes:
Here I am, again, posting. The chapter title is something I resonate with, because I always hated shopping until I started shopping with friends and cousins, and realised that it didn't have to be boring AF.
So, I'm really tired posting this, so there are probably a hundred spelling mistakes and a bunch of awkward sentences, (I can't spell the word definately to save my life)so... enjoy, I guess?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco's POV
Harry made completely meaningless conversation the whole time Madame Malkin was fitting their robes, talking about quidditch and his Dad's owl and whole slew of other subjects that really had no consequence whatsoever, and it was so unlike what Draco was used to the he found himself just listening as Harry talked and talked, moving from subject to subject almost faster than Draco's brain could keep up with. He was perfectly content to just listen though, because there wasn't anything he would have had to say anyway. He was used to every conversation perfectly scripted, every sentence a veiled threat, so he had no idea how to talk to someone who wasn't some pureblood politician's child, trying to cosy up to him, trying to get some law passed or something.
Harry however, was talking to him purely because he wanted to. And though that left Draco feeling warm and happy and for once in his life, like someone actually wanted to be around him, he had no fucking idea of how to interact in this situation.
"Draco!" Harry waved a hand in front of Draco's face, and he realised too late that he had completely zoned out. Draco winced, and looked over at a very bemused Harry.
"Yes?" He said tentatively, trying not to sound abrasive, expecting anger or irritation or even a slap across the face, but instead Harry chuckled flicked his hair. Draco opened his mouth but how was he supposed to react to that?
"Well, I was asking where your parents are?" Harry said, still laughing. Draco took a moment to formulate an answer, trying to process what had just happened.
"Wuh- My parent's have business to attend to?" Draco tried to say it as a fact, but it sounded more like a question. Why could he never get his tone of voice right?
"Oh, okay! Do you want to do the rest of your shopping with me and my dad? You shouldn't be going around Diagon yourself, it's really busy today," the invitation took Draco completely off guard. Forgetting to school his expression and look carefully indifferent, Draco smiled widely and bounced on the balls of his feet, elliciting an exhasperated sigh from Madame Malkin, who was trying to pin up his robes.
"Yes please! Only if you're sure your father won't mind," Harry shrugged his shoulders like I dunno.
"Eh. 'sfine. He won't mind, he wouldn't want you going around alone either," his tone was so flippant, and Draco found himself wanting to meet this man. He sounded so unlike Draco's own father, and Draco was curious to see who had raised the boy before him, unlike anyone he had ever met before.
"O-kay... who is your father anyway?" Draco agreed hesitantly. His mind was screaming at him that he shouldn't agree, that Malfoys don't have friends. Malfoys have associates, every human connection for poltical or societal gain. A friendship with a random half-blood he had met in a shop was the opposite or gaining power in pureblood society.
"Oh, his name is Severus. Severus Snape." Draco knew the name, though he couldn't place from where. His father may have mentioned him, at some time, but Draco couldn't for the life of him remember when. Madame Malkin finished what she was doing, and shooed Draco off the stool. She helped him take off the now-fitted robes, accidentally brushing the bruise on Draco's side. He flinched violently, and studiously avoided looking at Harry or Madame Malkin.
"Okay boys, I'm done with you. Here are your robes." Madame Malkin handed Draco a bundled package, and he thanked her. He handed her a handful of galleons, and followed Harry back out into the main shop. And walked straight into a tall man with long, black hair and very dramatic robes. Stuttering his apologies and ignoring the stabbing pain in his side, Draco backed away from him, hoping he wasn't about to be hexed.
"Dad! This is my friend Draco! Draco, this is my dad, Severus Snape." Draco stared at the man, who was looking at him with no small amount of curiousity.
"Hello. Draco Malfoy, I presume?" His tone of voice had something behind it, but Draco couldn't name it. He nodded meekly and held out a hand to shake.
"It's a pleasure," his voice came out high and squeaky, and Draco cursed his vocal chords. now? Really? Snape looked at him with amusement, and shook his hand.
"Truly, the pleasure is all mine, Mr.Malfoy." Draco cringed. This man definately know his father. Hopefully he wouldn't hold his father's assholery against him.
"Dad, can Draco come around shopping with us please? His parents are busy," Harry asked, making the most bizzarre face, sticking out his bottom lip and pouting. Draco suppressed a snort of amusement, because that was definately not acting in a way befitting of a Malfoy.
"I don't see why not?" Snape looked exhasperated with Harry's antics, but he smiled nonetheless. Harry looked to Draco in excitement, physically bouncing up and down. His smile was infectious, and Draco soon found himself grinning back.
* * * *
For once in his life, Draco was actually enjoying a trip to Diagon Alley. Harry had this infectious energy about him, that made Draco want to respond with equal enthusiasm. They bought all their books, as well as a few other spellbooks full of trick spells and hexes that Snape pretended not to notice. They bought quills and ink, finding a pot of ink that changed colour with every word you wrote. It seemed impractical, but Harry bought it anyway, exclaiming about how much more aesthetically pleasing he could make letters now. Draco only bought the things on the list, knowing that his father would be able to see anything that he bought. But, he still enjoyed Harry ask for increasingly ridiculous things, and always recieving an exhasperated no from Snape.
"Where to next?" Harry was asking his father as they left the apothocary, sporting all the things that they should need for Potions. Draco's bag was thankfully enchanted to stay feather-light, or else he would probably have great difficulty hoisting it about, it had so much in it now.
"The Magical Menagerie," Snape said as he led them through a thankfully much less busy street. Draco tensed, feeling dread curdle his stomach. He hated the menagerie. There were so many loud animals, all barking and mewling and squeaking and hissing and chirping and hooting and they all smelled awful, and whenever Draco went in there he felt like screaming and covering his ears, then running away and hiding.
He hesitated outside the door to the shop, and Harry noticed, because he stopped too. He whispered something in Snape's ear, who nodded and slipped into the shop, leaving Harry and Draco outside. Harry leaned on the brick wall, stretching his arms over his head and yawning widely.
"Why didn't you go in?" Draco asked him, going to stand next to him rather than stand awkwardly in front of the door. Harry shrugged, and gestured between Draco and the door.
"You looked like you didn't want to go in, and dad knows what I want anyway, so I don't need to go in too." He said it like it was nothing, like he couldn't have just left Draco outside alone, or told him to suck it up, or alternatively just pretend he hadn't noticed Draco's hesitation. Instead, he decided to stay outside in the street rather than go in and pick his own pet. Draco cleared his throat, and tried not cry, because for some reason even the smallest kindness made him feel like breaking down and wailing.
"Th-thank you. You really didn't have to-"
"It's fine! I don't like it much in there either, I always end up knocking into something." Harry shrugged again, and started playing with his fingers.
"What're you getting anyway?" Draco asked, accepting that Harry wouldn't let him apologise. Harry's eyes lit up, and he bounced on his feet.
"A snake! Isn't that cool!" Draco gasped, and flicked his fingers at his sides. Harry liked snakes too?
"Yes! I have a snake, kind of- I found it earlier today in my garden, and asked a house elf to find me a terrarium- what kind of snake are you getting? Mine's a grass snake, they're native to England! It's mainly been sleeping, but I read a book that said they make good pets, and they aren't venomous, so it's fine. How did you get permission to keep a snake at school?" Draco was speaking too quickly, blathering really, he could tell, but Harry didn't seem to mind.
"I don't know what type of snake, whatever they have in there that can't kill anyone. And I got permission from a head of house to keep it at school, that's all you need. I can get you permission, too, if you like." Draco looked at him quizically, about to ask how on earth he would do that, but Snape emerged from the Menagerie holding a small cage and he was cut off by Harry's excited yelp.
"Oh wow, she's beautiful! Thank you!" Harry hugged his father briefly, a show of public affection Draco wouldn't even dream of bestowing his own father, and took the snake. Draco peered at the reptile, and Harry was right, she was beautiful. At first glance, she was just brown, but the light reflected off her scales in a variety of colours. Harry gushed about how beautiful she was, while Draco examined her closely. She had been sleeping, but Harry's talking seemed to have woken her up.
"Sssstupid humanssss. Waking me up from my sssleep." She hissed, and Draco recoiled. the snake could talk? Harry looked dumbfounded too, but Snape wasn't affected at all.
"What?" Harry asked, and though Draco could understand him perfectly, Snape didn't from the look on his face.
"Harry? Are you- speaking parseltongue?" He asked cautiously, and Harry looked about as confused as Draco felt.
"He did?"
"I did?" Harry and Draco said simultaniously, and if they both hadn't just found out that they could apparently talk to snakes, it would have been funny. But, Draco wasn't really thinking about anything other than the fact that he could talk to snakes.
And he hadn't noticed.
"HOLYCRAPICANTALKTOSNAKES!" Harry shouted, and Draco covered his ears in shock. He lowered his hands sheepishly, though neither Harry or Snape had noticed, both too busy with the realisation that both Harry and Draco were parselmouths. Aren't parselmouths supposedly super rare?
Draco wondered why there was such a stigma around the ability. It was only a language, after all. It couldn't be that rare, people probably just kept the ablility quiet for fear of being discriminated against by their peers.
"Harry, as exciting it is that you can speak to snakes, aparrentely, we should be heading home. So should you, Mr.Malfoy, don't you have to meet your parents?" Snape pointed out, and Draco yelped. He had completely forgotten! Muttering a hurried goodbye to Harry and Snape, Draco took off down the street, hoping desperately he would arrive before his parents. He reached the Leaky Cauldron at five minutes to six, and thankfully had enough time to steady his breathing before his parents arrived.
Throughout the journey home, Draco's mind played the day on a loop, a small smile playing at his lips. He was really starting to look forward to his time at Hogwarts.
Notes:
Thanks for reading, and thank you to anyone who has commented or left kudos on this work! 12 kudos probably isn't actually a lot, but it feels like it is!
Also, just an honourable mention for how much time Draco spends just completely dumbfounded, it's hilarious. I love making people chronically confused!Edit: I've been going back and changing Harry and Draco's ages. Where I live you start secondary school at thirteen, so I wrote them as thirteen and then realised that they would be like, twenty in seventh year so I'm changing it.
Sorry...
Chapter 4: Dinner
Summary:
Dinner with the Malfoy family
Notes:
Salutations! Yet again, apologies for any spelling mistakes! It's crazy hot where I live and I'm DYING.
TW:
Mentions of abuse
Injury detail
Mentions of torture
Lucius Malfoy is a warning in itself.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco's POV
Draco was having dinner with his parents when it started. Draco was sitting at his place at the ridiculously long table, in their dining room. They had just finished eating the first course, making polite small talk about the weather, as if they were strangers on a bus, when Lucius brought it up.
"You shall be going to Hogwarts in a month, yes?" He asked, like he didn't already know. Draco nodded, and put down his cutlery. It was rude to eat while someone was talking to you.
"Yes father," He replied, not entirely sure where this was going. Was he in trouble? When was he not, really. Hopefully it was nothing too bad, he was already black and blue.
"I wish to set my expectations for your behaviour while at Hogwarts. You must always hold yourself with the most dignity and poise. No slouching, no fidjeting, no tapping." Lucius shot Draco a pointed look, and he quickly stilled his fingers, sitting stock-still. He felt like he may explode, energy fizzing through his limbs and willing him to move, but he wouldn't give in.
"You will be sorted into Slytherin, and begin making beneficial alliances. The Blaise, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle families should suffice for now." Draco suppressed a grimace, and nodded again. Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle were vile, sadistic boys, and he would really rather not spending any time with them. Why couldn't he just be friends with Harry? He was nicer than any of the boys Draco's age that Lucius would approve of.
"Your father and I expect you to write often, and give us updates on how things are going. You will associate yourself only with people with the purest of blood. You should get to know the Parkinson and Greengrass girls, as they are likely marraige candidates for you in the future." Narcissa's words made Draco's stomach sink. He really didn't want to enter an arranged marraige with Astoria Greengrass or Pansy Parkinson, or any girl he knew for that matter. Draco refused to think about the implications behind this.
Because he was Draco Malfoy. Heir to house Malfoy, and he was expected to marry a wealthy pureblood girl, and produce many heirs. He was supposed to have great power within the ministry, and work towards the return of the Dark Lord.
He didn't have a choice in the matter, and knowing what he really wanted would make the whole thing so much more painful. If Draco was going to live a life he didn't want, he didn't want to be dreaming every night about what could have been. Ignorance is bliss, knowlege is torture.
"Of course, mother," Draco said, trying to keep the shake out of his voice. His leg was jiggling under the table, and now he couldn't just force it still. He wanted to leave, he didn't want to keep having this conversation.
"If I recieve word that you aren't conducting yourself in a proper manner, there will be punishment. I have eyes and ears at Hogwarts, don't think you're getting away with anything. Do you hear me?" Lucius' voice was cold and indifferent, nothing like the way a father should address his son. Draco's heart squeezed in his chest when he recalled his father when he was younger. The Lucius Malfoy who had read him bedtime stories and hugged him when he cried was very different from the man who sat before him now. Draco wondered what had gone wrong. Was it his fault, that his father didn't seem to love him?
Draco realised too late that he had started shaking his hand. He clenched his fingers into a fist, and squeezed his hands between his legs to stop them moving. Draco looked up to where his father was watching him with fiery anger.
"I'll take that to mean you need- instruction, on how to behave. You know, if you like to move your hands so much, why not make that a permanent fixture? At least then you'll have an excuse other than being an unworthy freak." Draco's blood ran cold. There was only one magical way to permanently give someone a tremor or a shake. Surely not-
No father would do that to his own son!
But, Draco thought as he watched Lucius draw his wand, the love between you and your father has been one-sided for a very long time. Draco could have drawn his wand. Could have tried to protect himself. But fighting back would only make things worse, in the end. Lucius Malfoy was far more powerful than his son.
"Crucio."
Harry's POV
Harry was sitting at the table, drawing, when he heard a faint tapping on the kitchen window. He looked up, wondering what it was, to see a great eagle owl, perched on the window sill.
"Are we expecting post?" Harry yelled out, opening the window. The owl hopped into the room, and held out his leg. Harry took the scroll, saw that it was addressed to him, and yelped. WHo on earth was sending him letters?
"I didn't think so," Severus walked into the kitchen, took in the owl and the letter in Harry's hand, and shrugged.
"THat's the Malfoy's owl, you know," He pointed out. The owl in question was currently pecking at Harry's sleeve, clearly vying for a treat. Harry absently gave him a few, and sat back down at the table. The letter was made of thick, good-quality paper, and it had a wax seal with what must be the Malfoy crest.
"Must be from Draco," Harry mumbled, and gently popped the seal off the letter. He carefully unfolded the paper, and started to read the letter.
Harry,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to ask you a favour, if you would be willing to help me with something. As I mentioned before, I have a pet grass snake that I found in my garden. I am not actually allowed to have a pet, so I cannot leave him in the care of my parents whilst I am at Hogwarts this year. Since you offered to help me get permission to have a snake at school, I am asking you now to please do just that.
I talked to him, and his name is a long hiss that I can't spell, so I have decided to call him Saturn. I find it quite strange that the two of us can speak Parselmouth, even though it is supposedly such a rare ability. Perhaps the stigma around it stops people from admitting that they can speak it?
Sorry to ask a favour, but I really can't leave Saturn at home.
Kind Regards,
Draco Malfoy.
Harry read the letter quickly, finding the writing difficult to understand. It looked like Draco usually had very neat, loopy writing, but the lines were wobbly and thin, like his hand had been shaking. Maybe he had been in a car when he wrote it? But wizards didn't use muggle transport-
Harry shrugged it off, and instead focused on the words written. The tone of the letter was very formal, almost to the point of being stuffy. Harry exhaled a laugh through his nose when he reread the end. Kind Regards? He was using language like he was writing a job application.
"Hey dad, can Draco get permission to bring his snake to school too? It's a grass snake, non-venomous. It won't grow big enough to eat anything bigger than a rat," Harry explained to Severus, who agreed easily.
"At least then it won't look like I'm biased towards you." he said as he signed the relevant paperwork. Harry batted his eyelashes and smiled sweetly at him.
"Aww, you mean you aren't biased towards your only son? what a bummer, there I was thinking you loved me." He sighed melodramatically and sank back in his chair, pretending to be mortally wounded. Severus just gave him the paperwork and rolled his eyes.
"Ha ha, very funny. I don't want people thinking you're only allowed a snake because your dad is Slytherin head of house, it'll raise more than a few eyebrows."
"Ah, well. If I do well in your classes, they'll think you're just being nice!"
"Then do badly in my classes, and nobody will be able to even consider the idea that I'm going easy on you,"
Harry scoffed, and pulled out a new sheet of paper to write a reply to Draco. As if he was going to fail Potions.
Notes:
Thanks for reading! For anyone wondering why Draco didn't tell Harry about what happened, it's because he doesn't think there would be much use in it. He doesn't think anyone cares enough to bother helping him, and he thinks that the only people in the world who care about him are his parents, but he's realising that they don't seem to care about much more than his social standing.
But worry not! I'm not leaving poor Draco alone in that house for much longer! I don't like being mean to him, so he shall soon escape, and go live with actually decent human beings!
Chapter 5: Letters
Summary:
Just Harry and Draco writing letters to each other.
Notes:
I strangely enjoy just writing the letters. This is a short enough chapter, but stuff happens!
Any spelling mistakes in Harry's letters are probably deliberate, and if they weren't nobody need know. Constructive criticism is welcome, but please don't be mean!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco,
What's with the formal letter writing? It's so stuffy, it's actually kind of funny. Try and loosen up a little, you aren't applying for a job!
Anyway, Saturn's a cool name for a snake! Does he like it? Youre right, it is strange that we're both parselmouths, given it's supposedly so rare. Wasn't the Dark Lord one as well? Strange coincedence.
So, I forgot to tell you in Diagon, but my dad Severus is actually Slytherin head of house. Crazy, right? I also sent along the paperwork to bring Saturn with you, all you have to do is sign it and send it to the school.
Harry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry,
I am merely writing the letters as I was taught. I am not entirely sure what you meant by stuffy, but it is only proper for me to use correct spelling and grammar when writing!
I believe Saturn doesn't mind the name, he doesn't protest when I refer to him as such, so I suppose he must hold some positive opinion about it.
I wonder how many parselmouths there are at Hogwarts? It surely can't just be us two, but I would think people just hide that they can speak it. The stigma around the language is ridiculous, it's only hissing!
The Dark Lord was indeed a parselmouth! This explains something I have been wondering about, actually. My wand has a twin core to the Dark Lord's, and this is likely what the wand found in common between us! Ollivander said it could be an opinion or ability that ties us together, but I don't share any key beliefs with the Dark Lord and his death eaters, so I was worried why the wand chose me.
I suppose it just likes parselmouths.
I am shocked to hear that your father will likely be our head of house! I only hope I made a good impression. I cannot express my gratitude to you for helping me obtain a permit to keep my snake. it was terribly kind, and I am in your debt.
Kind Regards,
Draco Malfoy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco,
Seriously, loosen up a little! I'm not going to judge your grammar, and do you think a care about ettequite?
Cool thing about your wand! Mine was my mum's, so I'm not entirely sure what its made out of. Probably should have asked when I got it, huh...
And you left a great impression on my Dad! He said you were- and I quote -"A very polite and intruiging young man. Not at all as you would expect from the Malfoy heir," Which basically means he thinks your cool.
Also, you aren't in my debt! Friends do favours for each other all the time, I don't expect repayment! Though, I would never turn down say... chocolate... *wink wink*
ALSOALSOALSO! Earlier today I was reading and incantation from a book earlier, trying to get some reading in ahead of time, and the book WENT ON FIRE!!! it wasn't even a fire spell! I just set the book on fire! I wasn't even holding my wand, it's crazy. Dad was SO ANNOYED, i swear he had steam coming out of his ears.
Harry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry,
I will attempt Try not to be so formal, if it irks you so.
You should absolutely have asked what the wand is made of! Different cores are better at different things, you know. And different types of wood have different temperamentalities! Go and ask your father what the wand is made of right now!
Speaking of him, I'm glad to hear I left a good impression. It wouldn't do to have my head of house hate me before the school year even starts!
On the subject, when the school year starts I will be expected to act certain ways and associate myself with certain people. Just so you know what's going on at the start of the year, when we begin school.
I am supposed to act with contempt towards muggle-borns and 'impures'. I don't like to do so, and I certainly don't share my father's views on the subject, but I at least have to act cold towards muggle-borns.
I have to spend a certain amount of time with Pansy Parkinson and Astoria Greengrass, because I am unfortunately expected to marry one of them once I am of age. I don't find them the least bit attractive, and would prefer to avoid them entirely, Pansy especially. She clings to me far too much, I tell you.
I'm sorry if it causes you discomfort, but if I don't at least do these things I will be taught a lesson. Please understand that I won't be acting like a dick because I want to. I won't use slurs or things like that, and I'll only act with the barest minimum of contempt.
Kind Regards,
Draco
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco,
Sorry if this crosses a line or something, but your father doesn't sound like a very nice person. And what do you mean, 'taught a lesson'? He doesn't hurt you, does he?
Though i didn't grow up in pureblood society, i am aquaynted with the rules and norms of how to act. I never had to bother with them myself, because my dad doesn't, but rest assured I know that you are a nice human being and not a bigoted blood supremacist.
Glad to hear you won't use slurs at the muggle-borns. i didn't think you would, give how you acted at Diagon, but confirmation is nice. Maybe you could just avoid interaction? its not ideal, but its better than having to be mean.
Also, you already think about what girl you have to marry? thats awful, why on earth would an eleven year old need a maraige arangement? You should be able to marry who you want, not jsut the richest pureblood whos willing!
Harry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry,
Please don't tell anyone I said this, because he would inevitably hear about it, but you are right in saying that my father isn't very nice. He's a rich bigot who only cares about money, and making people he considers lesser pay for existing. I'm his son, and even I can see that he's an awful person.
I will try to avoid contact with the muggle-borns, thought it pains me to do so. It isn't their fault they aren't 'pure of blood', and it feels awful to just ignore their existence. Though, it is better than outright insulting them I suppose.
I am all too aware that I will have to marry either Astoria or Pansy, for entirely political reasons. Astoria is nice enough, but I really can't stand Pansy! I have no choice in the matter though, so I have to get to know them.
Kind Regards,
Draco.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DRACO! you didnt answer my question! Please tell me your dad isn't hurting you? If he is, you should tell MCPS! I get that he's your family, but if he's hurting you you need to get out.
Make sure you are safe?
Harry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry,
My father has political immunity. With enough money, he can get out of most sticky situations, and nobody at the ministry is going to risk trying to convict him of anything going off only my word.
I have nowhere to go anyway. I'm stuck, and I can't really explain in a letter what my father does to me. But I am not at risk of death, so I will be fine.
Draco
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DRACO!
I've decided we're going to meet in person. No objections, we can meet in Diagon ASAP and we'll sort this out. Not being at risk of dying isn't safe, Draco. Nobody deserves to be unsafe in their own home.
You WILL owl me a sate we can meet up SOON or I swear I AM CALLING MCPS!
Don't even try to object to this,
Harry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Harry,
I can meet you in fortescues in two days, at 1 o'clock, if you truly insist.
Kind Regards,
Draco Malfoy
Notes:
So, for anyone wondering why Draco doesn't even try to deny that he's being abused-
Last chapter was a turning point for him. His father used an unforigiveable on him, and he's starting to realise that maybe Lucius Malfoy doesn't care about family. That's gonna take him a while to grasp, but to Draco Harry is the only person who seems to give a shit.
Chapter 6: Important conversations over ice cream
Summary:
Draco and Harry talk about some deep stuff, whilst eating ice cream.
Notes:
Hello! Sorry this took a while, but I've been dealing with life shit and this chapter is a little long, but a lot of important things happen so its fine.
As always, expect spelling mistakes, I'm only human and editing is hard.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, regretting all of his life decisions up to that point. Why hadn't he just denied that his father was abusing him? Why not just lie and say that everything was fine? Now he had to either come up with an excuse, or tell Harry everything. But what was there to tell?
Oh yes, my father is abusive and beats me regularily while my mother watches and doesn’t even try to stop him?
I have hundreds of scars and bruises that haven’t ever seen medical treatment?
The torture curse is really quite painful?
You’re the only person who has ever cared enough to ask?
Draco groaned and shoved his face in his pillow. Why was this so hard? Why could he never seem to know what to say? It was hard enough to read people’s body language and facial expressions, so why did he have to say words on top of it all? Maybe he should get some sleep. Yes. Draco turned onto his side and closed his eyes, trying to calm his thoughts and drift off. But no matter how many sheep he counted, he was still panicking about tomorrow.
How was he going to get out of the house? He supposed he could just use the floo, but his father may be alerted of his departure. He could come up with a excuse, but what? He could say he had forgotten to buy something for school, but he would probably be punished for being careless. But what other reason did he have to go to Diagon Alley, other than the true one? He certainly couldn't tell his father that he was going to meet Harry Potter- or could he? Severus Snape was the Slytherin head of house, so he could say it was to gain favour...
Yes, he would say that. His father would probably be pleased he was going to try climb the school's social ladder already, making beneficial connections and all that. But even after Draco had settled on a way to go to Fortescue's, he still didn't know what in Salazar's name to tell Harry. The whole truth? That would end up with him being taken away from the manor, Did he want that? He had nowhere else to go, but anywhere would be better than home.
And then there was the part of Draco that loved his parents, and wanted their approval desperately. He craved their love, and if he left they would be furious. What was he supposed to do?
After hours of spiralling, repeating the same thoughts again and again inside his head, Draco ascertained that he was most definitely not going to get a wink of sleep. So, he crawled out of bed to go see if Saturn was awake. Thankfully he was, so Draco lifted him out of his cage. The smooth feel of scales against his skin and heavy weight in Draco’s hands grounded him, and he immediately felt less panicked.
“What issss it massster Draco?” Saturn asked, seemingly having noticed Draco’s general air of despondance. Draco recounted the story to the snake, who listened attentively. Or seemed to. It’s hard to read the facial expressions of a snake. Finally, once Draco had told Saturn basically his entire life story, he paused.
“So what am I supposed to say?” Saturn seemed to think for a minute, coiling his way up Draco’s forearm.
“Sssssay the truth. That your father issss horrible and you want a way out.” Draco blinked for a second. What? That wasn’t true. Sure, his father was terrible, and probably didn't care about him in the slightest, but Draco had nowhere to go. He could just keep his head down, do what he's told, and his parents would stop punishing him. Maybe they would even love him, if he was good enough. The little voice in the back of Draco's head piped up, giving irritatingly correct advice as always. But that will never happen. You'll just give and give and all they will do is take, until you have nothing left. You will end up a shell of who you once were, and all you will be is the perfect pawn for your father's schemes. Draco took a deep, steadying breath and tried his best at a smile.
“Thank you Saturn. I know what I have to do.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry
Harry sat next to his dad at a three person table outside Fortescue's ice cream parlor, nervously anticipating Draco’s arrival. He half expected him not to show up, and if that happened Harry didn’t know what he would do. Thankfully, at precisely seven minutes past two, Harry spotted a platinum blond head of hair in the throng of people, and waved him over. Harry contained himself just until Draco sat down, and then immediately bombarded him with a flurry of concerned questions.
“Draco! Are you okay? You don’t look like you’ve slept! Did he hurt you? Did you get here al right? Are-”
“Harry! Salazar, let the boy breathe! It’ll help no-one if you overwhelm him further.” Severus scolded, and Harry shut up rather quickly. Severus turned to Draco, who Harry could now see looked incredibly tense and nervous, and offered him a kind smile.
“Hello again. I’m sorry about Harry, but he’s been sick with worry ever since your letter. Now, before you tell us anything, would you like some ice cream?” Severus asked. Draco nodded meekly, ordering a scoop of peppermint. The waitress took their orders and went off to get them, leaving the group in tense silence, a stark contrast to the bustling street. Severus waited until they had their ice creams at the table, and sat forward in his chair, lacing his fingers together in front of him. Harry knew that posture meant business.
“Harry tells me he had reason to believe that you are being mistreated at home. If this is so, I give you my word I will stop at nothing to ensure you get somewhere safe and comfortable to go home to. I know that this is hard, but I need you to answer a few very important questions for me, alright?" Draco visibly tensed, and inhaled sharply. He nodded slowly, stock still. Though, Harry could see his hands twisting in his lap.
Do either of your parents hit you or use painful spells on you?” Harry watched Draco with baited breath, knowing the answer but wanting confirmation. Draco hesitated, then nodded slightly. Severus leaned back in his chair, an expression of quiet contemplation on his face. Draco, however-
Draco was pale as a ghost, and he was frozen still as stone. He looked terrified, and he was breathing far too quickly. Harry watched him with concern, and when Draco didn’t react to Harry waving a hand in front of his face, Harry reached a hand across the table and put it over Draco’s. Draco started, and pulled his hand to his chest, eyed flitting from Harry, to Severus, to the street behind him. He looked like he was going to bolt.
“Wha- hey! Draco, what’s wrong?” Harry tried, but Draco was visibly hyperventilating, and though Harry barely knew him, it hurt to see Draco so clearly upset.
A group of witches passed them on the street, cackling loudly, and Draco flinched and recoiled from the noise. Harry had no idea what to do to comfort him, though he was clearly struggling. Thankfully, Severus knew exactly what to do. Harry watched as Severus brandished his wand, muttering a spell under his breath, and was surprised when everything went silent. Harry could see people chatting, animals barking, hissing and hooting, magical objects clicking and whirring, but he could no longer hear them. It was like a private bubble of silence.
“Mr.Malfoy, can you hold your breath for me, for five seconds?” Severus said in an uncharacteristically soft voice. Draco complied, and let out the breath in a long whistle. He looked significantly calmer now, and Harry couldn't for the life of him figure out why. He was still shaking, still pale and panicked looking, but he was at least breathing normally.
“I apologise for losing my composure. I assure you, it will not happen again. ” Draco stated, voice shaking almost inperceptably, a flush colouring his cheeks. He looked- embarrased? Harry couldn’t imagine why.
“No apologies necessary, Mr.Malfoy. Now that you’re feeling a bit better, can I ask you another question?” Draco nodded, and offered up a weak smile.
“As a teacher, I am legally obligated to report what you have told me to Magical Child Protective Services. I’m sure you knew that when you answered my question. When I am filling out my report, I need to know if there is any family member who could take you in, beside your parents. What about your aunt, Andromeda Tonks? Have you met her?”
Harry gaped. Andromeda was Draco’s aunt? He had had no idea whatsoever! Draco looked a bit surprised at the question too, though probably not for the same reasons as Harry.
“I have not met her. My mother barely talks about her, she was disowned from the family. I- would she even want to take in the son of the sister who had cast her aside?” Draco’s voice had a shake to it, and Harry wanted nothing more than to storm over to Malfoy Manor himself and strangle Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. But, that was illegal and Draco probably wouldn’t appreciate it, so Harry abstained from committing murder.
"Andromeda is a close personal friend of mine, and believe me, she would love to take you in. She actually worries about you quite a bit, and she’s never met you. I assure you, she would be delighted to care for you, as would her husband Ted.” Severus intoned softly. Harry smiled hopefully at Draco, wanting to convey without words that what Severus was saying was true.
He had definitely not expected Draco Malfoy, king of poise and perfection, to burst into tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco
Once professor Snape and Harry managed to console Draco, it was already three o’clock and his ice cream was thoroughly melted. Not that he cared. He was still trying not to start crying again, something he was woefully embarrassed about. He hadn’t meant to break down in tears, but he had been so surprised and touched by the notion that someone had cared, all this time, that he couldn’t help but cry! Harry and Professor Snape had been very patient, though Draco could tell that Harry didn’t know what was wrong in the slightest.
“So I take it you would be happy living with your aunt?” Professor Snape eventually asked, an Draco nodded eagerly. Everyone was being so nice to him, it felt strange but undeniably good. Draco hadn’t really had that before meeting Harry. He had only ever met people his parents liked, and his parents only liked horrible people. Draco wondered just how far their kindness would go.
“The ministry will be reluctant to make a move on Lucius Malfoy, he’s incredibly politically powerful, so I’m afraid we need proof of the abuse. I hate to ask you this, but do you have any scars, wounds or bruises from your parent?”
Draco nodded, and hesitated only a moment before lifting his shirt to show skin that was almost entirely bruises, a horrific display of greens, reds, purples and blues painting his side. He also had several long scars, angry red lines drawn across his marred skin. Draco heard a gasp, and looked up to see Harry staring at the injuries. Draco quickly lowered his shirt, and cleared his throat awkwardly.
“I also have spell damage on one of my arms and a tremor from- from the torture curse,” Draco winced as he said the words and held up his left arm which was shaking almost imperceptably. Snape nodded grimly, looking impassive, but Harry looked furious. Draco wondered what he possibly could have done to make Harry so angry. Had he said something? Done something? He didn’t want Harry to be mad at him. He was literally Draco’s only friend, and his way out of his home.
“Why are you angry?” Draco blurted out before he could stop himself. Harry started, as if broken out of a daze, and blinked a few times. He looked quizically at Draco for a minute, before seemingly catching on to his meaning.
“I’m not angry at you, I’m angry at your parents for doing this to you. What could you possibly have done to deserve the torture curse? That's unforgiveable, quite literally! NO-one deserves that pain, and your father used it on a child?” Draco considered his answer for a second, before trying his best to explain his father’s ‘logic’
“I’m always fidgeting, I'm almost never still. That isn't proper in Pureblood society, and maybe- two weeks ago, I think, my father was giving me a lecture about how I was expected to act at Hogwarts, and I couldn't stay still, so he-" Draco's voice broke and he choked, snapping his mouth shut. He tried to force himself to keep going, but he couldn't form the words in his mouth. Draco glanced around furtively, trying to avoid looking at any of his companions. He didn't want to talk about this, he was trying to avoid thinking about it but now the memory of the pain was suffocating him and he couldn't think and he couldn't breathe and Harry was shouting far too loudly-
"The dickhead! Sorry dad- but not really- Why would he do that!?!?” Draco resisted the urge to cover his ears from the noise, until he remembered that his father wasn’t there, so he clamped his palms over his ears. He pulled his knees up to his chest, and hid his face from Harry and Severus. He was well aware he probably looked incredibly stupid, but he was tired, Harry’s shouting really was loud, and there was a word for what he was feeling but he couldn’t think of it right now. His thoughts were too loud, and Harry was too loud, and everything was too much. He wasn't supposed to act like this, he would surely be punished- he tensed his entire body, bracing for pain, for shouting and anger but instead all he got was a careful arm, pulling him up an guiding him. He followed obediently, head hung and ears blocked, until they stopped and he felt the pull of apparition. He was led through a door, and gently pushed into a chair. His eye's blinked closed, and now the lack of sleep was catching up to him as his thoughts faded away to the darkness of sleep.
Notes:
So, I'm aware that it's very early to get Draco out of the Manor, but it's actually important to the plot at school and I wanted to be nice to Draco, so here we are.
Also, I don't know how eleven year olds think and act? Probably less mature than this but its fiiiiiiiine.
Chapter 7: Magnetic
Notes:
Hi! I have a few things to say, but first an apology for taking so long to post. I have stuff in my life at the moment, so I haven't had much time to write. Sorry if I annoyed anyone, and I hope I can post again soon.
This chapter was really hard to edit, because I just read a sad book and was feeling angsty so this is less fluffy than the origional plan - somehowA hundred million thank yous to anyone who commented or left kudos on this work, your comments really made some of my bad days less bad.
Edit- So, this is my second time trying to post this chapter... heh... I'm stupid sometimes, and I accidentally deleted the chapter when I was halfway through editing. So yay, I guess?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Harry
“What will happen to him now?” Harry asked Severus and Andromeda, keeping a watchful eye on Draco’s sleeping form. He looked so peaceful and vulnerable like this. Harry needed to make sure nothing would hurt him the first time he met his aunt. Or ever.
“He won’t be going back to the Manor, that’s for sure. I suppose we’ll need to get his school things and clothes, but that can wait for another day.” Andromeda's words were happy, but her tone was edged with fear and her eyes betrayed anger and hate. Towards her sister, most likely.
"Good. I don't want those people to be able to lay a single finger on him, ever again," Harry said resolutely. The sight of battered skin, broken ribs left to heal wrong and the tremor that only cam from the cruciatus curse- it was as if they were imprinted on his eyelids. He could see nothing else when he closed his eyes. I was only pain. Draco's pain.
Was it selfish of Harry to call it his own pain too?
He would run to the ends of the Earth and back just to keep himself from seeing that pain again. Harry wasn't going to kid himself thinking that it was all over now.
Nothing was so simple.
“Draco has a pet snake, Saturn. He lives in a tank in Draco’s closet.” Harry informed the adults, who nodded seriously and told him in no uncertain terms that Saturn would definately be rescued. Harry found his mind wandering, consciousness drifting to a dark place.
He could see a figure with white blond hair writhing on the ground. He could hear the screams, the agony being ripped from his throat. Was this what it had been like, for Draco?
“Harry! Have you hear a word of what I’m saying?” Harry snapped back into reality, turning to face his father. His silence answered the question.
“As I was saying, I’m going to go and file this report. Harry, I want you to stay with Andromeda for when Mr.Malfoy wakes up. Got it?” Harry nodded quickly, sending a quick glance back in Draco's direction. He was like a magnet, Harry thought. Drawing his attention even in sleep.
“He'll need somewhere to sleep,” Harry could hear his voice speaking, but his mind was following his eyes as they traced Draco's face. The skin under his eyes was painted purple, looking like the bruises Harry couldn't forget. He wasn't likely to ever forget those injuries.
The world was full of monsters.
“Ah yes! Harry, do you know how he would like his room decorated? I haven’t the foggiest, and Severus tells me you have been writing a lot?” Harry looked between Andromeda and Draco, hesitating. He didn’t want to leave Draco, lest he wakes up, but the boy was fast asleep, and Harry knew he would appreciate having a bedroom-
Harry stood up and first walked over to Draco, manouvering him into a less uncomfortable position. He felt breakable, like one wrong move could snap him. Not a problem, because Harry was holding him like he was the most precious thing in the world. He had only known this boy a few weeks, and here he was.
Noticing Andromeda's strange look, Harry left Draco sleeping and followed her out of the room, down the hall. But his mind stayed in the sitting room, with his friend.
For some reason, the word friend didn't cover the half of it.
~~~
Draco's POV
Draco woke up in an unfamiliar room, lying on a couch. There was a man lounging in a chair across from him, reading the newspaper. Had Draco seen him before? He thought not.
Draco curled in on himself, an almost inhuman sound escaping his mouth. The memories where he was, and why rushed back to him, and he choked on the tears that were very quickly threatening to spill. He had left his parents. He had left them. Sure, they had hurt him and forced him to be someone he wasn’t, but they had loved him! At least, Draco had loved them.
They had to have loved him too.
And he had left them, ran away with a random boy he barely knew but somehow still made him feel safe and warm.
He had left his parents because he was weak, and ungrateful. He should have been able to do what his parents had told him.
Stay still? technically possible.
Act like an asshole? Sure.
Marry a woman and have capable heirs? Why would there even be a problem there?
So why had it never been enough? Draco felt that he was always thinking these things on repeat, again and again. One step forward, two steps back. Would he ever have an answer to why he wasn't enough?
Draco let the tears fall, mourning the loss of the family he had left behind. Logically, he knew that he had done it to keep himself safe. But his eleven year old heart was screaming, because who was there now? Who did Draco have in his life that cared about him enough to keep him safe?
Andromeda, a woman Draco hadn’t met before today?
Severus Snape, Draco’s teacher who hadn’t actually taught him yet?
Harry, a boy Draco had met in a shop but had somehow become friends with?
How could any of these people care about what happened to Draco, when he couldn't have made a lasting impact on any of their lives? He was nothing, just a worthless piece of shit who couldn't even do the job he had been born to do.
How was he meant to know how to act? He wasn't alone in the room. Was he supposed to be grateful? Was he allowed be angry and sad and furious? Draco ignored the unfamiliar man’s questions, and dug his nails into his arms, sobs racking his frame. He didn’t register anything that was said to him, spiralling further and further into a pit of panic and despair until-
“Hey, Draco, it’s okay! You’re okay. Just breathe. in- out-” Draco tried to do as he was told, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. He opened his eyes and saw that Harry was kneeling in front of the couch. He was wearing an expression Draco hadn't seen on him before. Draco sniffled, and wiped his face on his sleeve, ignoring the voice in his head screaming to him to stop acting so informal. His mother would have a fit.
“Are you okay?” Draco didn’t know how to answer the question. He was- sad, angry, tired, elated, scared and lonely all at once, and the mix of feelings in his chest were threatening to suffocate him. After a long stretch of silence, Harry seemed to give up on getting an answer and tentatively took Draco’s hand, pulling him up from the couch.
“C’mon. Me and Andromeda have something to show you,” Harry said in a low voice as he led Draco to the door.
* * * *
Draco was crying again, something he was screaming at himself not to do but couldn’t seem to stop. He needed Andromeda to like him, didn't need her to know how weak he was, because she was the only hope he had. He was too weak to stay away from his parents, and too weak to return. But right now, he was staring at a door, into a bedroom. But it wasn’t the door that was making him cry. No, it was the sign on the door. Draco’s room.
They had set up a room for him. They had invited him into their house, and made a sign for his door, and were treating him with such kindness. Why? I haven’t done anything for these people, but they are giving so much to me, without expecting anything in return. Is this normal? Do people always act like this? Draco really didn’t know at this point. He reached out a shaking hand and pushed the door open to see a small room, much smaller than his one at the manor, but infinitely better in every possible way. It was cozy, it was warm, and there was a huge terrarium lining one wall, presumably for Saturn. The bed was made, with light yellow sheets and a large pile of cushions and blankets.
So many blankets.
But what really caught Draco’s eye was the hammock swing hanging from the ceiling in a corner of the room. It looked incredibly comfortable, and Draco found himself itching to sink into it with a good book. But first-
Draco turned around to see Harry, Andromeda, and the man that must be Ted watching him carefully. Draco clapped a hand over his mouth and choked out-
“Th-thank you. This is- you- Merlin- thank you!” Andromeda and Ted smiled warmly at him, looking at him with such care in their eyes. Andromeda patted him on the shoulder and gave him a nod.
“We’ll leave you to get settled in, okay? If there’s anything you need, anything, call me or Ted.” Andromeda smiled warmly at Draco before she and Ted walked down the hall back to the living room, leaving only Draco and Harry.
“Right. So, uh- I’ll just-” Harry made to turn and leave, but Draco stopped him.
“Wait!” Harry looked at Draco, clearly waiting for whatever it was he had to say, but the words wouldn’t come. After opening and closing his mouth a couple of times, Draco sagged against the doorframe and simply said-
“Why?” Harry didn’t seem to know what Draco was getting at, so Draco forced himself to elabourate.
“Why are you putting so much effort into helping some random kid you met in a shop? We barely know each other, and yet you-” Draco really didn’t know how to put into words how he was feeling. How do you ask someone why they give a crap? Draco sighed and slid to the floor, pulling his knees to his chest. He heard Harry sit down next to him, but neither of them said anything for a long while. Eventually, it was Harry who broke the silence.
“I’ve never really had many friends my age. I was schooled at home, and dad-Severus doesn’t really know that many people with children my age. I’m friendly with Andromeda’s daughter, Dora, but she’s a good bit older than me so I’ve never really gotten to know her all that well. I've met people at camps and events, but nothing that lasted. So, when I meet a stuffy, uptight blonde in Madame Malkin’s who’s also going to Hogwarts, I thought- why not try to get to know this guy? and then I find out we’re into loads of the same things. I was so happy when you sent me that first letter, you have no idea.
An then I find out that this wonderful boy I've gotten to know is being fucking abused- fuck, Draco, I couldn't do nothing. I don't know why, since I've only known you a few weeks, but I really care about you. I said I'm not the heroic type? Well, I lied. If I care about you, I would go to the moon and back over and over to keep you safe. My dad says that once someone enters my life, that's it. No returns. An you, Draco- hell, you're already my best friend. And if I can help it, nothing is ever going to hurt you again.”
Draco could feel his eyes welling up with tears, yet again. He had been crying a lot today, and couldn’t help but feel people might think he was acting a bit babyish. He scrubbed furiously at his eyes, and stood up.
“Thank you, Harry. You have no idea how much this means to me,” he said as he walked into the room, and sank into the bed. He heard the click of the door closing, and he was alone with his thoughts.
Notes:
Thanks for reading!
Quick thing- If I ever use the word grand as an answer to how are you, that's just a thing where I live. It means 'okay' or 'not bad'. Like,
"How are you?"
"Oh, I'm grand."
Doesn't mean that someone is feeling fancy and extravagent, it means they're okay. Same goes for fine, I know that this can confuse some people but it's just the way people in my locality speak.
Chapter 8: Meet the family!
Summary:
Draco fails to sleep and meets the Tonks family.
Notes:
Hello fellow humans! (I assume please don't take offense if you aren't human?)I have returned from the icy clutches of death *cough cough writers block* and I have a new, irritatingly long chapter for you! ~yay~ And I finally got glasses, so I can read as I type without having the font at like... twenty.
Few things - I decided that Draco sleeps with a teddy because it's cute and I want to draw that! I also sometimes sleep with a cuddly toy, so yk... Heh heh. Also, two year olds aren't creative, so the fox toy is called foxy.
First time Nymphadora shows up! I love her, she is my hero, she will be a significant-ish character because I like writing her.
More tears! I like making people cry (in fanfiction), idk why but eh. So, everyone's a crybaby!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Draco dear, would you prefer pancakes or eggs?” Andromeda asked as she herded a half-asleep Draco onto a chair at the kitchen table. He sat down heavily, blinking blearily.
“Draco?” Andromeda prodded, “Pancakes or eggs?”
“Pancakes, please,” Draco yawned, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He glanced at the grandfather’s clock in the corner of the room, which read 6:30! Why on Earth was Draco awake at six thirty?
“Why am I awake so early?” he grumbled, sounding quite irritable. He felt a bit guilty for complaining, Andromeda had taken him in after all, but it was just so early. He hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, because he was missing his stupid stuffed animal that he couldn’t fucking sleep without, and yesterday had been so busy. In all honesty, the only thing Draco wanted to do was curl up in a dark, quiet room with a bar of chocolate and a familiar book, and avoid the entirety of humanity for at least forty-eight hours. But it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen, because-
“Severus and Harry are coming over at ten past seven, Severus and I have some things to discuss. You know, obtaining your school books, your snake. Speaking of which, is there anything you need from home? We’ll grab the essentials, but if there’s anything important we can pick that up too,” Andromeda offered. The only thing Draco actually wanted from home was the fox toy he kept hidden under his covers, and he wasn’t about to tell her that he needed it to sleep. He didn’t want her to know how pathetic he was.
“Okay! Well, Harry’s coming too, so you can chat! That’ll be nice, won’t it?” Draco forced a smile on his face and nodded, thanking Andromeda as she served him up a plate of pancakes. Draco didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, but he had to be polite and do as he was told. Otherwise Andromeda and Ted would realise that there was something wrong with him and kick him out, and then he would have nowhere to go.
Time to put on the Malfoy Mask™, be calm, sociable and agreeable, show only good emotions, pretend to be 100%
a-okay.
~~~~~~~~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry fell out of Andromeda’s fireplace, choking on ash and soot. He had never gotten a hold of the Floo, but at least his glasses didn’t break this time. Severus had tried charming them to make them stronger, but for some reason they still often cracked when he fell. Harry picked himself up and brushed off his robes, looking around Andromeda’s sitting room. Draco wasn’t there, but there were two men in Auror’s uniforms as well as Ted and Andromeda.
“Oh, Harry! Draco’s upstairs, if you want to go up to him,” Andromeda told him. Harry thanked her and left to find Draco glancing behind him at the grim-looking Aurors. They didn’t look very happy, Harry thought, but that didn’t really matter because Harry was right outside Draco’s door now. He raised his fist and knocked briskly, recieving a weak come in . He entered the room to see Draco sitting on the edge of his bed, looking exhausted. Harry tentatively sat down next to him, taking in the bags under his eyes, tired expression and general air of despondance.
“ Hey, ” Harry said in a quiet voice, not wanting to speak too loudly. He got a non-comittal grunt in response. Harry didn’t know Draco that well yet, but he definately knew that this was very out of character for him. Harry had expected him to be worn out, but this was more extreme than he had expected. Draco looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, and that coupled with the fact that he had ran away just yesterday was enough to concern Harry a great deal.
“Is there anything you want me to do? We could talk, sit in silence... or I – I could leave? If you want me to...” Harry said meekly, twiddling his thumbs and staring straight ahead. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Draco shake his head wearily and flop back onto the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes. He didn’t speak, but he didn’t seem to want Harry to leave, so Harry just lay down next to him on the bed and stared at the ceiling, the silence between them absolute and yet somehow quite comfortable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco’s POV
Draco lay in his bed next to Harry, arm still over his eyes, and said absolutely nothing. He had failed miserably at putting up the Malfoy Mask™, and worried that Harry would be frustrated with the silence, demand answers to questions Draco had no answer to, and eventually give up, leave in anger and never talk to Draco again. Instead, Harry had simply allowed the silence to envelop the room. It was peaceful and comfortable, no expectations. Draco was endlessly grateful he wasn’t being forced to converse, because he didn’t think he could manage that right now.
This was exactly what he needed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry’s POV
The next few weeks were simultaniously wonderful and awful. Harry spent a lot of time at the Tonks’ house, and he really enjoyed hanging out with Draco. However, Draco was getting increasingly tired. Harry could see that he was barely sleeping, but whenever he brought it up Draco said that htere was nothing to worry about and that it would pass eventually. Harry wasn’t convinced, and after the fifth time he walked face first into a doorway, Harry managed to coax the problem out of him. Several problems, in fact.
“I can’t – quiet my thoughts when it’s night time. It keeps me up all night, worrying and spiralling, and the only thing that has ever helped me sleep is a fucking cuddly toy, and that’s at the manor, and father’s probably burned him by now, and it’s fucking pathetic that I can’t sleep without a fucking teddy bear! ” Draco said all in a rush, his voice getting progressively louder. This was the most Harry had ever heard him curse, and now he was crying. Harry tentatively took a step towards him, offering a hug. Draco threw himself into Harry’s arms, wailing.
“ I’m so f-fucking t-t-tired! ” He sobbed, fisting his hands in Haryr’s shirt. Harry wasn’t entirely sure how to react to this, but he did manouver them both through the door into the thankfully empty sitting room and pried himself off Draco long enough to sit him down on the couch.
“I can ask Andromeda or my dad to get the teddy? They wouldn’t mind, they just want you to be happy-” Draco cut him off by shaking his head.
“I d-don’t want them to know h-how pathetic I a-am!” He insisted. Harry could tell he wasn’t going to budge on this right now.
“I’m sure they wouldn’t think you weak, but I’m not going to tell them if you don’t want me too. You know, I have a cuddly bear from when I was younger. I still sleep with him during storms because I’m terrified of thunder. Sometimes I would go into my dad, but I stopped because he doesn’t like being woken up in the middle of the night. He doesn’t say it, but it annoys him, so I basically curl up with the teddy bear and hide from the storm! It’s a dog, so me being a two year old named it Doggy. Does your toy have a name? ” Harry asked. Draco didn’t answer. Undeterred, Harry kept blathering on about everything and nothing in the hopes that he could get Draco to calm down enough to sleep. Sure enough he was conked out within five minutes, curled up and snoring softly into Harry’s side.
Harry smiled at his sleeping form, perfectly content just to sit there.
Even if his arm was going dead.
********
From then on, at least fifty percent of the time Harry spent at Andromeda’s house was talking to Draco until he slept. Harry figured that Andromeda or Ted could probably talk to Draco until he slept too, but Draco didn’t seem to want to ask Andromeda or Ted for anything. Harry figured that was something for them to work through on their own though, so he just helped Draco where he could.
“You shouldn’t just let me sleep,” Draco said one day after he woke up from sleeping for at least three hours, curled up in an armchair as Harry read out loud from The Lord Of The Rings, a muggle book that Ted had recommended. Harry found it to be quite slow going at first, but now he was thoroughly enjoying it. He suspected that there was something going on between the protagonist and his best friend, but nothing definite so far.
“You don’t come here to watch me sleep, you should just wake me up,” Draco went on. Harry closed the book, marking the page with a scrap of parchment.
“You clearly need the sleep, so I don’t mind. If I was at home, I would probably be reading too, so this means I can help you sleep while I’m at it.” Draco looked like he was going to argue, but Harry wasn’t having it. “I honestly don’t mind. If you aren’t going to let anyone else help, let me. You aren’t invincible, and they won’t think you weak for needing help or sleeping with a cuddly toy. I’m one hundred percent sure that I’ve seen stuffed animals in Ted and Andromeda’s bed, and they don’t belond to Dora.”
Draco bit his lip and shook his head, clearly not budging on his ‘show no weakness never ask for help rule’. Harry was only grateful that Draco didn’t seem to be as hesitant to let Harry in.
“Have you me t Dora yet? ”
“ No. She’s coming for dinner later though. ” Draco hesitated, then said in a much smaller voice- “What if she hates me?” He looked so small, and scared. Harry wanted to hug him, wrap him up and keep him safe from anything that might hurt him.
“She isn’t going to hate you. Dora loves almost everyone. She’ll make fun of you, but she doesn’t mean anything by it. She’s also like, really sarcastic, but she doesn’t mean half of what she says,” Harry reassured him, but Draco was biting his lip, and his knee leg was jittering.
“I – never understand sarcasm. I can barely ever tell if someone’s insulting me or just messing around, ” he worried. Harry didn’t know how to help with this. Draco looked around shiftily, clearly wanting to say something else. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Harry didn’t say anything, wanting to let him speak. But after at least half a minute of Draco saying nothing, Harry spoke up.
“What is it?” Draco blinked, surprised, but he did speak this time.
“Can you- stay for dinner?” He asked quietly, then continued on quickly, “I mean- if Andromeda says that it’s okay- and only if you want to- ugh, I shouldn’t have asked, why am I so-”
“Draco, It’s fine! OF course I’ll stay, if you want me to. I’ll go ask Andromeda now, okay?” Draco didn’t say anything, wearing a shocked expression. He clearly hadn’t expected Harry to actually stay. Harry set out to locate Andromeda. She was in the kitchen, chatting with Ted as he cooked some th ing that looked absolutely delicious.
“Hi Andromeda, Ted.” Harry greeted them. They both turned towards him with wide, welcoming smiles. Harry had spent so much time here since he was a baby, it was like a second home, warm and inviting. Harry was glad that Draco got to experience the way they gave out love.
And Ted’s cooking was incredible.
“Hello Harry, it’s so nice to see you back so soon! Is there something you needed?” Ted asked, his deep, warm voice as familiar to Harry as his own father’s.
“Well, I was wondering if I could stay for dinner? I know Dora’s coming over, but Draco’s nervous to see her so...” Harry trailed off, not wanting to say too much lest he embarass Draco.
“Oh, of course! Dora would love to see you, it’s been awhile! Auror training is taking up all her time, and she has three more years of this?” Harry agreed with her, but he knew that Dora wanted to be an Auror so much that she probably didn’t even mind all the work.
“Thank you so much! I would love to see her too. Can you tell Dad?”
Andromeda told him yes, of course she would tell Severus, and then she shooed him off to rejoin Draco. Harry thanked her one last time and left the kitchen again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Draco
Draco was grateful that Harry was staying with him for the dinner, terrified for the dinner, and embarrased that he was acting so hapless all at once. Harry said it was no big deal, but Draco couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being a burden. He was suposed to ask for nothing, need nothing, and deal with his problems in silence.
He knew that this mindset was his parents talking, but he couldn’t exactly just tell his mind to shut up. If he could he certainly would be able to sleep without Harry talking at him.
Antother thing he was embarrassed about.
Harry was being so nice, and putting up with so much, but Draco still couldn’t figure out why he was bothering. Well he knew why, but he also didn’t know why. That made no sense- he knew that Harry was helping and being so kind because he cared, but Draco didn’t know why Harry cared. Draco hadn’t done anything for thim, and Harry was still giving him so much.
Maybe it was just that Draco hadn’t had someone to look out for him like this before. Maybe that was why he didn’t understand.
“Draco, Dora’s here! Come downstairs, we’re about to put dinner on the table!” Andromeda called, and the coil of nerves in his stomach resumed twisting with a new vigor. Draco sat on his bed stiffly, willing himself to just get up. Harry was halfway to the door by the time he realised that Draco wasn’t following him, and walked back with a concerned look.
“You okay?” He asked tentatively, holding out a hand. Draco hesitated, but took it, letting Harry haul him up and pull him out of the room.
“It’s going to be fine, I’m telling you! Dora’ll love you. You can leave at any time, too, nobody will care if you need a break. Everyone here just wants you to be comfortable, Draco,” Harry insisted. Draco said nothing, but Harry’s words made his chest warm. Maybe he could get used to people caring about him.
“Thank you, ” he whispered just before they entered the kitchen. Harry squeezed his hand, smiling reassuringly.
“No problem. Now, let’s go, and you tell me if you want to take a break. It’s absolutely no bother, so don’t think you’re being a burden, kay?” Draco smiled and nodded, but there was absolutely no way he was going to take Harry up on that offer. He needed to leave a good impression. Harry probably knew what was going through his head, scarily observant as he was, but he beamed and pushed open the kitchen door, unleashing the chaos within.
Andromeda was the only person sitting down. That was the first thing Draco noticed. Second thing was that Ted was bustling about, serving up dinner. And the final thing that Draco noticesd was the woman he assumed to be his cousin Nymphadora. Draco stared at her, and she stared right back. Instead of looking at her eyes, Draco took in her slightly snub nose, tall stature and perhaps most striking, her bubble-pink hair. She was surveying Draco warily, looking like she didn’t trust him in the least.
“Is this Draco then?” She asked, narrowing her eyes and trying to force eye contact. Draco looked to Harry instead, a flush colouring his cheeks when he realised that he was still clinging to his hand.
He didn’t let go.
“Yes, that’s Draco. Come dear, sit,” Andromeda all but ordered, and Draco sat in his usual chair. Harry claimed the seat next to him, and Dora sat across from him.
“Well, well, Draco Malfoy, as I live and breathe. I hope you haven’t been a prick to my parents here, considering your father’s blood-supremecist views,” she said suspicously. Draco flinched and curled in on himself at the unwelcome reminder of his parentagea. He noticed Harry scowling at Dora.
“Dora! Don’t be so insensitive!” Andromeda admonished, and Dora rolled her eyes.
“I’m only messing, I know you wouldn’t be singing his praises so much. If he was a dickhead. ‘so polite, never asks for a thing the dear.’ Mum thinks you’re an angel, I swear,” She winked conspiritorially. Draco got the feeling that he wasn’t going to be able to understand half of the things she went on about. He really didn’t get sarcasm.
“That isn’t a funny joke...” Harry grumbled, quiet enough that only Draco could hear him. He was absolutely glowering, and the anger on his usually happy face was jarring, to say the least. Draco figured that he should probably introduce himself, so he opened his mouth to speak but Dora beat him to it.
“I’m Nymphadora Tonks, but if you call me Nymphadora I will kill you. Since your family you can call me Dora! It’s nice to meet you, Draco,” she held out a hand to shake and Draco hesitantly took it, letting go almost immediately.
“I’m Draco Malfoy, nice to meet you.” He said, putting on his Malfoy Mask™. He straightened his posture and made eye contact, smiling cooly and forcing the shake out of his voice.
“Awfully posh, aren’t ya? Ah well, so is Mum. Your hair is cool, I like the colour!” Dora said, and promptly Draco was looking at someone entirely different. She had changed her face and hair, giving herself aristocratic features and blonde locks.
Draco made a strangled noise, halfway between a squeak and a whimper. Though she was decidedly not his mother, she looked exactly like a younger version of Narcissa Black-Malfoy. Andromeda noticed it too, given her sharp inhale. Draco stared at Dora , and tried to tell himself that his wasn’t his mother, and that he was safe, at the Tonk’s house. But a ll he could see was the woman who he should have been able to trust, but hadn’t been able to since he was barely a toddler. Far too young to know his mother didn’t care.
Far too young to have experienced the pain of a cane striking against flesh.
Far too young to know that he would never be enough.
Far too young to be a disappointment.
Draco stood up abruptly and exited the room, barely holding back tears. He heard people calling after him, but he ignored them and practically ran to his room, in where he collapsed on the bed and curled in on himself.
The tears came then, hot and wet, because he had l eft his mother , and though he knew that she didn’t care about him as she should have, he also knew tha t she had raised him. She h ad patched up the wounds that she had allowed to be inflicted, but at least she hadn’t left him to bleed out on the ground.
Sure she had locked him in the shed every now and again.
Sure she had loved Lucius.
She was still his mother.
Draco squeezed his eyes shut and recalled the memory of his mother, the one and only time she had shown love to him, really.
The memory of her tenderness and loving smile as she handed him a stuffed animal, a fox. She gave it a kiss, Draco remembered.
For when you feel alone.
Now both she and the fox were back a t the manor.
Narcissa hated him now, Draco was sure.
If only your mother could see you know.
~ ~~~~~~~
Harry's POV
Harry hovered outside Draco’s door, unsure whether to enter or not. He didn’t know if Draco would want to be alone or not, but he still wanted to check in on him. Should he knock? Leave? Just then, Harry heard a choked sob from behind the door. It sounded so anguished, that alone was enough. He pushed open the door and rushed over to where Draco lay on the bed, crying, and pulled him into his arms. Draco was stiff as a board at first, but he relaxed into Harry when he realised who it was.
An inexplicable warmth flooded Harry’s chest when he realis ed Draco trusted him this much.
“You’re okay Draco, It wasn’t her. She can’t hurt you anymore, I won’t let her,” Harry whispered. He and Draco both knew that if Narcissa or Lucius crossed paths with them, there would be nothing Harry could do about it, but right now the soothing promises were what Draco needed.
“I knew it-it w-wasn’t her, b-but- I f-f-fucking m-miss her! Does t-that make me a h-horrible p-person?” He gasped between sobs, and it hurt to see him like this. Harry adjusted Draco in his arms and ran a hand through his hair.
“You aren’t a horrible person. Of course you miss your mother, she raised you, however horribly. We can’t help who we love, and it is never a bad thing to love someone. It’s going to hurt, it may feel like you will hurt forever, but it gets better. I haven’t been through what you’re going through, but even I know that this pain won’t last forever. It’s all going to be okay, ” t his only served to make Draco cry harder, hands fisting in Harry’s shirt which was now thoroughly covered in tears.
“I’m not s-strong like you, Harry,” Draco whispered, “I’m a coward,”
Harry’s heart broke in two. Here was this wonderful boy, this truly wonderful person, crying and wailing in self-hatred about something completely out of his control.
“Draco, you are strong. You survived in that house for eleven long years. You had the cruciatus curse used on you. Most people aren’t as strong as you. It took a lot of courage for you to tell Severus and I what you went through, loads of people would have lied because it’s easier. You went through all that pain, left your home and your parents. Of course you miss them, you’re only eleven years old. So don’t go calling yourself a coward Draco Malfoy, or you’ll have me to answer to! ”
That brought a chuckle out of Draco, who sat back to look up at Harry. They didn’t make eye contact, but they didn’t have to because Draco’s lips were quirking up at the sides, and despite the tear tracks and general dissaray, he looked radiant.
“Thank you Harry.” Draco glanced down at Harry’s shirt and winced at the state of it. “Sorry about your shirt-” His face flushed, and it was entirely adorable. Thats a normal thing to think about your friends, right?
“Eh, it’s fine. I like my shirt soggy,” Harry joked,winking flirtatiosly. What am I doing what am I doing what am I doing-
“Here, you can have one of mine,” said Draco. Was it just Harry, or did he look flushed as he rifled through his clothes? Harry gratefully accepted the clothing and quickly changed. Draco looked away before he took his shirt off, and there was definitely a blush painting his porclain skin.
Knock, knock.
“Are you okay Draco love?” Andromeda’s voice came through the door. Draco straightened his posture immediately and went to open the door.
“Sorry Andromeda-” He started to say, and Harry was just about to tell him not to apologise when Andromeda beat him to it.
“No apologies, I just wanted to check on you,” She said, “Come on down when you’re ready, okay? I talked to Dora, she won’t do that again,” She reassured, and left. Draco turned back to Harry with a tired expression. The blush had faded, but he still looked incredibly pretty. Pretty, pretty, pretty. What was he thinking?
“Lets go, I suppose,” He sighed, and started out the door. Harry leapt up to follow him, wishing that they could just stay in the room, in the quiet. It would be easier, for Draco. But, he wanted to do this, and Harry would stay with him. Besides, Ted’s cooking was delicious.
Notes:
We aren't angry at Nymphadora, she didn't know that she would trigger Draco. Also, did anyone spot the *squint and you can see it* Conan Grey reference?
Sorry about any grammar or spelling mistakes! Constructive criticism is welcome, just please be nice <3
Chapter 9: Gossip
Notes:
Hello! I'm awful at editing so this probably has a bunch of typos, but I hope you like it :)
Edit: I changed some tiny things so later makes sense (smaller number of rules in Severus' lab safety lecture)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco’s POV
The rest of the dinner went by without anything of note happening. Dora apologised for upsetting Draco, and then went on to tell a long winded story about something that had happened at Auror training. Draco was only half listening, nodding and making general noised of agreement when he was asked things. Harry joined in on the conversation wholeheartedly, smiling and laughing. He looked at home there and it made Draco wonder how long Harry spent with the Tonks before Draco got there. Years, by the looks of it. Would Draco ever be like that? So effortlessly happy and at home? How long would it take before he stopped feeling out of place?
“You okay?” Harry whispered in Draco’s ear, catching him completely off guard. He jerked and yelped, bringing a hand up to him mouth.
“Merlin Harry, a little warning next time!?” Draco scolded. Harry chuckled apprehensively.
“Sorry. Seriously though, are you okay? You look whacked,” Draco shrugged. Everyone was finished eating now, so Draco could no longer use the ‘got food in my mouth can’t talk right now’ excuse. He wanted to go to his room, drag Harry with him and sleep. It was selfish, it wasn’t fair on Harry and it made Draco feel like a horrible person, but he was just so tired.
“Do you wanna go upstairs?” Harry asked. Draco blinked. Was Harry really that good at reading him? Harry took his shocked silence as a yes, pulling Draco up by his hand and leading him out of the room.
“Thanks for dinner, it was delicious, nice to see you Dora, thanks for the tips on getting round the castle Kay thanks bye!” Harry said all in one breath. Draco just allowed himself to be pulled along, staying completely silent. Harry dragged him into his room.
“You good?” Harry asked, having dropped Draco’s hand and was now looking around his bookshelf. Draco didn’t answer, just lying down on his bed and curling up. Harry shot him a concerned glance, walking over to the bed and crouching down to Draco’s eye level.
“I’m going to take that as a no?” Draco didn’t reply. He didn’t think he could answer. He wanted to be left alone, but he didn’t want to be alone. Harry seemed to think for a little, before nodding resolutely to himself.
“Okay, I’m gonna go and get my book. You get into your pyjamas, I can see that you’re dead tired.”
Draco was about to protest, say that he was fine and that Harry should do something he enjoyed, but Harry had already left. Draco wearily dragged himself up and put his pyjamas on, and lay back down with a thwump. He really was tired, and though it was far too early to try and sleep he didn’t think he could manage much else anyway.
“Okay, got the book!” Harry announced as he flopped down on the bed next to Draco, shaking the entire bed. Draco made a half-hearted sound of protest, burying his face into his pillow. Harry shifted around a little and opened his book. Draco raised his head to protest, but Harry whacked him on the head with the book. Not very hard, but Draco’s pride was certainly bruised.
“Hey!”
“Sorry, not sorry. I want to read this book, I’m not stealing it from Ted, so shut up and let me read,” Harry instructed in his ‘I’m not dealing with this bullshit’ voice. Draco sighed dramatically but shut up, letting Harry fill the quiet with his soft, soothing voice.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry finished one chapter, and was halfway through another before he felt his own eyelids getting heavy. Draco was already asleep, so Harry closed the book and lay back. He turned over onto his side and stared at Draco. He looked so peaceful in sleep, his silky hair falling over his closed eyes. He was breathing slowly and deeply, his mouth slightly open.
Pretty, pretty, pretty.
Harry abruptly shut his eyes. It’s creepy to watch your friends when they’re sleeping! His mind was being strange about this, and he didn’t like it. Harry forced himself to think about other things. He found himself recalling his father’s most recent lecture about lab safety. It was so dreadfully dull that Harry found himself dozing off before mind-Severus even got to rule #32 out of #89.
~~~
Andromeda’s POV
“Why’d they leave so suddenly?” Dora asked, after Harry and Draco had left the room. Her bubblegum-pink eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.
“Probably just tired. Draco’s no social butterfly, and he never sleeps well either. He always brushes it off id we ask about it,” Andromeda shrugged. Draco was hard to get through. He seemed to have a fear of burdening other people with his problems, something that Andromeda would have to ask about at some point.
“Those two are awfully close, aren’t they?” Dora commented, wearing a mischievous expression. “They held hands through half of dinner, you know. I’d bet a million galleons that they’re gonna date,” Ted coughed loudly, clearly covering up laughter.
“Well, they’ve been like that the whole time really... sometimes I’ll walk into a room and see Harry reading aloud or something with Draco curled up at his side, sleeping. I don’t think he sleeps at nighttime, but he sleeps a lot of the time Harry his here,” Andromeda was basically thinking aloud. Dora could well be right...
“Really? Oh, this is too good. Looks like it runs in the family, huh? Makes sense that my baby cousin would take after say... half of the Black family?”
Andromeda rolled her eyes. There Dora was, making assumptions. In fairness, the evidence was all there, and it was true that half of the Black family had been queer. Sirius, Alphard, Regulus...
“Even if they do end up together, I don’t think it’ll happen for a while. They have a lot going on, and I get the impression that they’ll both deny any feelings that might be there until something drastic happens,” Ted piped up. Andromeda couldn’t help but agree. She had know Harry since he was a baby.
She had seen him coming back from some summer camp, ranting and raving about some boy he had met, completely oblivious to the feelings he clearly harbored for whatever-his-name-was. She had heard him describe the the boy’s eyes, hair, lips and even (weirdly) his hands. And yet when Dora had casually asked if he may have a teensy-weensy crush on him, Harry had shook his head and refused to talk about the whole thing ever again.
Andromeda had also seen him staring at handsome strangers before quickly looking away with a blush on his cheeks. If Harry had a special talent, it was denial.
“I agree. We don’t actually know if Draco is queer anyway, so we should leave it well alone. Right, Dora?” Dora rolled her eyes at her mother, but agreed nonetheless. Andromeda nodded in satisfaction just as the floo flared up and Severus stepped into the living room.
“Hey Sev, whassup?” Dora asked. Severus scowled at the nickname that Dora had come up with when she was about twelve, and had used it since just because it annoyed Severus.
“Well, Nymphadora, I’m here to collect Harry,” Dora pouted at the use of her full name. Andromeda stifled a laugh at the childish squabble. Nymphadora may be almost twenty and Severus in his mid-forties, but they argued like children. It was hilarious to watch. Severus had been something of an uncle to Dora ever since he adopted Harry, and you could see how close they had become. Severus and Harry were part of the Tonks family.
“Harry’s with Draco, I’ll go and fetch him,” Andromeda told Severus. She got up from the table and left the room. She approached Draco’s room and knocked on the door. She received no reply. Cautiously, Andromeda pushed the door open to be greeted with the frankly adorable sight of both Harry and Draco asleep on the bed, facing each other. Andromeda smiled to herself and quietly closed the door again. She didn’t want to wake the two of them up and disturb this cuteness.
***
“They’re sleeping?” Severus exclaimed exasperatedly. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course they are. Well, I’m not going to wake them up. Would you mind terribly if Harry stayed the night?”
“Of course he can stay!” Andromeda smiled warmly, “We always love to have him, the dear. You too, if you want. The guest room is free!” Severus politely turned down her offer, and left with the promise to pick Harry up in the morning. Once he left, Ted and Dora burst into raucous laughter.
“They fell asleep!? In Draco’s bed? Together!?!” Dora asked, a gleam in her eyes. Andromeda chuckled and nodded. She looked like the cat that got the cream.
“They’re so sweet!” Ted chuckled. Andromeda agreed. The two boys had looked so at peace curled up together. Andromeda was glad that Draco had found someone to fine solace in. She was even more delighted it was Harry. She knew that Harry would protect Draco when they went to school. Nothing could get between Harry and those he cared about.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry woke up in Draco’s bed. At first he was disoriented, because he didn’t know what time it was. He glanced at the alarm clock on Draco’s bedside and saw that it was seven. At night? No, he felt far too rested for that. Seven in the morning then. But why was he in Draco’s bed?
Harry thought back to the previous night. He must have fallen asleep after Draco did. Andromeda would have seen them sleeping and let him stay the night. Harry stifled a laugh when he imagined the expression on his dad’s face when he heard they were asleep. Harry glanced over at Draco, who was still sleeping soundly.
This is the longest he’s slept since he got here.
Harry smiled at Draco’s sleeping form. He didn’t want to rouse him as Draco needed the rest, so Harry stayed silent and still until Draco woke up a little while later.
Draco yawned and sat up. He blinked blearily and looked around, almost leaping out of his skin when he spotted Harry.
“Harry!? What time is it?” he looked completely baffled. It was adorable FUNNY.
“Seven in the morning,” Harry told him, smiling when Draco blinked as if he hadn’t heard him right.
“I really slept for that long?”
“Yep,” Harry said, popping the ‘p’.
“And you...” Draco trailed off, raising an eyebrow.
“I fell asleep a little while after you did. I guess Andromeda and Dad didn’t want to wake us up,” Harry explained. Draco looked confused still, but he swung his legs out of bed and stretched. Was Harry imagining it, or was there a blush on his cheeks?
“D-do you want to co-come down for breakfast then?” Draco asked, stuttering slightly. Harry grinned. He didn’t know why Draco seemed so flustered, but Harry found it strangely endearing.
“Of course!” Harry smiled and followed Draco downstairs.
Needless to say, that wasn’t their last sleepover.
Notes:
Literally everyone who knows Harry and Draco: I ship it
Harry: Thinking that your best friend is attractive and fantasising about kissing them is totally platonic, right?
Draco: *snores*
Chapter 10: The Hogwarts Express
Notes:
Hello! Sorry for the delay on posting this. I didn't feel like editing.
...speaking of editing, I don't think I did enough of it here. There are a lot of awkward sentences, so I apologise in advance.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
1st of September
Draco’s POV
The puff of steam, the roar of an engine, the chatter of hundreds of parents seeing off their children was pounding in Draco’s ears. The press of the crowd, surrounding Draco at all sides and stealing his air. He tried to keep composed, but everything was too much- Saturn hissed from inside his travel box, but Draco couldn’t make out what he was saying. Someone squeezed his shoulder, and he turned his head to see that Andromeda was talking to him. Draco tried to tune in to what she was saying, but could only pick up a few words.
“Stay safe...have a good year...come home for Christmas.” that last bit made Draco’s chest feel tight, and he nodded eagerly. Over the past few weeks, he had really come to appreciate how much Andromeda and Ted did for him, and admittedly had come to care about them a lot. Was this what family was supposed to be like? If so, Draco rather thought he liked it. He still had worries about being a burden, but he loved the feeling of being cared for. He was trying to be optimistic, and so far it was working.
“I will!” He shouted over the din of noise, fighting the urge to curl up and scream his throat raw, “Thank you so much Andromeda, Ted. You’ve done so much for me.” Andromeda waved a hand and Ted smiled warmly. A sharp, shrill, ear-piercing whistle cut through Draco’s ears, giving him a headache and alerting him he had to get on the train. With one last wave goodbye to his aunt and uncle, Draco rushed onto the train in search of a compartment and, hopefully, Harry.
~~~
Harry’s POV
“Draco!” Harry shouted, catching sight of a white-blonde head of hair in the crowded carriage. Harry made his way over to his best friend, trying not to knock Rainbow around too much. When Harry reached where Draco was standing, though, he noticed something was off. Draco was staring into the distance, and he didn’t react at all to Harry calling his name.
He just stared ahead and breathed far too quickly. Harry, worried, waved a hand in front of his eyes. Draco’s head snapped up, and he suddenly looked very panicked and frightened. Okay, something was definitaly wrong.
“Draco? What happened, are you okay?” Draco didn’t seem to hear Harry, but he was now shaking slightly. Harry decided that he wasn’t going to be able to figure out what was up in this cramped, loud, crowded carriage, so he took his trunk and Rainbow’s travel box in one hand, and pulled Draco by the forearm with the other, leading him to an empty compartment.
Once in the compartment, Harry stowed away his trunk, and when Draco didn’t move from where Harry had left him, he put away Draco’s too, and put both Rainbow and Saturn’s travel boxes on a spare chair. Then, when Draco still didn’t move, Harry cautiously approached him, taking him by the shoulders and manouvering him to sit down. Harry shut the compartment door, blocking out the noise from the rest of the train, and noticed that Draco visibly relaxed. Harry, sen s eing that Draco wouldn’t want to talk for at least a little while, sat down next to Draco and waited.
~~~
Draco’s POV
Draco slowly regained control over his breathing, focusing on taking deep breaths in and out. Now he was finally somewhere quiet, he had space to calm down and process what had been going on. Draco made a list, in his head, of the things he knew for a fact were true.
1. He was on the train to Hogwarts.
2. The train and platform had both been very loud
3. Loud things make Draco upset
4. Large crowds made him upset too
5. He was in a compartment
6. Harry had brought him to said compartment when he found Draco breaking down
7. He wanted foxy, a childish wish but there all the same
Draco took one last deep breath, before he decided it would be rude not to talk to Harry at all. Even though he was embarrased about how Harry had found him, he knew he had to aknowlege it and since this certainly wasn’t going to be the last time this happened, perhaps he should explain the little he knew to Harry.
“Thank you,” Draco whispered, unable to make his voice louder but not really wanting to anyway. He looked at Harry, and forced himself to meet his emerald eyes, despite the discomfort it caused him.
“It’s nothing! Not like I was going to leave you like that, though if you don’t mind me asking...” Harry looked away shiftily, then looked back. “What was wrong? You looked scared, and it happened before, at Diagon Alley, but it was a bit different then.” Draco had know that he would have to answer this question, but he didn’t know how to put the problem into words He knew he wasn’t like other people, that there was something different about the way his brain worked, only thing was he didn’t really know what was different. So Draco did his best to describe it, though he was extremely awkward while he did it.
“I’m- not like other people. I think different, feel different, and act different, unless I’m conciously trying to seem... normal, I guess. Loud noises, crowded spaces, scratchy clothing and eye contact all make me feel wrong. I don’t really know how to explain it properly, but I’ll give it a try. When I’m in a loud, busy place, or if something big happens -or sometimes its like a buildup of tiny little problems all blown out of proportion to seem worse- my brain... short circuits, I guess. It all gets to be too much, and I cry, or scream, or curl up into a ball, or hide in a cramped space. If I’m in a public area, sometimes I run away or shut down like earlier. Sometimes I end up laughing, and crying at the same time, and I can’t stop either. It’s weird, and I don’t know why it happens, it just does. There isn’t really anything I can do to stop it other than avoid the things that stress me. At least, nothing that I know about,” Draco finishes, endlessly glad that Harry had let him talk uninterrupted. He didn’t think that had been a very good description, but he couldn’t really come up with anything better so it would have to do.
“Okay.” said Harry simply, looking down and swinging his legs widely. Draco blinked dumbfoundedly. He had expected mocking, disgust, laughter, rejection. Not- quiet acceptance.
“Just- ‘Okay’? no- questions, no insults?” Harry shrugged.
“I mean sure, I have a few questions, for when you’re ready to answer them, but yea. Okay. It doesn’t really change anything, it just means you’re different. But different isn’t always bad! Take me, for example. I can’t sit still, can’t pay attention to things that bore me, and sometimes I talk so quickly nobody else can understand me. That’s not normal. But it isn’t bad either, and neither is the fact that you don’t like loud noises or busy crowds.”
Draco sniffled, and blinked back tears. When he had tried to explain this to his parents, his mother had called him a stupid little child and his father had hit him so hard he bled. Now here was Harry, a boy he had known for only a month, who was accepting this like it was no big deal.
“Th-thank you,” Draco stuttered, and rubbed at his eyes. “If there’s anything you want to ask me, fire ahead and I’ll answer best I can.”
“Okay then! If you hate eye contact so much, why do you keep making it?” Draco scoffed at the simple question, with such an obvious answer too!
“Harry, it’s extremely rude not to look at someone when you’re speaking to them. People will think you aren’t paying attention to what you’re saying, and they’ll be offended.” Harry’s mouth opened in an O, and a look of realisation dawned on his face.
“Is that why so many people tell me to look at them when they’re talking to me? I thought they were just weird!” Draco sighed at his friend’s social skills, and waved a hand to indicate Harry could ask the next question.
“Is there anything else that bothers you other than eye contact, scratchy clothes, loud noises and crowds?” Draco held a hand in front of himself and began to count on his fingers.
“I don’t like food touching on my plate, I hate strong smells, people often misread my facial expressions as angry because I do them wrong, and I have a shorter social battery than most people. There are loads of other things, but I can’t really remember right now.” Draco finished. Harry stared at him, a curious expression on his face.
“How do you know what a battery is?”
Really? That was his question?
“Ted.” Draco told him simply. Harry nodded approvingly and was quiet for awhile. Then he asked one final question;
“Is there anything I can do to help you when you’re upset?”
Draco was touched by Harry’s clear want to make him happy and comfortable, and a little bit surprised at it too. People before had always just left him be, or told him to suck it up. For once, there was someone who was actively asking how to make him happy and comfortable.
This was the kind of care Draco had always longed for.
It made sense that it was from Harry.
“You don’t have to do anything really, just try not to shout too much.”
“No I can help in other ways too! I’m going to keep asking until you tell me how to make things easier for you, and I’m really stubborn so you may as well get on with it!”
Draco felt a familiar tug of anxiety in his chest, the fear of being a burden trying to stop him saying anything. Harry seemed to sense what he was going to say, and said sternly-
“That’s not you being a burden! You would do the same for me, and I’m sure that you’ll end up helping me with plenty of problems in the future. So tell me what I can do to make you comfortable!” Draco sighed, and gave in.
“I guess just- don’t get offended when I don’t make eye contact with you and fidget a lot. What you did earlier, bringing me to a quiet space? That’s good too. But don’t feel obligated, really I’m fine-”
“Okay! Thank you for telling me how I can help. and I don’t feel obligated to do anything, I want to. So don’t feel like a burden and apologise, because that’s silly and you should stop.” Draco didn’t know how to respond to this- acceptance and support. How was he supposed to put to words how grateful he was? He couldn’t think of a way to say his thanks out loud. So, Draco scooted closer to Harry on the seat, and laid his head on Harry’s shoulder.
“Thank you,” he whispered once again, something squirming in his stomach at the close proximity. He decided to ignore it, pushing it to the back of his mind where he kept the rest of the things he doesn’t want to think about. He just stayed with his head on Harry’s shoulder, wringing his hands in his lap and letting his eyes fall closed.
* * * *
The compartment door slid open, and Draco rapidly sat up and put a bit of distance between him and Harry, lest whoever was about to enter the compartment get the wrong idea. Draco had enough going on in his life without rumours going around the whole school that he was gay. Not that there was anything wrong with it in Draco’s eyes, but he would rather not have slurs thrown at him whenever he walked through the halls.
H e was only eleven, but he had a feeling that his age wouldn’t stop other students from picking on him. If anything, they might mark him as an easy target.
“Have either of you seen Neville’s toad?” asked the busy-haired girl that was standing on the doorway, hands on hips. Draco shook his head, and saw Harry do the same.The boy behind the girl in the doorway sagged, looking extremely dejected.
“I’ll never find him!” He wailed, and Draco felt a pang of sympathy for him. The poor boy looked so upset! An idea crept up on Draco from the back of his mind. It was a terrible idea but... it might still work.
“Hang on a second, I have an idea,” Draco told the boy he had gathered to be Neville and the girl standing in front of him, standing up and walking over to Saturn’s travel box. Draco considered for a moment before opening the box and lifting out his snake. Neville and the girl gasped, and Harry snorted in laughter at their reactions.
“This boy has lost his toad. Can you smell him, and help find him? I’ll give you some chicken later.” Saturn hissed in affirmation, and flicked his tongue out, smelling the air. Draco turned to the others in the compartment, and saw Neville swaying on his feet, ghostly pale. The bushy-haired girl, however, was staring at him in wide eyed curiousity and amazement.
“Did you just talk to a snake!? I read about it in a book, but it said only really dark wizards can do it! That’s obviously not true, it’s a language, but it’s amazing you can speak it! What did you say?” She said in a rush, fizzing with excitement. Draco noticed her shaking her hands at her sides, and he wondered briefly if she was like him. Maybe he would ask her later.
“He asked Saturn if he would help find Neville’s toad,” Harry translated, and the girl snapped her attention over to him.
“You can speak it too!?” she exclaimed, and Harry nodded.
“I’m Harry, and this is Draco. What’s your name?” Harry asked.
“I’m Hermione Granger! Isn’t parseltongue really rare? How come you’re both able to talk to snakes if it’s so uncommon?” Draco tuned out of the conversation and focused on Saturn, who was still smelling the air.
“I ssssssensssse a toad in that direction. There is another, though it isssss further away.” Draco nodded, and squeezed out of the compartment, going in the direction Saturn was indicating. Thankfully the corridor was mostly empty now, so Draco wasn’t squashed by a crowd. He followed Saturn’s instruction until-
“sssssssssssstop! The toad issss there!” Draco stopped at a door to a compartment, and knocked on it before sliding the door open. Inside, sat three boys, one red-headed and the other two brown haired. They ceased conversation when they saw Draco, and the red head’s face twisted into an expression of disgust and contempt.
“What do you want, Malfoy?” Draco winced, not entirely surprised that the boy knew his family, but not really wanting the reminder.
“I’m looking for a toad. A boy called Neville lost his.” The readhead scowled.
“Why do you think it’s in here?” Draco held up his arm, where Saturn was twisting up the sleeve of his robes. Draco found it strangely comfortable, and wondered if he could just... wear Saturn.
W as that against the dress code? He doubted the code had a section on snakes, but he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers.
“WHAT THE FUCK? WE AREN’T ALLOWED SNAKES AT SCHOOL!” The readhead shouted, looking angry. Draco recoiled from his loud voice, wincing and taking a step backwards.
“I got permission from Professor Snape.” He said, trying to inject as much confidence into his tone as he could.
“Who the fuck is that? And why did he let the son of Lucius Malfoy bring a snake to school?” Draco suppressed a sigh, resigning himself to answering this boy’s close-minded questions.
“Professor Snape is the potions professor and the new Slytherin Head of house, and he let me bring a snake to school because he’s a grass snake, literally less dangerous than a cat! He’s not venomous, and he isn’t big enough to even constrict your ankle. Anyway, I can keep him in control.” Draco shrugged, and stroked the top of Saturn’s head. The redhead let out a noise of disgust, and Draco rolled his eyes.
“Look, can you please just look for the toad? He belongs to the boy-who-lived, if that’ll make you more likely to look.”
Draco scoffed when the two other boys in the compartment started frantically searching for the amphibian. The redhead, however, just kept glaring at Draco, arms crossed.
“My dad told me about your family. Your father is a Death Eater, and the only reason he’s not in Azkaban is that he has a lot of money and is a good-for-nothing lying coward! and the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, death eater scum.”
Draco squeezed his eyes shut, suppressing tears. Of course people wouldn’t see past his name. He shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up.
Idiot.
Stupid, stupid idiot.
Draco took a deep breath and held a hand out to shake, forcing himself to make eye contact with the boy.
“I believe we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Draco Malfoy. I’m a first year at Hogwarts, and I would thank you not to compare me to my father. We aren’t in contact anymore.” The readhead’s face stayed angry, and he didn’t shake Draco’s hand.
“Why? Was precious little Draco not fucking good enough for Lucius Malfoy?” Draco ignored the stab of pain the words sent through his chest, and smiled diplomatically at the other boy.
“Perhaps. I left of my own accord. People tend not to like living with a man who’s given them countless scars, would you know?
“I would never have been good enough for my father. Some people are just bad, and I’m not afraid to say that my father is one of those people.”
The redhead didn’t answer, just staring at Draco in shock now, as well as the origional anger.
Draco was handed a toad, and with one last tight smile, he left the compartment without another wor d.
~~~
Harry’s POV
“Thank you! Oh, Trevor, I thought I’d never find you!” Neville wailed, cradling the toad with an air of reverance that seemed strange in comparison to the grey, slimy amphibian he held in his hands. Harry had a pet snake though, and since most people hated snakes he figured he wasn’t really one to talk.
“Thank you so much! How did you even find him?” Neville asked a strangely subdued Draco. He looked very dejected and gloomy. Harry wondered if something had happened to him that was making him act this way.
“Saturn could smell him. I merely followed his directions to a compartment,” he stated simply, and sat down heavily in his chair. Harry sat back down next to him, and with a moment of consideration, asked Hermione and Neville if they wanted to sit with them. They both declined, saying that they had people to return to, and Harry was secretly glad. He wasn’t sure how Draco would have felt about them staying, but felt it would be rude not to ask. Once they had left the compartment, sliding the door shut, Harry turned to Draco.
“What happened?” Draco started, and turned his head towards Harry’s general direction, thought he didn’t make eye contact. Harry was glad for that, because it meant Draco had taken to heart what Harry had said earlier about making him comfortable.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Draco, but Harry wasn’t buying it for a second. He narrowed his eyes, and gave Draco a skeptical look.
“You’ve been acting subdued since you came back with Neville’s toad. Something happened to make you upset, and I want to know what so I can kill whoever upset you.” Harry declared, pounding his fist into his palm and ilicciting a soft chuckle from Draco, which he took as a win. Draco pulled his legs up, and rested his chin on his knees.
“Just some boy being an arse. Nothing too bad just- he said a lot of things that hit too far to home. He seemed to hate my father, and me as an extension to him.” Harry heard the hurt in Draco’s voice, and his heart squeezed in his chest. He hated seeing his friend like this, and now he was seriously considering actually beating up this boy. But that would cause more problems than it would solve, so instead Harry very cautiously wrapped an arm around Draco’s shoulders and squeezed him gently.
“Well, that prat doesn’t know anything. You’re nothing like your father, Draco. You’re wonderful, and if that boy doesn’t see that, it’s his problem. Don’t bother with his opinion, because he doesn’t know you and he’s going entirely off prejudice.” Harry patted Draco’s shoulder awkwardly, and removed his arm from around the other boy’s shoulder, feeling strangely warm. Draco sighed.
“I know he doesn’t know me its just- what if he’s right, and all I’ll ever be is a subset of my father? What if I grow up to be like him?” This was clearly something that Draco worried about a lot.
“That’s not going to happen.” Harry stated, tone firm, leaving no room for debate.
“How do you know?” Draco asked, his voice wavering and strained. Harry put a hand on his heart, and physically turned in his seat to face Draco.
“Because I won’t let you. You’re already so different from your father, and if you start acting like a bigoted arsehole I’ll be sure to whack you upside the head and snap you out of it.” Draco laughed, properly now, and it was so infectious that soon, Harry was laughing along with him. But the only thing on his mind was how nice Draco’s laugh was, and how much Harry wanted to hear it again. and again.
Harry swore, there and then, that he would do everything he could to hear this wonderful sound as much as possible.
~~~
Draco’s POV
Draco shivered uncomfortably, his fingers tensing into claws at the intensely uncomfortable feeling he was being forced to endure. The cause of this problem? The Hogwarts school uniform. It had stiff, starchy grey pants, a long-sleeved shirt with a collar, and worst of all- a school jumper. A school jumper that, in Draco’s personal opinion, was specifically designed to be as scratchy as possible. Draco rolled his shoulders back, and exited the bathroom he had been changing in, trying to look stoic and indifferent. His skin felt like it was being pricked by a thousand needles, itchy and scratchy and tight in all the wrong places. Draco wanted to rip it off, but he knew he had to wear the uniform.
Even if it made him feel like dying.
Draco stepped back into the compartment, where Harry was already sitting, looking a bit uncomfortable himself. Draco sat down heavily and resisted the urge to claw at his arms until he couldn’t feel this horrible sensation.
“It’s horrible, isn’t it. ” Harry grimaced, looking down at his own arm and shivering. Draco only nodded resignedly, and buried his face in his hands. When he spoke, it came out muffled and distorted, though Harry seemed to understand him just fine.
“It makes me feel like dying. It’s like thousands of tiny needles, poking and prodding and scratching,” he bemoaned, and sighed loudly. “It’s like it’s designed to be as uncomfortable as possible.”
Draco heard a sympathetic sound of agreement, and yelped when Harry patted him on the back. Draco lowered his hands from his face to shoot a glare at Harry, who only laughed. Draco sighed melodramatically, and faceplanted into the table. Why was he cursed with this stupid uniform for the next... 7 years?
“You only have to hold out until the end of the feast, and then you can take it off.” Harry reassured him, but Draco didn’t feel like being reasonable.
“But I have to wear it five days a week, for hours on end! I’ll die. I’m not going to make it to the end of the year.” Draco knew full well he was being dramatic but- well, he was a dramatic person, and though complaining about his problems didn’t really solve them it certainly made him feel better. Usually.
“Don’t worry. I actually have an idea about that. I’ll have to talk to dad-Proffessor Snape- about it,but...” Harry trailed off. Draco merely groaned in response but he was cut off by a loud whistle from the train and the screeching grinding of gears and brakes slowing down. Draco clamped his hands over his ears, and, embarrassingly, whimpered at how loud the noise was. Thankfully, or not, depends on how you look at it really, it was far too loud for Harry to hear Draco being generally pathetic.
“Looks like the train’s stopped! I suppose we should get out, huh?” Harry said, once the noise had died down. Draco nodded, and, picking up his luggage, led the way out of the compartment into complete and utter chaos.
Notes:
These children curse a lot. Its probably fine?
Chapter 11: Sorting
Notes:
OMG GUYS 100 KUDOS THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
Seriously, I wasn't expecting anything like this, you're all amazing! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou-(again, sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Harry’s POV
“Firs’ years! Firs’ years over ‘ere!” Harry heard a gruff voice shouting over the throng of students. It was incredibly loud and Harry certainly noticed Draco’s stiff posture and heavy breathing, so when Harry located the source of the voice- a truly gigantic man with an unruly beard- Harry grabbed Draco’s arm and dragged him over to where the man was herding a pack of eleven year olds towards a large body of water.
“’Ello! Will the two of ye jump inter tha’ boat overr there- yeh, the one with the tall kid- NO MOR’N THREE TO A BOAT! ” the man yelled, so loud that it hurt even Harry’s head. If it was too loud even for Harry, he couldn’t even imagine how Draco was feeling. One glance in his direction confirmed that Draco was not coping well with the noise, so Harry pulled him along to where the man had told them to go, and helped him into the boat.
“Hello.” Harry greeted the other boy in the boat, who was looking rather nervous and tired. He was tall, and had very thin limbs. He flinched when Harry greeted him, and offered no response. Harry shrugged, and turned to Draco, who still looked like he was being assaulted by sound. From the descriptions he had given Harry, he sort of was.
“You okay?” Harry asked, and Draco nodded slightly. Harry took it as a ‘Best I’m gonna get’ scenario sat back in the uncomfortable bench on the boat. He checked Rainbow, who’s carrier was in his lap. Through the clear plastic roof on the box, Harry could see that she was curled up tightly and was glaring at him in accusation. Harry had found he was able to understand her feelings and expressions, though it was more of an intuitive feeling than an ability to read the facial expressions of a serpent.
“I know girl, this cage is small, but I’ll let you out later and then you can roam free!” Harry crooned, trying to calm his angry pet. Rainbow didn’t respond, merely turning her head away from Harry in comtempt. He could almost sense her huffing, and Harry marvelled at how similar her personality was to Draco’s. Harry reflected, now, on the time he had spent with the blonde in the past few weeks. They didn’t meet up every day but they did end up hanging out whenever they could. They didn’t always talk, sometimes favouring silence, but when they did it was easy conversation, flowing from topic to topic. Sometimes Draco opened up about something, sometimes Harry did, but more often than not they just messed around, chatting like people who had known eachother their whole lives rather than a month.
It was strange, but it was nice. Harry looked at Draco now, as the boats spurred into action and drifted lazily across the black water. His blonde hair was blowing back from his face, and he looked a lot more relaxed now. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing slowly and deeply. Harry realised he was staring. He tore his eyes away from his friend, feeling his insides squirm and cheeks heat up , though he wasn’t entirely sure why. Harry noticed the other boy on the boat looking at him curiously, so Harry cleared his throat and turned his attention to him.
“I didn’t get your name. Mine’s Harry Potter, what about you?” Harry asked. The boy shifted in his seat, and didn’t meet Harry’s eyes, though he didn’t mind since he knew not everyone liked eye contact. It would be rather hypocritical of him to say that Draco didn’t have to make eye contact with him and then force random strangers to.
“Theodore Nott.” He mumbled, and Harry had to strain his ears to catch what he was saying.
“Very nice to meet you Theodore!” Harry smiled widely. Theodore smiled back briefly, but it wasn’t very enthusiastic. He seemed to be very shy, but that didn’t deter Harry from making light conversation for the whole boat ride. He was doing most of the heavy lifting, but he didn’t mind. His mind was always so busy, so he could kind of just blather forever, something he has a tendency to start doing randomly. It drove his dad mad, but it wasn’t really something Harry could just not do. He didn’t usually do it on purpose, he was just vulnerable to going off on tangeants. In situations like this however, it was a great skill to have. Harry chatted on and on until they had finally crossed the lake and came to a halt. Harry clambered out of the boat, reaching out a hand to pull Draco up and out as well. The pair stood stiffly, side by side, waiting for instruction. The gigantic man from earlier waited for all of the students to arrive, before shouting for them all to follow him.
“C’mon, this way! Everyone follow me, single file, leave yer pets here and it’ll be put away in yer dorms when yer sorted.” He bellowed, and Harry stole a glance at Draco, who’s hands were twitching at his sides. Harry stepped a little closer to him, and carefully linked their fingers together, hidden by their long robes sleeves. To an outiser’s perspective, they just looked like they were standing next to eachother. Harry knew that the society he lived in was a homophobic one, and though it was a platonic guesture meant to comfort, Harry knew that anyone on the outside would see two boys holding hands and think- gay! People would bully and tease to no end.
Though, Harry thought, they wouldn’t be wrong in thinking you’re queer. Maybe not Draco, but you know yourself. Harry flashed back to a summer camp, about a year ago, where he met a boy who he instantly developed a crush on. Harry had realised then that he didn’t only like girls. He liked boys, and though he hadn’t ever had a crush on a girl, he thought he probably could. He wasn’t quite sure though . It was all terribly confusing and a bit scary , so Harry pushed the train of thought out of his mind for now.
Harry let go of Draco’s finger as they organised themselves into a sigle-file line, as instructed. Harry was reluctant to leave Rainbow, but everyone else was leaving their pets so Harry eventually relented and set her down next to his trunk. (when had that got there? They didn’t have it on the boat...)
“Right! This way, c’mon!” The man shouted. All of the nervous first years trailed after him towards a towering castle. When they reached the huge double doors, Harry was growing excited, and from the enthusiastic chatter that surrounded him so was the rest of the class. The man threw open the doors, revealing the interior of the castle. Harry stepped into a ginormous entrance hall, completely in awe of this archetectural wonder. The ceiling was so high that it would have taken at least twenty students stacked on top of eachother to touch it. There was an extravagent chandelier lighting the room and a huge staircase leading to who-knows-where. Harry took in the magnificent sight before him, barely registering the gasps of wonder coming from his classmates. The entrance hall was amazing. Harry was abosolutely itching to go and explore the rest of the ancient castle. No doubt it held many long forgotten secrets.
“C’mon! In ‘ere, until the sorting starts,” Hagrid ushered the first years into a small room, but he didn’t enter himself. Once they were all inside Harry turned to Draco, only to see that his friend was turning slightly green.
“What’s wrong?” Draco started, and looked around as if he hadn’t registered where they were until just now. He opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by a high pitched squeal.
“Draco darling, it’s so good to see you!”
~~~
Draco’s POV
“Draco darling, it’s so good to see you!” Draco balked as Pansy Parkinson -his ex-potential fiancé- threw herself at him and latched onto his arm. Draco wasn’t really one for physical contact, only tolerating it with a sparse few people. And Pansy Parkinson was not one of those people. Draco struggled to detatch himself from her, but she wasn’t letting go of his arm. Draco supressed a shiver. She was really just maximising the points where his uncomfortable uniform touched his skin and he also just really didn’t want to be touching her. It made him feel tense and prickly and he didn’t like it.
“Please let go of my arm,” he tried to pry her off, but she only shook her head.
“Come on darling! I haven’t seen you in ages, why didn’t you answer my letters over the summer? ” She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip. Draco could feel himself losing control, the unwanted physical contact and the shrill sound of her voice tearing away at his restraint.
“Pansy, get off.” He ground out, teeth clenched. Draco could feel tears prickling the sides of his eyes, but he didn’t fully understand why. He wasn’t sad, but he supposed the feelings he was feeling now could be described as a pain? No- it felt more like he was completely losing control over what he would do. Last time he had felt like this he had burst into tears, starting screaming and flapping his hands and slapped someone, completly unable to control what his limbs were doing.
Maybe Pansy could do with being slapped across the face.
“Oh come one darling, we’re going to be married when we graduate!” Pasny insisted, and Draco realised that she didn’t know that he had left Malfoy Manor. He didn’t want to talk about this though, especially not with Pansy. She still wasn’t letting go of his arm. Draco searched for a way to convince her to let go, but his mind was blinded by an irrational panic that was eating away at his vision. Thankfully, Draco didn’t have to do anything, as Harry stepped in and physically pullled Pansy away, looking incensed.
“He told you to let go! If someone tells you not to touch them, you fucking don’t!” He snarled, and Draco watched with a mixture of fear and wonder. Harry was scary when he was angry, and Pansy was clearly feeling that anger. She squeaked, and ran away as fast as one could in a room full of people. Harry turned to Draco, the angry expression on his face softening to a more concerned one.
“Are you okay?” Harry asked, scanning Draco up and down. Draco gulped, not entirely sure why his throat felt like it had a sock in it.
“Y-yes,” Draco stammered out, and Harry nodded happily, back to his normal lighthearted demeanor. It was strange, how easily he could change from two ends of an extreme so quickly. The room was now silent, everyone else had been watching the interaction. Draco didn’t like the feeling of all the eyes on him, and he tried to look as small as possible.
“Isn’t that Draco Malfoy? And Harry Potter, son of Lily and James Potter, the war heroes? What’s Harry doing, hanging around death eater scum, doesn’t he know they killed his parents?”
“I saw him on the train. Turns out, Malfoy’s a Parselmouth.”
“Fucking Slytherins, everyone knows what house Malfoy’ll be in.”
“That Malfoy’s a piece of work, everyone knows. His father’s a minisrty asshole, and no doubt his son’s the same.”
Draco had expected for everyone to hate him. Everyone knew the Malfoy house, after all. It still hurt a lot to hear people judging him, looking only at his name and not giving the person behind it a second thought. He hadn’t done anything wrong, but of course as always, prejudice was ruining his life. Why was everyone so quick to hate people for things outside of their control?
“Don’t listen to them, Draco. They don’t know anything, so just ignore them. I know you, and I know that your name doesn’t define you. So you go out there, and be the nicest fucking person in this whole entire school, and prove them wrong.” the ferocity in Harry’s tone returned, (alonge with the cursing) and Draco was surprised and amazed by how big an impact Harry’s determination had on him. Draco nodded firmly.
He was going to be the nicest fucking Slytherin, Pureblood Parselmouth this school would ever see... except maybe for Harry. Draco didn’t think he would be able to beat Harry in the ‘nice’ department.
***
“Now students, I will call your names and you go sit on the stool, where the hat will sort you into your respective houses.” Professor McGonagall ordered, unrolling a long scroll and starting on the list of names. Draco was jittery, unable to stop himself from bouncing up and down on his feet and wiggling his fingers. What if the hat just didn’t sort him? Said that he wasn’t worthy of studying at Hogwarts and threw him out? Draco knew that wasn’t going to happen, had literally never happened, but the fear was still there.
Not the only fear though. His greater fear was of being sorted into a different house to Harry, which was much more likely than the hat tossing him out. Harry was probably not a Gryffindor, but he was so caring and loyal, he may well be sorted into Hufflepuff. Draco could imagine Harry in Ravenclaw, but he could equally be either a Hufflepuff or a Slytherin. Draco selfishly hoped that it would be the latter of the two, not wanting to be alone in the house. Draco wondered himself where he would be sorted. All his life, he had been sure of Slytherin, and though it certainly seemed the most likely for him, he began to wonder...
No, he was almost definitaly Slytherin.
A good third of the line had been sorted by now, Draco hadn’t even noticed. He was going to be called soon, and he felt sick. All the possibilities tangling together to create a knot in his stomach, and he was almost choking on his own air.
What if the hat said he was a horrible person?
What if it sorted him into Slytherin?
What if it didn’t?
“Malfoy, Draco,” this was it. Draco stumbled over to the stool and pulled on the hat, dreading what it would say. He flinched when he heard a voice in his ear.
“Hmm... plenty of bravery, and courage, but I can see you wouldn’t quite fit in Gryffindor- cunning, lots of it- a thirst to prove yourself- and you can speak parselmouth- oh, what’s this? Oh my, another one? Well I always put your sort there so definitaly- SLYTHERIN!” The hat called that last bit out loudly, and Draco took off the hat, walking over to the cheering Slytherin table in a daze.
Was this what he had wanted?
Would he fit in?
What had the hat seen, near the end there?
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry watched as Draco walked towards the Slytherin table, and groaned when Pansy Parkinson followed him not two minutes later. Harry smiled with grim satisfaction when she cast Draco a longing look, glanced at Harry, and sat at the other end of the table to Draco. Three more people were sorted, and then Proffessor McGOnagall called out;
“Potter, Harry!” Harry made eye contact with Severus from where he sat at the teachers table, and when he recieved a reassuring nod, walked over to the stool and pulled the hat on.
“Aha! I had been waiting for you, you know. Hmm, yes... a lot of loyalty, and courage. Cunning- hmm, you’re a tricky one, that’s for sure. A Parselmouth, on top of it all- a lot of you this year, more than usual- Three houses you would fit in- I’ll have to dig a bit deeper.” Harry was confused by this chatter in his ear, but he knew that the Hat would sort him into the house he would fit into best.
“Oh! The man you consider a father was a Slytherin, no? You have a desire to make him proud- and there’s someone I’ve already sorted that you want to be near- Oh goodness, yet another one? Well, I guess I’ll send you there with the rest of them- SLYTHERIN!” Harry grinned, and pulled the hat off. He bounded over to the Slytherin table and sat down next to Draco, who was smiling broadly and looking relieved. Harry bumped him on the shoulder, and looked back to Severus, who was smiling discreetly.
“Welcome to Slytherin, Potter! Surprising you weren’t a Gryffindor, both of your parents were!” An older boy who was sitting across the table from him exclaimed, offering a hand for Harry to shake. Harry took it, and shrugged.
“Well, my dad was a Slytherin- not my blood father, my adoptive one- so I suppose it would make sense. And I can talk to snakes!” The entire table went silent and stared at Harry in astonishment, and he cringed. He had forgotten about the stigma around Parseltoungue-
“Really!? That’s so cool!” A couple people remarked. Harry blinked in surprise. He supposed that hthis was the snake house, founded by Salazar Slytherin himself, one of the most famous known parselmouths in history, so maybe it made sense that Slytherins wouldn’t mind him being a parselmouth. As the last few students were sorted into their houses. Harry answered question after question, Draco sitting silently at his side. Chatter filled the hall, each individual voice bouncing off the walls. Would it reall hurt that much to add soundproofing? Suddenly, like a spell had washed over the entire hall, everyone went quiet and faced the head table. Harry looked over to see the Headmaster, Proffessor Dumbledore, standing up with his arms wide.
“Hello to all! To our new students, welcome. To our old ones, welcome back. Before we start the feast, I have a few announcements to make! Firstly, we have a few new additions to staff! Returning after a year away we have Proffessor Quirrel, resuming his post as Defense Against the Dark Arts Proffessor!” Dumbledore paused for a second to let the clapping die down, as Quirrell stood and bowed shakily. “And, as our new Potions Master and Slytherin Head of house; Proffessor Severus Snape!” Harry clapped and cheered with the rest of his house, but noticed that the rest of the houses weren’t very enthusiastic in their celebrations. Harry shrugged it off, and applauded his Dad.
“A few important rules to go over, and then you can all tuck in. There is a locked corridor on the third floor- please don’t go in, unless you want to die. The Forbidden Forest is out of bounds as always- and any additional rules, you can go look at the list on Mister Filch’s door. Now, without further ado- tuck in!” Dumbledore waved his wand, and suddenly the tables were laden with all kinds of food. Harry started filling his plate, all the while chatting with his fellow housemates.
“That new Proffessor, Snape, looks a bit grumpy! I wonder what he’s like? He is our new head of house, after all,” remarked the boy from earlier to his friend. Harry, without really thinking, butted into their conversation.
“Oh, he’s really nice. All Bark, no bite, though I expect he’ll give out far too many detentions.” Harry sighed, already knowing that he would be expected to do well in his father’s class.
“How is Salazar’s name would you know that!?” the boy exclaimed, and Harry’s eyes widened. He hadn’t really talked to Severus about this, but he supposed they couldn’t exactly keep it a secret either. Harry jsut hoped people wouldn’t think he was recieving preferential treatment.
“Oh um- he’s my father, I suppose- well he raised me at least.” The boy gaped at Harry, his eyes wide in shock.
“He’s your father! Our head of house, Severus Snape, is your father???” He seemed so surprised that Harry had to supress a giggle. He nodded and shoved a forkful of food into his mouth.
“I don’t believe you.” said the boy, crossing his arms and frowning. Harry wanted to protest, but he had food in his mouth, and he had table manners! Kind of!
“He’s telling the truth.” Draco surprised both Harry and the boy when he spoke, having been silent until now. Harry shot him an appreciative look, and swallowed this mouthful of food.
“How would you know?” The boy asked, one eyebrow raised. Draco rolled his eyes, and put his fork down.
“I’ve met him, idiot. I saw him a few times over the Summer, he’s close with my aunt.” The boy looked even more skeptical now, crossing his arms.
“Your aunt who is in Azkaban?” Draco sighed, and rolled his eyes again, clearly not pleased with the boy’s antics.
“No, not my aunt Bellatrix. My aunt Andromeda.” Draco emphasised each syllable, as though talking to a younge child. Harry found himself once again stifling giggles.
“She was disowned, she doesn’t have contact with the Malfoy’s.” The boy said stubbornly, and Harry flinched. Draco was clearly getting annoyed.
“Amazing to think I know my own family dynamics better than you. If you knew everything about my family, you would know that I’m living with Andromeda for the forseeable future, but since you don’t know me beyond my surname, I suppose you wouldn’t.” Draco picked back up his cutlery and started neatly cutting up a piece of chicken. He was either oblivious or ignoring everyone in the surrounding vicintiy staring at him.
“Y-you aren’t living with your parents?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
“None of your business,” Draco snapped, and Harry took that as his queue to stop the line of questioning.
“Draco’s right, it isn’t any of our business, so don’t ask. That goes for all of you!” Harry addressed the group of people leaning forward, trying to listen in on their conversation. They all looked away quickly, apprehensive at being caught. Harry finished eating in silence, neither him nor Draco engaging in conversation. By the time dessert was finished, Harry was knackered. So, when Dumbledore stood up to give a few final words, he was incredibly relieved.
“Now, I know that you are all tired, so I will only ask one more thing of all of you! It is time to sing our school song! Pick your own tune, music is unique to the individual,” Dumbledore announced before raising his wand. Words coiled out of it, snake-like, and hung in the air.
Harry groaned, and refused to sing the ridiculous song. He noticed most of his house doing the same, so at least he wasn’t alone in his contempt for the abomination that Dumbledore was calling ‘music’. It was more like torture, all the clashing words, keys, pitches and rhythms not working well together. Harry eventually gave in and blocked his ears with his hands, thankfully not the only person to do so.
D raco just sat stiffly, wearing an almost-poker face. Harry knew him though, so he could see that his jaw was tense and eyes pained.
“Ah, music. A magic in it’s own right,” Said Dumbledore once the ‘song’ was finally over, wiping a tear from his eye. “Now! Off to bed, and sweet dreams! First years, follow your prefects to your dormetories.” There was a shuffing as everyone left the hall, but Harry, Draco and the rest of the Slytherin first years staye d seated, not sure where to go. Thankfully, a handful of the older students started rounding up the first years and led them out of the warm hall and down a dark, cold stairway. Harry sh i vered at the cold, and noticed Draco pressing a little closer to him until they emerged into a dimly-lit corridor and stopped in front of a large stretch of empty wall. One of the prefects turned to address the group, her voice cold and impassive.
“Now, you need a password to enter the common room, so people from other houses can’t get in without permission. The password for the next fortnight is ephemeral. The new head of house has decided that the passwords shall be unusual words, so we may extend our vocabularies. Ephemeral means ‘lasting a very short amount of time’ ” As she talked, the wall opened, like the one at Diagon Alley, the bricks folding away and revealing a large room full of bookcases and armchairs. There was a large fireplace in the centre of the back wall and students milling around, chatting and reading. What reall y caught Harry’s attention however was a huge window that showed the bottom of the great lake, the milky darkness extending seemingly forever. Harry could see movement behind the glass, but he couldn’t quite place what it was-
“Boys follow Mulciber, girls follow me,” commanded the prefect, everyone scrambling to meet her commands. Harry followed a huge, troll-like boy as he led them up a staircase that branched off to the side. There were several landings, all of which had large doors and a plaque proclaiming what year they were for. Eventually, once they had decended seven flights of stairs, so deep underground now that the air was as cold as the lake itself in winter, they arrived at the first year dorm.
“Right! You have all have to be in here or in the common room by curfew every night, or you’ll most likely get a detention. Your beds have been assigned already, and don’t go squabbling about it because nobody gives a shit about your tiny problems. You boys aren’t technically allowed in the girls dorms, and visa versa, so just hang out in the common room. If you have any other questions, don’t ask me.” Mulciber turned and walked back upstairs, leaving Harry, Draco and four others to slowly file into the room.
“I suppose this will do.” one of the boys sniffed houghtily, and Harry had to stifle a snicker. The room was huge, and every bed was twice as large as Harry’s at home. In a stark contrast to the co r ridor leading in this room was pleasantly cool, a good temparaure for sleeping. Harry spotted his bed, seeing Rainbow’s travel box, and was delighted to see that Draco’s was right next to his. Harry bounded over, not really paying attention to the rest of the room, and let a very disgruntled Rainbow out.
“ Itssss cold, you know. I am not warm blooded like you humanssss. ” She scolded as she wound her way up Harry’s arm, into his sleeve. Harry laughed sheepishly, and sat down on the bed.
“ Sorry. I wasn’t supposed to bring you into the great hall, but I brought you back some chicken. ” Harry held a slice of chicken in his palm, having shoved it in his pocket earlier. Rainbow poked her head out of his sleeve only long enough to snap her jaws around the meat, then she retreated back into his robes.
“What on Earth have you got there Potter?” drawled a boy that Harry thought was called Blaise Zabini, though he wasn’t fully sure.
“My pet snake.” Harry said simply as the boy strode up to him, looking very snooty and obnoxious in Harry’s opinion.
“We arenn’t allowed snakes.” He seemed very confident, and more than a little snobbish. Harry found it funny, to be honest.
“We are if we have permission from our head of house.” Harry explained, giggling as Rainbow’s tail end tickled his shoulder blade. She was slowly wrapping herself around his kneck, but Harry knew she wasn’t about to strangle him so he wasn’t worried.
“You must have been very sure you were getting into Slytherin then Potter- you do realise it could kill you like that?” Zabini looked at Harry like he was a stupid little bug, and he rather didn’t like it. So he decided to show off, if only a little.
“She isn’t going to kill me, she promised not to. Didn’t you, girl. If you ate me, Draco certainly wouldn’t feed you, it wouldn’t be in your best interest. ” Harry hears a snort from Draco’s bed, but the rest of the room didn’t understand what he had said. Zabini looked indignant, clearly disliking not knowing exactly what was being said.
“Parselmouth is said to be the mark of a dark wizard, is it not?” He sneered. Harry shrugged.
“Well, i t’s also said to be a very Slytherin characteristic. And Salazar Slytherin wasn’t a dark wizard, not according to unbiased accounts. Unfortunately most accounts we have of the founders are the Sorting Hat, which seems to be a very biased source, wouldn’t you say?” Zabini didn’t seem to know what Harry was on about, and not liking lookin g like he didn’t know something (god forbid), he huffed and stalked off. Harry laughed quietly to himself, and set about unpacking his trunk.
~~~
Draco’s POV
Draco liked the Slytherin dorms. They were spacious and every bed had curtains around them for privacy. Everyone had a wardrobe to hang their clothes in, along with some shelves for personal items. Unlike how Draco had dreaded, not everything was green or snakey. There were a few Slytherin hangings, but other than that everything was in neutral greys, browns and whites. It was much less of a sensory overload than Draco had dreaded so he was really quite pleased with his living quarters for the next few years.
D raco pulled open the hangings around his bed, having changed into some comfortable ‘loungewear’ as Ted had called it. The fabric was soft, and the seams weren’t too noticeable. Draco lay back on his bed, revelling in the comfort of not having to wear that blasted uniform.
“It’s nice in here, isn’t it? Peaceful, and it thankfully isn’t all green,” Harry said as he unceremoniously flopped down on Draco’s bed, rumpling the sheets. Draco rolled his eyes at his antics, but couldn’t fight the smile on his lips at his friend’s behaviour. It was so unlike what Draco had known before, but it was refreshing to see people actually express their emotions. Much easier to figure out the intent behind people’s words that wasy.
“Yes, it is. Saturn likes it too, so that’s good.” Draco said, and neither boy said anything for a while. Draco was wondering what the hat had meant by ‘ Oh my, one of them again? Well I always put your sort there so definately- SLYTHERIN!’ what had he meant by ‘another one’? Another what? Not Parselmouth, he had already mentioned that, so what could it be? What other caregory of person would the hat just automatically send to Slytherin if he saw whatever it was in someone’s mind? Had the hat said something similar to Harry? After a few minutes of asking the same questions and getting no closer to an answer, Draco cleared his throat and looked to his side where Harry was absently tracing patterns onto the duvet.
“The hat said something weird to me.” Draco stopped, unsure whether to go on. What if it was a bad thing? But an interested and expectant look from Harry spurred Draco to keep talking.
“It said ‘oh my, another one? Well, I always put your sort there so definitaly Slytherin’. It had already mentioned the Parselmouth, so what could it have been on about?” Harry sat up, now seeming very invested in this conversation.
“He said something similar to me! He said-” Harry scrunched up his face in concentration, clearly trying to remember the wording, “ ‘Aha! I had been waiting for you, you know. Hmm, yes... a lot of loyalty, and courage. Cunning- hmm, you’re a tricky one, that’s for sure. A Parselmouth, on top of it all- a lot of you this year, more than usual- Three houses you would fit in- I’ll have to dig a bit deeper.’ and then ‘Oh! The man you consider a father was a Slytherin? You have a desire to make him proud- and there’s someone I’ve already sorted that you want to be near- Oh goodness, yet another one? Well, I guess I’ll send you there with the rest of them- SLYTHERIN!’ ”
H arry recounted expressively, hands waving about.
Draco blinked blankly at him, momentarily forgetting why he was hearing this in the first place. Instead he was focusing on the fact that the hat had seen that Harry wanted to be in the same house as him, and that it had influenced his sorting.
“The hat saw that you wanted to be in the same house as me?” Draco blurted out, then realised that it was weird to point out, but he couldn’t exactly take it back now-
“Hm? Oh yea, obviously I wanted to be in the same house as my best friend. It means we can share classes!” Draco was touched that Harry wanted to spend time with him, and a little surprised. Why would anyone want to be his friend anyway? He wasn’t charismatic, or funny. He was just a socially awkward eleven-year-old with no real family any more and a general hatred of social situations.
“That’s very Hufflepuff of you, Harry.” Draco chuckled, masking his spiralling insecure self-doubt. Harry rolled his eyes.
“Well, it did say I would fit in three houses, until it saw whatever it was. Seriously though, what could he be on about?” Draco shrugged, back to being curious.
“Hang on, let’s make a list of things about ourselves it could be, I’m fairly sure it was on about the same thing in both situations.” Draco grabbed a notebook and pen, two muggle contraptions that Ted had given him. They were significantly easier to use than parchment and a quill and Draco had quicly become obsessed with them, buying all sorts of different colours and styles of pen. Ted had watched in amusement as Draco flitted about the muggle stationary shop they had gone to, as Draco exclaimed over all the different colours there were. Coloured ink was expensive in the wizarding world, so being able to buy little ‘plastic’ thigies that lasted ages for less than a sickle in muggle money was truly amazing.
“Here, I’ll write on mine and you do yours.”
The two set about listing things about themselves that wouldn’t be considered ‘normal’ or ‘common’, along with some other random things. Draco’s list contained;
-
Raised by Slytherins
-
traditionally slytherin lineage
-
generally socially awkward
-
dislike of loud noises, crowds etc.
-
Parselmouth
-
Estranged from parents?
-
...pureblood???
Draco honestly had no idea what he was looking for. There was something Draco felt like he was missing, but he couldn’t pin his finger on it.
Or well, he could but he didn’t want to.
He could write that he really, really didn’t want to marry a girl, and that he would much prefer to marry a man.
No. Draco instructed himself firmly, you aren’t allowed to think that, to be that.
These thoughts are a phase. You don’t need to mention it.
Draco knew he was in denial, but he was also denying being in denial.
He wasn’t sure how Harry would react to it anyway and he didn’t want to lose his best friend. He wasn’t even sure anyway.
...that was a lie. More denial, yay...
Draco hesitantly slid his paper over to Harry, and recieved Harry’s in return. Harry’s was written in his familiar scribble, and Draco smirked at the contrast between his, careful and loopy handwriting, and Harry’s scrawl. It was legible, at least. Draco noticed Harry looking shifty, and uncharacteristically nervous. He was looking pointedly to the side, not even looking at the bit of paper Draco had gicen him. Wondering what on earth had him so... apprehensive, Draco looked down at the paper he had been given.
-
Parselmouth
-
Raised by a Slytherin
-
loyal ‘to a fault’.... but that’s Hufflepuff!
-
maybekindasortalittlebitqueer
Draco stared at the last item on the list, and suddenly Harry’s anxious behaiviour made more sense. It was written really small, as though Draco wouldn’t notice it. Draco, relieved but unsure of how to react, didn’t say anything, which was clearly the wrong move. Harry stood up, looking very distressed, and left the room in a hurry. Draco swore under his breath, and, ignoring the curious stares of his dormmates, followed Harry.
Notes:
In order of things happening-
1. Harry looking to his dad when he's being sorted (cutie)
2. Draco denialing so hard. (he may as well be the river at this point)
3. Harry impulsively coming out without properly thinking it through (totally not my coming out story...)
4. Draco not knowing how to react and Harry thinking he was angry (nooo why did I do this :((((( )Quick note on the whole... eleven year olds knowing they're queer...
I knew I was queer when I was eleven, I just didn't have a label and thought I needed to find one. I was irrationally scared of my family's reactions (they were so supportive and I love them), and I didn't come out until I was thirteen, and even then I came out to all of my new secondary school friends before my parents.Its just easier to tell people you don't really know that well? It still sucks if they react badly, but if you aren't like, emotionally attatched to them you it doesn't hurt as much.
(also I just wrote this bit on a whim and didn't want to delete it because it influenced the rest of the plot heavily)
Chapter 12: (coming) out
Notes:
I am sososo sorry for taking so long to post! I had a really busy three weeks. I should have anticipated being so busy, but I thought I would have enough time.
I was wrong.
Sorry about that, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Harry's POV
Harry fled the dorm room, cursing himself for being so stupid. What had possessed him, telling a boy he had known for only a few months something that he himself barely knew or understood? He clearly hadn’t been thinking. He hadn’t even told him father, and now everyone would know and his dad would hate him forever and he would be alone. Harry reached the top of the stairs and entered the common room. He knew it was after curfew and that he shouldn’t leave, but he really needed to be alone right now. The wall opened and Harry barreled through it, barely holding back tears. He ran down the corridor, took a left and...
...ran straight into his father.
Great. Not even five seconds, and he had already run into a teacher.
“Harry, what on earth are you doing out past curfew?” Severus scolded, confused and irritated. Harry opened his mouth to answer, but instead of words a choked sob escaped his mouth. Severus’ face quickly changed from annoyed to concerned and he swiftly pulled Harry into an empty room a little further up the corridor. Once in the relative privacy of an empty classroom, Harry lost all semblance of control and collapsed into his father’s arms.
“Shh- you’re okay.” Severus said, slowly kneeling on the ground to better support Harry’s weight. “It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He stroked Harry’s hair in a familiar and comforting gesture, but it only made Harry cry harder. Severus didn’t know what Harry had just told Draco. Logically, Harry knew that Severus probably wouldn’t really care who Harry fancied as long as he was happy and safe, but the fear was still there, overwhelming and all-encompassing. Harry had tried to tell him before, but the words always died in his throat. How he had managed to tell Draco, he didn’t know. Perhaps writing it down had helped. The memory of how Draco had stared at the paper, face stony only made Harry cry harder.
“Harry, what in Salazar’s name is wrong?” Severus asked. Harry tried to calm his tears but failed quite miserably. His breathing was coming in choked gasps, chest constricted and tight. His face was wet, his throat was sore, his head was aching. How was he already having a breakdown on his first day?
“You are acting very ssstrange. Why isss water coming out of your eyesss?” Rainbow hissed in Harry’s ear. Harry jolted, a strangled yelp interrupting his sobs. He had forgotten she was still in his robes. It was strangely comfortable to have a snake around your neck. Could you call a snake around your neck a scarf? Rainbow repeated her question but Harry didn’t answer her, instead trying very hard to stop crying.
I t still wasn’t working.
“Why are you wearing your snake like a scarf?” Severus asked. Harry took three deep, steadying breaths before managing to answer.
“I- Forgot she- was there” Harry wailed. Severus sighed. He was wearing that concerned, exasperated expression that turned up whenever Harry did something stupid.
Harry had done something stupid.
“Why was she there in the first place?” Severus’ voice was soft, familiar, and safe. Harry took another few deep breaths, his tears finally drying up.
“It’s cold in the dorms,” He explained, still sniffling pathetically. Severus quirked an eyebrow, amused.
“So you just let her use you as a personal hot water bottle?” Harry nodded numbly, scrubbing at his eyes. Severus let go of him, and manouvered himself until he was facing Harry, still on the floor of the empty room.
“What happened to make you so upset?” His gaze was worried and he was gripping Harry by his forearms. Harry hesitated. Was this finally the time that he told his father something he had been sitting on for far too long?
“It’s just- I told Draco... something, and he-” Harry choked on his words, not sure how to word this next bit. Severus was still looking at him expectantly, so Harry summoned all of his courage, which wasn’t a lot to be honest, and kept going.
“He didn’t say anything, and his expression looked so cold, and I haven’t told anyone before, and I don’t know, I’m tired, and it felt so- horrible, and I’m worried he’ll hate me now and tell everyone and then-”
“Salazar’s beard Harry, what on earth did you tell him that was so bad?” Harry gulped. His heart was pounding in his ears, his head was spinning, and why was this so fucking hard? Nope, no, he couldn’t do it. He shook his head rapidly and squeezed his eyes shut. He heard Severus sigh and shift his position so he could hug Harry to his chest.
“Okay Harry. As long as it’s nothing dangerous, you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready. I’m always here, if you need to talk.”
Harry breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that his dad was trusting him enough not to push.
“It’s nothing dangerous I swear, and I will tell you. I’m just- not ready.”
Severus hmmd and patted Harry on the head.
“Okay Harry. I’m trusting you on this, okay?”
Harry nodded into his father’s chest, guilt creeping up his throat and threatening to swallow him whole. Why couldn’t he just tell his dad this one thing?
Because you’re scared.
What was he scared of?
Hatred
rejection
coming out, and then realising that you were actually straight all along and people thinking you did it all for attention
Harry knew he wasn’t straight. He was only eleven, but ever since he learned what the term queer meant, he had known he was some form of it.
What he was scared of was trying to find a label, telling people he was that, and then realising he wasn’t.
Of course there was the small problem that half of Britain would hate him if he was publicly queer. Harry didn’t know which category his dad fell into. Homophobic, not homophobic.
How was he supposed to find out without his father knowing he was queer himself? It wasn’t exactly something you just brought up in 1990’s Britain. The topic was taboo, not something you discussed with chidren unless you wanted them to ‘catch the gay’. It just wasn’t something Severus had ever discussed, and the not knowing was a million times worse than knowing that Severus was homophobic. The possibility of acceptance, however slim... it gave Harry hope every time he steeled himself to say those three words.
He was no Gryffindor, that’s for sure, because he always chickened out.
There were some things that Harry couldn’t bear to lose, and his father was top of that list.
“Now Harry, about htis thing with Mr.Malfoy. Are you sure he was angry? I’ve seen the way he is with you, he clearly cares about you. I highly doubt anything short of murder would make him hate you. If whatever you told him is so scary, perhaps he just didn’t know how to react? You should try talking to him, just to see,”
Harry felt like kicking himself. Hadn’t Draco told him literally hours ago that his facial expressions didn’t always mirror how he felt? Of course, he wasn’t sure that Draco wasn’t actually angry, but he hadn’t said anything...
“I’m an idiot,” Harry mumbled, pulling away from his dad and scrubbing at his eyes.
“Not an idiot, you just don’t really think things through. Now, if you’re ready, go talk to Mr.Malfoy. He’s probably dying of worry,” Severus said softly. Harry nodded and stood up, turning to leave before he remembered something he had been meaning to ask his dad.
“Actually, one more thing....”
~~~
Meanwhile, In Draco’s POV...
Draco worried at his lip, sitting stiffly in an armchair. He hadn’t left the common room despite wanting desperately to find Harry. He probably (definitely) would immediataly have gotten lost in the huge castle. It was his first night here, though so much had happened today if felt more like a week.
Draco glanced at the entrance wall once again, still not seeing Harry. He felt so stupid, so angry at himself for ruining the one friendship he had. Draco had to make this right, to apologise. He hadn’t known how to react and Harry had thought him to be angry. Why did this always happen? Every good thing in his life, and he managed to ruin it.
“What isssss wrong?” Saturn hissed. Draco had gone back up to the dorms to fetch him once he had ascertained that Harry had left the common room, not wanting to just sit still and wallow. Now, he was sitting and wallowing in company. Having a snake in his arms gave him an excuse to fidget too, so that was a plus. Draco realised he had been thinking rather than answering Saturn.
T here he went again, spacing out forgetting to answer people.
“I’m a stupid idiot, that’s what’s wrong. Harry told me something important, and I couldn’t think of anything to say, and now he thinks I hate him.” Draco explained, hisses sounding slightly choked. “and now he’s left the common room, and I don’t know where he could have gone, and if I try follow him I’ll surely get lost.” Draco tipped his head back, banging it against the headrest on the chair. His internal monologue was a long, drawn out whyyyyyyyyy!?
“That sounds like an eventful first night at Hogwarts. Who’s Harry, your boyfriend?” Came someone – not Saturn’s – voice, from somewhere to his left. Draco yelped, an inexplicable flush colouring his cheeks. He looked around frantically to try and see who had been talking- in parseltoungue no less, to him. Eventually his eyes landed on a girl sitting nearby who was sporting a knowing smirk.
“Wha- NO!” Draco exclaimed, louder than intended. She didn’t look like she believed im, so Draco moved closer to her so they wouldn’t be overheard.
“He is not my boyfriend! What on earth gave you that impression? And why were you listening in to my conversation?” Draco whispered in parseltoungue. The girl understood him perfectly, which made sense as she had just been speaking it. (For a language that ‘only dark wizards’ spoke, Hogwarts had a lot of parselmouths.) She raised an eyebrow, and hissed back-
“Well, you’re almost crying ‘cause you upset him, and you’re a Slytherin. Nine times out of ten, that means you upset your boyfriend,” she said, ignoring his second question.
“He is not my boyfriend! And what’s being a Slytherin got to do with anything?” He hissed indignantly. She laughed, for far too long in Draco’s opinion, and sighed.
“Oh, firsties. So naive. The sorting hat sends half the queer kids to Slytherin, along with the bigoted arseholes. It’s strange, almost like he wants to punish us. Funny thing is, he’s often wrong. I know that the twins in Gryffindor are definitely bisexual, even if they don’t know it yet. I think that the hat only notices the queerness if you already know you’re queer, are questioning it, or if you’re so obviously in denial that a filthy old hat can see it. It has to be somewhat at the forefront of your mind, I suppose?” Draco blinked slowly, trying to take in the information. The sorting hat just... sent queer kids to Slytherin? That seemed a little idiotic. The hat can sift through your thoughts and look at your ‘attributes’, so perhaps it made sense it saw your sexual orientation...
“Is that what he meant by ‘oh my, another one? Well, I always put your sort there so definately Slytherin’? It saw that I’m queer? ...Wait... but I’m not... uh... damn you!” Draco floundered, realising what she had been doing, now much redder than ever. The hat had sent him to Slytherin because he was queer? But he wasn’t-
But haven’t you always hated the idea of settling down with Pansy or Astoria? Haven’t you secretly always wanted to marry a man rather than a woman? Didn’t your eyes stick to that handsome quidditch player whenever you watched one of his matches?
Weren’t you having this exact conversation with yourself less than an hour ago?
STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!
Draco blinked. He blinked again. Then, he buried his face in his hands and groaned. He had known it and just ignored it, knowing it didn’t matter as long as he was a Malfoy. He didn’t have a choice before! Now he had broken free from his family, was living with the Tonks, all because Harry had saved him.
Draco knew he wouldn’t be able to be openly gay, that was practically taboo, but at least he wouldn’t be forced into a loveless marragie with a woman he hates.
He had choices for once in his life.
All because of Harry.
Harry, with his kindness and selflessness and caring smile and warmth.
Harry, who draco had ruined everything with.
No. Draco told himself firmly. You will fix things with Harry. You will apologise, and say you were an idiot, and it will all be okay and you’ll hug and go back to being friends.
Draco was trying out this thing called optimism. So far, it was pretty good. It was stopping him from ripping his head off.
“Hehe. I really love forcing baby Slytherins to have identity crises. Its actually hilarious to watch, you know. You should see your face.” The girl was stifling laughter, and Draco found it so incredibly irritating. Here he was, having a kind of identity crisis, and she was laughing at him. Draco took his face out of his hands and shot her the most venomous glare he could muster. Unfortunately, that just served to make her laugh harder. Draco huffed and crossed his arms, face still burning in embarassment. He pointedly looked away from her, refusing to grace her with his attention. She was still laughing.
“Well, snakelet, I’m happy to be of service. My name’s Maria, what about you?” Draco balked at the nickname snakelet.
“My name is Draco. Please don’t ever call me snakelet again.” He said sternly, illiciting further giggles from Maria. Draco sighed and cursed what ever god(s) there were for making him deal with this person.
“I will absolutely call you snakelet again, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!” Maria said gleefully. Draco continued to glare at her.
“Whelp, I’ll be off. Your boyfriend will probably be back soon.” She stood up, and walked away, leaving Draco sitting on a couch, face flaming red with embarassment.
“Hang on- He’s not my boyfriend!”
* * * *
Draco sat in his chair for a long time, watching people move about around him. The common room was slowly emptying, people filtering out and heading to bed. It was getting quite late. Draco could feel his eyelids drooping, but he needed to fix things with Harry before he went to bed. Tomorrow was a sort of initiation day for Slytherin first years, Draco had heard. He didn’t know if the other houses did them, but he was thankful to Proffessor Snape for giving them one. Otherwise they wouldn’t know where anything was, and that would be horrible. Then they would have to ask for directions, something Draco simply wasn’t able to do. His throat would clog, and he would freeze up before he could even approach someone.
Draco was the only person in the common room now, everyone else had gone to bed. Had Harry gotten lost? Caught by a teacher and immediately sent packing? Several worst case scenarios were spinning around in Draco’s head, drowning out all rational thought until-
“Hi...”
Draco clearly hadn’t heard the wall opening, because Harry was standing behind his chair, looking apprehensive. Draco stood up swiftly and hugged him tightly, desparately hoping he wasn’t about to be punched in the face.
“I’m sorry- I should have said something, but I’m a fucking idiot and I didn’t know how to react! Please don’t hate me- but you have every right to- I’m sorry!” Draco blathered, words just tumbling out of his mouth before his brain signed off. He desperately wanted- needed to fix things, so he was just saying anything and everything that proabably wouldn’t actually do anything.
He had tried to come up with something to say, but he kept getting distracted, wallowing and whatnot.
“Draco, it’s okay-” Harry tried to cut in, but Draco didn’t let him. Instead, Draco released Harry from the hug and paced back and forth in front of him in a very distressed manner, flapping his hands at his sides as he tried to articulate what his was feeling.
“No! It’s not okay, you told me something important and I just- didn’t say anything! I didn’t know how to react, and you ran away and I couldn’t follow you out of the common room because I would certainly get lost, I have no sense of direction- so I just sat in the common room and -I’m sorry!” He finished, voice sad and pathetic. He sighed and lowered himself to the ground, pulling his legs up to his chest and resting his chin on his knees. Draco remembered his father telling him that you need to make eye contact with people when you’re telling them something, or else they think you’re lying to them. Hopefully Harry wouldn’t need eye contact from Draco to believe him, but Draco would certainly force himself to do it if necessary.
Thankfully, Harry didn’t seem to care all that much, because he just sat down next to Draco and stared straight ahead.
“Draco, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have run, either. I misread your facial expression, and I thought you were angry- you aren’t angry, are you?” Harry’s tone was tinted with worry and when Draco looked at him properly he noticed that his eyes were red-rimmed, like he’d been crying. Draco shook his head vehemently and grabbed Harry’s hand tightly.
“NO! Of course not! You’re my best friend, and it doesn’t matter if you’re- you know – I honestly just didn’t know how to react to you telling me!” Harry’s shoulders slumped, he looked very relieved.
“Thank you.” Harry shuffled over and sat down next to Draco, shoulders touching. They were quiet for a time, before Draco remembered what Maria had told him.
“Actually, turns out you were right to put it on the list! One of the older girls, Maria, told me that if the hat sees that someone is queer, he sends them to Slytherin along with the slimy gits and bigots. Though every house has it’s fair share of bigots.” Harry turned his head to look at Draco, one eyebrow raised.
“That’s what the hat was on about? Seems a bit stupid, to send all the queer kids to the house infamous for pigeonholing and over-the-top bigotry. Maybe the hat’s homophobic.” Harry barked a angry laugh. His face was twisted into a bitter smile. “Though, half the wizarding world is homophobic, so no surprise there. Maybe Salazar Slytherin was gay. I bet Dumbledore is, I mean have you seen his flambouyant robes? It doesn’t matter though, because he’s the all-good leader of the light. All hail the Gryffindor supreme and ignore the fact he’s obviously gay, if you’re famous enough it doesn’t matter if you’re queer!" Harry was ranting, the words coming out of his mouth were just a stream of thought. He had clearly forgotton he was talking to Draco.
It was strangely endearing.
Draco grinned as his friend continued to mutter angrily. The topic of his anger was very serious, but his face was so... cute?
Harry seemed to snap out of his muttering, snapping his head around to look straight at Draco. (but not into his eyes, he was surprisingly good at remembering not to make eye contact)
“Hang on- If the sorting hat sent me to Slytherin because I’m queer, what was he talking about when he sorted you? We thought it was the same thing, but unless you’re also queer...” Draco felt his cheeks heating up once again and he turned his head away from Harry, completely unsure of what to say. Should he deny it? Harry wouldn’t hold it against him, but Draco wasn’t sure of waht he was, so how could he-
“Um...” Draco tried stalling but he knew that Harry would certainly be able to see the reason for his hesitation. Why was he so awkward and afraid?
“Draco- are you queer too?” Harry asked abruptly. Draco felt all the blood leave his face. At least he wasn’t blushing anymore.
What was Draco supposed to say?
Harry certainly already knew the answer, it was obvious at this point but Draco wanted to say it.
He needed to say it.
It was symbolic, or something.
Draco took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He knew that it wouldn’t make any difference, and yet this may be one of the most difficult things he had done to date.
Not as bad as telling Severus he was being abused at home, but still quite difficult.
"Y-yes. Yes, I am queer. I d-don’t really know a name for what I am, but... I know I don’t want to marry a girl?” Draco forced out, tripping on his words more than he thought humanely possible. Harry’s warm smile was worth the effort though.
“Thank you for telling me that, Draco.” said Harry, and his voice was warm and familar and safe. Draco exhaled shakily and sagged against Harry, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.
“I didn’t even properly know I was queer until tonight. One of the older Slytherins gave me an identity crisis. And she had the audacity to laugh about it!” Draco huffed. He felt Harry shaking with supressed laughter and made a betrayed sound.
“Why do people find my identity crises amusing!?” He complained. Harry giggled unabashedly, only fueling Draco’s disgruntlement.
“It’s just kind of cute to watch, that’s all! Your face scrunches when you’re annoyed, it’s adorable,” Harry told him seriously.
Draco most definately did not feel all warm and fuzzy at the prospect of Harry thinking he’s cute, and he certainly wasn’t blushing when he abruptly stood up and dragged Harry to the dorms by his hand.
Anything anyone else has to say on the matter is a lie.
Draco Malfoy does not care if Harry Potter thinks he’s cute.
Draco Malfoy does not blush. (nevermind that he’d been doing it rather a lot that day)
Lying in bed that night, eyes open and mind running, Draco sighs contentedly. He cannot sleep, but he feels happy all the same.
Notes:
Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are always appreciated <3
Chapter 13: Howler
Notes:
Hello peoples! Pls hydrate!
This one is longer than usual, because I didn't really know how to split it. Sorry about any typos, I did edit but I'm only human. (as far as you know)
Also, I counted and it looks like this work will cap out at around 17 chapters, so I changed the chapter count. We're halfway through! I've got the rest pre-written, and I just started the first chapter of the second work in this series today. YIPPEE!!!
A few content warnings!
Lucius Malfoy's A+ parenting
Abelism (use of the word freak towards an autistic person (though they don't know their autistic yet it still counts probably))
Descriptions of a meltdown (this is kind of like how I experience them, idk about other people)
Negative self-talk (again, use of the word freak)
Dehydration
idk how to do content warnings tbh, if you want anything else added just say it in the comments
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry woke up at six o’clock.
He hated to wake up so early, but he needed at least fifteen minutes to figure out the spell he had asked Severus for last night. So, reluctantly, Harry dragged himself out of bed and slouched over to his wardrobe. He grabbed his wand from the bedside locker and pointed it at his awful jumper.
“Mollis” He flicked the wand sharply and a soft glow enveloped his jumper. Harry reached a hand out to see what it felt like to touch. He was pleasantly surprised to feel that is was now very soft, the scratchy texture completely replaced. Harry proceeded to charm all of his clothes. He grabbed the uniform he needed for today, now perfectly happy to put it on. He showered quickly, brushed his teeth, and was ready for the day by the time the rest of his dorm mates were stirring.
Drac o was still sleeping soundly and though Harry didn’t want to wake him, he knew Draco tended to take his time in the mornings and he needed to be up for breakfast. So with the air of someone approaching a sleeping Dragon, (Which technically, Draco was if you translated his name) Harry walked over to Draco’s bed and gently shook his shoulder.
“Draco? We have to go to breakfast at seven-thirty!” Harry said softly, not wanting to startle his sleeping friend.
Draco didn’t stir. Harry sighed, and shook his shoulder a bit harder. “Draco! Wake up!”
That did the trick. Perhaps too well, as Draco sat bolt upright and scrabbled for his wand. Harry held his hands up to show they were empty. He kept forgetting how twitchy Draco was.
“Hey! I’m not gonna hurt you!” He told a very groggy Draco. He rolled out of bed, yawning. He looked like he hadn’t gotten any significant amount of sleep. Harry wished he could still read Draco to sleep. Draco would never allow it, thinking he was a burden. It would also be really difficult to explain away Harry spending all that time in Draco’s bed.
“G’morning.” He grumbled, plodding over to his wardrobe and throwing it open. Harry drew his wand and went to stand next to Draco.
“Can I try something?” He asked. He received a very sleepy nod.
“Mollis”
He cast the spell on Draco’s uniform and stood back to allow Draco to take it out. Draco touched the fabric of his jumper, and gasped in shock.
“It’s soft!” He remarked, examining to jumper and smiling widely.
His smile is really beautiful, Harry thought as he watched Draco excitedly examine every item of clothing. He looked so happy , and once he had finished remarking over how wonderful the fabrics felt he turned to Harry.
“Thank you,” Draco said, offering Harry a grateful smile, “you didn’t have to do this.”
Harry scoffed, and waved a dismissive hand.
“Ah, s’nothing. I like the spell too, it’s really useful! I asked dad about it last night.” Draco shrugged, and gathered his uniform in his arms.
“Thank you nevertheless. Not everyone would bother to learn a spell to make someone else comfortable.” and with that, he turned and walked off to the showers, leaving Harry to wonder why human decency was so hard to come by.
***
The great hall was packed with students. There were people chatting and eating happily, anticipating their first day of lessons or, in the case of the Slytherin first years, some sort of induction day. Harry walked into the great hall and made his way over to the Slytherin table, but stopped when he noticed Draco hesitating. The room was very loud, hundreds of students and teachers all talking at once. Somewhere nearby, a fork scraped against a plate, and Draco flinched. Deciding that now was as good a time as any, Harry pulled back out his wand and cast the second spell he had asked his dad for last night.
“Sonus vesica,” Harry made a small circle in the air with his wand and immediately he and Draco were both enveloped in a peaceful bubble of silence. It was the same spell that Severus had used that day in Diagon Alley and Harry was glad to know it. Sound wasn’t such an issue for him as it was for Draco, but make a room loud enough and anyone will have problems having a conversation.
“What is this spell? Professor Snape used it before, but I still don’t know what it is.” Draco asked, looking around him as they sat down at the table. It was surreal, to know that people were talking around you but not being able to hear them in the slightest.
“It’s called a sound bubble spell, and the incantation is that but in Latin. Sonus vesica. You can adapt it to only block out some noises, or to let in voices, but that’s more complicated so I haven’t figured it out yet.” Harry explained, grabbing a piece of toast and biting into it. Draco looked impressed, and there was something else in his expression that Harry couldn’t read. Draco had been right when he said he had trouble expressing his feelings outwardly, because Harry was finding him very difficult to read. More difficult than most people, anyway.
“Thank you, again. You weren’t kidding when you said you wanted to make sure I was comfortable, huh.” He said with a bittersweet smile, staring off into the middle distance pensively.
Harry shook his head determinedly.
He was very serious about making Draco comfortable.
Draco looked conflicted, eyes betraying the sadness his face masked.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, concerned. Draco shrugged and turned his face away from Harry. “Draco...” Harry warned. He could feel Draco rolling his eyes, though he couldn’t actually see them.
“I just wonder sometimes what my life would have been like if my parents were more like you and the Tonks. A lot nicer, I’d say.” He admitted, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve.
Harry frowned, feeling an intense and dangerous anger burn through his chest. How had Draco’s parents been so horrible to him? Draco was a wonderful person, why couldn’t they see that?
How could you hate someone so obviously kind, empathetic and smart?
“Well, they can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe with the Tonks.” He said determinedly, just as the owl post arrived. Draco winced, and shook his head.
“I wouldn’t be so sure-” He sighed as a large eagle owl dropped a smoking red letter onto his plate. A howler. Harry somehow got even angrier, seeing the howler. Who did they think they were, abusing Draco for eleven years and then sending him a howler as soon as he broke free?
“The fuckers! And silencing spells don’t work on these things!” Harry growled, grinding his teeth. Draco looked suddenly scared at the reminder, his posture suddenly becoming tense.
“Put your hands over you ears Draco.” Harry advised. Draco looked over at him, wide-eyed, and shook his head.
“Everyone will look at me when it explodes-” He looked embarrassed, and he was going red. Harry cracked his knuckles menacingly, and surveyed the room.
“If they say anything, I’ll knock their teeth out. Howlers are crazy loud anyway, I’d say everyone sitting within ten meters of us will be covering their ears!” Draco nodded reluctantly and covered his ears slowly but not a moment too soon, because the red letter exploded with noise.
Like Harry had predicted, half the room covered their ears.
“DRACO ABRAXAS MALFOY! YOU DARE ABANDON YOUR MOTHER AND I? YOU INSOLENT, DISGUSTING LITTLE FREAK! RUNNING AWAY TO YOU ESTRANGED AUNT, CONSORTING WITH MUGGLES AND HALF BLOODS! WHAT DID WE RAISE YOU FOR YOU UNGRATEFUL, UNWORTHY BLOOD TRAITOR! YOU SEND A LETTER BACK THIS INSTANT WITH AN APOLOGY, OR THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!” The howler finished, and burnt up into a crisp, leaving a silent hall in it’s wake. Draco sat there, shell shocked, for approximately a minute before he stood up swiftly and fled the great hall, Harry quick on his tail.
~~~
Draco’s POV
Draco sat curled up in the furthest corner of the library, trying not to cry. He should have expected something like this, should of known they wouldn’t just let him leave, but that howler had been so loud, and Lucius had sounded so disappointed and angry. So incredibly angry.
A single tear trickled down Draco’s cheek and soon he was full on sobbing, soaking his robes in tears. So much had been happening in the past few weeks and the change was all too much. New house, no parents, new school, new friends. Nothing was the same, and it made Draco feel wrong and sad and happy and angry, and now everyone in the school would be asking him why.
Why had he left his parents?
Why had they been so angry?
Why did he bolt out of the hall?
Draco didn’t want to face the questions just yet, couldn’t face them yet, so he just stayed in the library, crying his eyes out and gripping his sides , nails digging in to the skin through his robes.
“Draco? It’s okay! Don’t worry, you’re safe, I’ve got you!” A familiar voice said. Draco registered strong arms wrapping around him and squeezing him tight. The pressure calmed him somewhat, grounding him, but he kept crying, completely unable to form coherent thought, let alone stop the tears.
Eventually, his sobs petered out, and he just lay, quivering and sniffling, in who he now registered to be Harry’s arms. Harry gently pried Draco’s hands off him and placed them gently in his lap.
“It’s going to be okay, Draco.” Harry promised, voice gentle. Draco hiccuped loudly and didn’t say anything. He couldn’t talk, didn’t feel physically able to communicate what he was feeling. Harry eventually let go of him, and sat him up against the wall.
“Do you want to go back to the great hall?” Draco shook his head quickly, not able to face the stares, whispers and questions. He wasn’t hungry anyway.
“Okay. We have about an hour before we have to go back, for the introduction day dad has planned. Do you think you’ll be able to go then?” Harry’s voice was quiet, but the question still made Draco’s head ache. Because really, he wasn’t going to be able for anything today, not without tiring himself out more, but what choice did he have? He knew from experience that pushing himself when he had had a hard week wasn’t a good idea at all, but he had to attend classes. Ideally, he would lie in bed and read the Tales of Beedle the Bard, something old and predictable, and stay there without any human interaction for at least five hours, but that wasn’t going to happen.
“It’s okay if you can’t, you know. Dad won’t mind, it’s expected for you to be tired, and exhausted. You’re holding up pretty well, all things considered.” Harry’s voice was so reassuring, and undeniably caring, that Draco just ended up in tears again. He didn’t understand why he was crying so much recently, but every little thing was being blown out of proportion by sheer exhaustion. Harry took his hand, and squeezed it gently.
I’m here, the gesture seemed to say. You don’t have to face this alone.
Draco was endlessly thankful that he hadn’t just been left alone to his own devices. Being alone only served to make everything worse. There was something comforting about just knowing that there was someone there, and it made everything more manageable.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry sat in the library, holding Draco in his arms for a very long time. He didn’t have a watch, or a clock, but he knew that they should definitely be heading back to the great hall.
He didn’t particularly care. He could explain it to Severus later and Draco clearly wasn’t currently able to go back into the busy school day.
“Hey, snakelet,” An unfamiliar voice startled Harry and he quickly let go of Draco, for fear of the gesture being misinterpreted as romantic. The person who had been talking was an older girl who Harry vaguely thought was a fellow Slytherin. She crouched down in front of them and addressed Draco, who was looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
“Are you okay?” her voice was very soft and she seemed to know Draco. Had she called him snakelet? Draco didn’t react to her but he did grab Harry’s hand, to his surprise. The girl smirked, looking down at their hands, and then between the two of them with a knowing look.
“This is Harry then, I take it?” Harry didn’t know how on Earth she knew his name, he certainly didn’t know hers. Draco still didn’t react so Harry decided to introduce himself properly.
“Yes, I’m Harry. What’s your name?” He asked her suspiciously, very aware of Draco’s hand in his. Did she think they were together?
“Oh, I’m Maria. I’m a second year here, in Slytherin. ” She told him, still smiling knowingly.
“How did you know my name?” She turned back to address Draco, who was studiously not looking up, tears dripping down his nose. He was curled into Harry’s side as he was wont to do when they were alone. Harry wasn’t about to deny him the physical contact he so clearly needed, but he was wary of the new person. She seemed unfazed though, so he decided she was safe.
“Snakelet here was having a conversation with his snake in Parselmouth yesterday evening, and I- hem -overheard. He was very worried he had upset you. I just- offered some advice. He was very ungrateful, too. He just pouted at me.” Harry snorted, because that was undeniably something that Draco would do, especially if someone told him something he didn’t want to hear.
“Is he okay?” Her voice took on that tone of concern, staring at Draco in a way that Harry knew Draco wouldn’t enjoy. He also didn’t know how to answer. How much of the truth was he allowed to disclose?
“He’s- it’s a lot, you know? It’s only been weeks since he escaped his parents, and now he’s here. Definitely tiring. Also, it’s a new school with new people, and he just got send a howler from his parents. He’s just a little... overwhelmed.”
Maria shrugged, and sat down in front of the pair, legs crossed. She grabbed her ankles and her lips quirked up in a mischievous smirk.
“So the two of you are together now?” She teased, taking Harry completely by surprise.
“What? No!” He said, a flush creeping up his neck for some reason. Why was he blushing? He shouldn’t be blushing.
“Uh-huh.” She raised an eyebrow. She didn’t believe him at all.
“I’m not lying! We’re only friends!” His voice was far too high-pitched and he cringed. Harry really wished that Draco was an active participant in this conversation. He wasn’t, so that left Harry to deal with convincing Maria he and Draco weren’t dating whilst holding hands with the boy in question.
“Okay, if you say so,” she said in a lilting voice that indicated she didn’t believe Harry in the slightest.
Or she just wanted to mess with them.
Given the teasing smirk on her face, Harry was fairly sure it was the latter.
“Don’t you have classes or something?” Harry huffed, turning his head to the side petulantly. He heard Maria chuckle.
“No, I’m supposed to be helping with the first year introductions. Professor Snape sent me to find you and make sure that you’re okay,” she explained.
Harry winced, wondering just how long he and Draco had been in here.
“I don’t think we can- go back yet,” Harry told her.
“Well, he did say I could give the two of you a ‘private tour’ so consider this the library section of the tour! The rest of your class should be here in about forty minutes, so in half an hour we can move to a different section of the castle. I’m really good at avoiding people, so I think we’ll be able to avoid interacting with any other humans for at least another two hours.” she said, gesturing around grandly.
“This library is very... libaryish. You can’t go in the restricted section without permission, cuz it’s dangerous. The librarian is nice, but she’ll kick you out if you’re disruptive. This is one of the corners. That is another corner. There are quite a few corners!” Maria said like these were great scientific discoveries.
After she finished talking about the library, which didn’t take long as she didn’t have much to say, Maria let them sit in silence that was interrupted only by Draco’s quiet sniffs and hiccups.
~~~
Draco’s POV
“And if we turn to the left, we will come across the least inhabited corridor in the entire school, that nobody goes to because it’s boring and dark. For some reason people are to lazy to use a lumos.” Maria monologued as she led them into a dusty, dark corridor.
Draco could absolutely see why nobody liked to go there. There were several misshapen lumps covered in sheets and the lack of lighting made everything look very eerie. Draco pulled back on Harry’s hand, shaking his head. He didn’t want to go in there, and though a tiny voice in the back of his mind was telling him not to act so childish, the fear spoke louder.
Harry looked to Draco where he was standing, feet rooted to the ground at the line where the light from the doorway ended.
“Do you not want to go in?” Draco shook his head quickly, pulling Harry back towards him.
“Okay, I don’t really want to go in either. It’s creepy, isn’t it?” Harry agreed. He called Maria to stop and she turned around. Draco held onto Harry’s hand tightly, feeling irrationally like he had to hold on. His mind was shouting at him, two clashing sides. Stop acting like a two-year old, one side shouted, while the other argued with you need this, it’s not safe, Harry makes it better.
Really, Draco wanted to be in bed under the covers, where he couldn’t hear anything and where nothing could hurt him. Harry and Maria were talking about something, but Draco didn’t join in, just listening carefully.
“What is it?” Maria asked.
“Draco doesn’t want to go down the corridor, and I’m not particularly keen either,” Harry explained. Draco cringed. He wasn’t normally this easily spooked, but right now every tiny thing felt huge.
“Why?” Maria turned to Draco, who shrunk under her gaze and shrugged. His voice wasn’t working, the words not forming on his lips. It was as if they were getting lost halfway from his brain to his vocal chords.
“O-kay?” Maria said, though confused. She led them back out the corridor and through the castle, pointing things out here and there. Draco was only half paying attention, he kept worrying that the next corner they turned would show people.
People who would see Draco in this state and the entire school would know by dinner. However, Maria was adept at avoiding any and all humans, and they didn’t run into any trouble.
“So, that concludes the tour, because all the other things I could show you would have people. I can give you a better introduction to the castle on Saturday, if you’re up to it?” She offered. Draco nodded gratefully, amazed at how accommodating she was being. Draco was starting to believe that his standards for ‘decent human being’ were quite low.
“Thanks Maria! So, are classes over for the day now, or do we figure out what class we would normally be at?” Harry asked and Draco’s stomach twisted with dread. He couldn’t go back to class, he just couldn’t. He didn’t have an explanation for why, but he felt like his energy was gone and he just needed to avoid all people. Except Harry.
“Well, the other first years are going back to classes, but Professor Snape told me to leave you in his quarters instead. Is that okay?” Maria looked at Draco questioningly. Draco nodded eagerly and put a smile on his face. Professor Snape was nice, he would just let Draco be. Maria pointed them to Severus’ quarters, and then left them be. Harry pulled Draco over to the couch in the living/kitchen area and they both sat down in comfortable silence. Draco closed his eyes and leaned against the arm of the couch, still refusing to let go of Harry’s hand. He didn’t think his muscles would let him if he tried, anyway. A tired yawn escaped his mouth, his thoughts a jumbled mess. He was in the limbo between waking and sleeping, completely out of energy but still conscious. Barely. He felt like social rules dictated that he should say something, do something, so as not to be sitting in absolute silence, but he didn’t really want to. Hopefully Harry wouldn’t take offense.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry sat on his father’s couch, holding Draco’s hand, in complete and utter silence. Usually he hated quiet of any kind, always trying to fill it with useless blabber. Over the summer, he and Draco had spent quite a bit of time just sitting in eachother’s company, and Harry was growing to enjoy the comfortable quiet that often settled between them. Harry chose to ignore the fact that he wasn’t this comfortable around anyone else he knew, deciding to stow it away in the ‘think about later’ part of his brain. Harry merely stayed sitting, playing with a loose thread on a cushion, thinking about everything and nothing at all.
After a long while, Harry felt a weight plop down on his shoulder and to his surprise, turned to see Draco’s head there. Shifting his weight around to make the whole thing more comfortable, Harry rested his own head on Draco’s and tried to quiet his heart’s beating. It was thundering in his ears, though he wouldn’t be able to explain why, because this was a perfectly normal thing for friends to do. Those weren’t butterflies in his stomach, he was just hungry from missing lunch and most of breakfast.
“Sorry,” Draco muttered, causing Harry to physically startle. Draco hadn’t spoken a word since the howler and his sudden apology of all things was not at all expected.
“Why?”
Harry heard a sigh, and Draco shifted slightly in his position.
“For keeping you from the induction day. It was selfish and stupid and I should have been able to do normal things like a normal human being,” he explained, looking very guilty and put-down on. Harry grunted and frowned, not liking the tone Draco was using to describe himself. “I was acting like a child, and I apologize for being...” Draco seemed to grapple with himself for a minute, before gesturing indistinctly around. Sensing that he was finished, Harry let go of his hand only to put an arm around him.
“Don’t apologize for taking care of yourself and your needs, Draco. You aren’t being selfish, or childish, or stupid just by taking care of yourself. I didn’t mind in the slightest missing the induction day, because I wanted to make sure you were okay. Your happiness is important, and you shouldn’t sacrifice it to appease others. If they ask for you do do that, then they don’t deserve your time,” Harry said in a firm, no-nonsense tone. He knew that these insecurities stemmed from years of abuse, but he needed to make it abundantly clear that having needs and being selfish were different things.
“I- but I wouldn’t want to be a burden,” Draco said. Harry rolled his eyes and scoffed, shaking his head.
“You aren’t going to be a burden just by being comfortable. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their home, it’s a right, not a burden. I don’t mind it if you don’t want to do things or go places because it makes you unhappy, as I don’t like the idea of you forcing yourself to do things you don’t like doing. You can be yourself around me, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. Otherwise, I’ll have to force it on you, and that would be all around more complicated.” Halfway through his speech, Harry noticed Draco’s lower lip wobbling. By the time he was finished, silent tears were streaming down Draco’s face as he tried to stay quiet.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Harry murmured, pulling Draco to his chest and rubbing soothing circles into his lower back. Draco’s frame was wracked with sobs, but he was still remarkably quiet. Probably used to being hurt for crying. Harry thought bitterly as he soothed his friend. No eleven year old needed this kind of burden on them, it wasn’t fair at all on him.
“It’s not!” Draco wailed, hands fisting in Harry’s shirt. “My parents h-hate me, and still I c-can’t help but love the-them! I feel so guilty for- for leaving, and now the wh-whole school knows, and all the Slytherins will ha-hate me and I deserve it because I’m just some kind of fucking freak.”
Harry tensed at his self deprecation, and hugged Draco to his chest tighter. He wasn’t going to let him think this way much longer, that’s for sure.
“No. You aren’t a freak, and I won’t hear a word otherwise. If anyone says anything like that, I’ll kill them. You are one of the best people I know, and I won’t have you thinking so little of yourself! You aren’t alone, Draco, you have Maria, Andromeda, Ted, Dora, my dad and I. We will all annihilate anyone that hurts you, because we care about you.” Harry stated, fighting back tears of his own. His heart felt like it was being snapped in two, looking at Draco now.
“I don’t deserve it, though. I haven’t done anything for you, and I still fucking love my asshole parents. You should have just left me with them, you stupid idiot,” Draco said between sobs. Harry was crying now, and he really hoped his dad wouldn’t return until they were at least a little less... messy.
“Of course you love them! They’re your parents, that love isn’t just going to go away. I know it hurts, so bad, and I wish I could take that pain away from you, but all I can do is tell you that it’s gonna get better. You deserve the world and more, and you’d better believe it!”
Harry wasn’t sure if Draco was laughing or crying, now. Maybe both?
“Harry, you’ve only known me f-for a month!” he was actually giggling, a stark contrast to how he was literally a second ago.
“I mean, yea... but I’ve gotten to know you really well in that month! It feels like I’ve known you forever!” Harry defended, though it didn’t seem to be doing everything. Draco had rolled out of his arms an was now in fits of laughter, clearly not getting in enough air. Harry watched concernedly as Draco half rolled, half fell off the couch, laughing almost maniacally.
“Are you okay?” asked Harry, concerned at how Draco was acting. Hadn’t be been crying literally a minute ago? He looked very pale, too. What was up with him?
“I do-hn’t know-ow!” Draco gasped between giggles, seemingly still crying? Harry floundered for a minute, having no idea what was wrong, before realizing something. Hadn’t Draco mentioned before that he sometimes started laughing and couldn’t stop when he was stressed? He had, on the train. Well, now Harry knew what was wrong but not how to fix it.
“Draco, can you try to breathe?” Harry asked cautiously. Draco started inhaling and exhaling sharply, far too fast to be safe. He wasn’t laughing anymore, once again just crying. The sudden mood swings were disconcerting to say the least. Harry dropped off the couch onto the the ground next to Draco and very carefully pulled him away from the edge of he table, lest he hit his head.
“Try holding your breath for a minute, then let it out really slowly. ” Harry instructed, thinking of the breathing exercises Severus had him doing when he was hyperventilating. Draco complied, eventually getting his breathing to a normal level. His tears had slowed down now.
He was dangerously pale. Harry was worried he may collapse.
“Draco? What’s wrong- you look ill! Is this normal?” Harry asked frantically, gripping Draco’s forearms to keep him from falling backward. Draco shook his head, eyelids drooping, his entire demeanor seriously worrying. Harry took a deep breath, and slowly stood up, still keeping Draco stable.
“Okay- okay. I’m going to take you to the hospital wing, okay? C’mon, it’s okay, you’re okay. Don’t you worry, you’re going to be okay, come on. Yes, that’s it.” Harry led Draco out of Severus’ quarters, supporting most of his weight. Where even was the hospital wing? Maria hadn’t included it on the ‘tour’. Harry decided the best place to start was to find his way out of the dungeons, and try to find a teacher.
Harry got several odd stares, but that was to be expected since he was half-carrying a semi unconscious pureblood. He didn’t meet any teachers until they reached the great hall, where he almost ran into Proffessor Quirrel, who was scurrying around nervously. When he saw the state Draco was in, he stuttered worriedly until Harry managed to convince him to show him the way to the hospital wing. It was a difficult thing, trying to help Draco up stairs and through the corridors. The hospital wing was very hard to get to from the great hall, which seemed idiotic in Harry’s opinion. They did eventually reach the hospital wing, but not before Harry was seriously questioning whoever had designed the castle.
He pushed open the the double doors (seriously? Not very practical), and called out for the nurse. He noticed Quirrell sneaking off, but he wasn’t needed anymore so Harry didn’t give it much thought.
“Oh goodness! What on earth has happened here!? He looks on the verge of death. It’s only his first full day, for goodness sake,” A very ruffled woman fussed over Draco, settling him on a bed and casting several diagnostic spells on him. When she saw the results, she tutted and shook her head in disbelief.
“He’s severely dehydrated! It’s as though he hasn’t drank in a day and a half, how on Earth did this happen? Didn’t you drink at breakfast and lunch?” Said the doctor, who Harry thought was called Madame Pomfrey.
“Urm- he didn’t have much breakfast, or any lunch. I don’t think he drank at breakfast, either.” Harry said regretfully, now realizing that he really should have forced Draco to eat or drink.
“Why on earth not! And he’s way to dehydrated for that to be all. Has he been doing sport?” Harry shook his head no. Madame Pomfrey eyed Draco carefully, seemingly taking in his quiet demeanor and damp cheeks.
“Crying?” Harry winced, and looked away. He didn’t want to affirm anything, but his lack of answer was enough for her. Her face softened, and she shot Draco a sympathetic look before summoning a glass of water and casting a charm over it.
“Drink up, lovey. ” She said coaxingly to Draco, who took a sip of the drink and cupped it in his hands. Madame Pomfrey turned back to Harry, leading him away from Draco’s earshot. Though Harry figured Draco would still be able to hear at least some of it, given how he seemed to hear everything.
“Why was he crying?” She got right down to business, and Harry could tell that he wouldn’t get away with a lie.
“He was sent a really nasty howler this morning,” Harry explained. She shot an alarmed look to Draco, who was still sitting with the glass in his hands. Harry could see the tremor in this shoulders, and he was jiggling his leg almost frantically.
“Goodness, why ever would his parents send that?” Harry sighed, and decided she could know at least some of the truth. She might be able to treat some of the injuries, old may they be. Harry knew Andromeda hadn’t been able to bring Draco to any magical hospital before she got legal guardianship, and that paperwork was still going through. However, Draco could receive treatment while at Hogwarts because they were his guardians as long as he was in the castle.
“His parents are Lucius and Narcissus Malfoy, and they were abusing him. He got out a few weeks ago, and they seem to be quite angry.” Madame Pomfrey gasped in shock, putting a hand over her mouth.
“Goodness, that poor boy! What did they do to him?” Harry bit his lip. He should probably tell her, but he didn’t want to betray Draco’s trust. Looking at Draco now though, Harry figured it he could do with a few potions.
“He has injuries on his shoulder and stomach and a muscle tremor. He has som scars on his arms, and probably has a few old broken bones.” Madame Pomfrey narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
“He has seen a medical professional, hasn’t he?” Harry opened his mouth, closed it again, opened it- and shook his head.
“Oh for goodness sake! Why in Merlin’s name not?” Madame Pomfrey shouted angrily, causing Draco on the bed to flinch violently, raising his hands to cover his ears. Forgetting about the glass of charmed water. The glass shattered on the floor, liquid pooling around the shards of broken glass. Draco jerked his legs up onto the bed, curled up tightly. He shrunk in on himself, shaking.
“Oh my, what on earth?” Madame Pomfrey continued shouting. Harry strode over to where Draco was and wrapped an arm around him. He flinched violently at the touch, but he relaxed into it when he realized who it was.
“Can you keep your voice down please Madame Pomfrey?” Harry asked. Draco was half in his lap, still curled in on himself.
“Oh yes, sorry lovie. I’ll clean this up. Now, Draco, you need to drink much more.” She said, summoning yet another glass of water. Draco took it, and downed it in one. She refilled it, making Draco drink two more glasses of water before leaving him be for a bit longer.
“Now lovie, I’m just going to cast a few spells-” Madame Pomfrey waved her wand over Draco, examining the results carefully before summing several potions and salves.
“Here you go. Drink these, and put the salve on any bruises that haven’t faded yet.” Draco didn’t move, so Harry took the potions. Madame Pomfrey shot them a strange look, but didn’t comment on their closeness. Harry felt his cheeks redden, but there was no reason for them to. Because this was a totally normal, platonic thing to do.
Totally.
“Come on Draco, just drink these and we can leave.” Harry said coaxingly, and Draco begrudgingly downed the potions. His face twisted in disgust and he shivered.
“Now, that salve should be applied twice daily, and I would like you to return in a week.” Madame Pomfrey ordered. Draco nodded wordlessly and stood up off the bed. He took Harry’s hand and pulled him out of the hospital wing, staying completely silent.
“Thank you Madame Pomfrey!” Harry called out, just as he left the threshold of the door.
Draco’s POV
Draco wanted to go back to his dorms, and sleep for hours. He also knew that he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep until at least past eight, and it wasn’t even dinner. He felt tired, but not in a way that would help him sleep. This tired was bone deep, making every movement an effort and every word a sigh.
“Draco, I need to go back to my dad’s quarters. He wanted to meet me, but...” Harry trailed off, and Draco changed direction of where he was dragging Harry. They were still holding hands, something that was making him feel flushed for some reason. What reasons? No reason.
“Are you okay?”
“No.” Draco said shortly. There was no use in lying. He had never seen the point in people pretending to be okay when they so obviously weren’t. It wsa a waste of energy, in his opinion. Was there some class he had missed about beating around the bush?
“Okay. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,”
Merlin, no. Draco didn’t want to be alone. Well, he did, but he didn’t. He wanted to be with Harry, and no-one else. He was too tired to think about it much, so he didn’t and just dragged Harry along with him, heading back down into the dungeons. He knocked sharply on Professor Snape’s door, and when he heard a harried come in, pulled Harry in.
“Harry! Where on Earth were you, you were supposed to wait here. What could you possibly have been doing?” Severus scolded, now scowling to mask the worry painted across his body language.
“We were in the hospital wing!” Harry argued. Severus raised an eyebrow, looking to Draco for confirmation. He nodded mutely.
“Why, Salazar tell me, where you in the hospital wing?” Harry was obviously flailing, not wanting to tell Severus Draco’s business without permission. Draco squeezed his hand and inclined his head, giving what he hoped was silent permission. Thankfully Harry seemed to get the message, so he launched into a long-winded explanation of what had happened. He wasn’t a great storyteller, backtracking and restarting again and agin. It was like a look into Harry’s extremely chaotic mind, and Draco found it strangely endearing.
“Okay,” Severus said finally, pinching the bridge of his nose and looking very done in. “Well Mr.Malfoy, I was going to ask if you were well, but you clearly aren’t, so I’ll instead ask if there is anything that would help you,”
Draco shrugged. In truth, the only thing he wanted was to sleep, and he couldn’t sleep properly without his stuffed fox, and he wasn’t about to tell his teacher that.
“You know, we could block your parents from sending you mail. We’re working to get them prosecuted for child abuse, so you could file with your head of house- me -to stop receiving their letters.” Severus explained. Draco bit his lip. He didn’t want to get a howler every day, but he also didn’t really want to cut off his parents.
But he didn’t want to ever see them again.
He needed this, so he could move on.
“Yes, please.” He said in a small voice. Harry beamed and squeezed his hand. Draco smiled. He wished he could go back to the manor, not to live there, but to collect the few things he actually wanted from there that he was missing. It wasn’t possible though, as he didn’t want to ask Severus. But he couldn’t well force Harry to help him sleep every night, and the only other thing was really that toy... it didn’t work as well, but Draco didn’t want to burden Harry with all of his problems. Steeling his nerves, Draco spoke in a quiet voice;
“Actually sir?” -Severus looked to him waiting for him to continue- “There is... one thing. I know you already went to the manor, but there’s one thing from there that I want- need. If you don’t want to, that’s fine but-” Draco said, rushing the last bit. He didn’t want to seem demanding.
“No, that’s fine. What things do you need?”
“Um...” Draco looked at HArry, who smiled encouragingly. He sighed, and told Severus the thing he needed.
“There’s this... toy, that I keep on my bed, under the covers. It’s a stuffed fox... ” Draco trailed off. Severus gave a curt nod.
“Alright! I’ll go get that as soon as possible. You can return to your dorm now, if you wish,” he dismissed them with a wave of his hand. Harry smiled at his father and pulled Draco out of the room and across the dungeons, smiling widely.
“See! I told you he wouldn’t mind!” Draco agreed quietly. He had been half expecting to have Severus laugh at him, but he had been completely indifferent.
“Ephemeral!” Harry said to the blank stretch of wall that was the Slytherin common room. The bricks pulled back, and Harry let go of Draco’s hand to walk in. Draco didn’t like letting go of his hand, but he certainly didn’t want to have the entire house think they were together. That wouldn’t end well.
Though, Draco thought, it isn’t so much the idea of being with Harry that is worrying, more the fact that you would be bullied dreadfully for it.
Now isn’t that thought confusing?
Draco pushed aside that thought, deciding that he didn’t need to think about this now or ever. He and Harry were friends, and that was it.
Totally.
Draco flopped down on his bed once he reached the dorms. Saturn hissed in protest when he jolted him, but still slithered onto his chest for warmth.
“Hello Draco. You look like death, are you dying?” Saturn hissed. Draco sighed melodramatically and threw an arm over his eyes.
“Yes! I almost collapsed from dehydration!” He wailed. Saturn twisted and coiled on his chest.
“Sssssilly of you. Ssssssshould have jusssssst drank water.” He scolded. Draco pouted and scowled.
“Oh my, why ever didn’t I think of that? Do you think I’m an idiot? I didn’t feel thirsty, I just almost collapsed!” If snakes could roll their eyes, Saturn would have.
“Okay, if you ssssssay sssssso.” Draco nodded, satisfied, and went back to pitying himself. He really was tired. He wanted to sleep. He hadn’t slept much last night, and it hadn’t helped he’d spent most of the day crying. It wasn’t even dinnertime yet, but maybe Draco could take a nap?
But he couldn’t sleep.
UGH.
“Hey guess what? Ted gave me a copy of The Lord Of The Rings! I’m gonna keep reading it now, do you mind me sitting here?” Harry hopped onto Draco’s bed next to him, propping himself up on the headboard. Draco gaped at him for a second. He was beginning to think that Harry could read his mind because seriously, what?
Harry started to read aloud, not even waiting for an answer. Draco listened to his soft voice, closing his eyes and curling up. He was still in uniform, but he was going to have to go to dinner later so he wasn’t bothered changing. The other boys weren’t there right now. Draco had seen Zabini in the common room talking with some of the older students, but he didn’t know where anyone else was. Usually, he would curl into Harry’s side, but he was scared of what the other boys would think.
He felt like a coward.
Fuck it.
Draco shuffled closer on the bed, half-sitting up and draping himself over Harry, who paused reading only for a second to adjust his position before returning to the book. Draco sighed contentedly and shut his eyes again, letting the gentle vibrations from Harry talking and the soothing sound of his voice lull him to sleep.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Once he was sure Draco was asleep, Harry stopped reading aloud. He only did it if there was someone to read to because otherwise he felt like he was talking to himself, which was just a bit odd. Nevermind he did it at home all the time.
However, Harry found reading silently rather difficult because he was distracted.
Said distraction came in the form of Draco Lucius Malfoy. Half in his lap.
Why was that distracting?
This is totally normal, Harry thought, you would be distracted if anyone was in your lap.
Yes. Literally anyone draping themselves across you would be distracting.
Thing is, Harry wouldn’t let anyone else get this touchy with him. Most people, he would be fine with a hug or something but anything like this and he would be politely asking them to give him some space.
He didn’t want Draco to give him space.
In fact, he rather wanted him closer.
“What the fuck brain?” Harry said out loud, not loud enough to wake Draco but loud enough for Saturn to sent him a reproachful look.
“Whatssss up with you?”
Harry sighed. No way was he telling Draco’s snake what was going through his mind right now. This was just his brain being weird, it didn’t mean anything, it would go away soon.
Notes:
HYDRATE OR DIEDRATE
I stole that from another fic that says that every few chapters, I thought it was funny.
So peoples, I wrote this meltdown as is accurate to my worse ones, but it's exaggerated because it's Harry's POV and meltdowns can be scary to watch. Also, I don't know if not talking when you're overwhelmed is selective muteism, but when I'm REALLY overwhelmed I only talk if its 100% necessary.
Have a nice day, random people from the internet!
Chapter 14: Troll
Notes:
Hello! I tried to edit this but I'm really tired and I had some technical difficulties with one of my other fics so I lost WEEKS OF WORK >:(
No trigger warnings I could think of, but feel free to tell me about anything you think should be mentioned!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Harry’s POV
It didn’t go away.
Over the next few weeks, Harry found himself drawn to Draco. He couldn’t keep his eyes off him, always checking to see if he was alright, if he was safe. In class he found it difficult to pay attention, because he was so distracted trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with him. He did his homework and completed all his assignments but his note-taking was lackluster. At least his grades weren’t dropping because otherwise Severus would want a word with him.
It was a good thing that potions was the only subject he could get completely immersed in, having an ability to hyper focus on whatever it was he was brewing, or his father would certainly notice that there was something going on with him. On Halloween though, Harry couldn’t focus even in potions. He had a terrible feeling that something bad was going to happen, and it was making him antsy.
“Next lesson, we’re going to be making the calming draught. It’s extremely useful for people who have panic attacks, but if brewed incorrectly it has the opposite affect. Tonight, read over the recipe for the potion so you can be prepared. Mr.Potter, are you listening in the slightest?” Harry jolted out of his thoughts at his name.
“Sorry dad,” he said absently. Some of his classmates snickered, and Severus pinched the bridge of his nose.
“We are in class, Mr.Potter. Please address me as Professor.”
“Right. Sorry, Professor,” Harry said sheepishly. Most of the class didn’t know that Severus actually was his dad, so this was unfortunately a little embarrassing. The topic moved on, and class was dismissed. After another few minutes of trying to figure out why Draco was taking up all of his brain space and living there, rent-free, Harry gave up.
He decided that maybe this was just normal, and that he should just ignore it. Is this what friendship is like? If so, it was terribly distracting.
When Professor Quirrell interrupted the feast, screaming about a troll, the first thing Harry did was look to see if the room was too loud for Draco. It definitely was, because everyone was screaming and it was too loud for Harry, so Draco was probably dying. He was right, Draco’s face was scrunched up in pain.
“Come one Draco, we have to follow the prefect,” Harry said, standing up and leading Draco over to the grumpy prefect who had shown them to the common room on the first day was, barking orders. The room was very loud. It was making Harry’s head hurt.
Draco looked on the brink of tears.
“Sonus vesica” Harry cast the spell around Draco, noting how his expression immediately relaxed. Harry stepped out of it himself so he could hear where he was meant to go. The troll was in the dungeons, so the Slytherins were to make their way over to the library and wait there until further notice. Harry stepped back into the spell and told Draco as much.
“Let’s go then!” Harry said, pushing through the throng of students to head towards the entrance hall. Draco trailed after him, avoiding physical contact with anyone where he could. The entrance hall was less packed, so Harry just followed the group of Slytherins heading to the library. He heard something from the Gryffindors, apparently one of the girls was crying in a bathroom, but the thing on the forefront of Harry’s mind right now was getting himself and Draco to safety.
The library was the loudest it had ever been. Made sense, since the entire Slytherin house in it. And no-one was respecting the quiet rule.
“Of course there’s a troll in the castle. They let in Mudbloods and blood traitors, this institution is going to hell,” Zabini drawled. Harry jumped, having not realised that he was so close to him. He was in the sound bubble spell, actually. When had that happened? Draco was shying away from him, looking uncomfortable.
“I bet it was that half-monster Hagrid who let it in, the big oaf. This castle is ridden with filth, I swear,” He continued on. Draco looked like he would rather be anywhere else. Harry certainly shared the sentiment.
“Hagrid’s nice!” Harry interjected, always quick to jump to the defense. Zabini shot him a distasteful look before turning to adress Draco..
“I wouldn’t have expected you of all people to fraternise with half-bloods. You don’t need to hang around him, you know. Imagine what your mother must think of you now?” Zabini spat. Harry saw when his words hit Draco, making him withdraw even further into himself. He was wearing a perfectly blank expression, but Harry could see through it. Tiny little shifts in his expression spoke volumes if you got to know him.
Right now Harry could see that he was holding back tears.
“You can shut the fuck up, Zabini. Just because you’re a bigoted, supremacist arsehole doesn’t mean Draco has to be one too,” Harry spat. He could feel rage simmering deep within him and if Zabini didn’t watch himself he was going to end up with a broken nose.
“Why should I listen to you? Mudblood mother and blood traitor father, you aren’t worth the dirt on my shoe,” Zabini hissed. Harry scowled, half considering hexing him when Draco joined the argument.
“You can shut your filthy mouth right now, or I swear to Merlin you will regret it. I don’t care what you think about me, but if you insult my friends I will do everything in my power to make you pay the price. I may have been practically disinherited from the Malfoy line but I still have friends in high places who can and will get you expelled at the drop of a hat. So watch your words, Blaise Zabini, or tomorrow’s prophet will have a front-page spread about your mother’s latest escapades!” Draco shouted, venom in his tone and fury in his eyes. Zabini actually looked scared.
Harry couldn’t blame him.
An angry Draco was a dangerous Draco.
“No fancy words now, huh? Nothing? Then you can fuck off.”
Zabini shot them both one last furious look before storming off to complain to Crabbe and Goyle, leaving an awestruck Harry and an angry Draco in his wake.
“Wow Draco, that was intense!” said Harry, a little breathless. He had never seen Draco properly angry, but that was not what he would have expected.
Harry’s chest tingled when he realised that this was Draco angry on Harry’s behalf.
“It’s not like I’m just letting him get away with insulting you like that! They weren’t even good insults, just him trying to figure out where it hurts,” Draco growled as he scowled deeply, clenching and unclenching his fists. It wasn’t like his usual fidgeting. No, this was furious.
“It’s okay Draco, insulting my blood is a seriously impersonal insult. Sure, I’m angry he used that slur, but I wouldn’t say I’m hurt, per se,” Harry soothed. It did nothing to calm Draco down. He looked like he was barely holding back from murder.
“I just- don’t like people talking to you like you’re nothing. He literally said you were worth nothing more than dirt, how can you not find it offensive?”
Harry considered his answer for a second, trying to figure out how best to articulate his feelings on the subject.
“I mean... of course I found it offensive. It was rude, and impolite, and he’s an utter asshole. But I’m not taking it personally. He doesn’t know me. Tomorrow, he’ll be using exactly the same insult on a different half-blood or muggle born. If he wants to hurt me, he’s going to have to get to know me, and I don’t intend to spend any time with him unless he stops being an arse,”
Draco deemed to consider this for a second before pulling Harry away to an out-of-sight corner of the library and hugging him tightly.
“You had better not let anyone talk to you like that. You are my best friend and my favourite person, and if other people don’t see you the way I do that’s their problem. If you need me to beat someone up just tell me, I’ll do it,” Draco instructed, letting Harry go.
Harry could feel a blush creeping up his cheeks and his heart was thundering in his ears. He quickly looked down at his feet to try and hide his flaming cheeks. Which was weird, because why would he be blushing?
“You’re too shy to beat anyone up,” Harry mumbled, voice half an octave higher than it should be.
“If it’s you I’m doing it for, I could beat up the entire house of Slytherin,” Draco said sincerely. Harry’s heart skipped a beat. He tried to laugh it off, but he was definitely bright red right now.
“Don’t beat up the entire house! If what possible situation would that be helpful?”
“You never know!” Draco insisted, “One day Harry, mark my words!”
Harry rolled his eyes. Draco couldn’t see it, but he did it anyway.
“If you say so Draco, If you say so,”
“Oh, I say so,” Draco said seriously. “I am always right, and this is no exception,”
Harry snorted. They were falling into a familiar routine of teasing, and he was not going to complain.
“Oh, you were so right when you thought that asking for help would make Andy hate you, or when you said that my dad would think you weak for finding it hard to sleep, or even when you insisted that dinosaurs must be dragons that had their wings removed...” Harry listed, ticking them off on his fingers.
“Oh, shush. ! What else was I supposed to think, I didn’t go to Muggle school and my tutor didn’t bother with archaeology!” Draco huffed, crossing his arms and puffing his cheeks out. He was adorable.
“Well if Draco said it, then of course we have to take his word as gospel. That’s right everybody, you heard it! Dinosaurs are Dragons that don't have wings! Draco said it and thus it is true!” Harry whisper shouted. Draco biffed him feebly on the shoulder, smiling even through his fake annoyance.
“Shut up!” He whinged. He was in a particularly good mood today, having slept well for the past few nights. Severus had given Harry the fox to give to Draco last week, and since then he had been able to sleep significantly better. Though, he seemed to still have difficulty turning off his brain so Harry kept reading to him under the guise of wanting to finish the book.
He was a complete liar, but he liked the way Draco curled into him when he was going to sleep.
Reading to him seemed to help, and the cuddly toy made him more comfortable. He looked so innocent and cute all cuddled up with the fox.
Why was Harry thinking about this?
“Wonder how the troll got in?” He blurted out, changing the subject to distract his brain.
“I don’t know... the wards wouldn’t let it in without internal help, so someone must have let it in. Someone with access to the wards, so not a student. Must have been a teacher? But why would they even do that...” Draco trailed off, biting his lip in concentration.
“It is weird... hopefully they deal with it soon and we can go to bed,” Harry sighed and flopped onto the floor. “I’m knackered.”
Draco sat down next to Harry and patted him consolingly on the shoulder.
“It won’t be long, and you can go sleep. Did you know muggles get a holiday around Halloween? A full week off! It’s called a ‘half-term’. Why don’t we have that?” Draco mused. Harry sank further down, now practically lying on the floor.
“I would kill for a week off right now,” he groaned. He and Draco were very close right now, and if Harry just adjusted his position a teensy bit his head would be in Draco’s lap. It wasn’t like anyone was watching...
Harry put his head in Draco’s lap, sighing and staring up at the ceiling. Draco started fiddling with Harry’s hair, twisting his black curls around his fingers.
“Well we have the Christmas holidays in a few months?” Draco offered. Harry groaned melodramatically.
“That’s ages away! What are you doing for Christmas by the way?” Harry asked. Draco bit his lip, looking insecure about whatever it was.
“Well... I suppose I’m staying with Andromeda and Ted? They invited me...”
“That’s great!” Harry told him. Draco still looked unsure though.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, trying to sound comforting and approachable. Draco hesitated for a minute but he relented.
“I just... don’t want to impose. Christmas is a family thing for muggles. Most purebloods don’t even celebrate it! I haven’t celebrated it before and I don’t want them to feel like they have to include me in their family traditions,” Draco explained. Harry reached up and cupped a hand on Draco’s cheek, smiling warmly.
“Draco, Andromeda loves Christmas, and she loves you too. You’re right, Christmas is a time for family. But Draco, you are her family! You are the only Black that doesn’t hate her. Why wouldn’t she want you around for Christmas? Dad and I spend Christmas day with the Tonks, you know? We have since I was five, because I wanted to know what Christmas was like and Dad, like you, hadn’t celebrated Christmas with his family. He wasn’t pureblood but his muggle father wasn’t... a good person. Andromeda invited us over, and we have spent every Christmas at her house since then.
“The more the merrier, she said. She likes to cook a huge dinner and feed as many people as possible. You don’t have to worry about intruding, because we all want you there. Me especially,” Harry finished talking to see Draco holding back tears. Harry sat up and hugged him.
“We all love you, Draco. Family is family, that’s the rule with the Tonks. There is nothing short of murder you can do to make them dislike you,”
Draco let out a choked sob, muffling it with his hand. Harry cast a muffliato around them. A dam broke and Draco was soon reduced into a sobbing mess. Harry sat up and hugged him, tracing circles against Draco’s back and running hand through his hair.
“I- just- no-one’s ever said something like that to me before,” Draco sobbed. Harry only hugged him tighter, suppressing the urge to march over to Malfoy manor and give Draco’s parents a piece of his mind.
It was an impulse he was getting accustomed to.
“I’m sure you’re going to hear it a lot more from now on. People care about you, you know? I will do my best to protect you from anything that might hurt you and I know that all of the Tonks family will too,” said Harry. Draco just cried harder.
Harry could tell that his words weren’t the only reason for Draco’s tears. He was clearly tired, emotionally and physically. The great hall had been far too noisy. This was all of that stress finding a way out.
“S-sorry. I cry on y-you way t-to much,” Draco said in a watery voice.
“I don’t care. You’ve been through shit, you’re allowed to cry,” Harry told him. Draco shrugged.
“I w-wasn’t allowed to cry before,” he whispered. Harry huffed, moving to sit next to Draco again and putting an arm around his shoulder.
“Well you can cry all you want now, I don’t mind in the least,”
Draco smiled weakly and leaned into Harry, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder.
“Thank you,”
“It’s no problem Draco.” Harry murmured, feeling himself nod off despite the uncomfortable position.
“No problem at all...”
~~~
Severus’ POV
Of course there was a troll in the school.
Why not?
To Severus, it was clearly a distraction, though no-one else seemed to have noticed. Everyone was too caught up in the chaos of it all to stop and think.
Someone is trying to get to the Philosopher’s stone.
Severus hurried through the corridors, chasing after Professor Quirrell while trying to keep out of sight. His robes billowed out behind him in his haste. The halls were empty, with all the students in their common rooms or the library.
Severus thought back over the evidence he had been compiling throughout the term.
Quirrell had been jumpy and acting guilty all year. He was an excellent actor, playing the roll of shy professor perfectly. He was cunning.
But Severus was observant.
It takes a spy to spot a spy.
Severus had noticed the times when Quirrell had thought no-one was watching, when his face twisted into a horrific smirk. The kind of smirk that Severus had only seen on murderers and death eaters.
Back in real time, Quirrell stopped outside the door to the corridor that was closed off. A quick Alohamora and he was in.
This security is appalling. A first year could get in and be killed by the challenges beyond. Severus sighed and shook his head, slipping in the door discretely. This was probably some part of one of Dumbledore’s crackpot plan.
“Holy-” Severus gaped at the cerberus that was snarling and snapping at him. What the fuck?
Is that Fluffy?
The three-headed monstrosity snarled and snapped, lunging forward. Quirrell was staring between Severus and the dog in abject fear. Severus took a step towards the man but he quickly snapped out of it and fled the room.
Severus swore. He tried to run after him, but the fucking dog sunk its teeth into his leg.
“Repulso!” He hollered, pointing the wand into one of the dog’s huge eyes. The dog whimpered and released him, leaving Severus free to rush out of the corridor and slam the door. He was about to cast the basic locking charm, since that was what had been on if before, but stopped.
If he was going to lock to door, he would to it properly. He cast complex wards around the door, weaving his magic around the lock and making the door practically impenetrable. Only someone with great magical experience or Severus himself would be able to open this door.
He didn’t want to risk reckless Gryffindors sneaking in for a dare and getting their heads bit off.
Quirrell was long gone by now and Severus’ leg was bleeding quite profusely, so he decided to go find Minerva and talk to Dumbledore tomorrow.
He heard shouts, screams and thumps from somewhere below him. He sighed. He was a teacher. It was his job to investigate and report these things.
The injury could wait.
He followed the sound to a girls bathroom. He pushed the door open and swept in to see Granger, Weasley and Longbottom standing over the body of an unconscious troll. They were all wearing very guilty expressions, but Severus was more focused on the fact that these children had fought a mountain troll.
“Professor!” Granger exclaimed, starting to blather some bogus excuse that Severus ignored. He bent down and poked the troll gingerly with his wand. It was out cold.
“How did you manage this?” He asked, voice coming out angrier than he intended. He winced at the children’s scared expressions. He had a bad enough reputation amongst the Gryffindor’s anyway, he didn’t need them hating him any more than they already did.
“I stuck my wand up his nose and Ron dropped his club on his head,” Longbottom said guiltily.
“And why were you even here?” Severus asked, biting back an insult to the stupid Gryffindor behaviour they were exhibiting.
“Saving me! I thought I could fight the troll myself, which was stupid I know, but they saved me!” Granger was clearly lying, it was written on her face. She was avoiding eye contact but Severus knew she always did that anyway. She was actually quite similar to Draco, from Severus’ observations.
They both avoided eye contact. They flinched at loud noises. They were never still.
Granger seemed to have better ways of coping with it all.
She looked so guilty now, it was honestly astonishing. Usually it was the Hufflepuffs who had all of their feelings written on their faces.
“You’re clearly lying.” He pointed out. Granger flushed pink.
“Wha-no!” She insisted. Severus raised an eyebrow, and she relented.
That eyebrow trick always worked. On Harry, on Draco, on every single one of Severus’ students.
“I was in here crying because Ron said something to Neville that upset me, and I didn’t know about the troll so they felt guilty and came to warn me, but they accidentally locked the troll in here with me and then they fought the troll,” She said quickly.
Severus shot a sharp glare at Weasley. The boy was actually quite rude, clearly he didn’t understand that what he said impacted other people’s emotions. Weasley cowered under Severus’ gaze, ducking his head.
“What did he say to you?”
Granger shook her head adamantly.
“I said that she was a nightmare, and that it was no wonder nobody deals with her,” Weasley mumbled. Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Detention, Mr.Weasley, for carelessness resulting in offending another student. The two of you should have told a teacher or prefect about Ms.Granger’s whereabouts before rushing off fecklessly. However, you did defeat a troll so I’m not taking any points.” Severus said. The children’s relieved expressions didn’t last long, as Minerva McGonagall appeared behind Severus looking infuriated. Severus smirked. At least now he wouldn’t be accused of bias against Gryffindor if their own head of house punished them harshly.
“Ah look, Minerva! I found the troll, and three of your students. If you wish to deal with them more harshly than I, be my guest, but I need to talk to Ms.Granger about something if you don’t mind?” Severus asked.
Minerva waved a hand dismissively, glaring at the two boys in front of her. Severus led Ms.Granger through the corridors to the library. He told the Slytherins to go back to their common room, as the troll was no longer in the dungeons. He eyed the students as they left the room, sighing long-sufferingly when he didn’t see his son leave with Draco.
Of course.
Severus turned to go to search the library. He noticed Ms.Granger trailing after him looking terrified.
Oops.
“You aren’t in trouble Ms.Granger, I just have something to talk with you about. Now come, I have to find someone before we talk,” Severus said in the kindest voice he could muster through the pain in his leg.
Granger nodded obediently and followed Severus through the stacks of books. She didn’t know what they were searching for but Severus knew she was far too scared of authority figures to question him.
When Severus did find the two boys, he shouldn’t have been surprised to find them sleeping. They were curled up together in the farthest corner of the library.
Severus knew this was where the older students went to fool around.
Of course Harry and Draco had decided to sleep here.
Severus crouched down with a heavy sigh and poked Harry with his wand until he woke with a start.
“Wha- oh hi dad! Did I fall asleep?” He asked. Severus nodded. Harry blinked blearily a few times before yawning and stretching out his free arm, accidentally whacking Severus on the face. Granger squeaked in shock, drawing attention to herself. Harry turned to blink at her instead. Severus saw the moment he realised who it was.
“Oh hi Hermione! How are you? Draco, wake up. Dracoooooooooooo! Draco!” Harry rambled and poked Draco’s cheek until he blinked awake, sitting up and yawning quietly.
“Hrrrngh...” Draco sighed. Then, he seemed to notice the other two people in his presence. He sat up straight as a ruler and attempted to fix his hair.
“Hello?” Draco said it like a question. He was clearly half asleep still. Oh well. Severus gestured for the children to follow him to the nearest table. Harry walked into three bookshelves, which must be some sort of record.
“Sit,” Severus gritted out through his teeth. He should really be in the hospital wing
The children sat, looking around as though expecting a sneak attack.
“Dad, your leg’s bleeding! A lot!” Harry exclaimed, jumping up and pointing at Severus’ destroyed robe. Severus sighed.
Oops.
This was why people generally didn’t keep Cerberus's in schools.
“I’ll go to the hospital wing after this. I just wanted to ask Ms.Granger some things.” Severus waved him off. Harry sat back down reluctantly, eyeing the wound.
“What did you want to ask me Proffessor?” Granger asked meekly. She was looking at him but her eyes were focused on his nose rather than his eyes.
“Firstly, I want to ask if a lot of people are rude to you like Mr.Weasley was. You are very bright, second in the year in potions. I’ve seen a lot of people looking annooyed when you answer questions, does that have something to do with it?”
Ms Granger nodded reluctantly.
“I know I’m a bit of a know-it-all, and I tend to be pedantic, but I don’t mean to. My tone of voice often seems a lot more condescending or angry than I mean it to, but I don’t mean to be rude!” She said in a rush. Severus watched Mr.Malfoy carefully, hoping to gauge his reaction.
“Well that’s no excuse for people to treat you badly. Ms.Granger, do you have trouble with loud noises?”
Granger looked shocked, but she nodded.
“Trouble reading people’s facial expressions, difficulty with scratchy fabrics?” Severus listed on his fingers. She nodded to each of his questions. Severus watched Draco’s face get slowly more surprised.
“Harry knows some spells that might be able to help you. They’re simple enough, I think you’ll be able to get the hang of them quickly. You three should meet tomorrow to discuss it, think of it as some kind of extra credit. I want you to find more spells that can help people in their day-to-day. I’m very interested in those kinds of spells but I’m quite busy at the moment.” Severus ordered.
The reactions from the three students varied. Draco just looked confused. Granger looked delighted. Harry looked suspicious. Severus knew that Harry probably knew exactly what he was up to.
“Now you three, go to bed. It’s late, and you still have class in the morning.” Severus shooed the students away. Granger and Draco nodded and stood up, but Harry lingered.
“Promise you’ll go to the hospital wing right away?” He asked, sounding anxious and so much younger than he was. He always got like this when he was worried about someone close to him. Severus put a comforting hand on his shoulder and stared him dead in the eyes.
“I promise I’ll get the cut taken care of. Now go to bed, Harry. It’s not a deep wound, I’ll be fine,” Severus reassured him. Harry nodded reluctantly but still looked nervous.
“Can we meet for dinner tomorrow?” Harry asked. Severus agreed easily and sent him on his way. He waited until they were out of sight before struggling to his feet and limping off to the hospital wing. He really shouldn’t have neglected that wound for so long, his pant leg was soaked in blood.
“Poppy?” He called out as he pushed open the door to the hospital wing. “Sorry to bother you but I require your assistance-”
Poppy popped out of her office, giving Severus a look up and down.
“What on earth happened to your leg?” She gasped. Severus sighed.
“You know about the Cerberus in the third floor?” He asked. Poppy shook her head and Severus sighed. Of course Dumbledore didn’t tell the nurse that they had a dangerous creature living inside the school. Severus briefly explained the whole philosopher’s stone thing. He asked Poppy not to tell anyone that he had told her about it. It was classified.
Poppy merely tutted and tended to the wound, grumbling about careless headmasters and creepy dark arts professors.
“There you go. Before you leave, I was meaning to speak to you about something that happened earlier in the year but I forgot until now. Do you have a minute?” Severus shrugged and followed her to her office to sit down.
“It’s about the Malfoy boy.” She said, clasping her hands on her desk.
“What about him?” Severus asked. She sighed and shook her head.
“The boy has clearly gone through a great deal of abuse. Your son said that he was no longer dealing with that, but he still had untreated injuries and clear trauma. He broke a glass and immediately retracted into himself, as though expecting to be assaulted. Mr.Potter comforted him, and told me to quiet my voice, and then they left. Mr.Malfoy came back when I told him to for a check up, but he brought Mr.Potter and stuck to his side like glue. I was asked to turn off the lights, be quiet and not make any sudden movements,” she said. Severus was surprised that Draco had actually asked for accommodations to be made, he didn’t seem to like asking for things.
Harry was probably the one who actually asked.
Severus carefully considered what to say. He didn’t want to give away anything private. He technically wasn’t supposed to talk about this but Dumbledore didn’t care.
“Draco’s a very quiet boy. He’s easily upset. He seems to be coping well, he had friends that help him if there is something that is upsetting him. I’m close with his guardians, I’ll talk to them about it, but I don’t really think there’s anything to worry about,” Severus said confidently. Poppy looked unsure but she glanced at the clock and her eyes widened in shock.
“Okay then. You’d best be off to bed. You have to go heal your leg and you have work tomorrow,” She said sternly. Severus agreed happily. He left the hospital wing and made his way over to his quarters.
He barely had time to change out of his bloodied robes before he was dead to the world.
Notes:
Comments make my day <3
Chapter 15: Autism?
Summary:
Draco makes some new friends and learns some stuff.
Notes:
Hello peoples. Hope you are all doing well on this fine today.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco’s POV
Draco woke up early for once. He sat up, stretched and yawned. It was quite early because no-one else was up yet. Draco climbed out of bed and hit his teddy under his pillow. He had a feeling that Zabini would tease endlessly if he found out Draco slept with a teddy, and Draco also just didn’t want the other boys to know how weird he was.
Everyone else was still asleep with hangings drawn around their beds. Harry had forgotten to close his and Draco could see him sprawled on his bed, half covered by the sheets and drooling. Draco chuckled at the mess that was his best friend. He wondered how someone so prim and organised as Severus Snape could raise such a disaster.
Thinking of Severus, Draco was reminded of last night’s interaction. He was quite excited to talk to Hermione today. It really seemed that she was like him, and he really wanted to ask her about it.
He was nervous, but he knew Harry would be there so it wouldn’t be too bad. He wondered what kinds of spells they could find that could help him.
Draco set about quietly getting ready for his day, trying his best not to wake anyone. He was fully dressed when he heard something. A quiet sniffling, from behind the curtains around Theodore’s bed. Was he... crying? It sounded like he was crying.
Draco wavered back and forth between pretending he hadn’t noticed and comforting his classmate. He didn’t really know Theodore, so he wasn’t sure if there was anything he could do. Draco was bad at comforting people he knew, how was he supposed to comfort someone he had barely ever talked to?
Thing was, Draco knew what it was like to cry alone, feeling like there was nobody in the world who cared. Draco sighed and per-emtively cast a muffliato around the bed.
“Theodore, I’m opening the curtain. Please be wearing clothes,” Draco announced, hearing a surprised squeak from the bed. Draco gave it a minute before slipping between the gap in the curtains and sitting cross-legged in front of a very pitiful looking Theodore. He was scrubbing at his eyes furiously, clearly trying to pretend he hadn’t been crying.
“Why are you crying?” Draco asked, cutting straight to the point. Theodore glared at him, but Draco didn’t meet his eyes. Hopefully he wouldn’t think it was rude.
“I’m not crying!” He insisted angrily. Draco raised an eyebrow (something he had seen Severus do and practiced in front of a mirror for hours until he perfected it) and put on his ‘we both know you’re lying’ face.
“It’s none of your business,” Theodore grumbled. That was probably true. Draco didn’t really know what he was doing, so he tried to channel Harry. What would he do in this situation?
“I know it isn’t, but I might be able to help? I promise I won’t tell anyone, if you don’t want me to. I cast a muffliato around the bed, by the way. It isn’t nice to be by yourself when you’re upset, believe me I know. I’ve spent a lot of time crying, and only in the past few months have I realised it’s a lot better when you have someone comforting you,” said Draco kindly. Was that oversharing? Probably. It seemed to work though, because Theodore was crying quietly again.
“I can’t tell you what it is. It’s wrong, the way I’m feeling, you’ll be disgusted by it, and you’ll tell everyone and then my life will be over!” Theodore cried. Draco considered his words. It sounded awfully like Theodore was... is that even possible? What were the chances?
“Theodore...” -Draco didn’t miss the way Theo winced at the use of his name- “Are you queer or something like that?”
Theodore scrambled away from Draco, hitting the headboard of his bed. He shook his head vigorously, almost desperately.
“No! Why would you think that, of course not. I can’t be, it’s not allowed- I mean it’s wrong and dirty and-” Draco frowned at the comments on it being dirty. Maybe he had been wrong about Theodore, but...
Theo’s panic was less like someone angry at an incorrect accusation and more like someone who was scared at being found out.
Draco understood the feeling.
“I wouldn’t be angry if you were, and I wouldn’t tell anyone. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, personally,” Draco reassured him. Theodore bit his lower lip and relaxed his posture a little.
“Promise?” He said meekly, the panic and worry still visible behind his eyes.
“I swear on my life,” Draco told him, putting a hand on his heart. Theodore cautiously scooted back closer to Draco on the bed.
“Okay... I am queer, but not in the way you think.” He started but didn’t say anything more. Thinking he was waiting for a reaction, Draco nodded in what he hoped was an encouraging manner. Theodore took a deep breath.
“I have only told one person this before. My name isn’t Theodore, and I’m not actually a boy. Okay, well I am physically, but in my mind I’m a girl...”
Draco nodded slowly, consciously making an effort to not look angry. He didn’t want a repeat of last time. He didn’t fully understand what he-she had told him, but he got the jist of it.
“Okay... What is your name then?” Draco asked. Draco needed something to refer to her in his head, otherwise he was going to get very confused. Theodore- well, not Theodore but also yes- was staring at Draco like he’d grown a second head. Clearly he-she’d thought Draco would be angry, despite his promises.
“Uh... well I’ve been going by Camila, but only when I’m with someone I’ve told. Which is literally just you and Daphne, so...” Camila trailed off, leaving Draco to rewrite his limited memories with her with the new name and pronouns.
“Okay. That’s a beautiful name, I see why you chose it.”
Camila smiled, her face lighting up. She looked so happy to have someone accept this about her.
“Thank you!”
Draco smiled at her, mind running a mile a minute.
“When you say Daphne, do you mean Daphne Greengrass?” He asked. Camila smiled and nodded happily, no longer on the brink of tears.
“She’s really nice, my best friend actually. I told her when we where like eight, she’s been really cool about it.”
Draco was surprised. He didn’t know Daphne very well, but the few times he had met her she had acted like the perfect little pureblood spawn. Though he supposed he had too.
“I don’t know her particularly well, but we’ve met. She was actually one of two candidates for me to marry, would you know,” Draco sighed. “Pity I wasn’t interested in the slightest. No offense to Daphne of course...”
Camila frowned.
“She never mentioned it,” She sounded a bit hurt. Draco quickly backtracked, covering up his oversight.
“She probably didn’t know! Pureblood traditions are very misoginistic as you’d know, it wouldn’t be that uncommon for a girl not to be told these sorts of things. No chance of us being forced to marry now though, so that’s good I suppose.”
“Is it true then?” Camila asked curiously, “You’ve been disinherited?”
Draco sighed.
“Not yet, but I will be soon no doubt.”
Camila patted him consolingly on the shoulder.
“It’s okay. At least now you don’t have to marry Daphne. Though, I don’t think I would mind too much personally...” she said, before realising what she had just said and flushing pink.
“Suggest it to your parents. The Greengrasses will be looking for a new candidate, now I’m out of the picture,” Draco told her. She visibly lit up at the possibility, and Draco stifled a laugh.
“You like her,” He observed. Camila’s cheeks darkened further.
“Wha- no! I mean- NO! Why would you thinking that-” she blustered. Draco looked at her sideways.
“Fine.” She conceded. “I may have a teensy-weensy crush on her. But it doesn’t mean anything! I’m only eleven and so is she so it’s not like anything is gonna happen,” she grumbled, still bright red. Draco chuckled at her clear embarrassment.
“I think Daphne, you, Harry and I should have a conversation together soon. I have a feeling we’ll all find some things in common,” Draco suggested. Camila looked worried.
“Are you sure about your friend? He seems nice, but what if... I mean, it was already a huge risk telling you this...” she worried.
“Don’t worry about him, he won’t mind in the least.” Draco said casually.
“How can you be sure?” Camila asked worriedly.
“I-” Draco started, but the words caught in his throat. If it was this hard to tell people he knew were queer, what would it be like telling people he knew weren’t? He probably wouldn’t be able to. Draco’s body filled with dread when he even considered telling Andromeda or Ted. You can’t tell them. If it goes wrong, you will have nothing and no-one.
“We’ve talked about it,” Draco mumbled finally. “There’s a reason I wasn’t interedsted in Daphne. I’m only eleven, but I know I don’t want to marry... Don’t want to marry a girl.” Draco forced out. Camila smiled reassuringly and put a hand on Draco’s knee. He instinctively flinched away, noting the hurt look on her face. Oops.
“S-sorry. I just... don’t like most people touching me. I kind of only feel comfortable with Harry touching me, and sometimes my aunt and uncle, so don’t take it personally,” Draco told her. She nodded understandingly. Then a sly smile spread across her face.
“Oh, it’s only Harry then is it? It’s only the person you’ve told you’re queer you like touching you, I wonder why?” she teased. Draco flushed red. What was she implying? It wasn’t like he liked Harry. Well sure he liked him, but not like, like liked him.
“He’s my best friend! He got me out of an abusive household, and he supports me through many of my problems!” Draco defended, decidedly not thinking about what it would mean if he had a crush on Harry.
“Okay, okay....” Camila said, clearly not believing him. Draco sighed and sunk his face into his hands.
“Anyway, I think you can tell Harry. He’s good at keeping secrets, I promise!”
Camila considered it for a second before agreeing. Draco smiled widely at her before hopping out of her bed to see Harry just emerging from the bathroom, looking confused but smiling when he saw Draco.
“Hey Draco! What were you doing in Theodore’s bed?” He asked, looking a bit confused.
“I’ll tell you later,” Draco waved him off. “Come on, we have to go find Hermione!”
Draco dragged an amused Harry out of the dorm and through the corridors to the Great Hall, hoping to catch Hermione early. The earlier excitement to speak to her was back and Draco was walking so fast Filch shouted at him for running.
When they entered the Great Hall, barely anyone was there. Which made sense, because it was six thirty in the morning. However, Hermione was there, sat at the Gryffindor table and reading a book. The table was sparsely populated, the only other people at it were a group of older students who were sitting quite far away from Hermione.
“Good morning!” Harry said as he sat down in front of Hermione. She jumped and looked up from her book, smiling confusedly when she saw that there were two Slytherins at the Gryffindor table. They were getting a few strange looks. Draco shied away from them, but Harry seemed completely unfazed.
“Good morning,” Hermione replied. “Are you here to talk about our assignment from Proffessor Snape?”
“Oh that? I mean, I suppose, but that’s just Dad conspiring for us to become friends. He isn’t very subtle,” Harry laughed. Hermione looked confused.
“Is he really your father then? I thought I had heard you wrong yesterday,” she said.
“Hmm? Oh, yea! He’s not my biological father, but he adopted me when I was a baby. My parents were both killed by The Dark Lord.” Harry told her. Hermione gasped and clapped a hand over her mouth.
“Oh no! I’m so sorry that happened to you!” Harry waved her off.
“Oh, it’s okay. I don’t remember my parents, so It’s not really a big deal for me? I love my dad, I wouldn’t wish for anything else. Oh, that sounds bad- obviously I’m not happy they died, people dying is always bad, but I’m really happy with my dad!” Harry finished, looking quite frazzled. Hermione nodded understandingly.
“I’m muggle-born. Both my parents are dentists. That’s like a healer, but only for teeth,” she told them. Draco found it fascinating that muggles had all different types of healer, or as Ted called them ‘doctors’. He supposed it made sense, because it was far more complicated to heal things without magic and one person couldn’t remember all the ‘science’ behind all the different types of ‘medicine’.
“That’s so cool! I bet you have really good teeth!” Harry told her. Hermione beamed, looking delighted to have someone interested in what she was saying. Draco knew that Harry had that effect on people.
“What do your parents do Draco?” Hermione asked. Draco flinched. Harry opened his mouth to talk, but Draco put a hand on his arm.
“I don’t live with my parents anymore, but they don’t really work? My father talks to important people and pretends to be a nice person and my mother looks nice on his arm.”
Hermione gasped.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have assumed-”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know. Um, by the way, I was wondering, you don’t have to answer but I was just wondering...” Draco trailed off, not really sure how to word this bit.
“what is it?” Hermione asked. “It’s okay, I won’t be mad!”
“Okay. Um- you know what Professor Snape was talking about last night, with the whole loud noises, eye contact scratchy fabric stuff?”
Hermione nodded hesitantly. Draco didn’t really know if what he was about to ask was offensive, but he asked anyway.
“What is it? Like, why are you like that? Merlin, that sounds rude- I don’t mean it like a bad thing, I swear-” said Draco in a rush. Hermione held up a hand to stop his blathering.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind answering! I’m autistic! That's why I don’t like a lot of those things and I have trouble reading people in social situations. Its a neurological developmental disorder, but I kind of think of it like my brain being wired differently. Like, when I was born I had a different model of brain that sees and experiences the world differently.”
Huh.
Draco was fairly sure that there was a teensy, tiny, huge massive whopping chance that he was autistic.
“How do you know if you have it?” he asked, a bit dazedly.
“I got assessed. My parents paid someone to ask me a bunch of questions. It’s a muggle diagnosis, but witches and wizards can have it too.” She explained.
“Is there a way to make it easier?” Draco asked, hope filling his chest.
“Well, there’s no cure, but there are a lot of techniques to make it more manageable. Once you know the things that can trigger you, you can find ways to avoid them. There are things that can help me calm down when I’m stressed or having a meltdown, things like that.”
“Meltdown?” Draco asked.
“Oh, that’s like... if I get really stressed, like if I’ve been somewhere really loud or had to deal with something that makes me upset and overwhelmed, and it gets all too much for my brain. I’ll start crying or screaming, or sometimes laughing, which is strange, and I can’t really stop. Sometimes people think I;m having a tantrum, because when something in my plan or routine changes I might have a meltdown and it looks like I’m just trying to get what I want.”
Draco kind of felt like everything was clicking into place.
Oh, that’s why I do that.
So that’s why...
Memories swirled around in Draco’s brain, reshaping and changing to fit this new perspective.
“Oh.” he said. “A lot of things make a lot more sense now”
Harry smiled proudly. Hermione looked pleased to be able to help. Once Draco had recovered from the new information, he went on to drill Hermione on anything and everything. He learned that the constant fidgeting he did when he was stressed was called ‘stimming’. He learned that feeling completely dead after too much socialising was something called ‘burnout’ and that he had definitely been experiencing it the past few weeks. He learned that what happened on the train was him getting ‘overwhelmed’ and having some sort of ‘shutdown’.
By the time the conversation was over, Draco was simultaneously less and more confused than ever, and completely worn out.
He still had a full day of school.
Yippee.
“Well, we should probably go back to our table now, right Draco?” Harry asked. Draco nodded thankfully. He liked Hermione, but he really was tired of talking now. Draco found that everyone except Harry tended to wear him out just by talking. It was faster if he didn’t know the person very well, but the better he got to know someone the less draining it was to be around them.
“This is so cool!!!” Harry exclaimed as they walked to the Slytherin table, practically buzzing with excitement. “Now you know what it is! You know, Ted probably knows about this, and he might be able to help you find ‘coping mechanisms’!” Draco agreed wearily, plopping down at the table and reaching for a piece of toast.
“You’re already tired, aren’t you,” Harry stated. He phrased it like a question, but he clearly knew the answer. Draco answered anyway.
“Yes. We’ve got class too...” Draco sighed. “and then we have that research with Hermione, and I need to talk to Camila later...”
“Who’s Camila?” Harry asked, and Draco realised his blunder.
“Umm... I’ll tell you later. ” Harry nodded confusedly, but thankfully didn’t push. Draco took a bite of his toast and stayed quiet for the rest of the meal.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Draco was acting a bit strange. His tiredness, Harry understood. But who was this Camila he refused to tell Harry about? Harry couldn’t ignore the twinge of jealousy he felt when he thought about it. He and Draco had spent most of their time together since the start of school, so Harry couldn’t think of many instances where Draco would have been able to get to know a girl called Camila without sneaking out of the dorms at night.
Was he sneaking out of the dorms?
Harry was working himself up over nothing. Draco had said he’d tell Harry about this later, and Harry trusted that he would.
Still though, Harry was preoccupied throughout the first half of the day. He tried to pay attention in class, but Draco kept having to prod him to pay attention. In potions, HArry almost put in a whole sophophorus bean instead of just the juice! Severus had noticed and given him a concerned look. Harry knew he would he asked about this at dinner later.
It wasn’t until lunchtime that Harry finally found out who Camila was.
“C’mon, let’s go to the library,” Draco suggested. Harry followed him to the back of the library, and was surprised to see Theodore Nott sitting next to one of the Slytherin girls in their year. Was she Camila? No... he thought her name was something like Danielle... or Delphine?
“Hello!” Harry chirped, sitting down across from the pair. Draco cast a muffliato around them, making Harry even more confused. What was going on?
“Hi” said Theodore shortly. He was looking a little ill, actually. Harry squinted at him, concerned.
I need to update my glasses prescription.
“Are you okay? You’re looking a little ill,” Harry asked him.
“I- um... yes, I’m fine, just a little nervous...” he trailed off, looking down at his hands. The girl put a hand on his elbow and smiled at him reassuringly. She glanced at Draco.
“And you’re sure we can trust him?” she asked. Draco nodded. “You don’t look too sure. Why aren’t you looking at me?” She asked. Draco stiffened.
“I- don’t like eye contact,” he admitted. She nodded slowly, and turned her attention to Harry.
“I’m Daphne. You’d better not hurt my best friend, or I’ll gut you. Same goes for Draco,” she said menacingly. Harry put his hands up in a placating gesture. He had no idea what had brought this on.
“I have no intention of hurting anyone!” he said quickly. Then he looked at Draco. “well... unless you hurt my best friend, then I have every intention of hurting you,”
Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head, but Harry could see the smile twitching at his lips.
“Fair enough!” Daphne said chirpily, smiling widely. She held out a hand for Harry to shake. “Nice to meet you, Harry Potter.”
“Likewise,” Harry said, grasping her hand and shaking it firmly. She turned her attention back to Theodore, who was now very pale. He had said he was nervous? What about? Was he going to throw up? Harry hoped not, he hated people being sick.
“You don’t have to tell him, you know. You barely know eachother, it’s not like you’re besties or whatever,” Daphne told Theodore. Harry turned to Draco. Tell me what? He mouthed. You’ll see. Draco mouthed back. Harry shrugged, still entirely lost in this conversation.
“I want to tell him, Daph. I’m tired of having nobody except you know. It’s an important part of me, and though I have to keep it a secret from most of the world I don’t want to have no-one know either.”
Harry was even more lost now.
“Okay. If he betrays you, I’ll kill him six times over,” Daphne shot Harry a menacing glare.
Harry wasn’t sure if he liked her.
“Okay. Phew. This is hard. Harry, my name isn’t Theodore, and I’m not a boy.” Theodore said resolutely. Harry was completely gobsmacked. What? He didn’t understand in the slightest.
“Uuuuh... okay?” he said. Daphne facepalmed.
“You have to explain more than that, doofus. He’s completely baffled!”
“Ummm... okay. Well, physically I’m a boy and my given name is Theodore, but in my mind I’m a girl. I chose a different name, Camila, but only you, Daphne and Draco know any of this and if you tell anyone Daph will flay you alive,” Theo-Camila explained. Harry nodded slowly.
“O-kay... thank you for telling me. I won’t tell anyone. Please don’t flay me?” he thanked/promised/pleaded. Daphne looked unsure but Camila grinned.
Wait.
This was Camila.
Everything made more sense now.
So Draco wasn’t sneaking out in the middle of the night!
Harry smiled happily, glad that his best friend wasn’t keeping huge secrets from him.
“Hmmm.... No promises!” Daphne shot Harry another innocent smile, and it shook him to his core. This girl was terrifying, and Harry was going to have to watch his step around her.
“Seriously though, thank you for telling me! I get that its not really an easy thing to say to someone, especially if you don’t know them very well. Although I suppose it’s harder to tell someone who you’ve known for ages, too. The fear of losing them...” Harry shuddered. Camila looked at him like she had a question she didn’t know how to ask. Harry was used to that expression by now, Draco was always making it.
“You look like you want to ask me something?” Harry prompted. Camila looked a little shifty.
“It’s a bit of a random question?”
“Hit me. I won’t be mad, I ask loads of weird questions,” Harry reassured her.
“Are you queer?”
Harry blinked. Well, he hadn’t expected that. Didn’t she already know?
“You didn’t tell them?” Harry asked Draco, who looked scandalised.
“What! No! That’s not for me to tell!” he said. Harry supposed he wouldn’t have told people Draco’s sexuality without asking first, so it made sense.
“So how did they know I wouldn’t go off and tell the whole school?”
“Because I said you knew I was queer and didn’t mind!” Draco exclaimed. Harry felt a grin spread across his face.
“You told them!? Wow Draco, that’s great!!!” Harry jumped on Draco and hugged him tightly. Draco laughed and tried to push him off half-heartedly.
“It’s not a big deal!” Draco insisted, but Harry wasn’t having that!
“It is too a big deal!” Harry insisted and poked Draco until he conceded.
“Okay! Fine! Yay, let’s all celebrate, a huge number of four know my sexuality!” He said, deadpan.
“Well that’s more than me! Maria figured it out herself. I only told you, and then immediately broke down in tears and ran away!” Harry sighed. “Then of course I ran into my dad and when he asked what was wrong I just cried more and refused to tell him, like a coward,”
Camila and Daphne were watching the exchange with expressions of amusement. Harry realised that he hadn’t answered Camila’s question, so he turned back to the conversation, though he was now in Draco’s lap.
When had that happened?
“In case you didn’t gather from that conversation, yes I am some sort of queer... yes. I don’t really have a label for it, but I’ve known I wasn’t straight from the moment I learned what it meant,” Harry explained. Camila and Daphne were looking at him all weird, and he couldn’t quite figure out why.
“What?” He asked. Camila stifled a giggle.
“You’re quite literally in Draco’s lap,” she laughed. Harry could feel his cheeks heating up, and he could see Draco blushing a pretty pink.
Pretty?
“We aren’t together!” Harry squeaked. Squeaked! They were only eleven! Far too young to be in a committed relationship, in Harry’s opinion. The thought of being in a romantic relationship with Draco made him feel strangely fluttery though.
.... what!?!
Harry shook himself out of his traitorous thoughts and joined Draco in convincing Daphne and Camila that they weren’t together. Why did people keep assuming that?
Sure, they were more touchy with each other than most boys their age, but that didn’t mean anything! They were young!
Of course, that was when Maria decided to make her entrance.
“Ooh, are we teasing Harry and Draco! Count me in!” she sat on the table and kicked her legs, immediately joining in with vigor. Harry groaned and gave up, hiding his face in Draco’s shoulder. He knew he wasn’t exactly helping the allegations, but...
comfy.
Notes:
I don't know what education about autism was like when this is set, but it's probably worse than now? I'm not putting that much thought into what era it is to be honest. I will just write the terminology I prefer to use. If it is different to your experiences or opinions, then please don't get annoyed with me.
Thanks for reading!
Chapter 16: Meltdown
Chapter Text
Draco’s POV
Autumn turned to winter. The castle froze over, and the last few leaves on trees gave up the ghost and flew away in the bitter wind. Saturn took to hiding in Draco’s sleeve for warmth, which definitey took some getting used to but it wasn’t too bad as long as he didn’t brush against anything. If (when) he did, Saturn would hiss at him and constrict his wrist.
Draco’s life was going great. He had a group of friends who liked him for who he was, he had a name for the reason he was different, he had Harry and he didn’t have to worry about his parents anymore.
Because, several weeks after the troll incident, Draco got a letter from Andromeda celebrating winning the custody case against his parents. Draco got a restraining order against the, so they couldn’t go anywhere near him unless they wanted the wrath of the Tonks’ lawyers. They couldn’t send him mail, they couldn’t approach him, they couldn’t touch him at all.
They received a court order to send all of Draco’s things to Andromeda’s house. He didn’t really want most of it, but it was nice to have his books and clothes.
Andromeda said that they had begun the process of legally adopting Draco. She said that it would only happen if Draco wanted it, but that she and Ted would love to officially welcome him into their family.
When Draco read that part, he broke down in tears. Thankfully he was in his dorm, with only Harry and Camila there. Harry wrapped an arm around him and calmed him down while Camila ran and fetched an owl and parchment. With Harry’s encouragement, Draco wrote back to say that there was nothing he would like more than to be adopted by her and Ted.
After that, the months leading up to Christmas passed in a whirl. Draco became firm friends with Daphne, Camila, Maria and Hermione. They didn’t tell Hermione about the whole... queer thing yet, but that hasn’t raised an issue so far.
Hermione left to go celebrate something called ‘Hannukkah’ with her parents a few days before the official Christmas holidays started.
Harry and Draco were going home, but Camila, Daphne and Maria were set to stay at the castle. Draco felt a bit bad leaving them, but his nervousness and anxiety over returning (home?) outweighed his guilt.
“Come on Draco, we’re going to miss the train!” Harry shouted from the doorway of the dorm room. Draco was doing last minute packing, because he had procrastinated until the the morning of.
“Sorry, sorry!” Draco yelped, clicking his trunk shut and dragging it to where Harry was standing impatiently at the door. Draco didn’t understand why people even got to Hogwarts by train. The floo was a thing.
Though... most muggle households weren’t connected to the floo network so the muggleborn’s wouldn’t be able to get to school that way.
That was probably why, actually.
“Come on! I can practically hear my dad sighing in disappointment!”
Harry set off climbing the stairs. Draco struggled with the trunk for maybe eight steps before he remembered magic, duh. He cast a feather light charm on the trunk and then he was actually able to keep up with his best friend. They reached the common room, where Draco was immediately accosted by the three girls. He tried to hurry through his goodbyes, promising to send gifts and to ‘not die without permission’. He let them keep him for a few more minutes, but then he had to bid them farewell.
“Okay I really have to go now before Harry kills me!”
Draco waved to his friends before quickly chasing after Harry.
Harry, who was already halfway out of the wall.
Professor Snape was indeed annoyed when they burst into his office. They were only maybe six minutes behind the scheduled time, but he berated them like they had kept him waiting for hours.
“Now come on, we have to go!” he instructed. Harry and Draco followed him through the halls, walking briskly and trying not to get whacked in the face by his billowing robe.
“Dad, did you spell your robes to billow out after you?” Harry asked after the third time he had to spit out a mouthful of fabric. Severus didn’t answer, but he looked rather sheepish so Draco took that as a yes. Harry dissolved into a fit of giggles that Draco couldn’t help join in on. Severus sighed dramatically and hurried them on.
They made it to the train in the nick of time and jumped on just before the ear-piercing whistle that gave Draco exactly the same reaction as last time. Unfortunately, the embarrassing whimper didn’t go unnoticed by Severus, who looked at Draco like he was a puzzle to solve.
“Dad, how do you handle your head of house duties while you’re on holiday?” Harry asked curiously. Severus grinned, quickly distracted. Draco didn’t know if Harry had distracted him on purpose or not, but either way he was grateful.
“I don’t. Legally, I have to be allowed a holiday. Dumbledore usually ignores that and a lot of teachers end up working on their holidays, which is the reason Hogwarts can stay open for students who do not wish to go home. I threatened to sue the old coot if he didn’t let me take the weeks off so he had to find a replacement,” Severus grinned evilly. Draco couldn’t help but smile back. He wasn’t all to fond of the headmaster. Dumbledore was very biased against Slytherins, and he seemed to hate Draco for some unknown reason. Harry once tried to report Ronald Weasley for calling Draco Death Eater scum, and Dumbledore had told him there must be some sort of misunderstanding. Two weeks later, Harry got three detentions for calling Ronald a git and shoving him after he hexed Draco and tried to kick him in the shins, shouting about Neo-Death Eaters and lying pretty boys.
Ronald got five points from Gryffindor for using magic in the halls.
Draco had been fuming about it before Harry came back from his first detention, laughing his socks off because Professor Flitwick was in charge of the detention and told him that he didn’t really see the need to punish him for defending his friend.
Draco rather liked Professor Flitwick.
“Draco, do you want to go Christmas shopping together tomorrow?” Harry asked. Draco nodded happily, kicking his legs out in front of him.
“Cool!” Harry replied. They chatted a bit, then fell into a comfortable silence. Severus was reading a book on alchemy, Harry was staring out the window, and Draco was looking at Harry’s smile.
It was a very nice smile. He could brighten a room with his toothy grin, his sparkling green eyes.
The whole thing was rather beautiful.
Draco usually hated looking at people’s eyes, but he found himself staring at Harry’s more and more often as of late. Harry didn’t seem to notice, and if he did, he didn’t comment on it. Draco tore his own eyes away now, deciding that he should probably stop staring at his best friend.
Why was he staring, anyway?
Draco quickly distracted himself. He thought of a book he had read the other day, about different breeds of snake. He had found it very interesting. He felt his favourite species so far was maybe the Eastern Hognose, because they looked cute and tended to act quite stupid. Apparrently they liked to play dead, but that sometimes they were a little over-dramatic about it, flopping around and sticking their tongues out like a kid pretending to be too ill to go to school.
Draco found himself completely lost in thinking about different breeds of snake. Maybe starting a tier list, or a ranking of some sort. If so, right now the Hognose was at the top. Should he include magical breeds? They were still snakes... what about basilisks? Draco found them extremely cool. If it weren’t for the whole petrification thing, he would love to see one. Perhaps if blindfolded it first?
Before he knew it, the train was already pulling up at platform nine-and-three-quarters. He literally just thought about snakes for hours. Not exactly unprecedented. Was this what Hermione called ‘hyper fixation’?
“Draco! Oh, it’s so nice to see you dear! How is school? Are you making friends? What’s your favourite subject?”
“Hello Draco, It’s good to see you. I hope things are going well at school?”
Andromeda and Ted both bombarded Draco with questions as soon as he stepped off the train. He wasn’t really able to process what they were saying, so he just nodded and tried to block out the noisy platform.
Harry noticed the problem and within a minute minute Draco was being led through the barrier to the muggle side of the station. Of course, it was even louder there. Draco couldn’t help but block his ears and squeeze his eyes shut tight. He vauguely registered Harry leading him out of the station and to the busy street, but he didn’t open his eyes and he just went where Harry lead him.
It was only once he was sitting in Ted and Andromeda’s minivan with the doors all closed that he dropped his hands and opened his eyes. It was just him and Harry in the car; it seemed like the others were still inside. Draco realised guiltily that they probably had to bring out his luggage.
“You okay?” Harry asked, voice soft. Draco nodded mutely. He felt a little embarrassed that he hadn’t been able to cope with the noisy station, but he mostly felt a sick. Since it was Christmas, everyone was more loud and the muggle station was at least seventy percent busier.
“It was very loud today, wasn’t it?” Harry asked. Draco nodded again. They lapsed into companionable silence until Dora entered the car and filled it with her loud chatter. Draco flinched away and cowered into the tiny space between the car door and his seat. He was going to miss the sound bubble spell now he wasn’t allowed use magic. At least nowhere at the Tonks house was as loud as the great hall.
Harry, once again, noticed Draco’s discomfort. He pressed in closer and took Draco’s hand. Draco squeezed it gently and closed his eyes.
Draco didn’t like the car.
It was bumpy and loud and cramped and the smoke that came out of it made Draco’s sinuses sting.
When the car pulled up in Andromeda and Ted’s driveway, Draco jumped out as quickly as was allowed. He almost fell over, little unsteady. Harry grabbed his bicep to steady him but Draco wrenched himself away, panic clouding his mind.
For a minute, he was back at the manor and Lucius was pulling him around by his arm with a forceful grip, tight enough to bruise.
Draco blinked and he was back in the driveway. Harry was staring at him at him looking confused and a little hurt.
“S-sorry,” he stuttered, “I just don’t like being grabbed there.”
Harry’s expression cleared and he smiled softly.
“Okay Draco. I’ll make sure not to grab you there again. Sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
Draco smiled back and took Harry’s hand. The two of them headed into the house together, not noticing the knowing looks and smiles from the adults behind them.
***
Draco sat down at the kitchen table and let Ted pile his plate high. He said he was still worryingly thin, so Draco dutifully ate the delicious food and answered all of the questions he was being bombarded with. Andromeda was thrilled to learn he was making friends, Ted was happy that was doing well in class, and Dora said she wanted to meet Maria after Draco recounted a something she had done the previous week. Harry was asked questions too, which he dutifully answered with a bright smile on his face.
Draco could feel his own smile grow as he watched his friend. Harry was so happy here, surrounded by people he considered family. His excitement was infectious. Draco soon forgot all of his worries and insecurities and lost himself in conversation, chatting and laughing.
This is what home feels like.
Draco looked around the room, soaking in everything. He had never been so comfortable to be himself in a space before. These people, he loved them.
Draco would do anything to keep this feeling forever.
When Harry turned to look at Draco and they locked eyes, Draco felt no discomfort.
It was in that moment that Draco first noticed that he was falling.
Just, he didn’t know what he was falling into, or how deep.
Harry’s POV
Harry loved Christmas. He loved the crisp cold of a winter morning. He loved the smell of gingerbread. He loved the chai tea that Andromeda made every Christmas eve. He loved giving gifts and seeing people’s reactions to them. He loved spending hours choosing said gifts, scouring shop after shop for the things he felt would make his loved ones the happiest.
He loved Christmas shopping even more with Draco there. They were in Diagon Alley, looking around the bookshop. They had gone early in the morning, and as far away from actual Christmas day as they could manage so as to avoid as much of the last-minute shopping as possible. Draco had already picked out at least eight books he wanted, bounding around the store with a bright smile and happy eyes. Harry watched him with a warm feeling in his chest, happy to see his friend so excited.
He would have been happy to buy the books for Draco, but it turned out he had his own private vault his parents couldn’t access, with enough money for six lifetimes. Draco said he had asked his father for his own vault to manage as practice for when he was of age and inherited the full extent of the Malfoy wealth, which was apparently far more than Lucius let on to the general public. Harry was pleased to know that Lucius didn’t have the power to take away the wealth stored in the vault, as Draco had secretly asked his account manager to make sure it was all his.
It felt good to know that Draco wouldn’t have money problems, and that he wouldn’t feel guilty about buying things like books.
So many books.
Harry learned that Draco could natter on about snakes for hours, and his library reflected that. He somehow had an entire shelf dedicated to Hognose snakes, which were apparently his favourite breed. Saturn had been very offended when he learned this, and Draco had to spend half an hour trying to explain that Hognose snakes were his favourite type of snake, but that Saturn was hands-down his favourite snake.
“Harry look!” Draco squealed, shoving a book in Harry’s face. He squinted to read the title, which reminded him to tell Severus that he really needed to get his eyes checked. The book was about basilisks. Draco had it open on a particular page, that said it was rumored that Salazar Slytherin’s fabled monster was actually a basilisk, that lived in the legendary chamber of secrets. Harry actually found that rather interesting, but he severely hoped that Draco wouldn’t go and attempt to find the basilisk. If he died in a smelly chamber, Harry would not be happy.
“Wow cool! It makes sense, since Slytherin was a parselmouth!” Harry exclaimed. Draco was bouncing up and down on his heels, face lit up in a childlike joy.
“I know! And look, I found a whole book on Hognose snakes, it says...” Draco started spitting out a bunch of new facts he had learned, while Harry studied his face, unknowingly smiling in an awfully goofy fashion.
Over in the potions section, Severus shot his son a fond look before going back to picking through the books.
***
Harry had gifts picked for everyone except Draco. He wanted to get him something great for his first Christmas without his parents, and nothing in Diagon Alley made the cut. That was why Harry decided to ask Ted to take take him out in Muggle London to find something.
Ted didn’t seem to mind. He happily drove Harry to a huge building full of all kinds of shops. There were gigantic Christmas baubles hanging from the ceiling, and Harry couldn’t help but gasp in wonder at the decorations. Ted chuckled and pulled him into a muggle craft shop, where Harry spent far too much money and didn’t even buy Draco a present.
He wanted to take up crochet, because it seemed really cool and practical.
Next they went to a clothes shop, where Harry bought a bunch of small things and some really comfy ‘hoodies’, but nothing that Harry felt made the cut for Draco’s first Christmas.
Then, Ted took him to a muggle toy shop, and he saw it. Harry quickly purchased the item, ignoring Ted’s confused look. This was perfect. Harry knew that Draco would love it, so he didn’t really care that it cost quite a bit of money. Harry had been saving up for ages anyway, it wasn’t like he could spend money while at Hogwarts.
“Harry, how are you going to hide this from him? It’s so bulky,” Ted remarked. Harry lugged his many bags to the minivan and turned to look up at Ted.
“Do you think you could drop me home before we go to yours? Just so I can hide this? Pleeeeeeeeeease???” Harry pleaded and batted his eyelashes, ducked his head and stuck out his bottom lip. Ted sighed and relented, and Harry thanked him profusely. It wasn’t that far a drive to Spinner’s End, so they were pulling up at the house in no time. Harry quickly hopped out of the car and raced into the house, swung past the bannister and pounded up the stairs. He pushed open the door to his small bedroom and quickly stowed away the gift in his small closet.
(the closet was rather empty as Harry didn’t go in there much. He wasn’t a fan of small, cramped spaces, and a closet was basically the definition of a small, cramped space)
Harry thundered down the stairs, ignoring his dad’s calls to slow down Harry, you’re going to crack your skull open! and burst back outside to re-enter Ted’s car. Ted put the car into drive, and they sat in relative silence for the short drive back to Draco’s house.
Harry became increasingly antsy as they got closer to their destination. There was something about the ambient magic in the air. It had an edge of fear, barely noticeable but somehow glaringly obvious to Harry.
It was a familiar fear somehow.
Ted parked the car, and Harry immediately hopped out. At this point, he had identified what it was about the magic in the air. It was Draco’s magic, and it was lashing out. Harry slammed open the door and rushed to the kitchen, Ted shouting after him and following after in confusion. Harry didn’t stop.
He could hear crying.
Loud, gasping, desperate sobs.
Harry rounded the corner and took in the scene that was unfolding. Andromeda was standing in the middle of the room. Dora was shouting something and trying to approach the corner of the room where Draco sat, curled up on the floor.
Draco.
He was kneeling on the tiled floor, hands shaking in a distressed manner. He was crying, almost screaming with how loud it was. Fat tears streamed down his cheeks, which were red and blotchy.
His magic was swirling around, lashing out and whenever someone got near. Harry rushed over to Andromeda, trying not to cry himself. He didn’t like seeing people so distressed, especially not Draco.
“What happened?” Harry asked frantically, “Is he okay?”
Andromeda shook her head, looking scared and confused.
“I don’t know! Dora came in, shouting about something or other, and he just started crying! When we tried to approach him, he just cried harder and then his magic started lashing out! Has this happened before?” said Andromeda in a rush.
Harry didn’t answer. His mind was running a mile a minute. Draco had been quite stressed lately, and any little noise would make him visibly flinch. School was very busy, and it was definitely taking a lot out of him. Harry could tell he was trying not to break down in front of the other boys (and Camila) in their dorm. There wasn’t really anywhere truly private in the castle that they knew of other than abandoned classrooms.
This was probably a buildup of stress and exhaustion from the past few months.
“Right!” Harry snapped, trying to be as quiet as possible while still being audible (can you even snap quietly? Harry managed it). “Dora, stop talking and move back,” Harry instructed, all seriousness. Dora looked reluctant, so Harry shot her a glare. This wasn’t a time to be nice.
“Andromeda, turn off the radio and the lights, and close the door,” Andromeda nodded and did as he said. The room was quiet now, bar Draco’s wailing. Harry quickly told Ted, Andromeda and Dora to stay back, and then cautiously approached Draco, hands up in the air to show they were empty.
“Hey Draco! I see you aren’t feeling too great? That’s okay, you don’t have to be fine all the time. You’re crying very loudly though, do you think you could try breathing in and out? In, out... that’s it!” Harry said , lowering his volume so that he could be heard, but not too loud. Draco took in great, gasping breaths. He was still crying, but his magic wasn’t trying to attack Harry so that was a bonus. Harry got to about a metre away from him and sat down on the tiles, hands still open and visible.
“You’re okay now, Draco. Nothing and no-one here is going to hurt you, and nobody is angry. Keep on breathing in and out, you can do it!” Harry tried to keep a bright smile on his face, warm and welcoming. He didn’t want Draco to think he was angry with him.
Eventually, Draco calmed down to quiet gasps and sniffles. His hands were no longer flapping, rather wiping tears off his face.
Said tears were still falling, making his eyes red and face blotchy.
“Do you want me to hug you?” Harry asked gently. Draco nodded, so Harry moved closed and pulled him to his chest, squeezing around his shoulders. Draco’s hands fisted in his shirt as he shook with aborted sobs. Harry just held him tight. After a few seconds, he adjusted his arms so he was squeezing Draco’s waist. He didn’t say anything, because he didn’t have anything to say. He just held his best friend in his arms as he calmed down. After an amount of time, god knows how long, Andromeda cautiously approached the pair.
“Thank you Harry, for calming him down. Do you know what happened?” She asked. Draco recoiled from the sound of her voice, his ears still sensitive. He and Hermione had told Harry that when they were overstimulated, it was like every sense was heightened. Harry shushed her sternly.
“Keep your voice down. I think he was stressed and Dora shouting set him off, but this has probably been building up for awhile. School is very busy and stressful for him,” Harry whispered. Andromeda didn’t look like she understood.
“Draco and I can explain later, right now we just have to be quiet,” Harry promised. Andromeda shrugged and went to sit at the table. Harry stayed on the floor with Draco, humming softly and gently applying pressure to Draco’s sides, as he once said that tended to help him when he needed to be grounded. Eventually, Draco sat up and pulled away. Harry dropped his arms, watching as Draco stood up shakily and left the room. Harry let him go, thinking he probably needed a minute alone.
“Come sit Harry, you’ll hurt yourself sitting on the floor,” Andromeda told him. Harry hauled himself up and sank into one of the kitchen chairs. He exhaled slowly, feeling all the tension leave his body. He hoped Draco was okay.
“You know, Dora and I couldn’t get anywhere near him. His magic was completely out of control, lashing out like we were a threat. But when you came, you could walk right up to him to calm him down. He let you hug him. Dora and I were trying to calm him down for at least ten minutes before you got here, and you calmed him down in a matter of moments. He barely lets me touch him at the best of times, but he seeks your touch out. Why do you think that is?” Andromeda asked as she stared Harry down with a searching gaze. Harry looked away, not enjoying the intense stare. He felt like if he kept looking into her eyes, all his secrets would be laid bare for her to see.
He had too many secrets for that to happen, and only half of them were his own.
“It’s not the first time this has happened, but the other times his magic wasn’t so violent. He’s told me how to help, and I learned more by asking one of our friends. I think that it doesn’t really happen as much at school, I can see that he bottles it up. He’s more comfortable here, in being himself. All of the pent-up stress and worry gets triggered by the tiniest thing, and he melts down,” Harry explained. Hopefully Draco didn’t mind. This was a very abbreviated version of what Hermione had told them. Draco seemed to know a lot of that already, to some extent, since he experienced it, but Harry absorbed the information eagerly. He wanted to know how to help his friend when he needed it.
“Why? What kinds of things at school stress him so much that he has a reaction like that as soon as he gets home?” Andromeda asked worriedly. “Is he being bullied?”
“A lot of things at school are stressful ‘Dromeda. I get stressed too, but I react to stress differently than he does. Dome of the boys in our year are foul to us, but it’s nothing too bad. It’s mostly just house prejudice. Draco just has a lot going on at the moment, you know?” said Harry. He wanted to finish this conversation and go check on Draco, but he also knew that he should leave Draco alone for a little while longer.
“Okay?” Andromeda looked like she wanted Harry to elaborate further, but he didn’t want to tell her anything Draco wouldn’t want her to know. They lapsed into an awkward silence, one that Harry rather wanted to escape. He waited another ten minutes, then stood up to go check on his friend.
~~~
Draco’s POV
Draco was curled up in the hammock swing in his room when Harry entered cautiously. He shut the door softly and approached the corner of the room where Draco was rocking himself gently.
“Hi,” Harry whispered. Draco appreciated that he was keeping his voice low.
“Hi,” Draco responded, voice tired and scratchy from crying. Harry smiled at him. The room felt that bit brighter.
“I know you aren’t feeling great, and I can leave if you want. I just wanted to check up on you,” said Harry. Draco liked knowing that he cared enough to check on him.
“Don’t worry about it. I’ve just been tired and stressed lately, you know?”
“Andromeda was very worried.”
Draco winced. He didn’t want to know about how Andromeda had reacted to his meltdown. She probably thought he was some sort of madman, why would she go ahead with adopting him now?
“Stop that,” Harry ordered sternly. Draco blinked. Was he doing something?
“Stop what? I’m not doing anything!” said Draco.
“Stop spiraling. Andromeda isn’t angry, she isn’t disgusted, and she isn’t going to abandon you. She isn’t going to hate you. She just wants to understand, so she can help. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. She cares about you, and she isn’t going to be horrible about you being autistic,” Draco tried not to start crying again, knowing that if he started now he wouldn’t stop anytime soon.
“Okay. I should probably tell her, huh?” he sighed. Harry slowly reached out and grasped Draco’s hand, giving time for him to pull away. Draco didn’t. He liked the feeling of Harry’s hand in his. He liked the comforting touch. He hadn’t had a lot of those as a child, his parents having been indifferent and sort of just leaving him to his own devices.
Draco was reluctant to reach out to people and he didn’t like most people touching him at all. He didn’t know why it was different with Harry, but he wasn’t complaining.
“You don’t have to tell her now, but you should soon,” Harry’s voice was still soft and quiet. Draco groaned and half-fell half-climbed out of the hammock.
“Best get it over with, or I’ll chicken out,” Draco resigned himself to the awkward conversation.
“Are you sure?” Harry asked. Draco nodded wearily.
“Do you want me to come?” he asked. Draco felt a wave of relief crashing over him.
“Yes please. Only if you don’t mind-” Draco said gratefully. Harry just stood up and led Draco to the kitchen, hands linked between them.
***
Draco finished explaining everything he knew about autism to Andromeda, who listened attentively. Once he ran out of things to say, he stopped talking and stared at the table awkwardly. Andromeda didn’t say anything immediately and for a minute Draco was worried she would dismiss him, or respond with anger.
That had been how his parents reacted, when he tried to explain why he was the way he was.
His worries were unnecessary.
“Thank you for telling me, Draco. Are you okay with Ted and Dora knowing?”
Draco nodded.
“Do you want to pursue a diagnosis?”
Draco nodded again. He and Harry actually discussed this a few weeks ago.
“Do you know any ways to make it easier for yourself?”
“I know some spells to block out noise and soften fabrics that Harry found. I know some things to avoid, and I know some things that can calm me down. There’s nothing much I can do to stop myself from being stressed by school. Some things just stress me, even things I enjoy. I can delay something like earlier from happening, but it kind of just... builds up,” Draco explained. He was very tired, and he didn’t really want to be having any sort of conversation right now. He did want Andromeda to know this though, so he would push through it.
“Do you think there’s anything that Ted and I can do to help?” she asked kindly. Draco hesitated. He didn’t want to ask too much of them, but Harry squeezed his hand, wordlessly telling him that it was okay.
“Just... don’t be offended when I don’t make eye contact, try to keep your voices down when I’m tired? I don’t really know. If somewhere is too loud, I usually try and go someplace quiet, so I guess... let me do that?” Draco said meekly. Harry smiled proudly, his entire face lighting up with pride. Draco couldn’t help but smile too.
“Of course Draco. If something is ever too much for you, don’t hesitate to ask for help okay? Ted and I won’t mind. When you’re at school, I know you can go to Severus. Make sure you remember that, and don’t feel guilty asking for help,” Andromeda said seriously, but with a warm smile.
Draco agreed quietly, once again fighting tears.
Harry scooted closer and put an arm around Draco’s shoulder.
“Told you it would go well,” He said. Draco sniffed and offered him a watery smile.
It felt good, having people in your corner.
Draco didn’t want to let it go.
He knew that it would break him, having this for the first time and having it taken away.
Love always came at the risk of loss.
But I’m hopeful, Draco thought as he looked at Harry’s radiant smile, brighter than a thousand suns.
More hopeful for my future than I ever thought possible.
Notes:
It's a theory of mine that during autistic meltdowns, accidental magic is commonplace. I often push people away if they try approach me when I'm overwhelmed, so I feel that someone with magic would end up with their magic going into fight mode.
Also, I think that accidental magic can be reported by the parent/guardian of the magical child so they don't get killed by the ministry.
Also, am I the only one who thinks its absolute shit that Harry could have been expelled for accidental magic?
KEY WORD ACCIDENTAL
Chapter 17: Christmas Morning
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Harry’s POV
Christmas Eve morning dawned bright and crisp. A bird perched on an electricity wire chirped happily, and an answering reply echoed from far away.
Harry stretched languidly, not quite willing to get up yet. He had woken up feeling warm and fuzzy, the remnants of the dream he had had drifting away with the dawn. All he remembered was feeling safe and warm, wrapped in a familiar comforting embrace.
Eventually, the feeling wore off and Harry sat up. He stood and padded across his room, socked feet picking their way around all of the random junk he had lying around his room. The door creaked when he opened it, as it always did. Not to worry, Severus would probably be awake anyway.
Harry stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and yawning. He had forgotten to put on his glasses, (of course) so he could only really see vaugue shapes and blurry outlines. The hardwood table in the middle of the room was more of a brown blob, and the countertop was practically invisible.
I need to update my prescription.
“Ugh,” Harry said to the empty room, “Forgot my glasses again. Don’t do that again, Harry,” he scolded. It was pointless, to talk to yourself, but Harry found himself doing it quite often. First sign of madness, apparently.
If that was true, Harry had been mad for a long time.
It wasn’t too bad, in his opinion.
“Tea... tea...” Harry mumbled as he searched the cupboards, eventually finding the morning blend. He flicked his wand at the kettle and it started to boil. He pulled the milk out of the fridge that Ted had pushed Severus to buy. It worked much better than a cupboard with a stasis charm.
“Wait... how come the kettle and fridge work here, but not at Hogwarts?” Harry wondered aloud. It was a dilemma. Muggle technology wasn’t supposed to work around magic, but the kitchen appliances in both Severus’ and Ted’s kitchens worked fine. Were they special appliances? Was the house warded differently? Were the appliances spelled to work?
The kettle screeched, loud and piercing through the hazy quiet of morning. Harry quickly switched it off and poured the hot water into his mug. He left the tea to steep, rummaging around the cabinets until he found some bread. He slotted it into the toaster, (another piece of muggle technology that worked in the house) and then removed the teabag from his mug. He poured in a lot of milk, and spooned in a ridiculous amount of sugar (he couldn’t stand tea without it, he didn’t care if it was blasphemy). The toast popped up. Harry put it on on a plate and buttered it. He put his breakfast at his place on the table and sat down, sighing contentedly.
He didn’t know what it was about it, but he had always loved the morning ritual of getting up and making breakfast. After months at Hogwarts, where they sat down with the food already in front of them in the noisy hall, the familiar quiet routine was welcome. It was times like these that Harry felt truly at home. He sipped his tea (which was the perfect temperature) and nibbled at the toast. It wasn’t a fancy breakfast, it was low effort and bland, but Harry would choose this over the extravagant spread at Hogwarts.
He’d had this routine since he was old enough to operate a kettle, only interrupted when he stayed over at other people’s houses or when Severus decided to make pancakes. Even Andromeda and Ted knew his morning routine by now, because he stayed over so often. Draco was very well acquainted with the ritual, because Harry had explained it in great detail after the third time he turned down pancakes in favour of buttered toast.
“Morning Harry,” Severus greeted Harry as he went about his own morning routine. He didn’t have tea, favouring coffee so dark it could swallow your soul. Harry had tried it only once before, and almost died it was so bitter.
Never again.
“Hi Dad!”
Harry finished his breakfast, but stayed seated at the table. It was early, there was no need for him to get dressed quite yet. They would be heading over to the Tonks and Draco’s house later to stay the night, as was the tradition.
Harry couldn’t begin to explain how excited he was to share his Christmas traditions with Draco.
“Have you packed an overnight bag for tomorrow?” Severus asked.
Oops.
“Uhm... no, I entirely forgot. Sorry...” Harry said sheepishly. Severus rolled his eyes.
“Go do that in a minute then,” he ordered. Harry quickly sat up very straight and saluted his father.
“Yessir!”
Severus chuckeld at his antics and shooed him with the hand that wasn’t holding a mug of scarily dark coffee.
“Off you go then, soldier. Pyjamas and underwear are in need of urgent placement in your bag!”
Harry nodded curtly and set off marching upstairs, keeping as straight a face as he could manage (read: giggling quietly while frowning exaggeratedly). He didn’t put much effort into packing, just threw his Christmas jumper and pyjamas into a bag with a pair of pants and some underwear. He actually already had at toothbrush at the Tonks house, because he kept staying over on a whim and having nothing to brush his teeth with. At this point he had two homes because he stayed over at Draco’s so often. Harry had always been close with the Tonks, but this was a new level.
Now finished packing, Harry was left to wait (im)patiently until it was time to go. He was practically exploding with excitement. He had all his gifts wrapped and placed underneath Andromeda’s tree. He wanted to be over there right now, he wanted to see Draco.
Finally, after what felt like years, Severus called Harry downstairs so they could floo over. Harry grabbed his bag and bounded down the stairs, bouncing up and down in impatience.
“Lets go!” he pushed, frustrated at how long it was taking for Severus to get the fireplace lit.
“Harry seriously, you saw them yesterday!” Severus said exasperatedly.
“So?”
Severus merely shook his head in amusement and finally threw the floo powder into the fire. Harry hopped up to the fireplace immediately, ignoring his father’s amused scolding.
“Tonks residence!” Harry shouted and stepped into the flames. He tucked in his elbows and squeezed his eyes shut, spinning past fireplace after fireplace. Eventually he was spat out and fell face first into Draco’s living room. He sprawled on the fire mat, coughing and spluttering. His glasses were skewed, digging into his cheek on one side.
“Harry!” Draco exclaimed excitedly, pulling Harry up off the floor and fixing his glasses. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
Harry saw Draco’s beaming smile and felt himself return it. Draco looked so at ease here. His eyes were tired but sparkling with joy. He never looked this... himself, at Hogwarts.
“Hi!!!” Harry exclaimed, voice louder than he intended. He saw Draco’s aborted flinch.
“Sorry,” Harry whispered. Draco somehow smiled even wider.
“I’m so excited for tomorrow!” said Draco, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “I’ve never really celebrated muggle Christmas before, but Andromeda explained some of it to me. Apparently muggle children get gifts from some strange man called ‘Santa Claus’ who’s actually just their parents lying to them.” Draco said, excitement radiating off of him in a similar fashion as to when he ranted about snakes.
“I’ve heard about that! It sounds rather ridiculous, don’t you think?” Harry replied. Draco nodded enthusiastically and grabbed Harry’s hand, dragging him through the house after him.
“Come on! You’re staying in my room, like always,” Draco told him. Harry stumbled after him, trying to keep up without dropping his bag. He was leaving a trail of soot behind him but right now he wasn’t really thinking about that. He was far too excited for tomorrow. They reached Draco’s room and Harry unceremoniously dumped his bag on the bed.
“Come on, Andromeda’s making biscuits and wants us to help ice them!” Draco grabbed Harry’s hand again and dragged him all the way back through the hall to the kitchen. Andromeda was covered in flour, but when she saw Harry she hugged him right away. Now he was covered in soot and flour, but it didn’t matter because Andromeda immediately cast a spell that removed all of that.
“Hello Harry! So glad to keep up our yearly tradition. Those biscuits over there are ready to be iced, if you want to show Draco how?”
Harry nodded eagerly and bounded over to where the icing materials were all set up.
Five minutes later the entire table, Harry and Draco were all covered in sticky white icing, while the biscuits were somehow almost entirely clean. Draco was getting increasingly frustrated with his icing bag while Harry tried to clean his glasses. Draco growled in frustration and squeezed the bag slightly too tight, causing the icing to kind of explode outwards. Harry doubled over with laughter while Draco shouted at the bag and angrily ate a biscuit.
Andromeda observed the chaos with an amused expression, but did absolutely nothing to help. After another minute of watching Draco struggle, Harry moved over to his side of the table and started guiding his hands on the bag.
“You have to make sure the nozzle isn’t blocked, or it explodes. Don’t squeeze it too hard, or it explodes. Don’t hold it too loose at the top, or it explodes,” He said seriously. Draco shot him an unimpressed look.
“Is there anything I can do, without the damned thing exploding?”
He looked so annoyed.
It was kind of adorable.
“Move slowly, yes that’s it! Keep going now, you’ve got it!” Harry kept helping Draco until he was confident enough to do it himself. By the time they ran out of biscuits, Draco had much neater icing skills than Harry, who was far too impatient to do details.
“Thank you boys! Now, off you go to do whatever it is you two do, I’ll call you for dinner,” said Andromeda.
Harry and Draco happily ran off to clean up and spent the rest of the evening chatting and doodling in Draco’s room. They ate dinner, courtesy of Ted, and then at around nine they were ushered off to bed. They didn’t sleep though, whispering quietly into the early hours of the morning until they finally drifted off.
When they woke up they had somehow drifted into each other’s arms, but that wasn’t at the forefront of Harry’s mind.
It was Christmas.
~~~
Draco’s POV
“Draco come on, it’s Christmas! Come onnnnnnnnn!”
Harry was rushing Draco out of bed. Draco sighed and rolled onto the floor, grumbling about overexcited messy-haired idiots. Harry either didn’t hear him or didn’t care, because he grabbed Draco’s hand and pulled him to the master bedroom where Ted and Andromeda were still sleeping.
“We can’t wake them!” Draco whispered frantically, standing firm in the doorway.
“Yes we can! They won’t be angry Draco, I do this every Christmas. ” Harry reassured him but Draco stood his ground.
“No! I don’t want to irritate them. What if they get angry? I don’t want them to shout at me-” Draco flicked all four fingers off his thumb one by one. It helped release some of the pent-up energy in his body, but did nothing to ease his worries.
“They won’t be angry! Surely you’ve woken them up in the night before?”
Draco shook his head. Harry looked concerned.
“What if you’re in pain? Or just woke up from a nightmare? They won’t mind you asking for help,” Harry said alarmed. Draco shook his head again.
“You should be able to go to an adult when you need something!” Harry scolded, “What if it was really serious? They won’t be angry, I swear. Promise me you’ll go to Andy or Ted next time you need something?”
Draco hesitated. Harry gripped his hand firmly.
“I need to know you’re safe. If you don’t ask for help when you need it, I won’t be able to know if you’re safe. I’ll never sleep! Promise. Me.”
Draco sighed and relented.
“Fine. I promise.”
Harry nodded approvingly and pulled Draco further into the bedroom.
“IT’S CHRISTMAS! RISE and SHINE!” He bellowed. Draco shrieked and let go of Harry’s hands to cover his ears. He hadn’t expected Harry to be so loud.
“Sorry Draco...” Harry apologised sheepishly. Draco cautiously lowered his hands and took Harry’s hand again.
“Hrunghhhh” Ted groaned, sitting up and yawning. “So early...”
Harry snorted.
“It’s Christmas. No such thing as early. Now come on! Its time for presents!!!!”
Harry ran off, dragging Draco with him on his quest to wake Severus. Andy and Ted woke Dora, and soon they were all situated in the living room. Harry and Draco sat on the floor, while everyone else were in chairs.
Their hands were still intertwined, resting on the carpet between them.
Draco stayed silent as the rest of the room chatted, internally agonising over whether people would like his gifts or not. He didn’t exactly know how to give presents. He thought he had nailed it with Harry’s gift, but other than that he was very unsure about the gifts he had chosen for his loved ones.
Andy left and returned with a tray of mugs.
“Here you go dear,” Andromeda handed Draco a mug, which he took and looked at with an apprehensive expression. It smelled sweet and a bit spicy, but he didn’t recognise what it was.
“It’s chai,” Harry whispered to Draco, “It’s my favorite drink.”
Draco let go of Harry’s hand to cup the mug in both hands. He brought it up to his lips and took a tentative sip. The gentle blend of spices was warm and strangely familiar, though Draco was sure that this was a muggle drink and he’d never had it before. He sighed contentedly and took another sip.
“It’s amazing!” he exclaimed. Harry hummed in agreement. Andromeda grinned and sat down in the armchair closest to the fireplace.
“Will we do gifts now?” Andromeda asked. Everyone agreed happily and Dora started handing out presents based on the names written on the wrapping. Draco was surprised by the volume of gifts he received. There were more gits then there were people in the room. Where could the other ones be from?
Draco looked down at the pile.
There were a lot of hand-wrapped packages.
Whenever Draco got gifts from his parents, they were expensive and impersonal, wrapped by spells or house-elves.
Draco sat and watched the others opening gifts one by one, unsure if he was allowed to just start opening them. Harry was halfway through his pile when he realised that Draco was just sitting there awkwardly.
“You can just start opening them,” Harry told Draco. Draco gingerly picked up one of the packages and peeled off the wrapper carefully, trying not to rip it.
“You’re allowed to rip the paper,” Harry told him. Draco didn’t want to. Someone had put effort into wrapping this, and ripping paper was really loud. He continued carefully peeling the tape off. Once he was done, he opened the gift to see it was an emerald green wool jumper. Draco carefully picked it up, trying not to wince at the scratchy sensation.
“This is really nice!” He said in the happiest voice he could muster, smiling in a way he hoped looked natural. Dora beamed.
“Thank you! I’ve been learning knitting spells. They’re very tricky, but this was the first one I managed to make that ended up looking right! Try it on, I want to see if it’s sized right.”
Draco reluctantly pulled the jumper over his head, resisting the urge to rip it off the moment the wool touched his bare arms. He loved that Dora had made this for him, but he hated wool. It’s scratchy, abrasive and entirely unpleasant to touch.
“It fits!” He said. Dora smiled happily and went back to opening her presents.
Draco however, rather felt like crying. He wanted to take the jumper off, but that would seem rude. He didn’t want Dora to think he didn’t like the gift, even though he... didn’t like the gift.
Three seconds later, the jumper was as soft as anything.
Draco recognised it as the mollis spell, but a glance sideways told him Harry hadn’t cast it. He looked around confusedly until his eyes rested on Severus who was looking at him knowingly.
“Thank you,” He mouthed. Severus nodded curtly and turned his attention to Ted at his side.
Draco grinned and picked up the next gift. The name tag on it read; To Draco, From Daphne. He hadn’t expected gifts from his school friends. He had gifts for them, so he didn’t know why he was surprised they had gifts for him.
Opening the gift, he found a beautiful quill and notebook. He loved notebooks, liking to run his hands over the smooth paper and doodle in them. Sometimes he would write down lists and thoughts, just to make sense of what was in his head.
Draco continued opening gifts until he had only Harry’s gift left. He now had much more stationary and a very nice jumper, along with many magical sweets and several new books. Everyone else had loved the gifts Draco had given them, successfully quashing any worries Draco had had. Harry hadn’t opened Draco’s gift yet.
Draco looked down at Harry’s gift for him. He picked it up and put it in his lap (it was surprisingly heavy). He didn’t open it though. He wanted to wait until Harry had opened his gift before he opened his own.
“Let’s open them at the same time!” Harry suggested out of the blue.
Again with the mind reading!
Draco agreed happily and opened the gift quickly, actually tearing the paper this time. He heard Harry gasp and turned to see his reaction. Harry was holding up the muggle device with a look of reverence, eyes wide.
“It’s one of them music playing thingies! and a bunch of muggle music! Oh I love Queen! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Harry gushed, putting down the device and hugging Draco tightly. Draco flinched at the initial contact, but relaxed almost immediately and hugged Harry back. Harry sat back after a minute and smiled in his bright, wonderful, completely earth-shattering way. Draco was immediately glad he had chosen this gift, just to see that smile.
“Open yours now! I want to see your reaction,” Harry instructed him. Draco pushed the wrapping paper away, not at all liking the way everyone seemed to be watching him. He forgot this immediately however when he saw what Harry had gotten him.
It was a very long and very heavy soft toy of a snake. It looked remarkably similar to an Eastern Hognose. Draco picked it up and reveled in the heaviness of it. Harry gently maneuvered his hands until the toy was draped across his shoulders.
It felt rather like a hug.
“Thank you!” Draco breathed. He looked to Harry, and met his emerald-green eyes.
“I saw it and thought you would like it! Hermione mentioned something about heavy things being good for ‘deep pressure’ which is like how you like me to hug you when you’re upset!” Harry explained.
“Thank you,” Draco repeated, “This is really thoughtful- thank you!”
Harry laughed and Draco felt his entire world get a little bit happier. He excitedly jumped to hug Harry again, the toy snake slipping off his shoulders. Draco heard Dora snort in a very unseemly way. Draco had noticed her trying not to laugh a lot whenever he and Harry touched. It was very similar to how Camila, Daphne and Maria did when they were ‘shipping’ the two of them.
However, Dora couldn’t be shipping them, because she didn’t know that either of them were queer and then had absolutely no reason to think they were dating.
Not for the first time, Draco found himself thinking quite a bit about dating Harry.
Draco felt his face heat up as he sat back and busied himself Not Looking at Harry. He decided to stack all of the gifts he had in a neat pile and he folded all of the wrappers into squares.
Dora was still suppressing laughter, but now everyone else seemed to be joining in. Draco sighed.
Sometimes he just didn’t get jokes.
****
Christmas dinner, it turns out, is a huge thing. Draco realised too late that there would be far more than just Andy, Ted, Dora, Severus, Harry and him at the dinner. No. Ted’s entire family were coming.
His entire muggle family.
Which meant no magic and no talking to snakes.
Draco was distinctly more worried about the no magic rule. He used magic to block out loud, busy rooms. He was fairly sure that a Christmas dinner party thing was going to be loud. Draco sighed resignedly from his chair and flopped onto the table, burying his head in his arms.
“What’s wrong?” Harry asked. Draco sighed again.
“I hate parties, and I can’t use magic to make this one less loud,” he grumbled.
“Ah,” Harry answered, “I can see how that would be a problem.”
Draco pouted, though no-one could see him. Usually Harry had a solution to these sorts of things.
“There are autistic muggles, right?” Harry said suddenly. Draco actually raised his head to look at him despairingly.
“It’s a muggle diagnosis. Yes, there are autistic muggles,” he said exasperatedly.
“So, surely there’s a muggle thingy that blocks sound? If wizards have a spell for something, Muggles usually have a thingy for it,” Harry pointed out. Draco considered this. Harry was right.
“That’s a very good point! But how would we find said muggle thingy within-” Draco glanced at the clock- “two hours?”
Harry didn’t seem to have an answer for that.
“Good idea, but I’m going to go back to moping now,” Draco told him, and proceeded to do just that.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry found Ted in the kitchen, cooking. He was in charge of the Christmas dinner, because though Andy was an excellent baker, she was completely inept when it came to cooking. Ted was halfway through shoving stuffing up the turkey’s... behind. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but Harry supposed this was the price of delicious food.
“Hey Ted?”
Ted looked up from his work with his usual open smile.
“Do muggles have things that block noise?” Harry asked.
“Of course they do! Earplugs, headphones, ear defenders... You have some headphones with that Walkman Draco got you, though I don’t think they’re the sort to block noise,” Ted explained. Harry nodded along.
“And how would I be able to find some of these thingies before your relatives get here in less than two hours?”
Ted chuckled.
“This for Draco, is it?”
Harry nodded in agreement. Ted’s hands stilled as he took a minute to consider.
“I suppose you could ask Severus to transfigure something? Just tell him what it is you want and he can work from that,”
Harry thanked Ted and went off to find his dad, who was sitting in the guest room and reading the book Andy had given him.
“Hey Dad! Can you do me a favor?”
Severus put down his book and looked at Harry expectantly.
“Can you transfigure a muggle thingy that blocks noise? A- whats it called... ‘Ear defender’ or something? Or Headphones?” Harry asked, waving his hands around in front of him vaguely.
“I can try. I’ll come find you if or when I succeed,” Severus said as he pulled out his wand.
“Thanks!” Harry grinned and skipped back off to the living room, where Draco was still moping.
“Turns out there’s like, three different things muggles have for blocking out sound! Dad’s trying to transfigure one now,” Harry said happily as he sat back down next to Draco.
Draco raised his head and smiled gratefully.
“Thank you!”
“No problem,” Harry said truthfully. He liked helping Draco. It made him feel happy, because it always made Draco smile.
Harry really, really liked Draco’s smile.
It wasn’t long before Severus came in, sporting a pair of what Harry assumed were headphones.
“Here you go,” he handed Draco the thingy, “These were my best approximation at muggle ‘head-phones’. They won’t play music, but they’re charmed to muffle noise. They won’t completely silence everything, so you can still hear what’s going on around you.”
“Thank you!” Draco said happily. Harry watched as he put on the headphones and nodded appreciatively. Severus looked very satisfied with his work.
Well, about as satisfied as he ever did. Harry can read him well but most people think of him as a cold, impassive, angry person who didn’t feel anything at all. Harry had heard the whispers from his classmates.
The Gryffindor’s hated him, even going so far as to insult him to Harry’s face. Since he wasn’t biased towards Gryffindors and was... possibly a little biased towards Slytherins, everyone complains about the ‘blatant favoritism’ that ‘none of the other teachers had’. As if Dumbledore himself wasn’t outwardly biased against Slytherins.
Did people not notice that Gryffindor’s always got lighter punishment for equivalent crimes?
“I think we should report Dumbledore to the board of management for discrimination against Hogwarts houses.”
Harry said it before he knew he was thinking it, but actually thought it was a good idea.
“What?” Draco asked. He looked very confused.
“Think about it! It makes our lives so much harder when we get bullied and then punished for defending ourselves! I get that ideally, we shouldn’t retaliate, but if they’re hexing us, we shouldn’t get detention for pushing them away! That’s like... adulting 101!” Harry said indignantly. Draco shrugged.
“I mean, what can we do? Most of the board are Gryffindors anyway, and the ones that aren’t are all wrapped around my father’s little finger. He’s got a lot of blackmail material.”
His bitter tone made Harry feel... wrong. He didn’t want Draco to have any reasons to be angry.
“Why would your father, a Slytherin, turn down a complaint about bias against Slytherins? Wouldn’t it be good for him?”
Draco sighed in that way he did when there was something Harry didn’t get and would never fully get.
“If it’s me making the complaint, he’ll stop it from getting anywhere out of pure spite.”
Harry felt white-hot anger flood through him. This feeling was familiar whenever it came to Draco’s father.
“That man... UGH! URGHMURFULDORPGIT!” Harry spluttered in rage, gesturing above his head. Draco snorted, trying to supress laughter and failing. Harry started to giggle and soon they were both laughing their asses off on the floor.
They didn’t notice Severus standing in the doorway, watching them with a knowing smile.
Notes:
Random rant that will be relevant in the future-
Since I made up the sonus vesica spell, I get do decide how it works! (*evil laughter*)I think the spell blocks specific noises. Anything that's made by a human that makes noise, voices, animals, etc.
I do not think it can block the sounds of things like wind, thunder, lightning, volcanoes, earthquakes, the ocean, rain or anything that comes from nature.
Magic has to interact in specific ways with the rest of the world. Similarly to how you cannot conjure or transfigure food, I don't think you can block out sounds that come from the Earth itself.
Also, it wouldn't be good to completely block out the sound of say... a volcano erupting. You wouldn't even know you were about to die! Thus, I doubt you would really even want a spell to completely block all noises ever to exist.If you read this far, thank you.
Chapter 18: Christmas Evening
Notes:
Hello! A few warnings-
Use of ableist language
Draco being insecureIf you have anything else you think I should add, comment and I'll add it to the notes. Happy Reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Draco’s POV
The guests arrived all at once. Chatting and catching up, milling about and asking after people Draco had never heard of. No-one noticed him for the first while when Draco hid in the kitchen, but he could hear the loud chatter from several rooms away.
He wasn’t looking forward to it, but once the doorbell stopped ringing every other minute he reluctantly ventured out into the living room, where everyone was gathered.
He was immediately swarmed by several people, all squashing up against him and asking questions. A pair of elderly ladies kept trying to pinch his cheeks and touch his hair, which Draco didn’t understand or enjoy in the slightest.
“Who’s this now?”
“Lovely hair!”
“What’s your name sweetie?”
“Take off those headphones and let us get a look at ya.”
Draco’s head whirled round, trying to keep up with the many voices all at once.
“I- Uh- What?” he stammered, feeling trapped. He didn’t like them all touching him. Draco’s fingers twitched at his sides. A particularly pushy aunt (or grandaunt?) of Ted’s got right up in his face, breathing his air as she looked dead into his eyes. Draco flinched away on instinct, expecting an attack. Was he under attack? His magic surely thought so.
Shit.
The air in the room was suddenly moving far too fast. A few people seemed to notice their hair blowing in their face, and a bell on the Christmas tree started ringing.
Get yourself under control, Draco scolded himself, these are Muggles. You mustn’t scare them.
“Can you even hear me? Take off those silly headphones, it isn’t polite to listen to music when someone’s talking to you!” The pushy woman snapped, reaching for the headphones. Draco shook his head and batted her hand away. Why was it so loud? Draco couldn’t breathe, they were stealing his air. He needed space, he needed these people to back off.
“Can’t you hear me boy? TAKE OFF THE HEADPHONES!” the lady shouted in his face, spittle flying. Draco was having a hard time not crying. His magic was barely under control, why was this woman so angry?
“Everyone, back off! Lillian, leave him alone. The headphones aren’t playing music. Can’t you people hear me? GIVE HIM SOME SPACE!”
Draco sighed in relief when Harry intervened, pushing the many relatives back. Draco finally managed to breathe. Once Harry had ordered away, he approached Draco but didn’t touch him. He gave him a minute to collect himself, smiling in an approachable manner.
“You okay?” Harry asked. Draco took a shaky breath and nodded, wiping his face with his sleeve and shaking his hands, imagining all of the tension in his body leaving as he shook his hands. He took three more deep breaths and rolled his shoulders back. Smiled.
“It’s fine, I’m fine, just... overwhelmed,” Draco whispered. Harry nodded and offered out a hand for Draco to take. Draco took it happily and let Harry lead him to a free spot on the couch where they both sat down. Only now Draco noticed that the room was mostly silent. Everyone was watching him and Harry for some reason.
Draco didn’t like it.
He leaned into Harry’s side almost unconsciously, casting wary glances at the many judgemental relatives. Harry put an arm around him and squeezed his sides, grounding him.
The pushy lady from before broke the silence. Her voice was high and really quite annoying, Draco thought.
“What’s wrong with him? What he’s doing with his hands is unnatural. Who is he anyway?”
Draco’s hands immediately stilled and he sat up straight, automatically putting on the cold Malfoy exterior. Harry’s arm fell to his side and he glared at Lillian.
Andromeda’s usually warm and happy smile sharpened to something dangerous.
Draco didn’t look at anyone else, instead opting to focus on looking composed.
“Draco is my sister’s son. Ted and I are adopting him. I mentioned this on the phone!” Andromeda’s voice sounded very fake. Draco didn’t understand quite which type of fake she was going for. Happy? Grateful? Excited?
“Why adopt him? Did his mother not want him? He’s strange. He isn’t retarded is he? He certainly acts it. You should get that checked Edward, wouldn’t want to be responsible for a retard!” Lillian said with a cruel laugh. She didn’t seem to care that he was right there.
Draco inhaled sharply. He clenched his fist tightly, nails digging into his palms. He didn’t like that word, he didn’t like that idea, he didn’t like any of the things that woman had just said.
He was scared that her saying that would plant a seed out doubt in Andromeda’s mind, make her realise that Draco was more trouble than he was worth and send him back to Malfoy Manor.
He felt like bolting. Was that allowed? Could he just go to his room and ignore the existence of the rest of the world? He couldn’t, could he?
Seemed socially unacceptable.
Andromeda’s face darkened even further, and she glared at the woman with venom.
“Lillian, I won’t have you speak about my nephew that way. Draco is a wonderful boy, and I will not tolerate you using ableist language under my roof,” Andromeda said coldly. Ted put a hand on her arm and smiled, but in a strangely frightening way.
“I agree with my wife. Draco is a delight, and we will not stand for you treating him badly. If you talk about him like that again, I will ask you to leave,” he said cheerily.
Ever since the first day at the Tonks residence, Draco hadn’t ever found Ted frightening. He never thought of him as someone capable of anger.
His false smile and threatening words, however, spoke of a cunning side that Draco hadn’t seen before.
Lillian scowled and turned her nose up, and the conversation moved on.
Harry tentatively put an arm around Draco again. Draco melted back into his side and tried breathe deeply and slowly.
Eventually he unclenched his fists, wincing when he saw the indents his nails had left in his palm.
“You okay? That was horrible,” Harry whispered. Draco grumbled and tried to find a comfortable position on Harry’s shoulder with the headphones in the way. Harry started running a hand through Draco’s hair, and he leaned into the touch.
Draco briefly wondered about how little other people their age touched compared to Harry and Draco.
He stopped thinking about it when it made his head hurt.
After a little while people started giving out gifts, but Draco didn’t get or give any gifts. He didn’t know anyone and no-one knew him. Harry got a lot of presents, but if Draco was reading him right he wasn’t too interested in any of them.
He didn’t smile that beautiful, wonderful smile that meant he was truly elated.
Draco got the impression that all of these new people didn’t know Harry all that well. They smiled and greeted him by name and remarked over how much he’d grown, but their gifts were impersonal. They were pretty looking but not much thought had gone into them.
Lillian kept shooting Draco suspicious glares throughout the whole ordeal. He wasn’t sure what he had done to offend her in the first place. Was it the way he had acted? The headphones? The stimming? The complete and utter silence?
Draco bit his lip, thinking back on how disappointed his strange behavior had made his parents act. They had always told him to be normal. He had to be normal, or no-one will like him.
That can’t be true though, because Harry didn’t care if he was odd. He didn’t mind the stimming and the meltdowns. Neither did Andromeda, Ted or Dora. Severus hadn’t actually witnessed one of Draco’s meltdowns before, but he seemed to be happy finding ways to help Draco cope in his day-to-day.
Draco came to the conclusion that some people were just pricks.
He couldn’t help the lingering insecurity but right now, with Harry, he was feeling optimistic.
He noticed Lillian glaring at him again and in a spot of uncharacteristic impulsivity, stuck out his tongue at her. The indignant expression on her face was priceless. Draco stifled a laugh, pretending he couldn’t see her scowling.
Harry noticed Draco’s amusement, his expression silently asking what was up. Draco shook his head and covered his mouth with his hand, still trying desperately not to burst out laughing. Harry looked completely lost but he just shrugged and went back to chatting with one of Ted’s nieces.
~~~
Severus’ POV
Severus Snape was many things.
He was a father, a teacher, a potions master and (let’s face it) a bit of a prick when he wanted to be.
However, he certainly wasn’t a fool.
He noticed his son’s behavior around Draco.
He noticed Harry’s entire friend group always whispering and giggling, and acting like they had some huge secret from the rest of the world.
He certainly noticed the way Harry lit up like the sun every time Draco seeked out contact with him, which was a common occurrence when he was in private.
Severus knew exactly what Harry hadn’t told him on the first night of school, when he’d been crying about a mysterious secret he had told Draco.
It didn’t take a seer to know what it was.
Since then, Severus had been much more attuned to the way his son acted. All the instances where Harry looked like he wanted to say something but changed his mind, looking scared and disappointed and regretful.
Severus filed them away, along with the many times he’d walked in on Harry and Draco lying practically draped over each other.
The two of them, honestly.
He knew they weren’t going to date yet, since they were eleven, but it was obvious to anyone who knew the two boys that they were going to get together at some point.
Watching them then from across the room, Harry chatting to someone next to him while holding Draco close, Severus wondered how long it would take for them to realise.
This line of thinking led Severus to wondering when Harry would tell him he was queer. There was some phrase for that. ‘come out of the closet’?
Soon, hopefully.
Did Harry think Severus would take it badly? They had never talked about it. Severus hadn’t ever really cared about this sort of thing. It wasn’t something he thought about much. He knew he liked women, he knew some men liked other men. He didn’t see an issue with it, so he had never had much reason to give it thought.
Merlin, Severus hoped Harry didn’t think he would hate him for it.
He should talk to him about it.
How does one casually bring that up in conversation?
Severus had given Harry ‘the talk’ before he went to Hogwarts, knowing that he would need to know these things in secondary-level school. He hadn’t thought to mention Homosexual sex though, as he knew nothing about it whatsoever.
Severus supposed he could find out, then give Harry ‘the talk 2.0’? Though that might just frighten the boy.
Severus groaned. Why was this so complicated?
Maybe he should just walk up to his son and ask him if he was gay.
...probably not the best idea.
“You alright there old man?” Dora asked from behind him, making him jump and whirl around. He sighed.
“Do you know how to make someone come out to you?” He said exasperatedly. Dora looked a bit surprised before a slow, teasing grin spread across her face. She leaned in closer and whispered quiet enough that no-one else would hear,
“Finally realise your son’s as gay as Christmas?”
Severus rolled his eyes.
“I’m not oblivious Dora, I’ve known for ages. I just need him to tell me so I can be embarrassingly supportive and loving!” He lamented. Now it was Dora’s turn to roll his eyes.
“Knowing him, He’ll actually love that.”
Severus couldn’t help but agree.
“Well...” Dora started, a serious look on her face, “He needs to know he’s safe. It’s scary to tell someone something so big and controversial, and it’s even scarier for him to tell you. He’s an eleven year old boy, you’re his father. He needs you. He’s completely dependent on you, emotionally, financially and legally. He’s not going to tell you unless he’s one hundred percent sure that you won’t throw him out or something. You need to give him time, and make sure he knows your opinions on all of this. You can’t just hint at it either, he’s hopeless. He needs it spelled out to him.”
Her face was stony and serious, something Severus hasn’t ever seen her look like. Was it just his imagination, or were her eyes turning slightly red?
Severus nodded slowly. He could do that.
“Thank you,” He said sincerely. Dora grinned, and she was back to being light and bubbly as usual. The change was jarring, to say the least.
“You seem quite knowledgeable about all this,” He said with a raised eyebrow. Dora was suddenly back to being serious.
“I’m queer too, Sev. I haven’t told you ‘till now because I had no idea how you would react,” She said pointedly. Severus winced. He had his work cut out for him.
“Thank you for telling me,” He said. She grinned happily and she was suddenly back to her happy-go-lucky self. Again.
How did she do that?
“So Sev, when’s the bet my cousin and your son get together?” she said cheekily, “I’m thinking fifth year, what about you?”
Severus raised an eyebrow.
“I think they’ll pine all through third year and get together in fourth year,” he said confidently. Dora seemed surprised he had actually bet. Severus shrugged.
“Look at them now Dora, they’re halfway married already and their only eleven,” he pointed out. Dora looked over at the two of them.
Her face fell.
“I don’t think I’m winning this bet,” she sighed. Severus stuck his tongue out at her childishly and she rolled her eyes and walked away.
~~~
Harry’s POV
Harry spent the rest of Christmas day chatting with Ted’s relatives and shooting Lillian the odd glare. He had never liked her that much, but now he hated her with a vengeance. Calling Draco a retard!? Draco was so smart! He was different, but that’s okay! Why would Lillian have a problem with Draco’s hands moving? It was so inconsequential if Draco flapped his hands, so why would people take offense?
Draco had looked so hurt and insecure when she said it. He seemed better now, smiling and actually chatting with one of his... distant cousins? Harry didn’t remember the person’s name. Something like Dorothy. Harry still had an arm around him and he had no plans to retract it because why would he?
He liked having Draco there, at his side, under his arm. It made him feel inexplicably warm and fuzzy inside.
Harry noticed that Draco’s hands were completely still. Harry frowned.
Draco’s hands were always moving. Was this because of what Lillian had said earlier? Probably.
Harry didn’t like seeing him so stiff. Draco was only ever truly still when he was sleeping. If he was writing or reading something he was interested in, he was often less jittery but never truly still.
If he was completely comfortable in a quiet room, happy and with people he knew and loved, he was similar, but Draco was neither now. That meant he didn’t feel comfortable being himself right now.
Harry scowled at Lillian across the room. She didn’t notice but it was still quite satisfying.
Andromeda called everyone in for dinner and Harry reluctantly separated himself from Draco, standing up and heading into the kitchen. He made sure he was sitting next to Draco at the table. His hands were still perfectly still, folded in his lap.
Harry impulsively grabbed Draco’s hand under the table and squeezed it gently. He leaned over to Draco and momentarily slid the headphones off one of his ears to say;
“It’s okay to be yourself. You don’t have to stay so still, you’re allowed to stimm. This is your home, you should be comfortable!” said Harry. He put the headphone back on Draco’s ear. Draco smiled, but it wasn’t the right kind of smile. It wasn’t the smile that Harry loved to see. It was a sad smile, an angry smile, a forced smile.
“It isn’t that simple, Harry,” Draco said lowly, “I don’t want Lillian to say anything else.”
Harry frowned.
“It doesn’t matter what she thinks!” He said indignantly, “Its mean and rude and offensive, but you shouldn’t put any weight in what she says!”
Draco looked dangerously close to tears. Harry panics. What did he say to make Draco cry?
“But what if Andromeda believes her?” Draco whispered.
Harry could barely hear him but the words snapped his heart in two.
“Oh, Draco-” he started but was cut off by Ted placing a large turkey on the table in front of him. Draco didn’t say anything, just picked up his fork and stabbed at his peas. Harry watched him for the rest of the dinner.
They had to stop holding hands to eat, but when they were finished everyone headed back to the front room and they sat back on the couch. Draco curled up next to Harry, Harry with an arm around Draco.
The guests filter out and soon it’s only Harry, Severus and the people who actually live there left. Draco was still acting quiet and sad, but once everyone had left he resumed his usual fidjety movements. The two headed up to bed and only then does Harry bring up what Draco had said at dinner.
“Hey Draco?” Harry whispered into the darkness and turned over in bed to face the other boy.
“Hmm?” Draco replied. Harry saw him open his eyes in the darkness. He looked tired.
“What did you mean earlier, when you said you were scared ‘Dromeda would believe what Lillian is saying?”
Harry watched as Draco bit his lip. Heard him sniffle.
“I just- everything has been so wonderful, since I left the Manor. People accept me for me, that’s something I’ve never had before. I guess... I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m scared that Andromeda and Ted will realise that I’m more trouble than I’m worth. I’m not loud and bubbly like you and Dora. I’m not friendly like Andromeda and Ted. I’m withdrawn and quiet and weird, why would they want to adopt me when I don’t fit into their family?” Draco whispered tearfully.
Harry had to hold back tears himself. He cautiously reached out a hand and gently cupped Draco’s cheek.
“I think you’re wrong,” he stated confidently. Draco opened his mouth to protest, but Harry kept going.
“You don’t have to be exactly the same as everyone else to fit in to a family. You don’t have to be outgoing and friendly. Andromeda and Ted love you, we all do, and we love you because you’re you. We don’t need you to be anyone else. Andromeda was so happy you agreed to come home for Christmas, she wrote me a foot-long letter about it.
When you said you would like them to adopt you, I got another letter from Dora saying how happy her parents were. You’re part of their family now, there’s nothing anyone can say to change that. The other shoe isn’t going to drop, because there is no other pin to drop. Andromeda would kill you just for thinking all this, she loves you Draco,” Harry said softly. Draco let out a choked sob.
“How do you know? What if she’s only keeping me around out of some sense of guilt or duty?”
Harry hugged Draco tightly. He was breathing only hair, but Harry didn’t mind. He let Draco cry, then pulled away and sat up.
“Where are you going?” Draco asked, looking at Harry with his confused, tear-stained face.
“I’m going to talk to Andromeda, and you’re coming with me,” he said. Harry grabbed Draco’s hand and hauled him out of bed despite his protests. He dragged him all the way down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Andromeda was still in the kitchen helping Ted clear up from dinner, but with one look at Draco’s tear-stained face she ushered them to sit at the table and made them both hot chocolate. It didn’t take long because she did it with magic, and soon she was sat across the table from Harry and Draco with a concerned expression.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. Draco shook his head.
Harry felt a little guilty spilling all of Draco’s insecurities like this, but Andromeda was his responsible adult and Draco needed the confirmation that he isn’t unlovable. Harry breifly and awkwardly explained what Draco told him. Andromeda looked sad and angry. Harry spared a glance at Draco.
He looked terrified.
Andromeda suddenly stood up and ran around the table to hug Draco.
“Of course we love you and want you around Draco! How long have you been feeling this?” she asked.
Draco’s arms hovered awkwardly in the air. Andromeda let him go and crouched down in front of him.
“Since-since the beginning?” he answered reluctantly. Andromeda frowned.
“Sorry! I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m just- I just- it’s fine. Sorry,” Draco rambled. Andromeda stopped him with a look.
“Don’t you dare apologise to me Draco Lucius Malfoy. I wish you’d told me earlier!” she scolded. Draco bit his lip and looked down at his hands.
Harry could tell that Draco didn’t know how to reply to her.
“We love having you here, Draco. I promise you, if anyone tries to take you away from us I will fight them to the death,” she said seriously. Draco’s shoulders shook and Harry yearned for some way to make it better. To fix it all and make him better.
“I just- I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want to make your lives harder. I can’t keep being... me, if it’s causing you trouble. If it’s going to... make you realise that I’m not worth it. If my own parents can’t love me, why should you?” Draco said in a barely-there voice. His eyes shimmered with tears that Draco didn’t let fall.
“I think we should send him to therapy, ‘Dromeda.” Ted chimed in from where he’d just finished up tidying.
“That might be a good idea,” Andromeda said thoughtfully. Harry nodded eagerly. That was definitely a good idea.
Draco didn’t seem to agree. He shook his head wildly and flapped his hands hard.
“Nononono! Please, don’t send me anywhere! You just said- you said you wanted me around. You can’t- I can’t-” he started crying, looking confused and devastated.
Andromeda looked lost. Harry realised that Draco didn’t understand what Ted meant. He’s working himself up. He might end up having a meltdown at this rate. Harry scooched closer to Draco and carefully put a hand on either side of Draco’s face and wiped a few tears off his cheeks.
“Draco, it’s okay! No-one’s sending you anywhere. You have no idea what therapy is, do you?” Harry soothed him. Draco shook his head best he can with Harry holding his head. Harry lowered his hands to rest on Draco’s shoulders.
“Therapists are people to talk to if you’ve been a traumatic event, or if you have problems with anxiety or something. They can give you ways to calm yourself down, help you heal mentally. Usually its just talking to help resolve any issues you have,” Harry explained, hoping he was doing it justice.
Draco relaxed a little, though he still looked apprehensive.
“Why should I go to therapy?” he asked quietly. Andromeda raised an eyebrow. Harry smiled sadly at his best friend, so obviously hurting but trying to deny it.
“You went through eleven years of trauma Draco. You were abused by your parents and even though the physical scars from that are gone you aren’t healed mentally. You think no-one can love you if you’re different because your parents told you that. What they did to you left mental scars too, Draco,” Harry explained carefully.
“So- what, you think I’m messed up?” he bit out. Harry shook his head vehemently.
“No! You’re perfect, but you need a bit of help accepting that you’re loved. There isn’t anything wrong with you, but a therapist can help you work through the things your parents ingrained in your mind. They could probably help you with ways to calm yourself down when you’re stressed and all. I’ve been to therapy and if helped me with a lot of things!”
Draco stared at him for a minute.
“Why would you go to therapy?” He asked, seeming confused. His blunt question made Harry snort a laugh. “No, I’m serious! You’re so... happy, all the time!”
Harry shrugged.
“No-one’s happy all the time. I went to therapy because of anxiety and a couple of phobias. Some of them are because of the anxiety, like how I’m terrified of storms. Some of them are because I was neglected as a baby. I don’t remember it, but apparently you don’t have to remember something to be traumatised by something. I’m very claustrophobic, scared of small spaces. Dad’s told me I’ve been locked in a cupboard so that’s probably where it came from.” Harry explained. Draco looked surprised.
“So therapy isn’t for people who are broken?” he asked quietly.
“No, it isn’t,” Harry said with a warm smile. Draco sighed and nodded.
“It’s probably a good idea then. But how would I go? I’m in a boarding school, we aren’t allowed leave just whenever,” he asked. Harry didn’t have an answer for that.
“Pomona is a qualified therapist,” Severus shouted from the living room. Harry jumped, not having realised that his father was listening. “I can talk to her about it when the next term starts!”
Draco looked unenthusiastic about this idea.
“She’s my teacher though! What if she told everyone?”
“She’ll sign a contract Draco, so it’s completely confidential. Outside of sessions, she’ll treat you like any other student. No-one even needs to know that you’re meeting her for therapy sessions. You can come up with a cover. Pomona is a therapist to many of her students, I don’t know how she finds time in her day.” Severus shouted.
“Okay...” Draco said apprehensively. Harry took his hands off of Draco’s shoulders and turned to Andromeda.
“You can probably set that up, ya?”
Andromeda nodded and shooed them back off to bed with one last reassurance that Draco was wanted.
In the dark cloak of the night, Draco whispered a thanks to Harry when he was already half to sleep. Harry waited until he was knocked out cold before whispering-
“Anything for you. Anything and everything, always.”
Notes:
I know some people wouldn't like that Harry told Andromeda what Draco told him in confidence- Harry's only eleven. He can't shoulder all of Draco's problems, and even if he was older he shouldn't. Draco can't depend completely on Harry, and Harry isn't able to help him. He told Draco's responsible adult, someone who is mature enough to help him and make decisions on his behalf.
Pages Navigation
writtenbybcjr on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 12:47PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 12:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
writtenbybcjr on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:00PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:03PM UTC
Comment Actions
writtenbybcjr on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:04PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:05PM UTC
Comment Actions
writtenbybcjr on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:06PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:11PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 1 Sat 26 Apr 2025 01:13PM UTC
Comment Actions
(Previous comment deleted.)
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 1 Sat 13 Sep 2025 11:00AM UTC
Comment Actions
writtenbybcjr on Chapter 2 Sat 26 Apr 2025 04:57PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 2 Sat 26 Apr 2025 04:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 2 Sat 26 Apr 2025 04:59PM UTC
Comment Actions
Devourer_of_Knowledge on Chapter 2 Fri 05 Sep 2025 08:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 2 Fri 05 Sep 2025 08:21PM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 2 Thu 02 Oct 2025 03:47AM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 2 Thu 02 Oct 2025 06:11AM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 2 Thu 02 Oct 2025 07:33PM UTC
Comment Actions
NikoPAWZZ on Chapter 3 Tue 29 Apr 2025 07:50AM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 4 Thu 21 Aug 2025 04:12PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 4 Thu 21 Aug 2025 07:15PM UTC
Comment Actions
Account Deleted on Chapter 5 Wed 30 Apr 2025 04:02PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 5 Wed 30 Apr 2025 04:16PM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 5 Thu 21 Aug 2025 04:34PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 5 Thu 21 Aug 2025 07:16PM UTC
Comment Actions
blossomsk1d on Chapter 7 Tue 27 May 2025 07:50PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 7 Tue 27 May 2025 09:18PM UTC
Comment Actions
blossomsk1d on Chapter 8 Wed 11 Jun 2025 05:54AM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 8 Wed 11 Jun 2025 07:14AM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 9 Thu 21 Aug 2025 07:53PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 9 Thu 21 Aug 2025 08:11PM UTC
Comment Actions
HunterOfArtemis151 (ThisIsMe3) on Chapter 11 Fri 11 Jul 2025 11:32AM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 11 Sun 13 Jul 2025 05:26AM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 12 Fri 22 Aug 2025 05:15AM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 12 Fri 22 Aug 2025 07:43AM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 14 Fri 22 Aug 2025 07:26PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 14 Fri 22 Aug 2025 07:28PM UTC
Comment Actions
Lila_84 on Chapter 15 Sun 31 Aug 2025 01:58PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 15 Sun 31 Aug 2025 02:44PM UTC
Comment Actions
Past_Lives_Lisa99 on Chapter 15 Sun 31 Aug 2025 03:19PM UTC
Comment Actions
MostlyRainbowFluff on Chapter 15 Sun 31 Aug 2025 04:04PM UTC
Comment Actions
Pages Navigation